#please enjoy this i crave validation

[random-fandom-society]

I've waited 22 years to make this joke

[angelmichelangelo]

LEO AND MIKEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME you get it. you really get it. if you feel up to it i’d love if you had anything written about rise leo and mikey and their dynamic. i think about post-movie stuff so offen

LEO MIKEY TIME LEO MIKEY TIME :D enjoy!

x

In a very small fraction of a second, everything changes.

Not thirty milliseconds ago was Leo preparing himself to die. Gonzo. The Big Sleep. The very, lasting End of his life, when there’d been a crackle of hot electricity bursting through the air and so many pairs of hands bruising against skin to yank him back,

Home. The stink of the sewage reserve and overly polluted air that has the undertones of gasoline and smoke — he lands on his shell with a rattled thud, and is almost instantly scooped up by the larger sets of hands: Raph.

“Leo?” His face comes into full view as he cradles him, face taut with worry, each syllable of his name is said with a wobble of concern. “Leo, are you alright? Oh god, I thought we lost you.”

Leo blinks. The sky is no longer a rusty red, the taste of something metallic has since sunk down into his gut, rather than lingering and pooling in his mouth. He swallows, and everything hurts all at once, but he manages to knit himself a frown to match his inwardly confusion.

“Wha—”

Raph pulls him to his body with ease. His arms so gentle as they rest around his limp, aching body. He doesn’t hug back, only because he can’t find even a smidge of energy to do so.

“Mike got you home,” Raph says through happy tears. He can’t see them, not in the way his face was currently pressed tightly into the crook of his shoulder like he was never going to let go, but he knows all his brothers tells without a second glance. “Mikey portaled you home and—”

Something heavy hits the concrete. The sound of a chain spilling against the ground. There’s Donnie’s voice, clipped and short and surprised when he calls out,

“Problem! Problem!”

Raph untangles himself from Leo, a sharp breath snagged and tangled in his vocal cords, it comes out all strangled sounding. Leo forces his neck to move to the left, ever nerve ending firing off at once like a fireworks display, he does it because Raph launches himself upwards without hesitation.

“Michael? Michael!! No, no. C’mon!”

There’s that sudden, frightful urgency creeping back into his tone once again.

Leo can’t hold himself up any longer without Raph supporting him like he once was, so he slowly drifts back to the ground, staring at an unchanged sky whilst chaos continues to erupt around him.

“—get them home, now! Call dad on the way—” Donnie is barking orders fiercely and if Leo had even just a fraction of a smidge of that wonderful energy he was so very much missing right now, he might just tease him for it.

He hears the sound of his brother’s whimpering cry, far away sounding and pained, and Leo closes his eyes, not meaning to fall asleep.

But he does, anyway.

When he wakes up it’s no longer on the side of the dock bay where the air was salty and warm, but instead, in Donnie’s room. Where it definitely smelt worse, in his own humble opinion.

“Yeah, right.” A voice comes from the other side of the room. Leo gingerly lifts his head up, everything feeling so cumbersome and impossible. Donnie is perched in one of the beanbag chairs, flicking through a magazine he was barely skimming over with a quick darting of his eyes.

He pauses to look over towards his brother, expression softening for just a small moment.

“You were saying my room smelt. Something like saltwater and humble pie.” He sets the book down onto the end table. “You’re delirious with pain so I’ll let it slide.”

Leo hums, dropping his head back again, his eyes slowly pinching together, he tries to knit together some kind of coherent blanket of thoughts and memories as to what had happened.

“You passed back out on the way home.”

Donnie’s standing now beside the bedside, googles torn off from where they were usually perched on the come of his head, he’s lacking his usual bandana; a nebula of purple rings swallow up most of his eyes, both bruises from battle and no doubt the stress. He runs a hand tiredly down the entire length of his face and sighs.

“You broke a lot of bones,” he tells him straight. “Like a crazy amount of bones.”

His throat bobs. It’s serious then. “Luckily nothing… majorly important.” He deadpans him, eyebrows looming in low. “Like your neck, for example.”

Tinges of pain creep around his throat, like a ghostly whisper of his hurt that still lingers there. He’d try to reach up and touch it with his fingertips, but he’s assuming his arms were currently also out of commission with the rest of his body.

Plus, it’d look a little cliche, in his opinion.

“And,” Donnie adds pointedly, narrowing his eyes rather suspiciously. “There’s the whole self-sacrifice conversation that has been undoubtedly shelved for another time. If Angelo hadn’t portaled you out of there, Nardo, I don’t know wha–”

Leo finds all his strength at once to bolt upwards, eyes wide with a kind of panic that creeps across his chest with ice.

“Mikey,” he says with a breath. “Where is he, is he–”

Donnie shushes him with a flap of his hand, brows pinched together and mouth drawn in a stern, hard line.

“Quit moving about like that.” He moves towards him, more or less pushing him back down against the springy mattress. Seeing Leo’s concern however, does something to shift some of the hardness from his face, and he manages to pat Leo’s shoulder in a somewhat affectionate way.

“Raph and Dad are with him,” he tells him, drawing his chair up closer to the bed to sit beside his brother. “He’s alright. Pretty out of it.” His throat bobs, as if savoring all the words he perhaps didn’t want to say.

Eyes dart away and Donnie’s hands end up twisting together. Leo wishes nothing more than to reach across and grab them gently to still him, even for a moment. But the casts alongside the drugs that were swimming about in his system prevent his limbs from listening to a single command he wills them to doing.

“It was touch and go for the both of you,” Donnie finally explains, still failing to look at him at all. “What our dear friend Casey failed to mention was…” his throat bobs again, this time to swallow back the tears that brim his eyes. He fixes on a more sturdy expression when he looks to Leo. “Was that Mikey blew himself up when he opened up the portal last time. Or, er, rather, in the future, I guess.”

Leo blanches. “He what?”

Donnie nods. “Uh huh. Like, to dust.” A beat. “He’s lucky.” A ghost of a smile breezes past his brothers face, more tears springing behind warm browns. “We’re… all lucky.”

Leo sniffs. Maybe it’s the drugs, or maybe it’s the fact that they’re outta Staten Island together, but it doesn’t matter regardless. “You gotta let me see him.” He’s telling his twin. “Or I will just get up and walk to the next room regardless.”

Donnie sighs, standing and scraping back his chair, he deadpans his brother and says,

“I figured just as much. Alas, I am ten steps ahead of you, dear brother.” He throws a unbothered glance over his shoulder. “April.” He calls out.

There’s the squeaking of bed wheels against the floor and hurried, excited footsteps. With the med bay curtain pushed back Leo finally has eyes on his little brother.

He’s tucked up in his bed, face lacking his usual mask, highlighting his tired, beaten face. He’s got a split bottom lip that seems to be healing alright, still some leftover dried blood on his chin, and his arms…

Leo’s throat bobs as he soaks in the image. Mikey’s arms are bound tightly, from his hands all the way up, snaking up and around to each of his shoulders.

“S’not as bad as it looks,” Angelo is quick to assure him, voice so airy and breezy like they were discussing anything but their newfound bond over near-death experiences. “Don said I might need to wear compression stockings for a little while after to help with the nerve damage, but it don’t hurt so bad right now.”

Leo hums, waiting for their beds to be pushed together, Donnie side steps out of the way, side eyeing his brothers carefully.

“Well, that would be on the account of the boatload of drugs we supplied you with,” he says, musing over his words. Then, getting very serious, he tells them, “I want you both resting. This isn’t a sleepover. You very nearly died.” His expression softens. He lands a hand on Mikey’s shell and gives it a rather affectionate pat.

“Stop him from going stir crazy in here, will you?” He says, gesturing to Leonardo with a playful bob of his head.

Leo laughs brightly, and is somehow able to reach his arm across, wrapping Mikey’s bandaged fingers up beneath his, giving them the fainest of squeezes. Any other time he’d taken the opportunity to simply bypass Donatello’s laws and rules.

But true to his word, he was indeed hooked up to a lotta good drugs. All of which were seemingly kicking in at once.

“We’ll be okay, Dee,” he hears Mikey say, voice gentle and true. He feels him just about managed to squeeze his hand back, and although there’s a conversation still on sacrifices and suicidal portal missions, right now, with the weight of his brother’s hand in his and his gentle laughter filling the room, it was all the best medicine Leo needed for a peaceful sleep.

[thecrowstoes]

Pssst tma fans come get your juice

I know i don’t usually post my own art on here but I’m proud and I thought y’all might appreciate this one :)

[baxieblur-turnip]

credits to @/prin-kon for the base!

this stupid draw the squad project has stolen almost 8 hours of my life and i don't regret a thing. my sillies :>

[minor infodump and base under the cut]

another massive thank you @/prin-kon this was so much fun

so i just decided to take this and have some fun with it. hyperfixation brain says TSP so i did TSP! left to right are my designs for the Curator, Stanley and the Timekeeper. (yeah TK is the favourite child i am not sorry). maybe someday i will make proper reference sheets and actual stuff with them which isn't just draw the squad but eh. that's for another day.

[justonefeather]

I had a lot of fun online with my fc tonight, played for hours because i was having fun, talking on voice a little bc I've finally felt well enough to.. brain is a little mushy after playing but I feel good emotionally. We were doing a farm party for a certain mount, and me and two other guys were in vc, one (leader of the group) said Noah (not me) was gonna go to do the new raid tier savage fights with them when they come out next week. And the other guy clarified, oh this Noa (my in game name) is coming?! Leader said no, Noah with an h. And he replied oh well i think this Noa should come too! Leader replied, well that's kinda up to him! I didn't think i was that good at the game but for them to say those things I felt really good?? I've been trying to get better at that hard content, it's a challenge but in a way that feels good, and it takes me time but i can learn it. And idk I am gonna ride this high for a lil bit i think 🥹

[sstrwbrryccke]

— bullying him pt.3 | sub soobin

part 1 | part 2 | part 4

tags: loser!nerd!soobin x bully!mean!reader, gn reader, possessive reader, mentions of possessive acts, pet play slightly, dubcon, tons of public humiliation, public sex, bullying, mutual pinning with heavy denial, both are obsessed for each other, unhealthy relationships, reader is pretty sadistic, foot on crotch, exhibitionism, handjob, multiple orgasms, public fondling, fluff at end

tag: @zuzuhasablog

you tapped an impatient foot on the ground, periodically checking your phone for the time. he was late by 2 minutes now, and you feel your irritation rise as you type snarky texts to him. how was it that you were the one who came early to the pity date? it was seriously ridiculous. shouldn’t he be on time to the date he looked forward to?

yn: where tf are you? loser: im sorry im sorry im so sorry im coming right now yn: im going to pull your hair out when i see you mutt. loser: im sorry please forgive me

if it turned out that he had stood you up, you were seriously going to rain hell on him. he’s going to get shoved into the locker, have his hair roughly grabbed and face thoroughly punched until he’s bloodied and bruised. though perhaps it wouldn't be that much of a punishment compared to your usual bedroom activities with him. he would probably enjoy the process too; as it meant all your attention was on him. you realised after a bit that he really was a desperate. masochistic. mutt. (or maybe he just craves your validation that badly)

just as you were cursing him out in your mind, you see a tall figure in the distance, stumbling and running towards you like the loser he is. you can tell he spots you as well because he quickly turns to the nearest reflective surface to fix his appearance and hair; even popping a mint in his mouth before running up to you. his face was pink, probably from the exercise— his plump lips pressing into an apologetic smile.

“sorry, i’m sorry i’m late.” he was slightly out of breath from running.

“sorry? fucking mutt. do you not respect my time? if you were any later i would’ve stood your ass up.” you shove him by the shoulder and he looks at you like a kicked dog.

he shakes his head profusely at your accusation, desperately trying to get back into your good favours.

“no— no! i’m, i, i’m so sorry. i respect your time, i’m so dumb i know.”

soobin degrades himself as he chews at his bottom lip, hoping he didn’t upset you enough for you to leave him. he had been thinking about this date all night, he could barely even get any sleep. if he messes up now he’ll never forgive himself!

“—you, you look amazing by the way.” he stammers, fingers fiddling with the hem of his sweater.

“i always look like this.” you deadpan, you didn’t bother to dress up more than you usually do in your school uniform. the most you did was pick out a simple, trendy outfit and brush your hair. bare minimum really.

“yeah you always look- i mean no, not that you don’t look amazing, always, because you do! but you look extra. amazing. compared to, usual…” he awkwardly stammers, making it worse for himself. he decides to just shut up before he embarrasses himself more and you ghost him.

“shut up and start walking, you loser.”

he follows behind you eagerly, glad you still want to hang out with him even after the most embarrassing stumble of his life. though to be honest, he stumbles like this quite a lot, and for some reason, you tolerate it (with only a few snide comments here and there). it was a few quiet seconds of walking, him being too afraid to speak up and you taking sly glances at him.

“why were you late?” you break the air, his head was lowered the entire walk, but he raises his head with your question. he was clearly nervous and sheepish as he averted his gaze.

“i… was picking an outfit.”

you give him a doubtful look and he continues, stuttering. “i— i didn’t know what style you liked. and… and i was trying to comply to your requests.”

ohhh... right, the request. you snicker to yourself. you forgot about that. it was just a small throwaway statement you texted him with no real thought behind it. you wanted to see if he would really follow through or not.

“so? show me.”

he’s nervous again, arms bracing himself as he glances around to check for people. soobin mentally hypes himself up before he pulls down his white turtleneck, showing you the silver collar around his neck. you cover your mouth with an audible pfft, laughing at him and he quickly rolls his turtleneck back up. god he was so foolish, but so obedient and cute.

“and? what about my other request?”

he looks at you wide eyed, stammering. “i, i can’t show you that!”

“did you do it?”

he blushes, hands clutching the edge of your hoodie, looking at you through his bangs. “please not here…”

he begs and you feel your heart soar. fuck, who taught him to act so cute? since when did the nerd know how to play sly? you clutch his crotch to feel for his cock and he silently whimpers.

