#perhaps not the most satisfying narrative but his story is already over when it starts. I think something quiet and kind is a good for him

[shepards-folly]

Sleeping still, are you dead? Do you want to be, is that all that's left?

[Lyrics in the art are from Necromancer by Joy Again. The caption is from Winter Snakes by Joy Again]

[jmdbjk]

Episode 6: Begin and Again

Beyond the Star, produced by HYBE Media Studio

Why is it titled Begin AND Again and not Begin Again? That was my question. Let's delve...

It opens with Hobi working on PROOF, the anthology album. I'm guessing the clip we see was filmed late 2021. Maybe between October and December. He says the concept of PROOF was to organize their numerous narratives and many other parts of their story.

Recording Yet to Come...

While being interviewed individually, I think the question proposed is what are the thoughts that come to mind when thinking about the past ten years and Tae says this: "The vigor of youth, our time as young boys, the time we didn't receive any acknowledgement, and when we pressed on in spite of that, I think that time was the most passionate moment in my life."

Yoongi said perhaps because of their situation at the time of trying to gain ground in their career, they set very high goals and when they achieved them, they weren't satisfied, they wanted to press on to the next goal and that desire was their strength and their weakness, as he says: "their weapon and the chink in their armor."

Jungkook says he often thinks of what he would have become if it wasn't for BTS. He has received so much positive influence from those surrounding him. He feels very lucky to have met the members and believes BTS and everything related to BTS are what created the path for him to mature as a singer and as a person.

Watching them record Run BTS (the song) was amazing. I love that song and watching them have fun in the studio is a healing sight.

They cherish their youth, their first ten years, their "Chapter 1" but they agree, its time to open a new chapter. Begin and again. The pause of the pandemic and beginning again after it was over. The pause for enlistment and the need to begin again when they are back. A lot of beginnings and agains. Begin the period of personal growth. Become BTS again at some point.

PTD Seoul in March 2021 was a situation where a limited number of attendees would be allowed and they would not be able to stand or cheer or sing along or any of those normal things that audiences do during a live concert. It would be a unique situation and possibly may never happen again in the future of live music concerts.

K-Army were thrilled, nervous, excited.

Waiting to go up on stage for sound check they already notice how quiet it is. They speculate amongst themselves whether Army will accidentally cheer. It's funny because we can see both sides as it happens. Yep, the audience accidentally let out an excited cheer upon seeing BTS for the first time after so long and the members are amused when they hear it.

They get started with sound check and reassure Army that they will get through this together.

In the second half of Ep. 6 each member speaks about their thoughts in this initial period where they are beginning "anew" after the pandemic, after they've achieved everything they have so far, after reflecting back on where they've been. They are doing personal things, Jin is fishing, the rap line working on personal projects, etc.

Yoongi says (at the time of this interview) they don't know what to do next (as a group). This is the beginning of their next chapter. Personally, Yoongi says again for the nth time that nothing goes as planned or expected. He would like everyone to have time to figure it out. He personally needs to reconnect with himself.

One of the moments is when Yoongi is in LA recording his part of the collab with Juice WRLD. He is telling the producer that he doesn't want to ruin Juice WRLD's song and the producer says to him: "you can't ruin it, you are only going to make it better"... Suga of BTS is still coming to understand the status he holds in the music industry.

Hobi tells us he will not waste the time until the group is whole again. He has things he wants to accomplish, personal dreams he wants to fulfill. I believe this is one of the reasons why Jack in the Box was ready first and why he enlisted earlier than the others. He was restless to get back into his work.

Jin is a simple guy. He talked about how (at the time of this interview) they had made it to the top and whatever happened, happened, he just wants all the members to live their lives as they want to. As BTS, he wanted the group to be able to do whatever they and the fans wanted to do. He was simply excited to bring back fresh fish to the team and staff after a day-long fishing trip.

RM says the team was telling each other their thoughts on what BTS could be in their 30s and mentioning he was working with The Neptunes which is Pharrell's duo. I wonder when that collab will see the light of day.

The maknae line was wondering how to find themselves since they have tied their identities to BTS, they don't know who they are yet as individuals and they wonder what it will be like. Jimin says they won't know until they live it.

Yoongi says, this is the time for them to get to know themselves.

[doubledgesword-2]

Soulmate Au Part 3

Part 1 and Part 2 are here! Requests for the Adult trio are open!

WARNING DUB-CON AND EXPLICIT SMUT +18 Please do not te upload somewhere else!!

You started to suspect something was wrong with you when you walked deep into the forest, looking to harvest the crops. Your mind screamed at you to keep walking. Walk away from this place and leave them behind. The minute your feet took one step forward, the most intense migraine struck you. You tried to walk forwards and work through the pain, but it became too debilitating to the point your legs gave under you, and your body crumbled to the ground.

Your eyes clenched close, and your body tucked in into a fetal position, your hands clutching your shirt in hopes it would lessen the pain. Suddenly, you heard a rustle behind you, but couldn't really be bothered to turn and look at the disturbance.

"Oh, here you are. I was worried something might have happened" Chrollo came from behind a tree, his coat gracefully moving as he came to stand before your crippled form.

He sat down beside you taking your body into his lap. His hands stroke your hair as tears came down from your eyes.

"(Y/N), this is such a nice and peaceful place you've built" his voice was so calm, and his hands went through your locks with such comfort that you were calming down for a second.

He took a deep breath, eyes close with a smile as if truly enjoying the quiet and the light breeze blowing through. Chrollo leaned down close to you, your body shaking in pain still. His hands petted away a couple of strands of your hair as his lips came close to your ear.

"You weren't thinking of leaving now, were you?"

The tone of his voice made the question feel like a gentle threat. But a threat nonetheless. He kissed your temple and kept running his hands through your hair, breathing in once more, smiling at the sunbeams coming through the leaves and shining down on the two of you.

"I am delighted you have decided to stay with us. It would have broken all our hearts to know you weren't happy here" he looked down at your form, no longer distressed but still slightly shaking and sniffling.

"You are happy here, are you not?"

You nodded weakly in response, and he beamed at you. He picked you up gently, bridal style, while his hand carried the woven basket underneath you.

"Let's go, I'll prepare dinner tonight. Just the two of us, little treasure. All is well".

Chrollo brought you all the way to the cottage, filling the air with casual banter along the way. His excitement grew whenever the prospect of a new book came into the conversation.

"It's very eloquent poetry. I am sure it'll sound melodic coming from your lips".

Chrollo walked into the cottage with you still in his arms. The other two were nowhere to be seen, and it confirmed what he had said: you two were truly alone. Chrollo settled you on the sofa, your fluffy cat meowing around his legs. He crouched to pet the cat's head.

"What are you craving today, love?" Your eyes were close, dried tear streaks under them, but you opened them to see him smiling warmly at you while still petting your cat.

"Chef's choice," you replied simply, trying a smile of your own, but it came out more like a grimace.

"Mmm, hard choice, I'll surprise you then" he gave your forehead a kiss and moved away from your vision line.

After leaving you on the sofa, Chrollo had draped his coat over the chair, washed his hands, and got everything ready for the food. Your eyes were droopy, body tired after your horrific headache, so you drifted off into a nice comfy nap.

A fantastic smell wafted around the house, waking you up to find you have drooled on the decorative pillow. Chrollo was in front of you, smiling at your cute and sleepy face.

You shot up, looking around as if you weren't in your house, and you didn't know who was in front of you. Then it all came back, the realization hit you, and you wiped the drool with the back of your hand. Chrollo chuckled at you and got up to kiss the top of your head, lingering for a second, hugging you to him.

“Dinner is ready, come on love."

A bit disoriented and groggy, you got up and went to the table. Everything was set up with candles surrounding the dinner table and the kitchen. A single rose in a vase was in the middle of the table, the same vase that you had changed the flowers that fateful day they had found you. Chrollo was waiting beside the chair he had pulled out for you. He had a proud smile as you went to sit at the chair, and he gently pushed you in. The whole thing was adorable, and it would have been romantic if you weren't wary of the man. He sat down as well and was looking at you with loving eyes. You pretended he wasn't fixed on you as you took the first bite out of your food.

"I hope it's to your liking. I had never made this one before" he had ended up making your favorite dish, and you were happy to have it; the food was truly delicious.

The fact that he knew your favorite dish shouldn't give you the feeling of dread, and yet it did. You knew the trio had most undoubtedly memorized everything about you, no matter how small the detail was. Still, you couldn't wrap your head around the idea.

"It's delicious, thank you" you forced a smile at him, and he chuckled under his breath, looking down at his own plate.

"You don't have to pretend with me (Y/N). I'm not Hisoka or Illumi; I'm a simple thief but a gentleman at heart. I know you're uncomfortable, and this situation is new to you. I don't blame you".

You looked down to your plate, feeling a bit embarrassed that he noticed your inner turmoil. His words should have offered comfort, but you couldn't feel it or find any. Instead, they further pushed down the heavy stone in your stomach.

"I-I don't know how to feel, still. I'm adjusting, trying to at least" you took another bite and gave him a close-lipped smile as you chewed the food.

Chrollo's dark eyes pierced yours; he wasn't buying it.

"Then perhaps we haven't fully helped you experience love in this relationship," he gave you a closed eye smile and took a mouthful of the food.

You felt shivers run up your spine, body tingling in fear and dread as if you were at the dropping point of a big coaster ride. Your heart beat faster to the point where you started hearing it in your ears.

The door seemed like an excellent option right now.

Your hands went under the table to grip the edge of the chair as you tried to ground yourself back into the moment. 'He didn't say anything. He just made a suggestion with a smile', you told yourself, looking for the logic in his words, and calming yourself. But it wasn't working, you had felt it. Felt the tiniest flare of his aura reach out to you in silent warning. Nothing big but just enough to put you back into place. There were so many meanings behind that little jesting phrase that it made you anxious.

"Are you alright? You seem a little pale" he placed his utensil down, getting out of the chair and crouching near you.

His cold hand reached to your cheek, caressing you and making you look down at him.

"Perhaps some air will do you good," he grabbed both your hands in his and pulled you up and out of the chair.

You were in a slight daze watching him as he placed a coat around you and dressed in his own. Chrollo exited the cottage with you around his arm. The two of you looked like a loving couple taking a stroll in the middle of winter.

As you walked into the forest, passing by trees and bushes taking in the sights under the moonlight, Chrollo pulled a book from inside his coat and handed it to you. You took it. Still, a bit shook but figured some reading might do you good.

"I borrowed it," the way he said borrow told you he meant stole "figured you might like it" he side-eyed you as your doe-like eyes looked up to him in question.

You looked down at the cover seeing it was a very elusive limited edition copy of one of your favorite authors. Your heart skipped a beat, and for once in a long while, you were pleasantly surprised and excited. Your lips pulled into an unconscious smile, and by the time you had noticed you were smiling and tried to hide it with a serious look, Chrollo had already smiled and locked the sight in his mind. You looked precious.

"Why don't you read it out loud. I'm sure it's a good night for some reading if you don't mind?" His suave and smooth voice questioned, but you knew better than to resist him.

So you nodded, muttering a thank you. He nodded back, closing his eyes briefly and then looking back at you with expectation. You opened the first page and started to read the prologue as the two of you walked. Your lips never stuttering a word as you got lost in the story, pulled into it to the point were you forgot his eyes on you.

Chrollo was looking around the trees, admiring the majestic scenery as your words filled the nightly air. He knew your tone was hesitant and scared. You hated reading out loud and especially to him. You'd told him it was something about the sound of your voice in your ears. But he loved it. The way you pronounced or mispronounced words made his heart flutter. How your tone changed when you got lost in the narrative and started muttering small comments for the characters under your breath. Your little mannerisms made you adorable in his eyes, and the more he looked at you, the more he wanted.

He wasn't satisfied.

At the beginning of his relationship with Hisoka, there were some bumps he had to overcome when it came to the clown. But once he did, he could say he came to love the jester. When Illumi came into the picture as his second soulmate, he was a bit surprised. He, at some point, even doubted the assassin could actually be capable of emoting or loving. But one night, when they were all together tucked away in a vacation home right in front of the beach, he realized something about themselves.

He was sitting on a comfy armchair sofa in the balcony, book in hand, a glass of wine resting on its wooden arm. The sun was setting as cliche as it may sound, but his eyes rested on the page's words. When suddenly, he felt a head fall on his lap.

Assuming it was Hisoka, he didn't even glance down in hopes of secretly riling him up. Though curiosity got the better of him, so his eyes did glance down, and he was surprised. On his lap, long black hair fanned across it, was Illumi with his eyes close and a peaceful expression on his face.

Chrollo's heart fluttered.

He felt his cheeks heat up as he stole glances of the assassin. He almost closed the book, but he was afraid the sound would shake the scene and make the Illumi leave. So he kept pretending to read, not being able to fully concentrate with the comforting weight of Illumi on his lap.

They bonded after that, growing closer together. Hisoka was proud of them. The troupe had always been his family but getting to feel this kind of love was different.

That's when he realized soulmates were meant to be together for a reason. So when your name appeared on their skin out of nowhere, he knew they had to find you. You were not being loved as you should. That's why he understands your apprehension and your wariness of them. They're not exactly good in lawful standards, and their moral compasses might be slightly broken. But if there's one thing they know for sure, loving you is one of their main goals.

You just need to see it.

"As soon-"your reading got interrupted by a pair of lips on yours.

Chrollo's hands grabbed both sides of your face and brought you close for a fevered kiss. The book fell out of your hands as they came to rest on his arms.

"I couldn't resist," he mumbled out of breath against your lips. You, on the other hand, were freaking out a bit.

The fact that you were in the middle of a clearing in the forest was making you anxious. Chrollo dived in again, looking for your lips, but you turned your face away bashfully. You looked down to the grass seeing the book and bending down to pick it up as if he hadn't just kissed away your breath.

He was a bit hurt, but he had to remember that you weren't like them. You needed a little more coaxing to come out of your shell. He would help.

You straightened, inspecting the book for any creases or tears in the pages. You dusted away some dirt, closing the book delicately and looking up at Chrollo.

You frowned at the sight. Not that it wasn't a pleasant one, he was handsome and pretty, but you weren't buying it. At some point, you were pretty sure you were in soulmate denial.

"What are you doing?" You asked meekly, seeing as he had shaken away his coat and was shirtless at the moment.

Your fight or flight sense was glaring up, and you hugged the book to your stomach. Chollo placed his coat in the grass, open as if it was a picnic blanket. He turned to eye you, his eyes no longer cold.

"I know you're afraid, but there's nothing to be afraid of. Let me show you just how much I love you," that was your cue.

He took a step, and you mirrored him taking one back. This made him slightly tilt his head to the side, the look playfully menacing. Chrollo took another step and your nen flared up in warning, this time stronger than the last time you had tried this. He looked proud instead of intimidated, and it angered you.

The loving way he looked at your nen didn't help your case, and so you attacked. Your nen moved fast, striking the spot where he was. But he was fast, as quick as Hisoka, and that was a disadvantage to you.

Chrollo had suddenly disappeared and left you in the middle of the clearing. You leaned down to quickly put the book out of harm's way and then stood in attention. The moon shone brightly on you, giving your dangerous look and angelic glow. He could've groaned and moaned out loud just like Hisoka would've done, but he bit his lip instead, looking at you through the foliage.

Your ears were strained, searching for any noise as little as it may be. But there was no noise when he came, fast and swift bringing you down. The two of you rolled around on the grass, he chuckled as you winded up, straddling him. Your face scrunched up in concentration. His hand lifted to your cheek, caressing it, which made you flinch for a second. Chrollo then flipped the two of you, causing you to shriek at the suddenness. He pinned down your wrists, bringing them beside your head. Your wide-eyed looked at him startled, yet something was growing in your stomach's pit.

"You're getting better. Illumi should be proud," he leaned down, bringing his lips close to your ear. "Your nen is worth stealing, I wouldn't mind, if it meant keeping you as well" he bit your earlobe, making you bite your lips.

You tried to wriggle your wrists out of his hold, but his hands tightened around them. Chrollo started kissing your neck, nibbling and sucking his way down your collarbone. Still, you kept muffling your noises, biting your lip, and holding your tongue.

He wouldn't have it. Chrollo bit down in between your neck and shoulder, making you moan loudly.

"That's more like it," he chuckled against the spot soothing it with a lick and kiss, "Do you think I could steal some more noises from your lips?" He asked, bringing his lips close to yours.

"Would you let me?" You could feel his breath on your lips as he talked.

Chrollo kissed you hard, tongue poking your entrance and biting your lower lip so you wouldn't deny him. He sucked on your tongue, relishing in your futile attempts to keep quiet. His hips started grinding slowly into yours, pressing down his hard-on on your clothed spot. He was only wearing his pants, back and chest bared under the moonlight and shining with a thin layer of sweat. He separated for some air, leaving you a bit dazed and fuzzy. His hands coming down to your clothes gripping your shirt and tugging at it. That jerked you up from your state, making you gasp, your hands coming to his own grabbing them. You tried to pull them away from you, but he took both of your wrists in one of his hands and pinned them hard on the ground.

