#pls tell me if i have any problems with my english

[ohnopoteito]

"something about you" ellie x reader

Reader entering a convenience store and falling in love with cashier Ellie;

a/n: Hello everyone, I'd like to give you guys some warnings before reading my very first fanfic bc I just want to create a good space for everyone 😭 English is not my native language so I'd be very glad if you contact me if you find any grammar mistake bc not only that but I also wear glasses and now everything is blurring pls send help (jk) so pls be nice!!!

c/w: It's just loser!ellie and loser!reader bc I know what you are... only a fluff fanfic to warm your hearts, cursing? reader pronouns are she/her so I hope this is not a problem, I also avoided giving reader some appearance description bc i wanted everyone to feel included, but i'll tell you if i change something, but reader wears glasses bc i wear it too but i promise this is not a self insert fanfic pls. That's all i guess... enjoy :)

♡ chapter one!

A cold wind fell apart on your figure as you climbed the street to reach your usual route to your classes. You could start feeling your throat drying by that whole awful climbing, wondering how old people living nearby could walk on that climb in such an easy path, but you also wondered with your own thoughts:

"Maybe I'm the old one..." As you tried to find in your memory the last time you stepped into a gym and lightened up a nervous grin, "I've never stepped into a gym." Your voice echoed in your head, so disappointed... with your own choices.

The dry throath was scratching and begging for the smallest water particle. Fortunately, you were always carrying your thermos in your bag, but unfortunately, you forgot it that day. "Amazing, really." you muttured while a deep breath let out of your nostrils.

Your feet walked you until a convenience store nearby, speding the whole walk wondering if buying a bottle of water was really necessary, but the guilt of your annual goal of drinking more water was knocking at the door.

"Not everything is lost, I still have time before my classes." You thought with yourself, observing the convenience store facade was you were getting closer.

You opened the door and went straight to look for a display refrigerator, almost nonchalant. It was just an ordinary store, after all, just like every convenience store. Organized at least, but you couldn't ignore a random dinosaur sticker on one of the shopping baskets your eyes laid on for a quick second. Shaking your head to push away useless worries, your figure followed to the checkout counter.

You weren't really paying attention to the cashier before, as your actions kept focused on finding your wallet in your bag. But in a very ridiculous way, you caught yourself pathetically static when you heard a voice completely different from anything you had ever heard before.

"Hello?" A mixture of annoyance and tiredness could be felt. You raised your head to meet the owner of such an attractive voice, furrowing your eyebrows lightly as your eyes seemed to shine clearly when that figure filled up your vision. Your breath was stuck in your throat due to the thirst but also for that uncomfortable piercing green eyes looking at you, dark circles around the eyes and ironically highlighting those green iris.

"What?" You asked in weak voice tone, almost scared, intimidated by that figure... a very attractive figure. You could feel your face heat up lightly.

"I asked how you preferred to pay." The cashier asked calmly, tilting slightly to the side. You stutterd a bit your answer before finally paying for the stupid bottle of water.

You found yourself leaning against the wall, finally outside the store questioning all your life choices and personality traits. Your eyes darted on the empty bottle you had drunk all the water compulsively to not think about the cute cashier and her cute freckles and the small scar on her right eyebrow, and right arm tattoo.

"Oh my god, her tattoo." You whispered as your hands covered your studipdly flushed face. "What am I doing, stop, stop." You patted your cheeks and tried to recompose your posture, your less loser posture.

The rest of your morning included you stuck in a classroom for hours with a bunch of new information and contents you'll have to learn by the end of the month, graduation stress always gets you no matter how hard you try to not get caught by it. But somehow you almost couldn't feel that stress increasing in your mind, because the only thing you could think was the awkard moment between you and the cashier earlier.

Despite her sleepy expression and almost annoyed voice tone, her freckles decreased that intimidating aurea by your conception, the sloopy half-up and half-down hairstyle; you couldn't help but remember all those face details and smile lightly.

"What." Your jaw dropped, wide opening your eyes. You were so stupid you could even feel your head ache a little.

Trying to calm your messed up mind, overthinking about the college tasks and exams, there it was, an extra corner about that auburn hair cashier. Was that a really big deal? Why are your heart beating faster every time you remember those green eyes? Maybe you were being too emotional, of course you are being too emotional.

Too much emotional. You found yourself in front of the convenience store once again, asking yourself if your mind was now tricking you. Those bright lights caused your pupils to sting. It was already night and the stars were shy in the sky, and for a blessing thing, your home path was safe enough to walk around alone during the night.

You couldn't tell how much time you spent stading in front of the store facade, but you were considering the idea of entering the place only to see her once again, and you felt like a loser. You shouldn't do this.

But you did, you entered the convenience store with the eyes of yours examining everything around the place, and another spot could be seen a dinosaur sticker, right on one of the shelves. "The manager might have a kid?" You supposed with yourself as your nervous pace reached a section next to the checkout counter, your anxious eyes trying to spot the cashier from earlier, wondering with your thoughts if it was only a part-time job of hers.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, it seemed to be a full-time job. You could see that figure once again, and for some reason, your mind was silent miraculously. It was... good and almost comforting, to look at her, minding her business and being focused on something. Enchanting.

"Can I help you?" Her voice echoed, snapping you out of your trance. Was she annoyed? Of course, you were staring at her until she could feel that;

With a pair of flushed cheeks, you answered her ungainly, "What, well, hum..." You couldn't just run away like a freak.

"Oh, god." You said in a breath, "What a day." You smiled embarrassed of yourself, feeling so small in compare to her, you could shrink until she couldn't see you anymore. "I was just looking at a blind spot, I got distracted, sorry." It was almost inaudible, the poor eyes of yours staring at random different types of razors.

"fuck it, shit is already in the fan." You thought as your hand grabbed a pack of q-tips, which you don't really need at the moment but you felt like you shouldn't leave empty-handed.

Appearing again in front of her, your eyes met for a quick second before you gave up looking at her, "I'll take this, and I'm paying with cash, please." You spoke up, your voice almost dissipating.

You handed her your last paper notes.

She was so alluring it was almost a sin to dare looking at her. You felt almost criminal being this observing about her, and her... dinosaur sticker on a black cover notebook.

In a second of response, you tilted your head slisghtly to the side, finding undeniably curious all of that. The notebook was resting in the edge of the counter, and it seemed old plus well used, with stars and dinosaurs stickers all over the cover and a small spaceship drawing in the corner. "Is that yours?" You asked out loud what should be only to you and the voices of your head. Panicking eyes searching for the auburn girl.

"What? Oh, shit." Her hand grabbed the notebook in a blink of an eye and stuffed it into an old backpack placed on the chair behind her.

"No, It's nice!" You responded quickly, raising your hand lightly and resting it on the cash register. "I liked it. Dinosaurs are... cool?" Your voice tone decreased as she was now turning all her attention to your eyes. Deep, you should add on it.

"Do you like dinosaurs?" She just seemed like a little kid. The deep gaze of before was now only like a pair of puppy eyes, a wary puppy.

And now you couldn't screw things up.

"Hum, well. There're so much stuff about them, right? Movies and content to study, I can say that's quite interesting, so... I'm not a hater? I mean, I've already watched Jurrasic Park, so I think it counts as something?" You did your best to sound sincere in your response. You weren't a hater, indeed, but it wasn't really something it makes you want to spend time consuming.

Her expression was hard to read, but you felt there wasn't an awkward atmosphere like before. Certainly, you still felt yourself small, but her posture seemed slightly welcoming now.

"Yeah, it's something." She said in a low tone, her voice tearing slightly through her throat, slightly hoarse. She examined you for a couple of seconds, but you were too distracted by her captivating intense eyes. You could just get lost there, and you wouldn't even mind. "Here."

She handed you your shop bag with a single pack of "Excuse to talk to her" and started brushing her fingers on the counter, "You should go home." She said to you, a neutral expression as she avoided your eyes. Your face almost dropped by her sudden sentence.

"I mean, it's late and you shouldn't stay out this late." Her head turned to the monitor next to both of you, pointing to the time. Her right hand scracthing the back of her neck, the tattoo exposed. "I'm not kicking you out, it's just that... I don't know. I'ts just the way I..."

"Show that you don't hate me?" You interrupted her. Your voice sounded so natural, you were now feeling natural, no fear of speaking or behaving.

She looked at you as her eyes blinked for some quick seconds. You still couldn't read her, but you knew she was almost feeling just like you.

"Yeah, something like that." She whispered between a light smirk, her arms crossed as her eyes laid on your eyes once again.

You couldn't help but press your lips tightly so a silly smile of yours wouldn't come out, eyes turning to the store entrance. "I think I should go, yeah." You said almost breathslessly.

One day crush never hit you so hard before.

:)

Yeah... that's all i got 😭 hope you enjoyed :) god i'm exhausted sorry

A shout out to my friend @yourelliewillms bc she really encouraged to post this 💋💋 mi gente latino

[sataraxia]

jerk.

earth42!miles x fem!reader

summary: you haven't heard about him for a whole week, what a 'jerk'. (wc: 3.9 k, kinda short and a dumb blurb)

warnings: cursing, a kind of suggestive? line at the end.

a/n: it's the first time i publish something so maybe it's kinda bad idk, and also this isn't angst miles is actually the best man ever pls i just wanna hug him. aand english isn't my first language so pls pls let me know if i spelled something wrong!

"I heard that kiki was invited to prom in the most romantic way possible, I'm so jealous."

"oh god, yeah, I wish I had a boyfriend like hers, or well, just a boyfriend".

You were biting your nails right now, looking everywhere but at your friends, what a topic, huh?

“hey, your boyfriend already invited you?”

And there was the question, you just looked lazily at them “uh, sure”

The truth was that you hadn't been talking to Miles for a week or so, and this was exactly why.

You always understood that maybe he didn't like a lot of things about high school, and you never complained about it, but this time, it was something important to you, and he didn't seem to care.

"baby, it's just a dance, I don't understand why you're acting like it's such a big deal." he said while not even looking at your direction.

"maybe it's a big deal that you're being a jerk about this."

Yeah, that conversation didn't end well, you haven't heard from him since.

The thing was, you don't do a lot of couple things publicly, and it's slowly starting to affect your mind, maybe he didn't want to be seen with you, or someone couldn't see him with you, the thought alone causing you to shiver. 

You spent the rest of the day distracting yourself with your friends and your homework, secretly waiting for a message from him to appear on your phone.

It did, but definitely not what you expected.

miles <4: 'i’m back in town, wyd?'

Oh. 

You didn't know whether to be happy that he wasn't ignoring you, or angry that he didn't give the last discussion more than a thought. 

You decided not to let it go this time, and not even look at the text.

Of course, that was stupid, but so were you.

It wasn't more than two hours, he was already knocking on your window, and once you let him in, he just looked at you, deeply.

“wanna’ tell me what’s up with you, darling?”

That was not affectionate, he was annoyed, mocking, you realize.

“nothing.” you couldn’t look at him when you were lying, he knew that.

“i thought you were the one who opted for that communication bullshit, cmon.”

“where were you?”

“work”  the tone was defensive, almost secretive, it was always like that when he mentioned something about the prowler, you never talked a lot about it.

“you could have told me”

“thought you didn't want a jerk talking to you?”

“yeah, but you’re still my boyfriend, Miles, we argued, and I didn't hear about you for a whole week.”

“sorry.”

That's what made your veins boil the most, he was never mean, disrespectful, or a jerk.

He always knew when to say sorry or when he had done the wrong thing, that meant he didn't really care about the problem that kept popping into your head, he didn't see it like a problem at all.

And that only made you feel dumber, maybe you were overreacting, again.

“it’s okay, i just missed you” 

That's all you had to say for him to look at you with those eyes that made you feel like the most special woman on earth, that made any insecurity disappear just as the space between your bodies did.

“i missed you too.”

Of course, he stayed the whole night with you.

The next afternoon, when you entered your room, you saw a package on your bed, with a note on top of it

“I couldn't go to prom if my girl wasn't wearing my color, be at your door by eight o'clock. 

                                                                                                      luv ya, miles.”

Inside the package was a beautiful dress, vibrant purple, obviously.

This was definitely the man of your dreams.

+bonus:

Eight o'clock, and he was with his motorcycle at your door.

"you are breathtaking, love" he said and you approached him to give him just a little kiss, while smiling.

"thanks for all this, but I thought it wasn't a big deal?" a smirk adorned your face.

"it was a big deal if you were calling me a jerk about it" you grabbed his waist as you settled on the bike.

"sorry about that." a little peck on the cheek.

"you'll have time to apologize to me, don't worry:"

[weirdsht]

Hihihi hello!!! Hope ur doing well 🫶🏻

Cale n the co with someone who likes to give quick, gentle kisses? It can be platonic as well (sorry i kiss everything i like)—the kids, rosalyn, cage, hannah, their pillows, n many more. Like imagine kissing the kids' foreheads more than just few seconds and so sweetly bc they love their adorable little faces with big doe eyes so much-- I'm gonna cry so bad bro. I live for happiness w my unreal beloveds 🫂

Hershey’s - LoTCF & Gn! Reader

notes: I think 4+1 fics are becoming my go-to...

tags: gender neutral reader, sickfic at the end, fluff, kisses, platonic

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

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When you first worked with Cale everyone was immediately introduced to your… peculiar habit.

Kiss!

[Name] kissed Cale’s hand as a greeting.

“It’ll be my pleasure to work with you young master.”

“Is this how you greet everyone?”

Cale asked but he didn’t look uncomfortable. Unlike when Clopeh compliments him. Because unlike that lunatic, the young master could feel the respect in that peck.

“When it seems appropriate. I’ll refrain from doing it if you are uncomfortable.”

Yup, [Name] is a hundred times better than Clopeh. They can’t even be compared.

“No, it’s fine. I was just curious.”

“As long as the young master doesn’t mind then.”

+~+~+~+~+~+

It was a rare day when everyone was taking a day off. No one was training or anything. They have all collectively decided to laze around.

“[Name] tells us a bedtime story!”

Raon demands as he and the kittens lie down on Cale’s bed. The owner was rolling around the marble floors somewhere else.

“But it’s still midday? Why would you want a bedtime story now?”

[Name] tilts their head in confusion at the kid’s demand.

“Cale told us that anytime is a good time to sleep nya!”

Hong reasoned as he tapped his paw on the bed for emphasis.

“Fair enough. I’ll get a fairy tale book then.”

Two stories in and the children already looked drowsy. All of them are ready to take a nap. [Name] closed the book they were reading and leaned down to kiss each of the children’s foreheads.

“Sleep well, kids.”

After that, they demand [name] to tell them a bedtime story every night.

…it certainly wasn’t because the kiss felt nice.

…not at all.

+~+~+~+~+~+

“Thanks for training with me Choi Han!”

[Name] thanked the swordmaster. Only the two of them are in the plaza. Everyone else had already finished for the day but [name] asked Choi Han for extra training.

“No problem.”

Choi Han replies as he hands his friend a bottle of water to drink.

Together they sat in silence. Only the sound of the water being drank and the towel wiping their sweat could be heard.

“Come one, let’s go. We have to shower before Beacrox kicks our asses.”

[Name] chuckled as they offered their hand for Choi Han to grab. The black-haired man also laughs as he imagines the chef’s angry face.

Once they reached the door to [name]’s room they got on their tiptoe.

Kiss!

Then kissed Choi Han’s cheeks.

“Thanks again, Choi Han! I’ll treat you to something nice next time!”

With that, they enter their room leaving the poor man outside with a very red face.

“First time?”

Rosalyn laughs as she passes by the swordmaster.

Choi Han knows that it’s just the way [name] shows affection.

But still, he can’t help but feel embarrassed.

+~+~+~+~+~+

Sniff. Sniff.

On sniffed as she held back her tears. 

Why the tears one might ask?

She accidentally scraped her knee while running around in the Forest of Darkness. The sting from the wound hurts so bad that it makes her tear up.

“Oh no baby come here. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

[Name] picks the silver kitten up so they can clean the wound. Once they entered the room On was placed on the bed so they could get the first aid kit.

In no time, the kitten’s knee is all bandaged up.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“No. Thank you [name].”

[Name] smiled brightly as they received On’s gratitude. They then leaned down and kissed the silver kitten’s bandaged knee.

“To make it heal faster.”

“Then… every time one of us gets hurt we can go to you to kiss it all better?”

On paws [name]’s face. They are now on their way back to meet up with everyone.

“Of course! But that right is exclusive for children. The grown-ups can handle themself.”

[Name] winks at On and both of them giggle as they walk.

Deep inside, On thinks she shouldn’t tell the rest of the kids about this privilege.

She feels like they would deliberately hurt themselves just to get a kiss.

+~+~+~+~+~+

[Name] was sick with a fever. They have been delirious and fading in and out of consciousness for 2 days now.

There’s not much they remember but they did retain the memory of a bunch of people kissing them.

Kiss!

“Get well soon.”

Rosalyn kissed the crown of their head as she wished them well.

Kiss!

“It’s hard seeing my sparring partner sick like this. Get better soon so we can spar.”

Choi Han kissed their hand with a promise of spar.

Kiss!

“I know you said it’s exclusive for children but maybe it’ll work on you too.”

On pats their head as she kissed their forehead.

Kiss!

“Get well soon [Name]! Because you're sick I’ll read you a bedtime story instead!”

Raon kissed their cheek before he started reading a children’s storybook.

…[name] genuinely doesn’t know anymore if their red face is from their fever or their kisses.

[tookthe-405]

On our way

Chapter 1 :

We’ll keep falling on each other

DONATIONS & LINKS 🇵🇸

DAILY CLICK🍉

Loser!ellie x ex-bsf!reader

ROADTRIPPPP

authors note: first chapterrr🤪 ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO PLS

And pls tell me if the chapters should be shorter and what kind of perspective I should write from (Ellie pov will come later when I’ll fit), LONG AF

Summary: modern Jackson au!

you and Ellie were best friends through your childhood. Now your just neighbours who act like enemies towards each other, but after an incidence you both decide to run away together.

Joel lives 💯

warnings: anxiety , Panik attack?, alcohol, smoking, feeling of throwing up (only mentioned once) smut in future chapters!!, chaotic and stupid arguing between reader and Ellie, school anxiety, messy af (I mostly write at night when the demons come out🐺)

(ellie is 18 and reader is 17 (soon 18))

Readers pov:

6/25

You couldn’t remember the fall out.

For a matter of fact you couldn’t remember anything that happened that night.

You just knew that the next morning Ellie and you weren’t friends anymore. You guys weren’t anything, just total strangers who knew more about each other than any other.

“Iced Coffee and 4 chocolate donuts should be your order”

Your head snaps up and an older guy holds out a bag of donuts.

“Yes, thank you”

You quickly scurry out of the waiting crowd, out the dinner and into the summer air.

2:25 p.m. If Jody would finally pick you up, the both of you might only be 10 minutes late to the game.

While you're waiting, you take a donut out of the bag and realize as you're eating that you don't have a cold ice coffee in your other hand.

"Fuck”

you really wanted that coffee, and by any normal logic you should just go back.

But the fear of embarrassment won. so you decide to just wait outside without a coffee, feeling the dizziness of the lack of sleep in your brain.

The day before was the last exam and you couldn’t sleep the whole night, because of your anxious thoughts that are so unjustified that it’s actually embarrassing.

you watched the cars drive by, as you wait for Judy to pull over.

Today was the last school day. Ever. This morning was the last morning you would ever be in a high school class room to study.

After waiting for a while you hear the horn of Judy`s car or rather her parents car, since both of you are broke and only one of you has their license.

"i forgot my coffee" you complain as you collapse into the passager seat.

