#elder daughter

[missmisandrytabletalk]

''Daughters are not spiritual retribution for your misogyny.''

Anonymous

[lazykebabvagina]

Recommend me music about being the burned out "gifted" kid or tht can be interpreted that way. Think this is me trying, quarter life crisis by Taylor Bicket or nothing new.

[krystaln78]

For all the imperfect elder daughters

As a human, I have so much empathy for my father but as a daughter, I have so much anger. The anger I bottle up as to not betray my dearest, world-deserving mother is concerning. I think it has the capacity to burn me inside, just that I don’t let it. Because that’s who I always was. The eldest daughter. My role is to suppress my feelings to make everyone’s lives easier.

There is also a stereotype that all older daughters are perfectionists. They are good at everything. Academics, sports, and life in general. And, hey, that stereotype doesn’t come from nowhere. I personally have seen older sisters being the perfectionists, whether in my family or in my friends’ family.

But it’s okay if you’re an elder daughter and not all that. It is okay. Let that sink in. You will have some responsibilities and pressure on you, but it’s normal to be confused sometimes, to get only decent grades or to suck at sports. Nobody is 100%.

[clockworkbee]

she’d answer his every curiosity, big or small. Be his big sister, his teacher, the person he could look up to, until the day when he outgrew her and she looked up to him instead.

—As Good As Dead, by Holly Jackson

[budugu]

The difference in elder and younger daughter mindset!

which I realised just 5 minutes ago...

It started raining suddenly and here's how it went.

Me (the elder daughter) : Oh ! It's raining. There's clothes outside.

Goes and starts removing the clothes that were put for drying.

My sister (the younger daughter) : Oh! It's raining. How nice.

Goes and takes pretty pictures on her phone.

[noon-for-moon]

Being a daughter is forgiving your father.. over and over again

Being a daughter is healing your mother's trauma.. while also healing yours

Being a daughter is carrying the heavy weight dumped onto you by your elders...

[hoodie-cinnamon-girl]

You have no idea how hard it is to be a daughter in a brown family. You'll often find yourself asking questions like "why am I born?" "how do I run away" "when will all this end?"

[soupdeewoop]

can we talk about how i asked my dad when i was five “what do YOU dream of me becoming when im older?” and he said a neurosurgeon

can we talk about how when i was 10 i said i wanted to start a small bisiness to earn my own money because i felt so SO bad asking my dad to buy me stuff for my own happiness

and he said “what about a neurosurgeon?”

can we talk about how when i was 13 i said i wanted study psychology because all my friends weren’t ever in a good headspace and i wanted the next generation not to live like that, even if i helped only a couple of kids?

and he said “what about a neurosurgeon?”

can we talk about how, me now, is so confused about what i want to do with myself, but wants to go back to india and maybe study fashion. why? because it makes myself happy, because i want to live for myself.

and he says “what about a neurosurgeon?”

[srijswings]

I'll turn 21 in two days. Can I believe it? I've not given it much thought. Years have passed by. Or so it feels that I've not given it much thought.

I was born 21 years ago!

That seems like a lot of years ago, two decades and a year. I've grown up from a toddler to a lil kid, from an adolescent to a teenager and now to a legal adult?! ( I'm not sure if I mentioned the stages correctly or not).

Am I happy? Have things changed? Do I like how I've changed? Do I hurt less?

All of it seems like cold ice. Solidified but will melt as soon as it's out at room temperature. I've done a lot to hold this cold temperature. I wouldn't want to let it go. Mostly it's alright. I can be melted and solidified. I've the flexibility but also the rigidity.

What am I most grateful for? Do I've to be though?

I'm okay with the fact that I've survived, it's been tiring but I love my relentless efforts to try to make it.

What do I hope for?

I hope to buy a big fridge that can hold as many ice trays as possible. I don't even drink cold water or ice creams as much. But the thought of having ice cubes feels rich. Like if it all, I require I'll know I'll have them stocked.

I wish to build a home, not just a house. With big windows and spacious rooms, a terrace to watch the sky from, lots of plants. But will I be able to take care of someone else? The plants I mean.

I feel tired. I hope I have someone who takes care of me a lil more than I take care of them. I hope I'm held gently and fed and listened to.

I also want to be alone. Because I don't think I want anyone else to understand my weirdness, my quirks, the stuff that goes in my head or most of all see me howl and cry and speak to my younger self. It's just v pitiful. I want to be the only one to pity myself and then pick her up.

I want to have privileges. I want things easier for me. I want to be less scared. I want to believe in myself more. Maybe smile more genuinely. I want to find people who want the same for me.

Oh yes I want to have home cooked meals everyday. New recipies. New hacks. All made with love. Just love. And maybe few people to share the meals with. Dinner table conversations and hearty laughter. So that I feel full. My heart feels full.

And I want a big steel jug to keep my water cool. I love drinking water or maybe I'm just used to it.

I want a couch in my garden and a swing. The one that rotates . The couch to lay down and soak in the sun. I want peace and quiet but also laughter and some occasional fights. But nothing intense.

I want mediocrity.

[taeonysus8]

cant remember the last time my bones were at ease inside my body

[starshades-grace]

i lay awake at night sometimes wondering if my mother hates me.

the stretch marks on her ankles a constant reminder of the exhaustion, the constant effort, the sadness that persists in a household that was never a home. we talk less now and whenever we do, her sadness is a constant theme. i wonder if she blames me for it. if i snatched her dreams without meaning to. sometimes i'm so desperate to feel her love and sometimes i hate her for it. she supports and resents me with such a grace that i feel guilty for my existence, always taking too much space. i wonder how my mother ever ever loved me.

[chin-chin-chu]

The elder daughter rizz to shut up your parents>>>>>

[uskeintezaarmai]

You can't blame me for my insecurity, anxiety, overthinking and 10+ other issues,

I am an older daughter of a Desi household dammit!

[krystaln78]

I wish the world was kinder to my father so he could’ve been kinder to my mother.

[shrizb]

The elder daughter urge to move to a different city and cut off all connections from family.

[nidaaaaj]

'Elder daughter syndrome' is trying your best to take care of everyone around you and yet being told 'you never do anything'. It is hiding your sadness and anger from your younger siblings so that they don't learn anything negative. It is being a shield, so that no fire can come near them. It is doing everything you can just so you finally hear the words "We are really proud of you, thank you" but realizing that would never happen. 'Elder daughter syndrome' is hearing "you're selfish" when you slightly start to prioritize yourself. It is trying, trying and constantly trying but never being enough, when in reality you could never be more. It is crying behind closed doors, and frantic scribbling in your journal, so you don't pass on the toxicity that surrounds you. It is hiding your hobbies and your favorite book that you don't get judged for you choices. It is bearing on everything, and yet being called impatient. 'Elder daughter syndrome' is trying to love yourself for who you're while constantly reassuring others that you aren't full of yourself.

Yes I made that up. But at least it makes sense.

-Nida J