#please reblog and read them!! these books deserve the hype

[ineffable-dads]

Don't Wait Up

Ineffable Husbands, Ineffable Dads, Light Angst, Mentions of Bullying, Hurt/Comfort, Protective!Crowley, Child!OC

Ineffable Dads Masterlist

A/N: Hey! I'm not dead. With all the hype around season 2, I remembered this was still kicking around my files and decided to finally finish it. I have NOT had a chance to watch season 2 so if this isn't in keeping with new information, I apologize. Please no spoilers in the meantime. Once I get a chance to watch it, I'll likely have plenty of thoughts to share. Thanks!

Also, PLEASE COMMENT AND REBLOG IF YOU LIKE THIS. I NEED VALIDATION TO LIVE!

Summary: Aziraphale finds himself waiting for Isabelle to come home from her first date. Unfortunately, humans can be rather unpredictable creatures.

Word Count: 1.9K

Aziraphale wasn’t waiting up. He had no reason to. Isabelle had been very clear on that score. 

She was going to meet a boy from school at the cinema. She had told Aziraphale what time it started and when she’d likely be back. He had nothing to worry about and therefor had no reason to wait up.  The fact he had decided to catch up on some reading while taking a seat closest to the front door was a mere coincidence.

His eyes scanned over the pages, but halfway down the second, realized he hadn’t truly read any of it. With a slight huff, he set the book down and leaned back in the chair.

He really shouldn’t worry. Crowley certainly wasn’t as he made himself comfortable watching telly in the other room. Still, the whole thing nagged at him.

It wasn’t as if he were keeping vigil over Isabelle’s virtue or whatever it was fathers were so paranoid about to the point of threatening young suitors with violence. What Isabelle decided to do or not to do was entirely her decision. She was a smart girl after all and had been taught from a young age not to be afraid of the word no. All the same, he knew he’d feel much better once he saw her come through the door safe and sound. Isabelle might be good at saying no, but it didn’t mean other people listened.

That was the real crux of the issue, he supposed. Other humans. There was no telling what they would do.

With a slight effort, he got up from the chair, adjusting his waistcoat as he did so.  No point in pretending to read.  She’d be another hour at least. Might as well make some tea and think of something else to do. Maybe he’d even give that show a try Crowley seemed so addicted to.

Just as that rather shuddering thought ran through his mind, the front door clicked open. Relief immediately spread through him as he turned towards the entrance.

“Ah, Belle you’re back. How was your evening?”

She ignored him, keeping her head down as she quickened her pace toward stairs.  The smile which had appeared on the angel’s face quickly disappeared.

“Dear, are you alright?”

Isabelle didn’t answer. She only let out a shuttered breath of one trying hold back tears and failing.  She just ran the rest of the way up as fast as she could before slamming the door to her room shut.

Aziraphale blinked, finding himself standing rather uselessly at the bottom of the stairs. Of course, she wasn’t alright. Something had to have gone wrong if she came back this early. Different scenarios flashed across his mind, most of them ending with Isabelle giving a boy a well-deserved slap, but none of them provided him any useful insight.

“Was that Izz?” Crowley said, poking his head out from his study, undoubtedly clued in by the proceeding bang. “Something wrong?”

“Um yes,” Aziraphale said distractedly.  “Don’t worry. I’ll handle it.”

Before Crowley could get another word in, the angel walked up the stairs, and stopped just in front of Isabelle’s door.

“Belle?” he called gently. “Dearest, what’s wrong?”

He received no answer, aside from the muffled cries.

“Isabelle please open the door. I promise you’ll feel much better if you let me in.”

“Go away,” her voice came tiredly.

“Alright, you don’t have to open the door,” he conceded. “Just talk.  What happened?”

“Nothing,” she said, more forcefully this time. “Just leave me alone.”

He gave small sigh, halfway between exasperated and concerned.

“Belle what have I told you about lying?”

“You do it all the time.”

He pulled back, his brows furrowing. “Now that is a bit of an exaggeration.”

“You let people think you’re human, that’s lying.”

“That’s different, if I went around saying--,” he stopped himself, directing a tight-lipped expression straight into the door frame.  “Now that is completely off the subject.”

There was a pause. Aziraphale could practically hear her annoyed look at being caught.

He took a deep breath. “Dear,” he said as his voice slipped back to its parental tone, “please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Isabelle snapped. “Can’t I just not want to talk about something? Leave me alone!”

Aziraphale jerked back from the door, startled by her outburst.  He opened his mouth to retaliate, but quickly realized it would do no good.  For whatever reason, she wasn’t going to talk to him. 

A slight pain came to his chest at the thought.

There had been times Isabelle kept things to herself, but not for long and never anything serious. She knew she could tell him and Crowley anything. Yes, he had read enough books to know finding independence was part of the growing pains of adolescent, but he hadn’t thought it meant she would willingly shut him out.  He felt rather stuck about the whole thing and slowly made his way back downstairs, chewing his bottom lip the whole way.

He was so caught up in his own thoughts, he was a little surprised to find Crowley waiting for him, arms crossed, and stone faced.

“What happened,” he demanded.

“I don’t know,” Aziraphale said, sadly.  “She came in crying and went straight to her room.”

The demon’s brows creased. “She was crying?”

“Yes, she tried her best to hide it, poor dear.  I don’t know what happened, but it must have been something very bad.”

Crowley nodded.  “Right, best let me take the lead.”

“What are you going to do?” Aziraphale asked.

“Tough love.”

He then turned his attention up the stairs.

“Izz! I’m coming up!”

It was her only warning as he stormed the steps with a determination which normally left Aziraphale flustered.  And he was, rather, having followed him halfway up the stairs before he knew what his legs were doing.

“What part of ‘leave me alone’ do you not understand?” she shouted back as Crowley reached the landing.

“All of it,” he said. “Now let me in.”

“No!”

“Izz, I have respected your privacy by asking, but using my authority as your father I’m coming in anyway.”

He snapped his fingers and there was no longer a door.

Isabelle sat up on her bed, her eyes flashing with tears and anger.

“That’s not fair!” she shouted.

“Lesson one for the evening, life isn’t fair,” he said sternly. “Lesson two, privacy is an illusion.  Now are you going to tell me why you’re crying?”

“It doesn’t matter!” she snapped. “I just need to cry, okay? Sometimes you just need to cry. It’s human.  It’s a very human thing to do.  Now can’t I just cry?!”

It was then Isabelle finally caught Aziraphale’s eye. The anger was still there, but it was obvious just how hurt she truly was. He hadn’t seen her eyes so red since she had broken her arm after attempting a rather precarious trick on the monkey bars. This was different though. He couldn’t miracle it away, for one. 

Isabelle instantly put her head down looking ashamed at having both of them see her like this.

“Oh dear,” Aziraphale said, crossing the room toward her.  He took a seat on the bed and quickly wrapped her in a hug.  “There, there, it will be alright.”

Isabelle tried her best to look annoyed at his gesture, but her body language gave her away as she leaned into the embrace. In all honestly, it made him feel just a bit better too. At least he felt like he was doing something useful.

“Dearest, what’s wrong?” the angel tried again.

She let out another shuddering breath, shaking her head. “It’s stupid. It was a stupid joke.  I’m stupid to have fell for it. I’m sorry.”

“What joke was that?” he asked.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Isabelle,” Crowley said.

That got both their attentions. 

Aziraphale looked up at him and saw an uncharacteristically soft look on his face as he looked Isabelle right in the eyes.

It wasn’t the first time he had given that look, but it was a rare enough thing, that Aziraphale always felt a little off balance at seeing it. There was something different about it, just a glimmer of that angel he used to be back before the world.

The girl in his arms seemed to feel the same thing as whatever fight she had left in her slipped away.

“It was all a joke,” she said quietly.  “Thomas asking me out.  It was all a joke.”

Both Aziraphale and Crowley remained silent allowing her to continue.

“He told me to meet him at the cinema, so I did.  After a while it looked like he was going to be late so I texted him and he told me he was sorry, that he got caught up with school stuff and he’d meet me there in a bit so we could get dinner.  So, I waited and about half an hour later he drove up with his friends and they just started laughing.”

She let in a sharp breath as she started to feel the familiar tightness in her throat.

“They just thought it was really funny.  I mean c’mon it’s hilarious, why on earth would the school freak think that anyone would be interested.”

The tears were flowing freely now.

“I mean how naive is that? It’s so stupid.  I’m so stupid.”

She tried to compose herself, but every attempt she made seemed to make it worse.

“I’m sorry. I should have seen it coming.  You taught me how to spot liars and I didn’t. I’m smarter than this.”

She broke down again no longer having it in her to form words.  Aziraphale pulled her in tighter and she let him.  He slowly rocked her back and forth rubbing her back soothingly.

