#our power randomly went off last night too

[iodotsys]

The earth was angry today. :/

[y4wnjunz]

i randomly typed in a scenario in chatgpt bc i’m bored as shit. here’s the scenario:

“scary fanfic about park sunghoon fighting off his demon girlfriend”

pls do not take this seriously, ai did the whole thing 🤣🤣

**Title:** *Whispers in the Shadows*

**Summary:** Park Sunghoon finds himself entangled in a chilling battle of love and survival as he discovers that his beloved girlfriend is possessed by a malevolent demon. As the entity's influence grows, Sunghoon must confront his darkest fears to save the woman he loves before she’s lost to the darkness forever.

---

The moon hung high in the night sky, casting an eerie glow over the deserted streets. Park Sunghoon stood alone at the edge of the park where he first met her, where the air seemed thicker tonight, tinged with a strange sense of foreboding. The whispers of the trees in the breeze did little to calm his nerves.

Sunghoon’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He hesitated, knowing who it would be. His girlfriend, Minji, had become increasingly unpredictable lately—her once sweet demeanor shifting into something far darker, something dangerous. With a deep breath, he answered.

“Sunghoon…” Minji’s voice crackled through the speaker, her tone drenched in desperation. “Please, come find me.”

His heart pounded in his chest. He could hear something else in her voice, a layered echo, as if two voices spoke in unison—one hers, and one...not.

“Where are you?” he asked, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice.

“At our place…where it all began,” she whispered, her voice fading into static before the line went dead.

Sunghoon’s mind raced. “Our place” could only mean the abandoned church on the outskirts of town, where they used to sneak away for quiet moments together. But it had been years since they’d last visited. The place was rumored to be haunted, and Sunghoon had always dismissed those stories as nonsense. Now, he wasn’t so sure.

Without another thought, Sunghoon made his way to the church, each step heavy with dread. The closer he got, the more oppressive the atmosphere became. Shadows stretched unnaturally long, and the night seemed to grow colder with every breath he took.

Finally, the church loomed before him, its once grand structure now a decrepit relic of the past. The doors were slightly ajar, and as he pushed them open, a gust of cold air swept past him, carrying with it the faint scent of decay.

Inside, the church was bathed in darkness, the only light coming from the flickering candles that lined the altar. And there, standing in the center, was Minji. Her back was turned to him, her long black hair cascading down her shoulders like a veil.

“Minji…” Sunghoon called out softly, but she didn’t move.

He approached her cautiously, each step echoing through the empty hall. As he got closer, he noticed something was terribly wrong. Minji’s reflection in the cracked mirror behind the altar didn’t match her movements. It smiled when she didn’t, its eyes glowing with a sinister red hue.

“Minji!” Sunghoon shouted, rushing to her side. But as he reached out to touch her, she turned, and he stumbled back in horror.

Her face was twisted into a grotesque mask, eyes black as coal, and a cruel smile stretched impossibly wide across her face. The Minji he knew was gone, replaced by something evil.

“Did you really think you could save her, Sunghoon?” the demon’s voice slithered out from her lips, a mockery of her once sweet tone. “She belongs to me now.”

Sunghoon’s heart raced, but he forced himself to stand his ground. “I won’t let you take her!”

The demon laughed, a sound that echoed off the walls and sent chills down his spine. “You’re too late. She’s already mine.”

Desperation clawed at Sunghoon’s mind as he frantically searched for a way to reach the girl he loved. He remembered something his grandmother once told him about spirits and demons—how they could be driven out by the strength of one’s will, by love, and by invoking the name of a higher power.

“Minji, I know you’re still in there,” Sunghoon pleaded, stepping closer despite the demon’s taunts. “You’re stronger than this thing. Fight it!”

For a moment, Minji’s eyes flickered, the darkness within them wavering. The demon’s grin faltered, replaced by a snarl of anger. “She’s too weak! She’s nothing without me!”

Sunghoon’s heart ached at the sight of Minji struggling against the force within her. He took her hands in his, ignoring the icy coldness that radiated from her skin. “I love you, Minji. You have to fight! You’re stronger than you think!”

The demon screamed, a terrible sound that shook the very foundations of the church. The candles flickered wildly as if the shadows themselves were rebelling against the light.

“No! She’s mine!” the demon roared, but its grip on Minji was slipping. Sunghoon could see it—the real Minji, fighting to break free.

In a final, desperate attempt, Sunghoon closed his eyes and whispered a prayer, not just to any god but to Minji herself, pleading for her to come back to him. “Minji, come back to me. I need you. We can face this together.”

The air grew still, the darkness thickening around them. For a moment, everything was silent. Then, slowly, the coldness receded, and the color began to return to Minji’s face. Her eyes softened, the blackness draining away as tears welled up.

“S-Sunghoon…” Minji’s voice trembled, her body collapsing into his arms as the last remnants of the demon’s presence faded into the night.

Sunghoon held her tightly, relief flooding through him as he felt the warmth returning to her skin. The battle was over, but the scars it left would take time to heal.

As they stood together in the remnants of the old church, Sunghoon knew that their lives would never be the same. The darkness had come for them once, and it might come again. But as long as they had each other, they could face whatever horrors the night might bring.

For now, though, they had survived. And that was enough.

---

**End.**

[xaospoiesis]

06.26 / Funeral season

When I was a kid, a bunch of people died at around the same period. I dubbed it “funeral season”. I think it lasted years, a lot longer than my brain can understand.

One of those people was my grandfather. My memories of him are all linked to disease. He had prostate cancer, I had no idea what that was, other than it made him so ill that I once went to see him at the hospital but couldn’t physically be in the same room so I had to see him through a window. I waved, he waved back. He went back home after that, I think he was on hospice care, a nurse would come, but the rest of the time my grandma, ever so devoted to him, would care for him.

He died on a sunny day, during the summer I think. 2004. I was 10. We were in the garden playing, I had said good morning to him and he had said it back. The sun wasn’t down yet that he was gone. My father announced it to my sister, my cousin and I. Such a direct way too. It was the first time someone I knew died. My sister screamed in surprise and I watched how birds came out of the trees. I didn’t cry. I didn’t even feel sad.

All I’ve ever seen grandpa be, was ill. The rest of who he was, has been told to me through stories, very sparse, of how he was grand, important, intelligent. What a man to follow behind, what a standard to reach. I’ll never reach it. I don’t want to reach it.

Because I’d only remembered him sick, in hospitals, in wheelchairs, the smell of his hospital ward (that one I remember the best, I catch a whiff of it on people sometimes, randomly, it’s been 20 years and I can still remember), in my ten year old mind, it was a logical conclusion. All the meds, all the care, the doctor appointments, they had to say it was getting worse for him. I put all of that together. Adults where I was born don’t tell children a thing. They’re meant to exist only outside of the sphere of adulthood, not “real people” yet, objects, in a sense, belonging to someone. Objects don’t get to be sat down and explained to and comforted. I don’t think I needed comfort anyways. Not for grandpa’s death. I expected that.

But I didn’t feel sad. Other people did. Said so. My dad asked before the burial if I wanted to see him, I said no. I felt guilty for doing so. But I didn’t want to see his corpse. It wasn’t grandpa anymore, just the envelope. I didn’t want to see grandpa without grandpa being there. I didn’t cry then either.

I think I cried once, by forcing myself to. Because I felt abnormal for not doing so. I cried for not crying. For feeling a bit off. Not human enough, maybe something was wrong with me. So I cried for that and used it to fake some semblance of grief. Told myself “I’m so sad, I’ll miss you grandpa” it was a lie, but I was thinking maybe some higher power would see that and not be mad at me for not being truly sad, maybe I’d fool it. It was the middle of the night, no one saw, no one heard. The next day I claimed I had cried to my cousin, she nodded in approval. I did well.

--------------------

My childhood friend drowned at the beach during a family barbecue. The news came all the way to our house. It’s a really small island where I was born. Everything is known so fast. I saw her family get in the car that morning, I waved goodbye to them. After her death, none of them were ever the same. Her sisters, her father, her mom. The baby boy that came later never got to know her or how she was really funny, really bold, or how watching Bridge to Terabithia reminds me of her.

She drowned. I was distraught. I didn’t cry. Her I genuinely grieve. I think I’ll grieve her forever. Quietly.

That day, after the news reached us, my father came to pick us up. We went for a drive. We didn’t talk. Adults didn’t tell children things. Maybe it was to remove us from all the other adults talking about funeral arrangements already. On the drive, a single ambulance went by. Normally, it’d go to the hospital the other way, since it was closer. This ambulance was headed to the other hospital, the one closed to where we all lived. I didn’t dare talk. I didn’t ask my dad. But something in my chest assumed. She was in there. Or just her corpse. Without her in it. I didn’t look back once it passed by, I couldn’t. My chest hurt a little. I really didn’t want it to be her, any of it to be true. I didn’t cry but everything after the ambulance is a blur. I don’t remember much after that.

Other deaths, other silences.

And I keep thinking, now, if they had tried cpr (it wasn't taught up until my sister entered middle school around 5-6 years alter), maybe, just maybe she would still be around. Or maybe she wouldn't. It's not like what-ifs can change anything.

[realmofsolo]

I recently got ahold of the new Mythic GME 2nd edition. It is beautifully detailed and adds far more to the game world than I ever expected. I spent the entire night lost in world-building, weaving together an intricate, fantastical realm that captured my imagination like nothing before it. It was pure magic.Just as I was about to call it a night, my screen flickered, and a pop-up appeared in a language I didn't recognize.I couldn't make heads or tails of it, but for some reason, I could understand it perfectly. Suddenly, I found myself unable to move or feel my body. Panic set in, and I was trapped in my own creation, with no way out.

Suddenly, a voice boomed in my head, emanating from every direction all at once. "Welcome, wayward soul," it said. "You may call me Wiktor. I am the System Admin. This will be our only interaction." The words reverberated in my mind, and I knew then that I was in for the ride of my life.

A sense of weightlessness enveloped me as I tried to make sense of my surroundings. The last thing I remember was drifting off to sleep, but this felt all too real. I scanned my surroundings, but there was nothing there, just emptiness.

“You will find your name, level, stamina and mana below.” I looked down to see a glowing HUD display hovering in front of me. Further confusion washing over me.

"Who are you?" I asked, struggling to make sense of what was happening. "Are you Wiktor?"

The voice continued, ignoring my question. “You can also see the paths available to you at the start. These are guidelines not requirements.”

Name: Ptehu

Lvl:000

Stamina:•••••

Mana:locked

Sunder+-Obj. Durability penalty

Custodian+-More loot when trash diving

Rust++-Detect and exploit equipment defects

Your Reputation proceeds you. Start all negotiations favorably-W Diplomat

The Spear-Morale boost at the front lines

Kin Forsaker-You sell your mother for the right price.

Ultimate Jack-you have no class or job restrictions.

“There is much to learn about The Realm-“

“Oi!” I shouted, “You gonna let me get a word in or talk my bloody ear off!”

I tried to call out again,“Hello, you hear me talking to you,” but the voice went silent, leaving me to ponder my thoughts. Where was I, and how did I get here? Just as I was about to scream again it spoke.

"This is new," it said with a hint of sarcasm. "Apologies, there was nothing in our handbook about this. You have a question, I take it? If you allow me, I will tr-“

I interrupted the voice. "Look, I've got a kid I need to get back to. So, if this dream can hurry it up, I'm all for it. So, is there a way to speed up this cutscene or not?"

Wiktor replied dryly, "Oh, yes.Why not skip straight to the credits while we're at it?" There was another long pause.

“If you’re checking the handbook I’m sure there’s something in the….” I trailed off as suddenly, a half-faced figure materialized in front of me, blocking my path.

“But wait," it said ominously. "We haven't even gone over your stats yet. Aren't you curious about all the wonderful mechanics of our world?"… Are you positive you want to skip this portion?”

I could feel the air grow thick with tension as the large glowing eye stared me down. If I had a throat I’d have a frog in it. "Yes?" I whispered, my voice shaking with hesitation.

With a mocking tone, Wiktor chuckled, "Wow, calm down there, Speed Racer. But before you go, let me just randomly generate your stats.”

*CLATTER OF DICE*

I groaned at his condescending comment, wishing I could give him a piece of my mind.

But before I could respond,I felt a powerful force pulling me, and I was thrown into a pitch-black void. I Memories of my life on Sorg came rushing back - the bustling bazaar, the scorn of my brothers, and the loss of my father. I could feel the sunburn on my skin from when I was lost in the Aamsk.

Wiktor's voice interrupted my thoughts, bringing me back to the present.Still with me, champ?" he asked. "Or did your thrilling past sweep you away?"he asked with a hint of amusement. His comment snapped me back to reality, and I was reminded of my current situation.

*CLATTER OF DICE*

Early Life

Father Dead

Mother Sick

3 Siblings Estranged

Run away

Job/Class

Guide

Income-Meager

Internal Map-can only be lost by magical means

Travel+-traverses known areas faster than usual.

Class locked

Jenyus

Vahssik[Summon]-he might come?

Defiant Mind- You are stronger willed than most.

Mischift

Intent Blind-You have a hard time reading people.

I could feel my anxiety building.

“It seems like you've had a rough go of it, eh?" He said, clearly enjoying my discomfort. I bristled at his condescending tone, but before I could respond his voice softened.

“The Realm is a harsh place, no doubt about it. Consider this a gift…” he said with a sigh,”You're gonna need all the help you can get out there."

*CLATTER OF DICE*

Tandem Birth Intialized…

Tether Establiahed

“Farewell…”

There was a rush and everything went black again.

Bonding Error…

GAME STARTING…

[the-almond-and-the-apple]

you (caden's version)

hi, you.

I started this on September 1st, and it's updated day by day, like a diary.

Please read the whole thing lmao cause there's a lot of shit in here that is later explained and it won't reflect my current feelings unless u read until the end

Bold of you to assume I could sit and write (however many lines of poetry this is) in one sitting.

:)

***

I guess I figured

That I'd end up being

That Guy™

Who writes shitty poems

Instead of saying what I really want to say

I just never figured they'd be about you

You. God, you.

You think you're so Unloveable

Told me that you believed it

That you'd been told it by the people

Who were supposed to bring you up

Not tear you down

And you told me that because that's what friends do

They share stories and cry about their shitty lives.

"I'll never be loved," you say, "I'm Unloveable."

And I know you believe it, misspelling and all.

But I don't

How could I believe it?

I'm sitting here writing poetry about you

For Gods sake

You're the poet out of the two of us

Not me

What am I doing?

"I'm good enough to be Likeable, but not Loveable." You say

You are so unbelievably wrong

Hell, you play music

On the weekends

For fun.

You wait for me after every class we have together

I can't help but smile when I see you

Leaning against the wall

Looking for me.

We text each other compliments

Constantly

Back and forth

But that's just something we do, right?

It doesn't mean anything.

That doesn't change the fact

That whenever i see your name with the words

"you're spectacular, I'm so proud of you!" attached to it

My heart skips a beat

You skipped a lecture on Wednesday

Just to come to snack time with me

Even though that lecture was a one time event

Even though you hate sugary foods

Even though it was out of your way

Even though you dislike crowds

You still went with me

You light up

When you talk about

What you learned in psych last period

You're so excited to share this random information with me

That you stumble over your words.

Yesterday, you told our lit teacher, randomly,

A concerning amount of knowledge

About the pressure points in our body

"Hear me out. I know what I'm talking about."

You could barely contain your laughter.

I spend an hour and a half texting you yesterday

All because you said you wanted to get a cat

We're co-parenting him, apparently.

You suggested we name him Martele

After the joke our orchestra teacher made

Now, every time I say his name, you grin

I caught you staring at me during orchestra today

You were trying to catch my eye to laugh at something our teacher said

How I hoped you were staring just to look at me.

"You're playing with your ring," you point out at lunch today, "what's making you nervous?"

I brush it off, laughing, and blame it on my anxiety disorder

How do I tell you that you're the one making me nervous?

How do I bring up the fact that you usually spin your pen when you're around me?

You smiled at me today

To show me the tooth that sticks out when you grin

"Look," you said through your teeth, "isn't this unfortunate?"

As long as you're smiling at me, nothing is unfortunate

Least of all you

You put your arm on my head today

As we were walking from lunch

"It's because I'm tall," you said, "I've got power over you."

You do have power over me

You just don't know it

And not because you're tall

"Am I reading this wrong?" I ask you on Friday night

"Is this platonic?"

And you say no, I'm not reading this wrong

You say you've liked me all along

And I call you an idiot, jokingly

Because apparently trauma dumping does count as flirting

At least with us

The compliments? They did mean something.

Skipping that lecture? You did that because you wanted to spend time with me.

Staring at me in orchestra? It was genuine.

Being all touchy feely with me? That too.

Laughing at everything I say? Yep.

Waiting for me after every class? That as well.

And then we get to talking:

"I get that we have a mutual fondness for each other, but

is this a relationship?" You ask

What a wonderful question

I tell you that I'm asexual

That I dislike physical contact

I should have mentioned that I'm on the aromantic spectrum too

But I didn't

Because I was worried it would scare you away

"That's okay," you write, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"We don't have to do any of that."

But physical touch is one of your love languages

Who am I to deprive you of that?

The more we talk, the more the pit in my stomach grows

We want different things from each other

Something that the other can't give

You could give me what I want, sure

A best friend

Someone I can spend time with outside of school with

Someone to walk to class with

Someone who makes me laugh

Someone to tease

Someone who loves me for who I am

And for who I'm not

And never will be

Because I'll never be that person

Someone who can run up to you and kiss you whenever I want

I won't want that, most likely

From anybody

I tried to imagine us cuddling on the couch

Watching the Disney movies you've never seen

(which is most of them)

And I feel like I might vomit

And I'm sitting at my computer, crying

Sobbing

Writing this

Because I care about you so fucking much

But in a different way than you care about me, I think

My stomach itches

I pull up my shirt

To reveal anxiety hives covering my torso

I haven't been eating as much as I should

My mouth is so dry that everything feels and tastes like cardboard

My stomach hurts too

Fuck.

I should ask you

"hey, what did you mean when you said the word relationship?"

"what does that mean for you?"

"this is what it means for me."

But I can't bring myself to ask.

Why? I don't know.

Maybe it's because I know I have to see you tomorrow

And you'll probably say something sappy

Call me perfect, one more time

And I'll cry

Again

Because of you

I'm crying now, sitting here, watching the rain

You're probably watching it too

Maybe you're playing your balloon guitar

(you still need to show me that, by the way)

Or looking for the murder of crows that lives by your house

I don't know why I'm writing this

Maybe it's because I hope you have a Tumblr,

And that you'll see this.

Maybe I just need to get my feelings out.

Maybe I'll end up sending this to you, if everything works out

God, I hope it works out.

I really really hope it does.

I'll never delete anything on this poem,

Never alter a stanza, never change a spelling

Because I want it to reflect the emotions I felt while writing it

Maybe not the best artistic decision, but hey

Who cares?

It's my art

Is it our art, because it's about you?

And I realize, now,

After I saw you today

I fucked up.

I fucked up, for real.

I was scared of being loved

Because I didn't think I deserved it

I didn't think I needed to be loved

I do need it.

"Literally nothing changed," you told me after orchestra today,

"We're still friends. I don't hate you."

But I can see the sadness on your face

Hear it in your voice

This is Tuesday, for future reference

The day after our roller coaster of a weekend

(you'll know what I mean)

I wish I could go back and change it

I regret what I said

I do

Truly

But the damage has been done, hasn't it?

I can't go back and alter the past

Can't unsay what I said

We'll stay friends, sure

That I'm not worried about.

But what if I don't want to stay your friend

And you don't want to stay mine?

We both want something more

(I think)

But we're either too shy or too stubborn to admit it

Homecoming is coming up in October

Maybe I'll ask you to that

If I have the guts

If I do, I'll probably send you this poem as well

Not as a declaration of my love (or whatever)

But as a sentiment:

"you make me feel so many things that they refuse to stay in my head, they demand to be written out."

I wrote poetry for you.

I hate poetry, but not when it's about you.

Or, if Homecoming doesn't work

Maybe I'll just ask you over for Halloween

You've never participated in it before

Why not start this year?

With me?

Even if none of this works out

Even if we stop talking completely

If I can make you laugh one more time

A real, genuine, laugh

I'll be okay, I think.

Maybe that is love

The fact that I'm writing poetry about you.

Not saying that we're going to get married

Or get together

Or whatever else that could be interpreted as

Maybe love is just saying hi in the hallways

Or teaching me how to flip your pen the way that you do

Or checking up on each other constantly

"u ok?" "how was ur day?" "got any memes?"

"say hi to the crows in ur yard for me."

What if you've changed your mind about me?

What if I sent one too many apologies

Or asked you one too many questions

I think that's why I don't say it

Because I'm afraid of the answer

So very afraid

I think I believe that I have to constantly be doing Things

To deserve love

Be it romantic or not

Hopefully I can get rid of that feeling soon

Because I want to be loved for who I am

Not for what I'm doing

If I do end up sending this to you:

Hi, you.

It's still Tuesday.

And I still regret not trying to hold your hand at lunch today

No matter how you would have seen it

Romantically or platonically

I wish I had

It would have been worth it just to see the look on your face

(I'm laughing about it now, you'd have looked so surprised)

You tried to steal my pencil from me

I don't know if you remember

It was the first time I made you laugh since what happened

It made my day

That sounds stupid, I know

But it did

It feels strange, writing this to you as opposed to it being for you

There's a difference, I guess.

The fact that I know you'll read this one day scares me

"oh shit, what if he realizes I'm not a robot devoid of emotions?"

That sort of thing.

How could I be devoid of emotions when you make me laugh the way that you do?

At lunch today when you said "the only By I am is By Myself."

What I should have said was "give me some time, I'm still figuring this out."

What I ended up doing was making some random joke

I regret that, too.

The look on your face would have been priceless.

Seeing the hope in your eyes would have been even better then hearing your laugh

If you do end up reading this,

You'll probably have all sorts of critiques

Complaints about how I broke up the stanzas

Or capitalization errors

(Am I supposed to capitalize every line?)

But secretly, you'll be pleased

That I don't only give you the time of day

But that I take time out of mine

To write about you

If I had to guess, knowing myself,

Considering nothing changes for the worse

I'll send this to you right after school

On the Friday before break

That's only 17 days away

17 days since we met, too

Funny how time works like that

You know what?

I think I might do just that

Considering nothing changes for the worse,

I'll ask you to Homecoming

And send you this

And hope I don't fuck this up

Again

"Is this a...Date?" You might ask, "are you asking me out?"

"you decide," I'll say, "consider it an olive branch."

"I'd like it to be one, but I'm also cool just going as friends."

"I can bring some of my other friends along so it won't be awkward, if you choose the latter."

"no pressure."

I think I owe you that choice

Maybe, if you say yes,

I'll wear some 5 inch heels

So I can be taller then you

Finally rest my arm on your head comfortably

I should ask you in person,

If I end up doing this at all

But I won't

We're both too awkward to handle whatever the answer may be

And if your answer is no,

I'll be okay.

Really.

I'll be disappointed, sure, but

Mostly, I'll feel guilt

Because I know what we could've had

And I'll know that I messed that up

And if your answer is yes, hell

I don't know what I'll do

I haven't allowed myself to hope

If I send

"hi. i fucked up. let me try to fix this?" with a link to this attached

What will you say?

If you decide to shun me, okay.

I hope you don't shun me, though

If only to get feedback on this poem

Because I know you'll be the only one to ever see it

You're the only one I've ever written poetry for, anyways

If you decide to say "maybe, lemme think," okay.

If you decide you just want to be my friend, okay.

if you say yes (!!!), okay.

Most likely, you'll be embarrassed that I'm writing this for you

Hopefully for a good reason

But, no matter what your answer is,

I hope you can tell me what you truly think about This Whole Thing

Because we're nothing if not good communicators

And I don't want that to change because I wrote this

Hell, I'm embarrassed too

I'M WRITING POETRY

P O E T R Y

ABOUT Y O U

I'M EXPRESSING THE DEPTH OF MY FEELINGS FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING THAT ISN'T IN A JOKING MANNER

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING

Gotta love that for me

Please don't think that I have the ability to just hit send on this

When I do, I'll yeet my phone across the room and not check it for 72 hours

Out of pure embarrassment

Because this is, quite possibly, the most vulnerable and open thing I've ever done.

That's what poetry is, right?

Vulnerability on a page.

Or a website, in this case.

But I've already made myself a promise that you're going to see this

Sooner or later

So, I might as well go ahead and hit send

I didn't start writing this as a way to tell you I like you

It's turning out to be that, but that wasn't the original purpose

I just wrote it to get my feelings out.

I felt like I was too awkward to say it in person or over text

So here I am.

This isn't meant to be some sappy love poem

I beg you

I implore you

I plead with you not to see it as that.

It's a diary.

You just happen to be in it a lot.

I guess it functions as one, though

One that says:

"hey, I like this person and I hope he doesn't hate me for it."

"I hope things don't change too much."

It's just a shitty poem, that's all

I find it so much easier to express my feelings in writing

There's no chance for buffering that way

I guess that's partially why I wrote this

It's easier for me

I stutter too much when I'm around people I like

It's a wonder I didn't start writing earlier

Even though it's a shit piece of poetry, at least it's a start,

Right?

I'm a sappy person, apparently

Something I didn't know about myself before I met you

Maybe I'm even as sappy as you

Today is Wednesday

I realized that fact at precisely 2:16am

When I woke up from a dream

You were in it, of course

You've been on my mind a lot lately

It's no surprise that my subconscious picked up on that too

We were in Home Depot, I think

Buying potted ferns for whatever reason

There was a Starbucks inside it, too

Suddenly, you weren't by my side

(Foreshadowing? I hope not.)

I texted you:

"oi, ask me out already."

You responded immediately:

"MY LOVE,

THEY HAVE EMANCIPATED FRANCE."

I'm laughing about it now as I'm typing this

Because of course dream you would bring up this totally random information

That had zero relevance to what the conversation was

It's something I like about you both in real life and in dreams

I thought about telling you about my dream today

If only because of the rush of disappointment I felt when I realized

That you didn't actually say that to me

That we weren't actually together

I'm glad I didn't, though.

I don't think I would have been able to make you understand

Just why it meant so much to me

I hope that you know I still like you

That I still want This

I'm just a coward

Because if you Have something, then you can Lose it

And I don't think I could lose you

(Sappy me, blah blah blah. I know, shut up.)

(Blame it on the muse.)

It's easier to pretend I don't care

But I do

I should probably tell you that

But I won't

Not yet

Because you haven't texted me first in a couple of days

And I don't want to seem needy

Am I overthinking it?

Probably.

There's not much else I can do

Except do homework and write bad poetry

And hope that you'll text me soon

I'm realizing now that you don't know this

Because it's all in my head

So how could you know?

I've only said this to two people,

Only one of whom you've met

You sit next to them at lunch.

Maybe if they mention how I feel

Everything will go away

I'd rather it come from me, though,

Even if it is indirect

And even if it is through a poem

(Is that a rhyme?

Maybe I'm better at this than I thought.)

Should I send this to you now?

Right now?

At this very moment?

Walk in to the kitchen, grab my phone, and say:

"hey I lost a bet and now I have to send u this, enjoy."

Maybe that would be the better option

Because we did say we were going to figure it out

But what if this all comes too soon?

I don't mean to be pushy, really,

(no, really. I mean it.)

I just don't have any other way of putting this into words

How I feel

Both my admiration for you and my guilt about this past weekend

I'm not saying that I'm In Love™ with you

Please please please don't take it that way

I use that word extremely loosely and I use it quite a lot

I Love my parents,

My friends,

My dog,

My plants,

Big comfy sweaters,

My books,

Making people laugh,

Hiking,

My cousins,

The city of New York,

Waking up early to see the sunrise,

Traveling,

Archaeology,

Stargazing,

Music,

My cello,

You.

You get the picture.

I cringed writing that last stanza

Doesn't mean its not true

(It is)

I just wonder how you'll take it

Because, like I said before,

This isn't some gross sappy love poem

I'm not saying, "marry me."

I'm saying that I care about you

That's all this is.

And it's easier to say it like this

Instead of on the way to orchestra

Or to math

Where there's more of a chance of me getting it wrong

When there's more of a chance of you making me laugh so hard that I forget what I was saying

Where there's more of a chance of me stuttering and stumbling and buffering over my words

I hope you're just being awkward

I hope that's why you're acting different

I'd even take you believing I didn't like you back

As opposed to you losing feelings for me

Because this will be really, really, really awkward

If you've lost feelings at the same time I've finally come to terms with mine

And if you're reading this, cringing, thinking,

"Ohh, yeah, I never actually liked you," or

"This is super weird and I am Not Looking Forward to seeing you on Monday," or

"I just see you as a friend after what happened," or

"Writing poetry?? Cringe. We're in highschool, dipshit, this ain't a Disney movie,"

Or anything else that I'm afraid of you saying

Then I'm sorry.

I know I told you I don't understand social cues,

But you probably didn't know just how much I meant it.

I could be completely overstretching my bounds and I would have no idea.

Or you could find this cute, who knows.

Knowing me, with my luck, it'll probably be the former.

That would suck.

Happy Thursday, you.

I texted you late last night to clarify my feelings:

"Just because I have anxiety doesn't mean that I don't like you back. I do like you back. It just means that I have anxiety."

You were nice about it, of course

Reiterated the fact that you're okay with us staying friends

Maybe you were a bit too enthusiastic about us staying friends

Now that I think about it

Should I have seen that coming?

And just like that,

What little conversation we had today was strained

For the first time since I met you, I walked alone to math

You didn't sit with me at lunch today

Or walk with me from lunch to our next class

I feel better about This Whole Thing, though,

Because at least I was honest.

I told you how I felt, and now the ball is in your court.

There's no hard feelings, at least on my side.

I hope it's the same for you.

I won't mention This anymore, at least until you do

Because I've said my piece, right?

There's nothing else I can do, even if I wanted to.

I'm still your friend (if you'd like me to be),

I'll still walk with you from class to class (if you'd like me to)

I'll still talk to you in lit (if you'd like that)

I'd still let you play my cello (if you'd like to try)

I'd still like to see your balloon guitar,

To have you visit me at work,

To have you teach me how to spin your pen,

To smile and to laugh with you.

I'll still ask you over for Halloween

Along with a big group of my other friends

Because even though things have changed, I still care about you

You don't have to come, obviously, but sometimes,

It's the thought that counts.

The thought that says, "hey, come eat sugar and watch bad movies with us,"

The thought that says, "you're wanted,"

The thought that says, "you aren't alone,"

Unless you want to be alone, in that case,

Go for it.

I'm not going to be the person who shatters your personal space bubble.

I'd just like to be the person who opens mine to you.

As long as you know that I still care about you

That I still want you to love and be loved

That I still want you have the happiness that you deserve

I don't care what happens.

That sounds dramatic and kind of mean

But it isn't meant to be

Whatever happens with Us, I should have said

Whether we stay friends, go out, or somewhere in between

Even if we stop talking all together

As long as you know that I'd still give you the time of day if you asked,

As long as you know you can still walk up to me in the hallway,

As long as you know that there's still a place in my life for you

(Now, whether you want to take that place is up to you. It's there, though, and it's there to stay.)

I'm okay with it whatever happens

***

Happy Friday.

Is it appropriate to say that I miss you

When you're right here next to me?

When we have three classes together?

When we text each other every now and then?

When we have some of the same friends?

No matter if it's appropriate or not, I do miss you

I miss making you laugh

I miss you making me smile

I miss our late night conversations about nothing at all

(Again, a rhyme? Not bad.)

I miss when you'd crouch by my desk

Rest your elbow next to my water bottle

And ask me how my morning was

"Yeah?" You'd say, "Well, in psych..."

And you'd go on and on about it

(Not that I minded)

Sometimes, I'd catch you glancing up at me

Just to make sure I understood your joke

Or that I was enjoying the conversation

Every time our eyes would meet, you'd stop talking

For a split second

And pause to shake the hair out of your eyes

To see me better, maybe

Or maybe you were just self conscious

Sometimes, I'd glance backwards at you during class

Right after you went back to your desk

And I'd get to see you smile to yourself

About some joke I'd made the minute before

I realize that I could be idealizing this

I know it wasn't all flowers and daydreams and laughter and teasing

But it doesn't really matter, does it?