“you didn’t wear any underwear, good boy.”

he trembles, moving away from your touch to look around, hoping no one caught you two. but his heart was in his throat and he was so excited about the praise you gave. so you liked what he did? he was over the moon. ‘good boy’, he repeated in his head. ‘good boy’.

it was unbearably adorable watching the cogs in his head malfunction, and you had to control yourself from ravaging him right here and there. you take the moment to appreciate his appearance, it was pretty obvious without him having to say so that he put a lot of effort into his outfit. he was wearing stylishly rimmed glasses, a jean jacket with a soft-lined collar, a white turtleneck and black pants. he also managed to get his hair under control, bangs carefully styled and curled.

you always thought he had looks, but this just proved how stunning he could look if he cleaned himself up. everyone else seems to agree too, and you notice the unsubtle glances thrown towards soobin. he stands out, tall and lean with a bunny-like charm. a few girls whispered and giggled, clearly blushing about him. but the attention twisted something dark in your chest, it grasped and dug its filthy nails into your heart. you wanted to lock him in your room and never let him see the light of day ever again. it was an insane thought process, deranged and unhinged. he wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a victim. you needed to get a grip.

you clutch his wrist tightly, pulling him along so he walks faster. he winces at the hold but lets you roughly handle him because it’s almost like you two are holding hands. he stares longingly at your hand and his, wishing you would interlock them again like you did yesterday. when you reach the mall, you watch with silent satisfaction as his eyes rake over the stores. there was a subtle pride you felt seeing him enjoy the choice you made.

“we have some time to kill before the restaurant reservation.”

he looks at you, eyes wide and plump lips smiling, you could almost see his irises sparkling. stupidly hopeful eyes. “you made a reservation for me?”

“don’t look at me like that. i just dont want to wait in line.”

he turns his gaze back to the front as you demand, but you can tell he is still giddy, ecstatic that you put even a sliver of effort into the date. it really didn't take much to satisfy him. even the slightest attention had him trembling. the two of you explore the mall, and naturally, soobin’s nerdy ass is drawn to the anime and manga stores. you tail behind him, mindlessly noting each thing he stares or geeks at.

while he was shuffling through the array of mangas, you pick out a shirt with a few familiar characters on it; you faintly remember soobin mentioning this show when you asked about his phone background. you tap him on the shoulder to get his attention, pointing to the shirt. “isn’t this your favourite anime?”

“oh! it’s limited edition!” he gasps out, excitement in his tone. taking the shirt from your grasp. his eyes widen in glee as he examines the details. the joy didn't last however, and soon he was putting the shirt back on the racks with a meek smile.

you raise an eyebrow “thought you liked it, nerd?”

he shyly looks at you, “yeah, but it’s too expensive.” he admits, clearly embarrassed. he feels like he was parading around his misfortune, look at this loser! no friends, no lover and now he doesn’t even have money. choi soobin, born on this earth and destined to be a loser.

“i’ll buy it for you.” your words cut through his thoughts. his cute hopeful eyes look up at you, and you interrupt him before he could utter out another word.

“but, you need to try it on for me first.” you continue, a pointed look on your face.

he pause for a second, the request was innocent enough, right?

☆★☆

he should’ve known, nothing was innocent with you. that's why he’s standing in the middle of the changing room with you sitting in the corner. a smirk on your lips.

“strip.”

he hesitates, but slowly shrugs off his jean jacket, he’s done this many times in front of you, and you’ve explored every nook and cranny his body can offer. but he never ceases to feel shy in his own skin, especially when you observe him like a collector would with a jewel. maybe its the setting that’s making him bashful, it feels borderline illegal to do such an act in the mall. even though many people have stripped down naked in the changing room, the way you make him feel is so sinful.

he takes off his turtleneck, exposing his bare chest, the silver collar complimenting his pale skin beautifully. it wasn’t much of a striptease and more of an activity he had to get over and done with, but it was still extremely arousing for you. watching him debase himself in his casual clothing. normally you only saw him in his school uniform (bruised, injured, crying, fucked out of his mind and all other similar variants), but watching him in his own clothing made you feel so much more powerful. like you had control and dominance over him even outside of school.

he awkwardly stands in the middle, half-naked. waiting for your next command. it didn't even take that much to train him! naturally so obedient.

“take off your pants too.”

he whimpers at this, clutching at his pants but not making a move. he begs you with his eyes, take pity on him please! not here!

“i’m… not wearing anything underneath”

“i know, take it off.”

“i, i, no, it’s.” he stammers, sweaty hands staining his pants.

“no? are you saying no to me?”

he shivers at your tone, nervously gulping. this didn't seem good at all. “i—!”his ears ring, reverberating in his chest. his right cheek was stinging red. “wh—“

you slap him again.

“mutts don’t talk.”

he shuts up at this, tears threatening to spill onto his glasses. you pull him forward by the silver collar and he helplessly stumbles as you tug him around. you observe the red slap marks on his cheeks, intertwined with his blush.

“you’ve been disrespectful since the beginning of the date. first you show up late and now you refuse to do something so simple? are you trying to make me mad choi soobin?”

he shakes his head desperately, a tear slipping down. he must be the lowest scum of the earth, because the rougher you treat him, the tighter his pants get. he isn’t a masochist he swears, but your attention (no matter good or bad) on him feels so good. he was so touch and attention starved, desperate for any kind of recognition from you.

“i’ll only repeat myself once, strip.”

he stumbles up, shaky hands quickly peeling his pants off his legs. his already hard cock embarrassingly erect and dripping the moment it’s exposed.

“look at that.” you coo, slapping his dick, making precum drip to the floor as he cries. “pretending to be so shy and innocent while you’re sporting a rock hard boner.”

he snivels pathetically, shaking his head and making his hair tousle around. the silver collar glints like a gem in the light. you chuckle cruelly. “okay, put your limited edition shirt on now.”

he bites back a whimper, he wanted you to touch him so bad. but he obediently slips on the shirt, it feels so dull against his skin, barely covering his cock. soobin rubs his thighs together, now more interested in you rather than the shirt. he wanted you to adore and spoil him, hell, spank him and hurt him too— just anything!

as if you read his mind, your hand reaches out, before you could even touch him, he starts trembling. you pull back with an amused smile and he immediately begins to cry and beg.

“no— no please touch me please touch me i’m sorry, i, i wanna, i wanna be good for you please!”

“bunny can’t even keep quiet?” you tease, putting your hands behind your back and he whines. the nickname thumping in his heart.

he starts again, though this time he tries to control his voice, suddenly aware that you two were still in public— only hidden away by a thin curtain. his bottom lip quivers as he moves closer to you, fingers meekly reaching out to grasp your hoodie. he leans his head on your chest and a small weak whisper escapes his pink lips.

“you already own me… so please just touch me…”

a shiver runs down your spine, holy shit this was dangerous. playing sly at first and now coy? he had an effect on you that you weren’t sure you liked. “i get it already so shut up and come here.” you lowly groan, pulling his body flush against yours. he tremors out a whine as you roughly grab his cock. he couldn’t complain though, because your warm hands were embracing him and touching him exactly where he wants. he melts in your hold, face comfortably nestled in the crook of your neck as you played with his cock. his groans and whines die down in your shoulder, and the way you thumbed his slit was almost domestic.

fuck what was this pathetic man doing to you? here you are in the changing rooms, letting this loser hug and sniffle into your shoulder as you jerk him off. the whole situation was bizarre and you were starting to feel lightheaded. weren't he supposed to be the one servicing you?

you press down on his cockhead particularly hard and he cries into your neck, biting the collar of your hoodie as you slide his cock underneath the limited edition shirt, rubbing him with the friction of the fabric. this sets him off, the motion just felt way too good, he keens into your fist, panting into your shoulder as he holds your hoodie tightly.

it was taking a little more than usual to make him orgasm, normally you would describe his orgasm speed as 'embarrassingly fast', but he seemed to be holding out for some reason. you give his cock an experimental squeeze and he just digs his face into your neck more. then it hits you, you haven’t given him permission yet. could he have been waiting for your verbal confirmation? maybe that's why he was squinting his eyes so tightly and biting down on your collar. just the thought itself sparked heat in your lower regions. it satisfied you more than you would like to admit.

so you lean down to where he was tucked, breath touching his ear.

“come for me”

it was a simple test on a guinea pig, cause and effect.

you eye him down as his body quivers, face flushing a thousand shades of red with an embarrassing amount of saliva wetting your hoodie collar. right after the command he releases, cock jittery and shaky as it spurts out come into the limited edition shirt. he finally lets go of your hoodie, taking a second to gain back his strength. when he comes to clarity, you can see the panic set in his throat. staring at the ruined limited edition shirt.

"what do we do? it's dirty now!"

"we buy it, what else?"

he hesitates and you raise a brow. "but, the, cashier she might, see this."

he vaguely gestures to the come stain on the shirt, right above his now flaccid cock.

"so? hurry up and change."

soobin seems troubled at your nonchalant response, but changes back to his outfit as you asked, timidly holding the ruined limited edition shirt. you shove the dollar bills in his hand.

"go up to the cashier, and pay."

somehow he summons up the courage to walk up to the counter, trying to ignore the feeling of his dick making contact with the rough jean fabric each time he took a step. it was all smooth at first, he let the cashier scan the item (making sure the stained patch was hidden), paid with the cash and felt the relief of freedom just as the cashier took the shirt to bag.

only for her to pause, soobin feels his palms clamber with sweat. she was staring at the shirt, an unreadable expression on her face before her eyes meet back with his.

"sir, it seems this shirt is stained."

god please just strike him down already.

"oh." he feels so dumb, only able to let out a sound in response. his tongue wasn't cooperating, how was he going to explain? what could he say? what should he say?

"ugh," the sound of exasperation makes him jolt. she's disgusted. she's definitely disgusted and he can never show his face in this store again.

"—it seems like the only one in stock. i'm so sorry for that sir."

she still doesn't know a thing. his heart was threatening to jump out of his throat. "it's, it's alright." his words came out weaker than he would've liked.

"are you sure si—"

"yes! yes! please give me that!" he couldn't help his sudden outburst, snatching the item from the poor lady's hands and running off in the opposite direction. he was dying from humiliation and his feet carried him like the wind over to you. he bit back tears as he faced you, bashfully showing you the receipt. it was times like this when he wishes he wasn't so tall, it would be so much easier to hide away in shame.

"what happened?" your introspective voice came through, he could hear your smirk.

"she saw the stain" he had to use all his willpower not to cry, hands clutching onto the shirt tightly. it was humiliating to admit, but a small part of him felt relief in his confession— as if the natural progression was for you to give him comfort and ease his anxieties.

"look at you soobin, so embarrassed and ashamed of your come stained shirt." you coo in your familiarly condescending yet comforting tone and he folds, nodding in agreement, tears brimming in his eyes. you rub his cheek, which was still red from the slap. it was such a surprisingly caring act that surprised both you and him, but he melted into your touch like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"you were so obedient bunny, let's go to the restaurant." he dumbly bobbed his head at the nickname. all he could think was how the humiliation was so worth the reward.

☆★☆

the cafe was packed, but it wasn't a big problem in the private booth. you tap your finger on the counter as you watch soobin go through the menu for the fifth time now. indecisive was his middle name.

"hurry up."

"what do you want?"

he's asked this for a millionth time now, could he really not decide without your input? the waiter has been standing there for a good minute. "dude, just choose what you want already. i'm getting impatient."

he purses his lips in clear panic, pointing to a random food item on the menu. "i'll, i'll have this!"

"an extra spicy jjamppong coming up." the waiter escapes quickly, leaving soobin with an exasperated and intimidated expression after having his order read out for him.

"what? loser can't handle spice?" you tease. he looks at you with a frown.

"i can eat spice!"

"right." the conversation ends there, but you weren't just going to just let him off like that. the table was so nicely set up after all, such a thick tablecloth.

"soobin, pull down your pants."

he immediately widens his eyes, looking around rapidly to see if anyone heard. "i, i don't know i,"

"calm down, no one can see under the tablecloth. pull it down." you rest your foot on his inner thigh, signalling to him. he lets out a shaky breath. your grin broadens as his hands travel down, shuffling his pants down to his knees. still paranoid, he takes another glance at the other customers.

you focus on something else entirely, your trailing foot to his exposed crotch to be exact. when the leather of your soles makes impact with his naked cock he wails before slapping a hand over his mouth. his thighs instinctively clamp around your foot, shivering and shaking his head. "mean, you're mean."

his bottom lip was quivering, thighs still clamped tightly as you pressed your foot down harder. "please." he whispers.

"hm?"

"please please ple—"

"here's your orders." the waiter interrupts with both of your orders, soobin glances at the man with terrified eyes, looking over at you in a silent prayer.

you smile graciously (you press harder on his cock) as you take the plates (his thighs shake and you rub your foot ever so slightly), what a nice waiter, of course, you had to start a conversation! (he tried to control his panting but his face was a scarlet red), turns out the waiter was born in japan, how very interesting (you start going in a circular motion and soobin nearly keens), his father met his mother during a road trip! (you knew from his expression that he was already leaking onto your shoes), wow and he's fluent in three languages (soobin's thighs are spasming and you were rubbing him hard, you can tell he couldn't hold it in anytime soon).

"it all started when i encountered a multilingual tourist as a child."

the conversation was a little redundant now, wasn't it? you were talking to the waiter, yet staring intensely at soobin in the eyes, a snicker on your lips. "come again?" you press down, and his body shudders, thighs so tightly squeezed around your foot it could almost cut circulation, he was curled in ever so slightly. shivering in the aftereffects of his second orgasm today.

"huh?" the confused tone of the waiter piques.

"nevermind, thank you for your time."

the waiter leaves, slightly befuddled by the conversation. while you turn your attention back to soobin who is breathing heavily with red-tinted cheeks. "wow, orgasming in a public space again, what a perv."

the words hit him hard in his chest and tears drop from his eyes, he could only let out a small 'sorry' in shame before dropping his head down. his sleeves come up to desperately wipe at his eyes and save some face, at least it was all over now and he could enjoy his meal in peace, hopefully!

"can... can i pull my pants back up now?"

"hmm can you?" you tease, and he pauses, unsure of how to approach the situation.

"can i please?" some begging would do the trick, right?

"you can if you jerk yourself off."

he pouts, and more tears drop on the table as he squeezes his thighs around your foot. but he obediently slides his hands down to try and make himself hard again. his cock was so so so sensitive to the sensation, but limp in his hands. it hurts to stroke, it hurts to touch. the longer it took for him to get it up the more he frowned and panicked.

finally, you had enough, you were just playing with him anyway, so you slide your foot off with a chuckle. he looks at you in confusion. "i was joking dumbass, put your pants back on."

you dig into your food, and soobin follows suit right after he shuffles his pants back on, looking up at you hesitantly. though the moment the food touched his tongue, all he could think was—spicy! now he was crying for an entirely different reason, he was never the strongest spice contender, and this was another league of spice.

you notice his discomfort, laughing when he ducks his head down. "too spicy?" "no..." he responds, surprisingly stubborn on this matter. he pettily eats another spoonful of noodles (swiftly to regret it). you just roll your eyes, watching him eat in amusement.

