#pointing out obvious illegalities is only useful in pointing out corruption

[lady-raziel]

I need the progressives to have a response to everything that’s happening that isn’t just this fucking image (challenge level: impossible)

[nezumimir]

I understand that the movies are meant to be external to the flow of the main narrative, but the development of Izuku and Rody’s friendship could so easily have been used as a guide for the ‘save the Villains’ narrative to resolve more effectively. To demonstrate what I mean, here’s a breakdown of their relationship arc as well as I can remember it:

I - First Impressions

Izuku initially attempted to arrest Rody for assisting a jewel heist, only to be called out for acting outside the law (bc they’re in a country where Izuku does not have jurisdiction as a hero).

He nevertheless demands to search Rody’s briefcase which is, again, illegal regardless of whether Rody actually stole anything (he did, though the briefcases being swapped makes it look like Izuku was mistaken). Izuku is acting as a vigilante here while still expecting his position as a hero student to cover his ass.

Despite this, when Otheon police arrive with a show of grossly excessive force and no regard for due process, Izuku’s priority immediately becomes saving Rody. The legal authorities are in the wrong, the system cannot be trusted, so Izuku very publicly opposes them.

Naturally, this decision places Izuku firmly outside the protection of the law, and he is punished by being framed for the murder of 12 civilians by a government under the extensive influence of a quirkist - in this case, anti-Quirk - cult, Humarise (which could be seen as a parallel to the HPSC’s corruption/shadowy assassin operations).

II - Thesis & Antithesis

Later, while on the run, Izuku and Rody engage in a dialogue in which Rody critiques Izuku’s black-and-white moral dichotomy: Izuku claims that they can’t return the briefcase of encrypted evil-scheme documents to Humarise because they’re Villains, and Rody snaps back that not everyone has the luxury to be so righteous.

(Rody’s backstory has pretty obvious parallels to Twice’s: being denied honest work and alienated from society for reasons outside his control, leaving crime the only viable way to make a living. He also parallels Hawks in that this alienation is a consequence of his father’s crimes, in addition to the ‘Otheon gov’t under Humarise = HPSC’ idea.)

Izuku does not stubbornly argue Rody’s point but instead switches to the more pragmatic argument that a big, shady organization like Humarise wouldn’t just let them walk away after handing over the papers; they would most likely kill them both to tie up loose ends. (He is proven right about this shortly after.)

III - Synthesis

And here we come to a turning point: Rody ignores Izuku’s instructions and sneaks out at night to deliver the briefcase to a Humarise agent who, as predicted, tries to kill him after obtaining it. But despite having been ‘betrayed,’ Izuku once again rushes to protect Rody from the threat he created (or rather, made immediate).

When Rody demands to know why Izuku would save him after what he did, Izuku responds simply that he’s trying to be a hero who saves people, and he doesn’t see why that should exclude someone like Rody. (Izuku references this worldview in the main storyline wrt Aoyama and Lady Nagant: “Doing something wrong doesn’t mean you’re a Villain forever.”)

This reintroduces their discussion of who has the privilege to behave heroically. Rody, like multiple other characters , assumes that Izuku has had an easy life thanks to his flashy, powerful, heroic Quirk. But unlike with, for example, Shinso or Monoma, Izuku directly refutes this and (without revealing OfA and his former quirklessness) talks about his own hard journey.

(Which is crazy because Izuku is not someone who does this. He is committed to becoming a Symbol like All Might and saving people with a smile, not letting them see his internal struggles. He doesn’t even take the hero mask off in front of his friends in 1-A: as early as the Sports Festival arc, he tells Shoto that he’s always had the support of others when this is transparently untrue.)

IV - Conclusion

In the end, Rody chooses to help the heroes stop Humarise and then, with his family history no longer hanging over his head in the same way, returns to legal work (bartending) with plans to pursue his dream job (piloting). This isn’t because Izuku managed to change his fundamental values/ethics: his priority is and has always been providing for his family and keeping them safe.

Izuku’s influence consists in the belief that there may be other ways to accomplish those things. And while Rody does have to take a leap of faith (not caving to the Humarise leader’s threats against his siblings because he trusts that he and Izuku working together can stop the cult before those threats are realized), his decision to ‘go legit’ is the result of material changes in his circumstances. He can now afford to act within the confines of the law.

[massivedreamer]

THREE DAYS

Pairing: Dave York x Cartel boss Fem!Reader

Summary: The greatest thing Dave York will ever learn is to be loved… and to love in return.

Rating: E

Word count: 6,304

Warnings: 18+ NO MINORS, language and explicit content, no age gap, no use of y/n, use of a nickname, no physical description. Kidnapping and captivity (don’t worry, David's a big boy and it all ends up consensually), mentions of corruption, drugs, violence, prostitution, child trafficking, illicit activities in general, infidelity, invasion to privacy, masturbation (male/female), unprotected p in v (don't do it at home, kids), rough sex turns vanilla cause two baddies are in love, face riding, doggy style, fingering, squirting, overstimulation, cream pie, emotional orgasm. I think that covers it all.

A/N: This is some psycho killer rom com fever, I have no idea where it all came from but I'm a Pisces so there's that.

My first fic in a long, loooong time and my first Pedro's boys related tale. Encouraged to go back to the writing path by the lovely @lavendertales. English is not my native language, so please, forgive any trespassing. Written for the @pedrostories 's celebration (Did I make it before the deadline??)

Hope you like it and do let me know what you all think!

Yes, there's also a PLAYLIST

The kidnapping was the easiest part. Dave York´s daily routine must have been as predictable as his sex life with the wifey. It was disappointing, really. Your team had only surveillanced him for a couple of days and got his schedules and routes all figured out. For a DIA agent, not to mention a DIA agent-turned-mercenary, he had been sloppy. Lazy. The enemies gained through so many years of being a traitor and a greedy scumbag were all out there. Did he really think he was safe living his suburban life? Wasn't he scared his side job would have consequences at any point?

Did Dave York really consider the possibility of you forgetting him? 

Of course, you sent Chet. He was your chosen brother, your lieutenant, your most loyal dog. Even though he could have done it alone, he took three of the new boys with him. He had personally trained them and thought this task as their perfect baptism of fire. The jet would be waiting. Your newest runway for the Washington deliveries, paid by unaware constituents, would be ready for the illegal flight in which only Dave would be sent to California. To the mansion/dungeon they had just finished building according to your specifications, somewhere in the desert. 

-“Not again…” said Dave, rather calmly and through the hood once he could sit up and hear Chet´s voice. He could recognize that ridiculous high pitched male tone anywhere. “¿What the fuck does she want now?” 

–” I don´t know, York. And it's not my place to give a fuck. But I hope it hurts”. Chet turned to the driver and whispered instructions on how to get to the private tarmac, fast but inconspicuously. 

Dave chuckled and kept his cool, but on the inside, he began to worry. They had seized and crushed his iPhone as soon as they got him in the truck. Carol would soon start freaking out if he didn't answer her messages. Why the hell didn't he bring the satellite tracker today? He tried to guess where they were going, paying attention to the stops, the turns, the sounds. He could definitely recognize when they were passing Constitution Ave. But that was it. He had the feeling the directions Chet was giving the driver were solely to confuse him. After a while, the rhythm of the vehicle became monotone. They were cruising a highway. But, which one? Nevermind. It was obvious that the destination was in the outskirts of DC. 

- “Out, York!” 

Trying to deliver his most menacing voice, Chet yanked Dave by the arm and handed him to someone else. The highway trip was about 20 minutes and even though he was still with his head covered, it didn't take too much effort for him to realize they had arrived in some sort of an airport. She is definitely thriving. 

- “I guess we´re not going to Cozum…?”

Dave didn't have the chance to finish the joke. The needle did its job perfectly. You couldn't risk your favorite bad boy using his legendary photographic memory, not even from the air. 

A white room.

A bed. 

A chair.

One small window.

Sunlight.

What time was it? What day was it?

Shit. Dave opened his eyes and before moving a muscle, he quickly scanned his surroundings. He had to make sure he was the only one in that cell. Because that's where he was. You had put him behind fucking bars. He´d be lying if he hadn't considered the possibility of going to prison someday. But that you were going to be his judge, jury and executor? 

In the upper left corner of the locked room, there was a discreet, up-to-date camera that definitely recorded sound. Two speakers, matching the color of the walls, were hanging at each side of the bed. It was a California King Size. All of the sudden, Donna Summer’s “Love to Love You, Baby” started blasting through them. Dave sat up and some obscene flashes from the recent past slapped his memory. And, unexpectedly, fueled his groin. 

-”There´s not coming back from this. Did you know that, right?” – Dave spoke over the loud music, not sure if you were able to hear him. “You kidnapped a federal agent. You´re fucked!”   

Donna stopped abruptly but you continued the singing. You always had a lovely voice. In another life, you could have been a terrific singer. “IIIIIIII… love to love you babyyyy…!” 

“Did you change your number?” – you asked, with a fake curiosity. “I cannot seem to reach you anymore…” You sighed, almost moaned. 

“I only updated my spam call list” – Dave answered, nonchalantly. “What do you want, Killer Q?”

“ I can’t stop thinking about you” 

“ Awww...  You’re breaking my fucking heart, baby…” – Dave laughed. 

That laughter hurt. Look at what this motherfucker does to you. One year ago, you were the most ruthless woman that had ever set foot in the drug trafficking industrial complex. As a boss. And in the US, of all places. Your facade of a succesful businesswoman, though a cliché, was more than efficient. The reality was that you had become the cocaine Godmother, the meth Empress, the Goddess of opioid. Your name had started to be known across the substances’ world, with a reputation forged under seas of blood. Every single poor devil, with so little brain to disrespect you and everything you had to go through to get where you were, was either impaired or underneath some surface. 

And you were a witty bitch. While supervising the traditional kneecapping session reserved for dealers with dreams of entrepreneurism, you love to deliver some really funny lines. And yet, Dave York mocking you, left you speechless.

“Well, if the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then I guess Muhammad must kidnap the mountain…” – You were back. 

“I thought we were done doing business” – Dave started losing his confidence. Not knowing what the hell you wanted started to have its effect on him. Deep down, and after all he had seen and heard, he had to admit he was a bit afraid of you.

“Business?” – you tried to disguise your vulnerability. “So, I’m just another deal to you, huh? 

“Yes…" –Dave looked at the ceiling – "And no? I thought you and I were benefiting from each other AND having fun.” 

There was a silence that, by no means, you intended to float so heavy in the air.

“Well, I guess for me… it turned into something more than entertainment…” 

You had to close the mic to drink from the Evian bottle. You hadn’t planned to spill your truth in the first minute of conversation but there you were. Finally, admitting it. Out loud.

Were you going to say the word though? One thing was for sure: you had never felt like this. Let's be honest: a 13 year old, lured out of her miserable home, from a miserable town, having her soul ripped by men and their huffs and grunts, every single night, for a decade, was never meant to be the fairytale princess archetype. And other 10 years of her life, just surviving, lowering her head, listening to the important conversations, connecting with the right people, even escaping slavery through a marriage of convenience with a kingpin, didn’t contribute much to her personal knowledge of what love was. Or is? 

“Well, aren’t you gonna say anything?” – you demanded. 

“What do you want me to say?” – Sat at the edge of the bed and in the absence of the woman confessing such feelings for him, Dave just kept staring at the wall. “That I still don’t know why I’m here?”

“Oh you do…” – you sounded darker – “Think”

“Wait… Do you wanna have sex with me, Killer Q? Is that it?” 

Now you were the one laughing. 

“Oh my God… Men. Why are you all so basic? – You were enjoying this – Do you really think that if I only wanted to fuck you, you’d be in that cell, without me all over you? C’mon, try harder, York…” 

“Do I really have a choice…?” Dave mumbled.

He sighed and stood up, his brain trying to come up with what scheme could be the closest to the one in your mind. You made it clear it wasn’t sex. Money, maybe? Extortion. You were infatuated and planning to send some incriminating material to Carol. You surely could have set up the equipment to record your encounters. Vegas? Last Spring? That’s when Donna played over and over, right? Memorable. 

You watched through the monitor and smiled at the sight of the supposedly cold mercenary, slightly blushing. 

“What do you feel for me, Dave?” 

“Right now, I hate you.” 

“I doubt that, baby… I got a better idea. It’s getting late, I’m tired and I need to go to bed. It’s sad we can’t share it yet. We will. But first you´ll have to seriously examine your actions, thoughts and, most importantly, your feelings in the recent time" – you took a long pause – "so you can be more honest with your responses in the next three days we’ll spend together. Night night, David” 

"What? Wait! Three whole motherfucking days here?!” Dave was equally outraged and concerned. “I’m hungry! And…” - he hesitated and lowered his voice – “What about going to the bathroom and…?”

Two sliding doors opened almost in unison. One, small and by the bed, produced a tray with some delicious seafood dish, a glass of Chardonnay and a generous portion of Creme Brulee. The other entrance, bigger and near the main gate, showed him a luxurious bathroom, with a change of comfortable clothes and toiletries.

“You have two hours until the lights are off”

Day ONE

Daylight bathed the cell and Dave was surprised by how soundly he had slept. It must have been some residual effect from whatever tranquilizer they gave him before getting him in the jet. Or was it maybe that he felt comfortable? Bullshit. He was the renowned CIA agent David York and this was a dangerous situation. Even infatuated as you claimed to be, you were a threat. And, come on… you didn’t mean anything to him. He’s had his pretty decent share of affairs and he had come to terms with his cheating asshole condition. You were no different from the parade of office girls who begged on their knees for one more night of cuffs, lube and discarded condoms, right?

Right.

Still in bed, Dave looked longingly in the direction of the food door, mentally begging for a black coffee, no sugar, scrambled eggs and bacon. Not knowing the time was slowly driving him crazy. He trusted his appetite and the sun elevation angle to say it was close to noon. Of who knows what day but it was something. He went to the bathroom and freshened up.

“Uhmm.. Hello?” — Dave talked to the air, in the hopes you presented once more, vocally. Not that he was particularly interested in hearing your voice again or anything. “I could use some breakfast, you know? By the way, dinner last night was awesome. If you tell me where we are, I would highly recommend this place on TripAdvisor!” 

Nothing.

Nada.

Wait.

There was something.

Suddenly, and as if he was in a real hotel and some nextdoor honeymooners were doing what honeymooners usually do in hotels, Dave started to hear some lewd sounds coming from somewhere nearby. At first, it was barely audible, which made it difficult to pinpoint the source. But it rose to a crescendo, getting higher, clearer. Hotter. Dave realized it was not coming from any place near the cell but from the speakers crowning his prisoner bed. 

“Give it to me, daddy…! Ohh…Fuckfuckfuckfuck… Yesyesyesyeyes!”

It was you. You were fucking some random dude and broadcasting it live and in stereo. For him to be the only audience.

"Ooooh Gooood…Yeaaah… Harder! Please! Please! Pleaaaase! I’m so close! Make me come! No one can make me come like you, daddy…!” 

Dave was standing in the middle of the room, hands on the hips, smiling and shaking his head in disbelief. If this was your strategy, it was beyond pathetic. The skin slapping skin sound was getting louder and faster. You sounded so satisfied, kept moaning and begging. Dave had to admit that the guy was doing a great job. He wasn’t saying a word, he was just panting and grunting. There was something about him though. The noises he was making, the pace he was fucking you… The only sexual activity Dave had eavesdropped in his life was his dorm roommate, back in college, 25 years ago. And after all that time, he still recalled it was a lousy job. So, even though there were no parameters to be based on, in this case, Dave could strangely tell, just by listening to his performance, that for this guy it wasn’t just sex. What a loser, putting so much care into making you come, probably watching your face in ecstasy, proud of himself, thinking you’d adore him afterwards…

You came. Hard. 

“What are you doing?” – Dave was done.

A giant screen popped up from one of the walls, revealing some truly NSFW scenes. So it was not just audio after all. There you were… and Dave York, fucking you senseless, chasing his own high in that Colorado cabin, last time you were together. 

“You mean, what are we doing?” – you sounded so full of yourself. 

“Take it off” – He was watching the video, weirdly mesmerized. - “Take. It. Off”

“Oh but here comes the best part! - You imitated a little girl who didn’t want to go to sleep.

“Take it off. Or I will “ – Dave grabbed the chair and walked in a menacing way towards the screen.

His movements in the video were frantic. His beautifully formed butt, hammering between your legs, was the star of the piece.  He was about to watch himself reaching orgasm, with a woman who wasn’t his wife. What a piece of shit he was.

“Ooooh fuuuuuuck… unnngh… I fuck…ing.. I... fucking LOVE YOU…”

Dave dropped the chair and the screen went to black. It’s not that he didn’t remember saying that. The problem was that he had been trying to forget that he said it. He composed himself.

“You gotta be kidding me…” – he chuckled and calmly returned the chair to its place – “Really? What’s your point with all this?” 

“I think it’s quite obvious, David” – you lit up a cigarette and reclined in your leather armchair. 

“You know? I thought you were crazy, but with this, you’ve exceeded my expectations”  – Dave didn’t try to conceal his rage anymore – “Do you really believe that the shit we say during sex is meaningful?!”

“I have a question for you, Dave. If this thing between us was nothing, why didn’t you stop calling me? Because let me remind you that it was you who looked for me. Not the other way around” 

You were right. He desperately tried to find a plausible answer to your question. “Well, I guess it´s because you´re a great fuck, Q.”

“I am. In fact, I absolutely excel in bed. ” – You paused – “And yet, none of all the men I’ve been with, not a single one of those motherfuckers really wanted to see me again after a couple of times” 

Dave remained in silence.

“Oh but you were only ‘having fun’ with me for, what? Almost 2 years now? – Yes, you were counting –  “Until you cut me off completely, last week. Excuse me for only being sensical at reading this situation, York"

He had to admit you were right.

 “So tell me… What happened? Little Carol found out about your feelings?”

“Don’t you bring Carol into this…”

“Oh but she already is! What was it? – You fake a gasp – Did you say my name while making love to her tenderly…?”

“Shut up!” – Dave almost growled. 

“Sorry” – you said, sincerely.

“What?” 

“I don’t want to antagonize you, Dave. It’s just…”

“Yeah. I guess that’s why you kidnapped me…” 

“You gave me no choice, Dave. Look, I know you think I’m a heartless woman. I myself thought I was. This is my desperate measure, to my desperate times. I love you. – You fought the impending tears with all your strength – And call me crazy all you want, but I know for sure you love me back. That’s why you ghosted me. It scares the shit out of you feeling something like this for someone like me.”

Dave couldn’t think of any explanatory response. Because, in fact, he had none.

The little door suddenly opened, showing a bistec with a colorful salad, his non-optional lunch offer for the day, that went uneventful after your mic turned off.   

Day TWO

Nothing had happened since the dawn of that second day. Dave hoped you were having second thoughts and maybe were planning on releasing him. He also questioned himself if that’s what he wanted. After a quick shower, he noticed night had finally fallen in whatever place this majestic prison was located. He had no clue what time it was and, honestly, he didn’t give a fuck anymore. While laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, which was the only entertainment he could find, Carol and the girls suddenly came to his mind. What would they be doing right now? He felt for them. Even though he had long come to accept that he didn’t love Carol anymore, he truly valued her. She was a great woman, a perfect mother, and at this point, a resilient wife. And his daughters… They were the most beautiful beings he could have produced and the only decent footprint he will leave on this Earth. What would they think of him if he divorced their mom? Dave mentally punched himself for considering that.

Complete darkness swallowed the cell. Of course, it was getting late for the daily event. All lights went dead except for the big screen that suddenly started showing some CCTV images. It was Dave’s street. 

“Have you been to my home too, Q? Pfff, I don’t know why I’m surprised…”

There was not a comeback from your part. 

After a few minutes, it was clear that the footage was an edition from different days, but at similar hours. Dave realized that in those cuts there was something concerning. The same man appeared  to be jogging, but discreetly glancing at his house. Everyday. He was wearing different sporty outfits and anyone could think he was simply a neighbor trying to be fit. But for the trained eye of Dave York, it was easy to understand that that guy was something else. Something dangerous.

“Do you remember the job I got you, 6 months ago, for that Qatar minister? You and your men failed, Dave. They launched an investigation over the dude. And he eventually had to resign. Guess what? He isn’t the forgiving type. He came to me and asked for your personal inform…”

“You put my family in danger, you fucking psycho?!” Have you lost your mind?

“Do you really think that your family would still be alive had I done that, York? 

“Q, you have to let me go” – Dave didn't want to joke anymore – “I need to warn them. Please, let me just do this and I promise, I swear on their lives, you can do whatever you want with me afterwards. Please.” 

That pleading made you fall even more in love with him. 

Dave kept watching the footage, terrified of what could be coming next. The video was fast forwarded and he could see as the jogger, who was running his usual target street, crouched and pretended to tie his shoelaces. All of the sudden, he disappeared behind a white van that passed by him and slowed down right where he was. He never reappeared after the van kept on going. A knife was left abandoned on the pavement. Exactly 15 seconds after that, the Mercedes with Carol and the girls turned around the corner, coming back from school. Now Dave remembered the night his wife had commented how weird it was finding that knife in the middle of their street. Dave didn't think anything of it.

"Sometimes I ponder how easy and convenient it would've been for me to let that "tragedy" to happen"

"What about Al-Salim? He could send more people…"

"He fell into depression. And sadly took his own life back in Qatar, the very afternoon this healthy man suffered a heart attack, at the entrance of the George Washington hospital. Dark coincidence, don't you think?"

Dave was at a loss for words for the longest moment. He couldn’t quite wrap his head around what you’d done for his family. For him. 

"I guess… you don't need my services anymore. It seems like now I can hire you for this kind of job. Thank you, Q" 

The screen went dead and it was pitch black again. Dave didn't know what to expect anymore.

"Aren't you curious about how I hacked your security camera?  And your home intranet, DIA agent?" – your tone was playful again.

Your voice wasn’t coming through the speakers anymore but from right outside his cell. Like in a theatrical performance, the beam of a projector somehow lit up only you and your body. There you were, no make up, loose hair, sitting on a kitchen chair and wearing nothing but a white long dress. The powerful lightning made you look like a sexy specter. 

“How are you Dave? Comfortable, I hope” – You crossed your legs and adopted the pose of a therapist who was about to have her first session with a new patient. 

“I’m sitting in the dark. I like it” – Dave was not lying. 

“I suppose you do. Tell me, do you also sit in the dark at home, late at night, when you Google me?

“Oh, please… Don’t flatter yourself, Killer Q”

“Please, your Honor! I have some unmistakable evidence to substantiate my case…”

You stood up and the projector revealed, over your curves, recordings from a computer screen, where your name appeared, over and over again, in searchings with a variety of word combinations that ultimately lead to the same topic: your romantic life. Your name + the terms “boyfriend”, “dating”, “partners”, “love life”, “marriage plans”, “past relationships”. 

 Dave felt his face on fire and thanked the darkness for concealing it.

“That could be anyone's computer”

The images of the hacked screen then changed to a divided layout of his deceitful puppy eyes, his hands on the keyboard in which he was entering the terms, all matching the dates and times of the searches you previously and sensually had helped showcasing. 

“I think that’s your computer, agent York.”

You got up and came closer to the cell, took down the dress straps, one at the time, and let it fall to the floor. You could barely see Dave but you could sense his eyes roaming your naked body. Neither of you said a word. You ceremoniously came back to the chair and sat again, feeling the wetness that had been accumulating since he had thanked you for saving his family. 

“I just know it, Dave. Please, just say it” – you begged with hooded eyes.

The projector was now bathing you with a soft shade of pink, matching the glistening between your legs, on full display for your prisoner to see. When you started circling your clit, your nipples rock hard even before getting undressed, you knew you were not going to last. On the other side of the bars, Dave was breathing heavily and his bulge began pulsing. He didn’t want to, he couldn’t give in to the need to pull his cock out and get himself off to the magnificent scene he was witnessing. He had always thought your body was glorious, even with your scars. Maybe, because of them. 

“Baby… Mmmm… can’t you see? This is… all… yours… Oh… I… am yours…”

You were stabbing your cunt with two fingers, curving them at the right place, at the right rhythm. The sounds you were making, increasingly wetter, desperately faster. One foot on the ground, the other stepping on the spindle, you had definitely used that wooden chair for sinful exercises before. And your moans echoed in the room where Dave was. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, gulping and palming himself, fully erect and finally doing what he very much had resisted. You could hear him and it turned you on even more. Almost standing up, you went back to your clit, frantically rubbing it, keeping your eyes fixed in Dave’s direction. When he saw you come, it was like looking at some goddess sculpture, with a gaping mouth expression, frozen in ecstasy for a few seconds, screaming his name right after. Spitting his hand and fisting himself, once, twice, thrice, Dave spilled his seed all over the tile floor. Panting and slightly sweating, still in the dark, he watched you approach the cell again, still naked and with a satisfied grin on your face. Your hand, still covered in your juices, went straight to grab one of the door metal bars and smudge it with your flavor. Then, you picked up your dress, gave Dave one last look and left. Everything went dark again. But before any light would turn on and gave him away, Dave rushed to the door and licked what you had left for him.   

Later in the shower he had to take care of himself for a second time.  

Day THREE

A huge smash woke Dave from one of the best sleepings he had had in a long time. The lack of proper rest in the past 48 hours had been highly balanced out by the self pleasure activities shared with you the previous night. In his haze, he could hear that there was some commotion out there but, again, he was unable to determine the source. “What is it gonna be today…” He rubbed his eyes and then rolled them. 

