#paranoia and the perceptions that stem from them

[t-tomuras]

^ me at my fucking self

[barksenji]

I was going through a tough time, so here's some headcanons about Horror and Dust. I love them sm.

Dust Sans (Dusttale)

- His psychosis began long before his first kill, probably as a result of the stress and trauma from multiple resets. It was a major factor in his eventual decision to embrace the killings.

- He doesn’t actually "see ghosts"—his visions are hallucinations. Along with hallucinations, he also experiences delusions, disorganized thoughts, and speech patterns that can become erratic.

- He has a "masochistic" streak, though he keeps it hidden. Whether it stems from self-hatred or a way to feel something real is debatable.

- Despite everything, he's still Sans at his core. His humor and personality are still there, but his psychosis has distorted his perception of the world, warping his sense of morality and reality.

- His tendency to talk to “Papyrus” could be a coping mechanism as much as a symptom—he might be trying to rationalize his actions, seeking approval from a figure that no longer exists.

- He's probably schizoaffective or schizophrenic, though it can be debated whether or not he was at risk from the start. His depression and anhedonia could have been early signs, possibly prodromal symptoms. He is extremely paranoid of everyone in return, constantly terrified, disoriented, and confused.

Horror Sans (Horrortale)

- He has severe disordered eating, partly due to guilt. He doesn’t feel deserving of food, and despite his hardened exterior, self-loathing gnaws at him. Even if food was readily available, he would deliberately starve himself as a form of self punishment.

- He is deeply paranoid and distrustful of others—something that is already suggested (if not outright stated) in canon. His head trauma led to mood swings and erratic behavior, but combined with what he endured emotionally, he likely developed C-PTSD which worsened those symptoms.

- His head injury probably affected his impulse control, which may explain why he destroyed the Core. If his ability to regulate emotions and actions was impaired, moments of extreme frustration or distress could lead to catastrophic decisions. People with TBIs do tend to exhibit impulsivity and disinhibition. He probably wasn't able to fully think through the consequences of what he was about to do.

Again this is kind of technically canon, lol.

- Experiences sleep paralysis often.

- He still cares about Papyrus, but in a worn-out, fucked-up, hopeless way. Deep down, though, he doesn't even fully trust his brother. His paranoia has seeped into their relationship.

I love making these two interact because they're both incredibly paranoid and snappy, so. Hehe. Yeah.

[thatstonedwriter]

˚₊‧🍄[ More to Love ]🍃˚₊‧

◉ Synopsis; The characters comfort their s/o who's struggling with body dysphoria

◉ CW; mentions of body dysphoria/insecurity, health paranoia, implied struggles with eating/eating disorders

◉ A/n- Been a rough couple of weeks for me so. Little self indulgent piece

◉ feat; Vash, Wolfwood

It's not always like this. There isn't always shame about your meal choices. It's not every day your eyes linger on the least favorite parts of yourself when you looked in the mirror. There wasn't always a nagging paranoia about your health, or how others saw you. But today was just rough.

Vash almost immediately picks up on any change from your typical attitude/behaviors. Throughout the day, he tries to offer small reassurances; a gentle hand on your shoulder, the occasional kiss on the head, an arm around your waist- but no matter what he tries, you always seem to shy away. Normally, Vash has a good amount of patience- but when his partner is clearly bothered by something? He has a little less tolerance. He confronts you gently, not wanting to intimidate you or scare you off. When you finally tell him about your insecurities and how long they've been bothering you, he begins to cry. How could you ever be insecure? You're so attractive, so incredible, so human- he never wants you to see yourself in such a negative light. Vash won't be pushy about it, but he wants to make sure you eat- regardless of what that voice in your head says. Expect lots of kisses littered anywhere he can reach. Mans is practically an octopus with how handsy he is. Vash never wants you to feel alone or insecure- not when he's right there to pick you up when you're down.

Wolfwood is less perceptive, but once he notices, just as concerned as Vash (if not more so). Wolfwood is no stranger to insecurity or isolation, so when you begin to pull away, his heart starts to break. What could possibly be pushing you to this self-imposed seclusion? When he realizes it's insecurity regarding your body, he can empathize. Wolfwood was forced into the body he's in, so he understands the feelings of dysphoria that come with existing in a body you're not comfortable with. He's not the best with verbal reassurance, but that doesn't mean he won't try. Wolfwood is more pushy/insistent than Vash when it comes to making sure you're eating- he's lost so much, he doesn't need to lose you too- especially not over something he can so easily help you with. He'll do his best to show his affection through small actions; standing closer to you, lingering touches, a quiet "you look nice..", giving you any food he doesn't eat, etc. If your insecurities stem from things people have said, Wolfwood has to be held back from using the Punisher to put them in their place. Wolfwood's top priority is protecting you- if that means something small like making sure you eat, or something big like maiming your enemies, he'll do it.

[shall-we-die]

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{Stigma}

What brought about this side of then (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

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↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Jujutsu Kaisen}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Yandere behaviors}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0094}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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The real reason: gege

↬|Gojo|

I could definitely see a lot of reasons for him turning out that way. Maybe as a child he never got to have any friends, he was always isolated. Could explain why he’d be a bit clingy. He had been raised by like a really strict, cold and uncaring family, and was never loved (aside from being a prodigy of course) Insecurity/the need to be in control because he’s constantly looked up to as the “god of sorcery”/“strongest sorcerer”

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↬|Geto|

Let's not talk about this dude.

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↬|Sukuna|

Considering his status as the King of Curses, it's possible that his origin story involves a tragic event from his childhood (child abuse/ neglect) which shaped his sadistic and evil nature, leading to his obsession and possessiveness towards his s/o. Additionally, his curiosity could be another factor that contributes to his interest in them and wanting to possess them entirely.

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↬|Nanami|

It would most probably be a result of his childhood trauma and insecurities.  Perhaps he grew up with a lack of love and attention, causing him to develop a fear of abandonment and becoming extremely possessive in his relationships. He might also have a deep-seated inferiority complex that drives him to control his s/o in order to satisfy his own ego and gain a sense of power.

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↬|Itadori|

Yuji's yandere personality might develop gradually, influenced by a combination of factors such as childhood experiences, personal insecurities, and a desire for possession. For example, his past traumas, such as losing loved ones or experiencing abandonment, can lead to a fear of loss. This fear drives him to protect his partner at all costs, even if it means resorting to darker methods. It could also stem from a possessive nature and an intense need for control due to fear of being abandoned or rejected. Additionally, his yandere tendencies might be fueled by his strong attachment to his partner.

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↬|Megumi|

Growing up, he have experienced neglect or abandonment which lead him to feel insecure and possessive of his relationships. He might also have a deep-seated paranoia and fear of losing the people he loves, which could lead him to resort to extreme measures to keep them close. Alternatively, he might simply derive a perverse pleasure from dominating and controlling someone he cares about, and might have a warped perception of what love and affection really means.

