#phoebe mentioned once that I Know The End was inspired by the times she would drive up to her grandma's house in NorCal

[unkoshersalt]

I don't know how else I can describe it exactly other than that some songs on punisher just feel... very northern California.

[forbiddendrabbles]

Masterlist and Links

Links

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Masterlist

Current In-Progress Works (Updated 2/28/2024):

✍️ Physical Education AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: The akuma class came to school expecting a normal lesson. They did not expect to be frisked and told they won’t be going home for the rest of the sexual education unit. Marinette and Adrien especially didn’t expect to be to be demonstrating as live models.

✍️ A Pretty Good Bad Idea AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom Rating: Explicit Summary: For The More The Merrier Poly Ship Event 2024, hosted by the Miraculous Writers' Circle. ~ “We’ve been, uh… discussing the possibility of having a threesome,” he admits, quiet enough that only she hears. “With a woman,” he tacks on. Marinette takes a moment to appreciate her former partner and his husband. She traced the lines of their figures, eyes dancing across their muscular forms. Downing a shot, she looks at the two men before her. “I’ll do it, if you want.”

On-Hiatus Works (Updated 9/10/2023):

✍️ The Queen of Mean AO3 FFN

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: Inspired by "The Queen of Mean" from Descendants 3 and a deleted fanfic. When Lila pushes Marinette too far, she finally snaps. It's up to Adrien to figure out if he can bring her back. Love square-centric. ON TEMPORARY HIATUS. READ THE TAGS (Author Profile on FFN!!!). I do my best to keep triggers updated in the tags and in each chapter's notes. (It's too long of a list to put on here)

✍️ Save Me  FFN

Fandom: Doctor Who Rating: Mature (Explicit) Summary: Eliora Turner was not your average girl. The physical/mental abuse that went on at home destroy her. Until one day, a man calling himself the Doctor decides to help her. If she can stop trying to kill him, that is. TW: Rape, Self-harm, Abuse, Mentions of Substance Abuse, Sexual Assault, Eating Disorder(s), Depression/Anxiety, Violence, Scars, light BDSM elements. SMUT. On-Hiatus. (9/1/2023) Current Status of Save Me: I'm probably going to put it on permanent hiatus/discontinued and post what I have left, but I need to sit down and actually get that uploaded, which I haven't had the time or concentration for.

Completed Works (Updated 3/5/2024):

✍️ Dead Girl Walking  AO3 FFN

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: One-shot Songfic based on "Dead Girl Walking" from Heathers the Musical. Inspired by a line at the end of Chapter 14 in designnette's "Surfaced" on AO3, where Adrien asked if Ladybug broke his window, and that lead me to writing this fic. When Lila tells Marinette she has until 8am on Monday before her social life dies, Marinette can think of only one thing she wants to do. Or rather, one person. Smut. Oneshot. TW: Drinking, Dub-Con (if you squint), Panic Attack, light BDSM

✍️ Our Hope AO3 FFN Tumblr

Fandom: The Thundermans Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: Backstory for this: was in the mood for some good old-fashioned thundercest and came across @bbshipper21‘s fic “Brownies, kisses and confessions.” Then I was scrolling through to see if there were more pieces farther back in their blog and came across this prompt. I don’t know if the people they tagged ever wrote anything, but I really wanted to try. I’ve never written for this ship, and I normally write in the first person, not the third, so this is probably a little bit awkward, but I figured I would post it anyways. I don’t know if @bbshipper21 is still active, but if they see this, I hope I did it justice. TW: Incest (Max/Phoebe), Brief Suicidal Thoughts/Actions

✍️ I'm Gone, Gone, Gone, Gone AO3

Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics) Rating: Not Rated Summary: He thought of Robin. Robin is magic, he once said. Robin is a symbol of hope. Jason didn’t have any left. TW: Suicide, Self-harm, Alcoholism, Sleeping Pills, Depression, Gun Violence

✍️ Coffee is Still Better AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom Rating: General Audiences Summary: My gift exchange fic for the Maribat? Get In! Discord 2023/24 New Years Gift Exchange! ~𐀔~ The noxious aroma polluted the streets, subjecting the poor Parisians to the smell of burning gingerbread cookies. Wait—burning gingerbread cookies?

✍️ Crushed Shell  AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: Title says it all, honestly. TW: Major Character Death

Series - Requests

✍️ Sweet Sixteen and Ten Emotions AO3 FFN

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: Requested by JBlaser on Fanfiction.net. When Chloe's mother breaks a promise, her best friend tries to show everyone who Chloe is inside. It doesn't quite go as planned, though. Reveal, but not a big part of the plot. Oneshot.

✍️ Hard Earned Knowledge AO3 FFN

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: Requested by Raxius on Fanfiction.net. After Shanghai, Adrien begins to tutor Marinette while Mei Shi begins to tutor Fei, and Gabriel…well, he’s coping with the things *he* learned. Oneshot. TW: mentions of death, grief, unhealthy coping, therapist making light of the situation. If the Mandarin is wrong, blame Google Translate XD

✍️ Pink AO3 FFN

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: Requested by Raxius on Fanfiction.net. Set during Mr. Pigeon 72, Adrien can’t help but turning a little bit pink when he notices someone’s pink swimsuit. Or: Adrien, unfortunately, is a teenage guy. Oneshot. I did my best to make the story realistic to canon age-wise, but closer to reality in content. Puberty is rough, man. I am not a male, so I apologize if his actions are not 100% accurate in the eyes of someone who has a male appendage. I hope I did it justice though, as it was a big part of the plot. TW: Sexual situations/thoughts of minors, puberty

Series - Miraculous Writers' Circle Sprint Fic Challenges

✍️ Secret Passageways AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: When sneaking into the Agreste house to secretly meet up with Adrien, Marinette accidentally finds a secret passageway and decides to investigate.

✍️ Love Child AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: Surprise! Character A has been hit by the ray of an akuma and is now pregnant! The catch? The other parent is the last non-familial person they said 'I love you' to... and Character A doesn't remember who that was! Write about A's journey solving this strange conundrum.

✍️ Hello Darkness, My Old Friend AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! Marinette has lost an earring, and is understandably freaking out. Well… we understand. But I want you to write this from the perspective of someone who doesn’t. A classmate or a parent or a passing citizen who can’t understand why Marinette is panicking so much over a €5 pair of earrings. It’s no big deal, right?

✍️ What's in a Name? AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: The first thing Marinette realized when she woke up was that she was cold. The second thing she realized was that she was laid on a steel beam at the top of the Eiffel Tower, in her pajamas…

✍️ Tag Teamed on the Tower AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: The first thing Marinette realized when she woke up was that she was cold. The second thing she realized was that she was laid on a steel beam at the top of the Eiffel Tower, in her pajamas… NSFW version Part One of Tag Teamed on the Tower: The Series

✍️ Joined at the Hips AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit (to be safe, could probably be Mature) Summary: An Unexpected Day Off: your character woke up this morning to find their kwami gone, and their miraculous still there, but powered down… with no explanation. Write about how they feel, and what they do. Are the other holders in the same position?

✍️ You See Me on the Cover of a Magazine AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Mature (to be safe, could probably be Teen and Up Audiences) Summary: While reading their favorite book, your character is hit by an akuma and magically sent into the book and is now the main character! Write about what happens!

✍️ The Sound of Soul AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: Luka enjoys hearing other people's music as it gives him such a clear view of that person and their personality... Except for [character]'s music has always confused Luka... and he wants to figure out why.

✍️ Tipped Off AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: An anonymous tip on the Ladyblog has warned that Adrien Agreste is Hawkmoth’s next target. Ladybug wants one of them to be with him at all times until the threat has passed. Adrien isn’t too worried about pulling this off, apart from the confusing issue that his father has taken a sudden interest in his life… Write about Ladybug staying for a very uncomfortable dinner with Adrien, Gabriel, and Nathalie.

✍️ It's Not Buggabye AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: Marinette’s identity is revealed very publicly and she has to renounce guardianship to save the miraculous. Marinette is now famous and loved for protecting Paris. The problem is she doesn’t remember any of it and has no idea what’s going on.

✍️ Suspects to Agreste AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: Reclusive fashion designer Gabriel Agreste has gone missing. Who are Roger’s prime suspects and more importantly - why?

✍️ With a Kiss...or Four. AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: Chat Noir and Ladybug are simultaneously knocked out during a battle and, not knowing what else to do, Plagg and Tikki go on the search to find someone to defeat the akuma in their absence... ... enter Luka who is now in possession of the cat and ladybug miraculous and the task of saving the day.

✍️ The Mother is in the Basement AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: A woman claiming to be Emilie Agreste just called Ladybug and Cat Noir on Ladybug’s communicator, begging for help.

✍️ A Big, Bright, Beautiful World AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: Oh no! Baby August has been hit by a grow laser and is now ten stories tall! But, weirdly, it's not an akumatization! How will the heroes deal with this?

✍️ Like a Thief in the Night AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: Chat Noir only breaks into the MDC boutique because his father's heard rumors of a lost jewel, part of the miraculous collection. Instead, he discovers just how much the neighborhood-loved business has been struggling when he finds a blow-up mattress in the back. And a petite woman swinging a frying pan at his face.

✍️ Buzz Buzz Bitch AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: It's common knowledge that catnip has a strong effect on cats... however, no one thought they'd encounter something similar for ladybugs! Now Chat Noir, Viperion, Rena Rouge, and the rest of the team have to figure out how to defeat an akuma while also dealing with their increasingly affectionate, blissed out leader.

✍️ I'm Very Bemused. Is This The News? AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: “Don’t be bemused, it’s just the news: Breaking news: Ladybug and Cat Noir are currently… robbing a bank? I… bear with me a moment, viewers… am I reading this right? …Yes? Yes, this just in! Our favourite superheroes are robbing a bank, apparently? Uh… we go live now to our reporter at the scene…”

✍️ Mend the Bond AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: His mother always told him tales of the knitting fairy. Every time he fell and ripped his clothing, he would leave a small trinket of offering and she would visit in the night to mend them. Of course, now that he was grown he knew she couldn’t possibly be real. Couldn’t… possibly…

✍️ You Can't Always Get What You Want AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: When Tikki awakened after a hundred years to a new holder, she was expecting someone young and ready to go. She wasn't expecting a middle aged rock star with a pet alligator as her new holder! What had Fu been thinking?!

✍️ Signs of Hearing Loss AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: The Sound of Silence - the entire world woke up today unable to speak. There’s probably an akuma behind it… Nothing else seems to be amiss so everyone has to go about their day as normal and sit tight, waiting for Ladybug and Cat Noir to fix things. Slight problem with that - Marinette and Adrien can’t transform.

✍️ The Time Xavier Ramier Kidnapped a CatBoy and Got Away With It AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: Mr. Ramier was enjoying a beautiful day in a secluded area (away from RogerCop) in the park with his pigeons when thump Chat Noir hit the ground next to him and was knocked out cold. What really surprised him was the hero detransforming right then and there. Write about what happens next!

✍️ KittyNoir AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: Oh no! Hawkmoth’s akuma backfired and now every adult in Paris is a toddler! Write about how our heroes tackle their newfound responsibilities and deal with teeny tiny parents and super villains!

✍️ 9 Things to Convince Bunnyx to Never Have Children AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: General Audiences Summary: Somehow, some way, Bunnyx was left in charge of Growing Up Miraculous, the daycare for children of miraculous holders! Between the chaos of dealing with Carapace and Rena's inquisitive (read: gets into everything) child, Mino and Polymouse's new bundle of joy, and the half dozen children between Chat Noir, Ladybug, and Viperion, Bunnyx doesn't know how she'll survive the day. Write about how our daring heroine deals with the hardest job she's faced since having to teach Hawk Moth how to do maths.

Series - TalksToSelf BirthWeek 2023

✍️ 7 - Breeding Kink (Honorable Mention: Babies) AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: For the TalksToSelf BirthWeek Prompts! Happy Birthday, Nils! Day 7: Breeding/Babies Pairing: Adrinette

✍️ Tag Teamed on the Tower: *Double* Double Penetration AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: For the TalksToSelf BirthWeek Prompts! Happy Birthday, Nils! Day 6: Threesome Pairing: Lukadrinette Sequel to Tag Teamed on the Tower, but can be read as standalone. Part Two of Tag Teamed on the Tower: The Series

✍️ 5 – Vampires (Honorable Mention: Crayons) AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: For the TalksToSelf BirthWeek Prompts! Happy Birthday, Nils! Day 6: Crayons Day 5 : Vampires Pairing: Félinette

✍️ 4 – BDSM (Honorable Mention: Ukelele) AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: For the TalksToSelf BirthWeek Prompts! Happy Birthday, Nils! Day 4: BDSM/Ukelele Pairing: Félukadrinette (TW: Incest ship)

✍️ 3 – Fireball + Creamer ;) AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: For the TalksToSelf BirthWeek Prompts! Happy Birthday, Nils! Day 3: Fireball + Creamer ;) Pairings Ch1: Lukanette, implied/mentioned Lukadrien and Lukadrinette Ch2: Kagaminette, implied/mentioned Adrinette and Adrigaminette There are two versions, hence the two different sets 😉

✍️ 2 – Voyeur (Honorable Mention: Among Us) AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: For the TalksToSelf BirthWeek Prompts! Happy Birthday, Nils! Day 2: Voyeur/Among Us Pairing: Félukadrinette (TW: Incest ship) Standalone but can be read as same AU as Day 4

✍️ 1 – Sofa AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Explicit Summary: For the TalksToSelf BirthWeek Prompts! Happy Birthday, Nils! Day 1: Sofa Pairing: Lukadrien

Series - MGI Third Server-versary

✍️ Day 1 AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom Rating: General Audiences Summary: MGI 3rd Server-versary Day 1 Prompts: Thunderstorm Foodfight Lovers to Enemies

✍️ Day 2 AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Superboy (Comics), Maribat - Fandom Rating: General Audiences Summary: MGI 3rd Server-versary Day 2 Prompts: Language Barrier Read/Seen [x] days ago Wildflowers

✍️ Day 3 AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: MGI 3rd Server-versary Day 3 Prompts: Sharpie/Permanent Marker Halloween Four Seasons (Rated T for the one time Jason says Fuck)

✍️ Day 4 AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Super Sons, Maribat - Fandom Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: MGI 3rd Server-versary Day 4 Prompts: Silver Lining Pet Names "If the world comes crumbling down, I'm not going to stick around to pull you from the rubble." - downwithwritersblock (Rated T for the one time Jon says Fuck)

✍️ Day 5 AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: MGI 3rd Server-versary Day 5 Prompts: "There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full." - Henry Kissinger "What have you done" Follow (Rated T for the one time Marinette says Damn and for implied violence/drugging to make Tim sleep)

✍️ Day 6 AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Maribat - Fandom Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: MGI 3rd Server-versary Day 6 Prompts: "I thought I knew you." "Go on. I dare you." Broken Mirror (Rated T for unintentional self harm)

✍️ Day 7 AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Super Sons, Maribat - Fandom Rating: General Audiences Summary: MGI 3rd Server-versary Day 7 Prompts: Shiny Spelling Mistakes "Blanket thieves don't deserve rewards." - downwithwritersblock

✍️ Revenge of the Sleep Deprived Safety Hazards AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Superman - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom Rating: General Audiences Summary: My gift exchange fic (and art!) for the Maribat? Get In! Discord 3rd Serverversary (Serversary?)! "They’re talking about Goldilocks, Peter Pan, one of the SpyKids, Hello Kitty, and Captain Underpants. One of them stole and/or destroyed the magic beans."

Series - MGI CIVIL WAR 2024 - DAMIAN DOMINANCE

✍️ We Can Meet in the Space Between AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom Rating: General Audiences Summary: For the Maribat? Get In! Discord Civil War Event ~🦇🐞🦇~ "She slips through the veil formed in the in-between, allowing us to meet.” He pauses, voice thick with tears as he finally gets to speak of the woman he loves more than life itself. “…Our love was written in the stars. Her soul just got there before mine.”

✍️ Innocent AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom Rating: General Audiences Summary: For the Maribat? Get In! Discord Civil War Event ~🦇🐞🦇~ “No, you- you must be mistaken. There’s no- No! Take me there. I- I can save her. I can save them! There’s got to be--!” Dick holds him back, keeping him from leaving. His heart shatters as his little brother breaks down in his arms. “No,” he whispers, voice broken as he sobs. TW: Major Character Death, implied suicidal thoughts (if you interpret the single line that way), Loss of Child Part Three of We Laughed. We Loved. We Lost.

✍️ A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom, No Fandom Rating: General Audiences Summary: Any artwork/collages/mood boards/etc that I make for the Maribat? Get In! Discord Civil War Event

✍️ Over Before It Began AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Summary: For the Maribat? Get In! Discord Civil War Event ~🦇🐞🦇~ “Marinette! What, exactly, did you do?” “I…attacked a man for being happy with his partner, screamed at him for betraying me, and ran away. I think I hit him like three times, oh my god.” ~🦇🐞🦇~ Rated T for cursing and the singular use of the word 'erection', in the context of crudely saying one person is interested in another (ie. to have a hard-on for someone), but make it formal Part One of We Laughed. We Loved. We Lost.

✍️ A Work of Art AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom Rating: Explicit Summary: For the Maribat? Get In! Discord Civil War Event ~🦇🐞🦇~ “Now, listen to me,” he growls. “You’re going to very carefully sit on the pedestal and spread your legs as wide as you can. And then, you’re going to keep your legs spread while I devour you. If you mess up my paint, I’m not going to be pleased. Do you understand me?” A wide-eyed nod. “Words.” “Yes, sir.” “Good girl.” ~🦇🐞🦇~ This is a oneshot. Second chapter will be the same thing, just with art. Actual fic length is ~9.4k words. Can be read as stand-alone. Or as a Sequel. Or as a Prequel. Or both. you can't see me, but I'm doing jazz hands Part Two of We Laughed. We Loved. We Lost.

Series - Bad Idea AU

✍️ A Pretty Good Bad Idea (See In-Progress Works) AO3

✍️ I (Don't) Need A Bad Idea AO3

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug, Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom Rating: Mature Summary: The alternate meeting scene from A Pretty Good Bad Idea, which got nixed for not being as good. It was the initial draft, though.

[1025cherrystreet]

funeral

y/n attends a funeral and feels hopeless after losing her best friend until she meets her late bsf's cousin Harry.

a/n: this is for @harrystylescherry​ Playlist Fic Challenge!!! this is inspired by the song Funeral by Phoebe Bridgers. i used the name Phoebe in the story but i wasn't picturing Phoebe Bridgers when I was writing that character, i just liked the name and decided to go with it! but, y'all can picture her however y'all like lol. i went from loving this story to hating it, but i hope y'all like it! any feedback is appreciated!! <3

**despite it being surrounded by depressing matters, it's actually a cute and fluffy story lol! just wanted to point that out because i, myself, kinda avoid reading sad stories

warnings: a LOT of talk about death and dying and funerals, mentions depression/depressive episode?, mentions drugs and alcohol, swearing. i'm ceo of rushing the ending, soz <3 (also, gave up on proofreading lmao)

word count: 8k+ (this is the longest piece i've ever written lol)

Y/N has this dream. Where she's screaming underwater while her friends are waving at her from the shore. She's desperately calling for them, hoping and waiting for them to help, but, seemingly, her friends can't hear... and can't help. Submerged beneath the thrashing waters, her wails fall silent; her familiars deaf to her pleads. The more she struggles to get to the surface for air, the deeper she sinks. Her friends just waving at her as she drifts to the bottom. Every time she jolts awake from these dreams in a sweat stained bed and sticky clothes, she decides to brush it off. Not wanting to think about the problems she needs to face or what she needs to work on. Always concluding that she doesn't need anyone to tell her what it means or overanalyze her life through misplaced visions. Deciding to not believe assumptions made from vague, painful pictures.

As the familiar sinking feeling in her chest starts yet again, Y/N snaps her eyes up at the casket as the sound of her best friend's mother releasing a heart wrenching sob catches her focus.

The contrast of the white roses that lay on top of Phoebe's mahogany stained casket almost glow in the evening light, seeming like a mock to such a somber evening. The way the living looks so effervescent and bright, casting shadows on the less fortunate. The dead never celebrated in such light but rather mourned in dim grief and sadness.

Y/N doesn't like funerals, and not just because her best friend of 10 years is the recipient of this one. She's never cared for them. Believing they're just an excuse to get over the one they are to be honoring, they carry a stigma that everyone in attendance has to cry or you're seen as heartless, while the people who were never close to the deceased are presumed fake for showing emotion. Y/N thinks they're a big joke... with a cruel, cruel punchline.

The sound of despondent music playing and cries ring throughout the cemetery as Phoebe's casket is lowered six feet into the ground. The unchecked emotions start to boil inside of Y/N. Anger boiling deep inside of her quickly reaching its point, anger that stems from betrayal, that stems from hurt, that stems from...loss. She quietly scoffs, shaking her head with a stone cold look, before quickly getting up and walking away from the ceremony as her late friend's uncle, Bill, wraps up his poor excuse of a eulogy.

Phoebe wouldn't have wanted this. She wouldn't have wanted people to cry over her casket, stuck laying in a padded box while people who don't even know the real her, speak of her existence like they were the best of friends. They weren't. She was. Y/N was her best friend. These people don't... didn't know her like Y/N does. It's all bullshit.

In Y/N's quick pace away from the tent around the damp open ground, she spots a bigger gravestone with a stone bench built into it and takes a seat.

She inhales deeply, taking a moment to herself to look up at the sky. The clouds that overcast part of the blue sky drifting farther away from the graveyard as the sun starts making its way to set. She breathes in, the delightful scent of honeysuckle and dewy grass filling her nose before it's tainted by fumes of petrol from the road just on the other side of the cemetery gates behind her. It's so unfair; why of all people did Phoebe have to-

"It's all a joke," A deep accent says to her left.

She almost jumps out of her seat when she turns to the man who took the empty spot next to her. Jesus Christ, where the fuck did he come from? she thinks to herself. He had brown curly hair and green eyes (well, thinking green from what she can gather staring at the side of his face), wearing a black suit with a black button up shirt underneath. Rings clad his fingers and the sunset gleam shines off his cross necklace. She stares wide-eyed at him for a few moments before shaking her head to get out of her daze.

"Huh?" She says when she realizes he had spoken before.

"It's all a big joke," He repeats himself, the British accent more noticeable this time around. His head faced towards the funeral, having not spared a glance at her once this whole time.

She settles back into her seat, shifting her gaze to match his with the group of mourning people in the distance.

"Yeah." Y/N sighs in agreement.

The two of them sit in silence for a moment before Y/N decides to speak. Thinking to herself that if anyone would listen to her thoughts, a man who's also ditching the shitty eulogy would be her best bet.

"They all talk about her as if she was God." She chuckles humorlessly.

He scoffs with a small smirk, "Far from it."

Another wave of silence crashes over them, before Y/N breaks it once again.

"She would've hated this," She whispers, "People she barely even knows crying over her like they had any significance in her life. She probably only talked to five people here. She didn't even like her uncle." She laughs, referencing the man who gave the half-assed eulogy about how Phoebe being such an innocent, bright young girl.

"They're grieving her loss instead of celebrating her life, it's all fucked," He clears his throat before continuing, "Funerals are for the living."

"I hate funerals..." She says in reply.

Glancing at the boy beside her when she hears him digging through his jacket pocket, pulling out a flask.  He takes a sip, and another, before gesturing it to her. Not overthinking it too much, she takes the cool metal bottle and takes a big gulp. Tasting the burn of vodka in her throat and mint from what she supposes is the mysterious strangers mouth.

Handing the flask back she says, "She would've wanted a party. Something where everyone was having fun in her honor, not some substandard funeral full of random people and careless words."

This time he's the one who chuckles humorlessly, "Yeah, she would've wanted everyone t'take shots and dress up in fancy clothes n' wreak havoc on this fucking town,"

Y/N smiles at this because Phoebe really would. Phoebe was the type of person who everyone wanted to be friends with, but also who everyone was scared of. She was mysterious and intimidating (a bit like the man next to her, Y/N thinks). Phoebe was a master at persuasion and could get almost anyone to go on crazy fucking adventures with her. One of Y/N's favorite memories with Phoebe was when they dressed up in wedding dresses they had gotten from a second-hand store and walked down the street yelling random things at strangers, taking turns drinking tequila from a metal water bottle.

"She really was something else, huh?" Y/N says a bit somberly, reminiscing on her late best friend.

"Definitely, a know-it-all," He laughs, bringing the flask up to his mouth.

"Oh, of course, she always thought she was right." She smirks.

"I mean, most of the time she was." He shrugs.  

"Yeah, how did she always know everything?" The two of you laugh, taking turns drinking from the flask.