Dave stood up and walked to the door, grabbed the bars and listened closely. There were two voices. They were arguing. And it didn’t sound pretty. “You don’t understand! It’s not because of you! That was definitely your voice. “Why the fuck do you even bother? With him? I always stood by you, you ungrateful bitch…!” 

Chet. 

Wait. Was that a lovers’ quarrel? Dave was baffled. He had always thought your loyal lieutenant was a rampant homosexual.  “Chet, stop it, please!” You sounded more and more scared, on the verge of tears, almost. Dave’s heart started racing, his knuckles turning white while squeezing the bars of the door. It was like Chet was bringing the whole house down. Glass crashing, furniture flying, walls being punched. Then Dave heard a slap and a muffled gasp. And he lost it. 

“Cheeeet! You coward piece of shit, leave her alone!!! You want me??? Here I am!! Come and get me, fucker!!!” 

Dave started furiously kicking the bars, of course, to no avail. He searched and searched, for some sign of a door opening device, while he kept hearing your screamings. He scanned the cell and looked at the chair. The window. He probably was not going to be able to break it, or fit into it but at that point anything was worth trying. He stepped on the chair when suddenly everything went quiet. Fearing the worst, he stepped down. The screen turned on and there it was your face. Dave York never thought the day would come when he’d get to see you in such a state. Your hair in disarray, reddened puffy eyes, bloody lips and sheer terror plastered in your expresion. Still so beautiful. You were whispering to the camera installed in the control room from where you clearly operated all these days, looking to your side every five seconds, afraid of Chet entering any minute. 

“I’m so sorry Dave! – you were sobbing but quickly tried to get yourself together – “There’s a panel… uhm… hidden, on the inside wall… it's the right side… No! Sorry! Sorry! Left side by the cell door! You give it a little push and…” – you froze and glanced at your flank –  “It will show a big red button…You push it and it will open the door. Please, you gotta help me, please! He’s gonna kill me, Dave…! Forgive me, I was so stup…”

Suddenly, a giant hand grabbed you by the hair and yanked you out of the frame. The screen went dark.

Dave heard three gunshots somewhere nearby.

He rushed to the door and followed your instructions. Once he was free he ran like a madman. He didn’t recognize himself, feeling a desperation so uncommon for a cold mercenary like he had been for so long. It was corridor after corridor, and they all looked the same. The walls were slightly curved, lacking any pictures or decoration. The little windows above his head, just like in his cell, provided great lightning, but he couldn't help thinking it was like being inside a pantheon. He tried one door, then another. And another. They were all locked. It resembled a mental facility, Greek style. At last, Dave reached a T turn and when he looked, it was a long corridor on both sides. But to the left there was something he hadn't encountered so far: an opened door. In fact, it was ajar. Dave came to the frightening realization that Chet could still be around, armed. While he only had his bare hands. He cautiously entered and came across your control center. A dozen monitors, a camera, a microphone and a tumbled armchair. Some screens were still transmitting video from different parts of the house and Dave instinctively looked for the one broadcasting from his dungeon. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you, laying still on the California King. Dave didn’t stay to check on your state through the monitor but ran through the door and raced the corridors again, trying to remember the path back to the place he had been for the past three days. Were you passed out? Or were you dead? Focus, Dave. Hurry up. 

“Wow. For someone who only had fun with me, that’s… pretty moving, baby”

Dave had run so fast the last part of the hallway leading to the cell, that he virtually bounced on the ending wall. It would’ve been almost comedical if he hadn’t launched like an animal to the now closed jail door. When he desperately looked inside it, there you were. Unharmed, gorgeous, laying on your belly holding your head with your hands, looking at Dave with innocent eyes. Naked. He was trying to catch his breath, holding the metal bars, looking down. A smile, one that you had never seen on him, appeared on his face when he lifted his head and gazed at you. 

“Let me in” – Dave said in a deep whisper. His smile was gone and his eyes were almost black. 

“Have you had enough time to think about our conversations…?” 

“Let me in” 

“You know? I’m not so sure… What are your plans to spend this lovely afternoon in this cozy space with… me?”

“I want to eat”

Your cunt pulsed at those words. Dave looked indeed like a vampire.

You stood up and went to the opening panel, taking your time, walking painfully close to Dave, cold metal as the only barrier preventing him from pouncing on you. You finally gave a push to the red button and the cell was open. Dave stood still, leaning on the threshold. 

“This isn't what I signed up for when I joined the DIA”

“What?  Consorting with criminals…?”

“Falling for the fiercest of them” 

Dave charged and lifted you in one powerful move. And you held onto him for dear life, your mouth colliding with his, so happy you could cry. You locked your legs around him while he carried you until you both crashed against the nearest wall. Dave stopped for air. He caressed your cheek and took a good look at your face, every inch of it, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening. He once again tried to devour your lips but you put your fingers on his mouth. 

“Wait... Can I ask you something?

“Fire up” 

You both giggled.

“I don’t want you to fuck me…” 

“But…” 

“I want you to make love to me”

Dave's perplexed reaction turned to a sassy one. 

“How many orgasms do you think you can handle?”

“Five”

“I like those odds” 

He put you down, laid back on the bed and went upwards in the direction of the headboard. 

“Up, Q”

You moaned loudly when you sat on his face and Dave started his attack on your pussy. His tongue had been there hundreds of times now. And yet it felt like it was the first time he was licking and sucking your folds like that. 

“Oh my.. God… Dave… Keep going, like that, please, oooh please…!”

His brown eyes alternated between being open and fixed on you and closed due to the pleasure. The noises he was making, how your juices began dripping down his stubble, the way he was gripping your thighs, everything had you riding him like there was no tomorrow. 

“Dave, baby… Unnngh… I’m… Mmmmcoming… Please, make me come…”

Instead of fulfilling your wish, he pushed you away, making you lose your balance and falling on your back. But you didn’t even have time to protest since Dave was on you again, turning you around, on all fours. You felt his still clothed erection grazing your ass. 

“Are you ready to receive my love, Q…? – He cooed in your ear. 

“Yes, yes, YES!”

“All of it?”

“Give it to me…” –you sounded almost pathetic. 

You heard him taking off his shirt and sweatpants and then slapping his cock. Ass up, your wetness was now going down your legs. Proudly licking his lips, where he could still taste you, Dave teased your entrance with the tip of his length and you squeezed the sheets in desperation. You cried his name when he entered you and couldn’t breath when he started his thrusting. Slapslapslapslap. His big hands sank in your flesh, keeping you in place so your face was pressed to the mattress, muffling your whimpers. Dave then lifted you, tenderly embracing you from behind and also reaching your clit and circling it with expertise. 

“Are you close, baby? Hmmm? Talk to me…” 

“Yes baby, I think I’m… explode… am” – you weren’t coherent anymore.

“Lay back…”

He gently pulled you back, making you lean on him, both now seated on the bed.

“Open your legs, Q. Open them wide”

You obeyed. Dave put one hand on the bed for support and the other one went straight between your legs. When you realized what he had in mind, you granted him more access, placing your hips forward. 

 “Two. Or three?” 

“Three… is my lucky… number” 

He then started fingering you. He went in and out frantically, making sure he was properly hooking his fingers to get to the patch of heaven inside your vagina. Your eyes went to the back of your head and you were unable to make any sound. Dave wished there was a mirror in front of the two of you so he could witness your cute O face. All of the sudden, a loud squelching echoed across the room and Dave grinned in anticipation. 

“Here it comes, baby. Alright baby, alright, baby. Come on now” 

“Ooooohhh mmmm... Ghhhhhhhaaaaah!!!!!

You felt indeed like something had exploded out of you. It was liquid pleasure like you had never experienced before. It kept on leaking, down your legs, down the bed, down Dave´s hand. You weren’t sure how to feel or what to do next. Dave continued encouraging you, kissing your earlobe and cradling you in his chest, waiting for you to get down from your high. When you were back on Earth again, you turned around and looked him in the eye.

“Love me, Dave”

He flipped you over, kissed you lovingly, fist himself a couple of times and entered you. His pace was now slow, with a calm he had barely known in his whole life, in any aspect of it. How long he’d pretended you were merely a substance trader who happened to cross his path of illicit choices. You kept your eyes open. You wanted to make sure he was there, that he was real. That he was David York. The mercenary, the federal impostor, the cheating husband, the lover you never thought you deserve. That this wasn’t another of your sex fantasies at night. 

“I love you, Killer Q”

Dave increased his rhythm. 

“Say it again”

“I. Fuckin. Love. You”

“Come for me, daddy”

Dave thrusts became erratic, his breathing increasingly difficult. You held his face, forcing him to look at you.

“I’m here, baby. Look at me. Give me everything you got. Fill me in”

Those words did the job. Dave groaned deep and long, as he spurted his hot load inside you. But he was not finished. With what was left of his magic, he intended to make you come one more time. In and out, in and out, in and out, just at the right angle, to burn your clit one more time. 

And it happened that you burst into tears as you orgasmed. Dave kissed them dry.  

“Don’t cry, Q.” – Dave stared at you adoringly –”Thank you”

“For what…?” You used the pillow case as a Kleenex.

“To show me what an idiot I’ve been all this time. I really deserve being hurt by Chet. Hopefully, he’s not around...”

You laughed.

“He’s with one of the new boys”

“Training him?”

“I don’t think so…”

[helluvascribe]

Heavenly Boss S1 E4: D.I.A.B.L.O.

Oh, hello. Docile here, welcome back to Heaven! I know things were a bit wild and confusing last time. Let me try and explain a bit.

Apparently the first Heaven’s blessing company C.H.E.R.U.B. had been under the guidance of one of my previous bosses, Kiva. I don’t know why anyone would approve of her, other than she’s famous for her singing in both Heavens. Instead of spreading faith and love, she wanted more fame and a chance to create her own world on Earth. She briefly used the cherubs’ powers to revive certain people on Earth and kill off others deemed “unworthy” in God’s eyes. There is a good reason why no one should bring back the dead. Even C.H.E.R.U.B. and my company E.L.F. know that would only cause overpopulation, war, and an alteration of history. It broke my heart when we had to reverse the damage Kiva had done. In the process, we freed C.H.E.R.U.B. from Kiva’s influence, Tirred from her influence and sent the dead back to the other side. We also had to erase the memories of the event from the mortals for obvious reasons. Thankfully, Deerie just straight up banished Kiva and her group…I heard they got arrested on Earth, but I have a feeling they may come back.

Tirred’s been experiencing a few struggles with getting over the event. He had given into his desire for more status and like many angels in Heaven, he tends to see demons as “lesser than.” He’s being monitored under supervision for a bit just in case, but I think he can fix up his attitude…mostly.

Recently, I got an update on how C.H.E.R.U.B. is doing. They had failed to save the life of a greedy inventor and were banished to Earth. I have a bad feeling that they’ll get corrupted in Hell and return for revenge against their I.M.P. rivals. I’m all for keeping I.M.P. in line to try and stop their horrible mass murders, but fighting fire with fire usually doesn’t end well. Although I think that indigo sheep, Collin, has the purest heart of the three.

So far, we’ve been doing business in Heaven as usual: record keeping on human life, plus spreading God’s words of good faith (and trying to leave out the bad messages of “ditch your loser friends who you can’t use.”) There’s a difference between leading cooperatively and leading selfishly. True leadership requires lifting others up as well as yourself. I guess our Heavenly Father doesn’t trust anyone else due to Lucifer trying to take His throne all those centuries ago. Paperwork is always tedious but it must be done. I know our business tithers between legal and illegal, but we’ll deal with any consequences that may arise. My job is my passion, and my employees are like my family.

Right now, my team and I are discussing some ways to meet and collaborate with C.H.E.R.U.B. I think they need some guidance on properly interacting with humans. Plus, I think Sunna and I are tempted to give those cute cherubs some hugs. Truthfully, I hope we can get to them before they “sink further down,” if you catch my drift. Ideally, C.H.E.R.U.B. could stay on Earth and continue protecting humanity. Or we could provide them with sanctuary in our Heaven. The first option seems more likely due to both Deerie’s rules and interdimensional complications. It’s very rare for an individual to travel to the parallel universes…and Earth is in the middle of all the Heavens and Hells!

But hey, surely it’s worth a try, right?

Sunna was peacefully sleeping on one of the chairs around the smooth table at E.L.F. headquarters. The elves were seated in their spots with Docile at the head of the table.

“Alright guys,” he said. “This is a very important mission. With Lord Gabriel’s help, I’ve pinpointed C.H.E.R.U.B.’s location to be in a forest near a lake, not too far from that inventor’s old mansion.” He pointed to certain spots on a holographic map in front of them. “It appears they briefly stayed in a church for sanctuary last December and are now trying to stay low. Gabriel said they had been helping other humans in secret but haven’t gotten rid of their desires for acknowledgement, praise, and material gains.” 

“Hold up,” said Tirred with his usual yawn. “I thought that C.H.E.R.U.B. never asks for any fees.”

“That is true, but I’m talking about what they seek. The three cherubs were raised in a culture that values perfection, reward, and the pursuit of happiness…”

Tirred coughed, “Americans,” which earned him a glare from his boss.

Docile continued, “Even Heaven’s citizens have flaws of their own. Selfishness exists in everyone, no matter how altruistic they try to be. C.H.E.R.U.B. knows that if they spread love, they can also feel good about themselves. But they always expect something in return for their work. Money, praise, God’s grace, whatever it is. The point is, they never help others just for the sake of doing so.”

“That actually makes sense,” Timmid added, brushing back her short white hair. “I wonder if they were so quick to collaborate with us because they just wanted us to promote their company.”

“Which is what we’re randomly doing instead of, you know…worrying about ourselves in our reality!" Tirred added, waving his hands for emphasis. “We shouldn’t have to care about some other cheesy company.”

Sunna happily mumbled “cheese” in her sleep.

“You have a good point Tirred, but this is different,” Docile elaborated. “C.H.E.R.U.B. may be from another realm, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t at least try to help them out. Remember that we help humans and angels alike when we can.”

“We can’t help everybody,” Tirred said. “Especially those humans and demons who…”

“We’re not talking about them,” Docile added, holding up a hand. “There’s no need to be a downer when I’m trying to spread light onto a dire situation here, okay?”

Tirred crossed his arms. “I’m helping you see the reality of things. The other angelic orders won’t approve of this. Especially since traveling to the parallel realms is forbidden!”

“And the reality is that we will continue on with this mission because it’s the right thing to do,” Docile argued, standing his ground. “It is our job to help those in need, no matter how bizarre the situation may be. So for your sake, I suggest you keep yourself in line.”

Tirred grumbled and backed away slightly. Docile sighed and straightened up.

“Plus, we aren’t traveling to the other Heaven. We’re going to Earth. That’s where C.H.E.R.U.B. is.” He glanced over at the large leather-bound Bible that allowed them to travel to Earth. He didn’t know how much longer Azrael and Samuel would allow him to keep it, but hopefully a bit longer. 

“Won’t we need disguises again?” Timmid asked. “Or Sunna?”

“I think we’ll be alright with going in our true forms,” said Docile. “But remember to lay low and stick together. After all, C.H.E.R.U.B. will be in their regular forms…might as well meet angel to angel.”

“Okay,” said Timmid.

There was a knock on the door, which startled Sunna awake. “Guys, do you hear that?”

“That was the door,” called Timmid.

Sunna walked over and opened it. “Hello,” she said as two men entered. One was short and fat, the other was tall and thin.

“Are those…supervillains?” asked Timmid.

“More like superheroes!” called the thin man. He had an elegant white mustache and white-gray skin. He wore a white top hat with a purple brim and old-time glasses with purple lens. His suit was white with a large purple cross in the center, the arrow pointing up. His boots were purple, and his cape was light blue.

The squat man beside him wore a white suit with thin blue lines on it with a beige collar. He wore a white bowler hat with a blue trim and white rimmed glasses with teal lens. His mustache was black, and his skin was white-gray. Both men had halos and white wings.

“I’m Straight Nate!” greeted the thin man. “Craftsman of all things straight and narrow! This is my partner, Kyle Kipton!”

“Nice to meet you both!” Docile said, shaking their hands. “How’d you get into Heaven?”

Nate explained. “I wasn’t always a young man. Kyle and I ran Kyle-Nate Tools, a local shop for farmers. Earlier today, we were giving food, eggs, and farming equipment to the poor. We could’ve saved so many. We both got involved in our job and felt so much younger than before. It was marvelous! Turns out that Lyle Lipton’s anti-aging machine in his factory was sending out rays that made us younger and younger by the day. Our customers soon grew suspicious when we suddenly appeared as children. Both of us were almost handed over to the police. We raced toward Lyle’s place, hoping to get back to our normal ages. But before we could reach him, the mob had cornered us with torches and pitchforks. We refused to give them what they wanted and they…killed me. It was a miracle that Lyle’s machine secrets didn’t get out. Everyone believed the mobsters to be crazy. Thanks to some angel magic, no one else sought to be young again.”

“I died shortly after Nate,” said Kyle. “Almost thought about taking my life, but Covid 19 did that for me.”

“Sorry,” said Sunna.

“Brother bucking Covid ruins everything!” Docile spat.

“Wait,” Tirred asked. “If you turned into children, why do you look so…”

“Wise?” Kyle finished with a shrug. “Who knows? Age doesn’t matter for saints up here. We stay the same age as when we died on Earth like the sinners do in Hell.”

“Well, that story was a load of rubbish,” Tirred scoffed.

“Don’t be rude,” Sunna chided.

“It’s alright,” Nate said. “Kyle and I are trying to figure out what do to next now that we’re in Heaven. I wonder if there are any farms around that could use our help.”

“I’ve never heard of farms in the sky before,” Kyle said.

“Well Heaven has a whole society like Hell does, so schools, farms, houses, pretty much anything from all time periods exist here,” said Docile.

“Have you heard of the Canadians?” asked Sunna. “They are anti-cannibals, against eating meat in all forms. A bunch of French-speaking vegetarian cultured folk. A bit eccentric. They make the best maple syrup and host the best air hockey games. You know, literally in the air…”

Nate rolled his eyes. “People are so quick to judge these days.”

On a nearby television screen, a commercial showed a dark teal skinned elf wearing a black outfit and a black hat, twirling a cane. “Are you looking for work to make solemn stories and formal films? Well call me at Sully Sirius’ Serious Idea Studios, where you can create art and get rich! The one who makes the best creation will receive two free tickets for Woo-Hoo Land! But still…I have standards for heaven’s sake!” A brief clip showed Sully selling holy water bottles at the theme park.

“Wierdo,” muttered Kyle.

“Well, I wish you two the best of luck up here,” said Docile. “Thanks for stopping by.”

“Anytime,” said Nate. Nate and Kyle waved goodbye before exiting out the door.

Docile turned to a winged cherub deer.

“You think we’ll succeed in our mission?”

“Yeah, oh yes, yes, yes!” Doe-Doe trilled genuinely, typing notes on an iPad while wearing yellow overalls. “Go beyond the rules and you do you! Yeah!”

0 0 0

Docile, Tirred and Timmid stood outside in front of their headquarters building, the heavenly sky shining down above them. The white building and the golden wing designs attached to it shone brightly in the light. Tirred briefly glanced enviously beyond a wrought iron golden gate toward the direction of the silver Holy City surrounded by glowing halos. Timmid took a deep breath and flipped through the Bible until coming across a passage to create a portal to Earth. After she chanted and drew a teal blue sigil with chalk, a gap opened. A fearful Timmid led the way through, while Docile and Tirred followed.

The trio arrived at the vast meadow surrounded by forest trees and the shining lake. The sun shone brightly in the sky while a few white clouds dotted the horizon. Several birds chirped on nearby hanging branches, while brown squirrels and rabbits hopped along the grassy plain.

Docile sniffed the air deeply and sighed. “Nature truly is a wonderful thing. There’s something so genuine about Earth that makes it so…vast and beautiful.”

Tirred rolled his eyes. “Heaven will always be the superior place. It has marvelous light, gold, angels and the Almighty of course.”

“But the living world is unique in its own way. It’s the birthplace of all the saints and sinners. They make up the majority of the afterlife. Without this place, Heaven and Hell alike wouldn’t function the way they do now. No technology, no flare, no diversity. Our current worlds today are what some mortals call a ‘melting pot.’ Different ingredients tossed together into one societal dish.”

“Blast, boss! Enough with your metaphorical mumbo-jumbo,” Tirred sighed, briefly tugging his pointed ears in frustration. “Do you even realize what could happen if we meet with other beings too long? Reality itself…”

He imitated an explosion.

Timmid laughed a bit. “Who’s spewing mumbo-jumbo now?” She playfully elbowed Tirred. “Relax, Tir. Docile knows what he’s doing. It’s risky but it’s for the greater good.”

“Greater good, my ass,” he muttered.

“If you wanna get your good ass kicked, then be my guest,” Timmid wiggled her eyebrows playfully as Tirred turned red in the face.

Docile summoned his golden staff and slowly moved it in the air in front of him. The staff tip briefly glowed when he aimed it at a lower part of the hill. He spotted something small and white flying in the same direction. Docile mentioned for his coworkers to follow. They headed down the hill until they arrived at a white park bench. There were some passersby walking their dogs or chatting on their cell phones. Several women pushed strollers around, while a child tossed breadcrumbs for the ducks. The paths were lined with streetlamps and red rose bushes.

Just then, Docile spotted a flying boy and two-winged sheep sitting close together on a bench. No one seemed to pay them any mind.

“Bingo!” Docile grinned.

The periwinkle sheep Collin sat and examined the park. The yellow sheep Keenie straightened up her yellow dress and red bow. The light pink-haired Cletus sat in the middle in his reddish overalls, looking bored. Several white feathers fell off their wings and their halos flickered.

“I don’t understand,” Cletus said dejectedly. “We’ve done all we can to make amends. We’ve saved people, gave them advice, and lived among the humans. Why can’t we go back?”

Collin sniffed as tears started to trickle down his face. “Why can’t Deerie let us back? We were doing so well in Heaven. Our clients and the humans were always grateful for the work we did.”

Keenie stamped one of her hooves. “It’s so not fair! Deerie didn’t even give us a chance. She just sent us here to suffer and rubbed it in our faces!”

“If only that filthy imp leader didn’t blind me during the battle,” Cletus scowled. “Killing Lyle was just an accident. I was this close to eliminating them on the spot!”

“Killing is a bad thing,” Collin mentioned, straightening up. “Our job is never to kill, but to save and spread love!”

“Like I said before Collin, you still joined us in shooting at our rivals,” said Cletus. “Eliminating the threat is sometimes necessary.”

“We also have Exorcists for a reason,” Keenie added. “To eliminate all those shitty sinners and keep both Earth and Heaven safe from them. Those Hell table scraps are just as bad as them, if not worse!”

“W-w-whatever happened to ‘thou shalt not kill?’ ’Love thy neighbor?’” Collin asked, flying up and staring hard at his companions.

The cherubs hovered in the air.

“Those demons aren’t our neighbors,” Cletus told Collin.

“I know that, but still, we could’ve at least taken the fight outside the opera theater! Oh, and maybe saved that singer, too.”

“When the imps were in the way, right there?” Keenie asked. “We had to watch over Lyle, too.”

“We had to save his life at any cost,” Cletus said, leaning in.

“B-b-but we didn’t, didn’t we?” Collin finished. “We all played a part in our fate and now in a few days, we’ll be down below facing our worst nightmares!”

Collin broke down into hysterical sobs, as Keenie wrapped him in a hug. “Oh Collin…”

The cherubs flew off toward the open meadow, leaving the park behind and looking around.

Just then, E.L.F. made their entrance in front of them, floating down gracefully on white wings in their own beams of sparkly light. Docile was in the center, Tirred to his right, Timmid to his left. Spiked white halos hung over their heads. C.H.E.R.U.B. stared quizzically at them.

Keenie glared. “Go away, demons! We’re tired of seeing you in your silly costumes!”

“You here to m-m-mock us some more?” Collin asked in anger.

“We come in peace…” Docile began but didn’t finish. Cletus let out a combination of mournful cries and yells to the sky, causing the nearby humans to glare at them and scatter away.

“You won’t get away with this, I.M.P.! You’ll pay for what you did to us and the humans you slaughtered!”

Cletus finished his cries when a sudden force knocked everyone backwards. They straightened themselves up in the air. The ground broke apart and a column of red, orange, and yellow flames shot up from the opening.

E.L.F. and C.H.E.R.U.B. looked in wide-eyed terror at three small shadowy figures hovering forward through the flames. Three shadows with glowing yellow eyes.

“You seek revenge and are thirsty for blood?” came a low choir of voices.

The flames vanished, revealing a demonic trio. A pointed tail, sharp yellow teeth, a clawed hand holding a black Satanic book...

“We can help satiate your desires…”

The leader appeared, looking like a twisted version of Cletus. He had teal fluffy hair and pale white skin, his teeth sharp and yellow. His eyes were large and yellow with white sclera. He was chubby like Cletus but instead of angelic wings, he had small black bat wings with long red veins within the flaps. He wore a dark blue undershirt, a black shirt collar and teal-colored overalls, plus brown boots. Two reddish orange horns curved down to meet his chin. He put away his black Satanic book.

The corrupted Collin counterpart took the appearance of a bulky anthropomorphic yellow ram. His furry hooves were tan colored with sickly yellowish tips. He wore a wine-colored red suit with a black bow tie under his thick neck. His undershirt was orange with an upside down black cross in the center. Sheathed under a black belt was a gun, a dagger, and a few other weapons. His teeth, eyes and face were all a dull yellow, although a few black dots rested under his left eye. Ogre-like ears stuck out around his head of thick black wool. Protruding in curves from his head were two thick, crimson-colored ram horns with little lines running down the surface. Little black wings held him in the air.

