#please listen to their other songs besides the iconic 'have i the right?'

[beatleswings]

HONEY LANTREE, drummer of the THE HONEYCOMBS. 1964.

[midknightwritings]

Knights as shimeji buddies !!

Synopsis : Shimejis are desktop buddies that play around on the sites / apps you use and love to interact with various elements on your computer !!

What would the members of Knights be like as your little computer buddies ??

Era : N / A

Warning/s : N / A

Mentioned Character/s : G/N!Reader / Tsukasa / Leo / Izumi / Arashi / Ritsu

A/N : I felt super nostalgic when Electric Angel started playing in my playlist but all I could imagine was little chibi Knights running around in my computer LMAO

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Tsukasa Suou :

He’s such a thoughtful little knight !! He’ll do everything in his power to help you as best as he can !!

Do you need resources for your school paper? He’ll gladly help you search and will provide you with the most reliable sources out there !! Is your computer getting slower? Fret not !! He’ll easily get rid of anything you don’t need, especially all those files you never knew even existed in the first place !!

Tsukasa’s so soft for your attention but he’ll never admit to it… He’s your knight after all !! He’s the one that’s supposed to be serving his liege, not the other way around !! Right…?

He'll 100% melt on the spot if you pet his head or gently move him to a quiet corner if he starts to fall asleep~ Small gestures like these show how much you really care and, even when separated by a screen, you still go out of your way to treat him with kindness. He really appreciates that.

Will definitely help you organize your files and folders if your homescreen starts to get a bit too messy. This might sound like a chore but you customize the names and icons together !! Now your homescreen has a cute royal theme going on :)

If you’re forgetful, he’ll gladly remind you of any important dates or things you need to do. Of course he wants you to have fun and relax, so he’ll let you have small breaks between work, but at the same time please don't slack off !!

Tsukasa loves talking to you and hearing your voice in general !! Your voice is so soothing to him, it helps him relax and destress if he ever feels overwhelmed. You both don’t even have to talk the entire time. Just hearing the quiet mutters under your breath or humming the tune of the song you’re listening to gives the same effect to him.

You’ll have a blast when searching for recipes online. Tsukasa will excitedly give you a masterlist of different websites based on recipes for cakes, brownies, cookies, ice cream and more !! Don’t ask when he created this though… He’ll get very embarrassed…

Loves being by your side as a whole. Whether you're drawing, scrolling through social media, watching videos, or more. He loves experiencing all these things with you. [ If you’re watching something together, expect him to slowly inch his way closer to your cursor. So please place your cursor beside your dock, it’ll save him the energy and embarrassment from having to climb up to the top of your screen. ]

Always greets you when you boot up your system and will always wish you sweet dreams / a great day when you log off. Isn’t he the sweetest?

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Leo Tsukinaga :

Expect your screen to be filled with music notes 99.9% of the time. [ That 0.1% is reserved for the times Leo seemingly tires himself out and falls asleep. ]

Never a dull moment with this little knight !! Very active, energetic and LOVES being with you as a whole !! It doesn't matter what you do, Leo just loves being in your presence as a whole~ You give him so much inspiration !! Oh no wait... Where's his pen ?? He needs to write this melody down before it disappears forever-

When I say active, I really mean it. He will climb on the sides of your screen, move around your folders and files, close and open tabs. He’ll do it all just for the fun of it so be prepared !!

He will 100% play hide-and-seek in your folders and expect you to drop whatever you're doing and play along so good luck if you have a ton of them !!

Your playlist king but with his original songs instead !! He loves to show you his new works so please listen for a while, he composed it with you in mind <3

If he notices you overworking yourself, he’ll try and get you to take a break by doing his absolute best to distract you. [ i.e. Grabbing your cursor, opening your games, etc. ] He never nags you to do your work because he knows that you'll finish them at some point so c'mon !! Let's watch a movie together !!

Are you a musician yourself ?? WOOO BOY THIS IS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN !! You’ll both pull all nighters composing and writing up new lyrics !!

Leo will be a happy lil knight if you want him to sing for you. Whether if it's for your original song or a cover, he’s ecstatic !!! Completely over the moon !! Of course he’ll sing, he loves you so~much !!

If you want to learn about music, or a music program, he will definitely help guide you through it. You’ll be a master in the blink of an eye with this genius composer by your side !!

On his off days though, he’ll be more dormant, less giddy and even tries to hide from you to avoid being seen in this state. Please comfort him :( He needs to know that he’s loved and that everything will be ok.

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Izumi Sena :

Good luck trying to procrastinate with this knight around because he will absolutely make sure you get your work done in one go !!

The physical embodiment of those apps that lock you out of your social media or video games until you finish your work. Don’t misunderstand his actions negatively though. They may seem cruel on the outside but Izumi genuinely cares about you and knows how much you’d appreciate the free time you’ll get later. So please just bear with him for now and stop procrastinating !!

Gives you the best feedback possible for your projects [ even though they may seem quite harsh… That’s just Izumi for you… ] and his keen eye for detail helps him spot mistakes from a mile away !! Honestly this is quite helpful especially if you worked on something for so long that your eyes basically blocked out any sort of error in your work.

Always reminds you of any upcoming dates or assignments saying that he’s “going to say this only once,” before following up with more reminders later on because “it’s so~annoying that you still didn’t start when the due date is just around the corner !!”

Will go out of his way to organize your files. Every. Single. One of them. He will even go in and rename them all for you because he finds it unbearable that you have files called “ahufuhiahuifaf.ppt” or “FINAL final essay v2 (submit this one??) #5.docx” and you wonder why you can’t seem to find the version you wanted to submit huh?

If you’re the type to get fully engrossed in something when you’re on a roll, Izumi will make sure you don’t pull an all-nighter. Sleep deprivation isn’t good for your skin after all !!

The funniest commentator known to man if you’re doing online shopping. He will not hesitate to roast the outfits/products into oblivion in the best ways possible. At this point, you’re not even planning on getting anything, you just want to hear Izumi's roasts don’t you?

He may seem like a nagging mom, but he gets super flustered if you show any signs of affection. The literal personification of;

[ Pets his head. ] “What was that ?!” “Affection.” “Disgusting… Do it again.”

If you struggle with sending emails or messages to authority figures [ i.e. your boss, teachers, etc. ] Izumi will not hesitate to help you out !! He knows how the grown-up world works so he’ll guide you through it. Tips, sentence starters, professional synonyms and more; Izumi will give them all to you. He even went out of his way to write up various templates you can use for different scenarios <3 He totally didn’t do that because he doesn’t want you to worry or anything !! [ Spoiler alert : He’s secretly cheering you on. ]

Even though Izumi may seem strict, if you listen carefully, you might catch him mindlessly muttering under his breath on how much you mean to him <3 [ Don’t bring it up though, he WILL deny it… In a stuttering mess of course~ ]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Arashi Narukami :

This queen is your #1 supporter !! She’s always cheering you on when you’re doing work and keeps you company from the moment you log in till the moment you log out.

She’s like Izumi but more flexible. She wants to make sure you finish your work first before you chill, doesn’t want you to stay up too late, and will always give you reminders for any important dates that are coming up. At the same time though, she still lets you take breaks in between because she knows that you’ll get your work done eventually, she just doesn’t want you to do it all the night before~

Arashi loves hanging out with you !! Especially when you watch videos, shows or movies together !! The two of you would often make up various theories, predictions or just freak out over the characters !! It’s just like a super fun sleepover !!

If you play video games, don’t be surprised if she gets a little bit competitive~ It’s all for funsies though so don’t worry !! [ I don’t recommend playing UNO or monopoly online though... For obvious reasons~ ]

On the topic of video games, she’s the best partner you could ever ask for !! You always rank #1 in multiplayer matches together. Arashi never cheats by the way !! She plays by the rules no matter what game it is, even though she can easily go into the game's code if she wanted to. She knows you want to play fair-and-square though, and respects that.

Expect a lot of “older sister” - type of teasing and doting from her like c’mon~!! You’re both practically inseparable, did you really think she’ll let you off the hook ?? She finds you absolutely adorable and would spoil you to no end !!

Arashi also adores going online shopping with you !! She recommends the best products and even lets you know about every single website that’s currently having a sale~ If she finds something that she knows you’ll like, she’ll sneak it into your basket for you <3

If you’re swamped with work, she’ll actively organize your files for you to help ease your load. She’ll also happily tutor you if you need any help and will look over your work as a fresh new set of eyes to ensure that there’s no mistakes before submission !!

Swoons and showers you with affection if you give her any yourself~ She’s especially soft for your headpats or if you make a heart from your cursor movements !!

Every time you log in, you can see her pop into your screen and wave excitedly at you !! Arashi never fails to give you good morning and good night greetings and even gives your cursor a big hug before you finally click the “shutdown” button <3

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Ritsu Sakuma :

Honestly, he’ll be asleep most of the time during the day. You can find him snuggled up in a small corner on your screen because your presence is comforting to him <3

At night however… This knight is much more active !! You better have finished your work during the day because Ritsu is craving for your attention and he’ll make sure he gets it !!

He will do everything in his power to distract you and honestly his efforts are quite cute. He’ll move your tabs, climb to the top of your window and minimize it, rearrange the apps on your dock. At this point, ignoring him is a futile attempt.

He actually understands if you have an important submission coming up though and will let you work. This is a long-term strategy because in his eyes, if you finish your work now, you’ll give him attention later on~

Ritsu loves when you give him headpats !! He finds them super soothing and it even lulls him to sleep sometimes. He also really appreciates the fact that you don’t bother him that much during the day [ even though you have every right to do so ] and in return, he tries his best to help you if he notices you struggling with anything.

A great planner !! As a "strategist", he helps plan out your schedules and timetables in a very detailed manner. All his timings include breaks so you don’t get burnt out easily~

He tends to be more of a watcher rather than an active participant when you work or play games because he finds your concentrated expression to be quite adorable~ Though, if you do need some help, he’ll happily give some to you !!

On the topic of video games, he will be such a tease. Ritsu’s your unofficial-official commentator and will constantly tell you to “get gud”. Even "chill" games like Minecraft aren't safe because he’ll purposefully adjust your settings without you knowing to subtly mess up your gameplay. Let's not forget that one session where he lowered the mob's volume when you were getting a glass of water so, when you came back, you constantly got blown up by Creepers from behind. Your diamonds will be missed…

You both talk a lot if you watch movies or shows together, but if you watch any vampire ones well… Safe to say Ritsu will roast it into oblivion as well. Poor Ritsu had to sit through the entirety of Twilight and no, vampires don’t sparkle in the sunlight so don’t even try to convince him otherwise !!

On the rare occasions where he’s actually awake during the day, he’s much more sluggish but will still try his best to help you as best as he can !! He expects a lot of headpats as compensation though~

[theinkedfoxsl]

was that questions post like an oc ask game but for you instead? i bet other people have asked questions but i want ALL OF THEM. bc i think u are so cool. please :3 n for 36: what is your very favorite time of day and why?

HHHHHHH

What is your nickname?

Len :3

When is your birthday?

I don't celebrate it! But I celebrate my name day on October 29th

What was your longest relationship?

5 years this June with Henrik :D

What is your favorite book?

Ripper by Stefan Petrucha. I was obsessed with it as a child

What is something you're insecure about?

Rn? My voice cracks. They're pretty bad with where I'm at on T and they embarrass me

5 Male celebrity crushes

Pedro Pascal, Joaquin Phoenix, Nic Cage, Ryan Gosling, and Hugh Jackman

5 Female celebrity crushes

Can I put Natalie Dormer for all of them? But her, Salma Hayek, Nicole Kidman, Jessica Alba, and Kesha!

What is your dream job?

I wanted to be a writer for a game company.

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

Landing Henrik- uhm but no, finishing the Ambros Twins. It meant a lot to me, and I put in a lot of work for it. Even if I don't go there anymore.

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

ALL OF MY WEIRD FACTS PEOPLE GO "that makes sense" SO IDK?? I'm afraid of the ocean?

What were your highs and lows for this last month?

Eugh,, the lady at the blood clinic has been really transphobic and ableist to me the last two times I've went and its really sucked. Today was particularly bad cause the barista and some random girls were also quite rude. But! I ordered my cane and I'm so so excited to get it! I also got a skin I wanted in Outlast Trials!

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

I wanna go back to Germany, it was so nice. But I want to visit Munich next time!

How do you de-stress?

Stressful video games :3

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

Discord! All my friends are in there.

Describe yourself in one sentence.

Exhausted and blunt but kind

What do you think makes you attractive?

My fierce determination to make things work even when I'm on a wire. The people I love, I love dearly. And they know that. I think its an attractive quality to have, to care so deeply about others.

What is something you're really good at?

Writing! I'm also really good at listening.

What is something you're really bad at?

ADVICE- I can listen but not give advice. I'm also fucking awful at soulslike games we've discovered (nobody is surprised)

A time that you told a lie.

Pretty much every day. I'm a compulsive liar, I'm working on it.

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

Some ladybugs can have no spots!

Who knows you the best?

Rowan or Henrik I think

What is your most prized possession?

My engagement ring.

What is your longest friendship?

MAX! I've known him since I was 16! Almost ten years yeesh

When did you first feel like an adult?

I still don't sometimes. But I'd just moved into my apartment on the lake to be closer to my job and I was sitting on this empty living room floor and I realised that I was well and truly alone. I wasn't a child at home anymore. I was alone and I was an adult.

Do you/ Have you played any sports?

I played volleyball, baseball, and I did track.

How are you feeling right now?

Like I said bad day, so I'm a bit sad. But I'm watching Max play Lies of P and I'm hanging with friends so hopefully better soon.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Night owl

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Chemical reaction at first sight lol

Favorite song lyrics right now?

"I'm blinded, how am I to find a path that's righteous?"

What does self care look like for you?

iced coffee and nap

Describe yourself with 3 singers.

Tonight Alive, Icon for Hire, Hollywood Undead

What makes you nervous?

everything

What’s a pet peeve you have?

CUTTING ME OFF CAUSE I WALK WEIRD GO AWAY

What will always make you cry?

Tadashi ):

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

Unpleasant. A lot of people don't like me. That's okay

what is your very favorite time of day and why?

3am! When I'm hanging out and its dark and things are quiet and I can just breathe

[wineonmytshirt]

HIII JEEEEEENNNNN 🥰🥰🥰

FIRST AND FOREMOST, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! 💓💓💓 i hope you had the gentlest and best time with your loved ones, and that you spent the time surrounded by all the love and happiness you deserve and so much more! 💖

it's been some time since i last came so i'm afraid i might be asking/talking lots of things today, i hope you don't mind 🥺

ohhh your top of albums and songs makes me go 🤩🤩🤩 dancing with our hands tied is one of my favourite songs; it's so NJSHDBHBHCCDHUYVC. all of folklore of course it's chef's kiss; along with evermore it's my favourite album! (i count them as one because of how much i love them and also to be able to count another album in my top). dear reader and yoyok are also some of my faves off midnights!! i must confess it took some time for the album to grow on me (in contrast to folklore, which was love at first sight and listen) but i agree on it being very raw and honest. on that note, seeing taylor grow and mature, not just as a person but as a musician and lyricist, is a very special thing to witness; and watching her most recent work, such as midnights, portraying and embodying that growth (which many of us have had too along the years), is just something that makes me very touched.

PARALLELS!!! the colour references are just!!!!! just!!!!! i love them too!!! i wish i could rant about them as eloquently as some people in this fandom but my only braincell can only do so much. my favourite perhaps might be the blue in hoax (don't want no other shade of blue, but you) and the golden in dancing with our hands tied (deep blue, but you painted me golden). picture me screaming crying etc just thinking about it (i am very normal about it). also i just remembered a line from troye sivan's blue (i want you, i'll colour me blue) that is making me lose my mind sjdhbhdbdfh.

i'm soooo eager for the lavender haze video 😭😭😭 i love the song and the visuals we've seen are absolutely gorgeous so i'm like ahhhhhh just drop it please 😭😭😭

asides from taylor, what are some of your favourite artists? what other albums do you love? what other songs hold a special place in your heart? what was your top spotify wrapped song this year? what is your favourite song taylor has written (considering the lyrics only)? if you were to describe yourself in three songs (from taylor or any artist), what songs would they be? what is/are your favourite books? what is your favourite drink? what is your favourite season? besides english, do you speak any other language?👀👀👀👀

oh lastly, from all the words you know, what is your favourite word? this one's just a dumb curiosity of mine 😅

finally some misc stuff:

OMG WHAT DO YOU MEAN FALL OUT BOY CHANGED THEIR ICON AND ARE POSTIGN THINGS??? i've been eager to see new music from them but i don't really follow them that much, although i really like some of their albums

scarlet and maroon are the cutest kangaroos i've seen 🥺🥺🥺they look so fluffy i am cryinggggg

i saw your comfort movie is disney's alice in wonderland, that's so cool 😭; do you like disney movies? (asking cause i love those movies!)

the edit you posted is so pretty!! i love that question...? lyric JSBHDYBYD

OH MY GOD YOUR CAT IS ADORABLE I'M CRYINGGGGGG SO FLUFFY SO CUTE I'M- DJBHJBFDVGFVFVFDFSDHBDHGDVYDVDGVCRGRVFR [santaswiftie.exe has stopped working]

after such an extense ask, i just want to send you lots of hugs and best wishes 🥰 i hope you're healthy and doing well, and i'll read you soon 👀 also i apologise in advance if there's any spelling or grammar mistake in here, i am more worried about accidentally not hitting the anon ask option and exposing myself like a clown 🤡

-🎅 (your santa swiftie) (clarifying since i'm sending this from my laptop and i'm not sure if i picked the right emoji)

HIIII SANTASWIFTIE 🥰🥰🥰 I'm gonna answer this in parts as you have sent it lol MERRY CHRISTMAS (Late) i hope yours was wonderful darling, xo ask away i am ready

I'M GLAD YOU AGREE WE BOTH HAVE TASTE lol.. i love watching taylor grow. as a person, a lyricist, a public figure, a woman.. i love her. i can't wait to see what she does next. when i see her live i think i'm gonna completely fall apart lmao

THE BLUE REFERENCES!!!!!! YES!!!!!! AND all of the different reds!!! PURPLE PINK SKIES. i could go on and on. her use of color is so good because it literally paints a picture in your mind of what she is saying. queen shit.

lavender haze mv is gonna kill me i can't wait for more big tshirt dancey taylor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok my other top artists are: halsey, harry styles, 5SOS, fall out boy, demi lovato, twenty one pilots, ariana grande, lorde. ALBUMS OMG. 5SOS5. manic by halsey, mania by fall out boy (I'm bipolar so this is funny to me) leave this town by daughtry. melodrama. metamorphosis, hilary duff. let go, avril lavigne. if i can't have love i want power, BADLANDS. someone stop me? emails i can't send.

special songs: two pieces by demi lovato, bishops knife trick by fall out boy, holding on to you by twenty one pilots.. i'm with you by avril. top song this year was STATE OF GRACE (TV) MY BELOVED!!!!!!! oh my god fav taylor song by lyrics only??... probably.. mirrorball. i thinkjfkjdsgj

describing myself in 3 songs: mirrorball (heh), fire starter by demi lovato, still learning by halsey

favorite books: doctor sleep by stephen king <3333 it by stephen king, all of LOTR (Including the hobbit).. wuthering heights !!!!!!

favorite drink: lemonade! if u mean alcoholic.. tequila with any kind of juice or vodka cranberry

favorite season: autumn!!

i took 4 years of spanish in high school and retained a little of it, but otherwise no. my memory is awful, i should have maintained my studies

MY FAVORITE WORD???? .... Bailey. my kitty:)

misc:

fall out boy changed their icon to this weird yin/yang looking thing idek and there's a link to a weird video that makes you think you did drugs and you can rsvp to something without knowing what it is by giving your info this better mean new music i'm losing my MIND.

scarlet and maroon are cuddly but scarlet keeps falling out of maroon's little pocket! thankfully she is attached but between me moving around and cuddling her and my cat playing with it she's like hangin on barely lol

i love disney movies, they comfort me a lot. the older ones more than the recent ones, though.

THANK YOU I LOVE MY EDITS AND I AM PROUD OF THEM

Bailey is the fluffy king of my heart

thank you so much this was really fun to answer all of these!!!! you're still a mystery, don't worry !!! you're the best xo hope you're well honey!!!

[monster-energies]

whatever a moon has always meant, and whatever a sun will always sing is you

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

pairing: severus snape/reader

summary:   when a slytherin house meeting brings you and the outcast severus snape together, you find out secrets about one another which ends up saving him, but as time goes by and you become colleagues, it looks like he would save you in the process.

warnings: this oneshot depicts the following. 1. implied/references to self harm ( and takes action ), 2. implied/references to attempted suicide ( and takes action ), 3. implied eating disorder but nothing specific, 4. issues with body image, 5. heavy angst...and i mean heavy please be mindful when reading this oneshot and don't read it if you feel uncomfortable

rating: mature

word count:   7006

author’s note: the title's namesake is lyrics from the piece i carry your heart by eric whitacre. now because i am musical theatre and choir kid ( the worst combination to society there is...SHDHSHS JOKING ) i am an absolute sucker for eric whitacre,,,i love his works and i never realized how his music fit menacingly well with severus so hey... i milk the song and i make fanfic out of it 😎

i recommend listening to the following as you read:

1. sleep

2. hurt

3. i carry your heart

all of which by eric whitacre, so that you can be in absolute turmoil 😼

believe me, i probably cried whilst writing this so if i was in turmoil, you should be too. JUST KIDDING...or am i ?

on a lighter note, i watched robin hood prince of thieves and it was a bundle of chaos and i absolutely loved all 2 hours and 35 minutes of it, alan rickman went absolutely feral for the sheriff of nottingham and i ADORED IT,,so iconic 11/10 would recommend to you

this oneshot can be found on archive of our own

i hope you enjoy reading, comments and feedback is much appreciated !

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

always the outsider, he never entirely fit in with anyone. not even with his own hogwarts house. whilst he was a slytherin, he didn’t feel as if he blended in with everyone. he was the first of his kind there, everyone that wore the snake crest on their robe, were a pureblood. but he was cast aside as the half-blood git.

the moment he saw lily evans around that boy…the wretched gryffindor, james potter he knew that she was no longer coming back to him. severus only wished the best for lily and severus knew on the worst day of his life, if it meant she was happy with him, then so be it.

he was cast aside by everyone. he looked around the slytherin common room to see the students gathering round the table, it was probably time for the slytherin meeting. he was apprehensive.

“hey snivellus! hurry up.” a slytherin called.

he looked up and sighed as he put his book and quill down and joined the other slytherins on the table. they had their regular meal, he was frozen in his seat. he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t eat…well he did but was more or less the scraps that he could find in his already empty fridge in the already empty and worn down home at spinner’s end.

severus looked at the full plate, just looking at it made his stomach quench. he couldn’t eat any of that. if he didn’t then it would be rude and against the slytherin code of conduct, if he did eat then he knew that none of it was going to go down.

he looked at the empty chair beside him, was there someone else missing? he mentally counted all of the slytherins in the room, there was one person left.

the doors flung open and there was the one person that was missing.