He shakes his head in disbelief, silence settling over the pair again.

"How did you know her?" He asks, still staring at the gathering of people in the distance.

"...She was my best friend," Y/N responds quietly, still staring out at the sunset.

He hums in return, "You?" She asks as she hands the flask over.

"Her cousin." His rough voice speaks out.

"You're Harry?" She says, less as a question and more in disbelief. Phoebe always mentioned her cousin Harry from England, always telling Y/N of stories they had together getting into reckless shit.

She turns her head to look at him just as he does, "And you're Y/N."

He offers a soft, knowing smile, both having heard countless stories of one another from Phoebe. He leans back and extends his arm on the top of the bench behind her, feeling the warmth of his body radiate off of him.

"I wonder what she'd say to me now. Sitting on a random gravestone in our hometown, drinking out of her cousin's flask, ditching what's supposed to be her remembrance." Y/N says, leaning back on the bench too.

"She would've said, 'quit y'crying, it's a sign of the times' and then would drag your arse t'the nearest pub." He laughs.

She joins in on the soft laughter, shaking her head because she knows that's exactly what she would've said. Phoebe was such a joy to be around, her presence unmatched.

"You know, she always talked about wanting to leave a legacy behind. Most of the time, I just laughed at her, thinking it was just another bizarre thing to come out of her mouth. But, she was always saying she wanted to be remembered as some enigma when she dies..." Y/N recalls the many memories of her and Phoebe staying up til 4am talking. Chills suddenly covering her body, not only from the cool Winter air but because of how Phoebe had talked about her death and now she's actually...dead.

She turns her head to look at Harry and he has a bittersweet smile on his face.

"I think she's accomplished that quite well, hasn't she?" He replies.

"How?" She questions softly with furrowed brows.

"Well, f'starters, her funeral is full of people who never even knew her, or frankly even cared about her, while two emotionless people just got up and stormed away from it t'drink vodka out of a flask on some random person's gravestone." He laughs before tacking on, "Trust me, the people over there are wondering who the hell she was and who she knew, right about now."

She turns her head from the (quite pretty, she thinks) boy to her left, looking at the wake, only to be met with a few people staring back at them.

"Well, I'll be damned," She scoffs. "Of course, the bitch did it." A smile bright on her face, probably the only real grin she's pulled since Phoebe's passing. Her best friends wishes coming true makes her heart warm just a tad, a relief to how cold losing her best friend made it.

"Always able t'make her life seem like an episode of Pretty Little Liars." He says shaking his head with a knowing smirk.

This comment makes Y/N laugh quite loudly, drawing a few — what she could only think were glares — back at her. Wiping a stray tear from her face that fell due to her laughing. The sweet sound coming from her lips only tacking on Harry to join her.

"Oh my god, she practically lived in an indie movie, always the role of the mysterious main character!" She chuckled out, creases forming at the corners of her eyes that Harry has taken a liking to.

As both of their laughter slowly dies out, another silence comes over them; only this time it's almost deafening. It's like the weight of the matter finally settled in.

Harry lets out a deep sigh, staring out at the never ending field of stone. Flowers accompany very few of the many graves; some wilted, some looking fresh, some long gone by now. Name placards littering the ground, all of these lost and forgotten people just decomposing underneath them. People coming and going to visit, only to be forgotten as time goes by, memories fading from their loved ones' mind. He wonders if he could ever forget Phoebe. No, I could never, he thinks to himself. He could never forget the only person that ever truly believed in him and embraced him for being himself.

Deciding he doesn't want to give anymore thought to the painful insight that one day he might forget Phoebe, he asks Y/N something instead.

"Y'wanna get out of here? M'starvin'."

The quiet girl next to him looks his way, his green eyes meeting her's that shine in the last few minutes of orange sunlight. Her eyes are so pretty, he tries to mentally shake that thought out of his head. He can't be hitting on his late cousin's best friend at her funeral, for fuck's sake.

Y/N only nods in response, gathering her bag and phone before standing from the bench. Harry towers over her when he gets up and the observation of how tall her his makes Y/N feel all giddy inside for some reason. Placing the flask back in his suit jacket pocket, he leads the way to a small restaurant nearby. She walks beside him the whole way there, the two of them just quietly observing everything around them.

***

The crisp, cool air passes through, goosebumps creeping up their arms as they sit in the outside seating of a small restaurant. Comfortable silence wraps them up and spits them out as their minds explore all the vast depths of their troubled minds, giving them time for their treacherous thoughts to eat at their sanity bit by bit.

"Phoebe told me once," Y/N cleared her throat, trying to get rid of the scratchy feeling from not using it. Harry's green eyes moved to her from his observance of the lonely street they're next to as she spoke softly. "She told me the only time she truly felt alive was when she made decisions that were reckless and spontaneous. She said living her life precariously was the only reason for her happiness, claiming that the perfect life is just an illusion. That dreaming of labor should not be the goal, but instead becoming your authentic self and living with no regrets..."

Harry stays quiet, reflection in his eyes as he stares at her from across the table, chewing the food in his mouth. Y/N plays around with the food on her plate with her fork and waits for his acknowledgment (although, she doesn't even know if he would say or do anything -- she doesn't know why she decided to tell him that)

"I mean, she's right, righ'? I never understood when people would ask what your 'dream job' is from a young age. No one's dream is t'work everyday 'til they die. They have to, t'make a living and survive, but what's the point in living if you aren't enjoyin' it. But, if y'workin' all the time, how do you make the time to really live?" He says, furrowing his brows as he talks.

Y/N takes in his words. The moonlight and street lamps casting a soft glow on his face, his carved features looking even more beautiful at night.

"Yeah... I guess, I guess I just envy how she viewed life, ya know?" She states, looking at the cars drive by as she tries to explain how she feels. "Always saying things to make you rethink your existence and purpose..." She looks back at Harry and whispers, "...She talked about life so much like she knew she was going to die."

"Well, we're all gonna die eventually." Harry rests his arms on the table with a quiet sigh, his features passive, but his mind is thinking of how he just wants to hug her and tell her everything is going to be alright.

"Yeah, but she just...she talked about it like she knew all the answers. She knew exactly what to say, when to say it. Sometimes, I feel like she was telling everyone around her how to live in complete happiness because she knew she didn't have much of her own, despite convincing everyone she was carefree and unbothered." Y/N shrugs and watches as they fall into a short silence.

"...I miss her." Harry breathes out after a moment, reaching his hand across the table to hold hers. Her skin is soft against his as he rubs his thumb against her hand in an attempt to comfort both of them.

Her eyes soaking in his softened expression, her cherry tinted lips whispering, "Me too."

They eat the rest of their dinner in silence, the only sounds reverberating from the road with the occasional car or pedestrian. Harry pays for the food, but not without many protests from Y/N.

As the two walk side by side down the street, back to the cemetery to pick up their cars, Y/N suddenly falls anxious. She doesn't want to be alone tonight, scared of being alone with her thoughts when she goes back to stay in her childhood home. Her parents, still living in the house they lived in since her youth, had to drive up to another town for a few nights to stay with her cousins because they planned to go there before the news broke about Phoebe. Leaving Y/N alone in the empty house since there wasn't room for her at her cousins.

The black cemetery gates coming into view, eeriness and gloom becoming more apparent when the sun is down, Y/N and Harry can see their two cars sitting idly on the side of the road. Y/N fidgets with her fingers as they grow close to departure.

"D-do you, maybe, wanna hang out for a little while longer?" She turns to face him, looking up at him nervously. "I just don't want to be alone right now." She rushes out when he doesn't respond.

"Yeah, I didn't really want t'go home alone right now either." He offers a sliver of a smile before unlocking his car, grabbing two brown paper bags that look to hold bottles, and gesturing his head, "C'mon, we'll pick up my car later. Let's go celebrate Pheebz, yeah?" He grins.

She smiles at him, unlocking her own car and waiting for him to get in, putting on a playlist full of Phoebe's favorite songs. She drives through her hometown, memories stirring up of her and her best friend smoking weed in the park the summer before graduation and jumping in the lake naked in the middle of winter. The two end up at her house sitting in her abandoned driveway, both unbuckling but neither making the move to get out of the parked car, the engine still running as they sit listening to the melodies playing from the speaker.

Harry suddenly pulls out two bottles from the brown paper bags at his feet, one of vodka and the other tequila.

"Pick y'poison." He says with a smirk.

She picks the vodka and Harry mutters, "Good choice, tequila is more m'speed."

"Weren't you drinking vodka at the funeral?" She laughs, unscrewing the cap.

"Yeah, figured I'd drink Phoebe's favorite since it was her party." He chuckles.

"To Phoebe." Y/N says, sorrow lacing her voice as she turns in her seat to face Harry.

"To living your life precariously." He says before the two of them take a big gulp of the sharp liquid, starting what will only be the beginning of a long night.

***

Light shines through the white curtains, the room glowing bright in the soft, yellow sunlight. The white comforter tangled up in bodies as birds chirp in the morning tranquility. Y/N's eyes flutter open, immediately feeling sweaty and clammy. The headache that sets in reminds her of the amount of alcohol she consumed last night. Waking up in her childhood bed after blacking out in the backseat of her car the night before doing very little for her sanity.

As she lays in bed, groggy, she needs to pee. She moves to get up and walk to the bathroom connected to her room, only to freeze when an arm wraps around her and pulls her closer. Warm breathes pant at the back of her neck, unintelligible murmurs coming from the person behind her. Her eyes widen, realizing Harry is the one she is snuggling with in the early morning (afternoon?) light. Despite needing to pee really badly, she finds herself only melting into his touch. She can't remember the last time someone held her like this, can't remember the last time she felt this content. In fact, she thinks the last time she cuddled with someone was with Phoebe when she slept over in her room at their apartment... Well, just Y/N's apartment now.

Y/N and Phoebe would have movie nights in Y/N's room and in the midst of the fun, they would grow tired. Phoebe would never want to leave the comfort of Y/N's warm bed, so she always asked, sleepover?, with a wide grin. To which Y/N never refused and the two would put on The Notebook and fall asleep spooning one another. The first time it happened, when they were children having sleepovers, she tensed a bit; thinking it weird for her friend to cuddle her because no one had ever done that. But, as the years went by and their friendship grew stronger, knowing that despite both of them being bisexual it wasn't an act of intimacy, but one of platonic comfort.

So, Y/N figured (in her touch deprived mind) that this was just an act of friendly, platonic intimacy...nothing else. After coming to that conclusion, she let herself relax into his touch, his warm embrace nodding her off to sleep once again.

What wakes her up the second time is the sound of a gravelly voice groaning. The arm around her waist squeezes tightly before the body it's attached to tenses up. Harry tries to take in the position they're in -- his arm snuggling her close to his bare chest and legs intertwined with hers -- but his hangover headache clouds his mind too much to think about it. Only registering that he's never felt this comfortable with someone before, never felt someone so warm and cozy. He's cuddled lots of girls (and guys), has spent many mornings waking up in someones hold or holding someone in his, but they've never been as addicting as her. Never being so relaxing, so soft. He's about to just say, fuck it, and fall back asleep as to spend as much time with her in his clutch, but Y/N had stirred awake from his groaning and she really has to pee!

She slowly turns in his arms, their legs shifting apart, and is met with probably the cutest sight she's ever seen. His eyes are glassy and the green of his irises shine in the soft light. His lips pink and his face holding a hesitant look, like he thinks she might yell at him for accidentally ending up in his arms throughout the night, but she can also sense the underlying feeling of content reading on his face. The way his eyes soften when they meet hers and the way his hand involuntarily squeezes at her side. The serene feeling almost tangible as her childhood room becomes their own little world. All the responsibilities and pain of the outside fall ceased at the door decorated with heights of a growing Y/N.

"G'morning," His gravelly voice going straight to her heart, melting it at the beautiful sound.

"Good morning," She says in a raspy whisper, her throat dry from the alcohol and singing at the top of her lungs the night before.

She takes the quiet moment to look at his body, her gaze drifting from tattoo to tattoo, not realizing how many he has. She knew he had some from the ones on his hands yesterday, but she didn't know he had so many. His long sleeve button up had covered the view of the ones adorning his arms, but she looks at them now in awe, thinking how pretty they are.

She's about to tell him how much she likes the butterfly tattoo on his chest, when her bladder has other plans.

"I'm sorry, but I really have to pee," She bashfully smiles as she looks at him.

"Oh, m'sorry. Probably should've told ya' I'm a cuddler." He gives a small smile with embarrassment soaking his words, thinking he's made her uncomfortable.

"No need to apologize," Her eyes light up at his out of character shyness, "I am too, I just really have to go to the bathroom." The harmonious sound of her giggles soothing every worry in Harry's body.

He playfully sighs, "Fine, I guess I'll let y'go piss."

A smirk pulls at his lips as she rolls her eyes and gets up, but he can see the corners of her lips turn up.

She goes to the bathroom, doing her business and washing her hands. She takes the time to brush her teeth and wash her face, cringing when she looks in the mirror. She feels gross that she looked like this when Harry woke up with the resemblance of an angel.

When she's finished, she walks out back into her room, excited to get back into the warm bed (and hopefully cuddle with Harry some more, but she would never admit that out loud), but she's met with abandoned sheets and panic consumes her. Did he leave? Did I make him uncomfortable by waking up in his arms? He was the one to cuddle me and he joked about it! But maybe he was just trying to be nice so he could escape? Her mind starts to race a mile a minute of anxious thoughts before they're all suddenly wiped away at the smell of coffee wafting in from the open doorway.

She throws on a sweatshirt and socks and makes her way down the stairs of the familiar, yet foreign after spending so long away from home, house. Her sock clad feet pad on the hardwood floors as she walks into the kitchen, spotting Harry silently staring at a spot on the wall with a cup of coffee in his hand (he's using the same pink and green mug with a little ceramic pig sitting on the top of the handle that Phoebe would use every time she'd sleepover in high school).

She walks in quietly, coming up behind him and grabbing a cup of coffee for herself, noticing the two pain killers next to the pot (which made her heart swell if she's honest). He had heard her coming down the stairs, but despite her presence his focus is still on the spot on the wall. Taking a sip of her pick-me-up and swallowing the pills, she takes up space next to Harry, following his eyes that stare intently at a picture frame hanging up and her eyes immediately soften.

"That was freshman year," Y/N spoke delicately, staring at the picture herself, "We had both been asked to prom by these senior guys. I was ecstatic because no one had ever shown any liking to me, but Phoebe had played it cool, of course." Harry lets out a quiet breathy laugh because of course Phoebe didn't care.

"We spent weeks planning out how prom night would be. Imagining how the senior parties would be like and if the boys would kiss us by the end of the night or not. She came over at 9am the morning of the dance and we spent all day getting ready and laughing with each other. She had even done my makeup all pretty and I helped her get into her dress. I remember I laughed when she decided she was going to wear converse under her dress, and she almost convinced me to do it too because she said 'you're not gonna be the one laughing when we're at all the after parties and your feet are killing you'." A genuine smile forms on Y/N's face as she reminisces on the cherished moment.

"But, two hours before the dance, our dates cancelled on us and told us they were going with these senior girls." Harry scoffs bitterly, understanding how cruel teenage boys are.

"I remember I was so upset because the one time I thought someone actually liked me or thought I was pretty enough to go to prom with, had just made me a second choice..." She recalls to Harry, who is now looking at the side of her face as she looks at the picture of Phoebe carrying Y/N on her back, piggy-back style, in long prom dresses, dirty white converse peaking out from under both girls' dresses.

"So, she grabbed me by the arms and looked me in the eyes and said 'Y/N L/N, we are deserving of the love we wish for. No senior boys are going to make us doubt that. We are not little freshmen girls who can be seen as cheap thrills and easy hookups. We are women, who demand respect and complete infatuation.' Then she took the tickets that the boys had pre-purchased for us, took my hand, and dragged me to that dance. We had been each other's date and made prom our bitch. She even got us into a party afterward...And we had one hell of a night."

She smiles fondly at the sweet memory. Harry's eyes flutter between the picture and the beautiful girl next to him. How could she ever think of herself as a second choice?, is all he can wonder to himself.

Letting his gaze fall to the picture one last time, he mumbles, "Well, those boys missed out on the best thing t'ever happen t'them."

He doesn't catch Y/N's blush that creeps up on her cheeks as he turns around, taking a sip from his little pig mug.

She shakes her head as to get out of the crushing haze she falls into, turning and walking to the countertop, leaning against it as Harry stands in front of her on the other side.

"Thank you. F'letting me stay the night, last night." He speaks up.

Y/N notices how he's still lacking a shirt, making her mouth dry up just a little at the sight of how fit he is. The tattoos stretching across his tan skin so perfectly, the black ink creating such a beautiful contrast on his body. He catches onto the not-so-subtle gawking and smirks.

"Uh, yeah. It's really no problem. There's no way I'd have let you drive home intoxicated and it was the least I could do after I made you practically spend the day with me." She blushes.

"Y'didn't make me," He shakes his head gently with a smile.

Y/N doesn't know to feel about how her cheeks heat up at his remark, shyly looking away as the teasing gleam in his eyes might make her combust.

"O-okay. Good to know." She squeaks out, the action only fueling Harry's ego and playful mood.

"I should go get m'car from the cemetery before it gets towed," He says almost disappointedly, like he doesn't want to leave yet. If she's being honest, she doesn't want him to leave yet either.

"Yeah, that wouldn't be good. I'll give you a ride." She says, shaking off the saddened feeling of his departure.

"Oh, you don't have t'do tha'." He shakes his head but Y/N quickly shoots him down.

"Nonsense, I'll take you. It's no big deal."

He smiles at her objection, nodding, and going upstairs to grab the rest of his clothes, feeling uncomfortable in his dress pants from the funeral that he had put back on when he got up this morning, not wanting to make Y/N feel weird by staying in only his boxers.

***

Vodka Lover: hey... are you up?

She chews on the skin around her thumb, a nervous habit that Phoebe had always teased her about, as she sends the text to Harry (having exchanged numbers when she had dropped him off at his car at the cemetery). Phoebe had always said, 'You're not gonna have any thumb left to chew, babes, if you keep at it'. To which Y/N just rolled her eyes, but in the deafening silence of 4am, she wishes she cherished those moments with her best friend more. Wishing she didn't take for granted in those little encounters of Phoebe's care and concern with her well-being. Y/N would give anything to be able to spend one more minute with her.

Butterfly Boy: yeah, everything okay?

Vodka Lover: um, can i call you?

Suddenly, breaking the bitter quiet with a ringtone, her phone she holds in her palm lights up with Harry's contact. A tear falls from her face onto the screen and she has to wipe it away before she presses accept.

"Y/N?" Harry's deep voice rings out, laced in worry, from the other line.

She chokes out a sob, not being able to hold it back anymore. The floodgate of her emotions she has been trying to keep at bay suddenly burst. Salty tears fall onto the blue fluffy blanket from her senior year she's wrapped up in.

"Hey, hey, s'everythin' okay? What's wrong?" Harry says, more alert now that he hears her in such a fragile and frantic state.

Y/N just cries harder, desperately trying to catch her breath, she feels like she's suffocating.

"Hey, love, just breathe. Just breathe, Y/N." He tries to coax her down in a soothing voice.

A raggedy breath is heard on Harry's side, making the worry dissipate just a little now that he knows she's breathing. Harry sits up in his bed, calling out to Y/N, repeatedly telling her to just keep breathing. He can't get to what's wrong if she hyperventilates.

He was laying restless in his bed when she had texted, lost in thoughts of life and replaying memories with his cousin. Trying to grasp everything she's ever told him before, hoping that by watching the moments he spent with her like a film reel in his mind would help him not forget them.

"Love, can y'tell me what's got you so upset? Please," He asks softly when she calms down enough where her breathing is regular and not sporadic inhales gasping for air.

"I-I-I miss her," She cries out into the phone, the thought of embarrassing herself by breaking down to Harry not on her mind; the only thought she has is how empty she feels.

"I know, I know, love. I miss her, too," He sighs out sadly, wishing he could take away her pain, hating the way her voice quivers with every word. "Do you want t'talk about it?"

She wipes the tears that sting her eyes and cascade down her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. The one she wore when Harry slept over, smelling a little like him still from the car ride to his car that day, three days ago.

They had been texting each other and talking every day since then, usually about light topics like asking how their day's were or what they were doing. However, tonight (or early morning), everything felt like it was crashing down on her. Y/N's strong front she had put up since the funeral for Phoebe's family finally collapsed, and she's found herself stuck under the rubble. She was trying so hard to keep it in because she shouldn't be feeling sorry for herself when someone's kid is dead.

She had bored herself to tears, not knowing what to do. The only thing that seemed right was to call Harry.

"Talk to me, babe." He begs her, running a hand through his disheveled curls.

"I-" She sniffles, "I feel like I'm fucking drowning,"

He hates how defeated her voice sounds and he wishes he could just be there to hug her and tell her everything's going to be okay, eventually.

"It-it feels like my whole life is in ruins. Harry, I miss her." Her face scrunches up again as she starts to sob, "Sh-She was my best friend, I d-did everything with her. How am I s-supposed to do this without her? How am I supposed t-to live without her?"

"Oh, darling. I know, but you will..and you can." He frowns, racking his brain for the right thing to tell her, "You got t'live so you can experience all those ways of life she always talked about. Y'haven't experienced all those feelings Pheebz would mention when she would live her life precariously. Don't y'want to know how she felt when she would talk of such a beautiful life she lived, yeah?"

He hears a hiccup and a quiet, albeit breathy, yeah, from the other side of the call.

"You are so strong, Y/N. I don't know how y'made it this far without breaking down..." He tells her whole-heartedly.

"D-don't know how you haven't either," She gets out, realizing how selfish she's probably being, bothering Harry with her grief when he has his own to deal with.

"Honestly," He breathes out through a somber smile, "The only reason I haven't is because I have you, love."

Y/N's heart swells tenfold, she thinks. She didn't realize Harry needed her just as much as she needed him.

"...I'm sorry for calling you, I know it's late." She says through sniffles when she notices the time.

"There's no reason to apologize. It's okay, love. It's okay to hurt or be angry or upset. No one expects you to be perfect all the time." He pauses, listening to her breathing.

"Ya know, one day, it won't hurt this much. One day, you'll be able t'look back at this moment and it won't break y'heart as much as it does now. You're just in the thick of it right now, pretty girl. But, the light's coming soon, I promise." He continues and Y/N feels her heart beat faster at the pet name.

"You promise?" Her voice barely above a whisper and Harry thinks his heart just broke at the sound.

"Promise." He says, wiping the stray tears rolling down his cheeks, "Phoebe wouldn't want y'to be this upset. She would want you to keep living your life and find out the ways to how she was so in love with it. If not for yourself, love, then for her...F'me."

She nods, despite knowing he can't see. Silence falls over the pair, only the sound of bated breaths assuring the other one is there.

"One summer," He speaks up, "One summer, my family had come t'visit them, partly because of the lake near her house. It was after we had moved t'the States from Cheshire, and Phoebe and I would go walk to the little pond near the park,"

"The one near Hope?" She asks quietly if they had gone to the park she had always played at as a little girl.

"Mhm. We would walk there in the blistering sun and when we got there she tried to convince me how fairies were real." He said in a calm voice.

He hears an airy puff of breath escape her mouth, which he takes as a small giggle -- making him want to continue his story as it's helping her cheer up, and because he'd probably do anything to hear her that sound from her.

"Yeah, fairies. She told me that they live at the pond and t'see them, I would have to find a pretty flower and then jump in the water with it in only m'underwear." He breathes out a laugh.

Y/N gasps, trying to keep quiet but fails when she lets out a loud laugh.

"Oh my, did you do it?" She asks bewildered, laying down so her head rests against the pillow.

"So, I told Phoebe 'no way', yeah? But, then she said she can't just tell me about them and not follow through with seeing them. Convinced me that it would bring bad luck." He scoffs, remembering the memory vividly.

"Bad luck, indeed." She giggles and it brings the dimple out on Harry's face.

"Yeah, so of course, me being like 8 or sum', I stripped down to m'pants in the middle of the day and jumped in the water." He smiles when he hears her laughing, even if it's at his expense. "Y'laughing, but I think I got ringworm after tha'!"

"I can't believe she got you to do that! I wish I'd been there." Y/N says, out of breath from laughing.

"Scarred me of ponds for the rest of m'life." He chuckles and a pause takes them both over as they settle back down. 

"...Thank you, H." She whispers into the phone, adoration taking up all her features.

“F’what?”

“For being you, for being here. Just...Thank you.” She sighs. 

They get lost in recalling stories of their loved one for the rest of the night, repainting her memories in gold. They laugh with each other until all the pain seems to disappear. The weight, of what felt like the world, lifting off of both their shoulders. Finally being able to breathe after days of endless battles of trying to stay strong for Phoebe's sake.

