#patron saint of whump

[aceofwhump]

aaron ashmore shouted out whump on twitter??? tell me more

OH MY GOD YES!!!! Okay this is the best thing ever. Strap in for some good whump community history!

Huge shout-out to the amazing @the-wandering-whumper for all of this because it was them who saw and interacted with and preserved it all! If you wanna share more insights please do! And everyone else, please check out this wiki page for more screenshots! (The following pics are all taken from this wiki page and saved by Marie!)

So back when Killjoys was still airing (2017) Aaron Ashmore made this post on Twitter:

Which showed the whole community, who loved Johnny Jaqobis whump btw, that not only did he know about whump but he knew there was a whole community of whump lovers on Tumblr who delighted in Johnny Jaqobis whump!!

This led to even more loveliness as he shared Johnny whump moments with us. Things like:

And thus Aaron Ashmore became our Patron Saint!!

[themetaphorgirl]

it’s Whumptober time!!

I’ve gone ahead and picked some prompts for myself and let some IRL friends pick prompts, and now I’m opening it up for other requests!

I will write

-Patron Saint of Lost Causes AU

-Lockwood & Co

-The Umbrella Academy (specifically Five centric or childhood era/pre Five’s disappearance)

-canon Criminal Minds (tentatively, just because I find canon so difficult to write)

-Six of Crows (Kaz Brekker, my beloved)

but also if there’s something I’ve written in the past or something you’d like to see me try, suggest it! I might run with it!

I am also, just for shits and giggles, including the prompts for this year’s Sicktember. I love writing sick fics and there’s not a lot of Whumptober prompts this year that lend themselves well to that. You can request just a Sicktember prompt or combine it with a Whumptober prompt, whatever you’d like!

Available prompts below the cut!

No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE

Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you.”

No. 18: REVENGE

Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what’s mine and take it.” (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor’s New Clothes)

No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL

Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | “Is there anybody alive out there?” (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)

No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES

Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | “Oh that’s not good.”

No. 23: FORCED CHOICE

Public Display | Broken Pedestal | “I’m doing this for you.”

Alternatives List:

Communication Barrier

Friendly Fire

No-Holds-Barred Beatdown

Shivering

Time Loop

Used As Bait

Venom

Vermin

BONUS: Sicktember Prompts

Too Much of a Good Thing/Overindulgence

Dizziness/Vertigo

Overdramatic Patient/Caretaker

The Sniffles ™

Medieval Treatment

Mononucleosis

"Who decided __ is ‘sick people food?’"

Toxin/Poison

Brain Fog/Spaced Out

Hypochondriac Tendencies

Medication Bribery

Under a Spell

Heart Condition/Cardiac Arrest

Pulling a ‘Ferris Bueller’

Sick on a Road Trip

Hospital Bed

“I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

First Aid Kit

Doctor's Note

[shinysoroka]

I know Saint Sebastian is the patron saint of archers and athletes but I feel like he deserves to at least be the honorary patron saint of whump.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

My Top 10 Fics Of 2023

So, because it is the 'wrapped' time of year where everyone looks back on their year through playlists and other types of stats - I thought that I would look back on my year through something completely nonobjective and based on exactly 0 data - my favourite fics I have written this year that are based completely on my personal enjoyment of them.

Last year, I did something similar to this where I counted down the top ten fics based completely on data - how many notes each fic had gotten on tumblr. But most of the posts were shorter fics that I hadn't spent a lot of time working on that I wasn't very proud of. (Like the fact that my current most popular fanfic on my sideblog for fanfiction is the shortest in word count.) So I have decided to go over the fics that are the most popular in my heart - countdown style.

This year I have written 39 different fics and I have written over 395,000 words, and these are my favourite fics that I have written.

Honorable Mentions:

Black Suit - Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader (2,900 words). One of the most well-rounded fics I have written in such a short word count. And just - look at her.

My Bleeding Heart - Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (3,400 words). I have never used Death Eaters as the basis for angst in a fic and I had so much fun with it. Plus the kidfic fluff at the end was really fun too.

IFHY (I Fucking Hate You) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader (8,100 words). So @holy-minseok made a post about how there isn't enough fics with reader characters that aren't nice and sweet and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. Because I have so many fics with rude, toxic readers and this is absolutely one of them. This reader is a Grade A Bitch and that's a huge reason why I had so much fun writing it.

Better Than Sleeping - Jason Todd x Fem!Reader (5,300 words). This is some of the best quality smut I have written this year, hands down.

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (8,200 words). I love writing fics based on specific episodes of a show, and this definitely helped to fulfil my whump quota for the year.

Sweet Revenge - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader (16,200 words). This is a fic that definitely converted me from a hardcore Abby girl into an Ellie girl. I am very proud of it. (And eventually I became an EllAbs girl, as god intended.)

Free Use Day - Poly!OG!Titans x Fem!Reader (14,300 words). This is probably my most epic and honorable of the honorable mentions. This is the first time in years that I have written such a long pwp, and it's written about some of my ult favs. So I fucking love it. (It came so, so close to making the top ten.)

(Now, onto the top ten.)

The Top Ten:

10. Dreaming Of You - Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Reader (31,300 words)

You and Gar have been best friends for a long time. Nothing could disrupt the harmony of such a perfect friendship. Nothing except maybe… your usually predictable powers going haywire and somehow showing you all of his heated daydreams about you. But he couldn’t possibly have romantic feelings for you. He couldn’t possibly want anything more than your close platonic friendship and the occasional steamy fantasy. Right? Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader. Best Friends to Lovers. Smut and (Slight) Angst. Set during Season 2.

