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parfaitblogs · 3 days

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fresh out the slammer ❀ s. reid x reader

in which spencer reid comes home from prison, and needs to fulfil everything he has missed about you.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: smut & comfort (18+ mdni) tags: post prison!reid. soft dom!spencer. teeth might rot i was cringing during some of this. established relationship. the briefest of breast play because what do i hate? the word nipple! fingering. p in v. no protection is mentioned but imagine what you will. casual nudity afterwards. spencer's got bruises from prison. i lowkey forgot about his thigh wound until the very end. word count: 5.7k a/n: there's a completely different version of me in a world where i didn't write this. i hope she's doing well. i feel like i've been reborn. this is stupidly long LOL my apologies. pleaseee tell me if you liked this! or if you didn't! i love feedback! here's my monthly smut fic see you all in october!

Three months wasn't a long time, in the grand scheme of things. A quarter of a year usually went by too quickly for anybody's liking, the year sprinting through seasons until all twelve months were complete, and you were repeating it all over again. Usually. Three months without Spencer Reid, however, went by achingly slowly. And you hadn't originally considered just how agonising they could be.

Each day was another painful mirror of the last, waking up and going to bed with the same sense of dread in your stomach, oftentimes swallowing you whole and leaving you unable to do just about anything at all.

Living life without Spencer Reid was hard.

You saw him — of course you did. Despite his original efforts to keep you off the approved visitors list, Penelope Garcia had seen one glimpse of your heart shattered expression upon being told, and marched her way to the prison to slap sense into him. You weren't sure if that was metaphoric or not.

However, seeing him once every other week and living with him were two very different situations. You hadn't realised just how much you had depended on him always being there when you woke up in the morning until you were waking up to cold bed sheets and a pillow clutched petulantly to your chest in hopes of recreating the warmth only Spencer could provide.

And then he was free.

From prison, that is. You hadn't heard it all — information about his time in prison had been kept from you in an attempt to protect your own peace of mind. But you knew from at least the bruises he was always sporting no matter when you went to visit him, that something awful had happened to him in there, and his own brain would keep him imprisoned for as long as it wished.

But he was free.

And he was here, and you were staring up at his face littered with unkempt facial hair and a head of untreated curls, and regardless of everything horrific he had endured brewing behind his eyes, he was staring at you with the same softness he had before any of this happened.

Despite the beginning of a protest when you wrapped your arms around his torso, you hugged him, and he hugged you, and even the faintest smell of grime and blood couldn't stop you from gripping onto him with so much force you thought your knuckles would break.

"You're real," you whispered into his chest, muffled by it, and it shook beneath your face as he laughed, quietly. Beautifully.

"I am," he answered, and you could feel him crushing his own facial features into the top of your head, no doubt inhaling your shampoo. "You're real."

"Yes," you confirmed with a nod.

Maybe hours passed, perhaps only minutes. Whichever it was, you were still reluctant to pull away from him until he did, your face stained with tear streaks you don't remember shedding, his own eyes glassy as your gazes met.

"You don't want to talk about it, do you?" you asked him, walking backwards as you led him out of the doorway you two had been finding solace in, and further into the apartment space you were ecstatic to share together again.

"Not particularly," he answered, strides catching up to you and encasing your waist between his hands, tugging your body closer to his own. "Is that okay?"

"As long as you promise not to keep it in," you replied, teeth chewing into your lower lip in a contemplative habit.

"I have counselling at work," he said, and you nodded, your facial features softening only a little — you knew him well enough to know he wouldn't enjoy said counselling sessions. Breath tickled your lips as he leaned in a little closer, inciting heat onto your cheeks. "Any other questions?"

"No," you replied, your own lips twitching in amusement. "That's it. Why?"

"Because I haven't kissed you in three months," he murmured, "and I want to."

"Maybe," you said with a hum, and he said your name chidingly, eliciting a laugh from you. "Yeah. Okay."

To be honest, you had spent a few too many nights allowing your thoughts to wander and end up dreaming about what it would be like to kiss him again. Whether or not either of you would have the patience to be gentle and kind to one another. In those nights, you had decided you would be. Your heart cracking every time you thought of Spencer alone in a concrete cell that it left you with a gaping hole in your chest. All you really wanted was to hold him and remind him how adored he was.

Right now, you learned you wouldn't be.

There was a tenderness in the way his hands found your cheeks to cup, and there was a softness in his fingertips against your skin. Yet, everything he kissed with was anything but. Feverish and quick, swallowing you whole and inspiring a spark in your chest that resulted in you kissing back just as hungry.

Just when you thought there was nothing left to trigger within him, a squeak left your lips as the result of him tugging you impossibly closer, and he was beginning to walk you backwards, even further into the apartment, his kiss growing all consuming.

"Spencer," you said, breathlessly, jerking your head back, staring at him, waiting for him to realise you weren't returning your lips to his, and his eyes opened.

"What?" he asked, almost irritatedly. When he watched the slight flicker of hurt flash on your face at the tone, his own expression became gentler. "I'm sorry. Is something wrong?"

Immediately, you shook your head. "No. I just wanted to check how far you wanted to go," your hands travelled up to his hair, fingers scratching gently against his scalp. "I know there's a lot going on up here."

"Actually, right now it's just you," he said, tilting a head to the side to lean into one of your palms. "It's mostly you all the time. But right now you're consuming it."

"I make such an impact on your life," you quipped.

"I know you're teasing, but you do," he replied, fingers tracing up and down either side of your jawline, eyes searching each small detail on your face he had no doubt already memorised. "I survived in there for you."

"Oh."

Probably not the most eloquent response for the things he had just confessed, but truly your brain had scrambled within an instant, and you weren't sure what to say.

"Sorry," he said, hands stilling on your face. "To answer your question, I don't know. I really missed you."

"I know," you said when a gaping silence followed his words. "We don't have to."

"I think I want to."

Your eyebrows furrowed. "You can't think, Spence. You've gotta know."

"I've definitely said that to you before," he chided, thinking for a moment, before, "yes. I did. First time we had sex."

"Sue me for repeating important sexual advice to you, Spencer Reid," you huffed. He laughed.

"No, I mean, I do. Want to," he finally replied. "I'm really scared of hurting you."

"Do you want to hurt me?"

"No."

"Then you won't," you reassured him, despite knowing whatever doubt he had in himself would not be resolved just like that, and it'll probably eat at his mind for a long while. "And even if you do, I won't be upset with you." When his face scrunched and his expression mirrored judgement, you stammered to clarify. "Not in a kinky way. Don't look at me like that, Spencer. Stop it. I just meant I'll understand. And I won't be mad."

"Didn't take you to be into masochism," he mumbled, and you groaned at his selective hearing, dropping your forehead to his shoulder, that shook with his laughter. "Kidding, honey. I know what you mean."

"Not funny."

"It was a little," he countered, a hand reaching up to entangle within your hair to pull your head back, gently, so he could look at you again.

"Hi," you said when your eyes locked once more.

"Hello," he answered, his lips pulling into a smile. "I'd like to kiss you again."

"You've used up your kiss for the day, actually," you replied, sweetly beaming up at him.

"Quiet," he shot back, leaning forwards and allowing his lips to brush hesitantly against yours, eyes searching your own with an added hint of desperation. "Please?"

You pretended to think for a moment too long, because he was already mumbling something that sounded a little like 'brat', and pressed his mouth to yours once more.

You couldn't complain.

It was the same intensity as earlier, and yet there was something in it that differentiated the homesickness of the kiss from then, and the desperation now. Large hands — that you would probably allow to encase you whole — pathetically held your face lightly, hips knocking with yours as he walked you backwards and up against the back of the couch.

"Spence," you whimpered embarrassingly, hands clawing at the sleeves of his suit jacket, trialling and failing at tugging it off his body.

"I got you, sweet girl," he mumbled against your lips, not breaking the kiss for even a second as he helped you, shrugging the jacket off and allowing it to fall to the floor — something he will certainly chastise himself for later.

"Bedroom," you said, in between heavy breaths and feverish kisses. A request he was more than happy to comply to, for he had nodded, and you were instantaneously tugging on one of his hands in the direction of the room, his eyes fixated on your body as he trailed behind.

"Missed you so much," he murmured as he tugged you back towards him the second he had kicked the door shut, lips finding the corner of your mouth, then your jawline, then your neck, as he kissed down you.

"So you've said," you breathed out, tilting your head to the side as he gently nipped at the skin.

"Do you get off on being mean to me?" he chided, lifting his head to look at you again, and your heart stuttered.

"No. Just that dominance act that it brings out," you murmured, attempting to keep the mood light. Successfully so, for air huffed out of his nose as his lips twitched, fingers that had dropped to your waist squeezing it gently. In unresolved doubt, you added, "I missed you too. Don't worry."

"I'm not," he replied, and the weight lifted off your shoulders. "Lie down."

"So demanding," you teased, though his tone was anything but firm.

You were met with an unimpressed look, and you merely grinned back as you climbed onto the bed, sitting cross legged atop it, staring up at him expectingly.

Instead of moving over you like you had expected, he crouched at the foot of the bed, holding his hands out on the mattress in front of you. Needing no more than the simple gesture, you untangled your legs and stretched them out in front of you, and he tugged you down towards the end of the bed, breath hitting the skin of your thighs deliciously.

"I'm supposed to be making you feel good," you argued when his fingers trailed up the sides of your legs, finding the waistband of your pyjama shorts.

"Why?" he questioned, halting his movements as he searched your face.

"Because you're the one who just got out of prison," his face scrunched at the verbal reminder. "Sorry. But... yeah. I have thought about making you come the day you got home like daily."

"Oh have you?" his eyebrows shot up, and it was then that your brain caught up to your running mouth, and your cheeks heated up.

"Nope. Forget I said anything."

"No," he pushed himself up from the floor, moving his body over yours on the bed, successfully forcing you to lie back. "Tell me those thoughts."

"Spencer," you moaned, shaking your head as you buried your face into your hands, that he was a little too quick to catch and pry away.

"I'm not going to judge you," he said, amused. "In fact, I aspire to know every single thought there is up in that pretty head of yours. Especially the ones about me. Please tell me."

"I just thought about making you come. There's nothing more exciting to it."

"Yes, but how?"

"My mouth, I guess," you mumbled, voice going impossibly quiet. "I don't know."

"You're acting like you have never given me oral," he said, catching your gaze within milliseconds of you averting it, thumb and forefinger straightening your head again.

"Nobody says oral, Spencer. Say head," your own face now scrunched up.

"Lots of people say oral," he defended.

"Yeah, old people. We are not old people."

"Fine, you're acting like you have never given me head."

Despite it being a jab at him to take the heat off of you, the phrase coming out from his lips sounded exceptionally vulgar for what it was, and it only resulted in your stomach flipping.

Finally, you regained some control over your own thoughts, and you found it in you to reply. "That's what I want to do. Because I want to make you feel good."

"You underestimate how much I gain from making you feel good," he countered, fingers lazily caressing the skin of your jaw as his eyes studied your face with an intensity that had your stomach flipping.

"It cannot be as good as an orgasm," you huffed, stubbornly so.

He nipped at your nose. "It is."

"Can we compromise?"

"So you don't want me to give you oral?" his eyebrows rose.

In every other situation, you would not be fighting him on this. In fact, he would probably have already gotten his foreplay of teasing and teetering you on the edge out of the way by now, and you'd be well and truly content. However, the forefront of your mind was still plagued by how little time Spencer had to take care of himself, and the last thing you needed him to be was at your service. Despite his protests.

"Head," you corrected. "And no."

He searched for remnants of a lie for a few beats longer, before he nodded his head, giving in. "What's your compromise, honey?"

"I don't think there's a sexy way to say to just put it in me," you said, and his lips curled up into an amused smile, followed by a huff of laughter.

"No, I don't think there is," he agreed. "I do think anything you say can be sexy, though."

You pulled a face, and you shook your head. "No. Don't say that ever again either."

"I can't compliment you, I can't give you ora—head," he rattled off. "Is there anything good I get out of this?"

"You get to fuck me?" you batted your eyelashes up at him.

"Such vulgar language," he chastised, ducking his head when a hand of yours rose to swat him.

Despite himself, his head had dropped to the crook of your neck, and he had begun placing feather like kisses along the skin that distracted you just enough to drop your hand back to the mattress beneath you.

Any other day, and you'd probably still be bickering with him until the minute he made you come. However, three months without even the faintest of touches from him left you overwhelmed with everything he did to you, and so the gentle kisses trailing down to the collar of your shirt were enough to destroy any coherent thoughts you could have.

Cautiously, and with a touch so delicate, Spencer lifted your — his — shirt up your abdomen, fingertips leaving behind the warmest of trails as they skimmed along your skin. One quiet whine from you was all it took for him to hurry his teasing along, and soon enough your shirt was discarded.

A quiet, sharp inhale of air was the other sound aside from your quickened breathing, and you felt tears sting your vision as another kiss was placed just below your now exposed collarbone.

The time without you seemed to weigh nothing in his mind as he took every inch of you in separately, lips mapping out your body like it was the first time all over again, though still knowing exactly when to pause and pay attention to for the sweetest of sounds to be ripped from your throat.

He liked to hear you.

Fingers found your waist as his lips kissed down your sternum, then back up and over until they reached your nipple. He spent time on each breast, ignoring your impatient whining as he neglected the rest of you for a few minutes too long (in your opinion).

"Spencer," you scolded, and it was all it took for him to accept you were not in the mood to wait, and for him to decide he wasn't either.

"Sorry, honey," he replied, voice impossibly soft as he returned his lips to your face, a kiss pressed to the corner of your mouth as his fingers found your shorts again. "Can I take these off?"

"I think we're incredibly out of balance," you replied. And though there wasn't really anything wrong with the sentence — you had certainly said it before — he still pulled back, an unrecognisable grey clouding his eyes. "What?"

"I want to keep my shirt on," was his response, the words inciting confusion to your face.

"What? Why?"

"Do I need a reason?"

You wanted to scream that yes, he did. But did he? Wordlessly, you shook your head, but it didn't help the pang of worry in your chest.

"Unless there's something like an embarrassing tattoo, I'm not going to judge you," you decided to say instead. "Did you get an embarrassing tattoo in prison?"

"No," he shook his head, and you were comforted by the amusement in his tone. "I didn't have the best time in prison."

"I know," you replied.

"And I wasn't very liked. By the men in there."

You knew that too, to an extent. You knew the bruises on his face weren't self inflicted. "You're liked by me."

"I know, sweet girl," a heart shatteringly sad smile stretched across his face as a hand lifted to your cheek. "It just isn't very pretty. And I don't want you to worry."

Well, now you were. Regardless, you nodded your head, turning your head to the side so you could kiss the palm of the hand on your face. "I won't worry, then."

"I want to keep my shirt on. Can that please be okay with you?"

Silently, and after a debate inside your brain, you nodded your head. Gratefully, he pecked your lips once more, before his focus shifted back to you and your body.

"Shorts. Can I take them off?" he asked, again.

"Yes."

"Thank you."

His fingers collected the fabric of your shorts' waistband, and gently pulled them down your legs, cool air washing over you despite the final leftover article of clothing on your body. You shivered, and you could hear him mumbling nearly incoherent apologies as he kissed your stomach.

"These too?" he then asked, eyes flickering between your face for confirmation, and the pair of underwear you still had residing on your body. You nodded your head, and he pulled them down too.

You do not remember a time ever fearing being naked beneath Spencer Reid's gaze, and that did not change even now, as an arguably different man drank in your entire body, the love he had for you not having wavered despite the passing of time.

And you certainly did not fear the way one of his hands slid up your leg, seemingly soothingly, until it teetered on the edge of too far up the limb to be innocent, and he was intensely watching your face for every reaction you could possibly make.

Achingly gently, his middle finger ran up the centre, collecting arousal you hadn't realised was there and knuckle gently bumping your clit, eliciting a quiet mewl from you. You watched him smile at the sound, dragging his finger back down, gathering more of your arousal until he was pushing the finger in.

Your eyes fluttered shut, the feeling oh so familiar, and yet seemingly foreign all at once. Too long, you decided then. Three months is too long.

Leaning back down, his lips brushed your jawline, the otherwise odd sensation of there being something — someone — inside of you balancing out with the pleasure that came from the comfort of it being him. And of course the delicate circles his thumb had begun to draw on your clit.

"Did you do this while I was in prison?" he asked you, lips moving against your skin.

"Touch myself?"

"Mhm."

"Yeah," you said, voice breathless. "Was never good, though."

"No?" he asked, curling his finger inside of you and tugging a louder moan from your throat. "Why not?"

"Just never felt as nice. Not like you."

"Oh. I'm sorry, angel," he murmured, pulling his lips away so he could look at you again. Though, your eyes were still planted shut. "I'll make up for it then, yeah?"

You feverishly nodded your head, and he laughed. Fulfilling his promise, he sped up the motions of his finger and thumb, your hands grabbing ahold of fistfuls of the sheets, in hopes that it will provide some comfort from the overwhelming feeling of Spencer touching you again.

"Can I add another finger?" he asked, and though slightly hesitant, you nodded your head.

He waited a beat longer before fulfilling your request, and there was something obscene about how easily another finger entered you. Though, Spencer thought it was pretty, and your back arching was pretty, and yes, he had missed this and he had missed you and he was biting his tongue from telling you that all over again.

"Spencer," a delicately breathy whine left your lips when the heel of his palm collided with your clit — thumb long forgotten once he had gotten distracted with thrusting fingers in and out of you.

"Hm?"

Your eyes fluttered open to meet his, the kindest smile on his face reminding you just how much he adored you, and your heart sporadically beat in your chest. When you didn't say anything else, he quickened his ministrations, eliciting more whines and moans.

"Is two orgasms too much for tonight?" he asked you, the question seemingly innocent regardless of both it's undertones, and what he was currently doing to you.

In hindsight you should've probably said yes. It most certainly would've hurried things along to something he would enjoy as much as you. However, if Spencer Reid fingering you was a religion, you were an eternally loyal follower, and you would do anything to keep him there for as long as you could.

So you shook your head, murmuring a quiet, "No. I can do two," and allowing him to fasten his fingers once more.

Fingers found and massaged that spot inside of you he had probably engrained into his brain, and he was leaning down to swallow the loud moan that followed from the feeling. Practiced motions tore the same sounds from your throat as he repeatedly brushed up against it, until your eyes were forced to squeeze shut once more, and hands that were once seeking solace in the sheets, found his wrist and wrapped around it.

"I can't move if you're going to keep my arm locked up, angel," he said when your nails dug into his wrist, lips smiling against your skin.

A few short jerks of his hand convinced you to let go of the death grip you had on him, instead returning them to the mattress.

Then he was doing that motion again, and again, and you were silently praying he would never stop. Although, if your moans were any indication to where you were at — and they were — Spencer wouldn't.

Your hips bucking told him more than he needed to know, and the absence of his body above you when he lay down on the bed next to you was long forgotten when a splayed hand on your abdomen pushed you back down into the mattress, your heart stuttering at the feeling.

Gentle whines of his name, and a repeated mantra of 'please, please, please' was the only thing your otherwise dismantled brain could come up with, and Spencer was relishing in the knowledge that he was doing this to you. And though it is something he knows he's done before, it had been far too long since and the reminder was always welcome.

"I know, sweet girl," he said against you when your eyes came open and searched his desperately, walls fluttering around his fingers indicating just how close you were.

"Please don't stop."

"I won't," he confirmed, punctuating the promise with his thumb returning to your clit. He had your best interest in mind — you knew that. He now wouldn't stop even if you begged him to.

Overwhelming seemed too insignificant of a word to describe what you felt like when you came, nerve endings all over your body sparking, instead of just the ones he was stimulating.

His thumb rubbing circles and his fingers thrusting in and out of you didn't falter until your shaking body had stilled and your strings of moans had diminished, slowly coming to a stop and leaving your body — seemingly — as fast as they had entered.

The content smile on your face was interrupted with Spencer's hand lifting to your lips, and instinctively you parted them, already knowing exactly what he was after.

His middle and ring fingers entered your mouth, and your face scrunched up despite yourself as you tasted yourself on them. He laughed at that — of course he did — and pulled them out soon after.

"You do that every time," he murmured, hair tickling your skin as he placed open mouthed kisses over your shoulder, up towards your neck.

"It tastes weird," you argued, and his teeth nipping your skin told you he disagreed. Though, he wasn't in the mood to argue, for he didn't say anything else on the matter.

"Still got it in you for one more?" he asked you, pulling his head back so he could see you once again.

"Yes."

"Good."

Your eyes watched him even as he rolled back to take his pants off, and the awkward smile he gave you provided the inkling of comfort that there was still the man from three months prior in there.

"I really missed you, you know?" This time it was you saying it, piercing the air as his hand came down between your thighs to part them. The head of his cock nudged against you, brushing delicately through your folds and eliciting a quiet whimper from your lips.

"I know," he answered, pressing kisses on your shoulder once more. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Yeah. I'm fine," you confirmed with a nod, confusion crossing your features all up until you learned why he was asking.

A broken moan, choked and caught in your throat, left you when he painstakingly slowly pushed inside of you. There's not a lot going on inside your mind when he stops, your entire body aflame and equally desperate for more, as you were for him to take a moment here.

"I love you," he breathed out, the words hurried and encouraging your heart to speed up, and your mind to melt even more.

"I love you too," you said back, voice just as quiet, gently nudging hips ushering for him to move.

"Impatient girl," he muttered, but you smiled nonetheless because he did (move).

His thrusts were slow, and gentle, but you never truly minded how much time he took with you once you two were here. Even more so now, for you were on the same page as him, and you wanted to savour every single moment of this down to the second.

A whimper left your lips, followed closely by the desperate whisper of his name, and lips that were still resting against your shoulder smiled.

"I thought about this a lot," he said to you, his hand that was holding your thighs slightly open sliding up to find your clit. "I definitely shouldn't have."

"Why?" You knew why, but the thought of hearing him answer it aloud excited you a little.

Unfortunately, he knew you better than that. "Don't play coy. You know why, honey."

"You're cruel," you huffed, and he laughed, rolling his hips to meet yours, earning another moan. "Maybe I don't."

"Use that wonderful imagination of yours, then," he answered, rubbing your clit at the same time as he moved his hips once more, effortlessly rendering you unable to respond to him again.

A teenage boy probably could've lasted longer than the both of you, but you decided to blame it all on your already sensitive nerves from a prior orgasm, and the fact that Spencer Reid had not had you like this for over 2190 hours (not that he was counting).

Whimpers escaped your throat as he kept his hips thrusting into you at an achingly slow pace, while his fingers working on your clit did anything but. It was an aching juxtaposition that left you reeling for more, and Spencer was now the one shutting his eyes so he could hold onto some semblance of composure.

"Spencer," you pleaded, and it was a quiet moan from behind you that told you he was exactly where you were.

"I know, honey," he replied, the desperation in his voice jumpstarting your heart. "Need to come, yeah?"

"Mmhm," you nodded your head quickly, breathlessly moaning. "Please."

"You're going to. Don't worry. Don't need to beg, sweet girl."

Commingled moans and obscenely wet noises filled the air, and your hips stuttered as your stomach twisted into knots.

Chanting his name like a prayer, you meet him wherever your two souls go in that moment, and it's a shuddering feeling as you come at the same time as him. For the first time in forever.

His hand drops back to your thigh and he massages the muscles there gently, willing himself to stop before he crossed the line of overstimulation — not that you think you'd complain about that.

There was an emptiness when he pulled out, but then he was kissing you again to make up for it, and you were smiling against his lips as you kissed him back. This time, without the fever.

"How're you feeling?" he asked you, quietly.

"Happy," you answered, forcing your heavy eyelids open when he pulled back. "How are you feeling?"

"Also happy," he agreed, and your heart soared.

"Good."

"You need to go pee," he said, placing another kiss on your cheek, before he leaned his body away entirely.

"Help?"

Arguably, you could do it yourself. Your limbs were tired, yes, and your mind was melting, but you were coherent enough to brave it alone.

Thankfully, you didn't have to.

He carried you to the bathroom, running the bath water after you had silently begged him for it with your eyes (looking between him and the empty bath with wide eyes and a jutted lip worked wonders), and leaving you to pee.

"Are you getting in with me?" you asked him as wobbly legs akin to a fawn carried you over to the now full and steaming bathtub.

"Do you want me to?"

Hesitantly, you nodded your head, fidgeting with your fingers in front of you. "But you'd have to take your shirt off. So you don't have to."

He studied your face for a moment longer, before he nodded, and fingers expertly worked at unbuttoning down the shirt.

"I'm okay now. That's the important thing you have to remember, okay?" his words provided little comfort, but you nodded your head regardless.

You had a suspicion already of what sight you were going to be met with, but it didn't stop the guilt settling into your chest when the shirt fell to the floor anyways.

"Spence," you murmured, taking a hesitant step forwards, heart falling to your stomach.

Bruises littered the skin, some fresh and still purple, others nearly healed and yellowing. But there were so many, and it was then that you were swallowing the rest of him in with your eyes, catching the bandage on his thigh.

"What is that?" you nodded towards the covered wound, and when your eyes returned to his face again, he was staring at you with an unreadable expression.

"A lot happened," he answered, quietly, before repeating, "I'm okay now."

You nodded your head, tears stinging your vision for nothing more than your ridiculous amount of empathy. "Can you tell me about it?"

"I will," he promised. "Eventually. Just not now, okay? I haven't processed it all yet."

"Okay," you replied, and his heart shattered at the sight of a tear slipping down your face.

"Hey," he took ahold of your hand and tugged you closer to him, fingers running through your hair and resting at the base of your scalp. "I promise, honey. I'm not going to disintegrate from a few bruises."

"It isn't just a few," you answered, voice wavering. "There's so many."

"You have a heart too big for your chest," he decided to say instead, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours. "Most of them don't even hurt now. Please believe me when I say I'm okay."

"I'm trying," your voice is thick with a sob caught in your throat. "I think I'm just really tired."

"Yeah," he crooned, agreeing. "Your body's released a lot of prolactin, which encourages sleep. Alongside the endorphins and dopamine that you're crashing from upon seeing this."

Wordlessly, you nodded your head, and he kissed the tip of your nose in an attempt to comfort.

"Bath, then we can sleep, and we can talk more in the morning," he listed off, and you merely nodded your head once more, sniffling and wiping your eyes.

"Okay."

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

#lia’s fics ♡#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer x reader #spencer x self insert #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid hurt/comfort

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sweeterlovers · 18 days

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FOR YOU / CHARLES LECLERC + LOGAN SARGEANT

logan sagreant x leclerc ex & youtuber reader / SMAU FIC

FACE CLAIM / addy kate

WARNINGS / cheating and logan is still on the grid with williams

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f1wagupdates Charles Leclerc and his girlfriend Y/N L/N have broken up. They announced through instagram!

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user6 i wonder why they broke up???

user11 THEY WERE SO CUTE WTF

user00 he lost a 10/10

user8 did you guys notice how they didn’t say it was a mutual decision??

user7 i think charles cheated (again)

user33 once a cheater always a cheater

user0 she probably deserved it

user44 BFFR

user66 💔 💔 💔

user9 give it a day and we’ll find out what really happened

user6 what do you know?????

user9 the truth always come out

user24 they were so cute

TWITTER

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yourusername in my reputation era 🖤

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user2 mother is mothering

user99 modern princess diana

user0 gorgeous

yourbsf his loss

yourusername ❤️❤️

user77 the fact that he’s still liking her posts

user1 ✨ O B S E S S E D ✨

user3 the dress is adorable 🎀🎀

user262 going to miss seeing her in the paddock

user3 logan and y/n were my favorite americans on the grid

user986 she should get with logan 😭😭

user22 ughhhh she’s too pretty

user4 reputation taylor’s version????

user555 it’s a need

yourusername i would die if she announced it

user6 we love a swiftie

user3 i hate how charles never took her to the eras tour……

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yourusername sometimes you just need to have a night out with your girls ❤️🖤

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yourbsf I LOVE YOU

yourusername love u too

user2 gorgeous girls

yourfriend 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

yourfriend prettiest

yourusername literally you

MESSAGES

logansargeant

hey! i was wondering if i could perhaps take you out on a date when i land in florida?

yourusername

when do you land?

logansargeant

tomorrow morning! i can pick you up from your house?

yourusername

i would love to!

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yourusername cute dress & good food ❤️🖤🤍

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user5 ugh she looks AMAZING

user88 she’s glowing!!!!!

user1 it’s the post breakup glow!

yourbsf ANSWER THE GROUPCHAT

yourfriend WE NEED DETAILS!!!’

yourusername OMG YOU TEXTED ME LIKE 100 TIMES

yourbsf AND????? we need details 🤞🤞

yourfriend WE ARE DRIVING TO YOUR HOUSE RN

user51 this is so real

user7 gotta debrief

user6 she looks so good in red!

user00 i wonder why logan is always liking her posts

user23 is he the boy?????

user63 that would be crazy

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yourusername post swim 🌊🌊🪸🪸

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user1 gorgeous girl

user77 she’s so hot i can’t

logansargeant 🌴🌴

yourusername ???

user2 how does one look so good after swimming????

user666 FOR REAL!!!!! she looks like she came out of a modeling shoot while i look like a seal

user9 😍😍😍

yourbsf PRETTIEST GIRL

yourusername I LOVE UU

yourbsf ⏳⏳⏳

user4 if i was charles i would be at her door with flowers and a boom box

user8 he lost a BADDIE

user4 but logan gained one 💪💪

yourfriend literal model 🙏🙏🙏🙏

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️❤️

user342 showing this to my plastic surgeon

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logansargeant i’m making this post while your sleeping on my lap (post swim) i can’t help but feel so much love for you. you are the embodiment of sunshine. you light up the room. these past few months with you have been the highlight of my life. having someone like you beside me has truly lit up my world. who knew that someone’s lost and mistake would change my life forever. i hope that in 10 years you will still be by my side, on our porch, in our house in florida. i love you y/n, thank you for taking a chance on me 🫶🫶

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user4 THIS IS SO ROM COM CODED

user33 charles could never

yourbsf logan i was skeptical at first, knowing how broken y/n was but you have seriously made y/n so so happy. this is the happiest a boy has ever made her. those couple of months with you has truly changed her. i could care less about the backlash my comment might cause but thank you for treating my best friend the way charles couldn’t.

logansargeant your approval genuinely means so much

user3 the greenest flag

yourusername i’m crying right now, i love you logan i truly do. thank you for showing me what a boyfriend should be like. i can’t wait to have a future with you. (i need to make a post to one up you)

logansargeant i love you too, don’t worry you can post anything and i’ll give you it all ❤️i’ll let you beat me in anything

yourusername AWWW YOU REALLY LOVE ME

logansargeant i really do

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yourusername thank you for teaching me what love truly feels like

comments are limited on this post

logansargeant i love you so so much

yourusername i love you too

yourfriend 🤍🤍🤍

yourbsf “he’s a good man savannah”

yourusername LMAO

yourusername on a real note he really is a good man

TEAM RADIO / SWEETERLOVERS - i had this idea in my notes app for a while and i actually did it!!!

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strvberrydoll · 1 month

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Rosemary

Summary: who would have thought that a small piece of paper could be the very thing that would crush your dreams with Arthur ? part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

AO3 link (better rewritten version of this fic on ao3)

pairing: Arthur Morgan x f!reader

content: suggestive, angst, hurt/no comfort (for now) probs grammar errors srryy

wc: 2k

a/n: hear me out, I thought about writing a jealous!reader oneshot with Arthur but,, I got a bit carried away and so many ideas came into my mind so I was thinking about making this a mini series with a pt.2. Let me know if you’d be interested in a pt.2 <33 (gif from pinterest)

Nothing was more relaxing to you than fixing some of Arthur’s shirts and pants while sitting outside your shared tent.

Seated on a small cushion placed on the ground with your back against one of Arthur’s chests your hands worked delicate but precise movements mending the cotton of his favorite black shirt. The rays of light sparkling from the east coast of the flat iron lake at Clemens Point casting a golden halo around you and the usual buzzing of camp making you feel at ease, letting you loose yourself in your thoughts.

During these moments your mind often drifted to thoughts about you and Arthur, the way he would make you feel all warm inside like a young naive teenager with just his soft glances and loving touches, how he would make you dream some of the craziest things for a couple of outlaws like yourselves like having a proper family with him, getting proper married before god and maybe even owning your very own ranch at some point.

Your dreamy stream of thoughts was soon interrupted as Mary Beth’s light footsteps on the dry grass could be heard coming towards your direction, with a strange expression you couldn’t quite decipher on her face and a small letter in her hands. As she saw you sitting down near yours and Arthur’s tent her fair features twisted into an anxious manner, her expression resembling the one of someone who just ate a whole lemon in one go, her steps faltering almost imperceptibly before continuing her path towards your shared tent.

“Hiya Miss,” she said in a chirpy tone, her voice higher than usual as she stopped in front of you, her eyes looking around avoiding your confused gaze as she played with the paper edge of the letter in her delicate hands.

“Arthur hasn’t come back yet ?” Strange. Her voice cracked a little at the end. She quickly cleared her throat with a small smile. Mary Beth's usual cordial and friendly façade cracked the more she was near you, letting you see her unusual unease.

“‘M afraid not, he said he was going into town for some ‘deputy thing’ with the Grays, why ? Did something happen ?” you replied imitating Arthur’s low voice and accent as you put down his shirt which was now fixed and your sewing kit. At your failed attempt at imitating his accent Mary Beth let out a small laugh, covering her smile with her free hand, relaxing just a tiny bit before regaining her previous composure.

Smoothing out the white envelope in her hands she handed it over to you, as you took it you couldn’t help but notice the sender’s name written in what you called a ‘fancy cursive’. You weren’t exactly good at reading or writing but the fancy ink swirls made out a familiar name.

The sender was Mary Linton.

“It’s for Arthur, it arrived this morning,” she told you looking at you with something in her eyes you couldn’t quite make out. Was it a shared distaste for the woman in question or was it perhaps pity toward you what you could see reflected in her eyes ?

You weren’t a stranger to who Mary Linton was, having joined the gang when you were eighteen and Arthur fresh of twenty-six you knew who Mary was, how she was Arthur’s first love, the woman he almost married if it wasn’t for her strict father not approving his lifestyle. The woman who completely shattered his heart.

You knew that after his breakup with Mary he was distraught, drinking and sleeping around almost every night before eventually getting one of the girls he slept with pregnant with his son Isaac. How he, from time to time, went to Eliza’s cabin and visited them, never failing to bring sweets and shiny toys for his Isaac who met him with a toothy little smile every time Arthur visited them until one day the only thing Arthur was met was an empty robbed cabin and Eliza’s lifeless body hugging Isaac’s one.

For almost a year you helplessly witnessed Arthur, the gang’s main enforcer, spiraling more and more into a toxic lifestyle. He began to drink more, often found sitting near the campfire drunk every night, his actions during jobs sloppy and reckless not sparing a single ounce of mercy for whoever dared to wrong him. His mood around camp bringing everyone down until one day you decided you had enough.

He had just come back from a job went wrong with Hosea, the older man's sour mood perceptible from miles away as he hitched his horse and quickly walked away to his tent, leaving Arthur behind talking pretty much to himself how it wasn’t his fault and he didn’t do anything wrong, the pungent scent of alcohol surrounding the space around him. Seeing the scene in front of you you quickly put down your cleaning rag and marched towards him giving him a loud earful in front of everyone in camp not caring that he was a 6’1 massive killing machine of an outlaw and eight years older than you and that you were the last addition to camp making you a nobody in the eyes of what was basically Dutch’s golden child. You simply had enough.

From that moment onwards Arthur started to get better, letting go of his usual whisky bottle and surprisingly starting to pay attention to you rather than avoiding or despising you, eyeing you with respect each time you expressed your opinion around camp, coming to your tent almost every night for advice or just to talk about life opening up to you about his family and past love building day by day an unexpected friendship which blossomed years later into your current relationship.

Seeing her name now again after so many years left you with a sour taste in your mouth.

You took the letter and placed it on Arthur’s nightstand as you thanked Mary Beth and began to tidy up your things.

The sky was beginning to lose its rosy color making space for a deep blue when Arthur came back, the gallop of his and Dutch horses announcing their arrival into camp.

You were chatting with Karen and Javier at the round table near the fire when you felt his hand on your shoulder, the scent of wood and gunpowder filling your nose letting you relax under his soft touch. He bent down to quickly kiss your cheek, a small show of pda which left you all warm inside, almost letting you forget about the letter. Almost.

“Hello sweetheart,” he said in his usual low tone near your ear, a shiver traveling down your spine at his vicinity a soft blush making its way into your cheeks.

“Miss Jones, Javier” he greeted your company before taking your hand in his calloused one letting you up from your seat and guiding you towards his tent leaving Karen and Javier sharing knowing glances between them.

As soon as you walked into your shared tent he made quick work of closing the flap before taking your face in his hands and kissing you. His soft kisses soon turned into hungry ones as his right hand left your soft cheek to trace down your neck then your collarbones before settling on your hips using your hips to guide you to lay on the bed.

“missed ya a lot today sweetheart,” he breathed on your neck as he positioned himself on top of you before kissing your sensitive spot, your eyes closed as your soft hands traveled onto his hair, tugging at his dirty blonde strands.

“got you in my mind the whole day, damn near made Dutch real name slip in front of them Grays. Jus’ couldn’t help but think ‘bout your pretty face.” he continued to kiss your sensitive skin, his words and his lips working like magic on you. His hands exploring your body inch by inch toying with the buttons of your white shirt.

As you open your eyes to look at Arthur you couldn’t help but remember the envelope sitting on his bedside table.

“Arthur,” you sighed trying to keep your voice stable but failing miserably as his teeth playfully bit your neck. The pleasure and the warmth of his body on top of yours was heavenly making you melt like butter under his touch but you were too curious to see what was in that letter to continue, your hands came on his shoulders to try and get the man off of you. “darling you, fuck, you’ve got a letter.”

As soon as you finished your sentence Arthur stopped his actions at once, his hands dropping on the soft mattress before getting up into a seated position beside you. He sighed as he ran his hands into his hair before taking the letter, his eyes quickly scanning the sender’s name before opening the envelope.

As his eyes read the elegant handwritten letter of Mary you couldn’t help but feel your heart beat out of your chest with anticipation, you knew it was stupid to feel this way but you couldn’t help but worry. Why is she mailing him after all these years of radio silence ? What did she want from him and how exactly did she know how to contact him ?

Deciding it was best to feign ignorance than to straight up get defensive and be viewed as possessive with Arthur you scooted closer to him, your head resting on his shoulder as you asked, trying your best to keep your façade, from who was the letter.

