#people's minds. as in their mental concept of who I am

[lurking-latinist]

?

[a-shadowedvales]

so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.

i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.

brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” in this case, eleven.

eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.

i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.

maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.

when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.

i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.

when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.

brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.

by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.

due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.

i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.

it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.

also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.

[transmascnepetaleijon]

life is funny bc it feels like itll last forever while also feeling like it will end at any second

[cats-in-the-clouds]

my sister got engaged and we’re all really happy for her but my bitter rain cloud of a dad (who naturally she told last) is giving her a bit of passive aggressive grief about it despite her boyfriend being like the best man of our generation (presumably either because he’s not catholic or because my dad sees them as young dumb unemployed people who aren’t ready for marriage or because he’s mad he barely has any real love with his own wife or something). so like pray for us? i wish i knew what to do

[limitlessgoddess]

your guide to manifesting your desires in 2024.

i have manifested getting into my dream college, straight As every semester, visiting NYC, and a HUGE glow up (nourished hair, clearer skin, beautiful body, pretty face, emotional intelligence, baddie mindset, and supportive friends + family) in 2022. here's all the things i did that worked for me! i understand everything does not work the same for everyone, for example i find visualization fun and easy to do while affirming, even though natural to me, seems like work to me so i use it as an aid to fuel my visualization. i have had bad mental health days but i persisted in my desires regardless because i know i always get everything i want. 

1. understanding yourself and your thought processes:

this is not necessary for you to manifest what you want but it helps in creating self-awareness in the long term. i used to overthink a lot (manifested it away) so i affirmed and visualized during any free time i had, and eventually my doubts faded away. even if they pop up sometimes, i'm just like meh that's not true and brush them aside. for me, processing all my complicated emotions is essential to me because i get to know my patterns and start working on changing them. it does not matter what triggered them, you've to live with them for the rest of your life if you don't feel them and let them go.

2. discovering new things:

you should get out of your comfort zone. there are thousands of things in the world you haven't experienced. desires can change and you aren't obligated to stick to this one dream when something else lights up the fire inside you in the present. i had the dream of living in NYC for a long term but I became more open to DC, LA, Philadelphia, and other cities after visiting them. i have explored new hobbies too and they've become an important part of me now. being adaptable is important!

3. never settle:

a dream might be small for someone while the same dream might be unattainable for someone else. it's all about persisting in your desires and making them seem attainable to your subconscious. you don't have to lift a finger to manifest, so why aren't you being stubborn about what you want? why are you settling for less when you deserve to have so much more? don't settle for bread crumbs when you can have a WHOLE DAMN LUXURIOUS MEAL.

4. self-concept:

the qualities i find most attractive in a person are communication, efforts, dedication, honesty, and loyalty. so i start affirming for those qualities in myself! i embody them by telling myself, "i am dedicated, honest, and loyal", "i am irreplaceable and unforgettable just because i exist", "i communicate and put in efforts for the people who have the greatest in mind for me." we love people who are secure in themselves and so, we naturally gravitate towards them. i don't care if someone has a pretty body or a pretty face. if they have the drive to succeed in what they're doing and they're giving me princess treatment, i'd immediately fold. it's the inner qualities that stay in the longer term (though you can forever be ageless and youthful, but to complement that you need a beautiful mind and heart - those make you more attractive). 

[luckykiwiii101]

HOW TO ENTER THE VOID STATE WITHOUT VOID CONCEPT!!! (Guaranteed) ❦❦❦❦❦❦❦

(Warning!!!Long post ahead)

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I know some people will heavily disagree with me about this. But I really believe there is a way to enter the void without having to have a good void concept.

All you need is to believe in the void state. That’s it.

The technique:

- Get into a comfortable position.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- Clear your mind with a meditation or something. Maybe by breathing etc, whatever works for you. I really recommend DMT waves to calm your mind. Know that it is important to feel calm physically and mentally. Although it is not completely necessary if you are experienced.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- Once you feel relaxed and have a clear mind, start to affirm your affs for the void state. E.g. “I am pure consciousness” “I am void” “I am in the void state” (You don’t need to affirm, just do anything that distracts you from the 3D, like focusing on your breath, or focusing on the darkness behind your eyes. Anything is alright as long as it doesn’t lead to you falling asleep or paying attention to the 3D).🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- Acknowledge that you do not need to completely block out the 3D. What i mean by “block out” is that you may still be able to hear and feel the 3D. Just don’t focus your attention onto it. Your attention should be on your affirmations or whatever else you chose to focus on (doesn’t have to be affirmations). Also if you get an itch, ignore it, but if it’s too unbearable and it’s completely ruining your focus, there’s no harm in scratching it. You may ask “but why can i scratch it? I have to stay still or i won’t enter the void.” The thing is, this technique does not require you to turn off your left brain as you will normally start to feel symptoms within 2-5 minutes within doing so, and it takes 15-20 minutes to turn off your left brain. Of course you can turn off your left brain by relaxing whilst staying still for 15-20 minutes if that is what you resonate with better. Know that scratching an itch, or shuffling around does not stop you from entering the void. It does not “ruin your progress” either. That is impossible. The void is within you, you cannot run from yourself. YOU ARE THE VOID!🖤🖤🖤

- Know that you do not have to feel symptoms like floating. This is a big misconception. Ofcourse symptoms are very common, but not everyone experiences them. People feel like they can’t enter the void because the symptoms aren’t there to “tell them” that they are “doing it right”. As long as you are not focused on the 3D, you ARE doing it right. Stop stressing. You are supposed to feel relaxed. Stressing is the opposite of relaxation.🖤🖤🖤🖤

- This process will probably take you around 5 minutes. Ofcourse it depends on you as a person. Like how long it takes you to clear your mind. Or how long it takes you to feel comfortable. This should not take more than 1-10 minutes. Most likely will take 2-5 minutes. But don’t worry if it takes longer than that. Erase the stress and anxiety from your mind because you know for a fact that you are going to enter the void. I promise that this cannot fail you. It is literally impossible. It is not based on assumption. It doesn’t matter whether you believe it’s difficult to enter the void state. Just know that you are going to enter the void very quickly because there is no other outcome after doing this. There is no “failure”. 🖤🖤🖤🖤

- You will most likely start to feel floating symptoms etc. Spinning, falling (If you are someone who doesn’t usually feel symptoms, that is fine). When things get more intense the floating feeling might make you feel like you are “panicking”. But don’t worry, just focus and relax. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- THIS IS A VERY CRUCIAL PART!!! Do not focus on your symptoms. Of course you can feel them, but do not pay attention to them. Do not focus on them. There you go. You are in the void.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

See how easy it is. Try it for yourself and watch how failure doesn’t exist. I don’t care what your void concept is like. I don’t care whether you think you can’t do it. You have no choice when doing this method. This has been used for years and years. It is literally just detachment from the 3D. It is not difficult.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

BIG MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE:

Some people make some really silly mistakes and then complain about “not being able to enter the void.”🖤🖤🖤

MISTAKE NUMBER 1:

- Anticipating entering the void. Your goal should be to relax. Of course to eventually enter the void, but if you are anticipating by thinking “When am i going to enter the void?!” “When am i going to start feeling symptoms?” then you are just going to stress yourself out. Do not do this! When you are clearing your mind, set the intention of entering the void and just relax and know that you are going to enter.🖤🖤🖤

MISTAKE NUMBER 2:

- Thinking that movement is not allowed. You ARE allowed to move around and adjust your position. It doesn’t “slow you down” or “ruin your progress”. It doesn’t stop you from entering. So stop stressing. Moving around only matters when you are turning your left brain off, but this method does not require that. I’ve moved around plenty of times and i’ve seen many success stories of people who have moved around whilst literally having a terrible void concept on top of that.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

MISTAKE NUMBER 3:

- When people start to feel the symptoms, they drift their attention to the 3D and how their physical body feels. DO NOT DO THIS!! Just keep focusing on what you were focusing on before, then you will enter the void in a few seconds. Literally. I always used to do this and just yesterday i stopped letting the symptoms get the best of me and get distracted by them, i kept persisting in my affirmations whilst affirming to enter the void and i felt myself entering but since i didn’t want to enter (because i am a dumbass), i woke myself up. But it’s TOO easy. Okay. Ignoring symptoms are ridiculously easy.

