#phew there are so many tags fuck

[queerdiazs]

tease tidbit tuesday 🫧

bet yall forgot i moonlight as a writer lmao

Buck, red-faced with his brows knit so close together they’re nearly one, snarls his lip in disgust. He doesn’t say anything and instead cups his palms around Abbie Jean’s elbows, pulling her carefully up out of the pool and passing her off to a paramedic. Once she’s wrapped in a blanket and shuttled off, he turns to stare back down at Eddie.  (Buck is so hot when he’s pissed off, holy shit.)  Eddie offers a smile. It isn’t received well.  Shaking his head, Buck reaches down and knots his hand in the front of Eddie’s t-shirt. He hauls Eddie all the way up and out of the water, and Eddie would be impressed and probably turned on if Buck didn’t look like he’s ready to tear the whole world apart. 

tagged by @loveyouanyway and @wikiangela, mwah

tagging @spagheddiediaz, @jeeyuns, @neverevan, @exhuastedpigeon, @actualalligator, @honestlydarkprincess, @rogerzsteven, @underwaterninja13, @devirnis, and @monsterrae1 if any of you have something you want to share!

[buckera]

hun, it wasn't tagged mpreg, what did you expect? also if you think in a fic tagged for breeding kink only one half of them will have a breeding kink... did you think it's gonna be non-con or what? truly baffled, but it made me laugh nonetheless

[hongjng8]

My Kind Of Heaven.

Pairing: DemonHybrid!san X Mortal!Reader

Feature: DemonHybrid!Seonghwa

Genre: Fantasy, mystery, dark.

Wc: 4k (4065)

Warnings: nsfw(18+)MDNI, CNC, light violence, Blasphemy, blood, knife play, manipulation, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal sex, overstim, restraints, intoxication, possession.

Hongjng8’s notes: Can’t say no to a bit of twisted demon action can we my sweets. ;) I’m also making this to treat a friend of mine !! (@sansangel ) hehe. Make sure to enjoy to your hearts content <3

Tag list (DM to be added): @slvtiny @sugarnspice630 @yuyusolivebranch @taegi1016 @batw00yo @acescavern @yunhoscutie @atzaurora @littlefireball @crimsonbubble @jjoongstar

San Masterlist | main masterlist

“Hff~ I’m so exhausted.”

Your voice emitted a murmur, knowing that you needed to take a peaceful break. Which conveniently your home was a beautiful bungalow placed in the middle of the forest, and of course, you being a spiritual person who was connected with nature, this was a perfect opportunity to go for a stroll — you know, to take your mind away from reality.

You exhaled calmly, sliding into your skirt. Your shirt, whilst comfortable, tucked underneath. Lacing a white corset around your waist, finishing with bunny tying your shoe laces.

“Phew.. okay..”

Rushing outside, grabbing a thick warm blanket in your hurry. You clung to the bag that rested under your arm. Immediately being faced with the calmness of the wild; various flowers, tangling trees, wispy grass, and wind chasing bushes.

The quiet and riveting environment had always intrigued you, and you’d often venture deep into the dream-like land. Completely unaware what tales lie ahead..

“Beautiful..”

You spoke a breathless whisper, eyes fluttering as you spun around to take in the wonders that engulfed you. Yellow and blue butterflies dancing like fairies, pretty love birds singing in the tall trees — It really felt like your very own wonderland.

Eyes twinkling, you found your usual spot. The spot that radiated that homey sense of warmth and comfort. Where you could ponder for days on end. With a tug of strength, and a firm flap, you laid out your blanket; As white as winters snow, and as soft as a rabbits coat.

Perfectly flattened under an oak tree that could have been big enough to hold centuries worth of secrets.

“Perfect.. so warm..”

You delicately placed yourself down, legs nestling into the coziest of fabric. Gentle hands adjusting the hem of your skirt to cover your thighs. You finally relaxed.

There was one small thing about this so called ‘wonderland’, that you wasn’t so familiar with.

The forest you called home, was somewhat magical. Well, that is what you’d say if you were to sugarcoat the reality of it.

Ideally, this forest was a realm — A portal for many different entities to come forth into the land of mortals.

This nature fueled soil was enchanted.

Peaceful. Was how things were going. You hadn’t felt so in touch with nature in such a long time. Your eyes had been closed for a hot second, taking in the sounds and drowsing in the scents around you.

Unknowingly, a faint mist was beginning to display it-self around the environment, decorating the air with twinkles of star dust. An uneasy ambiance dizzying your mind.. assuredly feeling a pair of eyes feasting upon you.

The wind grew a sudden strong, a cold breeze dangerously tugging at your skirt, snatching your attention away from daydreaming.

Sitting up, you scanned the unfamiliar scene in-front of you;

“what the fuck-“

You rubbed your eyes, examining the swirls of twinkly mist, blending perfectly within the air. ‘What a weird abomination.’

Trying to shrug it off, you pulled your phone out to check the time. It was getting later and later in the evening. Eyes rolling back, you let out a frustrated sigh, unappreciative about the journey back home. That was until the sweet scent of tangerine filled your nostrils: One of your favorite smells.

It was addictive, you felt pulled into some kind of bliss. You stared forward as the starry mist formed a trail, eagerly yearning for you to follow. To which you obeyed. — who could resist when the scent you got drunk on, only got stronger each step you took along the path.

The trail led you somewhere quiet and unusually closed off. Anyone else would have been suspicious, but the daze this mist and scent brung you only pushed you forward. You were hooked: Just like a fish being reeled in like mindless prey.

Hands draping to your sides, completely struck by the unrealism of what was unfolding in-front of you.

The foggy mist swarmed like a tornado. The stardust becoming more evident the bigger the mist got. Your jaw was hung, sheepishly stepping back from what began emerging.

A sleek outline.. such a tall figure exposing itself.

“I’m going cra-“

you were cut-off by this strange-being revealing himself; eyes sharp, plump succulent lips forming into a mischievous grin, his silk white hair that drooped infront of his brown, heavy eyes.

“Id hope it’s over me~..”

The strangers voice sent shivers along your soft skin, trembles running down your spine.

Your breath was taken away, stumbling over words that you were struggling to spurt out. To which you almost tripped in response. Only for this mysterious man to catch your fall, his hands soft yet they held a firm grip on you.

“Shh sh sh.. Don’t be afraid of a harmless Demon.”

His words were allusive, voice venom-like. You were spooked for sure, but you couldn’t deny the fact this demon was drop-dead gorgeous.

“Demon..?”

You questioned, your body tense as his hold on you tightened, sharp nails scratching against your clothes, as he cradled your body against his toned build.

“Correct.”

He was confident, straight to the point.

“I haven’t had such an opportunity to visit this side in a while.. what do they call it? Ah! The mortal realm.”

You blinked, examining this man in-front of you. You had always been a spiritual person, but witnessing a demons presence first hand was not on your list.

“Call me Seonghwa, pretty. Think of me as any other guy.”

Seonghwa spoke with pride, his long fingers began caressing your chin, lifting your head just a little to meet his eyes. The type of eyes that sucked in your soul, with intention.

“Consider us.. new acquaintances.”

He hissed with a smirk, fangs peaking as his lips curled, hands moving down to caress the curves of your waist once again.

You attempted to read this man carefully, but he was for sure a tough one to get through.

“What are you here for..? What made you approach me..?”

Your words tried to come across stern, but your voice came out quiet. It was clear as day you were nervous, to which he only got a rush out of.

He inched closer to you, siding you off to where you originally rested under the large oak tree.

“How could I resist such a welcoming treat, all alone.. in the woods..”

His eyes flickered to you, gazing up and down. He sought for the advantage in the situation.

“I’d assume some company wouldn’t be any trouble now, would it my pet.”

You inhaled a sharp breath, though before you could speak, you felt his broad cold hand against your bare thigh, swiftly making his move. He was quick, an unpredictable predator pouncing onto his prey.

“Seonghwa.. wait— no.. sto-“

Your mouth was covered by his spare hand, causing you to whimper, powerless. The demons strength was not unknown either, as he had you pushed against the hard bark of the tree, his body pressed against your back.

“Hush now, little human. You’ll love being my toy. How does it sound? A demons plaything?”

His sleek fingers curled under your skirt, prodding at the fine laced panties that covered your heated cunt.

You squirmed, shaking your head in denial to reject the hell spawn, which clearly didn’t phase him at all. You were only met with a stronger scent of that familiar mandarin orange. However this time, it left you in a deeper dreamlike state, incapable of thinking for yourself. The smell was captivating.. poison.

The demons lips ran over your ear, soon leaving a hopeful kiss against the nape of your neck.

“I’m so sorry.”

The specimen whispered sweet nothings and false apologies, as his fingers continued violating your clothed heat. Your body reacting against your wishes, as your soft panties dampened to his touch.

“I just can’t help myself..”

He growled lightly, tugging the wet lace of your panties aside, exposing your smooth, plump pussy to his digits.

“N-no..”

Your voice was shy to a whisper, unable to fight against his touch. You were dreading what could happen next. Seonghwa, whilst completely unwelcome, was exploring your now, throbbing underneath. Yet why was your body enjoying this feeling? It felt unbelievably filthy.

“Any demon would thrive to have a pet mortal like you. so beautiful.. so needing of such attention..”

His voice flowed smoothly, and you hated the way it gave you goosebumps of excitement.

Your eyes suddenly shot wide open, feeling his fingers scissoring your sensitive folds — gliding around your doused slick.

“How inviting..”

Over the faint murmurs of his words, and the dizziness from the transe you were under, all you could hear was the pathetic, squelching of your unacceptably wet pussy.

Seonghwa chuckled, satisfied with the reaction your body gave him. The sound echoing through your ears as your body sunk against the textured brown wood.

