#please vote for her. i love her deeply

[lieutenant-amuel]

They're close. You can't tell me otherwise.

[appocalipse]

that guy ⊹ steve harrington

summary: After he's been to yet another failed date with yet another random pretty girl, Steve Harrington, your best friend, stops by at the diner your family owns for a late-night chat, same as he'd done a thousand times before. Steve is totally unaware of how much he's hurting you with his endless parade of dates, because after all — the two of you are only friends and nothing more, right? It's not like you have any secret feelings for him… | 2.6k words

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

The moment Steve steps through the glass doors of the diner, you wonder, for about the millionth time that month alone, what is it that you've done so wrong to deserve this kind of punishment.

It's Friday night, and on Friday nights, Steve Harrington goes on dates. It's just like clockwork, really: he meets a pretty girl, thinks she's the one, takes her out on a date, realizes quickly enough that she isn't quite what he was looking for, then comes here after having dropped her back home to sulk with you, in the diner that your family runs, still clad in the outfit he'd chosen especially for his failed date.

To be honest, he never looks sad, per se — more like disappointed. Frustrated, maybe.

You watch as he weaves around tables occupied by laughing friends, past booths filled with couples sharing desserts, then slides into a seat in front of you at the bar. Steve sits down with an exhausted sigh, ruffling up his hair before shooting you a tired smile.

"Hi."

You don't look up from where you're polishing the counter. "Bad date again?"

"Not even close. She talked about horses non-stop."

A quiet laugh slips past your lips despite yourself, and finally, you tear your gaze off the dark wooden surface of the counter to look up at him; he's got this pleased little smile on his face, the corners of his eyes crinkled ever so slightly in the way they always do whenever he succeeds at making you laugh, even if just a little.

How are you supposed to keep acting like nothing's wrong when he looks at you like that?

You clear your throat awkwardly and make yourself busy stacking clean glasses next to the coffee machine.

"So...not the one, I take it?"

Steve leans forward against the counter and props his head up with his hand, sighing deeply.

"I'm starting to think she won't ever show up," he says quietly, running his other hand through his hair. You chance another glance at him and note how genuinely worried he looks. It breaks your heart almost as much as it annoys you. "What is it that's wrong with me, huh? I just don't get it."

"Nothing is wrong with you."

"You don't need to be nice to me. We've been friends since forever, remember?"

The word 'friends' makes you wince a little bit inside, but you hide the reaction behind a neutral frown. "Do you think there's something wrong with me? Because I haven't found the one yet either, you know."

Steve's expression softens as he looks at you, and once again you feel that horrible twinge in your stomach that you wish would just stop already.

"It's different. I mean—you're not actively trying to find someone." He reaches out to pull one of the half-melted mints out from the glass bowl on the counter and pops it into his mouth with a shrug. "I go out looking for her and she just doesn't come. If she even exists, that is."

"She does."

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, but I wouldn't hold my breath. God, why am I such an idiot, y'know?" Steve slumps over the counter with a groan, burying his face into his crossed arms. "My love life is a trainwreck."

"At least you have one."

He glances up at you curiously and lifts an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Forget it. Do you want some pie?"

You're not about to tell him what you've only admitted to yourself mere months ago — that you're actually hopelessly, madly, stupidly in love with him, and that you have been ever since the two of you were just dumb kids racing around your parents' diner.

What makes it even worse is that you had no idea your feelings went that deep until Steve started going on these dates of his again. Before then, everything was normal — you met up every weekend and binged on candy, watched bad movies on your couch, drove around town together blasting The Clash on his BMW's speakers...it was good.

Until it wasn't.

"Wait, c'mon, you can't just leave me hanging like that," Steve presses. He shifts a little on his stool to better face you, then gestures at you with his hands. "You've clearly got something you wanna say, so, like—hit me. Lay it on me."

"Nothing. I'm just saying...at least you're trying, you know," you say carefully, measuring each word before speaking them. "And at least you're the one doing the rejecting. Could be worse."

Steve's eyebrows rise high up on his forehead and he looks at you incredulously. "Whoa, wait—are you trying to tell me you've been rejected?"

You busy yourself by filling two tall glasses with soda, then slide one to his side of the counter and keep the other for yourself. "Uh...kind of, yeah. But it's fine."

"But who the hell would even do that?" he blurts out. There's anger in his voice all of a sudden, a defensive fire in his eyes that makes you feel as if someone has punched you in the gut. "To you? You're like, the nicest person on the planet, and super pretty to boot. That's just—that's crazy!"

Your heart gives a violent little jump in your chest. He thinks you're pretty. Steve Harrington thinks you're pretty.

Pretty as a friend, you correct yourself immediately, and sigh as you sip your drink. Of course, it's nothing more than that — just meaningless words spoken in a moment of unthinking kindness.

"Seriously, who?" he presses on. "Give me a name. I'll fight him."

"You mean like you fought Jonathan Byers?" you smile behind your glass, looking at him from over its rim.

Steve looks embarrassed at the memory and drops his gaze for a second or two before meeting your eyes again with a playful little smile of his own. "Different situation, okay, but that's not the point. So? Who's the guy?"

"You...don't know him," you hedge.

"It's Hawkins. I know the stray cats here by name."

"Fine, well, even if you did know him, it doesn't matter. He didn't reject me, exactly...not really."

Steve frowns a little. "Okay, you're gonna have to start making sense now. This is hurting my head."

The funny thing is, he actually looks confused, as if he can't possibly fathom the idea of someone rejecting you. It's sweet, really — way too sweet for your liking, especially when you know fully well he doesn't see you in the way you'd want him to.

You lower your gaze to avoid his and instead focus on drawing random shapes on the counter with your index finger, where tiny droplets of condensation from your glass have pooled up on the dark wood. "I mean, I never really told him how I felt. Not directly. It just…never happened."

"Oh. Well, then how do you even know if he feels the same way?" he asks you, looking rather doubtful.

You steal another glance at him and almost regret it instantly. His eyes are trained on your face, patient and attentive like you're the only thing worth watching in the world. It makes you feel horribly small and selfish and guilty, because after all, what right do you have to want him when he so clearly wants someone else?

You feel like you could cry. You might, if you don't distract yourself with something fast enough.

"I just know. Do you want some pie? I'll go get you some pie."

Without waiting for a response, you rush off to the kitchen even though there's plenty of pies sitting on the display counter at the bar, and you make a beeline straight for the back exit.

The alley behind the diner is blissfully empty as usual, just a lonely dumpster and a handful of sad-looking shrubs and weeds peeking out from under the concrete.

No, you aren't going to cry.

This is stupid.

You press your back against the rough brick wall of the diner and breathe in deep the warm night air, then exhale slowly as you count to ten in your head.

When the door opens behind you and the diner's familiar chatter and clatter of cutlery spill into the alley, you wince, mentally cursing yourself for being so goddamn weak. You should have known better.

You don't have to look up to know that it's him.

"Are you hiding from me?" Steve's voice comes, quiet and curious and maybe just a little bit hurt, even.

"I got...suddenly nauseous," you explain weakly, still refusing to look up and meet his eyes.

There's a long stretch of silence, and you feel Steve move closer to you until he's leaning against the wall by your side. You finally look up and find him smiling, this gentle, amused little thing that makes your traitorous heart skip a beat.

"You look just fine to me."

You stare up at the sky, head against the wall. "I thought I was gonna throw up."

He's still watching you, you can tell; you're keenly aware of his eyes on you, so much so that your skin prickles at the attention. "No, you didn't."

"No, I didn't," you admit with a sigh, and turn your head to finally look at him. He's got this little half-smile on his lips, the very same one you fell for years ago, and you curse yourself silently for never learning how to let him go. Really let him go.

"Hey. Listen. You don't have to tell me, okay?" Steve says gently, pushing himself off the wall to step closer to you. He brings his hand up to your face and tucks a loose lock of hair behind your ear, letting his fingertips linger on the edge of your jaw for the briefest of moments, just long enough for you to wonder whether he knows what he's doing to you.

You don't dare to move. You're afraid of breaking whatever spell has seemingly come over him.

"I should've never asked. That was selfish."

"Forget it," you say.

He's standing close now, close enough that you have to tilt your chin up to be able to look up at him properly. There's a strange kind of tension in his eyes, something dark and unsure and tentative, and his gaze darts down to your lips just the slightest bit.

You're fairly sure you're just seeing what you want to see, your foolish heart playing tricks on you. But you panic nonetheless, feeling a sudden, irrational fear that if he moves any closer, he'll realize the truth — that you're a liar and a coward, that you've been harboring these feelings of yours for him for years.

"I should—I should go. Back inside," you mutter, pointing vaguely at the door with your thumb. "In there."

"Sure, yeah. Okay. In there," he echoes, not making a single move to leave. "Not out here."

"Yup. Exactly. In there."

"So you said."

"Yep."

The wall of the diner is digging into your spine uncomfortably, and your mouth is dry, and your knees feel weak, and your stomach is doing somersaults, and the longer he stares at you with those eyes of his the more you feel like you're burning from the inside out and—

He's not moving. All he does is look at you, really look at you, as if it's the first time he's really looked, as if he's seeing something that wasn't there before.

"Okay, so—"

You try to push past him towards the door, but Steve grabs your arm, making you stop dead in your tracks. He lets go as soon as you look up at him, lifting his hand in front of him in an apologetic gesture.

"Sorry. I'm sorry," he says. He swallows hard and rubs his palm on the front of his jeans, a nervous little habit you think he's always had. He runs his hand through his hair, mussing up the carefully gelled strands, and it's probably the first time you've ever seen him look so flustered.

He laughs nervously and gestures at the ground with his hands as he speaks. "Look, this is just—this is just crazy, okay, but I think I, uh, maybe sort of realized something."

You blink at him, not quite certain you're hearing him correctly.

"Realized what?" you ask, the words barely more than a whisper.

Steve clears his throat and nods at you, seemingly pleased that you've finally spoken. "Yeah, well, this is stupid, but you know how you're always telling me to listen to my gut?"

"You're not making a whole lot of sense right now, Steve."

"Just bear with me for a sec, okay? This is like, totally new to me." He holds his palms up, and you notice his hands are shaking a little. "I just need a minute, alright?"

He breathes in deep and exhales slowly, then shoots you an apologetic look.

"Sorry, this is just...really weird," he confesses. "Weirdly real."

"You're freaking me out," you tell him, but Steve only smiles at you.

"Maybe I should just show you. Because, I mean, what if I'm wrong? That'd be terrible, obviously."

"Steve."

"Yeah, I know, but hear me out, okay?" he says quickly, and takes another step closer. You stand your ground this time, if only because you don't trust yourself to actually move without your legs giving out. "So, look. Here's the thing. You're, like—you're one of the most important people in my life. You've been there for me when nobody else was, and I...you mean a lot to me."

"Steve—"

"Shut up, you're ruining the moment."

He takes another step forward until he's crowding you against the wall, hand coming to rest next to your head on the brick. He's close, so close that you can smell the scent of his cologne and shampoo and laundry detergent, and if you were to lean in even the slightest bit, your faces would bump.

Steve is a little out of breath, his lips parted ever so slightly. And he's still looking at you with that strange, searching expression of his.

"Is this okay?" he whispers.

"I don't—what?"

Your voice catches in your throat. There's no room for doubt in his eyes now, not even the tiniest, slightest sliver of uncertainty left.

"This," Steve murmurs.

He tilts his head to the side a little and leans in until you're sure your noses are touching, and you feel your eyes slip closed in anticipation.

"Is this okay?" he repeats in a whisper. "Please tell me I'm not crazy."

"I think I am."

His lips brush yours. It feels like an accident, doesn't last long enough to be anything but a dream. You can still taste the faint, sweet trace of sugar and mint on your tongue when he pulls away, though.

"Just to be clear," Steve whispers, his fingers brushing lightly over the skin of your neck, tracing invisible lines that make you shiver, "am I the guy from earlier? The one you like?"

You don't have it in you to deny it anymore.

"Yes. It's you."

A wide grin breaks out across his face, and suddenly he's everywhere; he cups your face in his hands, pressing eager, fervent kisses along the line of your jaw, trailing hot and open-mouthed down the side of your neck.

You giggle helplessly, grabbing Steve by his collar to pull him away from you and up to your eye level. He's breathing just as heavily as you are, his hair messy and his eyes bright.

"How do you do this to me, huh?" he pants, kissing your forehead, the tip of your nose, the corner of your mouth. "You just—you just completely knock me out."

A pleasant little thrill rushes up your spine at that.

"Oh yeah?"

"Completely."

You kiss him this time.

[writtenwhalien]

jump then fall (into you) | part 3

banner by the talented @jimilter​ 💖

pairing ↠ jungkook x reader

genre ↠ cruise AU, fake dating AU, best friends to lovers AU | fluff, angst, smut

word count ↠ 52k (pt 3. 14k)

18+ | warnings ↠ swearing, drinking, sexual content: foreplay, oral m. and f., protected sex etc.

summary ↠ bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?

note. asdkjlfdsgh it's the final part, i hope you're enjoying! 🥰 don't forget to interact please xo

part 3 (final)

“Black or red?” Sophia held the two dresses against herself in turn, eyes scrunched as she considered each carefully. 

“I vote red.”

“No, black.”

Elisa and Shay, two of Sophia’s closest friends looked at each other in disapproval after both giving their choice. 

“Wait, what are you wearing again, Y/N?” No answer prompts her to turn around. “Y/N?”

“Huh?” You look up, slightly confused. “Sorry, dress, yes, I like both but I think the black will go with the Harry Winston your dad just got you.” The answer rolls off your tongue and you’re grateful that you already had this conversation with Thalia a few weeks back before you’d left for the cruise. 

She narrows her eyes at you and you can’t blame her. You’ve been zoning out on her all day.

“Sorry,” you wince, giving her a smile. 

“Something on your mind?” Sophia asks, having witnessed this earlier too. 

“Not really,” you answer. “Just tired.” It’s not true but you don’t particularly fancy sharing your current dilemmas with the girls despite how great they are at advice. Besides, it’s less than two days till the wedding and you’re not trying to make your problems everyone else’s problems. 

Sophia just gives you that look before carrying on as though nothing happened. “What dress are you wearing again? Wasn’t it the same red as this?”

You nod. Your dress for Thalia’s dinner tonight is a simple wine red dress with a tie up back. 

“Alright, I’m going for the black one then.” Sophia throws the red one on the bed and hangs the black one up on her mirror. 

“Now heels,” she says excitedly. The girls follow her into her closet and you get up too but not to follow. 

“I’m gonna go get some water,” you tell them, sticking your head into the door of the closet. 

“Can you get me some too?” Sophia asks, eyes scaling the shelves for the perfect heels. 

“Sure.” 

You walk away from the girls and towards the closest back staircase which would take you directly to the kitchen. It’s on the opposite side of the house, past many of the bedrooms on the third floor, one of which belongs to Alias. A part of you hopes to hear voices in the room, one voice in particular, but you’re only met with silence as you pass. 

Deflating a little, you go downstairs to the kitchen. As you approach, you hear voices, Thalia and Alex. They’re standing by the fridge, talking softly to each other as Thalia takes a few drinks from the shelves and Alex places them on a tray behind them on the island. 

Alex looks up and smiles when he sees you. “Hey, Y/N.” 

Thalia turns around, placing the last of the bottles on the tray. “Finally managed to escape Sophia?” 

You laugh, approaching the fridge. “Not yet. I’m just here for some water.” 

“She’s still choosing her outfits?” Alex asks, brows raised.

“Yep.”

“But she took forever when she was buying them, why is she still choosing?”

Thalia laughs. “She’s your sister, surely you know better than that by now. She’s got at least three new buys for one event, then she’s got to choose between them and don’t forget about the jewellery, shoes and hair choices that go with them.”

Alex puts his arm around Thalia’s waist. “I think you’re just as bad though.”

“Well why not?” Thalia answers smugly. “It’s just self love.”

“And that’s why I love you.”

You don’t cringe as they smile at each other all smitten, but surprisingly feel a small pang of pain in your chest. Looking away, you take three bottles of water from the fridge. 

“Are you going back up there?” Alex asks. 

You nod. “She’s almost done.”

Just as Alex nods, another voice enters the conversation.

“Need any help guys?” Jungkook pauses in the doorway the moment he sees you, meanwhile Alex and Thalia exchange sly glances. 

“Actually, yes.” Thalia puts down the drinks she’s holding. “Bring the drinks please,” she says, pulling Alex by the hand. “As bride and groom we don’t want to risk any injuries from all the heavy lifting,” she adds, with an air of humour and absurdity which her fiance shares and they don’t wait another second before disappearing from the kitchen. Just like that, you’re left alone with Jungkook.

He looks at you from across the island. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you smile, feeling your lips purse awkwardly.

For a moment, neither of you move and the air is ripe with hesitation. A hundred thoughts cross your mind but not one leaves your mouth. If Jungkook’s mirrored expression is anything to go off of, he’s feeling the same.

Eventually, it’s Sophia’s voice coming from somewhere in the house that snaps you out of it. “Y/N, we’re doing hair now!” she calls, followed by a faint giggle from the girls.

“I’ll just…” you dumbly don’t finish your sentence, instead opting to just point towards the staircase as you turn around and head back towards them.

“Your water.”

Turning around, you see Jungkook is pointing at the three bottles Thalia was taking out for you, left on the corner of the island.

“Oh, right.” You feel your cheeks warming up as you take the bottles, that was silly of you.

Jungkook steps around the island. “Need a hand? I can take them for you.”

“No, I’m good,” you answer, noticing the way he stops immediately in his tracks. 

When you look at him, his lips are pursed and he just nods, looking down. You realise he was probably just looking for an excuse to talk and you just shot it down. 

Stupidly, you hesitate, and just when Jungkook looks up at you, one of the chefs walks in, greeting you both as she places down a big basket of freshly picked tomatoes right on the island.

Without another word, Jungkook starts placing the drinks on the tray and you turn and retreat back upstairs.

That was so stupid, you think, trudging your way up. Since when has it ever been this awkward between you both? Sure, the last time you spoke wasn’t a good conversation but this is the first time you guys haven’t been able to get past it and it’s becoming almost agonising.

“Worst headache ever.” Alias just manages to raise his head from the table to have a sip of his coffee. 

“Take some anadin,” you say, just about managing to sip on your own iced coffee. 

“Here.” Elisa puts a blister pack in front of him and Alias groans as he swallows two together. 

The whole room around you is a similar scene. Kelce and a few of the other guys are knocked out on the lounge, while you, Alias, Thalia and a few of the other guys are holding strong and knocking back some coffee to help with the hangover. Last night got a little crazy for both parties involved. As expected, Sophia called in the strippers and when the last stripper finally lost his clothes, it was straight tequila shots for the rest of the evening and even Thalia got wasted. 

“This is exactly why I don’t drink,” she moans, resting her head on your shoulder.

You laugh, remembering just how many shots she took last night. It’s true that she barely drinks as much as she did, but when Thalia gets drunk, she gets drunk. 

“A hen night only happens once.” You remind her of her words and she groans in regret. 

“Maybe we should all go dry for a month,” Alias says. 

“Oh come on,” Dillon says, taking the Anadin and nudging Alias. “Give it a few hours and you’ll be ready for another round tonight.” 

“No way.”

“Yes way.”

“Whatever.”

Thalia laughs from beside you. It’s true, he’ll definitely be knocking back the rounds again tonight. After years of friendship, you know that all it’ll take is a coffee, a balanced meal, a cold shower and two to three hours for the anadin to kick in and Alias will be right as rain for tonight. The same goes for yourself and ideally you’d like to be your best tonight. 

This evening is the rehearsal dinner before the big day tomorrow. The house is full of excitement and jittering nerves from some but for the most part it’s just the excitement. 

“My sunshines,” comes Alex’s voice from around the corner before he appears. Honestly, all the excitement could be coming solely from him, you haven’t seen him so happy and carefree like you’re experiencing now. 

A wide smile plastered across his face, his eyes meet his finances as soon as he comes into view. They share a lingering glance, one full of adoration and content. Since arriving at the house, it was the job of the bride and groom parties to try to keep the bride and groom apart as is the Cirillo family tradition, but it hasn’t been going so great. For starters, the bride and groom parties should’ve been separate since arriving at the house and although none of you have been hanging out together much, you probably shouldn’t all be mingling together right now. No one’s really keeping check though, and Alex and Thalia seem to be doing well to keep to themselves. 

“You’re all finally awake,” Alex continues just as Jungkook joins him from around the corner. 

He catches your gaze just as Alias replies. 

“You actually drank the most last night, why are you so cheerful?” Alias asks in disbelief. 

“Maybe because he’s getting married tomorrow,” Elisa laughs. 

“Oh, yeah.”

“And I know how to hold my liquor, big brother.”

“And who taught you, little brother?” Alias sasses back. 

You’re not paying much attention, still looking at Jungkook. 

He smiles at you, a timid smile and he looks away before you can even smile back. 

Forcing yourself to look away, you rejoin the conversation that follows but Jungkook takes a seat on the futon on the far end of the room where your back is turned to him.

The next half hour passes in conversation about the plans for tonight; what everyone’s wearing and the weather for tomorrow. With it being summer, the sun is really sun-ing and it’s been perfect. A bit unbearable at times but it’s nothing a portable fan and some shade couldn’t help. 

Soon, the clock turns closer to 2pm and you know you ought to start getting ready, as does everyone else since dinner is at 7 sharp tonight. The room starts to empty and you decide to head up too. This way, you can squeeze in a nice nap and have enough time to get ready too. 

As you get up from the table, you notice that Jungkook is no longer in the room but you don’t think about it. Maybe after the wedding, you’ll get a chance to speak to him about everything that’s happened between you guys but for now at least, you decide to focus your efforts on Alex and Thalia. 

Sophia is still conked out when you get upstairs to her room but you wake her up knowing she’ll want time to freshen up before she needs to start getting ready. Groggily, she sits up in bed and frowns when she sees you back in your pyjamas. 

“I’m taking a nap,” you say, answering her question prematurely. “Wake me up in an hour please.”

“Sure,” she croaks, reaching for her stanley. 

As she sips on the water slowly, still sitting up in a sleepy haze, you get comfortable beside her and ask Alexa to play some white noise to help drown out everything else. As always, it works like a charm and you’re fast asleep after only a few moments. 

“Wine.” Mrs Cirillo glances around, eyes narrowing as she looks at the tables. “We need wine.”

“Are you sure, mom?” Sophia asks, looking around. “There’s plenty to serve already.”

“Sweetheart, have you forgotten what guests we’re serving? There’s lots of family coming too.”

“Oh, right,” Sophia nods. “It’s been a slow day, mom.”

Mr Cirillo isn’t paying attention though, still looking around and she counts something under her breath before releasing a sigh with a frown. “I definitely ordered wine too, where is it?” She pulls out her phone. “Have either of you seen Charlie?”

“Charlie?” you ask. 

“He’s the guy in charge of the catering,” Sophia answers for you before answering her mom. “Last I saw he was in the kitchen checking on the canapés, and mom I saw some crates when I was coming down earlier, maybe they’re still there?”

“Would you mind checking, darling? And please ask someone to bring them over if they are?” Mrs Cirillo says, still scrolling through her phone and looking concerned. 

You’re sure there’s still 101 other things she’s worried about right now since guests are supposed to be arriving any moment and the wine is just one of those problems. It probably would have been easier if this was a more traditional rehearsal dinner but considering the majority of the guests are from out-of-town, the families thought it discourteous not to invite them tonight.

“We can bring them,” you offer, getting up from your seat. 

“Oh, thank you, Y/N. Yes girls, if you could please it would be amazing.” She looks around once more but you can only see the house guests scattered around and no catering or even decor staff in sight. “Actually, find Alias” she says, looking back with a nod. “He can do it, I’m sure he’s in the kitchen stuffing his face anyway.”

“Sure, mom,” Sophia says, getting up with you. “Let us know if you need anything else.”

“Thank you girls,” she answers, attention returning to her phone as you both walk back towards the path that goes around the house to the front. 

“I’m calling Alias,” Sophia says, pulling her phone out of her purse. “That doofus is around her somewhere.”

“I think the kitchen probably is our best shot but let’s find the wine first.”

“I’m gonna kill him when I see him though, he should be here already.”

“I’m sure he is,” you laugh, “he was down here two hours ago helping with everything.”

“Still, he knows how stressed mom gets.”

Just as you come around the corner towards the driveway, you spot Alias, sleeves rolled up and helping some of the caterers already. 

“Yep, he does,” you answer as you and Sophia come to a pause. 

Sophia just shrugs. “It’s the least that’s expected of him.”

“Fair enough,” you shrug too. 

You know if Alias was getting married, Alex certainly would’ve been front and centre making sure everything was prepared and perfect for his brother's big day and Alias doing the same is, as Sophia put it, the least that’s expected of him.