☆★☆

the date ended smoothly after, nothing else notable happened (other than some pervy touches and teasing from your side), back at your room again (it was a common occurrence for the two of you to stay in your room, he told you once he didn't enjoy staying in his home).

you flopped onto your bed while soobin shuffled in, putting his things neatly to the side and closing the door behind him. he stared at you as you typed messages to your friends (they had been filling up your notifications all day because you were ignoring them), he awkwardly stood near the foot of the bed.

"uhm, i, thank you, for today. i had fun." he starts bashfully.

"so you don't have fun with me every other day?" you deadpan and he stutters, being caught off guard.

"n—no that's, not what i—"

"i wasn't serious, idiot."

he shuts his mouth quickly, silent again and unsure of how to start up another conversation.

"god you're such a loser. look in that bag over there." you break the air, pointing to a grey bag you had been carrying for the whole day. he was curious about it but wasn't brave enough to ask. so when you gave him the go-ahead he didn't hesitate to dig his hand in. when he pulled out a box containing a figurine from his favourite anime, clear confusion was evident in his face.

"i didn't know you liked—"

"no shithead it's for you."

his mouth drops open, bunny-like eyes widening as your words start to register in his head. instantly he lights up visibly, smiling uncontrollably as he admires the figurine in his hands. it wasn't anything crazy, was rather affordable compared to the prices of other figurines, but soobin's heart soared at the gift and he felt like he was on cloud nine. you didn't pay attention to his reaction, or that's how it seemed, because you were secretly staring at every differing expression on his face.

"thank you... i, thank you so much..."

"it's not even a big deal, you're so dramatic."

but it was a big deal for soobin, he tenderly held the gift in his hands. this was the first time he's gotten anything from anyone other than his parents and occasionally aunt and uncle. it really did feel like the two of you were dating, even if nothing is official and the most accurate label on the relationship was 'bully and victim'.

"can i unwrap it?"

"i don't care."

he slowly unwraps the gift, taking the figurine out of the box carefully as he begins to admire all the details of the sculpture. you, on the other hand, admire him, no matter how much you deny it, there was something so addicting about both his happiness and pain. it hooked you on like a drug.

"sleep over."

he knew what you meant, in a seemingly harmless phrase. it often happened like this, an insignificant and passing statement. strange in retrospect, you were his bully and the door was right there, if soobin wanted to, he could make a run for it.

but the both of you knew he wouldn't. your attention was almost an obsession to him, no matter how good or bad.

"okay."

[hitomisuzuya]

Hellloooooooo😖

This is my first time sending a requestttttt-

Before I ask, I hope you're happy and doing greatttttt, I wish you have a great, wonderful, and lovely day tomorrow!! I wish you the best!! I love you and your workkkk, advanced happy birthday to my favorite writer🫶🫶🫶!!

I was wondering if you can do a Yandere Scaramouche with a fem reader where she got kidnapped by him, and when she woke up, he was about to tell her that struggling is useless because she's tied up- but was surprised that she didn't even struggle at all.

He thought that she's only trying to get his trust so that she can escape later on- but when he saw how she seems to reciprocate his actions, and even initiates them sometimes.. He eventually trusted her-

The rest is up to you-!!

(I hope I didn't yap too much😖😖😖

English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if my grammar is bad-.. T-T

And also, to be specific, please make it smut-

Feel free to ignore this if you don't feel like writing it<3!!

Again, I hope you're doing great, take care of yourself, love you, bye bye-!!🖤🖤🖤)

Yandere!Scaramouche x fem!reader. Smut Kidnapping. Drugging. Bondage. Degradation. Praise. Creampie. Obsessive/possessive behavior.

Porn with plot this time. This might be a bit longer than I anticipated cause I wanna work on dialogue and detail. I enjoy writing Yanderes ❤️ Smut written while sick, so bear with me🥺

You are way too good for this world, and certainly way too good for the likes of Scaramouche. He knew this. However, this was for your own good. You are strong, but that's exactly why you needed him to protect you. He had to get to you before the unfortunate dregs of life broke you down. Sank it's claws into you, and broke you into a bunch of unfamiliar little pieces.

He more than had experience in the regard.

Scaramouche spent months preparing for this. What he didn't expect was what happened when you finally woke up. The confusion was evident in your eyes when they opened, blinking a few times to focus your vision.

"You are awake," His voice sounded like velvet in your ears, your gaze snapping to him, "Before you woke up, it was real treat for me, you know?" He walked over to the bed, "Getting to see what you look like all tied up for me," His fingers brushed one of your wrists, "Though I am starting to wonder if blue would look just as pretty on those delicate little wrists of yours."

It took a few moments for everything to catch up with you. Your breath hitched in your throat, a shy embarrassed blush that he often craved to see coated your cheeks, your eyes glancing up. Your wrists were tied together and to the headboard with purple ribbons of silk. "What's happening?" You asked a little weakly.

Scaramouche was surprised at the blush. He cleared his throat. "A valid question. I kidnapped you. You dropped like a brick after I drugged you. I may have used a bit more than I needed, but you haven't been sleeping well lately," He replied, matter of fact.

You sighed softly. "Okay," You nodded, adjusting yourself on the bed a little.

Scaramouche raised an eyebrow. What was with you? What was up with that blush on your cheeks? Why were you being so calm? Why didn't you flinch away from the touch of someone who'd just drugged and kidnapped you?

Did he dare think you'd thought about being tied up for him?

"There is no use in struggling," He added, to which you only looked calm. He put his hand on your cheek, waiting for you to shriek and shy away from him.

Looking into his electric eyes always made your heart shake. "But, I'm not," His breath hitched in his throat as you turned your cheek into his hand.

"Yeah, you aren't. Now," You were no doubt trying to lure him into a false sense of security. That was usually the go to strategy for anyone who got kidnapped.

Perhaps he would keep you quiet with the few extra doses of sedatives for the first few days.

"Fine, leave me tied up for awhile. When you feel comfortable, untie me. I'll prove I won't run away," You said, giving him a soft smile that made him grit his teeth, "I promise."

Scaramouche flinched hearing the words I promise. So, he tested you. Boy did he test you. He would leave little traps to see if you would leave. He left the door unlocked. The windows open. He even left the damn door wide open. And yet when he returned, there you were, waiting for him.

Was this what love and loyalty looked like in another person? Did he finally understand what those things met?

The more he pushed his boundaries to see if you would break, the more you seemed to accept him. He got handsy and grabby with you, holding you down while he pressed lustful, harsh kisses to your lips. His teeth biting at your lower lip, his fingers brushing over all the intimate places he wanted to sink his teeth into.

Scaramouche was drowning both you and him in the obsessive passion he felt for you. And you accepted every bit of it. Even felt comforted by it. And when you said, "I want you to touch me. I want you," crawling to straddle his lap and nuzzling your cheek into his neck, every last bit of control he had shattered like glass.

"Say it," He hissed, his hand gripping the headboard tighter as he drove his cock into your sweet spot, "Tell me you want me while I make you cum on my cock, slut," He groaned, trembling as he felt your gummy walls clench on his cock.

If you could touch him, you would've. Your hands were tied above your head to the headboard, one wrist wrapped in purple silk, the other wrapped in blue (he couldn't make up his mind). "I want you, Scaramouche," You moaned, rocking your hips up to help push his cock deeper inside of you, "I want you so badly. I always have."

Fuck, your moans sounded so fucking sweet. It sent him reeling that someone like him could make someone like you, the purest thing in this world to him, moan so lewdly. Your weeping, abused pussy sucking his cock in. It was all so fucking addicting.

He drank in the sight of you, twitching and writhing underneath him, ribbons rubbing against your wrists from the force of his thrusts. Your eyes half lidded, and drool pooling from the corner of your mouth. Would you touch yourself if he untied you right here and now from how good he was making you feel? Your fingers skating over your clit, making your walls tighter on his cock?

There wasn't one intimate part of your body that didn't have dark, blossoming bruises of passion bitten into it. He'd had his fingers inside of you while he marked you up, feeling you soak his hand as he sucked and bite your skin.

"I fucking hope you know I am cumming inside," He growled, hovering his other hand over your throat. He didn't wrap his hand around it and squeeze. He just left it there to exert his dominance over you. Cum nearly spilled inside of you seeing how much it aroused you.

Seeing your eyes light up hearing that he planned to cum inside. The intimacy made your orgasm curl tighter. "Y-You promise?" You managed, moving your head back, and exposing your throat submissively to him for him to squeeze if he wanted.

Scaramouche couldn't hold back his moans anymore, especially not after that and so sweetly said. "Fuck, I'll pump you so fucking full. What a whore," He groaned. He would pump you so full like he imagined all those nights he jacked himself off to thoughts of you.

He knew he would never get enough of the shy, adoring blush that coated your cheeks when he degraded you.

"You are mine. All mine," His hand gripped your chin, forcing you to look at him as his cock pulsed inside of you. "Do you underneath me, slut? Or are you too fucked dumb?"

"I'm all yours, Scara. I always was," Your words were said with such tender truth to them. He couldn't detect one single hint of deception in your voice, even as your words broke apart into moans and whimpers.

You couldn't help it. You are in so love with him that it hurt. You'd just been too scared to tell him. Afraid of rejection. He could see it in your eyes. But, he understood that completely. "Shh, it's okay now, kitten," He started to babble, shuddering in pleasure as he pushed one of your knees up towards your chest, "I have you now. Everything will be okay. This horrible world won't ever hurt you," His hips snapped into yours with twice the vigor, "I'll see to that."

Only he alone could taint and corrupt you. Only he could break you down and put you back together as he saw fit. It was all the better for him that you accepted it without hesitation.

"You are close, fuck I can feel it," Your walls were squeezing so deliciously tight on his cock. He placed a rough, passionate kiss on your lips, devouring your mouth for a few long minutes. "And you are crying to," He pulled away, brushing the tears of pleasure falling from your eyes away with his thumb, "Cum on my cock like a good girl. You want me to cum inside, don't you?" He cooed.

You could barely manage a nod, crying out for him as your orgasm hit you. Your cum flooded around his cock, the feeling of your walls craving to milk his cock made cum pulse inside of you.

His fingers relentlessly rubbed your clit, further making you twitch and mewl in bliss as he fucked you through your climax.

"Good fucking girl," Scaramouche said, panting as he pulled out of you. Cum dripped out of your weeping hole. He didn't give you time to catch your breath, however. He was already working his way down between your legs to lick and suck your pussy clean.

[superhero--imagines]

Being Sanji’s GF would include:

A/N: this is the ugliest banner I ever made I swear.

Tags: Female reader

* A man that is 6 ft +, can cook, and treats you with respect? I can’t believe we as a society weren’t simping for him before

* We already know that he loves pretty girls, so if you reciprocate his advances—he’s down hook, line, and sinker

* I feel like he’d fall hard and fast for someone a bit shy, with a soft form of kindness

* Sanji himself is so kind, even if it’s in these extremes depending on the gender of the recipient

* So seeing someone who kindness comes to so naturally, where it isn’t a flickering flame or a bright fire, but just a soft warmth that linger in all of their actions leaves him in awe

* “You’re amazing.”

* He’s still got a wandering eye though, so catch him randomly slapping himself or sitting with his face in his hands as he tries to restrain himself from ‘being unfaithful’

* “Hey Sanji?”

* “Hmmm.”

* “Have you ever thought about cheating on me?”

* The dishes he was washing clatters in the sink and he grabs your hand in both of his, kneeling in front of you

* “Never!” And he means it, he might look but he would never dream of being with someone other than you. “You’re the only person I want to be with.”

* I think as time goes on he gets a lot better at understanding why he feels the way he does, and eventually the flirtatious behavior cools down even though he’s still as kind as always because he realizes it comes from a place of craving validation instead of genuine love

* And honestly, now that he has you he doesn’t need it from anyone else anymore

* “(Y/N)-chan, can you get me the oregano?”

* You smile as you get it from the fridge, it’s not easy for him to ask you to do things

* He has the biggest goofiest grin on his face when you wrap your arms around his waist and rest your head on his shoulder

* Sanji would literally give you a romance as big as the world — or he’d try to at least

* “Sanji this is really lovely.” And you mean it, the candle lit dinner and all your favorite foods at the center of the deck

* “But um, I feel a little bad for Luffy.” It’s more than a little, there’s an entire waterfall of drool falling past his lips from his spot behind a pillar.

* His fingers curl under your chin, urging you to meet his gaze

* “There’s nothing to feel bad about, of course I would spoil the most important person in my life.”

* Your cheeks heat up from the words.

* “But Sanji—“ you look to the pillar seeing seven faces quickly duck, and a hand grab luffys still salivating head. “—they’re all staring!”

* If you could die from embarrassment you’d be six feet under

* “Let them stare, it’s because they’re dazzled by your beauty.”

* “Actually it’s because we’re hungry!” Luffy shouts, only to have his mouth covered by Nami.

* Sanji ends up making them a snack.

* His favorite hobby is pretending Chopper is your child when you guys go out

* “When are you guys going to stop pretending he’s your baby?” Zoro growls

* You look over at Chopper who’s happily sitting on Sanji’s shoulders, munching away on cotton candy

* “When he stops pretending to enjoy it,” You respond

* “That’s never going to happen!” Chopper shouts with a giggle

* He’s so greedy with you I swear

* You give him a kiss, he gives you back at least five

* You hold his hand, he keeps you glued to his side for the rest of the night

* “I know it’s ugly of me to get an inch and take a mile, but…around you I just can’t keep myself from trying.”

* He learns how to make all your favorite childhood foods, either from a relative or by studying old recipe books from your homeland

* And if you ever seem homesick or you’re feeling down he’ll suspense you with the dish

* “How did you learn to make this?” Your region is a far ways away from his usual French cuisine

* “I have my secrets.”

* Please cook for this man, just once, make a fancy dinner and have the whole crew pitch in as wait staff

* “You’re always taking care of us so this time we wanted to serve you!”

* He’ll eat half-burned pasta with tears of joy streaming down his face

* “This is the best meal I’ve ever had.”

* He’ll fall even harder for you if you have his wanted poster near your bunk bed

* “There’s a little red stain near my lips though—“

* “Ah, sometimes when I can’t see you at night I give it a little kiss for luck haha.”

* He’s dead. Sanjis dead.

* Cause of death: love sickness

* He died happy though

* He’s just such a simp for you man

* Like, take the shirt off his back and lay it over a puddle so you don’t get your feet wet, hear you’re craving a certain type of food and make it the next meal, buys you feminine hygiene products from the store with pride (along with some snacks he knows you like, kiss your hands and worship the ground you walk on type of love.

