#people don't realize how hard loss is unless it has happened to them

[terryfuckingturniptruck]

Everything is so hard right now.

[underaverageheight]

Only if You Watch

LMH x gn!reader smut - do not interact if you are a minor !! not really proofread

warning(s): mentions of fake blood & hanging (y/n recalls a memory) sub!minho x dom!reader, fingering, exhibitionism (i think? idk im new to this), cussing please let me know if i missed anything

a/n: this is my first smut piece so idrk what i'm doing tbh but again, let me know if i missed anything and as always, feedback is always helpful and i truly appreciate it since it's my motivation to keep writing! message me, reblog with feedback...anything i wanna know your guys' thoughts <3

prompt: "go fuck yourself" x "only if you watch"

you hated minho. at least, that's what you thought until you realized you'd love nothing more than for minho to break under your control. to hear those whines and whimpers, for those stupid little remarks and smirks to leave his face in an instant.

constantly, minho would be poking fun, doing everything possible to get under your skin. you tolerated it because chan's your best friend and you wouldn't want to make it awkward that one of his best friends can't stand the another.

today was movie night, at minho's. you were picked up by chan and really only went because of him anyways. you didn't care about whose house it is because chan's your best friend and partner in crime, you couldn't ditch him.

"welcome in guys, just about to do popcorn but the both of you can go ahead and get comfy on the couch. pick a movie," his innocent smile was all fake. you knew it since he began to tease you for unnamed reasons.

"thanks, c'mon y/n, minho has lots of movies," led over to the couch, you realized chan wasn't lying, he really did have a lot of movies. you sat with chan, sorting the movies. you were pretty open to most things except horror. when you were young, you came home to fake blood all over the house, one of your older brothers chasing you while masked and dripping in blood. your other brother, however, was waiting for you in the hallway, pretending to have been hung. you were traumatized, to say the least. you never forgave them for that and now you could never watch horror movies.

you heard the popcorn popping away as you read the back of a movie. then you heard the faint buzzing of a phone. "ah shoot. i'm so sorry guys, hannah just flew in a lot earlier than expected so i have to go pick her up and take her home. it'll be too late to come back, so enjoy the movie guys!"

"drive safe channie"

"bye hyung" minho's voice rang from the kitchen as he stepped out with the bowl of popcorn. setting down the bowl, he saw the movie you were holding and gave you a look, "romance? really? you could've picked horror, look at this wonderful stack of movies right here," he pat the growing stack of horror movies.

"um i just picked this one up and for your information, i hate horror. i don't understand why people watch this shit." you snapped at him, glaring slightly.

"never letting you pick a movie ever again," he muttered under his breath. with a sigh, he began to eat the popcorn.

"oh okay. you know what? go fuck yourself minho," you have always had a short temper, minho always knowing how to piss you off. but this only fuels your desire to break him.

he scoffed and looked at you with a slight smirk. "only if you watch,"

you were taken by surprise, your demeanor changing as you yank him towards his bedroom. "show me then." all signs of his cockiness drained from his face. he stuttered, clearly at a loss for words since his remark was meant to be a joke. not anymore.

"show me pretty boy. unless you want to call this off. just say the word and i'm out of here and this never happened." you leaned against his dresser, as he sat on the edge of his bed.

"i- i'll...i'll show you." his ears flared a bright red, even in the darkness of his room only lit by the fading sunset. minho was hard as he began to undress. he faced away from you, embarrassed when he was completely naked on his bed.

"go ahead and fuck yourself pretty bunny. i never knew you'd be like this considering all the annoying remarks you say. your cockiness is something to hide behind." you had began to look around his room, inspecting the little trinkets on his desk. while you were talking, he prepped himself and slowly began to finger himself. he was face down, his other arm muffling the soft moans that he let slip. being silent was the last shred of dignity he had.

"hngh," you froze, turning around to the sight of minho silently falling apart on his own fingers and softly rutting into the sheets.

"what was that? let me hear you," you crossed your arms, watching him remove his arm.

"n-nothing." you scoffed as you stepped toward the edge of the bed, pushing his fingers in even farther. a guttural moan erupted from his throat as his thighs began to tremble.

"pretty boy, was that nothing? if that was nothing, let me show you something," you stuck your fingers into his mouth as he sucked on them before switching his fingers with yours. with the angle you had, you reached the places that made him see stars. his back arched, his hips lifting off the bed as they slowly moved with your rhythm.

minho was panting, not wanting to give into the pleasure. "this? i can take this,"

"says the one fucking back onto my fingers," you increased your pace, causing him to moan again. you went deeper, feeling for his prostate. you knew you hit the right place when his hips froze and minho whined faintly. amused, you fingered him faster and deeper, abusing his prostate as his began to shake and whine.

"t-too much. feels g-good. c-can't-" he whined, making you go faster. oh this sight is one you'll never forget.

"you can take it. touch yourself. go ahead," you whispered into his ear as you moved his hand to his leaking cock. he started rutting into his hand quickly, to match the speed of your fingers. "good boy. show me what you got," he was whimpering now as he was approaching his high.

"g-gonna-" minho's eyes rolled back, his cum dripping off his fingers and onto the sheets below. you fingered him slowly through his high until he collapsed onto his bed.

"y'know i think you're okay, though you seem to hate me." you cleaned him up, wiping his sweat with a damp towel.

"i... i don't hate you, i'm just bad at expressing myself" minho muttered after his breathing was back to normal.

"bad? nah that was fucking terrible," you chuckled softly, rubbing circles on his back.

Masterlist

[goddessxoflight]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

what’s your OTP for your muse(s)?

Considering my Palutena is a canon-divergent version of herself from the Kid Icarus series, I did a lot of creative liberty to her backstory. So to those who are aware, I ship Palutena with Icarus, the son of Daedalus who drowned from getting too close to the sun. It's a tragic tale that left Palutena with a lot of loss trauma. I also ship her with @ikarosxflight's Pit considering his ties to Icarus. But if anyone else can (and is willing to) thaw her icy heart, then you know I'd ship it hard!! lol

what are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

I don't have a lot of triggers and those that I do have, I can differentiate between story telling and real life. Basically, what I mean to say is that if there is chemistry, I can make it work!

my partner would need to realize that things could get super dark, if my partner is willing to allow it to be. Palutena is a force to be reckoned with. She is manipulative and doesn't fall for someone easily, and will most likely use them for her own benefit rather than seeking out a romantic partner. It would have to take a resilient person for her to want to open her heart to them.

What I mean to say is, I'd want to ship with someone who understands this and is willing to write a toxic one-sided love story, or is willing to try and save her. (like jfc give me a Tohru Honda!! Palutena would buckle so hard lol)

how large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

Anyone Palutena would be interested in would have to be an adult well over the age of 18-- maybe even 25. She's thousands of years old, I promise she will not be looking at a 16 year old, lol. She's too mature to want to dabble with a child.

are you selective when shipping?

I am, but also... I'm not, if that makes sense, lol. So long as someone can show that they can have chemistry with Palutena, I can find a way to make it work! Though the person would have to understand that Pit would always come first, no matter what. It would be a tragic and angsty plot point in their love story, especially if they find out that Palutena is just using them for personal gain.

I'd want to discuss with my partner, but I'd like to write together beforehand, establish a plot, and then see if there is a connection both in writing and ooc.

how far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

Once hands start to explore and kisses become.... deeper, then I'd ask my partner if we could move the rp to discord or DM's, because it'd be obvious that the plot was about to take a mature turn and I'm a shy bean when I think about other people reading the nasty bits. Unless we both agree that our muses will be interrupted by something, then we can stick to tumblr!

does one have to ask to ship with you?

I wouldn't mind it at all! By all means, come to me and ask! I'd love to discuss something. But also, if it happens naturally too, I'm also okay with that. But given Palutena's nature, I definitely feel like it'd have to be something we discuss beforehand so we're both in an agreeance with how things will go.

how often do you like to ship?

With other muses, I'm a shipping whore! Love a good filthy romance and always looking for an excuse to write fluffy goodness and smut. For Palutena though, it's a little harder. I've only ever written shipping stuff with Dae's Pit, and that's only cause our muses have a lot of history together.

are you multiship?

I am! Palutena has lived for years. I can either make it that their relationship is just a blip in the long timeline of her life so I could make it canon to her story, or can make it an alternate universe that doesn't corelate with another ship I'm having with someone else. It really does depend on who I'm writing with and what we agree on, and if shipping with that person can change the trajectory of her story in an interesting way.

are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

....... I am ship obsessed, I admit. But I'd never force it down someone's throat, even if I thought our muses could work well together!! If my partner says no, I will back off so fast!

what is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

none, tbh;;;

finally, how does one ship with you?

Just vibe with me. Talk to me, poke at me and bother me, make friends with me! I'm friendly! lol If you keep talking about our muses and the possibilities that can happen between them, I will eat that shit up!

Tagged by: @piousolus!

Tagging: Anyone who wants to participate!

[vorareromantic]

hey im a 17yo she/her n i kinda feel like i maybe autistic but im not sure, can u give a few telltale signs which may help? (ik a diagnosis from a professional is better but it isnt exactly an option for me rn)

hey!!

so first and foremost, autism presents differently for everybody. connecting with other autistic people can be very helpful, but you don't have access to a professional diagnosis then i would also recommend doing your own research with medical articles, the dsm, etc. and try to avoid getting information off of places such as tiktok and instagram. i'm drawing a lot from my own experiences here because that's what i know, but i just think it's important to note that my experiences are not going to be the exact same as another autistic person you may talk to about this, nor will that person's experience be the exact same as the next one.

so for me, the biggest tell-tale sign was a lack of social awareness. as a kid, i had a hard time connecting to my peers in a way that they deemed fit. i would often speak too loudly, be disruptive, and say whatever was on my mind without realizing if it was oversharing or upsetting to people. however, this can also manifest as being too shy, not speaking enough, etc. unfortunately, your peers will often pick out from a young age that there is something different about you. on a similar note, i also have a very hard time carrying conversations with other people. if i have to, still to this day, i tend to overshare or talk about things that are not socially acceptable (a big recent topic has been cannibalism). that or i'll just go quiet, i tend to not say anything if i don't see anything that i feel needs to be said unless i am extremely desperate for human connection (which, contrary to stereotypes, can happen and often does for me. i just have a hard time relaying it). i also tend to share experiences about my own life when people are talking as a way to relate to them, which is not inherently an autistic trait, but it is very common for autistic people to do.

a more well-known sign of autism is a lack of eye contact, but it can also manifest as any other form of inappropriate eye contact ratio such as too much eye contact or focusing so much on maintaining an eye contact to looking away ratio that you can't focus on what's being said.

sensory issues are also very common. for me personally this manifests in scratchy fabrics, loud noises, wet or sharp noises, and food. however, autism can also encompass a reduced sensation of pain or temperature. those things are also not mutually exclusive, i have a reduced sensation of temperature and also severe sensory issues.

many autistic people have an aversion to physical touch, but that's not always the case.

stimming is another one, a common known stim is hand flapping, but any repetitive self-soothing movement or sound can be a stim. pulling examples from my own experiences, i often tap my wrists together, rock back and forth, twirl my hair, tap my arm, tap my wrists to my legs, laryngeal whistling, etc.

a low social battery is another thing, if you seem to get worn out in social situations before your peers do, etc. i know i can typically only be around most people irl for two hours at a time before i start getting overwhelmed. for me personally when i get overwhelmed it's an instant switch. i stop masking, my voice drops an octave, i can't look up at people, i stim more, it causes my entire body to feel exhausted and sometimes takes days to recover from.

not every autistic person experiences this, but i have speech loss episodes when i get too overwhelmed. which is pretty much that i can't speak no matter how hard i try to. sometimes i can write/text instead, sometimes i can't even form what i want to say in my head enough to do that. it depends on the situation.

having a hard time switching between tasks can also be a sign of autism, as a kid i would often need buffer time between going from reading to math, etc.

another thing can be fixated interests, not to say that anyone with intense interests is autistic but for me i have always formed almost parasocial?? attachments to fictional characters and would need to have the character involved in absolutely everything that i did in order to do it. a common misconception is that a special interest has to be something like science or trains, but it can be literally anything as long as it takes up an abnormal portion of your life. personally, my fixations can last several months to several years and can frequently negatively impact my life and make me late to events/work/class, make me lose friends from talking about it too much, etc.

obviously this is not an extensive list of autistic traits or my own experiences with autism, and i would definitely recommend further research. and even if you're not able to pursue a diagnosis at this time, if you're able to talk to a doctor during an appointment to see if they think you exhibit any signs or to get more insight as to what it may look like then you should consider doing so.

if you have any questions or want to talk about specifically why you think you might have autism, feel free to send me a dm :)

[codegengar]

schoolwork has slowed (as there are no pressing deadlines until starting next week, but i have not done any catching up on the lectures i have skipped...) and i am unemployed as of this week, so i have had a lot of time to myself once again.

there is such a striking contrast, now that i think about it between last week and the past few days. although those volatile, anger filled emotions from last week were facilitated by my job, i sometimes recoil in mental shock from the state of dissociative dread i relapse into once i do not have any form of human contact (besides my partner) throughout the week.

i felt that i was actually pretty stable the last two days as i had a lot of chores to do, as well as the fact that my partner was happy with me as i let him have sex with me. for the most part, i have refused most advances (basically everyday) and i feel like it does affect how his mood. this has happened early in our relationship, but i feel a little worse as now that we cohabitate together. besides the potential to contract more utis, i just feel so ugly. i do not have any desire to engage in any sexual activity anymore. although he might argue otherwise as i still masterbate, it's more as a habit for a quick dopamine hit (like doom scrolling on social media) than something i actually wish to do. today is another day where i refused in the morning, and he did not give me an enthusiastic good bye as he left for work.