"yeah but you didn`t forgot the donuts and thats the really important thing here" Jody happily takes the box full of donuts, out of your hand

"footbal games always stress me out" you rummage through your bag, looking for gumm or just something that will help your body through this hard time.

"i hope my exams were good" you tell her anxious.

"It was our last fucking day, dont worry about something that is over soon. Those last days don`t really matter no one cares"

"I do"

Judy scoffs, puting the donute to her mouth again, all while looking at the street.

"I know, thats your problem. Really, you need to fix that. Your grades are amazing and whatever college you wanna go to, will say yes."

Now you scoff.

"right then why haven’t they replied yet then?"

"because you were too anxious too send your application, you almost threw up in my room"

Your face contorts at the memory. Judy's poor cat hissed at you the whole time because you couldn't sit still at all.

"yeah sorry he gets like that, but not all cats are this easy to annoy i swear"

Your giggle fills the car and you share the last donute, as judy tries to find a parking spot which is obviossly not that easy anymore.

"goddamit those wild people are so greedy" her hands grab the steerig wheel harder, but theres simply no other free spot anymore.

You grow even more annoyed now.

The thoughts in your head take more space than you usually allow them.

The whole morning was shit, the whole day is shit and your life is fucked if you don’t get into university.

"i think we need to use the other one" judy says

"then we`ll have to run through the whole fucking school, were already late, Malik is playing!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she looks at you, thinking, and finally sighs.

"get out I’ll park the car" You immediantly regret snapping at her.

"you dont have to-"

she interrupts you (no suprise)

"bro get out of my car. It’s my fault we`re too late anyway and we both know im only here for the fries"

For a few seconds you hesitate, but then you grab your bag and the donut, and get out the car. Outside, a warm brise tickles your skin, now that the sun is shining right on your face. You pinch you eyes.

Judy dissapers around the corner and you wave, hoping she saw it, but the worry leaves with her because you start running towards the football field.

The whole row was full, every seat. You try to push your way through the crowd on the front, which didn't make it any easier because everyone was pushing forward against the bar to see better.

And it was so loud, every type of noises from every angle. This is your last game of course everyone will be loud, Jesus you’ll be loud, but the game hasn’t even started.

Arriving in the almost last row, Lyla waves to you and you sprint towards her.

"I don't know how you manage to save us seats, thank you so much," You almost scream, because the large group sitting behind her started singing the fucking national anthem.

lyla quickly hugs you and sits right back down. "I don't know how either, but here you go. Where's Judy?"

Her gaze wanders behind you to look out for her, as if judy is hiding behind you "Looking for another parking spot and getting us some fries"

You feel the light box in your hand and remember the one donut inside it.

“Here we’ve left you a donut”

“How generous” lyla replies smirking

Your attention turns to the football field. No one’s there.

“Everyone is still in the cabins, you're not as late as you think" she adds while slurping her milshake.

Malik is Lylas brother and a good friend of yours. Even Judy likes him, and that's saying something.

After the "incident" you tried so hard to find another group of friends, that one day it actually happened.

Which wasnt easy, before ellie you didnt relly need other friends. You also didnt want other ones. You always thought she felt the same way.

Her company, her words, her feelings and thoughts were all you wanted.

"Holy shit im not late!"

Judy's loud voice pulls you out of your thoughts. She quickly sits down next to you and hands you the large french fries package. You grin at her and pass them on to lyla. The loud noises became quieter and quieter, which made you hear the microphone voice.

"Dear seniors and juniors, After weeks full of learning and exams, one last football game with our beloved team and a guest team of their choice should be enough for you. I don't understand why you wanted to have this when every one of you’ve seen so many other games, but as you want. That’s the last one really though, please."

Judy giggles at the voice of the principal, but with empathy rather than mockery.

"Poor Ms. Servopoulos, juniors and seniors are not easy. The Other Class's prank surpassed everything"

lylas eyes widened at the memory. "Which of the 20 One?" She asks, leaning a bit over my lap to hear judy better.

"The one where they all had their tables outside at the_" Judy's bright voice gets stuck in the air, and she looks past me with squinted eyes in dismay.

You know why and didn't want to turn around.

But you do it anyway.

She wore her typical short baggy shorts and a red oversize t shirt with a fucking beanie , which makes her look like the love child of Adam Sandler and Jesse Pinkman.

You’d be happy to laugh at her if she didn't look so fucking good. But you chuckle a bit in your head at the Beanie, because it’s fucking june.

She looks down at you , just standing there.

Ellie has always been a bit taller than you. You might be sitting right know, but you still know That hasn't changed yet. You don't have to get up to be sure. You would notice if she grew even 1 cm. You don't know if she would still recognize that about you.

The familiar, soft and light brown freckles on her face. As a tween you always wanted to connect them, to find out how it would turn out. Or how she would look. Or react. You wanted to make her laugh so bad it hurt.

"Seth told me to bring this too you"

The Ice Caffee, with your name on it, is suddenly right in front of your face.

"Why should I accept it? It's already warm anyway" The irritated pitch in your voice cannot be ignored

Elie's gaze remains neutral, but there was some caution in her expression. "He forced me when I was paying, just take it and throw it away."

"Why didn't you throw it away?"

"Because im at a point where I listen to that old man for my benefits. Seth hates me already. He didn't even tell me about the senior special last week" she protests

You roll your eyes in annoyance.

"i dont give a shit about you or the now hot coffee"

Your argument became more intense, Judy and lyla exchanged glances but stayed out of it. You want to sort out your shit yourself and they know that.

"just fucking throw it away ellie!"

"No, I'm sitting at the top and have to go down all the fucking stairs and-"

"I don't care Ellie"

The people around slowly became aware of the both of you screaming, and you wonder for a second how strange you both must look right now. How you line up like little kids. But ellie also hurt the child version of you. God she has hurt so fucking many versions of you.

"just be happy that I’m even bringing this too you, i didnt really had to do that"

Her hand holds the plastic cup so hard in front of your face that it looks like it's about to explode.

The fact that she thinks she has a right to be angry with you bothers you even more, as you try to hold back your tears. You try to imagine her as adam sandler, screaming at you in this fucked up voice from grown ups, to make the tears go away.

"right i didn’t ask you to do anything, you decided to be so stupid and come over here"

she chuckles sligtly at your words, really pissed now. "you bitch-"

The last words never came out of her mouth. But the coffee out the cup. On your shirt.

Frightened, you take a loud breath in and stand up. Ellie has already put a safe distance between the both of you and her own mouth is open with surprise and startle.

Behind her stands a paralyzed Joshua, with his hand on his mouth.

"I swear, he ran into me...," she babbles desperately to herslef, waving her hands in the air, the empty cup on the floor now. Looks like the rest of the liquor soaked your shoes.

Yo didn’t let her finish. You mumble to lyla and judy not to follow you and that you would call them later. You grabbed your bag and Then left.

And you cried the whole ride home with your mom next to you. And not because of the coffee.

The smoke comes out of your mouth, you take the ciggarette to you lips again, and breathe in deeply.

If you smoke in your room, you always have to lean almost completely out of the window, now with the shadows of the trees falling in your face.

The light, split by the limbs, danced to the movements of the branches. There was a small and almost sweet breeze in the air.

The sun is still shining, but the golden hour is almost here.

You get goose bums on your arm as a cold breeze comes, and you put out the cigarette on your ashtray.

As you lie down on your bed and just stare at the wall for a while, the dark smell of cigarettes is still in the air. your parents don't care as long as it doesn't get into the rest of the house.

You grab a book from your bedside table and start reading.

"And when you at last find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter- they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped darek inside yous so long"

You close the book with a jerk.

Yes, maybe no sylvia plath for today.

The buzzing of your phone makes your head move to the side.

Judy: Malik won

Judy: Tonights a party at the beach, everyones going

Your eyes stare back into the void of your ceiling.

Ellie has had so much influence over you and your feelings for so long, that has to stop at some point. And with all the anger in you, you think that today it will.

You get up and stand in front of your closet, you rummage around to find something and you do. A t shirt that belonged to ellie.

Your fingers brush over the dark green material. It was a fucking normal t shirt. Except that it wasn't.

"Today it will stops"

You put the t-shirt in your backpack and look for an outfit that was well suited for the beach. In the end, you wear short jeans shorts, where your grandma had sewn in flower patterns years ago, With a light blue shirt it goes nicely with the flowers.

you: can you pick me up?

Judy: I would love too :)

You quickly brush your teeth to get rid of the smell of smoke. Outside, you can already hear Judy's honking. You sprint down the stairs with your backpack and look for your beach shoes.

"Where are you going" Your mother is standing behind you with her arms crossed. In her old cardigan, she looked like she did a few years ago and you almost get a déjà vu.

"A party, Judys picking me up"

"how long are you gonna be there?"

"Mom im going to be 18 in what now 4 days you dont have to ask me that anymore"

she scoffs

"yes i do and guess what? i also want you to text me So i know youll be fine"

Nervously, you look out to see if Judy's car is still there, maybe she thinks you've changed your mind.

"Ok, Mom, I'll probably go to Judy's and be gone till midnight."

Suspiciously, she looks at you from head to toe, but (luckily) gives in.

"okay but please call me if something happens. Be smarter than your brother"

Your body flinches at the mention of him. "Has… he called lately?" you murmur

She looked at the floor and you thought for a moment she was going to cry. "No, but maybe if you call him, he'll answer"

You nod, but you know you won't do it.

He doesn't care about you either.

~

"I'm proud that you're coming along" Judy and you are walking, with beer in your arms, towards the beach where a few people have already gathered.

"I mean, that was a great show, a few people definitely noticed it"

You sigh at the unpleasant memory. "Then that's the way it is, I think a few other things are going to happen tonight, that are far more interesting than a girl with coffee on her T-shirt"

"I hope so" A mischievous smile on her face.

You look around to find lyla and malik, But because of all the people, it doesn’t really work. You were sure that there weren't that many seniors and juniors, but that a few friends of others came along. There was a big fire and even a barbecue.

After wandering around for a while, you find the two siblings. They had already made themselves comfortable on the big blanket and had taken some alcohol with them, but the bottles will probably spread over the whole beach anyway.

"Finally I see you, everything ok with you?" Malik mentions as he stands up, giving you a vigorouslyhug. "Really fucked up what happened"

You digress with a wave of your hand and sit down

"im fine, but you won, tell me abou it!" You try to make your voice as shrill as possible to make it clear that you don't want to talk about it.

“oh yeah we won, I made a touchdown, obviouly"

"almost didn’t catch it tho" throws lyla into the round and you giggle.

"Shut up, we only won our last game Ever, Because of me!”

Pride, but also the quiet pain of the loss of his team, can be noticed on his face andin his voice. The reality that you try so hard to run away from hits you again. high school is over, real life begins now.

“whatever, im getting something to drink and then im gonna tell sam to put on some music” Lyla ties you back into the moment. "I'm going with you , I need a drink of Voda-Coke"

~

Later that night Mr. Brightside was what got you on your feet and into the crowd.

Mesmerizingly, the fire flares higher and leaves just light trail of smoke behind. Malik and Judy are now singing along loudly with the others.

All these people who so clumsily sing the song about a heartbroken man, as if they would die if they don't do it, carry the same fate with them. They will all wake up tomorrow with a headache and worries about the next day. as it is one day closer to real life.

Some have broken families or parents, complicated friends, grief and draining fear of the future.

Knowing that it was like that but everyone was still singing along motivates you to do it too.

"Here more vodka has to work not taste good" Judy pours more vodak into your cup, but misses more than ends up in it.

Now you just laugh, because why did you thought so long about everything, this night was a good decision.

"I need to dance like I physically need to dance"

She grabs Malik's arm as he pours more beer next to her.

“let’s danceee!"

Lyla stands next to you, grinning and sober, and you both watch her.

"he likes her"

Lyla explains

"I know" you reply.

“That’s fucked up”

She looks a bit worried, as she watches the two of them dance and sing, with her arms crossed

"is that bad? or are you the "dont date my fucking brother" type of girl, please dont be by the way its always a bit-"

Your brain is mush, your tongue works on its own and Lyla obviously didn't like that

"no of course not, i don't care about him or who he dates"

The light from the fire reflected on her skin, she looked like a painting drawn at sunset and you wished you had your camera with you. It would be a shot of a very sad girl, with a lot of repressed feelings that she will never explain to a human soul.

But she didn't have to, because you understand.

You once looked at someone like that, from a distance where these looks were not visible to the person, where they were safe.

Comforting her was your first thought, dumb decision because a drunk person comforting a sober one never works out.

"I'm sure judy likes you back"

Alarm bells could be seen in her eyes.

"shut up you don't know that"

you laugh but it sounds unstable.

“No your right I don’t”

It looked like a lot of fun, everyone singing and drinking away their worries, you just wanted to join the dancing crowd when you see her. Again.

Fast an quickly, just ignore her, act like you didn’t see her.

But your eyes lock with hers and your stomach sinks.

In that moment you wish you could just admit that Ellie will always be a part of your mind. Wherever you are, with whomever, she will always appear In your mind and she will haunt you.

The worst thing is that it was also your fault, you allowed this relationship to be far too deep and perplexed even though you knew that it was becoming too emotional.

Ellie's presence on the other side of the fire, fills you with all those deeply buried feelings, as if she dug them up with her own hands. As if you told her where you buried them.

“I really don't understand you two"

with a snap you arrive back on planet earth.

"what?"

"the both of you. starring at each other, like you're about to run through fire to be just a bit closer. Makes me want to puke" lyla repeats.

Disbelief and vulnerability spreads through your chest and all those lights are too bright, the music is too loud and Ellie is too close.

"It's ok to forgive, we don't even know what happened so be honest, how bad was it?"

brushing all those feelings off, or at least trying to, you turn around and disappear into the darkness.

In a kind of trance you push your way through the many people, a few call after you, and you are sure that you have run into someone. You just didn't notice anything about it.

You stop in front of the many cars. You used to drive with your father to the local supermarket or other short distances, but you're not willing to steal a car.

Your head turns to the right then left, looking for something, anything that will take you away from here.

Cars, skateboards and bicycles.

Without thinking about it, you grab an unchained bike and get on it. The adrenaline in your veins works on its own and has far too much influence on your body.

It took some time to get stable on it, because the tears in your eyes made it difficult to see. Nobody seems to have noticed that you ran away and that you are riding a bike that doesn't belong to you.

The road was pitch black dark.

The warm summer wind wipes your tears away, the bright street lights of the city can be seen in the distance.

You step on the pedals and realize that you have arrived on the local road.

Out of breath, you press your fingers on the brake lever.

Desperately trying to get your lungs to return to normal, mind concentrate on the outline of your shadow that was visible on the floor, because of the street lanterns.

You get off the bike in silence, put it down next to you on the sidewalk and sit down.

The pumping of your veins feels like electricity.

You could still hear a few cars in the background.

You brush away strands of hair from your forehead.

“Fuck” you hear yourself whisper.

The tears were just about to come back when you hear a car turning.

She still drives Joel's old truck.

The vehicle stops in front of your feet and you notice that some of the light green paint has rusted off.

That wasn't the case the last time you saw that thing.

Ellie slams the car door loudly behind her, so she looks back to see if everything is still fine.

The feeling of shame just bubbles out of you and drips onto the floor, as she steps in front of you with even louder steps.

your head lifts up just a bit, to look at her. Her nose is a bit crooked and she's breathing just as fast as you were a few seconds ago, it looks a bit like she was running after you.

“What the fuck are you doing”

Ellie Williams will always come from the far corner of the world and remind you that you will never let go of her.

The effects of the alcohol still had an influence on your brain, so you stay calm.

“calming down"

For a few seconds it's eerily quiet, for a moment you thought Ellie had left again, but the squeaking of her sneakers prove the opposite. Her body settles down next to you.

"You look really stupid, sitting here like that."

You scoff mockingly.

"yes, that's exactly why you're sitting next to me bitch"

"don't fucki-"

"Don’t act so innocent, remember what you said today before you spilled my coffee on my shirt”

Her head turns to you, sweet regret and longing in her moss green eyes. She scans the bike next to you.

"i think i stole that" the embaressment goes up your cheeks.

"yeah totally badass, but we have to bring that back later" she chuckles softly.

The bright beam of light from the lantern above you gives her face an bright tint , like the beach sun always did in the evening.

"sorry... about the coffee, joshua ran into me and-"

"Yes, I know you've said that before"

She drops her head. No idea why she's sitting here, but you don't mind. you just wanted to capture her and keep her close to you, like a butterfly.

"your brother called me" Ellie mentions it so casually that it shocks you to the bone.

He can even call her but not you. After she just sat down, you were as close as ever.

"what did he say"

"He wants us to come visit him."

Her pupils were large, but you assumed it was because she just drove a dark route and not because she was high. She's way too lucid to be high.

"why? and why the both of us?"

Ellie shrugs her shoulders cluelessly

"He said that we would like Florida, that he was getting a new apartment next week and that we should visit him. You didn't tell him anything about me?"

"I haven't told him anything Ellie, we haven't been able to get in touch with him for months"

You can clearly see from her expression that it makes as little sense to her as it does to you, which worries you even more. something is wrong.

You can feel how your hands shaking, you tried to tell yourself that your just cold.

"Alex said that he tried to call you and your parents, but the line never got through, fuck he even reached Joel"

You continue to shake and Ellie gently grabs your shoulder like she has often before, when you were lost in your head, when you were so afraid of roller coasters that you almost vomited or when you cried because Alex moved out 3 years ago.

Ellie's own security was always an anchor for you, when things got too confusing she strengthened you and even though you didn't talk to each other for almost a year, she still decided to tell you that your brother was fine.

That he wants you with him.

Sometimes, on the particularly melancholic nights when loneliness and nostalgia take over, you read Sylvia's poems and it just clicks. That all because this girl with her hair that is way too short and her pants that are way too big and her full lips, her unhealthy obsession with the universe and planets, exists on the same time as you.

“There’s gonna be a explanation or a reason whatever but just calm down for now okay?”

her voice is suppressed but still safe. yes the Ellie Anchor effect, fuck that shit

“Okay yes your right what the fuck”

“Yeah I can be right sometimes”

“ I Doubt that”

Her lips pucker upwards and yours follow suit. you are still too close to each other, it all feels too new and yet too nostalgic.

The old patterns gave your heart a little sting, you quickly shook off her hand on your shoulder. You clear your throat, thanking the universe or whoever there is that it's night.

Otherwise Ellie wouldn't have been able to miss your red cheeks. In your mind you beat yourself up because you still feel this way after everything she did.

"Show me your phone"

Your hand goes protectively to your back trouser pocket. "um no?!"

Ellie Scoffs thinking your joking, but when she sees that you’re serious, she laughs.

"just give it? the fuck do you think im gonna do"

"I don't know"

With a little nudge to your foot, she gives you that look again that shows trust and you give in.

"fine"

It's a little painful for you, this morning you had a mental crisis because of her, now you letting her scroll through your contacts.

"yeah, sorry to disappoint you, but this is not your bros number"

But that must be his.

Your parents gave it to you.

Oh.

"show me" you said firmly, having a really fucked up scenario in your head, about why this is the wrong number.

Ellie takes out her phone and shows you your brother's contact. chats, phone calls, everything is there. the one from this week too.

"this doesn't make any sense, I just- I don't get it"

"Your parents gave you the number?"

You nod, "My mom said, a few Months ago he had to change his number, in the beginning we texted a bit but never really called"

your eyes switch from her phone to yours to check the numbers again and again .

"After a few days, he didn't get in touch at all, with no one. We thought he was just done with his old life." you pronounce the words and your stomach turns.