Taking a crate of wine from one of the caterers unloading the van, Alias turns and smiles when he sees you both approaching. “Hey, Y/N, and hello princess,” he greets his sister as you both approach. “You finally decided to help.”

“It takes time to look this good,” Sophia says with a tut. 

“This is supposed to be good?” Alias teases his little sister. 

She simply rolls her eyes, taking a crate herself and you take one too being extra careful with the fairly heavy load. “Just take that inside. The guests are supposed to be here and mom is gonna freak if the wine isn’t sorted.”

“Yeah, caterers were running late but I’ve got some of the guys helping out here and there.”

Right on cue, Jungkook comes strolling out of the house and just like Alias, his sleeves are rolled up too. Why is he so damn good looking? You must really miss him because seeing him now has you feeling a desperate longing to at least just speak to him. 

He gives a small smile as he comes out but he could just as easily be looking at Sophia or Alias who are both standing right in front of you. 

“Good,” Sophia nods before glancing back at you. She purses her lips and looks back at Alias. “Come on then,” she says, brows raised. I’ll go check on the kitchen if they were all late.”

Without a word, Alias follows and suddenly it’s just you and Jungkook standing still in between the rush of a few panicked catering staff. 

Now you’re certain he’s looking right at you and just like that, you can hear your heart beating in your chest. It’s that cursed Jungkook Effect again but this time it feels worse.

“Hey,” he steps forward, smiling hesitantly.

“Hi,” you answer. Consciously, you try to smile but your nerves seem to be running high. Gosh, you hate this. Jungkook is your best friend, it shouldn’t feel like this. 

Jungkook steps forward again, walking until all that separates you is the crate you’re holding. You don’t miss the way his gaze skims your figure, looking back at your face by the time he’s in front of you. “Let me take that?” He asks it as a question but takes the heavy wooden box from you anyway, it’s one effortless motion and you feel his fingers brush yours as he does. 

He’s looking at you carefully, searching for any clues he can use to dissect how you’re feeling. It makes you self-conscious even though you know Jungkook never has a bad word to say about you, but still, you have so much more to lose now and you’re already at a loss. 

“Thanks,” you smile, unable to look away from him despite how you’re feeling. You really have missed him and the past few days have proven to you just how much. 

For a moment, neither of you say anything – a thousand unspoken words pass your mind and you feel your pulse rising, ushering you to say something but what? You wouldn’t know where to start, even though you know you want to say something. Anything.

“You look beautiful.” Jungkook’s gaze remains rooted on you as he says it, soft and sure.

Releasing a small breath – perhaps one of relief – you smile. “Thank you.” And just like that, your pulse slows down, your nerves subside and you’re calm. 

Focused entirely on you, Jungkook notices the change and reciprocates. His lips curl into a smile, not so big but enough for it to reach his eyes but it’s familiar to you and it’s unexpectedly comforting.“You’re welcome,” he says.

The train of thought in your mind slows down and something about the way Jungkook is looking at you now tells you everything is going to be okay. This must be why, you think, feeling all your worries melt away – it’s no surprise that you’re in love with him, with the way he’s looking at you now, you wonder if he’s always looked at you with this much care and adoration.

For the first time, you see Alex’s point and now you think, was he right?

As though he can read your thoughts, Jungkook’s expression changes and he says your name, pausing with bated breath.

“Yes?”

“Can we talk?”

Suddenly, you’re flustered. “Well, yes, I–now?”

“Um…” Jungkook turns around, looking at the hurried staff and back at the house. “Later,” he says, looking back at you. “After dinner?”

You nod. “Sure.”

“Okay.” He nods too, smiling. “I should probably take this inside now,” he says, still not looking away from you. “But I’ll see you later.”

Again, you nod, and this time you can’t help but laugh, feeling so relieved that things feel more normal than before. His smile grows when he hears you laugh, and he nods once more before turning away and walking back into the house.

“Thank you all for coming tonight and please enjoy the rest of the evening!”

A loud echo of cheers and conversation follows after Mr Cirillo closes off the final speech, with you and your friends included, all raising your glasses before taking a sip of your champagne.

“I can’t believe my baby brother’s getting married,” Alias says, having already emptied his glass. A flute of champagne is a mere two sips to him at most. 

“Feeling sentimental big brother?” Sophia asks, smiling.

“You know what? I think I am,” he says, turning to her with a smile. “You better not be next, I’m not ready for you, okay?”

She laughs. “I’m not even dating anyone.”

“Good, keep it that way.” He looks ahead again but puts his arm around his little sister and kisses her forehead. 

Neither of them say a word but Sophia lets him pull her in, a grimacing smile on her face. As siblings, the Cirillo’s are rarely physically affectionate with each other, especially these two, so it warms your heart to see it. 

“Seems you're not the only one feeling sentimental.” Sophia points at their mom who is hugging Thalia and wiping away a few tears as Alex laughs, no doubt teasing his mom. 

“Alright, they're not married yet so no tears tonight guys…” Alias looks at you guys and you all agree. 

You look around the table and at Jungkook who sits a few seats away from you on the round table, noticing how he seems so much brighter than before. He looks your way too and you exchange smiles, still timid but no longer anxious.

Just then, ABBA plays loud on the speakers and Alias is ushering everyone up and to the dance floor. 

“Okay, hang on,” you laugh as he drags you out. “I need to pee!”

You feel a little bit tipsy having had a few to drink now but Alias holds you and pulls you onto the dance floor. Sophia and Jungkook are right there behind you, as well as Kelce, Shay, Elisa and some of the others. Sophia takes your hand as the pre chorus starts and you all belt out the lines in unison.

There’s not a soul out there, no one to hear my prayers! Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away?!

You get carried away with the chorus, dancing and spinning along as you always do, and just when the chorus plays, Alias takes a hold of you as you dance, swaying you together left and right while you laugh gleefully. Laughing with you, he then not so subtly twirls you in the direction of Jungkook and with a little push, you end up bumping into his chest.

He looks down at you, smiling wide. Still mid-sentence of the song, you laugh and he joins you as you finish the chorus. As the music slows into the next verse, Your friends are still singing and dancing but now, you can only focus on the feeling of Jungkook holding you, one hand on your lower back and the other on your arm. 

You know it must be the lights around you but the way his eyes twinkle have you feeling weak in the knees. With a smile still gracing his lips, he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ears and that’s all it takes for you to feel shy. It would feel silly if the context were different but then his gaze drops to your lips for a second and you suddenly feel butterflies in your tummy as he locks eyes with you again. 

The moment is brief and from next to you, your friends start to shout out the lines again and Jungkook and you join in. You feel his hand let go of your arm and as you step to the side, one stays on your lower back but only for a moment.

Sophia catches your eye immediately and grins knowingly before she nods in the direction of the house. You know what she means and as the song comes to an end and the next one starts, you excuse yourself. 

“Hey!” Alias calls over the loud music. ”This is your favourite, where are you going?!” 

“It’s not mine, it’s my dads,” you laugh.

“Ah, yeah.” Alias, nods, undoubtedly remembering your dad’s 45th birthday party. “Let me find him,” he grins, walking off in the opposite direction.

Jungkook is looking your way as he dances with Dillon and Shay, and you smile before following Sophia as she tugs your hand again.

Many people have had more than a few glasses of wine so you have to excuse yourself as lots of guests bump into you, no doubt enjoying the evening as much as you are.

“What was that?!” Sophia asks excitedly as you both walk up towards the house.

“I don't even know,” you say. Still giddy from all the excitement. 

“Has he spoken to you yet?”

“Not yet. He said he would after the party, so I guess I'll just wait for him to come to me.”

“Well, he totally looked like he was gonna kiss you.”

“Sophia!”

“What?” She laughs. “We all know he wants to.”

“Actually we don’t,” you say, somewhat soberly. 

It’s true, he said he wants to talk to you but he didn’t say what about. It feels easy to be hopeful that he's going to say what you want him to say and Sophia isn’t wrong – he did look like he wanted to kiss you back there, but still, there’s something stopping you from feeling hopeful.

“Oh, come on, this is the moment we've all been waiting for,” she says excitedly, squeezing your arm.

“Maybe,” you laugh, trying your best to push it to the back of your mind. “But let’s just focus on tonight and make sure you drink some water please.”

‘Oh yeah,” she nods, “can’t be looking glum for tomorrow!” 

“No, you can’t.”

She sighs, stopping outside the main bathroom on the ground floor, one of many in the grand estate. “Okay, go, I’m gonna go upstairs.”

“Okay.”

After a moment, you’re drying your hands and stepping out of the bathroom. Sophia’s still not here so you walk towards the staircase just around the corner. Just as you do, she comes down, adjusting her dress as she walks. 

“You look lovely,” you reassure her.

“Thanks, boo,” she says, jumping down the last two steps now that she's exchanged her heels for flats.

“Ooh, wait.” You hold her still as you fix her hair parting for her, carefully moving it back to where she initially styled it… 

“She’s not here tonight but she’ll be here tomorrow, of course.” Two quiet voices grow louder as they probably walk in the direction of the loo.

“I wonder if they’ll announce themselves as a couple. Jungkook has always seemed to be the more private type.”

Hearing Jungkook’s name makes you pause and Sophia frowns at you but her question is answered as the conversation outside is continued, and she too, goes still as she listens.

“Well, yes, Jungkook is private, but Valentina? She would announce it to everyone if she could.”

What?

“Ah, yes, it’ll probably be all over their social media pages, whatever it is they’re using today.”

“Instagram I believe. In fact, she’s probably already published something. With the way they were kissing for all the world to see as she took him up to her room.”

Your heart drops.

“Oh, I heard, Josepehine said she walked past them as they went into her room and she had no shame, even laughing in front of her as pulled his tie off.”

Now you start to feel sick and the anxiety comes rushing in.

“Kids these days, so different from us.”

“I remember I had to hide it from my parents for months!”

“And they still caught you, ha!”

Together, whoever they are laugh and their voices grow more distant as they pass by.

Sophia’s expression has dropped and she whispers your name.

You stare at her blankly, still processing what you’ve just heard. 

“Hey,” Sophia says hushedly, taking your arms, “they don’t know what they’re talking about.” She looks around the corner before looking back at you. “It was just Mrs Morgan and her friend, they’re stupid and love to gossip about anything.”

You can tell she’s trying her best to make you feel better but it won’t work.

“You know what they’re like, they get a tiny hint at anything and they run with it, it’s not true–”

“It is.” Your voice sounds hopeless, even to you.

Sophia pauses, confusion written all over her face. “What?”

“I’m sure of it.” You look up at her, the memory coming back to you. 

You were at the party and Alias told you Jungkook was downstairs at the lounge where you'd seen Valentina kissing some guy in the elevator. When Alias told you Jungkook was last at the lounge around the same time, you thought of the possibility then but stopped yourself because how could it be? You could almost laugh at yourself now you’ve heard it from someone else – it must've been true because Jungkook didn't show up once that night, nor did Valentina after you saw her.

Relaying the memory of the night to Sophia in somewhat of a haze thanks to the drinks you’ve had, she simply stares at you for a few seconds before shaking her head.

“No, that doesn't mean anything, Y/N.” She says it so surely and you want to believe her.

“But it would make sense.”

“No, well yes, but even then, actually no,” she says, conflicted, before taking your hands again. “Look, it can't make sense because there is no way Jungkook slept with Val, he’s in love with you.”

You wish you could believe it, especially because you want to. She’s right that it makes no sense and that's considering Jungkook’s character alone – he wouldn’t do that, not to himself and not to you. But right now, tonight of all nights, you don’t want to think about it.

“Let’s get a drink,” you mumble, taking her hand and walking back towards the party.

She follows but her concern remains. “I’ll go talk to him, I know it’s not true–”

“No, not tonight,” you say, shaking your head. “Let’s just focus on the wedding, okay?”

She hesitates before giving in. “Okay, fine.” 

It’s a quiet walk back to the garden but Sophia takes you through the house towards the kitchen to get you a drink and then to the path that leads to the poolhouse, avoiding the party. You can still see everything as you walk and you catch a sight of Jungkoook and Alias dancing together. There’s a happy smile on Jungkook’s face that makes you feel a deep sense of longing and just like that, everything hurts again.

Tearing your eyes away from the scene, you keep walking and stop with Sophia by the sunbeds. You sit down, putting your purse next to you as you take a big sip of your drink and she sits in front of you, watching you. “I don’t want to believe it,” you say quietly, after a moment.

“Then don’t. I know I don’t.”

You look at her and see she means it. Tears well unbidden in your eyes and you have to take a deep breath and look up at the night sky to compose yourself. You absolutely refuse to cry any more – it’s stupid and annoying that things keep going in circles like this.

“Oh, Y/N, babe. “ Sophia pulls out some tissue from her purse to give to you and you use them to carefully get rid of the tears.

With another deep breath, you look back at her. “I’m fine, this is all just stupid.”

Just as she’s about to comfort you again, two giggling voices come out of the pool house and you look up to see Alex and Thalia, holding arms and cooing each other as smitten as ever as they walk out.

“Heeey!” Alex calls happily as he sees you both but he halts almost immediately, noticing that you’re not okay. “Hey,” he says again, now with much worry and confusion in his voice as he comes and sits next to you.

Thalia shares the same expression as her fiance and she sits on your other side. “What happened?”

You feel stupid and annoyed at yourself now. The last thing you want is to worry the bride and groom the night before their big day but you also know that they won’t let up now that they’ve seen you. Wordlessly, you look at Sophia and she tells them in a short summary what you just heard.

“I don’t believe it,” Alex says as surely as his sister did.

Thalia takes your hand. “Neither do I. Do you?”

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly.

They all stay quiet for a moment and all you can hear is the music closeby, with your favourite song now playing. You wonder if Jungkook is looking for you, having always known you love to dance when it comes on.

Then Alex gets up. “I’m gonna ask him.”

You get up straight away. “No, please don’t.” You look back at Thalia too. “It’s the night before your wedding, I don’t want to think about it, we can deal with it after.” You look back at Alex. “Please.”

He sighs and Thalia squeezes your hand. “Of course,” she says, reassuring you as you sit back down. In doing so, you miss the look that Alex gives Sophia and the silent exchange that the two siblings share as she nods her head in the direction of the party.

“Alright, but I’ll get you another drink,” he says.

Mindlessly, you nod, too distracted to realise that your glass is still half full. As he walks off, Sophia moves next to you too.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Thalia asks, rubbing your back soothingly.

“Not really,” you say. “I don’t think I should even be upset over it, it’s completely one-sided and he never said anything for me to believe otherwise.”

Thalia is about to say something and you’re sure she’s about to use the same argument that Sophia gave earlier – he’s in love with you so he wouldn’t sleep with someone else – but she stops herself and you’re kinda grateful for it. You don’t need to hear that he loves you when he hasn’t even said it to himself. 

The look on his face when you danced together returns to your mind and you feel your chest tighten. You really thought that was the look of someone in love but you must’ve been wrong.

“You’re allowed to be upset,” Sophia says, “but don’t be until you know what actually happened.”

Quietly, you sigh.

“She’s right,” Thalia agrees. “I know what you heard makes sense to you but it’s not something Jungkook would do.”

“I know,” you exhale, confused and now tired. “But how could I know for sure? He’s barely been talking to me since that night with Lawrence.”

“True,” Sophia nods. “That’s kind of silly of him.”

“Right?” you say, feeling a multitude of emotions now. “And even then, I did try to make things okay but he wasn’t listening to me.”

“You mean when he kept saying you should go out with Lawrence?”

“Yeah, like, why would he not just listen to me?!” you ask, now adding irritated and exasperated to your exhaustive list of emotions.

“True,” Sophia agrees. “Honestly, guys are just dumb.”

“They are,” Thalia agrees. “And truthfully,” she adds, glancing at you. “They’re even more dumb when they’re in love.”

You look at her as Sophia just hums in approval. “Whatever,” you sigh, shaking your head. “Thanks guys but I’m just not gonna think about it until after tomorrow.” You smile at them.

Although they can see right through you, they don’t press it further.

“You still wanna dance?” Sophia asks, a playful lilt to her voice as she nudges you.

You’re about to say no but the last thing you wanna do is be the reason your friends don’t have fun tonight. Sophia is the groom’s sister but she’s also your best friend and you know if you choose to retire she would join you so you don’t have to be alone, and Thalia would worry about you all night too.

“Sure,” you nod with a bigger smile. “But another drink first,” you say, downing what’s left in your glass now that the blissful effects of your previous drinks seem to have worn off.

Sophia laughs, getting up. “Of course.” 

Together, you walk back up the path, Sophia changing the subject to what Thalia was doing with Alex in the pool house.

“We didn’t do anything,” she laughs. “We just wanted some alone time.”

“You’re about to marry the guy, that’s the rest of your life with him.”

Thalia smiles. “Still couldn’t be enough.”

Sophia laughs. “Okay, I don’t know whether to be cringed out because that was actually cute.”

“It is cute. I’ve put it in my vows too actually,” Thalia says, proud.

“I can’t wait to hear them,” you tell her. “I’ll probably cry too.”

“Not more than my brother,” Sophia says. “Alex almost cried seeing you today, Thalia.”

“He told me, but honestly I think I’ll be crying myself, I just hope I don’t ruin my makeup.”

“Who did you book for it?” you ask.

The conversation shifts to makeup artists and hair stylists as you all take a few more drinks and together make your way over to the dessert table. You don’t have much of an appetite so you’re about to reapply some lip gloss only to realise you left your purse on the sunbed.

“You want some, Y/N?” Thalia holds out a plate for you but you decline.

“I’m alright, I’m just gonna go get my purse, guys, I left it on the sunbed.”

Sophia looks back at you as she takes a macaron. “Want me to come with?”

“No, all good, I’ll be back in a minute,” you say, already walking off in the opposite direction, past the crowd surrounding the desserts table and onto the path that leads away from the party.

“Tell me it’s not true.”

Alex’s voice is the first thing Jungkook hears before he even turns around.

“Hey,” he smiles, holding out the drink he’d just picked up for himself, only to frown when he sees his friend's expression.

“Please.”

Jungkook has only seen Alex annoyed a handful of times over their decade long friendship and right now, Alex looks pretty close to being annoyed. “What are you talking about?” he asks, concerned.

Alex glances around. There’s no one nearby who could overhear since they’re standing at a drinks table close to the house with only servers around, but Jungkook moves himself anyway.

Putting his glass down, he walks away from the table and Alex walks with him. After a few yards when there’s definitely no one in earshot, Alex stops.

“On the cruise,” he starts, looking straight at his friend. “Did you sleep with Valentina?”

Jungkook looks startled and equally offended. “What? Of course not!” he answers immediately, now with increasing concern.

Alex shares the same concern, evident in his tone. “Then why do people think you did?!”

“I don’t know! Where is this coming from?!”

“Some of the other guests were talking about it.”

“Which guests? How would they know anything and why would they lie?!”

“I don’t know,” Alex sighs, shaking his head. “They must be confused.”

“How did you hear it? Who said it? I can talk to them,” Jungkoook says, already looking around at the people scattered across the expanse of the garden.  

Alex pauses, biting his lip. “Sophia overheard them.”

Jungkook goes still. That means… “And… has Y/N…?”

Alex nods, lips pursed before Jungkook even finishes his sentence. “They were together.”

Jungkook stares at his friend completely confused as a hundred thoughts race through his mind – all of them stop at you. “Fuck,” he sighs. “Did she believe it?”

“I’m not sure, but she said she saw Valentina in the lounge, kissing someone going into the elevator. She couldn't see their face and then a few hours later, she was looking for you and some of the guys told her you were in the lounge… the same time–”

“The same time she saw Valentina,” Jungkook exhales slowly, feeling deflated. “I keep fucking up,” he says quietly after a moment. “I should’ve just told her the truth.”

“Which is?” Alex asks, despite already knowing the answer.

Jungkook finds a small smile on his lips even given the direness of the situation. “I love her.” He says it once and then smiles a bit wider.

Alex finds himself suddenly grinning. “I knew it.”

Jungkook chuckles. “Was I that obvious?”

“To everyone but her, my friend.” Alex looks at Jungkook, brows raised.

Just like that, Jungkook knows what he needs to do. “Help me find her.”

You’re grateful you’re only wearing kitten heels as you walk along the path but it would’ve been a better idea to change into flats like Sophia did, especially since tomorrow you’ll be in high heels for the better portion of the day. 

“Y/N!” 

Someone calls your name and you pause, turning around.

It’s Jungkook. He’s jogging to catch up with you from the rest of the party. He must be coming to talk to you now that the night is coming to an end soon. Given how fast he is, it’s only a few short seconds before he’s in front of you, breathing a bit faster but not out of breath thanks to his perfect stamina.

You don’t know how you should be feeling right now. A part of you is angry at him for everything that has happened – you didn’t ask to start a fake relationship with him only for him to be the one to tell the truth about it because he thought you should be talking to Lawrence instead. And sure, you agreed to the fake relationship, but you’re not the reason for everything that came after and even though Jungkook had good intentions, he did disregard your feelings when you told him multiple times that you don’t like Lawrence romantically at all anymore. Sure, he couldn’t know it was because you have feelings for him instead, but that doesn't mean it was justified.

Another part of you just wants to have things go back to how they were because you really do miss your best friend and there’s nothing more you want than to have him back.

Then there’s the part of you that wonders if he really slept with Valentina. You could believe it, it all adds up and despite how unreliable the source is, you did see Valentina with someone, who now when you think about it, looked very much like Jungkook. The thought of it makes your stomach churn.

“Jungkook, I don’t wanna talk right now,” you mutter, turning away. 

“Wait, I really–”

“What?” you say, turning abruptly and stopping Jungkook from reaching for you. Immediately, you recoil, feeling bad. “Sorry.” You didn’t mean for it to come out like that.

“It’s okay,” Jungkook says, now hesitating.

The look on his face makes you feel even worse than before and you swallow hard. You’re still mad at him so without another word, you turn and walk away, and this time, Jungkook doesn’t stop you. With every step you take a deep breath and calm yourself down, and then–

“Do you honestly believe it?”

You stop in your tracks. Slowly, you turn around. “What?”

He watches you carefully. “Do you really believe it? That I–,” he pauses, sighing. “That I slept with Valentina?”��

You notice that he sounds hurt that it’s something he even has to ask you, and still, hearing it from him hurts far more. “What else am I supposed to believe?” you ask, feeling your walls crumbling but your tone remains rather defensive. “You never said anything otherwise.”

After your many years of friendship, Jungkook knows you and he knows that right now, you’re mad at him but you just need an answer. He knows you have every right to be annoyed at him because he hasn’t been honest with you about anything and it’s because of him that all of this happened in the first place.

“I’m telling you now,” he says, taking a step forward. “It’s not true.” He sees your expression flicker but nothing more. “Nothing happened, I literally spoke with her for five minutes that night before she went back to her room with some other guy.”

Relief — that’s the first thing you feel as you exhale a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. “Okay?” You shrug, suddenly not sure what to say or do now he’s revealed the truth – you didn’t think this far ahead, having only thought of the worst. “Good for you,” you carry on, crossing your arms. “I don’t care anyway.”

“Yes you do,” Jungkook says, plain as day.

You flare, albeit lightly. 

Traces of a smile appear on his face and he carries on. “You do care,” he says, stepping forward slowly, this time without stopping. “And I’m sorry you had to hear it how you did, I know I’d feel shit if I heard the same thing about you.”

What? You’re trying to figure it out – does he know?

Jungkook sighs, smile growing and he stops close to you. You almost step back but stop yourself. He looks down at you with a familiar adoration in his expression.

Softly, he says your name. “You’ve been my best friend for years now, how long has it been since I’ve even looked at anyone else, yet alone slept with them?”

Saying nothing, you shake your head with a small shrug. A long time.

“Heck, I don’t even know myself,” Jungkook laughs softly. “All I know is that for me, my attention was always somewhere else.” 

Your head tilts, brows creasing just slightly. “What are you saying?” you ask, feeling your heart rate speed up as you wait for the answer you want more than anything to hear.

Jungkook’s eyes roam your face for a second, the smile still carved on his lips and he exhales. “I’m in love with you.” You feel his fingers curl around your palms as he takes your hands. “I’m in love with you and I have been for a long time, longer than I even know.”

You say nothing, lips parted as though you want to but nothing comes out as no complete thoughts form in your head. You just feel your heart hammering in your chest and a fuzzy wave of warmth rushes ripples through you.

“I…”

“You don’t have to say anything now,” he says, “I just had to tell you, and again, I'm sorry.”

You’re grateful that you’re standing close enough to the dance floor because if it weren't for the music playing you're sure he would be able to hear how loud your heart is beating in your chest.

“Y/N!” Another voice calls your name from close by. It’s your mom. 