The last diablo was a blue anthropomorphic ram and Keenie’s dark counterpart. Her hooves were purple with dark green tips. Her dress was dark blue with a green bow around it. Her dress moved from blue to various shades of green and teal, becoming lighter at the ends. The hem of her dress was torn and gave the appearance of blue flames as part of the design. Black gloves covered her hands like an executioner’s. She grinned with yellow sharp teeth against a dark blue face. Her eyes had dark orange pupils, teal irises and white sclera. Her wild hair was a lighter shade of blue, moving like flames in the wind. Like her companions, she had black bat wings and curved red-orange ram horns. All the diablos could also grow pointed tails and retract them.

The leader sneered. “Surely you’ve heard of us. You saw our commercial, didn’t you?”

“What commercial?” Docile asked.

0 0 0

A large Leviathan monster opened its mouth wide, revealing sharp teeth, a long slimy tongue, and a dark throat. The camera zoomed into the darkness before a red light appeared at the end of the tunnel. A bleak world with a red sky was revealed. A futuristic city in the distance was tall, black, and metal: Sin City. The ground was black as was the grass. There was a pandemonium capital building not too far away along with a variety of shops set in a dystopian world: Tiamat’s Treasure Things, Kali’s Corner, Xenomorph Labs. Sinner human slaves slouched around held together by chains in the background.

No Hazbin Hotel or I.M.P headquarters to be found. Only a dark world ruled by the traditional evil seven princes.

A sign read “Diablo Den” and pointed down. The camera moved to show an underground tunnel with torches on either side. An entire subculture of demons lived down within the sewers and damp tunnels. Metal waterproof houses were situated under fluorescent lights on the ceiling. The leader popped up on the screen.

“Salutations! I’m Erebos! Welcome to Hell! (Not the Hazbin one.) Guess you must have done something evil to get here, and evil people deserve to give enemies special cruses!”

The jingle began, with organs playing.

“Does it make you want to yell?” asked Devvin, the yellow ram as a man was shown getting a promotion over a man dressed in rags.

“When an enemy ends up well?” asked Dammna the blue ram female as a rapist was pardoned from his crime.

“Do you frown from ear to ear?” sang Erebos as a man shot at several anti-LGBTQ protestors.

“When your rivals don’t shed a tear?” they all sang as a bully in a baseball cap laughed as a kid cowered in a corner.

“Locked up in a rut?” sang Devvin with a pose.

“A foe seeking your gut?” Dammna sang and posed.

“We can make them cold and dead!” sang Erebos.

“Even give you their head!” They all did villain poses.

“Cause here at D.I.A.B.L.O.!” they sang as“DIABLO” appeared in bloody letters surrounded by pitchforks and the trademark icon.

“We’re the masters of destruction from down below!” sang Devvin as Cletus shot fireballs at a barbed wire fence, allowing prisoners of war to escape. Devvin led the way as Dammna waved a flag with a pentagram and “B.U.R.E.H.C” on it.

“Cause here at D.I.A.B.L.O.!” they sang as the logo appeared again.

“Just name your price and we’re good to go!” sang Dammna as Erebos gave a greedy grin at a human handing him a bag of gold.

“Spreading sickness, chaos and hate!” Devvin sang as he and Dammna gave each other a high five with their hooves.

“History altered and fate!” sang Dammna as atomic bombs went off in reverse as clocks ran backwards and forwards.

“We do the dirty work for you!” sang Cletus asDevvin concocted a deadly virus and dropped it on coughing humans.

“And stirring up world wars, too!” added Devvin as Dammna whispered something in a soldier’s ear, resulting in two armies fighting on the field.

“So sit right back…” sang Erebos before they all sang in discord, “…and let us curse a soul for you!”

“Oh, we are the D.I.A.B.L.O.!”

“How the primal chaos shall flow!”

0 0 0

C.H.E.R.U.B. and E.L.F. just stood there, stunned.

Just then, Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie entered through a portal onto the grass. Moxxie was trying not to fall, while Millie safely put away Stolas’ grimoire in a small black backpack. The red-faced imps wore their usual navy work outfits.

“Alright gang,” called Blitzo. “Apparently someone wants us to kill that ginger-ass tour guide we saw last time. Looks like he’s at Lyle’s old house jacking off and snatching Lyle’s old possessions.”

Millie tried not to throw up. “This world is even crazier than ours!” Then she pulled out a dark sword and brightened. “Let’s keep on killin’ then!”

“Sir, please don’t tell Lyle any of this,” Moxxie pleaded. “You know he’ll get mad if we fail this mission.”

“Oh I already sent him a text,” Blitzo grinned, holding up his phone. The text read “Off 2 kill tour intruder. Might want 2 sell ur stuff.” Moxxie face-palmed.

“I’m already tired and we haven’t even made it there yet,” Moxxie complained.

“Come on Mox, get your sweet imp ass moving,” Blitzo said. “We’ll be at his house before you can say…”

The three imps came to the clearing and froze in their tracks.

“Holy shit,” Blitzo breathed.

At that very moment, all twelve creatures, divided in their four separate groups locked eyes with each other, some on the ground, and some in the air. The sky darkened to an abnormal shade of indigo; the ground suddenly warm to the touch. The air itself shifted from stale, to hot, to cold and back again. A strange energy crackled through the air, like any moment the earth would collapse underneath them. A stag with bloodstained antlers reared up his hind legs and raced across the forest as lightning flashed in the sky.

From inside the mansion, the tour guide and several people gazed out the window in awe through a telescope. The smiling man had the ginger bang over his eyes and wore a green suit and cap with dollar signs on it. He spoke too casually to the group as they took pictures on their phones.

“And now you’ll spot several groups of tacky super-powered cosplayers about to begin an apocalyptic battle! The feuds between famous people and ordinary folk is a sight to behold!”

0 0 0

“Who. The Fuck. Are They?!” Blitzo cried out, his voice echoing.

“Oh no!” groaned Moxxie, pointing ahead. “Those are the…”

“Imps!” Collin cried out, all three cherubs glaring at their rivals.

“Cherubs!” Moxxie finished.

“Diablos?!” Tirred asked.

“Elves!” sneered Devvin.

The intense stare-downs could have turned the universe upside down…which for a few moments, it did.

After several minutes of grueling silence, the first one to speak again was none other than Blitzo.

“Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on here?!”

Cletus crossed his arms. “I’ll tell you what’s going on! Because of you three monsters,” he pointed at the imps, “We’ve been banished to Earth and are this close to meeting our doom down in your filthy world!”

Blitzo just grinned smugly. “Welcome to Hell, baby. We hope you enjoy your stay.”

Cletus turned red in anger. “Shut up! We may have been banished from Heaven all thanks to you, but there is no way we’re going to end up like you!”

Erebos grinned and moved slowly toward the cherubs. “You sure about that?”

He spoke in a bone-chilling whisper that made even Cletus forget his wrath for a moment. “It’s clear that you’ll never be allowed to return to Heaven. Why wish for something you can’t obtain anymore? The only thing you can do now…” he mentioned in the direction of the imps, “…is take back what you’ve lost.”

Cletus glared at him. “I don’t need filthy demons to tell me what to do!”

“Of course you don’t,” Erebos mentioned. “Your company was just trying to do the right thing. Why should you let those monsters stand in your way again?”

“Perhaps some human agents could help you out in the future,” whispered Dammna to the cherubs.

“Stop this!” called Docile. He flew gracefully in Cletus’ direction. “Don’t listen to that demon.”

“You’re one too!” Cletus seethed, flinching back.

“No, I’m an angel just like you,” Docile said, displaying his white wings. “That devil is trying to divert you away from your true path. Your company may have been banished, but you can still redeem yourselves and prove the other angels wrong! You’re already great at spreading positivity to those in need!”

“Ha!” Millie called. “Just like how you cherubs failed to save the life of that old man.”

“It was an accident, you emo slutty freak!” Keenie spat.

“The past is then,” Docile continued to Cletus. “This is now. You still have time to prove your innocence. I believe there is goodness in almost everyone.”

Collin flew up to the elf with wide shining eyes. “Y-y-you do?”

Docile wrapped an arm around Collin. “I know it. It’s there, even when all hope seems lost.”

Erebos snickered to Cletus. “You really gonna believe an inverted version of an imp and his subservient goblin fuck toys?”

The cherubs and elves gasped.

“That is so inappropriate!” Timmid called.

“Kiss your ass, sissy,” Dammna taunted as Timmid flinched away.

“Might wanna watch your words, blue bitch,” Millie growled to Dammna. “Just because we’re fellow demons, doesn’t mean I’ll let you pick on others like that.”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Dammna asked with a sneer. “Sing a murder jingle?”

“My coworkers and I did, actually!” Blitzo bragged.

“I thought your song was very catchy!” Devvin praised.

“Thank you!” beamed Millie. “Now get lost, wannabes! We’re on a murder mission!”

But D.I.A.B.L.O. was far from done. Erebos spoke to Cletus. “Anyway…that deer cherub who kicked you out…she knew that you would fall. God doesn’t tolerate mistakes…thus those in Heaven now see you as just that, mistakes. How does it make you feel?”

“Shut it, demon crap!” Keenie shrilled. She flew toward Erebos but Devvin held her back. She freed herself from his grip. Dammna flew beside Collin, who whimpered as she licked her lips.

“Face it…the other cherubs wanted you three kicked out. Because you founded an illegal company that prided itself on saving human lives. You were getting famous for…not following the rules. Jealousy arose. Heaven knew that if you saved a whole bunch of humans, they would soon get suspicious in Heaven at all their previous sinner family members getting slaughtered every year.”

“How do you know all this?” Cletus asked.

“We have our ways,” said Erebos. “Angels and demons going to Earth is mostly illegal…you know, changing of history, trauma and all.”

He flew into Cletus’ face and the Cletus flinched back in disgust. Erebos made his way around Collin and Keenie as he talked. “You could’ve been good passive little sheep and stayed in Heaven. But you didn’t.” He ran a hand through Collin’s white wooly hair. “Because you wanted something more. Paradise wasn’t enough for you.”

He grinned sinisterly at Keenie. “You were tired of being looked down upon by the more favorable members of your kind. Always searching for a way so that your…”

He peered underneath her yellow dress, “…divine talents could be brought to light.”

Keenie gave him a hard kick to the face, sending him back a bit. He scoffed in pain and rubbed his eye before straightening up and heading back toward Cletus. “And for a while, they did. But look where you are now. Fallen. Forgotten. Forced away from your home.”

“He’s using you guys!” Tirred warned Cletus. “You can still protect humanity and earn God’s grace once again!”

“No matter what you try to do, you’ll never be able to return. Becoming demons is your destiny!” Devvin said with a dark chuckle. “If not in Hell, then on Earth!”

“Listen to the elf angels,” Collin pleaded to his boss. “The demons are full of sin, but you know we can choose to not stoop down to their level. We can be better cherubs, improve our relations with humans.”

“Right after we get rid of all those stinking demons!” Keenie scoffed, hands on her hips. “If we want C.H.E.R.U.B. to survive…”

“Then I.M.P. must pay, right?” Dammna asked, finishing her sentence. Keenie found herself nodding, mouth agape.

“Hey, we can hear you!” Moxxie yelled, drawing out his gun. He shot it upwards, but the bullet was blocked by Tirred’s golden staff. The bullet rebounded away. Moxxie stared at Tirred in disgust. “Man, you’re hard to look at.” Tirred just observed him coldly.

“Forget about I.M.P.!” Timmid called to the cherubs. “Focus on redeeming yourselves. It’s the only way you can return home.”

“Help other people for its own sake,” Docile advised. “You don’t need praise or rewards to keep doing the right thing.”

“He’s right, Cletus,” Collin added. “Help humans move away from sin…and we will as well.” 

“Ha!” barked Dammna. “Sin and flaws are present in everyone, even in little angels. It’s as natural as sex, eating, drinking, and breathing. No one can resist the natural temptations…”

Blitzo grinned. “I’d like to see you try and take us out,” he told Cletus. “Afraid we’ll make you a laughingstock again?” Cletus fumed.

“I hope the Exorcists erase you from existence!” Keenie shrilled.

Devvin appeared beside Keenie. “Why call on them, when you can plan your revenge yourself?”

“Not gonna happen!” she yelled. Just after she said that, her halo flickered again. A small crack appeared on Cletus’ halo. Bits of feathers drifted from Colin’s wings.

“This is not good,” Timmid whispered.

Erebos grinned. “Only a matter of time now, cherubs! It’s time to begin your journey toward justice!”

Back and forth, overlapping words, advice, taunts, and threats pounded against Cletus. He felt like his head was being crushed by two opposing hands. Cletus grimaced, looking back and forth and around. He squinted and closed his eyes, curling into a ball.

“The accident wasn’t your fault, boss!”

“Help bring back C.H.E.R.U.B. to its former glory!”

“You’re nothing but a crying baby and a failure. No wonder Heaven doesn’t want you guys.”

“Thy company come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven…”

“Your demonic destiny is here!”

“Give into sin!”

“Spread the love for here and above!”

“ENOUGH!”

Cletus spread out his arms and legs. The force sent many of the individuals back, but they quickly recovered. Lightning flashed in the sky as the battle began.

 Although Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie couldn’t fly like everyone else, they made up for it by their array of weapons. Blitzo fired his tan flintlock pistol, the bullets rising in the air. One bullet hit Dammna’s hoof, and she hissed in pain. Another grazed Timmid’s shoulder and she cried out.

Docile waved his hand and three golden crossbows appeared in the cherubs’ hands.

“It’s temporary,” he warned.

Wasting no time, Collin, Keenie and Cletus fired sparkly golden arrows from their weapons at the two demonic groups. Cletus and Blitzo fired rounds at each other, both of them expertly dodging the other’s attacks. Erebos laughed as Docile landed punches at him, which he kept blocking.

“Just as planned,” he grinned. “What a joy it is to see C.H.E.R.U.B. and I.M.P. duke it out.” The cherubs’ faces grew more vicious as they chased after the imps.

“Stop fighting, C.H.E.R.U.B.!” Timmid called in concern, but her words fell on ignorant ears.

Erebos landed a punch to Docile’s face, and he quickly retaliated via a well-aimed uppercut. “You won’t get away with this,” Docile spat. “I don’t want to fight any of you guys, but it appears I have no choice.”

Timmid screamed as Devvin suddenly caught her in a headlock.

“Ha! Surrender or she’s a goner!” called Devvin. Timmid struggled in vain against his grip. Docile glared as he aimed his staff at him, debating what to do next.

Zing!

An arrow from Collin’s crossbow hit Devvin in the side, sending him screaming and flying off in the distance. He flew back in anger, but Timmid had already recovered. The cherubs’ golden crossbows vanished; the group now defenseless. Moxxie, Dammna, and Millie seized the opportunity to charge in, surrounding the cherubs. Timmid, Docile and Tirred blocked the path of the demons, holding them off with their golden staffs.

“I can’t hold them much longer,” groaned a strained Tirred to the cherubs. “Flee while you still can!”

“We’re not leaving you behind,” Collin said, determined.

Cletus tried to flee, but Dammna grabbed hold of him and tossed him right back with a chuckle.

Erebos arrived and smacked Tirred’s golden staff from his hands…he punched at the diablo’s chest in response. Docile landed several kicks to Moxxie, sending him stumbling to the ground.

“Moxxie!” Millie cried.

“I’m okay!”

Millie took out a black dagger and tossed it toward Timmid. She caught it and tossed it away. Cletus continued to dodge the bullets from Moxxie and Blitzo’s weapons. Keenie charged at full speed toward Millie’s head from behind her. She was just about to land a hard blow when…

A large hand grabbed her by the hair…Erebos and tossed her hard toward the ground.

Crash!

“Y-y-you monster!” Collin cried.

Keenie growled as she stood up on shaking legs, wiping the dirt from her dress. With a swoop, she lifted herself up in the air before Blitzo could shoot at her. She finally rejoined Collin and Cletus…but the E.L.F. members were almost drained from the battle. The cherubs and elves stood battered and back-to-back against the surrounding demons.

Lightning flashed as several pairs of the angelic and demonic warriors went head to head. Millie was slashing her sword from underneath Timmid and Keenie, who were punching Dammna and pulling her long blue hair. Keenie slapped Dammna across the face while Timmid yelped as she dodged Millie’s weapon from below. Timmid summoned an angelic harpoon and clashed with Millie. They moved in a dance, metal against metal. The point of the harpoon barely missed Millie’s head. Millie leaped onto the harpoon and raced on it with her sword in her mouth. Timmid’s eyes were wide with surprise. She flipped over Timmid, grabbed her sword, and swung it in an arch, knocking Timmid down. The angelic harpoon clattered softly onto the grass. Docile made it vanish with a wave of his hand.

Moxxie fired his gun and hit Devvin several times. He hissed as black blood ran from parts of his legs. “Get the sheep, you idiot!”

“I fight my own battles,” Moxxie retorted, as he dodged Collin’s punches and blasted Devvin’s revolver out of his hand with a well-aimed shot.

Collin and Tirred shared a look, then both swooped on either side of Devvin. With two hard punches to his face, Devvin plummeted to the ground. He glared at them from below as he slowly stood up and shook his head. Tirred tossed Collin out of range of Moxxie’s bullets before he got hit himself. He gasped in pain before landing on the ground to recover. He winced and glared at Devvin. Moxxie rushed at Collin, but Tirred shoved him back with a force from his golden staff.

Docile, Erebos, Blitzo and Cletus were going head to head as lightning lit up the sky around them.

“Take this, you fucker!” Cletus yelled as he grabbed a nearby rock and threw it toward Blitzo. The rock exploded from Blitzo’s bullet. Another bullet hit one of Cletus’ wing tips, making him stumble in the air. Docile straightened the cherub with one hand as he twirled his staff against Erebos in the other. Erebos flapped his bat wings menacingly. The ground shook below as more cracks appeared. I.M.P. moved to higher ground, gazing at the red lava below in the ground. It created a demonic red glow near the ground. Black blood poured from the demons’ wounds just as gold blood flowed from the angels’.

Timmid stood up and flapped her white wings, glanced around in terror. “We have to stop fighting!” she screamed over the yells and the noises of war. “We’re going to destroy the Earth!”

Timmid suddenly screamed as Dammna smacked her on the head from behind. She plummeted to the ground, with Keenie catching the dazed angel and carrying her to a safe spot.

With ear-shattering yells, Cletus and Erebos rammed into each other, as did Blitzo and Docile. The leaders pushed against each other with all their might, as forces from their attacks shook the area. The demons’ ram horns grew longer and eyes appeared on the angels’ wings. Cletus and Docile glowed blue and white while Erebos and Blitzo glowed red and black. Docile’s harpoon spear pressed against Blitzo’s flintlock pistol. They all seethed and gave each other deadly glares.

Before long, the cracks and forces would spread to the rest of Earth. Heaven and Hell would collapse, the Earth being the final battleground and resting place…

The explosions knocked everyone back, sending all the creatures crashing to the ground. The forest had been burned down to timbers and steam was rising from the lake. Lyle’s mansion had been blasted apart to smithereens…yet the soot covered crowd still took pictures as the tour guide spewed his ever-optimistic commentary. His hat was lopsided and he kicked broken glass away.

“One of the Lipton family heirlooms is this golden money bag statue which was gifted to Lyle in the early 1970s. And it’s still standing…”

The tour guide glanced down to see the statue littering the ground in pieces. “…or it was. I call dibs!”

The battle had been an intense stalemate. And all seemed lost as the ground prepared to swallow everyone in the lava and magma.

The dark clouds swirled in a spiral vortex before slowly parting. Sunlight shone from a circular patch of blue sky. The shaking and the yelling stopped. The cracks in the earth fused together and the world slowly got brighter like it did before. The Archangel Michael arrived from the opening, along with the cherub Deerie by his side.

Blitzo helped up his colleagues. “I think we can call this mission a successful failure.”

Millie supported Moxxie. “What about our target?”

“Forget about him,” Blitzo said. “And forget about those cherubs too. They’re done for.”

The imps looked over at the barely stirring cherubs on the ground.

“Well, looks like we won again,” Moxxie said. “Though we really need to tone down all this fighting.”

“Yeah, I’m tired and could really use an iced coffee right now,” Blitzo said. He took out his green “mare-juanna” horse figure and kissed it. “I knew this lucky charm would come in handy. Let’s go gang!”

The imps grinned and high-fived before disappearing through the portal to Hazbin Hell.

Michael hovered in the air in all his glory, supported by broad white feathery wings. He had pale skin, blushes on his cheeks, and short blonde hair like his fallen brother Lucifer. A sword made of flames was tucked protectively near his belt. A glowing spiked white halo hung over his head with a crystal in the center. He wore a white suit and tailcoat, while several medals and badges shown from the front of his outfit.

He bore a stern expression on his face as the other groups slowly recovered.

“Four interdimensional companies fighting in the one world to cause the most damage to mortal lives. I’m ashamed at all of you. You were lucky that no more humans got hurt.” Michael briefly glared at the cherubs, elves, and diablos.

The cherubs and elves bowed their heads in apology, while the diablos looked on.

“I ask that all of you head back to your worlds immediately. If I ever catch you fighting here again, I’ll erase every one of you from existence. Are we clear?”

“Yes sir,” chimed the six angels.

Deerie then whispered to Micheal.

“Oh, right,” Michael cleared his throat. “C.H.E.R.U.B. will still stay on Earth…no harming any mortals, understand?”

The cherubs nodded fearfully.

“Lord Michael,” said Cletus, lifting his head. “The demonic imps have already left. And those diablos are the ones who started all this!”

“Please Lord Michael,” said Docile. “My company came here on behalf of the importance of C.H.E.R.U.B.’s protection. I humbly ask that you reconsider their previous errors and allow them a chance to…”

A rumbling sound was heard and cracks appeared in the ground again. Two gaping holes appeared in the ground. One of them shot fire into the air.

“There’s our cue,” said Devvin to his companions.

Dammna grinned and pointed toward the cherubs. More cracks were forming underneath them, soon creating another hole. Erebos and his gang flew into the cherubs’ faces. “Have fun catching those imps!” cackled Erebos to the cherubs before the ram trio flew into the column of flames and down below. The ground closed over the portal and the flames disappeared.

“This isn’t over, I.M.P.!” Cletus yelled into the air. He, Keenie, and Collin flew toward D.H.O.R.K.S headquarters and were soon out of sight.

After more looks of warning, Michael and Deerie rose back into Heaven and vanished.

The three somber elf angels slowly rose up into the air and went through another heavenly portal back to their world. Back in paradise, Docile had never felt more alone. He gazed out at the colorful clouds through a window.

Docile didn’t even look at his coworkers. “Welp, the cherubs wanted to redeem themselves and continue their company, and we couldn’t save them. We failed. Thanks to those freaking diablos, C.H.E.R.U.B. is still on Earth, plotting their revenge. Such a shame. All they wanted was to spread love and joy to the living world. And now, they’re separated from Heaven…potentially forever.”

Tirred grumbled. “Don’t say I told you so, but…I told you so.”

Timmid gave her boss a small hug as the three silently gazed at the clouds and sunlight.

From behind the elves, Sully Sirius did a small grin. He whispered, “Now this would make for a spectacular tragic film, don’t you think?”

Docile glumly turned his head all the way around, while his body stayed in place. “Please leave.” Sully looked at him and screamed in fright.

[jacksgreysays]

Ahh, your new and very bleak AU is such a good read! I'm curious, what is Sasuke doing in this AU and how is he juggling the relationships? And did you have any ideas of where you would take this Au further if you did? If it would get bleaker or at least a little better?

First off, thank you! Yeah, this AU is very bleak and I don’t know why it’s the only thing my brain wanted to churn out but I decided to let it happen.

Second, oof, hold on to your seats, this is gonna be rough: I have a lot of Thoughts™ about this AU.

So, Sasuke is a sticking point in this AU because everyone else is pretty easy to understand on which side they’d fall, but I did want him specifically to be neutral in the aftermath. Because I didn’t want it to be Shikako and Sasuke vs Naruto but also Shikako vs Sasuke and Naruto isn’t great either and realistically, even the DoS version of Sasuke still loves vengeance.

He would’ve been on the side of legal capital punishment for sure because vengeance, but once it became official that the councilors were going to be imprisoned instead I don’t think he would have approved of Shikako’s actions. Like, I think it’s the illegality that is the problem especially if he’s head of KMP at this time. But even if he’s not, Shikako performing an extrajudicial execution is very much skirting the line into… uh… power corrupts type vibe.

I also wanted Sasuke to be in Konoha: in DoS future fic in general, not just this AU, I like the idea that Shikako is the traveler while Sasuke is the one who stays in Konoha—or, if he does travel, it’s because he’s traveling WITH Shikako. (Tangentially related, I do think Naruto likes traveling but THINKS he likes being in Konoha because of his Hokage dream and that explains why he’s Like That in Boruto)

Anyway, in this AU Sasuke is in Konoha and conflicted on this matter to the point of being neutral. Because on the one hand, yes, justified vengeance of course. He was definitely team justified vengeance. But even if he doesn’t UNDERSTAND Naruto’s decision to not give Shikako her justified vengeance, he’s—in this universe—law abiding.

So I don’t know if it’s just the act of extrajudicial execution or if Shikako asked him to be accessory to it or if she tricked him into being accessory to it, but Sasuke doesn’t approve. So ideally Sasuke agrees with Shikako that the councilors should have been given the capital punishment, but the methods that Shikako used (whether involving/compromising Sasuke himself) he disapproves of so in that way he agrees with Naruto.

Hence, conflicted to the point of neutrality.