I had fun.

I think you did as well.

Doesn't change the fact that I still grin when you do

Doesn't change the fact that I wish we'd hang out more

I still see things that remind me of you

And wish we were close enough for me to show it to you

Without getting a one word response

I know the best solution to this is,

Simply enough:

Talk to you

I don't want to invade your personal space

If you don't want to talk to me, that's fine

I still text you first, though

Still smile at you in class

I hope that says, "Hi. You can talk to me if you want. I want to talk to you."

But I'll let you approach me first

Because I've already texted you about This

Now it's your turn

I'd like to think that you're just scared to bring it up

Not that you don't care about me anymore

That very well could be wishful thinking

(I did say like to think, didn't I?)

Knowing me, though

With my everlasting optimism

I'll assume the best until proven otherwise

I'll just assume you're being awkward

Or shy

Or anxious

Even if the signs are there that you're done

Done with me

***

It's Saturday, this time

And I have a thought

That thought is this:

I'd rather have you hate me than feel nothing towards me

Because the opposite of love isn't hate

It's apathy

Hate means that I'm still in your mind

But apathy?

You'd never think of me again

***

Sunday.

I've done this before, actually.

Being friends with a guy,

then the Talking Phase.

When we inevitably grew apart,

It didn't bother me

Because I didn't know what I was losing

I didn't realize that I was flirting with him

And he back at me

I just thought that was what friends did

I figured it was normal

So when we got our schedules

And I moved up a level in orchestra

Without him

Leaving him behind

And we realized that was it

I grinned at him, made a joke, and moved on

It was easy for me to let him go

Because I didn't realize the importance of what I had

But with you?

***

You walked me to orchestra today, Monday

And then walked me to math

You sat next to me at lunch today

And walked me to chemistry afterwards

That's all I have to write for today, really.

You spent time with me, it made me happy.

Hopefully it made you happy too.

I got to make you laugh for the first time in a while.

Don't have much else to say.

***

It's Tuesday.

Theoretically.

Nothing much changed.

I've got nothing to write.

I should be doing homework.

***

Thursday.

I just read this in it's entirety for the first time since writing it.

Yikes.

I am one sappy, dramatic motherfucker, aren't I?

Not saying that what I wrote isn't true

(It is)

But goddamn if I can't crank out some damn good poetry when the need arises

No, I mean it.

I think this this might be the best piece of writing I've ever created.

Blame it on the muse.

I'm over this whole Thing, really.

I'm done being sad and writing poetry and crying about It

I'm tired of being so upset over something I can't contol

Notice how I didn't say I was over you?

Cause I'm not.

I still feel all that guilt I mentioned,

I still miss you,

I still want to make you laugh,

yadda yadda.

Sappy shit.

I'm not upset about it anymore, which is good.

I've come to accept the fact that we aren't going to go out

Unless you have a plan to hand me a small creature of questionable cuteness and use that to ask me to homecoming

(I'd say yes)

We're friends.

I'm genuinely happy with that.

Are you?

I don't want to you to alter how you feel about me just because of this extremely long and wordy poem

Yes, I'd accept if you asked me to homecoming

No, I'm not planning on asking you (at least at the time of writing this.)

No, that doesn't mean I've lost feelings for you

Yes, that means I'm happy where We Are and I don't feel the need to change This

Yes, I still want to be your friend.

Yes, I am nothing if not confusing.

***

Friday.

A week before I'm supposed to send this to you.

And I've had yet another thought:

(Surprising, right?)

It isn't my responsibility to maintain relationships.

That isn't a dig at you, or at anybody

It's just something I realized. 

I'm not a focal point in other peoples lives, however much I would like to be

And because of that, I don't have to go out of my way to keep them in my life 

If they don't want to be close to me, I don't have to go chasing after them 

I'm not required to jump through hoops just to stay friends with somebody 

It's late, past midnight

(Goodnight, by the way. I didn't text you to say goodnight for once.) 

And I don't know how I'll see this when I wake up the morning 

If I'll wake up and worry about whether or not you'll be offended by this 

It isn't a dig

Honestly 

Just one of the points 

On this journey called September 

That I deemed important enough to write down 

And to share with you, apparently 

To show you I'm growing,

Thank you for that, by the way 

One of the many positives of having people tell you that you're perfect

Is that, eventually, you start to believe it

I don't believe I'm perfect, of course 

I'm not 

I'm too much of a coward and too annoying and far too selfish to be perfect

But I do feel a lot better about myself 

And I attribute that partially to you

***

Saturday.

I really am selfish, aren't I?

Thinking that I matter enough to people

For them to text me first

Or to hang out outside of school

Because nobody ever does

And that would be fine,

If I had enough self awareness to realize that people don't actually want to be around me

But here I am, ever the optimist

And I keep going after people who don't want me back

Not even with romance, I feel this way about friendships too

I've realized I've done that with you

Because if you wanted to talk to me, you would

Wanted to hang out, you'd ask

If you wanted to be around me, you'd make an effort to be

And I'm sorry it took me this long to realize it

Now, that isn't to say I don't want to be around people

I do.

But, like I wrote yesterday,

Friendships are two way streets.

If my car is ready to go and your motorcycle is firmly parked, that's fine

I just wish I had realized it earlier

That's a weird analogy, but you know what I mean.

Hopefully.

It doesn't matter how strong my desire is to have a particular relationship with someone,

Because if they think I'm annoying

Or clingy

Or weird

Or not smart enough

Or that my voice is too high

Or that I've got too much of a baby face

Or I that have too many weird hobbies

(or not enough of them)

Or that I'm too quiet

I can't force people to care about me.

So I just...exist.

On the edges of friend groups

Hoping that maybe I'll be able to make somebody laugh

Or maybe I'll bring someone a mint, as a show of kindness

Grab a ruler bookmark off a table for them

(I grabbed one for you because you mentioned you wanted one. It's in my folder if you still want it.)

Or print out some sheet music I know they'd like

Bring a deck of cards to lunch to make people feel less alone

I do all of those things, and I genuinely enjoy it

Seeing people smile is the highlight of my day

Knowing I made them laugh is even better

I just figured I would've found somebody who'd bring me a mint

Or go out of their way to make me smile

Or send me a picture of something I like, just because

Hell, I'd even settle for a, "this remined me of you." text

Because if somebody sent me that, it'd mean I was in their thoughts

Again, this isn't a dig at you

Or at anybody

I'm just ranting

There's a kind of comfort in being sad, isn't there?

You brought that up a while back

Said you believed the worst because you could only be pleasantly surprised

I see the appeal of that mindset now

Maybe it's the undiagnosed Whatever that I have,

But I don't see how people can care about each other

Without actually showing it

I care about you,

So I show it.

I text you memes,

Make jokes,

Walk you to class,

And write you poetry.

It's as simple as that.

I actually enjoy writing poetry when it's about something l like

Who knew that someone would be you?

[goldenmorningglory]

i am thinking about bad buddy (surprise surprise) and how strongly and beautifully it uses locations that it makes us emotionally attach meanings to them.

we take their houses. well this is obvious so i won't go into detail. they've lived there, across the enemy lines with a tin can phone line connecting them. pat's room has seen his frustation releasing drum sessions cause of pran, his quiet sadness when things get too much, it has seen his gaze full of yearning in those three years when he would pull out the guitar. pran's room has seen pat a lot. it has seen pran unconciously smile as he looks at a pick. has seen him cry silently with the curtains closed as he packed away his things to leave. seen that unconcious smile come back and has seen the two of them serenading each other, happy and in love.

but these are not the places i want to talk about. I'm thinking of a non descript dorm corridor. of a rooftop. of a beach side. of a bus stop. of a bar.

we come across these places in our lives don't we? and something about how this show makes each of these super common places hold so much value for each step of pat and pran's relationship, influences how we see those places.

i stayed in the hostel during college. and corridors have seen a lot of things. crazy shehnanigans, getting scolded by the matrons, cats, late night or early morning walks by kids trying to cram last minute. phones calls with all sorts of emotions. for pat and pran i feel, it represented affirmation. them running, chasing, breathless as they act like kids again. the guitar scene where pat affirms that he did wait, he did wish to see pran again. ep 8 where pran affirms that he may take time but he'll never leave pat hanging. each time they waited in front of each other's doors and the other opened was an affirmation. it's a hallway with one way to go for them and it was towards each other. everytime.

i went to the rooftop at the hostel where i was staying for work recently. it doesn't have a skyline view but the stars were bright, the moon was beautiful and i was thinking of them taking the biggest leaps of faith of their 20 year old lives on a rooftop. the scenes may seem sad but for me they all spoke of strength. pran not hiding the fact that he was the 'girl' in the room across. the kiss. pran being ready to confess but pat refusing because he didn't want to win like that. the hug with a promise of running away. the rooftop now reminds me of strength.

i have always, always loved beaches. something about staring as far as your eye can see with the knowledge that across these waters are more people, countries, continents. and the beach is freedom in this show. it's the freedom pat begs pran to give them in ep 6. it's the freedom they wrest from the hands of fate for a limited time in ep 11. it's the freedom of being and loving freely as they come back after graduation. the motif of unshackled that the beach represents in this show is so dear to me.

now a bus stop is something we may not even register. we use it for transport, hurried to get from one point to the next. but this show made it a motif of building together. of teamwork, of setting aside differences and working together to build something lasting. from them bouncing ideas off each other in ep 3 and working together till it finished, the rest of the friends included. it represents pat and pran building again, that steady foundation they seemed to have had in high school. it represents pat asking pran to build with him in ep 6 to help him build something beautiful. it actually even represents the two main instigators of continuing the rivalry- korn and wai learning to be better and less violent over time. it's some sort of power to turn a common, everyday thing like a bus stop into a symbol.

now the bar. i was randomly watching gifsets and i realised how much that bar has seen of the growth in this group of people. it's seen the beginning of their detestation of each other, seen how the engg gang misbehaved with wai. it has seen pat struggle with wanting to get close to pran wanting to comfort him. it has seen a pat close to breaking down and trying not to let it show in the face of Pran's deserved win. it has seen the engg gang stop others from doing the very same that they did before. and finally it has seen each of them pat, pran, ink, korn, wai....has seen them grow, be better, be happier, softer and fall in love. the bar, of all places was the one that saw a lot of pre turning points of their lives and it's quite poetic if you ask me.

well of course these are the ramblings of someone who just has too much bad buddy thoughts and is probably overthinking everything but i really like the consistency of the motifs we got with the locations. it's nice to be able to draw patterns like that and have it make sense. all thanks to p'aof of course.

[yelena-bellova]

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

chapter three - Chapter Four: Madripoor - chapter five

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n, Sam and Bucky pay an eventful visit to Helmut Zemo in Berlin, heading to Madripoor soon after to get answers about the serum.

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: spoilers for episode.3, angst, violence, description of injuries, a few crumbs for the slow burn, breaking the law and looking good doing it

A/N: These chapters always end up being so long lol. I was going to include the nightclub scene but it would’ve made it too long so sorry, it’ll have to wait a few more days. Forgive my shitty Russian translations, I’m on Google Translate and that’s not saying a lot. 

----

“Not that it makes a difference, but I still don’t like this.” I’d voiced my displeasure about meeting with Zemo several times since we’d arrived in Germany. Even though we were already being led through the high security Berlin prison hallways, I still felt the urge to state my opinion. 

The guard that was guiding us gestured towards a door, “He’s just through the corridor.”

“Give us a sec,” Bucky said, the three of us coming to a halt in the middle of the hall. “I’m gonna go in alone.” “Why?” Sam asked.

“You’re an Avenger, you know how he feels about that,” Bucky looked to me, “You, I’m trying to keep as far away from him as possible.”

“It’s not like you two were known for frolickin’ in the sun together,” Sam remarked.

“I’m gonna say it again,” I took an assertive step forward, “I don’t like this.”

“He was obsessed with HYDRA,” Bucky pushed, “We have a history together. Trust me, I got it.”

Taking my cue from Sam, who didn’t fight him any more, I nervously watched Bucky stalk down the hallway to the corridor that led to our possible next step.

“Is he really okay?” I asked, watching Bucky’s figure until he disappeared, “I feel like we’re going a little too far with this.” “He’s invested, which means he’s desperate,” Sam answered, leaning his back against the wall, “This is a little too much though.” 

I copied his posture and we stood in silence, the occasional guard passing by. “What happened last night after I left the room? C’mon, you come out crying and you thought I was gonna let it go?” “Bucky and I were just…” I sighed, remembering the change that had happened between our two conversations, “Learning to get along. I told him about Steve, that’s never fun to relive.” “Ah,” Sam nodded, “Can I ask you something?” 

“Hm?” “You’re not mad at me that I gave up the shield, are you?”

My brows knitted together as I looked over at him, “Why would I be mad? Your decision wouldn’t have changed even if I was, would it?” “No, it wouldn’t have. But you were close to Steve too, you care about his legacy,” he went on, “We’re all angry about Walker. I don’t care if Bucky’s upset at me, but I always care if you are.” “Someone ever tell you you care too much sometimes?” I playfully nudged his sneaker with my own, “Of course I’m not mad, you know I support you no matter what. You made the right decision for you and you have nothing to apologize for. Bucky and even Steve don’t need to understand why you chose to give it up. Would it have been cool to say that my brother is Captain America?” I coaxed a laugh out of him, “Of course, but it doesn’t change how I see you. I’m just proud to say my brother is Sam Wilson.” He poked me with his elbow and smiled, “Now I remember why I keep you around.” “Y/n Y/l/n, Falcon’s Ego Booster.” We were sharing a laugh when Bucky came back around the corner. “That was quick,” I observed. He’d been in there five minutes tops.

“We’ve got our next stop.”

————

“What are you talking about? You wanna break Zemo outta jail?” Sam questioned in the dark, “Where are we, Buck? Have you lost your mind?”

“We have no leads, no moves, nothing,” Bucky replied, shining his flashlight around to try and find the power switch. I couldn’t clearly make out where he had brought us to, he’d brought us through the back door of the building. “So because we’ve hit one dead end, you want to spring one of the most dangerous men in the world out of prison?” I asked, shining my flashlight at Bucky causing him to throw a hand up to shield his eyes, “Bucky, I don’t-“ “Like this,” he finished, “I got that, but we’ve got eight Super Soldiers on the loose.” “Zemo’s gonna miss with our minds, especially yours,” Sam interjected, “No offense.” I made out Bucky’s silhouette reaching up a beam, a loud click of a switch and the lights began to turn on. “Offense,” he scowled.

With the lights on, we could finally see that we were in an auto shop. I was glad to be out of the prison but I wasn’t seeing the correlation between it and freeing Zemo.

“Super Soldiers go against everything he believes in,” Bucky continued, “He is crazy, but he still has a code.” “I’ve been on the wrong side of that code and so have you,” Sam countered, I’d heard in detail about the havoc Zemo had caused and the ramifications of his actions had caused Sam and Steve to become fugitives. Never mind what he’d done to Bucky…”He blew up the UN, he killed King T’Chaka and framed you for it. Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans forgot about it? It’s a rhetorical question, they didn’t. I know why this matters to you, but it’s pushing you off the deep end.”

Bucky stood in front of us now, “We don’t know how they’re gettin’ the serum. We don’t even know how many of them there are,” Sam turned his back in frustration, “Look, let me just walk you two through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

“What did you do?” Sam asked suspiciously, turning halfway to meet Bucky’s eyes.

“I didn’t…” Bucky’s looked away briefly, “Do anything.”

“Then by all means,” I leaned up against a beam and crossed my arms, not believing him at all, “Let’s ride the hypothetical train.” Bucky frowned at my sarcasm before launching into it, “The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element. Now, in this lockup, it’s nine to one, prisoners to guards. And if two prisoners start fighting, then the protocol says four guards have to respond.” “So why would two prisoners randomly start fighting at that moment?” Sam asked.

“Who knows? There could be many reasons…But the point is, these things escalate. Lockdown procedures would have to be initiated and with all those bodies flying around left and right, wouldn’t be hard to slip down a hallway or two. And if the fire alarm got tripped while the prisoners were being separated, someone could use the chaos to their advantage.”

“My gut is sounding off every alarm it has right now,” I commented from my place across from Bucky.

“Yeah, I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this, this is unnatural,” Sam replied finally, “Are you- and where are we, man?” A nearby door closing caused us to turn our attention towards it, a silhouette appearing soon after through a curtain. The shadow became a man and walked through the cloth divider wearing the face I’d had etched in my brain since the day it hit the news.

“You son of a bitch,” I mumbled, creating a ball of energy quickly with my hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sam’s voice rose, walking with me towards the man, “What are you doin’ here?” Bucky was quick to throw himself in front of us, “No, listen. I didn’t want to tell you ‘cause I knew neither of you would let this happen.” “What the hell did you do?” I exclaimed.

“We need him,” Bucky said. Sam pointed to Zemo, “You’re going back to prison!”

“If I may,” the Sokovian man began, removing the hat of his stolen prison guard uniform.

“NO!” the three of us yelled at the same time. He hung his head, “Apologies…” Bucky turned back to Sam, “When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you backed him. You broke the law, and you stuck your neck out for me,” when Sam averted his gaze, Bucky chased it, “I’m asking you to do it again.” 

“And what about her?” Sam gestured to me and the ball of energy I still had formed in my palms, “What happens when she breaks the law?” Bucky’s pleading eyes drifted to me, “He’s our only shot at getting any answers.” My mind was wrestling with itself, his rightness was inevitably going to come at a cost we would all have to pay. On a technicality, yes, I could plead innocent to freeing Zemo. A coconspirator charge, I wouldn’t be so lucky with. But stopping the Flag Smashers meant saving lives and that wasn’t something I could walk away from. I deformed the energy in my hands in cautious surrender, “I’m already breakin’ the law by going against the accords, I need to make it worth it at least.” Sam shot me an exasperated glance, but he didn’t fight me.

“I really think I’m invaluable…” Zemo began from his corner.

“Shut up…” Sam warned, effectively shutting him up. Sam thought it all over for a second before pressing his flashlight to Bucky’s chest, “Okay. If we do this, you don’t make a move without our permission.” Zemo shrugged, “Fair.”

The three of us shared an uneasy look, there was no going back now. “Okay, Zemo, where do we start?”

“Follow me,” he smiled, leading the way out of the auto shop and expecting us to follow. Sam went first, eager to keep his eye on Zemo at all times while Bucky and I brought up the rear.

“I didn’t want to have to go this route,” he said from beside me as if he owed me some explanation for his actions. I sighed, trying to shut off the part of my brain that was screaming at me, “Just be right.”

We maneuvered through a few corridors until we hit a room filled with beautiful antique cars. “So our first move is grand theft auto?” Sam asked. “These are mine,” Zemo corrected, “Collected by family over the generations. I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum. Because once it’s out there, someone can create an army of people…like the Avengers,” he dug through one of the cars to pull out a bag and coat, “I ended the Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished.” My eyes unavoidably flickered to Bucky, observing his reaction to hearing his old code name. He simply watched the man continue speaking. “To do this, we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes.”

“Well, join the party. We’ve already started…” Sam commented.

“First stop is a woman named Selby,” Zemo stated as he headed for the exit, “Mid-level fence I still have a line on. From there, we climb.” 

Sam, Bucky and I left a gaping distance between us and him, we were still highly suspicious and I had a feeling we would be until our temporary partnership came to an end.

————

Zemo had gotten word to somebody that we’d be meeting them at a private airport in Berlin and flying to someplace called Madripoor. Somehow we’d made the journey without being recognized, even those of us who were wanted across the globe. “So all this time you’ve been rich?” Sam asked as we made our way towards the private plane.

“I’m a Baron, Sam,” Zemo answered, “My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country.” 

Zemo greeted the man standing outside the plane, who was dressed like a butler, in Sokovian. “Well,” I crossed my arms and watched one of the world’s most dangerous men exchange cheek kisses, “If we’re going to work with a criminal, at least we picked one that comes with transportation.” “Please,” Zemo said, gesturing for us to follow him up the plane’s steps. Sam awkwardly bowed to the butler and headed up. Bucky extended a hand towards the jet for me to go ahead of him before following closely behind.

When we filed into the plane, Sam and Zemo were already seated. I moved to take the chair across from the baron, wanting to keep as close an eye on him as I could. Bucky’s flesh arm reached out quickly and grabbed my shoulder, I turned to question him and met his wary expression. “Sit with Sam,” he muttered quietly, our faces close enough that I could feel his breath as he’d spoken. It dawned on me that he wanted me to have the safer position. I answered with a nod, maneuvering around him to sit across from Sam. Even though his hand had left my arm, I could still feel its print through my jacket.

We had been flying for maybe twenty minutes when Zemo’s butler, Oeznik, came in carrying a glass of champagne for Zemo and offering to whip up some food. It astounded me how to the world, he was evil yet to his servants, he was a joy. “You don’t know what it’s like to be locked in a cell,” the baron said before looking over at my brother, “Oh, that’s right. You do.”

Sam bypassed the jab remarkably, “Why don’t you tell us about where we’re going?”

“I’m sorry, I was just fascinated by this,” Zemo held up a book, “I don’t know what to call it, but this part seems to be important. Who is Nakajima?”

Not two seconds after the name had left his lips, Bucky out of his seat with his metal hand wrapped around Zemo’s neck. My heart stopped as I watched him lean over the man threateningly. “If you touch that book again,” he growled, “I’ll kill you.” This was a side of Bucky I had yet to see, the one that straddled the line between his dark past and his true self. As he sat back down, tucking the book in his pocket and refusing to meet my eyes, I could tell he wasn’t pleased with how he’d acted. I wasn’t in a place to criticize but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been slightly worried when his fingers hit Zemo’s skin.

“I’m sorry,” Zemo said, “I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier.” “Don’t push it,” Bucky rasped, collecting himself after the scene.

“I’ve seen that book,” Sam spoke up, “It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man, he wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What’d you think?” “I like ’40’s music,” Bucky shrugged and looked out the window, “So…” “You didn’t like it?” Sam exclaimed.

“I liked it,” Bucky replied unconvincingly.

“It is a masterpiece, James,” Zemo chimed in, his hands forming a triangle, “Complete, comprehensive…It captures the African-American experience.” While my brows raised at the European’s surprising education, Sam’s furrowed. “He’s out of line, but he’s right. It’s great, everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

Bucky shook his head, “I like Marvin Gaye.” “Steve adored Marvin Gaye.” “He did,” I chuckled, reminiscing back to only last year, “Played him almost anytime I got in a car with him.” “You must have really looked up to Steve,” Zemo said, “But I realized something when I met him. The danger with people like him, America’s Super Soldiers, is that we put them on pedestals.” “Watch your step, Zemo…” Sam warned. “They become symbols. Icons. And then we start to forget about their flaws. From there,” he shrugged, “Cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought,” Zemo turned his attention to Bucky, “You remember that, right?” As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull? That is why we’re going to Madripoor.” “What’s up with Madripoor?” Sam looked between the two men, “You guys talk about it like it’s Skull Island.”

“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago,” Bucky grumbled, “It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s.” “It’s kept its lawless ways, but we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves,” Zemo’s unsettling eyes moved back to Bucky, “James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.” 

With the way Bucky’s expression had changed in mere seconds from complacent to tortured, it didn’t take long to decode what Zemo was insinuating. “No,” I blurted out, “That’s not fair to ask of him.” “I admire your devotion, Y/n,” Zemo complimented with his lips to his champagne flute, taking a quick sip, “But you know nothing of how Madripoor works. If you want to get to Selby, we must have protection. More than that, we must have leverage. James can provide us both by simply playing a part.” “Devo-?” I shook my head, sidestepping Zemo’s comment, “That’s not playing a part, that’s like reliving every nightmare you’ve ever had. I-it’s like-“ “Y/n,” I turned to see Bucky’s chair rotated towards me, looking helpless and determined all at once, “We need in.” “Yeah, but…” I started to protested before seeing his eyes, those ocean blue eyes I was growing to feel comforted by begging me to let the subject go. I clenched my own y/e/c ones shut in frustration, “Okay.” “Now that that’s settled,” Zemo stood from his seat, “I will find us something to change into, we will need to blend in where we’re going.” ——

The silver dress Zemo had chosen for me was…it made me wonder just what kind of scene we were planning to enter. It was more revealing than anything I typically wore, but gorgeous nonetheless and fit perfectly.

As I was finishing my makeup in the bathroom of the plane, I had to take a second to steel myself for what was to come. This wasn’t just dallying with Super Soldiers any more, this was dancing with the criminal underworld. Zemo hadn’t told us yet the roles we were playing, only that we needed to stay in character at all cost. I had never felt more out of my depth, but had no choice but to rise to the occasion. Giving myself one last check in the mirror, I unlocked and exited the bathroom. 

“Okay, I hope whoever I’m playing is bad with heels,” I held up the elaborate shoes Zemo had matched to my dress, “Because there’s no way I’m going to be graceful in these.” Sam looked up from tying his dress shoes, dressed in a maroon suit patterned with yellow circles. His eyes scanned my outfit unapprovingly. “Uh uh,” he protested, going full protective big brother, “Nope. It shows too much.” “It doesn’t matter what it shows,” I said, bending over to strap on the shoes, “It’s what I’ve got.” “She’s right,” Zemo chimed in, putting his jacket on, “You two are supposed to be rich, glamorous travelers of the world. You need to look the part,” he nodded towards me, “You wear it well.” I politely smiled at the baron and looked up to Bucky, perched in the far corner of the jet. His gaze was fixed on me, eyes quickly traveling down my body before quickly locking with mine. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, his plush lips parted ever so slightly. I found myself just as drawn into him as he seemed to be with me, for a few seconds it was just the two of us shutting our surroundings out. It was…something. “You look nice,” Bucky finally said, his voice slightly strained.

My lips quirked upwards, “Thanks.” “It is time for us to leave,” Zemo announced, bursting the bubble Bucky and I had built, “You’d better get used to those shoes quickly, we’ll be making most of the journey by foot.” He hadn’t been lying. We departed the runway and walked our way towards the city. Madripoor looked beautiful on the outside, the high-rise buildings lit up in all different colors emitting a glow across the waters. 

“We have to do something about this,” Sam finally exclaimed, holding the lapels of his patterned maroon suit, “I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.” “If you’re a pimp, what does that make me?” I gestured to the amount of skin I had on display, “Suck it up, Wilson.” “Only an American would assume a fashion-forward black man looks like a pimp,” Zemo added as we crossed the large bridge leading to the city, “You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.” Sam took Zemo’s phone from his outstretched hand, “He even has a bad nickname.”

I leaned over to look at the picture of Sam’s doppelgänger, “Hey, be nice. That’s your twin you’re talking about.” “And you,” Zemo addressed me, “Conrad is known for entertaining beautiful women, one after the other,” he ignored the faces of disgust Sam and I made at the thought of acting as a couple, “You will be playing tonight’s date, no need to come up with a name or a story as his dates are typically just arm candy.”

“So I’m supposed to just sit and look pretty?” I side eyed Zemo in annoyance, “Great.” “You smell this?” he asked the group.

“Yeah, what is that? Acid?” Sam asked.

“Madripoor,” Zemo answered, “No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There’s no margin for error. High Town’s that way,” Zemo pointed towards the part of the city I’d been admiring, “Not a bad place if you want to visit, but Low Town’s the other way.” We approached a car waiting for us at the end of the bridge, ready to take us into the darkest part of the city. Bucky, who had remained silent since the plane, climbed into the backseat first while Zemo took the passenger’s side. “Let me guess,” Sam remarked as we moved to get in the car, “We don’t have any friends in High Town.”

“I’m guessing not,” I muttered, ducking into the back seat and sliding till I was pressed against Bucky. He didn’t make a sound, he barely even registered my presence. I was about to ask him if he was alright when I realized what he was doing. We all had our roles to play and Bucky was doing just that. 

Sam climbed in next to me and we took off, me sandwiched between the two men trying to convince myself that I could do this. I could pretend to be someone I wasn’t to get answers, but my nerves was convincing me I was going to mess it up for us. No margin for error, Zemo’s words bounced around in my brain. He’d said our lives depended on it. They depended on whether or not I could keep it together. Sam must have sensed my anxiety because I felt his palm slide against my clammy one and squeeze. I sent a shaky one back, taking what comfort I could that I didn’t have to do this alone.

We were escorted in by a motorcade till we got to the seedier part of the city, the bridge we parked under painted with graffiti. Sam helped me out of the car and Zemo took our group through the back way into the city. As we crossed the overhead bridge, looking down into the city, I began to feel like my life had suddenly become some fever dream. Even more so once we entered the city and I was surrounded by people from all walks of life. Smugglers were making deals, guards were stationed outside buildings with machine guns, forgers were trying to sell to people. It was like nothing I’d ever seen. Sam kept me on his arm the entire time, selling our characters while still retaining his protective nature. We followed Zemo into a crowded bar, weaving our way through. “Here we are,” he announced quietly, our fellow patrons took notice as soon as they caught sight of Bucky, “Gotov podchinit'sya, zimniy soldat?” (Ready to comply, Winter Soldier?)

I tried my best to keep my face neutral, though an unwelcome chill went down my spine as Zemo began his act. It was wrong. It wasn’t fair to Bucky or his recovery to make him do this.

We approached the bar and the bartender came over immediately, “Hello, gentlemen. Ma’am. Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.” “His plans changed,” Zemo explained, “We have business to do with Selby.”

The bartender looked over suspiciously at Sam, “The usual?” Sam nodded casually in response and the man walked away to begin prepping the drink. What took us by surprise was when he reached for a jar containing a dead snake rather than the bottle of alcohol. He proceeded to lay the reptile on a cutting board and slice its stomach open, I looked up to Sam who was doing his best to keep his composure. “Ah, Smiling Tiger,” Zemo jeered, “Your favorite.”

The bartender removed a piece of the snake’s guts and sunk it into a shot glass filled with vodka. I covered my mouth with my clutch to conceal my delight at the sight I was about to behold. Sam caught the action and addressed the bartender, “You know what? She’ll have one too.” “Oh, no, I don’t think so,” I quickly protested, waving it off as if it were a shot of tequila and not an animal intestine.

“No, girl, I insist,” Sam grinned phonily at me.

“They actually upset my stomach,” I giggled, glancing to the bartender, “Can’t hold my liquor to save my life, I’ll be up all night sick if it touches my lips. But you enjoy, sweetheart.” The bartender didn’t pay much attention to the exchange as he set the shot glass in front of Sam, who looked unconvincingly between the glass and Zemo. “I love these,” he stated, holding it up for us all to see.

“Cheers, Conrad,” Zemo clinked his glass against Sam’s.

Sam made several, hopefully convincing, noises of excitement about his drink. After giving it one last look, he shot it straight down, holding a thumbs up to the bartender afterwards.

“How badly are you trying not to throw up right now?” I whispered after the man had left.

“I can’t even hear you right now,” Sam replied in a strained voice, focusing on keeping the drink where it needed to be. An intimidating bearded man made us all turn around, he looked to Zemo. “I got word from on high. You ain’t welcome here.”

Zemo, ever the cool and collected presence, turned to the man. “I have no business with the Power Broker. But if he insists, he can either come and talk to me…” Zemo gestured to Bucky, standing at his side. 

“New haircut?” the man asked Bucky, who stayed silent.

“Or bring Selby for a chat,” Zemo finished.

The man left, leaving us with questions. “A power broker?” Bucky grumbled, “Really?” “Every kingdom needs its king,” Zemo replied, “Let’s just pray we stay under his radar.” 

“Do you know him?” Sam inconspicuously asked. “Only be reputation the baron answered, “In Madripoor he is judge, jury, and executioner.”