At first I wasn't even sure if I should put this one on the list, because it's technically a re-post, but I was like fuck it, I make the rules here. And the reason it's at 10 is because technically I wrote most of this in 2021 originally (though it feels like longer ago than that omg), but this year I heavily updated the fic, including writing some new scenes for it that flesh it out very nicely. To me, this is everything a good re-post should be. It cleans up what was already there and amazing about the fic and it enhances it so much.

I loved the concept of this fic from its core, and now I get to be so, so proud of the way I have enhanced it years later. To me, this will always be my core Gar fic (as much as I will always write more for him) - and it is something I am truly, genuinely proud of. If you love Gar and you love smutty fantasies involving him, I highly recommend checking this fic out.

9. No Brainer - Derek Cho x Fem!Reader x Melanie Cross (Mayhem (2017)) (7,100 words)

When the ID-7 Virus, aka the Red Eye Virus hits Towers and Smythe Consulting, it throws the entire office building into chaos. With a mandatory quarantine from the CDC in action, that chaos builds in on itself, and somehow, you, Derek, and Melanie get everything that you want. aka You have something Derek and Melanie need. Derek and Melanie have something you want. You all agree to make an exchange, and everyone ends up more than happy. Derek Cho (Steven Yeun) x Fem!Reader x Melanie Cross (Samara Weaving). Co-Works to Lovers. Smut. Based on the film Mayhem from 2017.

This is one of my personal favourite fics of mine that I believe very few people following me have ever read. I absolutely love writing fics based on random one-off horror movies - I have way more in my drafts, and one of my goals for 2024 is to complete and post more of them. But one night I was laying in bed and I randomly watched this film because I knew Steven Yeun was in it. I had seen a lot of clips of him covered in blood and yelling, and I found him really hot in those clips, so I knew that I would enjoy the film. And I absolutely fucking did. Not just based on his hotness, but just - the entire film was so, so enjoyable.

Also, the ID-7 Virus, a fictional sickness that lowers your inhibitions (something that is shown in the film to work like sex pollen) is the perfect basis for a fic. So I literally started writing this on my phone before I had even finished watching the film. And I posted it a few days later. I think it's just pure fun. One of my favourite things to write about is a healthy combination of horror and sex, and this is definitely toeing the line perfectly in my opinion. If you haven't seen the film, I highly recommend it - watch it, and then come back and read this fic.

8. My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader (9,600 words)

Ellie confronts your abuser, and after years of torment, you finally feel free. Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader. Strangers to Lovers. Hurt and Comfort.

This is a fic that is very close to my heart. Not only is named after a tragically underrated Fall Out Boy B-Side, one of my favourite songs ever, but it is a fic about conquering the abuse of a family member - and when I wrote this, it was coming from a place of the utmost sincerity.

I am someone who has experienced abuse from a family member, and it felt so entirely empowering to write this - to write about someone coming to your rescue so honestly. Someone rescuing you out of pure want, not because it's an obligation or a burden. But because they are compelled by their own morals and they feel that your abuse is a cruel injustice against the world. This and the companion fic I wrote for Abby with a similar storyline are two of the most important fics that I have written this year.

7. Ghosting - Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader (3,700 words)

Mike has been in love with you for as long as he can remember. For about as long as the two of you have been best friends. He always thought he would have more time to work up to confessing those big, dangerous feelings for you - until something more dangerous swooped in and stole any time he had left with you. Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader. Star-Crossed Lovers. Pure Angst. Set during the events of the movie (and features spoilers for the plot).

I feel like this list would be incomplete if I didn't pick at least one of the FNAF fics that I wrote (and two of them ended up on here). With how much it was delayed, it was actually wild to see the FNAF Movie actually come to life before our very eyes, and it was amazing to actually write some fics about it. This is the first time (in a very long time) that I have written pure angst with no sense of fluff at the ending, and it was actually so much fun - it's fun to give into the darker side of a fic, and to write about the most torturous human emotions with absolutely no relief.

Also, I think dying in someone's arms (especially holding your lover or your would-be lover) is such a compelling trope and I loved writing about it. This was so much fun for me to write, and it was something so interesting to explore aside from the usual smut that I write.

6. From Your Lips - Jennifer Jareau x GN!Reader (3,000 words)

After JJ is attacked by dogs on the Hankle farm, everyone is busy worrying about Reid’s missing status, but you take the time to check on JJ and try your best to calm her flustered mind. Jennifer Jareau x Gender Neutral Reader. Friends with Benefits. Smut and Angst. Set during Season 2, Episode 15.

This year, I had another large foray into the Criminal Minds fandom, and I wrote a JJ fic for the first time. And just in general, I am so proud of this fic. I think even for a short fic, it has such a great essence - again, I love setting fics during specific episodes, and I found it so fun to play around with the religious imagery and the religious themes already in this episode, as well as the imagery of rabid dogs.

To me, this is what truly makes fanfiction great - taking details of the canon, chewing them up like bubblegum and then adding something else in to make them your own. I had so much fun writing this fic, 10/10.

