#please please give me your opinion and advice I need it

[everythingiwishtobe]

Solstice

curled up in my dreadful corner

that's forever shunned the light

my eternal view is only You

so radiant, so warm, so bright.

it feels as though You're luminous

but Your rays don't reach me quite.

Your glow avoids my silhouette.

draws away from reaching hands.

i fear my touch might wipe it out.

i'm scared You'll see me as a threat.

lest my presence dim You down

i find myself in darkness still.

Your reflection in my eyes

is the only light I've known

the only one

i ever will.

[vanessafaron]

How To Shift Realities

An in-depth guide by Vanessa Faron

Introduction & Disclaimer

By the time you are finished reading this, you will know how to shift. You will have all the information you need in order to shift to your desired realities. Whether you actually apply this information is your call. If you apply, you will shift.

If you come from a shifttok background like me, the chances are you’ve been exposed to an insane amount of misinformation and limiting beliefs. I managed to escape this through my own research but I’m aware not everyone has managed to do this. This is why I’m here. Shifttok is unfortunately still full of misinformation. I am not saying this with any malice or ill intention. I made this account to try and help.

Before I go any further I want to clarify a few things:

I do not think I’m a shifting God. I don’t have the ability to make you shift, you do. I’m merely here to provide all the information that I think is helpful in regards to the Law of Assumption, which is in my opinion, the key to shifting. I truly believe that we need to look at shifting through the manifestation lens in order to understand it.

If this rubs you the wrong way or doesn’t resonate, you don’t have to take my advice. Please be aware I will not be arguing about it anywhere.

Law of Assumption

Now, let's get into it. What is the Law of Assumption?

I don’t find it easy to summarise, but in the simplest of ideas it is that whatever you believe to be true, is true for you. It is not “just another shifting method” it is the reason for everything. This will make more sense later on.

Let me go over a few things you need to know about the Law.

Your imagination is reality. This is the most important bit of information I can give you. We’ve been taught to see the physical world as reality and that our imagination is just imagination. However, everything in our physical world comes from imagination. Our physical world is a direct reflection of us. Our assumptions, beliefs and our state/identity. The physical world is not a separate from us, we are in power over it.

I mentioned that the physical world is a reflection, so to make a simple analogy, think of it as a mirror. Now think of a real mirror. You look in the mirror and you don’t like your reflection. What do you do? Try and change the mirror? No, you don’t change the mirror. You change yourself. You fix your makeup, change your outfit, do your hair, whatever. You change yourself. The mirror now reflects your new look. Your new state. Your new story. This is how you should see reality. The physical world is reflecting your inner world. Therefore, how do you change the physical world? You change the inner world.

I will be using some shorter terms, so just to clarify:

Physical/outer world = 3D

Imagination/inner world = 4D

How to Apply

So how do you change the inner world?

It’s actually very simple. You just have to be the person who has what you want. I know that sounds vague so I will go into a bit more detail.

It all comes down to using your imagination.

Think about what you want. Since we are using the context of shifting, imagine your DR.

You can use various methods to imagine. Whether that’s visualisation, affirmations, scripting, whatever works for you. Use your imagination to see your DR. Use your imagination to be in your DR. Stay in imagination for a time and allow yourself to feel fulfilled. By fulfilled, I don’t mean that you have to feel strong emotions, you just need to feel fulfilled in the fact that you are already there. How do you know you are already there? You saw it in imagination. Imagination is reality.

When you accept that you are in your DR through imagination, your state naturally changes. What is your state? Your I AM. Your I AM/state is who you are. The reason some of you are not shifting is because your I AM is “I am someone who hasn’t shifted. I am someone who hasn’t shifted in the 4 years I’ve been trying.” The second you identify as a master shifter, you are a master shifter. Start saying “I am a master shifter.” Start saying “I am someone who has already shifted. I am someone who is currently in my DR.”

So then what? Simple. You continue with your day knowing that you have already shifted. Remember, you saw your DR in imagination, your reality. You have accepted that it’s true for you because it is. You are already there. You have already shifted. All you need to do is persist in the knowledge that you have already shifted. There is literally nothing else you need to do.

What? That’s it? Yep, that’s it.

What about attempting to shift? Why would you attempt to shift when you’ve already shifted?

What about methods? You. Do. Not. Need. Methods.

Thoughts on Methods

Unfortunately a lot of shifters are very heavily focused on methods. The general assumption of that community is that you just need to find the right method for you. This is false. The shift comes from you accepting your new reality and letting go of the old one. Methods can help you get there but they are NOT what makes you shift. You are what makes you shift. I need everyone to understand this.

I am not saying methods are useless. They’re not. They really do help some people. I never liked them or found them useful but I understand why some people do. If they work for you, wonderful. Use them. However, I stand by the fact you don’t need them. This is a controversial take but you also don’t need to meditate to shift. Again, I’m not saying meditation is useless because it’s definitely not. It is a great tool for regulating your nervous system when unwanted thoughts pop up and for observing your thoughts coming in. You do not need it to shift.

Another limiting belief that some shifters still have is that you need to “detach from your CR” in order to shift. That you have to be in an altered state of consciousness. You don’t. Shifting is instantaneous and it can happen at any time in any state. Wide awake, while asleep, it can happen ANY TIME. You are not travelling to another reality. You are changing the reality around you using the power of your consciousness. We shift awake literally all the time. It is no different when shifting to your DR.

How to Shift

To summarise it down to a step-by-step “method”, here is how to shift realities:

1. Identify where you want to be.

2. Be there in imagination.

3. Accept your imagination as reality. You have already shifted. You are already there.

4. Persist in the knowing that you have shifted and there’s nothing else to do.

That’s it. It is that easy.

There are a few more things I want to talk about to really make sure you are getting the most out of this information.

A lot of us feel 3D oriented, which I totally understand. We got into shifting with the intention of physically being in our DRs. Don’t worry, you will be. However, in order to physically shift you need to internally shift. By doing this, you need to take power away from the 3D. If you see your DR in imagination, then return to the physical world and start thinking “well where is it” or “why am I not there yet” you are not really understanding this.

The second you start looking at the 3D for confirmation that you’ve shifted is when you give power back to the 3D and you start thinking from a place of lack. You have to look within for your validation. The validation will always come from YOU. As I said before, your 4D is where “creation” begins. So when you are feeling doubts, return to imagination to feel fulfilled and then carry on with your day, keeping the feeling of knowing that you’ve already shifted because you HAVE.

YOU SAW IT IN IMAGINATION. YOUR REALITY. YOU HAVE ALREADY SHIFTED. YOU ARE ALREADY THERE.

That is literally all you need to do. Your 3D will naturally conform.

Don’t worry about the how and the when in regards to the physical shift. The how will happen however it happens, and the when doesn’t matter because time isn’t real anyway. You just have to know that it is done the second you see it in your imagination. It is done. The how and the when is none of your concern, you are already there. You’ve shifted! Congratulations!

Another thing I feel the need to address:

I’m aware some of you guys are shifting to escape from your current realities. I was like you and I completely understand and sympathise. I will give you the advice that helped me but if it doesn’t resonate, I apologise and understand.

Circumstances only have an affect on us because we give them meaning. Nothing has meaning until we give it meaning. There’s a phrase that helped me deal with unfavourable 3D circumstances: Observe, don’t absorb. Observe the unwanted things but don’t let it shake your knowing that you have already shifted. None of it matters because you are not here anymore. This did take me a while to come to grips with, so give it time. But keep on applying this and things will seem much easier. I applied this and after a while my anxiety levels were at an all time low and nothing was able to shake the knowing that I was already in my DR. Nothing here mattered. I already shifted.

Summary and Final Thoughts

Finally, to summarise again, here’s how to shift using the Law:

Change your state by changing your I am, using your imagination and accepting that you have already shifted. Persist in that knowledge. That is all.

As I mentioned before, a lot of you guys enjoy methods, which is totally cool, so if you would like to continue with methods, just identify as someone who shifts every time they do their method. If you still wake up in your CR when you do your method, no you didn’t. You successfully shift every time, remember? Just persist in that knowing and it will reflect in your reality.

This is all the information you need. However, if you would like to do your own research like I did, I recommend EdwardArt on YouTube and the Neville Goddard subreddit. They made it click for me.

Now go shift.

[astropookie]

planets on your 1H and I’ll tell you somwthing about it

betty boop

mercury 1H: overthinking. always persuading people to do what they want. they’re not as many writers as I thought, they seem to be more attracted to careers where they have to communicate with others, like selling, etc.

moon 1H: pretty sensitive. can be a maniac with manipulative and “I always have what I want” issues. they want someone who’ll understand them 100% the way they want even though that’s not posible. they want to be seen. they can like animals a lot.

jupiter 1H: almost philosophers but not. they want to live in the moment but their thinking keeps them hypnotized. they could be drawn to learn and teach others but they have to have in mind that not everyone wants to be their student.

sun 1H: they’re always talking about what they want to do next, their next plan that’d please their desires and would help to create the person they want to become in the future. takes decisions before thinking about others. their attitude brings attention easily.

mars 1H: take a deep breath, you’d worship your goal as you want, just relax. really confident about your sex appeal. too much energy to contain in one body. realize your stamina in some kind of sport so you won’t yell at me. direct. intense? you know what you want and would do wathever to make it reality.

venus 1H: okay pillow princess -I’m joking😭-. there’s a lot of things you want to do but you want others to help you out. dependent. it’s all good until you have to confront the things you don’t like. stop living in your bubble.

uranus 1H: stop thinking you’re so unique and that the world needs people like you to keep spinning -that was me totally roasting myself-. it’s okay you can open up, people would still have different opinions about you and that’s okay, fuck them. what you’re determined to do doesn’t have to always end up as you want.

neptune 1H: yes, people like you. yes, people adore you but for what? for showing them a person you’re not just because their idea of you wasn’t yourself? also, go outside your head and look what kind of people surrounds you. there’s a conflict between finding your identity bc you weren’t showing how you truly felt all this time.

saturn 1H: just bc you had a trauma doesn’t mean it would repeat and that if it does it won’t traumatized you as before. it would be different, it doesn’t mean you’d feel better👅 just follow your advices. you’re too stubborn to be in tune with your emotions. you’re not gonna have control about everything.

pluto 1H: too paranoiac. they’re not following you pls stop 😭. they keep asking why and when and every question you’d imagine just because they don’t trust you. pretty attractive though, pretty mysterious. people want to k more and more about you bc you give them nothing. magnetic.

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ/ᐠ - ˕ -マ.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ♡ ⋆ ˖ ݁ . ₍^⸝⸝> ·̫ <⸝⸝ ^₎ ༘⋆૮꒰ྀི⸝⸝> . <⸝⸝꒱ྀིა ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ૮₍˶ •. • ⑅₎ა

ꕤ Based on personal experience and I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

ꕤ English is not my first language.

ꕤ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[luveline]

Hey my lovely, could i equest a blurb where reader seeks one of spencer's hugs and he's all soft and mushy about it!! I just think he'd give really warm hugs and want one so bad!

shy!reader + post!prison Spencer have a hug

Spencer understands why you might find him intimidating. He did go to prison for a few weeks, and even if the idea of his being a potential felon didn’t scare you, there’s nothing wrong with being nervous around the unknown. You’ve had a few more weeks to get to know the others on the team. He tries not to take it personally that you’re closer with some of them than you are him. 

Plus, you’re awfully shy. 

Spencer’s been trying to communicate that he’s an idiot. He was shy, once, and he tends to be shy about things now, too, even if he’s taken to hiding that. He hides a lot, these days. 

But things aren’t hopeless with you. You’re inarguably his best work friend now that Morgan’s not around, taking the desk next to his —through coincidence or insistence, he has no idea. 

“What flavour do you have today?” he asks. 

You show him your bag. The convenience store outside of work has the strangest sweets from all sorts of places. You’ve been bringing in a different bag each day, and you always share. “Today is apricot and peach ‘millions’,” you tell him, shaking the bright pink bag like a rattle. 

Inside, the millions bounce against each other like miniscule polystyrene balls but with a heavier weight. 

“Awesome!” he says, holding out his hand. “Please?” 

You rip the corner and tip a generous helping of candies into his palm, doing the same in your own hand. “Ready?” you ask. 

“Three, two, one.” 

You both tip your heads back at the same time. Apricot and peach are similar flavours, and Spencer can’t tell the difference when they’re both in play. He can also taste apple juice and the sharp citric acid flavour they put in every candy. 

He can’t tell if you like them. He quite enjoys it, will happily eat the leftovers if you’re not interested, but your attention isn’t on the candy when he looks up. You’re staring straight at him. 

“What?” he asks, perturbed. 

“Nothing, just. Had a rough morning. Thanks for trying the candy with me.” 

He frowns. “I’m sorry. Let me know if there’s something I can do to make you feel better. I can make you a cup of hot chocolate?” 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

Spencer’s sure that to an outsider, he and the team appear to travel to a hundred cities a month. In reality, cases aren’t as densely packed, especially with the government expanding their profiling teams, and the majority of Spencer’s day is spent answering emails and giving advice to agents, law enforcement, and his colleagues. He doesn’t see much of you (where you’re forced to work ViCAP calibration as newbies usually are, almost like a hazing) but he does take you that hot chocolate around lunch time. Just to make sure you have the option. 

It’s sometime past four PM when you appear again. 

“Hey,” he says, turning to you where you’re paused behind your desk chair, “you're finally done?” 

“Not yet. So many case files to transcribe, opinions to cross check, signatures and…” You wince. “It’s a lot. You already know.” 

“I don’t, actually. I only ever had to do ViCAP as punishment, and I was extremely well-behaved. For a while, anyway.” 

You hesitate with something heavy on the tip of your tongue. You’re like every profiler wherein your tells are self-identified and quelled, but you’re still so new, and Spencer’s an expert. You want to ask him for something, but you don’t think you’re allowed. If he presses the issue you’ll shut down, and if he offers you another cup of hot chocolate you’ll simply drink it without letting him in on the real secret. 

Spencer waits. 

“Spencer, you don’t have to say yes, just… You’re the nicest friend I have, and you always know what I need to hear. Um, I know you don’t like touching people and I wouldn’t ask you to if you don’t want to, but it’s been a really long time since someone hugged me, and…” Your voice gets quieter and quieter, until you’re whispering, and then fizzling out. 

“You want a hug?” he asks, surprised. 

“If that’s okay.” 

“I give really good hugs,” he warns, climbing from his chair immediately, arms opened, an unmissable invitation. “You’ll never get over it.” 

“Really?” 

He can’t believe you came to him specifically for a hug. He’s gonna lose his mind. Gentle, Spencer ushers you into his arms, head quick to duck down, his thumb on your shoulder. 

You could’ve asked anybody in the office for a hug. Penelope would have hugged your brains out. Emily, Unit Chief and secret sweetheart, would’ve taken you off of ViCAP and given you a loving pat on the back. But you didn’t ask Penelope or Emily, you asked him. 

“You don’t have to ask me first,” he says quietly. 

“You don’t like touching.” 

“That’s more to do with germs, and I’m not worried about yours,” he says. “Unless you’re about to tell me you have a headache.” 

“It’s like this pounding behind my eyes,” you say with a laugh. 

Spencer smiles, his mouth and nose to the side of your head. He gives you a good ten seconds of quiet, his palm warming your shoulder, before he murmurs, “Any better?” 

“You’re really warm,” you murmur back. 

Spencer resists the urge to squeeze you. “It's the oxytocin.”

“Or you’re just really, really warm.”

[riizegasm]

Impure Intentions || L. CY (Anton)

❀ pairing: chaebol heir!anton x rival!reader, implied fem!reader

❀ genre: enemies to lovers (but not really), fluff, suggestive

❀ word count: ~6.7k

❀ warnings: explicit language, mentions of dysfunctional families, one heated kiss scene

❀ summary: From the day you were born, all you ever heard was, “don’t fall in love with Anton Lee.” A better heir to a multimillion dollar conglomerate would follow their family’s advice. But you…not so much.

❀ a/n: sheesh, talk about writer’s block. This work has taken me so long and so much effort, but i'm very proud of how it turned out! It may have even helped me out of my slump. Also, please don’t judge me too hard. I know nothing about business and corporate families!!! As always, likes, reblogs, and replies are strongly encouraged. Happy reading!

Your head aches. The lights in the banquet hall are too bright and the clink of gilded silverware is too loud. Polite chatter buzzes around you like a pesky fly evading a swatter. The air is suffocating, overly stuffy with high end perfumes and colognes clouding the space. This is torture; the Lee family banquets always are.

It would be better if you could enjoy the food or engage with the various guests like everyone else does, but this is enemy territory. Your family had made it abundantly clear that this was not an event for fun, but rather for scoping out the competition. Lectures about a corporate acquisition going south and details about poor contracting simply entered in one ear and left via the other. You didn’t care why you had to be there. The knowledge of your forced attendance did enough to damper your mood, especially once you were hit with all of the rules around your presence.

Sit still, look pretty, smile politely, eavesdrop on any corporate plans, and don’t talk to Anton Lee.

You never understood your family’s obsession with keeping you away from him, the prized son and heir of the Lee empire. Everyone made sure to fill your mind with negative opinions and baseless rumors about the young man, as if to deter you from even giving him a chance. It wasn’t like you had much of a choice, however. You’ve never even seen the man, let alone had a conversation with him. Anton Lee was much more of a mythical being than he was a person, in your eyes. He was always whispered about, but never seen.

From what you gathered, he was around your age, tall, broad, and supposedly extremely handsome. He was known for his overly harsh demeanor, rumored to command a room with a simple word. His presence apparently spoke volumes, enough to speak to his blunt nature and bad intentions. It made sense, your parents would always say. After all, he is a Lee.

“Fix your face, honey,” your mother snaps with a forced smile. “You’ll give yourself wrinkles before you turn thirty if you keep scowling like that.”

It takes everything in you to fight an eye roll, biting back the string of expletives waiting on the tip of your tongue. “Sorry. I’m going to run to the powder room.”

You don’t bother to wait for her response before excusing yourself from the cocktail table, getting lost in the crowds of people as you head towards the bathroom. Away from your family, the air feels somewhat lighter, although it still reeks of entitlement. The throb in your head is insistent now, forcing you to escape to find relief.