You groaned at the slight pain, and he took the opportunity of your raised arms to slide the shirt up and jumble it around your hands in makeshift bounds. He smiled down at your bra and the way your brows scrunched up in struggle. Your fight was strong, but he was stronger.

Chrollo leaned down to your chest, kissing the curve of your breast pressed on the bra. He bit down on the mound, making you groan.

"You're so soft, so beautiful," he whispered to your chest as his hand slipped the breast out of the bra. He massages the nipple, head dipping, and licking the other to attention. You started squirming under him, bringing your tied hands to stop him but ended up hugging his head closer to your chest, a moaning mess.

A fire was rising in between your legs, and you felt the electricity go down your spine.

'What were they doing to you?!' You screamed in your mind trying to fight the feeling.

Chrollo's hand left your mound, his mouth kept sucking on the other, as he sneaked down to your waistline. You had been wearing a comfortable attire since it was a bit hot, and you were tending to the crops today before your accident. He easily slipped down and into your panties. His calloused and experienced hands didn't waste any time and felt your slit. He smirked when he found you wet, but not enough for him. Chrollo gathered some slick and gently rubbed on your hooded pearl. You jerked under him, muffling a moan by biting your lip. His lips left your peak, glistening and wet under the dim moonlight. He went to the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent, and planting open-mouthed kisses as his other hand maintained a steady rhythm on your nub. He didn't change the speed, going in gentle circles on your bundle of nerves.

You were getting desperate, feeling the pleasure rising in you, and pushing shame to the back of your mind. Your hips bucked unconsciously, and he tutted you like a child, smiling in victory against your neck with closed eyes.

"Tch, tch, tch, not yet, I think you deserve some punishment for being so stubborn with me" he bit your earlobe, making you whine in response.

Your body struggled against him, but he let his weight drop on you, making you stay still. Chrollo's hand then went quicker and quicker, driving you deep into pleasure but not all the way. You whined again, trying to move away from his hand, but he went faster. Suddenly you felt the ice-cold rush from the tip of your toes to your core, pleasure flooding your system like a wave. Your body shook under his, toes curling, and you let out a moan closing your eyes at all the sensations.

Chrollo groaned with you, his pants too tight for comfort. He grinned against you softly and sat up, still straddling you. In your high, you didn't felt as he pulled the rest of your clothes down and his arousal out, the tip an angry red as he stroke it, shuddering under the feeling. He then pushed into you, making you gasp and open your eyes wide to the see him. His eyes closed, and he bit his lip briefly. Then his dark eyes opened slowly, looking down at you in adoration. His mouth was slightly opened, breathing heavily at the feeling of your warmth engulfing him. Hair was falling sideways and forwards, almost covering the cross on his forehead. The light glowing behind him gave him a surreal look and feel.

It was euphoric.

You moaned, and he started moving slowly, leaning over you to capture your lips as he sped up. His hands were beside your head, supporting his body as he rocked with you. He rested on his forearms, bringing himself closer to you as he changed speed and slowly rolled his hips, making you feel everything.

"I love you so much," he whispered into your cheek, kissing it afterward.

Chrollo groaned lowly when he bumped into a special spot that made you clench hard around him. You moaned.

"Found it," he chuckled low, speeding up and hitting the same spot over and over.

Your hips buckled, meeting his as he sat up. He gave you a half-lidded look, smiling at you. His hands came to rest on your hips, pressing them down as he rammed inside you. He couldn't take how good you felt, your same walls gripping him and becoming him deeper. He complied, going faster and deeper, making you moan and whine. Chrollo's hand sneaked to your hooded pearl, rubbing it at matching speed with his thrusts.

Your body jerked, heat, and cold consuming you at equal measure. Your body glistened with sweat under the moonlight, making you glow and shine like a jewel worth stealing. Chrollo bit his lip at the picture, wishing he could just have it to look at it all the time. Instead, he committed it to memory, his hand rubbing your nub furiously.

Suddenly your body arched beautifully, your breasts offered to him as you came with a shriek. Pleasure flooded you, making you twitch and shake. He joined you with a groan, head thrown back as his body arched as well, driving his length deep inside you, releasing all of himself into you. Your walls massage him as he thrusts slowly.

The two of you panted heavily.

Chrollo's hands were beside your head, supporting his body as he caught his breath. He looked down at you, your skin looking perfect under the lighting, your lips puffy and slightly opened as your naked chest heaved, making your breasts move up and down. You looked gorgeous, and he couldn't ask for more. He was satisfied, and a sense of fullness filled him at the moment.

He pulled out, making your face scrunch up in pain at the slight discomfort of the tenderness. Tucking himself back in his pants, he zipped them up and laid down beside you. He undid the mess around your wrists, and you pulled them down beside your body, resting the aching muscles. His head was supported on his hand as he laid on his side, looking at you in love. Your eyes were closed, and you seemed to be calm, almost sleeping.

His fingers came to lay on your stomach. The ginger touch made you jump slightly at the suddenness, but otherwise, your eyes remained closed. They moved around your form, tracing your marks, your waves, the way your mounds curved into your chest, your collarbone, and finally, they came to rest on your neck. He caresses it with the back of his hand, coming up to your cheek and staying there.

You opened your eyes slightly, looking at him through a tired glaze. Chrollo smiles warmly, coming close to peck your lips. He pulled the coat around your form, covering you from the night's chill, and gathered you in his arms.

Chrollo stopped to pick up the book you had neatly placed away from the mess and chaos. Smirking at your thoughtfulness. He gave you the book or at least propped it on your stomach as your sleepy form was losing the fight. He carried you all the way back to the cottage, where he placed you on the bed. You turned to the side, and he petted your hair, kissing your head. He came back to put the leftover food away and the dishes in the sink, making sure to turn off the candles. Your cat was eagerly following him like he had treats in his pockets.

Chrollo went back to the room, taking off the rest of his clothes and stripping you of this coat. He draped it on your vanity, the rest of the clothes scattered in a corner of the room. Your fluffy black cat went to them, kneading the fabric and then laying on top.

Chrollo pulled the covers back and brought you close to him, pulling the two of you under the sheets. He snuggled closer to you, the two of you naked as the day you were born. He pressed a kiss to the back of your ear, nuzzling your neck afterward and then resting on top of your head.

"Sleep well, my love," mutters, and you reply with your own muffled and unintelligible goodnight. He smiled, closing his eyes in bliss.

He couldn't wait for the morning to do it all over again.

[clonecumber]

Levet for the character ask! Love him so much.

I’d like to hear your thoughts on him too, actually. Levet could use so much love. He’s a good one.

First impression :I don’t actually think I had much of an impression about Levet? I remembered him, sort of, but it was more in the sense of being aware he at least existed.

Impression now : The only actual adultier adult in this joint. Still waters run very, very deep with this guy, and he’s interesting because you’d have absolutely no way to know how much is going on in his head if he didn’t sometimes open his mouth and drop absolute game-changers. (RIP Ordo, slaughtered where he stood. He was so young.) Sees everything, says nothing, but has a well of intense emotions deep in the center of himself that’s absolutely fascinating to consider.

Calm, mild, reserved, and terrifyingly sharp, but he also has a strict “not my business” policy that I can respect, especially since he seems to adopt it primarily out of respect for the people whose business it actually is. It’s not that he doesn’t care or doesn’t want to care, he just respects boundaries. It’s not his fault you’re all careless with your dirty laundry that he can’t help but notice it when it’s getting blown all over his yard where he’s over here just trying to mind his own business (ignoring that he’s so naturally observant that ‘obvious’ means different things for him than for most people), but he’s still going to go through the trouble to neatly pack it up and give it back to you in a discreet little box and pretend he never saw a thing. We need a thousand more like him. Seems like the kind of guy who you wouldn’t notice was starting to warm up to you, because his default setting is “quietly polite” and “refuses to talk about himself without significant motivation” with absolutely everyone, right up until you hit Max Friendship and you end up with him fussing with your hair while he complains about dirt at you because all he’s got to work with is his little farming book and a lot of passion and that’s fine but being so hyper-competent all the time is hard. I feel like Yayax has figured this out about him, which is why they’re all together all the time. They’re friends.

Favorite moment : When Ordo turns up on Qiilura in full hush hush Secret Squirrel mode, face-to-face with Levet all set to lie, misdirect, and dazzle, and Levet’s just like, “Oh, there you are. Yeah, she’s right up those stairs. Still super pregnant.” in the secret language. And Ordo just like...grinds to a halt. The wind is just gone from his sails.

“...Ah,” he says. And that’s it. That is literally all he can say.

“Yep,” Levet says, and, Ordo - literally in the narrative it says this - Ordo is bracing (bracing!) in case Levet decides to drop any more bombshells, but, nah. The birds tweet a bit and Levet, apparently satisfied that he’s already rocked the Captain’s world enough, just pops his helmet on, politely gestures good-bye, and goes on about his day. I’m sure the 50,000 other major secrets Levet’s carrying around inside his cuirass aren’t any of Ordo’s business, and it would be rude to share.

Idea for a story : ...So up in the Impression Now section I nearly wrote something like, “If, in a surprise soap opera twist, Levet turned out to actually be one of the “dead” Nulls I wouldn’t be surprised”, and...uh...

UH.

(N-8 didn’t fail to gestate. Examination of the genome showed flaws that indicated a high chance of failure to express certain key features, and it was put on freeze instead for future examination. Eventually the motion of put forth that perhaps the key features N-8 lacked could make for a more controllable specimen, if also developed under the new, proven indoctrination program. It could give them a better understanding of exactly where the Null genome failed, and improve any future attempts at enhancement to the product. So CC-3388/0021 was born. dun dun DUN.)

Unpopular opinion : This section doesn’t fit so INSTEAD I’m going to take the opportunity to say that I am extremely curious how Levet - an infantry commander - fell in with a Commando squad to the point where they all tumbled onto Mandalore at the same time and proceeded to live forevermore attached at the hip. What a noodle incident.

Consider: Cov and Levet both convinced they’re the one who adopted the other.

Favorite relationship : The general one he was with Yayax squad, honestly. They didn’t get too much characterization so I can’t go in deep, but whatever they have going on over there seems great for them, and that’s nice.

Favorite headcanon : To this day, Ordo regards Levet going about his “I’m just  humble farmer” routine with vague wariness and every time Levet says anything there’s a tiny little part of Ordo braced for a heart attack. Never forget. (Little known fact that Levet has a terrible sense of humor and finds this very funny.)

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

i saw your post about Charles and what his personality past and part in the story line so i was wondering if u could do the same for vlad? :)

Ah, well, I can at least let you know what I’ve seen so far? I haven’t delved too far into Vlad, and some of his general impressions can be confusing, so I’ll do my best to make it sensible and unbiased! Here you go lovely <33333

Fair warning, there will be mentions of a lot of JPN app content since Vlad and his boys aren’t around much in the ENG app yet.

My general sense of Vlad is basically discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha.

What I mean by this is to say–according to what I’ve read so far–his clan/family were murdered by vampire hunters in cold blood when he was just a young boy. Presumably as a result of that traumatic event, he harbors a sizable enmity towards humanity and kind of lashes out on them in weirdly specific moments of violence. Another aspect of his motivation is something that’s mentioned within Comte’s route; which is that Vlad went through the timespace door on his own one day and allegedly saw a devastated future, where nothing remains of life on earth more or less.

I guess the reason I find him to be so perplexing is that he speaks about his actions in terms of efficiency, while most of the things he does just feel like unhappy outbursts (v often a product of unresolved trauma symptoms, I’d wager.) I also say this because he appears to have no larger pattern to his fury beyond the original event of his loss. Most of the human beings he attacks aren’t much of a threat to him and hurting them really doesn’t bring him any dividends beyond revenge.

For instance, he insists his disdain for humanity and insistence on controlling them is for the sake of ensuring they do not destroy the future–the horrifying wasteland he witnessed when he traveled through the timespace door. However, I’m not really sure how his current movements really speak to that goal? I mean sure, maybe he’s relying on Faust to create an immortal human so that humans will be forced to care because it will be their future too, but he doesn’t allow Faust to draw his pureblood blood for experimenting. (One can most certainly argue this was more about a lack of trust, and perhaps for plenty reason: Faust is vindictive enough to try to turn the tables and exert control over Vlad, or act on his own whims with his findings.) But if that’s the solution he’s waiting on, turning the rivals of the men in the mansion doesn’t really bring him any closer to that vision either? I mean, what good does it do to bring back Gilles de Rais–a prominent French serial killer? How would unleashing him on the populace help humanity “realize the error of it’s short-sighted and wasteful ways” and move to a brighter future?

Can’t help it, I ask these questions as I read.

In Comte’s main story, Comte hammers home that Vlad is not somebody to be taken lightly. One day when MC goes out to buy flowers, Vlad poses as a human florist to sell them to her–which is how Comte finds out he’s in France, and that he’s made contact with MC. When prompted, Comte describes him in a very particular way; and I think people really overlook this when they talk about their relationship. He says that Vlad is frighteningly pure in terms of the way he thinks and acts. The way I understood his description (given what I’ve seen of Vlad) is that Comte really does mean it point blank: Vlad is very simple in terms of why and how he does things. The issue with this is that nuance and context are lost on Vlad as well–and that’s where the problems start to flood in. Vlad is angry at humanity for what they’ve done to him. Baseline? That’s fair, they killed his damn family. However, Vlad thinks that by extension he has the right to decimate the general public and attack people completely uninvolved in his hurt.

And that isn’t right either–it’s ignoring so many factors here. He’s ignoring how much vampires use and toy with humans as pawns, it’s ignoring the massive power imbalance between him and his victims (this really isn’t a case of self-defense most of the time, nobody but Comte/Leo is a sizable threat to him), and he’s ignoring whether or not a person even did anything to deserve his retributive violence. While murder is never okay, it is perhaps more understandable when we see Jeanne’s frenzied and violent belligerence in response to a man who murders a boy’s mother for the sake of his own amusement/convenience. Vlad literally sees almost every single one of the rivals he created begin to heal/improve and murders them in cold blood because they are no longer of any use to him. That’s uh……..that’s a little messed, not gonna lie to you chief.

While part of me understands the efficiency here–he doesn’t want to leave any traces of his involvement, he doesn’t want any loose ends–it’s also just kind of foolish and cruel ultimately. From my understanding of the narrative, all the people he turned had some visible sign that indicated their origin to Comte. So even if he claims it was for the sake of concealment, it was more likely about his personal convenience. Which…..also yikes.

[Comte clearly does not trust Vlad to be reasonable, and I think there’s plenty of good reason enumerated above, but I actually don’t sense quite so much hatred? I think he’s just given up on the idea of Vlad growing up, even if he doesn’t like giving up on people. And considering Vlad’s behavior, I think it’s overkill to say that Comte just abandons him because he doesn’t care lmao. Even when Comte expresses real anger at the end of his own route, it was more because Vlad was fine with endangering MC’s life just to get back at him. I think Comte’s unhappiness with Vlad has more to do with Vlad’s treatment of human life as meaningless and worthless. It’s fascinating but also kind of sad? Vlad’s traumatic experience results in behavior that is a direct exacerbation of Comte’s trauma, and as such--no matter their potentially fond history--they can’t stomach each other.]

In Comte’s route, Vlad also has Shakespeare abduct MC and take her to the cathedral. Later on in the castle, we see an immediate display of Vlad’s shocking powers: he has the ability to manipulate people’s desires/thoughts. I’m not exactly sure how this works, but he is able to give MC visions of the mansion and Comte coming on to her–which shocks her into realizing it’s all just a dream. It’s not reality; it’s all manufactured by Vlad.

After that...weird introductory note...Vlad gives MC the rundown on his life together with Comte, which as always is subject to a question of bias. My assumption is that he did not lie, only because he was trying to convince MC that he was “right.” Furthermore, he does not omit the most damning evidence of his erroneous judgement, which suggests a continued inability for him to see where he went wrong.

We get a series of three flashbacks. The first is them as young kids. I don’t know if Vlad had already experienced the horrors of his family being destroyed, but this particular flashback focuses on Comte. His parents, in an effort to teach him that vampires and humans have no ability to co-exist, send away all of his teachers/mentors/nannies/the servants--pretty much everyone and anyone he was closely bonded to. Think about it this way: we can see that Comte is very sociable and affectionate by nature. He was living in a house full of people, all of whom cared about him and looked after him in their own way. Now the house is entirely empty. Naturally Comte is very very upset, and Vlad appears to try to cheer him up with little success. 

[When I look back on this scene I don’t think I initially registered the sheer dissonance of Vlad’s reaction, versus Comte’s catatonic misery. There was a very solemn feeling to that memory, and the correct choice in terms of extending comfort is to hold his hand believe it or not. There is a sense that he feels very alone. When young boy Vlad enters one can argue that it was the proper thing to do; he was trying to cheer up his playmate and friend. But at the same time, I think I need to double check. Because I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong. What if Vlad was happy to see someone as alone as him, and that joy is accordingly dissonant for that reason? He can’t see what Comte needs or how he’s hurting because he’s so glad he isn’t alone anymore in a way.]

