#please don’t spoil me with leaks i am trying so hard and it keeps happening dawgs

[pigeonsplease]

Current pet theory circa 2.1: Gaiathra Triclops is a variation of Ena the Order.

Have a look at the eyeball in the background and the dusty brown planet in the orb:

Now look at Aventurine’s eyes, which are very specifically called out as unique to his clan, as well as the planet in Sigonia Planar set:

Personal opinion: Aventurine’s “luck” is actually a blessing of Ena the Order under another name. It lines up with a lot of side-lore: The beads, the three part harmony prayers, the emphasis on hands as symbols of Gaiathra as well as the fate of a planet under Ena’s protection always being a period of splendour for the societies ending with total devastation.

Before we hit Penacony, Argentina’s seemingly random interruption introduces the concept of dead and missing aeons and the swarm persistingz. Why?

Penacony is all about the Xipe the Harmony and Qlipoth the Preservation factions (i.e The Family and the IPC), and both those Aeons were involved with Ena. In the Swarm Simulated Universe: Qlipoth struck a pact with Ena to deal with the Swarm before Xipe ganked them. Meanwhile, Ruan Mei was running around reviving the Swarm emanator ~for science~ just a few patches ago. Something, or someone, to do with Ena would very much complete the callbacks to the Swarm.

Aventurine? He acts like he’s YOLOing but he always has strategies and they end neatly in his favour despite the complexity. Imo he’s not so much lucky as he is… putting everything in order.

[astrum99]

@patronsaintofdemons from original post

*runs at u* *snatches u by the arm* *shaking u shaking u* I GOT U. YOU RE NOW A VICTIM OF MY THOGHTS . DO NOT RESIST. 

No joke I woke up yesterday morning at 4am, saw ur tags, and couldn’t get back so sleep for a whole hr bc I got so excited to talk abt whatever funky waves my brain is generating ( I am at peak obsession right now, I am generating enough energy to power a small city))

Sorry if I’m being awfully deranged. I'm not used to being Comprehended and Perceived as an existing entity. Please excuse the part of me that is vibrating so hard I am about to emit light beams from my eyes like some sort of cartoon character. Anyways.

Ultrakill, so far, doesn’t actually have a super complex lore. The story is succinctly simple and tragic. The characters as well. I won't focus on that because my obsession lies in Gabriel. From your tags, it looks like you haven’t gotten deep into the game (yet), so I don’t want to spoil the fun if you ever decide to watch a playthrough of the game, or play the game yourself.

And I can avoid spoilers because, for this post, what I latched onto is not his character arc, but his inherent setting of “an angel”.

“Why are you thinking of an angel”

Well. For starters. I wasn’t thinking about angels at first. I was thinking about his thighs and what he got down there. 

Stay with me. The horniness is fading. The poetry is starting. (shaking you)

Click see below.

No? As if you had a choice.

Jokes on you, I lied. This is less of a poetry and way more of an incomprehensible ramble on why Gabriel is irresistible to me. I hope you enjoy it anyway. <3

Humans are largely made of storytelling and wonder. A desire to strip back layers and layers until a deep, concise answer is found. Then we move on. The study of magic: biochemistry, aerodynamics, fusion physics. We boil the universe down to the barest essentials, then examine some more. We looked inside ourselves: blood, plasma, enzymes. Until we reach the concept of consciousness and suddenly, we are incapable of going further. Attention turned to the sky: planes and rockets; astronomy and “what happened before the Big Bang?” in a child's voice. And we saw that the stars were moving further away from us, faster too, and we thought "we'd have to keep going."

It is at these ends that things become interesting. Never-ending debates of questions that will never be solved because of our inability to go beyond the limits. Reaching the skybox of the universe and unable to do anything more than to speculate what lies further still.

It is no wonder that the thought of an angel captivates man. If it exists, then its nature of being far outside of our observational capability becomes the ultimate lure for artists and scientists alike.

For example, what form would it take? A question of pure speculation, no different than a child's image of aliens. Brainstorming shapes and curvatures and weight in the three-dimensional space, fruitless and fantastical.

An abstract form, perhaps. So abstract that it becomes a type of cosmic horror or a Lovecraftian horror. The burning of eyes, the melting of mind. To lay eyes on it is to condemn yourself to death. Radioactive elephant's foot. We'd try to see it regardless.

A holy being, perhaps. Formed like a man but spills pure light when cut. Would it even cut? What does it mean if the imperfect blade made from the hands of a lowly man had sliced through its skin? Skin? Does it have skin? Like a salamander? Like a leopard? Can a creature’s skin contain the light of god? …Would it leak like a broken puppet? Does it sometimes hate itself like how some of us hate the silhouette of our shadows?

A man, perhaps. Uncertain if it became an angel because the mold of humankind was filled to the brim with divinity, or if it is divine because the pile of carbon assumed the role of an angel. Does it know? Does it wonder? Does it see man in itself, and itself in man? Does it feel lonely to be separated from its lightless siblings that wander the earth freely and sinfully?

And if it is man, as physical as it can be, how close am I to it? …What makes you sacred? Can I see? Can I touch? Can I study your form as millions of humans studied every inch of their world, concrete and abstract? Do you see me as ants? Or family? Would you grieve for me as I have for the songbird?

If I cut you open, will you hold yourself down for me?

Will you forgive me for desecrating you like so?

I think I would be ok with dying by your hand if it is you: let me trade my sight to see you, let me trade my life to touch you. To know you is to cross the limits of the beasts. Sacrilegious.

… And I don’t think you’d allow me to. It’s not in your character. Another angel perhaps, from another story. But I’m thinking of you. And so I can only think, like ancestors before me, and descendants after me. Of the study of magic, of self, of sky.

Of angels.

Truthfully, I’m not a believer in a higher being, never have been, probably never will; but standing on the boundary between life and death and yearning to know the feeling of an angel’s skin under my fingertips are the closest thing to a prayer I have ever experienced. Passion burns; I tend to the fire.

And it’s so regretful that I will never know (because you are an angel) and I will never know (because you are born of fiction) and I am never supposed to know (because to completely understand something or someone is to remove the wonder and hope and passion - like how life without death is timeless and still).

So, this is a love letter of sorts. Because I can’t be the only one craving to know every crease and crevice of this holy being made wearing the same shell as a creature who roams the earth blindly, bumbling, and mad.

------

By the way, please excuse grammar issues. Both my writing in the original post and this one are messy and not thoroughly edited. I just type my brain words out in one setting (partially because uni is in full swing). Sorry if this is on the too-long side of things. I was 700 words into my take on human storytelling before I went: “wait, I’m going way off topic” haha Hope this version is more palatable!

Also just wanna let you know: I just started posting my writing, so your tags were one of the first few that came in and got me really excited! I’m always so happy to read the tags of people who enjoyed my stuff. Thank you!

[4dtk]

have this absolute shameless drabble of sugar daddy gojo that i wrote in between requests. my fingers have never typed so fast im sorry this is literally self-indulgent at this point ARJGJFFJ.

disclaimer i honestly can't see anyone calling gojo daddy but just for this fic..... ill allow it..... and also bc sugar daddy gojo is just always residing in my mind. did you see how he transferred 10 mil to mei mei!!!!! i will never shut the fuck up about that scene. pls spoil me <3

warnings: praise, public sex, sugar daddy/sugar baby relations, breeding kink, pet names

NSFW UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI

sugar daddy!gojo pushes you up against the window of the store, visible for everyone to see you getting fucked senseless. in the gucci store four floors up, it could work both ways. fortunate to be so high up, although people would be getting a treat if they happened to look up.

“you know what you’re doing, baby?” he grunts, hips rocking into your soaked pussy as the staff outside try to ignore the lewd noises coming from behind the curtains.

it was supposed to be a simple trip: get a dress for gojo’s event in a few weeks and get out. with a tight arm wrapped around his, you followed him around like a starstruck puppy, the edges of your lips curled up knowing he’d treat you a million times over if you just asked for it.

gojo wasn’t any different, either. sure, he’s had sugar babies in the past, but not quite like you who’s so easy to please and spoil, knowing you could never say no even if your life depended on it. with your desperate listing for the requirement of monetary assistance, gojo couldn’t resist taking up the offer.

he just hadn’t expected you to be so… pliant. you had taken it like a good little bitch, too, moaning out for everyone to hear because you liked it like that.

“you’re taking my cock so well, princess,” gojo muttered out, lips nibbling on your ear as he continued to pound you. his grin that you feel against your skin plagues your mind, wanting nothing more than to see how he enjoys ruining you.

the catchy, upbeat pop song playing above you seemed to provide some rhythm, the sultry lyrics fuelling you further.

"so needy that i had to buy out the whole store for an hour, huh?" the male slows his pace, delivering deep thrusts into your cunt with the precision of an expert.

all you can reply are in little pants, sentences incoherent from how deep his cock is in you.

"i don't even think an hour is enough to satisfy my pretty little girl, isn't that right?" gojo picks up the speed again, and you're brought back to the many times he's fucked over his counter, washing machine. to the times where he's eaten you out on his office table and in his sheets of his king-sized.

and now, you've got another memory locked away for nights full of loneliness and soaked underwear when gojo's just too busy for you.

a tongue to your nipples and a hand to your clit makes you choke out a moan, writhing against the glass just to feel more of gojo, more of his cock and more of his lips on your neck.

you're struggling to keep yourself up, finding the right time in between muffled moans and whimpers to ask for one more wish.

"daddy... p-please, i wanna see your-"

"what, baby? repeat it for me." goddamn, the man had no problem articulating his words, how much had he fucked you already?

clearly not enough if you're still able to speak.

"w-wanna see your face when you fuck me deep, daddy!"

your wish is taken away when you're already creaming all over gojo as your hot breath creates fog on the glass in a silent scream.

"aw, you're cumming so hard baby~ you didn't even get to see me yet," he coos, enjoying the gush of your juices that coat his dick and your thighs. everything feels sticky and dirty, but you don't hesitate to beg for one more fuck with your eyes.

gojo catches your drift immediately, hips twitching from the idea of pumping you full of his cum. after all, he hasn't come yet.

he grunts at the time with a quick glance to the clock above your head. without wasting any more time, he flips you over, the restraint to cum slowly reaching its limit with your lolling tongue and fucked-out face.

the male doesn't bother to hide the deep groan that rips from his throat when he drags his dick along your folds, strings of both your juices stretching out in a way that hypnotises gojo.

"n-need your cock, daddy! please!" you whine, grinding your hips against the tip to make sure gojo knows of your desperation. that he's the only one to fuck you so good that no one else can satisfy you.

he smiles knowingly before he sinks into you.

gojo knows that he's the only one that can make you feel this way as he picks up the tempo, hitting spots in you that you didn't know was physically possible.

gojo knows that he's the only one you call daddy shamelessly as he writes off his card to help you in your student debts and the sparkly dress you've been eyeing.

he could throw you away the second you're done with university, the second the media's off his ass about his love life but, the sweet, sweet moans spilling from your lips pull him back in every single time, eager to hear it for as long as your bank's empty and his is piled up with money.

"more! satoru, more, fuuuck..." you groan, shying away from the striking blues of his eyes the more he drinks in your current state.

he's barely holding on, not even minding the first name you called him. the short skirt he'd given you flipped up makes him go crazy, your panties moved to the side to receive the dressing room quickie you always wanted.

"you're so de..eep daddy! i need all your c-cum please...!" it's a mix between a whimper and a whine.

"yeah? 'course i am, baby. your pussy is sucking me in all the w-way," gojo's hips stutters at how you squirm in his tight grasp, locking eyes with him as yours fill with want. your pussy is throbbing, stretched out so much that you don't register the thumb playing with your clit.

"s' too much...! s' too much, d-daddy!"

"you're a good girl, aren't you?" the way you nod is pathetic, eyebrows knitted from being stuffed so full.

"pretty little thing- fuuck..." gojo's losing control himself, the way his balls slaps against your cunt resonates around the small space and nothing feels better than being inches deep in you.

you're a babbling mess by then, unable to even scream out as you cream his cock. with head thrown back, you're left frozen for a second as the orgasm washes over you and a violent shudders goes through your thighs.

"daddy has so much, s-shit- cum for you, doll," it isn't long before the other comes undone, a groan escaping his lips before he shoots his load deep into you.

your pussy is stained white from all the cum he's giving you, gasping from how much gojo is leaking into you.

"thank y-you, satoru..." you trembling has affected your voice, too, burying your head into gojo's neck while your body shivers from sensitivity.

"take all of it, baby," gojo whispers, the hand near your middle moves instantly to finger his cum back into you, fixing back your underwear over your pussy.

a cheeky giggle leaves your mouth as you untangle yourself from the embrace, welcoming a kiss from the man as he slowly begins to clean up himself.

"have you chosen a dress yet, sir?"

gojo's smile is mischievous, not missing the way your face flushes at having to face the embarrassed staff outside.

"we'll take everything, thanks," his eyes never leave you as he helps you off the changing room chair, tugging your body flush to his before leaving you with one more hungry kiss.

"you did so well for daddy, doll. i may just have to treat you tonight since you have a day off university tomorrow..."

even if it wasn't in the contract, gojo loved to spoil you, admiring your mettle when it comes to material items. although...

"you know what i mean," it's enchanting, the way his voice travels like silk, "i'll call in sick for work tomorrow, yeah?"

your mind goes to mush at what tonight might entail, losing all train of coherence when his hushed whisper of my baby's so cute reaches your ear.

in a second you're out of there, hand twined with his while you remain giddy with the thought of getting used by gojo until you reach your limit.

[bruhstories]

You Truly are Beautiful when You Cry

Summary: Y/N leaves a party only to find Eren in front of her apartment. Shit happens. Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader, mentioned Eren x Mikasa (modern AU) Warnings: language, mentions of loss of virginity, unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex (male receiving), masochist!Reader, toxic and dominant Eren, sadist!Eren, face slapping, mentions of blood, mention of toxic relationships, dacryphillia — Eren’s nuts, just fiy Word Count: 2.5 k

A/N: I just wanna say, I have absolutely nothing against Mikasa, I like her a lot, but for the purpose of this fic, Y/N hates her. Also, shameless smut y’all. I feel like this needs a part two  — who knows, maybe one day.

You and Eren have been friends since childhood — not inseparable, like he was with Mikasa and Armin, but good friends nonetheless. It came as a shock to you when him and Mikasa started dating, almost feeling disgusted, considering they were practically siblings. You tried your best to be supportive of their relationship, but Eren knew you too well for your own good, and sometimes you had to swallow down the vomit when you saw them together. It was even more shocking when you left Connie's party and found Eren on the stairs leading up to your apartment. He had a blank stare, not a single hint of emotion behind his emerald eyes, his lips pursed and waiting for you. You almost didn't recognise him in the dim light, his bun dishevelled, locks of hair covering his face.

"Jaeger? Is that you?" You asked, keys between your fingers, ready to hit.

"In the flesh, Y/L/N." He replied, his voice empty. You two had a habit of calling each other by your last names ever since you met in kindergarten. You lowered your hand and rushed to him, wondering if something happened tonight.

"Are you okay? You disappeared from the party all of a sudden. Armin was worried sick-"

"We broke up." The words caught you off guard, but in a sick twist of events, you were happy to hear that. In a way, you knew their relationship was doomed from the very beginning, surprised that it even lasted three full years.

"Shit." You chewed your lip in the darkness of the hallway. "Come on, let's go inside, you can tell me everything."

Eren looked at the hand you extended and gripped it tightly, helping himself up. The two of you had an odd friendship, to say the least. Before Mikasa, Eren would tease you, sexual innuendos all over the place, he'd seen you naked countless times, you caught him jacking off once. You both lost your virginities to one another, no strings attached. But you did get attached. You got so attached when him and Mikasa started dating and the rotten feeling ate you from the inside out.

You flipped the switch inside your flat and threw your backpack on a chair, along with your jacket. Eren kicked his boots off and threw himself on the couch with a growl while you pulled out a bottle of vodka from the fridge. He always acted like your apartment was his.

"Food?"

"No."

"Alright. Now tell me, what happened?" You asked, seating beside him and passing him the alcoholic beverage. He took a sip to wet his dry throat and threw his head back.

"We went in a room at Connie's. I wanted to tie her up with that stupid scarf she keeps wearing — my scarf — and she kept saying no." Eren explained before taking a few more sips. You nodded, eager to hear the rest of the story and trying your best to contain your giddiness. "I didn't force her or anything. She started spewing shit about how I changed, how I'm always angry and aggressive, how we don’t make love anymore. How I'm not the pure, innocent boy she fell in love with." He practically mocked the sentence. "And then that was it. Said we aren't compatible anymore and that she wants out of this 'toxic' relationship." Eren gestured quotation marks in the air while you took the bottle and downed some vodka yourself.

"Man, I'm really sorry to hear this." You lied. The sound of his dark laughter sent shivers down your spine, the little hair on your arms and the back of your neck standing up. "Something funny, Jaeger?"

"You're such a terrible liar, Y/N." Eren slightly turned his head to look you in the eye. Your own name rolling down his tongue sounded so natural, so perfect. You tried to speak, but the words stopped in your throat when he moved closer, his figure hovering above your petite frame. "What, you think I didn't know?"

"K-know what?" You finally managed, a short-circuit in your brain.

"That you're so obviously in love with me." Eren flashed you a sneer.

"Am not—" slap

His palm met your cheek, hard enough to flush it crimson, but not hard enough to hurt. Mouth agape, you just couldn't respond. For three long years you waited for this man to come to his senses and realise how much you truly loved him, how much you devoted yourself to him, how much you support him. Not Mikasa, you.

"You don't have to hide anymore, Y/N." Eren kissed your forehead and you were putty in his hands. "I know you’ve loved me since we first fucked. I know how much you yearn for me to fuck you again."

"You're delusional!" You finally told him, despite how correct he was.

"Prove me wrong then. Go on, yell at me, shove me. Do it." But you couldn't do it, could you? Your luscious lips parted open, then they closed. "That's what I thought." He crushed his lips onto yours in a sloppy, wet kiss, your hands tangling in his messy hair, the bun long gone. Eren's calloused hands snaked around your waist and under your shirt and, in a moment of clarity, you stopped him.

"W-wait, you two just broke up! I don't want to be your rebound—"

"Who said anything about that?"

"Are you insane? You loved her!"

"Have I?"

The simple question made you realise that Mikasa bight have been right all along. That something was indeed wrong with Eren. The lack of empathy and emotion, the aggressive behaviour, the manipulation. Yet, it didn't bother you, because he came to you specifically. He could've hooked up with any other girl from the party, but he wanted you.

"Don't spoil the moment, Y/N. I might change my mind."

"No, please!" The words came out of your mouth without a warning, strengthening the fact that you were completely and hopelessly desperate.

"Perfect." Eren purred in your ear. That was all he needed to hear before his shirt was on the floor and his hands on your thighs. You tentatively pulled your skirt up, spreading your legs for him, just for him. "Good slut."

The degrading praise earned him a mewl from you, your hips thrusting into his touch, wanting more. Eren didn't waste any more time, and his fingers rubbed your wet folds through the fabric of your thongs. Your muscles instinctively flexed at the touch, your body burning with need and lust. His other hand trailed off to find your perfectly soft, round breasts. Your own hands roamed through his black hair, fingers tangling in the locks as you merely whispered 'more', unable to speak louder.

"Tell me, have you been whoring around these last years?" Eren demanded, fingers pushing your panties to the side. It slightly bothered you how much he talked during this, but, as always, Jaeger got what he wanted.

"N-no..." You told him, quiet as a mouse, but he wouldn't have any of that. Like a maniac, he ripped the lace lingerie off of you, scratching your thighs in the process. You could feel the burning sensation in the markings he left.

"I told you, Y/N, no fucking lies. I wanna know every single man who's touched you."

"W-why? Why does it m-matter?" You stuttered, your eyes searching his. Why did it matter, though? It wasn't like he cared about who you fucked. Unless... unless he did care. And his relationship with Mikasa was nothing but a mistake on his part.

"Because," Eren oh so slowly caressed your folds with his long fingers, "you're mine. Always have been, always will be." He easily slipped his index finger inside of you. "And I won't fuck you unless you tell me who else you slept with."

"Ah– w-with Jean!"

"And?"

"And R-Reiner!" You whimpered, frantically fucking yourself with his hand. You were a sight for sore eyes, sprawled on the couch and longing for his touch.

"And?" The word accentuated so hard that you thought he was about to kill you on the spot.

"Fuck– P-Porco and Ah-Annie! I swear, that's it!" You promised, your breath hitching, heartbeat raising.

"One more thing, Y/N. Did you think of me while you fucked them?"

"Yes! Always! P-please, Eren, please fuck m-me! I'm begging you!"

The little plea seemed to satisfy Jaeger. Or so you thought, because he grabbed a fistful of your hair and dragged you all the way across the apartment to your bedroom, unbothered and unphased by you screaming how much it hurt. He threw you on the shaggy rug in your room, and as you scrambled to gain your composure, you heard Eren's belt hit the floor.