WHAT TO DO IF I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO IGNORE SYMPTOMS?

There are many ways you can ignore symptoms:

For mild focus (when you don’t feel symptoms yet):

- Focus on breathing and breathing only.

- Focus on affirming and affirming only.

- Focus on the darkness behind eyes only

For when you start to feel symptoms but they aren’t that intense:

- Focus on breathing and affirming only.

- Focus on breathing and darkness only.

- Focus on affirming and darkness only.

For when symptoms start to get really intense and you can feel yourself entering the void:

- Focus on all three simultaneously.

If you still find it easy to focus on ONE thing when things get intense (which they might not) then that’s fine. You don’t have to focus on more than one thing. That’s just a solution for people who can’t. Also i just have examples of what to focus on. Ofc you can focus on random thoughts or anything detached from the 3D. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

See how easy it is. Go enter the void rn and have fun whether you just wanted peace or to manifest something!!!🖤🖤🖤

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Sincerely, - Gossip Girl 💋💋💋

[kisseobie]

Hello🫣🫣 may I request p1harmony reaction to you wearing something short/revealing when going out clubbing? Thank youuu☺️☺️

p1harmony reacting to you wearing revealing clothes

pairings: ot6 p1harmony x reader

warnings: suggestive

tags: established relationships, clingy piwon, the boys are.. boys, clubbing, drinking (aged up for seobsoul), non idol au

a/n: it’s funny bc i was JUST reading an exact post like this a few minutes ago so anon if u were the same person who sent @ntoniac a request for the same thing i hope i can do it justice bc hers had me giggling and kicking my feet .. ANYWAYS! once again i apologize for slow updates i unfortunately am a student amidst a depressive episode soooooo it takes me a bit longer to write :( i hope u all can understand

𖧷 keeho

is honestly so cheesed. the type to insist to take pictures of you on his phone before you two actually make your way out, already mentally planning out which photo he’s gonna use in his next photo dump. is always super grabby with his hands, but its somehow amplified tonight. constantly has his arm lazily perched on your shoulder, and he often whispers cute little compliments into your ear every now and then. doesn’t really mind when people approach you to talk to you, doesn’t even necessarily care when said people make quick glances at your cleavage and the short length of your skirt. you two have an immense level of trust in your relationship, so he’s not one to feel insecure when people admire his girl. i can see kyo as the type to drag you onto the dance floor too, just so he can spin you around and feel your ass rub against the frontside of his jeans. eventually does end up posting those photos he took of you earlier on instagram, but not without captioning it something like “that’s all me”

𖧷 theo

doesn’t care about how short and tight your mini dress is, just wants it off of you by the end of the night. when you first skipped into the living room, beaming as you showed off your outfit of choice to him, theo had to hold himself back from kissing you silly. just like keeho, the simple concept of his girlfriend wearing a revealing outfit doesn’t make him super possessive, but he does make himself known to onlookers as your boyfriend in other ways, whether that be holding your drink and purse for you without you even asking him to, or sneaking up behind you to pepper kisses along your neck when your in the middle of conversation with someone. he makes his presence known but also wants to ensure that you have a carefree, enjoyable night without feeling like you have to tend to your boyfriend the entire time. taeyang definitely does admire your cleavage when he gets the chance too though, shamelessly stares at your chest and just giggles in reply when you scold him for doing so… loves to flirt with you even more than he usually does tbh

𖧷 jiung

is the overly possessive boyfriend that will whine and beg you to change. in reality, he doesn’t actually expect you to change your outfit, but lets you know (whilst pouting) that although you look hot and he wants to devour you, he also is very nervous about the unwanted attention you might get. it’s not a bad thing really! jiung just wants to be the only man that gets to see you in such a tiny top. although he might complain at first, you don’t miss the obvious blush on his face, silently signaling to you that he secretly loves when you dress this way. he’s not a very touchy person, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t interlock your fingers the entire night, even giving your hand gentle squeezes when you give someone else a little too much attention for his liking. glares at anyone who might whistle at you or even just look in your general vicinity for a bit too long. quickly shuts down offers himself from other guys that have the balls to ask you to dance. yeah, your not being let out of his sight looking that good. he’s just obsessed with you and wants you all to himself, sorry!

𖧷 intak

actually is the one who helps you pick out your outfit! tak himself wants to spend the night out showing off his beautiful girlfriend so he purposely convinces you to wear the shortest denim skirt you own, paired with an equally revealing spaghetti strap crop top. comes up behind you when your adjusting your outfit in the mirror to wrap his arms around your waist and perch his chin on your right shoulder, shooting down any concerns you might have about your outfit being kind of “whorish” (your words, not his!). is your personal hype man. you look good and he’s gonna make you feel good. loves to watch you on the dance floor from a nearby barstool, having the time of your life with your friends. after you’ve tired yourself out, you walk towards him to join him at the bar and he doesn’t miss the opportunity to eye your entire body from top to bottom and let out an obnoxious whistle. he’s sooooo sweet frat boy coded… definitely asks if he can take a body shot off of you whilst winking and you just roll your eyes in response. when he ends up drunk out of his mind and you have to drag him inside your shared cab, he’s mumbling the sweetest praises to you before he falls asleep against your shoulder

𖧷 soul

doesn’t really have much to say, but his body language speaks for itself. like most of piwon, his possessiveness is at a minimum, and like intak, he loves when you feel confident enough to dress this way. maybe it’s the introvert in him, but he lives vicariously through your bold outfit choices. loves to give you kisses on your exposed collarbone as he smoothens out a crease on your silk skirt. he also loves the way your stomach peeks out of your cropped top, and he holds onto your waist when kissing you to circle his thumbs on the area. stares at you lovingly the entire night, and doesn’t falter when your eyes meet every now and then. he comes up to you towards the end of the night and whispers into your ear about how he thinks you look so pretty and that he loves this outfit. you definitely end up seeing a more vocal side of him when the alcohol kicks in, and you swoon at how lovey dovey his words are. he just wants you to feel pretty and confident and he ends up succeeding in proving that to you! makes really bad attempts at flirting which ends up in the pair of you laughing your asses off. overall shota makes you feel beautiful and you make mental notes to bring him out wearing revealing clothes more often

𖧷 jongseob

djsjdkajdjsj i have to write my boyfriend as clingy as possible. he’s definitely the type of boyfriend to sit on the end of your bed, aimlessly scrolling on his phone and taking little peeks at you every now and then while your doing your makeup on your vanity. when you finish your makeup and go to your closet to change into the tiny little dress you’ve chosen for the evening, you’re honestly a bit nervous as to how your boyfriend will react to how bodycon and short the attire is, but you look and feel hot and that encourages you to step out in front of him. he notices your presence right away and looks up at your face, then chest, then thighs, and then turns off and tucks his phone into his back pocket and grabs at you to sit on his lap. gives you the sweetest kiss imaginable and pulls away to look at you with disbelief. asks you something along the lines of “how did i get so lucky?” and his hands run all over the material of your dress. his boldness is new but very welcome and he spends a good while complimenting you, asking you where you bought this dress, and playing with your hair with a smug grin on his face. gets soooo excited to take you out and wastes no time in calling an uber so he can show you off to the world. feels like he’s on cloud 9!

taglist: @woozixo @hearts4chanhee @kyokopi @astro-doll-the-star @soobiary @kyaaramello @t3ssamoodboard @angelcbf @idontknow-1s-world @vivienne-sim @elissasimp @imjustayapper @ihatewreckingballmains @theyluvsosa @seobing @www90kitsch @khfviq @barbiekh86t @bbyjjunie @taeyangi @fullsunstrawberry @jihnyah @intheemptymirror

© kisseobie, please do not repost my writing!

𖧷 ₊ ° .

[lovelybrooke]

Platonic Yandere Hazbin Hotel Concept (Pt.3)

I know this says Hazbin Hotel but this mostly concerns Helluva boss. Please check out my immortal reader au masterlist and read part 1 and 2 before reading this.

masterlist

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Getting back to regular life was hard.