I should also maybe mention that Sakako doesn’t exist in this AU. Which sucks for Shikadai because he also doesn’t have his other cousins either—or, rather, they exist, but he’s not going to meet them and they aren’t his cousins: Kareru (if he does exist) is an Uzumaki (which the Nara have conflicted feelings about.) And in my own little headcanon of NGSS Shikako’s the one that finds Araya, Gaara’s the one that finds Yodo, and while Kankurou was the one to find Shinki he’s very busy in this universe what with being the Kazekage and all—but understandably sucks more for Sasuke considering he basically lost a child. Or never had the child that he could have?

Schroedinger’s child.

Anyway, he does still have Sarada, which is good. Whether or not he also has the other biological kids because of the repopulation program is kinda up in the air of whether that would be affected by Konoha’s internal politics.

Weirdly, I think his relationships with other people hinge on how I want Sakura to feel about Shikako’s actions? And now I’m fully going off the rails, but I like the idea of SaixInoxSakura as a stable throuple in a good future. In this bleak AU it’s obvious whose side Ino is on, and DoS!Sai has always been Shikako’s more than Naruto’s (and also, he’s so down to break the law for her it’s great,) and while that is also true of Sakura, she’s also a civilian born medic. So philosophically, she would agree with Naruto that imprisonment is better than execution. And she would also agree that what Shikako did is pretty fucked up.

But Sakura is also the kind of person who, in canon, forgave Sasuke for a lot and worse shit. And there’s also Inner Sakura to think about because, yeah, we don’t see her as much (if at all) but, you know, hurt those who have hurt you is a very instinctive thing to do.

What I’m saying is: if Sakura has somehow threaded the needle on her own conflicting feelings about Shikako’s actions, then because Sarada is Sasuke’s link to her, Sakura might be Sasuke’s best friend?

Because he definitely lost Shikako when everything went down, but he kind of also lost Naruto even before that when he denied Shikako her justified vengeance?

And if his best friend is Sakura now, then his social circle kind of depends on her social circle. Like, if she’s remained in the throuple with Ino and Sai without weird lingering resentments, then by default his social circle includes them and other people who were on Shikako’s side. If she didn’t remain in that throuple then their social circle is people who were Naruto’s side.

… Schroedinger’s throuple…

Anyway, as for the direction this AU is going, I suppose it also depends on whose POV you’re in?

The reason why Shikako is running around being international superstar Kako Heijo is because she didn’t want to destroy Konoha by kicking off a civil war. Like, she doesn’t regret killing those councilors, but politically it doesn’t look great for her to blatantly refute the Hokage’s decision. And it especially isn’t great if she stays there where people who agreed with her would rally behind her and cause an internal schism in the administration that would lead to a civil war.

It’s like the situation in Indelible except worse.

Unfortunately, her pulling a Tsunade and leaving while not being a missing nin didn’t really solve the problem so much as delay it or make everything hide under layers of passive aggression.

Because the trajectory that I currently have is that the ANY clans are gradually and quietly seceding from Konoha. Those three clans could practically form their own functioning village—the Yamanaka and Nara are in so many different departments and the Akimichi (or at least my version of it) have noble/civilian ties and resources—in a way that could devastate Konoha’s infrastructure for at least a few months if not years if they just up and left. Obviously, not everyone in the administration is from the clan system so it’s not like a debilitating walk out for the village, but it doesn’t look great and also there are some who aren’t in the clan system who might want to defect to wherever the ANY go.

Like, my brain definitely has some Ino-and-Chouji-being-coldly-furious fic ideas including the absolute INSULT it would be to them that Konohamaru is BORUTO’S jounin sensei when EVERYONE KNOWS that the Sarutobi are supposed to be mentors to the Ino-Shika-Cho. (To be fair, Naruto didn’t do this as a deliberate snub. Obviously he doesn’t know about clan ties/alliances, but it’s a pretty glaring misstep that he hasn’t learned that since becoming Hokage and an especially worse misstep that he assigned Konohamaru to his own son’s team out of preferential treatment.)

There were other perceived slights over the years, I’m sure, but I just especially like turning Boruto canon into something for Ino and Chouji to rage over. It’s great. They’re so mad in this AU. I love it.

So I guess… thinking about how to make this less bleak would be… if Shikako and Shikadai are trying to figure out how to save Konoha from itself. And also keep Shikadai out of Sand’s clutches.

Which I guess means that Shikadai has to become Hokage?

… which is a pretty funny take on the original premise of Naruto. Like, I’m going to become the strongest/the Hokage to protect the people I love (from a civil war.)

I’m legit laughing.

But in all seriousness, any next major steps narratively of this AU would have to be done by Shikako, Shikadai, and maybe Kankurou in order to prevent Konoha’s implosion. And unfortunately, this situation is so tangled up politically that it can’t just be Shikako swooping in to save the day.

Like, even if they somehow found Gaara, it wouldn’t change the fact the Shikamaru was assassinated, Naruto wouldn’t let the Nara clan have their justified vengeance, and Shikako took it by force anyway.

It’s a very sins of the father (or… aunts/uncles) situation where only the next generation—ie Shikadai—can seize the means by which to… I guess… forgive all parties involved and if not repair then at least put out the active flames of the burning bridges.

Either that or time travel which has been brought up before… which could be pretty cool but is also pretty funny because, like, imagine you’re a 12 year old boy and your international superstar aunt and your foreign king uncle, both of whom you’ve only just met, go time traveling together. That’s hilarious.

All of which is a very long way for me to say that the passive trajectory is bleak, but an active narrative would involve attempts to make it less bleak (either by Shikadai becoming Hokage or the strangest boy and his aunt and uncle go on a time travel roadtrip, lol)

[true-blue-megamind]

FAN THEORY THURSDAY: Six DARK Megamind Theories

"Imagine the most horrible, terrifying, evil thing you can possibly think of and multiply it… BY SIX!"

Yes! It’s Thursday again! And you know what that means: I have to say it. You know I do. SPOILER WARNING!

Megamind might be an animated family film, but that doesn’t mean all the fan theories it’s spawned are pure sunshine and daisies. In fact, a few are the opposite. As its name suggests, some ideas in this post will be fairly dark. Nothing will be graphic, of course, but nonetheless, please pay attention to the warnings below. Without further ado, let’s get in touch with our villainous sides and get started!

Has Megamind Killed Before?

Trigger warning for violence and death.

Near the beginning of the movie, Megamind has accrued eighty-five life sentences. While some fans argue that this could be due to the justice system’s unfairly harsh treatment of him—they did allow a child to be raised in a prison, after all, so clearly there’s corruption—others insist that a person simply doesn’t earn that kind of wrap sheet without shedding blood. And the concept is more than mere speculation; there are several pieces of evidence that might support it.

The first, and perhaps most obvious, proof is the simple fact that people are terrified of Megamind. When he shows up in a restaurant, during his date with Roxanne, other patrons literally start screaming. They’re not the only ones who feared the former villain, either. As I’ve mentioned before in the article The Warden, Demishock’s wonderful blog post transcribes one of the newspaper clippings seen at the beginning of the film Hometown Boy Makes Bad. In it, we learn that “experienced, hardened criminals in [the prison] are afraid of him” and that, as a grade-school child, he is “isolated from the general population [of inmates] for the protection of the adults.” This may indicate that Megamind is dangerous. Although he clearly avoids hurting people unnecessarily, if all he ever did was vandalize and steal he’d likely be viewed as an annoying delinquent rather than an actual threat.

Next, we have his De-Gun. (I’ve touched on this before in both Who is the Real Megamind Part Two and in Megamind’s Inventions, so I’ll be brief.) Sources such as Fandom.com point out that, if you slow down images of the weapon and look closely, you’ll see that it has eight settings: Dehydrate, Decompress, Debilitate, Demoralize, Decoupage, Deregulate, Destroy, and Death Ray. That’s right: Death Ray. Why would the blue man invent a lethal setting if he never intended to use it? Of course, this doesn’t mean he’s a bloodthirsty maniac—in fact, the DVD commentary makes it clear that he goes out of his way not to harm others—but it’s quite possible that he’ll use violence when he must.

Another fan theory connects with this as well. Many believe that Megamind, during his supervillain days (and possibly even afterward) controlled all organized crime and other villains in Metro City. In one of the storyboards that was ultimately left out of the film, while Megamind has laid claim to the mayor’s office as the new Evil Overlord, a group of lesser supervillains approach him and essentially ask for permission to go on a crime spree. Why would they do such a thing unless they were answerable to the blue man and unless he kept tabs on who was committing illegal acts locally? Indeed, this in itself offers some slight support for the idea that Megamind is not above violence when he feels it’s unavoidable. If he did, in fact, rule the city’s underworld, it would mean keeping tight reigns on some incredibly dangerous individuals, many of whom might not share his distaste for bloodshed. Frankly, a person simply couldn’t control a criminal empire and an entire group of preternaturally-powered villains unless they were both willing and able to back up their threats. So, while he may not like taking life, and may treat it as a dire last resort, it seems that he might do it when needed. And judging by his number of life sentences, it’s quite possible that he has.

Does Roxanne Ritchi Have a Dark Side?

Many might argue that Roxanne is, in many ways, the only major character in the film who seems to be generally good from start to finish, but others disagree. Two camps exist on this subject, one claiming that Roxanne clearly has a good heart and has her act together, the other claiming that there may be something less wholesome lurking beneath the surface. In fact, I’ve heard it said that there appear to be some odd discrepancies in her behavior that may, possibly, point toward the woman having a secret side.

Essentially, the fan theory is this: Roxanne knew Megamind was “Bernard” almost from the start, but chose to pretend otherwise, possibly in order to manipulate him. That may sound somewhat far-fetched—and I certainly had my doubts at first—but it may not be as unbelievable as it initially seems. To begin with, the reporter is clearly attracted to Megamind, as can be seen in their moment of flirty banter during the kidnapping scene. (In fact, a line that was later removed portrayed Roxanne telling Megamind-as-Bernard that Metroman was not her type because she preferred brains over brawn.) Therefore, it’s not impossible that she might have knowingly gone out with the villain if she could do so without risking her reputation and career.

Next, consider this: Roxanne is supposed to be extremely intelligent. Not as ingenious as the blue man, perhaps, but very astute nonetheless. In the original script, she is an investigative reporter who originally comes to Megamind’s notice because she is always trying to discover the location of his secret Lair and learn what he’s planning. During the film’s kidnapping scene, she uses her “nosy reporter skills” to get information out of Minion and quickly deduces that they are (apparently) in the abandoned observatory. She finds the supervillain’s hideout and, later in the movie, decodes his plans to reveal that he’s created a new nemesis. When Megamind comes to her for help, he calls her “the smartest person I know.” Indeed, her intelligence seems to be part of what has attracted the blue alien to her in the first place. Roxanne is obviously far from stupid.

So how, some fans ask, could someone with such mental prowess be fooled into thinking Megamind is Bernard? After all, she’s familiar with both men. Miss Ritchi has clearly interacted with the Metroman Museum curator before—she recognizes him when she meets him after hours—and she’s been regularly abducted by Megamind for years.

Why does that matter? Keep in mind that the blue man didn’t have time to record Bernard speaking before he used the De-Gun and holowatch to assume his identity. Furthermore, the reporter clearly recognizes her serial kidnapper's voice; when she hears him in the museum, her expression turns suspicious before she goes to investigate. Consider as well that, as she’s at least acquainted with Bernard, and likely knows Megamind better, she would be familiar with both men’s features and personalities. This has led some to propose that she must have realized something was amiss. Surely she’d notice that Bernard’s brown eyes were suddenly bright green? That his jaded personality had instantly become awkwardly emotional and cheerfully enthusiastic? That his voice had abruptly changed to that of the top local supervillain? After all, she'd spoken to the real Bernard mere moments before. Many also feel that she obviously heard everything Megamind said over the phone when she found his Lair. If she could hear him calling Minion a “dim-witted creation of science,” how could she not also hear him shout: “how did she find my hideout?!” A number of fans, therefore, feel that it’s nearly impossible she wasn’t aware exactly who she was dating.

The question now, of course, becomes why. Why would she become romantically involved with a supervillain? Stockholm Syndrome, while possible, is an unlikely explanation. According to a website discussing psychological treatments and issues, PsychoTreat, the FBI database shows that only about eight percent of hostages develop the disorder, and those who do usually refuse to cooperate with rescue efforts. Since Roxanne shows no unwillingness to be saved by Metroman, this doesn’t seem to apply to her. So why then? One of the main suppositions is that she wants to change Megamind for the better. Indeed, it could be argued that when, during one of her reports, she asks: “has someone tamed this monster?” she is indirectly referring to herself. Insightful and intelligent as she is, and as much time as she’d spent with the blue alien, perhaps she’d seen what others didn’t: that he really was a good person underneath. However, positive though her intentions might have been, they do not change the fact that, if this is true, she was purposefully manipulating him.

If Roxanne knew who he was all along, however, then why would she seem so angry and surprised when Megamind’s true identity was revealed? Fans have theories about that as well. The first is that it was expected. He was a supervillain and she was not only a damsel but also a recognizable television reporter. If she had simply shrugged it off and said that she knew who she was kissing, it could have potentially damaged her career and her social life beyond repair. The second is that the illusion was shattered in more ways than one. Think of it like a person who knows, deep down, that their spouse is having an affair but has never been confronted with evidence. A surprising number of people will remain in such a relationship so long as they can pretend the issue away. However, while it’s possible to ignore things that remain mere concepts, having one’s proverbial nose shoved in hard facts is an entirely different matter. The third possible reason is that she was projecting. If indeed Roxanne was lying to manipulate Megamind, she may have felt guilty, and becoming angry at him when his own lie was revealed may have been a way of alleviating that guilt and shifting the blame.

Indeed, another similar fan theory suggests that such manipulation was, perhaps, not entirely new to the woman. In fact, according to a CBR article by Robert Vaux, it has been conjectured by some that Roxanne may have volunteered to be kidnapped. We know that she obviously isn’t afraid of Megamind, and is categorically convinced he won’t actually harm her. We also know that she and Metroman apparently allowed the city to believe they were a couple when, in fact, they’d never dated. What if, believing that the blue villain needed someone to regularly act as bait, the two conspired to make him think Roxanne was Metroman’s girlfriend, making her an obvious target and thus ensuring normal citizens were less likely to be traumatized by villainous attacks?

I’ll be honest, I’m still can’t say that I’m convinced by either of these fan theories, but I have to admit that they're certainly interesting. There is some evidence, at least, for those who wish to adopt them.

Is Megamind’s Lair a Murder Scene?

Once again, this section contains triggers for violence and death.

This next fan theory relates back to the first one concerning the former supervillain’s possibly violent past. During the scene involving Roxanne’s discovery of Megamind’s hideout, there is a small but very intriguing detail visible in the surrounding abandoned lot. For just a moment, we can see a single car sitting there, and upon closer inspection, it is a very interesting vehicle indeed.

At a glance, it appears to simply be an old, rusty car, but, apparently, a few fans see more. Firstly, the rather square front, narrow aerodynamic back, and sleek two-door sides look almost identical to a 1970 Chevelle SS or AMC AMX. This is significant because, in good condition, both of those vehicles can sell today for $30,000 to $45,000. Of course, that’s the same as many current models you might find at a dealership, but keep in mind that, unlike new vehicles, classic cars are often sold by individuals and therefore usually cannot be financed. Instead, they typically have to be purchased outright. Secondly, the vehicle appears to have a large dent in the roof and scorch marks up one side. Clearly, something has happened.

It is possible that this may simply be an old automobile of Megamind’s. After all, the invisible car is a modified 1950 Hudson Hornet, so he clearly likes hot rods, and Metroman’s super-strength and laser vision could certainly produce both the body damage and the external burns. Perhaps the vehicle is simply worse for wear after a long-previous battle.

Some point out, however, that this explanation doesn’t seem to fit what we know about the blue man. Both his invisible car, (when stealth mode is not engaged,) and his hoverbike always appear to be clean and highly polished. This is clearly someone who takes care of his vehicles. Furthermore, whether because he simply prefers to reuse and recycle despite running a multi-million dollar criminal empire—as many fans believe—or because he isn’t wealthy and often has to use whatever he can—as the DVD commentary suggests—Megamind often uses scraps and components to build machines. Even if the automobile was beyond repair, it seems extremely uncharacteristic of the former villain to not salvage as much as possible. So why would it be left, more or less whole, outside his hideout?

Solving that riddle is a bit difficult because it raises several other questions: who did the vehicle belong to if not the blue alien, why is it in the condition it’s in, and what happened to the owner? To answer the first, we have to consider who would be living in a seedy part of an urban center, surrounded by empty factory buildings and dockyards, and yet be able to spend up to $45,000 on a car in one go. The most obvious candidate, of course, would be someone who is associated with a criminal organization and earns a reasonably significant amount of money thereby. And, as already mentioned, many fans believe that all such organizations were under Megamind’s control during his villainous days. (You can read more about that theory in The Not So Evil Overlord.)

This may even fit with the specific auto in question. Although car chassis aren’t nearly as bulletproof as movies would have you believe—Mythbusters actually tested it during their 2004 season—advances in metallurgy and the addition of reinforced side impact bars make certain 1970’s vehicles somewhat more protective. If a person realistically thought they might be shot at, but couldn't afford an armored sedan—such as the Audi A8 L Security or the Mercedes-Benz S680 Guard, both of which sell for over $600,000—then a 1970’s muscle car might not be a terrible second choice. At the very least, it would have to be a better option than a modern vehicle with a fiberglass body.

Relatively bullet-resistant though such an auto might be, however, I seriously doubt it would fair well against, say, the blue villain’s spider bot. Yes, you read that correctly; some fans suggest that it was Megamind who attacked the vehicle and its occupant. The damaged coupe is outside his Lair, after all, and he certainly owns doom devices and weapons capable of creating the damage we see. (Besides that, consider that Titan, who shared Metroman’s strength, punched through the invisible car’s door, so it’s reasonable to assume that Metroman would have done more than dent a body panel.)

Now we have only two mysteries remaining: the whereabouts of the owner and the reason for the vehicle being left in situ. That’s where this fan theory turns dark. Essentially, it’s this: some mid-level person in Megamind’s criminal empire approached the villain's hideout, possibly with plans to usurp him, and faced his wrath as a result. What happened then? Did the would-be assassin leap from the car and flee? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to drive off than to run? Besides that, many may wonder why, if that is was the case, the then-villain would have simply left the car where it was. Wouldn’t it have been more practical to dismantle it and use the material for his own inventions? Taking it for himself and literally making it his own would certainly send a message to the owner.

Unless, of course, said owner was dead. While watching the movie with a friend, she pointed out that, if Megamind had killed the intruder, it would make sense for him to leave the vehicle as a sort of warning about what happens to people who attacked the Master of All Villainy. I admit, that would doubtlessly act as a very convincing deterrent. Indeed, that’s exactly what some fans believe may have happened, and the idea seems plausible. Was some minor crime boss or other foolish enough to challenge Megamind, and did they pay the ultimate price in the end? Your guess is as good as mine.

Was Titan Even Worse Than We Thought?

Trigger warnings for sexual assault and violence.

To be perfectly honest, I debated whether or not to include this one. It is frankly pretty disturbing, but I’ve seen it appear in enough discussions and fanfictions that I felt it had to be mentioned. So here it goes. We all know that Hal/Titan is a truly bad guy in every sense of the term, but one incredibly dark theory suggests that he may be much worse than many of us realized.

Of course, even before gaining superpowers, Hal is a creepy stalker who regularly harasses his coworker, but, afterward, he becomes positively evil. As I’ve mentioned several times already—and you’re probably getting tired of hearing me say it—Megamind may be capable of violence when it’s necessary, but Titan seems to revel in it. Furthermore, while there is evidence that the blue man tries to avoid hurting people, and whether or not he ever has is open for debate, Titan most definitely does kill. Worse still, he does so essentially because he’s pitching a fit.

In the film, immediately following his first battle with Megamind, Hal clearly intends to end the blue man’s life with his laser vision. He even says that he plans to put the alien genius in the morgue. Shortly afterward, when Megamind has ejected from his battle mech and been rescued by his brainbots, Titan gives chase, causing a sixteen-wheeler hauling what is apparently gasoline to crash and explode. It’s highly unlikely that the driver of that truck survived, and it’s quite possible that others were killed as well. Then, of course, the superpowered menace uses his laser vision to burn the word “Tightenville” across Metro City, leaving huge swathes of fiery destruction through densely-populated areas. People almost certainly died. Indeed, that obviously wasn’t Hal’s only act of arson as, even before that scene, Megamind fears that Titan will “destroy the whole city,” and we can see smoke rising from parts of the skyline while the blue hero and Roxanne are driving toward Metroman’s hideout. In short, it is unimaginable that no lives were lost, and I have to wonder just how many people suffered for no better reason than Hal being a man-child rage-monster.

That may not be his only sickening crime, however. Some fans have speculated about what happened between the time that Titan backs Roxanne Ritchi against the news van and the scene when he has her tied on top of Metro Tower. After all, Hal not only desires the woman but also feels entitled to her, and it’s undeniable that he has no qualms about taking whatever he wants. Yes, I know that’s a horrifying thought, but we have to admit that it’s a possibility. Especially considering that assault of that kind is, in the end, always about power rather than lust, and Hal seems to be addicted to power.

If such an idea makes your stomach queasy, like it does mine, take heart: other fans disagree with this supposition. They argue that, as Titan displays a complete lack of empathy and only dubious control over his powers, Roxanne would have likely been seriously injured or worse if such a thing had taken place. Beyond that, it should also be remembered that Hal feels he is owed not just Roxanne’s body but also her affection. He may well have wanted to own her completely and, realizing he couldn’t, decided to kill her instead. Basically, he feels that if he can’t have her no one should. Nonetheless, both theories have equal merit, so it’s a fifty-fifty toss-up as to which is most accurate.

Was Megamind Purposefully Forced Into Villainy?

Trigger warnings for bullying and psychological abuse

Of course, we all know that Megamind embraces villainy and Metroman pursues heroism beginning in school. Is there, however, more to it than that? In a YouTube video called Megamind: A City of Deception, The Theorizer addresses some fascinating and potentially tragic details of the film.

The first one is, in truth, less a detail and more a glaring oddity. Why would any presumably sane society allow an infant to be raised in a prison? Why were convicted criminals allowed control over his care and education? A part of the reason may, of course, simply be the DreamWorks team’s desire to create a comically overblown version of an origin story, but even by the standards of animated films, this seems rather strange.

Stranger still is the school Megamind is sent to. It’s a one-room building with, apparently, a single class. Despite there being only a dozen students—a bizarrely small academic organization for any urban area—the only two known aliens in Metro City just happen to attend. Then there’s both the location and the name. Not only does the school appear to be a mere block away from the prison, which is unusual in itself, but both facilities share suspiciously similar appellations: The Metro City Prison for the Criminally Gifted and the L’il Gifted School for Li’l Gifted Kids. While it’s true that both are a spoof on X-Men comics, the question of why they are so alike still remains.

Indeed, I can take The Theorizer’s supposition about the school one step further: after Megamind leaves the academy behind, apparently for good, Metroman is allowed to simply keep the building. This would mean that the Li’l Gifted School must have closed down after the blue man stopped attending, which may indicate that Megamind’s presence there was its sole purpose.

Whether or not that’s accurate, two things are clear: Metroman was a bully as a child, while Megamind was both ostracized and punished whenever he tried to do something positive or defended himself. In fact, Wayne Scott—which is generally accepted at Metroman’s legal name as it appears in the original script—seems to be encouraged to bully his blue classmate. (The other children seem to face no negative consequences for excluding or hurting him, either.) Although most teachers would try to curtail one student acting as a disciplinarian to another Ms. Jane Doe—she is actually called that, which is suspicious in itself—actually rewards him with gold star stickers and praise. (Here I would like to mention that, as a grown hero, Metroman’s uniforms include star details and gold accents. This is almost certainly on purpose.) Furthermore, rather than trying to promote diversity acceptance within the classroom, she appears to embolden others’ ostracization of Megamind, allowing him be left out while other students sing together and, in a photo, even posing behind the majority of the class while blue alien stands apart with a sad, forced smile on his face.

I think a blog post on the Megamind’s Destiny Tumblr page may say it best:

Megamind was assigned to the role of villain at birth. He did everything that he could to tear himself away from that position, and aimed to become the exact opposite. This resulted continuously in abuse and punishment.

Why would anyone do all of this to a child? One more classroom detail, pointed out in the aforementioned video, may hint at the explanation. In the background, during the popcorn scene, we can observe a crayon drawing of a yellow school bus. That’s not unusual in itself, but one figure depicted in the vehicle certainly is. It appears to depict the Warden as he looked during Megamind’s youth. Naturally, it seems utterly nonsensical for a prison official to be associated with a school… unless, of course, the two facilities are connected.

That is precisely what this fan theory suggests. Realizing that they had a dangerous bully on their hands—one possessing inhuman strength and laser vision—concerned city officials conspired with Metroman’s adopted parents to push young Wayne into heroism so that he could have a relatively safe outlet for his powers and his aggression. A superhero, however, needs a villain to fight, and it's been supposed that that is where Megamind came into the plot.

The idea is certainly plausible. Without doubt, Lord and Lady Scott would have had the finances and influence to open a small private school, while local politicians and prison authorities could have seen to it that Megamind was kept in jail and sent to class with his future nemesis. Indeed, ensuring the boys would be foes may have been exactly the point. As discussed in How Strong is Megamind, the blue man is clearly far more durable and physically powerful than he appears. That along with his intelligence and his status as an outsider made him a perfect candidate for Wayne's nemesis. Thus Metroman was conditioned to seek public adulation and taught that his blue-skinned peer was an acceptable target for bullying. At the same time, Megamindwas manipulated into believing that he was naturally bad and “destined to become a supervillain.” Wayne Scott was given both a lifelong craving for applause as well as a focus for his antagonism while Megamind was pushed into the role of his “evil” adversary.