You find yourself heading towards a set of grandiose double doors, hoping they will lead you anywhere but here. Luckily, your prayers are answered as you step through them onto a stone balcony. The crisp nighttime air does wonders to cool your heated skin, a slight breeze ruffling the loose fabric of your dress.

This is exactly what you needed, space and solace.

“Rough night?”

A soft voice makes you jump out of your skin, whipping your head around to find the source. Its owner leans up against the exterior wall, somewhat bathed in shadow. All you can make out is a glimmer of white teeth, reflecting the moonlight.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” the figure apologizes, taking a small step forward into the light.

You feel your breath stutter in your chest as you take in the man. The first thing you notice is his sheer beauty, lips enticingly full and nose broad. His beauty is complemented by his tall stature, the height difference between you two becoming increasingly apparent as he approaches. Like this, bathed in the moonlight, it’s impossible not to notice the broadness of his shoulders and how they taper into a small waist. He fills out his all black suit beautifully, the garments clearly tailored to his every curve.

“Are you alright?” The man asks, stopping only a few feet away.

The concern in his tone is just enough to snap you out of your reverie.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just, um, needed some air.”

The man nods in understanding, leaning over to place his forearms against the balcony’s railing. You struggle not to eye the way his suit jacket stretches across an impossibly wide back. Instead, you mirror his stance, looking out at the beautiful gardens below, bathed in silvery moonlight. Just beyond the seemingly endless maze of hedges, you can make out what looks like a small lake, it’s surface rippling under the nighttime breeze. 

“It can be stuffy in there,” the man says softly. 

You find yourself hanging onto his every word, shocked that such a mild tone could come from such an intimidating man. “Yeah, it really can be.”

The man lets out a small chuckle, no doubt amused by your clear annoyance. “So I take it you’re not in the business.”

“No, I’m–,” you pause for a moment, not sure how much of your identity you should reveal to the stranger. “I’m related.”

He chuckles again, this time turning to look at you. “Hm, I guess I could say the same for me, then.”

A round of applause sounds from somewhere inside, and you curse under your breath, knowing your family will kill you for your absence. The man next to you seems unphased, as if he’s used to the party going on without him.

“I think I should get back.”

The man flashes you a smile, its brightness almost blinding in the dark. “That’s okay. It was nice chatting with you…”

“Y/N. And you are?”

“Anton,” he whispers. “I hope I can see you again, Y/N.”

An icy chill travels up your spine, momentarily freezing you in place. But you force yourself to remain composed, plastering a smile on your face. You silently thank your years of etiquette training and the countless social events you have had to smile for. With a slight nod of your head, you disappear back through the double doors, instantly choking on the scent of Chanel No. 5.

.        .        .

It’s easy to believe that your first encounter with Anton Lee would be your last, especially as the weeks pass without a single sign of him. It makes sense that he wouldn’t start making regular appearances at events after attending just once. He has managed to spend twenty years staying out of the spotlight, and you can’t imagine that changing now. 

But, for some reason, you can’t help but search for him in the crowd of every gala or at the tables of any grandiose banquet.

He would be easy to spot, with his overwhelming height and dazzling smile. Maybe his honey brown hair would be slicked back off his forehead this time, or maybe it would hang in front of his eyes to conceal his bright gaze. You’re sure that he would still talk in that overly soft tone of his, somehow managing to command a room without a change in volume. 

Even his absence begins to feel like a presence in and of itself, drawing you in like a moth to a flame. You tell yourself that it’s simple intrigue and nothing more. The first time you had ever laid eyes on your supposed family nemesis had been on a balcony bathed in the moonlight. Where had he been all these years?

More importantly, why had he disappeared again?

The question runs through your mind as you accept a flute of champagne from a waiter, eyes flitting around the charity dinner in hopes of spotting a specific someone. Somewhere near the front of the banquet hall, the Lee family is seated at a table with a few other wealthy families, but their oldest son is nowhere to be found. 

You crane your neck to get a better look. Just to be sure, you tell yourself. But the contorting you force yourself to do has you leaning right back into a waiter, your elbow knocking into his empty tray. The sudden movement has your champagne flute slipping out of your grasp, icy bubbles splattering across your chest and down the front of your dress. You can practically feel the daggers that your mother is shooting you from across the table, always having scolded you about the embarrassment that comes along with being a klutz. Before she can part her lips to tell you off, you excuse yourself politely, dashing out to find a restroom to freshen up. 

You let your heeled feet carry you through a maze of hallways, side stepping waiters and party guests as you move further and further away from the event space. It’s only when you travel down a flight of stairs that you find yourself a seemingly private restroom, briefly stepping inside to clean yourself up. No matter how much you dab at the stain in the center of your bust, the wine doesn’t seem to budge. You thank the heavens that it was champagne instead of a red, saving you some degree of embarrassment.

After a few minutes in the restroom, you find yourself wandering around, ending up in a much more secluded lounge space, equipped with a couple of couches surrounding a coffee table. You immediately collapse onto one, sighing as the ache in your feet finally lifts. 

It’s only then that you feel your eyes begin to sting, a familiar rush of heat striking your face as a lump begins to form in your throat. The sticky sweet smell of champagne still clings to your body, your dress uncomfortable where the alcohol seeped into it. You’re sure that you look a mess, knowing that tear smudged makeup would be the last thing to complete your disheveled look. 

“Another rough night?”

The soft rasp of a voice instantly has you perking up, breath caught in your throat as you take in the tall figure approaching you. His crisply pressed suit hugs his broad shoulders and cinches at an impossibly small waist. His lips are quirked upwards into a small smirk, clearly teasing. Something about it is enticing, setting off a stampede in your stomach.

“How could you tell?” You mumble, trying not to stare as Anton settles into a lounge chair across from you.

The man’s smirk just deepens. “Wild guess. What happened?”

“I spilled champagne on myself and now I look a mess.”

“You don’t,” Anton states, smirk dropping from his face. “You could never look bad.”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. “How would you even know that? You’ve only seen me twice.”

Anton chuckles, finally relaxing into the plush of his chair. His legs separate ever so slightly at the action, allowing you to admire his mile-long legs. It’s almost frustrating, how perfect he looks. You imagine that if anyone never looks bad, it’s him.

“I’ve seen you way more than twice, Y/N.”

The simple statement has you turning your eyes away from his figure, meeting his open gaze. He seems so casual, so unbothered, as if that one sentence hasn’t turned your world upside down.

“Wait, what?” You find yourself tripping over your words in the rush to get them out. “Wh-what do you mean you’ve seen me more than twice? I only met you the first time at that contracting dinner a few weeks ago.”

Anton chuckles again, cocking his head in a puppy-like manner. “Yeah, that was the first time we’ve met, but I’ve seen you so many times. You and your family have been at every major event since we were kids. How could I not see you?”

“But, I’ve never–,”

“I know,” Anton interrupts. “I like to stay outside or in whatever lounge areas I can find. These things always make me really anxious.”

Wow, you didn’t expect such an honest admission from a man of Anton’s status. If anything, his candor makes him much more attractive, as if he could get even more perfect.

“You know we’re supposed to hate each other?” He asks, a small smile making his eyes crinkle at the corners. “Apparently you’re my rival in the field, and I’m supposed to hate everything you say and do.”

Unfortunately, you know the feeling, causing you to let out a small giggle. “Oh trust me, I know. Do you, though?”

“Hate you?”

You nod, fighting a smile as Anton pretends to think.

“Nah,” he eventually answers. “My grandfather taught me from a very young age that I should never harbor negative feelings for beautiful women.”

The implication has heat rushing to your face, forcing you to struggle to keep your composure. “Well, my family has always told me that attractive men always have impure intentions.”

Anton chuckles, shaking his head slightly. He takes a beat before standing, letting his eyes rake over your still seated figure as he begins to retreat down the hallway. It’s impossible to decipher where the intensity of his gaze stems from. He eyes you as if he were hungry, trapping you against the couch with his stare alone.

“Then let me show you just how impure my intentions are.”

The man is gone with little more than a wink and a smile, leaving you with warm cheeks and the scent of champagne clouding your nose. 

.        .        .

You’re surprised to see Anton as soon as the next event, only three weeks later. It’s a simple charity ball for some rare disease research, but for some reason, Anton has decided not to hide in the shadows for this event. It’s interesting to watch how despite his supposed anxiety, he is clearly in his element. He greets everyone kindly, shooting various guests a charming smile as he is introduced to them. His father looks proud of him, a hand kept clapped over his shoulder the entire time. 

You wonder if he’s comfortable like this, with a blur of people and faces constantly passing by him. However, you are instantly snapped out of your wondering when a manicured hand grips your shoulder. The feeling of your mothers lips close to your ear sends a shiver down your spine, a perpetually bad omen. 

“Straighten up,” she scolds. “We’re going over to talk to the Lees. Their son is making a public appearance at an event like this for the first time. No funny business.”

You would laugh if not for the uncomfortable way her nails dig into your shoulder. It forces you to instantly fall in line behind your father, taking a deep breath as you get closer to the Lees. What is only a few seconds feels like hours until you finally stand face to face with your supposed rival. 

“Yoon Sang, it’s a pleasure to see you again,” your father greets, shaking the hands of the head of the Lee family. 

He even leans in to place a friendly kiss on Mrs. Lee’s cheek. You find yourself standing frozen in place as the parents exchange greetings, unable to do anything but stare at the man before you. He sports his signature charming smile, mouth full of perfectly white teeth on display. Not for the first time, you feel your face grow warm. 

“We thought it was about time for our Y/N to meet Anton. After all, they will be competitors when they take over the respective businesses, right?”

Your father’s comment snaps you back to attention. However, you are immediately distracted by the feeling of Anton’s large hand engulfing yours, his palm both warm and surprisingly soft to the touch. You have to glance upwards to meet his eyes, but it’s impossible to miss the amused glint in his stare. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N. I have heard so much about you.”

You force a smile on your face. “The pleasure is all mine.”

It’s easy to tune out the conversation after that, letting the adults blabber on while you reminisce about the feeling of Anton’s hand in yours. The man seems to be similarly distracted, clearly eyeing your figure. The silence between you speaks volumes, and you hope your parents are too deaf to hear it. 

“We would love to have Anton over at our headquarters sometime,” your mother suggests, her piercing voice rising above the noise of the ball. “I’m sure Y/N would be happy to show him around!”

You don’t even have time to process the full body panic that begins to overcome you before Anton’s family is readily agreeing. 

“I agree that it would be great for them to know the ins and outs of the business,” Mr. Lee replies with an overly saccharine smile. “We would love to have Y/N over for lunch at the estate as well. Who knows? Maybe they’ll find themselves to be friends.”

Your dad chuckles, obviously disgusted by the thought. “You’re so right. The two might even do a merger some day!”

As the group erupts into phony laughter, you feel the beginnings of a migraine tingling behind your left eye. Something about the cacophony of laughs and the dull classical music is making you ache, your stomach starting to swim with nausea. You dare a glance upward, fighting the pain that blooms in your head with the motion. 

Anton’s gaze is bright where it meets yours, a soft smile poised on his full lips. His cheeks are dusted with a slight blush, clearly flustered by the implications. There’s a slight fidget in his fingers, twirling expensive rings as a means of soothing himself. 

He’s cute, you realize, not for the first time. 

It’s only after a few more moments that the families say goodbye, the Lees promising to send a lunch invitation soon. Anton shoots you another smile before he follows behind his family, suddenly looking small despite his large stature. You can’t help but smile as you watch his departure, suddenly realizing that your migraine has disappeared. 

.         .         .

The Lee estate is just as gorgeous as you expected it to be, with tall stone gates and artfully placed landscaping. It looks impossibly large from where you’re seated in the car, causing nerves to begin to creep up your spine. You pass off the butterflies that begin to flutter in your core as obvious intimidation that comes with being on the property of your family’s biggest rivals. It surely has nothing to do with an overly soft voice, broad shoulders, and kind eyes. 

“Remember,” your mother had told you before sending you off. “This is business. Reveal nothing and absorb everything. And most importantly, remember that Anton Lee is not your friend.”

You take a step out onto the perfectly paved driveway, surprised to already see someone standing by the door. Anton seems to perk up when you lock eyes, shooting you a polite smile. His wave betrays his excitement, though. You imagine that if he were a puppy, his tail would be wagging. 

“Y/N, hey! I’m glad you actually came.”

“Please,” you shoot him a cheeky smile. “As if I could ever turn down an invitation from the Lee family.”

Anton lets out a slight groan. “Don’t remind me that this is ‘business.’”

“Well then what would you like for me to call it?”

Anton shrugs, turning to hold the front door open for you. It’s only when you pass through the threshold, Anton still standing behind you that he responds. 

“A lunch date.” Before you have the chance to respond, Anton is shutting the door behind you both. “Come this way. Food’s on the patio.”

It takes a few turns down intricate hallways to get to a set of double doors that lead to the patio. As promised, there’s an assortment of sandwiches and salad laid out on a round table, two seats set across from each other. You would be impressed, if not for the even more stunning view that lay before you. 

The patio looks out on sprawling gardens, tall bushes and blooming flowers swaying softly in the breeze. A little beyond the landscaping, a wooden dock leads out to a large pond, its greenish-blue water seemingly sparkling under the midday sun. 

“Wow, this is beautiful,” you breathe out, unable to take your eyes off the sight before you. 

“Yeah, it is, isn’t it? My parents have always had an affinity for water.”

You imagine that all of their properties have pools or lakes, much like this one. Meanwhile, your own family prefers the hustle and bustle of the concrete jungle, never expanding beyond brutalist modern penthouses in the tallest apartment buildings in the city. It must be nice, you imagine, to have a space that feels like a home and not just another office. 

Eventually, the two of you sit, settling into a comfortable silence as you distribute food amongst yourselves. It’s quite amusing to watch Anton as he eats, clearly possessing the hunger of a growing young man while forcing himself to take small bites and practice the etiquette of an heir. You wonder if you look the same, so obviously restrained while you want to let loose, if only for a bit. 

Despite the fact that you haven’t seen another person since you set foot in the Lee estate, you know that people must be somewhere. There are always eyes on you. 

“I’m surprised that your family was so adamant about having me over,” you begin, settling back in your chair. “I thought I was the enemy.”

Anton smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Well you know what they say. Keep the enemy close and all that.”

“Is that what you want to do? Keep me close?”

You know you’re treading in dangerous waters. All it would take is one word about the obvious flirting to Anton’s parents for you to become your family’s disgrace. You can practically see the headline now: Conglomerate Heiress Gets Rejected By Rivals’ Son. Your family would disown you. And yet, as color begins to flood Anton’s cheeks, you can’t find it within yourself to care. 

“Yeah,” he says, voice coming out even softer than usual. “I think that is what I want to do.”

You duck your head, clearing your throat in an attempt to settle the flutter in your stomach. “I’d like that.”

A sudden interest in lunch leaves both of you munching away in silence. It’s peaceful, despite blushing cheeks and racing heartbeats. It allows you to realize that being around Anton is unlike being around anyone else in your family’s circle. Here, there’s no pressure to be prim and proper, no pressure to listen out for secret ins and outs of business. 

It’s odd to find comfort in the one person who is supposed to bring you anything but. And yet, with the warmth of the sun on your face and the pleasant fullness in your belly, you’ve never felt more at home. 

“You know,” Anton starts once you have both cleared your plates. “I think we’re supposed to be talking about business.”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. “Can I be honest?”

Anton nods slightly, honey brown hair shifting across his forehead. 

“The business is the last thing I want to talk about.”

Anton smiles. “Trust me, I feel the same way.”

There’s a beat of silence, the two of you content to simply sit as the breeze ruffles the flowers that dot the landscape. When Anton speaks again, you watch his mouth, noting the way that his lips hold the same hue of the red tulips in the nearby flower bed. 

“Can I show you something?”

The simple question has your gaze flickering back upwards, trying to ignore the way your heart races when his eyes meet yours.

“Sure,” you whisper, words instantly carried away by the wind. 

Following behind Anton through the grass proves to be harder than you imagined, his long legs allowing him to move with a grace and speed that is difficult to match. He leads you in between a maze of flower beds, bringing you deeper into the garden until you’re surrounded by tall hedges on either side. From here, it’s impossible to see the house, so you just continue to follow behind Anton. You find yourself eyeing the broadness of his shoulders and the way his shirt shifts across the muscles of his back as he walks. It’s hypnotizing, so much so that you don’t realize that you have arrived at your destination. 

“This is my thinking spot,” Anton says with a little flutter of his arms, clearly trying to present the space to you. 

The hedge maze has opened up to a small central pocket, not housing much except for a small fountain and a stone bench. Anton is quick to take a seat, motioning for you to occupy the space next to him. It’s a bit of a squeeze, putting you and Anton close enough that you can feel the heat of his skin on your own. You dig your nails into the stone of the bench, hoping that it will steel your nerves. 

“I like to come out here when my parents get in my head about the business. It’s pretty peaceful.”

“Yeah,” you say softly, despite knowing that no one is within earshot. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, it really is.”

There’s an airiness to Anton’s voice that has you turning to face him. You take in a sharp inhale when you notice that his eyes are already on you, the close proximity leaving your faces mere inches away from each other. The overwhelming rush of blood in your ears forces you to turn away, taking a deep breath to calm your thundering heartbeat. 

“You take all the girls here?” You aim for teasing, but the slight break in your voice makes it err more on the side of desperation. 

Anton shakes his head earnestly. “You’re the first person I’ve brought here who isn’t my family.”

The admission feels like a sucker punch to the gut. Except there’s no pain, just a rush of warmth that climbs up your throat like ivy. Anton is clearly surprised as well, his own words deepening the pretty flush that has taken hold on his cheeks. His bottom lip is trapped by his teeth, its plushness oh so enticing in the afternoon sun. 

“Y-you know,” you stutter out, swallowing thickly before continuing. “When you said you had impure intentions, I thought you were joking.”

“I don’t think I could joke about how bad I want you.”

It should feel like a corny line. It should feel like something he says to all the girls. After all, he’s Anton Lee. He could get anyone he wanted at the drop of a hat. So why does it feel so real when he says it to you? Why does it feel like those words are meant for you, and only you?

