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[eaglyn]

Mr. Crazy and Mrs. Crazier | Dottore x reader smut

Warning: gore, human experimentation, dismantling of a human heart, psychopathic behavior Not proofread

You were just about the perfect being that he could imagine. In his eyes, you were smart, entertaining and downright gorgeous. Normally, Dottore wouldn't think such things about anything he didn't create himself, but you? You were different. You were perfect.

You were a very successful graduate of the Sumeru Akademiya's Amurta Darshan, some even say that you're the most promising student the Amurta Darshan's ever had. That was arguable. On the other hand, it was an unarguable truth that you were insane. You had about as much regard for human life as Dottore, or maybe even less. They tried to change you for some time, after all your knowledge and talent was definitely in the wrong hands considering your usual projects, which more often than not included human experimentation.

Obviously, they failed. When Dottore joined the Akademiya, he heard news of you, and he was intrigued. He searched for you day and night, week after week until you finally decided to see what his deal was, and once you saw his... creative potential, to speak lightly, you decided to teach him all sort of messed up tips and tricks, from the easiest way to disassemble a human body to reconstructing a human body with mechanical parts.

And that should give anyone the understanding of why and how Dottore was kicked from the Akademiya. When they learned of your cooperation with him, they were all but thrilled. In fact, they were mortified.

Dottore and yourself turned into a wicked pair, eventually ending up serving the Tsaritsa, but while he became a Fatui Harbinger, you just remained in the shadows, but eventually earning the rank number 2.5, as you and him practically came as a package deal. You continued working together for centuries.

Unlike you, he had to resort do different means of achieving a long lifespan, but you were always by his side to give him new ideas and help him out with whatever he needed. As such, you went from his mentor to his lab assistant who would sit atop a countertop in his laboratory and entertain him.

Fatui agents would often hear howling laughter coming up from the lab as you two were working on a new project, and could only imagine which part of cutting young humans up was it that entertained the two of you so much.

In reality, you could turn anything into entertainment.

"Why are you holding the scalpel like that? It looks like you're trying to use it as a chopstick." You raised your eyebrows at one of his most recent techniques.

"Criticize all you want, princess, but it's easier from me to cut at this angle. See?" He maneuvered around the current test subject's ribs, attempting to cut her heart out, having a prototype machine in hand.

"Or you could've just removed the ribs? Why are you so afraid to put the device down, it's not like we didn't sanitize everything a few minutes before starting this experiment." You rolled your eyes.

"But we always take the ribs out, and putting them back is such a pain."

"For you. I thought I gave you a detailed demonstration on how to reattach nerves properly. Also, how do you want to take out the heart with everything still in the way?" You crossed your legs, feeling that you've won the debate.

"By taking it apart, of course. The machine is also attached piece by piece, so the lack of open space won't be a hindrance." He grinned back at you.

"Excuses, excuses." With that, you went back to constructing some random trinket out of spare parts.

After a while, he finally managed to remove the heart, taking all the bits in his hand and raising them in the air victoriously.

"AHA! I've succeeded- oh shit..." He dropped one of them onto the floor. He placed the prototype heart down onto a sterile field, along with the scalpel before walking over to you. "Here, I shall give you my heart." With that, he dropped the dismantled pieces onto your lap, staining your pants with blood.

"Ew, you ruined my pants!" You grabbed a few pieces and launched them at his face as a payback.

"How dare you? I give you my heart and you just throw it away? Why so cruel, Y/n?" Both of you break out laughing like maniacs as you continue throwing bits of the test subject's heart at each other.

"Alright, alright, let's compose ourselves now." You said, gathering the bits before throwing them into a jar.

Dottore installs the prosthetic heart and sews the person back up, and after he was done with that, the two of you transported her to a cell.

"Now we just wait to see if the transplant was successful." You hummed in response, glancing down at your bloodstained pants again.

"Oh come on, those are just pants, Y/n." The blue haired man said with his arms crossed over his chest.

"But I liked these pants." You pouted. They were white shorts tailor made for you, and you knew that you'd never be able to get the blood out of the expensive material.

"Well I prefer you without pants, you don't see me complaining." He stepped closer to you, settling himself between your legs as you sat on the countertop. "And without a shirt too."

You grinned, leaning in to kiss him, and he eagerly kissed back, while his hands were already creeping up on your torso underneath your shirt.

"In that case, remove them, Doc." And he just did that. He grabbed the hem of your shirt and lifted it over your head, attaching his lips to your neck while you pulled your arms out of the shirt, tossing it onto the ground.

You moaned softly as he continued sucking hickeys onto your soft skin, working on removing the belt from around your waist. When that was done, he pulled your pants down, tossing them onto the floor before going for your neck again, meanwhile his hand pulled your panties aside and he started rubbing your clit with two fingers. You threw your head back, moaning when you started feeling a knot forming in your stomach, but then he pulled his hand away.

"Oh come on." You said, scrunching up your eyebrows.

"It's not fair if you get all the fun and I don't get any." He said before stripping himself of his clothes and going back to you. He unclipped your bra, pulling it off of your body and tossing it away before hooking his finger around your panties and ripping them off.

He took a breast in his hand while using the other to rub the tip of his cock over your clit, lubricating it in the process.

"Please just put it in." You whined.

"As you wish, princess." With that, he shoved his cock into your entrance. No matter how many times you've done this, the first few seconds always hurt. His cock was big by all definition, almost too big. The length couldn't even fit all the way in, while the girth was so thick that you felt like your walls were being thorn apart each time. He slowly pulled out before going back in, letting you adjust a little before he started thrusting at a steady pace.

You hummed in pleasure, feeling his veins graze against your walls, and it was like a little spark ignited inside your stomach every time his tip kissed your cervix. He continued thrusting steadily until he started to see signs of impatience on your face. Then he decided to speed up, kissing you hungrily before doing so.

He shoved his tongue into your mouth as he was thrusting inside you, squeezing your breast once in a while as well. You were a moaning mess, gripping his muscular back with your hands.

The way he felt inside you was intoxicating. You were addicted to him. Only he could make you unfold this way. The way he kissed you with such lust and hunger, and he knew all your most sensitive spots. He knew just how to reach that sweet spot that made you scream out loud in pleasure each time, and when he'd do that, he'd speed up and start thrusting into you at an inhuman speed right afterwards. You felt like your insides were being rearranged, while he just grunted into your ear, telling you how nice and tight you were, just for him.

After all, nobody has seen you like this. Not for a very long time, at least. And you were only the happier to know that you were the only one that he fucked like this, and the only one that he'd keep in his lap, cockwarming him as he did paperwork or some other task that would be way too boring other wise.

And just as always, now too he managed to time his release to yours, and he moaned out loud as your walls clenched around them while he shot his cum deep into you.

But he didn't stop after that, he never does. He waits until you get down from your high before thrusting into your overstimulated pussy for three more rounds, until there is cum dripping down from the edge of the countertop and both of you are completely exhausted.

Dottore then grabs you by your thighs, his cock still buried deep inside you, and he sits down on a sofa, where you both take a nap.

At times like this, it's not only the psychopathic hollering of two maniacs that the Fatui Agents hear, but also the way that he makes you completely lose your mind in pleasure.

[thecrystalquill]

A/N: The crossover continues! Last chapter of the year I think, so happy holidays and you'll hear from me soon! P.S. Hermione Granger isn’t the perfect, well-behaved goody-two-shoes everyone makes her out to be and I will die on that hill!

Leave a like and comment when you reach the end :)

Masterlist Series Masterlist Introduction Your First Year Letter

Chapter Twelve ~ A Revelation

Mail came on Monday morning, owls flying overhead dropping parcels and letters on people’s laps. Mortis stood out, as always, with his vast wingspan and long neck. Most of Slytherin House were getting used to his presence, some barely even flinched when a woosh of air knocked passed their heads, but thankfully there were still a few who startled at the sight enough to screech. It certainly boosted his ego.

(Y/N) was sat adjusting the clips in her hair when he landed on the table, dropping a small package on her plate of eggs and toast, then hunching over the table to stare menacingly at a third year nearby with a plate full of bacon and bread. She smirked as the boy whimpered at the eye-contact, holding out his sandwich with a shakey hand and trying not to scream when the vulture snatched it from his grasp.

“He’s not havin’ much,” Saoirse commented, eating a poptart from the pack her parents had sent.

Holding up the parcel, (Y/N) noticed some red smudges on the package and nodded. “I can see why.” She said, taking a knife from the table to cut the string holding the letter onto the box, showing Saoirse the stained brown paper. “He already ate.”

As usual, the envelope was charcoal with shining black wax displaying the Addams crest. With the table knife firmly in her grasp, (Y/N) sliced open the top with ease, taking out the pages to read.

She’d sent her letter on the Saturday afternoon, eager to re-tell the events of the Quidditch match, knowing her family would be interested. She hadn’t expected a reply so soon, but was glad for it all the same. This time, (Y/N) recognised her mother’s neat, swirling penmanship on the pages.

Dear (Y/N),

Thank you for the photographs – Quidditch seems absolutely marvellous. We are delighted that you had such a nice time, & Pugsley is more eager than ever to learn to fly a broom, perhaps you can teach him what you have learnt in your lessons when you return. We are so very pleased that you have made a new acquaintance, what a good influence she seems – setting fire to a teacher. We should have to meet her.

Wednesday apologises for not being able to write to you this week, but she & Pugsley were playing in the kitchen and she burnt her fingers on Grandmama’s cauldron. Though she cannot write with it, she is rather disappointed that she will have no scarring to show for it.

I hope you have been doing well with your studies & your own ambitions; your father reminds you that he will be testing your sword skills when you return in December, & Wednesday will be very disappointed if you will not be of enough challenge (in her own words, of course, darling).

We hope you enjoy your gift for this week – darling, if you had told us sooner that there was no coffee at Hogwarts we would have sent you some ages ago. How dreadful for you. I have no doubt you’ll savour it now, & do tell us when you run out next time.

Your father & I are missing you torturously, the house feels so different in your absence. We simply cannot wait to see you again.

Have a wonderful time, & do tell us of any trouble you make. Reply soon.

With love and pain,

Your mother & family. X

(Y/N) smiled at the letter as she placed it back into the envelope, then quickly began opening the small box before her. The smell of ground coffee wafted through the air as she pulled the bag out; it was strong and of good quality, but most importantly it was the instant kind; hot water was far easier to get than a coffee machine, after all. And to the side of the bag, she was pleased to find a new mug to pair with it, a polished black skin and deep red interior, a red cat’s eye decorating the front. Immediately she began looking for a teapot and sugar to put in her mug, excited to have her first coffee in months. “How long do we have until we have to be in class?” She asked to whoever would answer.

Bridget, who was sat two seats away, leaned over to answer. “Fifteen minutes,” she said, downing the rest of her pumpkin juice and reaching for her bag.

(Y/N) nodded and began mixing three spoons of coffee into the hot water she’d managed – luckily the pot had just enough left for one cup. “I guess I’ll just bring this with me then.”

