#pathologic fictive

[hazyaltcare]

Daniil Dankovsky/the Bachelor (Pathologic 2) fictive stimboard + test tubes with liquid + blood + robot hand + computer/electronic stims + red and black colors ✨

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Mod StemRoses

M= source links back to a mature post. Proceed with caution. Thank you.

[sysmedsaresexist]

what are your thoughts on the community theory that autism may cause more fictives?

I come to you, anon, a broken man. I am in shambles. My life has been ripped apart.

I just spent a straight hour writing a response. It was a beautiful response, with sources, and pretty colors, and oh, about 2k words.

And it's all gone.

BUT!!! I, Quill, am not one to be discouraged. I'm going to redo this. FROM THE TOP!!!! (and now saving draft every 5 seconds istg-)

TL;DR: I really genuinely love the theory and think it has a lot of merit. However, I also really disagree with how some parts of the community handle this theory, and the stereotypes of autistic systems that come from it.

Alright. Mod Quill here, yes, I am an autistic system, currently a bit itchy inside because I should've been almost done this post and nearly into my latest fixation (don't starve together), and instead I'm rewriting this all and delaying my gratification. I am being so strong and brave right now.

[EDIT, before I actually get started, now that I'm done my ramble: in the following essay, I discuss introjection as a whole, rather than just fictives. I personally only have fictional introjects, but we all absolutely despise the term fictive being used on our system, so we avoided the term.]

Let's start with the fact that introjection is incredibly normal. My GOAT, Piaget, discusses at length how schema develops, and that's based a lot in introjection. Introjection, as a concept, is the idea that we, as people, unconsciously take on the beliefs, personality traits, sometimes even emotions of those around us. This can be for a lot of reasons.

Introjection (Defense Mechanism) was an interesting article I found discussing this idea, especially as it discusses introjection VS internalization, identification, and incorporation. Basically, when y'all try to find good articles online about introjection, those other words are usually fair game as well. This article is largely setting out to define various types of introjection. It describes normal introjection (bringing up Piaget, love that guy, he's my main man as a teacher) and brings up how introjects (i.e. the emotions/traits/beliefs/etc) can be distorted via fantasy. When that happens, it's considered secondary identification, and (she cites Freud here but I am not going digging more for MORE research atm), "Such secondary identification aims to reduce feelings of separation and hostility, and increase feelings of closeness, between the self and the external object, and thus it is regarded as a defense mechanism." So, in basic terms, introjection as a coping mechanism is often meant to reduce separation and increase closeness between an individual and the object of their introjection.

This can be seen very readily in CDDs. For instance, a hypothetical child is seeking more secure attachment with an abusive parental figure; they then form a dissociative part that is literally that abusive parental figure, making that person a part of them. This is a highly pathological defense mechanism.

So where does autism come in? Well... It's a disorder featuring:

A constant feeling of loneliness or ostracization for many individuals (discussed here)

A feeling of requirement for masking or mimicry of others in order to fit in (discussed here)

Diagnostic criteria that clearly show an inability to connect with others, rigid thinking patterns (akin to a fixed-mindset, just musing here), and an inability to maintain healthy relationships.

So... autistic CDD systems would then be individuals with a dissociative disorder, who (due to their autism) often report feeling more disconnected with themselves than their peers, who already rely on imitation as a conscious form of survival in an attempt to achieve closeness...

So you mean to say, Autistic CDD Systems Introject More???? HUH.

It's spelled out right there. It's fairly blatantly obvious. And genuinely, I don't think anyone was really doubting this. I don't think anyone is really out here saying that autistic people don't experience significant dissociation/introjection.

However, there's a lot of people recently shouting to the hilltops that there's no proof that autistic systems experience higher amounts of introject alters. And...

Duh? Obviously? There's already a significant lack of research into introjects in CDD systems. Why on earth would they then skip forward to research into introjects in autistic CDD systems? The medical world isn't going to skip around like that -- particularly, well... because why would they even research this to begin with?