i have this aggravating tendency to have my mood be dictated by how i perceive how people treat me. so i think this set the tone for the rest of today — just feeling a bit worthless and lost. i had done a lot of chores for the last two days, so there is nothing easy to throw myself into (another task that i need to do is organize / tidy up the two desks we have, but that will take up a lot of mental energy), unless i want to do the dishes for the 6th time this week (it is only wednesday!).

i feel like i tried so hard to set myself up for success, but i just disappoint myself every time. i bought an ipad, a floor desk, new stationery... yet i am paralyzed by the very thought of being productive in any capacity — whether it be a creative hobby, chores, schoolwork, or weight loss. eating pasta at 9pm for dinner definitely did not contribute to the latter.

how can i find the motivation to live life how i want to? i have asked this in therapy and i have thought about it a lot (but maybe not as much as i should), but moving away from your toxic, dysfunctional family does not make everything suddenly better. hell, maybe i hold the delusion that by being away from them five out of seven days a week, i suddenly do not have mental illness. even bigger hell, now that i have put forth these thoughts into a physical reality, i am treating and comparing myself to the capabilities of a neurotypical person. but i can be doing better. (that's the perfectionist in me talking.)

as my university friends start to graduate one by one, the more mentally isolated i feel from my peers since i am not only older but that _i don't care about academia_. maybe if i was younger and more passionate (and less cognitively damaged) i would fair well in university... but at this point i am just going because my parents want me to be academically credited for something as if that would help me in my future (well, it is better than nothing, i guess).

side note, i just realized that my spotify wrapped is out and seeing the music artist messages really helped me a lot. i feel kind of cheated that two of my top artists french composers though. i only listened to classical piano songs to help me sleep early in the year. gymnopédie by erik satie does slap though (but does it really need to be my number one spotify song for 2023?).

i'm playing valorant with some online friends, so i'll cut these thoughts short for tonight. maybe more later.

[some-messed-up-writing-for-you]

"A drunk villain topping a sober yet submissive hero?🙏"

Request #9

Warning: nsfw.

A fun little idea! This is also the last request from my old blog's inbox, which I'm glad about because my current inbox is already filling with new requests. (Keep 'em coming tho! I love your ideas!💖)

I also gotta say, I've been on fire recently! I've been writing so much I got drafts saved and ready to be posted! Hopefully, I don't jinx myself here lmao.