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↬|Inumaki|

A traumatic childhood experience, where his trust was betrayed and he developed an intense fear of losing the people he cares about. Feeling of inferiority and insecurity, which made him want to tightly control his s/o, out of fear of losing them to someone else. An innate and obsessive personality, coupled with a desire for power and control. The influence of his cursed technique, which makes it easy for him to use his commanding voice to manipulate and influence others' behavior, including his s/o.

||[🅂tigma]||

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[visd3stele]

Corioleanus Snow is one of the best written, extremely interesting and complex characters and he's not developing at all during his book. no growth arc, nor the opposite, no change of values or principles.

at his core, he's a scared little boy. the truest self we see of him is in the arena, when it's bombed and he grips Lucy Gray's skirt whitout a second thought, going back to the times of vulnerability and fear from his childhood. usually when he feels fear, he's ashamed, but then he's too caught in time to reeber to feel anything but fright.

sometimes i even got the feeling he's amoral, no real distinction between good acts and bad deeds. the only thing he can see, understand, can matter to him is his survival and what stands in his way.

which is natural, after so many years of war. he has feelings, he has a skewed perception of the districts from before and during the war when they were the lower class enemy. he was raised to have the world at his little finger and it was taken from him, so he feels wronged by life itself. he saw his neighbours eating people and, besides the moral superiority it gave him, he also gained a whole lot of paranoia. he learned from a young age the world is cruel and, worse, unstable. at any moment, without warning, he can find himself back in the days of war, starving, not knowing if he'll see the dawns of a new say. so he seeks stability, control, safety. it's all that matters.

he learned to think like that, using everything, from social interactions and appearances to working underneath the surface with betrayel and secrets to "land on top".

he's also ashamed, which stems from fear. fear of being seen as less than, when his name alone once guaranteed respect all around the city. securing a bright future is all he can do to honor it and trully make himself feel at peace.

BUT he has moments when it's clear that he has a sense of justice, a moral compass and the potential to change its bigoted views on the districts. they're not exactly rare, but they're shadowed by other things posing a threat to his – and his family's, by extansion – life.

so Snow doesn't say a word about Clemmie's fate in the hospital, even though he's aahamed of not helping. fear of dr. gaul won, fear of becoming like her or being made lost by the head of Games won. he recognize his biasis and questions them, in regards of Lucy Gray mostly, but theese are always only fleeting thoughts. somethings he can think, but not feel in his core. maybe he could reach that, if he put someone else first (and that someone can be even granma'am or Tigris). but everything is always about him.

because he's still a scared little boy in need of safety and control of his life. he may have grown and have a sharp, intelligent beyond his age mind, but that was neccessarly to survive. his empathy, his feelings, everything regarding the heart and soul, remained frozen in time at those war years.

and when time comes, he doesn't consider other options, no matter if he feels sorry or not for what he's doing. betraying Sejeanus, betraying Lucy Gray. it's not patriotism, he's not a nationalist. he feels respect towards the Capitol as long as it can make him look good, be in the center of everyone's approving, loving attention and mantain the ilussion of control and safety he wrapped around himself. no, Snow does everything he does, taking these decisions with a cold, calculated mind, only for himself. his family is a second thought, yes, but primarely it's all about himself.

he doesn't know how to love, how to be compasionate. he needs and asks for everything around himself, like a little child, without giving in return. because he didn't develop the means to. he shut down – first time, during the war, unconscious, then he chose to – everything that could put itself in its way toward his goal. which isn't something villainy and evil, like taking over the world. it's having control over his life and others ( to make sure no one can hurt him ) because it's the only way he can understand safety. and safety he craves thoroughly.

and, HE DOESN'T WANT TO LEARN. he complies with his surroundings and what they make of him. change is not even a mere thought in his sleep depraived mind. he seeks to make the best out of everything thrown at him, but never considers changing the board entirely, changing himself. may be a trauma response or simply a lack on his part, too focused on winning playing by familiar, yet still foreign rules he needs to master. but what it surely isn't is crazyness. Snow's the bad guy fair and square, but not because he's out of it. on the contrary, what makes him so compeling and scary is: he has all means to be different and takes the conscious decisions to disregard it and become "just like his father" (with a cold, hateful look in his eyes).

his choice, thus, become even more tragic. because he actually could, he had the means to, make a different one. be good. be a rebel. help people, for he knows pain himself.

we follow a scared child playing in the snakes' den and CHOOSING to become like them to not be attacked and ostricized. no matter how beautiful the songbird sings, it can't keep him alive, fed and safe.

[pinefieldparadox]

Rules of Magic

In the Pinefield universe, magic as a force is all around us. However, accessing the ability to use it is powered by strong belief as well as the opening of the 'third eye', which allows magic users to see the normally hidden threads of the fabric of reality.

The concept of the third eye in this context is not literal, but instead a metaphorical representation of a soul's awakening to their 'arcane spark' - a dormant magical spark that exists within all beings.

Although all beings possess this dormant arcane spark and thus influence reality in unconscious and subtle ways, every practitioner of magic has had a moment of revelation wherein they first saw through the illusion of normalcy. Once this third eye is opened, it can never be closed again.

This is a form of spiritual enlightenment, and usually follows a grand epiphany that fundamentally changes how one views the world. It is a moment of ontological dissonance, an event that breaks the individual's understanding of reality so thoroughly that it ultimately allows them to perceive, manipulate, and hone that arcane spark.

As such, magic is shaped and channeled by the caster's intent. In order to cast a spell, the caster must have a clear, focused purpose and strong conviction within themselves and their abilities.

Magical Psychosis

The more a person uses powerful magic, the more detached from normal reality they can become.

Long-term magic users may suffer from insomnia, paranoia, or a feeling of distance from the mundane world. Meditation, forming connections with other mages, and certain rituals can help keep a mage sane. If a mage loses control of their mind, their magic may spiral out of control as well.

This is, in essence and for lack of better words, magical psychosis. The mage becomes mentally disconnected from reality, and in turn, their magic follows their distorted beliefs.

The threat of magical psychosis can be alleviated through dedicated methods such as routine meditation, specific grounding techniques, and the use of Circle Magic.

The Weave & Magical Residue

The fabric of reality, known to supernatural beings as the Weave, is fragile. Those who pull too hard at its' threads may find themselves unraveling along with it.

Though typical magic cannot tear the Weave, advanced or forbidden spells may rupture it temporarily, causing localized instability that heals slowly over time. This is known as Piercing, and is extremely dangerous to both the caster and those around them.

The Weave is shaped by collective belief (regardless of one's magical awareness), and evolves alongside humanity's beliefs in the supernatural, or lack thereof. Spells work best when they are 'believable.' As such, a spell to make someone forget your face is easier to pull off than one that turns you invisible.

As a result of the power of belief - rather, the lack thereof - blatant magic must remain hidden from normal, unawakened eyes. If it becomes too visible, undeniable, or disruptive, rationalization and denial will cause the Weave to either lash out and reject it in self-defense, or unravel entirely.

To preserve reality's coherence, the unawakened mind subconsciously rationalizes magical events by rewriting memories or distorting perception. But if denial fails, the Weave itself intervenes. In dreams, this rule is much more relaxed as the unawakened mind is less inclined to rationalize away the things they see in dreams. See below for more information.

When the Weave lashes out at a magic user, it leaves a wound on the soul itself. These wounds take a long time to heal, and the more soul wounds one has, the more likely one is to be erased as reality forcibly corrects itself. While magical psychosis stems from internal overexertion, soul wounds are the Weave's punishment, leaving deep metaphysical scars from pushing its' boundaries.

Major manipulations of time, space, and the natural laws of the world are typically forbidden because they threaten the stability of reality as well as the physical integrity of the caster.

Every spell leaves an imprint on the world, a faint echo that can be sensed by those who know how to see it. Only supernatural creatures are naturally able to detect it, but hunters can train themselves to see it and track magic users with it. The more powerful the magic, the more 'dense' residue is left behind. The most powerful mages must be careful not to draw attention, either from other rival mages, from witch hunters, or from malicious spiritual entities.

Circle Magic

While magic can be practiced alone, its power increases exponentially when knowing practitioners come together. 'Circle' magic involves multiple magic users working together to cast spells that are too powerful or complex for a single individual.

This is typically done via shared intent, forming a spiritual resonance that amplifies their individual arcane sparks. In doing so, this alleviates the mental toll magic can have on the user by equalizing it.

Belief-based traditions and exposure can 'prime' the arcane spark, allowing for earlier or less traumatic Revelations. As such, some families operate as circles, albeit in secret.

Some spells, artifacts, or rituals gain greater power through legacy. Magical heirlooms gain more and more power through the belief in their strength over the course of generations.

