#please give some love to women who look past their 30s

[leidensygdom]

everytime i see a post like "behold this milf from my favourite show!" or "isn't this old woman sooooo sexy" or "well this is the best videogame cougar ever" and the picture below is someone who looks like 20 at best, i die inside a little bit. like wow are these posts made by leonardo dicaprio or what. surely they know women get past 25?????

[yuri-is-online]

Hey, remember the soulmate au by tiyoin(?) I recently read your post abt idia and Leona reacting to yuu being their mates, but I wanna take it a step further since I saw idias line abt the family curse (this has yandere implications so if it's not your cup of tea please feel free to just ignore, nothing is outright mentioned tho)

What if yuu has a family curse similar to the aishi family in yandere simulator? (It's been years since I touched the game so if the lore changed I'm basing it off of 2018 ish lore, just with my own twist) basically yes, yuu CAN feel emotions, they're just muted and barely there. Given the right conditions (like falling in love or spending time with friends) and/or antidepressants they'll basically be like any other person, without them it's like a less severe version of the aishi women pre-falling in love

So, afab ppl born in yuus family, once falling in love, start losing their sanities and adopt yandere like behavior (stalking, increasing rage and jealousy, willingness to murder, etc) unfortunately this means they usually die young (20s or 30s) how quickly/young they die is based on their willpower (resisting the urges) and when/if they fall in love (so someone falling in love for the first time in their 40s and having insane willpower, caving in 20 years later in their 60s has more luck than a 16 year old falling in love and caving in almost immediately). Unfortunately everyone is a carrier, men carry the gene and can pass it to their daughters, but it only presents in the women/afab ppl, so transfems won't be affected but transmascs will.

What if yuu fell in love already (in their own world) and has just been doing a really REALLY good job at Resisting The Urges™️. Like, sometimes they slip up and cave in to anger or get ridiculously jealous, but they try their hardest to tamp down the feelings. Yuu has sworn off falling in love (again) and has given up their dream of having a big family bc of the curse, they're even distancing themselves from their object of affection in an attempt to "be normal again" at the cost of their own sanity.

So yuu gets transported to twst, and without their darling, they have the chance to be normal again, assuming they can get past the initial panic frenzy. Then the soul bond is revealed and they just go "nope. Not this shit again" and spouts cryptic messages about a family curse and swearing off love. I'm pretty sure most of the boys would feel a bit hurt by that lmao

This is mostly made for idia since his segment is what sparked the idea in the first place, but which characters from most to least likely do you think would try to pursue mc and figure out the truth to leave them alone and try to move on? I personally can't see someone like kalim giving up on both but I think the octatrio would try to look for the truth but be 50/50 on pursuing yuu or dropping them like a hot potato. Idia I think would try to relate to yuu and try to pursue them, but I think he'd probably be a bit put off once yuu starts dropping hints about the curse (he's a weeb so it won't take long for him and maybe Ortho to put 2+2 together and figure out the curse)

tiyon's soulmate au can be found here, their first post inspired some asks, which led to my own soulbound au the rules of which can be found here. Please support tiyon and interact with their soulmate au! They're a very creative blog and deserve the attention~ give them some reblogs!

so. uh. I got this ask when I first woke up and 1) very happy to hear from you Rose, always lovely to get a new ask and 2) yandere? sim? has lore? I did not think people actually played the game? help. i've fallen and misplaced my life alert. As a rule I don't really write for a Yuu who is just x character from y game/anime (it is in my rules) so while I was at work realizing I might be old I was trying to think of a way to do this that wasn't just yan sim (I wanted something properly gn) and I think I've got something? I am currently beating away the desire to info dump on you about the myth of Sigurd and Brunhilde (i could scream about that for hours oh god oh please i have written an actual au for that but efkjbekjrgbjrthnytrh) So here is the basic idea:

Yuu ran afoul of a witch in their world and was appropriately cursed. Given the myth I was inspired by I don't think Yuu did anything bad, but they still made the witch mad so they got cursed to lose all reason should they ever fall in love.

"You will be thine own destruction!" Cackles the witch and Yuu, who is actually normal unlike trey this person takes a deep breath and resigns themselves to researching a way to minimize the effects and maybe break it? They don't know they thought magic was fake until they thought they were just doing a favor for someone but turns out they pissed off Baba fucking Yaga.

They start to isolate themselves since they notice the curse starting to eat at them when they are around anyone the love; they consider going back to the witch and asking for further clarification but they can't seem to find them anywhere so they take some deep breaths and do their best to just be normal.

When they end up in Twisted Wonderland, and start feeling... weird. And it only gets worse when Crowley speculates that they might have been brought to Twisted Wonderland because they posses a soulbond.

And Yuu immediately freaks out because they don't want to kill anyone.

Now as for your question for who would try to pursue Yuu vs just leave them... well I don't really like writing un reciprocated feelings so I hesitate to say any of the cast would drop Yuu. In my au it isn't possible for soulbonds to not be reciprocated, and they are already sort of seen as a curse by mages so this... complication might not be normal but it isn't unexpected if that makes sense. Which would probably make Yuu swearing off love hurt even worse.

Kalim wouldn't want to abandon Yuu. Not ever, no matter how much of a danger they could be to him. Hell, he's willing to forgive people who are trying to poison him on the off chance they might regret it. But he is the heir of House Al-Asim, and I could see his dad paying someone to take Yuu out to keep his son safe. Something Jamil sees coming from a mile away and has to just keep quiet about. Something I can see Jamil feeling bad about, he might not like Kalim but you didn't ask for anything that happened to you. And yet the Asim's took your life from you anyway.

Have to disagree about the octatrio just a bit. Floyd would be into this. And so would Jade. But especially Floyd, oh hee hee ha ha his soul mate wants to kill him? Say less he is on his way to get his ass eat beat with an engagement ring in hand. Both he and Jade would be a little disappointed when the curse is broken and you aren't actively trying to kill him anymore... maybe you could try and poison him huh? Like old times?

I wrote 20 paper pages of soulbond au stuff for Azul so I will try to be brief here but... I don't think this situation would be one that made him try to break the bond. He has... complicated feelings about soulbonds already. If anything I could see him thinking he deserves this.

Now Idia. He's complicated. Pre-overblot he has given up on the concept of breaking his own curse, and I could see him feeling the same way about yours. Ortho on the other hand... even before he gets his soul he wants to help. After the overblot I can see Idia pursuing Yuu determined to find the truth and save them. Not that he wouldn't interact with them before that, he's a bit nihilistic so I can see him just making a bunch of jokes about the situation or promising to let Yuu kill him "after this next round." Or just straight up asking them to when he has to hit pity in one of his gachas. It's just cringe enough that it snaps Yuu out of the curse fog for long enough for the two of them to be normal around each other. And by normal I mean incredibly awkward

Anyway that's all I've got. Thank you for the ask ♡

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

Chapter 12: My Heart Is Beating For You Constantly

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter twelve of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 9.1K (I got really carried away)

Warnings: I'm going to label this one 18+ just in case. References to sex, Implied Sex, Heavy Making Out (not really explicit, but also not real un-detailed…), Cursing, Drinking, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Soft Soldier Boy, Angst, Fluff.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

A/N: The song they dance to is "You Call It Madness, But I Call It Love" by Russ Columbo.

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

**************************************

1984

You take a sip of wine, leaning over your coffee table to pull another photo from the Rosewood box perched on the edge. It's your birthday, your 65th birthday to be exact, of course one look in the mirror revealed that you barely looked over 30. To some women that might be a welcome thought, but given your current situation it wasn't.

It marked the fourth year since you told Ben that you were unhappy on Payback and as a supe, told him that you wanted a normal life, and four years after you'd let him talk you into staying. But this was the year. You were going to tell him that you were done, that you were moving on and getting out.

Unfortunately the only person you had to convince about letting go was yourself, because leaving meant giving up Ben. And you weren't sure that was something you could do.  You were having a hard time convincing your heart to let go of him or rather the old version of him, that only made it's appearance when it was the two of you. The memories that tied you to Ben were tight and difficult to unravel. You couldn't imagine your life without him, couldn’t see past this moment in your life.

But that's why you had to go. You knew you were in too deep. Fantasizing about a  relationship with someone who would never love you the same way you loved them, hoping in something that would never happen. And you needed to let him go, whether it be the new version of him or the boy you used to know, you needed to let Ben go.

The Rosewood box was filled with photos, old doodles, memories, and objects from your past. Usually it was stored under your bed, but tonight you had dragged it out into the living room to reminisce on your birthday. It was a tradition you started a few years ago as a way of remembering the past. Sometimes it was a welcome distraction from the way things were now and tonight you were letting it be a last supper of sorts, to indulge in the memories Ben and you had shared over the years before you told him that you were leaving.

You had no idea where you were going, but the thought excited you a little bit. Finally striking out on your own for the first time, doing something for yourself for once, it felt right.

Leaving Ben was the only thing that felt wrong. You wanted him to come with you, for him to choose you the way that you chose him that night, but you knew he wouldn't. He liked this life too much to let it go, he thrived in the spotlight, embraced everything about being a supe that you hated, and so you would let him go.

You look down at the strip of paper in your hand. It was a collection of photos from a photo booth, yellowed with age, but lined up one by one from the first baseball game Ben ever took you to, one of your favorite memories from your childhood. You were wearing the ridiculous pinstriped hat and Ben looked as handsome as he always did, smiling wide with his dark hair hanging in his face. It was hard to look at it now, hard to look at Ben and you when you were so young, and you didn't know where your lives were going to go.

Your eyes drift to the velvet case pressed into the corner of the wooden box. You had kept the ring that Howard got you, well, technically you had tried to give it back but he refused, begging you to reconsider.

Sometimes you thought about throwing it away. It was ugly, but it was a reminder. Not a reminder of Howard, you could barely remember what he looked like, but it was a reminder of the night Ben asked you to come with him. You could remember the earnest look in his eyes, how he cupped your face, and the promise he made to you. The future he promised had been filled with so much possibility, but you weren’t sure anymore. You think about the years you'd spent together and how leaving felt like the end of an era.

But it was necessary, breaking away from all of this would be good. Yes you would miss Ben, but you needed to move on. You knew that deep down. Because you wanted something more than all of this, and the night Ben asked you to come with him you thought he could give it to you, but after all these years you understood that he couldn’t and that he didn’t want to.

Someone knocks loudly on your door.

“One second.” You take the last sip of wine before standing and crossing the room to open the door. “Hey what are you doing here?”

Ben is standing in the hallway outside your apartment, looking handsome as always. He's wearing a tailored dark suit with a black tie, his hair is combed back from his face, dark stubble graces his rugged jaw and a wide smile pulls up at the ends of his lips that makes it very hard to focus on anything else. “Happy Birthday Sweetheart.” 

“I’ve had too many birthdays.” You laugh and wave a hand to brush it off. “What are you doing here, I thought you had an interview about the premiere tomorrow?”

Tomorrow night was the premiere of the third and final installment of Anti-Communist films that Ben was currently staring in. The first two had been utterly ridiculous and you knew that the one tomorrow would be just as pointless. Which you knew for a fact, because one day Ben asked you to meet him on set and you saw a scene he was filming, not to mention one time he tried to get you to run lines with him and you told him you'd rather drop dead than read Countess' lines, who took the co-star role when you refused. Ben’s offer of the co-starring role to you had been his way of appeasing you after you told him you were unhappy. When you refused, Countess had been more than willing to slide into it.  Who was still trying her upmost to get into Ben's pants, but he still completely ignored her, which gave you an unmeasurable amount of joy.

“I told them that I couldn’t miss my girl's birthday.” Ben smiles wider. “Plus I’d much rather spend tonight with you than those fucking vultures and I’ve never missed your birthday.”

Instead of the words "my girl" filling you with happiness as they had the first night Ben said it in the dancehall, they only make you frustrated. He had called you that several times over the years you'd been friends and each time it made you more and more angry. You were tired of it. Tired of Ben acting like Ben only when it was the two of you. Tired of Ben acting like he cared and like he wanted to be more than friends only to crush you the next day. Tired that he called you “my girl” and then did nothing that meant more than friends.  You loved him more than you’d loved anyone ever, took care of him, did everything you could for him, and each time when he didn’t acknowledge it, you felt like you weren’t enough. It made you feel like a kid again when you tried your upmost to please your mother only to have her be disappointed in you each time.

“That’s sweet.” Anger and frustration burns in the back of your throat, but you push it down with a tight lipped smile.

“And I got us reservations, so go get dressed.”

"What?"

"I got reservations. Come on." Ben makes a gesture with his hand.

“Oh I’m okay, I was just going to-“ You motion back at the bottle of wine, the couch, and the box of photos.

“No. I’m not going to let you sit here on your birthday. Come on. Let’s go.” Ben takes your arm and turns you around gently pushing you towards the small hallway that leads back to your bedroom with his hand on the small of your back.

You brace yourself for the warmth that follows with the brush of his fingers against you, but each time you're unprepared for how it makes you feel when he touches you.

“But I don’t have anything to wear! And if you do have a reservation, how much time do I have?” You argue, trying to come up with an excuse to avoid dinner.

As much as you wanted to go, you didn't want to sit there and pretend to be happy. You were tired of doing that, but then you raise your head to look Ben in the eye.

He's smiling down at you the same way he always has, looking like the boy who climbed in your window after flunking out of boarding school to bring you paint and your resolve wavers. You hated saying no to him.

Damn it.

“By the time you stop making excuses it will be time to go. And as sexy as those pajamas are, you can’t wear them to a restaurant.” Ben teases, tugging on the bottom oversized paint-splattered shirt you were wearing

“Fine.” You grumble, cheeks flushing bright red as you snatch the shirt from his hand. “Give me ten minutes.”

**************************************

"Shut up." Ben laughs from across the table at you. "Your mother loved me!"

His laughter is contagious, making your own release from your lips and ease the tension you are holding in your chest.

The Italian restaurant is small and filled with the soft lit of music from the band in the corner, the rich aromatic smell of food, and has the calming atmosphere of a intimate bar. When Ben parked out front, you were surprised. He usually liked the restaurants on page 6 where other heroes would be found eating and places where he could be photographed for the news, but this place was different, it was almost, special. And the way Ben was acting was unusual.

He'd walked around the car after he parked and took your hand in his, to lead you down the steps to the front door where a hostess had asked for his name. Ben had used his real name rather than Soldier Boy for a reservation and when you walked out of your bedroom wearing the dress you found at the back of your closet that you had for emergencies, you swore you saw his eyes darken as they trailed across your body making your breath catch in your chest. It was odd. Ben had taken you out for your birthday before, but tonight seemed to be filled with a palpable tension and electricity that you couldn’t place.

Then again, you were probably imagining it like always.

The restaurant was perfect, it made you forget about being a supe and the glamorous lifestyle that Ben indulged in and allowed you to pretend that you were normal. However, while you sat there together, you tried not to think about what you were going to have to tell him eventually, that you were leaving. He would ask for an answer why and you’d try to tell him the same thing you told him four years ago while avoiding screaming “because I love you, you fucking idiot” at the top of your lungs. 

But it was difficult to find a way to tell him, not when he had a soft smile on his face and every few minutes Ben would find some reason to touch you. So you allowed yourself to indulge in this, to have this last wonderful memory together before you have to tell him. And in doing so, you let yourself forget being a supe, forget everything else but Ben and you in this moment.

"Oh sure, you were her favorite." You snort into your wineglass. "She put a crucifix up over my window to keep you out. Every time you went to a new boarding school, she prayed in the living room with a rosary to God begging him to keep you far from me and she cried whenever you came back. Not to mention when you got me thrown out of boarding school she forbade me from seeing you-"

"But you couldn’t stay away." Ben sing-songs with a grin before taking a sip from his glass. "And your roommate was a fucking snitch."

"She was." You smile down at the table. "I also think she was a little jealous." You lean back in your chair, holding the wineglass in your right hand.

"Oh and why is that?" Ben's smirk widens.

"Don't make me say it-" Your eyes roll.

"Oh I want to hear you admit it." He leans towards you across the table, eyes shining with a mischievous glint that makes it suddenly hard to breathe.

“Not going to happen.”  You look around the room to distract yourself with the other couples.

All the tables around you were full of people sharing stories, holding hands, brushing feet under the table and for the first time you weren't jealous of their love. The couple next to you was practically breathing the same air, leaning towards each other with sappy looks in their eyes. You were happy for them, allowed yourself to be filled with compassion at their happiness. You remember what you said to Ben four years ago, about wanting to have someone to come home to, someone who loved you and then remember the night at the dancehall watching the elderly couple dance under the twinkling lights holding each other close and gazing deeply into one another's eyes.

You wanted someone to look at you like that, wanted someone to share you life with. You wanted that so badly, that in this moment you knew that you were making the right decision leaving because you would be closer to getting it, because the man across the table from you might be your best friend and have your heart, but he didn’t want to be more. And as much as it hurt to leave the only man you’d ever loved,  you knew it was the right thing.

Ben taps his index finger on your left hand where it rests on the table between you, drawing your eyes back to his. "Did I lose you Doll?"

"Hmm? No sorry. I was-" You smile at him. "Distracted. What were you asking?"

Ben's gaze shifts to the couple sitting to your right, the one you were watching a second ago, who are holding hands on top of the table. The man says something that makes his date laugh and lean towards him to grasp his other hand. The way he smiles at his date makes you smile. Ben's eyes slide back to yours and an odd look flashes through them that you can't identify.

"You know what I was asking." His index finger begins to brush over your knuckles in a smooth circular motion. Warmth trails with his touch, sending goosebumps dancing up your left arm.

Shock buzzes at the back of your mind, you didn't understand why he was doing that, Ben had barely had anything to drink tonight, in fact that was his first and only Whiskey. Not to mention when he showed up at your door he seemed more sober than usual. He didn't smell like reefer. So for him to touch you this much was unusual, especially when he wasn't drunk or high.

“Come on Sweetheart.” He smiles at you in a way that makes your heart ache.

"Fine. Pearl thought you were devilishly handsome and was upset that I danced with you when I had Howard-"

"Don't mention that pussy." Ben’s smirk drops into a frown and he stops moving his finger against the back of your hand.

"I don't understand why you were so jealous of him." You try not to think about how much you wish he would start moving his finger again.

"I was not jealous of that idiot." Ben rolls his eyes.

"Uh-huh. After all these years, you still can't admit it." You tease him taking another sip of wine. It was giving you a pleasant buzz that made you feel just a little bit warm and bold enough to make you brush your thumb against his where his hand sits only a few millimeters from yours.

If he was touching you, you thought that maybe it would be okay for you to touch him, maybe it was okay to pretend that he wanted to hold your hand as much as you wanted to hold his, like the couple next to you were.

"I will if you admit you were jealous of Missy Callahan." Ben's eyes trail down to your thumb before looking back up at you, waiting for your answer.

"I was not-"

Ben raises an eyebrow. “I can hear your heartbeat Doll.”

“Just as I can hear yours Darling.” You smile back at him.

“Y/n.” He chuckles.

You roll your eyes at his ridiculous smile. "Fine, I will admit that was a little jealous of her, but she was awful.  She was dumb as a rock and she was the most terrible gossip-"

"I knew it." Ben smirks.

You sit there in silence for a minute gazing at Ben, your eyebrow raised. "I'm waiting."

"Oh I'm not going to admit that I was jealous of Howard. I just wanted to hear you say the thing about Missy." Ben laughs, beginning to run his index finger against the back of your hand again. His eyes on yours, as if he's gauging your reaction.

"Bastard." You roll your eyes at him. "Did I tell you that I saw Howard?"

"What?" Ben looks surprised.

"Yeah, when I went to my brother's-" You clear your throat remembering when you saw Howard four years ago. You don’t know why he went to your brother’s funeral, but he was there, gray hair slicked back staring at you open mouthed. The last time you'd seen him was the day after he proposed, when you tried to give him back the ring and he refused, stating that he wanted you to keep it, to think about it. He never got over the break up, never dating anyone else, never married. It had been an awkward reunion, especially since he kept trying to corner you, but you evaded him expertly through the crowd. You weren't interested in making awkward small-talk about the past forty years.

Ben's hand finally slips into yours, intwining your fingers together because he understands what you’re about to say. "I'm sorry I didn't go with you, I should have."

It was weird that Ben wasn’t with you, but it was also weird because you tried to comfort your sister in law and her son and his family, but it felt forced. Ben was the only person who understood what it was like for everyone to age around you while you stayed the same. Standing there to celebrate the life of your brother while you, yourself couldn't die completely or even age felt awkward. You found yourself longing for Ben when you were away, wishing that he was there to hold your hand or try to deflect some of the awkward conversations, none of which were focused on your brother and were all about you being a supe. You hated how much you depended on him.

After the funeral you had stayed in Philadelphia an extra week to help your family and when Ben called to see how you were you broke down on the phone. Ben had showed up within the next hour at your hotel and sat with you while you cried. It was one of your favorite memories, because Ben held you gently against him, whispering "It's okay Sweetheart, I've got you" while you pressed your face into his shirt, letting the smell of whiskey and his cologne soak into your skin. It was so unlike him and it made you believe that Ben wanted more, but then he never acknowledged it, like always.

"Ben it's okay, you were there when it mattered. And you went to both of my parent's funerals. Surprising because my mother would have hated that you were there. Always said you were going to ruin my life." You meant for it to be a joke, but the look in Ben's eyes shifts to something more vulnerable for a millisecond before it hardens again.

"Did I?" He asks quietly. Ben looks down at where he was holding your hand, his thumb beginning to move over the smooth skin on the back.

The question catches you off guard. It was the very question that you had been considering the past few days before you finally decided to leave all of this and your best friend. But the truth was you didn't believe that Ben ruined your life, you blamed yourself, blamed yourself for loving your best friend, blamed yourself for loving someone who didn’t love you the same way.

And it wasn’t that you hated your life, it was different than what you would have planned for yourself, but you liked parts of it. Not to mention you would have hated it more if you had said no to Ben and married Howard. If anything, Ben had saved you and you were thankful for that.

Of course the way he's looking at you and holding your hand is making it difficult for you to consider leaving. It seemed like every time you tried, Ben would do something like this- take you out to dinner or act like he wanted you and only you, and then you would reconsider. Four years ago it had been him holding you after your brother’s funeral and now it was this.

"Ben." You sigh, squeezing his hand and putting as much love into your gaze as you can. "No. You didn't. If anything you freed me. I didn't want to be with Howard and I was too afraid to say it until you asked me to come with you.”

“He could have given you a life though. You said that’s what you wanted.” For a second you think you see Ben’s eyes flick to the couple on your right with his words.

Your mind stutters to a halt in surprise. He remembered what we talked about four years ago? After he almost killed Noir?

