#poly discourse

[a-polite-melody]

Something that always got me about specifically exclusionary-type queer discourse is how often I would see the people doing the excluding saying things like, “stop treating the community like it’s an exclusive club,” as though that wasn’t exactly what they were doing by trying to gatekeep queerness.

[pinbones]

I've shittalked the people who keep falling for scapegoating exclusionary tumblr unpopularity cycle crap, but it's worth thanking the people who've been on our sides the whole time. For every blogger who posts hate about the target du jour, there's at least one blog with less followers who's been with us from the start and I just think that's awesome. So yeah, shoutout xxx

[begrudgedlovergirl]

the same people that love to talk shit about polyamory and open relationships are the same bitches tuning in to every season of the bachelor and the bachelorette, make it make sense.

[ask-asexual-crystal-gems]

Got my first knee-jerk brainless “uuuggghhh this is polyphobic” rotten take response, that was quick

Internet displaying lack of critical thinking skills or any nuance whatsoever once again …

Lines of thought that seem Normal but are actually rooted in extreme puritanism:

-Seeing the nude human body is inherently traumatic -Sex scenes in art are pointless -Wearing kink-related clothing in public is the similar to performing a sex scene in front of unwilling participants -Depicting female characters expressing sexuality is always degrading -People's sexual fantasies are always an endorsement of the behavior they want to see in real life -Sex work is more traumatic and coercive than other types of work The goal is to treat sex as just another thing people do. That is a much healthier attitude than hiding it! It's not uniquely traumatic, it's not weird to talk about it or include it in society.

[cozmic-ash]

Gordon/Barney/Alyx is really really funny to me conceptually bc it's like, two hot geniuses in their 20s who look at the 40-something smartass who hangs around and go 'yeah that guy. we both want him carnally'

[starryeyeddreamer21]

As a polyvees shipper I am on my knees begging people to not get mad that Velvette is confirmed as a lesbian

Like I will continue to ship polyvees because they are fictional characters and they are my little dollies and I can do whatever I want with them but also canon is canon and that's not going to change so I'm scared for other people's reactions

[postcardsfromheapside]

While I'm out here running my mouth tonight:

I also believe that a significant amount of the attraction to Lucanis is that he presents a "safe" fantasy for a threesome without the player worrying about latent guilt over cheating or 'having to share'.

And wow what a mindfuck that must have been to hear that not only was Lucanis demi, but Spite supposedly isn't interested in your shenanigans.

Anyway.

[rjthirsty]

The amount of people who actively advocate violence against people in non-traditional relationships is staggering.

Insecure, miserable little shit stains.

...yikes. so no one in this group knows how to be faithful? if someone looked at me who i was in love with and said "uhh you're not enough I want this other person too" I think I'd kill myself with 50 guns. But ok

it's a shame two people have never loved you at the same time, otherwise the world would've been free of you by now.

[polyamorousmood]

Funnist part of anon hate is that everyone sending it seems to have assumed I'm a neglected woman. I can only assume it comes from me talking about emotional needs being met and the underlying assumption men have no needs except sex

[98chao]

i guess ill say this on main.. its kind of funny seeing spamvil fans on twitter mourn the ship as if it died bc of spamtenna. bruh i just immediately started shipping all 3 of them together there is no ship war

also i dont understand the logic bc spamton and jevil still canonically have history, and the ketchup kids joke was exclusively abt jevil, not tenna

[halsins-herbal-underpants]

oh isn't it interesting how well this sentiment intersects with bisexual erasure when you're in a relationship. And when I say interesting I mean infuriating, maddening, typical and common of course.

the fun of being a married gnc bisexual polyamorous person and always and forever doubted you actually are any of what you fucking say you are.

Gods the poly erasure I just saw is baffling

Someone saying they wanna romance Halsin but don’t jive with polyamory so they won’t (valid, respect that, very same reason me as a person irl could never date Halsin no matter how much I love him, I can’t do open polyamory)

But then all the comments were “you can still date him monogamously!!!! There’s an epilogue that suggests he’s being serious and monogamous with Tav!!! You don’t have to date multiple people!!!”

Just because Halsin and Tav are not seeing anyone other than each other does not change the agreement.

It’s doesn’t change Halsin’s nature when it comes to relationships and partners.

Romancing Halsin is an agreement to be in an open polyamorous relationship. It does not matter if Tav never finds someone else they love at the same time. It does not matter if Halsin never finds someone else he loves at the same time.

Halsin is forever and always poly, and he never settles into being monogamous for Tav. He will not change his nature for you, nor does he want you to change your nature for him.

There is no “monogamous path” with Halsin.

[oy--with-the-poodles-already]

”mspec lesbians and lesboys DNI” BOOOOO!! 🍅 BOOOO!!!! 🍅 🍅 🍅

[princetore]

i need to speak my truth im sorry i know thats been the status quo for a while but what world are we living in that confirming a characters sexualities through merch is considered a major win for representation. remember way back when dumbledore was "confirmed" gay only by word of god and ppl were (rightfully) mad because the author stating something to be true in the story without actually including it in the text is a shallow display and effectively worthless in representing anything. do you remember death of the author. you guys used to love death of the author

[burningsushii]

purelily this shadowvanilla that

what if shadowpurelily ?