Your mother made you go back to school quickly after you woke up from your coma. People were nosey, asking too many questions that you could barely answer, and on top of that your mind was still racing with everything that had happened. It all felt so real, you didn't expect to wake up. But ultimately you fell back into a routine quickly. Going to school, going to work, going home, and waking up to do it all again. It was hard to accept that everything was just in your head, but you moved on.

All you wanted to focus on was catching up with school, but that was difficult with your peers and their questions. You guess that's what happens when you get hit by a car. But you just wanted all of them to shut up and leave you alone. It was all so much that you were leaving work early constantly because everyone seemed to know you. You spent most of your time back at home taking care of your mother.

While after finishing cleaning up one night and finally getting your mother in bed, you went to go take your medicine. While most of your wounds healed shockingly fast, you still needed medication to keep you stable until further notice. Maybe you weren't paying attention, maybe you got confused and picked up the wrong bottle, but when you went to bed, you didn't wake up.

Well that wasn't correct, because when you did, you were back in Hell, but you didn't recognized any of this. You knew this was Pride, but noting by the fact that you've never really left the hotel alone, that was the best you got. You didn't want to be here, you just wanted to go back home, you didn't want to go through this again. You watched with an anxious breath as Imps passed you on the street, and as a kept looking around, you noticed you were in front of a building, so that's were you went, attempting to hide away from everything.

The building looked normal for the most part, kinda dirty if you were being honest, but it was better than being gawked at in the streets. You were hoping to find a way back to the hotel, just find the people you knew. As you sit in the lobby of building you hugged yourself and sighed, barely hearing the door open. You wanted to laugh at how familiar this whole situation was, but the noise wouldn't come out, and all you could hear was "who are you, sweetie?"

It was a female imp, right next to her another male imp, who looked way more concerned than her. "Millie, is that a human." He whispered to the other, but you could still very much hear him. Honestly, you were finding it hard to care about their shock, you've already been through this before you don't need to hear it again.

"Excuse me, yeah—I'm sorry, could you tell me where I am?" You interrupting their muttering. They both instantly stop talking, looking at you for a few seconds before the female imp moves towards you and takes your hand, ignoring your question.

"Could you come with me?" You didn't really have a choice, so you go with the two into another room, this one with a long table, another Imp and a hellhound in the room, both unbothered by the two other imps storming in the room. "Blitzo why was there a human in the lobby?"

Suffice to say that Blitzo didn't know who you were at all, but your presence still caused an uproar. Talks about grimoire's and jobs, all of which didn't matter to you. You sulked back into the chair you were now in as you listen to the others argue, mentally trying to think of a way to get to the hotel without drawing too much attention to yourself. "Look..." You eventually spoke. "Just tell me where the Hazbin Hotel is and I'll leave you all alone."

"The what now?" Blitzo gawked, causing you to sulk ever further into your chair. This was going to be impossible.

Since then, the married couple, Millie and Moxie, were nice enough to let you stay with them, spending the rest of your time at their job with Blitzo and his daughter Loona. It wasn't ideal, but since one seemed to know about the Hotel, you given up getting back there any time soon. But everyone seemed nice, especially Mille and Moxie, who seemed very happy to have you around, even though you tried to stay out of their hair. Even though, they both seemed to like you, making it a surprise that they didn't have any children of their own.

The couple loved you, they loved having you at their home, taking care of you. It was a nice change of pace from the work that Blitzo put them through. Even though you were older, they couldn't help but treat you like a child. They couldn't care less that you were human, all they wanted to do was take care of you.

Blitzo and Loona were also nice, even though you tend to hang out with Loona more. She was closer to you in age, and while sardonic, it was nice having a friend your own age. And for the first time in a while, it seemed like she actually enjoyed hanging out with you, which made you happy. Blitzo at first made you nervous, but after realizing that he wasn't nearly as scary as you once thought, you warmed up to him. You never really understood why Loona hated him so much, he seemed like a great dad, but you're not really the judge of good and bad dads.

Loona thought you were great, you related to her in ways others didn't, you were fun and a distraction from work. What she didn't get was Blitzo and his weird fascination with you. Maybe it was because you were close to her in age, or because you were a human, but it's not like Blitzo hasn't seen them before. Honestly, Blitzo couldn't explain it himself, but you reminded him of Loony in some ways, and he just knew there was something deeper about you, even if you would never admit it.

After a while, you started to fall into a routine. It was nice having people take care of you. You felt like a kid again around Millie and Moxie, and their care nearly mad you forget about the hotel. They were interested in you as a person, in your life, and it made you feel important. Blitzo also seemed to take an interest in you, one that seemed strange for someone that had a daughter. You never wanted to get to close to you, afraid of making Loona uncomfortable, but it was nearly impossible to get him to leave you alone.

One day, Loona invited you to party in part of hell you've never even heard of. To not seem like a loser, you excepted, and while Millie and Moxie were nervous for you, you managed to meet up with Loona and head to the party. It was--a lot to say the least, and while you tried to keep up with Loona, you eventually lost her, and you headed outside to catch a breath. It was there that you met Octavia. She didn't seem like someone to be at a party, but a lot of people were at this party so it wasn't that weird. She was soft spoken, but nice, and she eventually even invited you over to her home. You couldn't give her an answer before Loona found you and dragged you off. It seemed like she knew Octavia, but you didn't want to assume anything, and never asked.

Octavia liked having a friend, something to distract her from the chaos of her home life. You were a safe haven for her, something she seemed to crave as time went on, and on top of that you seemed to understand her. You were a great listener, a great friend, and someone she wanted to keep to herself. It's why she wanted to keep you away from her dad, she cared about him, but she didn't want anything to change about you, she just wanted you to be hers.

You spent a lot of your time after that messaging Octavia whenever you could. She was similar to Loona in ways, cynical and moody during some times, but also funny and genuinely a great person. She also hated her dad, who she complained about a lot when messaging with you. You didn't know how to act when she got like that, making you feel awkward when she complained to you. She was the first person you told about your family, feeling like a weight was lifted from your chest, even if there was still a lot to be worried about.

---

A/n: All the characters wouldn't fit, so feel free to ask about them in separate posts. I really don't want to write a part 4 but I will if I have to. Also I know this sucked but I wanted to get this over with, sorry

[grllmx]

"Ragatha in Wonderland"

🌻 Them side by side for height difference 🌻

Heya!! Y'all wouldn't mind some info dump, would ya?

But before I share my thoughts and ideas for this au, note that I am making this all for fun and that I am only merging two concepts at once because they sound fun in my head!

-- So without further ado, let's start shall we?

Ragatha in Wonderland is a fun silly lil' au I thought about in my spare time (Though I am aware that I'm not the only person who had similar ideas) buuut! Here's my take on how this concept goes ~

💜🟣🎀- - - - - RAGATHA IN WONDERLAND - - - - -🎀🟣💜

🌻 Wonderland is similar yet different from the Circus. Many possibilities await in this newly found land, but wait... How odd, suddenly everyone and everything is of new variation! Did things really stay the same? Are things different? It's a confusing world that warped and transformed the original digital land into something new. New places to explore, new outfits! New concepts... New people? It seems everything changed. Perhaps even... True death is possible now.

Ragatha - Plays the role as Alice. Confused and bewildered at first but Ragatha progressively adapts to the world and the surroundings around her. Acts like herself for the first portions of the story but as she dwells longer in this 'wonderland' she loses herself, her identity, as if the place was sucking out all of 'her'. She'll meet a lot of familiar faces. She feels comforted, knowing that she isn't alone in this newly found world but little does she know - they are not what she seemed.

Jax - The white rabbit leading Ragatha to wonderland. Jax was the one who dragged her in this, so Ragatha's first instincts was to follow him, hoping he knows where the exit is. Though he often plays tricks, teasing and playing with Ragatha's head whenever given the chance. Maybe he doesn't sound like a reliable shoulder to lean on, but he is Ragatha's key in terms of escaping wonderland.

Gangle - Starring as the mouse and the dormouse. The first person (other than Jax) Ragatha meets in wonderland. Gangle is skittish and has an extreme fear of cats. She does not like hearing or mentioning them, her mouse-like features says so otherwise. Though, in later unfortunate events, Ragatha scares her by mentioning, you guess it, cats. And then flees elsewhere.