The second flashback is the war nurse scene that I have spoken at length about. The important thing to focus on here is Vlad’s surprise that Comte would opt out of turning her out of respect for her wishes. The way Vlad frames the situation is starkly different from Comte’s. Comte sees himself as an outsider, somebody who invaded her life as a result of the timespace door and therefore has no right to suddenly change the course of her fate. He had no idea if she even wanted to live (considering the horrors she’d have to cope with and remember) or leave that time period at all, for that matter (considering the only thing keeping her going was helping the wounded/victims). Comte really was listening to everything she had to say, and he was taking her concerns and motivations seriously. 

Vlad simply says: if you want her, take her. It’s as simple as that for him. And in one way that’s not entirely wrong--assuming Comte would have every intention of looking after her and actually cares a lot about her. But what’s being ignored here is her agency and the fact that they really don’t know each other that well? Something like that could begin and be rocky, if it doesn’t end in complete disaster. Worse, I get the feeling Vlad is perfectly fine with the notion of turning her and if things don’t work out, just kill her or get rid of her. Again, the simplistic thinking comes into play here: it ultimately comes down to Vlad being self-centered. He’s thinking only in terms of satisfying his needs, he doesn’t seem to have any concept of a larger pair or group feeling. There’s an inability to bend/be flexible for the sake of maintaining a greater harmonious feeling. 

[For the record, I don’t think this makes him irredeemable? Only that it makes it very hard to live with him or love him, probably. There’s an inability to live at a joint pace? It’s always answering to what he wants without room for anything else most of the time, which to me is not living and it’s not love ;;;;]

Following their escape back to their own time, Vlad explains how he wants to use the door to turn geniuses and control humanity. He eventually wants to create a surveillance state, which would mean everyone is forced to move with his explicit approval, more or less. (He almost reminds me of Louis XIV, can’t tell if that’s what they were going for.) I have my doubts that his abilities could extend that far, but human history shows us that we are plenty susceptible to fascist and totalitarian rhetoric. In a shocking display of anger, Comte draws the line at controlling humanity and forcing them into a regime in which, and this is Vlad’s description not mine, “we (purebloods) would be like kings.” There’s definitely a concept of evolutionary superiority at play here, which echoes what I mentioned earlier; vampires seem to have this awareness that they’re apex predators in a sense, and enjoy the power that comes with that. Unfortunately, that probably makes for a fairly toxic/uncomfortable larger species culture, which is exactly what Comte and Leo hate lmao.

Vlad does not seem to find any issue with this sort of outlook, and asks MC to decide which of them--Vlad or Comte--is right. Who is more realistic, who best understands the future? As expected the MC replies that it's Comte, and Vlad goes from beseeching to big mad at record speed. He's p much that gif of the teddy bear that smacks its head down on the tables and then has the angry eyebrows.

This is where Comte intervenes, firing a warning shot that grazes Vlad's cheek and demanding he let MC go. In response, Vlad shoves MC into the turbulent timespace door--p much guaranteeing MC's death. (Essentially timespace is a void of sorts, a human being could never survive in that environment for long. Vlad fully knew this, and yeeted her anyway.)

So uh, yeah. Disagreement? Death. Moving on? Death. Nuanced approach to reality? Death. Beginning to think he doesn't really have a lot of patience or open-mindedness or any other kind of problem-solving approach. 

He raises flowers and gardens like a fiend, and he openly plucks any single flower with a blemished leaf. Even if a single petal is slightly damaged, it will be removed and destroyed. So one could argue his extremism reflects a kind of perfectionism as well. No room for errors or troublesome dissent. No ugliness of any kind. I mean in all of his interactions with Faust and Charles this is the overt undertone. Don't ask more of me than I'm willing to give. Behave like good children, mommy's busy. Is that insubordination? boss music begins

One thing I actually don't understand very well is his decision making in Dazai's route. Dazai finds out about what Vlad's doing in a nanosecond when he senses MC is in danger, and yet Vlad makes absolutely no move to eliminate Dazai? He just watches from the shadows. Even when Dazai grills Charles about his loyalty to Vlad, no retribution.

My best guess for this specific situation is that Vlad does derive some level of satisfaction thwarting the future of human beings/former humans. Dazai--being somebody with no great desire to live, no rivals to speak of as far as we can tell, and no larger aspirations--is a life that is easily extinguished. There's no satisfaction in it. When Vlad's clan was murdered and he saw the future decimated, it could be that he felt humans had invaded and eradicated every potentiality that was important to him. Where he might have lived happily with his family, that future was ripped from his grasp. Where he might enjoy his flowers and the creation of an immortal for the rest of conceivable time, that too was ripped from his grasp with a desolate future. 

So much about who Vlad is is about control, so it's very possible his lashing out is an extension of that. Dazai does not awaken any of the disdain he feels, and he does not succeed in overthrowing Vlad's control over Charles, so Vlad simply lurks in silence.

And last but not least, I've seen the preview to Vlad's newest birthday event story. The contents are incredibly revealing, in that MC wishing him a happy birthday and offering him a gift has him saying that it was "the best birthday ever." Granted idk if that’s sweet or just...beyond sad, but here we are. It’s only compounding my curiosity about the wound on his chest--I really do wonder if he was attacked and locked away by vampire hunters or hostile human beings or something. I say that only because that line speaks to a lot of isolation, and given how little he seems to care about turning people/subjecting them to his whims it feels odd. Why the isolation or lack of people who care about him? Is it a perceived lack where his actions alienated all the people who wanted to be close to him, or is it a more involuntary lack?

When she says let’s celebrate again next year, he seems a pleasantly shocked by the notion, and remarks “Ah yes, it’s a promise c:”. The preview was also mega horny: “You make me feel so loved, I don’t think I can be gentle with you tonight. If you enjoy it so much, then I won’t stop. I want to see you completely lost for me. I’ll teach your body what it means to be loved by a pureblood.” Aaaaaand pretty sure the CG was alluding to him licking the good stuff from her basement, though not entirely sure given it was only the preview. 

The brief POV they give us is also very revealing:

“You always keep your promises, and I think I underestimate all the time how much you saved me. You are good, only you are good in this world.”

“Will we continue to make promises to each other in the future? Well in that case--you will always, always be mine, my vampire.”

Tbh he’s...v sweet? In his own way? Honestly he feels like a crabapple that is just so sick of the world and wants softe wife to take comfort in. While granted that’s not really my thing, I know a fanbase appeal exists for these types--so if that’s your thing, have at it!

So now that we have reached the end of my ridiculously long analysis (when am I ever brief, I’m so sorry. If you made it all the way here you deserve a cookie at the very least, if not the right to chase me with a bat) perhaps it’s more clear why I said discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha? “My clan is gone, every other second I’m going to be in retraumatization insanity, when I’m not I’ll be seeking power/hobbies, planning the demise of people who wanted the best for me, building a team to my advantage and unquestioned control, and eventually settling for a lifelong love who sees the best in me despite my more difficult moments and perceived hollowing loneliness. Not the most ideal comparison, but I will say if Vlad was not already named the historical figure, would have pointed and yelled Uchiha.

That’s all from me folks, hopefully this was a fun way to get introduced to him? And again, hope I didn’t alienate--I fully respect what people do and don’t enjoy o7

[jyndor]

Rogue One Meta: Bookends

You know what I love about Rogue One? Well, a lot of things. The anti-fascist message, the characters, the found family trope, the soundtrack, how pretty the whole movie is... there is just too much to like about it. But one thing that really gets me going is how neatly the movie ties in its beginning with its ending.

Let’s do a recap.

So in the beginning, we skip the usual Star Wars crawl and get straight into the action: little Jyn runs to her parents, the family packs up what little they can grab, Lyra calls Saw to alert him to Krennic's approach, Galen asks Jyn to tell him that she understands that whatever he does it is all to protect her. She says she does (she doesn't, of course; she’s EIGHT) and they hug it out. Lyra takes Jyn off to go hide in their little bunker before she changes her mind, she gives Jyn the kyber necklace and then leaves Jyn to try to save Galen, etc etc. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

We all know that when Lyra tells Krennic that he will "never win" and is killed while shooting Krennic, Jyn sees it. We know that Jyn hides in the bunker for a long time, long after her lantern dies out, until Saw is able to rescue her.

We know this just as well as we know how the movie ends: Krennic finds Jyn on the top of the tower, she knows she is about to die so she tells him that she brings her parents' revenge, that he has lost and he snarls at her, monologues like a villain always has to do, aims his blaster and-

Cassian shoots him before he can pull the trigger. Jyn transmits the Death Star plans, Cassian stops her from wasting time on Krennic, they definitely don’t make out on the elevator, and then they go sit on the beach and cuddle while they wait for their deaths. It’s very cute and very sad.

We know that Jyn is Galen and Lyra's weapon, their revenge for the violence that Krennic did to them personally as well as for what the Empire has done to the galaxy. It's personal and political, as most things are. Rogue One makes this very clear - the personal is political (btw the radfem who coined that phrase can get fucked tyvm).

It’s actually always been how Star Wars works. We would care about Alderaan’s destruction, it’s a terrible thing, but we feel so much more connected to it because of Leia. The Empire oppresses every day people, but when we see Owen and Beru’s charred corpses (and Luke’s grief) we feel more about their deaths than if we didn’t just see them sitting down for a meal together with our protagonist. The Clone Wars is so effective because we care about the characters and see the war through their eyes. Politics is personal.

At the beginning, Galen is resigned to being taken by Krennic and working for the Empire against his will. It's why he sends Lyra and Jyn to safety, because he knows that they will be used as hostages to force him to complete the Death Star (and Lyra says as much). But Lyra obviously isn't willing to give her husband up without a fight (and she's also not willing to let the Empire get any closer to building a 9/11 times 100). It’s both political and personal.

Lyra’s heartbreaking act of resistance creates the narrative framework for who Jyn will become in the film but also for Cassian. In fact I would argue that Lyra's fridging sacrifice is just as important to the structure of Cassian's arc as it is to Jyn's. Don't buy it yet? Okay, look:

Lyra hits Krennic in the shoulder but it's just a graze, and she gets shot first so whether or not she's any good is irrelevant. Cassian is a soldier and a sniper. She also doesn't have the element of surprise on her side like Cassian does. She's a civilian, he's an officer who grew up in the rebellion.

But Cassian doesn't hit Krennic in the chest or the head, which he clearly could do. Perhaps it's because he doesn't have the time to fuss with his aim because he makes it up to the top of the tower just in time. Or maybe since he's really hurting, like Lyra, he doesn't have the focus that he'd need to kill the motherfucker.

Cassian hits Krennic in the shoulder just like Lyra (although I assume given how Krennic falls on his face it's not a graze).

Lyra walks so that Cassian can run.

None of them - not Jyn or Cassian, certainly not Galen or Lyra - gets to kill Krennic; none of them matters as much to Krennic as Krennic himself does. He's a textbook narcissist, so of course he is his own downfall in the end. It’s infinitely more satisfying to see him regain consciousness, look up at his creation and watch it aim at his head, and it would be to see Jyn or Cassian kill him. Cassian gets to tell Jyn what Lyra no doubt would have liked to tell Galen - "leave it" - and then walk away arm in arm without sparing Krennic another thought, and Jyn gets to finally outgrow this childhood phantom.

So much has been written about how Cassian Andor does not let Jyn Erso down. It's adorable, hilarious and also heartbreaking to see him in full Jyn Panic mode for most of the film. In the novel he's clearly attracted to her (he is a POV character so we get to read about Cassian's fixation on her need~ and how "neither pity nor pragmatism" explains why he's saves her on Jedha, and how when he looks at Galen, Cassian sees Jyn's eyes lmfao okay we get it she’s pretty). According to Chris Weitz and Gary Whitta (in the ign Rogue One commentary) they were originally more romantic but over time that dynamic got dialed back (and they said they're sure some of that got filmed so show me tHE ELEVATOR TAPES MOUSE).

But I don't think Lyra and Cassian mirroring each other has to mean Cassian loves Jyn in the same way that Lyra loves Galen. Love takes many different forms - even romantic love. What isn't up for debate is that Cassian is the only person in Jyn's whole life who does not leave her behind. No one who cares for her wants to leave her - not Galen, Lyra, or Saw; not the Pontas in the extended content, not even the rest of Rogue One - but Cassian seems to comes back from the dead for her.

Which is exactly what Krennic sarcastically says about Lyra when she comes running up to them.

In this case Galen doesn’t think Lyra is dead but he has no idea what she’s dealing with. He hopes she’s hiding away with Jyn, which is why he tells Krennic that she died, but he’s just giving them time to hide away. For Galen, Lyra might as well be dead because he doesn’t think he’s going to see her again. But when she comes “back from the dead” he feels horror because he knows it won’t end well, that she won’t just go quietly.

Jyn thinks that Cassian has left her just like everyone else. So when he comes back, it’s like a revelation for her. In the novel, Jyn thinks that Cassian looks "as beautiful as anyone" she has "ever known" and after she rushes over to transmit the plans, she smiles up at him "like a child." Hell, the minute she sees Krennic get shot, she thinks that “her nightmare is over.” Which makes me think about how eight year old Jyn never gets the chance to smile up at Lyra like that. In her eyes, Lyra doesn't really protect her from the man in white, and neither does Galen. Saw does but then he abandons her when he worries people will use her as a hostage against the Empire. Galen, Lyra and Saw do try to protect Jyn from the Empire, but the steps that her parents take (all three of them) are to hide her, or to leave her.

In Jyn's eyes, that isn't protection the way going on the offense is. That is also the thesis of her speech to the Council - appeasement and hiding away from evil does not stop evil from harming innocents, these are not ways in which people can resist occupation and oppression long term. It makes sense coming from a former insurgent; to her, nothing but direct action is going to make a difference. And she would know - after Saw leaves her, she does take part in some minor actions (according to the expanded lore) but mainly she’s in hiding, looking out for herself and coping with the trauma of being abandoned by all of her parents.

So the one person who not only gets her mission off the ground, but who also vanquishes this monster who has been haunting her since her childhood is Cassian. He ends what Lyra begins.

But Jyn doesn’t end what Galen started. She continues what he started, just like Bodhi (who basically functions as Galen’s adoptive son you will not convince me otherwise). I started this essay talking about beginnings and endings in the sense of a story’s structure, but Rogue One in the larger context of Star Wars is neither a beginner nor an ending - it is just one generation (that of the prequels) passing on the torch to the next generation (the original trilogy). In politics there are no beginnings or endings, there is just (hopefully) generational progress in struggles.

The whole movie can be summed up in one scene:

But just because it can be summed up that way doesn’t mean it should be. Of course, John Knoll got the idea for the movie based on the scroll in ANH so it makes sense that Rogue One’s characters ultimately are just a footnote for the rest of the galaxy. But for us, the audience, when Luke destroys the Death Star... well, now there is even more weight to that moment. Now we understand what got sacrificed to get those plans, who died and how and why. (That doesn’t mean we need to make a movie about these guys getting butchered by Darth Vader. You don’t need to explain everything.)

Like Leia and Alderaan, this family we meet makes it even more personal. Rogue One is just as much about family as it is about standing up to oppression. It's a Star War, those are like the main tenets of any Star War. Not to quote a meme and make it serious, but maybe the real Star War is the family we found along the way.