"You should be an expert in sucking cock by now. Prove me how much you want me." He commanded. His voice was low and dangerous, he didn't have to yell to make you scared shitless. Obediently and afraid, you crawled to the bed on all fours, removed your shirt and palmed his hot, hard member. It was already leaking precum, and so your tongue sensually licked the droplets, the saltiness mixed with the aftertaste of vodka in your mouth sending you in a frenzy. He scared you — no, he terrified you, but you couldn't deny you were enjoying this. Mikasa didn't like it rough? Fuck that, you would let Eren kill you if it pleased him. You swirled your tongue around the tip of his cock and worked your way down his shaft, guttural sounds coming from his throat. His hand found its way to your head, and he forcefully pushed it down, stuffing your mouth and throat with his (too) thick member. Tears from pleasure and pain pooled at your Y/E/C eyes and he held you there for a good ten seconds before releasing you.

"Did I make you cry?" Eren asked, his voice almost concerned.

"Mhm." You sobbed with a nod, and he once again grabbed you by the hair, pulled you up and bent you over the wooden bedframe. So much for concern.

"Good." Jaeger slapped your ass so hard you screeched and dug your fingernails in the wood. "Remember what I told you first time I saw you cry?" He asked before positioning himself at your entrance. You nodded — how could you forget? You were both 13 and you got a bad grade, crying your eyes out and thinking that was the end of the world. Normal people would have tried to comfort you and tell you to stop crying. But not Eren. He told you he's never seen anything more beautiful. That should've been a red flag. That should've been a sign to run. Instead, you kept crying as he told you he wanted to see more. A sadist from the very beginning, and you — nothing but a slave.

Eren's thrust woke you up from the distant memory and you arched your back in response. He stretched your walls and it felt like his cock was made for you.

"You don't happen to have any rope, do you?" He asked so nonchalantly.

"N-no-"

"'S alright, we'll just use my belt." Jaeger pulled out and a sense of emptiness filled you. He belonged inside of you — you knew that for a fact — he was meant to be with you. Eren cracked the belt and whipped it all over your exposed ass, your pain-filled scream bringing joy to his ears. You couldn’t see him, but you could feel his sadistic smile burning like the sun on your nape. Before you knew it, he had your wrists tied behind your back, the thin wooden frame pushing into your skin.

"Much better." He decided as he thrusted back inside. You whimpered, moaned, groaned, all sorts of sounds came out of you as his fingers dug into your flesh. As much as you wanted, you couldn't move, gravity pulling you down. You didn't know what hurt more: the bedframe sinking deeper into your abdomen, his deeper thrusts or the tight belt around your wrists. It was safe to say your knees were wobbly, and you could feel the climax getting closer. God, you were pathetic. He barely fucked you and yet you were done for.

"E-Eren! I'm c-coming!"

"I know." He told you absentmindedly, his hand moving from your hip in-between your thighs. "I want you to be good and cum, alright?"

"Yes! Oh, fuck!! Harder – faster!" You moaned as Eren rubbed your swollen clit. A wave of pleasure took over your entire body, your legs trembling as you came all over his cock. He didn't stop, despite you begging him you couldn't take it anymore, instead he kept fucking your numbing cunt, longing for release. It hurt like a bitch to feel his thrusts, and you really wanted him to pull out, but at the same time, you had to do it — for him.

"Whoever told you that you get to tell me when to stop?" Eren bent over and grabbed you by the neck, bringing you closer to him. The fingers around tour soft neck would definitely leave a mark next day. "I'm your god, Y/N!" He groaned in your ear with one final thrust. You both sighed as he pulled out, cum leaking from your folds. You were extremely thankful to be on the fucking pill. He untied your wrists and gathered his underwear and jeans from the floor.

When you noticed him getting dressed, anxiety seeped into your veins. Wasn't he going to stay over? At least for the night? Take a shower? Anything!

"You're leaving?" You asked him, surprising yourself with the condescending tone of your voice.

"Yes?" Eren retorted, baffled by the audacity of your question.

"B-but, where are you going??" Now you just sounded desperate. “We can stay in silenc—"

"To get back with Mikasa."

Your heart sank to your stomach. To do what? Mikasa? How could he do this to you? Shit, it would've been better if you were his rebound, but this? This hurt worse. Your entire body shivered, and not from your climax. You were trembling with anger, disappointment.

"N-no, you're not!" You ran to the front door, despite the pain in your abdomen caused by the wooden bedframe. "Eren, plase! She'll never love you like I do! Please don't go, I'm begging you!"

"Don't be pathetic, Y/N." He rolled his eyes. That stupid brain in your head made you fall down your knees in front of a fully dressed Eren, tears rolling down your cheeks and trying everything in your power to stall him from leaving. "You truly are beautiful when you cry." He pushed you with his leg and walked past you. You tried to grab his sleeve, his hand, anything, but it was too late.

When the door closed behind him, he didn't know what he'd created. There, on the floor, you swung your body back and forth, knees to your chin, makeup ruined, matted hair. Your fingernails clawed at the wood underneath you until the nail polish chipped and blood seeped at the tip of your fingers. Eren Jaeger broke you into a million pieces, he ripped your heart out of your chest and ate it. But it’s alright, you told yourself between indiscernible words. The only word that you could coherently say over and over again was revenge.

[werenotadulting]

Routine Procedure pt. 2 & 3

(Hello friends. Before we continue, a disclaimer. This story is intended for mature, 18+, kink-friendly audiences. This post contains sexual content.

This story may seem, uh, pretty fucked up. The product that caused Mike's incontinence is purely fictional, but the story can still seem plausible within the realm of reality. Which makes the actions of the characters....well, pretty fucked up. I don't want to spoil the story, but I will leave with this.

Aren't we all, in our own way, a little fucked up?

I'd woken up as we turned onto our street.

"Hey sweetie. We're almost home."

"Huh, wh-...where are we?" I blinked a couple times, my eyes adjusting to the light.

She took my hand in hers. "You're in the car, on the way home from the hospital. There's something I need to-"

Suddenly I was wide awake.

"Oh man, I had the weirdest dream. I was in recovery and all the sudden the doctor is going on about how something went wrong, which is crazy, right? Like it was the easiest of surgeries, so it's not like something could ever go wrong."

Kate just stared straight ahead as she pulled into our driveway.

"Let's talk inside."

────────

"You have to remember to check it every couple of hours, Mike. I can do it for you if want me to."

I glared at her.

"Jesus Kate, don't you think I know that? It's bad enough I have to wear this stupid thing, but you don't have to keep reminding me like I'm some kind of child!"

Was I overreacting? Maybe. Did I have every right to be upset about what I'd woken up to in the hospital? Absolutely. Did Kate deserve me taking my anger out on her?

No. She didn't.

I took a deep breath, counting to ten in my head.

"Okay, listen. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you, I just...I feel like my life just got turned upside down. You're only trying to help and....I'm sorry," I finished lamely.

Kate, noticing my shirt had become tucked into the back of my pull-up, pulled it out.

"I understand, Mike," Kate said, looking at me with sympathy. "You didn't ask for this, plus that whole thing with the clause in the paperwork. There's not much we can do but move on and learn to cope." She stood up, smiling at me. "But on the brightside, no medical bills, plus they're offering to cover the cost of whatever supplies you need. I'm going to be here every step of the way, helping you out however you need it."

Despite her positive outlook, I wasn't swayed. "Oh, sure, great." I laid the sarcasm on thick. "I get to spend the rest of my life peeing myself. The brightside is oh so blinding."

"It was a really long day, babe," Kate said, hushing my attitude and moving behind me as she started to rub my shoulders. "What do you say you take a couple of those sleeping pills, zonk out for the night, and see what kind of fresh perspective tomorrow brings, huh?"

Sleep did sound like the only brief respite I was going to get from this hell.

"If you'd like, I can check you during the night to see if it need changed. That way you can just sleep and not have to worry."

"Umm no, it's fine. I just put it on, so it should last me overnight. You'd probably only wake me up anyway. Thank you though," I said, giving her a small smile. "I'm glad at least one of us is handling this well."

────────

It wasn't until around midnight that Mike finally got comfortable enough to sleep. As Kate looked in on him, she could see that he was still a little restless, tossing and turning as if having a bad dream.

For a brief second she had second thoughts, but quickly shoved them aside. No, she wanted this. Mike needed this. She had waited so long. It was for the best. She looked down on him lovingly.

"Sleep well, my sweet boy. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be just as interesting as today was."

Even when he took sleeping pills, Mike was notoriously a restless sleeper. And she may or may not have poked a couple holes in the pull-up. Mike didn't bother to check, and why should he?

After all, accidents happen.

----------------------

Part 3

Cold.

The first thing that hit me was how cold I was.

That didn't make any sense. I'm in bed, I shouldn't be cold. I grabbed the covers to push them back and immediately realized why I was cold.

The bed, the sheets, the comforter, all of them, were wet.

"Shit."

I saw then why the bed had gotten wet. No. Soaked.

Tossing and turning in my sleep, the pull-up, I presume, had not stayed in place. Meaning the bed had gotten soaked. Meaning I had gotten soaked. Hence...

"Shit."

Kate walked out of the bathroom, her hair wrapped in a towel with a second around her body.

"Hey babe. I had to get up to get cleaned off, because I was covered in...well, yeah. Are you okay?"

I got up and began balling up the sheets and bedspread. "Oh I'm just peachy. I pissed all over myself like a baby last night, so that was fun. I also will continue to piss all over myself no matter what I do, and I'll be stuck doing laundry every day for the rest of my life!"

I threw the bedding on the floor in disgust. Kate took my arm, tenderly, and stopped my tantrum.

"Hey, listen. Strip down, and go take a shower. Take that stupid thing off, get out the loofah, and scrub. I don't want you coming out until you're good and relaxed, you hear me? I'll wash the sheets." As she was saying this, Kate was already moving to take the mattress protector off of the bed.

"No, Kate, stop. You don't have to-"

"Get. In. The. Shower."

"But..."

"NOW!" I can only describe the look she was giving me as domineering. I'd never seen her like this. "Don't make me ask again."

Sheepishly, I began to disrobe.

Kate's voice returned to its normal, caring tone. "Once you're all washed up, meet me in the living room, please. I want to talk to you about something."

────────

Kate was sitting on the couch when I walked out. She pat the cushion next to her, indicating she wanted me to sit down.

"Mike, sweetie. I want you to listen to me without interrupting, okay? And please remember that all I'm saying comes from a place of love and wanting you to be happy," Kate said, her big hazel eyes looking at me imploringly.

"Umm...okay, sure yeah. What's up?" I sat down next to her.

"First, I wanted to reiterate that I understand how frustrated you must be right now. But I don't want to be the target of your outbursts. It's not fair." She paused, looking at me, and I just nodded that I understood.

"Second, I think we both can see that the whole pull-up thing isn't working. I don't want another surprise like last night." Here she stopped again, turning to grab something from behind the couch. She pulled a plastic package out and set it on her lap.

"The hospital gave us these to try if the... if we wanted to try something different," she said, pulling a white rectangle out of the package. It made a rustling sound as she grabbed it.

"Is that a....I am not wearing a diaper!"

"Mike, please, stop. Just listen. You said you wouldn't interrupt." She moved the package back to the floor, keeping the diaper on her lap.

"I'm just asking you to try, for both my sake and yours. Please?"

She didn't continue, so I took that as my cue that I could speak, but I didn't know what to say. I sat in silence, thinking, for what felt like hours.

She had a point. I had slept terribly, which was likely to make me even more irritable. But on the other hand, could I really stand to go through the embarrassment of wearing a diaper? Although I suppose it is preferable to having wet pants. I couldn't imagine the humiliation I would feel if I were to leak all over myself in public.

Finally, I broke the silence.

"I've....I've never had to put on or change a diaper before..." I said finally, hanging my head.

Kate perked up, that smile I loved hinting on her lips.

"I can help with that, babe. Just at first, until you get the hang of it. And if they don't work, we will move on to the next thing, okay?"

"Are you sure d-diapers are the best option?" I had to struggle to get the word out. "How do you know they will help?" I said, unable to take my eyes off of the plastic object on her lap.

"For one, pull-ups are pretty much already diapers. We'd just be changing them even more often."

She picked up the diaper and stood up, pulling me by the hand.

"Second, judging by the fact that I'm going to have to clean that couch cushion, I'd say we need to at least try something."

────────

"Lift up so I can slide this under you."

I obliged, holding my butt up in the air as I lay on the freshly cleaned sheets. I tried to look anywhere but at Kate.

Kate unfolded the diaper, fluffing it slightly. She positioned the diaper under me and I lowered down onto it.

"You know, this doesn't have to be all bad," she said, as she picked up a bottle of baby powder. Why did we even have baby powder? Where did that come from?

"Oh, really? Explain to me what about having my girlfriend change me into a diaper isn't all bad." I continued to stare pointedly at the ceiling.

"For starters," she said, dusting powder on my groin, "there's this." Suddenly, she reached down and began slowly stroking my cock.

"Whuuuuu-oah boy. Um just w-what do you think you're doing?"

"I'm rubbing in the powder, clearly," she said, and I finally looked to see that devilish grin back on her face. "You don't seem to be protesting that...hard," she giggled. "I figured since I'm down here, I might as well make myself useful." Without further preamble, she lowered her mouth and took me inside of it.

"That's..uhhh....o-okay...." I trailed off, lost in a mix of confusion and pleasure. It wasn't long before I was finished, and Kate was sitting back up. She wiped the back of her hand across her mouth and swallowed.

"Wow, you must have enjoyed that, I don't think you've ever cum so quicky."

I was too stunned to speak. My gaze had returned to the ceiling, but I wasn't focused on anything.

Kate started to move again, and I heard that crinkling sound. She pulled the diaper up and taped it snugly in place, securing me into the first of what would soon become my all-too-familiar thick and crinkly underwear.

"So tell me, Mike," she said, patting the front of the diaper as she looked over her handiwork, "was that all bad?"

[captainsdolly]

Steve punishing you (hc)

Alternatively: Steve spanking you and making you swallow his cum (hc)

I was drinking beer out of a coffee cup while writing this, this hoe is a mess today

18+ only!

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: Spanking, face fucking, leg riding, daddy kink, dom Steve, name calling (like once...or twice?)

Requested by @donutloverxo​

Not proof read, sorry for any fuck ups

First of all, Steve doesn’t punish you that often because you’re his sweet little baby girl so he lets you get away with shit more often than not

You just gotta pout, look at him with your big doe eyes and say “I’m sooo sorry daddy” and  he’s a goner

He’s whipped

So basically you’re: spoiled as fuck

So is it your fault that you act out sometimes just because you’re pretty sure you won’t get punished?

No, it’s his fault. Obviously

So here you are, at Stark’s party, flirting with Bucky, touching his arm, laughing at his jokes and all that flirty shit you do when you want free drinks (they’re already free though so like...why?)

You’re playing with your hair, biting your lip and he’s getting more and more confident

He circles his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to whisper something in your ear and you’re like uh oh

But he just tells you that “your Stevie keeps staring at us, doll”

You look over your shoulder and sure enough, he’s standing on the other side of the room, squeezing his beer bottle so tight you feel sorry for it

And his jaw is clenched, oh god

You turn back to Bucky to tell him that you’re gonna go talk to Stevie but before you can open your mouth you feel a strong pair of arms wrap around you

That’s the moment you’re supposed to say “I’m soo sorry daddy” but you shut your mouth as soon as you hear a low, dangerous sounding fucking growl

Bucky backs away because you’re Steve’s territory and like he doesn’t want to get punched for getting handsy with you

“You’re in so much trouble”, he whispers against your neck, and next thing you know you’re being dragged out of the room

He then hauls you over his shoulder and carries you to his bedroom while you’re helplessly kicking your legs and slapping his butt

“Please put me down, Stevie, I promise to be good, I’m so sor-“

“No”, he drops you on his bed as soon as the door closes behind you, “none of that. Not this time”

You look up at him and your eyes get wide because he looks FUCKING PISSED

He’s rolling his sleeve’s up to his elbows, not even looking at you and you’re just sitting there quietly, fumbling with the hem of your dress

“What are you waiting for, dumb pup? Strip”

You both know that’s not a request, that’s a command, but you still try and plead with him

You kneel on the bed, reaching for him and he’s still not looking at you even when he lets you pull him closer by his belt

“I’m sorry Stevie, we were just talking and you know how I get after a couple of drinks”

That’s when he looks at you, grabbing your wrists and pushing you back onto the bed

He may be pissed but you’re still the love of his life so he needs to make sure you’re not too drunk for this shit

“How much did you drink?” he crosses his arms and you’re silent for a second because damn those muscles, is it possible to ride a fucking arm?

“Just one cosmo”

He just chuckles, shaking his head and sits down on the bed, patting his thigh

“Clothes off, baby. You know daddy doesn’t like it when you flirt with other men. I wanted to break his fucking arm when I saw him touching you”, you’re about to argue but then you see THE VEIN

So you get naked as fast as you can but apparently, you’re not fast enough and he straight up drags you over to him and puts you into position over his thick thighs

“Am I not good enough for you baby girl? Do I not spoil you enough?”, he asks thorough gritted teeth as he lands the first strike on your bare ass, “Count, baby”

You cry out and weakly say “one”, it already hurts and he’d just started

Also, what’s that between your legs? Oh, you’re wet? Shocker

“Is my cock not enough for you? You want two super soldier cocks to stretch you? Oh baby, you wouldn’t be able to take that”, he lands five more and you count each of them

Tears are streaming down your cheeks and you’re trying to cover your ass but he grips your wrists with one hand while the oder lands on your ass once again

“You’re more than enough for me, Stevie, Daddy... please, I won’t flirt with him anymore, I promise, I won’t flirt with anyone”, you hope your sniffling is enough to soften him but he’s nowhere near done with you

You can feel his hard cock right beneath your chest and you try to move around to wake the beast but he presses his hand on your back, keeping you still

“Five more, baby. Tell daddy who you belong to”, he growls as he lands two more and you cry out, your pussy is throbbing at this point and you want nothing more than to feel his monster cock inside you

“I’m yours, daddy”

“Tell daddy you love him”

“I love you, and only you, daddy”

You’re squirming and writhing under his hand and he’s not letting you move, you bite into the sheets beneath you

He lands the last three and then stops, moves his hand away and just stays still, his palm still holding you down

You’re sobbing into the sheets and your hips start moving, trying to gain some friction

He shakes his head and spread your legs to make sure you get absolutely nothing, what a mean daddy, am I right?

“Daddy... are we done?” his heart breaks when he hears your small voice but he’s gotta be tough

His hand massaging your red, aching ass before he manhandles you into another position and now you’re kneeling between his legs on the ground

He grips your jaw and makes you look at him, your trembling lip and tears in your eyes are not making it easier for him

“No, sweetheart. You need to know your place. You belong to daddy and what did daddy tell you about flirting with Bucky who, may I add, tries to get in your panties every chance he gets?”

“He knows I’m yours, daddy”, you whisper as he leans back to unbuckle his belt and pull his cock out, it’s rock hard and aching to slide inside your cunt but he can’t do that yet

“Yeah? Well, we need to make sure he remembers that, so here’s what’s going to happen,” he doesn’t let go of your jaw, making sure you look him in the eyes and listen to every word he says

“Daddy is going to fuck your beautiful face and you’re going to get off on daddy’s leg. If you don’t make yourself cum before daddy shoots his load into your throat, you’re not getting daddy’s cock for a week. Are we clear, baby doll?”

“Daddy...”, you whine but he tightens his grip on your jaw and you nod quickly

“Then we’re going to go back upstairs and you’re going to tell Bucky what a slut for daddy you are. You’re going to tell him that this tight little cunt is mine”, he growls out the last word, his hand moves to the back of your neck as he pushes you closer to his cock

(That’s probably not the best time to ask him for a threesome with Bucky...)

You straddle his leg and your cheeks heat up because that’s new

“Awww is my baby embarrassed? Come on, ride daddy’s leg. I thought you were desperate for a cock. Or were you desperate for Bucky’s cock exclusively?”