Zooble - Following the (possibly tobacco) smoke trails, enters in the wise caterpillar. Meeting for the first time was not fun, in Ragatha's case mostly. Zooble asks Ragatha a lot of questions, typically centering around herself which gradually starts her descend into madness. Zooble's questions hit hard for Ragatha, making her realize a lot of things and learn more about the world. Though one question stuck the most, "who are YOU?"

Caine - The Hatter/Mad hatter. Need I say more? Hehe, anyways... Caine, alongside Bubble, is notably the most mad or insane person living in wonderland. Always yapping about random things (Riddles, jokes, factual statement... you name it) that can either be truth or made up, which Ragatha can't tell the difference of since they are always so surreal and deranged, or in other words, utter nonsense! He is another character that made Ragatha's mental state and mindset deteriorate. (Ragatha wishes to never meet him again)

Pomni - It's Pomni! Though, something is off... Pomni's role is the Cheshire cat. She's willing to help Ragatha escape, even suggesting ideas that felt to be possible, but are things really that easy? No, of course not! She is a red herring, a person filled with mischief that fools and plays with her victims until she deems them boring. Ragatha meets Pomni in the woods right after she ran away from Caine, and just like Jax, Pomni plays with Ragatha's head. But eventually helps her out and leads her to the kingdom's garden.

Kinger - Sometimes, a king is fit to be queen. Kinger is the Queen of Hearts, a short tempered, bossy but childish queen. After first meeting, Ragatha didn't deem Kinger as a threat at first, even playing a simple game of croquet with him. But as she starves and remembers that hunger was present in this land, she secretly ate the queen's well-known 'tarts'. This resulted into the seething rage of Kinger, declaring a court trial in which Ragatha was later proven to be 'guilty'. Hence, "OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

🌻 So, spoiler alert -- Just like in original tales and stories inspired by Alice in Wonderland, this was all in Ragatha's head, a dream! I'm debating to either turn this into a comic or not, because I think it helps further explain my ideas, but who knows? Maybe with the right motivation and energy, I might do it.

Thank you for reading! Have a nice day/night 🌻

[drchucktingle]

Good day Dr. Tingle. I haven't read your stories, but I've known about you from afar in this website for a while. Your recent post about separating Ideas and Message is very similar to how I teach a class. I wanted to ask you, if you could share some of your Messages, in whichever structure/length/complexity you think about them before writing, to have some real world examples to show in class.

Personally I tend to simplify and shorten my messages as much as possible, like "everyone deserves forgiveness" for example, so that I can permeate it throughout the story, and so that anyone experiencing the story can come to a similarish conclusion.

I'm curious as to how your Messages look like inside your head, during the creative process. Not the refined versions used for marketing and sales and stuff.

Thank you!

sure buckaroo.

high concept idea of the book STRAIGHT was this: zombie apocalypse story but the rage only effects straight cis people (there is also a second high concept idea in there which is: what if zombie plague only happened one day a year? how would culture handle this politically and otherwise?)

so i had this idea that i thought was good, but before i can write it i think 'well what do i want to SAY about this? what am i FEELING?'

and i realized that i was a little torn about how to write this story because of the one day a year thing. when is it okay to fight back? can you hurt a zombie if it turns back into a person the next day? is that right or wrong? and WHEN is it right or wrong? what situations?

then i realized that with the metaphor of this story what i was really asking was something bigger: why is it up to the victims (in this case queer buckaroos) to be forced to make these decisions? marginalized groups have TWO kinds of violations done to them, the first is the obvious act of violation, but the second is that they are forced to use their time and mental space and emotional tolerance to learn how to HANDLE the first violation in an 'acceptable way'

so THAT became my message. if you want to know how i feel about these questions you can read STRAIGHT and find out.

CAMP DAMASCUS high concept idea was (SPOILERS IF YOU HAVE NOT READ CAMP DAMASCUS STOP READING HERE) what if the church really DID decide the ends justify the means and instead of stopping demonic possession they were inflicting demonic possession to counter sinful acts.

but that is not the message of the book. that is just the idea. if i just had that idea i would not write it, but as things evolved i realized WHAT i wanted to say with this story

in this situation WHO is the force of 'evil'? would it be the demons? would it be the possessed? or would it be the SYSTEM AND MENTALITY that was creating this situation in the first place? so the book sets out the answer this question and express the conclusion that ive made for myself

i also noticed that many churches who are anti gay have a sort of infantilizing trot with how they handle their young buckaroos. this idea that gay feelings will just go away if they are ignored and that they can almost keep young queer buckaroos from ever aging into fully realized adults. obviously i think this is WRONG and so fighting back against this mentality became part of the message as well, and that informed most of the metaphor and symbolism in the book.

it is important to keep in mind that sometimes the message can change. as the book trots along i am LEARNING myself, working out these thoughts on the page and coming to a conclusion of my own. this is actually VERY true of BURY YOUR GAYS, which is probably most autobiographical thing i have written. i will save talking about that MESSAGE and HIGH CONCEPT for after book is out though

EDIT FOR CLARITY OF MY WAY:

when i say i write MESSAGE FIRST that does not mean i think of the message first in TIME (although that does happen sometimes) it means the message is the most important thing over plot or characters or anything like that (although those are important too). it means that i write with message as my north star, which is rare, but it is how i make art

[etoilesbienne]

re: boundaries

I've made many posts previously on this subject already, so people are already aware of my stance regarding disliking the way "boundaries" as a concept are used by the mcyt fandom, however I want to have a brief meditation on why this is the case, and a look at common arguments about them.

however i do want to make clear that i don't mind boundaries as a concept, actual boundaries. as in "if you do x, i will respond with y" kinds of boundaries. I think cc are completely fair and understandable in this kind of perspective. if someone makes a kind of content they dislike, they're free to block that fan or express discomfort over it. That's normal.

my critical eye is turned toward the fandom's perception of "boundaries" as a sort of fandom ruleset, either you follow them with the in-group, or you're thrown in the out-group and labelled all sorts of insults, anywhere from a criminal offender to just having people be plain nasty toward you. this in my opinion, really feeds into the fandom habit of having "cliques" as fandoms are social networks that are voluntarily joined. i find it juvenile at best.

at worst, on the other hand, is the concept of mcyt having mixed in kpop stan culture around 2019 with smplive (great server. horrific fandom at the time it was run. all of the smplive fans still left are veterans worthy of respect for surviving that.), which caused a very explosive mixture.

kpop fandom has this outlook and parasociality toward idols because these idols are borderline unreachable. even in smaller groups, companies generally (not always.) discourage idols from talking one-on-one selectively with fans. there deserves to be a more thorough examination of kpop fandom with stan culture, that i believe i am not fully qualified for. my point is that kpop idols are a hell of a lot harder to reach for english fans, whether through language barrier or through professionality done by companies.

the explosive mixture is bringing this same mentality - the mentality that these people you look toward as the main source of the fandom as being untouchable, perfect people. it's dehumanizing in its own right, but aside from that, it creates a dangerous fandom situation. as best shown using smplive with CallMeCarson from before.

