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demigodreading · 3 years

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Saving Mini Benson Pt:1

Request: From @youngjusticeimaginesus: Hi, I was wondering If maybe you'd be willing to do a oneshot where Olivia's daughter gets kidnapped by Lewis instead of Olivia?

Summary: That’s right my favorite peoples... This is going to be a two part mini series because there was no way everything that I needed to say could be done in a one-shot! I won’t go into much because I don’t want to give it away but please note THIS PART IS A DOOZY! The next one may be worse but still this arc made me cry in the show and I cried writing this

Characters: Olivia Benson, Fin Tutuola, Amanda Rollins, Nick Amaro, William Lewis, Donald Cragen, Reader

Relationships: Olivia Benson x Daughter! Reader

Warnings: MAJOR Violence, Guns, Cigarette Burns, Episode Spoilers, Alcohol, Smoking Weed, Mentions of Shootings, Death, William Lewis, Mentions of torture... (I Think that covers it but if it doesn’t please let me know)

Word Count: 2320 (Like I said.. there was no way this was gonna be just a oneshot.)

And with that all being said: Let’s jump into it.

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Olivia and her daughter rarely fought but when they did neither one wanted to admit the other one was right. Olivia loved and hated her daughter for being so similar to her. Even now as she watched the miniature version of herself stalk the interview room the exact same way she would send her heart racing. Usually the similarities would result in a smile but not today. Today Olivia’s vision was a deep red as she confronted her daughter.

“Y/N you were caught smoking weed underneath the bleachers during class! So not only did you break one rule you broke two!” Olivia shouted, folding her arms.

“Wow glad that you know how to count,” Y/N mumbled looking out the window.

“What did you just say to me?”

“Look mom I just don’t get what the big deal is? It was one joint. One class!” Y/N retorted, throwing her hands up, “I am a straight A student who has a full ride scholarship to Harvard.”

“Yes, because Barba stuck his neck out on the line for you and put in a glowing recommendation,” Olivia spat, “What you did was careless. You could have ruined everything that was given to you.”

“You know for once in your life could you ever be fucking proud of me! I do everything that I can do to make you proud and yet at the end of the day I am never fucking good enough for you.”

“That’s not…” Olivia went to argue but was interrupted by Cragen opening the door.

“Olivia we got a problem. I need you right now,” He said, then shut the door without waiting for an answer.

“Just go save another poor unfortunate soul mom. Don’t worry about your daughter. I’ll pick up my own pieces like I always do,” Y/N said, wiping tears from her face as she grabbed her coat.

Y/N stormed from the room before Olivia could stop her. She made her way through the precinct eyes trained to the floor as her mother’s voice rang out, “You better head straight home Y/N! We are not done having this conversation and you are grounded!”

Choosing not to say anything, Y/N merely raised her hand in the air flipping her mother off before the doors shut with a loud slam behind her. Tears made dark spots on the concrete as Y/N made her way back to their apartment. Even the noises of the constant car honks and people screaming couldn’t drown out the voices in her head today. Failure. Waste of space. Stupid. No one. Unwanted. Unloved.

It was the repeated song that kept her feet moving forward until she finally placed her key in the lock. She threw her bag by the kitchen island and threw her keys on the counter. She was about to turn on the living room light when a noise caught her attention.

“Hello? Hello?”

As she turned the corner her vision was filled with the sight of a gun pointed right at her temple. A smirk crossed William Lewis’ face as he looked at Y/N, “Ah welcome home Little Benson. I was hoping that it would be your mother who was walking through the door but I guess you will have to do.”

Y/N went to scream but instead Lewis jammed the gun against her throat, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. One small slip of my finger and your mom will be left with a new kind of art all over her walls.”

Y/N let a single tear roll down her face before Lewis’ gun made contact with her skull and the whole world went black.

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Olivia had already tried to call Y/N twice but it kept going straight to voicemail. The last known location had been their apartment so at least she had the sense to head straight home. The guilt in Olivia’s stomach was insurmountable. Watching her daughter explain that she never felt like she lived up to her standards. Olivia had promised herself when she had Y/N she would never end up like her mother. Yet there she was shaming her child for one mistake. Y/N was more than just a good kid, she was excellent. She was smart, beautiful, humorous, kind, and so much more. She was everything Olivia could have ever hoped for. Knowing that her daughter thought she wasn’t proud was the worst pain she could have.