“Mh, nobody jus’ a sorry fellow I met.”

Your heart sank.

He lied to you. He lied to you without even an ounce of hesitation. A small ‘Oh’ left your lips as you didn’t know exactly how to respond, mind racing with many thoughts, the knowledge of his lie felt like an iced bucket of water was thrown at you, freezing you in your spot unable to move. A sense of nausea overtaking your body.

With a swift movement, he folded the letter and put it in the bottom drawer of the nightstand where other papers filled the small space. Turning back to face you he put one of his large hands on your cheeks caressing you with a delicacy that in that moment only made you further nauseous about the situation. His lips met your forehead, then your nose descending further down to your lips, too caught up in your thoughts you sat there unmoving. Arthur sensed your unusual attitude.

“y’alright sweetheart ?” he asked, you internally scoffed at his seemingly concerned expression. The nerve he had to be asking you that after he blatantly lied to your face.

“yeah just tired that’s all.” you dismissed him shifting on the bed and laying down on your side of the bed. You needed space to think, your mind going haywire. Was this the first time she mailed him ? Why was that as soon as you mentioned a letter he seemed to already know it was from her ? Why did Mary Beth act so strange when giving you the letter ? Why did he lie ? Why.

You wished you could let this go, forget about everything and melt back into his warm embrace, but you couldn’t. You had to find out what was going on.

Later that night when the outlaw was fast asleep beside you and the only sounds that could be heard were his soft snores that filled the space in your tent you found out that the other papers in the drawer were not random papers.

The drawer was full of Mary’s letters.

#.rira’s posting ౨ৎ ⋆#arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan x you #arthur morgan fic #arthur morgan angst #rdr2 fanfic #arthur morgan #rdr2 arthur #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #red dead fandom

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flowerandblood · 2 months

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The Lost Haven (10/16)

[ modern mafia • Aemond x niece • female ]

[ warnings: incest obviously, unprotected sex, smut, the angst, squirting, semi-public intimacy, description drug overdose, violence, uncomfortable conversations, bad, bad things ]

[ description: The vacation from eight years ago still haunts his memories and doesn't let him forget what happened between him and his niece, the daughter of his sister and Harwin Strong. Their paths separate and he immerses himself in his father's mafia world until the day she calls him for the first time since those events. Sexual tension, dark, dangerous, withdrawn, thirsty Aemond. ]

Author’s note: As promised, this is another, this time official modern version of The Fall from the Heavens. In this version, Daemon is not related to the family, but is simply Rhaenyra's husband and the leader of the second gang, Alys and Larys are also not related to each other, but Larys is Harwin's brother. I will partly refer to the original series, hiding some easter eggs, and some will be a completely new, fresh plot. As in every universe, only Aemond calls her Rhaenys and this is not her real name (she is unnamed character and the others also do not know that he calls her that). There will be a lot more brutality and angst in this version, so watch out. You can read this as a standalone story.

Series & Characters Moodboard Aemond & Rhaenys Moodboard

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

Although she hadn't written him back since their rather tumultuous phone call, her uncle had tried to soothe her anger by sending her pictures and videos of Vhagar at various frames and times of the day.

Through this, in the morning she would see her owner pouring food into her bowl, ordering her to stay still, listening to her squeals of impatience, then she could see her proudly carrying a big stick between her sharp fangs, and in the evening she would listen to him recording close-up footage of her dark eyes and wet nose asking her if she had missed her, with Vhagar then licking his phone.

She knew it was wrong, but some part of her felt happy about it and waited impatiently for each new message from him, because even though she didn't write him back she knew what he meant to tell her in this way: he wanted her to understand that he thought of her every day, anytime, anywhere.

She waited impatiently for news that would doom him in her eyes definitively, words from Daemon that he had killed someone again, hurt someone again, any confirmation that he was unable to change, that there was no going back for him.

There was something touching in that realisation, in the thought that he wasn't lying when he said he cared.

They both risked keeping in touch and because of that she had to have two phone cards to avoid attracting Daemon's attention, but other than that her uncle didn't try to call her or approach her, respecting her personal space.

He, however, surprised her by calling her one afternoon while she was in class. She didn't know what to do for a moment and then left the room to the surprise of everyone gathered, apologising to her professor, saying it was an urgent matter, led away by Robb's anxious, watchful gaze.

He hadn't spoken to her since his confrontation with her uncle, and she felt bad about it, but preferred not to approach him.

She had made the mistake of telling him too much and now she had to pay for it.

She sighed heavily as she stepped out into the corridor and answered, putting her phone to her ear.

"Aemond, you can't call me. Is something wrong?" She asked simultaneously frustrated and horrified.

"I got in. I passed the exam." He said excitedly, loud and clear, like a small child boasting to his mother that he had got the best mark in the class.

She blinked and shook her head, smiling involuntarily, feeling relieved at the thought that perhaps there was still hope for him.

He was really trying.

"I'm proud of you. I really am." She confessed from the bottom of her heart, wanting him to feel appreciated, to know that this was the right path for him and that she would support him in it without looking at what he had done to her in the past.

"Let's meet to celebrate. Please." He muttered, and she felt discomfort in her stomach, her whole body tensed.

"No." She said immediately, feeling fear, thinking this was another trap, another excuse to weaken Daemon.

"Just for a moment. In a public place, in a restaurant, in a café. Wherever you want, wherever you feel safe." He insisted, a plea in his voice from which she felt a sting in her heart, longing to see him and needing to keep him at bay.

"I can't, Aemond. You know I can't. I will always support you, including about your studies, but after what has happened I can't trust you." She said in a trembling voice, wanting to be honest with him.

She felt he deserved it.

She heard him swallow hard and fell silent for a long moment, making her feel remorseful, her heart pounding like mad.

"– forgive me – I had no right to ask you to do this – it was a mistake resulting from my selfishness – thank you for everything –" He said in a tone from which she felt an unpleasant shudder of self-regret, because some part of her wanted to please him, to be with him, to be happy with him, to make love to him.

But that was not enough.

"– Aemond –" She muttered, but he hung up, leaving her with an unpleasant, uncomfortable void in her heart.

She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath, trying not to cry, thinking that she had done the right and sensible thing, that she had to look out for herself and not cross the line she had drawn for herself.

It was better for her and for him.

However, she couldn't stop the unpleasant feeling of disappointment and sadness when he didn't send her any photos or messages that day or any day after. She thought that he was punishing her in this way and that it was a painful form of manipulation on his part to which she could not react.

He wanted to break her, to force her to be with him again, to make her feel remorse and let him do what he wanted with her.

She was not going to make the same mistake.

She felt for the first time that something was wrong when her professor accosted her in the corridor.

"Your friend got the best score of all the participants in the exams, Miss Strong, but he has not yet submitted all the documents. He shouldn't delay, if he doesn't do it by Wednesday, someone else will take his place." He explained, and she swallowed hard and nodded.

"I'll pass it on to him." She muttered and as soon as she said goodbye to him, she texted him.

He, however, did not write her back either that day or the next, making her cry again through the night because of him.

Was he punishing her in this way?

Was he showing her that if she did not meet his expectations he would do nothing to change?

That her presence was supposed to be the payment for him going to University?

She thought it was terribly unfair of him and that she didn't want to know him only to send him another message in despair.

He, however, continued not to reply and she had lost hope that anything would change.

"You haven't been eating lately. What's going on?" Asked Daemon, driving with her to the supermarket to buy things for dinner.

He took her to various places under his watchful eye, trying to find her activities to keep her from sitting in her room and torturing herself with thoughts.

She swallowed hard and looked away, not wanting to talk about it or lie to his face. She heard her step-father sigh heavily at her lack of response, impatient, and he was already about to say something when suddenly his phone rang in the car.

He answered by clicking the hands-free mode, connecting directly to the car's control panel.

"Boss, there's a small problem at the Moon & Stars club. There has been an incident, someone has tried to rob the safe. We suspect it was Hightower's people, but they managed to run away. They didn't take anything."

She looked at her father, who sighed heavily, running his hand over his face.

"Do I have to do everything myself? I'll be right there." He hissed impatiently and turned off the road, heading in a completely different direction.

He didn't usually take her with him to do his business, but now apparently the matter was serious and they were too far from home to turn back.

As they went inside, Daemon pointed his finger at one of the guest lodges to her.

"Wait here for me and stay where you are. Ten minutes and I'm back. Is that clear? You can order yourself something to drink, just have them pour it by your side in a glass." He said and she nodded, having no intention of doing anything but sitting.

Old rock classics were playing all around her, posters of bands and various guitars everywhere, red and blue lights blinking all around her, tormenting her already tired eyes.

She hadn't slept well the past few nights.

"Rhaenys?" She heard someone's voice behind her and turned, surprised to see a woman in front of her, the same one she had met when Daemon had shown her what her uncle had done to Robert.

She looked at her with big eyes, confused and terrified, because no one but him had ever called her by that name.

"Alys. We've already met." She introduced herself, extending her hand to her, holding her drink in the other, and she shook it.

The woman grinned in a way she didn't like and sat down across from her, making her feel uncomfortable. She looked around, trying to spot Daemon in the crowd, tense.

"Don't be scared. I'm a friend of Aemond's and an old acquaintance of your step-father's." Alys said calmly, taking a sip of whisky from her glass.

She looked at her with her heart beating fast, playing with her fingers in a gesture of concern.

"– but –" She muttered, unsure if she wanted to know how she knew the name that only her uncle called her by.

How close friends they were.

It seemed to her that Alys saw the question written all over her face, because she grinned even wider.

"He revealed to me the name he calls you by accident. Let's just say it slipped out to him in a moment of elation because he forgot it wasn't you lying beneath him." She said softly, without a grimace of anger or frustration, as if she found it amusing.

She swallowed hard, feeling an unpleasant sting in her heart at the thought that she was having sex with him, that he was comfortable with another woman.

On the other hand, her words sounded in her ears making her grow hot.

It slipped out of him in a moment of elation because he forgot that it wasn't you lying beneath him.

Alys sighed, spreading herself out comfortably on the couch, seeing that her words had completely shocked her and she didn't know how to act.

"Don't worry. We were never in a romantic relationship. I find the fact that he is so deeply in love with someone quite charming. For a long time I didn't know who the mysterious Rhaenys was, as there was no girl in our society with that name. It wasn't until recently that I found out for what reason Aemond kept his feelings to himself. An uncle should care for his niece, but not that much, right?" She sneered, and she swallowed hard with a loud snort of air.

Was she trying to scare her?

To blackmail her?

"Why are you telling me this?" She asked horrified, making the woman raise her eyebrows high.

"I want to help. I suspect your father didn't tell you that Aemond had recently overdosed on sleep drugs." She said, and she froze, feeling herself go deaf for a moment, and everything around her stopped.

"What?"

"He's in hospital in intensive care. I found out about it from his grandfather's co-workers. Everyone is whispering about it being a suicide attempt, thinking it was because Otto decided to make Aegon his successor. But I think otherwise." She said calmly, tilting her glass, drinking its entire contents to the end in one gulp, and set it down on the table.

"When he came to talk to me last time, he talked about you. He wanted me to help him with the Larys Strong case. Fear not: we've had nothing more in common than business for over a year. Since your name slipped out of his mouth, he was no longer comfortable with this form of intimacy, which is quite understandable. I learned his sweet little secret, but honestly, looking at you, I don't blame him." She said lightly with a simultaneously heartfelt and disturbing smirk.

Their relation was deep, she thought with regret, even if they were not together.

Something in that thought saddened her, the image of their bodies entwined together.

Did he feel the same when he saw Robb?

Are you two together again?

Are you in love with him?

"It hurts you that he slept with me. That he didn't wait for you." She stated calmly, as if she had come to some obvious, ordinary conclusion. She twisted in her seat, feeling panic rising within her, her bright green eyes seeming to pierce her to the core.

"I don't know what you mean." She muttered, looking away, red with embarrassment.

"I know he hurt you. What he did to you. In a way, I admire how you endangered yourself for him having Daemon under your nose. It's tragic that you love him so much, but it's even more tragic that he reciprocates your feelings. It saddens me to see such a young, innocent girl fall down with him because of his greed." She said dryly, making her shake her head, clenching her eyes, feeling hot tears under her eyelids.

"Leave her alone, Alys. Don't mess with her head." Daemon said, grabbing her arm and lifted her upright. The black-haired woman looked at him, sighing heavily, the expression on her face not changing one bit.

"I was just offering her my condolences."

As soon as they got into the car, her step-father began his interrogation.

"What did that witch want from you? I like her, but she's a specific person and I'd rather you didn't talk to her alone." He scoffed, pulling out of the car park. She looked blankly out of the window, feeling horribly tired.

"That Aemond has overdosed and is in hospital."

Daemon rolled his eyes, impatient, and licked his lower lip.

"I didn't want to burden you even more. To make you think it's your fault. Your uncle is trying to make himself a victim."

"He killed Larys Strong for me." She muttered and heard Daemon take a deep breath, frustrated.

"Maybe he did, maybe he didn't."

"He did. Because of that rape pill. Against his grandfather's will."

"How do you know that? I forbade you to contact him. Do you want me to take your phone away from you so you'll finally wise up?"

"I don't want him to die."

Daemon fell silent and stopped at the side of the road, turning on the emergency lights. He tilted his head back, closing his eyes for a moment – they continued like that for a moment in a silence filled with tension, her fingers involuntarily tracing over the scars on her wrists.

Her reminder of what he had done to her.

"We can't help him if he doesn't want it himself. Do you understand?"

"He wants it."

"You're the only one who believes that."

"After they imprisoned me in their house, he stayed in one room with me all the time. He cried constantly, like he was a little baby. He is broken. He begged me for forgiveness."

"If he had really cared about you, he would never have done this to you."

"If your father had bequeathed in his will what was due to you to someone else, would you have left it that way?" She asked, glancing at him. Daemon shook his head, sighing heavily, shaking the dust off his trousers.

"If you cared about peace, you would have made a deal with them. My mother doesn't think justice has been done, but she remains silent for your sake. She will not stand up to you." She said coldly. Daemon looked at her with a gaze from which she froze.

"Careful now."

"Or what? You've always resented me for lying. But can you be told the truth without fear of the consequences? Do you only want to hear the kind of truth that is convenient for you?"

"Your grandfather bequeathed to your mother what he wanted in his will. Nobody forced him to do that. Do you think I'm going to give it back to them so they won't be sad? So that your poor one-eyed uncle doesn't cry? Wake up. Why do you think Viserys passed everything on to Rhaenyra? Hm? Is it because he's in love with me? Because he despised his sons? No. Because he knew that whatever he bequeathed to them, Otto would take it. He showed him that he never really trusted him and he was absolutely right."

They stared at each other in silence, the air around them so thick she felt she had trouble catching her breath. She turned her head away, feeling only fatigue, only regret.

"Take me home."

Daemon snorted and shook his head, taking off with a screech of tyres, furious.

Only money mattered, only influence, only power.

Everything else was just an obstacle to the goal.

When they got home Daemon held out his hand to her, startling her.

"Give me your phone."

She pressed her lips together, feeling her heart begin to pound like mad in rage.

"No."

She saw her step-father smack the inside of her cheek with the tip of his tongue, standing with his hand stretched out in front of him.

"I don't like repeating myself."

"No."

"Should I call your mother? Are you going to tell her that you talk to your uncle and what you do with him in your free time?" He sneered, making her feel a squeeze in her throat. "Come to your senses."

"Tell her what you want. I don't care." She said dryly and moved ahead, running upstairs to her room.

She locked herself in the bathroom and changed the card in her phone, looking in her contacts for Helaena's old number, the one she'd given her when they were still little girls, praying she'd answer.

"Hello?" She heard her soft voice on the other end and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hi. I'm sorry to bother you. I know Aemond is in hospital. He's passed his university exam, but the deadline for submitting his documents is today. They should be in his flat in the envelope he got from the University. Are you able to fill them out and bring them to the Archaeology Department tomorrow?" She asked in a whisper, afraid that someone outside would hear her conversation.

"Oh. Okay. Okay, I'll try." She muttered, and she breathed out heavily, feeling relieved.

"Thank you. How is he?" She asked quickly.

"He's still not awake, but his condition is stable. The worst is behind us. Our mum tried to call him but he didn't answer, so she drove there to see what had happened. Thank goodness she had spare keys to his flat."

The next day she set it as a point of honour to convince her professor and dean, appearing with Helaena, that the situation was exceptional and procedures could be bent in this situation.

"I didn't know my friend was in hospital. It happened suddenly and for this reason he could not bring the documents yesterday, which however his sister has with her today."

"We cannot accept them without his signature." Said the dean, making her feel an unpleasant discomfort in her stomach at the thought that her uncle would wake up only to find that his chance was gone.

"I ask for your understanding in this unique situation. He is unconscious at the moment and fighting for his life. As soon as he is able, he will come to sign the documents in person. The professor told me that he passed the exam with the best result. He's been through a lot and I don't want his work to be in vain." She said, and the man sighed heavily and nodded.

"Very well. But as soon as he is able, he is to appear here immediately and explain to me in person."

She sent him another message that same day, knowing from Helaena that he was finally awake and that nothing was threatening his life anymore.

He, however, did not write her back.

Was it because of her that he had done this to himself?

Was it because she had not met him?

She felt anger and remorse at the same time, but mostly she was relieved that he was still alive.

Lying alone in bed late at night, she thought she would go mad if she didn't find out why he had done it, so in a gesture of despair she decided to call him to find out how he felt.

She shuddered when she heard him pick up, but he was quiet, complete silence on the other end of the receiver.

"How are you feeling?" She asked softly, wondering if she was about to hear a litany from him about how much he had suffered because of her, that he didn't want to live because of her.

Would he try to manipulate her with remorse.

"Exactly as I deserve."

She swallowed hard, completely not expecting such an answer, not knowing what to make of his words.

Exactly as I deserve.

She lowered her gaze, playing with her duvet between her fingers, feeling her heart pounding like mad.

"Did you… really want to do this?" She muttered, dreading his answer, and he laughed, as if something in her question amused him for some reason.

"No. I wanted to see how you felt that day."

She froze, feeling her breath get stuck in her lungs, her eyebrows arching in pain at his words.

"Your suffering is not my desire, Aemond. You hurt me, but I don't want revenge. I just want… to stop feeling this unbearable pain in my heart that I have felt in my chest for eight years." She muttered, simultaneously wanting to see him again and forget him, to run away from him and let herself be locked in his arms once more.

"I regret it so much. I told my grandfather that I didn't want him to involve you, but he said that if we didn't, someone else would want to take advantage of Daemon's weakness for you. And I believed him. I thought that Larys will actually try to do something to you again, but only now do I understand that it was a simple lie that I easily accepted to justify myself. Fuck, I'm so ashamed, baby, I really am." He choked out with difficulty, whooping with tears, making her freeze completely, just listening to him.

"My father took everything from me. I did these fucked-up things to other people for nothing. I mutilated them for nothing. The only thing he left me is the property by the sea, the same one where I lost my eye, as if he had made a mockery of me. I was so lost. I still am."

She swallowed hard, staring dully ahead, feeling as one by one tears ran down her face.

Some part of her understood him, knew how hurt and disappointed he must have been, but another couldn't forgive him for somehow using her to get revenge on Daemon and her mother.

She felt like her head was going to burst.

"What do you want, Aemond? Truly. Be honest." She asked, impatient, and heard him swallow heavily.

"I want to study and see you once in a while. In a public place, so that you feel safe."

She pressed her lips together at his words, feeling the heat in her stomach and chest, for which she rebuked herself in spirit, trying to remain sober in her mind.

"And that's it? What about your family? About your business?"

"My grandfather limited my influence and responsibilities after I shot Larys without his knowledge. He no longer trusts me and doesn't assign me important tasks."

It was only then that she understood why he had actually overdosed.

He had lost his business.

He had lost his grandfather's respect.

He had lost her.

He was alone, exactly as he was then.

His face contorted in pain and despair, his red cheeks flooded with tears, his eyes closed and his hands clenched into fists then, as he stood up to his waist in the sea water, alone and terrified.

"The University Library." She said feeling that she had made up her mind.

"I don't understand."

"We can meet in the University Library."

"Really?" He asked excitedly, as if she had given him a wonderful surprise, and she swallowed hard, feeling a tightness in her throat.

"Only there and for a short time. Once in a while. If I find out you did something to hurt me or my family, you'll never see me again."

She didn't care about their business, their money, their eternal need to prove to themselves who was in charge of this town.

She just wanted her friend back.

The next day she turned up at the agreed place all tense, hiding her little pocket knife in her bra beforehand, afraid that he would trick her again.

That he would betray her again.

So many emotions were rattling through her head that her hands were shaking and although she tried to concentrate on reading her textbook, she couldn't. When she heard the sound of the door opening and raised her head from the book, she drew in a breath, seeing his silhouette emerge from behind the bookcases.

He stood still, as if petrified, his eyes and mouth opened wide.

"Hi." He muttered as if choking.

"Hi." She replied, looking at him watchfully, ready to run away.

She swallowed hard as he simply pulled off his leather jacket and sat down next to her on the big, soft cushions.

Afraid of how much her heart was pounding, how euphoric she felt at the sight of him, she decided to turn her thoughts away from that and get to the point, pulling from her backpack her notebooks that she had brought for him.

"I brought you my notes from first year. Read them, if you can't decipher something, I'll try to guess what I wrote. They'll come in handy for you before semester exams." She said indifferently, handing them to him one by one. He nodded and swallowed hard, taking them from her, clearly not knowing how to act.

"Thank you."

Having no idea what more she could say, she leaned back and sank into reading her textbook again, afraid to look at him, afraid of what she would see in his gaze.

She shuddered and took a breath as he lay down beside her and put his head on her shoulder, exactly as she had done when they had read books together as small children.

She pressed her lips into a thin line, feeling tears squeeze into her eyes at this tender memory.

He heard her uneven breath, his moist, soft lips brushed her neck as his hand touched her waist, locking her in a warm embrace that felt too good, too safe.

No.

"– please –" She muttered, but didn't have time to say anything else because he interrupted her.

"– I have a gift for you –" He said, surprising her completely, taking out a rose-shaped red lollipop from his pocket after a moment. "– I didn't know what kind of flowers you like, so I bought one like this – the sales lady said it has a strawberry flavour –"

She felt touched and at the same time pained at the thought of how sweet and thoughtful this gift was. She took it from him, turning it in her fingers, no longer able to remember the last time anyone had given her something without an occasion to just make her smile.

"I'll eat it later. I don't want to get the books dirty now. Thank you, that's very kind of you." She said softly, putting the lollipop aside, and he nodded, his face pressed against her cheek as his fingers ran slowly over her face.

For some reason she didn't understand when he leaned back, her body followed him, laying next to him on the soft material. She let his arm draw her closer, his hand combing through her hair as her fingers touched his chest.

He nuzzled her face into the hollow of his neck, and she closed her eyes, smelling the pleasant scent of his aftershave and his masculine perfume, making a wonderful warmth spill over her lower abdomen.

"Several of my father's men are dead. They were shot on your grandfather's orders." She whispered, not wanting to forget who he was or what he had done.

She heard him sigh quietly, his fingers trailing over her head and down her back, playing with the curls of her hair.

Why did she feel so surprisingly safe in his arms, why was she so relaxed, so calm, why did her chest fill with some strange, unnatural relief?

"I know."

"Did you have anything to do with it?"

"No. My grandfather restricted my field of action after we called the emergency services when you…" He didn't finish, and she swallowed hard, knowing what he meant.

She decided she had to ask him this question, even though she was so afraid of his answer.

"If your grandfather tells you to kill Daemon or my brother. What will you do then?"

To her surprise, he seemed to have expected her to ask him this, for he answered almost immediately, without hesitation or uncertainty in his voice.

"I will tell him to do it himself. The times when I was his dog are over and he knows it. He has no idea what to do with me. I'm out of his control."

Something in his words, in the confidence with which they left his throat made her feel hot in her heart. She lifted herself up on her arm, wanting to look at his face, knowing that even if his lips lied to her, she would see the truth in the look of his healthy eye.

"What's your plan?"

Her uncle hummed under his breath, his hand from her neck sliding down between her breasts, trailing along the buttons of her dress, making a hot shiver run down her spine.

He was doing this on purpose, she thought.

"I want to start acting on my own." He said cautiously and looked at her with a glint in his eye that she didn't like.

"What do you mean?" She muttered involuntarily.

"If you think there's a way I could escape this world, you're wrong. Even Daemon didn't escaped it, he simply gathered his most trusted people and expanded his influence. I want to do the same, and I will start by taking over Heavenly Beach. Since Larys is dead, chaos has reigned there, and I intend to take advantage of it. Many of my grandfather's people don't like the vision of them having to work for Aegon in the future. They neither respect nor fear him." He sneered, saying the words as if he was proud of himself.

She stared at him in disbelief, not expecting such a response from him, the fact that he would dare to think of cutting himself off from his grandfather, of breaking away from his leash.

His words surprised her so much that she didn't know what to say, what she felt, what she thought about what she had just heard.

She shuddered, snapped out of her reverie when his finger tapped her breast where her pocket knife was tucked under her bra, feeling the cold sweat on her back at the thought of him noticing it.

"– wise girl –" He hummed, using this as an excuse to tease her through the material of her dress, rubbing the spot under where he knew her nipple was.

She swallowed loudly, feeling a wave of pleasurable heat surge through her entire body, the place between her thighs pulsed painfully hard, embarrassingly wet and eager for him not to stop.

She thought she would not give him that satisfaction.

"What do you intend to do with my step-father?" She asked in a trembling voice, and he looked at her with a smirk, shamelessly closing his hand on her breast again and again, no longer even pretending that he meant anything other than to feel her.

"Nothing. I won't attack him first. For you. He has nothing to do with Heavenly Beach." He muttered, spreading himself more comfortably on the cushion, already focusing only on where his hand was and what it was doing to her. She shuddered as another wave of tickling pleasure and tension shook her loins, her fingers involuntarily clenching on his wrist.

"– stop – someone will see –" She mumbled, looking around, terrified that Robb or anyone else who knew her might see them.

"I want it back." He whispered. "I want what we had during that summer."

She swallowed heavily, looking up at him in shock, feeling her heart get stuck in her throat and stop beating for a second.

I want it back.

I want what we had during that summer.

His words, so childish, simple and ill-considered were too painfully honest for her, his gaze hot and thirsty, full of what he was speaking of.

"I…God, after all, you know it won't work. We can't. No one will accept it, no one will understand. We'll be miserable again." She whispered pleadingly, shaking her head, unable to even imagine what it would look like.

To him, however, it clearly didn't matter anymore, and that shocked her the most.

"If you don't want it, I'll understand it. What I desire is fucked up, like my whole person. But I want you to know that what happened between us… then, when my father died. It was real. I've never felt more alive and fulfilled than then, being deep inside you. You were so warm." He said, running his thumb over the soft skin of her cheek, making her turn all red at his words, her cunt all slick from her moisture clenched greedily around nothing.

"Aemond." She mumbled in embarrassment, involuntarily feeling him inside her again, the thrusts of his hips forcing him deep, deep into her delicate flesh.

"I don't care how wrong it is. I don't care about morality. I've done far less moral things to other people. Making love to my niece seems to me the smallest of my sins." He confessed, sinking his hand into her hair, looking at her in a way that made her want to cry.

Making love to my niece seems to me the smallest of my sins.

Making love.

"Someone might say it's disgusting and wrong, but I only care about what you want. I don't give a shit about others. What they will think of me, whether I live by their rules or not. What can they do to me? Mock me? Fear me? They are already do. It's not about me, it's about you. I don't want to ruin your life."

She burst out crying at his words, because although he had hurt her so much, some sick part of her had longed to hear it for eight years. She moaned quietly as his lips began to place quick, helpless kisses on her face, his wide hands enclosing her in his embrace, trying to comfort her.

But she knew there was no comfort for them.

There was no future for them.

"– please – please, I don't want you to cry because of me –"

"This is just too much. I wish I could be a child again. To go back to that sea. To fall asleep next to you in that room. I wish I could feel again the peace I felt then. Your presence next to me. But I can't have it." She mumbled, choking on her own tears, involuntarily seeking relief in his proximity, feeling grief at the thought that he could not be the strange man she was allowed to love.

"You have it. You have me. You always had."

She looked up at him and froze, breathing hard, looking straight into his eyes, one empty and dead, the other filled with the hot affection she so feared.

"Do you like me?" He asked, and she blinked, not understanding what he meant. She nodded, however, wanting him to know that no matter how hard she tried, she was incapable of hating him.

"Very much?" He continued and smiled as she nodded again, breathing loudly through her mouth, trying to calm the convulsions of her body.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

What?

The two of them, then, by the sea, walking side by side, the white shells in her hand, his soft, moist lips that evening on hers, his warm embrace as she lay snuggled into his body at night, in his room, in his bed.

"This time I'm aware of what I'm asking for. What I want. And although I should, I'm not ashamed of it. I have wasted eight years that I could have spent with you, no matter how much we would both have suffered during that time. I want to suffer with you by my side now." He whispered, tucking an unruly strand of her hair behind her ear in a gesture so tender that her voice stuck in her throat.

"I wish I could trust you, but I don't know if I can." She muttered with difficulty.

His eyebrows arched in pain at her words.

"I know. I'll wait as long as it takes." He whispered, his broad, warm hand running over her cheek.

I'll wait as long as it takes.

She was terrified by the fact that everything inside her screamed that she wanted him back.

She wanted him to be close.

She wanted him to touch her.

She wanted him to love her.

"You can only embrace me and hold my hand. No kisses on the lips and don't try to take me." She muttered, to her surprise instead of shame feeling relieved.

Against everything and everyone, morals and good manners, everything she valued in life.

They were together.

To her simultaneous annoyance and delight, her uncle took her words very loosely: he didn't kiss her lips and his hands didn't go near the area of her panties, but over the following weeks, when they met in secret in the library, his fingers travelled over every other part of her body.

She deliberately stopped wearing a bra, knowing that the thought that someone might have noticed her nipples under her T-shirt drove him to fury.

As she spread herself comfortably between his thighs with her textbook that they were reading together, satisfaction filled her body as she felt his hard manhood pushing greedily against her buttocks, his hand in some subconscious motion slipping under the material, enclosing itself on her soft, plump breast.

"– you are doing this on purpose –" He breathed out into her ear, rolling his hips back and forth, rubbing his throbbing length against the space between her buttocks, trailing his lips down her long neck, leaving wet, sticky marks on her bare skin. "– you let others look at what is mine – you punish me –"

She sighed, closing her eyes, tilting her head back so that she rested it on his shoulder, showing him grace – she clenched her thighs involuntarily, feeling a wonderful pulsing between them as his lips sank greedily into the hollow of her neck, her hand clamped down on his wrist, encouraging him not to stop.

"– let me look at them – take pity on me –" He exhaled, completely losing interest in reading, kneading the silken, smooth structure of her breast with his fingers as his other hand slid down to her bare thigh, stroking it affectionately.

"– we can't – someone will see us –" She muttered, her breath heavy and deep, her whole body hot and tense from the waves of tickling, overpowering pleasure, his hands, his scent, his closeness driving her mad.

It always ended the same way.

"– there are no cameras here – please – I haven't seen you all week – I've been good, haven't I? – hm? –" He gasped, and she swallowed hard at the thought of what he had done.

He, accompanied by Criston Cole and a handful of trusted men, had carried out attacks on all of the clubs owned by Larys Strong at once, taking over the entirety of his inheritance, depriving his grandfather of half of his trusted associates.

An expression of their displeasure at having nominated Aegon as his successor.

Daemon was shocked by this turn of events, having enemies on two fronts wondering, in fact, whether to respond to her uncle's offer to make a deal.

Aemond could have given Daemon the advantage over Otto that he so needed.

It was probably only the chaos and what was going on around him that made Daemon not ask her why she was going to the library in the middle of the summer, thinking apparently that she was trying to escape from what was going on around her that way.

It was partly true.

She knew that her boyfriend's conciliatory attitude was not because he had suddenly fallen in love with her step-father or brother, but because he wanted her, and she had the power to reward him for being faithful to her and for keeping his promises.

It was a dangerous game and they both knew it.

She sighed and turned in his embrace, sitting down on top of him, pulling her Tshirt over her head without much finesse. Her uncle froze for a moment, staring at the sight before him, his swollen erection beneath her pulsed hard again and again.

She decided to tease him a little and began to rock her hips back and forth, pressing down on what was beneath her, a muffled, low groan came from his throat.

"– fuck –" He mumbled, stroking her naked waist, watching her bare silhouette as if he were staring at something sacred that he held in reverence, for a moment afraid to touch her as he desired.

She rested her hands on his chest as he began to roll his hips, and after a moment he leaned in, sinking his face between her soft breasts.

"– ah –" She sighed, tilting her head back in pleasure, feeling her swollen pussy throb around nothing as his slick tongue ran over her sternum.

Her fingers combed through his short hair as his face moved slightly to the side, blindly searching for her nipple, around which his puffy lips clamped down after a moment, beginning to suck.

"– Aemond –" She mumbled, snuggling his head closer to her chest, involuntarily wanting to feel him harder, closer, deeper, the sweat of exertion and emotion trickling down her bare spine.

His face pressed against her breasts, his lips and tongue sucking and licking her nipples were the furthest form of their intimacy, something lewd and wonderful at the same time, a perpetual torment with no possibility of fulfilment.

"– fuck, let me – please – just this once –" He exhaled wearily, switching from one breast to the other, squeezing it between his fingers, directing her hard, sensitive nipple to his lips, which he clamped around it.

Shivers and waves of delightful tension shook her whole body making her mind all foggy, the space between her thighs all throbbing and moist, ready to welcome him deep inside her.

She rose suddenly from her knees, grabbing the material of her T-shirt, putting it over her head as if nothing had happened, feeling a drop of her own wetness run down her thighs.

"– baby –" He muttered, touching her bare leg, trying to stop her, desperate and thirsty.

"– next week Professor Addams is organising a private excavations two hours away from our town – it's a site in one of the medieval fortresses of our region, very important and he needs volunteers – I've offered to let you come and to count it as your student practices, so that you would have to make up less of them during the academic year – professor will rent rooms for all of us in a hotel nearby – if you come and do your best, I'll let you sleep with me –" She said lightly, looking at him over her shoulder, knowing how ambiguous her words sounded and that was exactly what she meant.

She saw him swallow hard, looking at her with wide eyes, his erection twiched hard in his trousers.

"– do you mean it? –" He mumbled in a trembling voice, as if the very thought made him faint.

"– yes, but it's two weeks – you'd then either have to give up your job, or drive to do your errands at night and come back in the morning –" She explained, taking her backpack in her hand, getting up from the ground.

He stood up with her, grabbing her aggressively around the waist, her body slamming against his.

"– promise me –" He whispered in a trembling voice into her ear, making her leaking pussy clench hard around nothing.

He groaned when, instead of words, her lips found his in a loud, deep kiss that took his breath away. His fingers clenched on her hair, not allowing her to move away, her tongue thrust deep between his teeth with his loud sigh of delight, colliding with his, which she licked invitingly.

She pushed him away and stepped back, trying to calm herself, in his healthy eye a heat and madness she had never seen before in her life.

He was on the verge of fucking her right here and now, ripping off her shorts and panties and slamming into her on the cold library floor.

She wouldn't stand up to him, and her moist cunt would gladly accept him deep inside her.

But he didn't know that.

"– I'll write you all the details later – take it seriously –" She mumbled, having increasing trouble pretending indifference and that she felt nothing for him.

He nodded his head like a small child and she gave him one comforting smile.

"– I love you –" He muttered in a trembling voice, and she felt a twinge in her stomach at his words, her heart filling with heat.

"– I love you too –" She finally confessed with shame, feeling her voice break. He pressed his lips together as if he wanted to cry, his eyebrows arched in pain.

"– I need you – please –"

"– be there –" She mumbled pleadingly and turned away, moving towards the exit, afraid that if she stayed with him a moment longer, she would finally give in to him.

Daemon was not happy with the idea of her leaving for so long.

"– the situation is still tense – someone of my people would have to be there with you –" He said.

"It's an archaeological excavations. I need a change of environment. I've been answering your every call for the last few months. I'm tired. I want to get away from what's going on and earn some money. Drive me there yourself if you're afraid I'm lying. You can call my professor, he will confirm that I have expressed my willingness to go with him again as his assistant. He's a good man. We'll sit in research all day and at night in a hotel."

"In what hotel? I need to know." He said impatiently.

"There is only one small hotel in this village on the main street." She explained, and her father sighed heavily.

"Please. This fortress is an important site. These excavations will count as practices, that way I won't have to do so many of them during the academic year. I haven't even swum in the lake this year, I just want to be alone for a while and do what I really enjoy."

Her stepfather sighed heavily and nodded.

"So be it. But I'll drive you away personally."

The next day she decided to text him to set things up.

Fuck.

She sighed heavily when he didn't write back then or the next day, clearly furious at the thought of having to look at her ex's face, but there was nothing she could do about it.

When Daemon drove her there he personally inspected her hotel room and furrowed his brow when he saw two single beds in it, not one.

"Who are you going to spend the night with?" He asked dryly.

"Certainly with some female friend." She shrugged her shoulders, placing her bags on the floor, feigning indifference.

She found with concern that lying to him was coming more and more easily to her.

He sighed and nodded.

"Report to me every day: text me or your mother in the morning and evening that you are fine. If you don't, I'll come here personally." He said warningly, and she smiled in his direction and nodded, for some reason happy.

She would spend a two weeks with him.

"Okay, Dad."

Daemon liked it when she called him that.

His gaze softened and he left her alone, throwing over his shoulder that she should watch over herself and not do anything stupid.

Too late, she thought with amusement.

She was joyful, and the sight of herself smiling in the mirror seemed unnatural to her.

She was certain that this happy little girl had died a few years ago.

She waited two hours to be sure her step-father is far away and went out into the corridor, looking for her professor. She wanted to inform him that she would be spending the night in a room with her boyfriend, while texting her uncle that Daemon had already left and he could enter the building in peace.

As she had found out from one of the students, their professor was overseeing the setting up of equipment and research tents near the site where they were to carry out the excavation, so that's where she went.

The sight of Robb among several other people she knew well did not fill her with optimism.

Her ex-boyfriend lowered his gaze as she approached their professor, who was just talking to one of the museum workers from the fortress they were about to research. Professor Addams smiled at the sight of her.

"Miss Strong! It is wonderful that you have made it. Will your friend also arrive as planned?" He asked lightly, and Robb looked at them surprised, tense.