Genuinely, I think that's my frustration with the recent discourse about this topic. There really is no reason, in my eyes, why the medical world should focus on this topic. What benefit would it have for patients? Introjects are simply another form of alter, same as any other. I suppose, potentially, it could lead to more ideas on how to help autistic CDD systems with their introjects in particular, but... is it that much different than just treating autistic CDD systems as a whole?

There's really no reason to be so up in arms about this idea. You're not going to be getting proof that this theorized correlation is actually scientifically valid; that's just not going to be happening anytime soon, unless someone has a really invested interest in autistic CDD introjects.

However...

HOWEVER!!!!!

That also does not mean I necessarily agree that every autistic system is like this. Because, for instance, I am not like this.

If you don't know, hi, I'm Quill, a mixed-origin CDD system featuring 15 parts. The origins aren't really important to this conversation, but we like to use accurate labels. We have 4 introjects, all of whom are fictional in nature. One is very close to source, one is so separated we forget she's an introject, and the other two are somewhere in the middle. And, despite what most people would assume, as I am a level 2 autistic individual as well as a system...

Only one of those introjects is from a hyperfixation of ours -- one that was brief, lasting only about 2 days, and that has never caught me up again -- and she's the one who immediately source separated.

Now, I am someone who struggles with hyperfixations. I scream internally while I autistically click the next 5 hour FNAF marathon when I'm supposed to be grading. I know so much lore. But yet, despite the sheer number -- undertale, MLP, FNAF, Petscop, most recently DST -- I haven't split introjects from any of those fixations.

And, well, that makes sense. Because introjection isn't just about attachment to an object. It's about taking something you need from that object. And it's unconscious in most cases.

(Semantically, I suppose that means that introject isn't really the best term for created parts who are fictional in nature, but I do not care about semantics all that much when it comes to people's self-identified labels in a minority group).

So, in the cases of my introjects:

At a time when we felt incapable, angry, and confused, we split a confident, strong, and (healthily) angry part.

At a time when we felt we were at risk of losing everyone and everything because we couldn't keep them happy, we split a character who found her lost loved ones and kept everyone happy.

At a time when we felt we needed distance from our conflicting emotions, we split someone who canonically has never been conflicted.

At a time when we were in desperate need of love, we split someone we knew would seek that love out without fail.

It wasn't based on our hyperfixations; it was based on our needs.

I think that large swaths of the system community online forgets that CDDs are borne of childhood trauma. Splits in CDD systems are caused by trauma-responses* -- you're stressed out, so your brain puts what you need to handle that stress (such as the memory of the event, the feelings you need to handle it, the personality traits that would be helpful) into a new part. In the case of introjection, a CDD brain is still doing that -- it just relies on a blueprint provided by the world around them. In the cause of autistic systems, I think they find it especially easy to rely on those blueprints.

I mean, autism comes with its own difficulties with personhood, dissociation, and lack of feeling like oneself. There's evidence to indicate that, rather than an autobiographical sense of self based on seamless memories, autistic individuals lean toward a patchwork sense of self. Extend that to CDD systemhood, an inherently dissociative, traumatic experience that comes with memory problems that further prevent autobiographical self memory, and you've got a compelling reason why introjecting whole characters (with themes and narratives that fit the experiences trying to be integrated) might be more common in autistic systems.

And... all of that -- all of the nuance, all of the discussion of trauma and the inherent struggles of being autistic -- somehow has been boiled down repeatedly, on both sides of the argument, to "Autistic systems split more introjects because they hyperfixate."

This idea led to me feeling completely isolated in system communities. I found myself in groups with the following (incredibly limited) views on autism and systemhood:

Introjects are not more common with autism at all, and anyone saying so is spreading misinformation.

Introjects only split due to traumatic experiences, and autistic people experience more trauma than others, so they split more introjects.

Introjects split more frequently in autistic systems due to hyperfixations, so if you're really autistic, you have more introjects.