***

Days pass since the lonely 4am phone call and Y/N and Harry are still talking everyday.

She finds out he lives in her city, only a few blocks from her apartment she shared with Phoebe! She didn't believe him when he first told her, but he said he was always busy with college whenever Phoebe tried to meet up. Y/N's not going to lie, her heart picked up when she found out he'd be so close to her, wondering if he'd want to hang out with her when they leave her hometown.

Almost everyday of the last few days they have visiting, they've spent at Y/N's empty childhood home. Harry asking her to explain pictures and what she was like in high school, whenever he gets the chance. In turn, she's been picking his mind on what Holmes Chapel was like and how his family was growing up. She found out that he lived with his sister, Gemma, and his mom, Anne. They talked about everything, from their favorite things to every pet they've ever had (Y/N, particularly, falling in love with the pictures of his cat, Evie).

Just as the last few days have been spent, they are spending Y/N's last day in her hometown together before she goes back. Harry told her he had to stay a couple more nights with his family before he could leave, assuring her he would've gone back with her if he could've. That comment made her blush and she had to pray the butterflies growing in her tummy to relax.

That's another thing. Y/N had stopped lying to herself and denying the ache in her chest that would form when she was away from Harry, growing very fond of him since their first encounter at the headstone bench.

Harry, also, couldn't deny any longer the way his heart would flutter at every little thing she did. Just wondering to himself how everything about her was just so pretty. He loved the way her eyes would light up every time she saw him and how he would catch her checking him out whenever he took off his shirt.

He especially loved the way she let him sleepover a few times and how they would end up cuddling into the late hours of the morning. Both parties not minding one bit, the comfort and warmth actually preferred than sending Harry home to sleep in his own bed.

"Bet I can reach that branch right there," Harry shouts with a gleeful tone, a bit out of breath as he tries to stretch his legs far enough so his shoe brushes against the leaf on the end of the tree branch.

The two of them decided to go to Hope park, where they both held fond childhood memories at. They settled at the swingset, calm swaying in the seats quickly turning into a competition of who could swing the highest. Harry won of course, his legs being much longer than hers giving him the advantage. Playful giggles and sweet conversations of things occurring in that moment help distract them from both Phoebe and the fact that Y/N is leaving.

Y/N is distracting herself from worrying about if Harry will reach out to her when they get back to the city, if he even wants to talk to her again after this weekend or if this was all just out of politeness.

Harry, on the other hand, is distracting himself from wondering if she fancies him. He wonders if the cuddles and small touches meant as much to her as they did him, if after this weekend she would want to hang out again or if she was just being nice because he knows what she's going through.

"Bet I can reach it before you!" She giggles as her hair whips around in the wind she's created. Pumping her legs back and forth, desperately trying to get higher so she can beat Harry in her made up competition.

"Now, love, not everything has to be a competition," He huffs, really reaching out this time, "But, I wanna win, if we're playing a game, I wanna win." He grins, the cute dimple that Y/N has fallen for making an appearance on his face.

The two try their hardest to be the first ones to touch the tree branch hanging not too far from their swinging feet at their highest point. Harry, however, attempts a little too hard and flies off the swing when he lifted up his leg to make the two inch gap he was short of.

Tumbling to the woodchip covered ground, he ends up laying on his back. Groans spill out of his mouth and Y/N's eyes go wide with concern. She slows herself down just enough to safely jump off the swingset, rushing to Harry's side.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" She asks worriedly, trying to hold back the laugh that's trying to bust out. Crouching down to him, she runs her hand over his arm that's grabbing his leg.

He rubs his knee with a pained smile, "Yeah, just peachy, pet."

"Is anything hurting? Bruised?" She questions with a loving smile.

"Just my ego," He chuckles, looking up at her and admiring her caring nature.

She can't hold it in anymore, she laughs loudly at his comment, her carefree happiness making Harry's ears perk up and his heart warm.

"Yeah, love, just laugh at the crippled man." He jokes, smiling up at her happy face, wishing it could stay that way forever.

She lets out another laugh at his comment, delicately grabbing his arm to help him up, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It wasn't funny," She attempts to calm herself but fails, "Okay, it was a little bit funny!"

Giggles fall out of her mouth as Harry brushes off the mulch from his jeans, "See how much you're laughing when I push you out of the swing."

"I'm soo scared." She mocks fear.

"Oh, just wait, pet. You'll never be safe on another swing set again." He playfully grabs her sides to tickle her, but her fighting his tries just ends up bringing her closer in his hold.

Their laughs quickly die out when they realize he's holding her in his clutch, his hands at her waist, hers around his neck. Harry stares into her eyes as she stares back into his. The empty park is serene, no other noises besides the chirping of birds and the sounds of other animals sprawling about. The sweet moment causes Y/N's breath to hitch and her palms to sweat. They've only been this close when cuddling, she's never been this close to his face before. His features glow in the sunlight, his green irises complimenting the bounce of his skin and dark eyelashes. Her skin is soft and warm against his, and he just wants to lean in and-

Y/N's eyes flutter close as Harry's face comes closer, his lips meet hers in a gentle caress. With the sweet kiss, he takes note of how soft her lips are, how warm and fuzzy her intimate touch is making his head. While one hand is squeezing at her side, the other is brought up to cradle her face and she leans into his touch. Harry sucks on her bottom lip before peeling away so they can catch their breath.

Y/N lets out a whine at the loss of contact, her bottom lip jutting out as he pulls away.

"What are y'pouting for, pet? W-was that not okay? Should I not have done tha'?" The blood almost drains from his face at the pouty look on her beautiful face.

She shakes her head at him, "No, I liked it. I want more," She pants, pulling him by the collar of his shirt to bring him back to her lips.

He chuckles at her cute antics (and in relief of not fucking up his shot with her). He smiles against her lips as he melts back into her, her hand around his neck reaching up to tangle in his curly hair. He groans when her nimble fingers pull tenderly at the curls at the base of his neck, causing him to squeeze her side gently.

She breathlessly kissed him, slotting her lips between his and immediately opening her mouth in acceptance when he brushes his tongue against her bottom lip in a silent ask to take it further. As the kiss deepens, the need for air increases. They naturally separate, Harry sucking her bottom lip as he goes until it pops back.

Taking in her reddened swollen lips and her pretty flushed face, he presses one last chaste kiss on her lips, and one to her cheek and her nose.

A big, genuine grin adorns Y/N's face as she stares up at the man in front of her.

"Thank you f'letting me do tha'." He says with a gravelly voice.

"I've been thinking about you doing that since the first night you stayed at my house." She tells him bashfully.

"Me too, love. And it was better than I ever expected," He says whole-heartedly, leaning in to press one more quick kiss to her lips again.

"So, does this mean we're gonna hang out when we both go back home? Because I really want to do that again." Her glassy eyes blink at him with hope awaiting his answer.

He smiles and shakes his head, bewildered at how she could ever think that he could just ghost her after that, "I think Phoebe would come back just to slap me upside the head if I ever kissed her best friend and just never saw her again."

She chuckles at his comment, shyly looking down to her hand on his chest when he doesn't say anything else.

"Of course, I want to hang out when we get back. I want to take y'out on a real date, if you'd let me."  He looks at her all starry eyed, squeezing her waist.

"I think Phoebe would come back and slap me upside the head if I ever kissed her cousin and just never saw him again," This time he's the one that laughs.

"I'd love that very much, Harry." She beams up at him.

Going back home couldn't come sooner to the both of them.

******************

ahhh i hope y’all liked that, i’d love feedback :) i’m thinking of making a series out of it, but only if that’s something y’all would like! so, pls let me know if you enjoyed it or if i should make a part 2 ?? 

anyways, stay safe and much love <3

[mysoftboybensolo]

The Alienist and the Soprano

Chapter 29: The Concerns

A/N: This was inspired by Laszlo’s love of opera and my thought on what if he fell for an opera singer. Multi chapter. Canon divergence, there is no Mary Palmer here (I loved Mary and Laszlo, so I don’t feel like I could have her here and have him be with another woman). A mix of show and book canons. No Y/N, OC named Evelina Lind, face claim is Phoebe Dynevor.

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32029150/chapters/91225516

Pairing:  Laszlo Kreizler x Fem OC!

Summary: The last thing Laszlo Kreizler ever expected while investigating the death of children was to fall in love, and with an opera singer no less!

Warnings: Age gap, mentions of child prostitution and drug use.

 Stevie wanted to get to work on the nursery right away, too excited at the prospect of a new family member, but Evelina had wanted to take it slow. “Otherwise,” she countered, “We’d be done in a week and have nothing else to keep us occupied. And besides, we’ll have the time to get it all set after I have finished performing. As I still have a job after telling them the news,” she added half joking, but also worried that they would be upset with her for becoming with child quickly without much warning.

If a roof could have exploded off from sheer excitement, the opera house could have done so. There was of course, the usual teasing of how quickly she fell pregnant, and concern of whether this means the end of her career. “I have no intention of leaving here until it is my proper time,” she cleared the air once and for all, “I’ll take whatever time I need for the baby and then be back to work. I’m not ready to give music up, so I hope that opera won’t give up on me.”

“Not at all,” Ernest said warmly, “And if you do not feel up to play Mimi then we’d understand.”

“I intend to play her before going off for my new role as mother, and I couldn’t think to pass up such a wonderful part. But I promise, if it becomes too much, I will be sure to let you know.”

Her earlier fears of not be able to sing properly were quickly proven wrong as she went through the first rehearsal with no trouble and had felt even more excited at the idea of her being able to perform. Much credit had to be paid to Mrs. Vidal for her expertise in costuming, for she made Evelina’s costumes so that when the time came, she’d be able to let it out to make room for the growing belly and in a way that no one would notice or seem out of place.

“I told you that it would work out,” Laszlo said over dinner, “You’re one of the best singers they have, and I doubt they could afford to lose you, even if they had wanted to.”

“There’d be a public outcry,” Stevie spoke bluntly.

“Now, Stevie, there are many wonderful singers there, not just me.”

“Any singer who can keep Mr. Moore awake is a superior singer in my book,” he remarked without blinking an eye, which caused Evelina and Laszlo to laugh.

The staff at the institute had been very happy to hear the news, knowing that he’d be a wonderful father, judging on how well he did with children not of his blood. Many of the children were happy for him, though there were a few who felt as though they would be forgotten and lost when the doctor has a child of his own to care for. “I’ll never stop caring for you all,” he tells those children, “You will always have a special place in my heart, and metaphorically speaking, it’s big enough to love many people. You were my children before I ever had my own, and I owe you all a debt of gratitude as you have helped me through my own doubts and concerns. Never forget it, you’ll always matter to me, even when you’ve long left this place and even forgotten me. I’ll never forget any of you.”

It was true, Laszlo never would forget them, but he began to have a new kind of fear, what if he couldn’t balance the love he had for the institute children and the love of his own? “Are my hours at the institute so very long, my love?” he asked later that day in the kitchen.

“Not so very long,” she explained, cleaning up after dinner, “The afternoons when I am home I wish for you to return sooner, but I think you feel the same when I perform in the evenings. What brought this on?”

“Some of the children were worried that when the baby comes, I’ll favor the baby over them, or worse that I’ll forget all about them. I told them I wouldn’t, but I wonder, would I put too much effort to make sure the children at the institute are looked after that I forget my own? Will I become that job obsessed father who barely has time for his children and never truly know them?” He sighs and shakes his head. “I know that I am possibly overthinking all this, but I can’t help but to worry.”

Evelina nodded and admitted, “I sometimes wonder about that too. I love my job, and I don’t want to give it up if I can help it, but I do worry about whether or not I can balance it all. I would hate to surrender one love for another, but if I must then I must. Nothing is certain, we can sit here and hope and dream of how it will all turn out, but until it happens we can never know. We just have to promise that we will support one another when that bump in the road comes, and that we do what we think is best for our children. It won’t be easy, but I think it’ll be worthwhile.”

“As long as they are more like you, it will be,” Laszlo spoke lightheartedly.

She smiled back, “Oh, I don’t know about that. I’d like our children to have your keen mind and stubbornness. They’d be formidable against the world.”

The feeling of sharp claws on his legs caused Laszlo to cry out and see three kittens trying to climb up him for a closer cuddle. “And these little hellions,” he laughs, “I think it’s about time they found their new homes.”

“Well, Mrs. Vidal was promised one, just need to find where the rest will go.”

Laszlo had heard of a theory that animals could help children and thought to bring Andromeda, the most docile of them all, to test it out. It turned out to have been true, making her very popular with the children particularly the ones who dealt with anxiety and other emotional issues, and she became a member of the institute as an unofficial staff member. Heracles seemed to have been a favorite to Mrs. Vidal, who was adventurous but devoted and knew when to enjoy the silence. As a wedding gift of sorts, John and Sara were given Odysseus, rambunctious and clever, often getting himself out of trouble as much as he had gotten himself into it. John had suggested that Pandora, the pretty gray kitten, be given to his grandmother, seeing as she is in need of some company. It was a pleasant surprise and she had been very grateful for a new friend. Stevie wanted to keep at least one of the kittens, thus leaving Cassandra, who continued to knead Evelina’s stomach, with the Kreizlers and Daphne.

Things seemed to have been falling into place, but there was one thing that continued to weigh on Evelina’s mind, and it was of Stevie’s friend, Kat. It was a sad story, a young girl having to prostitute herself in order to make ends meet and a father who doesn’t seem to know or care that she is out there doing this. While she knew she couldn’t save every child in New York City, she was determined to do what she could for the children she did know.

Evelina invited Stevie’s friend over, wanting to do something to help and to get to know her better. Kat was a sweet girl, incredibly smart and brave, but Evelina could see the pain hiding in her eyes, pushed down in order to move on in life. Kat couldn’t believe that Evelina was Stevie’s adopted mother, she expected someone older, someone stiffer and more proper, not young, open-minded, and kind. She hadn’t judged the young girl for what she had to do, just wanted to do whatever she could to help. It scared Kat, the idea of getting her hopes up to only be dashed just as she had when she came to from the country to the city with promise of something better.

“You know, Kat,” Evelina said over lunch, which she held for the three of them to have, “My dresser at the opera has been in need of an assistant, says she’s a bit too old for certain tasks. It would be a big help to her if she had a young person to help.”

Kat looked at her incredulously. “Why are you asking me?”

“Because you seem like you could be the right girl for the job.”

“No, I mean, why would you want to help me?”

“Because Stevie trusts you, and you should be somewhere better than where you are.”

“Better? You think I’m low, don’t you? Well, I don’t need help!” Kat declared, standing up, not allowing either Stevie or Evelina to correct her, “Not from you, not from anyone!” She ran out of the house with Stevie following her, calling her name.

Evelina felt awful as she watched Stevie and Kat disappear into the crowd and was worried the entire afternoon into evening when neither returned. Laszlo returned in the evening to a despondent wife, and after finding out what happened was ready to go searching for Stevie, when he came home. “Oh, Stevie!” She ran to him, pulling him into a tight hug. “I was so worried! Where is your friend?”

“I lost her. Somewhere I lost her, and I don’t know where she is,” he says, his voice defeated and tears in his eyes.

“We can look for her,” Laszlo said, “We can continue searching, you and I.”

Stevie shook his head. “She won’t be found unless she wants to be. I’m tired,” he says turning away, “I’m going to bed.” There was nothing that either of them could say to help make Stevie feel better, so they had let him be.

“I feel terrible,” Evelina whispered, having not touched her dinner, “She left because of me.”

“She’s a scared child,” Laszlo said, after hearing the story, “What you said was not an insult, but sometimes, children who work hard to take care of themselves, feel that they’ve done something grand, not seeing that they are in danger. She’s been used to being on her own that she feels she doesn’t need help. We won’t stop giving it, because no child should be in the position she is in.”

It had been a few days before Kat had even been mentioned when Evelina, on her way to rehearsal, bumped into a bruised Kat, head held high but tears in her eyes ask, “Is that job still open?”

Taking her right to the opera, she showed her around and introduced her to Ernest, who had to be persuaded by Evelina to open a spot for her, then took her to Mrs. Vidal, who looked at the young girl with warmth and motherly care. “Hello, my dear. It will be most helpful to have a young lady like you around. The work is long but not heavy. You’ll need to be quick and have your wits about you, but I am sure you’ll catch on quickly. Think you’re up to the challenge?”

Kat merely nodded and had been silent as she followed Mrs. Vidal around and had watched in wonder as they performed a run through of La Boheme, never having seen an opera before, and though she didn’t understand a single word, she still felt a sense of wonder as they performed and she couldn’t stop herself from crying to see Mimi passing away.

Evelina was pleased to see the young girl enjoying herself and working well, especially with Mrs. Vidal, who offered Kat a place to stay for the night, and she felt at ease knowing another young soul was safe. It wasn’t easy, Kat had suffered from withdrawals from not having whatever drugs she had been on, but between the help of the Kreizlers and Mrs. Vidal, who took to the child dearly, she had managed to handle it well, and after two weeks, she found herself at ease with the opera house, moving about like she was meant to be a costumer and living happily with Mrs. Vidal and Heracles. Kat’s father tried to once exhort money from her now seeing that she had wealthy connections, even tried to blackmail her into it, but Laszlo would have none of it.

“You would try to blackmail your own daughter for your own personal gain? What you have done and what you’ve allowed her to do is barbaric, and certainly makes you an unfit father. She deserves better from you, from everyone else. Either you leave and never bother her again, or else I’ll call my personal friend Commissioner Roosevelt to lock you up the remainder of your pathetic life.” Laszlo was not one to just name drop people or to make threats of this kind, but for the benefit of another, he happily did.

Mr. Delvin had never bothered them, and would never bother anyone again, since he was found by the pier floating in the water face down, no doubt by someone who thought actions spoke louder than words. Kat had been incredibly grateful to Mrs. Vidal, to the Kreizlers, and most certainly Stevie, who was more than happy to have helped her.

“Another child saved because of you,” Laszlo kissed her forehead, helping his wife out of her daywear.

“It’s Stevie who brought her to my attention, and I only nudged her along to Mrs. Vidal, who did wonders with her. She’d tell me how bad the withdrawals were and I couldn’t imagine being able to do all of that.” She sighed when she felt the corset come off, and her hand ran across her stomach. “Little by little I am showing, what a relief.”

“When do you see Dr. Mallard again?” he asks, undoing her hair.

“Tomorrow, she says after that, the appointments will be more frequen-” Her words were cut off, making Laszlo look at her in worry, but then she smiled and reached for his hand. “Laszlo, feel!”

It did not take him long to found out what she was going on about, for he felt a strong kick that made his heart flip. “Is, is that the baby?”

“Yes, they’re kicking!” Tears sprang to her eyes, and she leaned against him. “Our baby is kicking.”

He can’t remove his hand from her stomach, not until the baby is tired and decides no more kicking tonight. He had to feel it, he had to be sure this was true, that it was not a dream. “I’ve never had felt anything like that before. It feels like,” he paused, struggling to find the proper words, “Magic.”

“Dr. Laszlo Kreizler believes in magic. Who would have thought?” Evelina teased but knew what he meant. It felt surreal to think that a life was growing inside her and that as each day passed, they were getting closer and closer to adding a fourth Kreizler and a start of a new chapter in their lives.

“It’s magic only because of you,” Laszlo admitted, then moving to caress her check, eyes grown tender. “I never thought I could be anywhere near as happy as this. Never to have a family of my own, to love and be loved by a wonderful woman like you. Even a cynic would believe in miracles in this case. I don’t think I say it enough but thank you. Thank you for all of this, thank you for being exactly what I needed and wanted. I hope I can continue to be as deserving of you as lucky as I feel.” He took her hand and kissed it with reverence.

“Darling,” she sighed, “My sweet Laszlo, you are deserving, I just wish I knew what I could say or do to make you understand how deserving you are of love and happiness. It appears that is my goal in life, to have you one day see everything around you and realize that you’ve rightfully earned this.”

“I’ll try to be kinder to myself, but-”

She placed a finger to his lips and stopped him. “No buts. If you can stand there and tell me how I am deserving of being loved by you, which I often question my right to be so, then you can stand to hear it from me. And you’ll have to get used to it, because you will be getting endless and unconditional love from our child, regardless of what happened to you as a child and what limits you may have. You are loved, Laszlo. Lovable Laszlo, that should be my new nickname for you.”

He smiled. “I’m only lovable because of you.”

“You have always been lovable, you just needed someone to point it straight out to make you see it.” Helping him to undress, she said, “No more lectures tonight, we’re both tired. We have long days ahead of us.”

Laszlo could have listened to her “lecture” all night, but he was dead on his feet, and she was right because the months will fly by and soon the baby will come, and they need to get through an opera performance, summer evaluations, John and Sara’s wedding and finally preparations for the baby. As Laszlo laid there in bed, he thought about all the happy things that will come with the baby. He’ll do all the wonderful things his father never did for him, hug and kisses, laughter and playtime, inside jokes and beautiful memories. No matter how nervous he was, he was even more excited at the idea, and for the first time, Laszlo felt no doubt about what kind of a father he could be, because he was determined to be better than his, and a new wave of feelings overcame him. Finally, he thought before falling asleep, I’ll know what paternal love will feel like, how wonderful.

Tagging: @cazzyimagines​​​​ @scuttle-buttle​​​​ @whatawildone​​​​ @violetmuses​​​​ @sokoviandelights​​​​ @flutterskies​​​​ @rumblelibrary​​​​ @fictionlandslanddreams​​​​  @somethingthatsaysbubbles​​​​ @alindeluce​​​​ @linkpk88​​​​ @valquiria3000​

[dramioneasks]

HP FESTS: For The Love of Fests (Part 1)

Love at Second Sight January 2021:

Second Time's the Charm by floorcoaster - T, one-shot - The first time Hermione sees Draco Malfoy again, she's in for a surprise.

Influence by Misdemeanor1331 - G, one-shot - Draco and Hermione bump into each other at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. Draco thinks it’s a chance encounter. Hermione knows it’s anything but.

The Love Boat by Seakays - T, one-shot - Hermione Granger and her two best friends are embarking on a week long "Divorced Magicals" Cruise. Hermione took advantage of the Cruise's pre cruise chat room, where she met Scorly1203. After six months of texting, she has agreed to meet him on the first day of the cruise. Could she really find a second chance at love on the Lido Deck?

Second Time Lucky by rennaissance_woman - not rated, one-shot - During a trip to Weasley Wizard Wheezes, what do you do when presented with a second chance?

In Vino Veritas by beautyberry - M, one-shot - "Granger?" he asked disbelievingly. "Malfoy?" she asked, "What are you doing here?" Rated M for mentions of sex.

The Art of Second Chances by Blessedindeed - not rated, one-shot - A chance encounter at the museum brings up unresolved feelings

What Lies Beyond the Light by SlytherinHermione - M, one-shot - The thing about prisons is that it tends to change a you. The person you were when you went in, will not be the person that comes out. Sometimes for the better, oftentimes for the worst. For Draco Malfoy, the scales were tipped when a certain lawyer forced themselves onto his case with the start of one letter. A letter that turned into the type of correspondence where you end up baring your soul to a stranger. A stranger that ends up knowing every little part of you, from the darkest corners, to the sunniest fields - while barely knowing you at all. But then again, Hermione Granger was never really a stranger to begin with.

Silly Love Songs February 2021:

This Beauty By My Side by Amarillis39 - M, one-shot - My entry to the Silly Love Songs Fest. ____ "But as he watched her glide through the crowd, he decided he would take every second she would give him. Worthy or not, he was still a selfish git." ___ It's another stuffy gala at the Ministry and Draco is overcome with conflicting feelings as he watches Hermione in her element.

The Light That You Shine by SlytherinHermione - M, one-shot - Draco was adrift. All around him was an endless, unforgiving ocean, dull and grey in colour.  The waves kept crashing in on him. Back and forth, back and forth. Sometimes he felt like he’d been cursed to remain like a graying tower, alone on the sea. This all changed on a random cold winter day and a bright light. Because what followed the light was as unexplainable as the feeling of calm that suddenly enveloped him. He felt a twinge of something that he couldn’t explain. On the other side of the sidewalk stood Hermione Granger, more beautiful than he could remember, locking eyes with him for a second, as if she herself was caught with him inside of this time bubble filled with light and large, fluffy snowflakes. And with a blink of an eye, she walked the other way, as if this was just another Monday. As if she hadn’t just turned Draco's world up-side down. The tumultuous oceans that surrounded his untethered soul were full of waves, but now of a different kind.

Discord by Lostinthenightrain - T, one-shot - “I’ve seen your darkest, and it doesn’t scare me. You’ve become something so much more.” She placed a gentle kiss on his jaw. “I love you, dark and all.”