5. Love From The Other Side (aka The Golf Club Fic) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader (5,600 words)

Abby kills the man that has been haunting your nightmares for years. You find it only fitting to give her a proper reward. Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut. Set during The Last of Us Part II. (aka - the fic where Abby fucks the reader's pussy with the golf club that she used to kill Joel.)

So, as you will notice with this fic and the next one, 2023 was the year I truly said fuck it. There used to be a time when I was afraid to admit my weirder kinks and fantasies (like, I used to be afraid to even say that I read A/B/O), but then I realized that this is the freak-nasty website. And way too many people are shy. So I must be the one to provide the freak-nasty fics.

This is a fic I had in mind since the very first time I watched TLOU2 gameplay. And originally, it was going to be a simple, purely pornopraphic fic about Abby fucking the reader with the golf club - but as I was writing it, it turned into something that I find oddly beautiful. And (again, just like with the next fic) I find that writing about kinks in long-term relationships, especially the kind of relationships that have come to be co-dependent - it's like writing this toxic, cathartic poetry.

It's writing about two people who need each other but can be so horrible for each other - and it is one of my favourite things to write about because it's so damn interesting. This was a slay, and generally awesome because it was getting out an idea that's been in my head for years.

4. Damn The Man, Save The Empire - Vanessa Shelly x GN!Reader (6,100 words)

Vanessa has always taken care of you. Since the two of you were kids, she has put her neck on the line for you, and you rarely knew how to return that epic kindness. One night, while both of you are raw and on-edge, the dark cloud of your strange past looming over both of you nearly swallows both of you whole - and once again, Vanessa is right there, taking care of you. (Dark)Dom!Vanessa Shelly x Sub!Gender Neutral Reader. Toxic Co-Dependent Relationship. Smut and Angst. Takes place before the main timeline of the film (features spoilers for the movie).

Again, like I said with the previous fic - this was one of my favourite fics to write because it is so delightfully unhinged. I really enjoy exploring toxic relationships through fiction because - for one, writing healthy, functioning relationships is not always interesting. And there is something so beautifully dark and poetic about writing two people who have grown into each other like twisted tree branches and need each other, but are so bad for each other.

And this year I have been exploring gender neutral smut a lot more. I used to always write fem reader smut as my default, but I have been having a lot of fun with the creativity of writing smut without describing the reader's body in detail. I love coming up with metaphors and describing around the body parts. I find it to be a fun creative challenge. Anyway - this was a lot of fun to write, and I highly recommend it if you enjoy reading darker fics.

3. Lessons For A Genius (Lesson One) - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (17,200 words)

What could a certified genius possibly have to learn from someone like you? Turns out - a hell of a lot.  And the real ‘teaching’ started when your graphic explanations of slang toward Spencer for the sheer shock value of it turned into something a lot more… hands on.  Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU)Dom!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during early Season 2.

I feel like it would be a miss to make this list without mentioning a fic that I obsessed over for two weeks straight - a fic that drove me insane in the best way. Of course, there is also the sequel, but I personally prefer the first lesson. This fic has been brewing in my mind for a very long time, because it is painfully obvious to me that Spencer (in the early seasons) is an awkward virgin, and I have always wanted to ruin him.

This fic is a lot of my fantasies brought to life, and I feel like it's a really masterful painting of those fantasies - for once, without overly focusing on the murder mystery aspect of Criminal Minds fanfiction (which I have a tendency to get distracted by). I am really, really proud of this fic, and I know you guys enjoyed it. It is definitely a highlight of my writing this year.

2. Emergency Contact - Jason Todd x GN!Reader (10,500 words)

After Jason miraculously comes home from his brush with Deathstroke, you’re both feeling it in very different ways. You have an unexpected physical wound from the battle, and he has many (very expected) emotional wounds. You help each other heal. Even if it’s very stubborn on both your parts. Jason Todd x GN!Powered!Reader. Enemies/FWB to Lovers. Angst and Hurt/Comfort. (Slight Smut). Set during Season 2, Episode 5.

This is a fic I have talked about a lot recently, because I have been working on the sequel. (I was hoping to get the sequel finished and posted before the end of December, but it's gonna be a longer fic, so it's looking like it's gonna be one of the first fics of January instead.) Anyway - to me, this is by far one of my best fics and one of my most important fics of 2023. This was battling for the top spot.

But even if it's second place, I am so incredibly proud of this fic. I think it's beautifully written, I am incredibly proud of the literary references I worked in with The Great Gatsby - especially because I feel like Jason would be the type to read Gatsby and compare himself to someone tragic and doomed like Gatsby (he would soo compare himself to Gatsby, especially because he was also a poor kid who was randomly sponsored by a rich man who saw potential in him). Overall, I just had a very distinct vision when writing the fic, and that vision came to life. And I really, really hope that my vision comes to life in the sequel too.

1. King For A Day - Poly!Golden Trio x Fem!Reader (22,400 words) 

You have always had a special relationship with Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and the one and only Harry Potter. When you set out to help them find and destroy Lord Voldemort’s Horcruxes, it seems that your intimate knowledge of them is the one thing keeping them together - until the unique dynamic shifts, thanks to one of those pesky pieces of dark magic. Angry voices carry, and it turns out - moans of pleasure do too. Poly!Golden Trio x Fem!Reader (Fem!Reader x Harry Potter x Ron Weasley x Hermione Granger). FWB to Poly Lovers. Smut (with a slight bit of Angst). Set during Deathly Hallows.