Jungkook turns around, letting go of your hands and she waves when she sees you, smiling as she approaches. “Darling, come take a photo with your father and I,” she grins, completely unaware she’s interrupting anything. “Jungkook, you look dashing,” she smiles at him as she takes your hand. “Nice to see you two have made up from whatever you were arguing about too,” she says, looking at you in question but she doesn't wait for a response from him. Her giddiness tells you she’s had more than her usual liquor intake.

Still reeling from what Jungkook just told you, you just nod and follow wordlessly as she pulls you towards your dad.

“Ah, there she is, my beautiful daughter,” he beams, “come here.”

You wish you could be more present as your parents share a sweet moment of appreciation for you, but you just smile and nod, hugging and kissing them in return as you all take a bunch of selfies together. Your smile is genuine enough though, Jungkook’s confession replaying over and over in your head as it becomes more real.

He loves me.

“Mom, dad,” you say, interrupting them both as they play around with some filters. 

“Yes, honey,” they respond in unison, still slightly distracted.

“Um… Jungkook told me he loves me.”

Both your parents' heads snap up together and you see the biggest smile on your moms face and a look of pure surprise on your dads.

“That kid finally did it,” you hear him say quietly to himself as his expression changes to a smile.

“He did?” your mom cries excitedly, squeezing your arm. “What did you say?”

“Well, you called me then to come here–”

“What?” your dad interrupts, disappointed. “Oh, honey, we’re sorry.”

“It’s okay, I can find him now, but dad…” you frown, thinking about what he just said to himself. “Did you know?”

Your dad shrugs with a smirk. “I had a feeling. A strong one.” He nods in your moms direction and she smiles proudly. “Your mom did too.”

You can't help but laugh. “Everyone apart from me it seems.”

“Well go find him now then,” your mom ushers.”Want me to help you?”

“It’s okay.” Getting up, you kiss both of their cheeks before turning away to go and find Jungkook.

Many of the guests have returned to their hotels or homes now and it’s much easier to find someone from across the garden. As you get closer to the house, you see Thalia and Sophia sitting on the veranda and they grin when they see you coming.

“So,” Thalia says as they sit on the seats in front of you. “Jungkook found you?”

You look at her and Sophia, unable to contain your happiness. “He said loves me,” you say out loud.

They look surprised for a split second before squealing in excitement.

“He finally told you?” 

“This is so exciting”

“Mhm,” you nod, laughing. You’re sure they must’ve already heard it from Jungkook first, given their expressions when you approached, but you appreciate their excitement nonetheless.

“What did you say?”

“I didn’t.” I should have. “My mom came.” 

“Oh.” Their expressions have dropped ever so slightly and you feel it.

“I should have, right?”

“Well, maybe something but your mom came so it's fine,” Sophia says. “Find him now.”

You’re just about to spring into action when THalia stops you.

“The guys have all gone upstairs, Jungkook too,” she says, frowning apologetically. “We’re not supposed to see any of them until the ceremony tomorrow.”

“That's a family tradition,” Sophia says, waving her hand. “But we have an exception here.” 

You wish more than anything to see Jungkook now but you also don't want to disrespect their family – you know the kids won't mind but perhaps Mr and Mrs Cirillo, and Thalia’s parents.

“No, it's fine,” you say, smiling reassuringly. “It's just one day, and at least I know the truth now.”

“Fair enough,” they agree.

“Wow, we might have another wedding again next year now,” Sophia grins, winking at you.

You laugh, feeling a wave of joy as you lean back into the cushions and tell the girls exactly how your conversation with Jungkook went. 

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Laughter and cheer erupts around you as Alex ever so sweetly kisses his bride, cheeks cupped in his hands. It’s a lingering kiss, a sweet one and it has your heart about to burst with joy. 

Across from you, Jungkook is laughing too, cheering for his best friend and he catches your eye for the nth time now and grins, making you smile even wider.

As the bride and groom depart for their photographs, Sophia drags you to the bar and you both get a drink while recapping the events of the morning and then she gets summoned away for the family photos which must mean that the groomsmen are done with their pictures too.

“I’ll come with you.”

“Of course you will,” she laughs, knowingly. “Does this mean you're finally gonna tell him you love him too?”

“I think so,” you grin. “As long as I don't chicken out.”

“You better not, otherwise I’ll tell him for you.”

“Don't worry. I don't think I will.”

“Well definitely not, I know you're so gonna get laid tonight.”

“Hey” you laugh. “I mean it would be nice but I don't care either way.”

“That's sweet, she says, “but please, don't be coy. After all this waiting it would be an injustice to not get laid.”

Suppressing a laugh, you nod. “Okay, noted.”

As you approach the quiet gardens, you spot some of the other groomsmen, Alias included, but not Jungkook. Alias sees you and answers your question before you can even ask it. “He went to look for you.”

Ah,” you nod. “Thanks.”

Saying a temporary goodbye, you walk in the opposite direction away from the gardens and back towards the venue. It's so beautiful here with tall oak trees spread across the lush and perfectly manicured grounds surrounding the elegant mansion. You’re momentarily distracted by the views that you don't notice jungkook as he walks out from around the mansion, smiling as he approaches. 

When you do spot him, he’s stopped in the path ahead of the fountain, holding his own bouquet of flowers in front of his chest. Smiling, you approach him slowly. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he says, unable to fight back his smile.

You stop in front of him, as close as he was to you yesterday and gaze at him.

“You look beautiful,” he says quietly. “Again. You look beautiful everyday,” he adds with a shake of his head.

“Thank you. You look pretty handsome today too.”

“Thanks.” He looks down shyly, lowering the bouquet. “These are for you.”

Looking down at the bouquet, it’s full and in bloom of all your favourite flowers and you know that’s not a coincidence. “They’re lovely.” Taking them from him, you admire them a little longer before looking back up. 

“I'm glad you like them. He takes them back from you and places them on the bench beside you. 

You’re confused for a second but when he turns back, he wraps both arms around your waist and pulls you into him, head burying into your neck. Muscle memory serves you well as you melt into his embrace, his scent engulfing you as your arms wrap around his neck as his chest presses flush against you.

He hums softly and you reckon you could stay here forever. Now you wonder, how did you never realise you were in love with him? Why did it take all of this unnecessary awkwardness and distance for you to know why you’ve always been so unavailable to others? Jungkook has always been the one person whose company you've craved when no matter what the occasion and the only one who really feels like home.

“I missed you,” you murmur, fingers gently moving across his neck as you move.

He keeps you close, arms tight around you. “I know, me too.” His eyes dip to your lips.

“Let's never do that again.”

“Agreed,” he nods, smiling with a wince. “Even though I know it was really my fault.”

“Oh, 100%” you say, feeling the space between you grow smaller and smaller. “All your fault.”

Now, you're looking at his lips.

Jungkook notices and he moves his hand up, slowly sweeping your neck until he’s cupping your cheek in his broad palm, the other arm still holding you tight. He smiles ever so slightly, and when you look up, you can see he’s waiting for something for you. So you nod, and that's all he needs.

He closes the space between you, lips meeting yours in a gentle brush once. Lips parted, you pull away briefly, moving your hand up to cradle his jaw before leaning in again for a more deliberate kiss. He hums, softly, and returns for more, one by one getting longer and more keen. The seconds melt away into minutes and you don't quite know how long you were standing here for, you only know that it feels perfect.

“I love you,” Jungkook murmurs, pecking your lips once more, then your nose and forehead.

You squeeze your arms around his waist. “Say it again.”

He chuckles, sweeping your hair back to kiss your cheek. “I love you,” he murmurs low into your ear, hot breath warming your skin. “I love you, I love you, I love you so much, princess.”

Biting your lip, you find yourself suddenly feeling something you haven't felt in a long time, except recently that night in bed with him on the cruise – a feverish desire for more.

Holding his face in front of you, you kiss his lips. “I love you too.” 

He blinks, endearingly. “I was waiting for that.”

You sigh with an air of amused disappointment. “Why couldn't we have just realised sooner? It would have made our lives so much easier.”

“I think I always knew actually.” He takes your hand and you sit down at the bench. “At least for a long time, I knew there was something.”

“Really?”

He hums, putting his arm around you and you lean into him. “I just didn't really let myself think about it much though, I didn’t wanna change things in case you didn't feel the same, which Ii don't think you did.” he thinks out loud, honestly.

For a moment, you're quiet. “I did.”

He looks at you.

“I don't know from when, but I think I just didn't realise.” Playing with the ring on his finger, you smile. “I probably should have just listened to Alex from the start.”

“Alex?”

“Mhm,” you nod. “He’d been telling me for months that you were into me, I just didn't see it.”

“Ah,'' Jungkook nods, pink tingeing his cheeks as he looks down.

“But now we’re good,” you say, cocking your head and smiling.

“Now we’re good,” he repeats, sealing his sentence with a kiss.

The evening reception goes on late into the night, later than you expect it to. It’s 8pm by the time all the guests turn up and within the next two hours, you've gone through all the emotions thanks to a round of heartfelt speeches from all the family and friends. Alias and Sophia’s speech made you tear up the most and you didn't even dare look in a mirror knowing your makeup is probably already so far beyond repair but luckily Sophia has magic hands and has a technique to apply concealer over powder, so not all was lost.

Except now you can feel yourself tearing up again as Alex and Thalia have their first dance, gazing lovingly at each other while Etta James’ At Last plays in the background with a live band. 

“They’re so perfect together,” you murmur, leaning your head back against Jungkook’s shoulder as you watch them from a raised platform close to the band.

He wraps his arms a little tighter around your waist. “Are we perfect together?”

“Of course,” you grin, looking up at him.

He wrinkles his nose, about to lean in to kiss you when someone coughs quietly next to you. Turning around, you see Valentina with a drink in her hand, coughing again as though she was just choking.

“Are you okay?” You take her drink from her.

“Fine,” she says, waving a hand as she clears her throat and straightens up. “I was actually coming over here to congratulate you since you’ve evidently made up now and have finally realised you’re both stupid in love with each other.” 

Jungkook and you smile sheepishly.

“Then I heard you talking and gosh…” Valentina winces, although her eyes twinkle with amusement as she looks back and forth between you. “You really are disgustingly cute together.”

You let out a snort of laughter. “Thanks, Val.”

You feel Jungkook caress the small of your back. “Thanks.”

“Yeah.” She swiftly retrieves her drink from you. . “I’m glad you worked it out. See you later, guys.” She struts off, as perfect as she always is and disappears into the crowd.

The band closes off the song and everyone applauds, cheering for the happy couple.Then, the familiar melody of Elvis Presley Can't Help Falling In Love starts to play.

“Wanna dance?”

Scanning the crowd, you consider it. Mrs Cirillo is going around, inviting people to the dance floor, pulling some too. 

“I feel kinda shy.”

“What?” Jungkook steps next to you, taking your hand. “Why?”

“I don't know,” you laugh. “It’s fine, lets go.”

“You sure?” Jungkook furrows his brows. “We don't have to.”

“No, I want to,” you reassure him.

Just then, someone approaches from behind Jungkook. “Just who I wanted to see.” Mrs Cirillo is beaming as she approaches you. “I knew you two would fall in love eventually.” She takes your hands and pulls you to the centre of the dance floor. “I just don’t know why it took you so long,” she says before kissing your cheek, then Jungkook’s. “Bless you both,” she grins, before she’s off again.

“I guess we have no choice now.” You step closer to Jungkook and he pulls you in by the waist as your arms hang loosely over his neck. Neither of you say anything as the song plays, the words speaking volumes for you instead – as cheesy as it may seem.

Take my hand Take my whole life, too For I can't help falling in love with you

Fittingly, Jungkook breaks out into a cheesy smile and you both laugh. He pulls you in and together, you share your first dance as a couple. “So,” Jungkook clears his throat, “just to clarify, in case it wasn’t clear, you’re my girlfriend now.”

You feign surprise. “I am?”

Jungkook pouts his lips, his expression a mix of amusement and mock annoyance. “Don’t be mean.”

Giggling, you kiss his cheek.”Ask me nicely.”

Jungkook sighs dramatically but plays along with a smirk. “Princess, would you please do me the honour of being my girlfriend? So I can love you and spoil you forever?”

With a smug grin, you nod. “Of course.”

“Just don’t be that annoying couple who do everything together,” Alias’s voice comes from behind you. Turning around, you see Alex, Thalia and Sophia having gathered too, all wearing knowing smiles. 

“Weren’t they always that annoying couple?” Alex says, brows arching as he smiles as smug as when he first saw you and Jungkook walking into the hall together holding hands. Being the groom on his wedding day, he never got to say anything to you then, but you knew he knew as he nudged Thalia and gestured to your direction. She looked like she was about to cry when she saw you together, though you suppose she was already feeling emotional from the ceremony prior. Still, it was heartwarming to see your friends so happy for you.

“That’s true,” Thalia agrees. 

“At least this time they won’t be sulking around and pining over each other,” Sophia banters.

Alias cringes in jest. “No, instead they’ll be wearing matching pyjamas, or worse yet, slippers.”

He’s definitely referring to the matching sweaters you got for Jungkook and yourself last year – and that was before you were a couple.

“Can’t forget the His and Hers mugs,” Jungkook amuses them as they all groan playfully.

Entertained, you join in. “Oh and the keychains,” you add. “Jewellery too.”

“I’ve already ordered matching charm bracelets,” Jungkook winks.

“Alright, we’ve heard enough,” Sophia laughs.

Alias clicks his tongue. “I definitely know what you two are getting for Christmas this year.”

“But–” Sophia wags her finger between you both, “–just give us a heads up if there’s any proposals on the horizon, I can’t do another wedding cruise single.”

Alias raises a finger. “I second that.”

Jungkook takes the lead as he responds. “Will do, but don’t take too long.” He has a mischievous glint in his eye and squeezes your hand. ‘I know I’m not.”

The fact that you’re not surprised by his answer is what actually surprises you. Smiling, dazed, you simply close your eyes as he pecks your cheek.

Meanwhile, Thalia squeals, excited, as Alex pats Jungkook’s arm, laughing as he encourages him. 

His brother on the other hand, groans, though there’s a heavy tone of cheerfulness in his voice as he pretends to complain, “they’ve already started.” 

Sophia blinks, “I wish I could be grossed out but damn it, I’m not.”

If it weren't for you being on cloud nine right now, you might actually feel sorry for making your friends put up with all of this cringeness, but as it so happens, you're revelling in it. “You might wanna get used to it, guys.” You pull Jungkook in closer, returning to a slow dance as the next song plays. After exchanging a few more playful words, Jungkook and you are left alone again, dancing to the music. 

“You meant that?” you ask.

Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat. “Yes. If you’re sure you want it too.”

Gaze locked on him, you nod. “How could I not?”

As Jungkook's smile lights up, he places a soft kiss on your lips, so soft that it barely feels like it happened. Hand on the back of his neck, you push down and keep him three for another. He obliges, letting you kiss him freely for all the world to see and quite frankly, you probably forget about your surroundings a bit too soon.

“Mm, wait.” You pull back, taking a deep breath. “Let’s pause,” you say, continuing to dance along with everyone else.

Jungkook’s eyes go round. “Why? You okay?”

“Yeah, I just… um…” You press your fingers into your palm, exhaling as you look down. “I’ll want more if we keep going.” You feel slightly embarrassed as you mumble out your response but Jungkook’s immediate reply makes you look up, surprised.

“Me too.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” he chuckles, pulling in his lower lip with his teeth as he comes to a slow stop and looks at you.

“What?”

“Let's get a drink,” he says, not even waiting for you to respond. There are more people dancing now so he weaves you through them, over to the mostly empty tables. Then towards the double doors leading into the rest of the mansion.

Huffing, you try your best to keep up. “I thought we were getting a drink.”

“No, I just said that.” He continues leading you as he walks through the corridors you hadn’t previously seen.

“Where are you going, Koo?”

“I went past it somewhere,” he says, talking more to himself as he keeps walking past a few doors, peering in each one as he does.

“Where?”

“Ah.” He stops, pulling you through a door. He lets go of your hand as he goes to close the door behind him.

Looking around the dimly lit room with only a small window on the far right, you narrow your eyes in confusion. There’s tall racks with coats and hats and other items, lined up along the walls and two others in the centre of the room. A single desk and chair is in one corner, multiple tags arranged in a box amongst a few other neatly placed items of stationary. “A cloak room?” you ask, dubiously, turning around. “Why are we–”

Jungkook kisses you – hard. Hands circling your waist, he’s stepping forward until you're backed up into a wall. One hand finds your cheek, thumb caressing your cheek sweetly while he tugs on your lower lip between his teeth. 

“Oh,” you sigh out loud, now realising. “Cloak room,” you say, dumbly.

“Uh-huh,” he purrs, lips moving to your jaw. “Couldn’t help myself.”

His hot breath sends shivers down your spine, hips arching against the wall. “That-that’s totally okay.”

“You sure?” His tongue swipes just under your jaw, close to your ear, oh so delicately.

“Absolutely.” Grabbing his face, you kiss him hard again, taking pleasure in every second that passes with his lips on yours. 

Opening wider, his tongue darts across yours, the salacious act leaving you desperate for more. You deepen the kiss, fingers curling in his hair as your hips involuntarily push forward again and this time, Jungkook reciprocates, pressing hard against you so you can physically feel just how bad he wants this. His bulge gets you right where it feels good and you falter, knees going weak as one gives way.

Jungkook holds you tight, laughing softly, “That good, huh?” 

“Duh.”

He kneels down, taking your ankle and lifting your heel to his thigh. “You're so pretty,” he says, more to himself than you. He takes your shoes off, right one first, then the left. With your foot still resting on his thigh, he looks up at you, hand slowly caressing your skin as he moves towards your inner thigh.

Even without the heels, you still feel your knees going weak but it feels so good. He watches your lips part, breaths picking up as you try your best to stay patient. “Please do something, Koo.”

“Patience, princess,” he teases and you whine, prompting him to laugh. “Okay.” Acquiescing, he turns his head, placing a rousing kiss on your skin. “So soft,” he murmurs, between kisses. “So perfect.” You want him so bad. “All mine.” With every touch of his lips, his mouth inches closer to where you want him, slowly but surely. Goosebumps prickling your skin, you release short soft breaths and will yourself to be patient.

Jungkook hums, nipping you with light force. “Feel good?” His tone tells you he’s tortured by his own pace as much as you are.

“Yes.”

He looks up, eyes glazed over with a hunger for more. “Tell me what you want.” His fingers brush your sex, barely. 

“Touch me, please.” 

He brushes you again, fingers working their way over your damp underwear. “Like this?” He revels in your soft whimpers.

“More.”

In one swift motion, he pulls your underwear down and reveals everything. You don’t feel shy in the slightest, especially not with the way he’s looking at you. “So pretty.” Fingers sliding over your wet lips, he exhales before he smacks you lightly. “And all mine.”

You whine, moving your hips again to remind him of your needs and he doesn’t make you wait this time. Collecting your slick on his fingers as he moves them back and forth, he then uses his thumb to stroke your clit, the contact making your knees buckle again.

Jungkoook grabs your left leg and places it over your shoulder as he repositions himself for better access. “Such a pretty girl,” he murmurs. “Bet you taste so good as well.”

“Why don't you find out?”

“Mm, I will,” Jungkook chuckles, sliding one finger inside you. “Not just yet.”

“Oh.” Your hand falls to his shoulder, digging in hard.

He stretches you,  watching as you react. Once he’s sure you're good, he adds a second finger, stroking exactly where it feels good.

“Please don’t stop.”

He grips your thigh, holding you up well. “I won’t.” Leaning in, his mouth makes contact with your clit and you mewl under his touch. He’s slow with it first, sucking and circling lightly and you want more. Under the soft silk of your dress, your nipples harden and you reach for one, toying with yourself. Seeing this, Jungkook groans. “That's it baby, touch yourself more.”

Obeying, you pull the straps off your shoulder and let the top of your dress fall, gathering around your waist where you hold it out of Jungkook’s way. His soft moan as you touch yourself tells you he’s enjoying it and as his fingers grip you harder, he starts to flick your clit.

“Oh, that’s it.” It's all you need to feel yourself reaching an orgasm, teetering on the edge as he adjusts his pace. “Please, I’m so close.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“I wanna hear you.” He fingers you harder as his tongue works overtime to get you to come and it works — in a rippling wave, your orgasm washes over you and all you can do is moan as pleasure courses through you. Jungkook keeps you up, slowing down once the peak has passed. He withdraws his fingers and you make sure to steady your legs as he stands. “You're so hot,” he says, looking at you in complete adoration and lust.

Feeling flushed, you manage to smile. “Thanks. Now my turn, please?”

Jungkook chuckles, stepping forward. “I don't think I can be that patient, princess.” As he presses against you, you can feel him a lot more than you could before.

“Oh.”

He tilts his head, hand brushing your chin as he pulls your lips to his. You can taste yourself as he kisses you, tongue stroking yours in tandem motion while he uses his other hand to caress your breasts, moulding the soft flesh before pinching your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. It rallies up arousal for more but your first priority is him. 

“Why are your clothes still on?” You question out loud, having just now realised.

Jungkook suppresses a chuckle, lips quirking into a smile as you make quick work of his tie and shirt.

Your hands roam the expanse of his broad, muscular chest. “Much better.” You only take a moment to appreciate the tattooed eye candy before pulling him back in for another sensual kiss, driven by your desire to make him feel good now, Fingers deftly undo his zipper and within seconds, your hand is slipping past his boxers and gripping his length. The girth alone has your pussy throbbing again. Jungkook releases a low sigh, his kisses becoming more insistent as you pull his cock out of his pants and play with him. 

With a slow swipe of your thumb over his head, Jungkook moans, teeth tugging on your lips and you drag your hand up and down his length, faster each time.

“Let me have a taste, please.”

“Fuck,” he sighs. Looking at your pleading face, he agrees.

You drop to your knees in an instant, letting your dress fall entirely as you go. Without wasting any time, your mouth is on his cock, tongue swirling his red, leaking tip before you move your head. 

“You’re gonna kill me,” he says, voice strained as he looks down at your naked form below him.

Focused on his cock and eager to please, you just hum in response and keep going while he gently moves your hair back, gripping it behind you and you have to squeeze your thighs together in an attempt to ease yourself to the sound of his soft grunts and groans. As they get louder, you grip his thighs and take him as deep as you can. Despite trying not to choke, you cough a little and Jungkook moves back, pulling himself out of your mouth. 

“You good?”

“Great,” you nod, trying to go back in.

Jungkook chuckles, pulling you up before you can get there. “I can’t wait any longer.” His pupils are blown out with carnal desire but his tone is otherwise gentle and affectionate. “Can I please fuck you?”

“You don't have to ask me twice.”

He pulls a condom out of his pocket, tearing the wrapper with his teeth.

Seeing this, your brow arches. “How do you have that?”

Jungkook pauses, looking slightly embarrassed. “Alias,” he says, more in a hushed whisper.

Pursing your lips together, you refrain from laughing. “Alias?”

Jungkook nods, placing the condom on while he explains. “He gave it to me just when we got here before you guys did. He said, and I quote, if there was ever a good time to declare my love for you in its physical form, it's a wedding.”

Shaking your head, you laugh again. “He would know.”

“Oh I know,” Jungkook nods. Alias has a bit of a reputation for being a womaniser on steroids when it comes to weddings.

“I’m glad he gave it though,” you shrug, pulling Jungkook closer. 

“Me too.” His lips find yours again, starting off sweet and slow. Hands circling your waist, he lifts you and your legs wrap around him instinctively. He takes his shirt from the rack you’d flung it towards earlier and walks you towards the desk in the corner and you use the chance to tease him, breaking away to kiss his ear and nibble his lobe.

“You sure you wanna do that?” he chuckles darkly.

“Very.”

He throws his shirt down on the desk before placing you on top. “You sure?” His fingers find your sex, gliding through your cum.

Dazed, you nod.

He takes his cock in one hand and spreads your legs with the other. With a small step forward, he pushes his head into your clit and you whine, wanting more. Deliberately, he slides himself down your pussy, coating his length in your cum. 

“Koo, do something,” you plead, fingers gripping the edge of the table hard.

Unable to resist any longer, Jungkook swears under his breath, pushing himself into you in one steady motion. You gasp, feeling the entirety of him fill you up so good. Jungkook doesn't move, eyes pressed shut as he acclimatises himself to the feeling of being inside you. 

The gratifying burn from being stretched out makes you tense in anticipation. As a result, Jungkook inhales, fingers gripping your thighs harder. Opening his eyes, he looks down to see both of you joined and slowly pulls out, watching his cock glisten with your wetness. Back and forth he goes, moaning at the sight of it.

“Fuck me, properly,” you huff, growing impatient with need.

He rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek and smirks. In one quick motion, Jungkook shoves his dick back inside of you. “Done.”

You brace yourself, moving your hands back behind you on the table and you’re right to do so. Jungkook fucks you with no inhibition, hammering your sweet spot every single time. You always knew he was good at everything — cooking, golf, rugby, gardening, fixing things, running, heck any sport, singing, even poetry when he tries — but the way he fucks you goes beyond any expectation you could’ve had. 