CMC is the origin point of boundaries within the MCYT fandom, having held a live in fall of 2019 talking about how a popular danganronpa themed wattpad smplive fanfiction was upsetting for him to read. CMC had an intense fanbase that could and would look up to him no matter what. of course the fanbase would go after and harass this author off of the internet and deleting their work (which remained lost media until this January of 2024. Almost half a decade.) after this situation, only months later it comes out that CMC had in fact been manipulating women aged 17 to early 20s, into sexual dms and sending him explicit photos of themselves for around a year. i am of the opinion CMC would have done this behavior regardless, however, the fact he had access to so many women who put him on a pedestal without considering he could exploit them was exacerbated by the stan culture mentality of mcyt's fandom at the time. this is not a criticism of the women, it is a criticism of the fandom culture of the time for failing to treat carson as a human being who had every capability to treat people like this.

no cc is exempt from that mentality by the fandom. carson knowingly used his position within the fandom to make the choice to do that to those girls. no cc should be exempt from the real possibility of the consideration that they can fuck up, not always in the way that they necessarily need to be cancelled or deplatformed, carson is an extreme example that is absolutely not representative of cc as a whole, but there needs to be a healthy level of doubt and separation between creators and fans.

to reiterate: cc are not your friends. cc do not need you to speak for them. you do not know these people personally. to present your defense of them and their personal opinions like you spoke to them directly and are close friends is dangerous, both for yourself, and for other fans in the community.

everything i have listed is why i always will be critical toward any fan group or clique that presents themselves as being pillars of the community, and why i am critical of any page or resource that tries to list "boundaries" as hard fast rules to be self policed by the fandom. not only is that punitive mentality, it's careless and poor understanding of how communities at large work.

i don't think a "boundaries" list is necessarily a bad idea in the long run either, if these lists were, like, compilations of streamers' twitch chat rules, that'd be cool! but generally these lists lack any nuance of why and where some boundaries may apply. like a ton of streamers hate ships being spammed in chat, but could give less of a fuck about people making ship fanart. or like wouldn't care as long as the ship art isn't put in their main tag.

as well as the general ignoring of regular boundaries, we all remember the horror show of people dono-ing to cc in 2020-22 asking for their boundaries right? like just so we're explicitly clear, walking up to someone and asking what someone's opinion of making adult content of them is very much sexual harassment. that's objectively something fans should not be asking to cc. if they want to say something, they can speak up on their own. they do not need your prompting. if you wouldn't ask it to your boss in an office, don't ask cc it. tangentially related is the ignoring of boundaries based on disliking fans harassing each other or other cc. those boundaries never get to be prioritized for a reason, as those behaviors feed into the stan culture mentality of pitting sources against each other in fan wars.

parasociality and stan culture turn mcyt fandom into a power vacuum where fans who like to self-police to a dangerous extent try to take charge. this makes the fandom worse.

[lotusmi]

SUCCESS STORY!!🤎🧸

tw//mental problems, abusive family, bullying, suicide attempt, manifest/void obsession

first of all i want to thank lotus because it helped me even when i was thinking about suicide❤️‍🩹

it's been years since I learned loa and I was having problems with the manifest. althought I have known loa for 2-3 years, i constantly reacted to 3D and for such reasons I could not manifest anything for 2-3 years. and when i first learned loa i was obsessed with void. I was hurting myself to enter void. like if you don't enter void today I will kill you. i was crazy because of void. at the same time, I was staying in the family environment that dragged me to death, and I was bullied at school . i was hated by people even though i did nothing. i tried to commit suicide many times, my family wouldn't let me go to the therapist. also, no one said anything to the bullying I saw. thats why I bullied myself for years in the same way. if I told anyone I was being bullied and asked for help, they would say it was probably my problem to my face💀💀 and towards the end of 2022, i seriously couldn't stand it anymore. i was constantly reading blogs [i think there is no blog i haven't read, lmao] and the last time i couldn't stand it, i tried suicide again, but i failed. later i wrote to lotus and she gave me a lot of advice (baby ily😩❤️) and i cried more than i have ever cried that night. the problem is that while people were already ruining me, the real problem was that i was ruining myself too. after that day, in the first week, i had so many problems in my manifest journey. but until 2023, i said to myself, "i don't want to live like this anymore. i deserve the life I want.” i made a promise. and every time I felt like quitting, i remembered my promise to myself. and now i have revised my whole life, i live in dubai🤭. if you're going to ask how i did this, i started to listen to my inner voice, i almost stopped entering tumblr. i stopped affirming and wrote down the things that i was gonna revise one by one, and added them to the notes app on my phone. i made a note at the bottom that I already have these in my life. when “what if I can't manifest the life I want?” if such thoughts came to my mind, i told myself that the creation was already finished. in this process, i focused only on myself and was developing my self concept. before I went to bed at night, i was constantly imagining the life I wanted and I was staying in that state and saying I already had the life I wanted, I didn't affirm anything extra. and even those who made life difficult for me started to apologize to me. (i manifested their karma life lol) anyway I don't want to talk more about those bitches but I want to mention this. please take a break. relax. stay away from things like void, loa for a few days. I noticed that some of you are obsessed with void on this blog. but i must say void is just a method. if i manifested the life i wanted when i was only 12-13 years old, you can do it too. take a break and do what feels good to you. love yourself. loa blogs can help you up to a point. they can't spare all their days for you. start taking responsibility. find manifest methods that work well for you. love yourself. meditate. i’ve talked a lot but I would like to add that, if someone tells you that you are the cause of the circumstances you are experiencing right now, that you created the conditions in which you live, please tell them to shut their fucking mouths. no such thing. i was blaming myself again, thinking what a disgusting monster i am just because this “you create ur reality” thingy. but the truth is that creation is already over. good luck!

MY FAV SUCCESS STORY TO EXIST!!!! 😭

I literally cried when this girl texted me saying she is living her dream life, I was so pround, I am pround 💗

Backstory, she first texted me 12/15/2022

She told me everything about her circumstances, they were really bad ones, and she was 12 at time and this made my heart so broken (she revised her age) since her parents were really toxic and disgusting ( I am not going to say much about her old story).

So I told her all about the toxic home I lived and how I manifested it away too (my success, my failures).

So, time passed and 01/feb I got this text!

I literally cried because I was so happy for herrrr 💗😭😭

"How she did it?"

She focused in her inner Self being the only reality and ignored all circumstances!

"and i would love to you to add those youtubers and blogs" insta: - kriston jackson youtube: - lana blakely tumblr: - @becomingthatgirl111 — other sources abt loa: - joe dispenza, edward art"

I literally cried so much and I am so happy for you my angel, look how you did it! You were 12 and revised your whole life! 💗💗💗

And that are people out there who don't believe that it is possible to manifest things. Look at this girl 💓

You did it amazing love, I am so pround of you. You are deserving of all the best things in the world. I wish you all the fun in life. Thank you sm for sending me this, I feel so appreciated that I had helped you, but who did all of this was YOU! 💗💗💗

✉️You all, everything is possible!

[vixeneptune]

*IDGAF Mentality* POWERFUL AFFIRMATIONS

I'm too cool to give a fuck

I'm literally so confident, nothing can shake me

I always know how to remain calm and cool and unbothered 💆🏻‍♀️

My peace of mind is my top priority and nothing can affect that

I have that 'out of sight out of mind' mentality

I can easily detach from other people's bullshit that has nothing to do with me 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't care for external validation i know I'm dope as fuck

I can recognize when people project their insecurities and I take none of that

I don't care what people think of me, I'm the main character why'd I care if one person dislikes me 😂

People's opinions are their subjective perspectives and it's not a threat to my survival so idc

I just be my own person, doing my own thing, living my best life

I'm happy with myself and who I am and that's all that matters

I accept myself fully, with all the good and the bad, that's what makes me unique and amazing ✨

I don't compete with anyone, I'm already the best

My confidence radiates and speaks volumes

I do whatever the fuck I want cuz this is my life and I'm the main character

I'm such a catch anyone would be lucky to have me

My self concept is top tier, I'm the one on the pedestal

I have an unshakable sense of worth

How I see myself and how I feel about myself is the only thing that matters to me

I don't give a fuck about what the 3D shows, I KNOW I already have it

I trust myself always.

My potential is so great, I'm meant for great things

I'm so fucking powerful, I command my desires and bend reality to my will

The last thing I'd worry about is stupid circumstances or opinions that don't even matter LOL

No one can mess with my vibe ✨

[she-is-ovarit]

I'm over the term "gender equality", and the way in which it is being used and advocated for by the mainstream, status-quo left.

"Men and women are equal" operates under the bias that men are the default standard of equality, which women are then sometimes required or expected to meet. Usually statements like "women are just as strong as men", "women are just as capable as men in sports" act as support.

It intentionally is meant to be cheered on as liberating, but the reality is it's a derivative of "I don't see race I just see people", "no race but the human race", "not disabled just differently-abled", etc. It's a form of sexism that ignores sexism. It's "I am going to ignore biological differences based on sex" when the reality is being of the female sex shapes both my material and lived reality in extremely complex ways and can have dangerous consequences when ignored.