Magical Anomalies and the Veil

Sometimes, things happen and even the most experienced of mages do not have adequate explanations for why.

Usually, magical anomalies are the result of interference from 'outside entities', such as demons, fae, or spirits. These beings are invisible to the naked eye, incomprehensible to mortal minds, and are usually hidden behind a 'Veil'. They operate on different rules entirely, and it is not known what exactly these rules are.

Very rarely, humans can glimpse at or make contact with these creatures through the Veil via various means such as complex rituals or sigils. Or sleep paralysis, for some reason.

When these beings cross over through the Veil and into the Weave, magical anomalies can occur.

One example is that of an immortal man who possesses a spirit of vitality within his soul, causing him to come back from death no matter what. Another is of a fae being inhabiting a girl's body and influencing probability through positive and negative emotions.

And then there are demons, who use openings in the Veil to prey on humans. There are hunters who track down and eliminate demons. Some rare individuals can resist or banish these entities by anchoring themselves in deep, personal belief, but not everyone is strong enough to fight back on their own. Demons feed on doubt, fear, guilt, and/or delusion, warping reality around them to gain influence.

The Impact of Dreams

Dreams can cross the boundary between reality and the Veil, making them one of the few natural ways mortals can perceive or interact with magical forces and outside entities. Dreams are naturally unrealistic in many ways, and as such, dreams are capable of weakening one's rationality against magic.

Some mages may experience the moment of Revelation in the form of a dream. Lucid dreams are a powerful gateway between the Veil and the Weave, allowing magic users greater freedom when it comes to rituals and spells. Because belief shapes magic, dreams allow unrestrained testing of one's arcane will. A lucid dream can serve as a sandbox for learning magic safely.

Some mages, known as dreamwalkers, are capable of entering the dreams of others.

The Weave is partially formed by collective belief. Dreams, as mass subconscious output, leave impressions on it. Dreamscapes are like liminal realms where prophetic dreams, warnings, or new spells may occur. Mages suffering from magical psychosis may start having distorted nightmares.

There is a class of demon that feeds on and harvests the magical energy of dreams, especially nightmares, called the Dream Eater.

[connectparanormal]

Ghosts and Confusion

A common motif in literature, folklore, and cultural traditions worldwide is the notion that ghosts cause bewilderment. Frequently, we portray this perplexity as both situational and psychological, stemming from the ghost's ambiguous character and capacity to disrupt reality's normal flow. By definition, ghosts are in a state of transition, caught between the material and the immaterial, between life and death. For individuals who come into contact with them, this ambiguous nature tends to cause confusion. Ghosts are known to manipulate perception in order to cause confusion. People who experience ghosts frequently describe seeing brief shadows, hearing unexplained noises, or experiencing unexplainable sensations. These nuanced and frequently contradictory experiences make it difficult for people to trust their own senses, leading them to question the difference between reality and imagination. This loss of confidence can turn into anxiety or paranoia, particularly if the spectral activity gets more intense or invasive.

The ghost's motivations, which are frequently ambiguous, contribute to this misunderstanding in another way. Often, people depict ghosts as mysterious spirits, while live individuals typically dictate their actions by observable objectives or feelings. Their communication styles are usually vague and indirect, even if they may seem to be asking for assistance, issuing a warning, or seeking retribution. For example, a ghost may appear as an eerie presence in a particular place, leave perplexing clues, or repeatedly relive horrific experiences. Such behavior forces witnesses to piece together scattered data, leading to doubt and mental strain. Ghosts' challenge to the distinction between the natural and the supernatural may exacerbate confusion. Ghosts can validate long-held concerns or beliefs for those who believe in them, but for skeptics, an encounter could result in a radical rethinking of how they perceive the world. People may feel disoriented and uncertain of what to do as a result of cognitive dissonance, which occurs when the mind finds it difficult to reconcile an inexplicable experience with accepted reasoning or science.

According to some stories, spirits purposefully employ confusion as a means of achieving their objectives. In order to confuse their targets and make it harder for them to resist or flee, they may manipulate time, space, or memory. For instance, a ghost might create an endless number of hallways in a house, guide a person in circles, or alter their perception of time, leaving them in a state of confusion. These strategies can increase a person's level of fear and vulnerability, making them more vulnerable to the ghost's control. In the end, ghosts' perplexity is more about a deeper existential uneasiness than it is about dread or misdirection. Ghosts serve as a reminder of death, unresolved trauma, and the unknown. Their capacity to obscure reality reflects humanity's inability to understand the mysteries of life. Real or imagined, they represent the chaos that lurks just beneath the surface of everyday life, making people wonder about themselves and their environment.

[delhimindclinic]

7 Critical Early Symptoms of Schizophrenia You Shouldn’t Ignore

Introduction

Schizophrenia is a chronic mental health condition that significantly impacts how individuals think, feel, and behave. Early identification of the early symptoms of schizophrenia can pave the way for timely interventions and better outcomes. This blog explores seven key early symptoms of schizophrenia, offering insights into their manifestations and the importance of professional help.

What Is Schizophrenia?

Schizophrenia is a complex disorder characterized by disruptions in thought processes, perceptions, and emotional responsiveness. Though it can manifest in different ways, recognizing its early signs can make a crucial difference in managing the condition effectively.

For further information, refer to authoritative resources like the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) and MentalHealth.gov.

For individuals seeking treatment for Schizophrenia, consider consulting qualified mental health professionals such as:

Delhi Mind Clinic

Dr. Sugandha Gupta

Dr. Paramjeet Singh

https://www.bestpsychiatristsindelhi.com/

1. Social Withdrawal

One of the earliest signs of schizophrenia is withdrawing from friends, family, and social activities. People may feel disconnected or isolated, preferring to spend time alone. This behavior, a common early symptom of schizophrenia, is often mistaken for shyness or introversion, delaying proper diagnosis.

2. Difficulty Thinking Clearly

Individuals may experience challenges in focusing, problem-solving, or organizing their thoughts. This symptom, another early symptom of schizophrenia, is often described as “brain fog,” where the person struggles to think coherently or express themselves effectively.

3. Unusual or Suspicious Beliefs

Early schizophrenia may manifest as paranoia or unfounded mistrust. Individuals might believe others are plotting against them or that they are being watched. Such early symptoms of schizophrenia can initially be subtle but tend to intensify over time.

4. Emotional Flatness or Inappropriate Emotions

Changes in emotional responses are another key indicator of the early symptoms of schizophrenia. A person may appear emotionless, showing little or no reaction to situations that would typically evoke strong feelings. Alternatively, they might express emotions that seem out of place.

5. Decline in Daily Functioning

Neglecting personal hygiene, losing interest in work or school, and a general lack of motivation are common early symptoms of schizophrenia. This decline often stems from cognitive and emotional impairments associated with the disorder.

6. Hallucinations and Perceptual Changes

Hallucinations—hearing voices or seeing things that aren’t there—can begin subtly. These experiences, characteristic of the early symptoms of schizophrenia, are usually unsettling and can make the individual question reality.

7. Sleep Disturbances

Changes in sleep patterns, such as insomnia or excessive sleeping, often accompany the early symptoms of schizophrenia. These disruptions can exacerbate other symptoms, contributing to a cycle of worsening mental health.

Why Early Recognition Matters

Identifying the early symptoms of schizophrenia is essential for seeking professional guidance and support. Delayed diagnosis often leads to increased challenges in managing the condition effectively. If you or someone you know exhibits these symptoms, consult a licensed mental health professional promptly.

For additional resources, visit SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) or NHS.

Tips for Supporting Someone with Early Schizophrenia Symptoms

Encourage Communication: Open and non-judgmental dialogue can help them feel supported.

Educate Yourself: Understanding schizophrenia can enable you to provide informed support.