Anyways, enjoy! ^^

~~~~

Hero weaved through the crowd of criminals, wine glass in hand, as they kept an eye out for their target. They have been sent out on a mission by Organization. They were to find Villain, capture them, and at last bring them to justice.

The hero was currently at a ball being held by Supervillain. Their disguise consisted of state-of-the-art technology forming a hologram over their entire body, making them look like Other Villain, with whom Villain is on good terms. Combined with a voice changer, they would no doubt fool the villain and catch them off guard.

Hero's plan was pretty basic. They were going to find Villain, drag them off somewhere away from the party, pin them down, and cuff them.

"Simple, but effective." - they thought to themself. The hero's only issue now was that they still had no idea where the hell Villain was-

"Well, hello~." - a voice slurred from behind Hero, and before they could even turn around, an arm hooked around their shoulders, and Villain's ugly mug was right in their face.

Getting into character, the hero responded, "Ah, Villain! It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Mmm, sure has. Hey, how's about we... make up for lost time, eh?" - the villain asked, leaning even closer to the disguised hero's face, running a finger down their jawline suggestively. The smell of alcohol wafting off them made Hero's eyes sting, but they played along nonetheless, "Well... I don't see why not~."

"Oh, this is perfect." - Hero thought. They have been preparing for this for weeks. They had to catch Other Villain a few weeks back, just so that they could pull this off. And out of all possible outcomes, this was the best and most convenient one.

"But perhaps let's go somewhere more... private." - the hero suggested, dragging Villain along down a nearby hallway. The other did not resist, letting 'Other Villain' pull them into a random bedroom as they drunkenly giggled to themself.

Hero locked the door behind them, and before Villain could react, they grabbed their arms and pinned them down on the side of the bed, turning off their disguise.

Villain looked surprised, then confused, and then something seemed to click in their head.

"Oh, my. Hero, if you wanted to have some fun that badly, you could have just asked~."

It was the wrong thing that clicked. Hero's face heated up at the other's words. They found themself at a loss. And in their surprise failed to realize that their hold on the villain had loosened.

Villain, drunk out of their mind, somehow noticed their slack hold, and before the hero knew it, their positions had switched. The villain was on top of them, pinning their arms above their head and grinning down at them, their bodies pressed against each other.

And as their crotches brushed, Hero's face turned beet red. They couldn't stop a shudder from running through them as the villain whispered in their ear, "So, how about it, Hero~? Wanna play~?"

The hero tried to stutter out an answer but found that they couldn't. They looked for a possible way out, and to their surprise, noticed that Villain's grip wasn't as strong as it could be. They have been pinned down by the other plenty of times in the past during their fights, so they knew that they could easily escape right now.

...

But did they want to?

Hero could feel their blood rushing down to their sex as the villain rubbed against them. They knew they shouldn't be letting this happen, but... Villain just looked so hot like this. And their touch was making the hero want more.

"F-Fine, let's play." - the villain only giggled in reply and locked their lips together, kissing hard and with need. The feeling distracting the hero's senses. They inhaled sharply as the other's grip suddenly increased. Have- Have they been pretending to be weakened?!

Hero could not escape anymore, and honestly...

...they didn't mind in the slightest.

As their kiss continued, Villain dragged the hero to the middle of the bed. Releasing their wrists, they ran their hands down Hero's chest and then began unbuttoning their shirt. In their drunken state, however, they struggled and tore the shirt open out of annoyance.

Hero whined a bit at the sight of the loose buttons flying and decided to ruin the other's shirt the same way. They went to grab the fabric and tear it off the other, only to have their hands pinned at their sides.

A "Tsk, tsk." sounded in their ear as Villain scolded them, "You don't get to touch me unless I say so." - the sudden chiding caught the hero off guard, and they couldn't stop the pit that grew in their stomach from the villain assuming control.

"Understand~?" - Villain asked, their lips brushing against the shell of Hero's ear, eliciting a small gasp from them. A wave of pleasure shot through them as the other nibbled on their earlobe.

"Y-Yes." - the hero managed to mutter out, somehow already breathless. Barely anything has happened yet, so why were they freaking out so much?! Why did- Why did it feel so... good to be below Villain like this?

Was it just the danger of letting their nemesis have control over them? The adrenaline of being at their mercy?

The excitement of being so close together?

"Good~." - the villain purred above them, running their hands across every bit of Hero's torso, dragging their nails down the other's back, arching it and making a shiver travel down their spine.

The hero had to bite back a moan as the other ground against them once more. They wanted to pull the rest of Villain's clothes off but knew that they couldn't, that they weren't allowed to.

That powerlessness only served to turn them on further. Hero clawed at the plush bedsheets below them, bunching up the fine material between their fingers. The villain chuckled at the sight, leaving a trail of kisses down the other's neck. Going down their chest, they bit the hero occasionally, bruising their flesh and making them whine needly.

Villain went even lower, tugging down the hero's pants, but only slightly, not enough to reveal their sensitive genitalia. They left even more kisses on them, licking their skin, making Hero inhale shakily and wonder what the villain's tongue would feel like just a little bit lower.

That pondering only worsened as Villain forced their legs apart and mouthed them through their pants, teasing the hero, who this time couldn't help the moan that slipped past their lips.

Hero tried to grab the other's head on instinct. They wanted to keep them there, for that sweet feeling to continue but stopped themself halfway, remembering how the villain forbade them from touching them. They grasped at the bedsheets once again, knuckles hurting from their hard grip.

"Good hero~." - Villain praised, making the hero blush even more, as they turned their head to the side, trying to hide and smush it into the pillows. Their face, however, was back on full display within seconds as the villain suddenly pulled their pants down further and took Hero into their mouth.

The hero couldn't stop the curse that left them alongside Villain's name, which they began to moan louder the more the villain licked and sucked at their privates. The feeling of the other's teeth teasingly dragging down them made Hero's back arch again, and the threat of Villain being able to bite down on them made their insides twist.

They whimpered as the villain suddenly pulled away from them, only to swallow the lump that had formed in their throat as the criminal stripped themself of their remaining clothing, revealing themself to the hero lying below them.

"Like what you see~?" - Villain asked, giggling. The alcohol in their system still making them giddy. Hero could only stare at them, impossibly red in the face as they answered, breathless, "Yes."

The villain leaned forward, once more looming over the other, and the hero whined at the sight, pleading, "V-Villain, please can I touch you? Please, I- I want to touch you, please."

"Aww, begging already?" - the villain teased, taking hold of Hero's hips and positioning themself against them. The hero went to beg more, but only a mixture of a moan and a whine left them as Villain slid into them without warning.

The villain's pace was slow and surprisingly steady, considering how drunk they were. Hero held onto the bedsheets like their life depended on it. They wanted to touch the other so, so badly.

Villain leaned down and caught their lips in a light kiss, running their hands up the hero's sides, making them squirm. A gasp left Hero as the villain hit them in the right spot. The other grinned and pushed against it, again and again, thrusting in quickly and roughly, but slowly pulling out and then repeating the cycle until the hero was begging them again.

"F-Fuck! Villain, please!" - Hero yelled across the room, their mind so clouded with lust that they have forgotten all the enemies that surrounded them, all the villains and criminals alike partying just a short distance away. So many people, which wouldn't hesitate to kill them on sight.

Villain merely grinned. They could feel their orgasm coming closer and decided that they have messed around for long enough, "Hero~..."

Said hero focused on them, as best as they could anyway, and exhaled weakly as the villain's words registered in their clouded brain.

"You may touch me~."

Hero wasted no time hooking their limbs around the other. They moaned as their lips crushed together, as Villain began to pound into them without mercy.

The feeling of their skin against each other, the sheer amount of intimacy, and physical contact quickly drove the hero over the edge. And as they yelled out the villain's name, they too felt their blissful finish wash over them.

As the two began to gasp for air, slowly coming down from their high, Villain slid off of Hero, whose eyes were closed as they tried to steady their breathing.

The hero's eyes snapped open, however, at the feeling of power suppressing cuffs locking around their wrists.

"W-Wait, what is-" - they tried but were interrupted as the door suddenly burst open, and Supervillain's henchmen flooded the room, followed by their boss.

"Are you quite done yet?" - the supervillain asked Villain, an impatient look on their face that only made the villain giggle, adding to Supervillain's annoyance.

"Yeaaah, I guess I am." - the villain responded, ignoring the shocked hero beside them as they got up from the bed and approached the supervillain.

"Unless you wanna have some fun too~?" - they asked, leaning against the other criminal, still very much but-ass naked.

Supervillain only pushed them off and growled out, "Ugh, don't touch me. You smell like heroism and righteousness. Disgusting."

"Aww, but then... don't you wanna make me smell like chaos and evilness, again~?" - Villain playfully pushed, stretching their body in a teasing manner.

The supervillain only grumbled under their breath, "Oh, you stupid fucking..." before turning to their henchmen and barking out some orders at them.

The henchmen grabbed Hero and left the room. Supervillain relocked the door behind them and proceeded to drag Villain back towards the bed.

[drarrymylove]

Do y'all remember when you were younger and making friends still felt like falling in love?

Like now, you're all "let's meet for brunch on a Sunday" even though you hate leaving the house on Sundays but it's the only day you both have off work and your have to pick out your outfit that says something between "I'm not poor and this outfit is definitely not 6 years old... unless you think it's cool, then it's absolutely 6 years old and I got it from a thrift store when it was already 5 years old and definitely didn't buy it from some fast fashion website or old navy and yes, the hole in my shirt only happened this morning when I was rescuing a puppy from a busy intersection and not the result of years of overuse" and "this is the nicest shirt I own, please don't judge me for being overdressed. It's not at all appropriate for the venue but I want you to think I'm effortlessly pretty like I think you are. Also, we can't hang out again after this for at least 3 paychecks so I can keep this up."

You're not in the same boat like you were before. We were all in school, the same level of inexperienced, similar expectations, similar ages and experiences and when you find someone you clicked with, you saw them all the time, have class together, lunch together, they were constant. And you had time to live for the moments you had together without worrying about making time to seek them out, to coordinate schedules or pick a venue. You just knew they'd be there.

And good god is it horrible to find new friends when you're an adult. Especially when you don't go to church or play sports or do the parent group stuff or whatever it is that makes parents be friends with each other.

Being older is so insanely lonely and I can't believe people don't talk about it. I haven't made a new friend in years. I'll hang out with someone for a few months and realize I'm playing a character the whole time trying to make sure they like me and it's so easy to drift out of people's lives with practically no resistance. No one chases you down and says "I have missed you". And the older you get, the fewer people you find with similar life experiences... even in the same work environment.

Like, you can have one ex-con who sells drugs or of his car, an early-thirties woman with a teenage child, a 25-year-old student working on a masters degree, a 17-year old who has never worked or lived outside her home town that has a population of >5k until 3 weeks ago, and a part-time sex worker all working at the same place. How do you make friends that really *get* you like your childhood or school-age friends?

And eventually you have to understand that you'll never make friends like you did when you were younger. Your old friends are still there. But one is on their second child 2,000 miles away and the other just bought a house in the hometown you fought so hard to leave and works 2nd shift so your free time doesn't even overlap for a phone call. They are still there but it's different. And it's terrifying because what if they don't miss you in the heartbreaking way you miss them?

And when you were the most important people in each other's lives... it really did feel like falling in love. Such a deep and profound platonic love that faded and changed to the point you know you'll grieve the loss/change of it for the rest of your life.

How are we ever supposed to recover from that?

[codenamesazanka]

Warning: Rant, character bashing, lots of opinions

I'm saying it outright. I hate Deku. He is entirely underwhelming as a character, much less as the main character, the shonen protagonist of the series.

It's a 'different' type of dislike, though. I feel like I could've like his character. There's nothing greatly disagreeable about him, he's as inoffensive as can be, he's an optimistic, considerate, and polite boy, he's as plain as he is said to be, and that's fine.

My issue is that he's not the character he's said to be. I, personally, just don't buy that he "possesses a drive to save others that eclipses all common understanding", or that he's super intelligent with great analytical abilities that he actually applies on the battlefield, or, in general, he's as amazing or heroic or compassionate as he's apparently supposed to be. How can he be inspiring if he barely challenges any aspects of the society he lives in. Deku is a super good example of the terrible use of "Tell, Don't Show". We're told about his amazing traits, but he rarely follows through; when we do see hints of it, it's lauded but frankly I think it's typical behavior and (this though is not quite his fault) written so stiffly and awkwardly I'm not convinced.

(Honestly I might even call him a Canon Mary Sue. He has no interesting or distinguishable flaws, unless having a shit for brains attitude is one but that's not acknowledged by the narrative. Breaking bones is not a personality trait. If he has a Hero Complex, it's not even the interesting ones where he fucks things up even more; or carries crippling guilt about circumstances beyond his control; or focuses completely on saving people to the point of rejecting almost all human connections and keeping deadly secrets - which is All Might's big flaw.) (Well fair, he does this in the most recent chapter but did it need to take 300+ chapters? Plus I sense the way it's framed is that it's the radical, but right course of action.)

Say what you want about Villains and redemption/shouldn't be redeemed/too evil to be saved/justice/etc, but I think this 'Incredible Drive To Save' should've included Villains from the start. Why does Deku want to "Save people with a smile on his face"? Assuming it's empathy, he should have felt some towards everyone he encounters, whether it's sensible or not. "Why are you so angry?", "You shouldn't go about things this way", "What caused them to be like this?", "Why is there evil in the world?" even. I'm still fuming over his Mall Encounter with Shigaraki, where Shigaraki pretty much reveals his damage: "All Might acts like there's no one he can't save"; but ultimately Deku goes "Wow, that sure is an opinion."

What kind of inane response is this??? There's little pushback from the narrative either, so this isn't pointed out as a failing of his (because, again, he has no big flaws). And he's supposed to be smart and caring. Yes, he does ask All Might right after the Mall Encounter, "Was there anyone you can't save?"; but essentially the replies he gets is "Don't worry about it" and Deku immediately largely puts it out of his mind "Oh whew, I was about to do some introspection and reflection". There isn't even the daunting, kinda-existential anxiety that people get when they realize it's impossible to save/help everyone - which is something, like, medical workers have to learn to deal with - that sharp sense of the inevitably of death, of loss, failure, guilt. I'm not asking for him to come to the conclusion that everyone should be saved - he could've decided nah, Shigaraki is too ugly to be saved and I would've been fine with that, it's part of the character role and potential development - just that he should've had a conclusion at all.

There are the latest chapters where Deku decides he wants to try saving Shigaraki first (though killing him is still on the table), true. Him wanting to save Shigaraki after seeing AFO merged with him, after seeing The Crying Child - but see, I don't think it qualifies because I think it's the bare minimum about of consideration, the typical response to seeing the body horror of warped, fused flesh, to seeing a small sad little boy. I think it shouldn't require "You look like you needed saving" for a true Hero to consider saving someone. Not for someone who is supposed to be unique and special in this regard.

*

I've complained about this before, but the trouble with Deku was evident from the very beginning.