Time to Spare by Willowfairy - M, one-shot - Draco gets drunk enough to finally tell Hermione how he really feels, and once he starts talking he finds it impossible to stop.

Sometimes When We Touch by sodamnrad - T, one-shot - What if Hermione and Draco were dating when he took the Dark Mark? Submission for the Silly Loves Songs Mini-Fest One shot | Draco's POV | Sixth Year

To Be With You by Blessedindeed - not rated, one-shot - Her ability to show forgiveness intrigues him. Draco finds he has a soft spot for Hermione.

Masquerade March 2021:

Punch Line by tygermine - E, one-shot - Hermione seems to hide behind multiple masks.Draco wants to remove them all.

A Deadly Dance by MykEsprit - T, one-shot - An unexpected guest arrives at the ball. Dramione.

Ask it of Me by WritingFicariously - T, one-shot - Hermione has always had the ability to chase away demons, the darkness that twists his mind into believing he is not good, never enough. She sees and knows every part of him. But Draco has always kept one thing from her, one secret that he never dared say aloud. Until he did.

A Masquerade of Body and Soul by Annav94 - M, one-shot - She’s here to escape the reality, to break the rules. She is here to break the rules because all rules have only given her, is false hope. She turns her head and her eyes meet his. He’s there for the catch of the night. And while he finds himself smirking, smiling at the unforeseen turn of event, he wonders if truly Hermione Granger is flirting in a room full of witnesses with none other than himself - the infamous Draco Malfoy.

Imbolc by CosmicCthulhu - G, one-shot - Hermione celebrates the beginning of spring for the first time, years after the war. She's not the only one who wants a fresh start.

Suit Up by calico_kitten - M, 2 chapters - Gawain Robards has cooked up a new idea for the Departmental Hallowe'en Ball: comic book hero disguises!

This Mask I Wear by SlytherinHermione  - T, one-shot - This mask I wear feels cool on my skin. I slip it on, and the act is ready to begin.Safety. Protection. Freedom.

Lover of Fiction April 2021:

3 Words, 8 Letters by sodamnrad - T, 2 chapters - “Do you like me?” Draco’s flitty looks, his tart remarks about her feelings for Blaise, the way he’s following her around instead of chasing an eligible witch who isn’t pining over his friend is extremely telling.“Define like.”Her mouth unhinges. No effing way. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”“How do you think I feel?” He glares at her. “I haven’t slept. I feel sick like there’s something in my stomach, fluttering.” He presses a hand against his belly, as if he’s experiencing the sensation at this very moment.“Butterflies?” she deadpans. “No. No, no, no this cannot be happening.”“No one is more surprised or ashamed than I am.” He gestures to himself, lifting his chin tersely.“Draco, you know that I adore all of Earth’s creatures and the metaphors that they inspire,” she says as her hand forms a crushing fist, “but the butterflies have got to be murdered.”---Draco & Hermione: Their Story (2000s TV Drama Style)Dual POV | 2 Shot | Idiots in Love

The Ambition by In_Dreams - M, one-shot - After ten years at sea, Captain Hermione Granger has a ship and a crew of her own. But one of her new crew mates is a blacksmith from her past. Dramione Pirates AU.

Jitters by TheMourningMadam - M, one-shot - This was written for the Lovers of Fiction mini fest for April. Thank you to QuinTalon for being a gracious host in this fest.My prompt was Jamie and Claire Fraser from Outlander. If you have never seen Outlander, why not? You at least need to watch their first time to see some hot and bewildered Jamie. This is a tiny snapshot into what would be a much larger story, so please take it at face value.Also, I finished this story right at the wire, so didn't have time for a beta. All mistakes are obviously my own and I apologize. Bold sentences are word for word from the tv show.

I Meant Something Like That by CharliPetidei - M, WIP - “You know what’s funny?” said Hermione, crossing her ankles and leaning forwards on the slightly peeling leather sofa. “When I first saw your advert online… I thought you were Hufflepuffs.” The three men opposite her exchanged glances, and then the tall, platinum blond one (it had to be dyed, right?) with the funny name leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. Draco, that was it. “You thought we were what?” A New Girl Dramione AU.

The One Where Everyone Finds Out - Dramione Edition by Annav94 - T, WIP - Don’t we all know what happened when Phoebe finds out about Monica and Chandler in season 5 of Friends? Well, what would then happen if it was Draco and Hermione to be discovered by Pansy? Would then Theo try to calm her down, in the hope that she would stop screaming so his boyfriend (Harry bloody Potter, of all people) would be prevented from finding out about them is such crude way? And would Blaise go along with the scheme the two Slytherins would come up with to push the new couple to expose itself or will he be done with all the ‘pretending’ of not knowing, when he knew all along?Stay with me on this journey called: ‘The One Where Everyone Finds Out - Dramione Edition’.

The Dragon's Moving Castle by SlytherinHermione - T, WIP - Hermione Granger had accepted that her life wasn't going to be a great big adventure.She wasn't particularly beautiful, or interesting, and she hadn't been born with magic like her sisters. Really, she was just as plain as could be.One day though, a castle was seen rolling around the hills near her town.Not long after, she met a strange, handsome, and mysterious man.And she was cursed by the Wicked Witch of the Wasteland.Perhaps life was an adventure after all.

Lanky Brunettes with Wicked Jaws by Lostinthenightrain - M, one-shot - “You’ve got types?”“Only you darling.” He put his hand under her chin and brought her around to face him. He pulled her close with his arm held tight against her.  His head to the side of her own, he grinned. “Lanky brunettes with wicked jaws.” A gentle kiss placed against her jaw. She smiled, a blush prettying her cheeks as she pulled back.

Reader, I Married Him by Lostinthenightrain - T, one-shot - “Why must you?” he questioned as he pulled himself forward, using the rough pads of his fingers he gently touched under her chin, dragging her gaze to his own. “You know why!” She wrenched her chin from his grasp. “You are to be married, Malfoy.”

This fest is ongoing.

[petersasteria]

Love Documentary - Harry Holland

Harry || Main || Taglist

Pairing: Harry x Reader

Requested? Nah.

3,470 words

TW; one mention of death, heartbreaking

* * * *

“Hi everyone! I’m Harry Holland and what you’re about to see, are short interviews that I did with people as I ask about what great love really is. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this love-filled journey.”

-

“Are you ready?” Harry asked and the old couple looked at him and nodded with a smile. Harry smiled too and started filming them. “So, how did you two meet?”

“We were childhood best friends.” The old man smiled as he reminisced the early days of his childhood. “I was a hopeless romantic and she wasn’t, but it all worked out in the end.”

“He was really cheesy.” The old man’s wife added with a laugh, causing Harry to laugh too. “He recited lines from movies just to get me to be with him. It was like he knew that we’d end up together.”

“Did the lines work?” Harry asked.

“They didn’t, but look where we are now.” The old lady smiled at her husband.

“We’ve been married for 60 years.” The old man proudly said.

“Are you each other’s greatest love?” Harry asked.

“I’d say we are.” The old man responded as the old lady nodded in agreement.

“We are.”

“So, for you, what is great love?” Harry asked. That was the important question. He needed that to be answered.

“Great love is loving someone unconditionally. No matter what happens between the two of you, you’ll still love them.” The old lady answered. “Right?” She looked at her husband.

“Right.”

-

Harry sits behind the camera as he watches the old man sit comfortably in his seat. The old man nods at Harry, signaling that he’s ready to be interviewed. Harry smiled softly and started recording.

“Please tell me your name, sir.”

“My name is Henry and I’m 82 years old.” Henry, the old man, said. Harry nodded before looking down on his notebook to write Henry’s name and age. After doing so, he read the question that he wrote there earlier.

“Who is your great love?” Harry asked.

“That’s easy; it’s my wife.” Henry answered with a sweet smile. “She’s the loveliest person you’ll ever meet and she makes the most delicious pancakes from scratch.”

“She sounds lovely.” Harry smiled. “How long have you two been married?”

“55 years this year, but this will be the first time I’ll be celebrating without her. She passed away.” Henry shared. The sadness was evident in his eyes and it made Harry sad.

“How did you two meet?”

“We met at a car repair shop. She was the mechanic and I was there getting my car fixed. She was the only girl I’ve ever been with and I have no regrets. Everyday, she loved me like there was no tomorrow. No one’s ever loved me like that and I will forever yearn for it.” Henry said, not bothering to wipe the tears streaming down his face.

“And, what’s great love for you?” Harry asked.

“For me, great love is being an all in one person for your one and only person. You’re the best friend, the sidekick, the lover; everything. When you meet your great love, you wouldn’t find anyone else.” Henry answered.

-

“Hi! I’m Harry Holland and I’m just popping in to say that the elderly know so much about great love. So, I asked the youth what they think is great love.”

For you, what is great love?

“I’m Amaranthine LaSpina and I’m 21 years old. They say that great love is what Jesus did for us, but I don’t know about that since I don’t believe in things like that. But in my opinion, great love doesn’t necessarily mean ‘romantic love’. It can take on many forms like friendship, family, etc. The constant factor is that they are people who care for you regardless of the decisions you made and will make. They offer you their full opinions without bias, and still support you even though you go on a different path. In summary, they want what they think is best for you without being control freaks.”

“Hiii, I’m Jaemren and I’m 15 years old. For me, great love means having an instinct, of some sort, to treat someone as part of your family even though you’re in a relationship with them or if they’re just a friend or if they’re an artist who doesn’t know you exist. You will have the sudden urge to protect them at all cost because you don’t want them to get hurt. Because if they get hurt, you feel their pain; you feel like you’re getting hurt too. Of course, you will correct them when they’re wrong and you’ll be comfortable around them because you feel at home when you’re with them, y’know? Like, there’s warmth. Great love is treasuring someone you don’t want to lose in your life and in terms of feeling it, I think reassurance is the best way.”

“Betty Montefalco, here! I’m 20 years old now and great love will always be there. It’ll always fight for you- in fact, it never slept without an argument. It’s great, it’s explosive, it’s annihilating, it could be exhausting, but at the end of the day- it’s what you want and it’s what you go back to. Even when you’re not in that headspace or happenstance anymore, it’s yearning for someone for the rest of your life; consciously, subconsciously, or unconsciously. If you’re lucky enough, maybe you’ll get to see the greatness endure and eventually flourish in this lifetime. If not, I believe you get to have that love elsewhere. Maybe in another lifetime or in a mirrored universe. I believe the people we yearn for were put in our lives for a reason and none of these people go to waste. I try to remind myself that everyday and that not everything’s figured out yet.”

“I’m Lucas and I’m 18 years old. For me, great love just boils down to understanding a person to the deepest level. It doesn’t even need to be exclusive to a romantic kind of love. True love, for me, is knowing the person in every situation. I don’t mean that the person knows your favorites or knows your deepest, darkest secrets. Knowing the person in every situation is knowing how to talk to you in times of your happiness, knowing how to keep you happy, and knowing how to be there for you in tough times without being intrusive or anything. They can sense when something is wrong about you or if you’re feeling off and they really know how to help you. They don’t even need to be your lovers or even best friends. It takes a certain kind of empathy to be able to understand someone’s emotion so well and knowing how to help you with those emotions is what I believe to be the greatest kind of love one can show to another.”

“HAHAHA, great love??? I haven’t experienced that yet. I only have my firsts, but I don’t consider them my great loves. My expectation is that hopefully we’re in the same wavelength-ish. To me, it doesn’t matter how they will be. Hopefully no sacrifices will be made. You can get great love from your friends and family. Like, you do stuff for them just because you love them. Oh, I’m 21 years old and my name is Hebe. It’s pronounced like ‘Phoebe’.”

“I’m Alessandra; 21 years old. Honestly, I don’t know what great love is. But I guess it’s something that makes someone’s world meaningful. Crushes come and go, but great love stays.”

“I’m 18 years old and my name is Dash. Great love is where you can experience the good and bad without ever getting tired nor ever get sick of the person. It’s trusting the person who you experience great love with.”

“I’m Jai and I’m 18 years old. Greatest love. As someone who ceases to exist, but lives by the quote ‘we accept the love we think we deserve’, I definitely have no idea what love truly is. In the first place, we shouldn’t even be rationalizing what it is. I once told a friend that I never believed in love. I was teased about it, but sometimes I just want someone to take me in their tender arms and cover me in dirt, cover me in roses. As gravity pulls me in their arms; I’ll feel warmth, I’ll feel safe, I’ll feel at home. Oh, to have someone be the mark of who I need to be, to have a blossoming reverie with, like the way they came in my life would feel so right. I think greatest love would make me want to twist and turn, cry and burn, but I’d like it.”

-

Harry sat in his room editing his ‘great love documentary’ and he’s frustrated. He couldn’t feel a thing from it. He felt as if he’s lacking some kind of passion, but he doesn’t know what it is; he can’t put his finger on it. So, he saved the video and went to the kitchen to fix himself a sandwich. While doing so, he took out his phone and called his mum.

“Harry!” Nikki happily said through the phone. “How are you?”

“I’m alright. ‘M just a bit stressed, that’s all. You?” Harry asked before putting his mum on speaker, so he can decently make a sandwich.

“I’m alright. I’m just editing pictures. How’s the documentary coming along? Is it like you pictured in your head?” Nikki asked.

“Yeah, it’s alright. It’s not finished, but it’s all coming together. The documentary isn’t the problem, though. It’s me. I feel like something’s lacking in me. Like, I don’t feel a thing while asking those ‘for you, what is great love?’ questions. When I asked old couples, I didn’t feel my heart swelling with joy and love. Is something wrong with me?” Harry explained.

“No, there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Then, what is it? I want this documentary to work, I really do. I just want to be a great director. Not just for this project, but also in projects that I’ll do in the future. But I can’t do that if my feelings aren’t in the right mood or place. Am I making any sense, mum?” Harry sighed before taking a bite out of his sandwich.

Nikki laughed, “I definitely know what you’re talking about. Harry, darling, you’re not inspired. That’s it. You’re doing a documentary about ‘great love’, but you don’t have one yourself.”

“Do I have to find someone as soon as possible?” Harry asked. “I don’t want to put this documentary on hold.”

“You don’t have to find someone as soon as possible and you don’t have to put your documentary on hold. You’ll find someone along the way, I promise you that. Just do what you have to do.”

“How do I know if I meet the right one?”

“You’ll just know. Trust me.”

Harry sighed, “Okay. Thanks, mum.”

“You’re welcome. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Harry hung up and finished his sandwich before going back to his room to continue editing.

-

Harry took his time with the documentary. He needed the inspiration to continue, so he took a break from it. He was in the neighborhood with a small ball in his hand as he walked Tessa for a little bit of exercise. That’s when he saw you. You were painting a piece of cardboard as you sat on the grass. Your eyebrows were knit as you concentrated on what you were doing. He walked up to where you were and stood next to you. He removed the leash from Tessa’s collar and threw the ball. Tessa immediately ran off to find the ball and Harry finally gave you his attention.

You felt his presence next to you, but you didn’t mind him. After all, he was a stranger.

“Um, hi!” Harry spoke, causing you to look up from painting. You gave him a tight-lipped smile and said, “Hello.”

“What’re you doing?” Harry asked as he crouched down to see it better.

“I’m doing a miniature version of The Office. Right now, I’m painting the walls. So, when I put them together, it looks like an empty office. I already have the grey felt paper for the carpet flooring of the whole office. I haven’t sticked it yet because I have to cut out the exact shape of the floor if that makes sense.” You rambled as you continued painting.

“That sounds… tiring.” Harry said. He looked around and saw Tessa coming back to him. He pats her head before throwing the ball once more, making the dog leave again.

“It’s really tiring. I’m just glad that I have all the materials and the patience to make things like this. A few months ago, I did Rachel and Monica’s apartment. It was epic!” You grinned before looking at him. “What do you do?”

“Excuse me?” Harry asked, sitting down next to you to stretch his legs.

“Like, what do you do in your free time, or just in general? What are your hobbies? Anything.” You asked him.

“Oh! I, uh, I’m a filmmaker.” Harry answered. You looked at him for a while and nodded. “That’s interesting. I’ve never met a filmmaker before. I guess this’ll be my first time meeting one.”

“There’s a first time for everything.” Harry chuckled awkwardly. “I’m Harry, by the way.” He extended his hand to you.

“Like the prince?” You asked and he laughed, but nodded. “I’m Y/N.” You shook hands before you continued painting. Tessa came back with the ball and Harry took it from her before throwing it again.

“What kind of films do you make?” You asked as you carefully put the cardboard down on the spot next to you to let it dry. You grabbed another cardboard and started painting it.

“Just anything that comes to mind, really. Right now, I’m making a documentary about ‘great love’.” Harry said and you nodded.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Why are you making a documentary about ‘great love’?” You asked. You paused painting to look at him with curious eyes. Harry looked at you and shrugged, “There’s no special reason, actually. I just want to experiment. It sucks, though. I don’t feel it and I hate that I don’t feel it.”

You nodded in understanding, “You need a muse, y’know, like an inspiration.”

“Funny. My mum said the same thing.” Harry chuckled which made you smile.

“Great minds think alike.” You giggled. “Your mum and I should hang out, then. We clearly have the same thoughts.”

“I’ll tell her.” Harry said. You both laughed and you looked at your watch. The sun was about to set and you decided it’s best to start packing up your materials. Harry helped you pack up and when you were done, you smiled at him.

“Thank you.” You said and he just grinned in return. “I have to go. It was nice meeting you, Harry.”

“It was nice meeting you too, Y/N.” Harry said. At that moment he realized that if he lets you go, he probably would never see you again. If he never sees you again, his mind will swarm with what could have been’s and what if’s. He didn’t like it already. He knew he had to decide now and he did.

“Can I have your number, Y/N?”

-

As cheesy as it sounds, Harry became motivated in his work again. He began to really feel things towards you and it made him soar. His mum was right. He’ll know when he meets the right person for him. Lucky for him, he found that person at 22 years old while others aren’t so lucky.

He never doubted you for one second. He knew that you were the right person for him. That’s why he confidently asked you on a date. He was delighted when you agreed to go on a date with him. Eventually, one date turned into multiple dates. You even met his family. You thought it was too soon, but he insisted on introducing his great love to his loved ones.

You and Harry didn’t have a label yet and you were still at the ‘getting to know’ stage of your ‘relationship’. Harry learned about your quirks while you learned about his likes and dislikes. It was truly an exciting experience for you because it’s different and new; it’s refreshing.

Harry was your breath of fresh air on a sunny day. He was your quiet life in the countryside. With him, you were peaceful and safe. Your life would come to a pause when you’re around him because you want to live in the moment. You were merely a passerby in this situation.

Of course, passersby come and go. People who pass through the countryside rarely stay because it would only be a matter of time until they make their way back to the hustle bustle of the city.

And it happened to you.

His name was Jack. You and Jack had a long history together, but you both went your separate ways for reasons you could barely recall. You know how people have something consistent in their lives? Jack was yours and you were his. Even if you weren’t together anymore, both of you knew that you’d have each other no matter what. You didn’t know how Jack found you, but he did. After all, that’s how fate works.

Then suddenly the life in the countryside didn’t seem as enticing as it was anymore. The air made you feel suffocated and the sun started burning your skin. Your quiet life in the countryside began to make you feel agitated. Your life desperately wanted to play, but it stayed on a pause and you feared that it would stay that way. You wanted to move on and go through the roads up ahead, but something- someone, rather, was holding you back.

You knew it was time to come clean. As much as you enjoyed and liked Harry’s company, you just couldn’t stay with him. It pained you to realize that the countryside wasn’t for you even if it seemed so perfect. But fate tied you to the city and a city person, you’ll remain. When you told Harry, he didn’t understand it. You didn’t expect him to understand immediately, but you knew that in time, he will.

And he did.

He didn’t let you go; you just left. Besides, he could never let you go. You were the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He was crestfallen for a long time, but his mum told him that things would get better. And she was right… again.

Harry moved on too, but he never forgot about you. To him, you’ll always be in his heart. He finally finished the documentary and he was happy with the outcome.

-

“Hi, it’s Harry! I’ve decided to add a little clip of me saying stuff that I’ve learned throughout this documentary.” Harry said with a small smile on his face.

“I’ve learned that great love is different for everyone. Great love is loving someone unconditionally and great love is also being an all in one person for your one and only person. Great love is or are people who care for you regardless of the decisions you make and will make. They also want what’s best for you. You have the urge to protect them at all costs and you treasure them because you don’t want to lose them in your life.”

“Great love will always be there; it stays. It’s what you want and will go back to, no matter what. It’s yearning someone for the rest of your life. Great love is understanding someone on the deepest level and you do things for them just because you love them. It’s something that makes someone’s world meaningful. Greatest love would make you want to twist and turn, cry and burn, but you’d like it. You’d like it because it comes with it.”

“During the process of this documentary, I’ve met my great love. I realized that all the answers that I’ve heard made sense when I met this person.”

“Unfortunately, this person isn’t in my life anymore. I used to curse life because of it, but now I get it. I was not their great love, but they were mine. What I felt for them was special and I will never feel that way for someone ever again. I now understand that just because I found great love for me, doesn’t mean that I’m their great love too. I will forever yearn for this person, but I will move on. I am moving on.”

Harry paused for a second and smiled at the camera, “Thank you for watching.”

* * * *

lol what do yall think??? i personally like how it turned out. feedback would be greatly appreciated. you are all my great loves 🤍

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @thatforgottenangel @turtoix @givebuckyhisplumsnow @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @yourstrulyamour @euphorichxlland @thevelvetseries @buckymylove @more-like-reyna @aayaissaa

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow @bi-lmg @emmastarz

+ @leafy-holland (oml why cant i tag u??)

[libraryofnesta]

i don’t forgive you (but please don’t hold me to it)

Summary:

Nesta feels a sense of heartbreak when thinking of her father

Inspired by the song Kyoto by Phoebe Bridgers

Notes:

tw!!! This work does mentioned what happened with Tomas in the forest, so please be prepared for that when reading.

read on ao3 here!

I'm gonna kill you

If you don't beat me to it

Dreaming through Tokyo skies

I wanted to see the world

Then I flew over the ocean

And I changed my mind (Ooh)

Nesta feels a sense of heartbreak when thinking of her father. The look on her fathers face while he died stays imprinted in her mind. It’s not the only cause of heartbreak though. It’s been five years since his death and a part of her is still grieving. The other part of her is tired of it.

Her relationship with her father is over, yet everything feels unresolved. Nesta had never talked to him the way she wanted to. She’s mated, and finally allowed herself to relax for once. All that Hybren has induced to her has calmed down. It never fully disappeared though.

Nesta is aware she is at fault for many of their childhood disputes. She’s no saint. She shouldn’t have depended on Feyre to provide for them. But they shouldn’t have had to depend on each other for so much at so young. He was their father for god's sake. He was supposed to be there for them.

Nesta remembers starving herself in hopes of putting him back on his feet. God, she was so angry. She felt hurt and betrayed at him for not doing anything. Soon that bitterness had gone to everyone she knew. It had surrounded her.

Anger because he wouldn’t get up. Not even for his own children. She was a child too. They were children who lost their mother.

Nesta just can’t understand how she became the monster, and not him.

A part of her really hates him. The other part of her hates the fact that there is no one there to hate. It would be so much easier if he was here. Alive and well. Nesta could hate him guilt-free. But she can’t. Because he’s not here to hate. Now she has to grieve while hating him too.

It’s been so long since Nesta has fully felt at peace. The thought is always in the back of her head. She still hasn’t fully accepted becoming fae. She feels inhuman sometimes. The body doesn’t feel right. Her pointed ears are a constant reminder. Some days she’ll love it, while other days, she hates it.

Tomas Madray is not a constant thought in her life. It’s been years since Nesta has seen him, and she has never been more glad. She hates the man more than she hates anyone. At the same time, she’s terrified of him. The idea of ever seeing him again sends goosebumps across her arms.

He’s taught her what a man with power can really do to you.

Maybe it’s a part of the reason why Nesta used to be so resistant to getting close to the fae world. There are so many men ruling. Men with so much power it terrifies her with what they could do.

Nesta never told anyone what he did to her. She’d brushed it aside as if it was nothing. Sometimes when in bed, her mind flashes back to that moment. Cassian is always able to tell when she wants to stop. He never questions it. He never asks for the name of who did either, knowing she’ll never give it to him.

Nesta wonders what her mother would think of Tomas. Would she be horrified? Disgusted that a man with that amount of money would do that. Or will she be disgusted at her. For breaking up with someone who could grant her so much fortune.

Her mother couldn't seem to care about them, as long as they brought wealth to their hands. Nesta wanted her mother. She didn’t want to become a puppet to be toyed with.

I did it for you , she thinks. Nesta’s mother wanted her to wed for conquest and to be an obedient daughter, she tried to. She was her mothers creature. Someone to be dictated. Doing everything she wanted to. Accomplishing what others wanted for her.