Ellie's eyes stare thoughtfully at the asgap in front of you. You're helplessly trying to build up eye contact to figure out what you're thinking.

"I think they lied to you… He said something like this could happen" She says it so fucking sure.

You couldn't take in any more and you get up with your eyes are watering "What the fuck are you talking about Ellie" Your voice broke with the trust in your parents, even Ellie looks at you sympathetically.

"Alex said on the phone that he has been trying to reach someone from home for a long time, but it doesn't work. He was so desperate that he even called me and joel. Do you think your parents or your mom-"

you raise your hand to tell her not to finish the sentence. "Why… would they do that?"

She gets up and comes closer to you. "He mentioned that your mother said he shouldn’t call her anymore or you anymore, that even you don't him in your life anymore"

It feels like your whole past is falling apart, all the beautiful moments with your family, you even want the bad memories back.

"Hey"

Ellie's soft fingertips gently touch the back of your hand. Roughness was still there, she hasn`t stopped playing guitar.

"lets run away"

a/n: omg, the chapters are gonna be shorter next time and we’re also on the road PLS STICK W IT

(and reblog😍)

anyways if you’ve come this far ur a real survivor thanks 🫶

@yourelliewillms @bready101 @liasxeatt @darkerstarsstuff @elliezato @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @lovelyxbaby @yalaysbee @macaroni676

[buckyalpine]

Here is a list of things that make me mad in no particular order. Angry ranting. Pls ignore this, I'm just screaming into the void. These example apply to very specific situations I've encountered with people who are perfectly capable of doing better.

People who lack common sense. Social awareness. Common courtesy. Saying "Oh my God, I'd never do that" when they've never been even close to said situation but they're now experts on how they'd act while sitting on their pristine Thoroughbred horse, sipping on English tea with their pink so high it may as well be in their nose.

People who say "Well I wouldn't care if it happened to me" or "I'm just being honest" when you point out something they did/said.

When autocorrect/spellcheck decides it cannot for the life of it figure out what you're trying to spell OR it gives you suggestions for every word under the sun except the one you want. All you did was leave out a single letter with the rest of it spelled perfectly and spellcheck decides to go into a coma. So you fix the mistake and the little squiggly red line goes away. Fuck you.

Gnats. WTF is you're problem. I've Googled this shit cause I want to know why tf you can't just fly straight, why do you have to buzz all over the damn place near my head of all places.

Flies. Same thing as above. Why tf can't you just fly straight. WHY NEAR MY EAR. You have the entire world and you decided my room is the place to be? And now we're both miserable because you keep hitting yourself against the window after noticing your grave mistake. I leave the door wide open but you want to keep body slamming the glass.

Giving me life advice on something you know nothing about.

People who don't love their pets. Yeah, you take care of them but you do it as a chore and then complain about it. Those little fur babies deserve it all, give them the best or don't have pets at all.

Holier than thou attitude.

People who laugh at those who are visibly upset and tell them they're being too sensitive.

Allergies. IDK Why tf my body acts surprised as hell every single spring. It's just fucking pollen. Why are you trying to fight it. Do you understand that in your brilliant plan to try and fight the little evaders you actually make me want to end it all because my nose is itching and my eyes are watering and I can't breathe. Food allergies are another level of bullshit. I'll never forget the day this one girl tells me she wished she had allergies? Like it makes you special, mf what??? She was being serious too.

Thin, straight, fine black hair. Can't do anything with it. It doesn't hold hairstyles, doesn't curly, gets heavy as soon as you use any product and 90% of the time it just looks like Snape cosplay. Ask me how I know

Parents who buy their very young children shoes with laces. This is inconvenient for all of us. why tf would you do this when Velcro exists. Your 4 year old doesn't need laces when they have no clue how to even eat cheese with their crackers, mf why did you buy this shoe for them?!

Bananas. Hate them with a burning passion. The smell. The texture. I hate the peel is left out and about like it isn't making the entire room smell. Don't even get me started on banana breath. (Keep in mind this is not me saying I think they're gross. I wish I liked them because they're a super convenient snack and very healthy)

People who lie and say you can't taste the banana in a smoothie. Yes, I can. You always can. You can have 1000lbs of any fruits and that single banana will still stand out.

People who don't understand mental illness/ act ignorantly to those suffering.

Big companies who ask you to donate to stuff. You're going to use this as a tax write off, stfu.

Inflation.

People who laugh at others for not knowing something. Maybe that thing had 0 relevance to their life. Maybe they learned about that because they were taught something else. Either way, how is it funny.

People who laugh at those learning a new language. You're the fucking worst. They are LEARNING. Let them get used to the pronunciation, let them get accustomed to sentence structures, let them make mistakes without being embarrassed. You're the embarrassing one cackling you're damn ass off while they're trying to do something new. You're discouraging them from wanting to continue because you feel the need to be an asshole.

People who make everything a serious debate/conversation.

People who steal. Not out of necessity but just because they can. I'll never forget overhearing this group of kids in my high school bragging and laughing their asses off over how much candy they stole from other kids. They also stole phones. These were not troubled kids mind you, they were doing this for shits and giggles.

Eczema. So fucking itchy, why can't skin just act right. It feels awful, looks awful and just comes and goes as it pleases.

People who clown you for who you find attractive. Why. If I find this person attractive, what in the ever loving flying fuck does it have to do with you. It's just so unnecessarily rude. I don't even get how its funny or why you find it okay to call someone ugly as if this is something they personally have control over.

I'm going to add more to this list.

[meowufff]

This is my first actual post on Tumblr ever so pls bear with me. Also, English is not my first language so pls excuse any mistakes I make :)

So, this whole thing here started just as a joke bc I was curious if anyone else was feeling constantly tired all day no matter how long I sleep. But it all somehow escalated a bit and I may have started hyperfixating on it so well, now it actually became a little survey.

I also wanted to mention that I only asked the artist in my little Tumblr bubble, which is mostly tmnt content, so my results are mostly referring to tmnt artists.

In total, I asked 143 people if they could remember the last time they woke up and just felt actually rested for more than half of the day.

I probably could have been more specific with my question but again, I did not actually planned to let it become so big. Personally, for me being rested means, having a clear head, no headache or foggy mind without consuming any caffeine.

So out of 143 people, 100 answered me and I tried my best to sort all of the answers after the criteria “good-sleep-schedule” and “bad-sleep-schedule” and also noted when exactly they last felt actually rested into either the last days, weeks, months, years or “???” when they couldn’t remember or didn’t mention anything specific.

And let’s just say… it does not really look good. Out of 100 people, only 18 have an actual good sleep schedule. Out of these 18 people, 13 felt really rested in the last days, 2 in the last weeks, only one person in the last months and 2 in the last years.

Out of the 82 of people who have a bad sleep schedule, 10% lastly felt rested in the last days, 11% in the last weeks, 11% in the last months, 30% in the last years, and 38% couldn’t remember or didn’t specify it.

While reading all your answers I came to realize being sleep deprived is not just bc any of them thought “Oh it would be really neat to stay up till 4 am!” or smth like that.

A lot of the artists who answered me mentioned that they have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep due to stuff like insomnia, chronic pain, other issues, or children (yeah, ok, there was just one who had a child but still).

While analyzing I mostly referred the situations to my own experience with going to sleep or rather not going to sleep...

I usually don’t have problems falling asleep but trouble actually putting my stuff away and going to bed bc I don’t want to end the day or just don’t want to go to sleep (don’t ask why, I have no idea why I am like this). While having these “episodes” I often doodle smth, binge reading some fanfics, or watch whatever I can find on the internet until I’m just falling asleep or can convince myself that it is 3 am and I really should go to bed now.

So, my personal theory about why sleep deprivation is so common among Tumblr artists is not bc they do art all night. My theory is that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep due to insomnia, pain, or other issues are filling the time until they hopefully fall asleep with their art, doodles, writings, or whatever their creative minds can bring up, to help the time pass.

In total that would mean that not all artists are sleep deprived but more that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep do a lot of art or creative stuff in general.

Something I could also imagine is, that if they start doing art while waiting for sleep, they start to concentrate a lot on creating more and start procrastinating sleep even if they actually get tired bc they wanna do art and fuck up their non-existing sleep schedule even more but that could also just be me projecting here.

I know that is probably no kind of big revelation but for me it was kind of surprising to see how many people here are as sleep deprived as me and due to what reasons.

I’m not going to preach to any of you to get that problem solved or smth, I have no right to tell you what to do and would be a major hypocrite so instead I really which everyone to get some kind of good sleep schedule one day and the joy of waking up and feeling completely rested at least thrice per week.

I absolutely love all your art and thank you a thousand times for helping me with this spontaneous survey!

I would love to hear your opinions on my theory and conclusion so pls don’t be shy and feel free to point out any mistakes I may have made or tell me your own theories :D

Also, if my question is still sitting in your inbox, feel free to answer! I’m gonna keep ma big ass excel table so I can edit all the results anytime. And maybe, one day, I'm gonna continue this survey and go into more detail but for now I need to leave it like this.

Ok, that's all I got

BYE!

Thanks to all participants

@abbeyofcyn @angelpuns @beannary @bulbabutt @camilieroart @cementgeek @cheesyescapade @cokowiii @easterartist @frosteaart @gemini-forest @happyfoxx-art @heckitall @hellishgayliath @holy-sweetsour-milk @icepopcider @idiot-mushroom @iscreamkitty @kovalitics @laseralligator @lieutenantbiscute @matchstique @mightyanxiety @miiukkaa @mr-doodles @pezhead @probably-not-a-rutabaga @pumpkster @sad-leon @sassatello @sewercrocodileart @sheep-turtles-and-pizza @signanothername @spectra-bear @stephuart @tangledinink @tapakah0 @tasenwiththerobots @tblsomedoodles @thegunnsara @triona-tribblescore @turrondeluxe @valen-timez @vangh17a @wraenata @zinovi768 @debb987 @dianagj-art @goatedgreen @indieyuugure

[writinandcrying]

TMNT HEADCANON / how the turtles text

A lot can be said from how someone express themselves through texting, so this is just some crack / light headcanons !

Not really based on a single version per say, more that turtles have been deprived of social interaction for the majority of their life and I think texting them would be an very interesting experience lol

Idea based on @avery73 last random turtle post (thanks for being one of our strongest soldiers and writing wonderful pieces 🫡) English is not my first language and I didn’t proofread this, if there is any grammatical erros pls don’t hesitate to tell me!

Mikey

🎢 Single texts

🎢 Just like this

🎢 Loads of it

🎢 You got 60 new messages

🎢 in the past 2 minutes

🎢 Loads of gifs too

🎢 And voice memos

🎢Oh look

🎢6 personality tests links

🎢What do you mean you won’t do it

🎢He needs to know what kind of cupcake you are!!!!

🎢 And music recs

🎢 Your phone won’t stop vibrating

🎢 for the next weeks

🎢 After you meet him (Honestly really annoying unless you have a crush on him)

🎢 For the latinos/latinas; if he EVER finds out about WhatsApp and the stickers. Oh you are so done. If you have an older phone that shit WILL blow up / malfunction for SURE

🎢 uses TONS OF EMOJIS !!!!! 😍😍😝🤪😋🤩AND CAPS AS WELL!!! 🥳😽✌️👅🗣️

🎢Mikey live reaction when you ask if he’s upset that you asked him to tone it down a notch with the texting on a busy day:

🎢 Will lowkey tone it down with the emojis when he finds out some ppl find it cringe, but with his angels cakes ???????? 🫵 YOU BET 🗣️ HE WILL SHOW YOU WITH IT 💋🫦💅🏻🤳🏼💃🏻🕺🏽🙈🦋🌺🧡🌚🌻🔥💥🌟

🎢Will accidentally send you some random ass emoji that wasn’t supposed to be on the context of the text, also the autocorrect is def not his friend

Mikey : how’s it going baby gorila

Mikey: babygirl*

Mikey:

Mikey: I’m sorry

🎢 adds emojis to very contacts in his t-phone:

Leo: Leader of the pack 🐺 🐢 🫡

Donnie: Eistein 📚🧬⚗️ (Raph also shares this name on his t-cell)

Raph: Murderous teddy bear 🧸 🧨

Splinter: Mafia Boss 🪤 (no one knows about this name tho)

April: Chanel N.6 🎤(or World of Apes 🦧 lmao)

Casey: New York Hockey League 🏒

Vern: Some dude (adds 🦅 so he knows it’s Vern and not “some random dude”)

Y/n: angelcakes pookie wookie baby boo boo love of my life !!!!!! 😍🥰👀🧚🏻‍♂️

🎢Mikey live reaction when Raph yells at him to stop flooding the chat, followed by mikey texting him “make me” (they are sitting next to each other):

Donnie

🔭Huge blocks of it in the speed of light. many topics, many questions and also explanations at just one sitting

🔭But won’t hold back on a smart ass short cut response for one his brothers (literally has the sharpest tongue)

🔭Will hardly uses emojis, only when it’s a single text to express an emotion (most current used emojis: 🤓when he does something impressive 💜: for y/n 🙄: when venting about something annoying Leo / Mikey / Raph did)

🔭Will want to discuss random ass problems he has encountered in his projects, in forums online, specially if you ever show interest in debating / doesnt hold back into showing your strong opinions

🔭 Has named their brothers as “Failed Lab Experiments” and managed to color code their messages (has the only t-phone that has this feature)

🔭Donnie creating the most unique and smartass way to charge his phone just cuz he can:

🔭Deadass his reaction when texting his crush 👀:

🔭 Has modified Mikey’s phone so he doesn’t have access to emojis for a whole week after his baby brother decided to spam him “out of no where” (after Donnie won consecutively 10 Mario Kart matches AND ate the last 2 slices of cold pizza)

🔭Result: mikey spammed EVEN MORE and only spoke to EVERYONE by Japanese emojis. Leo and Raph begged demanded that donnie install his emojis back cuz they were DONE with the whole situation

Failed lab experiment N.4: ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ" °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° (♡´౪`♡)

Failed lab experiment N.1: Stop.

Failed lab experiment N.4: ┬┴┬┴┤ᵒᵏ (･_├┬┴┬┴ Failed lab experiment N.4: (;﹏;)

Failed lab experiment N.2: You stupid IDIOT Failed lab experiment N.2: look what you've done now he’s sad

🔭 Donnie also has to deal with his brothers thinking he is their personal Google (he will always answer their questions, even out of spite):

Failed lab experiment N.4: Donnie what’s a Cochlear implant

Successful lab experiment: A small, complex electronic device that can help to provide a sense of sound to a person who is profoundly deaf or severely hard-of-hearing. The implant consists of an external portion that sits behind the ear and a second portion that is surgically placed under the skin.

Failed lab experiment N.4: :0 yikes

Failed lab experiment N.4: Okay thanks!!!!

Successful lab experiment: Stop asking me stuff when you can just Google it.

Failed lab experiment N.4: But I like talking to you 🙀😔

Failed lab experiment N.4: You are my favorite turtle Siri!!! 😉

Successful lab experiment: I’d prefer if I wasn’t... Also, why are you curious about cochlear implants?

Successful lab experiment: Mikey?

Successful lab experiment: Mikey!!!!!

(He still doesn’t know why)

Raph

🥊 Barely uses emojis. Lowkey barely texts? doesn't see the appeal to it, rather prefer to hang out with you 1 on 1 than being far away from you (will never ever admit to it. maybe after 3 years in a relationship)

🥊as a friend: he wont be the one spiking a conversation, but might keep going if he's truly bored (this is prone to happen during daylight / evening when they still can't go out) but will probably be the one to ask to hang out when he needs an outlet and such 🥊*sees messages* eh i'll reply later *completely forgets about it*

🥊 will effortlessly take the most breath-taking pictures of new york during patrol and send it to you 🥊 if you are already his s/o / someone he trusts: will most likely text you to ask about stuff (if you need anything or something he needs from topside) or to diss / vent / gossip about his brothers 🥊 will send embarrassing pictures of his brothers to you cuz he can't deal with that shit alone lmao

🥊 will either be pretty clueless with the most random ass stuff or out of propose just to tease you: y/n: jniasunoakpfa raph: what was that y/n: keyboard smash? raph: how do i do that y/n: just press anything raph: 7 🥊 Raph Live reaction as soon as he realizes he has feelings for you:

🥊 Also Raph Live reaction when he comes to terms with this feelings and has an excuse to ignore Leo (even if he doesnt like texting) just bc he can ignore Leo as he pleases:

Leo

🎏 Perfect texts 🎏 looks like an email/letter sometimes 🎏 to most people: 1 message with divided topics. pretty direct 🎏 when he can't reply right away: "Hello. I'm happy you wrote to me. I try to reply promptly but currently I'm not available at the moment-" Like omg bro RELAX. 🎏 to his s/o: 70% direct, the other 30% likes to send little reminders, either with songs or pretty things she has seen during a patrol with a "thinking of you" message. lowkey romantic when he doesn't even mean to be, def shows how thoughtful he is 🎏 prefers to call you rather than texting. especially if you are dating/has a crush on you he might not even realize why he likes calling you so much, until it hits like a brick that he just wants to hear your voice 🎏Leo when he calls you and doesn't know when to "intervene" / his time to talk back (god forbid he's unpolite and interrupts you):

lowkey him listening to April vent about smth dumb shit Casey did /any human friend venting and he doesnt know how to react lmao 🎏Just like Donnie, has favorite emojis and will only use it in specific situations (this will take time for it to happen, like after years Donnie first invented the t-phone and finally relized he didn't had to be so formal when texting): 🐢 when talking about team work or his brothers / 🪷 for meditating or mindfulness (thinks its peaceful) / 💙 for his boo and his boo only / 😏 only in a relationship, especially when he's feeling scipy (extremely rare for it to happen over text tho)

——————————————————————————

Group chat (more than one reaction)

💚 catching social cues irl can be hard, you are telling me there are hidden social cues in texting too??

💚 “Nah shut up” group, doesn’t care much about it and won’t change their ways: Leo, Raph

💚 Will research about it, will talk to every single human he knows (yes. you. Vern. Casey and April) Needs to know the social cues. NOW: lmao try to guess

💚 Also needs to know, but for meme reasons, he has to say up to date w the terminology/ slangs: another hard guess /j

💚 Oh btw, Donnie totally uses /j /Tw /srs terminology WHILE he texts fast AND huge text blocks. none of his brothers know how he does it

💚Will over use fresh lingo he has learned overhearing humans on patrol, shows, from his humans friends to the point it’s almost unbearable: Mikey 💚Live reaction of Raph and Leo trying to understand when Mikey or Donnie spamming the group chat with their extremely recent memes or hyperfixations:

💚the chat WILL be flooded with things related to their favorite basketball teams, show they want to see or dumbass pictures of their daily lifes, example: Mikey: *has sent an selfie*

Mikey: you know y/n

Mikey:If you’re fortunate enough

Mikey: your internal organs will spend their entire lifespan in absolute darkness

Mikey: but mine?

April: oh boy here we go

Mikey: Hasn’t. 😏😏😏

Y/n: Oh?

