#plus some good au concepts i should bring back

[writingbyshiloh]

Vampire AU headcanons for the Marquis de Gramont

CW: 18+ for the smut part, Vampires, blood, blood drinking, a brief reference to sex in a mirror, slightly obsessive Vincent, slight NSFW content (but there is a warning before it too), (minor)Vincent blames the reader for drinking their blood, GN! Reader  I read it for grammar but we all know how that goes

Summary: Hcs about the Marquis du Gramont in a vampire AU. 

AN: I had the BIGGEST crush on Angel from Buffy so anything vampire is a yes from me. I wanted this to be headcanons with a few blurbs sprinkled about. Not sure what it turned out to be, but it's long and I feel like I focused more on the vampire than MVdG. Also thinking of doing vamp!reader and hunter!MVdG. If you don't like this concept it is okay just don't read

Being a vampire hunter is your life, and not to toot your horn but you're fairly good at spotting them, luring them into a secluded place and then killing him 

That's how you first spot him. 

A friend gave you a spare ticket to a ballet she's in, you dress up and go to support her. It’s good to balance normal things and monster hunting. 

The audience is small, spread out in the large theatre. She told you it's a special performance, for benefactors and close family/friends

You go to the bathroom during intermission, but end up bumping into him

Tall, dark hair, a pale face and handsome, his dark suit sparkling under the lights.

It takes a few minutes for you to realize that his a vampire, you’re more so used to the newer ones, drunk on immortal life mostly in night clubs. 

He's a gentleman though, oozing manners. If you had to guess he’s a couple of hundred years old 

You extend your hand to him for a handshake and tell him your name. He repeats in a soft French accent. Slender fingers cup your own as he brings your hand to his lips, gently placing a kiss on the back of your hand. You’re embarrassed by how fast your mind goes to all the other places you want to feel his lips. The lights flash above the both of you, a silent reminder that the show will continue. As you make your way back to your seat, half of you hopes that you'll see him again, and the other hopes you never do,

Turns out you don’t have to wait that long before seeing him again. You want to go back to congratulate your friend, tell her how great she was etc. He sees you and “accidentally” bumps into you backstage. Every part of your brain tells you to run, fight, and get away but you don't. You want to know him. 

He asks if he can see you again and you tell him to meet you at the Louvre. It’s a public place which makes you feel safer, 

Tells you to meet him during the night. You’re not sure how he gets this kind of access to places like this, he's loaded with money, he has to be to rent out a place like this overnight 

He tells you about the paintings, pointing out details and societal context that would have been important (almost like he was there during that period hmmm)

And you really should not be alone with a vampire in the museum, and if you were you should take the time to kill him 

But something keeps causing you to trust him. Plus you have fighting experience and he doesn’t even look like he gets his hands dirty, You'll be fine? Right? You can protect yourself 

(you can't)

He tells you that you should go to his estate, he has a private art collection, which he thinks would suit your tastes more 

(Don’t go to his house, you will not make it out the same)

You protest, not wanting to be in a house with a vampire, he tells you to come during the day if it makes you feel safer 

It almost feels like a joke when he says it

So you do

He leads the tour of his house but remains fully in the shadows. As long as you’re in the sunlight you'll be fine

The tour ends with his private art collection, you notice a theme of blood, eroticism, murder, and cannibalism. 

(He has some portraits of him done over the centuries there too)

You’re so caught up with looking at the paintings of him over time (and how he never ages). Most vampires try to hide what they are, especially with a slayer BUT he's not. He knows what you are and knows that you know what he is

As you admire the paintings, he takes the opportunity to shut the blinds, the gold chandeliers casting light and shadows over his face, making his face look more angular, teeth look sharper etc etc 

You’re looking at the painting while he looks at you, and your exposed neck

You’re not making it out unbitten HAHA

Only let's get into a few NSFW ones which lead into a whole other rambling

Neck kissing, hickeys, you name it

He's trying SO SO SO HARD not to bite you but can't resist some indulgences, trying to satisfy the craving by feeling your pulse points with his lips

This goes hand in hand w the classic vampire who can’t drink the blood of a loved one because of they do they won't stop 

Eventually, EVENTUALLY he does drink your blood and you both do get into it, but you also lose a lot of blood. His fangs hurt, like a strong pinch but it also feels really good. He can’t stop drinking until he notices that your cries of pleasure are now cries of pain, you’re getting too weak and are feeling sick.

This pulls him out of it, and the last thing you remember is his arms around you and his pale face coveted in your blood 

He's so upset that you tempted him into this (it’s still Vincent c’mon), and let him give into the vampiric urges 

Would bring you to some medical person in his estate and leave (even though it's his house)

You wake up dazed and confused (unsure if it was a dream but two bite marks on your neck prove it was real) and you KNOW that you NEED to get out of there 

You’re able to escape, but he’s not going to let you go that easily. 

Okay one more NSFW idea

As prev noted vampires don’t show up in mirrors 

And you can feel his, see his hands on you. He's sitting behind you, hands snaking down your body, but you can't see him in the mirror. 

You’re literally holding onto his arm but when you glance down you can see his hand but in the mirror, you holding onto nothing 

You end up having a lot of sex in mirrors, and he never stops enjoying how surprised it makes you

[dayseedrawz2]

I was drawing human Pomni concepts when i came up with an AU idea...

(IM MAKING ANOTHER SHOWTIME AU AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME-)

The Rescue Mission AU!!

Basically, Pomni finds a way out of the circus and is now trying to find a way to bring back the others and rule out CnA as a company for good!

This was heavily inspired by me having watched a lot more spongebob lately so Pom, Caine, and Voz have a sort of Plankton Karen and SpongeBob Dynamic in this AU

Pomni

Pomni has somehow managed to escape her digital cell! But she feels a bit bad for being to only one able to.

Plus, it does get pretty lonely in the office sometimes...

So she's made it her mission to try and bring the others back! Except it wouldn't be easy to bring back everyone...

She may have to do some digging...

(Also, like I said, I got huge Inspo from Plankton and Karen, so she's a robot engineer now-)

Voz

(Or as long-time viewers of this page know him, my showtime fankid. Yes, he has somehow made it into all my AU's now)

Voz is Pomni's test project for her attempts at bringing the others back.

He also acts as an assistant for her, aiding in other workings.

He takes the resemblance of a small child so that he doesn't seem too out of place.

Even if Pomni's boss were to find out he existed...

Caine

(Caine's lore is sorta inspired by my old Human Caine AU blog that is now the Ring-Misstress Caine blog! If you haven't checked it or Pomni's out, you should!)

Soon after her successful escape, Pomni found out she could talk to Caine through her computer and keep in contact with the others!

Upon hearing her plan, Caine was extremely ecstatic and offered to help.

After some time, they found out that the only reason Caine couldn't escape was because he had sold himself to the company and therefore became the AI he is. He was bound by contract.

This, of course, only made Pomni's resentment towards CnA grow. If only she could find a way to free him too. She couldn't let him be trapped alone forever!

Also, it'd be nice to see him in person again...

And that's all I have for the lore right now!

I will be following up with some concept art

dumps. Feel free to ask any questions!

[noodyl-blasstal]

Walk this Fae

Day 20 of @taznovembercelebration! Today's prompt card was "fae AU" (FaeU) and I drew another card for fun and got "sweet"

Read below or on Ao3. Missed yesterday's? Find it here.

-

Kravitz fills the dish with a few chocolates and questions, yet again, whether this was rock bottom.

The break up hadn’t been unexpected, per say, Cyrus had been drifting further away and things had felt heavy and weird for a while. Not that they ever felt particularly good, but Cyrus was there and things were fine and then they weren’t. He wasn’t sad about it per say, hadn’t even really cried apart from quick self-pitying one in the shower. But feeling fine about the split didn’t change the fact he’d said he was bringing a plus one to the awards ceremony and he’d definitely said ‘he’ when talking about his boyfriend so he couldn’t really bring Sloane unless he fancied trying to explain the concept of a he/him lesbian to his immediate and very distant coworkers and then also explain why he, Definitely A Man, was dating said he/him lesbian. The prospect sounds deeply unappealing so he turned Sloane down, even though she ‘generously’ offered to wear a tux for the occasion (she’d find any excuse, honestly).

At some point in the thought spiral about the whole mess of it, he decided the best and most logical option was to turn to folklore. He wasn’t going to do anything insane like hiring a date, obviously, so he had to find another solution. This one is simple. He just has to leave the dish out for a final night now and then he can up the ante. It was supposed to be cream, but, well, that seemed unhygienic and he didn’t know if Themselves understood about clingfilm, so he’d been leaving a few Lindt chocolates instead. They were basically just solidified cream if you thought about it. He also didn’t have a back door so he’d been leaving them outside the front door, but you know, they were going, so it was probably working.

Now there were just two more weeks left and he was going to be at the point where he could have a conversation! Probably? Either way it was unequivocally easier than attempting to do dating ever again. Deals with Themselves have rules, there’s a clear path, it’s all laid out in the book and you can cross reference! Kravitz loves to cross reference. It’s simple, the offerings increase until a time when one of Them will be prepared to make a deal with you, usually related to Cornish Fairings as far as he can tell, but they can negotiate biscuit preferences closer to the time, he’ll buy a few packets of different things and they can taste test. Maybe he can make it a fun thing? The fae can rate the best dunkers and see if he agrees with Kravitz’s preferences. There’s no reason a business deal has to be dull.

–

The chocolate is gone the next morning, and there’s a note! “Thanks, T xoxo” is scribbled on the back of a receipt. Kravitz has no idea why a fae lord needs to buy cat litter and dark chocolate - maybe he found it? But he’s happy to take it as an auspicious sign. He just needs to figure out his next steps. Probably leaving the door open to tempt the fae in? No, not tempt, that sounds creepy, invite! That was better. Invite them in.

Kravitz surveys his efforts, the door is propped slightly open, (he tries not to feel weird about that, it’s fine, he can break the ‘always lock your door’ advice that his Mums gave him for something this important) but it doesn’t look as inviting as it should. Even the string of lights he added just look a bit ominous.

He can fix this. More snacks inside! The sign’s not subtle, but it should do the job.

–

“Knock knock!” Comes a lilting voice.

Shit. It’s happening! Yes! “Come in!” Kravitz tries to keep his voice even.

“Are you going to serial kill cha’boy?”

“No?”

“Are you asking or telling?”

“Telling! I’m not going to murder you.”

“Cool!” The voice says, and there’s a swishing jangling step as someone approaches.

Kravitz squeezes his eyes shut, he’s got to stay calm. He can’t eat any food or drink anything he’s offered. Oh! Thinking of drink, he quickly pours the water into the teapot and sets the timer. He knew keeping the pan at a boil would be sensible.

“Oh, hey Krav!” Taako appears in the doorway. “I didn’t know this one was you.” “Is this some kind of trickery thing?” Kravitz asks in the most even voice he can manage. Maybe this is what they do, appear wearing the face of something you desire.

“What? You invited me in.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You said there was more snacks inside?”

“That wasn’t for you… wait… have you been?”

“It’s a long way up the stairs. Cha’boy thought you were leaving snacks for sustenance while the lift’s out.”

Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no!

“You’ve been eating the offerings?”

“What?”

“For Themselves!”

“You’ve been leaving offerings for the fae?”

“Just to get one in here. You’re the one who’s been eating random door chocolates!”

“Hold on, you’ve been trying to fuck a fairy?”

“Don’t call Them fairies! You know They don’t like it.”

“You’re not denying the ‘fucking one’ bit of that accusation.”

“It’s for a work thing!”

“What do you do?”

“No, it’s not like… shit.” Kravitz wonders exactly how hard it is to disappear. He doesn’t really want to cut up his bank card and throw his phone into the sea, but he’ll do it if it means he gets to stop having this conversation.” He settles for flopping into a seat at the kitchen table.

Taako perches on the one opposite him. Maybe he is fae, he’s certainly ethereal enough for it with his colourful clothes and his layers and his cheekbones and his ass. Wait. Not the last bit, fuck. This isn’t about Kravitz’s stupid pointless neighbour crush.

“Wait, did you make these?” Taako tugs one of the biscuit rating cards towards himself.

“Give that back!” Kravitz snatches it out of his hand. He doesn’t need to be mocked any more. He’s going to be reliving this every time he wakes up at 3am for the rest of his life, there’s no need to prolong it or add dimension to the torture.

Taako grabs the other sheet and reads it as if nothing happened. “Big fan of the rubric.”

“What?” Is Taako complimenting his biscuit criteria right now?

“It’s important, durability but also mushiness, they’re two separate things.”

“Yes.” Says Kravitz stiffly. He’s scared to lean too far into the conversation, worried it’s a trap. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had pretended to be interested in what he was saying to flip it back on him later.

“Did you make the tea already?”

“It’s brewing. There’s a timer.” If he doesn’t say too much he probably can’t make this situation worse. It could even be salvageable if they promise never ever ever to speak abot it again.

“Mmmhmm.” Taako drops his usually casual demeanour. “Would you like cha’boy to go? Taako doesn’t like to outstay his welcome.”

“No!” Kravitz says it fast and panicked. He’s not sure why. If Taako goes he can sit on the floor very still and very quiet and think about how exactly which lie to tell about why he can’t come and get the biggest award of his career… but also, also, it’s nice to have him here. This is better than chatting in the laundry room, it’s always hard to hear him over the washing machine.

Taako shrugs as if it’s no big deal, as if this situation isn’t ridiculous, and settles back in his chair. “Which one’s your favourite?”

“I can’t tell you that!” Kravitz cannot believe Taako’s lax approach to research ethics. “It’d bias your opinion. You’ve got to go in fresh.”

“So Taako’s allowed, then? To stay and play?” Taako gestures at the array of biscuits.