[darlington-v]

on the matter of chekhov’s gun

“what does chekov’s gun have to do with ranboo’s lack of panic towards his inability to speak about dream and his misdeeds?”

this was something asked in one of the replies to my essays, which made me feel the need to make this post instead of just a simple reply because i have a lot of thoughts on the matter.

first, let’s talk about chekov’s gun.

chekov’s gun is not just wilbur’s old crossbow, nor just something funny he would reference but it is a writing principle.

now, whether or not you follow that principle is up to you, but most good writers and writing will follow that principle which is: everything in writing has to have a purpose. even small details. 

they may not necessarily have huge plot relevance, but when you are writing you have to ask yourself, ‘why is this necessary for me to write this in?’ chekhov’s gun helps you maintain a cohesiveness within your story and writing as all of it will serve a purpose.

in writing anything, whether it is: character details, character arcs, plots of any degree (be it a small character arc or a main storyline point), setting details and the setting itself, you have to ask yourself, what purpose does this serve in the narrative? what does this establish?

let’s use a fine character detail for example. say your main character notices their companion sewing with a peculiar stitch that is not often used in their self proclaimed home country. what was the purpose of pointing that out? a good writer, utilizing the principle of chekhov’s gun, would have it be relevant to the story later. you could write their companion was lying about where they came from, which will later affect the mission they’re on, which will later come up due to the affects it has. or, perhaps, the companion was raised by parents who are refugees, which will then establish a personal connection with perhaps a political conflict at the core of this hypothetical story.

regardless, these give meaning to the fine detail you established in chapters, or episodes, or in the dream smp’s case, streams, earlier. which is what the principle of chekhov’s gun is. everything should be done with a purpose.

why is chekhov’s gun important?

the importance of using the principle of chekhov’s gun is in maintaining cohesiveness within your story. no one likes a dissatisfying story. we want to walk away from a narrative feeling a sense of wholeness and satisfaction. whether it has a sad ending, happy ending, or bittersweet ending, you want to walk away feeling satisfied. like it all had a purpose. a good story ends with good closure.

you get closure when your worries or questions or understanding of something are calmed, or answered, or explained to you. this is why chekhov’s gun is important. in making sure every element in your story serves a purpose, you make sure that any questions being asked are getting answered. in asking yourself “why does this happen” and then applying that answer to the story, whether it is immediately or later, you are making sure your loose threads are getting tied. you’re making sure that you will always be able to provide your reader closure.

and closure is satisfying! we all want closure. we all would like our lives and conflicts to have pretty answers wrapped up in a bow, but... the issue with reality, rather than fiction, is that we don’t always get it.

which is why it’s so important in fiction.

no one wants to use their time reading, or watching, or just consuming something in general, that leaves us unsatisfied. which is why we don’t have to, nor should we, necessarily use the way events unfold in real life as a skeleton for the way they unfold in fiction. like i said before, reality doesn’t always provide closure, but fiction can. in making sure your narrative has all of its loose ends tied up, you’re optimizing the amount of satisfaction received at the end of your story.

so, while chekhov’s gun is a principle, it’s a damned good one. it helps maintain a cohesive story which just naturally makes the story more enjoyable and satisfying.

what does this have to do with ranboo, or the dream smp for that matter?

well, you should apply this to any media you watch and think about critically, but it has to do with noticing small details and wondering what their importance is. 

i made an essay posing the question “why wasn’t ranboo shocked that he physically couldn’t speak about dream and the misdeeds they committed together” which talked about how ranboo didn’t really seemed shocked on the matter.

the point of the essay was really to point out that the behavior was peculiar and to ask what it may mean, because it was such an odd thing that stuck out to me. i wanted to perhaps go into depth about why he regards the circumstance with a tone of irritated understanding, and why he may understand whats going on. i don’t really have any solid ideas, but i wanted to start discussion on it.

now, why is chekhov’s gun relevant to this? because the lack of response sticks out, and it doesn’t have a clear answer yet. it subverts your natural expectations of how someone would react to their ability to speak being stripped from them. you would expect a bit more shock, and yet we don’t get that. at the very least it’s peculiar and it is a question to be asked. there’s a question created in the action.

as for the answer? i don’t really have one myself, it’s why i was posing the question.

i understand that ranboo was sufficiently shocked and panicked, but he wasn’t at a threshold to which he would have passed out. we clearly see him process the situation at hand. it’s not that he was numb to it, there is a pause where he processes the fact that he cannot speak. if he was numb to the shock, he wouldn’t have still been panicking over the prison, because he would have been shutting down all of the shock. that’s typically how shock and trauma works.

but even if his lack of response to the inability to speak was being numb or too mentally distraught, you have to ask yourself: why? 

what purpose does him being numb to that situation serve? what does that establish? if you say it establishes his character is mentally unwell or it’s a testament to ranboo’s mentality and his mental wellness, the issue is that we already knew that.

we already know ranboo isn’t okay. that’s been proven not only in the stream in question, but multiple other streams. there is no purpose in adding a new behavior or new element only for it to establish something that has been established before.

that is what chekhov’s gun and its principle has to do with my essay and questions raised. i am posing the question ‘what purpose is being served here’ because of the idea that every element to a story must serve a purpose.

as for why this is important to the dream smp as a whole, it’s very clear that there are at least three writers who likely use the principle of chekhov’s gun.

one is wilbur, he mentioned it and used the principle for season 1 of the dream smp. he shows the audience the tnt room and even like clearly references chekhov’s gun. 

another is dream! dream spoke on ranboo’s stream that he enjoys red herrings and leading the audience astray, with the conclusion being something unexpected but still understandable. i definitely recommend you watch the portion of that stream where ranboo and dream spoke about lore and writing because it was really insightful and just... enjoyable overall.

lastly, and most relevant to my essay is ranboo! similarly to dream, he likes red herrings. he’s stated multiple times on stream he loves to mislead the audience with small details only to have the reveal like... blow our minds later. the importance of chekhov’s gun and red herrings are that if you’re using the principle, your reveal is going to be SUPER satisfying because the red herrings will still serve purpose, just a different one than that which the audience expected.

and, in my opinion, their writing so far has been really enjoyable. i love ranboo’s lore streams and i love what direction lore goes when these characters and therefore ccs are involved. so... i trust them to write well, whether it is with the understanding of the principle being titled chekhov’s gun or the logical thought process which is... good writing has good closures. and in giving everything a purpose, you’re giving yourself a skeleton for good closure.

i definitely didn’t know the idea that “all elements to a story should serve a purpose” was called chekhov’s gun. and honestly, the name doesn’t matter. 

it’s just a damn good principle.

TLDR;

chekhov’s gun is the writing principle that every story element serves a purpose, which is why you should ask yourself “what does that mean and what purpose does it serve” whenever an event or element in a story jumps out at you, for whatever reason that may be.

if you need more info on chekhov’s gun here are some articles! they explain it much better than i probably ever will haha!

[aotopmha]

I liked how ypu spoke about peick as your favourite character, I'd like to hear your thoughts on annie too, especially because some think that - since she didn't show remorse like reiner did for instance- then she doesn't deserve compassion and she's even comparable to floch!!

Pieck isn't my favourite character.

(Gabi is.)

The internet, its tendency towards a lack of nuance and its tendency for hyperboles has always been really funny to me.

I say something bad about a character, so I must hate them.

I say something good about them, so they must be my favourite.

Among the most important female characters in AoT, I think I like Pieck more than Mikasa and in turn I think I like Annie, Hange, Gabi, Ymir and Historia more than Pieck despite the final stretch of Historia's arc being kind of a mess.

I think I'd figure out how to rank them by really just thinking about them one by one, but again, I don't really do much ranking anymore. Maybe I'd put Ymir (and OG Ymir) between Mikasa and Pieck. I dunno.

Historia's stuff in the Uprising arc is just amazing and I think that stuff actually never lost its significance. It's still really important because she denied the Titan power.

The only character I think I'd rank below Mikasa is Sasha because her arc was given fairly limited time compared to others. She had her focus chapter, but after it her character moved back to having fun tidbits here and there. I think the fact that she continued to be so plot and theme-important after her death in such substantial ways is really good, too, but Mikasa's arc has a lot more connective tissue from start to finish despite being so relationship-centric and less interesting to me.

But at the same time, I think I still very much do actually like all of them.

(If anyone wants me to try and rank the characters female or male let me know.)

I don't think I actually hate any of AoT's characters, male or female. I like some less than others, but none of them come across as nonsensical in terms of writing. I think all of them make sense and to me that's what makes a good character.

I think even Historia's character at its worst at least has *some* logic to it.

The only character I think truly needed more time was Bertholdt. But what we did get with him was also very good.

His talk with Armin in Shiganshina was really good, his thoughts and speech before he transformed in Shiganshina was really good.

Even his very sudden, horrific death was really good because it tied back to AoT's theme of people just dying in war and there being no fanfare to it.

My issue comes with stuff before the reveal because I think a few more scenes with him so the audience would actually have a bigger sense of who he is before the reveal would have made it more powerful.

Perhaps it's somewhat the point that he suddenly became so important, but I think knowing more about him prior to it would've been better.

Reiner somewhat had this problem, too, but he got a lot more focus in Utgard, too.

But to once again emphasize it, I don't think I really hate any of them.

As for Annie, I think the fact that she feels so intensely guilty says everything that needs to be said and she actually did very much show remorse.

This scene was actually really commonly brought up back in the season 1 days:

(Chapter 18)

There is just a lot of recency bias and not much going back through the manga before complaining about it.

Other examples include not rereading any of the Paths or Marley chapters when it comes to OG Ymir or Eren.

But for a more recent example, I think the character material with Annie in chapter 133 needs more love:

In the end, Annie decides to join the battle so that even more bad stuff and regrets could be avoided.

The conversation with Kiyomi is about how her sins can't be forgiven and this entire thing applies to Annie, too.

But what she can do is avoid even more bad stuff happening.

So Annie completes her character arc by deciding to fight:

(Chapter 135)

Annie has a character arc in relation to her doing all of this horrible stuff and how the guilt of doing all of these horrible things affects her.

I saw people complaining about how she's on the boat with the others and not together with her father.

This is why I think she should be on the boat at the end of the story, acting as someone to balance out Armin's idealism and taking action in the face of the horrible world Eren left them.

I think Annie's arc deserves more love, but because her character focus is so scattered and people have such intense focus on only chapter 139, I feel it sort of falls to the wayside when talking about the story, like most other character material.

As for her deserving compassion? I think it's given fairly and just enough by the narrative.

In the end, Annie did what she did because she wanted to survive and see her father again and if she failed she and possibly her father would be killed.

She was already cynical about Marley's mission as a kid, but in the end couldn't rebel against it because of these personal circumstances.

As for the comparison with Floch, the thing with comparing how much worse one character is over the other morally for me is that I don't really care.

All I care about is whether they make sense and whether the narrative treats them appropriately in relation to what they have done.

Reiner and Annie wanted to die, but the narrative never gave them this luxury.

Instead it forced them to live and deal with the consequences of their actions. It forced them to fight to atone for their sins.

And I think stopping the destruction of all of humanity is something that earned them their life back and them being active afterwards and working towards making the best of the situation is the way to go.

I think this is a much better character solution for them than just a heroic sacrifice because it doesn't approve of the suicidal, defeatist elements of their characters.

In comparison, Eren wanted to live and be with Mikasa and his friends, but was not given this luxury, either.

He owned what he did, even calling Armin out for trying to be sympathetic.

I think both are good because they play into the characters' arcs in an appropriate way.

People keep saying Eren should've lived because that would've caused him to face the consequences of what he did, but I think this also would've given him exactly what he wanted.

He did all of this for his friends: he was willing to throw the rest of the world under the bus for them.

I think he would've been satisfied despite the sacrifices and I think we don't want that to happen to a character that committed genocide.

I guess I really have no horse in this race besides whether it all makes sense.

Thank you for the ask!

[zeta-in-de-walls]

Themes in the Dream SMP

Hey guys, I’m kind of into analysis. I tend to like examining character motivations and why they take certain actions rather than speculating on lore and theories. Heh but right now the fandom is flooded with egg speculation. I am very curious about the egg and where the story might lead though! So I thought I’d look at it in terms of themes the story might end up exploring. 

Themes are certain ideas/concept that keeping coming up in a work and get explored. Good themes can be traced from the very start of a work and carry on through to the end - they’re like threads that run through a work. Strong themes can help a story to feel more coherent and satisfying with the way they can tie a work together. Now the Dream SMP may be a bit of an improv roleplaying server but somehow a few themes can end up cropping up anyway.

What themes are there in the Dream SMP?

Here’s a few I identified, I guess they are topics that interest me? Also certain POVs may have different themes. I don’t watch Fundy myself but I’m pretty sure his viewpoint has some strong themes that are rather unique to his story. Certain arcs may have very strong themes as well which aren’t explored over the narrative as a whole.  

-Power/control. A very common theme in stories. What drives many characters is to seek out power, either to have control over their own lives, or over others. The leadership of L’manburg was hugely important in S1. And now many individuals are hungry for power especially the powerless who have been pushed around by others for so long.

-Corruption. Linked to the above. Often when seeking power, people can become corrupted by it and their ability to control others with it. Dream is an excellent example. Wilbur as well. Technoblade believed corruption was inevitable and that any concentrated power was bad. But is it inevitable? Or were the systems just a little flawed? Is a way to handle power sensibly?

-Words over violence. More of a S1 theme but I’d love to see it explored more. L’Manburg most notable was not wearing armour because they believed in fighting battles with their words, not violence. Technoblade challenged this, believing violence is the only way to be really understood.

-Attachment. This is a very strong theme, one really ties the whole story together well. It’s most explored in the Tommy vs Dream conflict but it’s also noted that every character get attached to things and that’s what so often drives conflict. Yet these attachment can also inspire and unite people. Dream sees attachments as a way to control others. Attachments are both a strength and a weakness.

-Complacency/Neutrality The server is marked by many wars but in every conflict there are those who stay on the sides. Those people may see this as a strength but those who stay neutral are most in danger of being forgotten. Likewise, staying neutral may be allowing disaster to happen. In Doomsday one striking thing was how many people stood on the sidelines. L’Manburg was not merely destroyed, but abandoned. And now with the egg, it’s been in the background for a long time and it’s been overlooked. Now people are finally paying attention but is it already too late?

-Seeking Peace. After all the conflict on the server, many character long for a lasting peace. Both Tubbo and Tommy just want to have a quiet life, with Tommy staying independent and working on his little project while Tubbo builds Snowchester as a safe haven with nukes to discourage any who wish to challenge his peace. Dream also had his vision for a peaceful server by way of him attaining absolute control over everyone, crushing any sort of defiance. And now the egg, it means to take over the world and in doing so will try to unite everyone under its control. The people will lose their free will but it may mean an end to conflict too.

-Choosing People over sides. An interesting yet messy theme which became prominent with S2. When two people are in conflict is it possible to help both? Or are you inevitably choosing a side? Or is this just another impossible view of utopia where everyone is united under the same side, (like Dream envisioned) and there is no need for any conflict?

-Revenge/Forgiveness. When someone hurts you, can you reconcile or should you seek retribution? Once you suffer a betrayal is that relationship broken or can it be fixed? Does you own pain justify hurting others? What is too far? What is justice? Probably not the most consistent theme but I really like the few times when this topic does get explored.

-----

So, those are a few concepts that stick out to me about the Dream SMP. There’s probably more (like I was kinda thinking on one about history repeating itself/destiny or something about becoming what you hate maybe) also yeah, themes are probably not necessarily consciously thought of by the writers but that doesn’t mean they don’t end up trying to fulfil the themes and ideas that their story has started exploring.

SO that said, i think it’d be very cool if the egg arc really starts to challenge some of these themes. What’s interesting was how Bad, I believe, chose the egg because it had Skeppy and he wantd to be with his best friend. I wonder if perhaps therefore the egg will continue to use people’s desires to control them. 

It creates an interesting parallel with Dream, trying to get people attached so he could control them. I wonder if Dream has any connection to the egg. It was discovered a long time ago now, during the Pogtopia arc I believe(?) and maybe that reflects Dream’s descent into villainy when he began to stop caring for his friends. and the eggs been so much more present this season as Dream’s also become increasingly detached. Maybe it means nothing. Either way it’s interesting how love and attachment may be used against the characters again in this fight against the egg. And whether love and trust in others might be a way to defeat it? 

I also found something poetic about how they placed vines within L’Manburg’s crater and its one of the places its growing very vigorously. It was once a place with so many memories and with so much meaning and in its place we have the egg. 

As I alluded to above, if the egg were to consume everything, there would be no more sides, no more conflict, everyone would be united in one ‘big, happy, family’ and there would be peace. Yet it’s like a warped vision of their beloved SMP. It’s peace, yes, but not the kind of peace anyone wants. The egg is terrifying. 

And its spreading and it’s going to affect everyone. (And if they can’t be infected they will be killed.) So the time for neutrality must end! The people couldn’t band together to save L’Manburg because they’d lost faith in it, but it’s not too late to save the SMP if everyone were to band together and fight for the server they all love. Many of them did it once to imprison Dream. To do this, they might have to put old grudges aside, but it can be done. 

As to why it affects people differently, I think we’ll be given an explanation. I’d be intrigued if it was to do with attachment or maybe something about power and corruption. (Metawise I’m pretty sure Tommy was unaffected because it woud seriously muddle his character to have a supernatural force messing with his head when his story had been a somewhat realistic depiction of manipulation and you do not want those two to mix and harm the impact of the exile arc.) But yeah, not sure what the reason is right now, but I figure they have one in mind already.

I’m liking this Egg arc. It seems like its been really well-planned and set up so I’m looking forward to seeing it all realised as I bet they have some great plans ahead and they potential for it to fit in with the existing themes would be amazing and again help the SMP as a whole to feel really satisfying and cohesive. If it wants to be wildly different of course, that can be great too, but everything seems very cool. Do love how it involves a huge cast of characters too - it’s very ambitious!

[bailey-reaper]

The Lord of the Manor (3)

Summary: It seems the best laid plans will go awry when the local nosy aristocrat comes calling. Rather than visiting his brother, Barok finds himself having to play host to Lady Darlington. It’s his worst nightmare as far as social affairs go and he’s keen to have the woman leave, all the more so when she brings up a particularly sore topic...

Content Warnings: angst + me taking artistic liberties re: the van Zieks family

Other parts: (1)  |  (2)

Lady Darlington was anything but a darling, with her viperous tongue, predator-like gaze and unscrupulous sense of decorum... in fact she was more demonling than anything else, in Barok’s opinion. Yet, he knew better than to waste time ventilating such a view – Lady Darlington was greatly skilled in twisting narratives to suit her agenda along with turning on the waterworks seemingly at will. She was formidable in her ability to be vexatious.

“Forgive my delay, madam,” he said as he entered the parlour, “I was not expecting you...” a veiled way of hinting that her uninvited attendance at his home was unwelcome.