I spotted another man approaching us, this one walking with a purpose. Zemo looked to Bucky, the show was about to start. “Zimniy Soldat,” Bucky nodded once, “Attask.” (Winter Soldier, attack.) As soon as the stranger thumped Zemo’s shoulder, Bucky sprang to action, his metal hand grabbing and twisting the man’s arm. He pushed him to the center of the room where he proceeded to twist it further before dropping him to the ground. The groans coming from him were sickening as he lay helpless, clutching his most likely broken arm. As another patron came up to attack, Bucky moved fast to disarm him before power kicking him into a table several times. I clung to Sam’s arm even tighter as Zemo shoved someone forward for Bucky to punch, sending him sliding across the floor. 

“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form,” Zemo slyly observed, from my side. It took everything in me not to send him flying across the room right then. He was enjoying this.

When Bucky lifted a man by his throat and slammed him down on the bar was when guns all over the bar were cocked. Sam grabbed onto Bucky’s metal arm, ready to pull him back to us and to reality. “Stay in character,” Zemo whispered, dead serious, “Or the whole bar turns on us.” Sam dropped his arm as Zemo leaned into Bucky, “Molodets, soldat.” (Well done, soldier.)

“Selby will see you now,” the bartender said, watching the scene in awe. Bucky slowly let the man go, gasping and groaning for air once he was freed. Sam looked over warily, “You good?” When Bucky faced us, his eyes met mine before they met Sam’s. I wished I could have concealed my reaction better for his sake, but the second he had attacked was the first time since we’d met that I’d been properly scared of him. It made the incident on the plane look like nothing. My mind knew he was just acting, pretending to be someone he once was for the sake of furthering our mission. But my blood ran just as cold with fear as it would have if the Winter Soldier was standing in front of me. Bucky’s eyes now were watery, filled with pain that he’d worked hard with his therapist to get through, now being brought back to life. Had the bar not been watching and had I not needed to stick with Sam, I’d have been at his side trying to make sure he was alright. Instead, I could only watch as he sniffled, nodded to Sam and followed Zemo to wherever we were going next.

We were escorted upstairs through a series of hallways with a heavily armed guard following us. A white haired woman sat in the middle of the room we were led to, tapping her fingers against the couch she lounged on. “You should know, Baron, people don’t just come into my bar and make demands.” Zemo smiled, “Not a demand. An offer.”

Sam and I took our places standing next to Selby, Bucky stood watch across from us, back in his act. 

“A lot has changed since you were here last,” Selby spared a look at Bucky, “By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison. How did you escape?” 

“People like us always find a way, don’t we?” Zemo shrugged, “I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m here for.” 

Selby pointed a blind finger towards Sam, “You’re taller than I’d heard, Smiling Tiger,” she eyed Sam suggestively and gave him a purr before turning her attention to me, “And what a lovely little dish you’ve got with you.” Internally I was struggling to stay calm and had never felt more exposed with the thin materiel of the dress over my body. “What’s the offer?” Selby grinned at Zemo.

“Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum,” Zemo replied, rising from his seat to circle Bucky, “And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want,” Zemo rubbed Bucky’s chin, playing with it to provoke him but knowing he could get away with it. I felt sick to my stomach.

“Now that’s the Zemo I remember,” Selby approved, “I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately. Yeah, you were right to come to me. Arrogant, but right. The super-soldier serum is here in Madripoor. Dr. Wilfred Nagel is the man you wanna thank. Or condemn, depending on what side of this you’re on. The Power Broker had him working on the serum, but…things didn’t go as planned.”

I squeezed Sam’s arm, we were getting answers. The crazy, chaotic plan was actually working. “Is Nagal still in Madripoor?” Zemo asked.

“Oh, the bread crumbs you can have for free,” Selby’s flirtatious demeanor shifted as she stood to business-like, “But the bakery is gonna cost you, Baron. And before you get all cute, don’t think you can find Nagel without me.” 

A sudden vibration tickled my arm from Sam’s suit pocket, it was his cell phone. He pulled it out hesitantly and looked down at it, I glanced over to see that it was Sarah calling.

“Answer it,” Selby ordered, Bucky had moved behind her to give us protection if need be, “On speaker.” The armed bodyguards moved in closer, it was clear we had no say in the matter. Sam unlocked his phone and pressed the speaker button, “Hello?” “Hey, um, we need to talk about this situation,” Sarah’s voice filled the air, sending an all too brief wave of peace through me, “It’s been drivin’ me nuts.” 

“What situation exactly are you talkin’ about?” Sam replied stiffly. “Are you high? You know what situation, it’s the only situation me and you have.”

“What situation, Sarah?” Sam’s voice grew louder, “Say it.”

“The damn boat,” Sarah replied just as hard, “And watch your tone, okay? I let you slide at the bank.”

Sarah. The boat. Home. And here I was standing in a designer dress meeting with Indonesian crime bosses. Two unbelievable worlds were colliding on the call.

Sam scoffed and nervously chuckling, “Yeah, the bank. Laundered so much, yeah, they’ll come around.” “If that was the case, then why’d they dog you out, Big Time?”

“Yeah, you damn right I’m Big Time. You’ll see,” Sam paused menacingly, “When I have that banker killed.”

We almost had Selby convinced as I watched her pace around the room, we were so close to- “Cass! What’d I tell you about the Cheerios? I don’t have time for this!” Sarah yelled, “Sam, I’m sorry. Let me call you back, and make sure Y/n is with you too.” “Sam? Y/n?” Selby echoed the names, “Who are you? Kill them!”

A second after she had given the order, a bullet shot through the nearby window and struck her chest fatally. The four of us sprung to action, Sam landing punches on the guard stationed behind us while I used my energy to pull the machine gun from his grasp. Across from us, Bucky took care of the other guard. I handed the weapon to Sam and we took our positions in the back of the room, ready to retaliate against the hidden assassin. “They’re gonna pin this on us,” Sam panted, our backs against the wall.

“We have a real problem now,” Zemo said, unbelievably calm for someone in our situation, “So leave your weapons and follow my lead.” Bucky ripped the lock on the back door and the four of us filed down the staircase quick as we could. It dropped us back off in the middle of the city, we hurriedly made our way down the street where all heads were turning to us. “This is not good,” Zemo hurried. The words hung in the air for a grand total of five seconds before bullets started to rain down around us. Bucky, Sam and I tore down the street where in the chaos, Zemo took off in another direction.

“I can’t run in these heels!” Sam yelled over the gunfire. “Oh, I don’t wanna hear it,” I exclaimed, struggling to keep up with them in my stilettos, “Screw it!”

I threw my hands out to my side and lifted off the ground, keeping low enough to dodge any shots but stay close to Sam and Bucky. Two motorcycles sped after us promising more bounty hunters, Zemo caught up with us and killed two lone gunmen hiding behind a dumpster. Two perfectly aimed bullets came out of nowhere and lodged themselves in the heads of the cyclists chasing us.

“You seem to have a guardian angel,” Zemo observed as the three of us looked around for our savior.

“Well, this is too perfect,” a woman’s voice said, she appeared seconds later drawing back her hood and pointing a gun toward us, “Drop it, Zemo.”

Bucky stepped forward disbelievingly, “Sharon?” Sharon Carter. I recognized her only from the pictures I’d seen of her on the news when the shitstorm that branded her an enemy of the state went down. As she strode forward, ready to strike down the man responsible, I couldn’t say with certainty if she was an ally or not. “You cost me everything,” she seethed.

“Sharon, wait,” Sam, ever the steady presence, held a hand out and carefully came towards her, “Someone recreated the super-soldier serum and Zemo had a lead.” “Well, that explains why you guys are here and Selby’s dead.”

“So what are you doing here?” Bucky asked.

“I stole Steve’s shield, remember?” she answered, her face contorting, “I also took the wings for your ass,” she aimed her gun at Sam, “So that you could save his ass,” then at Bucky, “From his ass,” the gun landed on me after Zemo, “Your ass is new.” “I’ve had one hell of an initiation, trust me,” I replied, standing my ground between Bucky and Zemo.

Sharon turned back towards Sam, “Unlike you, I didn’t have the Avengers to back me up so I’m off the grid in Madripoor.”

“Don’t blow that smoke at me, I was on the run, too,” Sam recalled. “Was. Is. Big difference. I don’t speak to my family anymore,” Sharon shook her head sadly, “I can’t. My own father doesn’t know where I am.”

“Listen, Sharon,” Bucky stepped forward, “We need your help. Please.” Sharon mirthlessly chuckled to herself, sighing afterwards as she made her decision. “This isn’t over. I have a place in High Town, you should be safe there for a while.”

While Sam roughly shoved Zemo forward to keep him in his line of sight, Bucky pressed a gentle hand to the small of my back to act as a guide through the dark alleyways. “You okay?” he asked quietly, quickly looking over at me. With everything he’d gone through in the last twenty minutes, the fight in the bar, the unshed tears in his eyes, Zemo talking about him like he was property to be traded, I couldn’t understand why he was asking if I was alright. He was what I was concerned with right now. “I will be once I get out of these shoes,” I joked, trying to get him to smile if at all possible. A corner of his lips turned upwards in a blink-and-you’d-miss-it flash, mine doing the same right after in some sort of relief.

Sharon led us to her car parked down a different alley, Sam shoved Zemo in the front seat while him, Bucky and I squeezed in the backseat once again. The difference between Low Town and High Town was visceral, Madripoor may have been dangerous no matter where you went but High Town provided a little more safety. When we arrived at Sharon’s house, greeted by two burly guards, the feeling of protection increased. The first room we entered was filled with artwork, statues and other priceless works that told us exactly what Sharon had done to afford her lifestyle in High Town.

“Looks like breaking all those laws is treating you well,” Sam commented as we walked through the room.

“Well, I thought if I had to hustle, might as well enjoy the life of a real hustler,” Sharon shrugged, far too goodheartedly for a true criminal, “You know how much I can get for a real Monet?” Sam grinned at his friend, “Deactivate your hustle mood, you sell fake Monets.”

“No, she means real,” Zemo corrected, “This gallery is specialized in stolen artwork. Monet. Van Gogh. Classics.” “I kinda thought that was implied,” I said, following Sharon and Zemo and beginning to relax in the shockingly calm environment, “No offense.” Sharon scoffed, “None taken, a girl’s gotta do what she can to survive. By the way, who are you?”

“Y/n Y/l/n,” I answered, “Sam’s sister.” “Hmm,” Sharon hummed, looking me over once before turning around to hurry Sam and Bucky along, “Come on, you guys need to change. I’m hosting clients in an hour. You,” she pointed to me, “Second door on your left, I’ll bring something up for you.” At the promise of shedding the over exposing dress and blistering heels, I had never moved faster in my life.

————

I took the opportunity to catch my breath while I could, the night had been a little too exciting than any of us had wanted. Sitting on the edge of Sharon’s bed with my elbows balanced on my knees, I felt the adrenaline rush I’d been running on start to subside.

The door opened, bringing in Sharon and her garment of choice. “This looked like it would fit you,” she said, tossing me a black jumpsuit that looked ten times more comfortable than what I was in. She walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out an outfit for herself, “I gotta change too, back to back?” “Works for me,” I replied, turning around and beginning to unzip the dress.

“So you said you’re Sam’s sister but your last name isn’t Wilson?” Sharon asked, I could hear the sound of her clothes hitting the floor.

“We grew up together,” I freed myself of the dress and kicked it to the corner of the room.

“That doesn’t explain why you’re here though,” she said, “This is probably the shittiest family road trip you could go on so clearly there’s a reason.” I looked over to the wardrobe, a pair of black boots sitting on the floor next to it. I used my energy to levitate them and landed them at Sharon’s side. Her dry chuckle served as her reaction. “I kinda begged him to bring me,” I explained as I pulled the jumpsuit up my body, “He was going to send me back home before John Walker decided to not so subtly threaten me with the Sokovian Accords, figured I’d be safer here with them.” “Safer?” Sharon scoffed, “Did he say this before or after you were being shot at by bounty hunters?”

“Well, between getting shipped off to jail and going undercover with a superhero and a Super Soldier as protection, I’ll take my chances here.” I heard Sharon walk away, presumably finished dressing. I zipped up the suit and tightened the belt, turning around after to find her leaned up against her dresser with her hands in her pockets. “Look, I know we just met but let me do you a favor and shed some light on the subject of heroics. It’s all bullshit. The whole costume, nickname, swoop-in-and-save-the-day act is all hypocrisy. I get that you’re young, you’ve got,” she waved a hand at mine, “Whatever that is. Maybe you want to do some good, maybe you just want to feel like you’re a part of something. Maybe you didn’t think it through at all and just thought it would be cool to run with a superhero. But if you’re smart, you’ll get your ass on a plane to anywhere but here and stay clear of all this.”

There was so much going through my head that I wanted to throw back at her, proving her speech completely wrong. Then I remembered that this woman had sacrificed more than most had and the government had turned their backs on her. She’d stuck her neck out for Steve and Sam and had been punished for it. Plus, she was kind enough to give us refuge when she had every right now to. I wasn’t in a place to criticize her. If anything, she should have been a cautionary tale. “I’ve had these powers all my life and have never known what to do with them,” I responded, “I want to help people and this is the best way for me to do that. As easy as it would be for some people to walk away, this is personal and I can’t leave now.” Sharon stared back at me silently before pushing herself off the dresser and brushing past me. There were layers of her expression, if I could peel each one back I thought I might get to the sadness I suspected she felt regarding her current life status. She opened her wardrobe, pulled out a pair of combat boots and handed them to me. “Then take a step back and ask yourself how far you’re willing to go. And if the three of you live long enough to get there, is it going to be worth the hell that’ll come afterwards?” She gave me a half smile before leaving the room, her heavy words hanging in the air. Steve had been my friend, Sam was my brother and Bucky was quickly climbing the ranks of people I cared about. I was going to see this through to the end with them, but what was the end? Was it retrieving the rest of the serum and stopping the Flag Smashers? Was it only two of us returning? One? None? Questions I didn’t have the answers to swirled in my mind as I stared at the door, wondering what awaited us for the rest of the night.

----

A/N: Next chapter is going to be...let’s just say there’s gonna be a lot of developments. A lot. Hope you guys are enjoying it, let me know what you thought or if you’d like to be tagged.

Safe Haven taglist: @tanyaherondale​ @wanniiieeee​ @asoftie4bucky​ @edencherries​ @i-reblog-fics-i-like​ @ttalisa​ @gcfty @withyoutilltheendofthismess​ @rinaispunk​ @weirdowithnobeardo​ @felicityofbakerstreet​ @godlypotterwhodiaries @eternalharry​ @voguesir​ @mizz-kraziii​ @okayline​ @smellmymisunderstoodfluff @wanderin-stories​ @nicklet94 @intricate-melody​ @aesthethickks​ @stumbleonmywords​ @simplybarnes​ @21bruhs​ @lostinwonderland314​ @superbookishhufflepuff​ @kaelyn-lobrutto24​ @zozebo​ @fandomxreaders​ @kittengirl998​ @sarai-ibn-la-ahad​

[badfvith]

burning to the ground | draco malfoy

Request: love your draco work 😍so requesting something where you’re a Weasley and dating draco set in the half blood prince where the borrow sets on fire. where draco apparates to the burrow to tell you to get out because he knows Bellatrix is coming but your family don’t know that you’re dating. just imagining family angst but a really scared and afraid draco 💖💞 A/N: okay so i freaking LOVED this request. i seriously think this might be one of my favorite pieces i’ve written. the end makes me 🥺 (all of yall out there like me who have seen the movies 80 million times will hopefully understand) i hope you like this!!! 💓 warnings: a bit angsty but i promise it’s also fluffy too dw word count: 1786

Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year. Or so they say.

This Christmas was hosted at your house, “the burrow” as everyone called it. You didn’t have much being 1/8 Weasley children, but what you did have was an overwhelming sense of family and love. Your mom decided it was only fitting to invite Remus and Tonks, and of course Harry (who was basically another one of your brothers at this point) as he had been staying with all of you for the year.

This Christmas was different than all the others. Conversations were less about trying to guess what gifts everyone got each other and more about what they thought the Death Eaters’ next moves were. It was obvious that everyone was on edge.

You all walked your guests out at the end of the night. You were leading the pack, and stopped on the porch to hug Remus and Tonks goodbye.

“It was delicious Molly, really.” You heard Tonks say and turned around to see her hugging your mom. Your focus then turned from that sweet moment to a very distressed looking Remus staring out at the landscape ahead. You had to admit, the front of your house looked a bit intimidating in the darkness and the slow breeze swaying the weeds near the water, but nothing too horrifying that it would cause this sort of reaction from Remus.

“What is it sweetheart?” You heard Tonks say softly, putting a hand on his arm. He shook his head briefly but didn’t respond.

You took a few steps forward to get a better look at what Remus might’ve been eyeing, the floor boards creaking underneath your feet. You heard some shuffling around behind you and saw that Harry and Ron had now made their way outside as well, standing closely behind you.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” Remus said, finally breaking the tense silence. “We should go.”

“Thank you again for everything.” Tonks said waving to us. I gave her a smile and the two of them took each other’s hands and started to walk away.

“Alright. Let’s all go inside then.” Your mom said hurriedly.

You heard everyone moving behind you, but you stood still where you were.

“(y/n)! Let’s go!” Ron yelled.

You turned around and waved him off. “I’ll be there in a second.”

“Whatever.” He replied.

After a few more minutes of staring out into the darkness, you convinced yourself that both you and Remus were crazy and that there was nothing there. You took one last good look before turning around to go back inside.

“(y/n)!” You froze. Nope. There is no way this is happening. All night long everyone has been freaked out over Death Eaters and the second you turn around an unknown voice calls your name? You took a deep breath, in which you prepared yourself for death. Why didn’t you go inside when Ron called you?

You slowly turned around, expecting to see Voldemort himself pointing his wand at you. Instead you were met with the all too familiar platinum blonde hair, all black suit, and worried expression of your boyfriend Draco.

You felt a rollercoaster of emotions swim through your brain and your body. A choked half laugh half cry left your throat as you stared at him, wide eyed.

“(y/n)...” He said quietly, for the second time that night.

“Draco.” You replied, before slowly walking towards him and practically falling into his embrace.

This year had been tough for Draco and for your relationship. The beginning of year was...an undertaking to say the least, with Draco keeping you completely in the dark about his father, his family, and his commitments to the Dark Lord. However finally one day he broke down and told you everything which ended in an entire night of cuddles, tears, “i’m so sorrys” and “it’s not your faults.” You have never loved anyone like you loved Draco, and you knew he felt the same. You both hadn’t meant to hide your relationship for this long, but this year everything had gotten so complicated. You decided it was best to keep it a secret from both of your families, obviously knowing the rather difficult history between them. So now that your secret boyfriend who was tasked with killing the most powerful wizard in the world, who would probably be killed by your father if his father didn’t reach him first, had randomly showed up on your lawn on Christmas night, you knew something must be wrong.

“I love you.” You said quickly as you pulled away to look up at him. “But why in the world are you here?”

“You have to get out of here. Now.” Was all he said. There were tears pricking his eyes so you reached up to cup his face, softly stroking his cheek with your thumb.

“What? Why?” You pressed.

“It’s not safe here anymore. I can’t lose you, I can’t–” He said before breaking into a cry.

“Shhh baby.” You said, letting his head fall against your shoulder. “One step at a time okay? Just tell me what’s happening.” Your voice was soft but you were feeling anything but calm right now. There were a million things running through your brain, number one being the fact that you were in plain sight with an entire family of hardcore anti-Malfoys sitting about 10 feet away.

After a few more seconds he lifted his head back up to look at you. “You have to get out of here. She’s coming. I heard their whole plan I know that they’re comi-”

“What in the bloody hell is HE doing here?!” You heard. Your jaw dropped open and you jumped away from Draco. You turned around to see Ron and Harry in the doorway with their wands pointed at him.

“I don’t know but I don’t think he’s here to say Merry Christmas.” Harry spat. He started fast walking towards the two of you.

“STOP!” You screamed, before you fully thought it through.

“WHAT IS GOING ON?” You closed your eyes as your dad’s voice boomed through your ears.

“Shit.” You whispered.

“Expelliarmus!” Harry fired at Draco. You didn’t even notice Draco pull out a wand; your head was spinning with how to handle this situation. Draco’s wand went flying out of his hand and he quickly ran to grab it.

“Stupefy!” Your dad yelled, causing Draco to groan as he was thrown farther backwards. You were frozen to the spot, not having any idea what to do. Your dad ran towards Draco, towering over him on the ground.

“Mr. Weasley I-” Draco started.

“What did you say to her?!” Your dad yelled again. “What do you want?” Draco tried to sit up but Ron came over and fired another spell at him.

“STOP IT!” You cried.

“Go inside (y/n)! You shouldn’t be here.” Your dad said, turning back to you. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t stand here and watch your family torture your boyfriend. All of the people you love most in the world were fighting right in front of your eyes and it was tearing you apart.

“I’ll ask you one more time Malfoy. What...are...you doing...here.”

“DAD!” You exclaimed and finally got the courage to march over there.

“I told you to go inside (y/n!)” He shot back.

“No!” You choked out. “I LOVE HIM.”

The four of them snapped their heads in your direction, and Ron’s wand fell to the ground out of his limp hand.

“WHAT?” Harry asked firmly.

A tear fell down your cheek as you ran over to Draco. You helped him off the ground before you replied to anybody.

“Look...I know this is... this is the worst time and it’s not how I wanted this to happen. This is my boyfriend.” You said, a dry laugh following your statement at the utter ridiculousness and horrid timing of the situation. “We didn’t get to finish our conversation before you all came out here like maniacs but I promise this is the last person in the world who is going to try and hurt me. Or any of us.” You pleaded.

“Have you gone mad?!” Ron yelled.

“Well this is a turn of events I wasn’t expecting.” You snapped your head to see Fred and George on the porch smirking and pretending to eat popcorn.

“Is it so hard to believe this? Crazier things have happened in our lives!” You exclaimed, exasperated. This entire night felt like it had taken at least 5 years off of your life.

Your dad nodded at you slowly. “We’ll deal with this later. But for now, I would still love to know what was so important to tell you that he needed to disrupt our Christmas.”

Draco swallowed hard. He looked over at you and you nodded, signaling that it was okay. “I...I came here to try and protect her. A-and all of you. The death eaters are all at my house. I heard them say they were coming here tonight.”

“Merlin’s beard.” Your dad said quietly.

“Draco...what?” Shocked was an understatement.

Before anyone could get any more questions in, a swirling black mist no one could mistake for one of the Death Eaters themselves came hurling out of the sky and landed in front of you.

“EVERYBODY GET OUT OF HERE NOW!” Harry screamed.

The high pitched laugh of Bellatrix Lestrange rang through the air. Harry immediately ran after her through the bushes as more came down from the sky. You recognized Fenrir Greyback, the unofficial Death Eater but very official aggressive werewolf, and a few others.

“SHIT.” You said as everyone around you started fighting. You grabbed your wand out of your pocket but before you could fire a spell felt Draco envelop you in a hug.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen...but don’t forget that I love you.” He said, his tears falling onto your face due to your close proximities.

“I love you too. I’m so sorry.” You said, and gripped onto him like your life depended on it.

Being a Weasley was complicated. Actually, no it wasn’t. You couldn’t dream of a more loving, caring, or hilarious family to be a part of. Obviously you had your petty sibling fights and teasing, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle.

Being a Weasley was complicated when the love of your life was a Malfoy. And as the screams of your family, black clouds, and fire engulfing your property occurred around you, you couldn’t help but miss the times when being a Weasley was easy. When you all sat in the living room in your matching pajamas, hearing your mom’s voice telling the stories of Babbity Rabbity, or The Three Brothers traveling at midnight.

tags:

@tinylumpiaa​ @kashishwrites​ @lateautumn @ask-sirius-queer-black @inkhearthes

[ghostlywritten]

If Only I Had Stayed In The Shadows - Chapter Seven

James Potter x OC

Words: 6k

Prologue  Chapter One   Chapter Two  Chapter Three  Chapter Four  Chapter Five  Chapter Six

"Where have you been last night?" Alice asked as I sat down at the breakfast table the next day.

"Eh...with James," I mumbled, stuffing my face with cinnamon rolls as hers, Marlene's and Lily's eyes bulged in shock.

"What?" Marlene exclaimed, dropping her cup, "Already?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Yeah?"

She smirked widely, "You little...who would have thought you to be so quick?"

"Quick with what?"

"Letting him pop your cherry of course!" Alice giggled along with Marlene whilst Lily and I went beet red.

"We did not do that!" I protested, shaking my head vehemently.

"Aww, why not?" Marlene pouted into her cup.

"Because I ain't that easy," I retaliated, shooting her a look.

"What? You think I'm easy?" she asked, peeved.

"Well, you do get along with boys very fast," Alice pointed out matter-of-factly whilst Lily nodded next to her. Marlene grumbled under her breath, "Can you blame me when they basically throw themselves on me?" She flipped her hair and I smiled at Alice's giggling.

"How was your dinner with Potter then?" Lily asked suddenly, keeping her eyes on her porridge with intent.

"Quite nice, actually," I replied, my smile widening as I remembered last night, "We talked about a lot of things until it got way too late."

"Boring!" Marlene commented, causing the red head next to her to snicker. "Is that everything?" Lily asked amused and I raised my eyebrows in confusion, "Have you at least kissed or something?"

"Well, no. I didn't want to," I defended myself.

"Oh please, who doesn't want to snog him or the Marauders in general?" Marlene rolled her eyes, "Except for Lily perhaps." Said person's smile dropped an inch before she composed herself. "Exactly. Seems like he is not that into you, after all." I tried not to frown at her words but that stung quite a lot. So what if we hadn't kissed? Was that even normal on a first date? In fact, I hadn't even known it was a date until the end. I couldn't help but feel insecure now, keeping quiet as Lily awaited my answer. Guilt slowly spread on her face when she noted the hurt I was trying to hide.

"When is your second date then?" Alice asked, breaking the sudden silence between us after she shot a knowing look at her green-eyed friend.

"Not sure," I shrugged, rolling my breakfast around on my plate. I didn't feel like talking about it anymore so I changed the topic, "Marlene, what's up with you and my worst enemy?"

"Oh Adrian!" Marlene immediately perked up and started chatting about her shenanigens, successfully giving me a reason to not talk anymore until breakfast was over and we left for class.

"...and he can be surprisingly sweet. Like that one time we were alone and I was so frustrated because McGonagall scolded me again for not getting a spell right...," Marlene kept blabbering whilst we sat down for History of Magic and I almost regretted opening that Pandora Box of a mouth - just kidding - as she gushed about the boy I resented deeply...on the Quidditch pitch. Outside of it we simply ignored each other, really. I sighed, thinking about how I actually had to get along with him after Christmas when he became a part of Team A.

"Alright there, Cec?" James plopped down on the free seat next to me and I blinked. Glancing back, I noticed Sirius settling next to Remus and Peter sitting beside some Ravenclaw bloke. Weird.

"You're not sitting with Sirius?" I asked in surprise.

"Now, why would I want that when I could sit next to you?" he asked with a grin but raised his eyebrows at the squeals emitting from Marlene and Alice in front of us.

"Cheesy," I commented, trying to regain control of my racing heart.

"Only for you," he winked. What a liar. I knew for a fact that he had always been cheesy. Especially when it came to a certain red head, who right now kept glimpsing over her shoulder at us. Her words from breakfast earlier caught up to me and I wondered once again about our 'boring' first date. I had not even for a second thought about our night that way but what if he did?

Shooting a look at the handsome boy next to me mindlessly chatting about some prank he was preparing whilst taking out his stuff I tried to detect any sign of boredom on his features. He was gesturing animatedly with his hands, which caused him to take longer than necessary to get his books out. It appeared like he was having fun. His brown eyes were sparkling even in the dim light of Professor Binn's classroom and I noticed the golden undertones in his rich-coloured irises. In fact, there were a lot of things I was suddenly noticing in that moment; How his glasses kept slipping due to his excited movements, forcing him to nudge them back up on the bridge of his slightly pointed nose, how his dimples popped up from time to time, accentuating his boyish features in an adorable way and how he ran a hand through his thick hair...every five seconds.

"Oi, Cec. Are you even listening?" the boy in my thoughts complained as he flicked my forehead.

"Ouch, yes I am," I said, rubbing the sore spot. Thank Merlin, he snapped me out of it though, I was getting near obsessed with the analysis of his features.

"Seems more like you were obsessed with my looks," James said with a wolfish grin and I did everything in my power to keep myself from turning into a tomato.

"What? I wasn't!" I almost shrieked, busying myself with my stuff erratically, "You just have a booger on your face, that's all."

"Sure, Cec," he replied offhandedly but I grinned as he tried to inconspiculously rub his nose. "So, I was thinking that the Hogsmeade trip next weekend could be our second date," James suggested and by now I was a master in controlling my spit to stop myself from choking on it whenever he randomly decided to make my heart burst.

'But that meant that he did enjoy our first date, right?' I thought, feeling slightly hopeful as I opened my mouth to agree.

"Hell no," Marlene made a sliding tackle, turning around in her seat, "She can't." I shot her an incredulous look whilst Alice kicked her under table.

"Why not?" James asked, as clueless as we all. Though he looked so cute being clue- Merlin, I was whipped.

"Hogsmeade is a traditional girls' trip," Marlene said matter-of-factly, "You don't want to break a three-year long tradition, James. Trust me."

"I guess not...," he trailed off, probably weirded off by the threatening looks Alice and I were shooting at the brown-haired beauty, "Well, some other time then, Cec."

"Sure," Marlene answered for me again and I was almost speechless.

"What the hell was that?" I immediately bombared her as soon as class ended and I saw the last of James' and his mates' heads leaving for lunch.

"Yeah, what did you do that for?" Alice wondered, "Why would you prevent a second date?"

"Yes, why?!" I asked almost hysterically, "That's probably the only boy in this school, who would be interested in a second date with me," I started slapping her arm with each word, " and...you...rejected...him...because...of...a...tradition-"

"Ouch! Merlin, stop!" Marlene backed away from me, hiding behind Alice.

"-that doesn't even exist!"

"Excuse me, the Hogsmeade trips were always our thing," Marlene pointed out.

"Yeah, as long as you didn't have a date!"

"Irrelevant details," she waved off and I wished I could say her blatant disregard of her hypocrisy would be a new thing, "Besides, I was doing you a favour."

"A favour?" I furrowed my eyebrows, "How does scaring an interested boy away doing me a favour?"

"You are being too easy on him," Marlene said and I could feel the beginning of one of her dating lectures, "You have to make a boy work for you, Cec. Make him prove he is worth your time before you give in. That's what keeps them interested in you. They like a good chase but you were just going to hand yourself in for the next date at the first try."

"You have a great way of making me feel like a slut," I commented dryly.

"You are welcome," she grinned back.

"I wasn't being sirius," I almost groaned, resisting the urge to slap her again. I was being unusually violent these days, "So what if they like a good chase? I've been chasing boys in my dreams for years and quite frankly I'm just glad someone as nice as James wants to go out with me again."

"Nice? James?" Lily snorted, speaking up for the first time since class, "He's rude. And mean. Just look at all the pranks he pesters people with."

"He's just joking," I said, though it was only half-heartedly. I knew he was just joking but even I had to admit through my 'lovesick' eyes that his pranks could be quite cruel. Lily just scoffed, probably having read my mind. With her skills I wouldn't put it past her if she had already managed Legilimency.

"James is the textbook example of boys chasing girls," Marlene continued as if our side-conversation didn't even happen, "Look at how long he chased Lily for without rest-"

"Yeah, and then he gave up," I pointed out, watching the red head shift inbetween her steps.

"-I know, but the point is. He chased her for years! He likes this game." Marlene placed a hand on my shoulder, "I'm telling you; let him chase you a little. Not for too long obviously, but enough to keep him on his toes."

I tried to dismiss her words as crazy but in some kind of twisted way it made sense. And she was more experienced and especially more successful in terms of boys than I ever would. Who was I to argue against her?

"That's the most ridiculous-" Alice started but I cut her off.

"What do I do?" she gave me a shocked look whilst Marlene grinned thriumphantly. Throwing an arm over my shoulder, she started leading me towards the Great Hall for lunch.

"Alright, the first step is called 'Ignoring Him'," Marlene started, walking into the Hall, where the students were busy shoveling their mouths with food and chatting about nonesense, "You don't want to appear as desperate as you have this whole time-"

"I wasn't being desperate," I said indignantly.