The average woman is not is strong as a man and it often takes a deliberate amount of persistence, training, and/or testosterone injections for us to come close to or meet the male default. "The muscle strength of women indeed, is typically reported in the range of 40 to 75% of that of men". The average man could easily kill and overpower me, and if I were an athlete a man who trained equally to me would defeat me in competition.

Women are 47% more likely than men to be injured in a car accident. Cars were designed for male drivers. In 2011 was when "female" crash dummies were introduced into measuring car safety in the US, however sometimes organizations in the US and UK just used "scaled down male dummies" to test car safety for women. As this article explains, we are not scaled-down men. We have different muscle mass distribution. We have lower bone density. There are differences in vertebrae spacing. Even our body sway is different. And these differences are all crucial when it comes to injury rates in car crashes. And what about pregnant women?

We have different needs and different experiences than males and the world around is us designed with males in mind - from housing to automobiles, to entire economic systems. 85% of women will eventually be mothers. When women take maternal leave to care for a newborn while the man continues to work (or returns shortly later), he effectively advances his career and over time earns more promotions and pay. His schedule is to focus on his career growth and then come home for a few hours in the evening to play with their child (or play videogames). Mothers pay a significant wage penalty for having children from being months out of the labor market.

This list could really go on.

"Gender equality" is utilized by men to distract women from focusing on only women's rights and needs to men's rights and needs. It's used to shoehorn in arguments of "men too" and sympathizing with men on "men's mental health" (while neglecting the fact that men are overwhelmingly and in shocking numbers responsible for violence done to both sexes - and are additionally unlikely to want to work on themselves mentally).

Reframing and enfolding "violence against women", "women's rights", "male violence", "female liberation", and "women's oppression" into the vague language of "gender equality" is a deliberate act of obfuscating the power dynamics between the sexes - in which men globally exploit and oppress women on the axis of sex.

And as vague language, carves a place for people to have the opportunity to shift the responsibility and blame onto women and girls for the suffering that men wield onto their own sex.

Women and girls do have advantages and strengths over men and boys due to our biological differences - yet this, too, goes ignored under the vague concept of "gender equality" and the cultural belief system it evokes, which treats man as the mold that women should fit.

[goddessxeffect]

《 MASTERPOST: Let go and let God 》

Quotes from blog post and answers from other bloggers regarding certain topics based in the teachings of law of consciousness and non duality. This is a summary of everything I think is incredibly useful and has been for me in understanding and applying this lifestyle. Long post ahead.

Basics & Teaching

"I contain all, nothing contains me." - Nisargadatta Maharaj

This subject cannot be learned intellectually, it cannot be learned through the mind [ego] because it's perceived just behind the mind. We can use the mind to gradually undo the limitations enough so that we can get behind the mind by getting it quieter. @4dbarbie-backup

What you can point out as 'this' or 'that' cannot be yourself. Surely, you can not be 'something' else. You are nothing perceivable, or imaginable. Yet, without you there can be neither perception nor imagination. Identity or Ego is merely a pattern of events in time and space, which are also just concepts belonging to the world of ego.@4dbarbie-backup YOU are life. you are life itself. you are all. you are how this all works. "me? this body? this mind?" not the body, mind, ego or thoughts. not even the feeling, beliefs & emotions. i'm talking about Self. Infinity. God. I AM. the awareness. the one that observes all. the life force is you. you animate all of what you see. @lains-reality

Realize you are never not IT. We are actually fully realized all the time. We are fully realized Beings saying that we are not. @4dbarbie-backup There is no becoming "aware". You can't become something you already are! You keep forgetting you are not the body-mind (ego). The body-mind lacks things, the body-mind takes it's surroundings to be real. The body-mind has a very limited viewpoint, it knows what it knows, it only sees what it sees. @iamthat-iam The [body-]mind cannot intimidate the Pure Self, it can only intimidate the idea you have of who you are, your self image. what the mistake is, is that we are taking the idea of who we are as the fact of who we are.@lains-reality

Everything you see and experience is only a mental condition, a dream-like state, easy to dispel by questioning its reality. Both sleep and waking are imagined.@4dbarbie-backup Dreams are just "materializations" of whatever our consciousness is aware of while the body rests. You can touch it, you can interact with it, your senses become active when you're dreaming at times. there's even a phenomenon where people actually thought their dreams were memories or something they legitimately experienced.@piercedblunt "But I am not conscious of myself when sleeping?!" You are aware of something though, being unconscious, which manifests instantly, you are sleeping. Being unconscious is an experience, and you're doing the same thing in the waking state.@4dbarbie-backup

Let's now take a look at this so-called physical world. The apparent solid outer world is just an illusory world. We created it mentally, which is also backed up by human science. But, and that's the catch, it is not external and so the only way to control the outside world is to step out of the world. The ego IS IN the world, and not you. Both the ego and the world are IN YOU.@4dbarbie-backup

When 'you' desire something, you [Consciousness] already have it. How do you already have it? Your true self is everything, it can't desire anything if it's already being anything. Everything that your ego desires already exists within consciousness. Remember that whenever your ego tries to bring up a desire. @iamthat-iam After all, when 'you' desired in your mind, wasn't there a moment where you had it? Where you imagined what it'd be like to have it, what it'd look like or how it'd make you feel? @cheryawa It is not instantly visible to you because you identify with the body and not your pure being. No matter how much you use your mind/imagination, you are who you are regardless of the imagines playing in the head. I could think of a panda a million times, imagine what it's like being a panda a thousand more, that doesn't make me into a panda when I still know myself to be a person.@4dbarbie-backup

Here's a scale of emotions you'll go through in your journey, from bottom to top: apathy, grief, fear, hostility, anger, indifference, acceptance, freedom finally - and then unlimited, independent joy. @4dbarbie-backup It’s not an euphoric feeling either but a real feeling of knowing and with that - indifference and power. It is very calm and serene, as if nothing can disturb you. @adadisciple

I've been looking at the things I want as existing for me to experience them. When I have a desire, I experience it as something that already belongs to me because everything is coming from (within) me. @4dbarbie-backup

NON-DUALISM

"It is the Self that believes there is a person and is conscious of being IT." - Ada B.

Let's break the word down first. “Non” of course means “no” or “not.” And “dual” means “two.” So, non-dual means not two. It says there is only one. This is referring to you, awareness [or consciousness], that there is only you, [...] the only thing that exists. You are the true reality. The only purpose for awareness is to observe, to oversee, to be. Nothing more, nothing less. For example, awareness is human, it can take on a human form, but human is not awareness or defines awareness as a whole. A human is simply a temporary form, but awareness is always free to be aware of any other form @itzalizeyyy

Whatever you imagine is the same as seeing it in the physical world, because both are still being an observed experience by the awareness, and therefore both are the same, as one (imagination). @itzalizeyyy

Helpful metaphors: When you watch a movie, you know it is a movie bc you are outside of it. you are observing it. now what about the characters in the movie? they dont know its a movie bc they are not outside of it. they think they are just regular ppl and they dont see the truth, their true selfs: which is just characters in a movie. @msperfect777 The ego is like your character in the game (of life), it's already a "manifestation" so it can't manifest (just like a book can't write itself or another book). You are aware of a character you go through life with. @consciousnessbaddie

Ego Death is then the disappearance of the egoistic sense of Self. You feel that your are no longer that.You don't disappear; you don't lose anything. There's no reason to fear losing your body, or losing anything. Yet, most of us are fearful that we're going to lose our body and be nothing. That's a serious error. You could be a hundred bodies! When the idea 'I am this body' dies, the witness does not. Death is merely the idea 'I have lost my body'. What you think yourself to be before death continues to be after death. Your sense of Self survives. @4dbarbie-backup

In Non Dualism, the goal is to stop identifying with ego and realize who you are.You see there's no seperation between you and anything so that means everything you once "desired" is already who you are. You never feel the sense of desire again because of this. Any "physical materialization" that happens after will not seem like such a big deal, since it was already who they were to begin with. @iamthat-iam

"I am that, I have always been that. All is well. There are no mistakes. I am in my right place." All you have to do is realize/ know your are not the mind (= identitiy, character, ego). Robert Adams

Self-Inquiry

" To know the source as source and appearance as appearance, and oneself as the source only is self-realization " - Ada B.