[northernrain]

You know what got me so fucking excited? I had both Halsin and Astarion in my party and when I kissed Halsin, Astarion said this:

It's one line. One. One line to acknowledge my ongoing poly triangle, and pretty much the only line I ever got about that aside from the first "let's smooch if your bf is okay with it? uwu" and "it's fine" that establish it in the first place.

And I was so ecstatic to even get that. That's how fucking starved I am for any kind of healthy poly representation in media.

It's like seeing a gay character on tv for the first time all over again. The representation might not be very well done, it got problems, it's barely there, but at least it's there? Right? It's technically there? Even if you might miss it if you glanced away at the wrong moment.

Yeah, it's not enough.

I don't blame people for having a negative gut reaction to the entire idea if that's how they were raised, growing up. For a lot of us, there was ever only pretty much one right kind of "love" and "relationship", and to learn out of that thinking requires the same kind of work it takes to unlearn homophobic or transphobic assumptions. It's hard. It takes time. And at least for the western world, it's not yet demanded in the same way as LBTQ+ rights are. But... hopefully it will be, at some point.

Because love isn't some kind of a finite resource like a loaf of bread or some very nice fabric. You don't run out of it by loving more people. You don't go, "Ah, sorry. My heart's full. I just can't care about you." You can think that, you can say that, but will it actually mean you won't care about someone if you genuinely enjoy their company and wish them well? Or do you actually... care? Despite not really wanting to, or feeling like you have the emotional capacity to?

Of course falling in love is a really intense thing to happen, and I'm not sure if one human being can handle multiple simultaneous falls at the same time. But there are so many ways to fall in love, and so many kinds of love.

In my experience, the fireworks-y, obsessive, all-encompassing, draining kind of fairytale love is on the rarer side, and for a good reason: it's insane. It takes all of you and leaves you wrecked. It's not sustainable. There's a reason why we talk of falling and crushes, because, hell, what else could describe that devastation so well? It is crushing. And eventually, something's got to give, and that insane fairytale romance either mellows out to something more stable, or it withers out.

And I'd argue that every single human (with emotions) can handle more than one deeper connection to another human being. And... it truly is as simple as that. Sex or no sex, it all gets down to caring about each other.

I am very rambly, sorry. And the people who most need to hear this shit aren't probably seeing this in the first place. But I just. There's not many people to talk to about being poly, is there?

Ok little rant here because I keep seeing this kind of comments pop up.

Let’s talk Halsin and polyamory.

Because apparently making ace characters allo and gay characters straight is a crime against god, but nobody seems to care when poly identities are erased. I hate starting drama but it's honestly heartbreaking seeing how many people are happy to disregard Halsin’s polyamory entirely.

Does Halsin need better writing? Yes, he’s been done dirty by a rush job and Larian leaning a bit too heavily on the horny. But I think it's very telling that what some of you consider bad writing is the fact that you can't have a monogamous relationship with him.

I see people very hung up on this line:

Like this is some proof that Halsin secretly longs for monogamy but he’s too traumatized to admit it. Which is. Very insulting. He’s traumatized. He’s poly. The two things need not be related. If the only way you can conceive Halsin being poly is out of trauma, I don’t think I need to tell you just how yikes that sounds.

I’m personally not a big fan of this line. I always found it a little fetishy, like the game is giving you the go ahead to build a harem. But I’d also like to point out that the line doesn’t preclude the possibility he doesn’t want other partners right this moment, but might in the future.

People seem to conveniently forget the other instances where Halsin states his position on polyamory.

But all of this keeps getting brushed off in favour of that one line, because for some of you it’s inconceivable that a person would be capable of romantic attraction towards multiple partners. Like love from a polyamorous person is somehow lacking, weaker, less meaningful, inferior.

And it’s not just him, I’ve seen people pull this shit with Astarion and Shadowheart too, claiming that they’re lying when they say they’re ok with Halsin joining your bed. “He’s insecure!” “She’s lonely!” “They’re scared of being abandoned!” The implication here being that polyamorous people are broken, because nobody in their right mind would be ok having multiple partners, right?

Polyamory rarely if ever gets any decent representation, but god forbid you don’t take away the only scrap we get just because it makes you uncomfy.

[54625]

Morning crew discourse in fandom is so fucking funny .

"Morning crew are a family!! Fathers and their son!" (They constantly make dirty jokes towards each other/ make sexual innuendos about eachother, are generally very inappropriate and weird about eachother)

"Morning crew are a relationship! They're all in love!" (They have called each other family on countless occasions, Fit called himself an older cousin/uncle figure towards Tubbo, says Tubbo reminds him of Ramón and acted like he was a stand-in Ramón while he was missing, Ramón calls Tubbo his brother)

remind me to introduce yall to this crazy concept called a friendship