"But you were easy," she countered, "Always immediately responding to him. Going on a first date without even a little resistance. Staring at him like a puppy-"

"Okay, okay," I relented before throwing her a look, "I should probably feel creeped out with your stalking."

"But you don't because everyone does a little bit of stalking," Marlene remarked and I had to agree...internally, "Luckily for you, I planted the first step by preventing that second date you wanted to immediately agree on," she gave me a reprimanding look my mother would be proud of, "Now, what you have to do is this: Whenever he tries to initiate any kind of contact, you give him your most disinterested glance that lasts precisely 1,5 seconds and give him the shortest amount of words in only one sentence that you can manage."

I let her words sink in, "Siriusly? 1,5 seconds?"

"I've never been more sirius in my life," Marlene said siriusly and I was strangely convinced.

"Trust me, it works," she said as we walked along the Gryffindor table and I noticed we were nearing the Marauders.

"If you say so...," I muttered, wondering how to do that as James looked up with a grin, turning slightly in his seat.

"Hey, Cec. Do you want to sit-" he started.

"What's up, James?" I waved at him without looking as we passed by to settle a few seats away.

"Oi, that was not bad for a beginner," Marlene praised impressed as we sat down and I almost didn't feel ashamed at the pride that filled me at her words. "Now, don't even dare glance at him once. I will count how many times he looks over."

"Alright." To say, lunch was torture was an understatement. Who knew it could be so hard to not look at someone when you were precisely forbidden to. Human nature; always craving the forbidden. It was natural to say I heaved a huge sigh of relief after it was over.

"Fifteen times!" Marlene squealed as we left, heading towards Herbology, "He was staring almost constantly."

"It actually worked?" I asked in surprise and even Alice nodded.

"Yeah, he seemed pretty confused," she commented and his adorably clueless face from earlier flashed through my mind. I sighed blissfully.

"Of course it worked!" Marlened boasted, tugging my arm into hers, "Girl, I'm gonna make you irresistable."

"Where have you been my whole life?" I asked and we giggled, causing Alice and Lily to shake their heads at us with small smiles.

December came and the first half of the month passed by in a blur of Quidditch, Hogsmeade, avoiding James for fun and dreading the upcoming break. I had yet not received a single letter from my parents as expected but now that the day of my doom was heading closer, I was starting to regret the Gryffindor bravery in me that had decided to write them in the first place, happy that the school would be protecting me from their wrath for at least a few weeks.

"Come on, they can't be too angry," Lily reassured, watching me pace around the dorm. Marlene had started packing a bit of her stuff before bed, which once again reminded me of the school break and I had started to walk around nervously, "It's not like it's your fault that Madam Pomfrey won't take any interns."

"You don't know my parents, Lils," I replied, my voice wavering, "They will find some way to blame me for it." She gave me a pitying look over the book she was reading on her bed.

"But you know that you are not at fault," Alice tried this time as she braided her hair, "That's what counts."

"I don't know, maybe I should have tried harder," I mumbled even though it would have been pointless anyways.

"You bribed her with Honeydukes," Marlene pointed out as a row of clothes were magically folded into her bag. I always wondered why she needed that many clothes if she probably had ten times more at home. "If that didn't work, nothing will."

"I guess, you are right," I sighed, plopping down on my bed and burying my face in my pillow, "I wish I could just stay at Hogwarts."

"Don't say that," Lily reprimanded me, "You should be happy, you have a family to go home to." Her voice softened slightly, "Not everyone does anymore." It went silent as we all let her words sink in. We knew what she was hinting at; people were missing, the newspapers were filled with deaths and strange marks on the night sky. The world outside of school was becoming darker and gloomier, our hearts growing heavy each time the owls flew down from the ceiling of the sky and a student once again ran out of the hall in tears.

No one wanted to talk about it, refusing to let it take over our minds but...we were all scared. Deep down, the fear for our family and loved ones was planted in us ever since we were old enough to know that the word 'War' was not just something you read in books and in past tense. It had been in our presence before we had even started school, a Dark Lord rising up from the shadows.

"I think, I'm gonna head out for a bit," I broke silence, the room suddenly stuffy and lacking air.

"Where are you going? It's past curfew," Lily wondered softly, still in her own mind. She had a lot to worry about, her parents being part of the main targets; Muggles. My heart squeezed harshly at the fear that she couldn't quite mask in her green eyes as she usually did and I wished I knew what to say to help her.

Smiling faintly, I picked up a book, "Just to the Common Room for some reading. You girls go to sleep." They bid me 'good nights' and I waited for them to settle in their sheets before I waved my wand to dim the candles.

The Common Room was empty as usual around this time and I settled down in front of the fireplace, opening the book on my lap. Sighing quietly, I tried to ignore the heavy feeling in my chest as I dove into the story, letting my mind focus solely on it to escape reality for at least a little while.

An hour must have passed before the portrait of the Fat Lady swung to the side, light shedding from the hole. But no one came in. Puzzled, I stared at the hole until I heard the slight padding of several feet, causing my eyes to widen in panic. 'What the hell?'

Suddenly James' head appeared out of thin air and I bit my lip just in time to prevent an ear-piercing scream. "J-James? Wha-"

"Hey Cec," he greeted me sheepishly, Sirius head popping up from behind him and this time I did yelp a little.

"You alright there, Grant?" he asked with a grin as if it was normal to stand around with just a head and the rest of his body missing.

"Can we get out now?" Peter's muffled voice reached my ears.

"Oh, yeah. Sure." James threw off what seemed to be a cloak, revealing three of the four Marauders.

"Uff, finally," Peter breathed out a sigh of relief, "I swear it gets more and more stuffy every time we get under it."

"It's because, your stomach gets wider and wider," Sirius teased, prodding his belly, "Relationships make you lazy, Wormtail."

"Do not," he pouted, causing the taller one to ruffle his hair.

"Come on, let's head to bed," the dark-haired handsome boy announced with a yawn, stretching around comfortably as if it nothing out of ordinary had happened.

"Right, good night, Grant." Peter waved at me, Sirius echoing him as they passed by.

"You guys go ahead," James called after them, his friends waving him off as if they had already known.

"Care to tell me what just happened?" I asked, momentarily forgetting that I was supposed to ignore him.

"Oh, Cec. You should know of our nightly adventures by now," James said off-handedly.

"Not that," I rolled my eyes, pointing at the shimmering cloth in his hand, "I mean that."

"Oh this?" He held the cloth up, light reflecting from it slightly. I wouldn't know how to explain it but that cloth practically oozed magic, "This is an Invisibility Cloak."

"You...have an Invisibility Cloak?" I asked incredulously, eyes shining wide.

"Sure, I do," he said proudly as he came closer, plopping down on the couch next to me. He raised his arm, "You wanna try?"

"Hell yes!" I immediately snatched the cloak from his hands, standing up to dive under it, "Can you see me? Can you see me?"

"Obviously not," James chuckled, squinting in the direction he presumed me to be. I was glad I was only wearing socks as I slowly moved to his other side. "Boo!"

"Woah!" he yelped, jumping an inch as he whirled his head around, a hand on his heart, "Bloody hell, woman!"

I snickered, letting the cloak fall from my head. "This is so crazy!" I remarked as I looked down at my nonexistent body, "No wonder, it's so easy for you to sneak away from any trouble."

"Hey now," James said offended, "It takes a lot of skill to keep quiet under that cloak. Especially if three others are under it with you."

"How does that even work?" I wondered, spreading my arms to test the length of the piece of cloth, "It looks too small for you alone, already."

"Yeah, to be honest our growth spurt has been an issue for a while now," James stated, puffing his chest as he felt his biceps, "Can't help the muscles."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure."

James giggled, his manliness dissovling into nothing and I grinned at his cuteness. "It still works for now." He lifted the hem of the cloak and draped it over himself. My breath hitched at the sudden proximity, his chest only inches away from my face. I had to crane my neck to look up at his only to see him stare down at me with his hazelnut brown eyes, the cloak dimming the lights outside. Sweat was forming in my palms and I hoped he couldn't hear my pounding heart.

"See, you and I fit in here, too," he said softly and I imagined his hand brushing against mine ever so slightly, "We could go anywhere we want now..."

"To the kitchens," I suggested, slightly breathless.

He chuckled quietly and my heart sang in joy at the sound, "Or the Quidditch Pitch."

My eyes lightened up at the suggestion. I had never flown around the pitch in the night. Or over the Black Sea or around the towers of Hogwarts. Just imagining the cool air and the darkness of the night with merely the moon illuminating the world made me sigh blissfully.

"Or Hogsmeade if we need to go to Honeydukes," I thought out loud before I gasped in realisation, "That's how you always got the sweets before the first trip!"

"Busted," James grinned, feeling a sense of pride at the admiring look on my face.

"That's so exciting...," I commented quietly, a smile on my face as I grasped the cloak between my thumb and index finger, feeling the satin touch, "All the awesome things you can do with this."

"You haven't even heard half of it," James remarked with a sly grin before his features softened, the warmth pooling from his eyes, "...We can do all of that together...if you want."

It took me second to detect the slight hint of insecurity in his face as he nervously awaited my answer. Biting my lip to keep myself from grinning too wide I squealed internally. This was probably the first time he kind of asked me out for real instead of just swiping me off to a date as if it were obvious I would say yes.

I wondered if I should decline this time as well like my inner-Marlene was screaming at me to do but one glance at his hopeful eyes made me nod almost eagerly. He rewarded me with a wide smile, his eyes crinkling slightly in excitement. "Shall we go catch up on our Hogsmeade date, then?"

My eyebrows rose, feeling slightly unsure. It was in the middle of the night after all and I had never snuck out of the castle before. "Eh...should we, really? It's late and-"

"Come on, Cec," James soothed and this time I knew I wasn't imagining the brush of our hands as he slightly cupped his around mine, his thumb stroking the back of my hand, "I've done this a thousand times already and never got caught. You can trust me."

I gave in, figuring we wouldn't get caught as long as we stayed under the cloak. "Where could we even go? Everything should be closed by now."

"The Three Broomsticks are always open," James responded as he led me out of the Common Room. I shivered slightly in my pyjamas but welcomed the fresh air in the hallways, the wide open windows letting in a cool breeze from time to time. My heart skipped a beat once again as James draped his arm around me, keeping me close for some warmth.

"Have you forgotten you are a wizard again?" I asked teasingly, pointing at his wand. I knew he could easily cast a Heating Charm. I would have done it myself but my wand was on my nightstand. Come to think of it, it was probably not so smart to walk around without a wand but in my defense I had no idea I would wander around the castle at this time.

"I haven't," James replied easily as he led us down a set of staircases, "But maybe I just want to get closer to you." I blushed deeply. "Especially after it's been so long since you were this accepting of me."

"I do not know what you speak of," I said ignorantly, though I felt nervousness built up in me. Marlene had not told me yet what I should answer if I were to be directly confronted about me playing hard-to-get.

"You've been ignoring me," James stated indifferently but I noticed his jaw clenching as he fiddled around with his wand.

"Not true," I mumbled, quickly changing the subject, "What are we doing on the fourth floor?"

James narrowed his eyes slightly and I knew he would only let me off the hook for now, "There is a mirror at the end of the hallway."

"So?" I pressed as we reached said object, startled slightly that I couldn't see myself in it due to the cloak. 'And here I was hoping to check my appearance,' I thought to myself, brushing a hand through my tangled hair strands, 'Marlene would kill me if she saw me right now.'

"This little mirror hides a way that has led us to a lot of adventures already," James announced gravely as he flicked his wand, causing the mirror to swing to the side and reveal a dark hole in the wall. I raised my eyebrows in surprise, "Does this-"

"Lead us to Hogsmeade? Yes," James confirmed, ducking out of the cloak and casting a silent 'Lumos'. He squinted in my direction before he pulled off the piece of cloth from my head, smiling. "Keep it on, it's gonna keep you warm." And with that he climbed up the secret passageway.

"You could still cast a Heating Charm," I said into the hole before I climbed it up as well, slightly weirded out by my visible hands with my invisible arms. James waited for me, already a couple of feet ahead. I looked back at the mirror. "What about the entrance? One of the Prefects might se- nevermind," I mumbled as he shut it with a swish of his wand.

"When did you learn to cast nonverbal spells?" I asked in wonder as we trudged through the way.

"What can I say? I'm just naturally talented at everything," James boasted unashamedly and I rolled my eyes at the over-confidence oozing from his every pore.

"Alright, Mr. Superwizard," I relented, "Where is this passage leading to exactly?"

"We are underground right now. The passageway will lead us out through a gully near the Three Broomsticks."

"We are going through a sewer tunnel?" I asked, looking down at my socks, "You do realise I don't even have shoes on."

"You do realise I'm a wizard, right?" James retaliated with a grin over his shoulder.

"That's questionable sometimes," I muttered, glad it was dark in the tunnel as my cheeks felt on fire. Finally, after about ten minutes of walking and occasionally dipping into the wastewater (disgusting) James directed the light of his wand towards a ladder. Climbing it up, I was greeted by the sight of snow, wind and the small huts in Hogsmeade.

"Wicked," I breathed, taking James' outstretched hand as he helped me up and took the cloak from me to reveal the rest of myself. I immediately started shivering violently, realising how warm the cloak must have kept me. James took off his robe this time, draping it around my shoulders. "You gonna look dumb to people when you walk around here in pyjamas," he explained before casting a Heating Charm.

I shot him a look, "Who was the one suggesting this out of nowhere?"

"Who was the one agreeing on this?" he asked back as he rolled his Invisibility Cloak into a ball and tugged it under his arm, "Now, come on. Let's get some Butterbeer."

I breathed a sigh of relief as soon as we entered the pub, the wind finally ceasing to smash my hair into my face every five seconds. One glance around showed me how empty this place could be in comparison to Hogsmeade weekends where you could hardly find one empty chair.

"James Potter," Madam Rosmerta, the owner of the pub, greeted us from behind the bar where she was doing some cleaning, "What on Merlin's grave are you doing here again at this time?"

"Madam Rosmerta," James greeted chivalrously as he led us over to her, "Just taking out my future girlfriend for the best Butterbeer worldwide."

"Future girlfriend?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow, trying not to blush at his wink.

"Best Butterbeer worldwide? Well, aren't you a charmer?" Madam Rosmerta commented, shooting a grin towards me as well, "Almost as bad as your other friend. Black, was it?"

"Sirius, yes," James laughed.

The woman shook her head as she took out two pewter tankards to fill them with her infamous butterbeer, "Over-confident, little boy. Too handsome for his own good."

"Sounds like him," I remarked, causing her lips to twitch in amusement.

"Oi that's my best friend you are talking about," James complained as he paid - to my embarrassment - for both of us since I had no money on me. He took the tankards with a thanks before turning to me again, "But you are right." I giggled at his statement before we went to take a seat at the windows, Madam Rosmerta shouting a "If you get caught, I had no idea you were here!" after us.

Settling down, I cupped my tankard with my hands as I glanced at the boy in front of me, suddenly nervous. It had been a while since we had been alone, I was almost not used to it anymore. But James being James knew exactly how to break the silence as he started chatting about how he found out about this passageway and the way he had managed to convince Madam Rosmerta to let them occasionally take a drink here with his friends.

He had begged.

"So, enough about that," he eventually ended though despite his constant talking I had a feeling I could listen to him forever. He had a way with his words and the excitement in his voice that could keep anyone interested in what he had to say. It was an admiring trait actually. I probably sounded like Professor Binn's whenever I talked. "Tell me what's been keeping you so busy that you actually dared to ignore me for so long?" he asked with a teasing tilt in his voice to indicate he wasn't being sirius.

I had a feeling he would confront me about it again, but I had hoped he wouldn't tonight. "Eh, you know. School stuff," I muttered, taking a sip of my drink to prolong my answer. When he still waited for more, I got a little defensive of my lie, "You know, some people have to actually study for their grades."

"Oh please," he waved me off, "You could pass every class with your eyes closed. You are just too scared."

"What makes you say that?" I asked with furrowed eyebrows.

James gave me a look, "Everyone knows you are smart, Cec. Everyone but you," he poked my forehead with a soft smile, "You just get crazy about exams. Like Evans."

I thought back on all the study sessions Lily and I had at the library or the Common Room right before the exams, frantically trying to get everything into our heads. "I guess..."

"It's not like you need to start this early. So, will you just stop studying too much and spend time with me again?" James asked, giving me his puppy look. I resisted the urge to immediately say yes, thinking back on what Marlene had taught me.

"Well..."

"Exams aren't due until a few months. Why would you need to study already?" he almost whined and I cringed at my own lie. Too be honest, I hadn't started studying outside of class besides the assignements we had to do. I was surprised he had actually believed that but then again, I had been spending a lot of time snoozing in the library to escape the onslaught of rumours.

"I guess, I can skip a few study sessions," I feigned a thoughtful look and he beamed, "Or you could just study with me." He deflated.

"Studying is boring though."

I was just glad he thought so, too.

"Not if we make it fun," I pointed out and he gave me a sour look, "You sound like Professor Flitwick," he stated, causing both of us to laugh. We spent the rest of the night talking and catching up on each other's life. We talked about the most irrelevant nonesense but also what had been going on outside of Hogwarts. He stated that his parents were both purebloods but he was still worried they were in danger because they refused to support the Dark Lord. My parents were both magical as well but my mother was Muggleborn, which made me worry for her safety even though she was mostly at work and St. Mungo's could be considered almost as safe as Hogwarts. We ended up trying to reassure the other and I was surprised how good he was at it, filling my heart with ease during the time we spent together as he switched back to a more lighter topic.

I realised how much I had missed these casual nights together and him...I had especially missed him. A lot. It was crazy how much a few months with him made me want to be around him all the time. I had been able to stay away the few weeks due to the exciting imagination of him chasing after me but now that I noticed what I had been missing this whole time I could curse myself for declining him everytime he suggested to hang out or do something together. In a way, what Marlene had taught me had worked against me; now, I was craving his presence more than ever.

"This was great," James sighed, stretching his arms over his head in content as we walked down a hallway to the entrance of the Gryffindor Tower, daringly without a cloak. It was almost 7 am, the others would be starting to wake up. I couldn't believe we had managed to stay up a whole night simply talking.

"Yeah," I agreed, smiling at him as we went through the portrait hole and stopping in front of it. The Common Room was still empty, the fireplace burning with new vigor. The woods must have been replaced sometime over night. I wondered briefly if the Elves were also responsible for that.

"I missed this. Let's do this again...sooner?" James asked almost insecurely and I nodded immediately this time, not wanting to play Marlene's way again. This night showed me that I had just been miserable the past weeks without him.

Looking up at him I opened my mouth to bid him goodnight but his intent gaze made me shut it back tonelessly. His eyes were burning with new vigor just like the fireplace, hazel eyes flickering with gold as he glanced slightly over my shoulder before he drew close, closer than under the Invisibilty Cloak and took my hands in his. I stook stockstill as he leaned down, his forehead grazing mine. "Can I kiss you?" he whispered and hadn't I been so close I probably wouldn't have heard him.

My throat went dry and I barely managed a nod before he placed his lips on mine, blissfully unaware of a pair of green eyes.

Chapter Eight

[writingsonawall]

Falling, fallen chapter 3

Pairings: Spencer Reid x OFC

Story summary:  Spencer randomly meets Leah at the library and their first encounter was supposed to be just that; a random one-time occurance. When an unsub lands Spencer in the very same hospital she works at, she feels obligated to take care of him. But what happens when his team notices her everlooming presence and theorises that perhaps she could be the unsub they’re looking for?

Chapter summary: The BAU start developing a profile which leads them to investigate Leah. 

Warnings: Recalling a violent incident, bit of blood but not too bad. 

Wordcount: 12,6 k

A/N: This chapter is written from Emily’s POV just to get a different perspective on the story. 

Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7,

Emily shot Reid a knowing look as she stepped through the door before turning her head slightly to watch the nurse shuffle down the corridor. She was pretty, that much was for certain and she knew Reid thought so, too. She took a seat by his bed, dropping the bag to the floor. She had just gotten back from his apartment, finally having had the time to collect the things he’d asked for earlier that same morning. She decided not to comment on the nurse any further as the three of them went back to work, trying to piece together a profile with the mess of details they had. 

“What if we’re looking for two unsubs?” The first break came about an hour after Emily had returned to Reid’s room and they all peaked up at Rossi’s suggestion. 

“What makes you say that?” Morgan’s voice sounded through Garcia’s phone now and Emily wondered the same thing. 

“Look at the bruisings around Anita Thorne’s throat. That’s pretty large hands, don’t you think? Probably from a man. But the stabwounds on Gomez’ body were hesitant and shallow, not a lot of force behind them,” Rossi explained his thinking and Emily followed easily while she flipped through her files. 

“So, you’re thinking whoever killed Gomez was a woman?” J.J. spoke up this time. Morgan didn’t even give Rossi time to answer.

“But the stabbing was all over the place and brutal. It was overkill. Do you really think a woman would be capable of doing that?” 

“Maybe our unsub was hesitant about killing Gomez? Not knowing what to do or how to do it correctly? Maybe he was trying to establish a MO?” Reid spoke up now and his words surprised Emily. Anita Thorne had been killed a week and half before Gomez, so if the unsub was the same person then he was definitely accustomed to killing. It made no sense for him to brutally strangle Thorne, then hesitate when it came to Gomez. Unless there was a connection between Gomez and the unsub which they hadn’t made yet. That seemed unlikely since there was no sign of the unsub’s remorse anywhere on the body or at the crimescene. It didn’t feel personal. 

Emily voiced her thoughts and the team agreed with her. She got a little concerned about Reid. He seemed to have gotten confused by such a simple thing as the timelines of the different victims. That was the kind of mistake Reid would never do. She was afraid he wasn’t in the right headspace to be working this case, but she didn’t speak her concern just yet. 

“Typically in a killer-duo one part to be more dominant and the other more submissive. We shouldn’t assume that the female is the submissive one just because she’s the weaker sex. In fact we should assume the opposite, especially if we still regard our previous theory that at least one of them has some sort of medicaltraining. Healthcare is widely dominated by females after all,” Reid rambled on in his usual manner, but something still seemed… Off about him. Like he was trying to hide his privous slip up. 

“So, you think we’re looking for a man and woman, and that the woman is the dominant person here?” Rossi asked. 

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time. In traditional gender roles the man is depicted as the dominant type, when it in reality is the female who holds all the power. She controlls access to sex, decides what’s for dinner, has the most influence over the kids… Even though men typically are physically stronger than women, it’s still the women who control them, so I wouldn’t say it’s odd,” Reid explained further and by the way he was fiddling in the bed Emily could tell he had a lot more to say on the matter. 

“Well, it fits,” J.J. butted in. “If the woman is dominant we can only assume she decides who gets to live and who doesn’t.” 

“But how does she decide that?” Emily asked out loud. 

“Garcia’s already looked through all the workers in both hospitals and no one crossrefranses,” Morgan interjected. 

“I sure have, Sweetcheeks,” Garcia spoke up. 

“There’s got to be something here that we’re missing,” Morgan mumbled. 

“Garcia, start off by looking into hospitalemployees who might match our profile who’ve had contact with more than one of our victims. The dominant would be meticulous, so look for anyone with a clean record, we can also assume she’s reserved with few sosial contacts. We still don’t know how she decides who dies so look for anyone who stands out, employees who pay close attention to the victims, who check on them more than necessary, anything that screams unnatural behavior.” Hotch said and at that last bit Garcia’s fingers paused over the keyboard. Emily knew what she was thinking, because she was thinking the exact same thing. 

“Does that mean employees who’s worked with Reid as well?” Garcia sounded guilty as she spoke and Emily noted that she gave Reid an apologetic look. 

“What have you got Garcia?” Hotch’s answer fell to deaf ears because Reid lashed out. 

“I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong!” He all but yelled. 

“Spence!” J.J. sounded concerned, but she too was ignored. 

“She didn’t do this. I know her and she didn’t do this.” Emily almost felt bad for him. The nurse had seemed like a sweet girl and either she’d played him like a fool or they were wrongfully accusing her of being a killer. There was no way she’d come good out of this one. 

“Hold on! Who are we talking about?” Morgan asked at the same time as someone, Emily couldn’t tell who, asked “What do you mean you know her?” It was silent after that, this kind of silence that was just waiting for someone to break it. Emily realized then that she was staring blankly at Reid, still not used to him lashing out like that. 

“I met her last night at the library,” Reid finally said after a reluctant sigh. That made Emily’s eyes go wide. Why hadn’t he said something before? “And I know what you’re all thinking, but it wasn’t her. She left way before I was shot. Garcia can probably verify that with an easy search, she got to work before 10 P.M. I know how bad that looks, but I’m telling you it’s not her. Hotch…” Reid’s voice was almost pleading towards the end and now Emily felt really bad for him. He wanted so desperately to believe it wasn’t her that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him. Even though Emily hadn’t spent that much time at the hospital she had reacted to the nurse, feeling like there was something... off about her. She hadn’t even thought that the young woman might be the unsub, but when she thought it now; it just fit. 

“What’s her name?” Hotch asked, his tone of voice unreadable. Emily wondered what he was thinking. 

“Leah Clarewater,” Reid sighed, probably knowing he’d lost the battle. If he hadn’t said anything, Garcia would’ve found out anyway.

“Alright. Garcia, run her and see what pops up.” Hotch almost didn’t have the time to speak because Reid interrupted him. 

“Get out,” He spoke, his voice quiet but his words were harsh. 

“Reid,” Emily reached forward to lay a hand on his arm but he shied away from her. 

“I said, get out. I’m not even on this case and I’m telling you it’s not her, but no one’s listening. I don’t want to hear anymore, so please… just get out.” He sounded almost completely broken, as if his whole life had just been flipped upsidedown and it made Emily frown. 

“Garcia, Prentiss… You heard him.” Hotch’s voice was clear and Garcia sat there frozen for a second before quickly gathering her stuff and rising from her chair. 

“Reid,” Emily tried again. 

“What, Emily?” He snapped at her. “I’m telling you it’s not her, and it’s not just something I want to believe; it’s something I know for a fact. And when you eventually realize that you’re all wrong I am the one who’s gonna have to look her in the eyes and live with that guilt. So no, I don’t want to hear what you find out when you do a search on her, because it’s not my place to know unless she tells me herself.” He was almost panting with rage when he finished his rambling and the room once more fell in an awkward silence so thick it could practically be cut through with a knife. His words were laced with venom and she then realized that this wasn’t all about the nurse. Most it was, sure, but he was obviously still not over everything that happened with Emily and Doyle. She had felt horrible about lying to him and the rest of the team like that, but she had thought they had all worked through it by now. Reid obviously hadn’t, because that lash out was a whole lot of unresolved tension. 

Emily escorted Garcia out of the room without another word. They found a secluded area in the waitingroom outside of the ICU and Garcia seemed a little reluctant about continuing.

“Sir. I must say that this doesn’t feel right,” she mumbled, the rest of the team still on the phone even though they had gone silent after Reid’s blow up. 

“I know, Garcia, but just see what you can find out,” Hotch said. 

“Is someone gonna tell me who we’re talking about now?” Morgan asked and that made Emily smile. Of course he hadn't picked up on who they were talking about yet. He was a damn good agent, but sometimes he could be slow. 

“The nurse who came to get us when Reid woke up this morning,” Emily replied, leaning a little closer to her phone. 

“Oh, the ho-” Morgan stopped himself before he could finish his sentence. Emily tried to hide her snicker because she knew he was about to say ‘hot one’, but that would be highly inappropriate. 

“She seemed like a good kid,” Rossi interjected. 

“Oh, but she’s anything but!” Garcia finally spoke up again. This was the first time Emily felt a little disgusted by how excited she sounded. She knew that Garcia couldn’t always help it. She was stuck in her office all day while the rest of the team were out in the field. She loved having things to do and whenever she found something that could help, she always took that win personally. Still, this time Emily couldn’t quite feel it. Reid obviously had a thing for this girl; attraction, admiration or whatever it was… And now Garica might have found something to shatter his precious fantasy of the girl. 

“What have you got?” Hotch asked. 

“Well… Leah Singer Clarewater, born and raised in The Bronx, New York. Apparently she ran in a bad crowd in her younger years. Several of her friends were picked up on drugcharges in high school. She doesn’t really have a record herself, but we can only assume she was just as bad as her friends since, you know, they were friends… Anyway, when she was eighteen her eight year old brother disappeared without a trace and he was never found. Leah was apparently with him when it happened. Police investigated, but never found out what happened. Two years later her mother died of, oh, let’s see… Cancer and after that it seems that she and her father drifted off. I can’t see that they have any contact now and she doesn’t seem to have many friends. No social media, I mean zip zero, no Facebook, Twitter, not even YouTube. Nada. She’s basically a loner.” 

“That does fit the profile,” J.J. mumbled. Emily agreed. And the story about family could’ve been a stressor. 

“Look, guys… We have to be absolutely certain about this,” Morgan spoke up, probably feeling just what Emily was. 

“Well, she has a good medical education,” Garcia said. “I mean, like really good. She’s taken a lot of extra courses and addons to her Bachelor of Science in Nursing. She’d basically just need a few hours of mandatory training and she’d be certified as a paramedic.” 

“So, she has a lot of medical knowledge?” Rossi asked. 

“That she sure does,” Garcia nodded as she spoke, even though it was just Emily there to see her. “And- Oh! Oh…” Garcia trailed off, a sad look crossing her features. Emily wondered what she had just found out. 

“What is it, Garcia?” Hotch asked. 

“She has a registered .45,” she whispered. Reid, and the other victims, had been shot with a .45. Oh, how Emily hated this. She had almost hoped for Reid’s sake that they had just jumped to conclusions and that they wouldn’t find anything on her. Now everything was pointing towards her. 

“That’s more than enough for a probable cause,” Hotch sighed into the phone, sounding just as defeated as Emily felt. “Morgan and J.J., go to her address. Rossi, I want you back at the hospital. We still don’t know if she is or who she might be working with. If she knows we’re onto her, she might come after Reid. Until we find her and question her, I don’t want Reid to be left unattended. Stand outside of his room if he doesn’t want visitors, but no one comes into that room without anyone of us knowing what happens. And I mean no one, no nurses, doctors, not even the janitor or cleaning crew. Got it?” Hotch’s message was clear and everyone agreed verbally before ending the call. Emily decided to let Garica work for a little bit and went back to Reid’s room. She knocked softly on the door before opening it. Reid met her eyes with a fierceness in his. 

“Look,” she said, closing the door behind her and leaning against it. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear and I’ll spare you the details… But this looks bad for her. We don’t know who she might be working with, so Hotch is adamant that we don’t leave you unattended. You may not like it and that’s fine. If you wanna be alone, then that’s fine too, I’ll just stay outside the door.” Emily had decided to just be frank with him. “In the mean time, do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” She asked, still not able to shake the tension between them. 

“You’re still wrong about her.” Reid’s reply left no room for argument on that subject. 

“I mean about whatever vendetta you have against me,” she clarified. Reid narrowed his eyes at her. 

“No offense, Emily, but not everything is about you. On the contrary to popular belief I don’t carry grudges. My problem isn’t with you personally, it’s with all of you. I tell you that it’s not her, and you don’t believe me. I know her and my word, my credibility still means nothing to you.” He was getting agitated and she finally understood why. This wasn’t just about protecting the nurse, it was also about the team not trusting his judgement. Emily sighed. 

“You’ve known her for how long? Less than a day? What if you’re wrong, Reid? Just what if?” 

“I’m not.” His reply came not even a heartbeat later and his voice was certain. It was still too similar to a childish game, him not wanting to admit he might be wrong. 

“Okay, I’ll bite… Say you’re right, there’s still things you don’t know about her. She’s not this amazing person you think she is. She’s got baggage, possibly more than you can imagine. She’s trouble, Reid, whether she’s the unsub or not.” Emily had no idea how much Reid knew about her, but she somehow figured out that if he knew everything then he would be more logical about this. 