You open your mouth to respond but he pushes his cock between your parted lips and bucks his hips, his tip already hitting the back of your throat

You gag, your fingers clenching on the material of his jeans and he’s holding your head still, not letting you pull back

“Grind that wet pussy on daddy’s leg or you know what happens,” he reminds you as his hips snap up, making you gag and choke around him

You squeeze your eyes shut, forcing your throat to relax and you start moving against his leg, the rough material of his jeans making you gasp

“Ahh, there it is, feel good, pretty baby?” He asks in a condescending tone of voice and you hollow your cheeks around his cockhead as he lets you breathe for a second before slamming his cock back into your throat

He sets a brutal pace, his leg pressing into your core to make you cum quicker because he doesn’t want you to lose this game

His balls are wet from your spit and are slapping against you with every thrust, you can feel his muscles flex under your palms

Your eyes roll back and you feel like you’re about to faint because you can barely breathe at this point and he keeps fucking

“Don’t pass out on me now, daddy’s getting close”

Your hips speed up and you can feel yourself getting closer as well, your juices are soaking Stevie’s jeans

He lifts his leg off the ground, basically lifting you with it and that’s when your orgasm hits you, because oh fuck he’s so strong

You shake and moan, the vibrations making Steve’s cock twitch

“Oh fuck, my cute little baby is gonna make daddy cum”, he chokes out, yanking your head back by your hair, ”shit, shit. Look at me, fucking look at me when I cum in your mouth, dirty little cum slut”

You can see the tiny droplets of sweat running down his forehead, his neck and face red as he pulls back a bit, only his red pulsing tip stays between your parted lips

He’s jerking himself, his other hand gripping your hair tightly and you force yourself to stay upright, the last waves of your orgasm already fading

You’re a weak, drooly mess and the only thing holding you up is his strong grip

“Yeah, baby, such a pretty little girl. Gonna make you swallow it all,” he growls, his  thick creamy cum shoots right into your mouth and you make sure to swallow it all

But it never ends, he keeps cumming and it’s too much, it’s leaking out of the corner of your mouth so you reach up and push it back into your mouth as he shoots a couple more times until his balls are milked dry

“Suck on the tip,” he breathes out, his muscles visibly relaxing and you do as he says before he pulls out completely

“Open up,” he tips your chin up and you open your mouth obediently, showing him you’d swallowed every last drop of his load, “that’s a good girl. Next time you do shit like that, I’ll put my cock in your ass”

😳

He lifts you off of the floor and sits you on his lap, wiping your cheeks with his thumb as his lips leave small little kisses all over you cheeks

“It’s done, it’s over. I’m so proud of you, my little baby, ‘m so fucking proud, daddy loves you”, he whispers, pecking your lips, once, twice, three times until you start giggling

He smiles softly and gives you a couple minutes to come down from your high

“Did you learn your lesson, pup?”

“Yes, daddy”

“Good. Now, get dressed. There’s something you need to tell Bucky”

[chateautae]

I for duck's sake need help people.....see, I would be very pleased if anyone of you would just help me out....the thing is, I have been in a relationship for like around 3 years and trust me, he is like the most perfect kinda person I have ever met..but now comes the main issue, he has till now, never ever hinted me about doing anything ( the max. we have went is uk till just a little makeout types, ik spoiling my sex life like this sucks but that's why I am going anonymous and I think some of you might have experienced it ig, don't take me wrong, I mean like uk). The good thing is, we both are understanding and extremely working persons (he works as a employee in a business firm and I am a newbie doctor (kinda just started my practice as a doctor)....and even though I am a doctor and that having sex is like a normal thing because we literally studies everything, I still freak out upon thinking about doing it with him....it's not like I am scared or anything but I just want some uk girl tips upon how to actually do it....reading about it is quite, tbh, okay for me, but then doing it is like, a difficult task....i bet you he knows about everything and that's why he hasn't hinted upon anything but like from the past 1 week, he jas been dropping kinda hints ig.....like I won't go into the details, otherwise I would be hella embarrassed, not that I am not right now, I am literally sitting in the washroom typing this ( don't judge me)....while reading about it, it feels so easy to execute everything but then when doing it in real life is like so much like wierd ig....I mean how do I respond to it.....I am nervous and what not.....as 25yo, I sometimes feel wierd that I can't uk do it......can anyone of you just help me please......like some girl tips.....I searched it on Google too, still I don't have the courage.....amd moreover, my friends circle is so wierd amd plus, I am too shy to ask anyone.....ik asking this in such a way and place is way too inappropriate to be even considered normal....it's not like I am not ready for it, it's just I am quite nervous about how to do it.....tbh, he hasn't forced me even once still remained to be sweet and all but internally we noth know, we might wanna step up.....HELP PLZ.....my mom is way too conservative to even have an open conversation about kisses let alone doing it....

Oh hun, you are completely and tOTALLY allowed to come to this blog for any advice and not feel ashamed. This is an 18+ blog and anyone here would be so glad to help you, something like this is totally normal!! I shall leave my words under the cut, though if anyone else would like to help this lovely anon please do not hesitate to drop off a reply or even something in my inbox! I'll answer right away to help anyone wondering the same thing 💓

Alright hun, first and foremost I am so happy your relationship has been so strong! And I'm glad you're with someone who hasn't pushed you or anything into doing anything sexual yet, I'll tell you from experience that can be extremely daunting and uncomfy so I'm super relieved your man has been sweet!!

In terms of real advice, tbh I'm quite the wrong person to go to. I lost my v-card with my first boyfriend when I was 16, literally we were both inexperienced and even the times we did you know, do the deed it was very clumsy and nobody knew what they were doing, and the second person I've been with was a Kiseok situation (if you read maybe I do, yes Kiseok is based on a real person in my life) so fuck that dude. But maybe my own inexperience can also help you out, here are at least some lady tips I can think of:

1. Make sure you're comfortable. I say comfortable instead of ready because I'm quite the believer in if you wait until the moment you're ready, you'll wait your entire life. So my best advice is to make sure you're comfy with the situation and your partner!!

2. Ensure your partner is someone who cares about you. I know everyone's stories are different, and not everyone has sex with someone they've been with for a long time or even love, one night stands are totally okay and I salute you sister. get that dick!!! But even in situations where you're with a stranger, sex is a very intimate thing, and it would make your experience 1000x better if you can at least tell the person cares about you and your body and your wishes during sex. Everyone deserves to be respected during an intimate act like sex and if you feel you're not being respected, whether it's your body, your wishes, your limits, your choices, do not feel obligated to still go through with this person.

3. You have to be wet. Of course not all sexual encounters happen the same way, and every female gets off on different things or turned on by a variety of actions, but essentially you have to be wet for sex. Most men understand this but a lot also don't, basically you gotta get into that juicy foreplay to get wet my girl. Try making out, maybe if you're sitting down swing a leg over his lap and bam you're straddling him. This position is usually optimal because you gain the opportunity to grind against yo man's crotch and my fucking God, does that shit feel hella nice. It's also highkey ego-boosting feeling how much the guy's getting worked up because literally anytime you grind or move over their crotch it immediately spikes to their dick and you can usually feel them against you. If you're standing, try moving to an area that has a wall and keep grabbing at your man's neck, usually men naturally will indicate you to jump and you'll easily be all up against the wall making out, this gets hella fun too cause being carried like that is so 😩

3.2. Okay cool, we're making out, now it's essentially a game of go with the flow. Men usually take the initiative and begin the escalation of things on their own. Maybe he'll start kissing down your neck, his hands are gonna be somewhere at your waist, maybe inching down to your ass or maybe he's an ass guy and he's already palming at yo cheeks. Regardless, I can confidently say you can sit back and relax, let yourself feel, get into the kissing and grinding and if you love the way he's touching you, make some noise and let him know, don't be afraid to be turned on and goddamn horny, dudes love that shit. You however are also allowed to take the wheel, and guys usually search for the greenlight from girls by sensing their movements and how eager they seem for the go-ahead on anything. If maybe you begin tugging at his clothes, they'll usually think "okay, she's okay with this rn" and so on. This part's sincerely just go with the flow, you don't need to rush and honestly the more foreplay the better for getting your puthy wet. Make sure you're comfy and your partner makes sure you're okay with that they're doing to you.

3.3. Whoop dee doo your man's hands are suddenly going, you know, places. Another case of go with the flow, if you're comfortable with your man wanting to do a lil rubby dubby on your kitty then totally let him, this shit feel's god-like I tell you. Maybe I'm just a sensitive ass whore, who knows but something about feeling a man's hands do what your lady fingers can't just HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. But essentially from here maybe you wanna reciprocate. Get them pesky pants open and feel your man up. Reach inside those boxers and touch that beast he's hiding inside. Make sure to go nice and slow and your hands aren't rough, men's dick are super sensitive and if you go too hard on at least a dry dick it acc hurts them. Men usually leak pre-cum at their tips so try using some of that to slick up your hand.

3.4. That's handjobbing, now if we're getting into oral, very important things to remember. A) retract your teeth, it's hard and it hurts to do it for a long time but teeth will hurt dudes a lot so suck them in and away from their cocks. B) Hollow your cheeks, men like the tightness of a mouth and that's what really gets them going. C) BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE PLEASE DO NOT JUST STOP BREATHING AND TAKE YOUR TIME OKAY BLOWJOBS ARE ACC VERY FUCKING HARD AND FUCK YOU UP especially for someone like me who has a small mouth, yeah that shit sUCKS but nothing is more beautiful than seeing a man fold under your touch. D) Tease yo man a bit, kitten licks and kisses, dragging your tongue over his slit, maybe a pump and then take him out, slick him up with some saliva maybe, anything you feel like doing go ahead girl, that dick is yours for the time being and I promise he'll love it. E) Deep-throating is really when gets guys going cause they only acc feel shit at their tips, so please deep-throat with caution, and take your time if he's a big one, you can acc really hurt yourself especially if you're constantly deep-throating a really big one. F) Go to town girl, get up and bobbing, go down on him like he can't survive without you, go at your own pace and own it. G) Balls usually go neglected and I promise if you even fondle them or grab at them your man will combust.

3.5. Okay so with actual sex, FIRST OF ALL BE SAFE!!!! USE A FUCKING CONDOM, IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE THEN DON'T FUCK BUT IF YOU'RE STILL HORNY THEN PLEASE RECIEVE SOME MONEY FROM YO MAN FOR PLAN B!!! IT'S NOT ENTIRELY FOOLPROOF THOUGH PLEASE REMEMBER THAT RISK. You can totally go on birth control too but this has its complications, there are also monthly shots you can take and other contraceptives.

3.6. Okay it's sexy times, this is just gonna have to be a thing for you. Everyone's different and has different comfort levels, maybe you can take someone that’s bigger while some women can't and that's fine. Just make sure when he does go in, you feel okay with it. It will hurt if you’re dry and not wet, like hurt a lOT but if you do feel loads of pain just let your partner know to go slower, and let yourself get used to the feeling of something inside. You can always say stop if it hurts too much, seriously it's normal and that's what I did with my first boyfriend. Hell I fucking kicked my ex off me LMAO and he was so sorry and we just ended everything there, and had actual sex the next time I visited him. From here on I've really got no lady tips, essentially it's up to you what you like and what you'll do, get it on!!!

General Tips:

4. Be you, and be confident. I know sex can be really daunting especially when you consider men usually tend to be more experienced, and maybe you become afraid you won't measure up or be as good as his previous partners or you’re not good at sex, but baby girl it ain't about that. This dude is going to have sex with you because he wants to have sex with you, and whether that's his dick speaking for him or his heart, it means he will not be thinking about some other  chick he got it on with a year ago, he will be thinking of you and your pretty mouth and what you're doing, focused on touching your body and thinking he loves the way it feels. The more confident you are, the better. You're sexy and pretty and you are desirable babes, let those noises he makes when you touch him drive your confidence, the way he groans a little when you do something, the way he's tugging your body close to yours cause he wants to feel you, it all means he wants you and that's hot, let it boost your lady ego my love. You're allowed to be shy, I totally understand that, and if your partner really cares about you then they'll easily take your hand and guide you through it. Let them know you're a little nervous, and they'll really try to make things more comfy and easier for you because sex is about both parties, not just one.

5. Orgasming is hard, but it's still achievable. Especially in an open, established relationship, really let your man know what turns you on. Let him feel at your cooch while he's penetrating you and I promise that can usually get you orgasming. Other than that, another huge case of doing what you need to do to get yourself off, and always let your partner know. If you’re really searching for an orgasm in a newer relationship or if you’re too shy to say something, then literally just take your man’s hand and place him over your clit and start rubbing with him, he’ll get the hint and start doing it himself. 

6. Communication is key. This is obvious, but even if it's dirty talk, usually it's still a way to communicate and see if you're okay. You can ask to go slower, faster, softer, harder, stop altogether or entirely wreck your goddamn shit. Your partner should listen and if they don't, get the fuck out of there and leave that man, he don't fucking deserve you at all, especially in situations where you ask to stop or to slow down cause maybe something hurts, if he doesn't listen here then no, he don't deserve shit and LEAVE. Don't be afraid to make noise either or say something, dudes usually love hearing you. If you don’t like something please let your partner know, I’m sure they’re wondering if you do and would love to hear you communicating. 

7. Be clean after you're done woo-hoo-ing. Make sure you're tidy and stuff before putting clothes back on, sex can get messy especially if it's your first time you can bleed. Usually if the dude is a sweetheart enough they'll clean you, which is obviously aftercare uwu.

8. Pee after sex, UTI's are not fun. 

9. Your body may also feel weird or go through changes after you have sex for the first time, but that’s normal. Just you body’s response to feeling something foreign inside you. 

10. Ladies, remembering during sex that you have power, IT’S YOUR BODY!!!! Whether it’s because you’re totally domming or because your man is super duper sweet and will not do anything unless you want it, sex is meant to be fun and for both parties’ enjoyment. It��s not a chore nor is it something you HAVE to do to keep your man around or something, let yourself have fun girl, you deserve it. The flow of sex and any activities as such are usually dictated by you and what you want, so remember you don’t have to go through with something if you don’t want to. It shouldn’t matter if a dude really badly wants to get his dick wet, this is your body and you are to decide what happens to it. If a man makes you believe otherwise, FUCK THAT DUDE!!!! HE DON’T DESERVE YOU!!! YOU DESERVE LOVE AND RESPECT AND TO BE CARED FOR AS A HUMAN BEING!!

[thereluctantinquisitor]

Another Year

OKAY so it is @frenchy-and-the-sea’s birthday and I am HERE with a terrible gift that is just... okay, listen. LISTEN. I had feelings and I just wrote them down and if it is wildly out of character please just pretend it is a really weird AU! 

Aaaanyway, Alex and Tahir belong to the wonderful Frenchy and live in her amazing original work, Seven Cities. If you haven’t already, join me in this glorious rabbit hole and come fall in love with all her characters!

Happy Birthday Frenchy <3

                                  ---------------------------------

If someone had told a young Alex that her life would be shaped like a cradle of wood, set adrift over the ocean chasing fairytales, she would have laughed them out of the room and told them not to bother coming back. Hell, sometimes she felt like laughing herself out of the room when she paused long enough to think about what they were doing. Seven cities. Sitting cross-legged by the Ranger’s bow, her head resting against one of the railing posts, those two words alone were enough to stir something deep and quiet in her chest. It was hard, not to long for answers to unasked questions. Particularly when they had been planted in your head by someone else. Some days, that meeting with Jon, and all the things that followed, felt like a dream. A story that had happened to someone else, a long time ago, that she just happened to overhear at a pub in some piss-soaked harbour town. A story full to the brim of adventure and triumph. Fuller still of mess and mistakes.

“Another year, huh?”

Alex huffed, not bothering to pull her eyes from the waves. “Not sure what you mean. Not sure I care to know, either.”

Of course, she knew exactly what he meant. Maybe at another time, in another place, Tahir might have laughed at her almost dramatic sullenness. But not this time. Instead, he just hovered for a while, before finally lowering himself down beside her with a soft grunt. Exhaling, he tipped his head back. Dark circles framed his eyes, same as hers. There had been some long days, of late, and even longer nights. They wore them about as well as could be expected. “You know, after all this time, I thought you’d soften up to people wanting to celebrate your birthday.” His gaze flicked down, and Alex’s averted just as fast. “It’s a good thing, lad. Means you’ve eked out another year in this mad place. And there’s no one alive who can take that from you.”

“If you’re feeling like waxing poetic, Tahir, there are better audiences for it.”

“Ah, well, Adelina is asleep.”

“Try Duchess.”

The pair exchanged a flat look, like siblings poised to push each other’s buttons. Normally, Alex’s glower was a thing of legend, but this time she felt the corners of her lips twitch traitorously and had to break the contest, masking it by casting her attention back out over the water with a huff. Rather than reveling in his victory, Tahir just allowed a faint smile to spread freely across his face. He was a spot of brightness in the inky dark. Somehow, when she needed him to be, he always was.

The silence lingered until she broke it. “I don’t make a fuss or demand a song and dance because I don’t care about it, Tahir.” Alex wasn’t sure why she started speaking. Normally those kinds of words had to be pried from her like a coin from a miser. “So unless you’ve been spending your lonesome evenings knitting a cape from old hemp sacks and sail rope, best to just treat it the same as any other day.”

There was a pause. “Well,” Tahir began slowly, “I’m not sure about the knitting, but if I’d known you wanted a cape made out of old hemp and---”

He broke off with a surprised grunt as the heel of Alex’s boot connected solidly with his thigh, then quickly caught her foot in one large hand. He raised it slightly, as if to say don’t make me confiscate this, then set it back down on the wooden deck at a pointedly safe distance. “In seriousness,” he continued, one eye still watching for any further signs of attack, “have a drink, at least. Even if it’s just with me or Adelina. Celebrate a little.”

Alex arched a brow. “That an order?”

“It’s a suggestion, Alex. From a friend.”

“Yeah, well…” Alex reached up and ran a hand through her hair. Or at least, she tried it, tangled as it was from the salt and wind. “Consider your friendly suggestion noted. I just…” Her arm suddenly felt heavy. Too heavy. She let it fall to her lap like an anchor to the seafloor. “I just don’t feel in a celebrating mood. Not of late. It’s… there’s so much to do, Tahir.”

“Like what?”

“I…” Alex hesitated. There were things to be done. Of course there were things to be done! There was always something to finish, or begin, or re-do because some half-asleep idiot fucked it up the first time. They were all tired. All drained dry. That meant something was leaking – something that needed to be fixed. Something she needed to fix.

Yet, when asked what that thing was, she found herself at a loss.

Tahir shifted his weight, boot scraping over the deck as he bent his knee and propped his elbow on it. “Sometimes, we have bad weeks. All of us, together, on this ship.” He was looking at her, waiting for her to meet his gaze. When she didn’t, he continued anyway. “None of us blame you for it, Alex. We’ll blame the gods, or the weather, or a bad hand at a tarot reader’s tent well before we’d ever blame you. This is just… how things go sometimes. We can’t change it any more than we can change the tide.”

Finally, Alex turned to face him. “So… what? I’m just meant to accept that sometimes everything goes to shit for no reason? Make my peace with it?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because punishing yourself doesn’t make it any easier.”

Alex opened her mouth – to retort? Argue? She wasn’t sure. But once again, she found the will to fight had abandoned her. Or maybe, just maybe, Tahir had a point, and she’d just rather cast herself into the sea than admit it right now. 

Instead, Alex just grunted; a quiet kind of acquiescence, open enough to interpretation that she could stomach it well enough. Tahir, never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, accepted it with wordless grace. They sat in silence for a little while longer, side by side, lulled by the creaking of the ship. Then, there was a rustle of fabric as Tahir reached into his side-pouch and extended a further sign of peace.

A flask.

“What’ve you got in there today?” Alex took the flask and set to unscrewing it with half-numb fingers. The night-chill was starting to rise already. She convinced herself the drink was just to chase it away. Nothing more.

Tahir relaxed back against the rail, stretching his legs out again. “Something you’ll like.”

Frowning, Alex eyed him warily as she slowly raised the flask to her nose. The first inhale was short – a test, of sorts. When she didn’t keel over from a poorly conceived prank by one of the twins, she relaxed and allowed herself a deeper breath. What met her was something rich, lightly spiced, and possessing just enough edge to promise a good, trickling warmth that curled its way to her fingertips. Even without tasting it, she knew one thing for certain: it was good. “When did you even get this?” she asked a little accusingly. Last time they were at port, he’d insisted on staying with the ship while the others enjoyed a well-earned shore leave. 

Apparently not.

As though reading her mind, Tahir quickly raised his hands. “Easy there, Captain. I convinced Davin to take my place for a bit. The Ranger was in good hands.” He hesitated. “Well, reasonably good hands. He was still sober enough to stand.”

It was easier to laugh, somehow, with that flask in her hand. Not just because its contents sent a comforting warmth straight to her stomach, but because it was something she hadn’t known she needed. It was a moment with someone she trusted above anyone else, sitting on the bow of her ship, letting sea and sail carry them towards a distant point of the compass.

Some leaks are small. Barely even noticeable, at first. But god, it feels good when someone takes the time to patch it.

“That good, huh?” Tahir asked eventually, after Alex had helped herself to a third hearty swig. Humming contently, she smirked and held out the flask.

“You tell me.” When Tahir raised his brows, Alex just rolled her eyes. “Listen - given you probably owe Dav a favour now – a thing no man alive would envy – you can at least partake in the spoils.”

Laughing, Tahir shrugged his large shoulders. “Well, when you put it that way, how could I say no?”

There it was again. That smile. The one that reminded Alex that she had her own. And she found it, then, as Tahir took the flask and allowed himself a long, deep swallow. Then another. Then another…

“Hey - don’t go emptying it!” There was a moment of frenzy, Alex grabbing for the flask, Tahir twisting away, keeping her at bay with a frantically extended elbow. Eventually, Alex managed to snatch it back and tipped it up, peering inside as though to measure the precise depth of his betrayal. “You rat bastard.”

But Tahir wasn’t listening. He was too busy laughing, one hand on the rail, hauling himself to his feet (and, more importantly, out of range). Once upright, he swayed slightly, then stretched his back. Cat-like. Content in his flagrant hubris.

 Duchess would be proud.