Was “Space Dad” Based on a Real Person?

This last fan theory comes from a discussion on Reddit in which a user suggested that Megamind’s Space Dad disguise might be less innocent than it seems. This concept hinges on three basic facts. The first is that every other time we see Megamind’s holowatch used, he employs a likeness scanned from a living person. It is quite possible that any other source—a photograph or an image on television, for example—would not produce the same three-dimensional, realistic effect. (Not to mention that, as the scan function apparently captures all angles of a subject with a single sweep, using a flat image would likely result in a holographic projection with no back, or in an illusionary TV walking down the road.)

The second is that Space Dad is the only disguise which is edged in blue light, indicating that something is certainly different. What might that be? How could Megamind have possibly scanned a glowing person? That answer may lay in the third fact: Space Dad is obviously a spoof on Marlon Brando’s portrayal of Superman’s father, who, as most of you likely know, only appears to the DC hero in the form of a hologram. Because Metroman is clearly based on Superman, that has led several fans to speculate that something similar may have occurred in the film Megamind. It’s possible that Metroman, like his comic book counterpart, was sent to Earth with a hologram of his father intended to teach and guide him. However, in this case, it may have been his nemesis, not the hero himself, who discovered and learned to operate the device. And a three-dimensional hard light hologram might be scanned with the holowatch much like an actual person. It would explain the bright nimbus around the illusion.

Why, you may ask, would the blue man have bothered scanning it at all? While using the image of Metroman’s dead father in a plot would undoubtedly be effective, it would also be cruel, and Megamind, despite being a villain, clearly does not possess such callousness. There is, however, another possible reason. Some fans speculate that, being a super-genius, the blue man would have surely recognized how perilous Wayne might be. Like the previous theory, this concept suggests that someone took action to prevent that, however in this case that someone is Megamind himself. Could he have used the image of Metroman’s parent, much as he did with Titan, to convince the other he needed to become a hero and fight the self-proclaimed Master of All Villainy? Did Megamind, in short, willingly submit to a life of loneliness and rejection, turning himself into the proverbial monster in the shadows in order to give Metroman an enemy to focus on and thus keep other people safe? If so, then the blue man was a hero all along.

And that’s it! Six dark fan theories surrounding the animated movie Megamind! All of them are definitely interesting to consider, and as a group they offer enough angst and drama for anyone. I hope everyone reading this has enjoyed it, even if, perhaps, we may never look at our favorite characters in quite the same way again.

[suratan-zir]

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Maybe some of you have already seen this great thread on twitter, but if not - I strongly recommend that you read the entire thread to the end. 

The author quite objectively covers the problem, and also touches on a topic that I have long wanted to talk about, but didn’t know where to start.

I know I will probably get a lot of hate for this post.

Alexei Navalny, poisoned and imprisoned leader of the Russian opposition. If you know who he is then you probably support him and think that he could changed the Russian politics to the better if he had the opportunity.

Western media usually portrays Navalny as a fearless warrior of justice, unfortunately, this is a dangerous misconception. Do you know why the West and Russian liberals love him so much? Because he is against Putin, that's it. He is Putin's enemy, he was viciously poisoned and illegally convicted - these are facts I'm not trying to argue with. But he is also not a liberal and not a leftist. He is just a powerless, failed version of Putin. And the rule "my enemy's enemy is my friend" doesn't apply in this case. 

Navalny is a smart man, he successfully gained authority points from the opposition-minded part of Russian society, using to his advantage the most problematic topic of Russian politics - corruption. He and his team have gained immense popularity and support from many Russians by publishing revealing investigations into corrupt Russian politicians. 

For many years of his career, Navalny called Putin a thief and the ruling party a "party of swindlers and thieves." What is wrong with this statement? Everybody knows that every Russian politician is corrupt, because you simply can't work in a deeply corrupt system and not be corrupt. Of course, Putin and his party steal people's money, it is completely obvious to everybody. But Putin is much more than that. He is a killer, a terrorist, a war criminal and a dictator. He was all of the aforementioned for years before the recent invasion of Ukraine. But Navalny does not particularly condemn this? 

Navalny is just another, more modern incarnation of Russia's imperialist nature. Not only does he not condemn Russia’s attacks on other sovereign countries, he supports it. Back in 2008 Putin did to Georgia similar thing that he did to Ukraine later in 2014. Putin created puppet "self-proclaimed republics" of South Ossetia and Abkhazia, basically invaded Georgia and started a war. For the same reasons he did it again with Ukraine in 2014, in 2008 Georgia wanted to move along the European path of development, away from Russian imperialism. 

Navalny not only greatly approved of that unjust war, he enthusiastically called for harder bombing of "rodents" Yep, he called Georgians rodents. In Russian, words грузин and грызун sound very similar, Navalny probably was proud of his "joke" back then. Years later, when these words surfaced, Navalny apologized for calling the people of Georgia rodents, but added that he still stands by everything else that he said regarding the war, like: “In modern conditions, authority is based only on force” or “Russia must immediately recognize the independence of South Ossetia and Abkhazia. Only the recognition of independence gives a way out of the crisis. And it will give a legitimate right to our (Russian) troops to be in these zones.”

He also insultingly called Tajiks “chuchmeks” and said many other "interesting" things.

In 2014, Navalny said that if he became president of Russia, he would not regain control of Crimea to Ukraine. Because the occupied peninsula is "not a sandwich" to be "passed back and forth". He also echoed Putin's traditional imperialistic statement that Russians and Ukrainians are "one people." Although Navalny admitted that such statements sound insulting to many Ukrainians.

On the one hand, Alexei Navalny declares his democratic position, and on the other, he supports the Russian agression in other countries. His "democracy" ends on the issue of Ukraine. But why doesn't this bother his progressive and educated supporters? 

The sad truth is that the absolute majority of Russians, no matter the opposition or not, are bearers of imperialist ideals. At best, they condemn the annexation of Crimea and Donbas because they don't want their taxes to be spent on it when there are many problems within Russia's borders. But most of them don't care about the suffering and death that Russia brings to other countries. They are not offended when their leader belittles and insults other nations, no matter who that leader is - Putin or Navalny. 

Even if Putin dies/gets overthrown in the coming days, Russians will create another tsar for themselves. This has been the case throughout the entire history of Russia. It's not the leader - it's the people. As long as the Nazi and imperialist worldview prevails in Russian society, Russia will continue to produce new tsars, new dictators, new Putins. This is a vicious circle.

[cheelduh]

How to get Hit-listed by a Stonehide Lawachurl (High School AU!)

Part 6 of the highschool au

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Synopsis: Childe’s a menace to everyone when playing dodgeball. Even as his new girlfriend, you’re no exception to his affinity for raising hell during the most tranquil of circumstances.

Warnings: Swearing, bad humor, and absolutely horrid spelling mistakes.

Words: 5.3k

Note: Longest chapter yet sheeeesh 🗿

Negotiation is an art.

Childe, or "Tartaglia" has utilized the art of negotiations in his daily life. Whether that be scamming the ninth graders with fake weed, or convincing the teachers why he doesn't deserve detention for injecting random fluids from the chem department into the school's resident pet frog.

All in all, by becoming an expert in the field of negotiations, Childe is nothing if not a master, tongue silver and smooth as he takes on a new opponent.

Which is why he dutifully negotiates with you on this Monday morning in front of the History classroom, getting down on one knee and pulling out a—

"I hope to Barbatos you aren't proposing Childe," You hiss, panicked eyes landing on the velvet box he's pulling out. "Considering that we're sixteen and still in highschool."

As if remembering those meagre details, Childe gulps and shoves the box back into his pocket. "Uhhh yeah, I was just, tying my shoelaces?" It comes out as a question.

You let out a sigh of relief, overlooking how he undoes his shoe laces just to do them all over again.

The ring burns in his pocket as he gets back up.

"Why did you call me here?" You ask, hand on your hip, foot impatiently tapping. The tap tap tap isn't because of impatience though, it's because you need something to cover the nervous palpitations of your heart.

He gives you a vicious smile, sinister enough to shake the bones of anyone who's observing, opens his daring mouth to show the imaginary sharpness of his teeth. Then with the confidence of about a hundred shirtless tiktok boys, he finally demands:

"If you don't become my girlfriend, I will kill—"

"Yeah sure thing." You answer before he can finish, soft smile growing.

Childe chuckles evilly, "I knew you'd say that, but I've come prep—wait a minute." He snaps out of his villain origin phase, stumbles back a bit, then his eyebrows are furrowing in confusion. "Did you just say yes?"

You nod, cheeks flaring up. "Don't make me repeat it." Then you look away, too embarrassed to see his reaction.

For a second, Childe's internal conflict following the chain of this event causes him to temporarily malfunction, and all he can do it stare at you in amazement.

It's only when you tell him to stop staring and jump off the school roof is when he snaps out of his daze, a grin festering on his face.

He lunges straight at you, giving you no time to deflect him as he wraps his bone crushing arms around you, then lands a soft smooch on your forehead.

"Let go of me you idiot!" You barely wheeze out, light headed not only because of your lungs being squeezed like oranges, but also because of the sloppy kiss he's delivered so ungracefully.

He does so reluctantly, and you're unamused, wiping the stickiness off your forehead with a sleeve as he steps back.

"Ew what the fuck?" You say, glaring at him. "What's wrong with you?"

He completely ignores you, giddy with excitement. "Ah girly, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that. I can't wait to introduce you to my parents and eat lunch together and kiss each other during break—"

"Slow down." You tell him, as red as a tomato towards all his suggestions. "We've barely started dating."

"Oh," Childe stops momentarily, then nods in agreement. "You're right. We should start small. How about I walk you to class?"

"We're already in front of class." You nudge your head towards the classroom, and catch Zhongli and Venti peeking from the side of the door, trying not to be obvious.

You narrow your eyes at them threateningly.

Childe tugs your arm, lovingly looking you up and down. "Let's walk to class together anyways. In a circle."

A complete waste of time, yet it's impossible to say no to the face he's making.

Before you guys depart he suddenly stops, gasping loudly, remembers something important. "I have to make a quick phone call."

Childe speed dials Scaramouche, and the latter picks up annoyed, answers the phone with muffled sounds in the back. Something that sounds a bit like pleading and whimpering.

He then mutters something that forces dread into your system. "You can release the hostages."

You hear Scaramouche groan on the other end, muttering a "such a pain in my ass", but choose not to question it immediately.

As soon as the phone call is done and you're back by his side, you point at his phone questioningly. "What hostages Childe?"

He gives you a close eyed smile, taking the fifth.

"What hostages Childe?" You repeat again weakly.

—

First period goes by smoothly for the most part. Lisa, your so called best friend, once again is bought off like a corrupted politician by your new boyfriend. She sits far away from you, leaving you without any defences against the menace that dotes on you a bit too much.

Throughout class, all Childe does is score Venti's colourful pens, and then writes you annoying little love notes, using the expert origami skills he's learnt from Anthon to deliver them to you.

Despite the threat of distraction these notes pose, the corners of your lips can't help but tug upwards at his enthusiasm and attempt at poetry.

Zhongli makes sure not to ask you two any questions the entire class, leaving you to your own accord.

Lunch comes around soon enough, and your usual table of Diluc, Jean, Kazuha, and Lisa is disturbed by the torpedo that is Childe, and he brings collateral with him.

Kaeya whole-heartedly ceases the opportunity to sit near his stoic statue of a brother purely with the intention to annoy the premature crap out of him, but one look from the redhead sends the chicken-shit right back where he came from.

When Childe forcefu—lovingly feeds you the smiley fries and dinosaur nuggets his stunning mom packed him, Diluc looks just about ready to hurl.

Lisa winks at you two, Kazuha doesn't even bother looking, and Jean tries with upmost effort to keep Diluc from launching himself at the whipped fatui boy basking in your attention.

"Quit embarrassing me." You whisper-exclaim sharply, noticing how Jean passes Diluc—all green in the face, a puke bag discreetly. "Shouldn't you be doing something illegal right now? Or vaping in the stalls?"

"I quit vaping for you girlie." Childe boops your nose with his finger. "Well, at least full time. I still need a puff when I'm around Signora, to like, get rid of her awful vibes."

While it is endearing how he quit vaping for you, it doesn't lessen the need for you to bury yourself alive right here and now.

Then you sigh, pick up a Dino nuggie, and shove it in his mouth, the tip of his tongue flicking your finger. You die inside.

"There, you happy?" The action of feeding him is so...intimate, it sets your heart aflame.

Childe's a lovesick puppy when he chews, imaginary tail wagging a hundred times a second. "Can I have a kiss too?"

Diluc slams his hands on the table and stands up, hurriedly picks up his grape juice and makes a break for it. You don't blame him.

"I'll kill you." You smack him with a napkin, blazing red. "I'll end your pathetic little life right here and now."

By the end of lunch, Lisa and Jean have to restrain you so you don't break the world record for the maximum amount of mutilations that can be done on a single body.

Fourth period is a break. A break from Childe you mean. It's expected of the school's resident bad boy aka menace to skip classes in order to skip over the bodies of his victims.

You bask in the momentary peace, until it's disrupted by a tap on the window. Reckon it's nothing, maybe a bird flew into it, because intentional taps are impossible from the third floor. Except your conviction is hindered yet again by another tap.

What a nuisance.

You finally turn to look outside the window, face down, and spot Childe waving incessantly, rocks in hand, oozing with excitement that can't be concealed and a grin that nearly takes you into cardiac arrest. Without meaning to, you send him a small smile, waving back as Baal drones on about quantum superposition.

Successful in gaining your attention, he moves aside to reveal the hefty corpse of a stonehide lawachurl with a destructive path in its wake. The ridges and bumps of its hide are enough to do a number on the road, ruining the school's playing field.

Your smile drops down into a horrified frown in the span of a few seconds.

"Wow." Albedo, your lab partner whispers from next to you, for the first time distracted in class.

"Yeah," Kaeya whistles from behind you two, one hand supporting his head. "What a gesture."

"Y/N, I'd be grateful if you could possibly obtain a black crystal horn for me from the specimen." The blonde asks, entranced by the corpse that your boyfriend is flaunting off to you with pride.

"Aren't those things endangered cutie?" Lisa makes sure to butt in, as per usual.

Yes. Your boyfriend with several issues and an affinity for chaos brought you the corpse of an endangered geo-infused creature that's five times the size of him. During school hours too, the fiend. Like a cat dragging the corpse of a dead mouse to its owner.

You groan into your hands, heart racing while the fire is coursing through your veins.

That idiot.

—

Childe is exceptional at a lot of things, like the switch and making weapons out of seemingly harmless things (e.g shiv out of a toothbrush), but what he prides in the most is physical education. With washboard abs, uber tall height, and a dickish smile to top it all, he has everything it takes to showcase his top tier athletic abilities.

He pounces at the opportunity to show off in front of you, wanting nothing more than to have you fawn over his strength. He's sure it'll be enough to have you all over him, wrapping your cute little arms around his muscled ones, passing him his water bottle and dabbing away at the sweat on his forehead. Most of all, he daydreams you planting your soft lips on his to congratulate him after a big game.

Physical education, for you, is a pain. You may be good with your brain, but games exert more energy than necessary, and coordination that lacks logic entirely. You're just here for the credit. The over-achiever part of you walks the extra mile to ensure a grade in the high nineties.

Although witnessing Childe clad in the school shorts and matching polo shirt is enough to make this worth your while, you'll die before admitting it. Especially when he gawks at you as if it's the first time you're wearing the sports uniform yourself. It has you fidgeting with your fingers and tugging your shorts down nervously.

You try not to flip him off like you usually do, especially since it's not even been twenty four hours since he's asked you out.

Mr.Zhongli blows a whistle, calling all the students over to surround him. It's odd that he teaches most of the subjects at this school, seemingly the only adult present, but no one questions it in fear of genshin logic. Moving on, he explains that you have a dodge ball game today.

Lisa groans beside you. She hates anything that requires the exertion of energy, oftentimes bringing a book to read while everyone else screams in the background.

You're relieved, mainly because Childe and Tohma are usually captains, and Childe always picks you to be on his team as a means to flex his skills. For you, it means sitting back and watching him carry your team towards a straight A.

However, all your dreams are crushed when Zhongli announces the team leaders.

"Y/N, I trust that you'll lead the blue team to the upmost of your ability. Childe, prepare to lead the opposing red team."

Your knees shake as you stare at him in disbelief. "But Sir—"

"No buts Y/N." He scolds you lightly, checking off your names on the clip board. "I'd like to witness your exceptional leadership skills."

In reality, Zhongli just wants to reenact a lovers-on-opposing sides trope, wanting to see how the two of you crack under the pressure. In a way, it is an exercise of leadership.

Instead of picking teams, Zhongli assigns teams for the both of you according to his own judgement, trying to make it as fair as possible.

Lisa pats your back after your teammates are assigned, trying to cheer you up. "It's going to be okay. You guys are dating now, so he'll go easy on you."

You look up to meet Childe's eyes from across the court. He gives you a charming smile, which turns downright barbaric as he lifts up a thumb and motions to slash his neck with it. Then he wickedly mouths "I'm going to destroy you."

You blink and turn away as fast as you can in fear. "We're fucked."

Lisa, witnessing the entire ordeal nods alongside you, doing nothing to reassure you because she herself has given up.

Suddenly a hand lands on your shoulder gripping you tightly. "Let's wipe the floor with that g*nger." The voice is ice cold, threatening enough to send a shiver down your bones.

You turn to meet Rosaria, who frowns at you. Most of the time she doesn't really put an effort in dodgeball, but she must've seen your crestfallen expression, trying to comfort you in her own detached way.

Rosaria is the other school nurse in training, alongside Barbara, but somehow her patients end up more injured, sick, or mentally defiled than before they entered the room. She also spends after hours beating up Chads in the school parking lot. Also runs a blog with her booby co-author Kaeya that emphasizes mostly on the dark knight hero.

Spotting the rest of your team behind her, you begin to criticize them one by one.

Standing against the wall is Kaeya, pushing both his biddies up with his crossed arms like an absolute whore. He's breaking about several dress code rules right now. Venti is next to him, drunk off his butt as he beat boxes with Tohma.

Eula mutters under her breath, on and on about seeking revenge on Zhongli for putting her beloved Amber on the opposing team, promising him an unfortunate fate. Xiao is miserably squatting on the floor, sharp eyes observing everyone in the gym, scowl not ready to dissipate anytime soon.

Then you look over at Childe's team in the distance. Jean with a determined look on her face as she listens to Childe's game plan, and Diluc crossing his arms with his brows furrowed in concentration. Even Amber, the best baller in the school, is stretching out her arms, assisted by the gifted princess of the school, Ayaka.

Not only that, but Childe has the king of dodging on his team—Kaedehara goddamn Kazuha. Beidou shoots you a wicked smirk, winking at you until she's disrupted by Ningguang's shove.

"Oh my god." You cry out when the realization hits you, falling to your knees in despair. "We're completely fucked!"

"No we aren't." Rosaria mutters lowly. "You're only fucked if you want to be. Don't you dare throw in the towel before the fight has even begun."

"But I—"

"Stop it." She grumbles again, rolling her eyes. "You're being annoying now. If you lose the game, that makes him the dom. Don't you want to be the dom?"

She's right. You do want to be the dom.

Her words of encouragement, and not at all veiled insults somehow allow you to find motivation deep within yourself. You get up and stomp towards the rest of your team, calling their attention with your newfound confidence.

"Listen here soldiers!" You shout out, determination clear as day. "I know I am not capable of leading. I know that I barely have the physical capabilities needed to defeat the opposite team."

You take a deep breath, pointing at your cutie patootie boyfriend across the gym as you seethe. "But that man, that harbinger of chaos, that instrument of war, is nothing but a tyrant. And I cannot let such a tyrant be a victor in this battle. Not when innocent lives are at stake."

Tohma speaks up, sending you a bewildered look. "What lives—"

"Shut the fuck up soldier!"

"Yessir!" He immediately stiffens, saluting you.

"Are you ready soldiers?" Your voice booms, and everyone reinforces their priorities, except for Kaeya though. He just lazily smirks.

After Zhongli places the balls in the middle, everyone prepares for the battle of the century.

'Gods, please let us win this war' you pray to the archons above, closing your eyes in concentration.

'Give me the strength to flex my superior skills' Childe wishes, then adds on quickly 'also I want to dominate this world.'

'Give me the strength to make it to Friday.' Rosaria prays for nobody but herself, rolls her eyes at all the unnecessary dramatics of this dodgeball game.

"3..." "2..." "1..."

Zhongli ends the countdown by blowing hard into a whistle, signaling the beginning of the game.

Not even two seconds later a ball whooshes past a few of you at the speed of light, followed by a tail of fire. The ball of death kisses Kaeya square in the nose, sending him reeling back into a wall with enough sheer force to cause an indent.

Everyone winces.

Before you all can reel in from the initial shock and make sense out of wherever the hell that asteroid came from, Zhongli's voice booms throughout the gymnasium.

"Mr. Ragnvindr, headshots are strictly forbidden. You are out!"

With a scoff, Diluc, satisfied with his work, leaves the court with no apparent qualms. He accepts his defeat with the upturned corners of his lips.

Rosaria pokes Kaeya's body with the tip of her heels, then cringes when he shakes awake, up from his short lived knockout and sends a wink her way.

"Getting handsy when I'm unconscious? I didn't think you'd be one to partake in such vulgar activities." His eye twinkles in mischief, and if his momentary defeat at the hands of brother has him fuming, he doesn't show it one bit.

The only thing that keeps Rosaria from knocking him out for real is the blood that trails down onto his lip. She doesn't want to clean blood off her shoes, especially since it's a pain in the ass to get off.

You're about to tell them to get up and take this seriously, but a softball does your job for you when it darts straight at Rosaria. With pristine accuracy, the girl manages to pitch herself away last minute.

You swivel in Childe's direction, who wears a remorseless grin, which only grows wider once you pick up a blue softball next to your feet.

The glare that he receives has him shaking in exhilaration. More so than the elation he'd felt when he took down that Stonehide Lawachurl for you, as a gift of promise.

You begin to bark out orders. "Eula, Xiao, and Rosaria cover the front and act as decoys."

They nod immediately, but Xiao still clicks his tongue in distaste as he starts following orders.

Then you offer Kaeya a hand. "Get up princess. You're on sniper duty."

With Diluc out of commission, the battle is fair and square now considering both sides have the same amount of people. Ergo, no one's at a disadvantage.

That is—until Lisa fake trips over pure air, landing on the floor in a dramatic slow motion.

You roll your eyes.

"Oh dear! I think I've twisted something." She cries out, crawling away from the battle field, acting as if she's paralyzed completely. "Don't worry about me. I'll cheer you on from afar. The battle has begun, and it seems as if I've become the first casualty."

You don't let the countless amount of Lisa's betrayals get to you, even this one. It's just her personality to flake out on anything and everything that requires her to do more than below the bare minimum.

Focusing on the match, your eyes are only on Childe, just as his are on you.

You aim the ball straight at his ribs, step back a bit, then propel the ball in the air with as much energy as you can, using your entire body as a power outlet. The ball spins in the air, reaching the awaiting victim.

Childe, unbothered, dodges the ball with perfect precision, the ball not even grazing his clothes at the least.

Your jaw drops open, and you're about to move for another ball until he grabs the same ball you threw at him. With the sharpness of a predator locking in on its pray, he focuses on you like a missile locks on its target, launching the ball in the air for power that has you trembling, second to the powerful ball that was thrown by Diluc.

With your pupils dilated at your impeding doom, it's Xiao that grabs you and thrusts away.

The ball lands on the floor, smoke rising.

"Holy shit!" You shriek over everyone else's grunts and shuffles. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Isn't it poetic?" Childe shouts back while he slides away from the balls being thrown. "Lover against lover. Either you're by my side, or in my way. And right now, you're in my way." He narrows his eyes dangerously. "Albeit reluctantly, I will take the victory babe. Even if we are on opposing sides."

"There was zero reluctance in that throw asshole!"

You thank Xiao, who wipes his hands on his pants in disgust. "Filthy humans. So pathetic and weak."

Mildly offended, you roll your sleeves up and begin to fight with everything you've got as soon as he walks away.

The dodgeball game goes as expected for the most part, Eula carrying for most of it with the flow of her skills.

Tohma actually tries like the presumptuous asshole he is, aims straight for his girlfriend Ayaka, and takes her out completely. His only justification for that is "I ain't no simp!"

He shelves his cocky attitude when facing Childe with a sense of dignity and prestige you didn't think he had in him.

The two one of a kind fuckbois puff out their chests so that they look more hefty than they are, having some kind of an Alpha match. The 'me stronger than you. me dominant. me get all the women' type beat.

Unfortunately, Childe manages to fence him with his throws, and lo and behold, the square off ends with a dejected Tohma dragging his feet to the nearest bench.

Eula oversees that Ningguang and Beidou meet a quick end, taking their slower dodging to her advantage. You're actually rooting for her, tasting a sliver of victory that you haven't reached yet. So close, yet so far.

Amber trips on herself in the middle of throwing a what should've been coordinated ball, and it loses most of its momentum. Xiao is directly in front of it, and will probably be able to catch it with ease.

Ah, another short victory.

If Childe loses his expert baller, he's only left with Kazuha and Jean, whom's lack in the art of throwing is made up by their ability to dodge most of the fastballs.