It’s easier to forgive her father than her mother.

25 felt like flying

Nesta zones back into time.

She has no idea where she is. It’s too dark to wander around, and she’s too far away to talk to anyone. The idea of yelling already makes her voice feel horse. She’s surrounded by trees. The last place she remembers being at was the House, and Nesta has no idea how long it’s been yet.

Instead she releases the fists her hands are in and looks up at the sky. It’s a full moon today. A light smile grazes her lips. The sky’s never looked more beautiful. Nesta’s unaware of her surroundings, so it takes a while for her to hear the voice.

“Nesta! Are you here? Nesta!” It’s coming from behind her. Nesta turns around and sees a familiar figure approaching.

“Cassian?”

His pace gets faster, and once approaching he pulls her into a bone crushing hug. They stand there for a few seconds, one hand on her waist, the other stroking her hair.

“I was just walking around,” she says, voice muffled by his chest. He lets her go, searching for any injuries.

Cassian lets out a sigh, seeming more calm. He puts his hands on her shoulders, pulling her closer to lay a light kiss on her forehead.

“Just let me know next time.”

Hand in hand, they walk back to the House.

For so long she acted like she was okay with him doing nothing. He was her father, and in the end he told her he loved her. So Nesta pretended to forgive him. To act like she was, it was okay that he didn’t try. During her time at the house of wind all she felt for him was guilt

It would be so much easier if her father hated her. But he loves her, and she has to live with that. She loves him too.

He’s her father. Of course she loves him. She can’t not love him, and she won’t act like it.

But she won’t pretend to forgive him. Not anymore.

I don't forgive you

But please don't hold me to it

Born under Scorpio skies

I wanted to see the world

Through your eyes until it happened

Then I changed my mind

let me know if you wanna be added to future taglists

[marvelslut16]

Footloose and confessions

Prompt number: 30 “Just say it”

Fandom: Stranger Things

Paring: Robin Buckley x reader

Rating: T

Word count: 863 (This queen deserves a longer story)

Warnings: mentions of anti-lesbianism (I don’t know how else to phrase that lmao). alludes to some sexy times, but never explicitly said.

A/N: I was planning on doing a Ransom Drysdale fic today, but after hearing that two justices on the Supreme Court are trying to overturn Obergefell, which legalized gay marriage, my bisexual heart was crushed and I was angry. So I decided to finally write for Robin Buckley, my love, because she’s an inspiring character- especially right now. Yes I know the name sucks, but I couldn’t come up with anything.

Robin Buckley; sassy, sarcastic, quirky, and as far as your concerned the love of your life. You’ve been friends with Robin since the beginning of freshman year, and while she had neve been outright with her sexuality you could tell. From the longing looks she’d give Tammy Thompson in class, to the way her eyes would linger on Phoebe Cates in her red bikini when you saw fast times at Ridgemont high with her in theaters. Feeling a little hurt that Robin never told you something as big as her sexuality when you two were supposedly best friends with no secrets, you never told her yours. You weren’t as obvious as Robin was, because to you every woman paled in comparison to your best friend. 

Over the summer you would visit her at Scoops Ahoy at least once a week, where she would give you free ice cream and complain about Steve Harrington’s poor flirting with the female customers or she’d complain about Erica Sinclair always sampling every flavor but never buying anything. Robin would always stop in at JC Penny’s when you were working, either asking you for assistance so you could chat, or she’d be making use of your employee discount you let her use. 

You were at your cousins birthday party when Robin and the others found their way into the Russian bunker that was underneath the mall, but Robin immediately told you about it the following day. Ever since then Steve has been giving you odd looks, not that you befriended him this summer while visiting Robin or anything, but the looks were awkward considering the three of you now work at the video store together. 

A perk of the job is that your boss lets each of you rent a movie for free once a month. So three weeks out of every month you’re having a movie night with Robin and Steve, depending on the movie sometimes the kids join too. Tonight, however, it’s just you and Robin. Steve made up some dumb excuse that he had to be somewhere with his parents tonight, even though he told you guys last week you could do movie night there since his parents would be out of town. Steve gave you that funny look again as he was finishing 

So that’s how you ended up on Robin’s couch, bowl of popcorn on your lap and a thing of twizzlers in hers. The two of you share a blanket, your feet tangled together on the ottoman in front of you sometime during the movie. You rest your head on her shoulder as the high schoolers in footloose dance at their prom, you’re thankful her parents are out of town this weekend so the movie went interruption free. 

“I have something I need to tell you,” Robin takes in a deep shaky breath, clicking off the tv.

“You know you can tell me anything,” you snuggle further into her side, relishing in her warmth- the air conditioning set too low for your liking. 

“We’ve been best friends for years,” you pull away slightly so you can look Robin in the eye, scared she’s going to tell you she doesn’t want to be friends anymore. “I’m- I can’t believe I told Steve this before I told you- but I think I’m in love with you. No- I know I’m in love with you, (Y/N).”

“W-what?” you pull back completely, shocked that your best friend loves you. The same girl you’ve been in love with since you met her is in love with you too! 

“Just say it,” Robin sounds defeated, staring dejected at her socked feet- a pair of fuzzy socks you had gotten her because they had little robins all over them. 

“Say what?” you’re still in a state of shock. 

“That you’re disgusted by me! That you want nothing to do with me now that you know I’m a lesbian!” she shoots up from her spot beside you on the couch and starts pacing the length of the living room. “That you don’t love me too.”

“But I do love you!” you hop up from your seat, standing directly in her path so she has to look at you. 

“You don’t have to pity me and say it back,” she looks at your forehead now, refusing to meet your gaze. 

“Robin, look at me,” the sternness in your voice causes her to finally look you in the eye. “Why would I say it if I didn’t mean it? Why would I be willing to endure a lifetime of discrimination and hatred just to be with you if I didn’t love you too?”

Robin sees the sincerity in your eyes and starts to tear up. She can’t believe that you're willing to suffer for the rest of your life just to be with her. But she can’t help grin as the words really sink in- you love her too. She pulls you in for a kiss, it starts soft and sweet, but soon turns hungry and needy. And now you have another reason to be glad her parents are away- no interruptions and you can be as loud as you want.

Permanent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny​

[drariellevalentine]

Medically Inevitable

Chapter 12- Obscene Occasions

Characters:- Arielle Valentine, Ethan Ramsey, Liam Mercado, Sienna Trinh, Elijah Greene, Jackie Varma, Landry Olsen, Rafael Aveiro, Kyra Santana, Phoebe Reznik & Danny Cardinal

Pairings:- Arielle Valentine x Ethan Ramsey, Sienna Trinh x Danny Cardinal, Elijah Greene x Phoebe Reznik

Warnings:- Alcohol, cursing, mentions of the infamous WAP (no lyrics)

You’re standing in a sound control booth, ready to flip on a switch. A switch that will blast WAP from the speakers of none other than America’s most posh salon for old ladies. “How did I even get here?!”, you ask yourself. A few hours before…

“Let’s get this party started!”, Kyra shouts as everyone cheers.

“What are we doing first?”, you ask.

Bryce and Elijah share a devilish smirk.

“Uh oh…”, Jackie says.

“We thought it would be fun to see everyone play Twister in fancy outfits.”, Bryce says.

“Bryce! Was this your idea?!”, Sienna shouts. Bryce flashes her a grin.

“I’ll spin the wheel!”, Elijah says as Bryce spreads out a humongous Twister map.

“Wow, this is huge!”, Phoebe says.

“Yep! Okay, so I’ve entered everyone’s names on here. First, 5 people will play. Then the other five will. No exceptions!”, Bryce shouts. “...and the names are here! Drumroll, please!... Kyra! Phoebe! Me! Rafael! Arielle!”

“Looks like ‘birthday girl’ escaped.”, Landry says. Jackie flashes him a warning.

“Does everyone know how to play?”, Elijah asks. All five of you nod as you line up by the mat as you slip off your footwear. “Awesome! First is Kyra!” Kyra places her left hand and foot on the mat, as per the color. Phoebe, Bryce, and Raf place their right hand and left foot on the mat according to the color on their turn When it’s your turn, the mat’s already almost covered.

“Damn! This went fast!”, Jackie says. Elijah holds out the spinner as you spin it.

“Left foot on blue, right hand on red!” You look at the mat, seeing that you can either do a backbend over Bryce or put one hand over Phoebe and a leg under Raf.

“You can’t be serious!”, you shout as everyone laughs. You place your leg on blue and after steadying your legs, you bend your back and place your hand on the red.

“Y’know, when I said you could be on top of me, this is not what I meant.”, Bryce says.

You roll your eyes, “Oh shut up!” After the second round, everyone’s in a huge twisted mess, your back still over Bryce but your feet are under Raf and one of your hands is now twined with Kyra’s.

“I never thought I would say this, but this is entertaining!”, Jackie says.

“Yeah, for you!”, you shout back.

“Okay, I’m out!”, Phoebe says as she wiggles her way out of the twisted jumble.

“Damn! This is hard!”, Bryce says.

“I know right! My back hurts!”, you reply.

“I meant for you.”, Bryce says smirking. You groan.

“It is, but both of you are doing great!”, Raf says. You smack your forehead with your free hand.

“Raf, you do realize he’s trash-talking us right?”, you say.

“Yeah, I know...aand I’m out!”, Raf slides out from the mat.

“Me too. I can’t risk breaking my back.”, says Phoebe. You and Bryce are the only ones left.

“Okay! Bryce’s turn.” Elijah spins the wheel which lands on right-hand red. Bryce chooses the exact spot to place his hand that makes you arch your back even more.

“Bryce! You can’t expect to hold this for much longer!”

He smirks. “Then quit.”

“Damn, you two are still going!”, Elijah says as he spins the wheel. “Lucky Arielle gets to take off her foot!” You cheer. “You didn’t expect me to not return the favor.”, you reply with a smirk. Carefully keeping your hand on their respective colors, you slide under Bryce making him arch his back...a lot. You push him more until he gives up.

“And...the winner is Arielle!”

“Okay, I’m done! I don’t need surgery when I’m already deep in debt!”, Bryce says as he gets up. You plop down on the mat as Si comes to help you up.

“You know, the last thing I thought yoga would help with was playing Twister! Speaking of...bow down to the Twister champion!”

“Okay, Okay! Now it’s Landry, Jackie, Sienna, and Danny! It’s a close tie but Sienna ends up winning.

“That isn’t fair! Sienna’s tiny!”, Jackie protests.

“Ha! I still win!”, Sienna says.

“That’s enough of Twister! The next stop is shots people!”

Bryce leads everyone to the open bar and as everyone takes a seat on a barstool, he slides behind the counter. “What will it be folks?”, he asks with a southern accent.

Jackie groans playfully as Sienna perks up, “This is Jackie’s birthday, so that means…”

“Tequila from start to finish!”, Kyra finishes. Bryce places multiple shot glasses and pours tequila in each of them.

“Okay, on the count of three. 1...2...3!” You throw back the shot and slam your glass on the counter, the tequila slightly burning your throat.

“Ooh! That’s strong!”, Danny says.

“Expect nothing else from Jackie.”, Landry replies.

“Again!” After multiple rounds of shots, you all are now tipsy and on water. “Ookay Scalpel Jockey, what’s next?”, you ask.

“Well it isn’t a party without truth or dare, but I have a better idea.”, Bryce replies with a huge grin.

“Oh no...don’t tell me that my birthday present is being arrested for streaking!”

“Oh trust me, it’s much worse than that.”, Elijah replies.

“Arielle, what did you drag me into?”, Raf asks. You shrug.

“Okay, for this game, we’ll need to go to the mall. Everyone, to the car!” After a short ride in a cramped car and with the story of how you and Bryce were banned from a different mall, you reach the mall.

“Okay, so we split up into two teams, girls and boys, and basically we play hide and seek. But, the losers have to do a dare of the winners’ choice.”

“Okay people, it’s official! We are definitely going to be in jail by the end of this!”, you shout as everyone laughs.

“Bryce, rules?”, Sienna asks.

“Ok, so we’ll make up the rules as we go!”, Bryce says.

“Ooh! This sounds fun! I’m in!”, Kyra says.

“You know what, me too.”, you reply.

“What the hell, I guess.”, Jackie replies. Everyone else agrees.

“Okay, coin toss.” Elijah picks out a nickel from his wallet. “Ladies first, heads or tails?”

“Heads.”, Phoebe perks up. Elijah raises an eyebrow.

“Cause we’re the only one who actually has them.”, Jackie replies without batting an eyelash.

“Ooh! Nice!”, Kyra high-fives Jackie as Elijah flips the coin to reveal...tails!

“Ha! Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it!“, Bryce replies with his horrible southern drawl.

”So, what will it be boys?”, Phoebe asks. The boys make a big show of huddling and discussing, returning 5 minutes later.

”We have decided that we will seek.”, Raf announces.

”Okay...so we can hide anywhere we want?”, you ask.

”Yeah, but only on mall premises.”, Elijah says.

”We’ll give you guys all 10 minutes to hide, we’ll stay here. You guys can hide in groups or single, your choice.”, Danny says.

”Wait, you guys will find us sooner or later. You’re just setting us up!”, Jackie says.

”Okay then, what if we only get 20 minutes?”

”10.”, Kyra counters.

”We’ll go with 15. Does everyone have their phones on them?”, Raf asks.

Everyone nods. ”Then prepare to eat our dust!”, Bryce smirks. You roll your eyes.

”Oh please, we’ll see about that.”, Kyra says.

”Ok, I'm starting the timer in 3...2…1!” As Danny starts the timer, all of you rush inside the mall.

”I think we should all hide in the same place. It’ll lessen the chance of them finding us.”, you say.

”You're right. But where do we hide?”, Phoebe asks.

”Quick! We already lost a minute!”, Sienna shouts as she looks at the timer on her phone.

”Let’s check the mall directory for some inspiration. We need someplace that no man would never enter.”, Jackie replies as she ushers you all to the directory.

You look at the directory. ”What about the spa?”, Sienna asks.

”No, that won't work. We can't possibly hide there.”, Kyra says.

You look at the list of stores. Your eyes widen as you come across a store that would be perfect.

”What is it, Arielle?”, Sienna asks.

”What about Victoria’s Secret?! The boys wouldn't dare come in there!”, you reply, your voice rising with excitement. Their eyes and smiles widen.

”Oh my God! That’s an amazing idea!”, Kyra says.

”Quick! Which floor is it on?”, Phoebe asks. You scan the directory once again.

”It’s on the sixth floor! Let's go!” After several flights of steps, you reach the sixth floor and rush into Victoria's Secret.

”Everyone just split up and act like your browsing through lingerie. I'll keep an eye on the storefront to see if the boys come searching this way. Keep your phone on.” As per your instructions, everyone splits up and you turn to a section of lace-up bras at the very front of the store.

It’s been almost 5 minutes and there’s no sign of the boys. You rush towards the back of the store as you hear Sienna shout, ”There are only 30 more seconds! We won!”

”We did it!”, You shout.

”Ooh, what do you think we should give the boys as a dare?”, Kyra asks.

”That won't be needed.” You whip around to find the whole entourage of boys right in the middle of the store.

”Surprise! We thought you would be here.”, Bryce says. You notice all the staff starting at the group of boys.

”...you’ve got to be kidding me.”, you say.

“Unfortunately not! The timer ended after we found you!”, Elijah says.

”Are you all just going to stand here?..” You turn around to see one of the employees giving you a judgemental look.

”Okay, we’re going! No need to be so judgy!”, Bryce replies as you all file out of the store.

”So much for our dare…”, Sienna says.

You notice Bryce with an extremely huge grin on his face. ”Time for your dare, lovely ladies!”

“Spit it out, Bryce.”, Jackie says. Ignoring her, he steps forward and whispers the dare into your ear. All the girls get alarmed, noticing your wide-eyed and flushed face.

”...you’re not serious.”, you reply unbelievably. He only grins.

”Just spit out Arielle! What's the dare?!” Unable to say anything, Bryce happily steps forward and whispers the dare into everyone's ears. One by one, every girl’s eyes widen.

”You can't be serious Bryce.”, Krya says. He shrugs.

”Bryce, whatever dare you gave them, maybe you should lighten it up? Elijah says.

”Wait? You guys don't know what the dare is?”, you ask. They shake their head.

”Bryce won't tell us.”, Raf replies. A few minutes later, you're standing in front of Nail, Hair and Beauty, a place which is known for where all the old ladies get their nails and hair done. You tentatively enter the store with all the girls, pretending to browse their nail polish collection. You see Bryce pointing to a closed door, across from the entrance.

”That must be the entrance. We’ll change the song and rush out before anyone sees us.”, you say.

”Why did we even agree to this?”, Kyra asks.

”Look on the bright side! At least we’ll have a great story to tell later at parties!”, Sienna says.

”You're the only person who would look at the bright side, Sienna.”, you reply.

Making sure no one sees you, all five of you manage to sneak into the closet miraculously without anyone noticing. You notice the sound system, a list of soothing piano melodies lined up to play over the speakers.

”Who’s flipping the switch?”, you ask. No one makes a move. You groan.

”Fine! I'll do it. At least before someone notices, we’re here.” You tentatively step up and familiarize yourself with the sound system. Making sure not to disturb anything else, you carefully search up WAP, hoping it's not there but yet it's there.

”They have the damn song. Sorry ladies, but at least if you get a heart attack, we have seven doctors here.” You signal to the girls, 5...4...3...2...1! You click the button as you and the girls rush out of the closet and the salon without anyone noticing.

Bryce looks at you. ”It's done. I've queued at full volume.”, you reply after catching your breath.

”What the hell are you guys even talking about?”, Elijah asks. Just then, the familiar bass beat and interesting lyrics play. All of the girls cringe as the boys’ faces morph into pure utter shock. Bryce just stands there with a smirk on his face. You can hear the pure chaos and shouting from the salon, the song attracting people’s attention.

”OH MY!”

”WHAT IS THIS?!”

“TURN IT OFF!”

”THIS ISN’T RELAXING!!”

”YOU KNOW, MY GRANDSON LISTENS TO THIS!”

“HEY, MINE TOO!”

“WE MUST BE THE COOL GRANDMA’S!”

”TURN THE DAMN SONG OFF!”

”WHAT KIND OF MUSIC IS THIS?!”

“TURN THE FUCKING SONG OFF KATE!”

“I WOULD, BUT I CAN’T!”

All of you just stand there as Bryce doubles over in laughter. Soon the damn song is turned off.

“...I can’t believe we just did that.”

“Me either.”

“Hey! All of you!” You all whip around and see one of the store employees glaring at you.

“Time to go!” Bryce says as he spins around and runs to the stairs. You all follow suit as Phoebe helps Elijah escape through the elevator, sprinting down the stairs until you reach your car.

“Bryce! You idiot!”, Jackie exclaims.

“My feet hurt!”, Sienna says.

“Nice job girls.” Just then your phone rings, you see it’s Liam. You answer it, placing it on the speaker as you start the car.

“Hey, Liam.”

“Where are you? And why are you so out of breath?”

“Long story. We’ll be back in 15 along with a huge appetite.”

“I look forward to that story of yours.” All of you laugh and joke about the crazy dare as you drive back.

General PoV:-

Soon Arielle and her friends are seated at the huge dinner table, waiting for their lavish dinner.

“So, the first course will be out in 15 minutes. Followed by another main course and lastly a special dessert course.”, Liam says. “I have a list of different main courses according to dietary restrictions, everyone just pick out your favorite course.” After everyone chooses, you all start discussing your favorite restaurants when Bryce perks up. ”Guys, let's play a game?"

"What do you have in mind Lahela?" Jackie asks making Bryce grin.

"Truth or truth!" Bryce answers excitedly.

"It's called truth or dare, meathead," Jackie rolls her eyes.

"No, it's called 'truth or truth', " Bryce corrects Jackie. "There's no option for a dare at all. Only truth."

"Ooh!" Sienna makes an exciting sound, "Think how many dirty secrets or embarrassing stories of each other we'll be able to know! I'm in."

Bryce's grin becomes broader," That's the spirit!"

One by one they all agree to it except one. All the heads turn to Jackie and she grimaces, "Fine! I'm in too."

Bryce and Sienna squeal excitedly, making the rest of you smile. "But before we start I have something to show," Sienna says while pulling out her phone. She shows everyone an old picture of Landry, drunk and clad in a giraffe onesie. Landry’s face goes red as everyone laughs. Before anyone can tease him any more, Landry diverts the topic, " How do you play the game?"

"Just like truth or dare but without any dare," he explained before looking around, "We'd need a bottle for spinning."

"I'll go and bring one," Raf says and moves to the bar. Bryce wolf whistles soon after. As Arielle follows his gaze she finds Rafael smiling in a shy but flirty manner with the bartender. The bar isn’t much far from their table so once the bartender moves inside Bryce tries to grab Rafael's attention and when Raf looks back, Bryce winks, and Rafael shyly smiles.

He comes back after a few minutes with an almost empty bottle. Placing it on the table he asks, "Who wants to go first?"

"Since you are the one to bring it, so why don't you go first?" Sienna says.

"No, no," Rafael says hesitantly," It’s Bryce's idea. He should go first."

"Oh, no bro. You start," Bryce insists. They keep fighting about it when Jackie interrupts their fight. Grabbing the bottle she yells so that the guys fighting would stop, "I'll go first."

Jackie spins the bottle and it lands on Sienna. you can see her smirking for a second before she switches back to her poker face. "What's the deal between you and Danny?" She asks as sienna’s face becomes lightly flushed

"Wh- I- We are friends, Jackie. " Sienna somehow managed to say trying her level best not to blush. Everyone's busy teasing her when Arielle notices a slight blush that crept on her cheeks and a well-hidden smile on her face. Arielle smiles to herself understanding what exactly is going on between the two. And before the gang spoils it, you try to divert the topic.

"Stop it guys.”, Arielle smiles at Sienna, "Leave her alone. She said they’re just friends."

"Ugh...You’re no fun Arielle.”, Bryce pretends to be disappointed but fails miserably.

Kyra spins the bottle next, which stops at Rafael. Kyra pretends to think for a minute before asking her question. Kyra smirks as she asks, " Who's your crush in this room?"

Rafael blushes at the question and looks in the direction of the bar, where the female bartender is mixing up some drinks. He looks at her with a smile before turning back with a shy smile. He shakes his head, answering Kyra's question but you all already know the answer.

After Kyra, it's Bryce's turn. Bryce spins the bottle more enthusiastically than others. After spinning a few rounds it stops at Arielle. Bryce smirks before asking, "What's your relationship with Liam?" The mischievous glint in his eyes is visible.

"He's my best friend, Bryce.” Arielle reply with a roll of her eyes.

"Sureeee!" Bryce grins again, "Now spill the beans."

"I already said it already, Bryce.", Arielle says. , "He's my best friend since middle school."

"C'mon Arielle, you can tell us. It’s not like we’re going to announce it to the world," Jackie smirks.

Sienna looks at Arielle as they share a look. She decides to help her out. "Guys stop teasing her."

"You two should stop saving each other and let us have fun instead.”, Jackie says. You mouth a thank you to Si.

“My turn.” Elijah spins the bottle and again it lands on Arielle. “Now Bryce, you’ve got to know how to ask the right questions.” He turns to Arielle, “...Have you ever kissed Liam?” Arielle groans as Bryce and Jackie smile.

“Ooh, this is going to be good.”, Jackie grins.

“...I have. Not romantically or anything! It was a dare in 9th grade and people thought it was fun to make best friends kiss.”, Arielle reluctantly replies, quickly comes to her defense. Nevertheless, everyone teases her until Arielle tells them that he’s engaged and a soon-to-be dad.

“Okay, okay! We’ll stop.”

Not wanting to get back to the previous topic, Arielle spins the bottle. It stops at Phoebe. She smiles mischievously knowing exactly what to ask.

“So Phoebe...who would you go on a date with here?” Simultaneously, Phoebe and Elijah both blush as their eyes accidentally lock.

“Ooh, I think we already know the answer…”, Jackie says. But before Arielle can tease them anymore, a delicious mouthwatering scent interrupts her.

“Dinner is served. Or at least the first course.”, Liam says. Plates of bruschetta, glasses of wine, and different bread baskets are set in front of the gang.

“Oh wow…

“This smells amazing!”

“You’re right about that!”

“I hope everything is to your liking. I’ll be back in 20 minutes with your main courses.”, Liam says.

Everyone digs in, enjoying the peace for a few minutes until Kyra pipes up, “So I’ve been meaning to ask. How did you guys even find us?!”

“So here’s how it started...”

Bryce’s PoV (a few hours back):-

”Guys, I know this hurts but those girls are all smart-asses and we’re never going to find them cause they’re going to hide in some place that we won’t step foot in.”, you say.