He slipped his hands out from under your skirt— fingers sticky with your unwanted arousal, pulling out a feather, tenderly stroking it along the back of your thigh. At least, to a mortal, it appeared to be a beautiful white feather. But under that enchanted disguise, a sharp steeled blade rested between his finger’s.

“I won’t hurt you.”

His words were anything but promising.

He was ruthless, sadistic. Yet something about him was drawing you in.

Your legs trembled as you felt the tickle of the feather against your skin, though that tremble soon turned into a cold hiccup of realization, the pressure he was applying to your skin was nothing to what a feather could achieve.

“Hold still, sweet thing.”

Body trembling in fear, your nails scratching against the tree bark. You felt the sharp rushing sting of the blade beginning to delve into your skin — eyes shutting tight to brace yourself for that anticipating pain.

That was until Seonghwa suddenly stopped. Unusual.. what’s happening?

The stardust mist that surrounded you both dangerously swept away. Just like wind picking up from a helicopters rotor blades.

Seonghwa’s guard was put down as he examined what was going on, his face full of clear concern. You instantly fell down to your blanket, hugging your knees, snapping out of the daydream this star demon laced you in.

“Fuck..”

Seonghwa growled defensively. You noticed for the first time the anger and irritation that brewed inside of him. ‘Is this what demons were?’

This new aura that dominated the horizon was stronger — even you, a powerless human could feel the intensity that was at steak. Seonghwa turned to you, head tilting as he concealed the fact he was intimidated. He knew what was coming, who was approaching.

“We need to leave, kitty.”

He attempted to bribe you, although you on the other hand: frightened, completely clueless. Your body was frozen, you could barely even hear Seonghwa talking to you. This new, musky Aura was paralyzing.

“You can trust me. You don’t need anyone else.”

Seonghwa himself winced, eyes jolting to the trees that golfed you both in. Vines manipulated themselves, branches cracking as the green stems slithered forward. Seonghwa’s abilities were useless against this hostile entity.

And he knew it.

Your eyes stilled, watching as vines approached the demon in-front of you, lips trembling as you shuffled backward slowly,

“What’s wron-“

Seonghwa’s words were put to a halt with a threatening choke, his neck strangled tightly by the vines. The poised demon groaned, nails grasping at the veiny wires of nature, the stardust that radiated from his body crumbled into Smokey. You on the other hand, were struck, barely able to form a thought.

Another demon, one who was broader with a menacing presence, came closer to you and Seonghwa, who was still restraint by his neck. This new being simply raised a hand, the vines lifting Seonghwa enough to face him.

“San..”

Seonghwa yelped, his breath short. Irritation spread all over his expression. Though he knew his place when against this rival.

“Seonghwa.”

San responded, his eyebrows furrowed with displeasure. You watched carefully as the two had an obvious distaste for one another, your attention drifting to the dangerous man.

‘San.. I see.’ you tried to gather some courage, being sure to collect as much information as you could just from listening to their small talk.

San’s hand reached out to glide two fingers up Seonghwa’s temple, before grasping his hair, tugging his head back with spite.

“You’ve had your fun, pixie. Get lost.”

His words spilled out like venom, letting Seonghwa go with a thud. The starry man grunted, picking himself up and wiping his lips. He was smart enough to know he wouldn’t stand a chance against San— forced to return to the opposite realm with a longing desire for your taste.

Left alone, the silence was eerie. Your tummy twisted, nerves pricking your spine and sending you into shivers. San undoubtedly held something in his manner, something that caught your true attraction.

This was the weirdest day of your life.

“Y/n, hm?”

You froze. ‘how did he know my name?’.

Your legs trembled, laying out as you stared up at the large man. Breath hitching at the sound of the vines crackling closer towards your limbs.

“I know many things, Princess. Like reading your little mind. You’re forgetting what I am.”

You began to notice that these demons seemed to have one similar trait: scents.

San secreted the musky fragrance of sage — god, another one of your favorites. However, this scent had a complete different effect. You wasn’t hypnotized to a stand-still, no. You coughed as the smell filled your lungs, your body willingly relaxed, legs parting. Your mind being filled with sinful, dirty thoughts.

“Tsk, I’ve never met someone who slips into traps so easily. Such a clever girl.”

His praise felt almost like mockery, your eyes clouded with desire as San closed in, hovering over your frame.

“Please..”

‘What am I saying?’ Your thoughts raced. For some strange reason, you craved the touch of the demon that stood in-front of you.

“You pitiful angel. I’d say the lord would be looking down at you with shame. You really want a demon to take care of you?”

Your cheeks heated with humiliation, whining as the demon controlled the vines, wrapping them securely over your ankles, tugging your body forward and forcing you onto your back.

Holy fuck he was enticing.

“You don’t mind if I treat myself, right baby girl?”

His red eyes drank up your kind pupils, and with a click of his fingers, the vines forced your legs apart. Your panties still damp from before, the lace suckled against your folds. You let out a breathy whimper as the cold air reached between your thighs, unfocused as San leant down, knees between your legs.

“I think this little deer needs a helping hand, hm?”

San teased, watching as your hips wiggled, your lips sealed as your heartbeat increased. You could feel his heavy presence inching closer to your warmth.

“Speak up, my little slut. Use that sweet mouth of yours.”

The demon slapped your desperately swollen clit, which was throbbing underneath your panties. Your body was covered in goosebumps, excitement pumping through your bloodstream. You couldn’t believe this was actually turning you on.

“Yes.. yes.. please San, please help me.. I need it.. please..”

He grinned, pleased. Wasting no time as his thick, long fingers slid under the sides of your soggy panties, hurriedly tearing them off of you with ease. He stumbled forward, latching his lips onto your cascaded mound. He groaned, tugging the vines to pressurize you against his face as much as he could. Mouthing you hungrily, licking between your folds, taking his time to explore every crevice. — eager to find your sweet spots.

“S-san!”

Your body shook, Lower back arching from the sensational assault against your gushing cunt. Now that the demon has got the taste of your sweet nectar, he indefinitely can’t stop.

In San’s mind, he grew heated at the idea of having a human like you under his sleeve. His personal little slave — a pretty toy he could mould into his very own property. An uncomfortable tightening shaped in pants at the thoughts, forming a hood at his crotch. He moaned at the fantasy, sending vibrations into you that only added to your pleasure. Your body shivering and trembling under his curse.

He pulled away momentarily, lips detaching from your drowned pussy with a pop. He panted, animal-like. Crazed from the smell of your arousal. He fluttered kisses against your thighs, hands caressing your delicate legs.

You were aching for more.

“Fuck.. you’re so wet. For me? Really?”

San was smug, admiring how your sensitive cunt throbbed and grasped around nothing. He knew exactly what you needed, and he damn well was going to take advantage of it. Without any question, he pumped two of his thick digits into your pretty little pussy. Curling them repeatedly, angling his wrists to explore your gummy walls, soon finding that sweet spot, causing a lucid moan to emit from your mouth.

You reacted perfectly to his touch, exactly how he wanted. He abused your frail, gasping cunt, violating that sweet spot — leaning down once again to suck your clit as he finger fucked you. Your hips jolting as you were edging closer to your release.

“That’s it, let go. Just for me.”

San murmured against your pulsing heat, shaking his head as he lapped you up like a fucking dog. As soon as he felt your walls clamping down and gushing on his fingers, he pulled them out just in time, frantically rubbing your sensitive bud with his hand — forcing an orgasm from you.

“Fuckkk! C-cumming.. mm!”

A high pitch cry poured out of your cords, San growling in response, a deeper moan passing his lips as he watched you squirt all over his hand, slapping your cunt one last time before he savored your high with his tongue, drowning in your pleasure.

“Such a good girl. Giving into a demon.”

The demon had pulled away, leaving you drenched and ready. Gasping for air as your chest raised up and down. San’s eyes stared down at your heaving chest, tongue gliding over his swollen lips to collect your sweetness that stained.

Your gaze met his, cheeks flushed as you watched him remove his clothes. A thick fog caved you both around the blanket. No one could see you like this but him. Your pleasure was for his eyes only.

Whilst removing the clothes that covered his lower half, the vines under his spell swiftly began tearing your clothes away from your skin.

“You’re so pretty like this.”

You gasped, the plants behind San’s strength handling your body with ease, flipping you onto your stomach and tangling around your waist to hang your hips in the air. San’s hand landed a rough slap against your ass, kneading the flesh within his large palms. Your face was pressed against the soft blanket, hands restrained behind your back. The power the demons vines withheld was more than surprising.

Before you knew it, you were on display — ass up face down. Tangled within the curse of nature.

“Delicate little princess. You belong to me. I’ll break you open and mould you into my very own cocksleeve.”

San finally positioned himself behind you, your knees either side of him as he gave his dick a few long, wet strokes — His breathing heavy.

Your legs felt weak, though San had no problem assisting, pulling your hips closer to his. The demon began to rub his length against your sex, making sure to gather and spread all the juices. It was obvious how needy and ready you were; you were leaking, dripping to feel San’s cock deep inside you.

After painfully being teased, he started to push his cock into your begging hole. The stretch was intense, pressure being more than anticipated. He was big, length and girth considered. Your walls hugged around him perfectly, like you were made for this. Both of your moans danced in the air together, his length completely sheathed inside you, the bruised-pink tip kissing your cervix.

“Shit.. you’re such a tight fuck-toy.”

San grasped the vines that tied your hands, pushing down against your middle back to deepen your arch, as he began setting a fastened pace, grinning to himself; you were losing yourself in this demon.

Unable to form a sentence, simply letting out wails of pleasure. Your pussy fluttering from the sensation — San’s cock plunged against the sweet muscle deep inside you. His dizzying sage aroma filled your lungs, becoming more addictive than any drug.