And finally, we get to my favourite fic of the year!!

So, I'm gonna be honest, a huge reason that this fic gets the top slot is because of my nostalgia for Harry Potter. This year was the first time in a long time that I have written Harry Potter fanfiction, and it felt like a reawakening of my soul. I was genuinely happy, and I was spending time enjoying concepts and characters that I have not thought about for a long time.

This fic in particular, I feel like I have been working on it for years in my mind. This fic is a culmination of all my thoughts about these characters, all my time in the Harry Potter fandom, and generally, I am so, so proud of it. I am proud that my love for Harry Potter has come to fruition in this form - a poly smut fic, something that is just so me.

Overall - I had such a great year chasing fic ideas that make me happy, despite the popularity of the characters or the fandoms, and I encourage you guys to spend 2024 doing the same. Cheers!

[whumpshaped]

Stray 1

hi im here to bring u a fun lil interactive thing bc i felt inspired. will this have a second chapter before november? uhhhhh idk man...... anyway have fun

masterlist

tw institutional/systemic pet whump, second person pov (and you're the pet!), forced to eat gross stuff, memory loss, past trauma, dehumanisation

You stumble out of the facility with the vague understanding that you want to leave. You can't quite remember why, you can't quite remember what you had before the facility, and you can't quite remember what's so bad about the place... but something in you is screaming at you to run.

So you run.

Even as the evening air clears your head, the memories don't come back to you. You have no concept of life before being a pet, outside of a few flashes of faces you think you might've known at one point and places you might've frequented. It's not a lot, not even enough to convince you they aren't dreams that lodged in your head for a little too long.

Maybe this is a mistake, honestly. You're basing your entire escape on these flashes, and a weird gut feeling. Now you're on the run from the Pet Protection Agency, and you have zero idea how to survive as a stray. It'd be so much easier to turn back around and give yourself up... but god, this nagging feeling in the back of your mind just won't leave you alone. You have to keep running.

Days pass, and you learn what kinds of food in the dumpster are still fit for consumption. Weeks pass, and you learn how to seem semi-normal. How to blend in and pretend you're a person. Months pass, and you're starting to run out of stamina. Of drive. Of motivation. It's getting colder, too. You're thinking of turning yourself in again.

You don't even make an effort anymore. You stay in the same alleyway, go through the same dumpster... Sometimes you venture a bit further out, but at this point, you're entirely over it. If the PPA's people find you, so be it. Being a stray is miserable.

But one day, a small offering appears on the ground. It's a little plastic bowl with some kind of paste in it. It smells... suspicious. It's definitely not for you– no, that's not true. It's definitely for you, but it's clear that the person who left it doesn't... know who you are. What you are.

You crawl a bit closer, your stomach rumbling loudly. Maybe just a scoop. A bite. Maybe it's not that bad. Maybe eating cat food is fine, under certain circumstances. Maybe you can trick yourself into liking it, even.

Well... as soon as you try it, you realise that won't be happening. But food is food, and you're desperate. You can only hope it won't poison you.

The empty bowls disappear every morning, and a full one appears every evening. The routine soothes you somewhat. Of course it does, you're just a pet, and pets need routine — another reason why it was utterly stupid to run and throw yourself into a life of uncertainty. But in an odd turn of events, you accidentally found someone who seems to care, and that's comforting.

One evening, while you're furiously rubbing your hands together to create some semblance of warmth, you hear the stranger enter the alley. You hear the telltale scratch of the bowl against the ground as they set it down, and your mouth waters despite knowing how gross the food is. But you don't hear them leaving.

"Here, love. I've brought you some food," they — he? — say softly, and you realise your mysterious patron saint is planning on staying this time. He wants to see where his food is going, clearly. An infinite number of options and fears run through your head all at once.

What if he's with the PPA? What if this has all been a setup? What if he's going to be angry about you not being a sweet little animal? What if he's a horrible person who's just playing you? What if– what if–

~

i'm gonna start a separate taglist for this so lmk if u wanna be on it :) also no promises whatsoever abt the updates i just felt rly in the mood for smth like this tonight

@whumpsday @the-scrapegoat

[dilf-din]

Neptune (Until My Last Breath)

A Rebelcaptain May the Fourth celebration fic

WC: 3050

Warnings: angst and whump, ambiguous ending

Author’s Note: HELLO AND MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH US. I started working on this last week and thought it would be fun to post today in honor of my favorite characters of all time. Sorry I’ve been straying away from my fluff reputation?? Oops?

Jyn always thought she would die in space, or at least with the stars in view. A clear night sky above her as she bled out, as her particles melded with the earth and the atmosphere, stardust returning to stardust. She would exhale, and her spirit would be carried away on the wind, stirring through the galaxy, inciting rebellion and bravery in the hearts of other little girls out there hoping for their someday to come. Jyn Erso, the patron saint of defying fate.

Or maybe just defiance.

She always thought she would be free one day. Right now, she felt like a porg caught in a trap. The thought of chewing off her leg crossed her mind almost immediately once reality set in. She could press the cool steel of her blaster to her head and be gone in an instant, but she couldn’t abandon Cassian. She wouldn’t.