The girls rushed through the chilly stone hallways towards the Transfiguration classroom, (Y/N) grasping her mug with both hands like it was the most dear thing in the world, ignoring Saoirse’s whispered giggles as she chanted ‘my precious’ over her shoulder (which Bridget didn't understand at all).

Professor McGonagall was writing on the chalkboard as they entered the classroom and took their seats, talking amongst themselves. (Y/N) spotted Hermione already sat down and waved, pleased to see the girl wave back. “Miss Addams,” McGonagall addressed her calmly, drawing a few eyes her way, “I do remember telling you all that beverages are not allowed in my classroom.” She reminded with a raised brow.

(Y/N) hesitated in her seat, then let out a deep, tortured sigh and quickly drank the last five gulps and slipped the empty mug into her bag, wishing she could have savoured it a little longer and not scalded her mouth.

(Y/N) was starting on the B’s in the Divination section of the library, piling up any books that could be useful before joining Saoirse and Rahim at a table. They had become a sort of study group, helping each other with their work. Rahim slowly started to become more comfortable around (Y/N), now that he knew she wasn’t evil or insane like some of the earlier rumours suggested. He was good at DADA and Charms, found History of Magic painfully boring, and occasionally made a joke or comment dark enough to earn a snicker from her. And he was always telling Saoirse some new and interesting fact he’d read about when he was supposed to be focusing on a different subject.

As December drew nearer, teachers had started handing out more and more homework before the holidays, and the library was always full because of it; no one wanted to fall behind and have to take any of it home.

So far, (Y/N) was enjoying most of her subjects for this term – they were all so much more interesting than anything she would have learned in a plain muggle secondary school. Herbology was proving to be incredibly interesting, all of those dangerous plants waiting to bite your hand off or poison your lungs. Perhaps she could snatch a seed or two to give her mother for Yule, a Venemous Tentacular would look spectacular in the greenhouse.

She hadn’t expected to be given written homework for flying class, though. But she supposed it made sense; brooms were a mode of transportation, after all. She had to write about the different manoeuvrers they’d learned, and how to perform them, the different positions in Quidditch, and a whole list of the rules. It was a lot of work, but if (Y/N) wanted to get a broom for her birthday she would have to do well in class.

It was just a little difficult to focus enough to get things done when her mind was set on other things.

Tapping her quill on her parchment, (Y/N) let out a sigh and rolled her neck, hearing Saoirse and Rahim talking about Charms in the background. She was just about to give up on her final paragraph when she saw a familiar head of bushy brown hair pass down the bookcase to her left. “Hermione.” She voiced, half a whisper and half a shout, seeing the girl turn around and peak her head out from the corner.

The Gryffindor approached her desk, smiling shyly with some books clutched to her chest. “Hello,” she said, looking to (Y/N)’s friends.

“Would you like to sit with us?” (Y/N) asked – if she was going to start having friends she might as well commit (she’d never had many before, so what was there to lose?). She gestured to the seat in front of her, beside Rahim who smiled at her.

“Oh,” Hermione blushed, looking a little caught off guard, “really?”

“Sure ya can,” Saoirse agreed with a grin, “we’re just studyin’.”

Hermione nodded and sat down next to the Ravenclaw, blushing at all the attention. It was then that (Y/N) figured Hermione didn’t have a lot of friends, she seemed so taken aback by the offer and flustered by the eyes on her, and like she didn’t quite know what to say. “This is Rahim and my roommate Saoirse,” she introduced, glad that Hermione was settling herself as she repeated her name back.

“We’re just working on the Charms homework,” said Rahim, letting his hair fall into his eyes – a nervous habit (Y/N) had noticed, “have you done it yet?”

Hermione nodded and pulled on her sleeve. “I was working on it earlier, but it got a bit busy in my common room so… I came here.” She nervously answered, adjusting her red and gold tie.

“None of your friends worked on it yet?” Saoirse asked innocently as she fiddled with the wrapping of a lollipop, offering one to Hermione.

Shaking her head, the brunette seemed to flush again. “No, erm, I don’t mind studying with them, but they always ask me to read over it for them and I’m starting to figure out that it’s how they make sure they’re getting the right answers.” She explained with the corner of a smile. “I just tend to work faster on my own, is all.” Then her eyes widened as she stumbled to correct herself. “N-not that I don’t want to sit with you! I do – I just meant--”

“It’s alright,” (Y/N) interrupted, dipping her black quill into her ink and continuing to write, “we get it. You can sit here whenever.” She said, looking to the others for confirmation, who nodded in agreement.

“Oh, okay.” Hermione let out a breath, taking out her own writing supplies with a more genuine smile. “Thank you.”

The four of them continued on their homeworks, occasionally asking for an answer or opinion, or starting a discussion about a relevant topic. Hermione started to come out of her shell some more, chatting nicely with the group. Before (Y/N) knew it, she was completing her last essay and finally opening one of the Divination books she’s chosen to skim: Answers in the Remains: A Study in Bone-Throwing by Matilda Marrowe.

“That’s an interesting choice,” Hermione commented, pointing to the cover with the end of her quill, “we don’t get to study Divination until Third Year, though.” She said, obviously curious about the reason for her read.

(Y/N) hesitated her answer, unsure of what to say and what to leave out. She had been keeping this whole Contact a secret, even from her family – even from Wednesday – but then again, so far she’d come up with nothing, maybe she could use some… input.

Glancing at her other two friends, seeing them distracted by an in-depth discussion on Animagi, (Y/N) decided it wouldn’t be so bad to reveal a little. “I’m… looking for something,” she began, “but I don’t know where to look, so I’m looking for some clues to give me… I don’t know, some sort of a start.”

Hermione frowned in thought, tapping her finger on her book. “Well, what are you looking for exactly?”

(Y/N) shrugged. “I’m not sure.” But she realised that her vague answers weren’t getting her any help, so she relented and leaned in close. “On Hallowe’en, I performed a séance,” she whispered, ignoring how Hermione’s eyes widened in fear, “I was supposed to make Contact with my grandparents, but I accidentally spoke to someone else.” She explained, hearing Hermione gasp. “They told me to find something, but they faded away before they could tell me what.”

Hermione seemed to ponder this for a moment, looking weary but interested nonetheless. “So, you want to figure out what the Message could mean?” She asked, biting her lip when (Y/N) simply shrugged in frustration. “Well… have you tried to… you know, get back in touch?”

(Y/N) grimaced. “Well, no. But it will be more difficult now that Hallowe’en has passed and the Veil is stronger; it was hard enough to keep a Connection before as it was. I don’t have enough experience to do it safely.”

“Well, isn’t there something else you can do? Maybe anything in the Message you could look into some more?” Hermione asked.

(Y/N) gave Hermione a suspicious look, fiddling with the pages of her notebook. “You don’t seemed to be freaked out by this.” She said bluntly, leaving an open question hanging.

“Well, as far as magic goes, I suppose séances aren’t that bad,” she said surprisingly, “there’s some old ladies down my street who do them, not that I ever thought they were really doing much. I’m sure they just have an Ouija board and talk in silly voices.”

(Y/N) laughed then, nodding at her new friend. Yes, her parents would certainly like this one. “Aren’t you full of surprises – first degree arson and now an enabler of amateur Dark Magic. Not such the teacher’s pet after all.” She grinned, making Hermione laugh and shush her.

Despite being only a year younger than (Y/N), Wednesday often seemed to have wisdom beyond her years. She was very well-read, took pride in her knowledge, and enjoyed a good mystery. For these reasons, (Y/N) knew she was her best option for advice on this little paranormal problem. Of course, it helped that she was the one person (Y/N) knew she could always be honest with.

Which was exactly why she was writing to her now.

Dear Wednesday,

I know you’ve burnt your hand and are unable to write, but please respond as soon as you are able. Something rather strange has happened and I’m not sure what to make of it, but trying to work it all out on my own has been too difficult.

Glancing to the opening journal on her desk and the scattered sketches laid over the black pages, (Y/N) twirled her quill and decided how exactly to phrase what she wanted to write.

First, please do not repeat any of this to a single soul – this is strictly our secret – not even our parents can know.

When I wrote home after Hallowe’en, I said that I had failed to Connect with our grandparents, which is true, but what I didn’t write is that I accidentally made a Connection with someone – or something – else.

(Y/N) recounted the entire evening in her letter, describing the Visions she’d had in as great details as she could. Everything from the noise she’d heard in the Dungeons to the weakness she’d felt after the séance.

She wasn’t really sure what Wednesday could do to help, or what advice she may give, but (Y/N) realised she was hitting a wall in this maze of questions. Who better to trust?

Please reply as soon as you can, anything you can give me at this point I’m sure will help.

Awaiting your reply,

(Y/N)

Sealing the letter with the red wax from her candle, (Y/N) stamped it closed and sat back, studying her sketched out Visions again. Where to begin? The charcoal figure reaching out in the dark mocked her, like it was asking ‘why can’t you figure it out?’ every time she looked at it.

The air was bitterly cold outside, but the chill clung to her comfortably. There was an old tree near the edge of the Forbidden Forest that (Y/N) had set her eye on. A tall, old holly tree with a wide trunk and sharp leaves; its red berries were plump and poisonous, a beautiful thing. A raven sat perched on one of the branches, staring down at her with watchful dark eyes, unbothered by her presence.

She was in need of the alone time, and getting out of the castle for a while would do her some good. There wasn’t anywhere close by to practice her sword skills, and she wasn’t sure if her weapon would be confiscated. The séance was one thing, but Wednesday would certainly have comments if she returned home and her swordsmanship skills had declined.

Lunging forward, (Y/N) swung her rapier from the left, slicing the bark of the twisting tree trunk as it hit. She spun in the other direction and swung out her blade again, hitting the wood with practiced accuracy. The skirt of her black coat swished out with each movement, buttoned up out of the way.

It was therapeutic, in a way, a way to take out her frustrations. The repetitive motion of hitting her target and her smooth footwork soon tamed her anger. Why couldn’t this spirit just tell her what to do? Why should she have to do it all herself? What would happen if she simply ignored the whole thing and did nothing?

Nothing good, her intuition told her. If someone had contacted her from the Beyond with a Message, ignoring it would almost certainly anger them, and who knows what may happen then?

The first snow of the season was starting to settle, a thin layer of white coating the ground, but beneath the forest trees (Y/N) was sheltered from it. It was nice; snow always brought such deep silence, a peace like no other. It was exactly the calm she needed.

What she didn’t need was an interruption.

The forest was so cloaked in silence that even the smallest snap of a twig sounded much louder than it was; (Y/N) whipped around immediately, rapier flying out in her outstretched hand.

“Merlin’s pants!” Cried the person standing at the other end of her blade, the sharp point just inches from their nose.

(Y/N) lowered her weapon and scowled. “What are you doing here?”

The boy frowned back and tightened his green scarf around his neck, still eyeing the sword warily, as if she was going to lift it up and slice at his face (he pondered that she probably would if he pushed her buttons too much). “I should ask you the same thing.” Malfoy replied, wondering how she’d managed to sneak a weapon like that into the school.