And... none of these are right. All of them lack nuance, and all of them patently ignore the facts about trauma and how it impacts the brain in CDDs.

Based on the community experiences I've seen, there is a blatant correlation between autism and introjects. To ignore that correlation is to be blind to the community entirely. However, to say the correlation is only due to hyperfixation is to ignore many, many other possible reasons why autistic systems split more introjects -- of which my post only addressed some potential reasons -- and, in doing so, isolates many systems. It also stereotypes autism to hyperfixation, which is only one of the thousands of potential sprinkles on someones autism sundae, and leaves some individuals (such as myself) feeling even further isolated.

(And to suggest that it is because autistic people experience "more trauma" than others is to begin the 2025 Trauma Olypmics, and I refuse to entertain a torch bearer for those particular games.)

I understand where many individuals are coming from when they express frustration over the theory; I've been in that exact position myself, demanding proof of the correlation due to my own isolation from the community. And, with a disorder that already, inherently, feels so isolating already, on top of another disorder with its own share of isolating feelings...

I just desperately hope that people can be open to others experiences. I think it's entirely possible that someone attaches so firmly to a hyperfixation that they split a new part from it. I also think the theory I presented here -- that autistic individuals introject more readily due to a propensity for introjection in part borne of trauma -- is also entirely possible. I think there's thousands of possible explanations, and I think there's thousands of "right answers."

And I also think that none of this matters beyond a simple intellectual curiosity, and coming to understand myself more. I wrote all of this up due to my passion for the subject. I am autistic, and I want to be seen, and heard, and I want people to understand it more. I want people to broaden their perspectives and maybe see someone else's shoes, even if they aren't comfortable wearing them yet.

If another system is like mine, yay! If another system is unlike mine, yay! Regardless, every system is unique -- just like how every representation of autism is unique. And I think we should find beauty in the theories that present themselves, and enjoy the ideas more than the outcomes.

Fun additional reading that came up in the process of my buzzing about this for multiple hours:

Experiencing Self and Others: Contributions From Studies of Autism to The Psychoanalytic Theory of Social Development -> According to a friend (paraphrasing a tiny bit), "the abstract, in my reading, is basically saying that comparing autistic and non-autistic kids can help us understand more about how theory of mind and mental modeling of others can develop, particularly in relevancy to concepts of internalization/introjection." They did read through the whole article (while also warning me to never use scihub) and indicated for me that this really doesn't discuss autism in correlation to introjection, and even seems to suggest that autistic people can't introject (in the non-pathological sense) due to their inability to connect to others. (I genuinely think this is in direct opposition to the first study I mentioned, about how introjection is a defense mechanism, especially as autistic people experience significant amounts of trauma due to their disorder anyways.)

Making the thought thinkable: On introjection and projection -> Can only access the first page, which discusses a bit about echlalia and inner worlds. However, the title makes me curious about what this could offer in terms of the Autistic System Introjects Debate(tm). I want to go digging a bit more to see if I can get around the paywalls on this. This is a complete wild card to me.

Whose memories are they and where do they go? Problems surrounding internalization in children on the autistic spectrum -> A very interesting article that came up while my friend was reading the Experiencing Self article. Again, I cannot access anything but the abstract myself (fucking pAYWALLS) but it's promising. Here's a quote: "The author suggests that, instead of internalizing shared experiences leading to growth, children with autism can feel that they add to themselves by taking over the qualities of others through the ‘annexation’ of physical properties that leads to a damaged object and can trigger a particular sort of negative therapeutic reaction." (Emphasis mine) Friend suggests full article is a goldmine. I'll leave that for you all to go digging for, if you'd like to know more.

(*Footnote: I mean splitting in the most basic, CDD medical understanding of the disorder way possible. Obviously, as a mixed-origin system, I understand there's more than one way to split a part than simply through traumatic/stressful experiences.)