Seek Professional Help: Encourage them to consult a mental health expert.

Be Patient: Recovery is a gradual process, requiring understanding and persistence.

Conclusion

Recognizing the early symptoms of schizophrenia can significantly impact the course of the condition, enabling early interventions that improve long-term outcomes. With proper awareness and timely action, individuals can lead fulfilling lives and manage their symptoms effectively. It is essential to create an environment that fosters understanding and eliminates the stigma surrounding mental health disorders like schizophrenia.

Support from family, friends, and mental health professionals plays a vital role in recovery. Additionally, advocating for better mental health resources and educating communities about the condition can ensure that individuals receive the care they deserve. For more information, explore resources from the CDC Mental Health and the World Health Organization (WHO).

[primavera1100]

Symptoms of personality disorder

Recognizing the Symptoms of Personality Disorders: Insights from Dr. Gorav Gupta

Personality disorders are complex mental health conditions that significantly impact how individuals perceive themselves, interact with others, and manage their emotions. Dr. Gorav Gupta, a prominent psychiatrist with years of experience in treating personality disorders, shares his insights on the symptoms of these conditions. By understanding the key signs and symptoms, individuals and their families can better recognize when professional help might be necessary.

What is a Personality Disorder?

Personality disorders involve enduring patterns of thought, behavior, and emotional experience that differ significantly from the cultural expectations of the individual’s environment. These patterns are often rigid and inflexible, leading to distress and difficulty in personal and professional relationships. Dr. Gupta explains that personality disorders are typically diagnosed in adulthood but may begin to show signs in late adolescence.

Common Symptoms Across Personality Disorders

Personality disorders are categorized into different types, each with specific symptoms. However, Dr. Gupta notes that certain symptoms and behavioral patterns are common across many personality disorders. Here are some of the key indicators:

Difficulty with Relationships Individuals with personality disorders often struggle to maintain stable, healthy relationships. They may experience frequent conflicts, misunderstandings, and mistrust, which can lead to a cycle of intense but unstable relationships.

Inflexible Thinking Patterns A hallmark of personality disorders is rigid thinking, where individuals view situations and people in black-and-white terms. Dr. Gupta explains that this inflexibility can lead to distorted perceptions of reality and difficulty adapting to change.

Extreme Emotional Reactions People with personality disorders often experience intense and unpredictable emotions. They may shift rapidly from anger to sadness, or from idealizing someone to feeling deep resentment toward them. These emotional swings can make it challenging for others to understand and support them.

Impulsive and Risky Behavior Impulsivity is another common symptom. This can manifest as reckless spending, substance abuse, risky sexual behavior, or outbursts of anger. Dr. Gupta notes that impulsive actions often stem from a need to cope with emotional distress or a lack of impulse control.

Distorted Self-Image Many individuals with personality disorders have a poor or unstable self-image. This can lead to chronic feelings of emptiness, low self-worth, and an excessive need for validation from others. In some cases, individuals may experience drastic shifts in how they view themselves.

Fear of Abandonment Fear of abandonment is a central symptom in some personality disorders, particularly borderline personality disorder (BPD). People with this fear may go to great lengths to avoid perceived rejection or separation, leading to behaviors like clinging, testing relationships, or emotional outbursts.

Persistent Paranoia or Mistrust In disorders like paranoid personality disorder, individuals often believe that others intend to harm, deceive, or exploit them, even in the absence of concrete evidence. This mistrust can make it difficult to form close relationships or confide in others.

Social Withdrawal Some personality disorders, such as avoidant personality disorder, are characterized by a pervasive fear of criticism or rejection, leading individuals to withdraw socially. This withdrawal can create feelings of loneliness and deepen emotional struggles.

Difficulty Understanding Boundaries Many individuals with personality disorders may struggle with understanding or respecting personal boundaries, either by intruding into others' personal space or by isolating themselves. Dr. Gupta points out that boundary issues can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships.

Types of Personality Disorders

Dr. Gupta emphasizes that personality disorders are classified into three main clusters:

Cluster A (Odd or Eccentric): Includes paranoid, schizoid, and schizotypal personality disorders. Symptoms often include social detachment and unusual thoughts or behaviors.

Cluster B (Dramatic, Emotional, or Erratic): Includes borderline, narcissistic, histrionic, and antisocial personality disorders. This cluster is associated with intense emotions, impulsivity, and difficulty with empathy.

Cluster C (Anxious or Fearful): Includes avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorders. People in this cluster often struggle with feelings of inadequacy, a strong need for control, or fears of criticism and rejection.

When to Seek Help

If you or someone you know is experiencing persistent symptoms that disrupt daily life or relationships, Dr. Gupta encourages seeking professional support. Personality disorders are treatable, often through therapies like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and sometimes medication. Early intervention can help individuals manage symptoms and improve their quality of life.

Dr. Gupta’s Perspective

Dr. Gorav Gupta’s approach emphasizes the importance of understanding and compassion in treating personality disorders. He believes that, while these disorders can be challenging, individuals can lead fulfilling lives with the right treatment and support. By recognizing the symptoms, loved ones can support those affected and encourage them toward treatment.

Final Thoughts

Personality disorders are complex, but awareness is a powerful first step. Dr. Gupta reminds us that early diagnosis and professional support can make a profound difference in managing symptoms and improving relationships. No one has to face a personality disorder alone, and seeking help can open the door to understanding, stability, and growth.

[jclbehavioralhealth]

Is Paranoia a Symptom of Bipolar Disorder? Understanding the Connection

When discussing mental health disorders, it is essential to understand the full spectrum of symptoms and their implications for daily life. One question that often arises is, "Is paranoia a symptom of bipolar disorder?" This inquiry sheds light on the complex nature of bipolar disorder and how it manifests in various individuals. In this blog post, we will explore the relationship between paranoia and bipolar disorder, including how paranoia can influence one's experience of the condition, such as through bipolar isolation and its effect on individuals.

Understanding Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition characterized by extreme mood swings, including emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). These mood swings can significantly impact a person’s behavior, energy levels, and overall functioning. The condition is typically classified into two main types: Bipolar I Disorder, which involves severe manic episodes often accompanied by depressive episodes, and Bipolar II Disorder, which includes hypomanic episodes and more severe depressive episodes.

Is Paranoia a Symptom of Bipolar Disorder?

Paranoia Highs can indeed be a component of bipolar disorder, particularly during manic or hypomanic episodes. During these periods, individuals may experience heightened paranoia, which manifests as intense and irrational fears that others are plotting against them or monitoring their actions. This kind of paranoia can be quite distressing and may significantly impact an individual's perception of reality.

Bipolar Isolation and Paranoia

One of the challenging aspects of bipolar disorder is how it can lead to bipolar isolation. As mood swings fluctuate, individuals may withdraw from social interactions due to feelings of mistrust or fear. This isolation can exacerbate feelings of paranoia, creating a cycle where the individual feels increasingly disconnected from others, which in turn intensifies their paranoid thoughts.

For some, this isolation is not merely a result of mood swings but also stems from Paranoid Face, a term describing the expression and demeanor of someone who is experiencing intense paranoia. This can affect how others perceive and interact with them, potentially leading to further social withdrawal.

Female Paranoia and Bipolar Disorder

When considering female paranoia, it’s important to acknowledge that gender can influence the manifestation of bipolar disorder. Research indicates that women may experience bipolar disorder differently than men, including variations in how paranoia manifests. For women, paranoia may be influenced by hormonal changes, societal pressures, and other gender-specific factors. Understanding these nuances is crucial for providing tailored support and treatment.

Coping with Paranoia in Bipolar Disorder

Managing paranoia within the context of bipolar disorder requires a multifaceted approach:

Medication: Treatment often involves mood stabilizers and antipsychotic medications to help manage symptoms and reduce paranoia.

Therapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic modalities can assist individuals in addressing and reframing paranoid thoughts.

Support Networks: Building a strong support system can help mitigate feelings of isolation and provide a sense of connection.

Education: Understanding the relationship between paranoia and bipolar disorder can empower individuals and their loved ones to recognize symptoms and seek appropriate help.

Conclusion

In summary, paranoia can indeed be a symptom of bipolar disorder, particularly during manic or hypomanic phases. This paranoia can lead to significant challenges, such as bipolar isolation and changes in how individuals present themselves (Paranoid Face). For women, female paranoia may present with unique characteristics influenced by gender-specific factors. Addressing these symptoms through a combination of medication, therapy, and support is crucial for managing bipolar disorder effectively.

If you or someone you know is struggling with bipolar disorder and associated paranoia, it’s essential to seek professional help. At JCV Health Care, we are dedicated to providing comprehensive support for those affected by mental health conditions. Feel free to reach out to us for more information and assistance.

[createherebk]

Interview: Rossana Romero

How long have you been working with paper mache and why are you drawn to it as a medium?

I have been working with paper mache for about 2 years now on my own work. I became fascinated with the idea that I could make something big and would potentially be heavy if using any other material and I would still be able to install it on the wall without any issues.

My journey with this medium began during collaborative installations with other artists, where we utilized paper to create intricate designs or molds for prototypes. What drew me in initially was its remarkable versatility. Despite its lightweight nature, paper mache allowed us to craft sizable installations that could be easily mounted on walls without any logistical hurdles.

As I delved deeper into experimenting with the material, I started telling my family about my pieces and my uncle shared with me tips that he had learned growing up and also experimenting with materials like paper mache and found objects. I discovered its rich history and cultural significance in the Caribbean, Central and Latin America. This exploration opened my eyes to the depth of paper mache as an indigenous craft, existing long before my involvement. It's a process steeped in tradition and innovation, offering endless possibilities for artistic expression. My fascination with its history and potential for creativity continues to drive my exploration and experimentation in this timeless craft.

What is it about monsters that are appealing to you? What do they symbolize? Were you scared of monsters as a kid? Are you conquering or slaying monsters from the past?

Monsters have always held a special place in my artistic exploration, stemming from the complex interplay of fear, paranoia, and love that I grew up surrounded by. These emotions, I've come to realize, are deeply intertwined with systemic cycles, shaping our experiences and perceptions in profound ways.

In my work, I use what I affectionately call "monsters" as symbolic representations of these intricate emotional landscapes. They serve as tangible manifestations of the fears and anxieties that once haunted me, but also as vessels for exploring the transformative power of love and understanding.

While monsters may have been sources of fear in my past, I've learned to see them differently over time. They've become companions on my journey of healing and self-discovery, allowing me to confront and embrace the complexities of my own psyche. Rather than slaying or conquering them, I've chosen to engage with them in dialogue, nurturing a sense of empathy and compassion for the parts of myself that were once shrouded in darkness.

My monsters symbolize not only the shadows of my past but also the resilience and strength that come from facing them head-on. They're a reminder that within every fear lies the potential for growth and transformation, ultimately shaping the narrative of my own personal evolution.

How do you want viewers to experience monsters in your work?

In my work, I aim to immerse viewers in a multifaceted narrative experience, where motifs serve as signposts guiding them through the intricate tapestry of stories I weave. These motifs act as timestamps, anchoring the audience in the specific moments and realities I explore.

By strategically incorporating these recurring symbols, I invite viewers to not only navigate the narrative landscape but also to actively participate in unraveling its mysteries. Each motif acts as a gateway for observers to delve deeper into the layers of meaning and symbolism embedded within my art.

Ultimately, I hope that encountering these motifs sparks a sense of curiosity and discovery in viewers, prompting them to seek out connections and patterns that enrich their understanding of the broader narrative. It's a collaborative journey, where every motif encountered is a breadcrumb leading to new insights and revelations, inviting viewers to engage with my work on a deeper level.

Did working in the movie industry feed your interest in monsters and the grotesque?

This is definitely Rossana lore that I don’t really speak about, haha but I come from a background of working in special effects in the film industry where I got to learn and work under the best special effects artists and monster making artists in the industry, honing my skills in character creation and imbuing creatures with depth and realism.

While some may perceive my work as grotesque, I view it as an exploration of the intricacies of character design and storytelling. The experience of crafting monsters for the screen taught me to consider the nuances of each character's narrative, as well as the importance of grounding them in a tangible reality. This realism extends beyond mere aesthetics to encompass textures and details that evoke a visceral response in viewers.

My background in the movie industry has not only expanded my technical capabilities but also instilled in me a deeper appreciation for the complexities of storytelling and the power of visual expression. It's a journey that continues to inform and enrich my artistic endeavors, pushing me to explore the boundaries of creativity while staying rooted in the authenticity of the human experience.

What is the relationship between your paintings and paper maché? Do they inform each other? Is there any kind of dialogue between the two mediums?

The relationship between my paintings and paper maché sculptures is symbiotic, each informing and enriching the other in a dynamic dialogue of creativity. Particularly with my frames, I see them as more than just borders; they serve as gateways or portals into the myriad worlds and realities I explore in my art.

My sculptures act as vessels, introducing viewers to the motifs and characters that fill my paintings. These motifs serve as breadcrumbs, guiding observers through the narratives and themes embedded within my work. By strategically incorporating these recurring symbols, I invite viewers to actively participate in unraveling the stories I weave, providing context and foreshadowing through both visual cues and titles.

There's a fluid exchange of ideas and imagery between my paintings and sculptures, each contributing to the rich tapestry of storytelling that defines my artistic expression. Together, they form a harmonious whole, inviting viewers on a journey of exploration and discovery through the realms of imagination and symbolism.

What are you working on right now and what’s next?

Currently, I'm deeply immersed in the ongoing narratives that shape my artistic practice, delving deeper into the stories of revolution and colonization that have long captured my imagination. This process involves not only continuing existing storylines but also exploring new avenues for experimentation with materials and techniques.

While my work is meticulously planned, drawing from years of research and contemplation, there's always room for evolution and unexpected discoveries. I'm constantly pushing the boundaries of my creative expression, seeking to unearth new layers of meaning and relevance within the historical contexts that inspire me.

Looking ahead, I find myself on the cusp of a new chapter, where I'll be exploring different timelines of history while remaining anchored in the themes of love, fear, and paranoia that have shaped my personal journey. These themes resonate deeply with my experiences of migration and living in a surveillance state, fueling my commitment to creating art that sparks introspection and dialogue on these pressing societal issues.

[huroki]

Where Can You Get Magic Mushrooms?

In the world of natural psychedelics, magic mushrooms, also known as psilocybin mushrooms or simply "shrooms," have gained significant attention for their potential therapeutic benefits and mind-expanding properties. But where can you get magic mushrooms? This article will explore the various sources and considerations for obtaining magic mushrooms in a safe and responsible manner.

Introduction

Magic mushrooms have a long history of use in various cultures for spiritual and therapeutic purposes. They contain psilocybin, a naturally occurring psychedelic compound known for its profound effects on perception, cognition, and consciousness. Before delving into where to find them, it's crucial to understand the basics of magic mushrooms.

Understanding Magic Mushrooms

Magic mushrooms come in various species, with the most common ones being Psilocybe cubensis and Psilocybe semilanceata. These mushrooms are typically small to medium in size, with distinct caps and stems. The psychoactive component, psilocybin, interacts with serotonin receptors in the brain, leading to altered states of consciousness, visual hallucinations, and introspective experiences.

The Legal Status

Before seeking out magic mushrooms, it's essential to be aware of their legal status in your region. Laws regarding magic mushrooms vary significantly worldwide, with some countries and states decriminalizing or legalizing their use, while others maintain strict regulations. Always research and comply with local laws and regulations.