"Yes, my boyfriend will be here soon. I also wanted to ask if he could spend the night in my room. We'll both be more comfortable that way." She said without stammering, making her ex-boyfriend turn pale and red all at the same time.

Their professor laughed and nodded.

"It's your room and you're adults after all. Just remember to focus on work, not dating." He said and she smiled involuntarily, casting a defiant glance at the boy she once thought would change her life.

"We will, Professor."

She turned as she heard someone's footsteps and beamed all over as she saw her uncle, clearly terrified and excited, throwing a menacing, displeased look at Robb.

"Speak of the devil. Today we'll just set up the equipment and figure out the details, work will start tomorrow. Everyone is to be here at eight in the morning right after breakfast. Get some shopping done at a nearby supermarket and get a good night's sleep." Their professor said.

She knew that surely the last thing awaiting her that night was sleep.

She was not mistaken – the moment they crossed the threshold of their room her uncle literally threw himself at her.

There was something animal and primal in the way he tore off her clothes, in his gaze black with desire, in his loud, heavy breath as he finally exposed her entire naked body, something he should never see, should never desire, should never have.

And yet.

For a moment he just stared at her, breathing loudly, as if he wanted to remember this moment, her, exposed beneath him – his hand ran slowly over her cheek, along her jawline and neck, sliding down between her breasts to her stomach.

It seemed obvious to her that the time for quiet, slow, tender lovemaking would come later, once the sun had set, once they were both just writhing in each other's embrace, unable to separate.

Now, however, they were hot with desire that burned their skin, and his lips, swollen with lust, after a moment clamped down on her hard, sensitive nipple, sucking on it as greedily as if there was no tomorrow to come.

She moaned loudly, too loudly when his fingers slid down her stomach, deep between her thighs, finding her hot, throbbing, leaking pussy at last, her hands pressing his face to her chest.

"– I hate that son of a bitch – I hate the way he looks at you – as if he's the one who wants to protect you – as if he's the one who knows what you need – bullshit –" He hissed furiously between the licks of his tongue, the tips of his fingers digging into the silky, moist skin of her swollen folds.

She whimpered, spreading her thighs wider, feeling the arousal fill her belly at the thought of how jealous he was of her.

Even when he was with another woman, he dreamt that she was the one lying beneath him.

She could not allow him to doubt the depth of her feelings, to doubt her intention or her fidelity.

"– I don't care about him, uncle – you can kiss me in his presence if that's what you want –" She cooed innocently, looking up at him with her lips parted in deep breaths, his dark gaze clouded and filled with something that sent a shiver through her.

He pulled away from her, as if her words had brought him to an edge from which there was no turning back, his nimble fingers quickly undoing the belt from his trousers and his zipper.

All she could do was, in a natural, simple reflex, spread her thighs even wider in front of him and entwine her legs on his back as he leaned down, sliding the material of his boxers lower, releasing his throbbing, fat erection.

Holding the base of his cock in his hand he guided the thick, pink head of it, leaking from his precum, onto her heat, teasing it, soaking his manhood in her wetness to use it as a lube.

"– may I? –" He asked in a trembling voice, leaning on his elbow right next to her head, and she nodded quickly, not knowing what else she could say.

"– ah –" She gasped along with him, running her fingers through the fabric of his t-shirt on his back as he sank into her with one, slow, sure thrust.

He slid into her with astonishing ease, and her slickness made him start to move inside her immediately, as if the warmth of her clenching walls had awakened some primal instinct in him, ordering him to just take what he wanted.

Nothing more than whimpers and grunts escaped their lips as their hips began to slam against each other with loud clicks of her wetness, his erection so fat and swollen that she barely fit it inside her, his forehead pressed against her.

His scent, his neck into which she snuggled her face as he thrust into her again and again with lewd slaps, his body lying on top of her, all of it was so familiar, so longed for.

"– Aemond –" She breathed out, tilting her head back, enclosing him in the helpless embrace of her body, feeling him with her whole self at last, connecting with him the way she had always wanted to, the bed beneath them creaking loudly.

"– fuck – fuck, baby – I missed you –" He mumbled with difficulty, quickening his pace, with each push rubbing the tip of his erection against the spot inside her from where she could see the stars.

"– I missed you too –" She confessed in shame, listening to the perverted sound of him opening her wide on his cock with wet clicks of her moisture.

He surprised her when he suddenly took her legs in his hands, forcing her to take a new position, putting her knees on his shoulders.

She moaned in shock as he began to move inside her anew with a loud slaps of their hips, feeling a flash of pleasure flow through her body again and again.

Her insides began to squeeze his manhood in delight, pulling high pitched, boyish moans of pleasure from his throat, his lips parted wide, his brow arched as if he was in pain.

"– you're so beautiful – I love you – I love you, I love you, I love you –" He exhaled, no longer sliding out of her, all sticky from her moisture, invading her insides with violent, sharp, quick stabs from which she threw her head back.

"– Aemond, God, yes, yes, yes, here, fuck me here, ah –" She mewled, writhing beneath him in ecstasy, feeling the tension in her lower abdomen and her throbbing pussy about to reach its peak.

He leaned over her, pressing her body against the bed with her own thighs in a position where her calves were at the level of her head.

She clenched her fingers against his back, moaning helplessly as she felt the pressure on her clit from which tears pooled under her eyelids, each successive thrust of his hips sending her body into a state of ecstasy which forced him to close her mouth with his.

"– shhh – shhh, baby, not so loud – mmm – I know – your uncle is close too –" He breathed out into her throat between loud, sticky kisses full of their slick tongues, hearing her squeal of pleasure.

Tears of relief ran down her cheeks red from exertion as her body was shaken by such a powerful orgasm that she just burst out crying.

She heard his loud moans and panting, felt how aggressively his cock pulsed inside her, filling her with his release, how their bodies convulsed as a wave of her moisture flowed out of her, so much that they both drew in air loudly, his face pressed against her hot cheek.

"– 'm sorry –" She muttered embarrassed, not fully understanding what had happened, the wet, large stain under her buttocks made her uncomfortable.

"– it's okay – it's okay, baby – it's okay –" He whispered tenderly, placing loud, sticky kisses on her face.

"– uh – what have you done to me? – we'll have to change the sheets now –" She sighed, combing her fingers through his short hair in an attempt to calm herself, the last waves of pleasant warmth and tickling flowed through her body, putting her in a state of perfect bliss.

She dropped her legs lower, returning to her original position, allowing him to lie between her thighs and she squirmed when he suddenly lifted her by the buttocks and stood up with her.

"– don't worry – we'll just sleep on the other bed – see? –" He hummed, heading with her towards the single bed on the other side, laying down on his back with a sigh of exertion.

She spread herself comfortably on top of him, placing her palm on his shoulder, letting his hands wander over her bare body.

"– can I stay inside you? – you're so warm –" He mumbled like a little boy, and she nodded, dreaming of nothing else.

"– yes –" She whispered, lying with her eyes closed, concentrating on the smell of his perfume and his sweat, his soft manhood still pulsing deep inside her.

She heard him let out a loud breath, something like delight and relief in his words.

"– this is the most beautiful day of my life –"

______

Author notes: You can thank my husband for the last scene, lol. He did things to me.

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bunnysbrainrot · 7 months

Text

Sinners - Teaser

Relationship: Sam Winchester x Reader

Content: Explicit sexual content, teasing, more kinks and details to come with the full version, nothing too warning-worthy right now?

Summary: Disguised as a priest and nun on a case, time alone with Sam back at your motel is everything but holy. The taboo of your situation has Sam dealing with some… impure thoughts. Will Sam be able to contain himself?

In the past few weeks you and the Winchesters uncovered some suspicious deaths in a remote area of Georgia. The locations of the tragedies spanned over 50 miles apart, meaning that the team had to split up to cover more ground. Dean had split from you and Sam two days ago, and the night before in the motel had been fairly normal. It seemed like Dean did this on purpose; you had drunkenly admitted to him of your affection for his younger brother.

Whether or not Sam knew of this, you had no clue. And now in your nun getup, it was all too fitting that you began to pray that Sam was unaware. The two of you calmly made your way past the yellow police tape, preparing warm smiles for a victim’s family.

Sam knocked on the door, letting out a bated breath. Weren’t nuns supposed to dress modestly? Your outfit was the proper attire, but the way it hugged your curves left too much to Sam’s imagination. It was his turn to pray that it didn’t stir too much in him, to let him keep his composure.

An older man answered the door, his expression easing at the sight of your attire. Turns out this costume was better received than you thought. You had to channel your tone and proper verbiage before speaking.

“Apologies for showing up unannounced, Mr. Peters. I’m Father Jeremy, and this is our sister from a local church.” Sam waved a hand for you to introduce yourself.

You chose to use your name, seeing that this was your first nun-appearance.

“We’re here on behalf of the church to offer support for your family, but we also have a couple of questions, if you don’t mind.”

Hopefully there were no questions about the nearest Catholic church, otherwise this whole façade would crumble. Mr. Peters’ face only softened further.

“I’m glad you’re here, Father, Sister,” he addressed you with a sad smile, “Please, come in.”

Sam stepped in first, using a beckoning finger behind him to have you follow him. The house was modest, but eloquently decorated. You recalled the murder that had happened, that brought you to this town, and shuddered. Mr. Peters’ daughter had been brutally murdered and discarded in a creek, signs indicating the presence of a vampire. Their daughter had been missing for two weeks before the time of death, which is what you and Sam aimed to discover.

“Mr. Peters, we are part of a youth outreach program at the church. Our aim is to help troubled youth, with restorative services and social connection. We were wondering if your daughter had any odd behaviors before she went missing. Perhaps she became more secluded?”

The man looked confused at first, “Odd behavior?”

Sam gave a small nod, “We notice that teenagers in need of help oftentimes become more distant with their families. Our goal is to provide better services to our youth, which does include finding the source issue.”

Mr. Peters have a small background of his daughter, admitting that she had become distant with the family. Not just that, but her anger had only worsened, amongst several harmful habits. It wasn’t uncommon for teens to become immersed in the occult and all things dark, but being surrounded by the wrong people can lead to harmful connections.

“I see,” Sam started, “and do you know what kind of people she was surrounding herself with?”

Another confused look from Mr. Peters.

You added, “This way, we’re able to identify warning signs - things to be wary of as our youth members meet new people.”

This seemed to clear things up, bringing out a detailed recount of his daughter’s recent social group. But, their social media had been recently deleted, preventing the family from getting their closure. As far as they knew, their daughter had made new friends, ran from home, and was found brutally murdered.

Sam’s eyes darted to you when you shifted in your seat, the fabric of your black dress sliding gracefully along your thighs. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but seeing you dressed up like this sent his mind spinning. The last thing he should be thinking of is taking you dressed like this, but he couldn’t shake it. His mind raced of scenarios the two of you could create, each one dirtier than the last.

But right now, the task at hand was covering the tightness of his pants. He leaned forward, the broad muscles of his arms flexing beneath his black shirt. Blush creeped onto your cheeks, much to the attention of Mr. Peters, who looked at you with concern.

“Sister, are you feeling alright?”

You nodded and gave a small wave, “Oh, I’m fine. Just a little warm is all. I apologize.”

Mr. Peters stood, “No need to apologize, let me get you some cold water. I’ll only be one moment.”

The room had gone oddly quiet paired with Sam’s intent stare at your face. You turned to find a concerned Sam inspecting you fully.

“You sure you’re okay?” He asked softly.

A slight nod, “Yeah, it’s just stuffy in this outfit.”

“Well, once we’re back at the motel we can get you out of it.”

A beat later Sam realized how that sounded. He tried to backtrack, but Mr. Peters had already returned with your glass of water, which you gratefully sipped on. It took everything in your power to resist the images that came to mind. Sam’s hands roaming your body, stripping that baggy dress off of your body, his mouth finding every nook and cranny of your neck.

Sam seemed to have taken over the conversation for the last few moments before standing. Mr. Peters had already given a short list of his daughter’s friends, and their usual hang-out spots. Your attention snapped back to reality; you placed the water glass down with a small thank you, being pulled up by Sam.

His hand could practically wrap the entirety of your arm, his grip stable and warm. Goosebumps rose on your arms, brushing against the tough fabric of your dress. The air outside carried the comfort of fall, the breeze being cool and refreshing on your hot cheeks.

At the car, Sam reached for your door to open it for you, something completely new to the both of you. You glanced up at him with wide eyes. The movements he made to reach the handle had pulled your bodies dangerously close, fully brush against his chest, pressed into the car. A inexplicable scenario that would raise a few eyebrows, for certain.

“Sorry, I just didn’t want you to trip on your dress,” breathed Sam.

Honestly, he was thankful for the little slip up - being this close to you had been a wish of his, but there had never been any excuse for it to happen. Your focus shifted from his soft, hazel eyes down to his parted lips. Sam’s attention shifted to your lips, lowering to your chest for a split second. A selfish move on his part, but the damage had already been done.

Your hand fumbled for the door handle, fingers sliding over his own. The two of you shared another longing glance before getting you into the car. Sam tucked in loose bits of your dress so the door wouldn’t snag on them.

“Alright, hands and feet it, watch out,” he whispered. You noticed how his hands fumbled more than usual, surely due to the nerves. Perhaps you had been reading this wrong, maybe you had taken things too far? Maybe you had overstepped and embarrassed him?

“Thank you,” you replied, giving him a genuine smile. Sam’s cheeks flushed, unmistakably a sign that maybe your anxieties been just that. Simple anxieties from overthinking this whole thing.

Now settled in the car, the two of you made the trip back to the motel. After stepping inside you beelined for the bathroom.

At least, until Sam’s voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Hey, could I talk to you about something?”

You turned to face him, eyebrows raised. You’d be lying to yourself if you said your heart didn’t skip a beat.

“What’s up?”

With the silence in the room, you took the cue to sit on the bed. Sam towered in comparison, his lean physique defined by the lamplight.

His voice softened, “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to get that close, I-“

“Sam, it’s okay,” you cut him off with a laugh, “don’t worry about it. I wasn’t bothered by it.”

He relaxed his shoulders. Sam began to dig through his bag for another set of clothes.

“You look good as a priest, by the way. You sell the bit nicely,” you stated.

What you said made his heart skip a beat. Was that a compliment, or just conversation? Sam couldn’t tell, so he turned to you once more with a goofy grin on his face.

“Thanks,” his expression darkened as his eyes raked you over, “You look good as a nun.”

There was no mistaking it - he was taking his time looking over you. Your breath hitched in your throat when he turned, leaned casually against the desk your bags laid on. You transfixed on the way his hands moved around his belt buckle. Mildly fiddling, but you couldn’t help but imagine him following through.

“Not my best outfit, but thank you,” you replied. Sam pushed away from the desk, slowly stepping toward the bed where you sat, tense with every step.

“I would agree there, you’ve worn better,” he commented.

You head snapped up to meet his eyes. A surprise note of flirtation filled your voice.

“Okay, so what’s my best outfit, then?”

He scoffed, “We playing twenty questions?”

You pointed to your outfits, smirking proudly at him, “Look at our getup, man, it’s like a confessional.”

A bright laugh came out of Sam; he tilted his head back as he thought.

“My answer isn’t exactly… appropriate.”

“Sam,” you laughed, “Confessional. You gotta tell me.”

He let out a groan before lowering his head, steadily giving you his answer, “Your dark jeans, and that long sleeve shirt. The, um… the one with the v-neck, you wore it almost every day over winter.”

“And that was inappropriate?”

“It’s why I like it that’s inappropriate.”

“Okay, then, why do you like it?”

The last thing you expected was for Sam to close the distance. He stepped until he was directly ahead, arms crossed over his chest as he locked eyes with you.

“It made your ass look nice.”

His tone was surprisingly serious, like he had been thinking of this answer for a while.

“Hugs your body in the right ways. And it makes your, well, chest… look nice.”

Sam humored your shocked expression but pushing things further. If you could dish it out, he could dish it back.

“What’s my best outfit?”

As you collected yourself, Sam stepped closer, bringing a hand to your cheek. He lifted your head, his thumb grazing over your cheek.

“It’s a confessional. You have to tell me,” he joked, earning a slight glare from you. That sour face melted away when Sam placed his hand beneath your chin. He tilted your head back to have you look at him.

Shit.

“Jeans,” you breathed, “V-neck black shirt.”

Sam leaned in, brushing his lips across your cheek. The closeness set your skin ablaze, each trailing lip and finger sending shivers up your spine.

“Is that all?” Sam whispered.

His eyes met yours once again, a startling seriousness lurking inside. You pushed past the shyness of your answer. The honesty could break the tension that had building all this time.

“Pajama pants… no shirt. When you just get out of the shower.”

Sam’s lips curled into a satisfied smile before planting a slow kiss to your cheek. He moved gradually to your jawline, sprinkling chaste kisses until his lips hovered over yours.

“Have you wanted this?” he asked.

Your frustration was intangible - a bottle that had been shaken too much, and ready to blow. He was centimeters, millimeters away from giving you what you’d truly wanted. The silence between you signified the utter defiance to give him this so easily.

“Confessional,” Sam’s voice reverberated against you, but he offered nothing to your pleading lips, “tell me, little nun, have you thought about this? Wanted my lips on yours?”

A small whine escaped you as Sam’s hand lowered to your throat, pressing softly to the tender flesh. The loss of blood flow muddled your thoughts into complete ecstasy, with no urgency to regain control. With just one move, it was clear to Sam that you were undoubtedly his.

You gave him a small nod. A low growl thundered in his chest before pressing into you further, laying you flat on the bed. Locks of chestnut hair framed your face, with a breathy Sam hovering his mouth over your neck.

“Nodding doesn’t count. You gotta use your words, sweetheart.”

Amidst the constriction on your throat you nodded and choked out a small, "Yes."

Sam's growing smile is all you need to know you've satisfied something deeper within him. Darkness floods his eyes seeing you like this, utterly at his will under his touch. If he'd known sooner that this would be the outcome, he'd have bought that nun outfit ages ago.

"That's better," he whispered.

------

Hi everyone! I know it's just a teaser for now, but I wanted to show you something I've been working on! I've also been pretty busy with work and writing for my book series, so things have been a bit busy for sure haha

I love you all, and I keep an eye out for the full version of Sinners!

#supernatural #spn fandom #supernatural smut #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester smut #bunny writes #spn smut #smut writing #smut

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igotanidea · 22 days

Text

Reveal: Damian Wayne x reader

part 6 of "Family rules" series.

Warning: dark themes, domestic violence.

***

One thing was sure.

She was avoiding him.

Taking it to such extreme that the second he was showing up at the other side of the corridor, ready to approach her and maybe have a talk, she was just spinning on her heel, moving exactly the opposite direction.

And Damian was starting to feel like a fool.

And if there was one thing that he didn’t like was being made a fool out of.

Under any other circumstances, he would just drop the whole thing, say some harsh, hurtful words and move on, being the same cold and seemingly emotionless person he used to, but –

There was no way she could hide the fact that her eyes were always searching for him.

In the class, when she thought he wasn’t looking.

At the recess, when she was reading a book in the corner, not really focusing on the lecture.

When they were leaving school after whole day of classes.

She was looking at him.

And though it may have been an illusion, there was something in those e/c orbs… Almost as if she was asking for help, perhaps?

This was suspicious and a little bit concerning.

And got even more concerning when he started noticing her showing up at school with bruises. Not just the I-fell-of-the-bike feigned ones, but tiny yet serious marks, that anyone who was not Robin, would probably miss.

And every day, there were new.

***

“Y/L/N” he sprang up in front of her completely out of nowhere, startling her and thus preventing her from escaping.

“Ah! Wayne!”

“What’s with the bruises?” Damian was not exactly known from his subtleness, cutting straight to the case.

“The what now?” she scoffed, playing off but instinctively fixing her hoodie so it would cover her better.

“The bruises. I saw some on your… um… midsection and –”

“Midsection?” Y/N repeated with a bit of shock in her voice and eyes “Wait.. How- How exactly did you notice them there? Shit, Wayne, have you been watching me?! Are you a creep now!?”

Damian could not help getting a little reddened at the accusation in her tone.

“No! I mean – come on, we have the same sports hall and we share PE classes! It’s really not too hard to notice when focused and –“

“You were focused on me!?”

This conversation was taking a turn Damian did not plan nor expect.

“Stop stalking me!”

“I am not stalking you! I just want to know what is going on!” he grabbed her forearm, causing her to hiss in pain. Clearly, she had another fresh injury there. “Apologies…”

“Save it, Wayne!” she yanked herself free. “Just leave me the hell alone! It would be better for everyone …” her voice faltered a little at the end and she gave him the same sad look that was chasing him everywhere for the past few weeks.

“Y/N…”

“I’m serious Damian…”

Neither of them realized that they switched into using each other’s names instead of last names.

“I just want to know where did that teasing smile I knew go…” he whispered, allowing himself a very rare moment of vulnerability, resorting to every measure to help him help her.

“Things have changed… There’s not much you can do about it…” she responded in the same hushed tone, keeping those (scared?) eyes on him. Only for a second though, before putting her defenses up again. “Just – just stay the hell away from me!”

And with that words, leaving him stunned and confused she ran away again.

Only that this time, Damian knew something was wrong.

And he was about to find out what.

***

“And she just called you a creep?!” Dick laughed quietly “Damn, I like her already.”

He and Damian, in their respective vigilantes versions were hidden on the tree outside Y/N’s house, observing carefully everything that was happening inside. And Damian hated every minute of the presence of his older brother. And partially feeling a hell lot of self-loathing due to the fact that Dick tricked him into joining the patrol. Using the moment of Damian’s distraction and a mix of emotions, skillfully dragging information about his state, manipulating the situation.

“Shut up, Nightwing you will blew our cover!”

“Who, me? Never. I’ve been doing this for way longer than you Robin, shall I remind you.”

“I’m gonna kick you off this tree, I swear—”

“I’m an acrobat, I will land perfectly.” Dick grinned, seriously getting on his brother’s nerves.

“Will you be quiet?” Damian hissed again “There she is!”

“You know there are so many other ways to tell a girl you like her—” Grayson teased again, but the joke died on his lips as soon as he watched the scene unfolding in front of his – or rather their- eyes.

“What the—“

“Oracle, do we have a sound from a wiretap?” the anger was clear in Damian’s voice, but for some reason he kept calm, addressing Babs to gather every information he needed before moving to action. And it would be admirable if Dick didn’t know that his brother holding back emotions would backfire on everyone. Especially the man, they were observing.

And that was actually bad.

***

“Well? Did you do what I asked of you?”

Y/N’s father was sitting in the living room, slowly sipping some drink, smirking almost vengefully when she came inside the house, with a futile hope she wouldn’t be noticed.

“No.” her tone was harsh and full of defiance, but as much as she tried to put on a brave face, her eyes and paleness were revealing everything.

“Such a shame, honey. I offered you a simple deal—”

“I am not making any deals with you!”

“Shall I remind you then what happens if you are a bad girl?”

“Oh you remind me very well, all right?!” she yelled taking a step forward “for your information the people at school are starting to ask about my bruises, so I hope you are fucking proud of yourself!”

Y/N barely made it to the end of the sentence when a hard slap on her face cut her off.

“You little ungrateful brat!”

“I hate you!”

“You were just supposed to use that little Wayne to get information of his father’s company!”

“I won’t do that!”

“There’s really no use of you, is there?” her father twisted her wrist painfully.

“STOP IT!”

“I’m gonna give you one last chance.” The grip on her wrist tightened and Y/N’s father’s hateful hiss hit her ears “Tomorrow, you are going to charm that little son of Wayne and get me the info of their newest development. Otherwise – “

“You’re my father!” she cried out in the last attempt to calm him

“And that’s exactly why you are obligated to do what I tell you. Now, go to you room and don’t you dare leave. And if I find out you told anyone about it-“

She rushed off before he finished, holding back tears, that only flew in the safety of her room.

***

“Damian?” Dick started to get a little worried about his brother’s almost catatonic stare. “Damian, are you--?”

“I’m gonna kill him.”

“I’m pretty sure that is what Jason –”

“I am going to kill him!”

“Whoa!” in the last second Dick grabbed Damian’s cape holding him back, skillfully avoiding all the punches and kicks Robin tried to give to free himself. “Come on, we gotta be smart about it!”

“I don’t care about smart! She’s hurt and –”

“And if we just bust there, that beast of a man would think she had something to do with it. Come on, Damian, think.”

“I want to rip his heart out for ever hurting her! And why –” his voice became depressed. “because of me… Because she refused to use me for information. Now I get why she was avoiding me …”

“Seems to me like you do care about that girl, aren’t you, Damian?”

“This is none of your business!”

“Yeah, it’s not. But an innocent girl being treated like this is definitely Nightwing’s one. Now, if you could just calm down a little and listen to me – I got a plan.”

I know it's a bit short, I;m getting back to the swing after my hiatus XD

@6000-fandoms @beyond-your-stars @mikyapixie

@heartz4miz @crookedmakerfury @mariam12344 @celestair

@faimmm @hornyslasher @urdarlingali @emmalove1111 @crookedmakerfury @herondale-lightworm @itzjustj-1000 @ginger24880 @anonymousmuffinbear @adharawitch @jasons-little-princess @sharkybabydoll @cupids-diner @whydoyoucare866 @ladychibirae @crookedmakerfury @amber-content @atadoddinnit @mouse-face1 @m3ntally-unstable @jinviktor @idonthaveanameforthisacc @no-lessthan3 @simp-simp-no-mi

#damian wayne x reader #robin x reader #damian wayne x you #damian wayne x y/n #robin x y/n #robin x you

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writersblockiskillingme · 7 months

Text

I Bet You Think About Me | Coriolanus Snow

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x fem!reader (District12!reader)

Summary: On the day of his wedding he had everything... except for the bride that he wanted.

Warning/s: angst, kind of like hurt/no comfort kind of thing, wedding, marriage without love, Coryo is drinking alcohol, reader is basically Lucy Gray in this situation, possible grammar and spelling mistakes

Author's note: I'M BACKK!! I missed writing so much, to be honest. All those Coryo and Lucy Gray edits to this song, plus the music video, inspired me to do this. Enjoy!

3 AM and I'm still awake, I'll bet you're just fine

Fast asleep in your city that's better than mine

And the girl in your bed has a fine pedigree

And I'll bet your friends tell you she's better than me, huh

Coriolanus Snow. The young president of Panem. He truly now felt like he had everything. He did an outstanding job as the Gamemaker. In fact, not long after, his work was praised so much that he could finally take that last step to get what he always, truly wanted. And he, in fact, did it. He was the newest president of Panem, and he knew that that was going to last for a very long time.

He had the title. He had the riches. He never had to starve ever again. He never had to wear poorly made clothes. He had the trust of the people in the Capitol, and he had the control of those in the Districts.

But as a president, everyone expected of him to choose his First Lady of Panem as quicklyaspossible, and he knew that it couldn't be just anybody.

So here he was today. Dressed up in a traditional but quite modern black tuxedo with a white undershirt and a purely white rose tucked into his suit on the right side of his chest. Standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom, preparing his wedding speech that he will have to say once he and Livia Cardew are standing on the aisle.

Livia Cardew. She was truly perfect for him. He didn't love her, of course, but that was also his own choice. That's what made her perfect for him.

Once he was forced to find himself a bride because every elite in the Capitol kept pushing, he realized that he truly had no choice. He had to keep up his reputation respectable. So, of course, he knew that his wife, the Future Lady of the Panem, couldn't be just anybody.

Livia Cardew was rich. Her family was too, of course. Their family was respected and considered quite important. Plus, she was pretty. He couldn't really deny that, really.

He chose power, money and reputation that Livia had instead of the love, kindness and compassion that came with you.

He chose it that day that he left you in the woods of District 12. He never knew what happened to you. Did you die? Did you manage to run away in the storm that somehow messed up his head. And perhaps High-as-a-kite-Bottom was telling him some sort of truth when he said that mysteries had a way of driving people mad. And perhaps, if he stayed with you, he would marry someone for love.

Coriolanus let out a groan, shaking his head in a poor attempt to shake those thoughts away. His love for you made him weak. Weak in a way that he never wanted to experience ever again.

Livia didn't have his heart like you did. He doesn't love her. Therefore, he shall never feel weak ever again. He wanted that. He wanted to never love Livia. It was easy, though. It was easy not falling in love with her. Easy compared to you.

But no! He simply refused to think about you on this day. The day of his wedding. He refused the thoughts of you to consume his mind once again. Coriolanus wouldn't let that happen.

So he turned back to the giant mirror that stood in front of him and started to go over his vows once again.

"My darling Livia. You are the most beautiful person I have every encountered." Coriolanus felt his breath shorten at his own lies. "And today, I am honored to be your husband."

It was so fake. It was so cheesy. It was so untrue.

He had to prepare the speech for his bride. For the bride that he never loved.

"Mr. President?" One of the servants came in and addressed him shortly. "It's time."

"I will be there shortly." Coriolanus replied coldly, and the servant closed the door behind him.

Once the door was closed shut once again, he let out a quite loud sigh. In just a few minutes Livia will become a Snow and he will have to proudly show off his little wife that tormented and made fun of him for years during his academy days.

With that thought, President Coriolanus Snow stepped forward towards the door. On the doorway, he lingered. He looked out of the window across his room. He looked out on the city of the Capitol and its glamor and riches and he once again came to a realization that Livia was a perfect fit for his lifestyle unlike you. But he won't ever think of you again.

With the thoughts of you that once again swarmed his head, he loudly closed the door behind himself. Slamming it shut.

Well, I tried to fit in with your upper-crust circles

Yeah, they let me sit in back when we were in love

Oh, they sit around talkin' 'bout the meaning of life

And the book that just saved 'em that I hadn't heard of

After the priest said everything that needed to be said and after Coriolanus, and Livia, did everything that needed to be done the young, freshly married couple walked towards the reception, quickly being surrounded by the Capitol's elite that eagerly introduced themselves like they were one of the most important people there.

Perhaps they were, not that Coriolanus cared even a slightest bit.

Livia was standing in the middle of the circle made by the numerous Capitol's elite while he was standing next to her, a glass of posca in his hand. He knew that drinking that liquid in his glass was not the smartest thing for him considering the fact that the alcoholic drink was perhaps a bit too strong.

Not like he considered it worth giving a damn. He needed something very strong to wash away the feeling of Livia Snow's lips on his once the priest said that he can now kiss his bride.

And now, as he took yet another sip from the tall glass, he still felt disgusted by her. Himself. The whole situation.

A few more minutes, that to Coriolanus felt like hours, passed by. The people's excited chatter. The joy of the new President and the Panem's First Lady was over-the-top evident on everyone's face, except for his.

Livia was bathing in attention that were given to her, smiling, quite pleased with the whole situation. Coriolanus felt like he was going to throw up as he watched the scene unfold in front of him as he, too, had to pretend to be happy with everything.

And perhaps it was to much of the posca that he drowned that night or perhaps it was all of the whiteness of the entire reception that made him think what he thought. Hear what he heard.

As he took another sip from the glass, he could have sworn that he heard that melodic voice that haunted both his dreams and his worst nightmares.

But now that we're done and it's over

I bet you couldn't believe

When you realized I'm harder to forget than I was to leave

And I bet you think about me

Coriolanus watched with wide eyes as you stood a few feet away from him, dressed in the blood-red dress that reached the floor barely as it hugged your frame perfectly. You, in your red dress, stood out so perfectly among the white clothes that every guest was required to wear. You stood out so much, he wondered how nobody but him noticed you.

You stood tall and proud by the enormously big wedding cake, which required the front door to be taken away so it could be placed where it was. Snow remembered watching the staff bringing in the cake, the door laying on the grass behind the servant as they carried the said cake. It was ridiculous.

You turned towards the cake, not noticing his ever so blue eyes trailing on you as you moved.

Coriolanus felt his breath shorten once again as he watched your everlasting beauty. He was suddenly very aware of the cool glass that contained posca in his hand and the cold sweat that was sliding down his spine. Was it panic? Was it anticipation? He didn't know.

He watched you as you stretched your hand out towards the top of the cake as you stood on the gigantic table where it was placed, your red heels clicking as you did so.

Suddenly, you knocked over two figures, one of himself and one of Livia dressed up for their wedding. He let out a quiet, barely audible, gasp as you did so and then slowly lowered yourself to the ground.

A little girl, dressed in white, a guest, appeared you as Coriolanus watched. You quickly froze, standing completely still. After a very short while, you slid your finger over the icing of the cake and put the finger in your mouth, tasting the cake.

The little girl smiled and did the same. You and the girl shared the smile before you struck your hand into the cake, ripping one piece out revealing the red color under the purely white cake before you shoved it into your mouth, eating it. The little girl ran off after getting the taste of the delicious cake as you chewed on your piece.

As you did so, Coriolanus and you established eye contact. You made a grimace that clearly indicated that you were disappointed that you had been caught.

Coriolanus Snow allowed himself to blink for a moment to compose himself, and once he re-opened, you were gone.

You grew up in a silver-spoon gated community

Glamorous, shiny, bright Beverly Hills

I was raised on a farm, no, it wasn't a mansion

Just livin' room dancin' and kitchen table bills

Coriolanus and Livia sat down at the front of the reception as the entertainer did his job. He entered the guests of the Capitol’s elite with the microphone in his hand, tight grip on it, which showed Coriolanus that he was nervous.

Coriolanus brushed it off because, all things considered, he was doing quite a good job. He even found himself laughing along to the jokes that were being made.

After one more joke, he turned to one of the Capitol’s elite to quietly, with a smile on his face, discuss the joke that was made. However, the moment he turned back around, his smile disappeared at the sight in front of him.

You were standing there, in a red suit, with a red microphone on your hands, making jokes.

"And then," you spoke in the fit of giggles. "He left me in the woods to die after he told me he loved me."

You laughed after it, and every single Capitol’s elite followed. Coriolanus felt like he wanted to die at that moment, the look of pure horror planted onto his face.

"And best of all was that he HIMSELF tried to kill me with a gun!" You smiled as you tapped a few times on the table near Livia as you pointed at him with a smile, and every single guest of the wedding reception broke into laughter once again.

This can't be real, can it? Coriolanus thought to himself as he watched you.

But you know what they say, you can't help who you fall for

And you and I fell like an early spring snow

But reality crept in, you said we're too different

You laughed at my dreams, rolled your eyes at my jokes

After that, you, out of nowhere, pulled out a little red box as you made your way towards Livia, who was looking at you with anticipation and excitement.

You handed her your gift as Coriolanus found it harder and harder to breathe.

Livia quickly, but gracefully, opened the box as she removed the ribbon on top.

And as she pulled out the shawl that belonged to Coriolanus' mother, he felt like he was going to scream at the top of his lungs.

It was the shawl that Coriolanus gifted to you back when the two of you took off into the woods. That was the only thing that he found once he started to chase you through the woods. He never found you, though.

Livia placed it around her as she thanked you for the gift. Everyone around you swooned at your sweet gesture as they clapped pleasingly.

You bowed your head down slowly after you drowned the glass of alcohol, falling into the crowd of guests. Disappearing once again.

Now you're out in the world, searchin' for your soul

Scared not to be hip, scared to get old

Chasin' make-believe status, last time you felt free

Was when none of that shit mattered 'cause you were with me

Coriolanus chased after you, trying to catch you. He was suddenly blinded by the light because of the photographer that was taking pictures.

After the photographer went away, Coriolanus rubbed his eyes as his vision, thankfully, turned back to normal. He looked ahead.

And there you were. In a while wedding dress. The back of the dress was trailing behind you. The dress was also graced by white roses all over it. Your hair was in a type of hairstyle that was holding it all up. Your eyes were watching his every move as you stood in front of him.

Coriolanus felt like he couldn't breathe, and so, for a moment, he felt himself longing to cherish every moment of this.

It was just like Coriolanus had imagined it. You as his bride, himself as your groom. It was everything that he truly needed. Everything he ever wanted. Just you and him. You two of you having your first dance as a freshly married couple.

Suddenly, all lights but one went away. The white light above you shined as Coriolanus tried to catch his breath.

He slowly stepped forward, and you immediately followed his lead. Soon, you were standing in front of each other. Chest to chest. So intimate. So perfect.

He slowly reached for your hand, placing it onto his as he soaked up the feeling of your soft skin against his.

He slid his other hand around your waist, bringing you closer to him as you placed your other hand on his shoulder. For a moment, everything stood still. For a moment, the only thing that Coriolanus could hear was his breathing and the beating of his heart.

Coriolanus and you leaned your foreheads against each other, noses brushing. Coriolanus closed his eyes. He never wanted this to end. Then you started to dance.

You were moving with such grace as he spinned you around. His hand in yours as you slided around the dance floor.

"Coryo," your soft voice that whispered in his ear broke the peaceful silence, and his eyes snapped to yours. His eyes. His ocean blue eyes that were always so cold now looked at you with so much gentleness and pure adoration.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, my love." Coriolanus answered without any hesitation.

"Does it make you feel sad that the love that you're looking for was the love that you had?"

Coriolanus was speechless. The look in your eyes caused the lump in his throat to be stuck there forevermore. He didn't say anything. He didn't protest to your claim. How could he? You were right. On the day of his wedding, he wished to marry you, not Livia. He never found in Livia what he did in you, and he, let's be honest, never will.

Suddenly, before he could stop you, you moved away from him, letting go of his hand and shoulder.

But now that we're done and it's over

I bet it's hard to believe

But it turned out I'm harder to forget than I was to leave

And, yeah, I bet you think about me

You lifted the front of your dress a little bit so you could walk without tripping over. You gazed over your shoulder at Coriolanus before you continued to walk away.

Once you were far away from him, you turned around, quickly causing your hair to fall down your shoulders as you leaned towards him.

All of a sudden, your dress turned red, and as you took a hold of your guitar that he knew all too well (hihi, get it?) the white roses on your dress were painted red.

The white curtain behind you fell, revealing the red light and the Covey as you played your guitar, softly swaying to the music you made.

"I hope you get what you deserve, Coriolanus Snow," you spoke softly, meeting his eyes once more. "But I don't need to worry. You will get what you deserve one day."

With a soft smile, you started to sing.

I bet you think about me when you're out

At your cool indie music concerts every week

I bet you think about me in your house

With your organic shoes and your million-dollar couch

I bet you think about me when you say

"Oh my God, she's insane, she wrote a song about me"

I bet you think about me 🌹

TAGLIST:

@hellonheels-x @especiallythewomenandthechildren @prettyinsatiable @10ava01 @regulusblackcore @writesleah @thecrowdedstreetin1944 @caroline-books @runningfrom2am

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pomegranate-pen · 1 year

Text

Why you shouldn't fall for blondes

Yandere! Aqua Hoshino x Reader

summary:

Perhaps, becoming the official composer for B-Komachi was a mistake.