“You’re taking me so fucking well. Have you done this before? My little whore.”

The sadistic spawn spat rhetorically, eyes dark and heavy as he delve into you with such depth and speed, your tummy twisting with a tight knot. You swore you could feel a bulge in your lower belly each time he fucked into you; Babbling pathetic nothings as he ruined your pretty cunt. The high San was giving you, allowed you the energy you so badly needed to take his cock even after already hitting such an orgasm before.

“G-good.. so go-ood”

You managed to drool some words from your lips, tears rolling down your rosy cheeks. He kept you pushed down, giving several long strokes which gained your eyes rolling back, your nails digging into the stemmy ropes.

“You’re loving this aren’t you? Taking demon dick.”

He fastened, letting out a lengthy moan feeling you tighten around him. His balls were slapping against your wet core, the sound echoing through the fog that clouded around you both.

San’s arm snaked around your waist, the vines tightening against your skin, surely leaving a mark. His fingers dipped between your folds, swirling and brushing over your hard clit, all whilst his thrusts grew animalistic — The overwhelming sensitivity had your hips bucking repetitively.

“That’s it. Take it. Take all of me.”

The friction the two bodies created surely had the blanket dirtied underneath by the earth it had been resting on. You began feeling a burning twist forming in your aching tummy, breathing unsteady. The ruthless pounding only sent you deeper into your arousal, your muscles stiffening as your spine bent the furthest it could; bringing you to another orgasm. It hit you hard, your throbbing cunt squeezing and gushing around San’s cock.

“Oh g-god!”

“Scream for the lord. Let him hear you.”

As you release, relishing into a moaning mess. San grabbed a blade that the vines had hauled towards him, his hips still rolling rhythmically as you twitched and flushed against him, milking your high out of you.

Without a word, he carved his singular initial into the back of your thigh — his breath shuddering as he watched your crimson blood tickle down your already shaking leg.

“N-ngh! F-fuck yes y-yes!”

San threw the blade aside as you came over him, cursing as he sharply swatted your ass, sending your body into trembles. Fucking into you feverishly, getting drunk off your squeals and sobs. You loved this feeling of being used; having this deep need to give yourself over to this demon. A success for him.

His groans turned into feral, desperate grunts. Frantically pumping himself in and out of your drowned pussy, sending you into overstimulation. His orgasm peaked, head leaning back dreamily as his moans laced with your cries — his hot seed spewing over your walls, painting your crevices.

“Oh.. oh yes, fuck..”

The last thing you could feel was his pulsating length, only then for it to slide out. Leaving your pitiful hole gasping and leaking with the sinful fluids. The demon caught his breath, slicking his hair back, flocking the vines back to their origin.

“I hope you realize, you belong to me, y/n.”

His words weren’t threatening, but more of an honest, possessive statement. He had great intention in his tone. Your body was weak, limbs lifeless like jelly as you finally rested against the white coated, liquid drowsed blanket. San leant down with you, hands caressing over your tender curves, admiring his newly claimed property.

He fluttered gentle, wet kisses along your shoulder, and then to your neck — Cradling you in his large arms as you rested, completely fucked senseless. Although you had the lasting trace of this demon imprinted in your mind.

“I’ll be sure to visit you often, my angel.” ~

[bookish-bogwitch]

an ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

thanks for tagging me @wellbelesbian!

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s): Basil Pitch's Diary. It's literally my only WIP.

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___” Bridget Jones's Diary + Carry On = We Love Baz, Just As He Is

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it? Internalized homophobia, gaslighting, self-hatred. 😬

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)? I never considered an alternative title to BPD, but the one that comes to mind now would be a huge spoiler. The alternative title to the next chapter is "I Fortunately Know a Little Magic," which is sassy and snappy (R.I.P. Howard Ashman) but less thematically relevant than the title I chose.

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next? Basil Pitch's Diary. Literally every other fic I've ever posted has been while "taking a break" from BPD, which could go on indefinitely if I let it, so I am bound and determined to finish this fucker before starting something else.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as) I have a list for BPD called "Chapter Checklist." It contains subtle insights "Baz is an UNRELIABLE narrator."

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP. Here's Baz and Dev in ch. 7:

“Will you stay for dinner?” 

“Can’t. Dev and I…”

As Niall told me about their plans I grabbed one of the football’s nylon loops and let Rusty tug on it as we walked. It seemed too late for Niall to have a date all the way in London, but what do I know about dates.

“Come with us,” said Niall. 

I grimaced. “No thanks. I’ll catch up with Dev when he’s not on molly and climbing down your throat.”

“You don’t ‘catch up’ at Beast Night. You dance.”

“With whom?”

“Men.”

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP. I just looked in the trash folder of the BPD Scrivener project and found this note I don't remember writing:

Renée Zellweger would play Baz. People would be skeptical but she’d fucking nail it. Gaining weight for a role? How about growing eight inches, sprouting a happy trail, and joining the legions of undead. (Might as well cast Oscar bait.)

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet? A Watford-era get-together magickal mishap involving animal transformation and beloved children's literature. So, you know. The usual.

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on? Just the one. @facewithoutheart and I have a secret side project going that involves back-and-forth writing and it's stalled out on me. It's very fun and silly and I plan to return to it when I need a break from some of the angstier parts of BPD.

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now? I'm not working on any one BPD scene right now, but trying to map out the rest of the fic in greater detail so that I can roll from one chapter to the next. I was struggling for a couple of weeks with how to make an unavoidable canon plot point emotionally relevant to Baz's arc, but I think I figured it out last night. Phew.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send. Kudos and tags to @cutestkilla, @thewholelemon, @whatevertheweather, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @monbons, @onepintobean, @ileadacharmedlife, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @skeedelvee, @im-gettingby, @imagineacoolusername, @iamamythologicalcreature, @youre-an-apocryphal-concept-223, @rimeswithpurple, @goblindad-emoshit, @facewithoutheart, @artsyunderstudy, @alleycat0306, @erzbethluna, @ebbpettier, @emeryhall, @f-ing-ruthless-baz, @hushed-chorus, @hertragedyconnoisseur, @ionlydrinkhotwater, @ic3-que3n.

[sunwarmed-ash]

🔥Sinful Sunday🔥

love me or hate me, I just don't care

Chapter 3: feel the love, I don't feel enough, I don't like to be alone

Ship: Pre-slash Steddiegrove

Fandom: Stranger Things

Rating: Explicit- Violence, language, eventual smut

TW: Child abusive, homophobic language, violence Tags: Billy Hargrove centered, numb Billy, fighting, unhealthy ways of dealing with stress, the homoeroticism of Billy Hargrove and Steve Harrington, enemies to friends to lovers, pre slash, Eddie Munson & Billy Hargrove, tags to be added

Preview:

It’s a relatively boring Tuesday night at Family Video and Robin and Steve are just about out of topics to gossip about. That's never happened before, but honestly, it's been weeks since anything remotely interesting has happened. Since their fight and awkward apology, Billy’s been avoiding Steve like the plague. For a while it was nice. It gave Steve a chance to process their last interaction. But now that he has, the lack of resolution is it's driving him nuts. They need to talk about it. Their fights. Because, in all actuality, now that Steve’s ‘gotten his revenge’ in so many words, he realizes, embarrassingly, he didn't have much reason to hate Billy Hargrove. After that night, Billy’s attitude towards all of them shifted. It was like a completely different person was running his flesh suit now. Nothing like the proud, boisterous, asshole they all met back in October. A part of Steve hates to admit it, but he kinda misses fighting with Billy. Not the bash-each-others-teeth-in kind of fight, the normal, totally not homoerotic way Billy used to tease him. Steve hasn’t seen that Billy in months. He wonders what happened to him. 

That next moment, Eddie Munson comes flying through the front doors, eyes wild as he slaps the front counter with both palms. 

“You are not going to BELIEVE who I just saw!” Eddie shouts, and Steve doesn’t think he’s ever seen Eddie smile this big before.

“Why are you yelling? We’re right here,” Robin scolds, but Steve is interested. This is the most entertained he’s been all day. 

“Who?”

“Billy. Hargrove.” Eddie says, like the man had gone missing or something and not just rececedied into emotional unavailability. 

“Like you saw him and talked to him, or saw him from a distance?” Robin asks, not nearly as excited for this news as the boys were.

“Well…okay, I saw him through the window. But! He’s working at Melvalds. After school. That’s why we haven’t seen him around.”

“Melvalds?” Steve repeats, curious why hasn’t Joyce mentioned anything yet? Or Max? “Since when?”

“I don’t know but dude, he looks hot.” Eddie pants, waving a hand in front of his face like a fan. 

“What?” Steve laughs, face flushing red at the public mention of their shared, ever growing obsession with the blonde. 

“I've never seen him wear his hair in a ponytail before but, phew, its doing it for me Steve.”

“Just about anybody would do it for you,” Robin mutters and Eddie throws a challenging grin her way.  

“Says the girl who creamed herself when Chrissy got a new scrunchie.”

Robin flushed redder than Eddie’s nail polish before smacking his arm hard. 

“Shut the FUCK UP!”

Steve and Eddie both explosde into laughter at Robin's expense before Steve changes to more important matters. 

“Okay, so when are we going?”

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @disasterbuckdiaz @jesuisici33 @forthewolves @rewritetheending @wikiangela @thosetwofirefighters @bvckandeddie

Thank you darlings! 💖

No surprise, paint sex fic has gotten out of hand and includes more plot than it has any right to (plus it has led to me starting another wip with sub eddie and dom buck so phew it's been a time), but here's a little taste of no smut from this smut fic

Ever since they gave themselves permission to fall into one another–to sink even further into the thick and golden syrup of their love and not come up for air because why would they need it when the life of the other is the only thing they would ever need to breathe, mouths pressed against one another for eternity, an intimate conversation, an exchange of sustenance, a comfort given and taken–Eddie hasn’t strayed far from Buck’s side.