There were so many warning signs she ignored that she couldn’t help but blame herself for their current situation. The instrument panel in her mind had been screaming at her for days now, lights flashing and pounding against the back of her eyelids. Had she listened to the churning in her gut before climbing into that death trap, had she spoken up about her inkling that they had received corrupted intel before the hatch was sealed, had she just asked Cassian to turn back before they went plunging into murky water and winding caverns. He would’ve listened, taken her at her word. He always did.

Now they were stuck. Wedged quite literally between a rock and a hard place hundreds of meters below depth. They had lost communication with K2 who was stationed above them on the surface well over an hour ago, their comms nothing but low, smooth static.

K2’s warning that communication was about to drop out hadn’t done much to settle the turmoil in the pit of Jyn’s belly.

“It’s normal,” Cassian explained, taking note of the whites of her knuckles peeking out of the cut outs of her gloves where she was death gripping the leather arm of her seat. “Once we make it under this ridge and back up, we’ll be back in communication,” he assured.

Jyn wanted to trust him. She closed her eyes and swallowed. There wasn’t much to see but the inky black walls of the caverns Cassian was carefully navigating. Thats what she told herself, anyway. There were no tentacled creatures looming above them. There were no sets of glowing eyes waiting for someone stupid enough to venture past and sink their hungry teeth into soft flesh. The more she repeated this, the more she believed it, never one to be afraid of monsters.

She inhaled and exhaled in time with a pressurizer in the cabin as it adjusted their oxygen levels, keeping their lungs full and their bodies whole.

A few more hours would pass in no time.

It wasn’t often she had a perfectly quiet environment to rest in, and found herself nodding off, chin tucked into the collar of her jacket and cheek resting against her shoulder.

The first shrill sound of metal screaming and scraping would be etched in her mind for the rest of the life, however much longer that was. It cut through the heavy silence of the air, and she was flung her from her seat as the craft lurched forward.

Jyn caught herself with flat palms, stinging from the impact.

“What was that?” she asked with as steady of a voice as she could muster.

Cassian cursed.

“It’s too narrow through here. I don’t want to risk it. We’re gonna have to go back.”

The coolness of his tone and sureness of his movements soothed her nerves. She watched as his hands moved swiftly to turn their craft into reverse and begin their journey back to the surface. The disgraced imperial officer that may or may not be holed up in a cave at the end of this wasn’t worth their lives.

The engine pulsed through the entire ship as the thrusters reversed to propel them backwards, but within a few seconds, they were met with the same sickening sound of stone against the metal.

Cassian pulled back on the controls immediately, leaving them stationary before the jutting rock formation ripped the hull in half.

They both stared ahead, Cassian to avoid Jyn’s gaze, and Jyn to try to ground herself in this moment.

A new flood of fears washed over her. Her body felt as if it was getting crushed beneath the weight of the pressure around them, held at bay by nothing but a thin wall. Her breath started coming quick and shallow, the way it did when she sat at the bottom of the hatch on Lah’mu, eyes straining to get accustomed to the darkness, not knowing it would follow her for the rest of her life.

Cassian scrambled for a solution, racking his brain for a way out. Jyn’s panicked breathing permeated his concentration, preventing any coherent thoughts from forming. She had never been scared before, not really. She was only here because of him, because of intel he sought out and felt strongly enough was worth following, but not into death.

His kill count was something he didn’t even want to theorize about at night. He made peace with most of them, he could live with the blood of hundreds on his hands, but not Jyn’s blood. It was never supposed to be hers.

Obviously they couldn’t leave the ship, not at this depth. And the comms were down, so there was no way to send a distress signal. The reverse thrusters were just sending them straight into the obstruction… They were stuck. They were stuck, and they were going to run out of oxygen unless K2 came after them in the rescue craft, which was almost twice the size of this one and might not even be able to make it through the narrow tunnels.

There were too many variables outside of his control causing Cassian to spiral. Most little hiccups on a mission he could get through, but something of this caliber with this level of consequence always made him second guess himself, his status as captain, and whether or not he was fit to be a partner to someone like Jyn. Fierce in combat, cool under pressure, a survivor like no other.

He had been so careful. He had always trusted his instincts and his training equally, and couldn’t quite parse where he went wrong this time. Cassian buried his head in his hands, wishing someone would come from behind him and beat some sense into his thick skull, grab him by the shoulders and center his composure once again. He was no good to either of them in this state.

Jyn choked out a dry sob bringing him back to himself. He craved atonement for his foolishness, vowing to bleed himself dry for the woman he loved if that’s what it took to get her out of this alive.

With a click, he released his seatbelt and slid across the cold floor next to her.

“Jyn,” he breathed softly, “Talk to me,” he coaxed as he unwound her limbs from around her crumpled frame and drew her into his own embrace.

She had been able to feign composure until the reality of being trapped really set in. Combat didn’t phase her, the crunching of bones and flesh being burned by blaster fire had been the background noise to her life from far too early on. At the end of the day, the only thing that ever hung over her head was the thought of being truly alone in the galaxy. The looming darkness that made her tremble as a child was the same darkness curling itself around her right now, peering in through the window and licking its chops each time it thought it had her. All the times she had almost let her strength fail her, the beautiful temptation of running into her mother’s arms again was like a siren song over the noise of every battle she found herself in. She could stop resisting, let fate take her. But that wasn’t her. And as badly as she wanted to be home again, she wanted to be true to who they raised her to be, who Saw raised her to be.