“She’s the best person I’ve met,” Reid said and she looked at him for a moment. Did he really mean that? Did she really have him so tightly twisted around her finger that he believed his own words to be the truth? By the confident look on his face, she guessed on yes to both questions. “But you’re right about one thing; I do want to be alone. Please, close the door behind you.” That was a clear sign that this discussion was over. Emily decided not to say anything else as she slipped out of the room. 

She could only begin to imagine what Reid was going through. Emily didn’t have any relatives she spoke to, no friends outside of work. Her colleagues were her family, she loved them all dearly. If any of them got implicated for murder she probably would have lost her shit as well. Still, that got her to wonder what was going on between Reid and that nurse. She had seemed professional enough the few times she’d seen her, except for the time she’d caught her hanging out in Reid’s room for the better part of half an hour before she went home. What had that been about? Reid obviously didn’t know her that well, seeing as he claimed to have met her the night before. Maybe he felt attracted to her; she was pretty after all. But then again she wouldn’t take Reid for the guy to fall head over heels for a woman he’d barely met. This couldn’t possibly be love, she must have found a way to manipulate him. 

“How’s the kid?” Rossi greeted Emily as he walked down the corridor twenty minutes later. Emily sighed heavily as he came to a stop next to her. 

“Understandably upset,” she told him with a small shrug. “He’s… He’s actually pretty mad,” she said. 

“He’ll get over it,” Rossi tried to assure her, but she could only shake her head. 

“I’m afraid this could be a breakingpoint for him. No matter what happens from now on, Reid loses. Either this girl is a killer who’s managed to wrap him around her finger or she’s not… And I’m not sure which of them is worse,” she sighed as she spoke, not knowing how to feel about all of this. 

“You don’t think it’s her?” Rossi asked, his voice slow as if he was being careful with what he said. 

“It all fits,” Emily nodded. “But there’s some questions that need answers. This case is just all over the place and when one of our own is involved it just makes it… harder, you know?” She glanced up at the older man, finding him looking back with sympathetic eyes. 

“Now you know how we felt last time you were involved.” He gave her a sad smile then and it made Emily’s stomach drop. She had realized that the whole thing with Doyle had been hard on the team, but that it had felt like this? 

“I just hope Reid’s gonna be okay,” she mumbled. 

“He’s a smart kid. He’ll pull through.” Rossi bumped his shoulder into hers, a small sign of comfort. Emily couldn’t exactly say that it helped, but she appreciated the gesture all the same. Just then her phone started blaring and she pulled it out of her pocket, noticing that it was Hotch. 

“I’ve got Rossi here with me,” she spoke up after accepting the call. 

“Morgan and J.J. came up empty-handed,” Hotch informed them, getting right to business. “They’re already headed back to the hospital. We can only assume that she didn’t leave at all or that she’s waiting for a chance to get to Reid. I’ve already called in reinforcement to guard his room, but in the meantime have Garcia on watchout. I want the two of you to do a sweep of the hospital, try to see if you can locate her. We have a warrant out for her arrest and I’m bringing it over as we speak,” he told them and that made Emily’s stomach tighten just a little more. They had enough probable cause to arrest her now. Before they could even agree to his orders he hung up the phone. Emily sighed, dropping the phone into her pocket again. She leaned forward a little, putting her hands on her knees as she tried to make sense of it all. She wasn’t in doubt that they had the right person, but something still felt… off. She couldn’t tell if it was the profile or just Reid’s feelings involved. 

“Do you need a minute?” Rossi asked, his voice hushed next to her. 

“Yeah, probably,” she nodded as a hand was placed on her hunched over back. 

“I’ll go get Garcia,” he informed her before he disappeared down the corridor. Emily took a few minutes to collect her thoughts, push all doubt so far into the back of her mind that it couldn’t possibly bother her anymore. If she started doubting, she’d make mistakes and mistakes couldn’t be tolerated, especially not on a case involving one of her own. She owed it up to Reid to make this go as smoothly as possible. 

Rossi returned with Garcia who they placed on a chair outside of Reid’s room. They didn’t dare ask him if she could sit in his room with him, so for right now they’d just have to make it work that way. Rossi and Emily started by talking to the nurse who was on call, simply asking if she happened to know when the unsub was coming back to work. She informed them that she wasn’t scheduled to work until the eveningshift the next day, and that she was supposed to work at the post operative unit instead of the ICU. Emily asked if that was normal, to work at two different units, to which the nurse only laughed saying something along the lines of “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get a permanent full-time position as a nurse? Most of us work in two different units, at least.” 

They went down to the post operative unit next, just to make sure she hadn’t clocked in almost 24 hours earlier than when her shift started. They came up empty there as well. For the next fifteen minutes they did a quick search of three other units, asking different personnel if they’d seen her. Most people had no idea who she even was, which didn’t surprise Emily. It was a big hospital after all. 

“Hang on a second.” Emily stopped Rossi’s pace as she glanced over at the doctor who was standing and talking to the officeworker by the lobby. She could vaguely remember seeing the unsub talk to him earlier that morning by the nursingstation in the ICU. The two had seemed close, as if they were friends or close colleagues at the very least. 

“Excuse me.” Rossi must have noticed her train of thoughts because he approached the man. “Dr. Ruiz,” Rossi said once he was close enough to read the print of his lapcoat. “I’m Agent Rossi, this is my partner SSA Prentiss.” Rossi pulled out his badge and showed it to the man. 

“We’re looking for Leah Clarewater, but we’re having a hard time locating her. Have you seen her?” Emily asked. She was surprised by the doctor’s reaction. More times than not, people would get nervous or upset when they came asking about friends and family. This man seemed… happy? Relieved? 

“Well, that was quickly!” He exclaimed. “She’s down in the ER. I’m headed that way myself, so I can walk you down,” he told them. Emily gave Rossi a look, silently asking if he was noticing the strangeness as well. He only shrugged, so they followed the doctor. 

“I saw you this morning. Have you been on call for long?” Emily found herself asking as they walked down a corridor. 

“It was chaos here last night, masscollision on the highway. I got called in as an extra set of hands. I usually work in post op. but when it’s all hands on deck, it’s… Well, all hands on deck,” he laughed. 

“Did Leah get called in as well?” Rossi asked as they reached the elevator. 

“Yeah,” he told them, pressing the button which said -1. “Typically we don’t call in nurses, but Leah has a lot of extra training and she’s really good at what she does. Always handy to have around, you know?” 

“She works in the post operative unit as well. Have you known her for long?” Emily asked as they stepped out of the elevator. Dr. Ruiz nodded. 

“Yeah… For the good part… Three years, is it, now? Wow, how time flies. She’s one of the best I’ve ever seen, to be honest. Cares a lot about her patients, you know? And she’s really good at her job so she’s a thrill to be working with,” he told them. He clearly thought highly of her, just like Reid. This woman had managed to fool not only one, but two doctors. She almost deserved a medal for that. 

“Good evening, Dr. Ruiz!” A petite blonde greeted as they made it to the ER. “Are you gonna be working here today?” 

“Yeah, no… Not today, Cindy. I’m just looking for Leah, is she still here?” The doctor asked. Emily stood beside Rossi a few steps away from them, just watching the interaction. 

“Yeah, she’s down there,” Cindy answered, pointing towards the end of the giant room where a shutter had been closed all the way. “She still refuses to go up to neuro, though. Dr. Charles insisted, but she refuses,” the nurse huffed a little, as if she was annoyed. What she said made Emily’s eyebrows shoot up. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Dr. Ruiz said and Emily noted the awardwinning smile he gave the nurse. He then turned towards herself and Rossi. “I’ll just need to check some files and then I’ll be over. You can talk to her if you want,” he informed them before walking over to the nursestation in the middle of the room. Emily shrugged at Rossi and started walking towards where the nurse had pointed earlier. She dragged the curtains open, revealing the blonde woman who was sitting at the end of the bed, feet dangling back and forth, head buried in her hands and what looked to be an icepack pressed to her forehead. 

“Leah Singer Clarewater?” Emily asked, a little uncertain about what exactly was going on. The woman slowly lifted her head, looking up at the agents. She blinked a couple of times, even the movements of her eyelids slow and sluggish and now that Emily could see her face she got even more confused. Her nose was swollen and obviously broken by the way it was leaning towards the right. She had cottonballs sticking out of each nostril, the tips of them stained with blood. She was sporting a massive bruise on her left cheek, the skin there already turned a deep purple which matched bruising around her eyes. She also had a deep gash across her forehead which had a few badges over it to keep it shut. Her throat looked red and Emily could see the indications of handprints developing there. She looked like hell, to say the least. 

“You’re… uhm, Dr. Reid’s friends,” she finally spoke up. Her voice sounded hoarse and nasal at the same time. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly for a few seconds, as if the light was hurting, before opening them. She seemed to have a hard time focusing on the people in front of her. 

“We are,” Rossi simply stated, probably as confused as Emily was. He glanced at her, and Emily could only shake her head because the sight in front of her was not what she had expected to find.  

“Look,” the nurse said slowly. “I’m off duty right now, and as you can see I’m in no shape to get back to work at the moment. Whatever he needs, there’s other nurses on call now who can help him.” Her voice was still slightly slurred as she spoke, as if she was drugged down or drunk. Emily assumed they had given her a cocktail of drugs for whatever pain she was in. 

“Actually, we wanted to talk to you,” Emily pursed her lips together, not knowing how to handle the situation. This woman was still a suspect, but now might not be the best time to have this conversation. They still had a warrant for her arrest, but they couldn’t possibly arrest her right now when she looked like that. There was a lot of information missing here. 

“You were with Reid the other night?” Rossi spoke up and that seemed to confuse her. Her eyes were even narrowed than they had been a second ago. 

“Oh, right… Right, at the library,” she said as the memories seemed to come back to her. Emily wasn’t a doctor, but she could clearly tell that this woman was seriously concussed. She was in no condition to be having this conversation. 

“We just want the stories straight, that’s all,” Emily said, leaving out the part of them thinking she was actually a serial killer. “But we can talk to you later if you’re not up for it right now,” she assured her. 

“Later might be a good time,” Dr. Ruiz spoke up, startling Emily a little. She hadn’t even noticed him approaching. “Leah, we’re taking you up to neuro.” 

“No, I’m fine,” she waved her hand dismissively and dropped the ice pack. She seemed to have sobered up a little bit since Emily and Rossi had walked in. “I just wanna go home, but I can talk now. Is this gonna take long?” She asked, pushing the doctors hands away as he tried to touch her. 

“Leah, seriously,” The doctor tried to make her stay still, but she pushed him off yet again. 

“Ruiz, I’m fine,” She jumped off from the bed, leaning down, probably to try to get her bag which was laying on the floor, and then collapsed forward. Emily was about to rush forward on instinct, but the doctor just barely managed to grab a hold of her. She still ended up sprawled out on the floor, but Dr. Ruiz had managed to lighten the fall so she didn’t smack right down. 

“Can you give me some space, please?” The doctor asked looking up at Emily and Rossi. He was sitting on his knees besides Clarewater, one hand supporting the back of her head while the other one was pressed against her chest. Rossi and Emily immediately took a step back. They couldn’t do anything but stand there and watch as he pulled a small flashlight out if coat, forcing one of the nurse’s eyes open to check the reflexes. 

“Fuck me, that’s bright!” She groaned, clearly not unconscious. She battled his hand away. 

“Yeah, you’re totally fine.” Emily could almost hear him roll his eyes at her. He was so done with her bullshit, and in any other situation the two of them might have been adorable. He obviously cared about her, even though she probably annoyed him at times. 

“It’s just a BP-drop,” the nurse scoffed. “Is it me or you who’s the doctor here?” 

“It’s me, and that’s why you’re going up to neuro.” His voice was stern even as he helped her up on her feet. He gently sat her down on the bed, pushing on her shoulders until she reluctantly laid down. She made small noises of discontent all the time until she closed her eyes against the blinding overheadlight. “Leah, I’ll strap you to the bed if I have to. I have two federal agents here to back me up. We’re taking that trip to neuro whether you like it or not. Doctor’s orders.” That left no room for argument and Emily felt a small smile tug on the corner of her lips, despite the seriousness of the situation. They were like a pair of siblings or an old married couple fighting. 

“Is it okay if one of us tags along so we can talk to her once she’s checked out?” Rossi asked once the scene in front of them calmed down. 

“Be my guest,” the doctor said, waving another man forward, probably a porter. He picked up the bag from the floor and placed it on Clarewater’s stomach. He unlocked the breaks from the bed and the other man stepped forward, taking his place on the other side. “neuro’s a few floors up and I’ve already called ahead for a CT and MRI, so it might take some time. But if you wanna stick around, then that should be alright.” He informed them as the two men started pushing the bed forward. 

“You go. I’ll call Hotch and tell him what’s happened,” Rossi told Emily who only nodded and moved forward to follow the moving bed down the corridors. She decided to stay silent as they traveled around the hospital. She waited outside of the room where the CT was placed, taking a seat in the chair. When the suspect, and yes she wanted to use the word suspect now since she had no idea how to read the situation anymore, was placed safely in the machine the doctor stepped out again. Emily offered him a smile as he took a seat next to her. 

“Is she gonna be okay?” Emily asked. 

“Leah? Yeah, sure,” Dr. Ruiz laughed. “She’s gotten a few blows to the head, so we’re just ruling out serious brain trauma. It’s probably just a bad concussion, but we have to make sure it’s not something more, you know?” 

“I hope it’s not anything worse,” Emily offered her concern.

“Well, it’s Leah so she’ll be fine. She always is,” Dr. Ruiz shrugged. “Sorry you had to see that back there. She’s a really nice girl, but she can be stubborn. She’s this kind of person who always gives 110 percent, you know? I constantly have to remind her to take breaks, because she refuses. Says she hates breaks because she feels like she’s useless when she’s not doing anything. I always try to sneak some treats into her pockets, like proteinbars or something, because I know if I don’t then she’ll be running on adrenaline and coffee the entire day.” 

“She seems invested in her work then,” Emily hummed. “You seem to really care about her.” She glanced up at him to see his reaction. He just smiled fondly. 

“She’s the best, honestly. She’s kinda like my workwife,” he laughed. 

“Oh, really?” Emily couldn’t help but chuckle herself. 

“Yeah, whenever we work together things just flow so smoothly, you know what I’m talking about? I mean, she annoys me to death sometimes… mostly because she refuses to look out for herself, but she’s damn good at her job. And she’s a lot of fun to be around and we work really well together. The others down at post op. call us ‘dream team’ because of that,” he laughed again. 

“Well, I can only imagine.” Emily felt a little bad about hearing him talk so highly of her when she was a suspect in a murderinvestigation. “So, you know her well then?” 

“Not as well as I’d like to,” he muttered, a little sadness lacing his tone now. “I think she buries herself in work. I mean, we were both supposed to be on the morning shift for today, but I switched things around so I could get the eveningshift instead since I had to work the night. Leah is the kind of person who prefers to work doubles. I do that occasionally, too and let me tell you this; it drains you. I think she thrives on it, the more work she has to do, the more content she is, you know? But I think it takes a toll on her social life.” He cocked his head to the side with a little shrug. Emily nodded her head slowly to his words. She had nothing to say to that, because she didn’t know what to say. 

“Do you know what happened to her?” She decided to ask instead, wondering what happened in order to give Leah those not so lovely bruises. She had her theories, but right now she had little to nothing to go on. 

“No one really knows,” Dr. Ruiz shrugged. “Another employee was headed home and found her by her car in the garage. From what I heard she was unconscious and they brought her up to the ER to get checked out. I haven’t really had the chance to talk to her yet. I was headed down to see her when I ran into you guys.” 

“Okay,” Emily nodded along and the doctor stood up from his seat. He stuffed his hands into his pockets. 

“Are you a colleague of that federal agent who was admitted last night?” He asked. Emily nodded. 

“Yes, and we’re investigating the case. That’s why we want to talk to your colleague, get the full picture,” she told him, leaving out the parts he didn’t need to know. 

“Do you think the same person who shot your agent came after Leah?” He asked with a frown on his face. That thought had just crossed Emily’s mind as well, but she still couldn’t be sure. Perhaps the other unsub had lashed out on her. Dominant and submissive partnerships like that hardly ever worked out, especially if the dominant didn’t include the submissive in the whole process. Or if the submissive felt too subjected. 

“That’s what we’re here to find out.” Emily offered him her best tight lipped smile. 

“You know… We worked on him when he was rushed in, before he went into surgery. She probably doesn’t want to admit it, but she was pretty shaken up about it,” he told her. This time it was Emily’s turn to frown. 

“Shaken up how?” She asked. This was news to her. 

“You know, just upset I guess,” he tried to explain, but it didn’t bring any clarity. He must have noticed that Emily needed more because he continued. “Leah… she beats herself up over… pretty much anything. I mean, if she loses a patient on her watch she takes that personally, even though it’s not her fault or responsibility. That’s her only flaw, I guess. She cares so much, too much sometimes. And when stuff like this happens, the wheels keep turning. I guess she blames herself? For not being there. She said stuff like if she hadn’t got called in then maybe she would’ve left at the same time as your agent, and maybe he wouldn’t have gotten shot. I tried to tell her to forget about it, but I guess some things you just can’t leave alone,” he shrugged his shoulders. Emily could only offer him a sad smile. She understood it a little more. If this was the kind of person Clarewater made everyone believe she was then it wasn’t weird that she had Reid fooled. But the more she thought about it, the more it made her doubt that maybe this woman wasn’t putting on an act after all. But she couldn’t go there just yet. They still needed to see this through before they could even concidder dropping her as a suspect.

The doctor bid his farewell after that, telling her he had to get back to work. She offered her gratitude before he left, to which he simply replied to with a smile. As Emily waited for their suspect to be done with her check up, she called up Garcia, gave her a heads up about what was going on and told her to see if there was any surveillance by the employee parking. If Clarewater had been attacked there then maybe the cameras had captured her assailant on video. She was just about to call Hotch to let him know as well when she spotted him at the end of the hall. Morgan and J.J. were at his side so she waved them over. 

“Dave told us what happened,” Hotch said as he approached. “Where is she?” 

“They’re doing a few tests to rule out braininjury,” Emily said as she nodded her head towards the closed door. “She looked pretty beat up so I think it’s gonna take a while until we get to interview her.” 

“Garcia just texted me and said she was attacked by her car?” Hotch asked and Emily nodded. 

“That’s where she was found,” she confirmed. “Listen, Hotch… I just gotta say… there’s something off about all of this.” 

“Yeah, I feel it too.” J.J. said. 

“Everyone I’ve talked to so far today says she’s a good girl, has her traumas, sure, but the way they describe her… I just don’t think she’s the one we’re after.” Emily felt the need to be honest with her coworkers. There were times when they’d uprehend the wrong suspect or they had their profile all wrong, and no one liked those moments. But they still needed to play this right. “Could we have made a rushed decision here?” They all looked at Hotch to hear what he had to say. He looked a little uncertain as if he too had no idea what right move was. 

“Morgan, I want you and Prentiss to head down to the garage. See if there’s anything there that might help us. J.J., I want you to check on Reid, see if Garcia might need a break. I’m taking Dave with me to the coroner’s. They’ve just re-exhumed Anthony Garland’s body to see if they can determine the cause of death. It appears it might take some time for Leah Clarewater to be ready to talk, but when she is, I want you to do it, Prentiss. You’ve talked to her coworkers, see if there’s anything that doesn’t add up with their stories versus hers. Take the garage first, though. I’ll let the doctors know we want to talk to her before she gets discharged.” Hotch’s message was clear and they all nodded their agreement. 

Emily followed Morgan to the parkingstructure next to the hospital. When they got there local authorities and CSI were already on scene. Wow, these people worked fast. They flashed their badge and gave the unit chief a runthrough of why they were there. The floor which Clarewater’s car was parked on was surprisingly empty so it wasn’t strange that no one had seen what had gone down. Including Clarewater’s Emily could spot about fifteen cars when there was probably space for closer to a hundred. 

“We think she was assaulted over here,” the unit chief said, pointing to the ground next to the driver’s side of the car. “We think the suspect came up behind her, smashed her head into the car a couple of times before throwing her to the ground,” he informed them and that seemed to be a pretty adequate guess. There was a dent on the edge by the roof of her car and some traces of blood. On the ground there were scuffmarks and a few smaller pools of blood. 

“Sir.?” A voice from the other side of the car called their attention. “Found it in the glovecompartment.” The man who spoke was standing in the space between the open passangerdoor and the car itself. He had a gun hanging from the tips of his glovecovered fingers. 

“What caliber is that?” Emily asked. 

“It appears to be .45,” the man told her. Emily turned to look at Morgan. 

“Our missing gun,” he nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “Chief, we have a murderinvestigation going on. Can you rush a ballisticstest on that gun to see if it matches?” 

“Sure can do,” he told them. “But that gun’s probably the victim’s, though, since it was found in her car.” 

“We’re aware,” Emily countered back, not offering any more information. He gave her a strange look, but didn’t say anything else on the matter. There wasn’t really much to do around the crime-scene, so Emily and Morgan decided not to hover for very long. They’d seen what they needed to and until they’d get the results from the various tests they had little to go on. They stopped by the cafeteria on their way, both in desperate need of fuel. They had been running different errands since the morning and Emily hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. They used half an hour or so for their break, briefing the rest of their team on their findings while eating. 

“Do you think it was that nurse?” Morgan asked once they finally had some peace and quiet, even with noise of other people around them. 

“Do you?” Emily countered back. She was still a little reluctant about sharing her thoughts. 

“I mean, part of me wants to just so we have the right suspect. If it’s not her, then we’re not making any headway,” he shrugged. “But I have this… feeling, like something isn’t adding up.” 

“It never really adds up, though,” Emily said. It was true, even when they were 100% certain they’d caught the right guy, there was always a minor detail or two which didn’t make sense to them. It usually always made sense to the unsub, but their logic wasn’t always rational. 

“True, but still.” Morgan huffed before taking a sip of his coffee. 

“I don’t think it’s her either,” Emily finally said, offering some sort of comfort in telling him he wasn’t the only one who experienced doubt in that moment. “She could be really manipulative with the people around her, but that doctor I talked to earlier… He said that she’d been really worried about Reid. And you can’t fake concern like that.”

“She could be worried about getting caught,” Morgan countered. This conversation really wasn’t going anywhere. They were just throwing out suggestions and the other one shooting them down. It wasn’t because none of them were right or wrong, it was just because none of them really had any idea if Clarewater was the unsub or not. And when they didn’t know for certain, no suggestion was right nor wrong. It was kind of like Schrodinger’s cat which Reid had once told her about. 

“I just feel bad for Reid,” she mumbled, followed by a sigh. 

“He’ll live,” Morgan shrugged nonchalantly, even though she knew he was just as concerned. “It’s Reid, he’ll pull through.” 

“I sure hope so,” Emily said, staring at a blank spot over Morgan’s head as she absentmindly started picking at her cuticles. 

“Hey, stop that now!” He scolded at her. “You’ll talk to her later and then you’ll know for sure. I trust your instinct. You can get the vibe whether a person is good or bad within a five minute conversation. If you think she’s the one, then she’s probably the one. If you don’t think she’s the one, then she’s probably not the one. Okay? Easy as that.” He put his hand on top of hers and she was grateful for the small gesture. It did sound awfully easy when he put it like that. 

“Okay.” She nodded, offering him a smile to tell him she was good. “They haven’t called yet, so do you wanna head up and check on Reid?” Morgan’s smile brightened at that and he agreed. They put their mostly empty trays of food away, but grabbed their still full coffeecups on the way. When they got back to the ICU Emily noted that Anderson, another federal agent, had arrived and stood stationed outside of Reid’s room. They both greeted him before opening the door and walking inside. Through the window Emily had seen that both J.J. and Garcia were sitting by Reid’s bed so she assumed he had calmed down from his previous lash out. 

“How you doing, kid?” Morgan asked. 

“Fine,” Reid’s reply was short and simple. He probably still wasn’t in the mood for talking. 

“He doesn’t want any updates on the nurse,” J.J. spoke up gently, carefully threading water. Emily’s phone vibrated in her pocket so she fished it out, seeing that there was a number she hadn’t saved. She excused herself before leaving the room. Accepting the call, she pressed the phone to her ear. 

“This is Prentiss,” she answered. 

“Hi! I’m calling from the Neurology unit at Inova Fairfax Hospital. My notes says that you wanted me to call you on an update with Leah Clarewater,” There was a man who spoke in a very high pitched voice, kind of like Reid’s. 

“Oh, yes!” Emily answered. “Is she awake?” 

“We decided to admit her for the night, just as a precaution. But she’s awake and coherent, so if you want to see her that should be fine now.” 

“Okay, great! I’ll be right over!” Emily said before hanging up the phone. She poked her head in through Reid’s door before she left, just saying she was leaving for a few minutes. Reid hadn’t wanted to know anything, so she didn’t say where she was going. Morgan would know and that was enough. 

The hospital was a maze, but she eventually found her way to Neurology. With the help of some lovely nurse she managed to locate Clarewater’s room which was at the very end of the hall. She knocked purposefully on the door, waiting a second before opening it. She poked her head in to see that the person she was looking for was laying down in the bed. 

“Hey,” Emily greeted her as she closed the door behind her. “Do you remember me?” She asked as she took a seat in one of the empty chairs. Emily thought it was strange. Clarewater was in her own clothes which  had a few stains of blood dried on them, there were no IVs or other kinds of medical equipment connected to her, nothing to indicate she was sick. While Reid had an IV hooked up constantly and a hospitalgown on he still looked far healthier than she did. It was just a funny thought. 

“I do, but I must apologise for not recalling the name,” Clarewater sighed. She didn’t sound irritated, just tired. Emily could only imagine. 

“Don’t worry about it,” she smiled. “My name is Emily Prentiss.” 

“Okay,” the blonde mumbled. “Sorry, I’m just really dizzy and my head is kind of a mess so I probably won’t be able to remember that in, like, five minutes.” 

“That’s fine,” Emily assured her. 

“You, uh… wanted to talk to me about Spencer?” She lifted her head as if she wanted to look at Emily, but she was wearing a pair of dark, huge sunglasses so it was hard to meet her eyes. Emily took note that she referred to Reid by his firstname. 

“Yes, but let’s start with what happened to you in parkinggarage.” 

“I honestly don’t remember much.” The nurse leaned forward a little in the bed and rubbed her forehead with both her hands. 

“Just tell me what you remember,” Emily offered. 

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I was just headed for my car when this guy came up behind me.” 

“Do you remember what he looked like?” Emily asked. “Was he tall? Short? Bald perhaps? Did he have any tattoos? Do you remember anything that could help us find him?” 

“He was, uhm… tall, I think? I mean, he was taller than me, but I’m, like, five-foot-two so basically everyone’s taller than me,” she explained. “And… um, I didn’t really see his face or anything. At least I don’t think so. I honestly can’t remember. Sorry, my mind’s a mess right now.” She looked up and even though Emily couldn’t see her eyes she knew she was looking sad about it. 

“That’s fine. It’s normal not to remember everything right away. And you served some pretty bad blows to the head, so really… Don’t feel bad,” Emily offered her a genuine smile. “Let’s not focus on the details. Can you remember what happened? Was he behind you the whole time or was there a time where you were facing him?” 

“No, he, uhm… He came up behind me and smashed my face into the car. Like, hard and repeatedly. Then he threw me down on the ground, on my back, and then he got on top of me. I think I must have closed my eyes or something, because I can’t actually remember seeing his face.” Clarewater explained. 

“Are you sure? Try to think really hard.” Emily told her as she made mental notes as to what she was telling her. 

“No, you don’t… It’s hard to explain. It’s not like I can’t remember what he looked like, it’s like I can’t remember if I saw him or not. I don’t know how else to explain it, sorry.” She chuckled a little at that before wincing and clutching a hand to her forehead again. 

“It’s fine, we’ll come back to that.” Emily assured her. “What happened next?” 

“Well, he… got on top of me and started strangling me. And I think I must’ve… fought back or something, because I scratched him and he didn’t like that. So he sorta… lifted me by the front of my shirt and slammed me back down, like, slamming my head against the ground. And he did that a few times and I think I passed out from that, because I… can’t really remember anything after that.” 

“Wait, you scratched him?” Emily backtracked a little. That was the most important part of her story so far. 

“Yeah, I… I think I must’ve,” she said, holding her hands out. Emily noted that her nails were clipped short, as a nurse’s nails should be, and there was a little blood and what looked like skin under a few of them. 

“I’m gonna have someone come up later and collect a sample. There might be some DNA there which can help us find this guy,” Emily informed her and Clarewater dropped her hands again. “Do you remember anything else about him? Did he say anything?” 

“Yeah, he… he did, but I don’t think it means anything.” She said with a shrug. 

“What exactly did he say?” 

“He said… He said ‘Heathens be heathens. Heathens be scapegoats’.” Her voice was slightly shaky as she spoke and that made Emily frown as well. What did that mean? 

“And that doesn’t mean anything to you?” Emily asked. 

“Why would it?” She scoffed. “I don’t know, that’s what he said.” 

“Alright,” Emily nodded. “Do you need a little break?” Emily felt the need to ask. Clarewater seemed… a little shaken up, but fine considering all things. Most victims would be a crying mess halfway through telling their stories, but she wasn’t. She seemed noticeably upset, sure, but not nearly what Emily would expect. She still couldn’t tell if it was whatever medication she might be on or the concussion or if it was something else. 

“I just wanna get this over with so I can get some rest.” Clarewater responded, sounding tired so Emily could understand her desire for sleep. “You wanted to talk about your agent?” 

“Yes,” Emily said, still a little certain about how to proceed. “We just want to get the timeline right. So, we’re looking into everyone he saw before he got shot and everyone he-” she started explaining before she was cut off. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Clarewater shook her head a little, as if she was trying to grasp something. “What do you mean ‘looking into’?” She asked. Emily’s mouth fell open a little at the defensive tone the other woman had. “Am I a suspect? Is that what this is?” Emily could understand that she’d feel upset about the accusations, but she found herself growing frustrated as well. It was kind of like a defensemechanism for Emily. 

“Look, here’s what I know,” She said, keeping her voice stern. “You were the last person to see Dr. Reid before he was shot-”

“I was already at work when he got shot!” Clarewater interrupted. She almost screaming and that must have hurt her head, but she didn’t show it. 

“You’ve visited his room on multiple occasions after he got admitted, some of those visits unnecessary, won’t you say? You don’t seem the least bit concerned about what happened to yourself and you’re in a rush to get out of here. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that screams guilty to me and I don’t know what exactly you’re guilty for but I still have to follow all leads,” Emily told her and tried to look somewhat in the center of the sunglasses as if she was trying to maintain eye contact. She looked at her for a long moment before the woman eventually took the glasses off. She winced a little, shutting her eyes for a few seconds before opening them. She blinked a little against the light before she spoke up. 

“Why would I shoot Spencer? I barely even know him. It doesn’t make any sense,” She said, her voice a more normal level now. 

“Sometimes it just doesn’t make any sense,” Emily told her, keeping her voice in a lower tone to match the other woman’s. “Listen… Is it okay if I call you Leah?” Emily asked to which the other woman just shrugged. “I’m gonna be completely honest with you. Me and my team, Dr. Reid included… We’re profilers. We investigate murders and other criminalcases and we evaluate the evidence. Based on that evidence we make a profile of what we think that killer is like, how they act, their education, social life, etcetera. And you do fit that profile, Leah. And I’m only telling you this because Reid… he thinks you’re innocent. So, I owe it to him to be honest with you so you can be honest with me.” Emily watched as her eyes glossed over. She looked genuinely upset. 

“You said murder…” She trailed off at the end. “Is Spencer… Is he dead? He was fine when I left the ICU. God, please don’t tell me he’s dead.” She started crying then and that reaction put even more doubt into Emily’s mind. One thing was telling her that she was in the same room as the unsub they were looking for, another thing told her the opposite. It was a tough case, but she remembered Morgan’s previous words and she was adamant to leave that room with more answers than questions. 

“Reid is fine, but we assume that whoever shot him might come back,” Emily decided to just be completely honest. 

“And you still think that’s me?” Clarewater asked, sniffing through her tears. “You actually think I did this?” 