The mind is doing a good job actually, because it bites you and kicks you and teases you, because if it doesnt do that, then you'll want to make this limited feel your home.@lains-reality

Every thought is a thing of limitation. Therefore when we quiet the mind, we still these limiting thoughts and this infinite Being that we are becomes self obvious to us. We have convinced ourselves over the millenniums that we are these limited bodies, and we think it takes time to let go of these concepts of limitation. But time is a thing of the ego, it's a thought. @4dbarbie-backup

Learn the art of being aware of you (awareness). [...] You must not become what you already are, as the detached witness of every thought or sensation that comes and goes. [...] The practice of self-inquiry is returning to the fact of who and what you are. @anon-i-mus

It's a kind of surrendering but to me, truthfully and honestly, it felt more like a giving up. Even if it makes you miserable, accept the person you're identified with until you no more fear it or care if you stay the same. @4dbarbie-backup

-> Questions to ask yourself

Detachment

"Transcend your desires and your fears and you will have everything." - Ada B.

As Buddha taught, the root of suffering is attachment. It is not having the emotions and thoughts [...] but resisting or supressing them, and resisting the transitory nature of life and all things. Emotions and thoughts pass. No big deal. It is holding on to them when they are just coming up to leave or pass through that causes suffering. @lains-reality You need not stop thinking. Just cease being interested. It is disinterestedness that liberates. If you say, “There's no problem,” they won't vanish because you're saying, “There's no problem.” You're mentally holding onto the problem and therefore sustaining it. Erase the problem from your mind means to know (be aware) that everything is perfect and then the problem is necessarily non-existent. Basically, let go of it, because the problem is just an illusion. @4dbarbie-backup

You then ask how to stop being "Vanessa" ? - the reason you can't stop is because it's ALL YOU THINK YOU ARE. For example: You're driving a car. "I AM" is the car. You know how to drive it because you're already driving it by being Vanessa. Vanessa is something you add to the "I AM" and not you. You can't stop being Vanessa while being Vanessa! I think that's what everyone keeps asking: Vanessa wants to be Lara, not awareness [first]. @4dbarbie-backup

To talk of re-uniting the person with the self is also not right, because there is no person, only a mental picture given a false reality by conviction. Nothing was divided and there is nothing to unite. You are That. @4dbarbie-backup Nothing can remove your being. Nothing has ever stained your being.@lains-reality You think you have to do this and that because you think you're it, and you should act from it. That is not the case. There's nothing to do except disbelieve. But disbelieving and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. @4dbarbie-backup

Detachment is not lonely. It's freedom and it's real love. Needing is selfish, it's self-centered. The self has no preference and it's because of that that it can be everything. @4dbarbie-backup

Some of you are on this path for a while but to some extent still are identified with ego and that's OK. Don't get caught up in "your" expectations of what self-realization is supposed to be like. The expectations are making you turn this into a task, when it is supposed to be effortless. Yes, we have talked about feeling peaceful once you've realized yourself, but you're going to need to drop the expectations. It's okay if ego isn't completely grasping it, ego isn't real and it isn't who you are. @iamthat-iam

Fear is an invitation to remember who you truly are. Acknowledging fear doesn't make you any less worthy of or further away from what you truly desire. Similarly, acknowledging your shadows does not dim the Light that you are. The shadows you battle against are simply the seeming absence of you. Becoming entangled in the world of shadows is simply the forgetting of your Self; and Light casts shadows that come and go only to remember itself. The truth is that Light knows no opposition or enemy. Shadows have no separate existence from Light. Your fears are made of you. @lains-reality

The more I detached from ego, the freer I was to imagine what ego wanted without interference from conflicting thoughts/thoughts that "oppose" the desire. @iamthat-iam In fact, abandon all imaginings and know yourself as you are. Self-knowledge is detachment. All craving is due to a sense of insufficiency. @4dbarbie

To anyone who also wonders "how am I still picking this ego?": how many times have you thought about tomorrow? next week? future plans? there's your answer. and the worries about "life" come from them too. "if I don't prepare for/worry about this event that'll happen, I'll have to deal with the consequences of this action" you're telling yourself you will keep waking up as this exact same ego over and over. @glitterdoll888

If you come straight from Law of Assumption or Law of Attraction please keep on reading this last section!

“The simplest answer is usually the right one!.” - Occam’s razor

I think, that what we call 'manifestation' is life itself. i do not mean life in the way that you live A life, like its happening outside of you. i mean it as: it is natural & normal to manifest, its existance itself. it is not something you have, it just is. 'manifestation' is just life itself. it's how all works & is.@lains-reality

The similarity between ND and LOA is in the fact that What you’re aware of, is. LOA’s inner self is still ego. To talk about fulfilling self means fulfilling ego. There is nothing to fulfill if you are the Self and the only one that needs to be fulfilled is an ego, you’re still catering to an ego. @adadisciple

Please, please, understand that you don't have to DO anything! You are always awareness,you will never lack anything. Please stop worrying about the "physical" world and stop trying to materialize things within it! Non Dualism isn't a "new manifestation method" to "get what you want," you are realizing you never lacked anything this whole time. @iamthat-iam

The way the sun rises up in the morning, in the same way Vanessa happens to awareness. It is natural. Do you try to make it happen? It comes by itself (because you choose it as you).@adadisciple For example "I am a body" is a thought that runs automatically ("subconscious), because we do not look at it/know it, we have just accepted we are bodies and that's why we "see" a body. @4dbarbie-backup

You just need to allow something else to happen, not try to make it so!! You cannot help being what you are: Vanessa is the absolute to you now. But if she can be TO YOU, if she happens TO YOU, who is YOU? Your Vanessa "I" runs on autopilot, she is a symbol. She has no free will. To the Self, she is only an idea. She has been conditioned and programmed to think the way she does, it’s the only way she knows how to function. And that’s fine, let her be. Just don’t pick her as you.If she were a random stranger on the street, you would have no concern about her life. If you were Lara now, where would Vanessa be in your thoughts? That is the behavior you should strive for in your thinking, dispassion, disinterest, detachment. Let the thought of being her go. Just let them BE. The way you let Vanessa be. And you let Vanessa be by thinking that’s all you are, that’s what is true. @adadisciple

If you want a "method", then the very best method of all methods is to quiet the mind to see the Being that you are. Pose the question: “Who am I?” and if other thoughts come in, ask, “To whom are these thoughts?” The answer is “To me.” “Well, who am I?” and you're back on the track, seeking to see your Self. @4dbarbie-backup I sit in the feeling while focusing on something else in the present moment, and it usually goes away. @iamthat-iam

Non Dualism does not believe in “affirming” or “persisting” because if awareness is already everything, then it does not need to affirm or persist for its desire if it already has [or IS] its own desire. @itzalizeyyy Like repetition, it keeps you in lack. Do you need to remind yourself that you are a man or a woman? That experience, that form, is already being observed, is already being aware of. You know 'your' gender. @4dbarbie-backup

The truth is, there was no "3D" or "4D" in the first place. there is no imagination VS reality. nothing is real, it has always been illusion VS illusion. If anytime you get thoughts like "why is it not here" "why don't i see it" "why hasn't it manifested yet" you are immediately identifying with your human self. [...] Relying on the human senses will always be our downfall. @iamthat-iam

If you don't have the discipline to at least cut off all this excess of knowledge of information, you'll only be making it tougher on yourself. After you do that, stick to it until you're ready to let go and rely on yourself. Until you start behaving like the teacher and one is needed no more. You create the teacher because you think someone is more knowledgeable than you. That's fine for now, but trust the teacher, listen and apply.@4dbarbie-backup

I have Psychiatrist & doctors appointments, work, still need to eat, want to commit suicide? Psychiatrist appointment. What is that for? To correct your thinking, isn't that right? Reconditioning, changing, or even eliminating patterns of the mind. Now, I'm not telling you to stop going/stop working and or eating. That would be irresponsible of me. Leave your mind alone, that is all. @4dbarbie-backup

DO NOT ACTIVELY INTERFERE in ego's life or try to stop living that life while still being very attached to it, i.e. still identifying with that ego. Let the person continue to live it's life and fulfill it's obligations like studying, but maintain the knowing that it's not who you are. @iamthat-iam