“I asked first.” (Y/N) said, gripping the hilt in her dominant hand in frustration.

Malfoy scoffed. “I’m not answering until you do.”

The nerve of this boy, (Y/N) thought. First he interrupts her peaceful afternoon in the forest, where she was supposed to be alone and away from prying eyes like his – and then he tries to bargain an explanation from her with the argument of a child!

Well, they were actually children… but the poor argument was still beneath him.

Sighing in frustration, (Y/N) relented; too tired to play his stupid games. “I’m practising.” She answered with a glare.

“Practising what?”

“Oh I’m golfing- what do you think?” She spat sarcastically, waving her blade at her side to draw his eye to it. “Now, why are you here?” She repeated in annoyance as she sheathed her sword, not feeling much like striking the tree in his judgemental presence.

He shrugged, toeing his shoe in the damp earth. “Just walking, felt like doing something I’m not supposed to.”

It probably shouldn’t have, but the answer surprised her; Draco Malfoy didn’t seem like the type to risk getting into trouble just for the sake of it. Then again, she didn’t know him very well.

The Forbidden Forest was completely out of bounds to unsupervised students, with the exception of the Care for Magical Creatures clearing just at the edge of the woods – even the faculty was advised against lone entry, for the many dangers that lurked in its endless shadows. It was exactly why it made for such a nice walk when in need of some space; so perhaps they were there for much the same reasons.

“How’d you sneak that in?” Malfoy asked after a stretch of silence, leaning against the birch tree beside him.

(Y/N) glanced down at the simple black sheath that hung at her hip and rolled her eyes. “Everyone at this school is carrying around what is potentially the most harmful weapon in existence and you’re worried about a sharp peace of metal?”

The boy’s brows furrowed as he seemed to contemplate it. “I didn’t think of it like that…”

“Of course you didn’t.” She said, it was obvious to her so far that a lot of purebloods her age hadn’t considered much of anything regarding comparisons between magic and non-magic things.

Malfoy scowled at her, though the effect was dampened by his pink nose and cheeks. He didn’t seem to have much to say in return, only moving to pull his scarf tighter around his neck to keep the chill off of his skin.

She hated that he was here; out of all of the people at Hogwarts who could have disturbed her afternoon, why did it have to be this stupid, arrogant pureblood? Honestly, she would rather have been caught by Snape. But, instead of allowing his presence to punish her and sour the atmosphere, (Y/N) decided to ignore him completely. Just because he was there, it doesn’t mean she had to talk to him, does it?

Turning her back on the boy, (Y/N) unsheathed her rapier with her head held high, listening to the sharp ssssssht that rang out as the blade glided out of its casing. She could feel his eyes on her, but refused to acknowledge him still. For a few blissful minutes, (Y/N) was able to continue her practise uninterrupted, focusing on nothing but her footwork and wrist-movements. But then Malfoy had to go and open his mouth again.

“Why do you do that?” He asked from his spot against the birch tree. She couldn’t quite tell if his tone was condescending or curious; so she decided to assume the former.

“Do what?” She replied as she lunged forward toward the holly tree, focusing on her posture.

“It seems like a pretty useless skill to me.” Said Malfoy – did everything that came out of his mouth have to be irritating?

(Y/N) huffed and gritted her teeth, slicing the bark in front of her at a forty-five degree angle and wishing it was his face. “Shows what you know. But it’s a very sophisticated sport, so I don’t expect you to understand.” She withheld a smirk. There was only one good thing about Draco Malfoy: it was so easy to get under his skin.

Malfoy bristled and stood straight, a frustrated noise escaping him. “What would you know about sophisticated sports? I play Quidditch, you know! I’m going to be on next year’s team!” He argued, his face flushing from pink to red as he pointed a finger at her.

She barely paid attention to him, knowing it would only annoy him more (oh she certainly took pleasure in annoying him). “Sure, Quidditch is a boastful sport, but that’s hardly going to be useful.” (Y/N) said, flicking her braid over her shoulder and pulling her black sleeves back over her wrists before she continued her graceful movements, her blade slicing through the air. “We Addams’ take pride in our mastery of weapons – it’s how we show our capability to protect our family. How are you going to help anyone with Quidditch? Throw a ball at the enemy?”

Malfoy was the very picture of angry; face flushed, hands curled into fists, stance stiff and upright – it was laughable, really. “No – I’m a Seeker.”

“Oh, so even less helpful, then.” (Y/N) smirked, spinning her sword at her side. “At least you can fly away.”

“I bet I can fly faster than you!” He retorted, scrambling for a victory in this losing battle of verbal chess. “How about it? I’ll race you to… to the top of Hogwarts!” Malfoy dared, pointing a gloved finger to the castle peaking through the trees.

(Y/N) glanced behind her to the pointed towers in the near distance, folding her arms. “No.”

“Because you don’t think you can?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

Malfoy laughed condescendingly. “You’re just scared.”

She glowered at him darkly, gritting her teeth. “I don’t get scared. I just have better things to do than waste my time on stupid bets.” She said, turning her back on him and deciding to head back to the school. But she still had one last blow to deliver, just to really get on his nerves. “Besides, you already lost the last bet you made on a broom – Harry Potter really owes you one, you got him noticed.”

Now that really ought to piss him off.

Taking the snow-dusted path through the forest, (Y/N) allowed herself a wicked smile at the sound of Malfoy’s anger as he groaned and kicked at the ground in frustration. He was awfully fun to toy with.

As she emerged through the trees, checking for any people nearby who could report her whereabouts, (Y/N) looked up at Hogwarts as she considered the boy’s bet; how difficult would it be to fly all the way to the top? It was certainly very high, a gradual ascent seemed like the best option, but the many towers and features of the architecture would prove to be obstacles. It was then, as she was walking down the hill, that (Y/N) noticed two things. The first was that two large towers very close to each other were almost identical. The second: they looked exactly like the snow-covered tower in her Visions from Beyond.

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[password-door-lock]

It’s the afternoon of the twins’ birthday, and after a quick trip to pick up ingredients, the three of you are ready to test out the present that you got for the pair of them. “I never could have imagined something like this,” Saeran muses as he carefully measures ingredients. He’s always so precise with recipes— you guess that comes from his background in baking, where ratios matter very much. “I would have loved it if I’d been able to play with it as a child.” 

Saeyoung dries the blue sphere off with a kitchen towel and sets it on the table. “If I’d known they existed, I would have got one for you.” 

Saeran laughs easily. He’s now far enough removed from his childhood that he can laugh about it, and you don’t miss the significance of the gesture— on top of being a sign that Saeran has healed from his past, it’s also a reminder to Saeyoung that nothing that happened to the twins in their youth was ever his fault. Saeyoung, too, was a child, even if he was never allowed to act like one. “But maybe it’s better that we waited until now. Now we get to make a happy memory, just the three of us.” 

“That’s true,” Saeyoung admits. “MC, could you pass me the ice?” 

“Sure thing.” You place a bag of ice on the table beside the ice cream maker, careful not to disrupt Saeran’s work as he pours some heavy cream into a measuring pitcher. Unsurprisingly, he had most of the ingredients in the kitchen already, aside from the food coloring that Saeyoung requested. “Did the instructions say we could kick it around outside?” 

Your understanding is that this ice cream maker is meant to be tossed and rolled around, though you can’t imagine that it was intended for adults to kick with all their might outdoors. Saeyoung shrugs. “The instructions didn’t say we couldn’t kick it around outside.” 

Saeran considers the situation. “Let’s play with it inside. Maybe we should put down a tarp in case it spills.” 

“You’re so responsible,” Saeyoung sighs, but there’s a glint in his eyes. You know that he spent a good chunk of his life praying that Saeran would have the kind of life he has now, one where the preservation of area rugs is of the utmost priority and afternoons can be spent playing with novelty toys. You also know that Saeyoung probably never imagined that he would get to share that life together with Saeran. “But if we’re getting a tarp, then that means we get to really kick it.” 

Saeran grins at this. “The box says ‘roll and kick,’” he points out, “We wouldn’t be following the directions if we didn’t roll it and kick it. What do you think, my love?” 

“I think it’s up to you,” you decide. “And anyway, if it doesn’t turn out well, we have regular ice cream in the fridge, so there’s really no risk.”

“Mhm,” Saeran agrees, watching as his brother fills the sphere up with ice. “But I think it will turn out well. It’s meant for children, isn’t it? So three adults shouldn’t have too much trouble. Oh, Saeyoung, don’t forget the salt.” 

Saeyoung gladly accepts his brother’s offering of salt and pours it into the ice cream maker before sealing the bottom. “Okay,” he announces, flipping the sphere over easily. “Now it’s time to make some ice cream.”

Saeran carefully pours the ingredients in. “MC, my angel,” he addresses you, sure to include you even as he and his brother heal their inner children. Both twins are already sporting wide-eyed expressions, and the ice cream hasn’t even been made yet. “Do you want to put the food coloring in?” 

“Absolutely,” you grin, finding the package of food coloring. It easily contains a full rainbow. “What color are we using?” 

“All of them,” Saeyoung tells you. 

At the same time, Saeran says, “We can start with red.” 

“This feels like a scheme,” you confess, locating the red food coloring and dropping some of it into the ice cream maker nevertheless. “What’s the scheme?” 

“Saeyoung wanted rainbow ice cream,” Saeran explains, “We talked about it this morning, after you gave us the machine.” Of course they did. 

“But we realized right away that it wouldn’t work if we put all the colors in at once,” Saeyoung adds helpfully, “Since everything would blend while we were kicking it. So we figured out how to do it.” 

“How?” You ask. You should have known that the twins would use their childlike wonder to make something magnificent. They’re both so creative, after all, and it’s no surprise that they’ve dedicated so much time to thinking about sweets. 

“We’ll make layers,” Saeran explains, “Since the ice cream won’t be totally frozen once it comes out of the ball.” 

“We can spread it out in a baking pan,” says Saeyoung. It truly is dizzying to watch them finishing one another’s thoughts this way. “And put it in the freezer in between so they don’t blend.” 

“I guess these are just the benefits to making roll and kick ice cream with two geniuses,” you shrug, accepting the afternoon you’ll spend contributing to this very thoughtful ice cream scheme. “Now, come on, let’s roll and kick.” 

“As you wish,” Saeyoung sweeps into an elaborate, playful bow, before closing the ice cream maker tight and carrying it into the living room. 

“Mhm. Whatever you say, my love,” Saeran adds, opening a tarp that he’d already left sitting on an armchair. You can’t help but be endeared by the fact that he must have been thinking of the possible mess before you even went to the store to procure the ingredients for this venture. 

The three of you spend about twenty minutes kicking the ball around on the tarp before pouring the red ice cream— which looks much better than you expected, considering how cheap the machine was— into a baking pan. “Ah, we’d better try it, just to make sure it’s good,” Saeyoung advises, pretending to sound woeful. 

“Of course,” Saeran agrees, feigning seriousness. You have to cover your mouth to stifle a giggle. “MC, darling, open wide.”

