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ghost-in-the-stalls · 4 years ago

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Neil Josten's Playlist Part 1: Andrew

Masterpost and link to the playlist in its entirety

These songs are going to be the biggest chunk of the playlist. Are we surprised?

Okay here we go:

1. Take Me To Church - Hozier

I was not joking about Neil being a Hozier fan. You cannot tell me this boy doesn’t hear this song on the radio and immediately think of Andrew. Every time it came on he’d make sure the radio stayed on the station so he could listen all the way through. It got overplayed but he’s probably the only person in the world who never got sick of it at the time. He got used to listening to the same songs over and over again with his mom, so he's even comforted by repeating songs now.

5. Stay - Rihanna & Mikky Ekko

So one night, after several nightmares within the span of a few hours, Neil wasn’t too proud to admit that he absolutely wasn’t going to get any decent sleep that night. Andrew took him on a long drive without even having to be asked. The silence was shoving Neil even further into his thoughts, so Andrew turned on the radio. He settled on a station that was playing softer music that Neil probably wouldn’t hate, and he just kept driving. Once this song came on, Neil became enamored with it. It’s another one of those songs that makes him think of Andrew, but it’s more because he listens to the lyrics and realizes Andrew has said half of these things to him. It’s now a song that, even years later when he and Andrew are living in separate states and desperately trying to land contracts with the same team, Neil listens to on bad nights.

6. River - Bishop Briggs

Listen... this is just another really solid Andreil song.......... and I’m absolutely positive this is a song that Neil would like. Let me have this.

For Neil everything with Andrew is simultaneously loud and quiet and intense and gentle and hard and soft. He’s never known someone to make him feel so much yet calm him down from panic to nothing so smoothly. Even their intimacy holds so much complexity and weight to it. This is a song I feel like Andrew introduced him to, because it absolutely makes him think of Neil too (not that he'd say that out loud).

8. Dreams - The Cranberries

Renee likes the Cranberries and she got Andrew into them too. Andrew pretends this song doesn’t make him think about Neil but no one is actually fooled by that when they catch him listening to it. Least of all Neil because he feels the same thing listening to the lyrics. Not much explanation past that. Neil vibes with this song right from the opening lyrics (”Oh, my life is changing every day in every possible way”), to the comparison of a lover to a dream (he still remembers when Andrew called him a pipedream, even if he didn’t understand at the time), to the vocal breaks in the middle and at the end where it just sounds like someone singing their soul right out of their body.

Neil is a private person and not someone to ever scream his love from rooftops. But that doesn’t mean the concept doesn’t hit him deep. He’s been through a lot and he’s come out the other end with a love of his own that’s deeper and more than anything he ever imagined. His lack of expressing passion about most things (Andrew) doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel incredibly passionate about certain things in a way that cuts deep. He found love and it’s incredible

12. Easily - Bruno Major

I've mentioned this previously, but I hc that Andrew and Neil almost broke up in Neil’s last year at Palmetto. Not going to get into it, but this song had a big part in pulling Neil through that whole year, ESPECIALLY the situation with Andrew. Maybe I’ll make a separate, more detailed post about that sometime. But basically I hc that neither of them were in good spots emotionally. And Andrew was very close to giving up on everything - including Neil.

They managed to pull through and stop one another from giving up on it all, even when things got really hard.

15. Sunlight - Hozier

No I’m not done with the Hozier songs. Did I say I was done with the Hozier songs? Not gonna happen.

Anyway so the story of this song is he was talking with Allison and Nicky once about music and their SOs (well he was listening more than talking but he wasn’t ignoring them), and Nicky outright asked him if there was a song that made him think of Andrew. He’d heard this one for the first time recently and it was just the most recent of many songs that make him think of Andrew, so he threw it out there to humor them. They hadn’t heard it but were very doubtful that any song titled “Sunlight” could have anything to do with Andrew at all, so he showed it to them. They didn’t really change their minds and instead Allison went on another tirade about how Neil is gone for Andrew in a way that Andrew couldn’t possibly be for him and how she was worried for him. Nicky stood up for his cousin a bit, but ultimately was still agreeing with Allison to a degree that Neil may be expecting more than what Andrew could give him blah, blah, blah.

Neil wasn’t happy. Instead he found himself latching onto this song even further and becoming even more assured that it was a song for Andrew. Just because the others refused to understand who Andrew really is and the ways he’s learning to grow and heal and the fact that he’s someone worth loving god dammit, doesn’t mean Andrew is the monster they make him out to be.

For a while afterwards, he’ll put this song on if he’s ever given the aux cord. Because he’s petty. If Andrew catches on to what he’s trying to do, he never says anything.

19. Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

This is definitely a song that makes Neil think of Andrew, though he'd never tell him that. They have both played both parts in this song, and it makes Neil's heart ache to think of all the bad nights that they weren't there for one another - whether it was distance or stubbornness or just general shitty circumstance. They both can get so trapped in their own heads in different (and sometimes similar) ways, and they're relationship has really been built in a lot of ways on the depth of emotional support they've learned to give one another in rough times. That steadiness, that presence that stays by you and keeps you grounded even when you want to crawl out of your own skin and hide somewhere far away. That is what they give one another.