“miss l/n, glad of you to make it. you’re right on time.” the slytherin prefect lucius malfoy said.

that was who.

he had seen you around, he was certain that the sorting house would have made a mistake. there was no way you were a slytherin, for surely you were a hufflepuff or a ravenclaw at heart.

he watched you take a seat next to him, then the slytherins on the long table of the common room begun to eat, it was the fortnightly sunday roast.

severus picked up the yorkshire pudding and took a bite of it, he couldn’t care if the knife and fork was next to him, the poor boy had grown accustomed to eating with his bare hands, he hurriedly downed the roast lamb before him before taking a huge gulp of the cherry juice in the cup. the students all looked to him in disgust, how could a boy eat like that?

“this is the act of a half-blood surely.”

“merlin what a git!”

he looked to the slytherins, his cheeks flushing from embarrassment before sinking down to his chair. you looked over to the boy next to him and couldn’t help but frown. why were they all so mean to him?

as the collective house continued to eat, he looked over to the young girl beside him. a silence lingered between severus and the room but when he watched you smiling kindly at the fellow slytherins around her.

lucius malfoy had brought it upon his house that they had been on a bit of a losing streak, for reasons unbeknownst to him, but to everybody else they knew that severus was the sole reason they were losing so many house points.

once the meeting was surely over, everyone had gone about their usual business. you looked over at the boy that was sat next to you during the slytherin meal, and then back to lucius who gestured you to come over.

“who was that boy?” you asked.

“the half-blood?” lucius responded back.

regrettably, you didn’t want to agree considering it would have been very insulting to the boy.

“that was severus snape, he’s not really like us wizards. he doesn’t make a big effort to join us all the time. perhaps he could use a friend.” lucius suggested.

“he sure does look very lonely.” you admitted.

“rightly so, he’s been like this since 5th year. i knew he was a more quiet addition to slytherin but…things got in the way of the poor boy.” lucius continued.

you only nodded, your heart slowly stung at the words half-blood. it was almost as if it was used in a hurtful manner, you wouldn’t wish that upon anybody.

“give him a little nudge, maybe he needs someone.” lucius said.

you nodded at his words, thanking him for conversing with you. lucius looked over to his lover narcissa who approached him with a kiss, lucius found himself a little flustered for a moment but then found his hands at the young narcissa’s grasp.

you disappeared to your chambers, you had your books open as you were practicing your charms but was suddenly interrupted by a knock on your open door. you looked up from your books and there he stood.

“hello, how can i help you?” you asked.

“everyone is really noisy out there…can i stay here?” the boy asked. he looked like he exhausted himself out but you didn’t know what it was that made him so tired.

you kindly smiled to him and nodded, “would you like me to close the door? perhaps some silencing charms?” you offered.

“just close the door.” he answered. you closed your chamber door, he looked around your room. severus looked at everything, analysing every object.

you didn’t object or kick him out like the other slytherins would. you let him have a look, his fingers slowly trailed to a snowglobe.

“where is this from?” he asked.

“its…from a muggle shop in london. i visit there from time to time.” you answered.

“a muggle shop? are you…a muggle?” he asked again

“no…if i tell you, you have to promise me not to laugh.” you replied.

“okay…”

“i’m a half-blood.” you revealed.

severus’ eyes widened, he had to take a step back. there was really another one of him, the half human and half wizard.

“shh shhh, they’ll hear.” you hushed him, he really couldn’t contain his shock.

another half-blood.

“you know what the slytherins are like.” you said.

“you’re studying?”

“yes i was. for charms, in fact i actually finished quite a while ago.”

severus had a book cluctched to him, it was advanced potions making. you knew of this book and it didn’t go unnoticed that you had been staring at the cover for quite a while.

“would you like to study potions?” you offered kindly.

severus nodded, before getting out your cauldron and placing it between both of you.

“i’m y/n l/n by the way.” you introduced.

“severus…snape.” he responded back. you watched him open the potions book and you both seemed to study together.

how long was out of the question, you studied until the day turned to night. you noticed severus yawning in between instructions, which worried you slightly.

“severus…” you softly called to him, you dragged the cauldron away but he grabbed a hold of your arm.

“i have to keep going.” severus uttered, his tone completely out of fear.

“you don’t have to, you need rest.” you said.

severus eventually let go of your hand as he only nodded, grabbing his wand and his books before slowly approaching the door.

“i’ll be here if you need anything.” you reassured him. severus looked to you a furrowed brow, and only nodded.

for once severus had a feeling and he wasn’t sure of what it was. he wasn’t shoved out like the rest of his slytherin acquaintances.

he didn’t know what that feeling was but he hoped that it stayed for as long as he needed.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

hogwarts was supposed to be an endearing and thrilling experience for every witch and wizard alike, regardless whether their families were muggles or purebloods. it shouldn’t have to be one filled with turmoil and agony.

severus unfortunately experienced the latter.

unwarranted hatred and bullying was enough for the poor boy to hide in the bathrooms before his classes. if it were on a bad day, he’d have skipped his classes entirely. severus looked around and he saw that same girl who let him study for potions.

he clutched his arm, he saw you parted ways with your classmates but when your eyes met his nothing but worry washed over you.

“sev!” you called as you grabbed his arm and dragged him into a store cupboard.

“what happened?” you asked.

“i…i grazed my arm whilst getting ingredients in the forest.” severus answered.

“you’re lying.” you said quite bluntly.

“you cross your fingers when you lie.” you noted.

severus looked down at his crossed fingers and quickly uncrossed them. you put a hand on his and slowly revealed the freshly cut scars.

you couldn’t be shocked and scald him for such a thing, you fell victim to hurting yourself before. the thought wavered here and there but you held yourself back, found other ways to cope through tough times.

as you tried to remember the incantation for a healing spell, you looked over to see a bunch of bandages so you took them and treated to his scars.

severus, stood completely shocked. nobody would have noticed, they would have continued on with their daily lives brushing him along.

“there…please, whatever is going on… don’t do this to yourself.” you said, you looked down and saw you were still grasping at his hand. you slowly let go, and severus dashed out. you watched severus go off to where he was supposed to.

you frowned to yourself, how could he continue being so alone?

either way, you wanted to help him. you saw how much misery he went through everyday and as fellow slytherins, you couldn’t put up with that.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

as the years had gone by, severus always seemed to bump into you almost all the time. even having a potions class together at one point.

it was like you were there for him when he needed you the most.

you never refused him.

you never shut him out like the rest of the school did.

you let him in with open arms and you were always here to help him.

that was odd.

severus found himself on the floor, someone had tripped him over on purpose, he scrambled to get his things but then he found you again, you picked up the books he dropped. you gave him a kind smile, but he grabbed the books from out of your hands and stormed off.

“severus come back!” you called. you followed behind him like a lost puppy, trying to convince him that everything would get better.

“severus, i’m sure that they didn’t do that on purpose. just come back to classes please, everyone’s worried about you.” you said as you followed him out of school and into the open fields of the hogwarts grounds.

“is any of this worth it y/n? it’s not…just go, and leave me alone!” severus called.

as he walked away, you didn’t give up and ran up to him, turning him around and pulling him into a hug.

at first, severus’ arms were raised, he didn’t know what to do but then slowly…his arms rested on your back. the first embrace he had ever been given as far as he could remember.

severus sighed and let you hug him, guilt rushed into him. you were only trying to help him, and he was constantly shoving you aside.

whilst inside he was grateful that someone looked out for him, he was scared. he didn’t want you to be hurt when you were around him, but perhaps he could let it slide.

just this once.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

the day that severus let you into his life, he cherished you like he would have done with lily. all those bad feelings that he once had, the lurking feeling of the grim reaper knocking on his door slowly went away. the pain he felt physically and emotionally was dwindling.

you both seemed to have potions class together which just so happened to be severus’ favourite subject, well…it was. he didn’t know what made him stop having this adoration for such a subject. if anything he was busy working on a spell and that was more interesting than reviewing vertiaserum or polyjuice potions.

it seemed like a cycle for him, he would wake up, get tormented by those wretched marauders, go to classes, get tormented by the slytherins and go to sleep.

the only time that he found happiness was with you. those times when he was with you were the days he actually smiled. he was gentle, he was kind.

but sometimes that wasn’t enough, whilst you were there for him and you were always there to help him…it couldn’t escape the torment that was put under.

it seemed like every day was agony. severus was slowly falling back to his old ways, once the potions class was over severus rushed out of class. he hid in his chambers, there was so much emotions that he couldn’t put it into words.

he looked to the quill and parchment paper on his desk, he was no longer needed. not now, not ever.

to my y/n l/n,

i know you would probably find this letter after you noticed me rushing out of class. but please don’t go looking for me…it feels right of me to do such a thing. for years i have been casted away, from my family, from the people i cherish near and dear to my heart and now, the school. i am not wanted by anything or anyone and by this point, i serve no purpose in life. not mine or yours. i beg of you not to search for me, in this time for i will no longer be burdening your presence.

sincerely,

severus tobias snape.

when you found the letter, you rushed through every single place that you known of in hogwarts. calling out his name, hoping that this was all a dream.  |you found the bathroom door open, you rushed in and you found him lifeless on the ground and his arms exposed. blood flooded out like a waterfall.

you panicked, but you cared deeply for him. you lifted his head and pressed some tissues onto his arms, but that wasn’t enough. they needed stitches as soon as possible.

“help! someone help!” you screamed, you cradled severus’ body as you cried. hoping that he didn’t go down that route.

you saw professor mcgonagall rush out and the sight shocked her. “what on earth happened?” she shrieked.

“severus…he needs help professor, please help him!” you sobbed.

“he has to be taken to the hospital wing immediately.” professor mcgonagall announced, you did as was told, carrying him into the hospital wing where madam pompfrey took care of the situation at hand, you were ushered out of the hospital wing being told to wait outside.

you refused and wanted to be there for your friend. but they insisted, as you sat outside the hospital wing, some of your classmates had gone past giving you sympathetic smiles as they walked past.

you looked up at the door opening and you saw professor mcgonagall and madam pompfrey come out.

“how is severus?” you asked.

“madam pompfrey managed to successfully heal all of the fresh scars, they have been treated but he’s still unconscious.” professor mcgonagall answered.

“can i see him?” you asked, with that hopeful look on your face.

madame pomfrey looked to you and opened the door to the hospital wing, you saw severus’ lifeless body and you held your hand into his. he had so many burdens, you wanted to release him of all that hate he had.

oh how you wished that for him.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

“hey sev! over here.” you called, now both in your seventh year you and severus found each other close than before. he looked over to you and sat beside you under the whomping willow, which seemed dormant for now. you prepared a picnic for him, he sat down on the rug and took in the scene. it was quite a beautiful sight in the summer no doubt.

but times were a’changing.

tomorrow would be your last time at hogwarts before you all moved on with your lives. you looked over to the boy who was taking in the scenery, the sandwich in his hand as he looked over to his notebook from time to time.

“will you miss this place severus?” you asked.

“no…” he answered.

you frowned slightly at his response, but then he said, “but you seemed to make it better…so i guess i’ll see the silver lining.” severus admitted.

your lips perked into the warmest smile as he only seemed to roll his eyes at your expression.

“will you write to me?” you asked.

“if you would like.” severus answered.

you smiled and scooted closer, in all honesty severus couldn’t help but enjoy your presence. you seemed to make everything around him better and it looked like there was a light forming at the end of his tunnel.

“severus…can you promise me something?” you asked.

he looked over to you and raised a brow.

“its nothing spectacular or over the top….i just want you to promise me…to don’t ever forget me.” you mumbled, turning away at the promise that come out of your mouth.

“oh y/n…how could i ever forget you, you have my word. i’ll always remember you.” severus said, taking a hold of your hand.

“can i…hug you?” you asked.

severus only nodded and you pulled him into your embrace, severus slowly tensed up but he relaxed shortly after. that was where he wanted to be, if you were there then he would go with you.

wherever you went.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

14.07 .

dear severus snape,

i hope this letter finds you well.

i shall assume life outside of hogwarts is going swiftly?

one thing i completely forgot about leaving hogwarts was that there was so many hobbies that i had picked up but had to drop them for the sake of o.w.l.s and n.e.w.t.s but now that’s out of the way, i think i’ll try my hand at writing. you always seem to tell me i have a way with words, so why not?

how about you? have you picked up any hobbies lately? i know you probably need something to keep you away from all reality, considering all that happened. i hear spinner’s end is a very gloomy place and it doesn’t fare well in the housing market, but if you’re happy staying there then i’m happy of course.

have a wonderful day severus.

y/n l/n

15.07.

dear y/n l/n,

i knew you’d write to me right after we leave hogwarts. you should know by now that i’ve been perfecting quite a few spells and potions by now. i don’t think i’ll be picking up any interests considering those are the things that are taking up my time. you know of the sectumsempra spell and its counter-spell…those are the current spells i’m currently working on. i’ve tested it several times and its power is something i haven’t seen in any aggressive even defensive spell i’ve seen.

i hope to make at least some progress with it.

i hope you’re well also.

severus snape.

17.07

dear severus,

you told me about sectumsempra, and i’ve kept my secret. not a single sould knows of it! i’m glad that you’ve been keeping to your studies even outside of hogwarts.if you would to, you’re more than welcome to come to my place for a bit. perhaps a change of scene is what you need. whenever i feel down, i would always go to the park to keep my mind at peace. perhaps you should do something like that also.

i’ve bene well, it looks like this writing thing has become quite the hit for me, i’ve been writing non stop but i’ve been kind of quiet about it. i want to bring it to a publishing company here in the wizarding world, or the muggle world…but i’m not so sure. i’ve heard the book industry is extremely tough, even tougher than potions!

forgive me if i’m babbling on about nothing, i’m sure i’ve taken up quite a bit of your time i’ll leave you to your work.

sincerely,

y/n l/n.

you replied to every letter he sent and so did he but after some time, the letters stopped coming.

26.10.

dear severus,

i hope you’re keeping well. in all honesty i haven’t. i’ve been very worried. you haven’t replied in quite a while. i hope nothing bad has happened. did i do something to upset you, if i have then i sincerely apologize. i just wish you to be safe and in good safety.

sincerely,

y/n l/n

then the letters stopped.

they just…

stopped.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

severus looked up to the uniform that was hung up on the door.

another year at hogwarts bestowed before him.

he had been teaching there for 5 years, he sluggishly got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. he looked into the mirror, sweat dripping from his face as he looked into his own reflection with absolute panic.

it had been like this for quite some time, he didn’t know what caused this. it was like something was missing from his life but it was so far away from him and he couldn’t tell what or who it was. he splashed water across his perspiring face and dried it off.

he took the uniform from his hanger and placed it on the bed, slipping into his trousers and doing the buttons on his left leg and slowly shifting to his right leg. before he got up and grabbed his shirt, he looked into the long mirror that was before him.

he could remember back in his youth how his hair was so fine and only reach to his cheekbones but now it has grown longer than usual. he could have easily chopped it off but then he slowly begun to remember how his father hated his appearance, wanting him to have the all round masculine military look.

he hated it.

he hated his father.

his mother did absolutely nothing to defend her self.

he couldn’t either.

severus had no doubt gained bit of weight, much to his surprise. he thought that with the little appetite he had, he would have remained that ghastly appearance. it must have been from all the cauldrons he had been lugging around during his time as potions professor.

the one thing he hated about spinner’s end was how deadly quiet everything was. his thoughts were loud and wide awake, severus was probably more than convinced that he could hear them echoing at some point.

a single teardrop made his way to his shirt at hand which was more than enough to snap him out of whatever daydream he was in.

this was unfortunately the price he paid for being a capricorn. always so stubborn and daydreaming about things that were never supposed to happen. he put the shirt on and did every button presented before him, all the way to his neck. no doubt to the average person, that would be suffocation at its finest.

but this was not a joke to him, he had been exposed for far too long and if it meant keeping himself to himself, even in his clothing then so be it. he grabbed the black robe, starting from the bottom he did up every button there was until he reached his neck, his fingers slowly trailed to the buttons of his sleeves, slowing doing them to his hands.

whilst it hadn’t shown, there was obvious panic that instantly rushed through him. he was going back to the place that he was most hated for 7 years.

severus then took  a hold of his cloak and wore it. it’s material flowing ever so gracefully in the air, he looked into the mirror before closing his eyes and opening them. he knew that whenever he wore this uniform, it brought him a new confidence. something that no other inanimate object had brought him.

when he arrived into hogwarts, he looked around the great hall to see all of the teachers that landed in their respective roles.

“ah severus, good to see you here for another year.” professor dumbledore said before going off to greet some of the other teachers.

severus only nodded, he didn’t want to be here. he just needed to get back to his class. all of a sudden, he then heard a voice, one that was very familiar to him.

“thank you professor dumbledore…i hope you have a good school year as well.”

severus turned back and saw the secen that unravelled before him. one by one the teachers had left to go to their chambers, until it was him and one lady there.

that was you.

it was you.

you looked over and there you saw him.

you had a smile on your face that could light up the entire hall. you ran as fast as you could and you jumped into his arms.

severus pulled you into his embrace as you let yourself completely relax in his company. once you both let go, you looked into his eyes for a moment before your face perked up another smile.

“hello severus.” you said tearfully. you wiped away your tears after he let you go, the height difference between you two being quite prominent in this moment.

“hello y/n.” he replied back, a small smirk left his face but it was apparent that you could see it.

“i missed you.”  you admitted him.

“you did?” he asked with a hint of shock in his voice. you only replied with a nod, and then that smile of yours.

“come…we have so much to catch up on!” you said, taking a hold of his hand and leading him to your classroom.

severus wasn’t used to this at all, he was in the comforts of moping around in his classroom, glaring at his endless lesson plans and assignments…but yet you wanted to make sure that he was left with a somewhat decent year at hogwarts.

when he entered your classroom, he looked at all the little details. he went over to the shelves nearby and picked up the same snow globe that you kept in your youth.

“you still have the snow globe.” he pointed out.

you nodded and held it with him, “that’s how we met…you still remember don’t you?” you asked.

severus put the snowglobe down and he took your hands. you looked up at him, that yearnful glare in your eyes showing as you lifted your lips into a warm smile.

“how could i forget such a thing? of course i do.” severus said, it warmed your hear that severus still remembered the good times from his school years and not just the sheer torment he went through.

you looked away for a moment, but then you felt his fingers at your chin lifting them slowly and then that was when severus had done it.

he pulled you into a warm kiss, to which he had control over, one hand cupped your cheek and the other was at your waist, you felt his lips cross paths with yours as you both shared each other’s breath. his scent lingered all over your body, his hand travelled from your waist and now both of his hands landed on your cheeks.

the moment you both pulled back, small tears spiked your eyes. worry rushed to him as he wiped your tears in fear that the kiss was a mistake. you could practically feel his hands trembling on your face.

you took both of his hands and held them close to you, assuring him that the kiss wasn’t something to remorse over.

“i’ve waited years…for you to do that.” you said.

“how long as it been?” severus asked.

“far too long for me to remember.” you answered, you pressed a soft kiss to forehead as you then had your arms around him.

”you’re all i’ve ever wanted y/n. would you…you know-”

“be yours? to love and gently hold for the rest of your life? to be with you?” you intervened with his words, you picked up on how hesitant he was to ask such a question that could bind them together for the rest of their lives.

severus nodded at your response, you beamed into a warm smile and said, “of course…i’ll always be yours.”

for once in his life, there was a glimmer in his eyes just from looking at you. he then pulled you into a tender hug, burying his face into your hair as he tried to hide his smile but when you pulled away from the hug, you knew that he was still scared to show you the true severus.

“you don’t need to be afraid anymore my love.” you reassured, the moment in which you said such kind words that was when his lips slowly pulled into a warm smirk.

it wasn’t much to severus but to you it made your heart warm.

“i love you.” you told him.

“me too...y/n.” he replied.

you knew it would take a while for him to say those 3 words but you would wait for him whatever the cost.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

you and severus ultimately decided that your relationship was kept private from the school, you both felt like either of you would break the news when the time slowly came but, in the words of dumbledore…you and severus would be a secret, so naturally the whole school knows.

you didn’t want to be in a sticky position so the best way was to keep it between you two.

upon catching up with your new lover, he hadn’t changed in the slightest. it warmed your heart that he was still the same as was back when the both of you were at school.

aside from the evenings, one of the times were you and him were free to do as you please was lunch time. severus had always been cooped up in his classroom, marking countless rolls of parchment paper. you’d always bring him lunch and you would both catch up on the days you were having thus far.

you knew that severus had a rocky relationship with food and how he perceived his body. you looked down at the plates of food that were in your grasp, you didn’t serve him a 4 course meal nor did you serve him rations. it looked as if it was a decent amount that he could eat, in the recent years that seemed to slowly improve, sometimes that feeling would come and go for him however, you were always quick to assure that he was perfect just the way he was, and that you were proud of him for overcoming such tough times.

severus opened the door for you as you then approached his desk and placed both plates down at his desk.

“the usual?” severus asked.

you nodded with a kind smile.

you both sat down and caught up on your days, severus spoke about how his class was interrupted by that nuisance defence against the dark arts teacher, gilderoy lockheart, upon discovering that he accidentally turned neville longbottom into a crane fly and wasn’t able to catch him.

your day was no exception however it had been slightly less tamer than his. you both ended up reminiscing about your school days which was something severus never thought he would be able to do. looking back on his past, there was nothing that he particularly enjoyed. but adding you into the equation made him appreciate life in all its bizarre ways.

you fell a little quiet, fiddling around with the hem of your cloak, avoiding severus’ gaze from time to time, to which severus easily picked up.

“y/n?”

you looked up instantly at the sound of his voice.

“is everything okay?” he couldn’t help but ask, you usually weren’t so quiet so this was instantly suspicious.

“i’m fine.” you answered.

“are you sure?”

you only nodded at his response.

he hummed as he took a hold of your hand, and pressed a kiss to your head. “i love you.” you said.

“of course.” severus answered back, you grinned at him before you bade your farewells and headed off to continue your day.

for once you were the one that felt guilty for not telling him. that you had overcome far too much, sure your relationship with him was still fresh so there would still be a lot of time for him to be told such things.

you looked around to see your class sat down and ready to learn, but as you begun to teach them your mind seemed to be in other places that weren’t the history of magic.

you seemed very lost in thought, the words that had come out may have seemed useful to your students but to you it sounded like gibberish. when your classes was over, you felt your own thoughts echo around you.

you felt your heart race as you had an instinct to run as fast as you could. you headed into the girl’s lavatory, in search of something, scavenging through every ounce of the room, then you found them.

you found them.

clenching one to your fists, you made an attempt to hide in the cubicles but then you forgot…nobody goes in the girl’s toilets.

“oooh naughty naughty. nobody will be happy about that silly y/n.” the ghost moaning myrtle giggled as she then wailed. you couldn’t utter the words to tell her to shove off, you heard the door open and you tried to flee to get what you were looking for.

“y/n!” it was severus, he had instantly heard from one of your students that you weren’t doing too well.

“go away!” you spat out, trying to escape from him but before you could even reach for the door, severus had grabbed you in time.

your fists completely balled up, and blood dripping from your arms and the palms of your hands, you screamed out trying to set yourself free but to no avail.

“let go of me! let go of me!” you shrilled, instantly dropping what was the blades in your grasp.