“Um-" You clear your throat to recover. "And if you remember that conversation, you should also remember I said I didn’t want that life with Howard.”

“Yes, but you said you wanted to marry someone.” The ends of his lip twitches, but he doesn’t smile. “Still waiting on that wedding invite.” His thumb is stroking long smooth patterns on the back of your hand, making your throat tight and making it impossible to think.

“I’m sure you’ll get it any day now. Legend is happy that I finally said yes.”

“I should have known. Y’all looked pretty cozy at that party two weeks ago.” Ben laughs. “So if you’re engaged to him, does that mean you don’t want your birthday present?”

“I’ve said it once and I’ve said it again, I’m too old for birthdays.”

“Then why did you come out with me?”

“Oh I’m just going to write this off as old friends having dinner. That or a kidnapping. You practically dragged me to the car.”

“Be thankful I let you change.” Ben replies.

“I don’t know, I think I would have really made a statement with my paint splattered shirt and sweatpants."

You’d chosen the dress you were wearing at random. It was a dark green, the same color as Ben’s supe suit, off your right shoulder cinched around your waist and fell elegantly to your ankles. It was one of your favorites, something you believed accentuated your body effortlessly.

"They were something. Though I think that you-" Ben pauses, dropping his eyes to where he's still holding your hand, before looking back up at you. "Um-"

"What?" You smile.

He clears his throat, a soft smile on his face. "I think you look beautiful now too."

Your next words dry up in your mouth, there's not a shred of joking or teasing in Ben's eyes. Ben had said it before, but with a mischievous glint in his eyes, but now there is only sincerity. And it makes your heart jolt out of rhythm.

He said too. That means that he thought I looked beautiful before when I was-

"Thank you." You flush red and squeeze his hand. "I don't think you look too bad yourself, you know, for a old man." You add that last part because you don’t know what to say when he's looking at you like that.

Ben's smile slips into a frown. "You should be nicer to me, I got you a birthday present."

“See, you keep saying that, but I haven’t seen it.”

“I thought you didn’t want it.” The mischievous glint is back in his eye.

“I could be persuaded.” You smirk.

Ben releases your hand and reaches into his coat pocket to pull out a long navy blue velvet box wrapped in a thick silver bow before sliding it across the white tablecloth.

“You get me another paintbrush?” You smirk running a fingertip over the velvet top to examine it while acutely missing the feeling of his hand grasped in yours.

“Something like that.”

“Did you steal it?” You pick up the box and wave it for emphasis, remembering all the times Ben stole little things from the stores that lined Downtown Philadelphia and the box he had hidden under his bed filled with random trinkets.

You never understood why he did that. Ben's family was almost as wealthy as yours and although his father didn't approve of anything Ben was doing, he never cut him off.

“Maybe.” He shrugs and leans on the table towards you, his eyes filled with excitement.

“With how much money they pay you for those ridiculous films you shouldn’t be stealing anything.”

“I’m sure if you sold your artwork instead of shoving it in the closet you’d be just as wealthy as me.”

“Yes, but my grand plan is to have you pay for everything so I can continue to use you and I can’t do that if I’m rich."

“You can use me anytime sweetheart.” Ben winks.

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes at him, but can't stop the blush that stains your cheeks at his insinuation.

Everything about tonight felt just like old times, the way he joked with you and the way you couldn't stop smiling, but at the same time, something else nagged at the back of your mind. The handholding was new, as were the compliments and deeper conversation, especially because Ben wasn't drunk or high, and yet he was being gentler than usual, almost soft. And that was something Ben never was, at least not in public.

You tried not to be frustrated with the turn of events and just enjoy the moment, but deep down you wanted to know.

Was Ben doing this because he cared? Or was he doing this because he sensed I was unhappy and that I was leaving and he thought this was the only way to keep me around?

“Come on, open it.”

“Fine.” You smile down at the box and slowly slide off the bow. “Please tell me you have photos of you trying to tie this bow. Preferably while you were wearing your supe suit.”

“I already destroyed the evidence.”

 “Figures.” You sigh. “Would have been a nice birthday present.”

“I think this is better, but given the pace you’re going at I’ll still be sitting here waiting for you to open it at your next birthday.” Ben takes a drink from his glass.

“Which I won’t be celebrating.”

"Oh you're going to. I’ll make sure.” 

You roll your eyes at him, before finally opening the velvet box and your next joke is forgotten as you struggle to catch your breath. You were expecting something art related. Ben always got you brushes, paints, colored pencils, and any other art supply-like gift, because he knew that you liked those things but not tonight. Because for your 65th birthday Ben decided to get you something that took your breath away.

Nestled in black velvet is a pearl necklace, elegant, beautiful, catching in the fluttering warm light of the restaurant as the band in the corner continues to play a jazzy tune that makes you remember the records your father would listen to while he smoked before bedtime.

“Ben-“ You begin to say, but you can’t finish your sentence, you're too surprised to say anything else.

Not once in all the years you’d been friends had Ben bought you jewelry. Shopping for his birthday was harder, his last one you had gotten him a pair of silver cufflinks that he was currently wearing, but each time you bought him something like that it didn't feel like you were revealing too much about how you felt and it never felt like a gift you would give someone who was more than your friend. But now, staring down at the necklace that Ben bought you feels, intimate almost romantic.

“I remembered how upset you were when you lost the one your dad got you.” Ben says slowly, his eyes on you. “I know it’s not the same one, but the lady in the store said it was the most like the ones they made when we were younger and I thought-“ He rubs the back of his neck. “Um- I thought you’d like it.”

You smile, still unable to speak, fighting the happy tears that build behind your eyes. You had lost the necklace your father got you a few months ago and you tore your entire apartment apart to find it. Ben had walked right into the middle of the chaos and found you a sobbing mess.

Your father had bought it for you on your 23rd birthday. It was your first birthday as a supe and your first one away from home. Your father had it delivered to you with a vase of fresh cut lavender, because you couldn’t go home and he couldn’t get away.  It was one of the last things you had from him, besides the antique watch perched on your wrist.

“I can’t believe you remembered that.” You swallow the ball of emotion lodged in your throat.

“I do listen to you.”

You look up and raise an eyebrow.

“Sometimes.” His soft smile makes you feel light headed and makes you wish all over again that you had the courage to tell Ben the three little words that you'd always wanted to.

“I don’t know what to say-“

“Too much? Because I can take it back and buy you a paintbrush-“ Ben starts to reach for the box, but you catch his hand against the table tangling your fingertips together.

“No. It's perfect. Thank you Ben.”

He looks relieved by your answer. “You’re welcome.”

The soft sounds of conversation swell around you mixing with the tinkling of utensils against plates and the music that pours from the band in the corner where a singer dressed in a long red sequined gown sings a familiar song. But you can't stop admiring the necklace nestled in the fabric, your hand still clasped in Ben's on top of the table.

Ben finally breaks the silence. “Do you want me to help you put it on?”

You blink for a minute to comprehend what he was asking, raising your eyes to his genuine smile. "Please.”

Ben stands from his chair and comes around behind you as you gently twist your hair out of the way, so he has access to your neck. His rough fingertips brush against the smooth skin of your neck sending a shiver down your spine that you hope Ben misses because how would you explain that? When he secures it at the back of your neck you look down at the pearls, holding them between your thumb and forefinger.

"They're beautiful." You whisper, before looking back up at him.

"Yes, beautiful." He responds, but Ben isn't looking at your necklace, his eyes are locked on your face.

What is going on?

"Ben-" You begin to say, attempting for the first time to ask him why he does this, acts different around you, gives you hope and then takes it all away, but he interrupts you.

"Come on." His hand falls on yours and he pulls you up out of your chair, weaving through the other tables to stand in front of the band in the corner. His right hand finds the small of your back, while his left gently holds your right in the air.

"What are you doing?" You ask.

"Isn't it obvious?" Ben smiles. "We're dancing."

"No one else is dancing." You look around the room at the couples sitting quietly together enjoying their meals, who have begun to watch Ben and you sway to the music.

He leans forward to whisper into the curve of your ear. "Then let's show them how it's done Sweetheart."

You can't help but laugh at him, enjoying the way that he feels pressed against you, how it makes you feel alive in the best way, how you feel safe in his arms. Being here, swaying to the last few notes of the song with him made you reconsider leaving again. Ben was the only person who knew you completely, inside and out, the only person who seemed to understand you. Choosing to leave him would be like choosing to leave home, because after everything you'd been through, Ben was home.

As soon as the song ends, the one that follows is familiar, a tune that sparks a memory at the back of your mind. You raise your eyes to Ben's. His are crinkled with his smile, a mischievous glint behind them.

"Ben, did you tell them to play-"

"Yeah. I told them to play our song." He whispers, holding you tighter against him.

The memory of the night you first danced warms against your skin. You remembered it well. It was the night that you almost told him you loved him, the same thing you were considering right now. You couldn't believe that he remembered the song you danced to. You smile at the memory of that night, when Ben punched Howard in the face and it gave you a sickening amount of joy.

“What are you smiling at?” Ben asks you.

“I still can’t believe you hit him.” You shake your head with a laugh.

"He hurt you. And I didn't like that he made me stop dancing with my girl."

You sigh before you can stop yourself the phrase immediately making the laughter dissipate and making the warm feeling at his touch fade. Tonight Ben was again making you think that he wanted to be more, and worst of all it was making it harder to leave. Because what if this was him trying to tell you the only way he knew how? What if this was him finally admitting that he loved you and you just left?

"What?” He frowns down at you.

“I don’t know why you keep calling me that.”

"What?"

"Your 'girl'." You bite the inside of your cheek to keep the frustration from making you say more.

 “You don't think you are?"

“What do you think it means? To me it means being in a relationship with someone. We have been friends for over fifty years and you have never once said that you wanted to be more-"

"I did try to propose.” Ben jokes, not understanding that you’re upset.

"Really? That was your proposal?" You scoff rolling your eyes. "A joke while you were sitting on my shitty couch drunk off your ass while trying to apologize for almost killing Noir and telling me that you hate when I get in your way?  Forgive me for imagining some big gesture and for not swooning."

“I wasn’t that drunk.”

“Oh please-“

“I’m fucking serious.” He shrugs.

“What?” You look him in the eye to look for the teasing glint, but it's not there, Ben looks serious.

“I wasn’t that drunk.”

“Don’t tease me.”

“I’m not.” Ben’s eyes lock with yours. “I also didn’t apologize for almost killing him. And I do hate when you get in my way." 

"Yes, I figured that given how angry you looked." You roll your eyes, glancing to look at the couples around you again, but this time the happiness you felt for them is gone. The jealousy is back coupled with the frustration of Ben acting like Ben and then pulling a complete 180 the next day and making you question everything. Because you wanted to exist in the moments that he was still Ben and you didn’t want to leave him, but you did want to leave Soldier Boy. The problem was right now all you saw was Ben and you hated that you couldn’t enjoy it because you knew it would end. Someone would piss him off or he’d get drunk or high or go down the rabbit hole with some other woman and Ben would be gone.

You didn’t understand how he could go from hot to cold so quickly.

“But I didn’t lie when I said I’d never hurt you.” Ben's voice rumbles up through where his chest is pressed against yours.

You want to say that you believe him, but after the past forty years you weren’t sure anymore. And that thought hurt more than anything else. You didn’t know your best friend anymore, and it scared you.

Your eyes are leveled on Ben’s chest, by now he’s stopped swaying you to the music. You know what will happen when you look up into his eyes, he'll make a joke or say something like the last forty years never happened and you'll crumble like always. You can feel his breath against your face, the warmth of his body transferring through his chest and soaking into yours.

“Y/n, please look at me.” He releases your hand and cups your cheek to tilt you head upwards to him. The one still planted on your back slides down to your waist, tightening around you as you lock eyes with him. “You know that I’d never hurt you. Right?”

Ben's eyes lock on yours, the love and care reflected in the irises makes your body burn. He's never looked at you like that, looked at you like you were the only woman in the world and deep down it makes you want to pull him close and whisper the three little words you've wanted to say for fifty seven years.

You focus on Ben's words to shake it off, it was the same thing he’d said four years ago, but this time the air between you is charged with electricity.

And you can’t take it anymore.

“Why?” You whisper.

It catches him off guard. “What?”

“Why are you different with me? When the cameras stop rolling, when the team goes home, when it’s just the two of us, you’re different." You stop to catch your breath.  "Ben, I’ve known you for fifty seven years. And in the last forty you’ve changed. But not around me, not when it’s just the two of us. You show up at my apartment in the middle of the night, we talk, we laugh about the past, you sleep in my bed, you call me 'your girl'-”

“You’ve known me longer than anyone else-” His hand is still cupping your cheek now, thumb gently brushing against the smooth skin making your throat tight.

“But even before all this, when we were still in Philadelphia. You were always around me, showing up, taking me out to do things in the city. Ben, we both know how you are. I watched you chase after whatever caught your eye and even now-“ You shake your head frustrated. “But you never act that way with me.”

Ben is quiet for a minute, his eyes searching yours, soft green in the fluttering lights above your heads. “Because you’re different y/n. You’ve always been different.”

“But that doesn’t tell me why Ben. We’ve been doing this for so long and I want-“ You sigh frustrated with yourself because you can’t say it, can’t say that you want him. “I mean I’m not sure if I can-“ You were going to say that you weren’t sure you could do this anymore, that you wished he would let you go, wished that you could walk away, and wished that he would stop giving you hope that the two of you could be something more because you couldn’t do it.

But the words are stopped when his lips meet yours.

You inhale sharply in surprise, before your entire body melts against his, deepening the kiss as you drag your hands up into his dark hair, while your mind goes blissfully blank. Ben’s mouth is firm but tender against yours, moving in a slow dance that makes warm tingles trail down your spine. The hand that was on your cheek, joins the other on your waist. His hand tightens on your hip as your song continues to play while the other presses against the small of your back to secure you against him. The solidness of his chest is familiar, molding against your curves in the best way as if he was made for you and you were made for him. You feel his thumb begin to circle slowly against the fabric on your hipbone and suddenly you remember the night he helped you loosen your corset and all you wanted was him. You never thought it would feel like this.

When you finally pull away for air, Ben doesn’t let you go far, he leans his forehead against yours, the look in his eyes is surprisingly vulnerable, as if he thinks you’re going to push him away.

“I-“ He begins, his green eyes are wide almost afraid.

Why?

You raise your hands to gently cup his strong jaw, searching his eyes with a smile to confirm you aren't going anywhere, before pulling him back to you for another kiss that makes your toes curl in the tight shoes you forced them into an hour ago. Ben sighs into your mouth, a soft sound that surprises you. You had seen him kiss other people before. Ben was anything but gentle, but now you believed that he reserved that gentleness just for you and it made you feel like you were going to melt into a puddle.

When you pull back again, Ben’s forehead is still against yours, his eyes bright and unmoving from your face. For a moment neither of you speaks, too afraid to break the silence.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours Sweetheart?” Ben asks, the deep rumble of his voice working up through where your chest is pressed against his. His expression is gentle, and he brings up one of the hands that was on your waist to trace the pillow of your lips with his thumb.

And before you lose your nerve your smile curves into a smirk.  “Took you long enough Benjamin.”

“Shut up.” He rolls his eyes at you.

“Make me.” You mutter against his thumb.

And then he’s kissing you again, moving his lips in tandem with yours while your heart flutters and dances. And you never want it to end, because he's kissing you like he never wants to let you go and you're kissing him like you don't want him to.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Ben mutters against your lips with a smile, his deep eyes catching yours. "Don't be jealous of Missy Callahan. She's nothing compared to you, never has been, never will be."

Your heart warms, cheeks blushing with his words, because even after all these years, Ben still knew exactly what to say. You hold his face reverently, admiring the familiar dips and curves, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. "Don't be jealous of Howard. He meant nothing to me. No one means as much to me as you do Ben."  You whisper back before you kiss him and allow yourself to fall again, hoping that this time he’ll catch you.

*************************************

“Did you want something to drink?” You ask Ben, gesturing with your free hand towards the kitchen.

Standing in your apartment feels different post kiss. It feels like this all represents something bigger now. The apartment, him coming upstairs even though he has spent most of the nights here since you bought it and of course the way he’s looking at you, how he’s been unable to stop looking at you since he kissed you.

“Are you going to get it for me?” Ben is still holding your hand, had held it the entire car ride, only releasing it when he got out to open the door for you and then took it again as you walked up to your apartment. His thumb is moving across the back in a soothing motion that makes you want to curl up in the warmth that trails behind like a cat in the sun.

“I’m sure you remember where it is”

“Mhmm.” Ben is eyeing you again, the green in his eyes darkening in a way that makes your throat tight.

You’re not sure who moves first, all you know is that someone closes the distance between you, and you lose yourself in him. Your curves melt against the hard muscles of Ben’s chest and arms as he pulls you into him, his hands  gripping your waist so tight that you know there might be bruises but you don’t care.

Your hands trail up his muscular chest to tangle in his hair, pulling at the darkened strands and forcing his mouth harder against yours.

He tastes like whiskey and smoke, night and day, and all those bittersweet moments you’ve shared over the years you’ve known him. There is no semblance of Soldier Boy left behind, it’s just Ben and you and it's everything you wanted for so long. The kiss is charged with so much emotion and tension you feel something inside you snap and warmth floods your body in its wake. Ben moans into your mouth, his hands coming down to sweep low over your curves and ignites a fire in the pit of your stomach that you’ve never felt before.

There had been others try to do exactly this. Other heroes you politely declined because you didn’t feel anything for them. You remember the kisses with Howard, passionless, boring, but being here with Ben was like nothing you’d ever imagined. The subtle scratch of his scruff against your cheeks makes you lose all feeling in your legs, his strong embrace makes goosebumps burn against your skin, and the sounds he’s making against your lips makes your heart seize in your chest.

He backs you up and you both fall on the couch in a tangle of limbs, his body caging you beneath him while his fingertips boldly trail against your body, finding places that make you moan into his mouth.

You can feel his smirk against your lips and you’ve never felt more sexy in your life. Ben’s moans against every piece of skin he can get his lips against make you blush crimson and echo his cries with soft sounds that make him grip you tighter. His hands are everywhere, coaxing along your curves, discovering places that you didn’t know could be sensitive and that make you gasp and arch against him as he continues to kiss you.

Everything about this feels right, feels perfect, as if you were both made for this exact moment. The subtle drag of his hands against you, the firm assertive way he holds you beneath him, how your body responds to his touch, and the way your heart continues to swell in your chest, frantically beating as if it wishes to break free. You forget about all the other women he's ever been with, all the others he's probably held close, nothing else exists at this moment, nothing else exists except him and you here on this couch. His lips ghost to your neck as he sucks a mark into the column of your throat and you realize he's saying your name over and over the way that no one ever has.

There’s a loud ripping noise and you understand that Ben ripped off the bottom half of your dress, the tattered remains just barely brushing against your thighs. But you can’t be angry with him for that, not when everything he’s doing feels perfect.

Ben’s hands slowly begin to push up the bottom of your now ruined dress and you come back down from your high, feeling the gentle press of his fingers against your thigh as they begin to move upwards.

“Ben-" You breathe.

You hate how breathy your voice sounds, but the new sensations running through your body are almost too overwhelming for you to gain control of. If you weren't both as indestructible as you were you would be afraid of the possibility of killing Ben.

He moans into your neck, working his hand up further to a place that makes your grip his shoulders tight and you leave bruises of your own, because you’re the only person strong enough to bruise him, to leave marks against his almost invulnerable skin. And it makes a shudder go down his spine.

"Ben wait-"

He stops, looking down at you with wide eyes, pupils dilated in a way that almost sends you back into a frenzy with him. "What's wrong?" He is also out of breath, chest rising and falling fast. You can hear his heart beat thundering in his chest, beating in tandem with yours.

“Before we do this I just want to tell you that I’ve never-" You bite your lip nervously. "I've never done this before.”

“This?” He looks confused, withdrawing his hand from under your ruined dress.

“Well- you know." You gesture between the two of you. "This.”

"You've never had sex with anyone before?"

"No." You flush bright red wondering if that's a deal breaker for him. If he wanted someone more experienced. "I’m sorry."

He sits there for a minute, staring down at you. "Why are you apologizing?” Ben’s hand brushes your hair away from your face in a gentle gesture, so different than the heavy caresses of his hands against your curves he did earlier.

“I don’t know.” You whisper embarrassed. “I just- everyone else has and I’m pretty sure you have with millions of people.”

“Well not millions.”

“But still.” You suddenly think that this was a giant mistake, that you should just go to your room in shame. You drop your eyes to his chest embarrassed.

His hands are stroking along your waist, toying with the frayed edges of your dress. “Y/n.” He whispers.

“What?” You mumble.

Ben raises his hand to cup your cheek, turning your gaze back on him. The way he’s looking at you causes a hot jolt of energy to race down your spine and makes you wish that you were more confident or knew what you were doing.

 He’d been with hundreds of women all kinds of women and what had I been doing all these years? Nothing and no one. I’m not really sure if I understood the mechanics OF sex- but oh how I wished. My head was just getting in the way of everything else as usual.

“I will admit that I have slept with a lot of women.” Ben sighs. “But it’s okay. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to-“

“I want to.”

 “Are you sure? I don’t know if I’m the best person for this-“ And for a moment you think he looks almost worried.

Why would he think that?

“I’m sure. I want it to be you. I’ve always wanted it to be you.” You breathe, running your hands through his hair, your cheeks flushing bright red with your confession, afraid that you’re saying too much, giving too much away as to how much he means to you.

“Really?” Ben smiles in a way that makes your breath catch.

You nod.

“I can’t promise it won’t hurt.” The darkness in his eyes shifts to something else and for a moment it’s difficult for you to form a sentence. He leans his forehead against yours, searching your eyes.  “I don’t want to hurt you.” Ben whispers it like a secret.

“You’re not going to hurt me. I trust you Ben.” You whisper, knotting you hands in his hair.

“You do?”

You nod your head. “And I’m pretty sure that I’m just as capable of hurting you-“

“Maybe.” The look in his eyes is back, blazing through his green irises in a way that makes your throat swell closed. He bends over to whisper against the curve of your ear. “Then again, I kinda like that Sweetheart.” His lips brush just behind your right ear, making a shiver go down your spine. Ben smiles at your reaction before he dips down to kiss you, but it’s different, the kiss is soft, trusting, and not the previous manic haze of desire it was previously. “ I know you think it’s a big deal, but I like that I’m your first. Because it means that no other man has touched you, made you feel any of the things that I’m going to do to you, and that I’ll never have to share you with anyone else.” His grip on your waist tightens possessively. “That you’ll be completely and utterly mine and no one else can do a damn thing.”