Mikey: *send another selfie flexing muscles* you see when you fight crime everyday-

Raph: yeah he shallowed a glow stick

[gggukniverse]

not tired | jjk

title: not tired

pairing: jungkook x female reader

rating/genre: fluff and smut, established relationship au

summary: jungkook helps you sleep on a stressful night.

warnings: anxiety (pretty detailed description of an anxiety attack so pls read carefully), a lot of praising, oral (f. receiving), jungkook is really really sweet.

wordcount: 2.1k

note: okay hiii this is the first story i write here, pls be nice !! also english is not my first language so please excuse any grammar error. i hope you like the story !!!! <3

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this is ridiculous. you've been studying all day non-stop even though jungkook got mad at you for not resting and yet you're feeling as awake as ever. you can see it's already 3am on the digital clock on the nightstand and you don't feel not even a little bit of tiredness in your body.

you can hear jungkook's soft snores against your neck, his arm lazily thrown over your waist and his leg tangled with yours. he's obviously sleeping, he fell asleep almost as soon as you both got into bed, but it's been like 5 hours and you're still staring at the dark ceiling not knowing what to do to be able to fall asleep.

it's not the first time you have trouble falling asleep, but usually you didn't have any problem when jungkook was not working outside the city and could be with you. you know it's because of the stress you've been going through these past few weeks over your finals, you can literally feel the tension in your body, you can't relax because tomorrow you have the last exam of your last year of college.

oh my god, the last exam is tomorrow and you can't sleep. you'll need to feel awake tomorrow for everything to go well and you can't seem to rest. you're gonna fail, the exam is gonna go terribly because you can't sleep.

you suddenly start feeling out of breath, you need air. you need to breathe. walking towards the window seems like the best option now so, as much as you love having your boyfriend curled up to your side, you need to push him away. you start to do it as gently as you can, pulling his arm away from your body as your own arms start to shake with the anxiety building up in your body.

but he notices. his body twitches and he's suddenly opening his eyes, tilting his head a little to look at you.

god, you woke him up. he was resting for tomorrow. he also has a busy schedule tomorrow, that's why you both went to bed early tonight. now his sleep has been interrupted because of you. it's your fault.

you can literally feel your throat closing up, you can't take in any air. you can't breath and your whole body starts to feel numb.

"baby?" jungkook rasps, moving to stand on one elbow so he can see you better through the dark. the little light coming from the window lets you see his worried expression. "baby are you okay?" his eyes are barely open. he must be so tired.

your mouth opens for you to try and tell him you can't breath but your voice doesn't come out. you can't talk and you're starting to feel dizzy with the struggle of trying to breathe. the best you can do is reach for his arm with your hand.

you can see the realization in his face. it's just like a switch turns on inside his brain. jungkook quickly sits up and holds you by your arms to sit you up on the bed right in front of him.

"hey, look at me baby." his voice is calm but you can feel how he's trying is best not to freak out because he knows that's the last thing he should do when you're having an anxiety attack. "breathe with me, okay?" his hands are placed on your arms, softly caressing your skin. "just like how i do it." he takes in a big breath, his shoulders lifting up a little to emphasize the action.

you do your best to follow him but a sob escapes your throat when you can't take a breath because you're hiperventilating.

"slowly baby, you don't need to rush it." jungkook says as soon as he sees you struggling and you nod, closing your eyes for two seconds before looking at him again. "breathe with me." he takes another breath again and exhales, you start to follow, little by little. "so good baby, you're doing so good." he nods with a smile that already makes you feel so much better than breathing. "i'm here, okay? look at me and breathe." he takes a big breath again and you follow, your lungs starting to feel better and your body relaxing again.

when you close your eyes you can feel tears that you didn't even know you had rolling down your cheeks, but jungkook's fingers are quickly wiping them away.

"are you feeling better?" he asks and gives you as much time as you need to steady your breathing before opening your eyes and looking at him again. you nod but it's not enough for him. "words."

"yes." you finally say and he smiles, sighing in relief. "thank you.. so much, really."

"what happened?" he mutters and you suddenly feel so bad because he truly looks tired.

"i- i couldn't sleep, and i have to rest before the exam tomorrow, i'm gonna fail and-" as soon as you start rambling jungkook grabs you by your arms again and shakes you a little.

"baby breathe, okay?" his voice is so soft. you nod and take a few more deep breaths before speaking again, slowly this time.

"i've been trying to sleep for hours but i can't, i can't relax and i need to rest for tomorrow.."

"why didn't you wake me up before?" he pouts a little and you lower your face in embarrassment.

"because i didn't want to bother you, you shouldn't be awake right now." you mutter.

"hey, no no no.. don't worry about me." jungkook quickly replies and slides his hands down your arms to hold your hands. "what can i do for you to get sleepy?" he asks and you shrug.

"i don't know." your voice breaks and you try to play it off since your head is down and jungkook wouldn't be able to see the tears in your eyes. but he knows.

"come here." he lets go of your hands to open his arms.

a little smile appears on your face and you move to straddle his lap and wrap your arms around his neck while he wraps his around your body, keeping you close.

"you're stressed, aren't you?" he mutters and you swallow, closing your eyes and trying not to start crying. "i know.. it's okay baby, you're doing so good." one of his hands starts rubbing your back up and down. "close your eyes."

"they're closed." your voice comes out shaky so he hugs you even tighter.

"do you want me to sing to you?" he says and leaves a sweet kiss on your neck.

"mhm." you nod.

"okay." you can hear his smile on his face and slowly starts to rock back and forth to calm you down.

as soon as he starts singing you can recognize the song. it's one of the songs he wrote for you a while ago. he sounds really tired but you find it impressing how he can still sound so good. his hands keep rubbing your back slowly, actually calming you down.

but by the time he finishes the song you're still awake.

"baby?" he whispers.

"still awake." you mutter and hear him sigh. "koo, you should sleep." your hand goes to his hair, tangling your fingers with it.

"not until you fall asleep." he hums and you chuckle a little.

"you almost fell asleep three times singing.

"i'm okay." the boy insists and you roll your eyes. "c'mon, lay down." he flips you two around to lay you down on the bed.

"what are you-" the words die on your throat when he suddenly puts his lips on yours.

he kisses you really slowly and your whole body relaxes once again, your legs going to wrap around his waist but he quickly pushes them down again, which earns a whine in protest from you.

"stay still." jungkook whispers as his kisses start going down to your neck.

"koo." a little moan escapes your mouth when he sucks a hickey on your neck.

"pretty." he mutters and goes up to your ear. "can i make you feel good, baby?" you shiver when you feel his breath against your ear. "just with my mouth, you only need to lay there." the little bite in your earlobe makes it for you.

you nod and immediately buck your hips up, making jungkook giggle. he helps you getting rid of your pajama shorts along with your panties and lifts your shirt just enough to place little kisses all over your stomach as he positions himself between your legs.

"so pretty.." he repeats and you put your hand on his hair, pushing it away from his face to be able to look at him while he bends one of your legs a little and puts it over his shoulder, starting to leave kisses on your inner thigh too. "close your eyes baby."

with a sigh you let your head fall back on the pillow and close your eyes.

"breathe, okay?" jungkook reminds you again before leaving another kiss on your inner thigh and you hum in response, taking a deep breath and letting it go.

although your breath hitches when you feel his fingers teasing your entrance, only when he starts running them through your folds you notice how embarrassingly wet you are.

"koo please." you whimper and hear a little chuckle from him.

"shhh.. stay quiet." the order only makes you feel hotter.

but you're definitely not quiet when you feel his tongue on you. a loud moan slips through your lips and you tug at his hair unvoluntarily.

"so sweet.." he hums and you tug even harder, but he wraps his hand around your wrist and squeezes. "relax baby." he says and gives your folds a wet kiss.

"sorry.." you whimper as you relax your hand.

"it's okay, you're so good for me."

the praise makes you melt and you let your body fall limp on the bed, trying not to twitch everytime he gives a suck to your clit.

he's slow, really slow to show you that he's doing this so you can relax. your body feelss numb by this point. he knows what he's doing, he knows better than anyone else how sleepy you get after an orgasm.

each time you moan he also hums in response, making the vibrations push you closer to the edge, and each time you buck your hips up he pushes them against the mattress again.

"koo.." a whine escapes your lips when you feel a finger prodding your entrance as his tongue circles your clit.

"can i?"

he said only mouth before but you can't say no when his finger starts being swallowed inside you so you just hum with a nod, whining when he easily slips another finger. you know you're still stretched from the morning before. yes, jungkook likes morning sex.

"fuck..." you sigh when he starts slowly moving his fingers in and out. "mhh.. so good.

the chuckle he lets out makes you clench around his fingers, he takes the opportunity to curl them inside and you cry out his name as your legs twitch from the pleasure.

"there?" he asks as he curls his fingers the same way again, the tips brushing against your sweet spot.

"yes." you moan and bite your lip to try to hide embarrasing sounds.

"like that, baby?" he keeps moving his fingers in the perfect way and gives your clit a little suck right after asking.

"koo.. fuck." your back arches inevitably and your hand tugs at his hair again. "don't stop... please..."

he doesn't stop, he keeps doing exactly what you need and soon after you're clenching around his fingers with a loud moan and trembling legs.

"so good." jungkook praises as he lets you ride your orgasm on his fingers and kisses your clit one last time. "such a good girl."

"koo..." you try to catch your breath and reach out to him with your hand. "come here." you beg and he's quickly hovering on top of you again.

"how are you feeling baby?" he asks and gives you a sweet kiss. you don't care that he tastes like you, you lick his lower lip.

"mhh... tired." you giggle against his lips and he smiles.

"good."

"i feel a little sticky, though." you mutter, making him chuckle.

"wait a second," he gives your lips a last peck. "i'll be back." he gets up from the bed and quickly walks out of the room.

but you don't remember him coming back. you've already fallen asleep.

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A/N: aaaaaahhhh i hope u liked this little story !!! feel free to tell me your thoughts, it would be nice to see a little feedback, it would help me get motivated to keep writing <3 thank u so much for reading. have a nice day 💕

[soiwj]

Late Nights At The Office

Kafka x fem!Reader Office Au

My first time writing pls be gentle <3

English is also not my first language, so please correct me on any spelling mistakes!

Request/Ask here

You sat at your office lazily staring at post-its you stuck to the side of your computer screen. Reminding you of deadline after deadline as you sigh of frustration. Before you can continue wallowing in stress and a soon to be burnout, you hear the familiar sound of glossy louboutins walking past your cubicle. Her red-wine colored hair flowing so elegantly through the air as if immune to the damp office atmosphere.

Kafka, the head supervisor at your company, is one of the only reasons you can keep your head afloat during these stressful periods. Through helping you finish a task or guiding you towards the right solution to a problem, she is always the savior when you're most in need of one. You've always felt a magnetic force pulling you towards her. As if her sultry voice wasn't enough, the way she leans into your shoulder from behind you looking at your work from time to time doesn't help either.

You wanted her. No, craved her. But you can not have her. Not as if you'd have a chance anyway. You're sure theres plenty of pathetic sods out there vying for her affection, not like you'd be the first. As you snap out of your thoughts, your work phone rings. "Hey, could you get me some of that new printer paper?" Your leech of a coworker asks you. It's not that you're against helping someone in need. It's just that you're always the one retrieving stuff for people. Its not like they can't get it themselves. You just yearn to please everyone around you to the point you refuse to say no.

As you walk to the supply room smiling at people you pass by, a tall shape forms itself in your peripheral. "Well, hello, seems we're going the same way. Are you looking for some staplers aswell?" She says with a slight chuckle. Even when asking such a simple question, her voice still has you completely under her spell.

"I- uh no, actually, I'm getting some printer paper for jhon," you say meekly. "Jhon up on floor 5? Why couldn't he come down here himself?" You try to explain yourself, defending your coworker at the same time, stuttering over all your words. Luckily, before your words have the chance to drive the course of your conversation, the supply room door comes in sight. You reach towards the door handle, but Kafka beats you to it, opening the door for you, letting you enter first.

The gentle act makes your heart flutter. You shake your head slightly, trying to rid yourself of the butterflies.

The supply room is very small, no bigger than a small New York apartment bathroom. The tightness of the space making you and kafka stand almost flush against each other. You start looking through the drawers full of random office supplies, and you coincidentally find the staplers kafka was looking for. As you turn around to face her to tell her about your findings, you hear a swift click. The sound of a door locking. You look at kafka standing right behind you near the door, almost looking as shocked as you are.

"Are we..?" You trail on. "...locked in here? Yes, I believe so." Kafka finishes the sentence for you as she examines the door. A look of concern, yet her lips painted with a slight smirk. Too bad you're too concerned with the situation at hand to notice. You try to push against the door with all your might while Kafka just observes in amusement.

Before you cause harm to yourself, Kafka separates you and the door by standing in between. Looking right down at you. "I'm sure someone will come find us soon. How will they continue working without staplers." She says trying to lighten the mood.

You're suddenly hyper-aware of how close your bodies are. Her hips almost touching yours, your chin hovering over her chest. Her lips are not far from your face. The tension might make you combust. Her hand brushes yours as she puts her arm on the wall behind you, achieving a more comfortable stance. All the while, you're anything but. Sweating profusely, your hands feel clammy as you do not dare to look her in the eyes.

"You know... I've always wondered what you'd look like from this angle. Never imagined it'd be in a storage room, but nonetheless, who am I to complain about a gift given to me by the heavens." She says with a very evident smirk plastered on her beautiful face as she looks down at you adoringly.

"What..?"

Still not daring to look up, you question her words, trying to process what she just said. "A cute thing like you shouldn't be so surprised. im sure everyone in this office would love a chance to be here with you right now." She whispers in your ear, the words almost sounding dirty in a way you can not describe.

"I've been watching you lately. Stumbling into the office when your bus is delayed again. Your face crunching up when you're frustrated by whatever Excel document you're working on, your unwavering smile when it's lunchtime, and the local convenience store happens to have those little burritos you enjoy eating.

The only thing I can think of during those small moments is that I want to experience them with you. I want to be the one buying you the snacks that make you smile so brightly. I want to be the one relieving your stress during a tough day. I want to be there with you. I want you."

Your mind blancs trying to muster a response as your head is filled with thousands of different thoughts jumbling together into one big mess. Your cheeks redden faster than you can say stellaron as your eyes start darting around in the room.

"Look at me." She demands softly, yet still sounding endearing. The kind of kindness she only reserves for you.

When she notices you're not planning on looking at her any time soon, she holds your chin and tilts it upwards. Even in this stuffy storage room, Kafka looks just as dazzling as ever. To think a woman like that wants to spend time with you. The thought itself is dizzying.

You notice her leaning closer as your chest comes in contact with hers. She pushes you towards the wall as she puts her leg in between yours. "Dinner tomorrow evening. I'll pick you up at 8." She grins as she takes a step back towards the door hearing you mewl at the loss of contact. She takes a copper key out of her pocket and inserts it into the lock. Opening the door to the storage room. She holds it open for you as you step out, looking flushed as ever. She giggles softly as she walks past you. Brushing against your small frame.

After recollecting yourself in Kafka's absence, you start walking back to your cubicle. You notice there being at least 4 staplers in the room. Enough for everyone to use.

You're excited but strangely terrified for tomorrow.

Requests are open!!

Should i make a part 2?

[mjauqeen]

Lucy's problem pt.2

Hi, guys i know its been a while since I posted the first part and Im sorry for wating this long to post the secnod part but I had school and a lot of exams. Reminder english isnt my first language and this is my second fic so please be gentle, but if you have any advice whit how i can improve and whit what to add pls tell me.

..............................................................................................................................

A week passed since she had her talk with Alexia and she had to admit that how Ona was when she was with her vs when she was with their teammates was in fact a bit different. With her she was more touchy and a bit more cheery and talkative then she was with their teammates but that doesn’t have to mean anything. Maybe Ona was more comfortable with her for some reason.

Lucy still tried to act normal through this week and she was fairly successful but the thing is that every time Alexia saw something she thought was a bit suspicious with how Ona was acting she would nudge Lucy or whisper in her ear. The good thing is, her and Ale have started to hang out more, they went to get coffee together after training almost every day and they were a lot closer now. Alexia was basically the only person she could talk to about her crush and in turn Alexia told her about her new girlfriend Olga.

But whit the beginning of a new week Lucy started to notice that others began shooting her strange looks when she was talking or whispering something with Alexia, especially Mapi and Pina. She tried to talk to them about it but every time they would just brush her off and tell her nothing’s wrong.

She even tried to talk to Ingrid but the Norwegian got really quiet and told her that she can’t say anything and that she was sorry. And while that all was happening, she noticed that Ona started to be a bit distant from her, not a lot but enough for her to notice especially whit how much she paid attention to her. She talked about it with Ale but she was just as confused as her and told her that she will try talking with Mapi about it.

...

Ona knew she wasn’t being fair to Lucy and that she was acting colder towards her now, but she just couldn’t help it. She was being stupid, I mean even the reason that she was acting like this was stupid. She was jealous of Alexia, Alexia her capitan, it was nonsense really but Ona truly couldn’t help it.

Out of nowhere Alexia just got impossibly closer to Lucy and they went to get coffee almost every day, she had tried to do that since she got in Barca. And she was a bit hurt Alexia knew that she had a crush on Lucy, almost every girl that played in the Spanish national team knew that, and still it looked like Alexia had a slight crush on Lucy too. Ona knew that she couldn’t stop Alexia from having feelings towards Lucy but the capitan could have at least told her.

 Mapi and Pina also noticed their sudden closeness so she knows it’s not all in her head. Lucy noticed she was acting strange towards her, or at least it looks like she did whit how many concerned glances she was sending her but Ona really didn’t want to talk to her right now. She thought it was obvious that she liked Lucy but it looks like Lucy inly sees her as a friend.

 Anyway, she planned on ignoring this situation and all the people in it since she really couldn’t handle it right now. From the beginning she knew that there was a big chance that she will get her heart broken but she just wasn’t ready to face that reality just yet. For now, she just planned to start to get away from Lucy and interact whit her capitan as little as physically possible.

...

Alexia was truly confused whit what was happening, Lucy was just confused as her and Mapi was no help since she won’t tell her what’s happening. Mapi in fact told her to either first admit her secret or to figure it out herself. Now the thing is … the only secret she has is her relationship whit Olga, but she doesn’t know how Mapi would know about her relationship and that didn’t seem to have any connection with the problem since Ona was acting colder towards Lucy and especially towards her. But there was no way in hell that Ona was upset about anything connected whit Olga since she doesn’t even know Olga exists.

The real problem in all this was that not only was her best friend acting strangely towards her but Onas’s acting was really starting to get to Lucy and her plan to show Lucy that Ona likes her back was slowly falling in the water and she didn’t know what to do.

She couldn’t fix the problem since she didn’t know what the problem was and no one will tell her, whit every passing day Lucy is starting to look more and more like a kicked puppy and whit their newfound friendship, the new things she knows about her now, Alexia was starting to get really worried.

 In the end the only solution that she could think of was cornering Ona and forcing her to talk to her. Now she isn’t proud of her plan but at this point she didn’t have any other ideas, and like hell will she let this problem stop her from proving to Lucy that Ona liked her and that she’s worth it.

…

 They were having a water break and Alexia decided that now was her best chance to tell Ona to see her later, so she detached herself from Lucys side and went towards Ona.

“Hey Ona”

“… Hi Capitana”

“Listen Ona I don’t want to worry you but could you come talk to me after training?”

Ona hesitated “ Do I have to Alexia?” 

“I’m afraid you do yes”

“Fine then” Ona sighed “I’ll talk to you after training should I just come to the conference room”

 Alexia was starting to get worried now, usually Ona wouldn’t act like this when she just asked to talk to her “Yea sure let’s do it like that.”

 And that’s how three hours later Alexia found herself waiting for Ona to come in the conference room. Speak of the devil just as she thought that the door opened and Ona came thru. 

“So… what do you want to talk about Ale.” The moment Ona said the nickname a grimce apeard on her face and that’s how Alexia figured out that Ona really had a problem and a part of the problem was Alexia.

 “Ona just what’s been happening whit you for the past week. You aren’t talking to me and youre basically avoiding Lucy”The moment she said Lucys name Ona scoffed. 