Growing Your Own

One option for obtaining magic mushrooms is to grow them at home. This process involves acquiring spore prints or syringes, cultivating the mushrooms in a controlled environment, and ensuring proper growing conditions. Growing your own mushrooms provides a level of control over the process and quality.

Wild Mushroom Foraging

For those with expertise in mycology and a good knowledge of local mushroom species, foraging for wild magic mushrooms is an option. However, it comes with significant risks, as misidentification can lead to consuming toxic mushrooms. Seek guidance from experienced foragers if you choose this route.

Online Suppliers

The internet has made it easier to access magic mushrooms through online suppliers. Some websites offer a variety of magic mushroom products, including dried mushrooms, spore prints, and grow kits. Exercise caution and research the reputation and legality of the supplier before making a purchase.

Community and Retreats

Joining a psychedelic community or attending a retreat where magic mushrooms are used in a guided and therapeutic context is another avenue. These gatherings often prioritize safety and responsible consumption while providing a supportive environment for transformative experiences.

Safety and Precautions

Regardless of your source, safety should be a top priority. Start with small doses to gauge your sensitivity, avoid mixing with other substances, and have a trusted friend as a trip sitter if you're inexperienced. Always be mindful of your mental and physical well-being during the experience.

Dosage and Consumption

Understanding the appropriate dosage and consumption methods is crucial to maximize the benefits and minimize risks. Consult reliable sources or professionals for guidance on dosing and consumption techniques.

Potential Benefits

Magic mushrooms have shown promise in treating various mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Research into their therapeutic potential continues to grow, making them a topic of interest in the medical and mental health communities.

Risks and Side Effects

While magic mushrooms can offer profound experiences, they also carry risks, including paranoia, confusion, and hallucinogen persisting perception disorder (HPPD). It's essential to be aware of potential side effects and risks associated with their use.

Legal Considerations

Always stay informed about the legal status of magic mushrooms in your area. Legal changes can occur, so it's essential to stay up-to-date with the latest developments and adhere to any regulations.

Myths and Misconceptions

Separating fact from fiction is crucial when it comes to magic mushrooms. Myths and misconceptions abound, so it's important to rely on credible sources for information and avoid sensationalized claims.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the availability of magic mushrooms varies depending on your location and preferences. Whether you choose to grow them at home, forage in the wild, or purchase from online suppliers, responsible and informed use should be a priority. Always prioritize your safety and well-being when exploring the world of magic mushrooms.

In recent years, the interest in the potential therapeutic benefits of magic mushrooms and microdoses of psilocybe mushrooms has been on the rise. People are seeking natural remedies for various mental health issues, and Cosmic Haus is here to meet that demand. Cosmic Haus proudly stands as Canada's #1 online mail order shroom dispensary, dedicated to providing the finest quality magic mushroom products to customers all across Canada.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Are magic mushrooms legal everywhere? Magic mushroom legality varies by country and region. Research your local laws before obtaining them.

Can I grow magic mushrooms at home? Yes, you can grow magic mushrooms at home with the right equipment and knowledge.

What are the potential therapeutic benefits of magic mushrooms? Magic mushrooms have shown potential in treating depression, anxiety, and PTSD, among other conditions.

Are there any risks associated with using magic mushrooms? Yes, risks include hallucinations, paranoia, and potential legal consequences. Use responsibly.

Where can I find more information on safe magic mushroom use? Consult reputable sources, online communities, or medical professionals for guidance on safe use.

[himboskywalker]

Hi! The Kenobi show made me wonder how much Anakin's choices were groomed by Palpatine being a master manipulator and by the Council overlooking the worrying aspects their friendship. What do you think? (I am genuinely curious as someone who is dipping her toes in Star Wars).

Hello! And welcome welcome!

I’m in a very niche category of how I interact with and perceive Anakin and his fall. While I love his character,and deeply empathize with his faults and fears,I also think there’s a middle ground in loving and understanding his character while also holding him responsible for his choices. Yes Palpatine groomed and influenced him,we see really just the tip of the iceberg in the films of the psychological influence he seeds with Anakin through the years,where some of the books and comics sheds more light on the darker aspects of this. Would he have been less likely to fall without the influence of Sidious since he was a boy? Yes I think absolutely so,I think exposure to twisted ideas coming from a mentor who’s supposed to guide him only further gray Anakin’s perception of the galaxy. Sidious wormed his way into Anakin’s trust through manipulative mentoring and flattery,and the result was Anakin listening to,not Obi-Wan,but this other mentor who soothed his ego and who he thought understood him. Sidious encouraged his volatility,his anger and fear,and primarily his mistrust and paranoia. And while Anakin is a temperamental and angry character and his faults are his own,I don’t think he would have been prone to a lot of his ideas of “my empire” and “the Jedi are evil” without Sidious’s years of darkside influence and manipulations.

But I don’t think the Council are responsible for this. We see a lot of evidence ( @gffa Check out Lumi’s meta on this it’s far better and more in depth than mine) in a myriad of canon sources that the Council don’t like Palpatine meddling and trying to be close with Anakin. They very much try to put themselves between the involvement of the Chancellor with Anakin,primarily in later years when it becomes more apparent. The Council do not want the influence of the Senate and the Chancellor,but they are also beholden to them,and especially by the Clone Wars very much have their hands tied and have been backed into a corner of no win scenarios orchestrated deliberately by Sidious. This is the tragedy of the Jedi,that they are placed in a no win situation.

Obi-Wan especially never liked the meddling of Palpatine with Anakin and you can see especially in Matthew Stover’s Revenge of the Sith novel and lots of comics that he actively does not like their friendship and does his best to stifle it all the while trying not to anger Anakin or the Chancellor. The Jedi were very protective of Anakin,but the fact is they couldn’t fully understand the situation when Anakin had kept them in the dark. You can do your absolute best to help someone but if they’re lying to you there’s no way you can fully understand what they are going through.

Lots of people cite that they didn’t help him when he was having the force visions of Padmé dying but he literally never TOLD Obi-Wan or Yoda that he was having visions/dreams of Padmé dying! How could the Council,Obi-Wan included,keep Palpatine from Anakin when by his twenties Anakin was very much hiding how close they had become and how often they interacted? The Jedi could not be responsible for things that they were not aware of by the deliberate omission of Anakin. In the scope of what they did know and by what was in their power,they absolutely protected Anakin as best as they were able and given the means of knowledge to do so.

That is to say I think a good deal of Anakin’s mistrust for the Jedi by RotS stemmed from Sidious’s direct influence and whispering in his ear. I think without Palpatine having such close access to him from being in such a position of power,that Anakin would have resisted his fall better. In all I love Anakin and am extremely sympathetic to his pains and faults,but I also think ultimately the blame is on himself and his inability to let go of his fear,it’s his very narrative. The inevitability and tragedy of Anakin Skywalker is how brightly be burned and how deeply he fell from his own avoidable and stoppable mistakes. Anakin himself has now looked Obi-Wan in the eye as Darth Vader and verbally validated what the narrative has been saying for decades,that Anakin fell because of his own choices.

“I am not your failure,Obi-Wan. You didn’t kill Anakin Skywalker,I did.”

Even Anakin asserts ownership and responsibility that his fall is his own fault. It is not because the Council could not help him or that everyone around him did not try to reach out to him,but because he succumbed to his own fear of loss and his crippling attachment/inability to let go.