Anton’s gravity is pulling you closer, allowing you to lean further into his space. You’re close enough that you can feel his warm breath fanning your face, coming out in gentle puffs that reveal just how fast his heart is racing. He has released his bottom lip by now, leaving it glossy with saliva. It’s impossible not to anticipate the smooth glide of it against your own. 

A sudden vibration snaps you both out of your bubble, the two of you popping apart as if you were repelling magnets. It takes a few seconds for you to realize that the vibration is coming from your own phone, buzzing incessantly. You shoot Anton an apologetic look before stepping away to take the call. 

“We need you back home,” your mother rushes from the other side of the line, not bothering to waste time greeting you. “Your father wants to hear about your business with the Lees before he heads to his strategy meeting in an hour.”

“But the Lee house is thirty minutes away!”

You can practically hear your mother’s eye roll over the phone. “Then you better get going.”

.         .         .

Business meeting, my house at 4pm?

The text comes as both a surprise and the most expected invitation in the world. In your flurry to leave his house the week before, you had made sure to leave the man with your number. In turn, he smiled wide, promising to invite you over for another “business meeting” soon. 

Before you can inquire about how much business will actually be necessary to discuss, your phone buzzed again. 

My parents just left for a business trip to Milan. 

A flutter rushes through your stomach at the implications. It’s clear what that means, that the two of you will finally have a chance to act on your chemistry without the watchful eyes of competitive families. The two of you will finally get to exist as your own people, and not as rivals and heirs of major global conglomerates. 

The thought alone has you spending extra time on your appearance as you get ready. You make sure your hair sits just right and that your lips are perfectly glossy before pulling on a swimsuit and heading over. You try your best to remain as still as possible during the entire ride there, knowing that nerves in combination with the late summer heat will be enough to set you aflame. 

Your heart is slamming in your chest by the time you finally pull into Anton’s driveway. It’s accompanied by a soft flutter of affection when you spot Anton’s figure, waving at you from the doorway. The wide smile on his face alone is enough to melt you. But the relaxed fit of his muscle tee and the way his swim shorts sit low on his hips has your face flooding with heat. 

He greets you with a tight hug when you cross the threshold into the house. You try not to swoon at the firm pressure of his arms around your torso, ignoring the heat of his bare skin on your own. Anton had never touched you before, not beyond a simple handshake exchanged in front of parents, always respectful to a fault. For the first time, you find yourself grateful for that fact, knowing that now that you’ve had a taste of his touch, you will forever be addicted. 

“I’m so happy to see you,” Anton gushes. “My parents have been really getting on my nerves about business and competition lately.”

“So you decided to invite the competition over to chill?”

Anton smiles, cocking his head in a puppy-like manner. “No, I invited the competition over to swim!”

So that’s why he reminded you to wear a bathing suit mere minutes before you left for his house. It makes sense, from the minimal texts that the two of you exchanged. Anton was always excited about the balanced heat of late summer, citing it as the perfect time for a lakeside swim. You wouldn’t know, of course, never having the luxury of having a lake in your backyard.

“What about your staff?”

“I let everyone have the afternoon off,” Anton responds proudly before letting his smile sink into something softer, more private. “I just wanted us to have some time alone.”

The simple admission rings out loudly in the otherwise quiet house. It’s clear how badly Anton wants this, how bad he wants your company despite the taboo that comes with it. Unsurprisingly, you find yourself wanting it just as bad, if not more. You’ve never craved anyone’s presence the way you have craved Anton’s, despite him being the one person in the world that you supposedly need to keep your distance from.

A small nod on your end is enough for Anton’s smile to grow once again, pearly whites on full display as his eyes wrinkle at the corners. The sight alone has your heart beating a little harder in your chest, the minor flutter in your abdomen growing into a full stampede of emotions. The feeling only intensifies as Anton engulfs your hand in his, lacing your fingers together as he leads you out into the backyard.

The late afternoon sun sparkles against the water, illuminating everything in a blue-yellow glow. It’s the most captivating sight for miles, you’re sure, until Anton begins to take his shirt off. The way his muscles shift under his unblemished skin rivals the beautiful surface of the lake, sparkling in its own way. His shoulder blades dance across his back enticingly as he leans down to remove his socks and shoes.

He shoots you a smile over his shoulder before cannonballing right into the water.

It takes only a few seconds for the man to reemerge, slicking his honey brown hair off of his forehead. His biceps bulge with the movement before waving you into the water. It’s as clear of a signal as any, but you can’t help but hesitate, suddenly shy at the thought of stripping down to your bikini in the presence of such a man. But the delicate reflection of sunlight in his eyes and the easy smile on his face is enough to draw you in.

Before you know it, you’re discarding your clothes, taking a running head start to join Anton in the water.

Your skin is submerged in an icy chill, the water surprisingly cool for so late in the day. But soon the warmth of another body is nearing, making the cold that much more bearable. You resurface with a giggle, giddy from the feeling of swimming so long. Instantly, Anton is joining in, clearly happy seeing you filled with such glee. 

“Fuck, it’s cold!” You exclaim, shrieking when Anton splashes a bit of water your way. 

“It’ll get better,” Anton grins. “You just gotta keep swimming.”

It’s easy to do as told, letting your body relax as you continue to wade in the cool water. Eventually you let yourself fall into your back, feeling the contrast between the warm sun on your face and the cool water surrounding your body. It’s serene, allowing you to let your worries quite literally float away. However, the feeling of a chilled hand grazing your hip is enough to snap you out of your relaxation, scrambling to right yourself in panic. 

“Sorry!” Anton chuckles. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just getting bored without you.”

“It’s okay,” you soothe, finding that the pace of your heart is beginning to quicken for an entirely different reason. 

Anton looks especially beautiful like this, with his damp hair splayed messily across his head and drops of water dripping down his face. The sun has just begun to set, painting Anton’s skin with a beautiful golden hue. His eyes glisten just like the water, sunlight sparkling as it dances across the reflective surfaces. Like this, Anton seems so bright, so luminous, that hating him seems impossible. 

“I’m really glad you came today,” Anton says, his voice dropping to that soft shy tone he always uses in the presence of others. “I’m glad to have someone who gets what it's like.”

You can’t resist the smile that begins to tug on the corners of your mouth. “You’re not just saying this to get my family’s business secrets?”

Anton huffs out a laugh. “No. I’m saying this because I really like you. I like spending time with you, even though I’m supposed to hate it.”

With every word, you find yourself drifting closer to the man, his hand remaining steady on your hip as you tread lightly. Despite the obvious effort to keep your head above water, you feel like you’re drowning. But the slick feeling of Anton’s skin against yours reminds you that you won’t drown. Anton won’t let you. 

“I like you, too.”

The simple admission has Anton’s face flushing, the pretty rose color glistening orange in the light. It’s beautiful. He’s beautiful. You hate to dull his beauty in this moment, but you have to. 

“But what about our families? It’s not like the two of us can ever be anything.”

Anton sighs, his face dropping with realization. “I know, but…is it crazy to say that I don’t care?”

The hand on your hip tightens, pulling you even closer into Anton’s space. It’s close enough that the two of you end up bumping knees every so often, constantly moving to keep yourselves afloat. Here, in his space, you can see the way that his lashes cast subtle shadows on his cheeks. It’s easy to count the few moles that pepper his face and neck, sitting stark upon unblemished skin. 

When his eyes meet yours, it becomes clear what you wish to do. No, what you need to do. 

“Anton,” you whisper. “What did you mean when you said you had impure intentions?”

The man moves to open his mouth, but before he can get the first syllable out, you cut him off. 

“Don’t tell me,” you coo. “Show me.”

You would be lying if you said you never thought about the feeling of Anton’s plush lips on yours. In reality, you spent too many nights lying awake, thinking about the slick feel of his mouth on yours, of the way his large hands would feel clutching onto your body, of the feel of his soft brown strands underneath your fingertips. 

But dreams never compare to the real thing. 

Nothing could compare to the pure bliss of having Anton’s mouth slide against your own. He moves fervently, letting the kiss carry the twinge of desperation that you both have felt since you’ve met. It’s far from the polite way that you expected Anton Lee to kiss, but that makes it that much better. 

His nose grazes your cheek as he tilts his head, angling himself to kiss you deeper. His tongue is warm as it eases its way into your mouth, the warmth a welcome contrast to the chill of the lake. The hand that was once grasping your hip travels down to your backside and thigh, lifting you up to wrap yourself around his waist. It’s improper, at the very least, but you can’t find it in yourself to care when Anton sighs softly into your mouth. 

It feels like ages before the two of you part, chests heaving where they remain pressed together. You’re so close that you imagine that even water can’t exist between you two. Anton’s abdomen is solid where your core is pressed up against him, supporting your weight so that neither of you are at risk of sinking. 

“That,” Anton whispers, “is what I meant by impure intentions. 

You can’t help but giggle at the boy’s breathless tone, suddenly feeling giddy that you were the one to make him this way. You were the one to fluster the ever-perfect Anton Lee. It was you. It’s always been you. 

“Our parents…” you mutter reflexively, your mind a war zone. 

“Hey,” Anton coos, bringing a hand under your chin. 

With just a gentle tilt, you meet his eyes, instantly getting lost in the way his gaze bores into yours. As if he can’t help himself, Anton leans in to place a quick peck on your lips. When you part, a soft whine escapes your lips, mourning the loss of your lover’s kiss. 

“Y/N, we’ll figure it out. I won’t let this go south because of our parents.”

You nod nervously, trying your hardest to believe in the reassurance that Anton is trying to provide you. As if he could sense the residual nerves, Anton presses his lips against your forehead in a soft kiss. The sensation makes your eyes flutter shut, a content smile beginning to grown on your face. After a brief moment, Anton chuckles. 

“Who knows?” He mutters. “Maybe our parents will get that merger after all.”

.         .         .

[8 years later]

BREAKING NEWS: Lee Enterprises and TOTAL, Inc. have announced a historic merger to form one mega-corporation. This announcement comes one year after CEO and President of Lee Enterprises, Anton Lee, and Chairperson of TOTAL, Inc., Y/N Y/L/N, announced their marriage. The new multinational conglomerate will be known as Lakeside, LLC, and is said to have a current stock value of over five billion dollars.

.FIN.

[plutoasteroids]

PAC How Will Your Future Spouse's Father (Your Father-In-Law) Feel About You.

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

DISCLAIMER: This reading is solely for entertainment purposes only! I am not responsible for any decisions taken based on my readings.

This is a general reading so if nothing resonates don't take it to heart. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't!

ASK BOX is always open

TW: MENTION OF NEGLECT AND ABUS3. IF ITS A TRIGGER FOR YOU AND YOU CONTINUE TO READ ANYWAY PLEASE DON'T BLAME ME ITS YOUR CHOICE!

PILE 1

Your father-in-law would view you as something new and different, you may be the complete opposite of the general type of your FS normally goes for but in a good way because I feel your FS doesn't necessarily have the best track record when it comes to picking their partners. Your father-in-law will quickly approve of you it feels almost like they'll say to your FS 'you made a good choice'.

But at the very beginning they may feel a bit unsure about you specifically because of the way you carry yourself, you could be really shy and not talkative or super confident anyways they just won't be 100% sure about you more so because he doesn't have a clear grasp on your personality or even your intention.

Them being unsure will quickly change and the two of you may have a relationship based on understanding or similar values or opinions. You'll have some sort of mutual understanding that will bring you both closer, in the long run they'll for sure view you as their child maybe even as somewhat of a friend.

Your Father-in-law gives me scholar vibes if not heavy lawyer vibes, lawyer, professor, teacher maybe even a priest.

PILE 2

They will feel somewhat withdrawn from you. I don't think your future father-in-law is involved in your FS' life, as in they are around but they never took an active role, so they won't have much of an opinion on you. It seems like they might see you from a distance like maybe through social media.

But from what they know about you they feel like you're very passionate and enthusiastic about life in general because your life will be pretty well. They feel like you have your life together and they like that.

But there is some sadness here mainly relating to the fact that their child found their life partner and are moving on with life and they can't be a part of that. They might do some introspection to try change and get better, they may even try to slowly enter yours and your FS lives.

It feels like they may have been a dead-beat dad for some of you and for other just emotionally unavailable and maybe slightly abus!ve.

PILE 3

Your father-in-law it seems like they may be aware of your existence in their child's life, but they aren't aware of how significant you are but finding out about your significance in your FS life might be somewhat of a pleasant surprise to him.

He will have a positive opinion on you, feeling like you bring some balance and happiness to your future spouse, and it feels like he won't be too active in your life and that of your fs. Like not absent but giving you two space to be your own people and your own couple, but he'll be there when you need advice, or you need someone to talk to.

I think you may give him a fresh perspective on life, and he'll certainly appreciate your views and your opinions. He seems to eb more on the unconventional side.

Random information: He may pay for your wedding (if you want to get married) just because he wants to and it would make him happy to pitch in financially.

He may not be married to your FS' mother. Like he is married to your FS' stepmother, or their partner isn't the biological parent of your FS. I also get the vibe of it being maybe a same sex marriage.

[aces-parrows]

streaming love | mark lee

pairing: streamer!mark x fem!reader word count: 727 genre: fluff, imagine warning(s): not proofread summary: mark finally admits his feelings for you on stream, assuming that you're not currently watching.

mark sits in front of his makeshift stream set-up in his small apartment. in no way was he a professional nor did he have a large audience. his streams were just for fun, which he started to help y/n socialize more and have fun. his streams mainly consist of him conversing with his small audience, but he does sometimes play guitar for them or spend the stream discussing fun topics together. his audience jokingly ships the two of you together, as it's not uncommon for new viewers to assume you're a couple. he regularly sees comments such as "where's your girlfriend?" or "how's y/n?" when you aren't a part of the stream, which melts his heart. he adores knowing how much his viewers love you, especially when it's you with him.

no one in mark's life knows of his feelings for you. it's a secret he's kept for years, ever since you both graduated college together. no matter how much he tried to confess his feelings for you, the courage was never found, leaving him to sit back and watch you go out on dates and console you if you got your heart broken. he always told himself one day he will be the one to show you true love, and for years he couldn't find the right moment to do it.

finally, he accepted he needed advice.

in a late night stream, mark attempted to be vague when explaining his situation. however, his audience was not easily fooled, immediately realizing he was talking about you. it was embarrassing at first, but after some reassurance that they were supportive, he had felt a bit more at ease. as the chat flooded with encouragement, he felt more comfortable to explain his feelings for you. "i don't know man," mark said as he couldn't make eye contact with the camera, "i want to make it special, you know? it's what she deserves." as he watched the chat, one of his viewers had inquired as to why he hadn't already told you how he felt. "sometimes, i don't feel like a girl like her would be into someone like me. it probably sounds stupid, but you guys don't even know a quarter of all the things that make y/n so special." mark checked the chat to be sure you weren't watching. he had assumed you would be asleep by now, meaning that the chances of you catching this stream was slim, especially since he planned to delete the stream right after. the late night rain gently tapped his window outside, adding to his dropping mood as he wondered if he was even good enough for you. "she's the most important person in my life and i'm so damn tired of guys breaking her heart, you know? i want to show her true love, but how can i do that if i can't even be honest about my feelings? like, do i give her chocolate, flowers, or just go for it? like what makes a confession special?" mark looked over all of the chat's advice, opinions, encouragement, and overall support. he truly felt he had connected to his audience in this moment. he had found his people, who not only loved his content, but him as a person. and you as well.

he continued to pour his heart out, talking about his favorite memories with you and how much he adored you.

mark did not know that the whole time, you had been watching the stream. it was one of your sleepless nights, so you decided to catch mark's stream just as he had began pouring his heart out to his viewers. your heartbeat was the fastest it had ever been and you couldn't wipe the grin off your face. it all felt like a dream, but it wasn't.

admittedly, you had liked mark for a few months but never had the courage to confess either. you dated other men to try and forget him, but they just weren't mark, so, they never went anywhere.

as mark concluded his stream to head to bed, you knew you couldn't lose this beautiful moment. ever. so, you shoot him a text.

"hey, saw your stream. please don't delete the stream, i never want to forget the words you said. by the way, i'll accept those chocolates. let's talk tomorrow, okay?"

[st0rmyskies]

What Your Favorite Link Says About You

A.k.a. The Links as tarot cards/your rising sign/your blood type.

Time

You're likely an older Zelda fan. Ibuprofen has become a food group for you. Anyone who thinks OoT isn't the greatest Zelda game has you clutching your pearls and tutting. Kids these days don't know how good they have it.

You are a person to whom young people come for advice, either in your career or in life in general. You're happy to give it, especially because you love to help, but on the inside you're silently screaming, What?? Why me???

You may have trouble sleeping through the night. Even if it's not every night, there are some where you just can't turn your brain off and worries or worst-case scenarios just keep playing and replaying ad nauseaum.

You enjoy time in solitude to appreciate the beauty of nature. I bet you know how to braid a mean daisy crown.

“The flow of time is always cruel...” - Some event in your life took your innocence from you, perhaps much too early. You grew up quickly because of it.

Legend

Either you had a crush on the emo kid in high school or you were the emo kid in high school.

You might be jaded by the world, but you still have a solid work ethic and a soft heart despite it all. Even if you hide it all beneath a healthy layer of sass.

You possess a multitude of skills, not all of which are related. Anytime a friend needs a piece of clothing mended or a picture frame hung on the wall or a leak in a faucet addressed, you have the tools and the willingness to help.

Either you have a history of moving frequently when you were young, or you have a restless spirit. You may never quite feel 'at home' in any given place.

"But, verily, it be the nature of dreams to end." - You’ve suffered a meaningful loss in your life and you have a hard time opening up again because of it. 

Hyrule

You root for the underdog, or perhaps you are the underdog. Any of those "against all odds" stories just hit you square in the chest.

Somewhat quiet by nature, you do vital work behind the scenes but you aren't the type to seek out a leadership position. Leave the limelight to somebody else, please.

You might sell yourself short when it comes to your skills and abilities, but you should believe in yourself, man! You can do it!!