If he wants to then he definitely can. “Yes. I want to know what you think.” Kravitz nudges a custard cream themed pen at Taako - appropriate tools were necessary for the job. He keeps the one with the springy Jammy Dodger on top for himself. Taako eyes is jealously, but he should have brought his own.

The tea timer bleeps delicately, Kravitz got it specifically for its tiny boop. He hates being startled and the old one was too aggressive.

“Do you take milk?”

“Yes, no sugar.”

“You’re sweet enough.” Kravitz finishes.

Taako smiles a big smile at that. The pride swelling in Kravitz’s chest at the sight of the delight on Taako’s face. It’s unexpected and he did that!

“Hey Krav?” Taako asks, somewhere between biscuits 8 and 10. “What’s someone like you doing messing with the Mooinjer Veggey?”

“Someone like me?”

“Well, you’re not exactly the usual type, lost fiddler on a hill and all that.”

“I’m pretty good on the cello.” Kravitz shouldn’t be offended, but how dare Taako not assume Kravitz is a fiddle prodigy? He could be! There’s no evidence to the contrary.

“Oh well then, private concert for one, do you take requests? Can you do the Thong Song?”

He can, is the thing. He shouldn’t go and get his cello right now and demonstrate that fact.

“One second!” Kravitz leaps up.

“Are you serious?”

Kravitz doesn’t say anything, just runs to the corner of the living room and opens the case with a flourish.

“My dude, if you are about to crack out some Sisqó on the extra big violin Taako’s going to lose it.”

Kravitz pretends he’s in his fanciest suit, flips the tails, and sits. Drinks in Taako’s smile, relishes the fact his eyes are fixed on Kravitz. It’s not usually something he likes, but in this case he’ll take double staring.

By the time he hits the chorus Taako is laughing so hard he’s flopped sideways and snorting and still just about managing the backing vocals. He’s perfect.

“So I think that Themselves would probably keep me under their hill forever.” Kravitz says once the last note has died. He tries not to be smug, he does, he knows it’s impolite, but it’s hard, he deserves to be pleased with himself.

“You’re not wrong, handsome.” Taako says, still slumped on the sofa. “I think I’m crying.”

Kravitz automatically offers the tissue box, he has one in most rooms, just to be safe.

“Why did you do this?” Taako asks again.

“You said you had a request.” “No, not this.” Taako points to the cello. “This!” He gestures at the tea, the biscuits.

Kravitz isn’t sure if it’s wise to admit the truth, but a minute ago Taako was crying on his sofa about the Thong Song so Kravitz isn’t sure Taako has much room to make fun of him right now.

“I need a date.” Kravitz says quickly. Maybe if he just gets it over with it won’t be too bad.

“You what now?” Taako looks like he’s about to try and reboot his ears for being defective.

“I won’t be accepting any supplementary questions at this time.” States Kravitz, wishing more than anything he had a business curtain to close, or a door to lock, a tannoy announcement. Shut for business for the day, no further questions, thank you all so much for playing!

“So this is a monster fuck thing! I didn’t think you were the type.” Taako gives him a very slow once over that Kravitz doesn’t have any bandwidth to process right now.

“No!” Kravitz is fairly sure the werewolf cowboy romances on the shelf by his bed don’t count. Probably.

“Then why?”

“There’s a work thing.”

“Hang on, you’re serious?”

“I just said it was!”

“It sounded like a lie.”

“Would you like me to make up a more plausible lie than the lie-sounding-truth?”

“No no, go on, cha’boy needs to hear this.” Taako looks positively delighted, but it’s probably too late to back out.

“There’s a work thing… it’s an awards thing, and I was dating a guy and now I’m not, but they already ordered the food and I don’t want to tell anyone because they’ll do the weird squinchy face and not know what to say bit and we’ll all just have to marinade in the terribleness together and long for escape.”

“Bad.” Says Taako with feeling.

“Bad.” Kravitz agrees. “You get it.”

Taako nods solemnly. Then cocks his head to the side. “Taako could be your date.”

“What?”

“Well, I ate your cream… Wait, no!”

It’s too late, Kravitz is laughing hard and ugly and happy.

“I ate the chocolates.”

“You did.” Gasps Kravitz, trying to calm down.

“And the biscuits.”

“Yes.” That was true.

“So now I owe you.”

“You don’t.”

“I think I want to owe you.” Taako smirks and Kravitz is almost convinced it’s flirting.

“It’s black tie, the event. You know. Fancy nonsense.” He’d better make sure Taako knows what he’s getting into.

“Oooh! Is there fancy nonsense food too?”

“Probably. I can check the menu.”

“There will be.” Taako says confidently. “It’s gonna be bad and your company will have paid too much for it.”

“You don’t even know where it is.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you about why it’s all shit.”

“Okay.” Says Kravitz, scared to break the spell.

“Okay.” Taako replies firmly, solidly, making a date-ly. “We’re going to take the world by storm. Anyway, what’s the awards thing for?”

“Nothing much. Just, you know, work stuff.” Kravitz waves a hand dismissively. There’s no way he’s going through the embarrassment of admitting to Taako that he’s the guest of honour. It doesn’t change anything about what they’ve agreed.

“Okay. Well, just send cha’boy the details, I wrote my number on the biscuit form.”

“Before the Thong Song?”

“Before the Thong Song.” Taako confirms solemnly.

-

I hope you enjoyed! Want to read more? Tomorrow's prompt is here.

[ghosts-and-apple-pie]

Okay, so the concept of Michael somehow ending up in the foster system has been spinning around in my brain like a little dish in the microwave for the past several hours, but I can't draw so I've reached the conclusion that it's time to try and dust off my old creative writing skills to get this out of my brain-

Welcome to my foster kid Michael AU that's a result of my foster kid ass wanting more foster kid rep that *isn't* just ones who run away from every home and eventually find The Good One(tm)

CW for mentions of death because this takes place shortly after the bite of '83.

~~~

Fourteen-year-old Michael sat in the social worker's office at his middle school. It wasn't his first time here, not by a long shot. Honestly, you'd think he would be used to it by now. To an extent, he is- he knows the routine of things he's meant to say, the list of things his father has told him to lie to the DCFS caseworkers about, the same questions repeated every time.

"Are you eating well?

"Yes."

"..and sleeping well?"

"Yes."

"Do you feel safe at home?"

"Yes."

Michael isn't completely lying. Yeah, his home life isn't great. He knows that. He knows it could be better, but he's happy with life the way it is. Besides, he's got a roof over his head and a bed- plus, some kids have it worse. Honestly, all he has to do is stay out of his dad's way when he's upset. That's not that bad, right?

"Okay.." the caseworker nods, writing down a few notes on her clipboard.

Michael knows this is typically the point where they determine nothing is wrong, and the interview ends. He's been through this song and dance one too many times. He grabs his backpack and starts to put it on.

"Can I go back to class now?" he asked, although he wasn't waiting for an answer. He was already up, standing by the door, his backpack slung over one shoulder.

"Actually, I have a few more questions for you, if you wouldn't mind sitting back down, Michael," the caseworker replied calmly.

Michael hated how calm every caseworker on Earth was. They act so casual, like if you don't say one wrong thing your whole life won't be uprooted. he sighed and sat back down.

"I had a few questions regarding your father's diner. Can you tell me about it?"

This was a new one. Michael was not prepared to answer this- what's the right thing to say here? He thought about it for a moment. It's not his house, so whatever he says should be fine, right? It's not like they can put him in a foster home because his dad's a garbage businessman, right?

"I uh- okay, well.. My dad usually brings.. or uh, brought, I guess.. Evan and me to the diner while he worked- it had pizza and an arcade and stuff, so we were fine. We'd always have other kids to talk to, too" he hesitantly replied, trying his best to frame their family's diner in the best light possible.

"And did you feel safe there?"

Michael hesitated. Did he feel safe there? He knows she wants to hear yes. That's the answer they always want. That's the answer he decides he should give.

"...Yes..?"

It came out far less confident than Michael had hoped, but he's hoping she'll buy it. There's a few other questions asked, but they're all a blur, really. Stuff about Evan, stuff about the animatronics, stuff about whether or not there were adult employees watching them.

Michael walks out of the room around half an hour later, unsure of what to think of all the extra questions he was asked. That's never happened before, but then again, his brother dying was a pretty big deal. That was his fault though, not his dad's! They can't take him away for that, right?

"Right..?" he thought to himself, standing in front of his grandparents' house with a duffel bag full of his stuff less than a week later.

~~~

I will for sure be writing more soon!! Just had to yell my thoughts into a void somewhere, get 'em out into the world. Thank you for reading this far!!

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: It's Not the Fall (It's the Landing)

To save each other from Heaven and Hell, Aziraphale and Crowley become human. Things, predictably, do not go as planned. Crowley thought about what he’d come there to do. He thought about what it meant, in the context of God’s warning. Really thought. There wouldn’t be hopping from restaurant to restaurant with his best friend for the next six thousand years (give or take). There wouldn’t be any more miracles, or tempting. There wouldn’t be any skirting Hell’s wrath for eternity. And when it was over, the deepest, darkest, horriblest pits would be reserved for him. Crowley said, “Will you make me human, too?”

Length: 66,731 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: At Home, One Sitting, Angst, Canon AU

Triggers: Temporary Character Death, Alcoholism

Read it here, fic by Ginger_Cat

*Minor Spoilers* Alright buckle up, this one is insane! This has to be the craziest, most unique plot I've read for Good Omens. Every moment just punches you into a different direction. I found myself just going, "what the fuck? what the fuck?? WHAT THE FUCK??" I'm not even going to try to summarize the plot, there's too much to say and I think you should go in as blind as possible. Just trust it, let it whisk you away on this journey.

This isn't a dark fic necessarily, it ends in a very good place, but there are moments that were pretty brutal. It pushes Aziraphale in particular to places we don't usually see him. He is the reckless impulsive one here. At first his actions seem super out of character for him, but trust the process. There is more under the surface and an explanation for his behavior. By the end I was so excited about this characterization for him. Crowley, poor dear, goes through the ringer here. He slips up and confesses his love and suddenly his entire life is flipped upside down. Kind of literally? At any point he could have just said, fuck you guys I'm done, but he doesn't. His love for Aziraphale and humanity keeps him in the fight, even though I wouldn't blame him for turning to resentment.

Excellent dialogue, it really brings a lightness and humor to scenes that keeps everything balanced. The side characters are also top notch. Even Gabriel get's his moment of redemption. Pacing is lightning fast. You have to pay attention and keep up or you will get left behind. I think this could have used a little more breathing room in some areas, but it's a want more than a need. It's not a negative that it moves fast is what I'm saying. If I could have added time anywhere it would be to Chapters 15 and 16 because I am so intrigued by the concepts there. I could read an entire story of Aziraphale in those conditions (I really don't want to spoil).

I think based on how fast paced this gets, it should be read at home. There are a couple smut scenes, but it's really an at home read for the plot. And I would make the time to read it in one go. There's just a lot of threads that I think would make it difficult to leave and come back to. Plus you aren't going to want to stop! I didn't! I only planned to start it, but suddenly it's 3 AM and I've finished it. What a wild ride! A joy to read for that alone, but it's an excellent work of redemption and the lengths they will go to for love.

Read it here, fic by Ginger_Cat

[fvkedupgirl]

NINJAGO AU DUMP BC I SAID SO !!

NINJAGO BMC AU

jeremy: jay- doesn’t get the squip to end up w nya, but instead bc he’s sick of feeling like a loser and thinks it’s be good for both him and cole if he was “cooler” bc to him cole is the coolest guy he knows and he feels like he’s holding him back socially

michael: cole- end love interest, obv obv

christine: nya- kind of plays a similar role to chloe or brooke in the sense that jay only tries to date her bc the squip tells him it’ll make him seem cool, rather than genuine feelings; has a little gossip trio w/ morro and pixal

rich: kai- got a squip a year prior, pretty much same character/purpose as rich

jenna: morro- idk i just rlly love the idea of morro being the queen of gossip @ their school

jake: lloyd- bros the green ninja ofc he’s the most popular guy @ school in this au, but also not jock popular guy like jake, more like the popular guy who’s popular bc he’s attractive but ALSO he’s just the sweetest guy. ever. and rlly oblivious to the point where u want to hate him bc of the way the ppl who are nice to him/like him are but you can’t bc he’s so sweet

chloe: pixal- listen okay she’s just a gossip girl ik im pushing it w chloe and christine here but let me LIVE okay let me have my nya pixal + morro gossip trio

brooke: zane- zane is the innocent guy that is besties w the gossip trio bc he follows pixal like a puppy and she would protect him w her life

endgame ships: bruise, bg pixane + maybe samuraishipping

would also include focuses on the dynamics between: kai + lloyd, rgb siblings, nya pixal + morro, kai + jay, + probably more if i fleshed out the whole plot a little more

thinking abt unagami squip?? or maybe some version of superstar rockin’ jay???? probably the latter tbh

SKYBOUND AU(S) BUT MAKE EM ALL BRUISE !! (rhyme time bbg)

so like on the one hand we have the obvious: replace nya w cole. which. i want to do obv bc it’s perfect and i have been planning out the details of the scene where he dies in jays arms and they turn back time and then we finally get our bruise kiss since FOREVER so im not letting my baby go even if other ppl have already written the concept b4.