It has earned them no small amount of teasing from their friends, all of them questioning how it was possible for Eddie and Buck to become even closer when they were already attached at the hip.

When Chim and Hen asked that (with broad, pleased smiles that made Eddie’s heart feel so fucking full) Eddie thought about how they were right, that his hip did automatically fix itself to Buck’s, a push and pull established between them early on that both of them were happy to follow, but that that’s the only part of themselves they allowed to touch, that there was plenty of distance between their torsos which were bruised and aching from the ferocious rhythm of their hearts that they tried not to let fully meet.

He didn’t say any of that that though, because he has some sense of self-preservation and dignity, but also because Buck proceeded to smile smugly at them in that lopsided, cocky way of his that Eddie hates (loves) and simply said, “Sex,” with an eyebrow wiggle.

The chorus of groans echoed loudly in the firehouse loft, and Eddie’s cheeks flushed so hot and bright he’s amazed he didn’t burst into flames on the spot.

He did manage to elbow Buck in the side and shake his head at him with an expression he has had to use far too many times, one that clearly says Buck, no.

Buck winced and rubbed at the spot where Eddie’s elbow dug into him while laughing a little breathlessly which of course made Eddie laugh because he doesn’t think he could ever resist the hypnotic pull and flow of Buck’s joy, can do nothing but try to match it and capture it and tuck it beneath his breastbone so he can feel it for the rest of his life.

And the loud thunk as Bobby dropped his head onto the table certainly didn’t help matters any. The sound was somehow full of Bobby’s exasperation and misery and it dragged laughs out of all of them until they were just a mass of cackling firefighters on the floor, clutching their bellies and crying from the force of their amusement.

Tagging: @elvensorceress @spaceprincessem @hippolotamus @shortsighted-owl @anxieteandbiscuits @diazass @shitouttabuck @diazblunt @paranoidbean @housewifebuck @watchyourbuck @jeeyuns @buck2eddie @cowboydiazes @cowboy-buck @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @loserdiaz @buddierights @rogerzsteven @bigfootsmom @transbuck @transboybuckley @honestlydarkprincess @911onabc @thewolvesof1998 @butchdiaz @bucks118 @the-likesofus @gayedmundodiaz @try-set-me-on-fire @folk-fae and anyone else who wants to share!

[alectoperdita]

Hey darling, I finished reading all the sad Kaiba recs you gave me! They were all wonderful. I'm slowly making my way through your delightful catalogue of fics, but I was wondering if you could rec me some of your favourites? Your own fics and others?

Thank you!

Glad to hear the sad Kaiba recs hit the spot!

My memory is bad and I often forget things. Thankfully AO3 has a bookmarks feature so y'all can go there and see what I've saved: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alecto/bookmarks. If I've bookmarked it, it means I've read it and I like it, so they all count as recs. If it has the 'rec' flag on it, consider it a super recommendation. In addition, I've posted a few themed rec lists to tumblr, you can check them out in my #themed rec list tag.

Next, I will highlight a few of my favorite fics written by other talented people!

The Serpent's Vow by Rahar_Moonfire A YGO/Stargate crossover that will forever be one of my favorite fics. Gorgeous characterization and plotting, beautiful blending of the two canons. If you're familiar with both shows, I highly recommend it. Even if you're not, I still recommend it haha. Even if it stays a WIP forever, I will always love it. (This is not a kaijou fic, but Seto and Jounouchi have some amazing interactions regardless).

Fame and all its Trappings by Lafeae Also a WIP series, but again, I love it so much I don't care. A showbiz AU with rock star Jounouchi and producer Kaiba, heavy on the power imbalance.

Not a Mirror Image, But Close by Onetruesikorsky Is it cheating if I rec a fic written to go with one of my fics? It's a foursome fic between Maybe it's more than skin-deep's Kaiba and Jounouchi and Set and Jono. Because I kept talking about a theoretical threesome between that Kaiba, Jounouchi, and Set. A friend took it as an inspiration point and ran with it and gave me this fucking masterpiece. (Also this means I didn't have to write the threesome myself hahaha).

Second Chance Christmas by Elexica A Christmas story depicting the drama of post-divorce kaijou co-parenting two children while separated by oceans and continents. The holidays forces them into close quarters where they start to confront the wreckage of their relationship. As a non-Christmas fan, this is the only Christmas kaijou story for me.

Baby Dragon by thegraeyone Kaiba bioengineers pet-sized Duel Monsters as pets. Insane? Yes, but absolutely in character for him. Heartwarming and bittersweet at times. Kaiba tries to moor himself with Mokuba on the cusp of leaving for college, maybe even forging new relationships. One of them is with his pet Blue-Eyes, and Jounouchi, to whom Kaiba has entrusted the only Red-Eyes dragon created, is another.

The Structure of Your Heart by Chiharu This story tracks the gradual progression of Jounouchi and Kaiba's relationship from hook-ups to becoming a couple. It fills me with such warmth every time I re-read it.

anything by phant0m phant0m's prose is hands down some of the most beautiful and poetic prose I've ever read in fanfiction.

I recently answered another ask about five fics I would self-rec, so I'm gonna cheat and copy the same list for you here. Haha. For more commentaries on my choices, check out the original reply.

Maybe it's more than skin-deep

How We Break and Rebuild

Lure

Two monsters walk into the club

The tomorrows we'll never have

Phew, this got kinda long. Many happy readings!

[queerdiazs]

2023 fic writing review

rules and tags below the cut because phew, it got long!

rules: feel free to show whatever stats you have. only want to show ao3 stats? rock on. want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? please do this. want to change how yours is presented? absolutely do that.

words and fics

words: 237, 627

most recent: the house i built is burning, where eddie and buck's house burns down, oops

longest fic: technically this, but it's actually deck the halls (and your in-laws), where the diaz and buckley parents show up to spend christmas with the boys, oh my

shortest fic: i love you best when you're just yourself, where buck's in his head about picking out a christmas tree

favorite fic: tied between the dinosaurs smelled magnolias, where eddie proposes to buck with his dick inside buck, and but i've got my teeth in you, where buck gets a tooth knocked out and eddie is Normal about it

most kudos: the side effects of eating too many clementines, where eddie realizes he's in love with buck over oranges in his kitchen

least kudos: mississsippi, where eddie and buck indulge in piss play

events

bad things happen bingo, round one

upcoming events and projects for the new year

finish hoa eddie, who's halfway done at 33k

continue to work on my bad things happen bingo card

clementines smut

5+1(+1) fic where eddie asks buck to marry him

wildfire fic

soft dom eddie series

eddie and buck post-lightning strike

bobby nash's guide to surviving evan buckley and eddie diaz

backdraft au

bullrider buck and rodeo clown eddie au

alpha/alpha buck and eddie

911angstinautumn?

spur of the moment fics i'm sure will wiggle in my brain

achievements

published 20 fics for buck/eddie in 7 months which is so fucking cool

met a lot of really cool people (TENTOESDOWN will live in infamy)

wrote over 50k in the month of december because i decided to challenge myself, jesus christ

goals

write and publish at least 25 fics

learn to edit pictures

finally rewatch s1

write more fics from buck's pov

(at the sake of being ooey gooey, 2023 has been kind to me in the sense i've figured out my future and fallen back in a fandom that's so fun and fresh and enjoyable i can't get enough of it. lots of that is because of the people i surround myself with, and i'm not going to get every individual person but i love you guys lots and i really, really mean that. can't wait to see what 2024 brings us 🥂)

i was tagged by @hippolotamus, @monsterrae1, @exhuastedpigeon, @wikiangela, @honestlydarkprincess, @theotherbuckley, @jamespearce9-1-1, @jesuisici33, @thewolvesof1998, @callmenewbie, and @devirnis <3

tagging @spagheddiediaz and @jeeyuns because they'll yell at me if i don't

[lucky-bishop]

✨ Fic Writing Review 2023 ✨

Thank you for the tags @rosieposiepuddingnpie and @thotpuppy! I still had a few works in progress that I knew (or at least desperately hoped, lol) would be posted in 2023, but now I can safely say I'm done posting for the year (though I have things raring to go for early 2024) and wanted to share my year in review!

Words and Fics

230,669 words posted across 32 fics

One fandom represented: y'all already KNOW it's Teen Wolf!

Earliest Drop: Doctor's Orders (Steter, Explicit, 2,529 words) on 1/5/2023

Most Recent Drop: Creature of the Night (Stackson, Mature, 7,529 words) on 12/29/2023

Longest Fic: Pretty Good Bad Idea (Steter, Explicit, 28,502 words)

Shortest Fic: Werewolf Healing (Teen+, 1,090 words)

Overall, this makes me super happy! My writing goal for 2023 was 200k words, and I made it with over 30k to spare! I also met my goal of posting at least once per month (although in the summer it was mostly just the biweekly updates for Pretty Good Bad Idea).

Top Fics by Kudos

The Empty-Nester Alpha (Steter, Explicit, 16,306 words)

Pretty Good Bad Idea (Steter, Explicit, 28,502 words)

Lips are for Biting (Stetopher, Explicit, 2,436 words)

Down to the Marrow (Steter, Explicit, 23,206 words)

A Long History (Steter, Explicit, 11,528 words)

Hm. I wonder what my most popular pairing and rating are 😂

My fandom fic events in 2023

The Empty-Nester Alpha (Steter, Explicit, 16,306 words) for the 2023 Steter Valentine's Exchange

Burnin' Up for You, Baby (Starrish, Teen+, 5,765 words) for the Stiles Rair Pair Valentine's Day Event

Promises, Promises (Mature, 2,789 words) | The Witch in the Woods (Explicit, 7,044 words) | What Spring Will Bring (Mature, 1,701 words) | Breaking Bonds (Teen+, 4,354 words) | Born to Run (Mature, 3,419 words) | Touch Me, Fix Me (Explicit, 5,497 words) for Deter Week 2023 (which I will be running for 2024! Details coming soon!)