However, all your plans and hopes are crushed when Eula slides in front of Xiao last minute, sticks out her foot, and let's the pathetic product of Amber's would-be downfall hit her on the leg with the total force of about 0.0000001 newtons.

Your chances of winning have just went down by a staggering 60%.

"Eula!" You cry out, collapsing on the ground. "How could you?"

Tohma cups his mouth and bellows obnoxiously from the bench. "SIMP!"

"I cannot avenge my clan if I win a false victory." Eula crosses her arms, casting her gaze down in visible uncomfortableness. "Amber will pay her dues in two business days. Mark my words."

It all a load of cap. She's sleeping with the enemy and you know it.

You grit your teeth. Fuming with an abundance of rage, you pick up three balls and throw them all back to back, taking out Amber and Kazuha simultaneously.

Childe's heart flutters in another kind of delight when you pluck out his team members one by one with no hints of remorse.

In retaliation, Jean and Childe work in sync to swiftly take care of a distracted Rosaria.

"Shit." You hiss underneath your breath.

It's Venti, Kaeya, Xiao, and you who are the only remainders of your short-lived team. It's still two more people than Childe and Jean, giving you the upper hand briefly.

It's a mystery to everyone how Venti is still standing. You reckoned you would've lost him as collateral during the beginning of the match, but it seems he's able to hold his own.

When you squint hard enough, you realize that Xiao has been t-posing in front of the nonchalant SoundCloud rapper that's about as high as a kite. He must've been defending him throughout the entire round.

His defenses are all in vain once Childe correlates another attack with Jean, sharp-shooting four rapid balls that are secured on their targets.

Xiao swerves to the side, avoiding most of them, until one is about to reach a nonchalant as shit Venti.

You scream at him, eyes widening as you run towards them in slow motion. "NOoOoOOOo-"

The yaksha doesn't waste a moment, shifting so that he's covering Venti's body with his own, which to be honest is a pretty heartwarming sight.

The ball hits his lean back, a sharp thud following when it hits the floor.

Xiao is out. But his sacrifice is so inspiring that it brings tears to Zhongli's eyes, makes everyone in the gym go silent in awe.

Even the sadistic Childe melts, cerulean eyes gaining back their light, halting his fire.

When Xiao finally uncovers Venti's body, he speaks from the bottom of his dead heart. "I'd do anything for you..."

Venti shakes out of his baked state, blinking at him stupidly with a nervous chuckle. "Ehe~? I don't even know who you are."

The entire class sweat drops. Whatever slip of compassion on Childe's face earlier has become nothing but a memory. Even your eyes dim.

The next time Childe aims and locks at Venti, it's not with malicious intent. It's a favour, for you. In a way it adds dimension to who he is and the lengths he's willing to go for you, even at war.

Venti steps away with a bounce in his gait, hands behind his head.

Kaeya and you are the only ones left standing now, and the game becomes too tight knit to tell which side's going to win. It becomes utter chaos, balls being launched every second, stamina slowly decreasing as everyone lurches away from their demise.

As laid-back  and charming as the boy presents himself to be in front of the ladies, he's not very patient when it comes to facing circumstances like these. He's side lined for most of the match, finding it boring. And when Kaeya gets bored, the intensity of the tide changes, and everyone knows they're going to get a run for their money.

Kaeya coasts a hand around your hips, pulls you real close, purposefully leaning his bust into the side your innocent arm.

When Childe's smile drops, and the glint in his eyes reads 'DANGER' in full caps, you know it's time to be properly scared.

Your blood runs cold, mouth opening briefly and then clamping shut immediately.

"I'm so glad to be on your team Y/N. Maybe this'll give us the chance to become...closer." His hot breath fans against your ear, voice loud enough to be heard by onlookers.

Suddenly everything stops, falling into an unsettling silence.

You attempt glance at Childe, being met with a glare that's directed at the Captain of the Skating team. The ball in the orange-haired boy's hand deflates from the sheer intensity of the squeeze.

The tension becomes unreadable. Even Zhongli is caught mid-sip with his tea.

Quickly, you shrug off Kaeya's arm. "Childe, he's just fucking with you—"

Childe cuts you off by hurling a ball with nothing but the objective of cold blooded murder.

Kaeya whizzes past you, successfully ducking to avoid the hit, and his amused laugh rings through your ears. He rolls away from the following attacks, chucking his own series of colourful balls.

The events that unfold are blood-curdling enough to make even Satan boil his pants with diarrhea.

You take the clear opportunity presented by their concurrent dumbassery to take out Jean, the ace of the other team.

Childe's rage blows over when Kaeya eventually loses interest and takes the L, playfully winking at you while walking backwards to the rest of your team.

Now that all the distractions are dealt with, Childe's eyes flicker to you, and you share a murderous glance.

"Finally," He slaps the softball with a free hand, lips thinning into a homicidal smile. "I've been waiting for this. You better not disappoint me."

While Childe may be a violent anarchist who's only aspiration in life is to become a government contracted killer, he's also supposed to be your sweet boyfriend.

Slowly, you inch towards the front. "We don't have to do this Childe. We can coexist peacefully."

"Peace was never an option Y/N." He sighs, cracking his neck. "Besides—how else can I prove myself in your eyes? You may be my greatest weakness, but you are also my greatest adversary."

"I don't know, maybe start with not trying to obliterate me?"

"I'm obliterating you out of respect." He counters with a playful pout.

"Well I'll be paying my respects to your grave!" You lurch ahead into a sudden assault, yeeting as many balls as you can his way.

"That's my girl!" Childe whistles, grin widening psychotically when he goes all out, leaving you with an absence in favorable openings.

Out of nowhere, the fire alarms start going haywire, along with a beep in the PA system, which stops you two in your tracks.

A panicked voice of who you assume to be Yanfei shrieks through the comms. "CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE! EVACUATE THE BUILDING, THERE'S A STONEHIDE LAWACHURL ON THE PREMISES."

As if on cue, the ground starts rumbling and a Stonehide Lawachurl bursts through the halls and into the gym, looking around for something. Or rather, someone. It's sharp bumps and ridges make an indent on the floor, cracking it in.

Everyone falls into a state of panic, Zhongli trying his best to evacuate the class from the emergency back door as quickly as possible. "Settle down class, we have to follow protocol."

You, devoid of any emotion or sense of fear, turn to your boyfriend in such a calm manner it strikes an ominous dread in his stomach.

You stare.

Childe stares harder.

“I thought you killed it."

"I did." He retorts slowly, switching to gaze at the raging beast in amazement.

"Then why is it in the school!" You seethe, glaring daggers at his side profile.

Childe chuckles sheepishly, scratches the back of his neck. "I may or may not have stuffed the body in the boys washroom. Y'know, for safe keeping?"

The Lawachurl locks it's gaze on you, the prey, and then roars furiously. Turning into its geo-enhanced state, it begins charging at you with all its might, the target being solely Childe.

Leave it to your boyfriend to get on the hit list of an endangered beast.

"Fear not my vibrant girlfriend. Our first date can be surviving this." Childe cheekily kisses the top of your trembling hand before grasping it tightly and making a run for it.

[huihuiheart]

Stray Kids Masterlist

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Key: 🔞- 18+ 🤬 - Angst 😊 - Fluff : 💗 - Female Reader 💙 - Male Reader 💜 - Gender Neutral Reader

Group:

MTL to Have a Corruption Kink - 🔞💜- Warnings: Smut

MTL Stamina - 🔞💜 -  Warnings: Smut

MTL Dom - 🔞💜 - Warnings: Smut

MTL Hard to Soft Dom - 🔞💜 - Warnings: Smut

MTL Boobs vs Ass - 😊🔞💗 - Warnings: Suggestive

Dark Web - 😊🤬💜 - Summary: You were the only thing that connected them, and they couldn’t risk that. -  Warnings: Serial killers, dark web, stalker themes, murder (there are serial killers), blood, gore, bombs, shooting, guns, stabbing, knifes, drowning, beating, poisoning, arson, bondage, kidnapping, strangulation, mutilation, bodies, car accident, run over, mentions of police(investigating the murders no actually scenes w/ them at all), mentions of pepper spray.  - Part 2 Here

Bang Chan:

BDSM Party Scenes 1 (ft. Hanse, Minho, Lay, Jun, Mingyu) - 🔞💗 -  Summary: It’s party time! So idols, actors, and business men/women lead very busy and very STRESSFUL lives! But as the saying goes, work hard, play hard!  Luckily for you, your (friend/girlfriend/whoever you want to make it) has recently made it big enough as a business woman to invite you the rookie idol to the BDSM parties she’s getting into now. Really there are so many possibilities of who you could see like this…….as a dom or sub……So relax and enjoy yourself,  maybe get some marks here and there as a reminder, either way once you cum once you’ll always come back. -  Warnings: NSFW, FxF, MxM, FxM, switch! reader, you’re giving and receiving from another female @  some point in this, this is kinda obvious but um BDSM, cumplay, degradation, marking?, breeding, wax?, spanking, oral (recieving and giving), penatration, pegging, lots of the S&M in BDSM, lots of bondage too, basically an orgy just with slightly less alcohol than typical, drinking, slapping. I think that’s pretty much the warnings. If you ARE NOT OKAY with any of the above or things pertaining to BSDM please DO NOT continue reading this, it is not for you then. But feel free to request something else you’d like to read. Also clean up and stay safe kids, please please please don’t follow some of what happens in this and be careful when it comes to sex….I just like writing it filthy and I have a cum play kink, but please be careful!

Muse - 😊🔞💜 - Summary: Chan can’t get you out of his head. -  Warnings: Masturbation, implied sex, dirty thoughts

Unchained - 🤬😊🔞💗 -  Summary: You knew your boyfriend was likely up to no good, but you assumed it was just a slight drug problem or something of the sort. At least, until he takes you with him, something you agree to only to know what kind of man you’re dating. Only to find out it’s much worse than you think, he’s been helping kidnap hybrids for illegal underground fights. Something you can’t stomach, but you also can’t just do nothing...which is exactly what the authorities would do. So you decide to break the hybrids out before you leave, only in the process you may end up stuck with a hybrid of your own. - Warnings: Hybrid Fights, Violence, aggression, domestic abuse? (an ex gets a little rough/aggressive), blood, slight gore, underground fighting, mentions of kidnapping, drugs, alcohol, betting, mentions of death, cops/detectives, gun fights, bullet wounds, unprotected sex, cursing, biting, marking (kind of, briefly mentioned), clothes ripping, Chan is impatient, and somewhat feral, bondage, oral (f! receiving), overstimulation, spanking, choking (slight).

Trust Issues - 🤬💜-  Summary: Lies are too easy to believe when there’s trust issues involved. - Warnings: Cheating themes, yelling, cursing, exposing of secrets, mentions of health conditions, lies, just in general things blow the fuck up.

Think Twice -  😊🔞💗  - Summary: You burst into his studio intent on giving him a mouthful only for you to get one instead. - Warnings: Slight dom/sub themes (if you squint), oral (m! receiving), cursing, use of term baby girl, use of term good girl, some dirty talk/scolding, mostly praise.

Lee Know:

Spiked - 😊🤬🔞💗 -  Summary: It’s pretty much tradition at this point that Changbin spikes the eggnog at the annual Christmas party. What happens though when secrets slip through drunk lips and aren’t forgotten the next morning? At least not forgotten by the very person you confessed to. -  Warnings: Drinking (not drunk when having sex), drunken confessions?, cursing, some angst in the beginning, smut, lovemaking, unprotected sex (stay safe kids), oral (f! receiving), lots of petnames, moments where Minho is kinda smug, lots of praise, it’s sugary sweet, mild sir kink for a moment, fingering, some playful teasing.

BDSM Party Scenes 1 (ft. Hanse, Chan, Lay, Jun, Mingyu) - 🔞💗 -  Summary: It’s party time! So idols, actors, and business men/women lead very busy and very STRESSFUL lives! But as the saying goes, work hard, play hard!  Luckily for you, your (friend/girlfriend/whoever you want to make it) has recently made it big enough as a business woman to invite you the rookie idol to the BDSM parties she’s getting into now. Really there are so many possibilities of who you could see like this…….as a dom or sub……So relax and enjoy yourself,  maybe get some marks here and there as a reminder, either way once you cum once you’ll always come back. -  Warnings: NSFW, FxF, MxM, FxM, switch! reader, you’re giving and receiving from another female @  some point in this, this is kinda obvious but um BDSM, cumplay, degradation, marking?, breeding, wax?, spanking, oral (recieving and giving), penatration, pegging, lots of the S&M in BDSM, lots of bondage too, basically an orgy just with slightly less alcohol than typical, drinking, slapping. I think that’s pretty much the warnings. If you ARE NOT OKAY with any of the above or things pertaining to BSDM please DO NOT continue reading this, it is not for you then. But feel free to request something else you’d like to read. Also clean up and stay safe kids, please please please don’t follow some of what happens in this and be careful when it comes to sex….I just like writing it filthy and I have a cum play kink, but please be careful!

Spotty - 🔞💜-  Summary: Sometimes things got a little messy when you and Minho were together, but that only made it that much sweeter. - Warnings: Dom/Sub themes, vampire themes, biting, light blood play (pertaining to the bites), sex, unprotected sex, slight manhandling, some claiming themes.

His Kitten - 😡😊🔞💗 - Summary: When Chan’s girl invited you who knew you could get under his skin so well, only now it’s time for him to teach you what the consequences of your actions are.- Warnings: Mafia Au, guns, side character getting shot, cursing, alcohol, edging,  organsm denial, overstim (suggested), gagging (with panties), dom/sub themes, brat taming themes, spanking (reader rec), oral (both rec), degradation, dirty talk, use of the name kitten.

Changbin:

Flustered - 😊💜 - Summary:  Ask anyone else and they would say that Changbin is much higher on the social food chain, and yet he wasn’t the one who seemed to have the upper hand here. - Warnings: None?

Double Edged -  😊🤬💗- Summary: Changbin was devoted to you, to the point of worshipping the ground you walked on. He was determined to make sure that you never dirtied your hand or even lifted a finger for that matter, even if it meant he had to everything himself. - Warnings: Reader is pretty toxic, toxic/abusive family shit (mentions of yelling and crashing sounds), murder, death, blood, manipulation, cursing, branding, implied sex.

Hyunjin:

The Chef’s In - 😊🔞🤬💗 - Summary: Soft? turned smutty?..........Oof all I write is filth..........also please someone request some writing I’m dying.......... You break off your friends with benefits deal with Hyunjin when the new girl in town has you catching feelings. Only you’re making your move on the hottie a little too slow for Hyunjin’s tastes and he decides it’s time to intervene, you know as a best friend should. Also as I wrote this Hyunjin kinda just vibed as a fuckboy through the whole thing, sorry not sorry(honestly, it’s kinda hot in my opinion anyways). -  Warnings: Smut, CUCKQUEAN vibes(as the f!reader and unmarried), bi!reader, dirty talk, degradation, bondage, kitchen sex...., unprotected sex, cum play, FxF, oral, fingering, spanking, more slight? BDSM, f! reader turning on dom! Hyunjin, switch! Hyunjin, brat taming?, slight pet play?, friends with benefits and maybe some feelings oof, and some poly themes maybe? Fboy vibes, marking (giving), hair tugging, cock warming, sub drop (fem character).    

Sex God - 😊🔞🤬💗 - Summary:  He was no angel, but he was definitely a god. - Warnings: Jealous sex (implied), Hyunjin is a god, and a flirt, and possessive sorry not sorry , brat taming(mostly implied), spanking.

Sex God Part 2 -  😊🔞🤬💗 - Summary: You made Hyunjin jealous and now you’d have to face the repercussions. Something you may have thought about a little more ahead of time, considering he had a few tricks up is sleeves. - Warnings: Jealous sex, unprotected sex, punishment, dom/sub themes, some bdsm themes, bondage, claiming, marking, biting, dirty talk, degradation, power play, corruption kink (hinted at), sensory play (kind of), oral ( m receiving), exhibition (slight), brat taming, spanking, orgasm control/denial, master kink, sex toys, vibrators, paddles, hair pulling, spit, cumshot, cum eating, squirting, praise, mirror sex.

I Plead Insanity - 🤬💜 - Summary: You were wrongly declared insane, but why? -  Warnings: Insane asylums, stalker themes, kidnapping, Hyunjin calls reader pretty because it seems like what he’d do regardless of gender (lets face it anyone can be pretty), cursing.

Hyunjin As A Bad Boy - 🤬🔞💜 -  Warnings: Mentions of drinking, smoking, drugs, mildly suggestive themes.

Hyunjin As A Tattoo/Piercing Artist - 😊🤬🔞💜 -  Warnings: Tattoos, piercings, needles, potential mildly suggestive themes, in all this should be relatively SFW

 Love Potion #9 - 😊🔞💜 - Summary: Implied Smut Drabble, based on  “I love the sweet, romantic, gentle sex, babe, but I also just want you to throw me down and make me scream. Y’know?” -  Warnings: Implied smut, implied rough sex, light dom/sub themes. - Valentine’s Day Drabble Event

Special Present (ft. Seonghwa) - 😊🔞💗 - Summary: Your girlfriend may be an open book, but put her in the right company and maybe she does still have a few tricks up her sleeve. Tricks that involved some of your very attractive friends. - Girlfriend’s going to be called bunny in this piece. - Warnings: Foursome, Dom/Sub themes, Soft and hard dom themes, this is gonna just be pure filth, oral (giving + receiving...there’s a lot of oral going around in this), fingering, sir kink, hair pulling, spanking, hand job, mommy kink, spit, slapping, some overstimulation, face sitting, unprotected sex, choking (slight), edging, biting, praise, degradation.

Fake It Till You Make It - 😊💜 - Summary: Hyunjin was willing to help you out at the price of his heart, only it turns out he might not be the only one who isn’t actually faking it anymore. - Warnings: Some angst, cursing, rumors.

Angelic Amaryllis - 😊💜 - Summary: When you first met Hyunjin you thought he was just an annoying, cocky playboy. Now you think he annoying, cocky, but also adorable as all heck.  - Warnings: Hyunjin is a little playfully (annoyingly) cocky, and reader teases him a little bit.

Hair Ties -  😊🔞🤬💗 - Summary: Harboring a rebel in your barn on a gut feeling turns into the best decision of you life when he becomes the most important person in it. - Warnings: Mentions of parent death, entitled men, rumors, fire, burns, cursing, almost forced marriage, war themes, rebellion themes, violence themes, unprotected sex, oral, light bondage, light dom/sub themes, Hyunjin slaps reader's thigh once, big dick Hyunjin. I think that's all.

Han:

Wet - 🔞💗 - Summary: Honestly, it’s just shower sex. -  Warnings: Just smut honestly, unprotected sex, shower sex, hand job, fingering, slight dom/sub themes.

Break Me - 🔞💜-  Summary: Jisung had been sweet in the bedroom, almost too sweet. Which is why you found it impossible to believe his BDSM test results. Of course, if they were true then maybe you should push him to actually show you what they mean. - Warnings: Dom/Sub themes, kind of implies that reader has been dom at some point so switch themes, sadomasochistic themes, implied smut, spanking, cursing, brat taming, Jisung gets a tad feral, degradation.

Tracklist -  🔞💜 - Summary: Jisung sends you his completed tracklist at 3am hoping for input, only there was something unexpected on the list instead. - Warnings: Masturbation, audio sex, dirty talk, cursing, switch themes.

Felix:

Breaking Point - 😊🤬💜 -  Summary: Everyone has there limits, but sometimes there’s someone around who can help you push past them too. -  Warnings: Angst, mental/emotional health breaking point, themes of giving up, a breakdown, SFW piece

Listen Closely - 🔞💗 - Summary: When you were hoping for a punishment this wasn’t quite what you were expecting. -  Warnings: Sensory play/deprivation, dom! Felix, like I’d say he gets a bit feral in this….., overstimulation, brat taming, bondage, Felix is just straight up a little shit in this, teasing, sex toys, sir kink (just to mix things up), angry sex? (kinda he’s a little pissed at the brattiness, but he also loves it so…take that however you want), Felix calls the reader kitten, dirty talk, light degradation, masturbation, spanking,mentions of squirting, implied sex (once again I gotta be a little shit and stop before we get to the good part, I’m just in a mood rn I guess).

Cursed - 😊🤬💜 - Summary: Maybe you should have just let treasure hunter Felix take this one on alone. -  Warnings: Tombs, curses, booby traps, skeletons, mentions of blood.

Felix As a Stripper - 🔞💜 - Headcanons - Warnings: NSFW themes, Stripper Themes

Say Sorry - 😊🤬💗 - Summary: You and Felix had a history, not publicly of course...that didn’t make things any less awkward behind the scenes though. Especially when his group was the one your rookie group had just been assigned a special stage with. -  Warnings: Mentions of a breakup, mentions of partial nudity, mildly suggestive, some cursing.

Savior - 🤬😊🔞💗 - Summary: Things were about to go very poorly for you, until a vampire stepped in anyways. If only he knew why he had... - Warnings: Kidnapping themes, violent themes, vampire themes, biting, blood, implied smut.

Homecoming - 😊💗 - Summary: You and Felix decided it was time to visit your family, even after all this time he was still nervous about his impression though. Especially when you had news to share with them. - Warnings: Pregnancy.

Deep  -  🔞💗 - Summary: His voice isn't all that's deep. -  Warnings: Voice kink, cursing, teasing, unprotected sex, lack of foreplay, implied eating out.

Seungmin:

Don’t Tempt - 🤬🔞💜 - Summary: You knew he said what he did to make you snap...and it worked. -  Warnings: Oral (m receiving), dom! reader + sub! Seungmin, virgin Seungmin, slight degradation (once again much more like teasing), baby boy kink, angry sex?, slightly cum play, cum eating.

Depths - 🤬💜 - Summary: Today was not going your way, and meeting a demon only added to that. -  Warnings: Sinkhole, demons, hell, implied death? kinda, a little cursing, threats. - Part 2 (w/ Chan) _

New Thing - 😊💜- Summary: You and Seungmin were still new to being a couple, that meant you were still in the mushy stages. - Warnings: This is cliché and kind of cheesy.

Jeongin:

Sugar - 😊💜 -  Summary: It seemed like just a little crush, but was that really all it was? -  Warnings: um none? It’s fluffy, SFW

Overdue - 😊💜- Summary: Some time just the two of you was long overdue and you weren’t going to let your boyfriend’s playful nature keep that from happening.  - Warnings: Playful teasing, teasing threats, I think that’s it.

Series:

D&D Series Masterlist - 😊🤬💗 (There is a SFW version and an 18+ version) - Knight! Chan x Reader, Thief! Felix x Reader, Dark Prince! Hyunjin x Reader, Fairy! Jisung x Reader ft. other members - Summary: It was just supposed to be a game, but instead this is your world now. - Warnings: Vary by chapter, violent themes, angst, smut/suggestive themes

Not Your Average Vacation - 😊🔞💜(Afab) -  Summary: Stress levels have been high among all of you lately, so what better way to resolve that than to go on a vacation. Of course there were always other methods for stress relief too. - Warnings: Dom/Sub themes, switch themes, implied smut, drinking, drinking games, being drunk, this is just a lead in, so you’re not going to be getting too many details. - Part 2 - Part 3

[detectivenyx]

I really had to rack my brain to see how morally corrupt everyone really was. Everyone can't be that bad right? Nico…oh wait he attempted murder, Hu…oh wait she keeps defending Nico but I wouldn't say she's a bad person. Rose? Uh dubiously illegal talent. Veronika and Whit haven't hurt people yet. and Charles trying to be better person. Then there's J who seems like the more normal one but then there's her internalized misogyny. Levi is complicated and solely dependent on whether the murders he just casually committed were really justified.

veronika's definitely gotten Weird with certain topics and been seriously insensitive (despite at another point, stopping all personalization of her dialogue to paraphrase the wikipedia page for panic attacks) and one of the first things whit does is make a racist joke about Hu's name, to the point where the creator had to go back and say whit's dad was Chinese so that this blonde blue-eyed white boy could be retroactively not really fucking insensitive about that. don't really care if these people are trying to be better when the point they start from is barely a step above what i would consider an elon musk fanboy.

It was kind of weird how someone had a secret like "You are responsible for the death game" which was shown to everyone around the time Arei died and nobody cared even when it was "revealed" that it Xander secret. (No one in the fandom believes David was telling the truth but whatever)

guarantee that this is the show blatantly telling you that Xander's the mastermind, and no matter if that is the case or not, this is an extremely clumsy way of conveying the information. because it makes no sense if it's just a 'david lied completely' plotpoint.

Xander was one thing in Ch.1 but then having two crazy crash out in the in Ch.2 with David and Arturo (maybe we can include Nico when he was caught but not sure) was a bit obsessive and annoying more than shocking. Ruins impact of future crash-outs.

iirc nico uses they/them pronouns but i mean, pretty much every time a character that's not Eden runs into a mild inconvenience their hair goes unkempt and they start giggling and acting Anime Mentally Unstable and laughing at everyone etc etc etc. veronika's done it, teruko's extremely guilty of it, etc. it's the only trick the author knows and it's blatantly obvious

Puss in boots while being children's film was written by a team of professionals which I'm pretty sure DTDev is not a professional. I'm not 100% sure if they are the only writer but it seems like they do most of the writing work. I wouldn't say that adult media should be inherently better at tackling panic attacks since all ages should learn about this equally. Children media creators don't seem to be do it often but I'm glad we are seeing more nowadays with Puss in boots and inside out 2.

i feel like this is disingenous if it's coupled with "fandom content can be BETTER than the original!" if fandom content can be better, then it can be held to the same standards. we have so much research out in the world these days available for them to use, as well as it being kind of obvious that your character's exposition should be woven in with the dialogue and action. instead if a concept regarding a minority needs to be explained the breaks are pulled and it's usually not even the minority in question that gets to answer - veronika answers for charles when he has a panic attack and hu answers for nico about being nonbinary. my point was more that having a character stop the plot to read the wikipedia article for a marginalised topic is just straight up bad writing, and that puss in boot's literary depiction, which needs to be nuanced while keeping in mind a younger audience, pulled it off, while DT just couldn't even without that restriction.