 ��Come on, then,” he said. “Up you get.”

“What?” Alex was still fuming, trying to fish out the last few boozy drops with her finger. Traitor. “Why the hell should I?”

Tahir just grinned. 

“Because the rest of the bottle is with Adelina, and you’ve kept her waiting long enough.”

[much-obliged-timothy]

Whumptober #16

Midnighter and Apollo - #16 - Hallucinations

I had like no time to write this how I really wanted to, or proofread it, I am so sorry alkdjlsa

*

“Come on, guys, you have to know this is a waste of time,” Midnighter said as he was dragged along.

“Shut it,” one of his captors said, stabbing a knife into his shoulder.

Midnighter winced. “You know, ‘shut it’ was good enough. No need to stab me. Can I speak to your manager?”

He was irritated but unsurprised to be stabbed in the other shoulder. Man, these guys weren’t even the fun kind of banter villains.

He and Apollo had been called out to a job, courtesy of Spyral. The villains were some group Midnighter had never heard of, and appeared to have been expecting them. They’d promptly distracted Apollo and managed to inject Midnighter with something that left him partially paralyzed, whisking him away before Apollo could notice.

They kept injecting him frequently, apparently aware of his quick recovery abilities. Midnighter was more annoyed than anything, though. 

He’d get out of this eventually. His body was already starting to adjust to whatever they kept injecting him with, recovering from it a little faster each time. It was just a matter of patience now, for the moment he could catch them off guard and strike. 

He and Apollo had a dinner reservation tonight. He wasn’t letting some lame villains spoil his evening. 

He waited patiently as they took him to a room and bound his arms and legs securely. It’d be easy enough to slip once he could feel all his limbs again, despite how cautious they were being. He’d been in worse situations.

By now, Apollo was probably tearing about the streets looking for him to yell at him. Midnighter mentally sighed as he imagined the lecture he was going to get over this.

“Ah, the Midnighter,” a woman said, entering the room. A sleek mask covered her face, a symbol on it that Midnighter didn’t recognize.

“New to the villain business? No clue who you are,” Midnighter informed her.

She stepped closer to him, a few lackeys filing in behind her. “Oh, no. Henry told me all about you. I knew him. I always thought you sounded like a fascinating science experiment.”

Midnighter tensed the slightest. “Well, it certainly didn’t end well for him. Sure you want to try your luck?”

“You don’t scare me, Midnighter,” she said, gesturing to her men.

They swarmed him, and Midnighter tried to struggle away. His body was still uncooperative, though, and they managed to stick tubes into him.

His breathing hitched the slightest as he thought of the horrific experiments Henry used to carry out on him. Making him the perfect killer, the perfect weapon. Agony and blood and screams, all of it worth it to Henry and anguish to Midnighter.

He shook himself. He’d get out of this. He had a dinner date to keep. 

The woman knelt before him, reaching out and cupping his cheek in her hand. She pulled his mask off, dropping it into his lap.

“Sweet dreams, Midnighter,” she said. “We’ll talk again when you’re more...cooperative.”

Midnighter opened his mouth to reply, but his tongue suddenly felt too heavy, his vision blurring. He closed his eyes to shake it off, but when he opened them, there was no one there.

Where was he? He looked around the unfamiliar room, and stood up. His limbs weren’t cooperating, and he staggered, catching himself on the wall.

“Midnighter?”

He lifted his head, his thoughts fuzzy. “Apollo?”

Apollo came into the room, relief on his face. “Midnighter. Finally. Are you okay?”

He pressed a hand to his head. “I think so. Just...foggy.”

He looked back to Apollo, and had the stirrings of dread in his gut. Like he’d been here before. Like he’d been in this exact situation.

“M? What’s wrong?” Apollo put a hand to his arm, but he was so numb, he couldn’t even feel the touch.

“I...don’t know. We need to get out of here, Apollo,” he said. He knew that much. Whatever was happening, he had to get Apollo out of here. 

“Come on. You don’t look so good. Let’s get out of here,” Apollo said, leading him towards the door. “I killed most of the guards on my way in, I think. We should still be careful, though. You don’t look up to fighting shape.”

“No, I’m fine,” Midnighter said, despite how detached and disoriented he felt. “Don’t worry about me.”

“I always do, M,” Apollo said quietly. “Let’s hurry. Okay?”

“Sure,” he said, stumbling after Apollo.

Apollo moved slowly, guiding him down hallways he barely even registered. It was quiet in the building, and he thought they might’ve passed dead bodies, but the details flickered away from his mind as soon as he took his eyes away from the sights. 

“Here,” Apollo said, pointing to a door. “The exit is just through this room here.”

That dread stirred again. Midnighter reached a hand out to stop him.

“Wait, Andrew, don’t-”

Too late. Apollo pushed the door open.

They were waiting inside, armed. Before Apollo could react, one of them leapt out from behind the door and drove a blade into his gut.

“Apollo!” Midnighter cried, trying to catch him as he fell. His clumsy hands missed, and Apollo fell to his knees, hands pressed to his badly bleeding wound. No, no, he was going to-

Midnighter would protect him. He had to.

He stepped in front of Apollo, readying himself. He could do this. He’d take them all out, sluggish as he was. Apollo would be fine if he could just get them out of here.

But he couldn’t see their movements.

They came at him, weapons in hand, masks covering their faces. And Midnighter couldn’t read their moves.

Two grabbed him and held him still while the rest rushed Apollo. Midnighter tried to struggle, horror surging through him.

“Stay away from him!” he yelled.

“M, help,” Apollo choked out, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth as they drove another blade into his gut.

“Get the hell off him!” Midnighter snarled, struggling.

For all his strength, for every advantage he had, he could not break free. They stabbed Apollo again, and he cried out, a heart-wrenching noise.

“M!” he yelled, hitting the ground hard, blood pooling beneath him, staining his white costume. “M, help me!” 

“Stop,” Midnighter practically begged, because he knew, he knew he wouldn’t make it in time, he knew he wouldn’t be strong enough.

He’d been here before. He’d seen Apollo die. He knew he wasn’t going to be enough to save him. He knew.

“Please, M, please!” Apollo reached out for him, and Midnighter couldn’t even lift his hand to reach back. There was so much blood. 

Apollo cried out with each wound they inflicted on him, slow and meticulous. And all the while, he begged for Midnighter’s help, desperate eyes finding Midnighter.

Because he trusted Midnighter to save him. And Midnighter was going to fail him.

Just like he had before. 

Just like he always did.

“Midnighter!”

It was Midnighter’s turn to cry out as something was torn from his flesh, his head flaring with a sharp pain. His eyes snapped open, that image of Apollo bloodied and dying overlaying the fuzzy scene before him.

“M, help me!” Apollo’s voice rang in his ears.

“Get off him,” Midnighter said weakly, his voice hoarse. “Get the hell off of him.”

“M, look at me. Look at me.”

Apollo’s voice was there, but he couldn’t focus on it, not over Apollo’s screams. It was a dizzying duality, and he closed his eyes, pressing his hands over his ears. He was going crazy. 

There was a pressure on his back, barely noticeable. He lashed out with struggling limbs, and someone caught his arm.

“Just me,” Apollo’s voice said, at the same time it screamed in pain. Midnighter flinched. “Oh, Christ, M, what did they do to you?”

“Don’t hurt him,” Midnighter managed as that bloodied image flashed before his eyes again.

“Midnighter, it’s me. It’s Andrew,” Apollo said. “I came for you. Spyral is here with me. You’re okay.”

“Apollo,” a familiar voice said. Tiger? Midnighter thought it might be Tiger. “We’ve got her here.”

“What the hell did you do to him?” Apollo snarled.

Midnighter’s vision cleared just enough to see the woman from before, her mask taken from her. She just gave a smug grin, and then his vision flashed back to Apollo dying.

“Do you know what he’s been seeing for the last six hours while you searched for him? He’s been seeing you dying, over and over again. He stands there helplessly while he watches you die. Maybe you caught me, but not before I broke Henry’s favorite toy. He would’ve made a wonderful weapon. A damn shame one of my men talked,” she said.

“Hallucinations,” Tiger said after a moment, his voice much closer. “They were injecting him with this to make him hallucinate. It looks like she’d engineered it so it would mix with his fight computer. She was controlling his hallucinations and mixing them with his memories.”

“Six hours of that.” Warmth engulfed Midnighter’s side. “Son of a bitch. M, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”

“It won’t wear off for a while,” Tiger warned. “We should take him in to observe him until it’s out of his system. This isn’t over.”

Midnighter grasped blindly at the warmth. Apollo. It was Apollo. Hugging him, even as he died before Midnighter’s eyes.

“Dinner,” Midnighter choked out. “We had...reservations…”

Apollo let out a strangled laugh. “We’ll reschedule. Oh, hell. Hell. M. I can’t...I’m here. I’m here, and I’m okay, and you’re going to be okay.”

They were stabbing him again. Midnighter didn’t know what was reality and what was in his head. He gripped Apollo tighter.

“Stop,” he pleaded. “Stop hurting him.”

“Shhh. Sh. I’m here. We’re both okay.” Something pressed against his hair. Apollo. Alive.

Alive beside him. Dying before him. 

It was all too much.

Midnighter let out an anguished scream, pressing his hands to his ears again. The warmth grew as Apollo held him closer, tighter. Muffled words trying to penetrate his ears, but the screams were there, too.

“I’m here til the end,” Apollo said, pulling Midnighter’s arms down. “It’ll be over soon, M. Christ. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, M, I’m here, it’s okay, we’re okay, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t here before. I’m sorry this happened. I’ve got you now. I swear I’ve got you now.”

His words were reassuring in Midnighter’s ears, but his heart tore to pieces as, before him, Apollo gave in to his stab wounds and the brilliant light left his eyes.

Midnighter sucked in a deep breath, and screamed.

[thecleverdame]

The Oath - 11

Parings: Dark!Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader

Story Master List

Summary: After an unsuccessful escape attempt, the reader finds herself taken as a spoil of war. She ends up in the bed of a ruthless Alpha, the son of John Winchester, leader of the kingdom of Gilead. She struggles to conceal her true identity and navigate a society where being an Omega means nothing more than serving at the pleasure of powerful men.

Warnings: non-con, sexual assault, rape, attempted suicide, sexual slavery, branding, torture, ownership, voyeurism, anal play, smut, violence, and murder.

Sam is dark in this story. If any of the warnings are triggers for you, I would suggest skipping this one. Please read and heed all the warnings.

Beta: ilikaicalie

Support my Patreon and get access to exclusive stories.  CLICK HERE

-

“What are you doing?” 

You freeze in place with the  blade to your throat, turning to find Sam staring in simmering anger. After his initial shock, he closes in on you, grabbing the knife and twisting it from your hands. 

“You were going to slit your own throat?” He’s fuming, fury seeping from his pores as his nostrils flare. When you don’t respond, his face sets, jaw locking. “Answer me now!” 

“Yes,” you admit, tears falling as you begin to sob. “Let me, please, give the knife back to me. I beg you. Let me leave this world!”

“What’s wrong with you!” he yells again, stepping back. His hands clench into fists at his sides. For a moment you’re sure he’s going to hit you, but instead, he runs a hand over his face and turns away toward the fire. He’s fighting to regain control of himself. Sam takes a moment, his back rising and falling with the intensity of his breath. Turning back to you he places a hand on each of your shoulders, moving backward, forcing you to sit in the chair as you cry harder, shoulders jerking while you sputter and choke. “Stop crying,” he barks. 

You both know it’s a ridiculous command. You’re in no state of mind to follow orders or control these sorts of emotions. Your hands shake at the thought of the repercussions for further disobedience as you look up at him with wide, wet eyes. “I-I c-can’t.”

With hands on his hips, he waits, watches you heave and cough and then slowly collect yourself. It takes a while but you do find a way to calm down. You wipe your cheeks with the sleeves of your dress.

Sam crosses his arms over his chest,  waiting until you’re staring at the floor, seemingly matched in a silent standoff. 

“Tell me why you had a knife at your throat.”

“I told you. I want to die,” you whisper, unable to look at him. Your voice shakes, tremors of fear shooting from head to toe. “Please don’t be mad at me. I tried to stop crying, I couldn’t-”

“I don’t care about that.” He crouches down, placing a hand on your thigh. You nearly jump out of your skin. “Why do you want to die?”

You sniffle, wringing your hands together in fear and anxiety. “I’m afraid to tell you.”

“You don’t have a choice. Tell me.” Sam’s Alpha leaves no option to remain silent. 

“What sort of life will I have?” Your eyes flutter up, sneaking a glance. “Before all this, my life was nothing special but I was a person. A human being. I was allowed thoughts and emotions and opinions. Here I am nothing more than what’s between my legs.”

“You would rather take your life than be an Omega?” His eyebrows shoot up as if he’s realizing for the first time just how desperate you truly are. “You’d rather end your life than lie in my bed?”

“It is what comes after you that I’m more frightened of,” you admit. 

His head tilts to the side, interest piqued. “What comes after me?”

“Other men, other Alphas. Your brother told me about the plans. When you’re done with me Dean will take his turn and then I’ll become a prize for the Alphas, likely at your father’s discretion. I would rather die than subject myself to that.”

Sam is quiet, sighing deeply and getting up to take a seat in the chair across the table from you. He thinks for a spell, studying his palms before responding. 

“My brother told you these things?”

“Yes. And I know what happens with the other Omegas. What their lives are like. Tilda has soured, I can hardly stand the smell of her, she’s rancid. When we’re mistreated we...rot. I don’t think I would survive it. I wouldn’t want to.” 

“I see.” He pours himself wine, before sitting back to watch the fire. “And what if there was no after me?”

“What do you mean?” you ask. 

“My brother spoke out of turn. I know I’ve made a comment when I wanted to keep you in line, but the truth is I have no plans to give you to anyone else. You’re mine and I intend to keep you.”

Barely able to wrap your mind around this new revelation, you stare at him. Sam Winchester, a sworn enemy of your family, a man who vowed to slaughter every member of your family, wants you for himself. 

“You want me?” you ask again. Perhaps you’re delusional.

“I do,” he explains calmly. “You’re a perfect Omega. Your scent, your body. You obey orders, keep your mouth shut. No one else will have you as long as I'm alive. If you are loyal to me then I will return that loyalty.” 

“Will you claim me?”

“One day,” he nods in confirmation. “I’ll marry when my parents find a suitable match. Once that happens, I’ll claim you. It’s part of the Gilead wedding ceremony. No Beta will be able to do what you can. You’ll take my knot, give me children. It will be the best life of any Omega in Gilead. It might not be your old life of milking cows and making bread that you seem to miss so much, but you’ll have a place. Your rightful place. I’ll let you decide what you want.” He gets up, laying the knife on the table in front of you. “Slit your throat, or take your clothes off and come to bed.” 

And with that, he strips down and readies himself for the night. You listen while he washes himself, the water in the basin sloshing over the sides. You could do it, end it all right here and now. But that would mean giving up on hope, the hope Sam has just offered. Life could be bearable and perhaps someday down the road you might be presented with a chance to escape. To find your way back to freedom. 

And then there’s Sam, as much as you hate to admit it you've grown accustomed to him. His scent, the feel of his hands, the heat of his skin rubbing against yours. While given the option to go back home or stay, you would certainly choose your home. But right now he’s your best option. 

The decision is seemingly already made. 

Pulling your dress off over your head, you walk naked to his bed. Sam is on his side, watching you in curiosity as he pulls back the blankets to allow you to slide in beside him. 

“Let me see your neck.” He props himself up, finger trailing over the thin line left by the blade. It broke the skin but barely. It’s little more than a cat scratch. “You could have done irreparable damage.”

His finger carefully moves over the clammy skin, pressing down gently around the edge of the mark. 

“Does it hurt?”

“No,” you whisper in the fading light. Your body takes over, excitement fluttering fast as his skin brushes over yours.  

“Take care it doesn’t get infected.” 

“I will,” you confirm, gazing up at him. “Thank you for taking care of me.” 

From time to time you forget who he is and where you are. Tonight for instance, you nearly reach up to caress his jaw. It would be such a comfort to be able to give and receive easy touches, gentler affection than he seems capable of.  

“You’re no good to me broken,” he grunts. His fingers splay out, wrapping around your neck but not squeezing. “If I catch you trying to hurt yourself again, you’ll be punished. It will be painful, do you understand?”

“Yes,” you confirm. 

“I’m glad we’re clear.” His eyes dart to your breasts before relinquishing his hold and rolling onto his back. He yanks the blanket away from his cock. He’s hard, standing at attention as he strokes himself. “Come here and sit on my cock.”

You do as you’re told. The night's events have drained you of every last vestige of energy. But it’s important, now more than ever, to ensure he’s happy with you. If taking his knot once a night is the price of your life, it’s one you can pay.

Climbing on top you stroke his cock a few times before guiding the leaking head of his manhood into your cunt. You sink down slowly, letting your body stretch for him. Sam’s eyes flutter, big hands and strong fingers curling into your hips. You try to ride him but he holds you down.

“Stay like this,” he instructs and brings his thumbs to your clit. 

“Alpha,” you breathe, eyes closing as you concentrate on his touch.

For what seems like a lifetime you sit straddling him as he rubs you soft and slow, building pleasure from a quivering foundation into bursting sparks that threaten to take you over the edge. 

He’s quiet, watching and touching, grunting softly at each moan and whimper that falls from your lips. Just when you're getting close to your peak, his hand falls away and you feel him shift, sitting up with you still his lap. 

You open your eyes to find his face unnervingly close, his breath warm on your cheek as he reaches around to hold your backside. 

“My great-grandfather married an Omega, back when it was still acceptable. She died before I was born but he talked about her all the time. He told Dean and I how special she was. That there was no one that could compare to her in any way. I remember him explaining the bond between them, he had to make sure she was satisfied, that they were connected in order for her to flourish. She didn’t belong to him as much as she was an extension of him.”

You look at each other and he carefully lifts you up only a few inches before letting you slide back down his length. You draw in a breath and his hand curls back around your throat. 

“I’ve never met an Omega like you, little bird. Most are nothing more than bitches in heat. But I could see from the moment my brother dragged you into the tent that you were different. I can’t have you souring like old Tilda. If we need to bond to keep you healthy, then that’s what we’ll do.”

He lifts you up and down again. You lean forward, pressing your forehead against his cheek while his cock splits you open. He moves faster and you can barely handle the sensation, gripping his shoulders tightly. 

“Alpha,” you moan. Your eyes flutter, head lolling back as the pleasure builds. At this moment there is no fear or pain or worry, there's only your body and the Alpha who’s making you feel this way. 

“I’ll ever be able to give you the kind of bond you desire. I’m missing that piece of myself. But we can have this...physical closeness. It should be enough.” 

Your body hums with pleasure as you look into his eyes. What sort of man walks around without a soul? Is it possible to have any sort of moral compass when he’s hollow inside? Will this be enough?

You don’t have the answers to any of these questions. 

“Do you like the way this feels?” he asks, scraping his teeth along your throat. 

“Yes,” you hiss long and low. Your clit is throbbing, aching as his hand wedges between your bellies, rubbing up and down over the swollen bud. 

“Open your eyes and look at me.” Snapping to attention, you find him right there, so close you can feel his breath on your mouth. “Now ride me, up and down, nice and slow.”

You lift yourself up slightly and lower back down feeling the drag of his cock. Breasts crushed against his chest as he holds your hips, keeping you close. 

Eyes crinkling around the edge, he breathes in hard through his nose. Two hands slide under your backside again, helping to lift you up and down on his dick. 

“Alpha,” you whine loudly. Ultimate pleasure is coming like a rush, you’re teetering on the edge. This is a wholly new experience, wrapping up in his scent and skin and pleasure. For these moments the outside world fades away and you’re safe in the arms of a man who should do nothing but terrify you. 

You cum the instant his knot pops. It's the coming together of two bodies in perfect timing. You shudder against him, trembling while your cunt is still squeezing around his cock. One hand holds tight to the back of his neck, the other wrapping around his shoulders, not willing to let go of him or the moment. It’s hard to imagine that amidst all this sorrow and desperation you’re able to feel such intense pleasure. 

“Will you hold me for a moment longer?” you ask as your lips brush over his ear. 

Sam doesn’t respond, but he also doesn’t let go. He sits with you in his lap until you’re the one to pull back and away. And when you lay down he curls around you from behind. You fall asleep surrounded by a man’s animal heat and the fragile idea that this space is a safe one. 

[strwbrryeos]

Kill Me Softly (and Quickly) 02 (M)

summary; Ask anyone and they’ll tell you, Jungkook is the best in the business. There’s no one he couldn’t kill. Nothing he couldn’t do. But his latest job? Well, he might’ve gotten more than he bargained for.

genre; royal au, angst, fluff, eventual smut

pairing; assassin!jungkook x prince!jimin

contains; jikook are so whipped, especially jungkook, top!jungkook, bottom!jimin, creampie, overstimulation, dirty talk, praise kink, the usual

“Charming,” Jungkook whines as he crawls into the arms of his waiting prince, “you’re the only reason I’m not ending the world.”