You inhale and try not to faint from the darkened look in his eyes. “Well when you put it that way-“

“Come on.” Ben stands from the couch.

Before you can get up to follow he picks you up like you weigh nothing causing you to automatically wrap your thighs around his waist as he kisses you feverishly again, wiping your mind of anything and everything but him.

“What are you doing?” You breathe, entangling your hands at the nape of his neck to secure yourself.

“I’m not going to let your first time be on some shitty couch.” He mutters against your lips while adjusting his grip under your legs

And with that he takes you down the hall and kicks your bedroom door closed behind you.

********************************************

A/N: Well it finally happened. Unfortunately this is also when all hell breaks loose…

Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to my taglist for this series let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs @bughill126, @simplyfixated @sleepjam, @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts,@onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan

[cream0fwheat1998]

Of Mean & Mice (Dark! Rafe Cameron x Reader)

Summary: College student y/n is invited to a girls' night by classman Sarah Cameron. All is not what it seems when she assaulted by Sarah older brother, who just happens to be staying at their parents house at the same time.

AU. Everyone is College-aged or older. 18+ thank you.

Warning: NONCON, assault and dark Rafe.

Rafe Cameron threw his empty beer can into the sand; the typically humid air has chilled as winter nears in the Outer Banks.

"Fuck you Sarah; you owe me." He tossed the "adult" photos of his sister into the bonfire. He didn't like her too much, regardless, he never wanted to see naked photos that her scorned ex had taken without her knowledge.

"I know, you asshole. I'm thinking." Sarah crossed her arms and sat into the sand with a defeated sigh.

"You could think faster; it wasnt easy to get Topper to give up those pics. My current supply of Coke - fucking gone." He said, pulling a pack of cigarettes & a lighter out of his pocket.

Sarah thought back to the moment the photos were taken. She had been waiting for that moment with John B. It was suppose to be special; and it was, until Topper had gotten sloppy with the flash of his camera. The heat of her and John B's skin, the longing in each others' eyes was replaced by panic and aggression for the pervert that ran from the bushes he had been hiding in.

Rafe noticed the single tear fall down Sarah's cheek. He didn't feel bad for her; but he was frustrated at the situation Topper had put all of them in. Kelce's poor taste in humor made the situation even more aggravating. The glance at the photos had him flustered but not because of his sister, that'd be disgusting. He could tell Sarah was distraught more than usual and felt that this was finally the time where he'd be owed something from someone else.

It had been a lifetime since he felt this powerful. Yeah, Rafe had money, drugs and Women whenever and wherever he wanted but as he has gown older; nearing 30, he knew he felt a loss for something that had never existed in his heart.

Real Love.

Rafe scoffed at the stupidest, fucking idea he ever had. It'd never be possible for him to find someone that would love him. But he could force someone; but who? Some of these whores were too willing & eager to share Rafe's bed. Only because of the weight of his families name and the weight of his bank account.

He shook his head; realistically, he knew he was no saint himself but he knew how to use his resources and powers to his favor. Above all, he loved to dangle it above others' heads.

"Find me a girl Sarah. Anyone. Not ugly, please. But someone who looks like shed be easy to tell what to do and say." He said, looking into the deep, dark sky.

Sarah shook her head and chuckled slightly, "You're fucking messed up but fine. I don't where to start though...." She glanced at her brother who was lighting a cigarette.

"Just fucking do it. Thats what you'll owe me. You have a week or I let Topper release the backup photos he probably has somewhere." Rafe looked back at his sister while taking a long inhale of his smoke.

Rafe felt good as the rush of nicotine hit him. He desired change.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/n sat at the instructor droned on about the class issue. Today she wasn't particularly attentive with the health of her father in mind. She and him didn't start off with a great relationship but since he's come back into her and her mothers life; both of them have made and effort to be civil.

When the past started to dissolve into nothing and the future seemed possible, all was lost when her dad went to the doctors for some stomach issues that have turned out to be a large problem than once believed.

On top of all that, she had noticed some stares from a girl in class. Sarah; Y/n thought. She was rather pretty but seemed kinda bitchy through her disinterested & entitled tone she typically spoke in. But the stares weren't mean; her eyes were bright and teeth as white as the moon shone at her from time to time. It was odd because this never happened before.

At the chime of the clock, the instructor put down his pointer and dismissed all of them. (Y/n) gathered her papers and stuffed them into an already full backpack.

The shame from falling behind her assignments felt heavy but Y/n couldnt bring herself to lift a pencil to a paper with the rest of the world on her shoulders.

A tap on her shoulder made her heart speed up as she twirled around to see 'Sarah' standing behind her with a wide smile.

Y/n glanced around the nearly empty classroom but it seemed she really was the one Sarah was waiting on.

When y/n didn't say anything Sarah rolled her eyes, "Hey i'm Sarah. Listen I'm having a girl only bonfire friday and I'm inviting alot of girls in my classes. I thought I might as well ask you so.....do you wanna go?" Sarah handed her flyer with an address and clip art on it.

Before y/n could answer as the Un-comfortability of being singled out dawned upon her; Sarah dismissed any possibility of a 'no'.

"Please come. It'll be fun and much better than whatever you already had planned. Think about it and text me by midnight." Sarah asked and hurried out of the room.

Multiple thoughts crossed y/n's mind as she head to her car in the parking lot. There were still 2 classes left but the overwhelming social possibilities along with the stuff that already had her mind in a headlock weighed against her. She had no mental capacity for anything new.

While her home was silent and dark; Y/n thought about the uncertainty of it all. Her parents were at the hospital for another check up and she offered to join but they wanted her to focus in school and asked her to stay away.

As the numbers on her phone changed and the sky got darker; y/n decided to take a once in a lifetime chance before she fully decided society was not worth participating in all-together.

Slowly, y/n practiced her text message before forcing herself to hit send. A rapid heartbeat cause the girl to down a bottle of water and look to the deep blue evening sky as she hoped that she'd get to feel better for atleast one night.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah was painting her last toenail when her phone screen lit up. On the surface was a speech bubble by an unsaved number that read, "This is Y/n L/n from school. I'd like to go to your party."

Sarah felt giddy by the politeness of the message; she felt deeply that this goody-goody mouse that always sat in the back of the class and away from everyone would be perfect to fulfill the end of her bargain that she owed to her horny brother.

Sarah texted Rafe not a second later with the picture she snuck of Y/n in class. "This is her. Tomorrow night." Sarah typed. A sigh of relief as she plopped down the phone but still a bundle of nervous in her stomach as she waited her brothers approval.

Three dots appeared under her own speech bubble. Sarahs eyes tried to see into her brothers mind for some peace but was elated at his response.

"Okay".

He liked Y/n (rather the potential that she held) and Sarah had felt she had done something right for once.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/n was in a car with several other women she'd seen on campus a few times. Sarah had called her in the morning with an offer to have Y/n picked up by some other girls that were coming.

Y/n wasnt totally comfortable with idea but Sarah insisted.

When they reached Sarah's home; the large mansion was a beautiful sight to behold. And y/n had never felt smaller than she had now; but little did she know that the mysterious face in the upper window would force her to feel the smallest she's ever been in just a few hours.

Y/n had been instructed to carry in some of the girls bags; she agreed to be nice but not without noticing the mocking chuckles from the women slapping their flip flops into the house.

As she entered into the front room alone; y/n stopped to admire the beauty of the house. It was an elegance she had never seen in modern homes, realizing that the house was probably historic.

One of the bag feel from her overwhelmed arms and fell to the ground.

"Shit." Y/n said while trying to grab it but a hand reached out of nowhere and grabbed it from the ground.

She followed the hand to it's owner; a handsome young man with beautiful blue eyes and a strong jaw line greeted her with a half smile.

Y/n stared, not knowing what to say.

"You're welcome. Sarah's room is upstairs and I'll show you the way." The male said already heading up the stairs, silently expecting her to follow.

Y/n followed, unsure of what the next move should actually be.

The bags were thrown inside of Sarah's bedroom and the pair stood in silence.

"Are you special needs or what?" The male asked with impatient eyes.

Y/n shook her head, "No. Sorry I just....What's your name?" Y/n asked, still taken aback by the subtle beauty of the man before her.

The guy scoffed, "Rafe. Sarah's brother. I have my own apartment but I'm staying here for the holiday break." he said as he sounded offended Y/n didn't already know that.

"I'm Y/n....y/n" She said with a slight stutter; embarrassed that she, as a 22 year old woman was still nervous when talking to men, alone.

Rafe nodded and yawned. Without a word, he walked away and disappeared down the long corridor.

Y/n felt disappointed that she couldn't keep the conversation going but figured that it was all just a fluke. There was a big fire, food and loud music to have fun with and she'd try her best to blend in.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1am, everyone was in Sarah's room. It'd been so long since Y/n had been surrounded by girls her age that she was willing to go with almost anything to feel good and wanted just this one night.

Sarah challenged this saying that Y/n's modest pajamas wouldn't do and that she needed something "Sexier" which y/n thought was weird (to be honest) but she wanted to fit in so Sarah handed her a pile of clothing and had Y/n change.

It was bittersweet. Not what she expected in either direction. It was a large t-shirt that went to her mid thighs (nothing but pebbled nipples and her underwear underneath) and a pair of long, shin length white socks. Uncomfortably, it reminded her of the socks her father would wear to work years ago.

When she emerged out of the bathroom, the women smiled. "You look adorable!" Sarah said while grabbing Y/n's shoulder.

Y/n had noticed just how cat-like Sarah was up-close. Suspicious eyes and lithe reflexes. "I was wondering could you go get us something? Sofia spilled her chips on the ground and I need a cloth to get it out of the carpet?"

Without thinking, Y/n nodded. All eyes in the room were on her. Sarah squeezed the womans' shoulders and said thank you.

"Turn left, down the hallway and a few doors. The last one at the end is the linen closet." Sarah said, turning her back to Y/n.

Y/n tip toed into the dark hallway; thinking about how embarrassing if any of Sarah's family saw a girl with no pants or bra on, rummaging through their personal property.

Y/n opened the door she thought was the closet but instead opened to Rafe, the young man from earlier, sitting at his desk, typing at the computer.

He glanced up from his work and saw Y/n standing there in the exact outfit he told Sarah to make her wear. God. He never imagined such a fantasy actually get to play out.

Go time.

Y/n face felt white hot as she and the eldest Cameron stared at each-other. "I'm sorry!" Y/n said, not knowing where to look or how to act.

"I thought this was the linen closet." Y/n said, about to close the door before Rafe answered.

He chuckled and stood from his desk, "It's alright. You're exactly where you need to be." He said closing in on the innocent woman.

Before she could comprehend what was happening, Rafe pulled Y/n in by the wrist and shut the door with a slam. Turning the lock in place.

In her head, Y/n asked what was going on but for whatever reason she stayed silent. But her mind screamed for her to run.

Rafe shook his head and walked toward the girl; like a lion stalking his next food. "You really don't think Sarah Cameron just invited you, a nobody, to hang out with her. Did you?" His eyes narrowed as his body glistened in the bit of moonlight showing through the window.

It didnt take a rocket scientist to put 2 + 2 together. More than ever, Y/n felt stupid. The realization that this may have been a prank dawned upon her.

"Now listen. This is gonna go one two ways. You either lay on your back and let me do whatever I want or I hold you down while I do what I want. You should feel grateful you're getting a choice at all." Rafe said, proudly but soft. His eyes were soft but his demeanor held an aura of temptation and daring. It was obvious that he liked 100% control regardless of his mates' feelings.

Y/n weighed her options. She knew she couldn't over power that tall, slender but muscular man before her. However she did have a voice and opened her mouth to scream.

Rafe slapped his hand against the girls mouth with a rough pat. "You can scream but they're not gonna help you. They know why you'll be screaming have been instructed to mind their fucking business. I'd save your voice anyway. Youll be screaming my name plenty soon enough." He said, a stern and scary look on his face.

Y/n backed up with Rafe forcefully pushing her forward until she fell on her back; she reached down to make sure her shirt was covering her intimate parts.

"Awww, look at you. You do know that's my shirt right? Its obviously too big for Sarah but I guess you were too stupid to figure that out before now." He said, looking ready to consume her whole at any given second.

As more things made sense, so did Y/n's fears. She rarely had courage so how she managed to say, "Please, don't do this...." In a choppy, emotion sentence was a step farther than she ever had taken.

Rafe thought how pitiful she looked with a line of tears ready to spill and that small voice that squeaked out delicate pleas. Something about her meekness made him feel powerful. He was in charge and he'd decide what happens to her. Though, for the first time in a long time, he felt his heart beat differently. Deeper.

Not a second later, he dove down, planting kisses on any visible surface of skin. From her neck to her thighs; she'd be marked in love bites. His marks. Y/n made a valiant effort to push Rafe off her person but he was much stronger than her. As is she didnt already know that.

"You're amusing but you're no match for me, cutie. Why don't you just lay there and take what I have to give you, hmm?" He said, tilting his chin up like a king looking down at a peasant.

A tear slid down y/n's cheek as Rafe abused her body. He roughly grabbed everywhere he could; he bit, kissed and chewed on anything he wanted. Y/n thought back to her parents and what they'd say if they saw her on her back, letting a strange man use her this way. They had instilled certain morals in her and to some degree she felt guilty not following those morals.

In a feat of conjured strength, Y/n bit down hard on the skin of Rafe's cheek. Her moment of people a defensive lioness what cut short with a hard slap, nearly punch, to the face by her assailant.

He was livid at the audacity she had to reject his love-making and slapped even harder the second time. She had wanted to bruise him so he was make sure he left his mark on her skin.

"You stupid fucking bitch!" He slapped a third time at the girl streamed tears down her face.

"I'm sorry! Please stop!" Y/n tried to squeak out but her soft voice drowned in the violence Rafe forcing on her.

"No no no, it's too late for that. I gave you the option for this to be gentle both ways but you had to fucking ruin it. You get no say now." Rafe pointed down at her before sucking on her neck twice as hard, like a vampire trying to draw blood.

Rafe grabbed y/n and spun her around ,onto her stomach and lifted the shirt over her ass. He took his time caressing and smoothing his hands over every acre of skin and over every curve like she was a piece of pottery. He moan and voiced awe while feeling her.

Still wanting to be let out, Y/n pleaded once more. "I'm sorry! I really am!! I promise I won't tell anyone about this and I'll never bother you or your sister again!" She cried.

Rafe shushed the girl, "You were chosen for me and I'm gonna take the opportunity to see if you're a good fit princess. Sarah doesn't matter in this coupling. It's about me and you. And you're going to let me, your master, figure you out." He said, sliding his finger around her folds like he'd touch a garden flower.

Sounds of despair came from Y/n in an effort to mask the little pleasure she was receiving from this violation.

Rafe was transfixed on her pink, plump skin. Every freckle, piece of hair and patch of discoloration made this artwork special. The tight feeling in his crotch telling him to hurry his admiration up. The lion wanted out of his cage; he's hungry.

Rafe smacked the girls bottom before unzipping and shedding his pants and boxers. Rafe felt the inside of y/n's shirt, enjoying the curve of her breast and plumpness of her nipples while his penis stood at attention.

"You're fucking beautiful. I hope it's alright that tonights mostly about me. We'll have a night for you soon but this first date is all about my dick getting to know the inside of you." Rafe said while using the tip to touch the delicate folds and skin.

He purposely spread the small bits of pre-cum on her intimate area as the first sign of marking before handling his shaft before the tip entered her cunt.

Rafe was struck with the feeling of heaven, not all the way in and yet his insides were purring away. He didn't want to wait anymore. He shoved forward without consideration for the girl underneath him. Fully sheathed inside, it was a five star stay at an exotic hotel where he'd be the only customer for the rest of his life.

"God, you feel so fucking good. Where have you been hiding princess?" Rafe asked, his large hand holding her down but his thumb gently rubbed her cheek before switching his movement to fully on.

In an aggressive thrust, Rafe began to move like a panther after his meal. There was no mercy in any movement. His heat, her slickness; his size, her submissiveness felt like they were one with human nature. For the first time, Rafe carnal desire was met with a romantic twist. The desire for a connection that meets both ways. He didn't know this woman; maybe she wasn't worth the effort.

But the way her pussy clenched around his dick made him think she was really meant to be him and he'd have to give Sarah props. This would be his girl, and if she behaved properly; a wife and mother.

But for right now, Rafe focused on fucking the shit out of her. He purposefully banged and hit as hard as he could. He wanted to see pain and pleasure. He grabbed her waist and brought her down to the base of his dick with little to no mercy. He wanted her fully with no space left unexplored by him.

The girls meek voice brought him back to reality, "Are you wearing a condom?" She asked, as if not wanting to upset him.

His eyes softened on the creature below him. She already had a small bruise forming under her eye where he'd harmed her. There was a sick pleasure in knowing that is his mark on her but he wasnt entirely a demon and felt some guilt.

Back on topic, no he wasnt wearing a condom; he didn't want to wear one with her. Rafe never had to deal with consequences because Ward would throw money at it, and it disappear.

Rafe didn't answer her; the panic added to feeling. He didn't owe her an answer. He decided he practically owned her now. Women in the past were just bodies; pleasure givers, holes at best. He always saw them as something to be conquered but with Y/n he wanted to own her; mind, body and soul.

Rafe sped up causing her to scream in both pleasure and pain. It only made Rafe feel hotter. Once he knew he had reached his limit, he bottomed out hard as he could; staying attached to the woman as long as he could before his size fell limp once more.

Looking down was a tearful girl trying to pick herself up after being violated. Before Rafe could do anything, she pushed him aside and fled the scene. Rafe looked after her but didnt follow, still feeling the blissful aftermath the coupling. No matter where she went, what she said or who she hid behind; Rafe would be there to claim her again.

This was a new game to him and he just casted the first dice.

*Note from author: sorry for this abomination. A mix of alcohol, horny and an actual desire to write something for the first time in almost a year hit and I didn't want to waste it*

[noellerain]

• Arabella [Luca Kaneshiro x fem!reader]

Warnings: smut, spitting, huge age difference (sixteen years), curse words, vague mentions of violence in Luca's past, implied sexual acts in ShuVox's part, Alban is Luca's nephew lol [please let me know if I missed some! Thank you!]

MINORS DNI!

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

It’s a summer night and the wind is hot and dry. Had he known how disastrous that date would be, he would’ve ditched it and opted to stay home with his little nephew. They would watch cartoons all night, or maybe set up the toys he bought for him a few days ago after a job well done at school. He’d be in his sweatpants, sipping root beer and he’d watch the little boy run around the living room, letting time pass by. Maybe– just maybe– you’d be there too.

But nope. He wore his best suit, and asked you to babysit his nephew until he comes back. He could only groan in regret while he walked briskly down the sidewalk. You came on time, just as you always did. You were out with your friends, you said. But you came as soon as he called. And while he subtly stared at your black crowning glory, a few strands caressed by Midas’s selfish hands, your round eyes that possibly held all the secrets of the universe and the way you bore your entirety with such grace, confidence and innocence… As if that wasn’t enough, you stood close to him, fixed his necktie and when he took a deep breath and smelled papayas in bloom, he swore that it made his head spin.

It’s wrong. He knows damn well it’s fucking wrong. You’re sixteen years younger than him, fresh out of college with your life ahead of you. And he’s old, way past his prime. He knows that and he sees that the first thing in the morning when he looks at his reflection on the mirror: his salt and pepper hair that he dyed a few times before eventually giving up, the wrinkles surrounding his eyes that were testaments to the laughters he had throughout his life, and even the tattoos that are symbols of fearlessness and his dominance in his organisation as a mafia boss had started to fade. The multiple scars, wounds and scabs he got on the job that represent each trial he had surpassed were now deeply embedded in him. So much that those became one with his skin.

He had a fair share of experiences when it comes to women. But what we had with those women is something different. Being the leader of his organisation, he had no time nor could hardly care less for a serious relationship. Those women were a one-time fun. Flavours of the month. Beautiful and confident women who knew what they wanted and who knew what he wanted. And the most important requirement? No strings attached.

He may sound crazy, and no one might believe him but the moment you moved in next door, befriended his menace of a nephew and could easily go inside their home and hop around the house wearing his large apron, clean up after the little boy and make his life bearable… no. Not bearable. In fact, in the last years he spent with different women who only wanted his deep pockets, women who slept with Mr. Kaneshiro and woke up with Luca, only you made life thrilling again.

He raked his fingers through his long, blonde hair before pressing the doorbell button situated at the side of the large gates. He glanced at his wristwatch that read 7:30 PM and he thought… Surely, they aren’t doing monkey business up there, yet?

He had been friends with four men for many years. They were there through the bestest and the toughest of times.The only thing is that three of them are now facing the greatest challenge in a human being’s life: the incessant and non-stop ticking of time.

The infamous detective had retired, enjoying the rest of his time. Every now and then, authorities get caught up in hard detective work and that’s when he’s summoned. The novelist is now living in a province with the love of his life. He’s still writing stories under aliases, his craft getting better like fine wine.

The other two… well, there’s a little secret about them.

“Good evening, Luca.”

He looked up and saw Shu. Unlike his physique that had seen better days, Shu still looks the same after all these years. Beguiling eyes and smooth porcelain skin… except now that he’s standing in front of him, wearing a loose haori in black and red ombre. His neck and collarbone were littered by red and purple marks, some of them are even bleeding. Luca could only groan and shake his head in disbelief.

“Shu, it’s freaking seven in the evening!”

Shu could only rub his forehead in embarrassment and chuckle lightly. “I’m sorry… it’s just, you know, Vox’s been–”

“I don’t want to know the details. Please– Please spare me from knowing, Shu.” Luca pleaded. Shu just nodded shyly and opened the gate a bit wider for Luca to go in. However, the blonde man seemed to hesitate.

“Nevermind, Shu. I… I’ll just…” he took a few steps backward, and that’s when Shu reached out his hand and squeezed Luca’s shoulder tight.

“Come on, Luca. Get in. Let us know what happened.”

This is not his first time visiting the household. But he always got chills whenever he stepped inside and saw the red and black interior of the house, with a touch of violet on the decorations. Their other two friends might have gotten used to what is now the status quo, but Luca is still adjusting and still can’t wrap his head on how, why, where and when his demon and sorcerer friends started knocking boots.

“Hello, big guy!” Vox greeted when he stepped out of the master’s bedroom, wearing a matching haori. His arms were widely opened when he walked towards Luca, immediately wrapping the blonde man in his arms. Luca shivered. He’s still cold to touch even after so many years but the embrace was tight and sincere, reminiscent of his father’s.