“please…go…i’m not worthy of you…i can’t do this.” you screams turned to sobs as you sloped down to the ground.

you had the weight of the world on your shoulders and not a single burden relieved you. you sobbed into your bloody hands as severus wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your shoulder, whispering tiny reassurances to you in an attempt to calm you down.

as time had gone on, you had slowly calmed down in the presence of severus. you uncovered your face and for the first time in what seemed like hours, you looked into his eyes. his brows furrowed as his hands slowly made your way to your sleeves, the moment he unravelled them he saw what you had been hiding.

you had relapsed.

you fell back into the trap of hurting.

the scars had been exposed to severus. he could never be disappointed with you, he couldn’t be stern with you, you were vulnerable, and he wanted to help and protect you, just as you did with him.

he grabbed his hand from his sleeve and apparated to his chambers, severus helped you onto the chair beside the round table.

you looked down at the trails of blood all over your arms, you were ashamed and wanted to hide them from severus, the temptation was all too much but it slowly withered away as he then came back with what looked like some bandages. he had his cloak taken off and was left in his frock coat.

“you’re…you’re not mad, are you?” you uttered out. you looked away from him for short moments before your eyes landed to your trousers.

“why would i be upset?” severus asked.

you shrugged.

severus grabbed some wipes, and cleaned off all the blood on your arms, which left you wincing at the pain. you  squeezed severus’ lower arm as you whimpered.

“it hurts.” you quivered.

“i know my love. i’m right here.” severus soothed, he looked over to his arm and sighed. he put the bandages down for a moment.

“can i show you something?” severus asked. you nodded.

severus put his arm on the table, where yours laid beside him. you both unbuttoned his right sleeve and there you saw his scars, they healed tremendously over the past few years.

“since our time at hogwarts, i hadn’t hurt myself since that day you saved me…i couldn’t be more grateful for you, so please…don’t feel unworthy of me.” severus reassured you, which brought a small smile to your face but it instantly turned to a frown.

“look at me.”

you slowly brought your eyes to met your lover’s, the urge to look away was so strong but something about him enthralled you into keeping your gaze at him.

“you are strong, and loved. you’ve come a very long way y/n. and i’m so proud of you, i love you y/n.” severus said as then wrapped your arms and palm of your right hand  in bandages and pressed kisses to your hands.

“i love you…so much y/n.”

“i love you too sev.”

you buttoned his sleeve back to how it was, your hands made your way to his and you took a hold of them, before suddenly letting go.

“my classes…i have to go back-”

“i’ve had someone else cover your classes. you need to focus on yourself.” severus reassured you, taking your hands back into his grasp.

you looked over at the door to severus’ chambers and nodded. his fingers slowly made his way to the back of your head, playing around with your hair as you sat with him in the silence.

“you’re so beautiful, sweetheart.” severus said.

your cheeks heated up at his words, your lips tempting you into a smile.

“now now kitten, where’s that smile hmm? i know its there, come on…where is it?” severus teased playfully as his fingers made his way down to your chin, tickling it playfully which made you let out small little giggles as your smile grew a little larger.

“there it is.”

your warm smile lingered as you pulled severus into a warm hug, severus no longer tensed up at your touch, letting your embrace warm him.

in a way that he didn’t realize, you both saved each other.

and he was eternally grateful for you.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

“sev, come on are you ready?” you asked.

“just a moment y/n.” he said, you looked over to severus who had been adjusting himself for around 5 minutes.

you looked over to him, he was sporting his long coat accompanying with his cloak underneath and a scarf that you knitted especially for him. you approached him with another scarf but whilst both had been in plain black, this new one had your shared patronus engraved in silver. severus noticed the change when he had defended a slytherin from a dementor, it changed from a doe to a phoenix.

he adored it, wrapping the second scarf under the first and taking your hand in yours as you both made your way outside.

november was always the chilliest month but it gave both of you the excuse to dress up warm.

you had taken a few days off of your work due to the incident that happened earlier in the week, which left you a little weary of things but with severus by your side, it made those days at least bearable.

your childhood friend.

now soulmate and your lover.

“can i ask a question sev…it’s going to sound very silly but you’ll have to bear with me.” you said.

severus hummed as he let you continue.

“do you like it…you know, being here with me? sometimes i don’t feel like you deserve me.” you admitted as you took a walk around the open fields of the school.

you both stopped in your tracks and severus cupped your cheek, you could feel the warmth of his hands through the gloves but since they were fingerless gloves, you also felt the mix of his cold fingertips.

“y/n l/n, don’t you dare say a thing…my days are filled with absolute bliss with you. i love being around you, you are amazing my dear.” severus answered.

you smiled softly as you wrapped your arms around him, placing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“you’re quite amazing too…putting up with me for, how long now?” you said.

“quite some time, i believe i have something for you.” severus admitted, rummaging through his pocket and giving you a small box.

you tilted your head for a moment and as you opened it, you saw the most beautiful necklace with your phoenix patronus on it. your grin grew larger and small tears filled your eyes.

“it’s beautiful sev.” you uttered out.

“do you like it?”

“of course i do, i love it…thank you so much, love.” you said as you jumped into his arms and you both intertwined with a warm kiss.

“i love you y/n…oh y/n my beautiful girl, i love you.”

“i love you too severus.”

it was meant to be.

you both saved each other and in the process, you grew to be better people.

that slytherin meeting all those years ago, sealed your fate.

and the both of you had so much love for one another, it was at a point that neither of you could describe into words.

you both saved each other and you’d hoped to do such a thing all the way to the very end.

like you always would.

[4dtk]

heloo! can I request hand-holding (3), kisses (6, 12) hugs (32) and touching (12) with renjun, thank uu^^

why do my renjun drabbles always end up so long LOL . btw age old kiss under the mistletoe <3 never too early for x’ams imagines i guess LOL, enjoy!!!

hand-holding, 3: cold hands in warm hands

hugs, 32: long-lasting hugs

kisses, 6 & 12: slow kisses, kisses on the corner of their mouth

touching, 12: pushing a strand of hair behind their ear

renjun’s eyes couldn’t leave yours. well, more of your body as you talked with mark, gesturing grandly about his new single that he dropped. he remembers you playing it whenever you met up, rapping the lyrics back to him that only had renjun groaning in embarrassment. staring around the room, he scans over the members in the party with a smile. having had taken a rest from the all the alcohol earlier, he was glad to be left alone to his… indulgences where no one could interrupt him.

“hey.”

“gah! wh- what the hell?” haechan shocks him out of his stupor, easily avoiding a smack on the back from renjun. his laughter gains attention from others, but otherwise they just return a cheeky laugh back while conversing. soon, the other is able to pick up on his loneliness, partially blaming it on the crazy challenge he dared renjun to do earlier. the partial reason, however..

“are you ever going to confess to (y/n)?” haechan raises a brow.

“keep it down! christ, hyuck. just because some members here have their partners on their arms doesn’t mean i should rush to make (y/n) mine.”

“oh, but you’re so obvious that it’s tiring to watch,” haechan sighs, taking a swig of his drink. the both of them admire the theme of the party for a little bit, red and green decorations hung from the spacious dorm, held on the fifth floor because they were the ‘cleanest’ (against jungwoo’s wishes and with kun’s agreement, they settled for an early celebration on the 23rd).

the speakers blasted christmas music, no doubt from the talented mr. bublé who was a compulsory artist to listen to, along with other renditions of christmas songs that just felt good. fairy lights from the members’ rooms were brought to be set up. plus, with ten’s recent sunset light purchase that he bought for the felines, the room was soon bathed in joyous lighting that could rival decorations outside.

“dude. the members had to have their partners fly in because they’re both so busy. (y/n)’s already there, c’mon the opportunity is right there — and this is the one time you’re able to unwind and relax. just go for it, man,” haechan is relaxed and laid-back, haven’t yet experienced the palpitations whenever one looks at their crush. the only exception was probably a rookie idol back then, but that was old news.

“if you happen to want to cuddle or fuck later, we’ll leave you alone.” this time, renjun was able to land a punch to his shoulder, expression turned into a scowl.

“you’re right, i guess. i’ll see what i can do.”

a gasp, “renjun admitting i’m right? rare.” renjun gives the other a lighter smack with a smile, chugging down the last bit of his water before heading over to you. he feels like he’s walking through snow whenever he wants to get to you, the resistance strong with each step. curling and uncurling his fingers, he loosened his freezing hands as you wrap up the conversation with mark.

“renjun! have a good rest? donghyuck was trying to avoid you for the past fifteen minutes, because he knew you’d get another headache if he talked to you.”

“i’m having one right now,” renjun jokes, emphasising his point by rubbing some fingers on his temple.

your laugh is like first snow. or like the heater that’s currently fuelling the house with heat. he isn’t sure what to choose, but he knows he likes it and wants to make you laugh more.

“do you need to rest again? i’ll promise i’ll be quiet-“

“delivery?” someone calls out. with a shout, you’re already at the door, receiving another batch of booze since the grocery shopping you went on earlier severely underestimated how much these boys can drink. “oh- uh-“ renjun swoops in like prince charming, hand brushing over yours while he steps forward to help you. they tingle like electricity, deciding against pulling away which would leave you to struggle.

“miss (l/n) (y/n) and mr huang renjun. please freeze in your place,” haechan’s annoying voice penetrates throughout all the conversation happening and you swear the man beside you mutters a curse as you two try to haul the booze past the member. “place the beer down. you aren’t going anywhere, anyway.”

before any of you can ask for an explanation, he points above you which displayed a mistletoe. “surprise!”

the delivery man’s voice scares you, until you realise it’s johnny, hidden under a very smart disguise of a fake moustache and a replica of the uniform. your mouth hangs open even when johnny squeezes past you with the booze effortlessly hanging from one arm, sighing inaudibly at the absence of the heavy drinks.

“so?” the members are looking at you expectedly like they’re watching a movie. there’s endless thoughts swirling in your mind even when renjun grabs your hand with his timid one, but it calms you down just a little when he brushes a thumb over your skin. it’s like you’re waiting for the director to yell out ‘cut!’; even you thought you’d do better on a movie set.

“(y/n)-“

he’s cut off by your lips crashing onto his, garnering a few ooohs and ahhs, including the satisfied smiles and sighs of relief. renjun’s lips taste like a mixture of the candy cane drink he spat out earlier, and some whiskey with coke. it’s a confusing taste, but with the pace your lips are moving with each other, it allows you to draw out every other time you imagined kissing huang renjun.

it doesn’t even come close, if you’re being honest and even if you’re standing in front of countless other men he calls his members in a ridiculously sized k-pop group. renjun deepens the kiss when he turns his head, cold, but clammy hands coming up the cup your cheeks. they shock you for just a bit and there’s a shameless smile into the kiss as renjun continues to deliver pecks onto your own.

he chuckle and it sounds like well-written christmas movies, or the very first listen to michael bublé’s christmas album. you aren’t sure what to choose, but you know you like it and want to make him chuckle more.

in a blink of an eye, you’ve grabbed his hand, heading straight for one of the rooms that you often see when renjun’s gaming with haechan. you recognise it straight away from the set-up and in a rush to shut the door, you stumble just a bit before meeting the hard wood of the door in a roar of laughter.

“great, now they’ve locked two people out,” haechan nudges johnny.

“three!” johnny’s partner calls from the doorway, which makes the living room shake in another round of cheers, getting back into the natural flow of things before everything got interrupted by a plant. faintly, you hear them ask if the plan worked, and haechan’s prideful answer right after.

slowly, you peek out of your hiding spot being your hands. renjun’s eyes shine, “so you like me.” it comes out flatter than he expected and he winces.

you snort, taking a step closer to him on the door, half leaning on it. without any prompting, the other’s arms encircle your waist, now pulling you flush against him while your head rest on his front. the next moments are spent in comfortable silence, the rowdy party going on outside giving you a little of a main character moment. your breathing syncs up, chest expanding and contracting with the deep breaths you take. there’s always a puff of mist leaving your lips, but it appears less now that you’re in your crush’s arms.

“yeah. i like you,” you nod, coming to face him after the tight embrace. his fingers touch your cheek experimentally and you flinch, the pads freezing cold to the touch. maybe it’s because he didn’t touch whiskey for the past half ’n hour. gently, you take his hands in yours. “why’re you always freezing?”

“ugh. you figured me out. tactic to get you to hold my hands.” throwing your head back in a silent laugh, you shake your head in disbelief.

“at least you haven’t caught on to me, holding your hands down so you won’t have to-” a kiss to one corner of his mouth. “restrict me from-” another to the other. “doing this.” lastly to his lips.

renjun entertains your dramatic flair with his jaw hung open. it doesn’t last long, though. “why would i restrict you from doing that?” you shrug, letting go of his hands now that they gained sufficient warmth. renjun silently decides it’s not enough, but first, he wants to kiss you again. his fingers are less freakishly cold now, brushing against your skin to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. it sits there obediently, dissimilar with the way you did it. ‘it always falls out!’ you want to tell him later, but first, you want to kiss him again.

“huang renjun, you drive me crazy.” grinning, renjun knows it’s your way of confessing before his lips collide with yours with the fervour that hallmark movies lacked, and ironically, a plot which hallmark movies embodied. and just like that, you wish you could hold a pause icon over your head, because you wanted this to last for as long as it could.

[lvnatiq]

Random Relationship Headcanons | Felix Escellun x gn!reader

a/n: Hey ! On todays menu I am serving you modern au relationship headcanons. I know for a fact that I can’t write headcanons AT ALL yet here we are, out of spite I will keep trying until I can manage to write good shit. I’m going through a chaotic time in my life so please be patient with me 😭

I’m currently working on tattoo artist! reader x Felix headcanons and college!enemies to lovers one-shot. Knowing that Felix’s fav trope is enemies to lovers, I will post it hopefully before his new chapter drops. I used most of the hcs that were sent to me but if you couldn’t see yours, then it will probably be used on the other works.

No beta we die like men.

warnings: curse words, nsfw under the cut, random sage moments, felix being a ‘the neighborhood’ song basically.

You persuade him to start an Instagram account, and because of his family's popularity, he quickly gains followers. His account is practically empty because he would rather spend his time stalking your account on Instagram. You noticed the emptiness and wanted to take him out and take some photos for his account, which turned out amazingly. He is a little camera shy, so be patient with him.

You like to watch him apply his eyeliner but he finds it so stressing to do under your gaze.  He used to be able to do it easily, but it has now become one of his most difficult tasks. You wanted to ask for his assistance in applying eyeliner to you in the hopes of making it simpler for him; he agreed but quickly regretted it when he realized how near your faces would be. You with your eyes closed, waiting for him to drag the line as he was only thinking about how bad he wanted to kiss you. 

Felix has a Polaroid of you and stella in his wallet I said what I said.

When it comes to himself, he can be a pessimist, but when it comes to you, he is the most loving and positive boyfriend you could ever ask for. You have a dream ? He is ready to help you achieve it. Do you want to change in your life ? Go for it, He’s more excited than you are.

He can be quite insecure at times when it comes to your relationship because he feels like you deserve the world but the world is too big for his tiny hands. Will his cuddles be enough ? God he hopes so.

He almost cried when you told him you loved him for the first time. He's also baffled as to how you might feel the same way about him.

Drunk Felix is really clingy and honest. Whatever he can’t say sober drunk felix can and definitely will.

“May the stars let my death be between your glorious thighs amen-“ “Felix-”

Felix is weird but it add to his charm. It’s not unusual for you to wake up in the middle of the night and find the pillow besides yours empty. In the dead of night, you will find Felix munching on some weird ass food combinations.

He also has a habit of doing things that are extremely adorable without even noticing it. Like walking around the house in his oversized shirts, his hand clutching at the cuffs whilst the other one sheepishly rubs his eye.

“Can I lay on your lap ? I promise I won’t fall asleep. I just need to rest for a little.” His voice is so soft and hushed. “Of course, come here.” He throws himself onto you as he comes hopping on his tip toes.

He falls asleep on his desk too often, so you have to carry him back to his room, where he snuggles against you while you lead him there. Once he's in his room, he insists that you stay with him, so you wait until he falls asleep as you play with his hair, and he wakes up thinking it was all a dream.

I firmly believe that Felix’s love language is acts of service. Like making you coffee and bringing you random snacks as you work or wrapping you up in fluffy blankets whenever he catches you slacking on the couch.

He's been romanticizing anything and everything since he met you. When he sees beautiful flowers, he wants to bring them to you, but he also believes that their beauty stems from the fact that they are alive, so he argues and stresses a lot when deciding what to do in simple situations like these.

His edginess belongs to his impulsiveness and his style only at any other situation he's a complete softboy.

And I'm certain he knows a variety of card tricks. He enjoys showing off, and he enjoys it even more when you become fascinated and beg him to share the trick.

If you're a morning person, you'll probably spend your mornings alone in solitude, finishing work before the day begins, but if you're a night owl, you and Felix will go out for night walks and Felix would go out for night walks, sharing headphones to play some music, enjoy each others presence and develop a habit of watching the sunrise together.

Felix makes you playlists at the most random times and with the most random names. Until one day he sent you a playlist at around 4 a.m called “you”, filled with his favorite music. He usually sees music as a safe space for himself and now that you are his safe place too it’s only appropriate for him to do so. This only further proves how he spends his time thinking about you.

I feel like Felix would have what most would call "attachment issues" but it’s mainly because of his protective tendencies. This is not to say that he’s this "overly jealous toxic" character; rather, he has never had anyone to truly call his own in his entire life so he would do anything to protect it.

Felix is also big on astrology, so if you want the perfect birth chart, he'll give it to you. Also he owns a lovely deck of tarot cards, and if you ask him for a love reading, he can't manage to keep his words and feelings to himself so he modifies your reading according to him and his desires. Let the boy abuse his powers for the sake of love.

His style could be described as dark academia, his wardrobe mainly consists of dark colors, lots and lots of blazers and a lot of oversized shirts. He also loves jewelry so he owns a lot of rings and chains. Just so you know, if you're wearing any of his rings, his heart is doing cartwheels.

Is it obvious that he loves it when you place your hand in his and play with his rings with your fingertips.

Spoil him. Buy him that baby blue hoodie with cat ears.

“Ah, you look adorable.” “Isn’t it a bit too b-big ?” “You could say that. Do you mind ?” “No, I like it that way.” “I would know.” You smirk followed by felix’s gasp. “If you so desperately wanted a cat boy you know you have me right ?” Nudging your shoulder, Sage leapt into the conversation. “What is he talking about ?”  Felix grumbled, only to notice two fuzzy triangular fabrics on top of his head as he brushed his fingertips over it.

He’s obsessed with your hands, kissing your knuckles, drawing circles in your palm. At a certain point it became an involuntary gesture he does it quite often without realizing.

He’s also canonically extremely blushy but he would never admit it. You’re convinced he uses some sort of make up because it is not possible for the pink dusting his cheeks to look this good.

He insists that you’re cold even in the warmest weathers because he wants to see you in his coat.

Sage forces Felix to take his thirst trap Tiktoks.

He really appreciates it when you add to his herbal tea collection without him noticing and he considers it a sign of affection because he takes his tea very seriously.

He loses it when you call him baby he gets flustered and frustrated but it’s all because it rolls off of your tongue so nicely that he can’t get enough of it.

Felix owns a broad collection of scented lip balms some of them are tinted. You didn’t hear this from me.

He never once took anything the Sage says seriously until he saw how well you two got along. He never thought that he would be standing there taking relationship and flirting advice from the frat boy.

Felix is a complete asshole when he wants to. He’s very verbal about it too. Consistent sarcastic remarks and eye rolls. I mean it runs in his blood, look at Escell.

You love it when he suddenly whips out the confident Felix, it’s not a daily occurrence you know.

When Felix is concentrated, he’s lost and there’s almost no way you or anything else can distract him. So it’s time to grab some colorful hair clips and ties to fuck around with his hair.

Felix is not the best at verbally expressing his gratitude towards you. He doesn’t know what he would do if you weren’t there for him at the lowest points of his life where normally he would close himself and bare the weight of his family problems and personal life issues that he can’t seem to get out of. Now he has you, someone who’s willing to listen to him and offer him a warm embrace when he needs the most. 

While you to play games together, when he wins he wears that iconic shit eating grin of his with pride looking at you through the corner of his eye. “Shit, what do you want me to say to that felix ? Perhaps I should call you master now that you won ‘one’ fucking round.” He is praying that the screen light is covering the fact that he is a blushy mess after hearing you say that.

NSFW

I cannot stress this enough but he is extremely vocal in bed. Whining, trying to restrict himself from making too much noise but failing miserably.

Muffled pants, choked sobs and lots of pleasure infused tears.

He loves getting praised during sex but what he loves more is to get praised after it’s all over. Like you telling him how great he was, how well he behaved, how good he made you feel. He experiences sub drops a lot so please assure him that he did well :(

He’s into power-play but not in a submissive or dominant kind of relationship, it’s more of a psychological thing where the fact that he can see how good he makes you feel gives him a rush of confidence and adrenaline.

I believe that this motherfucker is a masochist, pain makes him more excited than getting an update on his favorite author who went on a year long hiatus and that is saying a lot.

Bite him. Scratch him. It is so stimulating for him he can reach his high just from those actions.

Fuck do anything to his ears bite, lick, pull, blow on it. He is extremely sensitive so anything you do will basically drive him out of his mind. It will most definitely lead to him trembling beneath your fingertips.

You must think that you are the only one who is such a tease but you’re wrong. Felix teases you quite often mostly to direct your attention towards him or to keep your attention on him. He’s quite greedy when it comes to you and your hands on his body. Unbuttoning unnecessary amount of buttons on his shirt to show a little skin that he knows you’ll notice. Playing with his necklace placing the chain between his lips dragging it towards the inside of his bottom lip teasing the metallic charm with the tip of his tongue. He definitely ain’t oblivious he knows exactly what he’s doing and he makes sure that you know exactly what he’s doing.

When he’s in the mood he will tug the hem of your top meanwhile his eyes are glued to the floor or graze the temples of his glasses between his lips, his teeth lightly nibbling the pointy edge. He loves to play dumb too. When you question him, he acts like he doesn’t intend anything and that you need to get your head out of the gutter.

At the end of the session Felix looks divine. Drool leaking down from his bottom lip to his jaw line towards his neck, his bangs sticking on his sweat coated forehead, his chest rising up and down quickly. His eyes rolled at the back of his head, his hands still clutching tightly to the sheets. Faint whimpers and deep breaths filling the air.

Leading up to the after care, his shy self returns. He buries his face to your chest hiding his blushy cheeks beneath the palms of his hands.

He likes to experiment a lot and you are his favorite subject.

It shouldn’t be surprising to find random kink definitions or role-play ideas on the search history of your laptop. After all Felix just asked for it to write an email, that’s all there is to it. That’s until you offer to try them out.

He doesn’t act upon his jealousy, what he does instead is that leaving marks on you especially around your neck and your chest where he knows it will show. Don’t cover them up if you don’t wanna deal with him.

“People just don’t appreciate art anymore.” “Felix these are, hickeys.” “Oh so now you are judging my art medium ?” “Since when proving Sage that I got railed by you is a form of art ?”

I didn’t see anyone point this out but whenever he is in the sub space he tends to be more on the bratty side. He starts of shy but his confidence builds up as the tension rises. Meaning that you should be ready to get your patience tested.