But this didn’t feel right either, like getting backed into a corner. Her long overdue portion of bad luck finally catching up to her after all her narrow escapes. A few times, she had come close enough to brush fingertips with her father before getting pulled back to this life, always being dragged away too soon like a calf that wasn’t properly weaned. Her hungry mouth open to the cruelty of the universe.

Cassian’s warmth was the only thing she could depend on when you stripped her bare. Each time she coughed up blood and bile from the beatings she sustained, he was never far. Always faithful to wrap himself around her and lick her wounds. It was the closest she would ever come to really being known. Being pressed to him now made a fresh lump rise in her throat, the same feeling as standing in your childhood bedroom for the last time. She vowed to memorize every detail in this dim light, for his form to be etched into her fingerprints whenever they found their bodies.

“You don’t have to bullshit me. I know we’re not getting out of here,” she said quietly.

Cassian tensed under her admission.

“Kay could get here in time,” he squirmed to readjust and move her cheek off of his collarbone.

She decided not to extinguish his hope, one of her favorite things about him.

She knew he was lying.

He knew she knew.

“It’s just weird to not be able to see the stars,” she admitted softly, letting out a shaky exhale.

Cass nodded and pressed his nose into her temple.

“How much oxygen do we have in here?”

He had done the calculations a hundred times over, swallowed hard.

“About ten more hours, plus whatever is in the suits.”

Jyn nodded imperceptibly and couldn’t tell if it was her imagination or if there was a really faint clock ticking in the background. Maybe it was his heartbeat beneath her ear. Maybe somewhere deep inside she had always known they were a ticking time bomb.

“We might as well get comfy,” Cassian strained as he reached for the emergency blankets stowed to the left of the captain’s chair. The pair worked together to make a makeshift bed roll and stretched out together, reveling in the shared warmth. Underwater and space had one thing in common: they were both cold.

Jyn laid with her head on Cassian’s chest, close enough that the sounds of his breath and the low rumble of his voice beneath her dominated her senses. The sounds of the sub became distant background noise as she gave all of her attention to him.

Cassian’s right arm was wrapped around her, draped firmly over her hip while his left hand toyed with her fingers. He had gently pulled her gloves off and laid them to the side, wanting to feel her smooth skin unobstructed. Their hands laced together then broke apart. His pointer finger dragged across every millimeter, feeling every vein and bone, every wrinkle of her. Sometimes, he let the very tips of his nails ghost over the surface, sending chills through her body. Jyn nuzzled closer into the scent of him, bright and sharp as it ever was. Clean notes of citrus that overpowered the stale metal they often found themselves surrounded by. It was the easiest way to pick him out of a crowd. She smiled sadly to herself as she toyed with the zipper of his jacket, thinking how beautiful it was to know someone so effortlessly.

“Tell me about a time you were happy,” Cassian’s voice came warmly, a welcome interruption to the mechanical symphony of the ship she had been trying to tune out.

Without hesitation, Jyn responded, “When I was younger, my father and I used to hike and watch the volcanoes erupt on Lah’mu. He had some sort of device that tracked the seismic activity, so we would always take the day, just us two. My mother would pack us sandwiches and stay back to watch the farm,” she trailed off and a faraway smile graced her lips.

She continued with an even more dreamlike quality to her voice, “I’ll never forget the first time I saw one. It’s so much more red than you can ever imagine. Just the purest shade of red. It would trickle down black mountains and turn everything in a neon mosaic.”

Cassian’s heart swelled as he listened to her recount the memories she had of her father. The way she came alive when she spoke of the kind of man he was. He always wondered if Galen would have approved of him. Some small part of him would always ache for that affirmation, to know that those who loved Jyn so deeply saw something worthy in him.

Another wave of guilt washed over him, and his limbs were suddenly twenty kilos heavier. A good man wouldn’t have gotten their daughter killed. An honorable partner wouldn’t have ever put her in a situation that would’ve risked her life. That’s all Cassian had done since they had met, is risk his life and hers.

Jyn felt him tense beneath her, the way his heart rate quickened, and propped herself up to face him.

“Is something wrong? I mean aside from the obvious?”

She always tried to find humor in their peril, admiring the way her father could make her laugh when she was afraid. When their family would squeeze into one of their scattered bunkers in a practice drill should the imperials ever find them, Galen never failed to make her giggle with a poke to the ribs or a bad pun. Jyn would wrinkle her nose at him. Lyra would give a soft smile.

Right now she wanted Cassian to be anything but afraid.

“I’m sorry,” his voice wavered.

“Cassian,” she chastised.

“Jyn, please,” his eyes bore into hers, in pain and with pleading he begged her to hear him out.

“We don’t have to do this now,” she whispered.

“If not now then when?” he exclaimed.

Jyn kept forward and pressed her lips to kiss cradling his face. She swung one leg over his own to straddle him. He kissed her hungrily and with tears streaming down his cheeks.

She pressed her forehead to his and nuzzled her nose against his.

“I always knew I would die by your side, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he smiled through the tears she had only seen him cry one other time, Scarif. Those tears were exhausted and bitter and full of hatred for the Empire, completely robbed of any sense of pride as they were lifted away from the scorched ground and the corpses of their friends.

These tears were full of love, the overwhelm of what he felt for her spilling to the surface.

“You’re so beautiful, even in this light,” his hand cradled her cheek.