You can do nothing but sit there and take it, jaw slack as your legs spread wide for him. Crying out for more, he gives you what you want and takes you to orgasm. A blissful sensation ensues, heightened by the fact that you’re with Jungkook and you cry his name as you climax. Holding your trembling frame secure, he follows closely himself, coming hard and hot into the condom. 

Heavy breathing is the only sound that fills the room for a moment. You’re basking in all of Jungkook’s post-sex glory, his chest glistening with a sheen of sweat as a few strands of hair now stick to his forehead. He lowers your legs to the desk, kissing you lazily on the forehead before he pulls out and disposes the condom in the trash can under the desk. 

He takes some tissues from the box behind you and attempts to clean himself before zipping up. “You okay?”

Exhaling, you push yourself off the desk. “Never been better.” Your legs wobble as you stand and Jungkook holds you still.

“Best sex I ever had,” he says as a passing comment, helping you clean up.

And you agree. “We’re definitely doing that again.” it’s just now, you realise you’re completely naked in the middle of the cloakroom.

Jungkook is already crossing the room, picking up your dress and heels. Together, you make sure you both look presentable enough to rejoin the wedding. 

Running your fingers through his hair, a smile graces his lips involuntarily. His happiness is infectious and you grin. “Happy?”

“Words can’t even describe it. Especially with you messing my hair up like that.” His eyes twinkle with mischief.

You laugh, swatting his arm gently. "Hey, I'm going for the tousled look. It's called fashion, Jeon, look it up.

"Of course," he says, nodding sagely. "My mistake. You're clearly ahead of your time.

"Exactly!" you say, with mock seriousness. "Now, are you going to kiss me or keep critiquing my hairstyling?"

Leaning in, he places a tender kiss on your lips before his expression shifts, carrying a hint of solemnity. “I am sorry for everything that happened before though.”

“It’s fine. You already apologised. Besides, so am I.”

“You didn't do anything wrong.”

“I could’ve been more honest with you.”

“I should have been first. It’s because of me everything happened that way. If I’d been honest, you wouldn’t have been hurt in the process.”

Sighing softly, you grasp his chin with your thumb and forefinger. “But we’re here now, it happened for a reason. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.”

He smiles and nods. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

6 months later.

“Finally!” Pushing the back of your earrings in, you step onto the landing. “We need to leave soon.”

Jungkook puts down his carry bag by the door, a wide grin on his face. “Are those the earrings I got you last week?”

You nod, smiling. “I’ve been so excited to wear them, they’re so perfect.”

“They’re perfect on you.” He kisses your cheek, still admiring you.

“Alright, I’ll be ready in 15 minutes.” Your dad steps in the front door, putting his own carry bag down next to Jungkook’s as he catches sight of you. “Oh, Y/N, dear, you look beautiful.”

“Thanks, dad,” you grin. “How was golf?”

“Your dad doesn’t like to lose, I’ll tell you that,” Jungkook chuckled, glancing at your dad with a playful smirk. “Although he almost beat me this time.”

“Almost being the operative word," your dad retorted with a grin, giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

“Yeah, He's definitely got some tricks up his sleeve.”

“Coming from you.” Your dad looks at Jungkook, definitely impressed. “You really surprised me today.”

Jungkook shrugs, a quirk to his lips. “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” 

Their cryptic conversation goes unnoticed by you as you check you’ve got everything in your purse. “That’s fab, guys, now hurry up. We need to leave or Alex will never invite us to another party again.” 

“Alright, I’ll just put these away.” Jungkook picks up the carry bags while you rush back upstairs, having remembered to put perfume on. Watching you go, Jungkook feels a wave of nervous anticipation washing over him. He hears footsteps behind him and turns to see your mom come through the kitchen.

“Ah, there’s my beautiful wife,” your dad beams, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

She smiles and turns to Jungkook. "Excited for tonight?" she whispers, her voice filled with barely contained excitement.

Jungkook’s heart skips a beat as he nods. “She still has no idea right?” 

“Not a clue.”

“Good.”

Twenty minutes later, you’re all gathered by the front door, ready to leave as your dad sets the alarm. You step out into the driveway, met by a gust of warm evening breeze. Looking at the horizon, the warm glow of the setting sun paints the sky in hues of orange and pink, casting a serene ambiance and you feel a wave of contentment. 

Jungkook appears at your side, looking at you like he’s falling in love for the first time all over again. Smiling, you lean in and give him a kiss.

“What was that for?”

“I just love you… lots.”

Something in Jungkook’s expression shifts. “Me too.

Your hand finds his and your fingers intertwine. “Ready?”

Jungkook nods, thumb circling your bare ring finger, which, unbeknownst to you, will soon be holding the most perfect princess cut diamond as a promise of forever with him.

“Ready.”

note. thank you for reading! i really hope you liked it! ✨ please share + let me know your thoughts <3 more fics coming soon ;)

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello... again! Are you hyperfixated on RedactedAudio?

Do you want (need) to know who to follow to cultivate your dashboard and feed your gremlin brain good, good boyfriend roleplay content and my first recommendation post of magnificent fan-artists and fan-writers wasn't enough dopamine for you?

Cool, I’ve got you, and I’ve got even more hyperlinks. Buckle up.

(Note: This is by no means a comprehensive, objective, or complete list, as I have biases and favorites and limited time. If you feel I've missed someone, please feel free to reblog with your additions! I just would have loved a guide like this when I got into the fandom back in August 2022 and wanted to spread some positivity~!)

Fanfiction:

@agentplutonium: they/them

Pluto is just one of the many gorgeous people who've migrated to Tumblr now that Twitter is, ya know, on fire. I've been following them on Tiktok for ages, and I'm so pleased they joined us on tumblr now! Highlights: "Constant" and "Inconvenience" mean the world to me, because there are just not enough aspec headcanons in the fandom, we could always have more.

@angelicaether: they/them

Aether is a fucking gem unto this fandom- not only do they run Sky Side, a friendly, closeknit (hehe) server for 21+ Redacted fans but they also were who we have to thank for Redacted Kinktober 2023, bless them~ Highlights: New Job Posting is magnificent if you’re in the mood for some David/Angel smut today and this cute couple crossover fic if you’re feeling more SFW!

@caelumsnuff: they/them

Phoenix is magnificent, creative, and endlessly sweet. I also respect the hell out of anyone that can take the anon hate that they get with as much grace and attitude as they do /gen /pos Highlights: I love this gift for the Quinn-fuckers they wrote, I do, but I have to admit I'm partial to the Imperium!Vincent/Imperium!Asher piece they did, because their tension and hatred was just too palpable to deny, I needed it.

@empydoc: any pronouns

Empy's Soul Eater AU has not only taken over my life but has also got me deeply wanted a Soul Eater rewatch. God forbid xe succeed because this post has already been delayed enough /j Highlights: I love the Marcus/Asset post, because that's my favorite pairing but also because Asset as both an android and a weapon is so, so interesting. Blake/Bestie's is also a particular gem, because being a meister just gives him a new dimension to his manipulation and I love it.

@floofdeloop: she/her

Not only is Floof a beloved fic writer but she's also one of the adored DJs of the fandom. Are you really a fan if you haven't looked up Redacted on Spotify and saved all her playlists? /j Highlights: Her whole playlist page is literally so good, but I love the cute, domestic vibes of this Geordi one or the tragic, angsty, Britrock vibes of this Porter playlist~!

@joshusten: they/them

Sten is one of if not the writer that comes to mind when you're looking for amazing Guy/Honey content! Highlights: Bitter Melon is my personal favorite of their work; what can I say? I'm a sucker for a little jealousy in my fics. You also can't miss Honeysuckle, their most recent piece which gets into Guy's canonically less-than-pure mind~

@pinksparkl: she/her

Gosh, where would we be without her? Pink never has a bad word or thought for anyone and just persists in being a delightful, sweet presence in the fandom. Highlight: I can't decide what I'm more obsessed with- their Adam-centric fic exploring the Progeny/Maker bond or their nsfw Gavin-centric with his tail exploring Freelancer nudge nudge wink wink

@redlikeredacted: they/them

Just as their blog says, they are the CEO of Dasher. In my head, they are the president of both the David/Asher and the Autistic!David fan clubs, and I'd vote for them a second and third term okay I love Red Highlights: Their "David bottoming for the first time" fic is everything to me okay I am here for nothing but this except maybe this Milo fic where he gets Aggro~

@teafairywithabook: she/they

A lovely writer, voice actor, and person, Cheri does it all! With a whole 34 Redacted works on AO3, they are a must-follow. Highlights: I'll provide the masterlist of previously mentioned works, but I must recommend her nsfw Avior/Starlight fic keeping us sated until we finally get an Avior BA and their fic of Alexis's POV of Sam's turning I couldn't not okay I'm just a person I have biases

@tepid-judas: he/they/it

My favorite Adam stan, my friend, and the person who converted me into an Adam/Brighteyes shipper, I thank Judas every day for that. Highlights: I love their series of epistolary fics, because who doesn’t love a good letter, but I would be remiss if I didn’t rec his DAMN polycule plus Xavier fic cause fuck canon let's add frosty the snowman to the orgy /lh

@themonotonysyndrome: she/her

Lady, my dearest friend and greatest foe~ How else do I describe the gorgeous, sociable, friendly person who bought Alexis/Christian into the world and ruined my life? (affectionate) Highlights: Let these two assholes in love take you on a ride, fall in love with them too. If that's not your vibe, I cannot recommend enough her insane, gen z Bright Eyes being an absolute fucking terror /pos

Fanart:

@androgynouspenguinexpert

Can YOU believe Penguin's only been posting art since, like, December? I certainly can't, because it's like they've drawn every boy at this point and each is as smoochable and adorable as the last. Highlights: Their Porter is one of my favorites; what can I say? Who can resist this high ponytail and cape combo? I also love their Hush, cause look at him~! He's adorable! Penguin gives all these boys such luscious, floofable hair; I love them!

@cute-brainz: she/they/it

Kindly, lovingly, respectfully, Cute's listeners designs reduce me to a sniveling, simpering puddle of a simp. I become nothing but a humble, simple straight man, and none of you came blame me good god their listeners are hotter than all the redacted men- Highlights: Like, look at their Lovely: the hair, the singlet, the VIBES? Fuckin irresistible; like Vincent, I'd give them anything their heart desires. And their ANGEL? The MINUTE David Shaw fumbles that bag, I'm on my knees with a ring hello earth angel will you be mine

@darling-solaire

Darl has been posting art for only a month and a half at the writing of the post, and yet I feel like I've loved their Solaires for forever. They, as a unit, are hot and tragic as fuck, and I love them. Highlights: I am obsessed, particularly, with the Solaire family portraits, but maybe that's because my girl Alexis is up there, and I love her. There's also this bust compilation of more Redacted boys in case you didn't find your favorite in the Solaires~!

@free-boundsoul: she/her

Okay so, like, vibe with me did you ever love Lisa Frank products with the bright, saturated colors and sparkling eyes but wish instead of cuddly animals that there were really hot men? Then Savvie is the artist for you~ Highlights: One, it's fun to see a Regulus that's not blue, okay? It's thinkin outside the box. Two, the CRACKS? WITH THE GOLD PEEKING THROUGH? I'm inconsolable my god. Speaking of daemons, Fool!Gavin is sort of everything to me. He's just really rocking that sweater vest!

@hotmcrodz: he/they

I know for a fact that I'm not the only one obsessed with the way Jai draws human anatomy. I have unironically seen a Jai piece in the tag and gone "WOWZA" like I'm Jim Carrey in The Mask; that's what they do to me. Highlights: This Milo was one of the pieces that made my eyes pop out my head like a cartoon wolf; I think it's the shirtlessness plus the muscle pose. I just couldn't handle it. I also reacted like that to their Babe because I am an equal opportunity pervert /hj

@izzuku: he/they

Izzuku designs characters with the most realistic and gorgeous body types; like, I love the soft jawlines and how warm and touchable they draw skin. Every Izzuku design is kissable as hell. Highlights: I have to recommend his Regulus and Hush designs, obviously, they're my favorite men. However, I can't let the world go by another rotation without recommending this special Halloween version of Vincent~!

@kilarthmac: she/they

In case we needed another reason to love and appreciate the iconic timestamping account we all recognize from the Redacted comments, we cannot neglect their fanart! Highlights: Like, look at this brought-back-wrong Vega! This Hush with his cute face and off-putting air! He's so cute and so weird! I also love this piece they've done for one of my favorite rarepairs, Imperium!Lasko/Adam~

@latenightsleeper: he/they/it/she

My kinfolk and my beloved, one of the few people who understand me and the vision that is beautiful, blonde, dumb and lovable Christian. They will give you so many feelings about Darlin and Christian, and they will cause you agony /pos Highlights: Obviously, I'm obsessed with the Tank/Christian art like this one (Christian is just so cuuute), but we're all obsessed with this Sam/Darlin animatic set to Eat Your Young.

@maxpaulll

An amazing artist that I'm so glad we managed to get to migrate to Tumblr from Twitter so I could put them on this list~ Highlights: I am obsessed always with their Indigenous character designs, especially David. Like, look at him, he's indescribably beautiful, outshone by no one except maybe Max's Imp!Vega, because oh my god look at him~

@nortyourself: she/her

I don't think there's anyone who's not obsessed with at least one of Rachel's pieces; like, I believe she'll get to every Redacted man with the speed and beauty she works. Even Reticuli has gotten the Rachel treatment and been made hot af. Highlights: Technically, this Imperium!Damien just takes me breath away; like, it would be blown up and framed in his palace (for all of his short and tempestuous reign). Personally, her Hush has a dear and special place in my heart. He's just my favorite~!

@penncilkid: any pronouns

One of the most gorgeous and darling and non-stop creators in the space! They're a true triple threat, kicking our hearts in the butt with their art, their writing, and their audio roleplay series~ Highlights: With so many mediums under their belt, it's so hard to choose. If you're looking for purely Redacted content, their art is prolific and so creative, I've got to share the whole gallery. If you're in the market for a new VA to fall in love with, you've got to check out their youtube channel~!

@pycth: any pronouns

I dont have anything creative or profound to say here- all of pycth's designs are smoking hot and would render me selectively mute with a glance, 'nuff said. Highlights: How can I PICK? Ugh, hottest of the hot that comes to mind has got to be their President Moore art; like, this pose isn't FAIR. On the other end of the spectrum, if you want your heart kicked in the butt, I don't think any of us are over this Sam piece or ever will be.

@rainingcatsandjune: any pronouns

Another new artist who's only been here since April, and yet- I would die for his and his fine-ass, touchable Sam. Like, hell, render any man pretty like that, and I'll die for him. That's how pretty this art is. Highlights: Like, look at him. How does one do anything but look at him, especially in this pose? Again, look at him! Look at the hands. The soft, touchable glow and how it lights and shades his and Darlin's skin. The broad shoulders good god~

@sainthowlzon: they/he

You can't turn a corner on tumblr without seeing some of Howl's adorable Scribble Dolls or Icons! (Or any other social media actually. I feel like I've deffo seem some of Howl's icons on Tiktok too.) They're cute, they're iconic, and there's one for almost everyone! Highlights: Here's that full set of icons for your perusal; my personal favorite is Asset's. And here's the full set of Redacted Scribble Dolls; my favorite is Regulus, I think, because of his freaky vibes, but it's so hard to pick!

@sincerelywhistler: any pronouns

Like everyone with a working set of eyes and a beating heart, I am obsessed with all of Wes's designs; like, who wouldn't fall in love at first sight with all those beautiful and often shirtless people? Highlights: There's honestly too many to pick from, but I'll TRY. Their Gavin is an absolute must, I share it with the Discord on sight, he's that it girl if you will. Oh, and one cannot neglect Avior's HBS piece; I'm not even an Avior girlie, and I was like daaaaaamnnnnnnn~

@slushiepizza: they/them

Where would all the guy-lovers be without Slushie and their absolute cornucopia of Guy and Honey delights? Like, where else would we get our homemade, MacGyver'd serotonin? Highlights: The "Everyday" series is everything to me, and I mean everything; Guy has become too relatable and has struck me right in the heart. If you're not in a Guy mood, I'm also in love with their older, cozy Anton~!

@s0lairee: she/they

Jo's style is just so clean, so cute, and I really love it when they play with lighting in their pieces. Like, we are almost, almost there to making me stan Vincent if you're gonna drape him in moonlight like that... Highlights: ...thought, if I had to pick, I'd probably lean more towards Vincent's partner. They're rocking the red eyes, I love them! I'm also obsessed with their freckle-y, sweet Lasko, because who isn't?

@strawberrybouvine: he/they

The artistic equivalent of gourmet candy, I am absolutely obsessed with the gorgeous colors of Jasper's art and cannot get enough of the sweetness! Is this sugar running through my veins or unparalleled cuteness? Highlights: I'm not even a David stan but, like, jesus christ, the long hair and hairy chest makes me want to go feral. Don't even get me started on the cuteness of his chibi art, I really will start foaming at the mouth.

@theflowersaremine

I don't know exactly what medium Haylin uses or what colors or effects they use, but goddamn it makes those men so dreamy. I'm not even a Sam stan, but that's a smoochable man right out of Gilmore Girls /pos Highlights: Like, are you seeing the Gilmore Girls vision? That's a handsome man from a wholesome show geared for women- almost as handsome as this art of David. I see this smile in my dreams; it's so beautiful.

@venuslove-28: any pronouns

Venus's art is strawberry and vanilla soft serve injected straight into my heart; it's so familiar and cute, so charming, and I want to stim and bounce in excitement when I see it. Does that make sense? It'll make sense when you see it. Highlights: Personally, I have never and I will never stop thinking about this Huxley, I am simply not capable. Their Avior is also cuter than all get-out, I must admit.

@wingless-cupid

I don't think anyone does cute and colorful and pastel and kawaii quite like Cupid. You can't help but look and admire all the eye-catching colors and then want to hug their cheery, dynamic characters! Highlights: I'm highkey obsessed with their Freelancer and DAMNily and all their d(a)emons in general. Like, look at this! Minh is such a cutie and a simp, I love them! I'm also constantly thinking about this art in particular, because look at all these PRICELESS EXPRESSIONS!

@yoteako: he/it

Would you like stunning, high quality art and tragic, old man yaoi on your dash? That's a silly question; of course you do which is why we're going to follow and love on Yote. Highlights: See how beautiful, doomed, and intimate this multi-page comic is about two characters who've never canonically spoken? That's devotion. On the less forsaken side of the narrative, their Gavin/Lasko ship art is embedded into my heart.

If you’re reading all the way here, I hope you found the post helpful and smiled while making your way through it! Or both! The RedactedAudio fandom is truly one of my favorite spaces on the internet; it’s so intimate and creative, and I’ve found some amazing, perfect friends here, so I hope you will too 💖

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Deborah Kerr (Bonjour Tristesse, An Affair to Remember, The King and I)— For several decades she held the record for most Oscar nominations without a win (6 in total), and she was a prolific leading lady throughout the 40s and 50s. She's best known today for the romance An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant, and as the governess in The King and I. Many people have this erroneous perception of her as extremely prim, proper, and virginal, but this could not be further from the truth. When she first came to Hollywood under MGM she was typecast into boring decorative roles, but broke sexual boundaries for herself and Hollywood generally in From Here to Eternity, when she made out (horizontally!) with Burt Lancaster (on top of him!) in the famous Beach Scene. She went on to play many sexually conflicted women, a character type that would define most of her post- Eternity work. She continued to break Hays Code boundaries with Tea and Sympathy, which addresses homosexuality/homophobia head-on, and even did a topless scene in The Gypsy Moths 1969!! One of the only classic stars to do so. She deserves a more nuanced and frankly a hotter legacy than she currently has!!!

Ethel Merman (Anything Goes, Call Me Madam)— Possessed of a bold, brash voice, and an even bolder and brasher presence, Ethel Merman might be more well known for her stage roles, but she made several movies, and was bold and brash in them as well. Also I think if I don't submit her, she's going to come back and haunt me.

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Ethel Merman:

You've gotta love any woman who got typecast as lead-MILF

Deborah Kerr:

I think she was one of my first crushes before I realised I was bi in The King and I when I watched it as a kid honestly. The kissing scene in From Here to Eternity is iconic for a reason. Actually tried to learn the accents for the characters she was playing if they weren't English which is more than pretty much anyone else was doing then. Played very restrained characters who frequently seemed to be desperate not to be so restrained. Did horror movies without venturing into hagsploitation tropes. Gave Marni Nixon the credit she deserved for her share of the singing in The King and I.

Anne Larsen is a peak late 1950s bisexual with big MILF energy. Have you seen the behind the scenes pics of her wearing a suit?? Have you????? Vote Deb as Anne Larsen.

Nominated for an Oscar six (6) times and never won, but besides her having actual talent (hot), and besides her looking Like That (very hot, also beautiful), she was always playing women who are, like, crazy repressed. Which makes it fun and easy for me to read these characters as queer. Icon!!!! You know what's hot? Playing ambiguously gay in vintage Hollywood.

Her face and talent and body, yes, ofc, duh. But also!!! Her HANDS!!!! I may be but a simple lesbian, but she is the best hactor (hand actor) that ever lived and that's HOT! For propriety's sake I feel I must redact a large portion of my commentary on this subject. Anyway. She's hot in her most famous roles (mentioned above), and also some of her sexiest hacting is on display in An Affair to Remember (her hand on the bannister when Cary Grant kisses her off-screen??? HELLO???), Tea and Sympathy (when she's trying to persuade Tom not to go out and she keeps flexing her hands like she wants to reach out to him but can't??? ALLY BEHAVIOR! WE STAN!), and The Innocents (which opens and closes with extended shots of her hands bc director Jack Clayton was also an ally and he did that for ME). Much of her appeal also lies in the fact that she often played deeply repressed characters and you know what's hot? When those uptight characters finally unravel. It's sexy. It's cathartic. It's erotic. Plus, she's beautiful to look at in both black & white and technicolor, and the more of her films you see, the more you can't help but fall in love!

Literally is in thee most famously sexy scene of all time (or maybe just during the hays code era which is what we're talking about HELLO), which is the beach scene with Burt Lancaster in from here to eternity. To quote a tumblr post of a screen capture of a tweet of a video of joy behar on the view: "y'know, there used to be movies where they were kissing on the beach... From Here to Eternity. They're kissing-- Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr are Kissing on the Beach and then the WAVES crash!! You know exactly what they did!"

She might have a reputation of being chaste and virginal or whatever, but we all know it's the quiet ones who are certifiable FREAKS

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

Familoier:

I CANT SPEND THE NEXT HOUR TYPING

THE TRIO OF ALL TIME TRULY- ALL 3 OF THEM LOVE AND CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH- LIKE ROIER AND CELLBIT ARE MARREID YEAH BUT THEY STILL CONSIDER JAIDEN PART OF THEIR FAMILY SHE IS IMPORTANT TO THEM AND THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO HER- ROIER AND JAIDEN WILL ALWAYS BE PARTNERS NO MATTER WHAT

theee relationship of all time: roier is husbands with cellbit and jaiden is his qpp, they are all so caring for each other and they have had their tension and their bad moments but there's a genuine want to communicate and grow better all the time :( <3

Cellbit and Roier are romantic married, Roier and Jaiden were platonic partners raising a child together, and all 3 are chaos together! But get along so so well! They support each other so much and care about each other so deeply and they are all Sillies

this is jaiden, and this is jaiden's partner/ the father of her child roier, and this is roier's cannibal husband cellbit

Boreal Trio:

look. look okay so youve got two battle hardened at least mildly immortal warrior brothers-in-arms slash best friends slash partners for life, and then youve got this anxious, queer wet cat of an enderman who lives in their shed. oooh my god this is gonna be so incoherent im so sorry. ranboo was doing soooo awful when doomsday happened and both techno and phil immediately went him. that one. he needs to be safe and supported and away from all of this he should come with us. only if he wants to. and he did want to!! he was soo anxious but he got more confident!! none of them are great at expressing their feelings verbally (techno is but he also does other things) so they do it in other ways! phil rushing over as soon as he hears ranboo CLOSE to water because he knows it hurts him! techno moving the prison break up from 'some time soon i guess' to 'now now we are leaving now we are doing this RIGHT NOW' as SOON as ranboo gets detained!! avenging his ghost, throwing any and all hesitation about tubbo away to work with him because that was what ranboo wanted, that was what he asked. always checking in and making sure he was okay. all three of them are soooo dysfunctional but i love them so much. think of the mansion raid streams!! techno and ranboo off adventuring, phil taking care of the animals and getting up at 3am real time to trigger their stasis chambers!! they care about each other all so fucking much and they are a family! please vote for them i will be very sad otherwise :(

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.8 K Warnings: ANGST! Prompt: Meanwhile, on the other side of the line... This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 45: Hold the Line

Love isn’t always on time

Tuesday, December 24th

Christmas at the Potters was always a blast. Sirius had learned that when he turned 12 and got invited to their house to celebrate Christmas after he got a dreadful howler about being a disgrace for the Noble House of Black and getting detention for the prank they had done to the Slytherins.