[fuckmeyer]

"disturbed, depressed, inadequate": Edward Cullen & George Costanza, cringefail twinsies

as we all know, Twilight and Seinfeld are canonically set in the same universe. we see blatant clues scattered throughout both series. (e.g., Stephenie Meyer prefacing New Moon with the entirety of Jerry Seinfeld's opening stand-up from season 4's "The Outing;" Jerry making a Twilight reference in "The Soup" episode of Seinfeld, etc.) most notably, we see Edward Cullen & George Costanza's personalities mirror each other in a way that extends far beyond "pure" "coincidence." upon closer examination, they are the same person in parallel universes.

the two are, canonically, absolute losers seemingly broken beyond repair, self-saboteurs who waffle between moments of self-aggrandizement and self-loathing. their negative self-image, insecurities, & belief that they do not deserve love are recurring themes in their respective series.

among other things, George describes himself as "disturbed, depressed, inadequate," ("The Visa," S04) "completely insecure, paranoid, [and] neurotic" ("The Beard," S06). he is the self-proclaimed "Lord of the Idiots" ("The Apartment," S02) who is sure of only one thing: "There is no bigger loser than me" ("The Strike," S09).

in the Twilight Saga, Edward repeatedly calls himself "selfish" & a "monster." in Midnight Sun, he's a "coward" (37), "evil" (374) & an "obsessed stalker" (94). clearly depressed in the way he describes his "long melancholy" (138) as "an unending, unchanging midnight" (136), he quickly pinpoints the feelings behind his hatred for Bella: "What I really hated was myself" (26). his distaste for Mike Newton & jealousy of Jacob Black stem from his insecurity, while his paranoia has him assuming, among other things, that a meteor will crash down & bonk Bella out of existence (131). Edward's telepathy has him always on the alert for intruders, resulting in baseless conclusions. "Idiot," Rose calls him (97, 129, 145, 202, 314). idiot, indeed.

Edward & George's low self-esteem compel them to lie, unable to live up to the perceived expectations of others. after Edward saves Bella from a car accident, he lies to her to keep her away. "I had a show to put on now. I knew the role I would play—I had the character down: I would be the villain. I would lie and ridicule and be cruel" (MS, 90). beyond shielding her from his true nature, he is shielding her from a deeper truth: "I didn't deserve any link, any claim to her at all" (728). that is, Edward does not consider himself worthy of Bella's love. he even point-blank admits it to her at prom: "I'm not worth it." (782)

George, too, struggles to live up to assumed perceptions: “You see, this is what I do with women. I start out too strong, now I have to become real. That's when it all falls apart. What good is real?" ("The Visa," S04) like Edward, he engages in deceptive tactics throughout the series to keep his partners at arm's length, from creating falsehoods about himself to preventing his fiancée from fraternizing with his friends & entering his world. ("The Pool Guy," S07) Edward, more succinct, sends Bella the same message in New Moon: "My world is not for you." (37)

in fact, one of the few traits George & Edward possess that is not negatively regarded is their ability to lie. Edward's declaration that "I was not an incompetent liar" (MS, 77) seems an understatement when, not 10 pages later, he says, "Perhaps I was too good a liar if I could fool Carlisle" (85). he claims to feel guilty; then again, Bella often notes him lying outright or by omission in the series.

"I lie every second of my life," George brags in season 2's "The Apartment." "My whole life is a sham." other characters acknowledge & praise this ability. in the episode "The Beard" (S06), Jerry begs George to help him beat a polygraph test, calling his ability "a gift." just as Edward dramatizes his lying to "putting on a show," George likens his talent to singing opera: "It's like saying to Pavarotti, 'Teach me to sing like you.'" the advice he gives Jerry aptly sums up George's philosophy: "It's not a lie if you believe it." how fitting that this is the mindset Edward employs to stay in Bella's life a little longer.

George & Edward's relationships not only showcase their ability to lie but follow similar paths. George faces Edward's exact dilemma: the choice to deny his nature (to the point of becoming vegetarian!) for an attractive woman in "The Secretary" episode of season 6. "You're luscious," he says to a beautiful applicant for an open secretary position. "You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra." George chooses not to hire the attractive secretary... but ends up sleeping with his 'unattractive' secretary anyway. Edward, meanwhile, does the opposite: he chooses vegetarianism and to date the object of his affection, albeit with personal turmoil. where Edward chooses to be the man, George chooses to be the monster.

unsurprisingly, however, their low self-esteem is a frequent barrier to their romantic pursuits. these insecurities even lead them to preemptively decide to break up with their significant other. in George's case, the breakup in season 3's "The Pez Dispenser" is a means for him to protect himself & regain control:

“A preemptive breakup. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but at least I go out with some dignity.”

Edward seemingly breaks up with Bella to protect her. he knows he will leave her by page 368 of Midnight Sun. by page 746, he admits he's lying when he swears he won't leave her. "[T]he time would come, I was sure now, when I would have to convince her [I didn't want her]" (747). best-case scenario, he thinks, she will outgrow him (781), though it's clear she intends on forever. despite the evidence from Alice that Bella will be a catatonic mess, he leaves...several months later, after a near-fatal brush with Jasper. one might argue Edward's fear of love & intimacy leads him to break up with her as a means to protect himself from the harsh reality that she will die.

ultimately, George & Edward's failures in physical & emotional intimacy are rooted, at least in part, in an aversion to sex.

for both, the desire to feed presents a barrier to their lovemaking. Edward is unable to prolong his kisses with Bella, citing his thirst. he compares himself to "an alcoholic" & Bella to "a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac..." (Twilight, 13). similarly, in season 9's "The Blood," George finds he is always hungry around his partner & can't make love to her without eating. his attempt to introduce strawberries, chocolate sauce, & pastrami on rye into the bedroom snowballs into him sneaking sandwiches into bed. though George, unlike Edward, can satiate himself without murdering his girlfriend, his desire to feed still leads to his demise.

this aversion to sex extends beyond a conflict with their baser selves, however. we see George & Edward's insecurities & low self-esteem take a central role in their inability to engage in intimate relations.

“I don't like when a woman says, ‘Make love to me,’" says George in season 3's "The Stranded." "It's intimidating. The last time a woman said that to me, I wound up apologizing to her.”

this quote perfectly encapsulates Edward & Bella's wedding night. despite being intimidated by Bella's demand for sex, Edward acquiesces. upon discovering he bruised Bella, Edward confirms his worst fears, calls himself a monster, and says: "I'm...so sorry, Bella. [...] I am more sorry than I can tell you" (Breaking Dawn, 61). he then promises, "I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again." (66)

oddly enough, the bleak outlook Edward takes on his sex life (i.e., not possible (Twilight, 147) & unrealistic (Eclipse, 299)) mirrors George's feelings re: sexual intimacy in "The Pony Remark" (S02):

“You know, I've been thinking. I cannot envision any circumstances in which I'll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How's it gonna happen? I just don't see how it could occur.”

is this aversion to intimacy with women a product of George & Edward being queer-coded characters? even if Edward didn't worship the ground on which Carlisle "the soul of [the] family" (MS, 96) walked to the point where he hopes his face resembles Carlisle's "perfect" one (24, 387), he constantly thinks of his creator & tries to live up to Carlisle's perception of him (28, 347, 383, 387). this seems innocuous enough until we consider the fact that the vampire genre itself has queer roots. vampires have always served as a symbol for social outcasts; homosexual depictions, from the 1872 novel Carmilla to the 2020s reboot of Interview with a Vampire, are a common feature of the genre. through this lens, the virginal Edward Cullen pushing away his heterosexual partner while he envisions Carlisle's face takes on different connotations.