I'm Sorry (like a pipe through the gut) (Petopher, Teen+, 1,675 words) for the May 2023 Petopher Event

A Ways to Go (Stackson, Mature, 10,537 words) for the Stackson Reverse Bang

Welcome Home (Stetopher, Teen+, 1,113 words) | Good Morning (Stargent, Explicit, 1,489 words) | The Best Gift (Starrish, Teen+, 1,999 words) for the Stiles Shipping Central Ficlet Exchange

Down to the Marrow (Steter, Explicit, 23,206 words) | sweeter than honey (Steter, Teen+, 1,909 words) for the 2023 Steter Bang

As We Know It (Stetopher, Mature, 17,063 words) for Fandom Trumps Hate

A Creature of Habit (Steter, Mature, 20,918 words) for Steter Secret Santa 2023

Hey Batter, Batter, Swing! (Steterson, Explicit, 5,209 words) | Creature of the Night (Stackson, Mature, 7,595 words) for the Teen Wolf Holiday Fest

Last year I said I wasn't going to sign up for so many events this year. As you can see, I lost control of my life.

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

Oh man! A ton of events, again, lol. I will probably sign up for at least one Valentine's Day event, like I mentioned above I'll be running @deterweek 2024, I'll be down for the Steter Bang and Steter Secret Santa again, and hopefully several months of the Stiles Shipping Central Exchange.

As for projects, also a ton. I can never just be working on one thing at once, lol. I currently have eight requests in my queue, one of which is going to be ready by early January. I have thirty-nine existing idea docs/WIPs for Teen Wolf (including that one request). Which is fucking insane of me. Actually. But for a short list of things that should be (or hopefully will be) coming in early 2024 are:

Possessive Peter Steterek

Stiles gets bit by a grindr hookup (Steter)

Lorde-inspired Stargent painting fic

Alpha form Peter/Stiles monsterfucking in the woods

Outside of Teen Wolf I have a Stranger Things and a few WWDITS idea docs/WIPs that I'd love to work on, but I just don't know if it'll happen. We'll see! Cheers to 2024! That's a wrap! Phew, thank you if you read even half of this, let alone all of it.

Rules & Tags below the cut!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Tags: Anyone who sees this and hasn't done it and would like to! I know I am very late to the game, haha, but I love seeing stuff like this.

[wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart]

Fandom URL Tag Game!

The rules of the game are to write one song for every letter in your url, then tag as many people as there are letters in your url.

I was tagged by @underacalicosky and @dark--whisperings thank you so much for tagging me 💜

This is one of those times when I regret my overly long URL 😅

W - Who's Laughing Now by Ava Max

I - I Don't Wanna Go by Alan Walker and Julie Bergan

B - Blinding Lights by The Weeknd

Z - Zombie by The Cranberries

E - End of Time by Alan Walker and K-391

N - Nightmares by WE ARE FURY with feat. Gallie Fisher

A - A Day At Sea by Everen Maxwell

D - Darkside by Alan Walker

A - Aurora by K-391 and Roxanne Emery

R - Rise Up by VINAI feat. Vamero

K - My Woman by Kim Larsen

S - Sing Me to Sleep by Alan Walker and Anders Frøen

I - In the End by Linkin Park

D - Dance Monkey by Tones and I

E - Enemy by Imagine Dragons and J.I.D.

R - Rainbow by Sia Furler

W - Walk With Me by Måns Zelmerlöw

I - In My Blood by The Score

T - Thunder by Imagine Dragons

H - Hislerim by Serhat Durmus with Zerrin

A - Across The Stars by Eliott Tordo Erhu

S - Stamp On The Ground by ItaloBrothers

O - On Top of the World af Imagine Dragons

F - Fuck U Love U af Alison Wonderland

T - The Resistance af Skillet

H - Hey Boy af Phillipa Soo

E - Euro Anthem by Kozah

A - Alive by R3HAB, Vini Vici, Pangea

R - Rule The World by The Fat Rat & Alexa

T - The Drum by Alan Walker

Phew 😮‍💨😅 30 letters later

The mix of songs (all from my Spotify playlist) probably says something about my poor taste in music 🤷

I am NOT going to tag 30 others, not going to happen! But feel free to feel tagged if you're reading this. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[aesadraws]

Edit: Just in case anyone reads this later on. It was kindly pointed out in the notes that I am in fact fully blind and there's a function to filter posts by their content and not just tags. Phew~

On the one hand it's great that Tumblr finally has a built-in system to filter out posts. On the other hand, it doesn't block based on the content of a post, just the tags. So if I filter out "cashews" for example, and I do so with the intent of remaining blissfully ignorant of the goings on of cashew lovers, it doesn't matter how many times someone mentions that word in a post - if they didn't include that specific tag it still gets through.

Now imagine it's for something less ridiculous. Like filtering for phobias or to escape the crippling reality of living in the USA during election times.

The thing is, I have XKit Rewritten. I've used just about every iteration of XKit there's ever been. I know it had a blacklist function of its own and it worked great! It would completely hide posts even those posts had no tags but included my filtered words/phrases. But Rewritten no longer seems to have that option? Presumably because tumblr did finally add that feature. Very fucking poorly implemented, as mentioned above, but I guess the XKit folks didn't notice how janky tumblr's system is.

[illicien]

10 Fandoms/10 Characters/10 Tags

My dear wife, @descaladumidera, has tagged me to reveal all my darkest sins so FUCK IT.

Marvel - Doctor Stephen Strange (what am I supposed to do here exactly)

Hunter x Hunter - Kurapika Kurta

Yu-Gi-Oh! - Ryou Bakura

Gundam Wing - Quatre Raberba Winner

Digimon - Koushiro "Izzy" Izumi

Weiss Kreuz - Tsukiyono Omi

Mass Effect - Tali'Zorah

The Alienist - Doctor Laszlo Kreizler

Dragon Age - Iron Bull

Final Fantasy 14 - G'raha Tia

This was hard. I haven't been in that many fandoms. (<- same as wifey phew this hurt)

Tagging: @bicycleonfire @winterplum @timeless-anarchy (that's all you're getting out of me)

[someidiotwithalaptop]

Friend I come to you seeking SKINS KNOWLEDGE. I know how to use otp: true in "search within results" to narrow my search hits, but am frustrated by the fact that it eliminates fics where the "otp" is listed as the first among many and only shows fics where the otp is tagged exclusively. Can skins help with this, to find fics where an otp is a primary ship but secondaries are included, but exclude fics where the otp would be secondary?

Phew, okay, so!

Something like this:

.blurb:has(ul.required-tags):not(:has(a[href*="/tags/Blorbo%20Baggins*s*Steve/works"])), .blurb:has(.relationships > a:is([href*="*s*"],[href*="%20x%20" i]):not([href$="/tags/Blorbo%20Baggins*s*Steve/works"], [href*="minor" i], [href*="past" i], [href*="background" i])) { display: none !important; }

works for a slightly less narrow search, where it does almost what the otp:true search does except that it allows other relationship tags as long as they're either 1. not a romantic ship tag with "/" or " x " in there somewhere or 2. a minor/past relationship.

Getting a filter that searches for fics where the OTP is tagged first is a lot more complicated, because most tags are stored in a kind of weird way where it's nearly impossible to count them except in one big clump.

Fortunately though, relationship tags come right after the archive warnings, and there's a limited number of those! So it's possible to literally just. Handle the cases of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 archive warnings individually aslkdjflksdjfklsj

This is a tad bit disgusting, but seems to actually work:

.blurb:has(.warnings:nth-of-type(6)):not(:has(.relationships:nth-of-type(7):has(a[href$="/tags/Blorbo%20Baggins*s*Steve/works"]))), .blurb:has(.warnings:nth-of-type(5)):not(:has(.warnings:nth-of-type(6))):not(:has(.relationships:nth-of-type(6):has(a[href$="/tags/Blorbo%20Baggins*s*Steve/works"]))), .blurb:has(.warnings:nth-of-type(4)):not(:has(.warnings:nth-of-type(5))):not(:has(.relationships:nth-of-type(5):has(a[href$="/tags/Blorbo%20Baggins*s*Steve/works"]))), .blurb:has(.warnings:nth-of-type(3)):not(:has(.warnings:nth-of-type(4))):not(:has(.relationships:nth-of-type(4):has(a[href$="/tags/Blorbo%20Baggins*s*Steve/works"]))), .blurb:has(.warnings:nth-of-type(2)):not(:has(.warnings:nth-of-type(3))):not(:has(.relationships:nth-of-type(3):has(a[href$="/tags/Blorbo%20Baggins*s*Steve/works"]))), .blurb:has(.warnings:nth-of-type(1)):not(:has(.warnings:nth-of-type(2))):not(:has(.relationships:nth-of-type(2):has(a[href$="/tags/Blorbo%20Baggins*s*Steve/works"]))) { display: none !important; }

and should hide every fic where "Blorbo Baggins/Steve" is not both tagged and also the first relationship tagged, though unfortunately using it does involve swapping out all six Blorbo/Steve tags with the one you're actually looking for lmao

(tumblr, please stop italicizing things, i swear i actually meant to type *=)

(*whoops fucked up the parentheses on that first one, should be fixed now)