* Honestly what a dream

A/N: kinda wanna make a nsfw version too.

[celestialtarot11]

Astro Post 🪽

Hi lovelies! A new astro post for ya’ll! Hope ya’ll enjoy! Feel free to like comment and reblog with your feedback, or thoughts. I would love to hear! 🤍

divider creds: @fairytopea

Cap moon babies…it takes us a while to figure out who we are amongst the chaos. I think its important for Cap moons to experience living alone, outside of trauma because its necessary for our development. We crave stability and order, and when we live in an environment that isn’t conducive to that, we get unstable within ourselves. That being said: cap moons need to be alone at some point to figure out who they are instead of constantly saving people around them, or adjusting their personality to reduce backlash. Love you cap moons 🤍 (including me)

Pisces moon, ya’ll be similar to cap moons too. Its easy for yall to get stuck to your environment because it feels safe. It feels like its your only “checkpoint” to everything feeling real. So much that when you enter the real world it feels like a dream. Doing day to day things can trigger dissociation, because you only really felt alive during the traumatic moments. Pisces babes, please if you can create a safe space for yourself to grow outside of trauma. Just like cap moon.

And I think this goes for everyone regardless of astrology.

Aquarius placements, the need to feel unique and special can become tedious. Aquarius placements feel this way to feel chosen, and validated in their community after being neglected. Sometimes perfectionism can get in the way of Aquarius loving themselves truthfully, because they want to project an image of accuracy. So much that people can’t make out anything wrong about them. If they have neptune affliction to their personal placements, its almost about: “an illusion,” “i was never really there,” “and you cant find anything wrong with me if i never existed.” And some of them own this insecurity and work with it. Aqua placements, regardless of your past you will always be chosen by your higher self and spirit 🤍 you have someone rooting for you: you. Your future self.

Leo sun women, you don’t have to dim your light to seem more “mature,” “smart,” and “poised.” You are the light your inner child needs and anyone who stifles that, is also stifling the love you share to your inner child. Think about it. Your joy is your inner child, you get excitement from the littlest of things and having someone constrict that: means they are lessening the relationship you have with yourself. Don’t stick around with people who rain on your shine! Stick with others who shine with you. Leo sun women are so connected with their heart and inner child, that relationship is strong. Of course it can be weakened with trauma and pain, but Leo sun women need to be surrounded by those who uplift them!

Virgo placements knowing when something isn’t right and then dissing their intuition. Virgo pls, in esoteric astrology you’re known as the messenger of intuition and divine order! Gemini is the process of expressing it, but Virgo is the vessel to receive it. You guys know whats up immediately, and have a strong sense of internal navigation. You guys know where to find and create safe spaces if theres none, and your intuition knows if someone isn’t up to any good. Save yourself the villain arc, and trust yourself babes 🤍

Aries rising libra on the descendant, many others expected you to be poised, graceful, and humble to the point of neglecting who you are to fit in. Aries rising I think, always knew they weren’t the type to just “fit in,” since they were young. They knew they’d be open, outspoken, authentic and honest. Even if it shook people, which isn’t the same as being blunt: it’s called being truthful. And the truth scares people who avoid it. As Aries rising grows older they hone their personality that is honest, bold and confident, and releases the codependent part of them. 🪽🤍

Extra 🤍

Paid Readings 🪽

PAC Readings 🪽

[kalivodas]

i CRAVE roommate!gaz who lowkey makes your jaw drop everytime you see him chilling on the couch in an exercise tank top and shorts with his stupid little perfect smile

FALSE GOD — kyle garrick

might’ve started drooling i fear roommate trope means everything to me !! enjoy this quick lil thing i spit out

warnings gaz is hot and cocky what’s new

KYLE GARRICK HAD a sickness. an insatiable hunger at the base point of his skull that told him to strum your nerves like raw guitar chords.

he followed it’s beck and call. ignored every one of yours.

that’s why he teased you like this. he needed you to admit the things he saw dance behind your eyes when he called you sweet little names.

his head dipped on the back of the couch, chiseled jaw grinding as his body stretched. a large palm laid flat on his taut belly, thumb hooked just past the waist band of his shorts.

you opened the door, and his stupidly beautiful face split in a grin. it was truly nothing you’d hadn’t seen before, you seemed to always catch kyle at the worst times.

“go take a shower, you whore.” you throw at him, then your keys and bag.

he tosses it to the side with a grunt.

“i’m not a whore,” he says simply, but the way his left eyebrow arches up — you question the validity of the statement. he cocks a forearm up behind his head, flexes it, and you know it’s a lie. he fucking knows he’s hotter than a two dollar pistol. and it irks you.

but damn it, he was pretty enough to lick the sweat off of.

“staring at me like you could eat me and i’m the whore,” gaz scoffs, and some acid bitten laugh falls from your mouth.

“oh, you’ve done it now, garrick.”

you lunge at him, crossing the couch in a few lousy jumps before you start throwing cushioned blows into his abdomen. you ignore that it feels like you’re hitting bricks.

he tips his head back and laughs, actually lets you land some of those strikes before he kicks a leg under you. his hands follow your wrists, pin them together and then you to the couch.

a gasp falls out of your mouth before you can stop it.

your eyes jump around frantically, some pathetic attempt to ease the concrete set gaze he has on you. you struggle against his grip, but it’s unwavering. makes a coil tighten in your stomach.

“kyle, let me up,” you huff, but he’s beaming like a damn cheshire cat.

“no.”

you jerk against the restraint again. “please?”

he cracks, and the bruising of your arms briefly alleviate, but when your eyes find his, he pushes down harder.

“admit you like me,” he coos, and it sounds foreign coming out of his pretty mouth. this six something, two hundred pound man, pinning you to your shared sofa, almost pleading with you to admit something so juvenile.

you laugh. “i don’t.”

“do too,” he rebuttals.

“do not.”

he hikes a meaty thigh between your legs and pushes it against you. something that stings you like arsenic and warms you like whiskey hits the back of your throat. he feels the heat of you against him and has to bite his cheek not to vocalize it.

“do too. i can feel you, lovie.” at least he tried.

your head lolls to the side. you can feel his eyes burning fever onto your turned cheeks. “fine.”

“fine what?” he implores, and his free hand falls to squish your chin, make you look at him again.

“fine, ithinkyou’rehot.”

“hmm?” he’s not having it. prick.

“you’re beautiful and you make me sick when you look that good sweaty as a mug. happy?”

he nods and licks his teeth. you can tell he feels accomplished, like he’d won something out of a claw machine. maybe he had.

“yes.” he grinds his leg again just to see you swallow a whine then releases you from his sick vice. pats your cheek for good measure. “thanks, pretty little dove.”

when he rises to his feet to go off and shower as you’d originally suggested, there’s a twisted triumph etched on his face. it makes your eyes roll. he’s honestly just glad you caved before he had to start walking around the house naked.

a/n : begging someone to ask for a part 2 im drooling

the part 2

[lieslab]

Daddy issues

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Chan X gn reader

Summary: A simple phone call from your father and Chan's added anger makes you mentally crumble.

Genre: Angst & comfort/hurt

Word Count: 7.3K

Trigger warning: Parental issues, (specifically daddy issues) emotional abuse and neglect, physical abuse, a bit of an unhealthy romantic relationship, anger, self-hatred, blood, self-harm, mentions and attempt of suicide via razor blade, and a panic attack.

A/N: Even without the request, I feel like this has been a long time coming. Please heed the trigger warnings. Please. Shout out to all the baddies out there with parental issues. Shout out to all the Chan stans with daddy issues. You're so strong, keep going, I believe in all of you <3

Requestee, I hope this leaves you satisfied. I don't think you ever said you were struggling, but just by this, it seems you are. I hope this helps you cope with whatever struggles you either have had or currently are facing in life.

I did change a few things around to fit the story more, but most of it's the same. I think I got everything you wanted in there, besides those few minor changes. I also experimented with time jumps which is new, but I think they were needed for this one. This is a long one, so buckle up and please enjoy!! <3

_ _ _

The words are thrown around without much thought. Daddy issues this and mommy issues that. People wear them like a badge of honor. Always seeking out other people that can fill the gaps that their parents left behind. Searching for temporary band-aids to cover wounds that need stitches to heal. 

Everyone wants to be perfect. Nobody wants to admit that the people who were supposed to love them the most fucked them up the worst. Nobody ever wants to admit that their nurture was ripped away before they ever got it. Cruelty swaddled them instead of sweetness. Neglect and despair instead of encouragement and understanding. Some people were doomed from the start. 

At twenty-two years old, you understood that your daddy issues were a noose around your neck, they were always there. A poking twine that pressed against your windpipe and jugular. All it took was a few words and the noose tightened. It was suffocating, it was restricting, and it was paralyzing. 

There was a devil and an angel on each shoulder. One was angry and smoldering. Smoke bellowed out of its ears and it was always ready to snap. The other was an angel, sweet and soft-spoken, constantly reassuring you that you had it better than most. Of course you did because, at least, you had a dad, right? 

Any dysfunctional relationship could cause a rocky conscience. You swore you were doomed from the start. You’d never fall in love. Nobody would be able to care about you in the way you wanted them to. At least, it was like that until Bang Chan. 

When Chan came into your life, you fell hard. You didn’t get a chance to stand before your knees were jerked out beneath you. He was strong, he was charming, he was dominating, and he was everything you wanted him to be. 

Being older meant he had more wisdom and more life experience. He was soaked with the knowledge that you craved. He understood you, he got you, and heading towards his later twenties, he was hesitant when you showed up. While you turned twenty-five, he’d be thirty. 

You didn’t let that stop you from wowing him. From caring about him with every fiber of your being, you would have given up everything to appease him and more. Hell, if he experienced organ failure, you’d cut yourself open without a second thought and rip it from your insides with a smile on your face. You were down bad, but your issues were still there. 

You were aware of them when you seeked out his validation. When you kept asking if he was sure he still loved you. You couldn’t shake everything that your father had ingrained in you, but you were still so desperate to fill that void. 

Some would say it’s weird, but you would say that you needed him to survive. You needed him. He was the air in your lungs and the familiar thump of your heart. You needed him as much as plants needed the sun. Like the Earth needed the moon and like bees needed pollen. You called it destiny whereas a few of your family members called it desperation, but they didn’t understand it. They just…didn’t get it. They had no idea what you had been through. They didn’t understand the gaping wounds that had yet to be stapled, but Chan got it instantly. 

He realized it after you swayed the conversation in another direction at the mention of your family. He knew it when fathers were brought up and the hurt flashed across your eyes. He knew it when you clung to him like a koala with fear and asked for clarification on his thoughts about you. 

You were damaged and he knew that. He didn’t mind because everyone had their issues and besides, at the end of the day, he still loved you as you were. He was thrilled to wrap his arms around you when you curled around him and point out everything he loves about you. 

From the squish of your soft cheeks, the curve of your nose, the shade of your eyes, and the way you dress, he loved it all. The good, the bad, and the ugly, he gave the relationship his all; you both did. No matter how much the guys joked that he was a silver fox, he always rolled his eyes and shook off their comments. They were just joking and he knew that deep down, the guys cared about you too. 

He knew a lot about you, but he didn’t realize just how much these issues bothered you. He didn’t realize that you were nearly suffocating yourself. Out of all the things he knew, he had no idea how much you silently suffered until you snapped. 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The day started a lot like any other day. You went to work and by the time you finished, you found a text message from Chan announcing that he’d be at the studio later tonight. It was one of those days where the creative juices were overflowing and he wanted to get everything worked out before he forgot. 

You didn’t mind it and started to head home, but then you thought about the dimpled smile and sparkly eyes of Chan. God, you were utterly smitten. With a quick change of direction, you found yourself heading towards the JYP studio instead of your apartment. 

Give or take twenty minutes and you were walking into your second home. The JYP building truly has become your home away from home. You came here a lot to support Chan and the guys. It was strange having an extra person along, but eventually, they grew used to your antics. 

The guys accepted you with open arms and when you came around, they got excited. Sometimes you brought presents, like cookies. Other times, just your brief distraction sidetracked them from their ongoing issues. That temporary change of direction helped them sort out their issues quicker. 

You checked in at the front desk and pulled on your guest badge. It was a new system that the company had been doing after a sasaeng had managed to gain access to the building. If you were found roaming the halls without a pass or a security badge, you were instantly booted unless you could properly explain yourself. 

You tugged the lanyard over your head and practically skipped to the studio room. Upon knocking, the door opened to reveal Changbin. A grin pressed his cheeks up into points. “Hi!” 

“Hey,” you returned the smile, “is Ch-” 

He jerked the door open wider to reveal Chan in the background. Chan was directing whoever was in the booth. You picked up Felix’s deep voice in the background. Chan was sitting in a hoodie and a pair of navy blue basketball shorts. He bobbed his head along to the voice. 

“You can come in, just try to keep it down because we’re rec-” 

“You’ve got it.” 

He opened the wooden door wider and you stepped inside. In the booth, headphones were over Felix’s ears. His messy blonde hair had been pushed around by the band connecting the ear covers. 

His eyes focused on the lyrics as he sang. You slung your bag to the side and smiled as you saw Jeongin sitting on the opposite side of the couch. The two of you exchanged a wave and you quietly came to sit beside him on the opposite side. 

Changbin snuck back into the chair beside Chan and Felix continued to sing. After a few more seconds, Felix’s voice cracked and he stopped singing. “Fuck!” He cried out. 

“I don’t ever recall that being part of the song,” Jeongin mumbled. 

“Yeah, what Innie said,” Changbin agreed. 

Chan stopped the recording with a sigh. He pressed a button, so Felix could hear him in the booth. “Felix, is something wrong today? This is the fourth time your voice has cracked. Do you need us to change the lyrics or-” 

“No! No! No! Of course, I don’t need you to change the lyrics! It’s just the pitch of the song. It’s so high and I’m really trying my best here, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get it or not and oh-” His eyes brightened when he saw you. “When did you get here?” 

Chan shifted in his seat and blinked when he saw you behind him. You smiled softly at him. “Hi, baby.” 

“What are you doing here? I told you that I’d be home late.” 

“I know, but I just wanted to see you.” 

“I’m busy.” 

“I’m fully aware. I have no intention of stopping you from working. I’ll sit here silently without a peep. You won’t even know I’m here.” 

“Yeah, right,” he mumbled beneath his breath. 

Felix and Changbin both shot him a glare. Changbin’s fingers jabbed into Chan’s side. Chan was worked up and stressed because Felix wasn’t getting this part of the song. It wasn’t just Felix that had struggled, everyone was struggling. 