George, deeply in denial of his sexuality, upholds odd "rules" to avoid being seen as gay, from refusing to sit "boy-boy-girl" in a car ("The Ex-Girlfriend," S02), to reminding Jerry of his "unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality" before declaring Jerry's new jacket "fabulous." (his singing show tunes throughout "The Jacket" (S02)�� still earns him the title of gay by another character, however.) he frequently goes into a gay panic: from being called out on his attraction to Jerry ("The Cartoon," S09), to being accused of falling in love with his friend Tony ("The Stall," S05), to being explicitly labeled as Jerry's romantic partner in season 4's "The Outing," he responds to challenges to his heterosexuality with anger, anxiety, dismay, & denial. he even shouts "IT [his penis] MOVED!" in response to being touched by an attractive male masseuse ("The Masseuse," S05). regardless of whether George may be gay or bisexual, George's record of "staunch heterosexuality" seems not as "unblemished" as he would like us to believe.

given all the similarities, one might think the biggest difference is their species: Edward is a mindreading vampire and George is a human. but George does note having an advanced sense of perception akin to Edward's telepathy: "I was personable, I was bright. [...] I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party" ("The Opposite," S05). additionally, while George may not be a literal vampire, he does have a parasitic nature. cheap & selfish, he frequently mooches off his friends & leaves them footing the bill. he also lies & manipulates for his own gain, including but not limited to faking a disability to have access to his own private bathroom at work ("The Butter Shave," S09), setting up a fake charity to avoid buying Christmas presents for his coworkers ("The Strike," S09), & falsifying statements to extend his unemployment benefits ("The Boyfriend, Part 1," S03). leeching off of others & the community is a hallmark of vampirism.

ultimately, the uncanny parallels between these two characters are impossible to ignore. George & Edward seem indeed the same person mirrored into different universes. so, what does this say about their creator(s)? this "coincidence" naturally begs the question: Are Jerry Seinfeld and Stephenie Meyer the same person? in Part 2 of this essay, we expl—

[new-royston-cursebreakers]

Moon + Seraph Pitch Week:

Comp titles: Gulliver’s Travels and Hadestown

The Curse of New Royston

The small town of New Royston is cursed: wealth correlates with physical size. 20-foot-tall Gio Violett, a sophomore recovering from a near-death experience, encounters 1-foot-tall Cricket Collins, a freshman who’s been left to fend for himself as his parents try to save up enough money to bring him out of town. Fed up with the town’s unofficial segregation, the two of them agree to try to break the curse.

But the closer they get to their goal, the more they uncover the town’s gruesome history. Danger stems from the least likely places, from political conspiracies to supernatural forces, from the shady figure that seems to always be on Gio’s heels to the reason why Cricket’s parents left in the first place; soon, it becomes clear that their, and their friends’, lives and livelihoods depend on breaking the curse.

Themes

Trust

Family, both blood and found

Identity/self-perception

History, discovery, and retellings

Community

Current Stage in Writing Process

Currently on third draft, ironing out scenes and fixing grammar, spelling, and tone.

WIP-Relevant Links

Sideblog is @new-royston-cursebreakers

Content Warnings

Violence (asphyxiation, blood, gore, amputation, burn wounds, assault, child abuse, police violence)

Discrimination (classism, ableism, queerphobia, ageism)

Religion

Strong Language

Mentally-disturbing content (dissociation, unreality, paranoia, claustrophobia, anxiety, trauma, brain injury)

Bugs

[memryse]

Third Life Duos Edition Three: C(r)astle But No Monarchy?

I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET TO THIS i have been very busy with uni and i want to give them the justice they deserve. so here we are!! i’d also like to preface this by saying i have only watched cleo’s pov from this duo, not bdubs’ yet, so i can’t comment on him in quite as much detail and i also haven’t seen the crastle’s session five since cleo’s footage got messed up for it (i think bdubs is next on my list? i’ve been more preoccupied with empires lately though so i haven’t gotten around to it)

the first thing that always stands out to me about the crastle people is that they get lumped in as a red/green life duo, but they really never were that, because bdubs turned red right at the end of session five and then wasn’t in session six, which is when cleo turned yellow. they’re a very iconic duo, but i would consider them much more equals than the red/green life duos.

and they always were equals, together right from the very beginning. it wasn’t an alliance of convenience or mutual benefit or anything of the sort - just two friends, who spawned with each other and stuck with each other. while it might seem like they’re opposites - tired babysitter cleo and excitable red life bdubs, the same kind of formula that grian and scar are often slotted into - cleo and bdubs are more like two idiots who possess one (1) braincell between them, which is used exclusively for plotting various dastardly acts. 

they’re actually a hilarious duo to me because they had great ideas with the building of the crastle. fortified with a moat + magma blocks, only one point of entry, the archer slits in the walls? but then with literally... anything else their brains just go out of the windows. and i love that.

but back to talking about their relationship and development, what stuck out to me the most about them was bdubs’ attitude towards losing his lives. green life? everything’s great, they’re friends having a great time and building their tiny castle. yellow life? suddenly, the paranoia sets in. bdubs is instantly suspicious of cleo trying to get bdubs to turn red - he says he’s scared that she wants him to die so that she can “use [him] as a tool” and order him to kill people. and that is incredibly interesting to me, because red lives do not have to be bound by alliances if they don’t want to be. if bdubs were to turn red, he doesn’t have to listen to her orders. if anything it’s the exact reverse, the red life would be able to order around a green life, as we saw with both the desert duo and renchanting duo. which suggests to me that even in the midst of the paranoia of suddenly being a fresh yellow life, bdubs never even considered the possibility of betraying cleo. their alliance to one another was that strong.

this loyalty holds strong for the entire rest of the series. but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t develop! firstly, we see bdubs lose that paranoia towards cleo - in fact he grows to relish the idea of becoming cleo’s weapon. he’s happy about it! which i think stems from two places: first, he’s practically frothing at the mouth for revenge against the sand people, and he absolutely needs cleo’s direction on what to do with all of this anger he suddenly has. secondly, there’s a server-wide perception that the crastle is one of the weaker factions on the server (or at least bdubs wasn’t being taken seriously, everyone was definitely rightfully scared of cleo). the crastle needed a red life to pose a proper threat - what good are harming arrow crossbows if they have to wait for someone to attack them first? so bdubs is happy to make the sacrifice and turn red.

cleo, on the other hand, remains fairly static in terms of her regard for life (hers and others’). she’s impulsive. she starts off her series stealing a llama and hiding it just because she can, the middle of her series she’s doing arson, she ends her series attempting to take ren out in an ambush. losing her life was more of an “if it happens, it happens” deal. what changes is her attitude to other people. she’s friendly to everyone at first. then becomes more closed-off, more distrustful - presumably stemming from things like etho just showing up and attacking their castle. she doesn’t trust impulse (...does anyone?). but eventually, she develops a real fondness for tango, for scott, and she’ll put her life on the line for more than just bdubs eventually. but not quite as willingly.

like i said, the crastle people’s dynamic doesn’t change all that much throughout the series - it’s their individual actions that are fun to analyse; just look at how cleo acts during the session where bdubs isn’t there, for example, and how they bicker about it the next session. if anything, these solo actions complement their dynamic as a duo, and really highlight how it was the two of them against the world, from the very beginning. nobody else was afforded this loyalty. look how easily bdubs betrayed impulse. bdubs and cleo’s loyalty to one another was unmatched.

“bdubs is my ride or die. that’s it. if he kills me, then i will go out as an honest person.”

and i will leave you with that.

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bonus fun fact: everyone knows about the zombie siege of dogwarts the night cleo died but i want to talk about it anyway because it is like. definitely a top 5 3rd life moment. potentially even top 3

bonus fun fact 2: in bdubs’ first episode, he talks about everyone being on good terms and not being against each other yet whilst stood directly on the hill above the lake where scar took his final life. somebody on twitter pointed this out but i did go and check this specific moment myself

bonus fun fact 3 cause i gotta add one every time i guess: that lake? yeah that one where scar also asked grian to kill him? it is directly next to grian’s original base, the one he abandoned to join scar. it is also on the other side of a hill from the day one alliance base, you know, the one involving scar and bdubs. oh 3rd life. you make me so very sad.