“Of course you are worried about it” Ona mumbled. 

“Ona what… what are you talking about?” And for some reason that question really seemed to piss Ona off. 

“What I’m talking about??? You have to be kidding do you really have no idea why I’m upset whit you, I admit I can’t be upset whit Lucy it’s not her fault that she doesn’t like me back BUT YOU, well I think I at least have a little right to be upset whit you” Ona was fuming at this point.

 “Ona wha… what are you even talking about.” This was to much Alexia was getting more and more confused and this conversation wasn’t at all going the way she thought it would.

“What I’m talking about is you still getting with Lucy without even telling me even tho you knew that I liked her.” All the anger that Ona had in her body suddenly evaporated and now she was on a verge of crying. “I know I have no authority on telling you who to like or date but you could at least have told me that you liked Lucy… I thought we were friends.” Ona was crying now, her tears slowly sliding down her face as she hiccupped. 

“Carino no no no, of course we are friends and I don’t know where you got that but me and Lucy aren’t dating not even close to it and I don’t like her in that way. I don’t truly I don’t you have to believe me. I wouldn’t do that to you” Alexia was now slightly panicking while trying to gently wipe Onas tears away. She truly didn’t know how she had gotten the idea that her and Lucy were dating but she had to fix this, and she had to fix this now. 

“Really?” Ona said whit all that hope in her eyes and while hiccupping and Alexias heart broke a little. 

“Ona I really am not dating Lucy. I don’t know how you got that idea or if someone told something to you but I wouldn’t lie about this to you. Me and Lucy just got a bit closer and she turned to me about her problem since I’m the only one that know about it”

 “Oh…” Ona didn’t know if she ever felt more embarrassed in her life. She wanted a hole to swallow her whole… but at least Alexia and Lucy aren’t dating. “Ah..um… well do you maybe then think I have a bit of a chance whit her.”

 Alexia was going to strangle herself whit those two… well the problem is finally solved tho “Yes, I do. But Ona you have to talk to her about this, you avoiding her really hurt her and you have to at least apologize and if not explain the whole problem just say you were feeling stressed or something. But Ona you have to say something. Come on sit and well talk about it yea.”

 “Ok… thank you Ale, and I’m sorry” 

“Its ok Onita”

[satlun]

Lust: John Constantine x fem!reader

Genre: smut, nsfw Trigger Warnings: mentioning about religion (a bit idk if I should add it but yeah), swear words, slurs; sl**t, wh**re, unprotected sex, missionary, oral (f!receiving)

You need money and he is lonely.

Author's note: my first time writing performing exorcism guyss (if you know what I mean ><) loll it's quite hard when I have to write in English lol so if it sounds weird please please please don't laugh </3 plus the problem is idk what word I shouldn’t write on tumblr idk if tumblr allows or not allow which word so if it’s weird or I can use another word pls tell me I'm scared that I might be banned lol so in this one shot I use ** to censor a lot (as much as possible I don't wanna be banned! *scream* 😭 it might not sound so smooth so sorry in advance readers!)

Credits: Gif (right) Gif (left)

“You got a lighter?” A sound of woman interrupted John while he was drinking cough suppressant outside a supermarket. He has a cough a lot lately, it doesn't surprised him at all actually since he smokes 30 cigarettes a day since he was 15. “Yeah” He finds the lighter in his suit before giving it to you. You light the cigarette that is now between your lips up. “Thanks” before handing it back to him. The way he dresses up just makes you curious. It is Saturday night and this guy is wearing a suit, full set. “How was your job interview?” Who knows? Maybe there's a company around here has an interview on Saturday. “What?” He turns to face you with confusion in his eyes. Your eyes glance down at his clothes. “A suit... with black boots.” He followed your gaze. “I didn't have an interview.” And this guy wears a suit on a daily basis? That's interesting. He's kinda odd or maybe cool. “Good for you. Companies around here are sucks.” He raised his eyebrows. “I have been interviewed by companies around here for like 13 companies and still not get a job.” Maybe it's your fault. That's what he thought. “It's not my fault.” You just slapped him by words.

He sighs and gives you a goodbye look. “Good luck then.” He said with emotionless face. Does he even have emotions? John walks to the car park nearby where he parked his car earlier. Well, that was a short conversation actually. You think to yourself. “You live around here?!” You shout and run after him with a cigarette on your hand. “Maybe you can recommend me some companies? I really need money!” He still keeps crossing the road without looking at you. “I'm not an office worker.” Yeah definitely because his life doesn't fit it. “Well, then how do you live without any money?” He stops and turns to you. You're like a stalker for him now. “What do you want?” He asked firmly with annoyance in on his face. “A job? Money?” You feel so helpless honestly. You're an unemployed woman at 30. How embarrassing you are. No job means no money and no money means your life is going to be harder. “I can't recommend you that. I'm not an office worker.” Nice sentence to end the conversation. “Too bad.” You said. John continues to walk again. He doesn't even care really. Who even are you? A completely stranger. “You have a girlfriend or something?” What kind of question is this? And to be asked by a stranger? John is confused that he needs to turn his face and look at you. “What?” The way he keeps walking way from you makes me think about him in two ways. First, he has a girlfriend and he is loyal with her so much that he doesn't even talk with other women. Second, he hasn't had a girlfriend and out of touch with women because he looks scared of you? Actually, who wouldn't be scared when a stranger keeps messing with you. “You got a girlfriend?” He answers without any shame. “No” He said as he opened the car door. “Hey wait. Just asking.” He looks at you with emotionless face again. “A man like you shouldn't spend time alone on Saturday night, you know.” What's it about Saturday night? “What do you mean?” There's a car past you both at the moment so you need to shout. “It's a shame!” It was supposed to be a joke. “I don't care.” He gets in the car and closes the door. “Don't you feel lonely sometimes?-” You said before he shutting the door on you but then you don't stop knocking on the window so he just has to roll it down. You start to speak again. “Let's think about it, it's a rainy Saturday night means tomorrow is still a weekend. You have no girlfriend, I have no boyfriend and I also need money. You have a car and maybe you live around here. I can take your loneliness away for a night.” He is about to roll the window up again but you use your hand to stop it. “And you know what, rain can really make us feel lonely. I did a research on it yesterday.” Yeah you actually did a research on it yesterday. He doesn't seem to answer you so you speak again. “You're out of touch with women.” You underestimate him. “I'm not.” He frowned at you. That's rude actually. Out of touch with women? Oh my. “Yes you're. You look at me like I'm a demon and keep walking away from me.” You tossed your cigarette on the wet ground and stomped on it. “Because you're a stranger and the fact that I don't know you at all.” You nod at him and smile sarcastically before leaning on his car. “Sure. I’m [y/n]. 30 years old. Married twice. No children. Just moved here last week and unemployed. You know me now.” Well, you really get on his nerves. “That's not-” you interrupt him immediately. “What do you want to know more about me? I can cook. I can clean. Don't have many hobbies watching movies... baking... and I love writing but most of the time I'm lazy.” You add. “And you're my type.” Well, that quite impress him. Not the fact they he's your type but the fact that you don't even give up after he ghosted you many times earlier.

“You won't give up, will you?” Now you look at him like a puppy, waiting for food. It's start to rain again. John notices the rain that's pouring down on you. “As long as you don't tell me to fuck off.” John smirks and looks away. He hesitates for a moment. It's raining now and maybe it's not that bad to have a woman in his embrace tonight. He never had a girlfriend before but he isn't out of touch with women. He sometimes sleeps with the girls he meet at bars or restaurants around here. They come to his apartment time to time but that's only for one night. He hates commitment and attachment issues. And here you're a bad little girl, standing next to his car begging him to fuck her and give her some money which that's not even a problem for him. He might not have a big house but he can afford you that. “How much?” A big smile formed on your face. “Let's talk about that later.” He didn't say anything except unlock the door as an answer for you. You get in his car and now he drives you to his apartment.

You are standing right in front of his apartment door while he is unlocking the door for you. As he opens the door, you notice there's a spell on the frame of the door. That's kind of new thing for you meanwhile it is something that a guy like him would do. John takes off his black suit and his necktie since they're now soaked with rain. You slowly walk in and observe around. It's big but it's almost like an abandoned apartment. It doesn't matter actually, you just love to observe things because they can tell what kind of person he is. Just like handwriting. Your gaze stop on the many water gallons on the floor which have a christian cross on it. “Well, I wanna know more about your job now.” You look at him while he is washing his face in the bathroom. “An excorsist.” He walks out of the bathroom with soaked face and hair. “You can leave. Most girls do. They're scared.” He says calmly, you can tell that he actually experienced that a lot. An exorcist? Interesting. “But I'm not.” You walk towards him before unbuttoning your shirt, revealing your black lace underwear. “You know... I've never met a guy like you before.” John raises his eyebrows as he keeps his gaze on your face. You’re concentrating on it. “How?” Now you slowly slide your shirt down to the floor. “A spell on the door frame, gallons with chritain cross sign on them and the fact that I've never been fucked by an exorcist.” John’s lips form into a smirk as he looks all over your beautiful body. You notice him that. “Tell me your name. So I can moan the right one...” you start to unbuttoned his white shirt, revealing his toned body. He looks hot in white shirt that is the first thought of him but when there’s nothing on him is just like he puts a spell on you. You're captivated by him. “It's John.” He looks at you while you're busy sliding his shirt down. The curiosity comes across his mind when he thinks about how a woman like you got married twice. You look too good to marry many times actually. He can feel that you’re good at things on bed or stuff like that. “Why did you marry twice?” You raise your eyebrows and answer his question. You don’t mind answering personal to strangers since this is only one night. "The first one was son of a bitch and the second one moaned the wrong name. I divorced him in the next day." He chuckled with your answer. Your sense of humor is something. "Yeah?" It is probably the reason why you asked his name earlier. Even your ex husbands are sucks, he knows that you have a lot of experience about s**x. Of course, husbands and wives thing. "You must have a lot of experience. Don’t embarrass yourself, show me." His hands move to your neck, and over to your hair before he pulls your hair gently so he can see your face clearly. He presses his lips against yours before you interrupt him. "No... I choose to be an innocent today.”

You break the kiss and crawl on to his bed. You play hard to get. It’s more fun when you act like this. Not too essay to read. “Unfortunately, she is possessed by a sinful demon.” John smirks before hovering on top of you and kissing your neck. He nibbles your soft skin gently but sometimes he nibbles harder so you can feel the pain. He loves it. Not too gentle and not too hard. “What kind of sin that is inside you now, beautiful?” He asks as he slides down your trousers away, revealing your black lace underwear. Obviously, you matched it before you going out. How sl**tty you are. “Such a wh**e” he murmurs as he goes down between your legs and spread it. “So I can perform exorcism on you correctly.” His fingers trace down on your folds gently and press it time to time on the spot while he is talking with you. You look at him through your thighs. He does the same, you both gaze locks on each other. He looks… hot that you just want him to eat all over your body right now. You already ready to give up on anything and just give him your body. “Lust” not in a second after hearing your answer, he kisses on your folds through the lace underwear once before using one finger to pull your underwear aside without taking it off. His tongue on your folds feels like heaven. He licks it gently as you moan his name sweetly. He likes hearing John… John… from your mouth. So sweet and delicate. “Did your ex husbands did this to you, huh?” You can’t even form a sentence, sadly. You just keep calling his name. He is naughty you know. After a while, you almost c**m but he doesn’t let you. When he notices that you are about to c**m, he stops. You feel like you’re gonna die, you need more, more of him. Never enough.

John doesn’t let you wait for too long. He stands up before taking his trousers off, showing his d**ck. He crawls and gets on top of you afterwards. Your face is red and sweaty, you’re ready for it. John gives you a passionate kiss once again, biting your upper lip, sucking it until it’s full of his saliva. You groan softly when he kisses you. You don’t talk back you just stay still like a good little girl. “You can’t even say a word.” He said as he grabbed your chin and turn your face to his. “Should I stop again or finally fuck you now. What do you want?” He asks firmly because you look so submissive, quiet and submit. “F**ck me, John...” Your doe eyes tell everything. You want his d**ck so bad, you want to feel it inside you. You want him to fuck you until you can’t even moan. “Not enough. Beg me.” He demanded. “John… please… fuck me. Fill me.” Your hand grabs his big arm as you beg him. He slowly gets up and pull your legs, so your body can get closer to him. He put his d**ck inside you easily because you’re already wet. It’s so obvious that your black lace underwear becomes soaked and sticky. He doesn’t take your underwear off though, he loves when there are still clothes or something on your body, not too naked because it’s boring. “Fuck-” he groaned. His hip moves slow at first and slowly gets faster. He doesn’t want it to be so roughy. He loves it to be soft first and then hard later. “Oh- John…” your back arches like a cat while your hands finding something to squeeze. F**ck with an exorcist feeling like you go to heaven but on earth. “So tight.” He said. It’s like you’re still a v**rgin but the fact is that you have been f**cked by many strangers. You’re the exact definition of a sl**t. He moves faster than before, the sound of your skin being hit by his is so loud. However, that doesn’t seem to stop him, he doesn’t care if anybody is going to hear it. “Don’t pull out, John- fuck!” You moan loudly. “I am not gonna pull out. You’re so good. Fuck…” he doesn’t let go of your legs while his eyes are still on you for the whole time, the way your face starts to be sweaty and red makes him feel like he wants to f**ck you harder. And c**m inside you as well. Soon, your body starts to arch and shake a little while he fills you inside with his c**m. “Fuck-” He doesn’t take it off immediately, he just lets it stay like this for a moment while one of his hand places on your belly and presses it a little. So you could feel his d**ck inside you better. “I can feel it- fuck yes…” you muttered as you looked up at the ceiling. He leans on you and force your face to look at him. “I told you. I’m not out of touch with women. I know how to do with them.” You look at him with doe tearing eyes. It feels so good that you want to cry. You’re totally a good girl beneath him. Never talk back for the whole activity even now. “How much do you want?” You answer immediately as if you already thought about it. “22$” John raises his eyebrows because he thought you were going to ask more than that. “22$?” You nod as he grabs his wallet while his d**ick is still inside you, jiggling inside your p**ssy. He opens his wallet before counting it and then hand it to you. You starts to count. You notice that it's more than that. “28$ for being a good girl.” he leans to give you a kiss on your forehead before pulling it out of you. It’s still soaking. His c**m slowly flowing out of your pretty p**ssy. You slowly get up and kiss his lip while he’s dressing up. The money that he paid you earlier is now in your pocket. You are ready to leave, you don’t wash your p**ssy though. You just wear your underwear anyway because you love how sticky his c**m feels on your folds. It makes you feel good for hours later after this.

He watches you as you’re about to leave. You stop at his dining table and place a tiny paper on it. “What’s that?” “Call me when you feel lonely on a rainy night.” You give him a playful smirk and he does the same. John walks towards you and stands right in front of you closely. “Or crawl back to me when you need money.” He teases. You didn’t say anything just give him a goodbye look in your eyes. You left.

Tonight , rain doesn’t make him feel lonely anymore, I guess.

END

Author's note: I hope it's not cringe guys. That's all I want. 😭

© satlun, 2024 : DO NOT PLAGIARISM OR ANY OTHER WAY OF REPHRASING

[toasty-melons]

Uhm idk if your request are open so i Hope im not bothering you (also Sorry if my english isnt perfect ) i wanted to ask what about maybe ellie x fem!reader where they're Just Friends and ellie Is stressed out cause She doesnt know if Reader likes her back or not so dina being a good friend ( and Sick of ellie complaining about this situation) sets up a truth or dare night with ellie , dina , Jesse and reader and dina dares ellie to kiss reader and tell her how She feels and yk going on like this( its ok if you dont like this or dont want to do It <3)

You guys could never bother me!!! And I actually really love this request! I adore the friends to lovers trope so this is perfect! Also you’re english is really good so no worries, lovely! <3

TW: cursing, mentions of alcohol

I got kind of carried away but i really loved how it turned out, i hope you like it darling!

If you see any grammar errors ignore them pls :)

Just to kiss you

Ellie Williams x Reader

Ellie Williams has never, ever had trouble with the women she had an interest in. She always knew the perfect words to woo a women until they were buckling in the knees and falling to her feet. But you, oh god. You were her biggest weakness. You were so sweet and kind, and so fucking pretty.

So pretty that she usually had to pinch herself to get her stop staring at you.

So kind with the way you spoke to her, always asking if she’s okay and how her day was.

So sweet that you always put your friends first and were always doing nice things for them.

Like right now for example, you had invited her and Dina out to lunch, which you so kindly offered to pay for too. Dina, a sucker for free food, and Ellie, jumping at the chance to spend time with you.

The sun was warm on her skin, but when you had started laughing at one of Ellie’s stupid jokes, she felt like her whole body had lit on fire. God, you were so pretty. Ellie comes back down to Earth when she feels Dina playfully kick her under the table and give her a knowing look. Causing her face to slowly redden at the fact she had been caught being mesmerized by you.. again.

And what Dina does next would cause Ellie to practically combust with nervousness.

“So y/n..” Dina’s voice was cocky and made the hair on the back of Ellie’s neck stand up. You give Dina your full, undivided attention, smiling at her sweetly to let her know you’re listening. “Me, Ellie, and Jesse are hanging out at my place tonight, you wanna go?” Dina glances at Ellie, and her smug smile on grows at the slightly horrified look plastered on her face.

You’re lack of hesitation has Ellie melting in her seat. The way your eyes light up and your smile brightens as you vigorously nod your head yes.

“Yes! I would love too.” You look over at Ellie with that big smile on your face and Ellie can’t help the smile taking over on her own face. Your phone pings and when you check it, a pout of disappointment settles on your pretty lips. You look up at the two girls and your voice is laced with sadness. “I have to go guys, my boss asked me to come in early. But this was so much fun. I’ll see you guys later.” As you’re grabbing your things Dina is telling you when to be at her place and thanking you for lunch. You, of course, say it’s ‘no problem at all’. Dina gives Ellie a glance and motions her head at you, giving her the signal that it’s her turn to thank you.

Ellie quickly rushes to her feet as you’re coming around the table towards her. You reach out to her with open arms and Ellie gladly welcomes your embrace. You squeeze her tight as you usually do, and the way your perfume takes over Ellie’s senses has her knees buckling. “Thank you, y/n.” You giggle and she feels her heart melt at the pretty sound. You whisper back a ‘anytime, Els.’

Once you’re gone Ellie plops back down into her seat and Dina is looking at her with a smug smile and a snark comment already on the tip of her tongue. “Dude.” Ellie can tell by her tone that she’s gonna be relentless. “When, are you guys going to get together?” Ellie’s gaze finally tears away from the seat you had been sitting and glares daggers over at Dina.

“Well let’s see. Probably never. Because she doesn’t like me.” Ellie leans over and places her forehead on the table in defeat. A sad sigh escaping her lips, causing Dina to gently pat her on the back.

“I guess we’ll just have to see.” Ellie can practically hear the evil grin in Dina’s voice and Ellie can only pray that things go perfect tonight.

Ellie’s leg is bouncing as she sits in the middle of Dina’s couch next to Jesse. He nudges her leg with his knee and she breaks eye contact with the wall to look over at him. “You need to chill.” Ellie scoffs at this and rolls her eyes, now focusing on Dina who walks towards her with three beers balanced in her hands. Ellie gladly snatches the alcohol from her hands and not even a moment later is taking a swig.

You would be here any minute now. Ellie can feel her body start to warm up from the drink and it relaxes her a bit. A soft knock at the door has her whipping her head towards it and climbing over the back of the couch to rush over. Jesse scoff as Ellie’s alcohol is accidentally spilled on him, but chooses not to say anything other than a mumbled, ‘chill out.’