ON THE OTHER HAND we have, instead of doing the same plot just switching around the roles of some of the characters, REWRITING THE WHOLE PLOT BC HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUTTTTT OKAY everyones always like “nyas the bride” “coles the bride” but what if WHAT IF WHAT IFFFFF *JAYS* THE BRIDE???? HEAR ME OUT HERE ME OUT HEAR ME OUT OKAY IVE BEEN THINKING ABT THIS IT CAME TO ME IN THE SHOWER AND I WAS LIKE. THIS. I COULD WORK WITH THIS. BC I WAS THINKING ABT LIKE SOME YUMMY COLE-PERSPECTIVE BRUISE ANGST OF S6 W THE SONG “ITS OVER, ISNT IT” THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS LIKE “HM WHAT IF I WRITE A WHOLE FIC ABT THIS” BC I CANT JUST THINK OF ONE-SIDED BRUISE BC I HATE THE ONE SIDED SHIP TROPE *BUT* ONE SIDED BUT ITS ACTUALLY NOT THEY JUST THINK ITS ONE SIDED BC THEYRE IDIOTS IS A TROPE THAT HAS SUCH A CHOKEHOLD ON ME AND NOW HERE I AM!!!!

any ways uh if i did this im kinda thinking like. nadakhans all “i wanna marry nya” and jays like “dude wtf u can’t just. marry nya ill fite u /p coles my real bbg ofc” and nadakhan says “shit u rite. too much work. plus i got me a captive rite here like it don’t matter who i marry cuz once i got my powers i can bring back that shitty girlypop of mine n e ways. damn bluey ur so smart” and jays like “wha.” so our guy writes a fun explanation of the whole marriage thing to the rest of the squad and he’s like “YOO so im bouta get married but that would not be great for me or anyone else in the whole world so maybe we should do something abt that like just so y’all know” and coles like “bitch not my MANS” and we’ll see where it goes from there bc the timeline would be V different and things would have to get done faster meaning they’d get done differently and id have to actually rewatch the season to figure out the kinks but as i continue to write this the urge to make this a reality grows every more tempting i am foaming at the mouth rn

dumped all of this into my notes and decided to share to gauge ppls interests (pls excuse any rambling my notes are full of so much rambling it’s not even funny)

[cindernovadoesart]

Calling all Twst blogs!

I have a proposition and proposal! I want to create a Daycare in Twisted Wonderland! I already know that I create too many things already but I have had this brewing in my mind for a while now and I wanted to reach out to have some help in creating some caretakers or a job for the Yuu of twisted wonderland can work at that’s not too far from the school and so Yuu can have actual money (cause we all know Crowley is irresponsible).

As much as working at Sam’s shop is such a fun concept and many have jumped on that train, I want to make a good alternative being a daycare. Plus I think it would be a good way for Cheka to see Yuu (whether considering them as a uncle/Aunt or another older sibling).

Daycare name is Tiny Toon Town Daycare in reference to Toon Town in Who Framed Rodger Rabbit, and the main caretaker is Jack Rabbit.

Jack Rabbit is Twisted from Rodger Rabbit, and the main reason why he owns and runs the daycare is because of the baby Herman cartoons.

He is a quite clumsy and ditzy caretaker that would freak out over kids injuries and them being in danger. He wears glasses that are constantly cracked and wears a colorful daycare outfit because it appeals to kids.

The only reason why the Daycare is running is because of the other caretakers that Jack practically begged to join, knowing that they will be able to help handle the kids and help hold back Jack when he freaks out over the kids safety.

Here’s the thing I want some of you to create or bring in one of your characters to be a caretaker. Anyone who wants to take art in this let me know.

If you are creating a Caretaker as long as you have a colorful apron of the character’s name painted on it or somewhere on it and something daycare appropriate clothing you should be fine. If you make the apron messy with paint, clipped buttons on the strapped, or decorated in a way that represents your caretaker do be careful for what’s on it, this is a daycare after all.

And finally since this is Tiny Toon Town you can create characters that are like the crossover in the movie like Warner Brothers or Disney. This however does not mean that it will actually happen because this is merely an au idea and all that jazz.

[throwaway-yandere]

I must say I am opposed to that. I mean what is a yanfic without chaos spouting from everywhere. I've read so much genshin yanfics that I've became a little immune to the fluff fics not to say that the writers are at fault as there are many beautiful fanfics out there,plus some fluff here and there is good, but to say that yandere content is my favourite is an understandment, as I can proudly (or not so proudly) say that I've read like 80-90 % of the yandere genshin fics out there and I'm still searching for more so to say that I'm dedicated is not so strong of a word. I went off topic anyway I like the trill,the excitement and most importantly the element of unpredictability that comes from the yanfics, as concepts that you bring helps enriching the fic for example the OCMC fic, never have I ever read a yan!Mafia genshin fic with such creativity as yours and votes thing is a plus one for that. and the sagau Au fic with yandere lumine and dainsleif close view to the life of the reader in comparison to others, just when I thought that there couldn't be anything other to add in this AU you've blown my mind just remembering dain put a smile in my face I'm glad I got someone to simp with for him, it's sad that there so little yandere content for our dear traumatised twilight sword , he is my favourite character and I hope hoyoverse will grace us dain's simp with some little crumbs in the coming update and hopefully he will become playable, like the scaranation got their favourite little gremlin we dainsnation will continue to survive on hopium till he comes.

On another note would you mind teasing us a little about that got chosen in the event. And if I remember correctly you don't know who to chose for kazuha, is there is there is another idol that you got a little tricky to mach with some anons and if yes do you mind disclosing?

If you're still sick I hope you get better, get some rest and stay hydrated 😊

-🌠 anon

Snippet draft of chap 2 (gonna drop this here just in case I won't finish the fic t-t, I want someone who appreciates it to see it.):

"Cut it out, Alberich." Dainsleif quipped.

The Bough Keeper finally found himself a seat and invited himself in. He shot a quick glance your way, looking for how bad your reaction was. You were more indifferent than what he expected. Kaeya grinned. He quietly thought the situation sounded like a build up for a great joke.

Three Khaenri'ahns walk into a bar…

"Oh, sorry old Capt'n– that seat is taken.'

Dainsleif glared, scowling at Kaeya's obviously fake patience and sympathy. "Stop lying."

"I'm being serious. I reserved a seat for my dear brother, you see, and you're interrupting."

Dainsleif looked at you, hesitating on whether he should argue that if he was saying the truth, then you would also be intruding. He opened his mouth, before shutting it.

He closed his eyes and hummed. Of course, Dainsleif wouldn't do anything to slight your hono–

"... Then aren't they also interrupting?" 

He pointed at you. Your eyes widened, and so did Kaeya's.

"Oh? OH?" Kaeya gasped dramatically. "You're… actually talking back against them? Against Your Grace?"

"Unbelievable…" You noted, your throat still strained.

Dainsleif scowled and took your glass.

"You're not drinking."

You gripped it back, quick and unrelenting, subsequently making your hand wrapped around his. You glared.

"Don't get cocky, Twilight Sword."

"I wouldn't if you weren't so reckless." He said. "For all your years of rumination, you still haven't learned a thing or two about self-defense. Or even how to take care of yourself."

"Oh?" Kaeya couldn't help but let out some monosyllabic responses. He watched as the two of you fought over what is technically the drink he paid for. It felt like he was missing half of the conversation even though he's at the front row seat of everything.

"We dueled, and Lord (Y/n) lost."

You sent him a dirty look. Snitch. Braggart. Asshole.

"I'm not the one who brought a sword to a dagger fight."

"A sword and a dagger are all but weapons. What matters most is the determination of those who wield it."

"All I hear are excuses, you cheat."

"You didn't exactly warn me that we'll be crossing blades."

"Horseshit. I threw a glove at y–"

"Sorry, I'm blind in my left eye. Corruption and all."

You stiffened and his retort effectively silenced the table like a spell. Kaeya stole his shot back and sipped it, not looking at the both of you. Your shoulders fell and you subconsciously covered your mouth. Shit. You didn't know that.

Dainsleif sighed, laughing humorlessly.

"I'm only joking... Of course."

-----------------------------

Okay now back to me simping

I went "OH MY GOD HYSHUM APPRECIATION AAHHHHH" in a yell-whisper dhsjsksoa •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀ JDISOSK OKAY I'M SORRY I'M JUST VERY HAPPY TO SEE A FELLOW DAINSLEIF SIMP UWUWUWU–

Anyways I'm putting a read more here because it is too embarrassing to have people go "you are so unhinged for dain" so I'm just gonna put this here lmaolmaolmao

There we go. Anyways–

HE'S MY FAVORITE (obviously, ansy.) BUT UNFORTUNATELY NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE LOVE HIM AS MUCH AS WE DO (⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠) I LOVE HIS VOICE IN ALL LANGUAGES LIKE KENJIRO TSUDA??? YURI LOWENTHAL– PLS I ADMIT I DON'T KNOW HIS KOREAN AND CHINESE VAS PART WORKS BUT THEY ARE BOTH SO 😩👌👌

JEIWO I AM SORRY I LOVE THIS MAN A LOT JSKSKAKAIA I'M ACE AND I JUST RECENTLY FOUND OUT THAT YEAH, I DO ACTUALLY WANT TO UNIRONICALLY KISS DAINSLEIF AND MY FRIENDS ARE FRICKING MAKING FUN OF ME FOR IT (⁠ᗒ⁠ᗩ⁠ᗕ⁠) SORRY I JUST. UEISIS. I MIGHT EVEN LOVE HIM MORE THAN DIMITRI AND UH OH THAT'S NOT GOOD–

Hysteric Humanoid is actually the most fave fic I've written while "No" - Albedo is the most personal one. I just adore the idea of a reader who's stuck with a guilty yan who thinks they're protecting them by not following their instructions.

Also, I just don't think EVERYONE would love you if you're reincarnated as a creator– much more if you're the "impostor." I just don't think it's a realistic expectation, so I was planning on having people like Ayato, who knows you're the creator AND STILL HATES YOU lmao. Sadly, a dainsleif fic just doesn't get attention *sigh* doesn't mean I love him any less, but if writing other characters is what makes people happy then I'll selfishly keep dain to myself lololol <3333 luv him so much it hurts sometimes. Yandere!Dain is always described as someone so reluctant BUT WHAT IF HE WAS FERAL HUH????? WHAT IF HE BREAKS MY LEGS AND TELL ME NOT TO DO ANYTHING STUPID??? WHY NOT???? WHY N O T??? IDC HYSHUM!DAIN IS A SARCASTIC MFER WHO JUST DOESN'T LISTEN TO CREATOR/IMPOSTOR!READER ANYMORE–

Oh i forgot to explain why "no" is the most personal lolol. I think it's kinda obvious but this is the only reader i wrote that i actually relate to and based most of my struggles with. Not cuz I'm an albedo simp (funnily enough, I'm not that into him) it's cuz I was not feeling mentally well and writing this fic helped me a ton. That's why I kinda laugh bitterly when I see comments that that reader is really complex because yeah. That's supposed to be a character that's similar to me huhu. But I'm glad I also saw some others go "omg i see some similarities between this reader and i" because it makes me feel less alone in a way

Hol tf on why am i telling you this dusisosoa this is what finding a fellow dainsleif simp does to a mfer–

Anyways I hope you enjoyed the HysHum crumbs 🌠 anon I'm sorry for dumping that on yOU HAHAHAHA IF IT HELPS I'M NO LONGER IN "THE BIG SAD" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[rendiggitydog]

Woof. I just spent twelve straight hours retagging my entire blog. Please send help.

[mc-lukanette]

Omg I am loving your dreaded string of fate au this is such an interesting take! As always your writing and ideas absolutely amaze me You are such a wonderful writer! If it isnt too much of a bother could we get some more writing for dsaf? Either way I hope you are staying safe, taking care of yourself, and that overall life is doing you good.

Thanks, everyone! And sure, you can have more!!

—————

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Luka wasn't sure why Marinette had called him over that day. As far as he knew, she was busy with projects, though he wouldn't complain about spending some time with her.

Still, he found himself tensing and steeling himself up as he walked up the stairs to her living room. The hum of her sewing machine could be heard as he got closer, reminding him of clothes, which led to the thought of thread, which then brought his mind to the red string of fate wrapped around her neck. His last venture as Viperion seemed to have improved his sensing, so now he could see someone's red string even if the person on the other end wasn't nearby.

Needless to say, he wasn't looking forward to it with Marinette.

He closed the living room door behind him, then went up the staircase, knocking to let Marinette know he was there. The sound of the sewing machine stopped, and he heard her footsteps come closer followed by the slight creak of the trapdoor.

Marinette's face was revealed to him, offering him a smile, and Luka tried not to stare too much at the red string still tied around her neck. He swallowed, but smiled back at her, which was genuine enough even if he was uncomfortable.

"Come on up," she welcomed, holding the trapdoor up for him. He nodded and walked up the rest of the stairs, hearing the trapdoor close behind him as he took a look around the room. He felt Marinette's eyes on him, but she voiced her thoughts before he could wonder about them.

"You didn't bring your guitar?" she asked.

He glanced at his back, then at her, having no way of telling her the real reason why he'd chosen not to bring it. "Yeah, I didn't. Sorry, did you want me to play for you?"

"Oh! No, it's okay—I mean, of course I love it when you play for me so I always want—but I understand!" She thankfully dropped the subject there, turning away to return to her seat. "You can make yourself at home or help yourself to the fridge downstairs if you want anything!"

"Thanks," he said with a smile, heading over to her chaise lounge and taking a seat on it. Even with Marinette's chair turned away from him while she used her sewing machine, he could still see the red string dangling off the side, though it faded into full transparency before it hit the floor.

In truth, he'd left his guitar behind to force himself to use less music and more words. He didn't want to hide behind it to try and ease his situation or make himself more comfortable with everything. The situation the love of his life - and more importantly, his friend - had gotten into through no fault of her own was horrible, and no matter how uncomfortable he was, he couldn't have been any more uncomfortable than her being strangled by fate itself.

He watched her, waiting for a lull in her work to ask, "Did you need anything?"

"Hm?" She looked over her chair to meet his gaze.

"I'm happy to be here anyway, but I didn't know if you needed me for something," he clarified.

"Oh." She understood. Waving a hand dismissively, she assured, "No! I just invited you here to hang out—" She gestured to her sewing machine, her eyes a bit shifty. "—with me, while I was busy but totally happy and relaxed and everything!"