You have a capricious streak in you that rears its head now and again. That smile can look sharp and devilish in the right light.

"It's dangerous to go alone!" - You either already have or are destined to find 'that one person' with whom you can open up and truly be yourself. 

Twilight

I'm willing to put money on the fact that Twilight Princess was your first Zelda game.

You have a strong sense of justice and get really bent out of shape when you encounter unfairness or flaw in the system, whatever that may be. You might be considered an outsider in some way because of this.

You're the friend who scoops spiders up in a cup and sets them outside. Live and let live.

You were the 'wolf kid' in middle school. Come on, those amazing tie dye shirts? Wolf Woman? Julie of the Wolves?? Even if you kept it inside, it was there in some way.

"Your current power would disgrace the proud green of the hero's tunic you wear." - You put a lot of stock in the opinions of others and hold yourself to a higher standard because of it. Sometimes that standard isn't achievable, though, so try to be kind to yourself. 

Sky

You, my friend, have a soft heart. You're generally a happy-go-lucky sort of person. You're likely to make excuses for those who've been mean to you in the past and come out as friends on the other side.

You're crafty, or at the very least good with your hands. You're the type to give someone a handmade gift rather than go buy something for them for their birthday, a holiday, etc.

You have a strong affinity for your friends. If anything bad were to happen to them, you'd turn violent at the drop of a hat.

You may have some level of chronic illness that affects you. Although you might do things in a different way or at your own pace, though, you still come out on top.

"You fight like no man or demon I have ever known." - You have the capability for great things. World-changing sorts of things. Don't give up!

Wild

You're some flavor of neurodivergent, if I had to guess I'd say ADHD. You have 42 tabs open in your brain at any given time and you have no idea which one the music is coming from.

You're an incredibly creative person, although you might have trouble finishing tasks/works-in-progress. Doesn't mean you didn't learn something along the way!

Rigid guidelines or deadlines stress you out. You'd rather be given a goal and decide for yourself when and how to get there. When you do have a deadline, you're a bit of a procrastinator.

Sometimes you don’t get the 'right' way to do things, but you carve your own path--although sometimes it's unorthodox--and get there in your own time.

"Courage need not be remembered, for it is never forgotten." - In spite of how your life changes you, for better or for worse, you have a driving inspiration or ethic or vocation that moves you forward at all costs.

Warriors

Those who don't know you well tend to boil you down to one or two trite traits. In reality, you contain multitudes. Most people couldn't handle all of you, not that they deserve to know even part of you.

You tend to lay it on thick--be that your charm, attitude, or whatever else your social shield might be--because you're hiding some deeper secret or insecurity at your core.

You're the mom friend or the planner in your group, or perhaps you're the oldest child. You’ll pass on an authority role if and when you can, but likely you’re still involved in some supervisory capacity in a given situation. 

You kill spiders with fire. Show NO mercy.

"You dare raise the blade of evil's bane to me? So be it. Hyrule's blood will be on your hands." - You have strong convictions and you aren't afraid to take risks, major risks, to do what you know to be right.

Four

Babe, if you ain't short, you've got short person energy. You scare me a little bit tbh.

You were praised for not being a problem child growing up, or for being very responsible at a young age.

You have a vivid imagination! You may have had an imaginary friend as a child or lived in your own little world altogether. I bet your notebook pages were strewn with little doodles in school.

You're a lover of information. If you could choose between an afternoon at the library or a movie matinee, it would be the former.

"Hanging around with you fools is dangerous for my health." - You're the snark friend, aren't you.  

Wind

You are extroverted to a fault. You need the company of others to recharge that social battery. The quintessential golden retriever friend.

You had active involvement in the music and theatre department. I'd be surprised if you weren't in at least one show in high school.

Having adventures is where it's at! You're a big fan of travel, either cross-country road trips or international flights. You could happily live out of a suitcase.

You tend to make friends easily wherever you go. If everyone in this classroom/workplace/bar doesn't know your name already, they will pretty quick.

"I have been waiting for you, boy... Do not betray my expectations.” - Against all odds, you've proven yourself to be worthy of great things. Screw what fate has in store! You're the type to take your own destiny by the 'nads.

[anistarrose]

I want to make my posts more accessible, but can't write IDs myself: a guide

[Plain text: "I want to make my posts more accessible, but can't write IDs myself: a guide." End plain text.]

While every image posted online should be accessible in an ideal world, we all know it 1) takes time to learn how to write image descriptions, and 2) is easy to run out of spoons with which to write IDs. And this says nothing of disabilities that make writing them more challenging, if not impossible — especially if you're a person who benefits from IDs yourself.

There are resources for learning how to write them (and if you already know the basics, I'd like to highlight this good advice for avoiding burnout) — but for anyone who cannot write IDs on their original posts at any current or future moment, for any reason, the there are two good options for posting on Tumblr.

1. Crowdsource IDs through the People's Accessibility Discord

[Plain text: "1. Crowdsource IDs through the People's Accessibility Discord". End plain text.]

The People's Accessibility Discord is a community that volunteers description-writing (and transcript-writing, translation, etc) for people who can't do so themselves, or feel overwhelmed trying to do so. Invite link here (please let me know if the link breaks!)

The way it works is simple: if you're planning to make an original post — posting art, for example — and don't know how to describe it, you can share the image there first with a request for a description, and someone will likely be able to volunteer one.

The clear upside here (other than being able to get multiple people's input, which is also nice) is that you can do this before making the Tumblr post. By having the description to include in your post from the start, you can guarantee that no inaccessible version of the post will be circulated.

You can also get opinions on whether a post needs to be tagged for flashing or eyestrain — just be able to spoiler tag the image or gif you're posting, if you think it might be a concern. (Also, refer here for info on how to word those tags.)

The server is very chill and focused on helping/answering questions, but if social anxiety is too much of a barrier to joining, or you can't use Discord for whatever reason, then you can instead do the following:

2. Ask for help on Tumblr, and update the post afterwards

[Plain text: "Ask for help on Tumblr, and update the post afterwards". End description.]

Myself and a lot of other people who describe posts on this site are extra happy to provide a description if OP asks for help with one! This does leave the post inaccessible at first, so to minimize the drawbacks, the best procedure for posting an image you can't fully describe would be as follows:

Create the tumblr post with the most bare-bones description you can manage, no matter how simple (something like "ID: fanart of X character from Y. End ID" or "ID: a watercolor painting. End ID," or literally whatever you can manage)

Use a tool like Google Lens or OCR to extract text if applicable and if you have the energy, even if the text isn't a full image description (ideally also double-check the transcriptions, because they're not always perfect)

Write in the body of the post that you'd appreciate a more detailed description in the notes!

Tag the post as "undescribed" and/or "no id" only if you feel your current, bare-bones description is missing out on a lot of important context

When you post it and someone provides an ID, edit the ID into the original post (don't use read mores, italics, or small text)

Remove the undescribed tag, if applicable. If you're posting original art, you can even replace it with a tag like "accessible art" for visibility!

And congrats! You now have a described post that more people will be able to appreciate, and you should certainly feel free to self-reblog to give a boost to the new version!

[stellarsagittarius]

🌜Moon In Synastry - What makes you emotionally invested in them🌛

[P.s. Please follow me on Instagram! @/Stellar_Sagittarius I post even more astrology content on it and it's a business I'm trying to grow. Your presence means a lot to me ❤️.]