[daemonhxckergrrl]

re: your ask from greyr4t about win10: as you said in your answer its free, just needs a key for 'activation.' ime activating win10 has been worth it. like you mentioned, it isnt strictly necessary, one can make do fine in a somewhat limited capacity with the watermark in the corner forever (unless your monitor is an OLED then have fun with 100% guaranteed screen burn in lmao. or unless always seeing it enrages you disproportionately. as in my case). but having windows activated is honestly just nice, it makes many things easier and is more sustainable in the long run... worth the extremely minor hassle as like a QoL thing imo. you also brought up that its possible to circumvent microsoft (and its brazenly insane asking prices 🤬) & buy cheap keys online from third parties. i wanted to talk about how i did shit, hopefully it helps the original asker directly or at least comes in handy to know

so i bought my (shady bootleg, yes, but perfectly functional for years now) win10 activation key for even cheaper than what Synthia listed as a price point- iirc, under 5 bucks USD. (might be higher now w inflation, but id be surprised if its much more than around 10.) if things still work how they used to, you can do this on ebay. technically ebays policies dont allow it, so the accounts selling these keys come and go frequently due to getting shut down by ebay after popping up. thus, dont necessarily be put off if the seller hasnt existed for long, as often thats just how it goes (or it did. hopefully this sort of thing is still going strong🤞); do trust happy reviews. now, there are a few TYPES of activation keys– priced slightly different, nothing big– that correspond to different editions of windows 10. so basically its home edition, pro edition, and "pro for workstations". might be worth finding a brief summary of each to determine which edition best meets your needs. (there are more editions beyond the main trio, look into those too if you want, but the tldr on em is theyre for like niche markets w/ highly specific use cases.) fwiw, i got pro & am happy with it. another thing, from personal experience: may or may not be obvious but you're gonna wanna save a screenshot of your key somewhere safe and accessible. additionally though, label the screenshot somehow so you know what it is later, and if youre a disorganized scatterbrain like i am then put that in multiple places you can reliably access so if/when youre having trouble tracking it down you know where else to look; it came in handy for me to have access to it in places both online (cloud storage like google drive or dropbox for example, or even just saving the email copy of the ebay mssg in the designated folder in your email for the ones containing info you wanna save) & off (physical note on paper, stored in the files on one or more personal devices, etc). theres a huge chance youll need it again in the future– like say if you want to upgrade certain hardware– and likely more than once. final advice: highly recommend looking into comprehensive ways of "defanging" and/or "lobotomizing" windows, as they say. i.e., a tip that gets circulated is doing the initial setup for windows w your pc in airplane mode / ethernet unplugged so you dont have to make a microsoft account so they cant create a profile on you to collect your data to sell off & target ads at you (which is obvi totally reversible later if you decide the benefits of having an account outweigh the drawbacks). shit like that, plus the loads of guides out there– many here on tumblr itself– on extensive fucking around in various settings to disable bloatware / preserve privacy / other useful stuff, that can get pretty granular. i think ive even seen Synthia herself reblog posts like that here a couple times, maybe? perhaps try checking relevant-seeming tags from the tagging system in her pinned, or do a blog search for the term 'windows' and see what all there is to find

phew, anyway, jesus christ! sorry this got to be such a long writeup!!! some of this blog's aggregate of resources have been a big help to me, so i wanted to try to pay it forward a little <3 and, Synthia, if you wouldnt mind, tagging the original asker in your response to this anon so that greyr4t is more likely to see all this would be very much appreciated by me!! ty in advance!! thanks also for your careful curation of useful info on this blog, plus the helpful posts and guides youve written here for us yourself 👍🌈

hi anon ! thanks for writing all this up !! lots of great points here - hopefully they help you out @greyr4t ! the airplane mode one is real important too if you care about privacy (and the fact you can't choose to make a local account during installation unless you are disconnected from the internet is awful and yet another dark pattern-type tactic.

i'm glad my blog's been good for you <3 (though i do need to go through and make all the important stuff a bit easier to access at some point)

iirc there's some reblogs on general privacy stuff (probably under one of the REPO tags and like "net privacy" or similar) as well as my own firefox post, and maybe more will happen in the future when i get to them

[mccall-muffin]

TAG GAME

Thank you for the tag @liebgotts-lovergirl, my bestie!

1. Are you named after anyone? Yep, well, at least I think so - my Mom told me, that I'm named after Kim Wilde, in a distant way. She always loved the name Kim and she knew, that if she will have a girl, that's what she will name her.

2. When was the last time you cried? Phew, I guess that was sometime last week...

3. Do you have kids? Net yet - but I would love to have some. Just waiting a little longer ;)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? What makes you think that? I never use sarcasm!

5. What is the first thing you notice about people? Eyes, teeth and their smile. I'm a fancier of eyes and smiles :D

6. Eye color? Blue, but a grayish blue. Sometimes it looks like steel - depends on how the light falls in it. (My bf says, there is a brown dot in one of them but I don't see it)

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings! If I'm watching horror movies, they haunt me like forever!

8. Any special talents? My friends call me jukebox because I know a lot - and I mean a LOT - song lyrics. Don't know if this counts as talent tho...

9. What are your hobbies? Reading, Writing, Hanging out with my friends, watching TV Series and Movies, Going to the Movies, cooking, spending time with my cats, and watching ice hockey and Football (Soccer) games.

10. Where we’re you born? Zurich, Switzerland

11. Do you have any pets? Yes! My two cats Muus (Moose) & Quentin and two axolotls.

12. What sports do you play/have you played? I played football (soccer) for many years but I had to stop because my back is already fucked up. Now I'm a coach for teen girls who play soccer.

13. How tall are you? Around 5' 3''.

14. Favorite subject in school? English, German and Drama

15. Dream job? Hah, tbh, it always was being an actor, but it's kinda hard to make it in a little country like mine...

Tags: @goneandbackagain, @eightysix-baby, @heystovepipeboys

I know that a lot of my mutuals have already bin tagged, so just do it, if you want to :)

[halfblood-fiend]

On Humans and Nightmares - Star Trek TOS (with ST: Discovery lore), pre-relationship Kirk x Spock

Taking place shortly after the episode, The Conscience of the King, Kirk grapples with his dredged up trauma and Mr. Spock offers a solution taken from his own past personal experience with his adopted sister.

Words: 4,792

Rating: General Audiences

Warning(s): some hinting to the murder fate of Burnham’s parents, maybe some PTSD if you had annoying/irresponsible older siblings 

Read it on AO3

Jim Kirk sat at the desk in his dimly lit quarters and tried to focus on the words swimming in his vision as best as he could. No matter how stubbornly he stared, the words refused to stay put, to stay sharp. In fact, they seemed rather hellbent in proving this to be an exercise in futility. The reports on the PADDs blurred together in his mind until he couldn’t remember which he had read and approved and which he hadn’t. His itchy eyes and heavy lids were all but begging him to go to sleep. Just get some damn sleep, you miserable fool!

Funny. His inner voice of reason sounded an awful lot like Bones. That thought distracted and amused him for a moment and Jim tried to stretch out his neck and shift in his chair to keep himself awake. Because no matter how badly his body or that inner voice of Bones wanted him to sleep, he couldn’t listen to either.

Or wouldn’t listen to it, as was more the case.

For three days now, nightmares had plagued him. It was silly and childish, and very much not befitting of a captain, to be so afraid of the dark—of sleeping—but Jim thought that if he had to relive Tarsus IV again one more time it might just be the death of him.

Maybe he should have gone straight to Bones for help after the first. If he went right now, maybe he could cajole his friend into giving him some sleep-inducing hypo-spray. Jim considered it…and then dismissed it. The risk of Bones pouring him a glass of whiskey and sitting Jim down to make him “talk it out” was just too great. That was the last thing Jim wanted to do, no matter how good a medically induced death-like sleep sounded. No, he couldn’t risk Bones deciding to do his job this time around. Jim already knew, definitively, whiskey or not, that he did not want to talk about this. What else was there to say about Tarsus that hadn’t already been said before?

Kodos had murdered thousands of people, and then Jim just let him get away with it. Twice. He hadn’t listened to his old friend or his gut and then the murderer was allowed to just…die. All those souls who could never rest easy… Jim had let them all down. Four thousand souls sitting heavy on his shoulders. Like ghosts, they haunted him, plagued him with nightmares as penance for not extracting their justice in their name.

There wasn’t enough whiskey in the galaxy to numb that, let alone in Bones’ stash.

So his perfect and flawless plan to avoid the nightmares? Avoid sleeping.

Jim massaged his eyes with his fingers until black dots popped in his vision. He sat back, yawning, and then the door chime rang. For a heartbeat, he stared at the bulkhead and considered pretending to be asleep, until a nasty thought occurred to him:

Jim had already shirked his duty as a survivor, it would be shameful to avoid his responsibility as a Captain too.

He set his mouth. “Enter,” he sighed.

The door slid open, revealing his first officer in the hallway. Mr. Spock glided inside, his eyes glued to his own PADD. He was already speaking before he had made it fully through the threshold.

“Captain, there seems to be minute inconsistencies in the computer’s analysis of the geothermal data we collected on Al’her V. I wonder if—”

The Vulcan glanced up at Jim for the first time and stopped dead. The look in his eyes made Jim wonder what an awful sight he was, to give his first officer such pause. He tried to give Spock a smile, hoped it wasn’t more of a grimace. “You wonder if?” he prompted.

“Sir…” Spock cocked his head to the side. Jim had hardly known Spock to hesitate when he had something to say, and something in the timbre of the other man’s single syllable made him curious. Jim felt it teetered on the edge of something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He stared at Spock’s mouth for a moment, fascinated by it. Waiting.

No, he was thinking too much into it. He was delirious. Jim rubbed his face again and said a quick prayer to anyone listening that his exhaustion wouldn’t give way to impropriety.

At least, not today.