[the-bar-sinister]

Fandom History | Media Literacy | Anti Censorship Whump | Self Ship | Villains, Monsters & Criminals Polyshipping | Shipcest | Age Gap | Enemies to Lovers Fandom Old | Fictive System | Fictionkin

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Bad person alert! This account is run by bad people! If you don't like bad people don't follow this account!

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Our drawings are for our own entertainment only. We do not take commissions or trades. You are free to repost our drawings or use them in any non-commercial way (avatars, phone backgrounds, etc).

Frequent tags:

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whump prompts

blog updates

friend mail

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drabble

fanfiction

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Archive of our Own account

👉 he/they | queer | married | adult | elder millennial

👉 plural | fictionkin (serious/spiritual) 

👉 Muti shipper | Poly shipper

No DNI we block at will 🫡

Please do not send us asks about babies, pregnancy, or raising children.

Source fandoms: Resident Evil, Final Fantasy 7, One Piece, Metal Gear, Marvel Comics, Persona games, Slayers anime, GTA V, Great/Ace Attorney, Homestuck, Danganronpa, Fire Emblem Three Houses, Urusei Yatsura, Digimon, Girls Frontline, Steven Universe, Pathologic, Jem & The Holograms, Peter Pan, Welcome to Demon School, Disgaea, Sherlock Holmes media

non-source fandoms: Invader Zim, ABC’s Lost, Twin Peaks, Silent Hill, Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, Vampire Chronicles (books), Doctor Who Labyrinth, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Final Fantasy (4-6, 8,9), Pokemon, Black Lagoon, Miami Vice, Bioshock, Bioshock Infinite, Prey 2017, Dishonored, Call of Duty, Red Dead Redemption, Frankenstein, the Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Gargoyles, Fallout New Vegas

Favorite genres: horror, mystery, thriller, noir, crime fiction, psychological thriller, supernatural horror, sci fi horror, gothic lit

Shipping, plurality and squick explanations under the cut.

Our ships: We are a polyshipper and a multishipper. We ship multiple characters together in the same context, in the same relationship, in the same fics etc.

A "ship" for us does not equal in OTP or an ideal relationship. We use the word "ship" to denote any romantic or sexual relationship between two characters, even when that relationship is unhealthy, toxic, twisted, and bad for one or both participants. Ships are a narrative tool, not something aspirational. 

Plurality: We are a plural system– many people living together in one body. We have been plural since we were children, and we have been blogging about our plurality for 15+ years.

Please do  not use psychiatric or pathologizing terminology for our plurality. We do not refer to ourselves with terms like DID, alter, or introject, and our system members do not have defined roles.

Our preferred terminology is: plural, system member, and fictive.

System members tend to sign or tag posts and refer to one another with a two emoji 'signature' rather than a name. Unsigned posts are understood to be a product of multiple members or a joint consensus. 

squicks / tropes we prefer to avoid

non-con of any kind (but especially underage non-con and non-con incest) 

pregnancy & babies (especially as the joyful and expected result of a romantic hetero-presenting relationship)

nonbinary or trans characters deciding it's better for them to perform their assigned gender at birth

Characters submitting to the will of a lawful aligned god.

Parental control and discipline being shown as narratively positive and correct 

characters giving up their careers and aspirations and 'settling down' when they fall in love

prophecies that are unavoidable and/or narratively depicted as inherently good and just

characters following the life-path set out for them by their parents/following in their parents footsteps

filial duty and filial piety in general

pretty much anything to do with traditional family structures, gender roles, and lawful aligned religion, honestly

wing whump / characters having their monstrous or inhuman traits harmed

monstrous or inhuman characters becoming human (especially when presented as positive)

soul destruction / soul death

characters being metaphysically kept apart for all time

any kind of 'conversion therapy' or metaphorical conversion therapy (especially being portrayed as positive)