Sure, the pay was great, and yes, you did get a good sum of followers and subscribers all because of your guest features on the official channel. But somehow, even if you were still much less popular than the girls in front, you’ve been starting to feel…watched.

---- alt title: in which reader, a composer for B-Komachi finds themself being stalked, and needing to take some security measures for safety. unfortunately for them, the situation worsens.

here's the ao3 version if you're more comfortable reading there!

warnings: the usual yandere stuff, such as stalking, kidnapping, manipulation, gaslighting and etc, though, no murder or extreme noncon happens ( though there's still noncon kissing), there are slight mentions of nsfw, but they are in the context of jokes! reader is gender-neutral and uses they/them pronouns.

words: ...30k...lord have mercy...

Perhaps, becoming the official composer for B-Komachi was a mistake.

It was first very subtle, and you only perceived it as perhaps getting a few more glances from strangers due to your face looking familiar. Someone they perhaps saw on their recommendation, or heard of by name or photo. But ever since your job offers outside of Strawberry Productions increased, and your contributions to different art communities have become more acknowledged, you’ve gotten more colleagues and friends around you, and with that, you’ve also felt more stalked than ever.

Still, you naively brushed it off. Or perhaps, you intentionally wanted to constantly ignore it. you've gotten so far, and you’re becoming more popular than you could’ve ever wished for. It was a dream come true, a dream any artist such as yourself would want to achieve. Why stop now just for this small feeling?

Yet, as time passed, and the feeling increased, you couldn’t help but start to feel paranoid. Even now, in the midst of your writings and scribbles in the office, as the B-Komachi team chatted, You heard Kana speak about being forced to take different routes home, because she too, was noticing the pair of eyes behind her back. it was even more concerning when Memcho agreed with her, speaking about how in recent weeks she’s seen articles about different idols finding stalkers around the comforts of their homes.

Shit. That is not good to hear. You take a deep breath, pencil now dropped to the table as you quickly grab your water bottle in stress.

Ruby, ever curious, was first to notice your strange behavior for the day. “You okay there Y/n?”

You turn around to face the group, though refreshed, the water does not help to quell your fears. You cleared your throat, a bit of exhaustion seeping into you. “I’m fine.” Was all you could huff.

“You don’t look fine.” Memcho gave you a concerned look.

Soon enough, Arima’s attention seemed to be caught as well, though her tone was more scolding rather than concerned, you knew her intentions were in the right place. “If you have something on your mind, it’s best to tell your coworkers rather than stay silent”. She raised a brow. “Is it about our vocals in the new song?”

Not wanting to see another feud of Arima’s self-deprecating humor and Ruby’s repeated determination to sing the notes perfectly, you quickly answered the question. “No No- it’s not that at all-“In a hurried moment, you felt the hairs on your skin stand still as you felt the same piercing gaze once more. You glance behind you in a fit of panic, yet you only find Miss Saitou and Aqua busy with their work, and that feeling of edge left as soon s it came, leaving you confused and a bit horrified. Saitou looked at you with concern.

“…are you truly fine, L/n?” she questioned, and you were left speechless as now everyone in the room was staring at you like you were going insane.

“I-..I uh…” Ah fuck. Perhaps, it wouldn’t hurt to tell them. After all, usually when one doesn’t tell others about such strange situations, they end up dead in an alleyway- or at least- that’s what all the crime movies have told you.” This might be me being overwhelmed by how popular B-Komachi is getting..but, ..I think I have a stalker.”

You didn’t really want to look at them, you were completely sure they were smiling and holding back cackles of laughter. Is a mere composer for the band getting stalked rather than the team itself? It’s more than just funny, it’s ridiculous.

Silence takes over the room, and for 15 solid seconds, you keep thinking perhaps they’re holding back their giggles. Yet nothing comes out, and you finally look up to them, only to see horrified faces. Surprisingly enough, Ruby’s expression was the most haunting of all. it’s as if she saw a murder happen right in front of her. Aqua was the first to cut through the silence, and though his expression looked solemn, he did seem quite conflicted. Yet..there’s something different about his expression. Something you couldn’t quite place. It’s as if he was masking something else. You truly weren't certain about what exactly he was masking. Perhaps it was the true horror he felt? After all, Aqua is an actor, he’s most likely using these skills to calm everyone down and not add more fuel to the fire. He’s always been caring in that sense. “Are you certain it’s a stalker, Y/n?”

“I mean…not really.” You answer truthfully. The more you think about it, the more uncomfortable you feel. There was this sort of tension your mind was warning you about, a sort of alarm, that the gaze you so fear is still right around the corner. Curse these anxieties, you thought. You try to shake off those thoughts and continue with your explanation. “ It’s kinda just like what Kana said, a pair of eyes everywhere- but lately, it’s been getting more frequent.”

You take another glance at Ruby, and you feel guilt course through you.“I-I’m sure it’s nothing though! I’m probably just being paranoid and stupid- sorry to worry you guys-“ her eyes were so sorrowful, it’s as if she’s seen a ghost. She looks at you as if you just spoken about a traumatizing experience with perfect nonchalance. And you wonder, maybe you did, and your fear has now increased tenfold.

“Paranoia or not, with the level of fame B-Komachi is acquiring these days, it wouldn’t hurt to enhance more security in your lives.” Saitou soon looked back at her computer, the sounds of her quick typing apparent. “ I can add more security to the building here since we now have the funds available for it. you can also ask us to install some security devices in your houses if you two feel that worried about it.”

“huh? I’m not that concerned.” Kana shrugged, though her face was a little bit more on edge than before. “ I just said it as a casual comment. I-I expected something like this anyway-I can find my way out of a situation like this easily.” Though her show of confidence was admirable, you could notice in her slight shifts in posture and twitches in her eye that she wasn’t feeling that safe now either. Now deepening more of your guilt as you silently berate yourself for even bringing the topic up.

To your relief and slight concern, Ruby finally spoke. “ Still, we should be really careful from now on, I don’t want any of us to get hurt.” Something was certainly off with her, too. But you couldn’t pinpoint what exactly. The twins have always been a mystery to you. though Ruby is better to understand, there are certain tones she has that make her words feel a bit like a lie or hide a deeper agenda. And for Aqua, it was always evident that he lies to hide certain emotions, or rather, lies to fabricate some emotions he shows to the public. Nevertheless, though your observation skills have always been on the stellar side, you still can’t fully understand who they are. And right now, with the cautious and out-of-character seriousness that Ruby’s tone has, you can guess that there’s a deeper reason for her tense nature. Still, that doesn’t explain the eerie feeling you get from Aqua. The nonchalance he has isn’t out of his personality, yet it plants a seed of doubt in your mind. “We should leave the place in groups from now on. “

“I agree.” Aqua comments. “We should be in groups divided by two, each person should walk with someone who's closer to their neighborhood.”

----

To your constant unfortunate luck, your home is much farther than everyone else's. With that, Ruby and Saitou paired up together, Since they live together, of course. Arima and Memcho were luckily near each other, and all that was left were you and Aqua. Though. Aqua could’ve easily just paired up with Ms.Saitou and Ruby, everyone thought it was ideal if you had a pair as well. after all, you are the one who raised the stalker concerns, as much as that guilts you now.

“Something on your mind, Y/n?”

In the now dark quiet streets of the once busy city, you find yourself ashamed and embarrassed for staying up all night again and working on the new song, completely forgetting about the blonde actor that was patiently waiting for you. it was around one a.m. when you finally checked the time and remembered the companion just a few seats away from you. After some apologizing, you began your walk to the now-empty streets. Hey, at least we avoided the crowd traffic’ Aqua commented, though it wasn’t really helpful in soothing your embarrassment. "It’s nothing. I just feel bad about bumming out your sister. Sorry about that.”

Aqua merely hummed, the casual sour look still on his face." don't blame yourself. It’s not your comment that got her frightened per se. we…didn’t have a good experience when the first B-Komachi fell from grace.”

Right, Ai Hoshino’s murder. The infamous idol that Ruby and Aqua always seemed so fond of seeing as a role model, they must’ve been scarred from her death as well, you figured. You give Aqua a sympathetic look. “ I can only imagine how hard it was for everyone in Strawberry Productions. He was silent for a moment, and the only noise in the dark streets was from the few little cars that were passing by. You wonder if you’ve crossed the line somewhere- perhaps your choice of words has caused a misunderstanding- but before you can clarify anything he finally speaks.

“Yeah…she was the star that always lit up the room. without her, everything started feeling….” The space between all his words, the hesitancy that was in his posture and tone, it was something you’d never seen from Aqua. an enigma of emotion from an emotionless boy.”… dim.”

“I see…” was all you could reply with. A few moments pass by, and by the unmoving stare Aqua has on the ground, you knew he was quite gloomy now. “Well- if it makes you feel any better…I think Ruby has that certain light Ai had.”

Aqua gives a small scoff. “She’s more like a fire hazard than a star.” He mumbles.

“And you say that because?”

“She gets too excited. I don’t understand why she wants to be an idol given our experience with it.”

oh, so everyone else wasn’t exaggerating. He is quite a bit protective of her. Even so, you wouldn’t go as far as calling him a siscon…although, Kana did mention that his protective behavior has died down a bit ever since your arrival. A connection that you were completely confused about, since there could be no way that you have affected their relationship in such a way when you were just a mere stranger to them. You go to a completely different school and only briefly known Arima as an old classmate. That was the only connection you had to B-Komachi until Saitou ordered a few commissions from you.

“Have you ever thought that maybe because of how much Ai has shined for her, she just wants to be that same star for others?” you suggest, though it was more of an absentminded thought of yours that’s been in the back of your mind for a few months now. You’ve seen her passion, and her love for the craft even through its hardships. And from a stranger's perspective, she’s got the best chance of being an idol than any other normal teenager. Her mother is a manager of an entertainment agency, and her brother already has a good reputation in acting. By all means, the field was hers for the taking.

Even so, your comment seemed to shock him once more. As he stops replying for a few minutes. you try to observe his expression, to see if there’s any change whatsoever, yet, once again, he remains as he’s always been. Whether he believes it or not, you must admit, he has exceptional skill in acting. Though he might not realize himself, the very power of hiding your true emotions requires much skill, one that Aqua honed from the very beginning of his childhood. It’s a certain skill not all people possess, and certainly not all actors of his age, it is why you believe he still gets so many roles, even if he thinks his skills are lackluster at best. Human expressions are often easy to decipher and understand. You know when someone’s angry or relaxed. Frightened or excited. But with Aqua, it’s all blank, even now, you find it extremely frustrating trying to decipher his expression’s emotions, and you probably look like a psychopath with how hard you’re staring at his face. Despite that, he doesn’t give one flinch under your gaze.

“Are you sure you’re not the real stalker? ” he solemnly says. You snap back to reality, looking away a bit embarrassed (and honestly, a bit amused by his dry humor,). You quickly apologize, muttering up an excuse about being stuck on a new song that’s in your head before looking straight ahead again.

“You’re not wrong, by the way.” He speaks up again. “ I guess…it does seem fitting for her to have that kind of goal.”

You merely hum at that, but soon enough, a question pops into your mind.

“What about you?”

“Hm?”

“Why are you in the industry?” you asked and gave him a glance, soon noticing that he was glancing at you as well. “You once told me that you hated acting. Is that still true?”

“There’s someone I’d like to meet.” He replied rather quickly this time. “And the only way to meet him is by going to the top in this industry, little by little.”

“Can’t you just…call him or something? Is he that big?”

“…I don’t know.” He meekly replied, speaking in riddles at this point. “ I just know he’s an actor.” Before you could question anything further, quell all the confusion in your remind by his words, he stops dead in his tracks and looks up behind you.

“This is your spot, right?”

You look behind you, seeing the ever-so-familiar- apartment complex your family lives in. “Uh…yeah.” You felt a bit of doubt get aced within you, and you quickly try to find out why. Soon, your eyes widened and you look at Aqua confused once again. “wait- how did you know I lived in this building?”

He looks at you blankly. “ you talked about annoying upstairs neighbors and your elevator breaking once. The only apartment around this area is yours, and the other building don’t have enough levels to consider an elevator.”

“okay?...you seriously got all that from one conversation with me?” you smiled a bit, amused by his strange nature.

Aqua merely hummed and shrugged. “ I’ve been told I have a good memory.”

“thoughtful, smart and handsome? Damn Aqua, no wonder everyone’s all heart eyes for you.” you teased a bit. “you’re like a prince charming and a bad boy all fit into one.”

“A bad boy?” he questioned, his tone, if one listened to it closely enough, a bit baffled by that statement. “In what terms could I be a bad boy?"

“I mean..in terms of otome games pretty much? It’s like you’re the popular kid and the aloof and quiet one-“

“So not a bad boy.”

“Hey now- one could argue that the quiet guy’s always a sort of a bad boy-“

“Does he ever commit any crimes or go against a certain system?”

“Well…no-“

“So then, not a bad boy.”

“Are you seriously arguing with me about otome characters?” you couldn’t help but chuckle, a giddy smile on your face. “Are you mad that I called you a bad boy?”

“No.” he huffed, and your excitement was further increased that he actually replied with a bemused tone rather than his normal monotone one. “ I just don’t see why anyone could perceive me as a bad boy.”

“Aqua,” you start getting amusingly serious about this discussion, completely forgetting the time and world around you. “ can we agree that a bad boy is basically the character who goes against a certain system in the story? Whether it’s the school or some sort of council?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then you’re a bad boy.”

“You lost me.” Aqua looks at you disappointed, and you giggle at this point, feeling rejuvenated at the fact that you're slowly breaking Aqua’s ice on emotions.

“You usually go against what a production or producer says during a show- like how you helped Akane get her reputation back after that scandal with the reality show.”

“That’s not really going against a system. I just did the right thing.”

“Spoken like a true bad boy!” you grinned. “That’s the exact words they say to the MC when they have a heart-to-heart.”

“Do you play otome games that much?”

“Do you always have to change the conversation when I’m right?”

Suddenly, and unexpectedly, Aqua’s blank face breaks, and he laughs. He giggles like he's been holding back for hours now, and the ballon of his façade was finally popped. And his smile, oh god, his smile- it wasn’t one of politeness or fake charm, like you’ve often seen him do on that reality show, no. it was real. And it was full of huffs and wheezes, like a true laugh would be. You thought you’d merely cracked his icy expression, but you’ve fully shattered it, it seems.

“Was what I said that funny?” you smile a bit, an unbeknownst giddy feeling taking over you from this whole ordeal.

“No, not really-” He huffs out another laugh, yet he tries to hide it with his hands. You want to grab that hand of his and put it back down, to see that true smile of his as he looks at you, but you stay put, and let him find comfort between the hand, holding it as a mask of sorts. “ but your reactions are.”

There’s a certain twinkle in his eye, a certain shine on his starry pupil that was always black. It was like a light was shining in it, it was looking almost like Ruby’s. it’s pure, and full of excitement, though his is more peaceful than his sister’s. you find yourself feeling your heart warm up, feeling a sense of victory over what you’ve done. Like you’ve cracked a case or solved an impossible puzzle, given a checkmate to a grandmaster in chess.

“You know, you should smile more.” You unconsciously blurt out. “It suits you.”

He doesn’t say anything to that, but it’s obvious now from his expressions ( you can’t believe you can say that now) that he’s shocked by your words, and bashful about it too. His cheeks get a rosy tint as he avoids your gaze.

“It’s really late.” He mumbles. “You should go inside now.”

“Right…” You sighed, now fixing up the bag on your shoulders and making your way inside. You’re one step away from opening the apartment’s door when Aqua suddenly calls out to you. As you turn around, what you see is a complete shift in Aqua’s expression, going from embarrassed and bashful to sorrowful and serious.

“If anything happens, just text one of us.”

Ah right. The stalker. You’ve almost forgotten about it on your walk with Aqua. though you sometimes did feel the prickling gaze, you merely ignored it, feeling safe with another companion beside you. yet now, knowing that tonight of all nights, your parents have left for a business trip together and you’re home alone makes fear in you settle in once more. You only nod in reply, now waving a bit at him then finally opening the door, and letting the fall breeze get away from you, and the sensation of warm heaters settle on your skin once more.

---

You couldn’t sleep.

From the moment you stepped into your house, something was up. You weren’t sure what it was. Either the eery silence that filled the place or the emptiness it has now, there was something wrong with your house, and you didn’t know where to look.

You made sure to lock all the doors and windows, turn on the TV, and put it on a reality show with the volume up just to give the potential stalker the illusion that you’re perhaps not alone. Coincidentally so, it was Aqua’s reality show that the channel was airing, so your fear-riddled and insomniac mind decided to make up a midnight snack and watch the episode.

With the blaring lights and strange love triangle (and honestly, a lack of drama compared to their Western counterparts,) you used the show as white noise as you scrolled through your phone.

‘Just text one of us’. Sure, that could’ve been useful if it wasn’t three in the morning and everyone was asleep by now, with their phones either on silent or turned off for good measure. Everyone is offline for now, everyone, except one, you noticed. Aqua, apparently, is still wide awake, and has been online for the last thirty minutes. with a few sleepy thoughts, you decided to bite the bullet and text him.

Y/N: hey

Y/N: can’t sleep either?

God. That was a cringey line. You hissed a bit at your own horrible conversation starters. You only hoped he doesn’t ignore your text so you’d just awkwardly delete it by the next morning. Luckily enough, he’s seen the message, and soon little bubbles appeared on your phone.

Aqua: No.

Aqua: I’m not even home yet.

Oh shit. Was your home that far from his? You felt really bad now.

Y/n: oh :(

Y/N: is your place far?

Aqua’s typing, and you’re patiently waiting for his reply by watching the TV again. Seeing how many fake smiles he puts on this show, you find yourself prideful in finding a true one tonight. Yet, a piercing fear soon latches on your pride, and you quickly look around in every direction, feeling the familiar watchful eyes. Though it was small, just like how it was at first, you can slowly feel it building up, and for a moment, you wonder if this is just your paranoia. You gulped. Your phone buzzes.

Aqua: No. I just didn’t feel like going home right now. I like taking walks near the park at this time.

You look at your phone. The feeling pierces you. you look up. it fades away. you rinse and repeat, and with every drop of paranoia, your heart becomes an ocean of fear. You try to ignore it. it must be your imagination. There is nothing here.

Y/n: ohh that’s cool.

Y/N: wish I had the confidence to do that all alone lol. I get pretty scared when I’m alone.

A loud noise erupts beside you and you flinch. You frantically look around, only to realize it was just the shocked gasp and overly edited slap sound of that infamous scene with Akane. You grumble at yourself.

Aqua: It’s pretty easy to do when you’re mind is somewhere else entirely. Usually, people make playlists for such occasions.

At least Aqua’s texting is helping you distract your mind from that fear. You smile a bit.

Y/n: ‘usualy people’?? what do you do? just accept the atmosphere?

Aqua: No.

Aqua: I just think there a lot.

Y/N: lmao nerd.

Aqua: You’re not funny.

Y/n: emo nerd.

Aqua: still unfunny.

Y/n: I should make you an emo song. Do you by chance like my chemical romance??

Aqua: Blocked.

You snicker, and a feeling of ease washes over you as you lightly bully him more. Though in five minutes the feeling of fear started to soothe down, it was now increased with a chime of a notification, and a message left you still and frozen.

The name was just a phone number, one completely unknown to you. the text being as mocking as it could be by asking you,

XXXXXXXXXX: do you watch reality shows often, Y/n? you don’t seem like the type.

Worst part was, that it was on your normal messenger app, one usually used to get some dumb advertisements and bank account info. Whoever this guy was, they knew your phone number. It made you even more sick, and you quickly blocked them. Your breathing heightened a bit as you finally got up from your couch and clicked on every light switch in the house. With thoughts on where they could be plaguing your mind, you rush to the kitchen, grabbing the sharpest knife you can and clutching it as your life depended on it- because in fact, it did. And that makes you feel even more hopeless.

Your phone chimes again, and unfortunately, it wasn’t Aqua. a new phone number, again, one you don’t know. The text made you want to hurl. To scream and tell whoever they were to get out and show themselves before you force them out.

XXXXXXXXX: That knife won’t help you

Fucking hell. Shit.shit shit shit— your breathing became ragged. Your mind started spiraling all over the place with thoughts on where they could be. In the closets, the vents, the cupboards behind you—

You open them. Nothing’s in there. you take a deep breath to calm down. It fails miserably. Should you call the cops maybe?—

Your phone buzzes

Aqua: did you fall asleep on me?

Oh thank god- he’s still awake. You get up, knife on the kitchen table and inches away from you as you quickly type.

Y/n: Aqua

Y/n: oh my god the stalker is real

You take a screenshot of the texts and send it to him.

Y/n: I don’t know what the fuck to do

Y/n: should I call the police????

Y/n: I’m home alone rn. But I keep feeling like someone’s watching me.

You wonder for a moment, that if you texting him this seems desperate and uncalled for. Your mind quickly berates you for that. This could be life or death. It’s a potential kidnapping we’re talking about- though, then again, why not just call the police- but he did say to text anyone if anything happens- that included him, right?- Of course it did, you think. Aqua at the moment is the only awake person you can trust right now. Maybe. Maybe not. Oh god why are you thinking about this so much-

Aqua: No. don’t call them. The stalker might get away.

Y/n : ????? that’s exactly what I want to happen???

Aqua: if they get away they’ll just target someone else. Stay put, don’t freak out.

Y/n: don’t freak out??? Aqua??? I’m??being???stalked??? they know where I live????? they’re watching me RIGHT NOW????

In your small conscious part remaining, you wonder if you’re freaking out a bit too much. But at the moment, your hands are shaking, and you can feel yourself at the very brink of a mental breakdown. You think you might die, or something even worse potentially happening.

Aqua: I know.

Aqua: just trust me please.

Aqua: I’m on my way right now.

Aqua: I’m not too far.

A sickening notification pops up.

XXXXXXXX: why are you crying?

Huh? Crying? Since when did you-

They send a picture of your crying, the perspective seeming zoomed in through the window of your house.

You fall silent, now noticing the teardrops that dribbled to your thumb, all coming down from your eyes like a wave. At this point, your body was shaking as if the room had been chilled to the bone. Your heartbeat has gotten so loud you can’t even think. You slowly turn your head to the window, and fall in despair over the empty displays of the buildings right next to you.

Y/n: Aqua

Y/n: If I die

Y/n: I’m going to fucking haunt you

Your sniffles have become louder, and you couldn’t help but just clutch your phone and knife for dear life as your eyes scan every corner. The feeling is still there. the prickling, needle-like sense of eyes watching your every flinch and tear. It felt like you were an object, like you were made to be in terror for this sick person’s amusement. All you could do now is hum your favorite lullaby and hope to dear life that it’d calm you down and you won’t die tonight.

Then, it happened. A familiar footstep slowly trudged near your door. A familiarity you never even knew it even existed. It’s the same almost quiet steps, one taken with such slow and meticulous planning, that you’d almost think it didn’t exist, that it was all just your imagination. For a long time, you thought it was. For months, you were sure it was all in your head, that these strange tip-toed footsteps and piercing gaze is merely your anxiety knowing your mind. But it wasn’t. dear god it wasn’t. the person behind that door was your stalker. Your heart is racing badly. You gulped, and a few broken breaths of gasp and tears spilled down more. You clutched the knife for dear life. Tonight was your doom.

Three knocks bang on your door. “Y/n? “ the voice, soothing yet cold, makes your senses fall down and your breath hitch. “ it’s me, Aqua.”

Quickly, with no time to lose and a gasp of relief, you get up from your seat and scramble to open every lock you put on the door. When it opens, you’re met with an out of breath Aqua, as if he ran all the way just to get to you, yet you see no sweat on his forearms or face. But that didn’t matter to you, all that mattered was that you weren’t alone. You’re safe. Safe here. with Aqua.

“Have you been crying?” his question goes unanswered. You just look at him with more tears threatening to fall down. Your breath hitches and you break into sobs. All the shock and fear leaves your body quickly, leaving aftershocks of emotional turmoil and pain. You hug him, and you don’t know why exactly you do. it was probably from relief, from the thought of not dying tonight. But you wreak in the sobs like there’s no tomorrow as you clutch his black hoodie for dear life. Your mind is in shambles, so it doesn’t cross you odd that he hadn't gone home, yet had a complete wardrobe change now. The only thing you cared about was that he was here, and the stalker wasn’t. or at least, the stalker won’t appear. Not when he’s around.

Slowly, Aqua hugs you back. he holds you tight and lets you make a mess of tears and sniffles on his hoodie as he tries to calm you down.

“I’m here now. There’s no need to be scared.”

Right. He’s here. and when Aqua’s here, you don’t feel that gaze on you anymore. As if it faded away entirely. When he’s here, you feel relieved.

He really is just like a prince charming.

-----

It’s been two weeks since that accident, and due to it, you found yourself now living with the B-Komachi team all in the same apartment.

Aqua said he checked all the streets and alleyways around him after he called Ms.Saitou that night, telling her to drive him back into their home now for safety. Saitou convinced Aqua to contact the police as well, so they could send an investigator to be on the case. You don’t know how much evidence they’ve found for now, but from how frustrated Saitou looked these days, you can guess things weren’t going well.

“I win again!”

“What?! But I was almost first place!! You definitely cheated-“

“Ruby, did you forget I stream for a living? Obviously, I have good skills in these games-“

“still!! I was so close to winning that one…”

-“Could you two be quiet for a minute? I’m trying to memorize my lines here-“

“Then go to another room!”

“The other rooms are too cold to sit in!”

“Then take a blanket with you.”

“No way, I’d get sleepy.”

“You’re just scared of being alone, aren’t you?”

“W-what?! N-no! Obviously not!”

You sigh, unable to concentrate on yourself now from the commotion going on behind you. you close your laptop and put it on your blanketed lap, putting on your earbuds and hoping that the girls’ enthusiasm over living together dies down in the next weeks at least.

Living with B-Komachi has become…well- as best as it could be. It’s not like they were bad people- of course not. And you all got along well too. But the whole ‘almost dying and fearing for your entire life’ thing that happened less than a month ago has left you pretty on edge lately. You can’t bring yourself to write anything or even do anything ever. The only thing you made was a small lyrics drabble, but it was so bizarre and different from other songs you made for them that you just abandoned the whole draft. Honestly, right now all you desire is an eternal nap and an unlimited supply of your favorite songs (or as unlimited as they can get, though Spotify has been really annoying you these days with its ads).

You want to be excited about this, to bond more with the girls and get a better understanding of who the group is and what music fits them best, but you can’t bring yourself to do it when everything feels so new and nauseating to be around. You were used to being alone, to having your parents leave on work trips on a daily and having a senseless quiet takeover of the room. having another presence in the house, and the presence being as loud as their group is, was not really helpful in getting accustomed to this new setting Ms.Saitou assured would only be a ‘one week’ thing. A precaution was just made to make sure the ‘Ai’ incident doesn’t occur again.

It was weird enough how easily Kana and Memcho accepted this situation and Kana’s parents even gave the green light, but it was even more shocking that your parents didn’t even call to check on you and just gave you a lousy text of ‘hope you’re okay’.

How they even gave permission for you to stay here was bad too. They didn’t even know you worked for Strawberry Productions- how on earth were they okay with you staying here? did they not care for you that much?

Sure, it was you who had to accept it anyway- and you did, because at this point, there was nowhere else to go. Living with your parents would only lead to depressing moments, since conversations with them always felt like speaking to a stranger rather than your own family- and relatives? Out of the question. the ones you favor are way too far, and the ones that are close aren’t near enough to your school and work.

The more you thought about it, the more your frown deepened and you buried yourself into your blanket, one of the few things you brought with you from the apartment, and one that gives you a little ounce of comfort in this unknown area.

“hey,” a shadow looms over you, and you don’t even turn around to see who it was. It was obvious from their voice. Determined, bit bossy, yet kind and well-meaning. Kana has always been the one you were closest to around here. although, that's not really saying much, since you have that feeling only because you’ve been classmates in the past, but have never spoken a word to each other. “give me some space.” She said, almost in a demanding tone- but you knew her intentions were from the immense kindness she possessed. a kindness that could be a blessing and a curse, one might argue. You tuck your legs in and scooch a bit deeper into the couch’s back, giving enough space for Kana to sit down and look at you with her intense gaze. “How are you holding up?” The question made you feel numb.

“meh.”

Her eyes squinted in slight annoyance at your response, though, you could see the underlying worry in it. “ I’m serious.” She huffed. “ it’s fine if you still feel pretty shitty. You know that, right?”

“I know.”

“so do you feel shitty?”

'Do you feel shitty?' is an amusing, yet mind-pausing question. do you? do you feel like an absolute fucking tired and exhausted and in need of a slumber of death kind of person right now? Well, to them, you probably look the part now, don’t you? Dressed in the most comfortable clothes you had, doing none of your school work, barely doing any music work and drowning yourself in your biggest comforts while dissociating from the world around you.

“I…maybe?” your voice breaks to one of confusion. “ I don’t know what I feel,” you move around a bit, your neck feeling a bit cramped from the twist it had to remain in just to see her. “ I don’t know what to feel. “ you sighed.

“It’s just that— well…” you stay silent for a moment, collecting your thoughts, then you speak again. “It all just happened so fast…I don’t know what to process first or last. Actually, I’d rather not process anything at all.” You turn your neck around, freeing it from its frustrating twist and now looking at the ceiling. “ I just wish I could forget it. because deep down, I know this isn’t a one-time thing.”

“hm? What do you mean by that?”

You look at her blankly for a moment, thinking perhaps you should shut your mouth and not explain further, afraid that it’ll lead to more fear growing and breaking the calm atmosphere this apartment has despite its dark reasoning for even being occupied with idol residents at the moment. You can still hear Ruby and Memcho fighting over who gets to be player one on the game they're playing, your songs, though now white noise to your conversation, still give you a sense of peace. You’d rather hold these small threads of positivity rather than prick and destroy them one by one. Unfortunately for you, Kana Arima is a professional actress first, Idol second. And as part of her career, she has studied the human expression and it’s changes for years on end. She’s enhanced her skills, skills that easily surpass your observant ones. Just like you, she can sense the fake smiles of Aqua, she sees the stress that lays behind Saitou’s shoulders, and she absolutely can see the blank look you give her being one of conflict and hesitance. She furrows her eyebrows at you and crosses her arms.

“Hiding all the bad things and keeping it to yourself won’t fix the issue.” She started scolding you as if you were a child, her little sibling she’s trying to give a good life lesson to. “Like it or not, you’re a part of the B-Komachi team. It doesn’t matter if you’re on stage or behind the scenes. It’s your songs that people enjoy. This whole stalker thing should be enough proof for you to realize how valuable you are to this team.”

“—Kana, we don’t even know why the stalker had me as a target in the first place— it could’ve been the same old creepy gross guys who follow high schoolers.”

“Still,” she urged. “Hiding your feelings and digging them down won’t help. Trust me, I’ve been there.”

You take a glance at her, and only see a face of understanding. However, there was a tint of red on her cheeks, and her eyes looked like they were far back in memory lane. It’s then you remember her huge crush on Aqua that's gotten crushed by the reality TV debacle. Even though that relationship didn’t last, purely because it was a fake one anyway, it seemed to have stung a lot for her.

You hesitate, though come to the conclusion that what you’ll say might help with the strange situation you’ve all been cast in. After all, the last time you’ve spoken about things, you’ve survived a potential murder.

“I feel horrified.” You gulped. “ I keep— I keep feeling like this isn’t the last time I saw that stalker- it wasn’t a first time either. Something about the way they texted…the way they watched me was so oddly familiar.” You started fidgeting with your fingers out of stress, completely avoiding her gaze now. “so I’ve been thinking— and I-I know this sounds crazy but- I never walked back home after school, I always headed to the Strawberry Production building, and after my work’s done I head back home…and honestly? I never had that sense of being watched when I was walking out of school…only when I was heading back home from work I felt it— I guess- what I’m saying is-“

“You think the stalker might be working in the agency, right?”

“Y-yeah pretty much” you sighed. It felt like you were disobeying something, disrespecting a rule by accusing the very agency and team that is offering you protection. “ sounds pretty crazy, right?” you joked, desperately trying to lighten the mood. “I might be losing my mind.”

Kana is quiet. Unusually so. Her gaze remains stuck on the ground beneath you as she pouts in thought.”…you might be on to something there.”

“Wait- seriously?”

“I mean- you said it yourself.” She reasoned. “ the only time you felt like the stalker was near was when you got out of the building- and this all started happening when you joined the team in the first place, so this leads to one conclusion—“ she finally looks back up at you, a perplexed frown on her face and eyes that seemed filled with the same fear you feel. “ the stalker is someone inside the agency- specifically someone working with B-Komachi.”

You wanted to continue the conversation, to perhaps lead to a few suspects or at the very least a few key clues you could give to the detectives later, or maybe even, just investigate the whole thing yourself since they didn’t seem to be doing much. But as you were going to speak, the front door opened and everyone’s eyes quickly went to the bags of takeout, and the meticulous blonde who was holding onto them.

“They only had one can of strawberry soda left.” He said, not understanding the war he was about to erupt.

“DIBS!!!!” Ruby’s war cry was followed with screams of NO!!, soon Kana chased after her and left you and Memcho to quietly look at each other and mourn the peace that was in this building for less than half a day.

----

Emptied-out sodas and cardboard, oil-drenched baskets of food are left for you to pick up for the night. With the B-Komachi’s starry idols all napping soundly on the couches, too tired to even go back to their rooms to sleep, you and Aqua are left to pick up the mess from today’s banquet.

You would go to a giant bear nap too if it weren’t for the fact that you were rotting in bed all day, then relocated to the couch when Memcho urged you to get out of the room for once in a while. For Aqua, however, you really can’t find a reason. Other than the feeling of obligation and responsibility as an older brother, that is.

“Are you done with the trash?” he quietly whispers out. you nod, closing up the black plastic bag with your palm and walking up to the small kitchen where he was, mopping up some traces of food you could barely see in the dot.

“Thanks for helping.” You whispered back, done with your last task and sitting on one of the chairs. “ you really didn’t have to.”

Aqua merely shrugged, the broom that was in his hand now placed in the small corner of the place. “ it was nothing.” Was his only response, right before he surprisingly enough, took out a chair and sat across you. he looks at you with a focused gaze- one completely different from the underlying sympathetic gaze Kana had. “how are you feeling?”

Frankly, you were a bit tired from constantly hearing this question, but you can understand why they keep asking it. not everyone comes out of a situation like this fine, or even unscathed. truth is, you feel terrible. You feel far more than shitty ever. You just want to wake up, to realize this has all been a creepy dream made up by your brain as punishment for the lack of sleep you keep giving yourself. Alas, no matter how much you blink or how muh you sleep now, you wake up in the same place. The new unfamiliar apartment and the uneasy feeling.

This is the first time Aqua directly speaks to you after the incident, first time after seeing you sob on his shoulder like you saw your life flash between your eyes. It feels awkward, to say the least. You can’t help but avoid his gaze, too embarrassed and vividly remembering the way you held onto him that night. God dammit- how does he easily affect people this much?! He barely does anything, he’s not even flirtatious or teasing, yet, his words and sincerity are so raw and real, it makes people, and unfortunately even you, swoon.

“fine. I guess.”

“good.” Unlike Kana, Aqua doesn’t pry much longer. He doesn’t try to spill information out of you. why that reason is, belonged to either his way of interrogating being different, or the fact that he was there in the moment, and knows that you are in fact, not fine. “ have you made any new songs?”

A bitter taste forms in your mouth, feeling disappointment reek into your bones from your own laziness. “just some lyrics.” You muttered ashamed. Yet Aqua didn’t criticize, nor did he pressure you to work more. Rather, he asked if he could look at the work, and so you booted up your laptop and gave it for him to scroll. Usually, the first people who get to give an opinion on the work is B-Komachi’s idols themselves, then you approach Aqua to give a fan’s perspective of the work. So, to simply put, you were feelign quite nervous about the whole new ordeal, praying to the universe that you haven’t goofed up or messed up a word in the lyrics. Aqua doesn’t flinch, barely even blinks as he intently reads your newest work. It’s quite cute, how he gets so serious when it comes to idols. A little creepy yes- but still quite nice, since he never really seem interested in much anyway. Even towards his career, he seemed quite bored of it. yet with Idols and their songs, and specifically and weirdly enough, how they give hope to younger fans, he seems quite determined and entranced by it. at your first week working, he once told you that ‘the first hope in a fan ignites when they hear song resonating with them’. You never quite understood that, since all the songs you’ve heard from idols have been about hope and trying hard, but you always found those words to be just empty lies. A little motivator as white noise when you’re working to the bones for a dream that is impossible to achieve. To you, one doesn’t just ahcieve success by sheer hard-work. Usually, all you need is luck and money. Despite that ideal, look at where you are now. Gone from a small composer just sending songs online as a hobby to a full-blown career. Maybe , sometimes in the world all you need is hard-work.

Something about that makes you feel weird.

Aqua leans away from the blaring lights of the computer, his eyes that were glued to the screen now glancing at you. you shift awkwardly for a moment, feeling your heart beat rise up as you ask the haunting question. “thoughts?”

He looks back at the computer again, then at you. his eyes were so deep in thought that for an anxious moment— you think that he might trying to formulate his harsh critcism in the nicest way possible—

“I think it’s amazing.”

You look at him bewildered. A sense of pride slowly grows in your heart, but you urge him with your expression to continue.

“it’s…well it’s not really B-Komachi’s style at all- but in terms of your skills- it’s the best thing you’ve made yet.” Your look is enough shock to urge him to continue. “ it feels more..like you than B-Komachi. You wrote this from the heart and it shows.”

“…huh, I never really thought of it that way..” you think back on the lyrics, remembering the undertones of worries each line had about the costs of stardom- something that was meant to be about reaching high like a star has become a criticism of such a possibility- just like Aqua said, it’s a song not fit for B-Komachi’s thoughts, but yours instead.

“ it’s moving.” Aqua said, with a normal tone and unmoving expression, yet also with eyes looking back at you with such strong wielded boldness, he comes off serious. “ it feels like I’m looking at thing in an idols real perspective rather than the perception they show for the fans.”

“so…It’s stupidly edgy and I need to scrap it?” you huffed out, now criticizing every line you wrote within your mind.

Aqua’s eyebrows furrow, his eyes look at you with frightening intimidation. “I want you to keep writing this.”

“woah, ok there bad boy,” You tried to shrug off the fear that jumped on your shoulders. “ why are you so serious about this?”