“I get the first taste of your birthday ice cream?” You ask, incredulous. 

“It might be bad,” Saeyoung jokes, “So you’re the first victim.” It’s nice to hear him joking around again, but something feels different about his tone now. You can practically feel the gratitude in every word.

“I’m sure it’s good,” Saeran assures you, “But if it isn’t… you are the first victim.” He grins, eyes lighting up as he regards you with joy. You could kiss him.

“I knew this felt like a scheme,” you grumble, but of course, you do as you’re told and open your mouth. 

Ever indulgent, Saeran feeds you a spoonful of the ice cream. You can already tell that you put in a bit too much food coloring— it’s probably going to stain your tongue. But, then again, it looks like ice cream, aside from being bright red, and it tastes like ice cream, too. “Oh!” Your eyes widen. “This is really good! Is this… cinnamon flavored? I didn’t see you sneak the cinnamon in!” 

Saeran smirks at you. God, that’s such a pretty look on him, especially when his eyes are so plainly full of mirth. “Feed it to me next.” 

“Ugh, lovebirds,” Saeyoung pretends to complain. Over the course of the past few months, he’s adopted this phrase from Yoosung, who has been using it on you and Saeran since the first time he saw you in the same room together. “Save some for me, okay?”

You pass him a comically oversized novelty ice cream scoop (which probably came from his own collection, now that you think about it) before using a regular spoon to get some ice cream for Saeran. “Open up,” you sing. 

 Saeran closes his eyes and opens his mouth before accepting the spoonful of ice cream. “This is good,” he agrees, “We did a good job.” 

Saeyoung, who has located his own spoon and tried the ice cream for himself in the time that you and Saeran were staring into each other’s eyes and feeding one another, nods in agreement. “I’ll help you make more, but we need to add some rules to the roll and kick game. Right now it’s like a free-for-all, and there’s no way to earn points.” It does sound exciting to make an actual game of your ice cream-making venture, rather than just rolling the ball around and chatting.

“Is this what it would have been like to play with a ball together as children?” Saeran wonders, still smiling. 

You half expect this casual phrase to devastate Saeyoung. After all, he doesn’t tend to take well to any commentary about his childhood. Instead, he breaks into a wide grin. “Of course,” he says, before taking another spoonful of ice cream. 

[revelisms]

Silco, Sevika and Jinx Headcanons (music ver 🎵)

Since my playlists are running rampant (and they're largely how I get a sense for writing character voices/actions/etc.), I thought it'd be fun to share a few HC tidbits via some tunes :-)

Silco — aka the Bloodshark, the Eye, Mr. Crime Boss himself; the man, the myth, the slippery bastard. Also clocking in with nearly 8+ hours worth of songs for this sack of bones...I am...side-eyeing myself. Anyway.

Foundation — Sunlit Grave, Saint Mesa

This basically kickstarted the playlist earworm, for him. At a high-level, this is the song I think of anytime I write him: it's dark, eerie, regal, persevering. I always get an image of someone sinking beneath the depths at the beginning, and clawing out of a deathly cage/prowling to a bloody pinnacle by the end. The lyrics themselves also capture a flavor of his character, as a dead man speaking to someone (potentially his killer and/or lover) who knew him before; who must choose to let go of their knowledge of who that dead man used to be. He is gone, irreparably changed, and he's not coming back—and he'll drag a kingdom to its knees, by the end. (Maybe it's what landed him in that grave, in the first place.)

Inner Voice — The Wondersmith and His Sons, Astronautalis

This gives a sense of past and present: a glimpse into the hard-cracked persona he'd built in the mines (which I associate with folksongs, especially of an English or Gaelic nature), twisted up into the sly, scheming charisma he harnessed as co-founder of the Lanes. For me, the song paints a potential tale of childhood (the lyrics tell of a family of swindlers, from which the narrator is the cleverest son) and a foreboding hint into the future (too much grease can break down a machine; for all their success, a brutal end is eminent). It also just feels like him—it's growly, arrogant, and jovial; drawling in some moments, and spit-fired in others.

On The Record — Time & Place, Queens of the Stone Age

In terms of what he'd actually listen to (of which I think he'd have a extensive range, to the point of his tastes skewing past eclectic into downright bizarre), this would fit easily between a swath of blaring industrial rock, crooning big band classics, jazz, folk-tunes, experimental funk, r&b, etc. It's got that flavor of 80s post-punk vocals that would be a staple in his sets, with a snappy flare in the instrumentals (something he'd nod his head or tap his pen to)—and, funnily enough, has a slight echo to Snakes (Vi's and Jayce's fightsong), which...oddly fits, given I see him and Vi as actually very similar, at their cores.

Sevika — aka the Lioness, the Teeth, "step on me and I'll thank you for it" Miss King. She's badassery in a gilded package, baby—but there's a tender spot under it all, if you squint.

Foundation — Little Girl Gone, CHINCHILLA

Another song that kickstarted the playlist earworm. This is a baseball bat to the gut with prowess, swagger and Try That Again energy—and the transition of the whisper to the drop just hhh. Gets me every time. This song is the battle anthem from a woman who's earned her armor (fittingly, working under a gangster)—test her patience, and she'll be wearing red on her sleeve; dare to cross her in a fight, and she'll drink you down like liquor. I can visualize a snappy two-punch brawl every time I hear this.

Inner Voice — Milk, BONES UK

Dipping into that tenderness here, with a stark note of ceaseless ambition, we've got this song—a reflection, a demand, a love letter, a hunger. There's so many layers folded into this: the desires of a self-made life to be everything and more their host yearns for it to be, even if, underneath it all, what they truly yearn for is belonging. This feels like a young, angry, cropped-hair and bloody-fisted Sevika fighting down the world—and an older self looking fondly, if a touch melancholically, back on it all.

On The Record — Know Better, Janelle Monáe

Put her on the aux, and she'll have the dancefloor congealing into a neon haze of sweat and glitter. The mix of the sax and the bassline here just thrums with her energy, to me: self-assured, watchful, slow-smirking. It's often the kind of tracks she reaches for, especially for a crowd; she's got a bold streak in her, and it doesn't take much to stir it to full display (come here now, stranger; gimme that sense of danger).

Jinx — aka the Loose Cannon, the Bombshell, everyone's favorite lil' gremlin. I tend to interpret her character in distinct "phases"—i.e., Powder, Jinx, and Jinx post-shimmer. These also factor into what I musically associate with her; each piece of her character feels very distinct.

Foundation — BLOODMONEY, Poppy

This is like...the Jinx song, to me. It's about distrust, sacrifice, self-identity, denial, rage, all wrapped up in a spiteful bow of religious allegories—a flash-cycle of whose opinion she worships, at any given moment (when nobody is watching, what do you believe?). It's also just a sensory meal with the sound design, and could even match up with soundbites of her voice so easily.

Inner Voice — Crimson, Skott

Take a stroll into Powder building Jinx's persona from the ashes. This is a haunting, beautiful song, with an undercurrent of something fight-eager, spiteful, and hopeful brewing beneath the surface. In the wake of tragedy, there's still a thread of strength; someone picking up the pieces while trying to find a path back to their own mind. I almost hear this as an apology and declaration of war, in turns, from Jinx to Vi.

On The Record — BOOM, Cassyette.

You know this little metalhead is listening to any splitzy mechanical tracks she can get her hands on (fuels the inventor muse, y'know?)—and I think she'd love this. I mean, c'mon. It's a song about explosions, told through a narrator saying how slipping into different mental spaces feels like a bomb waiting to blow. I could see her jamming to this on loop in her workshop while tinkering with a new flare gun. (Also, as a close runner up, I associate anything Djerv with her, given they were the artist for Get Jinxed—she'd probably have things like (We Don't) Hang No More always on the gramophone, singing to it word for word.)

[galexis-void]

"Just Toying Around" (Candybats)

A/N: Okay, this one is more story based (unintentionally). Try to enjoy anyway, I spent a while on it.

Also, I used Google Translate for a decent chunk of this, so if I wrote something in your language and it's wrong, I sincerely apologize.

Summary: Streber received a strange gift in the mail, and his curiosity lands Kevin in a quite a predicament.

Trigger warnings: None that I can think of

Reminder: These stories are not built on logic. They're made to entertain, not to make sense. Also, be prepared if the characters here are out of character completely (again, the intention is not to be perfect).

(fic below the cut)

     Streber fiddled absently with the stuffed doll, staring blankly at its button-eyed face. The doll was simple, made of white fabric and with two buttons for eyes and a stitched mouth. There were no other distinguishing features.

     For days he’d been attempting to “animate” the toy. Gone were the days when practical mechanics excited him - his new focus was something much greater than that. If he could bring a toy to life… well, he wasn’t sure what he’d do with that knowledge yet, but he was certain it’d be something world-changing.

     Now, if only he could get the damn thing to work.

     A low whistle from the room caught his attention. “Are you really gonna keep yourself locked up in the batcave forever?”

     “That’s copyright, Kev,” Streber mumbled to himself.

     “You think I care? The only thing I care about is the fact that you’ve been in here for days.”

     Streber sighed, and threw the doll on the floor. “I can’t get this stupid thing to work!”

     “…it’s a toy.”

     “Look, babe, I love you, but please don’t question my work. Now, I need to figure out if I can make a machine for this thing.”

     Kevin entered the room and took a seat on the bed. “Really trying to get out of using that book, huh?”

     He was referring to the alleged spellbook that Streber had received as a gift a few days prior. There had been no name or return address on the package it had arrived in, just a picture of a crystal ball. While he’d tested some of the lesser spells out of morbid curiosity, he’d sworn off of using it. He claimed it was because he wanted his work to be a result of his “genuine intellectual prowess”, but the few friends of his who knew about the book knew the truth - he was afraid of the kind of things he could do with that power.

     “I don’t wanna hear that from the guy who has nightmares about the supernatural almost every day,” Streber answered stiffly, glancing over his shoulder at his boyfriend.

     “That was different. I couldn’t predict or control what happened then. But this is literally untold power you hold in your hands. And I’m surprised you haven’t been totally abusing it.”

     “You know I don’t like not knowing what will happen. Any spell in that thing-” he waved at it, “-could just as easily drop a meteor on the house as it could turn us all into dust. It’s not worth the risk.”

     “Did you even read any of the spells you cast, or did you just pick one and read it off?”

     Streber cursed under his breath. He hadn’t bothered to read them because he’d doubted the book’s authenticity. “I hate you.”

     “I’ll take that as a no. Maybe there’s an anti-lying spell in there that I can use on you. Even if you didn’t mean it, it still kinda hurts to hear that.”

     Streber rose and fetched the book. The cover was thick leather, though somehow it shone a metallic gold color. A large amethyst was set in the center, surrounded by silver symbols written in some lexicon that Streber didn’t recognize - they didn’t look like any lettering he’d seen before, English or otherwise. Silver clasps and a silver spine bound the book together. At first glance it looked like an elaborate prop, like something you’d see in the hands of a wizard in a fantasy movie.