She smiled coyly, “No need to apologise my lord, it is I who am sorry for dropping in quite unexpectedly. I was simply too excited to hear that the Master of the van Zieks family was back home. And–” she turned her head to the side, looking away with a demure expression, “Forgive me if I seem somewhat paranoid, but I find whenever I do announce my presence it would seem you are otherwise engaged...”

“A mere coincidence, I assure you,” he replied, with no semblance of sincerity, “Well then, what brings you here?”

“My my... it seems you’ve been a prosecutor far too long, what ever happened to social niceties?”

“In truth, I’ve never been one for such things. Perhaps the life of a prosecutor suits me well for that reason,” his gaze drifted out the window to the pleasant afternoon, which he could have been spending atop Black Gale on his way to his brother’s grave. (And I certainly have no inclination to practice them with you, madam) he thought to himself.

“Hmmmm,” Lady Darlington hummed in an almost sing-song manner, “And yet here you are, back in the family estate after... what? Five years? Have you grown wearing of the ... abrasive mores of Court?” she took a small lace fan from her handbag and lightly fanned herself.

(Ever the odious viper...) it took all his composure to resist scowling at that question, “Not at all, madam, I simply wanted to return home for a little while. That’s not a crime, is it?”

“Oh no, of course not, dear sir!” her eyes narrowed ever so slightly, but that did not escape his notice. He knew something unsightly was about to be said, “But I have heard of the rather... disturbing tales that follow you wherever you go.”

“Oh have you now? And what might those be?”

“Why, your title of ‘the Reaper of the Old Bailey’ of course! It was such a shock to hear that the sweet young lord with the face of a cherub had grown up to become such a... menacing figure amidst the streets of the capital! Do you think it’s true? That the soul of your dearly departed brother follows you like a grim cowl and claims victims in your stead?”

There it was, the topic he had expected the moment she brought up his return. Of course she’d come here to satisfy herself about the ‘Reaper’. He sighed heavily, “How should I know, Lady Darlington? I do not presume to see ghosts, nor do I think that I am any such ‘reaper’. Still, if the vulgar classes want to paint me in such a light then I won’t waste my time arguing with them,” he made a point of peering at her as he said ‘vulgar classes’.

“Hm, I see,” she seemed suitably disappointed by his reply, which made him feel ever so slightly better, “I suppose you’re right. It’s just a fanciful tale to delight the peasantry.”

“Indeed...”

“Well then, what of you? How have you been, My Lord? It seems like ever such a long time since I’ve seen you at a function or a party. It’s almost possible to think that your esteemed bloodline is no longer with us!”

“I am fine, thank you,” Barok studiously decided to ignore her bait, “My responsibilities as a prosecutor keep me busy, but I do still find time to attend some gatherings. Perhaps you’re just not in the right place at the right time.”

“Perhaps, perhaps,” Lady Darlington mused, “And what of your love life, dear man? Have you found a wife yet? Klint was already long married by the time he turned your age! As far as I’ve heard, you’ve not courted a single eligible member of the aristocracy. It’s worrying, you know, people will talk!”

(As they do about Oscar Wilde, you mean?) he thought bitterly, “Madam, I fear that is a rather personal matter and quite the veiled accusation you’re making... May I suggest that you trouble yourself with the love lives of others, who I am sure would be most grateful for your concern.“

Once more she appeared disappointed by his clipped response, “Very well, my lord, but should you ever decide to emerge from your self-imposed celibacy, two of my lovely daughters are of courtship age and I’m sure you would find one of them most suitable.”

So that was it. She had come to the manor in order to flog her daughters like cattle at some farmer’s market. He scoffed, “I shall make a mental note,” and he would - a mental note not to attend any local gatherings, lest he be set upon by Lady Darlington and her daughters.

“Very good,” she smiled, clearly unaware of his intentions, “I must say... it’s most nostalgic to sit in this parlour once again. I believe the last time I was here, Klint was regaling me with his recent exploits while his darling lady wife took tea with me.”

“I’m afraid my exploits are far too gruesome for polite company, unless you’d like to hear of the awful things men do to one another in order to keep hold of their power and increase their wealth?” he leveled her with a cold glare; the comparisons to Klint were unnecessary.

He knew he did not, indeed could not, measure up to his brother.

“Ah... no, as  you say, not something for polite company...” she appeared to have turned a shade paler, no doubt thinking of the grisly things that were reported in the papers from time to time, such as the unsightly murder of Lord William Russell.

“Though, I suppose if you are keen to know what I’ve been getting up to, I could tell you about the recent case of a cannibal I prosecuted. That one was a little less gory than the others.”

“A... A cannibal?!” Lady Darlington’s voice had somehow managed to hit a pitch that would no doubt pain any animal with the misfortune to hear it.

“Yes,” Barok nodded, his expression solemn, “A member of a Lord’s staff, in fact. The cook. You know, she was--”

“M-My is that the time!” the lady announced, looking at the grandfather clock and shooting out of her chair abruptly, “Forgive me, My Lord, truly I would love to stay and hear this... fascinating little story, but I fear I must be off.”

“So soon?” he tilted his head and smiled, “Very well, I shall save it for next time we meet.”

“Um. Yes. Quite. Until next time, then!”

“Harvey,” the butler appeared mere moments later upon the master of the house calling his name, “Would you mind showing Lady Darlington out?”

“Not at all, My Lord.” 

“Take care, Lady Darlington,” he called after her as she disappeared out of the parlour. Finally, he was alone in the peace and quiet with nothing but the crackling fire and grandfather clock to disturb the hush.

Barok laced his fingers together and rested his chin against the lattice. He found himself thinking about a conversation he’d had with Klint about the ‘art of socialising’ when he was a child and his brother had recently become the master of the house.

“Come now, little wolf, you mustn’t shy away from social affairs!”

“But they’re terribly boring, brother...”

Klint smiled gently, “Yes, I know, truth be told I’d much rather be playing in the mud with you, or taking Balmung for a walk. But, for the good of the family, these things must be done.”

“Why must they?”

His older brother looked thoughtful for a few moments, before fondly ruffling his little brother’s fluffy curls, “Think of it as a game of war... a bit like chess, I suppose: where you want to keep as many allies as possible, while avoiding making enemies. It’s a silly little thing that the nobility do to keep themselves occupied when they have precious little else occupying their lives.”

“I think I much prefer chess.”

“As do I,” Klint agreed, “Shall we play a game once this party is over?”

Barok nodded enthusiastically, “This time I shall get a checkmate!”

“Oh will you now? That’s quite a bold statement!”

He had not gone on to get the checkmate he said he would, but he’d still enjoyed playing chess with his brother all the same. The little moments like that, after Klint had become the incumbent lord of the family, were precious indeed. He knew his brother had many things grabbing at his time, yet he still made sure to give what he could to his little brother.

Lady Darlington’s surprise visit had scuppered his plans for that day, so he decided to make do with a visit to the master bedroom. He’d been very clear in his instructions to the staff upon becoming the incumbent Lord – Klint’s room was to stay as he’d left it. The only things he’d permitted were for the bed to be stripped down and the wastebins to be emptied.

The first thing that struck him as he opened the door was the scent of his brother. It had faded over time, of course, but there were still wisps of it in the air: the mix of leather, beeswax, cedar wood and amber from his cologne. It was a scent he’d had specially made; his signature. The fact it was slowly fading was yet more proof that his brother’s existence was starting to recede from the minds of others. He had no doubt Lady Darlington’s barbed references were to rile him up and make him say something in outrage, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Barok agreed with her on that point, amazingly: he was no replacement for his brother, and he never felt it more keenly than in the company of other members of the aristocracy. His brother had been able to put on the most charming and suave of personas when he needed to ‘for the good of the family’, as he ‘d put it. Such a talent did not come easily to Barok. He just didn’t care what the wider world thought of him. While he would keep up appearances and carry himself as one of noble blood, he had no family to protect or lineage to fret about. There was nothing left -- only him.

Slowly he sunk to his knees and looked around the silent space, devoid of signs of being lived in. Klint was gone, and he was all that remained of the bloodline. What a sorry state of affairs this was shaping up to be...

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: The Anime (pt. 3)

The anime is a different species than the manga, something that frequently happens during the adaptation from page to screen. Since they’re so different, I’ll analyze them separately.

In the last two sections, we explored how the anime treated the start of NatsuMikan's relataionship, as well as how different the story can be with some added elements and feelings. In this part, I'll talk about some more manga divergence, with perhaps more of an emphasis on Natsume because there's some new themes added in regard to his story.

Episode 12 vs. Chapter 11

Another “filler” episode, filler in that the events are completely different than in the manga, is the 12th episode. Just like in the manga, Mikan finds out that her ability class is uninterested in participating in the culture fest, much to her dismay. She ends up spending the whole episode wandering around campus, watching her peers prepare but struggling to come up with something for her class to do. In the manga, she comes up with the idea for the culture fest on her own, but in the anime it’s a journey and it couldn’t have happened without Natsume. Whereas at this part of the manga, he can barely tolerate her, in the anime he already likes her and he helps her out in his own way.

“‘Tis but a flesh wound.”

She finds Natsume in the classroom by himself, reading his manga. She vents to him her frustration and admits her jealousy: his amazing alice has many uses at a culture fest while hers does not. He burns the tips of her hair but confesses that he’s not allowed to participate beyond being a spectator. When Sumire’s brother shows up looking for Hotaru, he finds Natsume and Mikan, insulting both of them but especially Mikan. Natsume sets his hair on fire and then tells her to go back and talk to her class. The back of his manga gives her the idea of the RPG, much to his chagrin since he winces when she thanks him for the help. He talks to her the whole scene, defending her from Permy’s brother and even helps her (indirectly) come up with what to do with the SA class.

They have so much in common, specifically about the culture festival, and Mikan realizes this and it’s part of the reason why Natsume sticks up for her here. Just like her, he knows how it feels to be excluded because of your ability class. The manga’s version of events seems a bit darker, but it’s hard to be depressed after the counterpart’s version, where Natsume and Mikan bond together over their shared struggles.

Although the class is on board with her idea, Jinno (again…) doesn’t let them participate, claiming that he wishes they couldn’t participate at all just like the DA class. The SA class gives up and Mikan blows up on them and runs away, running into Natsume, this time under a tree. She tells him she’s convinced that he’s lonely and wants friends, and she obviously doesn’t have any qualms with being a friend to him. She proposes the two of them spend the culture fest together, surprising him.

For all of their differences, after all, they’re more alike than they seem. Two outcasts befriending each other despite the school’s efforts to suppress their fun is empowering and uplifting and sweet. After all, despite how popular Natsume is, his worshippers mostly go along with whatever he’s doing and saying, rather than trying to find ways for him to have fun. For them, it’s more about getting Natsume to like them. For Mikan, it’s about getting him to smile, and that’s what sets her apart. She knows what he’s like, that he could easily tease her or insult her or cruelly reject her and yet she asks him anyway. She wants to include him in ways nobody else has, other than Ruka. You could easily see Mochu or one of his fan club members saying “Let’s ditch this anyway! Who cares! It’s lame anyway!” while Mikan gets to the heart of it. Natsume doesn’t actually think the festival is lame or boring. He just can’t participate and it hurts his feelings. “Let’s participate anyway,” Mikan says. “We’ll do it together because we’re both not allowed.” It’s what he actually wants someone to say to him, even if he won’t admit it.

If you look close enough, you can see Natsume’s little blush.

She says they’re both on their own, unable to participate. He tells her to go talk to her class instead and reconcile with them. Despite Mikan giving him an offer that he wants to accept, he tells her to do what’s best for her. She is upset about her argument with her class, and just hanging around with him won’t make her as happy as she would be if she made up with them. He’s not selfish at all--he doesn’t want her company if it comes at the price of her happiness. Furthermore, he’s not upset in the slightest that after the episode they no longer have “we’re not allowed to participate” in common. It’s still something they bonded over and it’s enough that she can have fun, even if he can’t. She is impressed by his ability to know what’s wrong and help her in his own way. There’s a growing affection between them, where Natsume values her optimism and cheerfulness, and she values his secret and subtle kindness. She’s learning to see his hidden acts of kindness for what they are and appreciating them when she recognizes them. And no, he won’t tell her anything about the DA class except that it’s different than the other classes, but he doesn’t get mad at her for asking. He wishes he could tell her. It’s just not an option. The crow disrupting the songbirds on the streetlamp is so metaphoric, it’s kinda obvious. But is the crow Natsume, who can’t have fun like the songbirds, or is the crow Persona, who ruins the fun he sees?

Genuinely I’m shocked that Natsume survived this emotional ordeal. How did he not go into cardiac arrest.

Right after Mikan’s departure an onlooking Hotaru asks Ruka if he's glad nothing happened, as if something would’ve happened. Their connection and softness is something perceptible, even from a distance. He’s different with her, and both Hotaru and Ruka can see it.

Then Natsume passes out, implying that he felt poorly during his conversation with Mikan but didn’t let it show, probably so she wouldn’t worry. Knowing that Natsume had earlier gone on a mission where he presumably gets shot in the side adds a new layer to their interactions. After all, he hadn’t told Persona what was wrong when he’d asked and Ruka was surprised too, so it can be assumed that Natsume went back to his dorm after the mission and then patched himself up. Seeing as he is only ten years old, it couldn’t have been that good of a patch-up, and he is still injured. Natsume was grouchy because of the culture fest and because he was dealing with agonizing pain all day.

Kitty, you better not be dead.

In any case, Mikan asking Natsume to hang out is a sign of Mikan warming up to him, and wanting to spend time with him. This can be contrasted with an event that happens around this same time in the manga, though Manga!Natsumikan still hate each other by the time the Culture Fest is announced. He likes her in the anime though, at this point in time, and his rejecting her invitation is not because he doesn’t want to hang out with her, but because she still has a chance to make things right with her class and have a fun Culture Fest without him.

The Reo Arc (Episodes 13, 14, & 15 vs. Chapters 13, 14, 15, & 16)

The Reo Arc (the arc that turns Natsume’s image of Mikan completely around in the manga) is a bit pointless in the grand scheme of things in the anime. Don’t get me wrong, it’s more or less the same story and it’s still fun to watch, but it holds a different weight in the manga. In the anime, he already likes her at this point, so his feelings don’t change much, though they might have gotten stronger and possibly even softer (he seems very angry at himself for liking her before this arc, probably to keep his character in line with the manga, and after the arc he is much less upset about his feelings... or maybe just as upset but for different reasons). The Reo Arc was much better done in the manga. It served two purposes: to make Sumire one of Mikan’s friends and, most importantly, to have Natsume start liking Mikan.

If he already likes Mikan, then the anime should’ve focused more on the purpose of having Sumire and Mikan become friends but the emphasis does not change. It stays focused on Mikan and Natsume, attempting to serve a purpose that has already been served. Plus, the intervention of Narumi and the SA class seems very silly and was done to fill up time in the episodes. I also don’t understand why the culture fest started while Mikan, Natsume, and Sumire were in Reo’s custody, since that wasn’t the case in the manga and it seemed like they changed things for no reason, not even revealing the impact of that change. Furthermore, they were forced by this arc to then include Reo in the Circus Arc, which was undoubtedly the worst mistake of the anime. After all, including a potential big bad who just disappears after he kidnaps three kids isn’t satisfying at all. Narratively, they had to bring him back again as a villain, but the way they did it was lackluster.

Of course, not everything has to have some thematic significance and not everything has to be finely tuned to still be good, but there’s little for me to analyze if it’s so unchanged.

Though there is one scene, before anyone gets kidnapped, that has plenty of stuff to analyze and is thematically important. Natsume has a nightmare of himself entirely shrouded in darkness and surrounded by people whispering about him. He runs, because it’s all he can do, begging people to leave him alone. It’s almost sad that in many ways, Natsume acts so cold because all he wants is for people to leave him alone and yet this behavior is for some quite appealing (hence he has a fan club he couldn’t care less about) or so repulsive that his upperclassmen bully him even more. The dream then shifts to Persona telling him he has a mission, so on top of bullying and ostracization and exclusion, he is also forced into the position of child soldier, doing unspeakable things for an organization that does not care about his safety in the slightest. That’s how he feels, really, like there’s just too much for him to handle, and not enough good to make up for it. He’s shouldering so much pain and has nobody to talk to about it. But then there’s a light! And Mikan’s voice calling for him! And he reaches for her, because it’s the first brightness we’ve seen in this dream, and the first he’s seen in a while.

Unfortunately, that’s not where the dream ends. Natsume can’t reach her. Persona’s grasp is too strong, and he gets pushed right back down into the darkness. This is the most important part of the dream, really, but the part that gets most overlooked. Mikan is Natsume’s light, but he’s not allowed to have her. Natsume’s particular brand of coldness and cruelty to Mikan is to protect her. His life is nothing but darkness and her being his light only illuminates him, while it would bring her darkness and possibly even dim her light. You can’t mix black and white without getting grey--his life would brighten and hers would fade. Moreover, Natsume is dying. He won’t get to be with Mikan, even if he wanted to, even if it wouldn’t ruin her. He doesn’t have time. By the time he gets close enough, he’ll be dead, and it would all have been a moot point.