Chan had created the instrumentals of this song and thought it’d be a home run, but he hadn’t considered how much the pitch would be a struggle for some of the guys. He was frustrated because if they couldn’t reach the right note, the song would have to be scrapped and he was distracted by other songs he wanted to work on. 

Seungmin’s silky and strong vocals weren’t the same as Felix’s deeper tone. Han’s wide range of vocals wasn’t the exact same as what Minho was comfortable with. Songs could be challenging and this seemed to be the biggest challenge yet.

Luckily for you, you hadn’t heard Chan’s mumble because your phone vibrated in your hands. You swiped the screen before thinking and held the phone up to your ear. “Hello?” 

When Chan rolled his eyes, Changbin slapped him in the back of the head. “What is your issue today?” He whispered. “Knock it off and stop being an asshole.” 

“We’re busy and-” 

“So tell them to leave and don’t be an asshole about it.” 

“Easy for you to say, you don’t have a significant other always up your ass.” 

“You're the world’s biggest asshole right now and unless you want to lose them, I’d drop the attitude. Just because you’re frustrated, it doesn’t give you the right to be a jerk. Use your words, you’re supposed to be the oldest in the room, so act like it.” 

“Oh, so you’re finally picking up the phone this time?” 

Your father’s voice in your ear caused your heart to sink to your stomach. The blood in your veins turned to ice. You shut your eyes before responding. “I’m sorry, but I’ve been busy recently and I-” 

“Busy my ass. You can text your mother, but not me? I was the one who created you and you still can’t be grateful for that. Without me, you’d be nothing.” 

“I’ve been texting the family group chat and I-” 

“You know damn well that I don’t give a shit about no family group chat!” 

You winced and pushed yourself up. Jeongin stared at you with a raised eyebrow. When you noticed, you flashed him a smile and held up a finger to let him know that you’d only be a minute. Before anyone could say anything, you disappeared outside the room and into the empty hallway. 

“What do you want?” 

“Is it a crime to want to know how my child is doing?” 

Your stomach twisted into thoughts as your father scoffed. A frown appeared on your face and, even though he couldn’t see you, you shook your head. 

“I’m sorry, but it’s difficult to find time to talk when we’re on different time zones and-” 

“Bullshit! You’re an ungrateful piece of shit! I gave you this goddamn life and you can’t even come visit! I have to find out from Google that you’re dating an idol! What have you told him? Why won’t he come visit?” 

“Nothing!” Your voice squeaked in shock. “I haven’t told him anything, he’s just so busy. He’s in a band and we-” 

“Then bring him down here, so your mother and I can meet him! What happened to respecting your parents? I didn’t even give you permission to date him!” 

As his voice raised louder, you tugged the phone away from your ear. A lump began to form in your throat as curse words were thrown your way. You shut your eyes and waited for him to calm down. Your hands were shaking as you mumbled into the phone. 

“I think I’m losing reception, I’ll call you back in a while.” 

“Don’t you fucking hang up on m-” 

The click ended his words before he got out the sentence. All at once, the weight of everything fell on top of you. Insult after insult wormed deeper and deeper into your brain. You wanted, you needed, to speak to Chan. You weren’t strong enough to deal with this on your own yet. 

You shoved your phone into the back pocket of your jeans and pushed the door open. Felix was singing again and your fingers curled into your palms. “Chan?” Your voice came out hoarse. “Can we talk for a moment?” 

The sound of your voice caused Jeongin to look up with a face full of worry. Even Changbin glanced behind his shoulder to check on you. When Felix caught Changbin’s head turning, he looked up to find you rapidly blinking back tears. His singing stopped and Chan’s fist flew into the desk. 

The rattling of the desk shook your soul. It started everyone, but you the most. Suddenly, you were five years old again in the back of your father’s van. You were weak and vulnerable. Defenseless, there was nothing you could do as your father’s wrath expanded along the four locked doors. 

You sucked it in and you couldn’t breathe. Your heart hammered in your chest, but there was nothing, absolutely nothing you could do. You were five and yet the anger of a thousand angry men was cast at you. 

It vibrated the marrow in your bones. The strands of your heart strings curled inward. Your childlike curiosity shattered in the backseat. Stay quiet, don’t utter a word, just take the yelling. Like a deer in headlights, you were trapped. 

It funneled down your throat and created a lump. Crocodile tears appeared in your eyes. You sniffled and your bottom lip shook, you were alone once more. Alone in the thunder and anguish; the swirl of one man’s anger. 

A flower in the middle of a tornado. Thrown, chucked, depetaled. Ripped from the stem and crushed between the winds. At the end, you were ripped to shreds and utterly defeated. Not even the thorns of your own stem could save you. 

“Goddammit! Why can’t you just go home? I’m trying to work here and you’re ruining it! I don’t have time for you right now! Go home and I’ll deal with your bullshit later. This is my career we’re talking about!” 

The song’s soft instrumentals faded in the background as the song ended. You couldn’t stop the tears from slipping down your cheeks. It stung more than you ever would have imagined. The words were a sharp sting to your cheek. The noose of daddy issues choked you again and you couldn’t breathe. 

“See you later,” you mumbled as you tipped your head down and rushed towards the door. You pawed at your tears and rushed into the hall and down the corridor to head home. 

“What the fuck was that for?” Changbin snapped. 

“We’re working!” 

“And they were crying! If you would have taken five seconds to look behind you, you would have-” 

“Don’t try to guilt trip me! It’s bullshit! I probably hurt their feelings. Whatever. We have work to do. I’ll apologize later.” 

While the two bickered, Jeongin stepped up and disappeared out the door to try and find you. Whatever you were struggling with, it hadn’t been good. Chan’s outburst had only made it worse and he knew that. He saw the terror in your eyes when the other person responded on the opposite end of the phone.

Felix looked from Chan’s angry face to Changbin’s scowl. When he caught Jeongin rushing out the door after you, his confusion only grew. “What’s happening?” He asked into the microphone. 

Chan slammed his hand down on the button, so Felix could hear him. “Don’t worry about it. Get out of the booth, we’re going to take five.” 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

As you walked home in the whipping wind, your hair tangled around your head. It blocked your vision and the gray skies added to your warped reality. It felt like everyone and everything was against you. 

That was the one fatal flaw with humans. When we enter a dark mindset, it’s the only thing we think about. The only thing we feel is the harsh and back-breaking weight of the world on our shoulders. The clouds close in and all feels lost as the rain pours down. 

You walked quickly with your head down. Keeping to the sidewalks, you were nearly running. You were moving so fast that by the time Jeongin made his way outside the studio, you were already halfway down the road. He wanted to talk to you, but he didn’t want to frighten you. He kept his pace brisk, but he didn’t run. 

He loved Chan for a wide variety of reasons, but he couldn’t believe he had just snapped at you like that. Of course, Chan was angry when he was mad, but this wasn’t okay. None of this was okay. 

You sniffled and kept rushing as the wind cupped your ears. You were hollow on the inside. That faint flicker of light inside you had been kept going by Chan. It wasn’t the best idea to depend on one person to make you happy, but you didn’t know what else to do. 

Your biggest fear has finally come true, everyone hates you. Maybe not to your face, but you can feel it. The bitter hatred that’s so vitriol, it’s rancid. A hatred that’s thicker than oil and stickier than jam. 

You were looking at assumptions, not facts, but your brain was set in stone. No one would be able to save you now. You had fallen far from grace. Your issues had poisoned you from the start. Maybe, just maybe, you weren’t meant for any of this life. 

Perhaps, you would take a chance and try again in the next. 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

When Jeongin knocked, you didn’t respond. He shoved the hair out of his face and tried again. When you didn’t respond to the softer knocks, he knocked harder. When you didn’t respond to that, he held his breath and turned the knob to your apartment. 

Breaking and entering wasn’t something he would have liked to go to jail for, but could you blame him? He knew you were hurting and he couldn’t stand the thought of you being alone and sobbing. 

Chan’s words to you had been far too cruel. Sure he was angry, but anyone in the right state of mind would have realized that something was terribly wrong with you. It was a gut feeling in the pit of his stomach that he couldn’t shake. 

His brain was screaming at him to leave as he silently ventured further into the apartment. One step into the hall and then another. He didn’t bother with the common courtesy of kicking off his shoes. 

The place smelled like sweet citrus. It was a familiar scent that had belonged to you since he had known you. Once upon a time, Chan marveled at how much you adored citrus. If only he would have been here now. 

The carpeted hall felt too silent. The living room was too empty as he stepped out into it. Bookshelves filled with books, a coffee table with the TV remote, photographs of Chan and the rest of the band on the back wall. Your friends were your everything and so was Chan. 

Where were the photos of your family, he wondered. It was such a simple thought, but it flew by just as quick. Your presence was here, but yet you weren’t. Where were you at? 

He softly called your name and stepped by the coffee table. The bar table in the kitchen had been left abandoned. The hum of the fridge caused his heart to strum faster. There was an eeriness that he just couldn’t shake. 

Every fiber of his being was wound up. Loose floorboards creaked beneath his feet. He was sure that he had seen you enter your apartment. From a distance, he watched your figure fumble for house keys and stumble inside. Your hands brushed past your face and he was positive you were wiping away the tears that kept blurring your vision. 

He called your name a little louder, but there was no response. His mouth dipped into a frown and he uttered your name again when a faint whimper caught him off guard. His spine stood erected as he waited for another sound, but it never came. 

As he approached the room it came from, he was prepared for sobs. He was prepared for tears. He was prepared for the anguish that came with it, but he wasn’t expecting the bright red that began to seep beneath the bathroom door. 

His heart stopped and for a brief moment, he couldn’t breathe. Nothing made sense. The circuit of his brain had stumbled across a trip. Something cut out and his brain whirled trying to reboot. 

A scream ripped from his lungs as he rushed towards the bathroom and there you were. You didn’t stop. You didn’t even care or notice that he was there. 

Full of self-hatred, you were cutting, no. You were sawing it out of you bit by bit. They don’t tell you that when you hate yourself, there is no pain in self-harm. It’s a dangerous sweet release. The stinging and burning sensation fills you with a sense of euphoric triumph. Self-mutilation feels like bliss and the cold blade in your hand feels like a friend. In some twisted way, it can be the best thing you ever feel. 

There was blood everywhere. It dripped from the slices in your wrist. It saturated your clothes and it was all over the bathroom floor. Maybe you tripped and fell. Maybe you were set on killing yourself. Maybe you just snapped. 

Human skin is so thin that it can easily be penetrated by a single piece of paper. So small, so little, and yet the fiery ache of pain is felt everywhere all at once. You couldn’t feel the fire in your arm. Gone into shock, your body had blocked you from feeling anything. 

You weren’t even aware of Jeongin’s presence until he grabbed your arm. Your bloodshot eyes were watery as they met his concerned russet ones. “Please, stop,” he whispered. 

With a snarl, you jerked your arm away from him. You started to scream and lash out. He grabbed your hand and pinned you down again. 

“Get the fuck off of me!” You yelled. 

“Please, please, please stop.” His voice wavered. He was terrified for you and he didn’t want to make it worse. He knew how much Chan’s yelling earlier upset you. He didn’t want to trigger you further. 

“Leave me alone!” Your shrill voice cracked from desperation. “Get off! Let go!” 

“No!” 

You swiped the blade down with your hand, nearly cutting him in the process. Your head bucked as you tried to free yourself. He ducked his head with a yelp. 

He shoved your bleeding body back onto the floor. Your free hand flew up, in an attempt to stop yourself, but it didn’t work. Your brain rattled around your skull as you were blinded by the sudden pain of it all. 

Jeongin panicked as he desperately used the code word to activate the voice command on his phone. When you heard “call Bang Chan,” you lost it even more. 

“Stop it!” He begged as you squirmed again. Your hands flailed and you yelled back. 

Back and forth back and forth, you refused to let go of the blade. You gripped it so hard that you didn’t care that the sharpened blade cut into your opposite palm. You were fighting tooth and nail to keep a tight grip on it. You weren’t going to let go. Not even Jeongin, one of your closest friends, could save you from the demons in your head. 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

In the studio, Chan was ready to slam his head into the wall himself. Changbin was non-stop lecturing him and once Felix found out, Felix was also up his ass. Nobody seemed to understand that they had a job to do. 

When his phone rang, he used it as an excuse to leave the pair angrily grumbling to themselves. He stepped out the studio door, just as you had. He let out a sigh before he swiped and answered the call. “What do you want, Innie?” 

A thump responded along with a yell. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I.N? What are you-” 

“Put it down! Put the blade down! Stop it!” 

His heart suddenly turned to ice. “I.N?” He whispered. “What is hap-” The response that you gave nearly dropped him to his knees. 

“No one cares! Just let me die!” 

He suddenly felt like he was about to projectile vomit. His stomach churned and twisted and the world felt a little blurry. “What is happening?” He raised his voice and began to yell at the phone. “Jeongin?” 

“Alexa, speaker phone!” Jeongin cried out. “Chan, I can’t stop them! Please! I need you! I don’t know what to do! They won’t stop hurting themselves!” 

The world stopped tilting on its axis. The seconds froze in time. His breath caught in the echo-chamber of his lungs. “No,” he whispered. Tears pricked in his eyes and he suddenly rushed down the hall. 

“Don’t let them die! Do you hear me, Innie? Don’t let them die!” 

He flew out of the JYP building like a bat out of hell. He clutched his phone, now on its own speaker phone. This path that he used to practically skip after work because he was so excited to see you. Now it could potentially be the path to your corpse. 

“Fuck!” He cried out as the struggle continued on the other end of the phone. 

“C-Chan?” You croaked weakly. “I don’t wanna do it anymore. I-I can’t.” 

Guilt swallowed him whole. He could barely breathe as he ran. “Baby? Baby, can you hear me? It’s okay. I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?” 

“You hate me.” 

“I could never hate you. I took it out on you earlier and I’m sorry.” His head jerked as he made sure he was pursuing the correct street. His footsteps thudded on the pavement. 

“Listen to me, I need you to drop the blade. Can you do that to me? Listen to Innie and drop the blade. I’m coming, okay? I’m nearly there, just listen to my voice.” 

To Jeongin’s relief and Chan’s surprise, there was a soft clatter as you released the blade from your hand. You were exhausted after fighting with Jeongin and the blood was starting to become tacky against your skin. 

You hated the murky feeling that it left behind. Every movement of your wounded palm oozed more blood. Jeongin panted over your body. Your arms were pinned to your sides as he straddled you. 