After the third call Olivia finally decided to leave a voicemail, “Y/N I know you are mad but I need you to know something. I am proud of you and will always be proud of you. You are the best daughter and the most amazing human. I was rough on you early. Please let’s talk through this. I’ll be home soon with your favorite Chinese. Just don’t do anything stupid? I love you.”

When she hung up the phone she placed her head in her hands and let out a large sigh. Fin placed a reassuring hand on her back, “Liv, it is going to be okay. She is just being a teenager.”

“No Fin, you should have seen her. It was like I was physically taking her heart out and ripping it in front of her. I should have never said those things. I didn’t mean any of them… I was just upset.”

“She knows, they always know.”

Olivia merely shook her head and began to gather her things to head home. She walked out of the precinct without a goodbye and headed down the street to Y/N’s favorite Chinese place. They knew what she was going to order as soon as she walked in the door asking where Y/N was. Liv pushed off their question and scrolled through her phone as she waited for the food. Y/N’s phone was still off giving Olivia an eerie feeling as she finished the walk to the apartment.

Once inside she noticed Y/N’s bag on the floor and her keys on the counter. There was a sudden rush of cold air that made her notice the window that was open to the fire escape. She shut it quickly and then moved to Y/N’s room. The door was still open with everything the way she had left it that morning. Once her calls were unanswered Olivia opened the window again crawling onto the fire escape. Sometimes Y/N would go to the roof to watch the sun slowly crawl behind the buildings.When she reached the top however she was met with an unsettling emptiness.

Olivia reached for her phone to call the only person who was able to calm her anxiety lately, “Amaro, Y/N isn’t here. I can’t find her. What if something happened to her?”

“She probably just went to a friend’s house to get away,” Amaro replied stirring the contents of his drink, “She will be back in the morning just to relax. Sleep off the anger and come back with a clear head tomorrow.”

Liv pondered this suggestion over and over deciding what she should do. When the silence became too long Amaro interjected again, “Liv, I’m serious. You two had the biggest blow out that I have seen in awhile. Give her time to be mad at you and think. If you smother her she might only push further away from you.” She thanked her partner for the advice and then shoved her phone back in her pocket taking a sweep of the roof once again. Finally she slowly made her way back to the apartment shutting the window with a slam before locking it. Olivia wandered over to the kitchen moving the cereal that covered the top of the fridge to get to her secret cupboard. From the opening she pulled a large bottle of her favorite red wine. She popped the cork and decided to forgo a cup taking a long swig directly from the green glass. A large sigh escaped her lips as she plopped down on the couch going over the events of the day in her head.

As the contents of the bottle slowly drained till there was nothing else Olivia realized her fears were all coming true. She was becoming her mother. A woman she never once wanted to be. Three empty bottles later she finally curled under Y/N’s sheets crying into her pillow until she finally was able to fall asleep.

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The next morning when Y/N did not return and her phone was still shut down all bets were off. Olivia was furious but more importantly she was terrified. Something was horribly wrong. Her morning was spent talking to Y/N’s two best friends and searching their houses for her. When that search was unsuccessful Olivia went to the school hoping Y/N had gone there. However, she had been absent all day and there hadn’t even been a call to excuse her from the day.

When the morning bled into the afternoon Olivia was running around the city to all of Y/N’s usual hangout spots. The search of the library told her that Y/N hadn’t been there in over a week. The local bakery hadn’t seen her in three days. The coffee shop where Y/N always bought Olivia’s coffee when she came to see her at work had seen her two mornings ago but nothing since then. Even the old lady that had Y/N over twice a week to help her with errands and chores around the house hadn’t seen her.

It was dark by the time that Olivia fell into her desk chair at the precinct. With her head in her hands she let the tears fall. A whole day was gone and there was still no sign of her daughter. If she had been kidnapped they were running out of time and losing it quickly. The longer she was out there the longer the person had to get away with whatever they wanted.

The squad huddled around in Cragen’s office looking at Olivia curled over her desk. Rollins was the first one to speak, “I bet you Lewis has something to do with this.”

“And what makes you think that?” Amaro asked, “There are plenty of people who could have a vendetta against Liv.”