Again, Deku wants to save people with a smile on his face, and again, I’m assuming it’s empathy. We're shown this on the very first page, as he attempts to protect a friend(?) from bullies, but imo like it felt groundless because who was the kid he was protecting? We never see him again. Did Deku's standing up to Bakugou work, and the kid was saved? Or did they both got beaten up; but afterwards, being the kind boy Deku is supposed to be, he still gets to his feet to help the boy, to apologize for failing.

But more significantly, this theme of saving was overshadowed immediately by his focus on superpowers - that he was quirkless. Next page, his focus was on ‘Woah, giant villain and superpowers!’ Instead of like. Helping people. (Though I chalk this up to early installment weirdness)

What should’ve happened if the theme was ‘SAVE PEOPLE’ Is something like: The opening sentence being “People are not born equal. This is the harsh truth I learned when I was four. I knew that... but despite my powerless, I still wanted to help. That was my first and last setback.” And the panels/images themselves (of little Katsuki and his friends) implies that people on the world thinks you need power to help people.

When he saw the villain attack on way to school, Deku can be wow’ed by the spectacle! But then he notices a kid crying and offers to help find his mom. He can be interrupted by a Hero saying he (the hero) will take over, he can find the mom and realize he’s late for school (and so that shows he’s willing to sacrifice something of his to help others! Because of his altruistic nature!). A scene like that, of him helping the lost kid, we would know that he wants to help *anyone*. At school, though, he still gets bullied for not having powers. So he’s mulling over that when he meets All Might, and asks the question.

It proceeds as usual for the next few events: When the sludge monster attacks Katsuki, he can still go gawk at the scene. He can still hesitate. In canon, it's only when he realized the victim was his friend that he jumps into action, which I thinks undermines the theme of 'wanting to save indiscriminately'. IMO, it would've been better that Deku sees it’s his friend, but he still hesitates. “There’s nothing I can do right? All Might himself said so...” But when he sees Katsuki’s *face* of fear, he runs to help. Instead of seeming like he helps only because he realizes it’s his friend, he helps because he feels too deeply about trying to save Katsuki.

Admittedly these are minor, personal critiques; but all in all, the first chapter fails to establish Deku is the willpowered, champion of wanting to save people he's supposed to be.

--Which is fine, if it's acknowledged in the story later, that maybe he wasn't the True Blue Hero he's supposed to be at first, but he can change and still become one. But it's not - Deku is apparently special, without anything special to show for it.

*

I read the one-shot "My Hero" - the prototype for this series - that Horikoshi published years ago, before My Hero Academia was created. I also found it underwhelming, but that was due to personal tastes (I wanted more explosions and dumb violence); as a story on it's own merit, the logic and progression was solid.

The Villains Heroes fought were 'Aberrations' - true inhuman monsters that showed no sentience that would eat people - so the focus could be solely on saving humans. The main character - Jack Midoriya - his original goal was less 'save people' and more 'become a cool hero', before learning that saving people is what true heroism is about, hero license unneeded. (Moreover, he really did 'save' someone without being a hero - by working hard, he was preventing the company from becoming ruined completely, which the CEO had confessed and thanked him for. )

This version of Midoriya didn't exactly needed deep empathy or compassion for that, just a strong willpower, which he effectively demonstrated by chasing after a childhood dream even as an adult salaryman in a tanking company, even though he had anemia and no training and no license. He insisted on this, to the point of getting hurt by being dumb, of being petty over someone dissing the Hero who inspired him in the first place, of skipping out of work and going vigilante. Not the most upstanding guy, but he came through in the relevant themes of the story, in being the character the story needed him to be.

Jack Midoriya was an unimpressive, weird-looking, weak, pitiful, somewhat selfish, awkward salaryman with no great aspects that 'eclipses all common understanding'. But he was a far stronger character than his incarnation Izuku Midoriya could ever be (so far).

[paversandplatters]

||𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚂𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚙|| (3/20)

Apocalypse! Au (TW! Minor gore and cussing)

Reader x multiple

Chapter 3: A Site to Behold

Nick manages a slow shake of his head as she looks up at the railings of the church choir loft, it’s about 20 feet above them. She reaches for the knife at her hip, pulling the bloodstain instrument from her belt keeping it at the ready. With a few hand signals motioning to follow.

With some great reluctance they begin to ascend the stairs with her cringing slightly as each wooden step creaks softly in protest. Once at the top she realizes that there are three doors two on the left hand wall, both a women's and men’s restroom and at the very end of the narrow walk way is a door slightly ajar leading into what they can assume is storage. With bated breath she listens silently noting that the sound seems to be coming from the women's restroom. loud rattling and scraping of metal against the floor, heavy footsteps marching back and forth; faster and not as clumsily as the cadavers below them were. Chains, she realizes, it sounds like chains.

With a few hand waves they position themselves around the doorway with their backs against the wall she reaches for the handle of the door slowly pushing it open. The rattling of chains and footsteps stop in time with the dull whine the door makes- silence returns. Heart pounding in her ears, she glances towards Nick and George seeing how both are white knuckling their guns In anticipation of the worst.

A moment passes ...

Then another ...

Nothing.

Not a sound.

They glanced between each other- a conversation carries on silently. Who is going to look in? Though the question isn't left unanswered for very long before she takes the first step to move into the doorway, craning her neck to peek at what hellish creature maybe waiting there.

Her breath is caught mid step,She'd been expecting this but somehow the site still caught her off guard. Perhaps it's just the sheer towering height of the thing stood there in the middle of the room- it's figure outlined in the dull orange morning light that’s managed to seep through the cracks and opening of the boarded up window in this dirty abandoned restroom... Or maybe that it’s the bulky metal chains connected to each appendage. Each end of chain is anchored to different areas of the room some to the ceiling, other to the walls and the floor very obviously meant to restrict the movement of this thing. But the most striking feature was the large circular mask on its face bearing no features save a simple smiley face. Much like the biters downstairs a large crudely made cage framed his head connecting to a heavy and equally crudely made metal collar around its neck.

She's frozen, examining the creature before her. The very presence of this thing is almost overwhelmingly terrifying. It's just standing there stock-still faced in the vague direction of the door, covered head to toe in caked blood and dirt. She almost doesn't notice it at first but… it’s shoulders are rising and falling in a slow rhythm. It's breathing. It’s ALIVE.

“Holy shit!”

She must have been caught in her trance too long as Nick’s reaction not only makes her jump but also the person before them suddenly starts to move and reel backwards, thrashing violently like a wild predatory animal trying to escape its bindings. He’s backed himself into a a corner pulling on the chain hard enough she sure his wrists have to have taken some sort damage but he makes no reaction to such. Nick unconsciously stumbles back crashing into George sending them both onto their asses, George whines at the Jostling of his still unattended wounds.

“Nick what the fuck-“ The thought is suddenly cut off as he catches site of the thing before them.

“What isI the fuck is that?!”

George squeals out now three shades paler, be it from the shock or loss of blood. Nick is the first to level his gun at the figure. Instinct takes over as she knocks the gun from his hand the single round missing its target and lodging itself into the rafters above.

“WAIT!” The proclamation is met with two very confused faces.

“He's alive! don't shoot hold your fire.” She doesn't so much ask, as much demands. They exchange a look of complete disbelief, truthfully she knows they can’t be blamed.

“Just hold on they're still alive and obviously being kept here forcibly.” she clarifies. The ominously large figure pauses in its violent thrashing to turn an look in her direction or well the direction of her voice. Can this thing even see? The tension in his posture is enough to let her know he still hasn't let his guard down but is obviously listening to her words. Lord only knows what he's seen and experienced in the time that he’s been shackled here.

Cautiously she steps forward.

“You are alive aren’t you…?” It takes a moment but she’s answered with a curt nod.

“Why are you being kept here…” nothing happens for a long moment before he shrugs. She moves to take another step.

“Can you speak…?” The knife in her hand is still raised and ready. A glance behind her assures that her two companions are poised and ready for back up.

Again he doesn’t speak but his body language tenses a bit more but he doesn't make a move to oppose her coming closer. Boots thump softly against the floor, his breathing sounds labored now, likely exhausted.

“You’re injured aren’t you..?” The massive figure takes a moment to tilt his head questioningly before nodding.

“I can help, I won’t hurt you unless you hurt me… understand?”

Another nod. Good this makes this much less complicated. When her hand finds his arm, it’s quickly yanked from her grip drawn backward away from her in protest.

“Woah hold on big guy it’s just me, I have to check you over… make sure you’re not infected or something. “

He slowly stills, allowing her hand to rest on his forearm.

She begins to narrate her next steps as she moves her hands to grab the bottom of his shirt. there's too much blood, dirt and grime on the garment to be able to tell the extent of the wounds there. The shirt ends up being peeled off, having been stuck to the skin with now long coagulated clumps of blood. It reveals a long gash that starts at the bottom of his ribcage curved down to just under his left hip. She has no idea how he still holding together- from the looks of it his guts should be spilling out onto the floor. She’s not sure whether or not to call this a miracle or some hellish punishment he’s meant to endure. Continuing on to check him over, there are numerous blossoming bruises and welts, all in different stages of healing. she swears she that one of his ribs is poking out at an odd angle. The more she inspects the more it sickens her to look at.

“You’ve really been through hell haven't you..” there is no response to her words.

“He’s clean. No bites just fucked up.” She calls out confirming her findings to party waiting in the doorway.

“That thing is really alive…?” the Brit mutters out still looking on with complete shock still settled into his features.

“So now what? He must have been chained for a reason, are you just gonna let him out..?” Nick questions voice obviously portraying his concern. Again she doesn’t blame him, there’s no evidence to suggest any of this is a good idea.

“He could’ve killed me already if he wanted… besides he knows he’s out numbered..”

“What- you’re not actually going to- y/n no absolutely not!” George squawks protest.

“I can’t just leave him here.” Y/n confirms, hands already in her pocket fishing for the one of the most invaluable items she owns: a hair pin.

“He could be a murder for all you know!”

“Like we aren’t..?” She mutters back. In the two years the worlds gone to shit, survival comes at any cost- even at the expense of other people lives. It’s a harsh reality sure, but what other choice is there? You do what you can to keep moving, if you’re lucky you find a party that’s willing to move with you for the sake of safety in numbers and a common goal. George of all people should be aware of that more than anything…

With out any further words of protest, she produces the pin from her pocket setting to work on freeing his arms and legs first. He keeps to himself but begins to tremble slightly. It’s takes some time and finessing, but shackles clatters to the ground one by one. The only thing that remains on his person is the cage and mask on his head.

“You’re too tall, lean down so I can get that stupid thing off you.”

He bows his head almost eagerly, nearly folding himself in half trying to grant her as much access as possible. The angle is awkward, making the task that much harder, none the less after a few minutes of fidgeting the collar pops open. Just as soon as it does his hands fly to his neck, desperate to remove the cage. He tosses it aside, and frantically his hands reach to the back of his head pulling the straps of the mask still stuck on his face. With sheer brute force it’s pulled free, joining the cage at the other end of the room.

Suddenly she’s met with wild green eyes that peek out under from long wavy dirty blonde hair. Just barely, able to make the faint marking of freckles on his face before he turns quickly to stare down at the two men guarding the doorway. The cloth gag in his mouth is pulled free as if were made of paper.

His voice rings out raw and cracked.

“they’ll be back soon.”

Let me know if your like to be added to the tag list!

@the-wandering-pan-ace

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Happy new year everyone 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

I know 2020 has been hard for everyone.

And I want everyone to know, suffering isn't a contest and we all suffer in different ways. But I feel I should give my year in Review. Just some things that happened to me personally.

This was an intense, and long and spiritual and emotional journey for me...

I really discovered what it meant to have community, family and what my life means to me.

But I feel I need to get this in writing cause I can remember the year with vivid detail and I will probably forget if I don't get it down.

Do I have to share this publically online to my tumblr account for a bunch of strangers to see? not really.

Do I want to?

Yes. I think so. Just from how so many people on tumblr and real life have touched me.

This is kinda long and no one needs to read this.

(idk how to do a readmore on mobile. But this is where I would add it later. No one needs to read if they don't want to.)

January/February: (and some background on the last five years of my life cause.....well. it's important.)

As people knew, I got way into Invader Zim last summer. I spent most of my waking life working a dead end job at a grocery store. I lived a sad lonely life, going straight home to a single dark studio apartment. With not many material possessions outside of games, my laptop and my tablet to my name. Half of my material loves, such as home furnishings and books were still in boxes from when I moved in. In case I ever had to move again, or get some "big screenshot or copywriter" job in the city.

....

I lived in that city in the same dead end job and apartment for five years.

No friends. No social life. I often refused to make doctor appointments or attempt to establish myself in that city. I didn't even talk to anyone in my workplace.

Work. Go online. Go to sleep.

I lived like that for five years.

I thought it was good.

Even my therapist thought I was doing well.

When I really wasn't. My main character flaw I struggle with is motivation.

I can talk to someone about very detailed plans I have to fix a problem... But I tend to never follow through.

Just because I can describe in detail how to fix my personal problems, it doesn't mean I will do it.

(I have gotten better at this but it's a major struggle)

I might have been a Zombie during the day...

But by night I was pouring my soul into my AU and my analysis.

After being so thoughly ignored or overlooked by the Naruto fandom and the Undertale fandom, I felt like I had finally found my home and was settling into a community there.

I just loved that people loved what I had to say.

Especially my AU.

It's no secret that a lot of themes in my au revolve around found family, grief, and loss.......

Fatherhood, in particular.

What it means to be a father, how much do you need to try when you mess up, how willing should a child forgive their parent, especially those that have wronged you and how much of it is factually accurate and simply a self projection of what children want their parents to be and visa versa... What amount of forgiveness and change is nessasary...is it needed?

....

It's no secret that a lot of my AU is a giant coping mechanism for my Dad's death. Espessially the falling out and growing closer with a lot of my family members throughout the years following his death. (Most of the time I keep it ambiguous to how it relates to my personal life unless I include a readmore that states so outright. I feel my au can be enjoyed by a variety of people in the fandom who don't need to know me as a person or my life story.)

My Dad passed away in 2016 in February and my family still feels the aftershocks to this day.

It's part of the reason I moved to the city, alienated myself from my family and people that loved me and refused to experience life for five years.

My entire world was Zim, and I was okay.

March: When America finally realized and started to feel the effects of the pandemic....

A lot of people got scared.

Me included.

I didn't have any streaming services or access to the news. So I only heard accounts from my mom.

I didn't understand why the store was so dead quiet and empty for a few days, then it went into mass chaos and panic in the span of two days.

It felt like Retail black friday in the worst way. Everyone was packed like sardines. Everyone was yelling. The lines at the registers bled into the clothing department.

I was witness to customers shoving others for toilet paper, being rude to cashier's and just overall unpleasantness.

At the time, I didn't even fully grasp what the pandemic was, and I feel a lot of people at the time didn't either.

I ended up absentmindedly scratching my eyebrow in front of a customer and she screamed and villanised me for it. That they didn't want groceries touched by my "unclean hands"

I ended up breaking down into tears.

The customer behind me gave me a hug and told me I was doing a great job.