His own body was painted in your blood. Bright red handprints smeared across his white shirt. His light pair of blue jeans seeped it up like a sponge. There were even fingerprints staining his cheek from where you had swiped your hand at him. 

“I’m almost there, I’m coming to the house right now. Where are you? What room?” 

“Bathroom!” 

Chan burst through the door and into the bathroom. His heart dropped when he found you pinned and nearly half unconscious. Blood was all over the floor. It was smeared against the bathroom cabinets and the tub. 

Jeongin never took his eyes off you. He was too afraid that you’d find the blade again and do something worse. Chan ended the call and stepped over the puddle of blood leading into the bathroom. 

He softly called your name and stepped beside you. Your eyes weakly met his. He felt like he was going to burst into tears. His knees buckled and he sank down beside you. He didn’t waste time grabbing a wet rag and shifting beside Jeongin. 

“Innie, I’ve got it from here, go call an ambulance.” 

Jeongin hesitated, but finally nodded and stepped out of the bathroom. Before he left, he kicked off his shoes, so he didn’t trample blood into the rest of the house. 

The realization of your situation sent shocks of electricity buzzing through your skull. “Fuck,” you muttered. Tears began to build up in your eyes and they trickled down your face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I-” 

“Shhh. It’s okay, it’s okay. Just try to save your strength, okay?” 

“I didn’t mean to,” your voice came out shrill. 

“I know, it’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not.” 

The lining of your lungs seemed to thicken as you struggled to breathe in. You squeezed your eyes shut, but it felt like breathing through a straw. Your brain had expanded with every wrong thought and now you were suffering. 

“Baby?” Chan whispered. He leaned forward closer to you and placed his hand over the razor blade, so you couldn’t see it. “What happened? What’s going on?” 

“Can’t breathe.” 

“Panic attack?” 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” 

“M-my dad,” your voice wavered. “I can’t-” 

“You don’t have to talk.” 

“Not a good relationship.” 

“Is that who called you earlier?” His eyebrows furrowed with worry. “I assumed, but I didn’t know for sure.” He reached down and pushed a bit of hair from your face. 

“He’s not good. H-he yells a-and-” You hiccuped, “abusive.” 

“Oh, honey…I didn’t know. I-I was just so frustrated earlier, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I didn’t mean to upset you and I-” 

“I don’t feel good,” your eyes drooped further. 

“Don’t do that. Don’t do that. Baby? Baby, listen to me!” Not caring about the blood, Chan cupped your face. “Don’t you dare give up! Stay with me!” 

The last thing you heard were his desperate pleas as your eyes rolled back into your head. 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

When you finally came back home from the hospital, Chan forbade you from going to your apartment alone. Instead, he was nice enough to open up his dorm for you to use temporarily. It wasn’t a permanent fix, but it was a manageable one for now. 

Ever since you regained consciousness, everything had been so foggy, but you remembered bits and pieces. You remembered the wine colored blood and the fear on Jeongin’s face. You remember being unable to breathe and the desperation of Chan’s voice. 

Maybe some part of you was glad that you couldn’t remember the entire thing. You weren’t sure that you wanted to remember traumatizing your boyfriend and your friend, at least, not the specific details. 

Your hospital stay had ended up turning into a week-long stay. It turns out the hospitals don’t play when it comes to suicide attempts. You didn’t even try to deny it. There was a tender hurt inside of you that you had no clue how to fix. 

It was a surprise when things that the mandated therapists were saying made sense. Sure, you knew things were wrong, but to hear validation from people, it made you feel a tiny bit better. 

When you left, you promised to come back. There were parts of you that really did want to heal from all of this. You never wanted to put anyone through this ever again. When clarity came through at the hospital, you realized you didn’t really want to die, you just wanted the self-hatred festered inside your being to stop. 

You wanted the negative energy to cease and you wanted to be loved. You wanted to be healed in ways you didn’t know how to heal. You wanted a lot of things and the therapists had promised that if you came back, they could start to help you turn things around, but you had to consciously make that decision. 

You yourself had to focus on your own healing. It was hard and it was difficult. Healing is one of the hardest things a person can do for themselves, but it can be so rewarding. You don’t have to let your demons win. 

“Fight back. Raise hell. Don’t let them win.” It was something another patient had said during a mandated group therapy. “I’m tired of letting the negative thoughts in my brain win. I want to live. I don’t want to just survive, I want to live.” 

The more the people talked, the more you realized that you had some of what they were missing. Sure, your parents weren’t the best, but you had friends. You had a significant other. You had little things that some people craved. 

For most of your time spent at the hospital, you were lost in your thoughts. You had barely uttered a few words to Chan. When Jeongin came in, you nearly collapsed into tears apologizing over and over again for scaring him. 

He insisted it was fine, but you knew it wasn’t. Nothing you could do could ever take back the damage that you had given him. The nightmares, the trauma, it’d be something he might have to live with forever. Sure, it’d fade, but for now, it stuck to the back of his head like glue. 

“So…” Chan’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. The two of you were standing in the dorm living room. He had sent the rest of the guys over to the other dorm, so you could settle in. “Welcome to your new temporary home.” 

This place really was your home. You had been here time after time again. These walls just might have known you better than your own apartment did. You glanced around and nodded. “Thank you.” 

“I cleared out my room, so you can have it.” 

“We’re not sharing?” 

“I didn’t think you’d want to.” 

Your hands tugged at the sleeves of your long sleeve shirt. Your fingers curled into them. The damage to your arm was so bad that doctors had a hard time fixing all the damage. They had also been concerned about infection since the wounds were so deep and there were multiple of them. 

You played with the hems trying to find words to say. “I’m sorry,” you finally got out, “for everything.” 

“It’s not your fault.” 

“It is entirely my fault. I don’t know how to deal with things in a healthy way. I’ve been handling a lot on my own and I broke down. I snapped in the worst way possible. The doctors called it a nervous breakdown.” 

“You know I’m not mad at you, right?” 

“Maybe you should be.” 

He shook his head, “I could never be mad at you.” 

You lowered yourself to the faux leather couch behind you and slowly took in a deep breath. “I have a lot of issues and I’ve always known they were there. I just…” You shrugged, “I didn’t think something like this would happen. I’ve struggled with self-harm before, but I snapped.” 

He sat across from you and shifted his body to face you. “I’m really sorry I yelled at you that day. I shouldn’t have ye-” 

“You were stressed and upset, it happens sometimes.” 

“That doesn’t make it right.” 

“The therapist says I have parental issues from my father and it has affected me in a variety of ways. In fact, she said it’s why I’m probably dating you.” 

“What’s wrong with our relationship?” 

“She said I need to stop leaning on you to fill the void that my dad left behind and I hate that she’s right.” 

“Oh…” His face fell. “So does that mean we’re breaking up?” 

“Do you want to?” 

He shook his head. “I don’t, but what about you? What do you want to do?” 

“I don’t wanna break up either.” 

“So…” 

“So I’ll attend therapy and work on my issues. I’ll attempt to stop relying on you to make me happy because it’s not healthy.” 

“Yeah…” 

There was an awkwardness between you. Neither knew what to say and nobody wanted to harm the other. Chan finally broke the silence. “Can I hold you?” 

You shifted and crawled over towards him. He was careful of the stitches in your palm and in your opposite arm. You curled into his lap and he pulled you to his chest. Your head leaned against the familiar thump of his heartbeat. “I missed you,” you mumbled. 

“I miss you too.” His lips kissed the top of your head. Your sweet scent engulfed him. He leaned his chin on your head and shut his eyes. The warmth of your body was enough to set his soul ablaze. 

“My dad wasn’t a good man,” you finally mustered the courage to talk about it. “He called me at the studio and I didn’t read the caller ID. I just wanted to see you after a long day. When I left and went outside, he just started yelling and getting upset.”

“He’s verbally abusive and a hothead. Ever since I was a kid, he gets angry easily and he can’t control it. He throws things, he swings, and he’d destroy my things. I lived my life in so much fear because he’d threaten to disown me. My family never did anything about it, they just let it happen.” 

Chan’s hand went to your back. He soothingly rubbed it while you spoke. “I had no idea.” 

“I felt like I shouldn’t talk about it because some people don’t have fathers. I should be grateful that I even have a father and I-” 

“You don’t have to be grateful to someone who frightens you and makes you hate yourself. That’s not what a father should be. I probably enhanced your fight or flight instinct when I yelled at you, I’m so sorry.” 

“Every time I talk to him, I feel miserable. All of them, I’m so angry at all of them.” 

“You don’t have to continue putting yourself through any of that. You don’t have to talk to the people that make you miserable. Please don’t keep putting yourself through all this distress, baby.” 

“I just want to be happy.” 

“And I have no doubt that you’ll get there soon, sweetheart. When you’re feeling at your worst, you don’t have to turn to self-harm. You can come find me, yeah? I’ll always be here for you. Now that I know what’s wrong, I’ll be sure to never act like I did that day. I don’t want to lose you.” 

His arms tightened around your body and his lips found the top of your head again. “You mean so much to me. I can’t imagine a life without you. I’d be devastated if you weren’t here. If you ever feel like that, come find me and I’ll distract you.” 

“But that’s such a burden for you to carry.” 

“It’s not a burden if I love you.” 

You finally picked your head up and looked at him with teary eyes. His own eyes were similar as they looked at you. Without asking, you leaned forward and your lips connected. 

It was pure bliss…until it wasn’t. The front door to the dorm slammed open. The crack of it into the wall sent both of you pulling away from each other. 

Hwang Hyunjin sashayed into the room with a pair of sunglasses, a towel around his neck, and a blue pool noodle over his shoulders. “Surprise, bitches!” 

“Hyung, you have no manners,” Jeongin grumbled as he stepped in behind him. When his eyes found you, he beamed. “Hi!” He waved excitedly and rushed towards the two of you. 

Minho stepped inside, grabbed the pool noodle from Hyunjin, and bonked him on the head with it. “You insensitive fuck! I told you they couldn’t swim due to stitches!” 

“Ow!” 

Minho bonked him again. “You’re lucky you’re getting a pool noodle to the head and not a fist to your pretty face.” He glanced over at you and grinned. “Sup?” 

Chan sighed and kept his arms clamped around your back. “I’m so sorry about them. I didn’t have time to tell you that I invited all of them over to hang out for a game night and maybe some movies. We can order your favorite foods and w-” 

“Hyung, look at all my snacks!” 

“Mine too!” 

Han and Felix walked inside with grocery bags full of snacks. They wasted zero time going to the coffee table and dumping them out. The pair beamed happily as they waited for your approval and you managed a soft smile. 

“You two waste zero time making messes, don’t you? Hey,” Seungmin called out and he nodded towards you. “Glad you’re not dead. I can’t wait to-” 

The sound of Changbin screaming your name at the top of his lungs caused your eyes to widen in shock. Thunderous footsteps sounded from the porch and rushed inside. Changbin rushed in grinning with his arms outstretched. He was getting closer and closer until a pool noodle slammed into his face. 

He stumbled back dazed and Minho rolled his eyes. He handed the pool noodle back to Hyunjin and shook his head. “You are all unbelievable. You have zero manners.” 

“Strike,” Seungmin mumbled beneath his breath. 

You snorted which caused him to glance over and grin. 

“This is okay with you, right?” Chan glanced down at you. “If it’s too much, I can ask them to go back and I-” 

You shook your head, “it’s fine. I’m not sure about participating in games, because uh…” You gently shifted your bandaged arm hidden beneath your long sleeves. “Movie night and food sounds wonderful.” 

“Ya-hoo!” Changbin cheered. “Let’s get this party started.” He grinned and rubbed his hands together. “Oh, snacks!” 

“Ah, ah, ah!” Minho ripped the pool noodle from Hyunjin’s hand and bonked him on the head again. A scowl filled Changbin’s face. “Let the guest pick first.” 

“Sorry,” he mumbled. 

“Hit him one more time and he’s going to lose the last brain cell he has,” Seungmin complained. 

“Yeah!” Hyunjin agreed as he crossed his arms over his chest. Minho bonked Hyunjin over the head. He groaned and slumped into the recliner behind him. “Channie, hyung, he’s beating me up! He’s killing my brain cells too!” 

“You idiot,” I.N huffed, “you don’t even have any to lose!” 

“Hey!” 

“So how have you been?” Felix asked as he got on his knees beside the couch. “Do you want a snack? Do you want to play Animal Crossing?” 

“Or we could watch an anime?” Han offered with a cheeky smile. “Whatever you’re up for, we’re down with.” 

“Exactly, whatever you want, babe.” Chan rubbed your back with some reassurance. “The guys and I got you.” 

“Can I just observe you interacting with each other? There’s plenty of humor in that and I-” 

“Oh, sure!” Minho beamed. He lifted up the pool noodle with a smirk. “Sit back and watch me play whack-a-mole.” 

“Wait a minute!” 

“Hey!” 

“Don’t you dare!” 