James had overheard Sirius cry at night over the fact that he’d have to spend Christmas alone in the school and decided he had to do something about it. He wrote a letter to his Mum and Sirius got officially invited to their home for the break. Now, the Potters sent the invitation to Sirius and Sirius only, and he got on the train as if he were going home without telling anyone about it. He got another howler when Walburga found out, but it had been worth it. 

He hadn’t been allowed to the Potters for Christmas next year, and he made sure to make a show out of it, wearing muggle clothes to the family dinner and acting so irreverent that Orion locked him up in his room, after giving him a scold, slashing him with diffindo, and making him write “I will behave,” over and over again with a black quill. It didn’t work, Sirius made sure to behave even worse on the New Year’s event and he got officially banned from December celebrations by Walburga. 

Next year, he was back at the Potters and happier than ever before. The scars he’d gotten (already long gone) had been worth it. Since then, he’d spent Christmas with them, and every year had been better than the last. Effie was always nice to him, and even with how much she was like James, she was still motherly, especially in comparison to Walburga. 

And she had treated Sirius like her own boy since they met. In fact, there was never a difference in the way neither Monty nor Effie treated the two boys, they were their kids, and they treated them as such. Sirius appreciated it deeply, he’d found love, care, and appreciation there and he considered Effie more his mom than Walburga ever was. BIood be damned, family isn’t about what’s running through your veins but about the way you care and treat each other, and if anyone was family to him, it was his brother James, and his parents Effie and Monty. 

This year had been no different, from the moment they arrived at the house, the smell of Christmas filled the air. Effie had prepared cookie dough for their yearly making of gingerbread houses. It was a small competition –Effie loved competitions– but they all had to build elaborate creations (with a magical twist) and then they’d set them all on the counter and have the house elves judge and pick the best. Whoever won the contest got an extra gift on Christmas.

Sirius had won once, but Monty was always adding clever new magical things onto the houses, like last year when he made a snow globe house, with magical snow  –actually sugar– that would swirl around in the air sending positive Christmas words like “Joy” and “Mirth” and even “Happy Hannukah!”, which according to him, was a muggle tradition from a different religion than the one Christmas had spawned from. 

This year though, Effie’s recreation of the Big Ben, alongside the magic stars she had made float all around it had gotten the best of both Mellie and Picksie, the Potter’s house elves. And they had unanimously voted her the winner. She had been really pleased about the results, so pleased she had made a little victory dance, showing off her creation and making it the centre of the table. 

Sirius saw the adoring look Monty had given her as she danced around, boasting her triumph, and he thought he’d never met a couple more loving than the two of them, but he wanted to match it, he wanted to make you feel the same way Monty made Effie felt all the time, but then he remembered Remus, and felt a pang on his chest, since he too wished he could make him as happy, which was obviously a contradicting thought to the first one. 

“Darling, are you all right?” Effie asked when he noticed his frown. Sirius had relatively subtle expressions when he wanted to hide his feelings, something he had learned to do at home, the Stony Black look, but Effie knew that look well enough, and she instantly knew something was up with her boy. 

Sirius turned to her with a short “Hm?” as he got driven away from his own thoughts. “Yeah, I was just thinking if she’ll like the gift I made her.” 

Effie smiled softly at that, she’d been one of the people to encourage him to draw something for you, especially since she knew you’d been one of the first people he’d shown his art to. James had been very offended when he found out Remus had seen his art before he had and complained to his mother about it while they were making the gingerbread houses, which is how she’d found out. 

“I know I’d love it if Monty made me a drawing, and he’s terrible at it, so I’m certain she will,” she reassured him, “If you want we can go out later and you can get her something else, though.” 

Sirius shook his head, he didn’t want them to spend even more money on him than they already had, “No, don’t worry about it, I’m probably just self-conscious.” 

Effie smiled, there was something heartwarming at seeing Sirius like this, he had never been nervous about a girl, in fact, she wasn’t sure he’d even bothered to get a gift for one before, he looked like a love-sick puppy, it reminded him an awful lot of James, except you liked him back, unlike that Evans girl. Talking about that Evans girl. “So, James is dating Lily now?” 

“He somehow convinced her to go on a date,” Sirius said with a shrug, “they went to the Slug Party together.” 

“Really?” Effie asked with raised eyebrows. 

Sirius nodded in return, “But I cannot give you any more details.” 

“It’s all right,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, “I can pry them off of him later.” She then turned back to Sirius, “You’d think she’d come if we invited her over for dinner with everyone or something? Maybe on New Year’s?” 

Effie knew Lily, she had seen pictures of her and she had crossed a few words with her on those occasions she visited the school for a quidditch match. She thought she was a nice enough girl, but she had never had an actual conversation with her and she certainly wanted to do it now. Although, with how much James talked about her, she felt like she knew a good deal and she considered her a delightful young lady, except for the fact that she kept rejecting James. 

“I’m not sure, she might if Vix comes,” Sirius responded with a shrug, “they’re really good friends.” 

Effie smiled in a sort of devilish way, the same smile Prongs had when he had a good idea for a prank, and gave a short pat in the head to Sirius (which she had gotten a habit of doing back when he was much shorter than her) and walked towards the kitchen. 

Sirius decided to go for a broom ride to clear his mind, James and Peter tagged along with him and they ended up racing around the house at insanely fast speeds, fast enough for Sirius’ hair tie to loosen up and leave his hair flowing wildly behind him, and somehow also fast enough to have his mind be cleared of those thoughts he kept having of both you and Remus. Peter left early since his parents called for him, while the other boys decided to play a game of Magic Chess back in the living room. 

By dinner, both of them had already eaten half of the gingerbread houses they had made, and some other fancy treats Monty liked to cook for the smaller Christmas Eve dinner they always had. Sirius thought it was fantastic since they almost had two parties instead of one. The first time he stayed at the Potter’s he had been so thrilled that he had accidentally blown up some of the decorations. Effie taught him an advanced version of reparo, and the two of them fixed the place together after that.

This time, Monty had asked for their help with the cooking, since Effie had gone out with the elves to buy more stuff for tomorrow’s dinner. It would be rather small, very few people had been invited due to the war and the fact that not many wizards knew which side the other was on, but Effie was set on having the place be as nice as ever. 

Monty loved cooking, he had at some point mentioned that it was like making potions and that there was something oddly satisfying with how a bit of heat and a few spices could make even the most boring of dishes get filled with flavour, and he was set on teaching James, and by extension Sirius, how to cook. 

“Perhaps you could make a cake for Lily,” he said as he passed James the measured flour for him to add, “your mother loved it when I sent her homemade cupcakes.” 

“You did that?” Sirius asked with raised eyebrows. 

“Mhm,” Monty nodded, “beat that a bit faster,” –he said politely as he pointed at the egg whites Sirius had been tasked with fluffing up– “She said she liked men with cooking skills and I asked my mum to help me with it, she sent me a bunch of cooking books and here we are now. James, have you added the cinnamon?” 

“Eh…” James thought about it for a second and looked around the counter. The cinnamon was pretty far from where he stood, “don’t think so,” he admitted. 

“That’s all right, I’ll add it for you,” he said and waved his wand, in an instant the cinnamon container was lifted up and after shaking softly three times and after dropping some cinnamon over James’ dry ingredient mix, it went back to its place on the table. Then Fleamont went back to cutting the apples into small pieces. “When you’re done with that James, please add some butter to the pans.” 

“Okay,” James said with a nod and got busy with his task. The three of them were surprisingly efficient in the kitchen. They hadn’t been like that the first time around, but Monty decided they had to know how to –at least– make soup if they were ever going to live alone one day and had them take an intensive course a couple of summers ago. Both James and Sirius had gotten much better grades at potions after that, especially because Monty, being such an expert potioneer, had taught them to cook with potion-making techniques. 

He hadn’t done it intentionally, but he was pretty satisfied with the result, especially when Effie praised him for being so clever and entertaining the kids with cooking while also teaching them something. He took the credit for being slick with a smile. 

By the time they were done with the cake preparations, the food was ready to pull out of the oven. Monty and Sirius took the stuff out and passed it to James who took it to the table that Effie and Picksie were setting up while they focused on revising the temperature and placing the cakes in the oven. They had made three cakes, a chocolate cake that was James’ favourite, a carrot cake that Monty loved and an apple crumble one that both Sirius and Effie were mad about. 

Effie had gotten some extra treats for the boys, and she had even gotten some Shepherd's Pie from a muggle place called “The Wingmore” that Monty loved. They had a delicious family dinner together, with cookies, pie and baked potatoes. They caught up with each other, and both Monty and Effie teased James about Lily mercilessly. Then Monty mentioned something about having “The Talk” with James and Sirius had to cough it in order to hide a cackle. 

Prongs had kicked him under the table while Effie had appeared a glass of water for him so he could take a drink, and Sirius had thanked her with the soft charming smile of his that made all the girls swoon, James glared at him for it, and the other boy winked at him brazenly. If it went something like the talk Monty had given him 2 years ago when he started dating around, James might not survive it. 

Sirius walked back to James’ room and decided to wait there for him to tease him once his talk with Monty was over, but Sirius was pretty tired from a day filled with fun, and he fell asleep pretty much the second he hit James’ bed. 

He woke up a few minutes later when he felt a heavy leg over his own. He opened his eyes confused, thinking it was warm, but also that it smelled weird. Or perhaps not weird, just… not the way it should smell. It smelled of cedar, firewood, mint and summer breeze, not like books, parchment, chocolate and you. He blinked his eyes open and spotted James’ arm draped over his chest and his leg on top of both of his own. He was cuddling Sirius like he cuddled his pillows. 

“Prongs,” he said softly, but the boy just snuggled deeper into him. “Prongs!” he repeated. “Prongs, what the fuck!” 

James frowned and looked at Sirius as if he had been wronged, “What do you want?” 

“Why are you cuddling me?” 

“You’re in my bed,” the boy responded with a shrug. 

“So what? Don’t you know about personal space?” 

Bold fucking words for Sirius Black, James thought.

“Just shut up, I’m tired.” 

“No, get off me!” Sirius said as he tried to pry James’ legs off of him, but James was heavier, and at this point, he was determined to piss Sirius off after being so wrongly accused. 

“Pads!” James complained. “Just let me sleep, mate.” 

“Not until you get off.” 

“You never tell Remus to get off,” James huffed and tightened his grip. 

What?

You never tell Remus to get off.

You never tell Remus to get off.

YOU NEVER TELL REMUS TO GET OFF!

Sirius opened his eyes wide as he looked at the ceiling, completely in shock as he let the words sink in. He looked to the side, trying to hide the panic, “That’s different,” he managed to muster. 

“How is it different? I’m your best mate anyway, if you’re giving hugging concessions around, it should be to me.” 

How is it different? Yes Sirius, HOW IS IT FUCKING DIFFERENT?!? He wondered to himself. “It’s because of the smell of the pack?” 

“Is it? Really?” James asked, he was annoyed, and sleepy, and not quite thinking what he said, let alone how much it was affecting Sirius. 

“Of course,” Sirius said defensively and pushed James off of him, turning his back to the boy as James rolled his eyes and did the same. 

Prongs knew Sirius would be fine in the morning, but it would be a lie if he said he hadn’t been a little offended by the way he got pushed off, he had seen how close he was to Remus lately, and it wasn’t that he was jealous, but since when was Sirius closer to Moony than to him? Vixen he understood, he was head over heels for you, but Remus?!? 

Since when was Pads so close to him? 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the bed, Sirius had started to PANIC. There was something so raw about the words half-asleep James had said. Is it really about the smell of the pack? Was he using you as an excuse to cuddle Remus? Was he using his girlfriend… to cuddle his crush? 

Perhaps he was a Black after all, it ran in his bIood, all wicked and malicious, cunning and devious. How could he shamelessly cuddle into Remus while you were right next to him? As if he didn’t have a crush on his friend? As if he hadn’t already admitted to himself that Remus was bIoody handsome? With his big broad shoulders and his intoxicating smell of books and chocolate, and a hint of you. With his messy brown hair and his kind smile, it was unfair really, for him to be so pretty and for Sirius to only have realised it now, now that he was happy, now that he had found someone. 

When Sirius woke up, there was a pile of gifts on his side of the bed. James had decided to let him sleep in since he had been kind of annoyed at night and he didn’t want to deal with cranky Sirius on Christmas, which is why he was quietly opening his gifts on the other side of the floor. 

Sirius leaned over and threw him a look while peeking his head over the bed. When he noticed he smiled. “Look at this” – he pointed at a box of muggle Christmas-themed chocolates– “Lily sent it, they even came with a small note, look,” he said as he passed the note to Sirius. 

Sirius eyed him incredulously and took the small card in his hands before turning around on the bed to get himself comfortable, he cleared his throat, “Dear James, I was walking along this Christmas market and they had these chocolates, the adorable elf on the side that looks way too excited to be in a box kind of reminded me off you. Hope you have an amazing Christmas. Love, Lily.” 

“You read that? She said ‘Love’.” 

“Mhm,” Sirius said with a smirk and turned around again to pick the box from the floor, “Oh god is this the over-excited elf?” he said as he spotted a green-dressed short man on the side, he was wearing a very muggle Christmas outfit and had funny features, although his smile and eye colour did kind of match James’, it was like a bootleg version of him. Sirius couldn’t help but cackle. 

“Oi! Don’t make fun of it! She sent it with love.” 

“Not laughing at the gift, I’m laughing at the resemblance,” Sirius added while he tried to catch his breath, James had snatched the box from him and carefully placed it next to his leg. 

Sirius was still laughing when he saw some light coming from a small hand-held mirror he had placed on his nightstand. It was reflecting a small beam on the ceiling. It was an enchanted mirror he had stolen from his parents back when he still lived with them. He had used it to communicate with James on the longer summers, even if he couldn’t actually talk through it. 

Sirius frowned, “You have the sister mirror to someone?” 

“Remus,” James said as he stood up and leaned across the bed, “since he was going to be alone this Christmas,” he added. Sirius rolled to the side and then on the bed to reach the same belly-down position James was using and looked inside. 

Remus, looking as handsome as ever, was on the other side, shirtless –to Sirius’ dismay– and with his hair slightly messier than usual. Even his smile was so wide it looked like it would burst out of his face. 

He waved at the boys and then pointed at a card he had in his hand. It said, “Merry Christmas”. 

Sirius looked around and pulled James’ box from the floor, showing him the exact spot where it said “Merry Christmas” as well. 

Remus then picked up a small pen and wrote “Thank you for the gifts” on the side of his Christmas letters. Sirius winked in response, he knew Rem would like the book he got him. But he knew he’d especially love the drawing he made for him as well: it was a Wolf, a dog and a fox playing in the forest. 

“You made him a drawing too?” James asked with a gasp.

“You’re telling me Mum got a drawing, Vix got a drawing, and Moony got a drawing, but I didn’t?” 

“Didn’t have enough time,” Sirius responded with a shrug. Remus, who was trying to read the boys’ lips and kind of got that he was among the few to get a drawing, couldn’t help being filled with joy at the fact that Sirius had done something especially for him. 

He then showed the boys all the music you had sent over and spent a while trying to sign something to James that neither he nor Sirius got properly, but he gathered something about you getting him a bunch of books. 

“What did she get you?” James asked, turning to Sirius who frowned. He had been so busy looking at his friend’s gifts, that he had forgotten he had also received a few himself. 

James placed the mirror at the end of the bed so Remus could see and they all finished unboxing their gifts. Sirius had gotten a CB radio from Remus. There were rather specific instructions on what to do with it, it had even been charmed so that it worked, even in Hogwarts. 

“Hello?” he asked as he pressed the button. 

“Hey!” Remus replied from the other side, he had a wide smile on his face, thrilled that it actually worked. 

“Oh, that’s horrifying,” James said as he looked through Remus in the mirror and Sirius playing with the radio back in his room. “Like dark magic.” 

“Just science,” Remus said.

“Didn’t you have to press a button so he can hear?” James asked as he took the radio from Sirius’ hand. 

“I can read your lips, you dumbass,” Remus responded, and Sirius started to laugh. 

James frowned and covered his mouth with his hands and turned to Sirius “Pretend I said something awful about him.” 

“He said you’re a smartass,” Sirius said as he pressed the button, Remus gave James a look, eyebrows raised. 

“I didn’t–” he started and took back the radio, snatching it from Sirius with a lot more purpose, “I didn’t say that! He made that up.” 

“Why would I make that up?” Sirius said innocently. 

“To fuck with me.” 

Remus started to laugh from the other side, and then pressed the button, “What else did you get?” 

Sirius pulled another box while James started to play with the different buttons of the radio, “Read this first,” the longer-haired boy said as he passed the instructions to James who groaned but did as told. 

Sirius had gotten a good deal of stuff. It wasn’t weird that he got a bunch of gifts since he stayed at the Potters, his mother used to reject most of the gifts, but he had gotten tons of chocolate from girls every time he stayed over with James. Most of them would end up with Remus’ stash later on. This year he didn’t get as many chocolates, but he still got a good deal of stuff, some from people he didn’t even know. 

“I swear every year he gets more stuff,” James said as he shook his head in disbelief. He had been partly to blame since he had gotten him a massive quidditch gear kit for morning practices. Peter had gotten him a magic puzzle that changed every few minutes. Andromeda had sent him some other cool muggle things she’d found, and he was absolutely fascinated by the 8 ball she’d gotten him. It was a ball that you could ask things to and when you turned it around it responded, like a divination device, except with no magic involved. The best part was the ridiculous things it said: “Outlook not so good, try asking your cat”, “Ask again later, I'm napping”, “Signs point to tacos. Always tacos” and his personal favourite, and the main reason Dromeda had gotten it “Are you serious? (No, seriously, are you?)”.

She had also gotten both James, him, Remus and Peter, pet rocks. Now neither of them had a clue what that was, but Dromeda said all the cool kids had one of those with the muggles. The rock came in a box and had a rather detailed manual on how to take care of it, and even a back story claiming that it had been “trained” in Mexico by a pet handler named Pedro.

“You also got a rock?” Remus asked as he pulled one from the side and showed it to the boys through the mirror. Remus’ rock had his eyes slightly further apart than Sirius’. “I named mine Cornelius.” 

“Cornelius?” Sirius asked with a frown as he stared at his friend’s rock through the mirror, “Now that you mention it, it does kind of look like a Cornelius.” 

“Mine will be Lily,” James said as he took him out of the box. It was a red-ish rock. 

“You can’t name your pet Lily!” 

“It’s a rock,” James said with a shrug, “I can name it however I want.” 

“What’s yours?” he asked as he pointed at Sirius’ rock.

“It’s… Bowie.” 

“Hm… love it,” James nodded as he stared at his friend’s rock. The two of them carefully placed them on the side table, as if they were actual, delicate pets and not just, rocks. 

They continued opening their gifts, Sirius was absolutely fascinated with yours. He loved the drawing books and pens and markers, the mixtape that you’d gotten him and the watercolours, but he was pretty much obsessed with the penknife. He loved that it had his name on it and he used it to open the rest of his gifts, then he pocketed it and kept it with him the rest of the day. 

He was helping Monty peel some potatoes –with his penknife instead of a spell– when James decided to tease him about it. 

“You’ve been carrying that around all day,” he said as if it were a throwaway comment while he tried to make a pile of oranges. 

“It’s super useful.” 

“Oh, so it has nothing to do with the fact that it was a gift from Vixen?” 

Monty eyed Sirius with a knowing smile and went back to his cooking. 

“That’s just a bonus,” Sirius responded and placed the finished potato in the bowl. “It’s got my name on it, mate,” he said as he moved the knife to the side. “Also, she mentioned she charmed it, but she said I had to figure out what the charm is.” 

“Maybe she just said that to have you think about it for ages, and it’s not actually charmed.” 

Sirius stopped moving for a second, looking at nowhere in particular as he considered the possibility before letting a short breath out and shaking his head, “Nah, it’s got some kind of magic, I can feel it.” 

James, just to tease his friend, further shrugged with an unconvinced air, “If you say so.” 

Sirius just took another potato and started peeling it with a small frown. He was about 80% sure he could feel magic on the knife. But he was surrounded by magic, in an extremely magical household, literally every single person around him could wield magic, so it was possible the knife was just reflecting the energies from his environment. 

By dinner time, there were some more people in the house. Andromeda, Ted and their daughter Dora had been invited by the Potters since they knew how much Sirius loved seeing his cousin, but she had to skip the dinner since Dora had gotten a fever from playing all day in the snow. The Weasleys had also been invited, Dumbledore had introduced them to Monty a few years back and they were rather fond of each other, even if Arthur was much younger. He had arrived with Molly and their 3 sons: Bill, Charlie and the newborn Percy. 

Bill had followed James around the moment he spotted him, and James had shown him some of his old toys, and they all played a game of Exploding Snap with Sirius. There were other Wizards there too, Alastor Moody, who had a very animated conversation with Arabella Fig, Elphias Dodge and both Seraphina Nightshade and her boyfriend Roan Elmore, whom James had met at the party shortly after you and Remus did. 

“That’s Roan, Seraphina’s boyfriend.” 

“She’s dating someone?” Sirius asked, amused. Seraphina was beautiful, the entire school knew that, but he had no idea she had been dating someone. 

“Yeah, he was at Slughorn’s party,” James said and snapped his fingers and took a pair of identical cards, the cards shuffled themselves back onto the table. 

“Who’s Slughorn?” asked Billy as he snapped his fingers, Charlie just behind him, was attempting to do the same as his brother, but not quite managing to make a sound. 

“The Potions teacher,” Sirius responded as he placed his wand on top of one of the cards and snapped his fingers as well. The rest of the cards on the table started to explode and then they shuffled themselves back together. “You probably won’t like him.” 

“I won’t?” Bill asked, his red eyebrows furrowing just a little bit, Sirius thought he looked cute, and he didn’t like little kids all that much. 

“He might,” James said with a shrug. 

“He won’t if he’s one of the good ones,” Sirius retorted and then snapped his fingers and took a pair of cards. 

“I don’t like him at all then,” Bill said with determination, he definitely wanted to fit in with the cool crowd, that obviously being the older boys: Sirius and James. He didn’t need to do much, both boys already liked Bill, if he were their age, he’d probably be part of their gang. 

“Me neither,” Charlie added, “Unless he has a dragon.” 

“Charlie, people don’t have dragons,” Bill said in a rather exasperated tone, as if it wasn’t the first time he’d said something like that and then snapped his fingers, taking a pair of cards. 

Charlie tried to do the same and snapped his fingers, only for them to make no sound again. “But they could,” he insisted, sighed as if he too was tired of having that same argument with Bill and then walked towards Mrs. Weasley, she was talking to Effie about something in a rather hushed tone while Mr. Weasley struggled to get Percy to stop crying a few feet from them. 

Sirius was about to snap his fingers again when he felt a sharp pain in his hand, “ah fuck,” he said as he pulled his hand from the table. 

“You all right?” James asked, as he snapped his fingers and took the cards Sirius was going to take. 

Sirius was staring at his palm confused, the scar from the scary witchcraft store had hurt almost in the same way it had when the necklace burned it on his hand. It was a lot less visible now, but the pain had been the same.

It wasn’t the first time it happened. It had sometimes bothered him back in the day, but it had never been as sharp as today. And it had kind of stopped since you came to Hogwarts.  He assumed it must have been some kind of protean charm, but he had no idea how, and if he could use it at all. All he knew was that it hurt sometimes, and it reminded him of you, which he really didn’t like thinking back when you weren’t around. 

“Yeah, I think I bit myself or something,” he lied and turned back to the game, snapping his fingers and taking another pair of cards.

James eyed him suspiciously and then the cards shuffled on the table again, completely stealing his train of thought, especially when Bill snapped his fingers and took the pair of cards he was about to take. 

In the end, Bill won the game. He was awfully good for a six-year-old, and both Sirius and James were a bit out of practice. 

“There you go,” Sirius said as he passed him 3 sickles. 

“Thank you,” Bill said, by then Charlie had already come back and was tugging on his brother’s pants. “Charlie, I won them,” he complained as James paid up. 

“If I could play, I’d win too!” Charlie complained, “I want to save for the toy dragon at Whimsy Wonders.” 

“Well, technically, he helped Bill, didn’t he?” James asked, eyeing Sirius. 

“Oh yeah, moral support,” Sirius agreed. “I feel like we owe him for that as well.” 

Charlie’s face glowed looking at them. “No, he wasn’t playing,” Bill said. 

“Oh, but he was,” James said and handed Charlie a sickle, Sirius did the same. “You wouldn’t have won without him, right?” 