Masterlist: All my astrology posts at one place

‼️Paid readings are OPEN‼️

~~~

Moon in 1st House

-There will be shyness from the Moon person due to them feeling super heard and seen by the House person.

-House person will understand who the Moon person is better than anyone else.

-Moon will feel super emotional and vulnerable, as though they found their "tribe".

-House person will feel protective and super caring towards the Moon person's emotions and thoughts.

-Both will be each other's lending ear and a lending shoulder.

-The House person will see the Moon person as someone full of depth, emotional and a mystery to them.

-In conflicted relationships, the Moon will feel like the House person isn't trustworthy or they will think that the house person judges their opinions/who they are a lot.

Moon in the 2nd House

-This is like a "mother-child" bond.

-House person will be super inclined towards making sure the house person's physical and material needs are met.

-In healthy relationships, the Moon native will feel like the House person is super nuturing.

-In unhealthy dynamics, this can become super codependent, where both parties will feel a need to provide for each other constantly, which will lead to neglect of one's own needs or to the either parties becoming selfish.

-Expect the classic questions such as, "Did you eat?" or "Did you sleep well?" or "Do you need money?".

-This is a very materially focused aspect where the House person will feel a sense of responsibility towards the Moon person.

-The Moon native will also feel super nurturing towards the House person.

Moon in the 3rd House

-The Moon person will feel a sense of fascination with how the house person's mind works.

-Expect long conversations in the manner of whatever the sign Moon/3rd House is in. Ex, Scorpio Moon -> a lot of secrets and deep talks, Capricorn Moon -> less talkative and more actions.

-The House person will be especially more expressive of their ideas towards the Moon person.

-Both will be a great lending ear to each other, and will give each other a lot of advices.

-The House person will be ranting, venting, speaking up, expressing whatever they feel without any sense of "judgements" to the Moon person.

-This is the type of relationship where couples talk for hours on the phone.

-If there is any issue that needs to be resolved on the Moon person's side, this will be done through a lot of talking which may turn into debates and arguments.

Moon in the 4th House

-Moon will feel a sense of closeness and intimacy with the house person.

-They will be the couple who discuss things in private and want to make sure that the other person feels safe to open up.

-This creates a very private relationship.

-The Moon person opens up their deepest needs and wants to the house person. They feel extremely vulnerable and feel like the house person sees their shy/introverted side.

-The house person feels protective over the Moon person. They want to make sure that the Moon person is feeling safe and secure enough to open up.

-This placement creates a very deep attachment between the couple.

-Moon person will confide and share their secrets with only the House person. They will see the House person as a comfortable space.

-Moon consider the House person as their home.

-In immature relationships it can create clingy energy.

Moon in the 5th House

-The Moon person will feel like they found their inner child in the presence of the House person.

-This is one of the most romantic house placements because it gives a sense of playfulness, youthful energy, pleasure, etc.

-The Moon person will never feel bored around the House person, but in unhealthy relationships, the Moon might feel like they are not being taken seriously by the House person.

-The House person feels a sense of excitement which make these two go on frequent dates, adventures, and do plenty of romantic stuff together.

-It's like the perfect example of a teenage/high school romance.

-Things are never too serious for both of them, since this is a very lighthearted aspect that creates a playful/flirtatious energy.

-Moon person will feel like the House person lights up their fun loving side and they want to make a lot of good memories with them.

-These two are very open with each other, whether it's PDA or openly flirting.

Moon in the 6th House

-The Moon person will feel like they are a regular part of the House person's life. The House person is someone committed to their goals and work.

-The Moon person is around them almost all the time. Moon wants to make sure if the House person is doing well, eating well or sleeping well.

-There is a sense of physical comfort that the Moon person wishes to offer to the House person.

-This makes both people receptive to giving and taking from each other. But in unhealthy dynamics, both might become overbearing of each other and neglect their own needs/wants.

-The House person sees the Moon as someone who is present in their life for a long time and they get to learn a lot about productivity and setting healthy habits from the Moon person.

-The House person may become lazier than usual in Moon's presence. Or they might find it easier to shrug the duties and relax.

Moon in the 7th House

-The Moon person feels like they found their perfect other half.

-Moon in the 7th house signifies a sense of devotion to the people you love. So the House person feels extremely devoted towards the Moon person.

-The House person has sort of a special spot for the Moon person because they understand each other as "the other half". They compliment each other's personality.

-There is a special connection or a spark between these two that creates a mutual trust and understanding of what the other person might be feeling.

-House person will feel the Moon person naturally understands and meet all their criteria of an "ideal type".

-This is like the perfect couple aspect, because 7th house is literally about relationships/love. And Moon rules our emotions. So there is a mutual understanding and care for each other.

-This is a "soulmates" aspect, because it creates harmony in the relationship. If this couple ever broke up, this relationship might be quite unforgettable!

Moon in the 8th House

-The 8th house is all about the bonds we share with other people, whether it's emotional, physical, mental or even spiritual.

-The connection here will feel extremely deep, because it will bind the Moon and House person together. It will cause them to be tangled in each other's lives.

-The Moon person might feel extremely obsessed with the House person. They will be on this roller coaster ride with the House person. Something that is so addicting.

-In immature relationships both will circle back into each other's lives all the time because there will be a sense of "unfinished business", until one of them has enough self-control to cut off all contact. In healthy relationships though, both of them will constantly be seeking each other's presence.

-This is addicting because both of them will experience the depth the resides in each other.

-Both the Moon and the House person will seek to be present in each other's lives all the time, as if, "their business is my business."

Moon in the 9th House

-This is an aspect categorized by the Moon native's desire for adventure and constant learning.

-The Moon native will feel like their mind expands around the House person. The energy that the House person holds, allows Moon to become wiser, more philosophical and more adventurous.

-There is fascination from the House person's part where they seek to understand how the Moon person's theories on life are.

-This creates almost a teacher student dynamic, where the Moon person is the student and the House person is the teacher.

-This aspect creates a relationship that is full of learning, travel, adventure and growth.

-The Moon person sees the House person as a wise soul who is naturally curious about life.

-Both seek to learn from each other's experiences in life.

-In unhealthy relationships this might look like both of them are stubborn on their beliefs, and are unwilling to see the bigger picture.

Moon in 10th House

-The Moon native will be interested in the public affairs of the House person. And their relationship will be almost seen as "perfect".

-There could be affairs involved in this relationship that might "come out" to the public life of both people unexpectedly.

-The Moon person is an important player in the House person's public image. Both of them might make the other one popular in some way.

-The Moon person will feel accepted by the social group/people around the House person.

-They will appear as a pleasant couple, and will play an important role in advancing each other's careers.

-There is a shared mission involved related to work/career. Both might have the same job or end up creating a business together. They might even gain plenty of fame together.

-This is not a super romantic placement, but it does make a stable/business oriented partnership.

Moon in the 11th House

-This is a super fun placement to have since 11th house is all about hopes, goals, friendships, communities. So the Moon person will feel naturally accepted by the House person.

-This relationship has an element of friendship in it. Both parties see each other as someone supportive.

-The Moon person seeks to fit in with the social network of the 11th house person. They feel drawn to being a part of their friend circle. There is a desire to be seen by others that are networks of the House person.

-The House person sees the Moon person as someone who can help them achieve/gain perhaps fame or things related to their career.

-Both might build each other's networks and introduce each other to important people that can level up their careers.

-The Moon person will be very involved/invested in the House person's social life/friends.

Moon in the 12th House

-This is the house of isolation, spirituality, undoings, the mental plane, astral plane, dreams, etc.

-The Moon person will feel like they are on a roller coaster ride with the House person because there is an air of mystery and the subtle way the House person makes the Moon wonder about what goes on in their mind.

-Moon will feel super emotionally involved with the House's person's "undefined", "hidden" side.

-Moon will feel subconsciously attracted to the 12th House person. There will be very hints that will lead to this attraction between them, and often times both will define it as, "unexplainable".

-Both will share almost a telepathic connection.

-There will be an air of, "I have always known you." This is not necessarily romantic, because this house has karma attached to it.

-This might make the House person feel like the Moon naturally gets the things they aren't able to say so easily.

-The House person will experience a good sleep around the Moon's presence, if the House person is someone who suffers from insomnia.

-Both will heighten each other's intuitive senses.

Follow for more Astrology content ✈️✨️

[hermetiqa]

When and where will you meet your twin flame?

Reminder: it doesn't matter if you saw this reading a day or a week or a month or a year after posting this. My readings are timeless. You'll see this when you're meant to see this and receive your message.

MDNI.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath before picking a pile. If you feel drawn to more than one pile, it's alright, you may take the piles that you're drawn to. What's important is to take it how it resonates and leave what doesn't.

PAID READINGS | TIP JAR | FEEDBACK | MASTERLIST

PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN

NOTE: Please feel free to give me a feedback on my asks about the reading! I would highly appreciate it and it'll be a huge help for me to improve as a reader.

Pile 1

I feel like you'll meet your twin flame when you already let go of your karmic relationship. You might be in a karmic relationship right now and it's toxic but it's a healthy relationship in disguise. So it could be near. But if you're not, then you might go through a karmic relationship first before meeting your twin flame. It's like your partner is telling you that they'll change when in reality, they don't and won't. This relationship is causing you so much anxiety and sleepless nights, and right now, you don't know what to do. You're confused about which path to take, whether you should break up with them or not because you're seeing so much potential in this relationship. But in reality, you're just too focused on this relationship that you don't see other relationships that you have, which is why you don't realize it's actually toxic and they're not the one for you. You have to let this relationship go first before meeting your twin flame. You might meet your twin flame in your workplace or someplace formal or a café/place you can eat near your workplace where you're wearing a blouse, trousers, heels, and blouse. I'm seeing a white long sleeves blouse, light brown trousers, light brown blazer that matches the trousers, black heels/shoes, black thin belt, and black handbag. I'm getting strong feminine energy from you so you might be the divine feminine. When you meet, it'll be too fast and too intense. You might have some disagreements when it comes to your opinions on some things, simply because you want to challenge each other, especially on an intellectual level. You'll both be intellectually inclined and connected deeply and you'll both feel like you're the one for each other when you meet. You'll need some strength on this one because your insecurities and dark sides will come out and you'll have to face them eventually.

Pile 2

As I was about to do this reading for you, Pile 2, I accidentally said "need" instead of "meet" and then there it hits me. I feel like you'll meet your twin flame in times of need. This is when you have to take the risk in making decisions. You'll be in a situation where the whole situation depends on your decision. My phone just automatically switches to dark mode so you might meet them at night. I'm seeing a bar where you might be drinking a lot because you're really stressed and frustrated and don't know what to do. You can't make a decision. You can't think straight. Then your twin flame will suddenly just come up and approach you and ask you if you're okay because apparently, they've been noticing you for quite a while in that bar. I feel like you might or might not be into alcohol right now, but if you're not, the time will come that you'll be influenced by people to be into alcohol and you might need to drink on some occasions. I feel like your twin flame will lend you some ear so you can talk about what's bothering you, which I feel like it could be related to your family, and then you'll refuse. But eventually, you'll open up to your twin flame because their presence is comforting already. Your twin flame will give you some advice and words that you really need to hear. There's this sudden strike of curiosity when you meet. You'll be interested in each other so much that you don't want the night to end. You might end up coming home to either of your own place, and you might do something sexual there because the attraction will be so strong that you might not be able to control it. Then the rest is history.

Pile 3

I feel like you're going to meet your twin flame when you feel like your life is falling apart and you want to start over. You might be moving out to your new place and you'll encounter them in the streets, specifically in front of a university or a church. I'm seeing that you might be carrying a huge box that contains your stuff, especially the ones that you use for work or studies (if you're still studying, specifically at university, taking master's). It'll be a sunny day and this could be during summertime because I'm seeing so much sweat here and they're holding a huge cup of iced coffee. You'll catch their attention because you'll walk past by each other and their eyes will follow you walk past them. I feel like they'll have the courage to approach you, talk to you, and ask you if you need some help. I feel like they'll do this in a good timing too, they'll try to "empathize" with you, they'll do their best to feel what you're feeling at the moment before approaching you because they're scared that you might take it negatively and just turn them down. I feel like your twin flame could be a professor at a university and there's a significant age gap between you, at least 5-6 years. When you meet your twin flame, you might decline their offer to help because you're confident that you can do it on your own. So they'll walk away and accept your decision, but eventually they'll come back and act like they're just heading out to grab some food. Then they'll see you there. But in reality, this is actually their way of approaching you again because they've been overthinking about your encounter and they're bothered that you didn't get to know each other, and they're really interested in you. So they thought of pretending to grab some food and walked your way on purpose, when in fact, the food they'll be grabbing is on the other street. You might notice this and realize eventually that they're doing this for you. You just have the "feeling" that they are so you accepted their offer this time.

[mysticheathenn]

Messages From The Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is all about messages from things that you should not be caring or giving a f*ck about. This could be you having the fear of being seen. What does the world think of you at the gym? Basically, petty things that stop you from living your life.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

MasterList

Patreon Link

Pile l:

What should you not give a f*uck about? Tarot: 8 of Cups, 7 of Wands (reversed), Awakening, 9 of Cups, The High Priestess

The opinions of others concerning any and everything you do. You are meant to shine and show up as your most authentic self pile l. You do not need anyone's permission, advice, or even guidance on knowing who you are or what you should do with your life especially if these people are doing the exact opposite of what they try to preach to you. For some of you, I am getting that there is a family member or even just family in general who likes to dictate everything that you do and who you are. While I can't tell you what to do and can only provide you guidance for your situation, please ask yourself are these people happy? Do they ask anyone what they should do with their life and who they should be? Are they paying any bill of yours or financially supporting you? If you have answered no to any of these questions, my suggestion and only suggestion and opinion is to stop paying attention to anything that comes out of their mouth when it regards to you. I have a story for you once upon a time a little mystic heathen had parents and family who would dictate and tell little heathen what to do up until it got time to actually put their money where their mouth was and would back out while telling little heathen still what to do. Little heathen wanted to major in English while her parents medicine or computer science. It wasn't until little heathen saw that no one was paying the bills but herself that the only opinion that mattered with what she majored in, where to move, what career, and who I should be friends with was the opinion of her own. She broke free and stopped giving a dam because once you give someone the power to mold and control you it never stops. Unless the opinion from others saw red flags that I did not see everyone's opinion or suggestions could fuck off. Again this is all a suggestion and my opinion as you're an adult and can make your decisions for yourself but if you have been looking for a sign as to what you should do, this is it. Be free and release yourself from the holds of others that hold you at a standstill or make you unhappy.

Pile ll:

What should you not give a f*uck about? Tarot: 10 of Pentacles (Reversed), 2 of Cups, Queen of Cups, 5 of Swords (reversed), Knight of Cups, Queen of Wands (reversed)

Validation from romantic partnerships. I get the strong feeling from this pile that you love to watch and read future spouse pick-a-card readings. No matter the topic of love when it comes to tarot you are there waiting to see what it has in store for you. It is also similar to how you are in a relationship. You see the validation from your partners that you are good enough. Some of you might even have a small bit of pick-me energy. Whenever your partner says jump you don't ask how high you keep jumping and ask them if this is good enough and if it's not you keep jumping higher until they are satisfied not realizing that you, darling, are the prize. People should be jumping through hoops for you and not the other way around unless the energy is being reciprocated but I need you to understand that you are powerful just you alone without the opinion or approval of a love interest. You don't need anyone by your side at all. I know you're thinking I know I don't need anyone but I want someone...do you know pile ll. Do you really know that you don't need anyone? You are the Queen of Wands and the Queen of cups pile ll, you turn a house into a home, food into a cooked meal, etc. Anything someone gives you, you multiply it and tax interest and you are out here answering questions like "What do you bring to the table?" as if you aren't the table, the napkins, silverware, plates, and whole packaged deal. See yourself through the lens of a goddess/god. You are powerful, start acting like it, and stop putting yourself through hoops for someone who wouldn't do the same or doesn't even wash their own ass not knowing their shit stinks, they are no one special.

Pile lll:

What should you not give a f*uck about? Tarot: 2 of Cups, 3 of Swords, 6 of Cups, 6 of Pentacles, The Wheel

Pile lll you may have also been slightly drawn to pile ll as both your piles kind of go hand in hand. Pile ll is all about validation from being in a romantic relationship while yours is simply you acting as if being single is the worst thing in the world. As mentioned in Pile ll you probably watch and read a lot of love and Future Spouse pick-a-card readings because you have a hard time being by yourself. If not pick a card readings you read a lot of romance novels. Your favorite authors are probably Emily Henry, Ana Huang, Ali Hazelwood, Lauren Asher, Elsie Silver, etc. You watch as others around you fall in and out of love and you want that for yourself. If romance was oxygen you would die the moment you're not with someone within .5 seconds and I need you to release the need for romance just for a split second. Enjoy singlehood and realize that not everything is about love. There is more to life than being in a partnership with someone. You may not think that but have you tried and I mean really tried to enjoy being single? Travel to other places, dining out alone, watching a movie all without someone constantly talking or ruining the moment with spoilers. This message is only for a small few of you as it is very specific but you need to leave your ex alone. Stop thinking, dreaming, looking at their social media, or even reaching out to them. What's done is done...don't let someone tell you they don't want you more than once. This also goes out to those who are in situationships wanting a relationship from their person. They are telling you with their actions for some time now that they don't like you they just want you for your body and the things you can do for them. You are a placeholder until they find that person they want a commitment from. That was a specific message for those who resonated with the message but to continue on with the general reading love is beautiful, kind, and sweet, but it's not the end of the world if you don't have someone by your side. You are free to live life beautifully without someone else there to witness it. You remind me of the era when everyone would always post that they were going to the gym on Facebook and the meme was "If you don't post that you're at the gym, did you even go." If you have fun without someone being there with you to also have fun...did it even happen. Yes...yes it did pile lll. One day you will find a beautiful and harmonious relationship but until then enjoy singlehood. Also, give the love readings a break. Go outside and touch the grass for 30 mins everything will be fine.

Pile lV:

What should you not give a f*uck about? Tarot: 3 of words, The emperor, Ace of Swords (reversed), Page of Swords (reversed), The Empress (reversed)

Pile lV You are my only pile where I have to tell you to give a f*ck about something. You've been through heartache, after heartache, and loss to the point you have closed off your heart to the world because of how many times you have been hurt. This is leading you down a path where sometimes you can't focus or make the best decision because you have closed off your heart to the world or even love in general that anything where you need to involve feelings, showing a small bit of compassion, or even empathy goes out the window. Sometimes even logic goes out the window because you are so strung on not getting yourself tangled up in anything where it could lead to heartache or betrayal. For most of you I am getting this is a relationship or several might I add. While others of you probably had a shining light. You were a lighthouse pouring your beautiful light, energy, and guidance out onto the world for others to take advantage of you and make you cold, aggressive, or deemed in the eyes of a few, an asshole. I need to remind you that it is okay to open your heart to others or even love again Pile lV. I get it, it's scary thinking about the chances of being hurt again but I have to remind you that, this is part of life. You get knocked down and you get back up again but don't harden yourself off to the world. Not when the world needs so much kindness and love right now. There is already so much hate and lack of compassion in this world, open yourself up again even if it is for a little bit or for certain situations. The things that happened to you weren't meant to harden you up but to teach you lessons about boundaries and having self-respect and love for yourself. Instead, you hardened up instead of doing the work that is necessary to establish standards and boundaries for yourself. Do the work. Open yourself up again. The world needs your kind and gentle heart the way it was always intended.

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

[needle-thread-thimble-spear]

RGU and the Transfeminine, Part 1

OR

Why Miki Kaoru is an Egg

Fig. 1: The Sunlit Garden