We are: 

non-christian | magical practitioner | chaotic neutral

polyamorous  | largely aplatonic

trauma survivor | abuse survivor

Weird | Freakish | Monstrous

[pluralhottakes]

the next person to try and completely armchair-psychiatry their thoughts about plural systems with fictionkin and/or fictives with Clear Past Life Memories as some kind of "they just introjected it to cope with bigger IRL trauma you don't want to look at" is going to get their fucking kneecaps bashed in. Maybe I had those past life traumas BEFORE I came in and got Even More Trauma. Maybe I'm dealing with Double Trauma. One of those trauma sources isn't any more or less real than the other because of what the DSM-V pathologizes it as. AND I'M SAYING THIS AS SOMEONE WHO SPENT OVER $2,000 AND EIGHT YEARS TRYING TO GET MY DIAGNOSES. BEING A PROFESSIONALLY DIAGNOSED SYSTEM DOES N O T ERASE MY EXPERIENCES OF TRAUMA IN OTHER LIVES. CALL ME "DELULU" ONE MORE FUCKING TIME. I DARE YOU, BITCH.

.

[pathologicalfacad3]

hello!! i got bored and decided to make a tumblr :) you can call me medic or ludwig! i'm a fictive in a system actually. this is not exactly an rp account but i can go along with them and do little interactions if you sent them ^_^ 🩹 bodily we are a minor so uh i like to draw (sometimes) and i like mysteries, psychological horror, science, medical things, history, etc. my askbox and strawpage is open and i would love it if you sent some in! 💊

also, if you aren't the biggest fan of medical or blood and stuff then this might not be the best blog for you. i also reblog stuff a lot. 🧪

endos, proship, homophobes, etc etc GET OUTTTTT DNI >:(

our main account is @sunny-12557! 💉

website/strawpage

[theearthishungry]

　　　　　"the earth is hungry"

★⠀┈⠀Dankovsky kin /fictive⠀⸝⠀.

⌗⠀A flag for those who are kins or fictives of Daniil Dankovsky from Pathologic

⌗⠀read DNI before using. Already coined this? See it as an alternative flag

[fromfiction]

Not wanting to put on pressure or anything, but would be very excited to see this blog more active again. It feels like the metaphysical fictionkin community is just... dead. We feel very strongly about our experiences as metaphysical fictives and feel at a loss trying to find others who feel the same way. This is sort of a vent, but we feel uncomfortable interacting with ppl who have exclusively psychological views of 'kin, b/c we know they think that we are wrong about our experiences. Even if they're outwardly respectful, it feels no different than how we do when we sit down with a psychiatrist who pathologizes our existence.

Idk, hope this make sense. We wish you well and hope that the metaphysical fictionfolk communtiy can rebuild one day

Honestly, this is really reassuring to hear-- I'm also sad that the metaphysical fictionkin community has been so dead, and I didn't really know if anybody else cared.

So, I think I will definitely be trying to be more active and post more again.

[atthecenterofeverything]

In her [R is a 48-year-old white non-normatively gendered person in prison] first letters, she wrote about her life in non-linear, fragmented pieces threaded together by the fuzziness of memory, prefaced by a disclaimer, “Note: Not everything that happened to me, or did not happen to me is covered. But in the following, what is covered is the truth” [my emphasis]. R’s qualification recognizes the contingency of the knowledge that she will relay through her letters—that the truth of her life is haunted by (and riddled with) absences, gaps, and silences that are rendered all the more glaring by positivistic demands on knowledge and the ways that white supremacy, queerphobia, capitalism, and the law collude to render prisoners pathological liars, manipulators, biologically and socially sick, unreliable, and disposable. How do we understand her narrative that rests between the happened and the did not happen? Where is the line between the fictive and the factual and the imaginary and the real? For R, truth resides somewhere in the space between the happened and the did not happen, or as Kamala Visweswaran writes, “Memory, as we know, is not to be relied upon; memory always indexes a loss,” and truth, as R highlights, resides somewhere within this loss, in the space between the happened and the did not happen. Her poetry is engulfed in loss, not only the physical and psychic loss she has experienced, but also the loss necessary in the attempt to describe that which is so often unspeakable and unnamable. R’s theorization of truth describes an epistemology that is attuned to that which is present in its conspicuous absence.