Without another word, Minho grinned as he started to take turns whacking the guys’ heads.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lina-linny @straykidsstanforeverandever @seungnishi

Masterlist

Taglist and inbox rules

[ghoulsbounty]

which of the goggins gang do you think prefers to be praised and which do you think like to be degraded?

oh, boy! i could go on about this for days...

baby billy

strongly prefers praise in a relationship. often feels undervalued by his family which has left him with a deep-seated need for constant affirmation. his bravado is a front for how inadequate he truly feels, so he needs you to recognise and celebrate his talents and achievements, and give him the validation he craves. 

loves to be adored. growing up in the spotlight spoiled him with the amount of love he received, but now that doesn't come as easy to him. let him know how enamoured you are with him through words of affirmation or touch, and he will be content for a while.

it's less about reassurance and more about confirmation for what he believes to be true; that even at his age, he is the best. let him know how good he makes you feel, especially in comparison to men younger than him.

there is a part of him that finds playful degradation exciting, but only in the bedroom. he sometimes enjoys light teasing and role-playing that still makes him feel in control without crossing into genuinely hurtful territory.

he prefers when the degradation presents him a challenge, rather than attacking his character. call him an old man and ask if he can keep up with you, it will ignite his need to prove himself and he won't stop until you're singing his praises as you cum.

bonus: cock worship. do it and he will keep you around forever.

boyd crowder 

although he craves validation, degradation feels more familiar and almost comforting in its predictability. however, he has developed a thick skin from the years of disrespect and neglect growing up, especially from his father, and he doesn't take kindly to degrading words against his character.

initially finds it difficult to accept praise from you, he's so used to betrayal and often questions the sincerity behind your compliments.

eventually learns to accept that you value him for the man that he is. acknowledge his intelligence and his strategic mind, or tell him that he makes you feel safe, and he will be putty in your hands.

he craves loyalty and adoration from you. he strives to be a protector while also using your presence to challenge himself into being a better man. praising him makes him feel desired and capable of being the man you deserve.

only wants to do right by you and would never even raise his voice, but if you decided to degrade him (past the point of teasing banter) he'd tear you down with a calculated, calm voice until you're apologising and on your knees for him.

bonus: body worship. he can do this for hours, please let him.

lee russell

both his upbringing and career have been marked by a fear of inadequacy. he thrives on compliments and positive reinforcement to bolster his fragile ego. 

degradation is extremely damaging for him. any negative remarks or criticism, no matter how small, is enough to trigger his defensive behaviour and lead to an explosive outcome. 

however, in the bedroom he does like to experiment in light degradation as long as it is accompanied by praise or rewards. lee is a brat and will fight for dominance, but if you manage to get him to submit, he enjoys if you deny him or make him beg.

tell him that he's big and makes you feel full, or alternatively you can tell him that you can't feel enough of him and he will fuck you harder just to prove a point.

don't push it too far though, because lee has little patience and a lot of rage. too many comments about his pathetic whimpers and needy attitude will spill over into him taking back control and delivering a punishment.

he feels more at ease knowing that you can dish out tough love when the moment calls for it as that aligns with his understanding of a relationship, but you best follow it with a tender kiss.

bonus: power play and brat taming kink. lee can be a pushy bottom.

wade felton

having been through the emotional turmoil of losing his spouse, along with navigating the difficult world of dating, wade deeply craves affirmation and positive reinforcement from you.

he values open communication and mutual respect, and he thrives in a relationship where love and appreciation are openly expressed.

confident in the bedroom and believes in his ability to please, but likes you to tell him your thoughts and feelings. give him verbal instructions on how you want to be pleased and he will do so diligently.

praise is something that makes him a little flustered at first, but he finds himself purposely trying to coax more from you. tell him how attractive he is, how good he makes you feel, and he will be a whimpering, eager mess.

while he might be open to playful banter or light teasing, any form of degradation would likely make him uncomfortable. the same goes for if you ask him to degrade you.

bonus: soft and vanilla. will eat you out for hours, tell him he's doing good.

cooper howard/the ghoul

his transformation into a ghoul has left him with deep insecurities about his appearance and worth, although he refuses to acknowledge it. because of this, it will take him a long time to feel comfortable enough to let you see him naked, if he ever even does. compliments and affirmations will help in moving this along, but he won't ever truly believe that you could see past the ghoulification, and too much praise will seem forced to him.

in the bedroom, cooper’s needs are complex. his intimate desires involve a form of degradation that aligns with his deep-seated insecurities. when he fucks you, he enjoys pushing with a combination of pointed remarks and well-timed thrusts until he teases cruel words from your reluctant lips.

he wants to hear you admit to feeling ashamed for letting him, a ghoul, be inside you. he needs to hear your disgust at the thought of him filling you, even though you don't genuinely believe it and will keen when you feel his release coat your walls. it gives him a sense of control and a twisted validation in hearing you demean both yourself and him, because he can't quite believe that you want him.

he knows your words are drawn out by his actions rather than your own feelings, but it allows him to explore his deepest vulnerabilities while simultaneously feeling safe knowing that you are there, reacting to every touch. 

it gives an emotional release that he doesn't allow himself otherwise, and for a short while after he will let you shower him with affection until he closes himself off again.

bonus: self-denial. won't cum until you give him what he wants to hear.

taglist:

@its-in-the-woods @lolaalee @megangovier @coolranchdavidian @justme12200

@ivyinthesun @ladygreylavender11 @crowley--aziraphale @its-a-show-stoppin-number

@muschimuschi @serrantsaloto @catclaw1 @staarboyyy @shinydixon

@spookysquids @inthemercifuldark @itsyellow @caspersshadow @honey-tree-evil-eye

[yandereforme]

how would the yandere bat fam react to y/n having meltdowns (e.g kicking and screaming and sobbing ect)

TW: mentions of self harm and meltdowns, sedatives,

That depends entirely on why.

If it’s because of something like the hot and cold treatment, and you throwing their treatment back in their face? Then they will be a lot more patient than if you wanted to leave.

Bruce won’t react outwardly. On the inside? He’s beating himself up for everything he’s put you through. He feels like a failure, and will try to compensate with gifts and attention. He can’t fix the past, but he can make sure he doesn’t do it again. If you are a danger to yourself? He will try to talk you down, but if he can’t, he will knock you out. You will be on suicide watch until he thinks he can trust you again.

Dick will feel guilty regardless, and the only way he will step in is if you are in danger of hurting yourself. He’s angry at himself, you needed him! You are obviously acting out just like he did! Get ready to be infantilized to the extreme, and not have any alone time to yourself for a while. If you hurt yourself, she will be worse. Do you want be allowed to even stand, he will carry you from place to place. He didn’t do anything for you then, so he’s going to do everything for you now.

Jason will take it all without complaint. He knows he messed up and he will take the punishment. You need yo get it out of your system. If you are in any danger of hurting yourself, he will stop it in a second though. You can hurt him, but you will never be allowed to hurt yourself.

Tim won’t take anything you say as anything more than hysteria. He’s such a delusional yandere that he’s genuinely confused as to why you are doing this. Hewill get you any comfort items you have, but he will not know what to say, and may end up setting you off again. The second you are in danger of hurting yourself though? He will knock you out without hesitation.

Damian will flounder. He has no idea what to do, since this will be the first time he sees you like this. He will most likely just let you go through it, silently standing by, and will bring you water and food that he knows you enjoy once you stop. If you start hurting yourself, he will instinctively stop you. He’ll probably restrain you, and talk to you like a spooked animal. I can honestly see him being the best with you when you’re like that.

If you were having a meltdown about wanting to leave the manner, they will do the same things, but be a lot less guilty and a lot more firm. You almost died the last time you left. You aren’t allowed to leave. They have to make up for what they’ve done to you. Also, Damien will definitely sedate you if he thinks you want to leave.

You wanted this love for so long. You’ve got it now. They love you. Now be a good sibling/kid, and don’t try to leave. It’s too dangerous for you outside. They are giving you everything you wanted and will buy you whatever you’d like. You just have to stay with them. 

Edit: Thank you for giving me this request. I’ve been having trouble writing these days, but your request gave me some much needed serotonin, so I was able to finish this and a few other things. Please send me more requests, and comment on my posts more. I crave validation lol

[imagining-in-the-margins]

I feel like so many people have a different interpretation of how Spencer Reid would handle sex. There’s the classic nerdy spencer who keeps stuttering and doesn’t know how to do *it* but knows everything technical, and there’s the mega dom spencer who knows exactly what he’s doing, and everything in between. I’m curious to know what you think is most accurate to how he would be? This can also change from first season to last, etc. I’m just curious what u think!

S.R. Sexual Headcanons (NSFW, 18+)

Early Seasons

Shy and slightly insecure, but eager to please

Would spend a lot of time on foreplay because it is the best way to ensure his partner’s pleasure (and it’s a fun kind of science)

Prefers an emotionally attached partner since sex requires vulnerability he is loath to give

Has a lot of things he wants to try, but he is too embarrassed to bring them up, so he’ll wait for his partner to suggest it (very nonjudgmental)

As he gets older, he becomes more confident and lighthearted in bed

Understands the importance of aftercare and insists it’s his responsibility to hold you (he is actually just a cuddlebug with a really good excuse)

Interested in the power dynamics of kink culture but averse to it because he lacks the self-confidence

Preferences/Priorities: Perfecting oral sex techniques, kissing erogenous zones, sensory seeking activities (experimenting with light/hard touches, but not pain).

Middle Seasons

Brat and Switch Era

More willing to have fleeting sexual relationships

Beginning to feel confident in his sexual identity, more willing to ask for what he wants

Enjoys roleplay, more intense power dynamics, and sensory-heavy foreplay (although still loath to grant true vulnerability)

Confident in his ability to please his partner

Seeks out relationships where he can feel challenged in some way (intellectually, physically, emotionally)

Views sex as one of many ways to establish and express intimacy, would easily forego sex for an intellectually stimulating activity (and loves them as foreplay)

Preferences/Priorities: Ensuring his partner is open/comfortable, advocating for his own pleasure, having fun while having sex, exploring deeper rooted sexual proclivities

Late Seasons

Just wants to feel desired for who he is (he is so tired)

Seeking companionship but unwilling to have long term sexual relationships without emotional vulnerability on part of all parties

Struggles with the darker parts of himself and requires reassurance from his partner (both that he is gentle and strong/“a good man”)

Less likely to engage in heavy roleplay, established “scenes” are rare

A more intuitive lover that adapts to emotional and physical shifts, but very cautious to escalate

Craves physical and emotional intimacy before and after sex (he requires aftercare and is so, so touchstarved)

Occasionally uses sex as an outlet for his frustrations, but usually would prefer to ground himself through sentimentality

Preferences/Priorities: Feeling close to his partner, maintaining boundaries, ensuring the overall experience is enjoyable and everyone involved feels safe

What do you think? Sound off in the comments/reblogs and let me know!

*These lists are just for fun and based purely on my perception of his character. Outside of the variety of my fanfiction portrayals, this is what I consider my “truest” perception of his character. No one characterization is “correct” because there is no knowledge of his sexual personality in canon. Heavy submissive/dominant portrayals are, in my view, valid and arguable for any stage of his character. Do not read anything I’ve said as a condemnation of another headcanon. This is all in good fun!

[givemefevrr]

Enhypen as Subs (OT6 only)

Pairings: sub!members x fem!reader

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Heeseung

We all know he has a praise kink, it’s cannon at this point. This boy would just melt if you told him he was doing a good job.

His moans would be so pretty, because we all know, being able to sing means he definitely has a good voice. He wouldn’t be loud though, he would be on the quieter side, like the polite boy he is, but he for sure does loose control every now and then.

He would love having his nipples played with–he'd be such a sensitive little thing, begging you to keep going and that he feels so good.

He would call you mommy on accident, muffled by pillows or your skin, and not even remember when you bring it up later, feeling humiliated about it.

Heeseung would be the type of sub who just wants to be taken care of and showered with love. He would beg you to peg him and he’d whine into the pillows as you do so. And when he's sub!topping, he would want you to ride him while he nuzzles into your neck or chest, holding onto every part of you he can.

He would want to make you feel good so badly, but he can’t do two things at once. He probably gets overstimulated very easily. He’s legit a pillow princess when both topping or bottoming (which I guess lives up to his nickname, Princess). But he’d make up for it afterwards if you didn’t cum and would eat you out just the way you like it because he just wants to be the good boy he knows he is. He’s just so sweet honestly.

Jake

Don’t even get me started on this man. It could go one of two ways, Jake could either be the brattiest sub or the sweetest sub ever. But one thing's for sure, he is needy as hell which overrules pretty much everything.

He may start off with slow and soft kisses, wanting to savor every moment, but he can't help but rut against you like a desperate little puppy. His sex drive is endless and he can cum over and over again, but still beg for more.

Bro would not be subtle whatsoever. He’d be LOUD loud, letting out whiny moans left and right, basically screaming curses, and he wouldn’t give a shit. In fact, he might even enjoy the idea of being heard by others.

Now, when he's feeling bratty, he becomes a total menace. Not in a teasing, tempting way, but more like borderline annoying. He'll push all your buttons and run you ragged until you're begging him to let you touch him. It's all just a game to him, and at that point, he's just messing with you for his own amusement.

He’ll ask to take things slow but he’ll end up humping anything he can come in contact with until he gets his cock in you. Sure, he might be up for getting pegged every now and then, but let's be real, he loves pussy too much to pass it up.

Let's not forget his insane oral fixation— this man would give the best head you've ever had. It's like a mind-blowing, life-changing experience. He loves to look up at you while he's doing it, hoping for some hair pulling or praise because he craves your validation, even though he knows he's doing an amazing job.

Sunghoon

Okay despite my first post, I think Sunghoon could actually be a really good sub. He's just such a sweet and considerate guy, and that quality would definitely translate into bed.

He's the type to shower you with affection and want nothing more than to please you beyond measure. Unlike Heeseung and Jake, Sunghoon would beg for you to use him for your own pleasure. He loves the feeling of being at your mercy and would eagerly give control over to you.

This possibly shifts over into more service!top territory, but the sub is definitely still there. He enjoys giving up control and letting his partner take charge. He'll never make demands or ask for something, but instead he'll wait for you to tell him what to do. He likes the feeling of not being in control of himself for once.

He would love to finger you with those pretty hands of his because you love it. He loves anything you love. If you love the weirdest shit ever, so would he, just because it makes you happy. He’s not even the most into pegging, but if you wanted to make him fall apart on your fingers, he’d let you.

Sunghoon would likely be more on the quiet and calm side, but not because he's shy like Heeseung. Instead, he's focused on paying attention to your needs and reactions. He loves seeing you feel good and it brings him joy to be the source of that pleasure.

Jay

I'll be honest, I have a hard time picturing Jay as a sub. But if he were, I imagine he would also be head over heels for you and would do anything to make you happy.

He would constantly crave physical contact and would be the clingy type who wants to be pressed against you all night long. He would even whine if you try to separate from him.

Contrast to Sunghoon, he wouldn’t wait for you to tell him what to do every time—he’s more desperate and beggy than Sunghoon is. If he wants to touch you, he’ll beg for it. If he wants to eat you out, he’ll beg for it. He’ll take initiative for himself and beg you to ride his face.

He would be more reserved than Sunghoon too. He may not be as open to letting you try new things on him, but when it comes to trying new things on you, he'll do you want him to.

He would be open to being tied down though, and quite likes it when he gets the chance to be. He would be quieter too generally, and not make much noise—but that depends on the situation. When he’s tied down and has no control over what happens, his inhibitions die and the moans flow right out.

He would want to see your face at all times, always needing to make sure you’re okay and happy. Again, just another sweet guy.

Sunoo

While Jake may seem like one of the only bratty ones, but Sunoo would take it to a whole new level. He would be the brattiest brat ever and tbh, it's great. It’s not annoying, and he would do it in a way that, unlike Jake, would be tempting and teasing.

He would initiate it with small touches and when you eventually react, he would act all innocent. He loves it when you take control and would like things a little rougher too. And we all know he would be loud asf, as his singing voice is no joke. So, you can expect him to let the whole building know how good you're making him feel.