24. Day After Day - Badfinger

This is another one he used to listen to with his mother, but he didn't really latch onto it until his final year at Palmetto when he and Andrew were doing long-distance. He learned in that year just how sentimental he had become in some ways. He finds it in the bone-deep longing he gets on late nights when he just wishes he could lie in bed next to Andrew - because he knew that's when he sleeps best. He'd listen to this song and let himself wallow for a little while, and then eventually put it away and carry on because he didn't have the time to slow down and feel things too hard.

Things are much better now and he doesn't feel as bad when he listens to the song. It's just a pleasant sound he leans into sometimes.

26. Don't Dream It's Over - Crowded House

This is another one that he first heard from his mother, but kept for himself without allowing it to be stained with her memory. It is one of those ones he listened to a great deal during his last year when things with Andrew got hard. He committed himself to not letting him go or breaking off what they had unless Andrew ever directly asked him to. He couldn't find it in himself to ever do that.

This song reminds him of that commitment and helps him stay strong with it, for better or worse. Everyone was convinced from the beginning that either Neil was bad for Andrew (Aaron) or Andrew was bad for Neil (everyone else except Renee and Nicky basically). This reminds him that he knows Andrew better. He knows HIMSELF better. He knows they aren't perfect, but he refuses to let himself fall into their blocked mentality where they choose to be blind to the reality of Andrew's character (or his own for that matter). He knows they are good together. He knows they help one another, they don't hold each other back. And he refuses to give up on them unless Andrew asks him to.

28. How Deep Is Your Love - The Bird and The Bee

This is another final-year-at-Palmetto one. He stumbles across this song while listening to one of Robin's playlists while he was driving her to practice. Listen to the lyrics and hear just how Andreil this song is. It fits so well, and Neil has to pull over and collect himself for a moment when he first hears it. It had been an especially rough week and he'd been struggling trying to balance giving Andrew space and support with communicating his own needs. This gives him the push he needs. He calls him later that night to talk and their time apart starts getting a bit more bearable for it.

29. TALK ME DOWN - Troye Sivan

This was Andrew's song that made him think of Neil. In every way. He found it while they were doing long distance. Neil first heard it on a midnight drive they took while he was visiting Andrew. They didn't say anything, but they didn't need to. Neil eventually asked him why he listens to this one when his taste is usually much louder stuff. He was expecting a stoically-delivered joke denying any potential relation to Neil or a comment about how Nicky got it stuck in his head or something while they were video chatting one weekend. Instead, Andrew just responded "You know why."

Neil stored the song away to listen to later on when they were once again sleeping in separate beds in separate states, knowing Andrew was probably listening to it as well.

38. Talking Bird - Death Cab for Cutie

Neil doesn't know why this song makes him emotional (yes he does). He doesn't know what it is about it that feels like it cuts so deep (it's because Andrew sent it to him). He doesn't get why Andrew showed it to him (it's because Andrew asked him to stay, but would never force him to if he ever did decide to run). He just listens and feels comforted.

44. I'm so Tired - Lauv & Troye Sivan

This is another one Neil found when he and Andrew were doing long distance. It was a bit of a rocky time for them and there were several of those make-or-break moments. You know, the kind any relationship has where you either pull through it together and are stronger for it, or end things where they are and go your separate ways. I imagine - during a particularly rough patch - Neil heard this song from one of his underclassmen roommates. He was thinking about Andrew (when is he not) and part of him wondered if Andrew was better off finding guys in bars to take home and have no connection to. It was a spiteful moment of self-pity that he let himself indulge in before coming to his senses and giving Andrew a call to smooth things over a bit.

He still listens back to the song sometimes. It has a nice, soft, smooth feeling to it. Now when he listens to it, he finds himself focusing more on the singer asking their lover to take them home so they can move forward because they're too tired to fight. He remembers how, when he and Andrew have reached that point, they've continuously chosen to fall back to one another instead of pulling away. It's a very comforting thought for him.

45. NFWMB - Hozier

I don't even know if I have to explain this one.

There are a lot of things that Andrew and Neil see in one another, but I think one major thing is how strong they both are in their own ways. Neither of them are someone you want to fuck with. This song is perfect for that.

And, once again I will say, Neil is a Hozier fan and I'll die on this hill.

50. It Will Come Back - Hozier

Another Hozier song look at that

Anyway this is song encapsulates exactly how Andrew feels about Neil repeatedly choosing Andrew (at least, how he feels about it in the beginning of their relationship). And Neil isn't blind to this at all. What he also isn't blind to (but that he knows Andrew forgets sometimes) is how Neil is also the stray Andrew showed too much kindness. Andrew is as stuck with Neil as Neil is making himself stuck with Andrew.

51. Love Lies - Khalid & Normani

If asked why he likes this song, he'd say it's because Matt showed it to him and it reminds him of Matt and Dan's inspiring relationship. There are very few people he'd admit the truth to.

Something about the song feels too typical and approachable to admit applying to him and Andrew. They don't have a "normal" relationship and there are a lot of norms they don't stick to. Neither of them are ashamed of that in any capacity (as they absolutely shouldn't be), and ultimately it just feels very strange to them both to consider what's between them as being on the same level of what other's have. Not necessarily in a better-worse context, more just an acknowledgment of stark differences.

But I think Neil also experiences a certain level of comfort when he catches himself relating to other "normal" people. So when he finds himself thinking of Andrew when he hears this song, he's not going to ignore that or let it go. He may, however, keep it to himself for a while. It just feels nice to do that.