“Then why did you ask us to play the game?”, Raf asks.

“Cause if we find that place, we’ll be able to give them a dare.”, you reply.

“We only have 10 minutes.”, Danny says.

“What if we look up all the stores and see which ones fit our category?”, Elijah says.

“Great idea dude!”, you reply as he pulls up the mall’s list of stores on his phone.

“Hmm, what about the spa? Or the nail salon?”, Danny asks as he looks over the list.

“Those should be good places.”, Elijah says.

“How much time left is there?”, Raf asks.

“There’s still 3 minutes.”, you reply.

“Meanwhile, check out which floor they’re on. We don’t want to waste time searching.”, Landry says

“Got it, there’s a spa on the ground floor a little towards the escalator and the salon’s on the fifth floor towards the back of the mall.”, Elijah says.

“Great, 10 minutes are over. Let’s go boys.”, you say as you rush to the mall.

Soon you and the boys are split into two groups, Elijah, Danny and Landry go to the spa while you and Rafael are searching Sephora’s aisles for any sign of the girls.

“Remind me again why we’re here Raf?”, you ask.

“I mean, girls always spend hours at Sephora. And I’ve never stepped foot in one so…”, he replies.

“You’re right about that. I mean did you see the looks of the employees when we actually started to ‘browse products’?!”, you add laughing.

“Damn it! They’re not here!”, you say.

“The others didn’t have any luck either.”, Raf says as he flashes the text in front of you.

“Uhh...okay. Tell them to meet us on the fifth floor.”, you say as you rush to the escalator. After a very quick ride on the escalator (consisting of parents shouting at you for running) you meet the guys at the top.

“No sign of the girls, Bryce. They have to be in the salon.”, Elijah says.

“Then let’s go.” After a thorough search of the store along with scoldings from rude women, you’re finally kicked out by a store employee.

“I don’t want to see you five ever again. Or else I’m complaining!”, she says as she drags you out.”

“Now what are we going to do?”, Elijah asks.

“I’m not doing a dare!”, Landry says.

“Guys think! Where else would the girls hide?”, you ask.

“I don’t know, these are the only stores I can think of.”, Raf says. You look around in exasperation when a certain pink striped bag catches your attention. Taking a few steps back, you look around the mall until you spot the damn store. The boys notice your look. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”, you ask. Their faces all have surprised looks.

“Of course! That’s the only place they would hide!”

You all run to the sixth floor when suddenly Landry stops you all. “Look, Arielle’s standing there!”

“Of course Elle has some plan.”, you think.

“We need to sneak up on them.”, Danny says.

“But how? Arielle definitely will see us.”, Raf says.

“There’s only one more minute left! We’ve got to do this now!”, Landry exclaims.

“That’s it! I bet that Ari will go inside when there’s only a little time left. We’ll have to sneak up on them then.”, Elijah excitedly says.

“Damn Elijah, I like your idea even better. The girls will think that they’ve won.”, you say.

“What about the dare?”, Raf asks.

You smirk deviously. “I’ll tell you when the time comes. Now let’s go give those girls a heart attack.”

Arielle’s PoV:-

“Damn, that was some smart-ass thinking.”, you say.

“Although it might have hurt Bryce’s ego to call us all smart-asses.”, Kyra jokes.

“Not might. It definitely would have hurt!”, Jackie says as you all erupt into laughter.

“What would have hurt?” You turn around to see Liam placing everyone’s pick in front of them.

“It’s a long story.”, you reply with a smile.

”Well, I look forward to hearing it. But I have a cake to decorate.”, he says winking at Jackie.

“I still don’t believe you, Arielle. Like not even a middle school crush?”, Bryce says as he takes a bite.

“Ugh...why are you so annoying!”, you playfully hit him.

“Okay, now all of you be quiet. Food like this deserves all the attention.”, Sienna says. Everyone only nods as they finish off their plates. Another 30 minutes later, you all are stuffed and talking about being stuffed.

“Ohh my god, I’m sooo full…”, you say.

“Seconded.”, Bryce says.

“Yep, Me too.”, Elijah says.

“Well, that’s too bad. I make a mean cake.” Liam says as he brings a huge three-tiered cake with a bunch of candles.

“Ahh! Look at all those cute fondant decorations!”, Sienna chirps.

“Pink?”, Jackie asks.

“Trust me, you’ll like it.”, Liam says with a smirk. He hands you the candles as he sets the plates and serving tools down then heads back.

“Aand...that’s the last one!”, Phoebe says as she places the candle in the frosting.

“Wait, Wait, Wait! We need to take a picture.”, Danny says. He and Sienna quickly position everyone for the photo as Bryce sets up a table for the camera. You, Kyra, Sienna, and Phoebe stand in the front as the boys stand in the back. Jackie sits in the middle on a stool.

“Guys, are you ready? I’ve only set the camera for thirty seconds!” Bryce says.

“Okay, 3...2...1!” Bryce quickly runs towards you and squeezes behind you. All of you pose as the camera flashes after a few seconds. You all rush to check it to find it perfect.

 “...I think that’s the first time that the first picture has come out amazing.” Everyone laughs in agreement. 

 “Okay, now let’s take a few more and then cut the cake!”, Sienna says. After a few more pics Jackie stands behind the impressive three-tiered cake, ready to cut into it. Sienna snaps a picture after lighting the candles as you all count down. 

“5...4...3...2...1!” Everyone erupts into applause and laughter as Jackie blows out the 28 candles cuts the cake. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to Jackie!” 

“Now, everyone knows that whoever you feed the first piece of cake is who you love the most!”, Bryce playfully says. Jackie suddenly pushes a piece of cake in your mouth, smearing your lips with frosting. Sienna snaps another pic. 

 “Wha- Heyy!”, you say, mouth full of cake. You take a piece of cake and return the favor, but not before smearing it on her cheek. 

“OH MY GOD! THE DAMN CAKE IS DRENCHED IN BOURBON! OKAY, THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY CAKE EVER”, Jackie yells. You laugh. 

“It’s Mark’s special cake. He makes a sponge chocolate cake and after decorating it, he uses a syringe to fill the cake with alcohol.”, you reply as everyone gets more eager to taste the cake, As Sienna takes pictures and shows then to everyone, Jackie feeds everyone a small bite of cake.

 “Oh damn, that’s good!” “Wow…” “Yummy!” A few minutes later, your phone chimes with a notification for Instagram. You open it to see Jackie’s latest posts.

“ZAID’S ON INSTAGRAM?”, you shout.

 “I know right?!”, Kyra says. 

“Never thought that he would comment.”, Jackie says. 

With Jackie distracted, Bryce takes this opportunity to smear a lot of frosting on her face. “Bryce! I’ll make you pay for his, dumbass! And Sienna, delete that damn picture!”, Jackie shouts playfully as she heads towards the bathroom.

 “I’ll go help her.”, Kyra says following her. 

“Sienna quick! Get the gift basket!”, Bryce says.

 You look at him, raising an eyebrow. “What? You thought I did that for fun?” He flashes you this ridiculous smirk making all of you laugh. You hold the gift basket behind you as Jackie comes back.

 “You do know I have eyes right?”, Jackie says looking behind you. 

 “Well then...surprise!” You hand over the heavy gift basket with everyone else. 

“I’m looking at this tomorrow. I’m too drunk and too spoiled with surprises. Now, where’s that cake?!” After everyone gets a piece, you all indulge yourselves in the rich chocolatey bourbon filled cake as the night dwells on.

 “Okayyy...I think it’s time we all head home.”, Kyra says.

 “Mhm…”, you agree as you stretch. “I think we all agree.”, Jackie says. Kyra, Rafael, Danny, and Bryce all leave in a cab after saying their goodbyes.

 “You guys take a cab. I’ll be there a little while later.”, you say. Everyone leaves leaving just you to take in the beautiful view of downtown Boston. 

“Thought I’d find you here.” You swivel around to find Liam looking at you. 

“What do you mean?”, you ask quizzically.

 “I’ve been your best friend since middle school. I know you better than yourself and I certainly know when something’s wrong.” 

 You sigh. “Is it that obvious?” 

 He nods. “You don’t have to tell me right now.” 

“I know. I just don’t feel like ruining a perfectly good day.”, you say.

 “Why don’t we head to my place? I’ll put on Grey’s and you can lecture me on all the medically incorrect terms.”, he says with a smile.

 “I don’t know, I have work tomorrow…”, you say.

 “Last time I checked, nothing stops you.”

 “Fine, let’s go. But can we take my car? And can you drive? I’m drunk.”, you blurt out.

Liam chuckles, “I can tell genius, come on.” After a quick ride, you find yourself in a sleek and elegantly furnished three-bedroom apartment.

 “Nice decor.” 

“I’ve always had nice taste.”You snort. “Do I need to remind you that I helped you redo your room before high school?”

 “I knowwww…”

 “Yep, you’re drunk alright. Ava should have some clothes in there, take whatever you need.”

 “You sure she won’t mind? And where is she, by the way? It’s been so long since I saw her.”, you ask.

 “She’ll tell you herself in the morning. You do remember that you both wore each other’s clothes in high school?” 

 “Ohh yeah, I remember alright. I practically lived in her room during all of our tests.”, you say as you head into the room he pointed to. After finding a pair of sweats, you change into them. Heading out, you see Liam having laid out a few snacks for himself, water for you, and some throw blankets and pillows. You flop on the cushions and cover yourself with a fuzzy blanket. “What season?” 

“Whatever you want. All of them have some kind of inaccuracy.” 

 He laughs. “I forgot how you drag your words and become painfully straightforward when you become when you’re drunk.”

 “Nooooo...that’s not me!”, you say sarcastically. 

He plays the pilot episode. “You know, I feel like I can kind of relate to Meredith.”, you say.

 Liam gives you an incredulous look. “Not in the mood to explain.” You try to focus on Derek and Meredith’s banter but your eyelids are droopy. Lastly, all you can see is Liam tucking a pillow under your head as sleep overtakes you. 

Part 1 of taglist:- @kaavyaethanramsey @rookie-ramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @hopelessromantics4life @realmrsramsey @mysticaurathings @binny1985 @maurine07 @alina-yol-ramsey @helloitsthiv @tsrookie @arcticlumineer @mary-c92 @sad-satan-herself @whippedforethanfreakingramsey @archxxronrookie @ethansrookie02 @semanticsandsea-lemons @mrandmrsramsey @nikki-2406 @deepikakkannan @siaramsey @katkart122 @openheartthot @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @akshara16 @luvevelynclaire @literaryexpress @miss-smrxtiee @nadeen-ahmed11 @mrsalanrickman394 @drstellavalentine @ethandaddyramseyx @annekebbphotography @custaroonie @ladyrileybrooks @robbies-sutcliffe @cralinedp @bladesofopenheart @ezekielbhandarivalleros @daddyethanramsey @romewritingshop @lilyvalentine @xpandabeardontcarex @in-love-with-a-trans-girl @coastalengineer @starrystarrytrouble @clowneryme

[wingedeclipsed]

I just reread One Of Us Is Lying and am once again struck by emotions, so here is a rushed pile of compliments.

(spoilers under the cut, in case anyone is later to the party than I am)

Reading Book 1 the first time I genuinely couldn’t tell who did it. Maybe I’m just stupid but she makes everyone look suspicious. the TALENT

Speaking of talent: this is the first high-teen book I’ve read where the author really seems to get how high schoolers think. Sure, there’s romance, but it doesn’t take up most of the plot, and they all have lots of other things to worry about. It’s refreshing to read about teenagers who are in real trouble besides the romantic sort,  looking at you Meg Cabot, this 15 y/o girl is looking VERY VERY HARD at you MEG CABOT,

Despite the fact that I’m pretty much his exact opposite in terms of personality, I, too, can relate to Nate Macauley because Bronwyn Rojas would be the love of my life if she were real

and, you know, willing to notice me.

This came out of nowhere but I really appreciated how not all of the characters had a “tragic backstory” involving bad parents. Bronwyn’s family is so supportive, and so is Addy’s sister.

Speaking of the queen herself: Addy’s arc?? How does one begin to describe Addy’s arc??? Addy’s arc is perfect. I heard its dramatic haircut moments are insured for 10000 dollars. I cried for her. Her POVs were so emotional but so full of growth and ultimately hope

In book 2 it’s mentioned that Addy is the “queen of second chances” and Phoebe or someone needs that reminder now and I just. Going from the girl who needs inspiration to the girl who inspires others is a PERFECT ending for Addy it was handled so well hhhh-

Have I mentioned that I would die for Addy Prentiss yet?

Not gonna lie I was kinda hoping Jake would suffer a tragic accident as a footnote in the epilogue. But nothing happened, he’s still there and Addy gets to move on from him completely of her own will without any external force to move them apart. *slow clap*

Moving on to Nate and Bronwyn because I have a massive crush on both of them they’re both such interesting characters. I find Bronwyn the most relatable character of all of them, it’s easy to understand why she does things, and the way she protects her sister was so sweet. This was handled really well in Book 2 also. They genuinely care for each other instead of falling victim to the “ugh I’m so unique and misunderstood I hate my sibling” trope. 

While we’re on the subject of tropes, Nate and Bronwyn’s entire relationship was just *chef’s kiss*

I love that they’ve known each other for a long time before they decide to get together, too- these childhood flashbacks are precious. And they actually seem to enjoy one another’s company. It’s the typical “good girl falls for bad boy” cliche, except the bad boy is falling approximately eight thousand times harder and not that “dark” when you get right down to it. 

Also appreciate that Bronwyn gets to be the coolest most “badass” character in the book and save the day without getting into any physical fights at all. Her strength is in her intellect.

COOPER. COOPER OUR CINNAMON ROLL. 

I love that he conforms to exactly zero (0) gay stereotypes

I know some people tend to over-praise straight authors for including the bare minimum of lgbtq+ representation but Cooper had a complete arc that was given as much attention as the others’ and it gives me life my dudes

I have never played baseball, ever, in my life, but I somehow managed to get emotionally invested in Cooper’s games and the beginning of Book 2 just CAME TO GET ME

“Preteen girls don’t care that he might have committed murder because he has dreamy eyes” I strongly suspect that this is a callout for one specific person

Also someone says “ooh burn” unironically in the second book, and popular culture and Internet language is referenced constantly without ever being awkward. None of that “hey there, fellow young people” vibe at all. The author doesn’t try too hard.

The closer I came to finishing this book the first time around, the more worried I got because I thought everyone was going to get their picture perfect happy ending without addressing any of their trauma but nope, none of that tropey stuff comes within a hundred feet of that epilogue. Sure, the ending is happy, but it’s also realistic, it fits them and lets them be imperfect. And it continues into Book 2: the murder club still has their issues, they’re still growing up and growing and learning. They’re allowed to be three-dimensional and interesting and flawed right to the end and I love that for them. 

[bambirex]

So, I finished two assigments today, and inspiration for writing hasn't hit yet but I'm a bit bored, so I decided to share some interesting facts about my fics that no one asked for:

Bed of Roses, Pleasure Cruise, my very first fanfiction, wasn't supposed to be posted. My ex of 1,5 years dumped me, and I wrote this as a sort of therapy, just for myself. I thought "hmm, not enough genderbent Queen, especially genderbent!poly!queen... Eh, you know what, I'm just gonna write it myself, for my own entertainment!" So, I wrote this on my old laptop, in a word document, hidden from anyone else. I only wrote it in English, because I was getting a little rusty and wanted to improve my skills. I had about eight chapters done before I decided to create an ao3 account, and posted the first chapter to see the reactions- which were all super positive! At the beginning, it was meant to be pure smut and nothing else, but seeing how incredibly immersed my readers were in the characters and their relationship, I decided to give it some more depth in the end. It was also meant to contain a random pool party/pool sex chapter, but I didn't know where to fit it in, so that got lost in the ether. 😂

When it comes to my one-shots, or fics submitted to a fic event, My Baby Does Me Good is my least favorite I've ever written. I think this was the most boring, subpar fic I ever churned out- which is incredibly surprising, considering how popular it was! 😃 Funny how that is.

A Miracle On Earth had two, pretty funny accidents. One, it wasn't meant to be modern au- I had to add the tag after realizing that I had Jane accidentally use a mobile phone in the first chapter. In retrospect, that was for the best- after all, how else would Freddie and Jane be able to have a baby through artificial insemination? I think the early chapters of this prove that I definitely needed a lot of time to improve as a writer. Two, I couldn't come up with a name for fem!Joe Fanelli - my stupid ass forgot that 'Jo' exists, and the only thing that came to mind was Jenny. Now, she is stuck with that one for good. I also intended for Jimercury to only have one kid- but for some inexplicable reason, I decided to give them a second one, through adoption. So, Gabriel Mercury-Hutton almost never existed.

The Garden Lodge Family Shenanigans series - after AMOE- was born as a sort of spite fic. I felt incredibly down after seeing how little comments AMOE got, but I was super invested in that AU, and I was like "fuck it, I'm gonna continue to beat a dead horse, and if people don't care, it's their loss!" This was probably my healthiest attitude in terms of fic-writing, like ever 😂 also, the responses so far were incredibly positive, so I'm glad I didn't give up!

If I talked about my least favorite fic, I need to mention my absolute favorite one-shot I've ever written, which is Thank God It's Christmas. I consider this a christmas gift for myself, as I was in a festive mood, and I love the OT5 (and I was a bit horny... Ahem). Once again, funny how this goes, because despite how much I loved writing this, it definitely didn't become as popular as I hoped 😂

Waiting For The Skies To Clear is the longest one-shot I've written so far, over 10.000 words. Despite that, I had it done in about one and a half hour- the words just kept flowing. This fic was one of the easiest for me to write, even though it was super long and quite heavy, too.

I actually considered writing Te Engemet, Én Tégedet fully in Hungarian, before realizing the odds of Hungarian Queen fans who are also into genderbending, is... Quite small 😂 So, I decided to have it available for anyone, instead. It was also the only fic where I literally cried while writing it, not just tearing up, but full on sobbing lmao

I almost gave up Keep Yourself Alive so many times, you have no idea. I absolutely had zero idea about where I wanted to go with that fic, and writer's block kept hitting me. But I powered through! I almost ended up writing the attack against Freddie as successful, but then I refrained, because I couldn't make myself do it, and I also peferred a happy ending.

I know it sounds horrifying in retrospect, but originally, Funny How Love Is wasn't supposed to contain The Clique. I brought them in for extra drama, and they soon became favorites, both to myself and my readers. I also considered going down the poly route, but changed my mind pretty quickly.

Can't Get No Relief, Lord was almost never born. I desperately wanted to write something for the Freddie Mercury Weekend, but I wasn't sure genderbent fics would be welcome. I also came across an influx of hate comments by the so-called "" "" "Freddie fans" "" "" ", and I didn't feel like dealing with that. If it wasn't for @a-froger-epic and her encouragment, I never would have written this. Also, writing this fic tore up a few wounds and brought some of my nasty internalized lesbophobia to the surface, so I was a wee bit depressed after finishing it. This fic is the only one that doesn't contain a wlw pairing.

Better Sit Back And Go (With The Flow) was originally meant to be much more light-hearted. I was considering writing about old Maylor babying the shit out of Addie Lambert, but then I went down a much angstier, heavier route- mostly because I was feeling down that day, and that was how I coped.

I don't want to spill too much, as this is is still a work in progress, but I hadn't even meant to write Deep Like The Sea just yet. But then Maycury Week came, I wanted to participate but had no other ideas, so I pushed the idea to the front. Delilah was meant to be some kind of smaller fish at first, but then I realized a dolphin would work much better.

Also a WIP, so I'm trying not to share too many spoilers, but Written In The Stars changed so much as it progressed. When I came up with the medieval Jimercury idea, I meant to have Jane as Freddie's handmaiden from the get-go, and no Phoebe and Jenny. I literally changed all that as I sat down to write the first chapter. I was also considering adding the other King girls, but I realized they wouldn't fit into the story too much. Paul was originally meant to be male!Mary at first - but even though I'm not a big fan of her, that would have felt a little too ooc, and decided to have Paul as my villain. It was also meant to be around 20 chapters, and yet, here I am at 47 chapters already 😂

And, lastly, most of you already know this, but Lilies of The Valley is based on a crazy dream I had after re-watching The L Word.

[loveafterthefact]

Love After the Fact Chapter 20: Good Intentions (that backfire horribly in one way or another)

TFW you say something horribly rude and almost immediately feel bad about it but you're also absolutely right and feel like being petty so you're still a little bit of an asshole about it and basically you're sorry but you're not SORRY, y'know what I'm saying?

Also, 'fuck' is a Galra swear because I can do what I want

TRIGGER WARNING(S): -Use of the word 'rape' -Implications of hypothetical physical violence

First  Previous  Next

As they approach the castle, Adam is waiting for them, tablet in hand and looking quite stressed. “Prince Yorak, where have you been?”

“Out.” He doesn’t feel like talking. He's tired after the long day.

“Prince Yorak, King Alfor has been anxiously awaiting your return. He wishes to speak with you. Come quickly.”

“Actually,” Keith says, vaulting from the shreika. Lance takes its reins without a second’s hesitation, back unusually stiff, fluid grace abandoned. “I don’t think I’ll be doing that. Please excuse me.”

Keith walks off in the direction of the hole in the wall, suddenly unwilling to return to his prison just yet. Perhaps he only just remembered it was a prison.

“And what do you expect me to tell him, your Majesty?!” Adam calls, voice pitched higher with stress. Keith finds he barely cares. “I’m not a magic spell!”

“Tell him whatever you like! I’m sure you can come up with something sufficiently endearing, shy, and benign!”

"You forgot demure! Could you at least try to take this seriously?!" Adam howls as Keith slips away into the dark.

Keith knows that this won’t be the end of it, but he’s not sure what else to do. He’s in no mood to speak to Alfor after hearing what he’s been doing to Lance. And what might Lance do, given enough time, enough pressure? The prince has little control, but he's a powerful alchemist. With enough focus, Lance probably could do whatever he wanted to Keith. Keith could put up a fight, but then he’d end up executed for treason or some other such nonsense.

No, Lance would never do that. Keith trusts Lance.

All the same, he’s trapped. He’s also not behaving as an adult but that’s just the problem: he’s not an adult. But the royals wouldn’t wait a damn decaphoeb or find somebody else and now here he is trapped in a marriage among a species that only cares about how quickly they can continue the line of succession.

What an utter mess. But he’s not sure what to do, so he slips through the gap in the wall and sits beside a stream he found only yesterday. He sighs, pulling on the end of his braid as he contemplates having never felt safe in his life. When he was little, his father had promised that one day, they'd take Krolia and wander the stars, discover new worlds. Akira had wanted to take him to a place called Earth, to meet the people who gave him his name. The knowledge of how to find this 'Earth' -the planet with the least-inspired name ever- had died with his father. He couldn't go if he'd wanted to.

He'll likely be on Altea for the rest of his life. What a depressing thought.

“Thought I might find you out here.” Keith leaps to his feet, expecting to see Lance, but finding Alfor instead. "I heard you found a way to sneak out. The wall exit is the easiest to find."

Keith hisses, ears pinned back against his head. He reaches for his blade as the king merely raises an eyebrow. Alfor raises his hands, doesn’t move from his spot by the stream. “You can relax, Keith. It’s Keith, isn’t it? My son has mentioned that’s what you like to be called.”

Keith relaxes, but only slightly. King Alfor is exactly who he doesn’t want to see. “What do you want?”

The king regards him, eyes strikingly tired. “Walk with me.”

Keith follows Alfor, rolling his eyes once the king’s back is turned. “What do you want?”

“What do you think of me?” Keith snorts, keeps his mouth shut. “No really, I want to know.”

“Not, you don’t. You want me to kiss your ass.”

“I have my ass kissed every day, Keith. If I wanted more of that I'd join you and Lance in court. Go ahead. I can take it.”

“Fine. You’re an arrogant bastard, a shitty father, and fucking awful person.”

“What is ‘fucking’? It sounds delightfully vulgar.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, my apologies. I didn't mean to interrupt.”

Keith narrows his eyes, takes a deep breath. It's too tempting. This man has tried to use and abuse and manipulate him since he got here and now, being invited to speak his mind for the first time since he was appointed a lord on Daibazaal, he can't resist.

“Gladly. You presume to know the wants and needs of your people while you play warrior king in your study. You look down on your son with disdain and do little to encourage or speed his progress. You seem largely indifferent when it comes to his life, interests, happiness, and general well-being, and worst of all, you’ve been harassing him this entire time trying to convince him to rape me!” Keith pauses, waits to see if he’s committed enough treason yet.

“Continue.” Well, he must do as his liege commands. Besides, it feels amazing.