“Prove it wasn’t,” was all Emily could say. 

“Yeah, because how do I prove I didn’t shoot anyone?” She laughed darkly at that, even through her tears which were falling more rapidly now. 

“How about you start with telling me why your reaction’s so off?” Emily offered. Right now that was the most pressing concern she had. 

“Why? Because I’m not curled up in the corner like some baby and feeling sorry for myself?” She scoffed. 

“That might be a good place to start,” Emily nodded. She watched as the other woman fiddled a little in the bed before moving to the end of it. 

“I just… need to move around for a second,” she sighed, slowly getting up. Emily shot to her feet, afraid Clarewater would fall again. She didn’t go to grab her, just getting ready in case something were to happen. “I’m fine,” she assured her. Once Emily was sure she was actually okay to stand on her own she let the woman move freely. 

“Take your time,” Emily said as Clarewater moved to stand by the window. She just looked out it for probably five minutes straight, her face was unreadable. She looked drained of emotions, completely numb. 

“Are you gonna tell Spencer about any of this?” She finally asked after a long moment of silence. 

“Do you want me to?” Emily asked back. 

“No, I honestly don’t want him to know.” 

“Alright, then whatever you say to me will not reach his ear. He’s off the case completely now, he said he didn’t want any involvement after we brought you up as a possible suspect,” Emily decided that if she was to get any answers she had to just be honest. She owed that to Reid and to Clarewater. 

“He’s too good, you know?” She said, turning her head so she could look at Emily. She had a sad smile on her lips. Emily wondered what she meant by that. “So, you said you’re… profilers? Does that mean you… like, did a background check on me?” 

“We did, yes,” Emily answered. 

“So, you know about Sam?” 

“That’s your brother, right?” 

“Yeah,” Clarewater sighed, making her way over to the other chair which was on the other side of the bed. She slumped down in it. She looked… exhausted, there really wasn’t any other way of putting it. “I don’t know how much you know, but I was with him the day he disappeared. And I… just never stopped blaming myself for that. He had been right there. Right there! And in a split second he was gone. And I blamed myself and eventually the police gave up looking and then my parents started blaming me as well… And all this time I still wish it was me and not him. I never got to know what happened to him, but I can only imagine. And whatever horrible things he might have experienced, I still wish it was me and not him.” She explained and Emily felt a little bad for her. She could really understand her struggles, but that still didn’t give her a clear answer. “I don’t tell a lot of people that. Actually, I’ve probably never told anyone that. I’ve told some people about Sammy, though, just not… Anyway, I think it’s clear to say I don’t really care about myself. I mean, I’m not exactly stupid and I know that when people tell me it’s not healthy to have those thoughts, I realize that they’re right, but I just don’t care. I guess I care more about other’s than I do about myself.” She finished with a shrug. 

“Leah, don’t take this the wrong way… but are you depressed?” Emily had to ask because the way she talked very much suggested that she was. Clarewater paused for a moment. 

“Look, as I said I’m not stupid. I’m not gonna sit here and lie when I’m quite literary trying to clear my name. I don’t think I’m depressed, but then again most depressed people think that… but there’s a possibility. I… tend to bury myself in work rather than feel my… emotions, feelings whatever. I don’t like feeling vulnerable, I don’t like feeling sad and I realize that I do not exactly have a healthy relationship with my emotions… but I didn’t do this. I didn’t shoot Spencer. Enough people around me have been hurt and I don’t ever want to be the reason for that again.” Tears were streaming down her face again towards the end of her speech. Emily felt the urge to hug her, something she had never done before with a suspect. 

“Leah, listen to me… You did not hurt your brother. You are not the reason he’s gone. I know it’s hard, but try to believe me when I say that you did nothing wrong. Nothing,” Emily spoke sternly, putting pressure on all the right words. Clarewater raised her eyes to look at her. 

“So… Do you believe me?” She asked. “I would never hurt Spencer, at least not on purpose. I know I’m fucked up. Sorry for cursing, by the way. I know I’m messed up, but I wouldn’t go around shooting someone. And especially not Spencer. He… he’s possibly one of the best people I’ve ever met.” Emily had to smile at that last part. 

“You know, he said the exact same thing about you.” She knew it wasn’t her place to tell, but she realized this woman needed to hear some positive words right now. 

“He did?” Clarewater asked. Her eyes were still glassy. “So, you believe me?” And that was the question, wasn’t it. It had an easy answer now. 

“Yes, Leah. I believe you,” Emily told her honestly. “I’m gonna be honest with you now and you need to hear this. The people we usually hunt, they’re like you. They’ve had a bad childhood or have some mental disorders, or something else to make them lash out… But not everyone who experiences trauma becomes killers. Some people are like you, they spend all their time and effort on helping others. You do need to remember, though, that you have to take care of yourself as well, okay?” 

“I try…” Clarewater said in a hushed voice. “Or actually, that’s a lie. I want to try. I guess it’s just easier to take care of others than myself.” 

“Maybe you should start by doing that, put yourself first?” Emily suggested. 

“Maybe,” she shrugged, but Emily had a feeling she wouldn’t take that suggestion to heart. It wasn’t her place to say anything on the matter, not really, but oh how she wanted to. This woman had been through enough. 

“I still have a few questions before we’re done, is that okay?” Emily asked, deciding it would best to just hurry things along so Clarewater could get some rest. “We found a gun in your car… Is there any reason you have it?” The woman fiddled a little in her seat, as if she didn’t quite want to answer the question. Emily actually believed that Clarewater wasn’t behind this, not anymore, but there were still so many questions and evidence still pointing towards her. 

“Would you buy it if I said it’s for protection?” She asked, looking up at Emily through her lashes. “I want to be honest here, but I also really don’t want to get into detail about that… I bought the gun… years ago and it is for protection. I’ve never even fired it and it has nothing to do with Spencer so do I really have to go into details?” She looked genuinely uncomfortable, so Emily decided to let it go. But she still had some things to say on the matter. 

“Hey, why you got it is actually none of my concern. It’s what you use it for that we’re interested in. I have to tell you this, since you’re still technically a suspect until we’ve ruled out everything, but we’re gonna test the gun, just to see if matches the gun we’re looking for. If it doesn’t, then there’s no problem here,” Emily informed her. She nodded shortly. “I also need to ask you about last night. We just need to hear your side of what happened after you left the library.” 

“I uhm… I was just trying to read this book at the library. And I know this is probably gonna make me sound… even more suspect, I guess, but I’m hardly ever there. I just… lately I’ve been having a lot on my mind and I already explained how I am with emotions… I just couldn’t be at home alone, so I decided to just… head out. So, I went to the library and apparently I left my card by the printer. Spencer found it and returned it to me since I was still there,” she explained. Emily nodded for her to continue. It didn’t make her more of a suspect in her eyes, especially since she now believed closer to 90% that this woman wasn’t who they were looking for. “We got to talking, because… You know, he seemed nice. We didn’t really talk that much, because I got called into work around… I’m sorry, I know when they called and I know when I arrived, but my head’s still kind of a mess.” 

“We checked and you clocked in at nine-fourty-eight,” Emily offered. Garcia had checked earlier. 

“Yeah… that sounds about right. I always clock in the minute I walk into work. And if I remember correctly then they called around half something, so probably nine-thirty. It’s in my phone, so I can just check to make sure.” She said. 

“No need, that seems to fit with the timeline.” Emily respond. “So, let’s say it took you around fifteen minutes to get from the library to work, does that sound right to you? You didn’t make any stops along the way?” The team had already checked this, estimating that with the light traffic so late at night it would probably take about ten minutes to drive that distance, and given the time it would take to park, get from the parking garage, change clothes and clock in fifteen-twenty minutes seemed more than plausible. 

“No, I just headed straight in. They said it was an all hands on deck situation, so I got here as fast as I could.” She answered. 

“Alright, that seems to match our timeline.” Emily told her. “I think that is enough for right now.” 

“That’s… it?” 

“Yeah, that’s it.” Emily offered the most reassuring smile she could muster. She had everything she needed. Sure, they’d have to wait for the ballisticstest on her gun to come back, but she already assumed that wouldn’t be a problem. “As I said before, we’re still going to check your gun, just a procedure. But if the test comes back negative then we can officially drop you as a suspect.”

“So… you actually believe me? This isn’t some kind of trick is it? Because I’ve been nothing but honest and if this-”

“Leah, I believe you.” Emily interrupted her, leaning forward in her seat a little. “Okay? I believe you.” She said it again, just to make sure Clarewater understood that she was genuine. Her initial response was to let out a shaky breath.

“Thank you,” she breathed out, her eyes watering a little again. “I mean, I shouldn’t be thanking you for not thinking I’m some lunatic who just goes around shooting random people, but… thank you.” Emily couldn’t help but laugh at that and suddenly she could see why Reid likes her so much. 

“There’s no need to thank me, Leah. I just wanted answers and you were honest with me. That’s all I needed to know.” Emily shrugged. 

“But you still thought I did this… and I still swear I didn’t, but doesn’t that… like, leave you back to square one?” Clarewater asked. 

“It kind of does,” Emily agreed. “But we’ll catch whoever is behind this.” That caught Clarewater’s attention. 

“Do you think whoever shot Spencer might be the same person who attacked me?” Emily had to purse her lips a little. 

“It’s a theory,” she said. “But you being the person who shot Reid was also just a theory. So, it might just be a theory and nothing more than a theory.” 

“I’m still a mess and that was a lot of ‘theory’s in the same sentence.” Clarewater said while shaking her head, looking a little lost. Emily found herself chuckling again. “But I think I got the point.” 

“I’m sorry,” Emily said, a little sheepishly. “I should probably let you get some rest now. It’s been a long day for you, so remember what I told you about trying to take care of yourself, okay?” She nodded, but Emily still had her doubts about wether she’d actually listen to those words. 

“I’m sorry, but what was your name again? I know it was something on ‘E’, I just think my brain is shutting down now.” Clarewater asked. 

“Emily.” She smiled. 

“Is it okay if I call you Emily or do you prefer Agent… something else I don’t remember.” Now that Clarewater was unofficially ruled out as a suspect Emily realized that she started to like her.

“Emily is just fine.” She replied.

“I know this is gonna sound really inappropriate, but can I hug you?” That was a really inappropriate request, but one that Emily couldn’t find it in herself to deny. So, she rose from her seat and the other woman met her halfway. They embraced and it wasn’t this earthshattering experience. There was no crying on the shoulder, no messing up make-up, just a comforting hug. But Emily found it that she had needed a hug just as much as Clarewater had. 

“You try to get some rest, okay?” Emily said, stroking the other woman’s back a final time before stepping back. “I’m gonna have someone come in soon so they can collect the DNA-sample from your fingernails. And we might have some more questions for you later regarding your own assault, but for tonight I think you should just rest. Is that okay?” Clarewater nodded and went back over to her bed. She laid down in it, drawing the blankets around her. 

“Hey, uhm, Emily?” She asked just as Emily was about to leave. 

“Yeah?” 

“You said if I remembered anything?” Clarewater started. “The man who attacked me… I’m pretty sure he was an addict or something.”

“What makes you say that?” Emily frowned. 

“Or maybe not addict, but he was really irrational. When he… said those words, he said it when he was slamming my head into the ground. And he… Well, he was so angry, but his voice was calm. It was like his body was full of rage, but his mind wasn’t, if you know what I mean?” Clearwater explained and Emily did. “He just… he wasn’t sane is what I’m saying. I guess that’s something important for you to know.” 

“It is.” Emily assured her. “It really is. Thank you, Leah. Now if there’s anything else, no matter how small the detail may be, then call me, okay?” Emily picked a card out of her pocket and left it on the nightstand before deciding she had occupied enough of Clarewater’s time. 

“Thank you.” She smiled. “You’ll look out for Spencer, right? He’s a good guy.” 

“Of course we will. He has a whole team behind him who cares about him very much.” 

“That’s good. He deserves that.” Clarewater smiled once more and Emily took that as her que to leave. She almost didn’t even get out of the room before she called someone to collect the DNA-sample, feeling like that might answer one question if they’d get a match. Even though she walked out of Neurology feeling ten times lighter, she still felt like the more answers she’d gotten, the more questions popped up. 

She returned to the ICU to find Morgan standing outside of Reid’s door, phone to his ear. She decided to wait for him to finish talking, so she started a friendly conversation with Anderson. 

“What’d the girl say?” Morgan asked once he’d hung up. 

“I don’t think it’s her.” Emily sighed, getting right to the important part. 

“Well, ballistics agree with you.” He informed her and Emily’s eyes went wide. 

“You got the report already?” 

“Well, I told the chief to put a rush on it and what can I say? They really put a rush on it.” He laughed. Emily felt even lighter now. 

“So, the gun didn’t match, then?” Emily asked, just to be sure. 

“No. That was the gun expert I just talked to. He said he didn’t even need to test it since the gun hadn’t been fired in a while. He actually concluded that the gun had never been fired. But he did a testround anyway just to be sure and it doesn’t match.” So, Clarewater really had been telling the truth. Not that Emily had doubted that after the heart to heart they’d had, but it was good to have a solid piece of evidence as well. 

“So, does that mean we can rule her out then?” Emily asked and Morgan shrugged. 

“I mean, we still gotta brief the rest of the team and hear what Hotch has to say, but to me it’s a pretty straight case. We have no evidence tying her to any of the shootings or murders, we’ve all had mixed feelings about her, your good peopleknowing skills speak in her favour… And Reid’s as well. I say she’s no longer a suspect.” Morgan shrugged and Emily had never once in her life been so relieved that they’d caught the wrong person. 

Tag list: 

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187​  @wooya1224​  @haylaansmi​

[miniwolfsbane]

Sweet Tooth S1 thoughts (BIG SPOILERS)

First off, I am disappointed we were shown a PURRING PUPPY BABY in the trailer and had 0 follow up with it? Did he/she escape to Istanbul with it’s parents? Get captured? Live a nomadic life? Live in the forest? I WANT ANSWERS!! :( Also, puppies don’t purr, so I want answers to that too. Unless they were trying to go for a whimper or an animal noise and just went with that instead.

BIG SPOILERS under the cut

Anyway, the only two things, aside from the bits of gore and violence (Reviews are all like “IT’S A FAMILY SHOW!” And I counter back with “I would not let any child under 13 watch this and I have never seen a family show with three seconds of guts being removed and two scenes of implied, live vivisecting on sentient beings without anesthetic.”), the only things I didn’t like about this were using 2 overused cliche’s. One being the hero hanging off a bridge for what seems like 12 years above peril, and the other I can’t remember. It was Jeppard nearly missing the train. The only thing that saved it was the flashback.

The other thing was that, while dark, there’s a bit of predictably and not much depth to the story. I realized last night that the comic source material my have the depth I’m craving out of the story. Just because it has child actors doesn’t mean the story can’t be dug into deeper and have more meaning. I applaud them for what they did and how they handled it, mixing in human-ish vivisecting with neighbors burning down their friends houses and being murderous hypocrites into a story about children, but it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted more.  Edit: Not more violence, obviously, just more to the story. dig into the universe, hard. Like gardening, just shove both metaphorical hands into that story soil and root around in it. Find all the gems that are the interesting parts of this universe and answer our questions. 

Sadly, I see someone on tumblr called it...something. Like, were we even watching the same show?? A multi-racial cast that gives all it’s characters dignity isn’t...that.

Bobby isn’t creepy to most and not shown that much. If you really think Bobby is that creepy, you need to go see original Bobby and get back to me. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=mv4YBZHa&id=071BD6BDAA183CA5965247E7F8F68E873375399B&thid=OIP.mv4YBZHau8dTzxGoK0L0ggHaHD&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fvignette.wikia.nocookie.net%2Fmarvel_dc%2Fimages%2Ff%2Ffc%2FBobby_Sweet_Tooth_001.jpg%2Frevision%2Flatest%3Fcb%3D20150813115735&cdnurl=https%3A%2F%2Fth.bing.com%2Fth%2Fid%2FR9afe180591dabbc753cf11a82b42f482%3Frik%3Dmzl1M4eO9vjnRw&pid=ImgRaw&exph=616&expw=647&q=sweet+tooth+comics+bobby&simid=608026455638091252&ck=7A4DBACCF6BFE43E3B1E799F7F88C55A&selectedindex=0&adlt=demote&shtp=GetUrl&shid=3fb5000d-4d63-494a-986d-006fedeb28d5&shtk=Qm9iYnkgKFN3ZWV0IFRvb3RoKSB8IERDIERhdGFiYXNlIHwgRmFuZG9t&shdk=Rm91bmQgb24gQmluZyBmcm9tIGRjLmZhbmRvbS5jb20%3D&shhk=NjRWN4Jv1KDrxu8T30I3UN0IQ71oVtCAEnsLIeSmFl4%3D&form=EX0023&shth=OSH.nyb0RMh%252Bnm%252B%252B%252FIH1cnkhHw

Okay, kid does sorta look like a gremlin mixed with a Furby in the show, like one post said, but I’ve seen worse. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=F9mlBjUo&id=49C0257935E4A941563E579C7E9DCF48B72BEC01&thid=OIF.eyTVbAuEqt0R%2bKFmrIK4gA&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fepipoca.com.br%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2021%2f06%2fE3NUK2kVoAE5Ct_.jpg&cdnurl=https%3a%2f%2fth.bing.com%2fth%2fid%2fR17d9a5063528805f1ade0ea77464df86%3frik%3d%26pid%3dImgRaw&exph=675&expw=1482&q=sweet+tooth++Bobby&simid=297111136187&ck=7B24D56C0B84AADD11F8A166AC82B880&selectedIndex=49&FORM=IRPRST&ajaxhist=0&ajaxserp=0

Sometimes stuff goes over my head. I had no idea that the babies were being born and not made in a lab. When they showed them in the maternity ward, I genuinely thought they had been experimented on and didn’t come out of the womb like that. Apparently I missed that it was a maternity ward in a hospital. That’s my other problem with this show I forgot to mention: It defies logic and you really have to turn off your brain to accept the hybrid concept. I’m guessing the virus or other means (possibly according to the comics, I tried to avoid big spoilers), mutated them in utero. That still doesn’t satisfy me. Thankfully, Gus was somehow lab created, so that helps. (More information and context would be appreciated. Was it, like, they were experimenting with in-vitro or what?) Edit: This article https://screenrant.com/sweet-tooth-theory-purple-flowers-cure-sick-virus/ explains that putting the virus in a chicken egg produced Gus. Which makes even less sense. Edit: This MAY or MAY NOT be right. Someone on YT pointed out they never said this in the show.

 IRL, Virus + chicken embryo=would never randomly produce a human/deer hybrid baby. It’s so freaking random it sounds like nonsense or the delusions of a madman, not a rational comic book author with a presumably sane mind. Just...I’ve said it before...things have to make sense, even in fiction. 5 step process of anything cannot equal random result. It goes against all science, right? And made up worlds have to have rules, even silly worlds. Like I said, you have to turn your brain off, but this stretches even my disbelief. Hybrids, I get, fine, but that? I’m sorry, what? *headdesk* I don’t know, maybe the comics had something I’m missing since I never read them.

I’m eager to learn the connection to the kids and the virus as we go. And if we don’t get a season 2, I’ll be getting the comics to satisfy my thirst for this show.

Gus is my baby and I don’t understand how a kid could be that cute. Jeppard is the GOAT (lol) Bear could use better line delivery at times, but her acting will improve I’m sure. Nice to see Diana Ramierez acting again, her character is likeable. Wendy is cute, but kinda just there for me. Needs more traits or character development to get on my favorite characters list. Bear also needs more than just backstory and a tough girl persona. She’s not bland, she just needs more spark to her as a character. More personality, if that makes sense. 

Lastly, I wanted a tiny bit more from the make-up department. Wendy and rabbit kids (yes, I took note of this detail and I love bunnies) make-up is on point, but the rest look like kids dressed up in dollar store feathers and fur for a school play. Get more creative if you’re gonna show these hybrids, even if it’s just for a few seconds. You have the budget!! (But I think most of that went to Bobby’s puppetry/CGI and Jeppard’s baby, to be honest.)

I wanted a cat girl or boy, because the lulz for the anime community (Also, because I have 2 cats and stuff), but at least we got bird kids, even if they weren’t cockatiels like mine. I’m ready for Season 2, hurry Netflix!!

I can see why people wouldn’t like this show or wouldn’t recommend watching it, but I see many have embraced it. It’s either you’re thing or it’s not, but you should give it a chance and see. Just don’t shoot it down if you hate it, there’s enough wet blankets out there and we all have different tastes.

Edit: One last thing. I do have a problem with hybrids being half-human. Like, you would think that being half-human, they’d still have all the problems humans have with causing wars and all. I know it’s a dark story with a good outcome, but there’s something too saccharine about hybrids having “The best parts of us.” What exactly are those best parts? Last I checked, humans are selfish and vain at their core. Even the most altruistic, giving person can be greedy about something or want more. It’s like Genie said in the new Aladdin, “You can have all the money and power in the world and it still won’t be enough”.  Wouldn’t bird people and pig people and deer people all want to side with each other instead of living in some grand utopia? Fighting over land and resources? Portraying hybrids as taking over the earth after people are gone from extinction and everything going peachy doesn’t quite work for me. Not that I’d want it to still be dark, but, eh, they’d have to have SOME problems, wouldn’t they?

[wherethewordsare]

DESIDERATUM Pt2

Beginning>> Next

Summary:  Desideratum - to long for. Five times Jaskier needed Geralt, plus one time Geralt needed him.

Hey yall, this is another train fic! Keep an eye out for the next part on Friday from our next mystery contributor!

He told himself it was for a number of reasons that he went out looking for Geralt. He told himself it was because he was bored at court, because Virginia was in a cooling phase, that Arthur was due back home any week now and Jaskier wasn’t looking forward to another shouting match between the count and countess.��

Jaskier told himself so many things as he followed the rumors to the river as to why he went looking for Geralt but the true reason. 

When he came down the path, he took a beat, watching his- his what? Geralt would never let him call him anything that made Geralt his anything. But there Geralt was, his shoulders drawn in a hard line of tension, sleeves rolled up over his elbows. 

Everything had gone tits up so fast that Jaskier didn’t know what else to do, so he did what he always would do. He clung to Geralt and hoped that the look of worry and concern were real and not just a creation of his own panic as he struggled for breath. The lump in his throat when he looked at Geralt was no longer just metaphorical and it crushed against his windpipe in a way that felt too much like a hand strangling the air from him. 

He tried for words but nothing came and Jaskier simply let himself be dragged along, first to a healer who was simply ineffectual and then to the witch. He was out before too long, sliding into a hazy sleep where he couldn’t call out for Geralt any more than he could with that thing blocking his voice. 

Coming to was no more illuminating than before, but he had a taste in his mouth of dust and blood and something sharp like magic meant to harm, In his fog he thought maybe he had been put in a bed in an inn somewhere and turned, reaching for the solid line of Geralt’s side that wasn’t there. For a moment, panic swelled in his chest and he thought the magic had come back, choking him again, but it was just the same pain he realized he was growing accustom to. 

The woman on the edge of the bed, her back turned to him was gorgeous and haunting, her black hair cascading down her naked back-

Her naked back. What had happened? Where was Geralt? Why did Jaskier remember an orgy? 

“Not to be untoward or anything, but did we-” he gestured vaguely between himself and the woman but when she turned, her face was a mask of determination and power. He scrambled from the bed, his boots by the door. 

When she asked for him to try some scales, the only song he could think to sing was Geralt’s. If he was close, maybe he would hear, maybe he would come and save him. Jaskier needed him to appear, to pull him out by the scruff of his neck as he always had and make those faces at him again, the ones Jaskier could tell himself made it feel like Geralt actually cared, even a little bit. 

“Make your last wish!” she demanded as she stood above her circle of candles. 

He knew what he desired, what would sooth the thing roiling in his gut but in the moment, he didn’t want to risk putting Geralt into the path of this crazy woman. “I- I wish very badly to leave this place forever!” 

When she started chanting, he ran. 

“Oh Geralt, thank the gods,” he huffed. It would have been so easy to just lean into him, into the space where Jaskier knew he’d be safe. He could pretend that Geralt would be happy he was alive even as he rushed in to save the witch that had just nearly tried to kill him. 

“She saved your life, Jaskier, I can’t let her die.” What was he supposed to do with that. 

Jaskier stood in the middle of the road, watching as the house seemed to partially collapse, and his heart collapsed with it. His chest constricted in a way he hadn’t been expecting. Sure he had cared for Geralt but something else, something like poison slipped between his ribs and festered into his heart. 

Jaskier didn’t just care for Geralt, he might have been just a little bit in love with him and it hadn’t been fair that he had resigned himself to a life chasing after the impossible. 

“... It wasn’t supposed to go this way.” There was a war within him. His- not his. Geralt was gone and Jaskier was left behind, as always, picking up the pieces of something he hadn’t realized would shatter so easily. 

“They’re alive!” Chireadan slumped down in front of him, pulling him to the window

Jaskier pushed in beside him, expecting relief to sooth the vibration under his skin. They were alive alright, and fucking their way to proving it. It had never bothered him before the idea of Geralt sleeping with someone. It shouldn’t have mattered then and so he told himself it didn’t. 

Just this once, and then we’ll never see her again. Jaskier reasoned, turning away quickly. 

But of course it wasn’t. 

And it wasn’t… and it wasn’t… and it wasn’t. And each time they ran into Yennefer by chance, by fate, or by Geralt’s own undefined need, a part of Jaskier chipped and cracked and threatened to shatter. 

“I thought we had a contract in Vizima?” Jaskier bounced along side Roach, his fingers working over a particularly tricky chord procession. 

“I have a contract in Vizima,” Geralt deadpanned, not looking at Jaskier.

“That’s all well and good, but this is the road to Murivel,” 

“I know how to read a map, Jaskier,” he growled back, but there didn’t seem to be any heat behind it. Instead, Geralt seemed almost pleased with himself. 

“I don’t doubt your ability with a map, Witcher, but I’m starting to doubt your sanity. What are you playing at?” he jogged up a bit until he was nearly in step with Roach, pushing his lute back over his shoulder. 

“There’s a bardic competition in Murivel for one of their festivals.” And there it was, that smile Geralt gave him on the rare occasions when the coin was alright, the people weren’t awful, and all the gods agreed that Jaskier should have something at least slightly nice in his life. He tried not to admit how much he had come to live off those smiles or to read into them. 

“What about the contract?” 

“Hm,” Geralt smirked, urging Roach on, leaving Jaskier to follow. 

They had found a room at a tavern on the edge of town and Geralt had even agreed to attend for Jaskier’s performance. 

“I mean it, Geralt! I’m counting on you,” Jaskier teased, throwing a towel at him as he climbed out of the bath. 

It felt like nearly every eye in Murivel was on him when he took the stage, but even through the haze of pipe smoke and the setting sun, Jaskier could still make out Geralt towards the edge of the square, his eyes not leaving Jaskier as he began to play. He hadn’t realized how much he had needed just that one set of amber eyes on him to settle his nerves. 

Jaskier had glanced away for a moment but when his eyes found Geralt again, those same eyes were now caught in violet ones framed by dark raven hair and a smile like a knife. It cut Jaskier to ribbons and his fingers tripped over the chords he otherwise knew in his sleep. 

Geralt had said it was because of a bardic competition, but as Jaskier left the stage, knowing that he lost points for his sudden loss of breath mid performance, he felt… played. 

Geralt would come back, of course he would. He always did. Jaskier sat at the end of the bar in the tavern and watched the door as he slowly tipped himself into the well made mead, spending nearly every coin of his third place winnings. He watched and waited as the tavern slowly emptied out, the barkeep getting more and more aggressive with insisting Jaskier call it a night. And so he did. 

Jaskier climbed the stairs alone and pushed into their… his room. The only thing there that had even suggested he wasn’t travelling alone was a second cloak hanging beside his on the back of the door. He reached out, adjusting it without purpose until he couldn’t bare to touch the thing any more. 

The note he left for Geralt was short and to the point and Jaskier didn’t think he would even think anything of it. Jaskier was prone to taking off randomly and this would have been no different, not from where Geralt stood anyways. 

He hadn’t slept and he watched through the tiny window as the sky beyond the city went from a deep bruising blue to a soft gray. He had set out then, not looking back as he found the road west. 

Jaskier swallowed around the lumb that had caught in his throat, the memory of the djinn tinging it with that same sharp taste that still left him breathless and helpless. 

“She saved your life, Jaskier. I can’t let her die,” he said, his eyes softer than they normally would be. 

The exhaustion in his bones couldn’t outway the burning in his chest that propelled him forward. Jaskier had never understood why Geralt couldn’t have let her die while Jaskier himself stood there choking to death on a need he could not name. 

[joshuas]

first place

♫ pairing: Kim Seungmin x Reader

♫ genre: College/university student!au, slice-of-life, fluff, med student!seungmin, rivalry au 

♫ word count: 5.7k

♫ warnings: Nil of note!

♫ summary: Just a bunch of shenanigans that take place at a hospital during the holiday period. 

♫ a/n: The sixth addition to my seasonal oneshots! This is a continuation from my Hyunjin oneshot. Enjoy!

♫ skz seasonal oneshots: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

“Seungmin and Y/N, you’ll be shadowing these doctors for the next couple of weeks. Please try to get along...” Your professor gave you a pained smile, before handing you over to the two consultants in charge of monitoring your progress at the hospital. “Try to get along? Is there a rivalry that we should be concerned about?” The consultant gestured between you and Seungmin. “Oh, it’s nothing maj—“ You broke off as Seungmin cut in, “Long story short, we’re both the top students in our course, so sometimes our rivalry can get out of hand. But I can assure you, we won’t let anything interfere with the patient’s care.” “Well, I sure hope so. You guys are in the big leagues now— interning at an actual hospital. Any mention of your behaviour becoming the slightest bit unprofessional, and the two of you could fail this component of your course.” The consultant warned before taking you both on a tour of the hospital.

“At the end of the day, I’ll need your progress reports and any paperwork regarding the well-being of your patients. Remember, quality over quantity. Try not to make a competition over the number of patients you see.” The consultant sighed before departing, leaving the two of you in the ER. “We’re going to ignore them, right?” Seungmin raised an eyebrow. You smirked, “You might need to but I don’t. Watch me see lots of patients and deliver them the best possible care.” Seungmin scoffed, before the two of you headed off in opposite directions, tending to as many patients as possible.

“Noooooo I don’t want an injection!!” Timmy, the four-year-old patient you were placed in charge of, got out of his bed, running towards the door. “Please, Timmy, calm down!” You rushed towards him, catching him in your arms before he could run out into the corridor, “Should I sing a nursery rhyme? Twinkle twinkle little... what was it again?” You chased after the four year old, wrestling to place him back on his hospital bed. “Looks like you might need some help,” Seungmin smirked as he sidled up beside you. “He’s not your patient, he’s mine.” You said defensively, turning back to the screaming child, a forced smile etched upon your features. “Hmm... and look at how this is turning out for you? Come on. I bet I can calm him down and give him his injection way faster than you.” He looked at you mischievously. “...you’re on, Kim Seungmin.”

[2 hours later] You slumped against the side of the bed lethargically, placing the fiftieth soft toy you could find on the hospital bed, “Please, Timmy. I’ve gotten all the toys you wanted. All of these soft toys will be there for you while you get your injection and afterwards.” You sighed, exhausted as the kid kept on crying. “What do you want, kid? Money? I’m a medical student, so I don’t have much. Is $20 enough? Thirty is as high as I’ll go.” Seungmin pulled out his wallet. You slapped his hand, “You can’t give money to a four-year-old. First of all, he’s a patient. Second of all, he’s four-years-old!” You looked at him incredulously. “It’s been two hours, Y/N. Where even are his parents? We’ve tried literally everything.” Seungmin sighed exasperatedly. “True...” You sighed, silence filling the room. You pondered for a bit, gasping as an idea struck you. “Well... we haven’t tried everything.” Your lips quirked up mischievously.