72. 99 Luftballons - Nena

As a general rule, Neil doesn't like loud music. This one is an exception (though "loud" may be a bit of a stretch here) because he once got to hear Andrew singing along to it in the car late at night.

Andrew does that sometimes, sings along to songs when it's just him and Neil. It's never with a great deal of gusto or volume, more so just a soft mumble on a late night drive to ground them both. This song came on on a particularly rough night, but by the end of it Andrew was singing along louder than he ever did. Still not saying much, but it was a noticeable change to Neil.

Neil knows he was allowed to see something special that night - Andrew allowing himself to let out something he was feeling. Neil got to see Andrew in what amounts to a moment of vulnerability for him. It means the world to him.

74. Gooey - Glass Animals

This song makes Neil feel the way Andrew makes him feel. There's no other way to describe it. When it's just the two of them and they have moments of quiet intimacy, there's a specific feeling Neil starts getting - float-y but secure. Like he'd drift away if it weren't for an invisible string Andrew was holding.

If Andrew caught Neil humming this song one night as he fell asleep, unaware, he kept quiet about it.

75. Turn - The Wombats

This song Neil keeps because it's one Andrew specifically sent him. He didn't give an explanation, just "for your playlist, rabbit".

#aftg #my writing #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil

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foxeshaveclaws · 5 years ago

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When I know the time is right for me--An AFTG Headcanon

This is for @thebashfulpoet for the @aftgexchange! I wanted to make this a full fic but with life I knew I couldnt do it justice, so have a 1.4k long headcanon soulmate AU! I really hope you enjoy it! <3 (also, i deffo stole the title from “I Have A Dream” by ABBA which is REALLY funny once u read it, trust me)

Imagine a soulmate AU where you share dreams as long as you are both asleep and dreaming at the same time

The first time Andrew and Neil meet it's when they are little kids,around 6 or 7. Neil is sitting on a swing set in a park and Andrew just shows up and is like “what are you doing?” and Neil just goes “swingin” and Andrew gets so upset at this weird auburn haired boy that he wakes himself up out of sheer spite.

That's pretty much how it goes over the next few years.

They meet in dreams and have short conversations but both of them kind of refuse to talk about themselves, so they spend a lot of time just sitting in the park swinging together. They don't exchange names even and when they talk, it's only about the small things. If pressed, Andrew might admit that it isn't terrible.

One night, a few years after their first dream meeting, Neil mentions Exy. Andrew had only heard of it once before but the other boy knows a lot about it so Andrew just lets him talk and talk about it until they both wake up. It's……..nice to listen to Neil talk. Andrew doesn't hate it.

That was the last time they met in their dreams for a long time.

Neil stopped dreaming for the most part when he and his mother were on the run. It was too stressful and very rarely did he ever sleep deeply enough to dream. Andrew was getting shuffled between homes and then, once he started living with the Spears, he stopped sleeping all together.

It had been so long that when they saw each other, they didn't even recognize each other. How could you recognize someone when the last time you saw them was when you were a little kid? Besides, Andrew has essentially sworn off soulmates. He doesn't see the point in them, not anymore.

Even after Neil moves to Palmetto, he doesn't dream. He’s too keyed up, too on guard to sleep well and at this point, soulmates and dreams are the last thing on his mind. He doesn't even really think about them at all until Nicky brings it up during practice and mentions the fact that he’s soulmates with Erik and how Dan and Matt are soulmates and wondered if Neil knew anything about his soulmate and Neil just kind of shrugs and says that he hasn't really dreamt since he was a little kid. Yet another instance of Neil breaking the Foxes hearts

A few days later, after their first official game of the season, Neil and Andrew are both so tired and worn out from the game that they dream again. It's the same park and swing set from when they were small . Andrew sees Neil and he once again gets so Angry that he wakes himself up out of spite.

The next day is Kathy’s show and when they get on the bus, Andrew’s eyes bore into Neil’s back but Neil just ignores it until they eventually drift away.

They don't talk about it, not yet.

After Seth’s death, they both stop dreaming again.

It fluctuates like that throughout the rest of the school year, up until winter break. The meds they give Andrew at Easthaven puts him in such a deep sleep that he has no choice but to dream but they morph all of his dreams into nightmares. When Neil finally gets back to Palmetto, he dreams for the first time while sleeping on Wymack’s couch. The dream they share there is…….strange. The park that they meet at is morphed and shifted into something weird and horrible but Neil and Andrew are untouched. And for the first time, Neil and Andrew talk about it. Neil doesn't have his bruises but even in the dream his hair is auburn and his eyes are blue. Andrew asks him why and Neil skirts around explaining exactly why but he does ask if Andrew is safe. Andrew avoids answering that question but they both know that he won't be truly safe for a while longer, until he's back with Neil and the rest of the Foxes.

The next time they dream together is when Andrew gets back from Easthaven. It comes after the iconic pipedream conversation and Andrew tries to point out that Neil is literally a dream to him. Neil steals the cigarette that Andrew is smoking out of his hand and they are both startled by the fact that they can touch in the dreams.

Their rooftop conversations slowly fade into dream conversations. They sit on the swing in the dream and talk as they dream, along with staying up on the rooftop (when do these fuckers actually rest?)

Andrew tells Neil about his fear of heights. That night, in exchange, Neil explains why they are always in a park in their dreams “It was my safe space as a child. No parents to hurt you in public at a park. And I liked swinging.”

From there, things continue as canon says (i rlly like canon compliant AU’s i'm so sorry lol)

Up until---- Neil’s suddenly kidnapped.