“Shhh, it’s alright, you have nothing to apologize for.  That’s it.  Just let it all out.”

Crowley for his part said nothing as the last of Isabelle’s tears trickled down her cheeks.  His stance was much stiffer now with balled knuckles and hardened gaze.  Something was brewing deep inside his mind and, needless to say, it was decidedly unpleasant.

Isabelle eventually calmed down and Aziraphale let her go with the promise of coco and the fact it would be better in the morning.  She only half believed him, but accepted the idea of coco with as much enthusiasm as one could muster after having their feelings stamped on.

Both Aziraphale and Crowley left the room in mutual silence not speaking until they reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Poor dear,” Aziraphale said.  “It’s going to take a while to recover from this.  She’s really taken what those boys said to heart.”

“Yes,” Crowley said, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but mental scars are forever, or something like that.  You got this angel?”

“Yes,” he said suspiciously. “Why do you ask?”

“Got to take care of something.” The demon then grabbed his keys, coat, and sunglasses before heading out the door. “Don’t wait up.”

Aziraphale did not need to ask what it was that Crowley needed to take care of, or more accurately who. 

He also knew somewhere, deep down, he should intervene, but the crying girl upstairs gave him pause.  He didn’t know exactly what Crowley had in mind, and if he didn’t know, there was no real way he could reasonably stop him.  Aziraphale was satisfied with this circular logic and allowed himself to settle in for the night. There was no need to wait up, after all.

[mickey-milkovichs]

As promised my list (so far) of Toxic Obsessive Homoerotic Friendship book recs, part 1! This list is my top ten, from most favorite to not quite as favorite (but still awesome) according to my own taste. I wanted to include pictures but it was a nightmare. I will make part two as soon as I can! Please give me your recs if you have any :) A lot of these books have heavy topics so please look up trigger warnings!

1. Black Iris by Elliot Wake (formerly known as Leah Raeder and the book is under that name)

Laney, a fresh high school graduate, meets two older college students, a boy and a girl, and they form a friendship and have different dynamics between all three of them. At the same time, she’s still dealing with a boy who bullied her in high school.

2. If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio

In present day, Oliver is being released from prison after being convicted of a violent crime. In the past we visit him and his close group of friends as they study at a very prestigious and exclusive Shakespeare acting academy, and learn what really happened.

3. These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever

Paul meets Julien in a freshman college Criminology class and they start an intense and possibly dangerous friendship in the 1970s.

4. The Wicker King by K. Ancrum

August struggles when his childhood best friend starts having hallucinations.

5. Girls on Fire by Robin Wasserman

Three girls, one popular, one a rebel, and one a wallflower have tangled friendships with each other in the 1990s.

6. Underneath Everything by March Beller Paul

Mattie, a high school student, reflects on her lost friendship with her best friend, Jolene. Is it over for good or is there a possibility for friendship again in the future?

7. The World Cannot Give by Tara Isabella Burton

Laura, a high school junior attends a boarding school that was the setting of her favorite novel, and becomes obsessed with the church choir there and the very religious girl who leads them.

8. The Lightness by Emily Temple

In search of her missing father, Olivia goes to a mountain top Buddhist retreat and becomes a part of a group of girls who are obsessed with learning how to levitate.

9. Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls by Lynn Weingarten

June is filled with grief after her childhood best friend dies. She commits herself to finding out what happened.

10. The Falling Girls by Haley Krishner

After Shade decides to join the cheerleading squad at her high school, thereby disregarding her longtime best friend’s feelings, tensions rise among all of the girls involved.

[gay-prentiss]

Where I Stood - S.R

Spencer Reid x gender neutral BAU Reader

Summary: Reader and Spencer start to pull away from each other after JJ confesses her feelings to Spencer while they were held hostage in LA, and reader cant take it anymore.

Word Count: 706 (shes short again and not that sweet this time)

Content warnings: angst, spencer being abandoned (again), obvious allusion to j*id confession, indefinite ending

A/n: uh. im sorry? alsjsksj im so sorry i have no idea where this even came from. sad bitch winter ig 😔 anyways this is sorta a songfic as well, the letter reader leaves spencer and the title is are inspired by ‘where i stood’ by missy higgins. you can listen to it here, but it works as a stand alone heart breaker as well. also huge huge huge thank you to @will-on-the-internet , @sadgirlml and @writingquillsandpainpills for hyping this up and zahra again for proofreading for me. i love you all so fucking bad you have no idea. n e ways thank you for reading and if u like it reblogs would be appreciated 😋😋

Spencers POV:

They weren't at work and they haven't been answering my calls all day. I was beginning to worry. It wasn't like them to be like this. They've been distant recently after what happened in LA between JJ and I, but never anything like this. Even on their worst days, they'd still let me know they were safe.

I unlocked the front door to our apartment to find it deathly silent. “Y/n? You home?”

Nothing.

I walked over to the coffee table where their favourite book sat, and next to it was a letter. Addressed to me.

No. No no no. Not again. Please god not again.

I feel my eyes tearing up. As I reach out with a shaky hand to open the letter, I notice the paper smells like their perfume.

“My dearest Spencer,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way I’ve been lately but I need to get this off my chest because I know you won't let me leave without a fight and I just can't be talked out of this one. I've had this nagging voice in my head ever since you told me what happened during the case in LA that told me to run. That told me I’m not good enough for you and that I never will be. Initially I thought I was being dramatic and insecure, but then I would observe the way you look at her. Like a new fire had been ignited in your heart to replace the one you had for me. You both would steal glances and soft smiles from each other and I felt left in the shadows. I brushed it off as silly voices and self sabotage, but the team started to notice too. What's worse is that they asked me about it. Asked me if we were okay. Pen even asked me if we’d broken up. That’s when I realised it wasn't in my head. I was falling behind her, and in that moment I felt truly lost.

I really don't know if I could stand another hand upon you. But I do know that this is what's right, at least for the foreseeable future. She will love you in ways that I never could, and you really deserve that Spencer. You deserve real, true love. And all this isn't to say that we can never speak again. You mean more to me than anyone I've ever loved. You taught me how to trust myself and I owe you everything I have for that.

I got an offer at the DC office that I’ve decided I’m going to take. It's the second hardest decision I’ve ever had to make but I need to be away from everything for a while.

I don't know who I am without you, but I have to do this. I'm sorry. I love you.

Yours always,

Y/n”

When I glanced over the letter again I noticed that I'd cried on it, my tears slightly smudging the ink of the words that tore my heart in two.

I needed to speak to them. To explain things. I can't lose them too.

I select their number in my phone and dial it, praying to whatever gods exist that they pick up so I can at the very least say goodbye if explaining myself won't convince them to stay.

“Hi! You've reached y/n! Please don't leave me a voicemail, its 2022. Send me a text”

I hear the beep and pour my heart out.

“Y/n it's me. Spencer. I read your letter and I need you to know that I'm sorry. I’m so so sorry if you ever thought you were second best because youre not. you're not. I did love her but I love you. now. right now. Please, whenever you're ready, call me. Talk to me. Let me know that you're safe at least. I love you y/n. only you and-” the robot voice interrupts me before I can finish.

“Your message has been saved and will be sent as an audio message”

I hang up, pull up my text messages and start typing;

Spencer: Please sweetheart, just listen to the voice message. It's always been you. Always.

And now I wait.

——————————

A/n (again sorry lmao): i hope you guys liked it! its currently like 4am as im typing this note im so dead but i wanted the fic out by saturday so here i am lol. im also open to part 2’s, and it doesnt have to be a happy ending either. im also open to doing multiple endings, so if you guys have ideas please feel free to send them to my ask box! ily all kith kith.

[leneemusing]

book/comic elitism among fandoms is ableist

strap in this is about to be a very uncomfortable conversation. and i am asking neurotypicals to reblog this as well, even if you have not partook in these sort of behaviors. it’s way too common and we all suffer when people are elitist. (in the spirit of accessibility this post will not be formatted into small font but feel free to edit it for your own needs accordingly)

some people have disabilities that makes reading hard. for me personally, i’m dyslexic, i have arthritis which causes fatigue, and i’m also in the process of getting diagnosed with autism. there are factors of each of these things that make it really hard for me to get into books these days. reading is work for me. if i want to consume a story and enjoy it, watching it is what’s easiest and most comfortable. movies and shows are more accessible for people like me. 

and this isn’t specifically a neurodivergent aspect, but the way i process information is that i need a visual input. i have a hard time retaining things if i only read them. auditory information along with visuals is perfect for me. and as a roleplayer, the energy and effort i put into reading most of the time goes towards my threads and interactions here. if i tried to read every single book series i watch movies and shows for, i wouldn’t have the energy to write. 

this is an especially rampant issue in the rpc when it comes to there being divides between book canon verses show/movie canon. looking down on newcomers and being annoyed when something you’ve enjoyed is getting hype because of an adaption. feeling like it’s ‘just a trend now.’ and i want to say listen, even as someone neurodivergent i’ve fallen into this. i love marvel comics and get frustrated sometimes when people don’t know more about the canon from them or don’t look things up before reacting to the MCU. but it’s behavior that has to be corrected. because just like comics are easier for me to consume than regular books, some people have disabilities that make comics overwhelming. or that makes trying to research book canon hard to do. 

not everyone consumes media the same way and that’s okay. no one is more or less of a fan or less intelligent or deserving of getting to write characters just because of how they consumed the canon. 

please shift your way of thinking and look into the privileges you have when consuming media. look at sharing the book canon you have as a joy. i love getting to infodump and explain the comic origins of my favorite superheroes. it’s really fun to share what aspects of comics appealed to me. turn it into a conversation and appreciate the fact you both are adoring the same story. it’s not a competition. 