The events that lead to the neck wound itself are relevant to the story. The neck wound was a reminder that he would definitely die which pushed him even further to commit murder. The attempted murder inspired Ace to recreate it to frame Nico. Nico slitting his neck was more most logically thing to do since their attempt failed and Nico didn't have any weapon on them besides the wire and they definitely weren't strong enough to use the dumbell. Also to clarify, Arei was not murdered by that point as the Arei was alive the day after the Nico-Ace incident. She died 2 days after that incident in the morning.

that all explains why ace needed to be injured, but gives no reason it had to be a neck injury - besides getting stabbed in the back of the head it's one of the hardest to fucking survive and would've severely weakened Ace, which then makes no sense why he can get back up and kill Arei two days later - like no, that man would be hospitalised. you could kill arei with another method - Ace could've been stabbed and have the knife miss his organs, meaning once patched up he's a bit worse for wear but otherwise fine, then he stabs Arei and does not miss her organs.

Hard disagree with the lack of variety and especially the "nurture types" because only Hu and Eden were nurturing. Maybe Rose? Rose didn't really have that vibe to me, just chill. J would hate to be motherly. Veronika creeps everyone out. Min was just nice but that's not enough to be nurturing. Arei and Teruko we can agree don't qualify. This could just be arguing subjectivity over subjectivity but the female characters never felt similar to each other. As for screentime during Daily Life, in Chapter 1 the bigger character moments went to Xander, Teruko, Charles, and Arei but Chapter 2 we learned alot more about Rose, Nico, Arei, David, J. Arturo, Eden, Ace, Levi were pretty relevant especially with the scenes with Eden and Teruko.

J kind of didn't get much in ch1 and i was checking out by ch2, and doesn't seem like she had much of an impact on that chapter anyway with the fact she's talked about so little that even the fans seem to forget she exists. veronika creeps people out, but her vibe is still intended to be nurturing. if a character isn't Teruko or a nurturing type (i mean, there was that whole thing in ch1 with the cookie-baking while the guys got an arm wrestling contest or whatever, where the only participant who was a girl and beat anyone (arei) did so by distracting the male characters, iirc) they tend to get either sidelined by the story or just straight up killed off. i also don't think arei got much at all in ch1 beyond the aforementioned arm wrestling and getting to pickpocket min, charles also didn't get much beyond his involvement with the case - only characters i'd argue actually got shit were teruko and xander as you said. for a first chapter that's kind of appalling, but to be fair, nearly every fangan falls into the trap of the first chapter just being the least interesting one because everyone writes them chronologically and are still finding their legs with it. i still really think the girls in this just are genuinely given nowhere near the same depth as the guys.

In terms of punishment, Xander attempts to murder Teruko and gets killed for it. Ace acts out against Nico and gets his throat slits or his hand gets crushed for being cocky. Levi brutalized twice in the killing game. Also most of the men/masc presenting characters get called out for their behavior by other characters. I don't see where characters are being "rewarded". Also there's not really enough deaths to make any make real conclusion on which gender had it worse. Arei died more peacefully than Ace or Xander.

xander is given a fairly mild case of lethal electrocution. ace's ultimate execution is also fairly tame. i wouldn't argue levi was 'brutalized' given both his frame and how easily he seems to shrug it off. being called out isn't really the same as being punished - ace is the only one genuinely punished, and usually his punishment is his cowardice, weakness, or incompetence being portrayed in a very flamboyant, high-pitched, therefore, feminine, fashion. david gets access to information that the others do not. and again, the berth of difference between ace's execution and min's. ace gets a mild case of cardiac arrest (they literally spell this out) for no regrets beyond his own. min breaks down sobbing about how she did it to save teruko and gets one arm broken, the other one cut off, kicked to the ground and literally torn apart by wolves. one dies because his heart gives out and the other dies because she was gored to death. the secrets motive is another piece of evidence - all the male secrets are about how horrible they are, how bad they are to the people around them, how badly they ruined the lives of others - with the exception of min and arei, all the girls' secrets are about how they ruined their own lives, how they hurt themselves. min and arei were immediately punished for that by being executed and dying one after the other. is it a conscious narrative decision? probably not, but that's not getting them off the hook.

Out of curiosity, any thoughts on Danganronpa Despair Time since you referenced it in your Edens Garden post?

it's impressive they made something so thorough on their own and kept a digestible scope, but as someone whose background is in writing it is startlingly clear that the DTDev's background is not (iirc, they even admitted such after the release of chapter 2). if i had to pick between them, i would choose despair time, but to me it's like asking which leg i'd like broken.

it was much longer than i expected so uh, here's a break. also obvious spoilers and negative opinions inbound so if that's a sensitivity maybe scroll past this one:

quite frankly teruko is one of the most insufferable protagonists i've ever fucking seen in anything period. until she gets shanked by whatshisface (i'm legitimately blanking on his name. was it michael? the british dude with one eye) she has legitimately no real character outside of complaining about her bad luck and once she is shanked she becomes an extremely generic edgelord, complete with getting a black-coat makeover to show how deep dark and edgy she is now. i don't really enjoy throwing around the term since it's one steeped in so much misogyny it really isn't funny, but i genuinely cannot find any other words to describe teruko other than 'mary sue'. she repeatedly fucks over the people around her both through accidents and deliberate actions yet though she goes on and on about how she's more punished than her peers, she never really suffers a single consequence for being a shithead, the others are still willing to throw their safety on the line for her where they don't for other characters.

at best, the rest of the characters are bland copy-pastes of canon DR tropes (arei? the blue-haired bowling girl? yeah that's just hiyoko saionji, but she did a 180 on the colour wheel. she's one of the better characters) and at worst they seem like they're just lab-engineered for the single purpose of generating moments. i mean no exaggeration when i say every single character with the exception of maybe eden fucking sucks as a person. and that's fine beyond the fact it creates the opposite effect to canon danganronpa: whereas i dreaded finding dead bodies in danganronpa, i'm relieved to find a dead body with despair time. and it does not seem like that's the intended effect, which indicates something's gone horribly wrong somewhere. they also just do not react appropriately to revelations and even just speed through them if the revelation isn't "so-and-so was actually a lunatic all along" - like, the revelation that everyone lost SEVERAL YEARS OF THEIR LIVES was kind of just an 'eh', never really focused on.

its tonally kind of shitty. as indicated by the last dotpoint, revelations are kind of jumped over, important moments with setting the tone are kind of just treated like formalities to get to the REAL meat (joss whedon-style quipping, racist jokes, and anime humour that was funny in 2009-2012 and is not so much funny anymore). it's focused more on its moments, but it only has one moment: [Character Does The Yandere Thing], where a character begins to act insane regardless of buildup, and it's always the same insanity where they grin a little too wide and start saying that nobody understands them and they get a little Unhinged as the kids say yadda yadda the influence from Yandere Simulator of all things is on full display, particularly with the first murder. like that is LITERALLY one of the elimination methods from yandere simulator. and if that blonde twink doesn't shut his stupid fucking mouth i'm going to kill him myself. and it was always jarring whenever it tried to explain a complicated issue because the actual pacing and style of the story would screech to a fucking steel-wall HALT so a character could read off the wikipedia entry for Panic Attack or Nonbinary. and it was just as weird when people said this was a good way to address that. obviously drawing attention to these issues is in fact good, but not just having a character break character to quickly read one of the first Google results for it. how'd puss in boots: the last wish, a CHILDREN'S FILM, manage a more nuanced and subtle depiction of a panic attack than this media intended for young adults.

the story keeps making fucking visits to chekhov's arsenal but never fires any of the weapons it gets from there, with my main complaint being ace's neck wound - there's no point to it BEING a neck wound. does it factor into how he conducts himself at the trial? nope. does it factor into a character arc? nope. does it even factor into his execution? nope! the story does not change in any way if ace gets a different injury, actually he had already murdered arei by this point - the story wouldn't change if he was uninjured (and if he is injured it's stupid the way he killed arei because a slit throat, if you're lucky enough to survive, will in fact put you at a major disadvantage if it doesn't put you in the hospital outright). it also feels like ideas get picked up and dropped faster than diving sticks in a pool.

the non-WASP names range from 'ehhhh' to 'total nonsense'. teruko's name, while it has legal kanji (well, one legal reading), translates approximately to "Superior Child" "Rice Field Armpit". hu's name is the wrong way around, if they're writing Firstname Lastname, it's Jing Hu according to the hànzì that translates to it. min jeung only has a first name but her first name is given the gravitas of being her full name for some reason. charles and j's last names are nouns, which isn't how hispanic last names work. and veronika's last name is total fucking nonsense. her first name's a german first name, and then her last name starts serbian and ends russian while ignoring both of their naming conventions. the author iirc justified this with 'well they're american immigrants' but that's not how immigrant names work.

the fangan, like pretty much all others, just fucking hates women. for one, teruko's the only female character who gets any amount of fleshing out - the dudes get fleshing out and half the women get lucky if they're even acknowledged in a scene that's not the introductions or a trial. the women in despair time are also majority nurturing types whereas in danganronpa you had a fairly wide variety. (they also make the only remotely chubby woman "motherly", and then give her clothes that literally slim down her actual sprite itself). it also, however, extends to the roles that female characters can actually take in despair time - the men are permitted to be the worst of the worst, to be active monsters within their stories, to commit horrible things against the other characters, and they're generally rewarded for committing those acts. the girls on the other hand are barred off from it - they're defined by self-harm. they harm their own lives, themselves, they hurt themselves. with two exceptions: min and arei, who die one after the other. they're punished for hurting others in ways their male counterparts are not. additionally, min gets absolutely brutalized by an execution equivalent to a SAW trap, limbs broken, cut off, and then eaten alive and whimpering by wolves - and ace gets... sent into cardiac arrest. the women get brutalised and the men get relatively chill deaths. men get to be active and horrible, but if a woman does the same, she is punished with a brutal death. unless she's teruko who is Not Like Other Girls.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Could you talk about the Statute of Secrecy? Or the Ministry’s corruption in General :)

Well, those are two different things. Given that I believe I have an ask floating somewhere in my inbox on the Statute, I suppose we’ll talk about the Ministry of Magic today.

I feel like this is such a broad topic though that I’m not quite sure where to start. I guess I’ll just throw spaghetti at the internet wall and see what sticks.

The Ministry is a Reflection of Society Who Never Admitted They Were the Death Eaters

In the ministry of Harry Potter’s era the Ministry is hopelessly corrupt and filled to the brim with spies (more on this in a later section). Lucius Malfoy, very high up in an unofficial capacity in the Ministry and owner of the Ministry’s mouth piece: The Daily Prophet, was a known Death Eater with a very flimsy excuse.

How is he even able to wield so much influence, you ask? Well, I think it’s not just because of Fudge picking the wrong friends.

I think most the population probably does believe Lucius Malfoy is innocent the way Fudge does. I think it’s a very small subsection, i.e. Dumbledore’s lackies, who go “Nah, ain’t buying it.” I think that, in 1981, when it came time to reveal just how many were Death Eaters and how far this went many people just couldn’t handle it.

Because it was to the point where the nation wasn’t battling Death Eaters, Death Eaters were the nation. Look at the members, these are and were the most influential and prominent families in the country, who combined hold a non-small minority of seats in the Wizengamot. More, these were only the participants, combine those who given anti-muggle and muggleborn sentiment (which I believe are pervasive even among those who claim they fight for the rights of muggles and muggleborns) and you get a nation that is suddenly facing a huge cultural issue that was never previously acknowledged.

We’re talking an entire purge of the Wizengamot, of the Ministry, of the major families and cornerstones of this society. The Black family is completely and utterly destroyed.

People were and remain throughout the 1990′s, desperate to believe it was not as bad as it was or isn’t as bad as it is. If Lucius Malfoy says he was never really a Death Eater then he was never really a Death Eater.

The Ministry is Lousy With Corruption and Spies

What’s hilarious to me is not only is the Ministry incompetent. It is positively flooded with spies. Given the ministry’s overbloated, it’s not even a sizeable minority of employees, but nonetheless every major department has at least one person (if not more) who works for somebody else.

Most work for Tom Riddle. He seems to have intelligence in every department. Through Lucius, who is working pretty much as an unofficial aide to Fudge, he has access to Fudge, complete control of the Daily Prophet, and a voice on the Hogwarts’ board of governors.

Through Rockwood, Tom has direct access to the Department of Mysteries which Lucius is then able to take full advantage of.

Lucius is able to set up an ambush in the Department of Mysteries, getting escaped convicts into the building with the none the wiser, and, had his sole purpose not been a prophecy that only Harry Potter and the Dark Lord can touch, he would have been able to take what he liked. (Though it was always odd to me that the plan was to get Harry Potter to do it, when the better solution would have been to polyjuice Tom Riddle into someone else, set up a tour with the department, and then Tom wanders off conveniently to pick up the prophecy. My theory, I suppose, is that chasing after the prophecy was mostly an exercise in punishing Lucius. And then Lucius fucked up.)

And of course, in book seven, Tom Riddle makes a puppet minister. Point being, to me, it always said a lot that in Book Seven Tom just sort of walks into the building and says, “I’m in charge now” and everyone says “okay”. There was no second Wizarding War, it was a bloodless coup that met zero resistance from anyone but angry school children. 

But that’s Tom’s spies, we also have other spies. Who am I talking about, Dumbledore’s folks of course.

Shacklebolt, Moody, Tonks, and Arthur Weasley are all spies, they just don’t have the introspection to even realize it (which really tells you something about the state of corruption in the ministry). They all work for the ministry, yes, but they in fact pass on information to and serve another master, whose goals do not always align with the government and was a hop skip and a jump away from overthrowing the government at any given moment.

And they don’t even really realize they’re doing this! There doesn’t even seem to be a thought of “I’m doing this for the greater good”, they don’t seem to acknowledge that what they’re doing is very very very bad. Arthur, in fact, is appalled when Percy refuses to do this (well, he’s upset for a lot of reasons, such as that he thinks Percy is spying on Arthur for the minister, but in there is also that Percy refuses to help out with the Order or follow Dumbledore without question). 

Harry paints the Dumbledore’s Army threat that Umbridge saw as something utterly ridiculous, but honestly if I was the ministry I would be worried about this. Dumbledore’s people have infiltrated the ministry just as deeply and badly as the Death Eaters, Dumbledore’s known for recruiting children into his vigilante organization, I don’t know what he’s doing with an army of schoolchildren but I can smell a coup coming.

Anyway, I’m getting off track, point being though that corruption is not only expected and accepted by the ministry, they cannot recognize what it even is. They’re at the point where paying bribes is allocated in their budget.

I Don’t Blame the Ministry For Not Thinking Tom Riddle Was Anti-Jesus

Fudge is designed to get a lot of flack for his outright denial that Voldemort had returned from the dead. He, and other denier characters, are meant to be fools with their heads in the sand who can’t see the obvious.

I ask what about it was obvious?

The only witness to Tom Riddle’s resurrection, Harry Potter, has a known history of erratic behavior.

The previous year, he’d performed illegal magic on his muggle aunt and run away from home. During the previous school year, Harry was revealed to be a parselmouth in a time when the Chamber of Secrets was presumably opened and the mystery was never fully solved (remember, that it was a possessed Ginny never comes to light for more than a few people.) Beyond that, since his first day of school, Harry is routinely in and out of detention, constantly out after curfew, and only seems to not be in serious trouble because he’s openly favored by Dumbledore (who gives him hundreds of points for breaking one of his school rules, during the Philosopher’s Stone fiasco in first year). In 1994, Harry is entered into the Tri-Wizard Tournament under very suspicious circumstances.

We know why all this happens to Harry but from the outside he looks like a delinquent. In fact, he kind of is a delinquent. 

Point being, the only witness is not only Harry Potter (who is already sketch) but it’s Harry Potter holding a dead body of a rival in the tournament.

And he’s claiming that a man who has been nearly fifteen years dead, a man who held the nation in terror and Harry Potter is beloved for destroying, has returned from the grave and conveniently murdered Cedric.

Why is Cedric dead? Well, you see, he and Harry both touched the goblet at the same time because they were going to share the reward. The goblet, a national treasure, was turned into a portkey so that Voldemort could kidnap him.

Why didn’t Voldemort just kidnap him at any other point during the year where he’s guaranteed not to get tag a longs or the wrong kid? Uh... VOLDEMORT IS BACK (for the record, I think it’s because Barty got hung up on the goblet scheme and was determined to ruin his father’s day.)

Where is Voldemort at this very moment? Being evil, somewhere, that is not right here. No, Harry has zero evidence this happened.

Frankly, I wouldn’t believe Harry either.

And when Dumbledore goes about promoting this as sound evidence that Tom Riddle has in fact returned, it starts to get even sketchier. Rather than sounding the alarm, Dumbledore is using this boy’s madness to stir the public into a panic that he, perhaps, plans to take advantage of.

After Dumbledore does that, I would suspect that, even if Harry does give me a memory of the graveyard scene that his head had been tampered with by Dumbledore.

And it’s so convenient that, of all the names Harry picked, it’s Voldemort who killed Cedric. It seems like a ploy to not only deflect the fact that he murdered Cedric but 

Harry’s very upset when some don’t take him at his word but Harry’s also a dumbass and a psychopath. He hates everyone who doesn’t agree with him.

More importantly, necromancy isn’t a thing in the Harry Potter universe. People don’t rise from the dead. Horcruxes exist, but they’re extremely rare, and it seems like no one ever really makes use of them.

So, yeah, not unreasonable that Fudge didn’t immediately go, “My god, Voldemort has risen from the dead! LIGHT THE BEACONS AND SUMMON ROHAN!”

So yeah, it’d take me seeing Voldemort waltzing through the Department Mysteries to go “... Goddammit, this man is more unkillable than Sheev Palpatine.”

After the Epilogue, I am Certain It’s Still the Same Damn Ministry

People hate the epilogue, but in a way, I love it, because it confirms many of my headcanons: these people don’t learn a goddamn thing.

Nothing in their society seems to have changed. Instead of one set of families holding all the power it’s now a new set of families and friends holding all the power. The difference being that they are now all in some way connected to Harry Potter.

Nepotism’s still the name of the game, we still see only human children boarding the Hogwarts Express so you know shit hasn’t changed for the goblins, Draco Malfoy’s alive and well and holds a position in the Ministry that Kingsly graciously allows him to have, it’s just now you have Hermione writing all your laws for you.

The Wizarding World is still the Wizarding World in every single capacity. The only difference is that Voldemort is dead again. Hooray.

Harry and friends simply don’t have the introspection to even realize it.

[idiotic-genius]

Hello!! I was wondering if you have any tips or advice for how to write a good "insanity" arc? A character I have goes through one and I want to do it right, yknow? If not that's ok, thank you if you do do one though :]

TW: Mentions of suicide, talking about mental illnesses and insanity

Thank you for the request, it's such an interesting topic! I found that there isn't that much information on it, but I'm glad to say that I'm pretty confident in what I did find. Anyways, let's get to it ^^

How to write an insanity arc

1. What is an insanity arc?

The first step to writing something is to understand it, so here is a quick definition that explains insanity itself, taken from Oxford Languages: "the state of being seriously mentally ill; madness/extreme foolishness or irrationality". Therefore, an insanity arc means that a character changes throughout the course of the story, descending into madness and irrationality. Sometimes, insanity is equated to certain mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, but personally, I wouldn't define it like that, at least not in fiction, because it could be confusing and also build harmful representation. To sum it up: An insanity arc means that the character slowly spirals into madness until they are mostly unrecognizable.

2. Symptoms of insanity (sorted by possible appearance)

Confusion/irritabbility

Extreme moods

Excessive fear or anxiety

Social withdrawal

Drastical change of eating and sleeping habits

Anger issues

Delusions/Hallucinations

Unability to cope

Suicidal thoughts

Denial

Physical problems

Substance abuse

3. What's the reason?

Insanity can be caused by heavy abuse, trauma, corruption, and also by experiencing mental illnesses that gravely impact the person's daily life (it has been discussed whether or not genetics have an impact as well, like in Alzheimers etc., but theory is yet to be proven). So, with all those overlapping symptoms, you can basically choose any reason for the insanity arc to happen, as long as you make it seem reasonable. Typical examples in fictions are:

Getting kidnapped by villains and corrupted

Turning against the system the character has originally chose to support because of betrayal

"Yandere-Symptom"

Something that could be hard about choosing a reason is the fact that as an author, you're probably trying to make your characters feel complex and realistic to the reader. So, if you haven't chosen why a character has an insanity arc, you should think about what would break them. Sometimes, the process of becoming insane is the arc itself, but, especially when it's not the main character experiencing the arc, sometimes it's about the process of noticing. In that case, maybe the character already went insane, but nobody knows yet and only slowly realizes because of the symptoms mentioned above, which means that the character could have a snap-scenario instead of a "slow burn". What's important is the knowledge of Where does the character start? and Where does the character end up? because the point of an arc is some kind of character development. It really depends on whether your character is going to end up broken and pale-skinned in a prison cell, happy as a psychopathic mafia boss or dead as the new "crazy" villain.

4. Writing from the character's perspective

Even though it could get tricky to only drop hints in the beginning that get more and more, it would probably be real fun to hide those little details and confusing the reader, because in the beginning they won't realize what's going on until they notice that they are the ones going insane with how they see the world, because they only viewed it from the character's eyes. Also, speaking as a reader, there is little greater than re-reading a story and finally noticing all the red flags and small hints, realizing Oh, that's what it means! One big advantage it has to write from the perspective of the character that goes insane is the illusion of clarity, especially when the character has been a reliable narrator so far. If the reader trusts their perspective, they can easily fall victim to believing anything they read without second thought. They might even think that the other characters are going insane! A huge aspect of insanity is a delusional view on the world, causing the symptoms mentioned earlier. The character will keep thinking that they are perfectly fine, or at least they'll be unsuspecting of what's to come. Their overreactions will seem normal, whereas the other characters could be portrayed as unbothered and therefore "weird". Their actions have to seem reasonable in their own mind, even though they do not follow moral codes. For example: An insane character would kill someone for being suspicious and "planning to murder them"- when they were really just trying to to some small talk.

5. Writing from someone else's perspective

If your to-be-insane character is not the main character, you will have to turn the whole thing explained in 4. around. The main character may notice all the symptoms from 2., but the question is: How do they deal with that and how do they react? Just from the symptoms, your character will probably not know what exactly is going on with the other, they might even suspect other mental illnesses, depending on what caused the beginning of the insanity arc. But there's probably going to be a moment of realization at some point. It could be because someone else tells your character "Hey by the way your friend's kinda insane" (unlikely), or, and this is what is more realistic, the insane character does something so out of the ordinary that the main character notices- whether that's an evil speech declaring war to all morals or them showing up by the villain's side fully depends on the story. In that case, the main character will only consciously notice the insanity arc when it has almost fully reached it's end. However, they will probably notice some things before that- like, to keep the example, the insane character being a lot more murderous than before.

6. Things an insane character might be doing (sorted by "heaviness")

Not getting social cues they used to get

Not understanding jokes

Reacting heavily to minor news

Feeling uncomfortable or annoyed around their friends

Binging/Having no appetite at all

Not liking the food they used to

Have depressed phases

Sleeping/being tired all the time or not sleeping at all

Developing insomnia

Getting overwhelmed by things they were fine with before

Getting angry easily and letting it out on other

Develop unhealthy coping mechanisms

Thinking more black-and-white

Ignoring obvious problems / their own mental state

Feeling nauseous, getting a migraine etc. all the time

Being paranoid and untrusting

Ignoring morals / only following their own

Not caring about consequences of illegal actions

Mad at system -> mad at individuals and vice versa

Find relief and happiness in their (sometimes) horrible and weird actions

That's it for this post! I hope this helps, and good luck writing your arcs and stories!

[legobiwan]

Maul, Obi-wan, and Raydonia

I was doing research for an entirely different post and I just...couldn’t leave this scene alone. There’s just too much going on here for me *not* to dip my oar.

So Maul goes to Raydonia and terrorizes the populace in order to send a “message” to Obi-wan at the end of TCW Season 4:

First of all, the panel where Maul says, “face me,” is interesting as Maul is directed away from Obi-wan as Obi-wan looks at Maul’s back, perhaps in facing Maul’s back, he is looking at the past, or, more specifically perhaps not being able to look at his past he cannot face Maul’s holoimage dead-on.

Secondly, this is such an obvious setup. (I know, I know. “Spring the trap.”) But Maul’s hilarious line in Twin Suns really shows us how much he not only knows Obi-wan, but the Jedi at this point (and in Rebels, he contrives this plan because it has worked twice already, on Raydonia and later, Mandalore):

Although this is not the point of this post, you have to laugh. Maul and Obi-wan, to some degree, have been dancing the same tango for over 20 years and the only time there had been a misstep, so to speak, was when Obi-wan left Ahsoka in charge of the second attempt at a Mandalore occupation instead of going himself. But otherwise, geez, no wonder Maul ended up in Obi-wan’s arms at the end of it all, just like a “dip” maneuver at the end of a dance as mentioned above. (They *know* each other’s moves, flit between lead and follow, and if you take this metaphor to its conclusion, then you realize Maul went to Tatooine, sought Obi-wan not because he wanted Luke, but because he wanted closure, knowing what closure would mean in that circumstance.)