When you two are in separate places your suggestive words and tone leads up to phone sex, which Felix secretly fantasized about a lot. What made everything even more dirty was the fact that you didn’t know that he was laying on your bed surrounded by your scent and humping your pillow. Once you come back home you are greeted with a fresh pair of sheets on your bed. Apparently Felix decided to do you a favor and clean your room as well as the the whole house. He’s crossing fingers that you don’t notice because he knows that he’ll never hear the end of it.

Felix knows a lot about sex but his knowledge is based upon fiction rather than experience. So, naturally, he is more interested about learning specifically how your body responds to certain actions, what you enjoy and what you’re interested in so teach him. He’s a good student and oh well he’s a quick learner.

Pull his hair pull his hair put his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair.

When he settles between your legs as he ties his hair, he places the hairband between his lips and looks up at you with half lidded eyes. It’s his definition of torture.

Even though he doesn’t give off that vibe, he is very freaky if you would’ve known what his AO3 tags consisted of you would agree.

Tag list is open

[starksinthenorth]

Musings on ASOIAF Ladies and Ambition

I’ve noticed people use “ambition” to describe Sansa and Daenerys as if it’s a bad word or an insult (often called “power hungry”). Yet in the text of the series, neither of them are shown to be ambitious people as a core characteristic. I blame the series for a lot of this, because it failed to explore the internal dialogue of Sansa, Arya, and even Cersei, who ends up more humanized than either of them by the end (because of the maybe baby).

Cersei Lannister is the classic ambitious ASOIAF lady, whose point-of-view is introduced in perhaps the most iconic sentence of any introductory chapter:

She dreamt she sat the Iron Throne, high above them all.

I can’t think of a sentence in ASOIAF that better introduces the internal thoughts and view of its leading character.

In comparison, Sansa’s first sentence is receiving news about her father’s whereabouts, Daenerys is shown her new dress to meet Drogo, and Arya has crooked stitches again. Arya’s works to frame her relationship with Sansa and her internal struggle to fit the feminine Westerosi mold, while Sansa and Daenerys are setting up plot points. None of these interactions signal ambition, bad or good. Daenerys did not arrange her wedding, Sansa is just told the information by her Septa, and while Arya is aspiring to have straight stitches, that’s hardly an ambitious goal for a girl of nine.

Fans rarely, if ever, deny Cersei’s cruel, cold, often stupid ambition. In fact, it’s one of the reason people seem to love her. She’s internally open about what she wants - power - and when she wants it - now:

All of them are burning now, she told herself, savoring the thought. They are dead and burning, every one, with all their plots and schemes and betrayals. It is my day now. It is my castle and my kingdom.

- AFFC, Cersei III

The rule was hers; Cersei did not mean to give it up until Tommen came of age. I waited, so can he. I waited half my life. She had played the dutiful daughter, the blushing bride, the pliant wife. She had suffered . . . She had contended with Jon Arryn, Ned Stark, and her vile, treacherous, murderous dwarf brother, all the while promising herself that one day it would be her turn. If Margaery Tyrell thinks to cheat me of my hour in the sun, she had bloody well think again.

- AFFC, Cersei V

Cersei is the definition of a power hungry lady, scheming and cheating at every point. Yes, Sansa learned from her, but most of Sansa’s internalized lessons of Cersei’s were to do the exact opposite. 

"The night's first traitors," the queen [Cersei] said, "but not the last, I fear. . . . Another lesson you should learn, if you hope to sit beside my son. . . . The only way to keep your people loyal is to make certain they fear you more than they do the enemy."

"I will remember, Your Grace," said Sansa, though she had always heard that love was a surer route to the people's loyalty than fear. If I am ever a queen, I'll make them love me.

- ACOK, Sansa VI

Cersei isn’t the only POV character who views herself outside of conventional Westerosi standards and aspires to something beyond being a wife and mother. Arya Stark has ambition writ clear on the page, though it is not so cold or denying other people their rights or chances. Compared to Cersei, Arya doesn’t want everything, crown and throne and kingdom and all. She just wants something, and even that is denied to highborn women in Westeros. Even when she asks her father about her future, a man who wants to do right by his children and loves them, Eddard Stark is blinded by Westerosi patriarchy:

Arya cocked her head to one side. "Can I be a king's councillor and build castles and become the High Septon?"

"You," Ned said, kissing her lightly on the brow, "will marry a king and rule his castle, and your sons will be knights and princes and lords and, yes, perhaps even a High Septon."

- AGOT, Eddard V

With Arya in this, I see some parallels to Elaena Targaryen, who was so good at math and management she served as the secret Master of Coin while her husband carried the title. Elaena was “more willful than Rhaena, but not as beautiful as either of her sisters,” yet is also said to have been “more beautiful at age seventy than at age seventeen,” growing into herself like Arya is expected to. They both even cut their hair, Arya to hide her gender and Elaena to hide her beauty, both instances to gain freedom from captivity in the Red Keep.

Despite both these examples of ambition - Cersei’s all-encompassing, without care for how it affects the realm, and Arya’s attempt to find a place in the world outside the Westerosi model - it still becomes an insult when people speak of Daenerys and Sansa.

Critics claim Sansa is ambitious, and negatively so, because she “wants to be queen.” But this criticism misses a vital point of Sansa’s character. Unlike Cersei, she does not want to be queen because of the power and political influence, but because she will be living a song. In the start, Sansa’s got her head in the clouds, not to the dirty world of politics. Her very first chapter lays out this motivation incredibly clearly:

All she wanted was for things to be nice and pretty, the way they were in the songs.

When she thinks of Joffrey and being in love with him, it’s because he’s “handsome and gallant as any prince in the songs” (AGOT, Sansa II), 

Alternatively, it has been said that Sansa is ambitious because of her claim to Winterfell. But compare how Sansa thinks of her claim to how Big Walder Frey does. Despite being far down the inheritance line, he is certain he will someday possess the Twins. He’s likely willing to kill his family to become Lord of the Crossing, and already has killed Little Walder.

In comparison, Sansa isn’t the one who realizes her claim as heir to Winterfell, even after her two younger brothers are believed dead. It’s Dontos who mentions it, and after she still thinks that Robb will have sons to inherit.

But she had not forgotten his words, either. The heir to Winterfell, she would think as she lay abed at night. It's your claim they mean to wed. Sansa had grown up with three brothers. She never thought to have a claim, but with Bran and Rickon dead . . . It doesn't matter, there's still Robb, he's a man grown now, and soon he'll wed and have a son. Anyway, Willas Tyrell will have Highgarden, what would he want with Winterfell?

- ASOS, Sansa II

Sansa’s not ready to kill Bran and Rickon if they show up. Her arc is about taking off the rose-tinted glasses and seeing reality, but also working to make reality like a song. For example, her idea of the Tournament of the Winged Knights for Sweetrobin. It’s a song come to life, all by her making. TBD how the ending goes, of course, but it shows that trajectory.

And finally, Daenerys.

Daenerys is not driven by some lifelong desire to win and dominate. She’s forced into it, a la Brienne’s “no chance and no choice.” If Daenerys were raised in a stable environment, I have a feeling she’d be much more like Sansa: dreamy, hopeful, sweet and studious. Happy.

But instead, her eyes are open.

When she’s introduced as a character, she shows an awareness for the schemes and politics of the world. She knows her brother is called the Beggar King in the Free Cities, and is doubtful of the smallfolk’s secret toasts to Viserys III that Illyrio Mopatis claims happen across Westeros.

Like Sansa and Cersei, there’s evidence of her goals, hopes, and wishes in the very first chapter:

"I don't want to be his queen," she heard herself say in a small, thin voice. "Please, please, Viserys, I don't want to, I want to go home."

. . .

Dany had only meant their rooms in Illyrio's estate, no true home surely, though all they had, but her brother did not want to hear that. There was no home there for him. Even the big house with the red door had not been home for him.

Daenerys remembers home as the house with the red door in Braavos. It’s her brother whose only home and stability was the Red Keep, not her.

Throughout her journey of power to take back the Seven Kingdoms, she is doubtful at every turn and most of her wishes are for happiness, for peace, for stability.

Dany had no wish to reduce King's Landing to a blackened ruin full of unquiet ghosts. She had supped enough on tears. I want to make my kingdom beautiful, to fill it with fat men and pretty maids and laughing children. I want my people to smile when they see me ride by, the way Viserys said they smiled for my father.

- ACOK, Daenerys II

A queen I am, but my throne is made of burned bones, and it rests on quicksand. Without dragons, how could she hope to hold Meereen, much less win back Westeros?

- ADWD, Daenerys II

Even later, Daenerys is determined to bring peace to the lands she currently rules. She does plan to return to the Seven Kingdoms, but it’s not driven by pure ambition. And this is, notably, from a conversation when Prince Quentyn Nymeros Martell asks her to come back and claim them now, saying she has allies for that conquest. And still she turns him down, with promises that it will only happen eventually:

"Daenerys said. ". . . .One day I shall return to Westeros to claim my father's throne, and look to Dorne for help. But on this day the Yunkai'i have my city ringed in steel. I may die before I see my Seven Kingdoms. Hizdahr may die. Westeros may be swallowed by the waves."

- ADWD, Daenerys VII

And yet in both Sansa and Daenerys, these visions and hopes for the futures they might have are considered unbridled ambition, although they turn more on happiness and peace for themselves and their people, rather than the type of ambition Cersei has, which is clearly her own power and being heralded above everyone.

Daenerys’ thoughts in her sixth chapter of ADWD have the same energy as Sansa’s “I will make them love me.”:

"A queen must know the sufferings of her people."

. . .

A queen must listen to her people, Dany reminded herself. 

Daenerys has figured out how to make her people love her, by wearing her “floppy ears” and appealing to the masses, listening to them, et cetera. She’s also a bit ahead of Sansa in the realm of ruling, to be sure.

But how are these similar thoughts ambition in either of them? It’s an attempt to empathize and connect, not to throw away and disregard and rule by force and domination. Both these ladies are more nuanced, and the fandom does them a disservice by painting them as ambitious or power-hungry when at the end for both of them, it’s a desire to have a happy, stable, loving life.

[alreadyblondenow]

I want it and I f*cking got it

Lee Haechan x virgin!reader 

high school setting / crush became boyfriend 

Themes: FLUFF, SMUT

Summary: You are the shining new girl and the Lee Haechan has eyes on you.

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: This some high school shit realness haha, theres a part where he touched her without consent, swearing, detailed (?) smut, smut again, mentions of blowjob, fingering, oral, mentions of other idols, unprotected sex (pulling out), mentions of alcohol

A/N: Inspired by Hairspray’s ‘I can hear the bells’, I made this just for fun so I can take a break from writing fics with heavy plots. If there are misplaced words or typos I’m sorry. Happy reading!

.........................................................................

Lee Haechan, is so handsome.

That’s the first thing that came in your head when you saw him at the hallway for the first time. He was with his friends Mark, Renjun and Jeno laughing and teasing each other while walking to their next class. You on the other hand is watching them from a far while you put your books and other stuff in your locker.

“Forget it, he’s with Lia. The most popular girl in school” Yeri nudge you and told you more facts about Lia and Haechan. Because of your cousin Yeri, you’re now updated about your crush’s love life. In less than a minute you found out that they’ve been dating basically since freshman year, “those two are inseparable” she added.

A mild heat slowly builds up around your body because they will walk pass by you so you decided to turn your back on them. But then someone bumped you hard that you almost hit your head on your locker door. You wanted to shout and curse at the person who bumped you but you became speechless when you finally saw who it was.

“Oh sorry. I didn’t mean to bump you. The hallways can be so crowded, you should be careful”

Lee Haechan smiled and pats your head and went to his third period. Definitely unprepared and you didn’t expect that that will be your first interaction with him. It happened so fast. You can’t believe it but that sure made you smile from ear to ear, even your cousin was surprised. Being the new girl wasn’t so bad after all when you have Lee Haechan as your happy crush.

ROUND 1

The next day, during your English Literature class with Haechan, he tapped your shoulder and gave you a small piece of paper which you accepted when Mr. Kim wasn’t looking.

I’m really sorry about yesterday. Hope you’re okay -Fullsun

You wrote back with caution, thinking about how you’re just being polite and that this is not considered flirting.

No harm done. Thank you for the reminder about the hallways.  

You turned your back and faced him quickly, gave him the paper with a smile then faced front again. Just like that the chance to flirt back with your crush slipped away. Why? Because you didn’t want to play with fire and ruin your good girl reputation in your new school by flirting with your crush who has a girlfriend.  

Day by day, Haechan tries to start a simple conversation with you before class starts. Telling you how you look you look nice, asking you what did you eat for breakfast, updating you about the weather, and basically everything he could ever think of just to get the chance to talk to you.

It gets harder and harder to avoid Haechan so you gave up and gave him the satisfaction of finally having a decent conversation with you. It was in the middle of watching Titanic during class when he started to whisper beside your ear softly that sends tingles to your spine. Everyone was quiet and focused to how handsome Leonardo DiCaprio is while you focus on how Haechan melts your heart whispering how he loves this movie.  

“That movie is the movie of my life”

“I agree that it’s a great movie. Nicely made and deserving for it’s awards but I still don’t know it’s connection with our English Lit” you whispered back to him, trying to be subtle as possible so you wont get caught by Mr. Kim. “I think Mr. Kim is a hopeless romantic, and so are you”

He giggled quietly at what you said to him, trying so hard not to forget how your voice sounds like the whole time you were whispering beside him. The next think you know, you two were keeping the conversation going until he caught you crying and hands you his handkerchief. It was not necessary but you felt him caress your head and pat it softly to give you comfort.

If the Lee Haechan is normally friendly like this, so be it. You decided to befriend him if you can’t flirt with him, you started talking whenever he sees you around school, during lunch breaks, class hours or dismissal. He continued giving you small notes during class that mainly contains questions about Romeo and Juliet, or whenever he notices that Mr. Kim’s tie doesn’t go with his outfit. Even giving you songs to listen to and a Micheal Jackson playlist.  Little did you know he was flirting already.

“Hey, Jeno is having a party this Friday. You should go” your heart thumps the whole time you were putting your books inside your bag while Haechan was talking to you about Jeno’s party. “since you’re new here, I can introduce you around” he added and gave you an awkward smile.

“Not sure” you shook your head.

“Give me your phone” you didn’t have a choice but you handed it to him. You watch him save his number and name himself ‘Fullsun ☀️’. “Here, text me if you’ll go. I got you, I promise”

After that conversation with Haechan, you told Yeri the whole story which she finds hard to believe. You even showed her Haechan’s contact to make her believe you and she screeched like a bird when she finally did. “Not bad cousin! You should totally go, meet the popular kids you know” she winked at you, “who knows maybe you’ll be friends with Jeno and you can introduce him to me”

“Psh. Yeah, and show Lia that I’m interested with his sexy hot boyfriend? No thanks”

“Ooh by the way, update about the couple…” Yeri stopped walking, “they’re not together anymore. Shocker right? Story says, Lia told Haechan he’s not good enough for her”

“What the actual fu- How perfect does she think she is?”

How can someone say that to someone perfect like Haechan. What Yeri just told you made you swim with never ending thoughts about Haechan. Like, how is he holding on? Is he okay? Because he looked totally fine during the days he was talking to you. Should you really go to the party for him? “Thanks for the update Yeri, I’ll think about it. See you in school!”

When you’re finally home and relaxed, you thought maybe you could give the party a shot. It’s not that you hate parties, it’s just that you don’t know enough people to have fun in a party. But still, even though you’re convinced to go you always find a reason to stop yourself.

While you’re busy contemplating if you’re going to the party, Haechan is busy thinking about you and waiting for your text. Hoping that you will come save him from the sea of people judging him because of his ex Lia. “You do realise that once that girl step foot in this house and people start seeing you together, that will totally bring chaos in her life” Mark came out of nowhere with a cup of beer for Haechan.

“It’s my first time liking someone, I’m not going to let the chance slip away to try and win her”

“What do you mean first time? How about Lia?”

“Oh come on dude, you know I never liked Lia, it’s just a stupid favor I did for my family. I tried to like her. But really, I can’t” he scoffed and took a sip, “y/n gave me reasons everyday to like her”

Mark tried to warn his best friend but he figured he was too late. Haechan is already head over heels and no one can stop him from making a move to you. “Yeah, you’re right. This is the first time I see you smile because of a girl” Mark chugged his beer and left Haechan to get a refill.

To be completely honest, Haechan is scared to drag you with the drama that comes with him the moment he finally confess to you. He thought about ways on how to avoid all that and what Mark said when suddenly his phone dings.

You: Sorry it took me awhile. Send me the address?

This time, it’s Haechan who’s smiling from ear to ear because of you and nervous because you’re finally coming.

ROUND 2

You put on a simple white shirt, black pants, your favorite shoes and your favorite biker jacket. Hoping that Haechan will like your simplicity and that the party will appreciate people who underdress. Now that you know the truth between him and Lia, you’re not holding yourself back. If Haechan flirts with you tonight, you will definitely flirt back.

“You look iconic, come on I’ll get you a drink” he welcomed you with a hug outside Jeno’s house which you think is nice, he didn’t let you step inside a stranger’s house alone. The house looks great and you’re sure that without the neon lights scattered everywhere the house will definitely look like a home. Besides the generous amount of neon lights, the house is loud and full of jumping teenagers who are all strangers to you.

To your surprise, Haechan grabbed hold to your hand so you wont get lost in the crowd. You follow his lead which brought you to the mini bar beside the pool full of horny teenagers who are probably having pool sex at this very second.

“No hard drinks for the lady please” he said to his friend Renjun who mixes the drinks. He saw you and Haechan still holding each other’s hands and he quickly gave Haechan a teasing look that made him let go of you. “Before my dumb friend gets you into trouble, let me introduce myself” he offered his hand for you to shake which you gladly accepted, “Hi, I’m Renjun. I made every mixed drink you see in this party”

Haechan rolled his eyes and mouthed ‘show off’ towards his friend. “Impressive, and you’re not getting tired?- Oh y/n by the way” you shake his hand firmly and the next thing you know Haechan is getting the drinks and dragging you away from his friend to meet the other two, which you already knew who they are. Mark is the smart one and Jeno is the captain of the Taekwondo team.

The night went on beautifully and fun while you two flirt with each other the whole time in front of everyone to see without giving even one fuck about what they say behind your back. Even though you’re already a little buzzed because of the alcohol, you didn’t miss how Haechan placed his hand while he helps you win the beer pong game against Jeno and Mark, which again isn’t necessary because you know how to play beer pong.

“Okay, I think you’ve had enough fun for tonight. I’m taking you home” Haechan said while helping you put your jacket. He walked you home under the quiet and dark neighbourhood, laughing quietly while he tells you the most funniest jokes. Neither one of you don’t want to finish this night but it’s getting late, “thank you for inviting me to Jeno’s party” you said, stopping in front of your house. Crossing your arms and telling yourself that if this guy kiss you tonight, you’re going to scare him and make fun of him.

“Yeah, I definitely can tell you had fun” he slowly went closer to you and kissed your lips. Letting him fall to your trap. You pushed him away with enough force that tells him to stop, “s-sorry. I thought, were on the same page” Haechan panics and apologised immediately.

“Am I some kind of rebound? Or you’re just flirting because you want your ex to get jealous and win her back?” what you said was part true, you do want to know his intentions.

He breathes heavily before he explains with shaking voice, “The relationship I had with Lia is something I did for my mom, because my mom and Lia’s mom are friends and they want us to end up with each other. And I clearly don’t like that idea. I tried liking Lia but I couldn’t force myself when what I feel tells me exactly the truth and the answers to my questions”

He moved away to you while he’s pouring his heart out by explaining and telling you the truth. Hearing it made you feel guilty but at the same time you’re praising yourself for being a genius because you got Haechan to tell you the truth effortlessly.

“Quite frankly I don’t want this to end. If I fuck this up so what, I don’t care. I’ll fix it. I’m going to start over again, even if it means I have to bump on you accidentally on the hallway. Again. Just- fuck, I didn’t mean to move so fast, I’m so sorry” Haechan can hear his own heart beat, nervous that you’re just standing in front of him with crossed arms and not saying anything after everything he told you.  

Soon, you can’t hold it in even longer. You burst into laughter and giggled loudly. Bringing Haechan closer to you and cupping his handsome face, admiring how cute he is with panic eyes. “It’s a joke. I’m sorry I made you nervous, handsome” you put your arms around Haechan’s neck and watch him get playfully annoyed to you. He shook his head on disbelief because you’re the only person who can match with his wit.

“Kiss me again?” you asked oh so sweetly, raking his soft hair.

He nods his head and kissed you again, softer than before and even meaningful than the first. You felt him smile in between kissing when you finally kissed him back. Savouring the feeling of your lips on his and the warmth of your embrace. And when the kiss is over, he puts his thumb on your lips, swiping the spit on those pretty lips. “Is this finally good night?” he asked, still looking at your lips.

“Sad to say, yes. Unless you find a way to climb up quietly to my room?”

He let out a soft giggle, “No. I don’t want to move so fast. Talk to you when I get home?”

“Yes please” before you two part ways, he gave you one last peck on the lips and finally let you go.

When Haechan got home, you were tucked in bed and waiting for your phone to ring and answer his call. And when he finally did, you two can’t see it but you’re both smiling widely while talking to each other and just hearing each other’s voices makes your heart flutter. It didn’t bother you two if the sun is shinning brightly already, Haechan waited for you to get tired and eventually fall asleep. Before he ends the call, he whispered a soft good night through the phone and went to bed with a smile.

ROUND 3

Come Monday, you were just telling Yeri about your weekend with Haechan and his friends and talking like how you two normally do around school when Lia blocked your way out on the girl’s restroom. “So you’re the new girl? If it wasn’t for you, Hyuck and I would still be together. You just had to ruin everything we’ve built for our relationship when you decided to go to this school”  

“Not my fault you didn’t locked him up before I transfer schools. But it is my fault that you’re single now” you flashed a teasing smile at her before you head out and made sure to bump her shoulder on purpose. That would teach her a lesson and she will definitely know you’re not just anybody.

Truth be told you don’t want any fight because of someone who doesn’t understand the core meaning of the word ‘breakup.’ It’s clear that she’s just mad that you’re seeing Haechan now and that he’s more than happy with the relationship. But you can’t let someone treat you bad just because you got who you want, fair and square.

After school, you and Haechan went to his house to do some studying for English Literature. You love how it’s so quiet around their neighbourhood and the golden ray of light hits Haechan’s skin perfectly. From now on, golden hours with Haechan will be your thing.

You two sat on their hammock swing chair at their backyard, enjoying the golden hour by talking and giggling like little kids on a swing. “Who made this swing? I feel like I’m a baby” you said, feeling so comfortable beside Haechan.

“You are a baby. My baby” he raised his eyebrows once and winked at you. As your heart flutter because of what he said, you rolled your eyes at him and gave him a peck on the lips. Just a peck, because you knew all too well he will ask for more.

“What? That’s it? Just a peck?” he whines on disappointment.

“Yes. That’s all, come on. Homework time” breaking away from his embrace, you force yourself to stand up and convince Haechan to start studying. He brought you to your room so you two could focus on studying and to have some privacy after doing the homework.

“Guess who blocked my way at the girl’s restroom earlier” you sat on Haechan’s lap and put your arms around his neck.