     “Open it,” his boyfriend urged.

     “What’s with your sudden change in attitude? I would think this kind of thing would terrify you.”

     Kevin shrugged. “I gave up on things going back to normal when I was cornered by a serial killer. And before that a possessed doll. And a Lovecraftian horror before that. I don’t like it, but I figured it’d be better to embrace the change.”

     “That… is not something I’d expect to hear from you. But you’re right. When in Rome, I guess. Now let’s crack this puppy open.”

     He opened the book to a random page. It was mostly words, but only one set was in English. There seemed to be one page dedicated to one spell, with the English translation first, followed by numerous other languages.

ANIMATION SPELL - HECHIZO DE ANIMACIÓN - SORT D'ANIMATION - INCANTESIMO DI ANIMAZIONE - ANIMATUM CARMINA - ANIMATIONSMAGIE - Анимационное заклинание - 动画咒语 - アニメーション化された呪文

     There were even a few lines written in the unidentified lexicon again, but Streber didn’t bother trying to decipher those. Instead, he scanned the page for the English translation of the spell. Strangely, he found exactly what he was looking for on the first try.

You will need: the object you wish to animate, salt water, vanilla extract, and a person you intend to separate the soul from to use for the spell. Do not be afraid - you can return the soul to the original body at any time, with no harm done.

✫   ✫   ✫   ✫   ✫

Focus on the object of your fascination. Prepare a soak of salt water and a drop of vanilla. Steep the object of your fascination into the stew and wait for exactly four minutes. Remove the object. 

✫   ✫   ✫   ✫   ✫

Take the person you intend to separate the soul from and have them soak their hands in the stew for four minutes and three seconds. Two minutes into this process, place the object back into the stew and let them soak together. After four minutes and three seconds have passed, remove the object and have the person remove their hands, then say the following incantation:

✦ ✦ “REDDE HANC ANIMAM. SINITE HANC REM FLORERE.” ✦ ✦

To reverse the incantation, locate the corresponding restorative spell on page 242.

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

     Streber glanced over the page once more, trying to comprehend. Kevin, who had been reading over his boyfriend’s shoulder, looked a bit pale. “Is this safe?”

     “Probably. I mean, they wouldn’t write it down if it wasn’t safe, right?”

     “Did you miss the part where it says you have to sacrifice a living soul to animate the object?”

     “Did you miss the part where it says you can return things to how they were?”

     “You’d better make sure that spell actually exists before you try this one.”

     Streber flipped to page 242, and located the spell in question. Much like the animation spell, it listed clear instructions for how to restore a dislocated soul, whether forcefully removed or having been disembodied for another reason. “Looks legitimate.”

     “You’re lucky I love you, otherwise I would never allow you to do this.”

     “I’ll make sure that I do it correctly. And I’ll switch you back right away.”

     The boys spent the next ten minutes collecting what they needed. Streber was meticulous with the instructions, not wanting to screw anything up. Throughout, it became increasingly obvious that Kevin was nervous - it seemed despite his big talk earlier, he was still plenty averse to anything vaguely unnatural. Even so, he didn’t withdraw from the procedure.

     Streber cleared his throat, and began to read the incantation aloud. Even though he didn’t sound any different, a sort of chill washed over him as he spoke, and it felt like he was breathing a little heavier. A breeze whipped through the room, threatening to tear the picture frames from the wall and sending his research papers scattered everywhere.

     The scariest part was that Kevin was nowhere to be seen.

     Streber immediately dropped the book in a panic, and called out worriedly for his boyfriend. Had he done the spell wrong? The spell was supposed to give life to the doll, not make his boyfriend vanish into thin air!

     Wait. The doll.

     Streber glanced over the table and almost shrieked. The doll was still there, but it didn’t look the same as before. Its lined smile had sunken into an almost surly expression, and now it had clothes…

     …clothes that looked exactly like the ones Kevin had been wearing a few minutes ago!

     Streber hesitantly picked up the doll. Now that he was looking over it more carefully, the doll looked unmistakably like Kevin. Starting to panic again, he turned the doll over in his hands again and again. The doll seemed lifeless, which meant that while Kevin’s soul had merged with the doll, the spell hadn’t completely worked.

     But Streber didn’t care about that anymore - the immediate concern was Kevin.

     Hey! Take it easy! I’m getting dizzy… *bleh*

     Streber dropped the doll in fright. It sounded like Kevin, but…

     Ouch…

     Streber glanced down at the fallen toy, carefully reaching for it. Was this possible?

     “Kev?” he questioned doubtfully.

     Yeah, it’s me! I don’t think your spell worked…

     “You definitely merged with the doll, but all that did was make it look like you.”

     *hrrrgh* I-I can’t move!

     “It’s okay, I got you. Let’s see what we can do to get you back to normal.”

     But as soon as he said that, something else crossed his mind. If this doll was basically a miniature Kevin…

     “Actually…” he started slowly, carefully running a finger over the doll’s side stitches, “…I’m gonna try something first.”

     Huh? C’mon, I don’t wanna stay-EEEEK!

     Streber heard a familiar squeak, and he smiled… yes, his theory was correct.

     Streber poked the doll’s belly, each flustered sound from his boyfriend making him smile wider and wider. Chuckling softly, he kept poking various spots on the toy’s torso, enjoying the delightful laughs and squeals from Keivn.

     AAIIEHEHEHE! H-HEHEHEHEY! THIS ISN’T FA- HAHAHAHAHA!

     “Oh, shush, you know you love it,” Streber teased. He then switched tactics and smothered the doll’s midsection with kisses.

     EEEEEEEHHEHEHEHEHEHE! I’M GONNA DIHIHIHIE!

     “You are so dramatic, you know that? It’s just belly kisses, Kev. You love those!~”

     But eventually, Streber did stop the tickles. He needed to work on getting Kevin back to normal - there would be plenty of time for tickles after that.

     After about an hour of continuous failures, Streber lunged forward and tightly embraced his very disoriented partner. “Finally! I’m so glad to see you!”

     “I’m glad to be me again,” Kevin mumbled in a daze. But he quickly snapped out of it when Streber squeezed his sides. “WHAHAHA-? COME OHOHON!”

     “Hey, something could’ve gone wrong with the spell! I have to make sure everything’s in order! Like maybe you’re missing a bone or two, or you lost some of your squish.”

     Suffice to say, the rest of the night was filled with loud laughs - from both sides.

-END-

[swifty-fox]

so im. currently writing a gale / john au of my own, and john is a tattoo artist in it. and as per an ask earlier you said you hated when tattoo fics were under reasearched-- so what things in particular bother you??

oh man okay disclainer: i am NOT a tattoo artist i just have a hyperfixation and also am trying to become one. also dated one (don't do that)

my biggest pet6 peeve is i see a lof of writers calling it a tattoo "gun" and they would never do that, that's what people who don't tattoo call it. The artist is always gunna refer to it as a tattoo 'machine'

tattoo machines are originally made out of doorbell motors fun fact. this here is your very traditional coil tattoo machine. A lot of artists use or have switched to the wireless Pen types but as an aesthete I love the classics.

Improper aftercare/ unrealistic post tattoo life.

Getting tattooed hurts. it puts your body through it you're going to be walking around with an open wound for a few days. No sex no touching it etc. but tattoo aftercare CAN be very sexy and intimate. partner washing the area nice and gently and then patting it dry and applying lotion.

I just personally love the methodology of tats. I LIKE to see the author has a knowledge of what they're writing about so I also look for the details and when I don't see it part of me is always oh :/ okay

Snippets from my oc story:

“Ever had a tattoo before?” He asks from where he was bent over a small hospital sink, headphones fully off his ears now as he fills a tiny cup with water and places it on a wheeling medical tray that was already covered with a box of surgical gloves, several more small cups, two packaged needles and a deconstructed tattoo machine. The rubber bands were the same bright yellow as Arnie’s headphones. His hands were bony and flushed at the knuckles; darkly tattooed with a mix of designs. Dom could make out a skull on one finger from where he was, as well as a cross, a dagger, and an assortment of meaningless designs. They threaded between a mix of heavy rings on the man's fingers, weaving between them seamlessly in a way that felt both entirely natural and deeply calculated. Dom found himself staring. 

“Yeah,” he answers, a beat too slow. “I wanted to get a cover-up done, actually.” 

Clink, clink, clink. 

The sound of Arnie removing his rings one by one, dropping them onto an empty ashtray echoed loudly around the room. His nails were painted with black chipped nail polish. He shoots Dom another friendly smile

-

“Just going to press really gently here,” Arnie murmurs, his now gloved hands applying pressure over the edges of the stencil to make sure the transfer was good. Dom is glad for the warning as his stomach flips uncomfortably. He exhales slowly. 

The next few minutes pass quickly as Dom tries to sit still so as not to smudge the still drying stencil. Arnie bustles about, putting on a clean pair of gloves, putting together his machine and testing it quickly before wheeling the tray of ink over. More cold goop is applied to Dom’s skin and he hisses again.

“Don’t remember this part last time.” He mutters, resisting the urge to cover the cold spot. 

“Yeah well, I can’t imagine your basement tattoo was done with much hygiene in mind.” Arnie says breezily, bracing a hand on Dom’s shoulder and leaning over him, “Ready?” 

Dom swallows against a dry throat. “Bring it.” 

I'm honestly being a lil lax with hygiene protocol here but.... its fine LOL. But little tidbits of the process of setting up and doing a tattoo all help it feel real!

[supermaks]

this drs thing is not gonna work for rb and it’s gonna make everyone slower and then rb are gonna dominate even more AGAIN 😭 and then the tps/fia are gonna be like what can we do about Red Bulls dominance?!?!?

What can they do, that’s the q isn’t it. I thought we cud sit together and do a very gentle analysis of these AMuS rumors, translated by the ever iconic house of tifosi heavyeight tami, and its accompanying cunty lil graphic of top speeds in spa, wid and without drs

"No other car gains that much speed with DRS activated than the Red Bull. Ferrari was able to close the gap a bit. Mercedes and McLaren still have some work to do. The DRS effect plays massively into Red Bull's cards wherever there are three DRS zones or the DRS sections are disproportionately long. Apparently F1 has plans to only allow DRS in the race and not in quali anymore. If those plans succeed, it would hurt Red Bull the most."

Lets start wid something that shud be immediately obvious: removing DRS in quali is not just gonna ‘hurt’ the team wid the most powerful DRS, its gonna hurt all the teams, regardless of how their own DRS performs. DRS, and the suspension/front and rear are all built in conformity wid the new regs, they're a complete package, drs is not just a magical button that lets Verstappen drop .800s on his teammates head like a super power. Its a natural progression of what what was once a simpler, less ambitious race-focused project: reduce drag, help cars overtake, stay awake, period. Quali’ purpose is to put together the fastest lap. Literally the whole point of measuring performance over one lap is that u need the car to achieve its top speed. DRS can help wid that, but not all drivers know how to maximize their quali setups, let alone DRS, which is how u get a dawg like sharl vs somebody like lance stroll.