And just like Shu, Vox still looks the same. Smooth, porcelain skin, long black hair with streaks of red but this time, his eyes are in the pinkish colour rather than the usual red. When they met each other’s gaze, Vox’s eyes went soft. Just by the exhaustion plastered all over Luca’s face, he already had a gist of what happened.

“I’ll go get you some whiskey. Vox…” Shu looked at Vox. The demon immediately turned to his lover whose brows were deeply furrowed and his hands were clutching the sleeves of his haori. Vox could feel his tension hence, he gave him a reassuring smile before cupping his cheeks and planting a long kiss on the forehead to which Luca smiled at. So many years had passed… yet the love and warmth he felt from the two remained the same. He felt at home with the familiarity and kept it close to his chest.

“I got it from here, darling.” he whispered.

You were in the deepest part of the ocean. No, you weren’t drowning. You were just slowly being carried away by the currents, sinking deeper yet never reaching the rock bottom. You continued to drift in the darkness alone with the beating of your heart. It has always been like this, you thought. So often that you’ve become one with the darkness, and the water could no longer knock your breath away.

But suddenly, a light appeared at the surface. A hand dipped down the water, and using its firm yet gentle grasp, it held and pulled you up. Your eyes shot open, consciousness gradually coming back to your body. You looked up and saw him. You felt his hand on your shoulder, thumb pressing on the straps of your summer dress. He’s blocking the harsh light coming from the lightbulb, and in his position, little strands of hair that couldn’t be tied in a ponytail, were falling.

Luca. The voice inside your mind rolled his name out gently. Your mouth hung ajar, taking little sips of air to fill your clenched lungs.

“Good evening. Why did you sleep here? You could’ve used the guest bedroom, you know.” he asked, his voice the perfect amalgamation of hoarse and smooth. Deep and light.

You looked around and saw that the television was still on… Oh goodness. What time is it? You brought your hands to your eyes and rubbed them while you slowly stood up. He retracted his hand on your shoulder and sat down next to you on the sofa, watching every little move you make.

“I was just watching this… uh, drama while waiting for you. I didn’t even notice that I fell asleep already.” you explained in the middle of a yawn. “Alban has been excited since I came to babysit. We played all day and he helped me cook– oh, right. Did you already have dinner? We cooked some tonkatsu.”

Luca looked at you for a few seconds before he slowly shook his head, a shadow of a smile appearing on his lips. With that, you stood up and went to the kitchen to heat up leftovers. He stayed on the sofa, eyes following every sway of your dress’s hem, while the conversation he had with Vox kept playing in his head over and over and over again.

“I knew right off the bat that all she wants is money.” he explained to Vox while he sipped on his glass of three fingers of rye whiskey.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Luca.” Vox gently said. “Would you perhaps want me to ask my beloved to make you a love potion?”

Luca fell into a pit of laughter. “What?”

“No, I’m serious. We can talk to him right now and he can make you a potion that could attract women who are dead serious in finding love just like you. My darling is that amazing.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t want that, Vox.” Luca told him, shaking his head. “I… you know. I want what you have.”

The sudden confession made the demon’s eyes go a tad bit wide. He pursed his lips, contemplating his friend’s words while Luca downed the rye in one go. Moments passed and the demon uncrossed his legs and walked towards Luca, who was leaning against the counter.

“You know…” Vox trailed off, looking quite unsure on where he should start. “That was flattering. It really is. But for me, buddy, I think… I think you already have it. I think you’re just looking at the wrong places.”

Luca felt his heart skip a beat. He knew what and who Vox was talking about. Slowly, then rapidly, he shook his head, shutting down the possibility as quickly as possible. “No, Vox. It’s just… you know. It’s awkward. She has a life ahead of her. I don’t want her to be with a pathetic old man like me. Everyone is going to say something. There’s only so much I can filter and protect her from.”

To which Vox replied with a smirk, “Luca, I didn’t mention anyone.”

The demon patted the blonde’s shoulder, whose lips sealed in an instant, and said, “I know. Everyone is going to say something. It’s natural, especially we’re beings that are capable of thinking. And just like me, there’s only so much I can protect my beloved from. But you know… I would rather die protecting him than not being by his side at all.”

“Luca?” You called out while waving your hands in front of his face. He seemed to be in a deep thought for a few seconds before he finally blinked, and looked at you with those soft, jet-black eyes that made your heart squeeze.

“I… the food is ready. Don’t you wanna eat?” You asked. He didn’t say anything. He just smiled and stood from his seat. You swallowed the lump in your throat and boldly grabbed his hand that was limply hanging on his side.

“Come on, it’s good! Alban said he made it with lots of love!” you exclaimed and dragged him towards the kitchen, pushing down the bubbling giddiness and warmth surrounding your stomach. His hands were bigger than yours, rough and coarse. But they felt warm, comforting… safe.

“Sit, sit, sit!” You urged him to the table where a plate of steaming rice and tonkatsu sat, waiting for him.

You noticed that he remained standing, looking at you. For the past year that you’ve moved in and became close with his nephew and him, you’ve always thought that there’s something about him that’s so bright. The brightness that reminds you of the sun each day you wake, its beautiful and majestic beams pouring through your window.

He may be a tall, large man who intimidated Alban’s playground friends, but he is the same man who gave up many things just to keep his nephew safe. You know what he’s capable of– heck, he was a mafia boss. He sat down with you on the sofa and confessed what you needed to know over glasses of white wine a few months ago. And though you may not know how the mafia works, you know that it’s dirty business, and a roll of dice can cost you more than you paid for. You’ve seen enough movies and read too many books to have an idea how dangerous and dark it is.

But he was a mafia boss.

It was in the past. Bygones be bygones. Because right now, he’s just the fun uncle who accompanies his nephew to school events, joins the mom community in their zumba and yoga sessions, and the neighbour who was kind enough to help you unload boxes during your moving day. He was the one who helped you with your resume and recommended you companies to apply for, the one who made sure you walk on the safe side of the road, the one who ditched his date just to fetch you from work while it was raining and the traffic was heavy, the one who takes note of the little things about you and remembers them, the one who makes you laugh with his incredibly different sense of humour, the one whom you can sit with for hours, talk with or be with in a comfortable silence just watching TV or watching Alban play, and the one who sat down and opened his heart to you– took your hand, and walked you through his past that was inked with blood, the stench of sins that were masked by the scent of lavender and baby powder. He showed you how the big transition of his life took place and told you about the peaceful future he’s working on.

God, the urge to say out loud to him how much you wanted to be a part of that future he’s talking about. To stop looking for someone because you’re right here.

“I see you,” he whispered. You looked at him, face contorted in a frown. You didn’t quite catch what he had said. He only smiled and said once more, “I see you, my Arabella.”

Then he brought his face close to yours. Your eyes almost crossed by the proximity. You can smell the pungency of alcohol, and his scent of musk and wood. And in a matter of four deafening heartbeats, you felt his lips softly land on yours.

Your head spun. What? What was happening?

He wanted to say sorry. Sorry for not being able to keep it in but he also wants you to know that he tried his best for the past months. How it took him almost everything to stop his fingers from tracing the curve of your nose, the bow of your lips, and your nape down to the arch of your back.

He ran his fingers on your scalp, your hair gliding in between his fingers. Your lips tasted of strawberries and rosé, a flavour so intoxicating and dizzying. He cupped your jaw, pressed harder– wanting more and more of that sweet taste while he whispered, “Sorry, ‘m sorry, baby.”

You’ve always thought that it must’ve felt like seeing stars. Blinding light in your eyes, your tight grasp to rationality slowly letting go as you transcend higher to the skies, away from the ground. You couldn’t be anymore wrong.

It was messy. Your lips were swollen by the time you felt the cushion behind your back. The hair tie that was keeping his hair in a ponytail was long gone, strands of his golden locks tickling your flushed skin while his lips smothered wet kisses on your navel. Your summer dress was discarded on the stairs, and he impatiently ripped the white, button-down shirt he’s wearing. He threw it across the room, left to gather the floating dust coming from the moonlight spilling through the window.

It was uncomfortable. Your arms were crossed, legs shut. Your eyes were closed, not daring to look him in the eye. This isn’t how you imagined your first time to be. You wanted it to be certain, and you laid there with a bit of sanity left, wondering in fear of what happens after.

“Hey, hey.” he called, his voice gentle and soft. His hands cupped your jaw, thumbs caressing the apples of your cheeks. “Open your eyes, baby. Look at me.”

And you did look at him, threatening tears blurring your vision. You put your hands on top of his, cheeks snuggling to the base of his palms. “I… I just don’t want to give you something–”

“It’s okay, baby,” he whispered. “It’s okay. You don’t have to. I love you and we can stop here if you want. It’s okay, baby. I love you and we’ll figure things out, okay?”

You felt hot tears sliding down your cheeks, his fingers were quick to wipe them away. Without inhibitions and hesitations, your hands reached out for his jaw, his stubble tickling your fingers. You pulled him close and kissed him ferociously and longingly. Your legs started to relax and soon felt yourself open up, his chocolate-dipped fingers leaving butterfly kisses on your inner thighs. You felt him in, and you fought real hard to hold his gaze. Memorise him. Take pictures with your mind, prove to yourself it isn’t a dream.

He wanted to seize you with his hands and embed his body in yours. Til your bodies become one– he would crawl on your skin and bask in your warmth, be close to your heart and savour its every beat.

His hands situated on the plush of your thighs, fingers squeezing the smooth, plump flesh. His eyes were in daze, staring at you while your lips went down on each wound and scar that he once tried to hide from you. Yet here you are, planting light kisses on each one, reminding him that those scars are his and that there’s nothing to be ashamed of because regardless, he’s loved and accepted. Your fingers delicately traced each line and curve of his tattoos which are symbols of his bravery and the representations of his positions in that society, a world you’ve never been before.

He sat up, held you by the waist and pulled you close until your bodies were almost combined. His lips sank into the nook of your neck, each suck and bite knocked your breath away. Your fingers combed his long hair and gathered a few strands once you reached the ends. You brought those golden strands to your lips, gently pecking and inhaling their scent. You lightly chuckled once the sweetness of the flowers wafted through your nose.

“Hmm?” he hummed after hearing your small laugh and feeling the light vibration of your body. You shook your head and pressed a kiss at the top of his head.

“Nothing, sweetheart. For a big, tough man, you smell rather sweet.”

“I’m a big tough man?” he asked, eyes shining in awe. It reminded you of an adorable and energetic golden retriever. You threw your head back in laughter before nodding, arms wrapping around his neck.

“Yes, you’re my big, tough man, Luca.”

His eyes were tightly shut, his body almost close to convulsing while he held the back of your knees while your feet were hung in the air. Fuck, fuck. Strings of profanities bombarded his mind while he held you close, trying his best to calm down and not scare you. But how the fuck could he do that when you’re this fucking tight? He held to that last string of sanity he has like his life depended on it, reminding himself to take it easy.

“Slowly, please…” you begged, lips buried on the flesh of his shoulder. Your hands are on his back, freshly-painted nails digging his skin. In the middle of it all, you have half a mind to suppress the noises coming out of your mouth, in fear that Alban, who was sleeping next door, might hear.

But there’s only so much you can do. Because when his hips started to snap, and your breath was knocked away, body bobbing up and down– fuck– you lost it. No, there were no stars that appeared and shone brightly in your eyes. What you’ve seen were his jet-black eyes that held your gaze while he continued his ministrations slowly.

“Come on, baby. Hold on to me, yeah?”

“Hmm.” you hummed and melted into his arms, your hips started to snap in sync with his. You heard him groan, which– heavens above– made your insides clench. You took it as a cue to continue and go faster, meeting him halfway through.

It was too much. By the time you reached the one hour mark, the blanket you stuffed in your mouth was dripping wet. Your voice is long gone at the back of your mind, throat dry from the lewd noises that never faltered to slip out for the past hour. Your head is spinning, body spent and filled to the brim. But you refused to let go, legs tightly wrapped around his waist while he bent you in half, his eyes never leaving yours as he kept a faster pace and rhythm. His one hand was encircled on your neck, while the other was cupping your cheeks.

Your throat started to itch and in a desperate attempt and twisted plea, you opened your mouth wide, tongue slipping out, begging for a drop of water in the middle of Sahara. He understood, puckered his lips and spitted. The thick blob of saliva fell on your tongue– tastes like whiskey– and you swallowed hard, an act that made him go even more feral.

You laid down on the bed, time suddenly became an unknown concept while your eyes went in and out of focus. You heard the door creak, and you wanted to turn your head and look at him but your body felt like it wasn't yours anymore: tear-stained cheeks, limp arms, sore legs and aching back. The euphoria was now dissipated, replaced by the kind of silence that was slightly nagging, begging to be acknowledged. He came into your vision and even though it hurt, you couldn’t help but to smile. He reached for your hair and fixed some of the mess before wiping your entire body with a wet cloth.

His hands, big and calloused, dipped in experience and blood suddenly became like Alban’s. Clumsy, shaky… heck, even a little queasy. While he was washing the cloth, he still couldn’t believe what just happened. He could still feel the softness of your lips, the intensity of your gaze, your scent all over him that smelled like ylang-ylang. And heavens… the small whimpers and moans that he had secretly wondered and thought about before… Still, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. It was supposed to be one kiss and a confession. How did it end up like this?

“Sorry.” he whispered while he wiped your stomach using the warm cloth.

“Hmm?” you hummed, way too out of it to even comprehend what he had said.

He retracted his hand and looked at you again. God. Even if your hair’s a mess, your body is marked with his tattooed kisses, you still look so beautiful. A goddess. Or maybe an angel sent from above that he doesn't deserve. In a low whisper, he said: “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” you asked in a tiny voice, your eyes starting to blink slowly. Hypnos had arrived, and was slowly cradling you in his arms.

“I didn’t… I’m sorry. I really am. I wanted you to know how much I love you yet–”

“I love you too.” You said with what’s left of your voice. Once those words came out, your heart almost burst into millions of butterflies, lifting the heavy load up, up and away.

His eyes went wide, mind slowly registering what you just said. Soon, a smile slowly creeped in on his face. You couldn’t help but break into a smile, too. God. If you could only move your arms, you’d pull him in for a tight hug and whisper to his ears that you love him, how much you care for him and Alban, and that he made you feel so, so loved and cared for tonight more than all of the men you’ve gone out with for the past years combined.

“So don’t say sorry, okay? I’m really, really tired and sleepy, Luca… but I love you, okay? I love you and we’ll figure it out…”

Those were the last words that came out of your mouth before you slipped into the darkness and fell. He pulled the blanket up and laid down next to you. Strange. The bed used to feel huge, and no matter how much he covered himself using either a blanket or a duvet, it never felt this warm.

Your hands immediately grabbed onto him, your cheek pressing against his chest. And when his palms held the arch of your back, you felt cold to touch. He pulled you even closer, tangled his legs with yours… Then while he waited for sleep to come, he stared at your peaceful sleeping face, in awe of how tiny you looked in his arms.

Finally, after so many months of hesitations, and searching in the wrong places, he finally has someone whom he shall treasure with the entirety of his heart, along with Alban. Someone who listened to him, didn’t berate and leave him even after knowing his past. He finally has someone who cares for him and Alban, someone he’d be delighted and absolutely honoured to care for, love for, and spend the rest of his life with… oh, wait. That’s looking too far in the future. But he’d let you know tomorrow morning how he intends to make it come true.

He pressed a kiss at the top of your head and inhaled your scent, wishing it would linger on the sheets, on the pillowcases and on him.

“I love you. I love you and thank you, my Arabella.”

•••

Noelle: AO3 saw this first teehee :D [inspired by the song Arabella of Arctic Monkeys]

Thank u for reading!!! 🥹

©noellerain

[fishsticksloser]

A one shot of Donnie x female reader

Reader is getting annoyed by this one classmate who keep asking her out and whenever she refuses he says " you're in love you just don't realize it ", until one day he take a sensitive picture of her and blackmail her to come with him in his apartment, that where Donnie explode and decide to take things into his hands.

The reason Donnie hadn't step in was because reader thought this 'classmate' wasn't worth the trouble until it escalated to this.

Purple Vengeance

Donnie x fem!reader

Warnings: aged up characters, stalker, inappropriate photos, blackmail, vengeance, happy ending

A/N: Donnie is probably the best person to go to in this situation. Bad guy's name is Ransom just cause. Please note that there are disturbing themes, please be careful!

You went to the lair, in search of your purple branded boyfriend. Partially because you had homework you didn't understand and he was always able to make it make sense... And because you needed to vent about some guy who kept hitting on you, not taking 'no' as an answer. It had been going on for a few months, you tried to just ignore him, but today he said something that made you feel sick.

"You're in love with me, you just don't realize it." Ransom's words echoed in your head. There was something malicious about it. Creepy, unsettling, dispiteous. You had to tell Donnie, hopefully he'd know if some way to keep Random away from you.

"Hey, Donnie?" You knock on the door of his lab, peeking in.

"You got out of class early!" Donnie smiles, spinning in his chair to face you. His smile turns into a frown, eyebrows drawn down. "Is everything okay?"

"No..." You almost burst into tears, you were scared. You walked over to him.

"Darling, tell me everything." He grabs your hands, pulling you into his lap.

You told him. He nodded, he knew about Ransom and his antics. Donnie made a plan, he would put something on your phone so you could tell him if you were being followed. It'd ping your location and he could come help you.

It worked... For a while, a few weeks past. Ransom kept bothering you, but he made no attempt to follow you back to your dorm. Or so you thought.

You got a text from a random number with pictures from the street, you were naked. You knew it was Ransom. It had to be, no one else paid you much attention. He threatened to share the photos if you didn't go out with him, but he was generous enough to give you till morning to decide.

"He had pictures of me." You cried into your phone. "He said he'd share them..."

"Let me handle this... Okay?" Donnie spits, you could hear the absolute rage in his voice. "I'll be over in a little, promise."

30 minutes later, Donnie stood in front of your door with his purple hoodie and some black pants. He squeezed past you. He looked around your dorm and then pulled you into a tight hug.

He stayed the night.

In the morning, you were called to the Dean's office. You walk in seeing Ransom, 2 police officers, 2 people you could only assume were Ransom's parents, and a few other girls. The Dean invited you to sit with the other women and he told you how he received information that Ransom had been blackmailing multiple girls on campus by taking inappropriate pictures of them without their knowledge.

Donnie was worried about leaving you alone, especially since Ransom's dorm was just across the courtyard. You cried... A lot, He wasn't sure what to do or say, but he held you.

⋆｡ ﾟ｡☁︎👾｡ ﾟ｡⋆

You all showed the texts you received, with the phone number and threats still attached. Ransom's photo album was investigated and found to have the same photos, but taken earlier than any of you had received them. Meaning this was all premeditated. On top of the fact that the phone number you received the threats was infact his own.

He was expelled. His parents disowned him. And... He went to prison.

You and the other girls were excused from classes for the day.

You went back to your dorm, you needed to talk to Donnie. Thankfully he was sitting on your bed still.

"Is everything okay?" He asks.

"You..." You tried to find words to tell him how relieved you were. "You... Did this?"

"After he's put away, I set it up to make sure all the photos - even the other girls' - will be permanently deleted." He shrugged. "There will be nothing to scavenge for."

"Thank you." You kiss his snout.

"You're not upset?" Donnie questions.

"Why would I be mad? He's gone. He can't hurt me anymore."

What Donnie didn't tell you is that he went a little rage crazy. Ransom's boss, coworkers, friends, all of his family, and whole hometown know what he's done. Plus, everytime a future employer tries to look up Ransom, they'll not only see his criminal record, but a list of all the things he did (since he's just going to jail for blackmail).

[cissyenthusiast010155]

I’m Here, My Love ~Motherly!Soft!Agnes van Rhijn xFem Younger(30s)!ClosetedLesbian!Reader

Summary— Agnes has always had a soft spot for Reader. And the older woman is always there in Readers times of need.

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: Angst, little fluff, age gap (all legal), crying, implied anxiety attack, arranged marriage, pregnancy, closeted sexuality, physical comfort, kisses, etc.

Enjoy (;

You were Oscar’s best friend from childhood. Both of you having realized you were gay and had somewhat similar struggles, held a strong friendship.

The big difference?

Your family had forced you to marry another old money New York misogynist asshole.

One rough fight in a particular between you and your husband brought you to the Van Rhijn doorstep. Tears were flowing down your cheeks, your eyes stained, your hair messy, as you waited for the door to be answered from your knock. But instead of Oscar, it was Mrs. Van Rhijn who answered.

“Oh Dear, Y/N, are you quite alright…?” The older woman as concerningly.

You had practically grown up in the Van Rhijn household, always trying to escape from your own home.

Agnes urged you to come inside, guiding you past the hallway and into the living room. Aunt Ada and Miss Marian were sitting in the lounge, having some afternoon tea.

At the sight of you, both women stood up and immediately flocked to your side. Agnes tutted them to give you some room, guiding you to sit down on the couch next to her. Her hand rested on your back, as she comforted you. Aunt Ada and Miss Marian started chattering with questions and concern.

“Ladies. Please…” Agnes sternlywarned the women to calm down.

She then turned to you with a look at you, her face softening with concern.

“What happened, my love, hmmm…?” Agnes whispered, tucking a stray strand of hair to the side and behind your ear.

Marian’s eye widened a little at how soft and caring Agnes was being. She hadn’t lived here long, but she had never known Agnes to be anything but stern and direct. But not with you…? It perplexed Marian.

But Marian didn’t know your struggle. Agnes did. Agnes had seen you struggle with your desires since you were a little girl. She had seen you forced into a marriage you hadn’t consented to. She had seen you go through suffering, yet keep your head up nonetheless.

Agnes respected your strong will. And you hers. And this rarely happened. In all the thirty four years that Agnes had known you, you had only ever cried once. The night before your weeding…

“I… I— mmmm” you chocked out, trying to get your words out, but struggling through your sobs.

Agnes’ hand circled your back comfortingly.

At that moment, some of the servants of the house came upstairs to see what the commotion was about. Agnes quickly shooed them away. Then afterwards, she sent Miss Marian out as well. This now gave you, Agnes, and Aunt Ada more privacy.

“Breathe, Y/N, breath…” she reminded you, “Take a deep breath and talk to me…”

“Y/N Dear, talk to us…” Ada cooed caringly.

Ada always had an easier time with sympathy and care. It just came more naturally to the woman than her sister. Agnes nodded in agreement to Ada’s words.

Just as Agnes was nodding, you felt a wave of nausea hit you. You groaned and Ada’s eyes widened, understanding. She ran and grabbed a bucket, and you grabbed it swiftly before emptying out your entire stomache into the bucket. Your groaned, and Agnes quickly helped to clean you up. This only concerned the women even more.