Bill frowned, as if about to say he was perfectly capable of winning without Charlie pestering him about dragons, but there was something on James’ gaze that had him hold it. He sighed, “Of course, Charlie helped…” 

Charlie smiled widely and ran towards Mrs. Weasley. “Mom, Mom, Look!” he said. “We beat the older kids!” he repeated. James chuckled as he saw the small boy jump about, and then Monty called everyone towards the table. 

The Potter’s party table was long and round, with different panels that rolled inside to have the food and snacks pass around and stay within everyone’s reach. Of course, wizards could just float whatever they needed their way, but both Monty and Effie thought it was annoying to have the salad dressing and bread basket cover the face of the person they were trying to talk to so they designed the table to be able to have a pleasant conversation. 

Sirius was sitting in between James and Charlie, who was determined to sit with them even if he was meant to sit with his brother. Sirius didn’t mind it much, Charlie mostly talked about dragons, and for a 4-year-old, he seemed to have encyclopedic knowledge of them. While Bill, who was always listening to him go on and on about dragons, found it annoying, Sirius and James thought it was actually interesting. 

He was telling Sirius about the Ukrainian Ironbelly and how he wanted to get a wand with a dragon heartstring core when he turned 11 when Monty stood up and thanked everyone for coming to the party, which prompted Charlie into silence. 

Monty’s speech was heartfelt and honest, just like he was all the time, and while he didn’t explicitly say anything related to the war, he did mention that they were living in dark times, and for such reason, it was time to keep those whom you love at an arm’s length, to take care of each other and to check up on them as often as possible. He said that sometimes even the simplest of messages made the difference. 

When his speech was done, there was a small toast, and then they got to eat. Sirius dived straight for the potato souffle since he had helped with the preparation and thought the amount of cheese they had added was mouth-watering, he also waited a couple of seconds for the inside panels of the table to spin around so he could reach for some of Monty’s special turkey. He had tried it the first Christmas he spent with the Potters and since then he always waited eagerly for dinner time to be able to eat it again. 

He had even asked Monty for the recipe, but he had never gotten around to preparing it himself, although this Christmas Monty had him do some of the garlic mincing and spices blending for him, so he learned all the techniques. Sirius was more than happy to help, he found the kitchen to be a relaxing place (as long as it was the Potter’s kitchen and Monty was the head chef).

Effie was a lot more demanding in the kitchen, and if he had never dared to enter the one in Grimmauld Place, he was sure to come out as a roasted chicken instead of with one. Kreacher had always been awful to him, and the kitchens were his and Walburga’s territory exclusively. 

Sirius was about to take another bite of his turkey, Charlie was talking about a Common Welsh Green and how elegant he thought they were when he felt another pang on his hand. Sharper and a lot more concentrated this time around. He dropped his fork and it clanged against the plate. He looked up, worried, out of habit more than anything, only to realise he was at home, and not with Walburga where he might have been awfully reprimanded. 

With the Potters it was different, in fact, Monty gave him a short questioning look, clearly asking if he was all right, to which Sirius nodded. Monty went back to his talk and allowed James to check on Sirius instead. Meanwhile, Effie raised her voice just a little, covering up for the loud sound Sirius had caused and Molly laughed loudly at something Alastor said. Sirius looked around with a small smile. 

Yeah, this is home, he thought as he pulled his hand towards him and placed his thumb over the already faded scar.

“Mate, that’s the second time today,” James said, looking at Sirius with a frown. 

“I don’t know what’s with it either,” he admitted with a shrug. 

“You wanna skip dessert? Go sleep?” 

“Nah, I’m sure it’s nothing,” Sirius lied, trying to push aside the unsettling feeling gnawing at his mind. It had been months since it last troubled him, and this time it felt worse, not even in the aftermath of Mexico when he discovered how annoying it could be, but back then he assumed it was just the healing process, he didn’t know about Protean charms and, even now, he didn’t know why it was happening, perhaps then he would have reacted faster. 

Regardless of the uneasiness, Sirius intended to enjoy the dinner, and he did, in between eating, joking with James and hearing Charlie talk about dragons, he was distracted from the pain so often that by the time he went to sleep, he had almost completely forgotten about the discomfort. That was until he actually fell asleep. 

In his dream, Sirius found himself in an eerie scene, surrounded by his family, yours, Evan, Arkalis, and even the Dark Lord. Regulus was speaking to him, then he cast a hex on his brother, and suddenly they were torturing Muggles. That’s when he realised he wasn’t himself; he was seeing things through your eyes as if you had lent them to him.

He saw his cousin Bella and then your friend, Nina who was being tortured with an unforgivable. That’s when you reacted, there was a fire. Not any fire, Fiendfyre. The massive Chimera you created was burning everything in its wake. Chaos ensued, lives were lost, and you fled.

He saw how you ran alongside Nina until you were further enough away, but Lucius showed up out of nowhere. You duelled him, almost won, but Nina was hit by a stunning spell and you lost it, throwing yourself over her and crying, desperate to bring her back, but she wasn’t responding. There was a blinding light and he heard Barty’s voice.

“Sirius!” a voice called from a distance. “SIRIUS!”

He jolted awake, with a confused gaze as if trying to get back to reality, “James?” 

“You’ve been muttering Vixen’s name over and over, and you’re sweating,” James said, his hand on Sirius’s forehead. “I think you were having a nightmare.”

Sirius frowned, his pulse fast and his breathing short, still struggling to ground himself. The dream had felt so real as if he really had been you, as if he really had gone through all that stuff, perhaps he had drunk too much of that Dragon Wine after listening to Charlie go on and on about how the process of slowly heating the conserve with dragon breath was “so fascinating”. 

It’s not that he didn’t think it was interesting, but no matter what you said, Charlie found a way to connect it with dragons and after a while, it did get dizzying.  

“Yeah, it was awful,” Sirius admitted. “Thank Merlin it was just a dream.”

James nodded and threw himself next to Sirius, taking the rock Andromeda had given him and tossing it from hand to hand. Back when they were smaller, James would sleep with Sirius whenever he had a nightmare. It reminded Sirius of Reggie and he always felt a lot more at ease when he wasn’t alone on the bed. He didn’t do it much anymore, Sirius’ nightmares had decreased, and he had also gotten a lot better at hiding when he had some. 

“I’ll go take piss,” Sirius said as he stood up. James threw him a side glance and watched his friend walk all the way to the bathroom attentively. He wasn’t sure when had been the last time Sirius had had such a distressing nightmare, and the fact that it had to do with you, must have been even more upsetting. 

He understood it much better now that he had Lily, he wanted to protect her more than anything in this world and the thought of something, anything, happening to her was enough to make his bIood run cold. He was scared of things happening to her, and he assumed Sirius must have been just as scared of things happening to you. Especially with how things were now. At least you were a pure-bIood, not as much of a target for deatheaters as Lily was. 

In truth, James had sent notes to Lily every day since he got home, not because he missed her so dreadfully that he couldn’t go a day without talking to her –which was also kind of true- but because he was terrified he wouldn’t see her again. There were rumours of death eaters going for muggle-borns now. And James had read about a student from 2nd year disappearing along with her family last month. Nobody knew where Jane Bishop and her parents were. 

Sirius walked towards the bathroom as quietly as possible, he didn’t know the time, but he didn’t want to wake up anybody by accident either. He went straight to the sink and tried to wash the sweat off his face, letting some of the water pool in the sink to be able to clean his neck better. When he dug his hand into the water, is when he realised things hadn’t been just a nightmare.

He felt like he had been hit in the stomach and stumbled back a couple of steps until his back crashed against the back wall, then he saw Barty right in front of him, throwing a stunning spell at his face. He didn’t move, but the bathroom dissolved behind him and he appeared to be sitting in the snow, looking up at the Shrieking Shack, completely surrounded by snow. His eyes, although actually opened, slowly closing and opening again. 

One moment he was there, and the next, he saw James crouching right in front of him, with a concerned expression. 

“It wasn’t a dream,” Sirius managed to mumble. 

“What?” 

“It wasn’t a dream!” he repeated a little louder, grabbing onto the towel rack to stand back up again, James helped pull him up and he bolted out of the bathroom. 

James looked at his friend and waved his wand over the mess, all things slowly going back into place, the faucet closing and the sink emptying as he walked behind Sirius. 

“What do you mean by that?” 

“I think shit went down at Rosier’s Christmas party,” Sirius muttered as he paced around the room, “And it was because of Vixen.” 

“When you say shit went down…” 

“I mean Fiendfyre and dеad people,” Sirus said looking up at James with a stony expression. “But that’s… she somehow ended up in the Shack, Barty stunned her just outside-” 

“Sirius–” James said in a comforting tone. 

“We need to do something, she might get hypothermia if she stays out for too long, she–” 

“Sirius!” James called again, a lot more stern now, grabbing onto his friend’s shoulders and shaking him to get his attention. “Are you sure it wasn’t a nightmare?” Sirius swallowed thickly, his eyes watering as he nodded. James took a deep breath, “Okay, I’ll talk to my parents, we can confirm with–” 

“No!! Sirius said, snapping out of James. “It was real, and she’s alone, in the snow, pretty much passed out, we have to do something. Maybe I can apparate there or–” 

“You’ll splinch.” 

“Damn it, James!” Sirius snapped. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing!” 

“Remus!” James said, looking up at Sirius. 

“Remus?” Sirius asked, confused. 

“He’s at school, he can take the passage and–” Sirius didn’t even let James finish, he had already run towards the mirror and the radio, flashing the mirror with lumos and shouting at the small microphone.

“Sirius?” Remus asked confused from the other side of the line.  

Sirius was quick to fill him in, and Remus had put a coat on in seconds. 

“Wait!” James said as Remus pocketed the mirror and walked towards the door. Remus took the mirror out and looked at the two boys. “What if it’s a trap?” 

“If Vixen’s in danger, I don’t care if it’s a trap,” Remus said, with the same determination as Sirius when he was about to risk splinching. 

“Remus?” Sirius said, doubtful. 

“Yeah?” the boy responded through the radio. 

“Just be careful, okay?” 

“I will,” the boy reassured and pocketed the mirror again. 

After that, there was radio silence. 

Sirius paced around the room, Monty and Effie had woken up and walked towards them. Effie had a note in her hand and seemed to be hesitating to speak.

“What is it?” Sirius asked. 

Effie looked to the side and wet her lips before looking back at her boy. “It’s her mother, Avis” –she hesitated– “She’s dеad.” Effie said as she let out a short breath, “there was dark magic that went out of control, Rosier Manor was badly damaged. No one knows where she is.” 

“She’s not there,” Sirius reassured. 

Effie frowned and James explained to both of his parents what had happened. Monty went to place a hand on Sirius’ back as they sat on the bed. The boy’s leg kept bouncing, but there was no news, neither from you nor from Remus. All he could see was the dark fabric from Remus’ pocket through the mirror.

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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Read more Marauders Fiction

[leviathanspain]

i love you more than i can ever scream

finnick odair x reader

synopsis: you wonder if finnick’s sacrifice was truly worth it

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you sighed deeply, hoping to contain your feelings for when you were alone. but as katniss neared to sit down next to you, you flinched, “stop. please.” your voice quivered and you looked down, knowing that if you looked up, your face would be covered with tears.

finnick was gone. he had died, a horrible, painful death.

katniss stopped in her tracks and she sniffled, “i’m sorry. im so sorry.” her voice was hoarse. you looked up and met her eyes. “finnick and i both knew what the consequences could be, if this were to happen. i- i just didn’t think it actually would.” you whispered, quietly and moved to slump back down on the ground.

your face felt hot as you saw the group just overhead. you had lumped in with johanna, you had parted from her the moment you saw his familiar head of hair. but there was fog all around them, and you screamed as you recognized what it was.

“finnick! run!” you screamed, but it was useless, for they were too far, and the fog was too close to them.

johanna dragged you away, “we have to go!” and you screamed as the fog took him with katniss and peeta.

“finnick would’ve voted-“ annie’s voice echoed out into the room and you slammed your hands down on the table, all the attention turning to you. you realized with a deep pang that this was the only time they all had voluntarily looked at you, without any pity lining their eyes.

usually everyone gave you bowed heads, whispers and awkward smiles. but now, there was the flash of acknowledgment that you were still a person.

the sinking feeling that he was in danger didn’t leave you alone, and you walked through the jungle, hoping that you would find them. and you did, you found katniss and peeta holding finnick in the water. you screamed, running towards them, your hands shaky and your palms sweaty, you kneeled down next to finnick and watched as his eyes opened to see you. as if a weight had been taken off his shoulders, he heaved deeply, “y/n..” he whispered.

“you don’t get to say what finnick would or wouldn’t say. you don’t get to say that.” your voice came out as evenly as you had hoped and she faltered, “i-“ you shook your head and annie quieted, “this is all bullshit.” you stood up, the chair kicking back with force that it hit the wall with a cracking sound.

you shouted his name as he ran after katniss, hoping to stop her as she frantically ran back into the jungle. but you saw her screaming, and finnick began to whip his head around as he too, began to scream.

silence met your ears and you felt disoriented. finnick’s face was nothing but anguish as he cupped his ears, and birds, jabberjays, flew all around him and katniss.

peeta too had ran after them, and he launched himself against the force field that kept them apart. you neared the force field and stood speechless, watching finnick scream in pain.

the pain of his death still felt fresh. it all did. you felt like a ghost most of the time, you hardly felt apart of the revolution at this point, feeling like they only kept you around because your husband had paid a price they couldn’t pay back.

“you need to get a grip.” johanna had tried her best to be there for you, even if she was still recovering from the things the capitol had done to her, she had made a promise.

you shook your head, “stop. just stop, okay? im not strong enough for this, it’s eating me alive.” you sighed, “everyday i wake up and he isn’t next to me, i feel like a shell of who i am.”

johanna grabbed your hands and held them tightly, “he wouldn’t have wanted this for you. he probably would’ve given you some harsh pep talk, made you spar with him and call it a day.” you laughed weakly, knowing she was right.

you nodded, “thank you.” johanna nodded, “anything for you, just like finnick did, i do too.”

you looked down at your hands with hers and realized that maybe telling johanna would be a good thing.

“i’m pregnant.” your voice didn’t feel like your own as you finally said the thing that had been in the back of your mind for weeks now.

“is it-“ she spoke slowly and you whispered, knowing what she meant “yes.”

the silence was deafening as your bodies collided. you grabbed the fabric of his shirt tight in your hands and cried hard, “oh finnick.” you hadn’t known when you would see him again, but here he was, his calloused hands running up and down your back, he kissed your forehead, “y/n..” his voice sounded shaky and you looked up at him and he smiled, his eyes twinkling brightly.

[vbecker10]

Loki's Silent Sentry

(Part 7 - Final Part!)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

Alt Ending (in progress - very sad, please read trigger warnings below and in the link)

Pairing: Loki x female reader (y/n)

Summary: You are not just a soldier in Asgard's Royal Army, you are Lieutenant Y/L/N, Prince Loki's personal guard, his sentry and you are not supposed to fall in love with him. If you followed your training properly, you should never have even spoken to him. As a sentry, you are expected to remain silent and invisible as you shadow your appointed member of the royal family or member of the court protectively throughout their daily tasks.

Rumors (that happen to be true) begin to circulate through the palace that you serve the younger prince of Asgard both outside and inside his chambers. There is little you can do once word of your off duty activities spread through every maid, cook, gardener and seamstress in the palace. You soon find even the soldiers in your own company are now questioning how exactly you had come to earn your seemingly quick rise to lieutenant.

As the annual Winter Solstice Ball approaches, you come to the heartbreaking realization that your relationship with Loki must come to an end if you are both to fulfill your duties.

Warnings: Angst, arguing, Thor trying to be a better brother, Odin being a terrible father... I promised fluff so fluff you shall have 💚

"If you do this..." Odin walks slowly to the edge of the steps, "You will no longer be my son."

"If you force me to do this," Loki answers defiantly, "It is because you failed me as a father."

You hold Loki close to you to keep him from moving towards his father. You can feel him shaking with anger but his eyes are full of pain. Loki and his father had their issues, no one could deny that, but you never thought Odin would be so quick to throw away what is left of their relationship.

A silence settles over the room as they hold each other's gaze, each daring the other to say something else. Before it can escalate further, Thor draws everyone's attention to himself.

For the second time today, Thor calls to begin the voting. "The vote will determined by the majority. Those among you who are for upholding the existing law shall vote aye. Those among you who wish to revise the law, thus revoking Prince Loki's title and status, will vote nay. Is that understood?"

The members of the council, along with the king and queen agree to the terms Thor explained. Thor nods to one of the senior members of the council and in response, he steps forward to the center of the throne room. A young man follows him with an open book and quill, you presume to keep track of the votes.

The older man turns to the throne and asks the king how he will vote. Loki's eyes are focused on the king as you wait for his decision.

Odin waves his hand dismissively towards you and Loki as he sits back in his throne. "Nay," he says in an emotionless voice.

Loki lowers his head and leans into you as he sighs deeply. You rub his back hoping one day he will heal from the wound his father just inflicted on him.

The council member turns to acknowledge the queen and asks her for her vote. She smiles at you and Loki, "Aye."

Loki's body relaxes the slightest bit but he tenses again when it is his older brother's turn. It's hard for you to read Thor's emotions but he slowly smiles and says, "Aye," loudly.

Having two of the three royals say aye must help sway the council, you think hopefully but you honestly aren't sure. Will most of them still side with Odin purly because he is the king? Or will he allow the vote to continue only to overrule their judgment in the end? Your thoughts race but they calm for a moment when Loki kisses the top of your head.

The senior council member moves to the center of the room and turns to face the rest of the council. He asks for all those voting aye to raise their right hand.

You turn your head, burying your face against Loki's chest, suddenly too nervous to watch the voting. He holds you tightly and you can hear him mumbling quietly as he counts along. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath as a new thought forms in your mind.

The vote doesn't matter, you think. Whether they vote to uphold the law or not, you and Loki will be together. Either as prince and sentry or as two simple Asgardians.

The doors to the throne room close behind you and Loki with a dull thud. You take a few steps down the empty hall then stop suddenly, barely able to breathe.

"Loki," you turn to face him. "Did that... did that really just happen?"

He smiles and puts one arm around your waist, his other hand resting gently on your cheek. He nods, "It did, love."

A wave of excitement floods through you as Loki bends to kiss you. You place your hands on his back, bringing him as close to you as possible. "I just... I can't believe it," you smile up at him.

He brushes your hair behind your ear and smirks, "The only concern we have now, is how quickly can you become a captain?"

"You are dismissed for the night, thank you Lieutenant Y/L/N," the queen says as the two of you reach her chambers.

You bow, "Thank you, your highness."

She smiles as she opens the door, "Have a goodnight Y/N. Tell my son I will see him at tea tomorrow afternoon."

"I will, your highness" you reply.

"Frigga, when you are not on duty, dear," she reminds you warmly.

"Frigga," you repeat with a smile. "Have a goodnight," you tell her.

You walk confidently down the hall, excitement spreads through you as you see Loki waiting for you outside of your shared chambers. You had moved in the night of the vote, almost two months ago. Loki and you still rarely crossed paths while conducting your duties during the day, but you were able to spend every night together and you both cherished that.

You throw your arms around him and he kisses your forehead then your cheek and finally your lips. "I missed you today," he tells you as he holds you close.

You take his hand as he leads you into your chambers, "I missed you too." He uses his magic to help you out of your armor as always and he chuckles when you say, "That is one of my favorite tricks of yours."

A few minutes later, the two of you sit cuddled together on the couch. He plays with your hair gently while you rest your head on his chest and your hand on his thigh. "So... I have something to tell you," you lift your head a little.

"What's that, love?" he asks.

"You know that I went to the city on my day off last week?" you ask him.

"Of course," he answers.

"Well... I didn't tell you but I ran into one of my favorite professors from when I went to university," you tell him.

"Is there a reason you didn't tell me before?" he sits up a bit.

"I wanted to wait until I got this," you take a small scroll out of your pocket and hand it to him.

He looks at you curiously as he opens it. His eyes fall to the paper and he begins to read it, his lips moving slightly.

You anxiously wait for him to finish and when he does he looks up at you, a shocked expression on his face. He looks quickly back down to read it again. "Y/N, is this-" he starts to ask but doesn't finish.

You smile, "It's an offer letter from the university. She told me they were in need of a literature professor for the summer term."

"Y/N..." he says softly. "This is... this is truly amazing."

"I checked the class times with your mother and she says it won't be an issue to schedule your meetings around them," you add. "That was why it took me so long, I wanted to tie up all the loose ends."

"Y/N, you have no idea how happy you've made me," he says as he grips your waist, pulling you onto his lap.

You run your hand lightly over his cheek and kiss him. In between kisses you tell him, "All I want to do is make you happy."

Two years later, you stand at the doors of the throne room in your dress armor at your promotion ceremony. One of the guards standing to the side of the door announces, "Lieutenant Y/L/N."

You walk down the aisle and stop in front of the royal family, kneeling in respect. The crowd gathered to either side of the room is quiet as Odin tells you to rise. He motions for you to come closer and he takes a few steps towards you.

"Lieutenant Y/L/N, you are being promoted to Captain as a testament to your commitment to protect and serve the realm. You have shown a mastery of your duties and the skills necessary to lead future soldiers," the king says loudly so the whole hall can hear him. He pins a metal to your chest and a bit quieter so only you can hear him, he says, "You will make a fine general some day."

You can't believe your ears but before you can focus too much on his comment he goes back to speaking to everyone in attendance. He explains to the crowd that you will no longer be a sentry, you will work at the academy training new recruits. He goes on to tell them you will be the youngest instructor at the academy and he will continue to expect excellence during the remainder of your career.

While he talks, your eyes wander to Loki as always. He smiles broadly at you as does his mother who is standing next to him. She whispers something to her son and he laughs a bit as he nods. You try not to make a face but you are now curious about what she said.

When Odin finishes, you kneel again and when you stand he gives you the smallest smile and says, "Captain Y/L/N."

You bow slightly as the room erupts in a series of applauds. You laugh to yourself when you look towards Thor who is clapping the loudest. He had truly become the older brother you never wanted but wouldn't give up for the world.

Loki looks as if he is going to burst with pride and his mother nods her head towards a particular section in the middle of the crowd. You glance to see where she is looking and you find your parents standing among the onlookers. You fight the urge to run over to them, it's been ages since you've seen them. They had been been assigned to guard a diplomat and his family who lived in another realm. After the shock and excitement of seeing your parents sinks in you look back towards the queen who discretely points at Loki to signal it was his doing.

You stop and turn to look at Loki with a smile but your heart skips a beat when you see him kneeling next to you with a small black box in his hand.

After the ceremony you spend time with your parents, catching up on their lives and yours. They tell you how immensely proud they are of you how much they miss you. You promise to visit them now that you will have a better schedule with the academy.

Loki walks over to where you and your parents are talking and says, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but may I borrow the captain for a few moments?"

"Of course, your highness," your father bows.

"Loki is fine," he says in a friendly manner.

"I don't think that's going to happen," you tell him honestly with a light laugh.

You hold his arm as he walks you through the garden slowly. After a few minutes, you stop to smell a beautiful burgundy rose and you are suddenly surrounded by a soft green glow. You giggle and spin as Loki's magic replaces your heavy armor with the same emerald and gold gown he had conjured for you at the ball so long ago.

"Loki?" you ask, your hand covering your mouth in surprise.

He smiles and takes your other hand in his. "Y/N, love, we've both waited so long for this moment, I didn't want to wait an extra second. I love you more then anything in the nine realms and I would do anything for you. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met and I-" he says but you interrupt him.

"Yes!" you tell him, nodding furiously.

He laughs, "You aren't going to let me finish? I had a whole little speech." You laugh and shake your head. "Ok, I'll skip to the end. Y/N, will you marry me?"

You jump into his waiting arms, "Yes, yes! A thousand times yes, Loki."

He slips the ring on your finger and kisses you. Then he gets up, picks you up easily by your waist and spins you. You giggle and when he places you back down, you kiss him and tell him you love him.

Ok... so that was the end of this fic and I really hope you like it! It's been so long since I've written anything. I started working on an alternate ending for this based on a song I have stuck in my head.

I want to warn everyone that it will not have a happy ending. It will not be fluffy. One of the main characters will die. (I'm not saying which character cause I don't want to spoil it if someone actually wants to read it but if you message me I'll tell you who so you can decide if you want to read it)

I will have warnings on it when I've posted it but I'm just giving you all a heads up. I mostly just need to write it cause it's stuck in my brain and I have to get it out. I understand it's not something everyone will want to read and I'm totally OK with that.

I won't tag anyone unless you specifically tell me you would like to be tagged.