[luna-the-moth]

Mammon with a Shy Singer (SFW)

Hello love! Ehe, I write short fics once in a while, but they’re mainly bursts of inspiration. Before this was sent, yes, short fics were allowed to be requested, but it turns out, a short fic steals all my spoons for a few days. So, I adjusted my rules yesterday. From now on, please only send requests for headcanons or scenarios!

This will be in hc/scenario form! GN! Reader, SFW. Asks and requests are open, but please read my rules and guidelines before doing so!

Reblogs, likes, and comments are greatly appreciated!

Mammon with a Shy Singer (SFW)

Mammon was always known to be the life of the party, hyping everyone up and keeping things interesting.

He had a penchant for creating music once in a while, specifically rap music.

-gestures to his character song-

Whenever a rave or concert happened, he would always bring you as his plus one, singing along with the main act.

Which, drew his fandemons’ attention to him, but there was often security preventing them from flooding him, so there wasn’t much to worry about.

There was one occasion he had asked you to join in, but you had declined, self consciousness clouding your decision.

Which, Mammon completely understood.

Well, he pouted and whined for a few moments, but let it go relatively quickly.

We all have things we aren’t proud of, or don’t want to show to others.

The thing is, you didn’t think your singing was bad.

In fact, your voice was quite lovely, you were merely self conscious about singing in front of others.

As a hobby, you had written multiple songs, in private.

While you had thought they sounded nice, the thought of singing in front of others made you freeze up.

It’s just, having people look at you while singing made you nervous.

Judging eyes, watching your every move, even the thought of it made you cringe.

So you had written and sang in private, hidden from any intruding eyes or ears.

However, as time went on, you grew feelings for the Avatar of Greed.

Sure, he may steal people’s Grimm, act all high and mighty, but that’s exactly why you loved him.

Because it was an act.

And a very poor act, you might add.

While he always pulled a tough, macho, entitled act, it would only take a few words of affirmation to get him blushing.

He deserves it, though!

After all, being belittled and knocked down by his brothers 24/7 is tiring, and wore down his self esteem.

Which left him with the cocky defense mechanism we see today.

But after you had shown him genuine kindness and affection, his facade had crumbled away, revealing a soft, love-starved demon.

How could you not have fallen in love with him?

The problem is, you didn’t know how to confess.

Sure, you could write him a love letter or text him, but you felt that it was too generic, too basic.

So why not write a song, professing your love for him?

You would nudge away your shyness, and confess your love for him at the same time!

Hitting two crows- uh, birds with one stone!

Over the next few weeks, you carefully picked out your favorite lines from various books of poetry, adjusting them to fit the mood you were going for.

You weren’t going for a full-out love-sick ballad that gave you cavities, more like something sweet, lighthearted, and conveyed your message effectively.

In the meantime, this meant you were spending less time with Mammon.

As you can probably guess, it didn’t go over well with the Avatar of Greed.

I mean, it’s in the name, Avatar of G r e e d.

It didn’t just apply to money, as others had assumed.

No, it extended to your time and love as well, which frankly, you weren’t going to complain about.

But it was difficult, dodging his inquiries on where you were going, and why.

Luckily, Asmo covered for you every time, letting you stay in his room for ‘self care’, when in fact, you were composing your music.

Which, you supposed is a form of self care?

Pouring out your emotions into your music is a way of self care, right?

Asmo was your wingman, cheering you on and helping you perfect certain verses, and helping you with the occasional vocal warm up.

Day by day, you gradually built on your piece, tweaking and changing notes and pitches as necessary.

Mammon on the other hand, was growing increasingly anxious, insecurities starting to bubble up again.

Was he not good enough?

Did you prefer Asmo to him? You’ve been spending a lot of time with him after all.

He started spending more time at the casino, drowning his sorrows in the rolling of dice.

After all, he didn’t want to trouble you, thinking you might start seeing him as an annoyance, a pest.

Meanwhile, you had been polishing up the lyrics of your song, finally ready to confess.

So on the day of your confession, you had caught Mammon right before dinner, gently grabbing his arm before he rushed out the door.

“Hey Mammon, wait. Could you come with me to my room real quick before you leave? There’s something important I need to show you.”

With softly spoken words and a subtly pleading expression, you had given him a shy attempt at puppy eyes.

He was about to give you a weak, snarky remark, but how could he, now that you looked at him with such an adorable expression?

It’s not like he could ever say no to you, anyways.

Not just because of the pact either.

During the first week of your stay at the Devildom, Mammon had been smitten.

You were kind to him, and didn’t use harsh words to order him around.

Hell, within a month, you had already won over his heart, and soul.

(That is, if demons have souls. OM canon is a clusterfuck, so do correct me in the comments if I’m wrong.)

Over the past few weeks that you’ve been songwriting, he had grown lonely, wanting your affection and attention.

So the moment you had asked for his attention, he wanted to immediately latch on, but wanted to stay away at the same time, not wanting to seem desperate.

Mammon had ‘reluctantly’ agreed, to which you gently tugged his arm, motioning him to follow you.

When he had entered your room, you motioned for him to sit on the bed, nerves starting to build up in your mind.

Exhaling quickly, you reached for the guitar next to your desk.

Gently strumming the guitar, you poured your heart out to him.

How you adored his soft heart, his protective nature, and that he would always be, your dear guardian.

During your performance, Mammon’s eyes were wide, he was just so surprised that you were singing, and in front of him

If that didn’t make his pride swell-

The entire time you’re singing, he listens to every word flowing out of your mouth, treasuring each message.

Your voice was so soft and gentle, he nearly fell asleep at the comforting lull.

He’s grateful that you sang to him, and trusted him enough to sing in front of him.

After all, he knows how difficult it is to open up to someone on a subject you’re shy or self conscious about.

By the time you’ve finished singing, Mammon’s mouth is slightly parted in awe, eyes blurry with tears.

He’s so touched that you did such a heartfelt thing for him, and that you put the time and effort into making a song out of all things.

Setting the guitar down, you look at him nervously.

“Well...what do you think?”

Mammon walks over to you, letting your face rest in the palm of his hand, wrapping the other around your waist.

“That was the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done fer me. I’m glad ya trust me enough to sing ta me. I love ya, Y/n.”

Gently kissing the crown of your head, he pulls you in for a tight, comforting embrace, a stray tear falling from the corner of one of his angelic eyes.

[serenablackter]

Since my last post got a little love I am again here!!!!!

Heheheh

(Mind my grammar, I don't use grammarly)

Today's ranting is gonna be about how less diversity there are in novels.

Have you ever read a book where there was enough of races or genders or sexuality? I haven't.

The books we adore the most have the least diversity in them - I am looking at you sjm and jk fans.

I ain't gonna say the books suck, because the plot was awesome but announcing a character was gay all this time just doesn't work.

And please don't come at me saying - "but what about drarry (draco + harry)?" NO. It's a thing you follow which sucks btw. Yeah it does sound interesting, the enemies to lovers trope. But HARRY with draco? That's like Thor being with Thanos.

And what irks me the most is that the only black character in tog dies to push ahead a white woman's agenda.

And don't even get me started on how they write the lgbtq+ characters. It's like their whole personality is being a lgbtq+.

Trans characters are never even there in books.

People need to feel accepted, and for that to happen a change must be there.

So many.... and I mean it, so many books didn't get the hype they deserved just cause they have a BIPOC or LGBTQ+ protagonist. If this books don't sell, then authors might just stop writing them.

I am sure most of the readers who say they read diverse books have only read The Gilded Ones. (no offence though, that book is sooooo good!)

I feel like taking a vow to only read books if they the representation in them.

Thanks for hearing out my ted talk! Reblog or like is agree <3

[lonelyreputation]

First Time

A/N: Back with some more fluff! I was gonna wait a few weeks to post this, to really tweak it, but I love it too much and it’s so fluffy so I decided to share it now 😌 So please enjoy what I think taking a bath with Shawn for the first time would be like!! 