He's taken and tortured and it's nasty but when he is drugged and forced to fall asleep, something strange happens. He dreams.

Meanwhile, Andrew freaks out when he cannot find Neil and he eventually tries to strangle Kevin. After Andrew gets calm down and the Foxes begin the trek to various hospitals to find everyone else, Andrew gets in idea.

He goes to sleep in the back of the bus and as he falls asleep, he gets as close to praying as someone like Andrew can. He falls asleep and the miraculous happens. He dreams.

In the dream, Neil doesn't yet have the scars Lola gave him but he still manages to look shitty. Immediately upon seeing him, Andrew asks Neil where he is and Neil answers as truthfully as he can but he knows what's going to happen next. He finally tells Andrew the truth, the full truth. And Neil is as happy as he can be because he gets to tell Andrew goodbye this time. A true and real goodbye and it's heartbreaking. Andrew refuses the goodbye and promises Neil that he’ll see him again.

Neil doesn't believe him but he smiles and they kiss for what feels like the last time. Neil wakes up mid-kiss and Andrew is left holding nothing but air.

Andrew wakes up and runs to explain to Wymack where Neil is. At this point they have picked up all of the other Foxes from the ER and this, THIS is where the Foxes find out that Neil and Andrew are soulmates </3 (oof)

Wymack calls the cops, who in turn tip off the FBI and confirms what the FBI and the Hatfords already kinda knew. But this time, Stuart knows going in that Neil is there and is able to get there sooner. They still have to go through with the plan they do in the book but they got there just a little bit sooner and was able to make it so Neil didn't get detoured straight through the FBI.

They have their reunion in the hospital instead and it's a funny sight, all of these Exy players jammed into a single hospital room, trying desperately to see this little fucker. Andrew pushes himself in first and Andrew tears Neil a new one for trying to really say goodbye to him via dreams and just clutches him tightly. Neil apologizes again for that and promises to never do it again.

The FBI still tries to get Neil to join Witness Protection but they don't have much of a leg to stand on because Neil just tells them that his soulmate will find him. They let him change his name and they take his statement and story, but he gets to leave with the Foxes. He gets to go home with them.

After that, things stick with the rest of TKM. Eventually, when Andrew graduates and goes on to play professionally and then Neil follows and they are forced to go long distance, they find solitude in their dreams and they spend their nights and midday naps together in dreamland.

And even when they are finally able to live together, they still dream together.

#beck screams #aftg exchange #headcanon #soulmate au #Andreil

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nekojitachan · 5 years ago

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AFTG fic - Medicine

This is for @sig66, another owed fic from the @aftgremix fic challenge where she guessed correctly which one was mine. She asked for a Clouds fic, so here you go! I hope you like it.

Hmm, think this is pretty safe here, other than the usual Hatford warnings?

*******

Andrew stood still while Neil fussed with the collar of his shirt. “I don’t know why it won’t – ah, there it is.” He smiled as he smoothed his hands over Andrew’s shoulders then stepped back. “You look great.” There was a slight roughness to his voice, a lingering to his gaze as he looked Andrew up and down, and if Nicky and Erik weren’t out in the living room….

Telling his damn hormones to calm down, Andrew clicked his tongue as he reached for his black gown with the fancy sleeves and purple hood, while Neil grabbed the black cap; he wouldn’t put it on until he had to, and wore black slacks with a black dress shirt for his graduation ceremony. Neil was dressed up for once, too, in dark grey slacks with a silvery-grey dress shirt (which Andrew had picked out). They left the small bedroom made even smaller with all the boxes, to enter the living room also crammed with boxes.

Right after graduation, they were moving in together, into a larger apartment in the same building. Andrew looked forward to an office where he could study for his Master’s degree, and a decent sized bathroom.

“There you are! Excited to graduate?” Nicky asked as he jumped to his feet with a big grin on his face; he’d gone back to the US for Aaron’s graduation two months ago, and shouldn’t be so excited to sit through another boring ceremony that summer.

“What, where I sit on my ass listening to a bunch of old people talk way too much until they call my name?” Andrew huffed as he tugged on the cuffs of his shirt. “Only going because Bren promised me decent drinks afterward.”

“But it’s a major life milestone!” Nicky insisted while gazing at Neil. “Aren’t you looking forward to graduating next year?”

Neil shrugged as he leaned down to pet Pita, who rubbed against his shins. “They don’t really do anything for those of us who take classes online. I’ll probably just keep taking classes until I get bored, anyway.”

“But… but… I’d be happy if I were you,” Nicky sniffed, which made Erik give him a big one-armed hug. “It’s a big deal.”

It was just a piece of paper, in Andrew’s opinion. What mattered to him was what happened afterward – the fellowship he’d received which allowed him to continue studying at the university, and the new lease which had both his and Neil’s name on it.

He had a future in front of him, one he’d earned on his own and one where an impossible pipedream wanted to wake up next to him each morning.

“Fine, you go in my place,” Andrew offered as he held out his gown to his cousin. At first Nicky gaped at him and then laughed.

“I’m tempted just to see the looks on their faces,” he hiccupped as he wiped at his left eye. “That’s okay, I’ll be busy keeping your sweetie company.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes at the moron for the ‘sweetie’ comment, but that was mild for Nicky and he couldn’t exactly argue that nothing was between him and Neil when several of the boxes around them bore his name.