@soubi001 @michelleleewise @harlequin-hangout @ace-of-gay @xorpsbane @mochie85 @sheris532 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @kkdvkyya @animnerd @peaches1958 @peachyjinx @lokiandbuckysdoll @winterfrostlovetriangle @high-functioning-lokipath @winniewings @pics-and-fanfics @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @crimson25 @goblingirlsarah @janineb86 @chantsdemarins @simone818283 @tonystank8 @im-briana-stan @foxherder @chantsdemarins @catsladen @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @dragonmurray @honeydew3064 @malfoycassimalfoy @kneelingformyloki @newtomofgods @rayne-the-god

[pluckyredhead]

Can you please say more about the Lanterns' politics?

I am so glad you asked me about this because I've been thinking about it since I reblogged that post but also I'm definitely about to get yelled at lol. ANYWAY THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG.

Tl;dr: John is the only one with a coherent political position or an up-to-date voter registration.

Hal:

So something interesting about Hal is that his stories are often very political but his character is not. With one extremely obvious exception, he rarely talks about politics; rather, he serves as a means through which to tell political stories, usually unintentionally.

What do I mean by that? Well, for example, in the Silver Age, his love interest would occasionally be possessed by a misandrist space jewel that would force her to attack him, but always lose because women are inherently inferior to men and prefer to be subjugated by them anyway. That's the original Star Sapphire concept. It's wildly misogynistic, but it doesn't mean Hal the character is misogynistic. But it's also a very political story, even if I don't think the writer was deliberately trying to make a point so much as...being an average, thoughtlessly sexist guy living in the 60s. (Carol continues to be the subject of mindbogglingly sexist writing and art well into the 2000s. Fucking comics.)

And so you have Hal Jordan, whose love life was ruined by his girlfriend getting promoted above him and who called his best friend by a racist nickname for decades; Hal Jordan, poster boy for chest-thumping post-9/11 kneejerk patriotism; Hal Jordan, lightning rod for a certain kind of regressive bigoted fanboyism. Choosing Hal as the Lantern for a particular story over John or Kyle has come to signify something very specific, but none of that is necessarily reflective of what Hal himself believes.

So what about Hal himself? Well, when we first meet him, he's the epitome of privilege: a white, straight, cis, Christian (I know he's canonically half-Jewish now but that's only as of the past decade or so), ablebodied, upper middle class (Geoff Johns retconned him to have a working class background, but in the Silver Age, he had one uncle who was a millionaire, another who was a judge, and a successful politician brother) man with a flashy job. Privilege tends to lean Republican; even if he is from California, I suspect Hal voted for Eisenhower in 1956.

In GL/GA, the word "Republican" isn't used to my recollection, but Hal is definitely presented as...I'm going to say conservative by I mean lower-case C. He doesn't have deeply held political beliefs, but he's traditional. He doesn't question the system, because he's never had to. He resists things that challenge the way he's always understood the world works, and that's very relatable - most people do! And he will absolutely argue with Ollie, who certainly isn't always right about everything. But he's also willing to listen, and have his mind changed, and certainly reachable via appeals to compassion and fairness.

Once the "relevance" trend of the late 60s-early 70s was over, Hal's stories default back to ostensibly politically neutral, although obviously nothing is actually politically neutral. In the late 80s and early 90s he's the most unpleasant version of himself, and that has political manifestations, like when he allows John to be imprisoned in apartheid South Africa for a ridiculous and unnecessary crime Hal himself committed. It's extremely fucked up, but again, it's less because of Hal's actual opinions and more because Christopher Priest wanted to write about apartheid, even if it does make Hal look incredibly, horrifically racist.

Then jump to the mid-2000s and Green Lantern: Rebirth, and you might imagine that losing his hometown, getting possessed by a giant space bug, becoming a supervillain, dying, and becoming the embodiment of God's vengeance might have some effect on Hal's politics, but that is not what Geoff Johns is here to write. Johns is writing a Hal who teleported in from, like, 1967 - no nuance allowed. He's a summer blockbuster that walks like a man. He's a Baja Blast. He's never had a coherent political thought in his life. In his defense, he has had more and goofier concussions than any superhero I can think of and his brain is smooth like an egg. Still.

Anyway, all of this is to say that I think Hal tends to default to center right positions but can be easily coaxed over to center left. That said, he has never not once in his life had his shit together enough to vote in a single election, not even for his own brother.

Guy:

So Guy's deal is a little bit complicated because his most vocally political era was also in part due to severe and personality-altering brain damage.

When Guy was originally introduced in the 1960s, he had the pleasantly bland personality of all superheroes. Many years later, he suffered a series of major injuries, torture, and a lengthy coma, and he emerged from the coma in 1985 with the aggressive, abrasive personality he's best known for today. Justice League International took that even further, using him to parody the jingoistic, red-blooded American action hero of the 80s.

This version of Guy is a vocal fan of Ronald Reagan and despises the USSR. He's pro-war, proudly xenophobic, and treats women badly enough that it crosses the line into repeated sexual harassment, both physical and verbal. (To be fair...ish, this last also applies to Wally West and arguably a number of other men, and was always played for laughs. It was gross all around.)

Again, this is partially a manifestation of his brain damage. There's also a running gag in JLI where if he gets hit on the head, his personality changes to this cloying, timid, gentle one, sort of halfway between a child and a flamboyant gay stereotype. Hit him again and he goes back to Asshole Guy. I'm not going to pretend I don't find some of the gags funny, but it's obviously all highly problematic, and not just from a medical standpoint.

That said, I don't think we can dismiss Guy's politics or his usual personality as simply a manifestation of brain damage. We see in later flashbacks that he developed the abrasiveness as a defense mechanism from growing up in an abusive home, and as he matures through the 90s, he doesn't actually become a significantly different person, even after his Vuldarian healing factor kicks in and heals his brain. (It's a thing.) I think it's more accurate to say that the brain damage probably affected his impulse control, his filter, and arguably even his paranoia levels.

All of which is to say that as much as I would love to go "Guy's better now, so he's not a Republican!"...that dog won't hunt. I think a really good canon writer could make the case that Guy is pro-union-style working class and also a former teacher so he's at least center left, but as of now canon evidence is pretty firmly on the red side. It doesn't help that the GLC has been written as fetishistically pro-cop and pro-military since Johns got his grubby hands all over it. I will happily ignore the New 52 retcon that Guy was a cop, and you could even try to argue that he dislikes cops because his brother was a corrupt cop who became a supervillain, but I think it's much more likely that he identifies with cops as a Corps member. Although I don't think he would have any patience for killer cops. ("You were afraid for your life even though you were the only one with a weapon? Then fucking quit, coward.")

All of that said, I think Guy is similar to Hal: defaults to center right, can be talked into center left on certain issues but he's more stubborn about it. (They would also both be enraged by Jan 6 and disgusted by the current Republican party - I can't quite argue that Guy Gardner is a Democrat but Green Lanterns don't have any patience for traitors or cowards.) It's also kind of a moot point because he never knows what is happening on Earth and hasn't voted since his pre-coma days.

John:

Oh John Stewart, thank god for you.

John was introduced as an explicitly political character in an explicitly political story. The first time we see him, he's stepping in to defend Black men from a white cop, citing his own knowledge of the law to do so. He shows a much more perceptive and informed perspective on the issue's main plot (a racist senator running for president) than Hal does. Even in the little moment above, we see that he's sensitive to exactly what it means for him, a Black man, to be taking on this role.

None of this is a surprise, since we'll later learn that John's parents were civil rights activists. Not only would he not have had the privilege Hal and Guy did to assume his existence was politically neutral, he was explicitly educated about political realities and progressive advocacy from childhood. He's well-informed, he's passionate, and he's going to tell you when you are being fucking stupid.

John isn't immune from the GL cop/military...thing, although I can't blame Johns for that - it was the cartoon that made him a Marine, and the comics followed suit. But that's never outweighed his origin or his upbringing. Like, he's friends with the DCU's fictional version of Nelson Mandela.

This one is straightforward: John is a staunch progressive. He is, however, in outer space 90% of the time, so he's always at least a little bit out of date. I imagine every time he comes back to Earth he spends the first 24 hours watching the news in abject horror.

Kyle:

Kyle doesn't talk about politics a lot, but when he does, he lands pretty much where you'd expect a young California-born artist living in New York City to land: to the left. My read on Kyle is that he hasn't really thought any of his politics through, which makes sense - he's a character who is led by emotion over reason every time. He doesn't have John's carefully thought-through arguments or knowledge of the law behind him. I feel like when something political upsets him, he's more likely to splutter angrily than make a coherent argument (which: same). When he's given the time to think things through and speak from the heart, though, he can be very eloquent, like in his speech to Terry after Terry accidentally comes out to him.

It's also worth pointing out that his solo appearances were mostly in the 90s, which were prone to avoiding politics or only addressing them in a halfhearted both sides-y way like the story above.

That said, I don't think he ever actually does anything about his political opinions. He never votes in midterm or primary elections, and probably only voted in a presidential one because Alex dragged him along one time. I feel like Donna tried to do the same when they were dating and that was when Kyle realized he'd forgotten to change his voter registration from California to New York. Jennie wasn't responsible enough to Mom him into doing his civic duty, and he's been in space pretty much nonstop ever since, so...

Simon:

In that other post, I said Simon's experiences should have radicalized him, but instead he was created by Geoff Johns. Simon is a Muslim, Lebanese-American man who came of age in the post-9/11 era, and was wrongfully convicted of terrorism and waterboarded at Guantanamo Bay. His reaction to this was...to put on a ski mask and wave a gun around. Like, it's been a while since I've read these issues, but aside from the "ripped from the headlines!!!" of it all, I feel like Simon's experiences largely don't inform his actions or perspective except that he's super angry (fair enough).

The thing about Simon (and Jessica) is that he hasn't been around very long, and most comics don't have characters directly expressing political opinions. It's not a coincidence that these characters are in chronological order and each write-up is shorter than the last. I can think of about three times where Kyle has ever said anything I can interpret as political, and he's been around for 30 years. Simon only has a third of that history. So while one could certainly extrapolate what Simon's opinions are likely to be, I can't think of any canon where he actually says them.

Jessica:

Jessica has even less to go on in terms of explicitly political comics. You'd think she wouldn't like guns because of what happened to her friends, but she has one of her own and doesn't seem bothered by Simon's. I'd imagine she has opinions on immigration as someone whose family is from Mexico and Honduras, but it never comes up. If I were writing for DC, I'd make both Simon and Jess leftists, but as for actual canon proof? I got nothing.

I will say that she probably avoids political discussions because anxiety, and I bet she got really good at voting by mail during her years not leaving the house. She probably votes by mail from space. Maybe John's not the only one with an up-to-date voter registration.

Kilowog:

[acourtofinkandpapyrus]

My Little Shadow: Epilogue/ Part fifteen (Azriel x Reader) Final Part

Warnings: OOF, jealous Elain, smut, smut AND MORE SMUT- Oral, F-receiving, fingering, shadow bondage play, and Y/N losing her virginity to her mate!

Part fourteen (I will be starting another series once the vote I started ends, you can find it here

Tag list: @mis-lil-red @bubybubsters @luvmoo @rorel1a @minakay @foreverrandomwritings Note! If any of you want to be on my Azriel tag list for *any* stories involving him, please message me! I'm still new to tag lists 😅

After healing, you and Azriel find some alone time, and talk about the future a little bit.

I couldn’t help but laugh as I felt cool hands wrap around my midsection, hugging me from behind.

Azriel pulled me into a hug, nuzzling my neck and breathing in my scent.  “Hello, what have you been up to?”  He asked in a pleased tone of voice.

I was told Rhys had found us in the hall, the both of us passed out from our injuries.

Apparently, the collapse had killed all those people following Meave, and of course Meave herself.

With Madja’s help, we had healed extraordinarily fast, almost none of my injuries had scarred over, healed over as if they had never been there in the first place.

Except for my hands, which now matched Azriel’s.

“Not much, just reading.”  I say with a grin, putting down the book I had been so invested in.

He chuckled, and I sighed sadly as he pulled away, taking his warmth with him.

“I’m going to have to go again, I’m needed at the townhouse.”  He said, petting my hair comfortingly.

I couldn’t help but to whirl around, biting my lip in worry.  “Will Elain be there?”  I ask, trying to seem less worried about it than I am, even though it’s a lost cause.

He frowns a bit, worry crinkling his brow.  “I promise you Y/N, there is nothing there.  I love you, and only you.”

I looked away, crossing my arms, I knew I looked pouty, but I didn’t care.  “It’s not you I’m worried about.”

Elain had been strange to me since Azriel and I announced the bond, and if I didn’t know any better she was purposely trying to make my life hard at times.

“I’m sorry my little shadow, but you know that you’re the only one I want, right?”  He said, smiling down softly at me.

I don’t know what spurs me, but I say with the utmost confidence, “Why don’t you show me then?”

His eyes go wide, and I immediately think I’ve gone too far, getting ready to run off and hide.

He pulls me forward and traps my mouth in his, kissing me deeply and exploring my mouth with his tongue.

I shiver as he pulls away, his eyes darkened with lust.  “When I get back shadow, I’ll show you exactly how much I want you.”

And with that he disappears, leaving me with my legs snapped shut tightly and hands shaking.

I make an effort to not think about Azriel while he's gone, one so I don’t worry about Elian, and two, so I don’t look flustered all evening.

I head down to the library, helping Nesta and Gwen with random chores.

“So what’s it like being mated to Azriel?”  Nesta asked as I lifted a particularly heavy set of books.

I tried not to blush as I flashed back to that look he had given me earlier, the way my breath had caught in my chest when he did.

“It’s nice.  I love him a lot.”  I said, hoping to quickly change the subject to something else.

“So you two have a plan to make the mating bond official then?”  She raised a brow, as if to ask me why I’d been holding out on her.

I blink in surprise.  “I hadn’t really thought about it.”

Nesta smiles comfortingly.  “That’s fine, but you’re inviting me, no matter what you plan.”

I giggle, “Of course I will, I wouldn’t dream of leaving you out of something so important.”

Something so important that neither Azriel or I have brought up.

I was quiet after that, thinking of ways to bring it up to Azriel.  That I wanted to be his mate, for the rest of our immortal lives.

The edge of my mouth quirked up at the thought.  I think I would like that.

I had spent hours in the library with Nesta, and as I made my way back to the river house, I saw something in a storefront that made me stop in my tracks.

It was a lingerie shop.

Azriel and I hadn’t done anything of this sort yet, after everything that happened, I don’t think Azriel wanted to push me into something I wasn’t ready for.

Biting my lip, I look at the dark lacy set on the mannequin.

I made it back to the little place Azriel and I were calling home.  I paused in the doorway when I caught a fresh wave of his scent.

I grinned, sending my shadows out to look for him.

We had this game, him and I.  We would see who would hide from the other the best.

So while my shadows searched, as did I.  Though, I quickly realized he wasn’t in any of the main rooms.

“Az?”  I called out, giving up for today.

I just wanted him to hold me in his arms, tell me how much he loved me.

One of his shadows found me, gently wrapping around my wrist and tugging me upstairs.  Toward the bedroom.

My thighs clench together, and I take a deep breath, concentrating on getting up the stairs and finding Azriel.

The shadows tugged me toward my bedroom, the door already cracked.

Leaving me, they slid back into the room.  My shadows follow them in, and I’m standing there, biting my lip.

I finally step forward, opening the door to see Azriel lounging in my bed, book in hand.

He didn’t look up as I entered, and I realized he was reading one of the romance novels I had told him was my favorite.

“Hello Little Shadow, what took you so long?”  He asked, his voice low and seductive.

I opened my mouth, then closed it again, fussing with the end of my shirt.  “I was helping out at the library in the house of wind.  You’re not usually home this early.”

He stood, stalking over to me.  “After your request?  How could I leave you waiting?”  He asked, his breath hitting the shell of my ear, making me shiver.

His hands went to my waist, bringing me closer until we were touching.  “What do you want Y/N?”  He asked, his pupils wide with love as he brought a hand up to brush away a strand of hair.

“This.”  I gasped as his other hand grazed my side.  He must have smelled my arousal that was now pooling in my panties, because he grew taught, as if he was holding himself back.

“Hmmmm.”  He said, leaning down to nuzzle my neck.  I moved, granting him access as he planted kisses and little nips there, making me pant.

“I love you so much Y/N.”  He whispered into my skin, making my eyes roll into the back of my head, pressing my thighs together.

He went to move one of his beautiful hands down my pants, and one of my shadows wrapped around his wrist as I gasped, “Stop-”

Suddenly, he took his hand back, and stopped kissing my neck, his eyes wide in worry.  “Are you alright?  I’m so sorry- I-”

I shake my head.  “No- no.  That’s not it.”  I say, still breathing heavily.  “It’s just… I’ve never done… this, before.”

I swallow thickly, expecting him to look disappointed.  But instead, his eyes gain a predatory glint, which has me struggling to stay standing.

“If anything gets to be too much, you tell me, okay?”  He asks, half growling, and I nod.

He picked me up, and I straddled his waist, whimpering as I felt the hardness of him through the layers of clothes separating us.

I make a little noise of protest as he lifts me away, but he quickly places me on the bed, and I love the way he looks, towering over me with eyes only for me, tracing my form.

“Let's get these clothes off, hmm?”  He said, running his calloused thumb along my jaw and tipping my chin up.

I can’t help the sly smile on my face as I peel my shirt off, revealing the top part of the beautiful black lacy set I had bought on impulse.

The decision was a good one, I decide as I see Azriels face as he growls with desire.

I shimmy out of my pants, and Azriel helps, and he just stares at me for a minute afterward, taking it all in.

My cheeks turn red, and I realize he can see all me scars, ever single one.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen the ones littering my arms and legs, but this was different, I was more… vulnerable.

I go to sit up, but he leans forward, kissing me passionately as he runs his hands up the planes of my stomach.

“You’re so beautiful shadow, and I’m never going to let anyone else lay their hands on you again.”  He says after pulling back, and then he goes over and starts kissing where the tattoo from our bargain curls over my shoulder bone.

He undoes the latch on the bra, whipping it off and I gasp, melting into a moan as he lowers his mouth to my breast, taking my nipple into his mouth and rolling it gently with his tongue, teasing the other one with his hand.

He stayed there for a while, building me up until I just couldn’t stand it anymore, reaching for him.

I gasp as both my and his shadows wrap around my wrists, pinning them above my head.

Azriel looks up at me, grinning before he nips at my breast in reprimand.

“I’m gonna take my time with you baby, I’ma make you feel real good.”  He said at my whimper, trailing down and planting kisses as he reached the panties, taking his thumb and pressing lightly through the fabric, making me gasp as he hit that bundle of nerves.

Shadows slither around to my breasts, teasing me and leaving a cold trail in their wake.

Az pulls the panties off, and I have no time to react as he places his mouth on my wet heat, tasting me with little licks.

I moan, hips bucking as his thumb comes up to rub tight circles around my clit.

Even though I had never done this before, I knew that no one else would have ever been able to make me feel this good.

He pulled back, looking up at me as he licked his lips.  “Enjoying the show, shadow?”

Before I can respond, my eyes are rolling into the back of my head as he stuck a finger in me, pumping slowly.

He growled in pure satisfaction as he listened to the noises of pleasure I was making.

After a minute, he stuck another finger in, stretching me out blissfully as he placed his mouth on my clit, licking it teasingly before pulling it fully into his mouth, moaning around me in a way that made me see stars.

Pumping harder, he brought me over the edge, and I cried out his name in bliss, revealing in this new feeling.

He was softer as he pleasured me through the waves of pleasure crashing into me.

I was panting when he pulled away, his shadows freeing me.  He pulled me up against his chest, and looked down at me longingly.  “May I, shadow?”

I whimpered and nodded, and he took a step back, making quick work of undressing. 

My mouth went dry at the size of him.  I wondered if it would even fit, but I knew that I would make it.

He had beautiful tattoos on his chest, and when he stepped closer again, I traces them with my fingers lightly.

His wings flared slightly before they settled behind his back.

I smiled at the dark, beautiful male I could call my own.

“I want to make the bond official.”  I said, looking to his face to gauge his reaction.

His expression softened into something soft, and he smiled a little bit.  “Then we will.”  He said, gently nudging my legs open.

“I would do anything for you Y/N.  Anything to make you happy.”

I glow in his praise, and he slowly nudges at my entrance.  I gasp, wincing a little as he enters me slowly, stretching me out in all the right ways.

“Move.”  I beg, and he chuckles.

“I have to go slow, shadow.  Hold onto me.”  He says, and I wrap my arms around his neck as he slowly pulled out, and then pushed in all the way, making me moan lewdly.

He grinned against me neck as he did it again, and again, going just a little bit faster with each stroke.

I moaned as the shadows came back to my chest again, and azriel used his fingers on my clit as he shifted, hitting me even deeper than before.

“Azriel- Azriel, I’m gonna cum-”  I said through moans, barely able to think straight.

“Good.”  He growled, thrusting harder, if not a little less smooth as he neared his release too.

I spotted his wings, and I remember something Feyre had told me and grinned mischievously.  I reached a hand out, grazing his wings lightly until he gasped, groaning as he thrust into me hard, and we both toppled over into bliss together.

After we rode it out, I shivered and let out another moan as he pulled me off, carrying me into the bathroom to get us cleaned up.

He set me on the counter and started a bath running, and I couldn’t help but admire the way his muscles shifted under his beautiful skin.

He noticed and chuckled, coming back over to place a kiss on my forehead.  “What type of mating celebrations would you like, darling?”  He asked, and I grinned.

I really did have him wrapped around my finger, didn’t I?

“I’m not sure yet, but Nesta sort of invited herself, so I guess we’ll have to invite your brothers and her sisters too.”

He huffed a laugh, pressing a feather light kiss onto my puffy lips.  “We have all the time to decide my little shadow, and I’ll love whatever you decide.”

“Because I love you.”

[shelbystales]

Honor and Blood - Part Eighteen (Previsouly Gypsy Wit)

Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist

Read previous parts here:  1 -  2  -  3  -  4 -  5 -  6 -  7 -  8 -  9 -  10 -  11 - 12 -  13 -  14 -  15 - 16 - 17 -

Summary: you are a gypsy and your family lives near Birmingham. Tommy Shelby needs a favor and Johnny Dogs says you’re the one he should ask for. A meeting is scheduled and when Tommy meets you, he is instantly drawn to you.

Warning: Swearing, fluff, angst

A/N: This is the former Gypsy Wit story, you guys voted and this is the new title. Please comment and interact. tell me what you think! it means a looot to me if you do!

English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You woke up to the sound of screams and sirens outside Thomas’ house. As your vision adjusted, you could see Thomas hurriedly putting on his clothes.

“What’s happening?” you asked in a hoarse voice.

“I don’t know, go back to sleep. I’ll handle it,” he said, but you ignored him and slowly started getting out from under the covers.

He left the room as you put on his pajamas, deciding to grab the first thing you saw as you opened his dresser.

“It’s her shop,” Polly said when he found her.

“Whose shop?” Thomas asked, bewildered, looking at Arthur running into the house.

“Y/n’s,” Polly answered, making Thomas breath deeply

“It’s bad. There’s fire everywhere,” Arthur spoke, a bit out of breath.

“Fuck,” Thomas whispered, rubbing his eyes.

“The firefighters are there, trying to control the fire, but it’s already consumed everything, Tommy,” Arthur clarified.

You appeared on the staircase, descending the steps slowly while rubbing your eyes, wiping away the sleep and trying to wake up your body.

When you looked at those present in the room, you frowned.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, confused by the worried looks.

“Sit down, love,” Tommy said, walking over to you.

“What’s happened?” you repeated, now with more firmness in your voice.

“Your shop is on fire, dear,” Polly said.

“What? No!” Your gaze shifted from Tommy to Arthur, from Arthur to Polly, hoping they’d start laughing and say it was a prank or something. But they stared at you with concern in their eyes.

Without much thought, you rushed past them and dashed out barefoot through the streets of Small Heath. 

You needed to see with your own eyes.

The cold wind on your face felt like a burn, but you didn’t stop running. The freezing air entering your lungs, although uncomfortable, couldn’t halt you. You ran as if your speed could make a difference.

Your mind was racing with thoughts. Who did this? If it was someone, if it was an accident. The dozens of carpets in the shop, all gone. All the hard work of your people… going to waste so quickly.

When you arrived, you saw the flames. You brought your hand to your face, a sign almost of desperation.

“No, no, no,” you whispered, getting closer to the scene.

There were several people on the street watching the firefighters in action. People you recognized, like the baker who had a shop near yours, the owners of neighboring stores, and also people who lived nearby.

“You can’t get any closer, ma'am,” the firefighter said to you as he rushed by with a bucket of water.

“Bucket?” you muttered to yourself as he moved away, confused about where the hose would be. That’s why the fire spread so quickly; they’re using fucking BUCKETS.

“Y/n,” you heard Thomas call you from behind.