Jimin laughs, his breath tickling Jungkook’s hair as the younger comfortably nuzzles into his chest. “That’s kinda pathetic, but okay.”

“S’not pathetic. You’re good in a world full of bad.”

“And what are you?” Jimin asks, kissing the top of his head.

“Tired.”

“Aren’t you always?”

“Tired of being without you,” he answers truthfully, bringing his head up so he can see Jimin. He tugs him down a little, making it easier to plant a firm kiss on his lips. He stays there for a second or two before breaking off, letting the taste of Jimin linger on his lips.

He slips a hand under the prince’s shirt, causing him to gasp, a small laugh leaving his throat. “Kook!” He exclaims when the younger pinches a nipple.

“Hmm?” He doesn’t answer, preferring to mouth at the open expanse of Jimin’s neck, feeling the way his body trembles under his touch. He rather likes Jimin this way.

“I-I thought you were tired,” Jimin says, stuttering when Jungkook nips his collarbone.

“Suddenly feeling more energetic.”

There’s a slight breeze that flows into the room, causing the balcony doors to creak ever so slightly, and it’s a welcome touch of cool as Jimin’s skin heats up under Jungkook. The younger man straddles the prince, arms coming down at the sides of his head, their gazes locked intensely in the moonlight. Jimin swears he sees the stars in those eyes.

Jungkook swipes a thumb over Jimin’s bottom lip before leaning down to kiss him again, leaving him breathless and flushed. “More,” the prince whispers, urging Jungkook’s hand back under his shirt.

“Greedy,” Jungkook laughs, but nevertheless obliges, lifting Jimin’s shirt over his head. Jimin’s hair is already disheveled, a blush dusting his cheeks that can still be seen in the soft light. Jungkook presses two soft kisses―one on each cheek. He leans back down, licking at Jimin’s neck, causing him to whine, hand shooting up to grab onto Jungkook’s hair.

“Jungkook…”

“I want to take my time,” he whispers against his skin. “You’re so beautiful.” Jimin whines again, smiling as he hides his face in his arm. “None of that,” Jungkook says, forcing the older to look at him. “Beautiful.”

He kisses him again, tongue slipping inside for a few brief moments before he’s inching his way down the bed, letting his lips leave a trail on Jimin’s abdomen. Jimin sighs, eyes shut as he enjoys the sensation, the feeling of lips on his skin. His heart lurches with every touch, and he can’t help but wonder how he got so lucky.

There’s a small noise outside, probably wandering servants doing nightly chores, but it’s enough to get Jimin’s attention, quickly sitting up in fear of being discovered. Jungkook is quick to calm him down, hands soothingly massaging his shoulders as he lays back down. Another kiss, this time of reassurance. “Don’t worry,” he says, and his hands find the hem of Jimin’s pants.

His thumbs dip below, only going so far as to tug half an inch off before stopping at looking at Jimin, head cocked and smile bright. “Is this okay? You can say no.”

Jimin doesn’t answer at first, instead leaning in to cup Jungkook’s face and kiss him, tongue swiping at his mouth to taste him. “It’s okay. I want to.”

“You can always tell me to stop, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Jungkook tugs Jimin’s pants and underwear off in one go, revealing his half-hard cock. He hums, not giving Jimin time to be embarrassed as he kisses its sensitive head. He strokes it a few times, teasing the prince by tonguing at his exposed thighs, and he’s hard and whining within a few minutes.

“Good boy,” Jungkook praises, causing Jimin to blush, pretending that those words didn’t affect him as much as they did. The jump in his cock tells Jungkook everything he needs to know.

The younger strokes Jimin a few more times, thumbing over the slit as pre-cum leaks out, using it as lubrication for an easier glide. Jimin fists the bedsheets, trying to keep calm under the stimulation.

Jimin’s expecting more, but it never comes, just Jungkook taking his time with Jimin’s cock as if he’s never seen one before. And then Jungkook asks, “What do you want me to do?” and Jimin pauses.

“What?”

Jungkook licks over the slit slowly, and Jimin bucks up into his mouth before Jungkook pulls off. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

“I―” He whines, words not coming to him. “Jungkook, please.”

“Please what, Charming?” Jungkook asks, clearly amused.

“S’not funny!” His hands tangle themselves in Jungkook’s hair, trying to bring him back down to his aching cock. “Please!”

“Please what?”

“T-Touch me, Jungkook. Please,” the prince whines.

Jungkook laughs and thumbs over his slit again. “But I am.”

“You know what I mean, asshole.”

“I really don’t.”

“Jungkook,” he huffs, “please. P-Put me in your mouth.” He turns away, afraid to meet Jungkook’s gaze.

“Look at me, Prince Charming,” Jungkook commands, and Jimin does, and he’s glad he does because he watches as Jungkook takes him in one go, giving him little warning at all. Jimin yelps, fisting Jungkook’s brown locks rather than the sheets. He tugs hard, pleasure curling its way through his body, coursing up and down through him as it builds in his abdomen.

“T-Thats― fuck. Good. So good,” he moans, trying to encourage Jungkook before he forgets how to string a sentence together completely. “Really― fuck! Good.”

“Don’t cum yet,” Jungkook says when he takes a breath for air before going back down, bobbing his head on the prince’s length.

Jimin whines, knowing full well that he’s never good at denying himself anything, especially his own pleasure. “I-I can’t,” he says, and Jungkook sucks on him harder.

“You will.”

The younger strokes what he can’t fit in his mouth, as if daring Jimin to cum, just to see what would happen. But Jimin’s nothing if not stubborn, so he bites his lip, willing his orgasm to stay away. Jungkook laps at the head again, alternating between short and long strokes. Jimin keens, and he pulls Jungkook closer with his legs. “M-More,” he says, and Jungkook smiles against him, satisfied with the pretty moans that fall from Jimin’s lips.

The sounds of the blowjob are loud and obscene, and it faintly has Jimin wondering if someone could hear him, if someone could know what he’s up to right now. What if someone came in right now? What if someone saw Jungkook, this stranger to all but Jimin, between his legs? What would they say?

But it comes as an afterthought, something in the back of his mind because everything else is so preoccupied with Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook.

“J-Jungkoo,” he slurs, “gon― mphf, cum, gonna―”

“Not yet,” Jungkook says, and he presses one hand down against Jimin’s base while the other continues to stroke him. Jimin whines, pleasure overtaking him as his body is wracked with a dry orgasm. He thrashes, whimpering Jungkook’s name, but in the end he’s still hard and needy and ready for more.

“Good?”

Jimin can only nod in response, hands reaching out for him. Jungkook smiles, leaning in to kiss him. He plays with his hair, getting off solely on the touch and affection.

“Gonna fuck you now, okay?” Jungkook says against his lips, and Jimin giggles and nods, eager.

Jungkook sits back on his knees, spreading Jimin’s legs out before him. He leans forward, licking at Jimin’s exposed hole briefly, but it’s enough to have Jimin squirming in pleasure.

“Ah! Jungkook!”

“What?” Jungkook laughs. “I haven’t even started yet.”

He slickens a finger up with lube, pressing gently at Jimin’s entrance. “Relax, baby,” he says as he slides in further. Jimin’s hips buck at the feeling, the intrusion foreign yet welcome.

“Good boy. Always so good for me.”

“Jungkook…” Jimin whines, and Jungkook begins moving slowly, his finger working Jimin open agonizingly slow. “M-More.”

“Already? Seriously, I haven’t started.”

“I just… need you…” His cheeks heat up again, embarrassed whines leaving his throat.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ve got you. Be a good boy, okay? Be patient for me. Don’t wanna hurt you.” Jungkook thrusts into him again, deeming it safe before adding a second finger. He scissors the prince open, and though Jungkook loves those sounds, he’s faintly afraid of someone hearing. “Gotta be quiet, Charming, or someone’s gonna hear you.”

Jimin’s glad at least one of them is sane enough to care. He would scream if it meant he would get Jungkook’s cock in him right now.

“Almost there, okay?” Jungkook reassures him as he adds a third finger, his free hand coming to palm at the front of his pants. “You’re doing so good, baby.”

“Please, ‘ngkook, need you now.”

“I know, baby, I know.”

Jungkook leans forward to kiss him again before he pulls his fingers out completely, leaving Jimin whining at the emptiness. He’s only satiated when he watches Jungkook fish is own cock out of his pants, big and hard and ready to ruin him.

“Fuck,” Jimin whispers at the sight of it, his head falling back against the bed.

“Up, baby,” Jungkook says, tapping Jimin’s thighs lightly. “Hands and knees. Will be easier.”

Jimin whimpers but obeys, flipping himself over and burrowing his face into the sheets. One hand on Jimin’s waist, Jungkook lines himself up, tip touching the rim. “You sure this is okay?” he asks, and Jimin only whines in response, trying to back onto Jungkook himself.

“F-Fuck me, Jun― kook.”

“So needy,” Jungkook tsks, though he’s not faring any better. “Spoiled prince. So used to getting what he wants all the time. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, yes, c’mon… please. So needy. Need you now.”

Jungkook places a kiss on Jimin’s spine as he enters, eliciting a high, drawn out whine. Jungkook laughs, the sound both endearing and arousing, and Jimin slumps further onto the bed.

Jungkook is slow, sinking into the prince with patience, waiting for the all clear to move. Jimin breathes heavily, fists bunching up the blankets beneath him as he gets completely lost in Jungkook.

“How do you feel?” Jungkook asks.

“G-Good,” Jimin hiccups, “‘m good.”

“Can I move?”

Jimin doesn’t answer at first, ass clenching around Jungkook, causing him to hiss in pleasure, but then he nods into the bed and says, “Move, please.”

Jungkook moves slowly at first, hands gripping Jimin so tightly that it’s sure to leave bruises. His mind is screaming at him to go faster, to have Jimin take everything he gives him. To claim him.

But he has more self control than that, and he restrains himself, keeping his thrusts long and unhurried, not daring to move until Jimin finally whines at him. “Jungkook,” he whimpers, one arm blindly reaching for him. “Faster.”

And who is Jungkook to say no?

His grip becomes tighter (if possible), a physical sensation that keeps them both grounded in some way. He gives a harsh, experimental thrust, and it’s too fucking good. “Jimin,” he groans, feeling as fucked out as Jimin looks.

“More. More.”

Jungkook picks him up, pulling his back flush against his chest, and holds onto him for dear life as he pounds into him. It’s loud and obscene, certainly drawing attention to the room, but in that moment, neither of them could care. The servants know better to disturb them―probably think that Jimin found himself a toy for the night and nothing more.

“Yes, Jungkook,” Jimin moans, drawing Jungkook back into the present. Back into the moment. Back into Jimin. “You feel so good. Always make me feel―fuck―so good!”

“You feel better, baby,” Jungkook answers, lips leaning down to kiss the sweat off Jimin’s neck. “So good. Mine. All mine.”

Jimin nods best he can in this position. “Yours. All yours. Don’t wanna be anyone else’s.”

“No one can fuck you as good as I can, yeah?” Jungkook says, thrusting a little more harshly to prove his point. “No one can make you feel like this. I’m the only one, yeah?”

“Y-Yeah. Only one. Only one for you. Love how you make me feel.” Jimin pauses, a sharp gasp escaping his lips as Jungkook hits his prostate. “L-Love you!”

Jungkook bends him over, the feeling of skin against skin too much to bear, making him dizzy with pleasure. If he registers what Jimin said he makes no mention of it, teeth baring down on his exposed neck instead, muffling his moans.

“M-Might cum… Jungkook, ‘m gonna cum.”

“I know baby,” Jungkook huffs, driving into Jimin at a cruel pace. “You can cum. You can cum but I’m not gonna stop. Can’t stop.”

And that’s true. The king himself could walk in right now and Jungkook knows damn well that any control or restraint he had is long gone.

“Don’t stop. Want you inside of me. Gonna―ah!”

“You gonna cum for me?” Jungkook reaches one hand around to tug on Jimin’s neglected cock. “Cum all over my hand? All over your bed? Gonna make a mess?”

“Y-Yes!” Jimin gasps, “Fuck! Jungkook I’m―”

Jimin cums on Jungkook’s hand, body trembling with pleasure. If it weren’t for Jungkook, he’d surely be toppling over.

Jungkook holds on, holds on like he’ll die if he doesn’t, burying his nose into Jimin’s back. He’s drowning in Jimin, can think of nothing else but him. It’s a pleasure he knows he’ll never get anywhere else.

Jimin whimpers, tears brimming in his eyes as Jungkook keeps fucking him, but he doesn’t complaining, wanting Jungkook to cum just as bad. “Inside me,” he begs. “Please, wanna feel you in me.”

And Jungkook would never deny him anything.

“Gonna cum… Gonna cum inside you. Be in you. Fuck―fuck.”

“Yes yes yes yes,” Jimin chants, rolling his hips.

Jungkook cums with a groan, stuffed deep inside Jimin. He shudders with every spurt, pumping every drop inside the prince. He pulls out when he has nothing left to give, collapsing alongside his equally spent lover.

For a few minutes, there is nothing in the room save for heavy breathing and the sound of crickets chirping outside. Jungkook is the first to break the silence.

“Did you mean what you said?”

“What did I say?”

Jimin looks at him innocently, face half buried in the blankets, eyes blinking hazily. Jungkook tries his best to remember every detail.

“That you love me.”

Jimin’s face contorts in a cringe, blood rushing to his ears in embarrassment. He turns to plant his face entirely in the sheets beneath him, effectively shielding himself from Jungkook’s gaze. “Yeah,” he mumbles, barely audible through the layers of cotton and silk.

Jungkook laughs, strong arm wrapping around Jimin’s torso and bringing him close. “I love you, too.”

Jimin peaks up, looking at Jungkook with wide eyes. “Really?”

“Really.”

Jimin giggles, eagerly kissing Jungkook with as much strength as he can muster.

“I love you,” he says softly, in awe like he’s hearing the words for the first time. “I love you.”

Jungkook smiles, a type of smile that he never knew existed.

“You’re the only reason I’m not ending the world.”

[maltedroses]

Yandere reader x Chisaki Kai please ♡

warnings , yandere, dub-con,  degrading2.7k words It had all been hell. His emotionless eyes stared outside the cold window as snow fell around him. One would think him losing everything he’d dedicated his life to was the worst thing to ever happen as far. And it was but nothing would have prepared him for this. 

He had no idea how much time had passed, time became a concept unknown to him.

The sudden door rattle took him out a meaningless trance and if possible made him feel colder. 

Her. The woman who made his life into an unimaginable hell. Y/N had found him when he was all hopeless and left for dead, but  Y/N was far from a blessing, a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“Oh dear” she stepped closer to him, making him flinch away “why are you so close to the window?” her hand moved over to his shoulder, he wanted to scream, break down crying anything than just sitting still. And yet nothing would come out, Y/N eyes were deceiving and that she could snap at any moment. Then the unexpected happened. He started to cry, for the first time since he was introduced to this new hell he felt any emotion.

“Chisaki I’m not going to hurt you, sweetie~” lies those were lies, weren’t they? “If you want to look at the snow I’m not going to get mad at you, I just don’t want you to get sick my love.” she wrapped her arms around him before leaving the room to bring him a jacket. His lifeless eyes stared at his reflection, studying his face. Despite looking fairly the same he was off his emotionless eyes had a melancholy undertone. As he studied his face his eyes caught a faint scar on his forehead… Hari, the rest of the Yakuza. Did they make it out? Where they looking for him? He started to panic as his mind raced with thoughts. Surly if they made it out they would have looked for him, right? What if they were captured, or worse? Did he truly have no one now? No, he shouldn’t think like that, they’ll find him eventually, yes that’s it they’re just getting leads. 

Footsteps. Footsteps drew near and sat straight. “Here you go love” she placed the jacket over his shoulders. He didn’t say anything but looked in a different direction where he wouldn’t be facing her directly. “Y/N when you found me…did you see anything else?” he was finally going to get an answer to the burning question , one that laid somewhere in his mind subconsciously all this time. “ what do you mean dear?” kai swallowed the spit that wasn’t there and attempted to speak without cracking his voice “was there anyone else when you found me, my…associates were they there?” he could of sworn her facial expression changed for a brief second. “No it was just you…well you and a few dead drivers but nevermind them.” he looks at her in disbelief that wouldn’t be possible, his associates were skilled (to an extent) and a reason why they worked over him. “That’s impossible! They’re were with me!” He started to cry “I have…I have to look for them!” he started to get up, but you pushed him back into the chair.

 “Kai” in a stern voice and look. “Sit. Down.” He stayed in place but continued to cry “but Y/N I need to look for them They’re my-” 

Smack you’d slapped him. 

“How long will it take you” Smack “to understand that you only have me?” he could feel himself go into an even deeper spiral of despair  “ you have to face the reality kai, you have nothing!” as you broke him down the more he started to realize you were right. He didn’t have anything, his quirk and the drug he dedicated every fiber of his being to were taken right from him if anything he was as good as dead. You stopped slapping him after his crying got to you and stung like a poisoned dagger, calm down you told yourself if you wanted him to learn you would need to take a different approach 

“Kai” you leaned down to where he was but still remained hovering over him “I’m sorry I didn’t mean too…be harsh but I just get so frustrated when you don’t…learn.” taking the time to caress his face gently to calm him down, his body was stiff and he flinched when you touched him. “I don’t want to be cruel with you, but the  world thinks you’re dead and you’ll basically be on the run if anyone found you, and I’m sorry to tell you this but the 8 percipets of death are either dead or under police custody, so in reality you only have me left.” you looked at him and could read the realization on his face, whether he liked it or not was not the question but you were right and that was something that scared him.

“And like I said, I know I’ve been harsh with you but i love you” you leaned closer so now your face was mere inches from his face “so please let me make it up to you” implanting a kiss onto his lips. Despite being used to your ever-changing behavior this had surprised him as you were being more serine with him and was unable to see any ill intention behind your kiss. “So what do ya say?” smiling down at him. He was hesitant for a bit but slightly nodded afterward “I’ll see if you truly mean what you say” you grinned even wider “oh don’t worry ill make sure you won’t regret it~”. Before he could even process your last words you started grinding against the lower half of his body and sending sensations towards his crotch area, smirking as you did. “Tell me kai how does this make you feel?”  He let out a grunt as you kept teasing him, “god damn you woman…your body has a strange way of making me feel differently,” he said with a hint of annoyance and almost forgetting the situation he was in.

You rolled your eyes and decided to let it slide just this once “ that’s not what I asked.” You bucked your hips into his once more feeling the bulge that was growing “so let me ask you again, when I do this” this time as you bucked into his hips you made sure to make the teasing tortuously pressing, and rubbing your crotch against his hard-on, straddling him as his dick was still trapped inside of the fabric prison that were his slacks. “How does it make you feel? Or should I do it ag-” 

“Shut up” he tried sounding annoyed but couldn’t a hard blush overtook his face, feeling the heat his body was realizing. Maybe you should stop teasing him …unless…

“And if I don’t? What are you going to do, spank me?” you laughed throwing jabs at him “oh wait you can't”  you grinned and resumed where you left off, kai arched his back and tried thrusting upwards and failing. 

“Ah ah, impatient are we? You know better than that kai, you’re a big boy use your words” you trailed a finger down his chest and drew circles against his pulsing hard-on already seeing the precum leak through his pants. His body heat easily warms you up despite the ever-growing snow outside 

“Please y/n .. I need you Please stop teasing me! My body is yearning for you” he begged and cried, you wiped the tears off his face. “Well kai I think you’ve earned this” you unzipped his pants and finally released his cock, you weren’t exactly sure how big he was but he has a nice length. His veins pulsing “hmm I wonder if I should even fuck you, just look at yourself. Hehe at even the slightest touch you’ll be a sweet little mess cumming and that’s no fun is if? You wouldn’t do that to a gal, not lasting and cumming from a few touches would you?” Your finger traced the outlines of his veins, his cock twitching from your minimal affection. 

His face twisted into agony “ahh, please y/n! Fuck me! Make me all dirty like the sinful bastard I am!“  

“Kai if you don’t shut up ill just edge you and not let you cum.” you snaked a hand up his chest and simulated his nipples edging him more, he let out a shaky sob before cumming all over his stomach.

“Oh, my” you leaned over and seductively licked the cum off his stomach “mmm you taste really good, it’s a shame you came so early though..” he meekly lowered his face “I’m sorry y/n…I” 

“Hush, I’m not mad at you not in the slightest bit. Now, are you ready for the real stuff?”

“What do you mean ‘the real stuff?” he crooked an eyebrow, “well I don’t want to spoil anything but that was just a warm-up, were just starting the first round~” 

You grabbed his cock and began to jerk him off, he let out lewd mews and bit his lip trying to keep his composure. "Oh, Kai sweetie you’re allowed to moan if you don’t then how will I know what you do and don’t like?‘  You devilishly smirked before taking your shirt off, "the bra stays on for now" 

Kai pouted "I thought you said this was the real stuff, now you’re just teasing me" 

"Yes I know but we’re still on the first round love, but using my hand is getting tedious maybe I should use some else~” you stick out your tongue and began to lick his shaft, kissing and licking the head sucking and leaving little hickeys where his veins where. 