Despite the scary picture AMuS is trying to paint here, there aren't always 3 drs zones and they're not always ‘disproportionally’ long. Monaco a perfect example of this. rb19 ‘DRS advantage’, if u wanna call it that, in Monaco quali, had nothing do wid super gains on a straight. Max and Nando both used that single DRS activation zone to improve their exits. Thats flat out, pure skill, and there is not a button in their car that cud have told them how to do it. Max did it so well he bagged an all timer. Thats the best possible lap u cud have put together in Monaco and like it or not DRS actually gave Nando a fighting chance, levelled the field up until Max pulled those final sectors out of his ass wid pure mastery of his ground effect car. So here u have a drs aided quali session that still went down to the wire, because drs, again, isn’t just a magical speed button anymore, and it does work as part of a whole, driver and setup.

Now lets break down fig. 1: Top-Speed-Vergleich GP Belgien 2023 🌷

As u can c its a top bitches only event, it excludes some interesting torpedo cars I wud love to analyze too, like for example that ungodly Williams.

Also some comments on Spa. Spa has 2 DRS zones. Its a particularly representative circuit because of its mixture of long straights, low and high speed corners. Its an old school type of track, very cerebral, very strategic. Its the longest track in f1, and one of the quickest too. Obvi u got eau rouge. But then also the kemmel straight. So overall a pretty good place to give these machines a stretch and put tire management skills to the test.

rbr gains 20,3 kph wid DRS open, but without drs, top speed is still a whopping 320,5 kph. Rocket. However,

Ferrari gains 19kph wid drs. Their top speed sits at about ~2kph less than rb19 wid or without drag, cud have been a comfortable pole for sharl wid how the Ferrari car was setup. The only reason he didnt get it was because he couldnt put a good lap together.

15,3kph gained from mclaren's DRS. No DRS, they settle at 311,6 kph. Mclaren never did benefit much from DRS, but they seem to be hunting down a rbr solution for that, and wid moderate success. Mclaren particularly monstrous in medium speed corners, prolly one of the best cars in the grid. Spa not so kind to them in this regard. Still, a very VERY strong lap from Oscar in the shootout ((no drs)) to nearly take it from Max ((11 tenths to pole)). Imo Max cud have hustled a lil more, he chose not to, this time it was enough.

only 10 kph gained wid DRS for M£rc's surprisingly respectable top speed of 319,8kph wid Lewis’ setup. 0,2kph separated them from the rb19 rocket when drs isn’t available. Softs and an empty tank are the w14s best friend. BUT

DRS added ‼️25 kph‼️ ((😐)) to GR's m£rc in Spa. Even tho this is a bigger gain than even the rb19 it’s not at all representative. His top speed was already lacking in comparison to Lewis' at 327,5kph. Difference between the m£rcs and their DRS efficacy can be explained wid George's very aggressive setup for Sunday that didn’t quite work even though it was a nice try. w14 has the operating window of a ripped plastic bag.

AMuS absolutely correct, 20,3 kph less on a straight wud hurt rb19 in quali, as its literally the highest advantage gain wid drs. However, even tho again all of this is speculation, we're just going by whats being reported, and they've had some misses lately, rb19 still the 'fastest' car wid or without drs. 340,8kph and 320,8kph is still the top of the table.😐 Lets not even bring management, drag, aerodynamics or god forbid, driver skill to it. Realistically, the teams that are able to fight Max for p0le either via outstanding conditions or new formats that don’t allow drs, f£rrari and m£rc, have both failed to capitalize on Sundays and beat Max for 8 straight races. Thats because rb19 is not a drs powered rocket, its simply the best ground effect car in f1, and the drs is a result of that, not the other way around.

So. What IS the purpose of a drs quali ban? Whats the justification for something like that? Wud they bring up 'entertainment value' or, worse, attempt to make it about 'competition'? And what type of message does that send to these other teams, to fans and drivers, and the culture of f1 in general, about the grids own competence, or lack thereof?

[tomlxndr]

Third Eye Test

Multi-part, assorted colour card, 2023

Overview

A kit for opening up your inner vision.

Contents

1 x Third eye chart

1 x Covering for first and second eyes

4 x Corrective lens paddles

2 x Lens clips

1 x Instruction leaflet

Background

I’ve been trying to buy new glasses for at least two years now. My current ones have the unfortunate habit of falling apart at inconvenient times. Apart from that, I like them. They’re light and they help me see. 

That said, sometimes it’s difficult for me to read the train indicators on the Victoria Line and this told me that I should get my eyes checked. I went to the opticians and they told me that my eyes were exactly the same as when I last had them checked. When I asked about the problems seeing train times, they told me that was just being old and I shouldn’t worry too much about it. Huh.

Anyway, that led to this - an at-home testing kit for measuring the visual acuity of your third eye. It takes its cues from the equipment used to measure your other eyes and was originally going to be just an eye chart. Obviously, people would be able to see the symbols unless they were blocked out, so some sort of blindfold would be needed. Originally this was going to be a strip of cloth, but then I remembered the Peril-Sensitive Glasses that were packaged in with the text adventure adaptation of Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (see here for a gallery of all the ‘feelies’ bundled with that and other Infocom games). I made my own version, but used some jazzy metallic card I had in the drawer. That would have been enough, but I always find an eye test isn’t an eye test without an optician holding lenses in front of my eyes and asking if it’s better “with…? or without…? with…? or without…?” and me saying things like “I’m not sure… maybe… with? …a bit?”. I really wanted people to be able to replicate that experience in their at-home tests, so created the little paddles that they could hold up in front of their foreheads.

But once they were done, I remembered that another great part about going to the opticians was wearing those incredible Frankenglasses with the lenses dropped in. Again, I wanted people to have some part of that with their Third Eye Tests, so set about fashioning some customised connectors that would allow people to attach the lens paddles to the coverings for their regular, ordinary eyes. I did not just buy a box of paperclips. No.

Anyway, the small idea ended up being 8 separate pieces (including the little explanatory leaflet that I was really in two minds about making and a little fold of card to stop the lens clips digging in to the main chart). Five of these elements required the use of the cutting machine, which is a slow process, meaning the simple little idea to knock out in an afternoon took a bit longer to put together.  Still, once you embark on these things, you have to see them through.

Classifying stuff like this is kind of weird. Although it does have printed pages, it’s not a book. It’s not a wearable, although an element of it is worn. I guess it’s just a thing. 

[precognitiveignition]

A Blank Canvas appears, wearing a gray mask with painted-on sunglasses. It looks like it’s been in a rainstorm, given how wet it appeared. It drops the presents onto the ground before lifting its hand up as if asking for payment - or food. 

Chi’s gift comes in the form of an orange tabby cat mascot head. The cat jaw unhinges to reveal a translucent orange plastic banner propelled by a small handheld fan to mimic a jet of flame. A suspiciously empty cylindrical indentation within the base of the jaw suggests that this might’ve not been the first idea that came to Chi’s mind. A second fan in the back helps provide ventilation to the mascot head while Kris’s magic tag - labeled as such - provides unimpeded vision while wearing the head. 

Lev’s gift comes in the form of a large brown cartoon cat plushie. It has a cocky look to it as if to exclaim “bring it on.” The fabric used is similar to denim as if the maker expected the poor thing to get mauled. It’s surprisingly okay-looking for one of Lev’s plushies, though the innate fluffiness of the plushiness is likely hiding most of her sewing mistakes. 

Rounding out the gifts is a roll of duck-shaped stickers and a 10-stack of 6″ steel ingots. An attached note says the following: “Happy holidays from me and Lils. Yeah, if you’re wondering about the weird indentation in Lils’s present, she did rig a lighter and aerosol set-up to make a small flamethrower - problem is the head won’t survive more than 2 or 3 uses without getting melted. Anyway, here are the duck-shaped stickers that will make someone think they’re a duck for a period of time - since I have a Blank Canvas willing to take stuff along for now, I figured I could send them over now. As for the metal ingots, they’re a bunch of steel ingots with an odd effect. They ignite into flames if you hit them hard enough or infuse with magic - thing is the flames don’t actually get hot or burn anything, so it’s purely for aesthetic purposes. The color of the flame can be changed by burning the ingot for several minutes in a flame whose color matches what you want. Otherwise, the metal ingot behaves like steel for the most part, just with a higher melting point. I sadly don’t really have the equipment to test how high though. In any case, you could probably use this a lot better than I can. Happy holidays!” 

Jack answers the door in what could, in social circles, be called a pladpocalypse. The outfit is almost as loud as her footsteps, with a white and mint-green and bright red jumper pointlessly under a pair of christmas-tree-print shorts, and of course an ugly christmas sweater - with the sleeves flexed off, of course. Atop the sweater's criss-cross of peppermint colours was a knitted robotic santa with a machine gun, yelling 'Now I have a machine gun! Ho ho ho!'

Keeping with her almost brutish display of christmas decorum, she also has an entire rib of beef in her hand, looking confused and unapologetic about the half-chewed mouthful she didn't even finish before answering. A glance at the outstretched hand, then at her rib, then at her hand... aw, hell, she had three more in the kitchen, the funky little guy could have her montreal smoked meat treat. Wiping her hand on the doorframe, she takes the packages with a puzzled look, which then splits into excitement once she feels the sheer weight of the packages.

"Well, hey, little dude, happy holidays to you, too! Stay warm out there, alright?"

There's a childish eagerness in her bright orange eyes as she considers tazmanian-tearing into these assorted boxes, but she found some restraint. There's a cooing of adoration as she gets to the plush - this was absolutely going on the bed with the chubbier and gentler of her two cats, misses squish surely wouldn't harm a fellow fluffball like this. Her eyes utterly miss any imperfection for the fact she was getting something so kindly hand-made, and there was a tinge of guilt she hadn't done any alchemizing or crafting for anyone extra-planar this year.

That tinge of guilt went away immediately upon discovery of the duck stickers - Andre was gonna love these, for sure, or at very least love the idea behind them - and then she got to the ingots. Oh, crap, that's right, she used to brag about blacksmithing! Except... well, she wasn't good at the metallurgy side of things. These were very, very cool though, and she made a mental note to brush back up on her forging to try and turn these into some extremely cool pauldrons, bracers or other such armour.

The helmet comes last of all, and Jack tosses it around in her hands a few times, getting an idea for the heft and weight of it. It was definitely cute and quaint - maybe she was leaning a little too hard on her catposting online? Or not hard enough, it was never easy to tell. Still, something ventilated and hard to shatter would always be handy out in the field, and she pops it into her hash modus for later use.

Man, now she'd have to write a really solid thank-you note for all this, these are great.

[obsessivecreechur]

random thing i thought of and wanted to write

summary - galactic finds out he's pregnant, panics, gets scared something might happen, and then is comforted by his bf who is 100% fine with [even excited for] a new baby

tw - mention/fear of pregnancy complications, slight angst

Galactic stood in his lab, waiting for this sudden surge of diziness to dull. This was happening quite often, now, and was beginning to be worrying. The building stopped spinning, so much, and he went to get the results of his blood test from the scanner (he'd wondered if he was suffering from iron deficiency or something of the like). He took the paper from the machine, sighed, hoped to god that nothing serious was wrong, and looked at it. Sure enough, there was nothing too awfully wrong... besides the fact that he was five months into a pregnancy.