“You’re disgusting! I am a kit! Your son holds onto his morals while you tell him to abandon his basic principles, pin me down, and fuck me while every instinct in my body screams at me to fight him until my last breath! If my people knew, they’d go to war over me! If your people knew, you’d be overthrown in a day! Rumors run rampant in your court and spread anxiety among the people; your method of rule is archaic; your laws are outdated, convoluted, and contradictory; your infrastructure is weak and crumbling while Lance attempts to hold it together with glue, a wish, and a prayer to your ancestors!"

Keith's voice gets higher and higher, louder and louder as four phoeb's worth of frustration makes its presence known. Granted he's not speaking about Daibazaal's state, but he'll scream about that next time he sees Zarkon. “This entire place is pathetic and you clearly know far more of centuries of slaughter and promoting sexual assault than you do of actually running a kingdom!" Keith glares. "Coran seems pretty okay, though.”

“Yes, Coran is quite wonderful, isn’t he?”

Keith snarls, claws digging into his fists. “That’s all you have to say?”

“All of what you said is true.”

“I agree- Wait. What?”

“I am an alchemist and a soldier, not a leader.” Alfor sighs. “You’re a kit and clearly you’re more capable than I am.”

“I still hate you… Why the fuck are you a king?”

“I married a princess, as was prearranged from the moment of my birth.”

“Try and put my kits into an arranged marriage. I dare you,” Keith hisses, choosing to make this clear now as opposed to later. “I fucking dare you! You do this to them and I will fuck you up!”

“The kits you’re currently incapable of bearing?” Keith’s ears stiffen. He keeps his teeth bared, the ruff along his back tingling as the fur rises. “I’ll commit that to memory.”

“You do that! And I’m so sorry my being a kit is an inconvenience to you.”

Alfor sighs, stops. “No, my people’s culture is a danger to us all. An Altean marriage is not considered official until consummated. Technically speaking, you and Lance are not married, which makes this entire alliance extremely delicate.”

“Perhaps you should have found a way to sort your shit out without trading your children like fucking livestock,” Keith hisses.

“Perhaps. Perhaps I should have done a lot of things. Like appointed a regent, or spent more time with my son.”

“For a start. I’m not backing down on the arranged marriage thing, just so we're clear. Why be a king if you’re not at all competent?”

“My children. When Melinor died, we were still at war. There had already been an attempt on Melinor’s life while she was with child, which ultimately succeeded. We managed to prolong her life until Lancel could survive outside the womb. Then Coran, with the help of our surgeon, removed my premature infant from his mother before he could die with her. I feared that the moment I abdicated, my children and my lover would be slaughtered. Only the royal family and staff are permitted to live inside the castle walls. Once we left, it would only have been a matter of time. I’ve since done the best I can for my people, but like I said…”

Keith took a deep breath, swallowed. This had taken an unnecessarily dark turn. He felt a little bad. But only a little. “Alchemist and soldier. A scholar with a sword. Also, selfish.”

Lance would have done better, made a stronger decision, one that kept both the kingdom and his family alive.

“It is a pretty cool sword though. And so is this.” Alfor steps aside, revealing a crack in a rock face.

Stepping through the crack in the rocks, the only thing Keith can think is that he’s likely to be murdered here. A single chirp echoes through the dark. Keith clamps his jaw shut, reaches for his blade just in case. It’s a grotto, water bubbling up, pooling from beneath the ground, flowing from the walls. Vegetation clings to the walls with roots like spindly fingers. The air is cool and moist, but not overly so.

Alfor sighs, sits on the ground, legs straight out in front of him. “This is one of only three above-ground water sources on Altea, and the largest. There are organisms in this grotto that are found nowhere else in the universe. It is also where I taught both my children to swim.”

“You brought small children to a tiny, isolated ecosystem to teach them to swim.” It must be nice, abusing power. Though Alfor was likely just peering into a microscope, periodically glancing up to make sure his children hadn't drowned.

“Yes. It’s one of the few solid memories I have of myself with my children.”

Keith steps forward, cautious, takes a seat on the ground cover vegetation a few dashes from the Altean. He lays his blade in his lap.

“I did everything I could. I dreamed of learning, excelling, leading my people to some golden future, the king that never should have been, but was. Sometimes, that’s simply not how it happens. And it became clear that while I am a soldier, I cannot lead my people to victory against the Galra. So I sought out other solutions.

“Look at this grotto. Even on a planet without rain, there is still water, still life. In here, there are lives so unique they cannot exist anywhere else. The organisms in this pool will die if I bring them even a spot beyond that little crack in the rocks. When I wed my daughter to Prince Lotor, when she walked hand-in-hand with him, hand-in-hand with Romelle onto that imperial ship, I thought she too might cease to thrive. Imagine my selfish bitterness when I find that she has blossomed into something even more beautiful, that she, her husband, and her lover are growing closer and that perhaps I, in my desire to keep my children as safe as possible, have smothered them.

“In trying to protect them, I have constrained them. I have made them restless, frustrated, and useless. Now, my daughter concerns herself with bringing constructive leisure to your people with the benefit of lowering minor crime and I’m fairly certain my son is steadily worming his way into every nook and cranny of the entire planet and gradually tweaking laws while hoping, for some obscure reason that I won’t notice that he’s finally given up the pretense of not giving a quiznak.”

“You know it’s a pretense?” Keith asks, reluctantly curious.

“Of course I know it’s a pretense. People don’t just suddenly, magically care. When I made a tiny comment that perhaps implied I would perhaps like more support in my research of interstellar tardigrades and Coran showed up the next day with a comprehensive tablet of everything my people know about the little delights, do you think it is because he suddenly became deeply invested in what technologies might be inspired from pseudo-extremophiles? Of course not. Which is why he did not assist me in my research.”

“I… don’t follow,” Keith mumbles.

“He made a one-time effort to prove that he cares, not about tardigrades, but about me. I have not heard a word from him since aside from asking how my research is going when I seem particularly happy or particularly tired. Lance, however, has gotten married and now mysteriously shows up to hold court on the regular, sober and accompanied occasionally by you instead of a different prostitute each movement. I’ve even heard a rumor he’s even finally bothered to learn what taxes are.”

Alfor chuckles, and all Keith can think of is how unbelievably sad that laugh sounds. “I’ve no idea what he’s up to, but my son is far, far smarter than I ever gave him credit for.”

It’s Keith’s turn to laugh, quietly because he hasn’t laughed out loud since he was very small, but it’s a genuine laugh all the same. “You really want to know what he's up to?”

“Yes, I really want to know.”

“He wants…” Keith sighs, smiles. “...to be a hero. Loved and admired and adored as the beautiful, young king who guided his people into that golden era.”

“So you think my son is beautiful?”

“What?! No, that’s not what I-”

“That’s what I heard.”

Keith can hear the taunts in the king’s voice. “Well I don’t know what you heard but-”

“That’s fine. I know what I heard.”

“Did you miss the part where I can’t currently be attracted to anyone including your son?”

“No, no. I got that. But I still think you like him and I still think you find him pretty. Everyone does. Unless of course you wish to tell me that you don’t find my son pretty, in which case you have found the line. Insulting my entire person is fine, but telling me you don’t find my son beautiful? Unacceptable.” Alfor wags a finger at him, grinning.

Keith rolls his eyes. “Fine. I like him. He's a likeable person. Don't expect anything more than that.”

“That’s fine. I’d just like for the two of you to be friends.”

“I’ve… never had a friend before,” Keith whispers, tail thumping on the ground. “Maybe Shiro, my adoptive brother, but that’s it. I like being Lance’s friend. He's... good. I feel like with people in this circle that's not as common as it should be. It makes life harder.”

Keith says nothing about the rumors Lord Lanval spoke of. He’s Lance’s spouse.

“Lance is… He’s a good kid, I think. At least, he wants to be good. I can see that now. I see this burning desire to prove himself and make a difference. I admire his idealism, even if it’s unrealistic.”

“He is making a difference. It’s already started. The alchemy will take more time, since his heart is so distracted, but I can teach him how to use a sword, help him fulfill that silly dream or at least feel like he is. You’ve got your men fighting robots-”

“Fewer injuries. Theoretically.”

“It’s close, but not as good. You’d do better employing imitation weapons. All people think differently, at different speeds, and have different styles of fighting. Fighting a robot doesn’t tell you that your opponent broke their leg as a child and never had it set properly. It limits learning. I can help.”

“Anything else?”

“For tonight?” Keith squeezes the handle of his blade, watches it extend into a sword, inspects himself in it. He looks different, now. Not just healthy, but pampered and soft. Like the overbred little whore his mother told him about. He pushes a lock of hair out of his face. “Your gate should make a noise when it opens. For security. A silent gate means all someone has to do is take out your guards and they just just walk right in without alerting the castle.”

“You say that like taking out guards is easy.”

“It is. Silently and one at a time.”

“Understood. I’ll get it fixed. Now, we should get back, before Lance decides to tear the castle apart looking for us. But one more thing.” Keith looks up at the Altean. "I understand that you despise me, but do try not to ruin what little relationship I have left with my son."

"I won't," Keith whispers. He hates this man and finds him grossly incompetent, but has a begrudging respect for his efforts and devotion to his family. If, gods forbid, it ever came down to the lives of his own children and Lance were gone, he'd likely do the exact same thing. No. He wouldn't have to. He'd call Shiro. “Does he know? How his mother died, I mean.”

“No. We told him she died when he was three. He’s formed memories, based around images of her. He swears they once played in the valley while the juniberries were in bloom… He doesn’t need to know. Melinor chose between herself and him, and he doesn't need to know that.”

Keith says nothing. Lance seems very much unlike the person to manufacture memories of a deceased mother when he has two fathers, but what would he know? It’s not like said fathers have been particularly active in his life. Who knows? Maybe Keith has false memories of his own parents.

His thoughts come grinding to halt as a burning rock falls to his feet in front of him. “Uh… Alfor?”

[kylermalloy]

So, I'm curious, what is your favourite TO episode? If you are able to make a choice ;)

Oh, oh! This is one ‘favorites’ question I have no problem answering.

My favorite episode is and has always been the season 1 finale, “From a Cradle to a Grave.” Honestly, I think this is where the show peaked in its writing. I was on the edge of my seat the entire episode, just loving the excitement, the tension, the themes, and all the narrative threads coming together in one culminating, sweeping episode.

This episode is everything I love about the show. Murder, mayhem, and family :) But seriously! (Omg am I going to have to do a blow-by-blow of the episode? I think I might.)

In that case, the rest goes under a cut. (Spoilers for TO ahead!)

The episode begins with Hayley giving birth, induced by the witches who betrayed Klaus. It’s in the church, that unholy horror of a murder museum.

Intercut with the rose-tinted flashback of pregnant Hayley and Klaus feeling their baby kick, Hayley gives birth as her voiceover promises a safe home and family to “Zoe…or Caitlyn, or Angela.”

*irony* but it hurts.

Klaus and Hayley are, for once, united in the fight for their child. They’ve been at each others’ throats all season, and in the past neither have had trouble getting their way. But in this crucial hour neither the Original hybrid or the uncontrollable mama wolf can do anything.

Can I say: I love love LOVE that look Klaus and Hayley share after the baby is born. Hayley asks to hold her, and they share this…look. Listen, I’m not much of a klayley shipper, but their partnership is golden. They’ve reached a tentative agreement at this point that they’re both going to play a role in raising the baby they created. The trust and pride and satisfaction between them in this moment, despite the horrid circumstances, melts me.

And then Hayley dies.

Klaus screaming NOOOOOOO is all of us in this moment.

Oh! And I almost forgot—Klaus being pinned to the wall in that Christlike pose. That was NOT an accident. It helps tie in to the larger theme they’re going for, that Elijah expounds for us later. He’s not a sinless, perfect Christ figure—in fact, he’s the opposite. He’s the monster under the bed, the devil in the night. One might even go so far as to say he’s the symbol for everyone to pin their problems to. The ultimate scapegoat. Not to say he didn’t exert some effort of his own to get there—this is the price he has to pay for his sins. Crucified, figuratively, forced to watch helpless as his newborn daughter is taken from him and her mother slaughtered.

Then Elijah bursts in. (Bless Daniel Gillies’s funky lil run, it gives me joy in the bleakest of times)

And this, oh goodness, this quiet grief they share over Hayley. Klaus has held her body since he woke up, I’m guessing, this woman who carried his child, chafed against every controlling measure he tried to impose on her, whom he holds some degree of respect and fondness for.

And Elijah, dear Elijah. He pinned all his hopes (hee) to this woman, this werewolf Madonna and her child. He gave her more space in his heart than he’d given anyone, including women who’d haunted him for centuries. And now she’s dead, just like anyone who’s had the misfortune of sparking his affections.

Klaus healing Elijah—HEY REMEMBER EARLY IN THE SEASON WHEN KLAUS BIT ELIJAH AND LEFT HIM TO SUFFER?! Now, Klaus offers his blood without compunction, without hesitation. This time it’s Elijah who hesistates. You have to wonder, is he deliberating which nightmare he would prefer—the torture of wolf venom, or the torture of Hayley’s death and her baby’s disappearance?

“You were bested? My invincible brother?”

Klaus doesn’t rise to the bait like he normally would. He barely reacts. He’s broken. He wanted too much—he played king and gained the whole world, but lost his soul. And then his kingdom.

You see why I love this episode?

We move to the graveyard, where we see not only Klaus and Elijah trapped in a maze, but the witches preparing for a sacrifice. Let’s not gloss over their costume change, either—in the church, for the birth, they were all clad in black. But here, as they prepare for their worst atrocity yet, infanticide, they wear pure white, like they’re going to a christening or something. *irony*

Then comes *the speech* from Elijah, the one that mirrors the pilot so perfectly (I know them both by heart, thank you very much.) In the pilot, Elijah’s speech is rousing, patient, and encouraging. Here, he has lost his patience. Here, he tells us what we’ve been seeing throughout the entire season.

“This is the world you created, Niklaus. All your scheming, the enemies you have made every day do your miserable life—what results did you expect? That your child would be born into a happy life? That the mother would be alive, to know her daughter? That we could live and thrive as some sort of family?”

“That was your fantasy, brother, not mine—”

“No, brother! This was our hope. This was our family’s hope. And now she is gone.” (And then we realize that he’s not just mourning the baby, that family he imagined—he mourns Hayley.) “Do you understand? I let this person in. I let her in. I don’t let people in.”

And Klaus’s reaction! This Klaus, with compassion he deserves only for his closest family—this is the Klaus that melts me. This is the scene that slaps. This is how we tie a bow on a season—nay, a millennium—of brotherly tension. They’re not healed; nothing could truly heal the damage they’ve done to each other (or the damage others have wrought on them) but it’s a start.

And Hayley wakes.

Before I go on, let me mention Marcel. Ally, enemy, friend, surrogate son to Klaus (and that could be all in one episode!) He’s destined for death by hybrid venom, having led his vampires into a massacre. All his attempts to rally his people have failed. He’s lost the city, and his vampires have been slaughtered by Guerrera werewolves. He has almost nothing left.

He goes out, armed to forcibly obtain Klaus’s blood and heal his friends—but he upon finding Klaus he makes very on-brand choice. He saves the baby.

He does what the combined efforts of Klaus, Hayley, and Elijah can’t. He wins Klaus’s trust back by saving his newborn daughter. He protects the innocent instead of contributing to the feud. He murders the girl he once tried to save from the Harvest. And he gets to meet his baby sister.

It’s strategy and heart all in one. It’s very Marcel.

He reconciles with Klaus, and Klaus heals him. They are healed—to some degree.

Then Klaus gets to hold his child for the first time, and we all die.

This is what the season has been building up to. Yes, it’s been building to Klaus being toppled off his throne, yes it’s been building to the splintering of his ego, but THIS is what we’ve been promised since the beginning—before the beginning of the show, even. The Original hybrid, brought to his knees by this child. His child. Someone he loves without reservation. Someone who doesn’t fear him. Someone innocent, who carries none of the burdens of their family. Someone who inspires hope in the hopeless. Someone he would kill for, or die for. (he does both)

And I can’t, I just can’t with them. I love the way JoMo handles the baby in this episode—very gingerly, a little awkwardly. It’s probably been a long time since Klaus has handled a baby (one that he hasn’t eaten D: ) and it’s just. so. endearing.

Meanwhile, Davina has…brought Mikael the destroyer back to life? I remember reading somewhere that Josh was supposed to die in this episode, and while I wouldn’t dare wish to deprive Josh of the happiness (and subsequent heartbreak) awaiting him in s2 and beyond, I think Davina’s motivations would’ve made more sense here if she were seeking to avenge her friend’s death. But I digress. Davina resurrects Mikael. Oh dear.

I haven’t mentioned Genevieve yet! She is one of my favorite antagonists. At first, she seemed to come out of nowhere, and I suspect she might have stepped into the narrative hole that was originally filled by Sophie Deveraux, but regardless I like her conflict. A witch cheated out of life (by an Original, no less!) and coerced to murder by her coven, living and dead. An apologetic killer. Yikes.

Klaus and Elijah then discuss how to protect the baby (and I swear in the opening shot it looks like they’re holding hands—but alas, it’s just a trick of the camera angle.) and Hayley helps them determine that they need to send her away. And let me say, Phoebe Tonkin impressed me more with her acting in seasons 2-3, but she hurts me here too. Ouch.

We get a few expository scenes—Francesca spins the werewolf attack into a gang war (she’s not wrong), Marcel makes a deal, Oliver is still an arrogant brat, and Davina plans to keep Mikael as her secret weapon (you poor child).

Then we get the most painful scenes in the episode, because even though we know this tragedy is a lie, it’s still a loss. The baby did not die, but their pain over losing her is real. Elijah says as much: “grief, after all, is grief.”

Klaus and Cami share a scene, and this is one of my favorites of them. Klaus admits that he finds her…beautiful. And for that reason, she should stay away from him. Whether you read this as romantic or not, it’s still so good. This is a woman Klaus pinpointed as being useful, intelligent, insightful, and strong enough to handle his psyche. They began with a rather twisted relationship (let’s save that essay on autonomy for another day, shall we?) but by the end of the season they’ve shared some experiences and gained more sympathy and respect for each other. And Klaus, in his moment of clarity and grief, recognizes that he is fundamentally not what she needs. (Or we could say this is all part of the lie. We’ll never know.)

Also, let me give a shoutout to the music in this episode! The two songs that play toward the end, Open Hands and Shallows are stellar. Speaking of the end! Let’s get into the biggest surprise this episode has for us.

“In what world will she be safe without her father? Who can protect her better than we?”

“There is one person.”

Rebekah. The thousand-year-old beauty queen I honestly thought we’d never see again after her exit in episode 16. The Original sister, the girl who loved too easily, who broke her brother’s heart and incurred his wrath. Who left to live her own life, who only could leave after her favorite brother set her free. Who always wanted what she couldn’t have, a family of her own.

And here she is, smiling at Klaus even though last time they screamed themselves hoarse in a graveyard and he put an enchanted stake through her chest, inches from her heart. She loves and hates him in equal measure, but she has nothing but love for this newborn baby. It’s a peace offering and the ultimate gesture of faith. Klaus could not trust anyone else in the world with his daughter, but he will hand her over to his beloved sister. It is the PERFECT way to end the season, especially with their parting words. Rebekah wants to know the baby’s name.

“Hope. Her name is Hope.”

They’ve been planning this gimmick from day ONE, I’m telling you. Ever since the pilot, when Elijah asks, “who’s more pathetic—the man who sees hope to make his family whole again? Or the coward who only sees the world through his own fear?” And I don’t care how cliche and gimmicky it is—if I did, I wouldn’t be watching this CW show. It’s perfect. This is what the baby means. She is the hope for this broken, broken family. She’s no savior—she doesn’t have to do anything but exist. But she reminds these siblings who, after a thousand years of bloodshed and fighting, are “the definition of cursed—always and forever,” that they can be better. They don’t have to remain the shells of who they were. They can pick up the pieces and begin a new chapter.

And that’s what this episode does for me, folks. It’s honestly too much to handle. I cannot watch this episode like a normal person—I writhe and scream and laugh maniacally and recite the lines. It’s a trip.

This episode concludes the season so strongly. It’s actually a major part of why I rank season 1 as my favorite! I did an official ranking of all 5 TO seasons a while back, which was a lot of fun.

[queerchoicesblog]

The Gala (OH, Harper x F!MC)

Nobody asked for a sequel of Unexpected News (& Misunderstandings as well) but I wrote it anyway! As my confidence in a good Book 2 for Open heart decreases every day, I found myself missing my non-canon slowburn pairing and voilà: the night of the gala brings some good news and an unexpected -and long waited- turn of events for Dr. Emery and Dr. Valentine. Special thanks to Kyra :D

Perma Tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @bhavf @melodyofgraves @abunchofbadchoices @silverhawkenzie @strangerofbraidwood @kamilahmykween @desiree-0816 @universallypizzataco @gayestchoices @embarrassingsmartphonegame @lilyofchoices @somewillwin @allaboutchoices  

Harper x F!MC Tag: @andi-the-cat @korrasamixfan @delphinusbae @noeschoices @jellymonster

Word Count: 2250

Disclaimer: For previous chapters of the Harper x F!MC, check my masterlist (too lazy to post all the links her) + I mentioned Avery Wilshere, in this fic it will be a male Avery as I pictured it male in my Platinum playthrough, sorry for that!

__________________________

The Edenbrook Hospital Fundraising Gala was in full swing. Everything was surprisingly running smoothly: Dr. Naveen Banerji gave a gracious and inspiring keynote speech, acknowledging and praising the hard work of the medical staff and encouraging patrons to support research and the new pioneering programs in favor of the community launching soon. The gala guest Avery Wilshere took the stage and echoed his words, remembering how the doctors of Edenbrook went above and beyond to cure and eventually save the life of one of his dearest friends before charming the audience with his soft voice and ballads.

Dr. Valentine had never been to a gala before: she felt thrilled and awkward at the same time standing there, in a fancy hall, dressed to the nines eating canapes and sipping expensive wine. Shaking hands with embarrassingly rich people and trying to look her best professional self while enjoying the party. She took a moment to check in on her friends. A soft smile drew on her lips as she spotted Sienna and Danny slow dancing downtempo and lost in each other's arms on the dance floor. Not far a visibly smitten Phoebe was adjusting Elijah's bowtie, spreading a blush over Dr. Greene's cheeks. Seeing her friends happy and in the company of their loved ones comforted her, a content feeling taking in inside her. Then she noticed Bryce and Jackie bantering at the bar and shook her head laughing. She rejoiced again seeing the shade of pink on Aurora's face as she shyly nodded and squeezed closer to a smiling Raphael for a selfie. It was so endearing how the young Dr. Emery still struggled a little to come to terms with the genuine affection all of them showed her, to people around her age willing to include her, Aurora, without ulterior motives than to enjoy her company.

Now it was her turn. She took a quick nervous look to Kyra who just nodded and winked in encouragement. I suppose you don't exactly have a choice, self, she thought, sighing to steady herself and turn. She surfed through the crowd, flashing quick smiles to fellow doctors as she passed by...until she saw her. The breath caught in her throat as she froze in place: Harper was glowing in an elegant blue dress - blue navy was definitely Harper’s favorite color- and finely jeweled, crimson over her perfectly shaped lips. The Head of Neurosurgery was in the company a bunch of doctors and wealthy patrons: she looked perfectly at ease, chatting and sipping a glass of champagne. Dr. Valentine diverted her eyes, pondering her options.

Nah, maybe it wasn't the right time. It was silly, maybe she should leave and..

But it was too late: when she raised her eyes again, she met Harper’s, looking in her direction. She gave her a quick smile and a nod, that Meredith immediately mirrored still wondering if she should just keep walking and pretend she wasn’t just passing by. Dr. Emery anticipated her once again. The neurosurgeon graciously excused herself and parted from the group, heading straight towards the young fellow.

“Hello, Valentine. Enjoying the party?” she greeted her with a smile.

"Oh yes, it's..." Meredith's eyes wandered around the hall looking for the right words. "Amazing. And impressive. Dr. Banerjii and the board went above and beyond for this gala night"

"Indeed" Dr. Emery agreed, following Meredith's gaze before looking back at her. "I noticed that Naveen and Ethan showed you off to the VIP guests over here"

A light blush spread over Valentine's face as she minimized.

"They just introduced me, I wouldn't go that far...but it was kind of them, I guess"

Harper flashed a quick smile as if she was expecting that kind of answer.

"I'm glad they did. After all you've been through, you deserved a little victory lap, Valentine"

"Do you think so?" Meredith sighed.

"You know me: have I ever said anything I didn't mean?"

Meredith offered a weak smile and shook her head in response. Then she remembered her chat with Kyra and she felt conflicted again, but Harper was giving a look filled with curiosity as if she read her mind and knew, just knew that she was keeping something from her.