So much misunderstanding about Natsume’s behavior stems here, from the mistaken belief that he is cold and cruel and mean and distant from Mikan because that’s just the way he is, rather than the way he has to be in order to protect people from himself. From his back story in the manga we see that Natsume was always a snarky, unsmiling kid, but he wasn’t like he was when Mikan met him. He had warmth, passion, life, and the school snuffed that out of him. If Natsume’s head weren’t held constantly under cold water, he’d have a much easier time making friends, having fun, and being happy. He might even give wooing Mikan a shot, because as it stands now, he is not even close to considering it.

Anyhow, the rest of the arc is very similar to the manga, so we’ll focus on that for the next essay. I will discuss this more when I analyze the manga, because those events stay the same but matter way more in terms of the manga.

Episode 16 vs. Chapter 18 & 19

Mikan and her SA class have a labyrinthian Aladdin activity, accomplishable only because of their unique alices, but at first no one wants to play. It takes Mikan’s friends--Ruka, Sumire, and Narumi--to make the attraction popular. I’ll talk more about this in the manga section because it means more in the manga and the anime adaptation didn’t change the original much. The analysis will be much more satisfying in context of the manga, anyway.

Episode 17 vs. Chapter 20 & 22

In the seventeenth episode, Mikan and co. visit Hotaru’s attraction--featuring Pigula from the manga and a little competition attraction featuring chickens. The one noteworthy Natsumikan moment is Natsume conceding that “everyone has to be good at something” when it turns out Mikan is pretty good at the game.

That seems like it could be a compliment, but considering that Mikan is athletically talented and cheerful, she is good at things beyond a chicken game. It just so happens that this game plays on her strengths. Silly Natsume. Later on, Mikan shows her compassion for the little boy who screws up his chicken and Hotaru’s backstory is unlocked. In this episode, the emphasis is on Hotaru and her brother. The manga explores different themes, including Mikan’s insecurity about her alice and not knowing what she wants to do with it, as well as Ruka’s feelings about his triple-star status.

There is one thing that really stands out in the anime that doesn’t have the same meaning in the manga. Earlier, Natsume and Mikan bonded before the culture fest about not being allowed to participate and when she asked if he wanted to hang out with her during it, he helped inspire her to make up with her friends instead. After beating the labyrinth, Natsume got three wishes from Mikan and one of them was to spend time together during the festival. He doesn’t exactly put it that way, in the manga or the anime, instead opting to wish that she’d carry his stuff around, but ultimately he wanted what she had offered: to spend time together during the culture fest. It makes him happy and makes his festival experience so much better, even if she is a downer for some of it.

Summary

This part of the anime, we discover some more information about Natsume. This new information adds new layers to his relationship with Mikan. The scenes the anime adds give the story some extra richness, like the dream he has at the start of the Reo Arc. Because of the addition of Natsume's perspective, we can see more clearly why he acts the way he does, but also why despite all his acting cool, he's still just a kid that wants to have fun and be happy, and why it crushes him that he's not allowed to be a child.

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[dutifullybitchypeach]

ACOSF FINAL THOUGHTS. 3/5

It was good. But it could have been EPIC. I think I got caught up in the hype and should have remained blissfully ignorant. Loved Nestas journey and her finding happiness. WELL DESERVED.

However lots of loose threads, ignored angst, rushed ending, pregnancy plot overshaowed a lot - 2 chapters wasted!

It was Nestas book with Cassians POV to balance. It was interesting to read how skewed, almost backwards it was the way Nesta saw things. Like the IC behaviour/comments at times to her was counter acted then with Cassians interpretation. Really showed her low her self esteem was.

I know it's Nesta letting go and being happy with herself and I believe SJM wrote it this way to be deliberately CLEAR that the IC are NOT perfect and are 100% capable of being total pricks. BUT that they are not held accountable for their actions the same way Nesta is, was frustrating. Cold hard facts: Nesta never murdered/stole/lied/tortured/assaulted anyone. She was a bum and a drunk who spewed hurtful shite. An angry bitch. However the only thing she ever wilfully killed was the King of Hyburn at the NC's request. The level of disgust from Amren/Rhys/Mor directed at Nesta in the beginning was uncomfortable to read and didn't sit well with me.

I'll have to read it again but I was not satisfied . Nestas character arc started half way through ACOWAR. She stepped up when they needed her to.

Feyre agreeing despite her experience in Spring was a step backwards for me. Then again it's exactly what Nesta needed. Cruel to be kind. And Feyre had Nestas back repeatedly throughout the narrative.

Loved Nestas story all of it, training, friendships, self love, etc etc. Gwyn and Emerie ❤ All epic. And she's well...more interesting! Detail on Cassian killing all those monsters, scene in the big, wow so good.

Feysand overkill or perhaps Rhys overkill. Sorry SJM but you need to pull back.

Nessian happened the way I thought it would. That Cassian isn't perfect is normal. His heart is Nestas, it's pretty clear. Smut scenes, I've read better sorry !!! Intensity was not the same as previous books. More sexy and less crude for me. Missed Cassians swagger but I guess we are in his head, and he's a big cuddly insecure bear. With a big d**k.

More thoughts (in my humble opinion).

Feysand pregnancy DRAMA. Unnecessary. Keep it, just don't let it happen the way it did. I've already said I thought the sacrifice should have been for Gywn/Emerie and there is a simple tie in IMO (see previous posts). Or perhaps Cassian actually stabbing himself rather than hurting Nesta with the Queen. But I get SJM and 'losing' her power, that much power just undermines the remaining plot for next few books. Nesta could just blast them all to hell. And she stole it in anger and has let it go with love. Growth! She is clearly still hella powerful. We don't know the half of it.

For me the above was the most irritating. The ending squeezed in. And I like Feysand. But Nesta healing with Feyre needn't have been so convoluted. Or drastic. More private, perhaps a real angsty, tense conversation and confession. They didn't discuss anything.

The last few chapters too much went on...important moments; first females to win The Rite, sidelined. Accepting the mating bond, sidelined. WTF is Nestas power now, sidelined. Queen dead, sidelined. An ILLYRANIAN FEMALE KICKING ASS sidelined. I mean Christ that was Cassians goal! And nothing. NOTHING. Not even a handshake.

Rhys. It was plain uncomfortable. But someone mentioned SJM deliberately wrote Rhys that way for this book and that's true. In the Feyre POV she mentions "two mates" the reasonable one and the asshole so that, I think, is telling. He's def more HL and pulls rank in this book with everyone.

Rhys clearly witnesses Nestas trauma from her nightmare but there is no recognition with Nesta. Not a peep. Yet he clearly feels massive regret. Is that for our benefit, the readers? That at least we know. Don't hate on Rhys. (I like Rhys btw)

I'd have liked a full circle scene where they are back in THAT sitting room admiring baby Nyx and Nesta just says a few things. Cooly and calmly. She's happy they intervened, but for all their wisdom and years of living it left a lot to be desired. Nothing too crazy, just a few delivered lines, Nesta style.

Felt Nesta lost a little of her fire. But maybe you see it more from the others POV. Though they always provoked her and it was a defence mechanism. And she was a bitch at times. With others outside the IC it's clear she is not like that. Make what you will of that.

I know SJM doesn't like to over detail things but a moment with Feyre/Nyx/Nesta alone would have been nice.

The sisters never meeting Gwyn or Emerie. A scene like that would have been powerful.

Amren is as Mor rightly said is a "cranky old bastard". And "Welcome back to the Night Court Nesta Archeron" screamed, now that you've scrubbed up love come on home. I don't know. Amren was clearly done with Nesta she was the one that stood by her the most and got sick shit of her. All Amren can command is respect now and Nesta really wanted hers, possibly the most.

Can I make a point about people harping on about slut shaming. Amren made one catty observation, that Nesta would ride almost anything. No other character mentioned it. Not one. And Nesta enjoyed her bed partners, she refers to some of it (threesome!). There was zero shame. And SJM hates slut shaming. So stop. It's not a thing.

I'm nitpicking but there was a lot of hurt just left off. Perhaps that was the point. SJM was like, fuck it, Nesta doesn't want to feel that anger or resentment anymore she wants to live and be happy. She's found inner peace with herself and those that matter most. Me wanting justification for how they treated her at timea is not the point!!! Lol.

The painting, that stood out for me in ACOFAS. It hurt to read it. Maybe Feyre had nothing to paint of Nesta. They didn't talk. Share thoughts. I think Feyre asking Nesta herself to show her memories of The Rite so she could paint it would have had more impact. But it read very plainly like now you've earned your spot here...or I like you now or something. She was deliberately not there, perhaps until she wanted to be. Or finally accepted and embraced life with the IC. It was an unnecessary detail that just fueled the Feysand halo (again I like Feysand).

Nesta made those weapons therefore they are hers. Amren is power hungry. Rhys seems happy to hand them over. High King drama, I can see it. It could happen.

It's clear that Nesta didn't want to leave the NC, therefore she had to fall in. People have a problem with 'who's boss' but we've only ever had court dynamics from Rhys/Feyre POV. And they are the top dogs in the NC. We are going to have to get used of seeing Feysand make decisions from the outside. It's THEIR court. And to be fair, Feyre always had Nestas back.

And yes I believe you always have a choice with Rhys. I know some scoff at that.

Rhys kneeling to Nesta further proves our gal is a Queen. Feyre is the only one he's ever bowed to. SJM gave us that moment for Nesta and we will have to be content despite he's questionable aggressive behaviour. He clearly has issues with family given his past.

Enjoyed seeing a bit of Elaine. Finally. And Nesta delivered some home truths! Elaine needs to find some backbone. Really looking forward to her story. Go mad SJM!

Feysand POV should have been the fallout of Rhys keeping baby drama from Feyre. Now THAT I would want to hear. And perhaps Feyre saying to Nesta I'm "secretly glad you told me".

Eris I always found super interesting. It's clear to me he knows Mor is gay. Him helping her would have meant she was trapped in the AC. 'Rejecting her' allowed Rhys and Co to save her and to have freedom. She screwed him by keeping it secret. His arc will be with Lucien I think.

Az and Elaine not for me. Sorry. I'd like Lucien to find some happiness. I've spoken of this before see other posts. Az tortures people for a living, he has serious issues.

I've already spoken about Mor....remember her lol. Where is she! Ha! Actions speak louder than words with Mor. Winnow please my mate is being a dick, teach me to dance, dress shopping. But I guess she's Feyres friend, Nesta has hers. Nesta feeling ashamed as to how she treated Mor, will be interesting to see how Mor feels about that oul time when I was such a hypocrite, lol, what I really meant was....

There are 2 more books and a novella so who knows. Nessian ain't over.

Going to look forward to the fanfiction!

Thanks SJM.

[boycottyashahime]

Alright, so I’m bad at Tumblr, and though I wanted to just reblog the original post from @strawberrycreampiefluff and put most of it under a cut or perhaps find a way to trim it, I couldn’t find a way to make it work. So, we’re starting a new thread. Here’s the link the other one if anyone reading hasn’t been following the discussion and want to catch up: https://strawberrycreampiefluff.tumblr.com/post/625063196626223104/what-do-you-think-of-this-whole-ppl-shipping

Anyhow, since we discussed this beforehand, I’ll start from the beginning, only working with the storytelling elements from the series, and I’ll leave out the latter part of the post regarding moralizing (which I mostly agree with anyway, so it’s no loss to me).

“I  was trying to convey that considering the methods of storywriting and telling,  it would break the “pattern” Rumiko Takashi built up and lowering the  impact of Sessh character growth he would later experience.  A father-daughter bond is not inferior to a romantic bond, but it  would seem out of place, to have both his father and brother form a  romantic relationship with a human and then Sessh breaking that pattern  by introducing a new kind of relationship-dynamic - when he is the most  crucial character in the series when it comes to demon-human relations.”

I’m still quite unclear HOW the impact of Sesshomaru’s character growth is necessarily lowered from not having a romantic bond with a human. Why is the continuation of this pattern so important, in your view, to the character’s development? From my perspective, introducing a new relationship dynamic into and breaking patterns is actually a good thing in stories - It’s a great way to add variety and a different point of view to a narrative. Having characters take a pattern in a different, unique direction can add meaning in a way the reader couldn’t see coming, give the story unexpected dimension.

And you’ve already said that you and other shippers like yourself don’t see anything romantic while Rin is still a child in the original series, so that is effectively what happened. Since we agree that the relationship wasn’t actually romantic within the context of the original Inuyasha series, Sesshomaru took a love of a human in an entirely different direction than his father or his brother did. Which conveys complexity in how youkai can relate to humans that wasn’t in the established pattern. As a reader, I find that kind of thing fun and engaging, though you may disagree.

“A father-daughter relationship would still put Sessh in a superior position to Rin (as the father), not adding a lot to his character development other than him caring for one other human being.”

I have to wince here, because while yes, technically Sesshomaru is in a superior position to Rin in a father-daughter relationship, the implication here is that this can be compared to the sense of superiority he had over humans as a whole that you referenced earlier. Is a parent-child relationship really comparable to a racist outlook? I feel like these two things are quite unrelated, having two ENTIRELY different connotations from the word “superior”. One is an entirely natural superior position, using one’s greater experience, knowledge, and ability to facilitate the growth and guidance of someone still on their way up. The other is a wholly unnatural and malicious disregard for a person based on superficial features. Sesshomaru’s superior attitude toward humans before he met Rin was not based on a paternalistic concern, but complete disgust and the notion that they were entirely unworthy of consideration. The two connotations of “superior” here are just not analogous in the greater narrative.

“In a romantic relationship, both partners should be equals (anything  other is unacceptable), for this to happen Sessh would’ve had to lower himself  (his pride) to Rins level, since he was the one with the big ego and  humans were regarded as one of the lower creatures of the food chain.”

Again, I think it is entirely possible for Sesshomaru to learn not to regard humans as “lower on the food chain” through a relationship that ISN’T romance, but that aside, this whole notion brings up a question: why didn’t Rumiko Takahashi write Rin into the story as a young adult? We’ve already discussed how romantic implications to the relationship couldn’t exist while she’s still a child in the series, and why Sesshomaru and Rin are definitely NOT equal during the series. So if it was so important for Sesshomaru to be otherwise equal to Rin so he can lower his pride and truly consider her such, why was Rin not written as a fully autonomous adult so we could cut to the chase? It seems that if what you’re describing was really Rumiko Takahashi’s intent, it would have been a lot easier if the girl was already grown up. At the very least, our dear author could have ended the series when Rin was an appropriate age to actually make the point instead of leaving it hanging.

“Doing the exact same thing he criticized his father for, which  for him would’ve been humiliating in the beginning of the series. The  sequel (if you regard it as canon) goes even farther, making him create  his own half demons - the very reason he hated his brother in the first  place. His mother even said he becomes like his father in the strangest  ways - and the only “strange” thing we know about his father was his  romantic relationship with Izayoi.”

Since English isn’t your first language, I’m guessing you’re just mistaken in the map of this sentence, but the word “strange” here is referring to Sesshomaru’s behavior in relation to his father’s. What is strange is how Sesshomaru is like his father, not his father’s ways. This actually makes the opposite point - it seems to refer to the ways in which Sesshomaru is behaving as odd, maybe in relation to a pattern his father fit into.

“That’s why I think it wouldn’t fall apart if we draw the parallel in a wider context as you say, because other characters didn’t have the same starting point  as Sessh. I very much agree with you, that Inuyasha’s platonic bonds  would also count as a dog forming close bonds with humans, but in  Inuyasha’s or Shippou’s case, they didn’t need the same character  development like Sessh, since they had a different attitude towards  humans or “lesser-beings” in the first place (Inuyasha was even past the  stage of lowering himself, also out of romantic reasons btw, since he  was ready to become human for Kikyo).”

I’m curious as to how the parallel and pattern matter if it’s null and void because Inuyasha and the other characters we talked about have different character arcs. Of course they aren’t starting from the same place as Sesshomaru, characters never do. They’re varied and diverse because it would be boring as tar to write them all going through the same issues. My point about the parallel was that even if it could be said that there’s some similarity in how dog YOUKAI form bonds with humans to actual DOGS, it’s not really a good parallel, because there are other “species” of youkai much less friendly with humans doing it too. I’m having trouble understanding what this argument has to do with that.

In reference to the above, I agree, the example characters you cited didn’t have the same level of dismissive racism as Sesshomaru did (I say “same level” because Shippou does carry a bit of prejudice, even as a small child), but when that’s apparent, why is the pattern even relevant? Since the characters aren’t set to all learn the same lesson, their relationships shouldn’t really resemble each other’s in the long run either, should they? Writers use relationships as tools for character development, and they usually want to use the right tool for the right job. Maybe romantic love with a human was right for Inuyasha because he had issues with vulnerability and reconciling his half-heritage. What if SESSHOMARU benefited more as a character from an unconditional bond (free from the conditions of sexual/romantic attraction) to demonstrate to him how even the weakest creature is incomprehensibly valuable for reasons impossible to articulate, and they are worth using his incredible level of “superior” power to protect and defend them? It’s a different kind of humbling oneself than what you were talking about, but I think it’s just as meaningful, and it fits Sesshomaru’s character development neatly into the the original text. It doesn’t require Sunrise make a sequel more than a decade later to wrap up the character development that Rumiko Takahashi meant to do when Rin grew up even though she could have just written her in as an adult in the first place.