Her wording was inherently suspicious. His eyes scanned over the room, noting the projects littered about that seemed so plentiful. He supposed he hadn't exactly been subtle in his concern for her, but he wasn't sure of exactly what tipped her off or made her feel like she had to "prove" her happiness to him.

Besides, he knew better, and he knew her. Even with the smile she gave him, her brows were furrowed and twitching, a tiredness to her eyes that definitely didn't show what he would call "happiness."

He gave her a nod anyway, not wanting to call her out when he was still piecing things together himself, and he didn't want to confirm her worries if she was merely suspecting that he felt that way.

He leaned back while she returned to working, his hand on the cushion underneath him as he considered what to say. If Sass was right in his beliefs, then Luka indeed had the power to change Marinette's fate, though there wasn't any specific method of how. He thought back to all of their conversations, wondering what he would've done differently if he'd known beforehand and trying not to get bogged down by "what if"s or blame himself for it.

He stared silently at the back of Marinette's head, remembering the day at the ice rink when he saw the same thing. She'd been running away, or more specifically running towards Adrien after he'd encouraged her to do so. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but from what he gathered from interactions he'd either seen or heard about, it hadn't gone anywhere. Maybe it hadn't even gone well at all.

Maybe he'd made a mistake?

Luka's mind grew heavy with the thoughts, his body falling back to lay down on Marinette's chaise. He didn't regret doing what he felt was right, but now he wondered if his wording could've been better.

"You should probably go over and talk to him."

He hadn't exactly been thinking at the time - a lot had happened that day - but he noted that he could've asked her how she felt. He could've questioned her on if she really wanted to go after Adrien. It was possible she'd wanted to go home on the subway with him, but was convinced to chase Adrien when he brought it up. Luka just imagined Marinette seeing Adrien and Kagami together, the red string tightening around her neck and then loosening when she was presented with the prospect of going after him.

He felt like he was the one being strangled, just thinking about it.

"Luka?"

He looked up, surprised, seeing that Marinette had stopped sewing at some point and had come to sit on the chaise lounge with him. She hovered over him, concern written across her features and the red string taunting him with its mere existence. Luka knew by now that she was very worried about him, and trying to wriggle or half-lie out of it wasn't going to convince her. He'd just really thought that she would've been sewing for longer.

He also jolted up into a sitting position upon realizing that he probably looked like he was making himself too comfy on her chaise lounge. She didn't seem to mind at least.

"...Marinette," he said slowly, trying to put his thoughts in order. She leaned closer as a sign that she was giving him her attention, and he continued, "Do you know why I let you go that day?"

She tilted her head and he belatedly caught that he hadn't been specific, still too lost in his own head. He opened his mouth to clarify, but realization struck Marinette before he could speak, her brows raising in recognition.

"Oh!" she gasped. Though the conversation was sudden, she didn't seem to mind rolling with it. "Um, yeah, I wondered about that sometimes. I mean, I knew that you knew that I—but I didn't know that you—but if you didn't back then, I—"

"No, your song was definitely in my head, even back then," he confirmed casually, smiling as he added, "Since the day we met, remember?"

She blushed at the mention of his confession, but nodded. "Y-yeah." Then, seeming to rethink the moment with that information in mind, she asked, "...Why did you let me go then?"

His eyes flickered to the red string, then back up to her face. "I want you to be happy, Marinette, no matter who it's with. I thought that Adrien would do that, but I hope I didn't make you feel like you had to go after him."

She blinked, the thought having seemingly not even occurred to her. She averted her gaze, her eyes darting around at nothing in particular. "Is...is that why you were looking like that?"

He didn't answer, but that was answer enough for her.

"Oh, Luka," she murmured sympathetically. "I—well—" She shifted uncomfortably. "—I shouldn't be talking to you about this. It'd be wrong when my feelings are so messed up. You..."

He shook his head. "You can talk about Adrien if you want. I'd be happy if you relied on me more."

He meant it. Even regardless of his fate sensing, he wanted Marinette to feel comfortable talking to him, even if it was about her love problems. He didn't want their relationship to be changed because of his feelings for her.

"Even more?" She raised a brow, the concept confusing her, but she didn't question him further. She hesitated, rubbing her cheek in thought, then dropped her hands to her lap and twiddled her fingers. "I-I don't know; about Adrien, I mean. I—" She sighed, giving a halfhearted shrug. "—he's not interested in me. He likes Kagami, but the girls kept telling me that I shouldn't give up on him because of how hard I tried." Then, stiffening, she waved her hands and rapidly assured, "N-not anything against your sister, of course! That's just what happened—and—" She huffed in frustration. "—it feels like I hit a wall, and I'm not going anywhere. Adrien doesn't notice me and I can't talk to him and... I'm tired."

Luka nodded silently to let her know that he was both listening and sympathetic towards her plight, also not wanting to interrupt her.

"Of course I tried hard, but Adrien and Kagami seem like they're good for each other and they should be happy together. Just, whenever I think of giving up or not trying, I..." She raised a hand to her neck in a gesture that he immediately understood. "It hurts, and Alya's always trying to get me together with Adrien no matter what I say. Maybe she knows best and maybe she's right, and that's why I always end up in crazy situations with him. Plus, everyone..." She looked away, her voice not having the enthusiasm one would imagine her next words would go with. "...everyone keeps saying we're made for each other."

Luka clutched his leg to ground himself while struggling to keep a straight face. He'd certainly never heard that one before, but it stung like his neck did just thinking about it. His lips pressed together, trying to contain his emotions, but he couldn't help blurting out, "No one's made for anyone."

She blinked at him, shocked, but he didn't take it back or apologize for saying it so suddenly. He recognized the fact that he was talking about destined love being nonexistent when he himself knew that "fate" was very much a real thing, but his actual opinion on the subject hadn't changed. As far as he was concerned, fate's "opinion" was about as valid as anyone else's when it came to someone else's relationship.

"No matter what Alya, or even Rose, say about you and who you love, Marinette, all that matters is you and who you want to play for. You deserve someone who makes you happy." He paused, lamenting the reality that she really hadn't gotten to think about it. "Does Adrien make you happy?"

He saw the string tighten, Marinette opening her mouth to respond before she seemed to stop herself. He felt like apologizing, but knew she wouldn't understand even if he did. She frowned, staring down at her lap and appearing conflicted with herself, so he reached out and carefully hovered his hand over her shoulder in a show of comfort. She glanced at his hand, noticing the gesture, but didn't immediately give him any sort of permission.

Then, to his surprise, she brought her hand up, gently grabbing his wrist and lowering it so his hand was placed perfectly on her shoulder. She didn't even let go, keeping his wrist held like she needed his hand there.

"...Luka," she whispered, her voice shaking, "I—no, you'll laugh, or think I'm crazy."

He squeezed her shoulder, not hesitating to insist, "I won't. I'm here for you, Marinette."

She finally met his gaze, and he saw a vulnerability there that wasn't there before. She was nervous, whether of his potential reaction to whatever she had to say, or something else entirely.

She took a breath, her fingers tightening around his wrist as she composed herself. The silence stretched, though he could tell that she was steeling herself up.

"The—the Adrien pictures," she began, tossing a pointed look to the wall where they were. "I don't remember putting them there."

He kept his expression schooled, not wanting her to overthink his reactions. Careful and quiet, he asked, "What do you mean?"

"I-I mean, obviously I started putting them there, back when I first met him," she admitted, "but I took them down. They'd been down for a while."

Luka could confirm that. He'd been to Marinette's room before when she'd been sending in their Kitty Section audition to Bob Roth, and the pictures weren’t there.

She continued, "I-it hurt when I did it, but I did, and I threw most of them away. But then—when I wake up sometimes, they're back, and I don't remember putting them up. I-I mean, maybe I did but I just don't remember it? I stay up late sometimes and I won't remember falling asleep, so it might be like that, you know? I-I know you're not exactly like me and I'm sure you don't sleepily put pictures on your wall but..."

He smiled as best as he could, even though he was hurting inside. "I know as well as you do that creativity doesn't have a schedule."

She managed a smile in return, but it returned to a frown as she dropped her gaze to her lap. "A-anyway, I can forget things, but it's never been that bad, and sometimes they'll be gone for a while but then they'll be back a few days later. There's just—there's no other explanation, so it has to be me, right? I-I don't know if it's a sign or what, but if it is then I don't know what it's telling me? Because whenever there are a lot of pictures—" She made a vague gesture with a wave of her free hand, cringing as she added, "—something humiliating always happens. That usually gets me to take them down again, but then... well, you know." She rubbed the back of her neck with a hand, blushing in embarrassment. "Sorry, I probably sound crazy. I-I swear, I'm not trying to—"

"I believe you."

Her mouth halted mid-sentence, hanging open as she stared at him.

"I believe you, Marinette," he repeated, giving her shoulder another squeeze. He didn't need any further detail to know what happened, as there was no way Marinette would take down those pictures and then put them back up the next day, or even the day before that. It didn't make any sense, and while he hadn't seen the wisps of fate move things or brush them aside, he had seen them trip Marinette, meaning they had some level of physical control. It explained it all: the convenience of the pictures appearing and disappearing, as well as the amount of them there'd be.

"T-thank you," she murmured, her lips briefly moving to form extra words but nothing coming out. She looked shy, possibly from admitting something she hadn't told anyone before, but she at least wasn't so nervous anymore.

"You don't need to thank me," he assured, "but you're welcome. Just know that you can tell me anything."

She ducked her head, peeking up at him to ask, "How much do you want to know?"

"Whatever you're comfortable sharing with me," he replied.

"Everything?" She'd said it quickly, as if she'd blurted it out, but she didn't panic afterward. She merely looked at him, hope in her eyes.

He nodded without hesitation, wanting her to be certain that he meant it. She searched his gaze for a few more seconds, one last shred of doubt remaining, but he knew he'd convinced her when her body relaxed and she smiled at him with her whole heart. Her grip on his wrist lightened, her hand sliding off and back down to her side. He pulled back as well, his heart a mixture of emotions but mostly just happy to see her happy.

"I..." She turned away, facing her trapdoor. "I'm going to get some snacks first."

He watched as she pushed herself up, then stood as well to follow after her. "Do you want any help carrying them?"

She looked at him, confused. "You don't have to."

Instead of responding with the obvious - that he wanted to - he simply replied, "You're not alone anymore, Marinette."

He didn't need to elaborate for her to understand. He let himself get lost in the warmth of her gaze, hoping that he might see it more one day if he could ever get her string removed, even if her warm gaze would end up being for someone else.

[writemyaceattorneys]

hey hey franziska anon from turnaboutyandere here 👀 so excited for this blog! i feel obligated to request for some general franziska and edgeworth headcanons please ✨

Of course Franziska Anon!!!! I’m glad that you have obliged me to talk about my favourite trilogy prosecutors, husband Miles and wife Franziska are absolutely fabulous angels.

I hope that you like these headcanons. I’m also really excited for this blog and I can’t wait to get into running it .

Spoilers: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trilogy

TW: Franziska’s whip

💎Franziska von Karma💎

💎 Relationships are a concept that are very alien to Franziska. From a young age she was taught to only seek perfection in her career, that trivial feelings such as love should always come second or not come at all.

💎 Because of this, she soon came to realise that she was very unprepared for the sudden deluge of emotion that struck her after interacting with S/O a few times.

💎 She would probably be very angry with S/O at first. How dare this foolish fool just waltz on into her life and make her feel all of these feelings and just be so oblivious to their effect on her. S/O would be on the brunt end of Franziska’s wrath (namely her whip) during this time period.

💎 It would absolutely get to the point where everyone around Franziska and S/O would realise what’s going on. Getting Franziska to confess to S/O would be nigh on impossible because of her stubbornness so it would be up to S/O to confess to Franziska first, if of course, they felt the same way.

💎 Good news! They do, (although, they had been getting the distinct feeling that Franziska didn’t like them because every time they went to talk to her, they’d walk away with several whip lashes) so S/O plans to confess their feelings to Franziska

💎 Franziska would be in shock when S/O first confesses to her, as much as she had been wishing for this to happen it was still something that she would never expect could happen to her.

💎 In terms of affection, Franziska is still going to be very closed off at first. She doesn’t have much experience in terms of PDA or even private displays of affection so S/O is going to have to be initiating a lot of it. Over time, Franziska would probably clutch onto S/O’s hand if she was angry and would very much appreciate it if S/O rubbed her hand with their thumb.

💎 She would absolutely love to show her S/O off to her colleagues!! She’d bring them to fancy dinners, conferences or whatever else she was invited to as her plus one. She sees it as her own form of affection, while she isn’t 100% comfortable with initiating more personal affection yet, she will more than happily speak about her S/O if prompted (given that the person asking isn’t a foolish fool of course).

💎 If S/O were to learn some German in order to speak to her, she’d be so flattered and would probably blush, depending on how S/O decides to compliment her, she would absolutely get embarrassed.

“Hey Franziska! du siehst heute schön aus.”

“H-Hör auf mit dieser Torheit... aber danke, mein Sonnenschein.”

💎 All in all, Franziska is very grateful for S/O’s presence in her life and she hopes to one day be able to give back in tenfold the affection and support that S/O has given to her, until that day, however, she is more than happy to bask in the warmth that her S/O provides.

Translations from the text:

Du siehst heute schön aus. - You look beautiful today.

Hör auf mit dieser Torheit... aber danke, mein Sonnenschein - Stop this foolishness...but thank you, my Sunshine.

♟Miles Edgeworth♟

♟ Very similarly to Franziska, Miles is also very inexperienced when it comes to romantic relationships. He was more focused on making his mentor proud and didn’t really focus on anything to do with dating. Because of this, he is also very oblivious to how other people feel about him which means that even if he had feelings for S/O, he wouldn’t be the one to initiate a relationship.