“Oh fuck y/n don’t stop!” “Oh, of course, I won’t dear, since you’ve been behaving so well"  sucking his cock and letting your tongue work wonders, if his forearms weren’t gone he would have grabbed your hair and start face fucking you, ravaging that pretty throat of yours. 

One again you went off to tease his pink rosy buds as your mouth took care of his cock when you started feeling his cock throb you took him out your mouth, a string of saliva only connecting you two. 

Before kai could protest the removal of your mouth from his cock you straight up tore your bra off. “Hehe” you straddled him and made your tits bounce. “You know it’s a shame you can’t hold or touch them, but I have a solution” you lowered yourself again and put his cock between your delicate breasts. Kai was quick to pick up what you were doing and began to thrust upwards, you pressed your boobs together controlling how tight or loose thrusting into them would feel. His thrusts became more intense, hitting your bottom lip. You opened your mouth and began to suck the tip swirling your tongue around the tip. He moaned and began thrusting harder fucking your mouth and tits at the same time. Tears formed in your eyes as he gained some control over the situation you were both in, the mascara started to stain your face. Kai grinned when he saw your face feeling a sensation of control “that’s right be a good little whore” you pouted a little but kept sucking “oh are you crying? My you must’ve been starving for my cock if you’re crying like that.” You nodded as he continued to fuck you like a cheap whore hitting the back of your throat and making you cry more. 

 “Now I could cum in your mouth, and I want to but if I do I’ll be too tired and not fuck that little pussy of yours. I want to break you make you scream so loud your throat gets sore, make it painful to walk the next day” you scowled a little “don’t you dare bite me, I will punish you if you do .you like being treated like this, don’t you? Don’t lie, if you don’t prove me wrong.” he bit his lip and pulled out your mouth then moved a little so his dick would slap your face. Your head instinctively shifted towards the direction of his dick and gave it a nice long lick, he smirked “Hmm looks like I was right, now strip and lay on your back” you nodded and followed his orders unbuttoning your jeans and sliding them off , Kai noticed your panties had a dark spot “wow you really are a cock hungry slut, just look at yourself you’re all wet.”

“Keep talking shit and I might just leave, I might be a cock hungry slut, but we both know you want to get off just as much as I do. I could leave you right her, I have hands and could finish myself off unlike you.” 

He looked at you blankly “on your knees now” 

“Yes sir” you happily obliged to his orders and kneeled in from of him face to face with his cock. He noticed a glint in your eyes “ah, ah that work right now, trying to suck my cock so you get the upper hand, do as I say or I won’t fuck your aching cunt. Now lean back support yourself with your non-dominant hand. Good now touch yourself. Very slowly…”

You eagerly followed his instructions and whined as your fingers brushed over your already over-stimulated clit. Your walls were aching and begging to be filled, slick coating your fingers and struggling to keep your balance as your weaker hand was struggling to keep still and ready to give up at any moment. He smirked at your struggle “faster” you rubbed faster letting lewd moans escape your lips, vision going blurry and eyes hitting the back of your head as the heat in your core got hotter. Any second now and you would surely cum. Deeply desiring your release, but Kai wouldn’t give it to you so easily. 

“Lick yourself clean, show me how bad you want me and maybe then, if I think you deserve it ill give it to you.”

“Yes Daddy” you swirl your tongue between your fingers licking your slick while looking him in the eye, his cock twitched imagining it was his cock instead of your finger’s. "That’s enough. You’ve been a good girl so far.”

“So am I getting fu-”

“Not yet my pet spread your legs apart a little I want to taste you” he got on his knees leaning over you dipping his head between your thighs. His hot breath hitting your spread lips, taking in the scene before his eyes. “You better be thankful for this” 

“What do yo- Oohh!” he was eating you out! His tongue flicking at your clit taking turns between lapping up your slick and stimulating your clit. It wasn’t long before the cumming sensation came back, your lip was bruised from biting down too hard trying to keep in moans that eventually escaped and did nothing but dive kai into teasing you even more. 

“If you cum now I won’t fuck you.” He warned, “beg, beg me to fuck you and allow your release." 

“ Please fuck me! Let me cum! Ugh!” you tried holding back your release, but Kai’s skilled tongue was making it hard and you caved. 

Yelling as you came “Fuck me like the useless whore I am, break me until all I know is how to take your cock” 

He lifted his head cum running down his mouth eyes wide. “You really are sick. Proclaiming yourself like that. So you want to be a whore huh? Very well then, you will be treated as one.”  he aligned his cock to your entrance and thrusts into you at a rapid pace. You hold onto his thighs your nails digging and breaking the skin. 

“Kai! Ohh fuck!” tears of joy ran down your face. “It’s master “ he growled “you don’t get to call me Kai. is that understood? Whore?” you nodded like a needy bitch "yes Master! Use me as you want, break me!” He smirked “Good I’m glad we’re on the same page” the sound of skin slapping skin and creaking floorboards echoed through the small room.  His cock stretching you out hitting your womb “master may I cum?” he nodded and grunted as he too came. 

“You felt good” he leaned over and kissed your forehead as you held onto him.

kofi

[mci-writing]

Preggers Hero Wife HCs (Dekusquad Bois)

Iida Tenya:

SFW-

Boi worries over you big time after he finds out

Somehow becomes even more strict

“Maybe it’s about time you start taking time off-” “I’m only two months in, Tenya!”

Hovers over you like a mama hawk. His senses even heighten up

Ensures you only eat the most healthy and nutritious thing. Screw your cravings

Ensures you have proper meals and snacks inbetween to keep up your iron and avoid anemia (or more anemia)

Insists on you taking on the petty criminals and lower danger rated jobs

Informs the doctor on just about everything every appointment and probably gets kicked out of the room for taking over the appointment

Refuses to let you do anything! You need your rest and to stay off your feet, even if it means just staying in bed all day

“I heard agony and pain?!” “I stubbed my toe” “WHY ARE YOU WALKING?!”

“Hi, I’d like to request that my wife take her pregnancy leave early-” “Tenya, please! I’m fine”

Starts carrying you everywhere after six months. You can’t complain, tho. Personal chauffeur

NSFW-

Unsure about your sexual desires and intercourse as a whole during pregnancy

Refuses penetration, but will happily play with you

Careful about playing with your breasts because nipple stimulation can cause early labor

Is really careful when messing around while your pregnant

Interested in leaky tits but not taking the risk without a lot of coaxing and reassuring

Concerned about your sudden sex drive, but isn't complaining too much

“Oh, Tenya~” “Go to sleep, it’s too late for this”

Probably wants to slow down when the sex drive is up tbh

“I don’t feel this is appropriate this far into your gestation” “I’m just trying to get your dick wet, chill”

You constantly test his sexual patience

Todoroki Shouto:

SFW-

Hesitant af about everything

Probably accidentally makes offhanded comment about any weight gain

Your mood swings are his mood swings

Probably doesn't even believe your pregnant until you get weird cravings

Asks the doctor commonly known questions and reports stuff that is literally supposed to happen

"She wants weird food" "That's normal, Mr. Todoroki" "Why?!"

So confused

Lots of stomach touches and cuddles tho

Really enjoys rubbing the baby bump and using his quirk for soothing circles

Likes to just snuggle your belly and talk to the kid before bed

"God, you're so beautiful, honey" "Are you talking to me or the baby?"

Will literally cover your hand if you're rubbing your stomach

"Our child just kicked me" "They said you're squishing them and need to stop"

Makes you take off months before pregnancy leave

"Where are you going dressed like that?" "To the bathroom" "Why?" "The bladder of a pregnant woman"

Concerned about your new cravings and hates to say no

Constantly trails you like a puppy and just wants cuddles

Immediately quiets you when you start talking about any possible quirks they’ll have

NSFW-

High sex drive suddenly? Okay?! Yes!

Kisses just about every, EVERY part of your body

Just makes sure you feel equally as loved with his tongue

Oh? Your tits are leaking? Definitely sucking them dry until the baby comes (Probably does some sucking after that too ( ͡°ω ͡°))

Determined to fill you up with another kid (Bc he’s a Todoroki and they’ve all got bad breeding kink in their blood! Change my mind!)

You’re practically his little cow and he’s determined to make sure you’re even more loaded with his kids

Still sensually rubs over your stomach, but that hand tends to sink lower and give a little action down under

“Fuck honey, you seem so tight for someone about to give birth soon~ Want to spill your secret?” "I could fuck this pregnant cunt just about all the time with how good it feels"

Casually makes dirty comments throughout the day that do not help your libido

“We should probably give the kid a playmate as soon as they're born” “I wouldn’t mind you always being this pregnant when I come home everyday” 

Takes you from just about every position that allows him to watch/play with your breasts and belly

Midoriya Izuku:

SFW-

Worry wart™

He’s so happy and he just has stockpiles of notes for just about every aspect

Asks 24/7 if you’re okay

“(Y/n)? How are you feeling?” “I’m fucking tired! It’s, like, 2 am?”

Makes surprise pop ups on you and the baby during his breaks

Impatiently awaits your required pregnancy leave bc he understands that being a hero was both of your dreams

BUT he also asks you every morning to take it easy for both your well-being and your unborn child’s

Caves and gives you junk food if you give him the right face or if your mood swings are just a little scary

Talks to the kid the time

He’s like a grown-child half the time

Let’s you do most of the talking during appointments, but does add the occasional thing or two you missed

Literally cries dangerous and destructive tears during each ultrasound

No longer allowed in the ultrasound room

Plays fricken music and educational things in the house ALL the time

 “Baby Einstein?” “All Might gave it to me for the baby-” “Babe, this is for when they’re born”

Lots of snuggles and kisses for both you and the bump

It’s hard to evenly distribute thousands of kisses

Cries about everything you do. Like, you're just so beautiful and amazing and you're just doing so well

NSFW-

“Okay, I understand that you’re horny, but what if your water bursts mid-thrust”

Like Iida, avoids penetration but takes way less coaxing

prefers you ride him, bc 1. He gets a good view of you and your face to know if you’re in any form of pain  2. Bouncy, swelled breasts  3. He gets a good view

Hesitant about breast stimulation at first, but he’s a tits man and he really wants to try some of that milk if you’re lactating

Just really likes the swell of your tits

Holds tits a lot

Likes positions where he can fucking hold tits

Probably slips up amd calls you mommy bc it's his verse nature

"Mommy, your breasts taste so good and they're just so big! I-I can barely fit them in my hands"

Gets really embarrassed if you tease him about it

"Mommy's tits are leaking again, Izu~" "(Y-Y/n)!"

Legit, just send pics of your tits while he's at work and he'll immediately be home

 Feels bad if he can’t keep up with your libido and just eventually caves into buying you new toys

 Apologizes to the child before and after pounding her pussy

His pillow talk is literally directed at the child for a majority of the time

Aoyama Yuga:

SFW-

Compliments everywhere

The house is covered in fucking glittery sticky notes of compliments

Talks to the kid more than he works

Checks on you more than he works

You’re not even sure he still works

“Mon chouchou, you’re carrying our child so splendidly”

Kid should know everything about France by the time they’re born

He’s decorated the kid’s room in sparkles

You’re immediately on house arrest as soon as you begin showing

Asks for status updates every appointment and ensures he knows exactly what to do when the time comes

Hates for you to even lift a finger. He just wants you to rest and let him do all of the work for you. You’re his queen carrying their seed and you deserve the best

Cravings? Ah, no! This very healthy snack is a way better alternative

Plays off your mood swings

Just spoils you so much bc he just loves you and your tummy

Loves to just lightly caress your belly and whisper sweet nothings as soft music plays

Ah, romance is still super high in the household and there are practically rose petals at your heels

You’ve asked him to chill with the roses and you believe he listen- Nevermind, they’ve doubled

NSFW-

Who needs high libido when your receiving pleasure and compliments?

He knows when your pussy is begging to be fingered and honestly only takes you but so far

Careful around your breasts, especially if they’re leaking. It’s for your precious bundle on the way

However, if they really need relief, he’s ready to happily suck them dry

Can never decide how he’s pleasuring your clit, so he alternates between mouth and hand quite often

Loves dressing you up in baby doll lingerie! It just compliments you and your baby bump so much to him 

Tokoyami Fumikage:

SFW-

You get double the love from both him and Dark Shadow

Dark Shadow is like the toddler curious of their new sibling while Fumikage is literally smitten with you both

Both are just constantly talking to the kid, one joking about someone with a bird head and the other warning their child about their father with a bird head

Frets over you more than he’d like to admit, even being around and checking on you outside of your knowledge

You’re caving bird seed and he’s questioning that outcomes

Mixed about food choices. He tries to stay in a nice blend of your... weird cravings and what you really need for optimal delivery

There are many bird-baby related questions to your doctor. You also have an on-call vet say it should be a very bird baby situation

Snuggles your stomach after a long day

Both him and Dark Shadow have made you a nest ‘

Randomly brings you your favorite food and you learn to not question it

Hates for you to leave home without him

Hates being away from both you and your kid for too long

NSFW-

Beak shoved in pussy a lot

Very awkward about lactating breasts bc he wants a taste, but he also doesn't want to hurt

Eventually caves but his very gentle about it

Refuses to pound pussy and prefers using toys on you instead

[elecilaombre]

Alone

 This fic was originally wrote in french, and I struggled quite a lot to translate it without spoiling the meaning behind the words. It’s Tim centric and an “Stalker AU” ( I guess) in a no cape AU, idk... anyway, it’s quite long, around 8k words ... Also it is one of my work who are kind of important for me so I hope you will enjoy it ! And a big thanks to @crypterion-moon who kindly corrected it and helped me to translate it in a correct english, you are a blessing ! And to you @nanadrawsrobins who wanted to read it ! Happy reading !

// trigger warning : mention of paranoia, depression, suicide, death, blood and stalker \\ I don’t believe it’s too hardcore but better safe than not....

“ At first it was just an impression,as if I was being followed, or spied on. From time to time, I’d turn and catch a glimpse of a leaking form. But it was alright, my fault, I always blamed my lack of sleep for those apparitions. Or maybe it was only me being too suspicious for no reason. Indeed, at first, it was only feeling, a bad one…

But suddenly it became more, so much more. Now, I saw - no, I felt - a presence always behind me, close to me. I could catch sight of this thing that was always following me, my eyes seeing glimpse of his silhouette. I was starting to be afraid of turning around and see it there right before me. Never would I have believed that it could have got worse, I thought things would improve, it couldn’t be any worse that how it was now. Except that it didn’t. I couldn’t explain exactly how or when, but the presence kept getting closer and closer. I just shouldn’t let it go by, and I learned that the hard way, the day I heard him breathing, from somewhere inside my own bedroom. He was there. In my own house. Stalking me.

I stayed awake until dawn that night, paralysed with fear … I don’t believe I have slept since …That doesn’t matter right now !

My main point is that I am being followed. Spied on. They are here, somewhere, even while I’m talking to you right now.

Even when I walk in the main hall, with their steps echoing with mine.

Even when I hold my breath, will I am lying stiffly in my bed, I can hear them just before they held their own breath, a moment too late.

Sometimes … Sometimes I swear they are whispering things, cold and dead things.

So, please, I am begging you, help me. I am tired, exhausted. I haven’t had a real night of sleep in days, weeks. I live off coffee and caffeine. And I am so terrified. Not just creeped out… It’s a chilling fear that fills my body.

But you, who is always there, present in every corner of this damn apartment. You, you must have seen them. Even if it’s only once. Just tell me where they are ! Who they are !

Oh I’m begging you, you are me, I am you… So why wouldn’t you help me. To save me ? To save us !”

Tim then fell silent and raised his head toward his reflect. He gave him a sad little smile and the other offered him a crazed one. To think he was alone with this fool.

A cold anger had begun to pervade him, will the other face took on an awful look, deformed by hatred. It made Tim gone berserk.

“ And you dare mock me ! Mock everything that happened to me ? They are going to kill me ! Or worst … Abduct me ! And you think it’s funny ? That is fucking unbelievable ! I surely hope from the bottom of my heart they will butcher you too, maybe that will be enough to erase that stupid smile off your face !”

The other was mimicking him, each one of his ticks, like a grotesque mockery of himself. 

And even if Tim heard the door opening, it didn’t stopped his fist to crash against the other face, sending blood everywhere in the process. Cracking the mirror so violently that the glass shattered, sending tiny little pieces everywhere, glasses sinking into Tim’s flesh.

He was done. Already dead. His only hope, himself from the other side, wasn’t there anymore, didn’t wanted to help him.

Tim let himself fall on his knee, surrounded by glass debris, and began to cry. To sob, hysterically, hiccuping and eyes dilated. Smile distorted on his face. However, he still had enough clarity to have heard Stephanie coming in, exclaiming softly, her voice so warm, so reassuring, this was all her. Even her footsteps were soft and calming, as well as her scent or warmth of her skin. 

He let himself go against her, eyes stubbornly closed,crying harder, sinking into her arms, her embrace into her, her, and just her. Tim was now crying because he knew. He knew she wasn’t - and couldn’t - be here. He murmured it again and again, she wasn’t here but Oh how he wished for it.

And when he opened his eyes again, Stephanie was, indeed, not within sight. He was alone and he was hallucinating. Tim was just so tired. He rubbed his eyes,trying to rid them of the burning and got up. He could just go to bed. He could finish taking care of his wound and just go to sleep, to take a well deserved rest. Or he could just finish the bandage, make himself a coffee and finish his paperworks. Yeah, that sounded about right. And when he said it out loud, tasting each word like adrénaline, giving them more strength, more tangibility in his weaken mind … He thought he heard a laugh, someone chuckling quietly. 

But, well, at this point, was it even important ?

*************************

“I feel like I am losing it… Or I might already had lost my mind. I … I saw Bruce. I saw him yesterday, in a coffee shop. I walked right by him and I just… Runaway ! 

You know as well as I do that he died, he died too. I am just so exhausted, I can’t do this anymore. I keep seeing each one of them one by one. All those I lost, my brain keeps making them reappear… Or maybe it’s the caffeine that’s making them seems so real.

I really want to sleep now. I don’t think I can’t keep doing this. Or it might be my body craving another dose of coffee … What do you think ?”

The lightbulb sizzled a little, then shut down. Tim sighed, basking in the dark, water clapping softly with the rhythm of his breath. Actually, Tim was quite relaxed right now, even with the lack of sleep. So relaxed he might even let himself sink into Morpheus arms. Might.

The water from the bath was steaming, the bathroom clammy. Tim felt his head nod, sinking softly little bit by little bit in the water, which kept lapping slower and slower as his breath calmed. His mind got fuzzy, forgetting Bruce his deceased father. Or Stephanie, his rotting best friend. Forgetting about the one from the other side, about this foreign breath getting closer.

Then, the clapping intensified, the water rising suddenly, submerging Tim’s face. Tim’s who was panicking, feeling a hand settle on his upper thigh while someone breathed against him. 

He then tried to straighten, in full panic, spitting water swallowed by error. Tim slipped, water submerging him once again but still found a way to get out, yelling as loud he could, crying, terrorised. He threw himself right to the door, almost ripping of the knob, ejecting himself in the corridor, feeling a hand brushing against his neck.

Naked, Tim ran past the living room, directly in the kitchen, slipping on the wet floor. He ended by collapsing in there, clutching a knife against his body, breath loud… 

And after five minutes of dead calm silence, Tim found the courage to light up the place. 

No one. There was nobody. Not even in the bathroom or in any other rooms. He saw nobody.

He was trembling, fear and adrenaline still pumping through his body. 

Tim cried all that night, sleep seemed impossible. So he just cried until the sun rose, incapable of putting the knife down or to do anything else than to trace over and over the finger shaped bruise on his tight. 

The mark was just confirming his theory, giving a sense of reality to this invisible threat and revealing a new problem : the stalker was done just following. Now they wanted contact and proximity. And so they had ambushed him in the bath.

*******************************

“I am a mess. A living trash. I see things, peoples, events that aren’t real. Yesterday, someone chased me in the street. For something that felt like half and hour. I wouldn’t even had thought I was able to run for so long, not in my state.

And you would never guess who was behind me … Damian. Yes, my deceased brother. Who died with my father. I can’t even empase how terrible it must have felt. And …

I don’t even know why I’m laughing, why it seems so funny to me ! It’s actually kind of depressing, that everyone I had loved had died. That I am so unlucky. It almost sounds like a tragedy. 

But, well, at least, you still here, by my side. Maybe it was meant to end with just us two. Maybe you will be enough to replace all my loved one.

I love you so.”

Tim was whispering his thoughts kindly to his coffee pot, while it prepared him the umpteenth cup of coffee got this morning. He was nursing against him an empty mug.

This morning, while busying himself, he had fallen on a nest of the other. It was mainly built of blankets, foods wraps … And thousands and thousands of pictures of him.

And creepier, the blankets were still warm. The other had just left his nest. But Tim was well aware it implied other’s existence and his apartment was big and messy, so many potential place to hide yourself and never be found in this bazaar.

So, yeah, they had made nest everywhere, on Tim’s own space. And this thought made him wring his hands, twisting them painfully with worry marked all over his face, terror and stress in his eyes.

He poured himself another cup of coffee.