He takes a moment to answer, only starring at the laptop screen before him, scanning the lines once more as he speaks. “I’ve seen how you work.” For a moment, his comment comes off as jarring, until you remember the night he stayed with you till late night for the group walk. “ you often start working on a song for hours, but halfway through you get scared and give up on it. no matter how good it is, you listen to it so much that you suddenly start seeing flaws in it and you start from scratch one more time.”

Feeling embarrassed, you quickly defend yourself. “I just wanna make sure it’s catchy even by the tenth listen- it’s how you keep making fans come back for more.”

“No, you do it because you’re a perfectionist.” Ouch. That one stung a bit. “ you have so much anxiety over your work not being good enough that you don’t stop until you’re completely satisified with it.”

“W-well— well…uh…!” you desperately try to find excuses, anything that could change his mind, but you fall short, and are left speechless at his straight to the point remarks which have left a considerable stinging damage to your pride and heart.

“keep working on this.” He closed your laptop, the dark engulfing his face and the atmosphere. He glances back at you, and in this dark, barely lit by the street lights and silent room, you see a certain sincerity in his eyes that Aqua would’ve never show in broad daylight. Aqua has always been sincere, he’s always been honest, but it was only ever visible through his actions rather than expressions. Having the Aqua Hoshino, infamous for being incredibly quiet and dry, show this level of care and volume through his starry pupiled eyes was a miracle in itself. Him laughing? That was like peaking mountain Everest, now him showingf you another vulnerability? One that, you’d guess a guy like him would see as unnecessary for him to ever even express having, show it to you? my god, it’s like you’ve travelled the galaxies.

“you don’t need to start over again.”

“…never knew you cared that much about my health.” Your gaze doesn’t look into his, fearing you might get emotional from it.

“why wouldn’t I care?” Aqua gazed away as well, trying to avoid you seeing his face. “…I care for you.” he then quickly added, “everyone in B-Komachi does.”

You frowned, your heart was rested in confusion, and the midnight hours and daily oversleeping has left you with a mix of emotions you couldn’t comprehend. “..it feels weird.”

“what does?”

“…you guys caring.” You hesitantly answer. A lump latched onto your throat. “..I never really…felt that before, you know?like-“ you become silent for a moment, organizing your thoughts into comprehensible sentences, and Aqua patiently waits, like he always does. “— I-I had my parents feeding me and all that, but, I never really felt like…they did it out of love, you know? it always….” You fell short, unsure of how to finish the sentence. Yet Aqua finishes it for you.

“it always…feels like they do it out of responsibility, rather than love.” There was something about his tone, something about how his shoulders hunched, and his gaze was latched to the table. How his fists clenched into a grip. It was like he’s been through this as well, that he’s felt this too. For a moment, you wonder what his father was like. Or how Ms.Saitou perhaps has treated him due to her packed up work schedule.

“Exactly.” A sigh comes out from your lungs, and a heavy weight gets back in it instead. "you know…sometimes- I keep thinking about…—” your lungs felt full, and you wanted to throw up. the stab wound that was left on your heart started throbbing in pain.

“ ..I keep thinking about how fucking funny it is-“ you couldn’t help it. couldn’t help but let the well of emotions you had bottled up all inside of you slowly drip, spill and quickly leave like small little teardrops almost coming out of your eyes, making the world look as blurry as ever.,and you choked on your laugh a bit. “ that Kana cared more- Ms.Saitou cared more- and you, cared more than my parents ever did.” Before you knew it, your tears were slipping.” My parents didn’t even call me yet. It’s been days after the incident and they still haven’t called me. y-yet— everyday, Ruby tries to distract me with different activities- Memcho keeps trying to help with my homework- and—“ You weren’t sure what made you sob like this. Perhaps it was your mind finally breaking from the exhaustion, or maybe it’s all your pent-up emotions now blowing up in rage. Whatever it was, it’s making you sniffle and hiccup as quietly as you possibly could muster. For a moment, you’re embarrassed and ashamed from the fact that this is your second time crying buckets when you’re with Aqua. you wonder if he’s cast a spell on you, or maybe it’s just pure instinct to be so trustful of him and easily show your vulnerability to him. in some part of you, you feel like he understands you. he gets what you’re going through and knows of it’s hardships. The hardships of neglect, of loneliness, and the fear of failing the expectations loved ones set out for you.

Aqua doesn’t speak. He’s completely quiet as you hold back your hiccups and try to stray away the depressing thoughts in your mind. He gets up, walks closer to you and then opens his arms as an offer for a hug. One that you quickly accept, wrapping your arms around his back as he does with you. it’s just like last time, yet, in this one, his hug feels different. Rather than having a relaxed form and giving you access to leave if you want, his arms put you in a lock, tightly holding onto you for dear life as you cry on his shoulder and try to escape in its comforts.

He gives you no access to leave, no way of leaving the hug he’s set you on. if your mind wasn’t so riddled, you’d be a bit perplexed and scared of that idea, but you aren’t thinking straight, not when you’re with him. right now, all you want is to have someone-anyone- who could be here for you and become a shoulder to cry on and listener to whine to, and shockingly so, Aqua has become the perfect person for it.

“….you need a break.” He mumbled, his chin resting on top of your head, eyes in deep thought. “Being stuck here for so long is only making your mental state worse.”

“I-I don’t think a day outside is going to help much,” you speak through a sniffle. “ and what if the stalker’s still out there? it’d put the whole team in danger.”

“the stalker won’t show up if it’s somewhere public.” He loosens up his hold a bit, and you lean away to look up at him. “there’s actually an amusement park's opening that’s happening tomorrow.” He brought up, and his conversation and your emotional blurriness of a mind is enough for you to not realize how close you two are, inches away and looking like a married couple. Yet he, ever the cool-headed, doesn’t seem to mind the position at all. “there’ll be plenty of people there to stop any sort of kidnaping or crime happening. We should go there. it’ll help brighten your mood and quell a bit of your fears.”

“We?” you raised a brow. It was a question you’d quickly regret, since Aqua’s face flinched a bit and he looked away ashamed.“…sorry- you can obviously go by yourself—“

“oh no nonono-!!! I didn’t mean it like I don’t want you there!-“ you spoke a bit louder than intended, a huge amount of self-cringe now stuck on your heart from asking stating your question in the worst way possible. “I just thought you might be busy- since you have that whole full time variety show job going on.” you looked down embarrassed. Somehow, meeting his gaze is so difficult. Especially at the dawn of midnight, where human emotions, even as controlled as Aqua’s, can pour out easily in one’s eyes. You fear that he might see your small affection for him, how you’ve grown close to the stoic, multiple fanclub having actor.in a moment of sleepy haziness, you gulped, fiddling with the hem of your clothes as you mutter, “I’d actually love to go with you.”

“…”

“….”

Quiet. It’s incredibly, and agonizingly silent. Your mind is screaming in terror and rage over what you’ve just muttered and he obviously fucking heard since your fucking inches away and oh my fucking god Y/n you fucking idiot you idiot you fucking dumbasss oh my goood-

You bite the bullet and slowly look up to see his, what you would assume would be weirded out or awkward expression. Yet, that’s not the case at all. rather, he’s blushing. And he looks a bit irritated with that. His hands are shaking a bit, trying to slowly go up to hide his face from you, but he doesn’t know you’re looking at him yet. That you’re seeing this evident red blush on his face once more, and the embarrassed pout he has. His gaze is far away from yours as he keeps thinking quietly, believing that you’re quietly looking away from his too.

You’re in awe. You feel like butterflies are stuck in your stomach. Your heart is in less depressive disarray and rather, it’s in an exciting mess instead. You don’t know what you should do now- or even how clearly he likes you back or perhaps, is just really flattered by what you have said. Maybe even- he’s completely embarrassed. God, Aquamarine Hoshino always keeps you guessing.

He looks back at you with widened eyes and a small gasp, his sharp mind now noticing that you have seen his embarrassed face. His hand instinctively comes up to hide it, but he knows it’s too late. He can’t help but stray away from your gaze. His starry pupil was shining once more.

“uh….” You want to die from embarrassment, but you push through it and try to not speak in the shakiest dumbest voice ever. “ so…are you free?” you weren’t sure if you wanted him to say yes or no, you’re unsure of how badly he’ll reject you, or how much coldness there would be when he begrudgingly says yes, but you hope to dear god that it’d be as less damage inducing to your heart than you believed it would be.

“it’s a weekend, so yes.” To that, you gave a sigh of relief. Muttering a ‘cool’ before going back to an awkward silence. You felt something tug your fingers, and you soon glanced and realized it was Aqua’s fingers slowly inching closer to yours, yet not doing any movement to intertwine them. As if he was waiting for your permission for such a step. You’re certain you look absolutely embarrassing right now, because the butterflies and jitters of lovestruck and glee you feel is coursing through your veins, and you’re desperately holding back yourself from smiling in pure giddy. You slowly intertwine your hands with his, hearing your heartbeat louder than ever.

Aqua clears his throat, and you hope he’s not looking at your dumbstruck face, but you can’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. “..I’m glad you like spending time with me,” he mumbled. A squeeze was giving to your palm, like it was a sign of reassurance. Sign of honesty. “because I like hanging out with you too.”

You were going to pass out. You were speechless, mind processing every little word and action he’s done up until now, desperately trying to understand how he’s gotten you so flustered this easily. You truly don’t know what to say, but rather than remaining quiet and letting a new and worse state of awkwardness set in, you bring your intertwined hands up, and quickly peck his knuckles and release your hold. You don’t even look to see his reaction, feeling your panic rise up from the unthinkable action you’ve just done. You quickly say thank you and bid goodnight, speed-walking as quietly as you could, while trying yo not hit any of the idols who were sound asleep on the ground and completely unaware of what has transcribed in the kitchen.

You want to shut your door as fast as you can, but before you do, you steal one more glance at the kitchen, and see Aqua with a widened, indescribable expression on his face, and the blush redder than it ever was, starring at his kissed hand as if it was a raw diamond from the mines.

You shut your door, and immediately jump and scream into your pillow.

What the fuck did you just do?!

------

Chitters and chatters of the crowd dulled the sound of drums and flutes that was coming from the carnival. children and adults of all ages frolicked at the new park like ants, trying everything and taking pictures at every corner they knew. The animal mascots happily engaged with the kids and played different carnival games with them (all whom were rigged, but when the mascots played they’ve instantly became fair.) the smell of candy and pretzels was invading your senses, and you found yourself craving for cotton candy as you walk by the stalls.

Aqua Hoshino, the man who made you think so much last night that you barely got a wink of sleep in you, yet you’re so nervous and excited about today that you’re thankfully not dying from exhaustion-, is walking beside you. his eyes trail on where your head turns too, and he notices you staring a bit too longingly at the cotton candy cart with a circle of parents and children around it.

“you want something?” he asks, yet you look at him and politely shake your head. You’d rather die than make someone else pay for your cravings, especially something as childish as cotton candy-

Aqua’s eyes squint a bit, and he hums. He leaves your said, walking closer to the pink cart. You frantically follow suit.

“w-what are you doing?”

He gives you a glance before answering. “I’m hungry.”

“oh.” you slow down your pace. “ok then.”

You patiently wait as Aqua waits for his turn, buying one cotton candy and walking ip to you. he takes one bite, and you never knew how strange of an image is to see such a cold guy like Aqua eat sweets, especially since he doesn’t seem to be enjoying it much. You get suspicious, and that feeling only grows when after one slow bite and gulp, he offers the pink fluff to you.

“I can’t finish it.”

“ but you only had one bite?!” you countered.

He merely shrugged. “my eyes were bigger than my stomach, I guess.”

You pout, looking at the cotton candy as if it was a trick lied up by a scummy fox. Yet, it looked so delightful. A pink shade so soft, and a sticky shine to it that left your mouth watering. You begrudgingly take it, looking at Aqua inquiring. “you bought this for me, didn't you?”

Aqua doesn’t answer, because he knows he doesn’t need to. he merely looks at you with a tiny bit amusement in his eyes as he says, “ if you don’t eat it now it’ll melt and your hands will get sticky.”

“oh, are you beckoning Snow White to take a bite of the apple?” with your nervous anxieties treading away slowly, your shyness was melting faster than the cotton candy in your hand.

He rose a brow. “are you saying I’m the evil witch?”

“No, of course not.” You smiled, as if you hit the jackpot. “I’m saying you’re the gorgeous Queen.”

“isn’t that character the same character, though?”

“hm, that is true,” you ponder for a moment, instinctively twirling the cotton candy in your hands. “…then you’re the prince, I guess.” You looked up at him with a grin. “ gorgeous and beckoning. It’s a perfect fit.” You stare at him, looking like you’re a snarky winner, a playboy who won the popular boy’s affection, yet rather than blushing like you wanted him to, he stays silent for a moment, but his mouth keeps shifting- like he’s holding back a smile. He finally breaks, giving you a subtle smirk and looking down at your hands.

“the cotton candy’s falling.”

“the what-“ your eyes quickly widened, looking at your hand and seeing the cloud-like candy being seconds away from hitting the pavement underneath you. in a quick disarray, you regrettably grab the thing with your bare hands, groaning in disappointment, yet still taking a bite of it. you hear a snicker, and look back to see Aqua looking at you with a small smile. If someone told you last month that ‘smiling’ would actually be a common expression of Aqua’s, you’d holler and laugh, yet here you are.

He takes a candy off your palm and eats it. your shock increases, and becomes extremely apparent on your face. He looks at you with a certain competitive glint in his eyes. “ what?” he questions your reaction. “I’m not the Evil Queen I’m the prince, so of course, I wouldn’t give you anything poisonous now, would I?” though his face has become blank, you could hear the hint of giddiness in his tone. “so you should eat what I give you, Snow White.”

Though he wasn’t wrong, a small part of you felt like he was much more serious about his words than he let on. there was something about his tone, an underlying certainty you can’t quite pin well. nevertheless, you trust him, so you take another cotton candy and let it dissolve in your mouth.

Soon after, you quickly went to the bathroom to wash up the last remaining's of the cotton candy, then decide to go on the fastest roller coasters you knew. In every single ride, Aqua either just gave a short gasp from the lack of air or just- quietly held onto his seat with mortified expression on his face. Meanwhile you and other passengers were screaming your lungs out like never before. After the rides, he’d ask you ,with a tinge of plead in his voice, if this is the last one you want to try, and he’d look at you deeply puzzled when you answer no.

After so many rides, exhausted, you take a break at the café as the sky darkens. Aqua insisted on paying, but you managed to convince him to split the bill instead. The small place you chose had their walls filled with drawings of its mascots. Actors and entertainers all frolicked around the place and stole the children's attention. The smell of pizza was engulfing itself in the air, making most customers give in to temptation and order more than just coffee. Aqua left to place the order moments ago, so you were mindlessly scrolling through your phone, trying to silence the loud cries of a four year old sitting across the window in your mind. The light on top of your table leaves a warm aura on your head ever few seconds, and soon, when you see a shadow loom over you, and it’s smell was riddled with smoke, your posture stiffens as you realize it’s not Aqua. you look up, seeing a guy around your own age, dressed in a leather jacket with tattoos riddled on him. not a good sign- but they did say to never judge a book by it’s cover. Though..that snarky smirk on his face, added in with the glint of pride in his black eyes gives you the sudden urge to run and avoid. But, you stay still, and when you see he hasn’t spoken yet, but keeps staring at you, you clear your throat and put your phone down. “uh…may I help you?”

His nose scrunched up, his smirk becoming a grin. You want to die. “ what’s a pretty thing like you doing here all alone?”

You hold back your scowl. Best not to evoke rage in this guy. “ I’m not alone.” You say it clearly. “ I’m actually with a friend right now. he just went to order.” You hoped he’d get the message.

He raises a brow, as if he was challenged to a brawl by a wimpy brave kid thinking they could defeat him. his whole posture screams cocky bastard as he leans a bit down to your level.

“you mean that celebrity blonde over there?” he points to Aqua, whom was waiting in line. he then scoffed. “ what are you doing dating an attention-seeker like him? did you want something exciting to happen?” don’t punch him don’t punch him don’t punch him-

You hold back the urge to pull on his black hair and shove him to the ground. Though, you do give him a disgusted glare. One which he gave an amused one back.

“what? Did I hit it right on the nail?” quite the opposite, actually. This fucker really doesn’t know what he's talking about, and it’s obvious that he’s just trying to cause a scene just to prove something to those friends of his outside the café. You wonder why no security guard has approached them yet. By now, you’re glancing around the crowd hoping for an employee to see your obvious discomfort and usher him out. however, a part of you fears that that’s exactly what he’d want. An attention seeker at heart, he seems like.

Seeing as you gave no response, he continued. “ if you want excitement so much, why not ride along with me and my friends?—“

“—and you are?” the sudden calm voice of Aqua brings relief into your heart. Your head quickly snaps back to him, seeing that he looks rather irritated- annoyed even, by the sudden man’s interruption in your hang out. he gives you a small glance of concern, then his face shifts to one of annoyance once more when he looks back at the guy whose only inches away from you and very visibly making you feel uncomfortable.

“I’m the better guy for them.” You couldn’t hold back your snort.

“I don’t even know you.” you managed to bring up through your laugh. Though- the laughter was more out of stress than amusement. It was a strange amalgamation of both of those feelings.

Aqua takes one more glance at you, his eyebrows furrowed deeper. “ look, you’re making my friend uncomfortable. I suggest you leave before I ask an employee to call security on you.”

The guy seemed to want to quarrel more, to show his ‘superiority’ in some way, but thankfully, the manager quickly came into the picture and asked for the guy to leave. He did, though not without sending a few death glares to Aqua and the people who were ogling at him. when Aqua finally sat down, and the chatters of the people around you started again, you found yourself smiling.

“are you okay?” Aqua asked, his eyes quickly scanning to see if you’re still uncomfortable or maybe even hurt. Only to be left confused when he saw the small smile that was on your face. “seriously, are you okay? Are you having a stroke?”

You felt a giggle bubble up in your chest. “I’m fine.” You grinned. “I’m fine, because you’re here.”

Aqua froze, looking down at the table.it is here you come to the conclusion that Aqua often avoids your gaze when you flirt, as if he’s trying to hide the windows to his soul, to what he’s feeling from your actions and words.

“….you really need to stop saying those cheesy pick-up lines.”

“but you seem to like them!”

“on the contrary, I don’t.” he lied through his teeth, and for an actor, his performance on this was very lackluster. his actions made you feel like a winner.

“for an actor, you sure are a horrible liar.”

He says nothing, and you remain victorious.

-----

With the sky almost pitch black, and the sun no where to be seen, the carnival booths were one of the only light sources through your walk. In the amidst of the loud, shining and overbearing colors of knick knacks and toys between the booths, a certain plushy catches your eye.

“oh my god- there’s no way-“ you couldn’t believe it for a moment, and you didn’t notice the confused look Aqua sent you as you speed-walked to a small booth full of plushies, Through al the teddy bears, fluffy bunnies and kuromi merchandises, there was a small, adorable little Kaito from Vocaloid plushies that absolutely charmed you. it was a mad hatter themed one, all from the iconic hat to the purple-ish zany suit. You see no game set up, which made you conclude that this is just a shop set up through all the booths. A place for anyone to buy a plushie if they just didn’t win anything.

“do you want it?” Aqua’s voice startled you. you looked back at him, glanced back at the beckoning adorable dopey face of Kaito and then gave a look at the price- shit- that’s a lot of money for just one plushie- and then it hit you- this was a limited time one, so with so many small amounts around with this high quality, the price is set high. Dejected, you just shrugged. “I mean- I find it adorable…”

You look at the price again and wince. “…but no I don’t want it that much. "that's a lie. You’d fucking sell your soul for it. “it’s getting late, we should go home.”

Aqua stays silent. You walk a few steps before you notice that he’s not following you. looking back, you see him staring at the plushie for a second too long- then walking right towards you. silence takes over the walk back home, and though it was a comforting one, you didn’t want the hang out to end without you thanking him. yet your words came to a halt as you heard a ‘CLANG!!!’ only a few feet away from you. both of your movements came to a halt, quickly locating where the sound has come from, and seeing a group of teenagers, all dressed in leather jackets, fight off in the dead of night.

“oh shit.” Was your first response, seeing some blonde beat the shit out of a brunette kid. “are they like- a gang?—” you look at it with more curiosity, your eyes widened as you saw a familiar bastard getting his guts punched. “—that’s the guy from the café!”

No response. in a fearful instinct, you quickly shift your head to see if Aqua is even here or not. Much to your relief, he was, yet, there was something different about him. he no longer looked calm, or perplexed as he often does. Rather, his pupils were blown wide, and the white shiny star you saw the whole evening was gone once more. His posture seemed tense- shaking a bit even. He looks at something across the road, and he finally speaks.

“there are multiple bikes over there there. it must be theirs.” Oh, so they’re a bike gang. You wanted to take a glance at the bikes too- yet the sudden shout of pain from the brutal fight stole your attention. You could see specks of blood now. You gulped.

“should we call—“ a sudden strong grip takes your wrist. You flinched, looking at the perpetrator being an extremely different Aqua from who you’ve shared cotton candy with only hours ago. He looks at you with furrowed brows, and eyes you could only describe as vicious. As if he was ready to pounce on someone and rip them apart. You feel your breath shorten a bit, an uncomfortable weight set on your shoulders, and your wrist going red from the sheer grip he has on it, like handcuffs made of the heaviest metal.

“Y/n,” your name comes out of his mouth like a threat, his tone like a demand. “ we have to go. Now.” He doesn’t even let you reply. Doesn’t even let you take one more pause before leaving. He drags you away to an alleyway, empty and much more horrifying than the gang fight you just witnessed. You try to keep your cool, though your heart is beating up a storm and your mind is screaming for you to escape. Aqua Hoshino looks different. He feels different. His grip, with the gentle palm of his, feels like death itself. You could see your wrist bruising, and could feel your eyes tearing up. his eyes are cold. In the past, they’ve merely looked dead. As if he was repressing everything he felt. But it’s not the same here, rather, his feelings here are as clear as day, the feelings of malice and distrust, dark thoughts that you can’t guess the concept of. You feel sick, and you’re not sure why. It’s still Aqua- right? He's just being paranoid…right? why does this feel awfully familiar? Why does his footsteps give you a sense of déjà vu?

You didn’t like that thought. Hell, you didn’t like thinking about anything right now. You gulped, hoping it would dim down your fear, yet it only increased it.

“Aqua.” your voice shakes a bit and you hiss. “Aqua—I think we’re far enough now-“

Nothing. No answer, not even a hum like always. The only thing you get is mutters too whispered for you to comprehend it's words. Which only fueled more of your fear. “Aqua please—“ you try to stop your legs from moving, yet he dragged your wrist, making you yelp from the sudden pain. “fucking hell Aqua—“

“Aqua!” you put all your strength to come to a halt, and you try shake your wrist away from his grip. Fear takes over your mind when you find no escape from it.

He seems to be in a trance, too in his own mind to even hear your pleads. You felt like you lost- and when he tries to drag you to walk faster- the grip practically ripping your wrist apart- you couldn't help but scream.

“Stop it! “

All walking and scraping comes to a halt. Your wrist is freed, and you give a cry of relief as you pull your hand close and rub the newly purple bruise. You find yourself gasping for air- as if you've been holding back breaths this entire time, and the drums of your heart is so loud, you didn’t realize you were practically shaking from fear. You think for a moment- desperately trying to process what the ever loading fuck has just happened moments prior. And the throbbing pain from your wrist wasn't helping.

You hear a shift- a scrape on the pavement and look up to see Aqua.

His breathing has become ragged, his form shaken up. as if he has witnessed a scene from his nightmares, his eyes are widened and lost. His mouth is shaking, as if he’s desperately trying to form words, yet his mind was so muddled, he couldn’t even bring his voice out. he looks at you with such immense guilt, glances at his own palms with such horror. You almost forget the horrid pain in your wrists. Almost.

“…what the fuck was that?!” your voice shakes. You wanted to kick something- wanted to lay down somewhere and sob- you wanted to punch him in the gut- fucking hell. “what the fuck was that?” you didn’t mean to repeat the question, but your feelings were so out of spiral, your heart couldn’t help it.

Aqua shakes even more.

“Shit.” Aqua Hoshino, kindest guy you’ve known up until now, swears. ”Shit!” he repeats in a cry. He reels in a breath, but he still shakes. he brings him palms up to his face, trying to hide his broken down expression. But, no amount of palms can hide the glossy tears that you see slipping down the pavement.

Shit.

Your mind is in complete and utter chaos now. You’re so confused, yet you don’t even want answers anymore, in fear of what they could even be. You don’t say anything. You can’t bring yourself to. all you can do is watch as the ever-so-calm and poised Aquamarine Hoshino breaks down. You wonder if you should comfort him. your wrist flashes a screaming pain in protest. You purse your lips and hold back a grunt.

“I’m sosorry- I-I didn’t mean to,” his hands come down from his face, revealing to you the absolute sheer panic he’s in. eyes like needles- with his starry on pupil darker and smaller than it ever was. Wrinkles all etched up on his nose with brows furrowed in shame. “Fuck, I'm sorry. I-I messed up.” this was so insane. This was too weird. Too out of character for him. never in your life have you heard this man stutter, or even have such a shaky and broken voice. In a second, your mind wonders if this is all some weird dream. Despite that thought, the cool air of fall shivers down your spine and devastatingly reminds you that this, in fact, is reality. Aqua just bruised your wrist and now is breaking down at the back of an alleyway.

He takes a step close to you. his breathing hitches when you take a step back. he looks at you as if you're the one who hurt him, as if this is more painful to him than it was to you. “Y/n,” your name comes out so softly now. Barely even a whisper. A complete contrast to the brutal one from before. It’s like he has two sides- it’s as if he has a bottle full of emotions he kept shut tight, and now one by one, they’re all spilling out with no stop. “I’m— I’m so sorry,” he repeats through tears. ”I didn’t mean to..!” he hiccupped. He hiccupped. “ I just—….I thought—“ he breaks down again. Exhaustion takes over your mind. You conclude that for tonight, he is obviously not ready to express anything. His mind is warped up with thoughts- memories and ideas that you wish you could see for yourself.so, you do what he has done for you. you walk up to him. your frown was shrouded in disappointment, of a ruined night and a bruising pain, yet your eyes were full of sympathy. You know this was hard for him. apart of you, the softest part of you, knew he didn’t mean to hurt you. though your wrist and mind were practically begging you to quickly leave him, you listened to your heart, like you’ve always had. You bring your hands up to his teary face, and clean the droplets away. he stays still in shock, then fully leans into your touch. He keeps crying, and soon notices the bruise on your wrist, on the very palm he's leaning in. you don't know how, or even why, but he, as gentle as ever, takes your hand by the fingertips, and pulls your hands a bit up, then, gently gives kisses to your bruised wrists as he repeats ‘sorry’.

You, really, really don’t know what to say. You can’t even comprehend if you’re horrified or flustered. Your crush is kissing your wrists, it should be a rejuvenating moment- yet it’s the very wrist he bruised up, the very wrist he kept dragging as if there was a bomb behind you. you merely hitch a breath, letting him do what he can in the disarray he's in. this is all just confusing to him, you try to reason. He’s never had such waves of emotions go through him before, he’s not thinking straight. That’s all.

No matter how much you try to excuse, try to reason or try to process even the smallest second of this strange situation, there’s the inkling of doubt slowly becoming deeper.

You let him sob, and you let him affectionately kiss your wrist better, but you can’t bring yourself to be lovestruck by this. Something feels wrong. Something feels hidden. You want to think deeper about it- but god damn it- the soft kisses are so distracting. They’re so enchanting- he looks straight out of a romance manga. And the soft touches is slowly making you forget the hellish grip he had on you- the strength he secretly bares.

-----

You didn’t really talk to Aqua after this.

Sure, he walked you into the apartment and you bid goodbyes. But that was it. no text, no see you, no nothing. You couldn’t bring yourself to even look at him anymore, afraid you’ll see another Aqua again. Someone different from the real Aqua you knew, and the stoic one you’ve come to see when he's with others. you fear you’ll see the dead Aqua. the vicious one who frets over your safety as if you’re a delicate glass. You've come to wish you’d never see that dead set eyes of his again. You can’t think much about what has conspired. Your mind pretty much blocked out everything, and urged you to just close your bedroom door shut and sink deeper into your bed.

Though, Aqua did try to speak. He did try to text, to call, hell even knocked on your door and asked if he could come in. but you never texted back, never accepted the call nor let him in. you didn’t want to see him, unsure of how much you can handle looking at his eyes without remembering the wincing pain or the hot tears that were on your fingertips. You didn’t process it yet, didn’t give yourself the time to pause and think. Only distracted yourself with the song he urged you to work on. you felt a bit confident for what you've done, realizing you did have some sort of power in your strange relationship, that you’re not completely helpless and prone to get hurt in his very in need of therapy tantrums- but on the other hand- you felt like a completely monster. You let this man show his most vulnerable sides to you, you let him cry on your shoulder, as he let you. but now you’re shutting off all contact with him? you sound like a wacked witch who basks in everyone else's despair. Who only used Aqua for their own ends. You couldn’t handle the guilt, and so you didn’t think about his constant offers to talk to you either- you just worked, slept, ate, and went through it all over again. Only opening your doors at the latest of nights, the girls rarely even saw you come out of your room. Ruby and Memcho took it as you probably having a squabble with Aqua, but Arima, the ever so intelligent and observant, seemed to notice something deeper than that.

Anytime Aqua knocked on your door, it was quickly replaced with Kana confronting him on what happened. She doesn't have that shy tone she always did when around Aqua, and you were almost certain that she didn’t have that soft gaze either. Not with how loud and accusing her voice is through the door. She keeps demanding for an answer, constantly blocking the oath between your door and him, telling him to either explain the situation or stop forcing you to let him in. Aqua always answered the same, he’s not sure if you’re comfortable with everyone knowing, so he won’t share anything either.

You banged your head on your pillow and screamed into it with full rage.

Multiple problems, zero solutions and endless self-hatred. This was becoming unbearable. Not even your most favored hobby, the very thing you made a career out of, is helping you cope through this. Your favorite movies have become dull distasteful garbage you don’t want to see ever again. Your skills have become an amateur's- a complete parody of the song you intended to write. You feel immensely empty, and the constant sleeping has made your head feel heavy, and even sleepier than before.

You really need to talk to Aqua.

But you don't want to talk to Aqua.

But you miss him

But you're scared of him.

You scream into your pillow again.

You can’t get the scene out of your head- the crying, the kisses, the bloody gang fight happening a few feet away- though some dialogue feels blurry, every face of anguish Aqua had is in highest quality in your head.

You can’t even upload the song you were working on anymore- you realized how the tone keeps shifting- from solemn quiet to a hyper song- then quickly into one of jumbled chaos- the lyrics re in no good shape either. They look like lyrics from different song genres all copy and pasted into one draft. You can’t even comprehend what you were trying to write here. A dreadful, slow knock echoes through your door. You don’t have to think twice to know who it was.

“…Y/n, I know you’re mad at me. and I don’t blame you.” his tone made your gut churn in grief. You couldn’t think straight anymore- what were you supposed to do? you still haven’t decided on a thing. You don’t know if you should forgive him, or be the one who asks for it. you wait for him to talk more, count the seconds before Arima barges in the halls and demands Aqua for at least a small clue on what happened. But nothing came. Not even a noise, nor a muttered chatter. The only thing you hear was a sigh, and small shuffling on the ground. After, it was footsteps, each one quieter than the last.

You see a small shadow still looming over the creeks of your door. You try to dig up a few memories- a few personality traits of Aqua’s to guess what it could be behind that door, and if it's worth opening the door for. Your heart stops in a moment of realization, the shadow of a top hat making your frown deepen, and your stomach drop in more pounds of nausea and pity. You wish you could throw up, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You’re ever-so confused, and when you open the door and see the small little Kaito plushie you could feel your eyes water up a bit.

“goddamn it Aqua.” you muttered. Upon inspecting it more, you see a little note inside his pocket, one you don’t remember being there at all. you take it out, fix up the crumble and take a deep breath when you see the words written within it.

Fuck it. you made up your mind. You heard the gate door below you being closed, so with a panic, you rush out of the house, ignoring every confused grunt and question thrown at you by the idols. You put your shoes on as if they’re sandals, you don’t wait for the elevator, and rather run down the stairs as if it were a slide. You hurriedly open the gate door and shut it with a bang.

“AQUA! WAIT!”

the figure merely a few feet away from you stood there frozen. Just like the night before.

Drip drip

Cold little specks of water startled you both. You glance up, realizing the grey mood the sky has been in as well. drip drip, it came down like a song. A beat that soon turned into a melody, small little taps becoming loud serenades and soaking you both.

Aqua turns around to look back at you, but his gaze never meets your eyes. “ we should go back in- we can talk there!” he shouted, walking up to you. “ you’re going to get a cold with the clothes you’re wearing.”

Huh? What's the problem with your- oh, right. one look down and you can see your shirt was completely drenched, and your pants were not warm enough either. A shiver ran down, the cold water now sinking into your body.

“No. we can’t.” yet, you deny it. you stop him from going farther away from you and closer to the entrance. You make him look right into your eyes. “we can’t talk there. it’ll be awkward with the team around.”

“you’d rather stay out in the rain with your pajamas rather than facing some small embarrassing tension?”

“yes.”

He gave a huff, a small laugh that eased a small bit of tension that was between you two. But the amusement died down quicker than a flash, and you were both just staring at each other, waiting for the other to speak.

With the rain acting as your white noise, you collected your thoughts and spoke. “Aqua— I’m so sorry-“ your voice breaks. “you- you had a breakdown right in front of me and I just- I just closed the door at you. I’m so sorry.” you don’t let him cut you off, you grab him by the shoulders, urging him to stay quiet and just listen. “ I got scared, because I didn’t know what to do. I-I got stuck- I kept thinking that whatever I do, it won’t be enough. It won’t help you properly. And I wasn’t sure if I was mad at you for the bruise or-“ Aqua’s face flinched to a pained one from that sentence. “ –I was mad at myself for not saying anything when we got back to the apartment. You don’t have to apologize for the bruise. You..uh..you already did do that right after…so..”

You awaited his response. awaited the insulting words or disappointed tone you’ll get for the cruelty you’ve done to him. but that didn’t come. “Y/n,” how does he always charm you with that soft voice of his? How has he never considered becoming an Idol? For the first time in days, he gazes right into your eyes, making your heart beat quicken. Shining so bright, and so full of sorrow and guilt, his expression was not like one of a prince, nor a bad boy. But a human’s. this was the real Aqua Hoshino speaking to you. with the crinkled up muscles on top of his nose, the mouth with a frown one wouldn’t see on a hot guy’s face in a romcom, and a voice unable to be recorded in studios. “why are you the one apologizing?” he almost laugh, it comes out as a scoff. “ I thought you were going to tell me to never see you again- I-…“ he got quiet, ad just like that night, his thoughts seemed to be quicker than his voice. Quicker than the words that were trying to come out from his mouth. “…I though you were just ghosting me because you were mad at me- yet here you were thinking you’re the one who should apologize?” you can’t describe his expression. it looked like one of lovestruck and guilt, of amazement and amusement, sorrow and sarcasm. “ why are you apologizing? I’m the one who ruined the night.” He sighs, one that comes out like a puff of cloud in the cold rain. “ I don’t know what happened that night. I don’t know why I just-…I....just-…”

“blew up?”

He winced. “yeah, blew up.” he repeated, confirming it to himself.

“Well…” you take his hand in yours, hoping it would provide comfort in the truth bullets you’ll shoot. “Maybe…it’s because you keep constantly bottling up your emotions- and you’ve been doing it for a very long time- and that night when everything was quite overwhelming- your mental stability kinda..couldn’t..handle it anymore?”

He looks at you with horror, as if you’ve just uncovered a murderous secret. A quiet moment passes, and you hope you hadn’t misread and offended him- Aqua chuckled.

“ it’s..really funny.” You looked at him confused, unsure of what that comment even meant. “I mean, scary how you can read people so well..yet you thought I was going to hate you from now on.” you started getting flustered, yet he continued. “ I don’t think I’d ever hate you.” it’s as if a switched has flipped within him- a switch that always clicks to the other side when he's with you. it’s out of his control. His feelings for you is too much for him to handle and organize, and bottle up with the others. it always bursts out, and with it, other feelings stick to them like glue to get out too. “ every time I’m with you..I feel comfortable. I feel happy. I feel like I can be myself for once.” He’s looking at you, however, his mind seemed to be somewhere else. Somewhere deep within his heart, trying to articulate and put his feelings to words. “ that night…I got scared. I kept thinking that those guys were going to hurt you…or that-“ something in his eyes shift. “maybe they were the stalker. I didn’t want them to hurt you and I didn’t want you to get scared..but in the end,” his eyebrows scrunch up in hate. “I ended up ruining the night all by myself.”

“well- I wouldn't say you ruined the whole night…”

“please don’t lie.” He grumbled.

“I’m not lying! I still had a lot of fun.” You squeeze his hand, a sign of reassurance. “ those moments I had with you at the amusement park? Better than any birthday I ever had. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

He’s quiet for a moment, squeezing your intertwined hand multiple times like a heartbeat. “me neither.”

You dare to inch a little closer, look at his eyes a bit deeper, get lost in it’s blinding blue. The blue never reminded you of the sea nor the sky. With the very star laid in it’s right iris, it rather reminded you of a galaxy. An infinite space of beauty. Despite the rain being a nuisance on various aspects- you will thank it for one thing- the dampness that Aqua’s hair has faced- the way the strands stick close and an inch away from his eyes, how they fit perfectly with the stage right inside his starry pupil, it makes him look perfect. It reminds you that Aqua is a real person, not an ice prince, or a robot who would yelp at the sight of rain and malfunction. He's not the Aqua he intends to be, but he is the Aqua you’ve grown to adore…that you've grown to…

“Can I say something crazy?”

“you’re in the rain in your pajamas.” He remarked. “ I think you’ve already reached that level.”

“these are not pajamas, rich boy.” You retorted. “these are casual clothes.”

“I’m not a rich kid.”

“your mom owns an entire agency-“

“well-“

“you’re an actor.”

“not-“

“you have multiple fan clubs dedicated to you, have you seen the accounts that come up in twitter when you search your name?”

“..No,” he smirked. “have you?”

Caught in your argument, you choked on your words. “N-no! of course not!- I’m just very unfortunate enough to have them pop up in my for you page since I follow you.”

“…Y/n.”

“yeah?”

“I don’t have twitter.”

SHIT.

Bamboozled and befuddled, and not to mention, stuck in your own tom-foolery, you couldn’t handle the embarrassment and hid your face in his chest. An action of which he gave a hearty laugh too through the shivering cold.