But the damage was done. It was the final straw, I couldn't stop crying and I was breaking apart.

Thankfully my Boss (the one who likes me) pulled me aside and asked what's wrong.

It was then that I quit. No notice. Same day. I had to get out of there.

I was planning to move to an apartment with my sister in the summer, but my Mom offered for me to move back in with her temperarily just so I can get out of the city and away from the pandemic.

So I did.

I got scared, broke my lease a month early and quit my job of five years that gave me nothing back.

He told me, "take care of yourself and your family, I won't keep you here, do what you need to do."

So I did.

April-June:

A very eventful few months.

My mom offered for me to live at her place, but for some reason she was acting like I would live there forever. That this wasn't a temporary arrangement, and that I didn't have an apartment set up already.

This was in large part to my sister, who had lived with my mom taking advantage of her for years.

Even though my sister and I were going to move in together, I was just never sure about it cause of how she never packed her stuff or made any effort to find a job.

My mom often acted like I was lazy and not searching and was treating me like... Well, an unruly teenager instead of a woman of 29 years. She acted like I was a failure for returning home when it was her idea in the first place.

I would have just been petrified in the city.

Like usual, I retreated to my au again.... And in the spring, something eventful happened.

In may, 8th 2020:

I was invited by @rissynicole to join an invader zim discord.

Now, I've never really used discord before. I always thought it's interface is too confusing.. and I'm a member of a few other iz discords and I usually don't follow them that closely.

Rissy assured me it was different cause some friends of thiers made it and it was smaller.

Before I knew it, I was sharing memes and getting to know everyone there.

It wasn't long after I invited my partner in IZ crimes, @paketdimensioncomic who was genuinely wary of iz servers due to a bad experience with the last one they were a part of.

But soon they were sharing memes and laughing with everyone else.

My eyes were starting to open and I was able to connect to fans of my work in an interpersonal way. And I was able to discover new artists and aus I never knew about.

I was also able to meet so many others of the community and invite them to the server myself.

The moo-ping 10 server kept me sane while I was living with my judgmental mother.

Not only that, the summer was very productive for my au.

Drawing was all I did, and it was a huge break from the job as a cashier I had.

Not only that, June came, and with it, me and Ceph's first collab fic:

A result of us just going back and forth in our DMs constantly about Professor Membrane and how he changed in ETF for the better and how much we adamantly stan "trying-to-be-a-good-dad-brane" and how much of his ETF development has to be implied off screen in order for the emotional resolution in the movie to matter.

The only reason I never professed my love for Membrane as a character in the fandom before the fic dropped was.... Well....

Membrane can be a decisive character in the fandom and I was so worried people would hate me if I did an analysis on him, simply because he's not the best parent in the world. (As an understatement)

Ceph and I really encouraged each other to scream our love for the science himbo loud and proud more frequently and so often.... I actually start to see less Membrane hate posts and breakdowns then their used to be.... I like to think it's a combination of Me and Ceph's influence, along with ETF and the Quarterly's painting Membrane in a slightly more nuanced light then he was previously.

I never wrote a collab fic before and it's such a rewarding and fun and unique experience that I don't think I'll ever have again. And I love working with Ceph on our fics so much.

So much so we did it again...

July-August:

I never thought I would be one of those people who writes NSFW IZ fic... But here I am.

The Brainbrane au started.... An au of my au where Membrane and the Computer fall in love and Membrane makes him a body.

This ship was based around the idea where we joked that Membrane and Zim's Computer would have funny interactions if they ever met, under the pretense Membrane thinks Computer is Zim's parent.

Our headcanons morphed and shifted until we just full blown started shipping them.

Just because Membrane and Zim's Computer have overall REALLY entertaining chemistry.

It's a character dynamic never seen in the show or comics (yet) and I imagine thier interactions to be nothing but entertaining banter.

The fic was also born from spite... Making fun of the troupes and cliches that we found personally destestible in some questionable zadr fics.

So an angry ace and a demi-bisexual collab on a porn and end up blessing the fandom with

Compapa headcanons,

Computer being recognized as a more common used fanon character,

The ship of Brainbrane.

The fandom having a crisis of "oh God, not only are we xenophiles we're technophiles too!!!" Or "why you gotta give Zim's Computer an ass"

More android Computer designs

It was an eventful summer.

In the midst of all this, I moved into my new place, got a new job, and I was able to see my friend (who is def my platonic straight soul mate) who lives in Indiana.

She came to visit, showed me how to decorate and how to take care of my body better! Things were looking up! It was great.

September-November:

My job was at a boat store. If was approaching the fall and my hours were being severely cut.

I was getting into a rut of depression again.

I thought things were changing but the same routine I was trying to escape from was the same thing coming back.

But instead of letting it take hold, I decided I was going to do something about it... I was gonna visit a museum and go with my sister. Just... variety stimulation.

Well that didn't happen.

I talked about this shortly in my au itself...but..

My sister had a complete mental breakdown.

She stopped taking her meds, went off the deep end and was in the hospital a total of five times throughout November.

A lot of it was acting out and the perfect storm of environmental factors that made her scream and act out so she would keep going back to the hospital.

It was traumatizing for me.

I just can't explain what it's like. For her and for me to be in that position.

I'm not telling the full story and a lot of bullshit things happened I won't share here.

She got diagnosed with bipolar one and my mom expected me to be a caretaker for her.

I threatened to disown my family and move away out of state.

It was just too much for me to handle.

So much I was a nervous wreck.

I tried to pick up a second job... Cause my sister was in the mental ward so frequently and couldn't pay the bills.

But I was fired within a week cause I was so stressed I couldn't retain the basic information they were training me for.

It was an office job.

My dream.

It could have been.

I was fired from something I really wanted.

I was only there for three days.

I could not retain any information.

I was a mess.

My sister was a trigger, my mom wanted me to live with her. I couldn't live like this.... I had to get out.

I had to get out.

December:

Remember my Indiana friend?

Well the first week of December is my birthday.

My 30th to be exact.

While I did pick up a seasonal position at Target (not my first pick)

I took the first week of December off so I could spend time with her. Cause she agreed, I needed a break from this crap.

Surviving 30 years is cause to celebrate and if I had to celebrate with my sister I would have cried.

I know there was a risk traveling out of state during a pandemic...

But I needed out, I needed a friend..

And I kinda wanted to look at the place since I was considering moving there.

My friend's mom was sick so she avoided me and her daughter and got us a hotel room.

It was fun! I got to swim in a salt water pool, we talked about Naruto, I showed her the iz and su art books I brought, also Computer and Membrane tea.

I also got to meet her other friends and get crunk. And her bf who is super nice and funny!

I had a super fun birthday....

Until her mom told my friend that her grandparents had covid and that was what she had. And my friend got sick within that same day.... As did I.

I owe so much to her family.

I was an entire state away...about a ten hour drive from home.... She let me stay at her house. "The covid house" we called it.

Cause everyone (except the father. He avoided everyone and booked a hotel immediately cus he was an ER doctor) had covid within a day.

I called in, the test results were positive and I had to stay with her family for ten days quarantine before I could work again.

Which would have been fine....

If my tumblr didn't log me out perminately of my old account. @dana-chan325 .... Which really sucked cause I had a constant headache and was too sick to engage with tumblr or much of the fandom. I didn't want to make a new account when my head was in a bad fog and I could barely breathe or smell.

It's not like I saw much of my friend either.... We all slept at different hours and she had more symptoms then I did.

It was just netflix, danganronpa v3 and cry.

I was miserable, but at the same time.... Not?

I really feel like God himself was the one who pulled me off from tumblr, and my living situation.

Maybe a whole extra week feeling like a bobblehead was what I needed.

It gave me some much needed clarity on my relationships with my mom and sis and friend.

Running away to Indiana was not the solution here.

Once I was better within ten days and no longer had a leave of absence, I drove home.

I am glad I fully recovered (but from how I understand it, my dear friend is still ill. I'm praying for her)

I might have gone to work a bit too soon, cause I had an asthma attack after trying to unload a single cart in the span of six hours.

My boss lectured that my speed was unacceptable, and even though I explained the covid situation and breathing problems many times, she threatened that I'd be fired if I'm that slow again.

Que the next few days of work where they put me on register.

Instantly I was sent into a panic remembering the last time I was on the register and how that panic attack caused me to quit.

I even asked if I could go back to stocking, since my breathing had improved. My boss assured me that I was put on the register cause they needed help and nothing to do with my covid thing.

Then as December concluded and the new year began, my boss said that this was the last shift for me cause my position was seasonal and they were letting a lot of people go.

I then asked why I was on the schedule for Sunday, and he told me to ignore it and I'm free to reapply for full-time.

I mean.... They can act smart about it...

But putting your general merchandise stocker onto register after she had an asthma attack and missed working the first two weeks of December due to covid.....

Not a good look.

So once again, I'm jobless once more.

Will probably continue to live with my sister for awhile.

But I do not feel as if it's a bad thing....

I met so many good people this year....

My friend's family even gave me 500 usd to cover my rent since I couldn't work for a majority of December.

I've seen evil and good from humanity this year. I've seen acts of god, good friends and what my real family means to me as well as friends I consider family.

This year really made me look back at the person in the mirror and say,

"I deserve better."

And actually worked for it this time.

Oh and after Christmas I got a horrible yeast infection that burns over most of my body currently.

Very accurate doodle to the pain I'm in right now.

(seriously my body is a fungus.)

But hey, good news, I respected myself enough to go to the doctor about it!!

So that's progress.

I really hope 2021 holds good things for me.

Thank you to the mooping 10 server for always being there and keeping me sane,

Thank you tumblr for liking my au and everything.

AND A SUPER SPECIAL THANK YOU TO @evartandadam and her family for housing me and my dumb diseased ass. Everyone, she is an angel and I can't express how much she means to me. Please check out her art and buy her stuff on redbubble.

Anyways... Byebye 2020.

I look forward to what I can accomplish for myself this year.

[aowski]

Changing the Narrative

It seems that death is coming at us from all sides these days. Police shootings, mass shootings, road-rage shootings, COVID deaths, and the execution spree of the last administration.  

What most of us know about the death penalty in America, we probably gleaned from movies like “The Green Mile”. In our minds, we confine it geographically and historically to the old South. I propose that it encompasses more of our lives than we care to admit. We just don’t see it and recognize it as such. The sentence of death hangs over all of us. We’ve become numb to all the ways this is true, especially if it doesn’t directly affect us or our demographic today. But executions are happening daily in this country. It might help if these executions were categorized:

Judicial Execution - Death administered by the State, as a punishment for a capitol crime, usually for being too poor to afford a proper defense.

Civil Execution - Death administered by law enforcement as punishment for  no reason at all except being a poor person of color. 

Stochastic Execution - Death administered randomly in a public place by another person by reason of their own uncontrolled rage and easy access to military-grade firearms.

Domestic Execution - Death administered by a significant other, usually an aggrieved spouse or lover. Again rage combined with easy access to firearms. May result in stochastic execution of others.

Policy Execution - Death administered by state austerity that neglects human well-being. Reverend Barber’s “Policy Violence”.

Economic Execution - Death administered by poverty. Holes in the social safety net coupled with grievous inequality depriving people of access to food, water, shelter, and healthcare.

Environmental Execution - Death by industrial pollution, its toxic effects on food, water, or air, and climate change.

Epidemiological Execution - Death by a communicable virus that spreads like wildfire because of government negligence,  politicization, assertion of personal freedom, and utter disregard for the well-being of others.

Self Execution - Death caused by our own hand. More than the act itself. The culmination of untreated depression, bi-polar illness, or hopelessness, i.e. the psychic death that precedes it.

Taken together, the result is...

Actuarial Execution - The reduced lifespan resulting from living in the United States. With a life expectancy of 78.5 years (per a WHO 2019 report), we have fallen to 40th among the world's nations in life expectancy! These are Life-years stolen! How did we get here? What is it about America that has made 39 others countries a better place, a place to live longer?

We have accepted a "culture of death", a phrase coined by Pope John Paul II. The Psalmist called it “the Shadow of Death”. In this country, the culture of death began with genocide of the indigenous, but gained an enduring foothold with slavery.

Slavery was the foundation of the economy at our country’s inception and was well-represented at the Constitutional Convention: 

Let us consider the first fifty years of our national history. There was never a moment during this time when the slavery issue was not a sleeping serpent. That issue lay coiled up under the table during the deliberations of the Constitutional Convention in 1787.— John Jay Chapman

Much of our Constitution was an agreement made by compromising with slave-holding states and interests. The most notorious artifact was the “three-fifths” clause which counted slaves as 3/5 of a human being for the purpose of apportionment, thus giving the slave-holding states disproportionate representation. The Second Amendment is another concession to the interests of slavery. By the time of the Convention, “Slave Patrols” were well established in the South. There was concern that Article 1, Section 8, giving Congress the power to form and finance armies could gain control of state militias. Virginia would not ratify the Constitution unless the Second Amendment was included. 

The cohesion (and fragmentation) within our society is based on identity. Too often this identity is not based so much on common interests, but on caste.

Identity is not who we define ourselves to be, but who we define ourselves to not be. More to the point, we understand ourselves to be in a hierarchy, so we define ourselves by who we are above. 

They have had to believe for many years, and for innumerable reasons, that black men are inferior to white men. Many of them, indeed, know better, but, as you will discover, people find it very difficult to act on what they know. To act is to be committed, and to be committed is to be in danger. In this case, the danger, in the minds of most white Americans, is the loss of their identity.—James Baldwin

"If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." —Lyndon B. Johnson

It is a human failing that we need a scapegoat to blame others for our shortcomings and vulnerabilities. White people impugn our shadow on Black people and other minority groups. Everything White America refuses to believe about itself, hates about itself, is projected onto people of color.

The white man's unadmitted and apparently, to him, unspeakable-private fears and longings are projected onto the Negro. —James Baldwin

Of all the things we want to push away from ourselves, the certainty of our death is chief among them. Yet...

Mortality the reality that we are most adept at denying. 

Perhaps the whole root of our trouble, the human trouble, is that we will sacrifice all the beauty of our lives, will imprison ourselves in totems, taboos, crosses, blood sacrifices, steeples, mosques, races, armies, flags, nations, in order to deny the fact of death, which is the only fact we have.

—James Baldwin

And, again, White America, finds it convenient to avoid  the reality of death by projecting it on others:

White Americans do not believe in death, and this is why the darkness of my skin so intimidates them.  

—James Baldwin

Is this is why White America has been so indifferent to the suffering and death of Black Americans? Per CDC data, life expectancy for Black Americans is approximately five years less than the population as a whole. Indifference may not be imputation, but it does translate into the lack of political will to change things.

Racism is the Poison. Although inequality disproportionately affects people of color, all working and middle-class people are struggling to survive. Compared against other wealthy Western nations, America’s systemic ills are dragging us all down into the shadows of death. 