“Captain,” Spock said seriously, appearing to make up his mind, “are you well?”

To tell the truth or to tell a lie? To tell or to lie? There were merits and downsides to both, and Jim attempted to weigh them all quickly in his sluggish mind.

“No, Spock, I…” Jim began… and then lost his nerve. “I’m just tired is all.”

“Tired,” Spock echoed. His dark eyes flicked to the bright green letters of the chronometer beside Jim’s bed and then to the neatly tucked in sheets. Been that way for days. “If you have not slept since our last full shift on the bridge, I calculate that you will not have slept for nearly thirty-six hours.”

“Oh?” It was thirty-eight, actually. If one counted the two hours before their shift that Jim’s last nightmare had stolen from him. But who was counting?

“That is unsafe for a human, and more so for a starship captain. You should consider seeing to your needs for the greater benefit.”

Jim could only find it in himself to nod. He knew that already. He had given the same sort of lecture to himself, but the consistency of the nightmares made it difficult. Even if he did fall asleep, the snatches of rest he got were fitful at best. So, what did Spock know about it? Jim didn’t have the patience right now to listen to this.

His displeasure may have shown on his face, for Spock’s brows knit. He approached Jim’s desk and sat gracefully on the other side of it, laying his PADD aside. When the man spoke again, his voice was gentler, and made Jim’s heart ache in his chest.

“It is something else, isn’t it? Something, perhaps, to do with the travelling theatre troupe? I do realize how the loss of Govenor Kodos must have affected you.”

“How could you possibly realize that?” Jim spat before he could stop himself.

Spock may have appeared unmoved by the venom in Jim’s voice, but he felt immediately guilty anyway. Spock didn’t have anything to do with it, he didn’t deserve to be snapped at. He was even, quite unexpectedly, trying to help Jim.

His heart shriveled up in his chest. He backtracked. “I’m sorry, Spock. I… yes. Kodos or Karidian or whomever he was… his end was…dissatisfying to say the least. I’ve been unsettled ever since.”

“You are dissatisfied with his death?”

“I am dissatisfied with the lack of justice in it.” Jim considered saying more. He considered telling his first officer that it was unfair and frustrating and made him feel like the useless child once again, watching the horror unfold from behind the stands. Powerless once more. But these were all feelings, just raw emotions and Spock would never, either by his nature or by his own desire, understand any of those.

And Jim refused to unburden himself by burdening this Vulcan with his humanity.

Besides, Jim was sure that Spock was sure there was more to it anyway. It was hard to put anything past him. The other man’s interlaced fingers pressed to his lips; Spock’s lovely, deep-set eyes regarded him.

“One would assume you wouldn’t lose sleep over mere dissatisfaction. “

“They’re just nightmares, Spock,” Jim said quickly, realizing that he had to act fast if he wanted to wriggle out of the same impromptu therapy he had wanted to avoid in Bones. “Old faces. Old nightmares. Nothing to be very worried about, but still. I don’t sleep well.”

“Ah.” Spock nodded, more to himself it seemed. “And you hoped that staying alert for as long as possible would—”

“Make me too tired to dream, yes,” Jim finished for him. “That was the idea, anyway. I wish there was a guarantee it would work…”

Spock was quiet a few moments, his brows knit a little while he thought. Jim found himself sleepily taking advantage of the vulcan’s downturned gaze. He hadn’t been this close to Spock for some time, trying to give him the distance he deserved, even though Jim wanted very badly to be near him. Constantly, inexplicably. Vulcans, he knew, didn’t appreciate that. But maybe if he drank in Spock’s face now, Jim could replace his nightmares with far pleasanter dreams. Filled with long steepled fingers and black bangs and dark eyes, curving pointed ears and high cheekbones—Spock suddenly looked up, brightly, for a Vulcan, and took Jim aback. “If I may…Jim, offer something of a solution?”

His name! Jim didn’t think Spock had ever used his name before. He was surprised that he had used ‘Jim’ and not ‘James.’ It was more proper, more expected. Overwhelmingly curious, Jim indicated that Spock continue.

“It has been my experience that humans, as social creatures, garner direct benefits from social interactions. I…knew of another human who often had nightmares in the first several years that I knew her. These dreams went away with time and mental discipline, but a temporary solution could be found once she was no longer alone in a room. It is…an imperfect solution, and perhaps it would make you uncomfortable, but as an integral member of this crew with so many lives at risk, I hope you give it proper consideration, Jim. So, it is by this logic that offer my company in your room tonight so that you may get some clearly much needed rest.”

Jim stared. He couldn’t believe his ears. Spock was offering to—what? —stay the night with him? Keep him company? That couldn’t be right. That seemed...so out of character. Not that Jim claimed to know his first officer very well beyond a spotless service record. Did he make a habit of keeping nightmare-having women company in their quarters? That wasn’t something that was on his file.

There is nothing else for it but to ask, Jim supposed.

“And…just what are you intending to propose? I am…afraid it’s unclear. Forgive me.”

Spock nodded as though there was nothing amiss and Jim wasn’t sitting across from him having an audible heart attack while being prodded with jealousy. “Not surprising given your sleepless state. I am offering my presence for whatever comfort you might take from it. It is my estimation that I may just as easily analyze reports in your quarters as in mine. Only here, I hypothesize I would aid in putting your mind to rest.”

Ah. So…just offering to stay over to be another body in the room. Jim tried to ignore the way his heart shrunk in disappointment.

He didn’t know what his imagination had been on about. That, all-of-a-sudden, Spock would crawl right into his bed was ludicrous.

And yet.

Rubbing his face again, banishing impure thoughts mingled with disappointment, Jim agreed. “It’s worth a shot. Better than what I’m doing, anyway, if I’m being honest. Though I will request that you don’t tell Bones. About the nightmares, I mean. He’d have my head if he knew I wasn’t reporting sleeping problems again.”

“It is my experience that our dear doctor has ‘had men’s heads’ for less, but I will comply.”

Jim smiled. “Bones is just a staunch believer in tough love, that’s all. I…appreciate what you’re doing, Spock. You will…wake me if—”

“I will keep an eye out, Captain, and wake you if anything seems amiss.”

Jim hadn’t missed the way Spock had switched back to his formal name-calling. He wasn’t upset about it. He wasn’t.

With a final lingering look, Jim rose and drowsily made his way to his bed. His heaviness hit him all at once. He had really managed to stay up for a long while, hadn’t he? He hadn’t pulled such a stunt since all-nighters in his academy days. But it wasn’t just his finals he was risking anymore. Spock was right about becoming a danger to his ship, of course. Jim was putting all their lives at risk with his fear.

He had half a mind to crawl into bed in his clothes, both for ease and to protect Spock’s eyes, but Jim knew he could never get comfortable like that. So he stripped down to his briefs and dove into bed as quickly as he could manage. He blushed, but made sure not to glance back at Spock, presumably still sitting at the desk.

Don’t think about him watching you undress.

Closing his eyes, Governor Kodos’ face swam into Jim’s vision right on time, but it didn’t bring with it the pangs of anger or regret. This time, the half-shadowed memory hardly bothered Jim at all.

This time, Jim didn’t have to face his demon alone.

Spock resumed his previous manual calculations and noted that Jim was quiet for several hours. It was just as well.

For a moment after he made his offer, Spock experienced a fleeting pang of regret, a sudden nagging at the back of his consciousness that he was being far too forward with the Captain.

Obvious, to put it bluntly. He was being obvious.

Whatever base attraction he had to the captain had to be controlled and ignored. He mustn’t let him know. Not because the Captain would be cruel or make an ordeal out of it—he wouldn’t, Spock was certain—but because Spock would never be able to live with the soft pity he could vividly imagine in Jim’s eyes if he learned of Spock’s infatuation.

Tonight, he had nearly given himself away.

While logical for a human to require the comfort of another person in the room with them to sleep, Spock had promptly assessed that his offer was being taken in a more physical direction than he had originally intended. Jim’s blank and uncertain surprise had all but confirmed it.

Spock caught and corrected his behavior, as he so often did around Jim, but decided not rescind his solution.

The offer, after all, had been genuine, and from genuine experience.

Since her arrival in their home, Michael Burnham had been plagued with nightmares.

At first, her shouts in the dead of night from down the hall were irksome to him, disturbing Spock either during his late meditation or his own slumber on numerous occasions. When it became apparent they would be a regular occurrence, Spock found himself uniquely concerned. Not only for himself, and how being woken through the night might affect his days in the Learning Center, but also for the affect it had on his mother, who was most often the one who would go to Michael and console her. He never spared much thought for the wellbeing of the new intruder, Michael Burnham until some time later.

After Michael had lived with them for a few months and his concern now included her, he got up the nerve to ask about her nightmares. It was a particularly cool afternoon, late in the year, and they worked together on assignments in a sunny spot on their kitchen table.

“Why do you have nightmares every night?”

Michael turned furtive in her seat across from him. She pulled the textbook they were sharing nearer to her PADD and pretended to be engrossed in it.

“What are they of?”

Shrugging, she mumbled, “I dunno. Just...bad dreams, I guess.”

Spock could tell she was lying but could also tell that pressing the issue outright would yield him no new results. He judged a new tack of lending helpfulness would fare better. Humans, generally most people, responded well to being helped by their peers.

“When I have bad dreams, father cautions me to meditate on them. Being afraid of them gives them power. He says it’s better to face it outright—”

“I guarantee you that we don’t have the same bad dreams, Spock.” Her voice was cold and hard, and her eyes did not move over the text in any attempt to appear she was reading anymore. “Can’t you just drop it?”

“I want to help you,” Spock insisted, leaning forward in his chair. “If you don’t do well in the Learning Center—”

“I’m doing fine!”