Ellie swings the door open and you’re standing there looking slightly up at her with your pretty eyes and a sweet smile gracing your lips.

“Hi.” It’s the only words Ellie can think of. She internally kicks herself for being awkward again. But the way your smile grows and your eyes slightly crinkle makes her stomach flip.

“Hi.” Your voice is sickly sweet and so soft on Ellie’s ears. Ellie finally takes a step back so that you can come in. As you walk past her to greet Dina and Jesse, your perfume washes over Ellie and she has to bite the inside of her lip to keep from audibly moaning and embarrassing herself.

Two hours and beers later has you and Ellie laughing your asses off at anything and everything. Ellie is relaxed so much that she’s able to talk to you with crumbling and placing little touches on your arm and leg without combusting. Of course Jesse and Dina are all too aware of what’s happening, which is what causes the slightly tipsy Dina to start a game of truth or dare.

After silly truths like ‘describe your first kiss,’ or ‘what’s the worst date you’ve ever been on,’ and stupid dares like ‘prank call your ex,’ or ‘swap clothes with the person next to you,’ it’s finally Dina’s turn again. The look in her eyes has Ellie practically shaking with nerves.

You’re all too unaware of it, not tipsy but bordering on the edge. You’re giggling at the way Jesse has been tugging on your shorts he was dared to wear. The way his clothes hang off your body has Ellie screaming internally, wishing that it was her clothes instead.

“Ellie.. truth or dare?.” Dina’s voice is laced with a smugness and Ellie knows no matter what she picks, it won’t be good. You perk up and point at her accusingly, excitedly announcing to the room that, ‘Ellie hasn’t done a dare yet.’ Dina grins wickedly and leans back into the couch, crossing her arms over her chest. “I dare you to kiss y/n.” The rooms falls silent as Dina’s words settle over. A tension slowly rising between everyone.

When Ellie glances over at you, she surprised to find your face completely flushed red and your wide eyes staring back at her. You glance down at her lips and it has Ellie practically foaming at the mouth. Before anyone can say anything the silence is broken by a phone ringing. Jesses curses under his breath and grabs the phone hopping up. How convenient.

“Shit. It’s my work, I gotta answer this.” He bails out of the room and after a few more moments of tense and awkward silence Dina stands up.

“I’m gonna go get another drink.” She leaves the room just as quickly as Jesse did and now it’s just Ellie and you. You and Ellie. Alone. When Ellie looks back over at you you’re not looking anymore and her heart sinks a bit. Not being able to stand the pressure anymore, Ellie stands up next and she feel your eyes on her again.

“I’m gonna.. get some fresh air.” Her voice is mumbled as she rushes out the side door that leads to Dina’s private patio. It’s small but it’s decorated in lights and plants that has a really warm and homey feeling to it. Ellie takes a seat in one of the chairs and places her head in her hands, elbows resting on her knees. Her heart hurts, she had her chance and she blew it. And for a moment, just a moment, Ellie thought you actually wanted to kiss her and it felt so euphoric.

The sound of the side door opening again has Ellie’s head popping up. She’s surprised to find you sitting down quietly next to her. You don’t look at her, not at first. No, at first you fiddle with your fingers, a nervous habit Ellie noticed you had. You thought you looked so silly right now, hell you felt ridiculous still drowning in Jesse’s clothes.

Neither of you say anything for a while, just allowing the silence to embrace both of you. You shift and Ellie glances at you again, and finds you finally looking at her. You break the silence first, clearing your throat quietly. Before you can say anything Ellie groans and rubs her hands over her face, “Fucking Dina.. always causing trouble.” This makes you giggle.

“She has good intentions.. just awful ways to show them.” At this Ellie gives you a sad chuckle. It makes your heart clench and your brows furrow.

“Kissing me would be awful, huh?” Your eyes widen at the realization and you shake your head frantically.

Ellie watches as your face reddens, a look of fear on your face, so scared that you had offended her. “Oh. No, no, no. It wouldn’t be awful it would be amazing- I mean.. oh gosh.” You cover your face and laugh awkwardly at yourself. Ellie is silent, still hanging onto a thread of hope.

“Ellie.. You’re one of my best friends. I really don’t wanna mess up what we have, but..” You uncover your face and chew on your bottom lip.

“But?” Ellie’s voice is so small, so full of hope that it makes you smile shyly.

“But.. I really really like you Els. And know you don’t like me back and i’m sorry if i’ve ever made you uncomfortable with my flirting, but today with the Dina and the dare to kiss me..” Ellie is stunned at your confession. She honestly feels like she’s dreaming. You like her? And you’ve flirted with her? How could she have not noticed?

“Can I kiss you? Not for the dare.. just to kiss you.” You peer up at her through your eyelashes, face full of nerves. You hesitate but you nod. Ellie leans in slowly, so close to your lips but not quite touching.

“Ellie Williams if this is a joke.. it’s the worst one you’ve ever had.” At your whispered words Ellie chuckles softly. Her lips are on yours not a moment later. The kiss isn’t sweet or soft like Ellie expected it to be. Instead your hands are tangled in her hair tugging her closer. Ellie’s hands find your waist to pull you onto her lap. Her fingers rubbing up your hips and thighs. She feels your breath tremble into the kiss and she pulls away.

“Too much?” You breathily laugh at her question and shake your head, placing sweet kisses along her jaw. Ellie is melting into your touch with the way your hands are sliding around down her neck and chest. You mumble a soft, ‘not enough,’ that has Ellie going feral.

Before Ellie can ravish your lips once again the sound of the side door slamming open has both of you looking over, frozen in place with widen eyes. Dina is standing in the doorway, jaw dropped and stunned.

“Oh.. my.. god..” You’re scrambling out of Ellie’s lap, standing up and shyly looking down. A grin is plastered on Ellie’s face and she can’t tear her gaze away from your shy one. “You guys we’re gonna fuck on my patio.” Ellie watches as you tense up at Dina’s accusation and shake your head waving your hands around you frantically.

You stumble over to Dina and grab her hands in yours. “Dinaaaa.” Your voice is whiney and it causes something deep to stir within Ellie. She can only watch as Dina teases you playfully and you protest with more whines of embarrassment.

“Y/n.” You’re whipping your head back at Ellie when she calls for you. Dina takes the hint and bails once again, shutting the door behind her.

“Yeah?” Ellie reaches out, grabbing your hand and pulling you down onto her lap once again. No other words are spoken as she pulls your lips back onto yours. This time the kiss being much softer than before, a vulnerableness laced into it. “Els.. i love you.”

“Fuck.. you have no idea how much i’m in love with you.”

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 6 . Truth

a/n: i think my blood count is running low again so i might not be able to write for a while but idk yet. also my class schedule is literally from 9 am to 7 pm so i don't really know when i'll be able to write 🥲

tags: abuse as the norm, reader doesn't know better. unintentional self-harm(?), hints of power tripping

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

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On doesn’t know how to tell Cale about the things she found out.

Well, it’s not a matter of her hesitating to tell him. There’s no way On would hesitate to tell Cale, someone she has come to see as her parental figure, such important information. Rather, it's the timing of things that made her hesitate every time.

From the moment Cale woke up things have been hectic. There are changes to their schedule and a lot more things to do. Especially now that they managed to capture some of Arm’s members.

With everyone busy running around here and there, On took it upon herself to make sure _____ doesn’t get injured.

The silver kitten can’t fully comprehend why someone would offer their all for other people to the point of being on the brink of death. Saving people is good, but one should not overdo it. After all, being alive is the best thing as Cale had taught her.

Well, Cale is also self-sacrificial but that's On’s headache for another day.

For now, she focuses on limiting the healer to use their healing abilities as much as possible and trying to find the chance to tell Cale the issue.

“Don’t worry, it's dangerous but not dangerous as in you will get hurt dangerous.”

If Cale looked at her funnily then On pretended not to notice. The important thing is she finally managed to tell him that they must talk about _____’s powers. Since the redhead must first go and attend some business, On opted to just give Cale a snippet and continue it after they get back.

And so that night, after having dinner with the cute half-rat half-dwarf Mueller, Cale and On finally had their overdue talk.

Aside from them and the other two children, Choi Han, Beacrox, and Ron are also in the room to listen in. 

“If that’s the case then chances are _____-nim’s healing abilities work like a transfer.”

Silence filled the room at Choi Han’s comment. All of them are thinking about how to confirm such things.

“We can just talk to _____ themself! They’re super nice so I’m sure they’ll tell us.”

“But maybe that will be uncomfortable for little _____”

Raon shut down Hong’s suggestion. However, Cale thinks it’s a good idea.

“It’s not like we have much option, we either ask them directly or sneak around to see evidence while they are using their power.”

And safe to say that Cale wants to choose the less hassle option, asking _____ directly.

After scamming– selling the research remains of the Magic Tower to Toonka and talking to Choi Han, Cale managed to squeeze talking to _____ in his schedule.

While the swordmaster was out to get the healer, Cale felt a sense of dread. He suddenly thought of how _____ never seems to share their story. This makes him think about the chance that maybe the healer is simply unwilling to share the information.

He may be trash but he's not a jerk who will force someone to share their story if it will resurface their trauma.

“So you have no problem telling me? Why haven’t you said anything until now?”

Turns out, _____ is more than okay sharing everything with Cale. They stated that whatever it is Cale needed to know, they are willing to share as long as they know of it.

“It’s because Cale-sunbae has never asked me? They say that if someone of my status shares something personal unprompted then it will be burdensome for the other party. It is also bad to speak unprompted, they said that it’s bad enough that punishment is due when such a misdemeanour is committed.”

Cale Henituse has a pretty good idea as to who that “they” is but he internalizes his anger and decides to focus on the task at hand. He motions for _____ to continue speaking.

“Cale-sunbae, I’m sure you’ve heard of how I got adopted?”

“Yes, what about that story?”

“That story is a lie. Why they lied about it is something I am unsure of.

I was originally from an orphanage. This orphanage is different because they sell gifted children, the children vary from beast children to children with special abilities like me.”

‘Sounds more like a human trafficking scheme, but I can't be sure.’

Cale thought to himself as he listened to _____ talk.

“I have been adopted because the Perduellios were on the verge of going bankrupt. They decided to adopt a child with special abilities so they could maximize the wealth and glory that comes with it. It is also the real reason why I am not affiliated with the Sun God church. However, it is also true that my health would not be able to handle the workload of being a holy maiden”

If _____ is officially affiliated with the church then they would essentially be a property of the church. Minimizing the profits the family can get.

“There’s also the fact that they said I would humiliate the family if I’m not under their supervision- Ah, I’m sorry! I just realized that I’m getting off-track”

“No, continue. I’m quite curious as to how that family raised you.”

Did what Cale said surprised him? Definitely. He is usually someone who does not actively seek out such things as it brings more headaches.

But oh well, _____ is one of his people anyway so it wouldn’t hurt to know about their enemies. Even if the healer isn't aware they are enemies.

“How was I raised? I was raised normally, just like how other people have been. The Perduellios gave me food, clothing, and a roof over my head. I think they were a little strict with me but they said it was because there are so many things I have to learn.”

“Strict how?”

“Instead of tutors and teachers, they used more physical ways to teach me. They said it was a little unconventional but the only way I would learn things fast.

They had a lot of unspoken rules that I had to follow. They said that usually, a child will gradually learn what those rules are as they grow up. However, they opted to punish me for every rule I broke as I am behind my peers.”

‘What a load of bullshit. That’s not normal at all.’

Cale internally sighed before asking what kind of punishment they got. _____ explained that it’s either being whipped or having hot candle wax poured on their skin, whatever the family’s biological child deemed fitting at the moment.

The healer was asked if they figured out what some of those rules were and they said they had.

They are not allowed to speak when not spoken to

They must always answer when spoken to

They must never speak to other nobles as they are a peasant

They are not allowed to have servants and must never ask any servant for help (this was why they never bothered Hans, Ron, and Beacrox)

They are not allowed to go somewhere without guards

They must only take what their adoptive family gives to them

They must refer to their adoptive family as father, mother, and big sister outside, but must call them call them by their noble titles in private

All gifts given to them must go to the family

They are not allowed to refuse to heal anyone, the only exceptions are if it's beyond their capabilities (like chronic illness)

When they heal someone the family must be informed. 

They said that there was more that they did not figure out. However, Cale thinks that all of this is just a bunch of bullshit excuses used to hurt and exploit a child that didn't know better. Then as a result, even as an adult that person still doesn't know any better.

“Human! This is not normal! Little _____ has been deceived by those trash people! You better get revenge on them too!”

Both Cale and Raon are on the same page. Even before the dragon’s comment, Cale was already thinking about what he could do about _____’s family.

However, there was another thing that concerned the redhead.

It was the way _____ was telling the story.

Aside from the usual calmness they had, they were speaking as though it wasn't their story. It was as if they were just relaying the morning news.

To some extent, Cale thinks it's advantageous for the healer to be able to separate themselves from what happened. Even if they aren't aware that what they went through was abuse.

However, it wasn't like that.

It was more like _____ has become detached from things relating to themself.

Cale would even dare say that maybe it's because they are scared to face the hurt and longing they felt.

Not that the man is speaking from experience.

“How come you had no marks on your body? Even at the City of Life the only ones the doctor saw were the wounds you had that day.”

“Ah, that is part of my abilities. Even though I can’t heal myself, my body heals wounds a little faster than average and is incapable of scarring.”

‘This… just how lucky were those bastards that they even had the perfect cover-up?’

While Cale was thinking about how to make the Perduellios disappear from the face of the world, _____ further explained how their healing powers work.

“For my healing abilities, a percentage of my patients' wounds or sickness will transfer onto me. Ah don’t worry as I will only get around 70% of whatever I am healing and it will not be contagious whatever it may be. In return, I can give them some of my vitality. I say I give around 3% of my vitality per patient and then it is multiplied when I transfer it to them.”

Cale swallows the curse words he wants to say. He feels immense frustration at the person who seems to be more concerned at the possibility of Cale thinking they’ll get the entire group sick, and not at the fact that they’re giving their health away to random strangers.

“Uhm you might be thinking that the vitality thing is the reason why I have a weak body but it's not. Apparently, I was just unlucky and happened to have a body this weak.”

Huuuu

The redhead feels as though he will curse a storm if he doesn’t at least sigh.

“Because of how my abilities work, the more severely wounded or sick someone is, the harder it will be for me to heal them. Things like small scratches or common colds would not hurt but more severe wounds might have dire consequences on my body. That’s why I can’t heal severed limbs or terminal illnesses.”

The Medicus proceeds to explain that in theory, they can heal those things. However, it might cost them some part of the same limb or their lifespan as well as some manifestations of the illness.

“Human, let's not make little _____ heal anyone! That power is dangerous for them!”

Cale agrees with the dragon to some extent. But he also thinks that they can still use it as long as it’s in moderation.

“Hmm, I guess in theory I might also be able to revive a dead person once if I get to them right after they die. Though I think I’d have a week left to live if I did that. I haven’t tested it out yet so I’m not sure…”

Cale did not need to know that. There's absolutely no way he'll let this healer revive someone from the dead at the cost of their own life.

“...Don’t. No testing out any of those things. No testing out healing terminally ill people. The same goes for people with severe or paralyzed limbs. Just don’t okay?”

_____ doesn’t quite understand Cale’s requests but agrees nonetheless. The redhead is their benefactor so it would only be right to follow his wishes even if they don't understand why he would make such requests.

What the healer didn’t notice was the way the noble’s face hardened for a second when they were talking about reviving a dead person.

Cale is definitely going to keep a closer eye on them.

Maybe even ask Hillsman to be their personal knight…

No, never mind. _____ already grew up suffocated by the amount of guards they had following them. Cale isn't evil enough to recreate that.

So maybe he'll just make sure the healer doesn't leave his side?

“As for my ancient power, you already know that it’s a water-type power. I can look at someone’s “blood flow” to roughly figure out how strong and what species they are. As to how I accurately know the species of what I'm looking at, the owner of the power tells me. He was also the one who told me to hide my power from everyone. He doesn't speak much, he just tells me what someone is when I ask for it or when he feels like it.

Another thing it does is allow me to sense any living creatures in water. This is as long as we are touching the same water as what happened when I first met Raon Miru-nim.

It also allows me to replenish someone’s energy and stamina. However, I can’t do anything about hunger. Fainting is something I can prevent, but Cale-sunbae’s condition is special as you pass out because of your abilities so I can’t interfere with that. I’m sorry.”

They looked really sorry for not being able to prevent Cale from passing out. A big part of why they can’t interfere is because if they do then they will be breaking the ancient power’s flow of work.

“Last question.”

Cale feels like he knows the answer but he still wants to hear _____’s perspective.

“Why do you still insist on giving your all for people who will never appreciate what you do?”

It’s a foreign question for the healer. Something no one has asked before. 

Something they didn’t even think about.

Even before they were adopted they have always been draining themself for others. The motion of offering themself up to others is as natural as a fish looking for water.

It didn’t matter if they were unloved or unwanted.

In fact, _____ knew in the back of their mind that no one loved them.

“I am both unwanted or unneeded. Then isn’t it only right that I present myself to be used until nothing is left of me?”

That was the conclusion they had come to.

Their life would have no meaning if they didn’t let others use them. Maybe there is, but _____ doesn’t know what could it be. Already so used to their current way of living.

“I understand now.”

That was all that Cale said to _____’s explanation of their powers. He told the healer to go back to their tent and rest.

As soon as it was just him and Raon in the room, Cale roughly rubbed his hands through his face.

Cale summarized in his head that in a way _____'s ability wasn't really healing but more like transferring. They multiply and transfer their vitality to make someone better.

The ability itself was easy to understand. Setting up measures to make sure _____ doesn’t overdo it is also easy.

However, Cale Henituse still feels frustrated.

And he can’t quite fathom why he feels that way.

[unicornjoking1111]

VOID STATE!! (Success story I guess?)

My journey 😄

Hello everyone!! So it's been a long time I posted but my highschool days are over now and took a long break for myself! In this long break I realised I was more into void state than loa! I started my journey of this community when I was in dec 16 2022. Now it's dec 11 2023! And it's going to be one year of me being in this community! I am not gonna lie but I manifested everyone I wanted by using loa and it takes persistence to do so and it was very fun and challenging which I really liked! But as I got intrested into void state I wanted started with method which I really liked and used my own little method to make it comfortable and which made me feel natural!

What is the method?

I used her method by breathing in and out to get me into this floating and calm state and affirm when I want to affirm! After the floating or calm state I started to imagine deeply (which was natural cuz I want it to be comfortable and idk why I started to imagine and proceeded to do so) this method was used in dec 8th. Now today (dec 11) I was in a very sleepy state like damn sleepy and I affirmed to get into the void.

What was my results?

So the results were the same in both dec 8 and 11! On dec 8 when i was affirming I felt like I got sucked in and all my senses were shut which amde my heart race and then suddenly I got back to my original state. On dec 11 the same thing happened but this took very less time cause it wasn't planned and I was in sleepy state so I thought "why not try it out?". The problem here is I get sucked in and get back to my reality so I have to practice on persisting on affirming and not focus on the feeling of getting sucked in. The twist here is both of them happened on the day I woke up (morning) which was really intresting to me cause I usually practiced during on night I just feel my body floating a little that's all! But it was really intresting I almost got into the void state! I believe I almost got into the void state due to the symptoms I have experienced such as everything shut down even my senses cause I couldn't able to hear and stuff and I also felt my brain got shut down a little and today my left brain did something while I got sucked in which idk. But these are the symptoms which I got!