“I won.” He takes his hands out of yours. Before you could grumble about the lost warmth, he wraps his hands around your waist, bringing you closer.

“no you didn’t.” there was no way you were backing down. “ your sister’s also an idol.so by all means, you’re a full on rich kid.”

“don’t use my skills on me, love.” Love. Oh god, the old-school nickname is making your heart skip a beat.

You don’t say anything back, your tongue twisted in shock. All you could do was look at Aqua in the same lovestruck way he was looking at you.

“So what were you going to say?”

You shrug and roll your eyes, but your excitement is apparent, and you weren't really known to be a good actor. “forget it, the moment’s ruined.”

“I’ll tell everyone else that you secretly follow my fanclub’s page.”

“you wouldn’t.”

“I very much would.”

“fine.” You clicked your tongue, shoulders having a bit shakiness in them as you gaze up right into his eyes, head only mere millimeters away from yours.

“I think I like you.” it comes out in a blur, and you’re left to falter with an explanation. “like….a lot.”

The rain wouldn’t stop. It just grew heavier by the second. you’d think the rain would make you two get shelter at some point, but your bodies didn’t comply to the cold. For you, it was warm enough in his embrace.

“I think I love you.” he mumbles. Your hand gets out of his grasp and lays softly on his cheek. Unsure of what to do other than lean into your palm, Aqua, in a fit of passion, quickly asks-

“can I kiss you?”

In a swift second, you close the gap. His clutch around you tightens a bit in pure giddy, and you wrap your arms around his neck in an instant. Warmth was spread all over your body, his cold lips from the weather were still as soft as a cloud and as sweet as a sugarplum. You could feel him smiling in the kiss. You could feel your body jittering up in happiness as the tip toes of your shoes tap the pavement. The warmth he provided, the love he poured, everything he did and everything he is, you adore. You wish you could say I love you back, but your lips were too preoccupied smiling and giggling between kisses with him. there was no shrilling cold, no tapping rain or soaking shirts. it was just you and Aqua, trying to show your love within every kiss.

-----

“HAHA!” a victorious and ever so notorious laugh comes out of Ruby Hoshino. Meanwhile, a very sad Memcho rummages through her pocket for some money. “ I knew they’d kiss! Woah- they’re- they’re not stopping-“ she looks at the scene almost horrified. “uh…ok no this is gross now.”

“ah let them be, it’s young love, after all.” Memcho put the hundred yen on the counter. Soon though, she hissed at her own words. “god..I sound like a thirty year old wine mom…”

“wait- they kissed?! What the hell?!” Arima Kana has been frantic all week. From her almost-kidnapped- friend looking very worse for wear, to her ex-crush acting much colder than before to anyone else- all while her almost-kidnapped-friend came home late with a bruise on their wrist- she was certain things ended really badly between the two. Disastrously, even. All while the two wouldn’t say a thing to her- especially the almost-kidnapped friend whom finally opened up a bit- and she thought the two of them were now one step-closer to a deeper friendship, a strong bond that will last even after she announces her leave with the B-Komachi team.

“told you they'd kiss.” Ruby said, full of pride. “ I’ve been living with Aqua for years. It was obvious that he’s lovestruck.”

Arima didn’t retort anything back. she only looked down at the giddy composer whose surely about to get a cold in worry. Something was up. something felt wrong. Rather than bearing slight jealousy and an urge to tease the newly couple, she only feels danger. A calm before a storm. Something about the gaze Y/n had when they came home late, the way they didn’t ramble on lovestruck like she thought they would. The way Aqua’s words started feeling empty, and his expressions becoming fake. Being an actor has a sort of kinship, a sort of understanding between the community. You can easily decipher when someone’s lying, and can easily understand when a fellow co-worker is acting.

At first, she thought that Aqua was simply acting like a charmer just to make you stick to the team like glue. Quite scummy if you ask her, and admittedly, a very Aqua Hoshino-thing to do. yet, there is something different in the way he acts around you. it’s…a different method. He’s not pulling out words and feelings that are in truth, empty promises and white lies. Rather, he’s hiding a deeper agenda. A deeper agenda she can’t understand. What’s even worse is how happy he looks underneath the rain with you. truly happy. As if there was no lying to begin with, merely a boy trying to act ‘cool’ in front of his school crush.

But something felt wrong.

She cannot point fingers, and she cannot blame anything. But she knows deep in her gut that something is awfully fishy about this. Something feels planned, fabricated. The stalker, the gang fight, the plushie with a note right on your door, it all felt too romantic to be true. Too thought-out. if she were in Aqua’s position, if she were to take on the role of Aquamarine Hoshino in a play, when her beloved would be threatened by a kidnapping or death, wouldn’t she do the Aqua-centric action, and become overly-protective? Wouldn’t she try to live with the group, or give daily visits just to check on her crush, rather than visit every week-end and make them crave her presence? She would’ve quickly gotten her nose deep into the stalker case, and find every strand of hair and fingerprint she could of the culprit, not nonchalantly tell the beloved to go outside with her tonight, on a very busy day, with all kinds of people, and then have the bad-luck get stuck in a gang-fight.

Aqua is hiding something, Aqua isn’t acting like the Aqua she knows, the Aqua she observed and studied for a time. The deeply kind and protective teen who acts like a cold prince with a warm heart. What she fears most, what she hopes isn’t the slightest bit true, is that all of this was intentional.

She frowns. Memcho thinks it’s because she’s tremendously jealous, Ruby thinks it’s because she’s doesn’t have that much luck with boys. But the truth is, she’s just worried for her friend.

She hopes her worries are just for naught.

----

Morning cuddles, pecks on the forehead and ice cream on a winter night. That is how you’d describe what being Aqua’s lover feels like.

Though Arima was highly opposed to him starting to live in the apartment with you all, you still convince him to stay longer than intended, wait for the rain to stop or the bustling streets to get a little less crowdy and oh- would you look at that! It’s midnight! Surely, you can’t go out right now, can you? oh well, sorry Kana. He has to stay for the night. Whoops.

Aqua cuddles with you like it’s the last time he’ll see you. his grip on you is comfortably tight, as if he’s pleading for you to not leave the bed before he wakes up. he’ll never admit this, of course. He’d only excuse it and just say he must’ve had a bad dream, or maybe he wasn’t really acting in a conscious matter. The blush on his face always debunk such excuses.

What you like most about such mornings, is how messy Aqua looks with his bed hair. Strands of blonde tosseled around and tangled in different knots, it takes all of your self-control to not run your hand through them and give him soft pecks to wake him up. you knew he had work today, he needs all the sleep he can get.

Aqua grumbles in his sleep, his voice gruffier than usual. He delves deeper into the blankets, finding solace in the crook of your neck. An action that made you hold back a shocked yelp.

If Aqua was the one laying beside you all the time, you wouldn’t ever try to avoid sleeping. With him, you feel fuzzy, his presence is one of a gentle spring warmth, calming and never harsh on your skin like summers’ warmth is. You feel safe around him, you feel at peace. He seems to understand you so well, you can’t help but just be yourself around him and not feel as if you need to be polite or responsible in a situation. You only wish he feels the same way around you.

With how peacefully he sleeps on your bed, how easily he banters with you or whines and complains about a task he must do, you can proudly (and reassuringly to yourself) say that he is. There’s an understanding between you two, a mutual love and respect for who you are. No one knows that Aqua secretly loves much older games like Sonic the Hedgehog, the very first one- or how he doesn’t understand certain memes and gen Z humor, but he’s too afraid to ask someone about it due to not wanting to be called a ‘boomer’. But you know that. You are the one he confides in about such things. Something about that makes your heart swell in pride.

Sure, not everything was completely perfect. There are times where Aqua’s actions seem more possessive than they are worried. These days, after months of no intel on the stalker situation, you slowly tried to socialize again and meet=up with some old friends. It was both for hanging out and for tutoring sessions, since you’ve been falling behind a little from your studies. When telling Aqua, something in his posture shifted, his eyebrows furrowed the slightest bit as he listened intently on what you have to say.

He interrogated you as if you were a suspect in a murder case. questions about where you were going, what time and what place, and strangest of all, who will be there and who has ha d a as crush on you. you didn’t understand why he was so serious about this, but you figured it was perhaps because he was still iffy about the stalker business, and since he doesn’t know these people he's unsure if he can trust them or not. However, you told him, you know them, and you’re certain none of them would be the stalker, just as you are certain he wasn’t the stalker, either. Therefore, there is no need to worry about that.

Aqua didn’t say anything back. once again, your gut begged you to rethink things over, but you’re so happy, you’re so content, there was no way you’d let this overthinking gimmick ruin your moments with Aqua, so you set them aside, like you have been for the past months.

Besides, it’s impossible for him to be the stalker. He was the one who saved you from the culprit. He was a witness rather than a suspect. A vicitm, even. If there’s anyone you should be suspicious of, Aqua is far from it.

You quickly grumble, hiding your face into Aqua’s shoulders. No no no- do not overthink this. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. You’re fine. You’re happy.

There’s no need to worry anymore.

You hear a loud serenades of bang and chatter happening outside of your door, then it hits you. today was your turn to make breakfast. If you don’t get up now, you’ll be facing an extremely hungry pair of stars and a harsh scolding from their kindhearted yet strong-faced leader. The temptation of staying in bed and given proper warmth and love by Aqua was immense, but you had a responsibility. With a sigh, you let your body bid goodbye to the fluffy bed, all while giving Aqua small little pecks on his face, a common action you both do when the other needs to leave.

“H-Oomph!”

You try to scooch up, to finally leave the bed and answer to the hungry cries of the idols, yet a pair of arms drags you down again. Aqua brings you closer than ever, giving a peck on your forehead.

“Aqua,” your sleepy voice gives you a drawl. You try to clear your throat before you speak again. “ Ruby’s going to kill you and me if you don’t let me make pancakes.”

Aqua’s first response was to grumble. “she’s sixteen. She can handle making pancakes on her own.” You rolled your eyes, yet gave in and snuggled deeper into his embrace.

“but it’s my turn.” You still argued, even though the drowsiness was making your head slowly lull into a deep sleep. “ and you don’t like the way she makes it.”

Aqua’s face scrunches up. “what made you think I’m going to eat her cavity-filled monstrosity of a pancake?” he huffed. “ I’ll just make us breakfast. Five more minutes, ok?”

“but- it’s my turn. Don’t you think it’s a bit unfair that you have to do it?”

He gives you a glance. “do you wanna do it?”

“obviously not.”

He looks at you dumbfounded. “then why are you insisting on this?”

“because it’s unfair if I make you do it when it’s my turn.” You whined, the guilt and procrastinator sides of you now at war.

You hear Aqua chuckle, making you look up and meet his soft gaze. “I’m your boyfriend. It’s normal for me to make breakfast for you.”

Your eyes squint. “ stop trying to rizz me up, Hoshino. We’re already dating.”

Aqua snorts, shifting a bit and poking your cheek. “I’m not ‘rizzing you up’” he repeats like an old man. As if he’s a grandfather desperately trying to fit in with the teens. “I’m just doing what I love.”

You tilt your head. “cooking?”

“no.” he snickered. “spending time with you.”

“oh my god. You’re doing it again. Stop it.” despite your words, your heart was hammering in your chest. “I’ve been your partner for two months, pretty boy. “

“why can’t you just accept that I love doing things for you?”

“because I want to do things for you too.”

“you being here with me is enough.”

“why must you sound exactly like the sappy fanfics they write about you?”

“Oh, so you read them?”

You fall silent. Aqua chortles a laugh, slowly sliding out of the bed.

“don’t worry, I’m actually quite flattered.”

“shut upppp.” You groaned into the pillow. Now only wanting to rot and cease to exist. The embarrassment is unbearable, yet Aqua still gazes at you with adoration. He takes a breath, and soon his lovestruck faces turns into one of annoyance, the smell of syrup filled pancakes invading his nostrils.

“let’s go cook together then, before Ruby gives us all diabetes.”

---

“are you sure everything is fine?”

It was the hundredth time she was asking you this. The hundredth, in merely this week. If you had to count in the other occasions she’s done this, it’d be up to millions.

“Kana, listen-“ you stop your tracks, your school bag feeling heavy from all the piles of homework and worksheets given to you due to your constant absence from class in the past months. “ I appreciate your concern, I really do- but seriously, everything is going great with Aqua. “ you figured she might be the most frazzled from your relationship, since she was the one most concerned for you after the carnival fiasco. “ frankly, it never could’ve been better.”

Kana’s expression falters. Switching between you and your now healed wrist. She stays silent in the rest of your walk, but her stare is relentless. You try to ignore it, especially when you see Aqua in the distance, whom had to leave school early for work, and now was here with a bag of groceries to pick you both up. Ruby got a bad cold from the sudden shift in summer to fall weather, and Memcho was in home streaming a new game that just dropped. you see Aqua waving at you, so you hurry your steps so you could reach and tackle him into a hug, yet a hold on your wrist stops you, immediately giving you bitter flashbacks. Yet, the grip, is much softer, less violent than what you remember. Her hands are smoother, and her eyes are filled with much more concern. Aqua’s stare, on that bitter night, seemed more like bloodlust than anything. Seemed like he was holding back, like he was on the brink of a violent melt down. Kana’s was different. Much different. It made you stare at her with confused silence, an apprehension evident in your eyes.

“l-listen.” She looks away ashamed, tugging her hair back, an action she often does when she's under pressure. “ I-I know I’m the last person you’d like to hear this from…given my past crush on Aqua…but—“ you wanted to refute that, to assure her that you hold no grudge against her over such a thing- but your mouth stayed closed, memory lane holding you in a vice grip.

“something off. Something’s wrong. Aqua…he’s not acting like himself these days.” Kana stressed. “ I mean- he looks normal yeah- but please, think about it. why on earth would take you to a crowded, loud place after you were almost kidnapped? What’d he do if you suddenly got lost? Or you disappeared? Isn’t it weird for him to pick such a place?” her eyes suddenly widened. “a-and think about what you told me! about the stalker being a part of the staff, remember? I think you’re right, Y/n. you were absolutely right about that. And I think Aqua knows this too- but-“

-“you guys ok?”

Kana flinches, her face is by all means horrified, as is she’s seen a ghost. She quickly let’s go of your hand, and her expression shifts from horror to dismissive and bossy, a casual look for Aqua to receive from her.

Despite her face screaming horror merely a few moments ago, her voice is as relaxed as ever. “ Hm? What, can’t let us have a girl talk now?” she grumbles, starting to walk away and giving a light punch on Aqua’s shoulder. “ learn to be patient, Hoshino!”

Aqua mumbles an apology, even if it was obvious from his tone that he wasn’t much sincere about it. he doesn’t follow her, and you don’t either, too caught up with a doubtful heart and a mess of a mind. The whole atmosphere shifted too quicky- far too quickly for your mind to process and for your heart to feel. It’s like you’ve blinked once, a storm appeared and then when you blinked twice, it was the same sunny and rogue fall.

“hey, you ok?” Aqua’s voice barely registers in your head. Concerned, he places a hand on your shoulder, one which you flinch at, and he quickly disregards it. his slightly hurt stare breaks your heart.

“ah, sorry— Kana uh…she…” your bag suddenly felt heavy. Aqua’s blue eyes didn’t shine with the brilliance you’ve once perceived, rather, it seemed to be prying, looking deep inside your soul for any sort of suspicious activity. You gulped. “ um- she just told me some jerk in my class secretly liked me.” you try to laugh it off, try to act like it’s the truth. But you’ve never been the best actor, Aqua knows that very well.

“oh? alright then.” His voice reeks of layers. The relaxed tone is but a cover-up for something else entirely. Something you’re completely unsure of, and now, with the horrifying small dots clicking together one by one, something you’re completely and utterly horrified of.

‘but it can’t be true.’ Your heart reasoned. ‘at least, not entirely true. He may have have just wanted what’s best for you mentally. And he knew a sociable place was best!! Yeah…yeah. He knew. He was careful. He…he should’ve been careful. He is careful. He wouldn’t have taken you there in the first place if he wasn't certain nothing would happen.’ You listened, you listened wholeheartedly and calmed your own queries and worries. You look at Aqua apologetically, grabbing his hand and urging him to forget it and walk back home.

“you sure she hasn’t said anything…weird?”

Aqua’s hand squeezes yours, he’s waiting for reassurance.

“ No, she’s just worried for me, that’s all.” you squeezed back.

For whatever reason, the grip Aqua had on your hand felt a bit more tight after those words.

-----

Darkly lit room has become your norm for the night. Your eyes were too bothered by the laptop’s luminescent light to handle the lamps’ and your hands were too fixated on clicking away to even bother thinking about flipping a light switch.

The tune in your ears have become a bit repetitive, the song was almost near finish. Only a few more things, a few more polish, and you were set to publish. However, something was holding you back.

Art, in any form it is, always, in whatever ways, hurts the artist. By all means, any form of art is a fucking pain to perfect. Normal people often believe that the talent of ‘creation’ is gifted to people, handed on a silver platter with no hard-work whatsoever. Just like intelligence. Unfortunately or not, that is not the case. Even Da Vinci had his bad art days, even he started out bad, barely able to sketch anything but a stick figure. Art is like a sport. You must train it, understand it and fathom it to get to where you want to be. You must trip and fall and bleed till you ache, you must lose a few tournaments, all to reach the goal of satisfaction, the goal of improvement. One must truly love art if they want to continue it. it is why so many people find their skills being called ‘natural talent’ so offensive. There is no such thing as natural talent. There is only love in what one does, and that love is often mistaken for the latter.

There is only one way up in art. Practice. Which, upon first view, it seems quite easy, however, it’s actually, quite frankly, fucking painful.

Which is what leads you to your current dilemma. The common ‘is this good enough? Am I good enough? Is my entire being even worthy of life?’ thought coursing through your very bones and blood like a marching band. You hate what you’re listening to, but you cannot bring yourself to delete. You’ve spent too much on this, your mind will start sobbing and breaking apart if you think of re-editing even one more line in the second verse. You’re losing your entire mind, and you’re questioning your very skills. Skills that you find to be utter useless flammable garbage. You’d say you want to die, but with what you’re creating, you’re certain that you’re not even worthy of such a sweet release—

“you look like a psychopath.” Aqua quickly takes off your headphones, leaving you to give him an offended look- as if he just insulted your pet and called them ugly. He does not falter. He looks at you with stern. “ if you don’t take a break, I'd have to call the ambulance. C’mon now, get up. “ your tired hands fly up to him for a fight, even if your body is as slow as a zombie’s.”No- Y/n stop trying to steal the headphone from me-“ he lifts his arms up as high as he can, earning a few rambles of ‘no’ from you. “trust me, you need one.”

“no, I need a good song.” Was all your energy-drink fueled mouth could spring out. “ I promised myself to not get up from this seat until I get this over with!”

“you’ve been sitting here for ten hours.”

“just one more.” You plead. “one more hour- hell even just thirty minutes and I promise I’ll go to bed.” You quickly look at yourself in the mirror and scowl. “and take a shower.”

Aqua’s expression reeks of worry, with a tinge bit of disappointment. He glances at the screen, his eyebrows even scrunching up more now. “this looks finished. Why on earth would you need one more hour?”

“how would you know it’s finished?” your tired, exhausted and sleep-needed voice made you sound annoyed, but it was a sincere question, one more laid around curiosity than malice.

“I’ve seen you work before. This format looks similar to your other finished products.” He speaks as if that was normal. As if he didn’t confess to the strangest action.

“hold on—“ even in your tired state, your mind caught on quick. “you watch me while I work?”

“yeah?” he questions, as if you’re the weird one for bringing that up. “always thought you looked cute focused. I couldn’t helped but glance at what you’re working on.”

You couldn’t help the giddiness you felt, the mental pressure to keep up a cool image was long gone with your doziness. Though- it’s never even there to begin with when you’re with Aqua- you feel awfully comfortable with him these days. To the point where you’re fine showing him the awful work state you’re in- with little to nothing attractive about you at the moment.

“god Aqua, you’re weird.” You laughed. “but..it’s a sweet kind of weird- still weird- but you’re the one doing it- so.. it’s..kind of like- since I like you so much, I find it lovely?” you didn’t even know what you were talking about anymore. Exhaustion was getting the best of you for sure. “ like- it’s also so reassuring- I mean-“ god, you really need sleep. Your bed is beckoning you to slumber. “ you always seem so normal and perfect. It’s nice to know even you have some weird qualities.”

“observing the one’s you love is weird?” was of course his question. oh god, you love him so much.

“I mean— in some people’s book, yeah. It’s weird.”

Aqua’s lips falter a bit. “..do you find it weird?”

Your mind, too sleep rendered to process the tonal shift, answers truthfully. “well— I guess for me it depends on the person— like- if it’s some stranger I’d be freaked out. but..it’s you. so, I find it really sweet,actually.”

Aqua’s posture relaxes, as if a giant weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He sighs, one of relief or drowsiness? You’re not sure. All you know is that he keeps gazing at you so softly, you wonder how lucky you’ve gotten at landing such a handsome blondie as your lover. You- the composer who reeks of hamburgers and syrup induced caffeine-

Aqua suddenly laughs. “You’re talking aloud, Y/n.” shit. Well, this is embarrassing. With a groan of shame, you hide your face and cringe, all while Aqua tries to convince you to get up for bed.

You’re unsure of how, your brain’s comprehension of the conversation all muddled, but you get coerced into falling asleep, Aqua’s smooth voice becoming your siren.

----

A café runs through chitter and chatter, the often small town with no crowds have become awfully occupied these past few days, each and every one of the people are classmates you’[ve know for years or people you’ve met in parties and hallways- all huddled up together in a small café known for serving tired and half-dead university students.

After years of ripping your hair out, biting your teeth and hating every second of the subject you had to study, you and your fellow classmates have finally graduate Tokyo Medical School and Dental University- a thing your parents constantly mention in every party they're in- speaking about how it’s always been your dream- even though it wasn’t- actually, it was their dream for you, and you, ever desperate to seek their love and approval, did everything in your power to appease them, all for them to boast about amongst your aunts.

You drink your tea-bag cheap tea, afraid of spending money with the tight budget you’re on. moreover, you never really liked the food quality served here anyway. The cake always seemed a bit too dry, and their milkshakes were always made with no quantity control- each serving becoming either too sweet or too solid to be called a milkshake.

In your haze of thoughts, your fingers tap on the table, your mind hazing to find a nice rhythm to go with the café’s ambiance, a certain song intro for all the slice of life stories that were made here. the song in your mind quickly vanishes with your friends, far away in the other side of the café start calling you to join them for a game of charades- with nothing better to do- and also- out of your own instincts in what you assume is a dream sequence completely out of your control- to real to be a dream- one could say- but it was also too far away from your own reality to be called a memory in your life- you get up from your seat, plastic cup still in hand as you make your way to the group, only to stumble upon a block on your road and fall head-first into the chest of an unknown man and his red sweater- a sweater of which, is now stained by your tea.

“oh shit shit! Shit I’m so sorry! Wait here- I’ll help you dry it-” you quickly grab tissues from the cashier counter and quickly trying to damage control the already ruined sweater, guilt now eating you up from the inside out. “god I’m so sorry- the whole sweater is ruined now-“

“it’s fine-“ the man, whom now you look up to see, is none other than Gorou Amamiya, the top student in your class known for his quiet attitude. “ I hated this sweater anyway.”

You look at him with a rose brow. “ don’t you wear this everyday?”

He gazes away. “it was getting old, wanted to get a new one for a while now.”

“oh- then let me buy one for you! it’s the least I can do-“ your eyes widen up for a moment ands you take off your coat, giving it to a very confused Gorou. “Take this with you too, I heard it’s going to rain soon. This should keep you warm.”

“…thank you.” his voice was toned down, genuine sincerity within it. “ but you really don’t have to. I don’t mind rain.”

“and let the genius in our campus get a cold?” you scoffed. “there’s no way I’m letting that happen.”

“..I’m not a genius.” He looks away embarrassed. “I’m just good at studying.”

“if you were just good at studying, then you wouldn’t have been the top student in our class!” you give him a playful punch in the shoulder. “ stop selling yourself so short, Doctor Amayima.”

He gives an embarrassed scoff, hand going up to his face to hide his bashful smile. “please, just call me Gorou. “

----

You wake up to sniffles in the morning.

It’s small at first, barely even a whisper. Your mind easily disregarded them as a shifting of a bedsheet or shuffle of your kaito plushie. Then, it started getting slightly bit louder. Still, your hazy sleepy brain tried to think nothing of it, but then- it happened- the hiccup- the very same one of that unforgettable night rung through your ears, making your heartbeat peak with panic and your body jolt awake from no alarm beside it.

Your eyes shift in the night, cracks of dawn can barely be seen- but the specks of white on your windowsill assure you that it’s almost morning- and through all the empty cans and bundles of wires sits a sobbing Aqua, a headphone, your headphone, placed on his ears with the light of your laptop shining on them. His eyes, widened up and seeming hurt, were glued to the screen, unwavering in their stare. His brows kept furrowing from one position to another- either shocked or hurt. He looked just like the night you always fear to remember- although there is a stark difference. He looks much softer, his gaze more of a broken boy’s than a protective lover’s. the sligh horrified harshness he had in his eyes were gone here, leaving a gaze full of nostalgia and painful memories in it’s wake.

You shift out of the bed- now slowly awaking your conscious and clearing your throat- slowly trudging towards your boyfriend. You reach out for his shoulder, as gently as you ever could, but he quickly shook franticly and swiftly turned around to meet your gaze, horrified by being caught. “you scared me-“ he quickly muttered. Still overwhelmed, he slowly takes off his headphones and tries to rub the waterworks out of his eyes. He wouldn’t look at you, perhaps still afraid of you seeing him in such vulnerable states, so in a moment of confidence, you takes his hands away from his face and cup his cheek, drying his tears.

“you ok?” was your first question. he took some time analyzing your face before answering.

“…I’m fine.”

“then why were you crying?”

The question could’ve been a harsh slap to the back with how he reacted. It was a question he wasn’t content answering, it seemed. You grew concerned and self-conscious. “you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to—“

“your song,” he started, mind drifted somewhere else. “ it…well..” often, you wouldn’t see Aqua so lost in what to say. If he had nothing of noteworthy to speak of, he wouldn’t speak at all. but, you’re now well aqquinted with seeing Aqua act differently with you then how he does in the public eye. you wouldn’t be surprised if he picked up this habit from you, even. You wait for his reply as he collects his thoughts and takes a deep breath. “ ..it feels..nostalgic. have you..thought of somewhere-or something specific when writing this song?”

You’re taken aback, considering the question for a few seconds of hums before answering with a shrug. “I don’t know.” you huffed. “ honestly, most of my personal songs are just- thoughts and feelings that have been stuck in my head in a long time.” You give him a smile, your tone getting the slightest bit chipper as you try to ease the mood and distract him from whatever bad thought he has. “often, I get these tunes after a good night’s sleep. It’s like they come to me in dreams. “

To that, Aqua’s prolonged avoidance of eye-contact suddenly breaks. “dreams?” he repeated more to himself than you. “what kind, exactly?”

“Pervert.”

“Wait no I-“ his posture slouched as you snorted. “ you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“you brought this on to yourself!” you jokingly reasoned. “ and for your information- no. it was not a spicy dream.”

“Spicy? You call wet dreams spicy?”

You fall embarrassed. “Well- saying spicy makes it funnier!” you reasoned.

“ you’re embarrassed of saying wet dreams, aren’t you?”

“No.”

“then say it.”

“….”

This time, it was Aqua’s turn to snicker. To be amused thoroughly and hopefully enough- forget about his breakdown for a moment and calm his worries.

“how do you always leave me so tongue tied?” with crossed arms, you tried to change the subject.

“you’re easy to provoke, you always feel embarrassed over the littlest things.”

“not true.”

He gives you a doubtful stare, you scoff and falter.

“okay, maybe it’s slightly true. But you’re overexaggerating it.”

“you’re too insecure for your own good.” He speaks like a disappointed mentor, giving a glance at the monitor before looking back at you again.

“ well, the insecurity is what helps me succeed.”

He frowned, a posture of his shifting from the few moments of relaxation to one of slight frustration. “ or perhaps, it’s what’s holding you back all the time.”

“okay, first of all, ouch.” You sit down on the bed, your mind coming to the conclusion that there’ll most likely be no sleep for you tonight. “second, if I’m not satisfied with a song then what’s the point of releasing it? if I don’t like it, then obviously my fans won’t either.”

He stays quiet for a moment, sitting in different positions on the computer chair, as if there’s a prick behind his back not letting him lean in and relax. His eyes were deep in inquisitive thought as he speaks once more. “ if it were any other song, I’d agree with you,” he looks right back at you now, with eyes shining with such vibrant sincerity you held back a shocked hum. “but this song? My god, Y/n, you need to post this now.”

“y-you sure? I mean- I think it needs a bit more polish-“

“no, no. don’t add anything else to it, right now, as it is, it’s one of the most heartfelt and genuine songs I’ve ever heard.” He looks back at the monitor, and in his mind, he echoes the song in his head, the little vocaloid voice singing the lyrics and tugging at his heartstrings. “ when I hear it…I feel awfully nostalgic. I feel at home. It’s like you wrote this from the heart.” He looks back at you so softly, you could feel your heart race from his gentle, ever so small smile. “this is the best song I’ve ever heard, love.”

“…even better than Ai’s star-fell sweetheart solo you always listen to?”

His eyes glow in sharp determination. “even better than her entire album.”

-------

To you, Aqua Hoshino was often like an old man- he acts as if he’s in his forties. He doesn’t partake in new video games, yet he knows an awful lot about the classics. He knows an insane amount of golden era 90s to 2000s singers, his whole playlist is either just the great idol Ai’s song or such songs in said categories, there is no in-between. He insists on putting wooden cup trays on the table, even if barely anyone uses them anymore- and to you, most amusing of all, he barely understands gen Z humor, the very generation he’s apart of. Often, you tell him that he may be young, but he has an old soul. He never really replies to that joke, but he doesn’t seem to be annoyed by it either. It was more of a ‘deep in thought’, one could say. Aqua looked like a charming prince to the media, a quiet man to his friends, and to you, he was a dork who takes his actions a bit too seriously, at time, but he had a heart of gold. All he wants is for his loved ones to live on happily, and all he does is to achieve that very goal. Even in acting, though he never tells you his true reasoning for sticking to the art, you assume he’s doing it just so B-Komachi can get more eyes on them. After all, the actor brother and idol sister dynamic is something fans would always spam about on the internet constantly. You found too many sibling having matching Hoshino profiles, too many to count. Aqua's kindness knows no bounds, and that’s one of the many things you love about him.

Which, is why the very situation you’re observing has got you stuck in a web of thoughts, each more confused than the other.

While excitingly watching your song slowly blow up to fame from one view to the next, your enjoyment quickly dies down when you see how tense Kana seems, staring at Aqua with a shaky figure. Wasn’t she with Ruby visiting the Hoshino household just now? They must’ve come back when you were distracted with your laptop- you didn’t even hear the door close. But now, with your mind out of the excitement, you could hear Ruby speak and ramble on with Memcho about the Ai-exclusive bunny plushies she’s brought back from her house, and how it’s shocking how long this whole apartment and stalker issue is going.

However, their conversation was of no matter to you right now. Your current concern was how horrified Kana kept looking at Aqua. she's now batting an eye towards you- not even a single glance- it’s as if she’s in a trance, and she hasn’t realized you were in the room as well.

Your boyfriend didn’t seem to notice the burning stare, too caught up in reading ‘The Picture of Dorian Grey’ to even become aware of Ruby and Kana’s arrival, or so you thought.

“love?” Aqua calls out to you, quickly placing the book on his lap. “ can you tell Ruby that we’re not ordering from that bakery tonight? I’d rather not have her pout and fight me about it. she listens to you easily.” His head quickly shifts to see Kana, as if he's just been aware of her presence. Yet, Kana seems more furious than before. “ oh! Kana, I thought you were with the others. “ he slightly tilts his head in curious confusion. “why are you so quiet? It’s unlike you.”

The aura of the room has shifted to one of hostility, and you found yourself involuntarily gulping. “Kana…” you grew concerned. “you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Kana’s eyes get a flash of sympathy- right before it cutting back to her neutral face and determined smile. “I’m fine, you go convince Ruby, or else she’ll already call and order that expensive shortcake. “

You felt bamboozled, like an actor who forgot their lines at a play. They were both hiding something from you, it was evident from their five star actor smiles. You felt suspicion grow within you, and in a fit of doubt and worry, you say ‘one second’ before typing on your computer. For them, they’re assuming that you’ve just closed your google tabs on the view count for your new video, however, you opened the recorder and let your computer sit turned on and it’s screen away from their view as you got up and left in a hurry.

You felt a prickling, sick bundle of needles crawl up your arms and back. worry and fear, all mixed into one bag of confusion. Something was going on, you’re unsure what it is, but you’ll maybe, with the recording you’ll have, you’ll finally understand why Kana seems much more hostile to Aqua than before, and why Aqua seemingly ignores her at every turn.

You only hope the batteries in your laptop doesn’t die too soon.

----

“it’s with a heavy heart that I’m announcing my departure with B-Komachi. I have decided to focus more on my acting career, but I’ll never forget all the love and support and lovely memories I made while being on this team. I hope you keep on supporting me!”

Crowds cheer and the backstage staff whisper to each other in surprise. All while you are left alone with your cheap tea-bag tea in a cup, looking at the screens and seeing Kana’s kind face as she bows down in respect to the fans. Her departure with the team is not surprising, she spoke about it months ago before the stalker situation even erupted. However, the timing felt odd to you. it’s been weeks since her private talk with Aqua, one which disastrously enough, your laptop apparantly didn’t record it at all. but you swore you turned the recorder on- you even double checked to see the red button blaring before leaving the living room. nevertheless, whatever it was, it was the breaking point for Kana, and right after it, in the night she told everyone at dinner that she’ll be renouncing her role in the team at their next concert.

Something in your gut churned that night, your mind kept questioning every word that came out of her mouth, even Aqua’s support to her seemed somewhat off. Something was wrong, something has happened, and when in that night, you’ve privately asked Aqua what was their talk about, he pat your head and told you that there’s nothing to worry about. She was merely speaking about a new role coming up, and she has wanted him to partake in that series with her.

Liar.

Your tea was getting cold, and the bitter peach-scented taste you’ve often enjoyed tastes like absolute garbage now. It’s as if you’re missing an important clue- a key point in all this mess, a key that is buried deep within your psyche with all the other bad memories your mind never wishes to revisit.

“you ok there?” Aqua’s voice startled you.

“ how long were you standing there?” you joked, now leaving the cold tea on the table.

“not long, I was talking but you didn’t seem to be listening.”

“oh, sorry…I was just thinking.”

“about what?”

“nothing much.” You lied. “ I’m just really going to miss Kana.”

“We all will. “ he puts his hand on your shoulder. “ but this is best for her. She never liked Idol work that much anyway.”

“…I guess you’re right.” you didn’t continue further, leaving an awkward tension to engulf the room.

“..are you still mad about my talk with Kana?” Aqua’s face, though still in neutral form, has it’s frown deepen a bit. “I told you, there’s nothing to worry about. We just talked about an upcoming show.” He gives you a conflicted stare. “would I ever lie to you?”

“..no.” you think so, at least. Or rather- you hoped so. You held his hand and gave it a squeeze of reassurance. “don’t worry, I trust you. I’m just sad about her leaving, honest.” Your heart feels stabbed, your conscious berates you for lying to him like this. yet you remain quiet as you squeeze his hand in reassurance.

You’re too far into your thoughts to see something in his eyes shift- the often light star pupil of his becoming slightly grey for one split second.

“…right.”

------

“you sure you don’t need me to look for it?” Ms.Saitou stops the car as she looks at you. “ you really don’t have to go all the way yourself, you can just give me a description of what to find.”

“no no there’s no need really- I’ve already bothered you enough with driving me here.” you take off your seatbelt, giving a glance at the house belonged to your boyfriend’s family. “I’m sure I’ll find it by myself, it’s not the first time I was here.” that’s a lie, you’ve actually never visited Aqua’s house, your meet up spots were always the apartment or the grocery store next to both of your schools.

“sweetie, I'm a little worried about you being there all alone. I can just look for it later when my meeting's over-“ oh boy, though Ms.Saitou’s kindness was endearing, you really need to go there alone so you can investigate properly. It’s time to pull up the shame card.

“u-uh..Ms.Saitou- the item in praticualr..is um..” you tried your best to look flustered, avoiding her gaze and fidgeting with your fingers, your posture lowering a bit as an act of embarrassment. “well…you know.”

Fortunately, it seemed to have worked, since her eyes widened and she cleared her throat, a sheepish smile on her face as she looks away. “I see…well, carry on then. If you need someone to pick you up later I’m always one call away.”

“right, thank you.” you get out of the car, trudging your way to the house with an extra set of keys that were given to you. Yet before you open the door, a car honk stops you at your tracks. You look back at Saitou, whom still has the sheepish smile on her.

“and..uh, well I’m not sure if it’s been told to you yet, but please make sure to have protection at all times!”

You could feel the shame and cringe flood you- quickly giving her a strained smile and thanking her for the tip. Well, at least she cares. But, that is not your actual goal for coming here; nor did you and Aqua ever go that far anyway.

Your main goal is to find the truth- more specifically the truth on what Kana was speaking about. If your suspicions are true, Kana’s worry for you and the stalker and her conversation with Aqua are connected- and their conversation was nothing about the show- rather, perhaps, about an item or clue that Kana found within the Hoshino household while visiting it with Ruby. It’s just a hunch, but it’s a hunch you can’t possibly ignore anymore. Your doubts and worries have now overflown, to the point where you’re afraid it’ll negatively affect your relationship with Aqua. and for what it’s worth, you’re sure your worries are for naught, and it’s just your overthinking and anxiety being a douchebag to you.

The house is untouched, almost spotless. The only thing showing any signs of people living here in the past months is the bottle of alcohol on the counter, and the few coats lasying on a couch here and there. it’s obvious that Saitou loves alone her, with Aqua even starting to live in the apartment in spending more of his time in your room rather than his.

You scan the place, looking through cupboards and drawers for any sing of something suspicious. Yet find nothing of that sort. With a sigh, you decide that it’s best to go into Aqua’s room first.