When I’d first watched through Revolutionary Girl Utena, Miki Kaoru was initially one of the characters I had the hardest time figuring out. Unlike the other poisoned sibling relationships in the show, Miki and Kozue’s didn’t really make much sense to me. I couldn’t decide how I felt about the character, whether he was “better” somehow than Touga, Saionji, or Akio, or if he was “just as bad”. And of course. What the hell is with that damn stopwatch dude??* Looking at fan writings afterward just deepened the confusion. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on what’s going on with Miki. It’s only after much re-watching, and introspection, that I think I’ve figured out why I’m so conflicted about the character. I’d like to share why- and hopefully along the way I can at least show that Miki is more interesting than many give him credit for. Click the readmore if you please!

(And, to be clear, what is written below is a reading, a blend of evidence from the text, from the subtext, and my own personal experience. I do not claim to be the first to interpret the character this way nor do I claim that this is the definitive read of the character. Nonetheless, I hope I can make my case to you!)

and, a big thank you to @empty-movement for collating all the high quality screengrabs and scans in this post!

Fig 2: Rookie Princes

While I’m not the first to notice, I think it’s frequently overlooked just how similar Utena and Miki are in the first arc. It’s definitely something that flies over the heads of many first-time viewers. But Miki and Utena, are extremely alike! Of course, they are both motivated by an unattainable image of the past, and Miki’s early episodes codify the “sunlit garden” into the RGU symbolic environment. But it’s more than just this. Utena and Miki both treat Anthy in basically the same way. Utena has an easy time convincing Miki that the dueling game is objectifying nonsense. That the principled thing is to leave the whole exercise behind and treat Anthy like a person. It isn’t very hard for Miki to convince Utena to duel him for her hand either. They both view themselves as her personal protector, and (while maybe at different times), both project their imagination of what she must be thinking onto her. Utena does a bit more than Miki to try and figure Anthy out, but it doesn’t take much for her to get swept up in her own image of prince. In both their minds, Anthy needs them to save her. And, when Anthy looks them in the eyes, and tells them. I’m not yours. It destroys them. Freezes them in their tracks, breaks their hearts. Screaming, its a lie, you can’t mean that! Of course they get along so well! They see themselves in one another, plain as day. Little rival princelings, seeking the affections of the same princess, but always with chivalry and good intention.

Fig 3: Heartbreak

But I think there is more to it than that! Miki and Utena (and later Nanami) are some of the youngest duelists (at least, without a black rose anyway). And, they have fairly similar relationships to the other members of the student council. Juri acts as an older friend, mentor, and source of advice for both of them. Its not unlikely that she sees her younger self in the two of them, and while she does very directly take this out on Utena, its her sword that Utena takes to her second duel with Touga. Indeed, Touga manipulates Miki and Utena in unsubtle and sexually aggressive ways, as compared to how he might treat Saionji or Juri. And for both, its their relationship to gender that he directly attacks. He attempts to break Utena’s spirit by turning her “back into a normal girl”, and for Miki he seems to challenge his masculinity. And while this may seem as though the two of them are being shoved in opposite directions, in both cases, Touga hits them in the same place. “You’re a prince then? I don’t think so. Unless you prove it”. Touga isn’t the only one to question Miki’s ability or status. Utena and Juri both tell Miki. You are much more suited to playing piano than dueling. The main difference here is that they tell him this with genuine compassion, but the implication is the same. You aren’t suited to this prince thing. Give it up.

I don’t think it’s just the audience who is conflicted slotting in Miki with the other “men”.

Fig 4: Strange Friends

Much ink has been spilled on Miki and Kozue’s relationship, but I do think there is one thing consistent across readings. There is a power struggle going on between them, and they’ve both got something to hold over the others head. Personally, I don’t believe there is any attraction between them. Rather, What’s Going On With Those Two is their mismatch in understanding their sexuality and the RGU concept of “Reality”, and the friction that creates in their image of themselves and one another. That reading may go as follows. Miki sees Kozue as acting dangerously and immorally. In his mind, she is his responsibility, to keep out of trouble at the very least. Perhaps he sees himself as needing to step in for their absent parents. So he sees himself as the mature and grounded one, a father figure needing to keep the both of them on the straight and narrow. Kozue on the other hand, sees Miki as being essentially blind to Reality (with a capital R). She believes he doesn’t have a good grasp of what sex is, or what adult relationships look like. She may believe that she understands what happened with their parents much better than Miki, and clearly sees that her brother is in danger with his creepy music teacher. So she sees herself as the mature and grounded one, needing to protect her brother both by warding off people who would take advantage of him and by getting him to grow up and see things as they Really are. Without their parents, they feel the need to take care of one another and control how the other approaches their sexuality. But in the end, it does seem that Kozue is the one who is better able to manipulate Miki’s behavior, helping Akio convince him to duel a second time. That Miki needs to grow up and accept what he wants. He sees a vision of Anthy, and he’s driving the akiomobile. And, with fearful realization, he discovers the identity of End of the World.

Fig 5: Fear

So then. Why should Miki be so hung up about his sexuality? It clearly makes him very uncomfortable. And why does he compare the sister he had in the past onto the one he has in the present? What’s so special about that sunlit garden, anyway? What is Miki Kaoru’s shining thing?

Let me spin a yarn, if you'll indulge me-

As far as Miki remembers it, when he was little things were perfect. His parents were still there, and he and his twin sister were thick as thieves. They would play piano together, and drink milkshakes. Things were simple and happy as far as he’s concerned, and while his childhood was not nearly as rosy as he remembers, it was certainly better than whatever he has to deal with now. Now his parents are gone for reasons he doesn’t quite understand, and his sister has drifted away from him and acts promiscuously. His body is starting to change, and it fills him with disgust. Worse still, he finds himself envying his sister for some reason. It all floods him with shame. He needs to fight those feeling with everything he has. Being very clever for his age, he finds himself the youngest member of the student council. He becomes involved with the dueling game as it is revealed to him, and goes along with it, not wanting to act out of place. He gets a crush on Anthy, and is unable to figure out what the hell he should do about it. Later, he meets Utena, and the two become fast friends. And how lucky, his new friend is roommates with his crush! She’s just so perfect. She’s kind, and quiet, and chaste, not at all like his sister. He feels a kinship with her. And in an act of cosmic fate- she plays for him his favorite childhood arrangement. It’s just as Touga says. He can’t let the world get to her, the way its getting to his sister. The way its getting to him. He needs to make sure that Anthy, and his memories, are safe. But alas- it seems she doesn’t feel the same way. She’d rather be with Utena. Hopefully, Utena can protect her where he cannot. Miki and Utena go back to being friends, and he nurses his hurt feelings privately. It wouldn't do to make a scene about it, and besides, it wasn’t appropriate for him to think of her like that anyway. Thinking about anyone like that. He can’t help but feel disgusted with himself for allowing it. Later, his relationship with his sister continues to deteriorate, and his father is remarrying. But he can stick by his principles, and stay out of it all, the dueling especially. Kozue, Touga, and Akio have other plans. He is confronted with Reality, and it terrifies him. He sees himself in the drivers seat, Anthy his. This is what he is now, no point in trying to hide from it. He challenges Utena again, taking an early advantage utilizing his new resolve and Utena’s confusion. But that resolves breaks quickly. What is Kozue doing with Anthy?

Pay attention, or you’ll lose.

Fig 6: Crash!!

Miki is disgusted with himself, his role, because he does not want it. He hates what’s happening to himself and his family. He admires Utena and Juri, for embodying his ideal self. He listens to Touga, puts up with his music teacher, even if they make him feel gross and uncomfortable, because he feels he has to and that he doesn’t have a choice. He idolizes Anthy, so much. He is attracted to her, but maybe there is something more. Maybe, Miki wishes he could be her. Miki, in my mind, is a closeted trans lesbian going through puberty as a boy. I think that part of this might be projection, perhaps. But I hope that I might have made my case using the text of the show. But even if you disagree, I hope that you might have a better appreciation for his character. I think he’s fairly consistently people’s least favorite council member as a character, but honestly he’s my favorite and I think there’s a lot more too him than a lot of people give him credit for.

Fig 7: Three Lesbians Hanging Out

… this all being said. I think it’s interesting that Miki thinks Anthy is the picture of femininity right? That this is what he wants.

In the end, all girls are like the rose bride.

Please wait patiently while I make the case, that while Miki is an egg. Anthy has long since hatched...

(And I do mean be patient! This subject, and the concept that Ohtori represents a transmisogynystic institution at its very core, is WAY more personal than this headcanon, and also is much more of a difficult thing to write for dozens of reasons. I'm still not 100% sure it would even be right of me to post my thoughts on that publicly. But if enough people are interested, maybe that would motivate me to write it!)

*What’s a good Miki essay without some sort of Stopwatch Theory tm? Well (and I freely admit much of this is probably projection, but it’s not just me projecting! It’s also my girlfriend!!), Miki seems to get very wrapped up in his own thoughts. He is very self conscious, takes the criticisms of others very seriously, and also seems to get ideas about How Things Are Going To Happen in his head. He desperately tries to make sense of his surroundings, and finds himself consistently failing to do that. So my guess is the stopwatch is a way for him to regulate and calibrate his thoughts and hypotheses and self image. He picked it up in his duty as council secretary, but its something he feels is significant outside of that. Aha moment? Click. Unexpected end to a council meeting? Click. Something go completely as expected? Click. It helps him process I think. That is my formal Stopwatch Hypothesis tm.

Supplement Fig 1: Stopwatch

[elliesgaythoughts]

How each Ellie era would react to receiving ye ole glock glock

(trans Ellie bc I love her)

a/n: y’all probably saw this on another account, I wrote it for em but they took it down so now bbg is where she belongs🤍 also to my trans peeps if y’all have any comments, advice, opinions or like constructive criticism for me it’s highly encouraged, your opinions are appreciated here, yep that’s all x

Jackson!ellie the second your pout landed on her tip it would be over for her, her fingers intangling into your hair as her eyes are glued onto how you kiss the tip of her pink flesh over and over, heavy open mouth breaths leaving her as her tummy spasmed all to soon at the feel of you suckling on to her softly, a strained “gonnacum” leaves her just as her hips buck softly.

Seattle!ellie seattle ellie would be too hyper focused on Abby to remember to take care of herself so you’d have to be extra gentle with her, not just physically but mentally. she’d completely melt as you praised how good she is for you as you guided her hand into your hair. her body going limp as she felt the warmth of your mouth caress her length, your hand holding hers and your eyes never leaving them pretty green orbs, “thank you” sweetly leaving her lips as she watches you tuck her back into her grey boxers and pressing a kiss to her pretty buldge.

Farm!ellie would have grown out of the subby auburn haired girl she used to be, not too shy to shamelessly stroll out of the shower, a towel wrapped around her waist and a offer on her lips “head?” she’d shrug and you’d happily kiss down her still dripping torso, cupping her breast with one hand and tearing the towel off her body with the other. she’d have no problem grunting out your name as she sweetly held each side of your face as she selfishly used your throat, her hips snapping forward as she ignores your gags and teary eyes, knowing you’d tap her thigh if you truely wanted her to stop. a strained “fucking slut” would leave her throat right before she pushed your head down her fully, stilling inside you and throbbing inside your mouth as she coated your tongue in her essence.

Santa Barbara!ellie would low-key like to be dommed, her subbiness doing a full 180, she just wanted to know that she belonged to someone and who better than you? “so fucking desperate, mama” you’d coo, your hand gliding up and down her solid dick, you knew what she wanted but she’d never get it without asking, you hum contently “this is fun” as you watched from your spot on your knees as her head dips, her lips part and her eyebrows furrow in agitation, you were giving her so much but she needed more to cum, for eyes watching your mouth, trying to signal what she needed, you knew what she needed, you always did, your thumb coming up and rubbing her tip in soft little circles “beg” and if course she has no problem with your order, butterflies in her belly at the thought of your lips wrapping around her “please, please mommy, please” your thumb speeds up an you move your head closer, teasing her and you can hear her voice crack in excitement “i- need your throat mommyyy” she whines “such a good fucking girl for me” and the moan that leaves her is fucking pornographic as you messily spit on her throbbing tip, twisting your wrist and sliding up and down her as you harshly sucked yourself off of girlfriends dick “y-yeah, im your good girl” your other hand smacks her asscheek and pushes her pelvis closer to your mouth “please, please can I cum?” and how could you refuse when she whimpered your name like that, you nod, her dick still in your mouth, your eyes on hers and your tongue dancing on her tip, luring out the sweet taste that spilled from her gasping and used form “fuuuck.

@williamellieslilho @yourelliewillms @bready101 @moonalumi @heygrimace @pascals-doll @infiniteinquiries @aouiaa

[rubberduckyrye]

You know I've seen quite a few people say they're wanting to make v3 rewrites lately--and as someone who is actively working on one by myself, I feel like I should give some advice. I know I'm nowhere NEAR done with Twins AU, but I've made a ridiculous amount of progress and I think these things have greatly helped me out personally

So here are my tips for making a V3 rewrite and actually making it stick/not to burn out before the first chapter!

This is important. Don't try to please everyone. You will never please everyone. Write this for yourself, and you will find an audience. People can and will hate your fic no matter what you do. Don't try to please them, they are not your target audience-- so Write this story for, first and foremost, yourself. It'll feel so much more rewarding if you do I promise.

V3's main theme is extremely muddied due to how the narrative was and how open ended the game was left, and from my own research, no one can agree on what V3 was trying to say about truth and lies, or Reality and Fiction. If you want to rewrite this story, you're going to need to narrow down what you want your rewrite to say about the themes presented.

PLAN THE EVIDENCE AND MURDERS AS THOROUGHLY AS YOU CAN. I think not knowing what I was going to do for the cases and trials really scared me for the longest time until I essentially sat myself down and fleshed out all of the cases for Twins AU. Make evidence lists, do research on how your murder cases might go, the works. It's a lot of work but I personally followed this post and also made an evidence list to help me out plot out the murders for Twins AU. This is also a great way to flesh out your protagonist as well, since you get to explore their note-taking style and what kind of language they'd use for taking notes and if they have opinions about certain things.

Write a summary of each character in the story. DR games have a big cast and V3 has an even BIGGER cast than usual, so it's good to write down summaries for all of the characters. I also suggest really studying each character too, even if you plan on changing a character to better suit your tastes (or to get rid of offensive material.... looking at you Angie) you still want to keep the core of their character intact for fans of that character.

Speaking of characters, make sure to try and remember to write each one as a human being, even if they aren't human (Kiibo for example). Develop them, give them quirks and flaws, motivations and wants and desires and dreams. Even if you hate a character, doing this much character study will help you keep them in character and keep their motivations reasonable and understandable.

If you don't have a good grasp on a character, study harder. Don't go looking for other people's interpretations or try to be a crowd pleaser. Make your own interpretation, and that interpretation becomes special to your rewrite.

If you plan on changing a character, for the love of GOD do your research first. Don't go accidentally making Angie into a worse racist caricature of Pacific Islanders Please and Thank You. Actually, just do a ton of research in subject you think might be relevant to a character or the plot--like Gonta and how ableism prevails in his story. Like how Shuichi has anxiety up the wazoo and how Maki has learned helplessness. Study and research hard.

Pace yourself--I don't think people realize how GIANT a V3 rewrite project is--remember that this game is extremely long and you cannot write this in a single month. Once all of your planning is done, write a reasonable amount for it each day. For me, I'm able to crank out 2k a day because I type absurdly fast, but most people would probably want to start at maybe 500 words a day.

If you're not having fun, step back. You might be burnt out and need a break, or maybe the scene you're writing is just not working. Take time to assess your own feelings and do what is appropriate to resolve them.

Don't feel too discouraged if you need to rewrite a whole scene--it happens to the best of us and sometimes things are just not working. It's not lost progress to retry--consider the scene you are replacing as a rough draft you need to remake. I've had to erase huge 1k chunks due to this.

Reward yourself for big accomplishments! When I finished the prologue, I threw myself and my editor ( @trans-shuichisaihara ) a pizza party, and I plan on doing something like that again, albeit probably cheaper. Reward yourself for huge milestones! Hell, I owe myself at least one treat for two chapters I've written, but tbh I've been having so much fun just writing that doing so is rewarding within itself. That doesn't mean external factors can't help, so if you finish a chapter and you're proud of it, buy yourself a treat for working so hard!

If you got a friend who likes editing/beta reading, invite them to beta read for you! They can help you find errors and typos that you might've missed. If you plan on editing your fic, I highly recommend reading your writing out loud to help you find weird sentence structures and awkward phrases. This should have the bonus of making it easier for people who use screen readers/just prefer audiobooks to enjoy your fic as well!

EDIT! Here are two more:

It's okay to be scared writing something new! Getting out of your comfort zone is going to happen with a giant story like this, and maybe you're going to flop at the best parts. That's perfectly fine!!! You can always edit it later--or even just call it "good enough" and move on! This is fanfic for fun, not a professional project you're making money off of. It's okay if things are less than ideal and incredible imperfect. An imperfect story is at least written. That's better than not writing it at all.

For the love of everything that is holy, remember that the characters should be people--and remember that their talents do not make up their entire personality. Their talents should not solely dictate what they wear, how they act, or the worst offender in this fandom--how their executions go. When writing a character Execution, think instead of what would be the worst way for that character to die--that is to say, what would bring them the most despair upon their death. DR1 and DRV3's executions all play with the despair of the blackened in each execution (with DR2 being noted to heavily miss the mark and to be the set of executions that are the most disappointing to Kodaka, from what I've been told.) So if you're stuck on writing a new Execution, try to think about what each execution from DR1 and DRV3 does to play with the despair of the blackened. What about their executions are giving them despair in their final moments? Do they at all relate to their talents, or are they completely separate from their talent? Study them, and you'll be able to use that information to write your own unique executions that are miles better than most of the fan made executions out there.

And I think that's my advice for now! Happy writing, everyone!

[neptuneiris]

cardigan (epilogue) (2/2)

and I knew you'd come back to me, you'd come back to me

pairing: modern!aemond × best friend reader!

summary: being in love with your best friend since high school becomes a strong and unavoidable feeling. until it starts to become more difficult when you get to college and the two of you, especially him, meet new people.

word count: 9.9k

previous part •

thank you so much to all those beautiful people who read this story, it meant a lot to me all those comments full of love and emotion to read each chapter. i'm so sad that it's over, but you will always have the story here to read it whenever you want to.

we'll see you in the next stories, for now we'll give a moment to the end of cardigan, where i'll be anxious to read your opinions. again, thanks for everything, you guys are amazing!

"Can you give me some time, please?"

You had asked him that day, that day with tears still in your eyes and still hugging him, to which he had lowered his gaze to look at you, his gaze soft and understanding, nodding at the instant you asked him.

And you had explained your reasons.

"I-I need to think, Aemond. I-I don't know if I can... do-this... right now. I-I just... "you bite your lips, nervous and embarrassed, "I need some time, I-I need....

"Yes, of course," he assures you softly, "You don't need to ask me, you take it. Do what you think you need to do, I won't pressure you. I will respect your space and each of the decisions you make when you are ready, whatever they are, all right?" he observes you honestly, "Don't worry about me. Take all the time you need."

You nodded in his direction, thanking him with your gaze, to which he had left a soft kiss on your forehead and finally separates from you.

After that, it doesn't take him long to leave your room, to which you had closed your door, watching him walk away down the hallway, feeling something in your chest, a feeling you didn't know exactly what it was.

And he had felt it too as he walked away.

And still surprised and with a bewildered expression in your gaze, that day you still hadn't processed one hundred percent of everything that had happened.

That day you lay on your bed and stared at the ceiling for a long time, thinking about everything and at the same time about nothing. Until eventually you fell asleep.

And now three months have passed.

Three months have passed since the time Aemond showed up by surprise in your room once you came back from Highgarden and you both confessed your true feelings for each other.

Three months since you asked him for time and to this day you haven't seen him or talked to him again.

You still have him blocked from all your social media, so neither of you know what each other is doing, however, you both know that you are either for Helaena or for Aegon.

And as he promised, he hasn't been looking for you again, hasn't pressured you, and has given you your space. And you have also complied with clarifying your ideas and your feelings, what you really want and what is best for you.

However, you are still not done with that matter of yours.

You still have some thoughts here and there, also some mixed feelings and indecisions.

But it's not the only thing you think about, sometimes you can't even think about it because of college, your internship here at King's Landing and also because of your job at the boutique.

Fortunately you've been hired at the boutique that Helaena told you about and everything has been more than fine in your life in those two fields of school and financially.

But you still think about Aemond and the current situation with him.

You thought about asking someone for advice, your friends and even Helaena, but honestly... you want to make this decision by yourself, without anyone else's opinions about what you should or shouldn't do.

You would ask for advice if you didn't know what to do, but you are considering all points, the before and the now.

Until an extended weekend arrives with Monday and Tuesday off for holidays, so you have more time to think about him and yourself.

Your friends invite you to go out partying considering there will be a lot of them at the frat houses for the long weekend but you're not in the mood, plus you know he'll probably be there.

But once talking to Helaena when you went for coffee together, she herself told you that Aemond has been going more on the weekends to his parents' house.

And you're not avoiding him, in fact you've seen him a few times on campus, obviously because that platinum hair is so easy to spot. He hasn't seen you but every time you see him... it disturbs your thoughts a little.

That's why you'd rather not see him.

When on a Saturday afternoon, you head to your room with a basket of clean clothes coming from the laundry, you open the door and Vhagar watches you comfortably between your pillows start to hang the clean clothes in your closet.

And once you're done, you sit on your bed, grab your phone and go to Facebook, when the first post you see is from the weather in King's Landing, warning that a horrible storm will hit tonight and will last until Sunday afternoon, so they ask for precautions to all the population.