"Actually, Dr. Emery I was kind of...hoping to bump into you"

"Really? What's the matter?" Harper asked, shifting slightly to listen more carefully.

“This is…embarrassing, very silly I should probably-” Meredith started but froze mid.-sentence.

“I’m sure it’s not. So?” Harper inquired, taking a sip of her champagne.

“Well…” Meredith swallowed hard and fiddled with her own hands “I somehow got involved in a bet”

“A bet?” Harper echoed, flashing her an enigmatic and slightly amused smile. “What kind of bet, if I may? Please tell me it has nothing to do with scalpels because I don’t have one in my purse. Stupidly I forgot to bring them to the gala”

“Oh no” Valentine chuckled. “It’s…Kyra, the girl over there….she bets that I...well that I would never have the guts to ask you to dance”

“Oh” Dr. Emery raised a surprised eyebrow to her before cocking her head to look over Valentine’s shoulder.

On the other side of the room, a young woman wearing a colorful turban excitedly waved at her with a big smile.

“And what did she ask you to do if you failed?” Harper asked, waving back at Kyra.

“Running the upcoming Boston marathon on her behalf”

“Well, I was expecting something worse to be h-”

“Barefoot and wearing a t-shirt that says ‘too chicken to ask Dr. Emery to dance’”

Harper gave her a long look before both of them burst into laughter.

“I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s also tragic on my end” Meredith chuckled.

“It seems you have quite a lot to lose here, Valentine. Now the question is…what are you gonna do?”

“W-what do you mean?” Meredith asked suddenly less confident than before.

Harper gave her an amused smile and leaned a bit closer:

“You haven’t asked me to dance yet. If that’s what you wanted to do”

“Oh, yeah, right!” Meredith mumbled before recollecting herself.

The notes of one of Avery's most loved song started playing in the background as if on cue, eliciting a round of applause and cheer from the audience.

“Will you dance with me, Dr. Emery?”

Harper gave her one of her long looks before breaking into a smile and stopping a man in a dashing tuxedo passing by.

“Grant, dear, sorry. Would you mind holding that for me?” she asked, handing him her glass.

“Sure, Harper. Hitting the dance floor?” he asked winking at the two of them.

“I think so” she smiled back.

“Cool, just don’t ask for your drink later, Harper! Have fun, ladies!” he said with a huge grin before being approached by another patron.

Dr. Emery shook her head and turned towards Meredith, flashing a smile.

“Shall we?”

Meredith's knees threatened to give in as Harper gently grazed her arm, a light touch that made her heart flutter, but she managed to keep walking and mirror the neurosurgeon's smile.

Kyra later smiled to herself observing the two women dancing in the crowd, slowly letting themselves go and forget about the gala, being more confident around each other only to fall into an awkward silence as they swayed to the beat of  Avery's signature song, Lift Me Up

I tried to resist you I tried to keep my distance I tried to play it cool I'm no match for your persistence

I knew it, she beamed as a few songs later they moved to the bar arms in arms and spent the rest of the night chatting and laughing, Meredith gesticulating, too lost in some kind of deep conversation to be nervous, and Harper, listening carefully resting her chin in her hand.

They were still together when the gala came to an end, walking side by side into the parking lot among the multitude of doctors and guests exchanging parting greetings and a last round of chats.

"Who would have thought that a gala could be so much fun?" Harper commented, smiling to herself.

"Thanks for saving me from the deadly dull of patron conversation" she whispered conspiratorially, leaning closer to Meredith so that only she could hear.

"Anytime! But I should be the one thanking you: you saved me from the most disastrous and embarrassing Boston marathon ever" Meredith giggled.

"Yeah...I must say it would have been quite a sight. I can see the headlines-"

"No, it would have been awful, thank you!" Meredith interrupted her before laughing again. "You're an awful tease Dr. Emery, you know that right?"

Harper just shrugged and smiled.

"But I must admit I'm glad you decided not to run the marathon" she took a brief pause as if to ponder her words or to cherish the realization that just crossed her mind and made her smile to herself, almost shyly. "It's been ages since I had a night like this. Of course, it wasn't all fun, there were work duties too but...dancing, actually having a good carefree conversation with someone, that's rather unusual for me these days. Well, in a while, to be honest. I almost forgot how it was and I missed it. Thanks, Valentine"

The soft shift in her tone was so earnest that left Meredith a bit puzzled as a flashback of Mr. Linen Suit leaving Edenbrook with Harper. Maybe the date didn't work out?

"No need to thank me, it was my pleasure. I had a great time too, it was nice spending time with you outside work. Well, more or less as you said"

A light shade of pink colored her cheeks.

"You mean it?"

Meredith turned: seeing Harper surprised that someone might enjoy her company outside work, her personal self talking of ordinary stuff not the myth, the public persona was unexpected. And quite heartwarming as well. She barely refrained from the urge to reach out and squeeze her hand or pull her into a tight embrace.

"Of course I do" she said instead.

Harper smiled, a rather shy and grateful smile so different from her usual dignified ones at work, and nodded.

"I'm glad to hear. Maybe we should-" the neurosurgeon stopped mid-sentence, unsure whether to finish the sentence that slipped out of her mouth.

"Maybe we should...?"

Harper slowed down to a stop and after much internal debate, she shook her head and continued.

"Do you like Thai food?"

"Yes, sure but why?"

"I was thinking that maybe we should do it again, spending time together outside good old Edenbrook and I happen to know a lovely place downton. I'd love to take you out to dinner there"

"Yo-you would?" Meredith managed to stutter as she blushed furiously. "Like casually or-"

"Yes, I would" Harper laughed softly, amused of how flustered Valentine got in the turn of seconds. "And it's a date only if we both feel like that, no pressure. So what do you say?"

Dr. Valentine refrained herself from screaming the easiest yes she had ever formulated.

"Yes, yes I would love to".

Harper's face relaxed a bit.

"Excellent! So how's...let me think of my schedule...how's Friday? Does it work for you?"

"Friday's perfect" she confirmed, her smile barely containing the happiness that surged inside her.

She forgot about the rest of the world for a moment: Harper was smiling back at her, the most beautiful smile Meredith had ever seen when the charm was broken by a sudden realization that made the surgeon laugh.

"I'm just afraid...I don't have your number. I don't know how to text you the address" she smiled apologetically.

"Oh right!" Meredith chuckled too.

"It's usually the other way round, right? First number then asking out" Dr. Emery shook her head as she picked her phone out of her purse.

"I suppose, buy it doesn't matter, we can change that" Valentine commented outstretching her hand.

As Harper handed her her phone, she quickly typed down her number. After checking it twice, she gave it back, a huge smile on her face.

"There, fixed"

Over Harper's shoulder, in the distance, she spotted Kyra and the rest of the group walking in the opposite direction. Rafael saw her and mouthed something about a uber. Valentine nodded and sighed.

"I'm afraid that's my cue, sadly" she apologized. "I have an early shift tomorrow and..."

"It's okay, I would have offered to give you a ride home but I wasn't sure if it would put you in a bad place back at home" Harper smiled, a hint of tease in her hazel eyes. "And I know you're a professional, Valentine"

"Meredith" the fellow corrected her. "Just Meredith"

Dr. Emery's eyes gleamed again in the dark of the night.

"I'll text you very soon, Meredith"

"Please do, D-"

"Harper"

As her friend almost disappeared from view and the neurosurgeon was smiling down at her, Meredith bit her lip and allowed herself to be a little daring for once. Without thinking twice, she leaned closer and pressed a quick kiss on the doctor's cheek, leaving Harper to gape in surprise.

"Thanks for making my day. Goodnight, Harper" she whispered softly.

That said, she parted and walked towards her friends, head over heels and still not fully processing what happened, but feeling like the heroine of a romantic comedy, her own romantic movie as she heard Harper, the Harper Emery who just asked her out and now visibly flustered, whispering "Goodnight, Meredith".

[princess-of-france]

Also- since Love's Labour's Lost has been on the brain, and you are such a cool theatre person: dreamcast for LLL? Thank you so much!

OMFG MY FAVORITE COMEDY YES YES YES 

*blows kazoo*

(Also, I’m cracking up at you thinking I’m a “cool theater person,” because I promise that’s a wonderfully accidental illusion; in reality, I’m just a cryptid who’s entire genetic makeup consists of triple-espresso lattes, Gmail push notifications, Shakespeare plays, and tears. But you’re very kind!)

Before I answer this amazing Ask, I think I should clarify that my dreamcast for LLL already exists — or, at least, it existed in 2018 — and I had the dazzling, life-affirming pleasure of seeing them perform my beloved plotless comedy at my favorite theater festival on the planet: the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.

So here’s to Amanda Dennart and her IMPECCABLE Love’s Labour’s Lost:

^^^ Yes, that is King Ferdinand of Navarre, played by the once and future Daniel José Molina, meeting the Princess of France — the fabulous Alejandra Escalante — with a paper bag over his motherfucking head so that he doesn’t break his kingly oath of Not Looking At Female For 3 Years. (Fun fact: these two are now married!)

[Photo credit: Jenny Graham.]

BUT NOW TO THE MAIN EVENT:

Critically, I think LLL is a play about eight young people experiencing love for the first time and struggling to reconcile that love with their desire to be the Cleverest Person in the Room. Like so many whip-smart young people, the Crazy Eight equate cavalier carelessness with power, but the problem is: true love requires radical, wholehearted, unbearable vulnerability. It demands chaos and madness and mess and mistakes. True love asks us to be willing to look like an idiot. And most young people just aren’t ready for that, the first time it happens. It’s why the ending of this play is so goddam devastating.

And it’s why it’s so important to me that my cast list for the Crazy Eight reflects the youth, innocence, and inexperience I see baked into every one of their lines. Love has to seem like a first-time visitor to all of them. Love has to shake up their worldview like a snow globe, bowl them over, and then leave them impermeably altered. Love has to be the thing that makes them grow up. 

So, with that, I am proud to present...

~THE NAVARRE NERDS~

1. KING FERDINAND OF NAVARRE — Paapa Essiedu

Love of my complete life. I don’t know if there’s a better actor with a bigger heart anywhere on earth. His Henry VI was utterly inspired, so I know he can be Kingly. Plus, he’s a passionate advocate for decolonizing Shakespeare and making classical theater accessible to all and...yeah. I adore him. 

2. BEROWNE — Anthony Boyle

THIS IDIOT. I had to find a picture of him laughing, because he’s played a lot of Moody Broody Types, but OMG when he cracks a grin... Anthony is just a jewel of an actor: versatile, intense, thoughtful, emotionally articulate. He’ll keep Paapa’s Ferdie laughing, but also bring out the big guns for Berowne’s gorgeous character arc from horny cynic to lovesick wooer to chastened fool.

3. DUMAINE — Alfred Enoch

Perfect angel darling. There’s no doubt in my mind that Alfie can do Smug, Suave, Would-Be-James Bond Dumaine as well as Dorky, Clumsy, Foot-Constantly-in-Mouth Dumaine with equal flair. Also, I love him. <3

4. LONGAVILLE — George MacKay

Apparently, this sweetheart is playing Hamlet soon in the new Ophelia movie, which is HILARIOUS, because he looks like the most Innocent Innocent to ever Innocent. I suppose this is what makes him a good actor. And he is very good.

~LES FILLES~

5. PRINCESS OF FRANCE — Lily James

This goddess is always getting cast as ingenues who fall in love with their eyes and hearts wide open, which is all fine and good. But I wanna see her fall in love against her will, against her better judgment, and with stubborn denial attending her every step of the way...partly because Lily is up to the challenge, and partly because it would be precious af.

6. ROSALINE — Karla Crome

BAMF. Berowne won’t know what hit him. Karla is talented in a way most of us can only dream about, but even more importantly, she is whip-smart, self-possessed, and in love with herself. Get it, girl.

7. KATHARINE — Shay Mitchell

It’s hard to beat Shay for Sleek, Feline Intelligence. I like to imagine Katharine as the ultimate duchess: rich, spoiled, overeducated, overprivileged, dressed to the nines every minute of every day. But she carries so much pain behind the mask. Being fabulous is no substitute for losing your big sister. And I think Shay can do justice to all those layers.

8. MARIA — Francesca Mills

I had the honor of seeing Francesca in Rachel Chavkin’s epic production of American Clock at the Old Vic this past winter. In a cast of over 20 brilliant actors, she emerged as the brightest star. I have never fallen in love with an actress so quickly. Sweet, inquisitive, sassy, and smart, with a crystalline voice, Francesca is the ultimate heroine. Her Maria will be the most adorable in human history, I think.

9. BOYET — Tamsin Greig

Imho, no one does Blustery Spinster Energy better than Tamsin. (See her performance as Miss Bates in the 2009 BBC miniseries, Emma.) My favorite version of Boyet is the adult female chaperone that the Princess and her ladies gleefully dress up as a man to stymie Ferdinand’s guards. It makes 5.2 all the more giddy and revelatory, and also it just makes narrative sense. Tamsin will play the beleaguered and increasingly exasperated Wine Mom to perfection.

~THE PSEUDO-SCHOLARS~

10. DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO — Riz Ahmed

I just can’t even express how much I love Riz. He dissolves completely into every single role he plays, no matter how absurd the character may seem on paper. And that is a very pertinent qualification for playing Armado, because he has the hard-fought distinction of being the most Abjectly Batshit Character in this bonkers play. Also I just really wanna get his autograph help

11. MOTE — Kiernan Shipka

THIS GIRL. Oh man, I don’t even know where to begin. She’s so flipping good at her craft, and at such a young age!! Honestly, I’d hate her if she weren’t so damn precious. All she needs to do is learn how to do a Scottish accent and then she’ll be 100% ready to play the wee snickering Watson to Armado’s pirate-Holmes. I’ve always read Mote as Armado’s platonic life partner slash surrogate daughter. She’s probably the only person in the world who knows Armado’s social security number. (Plus, Riz is a sweetheart, so you just know they’ll become great friends!)

12. DR. HOLOFERNES — Olivia Colman

What can I say? She’ll play the broad, slapstick comic relief stock character of Il Dottore to perfection...right up until the moment she doesn’t. Then she’ll make us all sob. “This is not generous, not gentle, not humble!” (V.ii.2570)

13. NATHANIEL — Cyril Nri

Can’t you just see this angel loving the crap out of Olivia’s Holofernes?? Like, he probably built an extension onto his rectory home JUST to give the famous visiting Italian academic a place to stay during her time in Navarre. Great actor, great human, great smile. 11/10

~BELOW-STAIRS~

14. COSTARD — Andy Samberg

My only Costard. I mean, he’s the only white boy I know who could play such a cowardly fuckboi of a character without turning him into a 2-D caricature. Not to mention the fact that Andy is a spectacular improv actor, so he can invent a lot of new lines and jokes for the hallboy! Win-win!

15. JAQUENETTA — Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Because I want the oft-disregarded Jaquenetta to be the Narrator of this whole wild shebang, I need an actor who can foster a deliciously familiar, non-4th-wall relationship with the audience and/or camera. Phoebe is the undisputed Queen of this. She’ll be STELLAR. And she and Andy will make people cry from laughing so hard.

16. CONSTABLE ANTHONY DULL — Andre Braugher

I love the idea of this Juilliard-trained classical actor sitting quietly with his crossword puzzle in the back of the polished oak Navarre library, watching a group of the Dumbest Smart People in human history talking themselves into a tizzy over false Latin and prickets and excrement and bad, mis-delivered iambic hexametric sonnets and just chuckling to himself. (Also: BB99 reunion!)

17. MERCADÉ — Randall Park

Tbh, I feel bad giving such a small part to such a phenomenal actor, but the thing about Mercadé is that he is like the BIGGEST small part in all of Shakespeare. He’s right up there with the First Servant in Lear in terms of the sheer narrative punch he packs into just a few short lines. And I think the best Mercadé is the one who has a personal relationship to the Princess. Maybe he was a personal aide to her father, the King? Maybe he helped raise her? Regardless, I think their conversation at the end of 5.2 is more than just the delivery of a sad message. It’s a communion between two grieving patriots of France. I want an actor whose warm heart will shine through that brief interchange. Randall can obviously do that, tenfold.

Aaaaaaand I think that’s it! Thanks again for the Ask, Lauren!! This was an absolute treat. xx Claire

[papermoonloveslucy]

LUCY: 40 YEARS OF TELEVISION

1954  Part One ~ JANUARY to JUNE

Season three of “I Love Lucy” concludes with another Emmy win for the series and for Vivian Vance.  February would see the premiere of the film “The Long, Long Trailer.” 

"The Million-Dollar Idea" (ILL S3;E13) ~ January 11, 1954

Lucy takes a page from Jackie Gleason with this get-rich-quick scheme selling salad dressing on television!  Frank Nelson is back as yet another TV host, Dickie Davis.  Filmed November 26, 1953. 

"Ricky Minds the Baby" (ILL S3;E14) ~ January 18, 1954

Ricky takes a page from “Father Knows Best” when telling a bedtime story to his son. To assure that the potential crying of the Mayer Twins (Little Ricky) didn’t hold up the filming, this is one of the few episodes not filmed in front of a live audience. Filmed December 3, 1953.  

"The Charm School" (ILL S3;E15) ~ January 25, 1954

Best remembered for Natalie Schafer (”Gilligan’s Island”) as Charm School proprietress Phoebe Emerson. The week before this episode first aired, Schafer made an appearance on CBS TV’s "Topper” as a character named (coincidentally) Mrs. Vance. Filmed December 10, 1953. 

"Sentimental Anniversary" (ILL S3;E16) ~ February 4, 1954

This episode was filmed on December 17, 1953, just two weeks after Desi surprised Lucy with a 13th wedding anniversary party at the Mocambo. Includes real snapshots of Lucy and Desi that were taken from Lucille’s dressing room!  Despite the color photo above, the episode was shot and aired in black and white and has not (to date) been colorized. 

"Fan Magazine Interview" (ILL S3;E17) ~ February 8, 1954

This episode marks the first appearance of Kathryn Card as Minnie Finch, although she would be best remembered for playing Lucy’s mother, Mrs. McGillicuddy.  Best remembered for a joke about the controversial Kinsey Sex Study.  The first episode filmed after the holiday break, on January 7, 1954. 

“Sixth Annual Primetime Emmy Awards” ~ February 11, 1954

Only broadcast on local television station KHA (aka KCLA-TV). The series won for Best Situation Comedy, as did Vivian Vance for playing Ethel Mertz. Lucille was nominated but lost to Eve Arden in “Our Miss Brooks” (ironically filmed at Desilu Studios).  William Frawley lost to Art Carney as Ed Norton on “The Honeymooners.”  

“Toast of the Town: The MGM Story" ~ February 14, 1954

Lucy and Desi appeared on Ed Sullivan’s show to mark the 30th Anniversary of Metro Goldwyn Mayer (MGM). Three days later, their MGM color film The Long, Long Trailer premiered.   

"Oil Wells" (ILL S3;E18) ~ February 15, 1954

It was a bit of a stretch for the Ricardos and Mertzes to strike oil in midtown Manhattan, but that didn’t stop the writers!  Featuring Sandra Gould, who is probably best remembered as the second Gladys Kravitz on “Bewitched” (1966-1971). Filmed January 14, 1954. 

“What’s My Line? (S2;E25) ~ February 21, 1954

As Mystery Guest, Lucille Ball uses the same voice she created when she played a Martian at the top of the Empire State Building in “Lucy is Envious” (ILL S3;E23). Host John Daly tells the panel that Lucy is speaking Martian. That  episode was filmed on February 16, 1954 just five days before this quiz show. 

"Ricky Loses His Temper" (ILL S3;E19) ~ February 22, 1954

Includes an appearance by Madge Blake (Aunt Harriet on “Batman”) as Mrs. Mulford, who owns the hat shop Lucy patronizes. Famed Western ventriloquist Max Terhune makes a brief appearance with his dummy, Elmer Sneezeweed!  Filmed January 21, 1954. 

"Home Movies" (ILL S3;E20) ~ March 1, 1954

Home movie technology was new in the 1950s, but that doesn’t stop Ricky. Due to logistics, this episode was filmed (January 28, 1954) without a studio audience. Once the gag reel of Ricky’s audition had been created, the entire episode was shown to an audience and their laughter recorded for the final broadcast.  Includes the songs “Vaya Con Dios” and I’m An Old Cowhand (On the Rio Grande)”. 

"Bonus Bucks" (ILL S3;E21) ~ March 8, 1954

The episode was inspired by the popular newspaper contests of matching serial numbers on a bill which were called ‘Lucky Bucks’ but due to the show’s sponsorship with Philip-Morris cigarettes, the word ‘Lucky’ [as in Strike] was to be avoided.  Once again Lucy tries to outpace a speedy conveyor belt, this time one that leads to a laundry starch vat!  Filmed February 4, 1954. 

"Ricky's Hawaiian Vacation" (ILL S3;E22) ~ March 22, 1954

Hawaii was a favorite get-away for the Arnaz family, but the Ricardos never leave their living room.  Includes Frank Nelson reprising his role as quiz master Freddie Fillmore hosting a TV show called “Be A Good Neighbor.”  Lots of physical comedy by Lucy adds to the fun!  Filmed February 11, 1954, the same day that the show won its second Emmy.  

"Lucy Is Envious" (ILL S3;E23) ~ March 29, 1954

“It’s a moo-moo!” Inspired by Orson Welles’ “War of the Worlds” radio broadcast, Lucy and Ethel take a promotional gig as women from Mars atop the Empire State Building!  Mary Jane Croft makes her first appearance as Cynthia Harcourt, the socialite Lucy is envious of, and Herb Vigran plays the publicity agent who hires the girls. Filmed February 16, 1954. 

"Lucy Writes a Novel" (ILL S3;E24) ~ April 5, 1954

Having already tackled a play (”A Tree Grows in Havana” / “The Perils of Pamela”) and an operetta (”The Pleasant Peasant”), Lucy tackles a novel, a roman a clef she titles “Real Gone With the Wind.”  Filmed March 4, 1954. 

"Lucy's Club Dance" (ILL S3;E25) ~ April 12, 1954

This episode was rerun in season five with a new opening that set the rerun up as a flashback. Lucy is back on the sax and TV Guide gets some publicity as a thank you for putting Desi Jr. and Lucy on their first national edition’s cover. Filmed March 11, 1954. 

"The Black Wig" (ILL S3;E26) ~ April 19, 1954

Inspired by the Italian film stars of the time, Lucy wants her hair short and dark.  While Ricky disapproves, he (amazingly) fails to recognize her setting off an elaborate charade to test his fidelity; one that ends up with Ethel dressed up “like a trip around the world.”  Filmed on March 24, 1954, in black and white, despite the colorized photo above. 

"The Diner" (ILL S3;E27) ~ April 26, 1954

This episode and the “The Black Wig” (ILL S3;E26) had their filming and broadcast order switched so that Bill’s Diner ended up becoming the set for Tony’s Restaurant where black wig Lucy and Geisha/American Indian/Eskimo Ethel meet Ricky and Fred for their fake blind date. The episode ends in true vaudevillian comic style with everyone getting a cream pie in the face.

"Tennessee Ernie Visits" (ILL S3;E28) ~ May 3, 1954

The first of two linked episodes guest-starring country music personality Tennessee Ernie Ford.  Not only would he return during season 4, he would guest-star on “The Lucy Show” and “Here’s Lucy.”  This is the first mention of Mrs. McGillicuddy, Lucy’s scatter-brained mother.  Filmed April 1, 1954. 

"Tennessee Ernie Hangs On" (ILL S3;E29) ~ May 10, 1954

Lucy tries everything to get rid of her country-fried house guest.  The finale finds Ernie and the gang on television singing “Y’All Come!”  Filmed April 8, 1954. 

"The Golf Game" (ILL S3;E30) ~ May 17, 1954

Lucille Ball was a golf widow on camera and off. Desi Arnaz even built a home on a golf course. Even her second husband Gary Morton was addicted to the game.  This episode features real-life golf pro Jimmy Demaret.  He returned for another golf-themed episode on “The Lucy Show.”  Filmed April 15, 1954.

"The Sublease" (ILL S3;E31) ~ May 24, 1954

So that the Ricky can take a booking in California, the Ricardos sublet their apartment to Mr. Beecher (Jay Novello) who jumps at his own shadow. When the booking falls through, Lucy goes to extremes to get Mr. Beecher out!  Filmed April 22, 1954.

ALSO IN 1954...

“THE MILTON BERLE SHOW” (S6;E23) ~ May 4, 1954

Berle's guests include Vivian Vance and William Frawley from “I Love Lucy” (1951) and singer/actress Janet Blair. Miltie rents a new rehearsal hall from landlords Fred and Ethel Mertz.  Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz do not appear.