And thank you to everyone who has reblogged my work or said nice words to me 🥺 It really makes me heart flutter and I swear one day I’m gonna print all of the nice words out and put them in a book bc you all are too nice 😪

THANKS A MILLION for all of your support! Reblogs are never expected, but always appreciated!! 🤗💞🌻

REQUEST/PROMPT: Slipping into warm water

Let’s Chat!! | MASTERLIST

Warnings: Two swear words & being naked (but like nothing ~happens…it’s just a bath)

Word Count: 3.9K

Shawn was stressed.  

You knew he was pushing his creativity to maximum capacity when he would come back to his apartment with eyes that looked completely drained, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek before retreating his bedroom.

He was currently in the midst of writing and recording his next album.  And he was feeling the pressure from his fans, industry executives, and himself to put out an album even better than his self titled record.

But how can I achieve something better than that, he would say with a strained voice, his head buried into his hands, it was nominated for a Grammy.

You tried your best to reassure him; that his fans, the executives, and you would love whatever he put out if he had his heart and soul in it.  You had no idea what the woes of fame did to a person’s self-esteem and would never know the pressure of releasing a record.  But you knew that Shawn was a people pleaser.  He wanted to make everyone happy even if it came at his expense.

At a loss for not knowing what to do to cheer him up, you called Aaliyah.

“He hasn’t done it in a while…” her tone was thoughtful, but then she backtracked, “But I dunno if he would want me to tell you.”

“A, please,” you begged your boyfriend’s younger sister as you stretched out on the couch, “I’m looking for anything.  He’s so stressed, he’s barely eating the salad that I make sure he takes with him before he leaves.”

She rushed out her sentence in one breath, “Helikestotakebaths.”

You sat up, “He what?”

With your question, Aaliyah let out a sigh and repeated herself more slowly this time, “He likes to take…baths.”

“A bath?”

There was hesitancy on the other end before adding in an important detail, “Sometimes with…bubbles.”

“Oh?”

“And maybe,” her voice was barely above a whisper, “some candles.”

A small smile graced your lips, your boyfriend surprised you more and more everyday, “Really?”

“You have to swear to me you won’t tell him I told you,” Aaliyah said in an assertive tone, “He cannot know I told you.”

You nodded your head with a smile on your face, you were happy to have gotten something to help Shawn de-stress, “Swear on my life––You’re the best, A.”

After catching up with Aaliyah and hearing what she’s been up to the past few weeks, she had to go and do some chores she’d been procrastinating for a few days.  You bid her goodbye, thanking her again for her help and promising her again to not tell her brother that she let his secret slip.

You hung up and looked at the time.  Three o’clock. You had an hour or so before Shawn was due back so you hopped off the couch and made your way to the master bathroom.  With your hands on your hips, you looked at the tub with a questioning gaze.  Not once had you ever thought that Shawn was someone who was into baths.  You didn’t even think he had touched the faucet of the big white tub.  

But you were trusting Aaliyah with your life so you got to work.  

First, you checked the cabinets under the sink for any bubble bath supplies.  No luck.  Next, you checked the medicine cabinet for anything.  Rummaging through extra bottles of shampoo, soap, cologne…you were about to give up, but there was no other place Shawn would keep anything bathroom related.  He was very particular with how he organized his apartment.  Group like things together, Shawn tsked you when he helped you move into your new apartment, that way things will never get lost.

He was right; grouping like things together did make it easier to find certain things when you thought they were misplaced.  And you thanked the heavens above when you knelt down on the ground, pushing a few empty cardboard boxes aside, to find a little plastic basket with some bubble bath supplies.  

You made a mental note to text Aaliyah another thank you.

Dragging out the basket, you looked in and saw that the bubbles he had weren’t anything expensive. Just a regular run of the mill brand name bubbles.  Usually Shawn liked to splurge on some stuff if he never got the chance to do it often, and with Aaliyah saying he never took baths often, it made you wonder what was holding him back from buying really nice bubbles.  And in the basket were also two lavender scented candles.

You took the candles out immediately and found some matches hidden in the basket as well.  Candles could burn for a long time and it was better to get a head start on those than forget them later on.

With the scent of lavender filling up the room, you took your phone out and texted Shawn: Any idea when you’ll be back? :)

You didn’t want to run the bath too early, fearing that the water would get cold before he even got back to his place.

You unlocked your phone when it buzzed in your hand: Just leaving now.  So tired.  Be home in twenty? Something like that.

Your heart dropped when you read his message.  So tired.  Maybe he wouldn’t be up for a bath?  Maybe he just wanted to go to bed?

No, you told yourself, he’s been stressed and unhappy and deserves something relaxing.

You waited five minutes before opening up the Find My Friends app and clicked on Shawn’s name to track his location.  You saw his little circle of a contact picture moving down a street, the app telling you he was fifteen minutes away.  

Game time, you hyped yourself up as you turned on the faucet to the bath.  You ran your hand under the water until it was at a slightly hotter temperature than comfortable.  You figured that if you ran the water fairly hot right now, it would be at a comfortably warm temperature by the time Shawn got back.  So you put the plug in the drain and watched the tub slowly fill up with water.  When it was a quarter of the way full, you got the bottle of bubbles and squeezed only a little bit in.  You pampered yourself with a bubble bath one time and accidentally put in too many bubbles which ended up being disastrous.

And you didn’t want this to be disastrous for Shawn.  It was supposed to be relaxing.  And Lord knows he wouldn’t be relaxed if you flooded his bathroom.

Once the bath was filled to the appropriate height, you turned the faucet off.  Admiring your work, you didn’t hear the front door open.

“Y/n?”

Shawn’s voice rang through his apartment as butterflies fluttered throughout your stomach.  You hurriedly exited his bathroom, walked through his bedroom and greeted him in the kitchen.

You walked in with a glowing smile on your face, a skip in your step, but when you saw him sitting on one of the barstools, arms resting on the island with his head buried deep, your smile dropped.

Cautiously, you walked up behind him and slid your arms up his back and began to softly rub his shoulders.  He looked absolutely drained and it broke your heart.  Sure, you knew artist’s liked to pour their everything into creating music, but this was borderline insane.  

You pressed a soft kiss to the back of his neck, not exactly knowing what to say.  If you asked him about the studio, he would say something that would belittle himself for not writing or singing well enough.  If you asked how he felt, he would just tell you that he felt tired.

But luckily you didn’t have to say anything.  With his head still tucked away, he let out a low hum, “Missed you.”

The only thing you concentrated on was how exhausted he sounded.

“Missed you too,” you brought your hands to wrap around his torso, leaning forward and hugging him from behind, “Long day?”

You felt his back release a deep deep sigh, “The longest.”  You were second guessing the bath that was drawn.  He sounded like all he wanted to do was sleep for the next ten years, “Just wanna be with you.”

And then an idea struck your mind.  

The bath was originally meant to just only be for Shawn.  You wanted him to have time for himself, something he rarely had nowadays, but with his confession of wanting to be with you…

You unwound your arms from him and brought your arms to pull him up by his shoulders.  With a groan, he sat up all the way, but his eyes were still closed, “I really just wanna sleep––“

“Come with me,” you interrupted him as you took his hands and helped him up from the bar stool.  He followed you, but with slumped shoulders and eyes barely open.  He paused in the middle of his bedroom, the arm that connected your hand that held his, over stretching as you kept walking.

He pulled his eyebrows together, “Sleep?”

You let out a small laugh, he sounded like a toddler, speaking only the bare minimum.  Shaking your head you tugged his hand, “I have one small thing for you before we go to sleep.”

“But, Y/n––“

“Trust me.”

He continued to stay put in the middle of his room.  He glanced back at his bed, the sheets tempting him to crawl under and pass out.  But then he looked at you, your eyes pleading with him to follow you.  He gave into your eyes; he always did.

You tugged on his hand once more before he trailed behind you.  You smiled at the smell of lavender that was more prevalent now than it was when you first lit the candles up.  The bathroom lights were dimmed, but when you looked over your shoulder, you saw Shawn looking at the bath, then at you, at the candles, and back at you.

“What is––Did you do this?”

Turning your body to face him you gave his hand a slight squeeze as you stepped forward to him, toes touching, “You’ve been so stressed and I thought this might help relax you.”

His eyes continued to dart between the bath, the candles, and you, “But this––the bath––For me?”

You nodded your head with a shrug of your shoulders, “I wanted to do something nice,” his eyes were now intensely staring into your own, if you didn’t know him like the back of your hand, the stare would’ve intimidated you.  But his eyes were just concentrating; they were concentrating on you and you saw the love in them.

“And I thought…” Your eyes fell from his momentarily, suddenly growing shy about your next request, “Maybe…We could like go in…Together?”  