“But Rin will obviously not always stay 8/11 years old, she will grow  into her own person and become a woman (while living apart from Sessh),  creating a completely different power dynamic with Sessh. One that would  still be an imbalance, but much different than when she was a child.”

As far as the narrative was concerned, Rin COULD very well have stayed a child forever, though. She was written as a character in a story. When the story is done, so are the characters. You’ve said before and here that Inuyasha is just fiction, and it is, but accepting that means accepting that Rin doesn’t grow up without some prompting. She doesn’t age but through the hand of a creator, fanfiction authors or Sunrise. When you say she’s not going to stay 8-11 forever, what you mean is that actual humans who experience actual time are not satisfied with her age as it stood when the story ended, and actively impose time upon her.

And since applying time to a fictional character is something that has to be intentional, so too do the conditions you mention to create the perfect environment for the ship. The different dynamic that isn’t father-daughter, but still a little bit of not-weird power imbalance. The “lowering” of Sesshomaru’s ego in that specific romantic way (that I’m still not sure I understand, but we’ll go with it). The way in which the romance is developed without either character realizing it so that Sesshomaru can’t be accused of using the power imbalance to manipulate a girl he’s had authority over since she was eight. Returning to what catalyzed the change in Sesshomaru in the first place while carefully treading around the fact that it was built upon an unconditional relationship that now suddenly has conditions on it. That’s a lot of mental legwork to do, which is fine, because that’s part of creative expression. But you have to acknowledge that none of this would be necessary if the pairing were “obvious”.

It certainly wasn’t very obvious to some of us. We came to a very different conclusion, saw everything a bit differently. Now we’re being punished for having a less popular interpretation of this relationship, shut down by SUNRISE and told that we don’t get to have that interpretation, because they’re considered an authority on what is canon in Inuyasha, and they’re taking sides to squeeze more money out of the Inuyasha franchise with a next-gen sequel. It doesn’t seem to matter that Sunrise was never really very good at telling Inuyasha stories, or that next-gen sequels never seem to be any good for lack of stakes and boring plots.

Sunrise’s interpretation is still considered to be more “valid” than ours. And that really hurts. So, if you found yourself wondering why there’s so much vitriol coming from the anti camp, it’s a combination of this, and the fact that they don’t really have the option of avoiding the content they don’t like anymore. It’s kind of EVERYWHERE now.

So, there we are. I don’t want to give the impression from the above that I’m trying to tear apart your arguments to somehow discredit the pairing. Shippers gonna ship, whether it makes sense to me or not. But I did want to highlight how any of the things you bring up can very well be interpreted entirely differently.

Hope you’re doing well, and you did well on that exam. :)

[pynkhues]

Hi ! I'm sorry if you have already talked about that, I'm just new to the fandom. I just finished s3 and I've felt so conflicted since Lucy's death.. There was a sort of lightness in the show despite of the crime element and obvs flirtation between Brio.. But now, everything seems so dark and Beth is trying to kill him. I feel like there's been a shift and that they'll never be able to come back from it.. What are your thoughts ?? Thank you and stay safe !!

Hi! Welcome to the fandom, anon! :-) 

Season three definitely has a darker feel overall, so I completely understand why you feel conflicted! I think you’re right too - the balance between the lighter elements of the show and the darker ones was really different in s3 compared to seasons 1 and 2, and it gave the season a very different energy. Interestingly though, I don’t actually think the content itself was all that much darker, but rather that shift was felt more in the way that that content was framed and paced.

After all, violence – and the threat of violence – has been a pretty integral part of the show since it began, and while I think there’s a bit to be said about how much of the violence of the show made its way from subtext to text – Eddie’s death happened off-screen, but Lucy’s didn’t, for instance – I also think that there have been moments of textual violence since the show began. Beth knocked Boomer out with a whiskey bottle after he’d tried to rape Annie in the very first episode after all, something that was echoed with Boomer’s completed rape of Mary Pat and her hitting him with her car in 2.03. In that sense, the violence might’ve escalated in some ways across the first two seasons – culminating with Beth shooting Rio in 2.13 – but it’s always been a part of the DNA of the show overall.

In that sense, I think what’s really changed isn’t so much the violence and threat of violence itself, but rather the way that the show frames that violence and the effect that has on the pacing, tone and character beats.

So hey! Let’s break that down a little.

Catch and Release

When it comes to scenes of intense drama or violence – played out or inferred – Good Girls is really a show that, at least for its first two seasons, relies on a pretty defined structure that I’d say goes something like this:

1.    Contextual joke that builds tension and/or sets mood.

2.    Act of violence or drama.

3.    Throwaway joke that breaks tension and/or resets mood.

As a structure, it’s generally pretty effective and is ultimately used to manage the tone of the episode. After all, for a show like Good Girls which is a dramedy, leaning too hard on the joke or too hard on the drama can create the off-balanced feeling we got in s3, but I’ll come back to that later.

This structure essentially presents the violence or drama of the scene as the meat of a burger, allowing the jokes to both complete the meal (delicious!) while also softening up the richness or intensity of the meat itself.

Generally speaking, I’d say Good Girls did this quite simply and effectively in s1, experimented and tested the elastic of it in s2, and more or less got rid of one crucial step in s3. It makes for an interesting exploration of narrative structure, I think, but that’s just because I find this sort of stuff interesting to explore, haha.

So what’s that actually look like in action?

Okay, let’s take 1.01 with the scene I described above.

1.    Contextual joke that builds tension or sets mood

I’d say in this case it was the entire scene at the end of the episode where Annie, Beth and Ruby are arguing about what to do about Rio.

2.    Act of Violence

Boomer attempts to rape Annie, Beth hits Boomer, Boomer falls into the coffee table.

3.    Throwaway joke that breaks tension and resets mood.

And again in 1.02.

1.    Contextual joke that builds tension or sets mood

Annie trying to sell Rio on the dolls.

2.    Act of Violence

Rio ordering Mick to kill Beth.

3.    Throwaway joke that breaks tension and resets mood.

Boomer popping out of the treehouse.

(please forgive my horrible screencaps, I took these after I’d written this post and it’s now late, hahah)

Annnnd again in 1.04

1:

2:

3:

By 1.09, they were already starting to leave wider gaps between the jokes and the tension – which makes sense as it was building towards the climax and they were wanting more drama than comedy – but importantly, this framing was still present. 

1: The girls joking about the van job

2: The tense climax of the van job

3: The joke about the result of the tense climax

And in 2.01, it kept those gaps big as a direct continuation.

1.    Contextual joke that builds tension

Beth putting the mug on the coaster as she scrubs blood off her floor.

2.    Rio shooting Dean in a flashback.

3.    Annie and Ruby bickering about Annie stealing a hospital meal (tone reset as a result of violent climax)

The series went on to test this further in s2 by adding extra beats to create more complex (and interesting, in my opinion!) variations. The clearest example of this is in 2.03 with the Boomer and Mary Pat sequence:

1.    Tension establishing joke: the girls in the hotel bickering about the price of the room.

2.    An act of inferred violence – Boomer rapes Mary Pat

3.    An act of textual violence that builds off both the joke and the inferred violence of the previous scene – Mary Pat runs over Boomer.

4.    A throwaway joke as a tension breaker – Mary Pat worried her kids have heard only to see them engrossed in their devices while the Power of Love plays in the background.

5.    Takes us straight into an even better tension breaker joke with Mary Pat telling the girls she chopped Boomer up.

(That is such. good. snowballing. tension. And I could talk about it forever. Like, seriously. It’s not a sequence we talk about a lot, but 2.03 is an excellent example of complex dramedy writing).

That said, it often still fell back on that classic structure too in satisfying ways. 2.07 being a perfect example.

1.    Contextual joke to establish tension

2.    Tension / act of violence

3.    Tension breaker.

Whiiiich brings us to 2.13.

King

Look, 2.13 doesn’t work for a lot of reasons, but in no small part, it doesn’t work because it doesn’t play with the above structure like the Mary Pat and Boomer arc did in 2.03, nor test the elasticity of it like 1.09 and 2.01 do, rather it completely abandons it altogether.

It doesn’t build tension effectively through that blend of drama and comedy that the show can do really well, nor does it break it afterwards for us with a lighter moment that commentates on that tension, rather it thrusts the violence and drama onto us in a way that wasn’t well established narratively, and – quite frankly – was badly written.

I could talk a lot more about why that narrative choice doesn’t work, but that’s not really what we’re here to talk about. What we’re here to talk about is:

A Change of Pace

Because the thing is, season 3 does actually return to it’s s1 and s2 structure, only with one, crucial change.

It abandons Step 3: the joke that resets the mood.

What this means is that we have the contextual joke which establishes the tension and the mood, and the tension, but then the tension’s never actually broken for us afterwards.

This is perhaps clearest in 3.05 with Lucy’s murder.

1. We have the establishing joke with the girls debating which Au Jus hostage photo to use.

2. We have the act of violence.

And then we have only aftermath.

Ruby crawls into bed with Stan, Annie with Ben, and Beth takes Au Jus home.

On it’s own, I think this is an effective break from structure. I think it underscores the power of this sequence overall and the importance of Lucy’s death as a narrative moment and the ‘innocence lost’ theme. 

Only it’s not on it’s own.

The season kept breaking structure. Over and over again.

It happens after Rio kills Turner in 3.01 (there’s a slightly lighter scene that caps that with Rio checking out of the hotel, so you could kind of argue that it was returning to the same structure, but it doesn’t quite hit the mark for me), it happens when Rio confronts Beth in 3.03 and when he takes her to the OBGYN, it happens when Max tries to confront Rio at the bar in 3.06, and it happens in most of the scenes with the hitman.

In fact, I’d argue that the only scenes that returned to the catch and release structure in s3 were the scene where Ruby stole the hockey jersey, the carwash scene which ended with Mick wanting to go to IHOP and, most effectively, in the Sweet P’s job in 3.10.

You’re talking a lot about sequence structure here, Sophie. 

Right! Sorry! Tangents, haha.

What I’m getting at is that I don’t think the content of the show itself is any different. Murder, crime, intimidation and violence has been central to the show’s DNA since 1.01, and a lot of this has been textual. Lucy’s death I think definitely feels different because she’s the first true innocent we’ve seen killed on this show, but y’know, Rio was threatening to murder random PTA moms way back in 1.07 when Beth’s secret shopper scheme proved – err, unvetted, and Dean was trying to organise hitmen in s2 too.

Structure is important. Structure is what sets up audience expectations and establishes the rhythm of a story as well as – most importantly for this discussion – the tone of one. Seasons 1 and 2 presented the dramatic and comedic elements of the show ultimately as a marriage. The comedy was used frequently to guide us as viewers in and out of tension, and ultimately, I think this is why season 3 felt so different. That three point sequence structure was unbraided, the comedy divorced from the drama, which stuttered the rhythm and ultimately affected the tone.

SO, in answering your question as to whether or not the show can come back from the darkness to find its balance again, yeah, I think it can!

I think the writers sort of wrote themselves into a big, ugly corner with 2.13 and spent a lot of s3 struggling to find a way back out of it. Like, I think on a narrative and a character level, they had to show Rio kill someone in s3 to re-establish him as a character with teeth, because if they hadn’t, he wouldn’t have been the source of tension and conflict that they rely on him to be. I think they committed themselves to darker elements of Beth’s character and to asking the question of what it is the girls are capable of, because that’s the sort of thing you commit yourself to when you throw a grenade into your own story like they did with 2.13.

And look, I don’t think they got themselves out of it perfectly by any stretch of the imagination – in particular sacrificing parts of the way they typically structured tension in violence as they tried to reset the board meant they ultimately also chose to sacrifice both rhythm and tone too – but I think they were rebuilding by the end of s3. I think the Sweet P’s job was this show at it’s tonal best, with that marriage of comedy and anticipation and both personal and criminal stakes really working together to build a great sequence (Beth and the Caesar Salad! Anticipation building with Ruby and Stan as Stan figures out what’s happening! A crime plot! Stan coming through in the end!)  

I think the note the show chose to end the season on with the promise of Boland Bubbles, Ruby and Stan reconnecting and the first glimpse of Phoebe infiltrating the girls does reset the board in a way that leaves a lot more room for lightness than the end of season 2 did, while still offering hooks of conflict and tension too. I also think it allows for a return to the sort of sequence structure that lets the show balance it’s tone in a way that 2.13 frankly didn’t.  

Of course, that’s ultimately if they decide to return to it, haha. I hope they do, and I think we were heading there, but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see! :-) 

[retvenkos]

i just read your tags are you anti-snape?

(so i just saw that my tags were cut off halfway through my rant, so if you want me to finish that, just send in an ask and i will write out my whole thoughts)

okay, so anti-snape is a strong word, with a lot of different connotations to it, and while i wouldn’t brand myself as anti-snape because of all of the strong feelings attached, i would say that i don’t think that snape deserves all of the recognition that he deserves.

why?

what i firstly want to say is that snape is emotional abuser. my case in point here is neville, who had parents that were literally tortured to insanity, proving that his worst fear is snape - his teacher. how many times was snape unusually cruel to neville and harry? how many times did he humiliate hermione - an already bullied, muggle-born student (and possible poc)? snape is established to be cruel, and when you look at his actions, it is clear he is emotionally abusive to his students.

why did i start with this? because i relate with neville - i know what it is like to have your worst fear be an abuser that you face every day. so, therefore, i am biased against snape, and a lot of my dislike for him comes from the fact that no matter how you dice it, this man was in a position of power, abusing those students that looked up to him. 

he especially hated harry, who was an abused kid himself (and there is some kind of narrative in there, an abused kid growing up to hate and alienate an abused kid. i’m not going to get into that. but just think about that for a second and tell me you don’t want to at least dislike snape.). 

and perhaps you want to argue that snape couldn’t know that harry was abused over at privet drive. fair, okay. not everything about a kid can be seen on their face, right? but, one could argue that if snape took the time to look at harry and see him as a kid for a second, he could see hints of it. i have family members who are teachers, and they say that they can never be 100% sure, but they can at least have a good idea of who is abused at home, just based off of the way they interact with other people - especially adults. OR, if you don’t like that idea, you can think of it like this: the teachers at hogwarts are probably close to each other, right? mcgonagall knew (at least to some degree) what the dursleys were like - furthermore, she is close with harry and perceptive. she would have known that harry was abused, and if you don’t think that she wouldn’t have at least mentioned it to snape, i would disagree and say you don’t know mcgonagall. also! dumbledore! there is literally so many opportunities for snape to figure out that harry was abused at home. he just didn’t care.

so, snape is an emotionally abusive man in a position of power, picking on literal children as an outlet for his misplaced anger. this is the set-up for snape, and had he never had an in-depth redemption arc, we would literally all dislike snape.

and i feel like, then, the only reason that we have this snape/anti-snape discourse is dependent on whether or not you think his redemption arc is reason enough to excuse his actions.

and so here we talk about his childhood. which is definitely important and gives good insight, but should not be the only reason as to why he is seen as a good character. childhoods are formative and important, but they are not all encompassing. let’s not forget that snape is a grown man when the story starts. he is 31 years old when we are introduced to his character.

snape had a terrible childhood. he was neglected. he was abused (or so it was implied). he was friendless. he was lonely. he was poorly socialized. he was in a hogwarts house that seemed against him, almost, so he had to work to carve his place out and prove his worth. he wanted to stay at hogwarts all year, if he could.

(sound familiar? harry? neville? you two are here?)

but, school is not always great. at school, there are bullies that are terrible to him - it goes beyond teasing sometimes, snape getting hexed and jinxed and publically humiliated. he has one friend - lily, but sometimes he wonders if she really understands or if she really cares. no one has ever cared for him before, so why should she? he falls in love with her, but she does not reciprocate his feelings. instead, she falls for his tormentor - the person who has made his one safe place terrible, the person who treats him like he’s nothing.

now that is a compelling background. when he falls in with the wrong crowd, we can see why. he is desperate for some kind of belonging, some kind of importance. 