He froze, completely tensing as he looked at the paper... Oh, god. Oh, dear god, how? He looked down at his flat middle... Maybe the machine was faltering or bugging out. He wasn't showing, at all, and the only symptom he got was diziness... Maybe it was just the machine. He went to his scanner, and stepped inside, allowing his for sure not broken (he'd checked it in detail, earlier) machine to tell him he was fine... To tell him this pregnancy was just a bug from the other machine he needed to work out. Once it was done, he got out and nearly ran to see the results of the scan, looking closely at the paper.

... He was pregnant. There was no doubt. He dropped the paper, and looked down at himself. He didn't look pregnant... and he didn't really feel pregnant... There was no movement... not that he felt, at least... How could it be true? Suddenly, in the midst of these terrified thoughts, his boyfriend, Danse, came in, to tell Galactic a package came in, for him. Seeing his typically less than expressive lover on the verge of tears, however, he stopped. "Hey," he said, stepping forward to talk to Galactic, "what's wrong?"

Galactic looked at him, trying not to show too much of his true emotion, and sighed, shakily, putting a hand over his middle. "I... Danse, I'm pregnant." Danse paused, but began to seem all excited. Stars formed in his eyes, and he ran and carefully hugged Galactic. "This is amazing news! Gala, we... we need to tell the boys!" Before he could say more, Galactic burst into tears. "Hey, hey- w-what's wrong?!" Danse asked, voice riddled with concern. Galactic wrapped his arms protectively around his middle, and looked at Danse with mournful eyes. "I think something's wrong. Danse... I'm five months in." Hearing this, Danse's excitement began to fade into worry...

"Five months...?" Danse asked, voice soft with slight fear. "You look so... normally sized..." Galactic looked down as Danse said this, not knowing what more to say. "Do you think it's... maybe just a small baby...?" Hearing Danse ask this just set Galactic off. "Danse, even if it was, this isn't fucking normal! A baby this small, I... I'm scared, w-what if there's something wrong with them?!" Danse backed up, a couple steps, as Galactic yelled. He understood he was likely just stressed, but he'll be damned if Galactic didn't tend to be scary, when stressed. The two stood there in silence, for a few minutes...

Suddenly, Galactic stepped forward and collapsed into Danse, sobbing profusely. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I'm just so scared..." Danse looked at him, a moment, and then picked him up and carried him to the living room. He sat down, and tried to comfort him, thinking. Suddenly, he... seemed to get a light bulb. "Galactic, I'm a ghost in a robot body." Galactic looked at him, as he said this. "Yes... I-I know...? And?" "And," Danse began, "I used to be human. A normally sized human." Galactic paused, looking up at Danse, for a few minutes, before breathing a sigh of relief.

"You forgot, didn't you?" Danse asked, chuckling, slightly. Galactic hugged Danse, mumbling, "Shush, I didn't sleep, last night." "Well, you'll have to change that for the baby, huh?" Danse smirked as Galactic looked at him with this stubborn look, for a minute. "Yeah," Galactic finally said, "I guess I will... I'm still scared, Danse." He put a hand over his middle, sighing. "What if something does happen...? I didn't even think I could get pregnant, with at least half of me having been replaced with robotic parts..."

Danse was silent for a long moment, before holding Galactic a little tighter, and his voice became soft and loving. "Nothing will happen to them, alright? I promise." Galactic looked up at his lover tiredly. Danse always knew what to say to him, to calm him down. "Now go to sleep," Danse chuckled, "dumbass." And Galactic started getting that irritated look, which Danse just found absolutely adorable. He mumbled angrily under his breath, and huddled up to Danse.

"I love you," Danse said, as Galactic began to fall asleep. Galactic looked up at him, as he began to pass out. "I love you, too," he said, quietly, and then was out like a light.

[vendekin11]

Vending Machine 101: Picking the Perfect Vend for Your Trendy Business

In a world that thrives on convenience, the vending machine has transformed from a mere snack dispenser into a multifaceted business partner. With the global vending machine market projected to reach a jaw-dropping $6.97 billion, it’s clear that these machines are no longer just about chips and soda. From cosmetics to mobile phones, businesses of all shapes and sizes are jumping on the vending bandwagon. But before you invest in a machine, it’s essential to find the right fit for your unique needs. Let’s break down the key ingredients to a successful vending machine purchase!

Types of Vending Machines: What’s Your Flavor? First things first: not all vending machines are created equal. Your product dictates your machine. Are you dispensing hot coffee to sleepy office workers? Opt for a cashless coffee vending machine with a heater. Planning to sell refreshing ice cream on a hot summer day? You’ll need a machine with a refrigerator. And for delicate items like milk packages? An elevator vending machine is your best bet. Vendekin’s Expert Tip: Identify your product mix before diving into machine selection. Understanding your target audience will steer you toward the ideal vending solution!

Size Matters: The Goldilocks Principle When it comes to machine size, you don’t want it too big or too small; you want it just right! The size of your vending machine should match your product turnover and the available space. If you expect quick sales of snacks and beverages, a larger machine might be necessary to minimize the hassle of constant refilling. However, in cramped office spaces, a mini coffee vending machine might be your best option.

Location, Location, Location! The location of your vending machine is as critical as the machine itself. A high-traffic area like a mall or metro station could be a goldmine, but make sure the machine can handle the hustle and bustle. Consider clearance space, power outlets, and any security measures you might need. Vendekin’s expert team can help identify profitable locations using their smart cloud-based vending software, vNetra. With data-driven insights, you'll be sure to hit the jackpot!

User-Friendly and Hassle-Free Vending machines should make life easier for both you and your customers. Before making a purchase, test the machine's usability. A seamless experience is key—after all, convenience is the name of the game! Vendekin-powered machines streamline the process into three simple steps: scan, select, and pay. Plus, Bluetooth connectivity ensures smooth transactions, even in low internet conditions. Vendekin’s Expert Tip: Check the manufacturer’s service offerings. Will they manage restocking? Who handles technical issues? Knowing these details can save you a lot of headaches down the line!

Tech Savvy is the Way to Be The right technology can elevate your vending game. Look for machines that support cashless payments, flexible pricing, and promotional features. With Vendekin’s smart vending machine software, you can manage your machines remotely and leverage data analytics to enhance your business strategies

The Vendekin Advantage

Investing in a smart vending machine is not just about filling it with products; it’s about harnessing data to drive your business forward. With Vendekin, you gain access to crucial insights that can help you fine-tune your offerings and maximize profit margins. Plus, Vendekin assists operators in sourcing products at competitive prices—because who doesn’t love better profit margins? In conclusion, choosing the right vending machine is akin to picking the perfect partner: it requires careful consideration and a bit of strategy. By following these tips and embracing the smart solutions Vendekin offers, you’ll be well on your way to vending success! So, are you ready to take your business to new heights? Your vending adventure awaits! Learn More:

[spookysaladchaos]

Global Top 14 Companies Accounted for 29% of total Internal Mould Release Agent (IMR) market (QYResearch, 2021)

Internal Mould Release (IMR) Agent is a product that is dissolved in the resin mix, which is highly soluble in the carrier solvent i.e. styrene. During cure the product drops out of solution and migrates to the surface due to volumetric shrinkage, pressure and temperature.

Internal release agents are directly added to the composite material being molded during mixing to provide integrated release properties.

According to the new market research report “Global Internal Mould Release Agent (IMR) Market Report 2023-2029”, published by QYResearch, the global Internal Mould Release Agent (IMR) market size is projected to reach USD 0.08 billion by 2029, at a CAGR of 4.5% during the forecast period.

Figure.   Global Internal Mould Release Agent (IMR) Market Size (US$ Million), 2018-2029

Figure.   Global Internal Mould Release Agent (IMR) Top 14 Players Ranking and Market Share（Based on data of 2021, Continually updated）

The global key manufacturers of Internal Mould Release Agent (IMR) include Chem-Trend, AXEL, Chukyo Yushi, WN Shaw, Marbocote, Franklynn Industries, Henkel, Münch Chemie, Daikin, Technick Products, etc. In 2021, the global top five players had a share approximately 29.0% in terms of revenue.

About QYResearch

QYResearch founded in California, USA in 2007.It is a leading global market research and consulting company. With over 16 years’ experience and professional research team in various cities over the world QY Research focuses on management consulting, database and seminar services, IPO consulting, industry chain research and customized research to help our clients in providing non-linear revenue model and make them successful. We are globally recognized for our expansive portfolio of services, good corporate citizenship, and our strong commitment to sustainability. Up to now, we have cooperated with more than 60,000 clients across five continents. Let’s work closely with you and build a bold and better future.

QYResearch is a world-renowned large-scale consulting company. The industry covers various high-tech industry chain market segments, spanning the semiconductor industry chain (semiconductor equipment and parts, semiconductor materials, ICs, Foundry, packaging and testing, discrete devices, sensors, optoelectronic devices), photovoltaic industry chain (equipment, cells, modules, auxiliary material brackets, inverters, power station terminals), new energy automobile industry chain (batteries and materials, auto parts, batteries, motors, electronic control, automotive semiconductors, etc.), communication industry chain (communication system equipment, terminal equipment, electronic components, RF front-end, optical modules, 4G/5G/6G, broadband, IoT, digital economy, AI), advanced materials industry Chain (metal materials, polymer materials, ceramic materials, nano materials, etc.), machinery manufacturing industry chain (CNC machine tools, construction machinery, electrical machinery, 3C automation, industrial robots, lasers, industrial control, drones), food, beverages and pharmaceuticals, medical equipment, agriculture, etc.

[reversedout-blog]

The Best Email Marketing Tools You Must Try!

Email marketing remains as one of the most lucrative methods to get your message around. In today’s world, multichannel marketing campaigns are the backbone of businesses. Still, email continues to remain the essence of any direct marketing strategy. It is wise to never undervalue email’s influence and effect. According to statistics collected for email marketing tools, there are 4 billion email users. This number exemplifies almost half the world’s inhabitants. If you are wondering, 64% of industries use email to reach clients, which is a more effective rate than for any other digital channel.

How Do We Define an Email Marketing Software Program?

Email marketing software efficiently takes care of your contact lists and helps you plot and write influential emails delivering the required message. It also helps you track whether the emails were opened and read. The best part is that such a tool doesn’t cost much to start moving, nor is it a difficult job to start with. Many of the software programs have reasonable packages for beginners, and some of them also offer services for new clients to make it easier for you to get ahead in the race.

Some business owners may select this tool as a smart marketing way to get emails to their subscribing users. While other businesses want to tie their emails to their product or service, and sales engines, so they can deliver distinct offers and deals to receivers. Each way of using these tools requires different gears for managing the email and sending it to recipients. These tools can also help you approach your subscribers using demographics. Also, you can make use of them with other departments of your business such as, accounting, customer relationship management (CRM) systems, and inventory systems.