His room was clad in walls of blue, a poster of Ai Hoshino right atop of his wall, making you smile a bit at his fanboy heart. The room had only a few things, a closet, a desk with books and his bed, a blue circular carpet on the ground and of course, a window with blue satin curtains on it to fit the atmosphere. On his walls you could see some small little scribbles and drawings he and Ruby must've left when they were children, the books on his table were all sorts of acting ones, and on the shelf on top of his table there was a collection of tapes, all old classic movies he often ranted to you about when you were both pulling all-nighters with a walk to the park. You take a step in, though your morality fought with you about the breaking of trust and privacy and the consequences that’ll come with it , Kana’s horrified eyes couldn’t leave your mind, her shaky voice echoed through your head and you instinctively searched his closet for any kind of clues.

Yet, there was nothing.

You take a few steps back,

*clack*

You falter. You look down at your feet. You kick the ground.

*clack!*

You quickly slide the carpet away, and on the wooden ground, you see a plank that is ever-so-slightly off-color with the others. you take it out, and what you see leaves seeds of fear in you to brew. A black box, you take it out and see there’s a lock with a password on it. shit.

You first try Aqua’s birthday, nothing of note happens. Then, you try Ruby's. still nothing. You try his mother’s, that doesn’t do anything either. You try even his Idol’s date of birth and death, it still keeps itself locked. With a sigh, you think for a new answer, and quickly, a creepy thought comes up in your mind.

Slowly, you put your birthday in.

The lock opens..

Ooooook you’re not sure if you have to find this romantic or scary, perhaps both? Nonetheless, you open the box with a panic, and what you see is a collection of burner phones and notepads.

You first take out the notepads, opening them and having your heart drop at the sight of a schedule. Your schedule, from day in and day out. whom you’ve met, whom you’ve passed and even which café’s and shops you’ve visited. All dating back to the third day you've joined Strawberry productions, and most importantly, all in Aqua’s clean handwriting.

You can feel your stomach churning in horror, a bundle of gasps and swears stuck down in your throat. You take a deep breath, even if it doesn’t do anything to calm your panicked heart. You open another notepad, seeing that it contains specific things about you, from your favorite color to favorite food, and even to what clothing stores you prefer buying clothes at. Holy shit, how did he even knew that one? You could’ve sworn you’ve never spoken about such things- even with B-Komachi. Unless he had an eye on your laptop screen on breaks, seeing which shopping websites you had open.

Your heart was breaking, piece by piece, little by little, with every more notepad you’ve opened and more information you’ve seen revolved around you, you can feel your perception of Aqua change. Aqua Hoshino, the man you love. The kind boy who puts on a façade of prince charming just so appease people, but is a dead-panned dork at heart, or maybe- that’s not who he is either. Perhaps he's been playing a game with you all this time as well. using you for his won means- maybe the same means on why he's still in acting. God, you fool. You utter fool. How could you think that a romantic kiss in the rain would fix anything, how could you even think that Aqua’s actions were even the slightest bit normal?

You take a look at the phones, and as you turn them on and put in your birthday as the password, you could only pray with shaky hands that they’re not what you assume they are. The phone turns on, only one contact is in the phone. It’s your number. Fuck.fuck fuck fuck fuck. In shock, with a shaky hesitant thump, you click the messages. the image of you crying, the very image that has been sent to you lays within there. you scroll up, realizing through your new tears that he is the very same stalker who messaged you that night. He is the stalker who haunted your nightmares, the one who constantly made you feel on edge and that you were about to die. Aqua Hoshino, the one who saved you that very night, was also the one who put you in danger. You couldn’t help it, you throw the phone on the ground and started sobbing, your heart couldn't handle the pain and your mind was messing with you by replaying sweet memories, seeing them slowly rot and become sour. Everything he has done, everything you have lost, it was all apart of some sick plan, for a goal completely unknown to you.

Shit shit- you need to call the police, you need to tell someone about this- you need to-

A prickling, cold, familiar sensation runs through you. eyes were watching you. you quickly turn around. But it’s too late, Aqua, with eyes as cold as ice, holds a heavy metal pan and looks at you with disappointment. As if he found you with a broken vase.

“this will be quick, love.”

Before you could run away, your quickly grabbed and hit in the head. A pang searing through you as you fall down, vision slowly getting more blurry by the second, a sympathetic Aqua soothing your head as your pain worsens and you fall to sleep.

---

Gorou Amayima was a simple man, with a simple dream.

Though, most of his dreams were fabricated and influenced by his want of approval from his guardians, he knows that deep down, he too wants to find true love and settle down with a family. After all, with the kind of grades and money he now possesses, he’s certain that he can live a simple , lovely life in a family of four, maybe even five if you include the pets. Yet, there was always one problems. There was no one out there that he loved so much, and he was sure there was no one out there that loved a normal guy like him. how could one have a ,loving family or a peaceful life for that matter, without love in there to begin with? Yes, Gorou Amayima’s dreams were nothing but impossible, so he quickly discarded such fantasies and focused on his studies instead.

That is, until he met you.

One accident with a sweater led to a friendship through summer- and that friendship has led to him realizing how much you both have in common, and how to him, you were endearing, you were interesting, you were lovable.

Sure, you had your faults just like anyone else did- yet, those faults of yours only made you more beautiful to his eyes, more real. He couldn’t help but fall for you, couldn’t help but feel energized whenever you were around. Your jokes, your laugh and even your frowns and pouts, each of them were ingrained in his mind and he would find himself doodling your face in his notebook more times than one.

You were always there for him, always hyped him up and were his cheerleader when he felt the most insecure. And when you finally started dating, the support never stopped. You moved in with him in Miyazaki, even if you could’ve easily found a good job in somewhere more busy like Tokyo. Everything was perfect, and for once- after years of ignoring his own needs and dreams- he genuinely considered marrying you, and then having a family with you. perhaps, you could even adopt a few kids who were abandoned in the hospital, giving them the love they deserve. Maybe even, you could finally get into your love for music, you could take piano classes from the old man in the neighborhood. Everything would go smoothly, everything felt right. for once, Gorou felt satisfied with his dull life.

However, like all good things, this one had to come to an end as well.

The biker gang was always a problem around here, he’s heard from past rumours and whispers that they often come to this place to lay low, and the police force around here isn’t strong enough to take them down. He knew they were big trouble, and he’s always warned you to not go outside without him or someone else alongside you, not until they leave. But oh, you were persistent. You kept persisting that your small trip to the shop in a busier city a few miles away won’t take long-and that nothing would happen to you, why would they even care about you?

You convinced him, he couldn’t say no to your pout, he let you go that day, and soon enough, as the rain fell and police lights blared the red and blue lights all over the road scene, a murder, a robbery-gone-wrong, with the gang member in question fleeing with all the money that was left in your purse- which was not much to begin with- since you spent most of it on a red sweater, a sweater with the very same color and shape as the one he’s met you the first day with. And bittersweetly enough, a handwritten note by you on that sweater, congratulating the anniversary of the day you met, the anniversary of your graduation. The world has become bleak once more, the dreams he had crushed and the love of his life gone because he failed to protect them, he failed to save you from this fate.

He thought that was the end of it, that your relationship was perhaps meant to end in a bitter tragedy.

Yet, it seems like gods above have given him a second chance, a second life to mend things with you.

A simple scroll around youtube, a simple search for some nice songs and inspirations for his role has led to him to hear a familiar tune- one you’d always hum while cooking- he froze for a moment, checking the playlist’s sources and finding your channel, a new artist on youtube making songs with vocaloids- he first thought nothing of it. but curiosity got the better of him. you were quite social on your platforms, though the information on your personal life was scattered- he knew from your business email you live somewhere near the same state he does- and soon enough, he got into work. He was unsure of why he was so desperate to see you, an artist he knows nothing about, yet their tunes awfully familiar. but anytime he thought of the songs, he could only see vivid memories of certain days with his past lover, the one that didn’t deserve the tragedy that has struck them.

His heart almost stopped when he first saw you

It was at first appalling- horrifying even, with no change in your appearance whatsoever- merely younger and in the same age as him as Aqua Hoshino- walking down the streets up to Strawberry Productions, a curious and nervous gleam in your eyes, the same gleam you had when you first met in that small café. It’s you, it’s really you. you have been reborn again, just like he was. but from what he realized during the interview, it seems like unlike Ruby and him, you don’t remember a single thing about your past. It’s no matter, because the truth was no obvious to him. the very reason of his rebirth and his chance in this world- was all so you two could have the life you’ve both always wanted, the life you've always deserved, unshackled by the expectations of legal guardians and others, able to do what you love, and be away from the dangers of the world. He just had to make sure that no harm ever comes to you, that in this life, you will live alongside him, and you’d grew old together. He'd do anything to keep you safe this time, and no amount of pouting or pleads from you could ever stop him from such a goal.

He wont let you die this time.

---

Cold. Thirsty. Hungry.

Those are your first upon waking up. your mind is in a complete haze, you feel like you’re in a crazy dream. Your body isn’t responding to you, every nerve slowly waking up one by one, yet not quick enough. Your vision comes back, and you find yourself in an abandoned hospital, one awfully familiar, yet you can’t pinpoint where you’ve seen it before. A tuft of blonde hair makes your body shake in fear.

“stay away from me!” you quickly scream, legs scrambling to crawl away, yet you find your hands tied behind your back, chained to a metal poll in on the wall. Aqua hisses at the shout, looking at you in a scolding manner.

“there’s no need to scream, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“bullshit!” you retort. “you’ve been lying to me all this time! You’re just fucking using me for some crazy scheme that involves your acting, aren’t you?”

Aqua’s eyes widened, in a horrifying manner that leaves his star pupil pitch black and his firsts clenched. He looks art you with gritted teeth, furrowed brows indicating maddening disbelief. “ Y/n,” he says your name in such a passionate manner, you could feel bitterness form in your tongue. “ surely, you’re not that dense. You’re smarter than this,” his expression shifts from shocked to hurt. “ you know me better than this. you know I’d never do such a thing. Not to you.”

His voice his shaky. He’s genuinely hurt by your words. You could only look at him in disbelief. “ I love you. I did this all for you. you wouldn’t mind me keeping an eye on you if it meant just wanting to know you more, would you?”

“Aqua, you weren’t ‘keeping an eye’ on me. you were stalking me.”

“but it brought us closer, hasn’t it?” he gives a loving smile, a fond and real one, as if he believe his own delusional words. “without that situation, you and I wouldn’t have gotten so close. You wouldn’t have opened up to me so easily.”

“so that’s it? you fucking stalked me and made me think I was going to get kidnapped just so I’d talk to you more?”

He’s quiet, only giving you a knowing look. The gears in your head turn and your heart drops.

“oh god…you did it because you wanted me to fall for you?”

“it worked, hadn’t it?”

“oh my god.” You cried. You banged your head to the wall. the dread you were feeling, all the lovely moments in your head flashing in your mind, all of them were leaving you to despair. “oh my fucking god- Aqua. this is insane. You’re being insane!”

“doll, do you really think you’d fall for me in normal circumstances?” he crouches down, palming your cheek and caressing it. the touch feels horrible on your skin, yet as you try to steer it away, he grabs your chin and makes you look at him. “ I know you. and I knew you’d be too introverted to ever fall or speak to me that quickly. You’re mindful of who to trust. It’s what's so endearing about you, but it’s also the thing that was holding us back.” he gives a solemn look. “trust me, when we both would’ve realized the spark, it would’ve been far too late.” He goes back to caressing your cheek again, all while you remain horrified and silent at his rambles. “that’s why I needed to take matters into my own hands, I needed to make sure that you’re safe and sound, and the only way to do that was to make a fake disruption that would guarantee your safety if any real disruptions do happen.” He feels his finger becomes wet, and he now sees the little tears that were almost overflowing your eyes. He coos as he rubs them away, you’re too scared to move, afraid that his grip on your face may become harsher to the point of break the bones on your skull. “love, there’s no need to cry. I only did this because I love you. I never meant for it to scar you as much as it did.”

You couldn’t help but sob now, fully knowing that he’s too far back in his delusions to listen to any of your reasonings. “please Y/n, don’t cry. This situation is only temporary.”

“w-what do you mean?”

“Well, when I’ve finally convinced you that I’m just doing what’s best for you, then, I’ll let you free from the ropes. I just need to make sure that you won’t hurt me or tell anyone about this.”

“You’re fucking crazy, you know that?” you sobbed. “This is not normal, Aqua. none of this is. Please, you need to let me go- I-“

He quickly puts both hands on your head, steering you to look deep in his eyes, obviously hurt by your sobs and screams of plead. “Don’t you understand?! Y/n…” he shakes, as if he’s about to cry too, trying to calm down his breathing as he firmly holds your head in place, and you couldn’t help but feel scared, terrified of the boy in front of you. “…please, don’t make this harder than it should be. I’m only doing this for your own good. I'm doing this because I love you. I don’t know how much clearer do I need to make this.” his voice shakes, drops of tears now staining your clothes. “ please, don't hate me. don’t be afraid of me. just love me like you always did.” His voice breaks. “please— just forget whatever you saw in my room- or at least know that I’ve done it all with the intention of keeping you safe when real danger does come.”

“w-what if this real danger is all in your head? Aqua- be reasonable-please. Who on earth would want to kill me of all people?” to that, something in his eyes shift. He becomes delusional, his eyes look almost static, he's lost in thoughts you couldn’t comprehend.

“….you’d be surprised on the amount of cruel people out there.” he mumbled, none of his words making sense to you at the moment. “…I’ve seen you die once, I won’t let it happen again.”

“w-what in the world are you talking about? I-I’m alive right now, aren't I? see? I’m safe, a-and I'm okay- so you can let me go now. Aqua, please, let me go.”

He only seemed to be listening to half of your words, mumbling to himself a bit. he smiled at you, looked at you as if you were the most precious object he could’ve ever obtained. “Yeah, Yeah. you’re safe now. Safe because I intervened rather than staying back. I wouldn’t make that mistake again, I swore to always protect you, I’m not planning to break that promise twice.”

“what?” arguing felt completely hopeless. You really didn’t know what to do anymore but sob. He coos at you once more, hugging you so tight as the rope around your wrists stung.

“don’t worry Y/n…I’ll set you free from the ropes when the time is right.” he holds you closer. “ when you finally give in.”

You gasped, crying out and trembling from fear, the very source of them hugging and whispering sweet nothings into your ear as if he isn’t a monster, as if he’s not the evil queen who tricked you into biting the apple. He is no prince charming, and he is no bad boy. He’s a psychopath whose delusional with the world around him, thinking that he is doing the right thing, when he's only making your worst nightmares come true. His kisses, now all over your face as an act of worship, feel cold and bitter, his hugs feel too tight and his words make you dread.

All this time, you thought you knew Aqua Hoshino to a T. but in fact, even around you, he was putting on a mask, and playing the part that would charm you most. Only to hit you in the head at curtain call and bring you to an unknown, abandoned hospital, to worship and love.

"I promise, you'll feel great here." his eyes quickly shine in slight amusement, he seemed to remember a key information. "oh, and don't worry about someone worrying about you being lost. I'm sure you know this by now, but the stalker case was never confirm to end, so with your disappearance, it'll be opened once more, and right before it, a certain gang member kept persisting to take you home, remember?"

you couldn't help but gasp, shock coursing through you as you can't do anything but cry and listen to his scheme as he holds you. holy shit, holy fuck. is as if he's planned every little thing from the very start- even Kana's suspicion towards him could've been planned for all you know.

"let it all out of your system, darling." he smiled, dark and victorious, knowing fully well he's won a game you didn't even know the rules of, let alone know that you were playing it. " don't worry, you'll feel way better after a good rest. " his head tilts up to the dirty walls, humming deep in thought. "Say, you wouldn't mind some decoration around here, would you? maybe I'll even buy you some books if you behave well enough. any sort of technology is out of the question though. can't have you contacting someone from outside now, can I?"

your mind was too hazed out to respond, only wishing that this was all a cruel and wicked dream.

----

A/n:

hi hi!!!! if you're readers from my other fics, yes hello I'm alive lmao. if you're new here, welcome! I hope you all enjoyed my writing!!! honestly, this is my first yandere fic. so I'm not sure how well it'll be perceived. there are certainly better fics out there, but I hadn't seen much content on yandere Aqua before writing this, so I decided to experiment a bit! low and behold, this oneshot took much MUCH longer than expected. I genuinely thought this would be 7 to 13k words tops, yet here we are. this is officially the longest chapter and oneshot I've ever wrote. oh! and also for the ending, well, I wanted to leave it a bit open, so you can choose whatever ending you'd like for reader's story. I have a few suggestions myself, one with reader escaping, or Kana saving them and kicking Aqua's ass like the girlboss she is- or perhaps, if you're looking for a sad one, maybe reader becoming completely brainwashed and utterly convinced by Aqua's words, maybe even being convinced to replace Kana in the team. nevertheless, the ending is up to you, if you want you can share your endings with me in the comments! it's always a complete and utter joy for me to read them!! <3333

now if you'll excuse me, I'll go break my back on school projects all while continuing to write for my silly fics, have a great week everyone!!!!

#Oshi no Ko #aqua hoshino #aquamarine Hoshino x reader #aqumarine hoshino #aqua hoshino x reader #oshi no ko x reader #onk x reader #onk aqua x reader #yandere aqua hoshino x reader #yandere aqua x reader #yandere x reader #x reader #reader insert #fanfiction #yandere aquamarine hoshino x reader

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starryevermore · 8 months

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the house of snow (3) ✧ coriolanus snow

the house of snow ✧ a royal coryo au | pinterest board| ao3

pairing: king!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

series summary: the king of panem is in search of a bride. and, for reasons you can never understand, coriolanus snow has set his sights on you. it would never be a happy marriage, you’re sure of that. but none of that matters, because when snow decides he wants something, he will do everything in his power to ensure it is his.

chapter summary: coriolanus will make you fall in love with him one way or another.

word count: 3,036

series warnings?: 18+ MINORS DNI, royal au, regency au, arranged marriage, rivals to lovers, obsessive!coryo, jealous!coryo, protective!coryo, eventual smut, eventual pregnancy, more tags to be added later

chapter warnings?: coryo’s pov, jealous!coryo, not proofread

You were absolutely infuriating. Everything about you got under Coriolanus’s skin, from the way you spoke to him, to how your face would change—grow harder, tenser—whenever you would look at him, to the way everyone else got the softer version of you while he was only left with the scraps of your attention. It was ridiculous, he thought, that anyone could ever make him like that. Even Miss Livia Cardew was more bearable than you. If he was saner, he would have called this entire thing off. To admit that courting you was a mistake and that you would not be the perfect Queen he knew you could be. But the less rational part of him itched at the idea of anyone—even his best friend—calling you their bride.

When Sejanus invited Coriolanus over for drinks one evening, he was tempted to turn the invitation down. When he thought of his friend, all he could picture was you wrapped up in Sejanus’s arms, letting him touch you in the way only Coriolanus should. If he saw Sejanus, he might hurt him in a way that would only make your intolerance for Coriolanus grow stronger. And yet, there were advantages to seeing his friend. He could gauge Sejanus’s own feelings for you, determine if he was as big a threat as Coriolanus thought him to be.

That was how Coriolanus ended up sat in the study of the Plinth Manor, watching as Sejanus poured a glass of posca for him.

“I hear your courtship is going well,” Sejanus said, handing the glass to Coriolanus. He sat it down on the table beside him. He wanted a clear mind for this. “Will the wedding bells be ringing soon?”

Ordinarily, Coriolanus would try have more tact when he was seeking information like this. But this was about you, and he never could think straight when it came to you.

“She would rather marry you.”

Sejanus looked up at him as he poured a glass for himself. He set the bottle to the side, then sank into the leather chair across from Coriolanus. “She is convinced you despise her.”

Coriolanus looked back to his glass of posca. Perhaps he should indulge in the drink. It would certainly be easier than this conversation. “She is equally convinced she could fall in love with you.”

Sejanus look a long drink. He set the glass down, a dull clink! being the only sound in the study. “Why does that bother you?”

His eyes narrowed as he looked back at Sejanus. Why was he not doing anything to assure Coriolanus that he was not interested in you? That he wouldn’t try to take away what belonged to Coriolanus? “She is to be my wife.”

“You have yet to propose. Anything could happen before then.”

Coriolanus’s heart rate quickened. No. Anything could not happen before then. He would leave now, go straight to your family home, and propose immediately—officially getting your father’s approval be damned. You were his. No one could stand in the way of that. He would not allow that to happen. “You want to marry her then?” he spat out.

Saying the words alone made him feel sick. The picture of you in Sejanus’s arms returned to the forefront of his mind. Now, though, it was clearer—you smiling, leaning into Sejanus; him, looking down at you, his affection clearly etched in his features. Coriolanus wished he could reach into his mind, rip out the picture, and smash it to bits.

“I did not say that, Coryo.” Sejanus’s tone was gentle, but it only served to enrage Coriolanus further.

“Then what are you saying?”

Sejanus stared at Coriolanus for what felt like an eternity, saying nothing. Anger continued to simmer under Coriolanus’s skin, so close to boiling over. Why couldn’t Sejanus just say what he meant? Why was he so intent on being cryptic, on getting on Coriolanus’s nerves?

“I just want to understand how you feel for her.”

“So you can take her from me?”

Sejanus sighed. “No, Coryo. You know I would not do anything to hurt you like that. But you are going to hurt her if you cannot figure out your feelings. Tell me, why does she think she could fall in love with me but not you?”

Because you are infuriating. Because you surprise him. Because you do everything you can to get under his skin. Because you occupy every part of his mind and he cannot stand that. “She said you are an easy person to love.”

Sejanus nodded. He was silent for a moment, mulling over Coriolanus’s words. Then, he said, “Ma is hosting a ball soon. Your future bride has already confirmed her attendance. Come, and give her a reason to fall for you.”

That, dear Sejanus, was easier said than done.

He was late, and Coriolanus hated being late. It would reflect poorly on him if he were to ever make it a habit. Though, you would likely think poorly of him regardless of what he did. Why were you like that? Why did you only see the horrible in him? Any other woman in the ton would fawn over him, delight themselves in the scraps of his attention. But you…He wasn’t sure. It felt like you could see into the depths of his soul and you despised what he was.

Despite your hatred for him, Coriolanus could not get you off of his mind. You consumed his every waking thought. You haunted each of his dreams. You were brilliant and quick and challenged him in ways no one else had ever dared to. You did not shy away from a challenge. That was something he always admired about you. Where others would be willing to concede that they weren’t going to agree, you would hold your ground. You would fight until your last breath. Coriolanus liked that you were firm in your convictions, even when it put you at odds with him. You were tenacious and clever and did not yield for anyone. Coriolanus valued that more than anything. And that was why he was going to do everything in his power to ensure you were his and his alone.

You refused to make it easy for him. It would not be enough, he knew, for you to be his wife in name alone. He wanted you to be as infatuated with him as he was with you. He wanted to consume your thoughts. He wanted to haunt each of your dreams. Coriolanus had hoped that he might be able to push off such pursuits until after you were his Queen. To convince your father to give you his hand was certainly an easier task. Coriolanus had been fine with the idea of you never falling in love with him. If anything, he might have admired that more. To be so resolute that you would refuse the best of the best…It was so absurd that it was almost charming. Now, though, that he knew that you had considered loving Sejanus…Oh, that itched at him. It made his skin crawl. Sejanus Plinth was not the perfect man for a woman such as yourself. Coriolanus was not sure that such a man existed, but he was sure that he was the closest thing to it.

Coriolanus would do anything to ensure that you never, ever, could be Lady Plinth. But he could not do that if he was late.

When he arrived at the Plinth Manor, the ball was in full swing. Upon entering the manor, he was directed to the ballroom. Many matchmaking Mamas tried to corner him while he was in search of you, seemingly convinced that he could be easily swayed by whatever daft woman they pushed in front of him. Were they blind? Did they not understand that he would not go to all this trouble with you if he was not absolutely certain you were the perfect Queen for him?

Finally, he spotted your father, who was his perhaps his best clue into finding you. Or, at least, it would stave off the Mamas.

“Your Majesty!” your father greeted when he saw Coriolanus approach the group of men he was speaking to. “I was beginning to think you might not show.”

Coriolanus’s jaw ticked. He was far from pleased with his late arrival, and he despised anyone who would point it out to him. He supposed, of course, that might be where you got it from—your willingness to call him out on every little thing. But where it was charming on you, it made him want to exile your father. “I would have arrived sooner had my coachman not been insistent that he knew a shortcut. The man might as well have taken me on a tour of the Capitol.”

Your father nodded sagely. “It is quite difficult to find good help these days, is it not?”

“Almost as difficult as finding a good bride,” Festus Creed said.

Coriolanus narrowed his eyes. How dare he! Was he making some remark about you? Something about how Coriolanus had yet to propose? Festus had a lot of audacity to think he could speak poorly of the King and his future bride and walk away unharmed. “Not for me.”

Festus’s eyes flicked to the dance floor. “Is that why she dances with another?”

Your father, too, seemed to grow frustrated with Festus. “If you are implying something about my daughter, I would suggest you hold your tongue before it is cut out.”

“Or worse,” Coriolanus said, following Festus’s gaze to the dance floor. He searched the crowd, trying to find you. Oh, why was it so hard to find you now? With all of the young ladies spinning around the floor, it was near impossible to differentiate one from the other.

“I would think that if she was to be wed to you, she would refrain from dancing with Sejanus, is all,” Festus continued.

Finally, with another clue, Coriolanus spotted you in the arms of his best friend. And, oh, how he saw red. Sejanus knew of Coriolanus’s worries that you might fall for his best friend, and yet he would do this to him? When had Sejanus become as audacious as Festus Creed?

As the dance neared its end, Coriolanus said, “If you’ll excuse me,” and began to approach you.

Sejanus, who stood a head taller than most people on the floor, spotted Coriolanus first. A smile stretched across his face as he lifted his hand to wave at Coriolanus. Coriolanus offered a tight-lipped smile. Appearances were important, and he knew that he could not afford to cause a scene here and now. If he did, he would risk pushing you even further away.

When Coriolanus reached you and Sejanus, he turned his full attention to you. If he kept his focus on you, he would not do something he might later regret.“You danced quite beautifully,” he said.

Your brows pinched together, like you were surprised he would compliment you. Huh. Wasn’t that interesting? If he knew that complimenting you would catch you off guard, he would have begun doing that ages ago. “Thank you, Your Majesty,” you said, your voice void of any emotion.

“Please, you can drop the formalities. Coriolanus is just fine.” He probably would have been pressing his luck if he tried to convince you to call him “Coryo.” Coriolanus would do for now, he supposed. Change cannot be easily accomplished in just a day.

“That would be inappropriate, Your Majesty,” you said. You looked away from him, looking at the crowd that had begun to gather around you now that Coriolanus had arrived. Even when he had made clear that he only had his sights set on you, everyone else thought they could distract him. “I should like some fresh air. Excuse me.”

“Ah, perfect. I shall escort you outside. I have a present for you waiting in my carriage.”

Your brows raised. “My, my. You are intent on ruining me, aren’t you?”

“Would I really be ruining you if I plan on marrying you regardless?” Coriolanus asked. When you said nothing, he added, “If you are so concerned, bring a chaperone. But, rest assured, I will not do anything untoward. I just have a present.”

Reluctantly, you agreed and went to find your mother. After you returned with her, he escorted you outside of the manor to his carriage. For a moment, he was concerned that Sejanus might follow him. It would not have been an issue per se, but Coriolanus was growing rather annoyed at Sejanus’s presence around you. Coriolanus wanted you for himself. If he could have it his way, he would forego moving so slowly to keep up appearances in society just so he could lock you away in the palace. He knew, though, that people would think that you allowed him to defile you and, thus, think poorly of you. And a Queen’s image should never reflect poorly on the King.

“Do I get a hint?” you asked as you held onto Coriolanus’s arm.

“Impatient little thing, hm?” he teased.

“For all I know, you could be ambushing me with a surprise wedding. An officiant could be waiting in the carriage.”

Coriolanus laughed. “When I marry you, I want everyone in Panem to see it. I want the entire kingdom to see the brilliant woman who will rule by my side.”

Behind him, your mother let out an aww. “Isn’t that so sweet?” she asked you.

“No.”

Sensing that your mother was going to snap at you, Coriolanus turned his head, narrowing his eyes at your mother. Immediately, her mouth closed. He turned his head back around, satisfied that she was learning to hold her tongue. Coriolanus hated the way your mother berated you. Did she not understand that everything she chastised you for were the very things he adored?

“Ah, here we are,” Coriolanus said when the carriage was only a few feet away. He motioned for the coachman to open the door. The coachman reached in and reemerged with a small cushion holding a fluffy, white kitten.

In an instant, you had let go of his arm, rushing to the kitten. You picked it up and brought the kitten close to your face, pressing a kiss to its nose. “Baby!” you cooed, pressing more kisses to the fur ball.

Pride surged through Coriolanus. He never thought that he could make you so happy with a single action like this. Perhaps he should listen to Sejanus’s advice more often. “I take it you like him then?”

“I love him!” you said. You looked up at him, a wide smile stretched across your face. Oh, what he would give to make you that happy again and again. The idea of you falling him, instead of Sejanus, suddenly felt far more tangible. He should do this more often. He couldn’t give you another kitten again, not so soon. But perhaps a book? Or maybe stationery supplies? He would have to think this over, figure out what he remembered you loving during your time at the Academy.

“What shall you name him?”

Your smile turned into a smirk. “Coriolanus.”

That was odd, referring to him by his name. Weren’t you just insisting that that would be inappropriate? Was a kitten really enough for you to change your mind? No, that couldn’t be. You were far too firm in your resolve to do something like that. Then what were you getting at?

“Yes?”

You giggled, a twinkle in your eye. “No. That’s his name. Coriolanus.”

Coriolanus’s (the human’s) jaw dropped. Well. He certainly hadn’t been expecting that. He had thought you might choose something sillier, like Fluffy or Snowball. There you go again, surprising him.

You held the kitten up to him. “He sort of looks like you, no?”

“You are positively unhinged,” Coriolanus (the human) said.

“Perhaps.” You began to cradle the kitten like a baby. For a flicker of a moment, he imagined you cradling your child—his child—in your arms. A boy, he thought, would be the first. Someone strong and capable of protecting the Snow family. Someone who would be a worthy heir. A girl, though, wouldn’t be horrible, either. One that had the same tenacity as you. Of course, that would be a far greater handful. “But are you not supposed to name a son after his father? At least one?”

Coriolanus (the human) laughed again. “Our son? It’s a cat.”

You stared at Coriolanus (the human) for a long moment. He began to think he might have offended you, might have ruined this moment. But then you smiled again, like you knew something he didn’t. “If you agree that Coriolanus is our first son, then I will behave. As much as I can, I mean.”

“You cannot blackmail the King—” your mother protested.

Ugh. Coriolanus (the human) had forgotten the daft woman was still there. He could not wait to marry you and never have to deal with her again. Perhaps he could send her off to some estate far, far from the Capitol so that he may never have to see her. You wouldn’t protest too much to it, he thought. You were hardly her biggest fan either.

“It is hardly blackmail!” you said.

He looked to your mother, then back to you. Well, as odd a situation as this was, there was no harm in humoring you. At least not when it might make you fall in line a little easier. He took a step closer to you, his arms wrapping around you. It would make a nice portrait, he thought. You in his arms, a child in yours. He added, “And it certainly is not blackmail when she wants me to acknowledge our son.”

You looked up at him, a soft smile on your face. You said nothing, but for him, you said enough. As much as you would try to protest and argue that Sejanus was an easier man to fall in love with, Coriolanus (the human) was sure that it would be just as easy to make you fall in love with him.

#the house of snow: a royal coryo au #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus snow x female reader #coriolanus snow x fem!reader #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow x y/n #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow fanfiction #coriolanus snow fan fiction #coriolanus snow fanfic #coriolanus snow fan fic #coriolanus snow fic #starrywrites #starryevermore

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ironboyxs · 1 year

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Night of the Broken Dragons

Fandom: House of the Dragon

Word count: 1869

Warnings: Reader is son of Rhaenyra and Daemon

pt2 here

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

- To my nephews, Jace and Luke, may they always be Strong.

It was with that speech that Aemond Targaryen ruined the entire family dinner, Y/N's brothers fought with his uncles while his father and mother tried to stop them.

Y/N could only watch Aemond from afar, wondering how much time he had wasted with his uncle, and how much he wanted to be there the night his younger brother removed his eye.

He always wondered if with his calmer spirit he could have calmed the situation, avoided the insults his brothers received, and perhaps avoided one of the great reasons for his uncle's hatred.

- Go to your room my love, you don't need to see this. - Daemon said in his son's ear.

Y/N knew in his heart, with a certain weight, that he was his father's favorite son. Technically he was the son of Laenor Velaryon, whom he greatly cherished and missed. But he knew that the reason his legitimacy had never been questioned was because his mother, in a meeting with Daemon after the wedding, conceived him.

He was the only "son" of Laenor Velaryon who had the blond hair and violet eyes, typical of the Targaryen house.

A soldier helped him get to his room, arriving at his quarters he kindly dismissed the maids who wanted to help him get ready for bed.

Despite being royalty, he had always liked simplicity and calm, his mother often called him her Meek Dragon.

A few knocks on the door echoed into the room and he could soon hear his mother's voice.

- Can I enter? - Rhaenyra asked.

- Of course mother.

The woman opened the door and came to meet her son, giving him a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

- I came to check if everything was okay with you, Daemon told me that you came to your quarters as soon as... the confusion started.

The princess's eyes grew a little heavy when she saw her son's sad expression.

- Will it always be like this? This endless fight? I miss when I was a kid and these things didn't matter.

- I'm sorry my love, families are complicated. And I know ours is especially complicated.

Y/N sighed, nodding with regret in his heart.

- Sometimes I think if I could do something to change this situation, I know I'm not the eldest child but I feel responsible for my brothers, I wish I could take care of them, have avoided this disaster that happened so many years ago.

Rhaenyra gave her son another hug.

- My dear meek dragon, I know that your heart has the purest intentions than any of us, but that ship was already predicted to sink long before your birth or the birth of your brothers. - Rhaenyra said while running her hand through her son's long silver hair - But I don't want you to worry about that, we'll be back home soon, you'll be able to go back to your normal routine and not be bothered by these matters.

With another kiss on her son's head, Rhaenyra said goodbye, wishing him good night.

Y/N was soon asleep, and a dream of a memory he still had hovered over his mind.

- Come on Aemond, the dragon cubs are still small! They won't hurt us - said a little Y/N to a younger version of Aemond.

The two children ventured to the part of the pit where the cubs were. Aemond always assuming a protective posture over his nephew, he still didn't have his dragon and he knew that his nephew already had one, but that wasn't enough reason for him to stop taking care of the safety of the beautiful young man with curious and excited eyes.

When they finally reached the baby dragons, only one was in sight where they could pet it.

- Are you sure it's safe? - Y/N asked, looking at his uncle with some fear.

- Yes, they are still easier to deal with. - Aemond replied as he affectionately approached the little dragon and stroked his head. - Come! He won't bite you.

Aemond took Y/N's hand and carefully guided him to the head of the small silver dragon, who seemed a little interested in both of them.

Y/N laughed and kissed his uncle on the cheek, who soon had a blush on his face with happiness.

- Thank you for coming with me. - Y/N said.

- One day it will just be me, you, and the dragons, my nephew.

Y/N has awakened. He was deeply sad that the dream was over, and he knew that it was one of the last good memories he had with Aemond.

He got up, already knowing that sleep would not accompany him for the rest of the night, put on warmer clothes and shoes and started to open the door, which was guarded by Sir Aric.

- Sir Aric, I'm sleepless and would like to take a walk through the palace gardens, would you mind accompanying me?

Y/N knew that the guard would go with him anyway, but he always thought that kindness could never be too much.

- Yes, my prince, it would be an honor.

The prince went out with his knight to walk through the night of the palace, with the lights low, and the gardens being lit only by the moon.

Not long after entering the garden, Y/N saw a figure with long silver hair, wearing a green cloak, sitting by the fountain, it was his uncle Aemond.

- Sir Aric, please wait for me at the entrance, I will talk to my uncle for a while.

- Are you sure, my prince? - The faithful knight asked.

- Yes, everything is fine.

Y/N slowly approached his uncle, sitting next to him, for a moment the two remained in an awkward silence, with only the noise of insects in the background.

- Couldn't you fall asleep either? - Y/N asked in a low tone of voice.

- Obviously not. - Aemond replied with disdain.

Another awkward silence fell between the two Targaryens but neither had the courage to move away from each other.

- Me, you, and the dragons... remember that? - It was Aemond who took the initiative to speak this time.

- As if I could forget... - Y/N said with regret in his voice.

- I was serious when I said that. - Aemond finally moved so he could look his nephew in the eyes.

- Lately I thought you had just decided to hate me. - Y/N said, now also looking into Aemond's eyes.

- I wanted to hate you, believe me I really wanted to hate you.

- Then why don't you hate it? Apparently it's so easy with my brothers.

- You know it's different with you.

- Why? Because I'm blonde and have violet eyes? Or because I didn't take part in that stupid fight you had when we were kids? - Y/N said, raising his voice.

- That stupid fight took my eye! -Aemond said, removing the eye patch and showing the jewel that was in the place where he also once had a violet eye.

- That fight took my best friend away from me... but I don't expect you to understand that.

Y/N began to deeply regret having approached his uncle, he didn't know why his calmness, always so constant around him, was disappearing, he began to withdraw from his presence when Aemond held him by the arm.

- Wait.

- For what? So we can exchange more childish insults as if we were ten years old?

Once again the little prince began to leave his uncle's presence.

- I need to tell you a secret - Aemond said in a muffled voice.

Y/N turned carefully, what could possibly be on Aemond's mind to share with him? Did he still have his trust?

- Y/N, there is something I have kept inside me for years, something I never dared to confess to anyone, not even myself. But tonight, with all these family conflicts, I feel like I can't keep this secret any longer.

Y/N, surprised, stares at Aemond, waiting for him to continue.

Aemond takes a deep breath and begins:

- Since we were children, from the moment I can remember, my heart has belonged to you, Y/N Targaryen. It's not a love that I chose, it's a love that just happened. And as much as I tried to deny it, repress it, and hide it, it only grew stronger every day.

Y/N is speechless, his eyes meeting Aemond's, full of emotion and uncertainty.

Aemond concludes:

- I don't expect you to feel the same way, and I understand the complications this brings to our family. But I needed you to know the truth, Y/N. My love for you is real and deep, and I can no longer hide it. I was serious that day in the dragon pit.

The two men remain silent, the weight of Aemond's confession hanging over them as the night breeze whispers through the trees of the castle gardens.