“You’re running out of oxygen,” she murmured, casting her eyes to the floor, uncomfortable with the attention even after all the years spent beside him.

Cassian laughed softly, the kind that said “I love you” in the cadence of it, and Jyn thought there were certainly worse ways to meet your end than this.

——

The hours passed far too quickly and excruciatingly slowly at the same time. Each minute brought them closer to a final goodbye.

The air in the cabin was quite thin by this point, leaving the pair panting and feeling lightheaded as they tried to count to ten before drawing each breath.

Cassian had never been the praying kind, but tonight, he prayed that Kay was careening towards them at much too high a speed. He prayed that they would get dragged to the surface before they were nothing but casualties in a war that never seemed to end. He prayed that Jyn would go first and go quickly.

With great struggle, he lifted the only oxygen tank off the wall and dragged it to the bed they had made. His fingers were clumsy as he fiddled with the valve and made sure it was connected to the mouthpiece with no holes in the hose.

Cassian was winded from such a small task. Jyn offered him the mouthpiece to draw the first full breath into his screaming lungs and light head. He closed his eyes at the fleeting relief, his finger tapping on her thigh to count out ten seconds. Their words had been mostly spent at this point, choosing to conserve as much oxygen as they could in the hopes that K2 would be there soon.

On ten, Jyn took her first full breath in hours, she could feel her cells swimming with joy, rushing around to bring the tired parts of her back to life. She had no idea how long this tank would last between the two of them. She was tired from racing the clock, having spent the last part of the evening becoming acquainted with the idea that they wouldn’t make it out of this.

“Jyn?” she swore she heard her mother calling, craned her neck to see Cassian looking down at her. The whites of his eyes shone like the shard of kyber at her breast, guiding her home.

“I love you, Captain,” she slurred, taking the chance to poke at her affectionate nickname for him one final time. She wanted it to be one of the last things he heard as they passed from this life to the next.

Cassian weakly squeezed her in reciprocation.

The tank quickly drained. It was never intended to fill two sets of lungs.

When Cassian offered her the mouthpiece as it was nearing empty, she shook her head, and it pounded with every motion.

“It’s s’pretty, Cass.”

“Wha-what’s pretty?” he strained to stammer out.

“I see so many stars,” she smiled with tears glimmering in her eyes.

[whump-card]

Our patron saint. x

Art taglist: @angst-after-dark, @whumpsday, @flowersarefreetherapy, @rainydaywhump, @softvampirewhump, @whump-me, @honeybees-125, @evilwriter37, @merciless-whump

[thecruellestmonth]

Cass & Jason fic recs

Some of the best fan-created works featuring heated squabbles and/or unlikely family bonding between Cassandra Cain and Jason Todd.

"the patron saint of the lost causes" by evanescent - Grabbing Jason’s wrist just right and putting a necessary amount of pressure on it, Cassandra says, “You’re good. I’m better.” And that’s how she ends up pinning her brother down behind a dumpster. So much for making a good first impression. // Pre-Flashpoint AU based on canon what-if Lady Shiva was not only Cassandra's biological mother, but Jason's, too. ["One Year Later" fix-it for Cass and Jason.]

"the sound, the silence" by evanescent - Cass and her brothers. Character study, relationship study.

"Movie Magic" by Telperien - Jason is an utter bitch, and Cass hates his guts. That's it, there's no fluff, their relationship doesn't improve. But they do team up, because they're family.

"Sister's Blues" by ShariDeschain - Cass decides she is Jason's self-appointed protector and big sister, and she isn't taking no for an answer.

"From the Best" by zarabithia - AKA The Post-Crisis Fix-It. It was Cass who found him.

"got her guns out" by marquis - Cass spars with all her siblings. It's nice! Mostly. Except for the rampant cheating.

"Neighbours" by Aingeal98 - Bruce and Shiva are rival PTA parents, Cass seeks to become the world's greatest crime-fighting hero while rising to the challenges of junior high school, and Jason is her adorable little civilian friend. Unexpectedly, some of the best Shiva writing I've had the pleasure to randomly encounter. Work in progress.

"The Priority" by CastleGachi - Cass is self-sacrificing to a fault; also she wants a milkshake. Some Cass whump.

Red Blood, Blue Blood by Telperien - Jason and his mother discover his biological father is Bruce Wayne, who has three other biological children. Cass (age 10) was raised from birth by Bruce, but she still keeps her unhinged determination to put 100% effort into all that she does—from solving the mystery of Bruce's secret nightlife, to seizing the title of Jason's favorite sibling. Work in progress, contains some Tim-bashing on the side.

"Someone That Hates To See Me Go" by AutumnHobbit - Jason bonds with his family. Cass crashes at Jay's place after her foot is dislocated in the field, and she eats his food.

🦇 "Within These Toxic Waters" by Gray_Skies_Rising - Cassandra and Jason are both too alike and too different in all the places where it matters. Enemies to frenemies/siblings, dark!Batfamily AU, Cass and Jason both deal with Lazarus Pit side effects.

🦇 "that's the thing about anger (it begs to stick around)" by orphan_account - On one hot August night, months after the death of Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain has one goal; nobody in Gotham City dies tonight. Her resurrected asshole brother has things to say to her about that. Cass and Jason play shoulder angel and shoulder devil. No fluff or healing to make things better, they hate each other and today they're even worse. <3

[galaxythreads]

You'd be patron Saint of whump of multiple characters in the same fic. There are a lot of writers who only hurt a specific characte, but you'll write a fic that seems to be loki whump and then make it your goal to put each avanger/warriors three+Sif through the wringer at least once in the course of the story. I really appreciate this aspect of your writing.