He was silent.  

It was not the response you were expecting and your stomach dropped, “Never mind,” you waved your free hand in the air, “I made the bath for you so you should enjoy it––You haven’t had any space to yourself, so you–––“

“God, yes,” Shawn’s eyes closed for the second time tonight, but they weren’t closed out of exhaustion, they were closed in pure bliss as he imagined a bath with you, “Please come in the bath.”

Your cheeks heated up as you rocked back on your heels, “Okay.”

You and Shawn had never taken a bath together; mainly for the reason that you didn’t know he took baths.  And it seemed like you were crossing a line into uncharted territory.  Sure, you’ve shared intimate moments together, seen each other naked, and shared your strongest fears with each other.  But there was something about taking a bath with Shawn that seemed even more intimate than all of those combined.

Shawn let go of your hand as he clutched the hem of his shirt, crossing his forearms before peeling the shirt over his head.  You slowly peeled your socks off, one by one, then stripped yourself of your leggings.

He folded his shirt and set it on the ground before his hands trailed down to the button on his jeans.  You watched his careful fingers undo the button and slowly unzip the zipper of his jeans.  He looked up at you through his curls, catching you staring at him, and smiled at you before pulling his jeans down past his thighs, wiggling them off his calves.

Much like his shirt, he folded his pants and set them aside.

Clad in just his underwear, he stepped forward in front of you, toes touching toes.  You were scared and you didn’t know why.  It’s just Shawn, you scolded yourself, there’s no need to feel scared.  The more you two just stood in front of each other in silence, you realized that the feeling in the pit of your stomach wasn’t fear, it was nerves.  You were nervous to strip off another level of yourself and become even more vulnerable with him.

He played with the hem of your shirt, eyes peering into yours silently asking if it was alright to take it off.  You lifted your arms over your head instead of offering him a verbal response.  He slipped your shirt over your head, kissed your cheek softly when it was off, folded it up, and placed it with his clothes.

Both of you stood in your underwear, waiting to see each other’s next move.  Shawn seemed to grasp the emotion behind taking a bath––it was such a simple way of displaying affection––but neither one of you had done this before.  Neither one of you had taken a bath with any of your previous significant other’s.  It would be a first time for something that the two of you would share together.

Staring deep into your eyes, Shawn slowly brought his hands to his underwear and pulled them down his legs.  Your eyes never left his as he shimmied out of them, not bothering to pick them up and fold them like his other articles of clothing.  

“If you…” he started off slowly, “If you don’t want me to look or like…aren’t comfortable, you don’t have to come in,” He took your hand and loosely held it between your bodies, “You can go to bed or…Or you can just sit on the ledge,” he gave your hand a squeeze, “I just really missed you today.”

You didn’t know what to say.  You didn’t know if you were capable of saying anything.  You were mesmerized with the carefulness of his tone, how he had just come from a hard day at work, but he wanted you to feel comfortable.  You didn’t think you could love him anymore than you did in this moment.

With one last squeeze, he released your hand as he made his way toward the white bathtub.  Your back was facing him, but you knew his movements too well that you could picture him; reaching the tips of his fingers in to test the warmth of the water before slowly sinking a foot in.  You heard the water move, you guessed that he was standing in the tub now, getting used to the water before he fully sank into the heat.

You knew he was fully submerged when you heard him let out a groan.  You glanced over your shoulder and saw his knees bent, limbs too long to fit fully inside the tub, as he rested his head on the back of the tub with his eyes shut tight.

With a deep breath, you reached behind your back to unclasp your bra, letting it fall from your shoulders.  You let your shoulders fall as you took another deep breath, carefully sliding your underwear down over your thighs, past your calves, and slightly bent down to unhook them from your feet.  And unlike Shawn, you picked up both of your underwear from the floor, and neatly folded them, placing them next to the clothes he had folded.

The bathroom air felt cold around your body, but the eyes you felt on your back lit your insides on fire.  

Turning toward the tub slowly, you brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, and saw Shawn staring into your eyes.  Any other boy, you thought, any other boy would be trailing his eyes all over your body.  But not Shawn, a shy smile creeped up on your lips; Not Shawn.

Your eyes stayed connected all throughout the few steps you took to the tub, the nerves still bubbling in your stomach.  But with the nerves came love.  With love came adoration.  And with adoration came the boy who was sitting in the tub, patiently waiting for you to join him.

Shawn lifted his arm  from the confines of the water and held it out to you.  With water droplets falling from his arm, you took hold of his hand, not even testing the water temperature before you stepped in one foot at a time.  You trusted that if Shawn was fine with the temperature, then you wouldn’t have a problem with it.

You lowered yourself into the bubbles, the heat of the water loosening up every tense muscle you didn’t know existed, as you sat on the opposite side of the tub from Shawn.  With your body submerged up to your collar bones, the cold porcelain on your back was a soothing contrast from the heat of the water.

Your eyes were closed as you enjoyed unwinding in the tub.  While you made the bath for Shawn, you were glad you decided to join.  Under the water, you felt the toes of his right foot glide up and down your calf.  You opened your eyes to see him with a lazy half smile, “Will you come here?”

You bit your lip to conceal a grin, but nodded, placing both hands on the ledges of the tub.  Your chest was covered with bubbles, but they were slowly trickling off your body, exposing your breasts to Shawn.  But like the whole night, Shawn’s eyes were looking into his favorite color; your eyes.

Moving forward, you twisted yourself to turn around, your back facing him, as he brought a hand up to grip your thigh, slowly lowering yourself down on his lap.  You leaned back on his chest as the water began to still, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Thank you.”

It was just you and Shawn in the bathroom, back pressed against his chest, but he still whispered.  The thank you he whispered held more meaning than those two words.  He was saying I’m thankful for you, I’m lucky to have you in my life, I’m in love with you.

You closed your eyes as his arms rounded your waist and you kissed his neck; suddenly hyper aware of everything around you. You felt the hair on his legs brush up against yours, smelled the lavender wafting through the air, heard the single droplets of water that fell from the spout echo in the tub, and saw the love Shawn held for you in his eyes.

“I wrote a song about you today,” Shawn piped up, voice small and unaware of how you were going to react.

“Really?”

His statement piqued your interest, he was usually closed lipped about what went on during his studio sessions.  You knew some musicians had weird superstitions, and you never pried Shawn on information he didn’t want to share with you regarding his album.  And you never took it to heart, knowing that you would still get to hear the finished cut of the album before the general public.

Shawn sunk further into the tub, taking you with him, “I’ve written lots of songs about you,” he shared.  You turned your face up to look at him better.  You were met with his sharp jawline, his eyes dreamily facing forward as he smiled at the melody he wrote for you that played in his head, “Why I’ve been so tired.”

“Oh?” You said it playfully, a smirk toying at your lips, “Loving me is tiring?”

Shawn squeezed your hips under the water, “You know what I mean,” he finally looked down at you, “Just have so many feelings about you running through my head all the time.”

You let out a small laugh, “Good to know.”

“You’re on my mind all hours of the day,” again even though you were alone, he whispered his words softly, as if exchanging a secret, “Can’t get enough of you.”

Shawn pressed a kiss as soft as his words to your growing smile.  You were having a hard time kissing him back, so overcome with elation, that you never thought your smile would disappear.

Once he stopped trying to pry kisses from you, he knew he would get a good kiss before you headed to bed, he rested his head on top of yours, “This is just what I needed,” he let out his millionth sigh of the night, “I love baths.”

You smiled in satisfaction, “That’s what I’ve heard.”

You noticed the loss of contact when Shawn picked his head up from yours.  He looked down at you with a questioning stare, “Heard? Who told you?”

Shit.

“I uh––Read it in one of your interviews,” You stammered, not wanting to break your trust with Aaliyah.  While you loved Shawn and would choose his side no matter what, you made a promise to his sister that you intended to keep, “GQ.”

Shawn shook his head, a smirk growing more and more on his lips, “Never discussed taking baths with GQ.”

“Billboard?” His smirk widened with another wrong answer, “Variety? Rolling Stone––“

“Aaliyah told you, didn’t she?”

You rapidly shook your head, but you felt your eyes widen, blowing your cover.  But you still held out your promise to Aaliyah and denied his accusations, “Haven’t talked to her in a while, I should probably give her a call, you know?  See how school’s going for her, see if she needs any boy advice–––“

“First off,” Shawn cut you off, “No to giving her boy advice.  She’s too young––“

“It’s how we bond!” Your laugh caused the water to ripple, “It’s not like I haven’t given it to her before.”

“That’s a conversation for a different time,” he shot you a fake glare, before his smirk reappeared and a mischievous glint twinkled in his eyes, “She’s the only person who knows I like baths when I’m stressed.”