You quickly pull aside the curtain of your window and in the distance you see some black and gray clouds approaching, causing you to shiver.

When just at that moment, you get a message and when you look at the screen, you see that it's Aegon.

Egg🥚: hey little demon

Egg🥚: tomorrow we're going to dinner, hel, daeron and jace

Egg🥚: you know who isn't coming so what do you say 👀?

You watch the messages for a few seconds without replying and doing nothing, just watching them and nothing else.

And you don't know why but reading the "you know who" made you feel something in your chest, something that you don't even know, but that makes you feel and makes you think more about him.

You look around your room, remembering just how everything happened here, the last time you saw each other and everything you talked about. His feelings and how you reacted.

Again that strange feeling gets stronger in your chest, a pleasant but sharp pain that runs through your whole body and is… inexplicable.

And suddenly… you feel a need.

You look again through your window at the horrible storm that will start in a couple more hours and let out a long breath, pursing your lips.

Afterwards, you don't really know what's wrong with you, but at half past seven in the evening and only with hope and Vhagar in your arms you get out of the Uber and head to quickly enter the huge building.

The wind has already reached the city, a strong one announcing that it will rain soon.

Your hair is flying in all directions, Vhagar is fidgeting in your arms and as you cross the doors of the building, you are finally okay but through the windows you see all that wind and some lightning reflecting.

The sky is already getting completely dark and you hear some thunder in the distance, all of it approaching.

You hug Vhagar and head for the elevator, again with that hope and longing.

Or otherwise… you'll have come all this way for nothing.

Soon enough you ring the bell, as you cuddle Vhagar and wait impatiently, worried that you'll probably stay out here since you can't go back to your dorm in this weather.

Uber fares go up considerably high because of the rain. And considering it's a storm… you'd have to stay here or at the reception of the building.

You let out a long breath, waiting. When at that moment a loud clap of thunder rumbles through the entire building, tensing you up and causing you to freeze in fear.

Vhagar stirs frightened in your arms and you hold her tighter against you, caressing her, swallowing hard and looking at the door with a hopeful and suffering face at the same time, beginning to despair.

You don't like to be alone when this kind of weather happens.

Then to your enormous good fortune, the door opens and again after a long three months you are face to face with Aemond.

The surprise is more than evident on his face when he sees you, clearly not expecting it to be you, now with the roles reversing as you are the one looking for him after months.

And you smile a little in his direction, though it's not entirely genuine because of the nervousness of being in front of him again and also because of the storm out there.

As Aemond watches you with his lips parted, his gaze lit up and wearing comfortable clothes, a white t-shirt and gray pants.

"Y/N?"

Vhagar stirs fully in your arms, watching Aemond intently, as you hold her tighter and swallow hard, watching him with some sorrow and also hope.

"I'm sorry," you stir nervously, lowering your gaze, "I-I had to come and….

You bite your lips, as Aemond takes a step towards you, hopeful, but still very surprised that you are here. And when you again raise your gaze to him, you both stare at each other for a few seconds without saying anything, with a look of hope.

His lilac eye watches you again with that glow while his beautiful sapphire shines and sparkles completely in your direction. That sapphire you love so much.

He doesn't seem to intend to send you away, not at all, not with the storm out there and if there wasn't, he still wouldn't have done it.

He wouldn't let you go a second time, not in his greatest madness.

That's why you light that spark of hope in him again, watching you intently and with complete adoration, even though he hasn't sung victory yet.

And you finally finish your sentence by watching him with a look of hope and affection at the same time.

"And I just hate storms."

Aemond places a small closed-mouth smile, one barely visible, then fully opens his door and allows you to pass through.

"I know."

Is what he says to you so that you then enter the apartment.

You set Vhagar down on the floor and realize that nothing has changed as everything remains exactly the same. As Aemond watches you behind you, cautious to take his distance as he doesn't want to ruin this, to then hold Vhagar in his arms.

And then it's as if you both go back in time.

"Would you like a cup of coffee or something to eat?"

He offers you in a soft voice, as your gaze focuses on the huge windows, watching as the rain hits the glass hard and lightning illuminates some parts inside the apartment.

And you turn to him.

"Yes," you nod, "Coffee would be nice."

Aemond nods to then go down to Vhagar, but first quickly goes to close the curtains, since he knows you don't even like to look when it rains so brutally.

Then he makes you comfortable in what used to be your home too.

You take a seat on the stool at the table while he starts getting everything ready and that's when you both again start catching up after the three months.

You thought it would be awkward and weird, but it's not.

He's clearly happy that you're here and you feel the same way about the two of you now being in each other's company.

The conversation makes you forget a bit about the weather, even though you hear some thunder, but Aemond distracts you by asking or telling you something, pouring you a cup of coffee and offering you some sweet bread as well.

There really isn't much to catch up on, but you have a very good and pleasant time, finally feeling at ease being with him.

As the night begins to grow late and Aemond takes you to your room, because for him it has never stopped being your room.

When you open the door, everything is just as you left it the last time. Everything is empty, there are only the unoccupied furniture, the lamps on each one, the empty desk and also the bed with the sheets and pillows that have not been used by anyone since you left.

"I'll get you a T-shirt and some socks, so you can sleep comfortably."

You look at him and nod, watching him gratefully.

"Yes, thank you. I-I know I should have brought my clothes, but…

"No, it's fine," he assures you instantly, "No problem."

And he walks away down the hallway toward the door to his room as you watch him then go inside, take a seat on the bed and look around the room for a few more moments.

You felt so strange when you left this room and saw it this empty last time. And now you feel the same way.

When he soon returns with his clothes and hands them to you.

"Here you go."

"Thank you, Aemond."

He nods to you and then scratches the back of his neck, which he does out of nervousness, watching you, suddenly having an impulse, wanting to say something to you.

But he controls himself, again telling himself that he mustn't fuck this up, that he mustn't scare you. So he starts to leave the room.

"I'll be in my room if you need anything."

"Yes," you murmur, "Thank you."

"It's nothing," he smiles softly at you, "good night."

"Good night."

And he closes the door.

It's only a matter of time before you're covered with the sheets, with Vhagar sleeping with you, watching the rain through part of the window with the curtain open, lowering your gaze to place your nose in the collar of Aemond's shirt you're wearing so you can breathe in more of the detergent and clean smell of him.

You can't sleep.

The sound of the rain doesn't leave you, neither does the lightning that reflects from time to time, much less some thunder that is not constant, but when you hear it, it makes you tense up and gives you chills.

You know you're not alone, but you still can't.

So you try one more time. But unconsciously your eyes stay open and you tremble with fear when the thunder is louder this time and the lightning longer and more constant.

Everything is like a horror movie for you.

You really hate and are terrified of storms.

Unable to stand it any longer, you stir to get up, to which Vhagar does so too, watching you intently, she too watching the window for the sound of the rain and the strong wind, probably just as terrified as you are.

Undecided, you go back to watching the window sitting on the bed and bite your lips, telling yourself that what you want to do is not bad and that it is just what you want after so long thinking about it.

When a huge, loud, horrible thunder rumbles throughout the building and probably all of Kings Landing.

You tense up and become completely paralyzed with fear, also the thunder makes Vhagar bark in fear, while you feel the uncontrollable urge to cry, because it terrifies you and does not let you sleep.

You get up with Vhagar in your arms, definitely not taking it anymore and as you try to move forward to get out of bed, your feet collide with something.

You lower your confused gaze, stopping, seeing how there is a medium sized box sticking out a bit from under the bed, as if it had been stored there.

Confused and curious, despite the horrible storm out there, you gently set Vhagar back down on the bed and bend down to pull the box out and pick it up.

Cautiously, you think to yourself that maybe it must be something of Aemond's, something he wanted to keep here and you know you shouldn't snoop around because it's his stuff and this is his room since you left.

But you ask yourself; why keep something right here? Why not in his room?

With everything he has told you and if he really felt bad about you leaving here, maybe he couldn't even bear to see this room without your stuff being here.

That's how you would have felt.

When you then look at the box, in the center of the lid you see how there is a white folded card. You frown, slowly open it and read:

For my best friend, the best of all.

Happy birthday my pretty one. Thank you for always being there for me, even though many times I don't deserve you. I love you, now and always.

You stand completely frozen, staring at the card in surprise and bewilderment, only to look at the box in your hands that is actually your birthday present.

The gift he was never able to give you.

Months have passed and yet it's like it happened yesterday. And you've moved on. But Aemond isn't.

Maybe in all this time remorse was eating him alive, knowing perfectly well that your present is under your bed, in the room that was once yours. Thinking that day must have been very special and that he must have been there for you.

However, nothing was like that.

That's why he placed it here, because he couldn't bear to see it, just the same way he couldn't even bear to see the door to this room every time he walked through the hallway.

You're surprised that he didn't get rid of your gift, but still, unable to cope with curiosity and with a strong, sharp feeling in your chest, you dare and open the box.

And the first thing you see are old photos of the two of you together.

You delicately take the first picture, a photo of you both in high school, where you smile with utmost happiness and he makes a funny face next to you.

You smile a little, remembering that day just as if it was yesterday.

This is the first picture you both took together after you both started spending more time together in school and then became best friends.

He didn't even want to take a picture with you, he said he didn't like them, but you convinced him and then over time he didn't deny you any picture you wanted to take of him or both of you together.

The next picture is both of you in his car, both eating ice cream, where earlier he had warned you that if you dropped ice cream on his baby, his car obviously, you would have to wash it yourself and everything, not just the inside.

Then the next picture is both of you at school with a bunch of friends from back then, friends of his more than anything, but he and you are in the middle of everyone, hugging and smiling.

And so continually there are more photos of the two of you, especially together on your relatives' birthdays, there's even one of the two of you with your parents.

You planned a little trip to visit your parents because you missed them so much and Aemond in an instant wanted to join you.

You didn't want to bother him, but he assured you that he was no bother at all and the moment your parents finally met him, they loved him completely and he loved them too.

Another photo is him at the amusement park, smiling at you, and then another one he took of you, also smiling with a cotton candy.

And at the end are the pictures you took together at his family's balls at Dragonstone, both of you smiling, him in his suit and you in your more than ideal and perfect dress for that night.

He has the color of his tie the same color as your dress in each photo, going through the years, both of you together and in different colors of ties and dresses.

There are also photos of the two of you here in the apartment, together, smiling and happy, to which you smile too, looking at the photos with a lot of feeling, tears starting to form in your eyes.

And you realize the different meaning these photos would have had, if the two of you had confessed your feelings to each other from the beginning.

And that's what gives you the most feeling… the time lost and how wrong the two of you were about each other.

You sniffle, not letting the tears run down your cheeks, realizing that there is something else in the background that was covered by the pictures.

You take another but smaller box in your hand, a small black and velvet box.

Not having the slightest idea what it could be, you swallow hard and open it, instantly the slight surprise reflecting in your gaze as you see what's inside.

A beautiful silver necklace with a drop-shaped pendant of a blue sapphire… a blue sapphire just the same color as the one he has in his eye.

Incredulous, starting to breathe a little faster, you look at it in complete surprise, realizing what he would have given you at the time as a gift.

But you don't even know if you would have accepted it. You know that this must have cost him a lot.

And even though you know that money is no issue for him, it still seems too much for you because it's a real sapphire, just like the one in his eye.

You tilt your head to the side, feeling like you really want to cry now, but then a few words on a small letter underneath the necklace catch your eye.

An important part of me for you,

A vulnerable part of me that has been placed in good hands with you, my soulmate. A part that I have learned to overcome and a pain that thanks to you, has turned into something beautiful. You are special to me.

You are pure magic, my beautiful pretty one.

That's when you lose it again completely. And you start to cry uncontrollably.

You try not to make your sobs so loud, especially since Aemond's room is right next door, but you doubt that he can hear you with all the horrible sound of the storm outside.

You gently run your index finger over the precious sapphire and read his words over and over again.

My soulmate.

He has written to you… but back then it would have meant soulmates in a friendship. But now considering the truth, he always thought differently and has always been that way.

You wonder what you would have done at that moment if he had spent your birthday with you, maybe in sorrow you would have refused this expensive gift, but in the end you know he would have convinced you one way or another.

When at that moment, again a huge, terrifying and loud thunder makes you terribly scared.

Vhagar again barks, frightened and trying to find your touch.

You wipe your tears and leave the gift on the bed, then take Vhagar in your arms and leave the room, heading towards Aemond's room.

At first you think about knocking, but again another clap of thunder, not so loud this time but still frightening, makes you simply open his door.

Instantly you think he is asleep, but the reality is that he has been as awake as you have been all this time.

And with his back to you, he turns to you as he hears the faint sound of his door opening and also draws your attention as the light from the hallway slowly enters his darkened room.

"Y/N?"

You are relieved to realize that he was not asleep, as he looks at you a little confused, beginning to sit up, watching you carefully.

In other circumstances he would not have understood you, but by the expression in your face in an instant he knows because of the horrible storm accompanied by the loud and terrifying thunder outside.

You are about to explain yourself, but as you stand there watching him, remembering all that he told you and explained, even though you are more than aware of the beautiful gift he was destined to give you, you realize that you can't find the words to speak.

Much less when out there the storm seems to intensify, increasing your anxiety and your fear, calling for your attention.

But he has his full attention on you.

So simply acting on impulse and that same need you felt hours earlier in your dorm, deciding to come here by finally making a decision, you head towards him.

You leave Vhagar on his bed, walk around the bed to get to the right side as he watches you intently without saying anything to you and you lie down next to him.

And the two of you simply say nothing.

Aemond settles back into the same position he was in before, while you cover yourself with the sheets that have that unique, clean, fresh smell of his.

Then you move closer to him, snuggling up next to him, draping one of your arms across his stomach and placing your head on his chest, as he gladly welcomes you and locks you in his arms.

And again neither of you say anything. Because there is no need to say anything.

Simply the actions speak for themselves, Aemond realizing that you have already made your decision, a decision that fills him completely and makes him a happy man, finally.

Because you are trusting him again completely, giving him your heart in his hands. And for that he feels privileged.

And in that moment he makes a promise to himself, and that is that he will not fuck this up again, he will not hurt you again, because this is all he has ever wanted.

And the first thing he will do is to prove everything to you with actions and not with words, words and promises that were worthless before, but now… now things are different.

Now they are without Alys in the middle and without his immaturity holding him back anymore.

And what you need from him is this, to feel his closeness, his presence, just the way you are now, hugging and now feeling so much better to get through this horrible storm.

Vhagar settles between both of your legs, to which Aemond smiles tight-mouthed, resting his head more against yours, running his fingers gently down your back, over his shirt, sending shivers but comfort throughout your body.

You move your face closer to him, hiding your face between his chest and neck, inhaling the comforting scent of his clothes and hair, making you smile a little softly.

You have never been in such an intimate position with him before, not even in your times of friendship, because you were afraid that if you started doing this, he would notice.

But now… you realize that this is all you've ever wanted.

When suddenly another huge thunderclap makes you startle in fright and hide your face further into his neck, but Aemond quickly pulls you tighter against him, covering you and protecting you from everything.

"Shh," he murmurs softly in your ear, stroking your back, "Easy, my pretty one. It's okay, I've got you."

And his words couldn't have comforted you more.

Especially since he then turns his face slightly towards yours and begins to leave soft, tender kisses all over your cheek, making butterflies appear in your stomach.

He doesn't go any further, fearing to scare you, when the reality is that you had long desired this. But you don't make him go any further either, this being enough and perfect.

"I love you so much," he murmurs sincerely and lovingly in your ear, "You don't know how much I had wanted this, Y/N."

You smile softly against her cheek and neck, gently stroking her hair with your right hand.

"Me too," you murmur," And I love you too, Aemond."

And there it is… finally. The first I love you from both of you.

Aemond had already told you, that's why you reacted the way you reacted, but now hearing those words come from you only makes him feel more alive and realize that this is real.

With you in his arms and Vhagar asleep in his legs, he knows this is real.

Inevitably, now he is the one who feels the urge to cry, your "I love you" filling him completely and making a tear escape from his eye, feeling very happy but at the same time very afraid of losing you again for a silly thing.

Only he knows how much he suffered when you left and their friendship ended, that now he doesn't even want to make the slightest mistake, because he doesn't want to and wouldn't bear to lose you again.

"I'm not going to fuck this up again, Y/N."

He tells you with a slight tremor in his voice, calling your attention, without ceasing to caress his hair, especially at the moment when you feel something wet fall on your shoulder, being his tear.

"I don't want to lose you again, not with more words and empty promises. No, I-I want to make this right, I want you to be with me, I want to deserve you, to be worth it to you. And I'm going to prove that to you."

You open your eyes slowly, not really being able to see anything, only the shape of his face covering half of your view, while the rest is the room, watching the lightning reflecting from time to time.

You let out a long breath, continuing to run your hand through his hair, then gently lift your face towards him, without pulling away from the embrace, wanting to look at him face to face.

And you are right the moment you see the wet path of his tear running down his cheek and his eye slightly red as he looks back at you.

And he lets you see it, lets you see his vulnerability and how terribly honest he's being with you right now. And you believe him. You really do.

You raise your hand and place your thumb on his cheek, wiping away the trace of moisture gently, watching him lovingly and in understanding, then nod, letting him know it's okay.

Then you are the one who starts stroking his hair back as you lean a little closer to him and start leaving soft kisses on his right cheek while caressing his left cheek with your hand.

He leans closer to you, closing his eye and letting himself be carried away by the feeling of your caresses, holding you tighter against him, not wanting to let you go and wanting to feel you as close as possible.

This is comforting for both you and him, but he has always wanted this, always longed for this and now that he is receiving it, it feels like a dream.

And he loves this. He loves that he has you and that everything is finally all right, despite the terrible storm out there.

But the storm was the main reason you're both here now so… he doesn't know whether to be grateful for that or hate the storm as much as you hate it for scaring you and keeping you awake at night.

Then again it's you who dares and leaves a soft kiss on his lips that takes him completely unaware and he opens his eye to watch you intently and slightly surprised.

But before the two of you, especially you, can process it, you watch him with some fear, hope, fondness and need.

"We won't go through the same thing again as before, will we?"

You ask him in fear and his gaze contracts in understanding and concern for your worry.

"We will talk and consult each other about anything that worries us. We won't be led by anything or anyone without asking each other first… right?" you look at him a little more serious, but still concerned, "There won't be anyone else in the way anymore."

Aemond watches you for a few seconds in silence, observing you or rather admiring you gently, completely understanding this concern of yours.

And if he were you, honestly he too would be worried about the same thing considering everything that happened between you.

"Right."

He assures you afterwards with a sigh, bringing one of his hands to a lock of your hair, placing it behind your ear, then caressing your cheek watching you with adoration and then placing his fingers on your chin.

"We're going to do this right," he assures you, "I'm going to do this right."

"You promise?"

"I promise," he assures you again in an instant, "I'll never get another chance with you if I screw up again, I know that and that's why…now that I finally have you, I don't intend to let you go. Not until you decide so."

You smile softly in his direction, your gaze full of affection and adoration, thinking about how much you love him and how perfect this feels, this thing you've wanted for years, being the same thing he wanted and feels too.

Your lips are almost touching and having no intention of separating because you want to feel the closeness of the two of you, his words filling you up.

"So this is official now?"

You ask him with some amusement in your gaze but equally excited, trying to keep yourself from smiling big and looking like a silly little girl in love.

"I've waited too long already, Y/N. I don't want to waste any more time. But I'll understand if you still don't want us to take this any further," he lets you know, "Just because you've already made up your mind and taken some time doesn't mean you can't take more to clear your head if that's what you need. I'll still keep waiting for you until you're ready."

He tells you so honestly and with such determination that your heart melts with affection.

And more so because he continues to look at you as the most precious thing to him in the whole world, really not wanting to scare you away from the matters of a relationship so soon, but he wants to be honest with you from the beginning.

And you appreciate that, because you know how terribly serious this is both for him and for you….. finally.

"No, I-I…" you nod slightly and smile a little, "I want this too."

He watches you intently and with all the fondness in his gaze.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes… yes, I-I… this is all I've ever wanted" you sigh, "I don't want to waste any more time either. I just want everything to be okay now and for us not to go through what we went through last time. I want us to talk and be there for each other."

He nods slightly, understanding, smiling.

"That's how it will be my pretty one, you'll see."

So now it is he who makes with his fingers on your chin to bring your face closer to him and kisses you.

He really kisses you.