“I know. Jeno told me he found Lia crying with Yeji and Ryunjin” he starts kissing your neck then realised he shouldn’t. “Listen, that girl is drama and I know you can take care of her but I just want to have a peaceful relationship with you. Please, just ignore her. These people will bring you down, and the more you notice them the more they will ruin you”

And it’s true what Haechan said, for the following weeks Lia’s group of friends has been hating you with all their might. Typical high school bullies who won’t stop at nothing but when Haechan took care of it, you felt so proud and safe. The look on Lia’s face when Haechan stood up for you in front of everyone definitely gave you the satisfaction and happiness. From there on, no one dares to meddle with your relationship with Haechan.

Things has been great between you and Haechan, you met his sister and his parents which are all adorable. Although his mom is still in favor with Lia, but nonetheless she respects Haechan’s decision.

After graduation, you spend too much time on Haechan’s place and sometimes things can go out of control. In the middle of making out with Haechan, your eyes widened when he suddenly slips his hand under your shirt and pull down the left cup of your bra. It felt uncomfortable and violating so you pushed him away from you.

“Nah, I’m not falling for that” you can’t believe what you’re hearing from your boyfriend and it’s making you crazy how suffocating it felt the whole time he was groping your boobs and pinching your nipples. Haechan thought you pushing him away was a prank like the one you did when he kissed you for the first time.

But he heard you sobbing and it made him stop. “Shit- shit! I’m sorry” he covered you with his thick duvet and gave you space. He went downstairs to get you a glass of water and slightly hated himself for what he just did to you.

Before he came back, you convinced yourself that he didn’t mean it and that your boyfriend is not a bad person. You made yourself presentable again and wiped your tears not wanting your boyfriend to see you scared around him. The moment he knocks on the door your heart jumped and you got nervous again, feeling your tears fall but you don’t know why.

He gave you a glass of water and you accepted it with shaking hands. Haechan sat on the edge of his bed, turning his back on you because he knew what he just did. He violated you and he didn’t even stop when you told him to, you don’t know but deep inside he’s punishing himself for being like that.

The two of you stayed away from each other for a good twenty minutes. Then you crawled towards him slowly and hugged him from behind, he’s more than happy that you don’t hate him and that you’re not going to breakup with him. “This will never happen again, I promise. I will never rush you ever again”

And it’s a promise he kept.

ROUND 4

When Haechan promised you that he will take it slow and not rush you with anything, he kept his word.

But now that you two are heading to college and spending the whole summer together as much as you can, you two can’t get enough of each other. There are times when you two will just lay down the swing, enjoy the quietness of the afternoon and watch the sun go down. Hands intertwined and legs tangled.

Some days are extra fun when you two help his sister bake anything she wants from cookies to cupcakes and Haechan will end up making a mess at the kitchen. Then by night you three will enjoy what you guys made while watching scary movies on Netflix.

And even though you’re still a virgin and so inexperienced compared to Haechan, you two find a way to feed your sex life without going all the way. You finally let him touch you without pushing him away or feeling violated, little by little you learned how to let go.

You remember when Haechan finger fucked you for the first time, you were so nervous because anyone can step in the living room and see that Haechan is on top of you. “Keep it down, my sister is on the other room” his kisses on your neck are not like any other, now it’s wet and his hands are all over your body. Kneading your clothed boobs, squeezing it a little harsh because he’s too horny. You can’t say you don’t like what he’s doing because you love it. Every part of it.

You love how his hands cups your boobs while he’s busy kissing your neck and you make quiet moans that Haechan loves so much. There were no talking the whole time, just pure kissing and quiet everything. You don’t have to ask him to do something because he knew perfectly well what you want. The couch is a bit uncomfortable for two people grinding on each other and kissing hungrily but no one seems to care.

“We won’t go all the way, I promise” he said but his hands are creeping under your skirt and on its way to remove your panties. “But we will go pretty far tonight, is that okay?” you nod your head nervously. To be honest he’s nervous too. Scared even. Scared that maybe you won’t approve of what he’s going to do and push him away again. You on the other hand really have no idea why he needs to remove your panties if he promised not to have sex with you tonight.

Heat surrounds your body when you saw Haechan put your panties on their coffee table. The living room is dark but once you opened your knees and lift your skirt, he will see your pussy for the first time. You breathe deeply when you felt his cold hands on top of your knee, ready to spread your legs open. “Shit- baby, stop” he stopped and gave you his jacket to cover your exposed legs. “Just give me a minute. I’m really shy right now, I don’t know why. Fuck, I’m sorry Hyuck”

“It’s okay, do you want to go to the bathroom to wear your panties?”

“No no, I don’t want to stop. Just getting shy that’s all. This will pass” it’s true you don’t want him to stop because you’re too horny now. “Kiss me?” he smiled and gave your request. You put away his jacket and pulled him close to you. Now you’re leaning comfortably on the armrest of their couch while Haechan kiss you softly. “I think I’m ready now” you told him in between kisses, but instead of making his move he just smiled at you and continue kissing you.

“I’ll tell you when you’re ready”

You don’t know what does that mean. You just enjoyed how he kisses you so filthy for the first time while his hands are resting on your closed legs. His tongue moves perfectly around your neck, leaving marks on the exposed skin of your cleavage and whispering dirty words that makes your legs spread unconsciously and put him right in between you.

“See, now you’re ready. You’re pretty wild yourself baby, spreading your legs for me huh” he teased you in between kisses that made you smile. Who would’ve thought spreading your legs for Haechan would feel really great.

In middle of feeling Haechan’s tongue dance around your neck and your hands are busy keeping him closer to your body, you feel his right hand made it’s way in between your legs and made contact with your wet folds. Without hesitation, you rolled your head back and closed your eyes as you enjoy his middle finger glide up and down your slit and spread your pussy juices.

Of course he knows what he’s doing, he watched you to melt with his touch underneath him while he play with your pussy. And again, unconsciously, you grind your hips on his finger completely letting go of your innocence. This will definitely not the first and last time Haechan will do this to you.

As your mind floats on how good Haechan makes you feel good, he flicks his finger a little faster, pinching your clit to make you moan, and finally putting his finger inside you. It made you open your eyes and look him in the eye. “that’s like a sneak peek on what it feels like to be fucked. Not even close but for the mean time, I’ll make cum using my fingers”

Your lips touched as he pumps his finger inside you, adding digits without any warning so you can have the full experience. Being quiet became a challenge when you’re finally on edge and Haechan’s fingers were still inside you while he’s whispering dirty things beside your ear. He needed to cover your mouth to muffle your moans when you finally came, closing your legs, crushing his arm in between them to ease the sensitivity of your clenching pussy.

“I fucking love you Lee Haechan”

ROUND 5

After slowly introducing you to more sexual activities you two are now bold and confident about touching each other. After a lot of trial and errors, you’re now an expert of sucking your boyfriend’s dick whenever you two are alone at their living room. You now happily open your legs for him to eat your pussy in your room and you let him finger you during Netflix and chill with his sister.

And now, after you suck him off and make him moan for the first time, you finally told him that you want to have sex with him and that you’re ready to go all the way. With no questions asked, Haechan helped you remove your clothes quickly and you did the same with him. Ending up fully naked in Haechan’s bed is making you shy like the first time he touched you and this is not good.

“Baby, calm the fuck down... stop moving” he giggle at you while lining his dick to your dripping entrance. The head of his dick is finally inside when you hiss again closing your legs and moving away from him. Telling him that it fucking hurts, even though it wasn’t even in yet.

“It wont hurt, I got you! You’re fucking dripping for crying out loud. Sliding in wont be a problem. Come on” he taps and caress both your thighs as he waits for you to open your legs again for him. Slowly he touches your soft skin, admiring how you stayed a virgin for him, your skin is glowing because of the golden sunlight from the window beside his bed.

Opening your legs again, Haechan kneels in between you and hooks both of his arms under your legs so you won’t get to close them again. “Line my cock so I can push in” you followed him like a good girl as he leans closer to your face for a kiss. His cock just perfectly lined to your cunt while you both kiss and enjoy each other’s sweet lips. Sweating and really nervous, he felt your chest move up and down against his and noticed that you’re getting scared every second that passes.

“Baby, it’s me, Haechan. Your boyfriend. Why are you being like this? Hmm? I thought you wanted this?” his tone was telling you to trust him because he’s your boyfriend. Telling you oh so sweetly to calm down or else he will stop and put your clothes back on. Still not moving from his position, Haechan didn’t want you to be scared before pushing his cock inside you so he continued talking to you.

“S-sorry. Just stuff running in my head. S-scared but I- yeah, I want this. Fuck, baby I want this to happen so bad. Can you just force it? Don’t wait for me to calm down?” You beg your boyfriend but he shook his head no.

“Where’s the love in that if I force this in you? I’ll kiss you while I go in, hows that?” the offer wasn’t bad, you nod agreeing to him and his lips touch yours the moment you nod.

Waiting for the perfect time to push in, Haechan can be really patient when it comes to you. When he felt you let go, he slowly pushed in and you swear you stopped breathing for a moment. Taking a second to finally believe that Haechan is fucking you now. Speechless the whole time as you feel him go inside you, you stare at his eyes shining because of the afternoon light.

Your hand flew to his face, gripping his chin and jaw as you feel slightly betrayed. “You said it wouldn’t hurt?” a small tear run down your eye as you feel the stretch of your cunt stinging so bad you can’t stop whimpering.

“Sshh. Of course it will hurt baby. Can you feel this?” Haechan was half moaning and grunting while talking to you, moving his cock in and out slowly to prove his point not pulling out entirely. You nod your head, moaning deliciously. Feeling how he’s so good, lips parted as you wait for him to be balls deep inside you, letting go a low “ooh” once he’s fully inside.

You reach in for his lips again devouring it while you clench and unclench all you want. “You won’t cum if we just keep on kissing. Stop luring me you minx” he kissed your left boob, biting and sucking it as he rolls his hips a little giving you a peak of what’s about to happen. Haechan pull away when he felt you stiffen again, hips roll slowly as you get familiar with the stretch.

“Sensitive baby, I cant-“

“Of course you can you’re my girl”

Without a warning he gave you piercing thrust, enough to make your boobs bounce. Licking the valley between your breast before you could curse him out. Reaching for your hands as he brings them both on top of your head together with the pillows, fucking you with a steady and fast pace.

“I love you. You know that right?” A breathy and weak “yes” escaped from your mouth. Toes curling already as you feel that knot on your lower abdomen.

After a few fast thrust and some delicious slow ones that you specifically loved, you reached your much awaited high and Haechan pulled his dick out and pumps it in front of you. Ruining his perfect blue sheets. Making you horny and crave for your boyfriend again, you reach in for another condom,  “Again, Haechan please let’s make round two a little longer”

He let out a small laugh as he lays beside you, fingertips scraping on your golden skin. “So now you’re begging me to fuck you again huh, okay. Round 2 in five minutes, I need to catch my breath” he said and left a kiss on your shoulders.

.........................................................................

Masterlist

First of all thank you for reading! This is inspired by Link and Tracy’s love story in Hairspray. I just rewatched it earlier and damn I forgot how I used to love every song in that movie. Hope you guys can watch it :) Also listen to I can hear the bells hihi.

[mackeydoodledoo]

I Only Swim Free: Chapter 2

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x (Fem!)Reader

Summary: You’ve done swimming all your life. You’ve gotten to your dream college on a scholarship for your outstanding freestyle technique back in high school. Relationships never crossed your mind however, that was before you met your swim team captain: Bela Dimitrescu.

Warning: Alcohol/Drinking, Introverted-ness (At Parties), jealousy/slight-heartbreak

A/N: Rather than having this be a one chapter story, I decided to make this thing a whole series!

-------------------------------------------------------------

“This Photo assignment is due next class, make sure there is no slacking off,” Your Photo professor announces, “Now, that will be all for today, I can’t wait to see what you students will come up with.”

As you finish up your last class of the day, you grab a quick bite to eat before you headed off to the sports facility for practice.

The Assignment: You are to create a collage of photos taken on your DSLR camera. However, they need to be edited in some way. The theme and the way of editing is entirely up to students. 

You go down the list of options in your head as you get yourself changed into your new swimsuit. You feel a slight tap on your shoulder, making you lose your train of thought.

“Hey y/n,” Bela smiles, “I just want to apologize for not letting you finish yesterday. My boyfriend he’s- the worst at timing. What was it that you wanted to ask me yesterday?”

A date... I want to ask you on a date Bela...

“Oh don’t worry about it,” You lie, “It was nothing important anyway.”

“Okay,” She says, “Hey do you have any plans tomorrow night?” 

“No, don’t think so... Why?” You ask

“My boyfriend’s fraternity house is throwing some huge party and I was wondering if you would like to show up... With me,” Bela explains

“Wouldn’t that be a question for your boyfriend?” You ask out of pure curiosity

“He’s apart if the fraternity silly,” Bela giggles, “I don’t want to be showing up alone. so, how about it?”

She’s going to be the one leaving you alone for her boyfriend... Won’t she?

“Okay,” You answer unconsciously

“Great,” she smiles, “I’ll pick you up around six tomorrow.”

You watch her walk up to the coach and you follow the rest of the girls to begin practice. 

After practice that evening, you only rinsed out your hair in hopes to avoid Bela. However, once you had just gotten out of the shower, you realized you unconsciously did your “post-swim shower routine”. So you didn’t rush out of there.

“You okay y/n?” Bela asks

She was wearing her undergarments that time so you were slightly thankful.

“Yeah-yeah,” You sigh

“Are you sure?” She asks

“Yeah, practice is different from high school,” You say, changing the subject, hoping Bela wouldn’t notice how you felt about yesterday

“Oh- I just remembered,” Bela says, reaching into her bag

You look over and notice that your hoodie is in her hands. You had too many already... 

“Keep it,” You say, “You make it look good better than me anyway.”

“Even if my name isn’t on here?” She asks

“Definitely,” You smile, holding the locker room door open for her, “Besides, doing indoor percussion for almost nine years now gets you to own too many hoodies.”

“Nine years?!” Bela asks

You nod, “Fun fact, after high school swim season for the girls’ team, I’d turn to music and participate in indoor percussion.”

“Do you still do it? Indoor Percussion?” Bela asks

“Yeah,” You say, “I currently have a contract with a top tier world class percussion ensemble for this coming season.”

“That’s awesome y/n,” Bela smiles, “I’ve never been to one of those kinds of shows.”

“Well, I juts might bring you along,” You suggest, “It’s fun to watch.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” She smiles

Her boyfriend yet again pulls up to the both of you. You watch her drive off with him as your heart sinks again. 

Why are you feeling this way when you clearly know she has a boyfriend? Grow up kid...

You walk to your car once more and decide to treat yourself out for something to eat.

Once you got back to your studio apartment, you felt your phone vibrate. When you open it up you see a text message from an unsaved number.

Hey, it’s Bela. This is y/n’s number right?

Hey, yeah. That’s my number.

Despite knowing she has a boyfriend, you enjoy talking to her. Like friends. Right?

The next day you focused on school work however, putting off the photo assignment as you haven’t gotten a clue on what to do. However, you see your phone’s screen light up again and see a message from Bela.

Hey, just a reminder, just dress like you’re going to the club.

Okay, got it.

You stand up from your couch, declaring that was enough homework for the rest of the night, you go through your closet and spot an outfit; red crop tank top/lace bralette combo, ripped skinny jeans, dr. martens and a leather jacket to top it all off. 

Perfect. Wait until Bela sees you.

When you finally put on your leather jacket, you decided to put on some dark red lipstick to give more ‘oomf’ to your look. When you had finished applying it, you hear your phone ring. You look over and see Bela’s icon on the screen. You unlock your phone and hold it up to your ear.

“Hey I’m here,” Bela says from the other end of your phone

“Great, I’ll be down in a second,” You say, hanging up the phone

You exit the bathroom and grab your apartment keys and exit your apartment; locking your door. You almost rush down the stairs when you see Bela’s cark park out front. You weren’t sure how Bela reacted to you when you stepped out of the apartment door however, when you got into the passenger seat, Bela was looking at you.

“Take a damn picture if you’re going to stare,” You flirt

She takes out her phone and snaps a photo. You didn’t think she’d actually do it. But, you weren’t complaining though.

“You-oh wow,” Bela say, breathlessly, “Since-since when do you dress like that?”

“Whenever I decide to look like a hot lesbian,” You say, sitting back into the passenger seat

The both of you didn’t really say much after then as Bela was focused on driving. When the both of you arrived, You get out first, just to open the door for her.

“A lesbian and a gentleman,” Bela flirts

You follow close behind her as you enter the fraternity house Bela talked about the evening before. You didn’t expect it to be packed. By the time you had fully processed a college party, Bela was no longer in front of you. Instead, in the arms of her boyfriend. 

“You look like you could use a drink,” One of the fraternity boys tries to flirt with you

“No thanks,” You brush him off immediately

You begin walking away, hoping to find a spot in the party to just think. 

What did we tell you kid? Now you’re alone... At a college party. You should have just lied kid...

By the time you decided to step outside it was packed too. You turned your heel and began to walk right back into the house. You had decided to avoid the party entirely now that Bela had left you for her boyfriend, yet she showed up with you, took a photo of you and flirts with you, you found a closet. 

You shut the door and take a seat. Luckily you brought your own kind of music to listen to when you want to feel isolated. You weren’t sure how long you sat with your knees up to your face. But you sure as hell wanted to stand up because you could no longer feel your arse. Feeling slightly confident, you decided to go back downstairs where the main party was happening, hoping you could have some time with Bela. You didn’t see any of your swim teammates, so she was the only one you felt that you could talk to. 

Fuck....

You were only halfway down the stairs when you spotted Bela’s hair in the bright light. Lips locked with her boyfriends’.

Aaaaaand we are going back up the stairs.

You had never went back up a set of stairs so fast in your life. However, you didn’t want Bela to see you looking heartbroken. You were easily seeable from the part of the stairs you were standing on. You rushed back into the same closet. Once you leaned against the wall, you realize it wasn’t a wall. It was a ladder. You took the opportunity to limb onto the roof. You were sure it wasn’t allowed but it would be better to be banned rather than watching your now crush making out with her boyfriend. You open the hatch and inhale the fresh, crisp scent of the evening air. Once you found a suitable spot along the rooftop, you scroll through your phone. 

Ahhh, This is the song to listen to when all you want to do is fall apart.... Or stargaze, or both.

“All the Stars” - Kendrick Lamar/SZA

A Classic. 

Although you had a whole playlist just for moments such as this one, All the Stars gave you a mixed vibe when all you want to do is to fall apart and stargaze. You turn up your music, shutting out the rest of the world. You didn’t care, you had your thoughts, your music and the whole night sky to yourself.

Bela’s POV She didn’t realize how much time went by until she looked out the window.

Oh shit it’s getting late. I have to find y/n...

“Hey babe, I’m going to look for y/n,” She says

“I’m sure the kid’s fine,” He says, drunk, “Stay baby. Please. Your boyfriend needs your attention.”

“Your boys can take care of you for now,” She says, standing up

Before she could depart from him, he forcefully grabs her wrist. In a panicked state, she draws her hand back.

“Not. Here.” Bela growls, turning her heel and leaving her boyfriend by his lonesome

She walks into the kitchen, seeing some party-goers playing beer pong.

“Have you guys seen a girl wearing a red crop top, leather jacket?” She asks

They all shake their head ‘no’. Bela rushes into the gaming area. The same response from them as well. Panicking, she checks nearly every area there was in that house. However, when she reached the top of the stairs, she barely heard anyone there. So, she checks each room to see if you were in any of them. To her dismay, no luck. 

“Where did you go y/n?” she sighs, “I shouldn’t have left you alone...”

Genuinely feeling guilty, Bela picks up her phone and speed dials your number.

Y/n’s POV You groan in annoyance when your music suddenly stopped playing. However, when you looked at your phone, you freaked. Bela’s name and icon showed up. Not knowing what to do, you panic and let it go to voicemail. Hoping she would give up, you just go back into your vibe.

“Isn’t she persistent,” You talk to yourself, seeing her name and icon once more

You, again let it go to voicemail.

Bela’s POV Bela was pacing along the second floor, trying to get you to pick up but each time leading to voicemail. She was beginning to get to the point that she thought you had left. However, when she looks over to an open door, a faint light shining down. She walks into the closet and noticed the ladder leading up to the roof. She decides to check the roof as the last place to see if you were there. As soon as she poked her head through the open hatch she gasps as she sees you lying down.

Y/n’s POV You were too focused on the stars in the sky however was now blurred. As your eyes adjusted to the new darkness, you could hear Bela.

“There you are y/n I was looking for you,” She says, “You will not believe what- hey, are you okay?”

Still having your music on loud blast, you turn your head towards the horizon line; where the land meets the sky. You didn’t want her to see you like this, you had nothing to be jealous of... But here you are; jealous of Bela’s own boyfriend.

“Hey, y/n look at me,” Bela says calmly

You began feeling like melted butter as soon as Bela’s fingers gently caressed your jawline and cheek. You let her turn your head to look at her.

“What’s wrong?” She asks

You don’t say anything but you only take out one of your earbuds and hand it to her. You couldn’t find the words to tell her how you were feeling. A new song had popped on.

“Too Afraid” - MARINA

She puts in the earbud just as the song begins. One of her hands wraps around your neck while the other lingers on your cheek. You gently put your forehead against Bela’s as the both of you listen to the song together. Your hands hold onto Bela’s forearms as it hit the chorus line. 

The both of you were up on the roof listening to your music for god knows how long. The both of you were lying down at that point; Your leather jacket wrapped around her, her resting against your shoulder, stargazing with you, still listening to your music together. 

She’s the first one to actually listen to music with you... 

“Hey, Bela,” You finally say, breaking the silence

She perches herself on her elbow, looking down at you, “Yeah?”

“Won’t your boyfriend be suspicious?” You ask, “I’d hate to see something happen to you if he-”

She places her finger against your mouth.

“Forget about him right now,” She says, “What matters more is that I need to make it up to you for leaving you alone.”

“Bela- you don’t need to do that,” You say sitting up to meet her face

“No, I want to,” She says, “That reminds me, have you eaten at all?”

You both hear your stomach gurgling from the lack of nutrient consumption.

“Guess that answers your question,” You chuckle

“I know a great 24/7 diner, wanna go?” She asks

“I’d like that Bela,” You smile

You finally had the courage to walk back into the fraternity house. Bela’s boyfriend was nowhere in sight. However, Bela doesn’t seem phased at the fact as she drags your arse out of the party and back to her car. 

When the two of you arrive there, you sit in a booth near the window.

“Now would you want to tell me why you were basically gone almost all of the party?” Bela asks

“I don’t know,” You lie, but it was also the truth, “I’m not very much a party person... Especially with a bunch of strangers.”

“Then why didn’t you say so? We could have done something else,” Bela says

“I didn’t want you to have to leave your mans just to make time with me,” You sigh, sipping on your milkshake, “Besides, you looked like you are the life of the party. I.. I also can’t say no to you.”

You didn’t realize how upset you sounded when you told her how you ‘didn’t want to interrupt her time with her boyfriend just to make time for you’ bit.

“What’s your ideal ‘party’?” She asks out of the blue

“Oh? well, just having three to four friends over, we just drink, eat junk food, play super smash brothers, watch a movie watch youtubers or all three. Not in that particular order though,” You ramble on, “That’s pretty much it. Nothing special.”