Credits!

@Moonlighth0pe and @voidprincessblog! Moonlight gave me a lot of motivation due to her actual evidence of giving her photos as the evidence proving that the void state is legit and voidprincess for sharing this method!!

I started practicing void state in nov 20th and I see a lot of growth and progress in my journey and people who are also in this journey I would like to tell you is choose a method which feels comfortable and natural for you and do it and also when you wanna do it cause. I wasn't like "I will do it tonight everyday" (which I was before 🤣) but I started to feel when I wanted to do it and did my stuff! I got to say that it was really easy to get into it and I am so proud of myself and you should be to of how much far u have come cause this is a gift for all of us and a privilege to know this and be in this community whether loa, void state or whatever! I wish you all the best and you will be for sure the next success story 😁😁😁

(Sorry if my English is bad cause it's not my language 😅)

If there are any questions regarding this pls do send in the anonymous chat

[mybworlds]

CHAPTER 9

status: ongoing

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: your life is full of 'must'. You live with your overprotective mother who controls every aspect of your life. You have a dream, to write romance novels, but love - real love - you haven't found yet. Your mother has even decided what you must do in your free time: play music. One day, however, when you go to your music teacher's house, you will have an unexpected encounter and from that day on things change…

Masterlist

rating: 18+ explicit (minors, DNI)

Before to start... Thank you for your support, for your likes and reblog, thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️

In this chapter there's a smut moment...

If you like it pls leave a like/comment/reblog it, if you don't like it don't be rude and keep going. Please remember English is not my first language, so please be merciful!

Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner

Since that afternoon, you and Joel have not seen each other again. He wrote you he had to go away for his job to renovate a building in a small town a few miles away.

You took the opportunity to clear your mind about your situation with him and Jack. You don't like being in this position, but you don't know how to get out of it.

On the one hand you wish you could live what you are experiencing with Joel in the light of day, but on the other hand you know you can never do that. You don't know if he wants to or if because of the considerable age difference he wants to show himself in public with you; then there's your mother who, since she's been hanging out with what you now call religious fanatics, has been doing nothing but telling you that you need to get pure to the altar, you need to start attending church, you should go to confession. And then on the other side is Jack. Jack is a good guy, he's polite, he's reserved, he treats you well, and he never pressures you in any way.

This is starting to become too much.

You can't take it anymore.

The easiest thing would be to stop going to Joel's house, stop talking to him, stop seeing him, and probably the constant temptation to be his would cease, but the problem is that you don't want to stop. You don't want to stop seeing him; just the idea makes you sick.

However, you are firmly convinced that you cannot go on like this. You don't want to delude anyone. It's not fair. You've always criticized those who have their foot in the door, and then you of all people find yourself doing it.

At that moment, the phone screen lights up revealing the arrival of a new message.

It's Joel.

" Just finished at the construction site. Shower, dinner and then finally bed. Old enough to work that hard anymore! "

You smile, shaking your head.

" Good evening to u! Tomorrow take a chair and rest, let others do the dirty work ;) "

Your heart is pounding even though you aren't writing anything strange to each other, but it's so good you are afraid to ruin it.

When the notification comes he's writing a new message, you stand there in eager anticipation, then the message appears.

" What have you been doin'? Studied the chords? "

You haven't actually studied anything, but you decide to tell a little lie.

" Yes, but still can't play 'em well. Beyond, I worked, I had to go to church with my mum, she wanted me to go to confession, but made up a sudden shift at work and ran away. "

You then decide to tell him about an additional decision you have been pondering for a few days.

" I read an ad in the newspaper they r looking for a librarian's aide in town. How 'bout if I show up? "

You want his advice; part of you sees this additional job opportunity as a new excuse to run away from home with the hope of putting money aside to get away someday.

His response is not long in coming.

" Can imagine the scene! Be sure to stay out of trouble in my absence. "

That message almost heartens you, gives you strength.

" For the arrangements I'll show you again, no problem. For the new job, you like i'? You'd leave the previous one or is it a second job? "

This message comes soon after.

" It's a second one. Joel the truth is I'd like to leave. Can't stand being here in this situation anymore. "

His reply is even quicker than before.

" I know, honey, I know it's very hard your life. I also know that one day, hope for ya soon, you'll fly away and that day I hope to be with you to tell you I told you you'd make it, to believe in your dreams and hug you before I see you leave. "

Those words surely meant to be an encouragement not to give up, but they hurt. Very badly.

The idea of going away and leaving Joel hurts you even more than you could have imagined.

You don't know what to say to him, you lock the phone's screen and put it on charge. You lie down and stay for a long, long time staring at the streetlight-lit ceiling in the street and think back to the man's words: you want to leave sure, but you never thought about how you would do it in the absence of your loved ones.

The next day, at 5:45 a.m., your mother wakes you to say morning prayer together and then goes to work.

You get back under the covers; your shift at the bar doesn't start until 9:00. You could still sleep, but Joel's words buzz in your head again, so you pick up your phone and find three messages from him.

" Maybe was too direct.

I know it'll happen sooner or later, just trying to get used to the idea myself first.

Didn't want to upset or hurt you. "

He wrote them to you an hour ago probably seeing no response from you.

You breathe deeply and decide to answer him.

" Hope it won't happen too soon. Not tired of everything or everyone. "

It's the truth. You are fine with him, with your three friends. It's your mother and her coven that suffocates you.

The phone vibrates again.

It's him.

" I'll be back tonight, wanna get a beer or smt else? Don't think can wait until our next official meeting. "

Your heart starts beating hard in your chest and you can't fall asleep anymore.

You're about to answer when he writes you again.

" If you can, of course, don't wanna you to fall out the window! "

You immediately reply to him.

" Funny. Tonight my mum goes to church first, then she's on duty. When r u coming? "

You'd like to dare to invite him to your place, but you'd never want your mother to catch you and him hugging or, worse, she'd lock you in a convent and throw away the key starting reciting rosaries for the salvation of your soul.

His answer comes in a few minutes.

" At 5 p.m. finish here, so I plan by 7 p.m. to be home, take a shower and then come get you. I'll take you to a very nice place, not too far from town. I won't get my little girl drunk, I promise. I've to go now or I'll end up texting like a teenager all day. See u tonight. "

You find yourself giggling all excitedly clutching your cell phone to your chest and closing your eyes.

You're looking forward to it.

Evening comes and an atomic bomb seems to have gone off in your room, you don't know what to wear. Finally, you opt for a forest green turtleneck sweater dress, underneath a pair of lined tights and a pair of leather ankle boots with a timid hint of a heel. Over a leather-colored coat to match the ankle boots.

Secretly from your mother you make all these choices and then put your room back in order.

You're exhausted because you did everything to not to be caught; as soon as she leaves, have your hair and makeup done.

In fact, you choose to style your hair with soft waves and makeup with a strand of pencil and lip gloss.

Joel asked for your home address and then texts you he'd be leaving home in no time.

You look at yourself over and over again, you also ask for advice from your friends who call you a sexpot ready to strip. In fact, you told them about what happened between you and Joel, none of them surprised to learn he was your first in the end. All three of them hugged you really hard and said Joel must be really special to have allowed him to do this. You are not frigid, but you never wanted to give yourself away like that. In fact, you always believed that there was the right guy for you somewhere and you just had to be patient and he would eventually come into your life.

Your phone vibrates; Joel is downstairs.

When you come down, you find his SUV in front of your building, but he's there outside at the door: when he sees you his tired face relaxes and then he smiles at you coming towards you. You open the door and in a burst of great enthusiasm you hug him, throwing your arms around his neck, almost running over a passerby.

You hear him chuckle as you bury your head in the crook of his neck and you enjoy his scent of bubble bath and cologne. He dips his head into your hair breathing in your floral scent staying in that position for a while.

"If this is your welcome, I'll leave often," he says in your ear.

You shake your head and then loosen the embrace "Don't even think about it!"

"Did ya miss me that much?" he asks as he looks into your eyes, taking your face in his hands.

You nod with a small smile melting into that sweet, warm hold.

"My sweet baby doll." he says giving you a kiss on the tip of your nose Then he pushes his hands away from your face making room for you to walk alongside him to the SUV.

You can't take your eyes off him, you smile as you get into the car and put on your seat belt.

He smiles at you, then starts the car and you drive away from your address. Only then you take a breath.

He notices because he looks at you and asks, "Was i' so terrible this time?"

You watch him, you like to see him driving, that focused gaze and his brown eyes focused on the road and occasionally turned toward you. You tell him the news about your mother, how dedicated she has been to prayer, you tell him about this second job, but you emphasize that it's not a way of telling him you want to get out of town right away, but you'd like to leave your mother's house as soon as possible, you tell him about your friends and the news of their lives and the advice they are giving you for your work and your life.

"And what did you do at work?" you ask him, rubbing your hands together from the cold.

He tells you about loading and unloading building materials, cutting and sawing bricks, and getting several scratches on his hands and a couple on his arms as well.

"You treated 'em, didn't you?" you ask him in a sweet and somewhat apprehensive tone.

He takes your hand and brings it to his lips in a tender kiss without taking his eyes off the road.

"'S okay. 'm fine." he smiles reassuringly at you "Rather, how much did ya miss me?" he asks you turning a fleeting glance and a small smile.

"So much." you reply, intertwining the fingers of your hand with his. The contact with his warm, thick fingers sends strange tremors throughout your body. You breathe deeply before resuming the word "And how much did you miss me?"

He doesn't answer right away, zigzags his gaze from you to the street, then replies "More than I ever thought I would." your heart skips a beat, you always thought these were corny romcom phrases, but that you'd never hear them or that anyone would ever say them to you.

He looks at you, "You're beautiful," he says, "I love your scent."

"I have it all the time," you reply in a hushed voice.

"I know," he replies, then turns his gaze to you with a smile, "I love everything 'bout ya."

You look at each other for a brief moment since he cannot look away from the road for long, but his words lead you to take his hand and shake it, he reciprocates the shake by intertwining his fingers with yours.

He takes you to a karaoke bar, not exactly the kind of club you'd frequent; however, as long as you are with him any club is fine. Fortunately for both of you, there are not many people who try their hand at singing; therefore, it is a place where you can also talk.

"'M sorry, babe, maybe it's not exactly the place you'd chose to hang out," he apologizes once you sat across from each other at the small square table looking at you with a sad, guilty look.

"It's fine, any place is fine," you reply to him, observing the place with curiosity. You look at the counter in front of the tables, at the club logo to the side, further on at the small stage with a small console and a couple of microphones in case of duets, and then back at the man in front of you.

You feel so lucky to be afforded his company, to observe his sweet deep dark eyes, to bask in his good smell, to be able to return his warm smile.

You decide not to look overly strange in just staring at him, and so you pick up the menu and look at it perplexed, constantly asking Joel for information as you have no idea what you are reading and therefore what you might be getting. Finally, you choose a simple Diet Coke, he smiles shaking his head slightly and then orders a Tequila for him.

"I'm not carrying you tonight!" he mocks your choice by taking your hand in an affectionate gesture.

You shrug your shoulders "I've never had a drink and I confess I'm a little afraid to do so. I sipped some whiskey at your house only."

"Afraid of saying or doing something too much?" he asks you, opening his jacket and revealing a brick-colored turtleneck sweater.

You smile, "Yes, maybe. Wanna play a game?" you propose.

"A game?" he repeats, smiling at you, intrigued by this singular proposal.

"It's called I never have." you raise your hands just slightly above the table "If you have done what I say, then you lower a finger of your hand. If you haven't, you do nothing. Let's play, I have never gone hunting." you begin.

He lowers a finger "I've been there several times, both as a boy and then as an adult. Even a couple of years ago with Tommy." he tells you "Now it's my turn." you see him focused on thinking about something "I've never taught anyone." he confesses.

You look at him surprised "Really?"

He nods "You are my first and only student." he confesses again looking you in the eyes a little guiltily.

You lower a finger "The only one I taught is Helen, my friend. She came to the bar after me." you tell him "At first it was just me and a guy, he was nice one, but" you leave the sentence hanging a bit, then shake your head "I wasn't his type."

He nods "I like this game. So I know you even better."

"Well, that's the goal of the game. I've never celebrated the Fourth of July." you say with a slightly sad look on your face.

"Never?!" he exclaims, lowering his finger "It's always been my favorite time of the summer. When we were kids Tommy and I would go to a pond with our parents and punctually have kayak races." he smiles "I celebrated it until..." his gaze fades and the smile disappears.

"Until when?" you gently urge him.

He sighs, "Until it's all over," he replies, looking up at you.

"Why did it end with her?" you ask him directly.

He blinks and then assumes an almost annoyed expression as if you shouldn't ask him such a question.

"Forgive me," you say as you lower your gaze, "I'd like to get to know you better, but you always seem to have a wall put up between you and others." you continue, looking at him quizzically.

"It's true, I don't like to talk about my past. It's mine alone, and most importantly it doesn't affect my relationship with you at all." he replies.

"I'm glad to know, but I don't want to know because I'm afraid it'll affect our relationship, but only because I want to know everything about you," you tell him looking at him with sad eyes.

"Honey, please- I don't want to. Don't make that request of me." he tells you, laying his hand on yours, but you don't look up at him, you look to the side "Please don't do that. Don't force things too much. They might break." he goes on, squeezing your hand just a little tighter, and you then look up.

"Okay."

You see him almost relax in his chair, then he says, "I never liked dancing or singing."

You smile, softly, but you smile.

"Me neither," you retort without lowering your finger "now, let's see...I never sang at the karaoke bar." you say smiling at him, he smiles back and you notice he doesn't lower his finger.

"Well, now you can." he replies standing up and holding out a hand to you.

"What?!" you ask worriedly.

"You've never sung karaoke." he says, taking your hand and making you stand up almost weightlessly.

"No, no, shhh, no, Joel." you try to stop him without succeeding as he draws the attention of the man there on the stage.

"There's my friend who wants to sing something," Joel says, looking first at the man and then at you.

Damn you.

Well, if you sing, he'll sing too!

The man announces to the small audience in the room of your performance, Joel himself incites the others to clap.

"Well and what are you going to sing for us, love?" the man asks.

You turn your gaze toward Joel and notice that he is glowering - to put it mildly - at the karaoke guy.

"This is a duet, so I need him," you reply, holding Joel back with all your might.

"Cool!" the man exclaims "I want to hear this applause." he incites the small audience to clap again.

"You''ll pay for this." Joel says grudgingly.

"You too." you retort "What do we want to sing?" you ask him.

Joel doesn't answer, so you choose a song from a few years ago, it's a sweet song, no rock stuff or anything like that, you don't want to put yourself or Joel in undue difficulty. You both get out of tune several times, but just look into each other's eyes to smile at each other to help you not take yourselves too seriously.

Your performance thankfully ends three minutes and forty-five seconds later with some timid clapping. You come down holding hands and returning to your seats you both lower a finger. With Joel there was another first time.

A waiter brings you shortly after your orders, which Joel pays for right away; you see Joel intent on drinking his Tequila and so gripped by curiosity you ask him if you can try it. He hesitates, but then hands it to you. You barely take a sip of his drink, but it's too alcoholic for you; you cough, returning the glass to him as he chuckles exclaiming an I told you.

"How can you drink that?" you ask him after a while.

He shrugs his shoulders with a smile, "Now, my turn." he says as he takes another sip of his drink "I've never felt the desire to kiss someone in public like I do now." he confesses as he looks you in the eye.

You support his gaze by lowering a finger "I feel the same way." you say "I just don't know what you might think about it." you add.

"Me? Well, I honestly don't give a damn shit about what they may say about me. I care about you, about what they may say if they see you kissing an old man like me." he tells you, extending a hand, which you immediately take and intertwining his fingers with yours.

"You're not that old, Joel. Stop it!" you exclaim "I told you, I'm almost 30. Can I choose who I want to date? I don't have to ask permission from the guy on stage there or my mother or her religious coven. I need to be okay, and I'm happy with you," you blurt it out.

You see him contemplative, so you try to bring back some good humor asking him if he wants to eat something and this time you'll pay for the food. He suggests you a portion of fried potatoes and onion rings and then a plate of fried rice to share, and you gladly accept.

While you wait, your game continues.

"I have never felt the desire to be younger." he says avoiding your gaze. You don't put your finger down - you don't feel the same - but you realize he's telling you something. You look him in the eye and he continues "I wish I had only been a four or five years older than you, maybe that would have been more acceptable to you." he says with a sad expression.

"Joel, Joel, Joel." you say laying your hands on the sides of his face "Please look me in the eyes." he does, his eyes are so sad "If it was a problem for me, I'd have told you right away."

"'N what would ya have told me?" he asks you.

You get up and approach him with the chair taking his hand which you squeeze between yours "I'd have told you I didn't feel comfortable, uhm maybe-- that for me these eighteen years are many, but the truth is, when I'm with you, I don't think about your or my age at all. I live you as you are. And you are a wonderful person, Joel. When I'm with you, I feel so safe, my heart always beats fast, and I think I was lucky to met you and run into you." you say, brushing your lips on his, a thought takes side in a far corner of your head, maybe you are really in love with him, it's not a crush only.

"Excuse me." a voice brings you back to reality making you jump and then pull away.

A waiter brings you what you requested and this time you pay, even though Joel tried to pay him again but you managed to put him off.

Even a simple gesture as sharing those three plates makes you feel good. You try the onion rings for the first time and you like them, Joel almost claps when you say that dish is good.

"I'm so happy to have you in my life." he tells you when you finished "You brought light into my life." he adds, wrapping your face in his hands and kissing you.

At that moment, the light goes away and you are in the dark. You pull away from his face and squeeze his hand and he returns the squeeze, then a lightning illuminates the dark room and shortly after a thunder echoes in the air.

"I never walked through the rain," Joel says trying to distract you noticing your increased squeeze.

"I've never walked in the rain either," you reply.

"Hey, it's okay." he tells you "You'd like to go to my place waiting for the storm to pass?" he proposes.

At that moment, the light returns and you take it almost as a sign of destiny, you immediately answer him yes; so, you get your stuff and go out. It's not pouring, but it's raining enough. You decide to run in the rain to the SUV and when you're inside you look at each other and notice how wet you both are. You can't help but stare in fascination at his wet face, his soaked hair with raindrops and his clothes equally soaked. It's a tender and funny image at the same time.

He thankfully turns on the warm air so at least part of your hair and clothes dry.

When you arrive in front of his house, there is a flood.

Your hair and clothes drip water profusely, you shudder from the cold once you get inside.

"If you want to take a hot shower, I'll go get you something dry. Sure, it won't be your size, but it's better than having the flu or a cold." he tells you turning on the lights in the hall and for the stairs leading upstairs.

"I don't want to bother you," you say.

"Honey, this is your home." he already told you, but hear it now is different "Feel free to use the bathroom if ya want."

"It doesn't bother you if I go into your bathroom, taking a shower?" you ask him again guardedly.

"No." he replies by taking your face in his hands and placing a kiss on the tip of your nose "Now go and take a shower, I'll have a sweater and pants for ya on my bed." he adds and then disappears.

On his bed? Oh.

When you go upstairs and close the bathroom door behind you, you look around feeling like you're violating Joel's private space, sure he told you to use his bathroom, to take a shower, but you still can't help but feel like an intruder.

You undress completely, leaving your cell phone on a cabinet and taking off all your wet clothes, and then you get into the shower. The jet of hot water hits your icy skin causing you to shake with pleasure mixed with shivers. You can't help but think how much your life has changed in a very short time, the way this man is taking care of you in so many different ways, the way he's making you feel unique and special even though you are not his first and even though you are quite naive for your age.