“Uhm, we need to leave,” Neil said in a rush as he motioned to the door. “If we want to be on time.”

“Yes, I imagine there’ll be some traffic,” Erik agreed, a proud smile on his face as he held out his arm for Nicky to take; both men were dressed in suits as if attending a formal affair.

They finally left the apartment and went down to the car which Erik and Nicky had rented for their visit. On the way to campus, Andrew’s phone pinged with a text from Aaron – a short message to congratulate him and remind him to call when everything calmed down.

Andrew hadn’t been able to attend his twin’s ceremony since he was busy with classes at the time, but he’d gone back over Easter break to tie up some loose ends (sell the GS, box up whatever he wanted to keep to either bring back with him or mail to the UK, and get rid of the rest) and have it out with Aaron one last time. To his surprise, it had gone better than he’d expected; he doubted that his brother had ever thought he’d just ‘walk away’, would leave Aaron and the States for good, so they managed a sort of ‘détente’.

Distance seemed to work well for them.

Campus was a mess with all of the visitors there to see their family and friends graduating, even if they had split up the classes as much as possible. After they’d parked and gotten to where the ceremony was held, Andrew (barely) allowed Nicky to give him a quick hug and Neil a longer one before he went off to join his fellow graduates, including Prasad. He exchanged a fist-bump with his now former roommate, who updated him on his job search (a couple of promising leads) and once again congratulated him on the fellowship before they split up to go to their seats.

After that, it was as boring as he’d expected, save for Neil sending him texts during the droning speeches; asking him if he was certain that he was related to Nicky (had there ever been a blood test? Neil knew people who could do genetic testing on the sly if Andrew wanted it done, just saying), future menu items at the café (now that was just mean), possible vacation spots for them, and yes/no on accessories for the new ‘flat’ (no on the cat-themed pillows, yes on the new duvet). When it was Andrew’s time to go up for his diploma, he was hard-pressed not to flash the middle finger at the crowd with the way that Nicky and Erik acted like immature morons, yelling out his name and clapping so loud.

When it was all said and done, he was grateful to make his way back to where Neil waited for him; he had to endure a congratulatory pat or two on the shoulder from a couple of professors along the way. As soon as Neil spotted him, he smiled at Andrew and leaned in for a quick kiss once close enough, which somehow made the whole ridiculous ceremony worthwhile.

“Let’s go,” Andrew insisted when they broke apart, and ignored Nicky’s protests about him posing for pictures.

The man really should know better by then.

They waded through the crowd and managed to get back on the road after a short (not short enough) wait, then drove to the Bolthole, which was closed for a ‘private’ party. Andrew would be honored by the event, if he didn’t know how little money the café made on a regular basis and how much some of its ‘regulars’ enjoyed drinking.

Along the way, Nicky babbled on about Andrew and Neil visiting Germany before their classes resumed, maybe the four of them meeting up in Berlin like they’d talked about around New Year’s. It was a possibility, especially after Andrew bought a car so he and Neil could plan out some road-trips.

There were times when it still didn’t seem real, the fact that he’d left the US behind to live in the UK, that he’d be looking for a job here after he graduated with his Master’s, that he’d cosigned a lease and had a student visa (and been told by Bren that it wouldn’t be any problem to get a more permanent one once he graduated).

That he was planning a future with Neil and a spoiled as hell cat.

Okay, he’d never plan on including the spoiled as hell cat. Or the annoying, cloying as fuck family members like Stuart and Will.

Especially Stuart.

That wasn’t even including Ally.

The one thing he’d finally accepted was that Neil was real and wasn’t going away. Not with that signed lease, not with all those boxes waiting to be moved into the new apartment (flat – what the hell was a ‘flat’?), not with all the exchanged texts about what they should buy for their new home (home, what a concept), not with the casual mentions of how they’d get a townhouse (‘terraced house’) when they graduated and figured out where they wanted to live (where they got jobs – probably London but maybe Glasgow or Edinburgh since Andrew liked those cities, too).

Neil cared about finding a place to live where Andrew liked, where Andrew wanted to live.

After all those years of tearing himself into pieces for others… Andrew had found an improbable idiot who worried about making sure that Andrew was happy.

(Well, Andrew and a spoiled furball.)

(Andrew could put up with a spoiled furball who was placated by a full dish of food and a soft blanket to sleep upon, as long as he got Neil most of the time.)

Neil had just told Nicky to send him some ideas of where to stay in Berlin when they finally reached the Bolthole (or at least where they had to park), and everyone got out of the car. Neil smiled at Andrew and held out his hand a little in a gesture that meant he’d like to hold hands but it was up to Andrew, which made Andrew click his tongue and entwine their fingers together.

Such an idiot.

They only had to walk half a block to reach the café, and ignored the signs posted on the door about it being closed for a private party; Andrew actually blinked in surprise to find more than Bren and a glowering Stuart inside, but a smiling Jamie, Henry, Ally (okay, he could do without that cousin), Will, Miriam and a few of the family’s bodyguards and errand runners as well.

They made an obvious sign of brandishing crackers in the air before setting them off (Neil still flinched a little at the noise), before closing in to wish Andrew ‘congratulations’. “How does it feel to be an educated man?” Henry asked as he handed Andrew what looked to be a glass of champagne (it better not be anything cheap).

“Hungry. Where’s the cake?” he asked as he rocked up on his toes to look beyond the wall of Hatfords, which made most of the people laugh.