!!!! thank you. i work hard to make sure everyone gets traumatized and bloodied along the way. if they're in the fic, they're there to hurt or be hurt.

[seasons-beatings]

Question!

I’ve mentioned that I’m a little bit attached to the character of “Saint Whumpolas, patron saint of whump and the whump community” and all that. But I do recognize that using a saint based on St. Nicholas does not exactly go with the new version of the event, which I’m trying to keep inclusive to everyone. There’s really nothing I can do about the delivery date being on Christmas, but I feel like Saint Whumpolas might be something I can change.

[aceofwhump]

Hey bro!

I love love love and appreciate your participation in the whump themed monthly shenanigans. Have you ever thought of completing one of the challenges, but doing it all Ashmore(s)? I almost feel like that would be satisfying, entertaining, and challenging to do one filled by Patron Saint(s) of Whump gifs.

This feels like a sly gif request, but it's really not, just an observation and amusing thought to share with the community at large.

*Gasp* I have not thought about that but oh man now I really want to!!! That sounds like a lot of fun and totally doable given the amount of whump both of them go through. You know what, I'm gonna look at the whumptober prompts and see how many of them I can fit with the Ashmore twins cause this does sound like fun.

[themetaphorgirl]

the last of the whumptober prompts!

I've weeded through the lists and my inbox and my comments and I think I have everything? But these are the last prompts that 1) are still available and 2) I'm interested in writing!

let me know if anything scratches your brain!

No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL

Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | “Is there anybody alive out there?” (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)

No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES

Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | “Oh that’s not good.”

Alternatives List:

No-Holds-Barred Beatdown

Shivering

BONUS: Sicktember Prompts

#6: Dizziness/Vertigo

#13: Mononucleosis

#16: Brain Fog/Spaced Out 

#28: Sick on a Road Trip

Alts #1: Hospital Bed #2: “I didn’t mean to wake you up.” #3: First Aid Kit

[scattered-winter]

saint of whump and torture?

YAY <33333333333333333333

what am i the patron saint of?

[marceltheshellwithflipflopson]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag @becomethesun <3<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

allegedly 46,015, but 5,569 of those words were technically written by @freetobeyouandmichi-me in our shared au! (love ya)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

the last of us

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. cold is the water

2. buckets of rain / shelter from the storm

3. you love me so hard and i still can't sleep

4. matchbox

5. patron saints

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YES when @toointojoelmiller said ao3 comments were better than drugs she was RIGHT! but fr they make me giddy every time, even if it's just a singular emoji or a bunch of exclamation points

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

maybe creature fear? just because it's so early days joel and ellie, so there's no warm and fuzzies to be had anywhere. wouldn't say it's angsty though

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'm kind of incapable of writing a sad ending, so it's a three way tie between my fluffiest children (1) buckets of rain / shelter from the storm, (2) mountain high, valley low, river wide, and (3) fisherman hats and carpet stains

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not YET thank GOD

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do not

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i haven't but i have a prospect x tlou crossover in the earliest of early stages

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

kinda yes! michi wrote Roll for Halloween Hijacks for our modern au and was kind enough to name me as co-author

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i'm lame and most of my ships are just the ones that are already canon :/ but if i had to pick a wild card, i was oddly obsessed with peter parker/harley keener back in the marvel heyday

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i really don't want to speak this into existence, but literally any of my ideas for longfics

16. What are your writing strengths?

fluff, dialogue, authentic characters

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

underwriting, writing consistently, whump/angst

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i do not think i would be any good at this

19. First fandom you wrote for?

should i lay bare all the skeletons in my closet rn? on a tumblr that i deleted over a decade ago, i wrote a few random one-shots of fred weasley/reader, george weasley/reader, remus lupin/reader, sirius black/reader, (brace yourselves) dan howell/reader, and phil lester/reader ... what the fuck i even shipped phan so idk why i did this

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

this is a hard question but i think my home (far away). it challenged me and took me out of my comfort zone but at the same time it was some of the most fun i've ever had writing

no pressure tags! @lkay-09 @two-birds-alone-together @boopernatural (also sorry, you were probably already tagged bc of our braincell hivemind lol)

[whumperofworlds]

Patron saint of twisted (whump) humor!

Sounds about right 😆 🤣 Thanks for the ask!!!

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

I know we've moved on from the character anon asks, but I came for Brody like many others, stayed for Mark Davies for quite a while (I read his backlog and was fascinated, but I know the series is not currently (or maybe ever) updating please don't take this as pressure to pick him back up) and then fell deeply deeply in love with Clyde a few snippets after you first introduced him. There is definitely a bit of a hypercompetence/having-to-perform-accepted-social-norms-of-a-predetermined-role-under-pressure thing going on there... I'm definitely not projecting or anything...

And I think you are the patron saint of thoughtfulness. You both exemplify it and inspire it.

-🌸

Heheheh that is exactly what a lot of my pet whump is about. I know some people don’t like it (which I get! You do you boo!) but for some people who have felt very “”benevolently”” controlled it’s pretty cathartic.

And wow. Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m glad my little misery and torture blog is projecting such good things.

💛💛💛