**********************

“ I heard howls all night long. I am sure they hooted until dawn. I could almost swear I even heard their wings flapping inside my own bedroom. But I am a rational man. I know it’s impossible. I mean … No howl could get inside my house - that wouldn’t made sense . And never, never they could survive in a big city like here. Oh Gods how I can be so exhausted. I truly wanted to sleep yesterday, I swear ! But it was just like if the other wanted me awake. At least, it’s what seem the more logical to me… That they want to stop me of resting so I get even more careless and repeat my mistake error back in the bathroom. They want me to let my guard down once again so they could get closer.

But it won’t happen, I am too well organised for it. I have a very strict program to give me some release. First, I go to the office where I gave myself a short nap of 20 minutes. And another one before lunch and after. Last one is just before I get back here. 

But, no need to be worried, I only allow it because I know fairly well they couldn’t dare to do something there, with so many witnesses around. I took those measures after my fourth sleepless night in a row, knowing I can’t skip sleep forever. 

On the other hand, I believe the other is getting reckless, and isn’t as careful anymore. For example, my secretary found one of their hiding spots behind a couch, in a recess of the wall. She notified it to me immediately, worried at the idea of someone living there, under our noses. And I believe I never got so relieved : unwittingly, she just confirmed that this whole situation was real, not my mind playing tricks on me. Confirmed because I obviously doubted myself on this, like if all of it was just a simple delirium from my sick mind. Except that visibly, the other is real, there is truly someone who has been observing me all this time.”

Tim’s lips pulled into a tiny smile, facing the window, a book on his laps. The lights of the city against the night sky calming him, proof of life following his course, even while his own was falling apart. Just like it did when all his friends died in a car accident, Tim losing his childhood friends, his best friends and boyfriend all at once, feeling like his life stopped with them. But it didn’t and kept his own flow, rhythm, still running by, along with time. Just like it did when another car accident took, this time, his family , brother,sister and father, leaving Tim with no reason to live. But he did, because life doesn’t stop for someone’s end. And Tim’s life still kept running without his consent or concern, even with all this pain and sorrow. He shut his eyes tightly, savoring both the burning tears and the dim light. 

He thought he heard a movement, like the flapping of wings, a flow of air coming across his face. He opened his eyes abruptly and, in the same moment, with a swift movement, swung at the bird’s head with his book.

The beast emitted a distressed sound, and flopped a little down, his flight shaky. It disappeared in the corridor, and Tim heard a dull sound, notifying him of his fall. He then rushed there, in the darkness of the corridor, despite his head feeling light and nausea filled him after this too quick movement. He lit up the hall and discovered the bird. The poor beast had broken his skull on a door, misoriented by Tim’s strick.

The man grabbed it by his hook and studied it for a long time, oscillating between terror and dismay … Tim had just killed an owl.

*************************

“ Someone slept in my bed this night. I know it because when I was changing, I noticed my sheet were undone… Also, I could still see the shape of their body they left. And it was still warm.

I know it might sound dumb, but I think… I believe they might have been… I don’t know, less active ? I’m not sure but I feel like recently their presence seemed less and less strong, as if they weren’t there anymore.

At least, the night, I don’t hear them anymore. I don’t see them. I just don’t feel them. Of course, during the day, the situation is worse. They follow me everywhere, it’s usual, but now they are harassing me, calling me at my office, or even sometimes on my phones, both work and personal. Most of the time, they doesn’t talk, just stay on line, breathing heavily. Except on a few occasions were they talked, whispering me all the things they wanted to do to me, horrors and nightmares, explaining the reason of their obsessions. How much they desire to touch me, to smell me, taste me.

Sometimes, I’m the one doing the talking. I beg, I yell and scream, throwing tantrum, or I cry, always asking for the same thing : to stop, whatever this is. I even cursed them once.

And, two days ago, I stopped mid-sentences, having lost my train of thought. A silence had planned on the line, for a few long seconds … Before they whispered “ talk to me”. I hang up. I hang up terrified, sure of having done another fatal error. Never had we tried to discuss together and I was fine with this “way”. It was one listening and the other talking. It was an unspoken rule and they broke it. Since, I make sure to have my secretary answer the phone first.

While I am at this, she seems more and more worried. She won’t stop telling me how I should take better care of myself, especially with my past. The worst is that I don’t even have any idea of what ‘past’ she is referring to… I mean, sure, I had some rough times, lost many, many beloved people… But how is that related to taking care of myself ? 

Anyways, back again about the other, they seems less and less worried of being caught. For example, only this weeks, they came to my office three times. Three times of them announcing themselves as my brother. Them waiting for me in the entrance. Three times of me yelling at my secretary I wouldn’t get out of my office. That my poor brother was dead ! Dead. Dead … And each time I had a mental breakdown right after it. I can’t continue like this anymore. I am too tired, too exhausted, so done.”

Tim kept cutting in rhythm his vegetables, eyes hypnotised by the blade. He was so lost, in his thoughts, in his life, in this life. The bags under his eyes were a darkish shade of purple, like bruises, proof of too many sleepless nights. Tics were movings his eyelids, as well as his mouth,  in random moments.

Tim had always been pale, but at this point, it would have been more correct to say his skin was transparent. Only his eyes stayed the same than before this downfall. They stayed clear, with no redness or blood injected troubling the pure white surrounding a soft sky blue iris and then darkness in there center. 

He finally was done with his vegetables, throwing them in a pan and got back to sitting on the bar, observing his apartment. Most of it was surrounded by the darkness but he was okay with that. There wasn’t a sound. Not even one, as if the other was gone. But Tim knew better : they were somewhere near, scrutinizing him and every movement he dared do. 

His head wouldn’t stop nodding up and down, he was scared and exhausted. Exhausted of living with this terror and stress. Terrified of letting himself relax. Exhausted of having the pictures of his deceased friends always imposed into his memory. 

Tim didn’t want to think of them. It was easier to act as if nothing happened. And truly, in some of his memory it was just like it. After all, he didn’t remember the funeral for any of them, as if just never happend or Tim just wasn’t there. Same for his family.

Tim sighed once more and stretched toward the coffee pot. He wasn’t ready to sleep.

****************************

“ I am scared you know. I mean, I don’t know what to do, how to get out of this situation.

Every body, well, the few people that I see regularly, kept saying how I look so sick, so broken, and I should be more careful because of my accident. I’m not even sure to know what ‘accident’ they are referring too. Also, my secretary kept complaining I drink too much coffee for my own good and how angry would be my doctor, who doesn’t like me taking stimulants, because it stress my organs too much. And there too I don’t get the reference, like if it was some inside joke they all share… Whatever.

All that I know is that she seems more and more weirder these days, suspicious. Like she was stressed, anxious , like if she had some kind of secret concerning me. Or maybe like she had remorse… But I don’t see what she could hide from me.

Except if she was … pairing up with the other? That would be as surprising than horrifying. But I don’t think it’s the case. She just must be worried about her own life, or maybe about me. She is just such a nice girl, she can’t be that bad.

Anyways, I’m happy that I talked to you… You’re always here, such a good listener, I love you so much Cassandra.”

Tim fell silent and listened. Listened to the waiting tone dialling over and over, in the void. The only sound was his breath reverberating through the phone, coming back distorted to his ears. His sister didn’t pick up.

It wasn’t so surprising, he already knew it. After all, she simply couldn’t, being dead for almost 4 years already. Nevermore will she answer and talk with him, calming him, recomforting him… No, nevermore.

Tim put his head in his arms,  face turned toward the bay window. It was late, but the young man hadn’t found enough courage to come home. He might just stay right here until the next morning. The light of the city downward were the only source of luminosity, so small with Tim was so high up here. He liked this idea, that he wasn’t with them, detached of this world he didn’t wanted to belong to. All this activity will he was up there slowly falling asleep, the light lulling him. 

He needed to be detached, away from anyone. He already lost everything, so it could be so easy to die now. That’s why he wanted nobody around him, not wanting anymore string to this world, to get hurt or hurt. And only when he will be fully alone, only then, Tim wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.

The dim light kept him in this state, half asleep, and then, slightly out, fully asleep. The exhaustion and lack of sleep had reason of him.

And, while Tim’s eyes moved erratically under his eyelid, only then, he dared to enter his office. He took cautious step toward the sleeping man and kneeled next to the desk. His gaze fixed on Tim’s inky hair hiding his face away. The man took off the coffee mug sitting next to Tim, throwing it away in the toilet, cleaning it roughly. Then he got back to his previous spot, kneeling next to his protégé. 

He stayed right here, crouched against the desk, caressing Tim’s hair softly, lovingly. The younger man seemed to relax against the touch, falling deeper into sleep. They stayed in this positions for hours, until the first light of dawn appeared. It seemed to motivate him to get up, going to the bathroom to put fresh water in the mug. He then placed it next to a deeply asleep Tim. The young man had finally got his deserved full night of sleep, but his worried and exhausted expression was still present on his features. 

The stranger, the intruder, sighed softly and bent down, kissing kindly Tim’s forehead. And,with his hand still on the younger’s one, he scribbled a little note for him. He then kissed him a last time. And left.

He rushed through the stairs to go meet her, waiting at the escape for her. She arrived late, but she always did. They only briefly spoke, him hurrying her, but still thanking her warmly. He had needed to see Tim. Needed. She proposed that they go for a breakfast, or maybe to meet again for lunch. He declined, but told her how thankful he was. After all, she let him get into the building and covered him. He left quickly, and she got upstairs.

It was her job to be here early, her boss was always one of the first one in the office. She snuck a glance into his office, saw that he was still fully asleep and got back to her desk. Two hours later, she heard a scream, an ugly one, full of panic and fear. It was coming from her boss office, proof he finally awoke. It was quickly followed by the sound of glass shattering, a mug crashing down, swatted to the ground. She sighed. Tim was awake. 

He indeed was up, acting as if the devil was on his heels, tripping on his own feet. He looked terrified, a little bit crazy and so pitiful, with his big blue eyes full of suppressed tears. It saddened her, knowing she was a little guilty of his state.

Tim left sobbing, without a word, shaking.

His secretary looked at him go, worried of feeling no guilt. Ô the things she was able to do for handsome face…

*****************************

“ You were there. You took advantage of my state, of my weakness. Of me falling asleep. You took advantage of it to come once again torment me, haunt me. To touch me… To violate my space, my life. 

I don’t know what you want of me, from me. But I do know you are a monster, a psychopath. A maniac ! You follow me, watch me. You ruin my life. I just want to end it, end everything, end it all. I need to find a way to stop all of it, no matter the consequences. 

And what about this note ! Why would you even left me one ? “ Even if you don’t want to see me, I will always be by your side”. Bullshit ! What does you even wanted by that ? 

It’s terrible. I feel like I am losing myself, reality beginning to mix with nightmares and visions. I’m going crazy. I’m drowning, I can’t breath, live… I’m drowning in fear, panic, lack of sleep, irrationality.

It’s been fifteen days that I hadn’t been back to my office. Not since you … That you… Since…

Fuck ! STOP IT ! RIGHT NOW ! I can’t , I can’t do it anymore. I wanna die ! I’m done with all of this, the people, the worlds, them, you … with myself too. I just cry all day … And that’s it. I do nothing, I can’t anymore. I’m stuck here, and sick of it. I don’t even dare to get out, I’m so scared to see you. To see the dead. To see all of these who will disappear, and those who already had. I’m so sick of not being able to distinguish between lie and reality. I can’t go out anymore.

I’m stuck. I’m stuck in this place and in my head. I’m stuck. With me. With me and you. You.. I… You must leave. You have to stop. I can’t keep doing this for much longer. I have already lost my mind and sanity. Aren’t you satisfied ? When will you stop tormenting me ! To force me to remember. Ignorance is such bliss….”

Tim ended whispering, adrenaline and anger disappearing until all that was left was his loneliness, abandoned. 

He blinked quickly, trying to stop the tears from flowing, even if they already were sliding down his cheeks. And Tim was left alone to weep. Soundlessly. In the dark. Laying on his back, in his bed. Arms hugging himself. He cried.

On his arms, spot color of the sky range. The young man didn’t even remember hurting himself, but those bruises weren’t real for him. They didn’t mattered. He was lost, a lost cause, forsaken. Day and night were becoming one, an indistinct temporal mass. Sometimes he’d find himself in room without any memory of going there, or why. He caught himself multiple time doing round of the rooms, knocking against flat surface, looking under furniture … Searching for someone - or something - hidden away reflex as archaic than childish.

And everytime Tim caught himself doing this, he froze, aware of having close to no control of his own actions. And each time the hours had gone from 2 to 10, without him remembering, losing track of it, it worried him even more. One day, he even found himself covered in spiderwebs and dust, without knowing how or where he got himself this dirty. 

He was unstable, incapable of reconstruct his days. But he still knew the howls were watching him with their fluorescents eyes. He knew he couldn’t go in the bathroom, fearing to catch the reflection of the other in the mirror, behind him. He knew he shouldn’t get to close of the bay glass, the dead waiting for him on the balcony.

So Tim cried even more, almost hoping the other would talk, or even breath, right against him. But there wasn’t any noises. No  movement. No reaction. The other was gone.

Tim’s felt his throat tighten. Abandon. Once again. Poor Timmy, dumb little Timmy would be left alone. He curled on himself and waited, awake, for the morning to happen.

The other breath reappeared close to 6am.

******************************

“ I couldn’t find my way back. Well, not surprising, I didn’t come here that much, sorry. The gardener helped me, he even told me how to get to my family’s tomb next.

I don’t know why I am here. There isn’t really any valid reason for it, I just felt the need to… It never happened before. 

I… Well.. You… Oh gods, I’m blushing now, all of this is absolutely ridiculous. I’m absolutely mortified of never coming to see you by my own will. Of trying to erase you from my life, to forget you for real. You are a whole part of my life. My childhood, my teenage year and the beginning of my adult life.

There is someone, something, who want me to remember you, or at least to think of the dead. For it, they keep me from sleeping, follow me and call for me in the street. Try to usurp the identity of someone they can’t be. Call me to talk about you. Force me to remember.

And the only positive aspect of this whole situation is me finally reconciling myself with my past, and with you all, guys.

I must go, I still have to see my family. I just wanted to say sorry and remember you - and myself - of how much I love you all.

Goodbye.”

Tim felt his voice shaking, tears running down his face, while he disposed flowers in front of the memorial, dedicated to all his friends. To his childhood friends. To his best friend. To his boyfriend. To the dead and the ghost of his childhood.

He stroked the plaque with their name and walked away. He had quite a hard time finding his family’s graves, but maybe he needed this time to prepare himself for it. Because it was going to be ugly and he knew it very well. 

He indeed broke down in tears when he finally got in front of them, ugly sobbing for quite a long time, until it calmed a little. Tim never felt that pathetic, that pitiful, fragile. Then, word began to fall from his mouth, rain of apologies, remorse and regrets, flooding in an impetus flow. Tim didn’t bothered to stop it. And, when he was done, he felt a feeling of relief flood through his mind. He finally talked to the dead.

Tim began to lay a flower for each of them. 

“To Bruce, beloved father and friend. He protected and loved the out cast”. A bouquet of lys.

“To Cassandra, beloved sister and daughter. She lived without regrets or remorse.”. A Camelia’s bouquet.

“To Tim. Son and bother. Other died so he lived”.

He froze. It was wrong. On the third tomb should had been Damian’s name. Not Tim’s. NOT HIS !

In full panic, he threw himself on his knees, finger deciphering the words. It indeed wasn’t his name. Neither it was Damian’s. It was someone else’s, a stranger stele.

Tim straightened and finally saw him. His dead father. He seemed younger. He seemed alive. He seemed surprised of seeing him. And while Bruce took a step toward him, hands stretching to grasp Tim, this one ran.

He didn’t slow down for the two hours ride it took to get back to his apartment, focused on the road. It’s only when his door locked behind him that he collapsed, hands clasped around his heads, screaming behind the closed door.

*****************

“ I shouldn’t have come back. It’s dumb, I didn’t even wanted to. But, well, turns out I am here. And likely you didn’t expected me. You thought I would disappear, or worse, be cast out. You thought I would just be abandoned … And that you would win, and that without me being even aware of us playing against each other.

But, sweetie, you are way too stupid to beat me. I always had been greatest at this kind of game, I’m not a quitter and I have stamina… You are so dumb you didn’t even noticed you were only a mere pawn… Brainless secretary.

Although, I hadn’t been this efficient either. After all, I was dumb enough to trust you and never doubt you… That was as stupid as your action. Anyway, it won’t change the fact they lost. They aren’t aware of it right now, but they have lost. No matter what they are to you. No matter what I might be for them. No matter what they think they are to me. I’m going to end this sick game. And I will make sure you will suffer the consequences. Or just suffer. I will make sure you won’t be able of closing your eyes without doubting of being able to open them once again. I wish, almost wish, you will die, so I won’t have to see your face ever again. But, Jessica, I won’t do it… After all, you are my secretary …

I will be the first suspect of your murder. But I still need you to suffer. To suffer as much I did those 4 last months. I want you to fall on this hellscape like I just did.

But don’t worry, I will catch this son of a bitch and make him regret his fucking fixation. I’m not an object, I’m not breakable. I’m not malleable. And I’m not fucking rational ! NOT ANYMORE !

So now, you will be a good girl and tell me who employed you. Who you helped to play me this ‘trick’. Tell me so I can end it for real with them. SO … WHO. IS. IT. WHO ?”

Jessica began to cry once again in front of Tim. She was unable to articulate two coherent words and it only pissed off the man more. He threw suddenly his coffee mug through the room, sending it to shatter on the opposite wall,  missing Jessica. She curled on herself, yelling even more.

Tim massaged his head, feeling a headache coming. She should shut up soon or he will lose the poor self control he maintain. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. No, Tim won’t hit here. No, he won’t lose control. No, he didn’t tried to aim the mug at her. You must understand Jessica, the poor man is exhausted, so stressed. He just lost a little his calm but he is better now. He just needed to know who left the note signed by his brother. And after, he could rest. After he would be better, calmer, and will finally stop yelling at her. Maybe he wouldn’t even take her to the justice… He just needed a name Jessica, just a name.

But the secretary wouldn’t talk, keeping her mouth sealed, mute if excepted the sob. So Tim sighed. He couldn’t do it, he didn’t know what to do. Maybe he wasn’t awake enough to think straight… Maybe he needed a nap… Or a coffee, yeah, that sounded about right ! After he could handle in a better way this whole situation !

He stopped only when he registered Jessica giggles, horribly distorted and ugly in her rattle voice. She never had a pretty laugh, more a travesty of one, something sounding like a cackling. No, Jessica never had a nice laugh and this one wasn’t an exception. Tim realized she wasn’t even trying to hide the truth now, because she believed she had the upperhand in this. That she was smarter, than him, than them. 

She explained everything, proudly, sure of having outsmarted both of them, tears turning into a smug grin. Yes, she helped them to find Tim. Yes, thanks to her, they got Tim’s address. Yes, she was also the one who helped them to sneak in the office. Yes, yes , yes she was the one who made it all. All of this… And who could blame her ? It wasn’t her fault, oh no no no. It was Tim’s fault. He caused this whole situation all by himself. After all, it was him who drank too much coffee for his own good… Or refused to go see a doctor … Who denied the simple existence of his accidents and their sequelae. It was Tim who had stopped to even try to sleep, live and eat !

And, indeed, she started to do all of this for him. She really wanted to help you, Timmy, you know ? To help you get out of this whole paranoia spiral thing, this psychosis he had. So she called them, revealing him where Tim’s place were.

And, at one point, quite quickly actually, it wasn’t about Tim anymore, but about herself. The other was gorgeous. They were desperate. They were heart broken,weakened by Tim’s rejection. So, yeah, at one point it wasn’t for Tim at all, she switched camps, she was there to help the other. They needed affection so badly, craved it, and Jessica was the solution. Her objective had become to have him for herself, maybe even get rid of Tim, never mind of him. She wanted them in her bed, in her arms.

Today, she reached her goal, almost there. The other would give up soon. And for Tim, given his state, it was only a matter of time before he mess up, make an - another - error, which would either get him to a psychiatrist hospital, or to the tomb.

Jessica almost have her date, almost, she was so close to it. The other promised her a dinner for after he got a chance to talk to Tim. Both of them were so close to their goal.

And that, Tim just realized it. She had almost reached it, at least it’s what the other made her believe. They had baited her with a promise of a pseudo relationship, in exchange for him. His stupid secretary had sold him for a one night hook up. Apparently he wasn’t worth much more.

To be fair, she was just plainly lying to herself, at what point sending a stalker after Tim was for his so called “ well being” ? Did she truly believe they would heal him of his paranoia by spying on him !

She was crazy. Jessica had lost her goddamn mind… She had sent him a stalker … A STALKER ! And she HELPED them !

So Tim did what he did best : he panicked. Once again. She betrayed him, she knew everything about him and she sold him… And what would have happened if Tim hadn’t confrontate her ? Jessica would have let the other go to the end of his fantasy, even if it mean mean Tim’s death ?