...racism is a poison first consumed by its concocters. What's clearer now in our time of growing inequality is that the economic benefit of the racial bargain is shrinking for all but the richest. The logic that launched the zero-sum paradigm-I will profit at your expense-is no longer sparing millions of white Americans from the degradations of American economic life as people of color have always known it.

—Heather McGhee (The Sum of Us)

Solidarity is the alternative and people are waking up to it:

Everywhere I went, I found that the people who had replaced the zero sum with a new formula of cross-racial solidarity had found the key to unlocking what I began to call a "Solidarity Dividend," from higher wages to cleaner air, made possible through collective action. And the benefits weren't only external. I didn't set out to write about the moral costs of racism, but they kept showing themselves. There is a psychic and emotional cost to the tightrope white people walk, clutching their identity as good people when all around them is suffering they don't know how to stop, but that is done, it seems, in their name and for their benefit. The forces of division seek to harden this guilt into racial resentment, but I met people who had been liberated by facing the truth and working toward racial healing in their communities.

—Heather McGhee (The Sum of Us)

A New Way, a way of life, a way of economic security is possible, but only if we seize the moment we are in. A moment of crisis is also a moment of opportunity. As we come out of a once-in-a-lifetime crisis, more people are facing the bankruptcy of 40 years of trickle-down Reaganomics.

Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced —James Baldwin

The politics and messaging of racial scapegoating is deeply embedded in the American psyche. Race-baiting and fear are the tools used against solidarity. The answer is a new story, a race-class narrative. 

If we lead with a shared value, that means race and class, for example, ‘Whatever your race, gender, or religion, most of us work hard for our families. Every child, regardless of where they come from, deserves a chance to pursue their dreams.’ Reminding us of our common humanity (that’s a good place to start) and then saying that racial scapegoating is a weapon that economically harms all of us. You’re actually putting a shot in your listeners’ arm, inoculating them, so the next time they hear that racial scapegoating, they have antibodies for it. —Heather McGhee

This is the pivotal moment we find ourselves in. Our choices are to continue with the old story of racism, division, and death or to embrace a new story, a story of solidarity and an abundance. This can happen when we realize we are more than "The Sum of Us" (McGhee).

[kookieskiwi]

Badboy!au with the quote "Yeah, well i shut everyone out. Don't take it personally." with a bit of angst pwease 🥺🥺 but a lot of fluff hihi i'm sorry i asked for a lot 🥺🥺🥺 i wub u ✨

(I love it when people ask for a lot because it gives me more to go off of ❤️ and I wuv you too!!) (I changed the I to we since I write poly stuff and no member was specified )

-

You had one of the most amazing personalities anyone had ever seen. You were always caring, you put others before yourself and you gave second chances to everyone; even those that didn’t deserve it. That character trait of yours always got you into situations that had you blaming yourself for stupidity and too much kindness. Prehaps it wasn’t stupidity but it was the fact you saw the good in everyone rather than focusing on their personas and negative traits.

Some people called you näive, others called you gullible, you’d been called just about everything since you began high school. It was normal; there would be people who hated you, loved you and those that took advantage of you. You were accepting to everyone, you helped tutor those who needed it and you gave up your free time and time to do your own work in order to guide those who asked for help through the phone in order to be discreet.

It wasn’t until you met the Bangtan boys that you realized just how much people relied on you for help. They first came to you a year ago when finals begun to ask for help which basically involved you suming up an entire years worth of material in a week. It wasn’t easy since you had your own to study for at the same time but it also counted as a review guide for yourself. Since then they’ve come to you in secret or you’d go over to their shared house to help one or all of them review a topic.

Over the past few months you and the infamous bad boys had grown close meaning what had previously been school related meetings became a friendship with meet-ups that didn’t involve school at all. They became some of the closest friends you had in a long time giving you a sense of connection you didn’t know you needed.

That was however until you overheard one of their conversations as you were on your way to your vehicle. “She’s too close, we let her in and allowed this to go on for too long.” It was Namjoon speaking as he informed the others of their mistake. “But hyung, she hasn’t done anything to make us question her intentions,” Jungkook defended you in your absence which you were grateful for. It physically pained you to hear what they were thinking of you. It was one of those moments where you could actually feel your heart tearing apart as tears welled in your eyes. “Exactly and we aren’t sticking around to find out what they are.” Yoongi chimed in with Namjoon, defending the man who wanted you out of the picture.

You stood there leaning lifelessly against the wall contemplating whether or not to make a run for your vehicle. That option seemed like the best one to choose until you were too late. Apparently they had finished up their conversation and were exiting the classroom only to be met with you; the person who had shown them nothing but compassion and helped them. The soul who was once positive now felt that fullest depth of betrayal you had ever felt before.

“Y/n-“

“No.” You snapped as you returned from your lifeless state to look through blurry eyes at the men who stood before you. “I will not let myself be spoken about behind my back by people who I’ve shown nothing but kindness towards. I have no ill intentions with anyone of you unless wanting to be friends is such a terrible thing. I’ve done NOTHING but be help you when you needed it, not to mention I was the only one who took you all seriously because of the face you put up. So no. Don’t explain because I heard everything you had to say.” You told them trying to hold your composure together until you got home. You would not show weakness now more than ever, sure the tears showed it pretty well but you wanted to scream and yell at their ignorance.

Without another word you walked out of the hallway and entered your car followed by a slam of the door shut before you exited the campus. On the way to the condo which your guardians bought so you had a safe place to stay while getting an education, you broke down completely. It hurt more than you thought it would, of course you were stupid to catch a slight case of feelings for seven different guys who happened to be dating each other (a secret you came you find out when you got closer to them, they made sure no one on the outside knew) but that didn’t stop your battered heart from skipping a beat every time they smiled or laughed.

When you did arrive home you went to unlock the door with shaky hands and after multiple times of missing the keyhole you finally unlocked it. Dropping your bags you shut and locked the door behind you, taking a second before sliding down it in utter distress.

-

The next day you skipped classes all together; something you rarely did unless you were ill even then, that was only because you didn’t want to get anyone else sick. You had a headache from crying all night, your nose was stuffy, eyes puffy and red and to sum it all up: you felt like shit.

You spent the day moping around at the loss of a friendship. When classes let out you weren’t expecting anything from the boys however you received a text message stating one simple thing.

Taehyungie: Come over please.

There were no emojis, no use of a nickname....nothing, which must’ve meant this was important. So, against your minds wishes your heart dragged you to their home with heavy feet. You looked horrible and felt it too, but here you were yet again, putting others before yourself.

You didn’t even have to knock before the door was flying open followed by both Jimin and Jungkook hugging you tightly as you just stood there too tired mentally to do anything back. You were confused and they could tell so they backed off allowing you inside. You were guided to the couch where you sat hugging the arm trying to be as far away from any of them.

“Y/n, please let us explain.” Jin began hoping for you to look up at any of them but you kept your tired eyes locked on the empty space in front of you. “We have a reputation we must keep up, we can’t seem weak or things will be different for all of us.” Hoseok stated in an easy tone trying to stay calm even though he had the urge to run up to you and hug you. “Letting people in isn’t weak, it’s called being human.” You argued in a monotone still not looking anyone in the eyes.

“Yeah, well we shut everyone out. Don’t take it personally.” Yoongi spoke defensively making you absentmindedly flinch at the harsh tone in his voice. “How am I not supposed to take it personally!? You have no reason to shut me out and I’ve given you every reason to let me in!” You begun standing up and finally looking at the men who wore shocked expressions at your tone. “I don’t know what any of you have been through but I promise you this isn’t the way to live your lives. Let me in, let me show you not everyone has bad intentions with you. Let ME be the one to change your mindset. Because damnit I’m tired of being thrown out when I do nothing but help.” Your voice wavered at the end of your sentence making you curse yourself.

“Let me in because I’ve shown everything I am to you.” You whispered as a single tear rolled down your cheek but you were quick to swipe it away. “Let me in because I love you all.”

“You what-“ Jimin gasped standing up in surprise as did the others. “I know- I know it’s stupid and you’ll probably think it’s a schoolgirl crush, b-but over the past few months when I’ve gotten to know you for you and not the bad boys everyone else knows you as...I fell. Fast and hard. Which is why I’ve been so upset over what you said because I KNOW you will be fine without me, I KNOW you can move on and shut people out like you do but I don’t want to be shut out like everyone else.” You explained giving up at wiping the tears which just kept falling at this point. It was hard admitting your feelings especially at this time but this was either the making or breaking point if everything so why not?

“If it wasn’t for you, we’d be so lost right now y/n.” Namjoon begun taking one step towards you as you remained still. “We’ve all been thinking about you a lot lately.” Yoongi stated from beside you where you didn’t know he was until then. “You are a wonderful person, never forget that.” Taehyung said making you think this was goodbye. “You deserve someone who values you.” Jin whispered softly behind you as more tears filled your eyes. This couldn’t be it, not goodbye. “Someone who will kiss away all of your pain and scars.” Jungkook said stepping forward as well. “You know the hardest part about finding someone you love but being apart even though you have six others? It’s the endless nights awake knowing that the missing piece that completes us is right in front of us but we are too afraid to take that leap of faith fearing that we’ll be rejected.” Jimin stated grasping onto Yoongi’s hand to squeeze it. “Y/n, we’ve made a complete fool of ourselves that past day because we aren’t the people who we want to be. We are so sorry little one, so sorry and no amount of verbal apologies will show it until our actions change.” Hoseok said motioning to the other men who were gazing at you with something you couldn’t identify.

Your mind was going a million miles an hour at this point. Why where they saying this? Surely they couldn’t mean you...could they?

“You deserve someone who will treat you with the most respect, give you all the love and happiness you deserve and protect your kind heart. If you’ll let us, we’d like to be those men.” Taehyung said grabbing your hands which had been fiddling with the hem of your sweater. You looked at them with the most innocent, pure eyes they had ever seen, you were in total shock at what they had asked. When it sunk it you chocked on a sob. This wasn’t goodbye, it wouldn’t be the end.

“Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.” You said in a mix of laughter and sobs before running into Taehyung’s chest to wrap your arms around him tightly. The others followed your suit as you all began to express the feelings you had kept up for so long.

-

“‘Us’ I like the sound of that, don’t you?” You said as you laid cuddled into Yoongi’s chest while everyone was spread amongst the couches. You weren’t aware of what had slipped off your tongue until Yoongi was putting his hand over his heart saying ‘Ahh too cute’ while squeezing his eyes closed.

“I love the sound of us.”

-

As always..any further ideas or chapters you want from a Drabble can be requested and I’ll more than happily do them! Part 2 or another Drabble with a quote relating to this one if requested!! With bunches of love -Kiwi (KookiesKiwi)

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

The Trials of Emi

Pairing: A little Minho. A sprinkle of Frypan. Gally x Emi(OC)

Summary: Emi, her twin brother Thomas, and a small group of gladers had been rescued and taken to a safe haven. Or so it seemed. It doesn't take long for Thomas to realize something is wrong. What happens next is a true trial for all of them but Emi's trials began the moment she was ripped away from a dying Gally. Watching someone you love die right before your eyes truly takes a toll.

Finally meeting the right arm could have been the end but betrayal leads to even more chaos and loss. A new mission to rescue those taken from them leads them to a city. The last city. After Emi finally comes to terms with everything that's happened something unfolds that changes everything again. She will have to not only deal with helping her brother take down WCKD and save their friend but also deal with all the new problems in her head and her heart.

Rating: As of right now it’s at most PG13. Some strong language that’s about it but it could change.

(This is the 2nd part/book to my other story "The Maze trials: A Gally Fanfiction". This will cover the events of the scorch trails and the death cure.)

Chapter Six

"Get up!" A raspy voice Thomas tried to shout.

His voice still woke most of us up. He was staggering to get to his feet. He started shouting louder waking the rest of us up. We were all back on our feet in no time wondering what was going on now.

"I see something," Thomas said pointing in the distance.

I followed his finger. I could see the twinkling lights like a small town or settlement in the distance.

A loud crack of thunder had us turning around. A huge storm was rolling towards us quickly. Lightning was striking the ground all around us. We ran as fast as we could towards the lights. They were getting closer and closer but so was the lightening. One good strike hit the ground only a few feet from me.

"Get inside!" Thomas shouted as we reached a building.

I stayed back close to Thomas making sure the others were getting inside. I turned to yell at Minho to pick up the pace when a rather large bolt came down striking a nearby car then bouncing off and hitting Minho. He flew into the air then landed on the ground with a loud thud. Thomas was too close as well. He was thrown a few feet from the force of it.

"Minho! Thomas!" I shouted running over to them.

Thomas looked disoriented but was getting back to his feet. Minho on the other hand was lying motionless with a bit of smoke coming off his body. I grabbed him with my good arm as Thomas got to his feet. The others came out helping me pick him up and carry him inside out of the storm. We laid him down on the ground.

"Minho!" Thomas shouted in his face.

I pushed Thomas out of the way so I could look at the boy. A small smirk played at my face as I had a wonderful thought. I pulled my arm back then slapped him across the face as hard as I could. Minho seemed to jump awake but didn't open his eyes. He groaned in pain making everyone sigh in relief. When he did open his eyes he looked straight up at me.

"What happened?" He asked looking dizzy.

"You got struck by lightning," Thomas told him.

"Then Emi slapped the piss out of you," Newt added with a chuckle.

We helped him sit up making sure he was actually ok. As much as I hate to admit it I was glad he was ok. I couldn't stand to see another one of us die. Even Minho. It didn't take long to get him back to his feet like he was good as new.

"What's that smell?" Teresa asked from a few feet away.

I watched her pull out her flashlight and turn it on. The moment she did I about pissed myself. One of those things was right in front of her! It reached out barely missing her face. We all screamed falling backward. A quick look around showed us there were many of them and they were all chained up unable to move but a few inches.

"I see you've met our guard dogs." A female voice spoke as a light on the other side of the room came on.

What now? What the hell is this place? I think I want to go back to the Glade now. Can I just wake up in my old room in the homestead with Gally beside me like all this was just some insane horrible nightmare?

The girl started walking towards us down a clear path between those messed up people. She stopped a few steps from us.

"Stay back" Thomas ordered her.

She smirked at him.

"You guys look like shit. Come on. Follow me. Unless you want to stay here with them." She said glancing around the room.

We followed behind her quickly leaving that room behind. She opened a door that led into an open warehouse looking building. People were all over the place. Whatever they were doing or saying stopped as we passed by.

"Come on keep up. Jorge wants to meet you." She said back to us.

"Who's Jorge?" Thomas asked.

I noticed rough looking people filling the group behind us as we walked. I suddenly had a bad feeling. Something isn't right.

"You'll see. No ones came out of the scorch in a long time. You just got him curious." She shrugged glancing back at Thomas.

"Me too" she added.

"I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this place," Newt whispered from behind me.

"Let's just hear him out and see what he has to say," Thomas whispered back to us.

We followed the girl up some stairs and into a loft type room. An older man was standing with his back to us. It looked and sounded like he was messing with a radio.