(is that... draco?)

he gets more violent as time goes on. those spells he created? levicorpus? sectumsempra? he’s going down a dark path and he wants to cause pain. he becomes a death eater, and while we don’t get a lot of detail what happens here, he rises in the ranks, which means he had to have done terrible things. at this point, he is clearly a bad person. and maybe he feels remorse during this time, but it’s clearly not enough to push his conscience out of where it is. he is still on voldemort's side.

what changes him? the power of love, of course. because even in this terrible time, he still loves lily - right? but is it love? or is it more like obsession? jk would tell us it’s love, but i would disagree. 

at the beginning, yes. snape loved lily. but after so much has transpired? things changed. snape is no longer as pure as he once was. he changed. any maybe he didn’t notice it, sure. but wasn’t he different, after everything?

if he loved lily, he would have cared about (even minorly) the things she cared for. yes, he could still hate james with a burning passion, yes he could let that ruin his and lily’s relationship,,, but could he become the very thing she feared and abhorred? could he become a death eater, literally killing people she loved? people just like her? could he have gone to her house, stepped over her dead husband, ignored her crying child to mourn her dead body?

this feels more like obsession. if you love someone, you care about them - their wellbeing, their peace of mind. love means you need to have an awareness for who your loved one loves, and you can accept them for the fact that they love someone else. snape shows he doesn’t. he only cares for her.

here we are, now, at this point is snape's story, and the natural progression in his redemption arc is for him to actively try to amend his terrible actions.

and... he does? kind of?

he becomes a double agent which is perfect. he vows to protect harry, which he does, physically... but he has a clear disregard for protecting harry emotionally, which one could argue is most important in harry’s story.

to defeat voldemort, harry has to come to terms with the idea that love is his strongest weapon against the dark lord, right? so snape being horrible to harry is not only bad because emotional abuse is real, but it’s also part of why harry is so angry and bitter in the sixth book, the exact opposite of what he needs to be if he wants to defeat voldemort.

also, snape preaches “control your emotions” but snape... is emotionally unstable and takes out all of his anger on children half his age? idk. that just bothers me.

so i feel like snape kind of half-asses his way through his redemption arc. he has chosen a different side, yes, but he doesn’t make a lot of intrinsic changes. he’s still angry. he’s still bitter. he’s still emotionally manipulative and abusive. 

so really, the question is: is a redemption arc dependent on a change of heart? or is a change of action good enough?

if you haven’t already picked up on how i feel about this issue, i don’t think a change of action is enough.

redemption is the act of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil (thanks, google). it’s absolution for your crimes. i feel like redemption is an intrinsic transformation, and jk preaches that love can do such an act. i’ve already covered that i don’t think snape loved lily, at the point of his big character changing moment. he was obsessed. it was more a change of action, than of heart.

BUT, that doesn’t mean that i don’t think he couldn’t have been redeemed. toward the close of his story, i kind of saw him as going through another arc as a character - i saw him start to care for harry more as harry rather than the child of the woman i’m obsessed with. i think, here,  he’s starting to show that love that jk insists he has. 

i think that if he had more time, he could have had a more full, more satisfying redemption arc. and that’s the tragedy of his character, right? we could always sort of trust him, but we could never fully trust him until the end. he was never really quite redeemed, it was cut short.

so, basically, i grapple with the fact that jk is adamant that snape is the good guy, he’s the redeemable character, when... he’s kind of only halfway there. AND, this is coupled with the fact that i believe draco was halfway there to a complete redemption arc, and jk is equally as adamant against draco getting a redemption arc.

jk has said that she thinks that the people who want draco to be redeemed are just girls obsessed with the bad boy having a heart of gold (which is fair, to some extent), but... isn’t she the exact same with snape? isn’t she equally obsessed that her readers know snape as being the emotionally scarred, bad boy with a heart of gold? food for thought.

also, where i draw a clear distinction between the crimes of draco and the crimes of snape is that draco is a teenager alongside the teenagers he bullies and emotionally abuses (draco, too, is an abuser! if you want an analysis on him, hmu.) draco is a 15 year old abusing other 15 year olds. this is terrible, and it can’t be excused. i agree. BUT, snape is a 31 year old man abusing 11 year olds. he is also their teacher. there is a clear power imbalance coupled with the fact that snape is an adult, who is supposed to be wiser and smarter.

so... long post, forgive me. i could go off about the crimes of jk rowling's depiction of slytherins forever and never be fully satisfied. i’m sure that in a weeks time i will have more i want to add onto this post. but for now, these are my thoughts on snape’s redemption arc, and my answer to whether or not i am anti-snape.

i am sure that after reading this, there are some of you who will think that i am anti-snape. that’s fine. you can have your own opinion, but if you are going to say that, know why.

no opinion is good if you can’t explain why.

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Put Me In a Movie

Keanu Reeves x Reader (A/n- its been a while, I haven’t known how to carry the story forward, but recently had a burst of inspiration and wrote the next three chapters. Judging from the last chapter’s feedback, the events of this one isn’t going to be too satisfying.)

Summary Prologue  1   2   3  4  5  6 7  8  9  10  11  12  13

Warnings- Angst, angst and more angst

Chapter 14- Cut The Ropes And Let Me Fall

2 Months Later Filming had been through with Jackson’s yelling, “And that’s a wrap!” At the end of the last scene. The camera had stopped rolling, and wouldn’t again unless the need for re shoots arose and by the end of the week, Y/n and Keanu were carded to fly back to Los Angeles. But that wouldn’t be before a photo shoot for promotional pictures and the wrap party the night before their flights. 

By then, they’d managed to smoothen things out yet again, though, they hadn’t been left void of tension; every now and then, they’d reach a fork in the road, reminding them that things weren’t what they used to be. He’d say something a little too harsh or Y/n would get a bit too close, and for a few days, until one of them had decided that it was time to forget, they’d toe around each other, desperately avoiding any kind of serious talk. 

But, despite the awkwardness, things were surprisingly good too. The highs were higher than they used to be. Keanu had mostly forgone his suite, falling asleep next to Y/n most nights, and they would wake up tangled in each other’s embrace the next morning. It was nice, and was worth the bursts of tension, that served as tormenting punctuation.

“You look cute in this,” Keanu slowly sauntered towards Y/n in the now empty dressing room, immediately taking her in his arms, bending to nuzzle her cheek, "You should keep this blouse," he tugged on the fabric of the lace crop top, which generously boasted her cleavage, the color standing out on her skin.

"Maybe I'll ask if I can," Y/n giggled, looking at their reflections in the lengthy mirror mounted to the wall. Her manicured nails skimmed his forearms, clad in leather, leaning her head back on his shoulder. 

Quickly kissing her, Keanu let his touch invade the scalloped hem, inching upwards suggestively, "How long do we have before the shoot?" The mumbled inquisition was muffled as his ministrations traveled lower; behind her ear lobe, lower down her jaw and along the delicate column of her neck. 

"Not long enough," with wavering restraint, Y/n tried to untangle herself from Keanu's affectionate embrace. He'd still insisted on keeping their entanglement under wraps, hiding things from the press and their co workers. Of course, there'd been a few close calls; pictures taken displaying compromising positions and mummers on social media, but even then, their respective publicists had been able to spin the stories to suit their narratives. Y/n and Keanu were close, comfortable friends, who'd grown used to intimacy on set; there was nothing more between them. Each time, it had stung and Y/n couldn't help but feel like his dirty little secret during those periods. But alas, if she wanted him, she'd have to compromise. That was how relationships worked, right?

Even if what they shared was never really a relationship.

Wiggling and turning in his embrace, Y/n gently pushed on Keanu’s chest, biting half her lip as her eyes sparkled, clearly wanting things to continue, just as much as he did, “As much as I want to, we have maybe ten minutes-”

“I’m sure we can make that work,” Keanu leaned in, trying to kiss her again, “Besides, who cares if we're a little late huh? We’re the stars babygirl, they aren’t gonna start without us. Now come on,” dismissing her objecting, outstretched arms, Keanu closed the space, finding her lips in a breath-stealing, hungry kiss, already pawing as the button of her jeans.

“Is the door locked?” Breathless, Y/n spoke against her lips, smiling at how his beard scratched her face. Y/n was already in the process of finding the lapels of his jacket, ready to push it off his broad shoulders, when, answering her question instead of Keanu, was the sound of someone opening the door.

“Places in- '' Jackson stopped abruptly upon seeing them, and frazzled they instantly sprang apart. Immediately, Keanu folded his arms, backing away hastily to put some space between them while Y/n slumped against the edge of the counter, where various products had remained scattered. After months of hiding things, they’d gotten caught on their very last day on set. “I knew it!” Smirking defiantly, Jackson propped himself on the door-frame, “You two,” he pointed between them, “Are good actors, but terrible liars. Especially you,” he pointed accusingly to Keanu, who went all red in the cheeks, barely saved by his scruff covering half his face. 

“What?” Y/n croaked, her throat suddenly dry and her voice hoarse. She was fine with being discovered, but Keanu, she couldn’t tell what he’d do when they were alone. Maybe he’d decide that she wasn’t worth the risk. Maybe she should get to decide if he was worth another round of tears. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew,” maybe their resident mad genius wasn’t as mad and out of touch as they’d made him out to be. It was always the ones you didn’t suspect anyway. “Those little looks that you two share, the very realistic kisses. At first, I thought I’d struck a chemistry goldmine,” chuckling, Jackson shook his head, pushing up his glasses with his pointer, “But there was something about the way you hold her,” he turned to Keanu, his features softening, “I’d never seen in something,” making an elaborate gesture with his hands, Jackson searched the ceiling for the right word, “Manufactured.”

“I…..” She could tell he was flustered and uncomfortable, even from where she stood, almost two feet away. Keanu would have done everything to keep their so-called relationship in a box, away from the outside, away from something that would make it real.

Saving Keanu the trouble of having to find an excuse to deter his suspicions, Jackson's ability to be sociable left as quickly as it came, and in no time, he was back to his skittish, borderline intolerable self, “Well,” he clapped his hands dramatically, “I hope you two can keep up this momentum, it’ll be fantastic for press. We can tell the media that working together sparked your love and now, you’re inseparable, I’ll run in by the publicists,” already he was walking out of the room, expecting Y/n and Keanu to follow him, something they’d only caught up on when he’d already started down the long hall. Before they joined Jackson, Y/n tried to catch Keanu’s gaze, hoping to gauge his reaction, but he was actively avoiding her face, and that in itself was enough to tell her that he was not okay with what had gone down. 

“Your relationship is going to be a great selling point,” he continued, not caring for their objections, his mind already made up, “But anyways,” they’d just broken off onto the main floor, where things were already set up for the photo shoot, “We should get into the shoot, we’ve only got this guy for a couple hours, Gary had an emergency back home,” Jackson explained briskly, “But thankfully, Lucas here is an amazing photographer. Lucas!” Jackson snapped his fingers, beckoning over a tall, blonde figure.

When Y/n saw his face, she gasped, and she could have sworn that it was impossible for her jaw to not hit the floor. As if things couldn’t get worse. “It’s actually just…..” upon seeing her, he seemed just as shocked, though Y/n supposed that he should have had the upper hand, considering he should have known what movie he’d be doing the pictures for. “It’s just Luke,” he finished, shaking his head, looking bewildered, “Y/n.”

“Luke, you’re….” at a loss for words, Y/n couldn’t help but long for a spontaneous split in the earth to swallow her up and dump her straight into hell. At least there she wouldn’t have to deal with awkward situations with her current ‘sort of’ boyfriend and a ‘sort of ex-boyfriend’ that she’d never officially broken up with. “You’re doing the shoot?”

Clearing his throat, he rubbed the back of his neck, clearly as uncomfortable with it as she was, “I am, Y/n-”

“Well, lady and gents,” Jackson interrupted, apparently not noting the tension, “We’ve only got this place for a few more hours, so we should get started.”

“Yeah, okay,” Keanu was the one who’d spoken, and it was the first time since he’d been cut off by Jackson in the dressing in the dressing room that he’d even opened his mouth, two words said in a tone that was perfectly u readable, “Let’s do this,” without another word, he walked off in the direction of the set up, not even offering a backwards glance.

Y/n was about to break off from the group and do the same, when, just as Jackson moved away, Luke grabbed her arm in a loose grip, “Hey,” he offered her a faltering, faint smile, “Can we talk after?” 

His eyes were pleading, though, just as Y/n was going to tell him that they could, Jackson circled back, “Oh and Lucas,” he’d already completely forgotten, or perhaps he just wasn’t listening, Luke’s clarification of his name, “Get some some good ones of the happy couple.”

“Couple?” His gaze still penetrated Y/n’s sickened expression, though his brows now falling as hope drained from his face, “Right”

“Luke-”

“You know what?” He mustered up a brave face to hide his hurt, letting go of her arm and taking two steps back, “Never mind, let’s just get this done, okay?” And when she nodded, not really knowing how to remedy anything that had happened in the past thirty minutes, he turned away, “Great.”

Great?

No, it wasn’t great. Not really.

Music throbbed in his chest and the air was ignited by a buzz fueled by freely flowing alcohol and the relaxed, carefree demeanor of the cast and crew alike. Filming was finally over, they’d put in the hard work and they'd reap the rewards in about four or five months. He should have been enjoying the party like everyone else, but Keanu just couldn't.

So, instead, he'd gone out through the back of the club, lighting a cigarette between his lips and holding a half finished beer in his free hand. Since earlier that day, when Jackson had caught him and Y/n almost in the act, his mind had been bombarded with a flurry of thoughts. He was the one that had wanted what they had hidden, while simultaneously, Keanu was also the one making it glaringly obvious. That wasn't what he wanted; Y/n was making a fool of him, and fools got hurt. 

Keanu didn't want to get hurt.

Things had only gone even further downhill during the photo shoot and Keanu could tell that it was taking everything in Luke to not take a swing at him. Keanu couldn't blame him, if the roles were reversed he might have done the same. Y/n was……..absolutely astounding. She was breathtakingly gorgeous, incredibly intelligent and had a one in a million personality. She worth punches. She was worth more than he could give. Because as hard as Keanu had tried to convince himself that they could work, he knew that he was just postponing the inevitable. He couldn't be with her forever, he wasn't the forever kind of man and her affections already ran deeper than his by far. 

He couldn't do that to her anymore.

The fun was over.

Taking a pull from his smoke, blowing out a white puff seconds later, Keanu barely turned when the heavy iron door behind him in the dark alley way dragged open with a definitive wail. He knew who it was without even looking, he could smell her perfume, clinging to her satin skin and the shimmery black, mini slip dress that she'd slid into before they left her hotel room. He'd had her in that dress, while it was bunched up over her stomach and she was pressed against the wall of the living room, just before they'd left for the party. If only Keanu had known it was the last time he'd lay hands on Y/n again, he might have savored it more.

"You've been out here for a while," he knew that she'd picked up on his pensive mood a while ago, and though he hadn't asked, and not had she told him, Keanu could tell that there was something weighing heavy on Y/n's mind.

"I wanted a cigarette," he huffed, blowing out another cloud, finally glancing her way when she came to stand beside him, staying a few inches away. "Shouldn't you be inside?"

"Yeah," she chortled halfheartedly, rolling her eyes, taking a punctuating sip from her red disposable cup, "Shouldn't you?"

"I told you-"

"I heard you before," when Y/n cut him off, Keanu could sense a new malice in her voice, and growing defensive, he wondered where it came from.

"What's your problem?" He rolled his eyes, taking one last drag from the stub before tossing it to the ground and putting it out with the toe of his worn brown boot.

As it seemed, Keanu wasn't the only one putting up unwarranted defenses that night, as Y/n shot back, "My problem?" Moving around so he'd be forced to look at her, Y/n licked her lips, shaking her head, "You're the one who's been icing his girlfriend out."

And just like that, just as he fired his last, shitty attempt of a defense mechanism, Keanu chuckled dryly, not even thinking as he spoke, "You're not my girlfriend." Though, the minute he caught his foot in his mouth, Keanu tried to clarify, "Fuck, that's not-"

But it was too late, it was already out there and Keanu's words had hit Y/n like a bullet to the chest, "What?" Her anger, chased with insurmountable hurt and swirling confusion flared, driving what came next, "That's not what you meant?" She mocked, trying to suppress a sniffle, "What did you mean, huh? Did you mean that I'm just some girl you're fucking cause its convenient? Or did you mean that you were still seeing were this is going, and so far, it's not going like I'm your girlfriend," she took a breath, gathering her thoughts, "Well newsflash Keanu, maybe that's a good thing, maybe I don't want to be your fucking girlfriend!"

Her words were angry, but he could see past it, the cracks in her exterior shining through to show her pain. The tears in her ears, the break in her throat. Yet still, he didn't sympathize. If they were going to be like that then it was every man for themselves. "Well maybe that's good!" He yelled, not caring if anyone would hear them over the music, "Cause this isn't working for me."

"This isn't working for you?" Y/n repeated incredulously, "It was working for today, when you wanted to fuck me over a makeup table. It was working for you when we fucked while the car was waiting for us downstairs, right before we came here. God you're so…..ugh!" Through with it, ready to just be alone with her hurt, Y/n tossed her cup at him, watching as it bounced off his chest, the alcohol soaking his front, "You know, everyone thinks you're such a nice guy, but really, you're just another asshole. No wonder you're alone."

"I-" But his argument was muted, for in just seconds, Y/n was gone through the door again, slamming it on her way in, leaving Keanu to curse at the cold air as he spun and tossed his bottle to the grimy wall, the smashing filling his ears. That was it, they were over, and on his terms too. He'd been the one to pick the fight, fan the flame. Keanu wanted that, he wanted to be done so he could move on without falling too deep. And for a while, he'd told himself it would be easy because really, he'd barely let Y/n scratch his surface. 

A breakup was what he wanted. But as he stood there, face hot and eyes stinging by surprise, Keanu couldn't quite decipher why it hurt so bad. Why his breath had gone so ragged, why tears were falling down his face. Why his heart felt like it was breaking. 

*****

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