“I didn’t… didn’t want it…” you whimpered, “didn’t—didn’t want it…”

The sisters furrowed their brows lightly. Your stomache gurgled and you placed your hand in front of you mouth, trying to suppress your nausea.

“Oh god…” you groaned, “I… didn’t want— no no don’t want…”

Agnes’ eyes widened as you swayed back and forth next to her. It clicked for her. She looked over to confused Ada and suggestively made eye contact, then looked towards your stomache, then made eye contact with her sister once more. Ada’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened. She silently mouthed and oh and covered her mouth.

“Sweetheart, are you… with child…?” Ada asked gently.

At her words, you started sobbing again. Agnes rubbed your back a little faster and began shushing you.

“Shhhh, Y/N, we can’t have the whole block hearing you…” Agnes whispered softly.

“I— sorry… hic! um yes, I am…” you stammered, lowering your voice but accidentally hiccuping in the middle of your statement.

You swiftly wiped the tears away from your face, and went to try and fix your hair. Agnes telling to you quiet down sent reality back into you.

“I’m sorry for coming, I’m sorry for all of this…” you muttered, moving away from Agnes’ touch, “I’m simply overreacting…”

You knew your words weren’t true deep down, but on the surface, you believed them…

“Hush now, child.” Agnes shook her head and stopped your from pulling away, “Now, I’m going to set you up in the guest room for tonight, where you used to stay when you were young. You remember?—”

You bit your lip, your eyes starting to water again, and nodded.

“Good. And then you are to eat dinner with us and sleep here for the night. Tomorrow morning, when you are more level headed, you and I will have a longer conversation about this…”

You hiccuped again and nodded.

“Thank you” you whispered.

“Nonsense. It’s the least we could do. Now, you will unfortunately need to inform your husband…” Agnes softly said.

Alarm bells started to go off. You started to shake and were about ready to start sobbing again. Luckily, Ada then stepped in and offered to send a letter to explain that you had gotten sick while having dinner and were gonna plan to stay the night. Agnes agreed to this, then standing up to call for the servants to have your room prepared.

Ada began to write the letter right away, And once your room was ready, Agnes took you by the arm and guided you upstairs. She let you into your old room, leaning close and giving you a kiss on your forehead.

“Sleep for now, my love. I’ll come get you in time for dinner…” Agnes hummed softly.