Y/N looks deeply into Aemond's eyes, his heart racing at his uncle's confession. After a moment of reflection, he finally answers truthfully:

- Aemond, I was not prepared to hear this tonight, and it takes me by surprise. But I value the courage you had in sharing your feelings with me. We are linked by blood and our complicated family history, and this confession just makes it more complex.

- I just don't want to feel rejected anymore.

Y/N listens to Aemond's words and realizes the deep pain in his uncle. He places his hand over Aemond's heart and says with empathy:

- Aemond, I understand what you're feeling, and the last thing I want is for you to feel rejected. You've always been an important part of my life, and I don't want that to change. Let's face this together, with care and respect one for the other.

Aemond looks at his nephew as if he were his whole world, and at that moment he was, nothing else mattered to him. Then in a rush he takes his nephew's lips for himself.

Aemond's kiss takes Y/N by surprise, but after the first moment of hesitation, Y/N allows his feelings to speak louder. Their lips meet in a kiss filled with emotion and desire, marking a new chapter in their lives.

Y/N feels a mixture of confusion and excitement, but also a deep connection with Aemond.

Aemond leans his nephews against one of the garden's stone walls and starts kissing his neck, knowing that in the morning those will be marks.

- Uncle... - Y/N moans.

- If you want me to stop, I will stop.

- No... uncle, I need you.

- You look beautiful begging but I don't want to take you here in the middle of the garden. May I accompany you to your quarters? - Aemond asks, excited about his love's correspondence.

-Yes. - Y/N responds, finally understanding all the times he felt incomplete, needing someone and never understanding why.

They had that night to themselves, nothing mattered, no family conflict, the succession of the throne, their parents, nothing mattered, they could deal with it later, but in that moment they would have each other and they would cling to it like one clings to life

#aemond targaryen x male reader #aemond targaryen x reader #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targeryan #daemon targaryen #gay #angst

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thebiggerbear · 9 months

Text

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - Alec McDowell Prompt Response

Summary: You're looking for a way to set yourself up and blend in after breaking out of Manticore. Having heard the rumors, you seek out Max for help. In doing so, you come across someone you had never thought you'd see again.

Pairing: Alec McDowell x Female!Reader; Alec McDowell x Female!Transgenic Reader

A/N: Prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting (#941). I have been in love with the world of Dark Angel and Alec ever since the show aired. To me, it's completely fascinating, and I really wish it had continued. (I was a big Malec fan back then btw; Lomax just wasn't my thing) There's so much to explore, especially with Max herself and how the transgenic community was going to move forward now that the public was aware of them. And of course, Joshua, OC, and Alec. Great stuff. Originally, I wasn't sure what scenario would best suit Alec based on this prompt line but I knew it would definitely be something that would apply to him. As far as It's A Wonderful Life, I was listening to the Christmas radio show they aired back in the 40's as I was outlining this one and the idea sort of came to life on its own. Hope this one's alright.

This is meant to take place mid-s2 and I did use events from the Berrisford Agenda episode (2x11) as inspiration for the beginning. 😉

Thanks to my beta @rieleatiel for her services. You rock, girl!

Warnings: implied violence; implied murder; mention of fatal injury; implied sex

Word Count: 8419

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187

Alec Taglist: @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx

This was recc'ed by @winchestergirl2 here.

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that."

Soldier Boy version ✨ Beau version ✨ Dean version ✨ Jenny version ✨ Jason version ✨ Tom version ✨ CJ version ✨ Rachel version ✨ Anael version ✨ SDV Leah version

You made your way into the bike messenger shop, glancing around despite the busy, distracting din. Rumor had it that a transgenic named Max had a sweet hookup here, something a fellow transgenic like yourself could use, being on the run and all. You could get a job, make money, and more importantly: blend in; not to mention it would teach you the layout of the city, the ins and outs, and provide you with legal documentation to let you past checkpoints in case Manticore ever came looking.

So far, you hadn’t spotted the dark brunette you had been told about, and you didn’t sense any of your kind here. While a few people either walked past you, giving you a once-over as they did or stood there staring, all of them appeared to be human. Everyone else was milling to and fro, and you wondered if perhaps you’d been given wrong information. It had happened before so you were used to it, but this one you had really been hoping would turn out to be true. You could use a lucky break.

A man was barking out orders to a group of messengers before they dispersed, and his eye landed on you once they did. “You need something, Missy-Miss?”

You assumed the crankpot was the boss so you carefully approached him. “Uh, yeah, I was looking for—”

You were interrupted by yells coming from your far left. Your head snapped in the direction of the sounds and your eyes widened at what you saw.

There was the transgenic X5-494 backed up against the lockers, holding his hands out in a ‘whoa’ manner and giving the women in front of him his most charming grin; by the looks of their faces, it wasn’t working. “Ladies, ladies. No need to fight.”

“You didn’t tell me you were already seeing Lena when you asked me out!” One woman seethed.

“He asked you out?” Another woman, who you assumed was Lena, demanded. “I bet it happened right after we slept together, didn’t it?”

“He slept with you?” A third woman blanched.

“Tell me you haven't been making the rounds through the entire company,” another woman scoffed in disgust.

You shook your head, watching the show. Typical 494. Even out here he was still getting himself into trouble. By the sounds of it, he more than deserved the wrath of the women he was currently faced with, but you were still taken aback by his sudden appearance. Just when you thought you’d never see him again…

Before you knew it, the older man you had been talking to made his way over. “Alright, break it up! Break it up!” He forced his way next to 494 and glared at the ladies. “Shouldn’t you be working? You want your paychecks? Packages need to be delivered on time. Get going.”

The women grumbled and began to disperse, glaring in both men’s direction. “You just wait until later, Alec! This isn’t over!” 494 gave them all a sheepish smile while the other man scowled.

“Okay, okay! You’ve got deliveries to make. Packages don’t deliver themselves so let’s go, keep it moving!”

By the time they had all left, 494’s smile dropped and he seemed to deflate, gratefully clapping the man’s shoulder. “Thanks. I think they were about to eat me alive,” he laughed.

“Not on my watch,” the other man promised. “How’re you feeling, champ? You okay?”

“Yeah, no, I’m good. Just, you know…” He gestured to where the women had disappeared and bugged his eyes before letting out a nervous chuckle.

“You should’ve let them take a swing at him,” a brunette woman suddenly threw at them as she approached her locker, which was near the two men. “It’s not like he didn’t deserve it.”

494 let out a huff. “Thanks, Max,” he mumbled.

That name caught your attention—so this was Max. It had surprised you to see 494 here of all places, but it made sense considering what X5-452 had set up here.

“Don’t be like that, Missy-Miss,” the older man warned the woman. “There’s no reason to have that kind of attitude.”

Max shook her head and discreetly rolled her eyes, zipping up her backpack. “So what have you got for me today, Normal?”

Normal held out two packages for her to take. “They need these by noon, not one second later.”

Max snatched the packages and nodded. 494 stepped closer to her. “I’ll come with you,” he insisted, still seeing some of the dirty looks he was receiving from girls coming to and fro.

She made a face at him which clearly said that wasn’t going to happen, and before she could voice that, Normal cleared his throat. “Not a bad idea. You could show him the ropes on that side of town and keep him from the estrogen mob looking to burn him at the stake. He’s got that raw animal charisma working and it’s causing trouble.” This time you made your own face of disgust. And this guy’s name was Normal? Far from it.

“Whatever,” Max snapped and shoved a package into 494’s chest, hard. She turned and was about to leave when you stepped forward.

“Max?” You called.

Her eyes snapped towards you as did 494’s and Normal’s. “Yeah?” She asked, seeming unsure.

You knew she was sensing who you really were just like you could sense her and 494 across the way, even if you hadn’t just been watching them. You ignored 494’s eyes widening at the sight of you and the sudden tension in his body, making your way closer. “I was wondering if we could have a word.”

Max’s brows furrowed and Normal glanced between you, holding up a finger. “No visitors at work, Miss. You know the rule: packages need to be there by noon. Make it quick.” He turned and walked away, completely uninterested in whatever conversation you two were about to have.

Max stepped over to you, studying you intently. “You know my name, but I don’t know yours. What do you want?”

494 was standing right next to her, his eyes never leaving you. The surprise was still evident in his expression along with something else you couldn’t quite put a name to.

You glanced around, making sure no one was paying attention to you, before turning and lifting your ponytail from your neck, letting her see the barcode tattoo you had. After a moment, you spun on your heel to find her appearing a little more receptive to what you had to say. “So, you got somewhere we can talk?”

She nodded and glanced over at 494 before inclining her head in a direction she expected you to follow her in. You obliged, your eyes briefly flickering to 494’s, before he followed both of you.

Once you were outside in a semi-private spot, Max turned to you, her arms crossed. “So, who are you really?”

“X5-498,” you answered.

Max glanced over at 494 before addressing you once again. “How long have you been on the run?”

“Since you destroyed the base and helped 494 escape.” You nodded in his direction. Yeah, maybe you were still a little bitter about that. 494 looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“I didn’t help him do anything,” Max insisted, her nose scrunching up in what appeared to be repulsion at the very idea.

494 ignored her and trained his gaze on you. “I thought you were dead.”

You smirked over at him and crossed your arms. “Sorry to disappoint.” You noticed his jaw tighten and his eyes narrow at the jab.

“You two know each other?” Max was looking between you but neither of you looked away from the other.

“She was my breeding partner,” 494 informed her.

Max’s eyes widened and turned on you. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah,” you agreed. “He wouldn’t have been my first choice, either.”

He snorted and the amused smirk you were more than familiar with began to appear on his face, yet he didn’t say a word.

“Oh-kay. That’s not super weird or anything.” She turned to 494. “You had more than one breeding partner? Were you Manticore’s stud horse or something?” She looked grossed out at the thought.

494’s eyes briefly flickered over to her. “498 and I were paired off long before you got there.”

“But then, if you were already paired off, why were you paired off with me, too?” Your gaze snapped to Max who looked genuinely confused for a moment before realization hit her. “Oh, right. It was all part of your big plan to get me to trust you so I could accidentally kill Logan. Got it.”

494 shrugged unapologetically. “Pretty much.” He turned back to you. “Renfro gave me the mission and told me if I didn’t succeed, then that’d be it for me. I was already on thin ice with them. So, she assigned me to you, Max, and I did what I had to do.”

“And he left me to die,” you supplied, gracing her with your smirk.

His jaw dropped before he closed his mouth and pressed his lips into a thin line. “I didn’t leave you there to die,” he protested.

“Leaving me there to burn to death constitutes as leaving me to die,” you countered. He glared at you but you ignored it. You noticed Max’s eyes constantly moving between the two of you and you decided you’d get to the point of why you were here. “452, I’m here because word on the street is that you have a way of helping fellow transgenics like yourself.” You motioned towards 494. “I was hoping you might be able to help me as well.”

She looked taken aback. “I don’t have anything set up like that. As a matter of fact, Alec here only got the job because of Normal’s weird worship of him.” 494 gave her a smug smile which made her roll her eyes. “But as far as other transgenics go, I don’t really have anything in place to help like you’re thinking. Sorry.”

You nodded, figuring as much. You thought it had been unlikely but you had hoped anyway. All you could do now was remain on the run until you could find a place where you could seamlessly blend in. “Thank you for your time.”

“Just hold up a sec,” 494 entreated you, but you ignored him.

You turned to leave when Max’s voice stopped you. “Wait.” You glanced back and found her watching you, compassion twinkling in her eyes. “Maybe there’s something we can do.” She quickly glanced at 494 who was giving her a look. Max rolled her eyes at him but lifted her chin when addressing you. “I wouldn’t put you with this one because it sounds like you’ve been punished enough already.”

494 shot her a glare to which she only smirked. You couldn’t help but smile yourself; perhaps you would like this 452 after all.

“But I think I have an idea of where you can stay. It’s temporary and you’d have a roommate, but we can see about getting you a job and getting you set up properly. Logan can help, too, with papers. If you’re serious and you plan to stay, that is.”

494 watched you intently. You thought it over for a moment. This proposal was better than anything you had going for you right now. Hell, you would have even stuck yourself with 494 again if it meant you’d have a place to sleep and something to eat, safe from Manticore for a while. You gave Max a nod. “Thank you.” To your surprise, 494 seemed to relax a bit at your response.

She smiled and turned, indicating you should follow. “You’ll be with Joshua for the time being. He’s pretty easy to get along with,” she assured you, her tone softening a bit. You could tell she was fond of the guy she was mentioning.

“Joshua?” You questioned, looking from her to 494.

494 stayed in step with you as you all made your way out onto the street. He shot you a smile as Max retrieved her bike. “You like dogs?”

Joshua did indeed turn out to be a decent roommate. He was kind and thoughtful and actually a little funny. Truthfully, you hadn’t been prepared to find a dogman as your new temporary roommate, but once you found out about his history, you found yourself feeling compassion for his situation. You were glad he had managed to escape the destruction of the base that night.

Max kept her word and set you up with a job as a bike messenger at Jam Pony (apparently a couple of the girls 494 had been involved with decided to up and quit for some strange reason), which gave you access to all of the legal documentation you’d need to get past certain checkpoints in the city. She’d introduced you to her friends Original Cyndi and Sketchy, who would also turn out to be your coworkers. Normal viewed you as another hooligan he was forced to pay for standing around and not doing your job just like the rest, though despite his warped assertions, you actually did get your work done. You ended up going on runs with 494 and Max to get to know the ins and outs of the job. Outside of work, you kept your distance unless your help was needed. Max and OC had invited you to Crash a couple of times, but you bowed out, especially when Sketch seemed a little too invested in your joining them. You also met Logan and Asha, neither of whom you cared for very much; still, they were important to your fellow transgenics and Logan was helping you, so you kept your thoughts to yourself. All in all, you were settling into life in Seattle and beginning to blend in. And you avoided 494 like the Plague despite his couple of attempts to approach you and strike up a conversation, so everything was going pretty swell.

You had even found a new place you liked to escape to every now and then. You knew the Space Needle was also Max’s favorite spot—she had told you as much—but after a long day, you liked to get to the highest point and look out over the city you now were beginning to call home.

It was one such peaceful night when 494 found you.

“Thought I’d find you here.” He carefully lowered himself down next to you.

You didn’t respond and instead focused on the feel of the cool breeze gently blowing through your hair.

“I’m glad you made it out,” he admitted.

You shot him a look before returning your attention to the city.

“I am.” He rested his forearms on his knees and looked out towards the city skyline. “I know what we had wasn’t of our making, but it wasn’t all horrible, was it?”

You let his question hang in the air. No, it hadn’t been all horrible, but it was still a messed up situation you both had been thrust into. Based on what you’d learned about his sessions with Max, copulation hadn’t needed to happen due to the background plan. You and 494 weren’t so lucky after a while, just like every other pair of breeding partners in the facility. By the time Max was recaptured and brought to the base, Renfro and company were already starting to side-eye the two of you and wanted to know how you hadn’t gotten pregnant yet. Almost every other pairing had been successful or reassigned if they weren’t; you were arousing too much suspicion by your constant failure to report an impregnation despite your successful copulations. The truth was that you and 494 did what you could to prevent it from happening. You had no desire to add to the ranks of Manticore transgenics and neither did he, something you both had been on the same page about since the first night you’d been thrown into a cell together.

You hadn’t fooled yourselves. This wasn’t about love or any attraction you had for one another, nor was it even a fun roll in the sheets; you both would not have chosen each other if you’d had a say in any of it. This was all about science and genetics, and it was purely clinical. That didn’t mean that there weren’t a few moments here and there that you snatched for yourselves: a laugh here, a tender moment there, a camaraderie forged between you in flipping off the organization that had created you and controlled you since your first breaths. So no, it wasn’t all horrible.

Which is why you didn’t protest or move away when you felt him subtly shift a little closer to you. You nearly smiled at the action; 494 had always sought a connection between you, something that superseded the physical. You couldn’t count the amount of times after your sessions that you had both held onto each other: you still remembered how he would wrap his arms around you and pull you close, letting out a content sigh as you ran your fingers through his sweaty hair, scratching at his scalp in the way you knew he liked. And he would make sure every inch of him was still touching you on the uncomfortable cot suspended from the wall, before the guards were due to come back and retrieve him. How he would chatter away about different subjects, doing his best to engage you.

“I went back for you,” he murmured.

Surprise ran through you as you turned wide eyes on him.

“Once they revealed the base’s location and I was able to get free, I went back for you.” He stared at you, swallowing compulsively. “But by the time I got there, it was too late. I thought you were gone.”

You could see the truth of what he was saying in his green eyes, but you refused to give in that easily. You huffed out a snort and turned back to the view. “More like you were hoping.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him shaking his head. “I never wanted you gone.”

You ignored him and continued your ritual of observing the city, allowing silence to fall between you. Only when he slowly took your hand into his did you turn a glare on him and finally speak: “I hate you, you realize that, right?”

“You have a weird way of showing that.” He nodded his head towards your intertwined fingers.

You rolled your eyes but you didn’t pull away. “Don’t you have a harem to get back to? Or what’s her name…Asha? Now that you’re free to choose who you want to copulate with. You didn’t seem to have any issue finding willing partners before I showed up.”

This time, he was the one who snorted. “Just passing time.”

You finally did pull away, grimacing. “Ew.”

He let out a nervous-sounding laugh. “I just meant it’s all been casual. Nothing serious.”

You side-eyed him. “Good luck with that.” You got to your feet and were about to leave when he grabbed your hand to stop you, forcing you to look down at him.

“Y/N,” he murmured, using the name Max had picked out for you. It wasn’t your favorite, but you needed something to go on the paperwork for Jam Pony and the papers Logan was acquiring for you, so you figured it would do. Perhaps you’d even grow into it and it could be a decent identity for you.

“494?”

He shot you a glare. “Alec.”

Right. Max had named him, too. That was something he’d mentioned on one of the runs you, he, and Max had gone on. You had smirked at Max’s explanation of that choice while 494 had rolled his eyes.

“Okay then. Alec?” It felt weird to call him that yet at the same time…it felt like a good fit.

His thumb tenderly stroked against your skin and he watched you. “Just wanted to see how it sounded. Using our names instead.”

You nodded. You could understand that. All of this was new and…fragile in a way. Any moment you could be found, you could either be killed or worse — brought back to another base. However, from what you’d heard, the former was more likely to happen these days. Max had encouraged you to start thinking about what you wanted out of life, and so far, freedom was certainly at the top of your list. You might be free right now, but you weren’t really free, not with your captors still out there who viewed you as their property, to apprehend or destroy at will. You had a feeling that Alec knew that just as well as you did, no matter the optimistic picture Max tried to paint for Joshua or any other transgenics she might come across.

He tugged on your hand to urge you to sit back down next to him. You resisted for a moment but then decided to oblige. What did a few minutes more matter in the scheme of things? He snuck an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer. Had it been anyone else, that arm would have been ripped from its socket by now.

Alec gave you a small smile and leaned down to press a kiss to your hair, flooding you with memories of every time he’d done just that. Other memories made appearances, too: his sharing with you about his side hustle of trading things with guards for certain comforts, something he actually used on your behalf a few times; his laugh and kiss to your head when both of you had gotten a little too much into one copulating session, almost making the two of you forget to take your usual precautions; his promise of getting you both out of there together if you could hold out just a little longer; his expression when he told you that he thought Renfro had a mission for him that would keep him out of your barracks for the next few nights but that he’d do his best to see it through quickly and return; the last time you’d seen him when he’d exchanged a look with you across the yard before you and your unit were led away for more drills and testing, you thinking back to the worry you’d seen in his expression and since you didn’t know the cause, it created your own set of worries — 494 never let it show if he was ever worried or scared.

You weren’t sure how to feel about any of this. Yes, you and Alec had history but it had been forced upon you. Although you had forged some sort of connection during it all, it didn't mean that either of you were looking to continue that or see where it went on the outside—especially now that you were able to choose for yourselves. Still, that connection hadn’t simply ceased to exist just because you wished it would… Especially not when he was trying his damndest to restore some piece of it, right here and right now.

He lowered his head to meet your eyes and you could feel something familiar inside your chest squeezing a little bit. You told yourself that it had to be heartburn from the chicken stew you’d eaten for dinner earlier, and not anything to do with him at all. “I’ve missed this,” he quietly admitted. “Just talking and being together. Didn’t you?”

You gave him a look of disbelief mixed with amusement. “I don’t really think we did all that much talking as I remember it.”

That cocky smirk of his was back. “True.”

You rolled your eyes and he laughed. You enjoyed the familiar sound that caused more memories to wash over you. You would never admit it but the bond you’d shared had actually been the only good thing to sustain you when you were running after the explosion. You’d hoped that wherever he was, he had gotten away and was safe. You knew he hadn’t been in his barracks; you’d checked amidst the chaos.

Thinking back to that night, you rested your head back against his shoulder and stared out into the night. His lips tipped up in a small smile and he laid his head up against yours, following your gaze. You both stayed like that for the next hour until he murmured to you, “Come back with me?”

You turned to frown up at him. Was he for real? “Really?”

“No, not that, I just meant…” He ran his free hand over his hair. “I didn’t think I’d see you again and now you’re here. I didn’t really know how to ask you before without it sounding like that. But I want to show you my place.” He gave you a bit of a proud smile.

You considered it. It would be interesting to see what kind of setup he had going for himself. That had been something you had talked about back in your bunk at the base as he held you to him, his hands roaming your bare back. “You sure Alec’s groupies won’t mind?”

Alec smirked and shook his head. “I don’t have any roommates or regular visitors if that’s what you’re asking.”

You smirked right back and leaned in, making his eyes drop to your lips. “I wasn’t,” you whispered before dropping his hand and getting to your feet.

He got up as well, grinning over at you, that familiar fire lighting those sharp green eyes. “Just think: no guards to bribe, no need to keep it down, no time limit, no metal cot we both have to try to fit on…”

You snorted. “So you really are asking me to go back with you for that reason.”

“No, I really do want to show you the sweet setup I have.” His smile then turned wicked. “But if that were to happen, I wouldn’t exactly be against it.”

“Uh-huh.” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, looking away from him. You did your best to hide your own smile when he wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his lips near your ear.

“So what do you say? Let me show you my apartment. I got a couch, a bed, a tub…”

“Ooh, a tub?” You pretended to be impressed though you weren’t pretending too much. If a tub was considered a luxury before the world went to hell, then it was an even rarer commodity now.

“Yep,” he huskily whispered as he brushed a kiss to your ear lobe. “All the hot water and soap you could want.” He trailed his lips down your neck, making your eyes shut halfway. “And I’ve got glasses, plates, a coffee table… I even have a stereo.”

You dug your teeth into your bottom lip when he found that spot on your neck that he knew you loved. “A stereo?”

“For music,” he explained, pressing a kiss to your jawline. “And I even managed to score some whiskey from years back, pre-pulse. You’ll love it,” he promised before nuzzling your cheek. “Come home with me.”

You stared out over the horizon, unsure if you should give in to what he was tempting you with. Before, at Manticore, the sex had been clinical and while there was a connection between you, given the circumstances, it made sense to stick together like glue. But now… “I don’t know if I should. We’re out now and everything’s changed.”

He spun you in his arms, his brows furrowed as he cupped your face with his hands. “Not for me. I meant what I said to you in there, we were gonna get out together, find some place to blend in, and make it work.”

“But we didn’t get out together,” you whispered, gently removing his hands from you before stepping around him towards the door.

He grabbed your hand. “Y/N.” You glanced back at his earnest expression. “I did come back for you. When everything exploded and I didn’t hear or see any trace of you, I thought—”

“I know. I went to look for you, too, once I managed to get out of my barracks.” His eyes widened slightly in surprise. “That guard, Hayes, he let me out. He said something about a deal you had in place with him if things went wrong while you were away on your mission.” You dropped your gaze. “It must’ve really cost you, so… Thanks for that.” You squeezed his hand before letting it go and making your way inside the abandoned building.

You didn’t look back; there was no point. When you thought back to that night, you remembered Hayes sneering at you as he opened your cell door, spitting something about telling 494 that he owed him something better than cigars and the usual contraband this time. You didn’t bother thanking the man who treated you and every other transgenic on the base as nothing more than freak science experiments that were less than human, and you booked it towards the male barracks, fighting your way through when you needed to. You would never forget the relief you felt finding the specific bunk you were looking for empty, that was then followed by the feeling of betrayal, which quickly shifted into acceptance. You hoped he was alive out there somewhere, whether he had made it out before you got there or he had already been out in the world on his mission. You had chalked up your time together as a weird yet not so bad interaction and kept running. You’d even seen Hayes’ dead body on your way out, his throat torn apart, almost as if that too was closing the book on this messed up chapter of your life.

And that’s what you’d done: closed that chapter of your life and attempted to move on, to do what you could to figure out your own life. You never expected to see 494 again, let alone find him living his life, a harem of women around him. It had stuck a finger into that particular wound for a moment before the blanket acceptance was back in place. Your relationship was exactly as you’d thought it had been for both of you: something that had been forced upon you by your creators and you both had tried to make something good out of it (just not the child Manticore had wanted). And now, it was over. You both were on the outside and it was time for you both to go your separate ways, figuratively if not literally. He’d done right by you in that last moment and you’d escaped, gotten free, and lived. What more could you ask for?

You were just about to scale down to the next level when his hand landed on your shoulder, making you look back at him.

“Y/N, come back with me to my place. I want to show you something.”

You gave him a look. “494—”

“Alec,” he corrected. “I’m not talking about sex, though if you wanted that at some point, like I said, I’m more than willing.” He lifted his hand to cup your cheek and he stared into your eyes, willing you to agree. “I really want to show you something.”

His thumb tenderly ran along your bottom lip in a familiar gesture that had always preceded a kiss before he left you for the night. A part of you hoped he would repeat the action but when he didn’t, you were more relieved than anything. Your body yearned for his—the familiarity, the comfort—but you still didn’t think you should fall back into old habits—it could only end badly, whether he ended up getting bored or one of you (or both) were found by your enemies. You felt incredibly torn. Truthfully, you weren’t quite sure what you wanted when it came to him.

“Please,” he added. “Come over.”

He looked so determined, so earnest, that you found yourself slowly nodding in agreement.

His handsome face lit up with a bright smile. “I promise, you’re really gonna like it.” He urged you to follow him, scaling to the next level down with you right behind him. You hoped he was right, and you also hoped you would finally get some sort of answer for yourself on whether to explore this new great unknown with him with the former Emerald City as the backdrop in contrast to your cramped cell or to close the book on him for good.

You had to admit, Alec had a nice apartment. It was bigger than you’d imagined and he had told you the truth: he had glasses, plates, a coffee table, a couch, a bed, a tub, the so-called stereo (which he turned on for a minute to show you how it worked), and the whiskey he’d promised. As you drank from your glass, marveling at the taste, you glanced around, nodding.

“Nice,” you complimented.

“Thanks.” He took your hand and led you to a corner of the living room where a box sat tall on some sort of stand. He released you to go over and stand next to it, turning to beam over at you. “What do you think?”

Your eyes roved over the box with a glass front, confused. “It’s…great?”

He gave you a look as if you should know what it was before smiling wide again. “It’s a TV,” he crowed.

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “TV?”

“Yeah, you know, to watch movies and TV shows, that kind of thing.”

You peered at it, wondering just how it worked. You’d heard of movies of course, but you’d never seen one. Did the images just appear on the glass when you turned it on? Was there something that needed to be selected or perhaps inserted somewhere?

He proudly laid a hand on top of it. “I managed to get ahold of it after one of my customers I’ve been selling synthetics to heard about some old lady dying nearby who had one. I headed right over to her place and got this beauty.” He smiled down at it.

“You’ve been selling synthetics?” Of course he was still hustling, even out here. In Manticore, it had been a necessity; out here, if it helped him get nice digs like this and set him up, you had to give him credit for keeping it going and getting creative.

“Among other things. Oh, and look.” He gestured down to another smaller box sitting in front of it. “I was also able to get a VCR. It took me a few months to get a lead on one of these, but I got it.” He chuckled and turned a wide smile on you.

You returned the smile, still unsure of what a VCR was.

“And the best part,” He took your glass from you and placed it on top of the TV before he grabbed something from behind it and shoved it into your hands. You looked down at the rectangular object and spied a familiar image you had only seen once before, when you were on the run from Manticore the first time. Your eyes widened; something you had told Alec about one night after copulating a few times and he was falling asleep, him tiredly rubbing your shoulder as you laid your head on his chest, one of the nights he’d bought more time for you both… The sight made the corners of your eyes sting, yet you forced yourself to keep the tears at bay. He had heard you that night even while nodding off and he’d— he’d managed to get his hands on it. “It’s that movie you told me about,” he began. “It’s—”

“--A Wonderful Life,” you finished in an awed whisper. You reverently traced the picture you’d seen a hundred times before Manticore caught you. You ignored the rips and stains surrounding the rim of the image and focused on the man who’d caught your interest in the first place. He looked happy, staring down at his wife, the two of them surrounded by their children, one hoisted up behind him and holding onto him for dear life. They all looked happy, which was something you’d never had or known. You’d never had a father, never knew your mother, and you’d never had a family, not like the one portrayed in the picture. Sure, you had dozens of brothers and sisters, but you weren’t a family. Manticore would punish you if any of you had even uttered the word. You were soldiers in training and that was it.

Still, this image piqued your interest and many nights, you found that you couldn’t stop staring at it. It was in an old theater, a place you’d managed to find while running the first time—the same place you took shelter in and eventually turned it into your own setup. There were other people throughout the theater who’d had the same idea, but they pretty much left you alone once you’d fought off the biggest guy in the group who had stupidly tried to take your food from you. Once you’d seen that poster, it created a yearning in you for something you had never known, something you never imagined wanting. You didn’t need parents and you didn’t need siblings, but you did crave family… Something that became more and more apparent the more you studied the image, imagining what that life would be like.

Which is why it was so cruel when Manticore recaptured you and immediately thrust you into its breeding program. Not only had they taken your life from you since conception, viewed you as their property that they were determined to see some sort of return of their investment on—now they wanted to take whatever life you could create from you and control it, too. You weren’t going to let that happen. As a matter of fact, you’d fought 494 off the first night they sent him into your cell. It had taken him by surprise because he’d thought you both were on the same page: you had orders. But he’d quickly learned that you’d rather die than follow those particular ones. He’d maintained his distance until a guard came to retrieve him, and as he’d glanced back at you one last time as he stepped across the threshold, you knew then that you were marked for death. A soldier refusing to obey and follow orders was no good to the organization and more importantly, of no use. Thus, it took you by surprise the next day when 494 confirmed the success of your copulation the previous night to your superiors which led to him being brought back to your cell later that night to continue.

From there, even though it took a little bit, you’d both talked and began getting to know one another. You’d learned that he didn’t want to spawn any kids for Manticore anymore than you did. Eventually, a bond began to form between you and of course, so did an attraction. The night you got hit with your first heat since being recaptured—thanks to a splash of feline DNA in your system, something you’d always been able to manage on the outside before—things had changed between you, and 494 no longer had to lie when reporting that copulation had been successful. Nonetheless, the entire time you’d been back in Manticore’s hands, you’d never forgotten about that picture and what you truly wanted: your freedom, a life, and eventually, family—happiness. You wanted to be happy just like the people in the poster.

And now here you were: on the outside, free for the moment, attempting to build a life, and this picture had somehow made its way back to you, right into your very hands, real enough to literally touch. “How did you get it?”

“One of Max’s fences gave me a line on where I could find one.”

You glanced up to find him watching you intently. You gave him a small grateful smile and you could see relief flood through his expression before he covered it with a smile of his own.

He cleared his throat. “I got it before you showed up, but…I never watched it. I couldn’t bring myself to. It felt wrong to watch it without you, especially after how you talked about it, so it’s been sitting in that case for months. I hope it still works.” He let out in a quiet chuckle.

You placed the box down on top of the TV and approached him. He watched as you cupped his face with your hands and pulled him down to you, your lips meeting for the first time since seeing him again. That all-too familiar feeling flooded you and this time, you didn’t fight the smile that made its way to your face. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” This time, he was the one initiating a kiss, and he snaked his arms around your waist, pulling you into him.

Only when you both needed air and he pulled away to trail kisses down to your neck did you tease into his ear, “So exactly how many girls have you shown this movie to?”

“None,” he breathed, nibbling on your earlobe. “I told you, I didn’t want to watch it without you.”

“You expect me to believe that you haven’t shown the TV or the VCR to any other girls?” You chuckled.

He pulled back to meet your eyes. “Okay, yeah, fair enough, I’ve shown them both of those, but not that movie, I swear. That was always yours.”

You knew you should be disgusted—not only that he had been such a callous player in your absence but also because he had used similar moves on you—but right then, you decided to throw all caution to the wind, even if just for one night. Seeing the movie picture again had reminded you that you needed to take happiness wherever you could find it, because thanks to your life, who knew how much longer you had?

“So,” you whispered huskily as you ran your fingers through his hair. “What were you saying about a bed and no time limit…?”

His eyes lit up with that familiar fire and he smirked. “Oh, hell yes.” He kissed you harder than before and picked you up, making you laugh into his mouth, as he used his transgenic speed to get you to the bedroom.

You watched the images on the screen in awe. You and Alec were sharing a blanket to keep your nude bodies warm as you sat in his embrace, the only light in the place coming from the TV. He had his chin resting on your bare shoulder, watching the movie intently with you. The man from the movie poster, George, was telling the woman, Mary, how he was going to travel the world and he was listing off his dreams right before she threw a rock at the abandoned house they were facing. When they started singing, Alec began to frown, but you? You were completely enraptured. You’d never seen or heard anything like this before.

In the beginning, the tape had seemed like it didn’t want to work, black and white tears in the image as it played, but thankfully Alec knew what he was doing with the equipment and how to get it working. Ever since then, your eyes hadn’t strayed from the screen once, even when Alec had tried to get a second round going, promising you he could pause the film and you could finish watching it later. When he’d failed to garner your attention, he’d pressed a kiss to the back of your head and settled behind you, letting out a quiet sigh of contentment as he’d burrowed into your neck before rejoining you in watching the movie.

When George told Mary that he’d give her the moon, Alec rolled his eyes and dropped a kiss onto your skin. “That’s lame,” he muttered.

You turned to look at him. “Why? Because he wants to give her anything she wants?”

“No. Because he’s going to lasso the moon. Lasso the moon? Really?”

You laughed and he smiled, leaning in to kiss your cheek. “Alright, sure, it’s cheesy, but the message isn’t.”

“It’s not?” Alec moved to kiss your ear.

“No. He likes her that much, he’d do anything for her. Kind of nice actually,” you ended in a whisper as you turned back to the screen. You let out a soft chuckle when the old man interrupted the couple and told George that he talked too much and he should kiss Mary already.

Alec, who had glanced back at the screen to watch that part of the scene, turned an affectionate smile on you before leaning in to nuzzle your cheek. “Stay here tonight,” he urged.

Your eyelids dropped halfway when he moved his lips to your neck and you dug your teeth into your bottom lip. “I can’t. Joshua will be worried.”

“The big guy will be just fine, trust me,” he promised, his lips gliding back to your shoulder. “I want you to stay.”

You thought it over. You both had reacquainted yourselves earlier quite nicely so that wasn’t an issue. Just like Alec had said, it had been amazing to be in a bed for once, not under the pressure of a timeclock or having to worry about prying eyes and listening ears milling around. You didn’t have to separate soon after you were finished if the guards Alec usually bribed weren’t on shift that night. Here, you were free to just be and let things take their own course and that had been a phenomenal feeling. As for what came next… you weren’t too sure about that. You hadn’t done a lot of talking since Alec carried you into his bedroom and playfully dropped you on the bed, knowing it wouldn’t hurt you. You had let out an incredulous laugh and he mirrored your grin before he’d been all over you.

You watched as he pressed tender kisses to your bare skin before glancing up at you hopefully. You took his face into your hand and he leaned into your touch. Seeing that, you decided to state your one condition if he truly wanted you to stay. “No more girls.” You refused to look away as you threw down that gauntlet. While he never said he wanted anything more than tonight with you, you needed him to know that if this did somehow go past that, you wouldn’t be wondering just who he had in his bed or on his couch a few hours before you would arrive at his front door. Or who he might bring back to this apartment to show his TV and VCR to.

He stared at you for a moment until the corner of his lips tipped up into a bit of a smug smile. “No more girls,” he agreed.

You tilted your head at him, studying his expression.

“What?” He laughed.

“Just like that?”

Alec’s smile grew and he leaned in to place a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Just like that.” You weren’t the least bit surprised when he suddenly turned you around in his arms to face him, one hand keeping the blanket over you, cocooning you both. He wiggled his eyebrows playfully at you before covering both of your heads with the blanket and leaning in for the kill.

“What about the movie?” You laughed as he began to kiss your neck.

“That’s the great thing about tapes. We can watch it again anytime we want,” he murmured, his hands starting to roam your body insistently.

“So we can watch the lasso the moon part again?” You teased.

He groaned into your neck, making you laugh. “Yeah, we can, if that’s what you want,” he grumbled, sounding like he was going to majorly suffer when you watched it again.

You pulled back, smiling, and cupped his face. “I want you,” you told him earnestly. And you did. You wanted more nights with him like this, you wanted what you two had managed to create back in your cell. Studying him now, you could see the man who had become almost everything to you back then, who’d kept you going during the rough moments, who ended up looking out for you even though he usually lived by the unwritten rule of only ever looking out for himself.

His eyes stared into yours and a small smile began to form on his face. “Then stay,” he urged.

You pretended to think over it for a minute and when you grinned over at him, his smile was already mirroring yours. “Okay,” you answered playfully, as if he had only posed a simple question like asking you if you wanted a drink or not. You moved up to kiss him and bury your fingers in his disheveled hair. “No lassoing the moon required,” you murmured to his lips.

He rolled his eyes and quickly maneuvered you onto your back with him right on top of you. He smirked down at you, leaning in to kiss you. “I’ll give you something better than the damn moon,” he mumbled into your mouth, making you laugh.

You didn’t want the moon or the stars (except the ones Alec made you see exploding behind your eyelids from time to time) or anything else that grand. What you wanted was simple: everything right here in front of you at this moment. A life that was your own, a job that helped keep money coming in, a roof over your head that offered protection from the cold, the wet, and intruders, while offering you a safe space to rest your head at night; food in your stomach, clothes that fit, and the feelings that coursed through you every time Alec kissed you.

Post-pulse Seattle might not be Bedford Falls and you might not be George Bailey or even Mary for that matter, but you were free, you were building a life, and you were happy. And someday, if you lived long enough, you might even get that family you’d been yearning for. From the look of things, between Joshua, Max, and now Alec, you were hopefully already starting to form something akin to the idea. And really, what more could you ask for?

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