You turned to him, confused, not knowing exactly what you were feeling. You wanted to scream, curse, tell everyone to go to hell, but all you did was cry.

Tommy quickly hugged you and whispered, “It’s going to be okay, we’ll figure this out.”

“They’re… using buckets,” was all you managed to say between sobs.

An hour later, the firefighters finally managed to control the fire. At that moment, you were sitting in the Garrison, looking out the window at everything the firefighters were doing. Polly had made tea, but Tommy had poured you a whisky, and that’s what you were drinking.

You felt defeated. As if you had lost everything, even though you knew it wasn’t entirely true. 

To make matters worse, during your barefoot run, you stepped on a shard of glass, and your foot hurt. It was now soaked in a mixture of whisky and water that Polly had prepared to prevent infections.

After Thomas asked some questions, he was informed that the nearest water source had been cut off for some reason. That’s why they were using buckets.

The police had arrived and were questioning those present, trying to determine if it was a criminal act or not. They had already interrogated you, trying to find out any mistake you could have made to cause this fire. If you left any candles on or any sort of fire. Obviously, the answer was no.

John walked in through the door, followed by your brother and your father. 

You stood up and hugged them both at the same time. You wanted to cry, but you had already cried so much that it seemed like there were no tears left.

“Who did this?” Your father asked, holding your face in his hands.

“I don’t know,” you said with a lack of energy and shrugged.

Patrick looked out of the Garrison window with a sad expression. “Everyone is going to be so sad,” he said.

“Yea, you don’t have to tell me” you said, sitting back on your chair and putting your feet back into Polly’s mixture

“If someone did this. We’ll now” Thomas said. 

He was sitting close to you, but he was giving you space. You needed time to understand everything, it all happened too fast. 

“What are we going to do?” Patrick asked you. He always saw you as an example, as a guide.

“I still don’t know,” you honestly replied. It felt like the ending of a terrible book, where there was no more story to be told because the main character had been defeated.

Although it might be comfortable to assume the role of a victim, it didn’t suit you.

“Well, um,” you took a deep breath and a sip of your whisky, “maybe the jewels survived the fire. We’ll have to check. Starting tomorrow, we’ll begin repairs and continue production. We’ll hope to have at least a few carpets to sell when the store is fixed, which will take a while, since everyone’s morale will be low. That’s only natural. We don’t have the luxury to stop, we need to keep going.”

“Maybe, just maybe,” your father approached you and knelt in front of you, “this is a sign.”

“No, it’s not a damn sign,” you said, already knowing what he was going to say.

“Y/n, our people aren’t welcome here. This could have been done by anyone,” your father continued. “I told you it was a bad idea, our people aren’t meant to stay in one place.”

“With all due respect, Dad. Just shut up,” you said, and he sighed, standing up and moving away from you.

“I’m going home,” he said, leaving the Garrison.

“The last thing we need right now is you two arguing,” Pat rick said with a passive tone. “There are two carpets ready in the warehouse, we made them yesterday. They turned out well, but people are still trying to learn how to use the machines.” You nodded, still focused on your shop through the window. Patrick looked at Thomas and said, “Take care of her.” With a slight nod, Thomas agreed.

Patrick followed their father out of the Garrison.

You brought both hands to your face; you were exhausted. It didn’t even seem like you had just had one of the best nights of your life, one of the most promising moments in your relationship with Thomas. Less than five hours ago, you were having dinner, and he had shared with you, that’s something. Now, all that good feeling had been wiped away, consumed by this mixture of anger and sadness.

“We’re going to take care of the bastards who did this, Y/n. Yeah. Don’t you worry,” Arthur said, his voice approaching you. Removing your hands from your face, you saw him sitting at the table with you and Thomas.

Arthur’s presence was a comfort, a reminder that the Shelby family stood united even in the face of adversity. Thomas remained silent, his eyes fixed on you. 

“Thank you, Arthur,” you managed to force a smile.

“Wanna go home?” Thomas finally spoke up.

“I have to check on the jewelry,” you said, your mind racing with worry.

“I can have someone do that,” Thomas said, his concern evident. “Come on, you need rest.”

“We all bloody need it,” Polly chimed in, exhaling a lungful of smoke.

“I won’t be able to rest,” you admitted, your gaze still fixed on what was left of your shop.

“But you need to,” Thomas insisted, his voice gentle yet firm.

“Leave the girl, Thomas,” Polly instructed, her tone leaving no room for argument. He nodded in agreement.

Once the fire was completely extinguished, you approached the firefighters, who warned you that the structure might be compromised, with a risk of collapsing. They urged you to be cautious and swift. 

They also informed you that you wouldn’t be able to start the fixing processes, the city council would need to come and conduct an assessment to determine if the building is at risk or not. Only after that, you could start the renovations.

As you walked through the wreckage of the shop, the reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks. The charred remains of what once held so much promise and hard work were now reduced to ruins.

The jewelry that had been meticulously crafted and displayed with pride was now likely either destroyed or heavily damaged. The thought made your heart ache, but you knew you couldn’t afford to dwell on it now. You had to salvage what you could.

Amidst the debris, you spotted the glint of metal and glass. You found a few earrings and few necklaces scattered around. Some in a better state than others. Thomas helped you on the search, getting his suit all dirty with the soot from the wreckage. 

Why the hell was he wearing a suit? You frowned for a bit, changing your focus. He always had to look good, to present himself well, you admired that, but sometimes it felt stupid. 

As you continued your search, your mind was already working on the steps ahead. 

After confirming that there wasn’t much left to salvage, Thomas waited for you outside the shop as you took in the scene around you for a while longer. 

Stepping out, you saw the Shelbys engaged in conversation with the police officer. Glancing up at the sky, you noticed that the sun had already risen, and life on the street was beginning to stir awake.

Thomas approached you, his gaze sympathetic and reassuring. “Are you alright?”

You let out a sigh, a mix of exhaustion and frustration. “I will be.” He gently took your hand, offering silent support. You managed a small smile, appreciating his gesture “It’s just… a lot to take in.” He nodded, his understanding evident. “What did the cop say?”

“Some people heard voices, other people saw things. They will investigate this properly, but it looks like it was criminal,” Thomas explained, making you sigh in response. 

He let go of your hand to fix his pajamas on you. He closed one more button, not liking how much cleavage you had for show, truth was, his clothes were too big for you  

“Polly suggested you help in the betting shop today. To keep your mind busy, do you want that?” he asked

“It’s better than staying at home with my dad,” you admitted, appreciating the distraction. You looked at him, wondering what the day had in store for you. “What will I have to do?”

“Count money,” he replied with a slight smirk, his attempt at lightening the mood. You couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

“Counting money doesn’t sound too bad,” you remarked, feeling a sense of normalcy returning.

“I’ll make sure it’s not too boring for you.” he gave you a malicious smirk that sent shivers down your spine, feeling your core throb 

“Damn you, Thomas Shelby” You smiled and he held his hand to you. You took it and you both walked back to his house.

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[yakumtsaki]

-Oh Sunset, I'm so lucky to be in a loving relationship with such a kind, loyal and non-criminally insane person such as yourself!

You're so on the money, buddy, the only thing you missed was 'sexually repelled by cousins'.

-I CAN'T DO THIS, TYLER, YOU'RE SUFFOCATING ME -I'm sorry! Also my name is Ty! -I KNOW BUT IT'S A STUPID NAME AND I'M NOT CALLING YOU THAT

She's right, Ty, and to top it off your last name isn't Union, it's like you're not even trying!

Bruh.. This chain of interactions from the hugging to the insulting to the making out took place in about 1 minute, I can't believe Stacy and Julian of all couples produced Sunset. Why can't you be more like your parents?? They were my cutest, healthiest couple ever!!

-They only thing they cared about having sex 50 a times a day! Aunt June basically raised me!!

Omg I'm looking at the pics of the spare updates I never posted because I suck and YA SHE DID, that explains so much, June is truly the platonic ideal of the hot-batshit combo.

Speaking of batshit-

-And hot!

If you say so, Barth is putting the moves on Marla Biggs, whomst we last saw when June (there she is again) used her to dump Erik-

-Yes, and that one wolf whistle from June turned me gay for all eternity, so don't even bother!

-UGH. So I guess I have no choice..

-..but to sleep with another one of my second cousins! -Oh Barth, I can't believe this is finally happening!!! -I know, Cyan, it took way too long!

We've been here for a week.

-Don't worry, nothing will interrupt this magical moment-WHAT THE FUCK I'M BEING CHEATED ON GOTTA RUN SORRY CYAN CATCH YOU LATER

Ok apparently I was laughing too hard to take a decent pic, but yes, BARTHOLOMEW CAUGHT HIS COUSIN 'CHEATING' ON HIM AS HE WAS HOOKING UP WITH HIS OTHER COUSIN. I HATE MY GAME.

-AND I HATE YOU, SUNSET. YOU BROKE MY HEART -FUCK YOU, BARTHOLOMEW, I'M NOT GONNA BE PART OF YOUR SECOND COUSIN HAREM -I HOPE YOU DROWN IN THE POOL -This was so beautiful, Sunset, I think I'm falling in love with you💙 -GET OUT OF HERE, TYLER -It's Ty! -NO ONE CARES, ASSHOLE -DON'T TALK TO TYLER LIKE THAT -That's not my name! -IT IS NOW, SHUT UP

I gotta hand it to Ty, he's in it to win it, whatever it is one could possibly 'win' when it comes to Sunset.

-Oh Sunset, you're the queen of my heart! -Gross!🥰

-Aw baby, I love spending all our awake time woohooing and doing nothing interesting, huhu!🌞 -It really is the best, thanks to your horrific LTW we don't even have to try! It's so awful people are bound to vote for us just to watch the trainwreck!

Ya I wish I had a counter-argument but you two really have this thing figured out, even I wanna watch me have a mental breakdown trying to raise your 6 asshole kids.

-Our kids are not gonna be assholes!🌞

LOL YA OK MEADOW, whatever helps you sleep at night.

-Meadow and Felina are not the only ones with a perfect relationship! Britannicus and I are also deeply in love!! I'm writing a novel about it as we speak!!!

Jimmy no offense but I literally forgot you live here and I can barely remember who Britannicus is half the time.

-THE PARTY HAS ARRIVED

Oh Britannicus here you are, thank God, you're so indispensable to this legacy!

-All you main-houser bitches look down on me but I have a lot to offer!! I'm grandpa Gunther's heir!!!

Of course you are, now give us the pizza so the people who matter don't die.

-I'll show you! I'll show you all!! >:(

Yes yes, it's been lovely catching up-

-and now it's time to get serious and break Cyan and Barth up! Hit us with your best shot, Marg, we've been on a winning streak lately with those matches, please don't go back to Cyn's leftovers.

-Got you, say no more..

-Here's Kennedy Cox!

MARGARET

-Well it's very hard to find someone Cyneswith hasn't banged!

Ok ya that's very true but Cyan is understandably like 😬 so let's try this again, here's another dollar.

-Alright, you didn't want Cyneswith leftovers..

-How about Sandy the Zombie leftovers??

I hope I don't have to explain to you why that's SO MUCH WORSE

-And I hope I don't have to explain to you that you get what you pay for when you give a dollar for a date!

Fucking touche, Marg, get out of here.

And now for another sequence of events so absolutely ridic I'm just gonna describe it with no dialogue:

So I send Cyan inside to check the college directory thing and see what available bachelors we might booty call up, but there's no one that I like for her so I send her back out to ask Margaret for another dollar date-

-once outside, we find BRITANNICUS SERENADING BARTHOLOMEW, to which Cyan has no reaction as she's probably too shocked-

-poor dumbass loved up Jimmy has no clue and is inside getting high-

-Cyan asks Marg for another date as Barth is performing the Second Cousin Vagina Monologues-

-Margaret gives us Neon Vest Zomb AGAIN and I'm like wtf-

-at which point Britannicus, who just one moment ago was serenading Barth, WOLF WHISTLES AT CYAN-

-CAUSING BARTH TO FEEL CHEATED ON AND DUMP HER

-BETRAYED BY MY OWN BLOOD TWICE IN ONE DAY! OH, THE SHAME!

BARTH SHUT UP. BRITANNICUS WHAT. THE. HELL

-I told you! >:D

Ok you know what, at least with this I feel we have peaked and there is simply no way the situation in this house can get more insane and degenerate-

-Think again!

NO FUCKING WAY. NO. SPICE WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU'RE DATING ELDERLY GOOD WITCH, I SPECIFICALLY FOUND YOU A GF TO KEEP YOU OUT OF THIS BS

-I know but there's something almost genetically inherited drawing me to Cyan! -Yes, It's almost like our parents were into each other but there was some invisible force separating them!

YA THAT WAS THE LAWS OF NATURE

-Oh please, it was the extended family mod and we no longer have to function under its oppression!

NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE IS REMOTELY FUNCTIONING. You know what, enjoy this while it lasts because I'm breaking every single one of you mofos up, istg I feel like I'm fighting the Hydra, I chop one semi-incestuous head off and two others pop up. WELL I'LL WIN LIKE HERACLES

I'd like to end this disgusting update with this image of the rose Ty left for Sunset next to the flaming shitbag Neon Vest Zombie left for Cyan. What is this world coming to that men no longer appreciate you cheating on them with 2 of your cousins during a date?? Chivalry is dead!

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Deborah Kerr (Bonjour Tristesse, An Affair to Remember, The King and I)— For several decades she held the record for most Oscar nominations without a win (6 in total), and she was a prolific leading lady throughout the 40s and 50s. She's best known today for the romance An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant, and as the governess in The King and I. Many people have this erroneous perception of her as extremely prim, proper, and virginal, but this could not be further from the truth. When she first came to Hollywood under MGM she was typecast into boring decorative roles, but broke sexual boundaries for herself and Hollywood generally in From Here to Eternity, when she made out (horizontally!) with Burt Lancaster (on top of him!) in the famous Beach Scene. She went on to play many sexually conflicted women, a character type that would define most of her post- Eternity work. She continued to break Hays Code boundaries with Tea and Sympathy, which addresses homosexuality/homophobia head-on, and even did a topless scene in The Gypsy Moths 1969!! One of the only classic stars to do so. She deserves a more nuanced and frankly a hotter legacy than she currently has!!!

Hend Rostom (Cairo Station, Eshaat Hob)— Egyptian movie star called the "Marilyn Monroe of the East", need anyone say more

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Hend Rostrom:

Deborah Kerr:

I think she was one of my first crushes before I realised I was bi in The King and I when I watched it as a kid honestly. The kissing scene in From Here to Eternity is iconic for a reason. Actually tried to learn the accents for the characters she was playing if they weren't English which is more than pretty much anyone else was doing then. Played very restrained characters who frequently seemed to be desperate not to be so restrained. Did horror movies without venturing into hagsploitation tropes. Gave Marni Nixon the credit she deserved for her share of the singing in The King and I.

Anne Larsen is a peak late 1950s bisexual with big MILF energy. Have you seen the behind the scenes pics of her wearing a suit?? Have you????? Vote Deb as Anne Larsen.

Nominated for an Oscar six (6) times and never won, but besides her having actual talent (hot), and besides her looking Like That (very hot, also beautiful), she was always playing women who are, like, crazy repressed. Which makes it fun and easy for me to read these characters as queer. Icon!!!! You know what's hot? Playing ambiguously gay in vintage Hollywood.

Her face and talent and body, yes, ofc, duh. But also!!! Her HANDS!!!! I may be but a simple lesbian, but she is the best hactor (hand actor) that ever lived and that's HOT! For propriety's sake I feel I must redact a large portion of my commentary on this subject. Anyway. She's hot in her most famous roles (mentioned above), and also some of her sexiest hacting is on display in An Affair to Remember (her hand on the bannister when Cary Grant kisses her off-screen??? HELLO???), Tea and Sympathy (when she's trying to persuade Tom not to go out and she keeps flexing her hands like she wants to reach out to him but can't??? ALLY BEHAVIOR! WE STAN!), and The Innocents (which opens and closes with extended shots of her hands bc director Jack Clayton was also an ally and he did that for ME). Much of her appeal also lies in the fact that she often played deeply repressed characters and you know what's hot? When those uptight characters finally unravel. It's sexy. It's cathartic. It's erotic. Plus, she's beautiful to look at in both black & white and technicolor, and the more of her films you see, the more you can't help but fall in love!

Literally is in thee most famously sexy scene of all time (or maybe just during the hays code era which is what we're talking about HELLO), which is the beach scene with Burt Lancaster in from here to eternity. To quote a tumblr post of a screen capture of a tweet of a video of joy behar on the view: "y'know, there used to be movies where they were kissing on the beach... From Here to Eternity. They're kissing-- Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr are Kissing on the Beach and then the WAVES crash!! You know exactly what they did!"

She might have a reputation of being chaste and virginal or whatever, but we all know it's the quiet ones who are certifiable FREAKS

[ikeromantic]

Nobunaga heat 😚

Oh Nobunaga! My favorite tyrant of the heart ^_^ Approx. 900 words of our carnelian-eyed menace and heat.

Nobunaga could not sleep. The air in the tenshu was thick and hot and still. The night sky above, clouded and heavy, as if conspiring to keep the darkness as sweltering as the day. He shifted disconsolately on his futon, until he finally gave up on the notion and went to stand on his balcony. 

There wasn’t enough breeze to even stir his hair, but just being out here made him feel a little better. His thoughts spun through the events of the day, the concerns of his growing empire, and finally, with some anticipation, landed on the chatelaine. She’d been avoiding him of late. He knew it. Afraid of what another game of go might cause her to yield. 

He smiled, thinking of her saucy responses to him. When she forgot to be nervous, she was deeply amusing. And more. There was something about his lucky charm that made him feel peaceful. That was what he wanted right now. 

Nobunaga sent a servant scurrying to fetch her. 

She came up the stairs with a reluctant gait. He could almost hear the resistance to his summons in every step. And the first words out of her mouth as she entered his room were defiant. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“No. Do you?” He glanced at her over his shoulder. She stood in the dimlit room, as distant as she could get from his balcony perch. 

“Well . . . not exactly, no. But it’s really late. Or early. Anyway, that’s not the point! I was sleeping and you sent someone to wake me up! They had me dress in a hurry and run up here and - and there’s not even an emergency.” She ran her fingers through her hair, suddenly all nerves again, the anger bleeding out of her. 

Nobunaga felt an uncharacteristic guilt over waking her like that. She must have been worried to get such a vague, urgent message. But he shunted that emotion away and gave no sign of it in his expression. “Come here.”

She took a few steps in his direction, then paused. “You aren’t planning to play go, are you? Because I’m way too tired for that.”

“No. No games tonight.” He looked back out over the town, listening to her slow steps. 

The chatelaine stopped at the railing, more than an armslength away. “Well, good.” Then her head snapped up at some sudden thought. “I hope you aren’t under the impression I’m going to warm your bed either. I thought we were clear on that.”

“Warm my bed?” Nobunaga chuckled. “On a night like this, I think it is quite hot enough.” 

“Then . . . what do you want?”

Just you, he thought, his carnelian eyes turning toward her. He took in her lovely profile, the wisps of loose hair that clung to her neck and stuck to her cheek. “Sit.”

Her jaw clenched. “I am not some pet you can order around, mister warlord.”

He grinned. Ah that fire of hers. “Fireball, sit. Please.”

She seemed to debate whether or not the courtesy was enough. Apparently the yes vote won out as she sat down and leaned her back against the railing. “There’s a little bit of a breeze up here at least. I think it’s cooler than my room.”

“Is it?” He turned toward her. She was wearing a hastily tied kimono, thin enough that it was almost opaque had there been any light to shine through it. Her bare legs stuck out the bottom, showing his conquered territory up to her silken thigh. But he didn’t feel lust for her tonight - or not much - just a satisfaction that she was here.

The chatelaine nodded. 

Nobunaga lowered himself to the floor near her.

“Umm. What are you doing?” She eyed him the way she might a strange dog, one that was equally likely to bite as to wag his tail.

He grinned. “Just be still. I am not conquering new territory tonight. And then he laid down, settling his head on those lovely thighs. “You will be my pillow.”

The chatelaine shifted a bit under him, clearly uncomfortable with the idea. “I don’t think I like this. Wouldn’t you rather have a real pillow? I can get one for you.”

“No. Now be quiet.” He shut his eyes and let himself relax into her presence. Her soft skin, the slight sweet floral scent of her perfume, and the sound of her breath and heart beat eased his tension. “Talk to me,” he mumbled.

“What?”

“Tell me about your work. Your day. Anything you like.” He kept his eyes closed, cheek pressed to her leg. It was comfortable there, despite the heat. Perhaps it was just the softness of her. The gentleness that she carried with her everywhere she went.

The chatelaine sighed and after a moment, began to talk. She told him about her day. The work she did, the things she saw, people she met. There was so much joy in it. He fell still, his restlessness retreating. And with his stillness, she too let go of her worry. 

Nobunaga felt himself drifting into an empty, peaceful darkness. A place where his ambitions did not reach. A place where his burdens did not exist. 

As he let himself sink into that space, he felt her cool fingers brush his hair back from his face. “You know, like this you’re much cuter,” the chatelaine said softly. There was warm affection in her voice and in her touch.  His last thought before the darkness took him was of her. How precious she’d become to him. Love, his dream-self whispered, though waking he would have denied it.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading roundup: February 2024

I literally completely forgot I needed to do this oopsie poopsie

WHAT DID I READ IN FEBRUARY!!! LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!!!!

Rouge (Mona Awad, 2023) - listen. there are some very cool ideas in this book, and it's definitely big creepy in places. some of the childhood flashbacks, in particular, had me shrieking with pure dread. but ultimately my issue with this book is the same as my issue with Awad's most well-known novel, Bunny: I would just... kind of like to understand what's going on? like even a little bit? at literally any time? you don't need to explain everything, but man, give me something. vibes alone do not make a meal, and I left this book not really feeling fed.

Our Share of Night (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell 2023) - god, this book makes you WORK FOR IT, but I'm glad I stuck it out. Enríquez has written a fucking doorstopper of intergenerational drama, about an Argentinian family deeply embroiled in a cult that worships something otherworldly and... hungry. perpetually sickly Juan is the Order's prized prophet, but after his wife's death is orchestrated by her own mother he becomes determined to get their young son, Gaspar, away from the Order's control by any means necessary. a wrenching read that swings through every kind of horror, swinging from the supernatural to Argentina's military dictatorship in the 70s to the AIDS epidemic in the 80s and 90s to an absolutely brutal ending.

Red String Theory (Lauren Kung Jessen, 2024) - some of you may recall that Lauren Kung Jessen wrote Lunar Love, one of my favorite romance novels of last year thanks to a zodiac-obsessed protagonist who's (unintentionally) giving major Rebecca Bunch pre-diagnosis in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend vibes. Red String Theory also has a female lead obsessed with mythological matchmaking, so I was really hoping for another unhinged queen, but please don't make my mistake: everyone in this book is devastatingly hinged, and the only real conflict is two characters who like each other from the jump repeatedly coming up with unsatisfying excuses for why they can't date each other. my least favorite was "we'll only in the same city for A YEAR," which is absolutely hogshit wild. "only a year." get out of here. I hate you guys.

Drinking from Graveyard Wells (Yvette Lisa Ndlovu, 2023) - a tiny short story debut by Ndlovu, a Zimbabwean sarungano. one of my very favorite genre of short story collections is "women having a bad time taken up to 11," and god does this deliver. Ndlovu writes about the many indignities heaped upon Zimbabwean women at home and abroad, weaving together tight stories about misogyny, war, poverty, and immigration with restless spirits, bored gods, ignored wise women, and unsatisfactory afterlives. there's a story about a near future in which diamond miners are purposefully set up and sacrificed to an angry underground god to create more diamonds that was so fucking clever, and the final story - the titular Drinking from Graveyard Wells - was just... an absolutely perfect short story. suspenseful and eerie and just enough of a hint of explanation to really chill you. chef's kiss.

It Happened One Summer (Tessa Bailey, 2021) - shout out to all of my patreon supporters who voted to make me read another Tessa Bailey book; you truly wish darkness and despair upon me. here's the insane thing about this book: if you just completely ignore the actual central romance, it's just a sweet book about an infinitely likeable young woman unplugging from her shallow socialite life and finding a new niche reviving her deceased father's bar in a tiny fishing town in Washington. it's like, you know, the plot of a pretty okay disney channel original movie? it's no Minute Men or High School Musical, but it's cute. it's a solid Dairy Girls or Princess Protection Program. but then there's the love interest, who's just a fucking tool all the way down. reader, I kept wishing he would get swept over the rigging of his own crab boat and die ingloriously at sea. this guy sucks so bad. also the sex scenes were identical to the ones in Unfortunately Yours and they did not taste any better reheated. fascinating treatise on cishetero gender norms, rancid romance. I wrote a whole thing about it on my patreon if you're into that kind of nastiness.