But I’m getting off-topic. Maul goads Obi-wan by threatening to burn Raydonia to the ground and Obi-wan, of course, being of “noble heart,” immediately proclaims that he has to go. Alone, of course.

Mace, being the only voice of wisdom in this room, offers a sound strategy:

Obi-wan immediately rejects this perfectly viable option.

This justification is bullshit. Obi-wan is known for being a master tactician and yet he’s refusing Mace’s offer of backup? First of all, between the two of them alone, I’m certain they could have come up with a decent plan. Secondly, Obi-wan had to know that Maul wasn’t going to keep his word. Raydonia was going to burn, regardless of whether Obi-wan came alone or not. 

And, in fact, here is Exhibit A of Raydonia burning:

Even if he isn’t fully aware of this, I posit that Obi-wan rejects Mace’s offer not because he wants to save Raydonia on the premise of a very false promise (if he were truly concerned about Raydonia, he would have taken the task force), but because, as the title of this episode suggests - he wants revenge. 

And I doubt Obi-wan even admits this to himself, using his “noble-heart” to justify going to Raydonia alone to face a massive threat to both the Republic and Jedi in the middle of a war headed by the Sith.

By every logical, tactical measurement, Obi-wan should have taken backup. And he outright refuses it because of a personal vendetta. I have more to say about this in another post, but his actions here seem to be part of this cycle of “fall” and “absolution” that Obi-wan goes through in TCW, each “fall” going lower, each act of contrition more extreme. (And it plays into a theory I have that if the war had continued, if events had been just a little different - Obi-wan would have fallen and Dooku would have eventually gotten his most prized pupil.) It also says a lot that in the mirrored situation during the “Siege of Mandalore” arc, Ahsoka is only able to capture Maul because she brought the backup. Or, more precisely put, because Obi-wan authorized the (illegal) backup of he 501st. 

Mace, however, isn’t swayed by Obi-wan’s pretty terrible argument. (And for pretty damn good reason.)

But here is where it gets truly bizarre.

What the hell, Yoda? I was trying to figure out the thought process that would lead to Yoda authorizing this. Clearly, it’s not stemming from any military advantage or even thought towards the people of Raydonia. They’re already burnt to the ground, both in Maul’s mind and the Council’s mind (despite Obi-wan’s thin rationalizations). 

So then why? If I start with the really wild speculation, I suppose I could say that Yoda had someone form of...Force premonition that Obi-wan going alone to Raydonia would lead to an intervention by Ventress (who Yoda did sense was kicking and ambivalent about her role in the war) which would lead to Ahsoka’s trial and eventual acquittal which would lead to Maul being captured on Mandalore which would lead to the Duel on Malachor which would lead to Luke finding Grogu - 

Yeah, you know what? 

NO way that’s true. Not even Palpatine could see that far into the future so I can BS on that idea.

So why send Kenobi alone?

I think this harkens to what we see later during the “Wrong Jedi” arc.

 If Ahsoka’s trial was her great test, then Maul’s reappearance was Obi-wan’s. Both Mace and Yoda have to know that Obi-wan was teetering on the Dark Side when he beat Maul all those years ago (in fact, the TPM novelization basically states Obi-wan harnesses some Dark Side to beat Maul in his rage.) Mace wants to bring backup, for very practical reasons but also probably keep tabs on an Obi-wan who was at severe risk of becoming unbalanced. 

Yoda, on the other hand, sends Obi-wan alone to face his past, to face his darkness and overcome it (in the middle of a war with the Sith where the balance of power could have shifted significantly if Maul and Dooku and Sidious were able to coexist in the same room without the threat of first-degree murder). 

And here’s the thing. Both Obi-wan and Ahsoka FAIL this test. Ahsoka walks away from the Jedi, Obi-wan gets the snot pounded out of him, taps into his rage (this is not a man in control of himself),

...and then lets a war criminal go free in exchange for her help, all of which set up the disaster that Mandalore becomes in later seasons. In fact, Obi-wan doesn’t pass this supposed test until over 20 years later, on Tatooine. And...is it worth everything that occurred between this episode and “Twin Suns”? Could Yoda have foreseen all of this? Highly unlikely. It’s nice poetry,  but at what cost?

Which leads to another interesting observation - if Yoda feels this is Obi-wan’s test, then both he and Mace feel Obi-wan is more than capable of flirting with the Dark Side. (Yes, all Jedi are, of course, but this seems rather pointed for a man who is considered the pinnacle of Jedi-ness). Again, I have another long post gestating about this topic, but I doubt Mace and Yoda didn’t notice some signs of Obi-wan’s slow fall and attempts at absolution (it’s almost like the habits of an addict - fall, swear off the sauce, and than fall again, even lower) throughout TCW, but between the pressures of the war and trust in Obi-wan, they didn’t see it as a huge threat.

So after Obi-wan leaves for his Revenge Tour, Mace explains, rather diplomatically, that he thinks Yoda’s idea is hot garbage and that his (Maul’s) -

Yes, and Obi-wan at least does learn from this, as stated above...eventually.

Oh, Yoda. This is where I feel the Coucil lost their way. Again, Dooku’s famous quote about Yoda and the Council from the Clone Wars novelization:

"The Jedi Order's problem is Yoda. No being can wield that kind of power for centuries without becoming complacent at best or corrupt at worst. He has no idea that it's overtaken him; he no longer sees all the little cumulative evils that the Republic tolerates and fosters, from slavery to endless wars, and he never asks, 'Why are we not acting to stop this?' Live alongside corruption for too long, and you no longer notice the stench."

It could be argued that Yoda is placing this “test” of Obi-wan above the people of Raydonia, hell, the entire Republic, in priority. Raydonia is collateral damage, and if Obi-wan fails his test, so are many planets in the Republic (which is *exactly* what played out). I suppose, in the very end - again, 20 years later on Tatooine - this was resolved and Luke Skywalker was saved to eventually help redeem his father and destroy Palpatine but...that only really makes sense in hindsight and overlooks the bad decisions the Council and specifically Yoda, are making in real-time. 

And Mace is not convinced here. Too many things could go wrong. Maul could escape. Obi-wan could be killed. Obi-wan could possibly turn, or at least “darken,” so to speak. 

“Trust in the Force,” Mace might say, “but all others pay in credits.”

[thran-duils]

Doll Me Up (P.11, Final)

Title: Doll Me Up (Part Eleven, Final) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Tony Stark. On good days, you and Tony were a power couple. You, a perfect trophy wife with your hands in local charities to promote a wholesome image. Tony, business man but sullied with organized crime. He indulged in his illegal gambling, extortion, and political corruption. And he indulged in his escort business. Hell, that is where he had found you. You were a brat, and he loved a challenge. Words: 1,892 Warnings: Unhealthy relationships, smut, daddy kink, dom/sub, manipulation, death, violence, possessive behavior, drug use

Part Ten ||  Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

~2 weeks later…

“Come now, drink up,” Tony said, gesturing impatiently since he was needing to leave to go to a meeting bright and early, and you picked up the glass warily.

He had made you a smoothie out of hemp, cucumber, avocado, kale, ginger, grapes, and coconut milk. You had watched him adding each ingredient feeling more and more anxious. You just wanted an egg and bacon sandwich.

You grimaced as you swallowed it. You whined, “I don’t like it.”

“Yeah, I don’t either but it’s good for us, kitten,” Tony said, grabbing his own glass and taking a swig. He barely held back a face. “I’ve gotta be tip top shape for you and the baby. And you gotta be tip top shape for baby Stark.”

Scowling, you stared down at your glass, muttering, “I don’t like you calling it that.”

“I don’t like you calling it… it.”

“Well, we don’t know the sex yet, so what do you want me to say?”

“Baby Stark,” Tony quipped, taking another drink. He eyed your glass, nodding, telling you to do the same.

You took another long drink and swallowed it with difficulty. “It sounds too close to that annoying ass song.” Tony cocked his head in confusion, and you said, “I won’t subject you to it. Or myself to it. Again. Once was enough. I’m glad we are past the age – hopefully – that abomination is in vogue.”

“Well, now you’ve got me curious,” Tony said, pulling out his phone.

“Please, don’t,” you begged and then thought quick to threaten, “I won’t finish this if you do.”

Tony pointed at you and said, “That’s not fair. That’s for baby… the baby. This is for me and you can handle it.” Your jaw set and put the glass down, staring defiantly back at him. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, not breaking eye contact. “You hate it that much?”

“Yes.”

Rolling his eyes, he placed his phone back down and picked his glass back up, taking another drink. At his relent, you did the same. Tony finished his and sucked his teeth before rinsing his glass in the sink. You forced yourself to finish as well and placed the glass back down on the counter. Tony grabbed it from you and rinsed yours as well.

He leaned in and gave you a quick kiss, “I’ll listen to it at work.”

“I am telling you, you shouldn’t subject yourself to it,” you replied.

“Digging my own grave then,” Tony joked before giving you another kiss, longer this time. He tapped your nose and said, “Do your laps in the pool, princess. Don’t forget. Doctor said that would help aches and loosening your muscles.” You nodded in response and he smiled, his hand coming to rest on your abdomen for a second before he moved past you to go to the garage and leave.

<><><>

~2.5 months later… (5.5 months along)

Tony had you on your knees on the bed, your fingers spread, digging into the bed, bracing yourself. He ran his hands up your sides as he kept a steady pace. He was being gentler than usual, and you were thankful, loving the intimate contact. His touch was sensual and loving. The further you got along, the more he was relaxing on the rough sex.

The two of you ended up on your sides, Tony holding you close this chest as you came down.

He laid a kiss on your cheek, still panting softly from the exertion considering he had done most of the work.

His hand slid down to your abdomen, caressing your ever growing bump gently.

“Look at how perfect and strong you are, kitten,” he murmured. He turned your head towards him and kissed you slow and deep. “A superhero in your own right, growing life.” You smiled gently at that.

<><><>

~1.5 months later… (7 months)

“She’s been good,” Happy commented, watching Y/N inside from the back patio. She was showing now completely, round, and no hiding her pregnancy. “I can admit, I am surprised.” He looked at Mikhail and said, “Looks like you aren’t a complete idiot.”

“Took you long enough to figure out,” Mikhail responded, taking a long drink, looking at the women gathered inside the room. He smacked his lips and said under his breath to Happy, “Not stoked about being at a baby shower but at least there’s a lot of nice ass to look at.”

Inside the mansion, you took the salad from your friend, who commented, “You should eat something else.”

“We are going to have cake later,” you said waving her off.

“I meant something more nutritious than a green salad, Y/N.”

“Spinach is very healthy,” you retorted.

“There are a lot of finger foods. Tea sandwiches. Meatballs on sticks with veggies. Deviled eggs. Pinwheels?”

You sighed, chewing the bite of salad you had just taken. “A couple deviled eggs wouldn’t be bad. And some veggie sticks with ranch.”

She walked off and you scowled to yourself. Everyone was trying to constantly get you to eat ‘healthy’ for the baby and it was getting worse, the hounding about everything you needed to do. You were tired of it. The constant asking about what you had eaten and when, the reminders to drink water as if you had not been drinking water your entire life, did you exercise…

Cassandra waltzed over, sitting down next to you. You were very thankful she had decided to come and had forgiven you for the scene at her house less than a year ago. She picked a crouton off your salad, drawing a smirk out of you as she winked, before she said, “I’ve been meaning to ask you. Where did you get this dress? It is gorgeous.”

“Tiffany Rose.”

“The blush color looks beautiful on you. And I love you went dramatic with the floor length.”

“Thanks. Would you expect anything less from me?” you asked, jokingly. She shook her head, smiling. You took another bite and swallowed. “Are you looking for a dress for your shower?”

She nodded in return. She was taking a break from porn – hinting she might not go back at all – having gotten pregnant herself. And then asked, her eyebrows wiggling, “Is the blush supposed to be an indicator about the sex?”

“No. I just liked the color.”

“You really don’t know the sex yet? It’s a surprise for everyone?”

“Well, for us. I’m sure Happy and Mikhail know. God knows Tony couldn’t have kept it all to himself. Good luck breaking them though. I’ve been trying to get Happy to slip up about it for a couple weeks.”

Cassandra leaned back and said, “So, he set it all up and then the cake cutting reveal is his secret?” You nodded. “Hmm, he put a lot of work into this.”

“He did,” you confirmed, taking another bite as your other friend returned with a plate of deviled eggs and the vegetables you had agreed to. You held out the half-finished salad bowl and they took it, albeit reluctantly seeing you had not finished. You took the plate and obliged them by eating one of the eggs. “He’s excited.”

You paused and then added, “Excited but he’s ready for rough sex again.”

“I’m sure you are too,” Cassandra joked, nudging you playfully.

“Yeah. I’m tired of just… growing.” You took a bite off one of the carrot sticks. “It’s never ending. And I know I’ve got probably another month and a half of it at least.”

“It’ll all be worth it,” Cassandra reassured you, stealing a celery stick off your plate now and biting into it.

You finished off your carrot, swallowed, and muttered, “I fucking hope so.”

Your hand came to your stomach, rubbing. You were anxious to know what the sex was. When the sex had been able to be detected, Tony insisted you should stay in the dark so he could make it an actual reveal at the baby shower for you. You hated not knowing when he did, but he had been persistent about the idea of it and you had gone with it because he seemed thrilled with the idea. You just wanted to know. You were hoping the party would progress faster so you could end that anxiousness.

When it finally happened, the blue inside the cake settled something in you. At least you knew what that part of your future was going to look like.

<><><>

~2.5 months later…

“What’s this?” Tony asked, seeing another travel bag next to yours.

“It’s for Miles,” you said as if that was obvious. You went back into your closet, grabbing another scarf from your collection. It was going to be cold at Lake Tahoe for the trip.

Tony took the scarf from you and put it in your travel bag. “He doesn’t need a bag. He’s staying here.”

“Wait, what?” you asked, stricken. He was only a month old. Barely.

“Doctors said one month is enough, but a lot recommend three months for trips. So, we are going to play it safe. He’ll stay here and we will go.”

“Tony, I—we can’t leave him!” you tried to argue, your hand falling protectively on his travel bag.

Tony’s eyes flicked to your hands and he gripped them, prying them away to grasp them in his. He stared into your eyes and said, “Sure we can. It’s only three days, Y/N. We will be back before you know it. He is an infant; he’s not going to notice.”

You were going to notice leaving your infant behind.

“I have to breastfeed him,” you tried another argument.

“Pump before we leave. You have back up in the fridge, no? And it keeps for up to four days. And then he can have formula otherwise.”

“I didn’t want to give him formula,” you protested.

“Don’t listen to that shit that says it’s not good. I had formula and I’m a genius by earthly standards,” Tony said, trying to make a joke. “I already got the formula, Wendy knows how to whip it up.”

“But—” you started to protest but Tony interjected.

“Just us, princess. Just us,” Tony said, his thumbs caressing your cheeks as he cradled your face.  “He’ll be fine. He’s in very capable hands with Wendy. You trust her right?” He waited for you to respond and you nodded; you did trust her, wholeheartedly. But that did not mean you did not want to bring your infant on a trip with the two of you. Before you could actually say anything, Tony’s hands fell from your face and gripped at your hips, sliding back to your ass to hold you close. “Let’s enjoy ourselves.” He leaned in, nipping at your ear, “Let me enjoy you. He’s been stealing all your attention as of late.”

You hated that last comment. Throughout your pregnancy and even from the beginning, you had had a nagging feeling Tony was going to get jealous about sharing your affection and attention. And that was just proving it.

“I deserve some attention, don’t I, baby?”

Shoving down argument, you forced a quick smile. “Of course, daddy. All of my attention.”

He smiled sensually, his hands kneading at your ass as he pulled you closer. His eyes were alight with adoration for you. “That’s my perfect princess.”

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21, @undecidedsworld

Fic tags: @kvzctam @farihafangirls, @teenageregression @mrsnegan25 @lilacs-lavender @agustdowney @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @emmariexx

[multiverse-of-souls]

Here’s more headcannons for the castle boys, This time it’s the posted on discord edition, Some relationship stuff, some for the private eye AU (Which is basically a multiverse at this point)

All of the boy obviously consider themselves all in a poly relationship with each other (this is verse dependent of course but generally speaking!!) and while they are all the most close knit with living together, Considering kids, etc. The boys also have other people outside of this close knit group that they are individually close to that the other's of the squad are not and don't want to be outside what could be seen as a friendly acquaintance.

- Killer is super fond of Stardust (Outertale Sans) and they go on dates pretty often in Stardust's world, Considering him and Stardust's brother a second family.

- Axe is very much in love with Sticks (Farmtale sans) after he ended up lost for a couple of months after a battle against the star sanses and landed in Farmtale injured and was carefully attended to until NM eventually found him and visits him often

- Dust has had a blooming crush on Cherry (UF Sans) for a while and just, gets shy cause he has no idea how to talk to him properly??, but he's also tentatively tried a relationship with sticks as well once Axe started bringing him with on some of his visits. Which really isn't surprising since Axe and Dust tend to share

- Mulberry hasn't had much time to acclimate but he's pretty happy about suddenly having what was basically no life to living in a castle, being able to do what he wants and getting a few boyfriends?? like this is great? and he's grown pretty fond of UL Sans (Yarn) since he's helping him to grow more confident.

meanwhile nightmare doesn't really explore for obvious reasons most of the time, he's just vibin' and is happy his boys are happy

----

Nightmare: - Prodigal son of his mother, Was on a fast track to becoming a lawyer for some high profile firm, Rich boy™️, was secretly abused for years by a few of her business partners but he could never talk about it happening or get help because it'd be a heavy hit to his mother's business if they pulled out of working with her and they were to rich to ever face true punishment for their crimes.

- He and dream are heavily estranged because nightmare has some very supreme jealously issues towards him, the fact that dream wasn't as smart so they didn't put the same pressure on him, he didn't suffer the same abuse and got to live the life he wanted and not the life his mother wanted for him while also getting to reap the benefits of being the son of the rich and powerful, people just loved dream. His positive energy and attitude making it easy to make friends while people feared nightmare even as a young one because he was closed off and angry (For good reason)

- Eventually snapped some time after inheriting her business as a youngish adult and his magic corrupted, slowly leaking out of his breaking body, Becoming the corruption that now covers his form entirely which was a very slow process unlike the actual corruption in his OG story, His magic is terminal and one day it will kill him but until that day comes, Staved off only by taking 'negativity' (a cocktail of mostly experimental drugs) and sheer spite, His mother's business is still owned by him but used as mostly a front for all of his deeper illegal activities but he is genuinely trying to make the inner city a better place.

Killer: - Had a pretty average life before he got married to his then partner Chara, a human despite his families protests that they were 'bad news', He was in love, he didn't want to believe them and ended up cut off from most of them as a result as They convinced him that they weren't supportive, that they didn't care about his happiness, that they could do it on their own and slowly over time they grew worse and worse towards him, Leading to actual abuse. It was only after they 'accidentally' poisoned his younger brother with a fatal allergy of his by sneaking it into some of his food and he died as a result that Killer finally had enough and left them

- It doesn't end there though because of course it doesn't, His family wanted nothing to do with him, his brother was dead and divorce leaned so heavily onto Chara's side that he was left with nothing besides the clothes on his back but they weren't done with him yet so they hired a few people to rough him up. Aka, they hired people to torture and possibly kill him so he disappeared and spent a month in the worst agony of his life, physical, mental. Bad enough that his soul essentially rejected itself from his body which is why it now floats outside of his ribcage, the only thing that saved him was nightmare breaking up the unwanted activity in his then small territory and found killer there. Damaged and broken, Nearly dusted.

- Nightmare took him in and had his own personal team of doctors (Including my baby bean vita because i love her) attend to his wounds and try to just keep him alive. Getting this poor skeleton into some therapy once he was awake enough to talk semi-coherently and attended to his ex-partner problem (Haha murder go brrr) and Killer just. never left ?? becoming apart of his crew and inevitably his right hand man. -- Axe: - Used to work as a butcher full time from a pretty early age to support his brother, Still does it part time and is a fantastic cook, but he suffered a break in one night and with it. They beat his head in despite him being a pretty strong and large skeleton at the time. Leaving him with a few issues, He was saved but only at the cost of some pretty strong medicine that replaces his magic (Determination) and that became very expensive. Unable to buy both that and help put his younger sibling through college but without it he'd die.

- It was Nightmare who heard his plight, Arguing with doctors to see if there was anything he could do to get it even a little cheaper, that please, he needed to help his brother. He needed him and Nightmare offered him a proposition when he exited the hospital, He and his business would become his as long as he worked for him so Axe accepted and nightmare helps pay for both Axe's medicine and Axe's brother's college who is none the wiser of the type of person axe is currently working for. Axe actually fell into the job pretty easily, Sometimes he just has to butcher other types of meat that don't get served to anyone :)

Dust: - Mentally ill, Lost his brother due to a sudden car accident that only he survived and it absolutely fucked with him beyond any reason, the sheer amount of guilt because his brother was the good one, he was the golden child. Their parents loved him beyond a doubt and in the end, they ended up with Dust who while smart was terribly antisocial and suffering from anxiety in most situations and that wasn't good enough for their higher end life style.

- He was kicked out as his parents couldn't handle seeing him near them when their favorite son was dead and he couldn't afford the meds he needed so he went further and further off the deep end, Spending a few months locked in a Asylum which really only made things exponentially worse (this is when he started seeing his brother floating around him and 'talking' to him, blaming him for what happened), Obviously he could never hold a job once he got out and occasionally murdered people on the streets as he was homeless and was barely aware of his surroundings.

- Got picked up by Nightmare like dust was a feral animal and after trying to figure out who he was, What he needed, etc and a lot and i mean a lot of therapy. Dust has...mostly adjusted to living inside nightmare's mansion. also i lied, it ended up being longer then i thought

[masterthespianduchovny]

Tony's Wrong About the Accords and I Can Prove How:

One of the main contentions against Steve is that he believes he doesn't need any oversight. This couldn't be furthest from the truth. Steve wasn't going oversight, he was against the type of power these governments would hold once the accords were ratified.

As the popular saying goes, "absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Steve literally was on the run and almost killed as a result of the government changing their agenda. It wasn't because he did anything wrong, but they were infiltrated due to a poor decision and, as a result, millions of people were almost killed.

Steve saw the wider picture when it came to the accords. It doesn't matter how pure something starts out, if someone is given absolute power and no way of checking them (for the US users, its why the American government has a checks and balance system), they will abuse their power. Steve doesn't want it to get to that point. All it takes is one person, one rogue government and the shit all comes tumbling down.

Tony was focused on "we need accountability", but not what accountability means in that specific context.

Say if the government sent the avengers to deal with the flag smashers, would that have been right? Or if they told them not to address Thanos? Would that have been right?

I'm not talking about from a destruction POV, but an ethical one.

What if the government sends the avengers to end wars that the government shouldn't be involved in? Wars that they, the government, started.

The avengers can say, "Well, the government told us to do this."

Is that accountable?

It's not.

Steve wanted a PARTNERSHIP with these countries not to be an attack dog or caged when actual victims needed their help.

I know I'm talking a lot about Steve and not Tony, but I need people to understand Steve's point before I get to why Tony was wrong.

Tony did not think his beliefs through. It started and stopped with "we need accountability." He wasn't trying to hear why signing the agreement was wrong or going along with it. And, as I told someone before, signing an agreement with intention to break it is ridiculous. Do not sign bad deals knowing they're bad deals just to get along. And if someone has the upper hand as a result of you signing the bad deal, it's legally hard for you to get out of UNLESS the contract is illegal. The avengers couldn't get a lawyer or dispute this in court PER THE ACCORDS.

So, with that being said, Steve read the accords and thought through his decision on an ethical level. Tony was reactionary and his decision was purely emotional. He did not read the accords OR he didn't care because it wouldn't effect him.

A prime example of how Tony is reactionary and doesn't think his ideas through where as Steve is thoughtful and logical are their positions on building armor around the world.

The MCU essentially addressed this topics two different times with Steve being proven right BOTH times.

Wanda makes Tony hallucinate the deaths of the avengers, which then leads to Tony building a murder bot without telling anyone. It eventually leads to Tony and Steve having a debate about this. Tony insists that they need armor around the world to protect them and Steve says they don't and they'd handle whatever threat they encounter together.

In AoU, the murder bot does as it name suggests, which backfired on tony's plans for "armor around the world" and, as Cap says, the avengers defeat this thread together.

The second time isn't as obvious, but it still fits. The Earth isn't technologically advanced to make any weapons to stop aliens. Rocket shades Earth's technology and we see how Thano's henchmen deal with Tony and co. as if they're nothing. What weapon(s) could Tony have made to stop THAT (which is why his rant in endgame made me roll my eyes)?

Literally nothing.

How did they stop Thanos and co. a second time?

TOGETHER.

Tony wanted to get upset at Cap because "you weren't there." Well, Tony has his phone number and literally didn't call.

Either way, Tony's plans were shortsighted and fear based. It would've alleviated his fears and solved nothing and protected no one.

Tony signing the accords would've alleviated his guilt and only harmed people including those who weren't avengers and those they were supposed to be protecting.

Tony did not think through his stance and immediately broke the same accords he advocated so hard for and flaunted his utter disregard for the accountability he begged for.

The MCU has constantly shown us that the government isn't to be trusted, yet people trust them to run a tight, ethical ship when it comes to the avengers with Tony as the poster boy?