“It’s just a feeling.”

“Yeah well have you ever considered the idea that maybe Y/N just ran away,” Amaro retorted.

Fin, Cragen, and Amanda all turned towards Amaro, shocked. Cragen was the first one to speak, “I know you haven’t been here long Amaro but this isn’t Y/N. Something is horribly wrong and we are going to figure out what is going on. Fin and Amanda go check out Lewis’ usual hiding spots. I’ll take Liv through her apartment once again to see if we missed anything.”

“And me cap?”

“Amaro… you stay here and set up a tip line,” Cragen responded curtly and then they all disappeared to find where Y/N had disappeared to.

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Y/N woke with a jolt as she felt cold water splash her face. She was met with Lewis staring only a couple inches away from her face. He grinned and grabbed Y/N’s chin as she tried to look away, “Well well there. Looks like someone is finally awake. Feeling thirsty?”

Y/N nodded her head yes waiting to scream as he curled his fingers around the edge of the duct tape. As he was about to pull it away he jammed a gun against Y/N’s throat, “Make any noise and I will shove this gun straight down your throat.”

Finally when he pulled the tape away Y/N spit right in his face, “Just shoot me already if you are going to threaten me with it.”

“And miss out on all of our fun Mini Benson. I think not. There is plenty that I want to do to you before then.”

Y/N began to panic as Lewis lit another cigarette. She remembered the way the others had burned against her chest and sides. She had lost count after twenty perfect circle burns and after the second pistol whip to the face she had passed out a second time, She couldn’t go through all of that again.

“My mom knows I am missing and she will be out looking for me. Just let me go and she will never have to know that you did it. Please,” YN begged.

“What is she going to think about that bruise on your face? Or the marks on your skin? I can’t let you go… plus I know that you both fought before you came home. I bet you that she thinks you just ran away and are leaving her,” Lewis chuckled.

“How.. how did you know that we fought?

“This lovely voicemail your mother left you,” Lewis said, placing your phone against your ear.

Tears began to run down Y/N’s face as she heard the apology her mother had sent her. Damnit! Why did I have to fight with her? We could have avoided all of this. Is the mantra that ran through her head as Lewis slammed the phone against her head and threw it at the wall.

“She isn’t coming for you,” Lewis snickered.

“Please… just let me go. I will do anything.”

Lewis pulled his gun and placed it against Y/N’s scalp, “You are still bargaining with me? Really. We are way past that baby.”

“I am the daughter of an NYPD detective. A decorated well known detective. My mother, her partner, her squad, the entire department will hunt you down. You think that you’ve put people through hell. It will rain back down on you.”

“You know what… let it rain,” Lewis said and then hit Y/N once again making her world go black for a third time.

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zafirosreverie · 3 years

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You hissed in pain and frustration when you fell on your paws. You hated when this happened.

To many people, being a shapeshifter might sound cool and spectacular, but it wasn't when you couldn't control your transformations, or when the only thing you could transform into was a kitten.

You hadn't really paid attention to your surroundings when you got on the roof, you just needed to be alone. You should have paid attention to where you put your foot, tho. Before you knew it, you had fallen over the edge. It was not a very tall building, but surely it would have done more damage if your kitten had not decided to appear at that moment.

Unfortunately, you could feel that one of your paws had been injured from the impact, causing you to limp. Dammit. And it wasn't even like someone was looking for you. Living alone had its downsides.

_________

Three days. You had spent three days on the streets, trapped in your kitty form, and you had already learned to respect stray animals and to hate humans a little more. In this time, you had barely managed to eat anything, you had almost been run over twice and some brats had thrown stones at you.

"Damn humans who don't know how to educate their damned devils" you thought.

Just when you walked to the sidewalk, you saw a bike heading straight to you. You puffed up and closed your eyes, waiting for the impact.

But I never came.

Instead, you heard someone gasp and felt a hand gently caress you. You opened your eyes and looked up. A woman with wild hair and the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen was looking at you with concern.

"Are you okay little friend?" she asked, gently taking you in her arms "where did you come from?"

The woman looked around, trying to see if anyone seemed concerned about a cat, but no one was around. Looking closely, she realized that you didn't even have a nameplate.