“No, you’re not. Your productivity is declining by 2.3 percent a week and your response times are most likely inhibited by—”

Michael clapped her hands to her ears and squeezed her eyes shut, crying, “Just STOP IT! Can’t you see I don’t want to talk about it? Just STOP ASKING!”

This was not going as well as he planned. “I only want to help—”

“My parents were murdered by Klingons right in front of me! I have to hear it every night! You can’t help that! NO one can!”

Spock's mouth snapped closed and he stared across at her. For a long time, he couldn't think of a single thing to say. What could be said?

And before he realized an apology should be tumbling from his lips, Michael had scooped up all her study materials and rushed from the table, tears streaming behind her.

Sybok slouched into the room just as Michael pushed past him. He looked up at Spock with bleary but accusing eyes. “What did you do now?”

“Nothing!”

“They might not have as much control over their emotions as our kind, but even humans don’t cry for ‘nothing’.”

“I wasn’t doing anything. I was trying to help!”

His older brother’s lean face was impassive, but Spock swore he saw the glint of mischief in his eyes. “Of course,” Sybok scoffed. “You did a great job.”

Scowling, Spock shoved away from the table and collected his own things.

Don’t be mad. I don’t feel anger. The way his human eyes pricked in the corners were in direct contradiction to his thoughts.

Spock was trying to help. And what did Sybok know about that? All he did was stay shut up in his room, sometimes for days on end, until Amanda lured him out with food. Spock didn’t think he had ever thought about helping Michael.

“Where are you going now?”

Spock ignored him. He kept his head low, intent on pushing past Sybok if he tried to stop him. But he met no resistance.

“How about you try not to make it worse this time,” Sybok called after Spock as he reached the stairwell.

Without glancing back, Spock took them two at a time.

He would speak with Michael again. He would apologize. He would—

But he never did get to that day, or any day after. The next time he saw Michael, she acted as though nothing had transpired at all. Spock had been forced to let it go.

Until one night, when both Sarek and Amanda were out for the evening at a dignitary’s gala.

Spock had nearly fallen asleep when a scream—Michael’s scream—echoed through the house.

Turning over, Spock pressed his pillow around his head and attempted to go back to sleep. Sybok was in charge. He would handle it in his parents’ absence. Likely in the same indifferent way he had handled “dinner”, but he would handle it all the same. Michael’s wellbeing wasn’t Spock’s problem tonight. Their parents had said…

And then a small, timid knock on his door roused him from the edges of a hazy dream.

Rubbing his eyes, swallowing his annoyance, Spock threw himself out of bed and stomped across the floor. He yanked on the handle, and there Michael stood, with tears in her eyes. Sneaking a glance down the hall, Spock saw Sybok’s door firmly closed and Michael’s thrown wide open.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, struggling to keep irritation out of his voice. “Are you hurt? Do you require a healer?”

Michael shook her head, but still the tears ran silently down her cheeks. “M-may I enter?”

Without a valid reason not to, Spock stood aside for her. She wiped her nose and tried to gather herself in the dark room as he waited. He focused on keeping perfectly still to keep his foot from tapping. It helped to busy himself counting the seconds of lost sleep in his head and attempting to calculate the impact they would have on his marks at the Learning Center the next morning. In the end, it was impossible to be accurate because his data was incomplete without a single important variable: how long this interruption would take.

“I can hear them, Spock,” Michael said finally. She was quiet and her voice sounded raw on the edges from crying. “Have you ever heard a Klingon growl before? My dad, he shouted at them, but he couldn’t stop—my mom—” Whatever else she might have said choked off in a sob.

Spock’s eyes grew wide and his body became tense. He was not equipped to deal with…this.

Suddenly, Spock understood. Sarek had informed him and his brother before she arrived of the fate of Michael Burnham’s real parents and warned them against asking Michael about it.

“Humans don’t often wish to discuss such things,” his father had said. “They find these emotions difficult to process and attempt to avoid them. You should respect that desire until she is ready.”

Sybok yawned in a way that felt very purposeful, but Spock had diverted Sarek’s reprimand by asking, “How long should we expect that to take?”

He pressed his mouth in a line as he stared at his eldest son for a moment before answering his youngest, “It is impossible to approximate. Perhaps she will never choose to speak of it, but we must maintain that it is her choice to do so.”

How he wished he had made the connection between this and Michael’s nightmares. It seemed so obvious now.

To his surprise (or maybe relief) she didn’t say any more, though neither did her tears subside. Spock wondered if he should attempt to comfort her somehow, but found he was ill-equipped to do that either. Spock couldn’t even raise his arms to offer a hug. He just stood there motionless, mouth glued shut, tongue like lead.

Helpless. Useless.

Michael finally spoke. “Would.. would it be okay if I slept in here with you? I could get my blanket and stay on the floor? Usually Amanda comes and stays with me until I go back to sleep, but… but…”

But his mother wasn’t here, he finished for her.

Spock licked his lips and tried to speak, but still nothing would come. The request didn’t seem outlandish, through his mind pricked with a strange desire to do more. But what, he didn’t know, so he nodded.

As Michael dashed away to grab her things, Spock tried to reconcile what it must have been like to relieve the loss of your family over and over again in your dreams. Being tortured by the other children was one thing. The vague monstrous shapes of his imagination that haunted his own nightmares was one thing. But a memory that wouldn’t leave you? He tried to imagine his mother screaming, his home burning, his father fighting the hulking shapes of Klingon warriors wielding fierce glinting bat’leths, and Spock understood. His heart ached terribly, and he felt his own hot tears prickle at the corners of his eyes.

Inappropriate, as Vulcans do not cry. Shaking his head, Spock bid the imaginary specters to leave him alone, assuring himself that the only danger threatening his mother and father tonight was an overabundance of champagne.

By the time she had returned clutching her duvet and pillow, he’d regained control of himself.

Michael closed the door behind her and followed him back towards his bed. She stopped short and tossed her pillow on the ground by the thick rug protruding from under the bed’s feet.

Pausing in pulling away his covers, Spock made a quick and logical decision. “That is unnecessary,” he said, finding his voice at last. Maybe he couldn’t describe his empathy to her, or fully realize how awful it must have been to relive your parents’ final moments, as he still had his. Maybe he couldn’t quite give the Terran the exact comfort she might have needed, but Spock was convinced he could still do something. “Your dreams have already deprived you of hours of restful sleep tonight. I see no reason to spend the rest of your time in discomfort when my bed is plenty big enough for the both of us.”

Michael, wide-eyed and disbelieving, looked from her pillow on the floor to Spock’s large bed. “Are…are you sure?”

Admittedly, he swam in it most nights. “Yes. It’s logical.”

She blinked at him a moment more before scooping the pillow up and climbing up onto the bed, dragging her own duvet behind her. She wriggled to the far side as Spock clambered in after her.

“Good night, Spock,” Michael whispered as he gathered his own blanket around himself.

He hoped it would prove to be now. “Good night, Michael.”

They both quickly fell back asleep and did not wake the rest of the night.

It was the first of many such encounters in their youth, and eventually, she stopped asking permission at all. It came to be that whenever Spock heard his door open, rousing him from sleep, he rolled over to the side to make room for his sister.

There was a marked difference, she informed him objectively, in the consistency of her nightmares when she had his presence beside her.

Spock was satisfied he could similarly aid his captain, now.

Just as he decided to settle in for a meditation, Jim’s rest took a turn for the worse. He began to pant and to moan piteously as he shifted in his bed. Then he thrashed, a twist of limbs and blanket. The only intelligible words that could be discerned by Spock’s ears was “No.” The single syllable left his lips in a string and ended in a final, barely audible, “Not them.”

Spock crossed to Jim and deliberated a moment. The Human’s handsome face was scrunched as though he were in pain, lovely mouth open and gasping for breath. Spock reached a hand towards Jim’s forehead, but paused. No, that seemed like a severe breach in manners. Many humanoids did not appreciate their minds being invaded without permission. He didn’t know the Captain quite well enough for that.

Yet.

Spock pressed the thought from his mind with vague irritation and considered alternatives when Jim suddenly rolled over away from him towards the wall. The new position exposed an ample amount of space on the mattress, ample enough to—

With hindsight, Spock realized he could have—and perhaps should have—wakened Jim and let events unfold from there. But in the moment, with Michael’s ordeal still on his mind, and wanting Jim to have a full night’s peace, Spock did what he would continue to argue was “perfectly logical” for days later. Even when he knew, deep down and with burning shame, that it very much was not.

He dispensed himself of his polished black boots and carefully tested his weight on the edge of the mattress. Spock watched Jim closely, searching for any indication he was waking. All he saw was Jim’s broad back heaving, his head twitching minutely on his pillow. It appeared to be safe enough. He was not disturbed.

Spock climbed into bed behind the fitful captain and when that alone did not appear to ease Jim’s heartrate, he snaked his arms around the other man’s waist. Michael had found this comforting in their youth, he reasoned, and most, if not all, Humans gained distinct benefit from touching others. He would ask forgiveness later, he decided, closing his eyes. He listened to the erratic patter of Jim’s heart and labored breathing, counting the beats and noting their rhythm.

Jim’s relief with the pressure of his arm was very nearly instantaneous. Tense muscles in his back and neck relaxed, a long sigh parted his lips, and, slowly, minute by minute, the frantic heartbeat settled. As Jim relaxed into a deep sleep, he pressed himself into Spock’s chest and the Vulcan noted that he fit snuggly. Almost as though it was where he belonged.

Spock roughly shoved the thought from his mind before it could have the chance to plant itself and grow.

This is logical, Spock thought firmly, settling his head onto the Captain’s second pillow. This is necessary to protect the rest of the crew.

His own fluttering heart was the only thing brave enough to call him a liar.

Thank you for reading! <3