The Only Freedom I Can See: Imprisoned Queer Writing and the Politics of the Unimaginable, from the essay collection Captive Genders: Trans Embodiment and the Prison Industrial Complex, edited by Eric A. Stanley and Nat Smith

[hazyaltcare]

Neopronouns for a transfeminine Daniil Dankovsky (Pathologic) fictive who is specifically nonbinary and not a woman.

Mod Haze (🎱Vriska)

Neopronoun transcriptions are under the cut.

🪲/🪲/🪲s/🪲selves

brai/brain/brains/brainself

ette/ette/ettes/etteself

pe/pest/pestis/pestisself

plague/doctor/doctors/plaguedoctorselves

quai/quaint/quaintrelles/quaintrelleself

tha/than/thanatos/thanatoselves

vi/vis/visions/visionself

[sysmedsaresexist]

Something about that last post just really fucking irked me.

Normalize asking questions about your experiences and things you're not clear on

Yesterday, I had to ask some friends a question.

Any uterus having people that have had the electro therapy on their back-- very specific but Google isn't helping

Can the electricity on the lower back cause a period???

Wow, fucking cringe, what a faker, doesn't even know how her own uterus works, how do you make it this far in life and not know this stuff, FAKE UTERUS

I was so embarrassed to ask. I was scared, too.

And yet, I got an answer that I hadn't been able to find on my own.

Yes, it can happen.

Nice!

Well, first off, A, thank God I'm not hurt or dying, that's a relief. B, no one laughed. C, this shit isn't common knowledge.

Even if you think it's obvious, it's not.

Things can be related in the weirdest ways, and sound totally strange at first, and they turn out to be totally normal experiences.

What is dissociation?

Doctors say it's super complicated to understand, don't worry, you're not alone.

What's the difference between normal and pathological dissociation?

Oh, boy, let's sit down for this one.

What's the difference between trauma and abuse?

Fantastic question, first, are you doing okay? Second, it's complicated.

Could these two symptoms be related?

FUCKING PROBABLY, let's talk about it.

All these overgeneralized, sweeping statements, made under the guise of "correcting misinformation," and really only trying to prove people wrong instead of educate, hurt other people with that thing.

"Your doctor is ALWAYS right," fuck you, no they're not. "They know you better than you know yourself." Ohhh, fuck no, that's dangerous. "You MUST fit the criteria 😤."

The criteria:

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO HELP?

Because you're failing spectacularly at doing any kind of good for the community you want to "help".

You lost the point so hard that your posts are now actively dangerous to people with CDDs that don't think clinically enough for you. You lost the point when you use papers that directly contradict each other over basic facts, and don't even realize it in your rush to be "right".

"Trust your doctor 100%," about any other disorder, would get you instantly canceled. Are you overweight? A POC? A woman? Trans? A combination? Well, you're fucked.

You, yourself, have probably never thought that.

So why did you say it?

Who cares what they're calling themselves, who cares whether the term is clinical, are they getting the help and support they need? Can we help clarify anything for them?

Using a people focused approach in therapy is totally fine, THIS HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE. It may be a doctor-focused issue, but it's not a treatment issue. In other words, for every doctor that prefers a parts focused approach, there's one that'll use a people focused approach just fine, if that's what you want to do. Good job getting into therapy, congrats! That's what's important.

"Fictives," are so well documented that complaining about them is laughable.

Alters can take years to come forward after events, and may latch onto a character years after their actual formation. Who cares if the person can pinpoint the cause, or if they don't even care enough to try, are they getting the help and support they need???

Instead of saying, "that's impossible," let's start asking, "how can I help?"

Instead of saying, "your opinion is wrong," let's address actual misinformation. Talk to pro/endos about the trauma basis of DID. That matters a fuck ton more than whatever you're arguing about.

Instead of laughing at people who don't know things, learn to socialize and present corrections in a pleasant conversation. God forbid you're seen "being nice," to the other side.