♟ Any form of romance with Miles Edgeworth is going to be prime slow burn material. It’ll take him a good several months to even consider forming anything closer than a professional working relationship with S/O, before anything else he would come to appreciate and admire the hard work that S/O put into whatever they did.

♟ Again, S/O is probably going to have to be the one to confess how they feel to Miles and they are going to have to be very upfront about it to avoid a miscommunication. The confession would absolutely happen somewhere privately and once Miles realised that he wasn’t the only one with these strange feelings about the other, he’d feel absolutely relieved (although he’d be sure to hide it with a wry smile and his normal formal and cool manner of speaking).

♟ Miles is also someone who is very inexperienced with public and private displays of affection and the initiation of such acts will never fail to make him incredibly flustered. He might be a bit more put off by public affection and would seize up if S/O were to as much as hold his hand in public, let alone embrace him or kiss him. This is something that he’d work on over time so at some point, he’ll be more open to holding hands in public.

♟ Despite his inexperience, Miles would probably be the most comfortable with privately displayed affection, whether that be in his office when it's just the two of them or at either his or S/O’s home. He’d absolutely be down to hold hands while he works and if he was feeling particularly worn down, he might just pull his S/O into his arms while he sits and 2just lay his head against their thorax.

♟ It’s pretty much common knowledge within the fanbase that Edgeworth has a dog at this point, so a good way to spend time outside of work would be to go with Edgeworth while he walks his dog. Also bonus points if Edgeworth’s dog also likes S/O, animals are very perceptive and as far as Edgeworth is concerned, if his dog likes and trusts S/O then there’s a good chance that he can do the same.

EXTRA! bonus points here if during the walk, Miles’ dog keeps looping the lead around both Miles’ and S/O’s knees and they end up falling into each other.

♟ Routine affection is also very important to Miles, he’d make sure to have time set aside during the day to be receptive to affection and once he gets bold enough to initiate affection and romantic gestures himself, I can guarantee that there’d be at least half an hour that he’d take out of his day to just hold S/O in his arms.

♟ Miles is also one to show off, so S/O can fully expect to be brought to all of the fancy functions and conferences that Miles has to go to. He’d also take them along on all of his international excursions so if anything, S/O can expect to become a lot more well travelled. He’d take S/O to see all of the sites in whatever country he was visiting and he would absolutely take advantage of the fact that he probably knows several European languages to further impress S/O.

He would also teach S/O different languages so that they can communicate too.

♟ One thing that Miles would definitely be concerned about is his fans. He is no stranger for receiving bouquets of flowers and other lavish gifts from people who are no doubt trying to woo him. However, he wouldn’t stand for any slander against S/O and if these fangirls grew to be too much, he’d make it abundantly clear to both his fanbase and whoever checks his packages that he won’t be receiving anything else from those who only seek to interfere in his private life.

(Sorry Wendy Oldbag, I don’t think you’ll be getting your ‘Edgy-poo’ anytime soon)

♟ Miles would be fiercely protective of his S/O. If he thought for a moment that anything that he was about to get himself into was going to put S/O in danger, he’d try to keep them as far removed from it as possible. It would absolutely wreck him if S/O was hurt and even in a non-yandere situation he’d make it his mission to make sure that anyone who put S/O at risk was brought to justice.

[writingforyourpleasure]

I have a thing for Car wash

Genre: NonIdol!AU, SummerJob!AU

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Summary: You do car wash as a summer job each year. But this year , 7 new employees are added to the mix.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: none

A/N: Thoses Butter's concept photoshoot are gonna be the death of me ...

______

Summer’s Job never been dreamy or appealing you always preferred to stay home and play games or hangout with your friends.

You were doing the same summer job from your high school’s years throughout your UNI years, this year was the last year where you could work at the same gas station you usually spent your summer’s at. You were quite happy about this news because your work there wasn’t really enjoyable to say the least.

You were working as car washer.

The staff was limited to you and Gladys. Gladys was an Australian grandma’ with an heavy accent and a loud voice.

You used to complain about the underpaid job and understaff issue to her each year , but even if she tried her best to pay you more each year, the problem of understaff was remaining.

Plus you had the marvelous advantage , note the irony, to be a woman. So of course you had some guy every now and then asking you for some porn kink including cars and water to you.

And of course as soon as you dared to say to them that it was not respectful of them to ask for such favors , well their ego feeling insecure will make them insult you ‘til Gladys will come out and try to dissolve any trouble. And if they didn’t leave… well then Tallulah will come help you out. Were Gladys was a true perfect cottage core granny , Tallulah her spouse, was a weightlifting Olympics coach. So she was , massive and looked very frightening.

But since she was often occupied most of the time Gladys would have to do the trick , and if too much persistent she would call her little brother Jeff a policeman always coming in and out of the shop to check on things.

It was nice, for a summer or two, but seeing as it’s been years since you were first introduce to this summer’s job to say it became painfully annoying was an understatement.

And this year would be the same…

Or so you though.

Gladys finally took your complains about the car wash job being understaffed and recruited a few people to help out .

When she said a few, you though she was talking about 2 to 3 people.

But no, no non no no no. Gladys took in 7 people !

She promised you your check wouldn’t take any damage by the presence of those new employees , but you sincerely doubt that.

And of course you’ll have to show them around and proceed to show them how to wash a car because of course it’s not like anybody could know how to do it by themselves.

You were moody when that tons of information’s felled down on your head, but now finding yourself in front of the 7 new employees changed everything.

Apparently Gladys misspelled car wash job for model’s photoshoot coz’ those 7 boys were for sure way too beautiful to need a car wash job.

It had to be a prank, right?

So being more self aware in what you’ve been for years you showed carefully those men of to do the job. And no it wasn’t cute or sexy, far from it.

You were dressed in your yellow hoodie and black jogging with flip-flop.

For once you wished you had were those fucking shorts looking like panties more than anything, and a crop top or something similar, like all those freaks watching too much porn often asked you to.

But no , and those guys were dressed in matching outfits in jeans and whites tee.

Even if they were very dreamy swoon over , you had more pressing issues to think about.

Like why one of them started a water fight with another one, and putting a stop to it before one of them put soap into their eyes.

“Okay guys!!! Please stop …? I don’t want to have to report you to Gladys on your first day okay? So keep that behavior for when you’re on your own okay?”

“Sorry , we didn’t meant to …” Said one.

“Huh sorry to interrupt , but none of us seems to have catch your name earlier ?” Said the guy with blue hair.

You liked his hair, it was nice, like blue waves , more darker on the edges and lighter on the center of his scalp. He had such beautiful eyes too, so sharp an-

Oh god , wait did you really lost yourself by admiring him?!

“Huh miss???”

“Y-Yeah !!! Haha my name’s Y/N !” You extended your hand , losing your mind for talking in a higher voice to him , good job at not being suspect Y/N….

And you hated yourself even more for being awkward by presenting your hand to him. But he, on the other hand sensed your discomfort and made your move seem completely normal shaking your hand lightly and giving you a cute smile showing off his dimples.

“Namjoon,…. And those two are Jungkook and Taehyung, and I hate to be the one breaking it to you but we’re probably gonna have a hard time keeping them calm.”

“Oh… Okay” You just ended , looking to the two guys involved in the previous water fight, and looking back to Namjoon’s face. He was calm and put you at ease. Hargh you were staring , good job on not being a freak Y/N .

The one all covered in jean from head to toe approached you, and ever so silently spoke to you.

“Hate to be a bother Y/N, but can I have a bucket to wring out my sponge, please?”

“Huh Yeah of course huh-hu….”

“Yoongi’s the name…”

“Oh huh well yeah let me get that from Gladys to you okay I’ll be back in just a sec Yoongi.”

He nodded very calm much to your dismay as you were starting to feel anxious about advising Gladys for more employees, maybe you should have just shut it.

You entered the store who basked in a sunny light as the morning was starting to begin for most of other people’s in the city.

At the register was one of the new employees, he wore a plaid skirt and converse’s with a white thee and jean shirt. You couldn’t believe how gracious his lips draw themselves on his face. They looked pillowy and as dreamy as the six other’s man out there waiting for you.

“Huh hello ? You might remember me from earlier ? Y/N the foremost employee?”

“Of course I do you’re the sweet mango! “

“I’m sorry what ?”

“The sweet mango ! The color of your sweatshirt look alike a mango!”

“I-I Yeah it does…”

“Would you like another nickname maybe? I’m sorry if this one doesn’t fit your style haha. What about little mouse ?”

“Do I look like a little mouse ?”

“No ,you look like a fucking rat”

Said another voice coming from behind you.

“I beg you pardon?”

You turn over to the masculine voice behind you to find yourself facing a chest. Your eyes flew up to the face of the stranger, ready to take down any bratty client. And you were surprised to face a smiling shit eating brunette man glancing down at you . He was snickering and looking at you like he was mentally undressing you with his eyes.

“Yah ! Jin ! Don’t be rude to our new friend!”

You look down to the content in his arms, some sandwiches squeezed between bottles of water.

“Wait your on job duty ! Why aren’t you with the others ?” You started to take over yourself and focus on your task, keeping everything organized.

“Some of us forgot to bring our lunch to work this morning , so I volunteered to go for it , but you’ve been blocking the line too preoccupied to talk to mister big flirt over there.”

He gestured at the cashier.

“We weren’t flirt-“

“You totally were!” Gladys interrupted you coming out from the back of the shop with several boxes of energy bars .

“Gladys I would ne-“

“Don’t lie to me girl ! Okay Jimin go fill up the shelves with those and Jin , you’re lucky you have a nice face, it’s on the house for today so go back to work will you now?”

“Sure thing Gladys! Thank you so much !” He offered her a wink before smirking down at you , going back to his devices.

“AND SHE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A RAT! BUT YOU SURE TALK LIKE A BRATT!!!” Shouted Gladys at Jin, while a girl was approaching him to take care of her car and asking for his number. He was a blushing mess and Tae had to intervene to talk an eligible sentence to, the poor lost girl, after that.

“Now, Y/N what do you need sweetheart? I mean other than Jimin’s number of course?” She had said it loud enough for Jimin to hear it and bringing a cute smile on his face content of his accomplishments.

“Gladys please stop. “ You warned her with a tired face. She maybe looked old but she was fearless for sure .

“I need extra buckets for the boys, please.”

She leaved the register for what felt only two seconds before bringing over 5 extra buckets for you , to share.

“Thank you , you’re a life savior!”

“I know , should have started a sect when it was trendy.”

You left laughing to her dumb joke , but not before quickly glancing to Jimin. After that event you formed three distinct groups between all of you to get their heads in the game.

But with Jimin busy with helping out Gladys around the store, one of them was standing by himself.

“Okay since your alone I’ll help out for today.”

“Really? Thank you so much I was worried I’ll found myself alone when everyone’s having fun in groups.”

You looked around to indeed found them more busy playing around then actively work in silence .

“Yeah well normally having so much fun isn’t part of the job but I don’t want to kill the mood.”

“I’m Hoseok by the way but you can call me Hobi ! “ He said with a heart shaped smile.

“Y/N. Haha did you had to see Jimin assigning you a nickname too?”

“No this one’s for my crushes .” He said glancing up at you with stars shining eyes behind the comfort of his sunglasses.

“Yah! Hobi Does it mean I’m one of your freaking crushes?!” Yelled a not-so-speechless Jin , across the parking lot.

“Why don’t you come found out ?!” Yelled back a way too enthusiast Hoseok.

The day went by pretty quietly apart from those 7 agents of chaos you were stuck with from now.

Lunch came around pretty quickly and you all went to the back of the shop to have your break there , enjoying the nice breeze of the fan, while chatting.

“So , how come you’re all working here this summer?” You asked between bites of your meal.

“My aunt knows Gladys and told me she was recruiting , and since I was in need of a job I took it.” Said Jimin looking at you oh so charmingly.

“I have a thing for car wash.” Said Jin like it was completely normal.

“Your such a weirdo something hyung I swear… I was in need of a summer job saw the flyers by the campus and thought why not ? Here I am.”

Replied Jungkook slowly slurping down his noodles.

“We wanted to prove some sexist asshole that , no it wasn’t , a job only reserved to women.” Said a disgusted Namjoon swallowing quickly his part of the sandwich.

“I want to be a social entrepreneur.”

Said Taehyung leaving you with wide eyes.

“How is that related to bein-“

“If I succeed to make this place a rentable place from just the car wash then I could do anything.”

“And how would you do that ?” asked Jin dismissing his lunch to look over at Taehuyng.

“What about a photoshoot?”

[its-real]

I was going to wait until I had finished doing all the concept sketches for this but uh, I’m lazy so here take it as it is I’ll keep adding surely surely.

-LONG POST-

AU where the hermits fall into the boatem hole with no way to fly out because of some event that happens - maybe an apocalypse, maybe everyone just goes apeshit, who knows - and they all get messed up heads from falling in the void and passing out n fun stuff like that. They ‘land’ - idk how this would work without them dying lol - in a semi futuristic city which for now let’s just call it Boateqm (silent q). The hermit crabs would also fall at different rates therefore appear in the city at different times. So where do they end up?

Hospital gang:

Etho wakes up in a hospital bed with no memories - most of them will wake up with no memories btw - his doctor/nurse (this hospital may be understaffed) Tango asks him a bunch of questions then has to go see another patient. Etho is seen by a certain Bdubs who had just finished visiting his buddy Scar -will get to him next- in the bed next door. Bdubs walks back to notify Scar, a fashion designer, that the guy in the bed across would make a great model, just look at the striking hair! And the red eye! He opens the curtains on the side and Scar gets a look. He asks if Etho would like to be hired. Etho is to say the least very confused and on the verge of a panic attack that never quite seems to happen so he’s in a weird kind of limbo anyway it is now that his doctor/nurse Tango comes back and having overheard the conversation suggests it would be a good idea. The hospital can only take custody of Etho for so long, might as well start earning money now so he doesn’t become homeless. Etho is still very confused. So Tango just agrees to the job for him as his caretaker lol, and besides Scar comes here kinda often so Tango trusts him. Anyway Etho’s true passions he discovers are synthesisers, breeding horses with Bdubs and finding elaborate ways to do tax evasion. A simple man.