You nodded and thanked the older woman once more.

~~~

Agnes Van Rhijn Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

[hazbinextgeneration]

Demon Bride Ch10 All In A Name P3

(WARNINGS AND DISCLAIMERS!!! EVERYONE in this story is in their early 20s-30s! This story will contain mentions of past abuse and death! I'll be keeping it as SFW. Some backstories have been slightly altered for this particular story, and some characters cannonically dead or harmed is alive and well. I own nothing.

Credit to @flanelltees​ for the designs I based the demons off to look more demon-like with tails and pointed ears.

This story will be sfw, but there will be some blood, implied death, fighting, some gore mentioned, and a few other things that will be made aware by warnings. Pay attention to warnings at the top of any chapters just under the summery please.)

Once in the mountain villages it was a custom that once a year on the night of the new year's first moon, an unlucky young lady would be selected and left for the demons to become one of the unlucky few who married such a husband. In exchange for this offering the demons would protect the villages and leave the humans in peace. Until one day a powerful warrior drove the demons away freeing the humans of them. Now 2,000 years later, it's become a tradition that once a year, a new young lady would be picked and wait for her future husband to retrieve her from a shrine in the mountains. And now the lucky tradition would fall upon Y/n L/n. It would be her own turn to take on the tradition and not have to worry about demons. After all that part of the old tradition was just fake, made up by paranoid ancestors. Everyone knew demons didn't exist.

...Right?

(WARNINGS!!!:  Some cussing, Mentioning of reader's fractured leg, death/implied death, fighting which will include some wounds and mentioning of wounds and a demon's hand being cut off.  )  

First Part Here:

https://at.tumblr.com/hazbinextgeneration/demon-bride-ch-1-thus-it-begins/dibtpmvn5d42

Last Part Here:

https://www.tumblr.com/hazbinextgeneration/713597692878766080/demon-bride-ch9-all-in-a-name-p2?source=share

Next Part Here:

https://www.tumblr.com/hazbinextgeneration/716769330504876033/demon-bride-ch11-interluding?source=share

Quiet night. Unholy night of beasts. Feasting their sights upon the stray women who dare stay out at night when the full moon rises, lighting the pathway for the beasts to claim their prey. Gnashing teeth, snarling fangs waiting to take a bite into innocent flesh where the terrible claws miss. Waiting to snatch you away down into their dark abyss never to return.

The bark of trees felt rough against the palm of grey skin, perfect to blending into shadows and walking along the darkness of the cursed trees that beckoned any unknowing traveler further into their branches. A light step. Another light step. Light enough to not be heard by anyone my dear. A quiet mouse amongst the darkness a contrast to the many others in the surroundings. Many preferred brute force by tooth and nail, fang and claw to drag off their unwilling prey in the name of twisted love they've come to claim or give. Ears perked just now hearing the far off wails that sounded like some sick love sick beasts. A whoop of triumph from the lungs of some lucky beasts who was able to stake a claim on some poor soul that accepted their twisted gift of love. Dark black claws dug into the harsh bark of the thick plant that would otherwise not feel the pain it would usually cause another living thing. An aura of annoyance flooding forth from the source of the claws, and the darkness only received a scoff, as blue eyes as dangerous as the bottomless ocean looked up towards the sky, towards the source of the happy wails from far into the trees' abyss of darkness.

"Tch. Dam fools. They act like dogs in heat! The lot of them!" A voice. As rough as it was envious. The idiots. No brains at all. Now all that celebrating would do was attract others towards him in wanting to fight him for the claimed prize he just received. He knew that was the case entirely because many a shadowy beasts was already flocking towards that noise. "They have no dam senses to them!"

Fools. All of them fools. They should've quietly snuck away when they had the chance. But then again he couldn't expect any of them to be close to the intelligence he held. Whatever. He wasn't out here to watch the rabid fighting of fools, as entertaining as it was to watch others rip either apart. No. He had something else long thought over he wanted to be done with. And it all started with the wind. And the air filling his lungs. And a sweet scent that wafted within both.

Huh....That was different. Not one he was often met with, but one he was familiar with.

One he liked very much.

But why would one such as this be this close to the forbidden areas?...Unless someone carried it with them. Either way it was something that had gained his attention, and even if it was nothing, there might be fun had in seeing why this was there. And so light steps approached the direction of the scent, back against the few remaining lights of the setting sun. Step after step as the scent grew stronger and the forest less dense around him which was the more interesting part to it. It was the more confusing part of all about it really. After all-

"No peaches should be this dam close."

He recognized that scent now. It was one he often craved and made his mouth water, but one thing he could barely have as it was out of bounds of the forest line. Often he could catch the faintest of their scent from further down the mountain where he was sure a plethora of them grew, but he could never see for himself. But sometimes on rare occasions he worked hard enough to please his master, he would be rewarded with the succulent fruits of his labor. The soft fruit being devoured within seconds before being missed again. Perhaps it was someone else who had gotten their claws on them? If so he'd cut them down and take what he wanted as a prize for disobeying the one law no one shall disobey without permission from the Master. And he would rectify it. Then maybe he'd be rewarded with more fruits for his loyalty. The thought excited him. Maybe this night wouldn't be such a dull fest after all. The scent lead until the tree line forbiddily broke and it left him standing there cloaked in darkness as the last few rays of sunset left the world, and saw nothing. After just a moment of standing against the wind he cursed himself for being stupid enough to even entertain the goose chase that was this night. He cursed this night, and his luck and the stupid hope of rewards. He would've turned around and disappeared back into the shadows if it weren't for one thing that made him pause in his actions.

A ghost in the night.

A white shining in the dark up the pathway that lead away which lead the sweet scent of fruit with it. Odd. What was that? He hadn't see something like that before. Not around here and especially not at night, but there was visibly something there. Alive and moving within the moonlight. Well, well. Now what was this he wondered? His curiosity got the better of him. After all he did have nothing better to do than to follow from the shadows and get close enough to see what exactly this strange new oddity was. And the end result was what surprised him the most. The white movable object was indeed a living being, not a ghost or figment of the light like he suspected. But...it was not an animal either which was what both confused him more. It was a woman. No older than him, maybe by just a year or two in her early twenties, judging by how young and beautiful her form looked. This was...intriguing. And quite the interest. It was-..

"Human."

This was not a topic lost on him. He heard many tales of the humans from his Master's engagements with them and Douma's countless rambles (that often gave him headaches-) and he had even seen one although rarely if ever. Master's wife was human. Their child was human. He sometimes saw them when the Master made mandatory meetings or surprise inspections. The woman was...Kind. He was indifferent about the Master's choice in mate, as he didn't know her enough to have an opinion other than she was a lovely woman in appearance. And sometimes if he walked near the edge of the forest at the right time, he'd see humans traveling along the roads but he could never get this close or ever saw a sight stranger than a long young human woman walking by herself at night, especially tonight of all nights. Unless she-... No. It couldn't be. A-...

"An offering?"

A tempting. Young offering of scents that caught his interest and tempted him enough to follow. Yes. A nice offering for a nice night. Oh how the tides have turned in his interest. He began following this 'ghost in the night' half out of interest to the sweet and half out of boredom as there has really been nothing interesting happening tonight that Akaza wasn't able to (annoyingly) handle himself by getting there before he did. And he wouldn't be judged surely if he was just checking out this seemingly random traveler walking about at night none the less. It was highly stranger and maybe even suspicious, so he set off silently following the lost looking human woman wondering the paths. He only assumed she was lost as she shivered against the night's wind and dug her hands harder against the strap of your bag. Every so often she'd whip her head around wide eyed and looked directly at him, but because he was cloaked in darkness so well she never saw him, and only shook her head and continued walking on. It amused him slightly that she couldn't blatantly see him looking right dead at her, but what was to be expected from a human?....He had to admit though.

She WAS cute.

Soft looking skin. Neatly dressed clothes. Pretty f/c hair. And gentle looking f/c eyes. And a simple look that all humans seemed to have. Or at least what he's heard of.

Akaza spoke often of a woman's beauty seriously and showed great disgust towards some specific colleges of theirs who agreed with his statement but in a perverted way. Honestly he couldn't be bothered to think about such things too much. That foolish thinking would only hold him back! Hender his training! And such a thing would make him look pathetically weak!! And he HATED being weak. Plus women were annoying! That was a literal fact! Every YEAR he had to break up countless fights, taking up so much of his time, and waste his time when the same thing happened all over again two seconds later once his back was turned! The women he helped weren't even grateful just fleeing or getting angry that he dared interrupt a fight over HER and sometimes attacked himself. Ugh! Nothing about them was 'cute'. Especially that Daki woman! She had her brother practically wrapped around her finger, when they weren't arguing that is, and she was as bratty and vain as they come! And Susamaru- OH! Don't get him started on that piece of work! She was always so annoying just throwing her toy balls everywhere trailed by Yahaba who did nothing to stop her! And girls always made men go nuts! Lose all sense of thought! No. No. He was always better off without them. The only one he sort of liked was Nakime because she was serious and non nonsense like his Sensei. Other than that, he could care less about them!!

....But on the other hand-

The Master's wife was...gentle. Kind. Softer than anyone else he's ever met. She was...quite a contrast to the Master in both looks and personality, and he'd be lying if he didn't say he wasn't once envious of him for having a beautiful wife like her. Ever since the Master met and married his wife a few years back he had been more...lenient. Not very much, but it that woman's impact certainly saved himself from a few harsher punishments he would've received otherwise if she hadn't impacted the Master's life. So whatever impact she had on him, it made a noticeable difference (sometimes).  So maybe human women had some kind of talent he wasn't aware of. However this human woman seemed quite pathetic.

At one point she passed by a fork in the road and went deeper into the mountain until she stopped sometime in the early night and looked lost. Well what was he expecting? Humans had zero night vision. But at one point she pulled out what he assumed to be a map and looked over it. At least she had enough smarts to do that. The wind was still blowing however, and it wasn't long until the map was blown from her hands, into the woods, and like an idiot!! She ran right after it. Into the forest.

The forest filled with demons hunting for a mate desperately. The forest no one was allowed in. The forest which HE was supposed to make sure no one entered.

.......Oh Crap-

Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap-

OH CRAP!!

"Shit!"

He was going to be in SO much trouble!! He'd be punished worse than the time he accidentally sliced his Sensei's ponytail off!! She wasn't supposed to be in here! Stupid humans! Ok. Remain calm. No matter. All he had to do was literally grab and toss her back out before anyone knew! Yeah! Easy peasy. No one would even know, and he'd avoid being in any trouble! He'd even scare her just to make sure she didn't get any ideas of coming back! It would be as easy as hunting a blind deer! Nothing he couldn't handle! After all it was just one simple human.

....Oh how his problems loved to get bigger.

Because he didn't find her at all. Not at first at least. He followed her scent but he couldn't pinpoint her exactly which was starting to get him worried. Maybe he HAD been just seeing things from being overworked or bored to death. That was until he heard a scream. A very loud, high pitched, woman's scream! That had him snapping his head up against the wind in the direction of where it echoed out from, which was followed by a second just as scared shriek just moments later. Which could only mean one thing and he was dreading it-

"SHIT!!"

Some idiot HAD ended up finding that human! If she wasn't tossed out of here, it'd be his head! He was thankful for the extra speed training his sensei made him do, strengthening his legs and lungs in order to handle more speed and get to places faster. He still had a long way to go before he matched the speed of someone like Akaza, but it should be enough to get done what he needed to get done. And then he ended up smelling it again. That unmistakable sweet scent of fruit. That must've been the human because he only smelt this fruit when he was watching the human anyways. The wind and branches creaked past his black body darting between the grabbing branches and wind that howled with laughter seeming to taunt him for his blunder. Made him snarl and grit his fangs harder. Dammit! He followed that sweet scent until he skidded to a stop, a small cloud of dirt falling up from his feet sliding into place in the black dirt, came to a small cluster of dark trees only to find..nothing. Not a soul. But the scent was all over the small place, along with one other which smelt foul. Another male. And he could see an imprint in the dirt, as if something large fell from someplace high above. Dammit! Was the human attacked by an ambush? He wasn't sure. All that he knew was that she got away because the sweet scent was faintly head off into the west direction, and the foul smell followed, which obviously indicated a chase was given. Ah! F his life! This was going to be a long night! But none the less he growled and just ended up sprinting again after them. Dam human! Dam season! DAM ALL OF THIS!!! He was about ready to cut someone in half!! The wind was blowing away most of the already faint peach scent but he was lucky enough to be graced with yet another girly shriek of terror from just up ahead. Good. That was close. REAL CLOSE!! If fact, it was so close, he could hear a voice already-

"Stupid woman! SHUT UP!," a man's voice bellowed out, "Are you trying to alert others!? Dammit! You'll be a terrible mother."

Dark tree past dark tree. Weaving past darkness and limbs and lungs heavy with air whirled around by the wind. The vision appeared of a small innocent white ghost of the night and a sin daring to attempt to snuff it out for it's own needs. The trees couldn't hide that from him. Adrenaline pumping. Viens bunching up as a black tsuka of a katanna was grabbed, burnt to the touch as the rumbling of thunder was parting the whirling, taunting, laughing wind to make way for an electrical storm that bubbled through his blood vessels and gave the needed power to metal to become the lightning strike that shook the scene before him.

"Stop struggling! It's futile! There's no escape-"

SHING!!

A metal sound. A shine of silver in the dark. A dash of shadow. And a strike of thunder.

It all happened too fast and too dark for her mind to comprehend what happened. All that she knew was that one moment she were pinned against a tree and the next dropped to the ground like a rock, landing with a loud thud. A loud inhuman half screech half animal cry pierced the air and crimson liquid splattered across the dark. The cry echoed across the darkness, and was cut short when a powerful foot kicked out and struck the handless demon in the chest, knocking him back. And his form went flying back into the darkness only to be swallowed again and disappear, the red trailing after him, the only sounds to be heard was broken branches and then a loud thud and then the silence resumed once more.

"Dam idiots."

He stood there. Snarling. Staring off in the direction of the body he had just kicked away. Wasn't enough to kill, he could've easily crushed his chest on the spot but chose not too. For many reasons. He was here to retrieve not instigate a fight. He'd be in more trouble if he just started a fight, and he didn't need more trouble. He just needed to fix this situation before anyone else found out about a human woman stupidly bumbling her way in here especially when he was watching her! That wouldn't do him any good. If that insect knew what was good for him, he'd tuck his tail between his legs and run. After all, he was merciful enough to let him off with a warning. He could regenerate his hand easily and he doubted that kick did any real harm, maybe he'd be sore from falling back but he'd be-

Another shriek rang out from behind him. Causing him to snap his attention back to the thing he came here for.

In a flash her body reacted, scrambling away from the severed hand that just laid limply and crawling back on her hands and feet clumsily until her back hit a tree, breathing heavily. Ah right. He supposed that would've scared someone like her who never saw combat. Simple minded creatures, weren't they? He just rolled his eyes and turned his body to her, but the movement made the human freeze...before she slowly looked over and up at him, and she froze jaw dropping open. Hey now. He didn't think he was that horrendous looking! By demon standards, he was drop dead handsome! But then it clicked that she wasn't looking at his face, it was the long sword he still had unsheathed. A small slap sound came from her when her hand slapped over her mouth. Was she afraid he'd cut her down as well? That was ridiculous. He'd be more trouble if she was killed by him verses if he just tossed her out! Like he suspected. Simple minded. Let's just get this over with.

In a small rapid session his fangs clacked together enough to get her to look at him. "Hey! Get the hell up!"

He thought he made himself loud and clear, anyone else would perfectly understand what he just said. But instead she gave him the same looked he'd give the Master if he was in trouble. Pale. Terrified. Jaw dropped. And f/c eyes wide in terror at what she was seeing. Oh come now. He knew he was intimidating, but he hasn't even made a move to harm her! Although..her...Her face was actually kinda cute now that he was able to see it up close. Soft skinned. Pretty eyes reflective at him. It didn't have any demonic features like extra eyes or horns. And her f/c hair falling down her legs framing her face in a nice contrast to the white bridal gown she wor-

....Oh..Oh! ...OH!!

Like a flash of lightning in a storm, it all flashed across his mind now. Oh. A...bride. A human bride. It was a human offering. Oh. ...Well this was awkward. There hadn't been one of these since the mountain drought two hundred years ago. Back then, the humans thought sending a young lady in 'sacrifice' would cause some divine intervention from the demons to end the drought. Spoiler alert!! It did indeed NOT do that, and instead the poor human ended up getting taken by Douma to join his cult. No one ever heard anything about her since, and the drought continued on for another five years until mother nature sorted itself out. Of course this was before he was a part of the Twelve Kizuki so he actually never seen a 'Demon Bride' other than the Master's wife, so this situation was..Rather surprising to him.

The both of them stared at each other for a moment, before he opened his mouth revealing a mouthful of fangs and she flinched before he clattered them together in a rapid session to make the same clattering noise as before, before his face changed to look like he was straining his cheeks and a small shrill-grunt sound left his mouth.

"Get the hell up! Tell me why you're here!", he demanded and tilted his head expectantly at her terrified form. She still said nothing and it annoyed him. Great! Was she that scared?...Or maybe- Don't tell him you didn't understand what he just said! He grunted and rolled his eyes. "Not fluent in that, huh?" he spoke in human making her blink. "Figures you wouldn't be." He scoffed with another eye roll before bringing up his sword to inspect. And he scowled at the blood on it. It would have to be cleaned and polished later. "Disgusting pigs!" He harshly gave the blade one harsh shake to knock what droplet he could off, twirled it around with a wrist movement and aimed the blade to be returned to the sheath covered by his cloak. "So did I cut you or what?" She could only let her bottom lip quiver in response as she made some kind of squeak noise making him sigh in annoyance. "You gonna make me repeat myself? You humans are pathetic." She finally seemed to regain some sense as he scowled at her. "Hey, Human! Did I cut you or what!?'' She flinched pulling her hands to herself before frantically shaking her head no making him snort. "Good. Didn't think I did anyways, my skills are too precise for that."

She didn't answer. Instead doing something that made him pause. So taking a shaking hand, she pulled it back and slapped herself across the cheek making him just stare at her. By gods. Had she really HAD gone crazy!?

"The hell? Did that weakling hit your head too hard or something!?"

She hissed hand rubbing her sore cheek. "....This h-h-has got to b-b-be a n-nightmare..." She spoke barely above a whisper, but he still heard her voice.

"Tch. Unless you ran into Enmu, I highly doubt we're in one," he bluntly answered which made her flinch and look at him again. "But I've been trailing you this entire time so I know we didn't. Which begs the question." She yelped as he suddenly squatted and pushed his face into hers making it to where she were forced to stare into his angry scowl. "Who the hell are you!? You're not one of the humans brought in from the train! And you don't belong to Douma, you don't have his scent on you." His tail gave an annoyed thrash behind him. "So are you a trespasser or what!?"

"NO!!", she suddenly blurted out in fear. "I-I WAS JUST F-F-FOLLOWING THE MAP IS AL-ALL!!"

A thick brow rose higher, but he hummed. Yes..he had seen her with a map. "You were just following the map?" He asked again and terrified, she nodded making him hum again. "And then let me guess. You accidentally got lost on your way through here?"

She nodded again. "Y-YES!! That's r-r-right! I was!"

"Well why the hell were you not paying attention!? Any human should know once they're sent in that they need to be on the look out for scum like that!" He gestured at the ground like it should've been obvious. It was totally obvious for any bride to be thrusted in here that she should be careful for weaklings like the one he just trashed!! Didn't she even think of that!? She didn't answer and it made him growl before reaching up a hand to rub at his temples. Humans...This is why he never interacted with them outside of the Master's family. "Doesn't matter." The hand moved and he bore back into you. "I only spared your life because I wanted answers, otherwise I would have left you for whatever fucking scum to claim."

Screw this night AND this job! But...he wasn't sure what to do about this situation now. Now he knew she weren't a trespasser perse if she were sent to be an offering. Should he still throw her out? Can he throw her out while she was an offering? Was she allowed in here now or should he still toss her out? This situation was too new and complicated for him to figure out...He'd take her to Kyogai. Yes. Kyogai was the record keeper. If there was any laws for this kind of situation then he would definitely know about it! BUT-..If he was going through all this trouble to save an offering then he was going to make this worth his time! And right now he was very interested in that strong sweet smell, and her dowry. All brides these days had one to impress males if they wished to court instead.

"So before I leave your sorry ass, let me see your dowry."

Silence continued on. He stared at her expectantly. She stared at him silently wide eyed. Nothing answered them both except for the wind and creaking branches. ....And then he scowled.

"W-What-"

"Your dowry! Let me see your dowry! What do you have to offer me!?," he practically shouted at her face before giving a grunt of annoyance pointing at her bag. "In there! Gods above! Do I have to repeat everything to you!?"

She slowly rose a brow at him. "You want the-...A return payment?"

"Dowry! Payment! Offering! What ever the hell you people call it! Just give it to me! I know every human in your situation has one to give if they travel through here!"

"I-...I-I have no money." He seemed to exhale annoyed at her response. "B-B-But I ha-have these!"

He watched intently as her hands reached over, trembling harder, to her bag and he watched every moment intently. She reached to her bag, and pulled the top flap back with one hand, in an instant the sweet-sugary scent he'd been following this whole time intensified and she nearly flinched when you saw the way his eyes enlarged like a cat's when they saw a mouse. Instead she ever so slowly reached into the bag and pulled out a peice of cloth tied with a knot at the top, shaped lumpy with some visibly round objects. It was brought up to the monster held out, and his gaze was fully focused on it. He knew EXACTLY what was in that cloth before she even answered him again. His mouth instantly watered and his tongue flicked the inside of his fangs.

Peaches.

"H-Here. F-For you." She forced herself to smile.

He gave just the tiniest glance at her smile before he reacted in his own desires, her arm froze as the cloth was instantly snatched from herr hand and soon found itself within his claws, who didn't waste any time shredding through the cloth instead of just undoing the knot leaving the shreds to slowly float to the ground from his hands and inside amongst the shredded cloth in his hands was three small pieces of fruit. The small heart shaped pieces were cute looking in contrast to the clawed hands that held them, a pretty pink that faded to a yellow-tan color near the bottom. Not a blemish on them. Perfect. Sweet. And a delicacy to the tongue. He hadn't had them in so long...he couldn't even remember the last time he had one! He seemed almost in a trance as he stared at the perfect round things, savoring the sight just a bit longer to remember this moment by, before he could no longer resist the temptations. She flinched as a few peach juice droplets splashed against your hands and blinked. He had revealed his mouthful of fangs and bit through half of one peach with one bite, some pieces of the fruit falling to the ground. He exhaled slowly through his nose and his shoulders visibly relaxed. One more bite made the rest of the fruit disappear into his mouth like he was terribly hungry, then the second one followed the same fate as the first, gone in under a minute in two bites. It was by the third one that he even bothered to look at her again after all this time, where she had remained unmoving too. Was she still scared of him? Or was she waiting to see if he'd pick her for his own mate? Psh. Yeah right. As if he'd do that-...

Hm. On second thought. Maybe there was perks to having a human around-

After a moment he bothered to hum, arm reaching up to wipe at his mouth before he stood. "Not really a good dowry. Dam pathetic really." The last peach was tossed up and down in one hand. "The bare fucking minimum of expectations." Blue eyes carefully rolled over her form studying. She wasn't the worst looking. Infact it was an upgrade from most women he'd seen. ..Eh. She wasn't like the Master's wife, but her body looked strong and sturdy, and his senses indicated she was young and healthy. Early twenties tops....She might make a good servant. He hummed and then nodded. He'd check in with Kyogai first and make his choice from there. "But lucky for you, I'm feeling generous tonight. Hmph! You should be thankful!"

"S-So...Y-You're not going to hurt me?"

"If I wanted to hurt you, I would've struck you down the moment you stepped passed the tree line! Now stand up! We're leaving!"

She blinked.... "Leaving?"

He gestured at the dark. "Would you like me to leave you lost, alone, and in the dead of night where others are sure to find you?" He paused at what he said himself, because he hummed and turned his head upwards. She screamed quite a few times. Surely someone would've heard her, in fact someone might be coming towards them this moment. "With how much you stupidly screamed, I don't doubt others are already on their way here now." He growled with a scowl. "The bastards. Fighting like rats over a scrap of meat."

"N-NO!" He looked back to her as she forced herself on wobbling feet to stand before him. "I-I don't want to stay here! P-Please show me the way."

He seemed pleased with her answer because he huffed and one side of his mouth curled up in a smile. "That's more like it. If you're gonna be around me you need to step up your think-"

He didn't get to finish that sentence. In fact...He didn't get to even stand when a large hunk of branch flew past at lightning speed, and slammed right into the his side with a sickening crack sound. Wind flew past her from the sheer force of the throw, and the black robed demon was sent flying to the right and into a heap several yards away from where he initially stood. She stood frozen for a moment, the sight being too fast to comprehend what exactly had just happened. Then a horribly familiar voice spoke.

"Hands off the female! She's MY claim!!"

Her head snapped around, and she again shrieked as the insect-eyed demon has returned, hands fully intact and fangs bared towards the sight of another one of his kind as she stumbled back, eyes wide. A creaking sound was herd somewhere behind her followed by a loud thud and a deeper growl that reverberated off the wind and trees as a hiss sound escaped a black mass pushing themselves off the ground with many bone cracks and hissing noises until dangerously blue eyes cut through the dark right at the other.

"Dammed fools! You dare attack one of the Twelve Kizuki!?"

"I couldn't give a dam who you are! I staked my claim first! By law she's mine!"

And with that, he charged. She shrieked and ducked, arms coming to shield her head from the upcoming lunge but a black mass lunged faster, knocking the first one back into the trees as the two monsters rolled off. Something snapped within him. Perhaps it was all the pent up annoyance and anger at being challenged despite his rank. A whirlwind of claws and teeth they became. Crashing through tree branches, cutting one another, biting, each drawing blood from the other but he was stronger! He was faster!

He was superior!

So it wasn't very long that his opponent laid defeated. Silenced. Dead.

It wasn't a very long battle. Lasting under ten minutes. His wounds would heal within an hour or two. And he couldn't be in trouble for this, right? Surely he couldn't. Someone dared to challenge a Twelve Kizuki to battle and lost. Happened sometimes. And he had a right to fight since he insisted on fighting over the woman he still had unfinished business with. So he shouldn't be punished harshly for this. Although the fight was over, that did not stop his rage. For when he returned to claim what he had fought over, it was gone.

A piercing raged wail went through the night.

He couldn't believe this!! Did another one claim her while he was busy?! No. no. Couldn't have. He would've heard her shriek again. So that pathetic human must've taken the distraction and ran when he wasn't looking! DAMMIT!! And not only that-...

HIS LAST PEACH HAD BEEN CRUSHED IN THE FIGHT BEFORE HE COULD EVEN EAT IT!!!

He was angry! He was very, VERY ANGRY!! And he had to spend the rest of that night scrambling around trying to find this human, distracting him from his usual duties, and the scent going cold amongst the wind and other scents in the dam place! But now he was going to get in (maybe) trouble and won't get anything out of it.

....Oh so he thought.

One day went by.  Absolutely nothing. He was bitter, angry, and could do nothing but go back to do his own duties. Hopefully no one would notice or care about what happened. Everyone seemed too busy to pay him any mind anyways. Too busy struck by love-syndrome to really ever pay attention to himself. Which what he preferred anyways? It was best to leave him alone during these times anyways.

Two days go by and most of the bitterness had faded away, but he was still annoyed, stewing in the leftover bitterness that was attained from yesterday. Although an unexpected event happened, and it all happened as he was traveling along the Eastern tree line mindlessly. A very strong, and very important presence. Calling to him.

STRUM!

A forced pushed the back of his mind making him stumble in his step from how sudden it was. Like a mental rock was suddenly thrown on his shoulders, and it's weight made him lurch forward in real life, stumbling and throwing his arms out to catch himself against a tree. A feeling deep inside like something pulling his soul into a different box was tugging at his mind and it made him blink in confusion for a moment.

"What the fu-"

STRUM!!