You didn’t know how you could argue with that.  No amount of bullshitting could get you out of the corner you backed yourself into.  With a sigh, you lifted your back off his chest and twisted your body to face him, “I wanted to do something for you,” you brought your hand up to cup his face, he leaned into your touch, “You were getting so lost in yourself and I couldn’t think of anything.  So I called her up.”

Shawn nodded against your palm, turning his head to press a gentle kiss on the inside of your hand, “I really do appreciate this––you.  This is the best thing to happen to me all week. Thank you.”

You smiled at him before fitting yourself back up against his chest.  You stayed in the water with him until your fingers pruned up and the water went cold.

[keijikunn]

Yellow

pairing: bokuto koutarou x neutral!reader genre: overall fluffy, there’s this tiny bit of angst but nothing too hurtful  summary: the yellow things in love that reminds you of bokuto koutarou word count: ~2.5k author’s note: happy birthday to my favourite loud boy! i know i’m a bit late, but here it is my special fic to our owl

WARNINGS: mentions of car crash

If you enjoy it please leave a comment or a reblog!!

               a life with bokuto koutarou is painted with yellow. like the sunshine on your skin, a cold lemonade on a hot day, or a smile face on every text exchanged. a life him his was never dull, he just… brings color into it. in all honesty, you were nothing but blessed to have such a great man on your side through the ups and downs of life.

              waking up next to him – with his arms securely wrapped around your waist, his soft breathes hitting your neck and his head on your chest – always filled you utter joy and warmth. even when his lips let snores escape or how his hair would tickle your face, the peace on his features was enough to melt your heart. and when the rays of sunshine illuminated both of you? that was the moment koutarou looked absolutely like an angel – and perhaps he is.

              “good morning, love” his raspy voice has never failed to pull the strings of your heart, the same ones bokuto knew all too well – after all, years of relationship taught him enough about you.

              “good morning, kou” you replied with a quick peck on his forehead, letting a hand run through the locks of gray and black hair. the man let out a content hum as he pulled you even closer, that way he could kiss the soft skin of your neck just the way he knew you liked.

              as odd as it might be, mornings were the only moment bokuto would be the calmest he could. the aura around him would be a pastel yellow. soft, discreet, but lovely. the most tender and loving gestures are exchanged in a half-sleep conscience – but still the purest actions. your own world is filled with such color, your bedroom – despite the blue grey-ish shades on the walls – was a safe haven illuminated with it.

    ��         koutarou, however, wasn’t a simple man. therefore, he hadn’t in himself only one variation.

              bokuto was also as yellow as your highlighters: bright, flashy, but helpful with sort of a guidance within it – just like the actual object. he reminded you of it because of the many sleepless nights both of you spent during your exam’s seasons in college, even though he was not much of a help and his schedule required him to wake up early.

              “I might not be a college student, but I need to hype my significant other” he commented on the first time he stayed up until 3 in the morning with you, sitting on the kitchen table scanning with his eyes through the many pages scattered around. “it’s hard, but I believe in you. and I can’t let you pull an all nighter, you’ll be absolutely shit on your afternoon classes”

              just like that, koutarou would make you company in silence. sometimes he’d fall asleep resting his head on his folded arms over the table, in others he’d try to help you organize what you’ve already been through. and on the top of all of that, bokuto koutarou would ground you whilst your mind you’d be drowning in anxiety and self-doubt.

              the same way you’d highlight important things on your books and notes, bokuto would highlight the best qualities of you. pointing your smartness, beautifulness, gentleness and loving personality. this man would not let you forget how far you’ve come, all hardships you’ve won against and how your future is going to be as bright the yellow pen that you constantly use.

              by himself, kou would be under the spotlight as the great athlete he is. you, however, couldn’t help but give him the focus he deserved. he was inspiring to you, always trying to do better, to be the best version of yourself. in your life, bokuto koutarou was a highlighter, but also something highlighted so you can – and will always – remember his importance and meaning to you.

              there are these certain shades of colors that just don’t look as pretty as others, but are as just important to compose the whole one. like any other people in the world, bokuto also had the slightest ugly tones of yellow.

              the sunset and sunrise can be both renewing and melancholic. the hue that transitions to orange has two different meaning when you’re talking about your boyfriend: can be both the argument and the reconciliation. the contraposition between these two is essential to understand why one color brings two types of feelings.

              “koutarou, you aren’t being reasonable” you argued certain night, it was after a msby game – which his team won. it was a hazy memory to you, everything passed by in a blur. at one time you remembered hugging bokuto as the two of you celebrated the end of the game, then all you could see and hear was him dragging you out of the commemoratory party.

              “how not, y/n?! that guy was fucking touching you” kou’s voice was loud, as he always is, but that volume wasn’t filled with love or excitement; no, all you could hear was angriness and jealousy. “and you weren’t doing a thing to stop him! you acted like your boyfriend wasn’t there”

              “it wasn’t like that, kou!” the scream match wasn’t going anywhere with both of you stressed, with a deep breathe, you held eye contact with him. “I tried to stop him! tetsu saw me pushing his hands from me, but he ignored whatever I did! he still touched me and all I could do is act as if nothing was wrong, or else I’d be the hysterical significant other”

              “c’mon, y/n, you’ve never really cared about what the media would say about you” bokuto mocked as he rolled his eyes, your heart clenched at those words. they weren’t true, how could you tell him about how you felt reading mean comments online? you treasured the bright smile he had, it was enough for you to keep going while receiving those kinds of insults.

              “you know what, koutarou? I’m going to my friend’s house tonight. we are not going anywhere right now” with that, you left your shared apartment with the jacket you were wearing and the cellphone on your pocket.

              leaving bokuto for the night was awfully painful. each day, before you fall asleep, the man’s embrace was like a sunset, a way to conclude your day. the explosion of orange, red and yellow as the sky grows darker was a signal that another milestone was completed with koutarou by your side.

              arguments between you two were exactly like watching, by yourself, the sun hiding under the horizon after having company for so long. it felt wrong, but sometimes it would unfortunately happen, because no couple was perfect. but, what made bokuto and you different from others was the way that always the sunrise would come with closure of whatever hurtful feelings were reminiscent.

              later on the next day, you’ve returned to your home. bokuto’s shoes were organized by the entrance of your apartment – contrary to the other night, when he just took them off and kicked aimlessly. the rice cooker was on, you could even smell the cleaning products you use around the house: an indication that kou did some of the chores you had to delay to attend his game.

              “I’m home” you announced rather quietly, eyes scanning around in order to find your boyfriend. he emerged from the kitchen, a basket full of clean clothes on his grip and a tired expression on his beautiful face. “what… are you doing?”

              “I know you use Friday evenings to do some chores, and since I’ve dragged you to my game you couldn’t do them, so I decided to be helpful at least once” he answered with a small smile. you could tell koutarou was tired – maybe feeling his muscles ache after such an intense game or just because he couldn’t sleep without you. “akaashi gave me the biggest lecture ever to knock some sense into my head, I wasn’t being fair with you”

              “neither was I” the aftermath of every argument between you two would be like this: silently, spoken in whispers and reluctant touches. “I should’ve told you how I truly felt about those online comments… we’re supposed to share our worries, right?”

              “yeah… and I should be more understanding about your fears and insecurities” koutarou placed the basket on the floor and stepped closer to you, a timid hand reaching out for you own, which you obliged quickly. “sorry, love. i had no right in yelling at you”

              “it’s okay, baby” a smile crept on your face, your other hand brushes aside the tip of his hair over his forehead (being at home with kou meant seeing him with his hair down, it was a beautiful sight). “I’m sorry too”

              as your lips touched once again, your own little world, where only you and bokuto were allowed to, was painted with the most beautiful sunrise. because that was what a relationship is: every disagreement ends with a reconciliation, a new day would begin from that. you two learned with a few painful sunsets that, after a fight, the way the sun would come up would be even prettier than the day before.

              the most unusual shade of yellow in bokuto koutarou would probably be the same one as from warning signs. this simple association emanates all worry and fear that lays on the deepest part of koutarou – and you thanked god you don’t usually see it. his emo modes back in high school managed to hide the feelings behind his lack of motivation after many failures in a row; now, he shone bright yellow warning signs every time his heart wasn’t at ease.

              despite of that, no emo mode would have prepared you to see the restless and worried features on bokuto’s face when you opened your eyes on a cold day. all your body hurt as your chest raised and fell from your breathing patter, the lights above you weren’t making the pounding headache of yours any better.

              “y/n, love, how are you feeling?” koutarou asked frantically, needy for answers so his brain could finally calm down.

              “where… am i?” you uttered, the words almost getting stuck on your dry throat.

              “you’re at the hospital, babe” with that information, numerous scenes rushed back to your mind. how you were on the bus on your way home, the way it drifted on the street covered with a thin layer of snow and the side you were sat colliding against a lamp post. “you were on a car crash, do you remember?”