If you want to grow your business steadily, email software is one of the most easy, affordable, and effective ways to follow leads and convert potential leads into buyers for your products and/or services. There is more than 500+ email marketing software programs to choose from. All you need to do is search in Google and find the name of the best email marketing tool to make things simple and easy. In this article, we are going to look over five of the best tools for you to choose from so that you can strategize your drive and get maximum output from them.

Popular Email Marketing Tools

Activecampaign

Having over 150,000 customers, it’s not surprising that ActiveCampaign comes up as one of the most liked email marketing software. It has received it’s reputation for the effective solution it provides to all types of businesses across the world. ActiveCampaign provides advanced features like conditional content, geo-tracking, deliverability, and multi-user editing. It also supports machine learning and predictive tools, enabling the user to work smartly and generate high ROI. Revolutionary visual marketing automation makes ActiveCampaign remarkably spontaneous.

This software comes with an inbuilt CRM system so it can effectively manage sales and live chat, along with excellent bulk emailing advantage. ActiveCampaign is quite affordable and reasonably priced given it’s many features it offers to users.

What are the features of ActiveCampaign?

Segmentation and dynamic text make it easy to tailor the information to be sent to the right people.

Tailors the emails based on the contact list.

A/B testing to know what are the best-converting types of content.

Users can do split testing to make their emails get more opens, clicks, and conversions.

In-built landing page creator.

Segmentation

SMS and Site messaging

Hubspot

Hubspot is also one of the most prevalent software for email marketing. This email servicing method is free for anyone to start with and comes with a lot of powerful features that are designed to help you in the growth of your business. You can use a drag and drop feature for email creation and can select the models to tailor the content of email according to your brand personality.

This software has an inborn integration method that helps you personalize the email according to device type, the country where your contacts belong, membership option, or any such custom types that might help you better your chance of a conversion. By using HubSpot software as the backbone of your sales and marketing strategy, you can aim for high revenue and conversion rate.

What are the features of HubSpot?

A/B testing to generate the best email messaging content.

Built according to the CRM platform of the tool.

A drag-and-drop template editor.

Autopilot

The email marketing software Autopilot is all about making the whole process of bulk emailing simple and easy to use. It is recognized for offering the best-designed work for creating a mechanized arrangement that allows you to focus on the successful journey of your users. In the past, people were concerned about sending bulk emails and thoughtlessly sharing weekly or bi-weekly newsletters with their patrons. But in today’s digital world, things are different. It is essential for business owners to make use of email marketing tools more thoughtfully.

Sending the correct and applicable message to the right lead, at the right time, is done with the smart Autopilot software. If done incorrectly, email automation can become so mismanaged and confusing. But with Autopilot, this problem is no more. This software allows you to annotate your automation sequence with various things like emojis, stickers, etc., which allows you to collaborate on your customized campaign.

What are the features of Autopilot?

Website Tracking

Automation Annotation

Customer Journey Mapping

Lead Scoring & Nurturing

Multi-Channel Marketing

Email A/B Split Testing

MailerLite

Are you on a tight budget and want to buy bulk email sending software? Look no further and go for MailerLite. With the help of this software, you will be able to comfortably send up to 12,000 emails in a month on their free plan. If you like the way it works and the way it handles your requirements, you can further add a little amount and you will be able to send more emails from your database.

MailerLite is a universally excellent tool no matter which industry you belong to. Whether you are a growing startup or a massive corporation, it can easily handle your database and will effectively serve it’s purpose. MailerLite offers you everything you need to send bulk emails for your upcoming event or for any other campaign. If you are looking for built-in CRM and advanced segmentation for personal projects or a simple email campaign, MailerLite is an ideal and affordable choice.

What are the features of MailerLite?

Drag & Drop Editor

Email Automation Builder

Website Builder

10 Landing Pages

Sign-Up Forms & Pop-Ups

Drip

Drip is a controlling and effective email marketing software for all types of business owners, and many such industries where sending bulk email is an essential part of their marketing strategy. This emailing software has tools like automation, sales funnels, and personalization to make things customer-friendly. It includes easy integration with platforms like WordPress and WooCommerce. This results in capturing more leads from your website.

What makes Drip so special is the intelligent segmentation feature, split testing methods, and visual drag and drop ability. This makes the work easy for your team to send more accurate and personalized messages that can help with conversion. One can use this software to send bulk mail while effectively connecting and engaging with clients on a personal level. This attribution feature shows how much revenue one can generate in any campaign using Drip.

What are the features of Drip?

Personalized emails

Communicate with your customers from email, to SMS, to social, and everywhere else.

Collect data from the website

SMS automation

Segmentation

Reporting

What is the Function of an Email Marketing Tool?

Email marketing platforms should essentially make things easier for you. They should automate your email and marketing campaigns and help you create engaging content based on your customers’ individual preferences. The essential features you must look for in your email marketing software are:

User-friendly interface

Segmentation

Personalization feature

Automation

Testing

Reporting and analytic capabilities

Conclusion

This article will definitely provide you with good insight so that you can choose your email marketing tool and further analyze what features all of them provide. Typically, the marketing plans you choose from can be monthly or annually, and you can make your decision based on your requirements and the type of business you run.

The monthly option is typically based on the pay-as-you-go method, which means no fixed contract and it can be cancelled anytime. It’s advised that you test the new platform before opting for the annual plan. Demos can help buy trials on live data anytime is better, as it helps you get a clear picture and see the results yourself. By doing so, you can identify any issue before getting locked into a year-long commitment. Your decision should clearly be based on your database and also your budget for marketing emails. If you have any questions, feel free to contact us at ReversedOut Creative.

Contact Us

At Reversed Out Creative, we understand the challenges and opportunities presented by AI disruption. Our team of experts specializes in web design, SEO, graphic design, and digital marketing services. Reach out to us through our contact form to learn more about navigating the evolving job market and embracing the potential of AI. Together, let’s shape a future that combines human ingenuity with the power of AI.

Content source: https://reversedout.com/email-marketing-tools/

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Mastering Data Science: Essential Skills and Tools for Success

Introduction

Data science has emerged as a powerful field that blends statistical analysis, programming, and domain expertise to extract valuable insights from data. In today's data-driven world, mastering data science has become essential for individuals and businesses alike. In this article, we will explore the fundamental skills and tools necessary to excel in data science.

Understanding Data Science

Data science is the interdisciplinary field that involves extracting knowledge and insights from structured and unstructured data. It combines various techniques from mathematics, statistics, computer science, and domain expertise to analyze complex datasets and make data-driven decisions.

Essential Skills for Data Scientists

a. Statistical Knowledge:

Data scientists need a solid understanding of statistical concepts such as probability, hypothesis testing, regression analysis, and machine learning algorithms. Statistical knowledge helps in making informed decisions and drawing meaningful conclusions from data.

b. Programming Skills:

Proficiency in programming languages like Python, R, and SQL is crucial for data scientists. These languages are widely used for data manipulation, visualization, and machine learning tasks. Mastering programming skills enables data scientists to efficiently work with large datasets and develop data-driven solutions.

c. Data Visualization:

Data visualization is the process of representing data graphically to uncover patterns, trends, and insights. Data scientists should be proficient in using visualization tools like Matplotlib, Seaborn, and Tableau to create compelling visualizations that communicate complex information effectively.

d. Machine Learning:

Machine learning is a subset of artificial intelligence that enables systems to learn from data and make predictions or decisions without being explicitly programmed. Data scientists should have a strong understanding of machine learning algorithms such as linear regression, decision trees, and neural networks to build predictive models and derive insights from data.

e. Domain Expertise:

Domain expertise refers to the understanding of the specific industry or field in which data analysis is performed. Data scientists need to collaborate with domain experts to contextualize data and identify relevant insights that drive business value. Domain knowledge helps in formulating meaningful hypotheses and interpreting results accurately.

Tools for Data Science

a. Python:

Python is one of the most popular programming languages for data science due to its simplicity, versatility, and extensive libraries for data manipulation, analysis, and visualization. Libraries like NumPy, Pandas, and Scikit-learn provide powerful tools for handling data and implementing machine learning algorithms.

b. R:

R is another programming language commonly used in data science, particularly in academia and research. It offers a wide range of packages for statistical analysis, data visualization, and machine learning. RStudio is a popular integrated development environment (IDE) for R programming.

c. SQL:

Structured Query Language (SQL) is essential for working with relational databases and querying data. Data scientists often use SQL to extract, manipulate, and analyze data stored in databases such as MySQL, PostgreSQL, and SQLite.

d. Jupyter Notebooks:

Jupyter Notebooks are interactive computing environments that allow data scientists to write and execute code, visualize data, and document their analysis in a single document. Jupyter Notebooks support multiple programming languages, including Python, R, and Julia, making them a versatile tool for data science projects.

e. Tableau:

Tableau is a powerful data visualization tool that enables users to create interactive dashboards and reports from various data sources. It offers drag-and-drop functionality and intuitive interfaces for designing visually appealing visualizations without writing code.

Data Cleaning and Preprocessing

Data cleaning and preprocessing are essential steps in the data analysis process to ensure the quality and reliability of the data. Data scientists need to identify and handle missing values, outliers, and inconsistencies in the data before performing any analysis or modeling.

Exploratory Data Analysis (EDA)

Exploratory Data Analysis (EDA) involves analyzing and visualizing data to understand its underlying structure, patterns, and relationships. EDA techniques such as summary statistics, histograms, scatter plots, and correlation matrices help data scientists gain insights into the data and formulate hypotheses for further analysis.

Feature Engineering

Feature engineering is the process of selecting, transforming, and creating new features from raw data to improve the performance of machine learning models. Data scientists use domain knowledge and statistical techniques to engineer meaningful features that capture relevant information and enhance the predictive power of models.

Model Building and Evaluation

Model building involves selecting and training machine learning algorithms on the dataset to make predictions or classifications. Data scientists need to evaluate the performance of models using appropriate metrics and techniques such as cross-validation, hyperparameter tuning, and model interpretation to ensure robust and reliable results.

Communication and Collaboration

Effective communication and collaboration skills are essential for data scientists to convey their findings and insights to stakeholders, decision-makers, and team members. Data scientists should be able to communicate complex technical concepts in simple terms and work collaboratively with cross-functional teams to solve business problems.

Continuous Learning and Improvement

Data science is a rapidly evolving field with new techniques, algorithms, and technologies emerging regularly. Data scientists need to stay updated with the latest trends, research papers, and best practices through continuous learning and professional development. Engaging in online courses, attending workshops, and participating in communities such as Kaggle and GitHub can help data scientists expand their knowledge and skills.

Conclusion

Mastering data science requires a combination of technical skills, domain expertise, and practical experience. By acquiring essential skills and leveraging the right tools and techniques, aspiring data scientists can unlock the potential of data to drive innovation, solve complex problems, and create value in today's data-driven world.