His mind was pulled into a calling. It was like his conscious became thinned, light as air, and as nimble as a snake slithering through the lines of connection between himself and the bonds the Master's blood allowed them all to have. If he had one way of describing it, he would say it felt and looked like a tree rooted into their minds, different branches that were never the same but still connected to the same trunk in the end sharing the same deepened roots. The mind thread slithered ever closer to the thing that pulled and pulled and pulled him until he felt himself connecting to two others before him in this web of connections. He was thrown for a loop for a moment, but he quickly understood where he was and why he was here. One of the Twelve Kizuki wished him here, and the one responsible for bringing him here was just above him sitting silently. Upper Moon Five, Nakime, the one responsible for all transportation within this hivemind of threads. He reached out to that small thread sending a questioning thought for why she brought him here on such short notice. In return a thrum of an instrument vibrated within the wave lengths in return, and a mental arrow pointed to the third presence with them. And he followed her pointing. Who could it be who called him? Sensei Kokushibo? It wasn't the Master. The presence wasn't intimidating to him in the least.

"Kaigaku. I'm glad you answered my calling."

Kyogai!? What the hell could that lower moon want with him!? Especially now!? "What do you want!? I'm busy!"

He thought he heard Kyogai mentally sigh."I have something to ask you concerning some events which occurred last night."

"WHAT!?"

"Last night two intruders broke into my home."

"And? It's not my fault most of your staff are girls! You deal with your own territory and don't cry to me about not being able to do your job! If you want me to scare some dam idiots into submission, you can wait until I'm done!"

"You not doing your job is precisely my point! One of the dam insects claimed they were chasing a human bride through the woods!" The anger in the other presence fell silent. What did Kyogai just say? Human bride? In his home? "It's YOUR job to patrol the east side of the mountain and make sure no strangers enter or any demons leave the forest to that side of the mountain! Clearly you aren't doing your job good enough!"

There was silence for a few seconds as the younger presence thought on what he said. "You have the human?"

"I have no human!  DO. YOUR. DAM. JOB!! NEXT TIME SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS I'M REPORTING YOUR MESS UP TO KOKUSHIBO AND THE MASTER!! DO NOT LET SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN AGAIN! CONSIDER THIS YOUR ONLY WARNING!! Nakime, I am done with this message."

"NO! WAI-"

STRUM!!

The connection of the two wavelengths were cut off with a harsh strum of a bawa string, like a knife through hot butter, and there was a slight pain from the severed connection. He was thrown forward fast and with a gasp of air, was released from the wavelengths harshly without warning, ended up colliding face first into the tree he previously grabbed and slid down it to his knees coughing from the air knocked from his lungs. But he allowed the sweet silence to cascade over his body as he breathed. And there was silence. ....before a growl escaped his throat and bark splintered under his fingernails as blue eyes narrowed.

"Kyogai."

That was how he found himself in front of the infamous mansion throwing open the front door and making the sound spook any servant that was close enough to see his angered form stomp his way inside. This wasn't his first time here. Not by a longshot. He'd seek shelter here many a times before since it was so close to where he patrolled so it was very convenient for him, so much so that the older demon who ruled this home had been kind enough to give him his own room whenever he dropped by. Those whom saw him instantly bowed as his form stomped past them all one footfall after another.

"Lord Kaigaku. Good afternoon to you," one woman greeted with a bow but he ignored her in favor of stomping forward.

Further and further into the mansion he went, many servants bowing to the young lord but he paid them no attention. The scents around here all mixed with various different demons, but mostly Kyogai's. Kyogai was much more powerful compared to them all, so of course most of everything in here smelt of him. There was also the faint smell of blood. ...So Kyogai wasn't lying about intruders walking into his home. Which only made him more suspicious. Nothing really seemed out of place until he turned one corner in the mansion and paused.

"Found you."

And he stomped towards the smell. The very familiar smell he remembered from two nights ago. The very one he'd been trying to find these last two days was here, and he sure as hell wasn't letting her get off that easily. He quickened his pace speed walking through hallway after hallway ignoring the sudden bowing demons or any demons that were thrown his way, after one thing in particular. It got stronger and stronger and he was eventually able to pinpoint it to one room behind one door in particular. Heavy and quick footsteps went right up to the sliding door, his hand reaching out to grab it hard enough that some claw marks were  left behind by his claws and in one fluid, powerful motion he threw the door back hard enough to made a loud slam echo through the halls.

SLAM!!

There was a loud gasp, almost shriek at the sudden door open, and a woman whipped her head to him. F/c eyes met blue and he let a growl come out of his throat.

"It's about dam time I fucking found you."

**********************************************************************

You leaned back in the chair blissfully unaware of the approaching footsteps stomping their way towards your room. It had been a little while since Eri had left and left you just sitting there with nothing to do but keep your hurt leg submerged in the cold bucket of water. There was literally nothing you could do to keep yourself entertained other than to day dream of everything you wanted to do once you got out of here with your newfound freedom. Maybe that's why you didn't hear the stomping coming straight towards your room-

STOMP. STOMP. STOMP. STOMP-

Or the door being grabbed hard enough to leave claw indents in them.

SLAM!!

Making you gasp and whip your head to the thundering storm looming in the doorway only to meet blue eyes.

"It's about dam time I fucking found you."

You almost shrieked upon first laying eyes upon the demon who just barged into your room. Mostly because the entrance he gave scared you but you nearly shrieked again when the menacing form stepped in. Until you paused...and just stared at him. The demon didn't look much older than yourself, wearing a scowl on his face but not a dangerous scowl that said 'I'm going to murder you'. It was more of a really, really annoyed scowl like the ones Sanemi used to wear. Still made you nervous, but not to the point where you felt in danger. You watched with wide eyes as he stomped until he stood directly in front of you with that scowl of his, staring you down. His black cloaks looked torn and dirtied on him and here and there was small dirt smudged on his gray skin.

Wait a second. You knew this demon, but where did you see him?

You jumped as a black claw was suddenly pointed at your face. "Do you know how foolish you made me look defending you from that dam parasite!? I could have been killed for all you knew and you had the gall to leave without seeing if I died!!"

Oh right. He was the one who initially saved you from that first demon! You'd forgotten him up until this point. In the light he was a lot less intimidating.

"I should've left you to be made into someone's housewife than waste my time wi-"

"Are you alright?''

He paused. You stared at him concerned. He just stared back at you blankly for a moment. "...What?"He shook his head. "Of course I'm-"

He froze when your hand just grabbed his own and yanked. And he leaned forward, the surprising action catching him off guard. Especially when he felt something soft reached up and touch his face. And he just stood there as you squinted your eyes at him. One hand on his cheek, the other firmly around his left wrist as you took the chance to look over him. Despite his dirtied and ragged looking clothes, he seemed to be completely fine other than being angry, but you'd seen scarier. From Sanemi no less. Your eyes wondered over him and seemed satisfied to not see any damage to his body, so you released his wrist and face despite him staying stunned leaned over.

"I'm glad you're ok. That sounded like a bad fight you got into, and I'm sorry you had to go through that for my sake." Just apologize now and get it over with. You didn't want to owe anyone anything after you left here, including apologies, and he did have a point as much as you'd hate to admit it. He did spare you from that vulgar insect-eyed demon you first ran into and got in the way when it lunged back at you. Just remain calm. Everything would be fine if you just remained calm. It was then you bowed while still sitting in the chair which hindered your movement, but you did still bow to the best of your abilities. "I thank you for all the help and kindness you've shown me, and I apologize again for running off. I was scared and lucky to be alive." You then looked back up to his face. "And I'm not lying when I say I do hope you're ok. I'd hate for anyone else to get hurt because of me." And you were genuine with what you said. "Are you sure you're alright?"

The demon above you just-....Dumbfoundedly stared down at you. As if he lost all ability to think and act for himself. And ever patient you just continued to stare back silently at him. In total silence. Until you smiled to break the awkward silent tension and that small gesture finally seemed to snap him out of it because he blinked...before scowling and ripping his body away from you.

He opened his mouth and pointed at you...before closing his mouth and just growling before turning his head away. "I'm fine! Like I would allow myself to be hurt by someone beneath me! And you should be grateful to me! I could've left you to be taken by predators!"

You chose to not argue with him and honestly you didn't have the energy to deal with another Sanemi-like tantrum on top of your leg being hurt. If a small compromise of your pride meant peace, then it'd be better in the long run. Although you were not planning on seeing this demon again so soon.

"Whatever you say, but what are you doing here?" He turned slightly and cocked a thick brow at your question, a hum escaping his throat. "I wasn't expecting to ever see you again no offense, so why are you here now?"

He stared at you like you were dumb before scowling harder. "Are you dense!? I came here for you, Moron!"

Your brow rose now. "Me? Now why would you want to find me?"

"Because I need to toss you out! THAT'S WHY!!" A hand pointed a thumb behind his shoulder with a small growl from his throat. "If you hadn't come in here, I wouldn't be at risk for being punished! Who knows what'll happen to me if I don't make you leave!! Now get up!" He demanded with a 'come on' gesture. "You've plagued my existence long enough!" You...did not get up and only stared at him. "Well what are you waiting for!? I said GET UP!!"

"I can't."

"Why not!?"

"My leg was injured. That's why!" You frowned and gestured to your leg which still was dunked in the bucket of cold water. "I can't even stand let alone walk! Exactly how do you expect me to follow you out of here?"

He looked down at your leg, blinking as it just seemed to dawn on him that indeed your leg was in an awkward position. "What the hell- What are you doing sticking your leg in a fucking pail of water?"

"Trying to get the swelling to go down. The water's ice cold!," you deadpanned back at him he seemed to be annoyed again as he looked from your leg back to your face. "What? It's not my fault. One of those stupid monsters hurt me!"

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!!" At this point he threw his arms up looking both defeated and frustrated. "FINE!! Then I'll just take you to the human settlements Douma runs! One of them must have a healer! I am NOT getting in trouble for someone else harming a human!"

"I don't think that's a good ide-AH!!"

He didn't give you any warnings with two black sleeved arms just shoved themselves behind your back and under your knees before you were just roughly lifted up into a bridal style position in his arms. The bucket of water nearly spilling over from your sudden lift off via the demon who held you in his arms frustrated. On instinct your hands latched onto the front of his blackened robes which made him look down at you for a moment, taking in your wide eyed stare back up at him..Before he just wrenched his look away and turn you both around towards the door.

"W-WAIT!! I don't think this is a good idea! You could get in trouble more!"

He scoffed with an eye roll. "Oh, please. Who would stop me?"

"KAIGAKU!!!"

Your head snapped back to the still open door and the demon bristled. Muscles going rigid as an 'Oh crap-' expression flashed across his face, and then the footsteps, hurried and heavy came running down the hallway.

THUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUD-

Something big, heavy, and furious came running down the hallway and both you and the demon only watched as the floor shook under his feet. No escape as the thing came closer and closer- Until a giant clawed hand slammed harshly onto the doorframe making the demon holding you flinch and stumble a couple steps back as the looming form of Kyogai pushed his way into the doorway and stood above both of you much taller. You were confused looking between the now paled face of the demon holding you, and the furious look in Kyogai's blue and red eyes narrowed at the younger demon, breathing heavily from running all the way to here. You could only sit there awkwardly looking between the two demons staring each other down...Until your brow rose, and you decided to speak up.

"Kyogai?"

In an instant, his eyes snapped to you, and he blinked seeming to notice you finally, and froze. His blue eyes stared at your equally confused face, before they slowly roamed over across to where your hands gripped the black haired demon's front, then to said demon's arms holding you. Blue eyes widened for a second, but only a second, because instantly they narrowed into slits, a growl you hadn't heard him give before escaping his throat, and ever so slowly he pointed a hand right. At. The. Demon holding you.

"Put. Her. Back. Now."

The demon holding you stayed frozen in place for a moment longer before finally scowling back and pulling you closer to him. "Fuck off!"

"What are you even planning on doing with her!?," Kyogai demanded throwing up his hands, "She has no use to you!"

"I'm not getting in trouble because Little Miss Lost decided to wonder in and get herself hurt!!"

"HEY!" You scowled back at him but he ignored you staring down the taller demon with another growl.

"Wha- WHAT WAS YOUR PLAN ON FIXING THIS!? Dumping her outside the Eastern Tree Line!? She can't even walk! You'll end up killing her leaving her for dead, you dim witted beetle!"

He growled baring his fangs back. "That's why I was taking her to Douma's settlements!! He has one or two human healers so they ought to know how to fix her! And Douma's good at handling new human pets, so it'd be the perfect place for her!" Kyogai's face immediately twisted to one of horror as you shot him a look. "If I deliver her to a human settlement, then I won't be in trouble if she's with her own kind! Douma's always up for taking in more humans anyways.''

"Excuse me!," you yelled at him.

"W H A T!?"

The home shook. Literally. The entire mansion shook, lurched a bit from it's master's rage built into it making the demon holding you wobble and nearly drop you from how much he stumbled and you increased your grip on him yelping at the home's groaning creaks. As if the entire mansion was alive with his anger.

THUD!!

Kyogai slammed a single foot down leaning forward all of a sudden and got into the face of the younger demon who half paused half scowled at the older demon. "Now you listen to me you dam tantrum throwing insect! She is not even FIT for travel even if you carried her with the speed and grace of a swan! It was your own fault that this all happened in the first place! Maybe if you did your job and actually pay attention these things wouldn't have happened! Now would they!? This is why you haven't become an Upper Moon yet because Kokushibo still has to teach you the basics of the duties!!"

"How dare you speak to me that way!? IM A HIGHER RANK THAN YOU!!!''

"You're only a higher rank because of your strength and speed, and because Kokushibo has taken you on as his student so the Master was generous enough to grant you a position within the Twelve Kizuki! Otherwise you wouldn't even have the pleasure of being able to argue with me right now!" The younger demon flinched when a clawed finger roughly jabbed his chest. "AND LIKE HELL I'M ALLOWING DOUMA ANYWHERE NEAR HERE!!! THAT PERVERTED EMPTY SHELL OF A MAN CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BUT HIS OWN PERVERTED DESIRES AND I'LL NOT SUBJECT MY WOMEN STAFF OR THAT HUMAN TO ANY OF IT!!!"

"THAT'S WHY I SAID I'M TAKING HER TO DOUMA, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!! YOUR 'PRECIOUS STAFF' SHOULD BE PROTECTED IF THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER-"

"DAM YOU!! GIVE ME THE HUMAN!!" You squealed out as two larger hands hooked from under your body and again you found yourself being lifted into the arms of a demon, Kyogai to be in fact. He lifted you up and out of the smaller demon's hands. You blinked and looked up at him.

"HEY!! You have no claim to her!!," the black haired demon shouted back pointing at you.

"Oh! And I suppose you have?"

"YES!! Of matter of fact I do! Since she gave me her dowry!!" He huffed proud of himself and crossed his arms, and for once Kyogai went silent. Allowing this new demon to smugly turn his head.

"....What?"

"Yes! That girl-" He pointed at you. "-gave me her dowry which means she was interested in me! And I accepted, so obviously I DO get the final say in her! So I demand as a higher up and as my claim you hand her over to me!!"

You face palmed and Kyogai continued to stare at him silently before looking to you obviously for answers. After a moment you dared to look at him, and sighed.

"It's a misunderstanding," you cleared up. "Because first of all, and for the last time, I AM NOT A BRIDE!! I never was a bride before, I'm NOBODY'S bride now, and I never WILL be someone's bride!" You practically shouted into the air, frustrated at the constant bad hand life's always dealt you. And then you pointed at the smug jerk's face as he blinked. "Second of all, the only reason I'm here is because I got lost and then chased by some simple minded men who couldn't treat women with respect! That 'dowry' I gave you wasn't even a dowry! I just thought you wanted a payment in return for rescuing me from that beast!! And even then, I'm not going anywhere I don't know! I'm staying here and waiting for a doctor to come see me!!"

The black haired demon continued to stare at you for a long moment as you frowned back at him. "....So you're not interested in me? I thought it was pretty obvious."

Kyogai looked like he wanted to lash into him again but you stopped him before he could. "I never even got your name. What's your name?"

The black haired demon regarded you for a moment before huffing. "Kaigaku. Lower Moon one of the Twelve Kizuki. It'd do you good to remember it."

You nodded calmly. "Well, Kaigaku, I'm glad to meet you, but you're looking a little ragged. You should rest and have someone fix your clothes."

Kyogai perked up seeming to catch onto what you were doing because he was quick to calm himself. "She is right, Kaigaku. You look stressed and dirtied. You should rest and allow my staff to look over you."

He looked about ready to protest but you smiled and stopped him. "A member of the Twelve Kizuki needs to look presentable. It wouldn't be proper to allow yourself to fall into disarray, how'd that make you look to the others?"

To your surprise, Kaigaku actually hummed and looked as if he was actually considering it before he grunted. "Fine. But don't think I'm doing it because you asked. It's only deserving I get a break for everything I've done."

Kyogai's eyelid twitched, but managed to retain his rage. "Of course. Please, allow me." You yelped when all of a sudden you were hiked up to be cradled within one arm as his other, now free arm, went to one of the drums on his legs tapping it twice.

BUM! BUM!

Two seconds passed and a moment later there was footsteps and a random demon woman stopped in the doorway before bowing to the taller demon. "You called me, Lord Kyogai?" Wow. They were fast around here.

"Yes. Prepare the mens' bath for Lord Kaigaku, and send someone to address his garments. Tell the cook to prepare him a meal and have Ami prepare his room for his stay with us."

"And have Eri look him over as well."

Everyone looked at you as you stared at Kaigaku and pointed. "I don't like it that he got into a fight because of me, and I don't want him hurt. So just in case have Eri look him over."

"..I don't need a second opinion on my own body! I know my limits and strengths! I would know if I was injured!"

"Yes. But it would make me feel better, and I mean it when I said I don't want anyone hurt over me." You reached out and grabbed his hand making him freeze as you stared at him sadly. "...Please?"

...He opened his mouth- ....And closed it before yanking his hand away. "Fine! But I'll only do it as a part of the luxery I'm entitled too! Not for anyone worry especially a woman's!"

"Then I shall send Eri to look you over once you've settled. Mayla! Escort Kaigaku to the baths and carry out my other orders."

Mayla. (Was that her name?) She only simply bowed deeper before leaning back up. "As you wish, My Lord. Lord Kaigaku, please follow me."

"I've been here before I know where it is!," he mumbled but started off after Mayla as she turned and began to walk off but not before shoot Kyogai a look. "I expect to be informed on what the hell's happened in between my time last seeing the human."

"Oh you will be." Kyogai narrowed his eyes back. Wait until he heard about the Master already knowing about this. That ought to get this brat to shut up. He held eye contact and watched until Kaigaku (reluctantly) disappeared out of the door following Mayla and his footsteps disappeared, before he finally allowed his body to relaxed and he slowly looked back down to you still in his arms. "Are you alright? He didn't harm you did he?"

"Um...No. B-But could you put me back down? T-This is kind of awkward."

He blinked....and his face lit up a pink. "UH!! R-Right! Y-Yes! W-What was I thinking!? Apologies!" He was quick to set you back down gently in the chair before plopping your hurt leg back into the bucket with a small splash sound. Quickly retracting his hands away from your body afterwards. "H-Here! I-Is this better?"

You nodded. "Yes. Much better thank you." Your head tilted back towards the door. "But who was that just now?"

"That mess was one of my colleges. Lower Moon One of the Twelve Kizuki although if you ask me he does not deserve the generous rank!....But how do you know him is what I would like to know!?"

You shrugged. "I ran into him by accident when I first came in here. He saved me from an attacker-" Kyogai's brows rose in surprise at that. "-but then he ate all the food I had left for doing so. He called it a 'dowry' but at the time I just thought he wanted some payment in return for saving me. I guess that was yet another misunderstanding wasn't it?"

"Kaigaku expressed interest in a dowry? From a woman?.....Kaigaku!?" he blinked.

"Oh. Is that...bad?"

"I am...Unsure." Kyogai then mumbled and reached a hand to rub his temples with a sigh. "I see I have yet another thing to fix around here. I don't get paid enough for this."

"Oh...Well, Kyogai." He jumped when he felt you reach out and grab his hand in thanks blinking from under his thanks. "Thank you again for saving me! You're a real life saver. Was Eri able to treat you yet?"

His brain froze for a second, before with his cheeks pink he pulled his hand away and held it up. "UH! N-Not yet! I-I'm afraid she was interrupted by Kaigaku's presence!"

You blinked. "Oh. Well return to her and let her finish up healing you."

"YES!! I-I will! I-I return her to assist you as soon as possible," he slowly backed away and out of the room, "Please remain here and call one of the s-servants to help you." A hand grabbed the door and slid it shut quickly. "I-I'll make sure to have a word with Kaigaku. D-Don't worry."

You rose a brow at the sudden exit and even more so at the hurried footsteps retreating from the door. What the world just happened?

[thegeminisage]

wow it is star trek update time. last night we watched ds9's "blood oath" and tng's "journey's end," which is one of the strongest quality ricochets we've had yet.

blood oath (ds9):

okay, so the summary said "three klingon legends" but what i didn't realize is that they were all REAL KLINGONS FROM THE ORIGINAL SERIES

i have to pain this picture for you, whoever is reading this. the three klingons in this episode appeared in "errand or mercy" "the trouble with tribbles" and "day of the dove." like, they really came back to reprise their roles almost 30 years later. i'm going to paste a picture but uhtw 60s blackface

now, if you're a tos viewer, you may recognize that fella in the middle as also having played the titular squire of gothos in. "squire of gothos." now, as an episode, i find "squire of gothos" to be pretty mid, but there is one specific scene that really did something for me. to me? it did something TO me. what it did to me was send me off the fucking deep end, i wish i could convey the depths of my madness with human words

(still screenshot grabbed from this infinitely more amazing gifset, give it up for @maulthots for enabling me, no literally please go through her gif tag and reblog her gifs)

anyway, before my good and wonderful friend so kindly made this gifset for me, i did maybe sit in front of my pc and replay the clip upwards of [mumble] times a day because i was very, very unwell. when i watched this scene for the very first time what happened to me in that single instant was the bone-deep realization that james t kirk (tos and aos) ate fascists on tarsus iv, probably, and he'd fucking do it again because nobody tastes better than a fascist! i wrote an entire fanfic about it, sorry for the spoilers.

what does squire of gothos and tarsus iv have to do with ds9? well first of all every star trek episode is secretly about tarsus iv so jot that down

but secondly, i've watched this clip so many times i have to hide my face when this man shows up in trouble with tribbles. now, i'm not so good with faces, but i KNOW THAT VOICE. but i know him AS the squire of gothos. i frequently forget entirely that he also plays a klingon, so i didn't recognize his name. so when i heard the squire of gothos's voice come out of a random klingon's mouth in ds9 my immediate kneejerk reaction was "no i am hearing things that can't be--" BUT IT WAS. i PAUSED the episode so i could look iy up, realized that the guy in the drunk tank was kor or "do you have a tongue you will be taught to use it" fame, and then to my eternal glee, kang shows up next

i remembered reading once that kang came back later and i was like ??? no one comes back later on tos BUT HE DID! I JUST HAD TO WAIT FOR IT!!!!! mystery finally solved...........

once i recognized them this episode was a blast. absolutely loving these 100 year old klingons getting ready for a rip roaring rampage of supercentenarian revenge. i was VERY sad that they died at the end but at least presumably they all died together (didnt see the last one go down but im just assuming he lived long enough to eat the albino's heart and then die)

(the albino is a really funny concept by the way like he's not even albino he's just a white klingon)

other notable things about this episode: firstly, quark hiding behind odo at the beginning. classic. secondly, dax actually being a good fighter ?!?!?! and finally, a true passing of the bechdel test where dax asked kira some alarming and upsetting questions about killing people and kira immediately took her aside and MADE her talk. i love. Women. and also women who murder people. i support womens wrongs.

i even love that the ONE time sisko doesn't back up one of his people it's for a good reason (doesn't want the 27yo reincarnation of his father figure to die on a klingon suicide mission)

10000/10, absolutely stellar ep, zero complaints

journey's end (tng):

oh boy.

just about the coldest bucket of fucking water...

you know, we tried to give this episode the benefit of the doubt actually. we were like "maybe this was progressive in 1994. i mean they ARE saying that moving these guys forcibly would be bad" and i mean like what would we know about what was progressive in 94? we were 5. so we checked and um i don't think anybody liked it in 1994 either

devastating that THIS has to be a wesley episode bc i wanted a better sendoff for my boy. "i had a vision and now i'm leaving starfleet" and yes they said the word vision in the most derogatory way possible. jesus christ

TRAVELER ALIEN RACEFAKING? HE PRETENDED TO BE NATIVE AMERICAN TO GIVE WESLEY THE VISION? and then he was like haha don't you know all that stuff is fake. (picard earlier in this episode "i am sooo respectful of your beliefs")

furthermore when picard was like "oh yeah this guy blames me for the crimes of my colonizer ancestor" girl at no point did he say that. idk if white people should go around accusing other white people of white guilt so i don't say this lightly but jesus christ captain picard can you tone it the fuck down buddy

i came across a gifset today of picard from season 5 (idr the episode) going "starfleet doesn't want officers who blindly follow orders sayign you're just following orders has been used to justify too many tragedies in our history" and then smash cut to this episode where he's like "well i tried but yeah i'm gonna have to move you sowwy :/" like good lord.

anyway it's a bummer these last few eps of tng have been less than great bc ik tng is capable of good episodes and i was hoping this series would go out on a high note. but it's going to end the same way it began with us waiting for something good to happen and throwing popcorn at picard

TONIGHT: ds9's "the maquis part i" and tng's "firstborn." i am Braced. for trouble.

[blistering-typhoons]

BBC SHERLOCK REWATCH - A STUDY IN PINK (REAL TIME NOTES)

From the perspective of someone who watched this show when they were thirteen, made it their whole personality and then stopped being a massive prat.

I thought about organizing this into a cohesive review, and maybe as I go on I'll delve deeper into some of my observations but for now I thought it would be funny to present my findings in raw, mostly unaltered form:

- loud ass opening, my god

- only bit of acting Martin freeman ever does lmao

- dances along to theme against my will

- god the effects and transitions are so shit

- all the shots of the pills are so ugly

- oh yay molly - whoo - yayyy

- the potential withe these two goddamn

- also this sherlock does not drink his respect women juice by god

- fucksake the deduction about john's sister- not only is it translated awfully into this modern setting, it's explicitly a deduction Sherlock is supposed to make once they know eachother a bit better

- THE POTENTIAL

- also sherlock displaying one insecurity when john accidentally insults his stuff- well done moftiss, characterization

- How far away is the crime scene, why it dark

- pls the transitions

- PIPE BOMB, WHOO Phone deductionnnn

- oh my god it's so shit

- uuuuuuuugggghhhh the potential I hate this shooooow

- fuckin deduction as a way for witty one liners and sexism, i hate this place

- 'you were thinking it's annoying' i'm going to send myself off a cliff, CRINGE

- RACHE- moffat, come here a sec- literally putting ACD on par with the police, who are always wrong the sheer audacity- also just a bad change

- these lens flare white lights are so goofy please, you will never be a whole scene of silence with jeremy brett

- benedict cumberbatch is very pretty i will grant

- terrorized by the fact i used to quote this show unironically

- from a writing point of view I understand that John gushing over Sherlock is to show off and emphasize their specialest boy- but, some sincerity is infused into it from an acting standpoint

- 30:02 GIRLIE WHAT IS THAT SOUND EFFECT

- OOH YAY THE PSYCHOPATH/SOCIOPATH STUFF WHOO YEAAAAH

- All the phones calling as john walks past is kinda cool but mostly stupid

- oh anthea, what a rich character lmao

- how long was mycroft posed like that

- First johnlock queerbait whooo

- Where does he fuck off to???

- he just vanishes lmaoooo

- Three patch problem. Bruh.

- I am bored as shit, help

- This music- girl

- Bloated is a very good word to describe some of these scenes

- HERE SHE IS- THE BIG DADDY OF QUEERBAITING

- this scene is insane fucKING INSANE I HATE THIS SHOW

- god how much episode is left fucksake

- the stop/go signs- pick a tone girl

- this episode is so almost good and it's anytime Sherlock makes a mistake lmao

- not the drugs bust :/

- ooh sociopath line- whoo

- "I don't have to [imagine]." OOOH OKAY, WELL, YOU GUYS GET *ONE* POINT FOR THAT SHEESH

- this is so ridiculous- COME WITH ME- girl shut up

- I wanna be done I wanna be doooone.

- lamenting the confrontation we had in the unaired pilot

- The 'Frwhoomp' noise as the light goes out, girl

- 20 Minutes left my christ

- BRO- I forgot that bit of ADR wooooof

- and thus begins the scree of Moriarty

- five years, why is Scotland Yard still doubtful of Sherlock's skills? I know he might have been deep in his addiction during some of that, but they evidently kept him around for crime solving.

- Great man/good man quote has me fumin babes, my god, what a fundamental misunderstanding of Sherlock Holmes

- boring ass back and forth

- this piano is giving me war flashbacks

- is it a five orange pips reference?

- also the pills look like that speckled gum that burns your throat

- when is it oveeer

- falling asleep

- bomb under the table but the table is made of glass and hates gay people

- she tooks the kidssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

- 13 min

- love, or rage, dude, come on Sherlock

- i hate this 'enjoying crime too much' theme they've written

- like watching a stupid play

- once more, the potential

- moriarty he said calmly

- also, so out of character for Sherlock do I even need to say

- peaks of what could have been- FUCK

- this mycroft fake out- lord

- also, mummy, fucksake

- cheesy ending BUT IT'S OVER

[fangirlshrewt97]

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

So. I promised you a Dhruya fic. I... did not have time to write the Dhruya fic. I wrote this instead. Please accept it. 🙏🙏🙏.

///

Bheem was sharpening his hunting knives as he listened to Sita and Jenny practicing their English on the other side of the hut. Bheem had bowed out after 30 minutes but Sita was still going strong. The women would occasionally break out into laughter that made Bheem smile.

 Sita had had a difficult time the last few months, even if she did her best to hide it behind a smiling face. It was good to hear the sound of her joy. It was the best kind of background noise.

And it was all peaceful, until Ram walked hurriedly into the place. He had a concerned look in his eyes that immediately had Bheem sitting up, alert.