              “yes, sort of…” still a bit confused, you turned your head to completely face your boyfriend. you could tell by the reddish skin around his eyes that he had cried and judging by his clothes – the msby track attire – that he was on a match before rushing to the hospital. “did you finish the game?”

              “are you insane, y/n?” bokuto whined shaking his head, the grip on your heads tightening a bit. “how could I play volleyball knowing that the love of my life was hurt and on their way to the hospital? my coach allowed to leave as soon as the first set was over. when- when he told me you were involved in a car crash, I was so worried that you’d leave me- and seeing you laying on this bed makes everything so much more intense that-”

              “hey, kou” you raised your hand to cup his wet cheeks, the tears once again started to stream from his eyes and that was one of the worst views you’ve had: his yellow eyes dull and watery. that sight would never match the ball of sunshine bokuto truly is. “I’m here, right? I woke up, see? I’m here, holding your face as we speak. the worst have already passed”

              “I was so afraid, y/n…” he confessed quietly, leaning into your touch to ground himself. “I love you lots, babe, I am so damn glad you’re alive”

              “I wouldn’t go anywhere without you, bo… you don’t have to worry”

              bokuto was shining a bright yellow, indicating his wariness and worry, for the rest of the time you spent at the hospital. the big warning sign on his mind was put aside as soon as all doctors assured him you were fine, completely healed after almost a month after the incident.

              even if that shade wasn’t a pretty one that bokuto has in himself, that makes him exactly the man you are head over heels with. he cares for you, he worries for you, he would do anything in a heartbeat just to make dure you were fine. koutarou gave all of him to you when you started dating, just the same way you did to him.

(the yellow warning signs would only appear years later when your first kid got sick for the first time)

              and last, but no least, the most beautiful, breathtaking hue of yellow was the exact one he always shows you: his eyes. the way they’d look at you with such adoration and fondness, like he was screaming with his sight “this person next to me is the love of my life”, “I love you”, “you’re everything to me”.

              this kind of shining yellow summarized koutarou perfectly: the excitement when he’s playing the sport he absolutely loves, the happiness whenever he is around his friends. but, on the top of everything else, the state of being completely – both mentally and sentimentally wise – filled with the purest emotions he could gather. that only happened with you by his side.

              through the ups and downs of adulthood, you and bokuto faced them together as a couple, as best friends, as growing people. as every single day passed by, both of you were completely sure that this situation – you and him against the world – needed to last forever. you two needed to wake up illuminated by rays of sunshine cracking through the curtains of your bedroom; have in each other’s embrace every sunset and sunrise, eve the ugly ones; put every single yellow sign up whenever the other was in danger.

              and the newest thing you added on your mental list like a masterpiece painted by your love was the way koutarou’s eyes shined so bright while kneeling on your knee. you saved in your heart the image of him holding out a black velvet box with the most beautiful ring inside, his hair down – the same way you love – and wearing his pajamas.

              “will you marry me?” that sentence came in a blow, your knees buckling as your arms found their way around his broad shoulders. the tears of joy stained his shirt as you exchanged words of ‘I love you’ and ‘yes’ between sobs and fits of laughter.

              your world was already full of color, but bokuto koutarou happened to make everything brighter and, at last, complete.

[jtrbluv]

“F 2020!” - TXT

it’s 3:30am and i’m 2 lazy to make a header so here’s yoongi, i promise i have nicer handwriting

wow, i literally have no idea where to start. it’s almost my three year anniversary of being on this hellsite, but i think i can definitely say that 2020 has probably been one of my favorite years by far, and i am really grateful for it. i think 2020 was a year i was able to improve a lot in my writing despite not producing and releasing a lot of content. quarantine finally allowed me to actually sit down and focus on writing more than i ever have before, and shit, it felt good! it finally felt like i was able to write for myself and not just to please others, and it felt so rewarding rawr (•̀ᴗ•́)و

to all my followers, thank you all so so much. each and every single one of you are a huge reason as to why i’m still here and continue to write. all the likes, reblogs, comments, asks, and more mean the absolute world to me and other writers as well. i think as content creators we can all say that we all go back and scroll through all your messages. thank you for continuing to support me and hopefully i can manage to gift more fics to you this year! luv u all so much <33

to all my mutuals, whether we’ve talked once, twice, never, or a lot, thank you so much for letting me into your world! i really appreciate and luv each and every one of you and always enjoy seeing you all around my dash, we love 2 see it!! i wish you all the best and pls never hesitate to talk to me, i’ll always be here through but especially to support you and hype you all up!! >:) <33

i was going to tag people, but i don’t wanna risk missing anyone T-T. hopefully, you all know who you are :)) just know i luv u fr

lastly, here are some sappy ass luv letters to some of you in particular, sry in advance 🥶🥶

@koushiningg - yeah, of course your ass is going first. hey jae bae, bestie 4L, partner-in-crime, the one person who’s read every, and i mean EVERY single one of my fics. it irks me how much you’re always able to write out your feelings towards the people you care about, bc i SUCK at it! so yes, thank you so much for just being you, i’ll write u a sappy long letter for ur grad email but for now, thank u so much for putting up with my dumbass, listening to me ramble abt the ideas i get at the asscrack of dawn, reading my fics, supporting me in everything that i do. i love u sm fr. here is to the year that we’ve been waiting for, 2021. let’s make it our year.

@taehyungieskith - mika bae........ to think that you were still a local this year is so silly to think abt, i still remember us in the 400s and me giving u song recs in the band room GAHAHDHAJ. i love the little book club type shit we be doing, i always love ur recs duh wtf. thank u twin for always hyping up my stuff and thank god u arent on wattpad anymore mhm love u twin jumi #2 fr

@viopera - VIO!!! we’ve met recently but it feels like i’ve known u for awhile now. literally i’m so happy cuz i remember telling u to write fics and u were straight up like “no.” and now here we are RAWR! u should know this by now and u probably do but i will always be ur #1 supporter and eternal beta-reader. i hope you’re feeling better and ily my fav corpse stan and bad bitch!!!!

@bangtans-peaceful-piegon - AHH PIDGE!!! if i can remember correctly, you were one of the first people i actually talked to on the fic hub server and wow you are just the cutest and literal sweetest thing. we clicked so easily and the vibes u give off are just absolutely impeccable. i love u and i’m always here for u !!! <33

@sugacouture - AYO MEI!!! istg we literally just started talking frfr like a couple days ago but it’s like i’ve known u for years, like wtf. we literally have the same humor and vibes and it’s been rly swag talking to u. i am also more than happy to be ur eternal beta-reader and header helper if that wasn’t already clear duh <3 yeah you are so cute and you write so well that it’s unfair. mhm. unfair. *inserts that one taekook photo* love u, i’ll kidnap u and we’ll get boba and pho <3

@dreamystuffers - RACH!!!!!! rach you truly mesmerize me bc you are so freaking multi-talented, it leaves me in awe. i’m so happy you’ve continued to do what you do luv!! i will always be here and supporting u thru whatever u do!!! luv u sm!! <33

@tatastaetae - marria bby! hi!! ik we don’t talk that much but when we do you’re always such a joy to talk to! the range in ur fics is insane and i always love 2 see it! love u sm and i’m always here for u luv (i swear i’ll be more active on servers wjdjsjjds)

@pjmsdior - bella!!! we haven’t talked for that long either but i always love meeting fil moots!!! you are the sweetest thing and just know that i’ll always be here for u if u need anyone to talk to!!! if i was rich, i’d buy us both new phones in a heartbeat bc our phone literally hate us and for WHAT. kk luv u bella mwah <3

@suhdays - MO! oh my i rly do mean it when i say that u have got to be one of the sweetest and most genuine ppl i’ve met so far this year on this hellsite. ty for making me feel so welcome on the discord servers and networks despite me not being super active on there. when i do get money, i do wish to buy from your etsy shop T-T ,, you are literally the best and deserve the world mo, love u !

@jinpanman - mai! hiii!!! i know we don’t talk much but i’d just like to thank u for the sheer kindness and sweetness you’ve always treated me with! on the occasions that we do talk, you are such a sweetheart omg. ur fics are absolutely to die for and ilysm bby <3

@softguks - AHHDHJE LAUR! when i save u best 4 last <3. we’ve honestly barely interacted at all but you are the most sweetest thing ever, you make my heart full!!! i hope we’re able to interact more in the future and that u come back soon!