He’s definitely more of the sub that just wants to be taken care of. Another pillow princess indeed. His thought process is that you wouldn't do anything to him that you wouldn't enjoy yourself. And let's be real, he's probably right. And with that reasoning doesn’t think he’ll have to do much work in return.

The whole the brat persona would hold up throughout the whole experience. He would tease and push your buttons, knowing just how to turn you on—like whining phrases he knows you like or pushing you away because it’s “too much”— but then giggles soon after upon seeing how worked up it gets you. He would be able to suppress his reactions when certain things he’s into (maybe if you degrade him a little) affect him, but you can see through him, with the slight falter in his expression and a gulp of his Adams Apple as he tries to ground himself.

Afterwards, Sunoo would beg for aftercare cuddles and snuggles. He would be so sweet, endearing and needy for love and kisses.

Jungwon

With his hardworking and dedicated nature, I can see Jungwon being a service!top sometimes. But I think with him being so hardworking and dedicated, he would find it hard for him to wind down normally, so subbing would probably be his way to be able to do so.

Jungwon would probably be a bit similar to Heeseung in the way that he would turn into a full on sub—like just lay there and whine while you bounce on his cock type of stuff. He would be the type of person to fall into a subspace really easily, as he’s stressed out so much all the time.

He would just want you to take care of him and hold him and give him whatever you’re willing to give. He would be quiet for you too, only able to make out small punctuated moans on every beat.

He’s the type to crawl into bed with you and immediately lock onto your lips, clinging to you, looking halfway to falling asleep and halfway to falling under into a subspace, begging you to make him feel good and to make him forget about his day.

He would also likely have some sort of kink for praise or affirmation, as it would make him feel all comfortable and giddy inside knowing that all of his work and effort is being seen and appreciated.

Jungwon would be a whore for sleepy sex, he would beg you to do it in the morning, if not to just let him slip into a subspace and eat you out to mentally prepare himself for another hard day.

On times where he’s not in a subspace, he would be so eager to please you, he would go to above and beyond to make sure you love every second with him, whether it be sucking extra hard on your clit or fucking into you faster, he’ll do it with out you even asking, waiting for you’re words of approval soon after he does so.

═════════ ⋆★⋆ ═════════

[novathestarrygalaxy]

Enhypen finding out that you're a dom (OT6)

Word Count:2850

Warnings:Explicit, Sub/Dom Dynamics, low self-esteem, anxiety, pet play, porn, going through S/O's laptop, punishments, Mommy kink, rough sex, Every member's reaction is written in different style since it's my first time writing reactions and it's kinda experimental, Minor DNI

So, like, imagine. Just imagine. You're in a relationship with one or more Enhypen members. But you being you, the introverted and shy person you are, don't tell him that you're a dom; fearing that your boyfriend might judge you. Your anxiety causes even the smallest might to seem really scary. Even when you know that your boyfriend(s) is the sweetest and accepting, you couldn't help worrying. So when it comes to intimacy, you pretend that you're a sub. You let them dominate you, even though you would've felt more comfortable being on top. You have always been the dominant one every time. You used to go to the night club and have weekly one night stands. But this was different. This is your boyfriend(s). What if your one night stands judged you? It didn't matter. It's not like you'll ever meet them again. Even if you do, what will happen? Nothing. But your boyfriend(s) is someone you crave validation from. You don't want to upsetthem even in the slightest. If you embarrass yourself in front of them, you'll live the rest of your life with regrets. So you just endure your sufferings just to not get judged. Until.....

Heeseung

He comes home and jumps on you. But as the night goes on, he realises that you aren't being as responsive as you usually would be. He waves it off as tiredness. But he soon realises that it's not tiredness. Heeseung being the guy he is, he thinks of this as you trying to be bratty and rile him up. As a punishment, he makes you be the dom one while he just lies there, doing nothing. Even when you're riding him, he isn't fucking you, making your high prolonged. But you completely dominate him throughout the night. The unenthusiasm from before all gone. As you guys finish and are just cuddling in each other's arms, he realises something.

"Baby?" He asks as he strokes your hair. You look at him with an hum.He looks at you."Baby, be honest. Do you enjoy being the dominant one in bed rather than the submissive one?" As he sees the blush creep up on your cheeks, yet no sign of protest, he pulls you closer to him."Awww, baby, why didn't you tell me?" You mumble while burying your face in his chest."You'd judge me..." He kisses the top of your head. He continues stroking your hair."Never, Love. I would never judge you."

From that day on, you guys took turns being the dom. Soon you realised that Hee had a cute, little praise kink and you completely used that to your advantage. He wouldn't be able to walk after the night you dominated him.

Jay

Please. We all know this man is a hard dom. He would rile you up so much....But one day, he feels too frustrated from work, and asks you if you can help him. Being the helpful girlfriend, you try to act like a service!top. But Jay is quick to notice that you're acting more like a dom. He never thought you'd dominate him. You were always so submissive and- suddenly, realisation hits him like a ton of bricks. How had he not seen it before?

He holds your hand rather tightly with a worried expression, making you look at him. "Jay? Is everything alright?"He sighs. "I should be the one asking you that." The confusion is evident on your face, so he takes a deep breath and continues,"It might sound absurd, but I have a feeling that You've been acting as a sub all these time. You have complete dom energy. Tell me the truth, Babe." Being caught, you hang your head low. You mutter,"I'm sorry." He pulls you closer and kisses you softly."No need to be sorry. But why did you act as something you weren't?" You look at him with a guilty expression."I thought you'd judge me...Think of me as weird. Many of my exes did." He cups your face."I'm not like your exes, (Name). Isn't that why we've come so far? From now on, no more secrets, okay?" You nod with a smile on your face."Okay."

Jay was surprised to find out throughout the night, you were even more rough than him. He wasn't gonna lie. Maybe being dominated by you felt good. Better than him being the dominant one....But not that he's gonna admit it anytime soon.

Jake

This cute puppy always treated you like you were made of glass, as if you'd break if he went even a bit rough on you. But he wouldn't mind going a bit further if you ever ask him to. But boy loved experimenting with new things. He had a new plan in mind.

You were just pecefully reading a book, but puppy wasn't gonna have it. He quietly stepped into the room and purred in your ears. You smile and put the book down. As you look at your boyfriend, your jaw drops. He is wearing puppy ears, a tail and a fucking collar with a nametag. Your eyes rake his body up and down. He smirked."Like my new fit, darling?"You nod hungrily.He smirks and puts a hand on your shoulder."How about you dominate me, your adorable puppy, tonight?"Your mind suddenly did a cartwheel and you took a rash decision. Now or never."Jake?" You ask nervously.He nods and flashes you a smile."Yes, Darling?"You take a deep breath."I'm actually a dom."Jake takes a few moments to comprehend what you said."Wha-You're a dom? But I thought you were a sub-"You cut him off."I know you think that I'm a sub. But I just acted like that. I wasn't ready to tell you...yet. I'm sorry."Jake sighs and sits beside you. He wraps his arms around you as he sees your guilty expression."Shhhh, Darling, it's okay. You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm just happy that you trust me enough to open up. Now, shall we continue?"You smile and jump on him.

Unnecessary to say, he loved being the submissive one. Maybe he also discovered his sub tendencies with you. And unlike him, you weren't a soft one. You could leave him a mess. And he loved it. Maybe he's a submissive puppy after all.

Sunghoon

This man here is another hard dom. Maybe not as rough as Jay, but he could leave you a wreck. But he also loves to experiment a lot. Name anything, and he has or will do to you. But being the unpredictable guy he is, it didn't surprise you when he revealed that he was actually a switch. So when he asked you to be the dominant one, who were you to refuse?

"Mommy!" He cries out in pain and pleasure. You've been going at it for over an hour, and you don't show any signs of stopping. As he reaches his high for the fifth time, that's when you get off of him and collapse next to him. As he cuddles up to you, an unspoken agreement goes between you two. Maybe taking turns won't be a bad thing.

Since then, you guys always take turns. Sunghoon Had realised that night that you liked being the dominant one. He finds it incredibly hot. But he never forgets to tease you about the fact that you did hide it from him for a long time, which always ends up in him being a complete mess under you. And he's a total pillow princess.

Your Pillow Princess.

Sunoo

My boy's a total sub. Imagine how bummed out he was after your first night when he thought you were also a sub. He endured it for the next few nights you guys got intimate, but he soon realised that he couldn't endure being the dom anymore.He approached you one night.

You smile as you feel your clingy boyfriend hugging you from behind. You put your phone down and hug him back, only to find him pouting. You squeeze his cheeks and cup his face before asking,"What's wrong, Baby?" Sunoo whines at the contact and leans his face more on your hand. You boop his nose and give it a small kiss."Are you angry at me? Did I do something wrong?" Sunoo just melts and buries his face in your chest. You pull him closer and stroke his hair. He says something, which is muffled since his face is buried in your chest. You put a finger under his chin and gently raise his face up. You smile at him."What did you say?" Sunoo pouts and starts whining,"I hate you..." You freeze for a moment, before pulling him closer to you. You play with his hair and ask with a worried look,"Why, baby? What did I do wrong?" Sunoo looks like he's about to cry."You always make me do all the work!" You're really confused. You never let him do all the work. You guys always split chores and everything. You never complain when he sleeps early, tired from practice and you have to do some of his chores. Then what does he mean by that? You keep playing with his hair, silently gesturing for him to continue.Sunoo sighs and looks at with you puppy eyes, knowing that the last sentence came put wrong."I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that...I meant that, when we're getting intimate. You always make me top...But I feel way more comfortable being a sub." You stare at your boyfriend for a second, who was looking at you with the world's most adorable puppy eyes and pout, before breaking into a big smile.You squeeze your baby's cheeks and kiss his forehead."Why didn't you tell me before, Sun?" Sunoo's pout grows wider. He threw you an accusing look and said,"Because you never picked up my hints! I thought you were ignoring them..." You hold him close to you and rub his back. You murmur against his ears,"Sorry, Baby. I thought you would be like my exes. They liked being the dominant one. And can I be honest with you?" He looks up at you curiously and nods."About what?" You take a deep breath and gather the courage before speaking up."I'm actually a dom." Oh, the look on the boy's face after you explain everything to him. He instantly demands that you make it up to him...And you do.

Honestly, his pretty and loud moans would be enough to get you to cum. And Sunoo is another pillow princess....And a brat. He'll annoy you so much till you snap and fuck him to oblivion.

Jungwon

My man's a switch. He wouldn't mind being the dominant one, but occasionally he would get frustrated, knowing that he couldn't get into his subspace, since he thought of you as a sub. He wanted to make sure you get the most pleasure, so he also hid his sub tendencies. But he would never take out his frustrations on you. He's too sweet for that. Till he finds the porns and fanfics saved on your laptop.He never checked your laptop. He knows the password, but he still doesn't touch it without reason. He knew that you are a private person. He knows that You wouldn't mind him seeing your search history, accounts and stuff- But also that you'd be happier if he doesn't check.But one day, he has to use your laptop because his is broken and has to be fixed. Out of boredom and a bit of loneliness-since you've been busy the past few days- be decided to jerk off to some porn. But when he tries to log into his account, he finds your account already logged in. Out of curiosity, he checks your porn history and the things you've saved. And, oh boy, after seeing the things you've saved, his face becomes as red as a tomato. You were into the same kinks as him too? You didn't mind being a dom? You wanted to be a dom?Even though he doesn't want to check more of your stuff, his curiosity gets the better of him and he tries to check out your tumblr and stuff. But after seeing the posts you've made and liked, even the tip of his ears are red. He quickly gets out and puts your laptop back in its place, his face still flushed.

Throughout the day, he tries to pretend that everything's normal. But he's always red in the face, fidgets more than usual, can't look you in the eyes and stutters a lot. It doesn't take you too long to take notice of his unusual behaviour. After dinner, you sit down and relax on your bed, when Jungwon comes and sits next to you. You try to initiate a conversation, but he's still acting weirdly. Worried, you wrap your arms around your boyfriend and ask,"Is everything alright, Kitty?" Jungwon is just snuggling in your arms, but his face becomes flustered as soon as he hears your question.You caress his cheeks and pepper his face with kisses, trying to get him to open up. But he just gets even more red. "Baby~" You coo, trying to coax him into telling you what's wrong. But when that also goes down the drain, you sigh to yourself. You have to be cruel to your poor baby. You take a deep breath and start the attack. Jungwon's body shudders with laughter as you start tickling him. He tried hard not to laugh, but it's too hard. He keeps laughing, and seeing his laughter, you also start laughing."Hmm? Is my baby cheered up now? Mine telling me what's wrong?" As he doesn't answer and keeps laughing, you tickle him even more."Is that a no? Okay. Keep laughing then." Jungwon shakes his head violently as he keeps laughing. His mouth and stomach hurt from laughing. He manages to Choke out."Mmmph! 'M S-sorry! I-I'll t-tell y-you!" As soon as upu hear that, you stop your tickle attacks and pull your boyfriend close. You laugh as his face turns a deeper shade of red as he starts speaking."I....I might've done something wrong." You raise a brow."Something wrong?" Jungwon nods, a guilty look in his face."I went through your laptop,"he confesses."I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." You're a little shocked and disappointed. Seeing your face, Jungwon's lips quiver."I'm sorry...Please Don't be mad..I didn't mean to...I was just trying to do something and I found out one of your accounts and just couldn't hold back the curiosity to check your other accounts-" Tears start welling up in Jungwon's eyes as he apologises profusely.No matter how disappointed you are, you could never stay mad at your cute baby. You cup his face and gently kiss him, assuring him." It's alright, Love. I'm not mad at you. Just don't do that again without my permission, okay?" Jungwon nods, clearly relieved to see your smile and assuring look. He apologises again, promising not to do that ever again. But then, a thought crosses your mind. You lean in closer to his face with a soft smile and say,"What did you find though, Baby?" Seeing his face turn as red as a tomato was enough for you to understand, but you made him tell you nonetheless. As he recounted the experience, his face kept getting redder and your smile just grew. You cup his face with a mischievous grin ad he finishes."So my Kitty isn't as innocent as I thought?" He lets out a frustrated whine and buries his head into your chest."M-mommy...." He blurts out. You both stare at each other as the word "Mommy" falls from his lips, before you Burst out laughing and Jungwon whines in embarrassment. You capture his lips in a tender kiss, totally intending to dominate him tonight.

Jungwon is absolutely ecstatic to finally get into his subside. He loves it when you dominate him and call him kitty. He loves being praised by you, but he also has a degradation kink. You love to tease him about it, though the teasing usually ends up in one of you being on top of the other.