“When was the last time you’ve had one of those?” She asks

“Too long,” You answer, “Why?” Are you going to do something like that one of these days?”

“Something like that yeah,” She says

After the two of you had diner food she drops you off back at your apartment.

“Thanks Bela,” You say, opening the car door

Before you could step out of the car, you could feel her hand coil around your wrist and you felt her other hand turn your face towards hers and your lips meet each other halfway. She pulls away for you to process the fact, however, you lean forward even further and your lips meet hers once more. 

“Goodnight Bela,” You whisper when you pull your lips away

“Goodnight y/n,” She replies

You finally step out of her car. You don’t fully process what happened until you got into your apartment. 

You just fucking kissed Bela Dimitrescu...

Chapter 3

[youranxiousnerd]

Showtime Thoughts

bc i am in love with julia lester

spoilers below

First off, why is this episode so short?

ngl i forgot mazzara was a regular

ricky ded besties

awww nina and the letters 

she looks very good in her dress

ashlyn and ricky look so good

“We’re screwed!”

ash and ricky are too funny like where were they this season?

chaotic and pretty best friends

sidenote, why did they go see north high’s production? 

oh my god ricky and nina are talking

SEBLOS IN THE BACKGROUND

i am taking what i can get

RICKYS FACE WITH THE CARD!!!!!!!!

my favorite part of the episode

his makeup looks very good

he looks very good

as @organic-guacamole said, he is very pretty

its been like three minutes and it already is so chaotic

yessss kourtney’s mom!!!

so howie and kourt are fine? gah since when?

“look for the shortest fork” mood

I CANNOT TAKE EJ SERIOUSLY HE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGRY BIRD

big bird ej comin at you

oh

PORTWELL DATE

wait isnt this ejs last show? is he going to miss his last afterparty for a date?

true love bitches

GINA MY LOVE

“Is he with us?”

NORTH HIGH SET OUR BEST BOI ANTOINE ON FIRE APS GET READY

seb being a supportive boyfriend is everything i needed

jenny is frazzled

i love how all the techie turned actors are nervous at some point during the episode

REDLYN CONTENT

awww thats so cute love the callback!!!

ooo howie is here

love how the writers leave a cliffhanger and then close the book before it turns to tragedy with one line

mazzara and ej, thats it

jenn what

why is mike there?

that was so unnecessary like aren’t mike and jenn over?

LILY

“did we forget to build a moat around the school” 

let ricky be single challenge

she just said “lol” i cant

props to ricky for keeping calm during the show after he saw mike and jenn

ah so lily is a child of divorce?

“lily scram”

RICKY AFTER THE CURTAIN OPENS WHY IS THIS FUNNY

STOP MAZZARA IS THE VOICE OVER

HE SOUNDS REALLY GOOD

how did ricky do that so fast-

put on gloves over the cast, makeup, and a mask?

i dont work with costumes 

AMERICA EXPLAIN

The one scene we get from the show...

Yay Steph!!!!

“Big Red has not thrown up in twenty minutes” ashlyn’s little smile

“she heard wrong”

someone please explain how spotlighting the judge is a good idea it makes it seem like things went wrong

“Carlos is a seasoned professional” honey carlos is on the verge of a mental breakdown

“He says help

Communication

Seb translating for Carlos is beautiful dramatic, yes, but im right. 

im so proud of them. they go from not talking for a week to seb being able to tell how carlos is feeling based off a stoic expression.

SOULMATE SHIT

IM SORRY NO BOP TO THE TOP CALLBACK

LIKE NONE

WHO WANTS TO RIOT WITH ME?!?!

wait so carlos goes from on the verge of a mental breakdown to full on performing and speaking?!?!?!? Speaking well too, not stumbling.

he looks so comfortable on stage when not even ten minutes ago he looked like he was going to vomit?

h e l p

ashlyn’s little laugh!

NINI IS A FORK IM LAUGHING THIS IS GREAT

big red lookin’ at his girl

ricky what are you doing?

ASHLYN AND GINA

I QUIT THEY’RE ADORABLE

GET IT KOURTNEY

howie’s little mouth drop

i cant with sebs costume i should not be laughing how is he able to do a kick line

ASHLYN MY LOVE

be our guest was enjoyable. it had a lot of moving parts. frankie and dara sounded really good. it’ll probably grow on me the more i listen to it.

is it just me or did be our guest lack some energy?

NATIALIE IS SO AGGRESSIVE

awww gina bb

portwell!!

“my mom sent me jordan fisher”

big red and ricky!!!

...what is big red doing? has he been faking sick?

“PLEASE EVERYONE REMAIN IN THE SAME ROLE YOU STARTED IN” 

BEST LINE OF THE SEASON OMFG 

alright what the hell is up with howie?!?

kourtney is so excited and then downer howie comes to ruin it

nina just write “thanks for being the best bro and glad youre not dead”

btw kourtney and gina look really good in their costumes

ASHLYN!!!!

SHES SO PRETTY THANK YOU

redlyn!!

gina and jamie!!! 

he looks so proud

glad gina gets to see her family!

cute scene, jordan is a nice addition!

RICKY AND THE BOWL

julia lester is killing it with the vocals

big red is so in love

seb bouncing in the costume 

“she’s never looked at me that way before” evil smirk

PORTWELL GLANCES

my heart fricking stopped when carlos went on stage 

being early on your cue/missing is awful would highly not recommend

a bop to the top callback after this would have been perfect

those harmonies!!

THEYRE SO IN LOVE

ummm phone call?

CHIPS BIG SCENE

...why wasn’t seb cogsworth? 

alright that was really good. everyone (even the backup) sounded really good. portwell rights! ashlyn rights! kowie rights! acting rights! 

so mazzara and jamie?

Ashlyn is the perfect Belle fight me

“Eat it Zackey Roy!” how about “yay kiddos, nice job!”

ej’s little dance

“bc you’re ginas brother” 

he is enamored by her it is adorable

EJ CASWELL RIGHTS

“hey, jordan fisher, would you like to f up one of three stableish ships in hsmtmts?” “sure, im in!”

ej!!!

aww hopefully he doesnt take the conversation too heart. they both like each other so much.

Portwell is so enjoyable to watch.

return of the bro

ej go get your girl dont worry about her brother please

SOMEONE TOUCHED THE PROPS

all hands on deck

“Can you just jump off something high”

I seem to remember Ricky falling from something high last episode, is that correct? 

She tells this to one of her most UNSTABLE kids

Oh shit

Miss. Jenn

Wtf

like what the actually hell

look at the kids faces they’re heartbroken

Miss. Jenn why. You’re stressed about the show, but you’re not performing it. They are. They have to worry about lines and cues and pitches, not you. Miss. Jenn has literally gone at the kids this season. Opening night speech too Ash and Ricky, shutting Seb down, that comment. She has become obsessed with the Menkies and North High. It has gotten really bad. These kids have put everything into this show, even their relationships (both platonic and romantic) and that is how you repay them? 

I didn’t think they would address this, I lost hope after last week but I am so glad they’re going too.

Someone send Seb after Miss. Jenn please, let him rip into her, he would do very well.

Miss. Jenn is supposed to be the role model and she just told a kid to jump off something high.

nina has been a godsend this episode, props to her!

haven’t been the biggest nini fan this season (off and on for me), but she was very behaved this episode. 

if there is anything the east high kids are good at, it’s bullshitting their way out.

“aim for my face” character growth

I KNEW IT

LILY WHY HOW WHEN WHY 

WTF THEY END THERE I CANNOT WITH CLIFF HANGERS

I liked the episode. Didn’t love it, but liked it. I really wish we got to see more acting, like we didn’t even see Big Red and E.J go on stage. Not even the iconic yellow dress. Some of the drama is so unnecessary, like why Mike and Jenn? What is with the Kourtney and Howie drama the writers insist on having, can’t they just be happy?

Besides the whole harness incident (burn that harness and mask it is causing so many problems) the production went very well, too well. This is East High we’re talking about.

Promo thoughts because what

oo they’re sneaking, maybe Big Red’s thingy

YES ASHLYN GETTING THE LOVE SHE DESERVES

oo Kowie confession?

portwell please be okay

what is up with carlos’ hair?

so seb, miss. jenn, and carlos scene? this has the potential to be very beautiful.

“It’s not over” not this again... 

i’m thinking carlos and seb are going to talk to miss jenn.

Sidenote, if we do not get a good seblos scene I will riot.

Hopefully Miss. Jenn apologizes with a billion sorrys

rini you just broke up please dont get back together 

im scared

if it is a scene where they close the book i will be very happy

Are we getting a flash forward scene? I’m pretty sure Miss. Jenn said Menkies aren’t till two plus weeks after the show.

We know based off the promo pics Ej and Gina are at the cast party, what went wrong?

Wait do we not get to see the finale of the show?

We better see the goddamn transformation

how does lily home and core four song fit in? im more curious about the lily one.

In conclusion, I am not ready for this to be over and the transformation needs to be sent to hell.

[jeontaehui]

TAEHEE WITH 127

taeil jeonil 

taeil kind of took it as his responsibility to take care of taehee (apart from taeyong) when she was introduced to the group.

he was always looking out for her — checking if she was uncomfortable, if she needed anything, was she hungry, etc.

so taehee saw him as one of her older brothers/dad-figures she could turn to whilst growing up.

taehee roomed with the older members for a bit after debut, so taeil was really attentive to her and picked up a few habits of her own.

he knew when she was feeling off or down, and it was easy for him to make her at least smile a little since no matter what he did ,,, taehee found it cute & funny.

whenever taeil did aegyo, you’d hear taehee shout, “oppa, you are so cute!” “he’s so funny!” or “i like this, he’s really cute”

taehee seems to always be present whenever taeil records bc she just Loves listening to his voice !!!!!!

she once admitted that she wanted to have taeil as a dongsaeng bc he was just Too Cute & Funny .

iconic moment (weekly idol ep. 452) “who do you feel sorry for these days?,” taeil thinks considerately before revealing that he couldn’t think of anyone from the group that would fit this question at the moment, so the hosts prompted him to think from the past instead. “why won’t you sit on that member’s lap, taeil-ssi?”

“it would be .... kinda weird if i sit on their lap though.”

“why? is it me?,” taehee chuckles, but was pleasantly surprised when the eldest member actually moved to stand in front of her. out of affection for taeil, taehee happily sits him on her lap, mark laughing at how much taehee was enjoying this.

“why?,” taehee asks, her voice hinted with a bit of aegyo, “is it bad?”

“no, it’s not bad if you think about it,” taeil hums, “the reason was that ...”

“i hoped for her to be comfortable,” he pats the younger one’s head before standing up to walk back to his seat, “given our situation...? at first..? yes.”

this causes laughter to erupt from the other boys, some of them letting out confused sentences at what he was supposed to mean by that. “ahh i think i know what he meant,” taehee realizes after laughing.

“thank you for being attentive and considerate, oppa. i love you,” she tells taeil, giving him a heart from her seat.

song take on me by a-ha

johnny johnhee

THEIR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE . IS SO CUTE !!!!!

johnny pretends not to see her as one of his ways to tease her.

another would be judging her hardcore bc of her pick-up lines

he and mark tease her for her accent but enjoy imitating it.

taehee: no

johnmark: NORRR???

johnny would show off that he knew some aussie slang bc he knew taehee likes those kinds of stuff.

(american school 101 ep. 2) “in australia, they call barbecue ‘barbie’ for short,” johnny says as he glances at taehee, a playful smirk on her face when he said ‘barbie’ with an accent.

johnny is literally one of taehee’s stylists.

(buzzfeed who’s who) “i go up to him and i’m holding two different tops on each hand and i’m like ‘should i get this or this?’,” taehee tells the production crew. “get both!!!,” they all say, soon followed by chuckles from the group. “we go shopping together sometimes, yeah.”

johnny having long blonde hair tempted taehee to go blonde too and !!!! he posted a video on his story of taehee doing different kinds of doable braids on his hair post-performance.

iconic moment (n’-154) “hello everyone,” taehee smiles, chewing on a snack bar her manager gave her. “for today’s guest, we have,” moving the camera towards the right, she reveals the blonde sitting beside her, “johnny! johnny-ssi, please say ‘hi’ to our viewers.”

johnny greets the camera with a slight bow, some of his locks falling from behind his ear. “so what’s the point in your outfit for today?”

“the point?,” he repeats, and without missing another blink he says, “my hair.” taehee giggles at his confidence, but johnny’s face doesn’t waver. “why?,” johnny asks while acting as if he was offended, “why are you laughing?”

“nothing,” taehee beams at him, her eyes crinkling into a smile as her dimples made an appearance. “but seriously, you look really pretty.”

“i do?,” johnny smiles at the compliment. “of course i do,” taehee lets a laugh escape out of her at johnny’s tone. “of course i do,” she imitates. “would you say that you’re prettier than me?” johnny then squints his eyes at her and the girl’s smile falters slightly, “don’t say anything weird!” 

taehee delivers a weak punch to johnny’s shoulder, but the latter made it seem like it was harder than expected with the way his jaw dropped, bringing a hand to rub the spot where she had hit him. “i was just going to say i wanted see you dye your hair blonde!”

“then you should’ve come with me when i had it turn blue,” she playfully rolls her eyes at him, leaning onto his shoulder to get more comfortable. “i meant that the fans want to see it too,” he looks down at her, only to chuckle at the lack of a response. taehee opens her mouth to form coherent words but none came out.

johnny smirks triumphantly, “coward.” taehee groans as laughter vibrates from johnny. 

song circles by post malone

taeyong yonghee

taeyong is literally taehee’s dad figure — reminds her to sleep, to eat, to drink; he’s even the one who tells her to rest.

he would pat her head or her shoulder as his sign of ‘good job’ or ‘you did great’.

he and doyoung would always be the one to calm taehee down whenever she had episodes, which she is very grateful for.

taehee would sometimes appear by the end of his lives, and it never fails to surprise taeyong since she’s like ,,, 5 floors away ???

it’s just that taeyong is her comfort space and spending time with him in his room is like an escape route for her. 

she sometimes falls asleep on his bed too bc of this and taeyong just takes care of her whenever that happens.

these babies are afraid to sleep alone so it makes it all the more cuter.

speaking of babies, while taeyong would openly admit that he’s scared, taehee wouldn’t back down until she’d end up calling taeyong’s name when she felt like her heart dropped.

(nct life ep. 13) “TAEYONG OPPA!!!!!! SH-”

and whenever taehee accidentally ends up cursing on cam even in the tiniest whisper, you’d know since taeyong would look at her like ( O . o ) ?

iconic moment (200925 vlive) “i know what parents feel like when their child isn’t taking care of themselves,” taeyong nibbles on his bottom lip as he fiddles with the end of his sweater. it has always been taeyong’s concern that taehee wasn’t taking care of herself, something taehee had expressed her guilt about. but she can’t help that she was so into her work that she’d forget to drink at least a sip from her jug.

“she’d stay up in the studio and i’d come by, bring her bread,” he sighs, “but she’s gonna say, ‘i’ll just eat later’, stuff like that.”

“she needs to take care of herself, right?,” the leader pouts. “help me remind her, please. you guys should also take care of yourselves too, don’t want any of you getting sick.”

from then on, comments of taehee’s solo lives will be filled with stuff like “have you eaten yet?” , “unnie, please drink your water!!!” , “czennie will be sad if you don’t take care of yourself :(“

this moved taehee to promise to take care of herself starting now as to not make nctzens and the members worry. “okay guys, i promise to eat my meals and drink water.... so don’t worry anymore, okay? sorry for making you and taeyong oppa worry, i’ll do my best as long as you guys do too.”

song train wreck by james arthur

yuta yuhee

taehee sometimes uses the japanese phrases she’s learned from watching anime to yuta and he Completely adores her for that.

yuta’s like her protective older brother it’s half funny and half cute when you see it.

“can i play uno with you guys?” “no.” “and why not?” “it says it’s for kids 8 years and up.” “but i’m 19-“ “it says 8 years and up!!!!!!!!”

they usually goof around like that a lot.

yuta headlocks taehee or ruffles her hair when they get too excited over a game.

we don’t see it a lot on cam but taehee goes to yuta when she has girl problems and such.

“hyung my stomach hurts sooo badddd.” “do you want me to get a hot compress? i read that drinking water lessens the pain, i’m gonna go get some for you.”

it’s so rare to see people gushing over yutae’s sibling-like relationship but when they do, it would make your heart melt.

it’s bc yuta looks at taehee with so much care and consideration, he’d be ready to pounce on anything or anyone that would hurt her.

once an emcee doubted if taehee could do a challenge, slightly implying that it was bc she was girl (which was so wrong of them !!!!). yuta literally looked them dead in the eye and said, “no, she can do it. it’s taehee. watch her.”

iconic moment (boatta ep. 12) “is unnie dating any of the members?,” the younger girl asks taehee, catching her and the three boys off guard. taehee chuckles, half nervous and half amused, “w-what?”

“you must’ve been with them a long time,” the little girl continues, “did you like any of them along the way?”

“ahh no,” hearing this, haechan pretends to be hurt and sulk at the side, the kid laughs at him. “they’re like brothers to me, you know? and when you’re super focused on things, some people tend not to think about that stuff anymore.”

the younger girl nods understandingly at this, though yuta decides to speaks up. “i’m not gonna let taehee date until she’s 35,” he then points menacingly at the camera while the others laugh. “to those of you watching, i’m not letting taehee date until she’s older.”

despite his threat, taehee whispers to the girl, “i’m jealous of you,” leading the younger one to retell the story of how she broke up with her cheating boyfriend.

song someone to you by banners

doyoung dohee

doyoung loves taehee to death but thinks she can be a little shit too at times.

when taehee goes overboard with the bedroom eyes or with the flirty jokes, doyoung goes, “HEY!!!! do you want me to call your mom?!?!”

doyoung is the only member who has met both of taehee’s parents personally!!!! lowkey takes pride in this.

(180602 vlive) “my mom’s really grateful for you, you know?,” taehee tells doyoung. “really?” “yeah, she just told me a few nights ago.”

doyoung was so touched :(

it’s because taehee wasn’t able to go home to australia during the holidays so it was doyoung and his family who accompanied her. he’s almost like her second mom.

“you.... i don’t want you getting sick, okay? you have to remember to take care of yourself because i’m not always there for you, got it?,” doyoung made taehee tear up a bit here.

iconic moment (superm elle korea covershoot behind) “when was the last time you cried?,” taehee reads as she fiddled the toy sword. “the last time i cried was...” trailing off, she turns to her side to see baekhyun already looking at her with an unreadable expression. “it’s okay if you don’t explain,” he says, before giving her a comforting smile. taehee gives him one in return, grateful for his concern, but continues nonetheless.

“um, the last time i cried was when i talked to doyoung oppa... a few weeks ago?,” taehee nods at the camera. “i felt really homesick at that time, and (doyoung) oppa was there to comfort me,” a sad smile paints onto her face and the other three members gave her looks of sympathy. “even if he seems like a nagging mom to me most of the time, i know it’s really from the heart and he just wants to take care of me.”

“doyoung hyung might not see this so,” she brings both of her hands to the front and formed them into a heart, “i love you.”

song someone to stay by vancouver sleep clinic

jaehyun jaehee

sexy voice/adlib duo but also dimple line

jaehyun teaches her basketball and praises her when she’s done a good job.

(jaehyun 9-10 pm | 24hr relay cam) “okayyy, then shoot! good job, taehee. you learn fast.”

they also work-out and !!!! learn boxing together. jaehyun may or may not have taught taehee a thing or two on bowling .....

taehee uses jaehyun’s turntable from time to time to play her lp’s.

(nct night night 181012) taehee said, “jaehyun oppa’s voice is the type to listen to when you want to relax or fall asleep ,,, great for asmr,” then she raised her hands to give to thumbs up to the camera. 

if you watch like those award show fancams of nct and you see jaehyun whispering something to taehee, she’d burst out laughing.

and when taehee finds something so funny she’d think about it the whole time !!! so we’d see her giggling even long after jaehyun told her a joke. which makes jaehyun smile at her too

it was never revealed to the public but they’ve dated for at most 5 months around regular era ,, they never became serious/exclusive about their relationship but they stopped dating when they realized they were just meant to be just friends.

but after that they became really close and they practically know almost everything about each other ^ ^ taehee even has the tendency to call jaehyun without honorifics or talk to him casually on cam.

iconic moment (osen star road) deciding to go with the goblin scene, some of the older members of 127 snicker at jaehyun and taehee. “wah this is already interesting,” johnny teases, causing mark to elbow him on the side as he laughed. “lights, camera, action!”

“how could you kick me where it hurts like this?,” jaehyun reads from the script, putting his hand on his chest for dramatics. haechan and the others were clearly trying hard to stop themselves from laughing, but taehee continues reading her lines; a faint smile plays on her lips as she too was about to burst out laughing. “ah cute,” mark mumbles. when it got to the climax of their act, haechan starts hitting taeil’s thigh in anticipation, “it’s this part, it’s this part!”

“i’m saying it for your sake!”

“if it’s for me, then just get me a boyfriend! part-time job, aunt’s house, boyfriend! what kind of guardian are you? my wish for a boyfriend didn’t come true!,” taehee looks up from the script and makes eye contact with jaehyun, thinking it was a good idea to take this challenge seriously at this point. she almost caught herself slipping though as she had to bite her lip to prevent the laugh that was about to escape.

jaehyun takes a step closer, his height towering over taehee’s. he no longer reads from the script too, “here he is, your boyfriend!”

“WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS HE?”

“RIGHT HERE! IN FRONT OF YOU! ME!”

silence fills the studio as the pair continue to stay in character, the other members that were seated already burst out laughing moments ago. a flustered taehee breaks off first, pressing the back of her hand against her cheek, “woah... i think my heart is speeding up. really.”

song sunsetz by cigarettes after sex

winwin winhee

the cutest duo !!!!!

while winwin was having trouble with his korean at first, taehee was the one who got his back (even if she was still learning too). taehee won’t admit it to winwin but she learned a bit of chinese so they could understand each other better. 

while everyone coddles winwin, taehee watches from the sidelines and is like, “yeah, i love him too.” and trust me, she Loves him. she just didn’t want to get into the mess of multiple members fighting over him lol

they’re the type to make derp faces at each other when they meet eyes from across the room.

(idol room ep. 23) while they were choosing members to compete for the place of being mark’s soulmate, taeyong suddenly suggests taehee. “taehee, why do you think that you’re mark’s soulmate?,” the host asks her. “oh i’m not his soulmate,” she quickly shoots the idea down with a wave of her hand, mark’s mouth dropping in shock as the other members laugh at them. quite surprised with her remark, the hosts ask her again, “why not?” taehee shrugs, “i like winwin.” 

if winwin becomes impressed at what taehee said or did, he’d say something like, “taehee, come here. oppa will buy you food later.”

taehee missed winwin dearly. she’d unconsciously let out the biggest smile whenever she finds winwin acting cute and he’d call her out for it, but that just leads to more cooing from the girl. “you’re just sooo cute~”

iconic moment (uncut take #1 | 2020 yearparty behind) “i missed winwin oppa so much,” taehee pouts slightly, and a small smile grows on winwin’s face at her statement. “me too,” he says, bringing a hand to his chest to show how sincere he was being. it was clear how surprised taehee was when winwin reciprocated the feeling by how her eyes brightened up. “really?,” taehee asks softly. winwin nods, “before you were like... this tall.” he points to the side of his face that aligned with the tip of his nose, causing taehee to snicker at the slight exaggeration. “but now you’re taller,” winwin sighs as he looked her up and down, before pulling the giggling girl closer by the shoulder. “what was that sigh?,” she laughs. 

taehee imitates winwin cutely and the latter’s cheekbones raises into a fond smile. “but you grew, really. i still remember when you practiced with pigtails.”