Then, Jessica made another error. One of too many. She announced point blank to Tim how she invited the other to catch up with them here. In Tim’s own office, with the whole building being empty… But she reassured him, no need to worry, they just wanted to talk, and once it will be done, she will finally have her date with them. And no, Tim hadn’t a word to say about them coming here, it was already engaged, too late to back up. He was just so lucky to have such a handsome brother.

It finally clicked on Tim’s overwhelmed mind. Of course ! She had believed them ! She fell into their trap like the idiot she has always had been… Jessica believed they were related to Tim, but it couldn’t be possible in anyways. Because Damian and Cass, his only siblings were dead.

He got up quickly, realizing they were going to show up soon. Tim needed to get out of here or he’d be a dead man when they arrived. Jessica reacted quickly, displeasure at Tim’s attempts to ruin her chances of that date clear on her face. Given Tim’s manic and sleep deprived state, it wasn’t hard, catching him by the collar and pulling him back before he could make it to the door.

It might be because she was way taller than Tim, or because the young man was in such a bad state that Jessica believed she could overpower him. She just ignored how much caffeine was currently pumping through Tim’s vein, how much adrenalin fear could release in a body, how much strength this broken Tim had. 

Jessica just had time to pull on his arms that he punched her in the stomach, before knocking her down. His head was full of noise, of fear, he didn’t have time for this, he didn’t have enough time, he couldn’t … He hasn’t… She shouldn’t … She grabbed his legs; pulling hard and he lost it again. He lost his train of thought. He lost control. Tim tried to free his legs, he had to go and when he saw it wasn’t working, he just grabbed a chair next to him and began to hit her repeatedly. He hit her, over and over, until she curled on herself, letting go of his pants. 

Jessica was fine, she was fine, it was mostly bruises, maybe a broken ribs, Tim repeated himself while he hurtled down the stairs. After all she deserved it, she was going to be fine, just fine, he didn’t have enough strength to hurt her too badly. He kept saying it over and over, while sprinting through the darks alleys, alone, odd mirage in the night. He kept himself to think how close he had been to be caught by them until he locked the door behind him.

Less than five minutes after his escape, a silhouette would lean over Jessica, before calling 911.

********************

“ I know you don’t wish to see me or hear from me. But I need to tell you something. You don’t have to answer, or even to believe me… Please, just listen for once. And I want you to know I respected your privacy until now, I never came here because I never thought you needed help that much. But right now you didn’t leave me any choice. I hoped, truly, you would get better without me having to step in the picture, but turns out I had been wrong, the events of this afternoon talk for themselves I think.

This time, I’m not here to tell you how much I miss you, neither of how much I need you in my life, by my side. No, I’m here to help you get a grip on yourself. You can’t keep acting like you do, you are putting yourself in danger. You make yourself sick.

No, please, I hear you moving, don’t go… I’m begging you, just listen to me until the end. And when I’ll be done, you can call the cops on me if you want…

Let’s just go back to the beginning… Six years ago, you and all your friends, your childhood friends, planned a trip to celebrate the end of your classes. And, at the last moment, you call in sick and stayed home, confined to bed. 

The bus they had rented might have been a problem, or maybe something else happened … But what we knew, is that they had an accident. And nobody survived. This day, you lost your boyfriend, your best friend, and all your other friends, all at once. It pushed you into depression, which lasted over more than a year…

And two years after, you were doing better, so much better. We thought you had finally accepted it…

Then, Bruce and Cassandra - your dad and sister - had decided to go to the Opera. You had gone all three of you, your whole family minus Damian, your brother. You had an accident, another accident in your life. It was such a stupid one, a drunk driver who collided with your car. The driver died under the shock of the impact, so did Cassandra. Bruce was declared deceased during the hospital ride. You, fell into a deep coma.

Your family got buried when you were still unconscious, you stayed in this state for at least three months.

And, when you finally woke up, you were alone. All alone. They were dead. Your friends. Your family. Dead… Only you were left… And your brother Damian.

So, you can guess what had been my surprise when Jessica contacted me, making me discover an … Interesting fact. Damian was dead. Well, it’s what you had said to everyone you knew. It’s what you convince yourself of. That Damian had a car accident, with your family, and that he died in his coma.

It’s false. And I believe you aren’t even aware of being wrong. Damian is alive. Your brother is alive.

And, even if unconsciously, you prefer to believe he died, so you could detach yourself definitively of everything you loved, I know it wasn’t deliberate.

I can accept you not wanting to believe I am Damian. After all, I had already accepted to stop contacting you like you begged me last time. But, your current health worried me too much to kept myself from staying away from you. So please, I’m begging you, Tim, open up…”

The other voice was hesitant, pleading. Tim was still curled in a nook of the wall. In a cache. His cache.

On the floor, surrounding him, lied dozen of papers. Birth certificate. Death certificate. Press articles. Hospitals bills. And, in the center, nothing, if it is the lack of one death certificate. Damian’s one.

Tim had indeed come to this conclusion. Damian was alive. Damian hadn’t abandon him. So why ? Why was he dead in his mind ?

And, if the other, this person who had been in his office, who tried to contact him… Was really Damian ? Then, did that mean, that this “other” was never in his apartment ? That all along, it had been … him ? Tim ...

It would explain why Tim found himself so many times in the hidden places, without knowing how he found them. Would it be why he never could prove he wasn’t alone… Why he lost the course of the time … Could he be the other ?

Tim curled even more on himself, and sobbed. The other on the other side of the door began to pound on it, imploring Tim to open it, to let them console him.

Tim was slowly being aware of losing touch. But he didn’t wanted  to, no, he couldn’t lose control once again and being what he feared for so many months. He had to pull himself together. Right now. He began to bang his head against the wall, the pain keeping him aware.

He got up, slowly and began to walk to the kitchen, shaking like a leaf. He had two choices … To pour himself another cup of coffee… Or to go open to the man who identified as his brother. The one who begged him to open.

And … Suddenly. Black.

Tim regain consciousness of the reality shortly after. The pain was trashing up his brain. He still registered the bloody knife and his forearms open and dripping of scarlet.

Tim yelled, screamed, in full panic mode and run straight to the door. His hands were slippery, but he still succeed to open the door. He then came to a stop, astonished by the vision, right in front of him. His surprise was mirrored by a younger Bruce, with a desperate look in his eyes. 

The man then took him in his arms, pulling him close. Tim tried to breath, to stay awake and recognised the smell of the man : Damian. Damian.

“ Oh please, please, Dami… Don’t left me alone. I don’t wanna die ! I don’t want it anymore !”

And, with Tim weeping in his arms, Damian called 911, for the second time in a few hours. He then kept his brother right against him, whispering sweet words and praise. About how much he loved him. About how much he missed him. How he would never again left him alone.

Damian was crying too. His brother was sick. His brother had cut his veins open. His brother was dying once again.

Tim lost consciousness little time before the ambulance arrived.

****************************

While Tim lying unconscious in Damian’s arms, who kept talking to his brother, the dark figure changed of hiding spot, trying to get a little closer to Tim and his brother.

They heard Damian trying to explain to his brother about Jessica and how she would be alright, with no long term complication and with no complaints. That he made sure she wouldn’t approach them anymore. After all, she was crazier than Tim was.

And the third man keep waiting, in the shadow, boiling rage pooling in his stomach. He should be the one touching Tim, he was his protégé… HIS Tim. But he waited, he was patient enough for it. He knew that one way or another, Tim would be his… Soon enough.

So he watched silently Tim go with the paramedics, and with a terrified Damian. And when everybody was gone, when he was sure of it, he got out of his hiding spot.

He stretched, slowly, cat like and find his way to the kitchen. He casually grabbed the knife, and cleaned it, as well as every blood spot. 

Tim had almost caught him, the young man knew he was there. He was aware of Tim being intelligent, but had underestimated him. He sighed of satisfaction : he was truly captivating. Even if Ra's has been stalking him for quite a long time, he never got tired of it. 

How could he got bored of watching the man sink into worse and worse desilusion. His pretty Tim had first developed an addiction to coffee, then a sudden partial amnesia, quite selective actually, and a compulsive need to stay awake. And the big final one : a second personality !

Ra's guessed it was the lack of sleep who created this split : after all, everytime Tim loose control, letting another facet out, he persisted to take pillows and blankets to make nest, like if his only goals was to get ready for sleep.

Ra's smiled, deep in his thoughts, smelling Tim’s clothes, smelling him. Yes, Ra's was quite pleased of the turning of the events. Tim’s other facet would cover him. Nobody would believe someone, a stranger, had lived hidden in the apartment … 

At worst, they would believe Damian’s presence had triggered Tim to believe so. If only Damian hasn’t came here, had let Tim sink just a little bit more, Ra's would finally had the boy for himself. To take him away with him, somewhere nobody could find Tim. 

Sadly, he would have to wait. Damian was the brother, he had more right to have Tim. Ra's was just a stalker, a nobody. 

They were two to lust after Tim … And Damian had currently won him… But it’s alright, Ra’s is patient.

“ I knew I would find you here Ra's. We need to talk.”

Damian deep voice rumbled in his back. Ra's sighed.

[shin-and-soukoku-blog]

BSD Details at the Talk Show

Details are now out!! (credits to someone on twitter) (pls dont claim that the details came from you when you share it to others)

I will only be mentioning the ones that i really love and very grateful for the show 😌✨

Be remindful that the non-bullet is my opinion and reaction so they are just my own POVs and some dont agree. We are here to freely express out our thoughts. No hate.

These translations DOESN’T BELONG TO ME. Credit to someone on twitter who shares her love and passion to the fandom.

Many were complaining (non skk fans) that Fifteen should have been OVA and not be part of S3. Now, the staffs confessed that the main point of animating Fifteen is that it helps build the world of Bungo Stray Dogs. By connecting the past and the present, it develops a deeper understanding of the characters, and also shows how the beloved city that Atsushi and everyone are now protecting came to be.

If its still confusing, this is how I understand: In other words, Dazai and Chuuya were the ones who started the story of Bungo Stray Dogs (not literally but their paths what led them to makin the present such as Dazai recruiting Akutagawa and taking in Atsushi, Chuuya as the half Soukoku, that led Dazai to think that Aku needs a partner as well) and let us not forget that Dazai is protecting the city and Chuuya at the same time during their mafia days by nullifying Corruption.

Animating Fifteen was planned to be a surprise to the fans, though a few days before the airing they learned that the information got leaked over twitter. This also happened back then with Dark Era, and Producer Kurakane shares that she was called by her boss regarding the incident. It went like, “This is the second time it failed, don’t you think there is no point in making it a surprise?”

I feel saddened by this because they were really going to surprise us but it failed, not once but twice already. Not revealing it to us before the show and by making it a surprise for us means Bones and Asagiri sensei really love and wanted to thank us so much 😭💕

She said this just gave her the motivation to try harder to prevent the secret from getting spoiled next time.

This is why I love Bones so much ❤️❤️

They thought it'd be hard but when they heard Mamo and Kishou doing the recording, it really gave them the feeling of how young Dazai and Chuuya were, and that these two really had a history. Furthermore, Randou only appeared in this arc but Uchida's acting was really memorable

They think 15 Dazai is different to today's Dazai, with 15 Dazai being really dark and wanting to die for real.

This is why Mamo and Kishou are the perfect voice actors for Dazai and Chuuya 😭💕✨ they really brought their characters to real life. Like I mean, Dazai really sounded different when i watched Ep1-Ep3 yet idk why some says Dazai didnt change. Its better to look into detail. Also, Chuuya really have the most change that you wouldnt even recognize him as a port mafia yet but a kid who handles an org and just wanted to know who or what he is.

From 15 to his present height, Chuuya only grows 5cm. He kept on saying, "I'll still grow!" but we, staff and fans, couldn't resist saying, "No, you won't" deep inside

... 5cm...? I cant believe Dazai’s curse worked 😂 and the staffs are even pointing out to Chuuya that he will never grow 💔✨

The staff was particularly glad seeing the last scene getting animated, as it came from the original manga. The art, especially with the stained glass, was also remarkable.

Okay i gotta confess, when they said “last scene” the first thing that came to my mind was Dazai and Chuuya holding hands 😂🔫 like ‘oh wait lol thats not it! Its that purple glass and crossing paths’ okaay..... im way too much lol

They also talked about the 3rd season’s OP and ED. Unlike the 1st and 2nd seasons’, the OP and ED for 3rd season were specifically made to serve as a message of thanks to the fans.

Ok so this is what we have been waiting for. And tbh im glad that i didnt hate the OP & ED. I didnt really hate it, instead I just wanted to know WHY they did it like a curious tiger. But—

Instead of appealing to new fans of BSD, these OP and ED were made to express gratitude to the fans who have been here together with BSD’s journey. The scenes were meaningfully chosen rand show what the characters have been through.

The truth behind why the new OP & ED scenes were reused. I am now satisfied to hear this truth and have no complains. Tbh, the scenes were really reused in a good way and there were on timing so it made more impact the OP & ED. So Bones really had everything planned out, I mean they are not the type of people to just throw away everything. Just like Asagiri-sensei, they put meanins and symbolism into their animation and not because they were on low budget (ok about the low budget thing somebody mentioned and I HAVE NO IDEA why they said it bcuz how can they be in low budget when BSD got S3, stage play and Dead Apple?!). Bones really is an amazing staff 😭✨ i keep loving them more and more!! PLEASE LET HS SUPPORT THEM 💕✨

Producer Kurakane was particularly emotional with the ED and says that she tends to tear up watching it. She also pointed out that Atsushi and Akutagawa were singing in the ED.

Ahhh the crying/sad scenes in ED 🙃💔 this scene really surprised especially it played in the chorus part. I love when Atsushi and Aku sang the ED in the end 😭 basically the trans they said is “What do I have? What can I do?” I can feel the feels of Shin-Soukoku partners here 😌❤️ (trans credit to bungo wikia)

The staff is really grateful to the fans’ love and support, and they are really happy that BSD did not only end with one season of 12 episodes, but is now continuing with the 3rd season, movie and the stage play. Just like Dead Apple, treat season 3 as their present.

YES THIS THIS!! BONES ARE NOT THINKING ABOUT THEMSELVES BUT TO US ✨✨ THEIR PLANS ARE FOR US TO BE SURPRISED AND HAPPY FOR THE GIFT THEY GIVE US EVERY WEEK!! LET US CONTINUE TO SUPPORT THIS AMAZING STUDIO AND GIVE THEM THE LOVE AND GRATITUDE THEY DESERVE 💕✨❤️😭

[detectivejigsawpines]

ORN-Part 15 (Taking a STANd)

I’m not gonna lie to you people: you’re probably really not gonna like the ending of this next chapter.  Just trust me on this.

Stan barely had time to let out an anguished scream that seemed to come from the very depths of his soul, and jump back to his feet from where he’d fallen, before this thing that was clearly not Dan Corduroy grabbed Ford by his hair, jerking his head back; he yanked the knife out of Ford’s shoulder (not good not good not good Stan had been stabbed there before, and while it was better than a gut wound he knew there were still some important veins and arteries and things in shoulders Ford needed a doctor right now) and placed it against Ford’s throat.

“How’s about you come on in with us, Stanley?” he asked, still grinning.  And now Stan recognized Bill’s voice, even though he had no idea how it was possible, but it was so hard to think about it one way or another when every thought in his head was busy shrieking FORD FORD FORD FORD’S HURT HELP FORD-

Slowly he followed Bill and Ford into the cabin, relieved that the wound wasn’t spraying or leaking extensively, so at least no arteries had been punctured.  Once they were all the way inside Bill kicked the door shut with his boot, and then dragged Ford, who was getting paler by the second and starting to loll his head backwards, towards a large wooden chair set up next to the table.  He didn’t take the knife from his throat until he’d sat Ford down, and even then it was just to grab a few coils of rope off the table and tie him to the chair (which Stan thought was more than a little ridiculous-there was no way his brother was going anywhere on his own right now).

Stan stepped towards them; instantly the knife was on his brother’s throat again.

“He needs to have that looked at!” Stan protested.  “Please!  I can’t-”

He swallowed a little, despite his determination not to show weakness in front of this freak.

It should have been me.  It’s my fault.  I need to fix it.

Bill sighed, rolling his eyes.  “Stupid fragile flesh sticks, can’t handle losing a little blood,” he muttered, twirling the knife in irritation.  But eventually he conceded, “There’s a med kit over there,” pointing to a corner where indeed, Stan saw a very large kit.  He snatched it, and occupied himself when he returned with cleaning and bandaging Ford’s shoulder.

He ignored Bill breathing down his neck, lightly slapping his brother’s cheek a few times after he’d finally pasted together the mess as best he could.

“Ford?  Stanford?  Hey, don’t go away now, you gotta stay with me.  We’ve got a bit of a problem, and you’re the brains here, Poindexter, so you gotta stay awake and figure out how ta fix it, ya hear me?”

Ford’s eyes, glazed with pain behind their glasses, tried their best to focus.  They settled on him for a moment, then glanced over his shoulder, and widened with fear.

Stan peered in the same direction; Bill instantly lowered his borrowed hands and stuck his tongue back in his mouth, grinning innocently at him.

“Done now?”

Stan gave a tiny shrug.  “I’ve done all I know how ta do.”

“Good.”  Bill yanked up another chair and flung himself into it.  “Then let’s talk business, shall we?”

****

“I mighta known you were the one I’d need ta deal with,” Bill said, crossing one leg over the other knee and using the knife blade to start cleaning his nails.  “Cuz Fordsy, he’s got his head stuck in his mysteries, so he’d believe anything I said as long as I told him how smart he was; he doesn’t remember the outside world even exists mosta the time.  But you-you’re a man of the world, Stanley, and I respect you for that-”

“What did you do ta Corduroy?”  Stan wasn’t in the mood for this freak’s flattery BS.

“Oh, you mean my meat puppet?”  Bill smoothed his fingers over the flannel shirt in a way that made Stan distinctly uncomfortable.  “Turns out you give a guy a nice enough dream about his girlfriend, she can ask him to do a-ny-thing you want.  Am I right?”  He cackled, and winked like he was inviting Stan to get in on the joke.

Stan gave him a glare of disgust.

“Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, they were just on a picnic in the woods!  And she asked him ta help her out with a favor, and he said he’d do anything for her, so she said-” he made his voice even more high and twittering- “‘Thank you, Dan, I know I can count on you, you big strong man!’  And then she held out her hand for him to help her up, and-”

“Get ta the point.”

“The point?  The point is, I wanna hire you!”

Stan blinked, more than a little nonplussed.

Bill groaned.  “Didn’t you ever watch It’s a Wonderful Life?  You’d relate to it, the main guy’s kinda like you.  Thinks the world would be better off if he’d never been born.  But you’re right, I digress.”  He leaned forward.  “I need Ford to do a job for me, and you’re gonna be the incentive for him to do it.”

“What kind of job?”  Stan put a protective hand on Ford’s non-stabbed shoulder.

“I want him to build something!  Just a neat little project that’ll let me into your world with a physical body of my very own, so I don’t have to keep borrowing other people’s!”  Bill spread his hands with yet another wide grin.  Then, just as abruptly, he glared.  “I was going to pull him into this gradually, get him invested in the idea through a process, but then you butted in with all your questions and just spoiled everything like always, and that means we gotta do it like this.  So here’s the deal-” he reached out and flicked Ford’s kneecap.  “Is everyone paying attention?”

Ford groaned, and shifted away.  To Stan’s relief, though he still looked dazed, he appeared to be a little more awake now.

“Good.  As I was saying, here’s the deal: he does what I say, and I’ll let you live, since in this dimension he still cares about you.”

Dimension?  What’s he talking about?

“You do what I say, and I’ll let him keep all his limbs.  I’ll even spare you both after Weirdmageddon happens, and you can go sail around the world like you’ve always dreamed of!  How’s that sound?”

Stan had a few choice words to describe how that sounded, even if he had no idea what ‘Weirdma-what-now’ was.  He refrained, however, instead reaching into his coat pocket for the other thing he’d taken out of his duffel earlier: his gun.  Which he pointed right at Bill.

Bill blinked-and then cackled scornfully.

“Oh, good try, Stanley, really cute-but no dice.  You try using that, you’re just gonna kill the meat puppet, you won’t get rid of me.  And I wonder how the locals are gonna feel about you murdering one of their own-you really that eager to go back to prison?”  He stood up and actually pressed his chest right up against the barrel of the gun, waggling his eyebrows in challenge.

Stan’s hand trembled with rage...before he lowered the gun.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.  Put it away like a good boy so I can get you settled in.”  And he picked up another coil of rope, obviously intending to tie him up too.

But Stan stood still, mind racing.

“Stan-ley, I’m not playing games here!”  Bill’s voice became sharp with impatience.  “Well, okay, I am playing games, but they’re gonna get a whole lot less fun for you if you keep trying to defy me!”

“I just wanna get something straight.”  Stan’s voice, by contrast, was quite soft (by his standards anyway).  “You wanna use me as a hostage so Ford’ll do what you want?”

“You need me to draw a diagram?” Bill demanded.  “Chop chop, h-wait, what?!”

Because Stan raised his arm again-and pointed the gun at his own temple.

****

...I warned you.