“Just put it on so we can calm him down.” You said, tone monotonous. “This is degrading on so many levels,” Seungmin grumbled, placing the puppy ears on his head as you drew on his face. “Best possible care, remember?” You gave him a quick smile before pushing him back into the ward. “Timmy, there’s a very special... puppy here to see you! He’ll be here to comfort you while you get your injection.” You smiled, as Seungmin beamed at Timmy, sitting beside him on the hospital bed. Timmy sniffled, “Does Mr Puppy get scared of injections too?” “Oh, all the time! He’s just like you. But can I tell you a secret? Injections prick a little bit and then your arm feels fine afterwards! It’s just like a small and short amount of pain.” You reassured, preparing your needle as Timmy distracted himself with Seungmin, giving pats to his puppy ears. Seungmin looked at you, slightly uncomfortable. “Okay, Timmy! Are we ready? I’m going to count down okay? 3, 2, 1.” You looked at Seungmin as he distracted Timmy by playing peek-a-boo. He looks low-key adorable... You shook your head, pushing in the needle,  “Yay! It’s done! Good job, Timmy!” You beamed at the four-year-old, tucking him back into his bed. “Okay, good night, Timmy! Mr Puppy has to go now! I’ll see you tomorrow.” You waved, Seungmin at your heels. “Bye-bye, Mr Puppy.” He waved sleepily at the two of you as you exited the ward. “I think he exhausted himself from all that crying.” You noted. “He exhausted himself? I’m exhausted. I think I need a lollipop for how much energy I put into calming this one kid.” Seungmin said, slightly incredulous. “I can’t believe you offered him money.” You scoffed. “Says the one who got fifty stuffed toys from different patients and botched up singing nursery rhymes.” Seungmin retorted. “We don’t talk about any of that. Anyway, don’t you have anything better to do? You didn’t have to intervene with my patient.” You crossed your arms over your chest. “I— well... Your patient was screaming so loudly that it was impossible for both my patients and myself to focus.” Seungmin refuted, ears turning pink. “Whatever. I’ll take that as my victory, right? I believe it’s now 24-17? Let’s see, there’s only... an hour till our shift ends... tick-tock.” You smiled patronisingly at Seungmin before walking away.

“Okay, Timmy! Now that you’ve recovered from your surgery, we can take a walk in the hospital gardens for a little bit.” You held out your hand to the little boy as he carefully hopped down from his bed. “Timmy, are you—“ Seungmin entered the room, looking up from his clipboard, as you buttoned up Timmy’s jacket. “What are you doing?” You asked, confused at his presence. “What are you doing?” He retorted, looking at you pointedly. “Taking care of my patient? Why do you keep trying to poach him from me?” You looked at him incredulously, placing Timmy’s hand in yours. Realisation dawned upon Seungmin’s features, “You know... I think the consultants heard about our... difficulties last time with Timmy and probably assigned him to both of us from now on.” “Ugh, it was probably from Dr Yoon — he hates us for some reason. Also, why didn’t you realise this when you found out that Timmy was your patient today?” You raised an eyebrow at Seungmin. “I just thought that they thought you were incompetent, which was why I, the more competent medical student of this cohort, was provided with this opportunity to show that to everyone... no offence,” Seungmin smirked slightly. “Okay, first of all, why are you so cocky? And second of all, adding ‘no offence’ at the end of your sentence doesn’t make your statement any less offensive.” You rolled your eyes. “Confidence is key. And, I wasn’t saying no offence to you, I was saying it to Timmy in case he thinks that he is just a mere opportunity to me— he is, but he’s my patient first.” Seungmin said a matter-of-factly. “Well now he’s our patient, so dial down on the ‘confidence’.” You scoffed, changing your entire demeanour as you turned to Timmy, “Shall we go outside now, Timmy?” You beamed. “Is Mr Puppy joining us too?” Timmy asked as Seungmin smiled at you victoriously. You sighed, exasperated,

“Yes, Mr Puppy will be joining us too...”

You breathed in the cool air, placing your hands in your jacket pocket as you calmly observed Timmy skipping excitedly ahead of the two of you, “Who do you think would win in a fight against Jisung? Me or you?” Seungmin asked randomly. “Why do you ask that? Me, obviously.” You rolled your eyes at him. “You have no reasoning for that. See, I would say me for obvious reasons.” Seungmin said slightly smugly. You stopped, turning to face him, “Oh? And what might those be?” You raised your eyebrows at him. “Well, for one, I’m a lot taller than him, which means I can reach out further and hit him before he hits me. Also, since I’m taller, I don’t have to punch upwards, which means that less force is applied when Jisung punches because he’d have to punch upwards, whereas I’d basically be punching straight, making my punch more powerful...” Seungmin droned on, explaining his argument, leaving no room to rebut. “I guess there was a reason you were on the debate team for all of high school.” You gave him a forced smile. “Actually I started in middle school. Anyway, I guess that means that I win.” He smirked triumphantly. “Um, no, you haven’t heard my side of the argument. Honestly, to think you did debating all this time and you still don’t know the rules.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, exasperated. “Let’s hear it...” “Well, first of all, let me just acknowledge your...”

[45 minutes later] The two of you bickered, hospital staff and patients often stopping to stare at the two of you, as you continued, oblivious to the scene you were creating, “No. You know what— I think we need a mediator. Timmy, who do you think would win in a fight? Me or—“ You broke off, looking around frantically and stressing over the sudden disappearance of your patient. “Did you see where he went?” You asked Seungmin, giving him the side-eye as the two of you ran throughout the gardens calling his name. “Obviously not since I’m running around to find him too.” Seungmin rolled his eyes as he looked through a snow-blanketed bush. “Guess you’re not the “best medical student of our cohort”. You can’t even take care of a child.” You said slightly smug. Seungmin sighed, looking at you,

“Not now, Y/N. He’s our patient, so you’re basically insulting yourself — you can’t even look after a child.” “Are you saying that I’d be a terrible parent?” You gasped, offended. “Are you saying that I’d be a terrible parent? Wait— I never mentioned parenthood.” He retorted, eyebrows raised. “I— oh! Timmy! Why are you hiding behind the park bench? It’s cold outside.” You helped him out onto the path, brushing off any snow from his clothes. “You and Mr Puppy were fighting, so I got scared and ran away.” He said shyly. You shared a look with Seungmin,

“Fighting? Oh no, honey. We were just... talking loudly.” You gave him a reassuring smile, holding out your hand to him. “Please don’t talk loudly anymore.” Timmy sniffled. “We’ll try not to.” Seungmin smiled, taking Timmy’s other hand as you entered the hospital.

“I smell... unprofessionalism.” Your consultant leaned back in their chair, sniffing disgustedly at the air, “I heard about what happened in the gardens today.” Your consultant leaned back in their chair, looking between Seungmin and you. “I promise you, it won’t happen again. And besides, Timmy was fine!” You spoke quickly. “And what if he wasn’t? We’d have a lawsuit on our hands. But above all, he’s your patient. He was placed under both of your care, and he deserves to be taken of to the best of your ability, regardless.” The consultant glared at the two of you pointedly. “We’re sorry.” Seungmin muttered, looking down. “Let me tell you this — this is a hospital. One of the most competitive workplace environments. I understand your competition with each other, but this is the real world, and in the real world there is no room for error. Especially when a patient’s life is at stake. All competition stops when we have to take care of our patients, since they are our top priority. I need you to reflect on whether they are yours?” The consultant raised their eyebrows as the two of you stood in stony silence. “Now, since the two of you can’t go without some sort of punishment, you’re going to have to get the paperwork from the receptionist at the ER and come back here to run through all of it. I want it done before 5pm.” The consultant tapped at their watch. “But the ER is on the other side of the hospital...” Seungmin noted. “So that means we only have... an hour to do all of this, on top of going there and back.” Your eyes widened. “Is that a problem?” Your consultant looked at the two of you pointedly. “No...”

As you exited the consultant office, you looked at Seungmin as he stretched his legs and arms, jogging lightly on the spot, “What are you doing? It’s not like you’re preparing for a marathon.” Your nose crinkled in slight disgust. “You said so yourself that we had one hour to get these files and organise them. Unlike you, I want to show that I am a professional and gets things done on time even before my subordinates.” Seungmin monologued. “I— subordinates? We’re literally in the same year.” You scoffed, tying your shoelaces. “I may view you as lesser than me at times.” Seungmin said quickly before sprinting down the corridor, knocking over everything in his way. “Hey! Kim Seungmin!” You yelled, running after him.

You panted, grabbing at the receptionist desk as you tried to catch your breath, alongside an equally as breathless Seungmin. “C-can I... okay wait a sec... can you please give us with the files the consultant wished for us to go through?” You asked, out of breath. “Actually, they heard of the mess you made when coming here, so that you both have to clean before you go through the files.” The receptionist gave you a forced smile before turning back to their computer. “How?” You looked at Seungmin incredulously. You shared a knowing look, “...Dr Yoon.” The two of you muttered. “Just take these for now.” The receptionist dumped two full cardboard boxes on the desk, paperwork overflowing from both. Seungmin inhaled sharply, “And when will the paperwork need to be done by?” “Well the consultant isn’t too mean, so it’ll need to be done before ten, seeing the amount of... mess the two of you made.” You plastered a fake smile on your face, begrudgingly taking the box, “Thank you, so much.” “It’s no problem, and hey, good luck with the papers.” The receptionist gave you a small smile before shooing the two of you away, boxes in hand. Cleaning with my rival. How fun. I swear the universe hates the two of us. Why are we always together?

“Oh god, we made a huge mess.” You stared widely at the disastrous corridor ahead of you. Random chemicals were spilt on the ground, with IV drips entangled alongside other equipment scattered throughout the hallway. Wordlessly, Seungmin unlocked the supply closet, handing you a broom whilst he got the mop, not before placing the boxes down in the closet. “You should start on the glass so no one injures themselves and decides to sue the hospital for poor workspace conservation.” Seungmin snapped on gloves, mopping up the chemical residue. “Well, we are in a hospital of all places.” You pointed out humorously. Seungmin rolled his eyes, looking pointedly between the floor and your broom. “Fine...”

As you cleaned in silence, you glanced over at a stony-faced Seungmin, What happened to him? Is he really that upset over what the consultant said? I thought he’d take it as feedback and move on. He doesn’t normally give up like this. Or let things like this phase him for that matter. He’s... admirable in that way. You shook your head in disgust, Ew ew ew, Y/N! I can’t believe I called him admirable.. he’s far from admirable. He’s a pain in my— “Y/N, are you done sweeping that one spot? You’ve been at that spot for the last five minutes. I’m pretty sure you’re just sweeping up air now. Can you help me put the cleaning things away?” Seungmin interrupted your thoughts, collecting up the appliances and heading towards the supply closet. “Oh yeah, I forgot that we left the boxes here.” You stepped into the closet, grabbing one box as Seungmin slipped in after you, turning his back away from the door... a clicking noise resounding in the confined space, the light leaving the room as the door locked shut, the rustling of keys heard from outside the door, carefree whistling following suit. Seungmin whipped around, trying to open the door, “The door’s locked!” “Uh, no duh. Someone’s locked us in, obviously... Who do you think it was? My guess is Dr Yoon.” You accused, running through a list of your potential enemies. “Or it’s our consultant wanting us to resolve all our issues before we go back to work.” Seungmin suggested, sighing as he sat against the door. “It’s... a possibility. Regardless, we should figure out how to get out of here. Do you have your keys or your phone?” You asked, mentally crossing your fingers that he did. “No, it’s in my locker. I’m assuming you don’t either since you asked me.” Seungmin sighed. “Ugh, you know, sometimes I wish you were some kind of mysterious bad boy that somehow did everything really well but also broke the rules for once.” You sighed exasperatedly. Seungmin shot you a disgusted look, “Are you saying that you don’t like me for who I am?” You coughed, “I don’t like you, full stop. Why do you think we have this rivalry? Because I’m some immature high school student that has a crush on you and is mean to you to hide my feelings? No.” Mhm, sure, Y/N... “It’s not like I knew we were going to be locked in a storage closet, anyway.” Seungmin said defensively. “We can’t even do paperwork since there’s no light and we have no device with light.” You complained. “Then let’s just sit and wait. I’ll listen by the door if I hear anyone pass by. Please don’t talk to me. I’m not interested in talking to someone who doesn’t like me at all.” Seungmin pressed his ear against the door. “Fine.” You crossed your arms over your chest, sagging back against the wall. This is going to be a long night...

[3 hours later] “God, I can’t take this any longer! Stop sulking and talk to me. I don’t want to think about being trapped in this room with you any longer than I have to.” You exclaimed, Seungmin perked up, relief flickering in his eyes before moving to a more guarded expression. “Okay, well what do you want to talk about?” Seungmin asked drily. “I don’t know... how about we play 21 questions? You can start.” You suggested. “Fine. I will, even though it’s kind of dumb since I already know more about you than I’d like to. Don’t ask me why. What’s your favourite colour?” He asked, slightly bored. “If you’re bored by asking this question, how bored do you think I am by answering it? Your question was dumb. Mine’s [your favourite colour]. And I already know that yours is purple. Don’t ask me why, either.” You sighed. “Wow, okay. I’d like to see you come up with a more interesting question.” Seungmin said defensively. “Oh, watch and learn my... nemesis? Anyways, my question for you is, if you could have any other profession than this one, what would you have chosen?” You raised your eyebrow. “Oh... I’d be a lawyer... in particular, a prosecutor.” Seungmin said sheepishly. “Why?” You questioned. “The career itself interests me. The criminal justice system is as intricate as some of the cases a doctor would have to cure. The problem solving that goes into trying to figure out what actually happened in a case is the fun part. It’s kind of like solving a puzzle, because all of the pieces eventually will fit together as you piece more and more together from testimonies.” Seungmin explained, eyes lit up in excitement. “You are... really passionate about law. Why didn’t you choose to study that instead of medicine. They’re pretty much are the same in terms of prestige and salary.” You said, confused at his disposition. “I... don’t know.” Seungmin said tentatively, tone slightly confused. “Oh come on, you can tell me. What am I going to do? Use that against you? There’s literally no point of me doing that. Unless you did something really bad and wrong—“ Seungmin cut you off, interrupting you panickedly, “No, Y/N! I actually don’t know.” “You’re telling me that after all this time of having this passion, you haven’t once thought about why you selected a career path completely different to the one you wanted to pursue?” You asked incredulously. “Yes, Y/N. Can you please just not talk? I need to think.” He stood up, pacing the small space, occasionally tripping on things in his way. “Okay, Seungmin, where are you so I can slap some sense into you?” You stood up, holding your hands out tentatively to grab him. “I don’t want you to slap me!” He brushed your hands away, as you grabbed onto one of his. “I meant metaphorically. I’m not going to abuse you.” You rolled your eyes, “Look, I’m not saying this because you leaving would mean that I’m number one in this course. That would obviously be a bonus, but I’m saying this because I’ve known you for a really long time and surprisingly want the best for you. If you’re this passionate about law, you should study it. It’s not as if anyone’s going to complain if you switch, it’s an equally as admirable career option. I think you’ll enjoy it a lot more than medicine by the looks of it. You don’t want to live your life regretting your career options because someone asked you this question in a supply closet and you didn’t act on your uncertainty. You’ll never know unless you try.” A silence filled the room. Not long after the jingling sound returned from outside the door, bright light blinding you as the door opened, a woman screaming as she saw the two of you, Seungmin and you screaming back, confused,  “Oh my goodness. There you guys are! You do realise that you have an hour to do the paperwork, right?” The receptionist from earlier gasped, letting you out. Seungmin placed a hand on your shoulder, stopping you, “Thank you, Y/N. You know, sometimes you can be an intellectual.” “You really need to work on your compliments. Anyways, I’ll see you next week.” You smiled, heading towards the lockers.

“Y/N, I just wanted to inform you of Seungmin’s departure from this course. And before you ask, yes that does mean that you are now officially first place. Congratulations!” Your consultant addressed you before shooing you out to do your work. First place, huh? Oh how the turn tables... I guess he really did take my advice. I’m flattered! I mean... why would I be flattered? I don’t care. Whatever. Hopefully he has fun at law school and whatnot, while I enjoy being first place!

“Oh, Dr Yoon. Hello.” You stopped short, bowing your head slightly in acknowledgment. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t The Honourable First Place themselves? So how’d you get rid of him? Talked him to death?” Dr Yoon taunted. You rolled your eyes, sighing, “No offence Dr Yoon, but I don’t see how what Seungmin decides to do with his life is any of your concern.” Dr Yoon scoffed, “Someone’s defending their man.” “He’s not my— oh, you know what? Whatever. Have a good day, Dr Yoon.” You said passive aggressively, stomping out of the break room.

“Nice work, Y/N! I can see why you’re number one.”

“Hey, Y/N. Can you get these x-rays done before eight?” “I heard that Seungmin’s gone. I guess I’m your new rival now.” The day passed by in a flurry, numerous doctors and nurses congratulating you... and delegating more work to you. Particularly, Seungmin’s workload. You weren’t complaining too much about the compliments, those were nice. It’s just that... work wasn’t as fun as it used to be with a certain someone present. The workload seemed to drag on, and on, your motivation lessening as time progressed. I wonder what Seungmin’s doing now. Probably living his best life and learning about lawyer stuff. He’s probably forgotten about me and this rivalry altogether... “Y/N! Are you coming with us for lunch. We wanted to congratulate you on your ranking!” “Coming...”

You put on a smile as you entered Timmy’s room, “Mr Puppy, is that you?” Timmy called out from his bed. “No, sorry Timmy, it’s just me.” You gave him a small smile, checking his vitals. “Where is Mr Puppy?” He asked, wide eyed. “Oh... look, sweetie, Mr Puppy won’t be able to come to the hospital anymore because he’s... run away? Yeah, he’s run away.” You sighed, sitting on the plastic chair next to the bed. “Have you tried looking for him?” He looked to you, hopeful. “He’s just... I don’t think he wants to be found.” You sighed, slightly bitter. A silence filled the room, the two of you lost in your own thoughts. “I miss Mr Puppy.” Timmy said resolutely. “You know what Timmy, I can’t believe I’m saying this... but me too.”

[21 Dec.] (You) I’m assuming you’re on break now? They aren’t giving us any breaks at the hospital because this is the busiest time, apparently - Christmas and New Years, that is >.< How’s your lawyer stuff going? Are you going to be a lawyer forever? [25 Dec.] (You) merry christmas! you’re probably too busy with lawyer stuff since you haven’t replied to any of my texts. That’s chill... you know, Timmy asked me if I could find Mr Puppy for him for Christmas. Not sure if you remember me or any of the things that went down when we were working together because you’re SO busy... just wanted to let you know :/ [26 Dec.] (You) I don’t understand how many people got candy canes stuck up god knows what. My shift on Christmas was probably one of the busiest shifts I’ve had ever!! The consultant says to wait until New Years Eve to make that call... [30 Dec.] (You) you know what? I give up. I’ve tried engaging in conversation but you’re not reciprocating at all. You can’t be THAT busy. I mean, you just started your law degree. Meanwhile, I’m working long hours at the hospital to cover for both of us... I hate this. Looking at your phone for the billionth time, you sighed, placing it back in your locker and throwing on your coat. The hospital was in disarray due to the spike in demand of the services in the last couple of hours. You had the night shift which was the busiest time, especially on New Year’s Eve. Not to mention that you had to do your usual rounds on top of helping out at the ER. You’d think that the hospital would be prepared for this. Weren’t they the ones that told me that New Year’s was busiest? Dumb mistakes, people getting drunk, etc. It’s so— “Y/N! We need you in the ER pronto!” The consultant stuck his head out of the door to the ER, yelling at you to come over, interrupting your internal monologue. What a way to start off the new year...

Sighing, you watched as more patients poured in, many too drunk to remember anything they had done to end up in hospital in the first place, not helping with your diagnosis process at all. You finished up with your current patient, glancing at the crowd in the waiting room, eyes stopping as they drifted past a familiar figure — Kim Seungmin. Your heart leapt at the sight of him, even if he was more or less dragging his friend (?) into a wheelchair in the least graceful way possible. If dragging someone into a wheelchair could ever be considered graceful in the first place. He dropped his friend in the wheelchair, wide-eyed, making their friend wince from the impact, he looked at them pityingly before meeting your eyes. “Y/N! Stop gawking at the patients and actually start helping them! God, we don’t have enough staff for this.” Dr Yoon yelled at you. Not enough staff, you say... You grabbed a spare coat from the receptionist desk, “Hey, Kim Seungmin! I know you’re some fancy law student at the moment, but we need your help! The hospital’s super short staffed right now, so it’s all hands on deck.” You ran towards him, chucking him the spare coat before pointing him towards the mess of an ER. He placed his hand on your arm, ignoring the beat of your heart, you looked up at him, “Hey, for old times sake, how about we have a competition?” He suggested, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Number of patients? You’re on.” You grinned, rushing towards the masses with him, feeling excited towards your job for the first time in a whlile..

“And that was 34-27. I win, yet again. You know, I always wondered why you were first place when I always won against you in these competitions.” You observed, sighing as the two of you walked through the hospital corridor. “This has nothing to do with performance in exams. Besides, you should know this by now, I—“ You halted him, stopping at the children’s ward, “I’m not sure if you got my texts but Timmy’s really missed you. I don’t really understand why, to be honest. You’re not really that missable but—“ He ignored you, entering Timmy’s room. “Mr Puppy!” Timmy exclaimed joyfully as Seungmin beamed at him. “Timmy, you’re still awake? This late in the evening?” You raised an eyebrow expectantly at him, leaning against the door frame. “I wanted to stay up till the fireworks!” He responded honestly. “Didn’t a nurse come in and watch the 9:00 fireworks with you?” You asked. “It’s fine, Y/N. He’s old enough to decide these things on his own.” Seungmin gave you an amused smile as Timmy sat up straight, nodding seriously at Seungmin’s words. “I also wanted to watch them with you and Mr Puppy, but the nurse said that you were too busy.” Timmy pouted, your heart lurching at his words. “Aww, well, Timmy, since we’re here now, we can stay with you, but not to watch the fireworks, because you should sleep. But Mr Puppy and I can read you a bedtime story if you’d like... and I’ll be here when you wake up in the new year. I promise.” You smiled, approaching the hospital bed. “What about Mr Puppy?” He looked expectantly at Seungmin. “Oh no, honey—“ “I’ll be there. I promise.” Seungmin connected his pinky with Timmy’s. You looked at him confusedly as Seungmin pulled out a children’s book and began to read. He looked at you expectantly, gesturing for you to sit next to Timmy. You sat down, thoughts racing, What does he mean by he’ll be there?

“I think he’s asleep now.” Seungmin quietly shut the book, leading the two of you outside into the corridor. “What time is it now?” “Five minutes to midnight.” Seungmin said a matter of factly, checking his watch. “Okay, question. What do you mean you’re going to come back tomorrow?” You crossed your arms over your chest, looking at him expectedly. “I mean, I’m going to come back tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. Basically permanently because I’m studying medicine again.” He gave you a small smile. “What do you mean you’re studying medicine again? What happened to pursuing your dreams and studying law?” You asked incredulously. “Frankly, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Besides, our professor told me to try it out for a week and then actually consider changing. So I was technically still studying medicine. Also, in that week, I had to help Jisung with a lawsuit, which took up all of my time, hence, why I couldn’t respond to any of your texts because he ended up throwing my phone out... it’s a long story. Anyway, that put me off law altogether.” He explained. “Yeah... I can understand why that put you off.” You nodded. “And... there was one other factor preventing me from pursuing law.” Seungmin said tentatively. “Oh? What’s that?” You asked, heart rate quickening. “You.” He pulled you close, looking at you for permission as you nodded, capturing his lips with yours. As people chorused happy new year throughout the hospital... and being told off by consultants for being too loud, Seungmin pulled back, leaning his forehead against yours. “Y/N, you keep me motivated and the time I spent away from you made me realise how much I need you in my life. Every day I spend with you goes by so quickly because you always keep me on my toes... and you’re the only person that can match me in a battle of the wits.” You smiled at his last sentence, bringing him into a hug, before quickly releasing him. “Well, if it wasn’t clear from the kiss, I like you too. However, that’s the least of my concerns... now that you’re back, what does this mean for my ranking?” You asked, wide eyed. “I think I’d still be in first? Technically I never stopped doing this course.” Seungmin said, confused. “What? No. You can’t be first. I’m first. The consultant congratulated me.” You denied. “I guess you’re just going to have to defeat me again, Supreme Ruler Of Second Place.” He teased, dropping a kiss on your forehead before running to the ER. “Kim Seungmin, God so help me. I will beat you this year!”

➳ part seven?  | masterlist!

[amethystroselilith]

Intertwined Fates (Chilumi/Zhonglumi) - Chapter 5

Yea so... uhm... I may or may have been addicted to anime during vacation and the next thing I knew, uni started again and uhm... we're a month in now... So much for me promising to be active in writing smh...

Also, I learned how to add pictures! Chapter 3 is updated for the ring picture :)

Can be read in ao3 here

SUMMARY:

Plans don't always go the way it is

Lumine can’t help but smile as Qiqi’s laughter filled their living room. Her heart can’t help but melt at the sight of her future husband, and her father pretends to be monsters and make fool of themselves to entertain the little girl. Lumine can’t help but chuckle to herself, her daughter completely has these powerful men wrapped around her little fingers.

“A beach wedding is such a wonderful idea, Lumine! Your aunties and I have founded these locations so far, if they’re not to your liking, just tell me, okay? Your mother will make sure to make your dream wedding happen!” her mother beamed beside her as she splayed out the pictures of potential beach locations on the coffee table in front of them.

Never did Lumine thought there will come a time when her mother and herself will bond like this. Upon confirming their engagement, her mother had been ecstatic; messaging Lumine all potential wedding ideas she can, even creating a board on Pinterest.

While it may be annoying to Lumine, she can’t deny that she’s excited herself. She gently shrugged her mother off at first, claiming that she’s busy with work, but one boring evening when Ajax was busy fixing something at work in his home office, the blonde woman opened the app to see what her mother is up to. She looked through the grand ideas her mother had pinned, they were mostly wedding dresses and accessories. The more Lumine browses, the more her mind starts imagining a wedding scenario, and the next thing she knows, she’s saving beach wedding-related pins and a phone call from her mother popped out of her screen.

Ajax joined mid-conversation and was surprised, and secretly elated that his bride also shares the same excitement of them officially tying the knot.

Never did Ajax thought he would be so invested in wedding planning, he’s more invested in the honeymoon part, but after listening to his fiancée and soon to be mother-in-law for a while, he can’t help but fall in love with the beach wedding idea and started looking at ideas on his own phone, which granted him a collaboration in the Pinterest board they’re working on.

After a promise of her mother looking for venues, the two-hour conversation ended with an excited soon to be wed couple.

A few days after that night, Lumine can’t help but think of her grand day every time she has the chance to. She had been bright during work, always humming softly as she works. Her glow had affected everyone in the bakery, even Xiao who smiled softly and even suggested something for the wedding cake, which Aether will be in charge of.

It surprised the twins, making them stare at Xiao long enough for the said man to be embarrassed and murmured something to forget about it until Lumine expressed her delight at the idea.

The original idea was a beach-themed cake, with the usual sand-like crumbs and seashells. Xiao instead suggested a baby blue coloured cake with frosting smudged on the cake to look like waves.

The day then ended with Xiao and Aether presenting a drawing of their combined ideas, Aether adding some white roses to complete the look.

(AN: Source: https://emmalovesweddings.com/summer-beach-wedding-cakes/summer-beach-wedding-cake-ideas/)

Lumine is in love with it.

“Have you two decided on the wedding date yet by the way?” her mother pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Well, we’re thinking a sunny Summer wedding will be nice? It fits the whole beach wedding theme, and coincidentally, that’s the time Ajax and I will don’t have to worry much about work.” Lumine answered, “It’s also going to be Qiqi’s first Summer at the beach.” she smiled at the scene last night, Qiqi’s eyes wide and curious as Ajax talks about the beach.

Qiqi had never been a huge fan of being under the sun, always preferring to stay under the shade, but from the looks of last night, her daughter seemed to be willing to give it a try, the seashell hunting and castle building especially.

Her mother took note of it on her phone, “Got it, now go ahead and look at these locations, I’ll contact them as soon as we get home.” she smiled.

Lumine hummed as she looked at the potential venues, they look great to Lumine so far, she appreciates the notes her mother stick with the pictures showcasing what each location is known and loved for.

She’s really invested in it, and Lumine wonders where all this energy is when it was her and Zhongli-

Before she could dwell on the thought, she shook her head, gaining a curious look from her mother.

“Sorry, something caught in my eye.” she shrugged it off while pretending to rub her eyes.

She went over the venues again, she managed to pick her top 3 favourites before calling for her groom to be, “Ajax, can you help me choose between these?”

The scene before her paused with Qiqi laughing as she pretends to fly as Ajax holds her up while her grandfather pretends to catch her.

“Sure, wanna help Mama and Papa choose the wedding venues, Qiqi?” Ajax cooed before sitting next to Lumine, putting Qiqi on his lap.

“Yes, Qiqi wants lots of seashells.” the little girl replied as she looked at the pictures.

“I’m sure all of them have lots of seashells, dear.” her grandmother chuckled.

Her mother is right, so it doesn’t really narrow down Lumine’s options, “How about you?” she asked Ajax, intertwining her fingers with his.

Ajax hummed, giving Lumine’s hand a kiss as he looked at the options, Qiqi giggled and offered her own hand, to which Ajax chuckled and give it a light kiss as well before ruffling her hair.

“They’re all good to me.” he shrugged.

“Ah, as helpful as your father was when we were planning our wedding.” her mother joked.

“Hey, I just trust your taste more than mine.” her father defended as he sat next to his wife.

Ajax was about to use the same excuse, but Lumine glared at him, “Don’t you dare.”

He raised his hands in defence, “Alright how about this, we close our eyes and let fate pick?”

Lumine raised an eyebrow.

“What? They’re your top 3 favourites, right? And we can’t choose, so why not give it a try?” Ajax shrugged.

Lumine sighed but agree, “Well, why not?”

With their hands together, they closed their eyes.

Their parents can’t help but laugh, Qiqi giggling in anticipation as she waits for the answer.

Their fingers grabbed a picture.

They opened their eyes,

‘Cool Isle’, it read.

~~~

“Qiqi wants beach wedding too,” Qiqi says, effectively freezing Ajax from cooking.

Lumine snickered from the table, watching and waiting for the man’s reaction. It was almost dinner time when her parents left, so they decided to hang out in the kitchen while Ajax prepares their meal, Qiqi’s colouring on her notebook while Lumine decided to just randomly film themselves. It’s a thing that she loves to do, documenting some of their lives to look back to in the future, and now looks like an interesting memory to laugh at someday.

Ajax turned to them with a tight smile, “No.”

Qiqi pouted, “Why not?”

“Because you’re my baby Qiqi and you’ll be forever, therefore, you’re not allowed to get married,” Ajax explained, pouting when he saw Lumine snickering with no intention of stopping their daughter from her terrifying plan.

“But why?”

“You’ll get three storytimes later if you promise not to get married.”

“Four!”

“Deal. You got that on camera right, love?” Ajax turned to Lumine.

“Oh my god.” Lumine laughed but nodded, “Yeah, I did.”

“You heard that yourself future Qiqi,” Ajax said at the camera.

“Four stories, yay!” the little girl hummed, bouncing lightly as she coloured.

The rest of the evening went quietly, they do their routines, Qiqi falling asleep midway through her first story, and now Ajax and Lumine are cuddling on their bed, the blonde having her back against her lover’s chest while his hands trace random shapes on her hip.

“What are you thinking about?” Lumine asked as she turned to face Ajax.

“Just you walking down the aisle dressed like the goddess you are.” he grinned.

“Really now?” Lumine raised an eyebrow, but Ajax can still see the smile she’s hiding.

“Well, trying to imagine what’s underneath the dress but it doesn’t sound as romantic now, does it?” Ajax teased, earning a playful smack from Lumine.

“It sounds more honest at least,” she retorted back with a playful smile.

“Now I can’t stop thinking of it…”

Lumine can feel something poking her leg, “Stop, it’s a surprise!” she huffed.

“That doesn’t help, love, now I’m more curious.” he groaned as he buried his face against her neck.

“There’s a reason why it’s called a surprise, you know.” Lumine rolled her eyes but still tilted her head to give him space.

“A small preview would be nice though…” he said suggestively before giving her neck a soft nibble.

“Hm, I guess a small sneak peek is fi-”

Lumine didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence for her fiancé just dived in for his meal.