“that is not true!”

ignoring her protests, winwin faces the camera and begins to recall the days taehee would practice looking like a five year old. “taehee likes practicing with her hair up, but since it was too short at that time, she had to tie them in pigtails. she was really cute.”

taehee groans against winwin’s shoulder in embarrassment, making the older boy laugh as he pats he head gently. “that’s what i see every time i look at you, a preschooler in the practice room.”

song left to right by marteen

jungwoo woohee

taehee is the biggest snoopyzen ever !!!!!!!

it’s a joke (or is it?) among the 127 members that taehee’s had a crush on jungwoo ever since he joined in 2018, even jungwoo teased her about it too.

(180210 vlive) “hyung, what do you want for your birthday?,” in response to taehee’s question, jungwoo asks for a kiss by pointing to his cheek. “i’m really serious,” taehee laughs in disbelief, flustered since they were in front of the camera. “stop being so weird~”

taehee would give the best reactions when they react to their music videos only because jungwoo is on the screen. 

most of the time jungwoo makes a joke, fans would notice how he would immediately glance at taehee to see her reaction. 

jungwoo refers to taehee as a ‘living temptation’ because she’d message him to eat chicken with her even when it’s already late or when they’re busy.

(weekly idol ep. 462) “jeon taehee, really-,” jungwoo cuts himself off with a frustrated sigh. “even if you tell me you’d get the chicken yourself, we’re still not allowed to,” the whole studio laughs at his candidness, “so stop tempting me!”

there was this day that taehee only said jungwoo’s name on bubble without context. the messages were like “kim jungwoo.” “jungwoo.....” “jungwooo???” “jungwoo-ah...?” “jungwoo kim,,,,” then she suddenly goes, “i saw the (vogue) photoshoot.”

iconic moment (uncut take #7 | ‘resonance pt. 2′ arrival ver. jacket behind) “hey eodideun gal su isseo. hamkke itneun sigani malhae jwo,” taehee sings, copying how jungwoo dances when he centers for that part. jungwoo proceeds to do the same thing but instead of doing her line, he did sungchan’s instead. “gireul sseulgo danin street, ijen geunyang classic- ah wait, hold on.”

jungwoo chuckles in embarassment as taehee looks at him in faux offense, tongue prodding against her cheek. “hey,” she threats him, but it was hard for taehee not to smile at jungwoo’s shy one. “i’m really sorry,” jungwoo laughs as taehee shakes her head and boops his forehead. 

“do you want to get chicken later?”

“obviously.”

song my type by saint motel

mark markhee

best friends, two peas in a pod, bonnie & clyde, you name it !!!!! they’re almost always together.

even if they were to pick randomly, they always end up on the same team.

taehee: pretends to not like being on the same team with mark

mark: come on, you’re lying

everyone knows they’ve been with each other from the start. they arrived to the company on the same day, were both foreigners so they had to confide in each other, helped each other out in learning korean, etc. so they were really close !!!!

so Hot on stage ........... bless them

the way markheezens lost their minds over the first bridge of ‘superhuman’ ...... markhee went wild during concerts i’m telling you !!!!!!

2020 is a blessed year for the markheezens since taehee really became open towards her affection for mark.

if you’re looking for markhee content ,, their studio lives where they jam to lots of songs would be the cutest !!!!

mark reminds her of home that’s why she’s so attached :(

iconic moment by the end of the year 2020, taehee released a cover of ‘back to december’ by taylor swift as a christmas gift to the fans. the set was simple, beams of light in different shades of purple shone into a room that gave the viewers post-break up vibes; while taehee stood in the middle of it all like a vocal goddess (sm keeps forgetting she auditioned as a vocalist too) as she played an acoustic guitar wearing an oversized shirt. that shirt was worn by the one and only mark lee, who played as her ‘ex-boyfriend’ during the intro of the song. though his face was not shown, fans were able to figure out it was her best friend that played the role before she even got to reveal it during her birthday live later on. the short intro showcased, what you can say are, happy moments of the couple — taking polaroids, sharing a huge box of pizza, and laughing at some sitcom as mark’s arm was wrapped around taehee’s shoulder to pull her close. 

taehee shared in her birthday live that the pair had fun filming. she recalled how mark volunteered to make a cameo once she told him about their plans, saying how she was surprised at how quickly he chipped in. “i was like ‘oh, are you sure? you didn’t seem to put much thought to it.’ then he told me it was okay ‘cause it won’t feel like work anyways.”

a soft smile grows onto the female’s lips, “mark lee... what do i do with you?”

song until the last falling star by matthew perryman jones

haechan hyuckhee

(190402 vlive) “the way they fought back then,” mark shakes his head, “they were crazy.”

but now haechan literally looks at taehee with stars in his eyes.

he once got hit by doyoung in a live saying that he’d marry taehee in the future.

(191015 vlive) “i’m gonna marry noona in the future... i have it all planned out.” “OPPA HE’S SAYING WEIRD THINGS AGAIN!!!!!”

taehee secretly finds it endearing though :(

she LOVES patting haechan’s head ,,, or running her fingers through his hair even if she knows she has a 70% chance of getting scolded by the stylists.

the boys posted a video of taehee on twitter shedding a few tears when haechan gave her a lhasa apso puppy for her birthday.

“she’s so cute,” taehee sniffs, “are you guys filming this? do you guys just want to see me cry- is this a joke? please tell me she’s mine.”

haechan received an unexpected kiss on the cheek from a very emotional taehee that night. he holds it special to his heart up to this day (*´꒳`*)

when each of them laugh too hard, their legs give out and they lean on one another.

taehee tries so hard not to laugh at his jokes to tease him, but it never works.

(191228 vlive) “lee donghyuck, i love you,” taehee said. haechan didn’t know it was a comment though and turned to taehee, filled with affection, “i love you too, noona.” “that was a comment.”

iconic moment (nct world ep. 2) taehee tightly grips haechan’s hand in hers as they both prepare for their arm wrestling match. “ah he’s gonna lose,” doyoung says from his seat, causing jisung and chenle to chuckle beside him.

“noona,” haechan whines, gaining the attention of his opponent. he knew he already lost to taehee the moment they both came up to the front, but he wasn’t going to back down so easily, “i love you~”

taehee shakes her head at his poor attempt at wooing her over, prompting the younger one to speak up some more. “noona!!!! i love you!!!! just give this one to me, please,” he drags the last syllable cutely, and for a moment taehee considers losing to him just for the fun of it.

“let’s just get this over with,” she brushes him off coolly, making haechan huff. he quickly changes his expression into a determined glare and gives taehee a short squeeze before the referee sets the ‘go’ signal. taehee decides to hold out longer, just so haechan could have more screen time, before handing her rival his defeat.

taehee smiles at haechan when he purses his lips at his loss, moving to the other side of the box as the younger boy let out fake cries. “i’m sorry,” she giggles as she pats his head, “you know i hate losing.”

haechan understands they were both competetive in nature, i mean, they were rivals since the start. “i know,” he blows a kiss to her nonetheless.

song true love by p!nk ft. lily allen

[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Terrible Dancers

Prompt: You are spending the holidays at the burrow with George, Fred, Ginny and the golden trio. The house is packed most of the time, which is fine seeing you love everyone there *cough* especially Fred *cough* but when you get a chance of having some guaranteed alone time, you take it to your advantage. Only realizing you weren't totally alone when Fred comes downstairs to see you dancing around the living room in your pajamas, leading to a dance battle, laughing, and a confession.

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, cute things, that's it I thing?

A/N:Is this probably the lamest, most corny, most bazar fic I’ve ever written? Yes, but this idea came to me when I was listening to ABBA in the car and I couldn’t not write it, So there will be 80s muggle music references in this to give you the full ⭐experience ⭐ . Anyway I hope you all enjoy it! Feel free to leave any fic recs. 

A/N2: I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING THIS AND OMG PLEASE PLAY THE SONG I’LL WRITE IN WHEN JUST OMG IM CRYING.

You were currently sat on on of the couches in the burrow, your legs kicked up in front of you as you read a book. It was one of the few times you were able to find some quiet in the burrow. You loved the burrow, you thought of it as your second home, but with Arthur, Molly, Fred, George, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and yourself all staying for the Holidays, you had to admit it was a bit crowded.

However, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had least earlier in the day, saying they were running errands, which was probably code for doing something illegal, but you knew they were fine so you took the opportunity to finally catch up on a book Hermione had recommended to you. 

After about an hour of reading, Molly walked in, greeting you with a smile that lit up the room. You smiled back, marking your place in your book and putting it down beside you.

“Hello dear, the boys and I were going to head off and do some last minute holiday shopping, would you like to join us?” She asked.

“I’ve gotten all my shopping done, so I think I’ll just stay in today if that alright?” You asked.

“Of course! Though you will be here alone, you know where everything is if you need something?” Molly asked, concern in her voice. You nodded.

“Yes, thank you” You smiled.

“Alright, we’ll be back by sundown, try to enjoy the peace and quiet” Molly joked, making you laugh.

“I will, have fun!” You said, watching as Molly left the room headed towards the fireplace, before opening your book again to continue reading.

It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes before you started feeling antsy. The house was quiet. Too quiet. The burrow was known for always being active and full of laughing, happy people, so now that the only sound in the whole house was the steady ticking of the clock, you had to admit, it was a little freaky being the only one here.

You quickly closed your book, and idea popping into your head. You decided to bring your Walkman when you left to go to the burrow just in case you ever needed to block out the noise. You hadn’t used it at all so far, and now seemed like the perfect time.

You ran upstairs into the room you were sharing with Ginny and Hermione, digging through your bag and pulling out the rectangular object. Your parents had made you a mixtape of your favorite songs before you left, and while you loved some popular wizard singers, you missed your music.

You ran back downstairs, putting the Walkman down and pressing play, the music instantly starting up, playing one of your favorite songs.

A Man After Midnight, by ABBA

You walked to the empty area in front of the couch and started to dance, swaying your hips a bit, before starting to sing the words.

“Half past twelve and I’m watching the late show in my flat all alone, how I hate to spend the evening on my own.”

As you were singing you started swaying around the room, grabbing your wand to use as a microphone, and continuing to get more and more energetic as the song went on. 

“Is there a soul out there?”

You stopped moving just tapping your foot, slowly raising the hand that wasn’t holding the wand.

“Someone to hear my prayers........”

“Gimme Gimme Gimme a man after midnight!” You sang at the top of your lungs, jumping around the room and singing into your wand. You were so lost in the moment, you didn’t notice the figure walking down the stairs, until-

“Take me through the darkness through the break of the- JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” Your singing was cut off by the sound of you screaming, well cursing, as you turned around to see Fred staring at you with a confused, half asleep look, a grin spread across his face. “What the fuck are you doing?” You practically yelled, running over to switch off your radio.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Fred laughed, the slight smile he had before now turning into a shit eating grin.

“You know, just.... dancing’” You said, desperately trying to act casual, like your crush of two years didn’t just walk downstairs, shirtless by the way, to see you dancing around like a maniac”

“I can see that. Its awful” Fred joked, making his way down the rest of the stairs and walking over to you.

“Shut up I’m amazing. Wait I thought you and your family were going out shopping” You said, suddenly remembering you were supposed to be alone.

“Yeah, George tried to make me to come along, but I didn’t wake up so my mum left a note” He said, sitting on the couch in front of you.

You nodded in understanding, trying your best to look Fred in the face, instead of letting your eyes wander to his hair which was currently sticking out in all directions. Or toward his chest which was currently bare exposing a constellation of freckles, or at how low his sweatpants were hanging-

“Earth to Y/N” Fred said, waving a hand in front of your face, snapping you out of your thought.

“Oh yeah, nice, cool” You said nodding, rocking back on your heels.

“What were you listening to, it doesn’t sound familiar?” Fred asked, leaning back on the couch.

“Oh, it’s a muggle band called ABBA, they’re basically music goddesses” You joked, walking over to your Walkman picking it up and handing it him.

“That's a lot of praise, considering your horrible taste in wizard music” He said, making you playfully swat his arm, a fake offended expression crossing your face before smiling, pressing the play button and continuing the song.

“Huh, its actually not bad, what else do you have on this?” He asked smiling.

You smiled back, taking back the Walkman and skipping to the next song, which happened to be “Africa” by Toto.

“This one’s really popular, I think you’ll like it” You said, setting down the Walkman and going to sit next to him.

As the music started I could see Fred starting to bob his Head to the beat.

“I like it so far” Fred said

An hour later, and you and Fred were dancing around the living room, singing at the top of your lungs.

“So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye!” Fred yelled

“So you think you can love me and leave me to die!” You sang back

“Ooooooh baby, don’t do this to me baby, just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of here” You both sang in unison, Fred playing an air guitar as you sang into your wand.

As the slow started to slow down, you both just started swaying, smiling at each other and catching your breath. Finally after a moment the song ended, making you both laugh.

“That ones my favorite so far” Fred said laughing, going to take a break and sit on the couch, you plopping next to him.

“Its a classic” You laughed, taking a deep breath, trying to cool down from the very intense dancing. 

The next song started up and you instantly recognized it, practically lunging at the small radio to skip the song, but as soon as you hit the pause button, Fred snatched it out of your hands.

“Hey” You yelled, reaching to get the device back which Fred held over his head, making it hard to reach.

“What’s wrong with the next song?” Fred asked, making your face heat up a bit.

“It’s not really dancing music, my parents probably only added it on because they know it’s one of my favorites, but yeah it’s not that good we can skip it” You said quickly, attempting to get the radio back from Fred, but he still kept it over his head.

“Y/N, if you like it than I’m sure its great” Fred said smiling down at you. You let out a breath. You knew he wasn’t going to let it go until you played it.

“Fine” You said, Fred finally handing the radio back. You rewound the song so it would start from the beginning, before taking a breath, and pressing play.

*PLAY CAN’T HELPING FALLING IN LOVE BY ELVIS*

The music picked up, and with it your heartbeat, afraid of what Fred was going to say. You were internally panicking, playing one of the most iconic love songs ever written in front of your long time friend and crush.

You had been friends with this boy since first year. You might even go as far to call him your best friend. Sure there had been flirty moments but most of it was just kidding around, but this was different.

Before you could panic anymore though, Fred had stood up and turned to face you. A sly smile grew across his face before he held out his hand to you.

“Dance with me” 

“...What?” you asked, eyes widening. Were you hearing this right?

“Dance with me” Fred repeated. So without thinking you took his hand and stood up.

He led you to the middle of the living room, moving to put your right hand on his shoulder, holding your left and resting his other hand on your waist, making your breath hitch in your throat.

“Trying to make a move on me Weasley?” You joked, trying to ease the tension.

“Maybe” He said smiling, but it wasn’t his usual joking smile, it was more sincere.

You started to sway to the music, laughing as Fred twirled you, your hand moving back to its original place on Fred's shoulder.

As the music continued to play, you couldn’t help but listen to the lyrics, while looking up at the boy you were dancing with, finding he was already looking at you.

“Like a river flows, surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be”

Fred suddenly wrapped his arm around your back, moving to dip you backwards, startling a laugh out of you, before he pulled you back up, pulling your chest closer to his, barely leaving any room between you to.

“For I can’t help, falling in love with you”

You moved your hand out of his, instead moving to rest your arms around Fred’s neck, Fred moving his now free hand to your other hip.

“Who taught you how to dance?” You jokingly asked, once again trying to relive the tension that had grown between you too.

“Would you believe me if I said I’m just a natural?” Fred smiled

“Definitely not” You smiled back, making a light chuckle leave his lips.

“Take my hand, take my whole life too, for I can’t help, falling in love with you”

“I think this might be my new favorite song” Fred said, making you roll your eyes but you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face.

“Why’s that” You asked, noticing how Fred’s demeanor seemed to get more serious compared to his usual playful attitude.

“Because it’s your favorite song, and you’re my favorite person” Fred said.

The butterflies that were in fluttering in your stomach before were now in a frenzy, your heart beating like crazy. You continued to sway to the music, slowing as the song finally stopped. Fred moved a hand up to move a strand of hair out of your face, before closing the space between you, connecting your lips.

You pulled him closer as well, kissing him back and moving your hands to his hair while his moved back to your waist. After a moment your finally pulled away, looking into each others eyes.

“You’re my favorite person too” You said, making the both of you smile.

“Is that the end of the tape?” Fred asked, noticing that the music wasn’t continuing.

“Yep, but I have another one one second” You said, moving out of Fred’s grasp to sprint up the stairs, Fred laughing behind you.

You came back downstairs, a new tape in ahnd. You quickly switched out the tack and pressed play, waiting for the music to start.

“Who did you say was your favorite person again?” Fred asked as you walked back over to him, laughing as you wrapped your arms around him. He moved to take a step back and stumbled, tripping over the book you had put down earlier, and because you were already holding him, you fell as well.

“Shit! Are you ok?” You asked, landing on Fred’s chest, looking up at his face to see him laughing, sending you into a fit of laughter as well, before you were both cut off by the sound of the Walkman playing that oh so familiar Saxophone.

You would have appreciated the irony, but before you could you heard the front door open, looking over to see Ron, Hermione, and Harry all looking at you... laying on top of a shirtless Fred..... with careless whisper playing in the background.

“It’s not what it looks like!” you said, quickly sitting up, Fred helping you to stand so you could turn off the music.

“My eyes!” Ron shrieked

“She fell we weren’t!-” Fred started.

“We don’t want to hear it pervs” Harry said, a slightly joking tone in his voice.

“For shame” Hermione said shaking her head disappointedly, but as the two other boys left towards their room, she gave you a quick thumbs up before running off as well.

You listened in silence as the three ran up the stairs, the door slamming behind them. There were a few seconds of silence between you and Fred, neither of you knowing how to process what just happened.

“You know, we could do what it looked like” Fred said slyly.

“Fred!”

------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I’m not going to lie, I think the ending is hilarious. Any who, I hope you enjoyed this super sappy, almost cringe worthy fic. Feel free to leave requests if you want. 

[mrs-munson-quinn]

Harry x reader

We’ll be alright- Part 2

-

Yours and Harry’s relationship has been going through a rough patch so you both decide the best thing to do is to take a break and create a little distance between each other.

-

You woke up with the foreign feeling of harry hands wrapped around your waist. You took this time admire the beauty beside you. Thinking on how lucky you are, thinking how much love you have for him, thinking on how you just might have let him go sooner or later. You continued to admire him, looking at his beautiful sun kissed skin, looking at his kissable lips, while trailing the iconic butterfly tattoo that sits on his chest with your finger.

Every single bad possible scenario that could happen today running through your head.

Harry’s eyes fluttered open giving you a full view of his beautiful forest green eyes that you love. The eyes that held nothing but pureness in them. “Good morning my sunflower ” he says to you with his raspy morning voice that gives you goosebumps. “Good morning my love” you respond back to him. You and harry had given each other nicknames on the 3rd date you guys had. Harry had decided to give you sunflower as your nick name. He said that it was the one that fit you the most because you had the beauty of a sunflower. Plus he knew how much you loved sunflowers.

And the day when the nicknames were given became one that you could never forget, one that you will always cherish.

-

An hour has passed since you both woke up. You guys have already finished eating breakfast.

And now you guys are both on work calls. You’re talking to your agent who is also a very good friend of yours about a new role. A big role that you are not sure if you will take since it will be filmed far away.

While harry is talking to Jeff about the song that needs to get written and recorded for the album. Lately Harry has been having trouble writing. You could say he has writers block. So he’s been very stressed and frustrated because of that.

As both calls end. You could feel the atmosphere change to a very uncomfortable one. With both and you harry now having work out of your minds and now having the troubled relationship replace your work.

“We need to talk, Harry” you say with hesitation not knowing if Harry has the same thoughts about the relationship. “I know” Harry responds with sigh at the end.

“What are we gonna do?” you say with desperation. “We’ll we can just give up y/n” Harry responds to your question “i know we can just give up, for fucks sake the thought about letting you hurts so much “ you say. “You saved me from my miserable sad life. You brought me happiness that i thought i could never have” “but no matter how much letting you go will hurt, i think it will be the best for us” you say with tears on your eyes and you voice full of sadness.

Harry just sat there looking at you sadness while listening to you talking. With the thought of losing running through his head. Thinking how you saved his life just like he saved yours. You were able to fix his broken heart.

“Im not letting you give up on us” harry says with determination and fear in his voice. The fear coming from not wanting to lose you. “Please lets just try to fix it” he say almost begging.

“Ok” you say knowing that harry is right. Knowing that breaking it off will leave both of y’all just as miserable as you were before.

“I think we need to start with space. We need to focus on ourselves first” you say. “ we need to at least take a break, I could go stay with my sister and you can stay here” you say thinking over the plan.

Harry stay silent thinking over the plan as well. Being a little hesitant with the plan.

“No, you stay here. i will go stay with mitch. He has an extra room where i can sleep in.” Harry says.

and just like that the plan was settled.

-

And now is the time to say goodbye. The time where we see how this break takes us.

“ see you soon” harry says.

“ see you soon” you respond with a small smile.

You stand there while harry drives off the driveway. While overthinking, thinking on how maybe this will not work out, on how there is still the possibility that you might lose him.

You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Taking it out of your pocket you see that Harry had sent you a message.

We’ll be alright is what the message read. And just with those few words you felt reassured.

I guess harry is right.

We’ll be alright.

*********

I dont know if i like this part. If you have any request on how to make it better pls comment or message me on how i can make it better. Anyways thanks for reading and as always stay safe❤️

[littlemisslipbalm]

“you get me” (famous!y/n x harry)

Famous!y/n x Harry Styles

First Harry fic so please be kind, but feedback is SUPER appreciated

Initially inspired by the picture of Harry leaving the Gucci store with 15 bags but barely has anything to do with that lol

Definitely thought of Ellen for the interview idk why tho - also I struggle with writing Harry’s dialogue because I really want to get it right, but hopefully the more practice I get, the better/more natural it will sound. ALSO i have like no music or music industry background lol. Somewhat proofread, but its 2:30 am so it could be shit

Fluff!

Warnings: maybe some angst over being famous per say, past loneliness

Word Count: 3.7k literally howwww, i’m going to do a pt. 2 though because it was kind of a long set up and feelingsssss

---

Interviewer: Please, welcome our next guest, a woman who’s sure to have her name written up beside the music greats someday, Ms. Y/N L/N!

You can’t contain the grin that spreads to your face as you carry yourself out onto the stage and see the audience cheering for you. It was your third big interview since your first album had been released and you’d seen your fame skyrocket over night. This being the third one this week meant you’d gotten comfortable getting asked questions, but you also weren’t bored of it yet. It was exhilarating being the center of attention, especially for something that had been your life’s work up until this point. You always had to fight for whatever you got and the recognition you were starting to have was reassurance that you hadn’t been a fool to risk a safe and certain life for your dreams.