But what about random things that I wasn't even aware of before they came? It's very simple, really. You are aware of being Vanessa and with Vanessa come specific beliefs. Characters have their own beliefs like certain weather can give you a cold, certain environments have insects etc. Thoughts dominate you only because you are interested in them. By resisting evil, you merely strengthen it. If you are "I AM", it means you are not the person experiencing the 3D world/thoughts/circumstances, you never were. The problem is excessive interest, leading to self-identification. Whatever you are engrossed in you take to be real. @4dbarbie-backup

[remember-the-fanfics]

Heya! Saw you were in need of some hazbin requests- would you be okay writing something angsty? I liked your earthborn idea, so you can use that concept for the reader <3 maybe teen!reader is having a rly tough time mentally at the hotel? Panic attacks, loss of appetite, the whole lot of it. You can take this anywhere it goes, I won’t mind. And if you can’t/don’t want to write it no worries! (Also, on a serious note I am getting help currently. Please don’t worry about my mental well-being ❤️)

So abrupt ending, ran out of idea and then got a headache, hope you're doing well. <3

Cut because readers thoughts get real panicked

You weren't a sinner, you haven't even died yet.

Why were you here?

Was everyone right? Did you truly deserve this?

They can't be-, you are still mortal. Then why were you even in Hell?

Why Why why-

You couldn't tell anyone, not that you don't trust them! All of the people (are they even still people if they are dead? Demons?), are nice and you just don't want to worry them with the truth.

-

"Have any of you seen (Y/n)? They are always willing to help me with taste testing my food?" Niffty asked after finishing cooking for the hotel.

"Haven't actual seen them today. I think they are sleeping though the day. I would." Said Husk, cleaning a glass.

"They've been skittish the past few days when they aren't in their room." Alastor stated, "More jumpy that usual."

"(Y/n) haven't been like this since they first got here." Said Charlie with a remorseful look. "I hope I didn't push them to hard on redemption, I know they can be sensitive about certain things."

"Like how all of this could be for nothing?" Said Alastor with a chuckle. "They might realize that and miss their old life. Realizing that they can't actually get better than hell."

"I'm checking on them." Said Vaggie, getting up and heading towards (Y/n)'s room.

"Just don't be too pushy! And make sure they've eaten! And water!" Said Charlie after Vaggie.

-

Vaggie remembers the look on your face when you realized you were in Hell being the one who found you wondering aimlessly. Your transition to a sinner wasn't a pretty one, after accepting Charlie's offer at the hotel the two didn't see you for almost two weeks. Vaggie thought you left until Charlie convinced you to come out of your room.

You look lost when you opened the door. The two only realized that you were young, not a child but not completely an adult. Charlie didn't force you to talk about what you were thinking, just got you to eat something and drink water then take a shower with some borrowed clothes.

Vaggie had moved you to a closer room to the two of them. You didn't have anything to move out so you just followed the two. They kept an eye on you since, making sure you realized that this wasn't the end.

Vaggie grumbled on her breath, standing infront of your door. Knocking with no answer.

"Kid, I know you're in there. Just want to make sure you're okay."

"..."

"(Y/n) did one of these assholes do something? I'll kick their ass if they did." Vaggie continued. "... You haven't closed yourself off like this since you first got here."

Hearing a sniffle after bring that up, clued Vaggie in what might be wrong.

"Look, I'm not like Charlie and will break the door down instead of talking to you for 2 weeks waiting for you to open it."

" 'm fine Vaggie."

"When was the last time you ate?"

"..."

"Or drank any water? Or even took a shower?"

"Give me a second."

-

(Y/n) would have jump out of the window if it wasn't that far. They looked for any escape route from Vaggie and the conversation they would have. (Y/n) could hide in the closet but they spent their childhood in there, they dont want to go back.

With a quick push the trash under their bed and make themselves presentable, they open the door and Vaggie look unimpressed.

"Come on, Niffty made food. You're eating." Said Vaggie not giving (Y/n) a chance to say no by grabbing their hand and pulling them along.

"Okay..."

"Charlie gonna want to know what upset you." Said Vaggie, (Y/n) groaned in response.

"Can't we just say I'm fine? I don't want to talk about it."

"You're not fine. You've not closed yourself off in awhile."

"I needed some me time?"

"That shouldn't include ignoring your health."

-

Well it was the most awkward dinner, everyone was trying not to stare at (Y/n)'s disheveled shape while eating. (Y/n) ate almost half the plate before pushing it away.

"I'm full." They said.

"You haven't eaten in a week, you need to finish." Said Husk.

"That's all I can eat right now. If I try I'll probably vomit it back up which will put me back in square one." Said (Y/n), trying not to get annoyed with the others for caring.

"You still need to hydrate." Vaggie said putting down a glass of water infront of them, (Y/n) grimace at the glass as water didn't taste good to them.

"Fine just can you all go back to eatting your own food?" (Y/n) said, sipping on the water while everyone grumbled and went back to their own plates of food. Everyone became silent while eating when it just became to loud in (Y/n)'s head again.

-

You were fine, everything was fine. This water was... water. The food was fine.

Everything was just fine. Everyone was fine.

Why then didn't it feel fine?

Why couldn't you feel fine?

Because you were in hell-

Like all the people your family said would be there-

People like

You.

But you shouldn't be here. You never died, you don't even look like the people down here.

Down down down, why does you life always go that direction?

You really should breath.

-

The first one to notice was the only one who didn't take her eyes off of (Y/n), Charlie, seeing that (Y/n) just stops everything. Charlie went to them quickly, not touching them yet. Crouching down next to their chair, having everyone watching now. Vaggie gotten out of her own chair ready to help at any moment.

"(Y/n)? Are you-?"

(Y/n) took a quick inhale, barely putting down their glass in time for their body to exhale. Charlie realized that they were breathing too fast while (Y/n) realized they were panicking infront of people.

"(Y/n)?" Asked Charlie, startling (Y/n) out of their thoughts and almost out of their chair. They looked like a frighten animal at Charlie.

"...Fine, 'm fine, t'is fine, promise." (Y/n) said, trying to not worry Charlie.

"Just focus on your breath." Said Charlie. "Just close your eyes and focus, in for 5, hold for 5, and exhale for 5."

(Y/n) squeezed their eyes shut, trying to focus their ragged breathing to calm down.

Just focus

After a few minutes, (Y/n) keep their eyes closed not wanting to face everyone.

"Better?" Asked Vaggie.

"Hmm." (Y/n) mumbled in response.

"Want to take a shower, while I get Niffty to fix up your room?"

"Hm- yeah."

-

While (Y/n) being in the shower, Charlie and Vaggie went with Niffty to (Y/n)'s room. Which just was littered with all things; trash, clothes, and random things.

"I never seen their room this messy before, hope there aren't any bugs. If there are any, they wouldn't be for long." Said Niffty getting to work quickly.

Charlie helped by ridding the bed of covers, pillows, and sheets. Vaggie taking anything that seemed dirty to be washed and getting new bedding for the bed, while looking for clean clothes for (Y/n) to wear.

"What do you think bothering them so much?" Asked Charlie.

"Probably thinking that they'll be suck here forever." Said Niffty.

"...That's probably true but they believe in redemption that I'm working on, are they second guess it?"

"(Y/n) has a habit of pushing their problems away until they can't." Said Husk, standing at the door way with a drink. "I'll take the clothes to them if you want." He said to Vaggie before she handed him the clothes.

"But they know we are here for them. Why can't they trust us with helping them though this?"

"They are probably use to going though it by themselves, they don't usually talk about who they were before hell." Said Vaggie, putting a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "We'll be here to help them up again when they need it."

"I know, I just want the help them before it gets to this." Said Charlie before (Y/n) appeared in the doorway of their room.

"Oh wow, you all did a good job. It looks way better." Said (Y/n) nervously after hearing what Charlie said. "I apologize for what happened. Not use to people wanting to help me before it becomes their problem when it gets to big."

"Well we'll be here if you ever want to talk about it." Said Charlie.

"Thanks. I'll try if it happens again."