Scar is in the hospital because he got SCAR (hehe) from walking into a glass door in his super fancy house, which he owns because he’s a super fucking rich fashion designer of his own label Scara (this is not the first time he’s walked into a glass door). Scar refuses to go to a rich people hospital tho cause 1) he cares about healthcare and wants more funds to go to lower grade hospitals 2) Tango is his mate, and needs a goddam raise. But yeah, very successful, ran for mayor once but someone really didn’t like that which resulted in another hospital visit. Mans in the wars. One hospital visit he got really inspired by the fabric and stuff there so he had a line of clothes that were hospital inspired one time, in turn making hospital inspired garb very trendy for a bit. What a mad lad. Ideas man. Some would call him a genius if he didn’t keep on walking into glass doors n shit. Scar woke up in the back room of a small tailoring shop owned by a nice old couple who took him under their wing. He thanks them in every award speech, and whenever he’s in the area make sure to stop by and give them presents. His side hobby is gardening.

When Tango came to, he was lying on the footpath of a quiet street in the suburbs just out from the main city. Gorgeous day, golden hour, pretty houses, very aesthetic. He also had a leg injury, fuck. So Tango did what anyone would do: hobbled to the nearest house, asked in the nicest way he could under a lot of stress (so he kinda yelled) for a first aid kit, and performed surgery on himself atop the nice families dinner table. The nice family turned out to have called the police and an ambulance, who showed up just as Tango was wrapping up his leg with a bandage and took him away to the police on a stretcher. This debacle got him a leading story on the local newspaper: ‘Man performs surgery on himself after waking up with no memories and a leg injury’. After being questioned by the police, they decide they can’t really charge someone with amnesia and no money with anything like breaking and entering (he did knock and they did let him in) or property damage (blood on the carpet). The paramedics are stunned at his surgery, so they tell the police to take him to the nearest hospital and get him hired there, he could save so many lives. He gets hired by the head doctor after an examination of the surgery. The head doctor doesn’t really care that Tango doesn’t have any records or anything, the hospital is understaffed and Tango seems like an Angel sent down from the heavens to him. Tango is very very good at his job. So good that he gets offered a job at a far better paying hospital which he takes, then soon drops because he prefers the chaos of his old job much better.

Tango found Impulse extremely dehydrated, looking like death, wandering outside his flat one night, so he carried the man inside and saved his life. Now they are flat mates, and Impulse works in a tech store - an upgrade from working at a service station previously.

Bdubs woke up in an inner city park at night, homeless, broke, and in the company of other homeless and broke people. He built his way to success, got luckily hired by some rich asshole to mow their lawns plural - the rich asshole didn’t ask much questions, he just saw a poor man criticising the way a park had been landscaped to an old guy in a caravan and though it was good enough, seeing as the last one quit - and Bdubs didn’t mind too much, because the rich assholes property was really gorgeous. Once Bdubs was able to say he had work experience and wasn’t homeless he started babysitting the kids in the neighbourhood, pretty good money. Plus the kids love him, and everyone he meets loves him, he's just a nice guy. He met Scar because he had to purchase a suit for a kids birthday party, so he went to the cute little tailors shop he always walked past on the way to his favourite cute little gardening supplies shop. By now Bdubs had been promoted to part time gardener - the job is shared - and started working on and off at a building firm. They become besties, turns out Scar is also really into gardening etc etc. Eventually Bdubs becomes an architect, mainly designing for city contractors n such but occasionally designer homes, like the one he did for Scar.

Mumbo and Grian wake up in the hospital around the same time that Etho is still there, however Etho has been awake longer, and should really find a place to stay soon now that he’s got a steady job. Since - ok plot point here - the two are in the exact situation that Etho found himself in, he starts to feel like something weird is going on. Mumbo and Grian take a lot longer to recover than Etho did, and the two become hospital bed neighbor buddies. When they finally recover Scar offers them a temporary place to stay at his house while they find work. Tango gets Impulse to put in a good word for Mumbo at his work.

Nomads:

TFC is an old man who lives in a caravan off the money he made being a very successful miner, he now collects pretty shiny rocks and gems and stuff to give to kids. He’s like an all year round caravan Santa and wise old mystical figure. Dope.

Joe is a humble man who likes to wander. He’s never had a home, but if he needs anything he’ll go to TFC’s caravan or a homeless shelter or something. But he isn’t sad or anything, he really likes the freedom of being a simple wanderer.

Others:

Keralis is a business partner of Bdubs. Kerlalis is mega stonks. He was one of the first to land, had a big diamond in his pocket, bought shares in a company that blew up soon after and now he is really fucking rich.

Doc and Ren are the only ones who remember anything, and they arrive at the same time. Doc manages to keep his cool, but Ren loses his shit and gets thrown in a mental institution. Doc spends some time trying to get Ren out, and after a final success and laying low for a bit the two seek to bring all the hermits together.

Pearl ends up working in Bdubs building company.

Beef works in a music shop -sells records and instruments- and he starts up a record label out back after his boss retires and passes the shop onto him.

And yeah I don’t really know the other Hermits that well was hoping some of ya’ll could help me find places for them in this city :) don’t really know how to format this either so maybe some input would be nice, just wanted to get the idea out hehehe

[nat-20s]

Part 5 of Wonderful! Au. *boyband voice* banter’s back alright!

Also on AO3

~*~

Jon: Hello everyone, and welcome back to our regular format. If my husband being horribly soppy-

Martin:-hey!-

Jon: -turned you off the how, this should be a refreshing return to formula, though I can’t guarantee there won’t be further horrible soppiness-

Martin, performatively under his breath: -most people thought it was charming-

Jon: -as that tends to happen when one is recording with the love of their life. If last week’s episode is the only one that you like, too bad, I’m back in full form, and should be at least through the rest of the season.

Martin: This show doesn’t have seasons? Due to the whole lack of a narrative thing?

Jon: I was referring to spring.

Martin: Oh, right.

[A beat passes.]

Martin, flatly: Oh. Great goof hon.

Jon, smug: Thank you.

Jon, sincere: Also, before we get properly started, I did want to actually thank everyone who sent well wishes.

M artin: Yes! We got positively inundated with lovely messages, it definitely brightened both of our days. I would even say it was wonderful.

[Jon groans.]

Jon: I am..not proud of the energy we’ve created for this episode so far, and we haven’t even hit the small wonders. Speaking of, do you have a small wonder this week?

Martin: Mine’s bad action movies.

Jon: Really? I had no idea you even liked them, let alone consider them wonderful.

Martin: Okay, so, saying I like them is a bit of a misnomer? It’s more that I like what they can do more than the movies themselves?

Jon: Elaborate?

Martin: It probably comes as a surprise to no one that I’ve tried my hand at a fair amount of mindfulness and mediation techniques. I’ve found poetry and journaling have been helpful for actually processing life events and whatnot, but when it comes to giving your brain a hard wipe and reset, nothing is half as quick and effective as a shitty shoot-em-up. Somethings about 2 hours of cartoonish, pg-13 violence held together with the absolute loosest of plots brings me to a state of mental blankness that would make a monk jealous.

Jon: How have I never witnessed you doing this? When are you sneaking off to go see Micheal Tarantino or who ever films?

M artin: That’s definitely not the right name.

Jon: Martin, dear, I don’t care. And you’re dodging the question.

Martin, fond: I’m not dodging anything. Since apparently we’re getting into it, you haven’t caught me cavorting with a movie involving more explosions than character development lately because I haven’t been. Haven’t needed it, in recent years. Turns out when you’re not crushingly lonely and working a literal nightmare of job, there’s less of a drive to try and escape your own thoughts. Shocker, I know. Still, to anyone out there that feels like their brain is on fire, go try watching a fast and furious. Any of ‘em, it doesn’t matter. Or even better, Chronicles of Riddick. I can’t remember a single goddamn detail of that movie, which makes it perfect for what I’m talking about.

Jon: I have the strong feeling that th is is a “mileage may vary” scenario.

Martin: Well, yeah, that’s this whole podcast. Plus, I imagine that movies like this would cause more stress to someone who cares about, say, world-building or rules consistency.

Jon: I wonder who you could possibly be referring to.

Martin: It’s a purely hypothetical person, love, don’t worry about it. Any small wonders?

Jon: Yes! Particularly relevant to the last week, my small wonder is stripping the sheets from your bed when it’s been too long between washes.

Martin: How very specific. M ost people would just say ‘clean sheets’.

Jon: Well, for one, I’m fairly certain that we’ve already covered clean sheets-

Martin: Shit, have we? Thank god other people keep track of this, otherwise this show would be unbearably repetitive.

Jon: Christ, yes. I typically check the website a good three times while prepping, and every about one out of those three times I find I’m trying to do an topic we did 30 episodes again. Anyway, um, it’s just nice, I think. When you’ve been too busy or sick or away for awhile, tossing the sheets in the wash makes a room instantly seem nicer. Of all the chores out there, this one, at least for me, has the highest reward to effort ratio.

Martin: Hard agree. Especially when the y have that slight funk of having been around to long, getting rid of that is such a relief. Speaking of, we need to change our sheets soon.

Jon: We can do it after the episode. Who goes first this week?

Martin: Considering last week was only me talking, I’m gonna say it’s you.

Jon: Alright, then. My first thing this week is Martin K. Blackwood.

Martin: Absolutely not!

Jon: Oh, you can do a whole episode on me, but I can’t do one little segment on my husband, whom I love very dearly?

Martin: Not while I’m sat here, no!

Jon: So you’re saying you don’t want me to tell the internet that your resolve to be kind even in the face of indescribable cruelty is one of the mot breathtaking things I’ve ever witnessed, or how I find it incredibly endearing when you get so emotional that your voice comes out as a squeak, or even that, on a more base level, you’re very physically attractive, and I could lose entire days thinking about your arms alone?

Martin, audibly blushing, voice the aforementioned squeak: Oh my god, Jon!

Jon, laughing: Then it’s probably for the best that my actual first thing is best friends.

Martin, peaking the audio levels: Oh you absolute bastard! Do you enjoy this? Do you get some sort of perverse sense of entertainment from riling me up?

Jon: Oh, don’t you start. As if you’re not as bad as I am. Maybe even worse.

Martin: That’s not…

Jon: Yes?

Martin: Okay. Maybe it’s slightly true. Really, what is romance for if not flustering your partner with compliments?

Jon, teasing: I certainly can’t think of anything.

Martin: Hush, you.

Jon: No, I don’t think I will.

Martin: Fine. I suppose you can tell our delightful audience about the power of friendship or whatever.

Jon: I would’ve assumed more enthusiasm, considering this segment is still, indirectly, about you.

Martin: In what way?

Jon: In the way that, to the shock of all, you’re my best friend.

Martin, pleased: Oh, is that what I am?

Jon, exasperated: Yes, dearest husband, I wouldn’t have married you otherwise. Though, upon reflection, I knew you were my best friend before I knew I held romantic feelings for you.

Martin: When was that?

Jon, letting out a breath that vibrates his lips: God it was...2016? I think it might’ve literally been the day after you told me about your CV.

Martin: That early? Huh. I wonder if that’s what people were picking up when they said they we were close.

Jon: What people?

Martin: I don’t know specifically, that’s just what Daisy told me.

Jon: Daisy? When the hell-?

Martin: It...was when she was interrogating me? And, because sometimes I have to be a parody of myself, pretty much my only take away from that interrogation was “people think me and Jon are close”.

Jon: Well then. It’s not like they were wrong.

Martin, smug: No, no they weren’t.

Martin, sincere: And you’re my best friend, too.

Jon: I was certainly hoping that you’re in this relationship for more than my good looks and incredible fortune, both in the monetary and luck sense.

Martin: You say that as if you aren’t good looking, which we all know is patently untrue.

Jon: You’re biased. You’d say I was good looking if I were nothing more than some primordial ooze with thoughts about its station.

Martin: I’m being completely objective. If you were primordial ooze with thoughts above its station, you’d be the cutest ooze of them all. That’s just scientific fact.

Jon: I’m starting to think we might be insufferable.

Martin: Starting to? Might be?

Jon:…

[Jon clears his throat]

Jon: What I find wonderful about the concept of best friends is, to me, they’re the closest thing real life has to soulmates. I don’t personally believe that there’s some..grand mystic force that drives people to be tied together in the manner that narrative typical soulmates are, and if there was I don’t think it would necessarily be the kind of emotional, heartfelt bond one would hope for, but I do believe that there’s individuals that get to know one another, and because of that knowledge, they chose to stick with one another. It doesn’t have to be a romantic, which is why I say best friend rather than specifically ‘spouse’, but I would argue that the basis of a strong romance like you and I have, is very much rooted in that connection. A true best friendship is an equal partnership, and there’s a sense of..matched sensibilities and understanding that can be utterly incandescent when it happens.

I also think that having one or more best friends makes living life on a day to day basis both better and just flat easier. The dark times aren’t as dark, and the bright times shine even more. I know from my own personal experience there are events that I..that I don’t know how I would’ve made it through without you. Hell, last week my..recovery period would’ve taken much longer if you hadn’t been there.

It’s an amazing thing to have someone to share things with, both triumphs and burdens. Um, also, according to Dictionary.com, the term best friends in English has been around since the 1200s. Something about that delights me, like, yes, we’ve had this casual way of referring to a Favorite Person for roughly 800 years. That makes it a hold-out from early Middle English. I dunno, it’s one of those things that make me feel overall very charmed by humanity.