"Jorge, they're here." The girl said.

"Shh, shh, shh" he said quickly as a voice barely came through the speaker.

He rushed around trying to find something. The voices broke off losing signal. He tried messing with it again with no luck.

"Damn" he muttered.

He slammed a few things down then turned to face us. He looked the group over for a moment before speaking.

"You ever feel like the whole world is against you?" He asked us.

We all exchanged confused glances. I knew I wasn't exactly sure what the man was getting at but I did have the feeling the world was against us. The man walked forward as he continued.

"Three questions" he picked up a glass and pitcher.

"Where did you come from?" He held the glass up like he was inspecting it.

"Where are you going?" He poured the liquid in the pitcher into his cup.

"How can I profit?" He looked at us clearly meaning every word.

No one answered. We all just stared at him. I don't think we really knew where we were going. We couldn't answer any of those questions. Well aside from the first one but I don't think telling him we are on the run from W.C.K.D. was a good idea. The man glanced at each of us with a scowl.

"Don't all answer at once." He said sarcastically.

"We're heading for the mountains. Looking for the Right Arm." Thomas said taking a small step forward.

The group of people around us cackled menacingly. Jorge smiled and chuckled.

"You're looking for ghost you mean." He took a drink from his glass.

"Question number two." He said as he walked forward to stand in front of Thomas.

"Where did you come from?" He asked stopping in front of my brother.

Thomas and Minho shared a look.

"That's our business," Minho said.

Jorge looked at him for a second then slightly nodded his head. Two men grabbed Thomas and Minho as others grabbed the rest of us.

"Get the hell off me!" Thomas shouted as he struggled.

He was thrown to his knees as the girl who showed us in stepped over to him with some kind of device in her hand.

"Shut up you big baby." The girl said as she moved to do something to the back of his neck.

The device made a faint beeping sound then she stepped away from Thomas towards Jorge.

"You were right" she said handing the device to the older man.

He put glasses on his face then took the device. He stared down at it for a moment.

"Right about what? What is she talking about?" Thomas asked.

Jorge chuckled as he took the glasses off.

"I'm sorry Hermano, looks like you're tagged. You came from W.C.K.D. Which means, you're very valuable." He looked at us with an icy stare.

I gulped feeling a sudden panic rise in my chest. Each of us was grabbed again this time we were drug out of the room. I didn't get a chance to see where we were going because a sudden pain ripped threw my skull as everything went dark.

I woke up hanging upside down. A rope was tied around my ankles just like the others. We all hang in a circle over a large hole.

"This is great" I muttered.

"Good plan Thomas. Let's hear what the man has to say. Really working out for us." Minho droned sarcastically.

"Shut up Minho" Thomas muttered.

"Maybe I can reach the rope," Thomas said.

I heard him grunt as he was no doubt trying to lift himself up to grab the rope around his ankles. I was hanging with my back to him barely rotating around.

"Enjoying the view?" Jorge asked from the darkness.

He stepped out so we could see him.

"The hell do you want?" Thomas asked him.

"That is the question." He said pointing his cane at Thomas.

"My men want to sell you back to W.C.K.D. Life has taught them to think small. I'm not like that. Something tells me that you're not either." Jorge spoke to Thomas.

"Is the blood rushing to my head or is this shank not making any sense?" Minho asked aloud.

Jorge moved so he could look at Minho. He sneered at him then turned back to Thomas. He lifted his cane to point at him.

"Tell me what you know about the Right Arm." He ordered.

"You said they were ghosts," Newt said.

"I happen to believe in ghosts. Especially when I hear them chattering on the airwaves." He said in a creepy voice.

He moved to stand by the lever that held each of us in place. He placed his hand on it as he looked at Thomas.

"You tell me what you know and maybe we can make a deal." He said as his face looked completely blank.

Silence passed. No one said anything at first.

"We- we don't know much," Thomas said simply.

Jorge hit the lever then we all fell a few feet before jerking back. Each of us let out our own startled cry.

"Ok, ok, alright. They're hiding in the mountains and they attacked W.C.K.D got out a bunch of kids. That's it that's all we know." Thomas said quickly moving his arms as he spoke.

Jorge stared at him for a moment. He stepped forward opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by one of his men saying his name. The man walked into the room glancing between us and Jorge.

"What's going on?" He asked putting his hands on his hips.

"Me and my new friends were just getting acquainted. We're done now." Jorge said nonchalantly.

"Hey, wait, you're not gonna help us?" Thomas asked.

"Don't worry Hermano. We'll get you back where you belong." Jorge smiled then turned his back and walked away.

"Hang tight" he added then left the room.

"Seriously?" I questioned aloud in annoyance.

"What now?" Fry asked.

I glanced around the best I could. I had Next on one side of me and Minho on the other. Next to Minho was Teresa.

"I have an idea," Teresa said suddenly.

"What?" Thomas asked.

"I'm smaller you guys can push me over to the lever and I can let us down." She explained quickly.

Everyone nodded. It was the only plan we had right now. I wouldn’t be any help due to my injury. Fry and Minho were beside Teresa so they made their bodies swing back and forth until they could reach her. Once they could touch her they started pushing her like she was on a swing. They were trying to build up the momentum. Thomas grabbed her once she was far enough to help get her over. It took several minutes and every hand we had to get her over to the lever. She missed the first time but grabbed it the second time. She pulled the ropes off herself then worked on getting the rest of us down.

—

[beelsfeels]

A profile of my Obey Me OC, Shoshi! (Pronounced like Yoshi)

Picrew 1 Picrew 2

Name: Shoshi (short for Shoshana)

Age: 27

Pronouns: She/They

Sexuality: Bi

Height: 5′6″

Background: raised Jewish, got into Jewish Mysticism as an adult, began worshiping Lilith, and has Lilith's sigil tattooed beneath her bellybutton. She feels VERY awkward about it in the House of Lamentation.

Random HC: Namaah exists at RAD and is a totally hottie BAMF that Shoshi has a Huge Gay Crush on, to the point she can't really form cohesive thoughts around her, a fact that Satan and Asmodeus love to team up and exploit for the LOLs.

Summary: Horny-For-Yall Death-Wish with Crippling Anxiety. Copes with humor and memes. The ultimate self-insert.

Relationships with the brothers:

Lucifer:

- Shoshi and Lucy have a very complex relationship, she both admires and is intimidated by the eldest.

- Shoshi is a huge brat and it gets her in trouble a LOT with Lucifer. He goes easy on her though, which is good because her anxiety skyrockets when this man get That Look™️ when anyone is acting up.

- When Lucifer tried to intimidate her at Diavolo's weekend retreat while dancing, Shoshi straight up cussed him out and stormed off to the balcony to angry cry.

- Eventually had an argument so heated she wasn't sure if she was about to be murdered or have the best sex of her life.

- it was the latter

- they started casually dating after that, and Shoshi would often stay up late with Lucifer to keep him company while he does paperwork.

- Lucifer is very protective of her, and often walks her to each of her classes, a hand on her lower back. This draws many stares from the other students and becomes harder for her to make friends outside of the HoL.

- HC that Lucifer teaches one of her classes and she can NOT pay attention which earns her lots of after class "punishments"

- listen up, Morningstar

- "What did you just call me?"

- ::books it at high velocity towards wherever Diavolo is::

Mammon:

- Shoshi is his Ride or Die (Ride AND die more like) best friend.

- will destroy anyone who talks crap on the 2nd eldest.

- maybe a tiny human but WILL throw hands for his honor

- always ends in Mammon having to save her which is counterintuitive

- they share one (1) braincell when they are together and it's full of the literal worst ideas.

- snuggle buddies, Mammon won't admit he likes her out loud but will end up in her room Every Night that Lucifer hasn't already sanctioned her time.

- Jealous of her relationships with every other brother, but will tolerated a three way spoon with Beel since he's a walking teddy bear.

- "after this hare brained scheme we will have enough money to buy you a bigger bed"

- they never do

- invented a silent eye contact language for when Lucifer is lecturing them for hours about how irresponsible they have been.

Leviathan

-Leviachan! ::Jump hugs him::

-"Shoshi!! You can't just hug me without warning!"

-Levi is always having a heart attack around Shoshi either because she's flirting with him or she's absolutely crushing him at video games

-Shoshi would literally die for this boy, is absolutely in love with this Otaku king.

-she thinks it is unrequited until one night she's crushing him too hard at Mario Kart and he finds ways to... Distract her.

-Shoshi will protect Levi at all costs and he REALLY doesn't need her to, why does this human think she can take on everyone she's so bad at fighting.

-what that tail do?

-"please stop asking me that"

Satan

-fast burn enemies to lovers

-Satan does not appriciate Shoshi's humor, as it relates to him.

-"Shosh, do you want to study together tonight?"

-Not Today, Satan

-"Shoshi I brought you your homework"

-Hail Satan!

-Turns into her closest confidant

-lots of book reading, philosophical conversations, and wine nights

-Got Satan to join her in her morning yoga rituals to help with his wrath problem

-Loves going on dates with Satan, he's so upfront and honest, though not as affectionate as she would like

-she respects his personal space

-he lectures her on her "death wish" for all the times she says "fight me" unless it's to Lucifer then he buys her a new book or hands her a kitten he happened to have on hand.

-cat memes back and forth 24/7

-Her actual "first demon" 😉

-"You little brat" (that is a threat)

-she loves it

Asmodeus

- gossip girls

- weekly bath night, bubble bath, face masks, painting each other's nails

- Asmo gives her all the latest DevilDom gossip, and even when it's about people she doesn't know at all she will still chug that tea

- casual nakedness, don't pop into one of their hangouts if you're not ready for an eyeful

- Satan learned that the hard way

- Beel also did, but didn't mind as much

- has to literally put a ward on the door to keep Mammon from busting into Asmos room and dragging Shoshi out

- "no older brothers allowed" sign on the door.

- sneaks out to go clubbing, Shoshi doesn't drink much but she LOVES to dance

- "describe Lucifers abs to me, do not leave out any details"

- ASmo No! i don't want to die over some glorious abs!

- "excuse you, what would be a better way to die than that??"

- also has a secret language for when Lucifer lectures them, but it involves mostly puppy dog eyes and trying to guilt Lucifer into forgiving them

- has never worked once

Beel

- the most dramatic friendship 180 in the history of the DevilDom

- Shoshi thought he was an anger issues Jock who punches walls and threatens to eat her

- Well cannibal serial killers have stated on record that humans with tattoos don't taste that good so you probably shouldn't eat me

- can't believe that worked

- staying in his room after the kitchen incident and cuddling with him in bed, talking about the loss of their sisters, and how important family was, she realizes he was a soft boi that needed protected

- that night beel became her second demon 😉

- Shoshi loves cooking, so they cook together a lot, helping each other when they're in charge of meals

- Shoshi starts a vegetable and fruit garden outside the house of lamentation, teaching Beel how to grow food, which he takes to very well (after a few casualties of fully eaten tomato plants)

- this significantly helps the fridge situation at HoL, which all are grateful for

- the fridge checks, while occaisionally sexy, mostly actually involve Shoshi jumping at Beel to see if he will catch her (Brooklyn 99 gag style)

- "Beels what's your T-Shirt made of? Cause it feels like husband material"

- "oh, I think it's a demon cotton blend"

- I love you, my sweet Himbo.

Belphie

-Belphi take me to Majolish

-"No, I'm tired."

-Remember that one time you literally killed me

-"okay I'll be there in 5"

-Shoshi is the only one who could possibly out nap Belphie

-Beel/Belphie/ Shoshi cuddle puddles and snack nights.

-rarely hangs out with him alone because he did, in fact, murder her once

-They leave each other super soft pillows without notes or any context and it has turned into a rivalry to find the BEST pillow. Winner gets bragging and napping rights.

BONUS:

Diavolo

- You're my Dad! Boogie woogie woogie

- teaches him all the latest memes and dances

- No fear for this man, which disturbs and upsets pretty much everyone.

- one time Lucifer asked Shoshi to Please Stop asking the Prince of Demons for piggy back rides

- Shoshi told on Lucifer and in fact got MORE piggy back rides.

- They have Lucifer Imitation contests where they just say "Don't Dissapoint Diavolo" back and forth till one of them cracks up.

- Did not anticipate any sexy business with this Goliath Friend, but caught Luci and him smooching one time and one thing lead to another...

- Did not change their friendship at all, the Two Most Immature People In The Entire DevilDom

Solomon

- ::stranger danger siren goes off::

- I don't trust you Wizard boy

- Asmo said you can have a little rights, but you're on thin fucking Ice mister

- oh you got 72 demons? It'd be cooler if they were cats and dogs.

- only teams up with him for kareoke nights and other human themed activities because no one else understands

Things Shoshi has said without context:

"Why does everyone in this house have bigger titties than me"

"Lucifer took his gloves off and I almost passed out"

"I'm from the United States of America in the year of our Lord 2020, you can not scare me"

"It really do be YEET or be YEETED in this house, huh?"

"Mammon if you even look at that cat wrong I will round house kick you into the next century and claim my rightful place as second oldest"

[deafchild2000]

AU H2O Friendship: Charlotte and Bella

(I don't want any crap about this alone. Free Speech can be practiced but no hate!)

If I had to think of a friendship from H2O that I'd like to have seen, it would be between Charlotte Watsford and Bella Hartley.

(Yes, I am aware that for this to happen, Charlotte had to have stuck around and still be a mermaid for Bella to approach her, but this is an AU of itself!)

So why? Excellent question because at first, one would think they would be as opposite as Rikki and Emma were. But at second glance, if you dig deeper (and deploy better writing and character development), their friendship makes a lot of sense.

For starters, the two would have been their own separate group from the girls, power-wise:

Charlotte has the main 3: Freezing, Boiling and Manipulating/Creating water from an already existing source. Or in layman's terms, Charlotte can manipulate water in its 3 states of matter -Heat being Gas and Solid being Ice.

Bella's powers aren't in a matter of states, but thickness. Realistically, Bella has Viscosity Manipulation:

"The resistance of fluids to a change shape, influencing spraying, injection molding, and surface coating. In everyday terms (and for fluids only), viscosity is "thickness" or "internal friction", thus, water is "thin", having a lower viscosity, while honey is "thick", having a higher viscosity. Put simply, the less viscous the fluid is, the greater its ease of movement (fluidity). The user could make water thicker, making it harder for sea-life to survive or have honey pour out like water by making it thinner. " (from Superpower Wiki)

Therefore, Bella's powers allow her to make any liquid thick in anyway - thick enough to an ooz-like substance, hard enough to walk on, or causing it to explode (or attack).

So, in the best phrasing, both girls have their own sets of powers. And surprisingly, could use them in combinations if they wanted to: constructing paths while avoiding getting wet, creating attacks, creating items from molding and hardening, diversions and escapes to avoid exposure.... Basically, more than we ever saw on the show. And because their powers are so alike and different, it would avoid jealousy between them (especially on Charlotte's part, since she wouldn't feel like she had to compete).

Next, the friendship itself. What would it be like? Bella is mostly seen and notedly described as Bubbly, Caring and Attractive, but with her Status, she's doesn't let anyone get to close to her. In canon, it was Cleo and Rikki's - reckless - use of their powers that caught her attention, leading one to think she thought she was alone. Charlotte is Honest, Humorous (in her own way), and Strong-Willed. However, she is prone to Jealousy and Insensitivity, especially when feeling threatened or stressed.

As canon, we obviously saw Charlotte's worst traits at best and her best traits at worst (bad writing!) and Bella doesn't really stand up much for herself nor let it be known (debatable passive). So as friends, here's how I'd imagine it going down: (For Charlotte) Bella would be able to reach out to Charlotte in her worst moods and calm her down, encourages her to look closely at her actions and the consequences, inspire her immerse herself in her art, implore her to take in to regard of other people's feelings and accept that things won't always go her way/(For Bella) Charlotte would teach her to not be such a Pushover, to raise her voice, to take risks with relationships but call out when said relationships don't seem fair, provide honest opinions where others would rather flatter her, and tell her it's okay to be a little selfish in her life. But the main they both have in common (beside being the "4th" mermaid) is that, regardless of how it came to be, both girls know what it's like to be the outsider and will go out of their way to reassure each other that they're not alone anymore.

Lastly, they would become best friends because, unlike their Mako Mermaid counterparts, the Main Mermaid Trio would never have let them in.

(Y'all gonna think I'm bashing, but on this blog, I'll never be anything BUT honest regarding this!)