As a very good friend said, better than I ever could, this whole "prioritizing research always over listening to others' lived experiences" is just the plural version of "academic theory on queer experiences is most important." You need both.

Many things can be true, all at the same time. Opinions are onions, they all make me cry or whatever the saying is. Single research papers should never be used generally. If you put all the papers together, anything is possible. This paper doesn't specifically talk about that thing so it's not possible.

Another paper, just a click away:

Are people happy, healthy, and feeling supported in their life?

Fantastic, that's what matters.

This blog is open to basic questions that people are scared to ask. I would also highly recommend sending @cdd-safe-haven those kinds of questions. It's completely unrelated to syscourse, hopefully the information will help more people.

[mondstadt-kincare]

An aesthetic for a Bachelor (pathologic) fictive based around feeling hopeless and desperate and the Utopian Ending

[dokutaa-kidori-desu]

ALL YOUR WORRIES, MY DEAR, ARE OVER!!!!!

she or any, fictive in a sys!! i'm all of the tetos ever but very distinctly igaku/pathological facade, so i go by kidori also ^______^

other alters r at @pluralwolfdogthings but ignore those guys okay i'm the important one look at me LOOK AT ME L

[dragonspurss]

intro :)

howdy , i’m lane , ‘n this is my relatively normal rambling/textposting blog ‘cause i need somewhere else to talk. i’m eighteen , he / him pronouns strictly , transsexual man. based in the southern u.s., est timezone but i’m unemployed ‘n active all of the time despite the time lol. world’s first trans gatorboy , irl paladin (the only guy who’s just culturally catholic) , essentially marty mcfly in back to the future iii. i have p-did and i might talk about it on here , but i’m fictive heavy anyway so when i’m alterposting it’ll probably be indistinguishable from fandomposting. oops

guitarist , wannabe banjo player , writer , artist , bjj blue belt , reptile & aquatic animal enthusiast , flyfisher , nature lover

enfj , 7w8 , aries

my interests , not all of which i’ll have time to talk about here but i’d like to list , include

media: dungeons & dragons , the legend of drizzt , dragonlance , lord of the rings , delicious in dungeon , baldur’s gate 3 , baldur’s gate 2 , final fantasy xiv , the last unicorn , castlevania , adventure time , evil dead (partial to army of darkness) , pirates of the caribbean , the princess bride , the green knight (2021) , arcane , league of legends , minecraft , the x-files , the quick & the dead , pathologic , re-animator , idk there’s probably more things i like enough to list but i’m getting lazy

music: coheed & cambria , fall out boy , a skylit drive , alesana , say anything , the forecast , cartel , aiden , thursday , taking back sunday , the get up kids , the killers , death cab for cutie , paramore , dashboard confessional , after , eagles , glenn campbell , allman brothers band , john denver , johnny cash , marty robbins , billy strings , fleetwood mac , nick drake , the decemberists , don mclean , america , toto , jefferson starship , new order , steely dan , the mountain goats , sixpence none the richer , joni mitchell , the cure , sufjan stevens , father john misty , hozier , duran duran , wham! , inxs , heart , electric light orchestra

my tag is #laneposting

[templesofdelight]