Martin, audibly smiling: No, yeah, hard agree.

Jon: What’s that look for?

Martin: Nothing. Just. I love you a whole lot, you know that?

Jon, voice soft: I may have heard you say that once or twice. Per hour.

Martin: Only that often? I really need to be more diligent about that.

[There’s a bet of silence, presumably where they’re making doe eyes at each other.]

Jon: What’s your first thing?

Martin: Oh, um, right. Rats!

Jon: The expression or the animal?

Martin: Jon, have you ever once heard me say “rats” as an expression? Obviously I’m referring to the animal.

Jon: Ah. Should’ve known, considering that what, a third?, of all your segments have been on animals.

Martin: Yeah? And? You got a problem with critters? With creatures? With lil guys?

Jon, laughing: No, no, it’s very sweet. I’m just surprised you never became a vet.

Martin: Oh believe me, I wanted to. But then I learned that it was not, in fact, a job composed entirely of getting paid to play with other people’s pets.

Jon: You had that job, though, didn’t you? I thought I remembered you mentioning a month long stint at a doggie day care.

Martin, sighing dreamily: Best job I ever had. Too bad that place was shut down after it was revealed to be a money laundering front.

Jon: Good lord.

Jon: Martin did you...did you know it was a money laundering front at the time?

Martin:

Martin: Would it make you feel better if I said no?

Jon: Martin!

Martin: I figured it out like a week in, but, like, who cares? The pay was decent and the floor was super easy to clean, which is very much a plus for even a front of a doggie day care.

Jon: That’s...rather a lot. How about instead of getting into that any further, you tell me about rodents.

Martin: I would love to. But first, we have a shoutout!

Jon: Ooo, a shoutout. Does it specify who should read?

Martin: Let me check. It...does...not…..

...

Jon: Martin?

[A beat.]

Martin: Right! Sorry, um. This week’s shoutout is from Tim, to Danny. It says, “Danny! My favorite person who shares genetic material with me! I wanted to say thank you for your podcast obsession from 4 months ago, and specifically for telling me about these marrieds. They’ve gotten me through many a dull hour at the publishing house. Also, with this shoutout, I’ve officially gotten ahead on the Superior [Last Name Redacted] Brother scoreboard, so suck it. Love you lots, and looking forward to your visit next month, Tim.”

Jon: Oh.

Jon: Um. That’s very..sweet? I think? Mostly?

Martin: Yeah, I’d say so. Uh. We have to take a quick break because, uh, someone is..at our front door! Be back with you all in, from your side of things, just a moment.

[fubukiswifenoimnotjoking]

One Punch Man ship reviews bc I’m bored

WARNING: BIG ONE PUNCH MAN WEBCOMIC AND MANGA SPOILERS

GenoSai: do I even have to say it?? They compliment each other so well and are already besties. They make me so happy and I love their love. Genos literally came into Saitama’s life and brought so much new life and excitement when Saitama thought he’d never get any. Genos gives him love and appreciation all the time and never abandons him. Saitama isn’t connected to his feelings, but he cares about Genos and would do just about anything for him, to keep him safe. Genos constantly teases Saitama and Saitama grumbles and takes it with some banter, Genos is super emotional and Saitama does his best to comfort him, they fucking love shopping together and just hanging out period, they talk about the dumbest shit and somehow they still understand each other with the one brain cell they both share. It takes Genos forever to realize his feelings are deeper and Saitama has to be TOLD by their friends that he should fucking realize his feelings already. Just...I could keep going but I’ll stop! 2718873737839439/10 (let’s not talk about the age gap btw, 6 years isn’t bad and Genos is a legal adult.)

FubuSai: the stereotypical straight ship ppl gravitate to. Eh. I can see it, but at the same time I feel like they don’t completely compliment each other. Are they a hot couple? Duh. But I feel like their pride and communication issues would get in the way. 4/10

TatsuSai: hnghhhh. Someone mentioned this before, can’t remember who, but Saitama literally thinks she’s a child in canon. So that just....makes it gross. Same problems as FubuSai but worse. I’d rather see them as hesitant friends w a weird bond. 0/10

SonSai/SonicSai/idk the ship name: eh, toxic. Cant see them getting past communication issues and pride, again. Plus Sonic wants to kill his ass. Also, I just feel no romantic tension?? Even in fanfic it just falls flat for me. 3/10

MumenSai: a favorite!! Wish I saw it more, it’s very cute. Mumen is so kind and would absolutely be there to help him w self esteem and just help him be a better person period. And Saitama would have a cute little kind guy to tease and open up to. I could maybe see Mumen’s kindness getting on Saitama’s nerves when he’s in a bad mood bc Mumen almost never snaps and Saitama feels shittier, or maybe Mumen being mad at Saitama for being kinda lazy at home while Mumen is working his ass off and he’s like babe I just got home, please stop playing the fucking game and pay attention to me I have a concussion again. Prob too nitpicky on this one, heh, but 8.4/10

Genos x Sonic: wtf? As a crack ship, sure. That’s hilarious. But as a serious ship, 1.3/10 bc I could MAYBE see them bond over their love of my chemical romance or sum.

Anyone x Puri: -128382839287473828739219833468282/10. Fuck Puri.

TatsuKing: eh. Indifferent on this one too. I can see them getting along and Tatsu being the mean but supportive gf in public, but a sweet gf in private. King could be like her calm oasis of video games and sweet blonde shy bf. I sway more towards ace/aro King and queer non binary Tatsu, but this is still good. 6/10

FubuPsy/Fubuki x Psykos/idk: hell yeah!! This series NEEDS more wlw ships, both for me to project onto and to cry over. Prob my fav Fubuki ship, cuz they’ve known each other since they were young and had a tenuous friendship. I didn’t use to ship it until I saw that scene in the wc after the MA arc (u know the one) but here we are. They’re big personalities so any interaction is bound to be chaotic at first, but I really think they’d work. Pride put to the side, Psykos could be someone for Fubuki to finally rely on other than the Blizzard Bunch, someone to confide in, a badass partner to fight monsters with, talk about nothing for hours with, be a super fashionable #girlboss couple with, and someone who would really see her for who she is-especially w Psykos knowledge of her from the past. Hell, Psykos might even know her better than Tatsumaki. Fubuki could be an anchor to her like she currently is in the wc, providing a quiet comfort and making her open up little by little. Would prob be toxic at first bc of the MA arc and their desire for power, but is a very good ship I think. 9/10

Speedal/Sonic x Mumen: an old fav! Sonic would have a hard time not hating Mumen at first bc he’s the picture definition of a hero, sum he hates. But hanging out with him would show him Mumen is a GOOD guy genuinely and he’d be like ohhhh shit I’m in love w this man. Mumen would thoroughly appreciate someone to make him live a little, break some rules and stand up to ppl when they talk over him. He’d DEFINITELY be upset when finding out Sonic is an assassin, but would prob be conflicted bc he knows Sonic is a good person despite that. Would prob make Sonic give up on killing for them to be together. Sucks bc of the assassin thing and bc they haven’t met in canon! So we’re not sure how they’d interact with each other, sigh. 7.4/10

Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: a very underrated ship! To be clear, I headcanon Kama as a trans woman and so does most of the fandom. Anyway, very sweet and already built as a friendship bc of their partnership under Atomic Samurai. I can’t remember who writes fic and makes art of them on tumblr but AAAAA it’s so good! Very sweet. Basically depicted Bushi as a nervous himbo who’s honest about his feelings but scared to say them and Kama as a sweet lady who’s crazy about Bushi. Very sweet. Want more of them!! 6.1/10

OneZon/Zombieman x One Shotter: never even thought of the ship till I saw @megidolan art work! Very wholesome, and from what little we know of Shotter we know he’s a sort of nervous yet strong willed guy, and Zombieman would totally help him calm down bc he’s so chill. I could see them sharing cigarettes and talking shit on heroes while cuddling u know? 7/10 only because I don’t see enough of it but very good concept.

Mumarou/Mumen x Garou: a lot of ppl are gonna hate me for this but....I don’t like it. I’ve tried! I just—idk. I’ve read so many good fics about them that make me like it a bit, but the concept is just eh. I think their relationship is, in most reps, really cliche angsty stuff. I wish I could elaborate I just...gah! Basically, there’s better ships for the both of them imo. Sorry!! 4.3/10

Sonic x Flashy/SonFlash: yes!! Prob my fav Sonic ship. They have soooo much tension, it’s almost worse than Genos’ tension w Saitama. Flashy LITERALLY poisoned Sonic so that he wouldn’t be forced to kill him at the ninja graduation. He cares. They’ll never say it out loud, but they care. They have someone who understands what they went through in each other and someone they’re both so similar to, yet so different from. Sonic is more vocal about his expressions and let’s people know it while Flashy often keeps things to himself, they could really influence the other to be more this or that. I could see a lot of comfort with these two, and not much is needed for relationship development; they already have so much unspoken between them after meeting for the first time in years. Love it. Wish I saw it more! 10/11

KingSai: wonderful! Out of the few ppl Saitama is close to, def my second fav pick for a ship for him. There’s a post saying how Saitama doesn’t cut King off when he’s going on rants about games and stuff bc he’s talking TO Saitama, not at him like Genos tends to do on accident. They’re already great buddies! Saitama could find a shy gamer man who he can talk to about manga and stuff and also a passionate bf who could break out of his shell w Saitama and be himself with no lies. King can have someone to protect him, duh, someone who finally understands his weird sense of humor, and someone to shower him in the love and kindness he deserves when Saitama is in the mood to be all out like that w his affections. Plus he’s Saitama’s anchor and brings him back down when he’s super anxious and depressed and tells him what’s up that he needs to fix without sugarcoating it. Would def have a bunch of inside jokes and go on dates that are just staying inside playing video games all night. Domestic af. 10/10

Fubuki x Mizuki: my first wlw Fubuki ship! Hard to find but very good. Mizuki is this big ball of kindness, energy, and raw power that would make Fubuki go ‘Ohhhhhhh, big pretty lady make brain go brrr.’ I could see Mizuki grounding Fubuki when she’s in over her head, giving her random gifts bc she saw sum and thought of her, doing a marathon run and wildly waving at Fubuki in the crowd, and all around being a dependable woman confident in herself and in love with a mysterious esper. Prob a little shy when it comes to anything physical bc she loves Fubuki so much and is overwhelmed by the realness of being w her. Fubuki gives Mizuki advice on ‘acting like a proper hero’ or whatever and though Mizuki thinks she doesn’t need it, Fubuki still helps her a lot w her career and being taken more seriously by others. Would give Mizuki someone who loves her for who she is and would go wild on her in private when she can be open about her affection, would be someone Mizuki could exercise with and listen intently to Mizuki’s physical knowledge, and would absolutely bandage her when she’s all banged up. Hnghh love this ship. It’s only behind the FubuPsy ship juuuuust a little bc they haven’t met in canon so we can’t be sure about their interactions and stuff. 8.8/10, I love WOMEN

Batarou: how could I go this far without mentioning them?! They have SOOOO much tension in the centichoro fight, like come on. Both snarky assholes who are huge softies one the inside, Badd being the more logical one (still a himbo, tho) and Garou being the more chaotic one. Probably take forever to admit their feelings bc they’re so prideful and stupid <3 flirt through constant wrestling matches and it takes Genos saying ‘they should kiss already, they’re getting on his nerves’ for them to finally realize what’s up. (@rayadraws has a great au where Garou Genos and Badd are a chaotic friend squad and Genos is the only brain of the group, haha. Very good au y’all check it out!) Would constantly pick on each other affectionately and switch into concerned SO when the other is hurt like the big teddy bears they are. Raise Zenko together for sure. Garou would fumble being romantic and Badd would find it both hilarious and cute. 11/12

Zombie mask/Amai x Zombieman:

So. I don’t like Amai Mask and I used to hate him, BUT the webcomic and fic have really helped me calm down on him (he’s still a dick tho), so it’s easier to want to ship him and stuff. Bc of Amai’s anger issues and controlling behavior, I could see this relationship being super toxic and icky—but I think they have some form of understanding that pulls Amai back from being a complete dick, you know? Start off as fuck buddies and slowly form something else from spending companionable time together other than screwing. Zombieman pulls Amai back from his angry fits and soothes him over with his logic. Talk maaaaaad shit about heroes, but only when they’re alone because Zombieman knows Amai will talk loud af about the heroes they’re roasting and Zombie doesn’t wanna stop a fight from happening. Zombieman loves making Amai flustered and has a secret check list in his head of all the things that get Amai red faced. Loves to listen to Amai rant about things for hours and loves to watch his face go through almost cartoon like expressions as he talks. He won’t admit it, but Zombie loves to be spoiled by Amai’s shit tons of cash and often takes rides in Amai’s limos when he wants to smoke and think to himself. Amai has a hard time realizing how his feelings have changed, but gets hit hard with it when he wakes up to Zombie making them breakfast one morning while wearing Amai’s underwear. Amai also loves to spoil Zombie and takes him out to restaurants and buys him cool new weapons on the weekends. @batneko has pretty much gotten me into this ship and I strongly suggest looking at their works! 7.9/10