- ur local laur luvbot

my secret admirer, hi! i’m not sure if you’ll see this or not since i obviously can’t tag u, but i rly do appreciate u and all the messages u send 🥺🥺 sometimes i go back to them and read them over bc they’re actually so sweet and this is my first actual anon interaction rawr ;w; like always, i wish u nothing but the best and pls take care ☀️ anon!!! <3

sending luv and good vibes to all of u for the new year, always <3

— love, jumi (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

[afoolnottoloveu]

thea made it to 100 ask list!

please specify letter and number in ask (the question itself would also be greatly appreciated)!

and sooo, my teeny tiny celebration is an ask list, for you all to either reblog or ask me!! thank you all for tolerating my bullshit :D i love you all, we’re all friends here <3

for the writers (or readers!) (A)

favorite thing you’ve written?

favorite tropes/cliches?

first fandom you’ve been apart of?

EVERY fandom you've been apart of?

favorite fic you’ve read?

favorite series you’ve read?

tag 3 writers you love

tag 3 writers who you think deserve more hype

tag 3 readers you sincerely appreciate because you always see them liking your stuff

do you have any side blogs?

why did you start writing?

any writing advice?

do you take any notes/make an outline before you write?

send a line from one of your wips!

how did you come up with your url?

for the criminal minds fandom (B)

when did you start and finish?

fav episode(s)?

fav season?

fav haircut of spencer?

pick one arc to rewrite (yes.. only one)

favorite character overall

favorite underrated character

favorite unsub

show recs for people after they finish cm?

link a gif set you love!

for new friends! (C)

how was your day? how are you?

sexuality?

do you have any lucky numbers and/or charms?

can you swim? (if yes, how’d you learn? if no, why not?)

have you ever broken a bone (and which one)?

do you cuss/is it okay to cuss on your blog?

describe your aesthetic (take your pick: in emojis, in inanimate objects, in three pictures)

two fun facts!

do you have any tattoos or piercings?

if money grew on trees, what’s the first thing you would do with it?

what’s your impulse candy buy at a grocery store?

last place you left your house to go to?

do you watch any cartoons/animated shows? (recs?)

how many alarms do you need to wake up?

a food/drink you absolutely could not survive without?

show your phone and/or laptop case

do you know how to play poker?

any strange talents?

ever dyed your hair? if you had to what color would you dye it?

last book you read?

last vacation you went on?

were/are you in any clubs in high school? if so what?

what do you consider to be your best asset?

what was your first job? if you have yet to have one, what do you want yours to be?

do you use perfume? what scent?

if you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?

go-to donut flavor?

last color your nails were?

what’s the name of your favorite playlist?

what do you think happens after you die?

what’s the perfect age to get married?

are you close to your cousins? are you closer to your mom and dad’s side?

what song do you have an emotional attachment to?

if u were a teacher what grade and/or subject would you teach?

what historical era interests you the most?

do you get mosquito/bug bites where you live?

are you a bad texter?

ever cheated on a test?

(nsfw) are you a virgin?

(nsfw) would you sext the last person you texted?

in the future.. (D)

where would you live?

what do you want do as your job?

how many kids do you want?

do you want a pet? if so what?

are you gonna get a tattoo? of what?

favorites! (E)

favorite fall/winter/spring/summer activity? (asker picks season!)

favorite app?

favorite article of clothing you own?

favorite 3 emojis?

favorite video game?

favorite elementary school game?

favorite iconic vine?

favorite teacher you’ve ever had? do you still talk to them?

favorite cereal?

favorite season?

favorite candle scent?

favorite disney princess?

favorite constellation?

favorite flower?

favorite obscure animal?

this or that (F)

pools, lakes, or the ocean?

hot showers in cold weather or cold showers in hot weather?

iced coffee, milk tea, juice, soda, smoothies, milkshakes or none of the above?

crewnecks, hoodies or zip ups?

jeans or leggings?

dogs, cats, bunnies, birds, frogs, lizards or snakes?

long or short nails?

starbucks, dunkin or tim hortons?

coffee mugs or teacups?

halloween or christmas?

for.. fun! (G)

FMK, asker chooses the characters

ask me to draw/write something

opinion on lotion.

would you rather, asker’s pick!

confess your sins.

give the asker a tbh!

life advice to someone 5 years younger than you

send an unpopular opinion and ill tell you whether i strongly or slightly agree or disagree (or neutral!

REVERSE CARD i ask you one of these questions!

AMA (ask me anything you want, make your own questions!)

[deiacontraria]

i wasn’t planning on discussing books i read in here since i mostly just reblog stuff but now that my side-blog is basically pointless, i suppose i might as well

okay so anyway poppy wars was great and i’m now unreasonably hyped for the third one?

i’ve literally never done reviews/opinions before like this, so i’m just gonna put it under the line because spoilers in case anyone sees this, although admittedly I’m mostly gonna comment on characters

like, i’m pretty sure this isn’t even a review, just me gushing over how i liked the books and then ranting about colonialism (yeah, I can’t seem to avoid that)

oh yeah trigger warning: colonialism, drugs (this is the poppy wars)

Rin was, at times, a bit annoying, especially since she seemed to have tunnel-vision about who she thought was in the right. I guess the whole militarization of the students (and later the shamans) is the whole point of that line, but I was glad to see her finally grow out of it.

Altan was so angry and yeah he was a victim but even Rin herself admits it was such a terrible idea to get hung up over him. Not to mention freeing Feylen turned out to be such a hilariously terrible idea.

Speaking of Feylen, he isn’t even a central character but arguably one of my favorites because a) I really want to know if all shamans are still “in there”, maybe to the degree they could potentially be killed or freed, and b) because I thought of this quote while reading one of the scenes and laughed way too much.

Though the wind blows, the mountain does not move.

This quote is completely unrelated and I’m actually not sure where it’s from (if anyone knows the complete/cited one, please let me know because I can’t find it :c), but the point is, Feylen is basically possessed by an evil Wind God and not once but twice he gets taken out by literal mountains. In the backstory he was immured after he lost control and now a mountain gets thrown on top of him. I mean, I feel super bad for the guy, but lol. This isn’t even that funny but I laughed way too much at the thought.

Venka’s storyline was just tragic and I hope she gets to kill a lot of idiots.

Kitay was uh, surprisingly better in Book 2? He went from being super book-focused to still being super book-focused but also being more willing to take risks. Aside from Chaghan tricking him into thinking actual horse pee was part of that ritual and he actually drunk it and oh god that scene hurt even if Chaghan admitting he’d lied was hilarious. The fact that he originally didn’t even want to be related to war and now he’s even willing to bear the pain of Rin’s Phoenix powers really sealed it for me. Anyway RIP Niang

Changhan was awesome in general and please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks he had a thing for Altan.

Not saying Chaghan had a thing for Altan but hey guys I think Chaghan had a thing for Altan.

What’s happened to literally every character sucks, yeah, so in theory all their growth has been out of necessity, but they didn’t give up and after book 2 I really REALLY hope they get the resolution they deserve in the end. War sucks and so does colonialism (but more on that later)

Nezha was uh, a surprise but not really? Since Enki(?) had already accused him of being a shaman back in book 1. He seems adamant that he isn’t a shaman and he actually seems to have the cannot-be-killed factor that lost shamans like Feylen also have so, uh? He has the power of a god (actually a dragon ._.) but it does seem to work a bit differently. Also yeah Rin, he’s a coward. Don’t get me wrong, I did ship Rin+Nezha throughout the book, but THE AUDACITY. Kitay did say he had been acting weird since when he saved Rin (and Rin basically drugged him til he passed out), so I kinda hope he was just losing control to his god as opposed to just being an ***, especially since he lets them go in the end.

Also lol at Rin accusing Nezha of being a shaman after she’s captured and the inquisitors (yes I’m going to call them that) being like ????? because Nezha’s father is hiding it. I do agree with Rin though, his father would have 100% intentionally left Nezha at the mercy of the dragon just for the sake of having power.

Anyway! War! Sudden southern rebellion! I really hope they win. Against the colonizers. I honestly can’t even read some of those scenes. There’s really firm church parallel in there. They worship the Maker and hate Chaos. Uh, sound familiar? Yeah. Except shamans are Chaos and it’s perfectly justified to torture/kill them! (/s, for the record) .Yeah... the Hesparians (honestly not even sure if I spelled that right because, as I said, I could barely read those scenes) are objectively terrible manipulators and I really really dislike them, to not use harsher words. Like. Seriously. The Poppy Wars. *sigh* OF COURSE it was going to turn out to be colonialism. This hurt.

In any case, if there’s anything I hope, it’s that they eventually figure out how to actually get rid of the immortal god vessels. We don’t see the others that lost control but seeing Feylen, who’s clearly still conscious and occasionally trying to struggle, basically doomed to eternity of being stuck because their god is too dangerous but also incapable of dying. Just eeeee somebody save these people. Or at least find a way to kill them.

TL;DR Poppy Wars was awesome but colonialism makes me sad (obviously not the story’s fault lol) and for some reason I’m apparently obsessed with Feylen