Sitting here sick sick sick of every collapse

Visions in violet velvet drapery that tie me to what I can't escape

Too scared to whittle the finality away

Too indebted to the voices calling me from the fearful supersymmetry

That I was scared to undergo when relief came too late

There is no maturation, only death

There is no nurturation, only death

Sick, sick, sick

Soul corrupted

Star jelly left after the blood rain that reaches down in

Scarlet-purple filaments into my amber eyes

Pooled iris dilated and the lens and cornea

Gives ripples as you reach into my mouth

That's just painted on my face with no real depth

Tattood dentata that clasps and closes on your fingers

Bleeding your hand bone-dry

Into the fictive, dissipating streakmarked

Realm of the graceful finish

To your not-quite-good not-quite-bad living redundancy

Pinworm, helminthic burrows in the latest

Place I'm stronger in, I'm strung up in

Clasped by moniliform manacles

Microfilm that records the urban jungle that consumes me

Microfilaria swimming through my bloodstream

Infecting everyone in blood rain

Sick, sick, sick

blood corpuscularianism

analogue switch sign off

on microfilament needle threading the radio waves

Surfing the torrential bloodline

Pouring from broken sky

Blurring into mist that infuses us

Heterocysts in nitrogen-fixing starvation

fixed cells triggering auto-atopy

Pinned in shadowboxed frames

Practicing for the last bout

Sick, sick, sick

The / Traumatic now / chronic/

ignis fatuus /

resolutiopathy

We'll never stop until the contagion perpetuates

And overtakes all feeling

the pendulum of corresponding valentinian bodies

swinging in nutation

Pathological resonance

In beautiful illness

Sick boys dying together

Coveting each other's sympto/sympathy

Sympathic autonomic response

The homolog to dying in your lovers arms

In the grip of fever that can never slow

Only quicken

Quicken

Sick,

Sick

Sick.

[tressymaviary]

we go by hart collectively

he/him/they/them/it/its/fae/faer/vi/vim

masc or neutral language

adult

@inkspillissue is our art and writing account that we also use for resources, prompts and tutorials

we have a toyhou.se

we're multifandom with hyperfixations that change frequently

our hyperfixations right now are:

The Hundred Line Defense Academy!!! Go play it now, soldier :D

more passive but still present interests:

adventure time

arcane

ai: the somnium files

baldur's gate 3

BEASTARS

disco elysium

fnaf

great god grove

hannibal (nbc)

hamilton

invincible

League of Legends

mouthwashing

mlp

pathologic

sweet tooth

warriors (by erin hunter)

our tags:

#jonathansilly - fictive tag to signal when he's made a post

[anendoandfriendo]

This did in fact just happen but also. Like. Can we be real for a minute or two here. As a very large system we very much have a, for a lack of less shitty phrases, dont-ask-dont-tell kind of policy. We don't inquire about someone's weird shit unless we REALLY want to know and would be chill if we didn't like it, and we don't shove it into peoples' faces inside of our own system.

If we must complain we do, in fact, do it on our blog here but that's because it's a shared blog. But sometimes we do ask for moodboards/stimboards/etc. because of something or someone in our system!

Like, all of those "whats the point if the character is so OOC just make an OC and write an original story" also comes off as elitist and snobbish, and exclusionary to plural systems because. We can be the thing and also be/act the opposite to canon, because being around 10 years does something to a guy. Hell, being around a month does something to a guy.

Sometimes a guy just wants to see himself in a story and acknowledge the differences. So if we see something that seems "too OOC" or whatever...we just don't read it, we skip it, because we don't know. Maybe that's another system like us. You get us?

Being fictive-heavy and full of dar'morende (<- just a link to the soulbonding carrd in case somesys has no clue what that means) folkel just means it gets like that sometimes. We do not have a choice in the matter, we wish plural spaces and especially plural fannish spaces gave more room for large systems with a proclivity for many people to talk about THEIR forms of etiquette -- you know, without using pathologizing language. YOU might be polyfrag and associate that with being traumagenic and disordered, but we are a generative endogenic/natural/innate soulbonding system, we need both voices in the game here.

Basically: we need to complain a little bit about how being a proshipper and taking a proshipper mindset becomes an actual necessity once you get to a certain point. at least in our experience, particularly when you share a head and brainbody and such with people. People are willing to accept this up until we talk about plurality and specifically large systems and it's Annoying at best/if we're being generous.

"Oh that seems like cool art! We wonder what else they --"

*character titties of someone in our system, you know, someone in our system who is struggling that they're Stuck Here Now.*

*Slowly back away from the blog*

"-- nevermind then."

"..."

"..."

*some other headmate makes mental note to come back to blog*