"Ram? What happened?"

"I'm just," Ram growled as he overturned his chest of clothes, digging through them. "I can't find my lathi. Or my police uniform shirt. Or police cap."

Bheem's brows furrowed. "For the mission tomorrow? Did you check in-"

"Yes I already asked Loki. She said she kept all our clothes in our hut after she washed them." Ram said as he stood up, crossing over to where Sita and Jenny were sitting. Both women moved far back to allow him his space.

"I don't think you'll find it among the pots and pans," Bheem commented as Ram exhaled in frustration. "Maybe they got mixed up with the other supplies set aside for tomorrow?"

Ram stared at him. "Why would my clothes be mixed with the supplies?" "Because you are so focused on making your plans the only reason you don't lose your head is because it's attached to your neck. And you have Bheem." Sita piped up, smirking.

Ram scoffed as he waved her away, making her giggle. "If you won't help, then stay out of it."

"Ah, don't be like that Mama," Sita said as she stood up, "Come, where all have you looked so far?"

Ram went to retort only to be interrupted.

"Freeze!"

Ram's jaw dropped when he turned. 

Malli stood at the threshold, marching in with her head held high. She was wearing his uniform shirt over her dress, the garment reaching past her knees. His cap was falling over her eyes, prompting her to straighten it with one hand. In her other was his lathi.

"Malli, wha-"

"MALLI! GO DO SOMETHING YOU HATE! BEING MISERABLE BUILDS CHARACTER! SMILES ARE A SIGN OF WEAKNESS!," Malli proclaimed, pointing in turn at Bheem, Jenny, and Sita who were all gaping at her before turning to Ram. "I AM ALLURI RAMARAJU, AND I WILL PERSONALLY SHOOT DOWN EVERY WHITE MAN IN INDIA."

The hut was silent for a few seconds after Malli finished. Then Jenny let out a giggle. Which caused Sita to crack and start shrieking like a banshee in laughter. Bheem had bitten his lip to control his laughter, but he made the mistake of glancing at Ram, who was still blinking dumbfound at Malli. 

Bheem lost it.

Ram scowled at his so called friends, and their cackles, turning to stare down Malli. Only to find her looking at him with that exact expression.

He scowled harder, crossing his arms. She mimicked him, deepening her frown as she crossed her arms across her chest.

He dropped his arms. She did too.

Ram heard Sita's howling grow louder. He felt his eye twitch. And his lips. A blink and you’ll miss it smile.

"Ok, that was fun and all," Ram stated, "but game over Malli. Give me back my things."

"Who-" Malli cleared her throat before dropping her voice an octave lower to match Ram's usual inflection. "I don't know any Malli. Except the one very sweet girl who helped me make a flute for her Bheem Anna that finally earned me his love."

Ram spluttered even as Bheem started to laugh loud enough for Ram to feel it in his chest. Sita had been reduced to silent wheezing, and who had at some point fallen to the floor. She was clutching her stomach, tears streaming down her face.

Ram took a deep breath, closing his eyes and pinching his nose with one hand as another went to his hip. He exhaled fully before looking at Malli, who was still imitating him, with one eye half open to keep track of what he was doing.

When he glared at her she just threw him her cheekiest smile. Behind him he heard a bump and turned to see Jenny cooing at Sita through her laughter, the latter having apparently bumped her head against the low table. He looked her dead in the eye. "I hate all of you. I hope you choke. "

This just sent Sita into another laughing fit, except this time she braced herself on Jenny to get up before she stumbled to where he was standing. Hip checking him to the side she threw her arms around Malli, cupping her cheeks to press a loud, smacking kiss to her forehead. She then hugged her to her chest as she looked straight at Ram. "I love you so much Malli."

Malli's façade finally cracked as she started giggling, throwing her arms around Sita's waist. "I love you too Akka."

Ram glowered at the pair, crossing his arms over his chest again. Only to feel a stronger pair wrap over them. And then a kiss being pressed to his cheeks.

"Come on Ram, laugh. That was funny. I saw you smile."

Ram harrumphed and turned his head away. "No I didn't."

Bheem used two fingers to guide Ram back to look at him. His eyes were bright, and he had his trademark sunshine smile on. "No?"

"No."

Bheem sighed, hooking his chin on Ram's shoulder. "Too bad. Malli, next time you want to try to make Ram Anna laugh there is a much easier way to do it than by stealing his clothes and mimicking him. Though you did an excellent job.

She did, didn't she Ram?" Bheem asked, digging into Ram's side.

Ram squirmed away from the probing fingers before nodding. Reluctantly. Malli beamed at the pair, an expression made cuter by the fact Ram's cap tilted to fall over half her face.

Ram sighed, pulling away from Bheem to approach the girl. He let a small smile take over his face as he set the cap straight and poked her cheek. "Just don't take my things without telling me, alright."

Malli blushed before nodding, still snug in Sita's arms. Sita tucked the younger girl under her chin.

Bheem pulled Ram back against his chest.

Malli looked at Bheem. "What's the easier way Anna?"

"Hmm?" Bheem asked.

"Easier way to make Ram Anna laugh." She clarified.

Bheem's smile seemed to grow wider somehow. He tightened one arm around Ram's waist and before the other man could finish yelping, was digging his face into Ram's side, tickling him relentlessly.

Ram shouted as his legs gave out beneath him, trying to get away but Bheem held on tight. It was only when Ram was breathless from laughing, with tears appearing at the sides of his face that Bheem backed away.

Malli looked at the whole scene with open delight. A look was exchanged over Ram's head with Bheem.

Ram barely had the time to catch his breath before Malli crashed into his chest and started tickling him in turn. Ram squirmed under her before he twisted to wrap his arms around hers and curl them both up so she was trapped against his chest. "Right. Enough. Had your fun?"

Malli giggled, throwing her arms around. "Yep."

Ram smiled, a full one. He hugged Malli close, and whispered so low only she could hear. "Thanks for the help. Its been a long time since I've heard Sita laugh so much."

Malli squeezed him back. "You're welcome Anna."

Jenny picked up the police cap that had fallen to the side when Malli had tackled him, and set it on Malli’s head. “You are a fantastic actress Malli.”

Malli blushed. “Thank you Ms. Jenny.”

Ram tugged at the shirt she was still wearing. “Are you going to give me back my things?”

Malli pretended to think, squinting at him as he looked back in amusement. Then she gave a dramatic sigh. “I suppose. If I have to.”

“Very generous of you.” Ram said, deadpan as he accepted his items back.

He glanced at the expressions on everyone’s face and felt his heart warm. He knew he wasn’t the best at feelings. Or at making people laugh. But he had succeeded today, indirectly though it may have been. And it had felt so good.

Maybe there was some hope for him after all.

///

This one had the dumbest source of inspiration, but somehow I saw that and just could not get the idea of Malli imitating Ram while the others laughed out of my head.

Feedback is appreciated!!

Tagging (Please please work, Tumblr I beg you):  @rambheem-is-real @budugu @bromance-minus-the-b @junebugyeahhh @hissterical-nyaan @obsessedtoafault @hufhkbgg @yehsahihai @rorapostsbl @bluesolace1 @fadedscarlets @alikokinav @chaotic-moonlight @rambheemisgoated @rambheemlove @jaganmaya @burningsheepcrown @lovingperfectionwonderland @rosayounan @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @thewinchestergirl1208 @dumdaradumdaradum @ronaldofandom @jjwolfesworld @jrntrtitties @kashpaymentsonly @jeonmahi1864 @zackcrazyvalentine @stanleykubricks @m3gs1mps4a @tulodiscord @teddybat24 @sally-for-sally @ssabriel @jadebomani @stuckyandlarrystuff

[destinyc1020]

honestly i feel bad for clubchalamet cause i really do feel like fans like this do have something going on with mental health. i don't want to armchair diagnose but listening to this i'm like omfg girl, you are not okay! a lot of times when stans get way too invested in actors love lives, there's something else going on. she really needs to step outside and try to enjoy her own life, i listened to part of the spaces talk and she's just like all the delusionals in chris evans and tom hiddleston's fandom, and the tz antis who all deny that their fave is dating. like no one should be spending that much time upset about something they have no control over, with someone they don't even know! i've been there in the past when i was much younger and it just makes me sad that these ppl aren't growing out of it, i think they'd be a lot happier if they did

Yea Anon... I agree... 😔 It's just sad. Some of these fans get into parasocial relationships with their faves and it goes too far sometimes. 😔 I feel bad for her too. I mean, she freely admits that she's 30 years older than Timmy (so, she's obviously older than even 45 👀), and she swears that she's not infatuated with him, but idk girl... 👀 I don't usually put THIS much attention on someone's relationship that I'm not infatuated with, ykwim? Like, I may not like certain couples, but I just shrug it off and don't even give them a second's thought. But when you're THIS invested in a relationship, usually there's some infatuation involved lol.

But hey... I could be dead wrong.

Either way, I don't understand how people can be so upset over people they don't even know. Yea, I don't care for their family, but I also don't know how Kylie is with Timmy in private. He seemed happy from what I saw last night. She seemed happy with him. Maybe they have things in common we don't know about. Idk...

Even if the mother and Kylie orchestrated this relationship, isn't that how it USUALLY is?? Like, women go after men ALL the time lol. Especially GOOD-looking, eligible men with good careers. That's nothing new. 😅 That's how a LOT of these relationships in Hollywood have started in fact. Some actresses will have their team reach out to the actor's team to set up a date or an introduction. This is nothing new at all in Hollywood. You think it's only the men going after the women all the time??? Chiiiile...PLEASE. 🙄 Mothers too have been trying to hook up their daughters with some eligible single men. That's been done since the dawn of time lol. I don't really see the crime??

[lucreziaq2001]

•TV show: "Criminal minds".

•Content warnings: Mentions of the death of a teenage girl, a young mother having been forced to give up her baby and stealing another baby to replace her, without that working emotionally for, her pretending not to think about her baby anymore, but actually still looking for him, her son looking for her too, mentions of a parent losing a child, loss of a mother at a young age, death of a young woman (in her mid-30s) because of cancer and a child getting lost in a mall (or more like her mother leaving without her).

•I've changed what the first person who spoke's mother was doing when she lost her at the mall. In "The goodbye room", it was drinking, while here, it was feeling sick because she had cancer.

•And yes, with some precautions, a person with cancer can go out if they are feeling well enough from what I know, even while undergoing treatment. And maybe here Jacqueline's mother (who is Maeve, just to make it clear, not an OC) wanted to keep life as normal as possible for her little girl, even though both she and Spencer (her husband) knew she was dying.

•Some of the lines are almost the same that are in a scene of the "Cold case" episode this story is inspired by. I did modify them a bit, though. I didn't just copy and paste them.

•VERY IMPORTANT THING: This chapter was really upsetting for me to write, so if you find it upsetting to read, I understand. Feel free to skip it, obviously. And I can also kind of relate to some of the things said here, so I know you all are already very kind in the comments, but be especially kind here, please.

•Tags: @lex13cm, @golden1u5t, @rynwritesreid, @justalesbianwithsomegayshit, @marril96, @c-m-stuff, @criminal-addict.

Between their two hearts

Chapter 22: A mother's love

Much to Jacqueline and Scarlett's surprise, three days later, it was Emily herself who called them asking for a meeting, and two days later, the three women met at a bar in their city.

Although she was the one who had requested that meeting, however, for several minutes, Emily said nothing.

She looked like she wanted to tell Scarlett and Jacqueline something, but she just couldn't find the words to do it.

So in the end, thinking that she knew what was in the older woman's mind, it was Jacqueline who spoke first.

"As a child, I often went to the mall with my mother" she started saying, one of her hands grabbing the locket with a picture of her mom inside it that she always wore around her neck "One day, while I was looking at the toys on the shelves, she left without me. So, I looked for a sales assistant and told her I couldn't find my mama anymore. She said my name many times over the loudspeaker, and when my mother came back, she said she hadn't realized she had left me there. After all, there were so many people that day! But I knew what had happened to her. She died less than a month later. Leukemia. I was almost 6 years old".

Not knowing what to say, even though she had known Jacqueline's mother's story for years by that time, Scarlett took her friend's hand in hers and squeezed it, getting a soft smile from Jacqueline in response.

"I'm very sorry, but I don't understand what this story has to do with me or with Jennifer" Emily replied instead.

"Well, we all know that not all women can be good mothers" Jacqueline explained "Some do their best, but the situations they end up in prevent them from succeeding".

"Is that what you think of me?" the older woman asked, clearly starting to become irritated "Are you trying to lecture me?".

Even though she was in her mid-fifties now, she still hadn't completely changed from what she was like as a teenager.

"No, of course not" Scarlett retorted, strangely unaffected by that change in Emily's mood "Both Jacqueline and I just wonder if you ever think about your son".

"I gave him up for adoption because it was what needed to be done" the woman replied in a firm tone of voice "I haven't thought of him in years".

"Oh, I understand" Jacqueline sighed "The greatest pain a parent could feel is the one that comes with losing their child. I think it's at least similar to that of a mother forced to abandon her baby".

"Well, it was easy for me to do, actually" Emily responded with a clearly fake laugh.

"Really?" Scarlett then told her "Then why didn't you want to be separated from him? To bear that enormous pain, you've always pretended you didn't care, but now we know that's not the case. You are not the tough woman you want people to believe you to be. You've never stopped looking for your son. You are registered on every single Internet site made to look for children that were given up for adoption. Look, it's all written here".

After hearing the young woman's speech, Emily suddenly burst into tears.

For a few minutes, Jacqueline and Scarlett simply let her cry, then she spoke again.

"They told us leaving them would have been easy" she simply said, still crying.

"But they were lying" Jacqueline finished for her.

"Not a single day goes by that I don't think of my sweet boy, that I don't pray to God to protect him" Emily sobbed, finally, for the first time in thirty-seven years, getting a chance to let her pain out "And no matter how hard I've tried to forget him, there is nothing stronger than a mother's love for her child. It makes little difference whether she was forced to leave them or she got sick and died when they were still little".

Scarlett and Jacqueline knew what that woman had done thirty-seven years prior, but seeing her in that state was making that conversation difficult for them too.

"We found your son a few days ago" Jacqueline managed to tell her a few seconds after Emily had finished talking.

"My son?!? Really?!?" the older woman exclaimed, looking up and finally smiling sincerely.

"Yes" Scarlett confirmed, smiling too "He's 37 years old now and he has been looking for you too".

"You were the one who took Jennifer's baby and put her in your child's crib, right?" she added a few seconds later.

"I wanted to keep her with me" Emily explained, tears filling her eyes once more "But then I realized that no one else could have ever taken my baby's place".

Then, as she herself and many other people had done those days, she started talking about one of the things she had experienced in the summer of 1968.

In that case, however, it was the very moments that had led to Jennifer's death.

[donttalkaboutmemes]

The Little Mermaid (1989) Lyric Meme

Under the cut you will find 80+ lyrics from the 1989 version of The Little Mermaid to use for your enjoyment!    

Fathoms Below

1.      “I’ll tell you a tale of the bottomless blue.”

2.      “Look out, lad, a mermaid be waiting for you in mysterious fathoms below.”

  Daughters of Triton

3.      “Then there is the youngest in her musical debut.”

  Part of Your World

4.      “Look at this stuff. Isn’t it neat?”

5.      “Wouldn’t you think my collections complete?”

6.      “Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl who has everything?”

7.      “Look at this trove, treasures untold. How many wonders can one cavern hold?”

8.      “Looking around here you’d think, sure, she’s got everything.”

9.      “I’ve got gadgets and gizmos a plenty.”

10.   “I’ve got whosits and whatsits galore.”

11.   “You want thingamabobs? I got twenty.”

12.   “I wanna be where the people are. I wanna see ‘em dancing.”

13.   “Flipping your fins you don’t get too far. Legs are required for jumpin’, dancin’.”

14.   “Wish I could be part of that world.”

15.   “What would I give if I could live out of these waters?”

16.   “What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?”

17.   “Betcha on land, they understand. Bet they don’t reprimand their daughters.”

18.   “Bright young women sick of swimmin’. Ready to stand.”

19.   “I’m ready to know what the people know. Ask ‘em my questions and get some answers.”

20.   “What’s a fire and what does it- what’s the word- burn?”

21.   “When’s it my turn? Wouldn’t I love to explore that shore up above?”

  Part of Your World (Reprise)

22.   “What would I give to live where you are?”

23.   “What would I pay to stay here beside you?”

24.   “What would I do to see you smiling at me?”

25.   “Where would we walk, where would we run, if we could stay all day in the sun?”

26.   “I could be part of your world.”

27.   “I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I know something’s starting right now.”

28.   “Watch and you’ll see, someday I’ll be part of your world.”

  Under The Sea

29.   “The seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake.”

30.   “You dream about going up there, but that is a big mistake.”

31.   “Such wonderful things around you. What more are you looking for?”

32.   “Darling, it’s better down where it’s wetter. Take it from me.”

33.   “Up on the shore they work all day. Out in the sun they slave away.”

34.   “Down here all the fish is happy as off through the waves they roll.”

35.   “The fish on the land ain’t happy. They’re sad cause they’re in the bowl.”

36.   “We got no troubles. Life is the bubbles under the sea.”

37.   “Since life is sweet here we got the beat here, naturally.”

38.   “We got the spirit. You got to hear it.”

39.   “What do they got a lot of sand?”

  Poor Unfortunate Souls

40.   “I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty. They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witch.”

41.   “You’ll find that nowadays I’ve mended all my ways. Repented, seen the light, and made a switch.”

42.   “I fortunately know a little magic. It’s a talent that I always have possessed.”

43.   “Here lately, please don’t laugh, I use it on behalf of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed. Pathetic.”

44.   “Poor unfortunate souls. In pain, in need.”

45.   “And do I help them? Yes, indeed.”

46.   “They come flocking to my cauldron crying spells, please, and I help them. Yes, I do.”

47.   “It’s happened once or twice someone couldn’t pay the price, and I’m afraid I’ve had to rake ‘em cross the coals.”

48.   “I’ve had the odd complaint, but on the whole I’ve been a saint to those poor unfortunate souls.”

49.   “The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber. They think a girl who gossips is a bore.”

50.   “On land it’s much preferred for ladies not to say a word. And after all dear, what is idle prattle for.”

51.   “Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation. True gentlemen avoid it when they can.”

52.   “They dote and swoon and fawn on a lady whose withdrawn. It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man.”

53.   “Come on, you poor unfortunate soul! Go ahead! Make your choice!”

54.   “I’m a very busy woman and I haven’t got all day.”

55.   “It won’t cost much. Just your voice!”

56.   “If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet, you’ve got to pay the toll.”

57.   “Take a gulp and take a breath and go ahead and sign the scroll.”

58.   “Now I’ve got her, boys! The boss is on a roll.”

  Les Poissons

59.   “How I love les poissons!”

60.   “With the cleaver I hack them in two.”

61.   “God, I love little fishes. Don’t you?”

62.   “Here’s something for tempting the palate, prepared in the classic technique.”

63.   “Sacrebleu! What is this?”

64.   “It don’t hurt cause you’re dead!”

  Kiss The Girl

65.   “There you see her, sitting there across the way. She don’t got a lot to say but there’s something about her.”

66.   “You don’t know why but you’re dying to try. You wanna kiss the girl.”

67.   “Yes, you want her. Look at her, you know you do.”

68.   “Possible she wants you too. There is one way to ask her.”

69.   “It don’t take a word, not a single word. Go on and kiss the girl.”

70.   “Look like the boys too shy. Ain’t gonna kiss the girl.”

71.   “Ain’t it a shame? Too bad he’s gonna miss the girl.”

72.   “Now’s your moment, floating in a blue lagoon.”

73.   “Boy you better do it soon. No time will be better.”

74.   “She don’t say a word, and she won’t say a word until you kiss the girl.”

75.   “Don’t be scared. You got the mood prepared.”

76.   “Go on and kiss the girl.”

77.   “Don’t stop now. Don’t try to hide it how you wanna kiss the girl.”

78.   “The song says kiss the girl.”

79.   “Why don’t you kiss the girl?”

  Vanessa’s Song

80.   “What a lovely little bride I’ll make. My dear, I’ll look divine.”

81.   “Things are working out according to my ultimate design.”

82.   “The ocean will be mine.”

[foggyparadisecandy]

[Trauma dumping - scroll on by if you are looking for horny stuff]

I know, I know ... another one. I'm just purging it out as fast as I can. Catharsis in a public blog. Why not?

This one in particular is written for my ex-partner even though I know she won't read it. I just have to play pretend to feel remotely good about things.

Hey D - I want to start off and say that I love you, I care about you, and I forgive you for anything and everything. Please remember that you can always reach back out to me.

Yeah, what you did was pretty shitty tbh. But ... it's ok. I mean ... yeah ... do better. Good people do shitty things on occasion and IDK.

Maybe I'm way off base but everything points to a horrible trauma response. I could be wrong. I don't think so though.

Either way, who gives a shit at this point. I forgive you and the point of this letter is to ask that you don't use your treatment of me or us to beat yourself up.

It hurt. It still hurts. It probably will hurt for awhile but I'm going to come back stronger than I was before so, in the end, it will be a net positive for me. Except for losing you. That ... really ... is awful tbh.

I've told you how much you brightened my life in other letters so I'm moving past that one here. Let's talk about me for a moment and where I'm at and where I'm heading so you can feel like "hey ... Foggy is going to be ok ... I didn't permanently harm him and it seems like he's actually doing well."

And let's really quiet that subconscious that makes you want to feel bad - at least on this particular issue. It's all going to be better than fine for me in the end. I know that and you should feel ok about me.

I've made a lot of new friends who have been very kind and accommodating to my pain. You know I'm a curious dude and it's been very interesting to hear so many stories from other people. Love it.

I've reconnected with some old friends - online and in RL. I've got a pretty full social calendar these days which is a first in ... a loooong time. Pretty ironic considering how much I was always telling you to build connections and my own were thin.

I've started working out. It's only been 7 weeks and I'm doing pretty freaking good tbh. I started doing pushups and planks every time I thought of you but ... that got exhausting fast ... you are always on my mind lol. So I cut back to 30 minutes per day.

I've had it out with my wife about everything. Well ... not exactly everything but most things. I'm not sure where that goes but I know I don't want to go back to a boring status quo situation. You opened my eyes to a new way to exist and I want more, not less. It'll be ok either way - I know that for sure.

I've lost 8 pounds in 7 weeks. This one isn't really a blessing lol. I couldn't eat or hold food down for the first five weeks. Only really started eating again recently. But it is what it is. I wasn't heavy at all but I'm happier thinner so ... a win?

I've ... mostly ... started to be able to sleep through the nights again. For the longest time, the most I could sleep was 3 or 4 hours then wake and could not drift back off. I still ... am struggling ... a bit. Woke up the other morning at 4 am crying. That wasn't fun. But it's rare lately and I'm guessing will be gone soon enough. Not sure if this is a win or if it's me just feeling sorry for myself. I'm guessing the latter but I'm leaving it in here because it *is* better than it was early on so it's progress.

I've started therapy to figure out why I chase after helping others (mostly women) to fill the sad little hole in my soul. Actually ... I already know why. You know all the shit with my mom and ... yeah ... I'm working on it. Trying to get healthy for the first time since I was a ten year old kid. Kind of silly that it took you breaking up with me for me to figure this stuff out. It is really breaking me down to realize my life since ten has been so fucked up with trauma. Can you imagine not clearing your trauma away for that long? Can you imagine that? I hope not. Did you get that hint? I hope so.

I've refocused on work for the first time in a decade. I've set some huge fucking goals. I want to hit it big and I've given my team through the end of next year. I'm going to do it and then I'm going to fuck off from work and shift my priorities to something else - something more fulfilling. It's still to early but I want to take some of those self-improvement things we did together and do something with them for others. I'm using them on myself so I can see how they work and where they need to be fine-tuned. We'll see how it all goes.

I'm trying to figure out what makes me genuinely happy. All of my belief systems have been shattered tbh. I ... don't know yet if that's bad or good or just is what it is. I don't know anything atm about love or happiness or fulfillment or ... anything. I'm still more than a bit lost. You untethered me from everything I knew about myself. I'm not saying this is a bad thing ... I'm saying ... I don't know what comes next. Knowing me, it's going to be fucking great and better than it was. I've always been pretty good at solving problems and making great things happen for myself and those around me (as you know).

I'm doing my best to be kind to myself. I am not sure when the last time I was kind to myself was. I honestly can't remember when I've had a decent thing to say about myself. It's always been "do better" "be better" stuff. I'm working on it as fast as I can. Beating yourself up is an awful way to live. Not sure why I need your splitting on me to figure that out.

I have realized ... despite everything ... I am a good and decent and kind person. I lost sight of that for a hot minute there. I'm not perfect. Hah. Nope. But I do the best I can and I am quick to take steps to change up when I know I've fucked up. But yeah ... I'm good and decent and kind. I know those things now better than I ever have.

And ... you are good too. I know it deep down in my soul.

I see it in you. You are not your father. Far from it.

And you didn't permanently hurt me here. Lots of good will come from this. Believe it. Thank you for everything.

And I believe good things will happen for you. I have full faith in you.

I am no longer in a position to tell you what to do but ... please work on your trauma. For your own sake. And find a new path in life. I know you feel like your current job is your life but ... that job will bring you nothing but misery and sorrow and trauma and damage.

You deserve better. You know that. Deep down, you know everything we shared showed you a different path.

You deserve far better.

You might need to go through some pain to get on a new path but I know who you are. I know you are a fighter and know how to get shit done. You can and will do it. Start planning. Start doing.

And legit ... I'm still here and willing to boost you along in life.

I've always wanted one thing: to see you reach your full potential. It's amazing. The world is waiting to see it.

One final thing that I have discovered and honestly I feel really good about this one - even if you never reach out again:

I love you sincerely and wish nothing but the best.

[jaythelay]

it's not so much that Incels lead to Trans anything, it's more so that, there's a shit ton of men who don't fit into whatever role, and they both came to different but similar in concept conclusions.

The fix to Incels is not Transgenderism, obviously, no one's really saying that, but I do think that quite literally of any and all groups that heal and accept an Incel the most of any group, it's gonna be the relatability of trans people.

Incels basically form a pity circle jerk where they criticize character roles nobody's truly forcing them into, but because of perceived or genuine social pressure, feel the need to fit these roles. Their entire point is 2-fold: We Men are expected to be Supermen, and Women are expected to be essentially cats you can fuck but not fall in love with.

For some, this will cause gender dysphoria, and for some, not the kind that transitioning would help, but moreso an existential understanding of themself.

Realistically everyone should just do what I do. Not give a shit, feel what you can, and do what they want with their fleshsacks, because none of that shit matters except how your brain be bein'. And if your body is experiencing pain, or has something like tripophobic nightmares, I imagine you too would want that fixed and changed.

Especially if you can't help being yourself but wanting to be someone else. Truth be told you really can't alter yourself after really "getting it", so I recommend calming down, waiting til your 30 to be more existential. By then you kinda figure it out, somewhat.

Really I'm just a kid who kept growing up because it seemed fun and ya'll interest me as much as you utterly horrify me. A once thought decent combo now not so much.

Ya'll are just trying to go too fast, are too apathetic, and don't believe in shit enough to try, let alone care. At some point, you need to develop a self, believe in it, and be ready to utterly change it, because that reinforces your belief, it doesn't weaken it to be corrected.

Anyways, Incels are just utterly tormented boys being mislead by utterly deplorable losers being lead by genuinely malicious clowns who all Larp their favorite DnD Campaigns on social media because they think trying is too embarrassing and waiting will surely suffice, utterly deadlocked in a spiral of continual escalations in an effort to feel anything, anything but the normal feeling that eats away at them.

And trans are people who figured it out and just stopped holding back on their true selves, usually already detached from basically every social construct and unspoken social agreement to begin with making it easier to just slide into themselves over time.

Whereas incels chase an image, a projection of what they want, that's not realistic, and usually, not their fault they can't be it. Instead of finding their true self, they just set themselves up for failure looking for literally myths. Like, the people they discuss aren't...real... Some are just exaggerations, missing contexts, these are people that refuse anything past face value initial impressions and do not challenge themselves to be wrong.

They're really not interested in different mindsets, which one would need to even begin changing one's self, they're interested in being correct. And that high can be given for free if you don't give a shit. Which is why, instead of anything else, they will double down again and again, because to them, that's their perceived Chad, when it's just a Clown.

All this to say, there's connections, they're worth discussing and exploring, but I cannot stress enough how bloated the entire community is becoming. LGBT+ don't cover it, it's an entirely different, humanity exploring cultural movement and mindset that while absolutely fantastic and of course who else would be the front runners, Desperately needs to be it's own thing for cohesion and honest to god just simplifying dialogue and perspectives.

It's practically a religion that's in every way not a religion. Like, Please, let's establish a Humanitary Psychological Explorative Movement or some god damn shit, just don't make it gay, please, as far from LGBT as possible, it needs to be something EVERYONE can be apart of, not just the half-culturally labeled "others" you have to make a perceived plunge for.

We can't expect everyone to be accepting of LGBT when an entire culture of mindset is locked behind LGBT, that INHERENTLY makes you accepting of LGBT. As it is, it's just like locking an entire portion of the library behind the "girl section" of walmart, like bro not even I go down that dark aisle.

All I'm saying is, you can give Incels a home that isn't each other, you can get the average hillbilly to understand "others", and you can spread the good word of "being a decent human fucking being" without it being tied to a religion, a company, a politician or political party, no "big pharmer bibe gee", just us making a new cultural movement that isn't tied behind the oldschool still prevelant mode of thought of LGBT as the pink aisle in walmart.

Idunno I'm tired as shit.