“It’s over there,” Henry remarked as he waved to a table laden with appetizers and what had to be an entire sheet cake despite the fact that there was less than twenty people in the place; like the rest of his family, he was dressed up for the event (why?) in nice clothes (suits and dresses – but then they dressed up to ‘deal’ with people so no big deal). “So, are you happy with the new flat?”

Despite being drawn to the cake (an entire sheet cake, embellished with his name and lots of buttercream roses), Andrew paused to consider the question and the man asking it. Henry might appear like some mild-mannered twenty-something with his friendly smile, pale grey eyes and blond hair, but Andrew had yet to see the young man without at least three weapons on him (knives in his ankle boots and gun holstered in the small of his back), had heard enough stories from Neil and Bren to know that the Hatford’s heir wasn’t one to ignore. Yet Henry strove to put him at ease, to ‘chat him up’ each time they met… after ensuring that he was serious about Neil.

Hadn’t that been a ‘fun’ conversation.

Yet Henry (and Jamie and Miriam) seemed to believe that Andrew was serious (he was) about Neil and so treated him with respect (what a concept), while Stuart and Will were still a bit standoffish (considering what he’d heard about their sister and her relationship with Neil’s father… well, he’d accept ‘standoffish’).

“I can shave in the damn shower without knocking my elbows into the walls, so ‘yes’,” Andrew remarked after a sip of the champagne (it wasn’t the cheap stuff).

“Well, you know Neil,” Henry remarked with a slight smile as he gazed over at his cousin, who was being hugged by Jamie. “He insisted on the smallest flat in the building, so Dad was rather happy on giving him an upgrade this time around.”

Which worked out for Andrew, didn’t it? “For future reference, tell him ‘no’,” he insisted. “At the least, it’s animal cruelty.”

“Not to mention boyfriend cruelty, no?” Henry laughed as he held up his own glass as if in a toast. “Don’t worry, I believe it won’t be a problem anymore.” He gave Andrew a knowing smile as he walked away, only to be replaced by Miriam who offered her own congratulations and wanted to know if he needed anything for the new apartment (she didn’t seem to trust Neil’s ‘we’re fine’ – the woman wasn’t an idiot by any means).

After spending ten minutes or so going over some vital necessities (Andrew had no issues hitting up Neil’s wealthy relatives for stuff when they were eager to provide them) while snacking on the appetizers since he hadn’t eaten in hours (the croquettes were delicious, as were the mini chicken pies and the Welsh rarebits, among others). He figured any guilt Neil felt over the purchases would be assuaged by how happy his aunt was over making them, so it would work out in the end.

Bren and Davis came over with a few pints to ‘toast’ his graduation, and then he was able to escape to find Neil, who was chatting with Stuart and Jamie. “-seriously, we can put you to work in some side businesses once you graduate,” Stuart was telling Neil, whose body was stiff with tension.

“I appreciate that,” Neil said in a flat manner as he stared at his uncle with a bottle of water clutched in his right hand. “But there’s a lot I can do with the degree, maybe I’ll get a Master’s like Andrew and… I don’t know, see what happens after that. Mathematics and language intersect at some point, which opens up a lot of options for me.”

Stuart frowned as he jabbed his right forefinger at his nephew. “I don’t see how-“

“Neil’s right, there’s potential there,” Jamie was quick to jump in while Andrew rubbed his right hand along his boyfriend’s nape. “Something with security and code breaking, if I’m guessing right, which could be valuable to us… or if he wants to strike out on his own.”

“Exactly,” Neil said in a quiet voice as he slumped against Andrew. “Could set up my own business but still help out the family.”

Stuart eyed him for a couple of seconds before he nodded. “You know you’re free to do whatever you want and we’ll support you, but… but yeah, tell me and Will about this some night, okay?” He smiled, the expression blatantly proud, as he reached out to ruffle Neil’s hair. “Obviously you got all the smarts intended for Ally.”

Jamie laughed at the comment while Neil managed a slight grin, and Andrew felt the tension leave his lover’s lean body; no matter how much Neil struggled to stand on his own, his uncles’ opinion mattered to him. “That’s a classic example of damning with faint praise,” Jamie claimed as she gave her cousin a fond look. “You two are coming to London for a week or two, right? Maybe in another month?”

Neil fidgeted with the left of his shirt while he gave a curt nod. “We need to get everything set up in the new flat and then figure out where we’re all going during the summer break, but we planned on stopping there.”

“Still need to get the car first,” Andrew added as he glanced around for Bren, who was over by the impromptu bar talking to Davis and a couple other Hatford ‘employees’. They’d discussed options for an affordable used car (something not too boring with low miles), but the man had been awfully quiet on the matter the last few days.

“Yeah, right.” For some reason, Stuart gave Andrew an indecipherable look while Jamie smiled, and then the topic switched to how Andrew and Neil better not stay at any cheap hostels again on their getaways (it had been one time, when their hotel had ended up overbooked, and while Andrew hadn’t been happy about it, at least they had a room to themselves and the place had been clean). While an indignant Neil argued with his overprotective uncle (good luck – usually Andrew would put his money on his lover, but not that time), he wandered off to fetch a drink.

Bren gave him a pat on the shoulder while the others wished him ‘congrats’ and handed over at least a double of a very nice whiskey; he was toasted first to a successful Master’s and then a ‘happy life’ in the new apartment (flat). He tried a few times to bring up the car, but kept being interrupted by Davis or Quentin before Bren could say more than a couple of words.