DemonKnight/Genos x Zero/Drive Knight: I’m pretty sure this used to be a crack ship before the past like 10 manga chapters—and now here we are! Not a fav bc 1. ZERO LEFT GENOS TO SELF DESTRUCT AFTER THEY COMBINED TO FORM THE FUCKING JET HE WAS JUST LIKE lol bye SO LIKE if he left him to die that’s super hard for me to forgive and ship grrr 2. Disregarding the manga’s canon and looking at the wc, while I love the little trip they went on where Zero demonstrated his abilities and helped Genos kill monsters, it’s super sus. He knew alllll of this info on Metal Knight and was super supportive and understanding when Genos said he needed time to think. Like,,,what are his intentions? We know so little about him—is he trying to trick Genos or was he being sincere? THAT STUFF ASIDE, they’re a really fun ship. They’re both huge fucking nerds and can keep up with their talk on robotics for hours, they’re both cyborgs so they understand each other’s pain, and they’re both super cool and angsty. I think they could really settle into a deep bond that can go platonic or romantic, just depends. Genos needs more ppl in his life so hell yeah! Plus, he can really let go with Zero bc they don’t have that teacher/student relationship and Zero, if he’s really a sincere and kind guy like in the wc, can be there for Genos and listen to him. Don’t have much to say on this ship other than @wellthisisembarrassing makes GORGEOUS art of them! 6.3/10

Webuiko/Suiko x Webigaza: YEAH I KNOW THEY HAVENT INTERACTED IN CANON AND WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM BUT HEAR ME OUT. Webigaza—cool af determined cyborg idol who’s surprisingly down to earth when talking with Child Emperor. Suiko—sassy and honest fighter who doesn’t take shit and is very passionate. Suiko would go to talk to Web then immediately freak out bc aaaa she’s way prettier than she thought, she can’t do this! Web would have to gently encourage Suiko to talk and at first is like ‘ah man, must be an adoring fan, ugh I’m so tired. At least she’s hot’ but when Suiko snaps out of her shyness Web is like oh! She’s super cool wtf. Always bump into each other during fights and help each other get fixed up, Suiko using her muscle power to lift Web’s pieces (and give Web a great view of Suiko’s muscles holy SHIT) and Web would patch Suiko up. Not to be stereotypical, but they’re def a masc/femme couple. I love the idea of this ship soooo much and I really hope they interact! 6.6/10 only bc they haven’t met 😭😭😭 look them up on here! There’s some great art of them by a few blogs

Dr. Kuseno x Bang: pretty sure @baldyborg came up with this one! Super cute. Just two old dudes finding a nice friendship in each other, maybe after Bang helps carry Genos to Kuseno’s after a day of fighting. Bang would find Kuseno to be a very cute little nerd man and would be sooo impressed by Kuseno’s mad scientist skills. Kuseno would be super impressed when seeing Bang in action too. They’d prob talk as soon as they meet each other and Genos would be in the background like you guys it’s been an hour, please fix me I’m on the verge of death 🧍🏻Bang would give Kuseno advice on training techniques to teach Genos and advice on making his bodies more martial arts ready or sum, meanwhile Kuseno would give his take on how to be kinder to Garou so that Bang would learn to repair the relationship with a gentleness he’s seemingly lacking (yes I’m talking about the chapter where he and Garou start fighting and Bang is just not doing enough to reach out to Garou, he’s being a callous old man! So yeah I’m still mad about that). Genos and Saitama would prob be out on a date and Saitama would be like oh theres Bang, wonder what he’s doing? Then Kuseno would walk up and kiss Bang and Genos and Sai would be shocked like SIRS 👬 Genos would tell Bang he doesn’t need another adoptive dad and Bang would be like....ok.... I see them retiring in a cottage together and Bang would become a huge softie. Yes I’m actively ignoring chapter 141 of the wc, shut up. 7.6/10

TankTop master x Mumen: they have a nice friendship going on in the manga right now! Just bros supporting bros. Tank is the picture definition of a muscly himbo and Mumen is his cute passionate bf. Also workout buddies af!! Don’t have much to say other than pretty good ship, just not a fav. 5.2/10

To sum it up—

GenoSai: 2718873737839439/10, Batarou: 11/12, SonFlash: 10/11, KingSai: 10/10, FubuPsy: 9/10, Fubuki x Mizuki: 8.8/10, MumenSai: 8.4/10, ZombieMask: 7.9/10, Dr. Kuseno x Bang: 7.6/10, Speedal: 7.4/10, OneZon: 7/10, Webuiko: 6.6/10, DemonKnight: 6.3/10, Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: 6.1/10, TatsuKing: 6/10, TankTop Master x Mumen: 5.2/10, Mumarou: 4.3/10, FubuSai: 4/10, SonSai: 3/10, Genos x Sonic: 1.3/10, TatsuSai: 0/10, anyone x Puri: -1283828319833468282/10

If there’s any ships I left out, it’s bc I don’t know them, don’t wanna talk about them, or just don’t have an opinion strong enough. Also, I know there are some poly ships like Genos x Saitama x Fubuki, but I’ve read only one fic about that (it was pretty good, here’s the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406992 ) so I don’t feel like talking about it. Hope no ones offended! All my opinion here :)

[jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav]

so since you're gonna do the avatar!mc au with the entities you think each brother would fear the most (SO excited for that btw, my friend can attest to the fact that i've basically been rambling about tma x om nonstop since the first post you made that put the two together), i'd love to hear your thoughts on which entity each brother would *be* an avatar of, if you're cool with sharing! personally i love the ideas of specifically vast!levi and dark!belphie but i'd love to hear your takes on the concept! <3

So because of how time works, despite receiving this ask on July 12, by the time you see this it’ll be August! So the entire Avatar!MC series should be out by now, which I hope you will/have enjoy/ed. I wholeheartedly agree with the concept of Vast! Levi, which I’ve talked about before (as you know ;) ), but I will happily ramble about it again!

These aren’t gonna be short fics though bc I do Yearn to save that energy for The Longfic, which is still in the planning stages because a) I can’t pick a timeline, and b) trying to match up the timelines of Obey Me and TMA is hard, especially when I tend to have a violent disrespect for actually paying attention to the timing of plot events in both. I already fucked up a part of the plotting because I forgot the order we get pacts with the brothers lmao

Content warnings: Mentions/allusions to tma-typical Spookies, yet another installation of my Cursed Crossover idea, lengthy debates about what makes someone choose to become an avatar of fear, spoilers for Lesson 16+ of Obey Me and S5 of TMA

What Entity Do I Think The Brothers Would Serve? (Cursed TMA x Obey Me Crossover)

Lucifer

So I put him as falling victim to the Eye/Beholding bc of his whole thing about Secrets and Pride being about wanting control over your own image

And he does have a creepy tendency in canon to always know when his brothers are up to some Dumb Shit

BUT! You know what we see in Lucifer’s character that we see in a certain Entity?

A simultaneous manipulation of others and submission to being manipulated by a higher power

That’s right, I think Luci would be a Web avatar

But Winter, Lucifer wouldn’t wanna take marching orders from someone/thing else! He’s too proud for that— You’re right! He doesn’t want to. But he will.

He willingly submitted himself and his family to Diavolo for eternity to get what he wanted (saving Lilith)

And from how much we see him work, it’s safe to say that he’s a pretty damn essential part of running the Devildom

If he really wanted to, he could probably successfully pull a coup on Diavolo

But he doesn’t, because he’s trapped himself by his own honour code

Thus, the sexual tension bromance we all know and love/insist is Deeply Problematic and blacklist (depending on how much you like/hate dialuci lol)

10/10, would fill with spiders again

Mammon

I put Mammon as falling victim to the Buried for pretty obvious reasons

But admittedly picking a fear he’d serve is trickier

I had to get a bit abstract with it, but I think the Hunt might suit him

Not necessarily the primal *cough* and police brutality *cough* parts of the Hunt tho

More like how Basira was considered an avatar of the Hunt in the fearpocalypse because of her mission/promise to Daisy

See, Greed can stem from fear

Fear of losing what you have, of no longer being able to support yourself, of being preyed upon by others

So people become greedy as a defense mechanism, to protect what they have

If they’re on the offensive, they won’t be targeted

Also, if you’re constantly pursuing more more more, there’s no time to think about anything else

Like consequences, or guilt, or Feelings

If Mammon let his little tough guy act go too far for too long, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say he could start heading down the path to avatarhood

After all, people pay big money for hitmen and bounty hunters…

Leviathan

As I said last time, I can see why people would associate Levi with the Lonely first: he’s a shut in, he acts like he wants nothing to do with people/would rather be alone, and I get it

BUT! All of that actually stems from the fact that Levi has terrible self-esteem and thinks he deserves to be this gross shut in loser

While envy can make you want to bring others down to your level, so to speak, Levi tends to just shun “normies”, not actively conspire to sabotage them

He actually does crave understanding and to have people in his life, he just doesn’t know how to go about it

Boy’s got Mega Social Anxiety is what I’m saying (funny how both the Lonely and the Eye can be real bad for that, huh)

But the Vast? Nihilism? Takes all the pressure off

If everyone is a small, insignificant speck in the face of an uncaring, unfathomably large cosmos, who cares what you do? Who cares what people think of you?

Yeah, you’d be kinda weird too if you stared into the infinite abyss of the ocean and realized it was just the maw of a gargantuan sea monster too, Karen, lay off

Plus aesthetically, the great Awful Deep most people fear in the ocean is a comfort to Levi

And again, THE VAST IS MORE THAN JUST THE SKY

I WENT ON A BOAT ONCE

LIKE REAL FAR OUT, SO I COULDN’T SEE LAND FOR DAYS

IT WAS JUST ENDLESS B L U E

AND I WAS ON A CRUISE IN THE CARIBBEAN

I SAW A FRACTION OF THE OCEAN’S S U R F A C E AND IT WAS I M M E N S E

Did you know we’ve only explored like 5% or whatever of our oceans? Think about that! Every Single Thing we know about what’s in there is just the tip of the iceberg!!! GOD KNOWS WHAT’S DOWN THERE!!! PROBABLY FUCKED UP FISH IS WHAT

*ahem* anyway, fishee

Satan

Another tricky boi

I marked him down as fearing the Desolation, as a reflection of what he fears most in himself

I probably could have also gone with Slaughter, but I’d say that’s more baby/early-Satan

Desolation is also about destruction of potential, and Satan has very carefully built himself into a non-rage-monster person

So tearing that all away from him is :)))

But what would Satan give himself over to?

Ceaseless Watcher, I want that twink OBLITERATED—

Satan clings to knowledge and erudition to distance himself from the rage he was born as

“Watch and learn” is literally how he became a person

I find it deeply funny that it could also easily be how he becomes a monster once again

Also if you think the avatar of Wrath wouldn’t have a use for supernatural blackmail you’re just straight up incorrect

Couple that with Satan’s various connections and he’d be a Force to Reckon With

Asmodeus

I put him as a victim of the Corruption bc I found it extremely fitting considering the duality of his romanticized image vs the “dirty” fluid-filled nature of Lust.

Lust can be really nasty, but as licentious as Asmo’s supposed to be, he’s surprisingly coy

(now part of that comes from the fact that Obey Me isn’t strictly 18+/full-on porn, but still)

There’s a lot of Interesting Ideas to unpack there with attitudes towards sex vs sensuality and idealisation vs reality

Now as for an avatar… I debated this for a very long time, tossing around Eye, Stranger, Spiral, even Web for like one second

But I think I’ve got it

Slaughter!

Specifically the musical/random outbursts of violence side (not so much the war side)

Why? Well for one, Biblical Asmodeus is said to “"transport men into fits of madness and desire [...] with the result that they commit sin, and fall into murderous deeds (Testament of Solomon, verse 23).”

But also, Obey Me Asmo’s affair with that portrait chick from the earlier lessons started a whole ass war

Like it or not, the boy is very good at instilling manic violence in people

They don’t call it bloodlust for nothing

Beelzebub

I paired Beel with an End avatar MC bc the boy fears losing his loved ones like he lost Lilith

You could argue that Desolation would fit there too but I liked how it fit Satan better

Now as for a Vibe…

I’m tied between Flesh and Corruption tbh

Though corruption is mostly bc buge :)

So I’ll talk about the Flesh

So uh, mass consumerism, meat is meat, cannibalism… see where I’m going?

Ignoring the Hans because that was super racist, the two Flesh avatars I remember best are Jared Hopworth and The Guy Who Stuck His Arm in a Spooky Meat Grinder To Feed His Buds

I think of Jared in relation to Beel not because of the gym thing, but because his very chill/apathetic attitude towards his patron is similar to how I’d picture Beel’s approach to all this

Like “well, guess I’m here now”

I love Beel as much as everyone else, but he’s not exactly apologetic about his… habits

Not to the degree that he’d actually try and change them anyway

So if he got started on the path to Flesh avatarhood, he’d be pretty fucked

Belphegor

I put Web for him as a fear almost entirely because of the concept of Uno Reverse Card, ngl

It does technically tie into his whole thing about being trapped in the attic, since he’d denied all agency and freedom in there, but… Uno Reverse

Dark!Belphie is an interesting concept, and MAG86 “Tucked In” is iconic, but tbh I don’t really… Get the Dark

Don’t get me wrong, put me in a dark place and I will be scared, I don’t like not seeing things, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around why one would become an avatar of the Dark

It’s not a very “primary” fear imo? Like, I’m scared of the dark bc I can’t see what’s there, ie. a threat could be there and I wouldn’t know, but intellectually I know it’s just the absence of light. That’s not really spooky on its own.

I guess what I’m saying is I can attribute spookier things related to the Dark better to other Entities, so I’m not sure what its draw is specifically

According to the Entity Sexiness Survey I did a while back, there’s apparently some Catholic stuff going on with the Dark so maybe that’s why i don’t get it lmao

Anyway I’d put Belphie down for Spiral

“What lies behind a smile” indeed cowboy

Apparently it’s getting choked

Is it because MC’s entire relationship with him is originally founded on a lie?

Is it because the Spiral deals with distortions in your perception, gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing, as well as foggy liminal mental spaces like between sleep and consciousness, death and life?

Is it because I think Belphie would absolutely delight in driving someone bananas by fucking with their dreams until it bleeds into their waking life?

Is it because being a person or consistent being at all is too much effort, consistent internal geography is hard, fuck it, just be an endless twisting series of hallways?

Yes :)