The interview begins as the rest had, a few pleasantries, how you were feeling, and then the introduction of the album. The host asked you what your inspiration was for some of the songs and the album name and cover. You loved to talk about the music, it was the whole reason you were there. The meaning, the sound, the name, it all meant so much to you and you talked about how music can be interpreted differently by everyone and even the shifts in someone’s mood can change a song’s meaning, but what it meant to you at the time of writing was always something specific. You practiced those answers in the mirror before the interviews because they were important to you and you didn’t want your words on your art to ever be misconstrued. The host then complimented your style and you were at the point where you thought your interview should be wrapping up when they asked you one more question, and it threw you for a loop.

Interviewer: So Y/N, we’ve been hearing some rumblings around, about you and another famous musician, Mr. Harry Styles. Anything going on there?

Your face heated up, you hadn’t been expecting a personal question about possible relationships. Nothing like this had been asked of you at your previous interviews. It’s about the music, the art, and who you were, it’s always about that and nothing more. To be honest, you were a bit annoyed the host had chosen to stray from those topics. You didn’t care for the celebrity side of being a famous musician, the lack of privacy, the prying eyes of media and the general public. They saw enough of you through your art, you bore your soul through music why did they want to peak into your heart as well?

Y/N: I don’t know if I’d rather be with Harry Styles or actually be Harry Styles. Like, he’s literally such an icon, I want to be able to walk out of a Gucci store after spending hours there with 15 bags full of my purchases and helpers to carry it all out c’mon… He’s also an amazing songwriter, musician, and performer, of course. Didn’t mean to sound superficial, but I’d also love to own even half of his closet.

You hadn’t really answered the question, but the audience laughed and the host obviously got the hint that you weren’t interested in fanning any flames of romance with Harry Styles or anyone else. For one, you didn’t even know the man, but you had always been a loving fan of his. You cited him as one of your role models when you were first starting to try and break into the music world. Second, if you did know him, that wouldn’t be an appropriate topic for your album press junket going on, even if it meant more publicity because of Harry’s big celebrity status. The host decided to qualify their original question with a final sentiment.

Interviewer: I totally feel the same way! I only ask because the outpouring of support you’ve received seems to be from similar groups who also follow Harry. Many have been comparing your sound to his solo career work.

Y/N: Ah...well that’s very kind of people to say. He’s definitely a big inspiration, his creativity and drive is incredible. I’d love to be as successful as him someday.

The interview ended. You and the host shook hands and you waved and sent kisses to the crowd before retreating backstage. You were exhausted, but happy. You hoped to avoid anymore stressful interview questions that didn’t truly revolve around music. Of course, life is never that simple.

-

One month later

You had done countless more interviews and talk shows as promo for your album and the buzz around it had continued to grow. Your fame continued to rise as well and that one question you had dodged at your third interview had come back around to bite you, naturally. Daily Mail’s dumb headline read: “Y/N can’t decide! Date Harry Styles or Steal His Closet?” The Sun was also running with your response and miscontruing it completely, something about how you were madly in love with Harry but jealous of his designer partnerships, you couldn’t even stomach reading the garbage. This was your worst nightmare. Not only was it taking away the focus from your album, but you were also sure this dumb gossip had reached the very set of ears that the gossip was allegedly also about.

You had signed with Columbia Records for your first album, the same record label as Harry Styles, so managers had been in contact with one another about the whole fiasco trying to get the actual truth - which was that the two of you didn’t even know each other and there were no problems whatsoever. Your manager also brought along the good news that Harry had actually listened to your album and loved it, “He said ‘Congratulations’ by the way, loved the sound. Said he’d heard you were very music focused and be open to do some mentoring on songwriting and vocal specifics, if you wanted. It’d have to be in private though, obviously.” She had added the last bit, but you understood why. To have the opportunity to discuss your music with one of your longtime role models, heroes even, was beyond anything you could have imagined coming from your album’s success. And it made the drama all the more palatable because now you at least got to talk to Harry like the media was so adamantly saying you were doing already.

You nodded quickly and agreed, while trying to keep your teenage fangirl excitement hidden below your mature now-famous musician facade. Like you said, Harry was your hero, he’d been your hero since you were in middle school and had Up All Night downloaded on your iPod touch, blasting it as loud as possible, sound hitting your poster-filled walls. You weren’t the same girl as you were then, obviously, you had grown up to be a strong, independent, and confident woman. But, you still smiled at the thought of your younger self with your baby face squealing in the nosebleeds at the Take Me Home Tour (where you swore Harry had looked straight at you) and her seeing you now, dressed in a sleek outfit setting up an appointment to meet with Harry to discuss your first album, a success.

-

The next Thursday evening

You took a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your pursed lips. You were anxious and excited at the exact same time. Your meeting with Harry was tonight, right now actually, and you hadn’t been able to think about much else since your manager had confirmed the meeting last week. She got you the details a couple of days ago, the location: his house in Malibu, the time: 5:45 P.M. You had brought along a copy of your album on vinyl because you thought it sounded best this way, second only to performing it live.

Choosing your outfit for tonight was probably the toughest decision you’d ever made, harder than choosing between an education and following your dreams, harder than choosing your favorite Beatles song. You didn’t want to worry so much, this wasn’t a date you kept reminding yourself, but everything you tried on earlier kept having something wrong with it, too dressy, too boring, too ‘not yourself’. You had settled for these blue high-waisted pants that you’d worn to your first ever podcast interview, a thin black long sleeve, and a brown leather coat that fell below your hips with vans sneakers, casual, simple, yet still true to you and your vibe.

You raised your free arm and formed a fist, hesitant to knock, as if you’d damage Harry’s seemingly perfect Malibu beachfront home by knocking too hard on the wooden front door. You waited a few moments and could here some shuffling behind the door, some incoherent words were seemingly said, but the walls muffled them before they could reach for ears. Soon enough, Harry Styles in the flesh was before you. He beamed down at you, huffing, slightly out of breath as if he had been clear across the house when you knocked. His strong figure towered above your far smaller stature. He was hanging onto the door since he had opened it only slightly. “Hello, Y/N?” he greeted and questioned simultaneously. “Hi,” you responded and extended the same hand that had just rapped against his now open door. He gripped it, ushering you into his home, “Come in, come in, it’s nice to meet you, don’t want you to catch a cold now do we?” He took note of your strong handshake and ring clad fingers.

He walked you into an area between the kitchen and a sitting area. The kitchen was open aside from a bar high top between the two rooms. You sat down at his prompting and made yourself comfortable. “I brought my record on vinyl, sounds best in my opinion, otherwise I’d recommend seeing it live,” you laughed as you handed the vinyl to him and took off your coat. “Technically, y’know, I could hear it live right now, if you were willin’ f’course,” Harry had responded over his shoulder as he placed the vinyl by his idle record player, “Anything to drink?” “Just water for me, please.” His accent was even stronger in person, especially since he had moved back to London and seldomly stayed in California, except for business and quick trips. As far as you knew, he had already been here on business for the week and was able to pencil you in.

You two settled in, with your waters, seated at the bar top beside each other, but swivelling the chairs to face one another more. Again, you were overwhelmed with the reality of the situation, sitting beside Harry Styles as professionals, peers even. He had heard your work and liked it enough to want to discuss it with you. It was a day you never thought would come to pass. He started off not by asking about the music right away, but about how you were doing with the whirlwind that stardom is. “How are you, Y/N? It’s been somewhat of a out of the frying pan into the fire kind of moment for you?” He stared at you intently, caring to hear your answer.

You couldn’t help but chuckle again and contain your smile, “Thank you for asking, Harry. Yeah, its been definitely stressful, but it’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more so the good is still outweighing any bad. Definitely, fucking exhausted though, dunno how many more interviews I can do before my jaw goes completely rigid from talking so much.” It’s Harry’s turn to laugh, his eyes shone with intrigue at what you said and how you said it. You were gorgeous, but it was how your hands helped you through what you were trying to say and the small laughs you tried to keep in while you amused yourself with your words that really made him want to hear you talk all night long.

He agreed about how the promo junket for an album can get tedious and tiresome, but also the absolute fulfillment you get from people loving the music you’ve made. The two of you chatted about surface level personal matters for a little more, but quickly moved to the music. “I took a listen a couple weeks after the album was released. I especially loved the last track. It reminded me so much of a song I never released, actually…” he trailed off.

Your final track had been a ballad, an homage to George Harrison with your use of guitar and sitar, but the lyrics were a story based off of a poem you had written one night in high school. It surrounded a girl never feeling quite good enough for the person she wanted to be with and how it happened everytime, everytime she was ready to giver herself to someone, they were always closed off. Of course it held some truth to your own life and feelings, but you wrote this girl as someone with a seemingly perfect life - when yours was obviously far from any semblance of perfection.

You wondered what Harry’s song would have sounded like, had it been about a seemingly perfect girl or a guy with a seemingly perfect life, always giving himself to the wrong person and getting destroyed by that very fact because he was impatient as the girl in your song had been. “Can I ask, how so? How’d it remind you of your own song, the words or the music?” “Oh, the story, I felt like that for a time in my life and I like to be vulnerable in my songs because it helps me process, but listening to it back has always been too painful. Could never release that or perform it, it’d wreck me.” You nodded, you completely got where he was coming from. You noticed his downcast eyes and his somber tone, you knew not to push it any further.

It was quiet and you decided it’d be okay to take his hand resting between the two of you. “Harry, I understand,” your sincerity spilled into the words, filling the quiet house, “It’s not easy. Feeling that way. Thinking you’re the only goddamn one and why the fuck does it always happen to you? I used to ask my ceiling ‘why me?’ every night of high school” you smiled then. “But you know how it is,” you rubbed your thumb over his large warm hand and he lifted his head, “it gets so much better - c’mon look at us now! It can get hard, too, all this, I’m sure. But our lives? They’re amazing!” He beamed as he had when he had first seen you at his door and when you’d first really spoke. He moved his hand from under your palm to weave your fingers with his, both of your hands with covered in rings and they clinked to fit together, finally resting perfectly fitted. He shook your two hands up and down, “God, you’re so right! That damn song, m’sorry always puts me in a mood,” he shakes his head, “not yours though, f’course, s’lovely, better than my sodding song” he finishes quickly.

After that, the mood lightened right back up. It filled you with such appreciation for Harry that he would trust you so much with such a personal detail since you two had just met. But maybe, he had trusted you because he had felt that same spark between you. It wasn’t necessarily a romantic spark, but it was obvious the two of you were kindred spirits. Besides your album, the two of you talked about everything. You loved the same bands, movies and books, you both loved to cook and had similar fashion taste, you even had the same person type - something you found out late into the night.

At the end of the Side B of your album, Harry switched to a Bill Evans record that had ‘Peace Piece’ on it. You loved that song. So did he. “So...planning to raid my closet?” Harry raised his brows from the record player and walked back to you. You almost sputtered the water in your mouth. Luckily, you got it down. “Pardon?” “All that bad press the two of us have been getting...I watched the interview that kind of ignited the tabloids. You’re obviously not used to those overstepping personal questions.” You nodded. “It’s fine, even if you’d completely shut it down, the tabloids probably would have picked it up still, they snap up anything and everything, true or not.” You softened at his reassurance. You hadn’t expected Harry to bring the interview up, but you were sure he wasn’t happy about it, he was so private, especially about his love life. “Thanks, I’m sorry I tried to laugh it off, kind of made it worse, didn’t I?” “No! Thought it was hilarious and I totally appreciated the sentiment. Little ol’me, an icon? And an amazing artist? All I gotta do is watch that clip and I’ve fed my narcissistic side for the week!” You giggled and replied slyly, “So does that mean I can raid your closet? As compensation, of course.” Harry threw his head back in an all consuming laughter, when he’d composed himself he looked in your eyes again and said, “You just...God, you get me.”

Harry had continued to put records on throughout the night, diligently flipping sides and asking for requests, he of course had an extensive collection. The two of you had moved onto his plush couch that looked out his french doors to the beautiful ocean view. Finally, your exhaustion caught up to you, mid-Harry describing his latest travel fiasco, you glanced up at the clock. You gasped. Harry stopped. “When did it get to be half 12?” you questioned almost incredulously, “I’ve gotta get home, Harry, but this has been truly amazing, more than I could have asked for, so thank you.” Your speech began to rush as you started to get up and gather your things, that had slowly scattered as you’d gotten more comfortable, jacket by the table, shoes around the back of the couch, your phone forgotten somewhere in the couch. You couldn’t believe you’d spent almost seven hours just talking with Harry Styles.

Harry quickly stood up from his relaxed positioned on the couch and asked if you were alright to drive this late. You scoffed, “Oh please, I’ve driven around at 3 am before, I just have to turn up the music and I can cruise.” He smiled, “This was great, Y/N, I know we didn’t really go super in depth into your writing process, but I’d love to write with you sometime or just hang out again f’course. Your seriously talented and obviously a wonderful person.” He didn’t include that he felt like he’d never met anyone like you, never met someone so perfectly matched to himself, in passions but also in work ethic and demeanor - compassionate yet confident. He felt like you got him perfectly and he got you. You had stopped your scramble to gather yourself and now you were both smiling at one another.

This had really been an unforgettable night, you couldn’t believe how well you two had meshed, like childhood friends reconnecting after years apart. “Can I give yeh a hug before you go?” Harry’s voice had grown raspier as the night had progressed. He had grown rather tired an hour ago, but had pushed through because they had been having so much fun and you hadn’t noticed his physical fading or the time, obviously. You stepped toward him and his large tattooed arms enveloped you into his body. His body truly dwarfed yours now as he held you to his chest. You both were warm and soft. He tucked his head on top of yours that rested on his chest. Your arms were loosely resting where his back met his waist because you would have had to strain to get them to encircle him. His arms rested around your small frame. “Love your jacket,” he mumbled into your hair. His rough voice was quiet, but the house was silent otherwise, Tusk Side C had finished around when you had noticed the time. The embrace lasted long, but it felt so amazing you had a hard time pulling yourself away, but you had to get back home.

“G’night Harry” you said softly at the threshold of his home. He had insisted on walking you to the front door at least, since you had declined his offer to walk you out to your car on the street. “G’night. Safe travels.”

You got in your car and headed to your apartment in the city. You didn’t bother digging for your phone so you turned on the radio and drove home singing whatever came on, including your own song at one point. The whole time you drove with a grin. Harry was the nicest person you’d ever met and you were confident that the two of you were friends now. As you pulled into your parking garage it dawned on you why you hadn’t connected your phone immediately when you got in your car. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” you put the car in park and rested your palms in the depressions of your eyesockets, over your closed eyelids, and rubbed hard. “Fuck!” It was far too late to drive back out to Malibu for your phone and you obviously couldn’t text Harry that you’d left your phone at his place, despite the two of you exchanging numbers during the night for future hang outs, so they didn’t have to be arranged through your managers, like playdates. Even if he found your phone between the cushions, he couldn’t drop it at your place in the morning because he didn’t know your address. This was a whole mess, you thought. You’d have to drive over in the morning and hope he was still there or email your manager from your computer. The former meant you got to see Harry sooner and likely your phone, too.

part 2

-

@berrynarrybanana​

[notmymainblog]

Can you do a young sirius black x reader fic where the reader and sirius are dating and the reader has really bad depression and he finds out about

⭐I most certainly can! I hope you’re doing well, love. Mental health is a vital part of our lives. Regulating our emotions and coping in healthy ways is super important. For a list of ways to cope with mental illness(s), please see this Post.⭐

Master list

InteractiveFics

To use: Download obvi. Click the icon (upper right by the search bar) in the first box enter your name. If you did it correctly, y/n should read as your actual name. Under that, it will say something along the lines of “need to change something other than “y/n?” there you can change anything you want. ”y/h/c” and “y/h” don't work together, so please enter “y/ho” if you're inputting your Hogwarts house.

I’ll be using y/f/s as your favorite song, so please add that to InteractiveFics

Writing prompts for writer's block: “I’m begging you, please don’t lock yourself in your room.” & “You’d better put that knife down.”

Warnings: Swearing, lol, mentions of restricting (non-eating disordered), self-harm, depression, & anxiety.

Genre: Fluff (it’s not under sad because the ending is happy💕).

“The path out of hell is through misery. By refusing to accept the misery that is part of climbing out of hell, you fall back into hell.” -Marsha Linehan

   “y/n,” Sirius groaned, “for Merlin’s sake, come to dinner,”

     A soft “no” could be heard through the thick oak door of your y/ho dorm. It was met with an exasperated sigh from the other side.

     “y/n, please. I don’t think I’ve seen you out of your dorm all weekend,” Sirius said.

     “I don’t feel well, Siri, just go eat without me,” you said.

     You weren’t exactly sure what spurred your depression, but it’s here now, and it was seriously (hehe, siriusly) fucking with you. Sleeping seemed to be your only hobby besides homework and wallowing in self-loathing. Dinner was scarce. It was hard to take care of yourself. 

     Brushing your teeth was hard, showering was hard, brushing your hair was hard, trying not to breakdown in a room full of people you just knew were looking and talking about you was hard. Not thinking you were worth anything was hard. Watching Sirius talking to other, prettier girls even just for a moment was really hard. It always made you doubt. 

     Life was pretty fucking shitty. ‘‘Fuck’’ was a pretty big word in your vocabulary. “fuck this shit,” “fuck you,” “fuck off,” and “fuck life” were some of your favorites.

     It didn’t take a genius to recognize that you were down in the dumps, so Sirius spent most of his time trying to cheer you up. His efforts mostly consisted of dying Dumbledore’s beard, listening to your favorite songs, or just touching you any chance he got. Laying his head on your shoulder, holding hands, or crossing his foot under yours during dinner.

     It was sweet that he wanted to help, and he was really giving it his all, but being around him just meant that you plastered on a grin and told him you were feeling “much better.”    

     “You’re magically sick every weekend y/n, just come with me. It’ll be quick, but you need to eat, babe,” he pleaded.

     And so, you begrudgingly went down to dinner. The great hall was bright and noisy, the complete opposite of your dim, quiet room. 

     “y/n!” James grinned, “you came out of your cave!”

     Remus elbowed him, “we’re happy to see you y/n.” he smiled.

You sat down and took a plate, putting whatever was in front of you on it and forcing the food down your throat. Your body was thankful, and you had forgotten how nice it was to eat and laugh with friends. Unfortunately, you felt like you were hit by a bus about two minutes later.

     It’s too loud, too bright, you’re too tired, too anxious, they’re all looking at you, all trying to talk to you, and it’s overwhelming. You feel a hand on your arm, and it pushes you over the edge.

     “I really, just can’t, um, I’m just,” you stuttered, “um yeah sorry, sick. Bye,”

    You walked away quickly, nearly jogging. 

     “Jesus Christ, Sirius, what’d you do to her,” James said.

     “What do you mean? It’s just her period,” he shrugged, “every year for a month,” 

     Remus put his head in his hands, “it’s once a month for a week. She’s depressed, Sirius. Are you that thick?”

     James nodded along with Remus. He didn’t know anything about periods except that Lily punched him a lot more when she had hers.

     Sirius looked up at Remus, “what do you mean depressed? She always says she feels better when we hang out,” he smiled triumphantly, “and she always smiles around me,” 

     “She’s faking it, Siri. She just doesn’t want you to worry. I’ll go comfort her, don’t worry about it,” Remus replied, getting up.

      “No, no, no! I wanna do it! I’m her boyfriend, it’s my job to...to...what exactly should I do?” he trailed off.

     It wasn’t that Sirius didn’t struggle with depression; it was that he had never had someone to comfort him. He couldn’t even imagine what he would need, let alone you.

     As much as Remus wanted to tell Sirius to back off while he took care of it, he tried to help.

     “fine,” Remus sighed and sat back down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Twenty minutes later and it was back to square one.

     “y/n open up! Please?” he said.

     “No! Just go away!” you responded in-between small sobs.

      “I’m begging you, please don’t lock yourself in your room.” he pleaded.

     He heard shuffling before you slowly opened the door. Your eyes were puffy and watery, your sleeves were rolled up, and a knife was in your hand.

     “What?” you mumbled.

     He pushed the door open with little resistance. You stood to the side, looking down. Your room was pretty clean except for a pile of letters on your desk, a very messy bed, and your clothes were thrown everywhere.

     He turned around to look at you. You were gorgeous. You were wearing the dress he loved. You braided your hair and put on some makeup. Next, he saw the letters piled on your desk. He looked over at you again as you sniffled.

     His eyes watered, “oh my god, y/n. You were gonna...”

     “Why do you care,” you interrupted, “nobody cares,”

     “Honey, why would you think that?”

     “I dunno... I just know,” you said, fiddling with the knife in your hands.

     He sighed, “y/n you’d better put that knife down.” he threatened.

     “Why?!” you shouted, “Why should I stay?!” your tears were hot. They blurred your vision.

     “Because we need you y/n,” he said, “because we fucking love you and need you. What the fuck would we do without you y/n? Think about James and Lily and Remus (fuck Peter, my homies, and I hate Peter). Think about your mom and dad. Think about me. The wedding we wouldn’t get to have. I’d say kids, but you’ve made it very clear that childbirth isn’t for you,” he smiled weakly.

     “and we can get a house. and a cat cause we already have a dog,” he said

     “No, we don’t?” you said, confused.

      “It’s me y/n I’m the dog,” he laughed, “you always call me ‘dog boy’ when you’re pissed off,”

     He inched closer and eased the knife from your hands.

     “There we go, honey, it’s okay now,” he soothed, “let’s get this out of here, huh?” he tucked it in his pocket, “we’re gonna put it away, and we’re not gonna hurt ourselves. we’re gonna stay nice and safe,” he stroked your cheek before giving you a soft kiss.

     “That’s it. That’s my girl. It’s alright now, honey,” he wrapped his arms around you.

     He hummed softly and led you over to the bed.

     “You’re humming y/f/s?” you whispered.

     He nodded, “I know it’s your favorite, princess,”

     He muttered some spells as his wand traced your cuts. It felt like warm water washed over them. It kind of burned. His arms wrapped around you, and he pulled you to his chest.

     “shh, that’s it, sweetie, just relax. Just lay with me,” he kissed the top of your head, “I am so proud of you for eating today.”

     The praise made the corners of your lips turn up in a small smile.

     “There’s a pretty smile, love,” he whispered, “there’s my y/n. You’re so perfect, honey. I love you so much y/n,” he said.

     The next few weeks were spent slowly working your way up to eating at least two meals, brushing your teeth at least once, letting Sirius brush your hair (he loves brushing your hair so much oml), and talking to the four of them again. At first, it was just one of them every so often and then two, and before you knew it, you were comfortable having all four of them sat in your dorm.

     And then you started heading down to the common room, to the marauders’ dorms, until you were sitting around the fire in the common room, laughing. You had been in the pit. You were sitting at the bottom of it, flipping off everyone who called down to you and wanted to help. It was hot in the pit. The ladder was hot.

     So you decided to stay in the pit until one day, Sirius Black threw down a pair of oven mitts. This metaphorical pit was extremely real to you, and the ladder was really fucking hot, but the oven mitts helped, and when you climbed out of the pit, it was a beautiful sunny day.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you may have noticed, y/n’s depression seems mild at first, and that's what happens irl. It's fine until you break open; it’s intense. So I tried to capture that.