Then Bren pointed out that Ally had challenged Nicky to some ridiculous drinking contest, and Andrew had to go put a stop to it before Stuart and Will decided they didn’t want someone related to such a blithering moron anywhere near their precious nephew.

By then, Neil seemed to reach the limit of his uncles’ fussing and all but glued himself to Andrew’s side, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. They sat down at a table to eat (more meat pies, not that Andrew was complaining at all, along with mashed potatoes); Neil nursed a cider while Andrew had a pleasant buzz from the whiskey and looked forward to the cake for dessert. Jamie and Teddy (Wednesday pick-up) sat across from them and talked to Neil about possible places to see in Portugal while Andrew exchanged a few texts with Aaron and did his best to ignore Nicky’s hints about how he needed to make things with Neil ‘permanent’.

Right, he’d just sold most of his belongings (the GS) and moved across the ocean to live full-time with another person (whose family could very easily make him ‘disappear’ if they wanted) and a cat – all on a whim.

Maybe if he asked Stuart very nicely, the man would make Nicky disappear.

(It was a nice daydream.)

At the moment, what annoyed him the most about Aaron was that his twin was thousands of miles away from Nicky. “You need to go spend the summer with Aaron,” he told his cousin.

“Huh? But I just saw him a few weeks ago, that and I can’t take that much time off at once,” Nicky complained as he frowned at the platter of pies before he picked one at random. “Besides, I need to save a week in case, you know.” His left eye did some weird spasm thing, which Andrew took to be a pathetic attempt at winking. “Something important happens with you and Neil.”

“Time to cut him off,” he told Erik, who was already handing a glass of water to his inebriated husband.

Neil leaned against Andrew after he had a sip of his drink. “Can we just go somewhere far away when I graduate? I mean, this isn’t too bad but….” He gave a significant look to the family gathered around them.

Andrew nudged him in the side while pointing to the half-eaten chicken and mushroom pie on his plate before he answered (in German as well). “Not a bad idea.”

His boyfriend smiled and resumed eating while Jamie rattled off all the family events in the second half of the year that they were clearly expected to attend; Andrew inwardly sighed and wondered if he could walk off with whatever bottles of alcohol were left over at the end of the party as Neil’s smile faltered.

He was about to tell Neil to create a distraction while he grabbed the cake and then they ran like hell (well, more Neil than him) when Will stood up and cleared his throat as if preparing to speak. “I want to thank everyone for coming tonight. It’s not a grand occasion, but it’s still an important one.” He nodded to where Andrew sat, a slight smile on his face; Will wasn’t the most jovial of people, but he’d always treated Andrew with respect and politeness even while he made it clear that Andrew wouldn’t live long enough to regret harming his nephew. “Someone we’ve all come to know has reached an important milestone, and so we’re here to recognize that achievement. With that in mind, Stuart and I have a gift for him.” He motioned to Andrew. “If you would, Andrew.”

“If I’m about to be shot, I’ll be very upset,” Andrew murmured to Neil, who’d gone perfectly still during the speech. The look his boyfriend gave him indicated that Neil didn’t appreciate the joke (well, semi-joke), but there was little he could do since Andrew had stood up and went to approach the mob boss (crime lord, whatever).

Stuart stood as well, his expression blank, but Andrew caught the way that Miriam smiled, along with Henry and Davis (who were seated near the men) so assumed that he wasn’t about to bleed in the next few minutes (assumed). Still, he had to force himself to not go for one of his knives and heard Neil mutter in Russian when Will reached into the pocket of his black pants for something, which he held out to Andrew. “A present for you. We heard you might like it.”

“Something better than that used Japanese shite you had Bren looking into,” Stuart muttered; upon seeing the ‘Jaguar’ logo on what was apparently a key fob, Andrew almost remarked what did it matter when the company was now foreign-owned, too… and then he realized that it was a new key fob for an F-type.

Yeah, he supposed it was a bit better than something used that he could afford with the money from selling his GS….

“Are you serious?” he asked as he rubbed his right thumb over the logo; he’d gotten some gift cards (mostly Amazon and one for IKEA from Nicky and Erik) for graduation, while Neil had surprised him with a new laptop. But this? This was….

Andrew didn’t know what to do with this.

He was ready to throw it back at Will when Neil appeared at his side. “You didn’t have to,” he told his uncles with faint reproach.

“We wanted to,” Will explained as he smiled at his nephew. “This way we know that the two of you are driving around all over the place in something reliable.”

While Neil frowned at their usual protectiveness, Andrew clicked his tongue and slid the fob into his pocket, suddenly all right with the extravagant present – it was more of the usual Hatford ‘must coddle Neil’ BS. “It better not be some lame color, like white.”

Stuart’s face grew flushed as he jabbed his forefinger in Andrew’s direction. “Listen, you little shit! You don’t-“

“It’s grey, nothing too flashy,” Will said with a knowing smile as he reached out to tousle Neil’s dark hair. “And the insurance is taken care of, too. Just don’t wreck it.”

“I won’t let Neil behind the wheel,” Andrew promised, only to give his lover a bland look. “What? You think speed limits should be doubled, at a minimum. And you switch lanes at will.” The one time he’d let the idiot drive a rental car was also the last.

“It’s just… what I’m used to is… oh never mind,” Neil grumbled as he rubbed at his eyes. “Cake now?”