Take away the love triangles, legacies, durations and all that, let's tell the truth: Charlotte would have never been welcomed into the group. Not only were they waaayyy too closed off with anybody else aside their group (include boyfriends and exclude families), they had these two rigid yet nostalgic old people where were stuck in the glory days, back when they were young and happier, but disregarded why their group basically broke up (I mean, c'mon! They never even had families! They were still old geezers in the end!). "Only 3 Mermaids" statement only ended up being proven true because the girls (together and on their own) couldn't see past the idea that it didn't need to be "just three", choosing to follow the Past Gen's terrible examples . Max himself was in the wrong too for low-key encouraging Lewis that Cleo would always be the one for him - Basically my logic: If they are meant to last, let it happen on its own. Don't interfere! - and for leading Charlotte to gain and lose her tail, only indulging her because she was Gracie's granddaughter and inadvertly helping her loss only when her bad side became more apparent. Yes, she may be a lot like Gracie , but she has her flaws too. Basically, Season 2 was a mess of misinterpretations, past nalstogia, constant hypocrisy! Charlotte may have been in the wrong, but everyone else constituted to her downfall. Plus, Charlotte was realistic and straightforward on how she felt, having no problem of acting on it (like a certain fiery mermaid y'all like to praise....). Cleo, Rikki (and later Emma) were long ready to dismiss her before they even gave her approval or a chance. A chance they'd never give her, even as a legacy.

(If you by a feel I'm using the same arguments, sorry. As said before, I can't even talk about the second season without ranting!)

Moving forward, lets talk about Bella. For thise who believe they would have let Bella in, even if Emma hadn't left, bless your optimistic hearts. I might have said the same thing, but if the experience with Charlotte was still fresh in the mind, powers and lovers aside, the Ireland-made mermaid was better off if she kept walking when she first appeared. Let's play on the Comet still heading to earth: From 3x01, Bella would try to acknowledge the girls after the guy harassed her, they'd dismiss her. She'd try again at the bar named after Rikki, where they'd do it again until the Water Tentacle takes said mermaid away. Bella still stays to introduce herself, they'd thank her but dismiss her. 3 times would be enough for Bella to believe they'd want to be left alone. Why? Because the girls choose to only stick in 3s and Charlotte is still a fresh wound for them. Lewis might try to get them to befriend her, but they never listen to him anyways unless needed. Bella keeps her distance, the girls are stuck realizing a comet would destroy the world (and regarding the crystals, never wear them.) When comes time, either Emma or Cleo might realize Bella could help, but dismiss it as they'd thing 3 of them are enough to stop it. But Emma's powers can't hold hold the Tower of Light and the world does end. Why? Because they chose to be stuck in their ways and ignore the signs that Bella was meant to be with them for a reason. Yeah, this is all speculation on MY own take of how it would have went, that's beside the point. While it's nice to think Bella would have got a chance, in actuality, the only reason her spot was made was to secure the "Only 3" rule in Emma absence and you can't really deny it. Season 3 was an AU of its own where Bella's introduction all depended on timing and inconvenience on the Rikki and Cleo's part.

That being said, between the two mermaids, the H2O Trio would have never batted an eye at them, not unless they had too. And because of this, Charlotte and Bella would feel it was better to form their own group since they literally would have no one else to accept them.

All together, friendship between Charlotte Watsford and Bella Hartley is one friendship that I would have love to have seen and recognize as it's a friendship formed from loneliness and differences that set them apart from everyone else yet their do very personalities compliment each other and would bring out the best in them. Between their very different sets of powers, traits, interaction with the girls, they just might actually be what the other needed.

[isopale]

Here is my entry for @covered-byroses turning 1 writing challenge!

This is my first time writing anything for others to see, and it kinda got away from me... Had to cut it off where i did for now because it juat kept going and going and going..... And next thing i know wow.

Summary: You have a secret you've kept hidden all this time. Until something kills your husband and threatens to expose everything. Just so happens a couple hunters get more than the case they signed up for.

Pairing: none (yet 😘)

Warnings: character death (vaguely/generally discribed)

A quiet normal life was obviously too much to ask for. The past few years had been a lot of running around from place to place, ducking monsters and hunters. Was there nowhere that didn't have some kind of monster in it? How hard was it really?

The monsters never bothered you, they all seemed to know something was off and to stay away. You don't bother them, they don't bother you, simple as that. But some the hunters that came after them were different, these humans that have made it their duty to protect the clueless ones could be dangerous. Some of them have let the jobs get into their heads, and it's changed them. That's why you always left any town they came to, just to be safe.

Angels and demons on the other hand were absolute nightmares. You had spent more than your fair share with them and fighting them. If an angel was in a town, it was drop everything and run before they see you. Demon, leave before a hunter comes since most demons topside were too young go recognize you.

With all the constant moving, you were alone.

Until you met your (murdered) husband. He was a self proclaimed free spirit. Loved to move from place to place and rarely stayed anywhere for more than a few months. You had been hesitant but eventually warmed up to him and before long married, and fell in love. Since he just sooo happened to show up in the same places as you, he was a risk you wanted to take. He was your guilty pleasure, and his death was your fault.

He never knew what hit him. But obviously some demon went looking for the legend not even your dear old dad believed.

After your husband was murdered, you made it your obsession to find and kill it. Someone was talking and it wasn't going to end well.

You had been looking around and discovered that there was apparently a pack of wolves living in town. Small pack, looks to be exclusively family unit. Mother, father, and 2 girls (possibly nearing their 20s) and a teenage boy.

Of course… never a dull moment.

Not too surprising being in the middle of nowhere texas, but in the weeks you had been watching them they only fed on their livestock.

Which makes other murders in town very strange. What ever was responsible made sure to make it look like a werewolf attack.

…

Sam and Dean had been interviewing the investigators and witnesses all day for these “animal attacks”.

“Sounds like a werewolf Sammy,” Dean said opening a beer from the mini fridge.

“Yeah. Where is it hiding though?” Sam mused leaning back in the ratty bedside chair. “No one i touched was bothered by the silver ring today.”

“Good idea of Bobby's by the way. I might have to go check the local talent with it,” Dean said with a smirk lounging on one of the two small beds in the motel room.

“Dude,”

“oh Lighten up Sammy. I was gonna let you go first this time”

“Do whatever you want. I'm going to bed.” Sam rolled his eyes before moving to the other bed, that was a few inches too short for him “Remember we have to talk to the widows tomorrow so try not to have hooker glitter on you this time.”

“That only happened once.”

…

You didn't like to make a habit of being near hunters but you couldn't leave town now. It had only been a few months since you were married and less than a year since you and your husband had known each other. But that didn't make it hurt any less. It had been so long since you had had someone close to you.

You had visited the wolfs farm, this time to talk instead of spy, this morning before work at the small second hand clothes shop downtown. The Hensen's, you should probably remember their name. They were nice and accommodating once convinced you weren't there to harm them. Josh, the husband, wide and sturdy man was willing and ready to end any threat to his family. (Oh those hunters are going to have fun with this one) Amelia, the mother, tall woman towering over you although extremely soft spoken due to then she was turned her throat had very nearly been ripped out leaving a large angry scar. (You wondered if the big one of the two hunters was taller than her) The girls were twins, Anna and Marie, simple small town girls. And the son, Rich, solid country muscle farm boy.

They had been living there for years, long enough to build up that farm and to have the stock numbers to cover their feeding habits. They always sold or gave away what they didn't need. Most of the town thought they ran a home butcher shop and over the years that's what it turned into. But now with the murders and the hunters in town they were all on high alert.

Those hunters were going around town talking to the other 3 widows. Now you could see them through the store window across the street parking that vintage beauty. Both of them were way too sexy to be whatever government agents they were pretending to be. Sex with your husband (the few times it did happen) was great it was meaningful, but he would rather sleep under the stars or not leave the couch unless absolutely necessary to binge on something. But these two hunters made you think sinful thoughts.

Oh if only boys.

Putting on your customer service voice “Good afternoon gentleman. How can I help you?”

“We're federal agents in town working the recent animal attack cases,” the shorter of the two stated as they flash very nice but very fake FBI badges. “We were wondering if there was a (y/n y/l/n) here.”

“That would be me.” not even trying to remember the names on the ids, they wouldn't be real anyway. “Are you going to find out what happened to my husband?”

“Yes ma'am, we are very sorry for your loss,” now it's the taller ones turn “but we were hoping we could ask you a few questions?”

Giving them a sad smile before turning back to arrange new rack of clothes “Sure but i'm the only one here until closing at 6. You can ask here or wait until then.”

The tall one narrowed his eyes slightly. He seemed to want to say something else.

I don't even know what I'm not supposed to know. Normal people don't think werewolf right?

“How 'bout you meet us at the diner down the street when you get off? You can help us out over a quick bite,” he stepped around the small rolling rack of new clothes to make you look at him.

“Sure,” you try your best to hold back fake tears “I'll be there about 15 after.”

…

Too bad you didn't have time to creep on them before the diner, you have to admit they were nice to look at.

They're waiting in a booth in the back, both on one side with backs against the wall to watch everyone else. The tall one with long hair politely waves his hand when you enter. The shorter one has beautiful green eyes, he stands and helps you into the benchseat across from them. The had already ordered you a coffee and a glass of water.

“Thank you for coming Ms (y/l/n),” says the tall one

“How long were you and your husband living here before he was attacked?” Asks the green eyed hunter

“We only came here about a month ago. We didn't plan on staying, we wanted to travel around the country. You know live on the road,” You say not entirely lying “we just pick somewhere to go and get some small jobs around to hold us over for a bit.”

“Wait you don't live here?” Asked the tall one, he was trying to hide his suspicion with empathy.

Hunters…

“No, I'm still staying in the little motel,” you say “I was going to switch rooms but… i couldn't bring myself to…” you say fake holding back tears, you've shed all the tears you needed. Now you want the thing that killed him to suffer.

“We're sorry.” Says the tall one, his features soften and he gives you a look of genuine sympathy. “Why did you stay? Couldn't you have gone back home?”

“Neither of us have any family anywhere, we’re alone.” Now you hold back real tears, suddenly very interested in that coffee.

Taking a sip you realize why it was there before you were. Holy water. It stings some now when it usually doesn't, but you hold your composure. These two aren't playing around, they legitimately think you're the killer.

When green eyes shifts his hands on the table you notice why he helped you into the seat.

Holy water and silver rings, these two are a lot more interesting than i thought.

You sigh and decide to tell them what they want to know… sort of.

“I'm not the one who killed those people or my husband.” you whisper. They glance at each other and some unspoken thing goes between them but before they can feed you more BS you continue. “It wasn't a werewolf either. I know it looks bad but the bodies should have been more tore up, when has a wolf ever ripped out a heart without leaving any other marks?”

“Ma'am werewolves don't exist. We know traumatic experiences like this ca--” the long haired giant begins but green eyes stops him.

“Sam she knows.” He whispers to him “I guess we can cut the act for you then.” He directs to you this time. “What do you know?”

Mmm like to be incharge do ya not-sam.

“I'll tell you what I know but it's not much, and not here. I'm leaving in the morning,” You say “meet me at the butchers farm outside town in an hour.” You get up to leave not waiting for an answer.

…

After the 15 minute walk back to the motel you enter your room. You spare one last glance at the first bed and your heart clenches. You just need to pack the few clothes you have in your backpack and the essentials and be on your way to the farm. You plan on staying with the wolves until the hunters leave and your mind is too preoccupied with things to take and things to leave you didn't notice the rug was moved. Then you bumped the barrier reaching for the moon necklace your husband had given you. You had been so hurt and angry lately you hadn't been careful enough.

“Told you Sammy.” You heard from the doorway

You had not been pissed before but you were now. Hunters, always shoot first and ask questions after. Between angels, demons, and hunters you couldn't catch a break.

“Why'd you do it? Was he even your husband or just some poor sap that happened to be passing through town at the same time?” Sam asked accusingly

“It's not what you think” you say taking a breath to calm down and try and get out of the circle. But green eyes cuts you off.

“Why do you demons think you can just kill whenever you want and we won't find you,” he opens a small leather book “ now were going to save that poor girl you're wearin--”

“I LOVED HIM! LOOK AROUND YOU IDIOT!” So much for calm. You raise your hand and they both are flung against the headboards. You shut your eyes and take another breath.

You feel the darkness fading and with it the circles hold as you step over the barrier, careful to keep your hold on the men before you. You open your eyes to see them staring wide eyed and speechless. Their eyes locked on yours, you know they see the black they are used to but yours also have the familiar blue-white glow as well.

“What are you?” Sam breathes

Striding to the nightstand between the beds you slowly take your necklace before answering “I WILL find out who killed my husband, with or without your help. You have 20 minutes to be at the butchers now and I'll tell you what i know.” You say firmly making your way to the door making sure to walk through the circle again for them to see.

You spare one last look at them. “You know if i was into being on this end of things you two might be in trouble like that”

You release your hold on them as you slip out the door on the last word.

…

Something was different about the boy when you had ran into him that morning before the hunters came to the shop and you were hoping you were wrong.

Even if I'm right I can just fix him when I'm done.

You had been running since you left the motel, you're not going back to that little car you had since someone probably will recognize it again.

“(Y/N)!”

You skid to a stop in front of the Hensen's gate, trying to slow your breathing and heart rate after the 2 mile run.

“(Y/N)!” It must be one of the twins running up the drive yelling for you.

“Please. There's something wrong with Rich.”

Just then you hear the roar of the hunters car coming up the road.

“Get the rest of your family and hide. DO NOT come out until i come get you.” You grab her shoulders and make her look at you “Where is he?”

“He- he's in the barn. Mom is went after him, please don't let them hurt them.” She sobs

You shove her toward the house “GO!” Then tear off to the barn in the light of the hunters impala.

Just before you reach the barn a body is thrown through the doors, you manage to stop it in the air before it smashes into you. It's the mother, you lay her gently at your feet never touching her. It's been so long since you've used your powers it feels good to do it again.

“Don't you touch her!” The green eyed hunter yells gun drawn on you.

You hover your hand over the mother and let the healing white light do its job. Both men stand above you guns at the ready.when When you're done you snap your fingers and send her to her own bed far away from the hunters, still unsure if they will leave this family alone.

…

Dean and I argued the whole way to the farm about (y/n). He thinks it's some kind of demon trick that she got out of the devils trap, that she must have broke the circle before stepping in it. But i saw her run into it, it stopped her from reaching the nightstand when she reached out.

Then her still using her powers on us while trapped shouldn't be possible. And those eyes. Cas’ eyes only glow blue-white in the iris’, and no other angel has black around them. Whatever she is we've never seen anything like her.

'Into being on this end of things…’ more arousing than it should be coming from a possible demon.

'Into being on this end of things…’ more arousing than it should be coming from a possible demon.

Before we could act she snapped away the wife.

“You people are always shoot first and answers later.” She stood us to her full height, barely coming to the middle of my chest before swinging around to face Dean.

“MOVE” she shoves past my brother and i have to hide a laugh

“Wait! We don't know what's in there.” I try to stop her but she's already opening the doors before either of us can stop her.

“Ugh. Just stand still and I do everything. hunters…”

What must be the farmers son is standing in the middle of the loft above us cocky smile and black eyes.

"I didnt think you were real little one"