When you leave, you take a towel and dry yourself.

Then you take your cell phone and go to Joel's room where you find a midnight blue sweater, a pair of gray shorts, and a pair of socks. They are huge compared to your size. However, you slip them on and the result is that the sweater reaches almost mid-thigh just slightly below the shorts and the socks almost to the knee.

You look even smaller than you are.

"My turn," he says, raising his voice to be heard.

"O - okay." you say simply, then you hear the door close and the water jet open.

You bite your lower lip at the thought of Joel in the shower, who knows what he's like in the shower, if he's taking the same pleasure in warming his skin under the hot water, if…

You try to hold back your thoughts about him, and at that moment another lightning rips through the sky, which makes you remember to text your mother. You go to pick up the phone and text her you are sleeping at Gina's tonight and you dinner together. She immediately replies to be careful and lock yourself in. You roll your eyes and after answering with a simple okay, you lock the phone and return to reality.

Joel has just turned off the tap, you clasp your hands, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. Maybe you should have waited for him downstairs, maybe you shouldn't have stayed there in his private space, maybe…. Joel appears with his curly hair tousled, his expression relaxed and wearing a gray T-shirt that clings to his broad chest and wraps around his biceps and a pair of shorts. You look at each other from head to toe and see him swallow.

"Y're so sweet." he tells you after a few moments of silence from both of you.

"Thank you." you say not knowing what to do or say "D' ya feel better after a hot shower?" you add barely sustaining his gaze.

"Yeah." he answers you, but you clearly read in his eyes a desire to want more than just to look at you.

"Joel, um, you didn't have to," you tell him trying to break that moment that is shaking you to the core.

He swallows "Yes, well … don't worry." you see him waver "You'd like … a glass of water, to rest …?"

"I want to be with you," you reply, not letting him complete the possible choices he's offering you.

He looks at you questioningly, raising an eyebrow.

Your heart beats fast, then you add, "I'm not proposing anything. I guess. I mean, I just want to be there for you whether you want to talk or sleep."

He nods, "Okay. Oh, before I forget, your clothes are over there drying."

The idea of being stuck there with him in his house with his clothes on never seemed as good an idea as it does now!

You look at him, "What d' ya want to do?"

He runs a hand through his hair "I just want to sleep, I've been going to bed late for a few nights and waking up at four. Tomorrow is the first day I can get up when I want to." he replies, then looks into your eyes "D' ya wanna sleep with me?"

You already did, sleeping with him. But when it happened you were still two strangers, two people getting to know each other, now you are still getting to know each other it's true, but sleeping next to him, smelling his scent, feeling him so close to you, has a very different meaning.

"Yes," you reply in a whisper, nodding.

You look into each other's eyes for a long moment, then he says as he enters the room "Then I'll give you this T-shirt of mine, I only use it to sleep in." he opens a bedside drawer and hands you a white T-shirt "It's clean." he adds as he looks at you quizzically.

"Thank you." you say taking the T-shirt he's handing you.

"Okay." he replies simply "Um-I'll go get some water downstairs, ya change and if ya want to choose the side of the bed ya want to sleep on." he adds making to leave the room.

"Where do you usually sleep?" you ask him.

"On the left side." he replies.

"Okay, then I'll take the right side," you assert.

He nods "Hurry up, I won't be long." he says and then walks away.

In the process of hearing him get off, you slip off the sweater he lent you and slip on his T-shirt, you have no bra on and you hope he won't notice since he seems to be very tired.

You go around the bed and get under the blankets. Your heart is pounding, you've shared a bed with Joel before, but today it seems so special. He makes you feel good and unique.

You also really appreciate that although he touched you and made you come, he didn't stay while you changed, but gave you some privacy in his private space.

You hear the wood of the stairs creak slightly, then Joel appears in the doorway of the room. He looks cautiously inside, when he realizes you are already lying under the blankets, he enters and closes the door. You see him approach the bed, he gives you a long mute look, then pulls off the blankets and slips in as well.

"G' night." he says to you.

"Good night." you reply.

Outside the thunderstorm continues, you can't sleep: you toss and turn in bed, you think you should allow him to sleep because if he notices you couldn't sleep, he'd probably keep you company or go down on the couch and you don't want him to. It wouldn't be right. You turn to your right side and stare from time to time at the glow that lights up the room, wonder what happened in Joel's past, what destroyed or upset him so much, wonder if you could ever find a way to make him feel better, to help him open up to you, then decide to stop thinking and allow yourself to rest.

The next day, when you wake up, you don't have blankets on you, he surrounds your waist with a mighty arm, and then there is something else to say good morning: his erection is pressed against your buttocks and you feel uncomfortable, you try to move slightly to reduce contact, but his arm holds you even tighter to him, in fact he presses you even harder against him.

You squeeze your eyes shut, that warmth and contact making you shiver.

"Joel?" you call softly, "Joel?" you insist, shaking him gently by the arm and turning toward him so you can see his face. His lips are barely parted, his eyes closed, and a blissful expression on his face. You find yourself thinking for the second time he doesn't look a 47-years-old man at all, but at most a 39 or 40 years-old man. You sigh, sorry to disturb his sleep, but hearing him like this is making you wet in your briefs, you need to create some distance from him "Joel?" you call him again and this time, slowly, he opens his eyes and immediately his dark eyes find yours and he smiles at you "Good morning." you say returning the smile "How did you sleep?" you ask him.

"Fine, g' mornin'." he replies with his voice still half asleep.

You turn with your upper body toward him and behold that tender and tremendously sexy image he's offering you even if unbeknownst to him: his hair completely disheveled, his arm still holding you to him, the bulging veins on his forearm, the still sleepy expression painted on his face.

"How did ya sleep?" he asks, putting his arm behind your head as you turn fully toward him, holding him closer.

"Good." you answer moving a finger along his chest, he places his hand on yours. You feel his heart beating fast against your palm as he wraps his hand around yours and then entwines his fingers with yours.

"I thought I was dreaming," he tells you as he looks at your joined hands.

You smile, "What dream?"

"I thought it was a dream to have ya here with me. In my bed. Close to me." he answers you "I wish ya were always here with me." he adds in a whisper, "Sorry, maybe this is too much." he moves his hand away and gently caresses your face until he runs a hand through your hair and brings your face closer to his.

It's a gentle kiss, so sweet and tender.

You savor his scent, his warmth, his touch, his hand through your hair. Then, his hand rests on your neck without breaking the kiss and slowly goes down to your chest. He almost jumps when he notices you aren't wearing a bra, breaks your kiss and puts his head on the pillow. He looks you in the eye. It's impossible not to realize he'd like to do more, much more.

You look into each other's eyes for a long time, then you do what you already wanted to do last night: you take his hands, noticing in the weak sunlight the cuts, and kiss there where you see the little scars. You see him close his eyes and breathe deeply through his nose, "Joel," you call to him, he opens his eyes again "if I were more experienced, what would you have done?"

"Are ya really asking me 'bout that?" he asks. He's not angry nor disappointed; he seems surprised. You nod, kissing another scar you notice on his left forearm, while his eyes seem to become dark pools.

"Tell me." you invite him to answer without stopping kissing those cuts.

He opens his lips for a second, then closes his eyes and breathes deeply, saying, "I'd undress you and kiss every inch of your body. I'd caress and suck your nipples until you moan my name." hear this shakes you inside "I'd lick your intimacy and gently run two fingers inside you until I get you ready to be fucked," the obscenity of his words would made you blush, but not today; rather, you feel wet and you realize just then you are holding your breath "then I'd fuck you slowly and gently taking all the time in the world to make you come." he adds swallowing.

"Could you, um, teach me?" he moves his head slightly to the side on the pillow "Could you teach me how to make me feel good?" you ask him feeling your cheeks on fire.

"D' ya really want it?" he asks.

You simply nod, not knowing what else to add.

He pounces on your lips as he pushes your head back against the pillow. Your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, when he breaks the kiss you are both breathless. He looks you in the eye, then rests his forehead against yours as you feel one of his hands caressing your bare breasts from under your T-shirt. You groan as you close your eyes, "I love caressing your breasts, they're so soft." he confesses to you, caressing that delicate portion of skin in a languid caress that makes you swallow and then moan softly. He kisses you gently again, then turns on his right side and puts an arm back under your head "I show you." he tells you taking your left hand and bringing it inside your briefs, both of you moaning at the contact with your soaked intimacy, "In time you'll figure out what you like to make you wet and make it easier." he continues in a tone of voice of one who is struggling not to give in to what would have been his true intentions.

"Getting me wet mean I'm getting aroused?" you ask him, becoming even redder in the face.

"Yes." he tells you making his hot breath break against your cheek and making you gasp.

Feel his hand on yours wet with your cum shakes you even more making you throw your head back, "Are you still with me?" he asks you.

You look at his face, see his features distorted with pleasure "Yes." you answer breathlessly.

"All you have to do is touch yourself here." he says, while in the meantime he makes you touch a specific spot of your intimacy that jolts you "Touch yourself. When you feel pressure here," he explains, pulling his hand away from yours for a moment to rest it on your belly, "tell me that I'll help you feel good, okay?"

You nod "Don't leave me." you say, he rests his forehead against your head.

"I won't leave you." he reassures you by kissing one cheek and returning to lay his hand on yours, the room fills with your moans and a few expletives, you try to contain yourself you don't want to look completely desperate, you try to stifle your moans by tightening your lips, but with little result, you involuntarily clench your legs "Honey, y'have to keep them open so you don't hurt yourself." he tells you kissing the corner of your mouth.

"Joel…" you groan "I think I'm going to…" you can't articulate any thoughts, his hand on yours, his breath on your neck, his tender kisses on your earlobe and cheek, his husky voice are enough to bring you already into a world out of the ordinary.

"Are ya already…?" he asks you, looking surprised, but adding nothing more. He makes you take your hand away and he continues, his caress is, like last time, firm and has a much faster pace. You feel yourself in that bubble again, the only thing you can do is squeeze Joel's other hand with one hand and clench the T-shirt he's wearing into a fist as you moan his name.

Shivers of pleasure run through your body. Then, your vision blurs and you close your eyes moaning his name louder and louder feeling your orgasm washes over you.

When the orgasm wanes, you hear him breathing heavily and feel his fingers touch that bundle of nerves gently until pleasure fades away. He kisses your forehead and only then you open your eyes again and find him looking at you, "There you are!" he exclaims with a small smile and making you smile too.

"Am I strange?" you ask him looking into his eye.

"What d' ya mean?"

"Earlier you seemed surprised when I was about to-- Uhm-- " you still have to get used to thinking and saying certain words out loud.

"Coming?" you nod "No, it's your first experiences. It's pretty normal. With time, things will definitely change." he replies.

"Will it be more difficult with time?" you ask him, staying with your hand clasped in his.

"Not difficult, but it'll take a little longer. Then, it also depends on your partner." he explains.

You nod.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks you.

"I'm lucky to have you in my life. You have no idea in how many ways you have saved me, the way you make me feel safe." you answer by bringing your head closer to his neck, he kisses your forehead and rests his head next to yours, he doesn't comment on your words "And what are you thinking about?" you ask him amazed he didn't reply on what you just said.

His face is serious, he remains silent, and it worries you. You squeeze his hand just a little tighter, and he looks up at you as if you want to hear him say what's bothering him.

"I don't know if I'm the right person in your life," you frown and look at him "I mean, I'm much older than you. I've lived everything I had to live, you … you maybe should have had in this bed someone like that little boy you like so much, what's his name? Johnny."

"Never mind his name." you say by sitting on your knees in the middle of the bed turning your gaze toward him "Joel, I'm in this bed with you because I chose to be in this bed with you. It's good for me to be with you. You make me feel important, you make me feel good. When I'm with you, I don't want to be with anyone else," you add.

"Honey," he tells you, stroking your forearm with his fingertips, "I'm fine with you too, but maybe it's not fair you and I went beyond guitar lessons, maybe we should have stayed in our roles, I should never have taken you there to the cabin, I should never have started digging into your life and allowed you into mine and I into yours. I feel guilty for doing that. I feel like this role doesn't belong to me." he says without looking at your face.

"Joel, we're not doing anything illegal, remember?" you tell him, reminding him of a question yourself asked him a long time before "Life is mine and I decide who to share it with." you add and then lean toward him and kiss him, it's a different kiss than before. The rhythm is faster, demanding.

"Baby girl, I'm afraid I'm doing it all wrong with you," he tells you between kisses.

"Sssh shut up." you tell him and then resume kissing him, you take his hands and squeeze them tightly between yours, fingers intertwining. Now yours is a ravenous kiss.

He takes his hands away from yours for a moment and places them on your hips, thrusting you onto him as he too sits in the middle of the bed with you on him. On contact with his arousal you both moan.

You run your hands through his mussed hair as you both find yourselves breathlessly facing each other.

"D' you still think you are making a mistake with me?" you ask him.

"Yes." he replies feebly.

You dare, you don't know if you will make a mistake, if he will like it, if it will bother him, but you dare.

You kiss him gently on his lips, then leave light kisses along his jaw line feeling the unmade beard pinch against your lips, then go down slowly along his neck and feel him hold his breath.

"Does it bother you?" you ask him inhaling his scent closing your eyes for a moment.

"No, you're a natural, little girl," he replies holding his breath.

"What can I do to change your mind, Joel?" you ask him taking the reverse route.

"You're playing with fire, baby girl." he replies without really answering you by clasping his hands on your hips just a little tighter.

Your skin is covered with shivers, you clench in your shoulders not to show him the power he has over you even though you are in charge right now and especially not to blush at this sort of threat from him. You don't know exactly what the next move is, but you don't want Joel to leave you, you don't want what has been created between you to be broken and for each of you to return to your own lives. Right now go back to that life, to that useless monotonous life, you had it hurts you.

"Since I met you" you tell him giving him a lip-smacking kiss "my life has finally made sense." you go on giving him another one "Please" you say giving him another kiss "don't leave me." you add giving him another kiss and this time he captures your lips between his. He kisses you, wrapping you completely in his arms and pressing your torso even more against his. You wish this kiss would not end or, rather, would lead to the next step, but he stops. His eyes are glazed over, his lips swollen with kisses and his breath short.

"Y're beautiful." he says, gently stroking the back of your neck and running a hand through your hair. If only you were more experienced and Joel a more selfish man, he would have released his erection, removed your briefs and fucked you properly, but Joel is not like that.

"Don't be afraid, Joel. I'm not. If I'm with you," you tell him stroking his cheeks gently.

You see him close his eyes and tighten his lips, then he sighs heavily and looks into your eyes "I wanted to show you something last night, well-- it was supposed to be a surprise, but the storm messed things up a bit." he tells you still giving your hips a gentle squeeze and then motioning for you to move "Wait here. It's a surprise. When I tell you, close your eyes, okay?" he says as he leaves the room.

You are out of breath, wishing for more, but maybe that's enough for now.

Now all you can do is wait for his surprise.

[dozing-marshmallow]

Hi! I love your writing, I was wondering if I could request some headcanons for Alejandro × fem! reader who is latina (Argentinian) and is on her period? (btw could you also make Alejandro latino pls)

YOU KNOWWW I was actually planning on writing reader being on period headcanons for a couple TDI characters, but I wasn’t sure how to do it. Think this request is a starting sign to move forward with that ;) 

Thank you for the request and your love for my work!! Enjoy 💗 

ALEJANDRO X ARGENTINEAN! READER ON PERIOD HEADCANONS

It’s actually so much fun having a partner that shared similar cultures to you.

You had someone to randomly switch from English to Spanish with, someone whom your parents absolutely adored, someone you could relate to.

When that week of the month comes for your uterus lining to splatter down, you’re understandably not in the greatest mood and Alejandro could tell.

“Hijo de puta...” Your cries get coughed up, onto Alejandro’s grey jeans,“Why does this have to hurt so muuuch? I can’t function properly! I can’t fuuuunction!”

“Poor niña.” Alejandro sympathises, patting your head that slammed on his lap like a pillow,“Would you give me the honour of cooking you a delicacy to cheer you up? Perhaps asado?”

“A barbecue today...?” you stir around to see his flawless face with your puffy eyes,“I...I don’t think we have any meat...”

“No problem. I’ll simply go to the Latin market. Perhaps you’d like to assist me? Please don’t feel obliged to, if you prefer to stay here.” His voice was too handsome.

A part of you wanted to stay inside because you weren’t motivated to go outside when you felt like a hideous pig and your tummy feeling that someone was savagely putting a chainsaw through and through over and over.

On the other hand, you didn’t want to be alone, and someone needed to drive the girls away.

So you stand up, flinching at the sudden leak warming between your legs and nod,”Vamos.”

I can see Alejandro always using the formal “usted” to refer to you for some reason. 

Example, when you do get to the Latin Market, you head immediately to the sweets aisle where Alejandro had to chase you from the meat section.

“¿Usted tiene una paladar dulce?” (Do you have a sweet tooth?) he grinned after seeing you claw in your cravings for chocolate, sweets.

It never pissed you off so much until today,“Alejandroooo, can you stop being so formal for once? We’ve known each other long enough.”

He puts a hand to his chest. Here we go,“But I fear there is a difference between the time of knowing someone to how you know someone. You’ve known someone like Heather for a long time, but would you say you’re in a close-“

Nope nope nope nope nope,“Point made.” you then realise something,“...Are you basically saying how you view me is how I view Heather?”

“Mi amor, ¡claro que no!” Alejandro’s light emerald eyes bolted like a second,“That was just to distinguish the difference. All I’m saying is that I personally haven’t felt that I have earned the right to refer to you to something so intimate.”

You scoff. Periods really do make you feel weird,“Oh, get real, Alejandro. It’s just an excuse, I don’t care. You probably say that to any other chick whenever I’m not around.”

His dumbfounded brain could only thrive more through his tongue,“My dear, you don’t think of me as that shameless, I hope not! It would be against nature to even make attempt to displace your rightful place en mi corazón.“ he then takes a proper look at your specific choice of sweets in its yellow wrapping,“Havanna alfajores? What extravagant taste. ¿Quieres que te lo compre?”(Do you want me to buy it for you?)

Now see, that pissed you off even more. Because why did you need to tell him that it’s only logical to use the informal “you” for him to start using it?

Oh you don’t have the energy to properly confront him,“I’ll only let you buy these for me if you drop the usted. I’m sick of it. So sick of it.”

“It’s a deal.” he smirked, adding a bottle of Malbec to the basket.

As soon as he bought everything, you rip open a packet of Havanna alfajores and shove it whole in your mouth. Already you felt so much better. So much better, you could cry again. Alejandro laughs sweetly.

“Don’t you want one?” you ask him.

He shakes his head,“Please, they are your sweets. They’re for you. You deserve them for remaining strong in something only as I as a man can treat with dignity.”

Okay, that one got your face feeling as intense as your cramps,“...As long as you’re happy too.”

Of course those bloodsucking slices had to stick deeper just as soon as you expressed some solicitude to another human being.

“Ohh Alejandro... “ you moan, crunching the wrapping in your first, you rocked your head against him,“I wanna go home now. Now. Get me out here, please...”

“Your word is my command.” he transfers the plastic bags to one hand,“Would you prefer I carry you?”

Through a fit of moans and swirling discomfort, you did have the barbecue and played all kinds of Latin music to the grilling and steaming. You would have had a dance if your uterus wasn’t chewing you alive in sync.

You almost cried, but Alejandro soothed you. Let yourself rest, mi amor! It is nothing to see the sorrow in your eyes like that!

You were still pissed at yourself for having this bodily whatever, but you had to concur, that you’d have the rest of the other days of the month to get up and dance.

As true love suggests.