Considering how little Neil liked desserts, Andrew knew it was a diversionary tactic yet accepted it, because he wanted the damn cake (and then to go find his new car and drive it home).

(Go home and spend the rest of the night alone with his boyfriend.)

Several other people spoke up in agreement that yes, definitely time for cake, so Miriam and Neil went over to cut the damn thing at last (Neil made sure that Andrew got a huge end piece, and the rest of his own after he choked down a couple of bites). There were more presents, mostly along the way of gift cards (Andrew didn’t complain), though Henry did give him a very nice set of knives and Bren a pair of Doc Martins with skulls on them.

“Just think about it,” Nicky mostly whispered after he sidled up to Andrew after Andrew went back for seconds on the cake. “If they give you a car now, imagine what your wedding present would be.”

The moron made a good point for once. Andrew had a bite of dessert (chocolate layers with the rich buttercream he liked) while he watched Neil make Ally take a piece from a center of the cake – the ends were reserved for Andrew, apparently - and felt a familiar warmth fill his chest.

The moron made a good point, but there was no reason to tell him that, to say that there wasn’t a need to rush things. First, he and Neil had to settle into their new home and then still had to finish their university degrees. Maybe after they graduated and found steady jobs, they’d consider it… or maybe not. After all the changes in the past year or so, the one thing that Andrew had grown certain of was the life he’d found with an improbable pipedream.

Neil looked over at him and smiled, the expression turning into a grimace as he licked a bit of icing off his fingers without thinking.

“I’m just saying,” Nicky continued to harp, “guys like Neil don’t come along every day. Put a ring on it, will you?”

Oh, Andrew knew how rare Neil was, but judging from the smile that returned as Neil walked over to him… for once he believed it would be all right. “Enough,” he warned his cousin before he said something to upset Neil.

“I’m just trying to help you out,” Nicky said with an offended sniff before he returned to Erik’s side, his husband busy chatting with Davis about something.

Probably, but Nicky never knew when to quit. Hopefully he got it all out of his system tonight and wouldn’t bring it up when they visited later in the summer.

Hmm, maybe the Hatfords could do something about that as a future present, Andrew mused as Neil sidled up to him - full of cake and good whiskey, a new car waiting for him, and content to have his boyfriend at his side once more.

*******

So, one more owed fic - I may post the next Ghost in You chapter next week and then I’ll have to see what happens next, fic-wise. Especially since I’ll be out of town the first weekend of December.

#aftg #nekojitachanfics #aftg fic #andrew minyard #andreil #neil josten #the hatfords #nicky hemmick #erik klose #stuart hatford #aftg au #clouds fic #andrew's in deep and not fighting it for once

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lemonboyjosten · 4 years ago

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andreil // long distance

neil and andrew will reach a stage where they are in an established long distance relationship.

in their first professional year, neil surprises andrew by showing up right before midnight on new year's eve after months of commucating through a screen and hearing each others filtered voices via occasional phone calls. those phone calls would vary in duration, some lasting for a few minutes as proof of life and others lasting longer than a normal conversation between them usually would, hours on end in which case they would fall sleep to the ode of each others breaths.

every word they've exchanged was laced with months of yearning, with miles separating them. they are getting better at this but words didn't always come easy with them. however, they've always managed.

andrew hated the neil sized hole in his apartment. he would never admit this out loud to anyone but the rabbit has always been on the forefront of his mind, befuddling his thought process when he's guarding the goal during exy practises. andrew's instincts often nudge him to guard the goal, like he would neil. protect him from danger, keep him safe, that was the deal. neil being miles away doesn't help his situation. at times, frustration and anxiety cripples andrew's performance but he's learnt to cope with the help of bee and his new therapist, but why do that when you can simply take it out on your teammates on the court.

andrew was at the point where he was losing himself to everything and nothing while waiting for the day the redhead would magically appear on his doorstep. he never once thought it would on be last day of this terrifying year. frankly speaking, he can't wait for it to be over.

andrew waits across the door with shock evident in his cool and calm facade. seeing the figure he's been hallucinating these past few weeks standing before him felt surreal. this version of neil didn't look any better than he did but andrew knew how weary he himself looked. neil noticed. of course he would. they were soulmates after all.

forgoing the usual greetings, neil step forward and engulfed andrew into his arms. andrew was dumbfounded but he didn't protest. he wanted this. he needed this. being held like this in close proximity by his pipedream neil lifted the year old weight on his chest. he felt like he could breathe again.

they spent the night reminiscing what they've missed over their time apart, relearning things they may have glossed over about each other all while sharing hard won kisses and mapping out each others bodies.

this, this, andrew thought, is everything.

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fallingin-like · 6 years ago

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aftg fanfic review masterlist

(aka my nanowrimo 2019)

i’m super excited to say here are the fics that i will be reviewing for november so far! feel free to read through these and comment on them with me! thank you so much to everyone who responded to my post and requested fics~

*edit: i removed a fic because i forgot to check the tags/TWs before and when i did look, i didn't feel comfortable with the content. sorry!*

1. atlas by @purearcticfire / @pipedream-truths

a magic au that features shapeshifters and a cursed neil, so immediately you know i’ll like it. this fic has some cool uses of italics, caps, spacing, etc. that creates a stylized story that helps build tone and gives the story a clearer voice. this was such a fun read and it gets very intense. this fic is incomplete.