~~~

“Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day, little Qiqi wants to play…” Qiqi sang softly as she traces the raindrops on the car window.

“It looks like it’ll be raining for the whole day.” Lumine observed the sky, “Qiqi, if it’s still raining when school’s done, just stay over Granny Shan’s toy store and I’ll pick you up, okay?”

“Can Qiqi have a new toy?” Qiqi gasped in excitement.

“If you’re a good girl for Granny Shan, then Papa will buy you one.” Ajax chuckled at the sparkle in Qiqi’s eyes.

Qiqi nodded before humming again, this time, livelier as she starts to think of what toy she would want.

“It’s nice we have someone to watch over Qiqi, we might be a little busy today since we’re in charge of the sweets for an event. I’ll make sure to bring Granny Shan something when I pick Qiqi up.” Lumine says as she looked at the notes on her phone to prepare for today.

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate that, babe.” Ajax hummed as he slowed the car in front of Qiqi’s school rather than the bakery, “Fix your raincoat, sweetie, Papa will walk you to school.” he said then waited for the little girl to follow his order.

“Give Mama a kiss and have fun at school, okay?” Lumine smiled.

“Okay! Qiqi’s gonna do her bestest!” the little girl responded before giving Lumine a kiss.

Ajax prepared the umbrella before stepping out of the car to get his daughter.

Lumine hummed and waited in the car. She looked at the toy store across the street, “It looks like they’re opening.” she said as she watches someone in a raincoat and an umbrella try to push up the display barrier to reveal the contents of the shop.

Granny Shan did say someone was helping her run the shop, “Someone looking for his family, huh.” she remembered the old woman saying, though she didn’t get any more information than that, though she did remember the man being nice to Qiqi and buying her a present.

Lumine should also bring him something as a thank you later.

The car door opening pulled Lumine’s attention from the employee.

“Qiqi has her umbrella, right?” Lumine asked.

“Yup, I made sure she didn’t forget it this time,” Ajax answered as he settled inside the car, “Alright, let’s go,” he said as he drove off.

~~~

Zhongli sighed as he shrugs his raincoat off and placing it on the coat rack together with the umbrella. He’s glad he stopped Granny Shan from going outside to open the shop herself. It was a bit tough even for him to push the barriers up with the wind trying to blow his umbrella away, he doesn’t want to imagine how dangerous it would’ve been for her.

“I hope it won’t be raining as much later.” the old woman hummed as she observed the weather.

“The weather news said it’ll be raining but it would be lighter than this,” Zhongli said as he went on about his duties.

“Well, either way, Qiqi would be waiting here, her mother will pick her up later.” Granny Shan said, “Which is nice cause I would love to give her something for their wedding.”

“Wedding?” Zhongli raised his eyebrow.

“Ah yes, turns out the couple isn’t married yet. Qiqi isn’t biologically the groom’s but she was raised by him when her father died from an accident.” the woman explained.

“That’s an unfortunate accident.” Zhongli frowned.

“Ah it was, but her groom is a great man, he said her deceased husband was his best friend, while it may sound controversial, I think it’s great that he takes good care of them, you can see how dedicated and loving he is when it comes to his family.” Granny Shan chuckled, “Maybe you should visit the bakery sometimes, it would be more fun to socialise with people your age than just an old lady like me.” she teased.

“Don’t be like that, I quite enjoy our conversation.” the brunette replied, “But I think it would be nice to meet them, maybe they can help me in searching for my own family.”

“Ah, that would be great as well.” Granny Shan replied, “Well, I’ll go ahead and make us some tea to warm us up.” she said before leaving to the kitchen.

Zhongli hum before continuing his tasks.

~~~

It was five hours after Qiqi’s done with school.

Five hours of Qiqi waiting for her Mama.

And Qiqi is starting to get a little fussy.

By this time, Qiqi would have taken a nap in the private room of the bakery, she would’ve woken up refreshed and would be playing with her Uncles now.

She doesn’t even remember the promise of a new toy, she just wants to go home and sleep.

Granny Shan had offered the sofa in their living room, but Qiqi isn’t comfortable with napping somewhere else than the comfort of familiarity their bakery gives. Even if she knows Granny Shan and Mr Zhongli are good people, she just wants her Mama and Uncles nearby.

Zhongli frowns as Qiqi rejects another snack from him, while Qiqi did have a packed lunch with her, he thought that some sweets will brighten her mood, but all he was getting was a no and a frustrated tired face from the girl.

“Hm, it’s barely raining outside now, why don’t you just walk Qiqi there?” Granny Shan said.

Qiqi perked up at the suggestion, looking at Zhongli with tired and pleading eyes.

“Yeah, I think it would be a great idea, the little one is tired and I think she’d be more comfortable resting with her family.” Zhongli nodded.

Qiqi’s eye lightened, she nodded in agreement before standing up to follow Zhongli.

“Alright, be careful, bye Qiqi.” Granny Shan waved.

Having been in a good mood again, Qiqi smiled and waved, “Bye-bye, GrannyShan!” before grabbing Zhongli’s hand.

It took Zhongli by surprise, he wasn’t offering his hand but it seemed to be a habit of the little girl, which isn’t that bad, it’s safer that way and he’s glad her parents thought her that.

Also for some reason, it gives him a huge sense of comfort.

Gently grabbing Qiqi’s hand and an umbrella, they made their way.

~~~

“Oh my god, I hope Qiqi is fine.” Lumine said as she frantically shoved her things in her purse, “We were so busy no one can come to get her, I couldn’t even prepare something for Granny Shan.”

“Baby, calm down.” Ajax sighed as he wrapped his arms around his stressed lover, hugging her from the back “Qiqi’s in good hands and you guys did amazing for the event, you should rest for a bit,” he said softly before kissing the side of her head.

While Lumine is shy with public display of affection, there is no customer to tend since the bakery was closed early, most of the employees left, Xiao was at the kitchen making sure to clean the last bit before locking up the back then heading home, and Aether had left to pick Keqing up from work. It’s just the two of them in front of the shop, Lumine having cleaned up the counter and tables when Ajax arrived.

“You know how Qiqi is when she doesn’t get her nap, she’s going to be a nightmare to take care of later.” the blonde dreaded.

Ajax chuckled, turned her around and lifted her up to sit her on the table, “I’ll be with you, don’t worry, we’ll handle our little tantrum monster, okay?” he smiled with an Eskimo kiss.

The exact thing Lumine needs to calm down, she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, “How are you always so bright even after work.” she pouted at him.

“Let’s say messing with a certain midget is a great stress reliever.” Ajax grinned mischievously.

“You know one day, you’re gonna get in trouble for pissing him so much at work.” Lumine deadpanned.

“Eh, I only mess with him when it’s a slow day so I’m not disrupting anything at work. Though it had become a game for everyone to bet on who’s gonna fall for whose prank, I have a winning streak of 4 if you’re curious.”

“If our kids become little shits, you’re sleeping on the fucking sofa.” Lumine threatened, though there’s a playful hint in her eyes.

“Such a harsh punishment, love, how will I pass on my legacy?” Ajax faked frowned.

“What legacy? Being a little shit to Scaramouche?” Lumine teased as she poked his cheeks.

“Well, I was thinking our kids vs his, you know? A worthy opponent, their battle will be legendary!”

Lumine laughed, “Ajax, no!”

Ajax grinned, glad that his lover is in a much brighter mood. The talk about their future kids had also brightened him up with excitement, he can imagine Qiqi being the best big sister she can be with the future little ones that’ll be running around their house.

Speaking of which, he should start looking for some renovation plans to handle a bigger family in their home.

A text notified Lumine. She checked her phone and sighed in relief, “Well, looks like Granny Shan sent her employee to walk Qiqi here.”

Ajax hummed before burying his face against her neck, “That’s great, ‘cause I’m feeling comfortable like this.”

“You’re gonna make the man uncomfortable, Ajax.” Lumine pointed out how intimate they look but nonetheless brushed her fingers through his hair.

“Eh, should be expected with a soon to be wed couple.” Ajax shrugged not moving except lifting his face to rest his forehead against hers.

Lumine just chuckled and welcomed the comfort.

“Mama, Papa, Qiqi’s here! Look, Mister, that’s Qiqi’s Mama and Papa!”

[rrickgrrimes8]

Normality is Death

Chapter Thirteen ~ Philippians 1:29

masterlist

"C'mon baby lets go back to our room," Lori said to Jacey, Carl already holding her hand. Jacey nodded following a part of her family down the halls. 

"What's happening, mom?" Carl asked as he watched Lori go to the air vent feeling no air come out, "Mom? Something wrong?" 

Jacey watched her apprehensive mother, "Uh, nothing. It's just... just the air conditioning stopped." 

Lights went out soon after that too which agitated Lori more as did the disappearance of her husband. Sitting at the foot of her parents' bed, she watched as she left the room to talk to Doctor Jenner as he passed quickly. "What's wrong, Jacey?" She heard Addie call to her. 

"Please leave me alone," her hands found their ways to her ears once again seeking to block out any noise. 

"Jacey? You're scaring me... what's wrong?" Addie called to her again, causing her to look up only to see her younger brother worried, "What's wrong, Jacey?" 

"Uh... nothing, squirt. I'm fine," She stuttered, paralyzed by her shock, "Where's mom?" 

"Went after that Doctor. Sent me back to get you," Carl smiled, still perturbed, "You coming?" 

"Yep, Let's go, squirt."

The two younger Grimes' entered the hysterical room, passing their frightful mother on the way out, "Mom what's happening?" Lori didn't respond though, as she continued to run down the corridor and back to the room. Jacey caught wind of Jenner's words about how the French were the last ones to hold out. Well, that was until the fuel ran out. It sunk in deep with the child, there was no cure and there never will be - everything is gone.

Jacey, grabbing the hand of her brother, ran into the room eyeing the now sealed doors. "No. Did you just lock us in?" Glenn panicked, "He just locked us in!" Carl held her hand tighter, the loud noises and consternation becoming at once too much for him. Jacey saw Edwin take a seat at his desk and begin to talk to a camera. 

Bold lettering violated her eyes as the screen switched to black with the red-lettered words of '30 minutes to decontamination'. "Carl! Jacey!" she heard her mom bellow, quickly finding them. Dropping her bags, she wrapped her arms around the two children, kissing both of their heads. 

Daryl endeavoured over to the man in a fit of rage, yelling at him something Jacey couldn't quite catch but was quickly stopped by Shane. She watched as her father pleaded with the stubborn man to open the door, to which he refused. "What happens in 28 minutes?" Rick yelled to the man after he had ignored him the first time. 

"Come on!" Daryl encouraged threatening him with a glass bottle. 

"You know what this place is?!" He snapped, "We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!" Jenner stops to breathe slowly, "In the event of a catastrophic power failure - in a terrorist attack, for example - H.I.T are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out." 

"H.I.T's?" Rick asked. 

"VI, define," he ordered. 

"H.I.T's - high impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist," VI continued but Jacey just blocked it out. They were going to die. They were all going to die. Rick walks over to his family joining in on their hug, mortified by the news. Jacey, however, felt okay, fine really. It didn't bother her that she was about to die - her death never seemed to scare her. What did bother her though was that her family would die too. Carl was too young to die she thought to herself. 

"It sets the air on fire. No pain," Jenner told them after VI had finished, "an end to sorrow, grief... regret. Everything." Jacey smiled through her tears, she was almost looking forward to it as dark as that sounded but she just wanted some peace, a rest. She watched as many grew angry - and in Daryl's case - violent with the doctor. 

Shane and T-dog stayed by the door throwing any and everything they had at it, but none of it making a dent. "You should've left well enough alone... it would have been so much easier," Jenner lent back in his chair, unbothered by the chaos he had created. 

"Easier for who?" Lori spat, clearly angry with the man's decision yet still a great amount of sadness in her words, knowing her children were about to die when they're lives really had just begun. 

"All of you. You know what's out there. A short brutal life and agonizing death," Jacey understood this and observed as he looked to her, "The people you lost, what was their names?" 

"Mitch and Addie," she replied not entirely sure on how he knew, while Rick looked to the man threateningly not wanting her daughter to have any part in his manipulation. 

"And you? Your sister?" he asked now to Andrea, the following was a quiet 'Amy'. "Addie, Mitch and Amy," He looked between Andrea and the girl, "You know what this does. You've seen it. Is that what you really want for your wife, daughter and son?" 

Now looking at Rick. "I don't want this," He almost cried emphatically. 

"Can't make a dent," Shane shouted to Rick, alarmed. 

"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher," Jenner said almost comedically. 

"Well, your head ain't!" Daryl screamed, making his way over to the doctor, axe ready. Dale, Rick and Shane come together once more to hold Daryl and his clear anger issues back, "Daryl! Daryl!" 

T-dog soon wrestled the weapon off of him as Jenner continued to Rick, "You do want this. Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead." Lori's face drops at his words, while Jacey detaches herself from her mother and brother, planting herself on one of the many identical tables. 

"What? You really said that? After all your big talk?" Shane expectorated, almost betrayed at the doctor's words. 

"I had to keep hope alive, didn't I?" He justified to Lori. 

"There is no hope. There never was." 

"There's always hope. Maybe it won't be you, maybe not here but somebody somewhere-" 

"What part of 'everything is gone' do you not understand?" the younger girl interrupted her father, earning an approving nod from Andrea but a pained look from her family. 

"Listen to your daughter," Jenner advised, "She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event." 

"This isn't right. You can't keep us here," Carol cried, "my daughter doesn't deserve to die like this." 

"Wouldnt it be kinder, more compassionate just to hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run out?" Carol still cries as she holds her daughter, but Jacqui nods her head slightly. 

Much like what happened with Daryl, Shane came to the doctor pointing a shotgun right at his face, but this time Rick intervened, "Out of the way, Rick! Stay out of my way! Open that door, or I'm going to blow your head off. Do you hear me?" Jenner remained emotionless as the officer continued to aim for his head. 

"Brother, brother, this is not the way you do this. We will never get out of here, " Rick reminded him. Instead, in a fit of anger, Shane begins to shoot at the computer screens randomly, everyone cowering away from the shots. "We all die, Shane!" he reminded before struggling to get the gun away from him, "Are you done now? Are you done?" 

"Yeah, I guess we all are," Shane disputed. 

"I think you're lying," Rick said to Edwin, "You're lying about no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path, why?" 

"It doesn't matter," Jenner sheepishly said. 

"It does matter. It always matters. You stayed when others ran. Why?" 

"Not because I wanted to. I made a promise," he proceeded to point towards the screen, "To her. My wife." 

"Test subject 19 was your wife?" Lori questioned sympathetically.

"She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no?" Jenner paused, looking to Daryl, who continued to use his axe against the door no matter how useless it was, "She was dying. It should've been me on that table. I wouldn't have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here. In our field, she was Einstein. Me? I'm just... Edwin Jenner. She could've done something about this. Not me." Jacey sighed, feeling the pain of his loss substantially. 

Rick pleaded once more, "Your wife didn't have a choice. You do. That's... that's all we want a choice... a chance." 

"You let us keep trying as long as we can," Lori added. 

Jenner moves over to the desk picking up what looked like a security pad and said, "I told topside's locked down. I can't open those." 

Seconds later, the doors open and everyone begins to rush out of them, "There's your chance. Take it" 

"I'm grateful," Rick smiled, lifting his hand for him to shake. 

"The day will come when you won't be," Jenner said before shaking Rick's hand and whispering something in his ear. 

"You can't go, you know that, right?" Addie says, her voice kinder now, which Jacey was more grateful for. 

"I know. I want to be with you again," Jacey looked to the girl reluctantly, hoping that the walker won't appear again. 

Addie's face - her normal one - came into view, blooming a big smile on the younger girls face, "And you will, love. I'm never going to leave you again, I promise." 

"I love you, Addie." 

"I lov-" Addie's voice was interrupted by a male one "Jacey, c'mon, angel, grab your things. Let's go." 

Jacey shook her head at the man she realised to be her father, "I-I'm not coming." Rick stopped, hoping his ears were deceiving him but then looked at her tear-covered face and realised. 

"No, you're not, baby. Let's go," Lori shouted from behind Rick. 

"Lori just go. Get the others out of here," he ordered his wife, "We're right behind you." The rest of the group stampeded out of the room, Lori and Carl lingering for a short minute, hoping Rick will be able to convince her to join them. 

"Tell him you're sorry, Jace," Addie whispered, holding her hand. 

"I'm sorry but I-I can't." 

"Yes you can, Jacey, please. You're not thinking straight," Rick prayed that she'd see reason and join them, but his heart stopped when she shook her head. 

"I can't anymore, dad. I'm so tired." Jacey looked around the room, seeing that not only Jenner was still here but so was Jacqui and Andrea. 

An arm snaked over her shoulder, squeezing it gently, an arm, belonging to Mitchell, "Tell him to leave, babydoll, and then you'll be with us forever."

 She smiled at his words and then returned her eyes to her father's blue ones, "You have to leave. I want to stay with them." 

"I'm not leaving you here, angel," He cried, tightly holding the sides of her face. 

"Addie was only 16, dad, Mitch was 25. We had children in our camp. I-I should've died with them. I don't deserve to live when they had to die." 

"Listen to me, Jace, you survived for a reason, okay? You don't have to agree with me, but whoever is up there, whatever is in charge made it so you weren't there. So you wouldn't die. They wouldn't want you to die here and now. Your story is not over yet. I won't allow it," Rick wailed, heavier than earlier as he watched his daughter looked to her left and right as if looking at people that weren't there, "Your death isn't going to bring them back." 

"I can't leave them, daddy," She paused, "I already hurt them enough." 

"Who are you talking about, angel?" his voice breaking slightly. 

"Addie and Mitchell," Jacey told him as if it was obvious, "I can't leave them alone again." 

"Addie and Mitchell are dead, baby. They're not here anymore," the man pleaded with his deluded daughter. 

"No," she argued, squeezing her eyes shut, "shut up. You're lying, they're here with me now, they want me to stay. She promised me she wouldn't leave again," Jacey cried, looking at Addie and Mitchell, slowly seeing them morph into their walker forms, "Oh god. No, not again, please, not again. They're going to hurt me, daddy. They're going to hurt me like I hurt them." 

"Hey baby, look at me, only me, okay?" he stopped her from looking to where he assumed she saw them, "No one's gonna hurt you. Addie and Mitchell are gone. They can't hurt you, alright? Now we've got to go, angel, before it's too late." Jacey wanted to nod, to go with him, but the grip that Addie and Mitchell had on her tightened, making her let out a small cry. 

At once, they both turned into their undead self's clawing at her skin instead of holding it, "You can't leave, Jacey. Not when you did this to us." 

"No! Shut up! Leave me alone! I want to live! I don't want to die!" Rick watched the girl breakdown her hands beginning to claw away at any visible skin. The man grabbed her hands, stopping the movement before looking over to the timer seeing it hit the 5-minute mark. 

"I'm sorry, Jacey. I'm so sorry baby," Jacey heard him cry before feeling him move away from her. 

"Jacey, look at me, sweetheart," A kind, shaky voice begged of her. Jacey turned to meet their eyes, seeing a crying Jacqui, "You gotta go, darling, please."

"I can't, Jacqui. I can't keep going on like this," She paused, "I'm not strong enough."

"Yes you are, child. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met, don't ever trick yourself into thinking you're not," Jacqui apprised the younger girl.

"I'm not as strong as you think, Jacqui. Nowhere even close."

"That's where your wrong, sweetheart. You've got a lot of heart and if do say so myself a lot of balls," She smiled at her, "You're gonna survive this world, I'm sure of it." Jacqui stops speaking as she looked at the girl, aware of the mental state, "Look, sweetie, I'm not gonna force you outta that door, as much as I'd like too. I don't want you to die today, Jacey, but it seems like it's going that way so let me tell you something, okay?" Jacey nodded, "And you gotta promise me the moment you understand it you'll leave, you'll survive," she nodded once more, "Philippians 1:29; For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him but also to suffer for his sake." Jacey stayed silent not quite comprehending the meaning of the passage. 

"I don't understand, I don't get it, Jacqui," She cried into her palms.

"That's okay, sweetie, just breathe..." Jacqui refrained, "It means your pain has a purpose, whatever that purpose may be." 

"Do you understand now?" 

Jacey shook her head sadly, "That's okay, take your rest. I will see you once more in another life." Jacey watched as the older woman rejoined Jenner at his computer and observed as she wished that their conversation had gone another way and in some way Jenner also did.

"You have to stay Jace. You said you understood that. Everything will be better if you do," Addie warned, "If you go you will kill every single one of them out there. Do you want that? Do you want them dead? Your dad? Your mom? Carl?" Jacey shook her head manically, her mind flashing unforgiving images of their bodies eaten and unmoving, "So stay with me, my love. Stay, and I'll love you forever." 

Jacey nodded at her before muttering, "I'll love you forever too," causing Addie to smile. Jacey began to move closer to the dark-skinned girl, her face returning back to her natural one. 

"I wanna kiss you, Jace," Addie parted her lips inching towards Jace's. 

"Me too," She replied, shyness shrouding her confidence. 

But before their lips could touch, the masculine voice returned, "I'm sorry, Jacey," following a sharp twinge in her neck. Immediately, she felt a rush of dizziness hit her, Addie and Mitchell disappearing shortly afterwards, "no." She fell off her chair and into a pair of muscular arms, "I'm sorry, angel." 

"Addie," she cried before the darkness took over her. 

[animebaby00]

Early Morning Welcome: Soma Yukihira X Reader - One-shot

Summary: You've already been welcomed in as the newest member of the Polar Star Dormitory, but a certain redhead extends your welcome with a delicious morning breakfast. 

It wasn't your alarm clock that woke you up. 

It wasn't the early morning sunshine peeking in through your curtains or the faint chirping of birds from your closed window. 

It was your nose. 

Or rather the action of your nose inhaling so deeply that it had caused a new aroma to overcome you from the otherwise plain scent of your room and crumpled sheets that were covering nearly half of your face.

And it smelled...delicious. 

With your intrigue fully captured, you swung your legs over the edge of your bed, tossing the covers away into a crumpled heap at the base of the mattress. Feet sliding into your slippers, you stood, and shuffled out of your room. 

Once in the hall, you noticed how quiet it was. All doors were shut with no traces of your fellow dorm mates in sight. 

The smell was a little more powerful now, as it wafted through the air and entered your nostrils. You could only make sense that someone was cooking, and considering this was one of the  dorms to the greatest cooking schools in the world, it supposedly made sense to a certain extent. But still, this early in the morning?

With crossed arms, you slowly padded to the stairwell and took quiet steps to reach the bottom floor, turning to head towards the kitchen. 

Your ears then picked up the sound of clanging pans and the sizzling sound of something being cooked. You sniffed the air again. 

It smelled rich, hearty, and delightedly greasy.

Bacon perhaps? 

Your nose carried you further until finally, you reached the large kitchen of the Polar Star Dormitory. 

And you were right. 

Someone was up and cooking away without a care in the world. 

He was male, lean yet slightly muscular, the curvature of his biceps evident through his thin, blue shirt as he expertly whisked away at a substance heating in a pot over the stove. 

A strip of white fabric was tied around his forehead, contrasting against his slightly tanned skin and vibrant red hair. 

But even though he seemed heavily drawn in by his work, it didn't stop him from noticing your slightly hidden form from out of the corner of his eye.

He turned his head, causing you to stiffen as you met his friendly, golden gaze. His free hand flew up into a wave.

"Hey ! Mornin Y/N !" 

His greeting caught you off guard, especially since you weren't too familiar with your new dorm mates yet. They welcomed you humbly the night before and you could only recall a few of their names in full. 

Still, he had greeted you and you didn't want to be rude, but…

"G-Good morning. It's...Soma, right ? Sorry, I... don't remember your last name." You admitted shyly, "I would have addressed you as such but I didn't really get a chance to memorize the names of everyone here."

"Ah, don't worry about it," he shrugged off, "The formality isn't necessary. But you're okay with me calling you Y/N aren't ya?" He asked, flashing you a toothy grin.

You nodded, finding a strange, immediate comfort in his friendliness,"Yeah. Absolutely."

"Awesome!" he stood straighter, extending his right hand out while he continued whisking,  "I know last night was a little crazy so I'll go ahead and introduce myself fully. Soma Yukihira. It's nice to meetcha."

You smiled warmly, stepping fully into the kitchen and over to where he stood, reaching your hand out to grasp his in a shake.

"Y/N L/N. It's nice to meet you too."

He flashed another smile, before letting go of your hand and turned back to the stove. 

You tilted your head at him thoughtfully. 

Even though you just met, you were very intrigued by this boy and for some reason, you wanted to know more about him. 

But just as you opened your mouth to speak, he beat you to the point.

"Say, Y/N. Are ya hungry ?" 

You blinked. This boy certainly had his ways of catching people off guard, but you answered him nonetheless.

"Uhm...maybe a little. I guess."

"Perfect. Go and sit. I'll make you something."

"Uh, no it's okay !" You waved your hands in front of your face, "You don't have to."

"I've already kinda got a head start anyways. Go ahead and take a seat. It won't take long "

You held your breath, thinking that there wasn't any way to turn down his offer, mindlessly adding 'persistent' to the unknown list of traits you were giving him in your head. 

Soma turned away, going back to the stove as you made your way to one of the seats at the bar, pulling out the chair and situating yourself comfortably, a palm resting on your cheek while your arm propped itself up on the counter. 

There weren't any other sounds in the kitchen beside the occasional chop of a knife and the continued sizzle of food being cooked. And even though you practically had a front row seat of his actions, you had no idea what Soma was making. 

He was very quick and precise with his actions, his timing with everything near perfection and you were completely transfixed as he moved almost gracefully with nearly everything he did.

"Do you do this alot ?"

He looked up, "What ? Cook?" 

You shook your head, "No. I mean obviously you cook because why else would you be here." Your hand gestured to the clock on the wall, which currently read 6:15 AM, "I mean cook this early in the morning, and for other people so randomly like this."

"Well in a way," he started, cutting a lemon and squeezing the juice into a pot, "My dad and I own a family eatery and we opened pretty early in the morning. But most of the time, it's just to get in some early practice." 

"Practice ?" 

"Uh huh. I mean I won't get any better if I don't experiment and work with different things. And if I don't get better, then I'll never beat my old man." 

His words piqued your interest, "What do you mean 'beat him' ?" 

Soma looked up at the ceiling, "He and I battle in the kitchen sometimes, but I have yet to whip up something better than him." He clenched his fist, "He's one of the greatest chefs there is, and it's my goal to beat him one day along with being the best chef at this school so I'm good enough to run our eatery." 

You smiled, admiring his determination, "Guess that video means you weren't lying then." 

He tilted his head, "Video? What video?" 

"The girls showed me a recording of your speech at the entrance exam. I didn't get a chance to see it since I was late arriving here. You seemed really dead set and," Your hesitated, remembering the angled shot of the people in the crowd and how poisonous their features looked,"...A lot of people looked sort of mad at you."

"Did they? Huh. Guess I didn't notice."

You practically fell over. Of course he didn't. For someone to have such big aspirations and goals, he was kind of an airhead. 

But you honestly kind of appreciated it. For some people, it took a lot to ignore the negligent opinions of others, but Soma seemed to shrug any bad omen about him off completely. 

You sort of...envied him.

"All right, breakfast is served !" 

Your thought bubble popped once his voice breached the air, looking down at the plate he had placed in front of you.

And what you saw had your E/C irises snapping open in shock. 

They were pancakes, thick and fluffy, cooked to a golden perfection while the middle remained a delightful off-white. There were two of them, stacked and topped off with pieces of crispy, pan fried bacon that stuck out delicately from their placement on top of the fluffy mounds. A deep yellow sauce cascaded from the top and over the edges, it's supposed thickness adding a strange elegance to the dish, making even the mediocre light in the kitchen glisten off of its polished finish. And the whole thing was garnished with a pinch of parsley. 

You were completely awestruck.

"Well ?" Soma inquired, that same grin plastered on its face, "Aren't you gonna try it?" 

You looked up at him, still totally bewildered, "I-Well, yes but it...it almost looks too beautiful to eat. Like I'd be destroying a piece of art or something." 

Soma laughed, "Well I'm definitely happy that it's pleasing to the eye. But good food is meant to be eaten so don't think you're ruining anything." He gave you a thumbs up, "Go ahead and enjoy !"

You smiled softly and picked up the fork and knife he had laid out next to the plate, preparing to cut off an edge of the pancake.

"Ah, wait !" 

You looked up, "What's wrong ?"

He folded his arms, "Cut it right down the middle."

"....Huh ?"

"Just trust me."

You blinked, your next words trailing out with confusion, "O….k…."

He gave you a wink and watched as you moved again to cut into the pancakes, but this time, right down the middle like Soma had told you. 

Your knife glided right through the top, piercing what you thought was the pancake. That is, until a rich, orangey-yellow substance burst out and flowed down the edge of your knife and soaked through the fluffy center of the pancakes while also mixing with the thickened sauce below. 

"Woah…" you breathed. 

"Doesn't take much to wow you, I see." Soma chuckled, "Now make sure to get everything together."

You nodded slowly, taking care to create what looked like a perfect bite of fluffy, rich, and crispy.

Lifting the fork to your mouth, your lips encompassed it fully before pulling it back out clean and your eyes widened again as your mouth went to work in letting everything glide over your taste buds. 

So much flavor and so many different textures. 

The pancake was just as soft as it looked. The bacon was still crispy, even as you noticed it's thicker cut in biting it with your teeth. The sauce was thick and absolutely divine, buttery with a hint of acidity.

Acidity.

The lemon you saw him squeezing earlier.

Its classic yellow color. 

Hollandaise sauce.

You inwardly gasped, now tasting and recognizing the other component of the dish that had burst out when you had cut into it.

It's smooth subtlety mixed perfectly with everything, the taste so familiar and oddly vibrant even though it was an extremely common breakfast food whether scrambled, boiled, fried, or in this case, poached.

"So what do you think ?"

You savored it for as long as you could before finally, you swallowed, refraining from taking another bite of what tasted like heaven on a plate so you could answer the red head.

"It's... incredible!" 

Soma grinned, watching as your eyes quite literally started to sparkle which each additional bite you took.

It didn't take long for you to finish, and when you did, you sat back happily, humming as you relished in your delightful fill.

Soma leaned over the counter, "I take it you liked it ?" 

You nodded eagerly, " Mmhm ! I've never had pancakes like this before. It was so unique! Everything fits so well together! The bacon, the Hollandaise sauce, and was that a-"

Soma snapped his fingers, "Egg ? Yep ! You're exactly right ! You definitely know your stuff ! What you had there were Souffle Pancakes Eggs Benedict style. Not a lot of restaurants serve it and it was my first time making it. Kinda risky but I wanted to welcome you somehow."

You tilted your head up with a smile, "Well...you definitely did. Thank you, Soma." 

He beamed, removing the strip of fabric from his forehead and tied it around his arm, "Your Welcome, Y/N." 

You weren't sure if it was from the meal you just had, but you felt full, especially when it crossed over on just how thoughtful Soma had been to you even though you just met.

Come to think of it, everyone had been thoughtful the night you had arrived. 

You had been so nervous to cook for Miss Fumio, but you proved all successful in the end after she had tasted your dish. Everyone had been eavesdropping to see how you would do and surrounded you with all the congratulations in the world once you passed. 

Everyone celebrated that night with a feast and you appreciated their kindness with every out of gratefulness you could muster. 

They accepted you and wanted you to succeed.

No one at this dorm was at each other's throats like other students you had seen, especially the ones you had seen on the video of Soma at the entrance ceremony. 

No, everyone here was considerate and friendly with a want for everyone to do their best even if they had powerful aspirations of third own.

Wholeheartedly, you did feel welcomed, and Soma's actions increased that feeling tenfold.