You let yourself be completely carried away by the movement of his lips and you move closer to him, letting all your weight fall on top of him, kissing him as softly and affectionately as he kisses you, it being a kiss not at all hurried but deep and full of feelings.

He kisses you so sweet and so soft, treating you as if you were made of glass.

He then places both of his hands on your waist, embracing you and pulling you tighter against him, while you place your hands on his cheeks, both kissing without separating an inch.

And now all you can hear is still the sound of rain and thunder outside, along with the sound of your mouths moving, both of you clinging to each other.

The two of you finally feeling complete as you share your first kiss.

"Fuck," he sighs into your lips, completely delighted by your lips and your closeness, "I love you…so much."

He tells you in between kisses to then caress his lips with yours again in a desperate, deep movement, making you smile and giggle a little, pulling you apart a little to again leave steady kisses down his cheeks, his nose and again kiss his lips.

"I love you too."

And again you resume the long, lingering kiss, not meaning anything else, just being about the first innocent kiss… for now.

All they both need now is to feel that closeness and affection for each other. And that's exactly what they do, until they eventually fall asleep.

The next morning, neither you nor Aemond get out of bed.

With the weather completely cloudy as a result of last night's storm, the mood is to stay in bed and stay there all day. And that's exactly what you both do.

It is Aemond who wakes up first, with you in his arms, your face buried in his neck and your arms around his body, while Vhagar sleeps in both of your legs more than comfortably.

He smiles at the sight, more than pleased and more than happy, not needing anything else for this day and definitely not needing more in his life than this… you.

You the person he wants to spend the rest of his days with if possible, with Vhagar accompanying you at every step, the mere thought making him smile and yearn like an idiot.

Then he carefully removes you from his body, which fortunately you don't wake up to because you are not used to going to sleep late and waking up early the next day like he is.

Vhagar doesn't wake up either, which he also appreciates and as soon as he gets out of bed, he quickly covers you with his sheets, making sure you're okay, and then leaves a kiss on your neck and forehead.

He also caresses and leaves kisses on Vhagar's head before heading to his bathroom to take a shower.

And by the time he finishes, you are still asleep, but Vhagar wakes up and he takes her in his arms to go together to the kitchen to make breakfast.

The whole time he's cooking he can't stop grinning like an idiot, thinking about last night and also happy with the thought that you're here with him, right now sleeping in his bed, the two of you finally together.

And he knows it's real as he paces back and forth in the kitchen with Vhagar lying on the floor, watching him, making him smile and feeding her every moment he sees her, not resisting.

As he is about to finish cooking, he feels small hands and arms wrap around his back completely, making him smile like an idiot again, more if possible, instantly placing his hands above yours on his chest.

He feels you drop your head on his back, needing his touch, just what he needs from you as well.

"Good morning, my pretty one."

"Good morning," you say back to him with your voice hoarser and still sleepy.

He laughs and turns to you, holding you in his arms, instantly embracing you as you cling completely to him. And he leaves kisses on your cheek and in your hair.

"How did you sleep?"

You let out a long breath.

"Very well until I woke up and you weren't next to me."

He smiles, pulling you closer to him.

"Don't worry, we'll have more mornings together where you'll wake up and I'll be right next to you, I promise," he leaves a kiss on your forehead, "Now… do you want breakfast? I made pancakes."

You raise your gaze to him, watching him with all the adoration in the world with a small smile, then nod.

"Okey," he leans in and leaves a soft kiss on your lips, "Give me a few minutes, I'll serve everything."

"I'll help you."

The two separate, at that moment the two realizing that they can't even keep their hands to themselves as they need to touch and be close to each other, turning out to be ridiculous but more than necessary at the same time.

Aemond thinks about how if Aegon could see them right now, he would call them in need of affection when literally the two of them are in the same place and even then it's not enough.

It's not like you're going to be stolen any second from his side or Aemond is going to be stolen from your side.

And the moment they start serving everything, after having breakfast together, in the place that was home to both of you and fortunately still is, everything went back to the way it used to be before.

Except this time… finally Aemond is yours and you are his.

And then pretty soon the people around you know it.

It's not as if you both wanted to hide your relationship, not at all, rather you wanted to shout to everyone that at last the two of you are together and happy.

Helaena was the first to find out after she showed up by surprise at the apartment and found you there with Aemond's clothes on, where the two of you were watching movies.

And you didn't even have to explain anything to her, she immediately deduced that something else was going on.

But when you confirmed to her that it was so, she could no longer control her huge smile and her excitement, hugging you tightly, telling you how very happy she was for both of you, then hugging Aemond as well.

But his happiness vanishes and in the blink of an eye she grabs him by the collar of his shirt in a furious grip and threatens him not to commit any of his foolishness with you again.

And as soon as she is done threatening him too, she returns to her happy state and keeps them company for a while, happy to see them both so comfortable, so happy and finally so at peace with each other.

Then the next to find out were Aegon, your friends and also apparently "the rumor" started to go around the campus, among the girls more than anything else, announcing that Aemond Targaryen has a new girlfriend.

And it was confirmed the moment you and Aemond are seen walking across campus towards your apartment, both holding hands and not really caring much about the stares of others.

And because of how extremely popular Aemond is, he didn't hesitate for a second to show off, just a little bit, his relationship with you also on social media, uploading pictures of you or both of you together.

You also started posting some pictures with him, it's not like you have the same amount of followers as him, but you know almost the whole psychology department and you only confirmed more your relationship with him.

And with only a few weeks left after you and Aemond finally formalized everything, neither you nor he talked about moving back in together.

There was nothing Aemond wanted more, but he didn't want to pressure you if you didn't feel ready.

Gradually though, staying at the apartment so late and deciding to sleep over started to become unconscious, also staying in the mornings to have breakfast together and also bringing some of your things or clothes with you.

Aemond only suggested Vhagar to stay with him now and you accepted, that's why going to the apartment started to be more frequent, also sleeping over.

Both of you didn't say anything, but little by little that fact started to happen even for both of you not to agree on something. Aemond was giving you time to adjust and you were doing it without pressure.

Until it got to the point of always staying with him and having to leave your room in the residence free for someone who really needed it. In the end you talked it over with him and he gladly agreed to let you go back to the apartment.

You also talked about your job. You were not willing to quit and he understood you, he didn't reproach you for it or anything, you even agreed that some days he could pick you up.

And so things finally, little by little, between the two of you began to take shape after making the relationship official.

And honestly… the two of you couldn't be any better off.

"Wait, no, so… you're telling me… you and your best friend have been in love for years and neither of you knew…" Sara looks at you serious and incredulous, "Until now."

You let out a small laugh, swinging your feet back and forth constantly.

"Yes, that's exactly how it happened."

But Sara is having none of it, she questions you in disbelief and stares at you in total disbelief.

"Are you kidding?"

"You can't blame them either, that's what usually happens when they're best friends," Aileen tells her with more understanding.

"But wow," Ryan says now, slightly surprised, "You being the Targaryen boy's girlfriend is like you're a celebrity girlfriend. All the girls will be all over you knowing his reputation from before."

"He already explained that to me, so I'm not worried," you assure him.

"And how has it been going?" asks Sara with a smile, taking a sip of her drink, "You didn't date any Highgarden boys but you're dating Aemond Targaryen, who…" she makes a thoughtful face, nodding, "Yes, it's true, he's like a celebrity."

"As far as I know, everything's fine," Hel suddenly appears from the kitchen with a smile, drawing everyone's attention, "And if it isn't, the first thing I'll do is go against Aemond."

You smile at the arrival of Hel, who looks as radiant and striking as ever in a beautiful red dress and her platinum hair in a simple but pretty updo.

"Guys, this is Helaena, Aemond's sister and my advisor… pretty much in everything."

"'Her sister-in-law,' Hel says with a proud smile, waving to your friends.

You laugh and so do your friends, as you can see Ryan fidget a little nervously at Hel's arrival who talks to Sara and Aileen as if they've known each other all their lives, watching her a bit embarrassed, making you smile, knowing full well that Hel also has many admirers all over campus.

But that doesn't make you smile as much as when Aemond crosses the kitchen doorstep as well, looking for something or someone, but when his gaze meets yours, that little smile appears on his lips and you smile back at him.

He makes his way through all the people at the party crossing between the main living room of the huge fraternity house and the kitchen to get to you.

And when he does, you immediately wrap your arms around his neck and he wraps his hands around your waist, leaving a chaste kiss on your lips that you reciprocate with a smile.

"Here's my pretty one," he murmurs against your lips.

You smile some more.

"I missed you."

"Me too," he leaves one more kiss on your lips, "But people came who I didn't even know were my family, all the way from Oldtown and mom wanted us to stay and meet everyone."

"And how did that go?"

"Hmm… fine, yeah," he shrugs, "Nothing interesting, really."

You laugh at his unconcern when you can imagine his mother going crazy having so many guests from Oldtown.

"And where is Aegon?"

"He met some girls at the entrance, one of them he must be sticking his tongue down her throat by now."

You laugh again as he settles between your legs and you hug him by the shoulders, then he turns and greets Ryan, who is right in front of you and they both start talking and catching up.

Also little by little Hel corroborates in the conversation of both of them and so on until also Sara and Aileen also talk to him, finally your friends and your boyfriend having a conversation and getting along well.

At all times Aemond doesn't move away from you and doesn't fail to feel your touch as he takes your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours, those simple actions filling you up and making you feel more than happy.

Until at one point you can see how a group of girls also in the kitchen are watching the two of you and whispering constantly to each other, but watching especially you.

Ryan's words come to your mind and you try to distract yourself from thinking about it, but with their gazes on you it becomes impossible, while Aemond doesn't even notice.

When Aemond catches your attention and makes you forget about them as he turns to you and watches you with all that affection and all that adoration.

"Wanna dance?"

"In a moment. I want to play something first," you point to the beer pong tables.

"Babe, at the last party with just one round of beer pong you were already feeling dizzy," he tells you amused.

"That's not true," you say instantly indignant, "It must have been the heat, the people or something."

He laughs.

"Yeah, right."

"Besides, who was the last one who had to take care of whom?"

"See? You don't even remember," he says amused, "I took care of you last time."

You look away from him and grimace a little, smiling.

"Fine, now I'm the one at this party who's taking care of you."

"Hmm… nope," he leaves a kiss on your cheek, "I don't plan on drinking. I have to take care of my girl."

"Are you serious? Because I am taking it serious," you warn him.

"Yeah, if you want to drink, I'll take care of you," he assures you.

"You sure?"

"Very sure."

You smile and again the two of you share a slightly longer kiss, neither of you really caring that you're among friends and lots of people.

You did care at first, but Aemond didn't and he started to slowly make you stop caring too.

"There are my two love birds!"

Aegon's voice makes both of you break off and look at him, also your friends, as he enters the kitchen already with a drink in hand and completely smiling, heading towards where you are.

"What's up man?"

He gives Ryan a friendly high-five and makes his way over to head towards your friends and Hel.

"Sis, I already told you, you look good, girls you too, beautiful," he says in a flirty tone and finally his gaze falls on the two of you, "Sister-in-law! First time we've seen each other since you've been with my brother and you don't know the satisfaction it gives me to call you that."

You laugh and Aegon wraps you in a hug.

"Also finally seeing you, again, Egg."

"Don't call me that if you want to continue to have my approval, you little demon."

"Oh come on, even if you didn't want to, we'd still still be approved by you."

"I hate you."

And even though Aemond doesn't have to feel jealous, he still has that instinct and also the protective one, so he interferes, wanting to feel close to you again, nor him bearing himself.

"Okay, that's enough."

Aemond interrupts their moment by pulling Aegon away from you and settling back between your legs, him being the barrier between his brother and you or anyone else actually.

"So soon we've already started with your jealousy, little brother?"

"Hands where I can see them."

"Okay, Officer Targaryen," he says with a pout, "Dude, this is a party, relax."

You smile and leave a kiss on Aemond's cheek, that being enough to make him content again.

"And mom already knows about this?" asks Aegon interested, "You know she'll go crazy, right?"

"Why?" asks Aemond.

"She'll go crazy and probably start crying from happiness, obviously," he says obviously, "And not just her, but Nyra, Daeron, Jace too, Baela, Rhaena, even Uncle Daemon-oh my god, I can already see what he'll say-you know what? I'll send him a picture of you two right now," he quickly grabs his cell phone and starts typing like crazy, "the fucker is going to love this."

You can't help but laugh loudly at this as Aemond also puts on a smile and not too soon after, the party really starts to get going.

Aegon is the one who starts to set the mood more and pretty soon you find yourself dancing with Aemond and your friends.

Or rather you are hugging him, with him having his hands on your waist, both of you moving from time to time to the rhythm of the music but kissing.

You also sing a few songs together, even Aegon joins in the fun in every person who is dancing, but you can't help but not kiss.

Drinks fly here and there, Aemond drinks too, but it is you who drinks too much and soon enough you find yourself dizzy, sitting on a couch with Aemond next to you with one of his arms around your shoulders and your head on his chest.

Your friends keep you company, also Hel. You don't talk as you are recovering because you don't want to get really drunk while Aemond laughs and talks to your friends, but still from time to time he talks to you and watches you to ask you if you are ok, leaving kisses on your forehead or cheek.

The minutes pass and you observe all the party around you, until your gaze meets again with a whole group of girls watching Aemond and you, but more you.

And it catches your attention that right in that group of girls is Alys, in the middle of all of them, murmuring and having a funny little smile on her lips, watching you.

You press your lips together, letting out a long breath, not wanting to make a big deal out of it but finding it impossible because of the mocking way you know she's talking about you.

Honestly, you didn't even remember Alys anymore. And you know Aemond doesn't even think about her anymore either.

But seeing her now, you teleport back in time to your high school days with the rich girls being mean to you.

And at that moment you try not to let Alys get to you.

You know you shouldn't be ashamed, rather she should be ashamed of what she did to Aemond and with that you feel at ease, knowing that you are not a disgusting person like her.

But being a little drunk and dizzy at the moment, it's a little hard for you not to care.

"Babe? Are you listening to me?"

Aemond's words snap you out of your trance returning to the party and you look at him a bit confused.

"Mmm?"

He smiles at you in amusement.

"I asked you if you need anything."

"Oh," you close your eyes, sighing, "No, I'm fine, thanks."

"Sure? Don't you need a glass of water, go to the bathroom or get some air?"

"Hmm…" you say thoughtfully, "No."

He chuckles a little at your behavior and leaves a soft kiss on your lips.

"You want to go home already don't you?"

"What? No, of course not," you quickly tell him confused.

" Babe, I know perfectly well when you lie to me and believe me when you're drunk, I know it even more."

You let out a sound of frustration, closing your eyes tighter, hiding your face in his neck.

"I'm not drunk and I don't want to ruin the party for you. We can stay a little longer," you tell him apologetically.

"No, babe, it's okay," he assures you, "Come on, can you get up by yourself?"

" Babe, no, it's okay, we can stay…".

"I want to go too. Right now I want to be home, with Vhagar and you, so come on, can you get up or not?"

Soon enough, the two of you say goodbye to your friends and his siblings, and Aemond helps you with your balance as you both head to your car, as yes you can walk but at any moment you can go more to the left or right than you need to.

"I love you," you murmur to him as he sits you in the passenger seat and buckles you in.

He smiles.

"I love you too, my pretty one," he says to leave a kiss on your forehead and close the door.

And again very soon you find yourselves arriving at the apartment, where a happy Vhagar greets you, while Aemond leaves you on one of the sofas and goes to the kitchen to get you some water and something sweet to make the dizziness go away faster.

"Here you go, love."

"Thanks."

He also takes a seat next to you and you start eating the sweet bread he brought you, while Vhagar climbs up on the couch with both of you as well.

"Do you want to watch a movie before we go to sleep?"

He asks you watching you carefully and you nod with your mouth full.

Aemond turns on the TV and starts searching for something on Netflix, while you're almost done eating and drinking water, honestly starting to feel better without noise and with some food in your stomach.

When Aemond switches from Netflix to HBO to put on your favorite movie, Harry Potter.

And it's not even ten minutes into the movie when you finish eating and all of a sudden you say:

"I want to hug you."

Aemond smiles beside you.

"You can hug me, babe. I'm right here."

And with that you don't need to hear any more, you quickly move towards him.

But Aemond thought you would want to lay your head on his chest and he would want to hug you around the waist so you could watch the movie, however, you sit right on his lap, your arms around his neck and your face hidden, your back to the TV.

That takes him by surprise but he doesn't complain, on the contrary, he pulls you tighter against him, slipping his arms around you to wrap his arms around your waist.

"I'm sorry we left the party so early," you murmur in his ear, apologetic.

"No, it's okay," he murmurs softly and lovingly in your ear too, " This is how I want to be with you. This is how I always want to be."

You let out a long breath, clinging a little tighter to him, leaving a soft kiss on his neck, feeling so loved.

Then, unable to help yourself, you again leave a kiss on his neck, then begin to leave more in a trail down to his cheek and lips, holding his face with one of your hands.

Aemond smiles all the time, especially when you kiss him with so much need and so much passion that you drive him crazy and he kisses you with just the same feeling.

He pulls away from you to catch his breath and you continue kissing his neck, stroking his hair and stirring in his lap, which makes Aemond alarmed hold you tightly by the waist, preventing you from moving too much.

But you continue with your kisses, on his neck, all over his face and finally on his lips, kissing him in a way you have never kissed him before and Aemond corresponds happily.

When your breathing and also his starts to get heavier and your kisses more… needy.

You again want to move on top of him, but Aemond again stops you by stopping you from kissing and watching you with some alertness and also warning.

"Y/N."

"What?"

Again you kiss him, clinging more towards him if possible and Aemond kisses you too.

But your need clearly starts to mean something else and Aemond stops you again the moment you slip one of your hands under his shirt to feel his body.

"No, wait," he murmurs, stopping you from kissing, breathing hard.

"What? What's wrong?"

You look at him confused and he lets out a long breath.

"You're drunk," he says softly, wanting to make you understand.

"Aemond, I'm not drunk," you insist, "I just felt dizzy, that's all."

You look at him with all honesty and clearly with all willingness, but Aemond continues to look at you with some sorrow and hesitation, also a little serious, because he is not quite sure about it.

"Aemond, please…" you plead, bringing one of your hands to his cheek, " I am thinking, I am conscious and believe me I have never been so sober in my life."

He lets out a long breath, pulling his gaze away from yours, that definitely catching your attention and now watching him with confusion and some disappointment.

"Or is it that you…" you are embarrassed in an instant, "you don't want to do it?"

And at this Aemond immediately looks at you again, worried.

"What? No, no, no, it's not that, babe, it's just that….".

He looks at you unsure, while you continue to watch him attentively, wanting to know, your lips parted and swollen, as well as your whole look willing and full of desire, your eyes more than anything else, just the same way he is.

But he can't do it, not this way without first talking it out and you being sure to take that big step.

"Yet you drink and I can't and won't do this if you're not sure."

"But I am," you insist, "I'm more than sure."

And even though you've said so and you're totally showing him how sure and willing you are, he still doesn't feel convinced, watching you carefully and with some regret.

"I promise, I'm very sure," you say again to kiss him again with the same need as before.

And Aemond reciprocates your kiss, but still continuing to hold you tightly around your waist, preventing you from moving and making him lose control completely.

Even he doesn't know why he keeps resisting nor does he know what else he needs to hear from you to do this, but your drinking earlier stops him completely.

He thinks you're telling him you're safe but you may still be influenced by alcohol and that's just what he doesn't want.

But you really are sober. You really want to do this.

You kiss him with such longing, passion and determination, to continue leaving wet kisses all over his neck, making him sigh and even more reason to control himself at that moment.

"Y/N," again he warns you.

"I want this, please," you beg, "I want this so badly," you murmur in his ear, leaving a few more kisses, caressing his abdomen over his shirt, "Let me show you how much."

His words alert you, but in an instant, you pull away just a little from him and remove your shirt, exposing your breasts covered by your black bra, watching him with desire and even with all that willingness.

Aemond holds his breath completely, surprised, watching you seriously, not being able to avoid looking at your breasts just for a second to look you in the eyes again.

"If you don't want to do this, say so now, Aemond," you ask him.

Then you, there in front of him, half naked, makes his gaze darken and his pupil grow larger, filling him completely with desire at the sight of you and definitely unable to resist any longer.

And now it is he who attacks your lips in a needy kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him, while you respond in the same way, pleased.

You begin to move on top of him and this time he doesn't stop you, no longer able to control the notorious desire in his pants that begins to grow and that you begin to feel, only making you want more.

"You're so pretty," he murmurs against your lips, completely aroused, running his hands down your back, reaching for the clip of your bra.

"You're so beautiful too, Aemond," you reply between kisses, "I love you."

"I love you too."

You do the work for him and remove your bra in one motion, dropping it somewhere on the couch, not really caring.

Aemond grunts, definitely not being able to take it anymore and in an instant he places both of his hands on your ass and lifts you up to get up himself as well, carrying you towards his room, both of you without stopping kissing.

And that night, Aemond caressed every part of you and treated you like the petal of a flower, taking care not to hurt you and making you feel good at all times.

And you loved every moment, clinging to him, kissing his scar and repeating over and over again how much you love him, while he continued to make sure you were okay.

You took all the time in the world, there was nothing rushed and nothing forced, the two of you more than comfortable and letting yourselves be completely carried away by the moment, feeling so loved and so lucky.

That night… Aemond was yours and you were his, completely.

And in the end, you both couldn't have felt better, looking forward to what awaited you next, finally together.