"Looks like you're lonely huh?" she smiled at her, scratching you behind her ears. The sensation made you purr and lick her hand. She laughed "Well, it looks like you're fine" she said, lowering you to the ground.

You immediately missed the warmth, so you tried to get close to her again, only to hiss when you felt the pain in your paw, which had worsened in recent days.

The woman looked at you, feeling her concern returning. You looked so small and helpless, she just couldn't leave you there while you were hurt. She sighed, before taking you back and carefully placing you in the basket of her bike.

"Okay little rascal, I'll take you home and you can rest for a few days, okay?" she said. She swore that the kitten nodded as if it understood her.

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"Shadow?" Olivia jumped when a small ball of hair appeared in front of her computer screen. She laughed before taking the cat and putting it on her lap "I thought we made it clear that you couldn't come in here."

You meowed, as if challenging her and snuggled into her legs. It had been almost a month since Olivia, or Liv, as some called her, had brought you to her house. The first few days, she had not separated from you, taking care of each of your wounds and making sure you ate well.

It took you only a few days to catch up with your surroundings. Olivia was apparently the chief scientist at one of the nation's top science companies. She had a small lab at home, next to her studio, but it was no match for the one at her work.

Liv had taken you to Alchemax a couple of times, first when you were still hurt and she wanted to make sure you were okay, then simply because she liked your company.

The doctor would not tell anyone, but she sometimes felt quite lonely, she being the first to arrive at the laboratory and often the last to leave. That was why she was so grateful for the hairball that had entered into her life.

In your human form, you were of average height, neither tall nor short, but in your kitten form, you were just a small ball of fur. You fit perfectly in Liv's robe pocket, where you often hung out while she worked.

You liked watching her do it. Her nose wrinkled slightly when she concentrated, and her eyes sparkled when something went according to her plans. Sometimes when she was especially excited about the result, she would hug you and kiss your head.

But that didn't mean you would let her starve, no matter how cute she looked while she worked. That is precisely why you had come up to the table, to interrupt her.

"Be a good fur ball" she said, lowering you to the ground.

You grunted and carefully bit into her pants, pulling it with all your might, which only made her laugh again. But you weren't going to give up, so you kept pulling.

"Okay, okay" Liv sighed "I think you're right. Enough work for today" she said, bending down to grab you and leave her studio.

You smiled internally when she took you to her room to change clothes. Out of politeness, you hid your face in bed, making Olivia smile fondly. When she finished, she took you on her arms again and went to the living room.

The doctor loved to snuggle with you on the couch, just enjoying the feel of your fur. You snuggled into her chest, as you always did, and in less than an hour, you were both peacefully asleep.

But fate loved to be a bitch with you.

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You woke up the next day, when the sunlight caught your eyes. You yawned and stretched slowly, paying no attention to the fact that you had arms and legs, rather than paws and a tail. You smiled when you saw Liv still asleep and hugged her again before going back to sleep.

Olivia woke up, feeling an extra weight on top of her that was definitely not there the day before. Opening her eyes slowly, she saw a head on her chest. She gasped as she realized that a girl was hugging her.

You woke up again with a scream, before being thrown to the ground harshly.

"Who are you?" demanded a voice above you and you turned to see Olivia glaring at you.

You blinked in confusion before realizing that your claws were gone. Well shit. This was going to be difficult to explain. You stood up slowly, making the woman blush

"I'm Y/N" you introduced yourself "And I know it will sound strange, but -... Hey, are you even listening to me?" you asked when you realized Liv was looking you up and down.

Following her gaze, you realized the problem. You had forgotten that clothes did not travel with you when you changed shapes, so you were completely naked in the living room of a woman who did not know that you were the kitten that she had been taking care of her. Poor thing, what has she done to deserve to meet you?

"You have two seconds to get out of my house" she said when she recovered.

"Liv-"

"How do you know my name?" she asked

You sighed "I've lived with you for a month" you said

"What?"

"I am Shadow"

Olivia took a step back, panting. Who the hell did this woman think she was? Entering her house, sleeping with her, standing naked in her living room, and saying it was her adored furball ?! No, she wasn't having it.

"Get out of here before-"

"Your name is Olivia Octavius, Alchemax chief scientist. You don't like coffee without sugar but you drink it because it is the only thing available when you spend nights working in the laboratory. Your subordinates respect you because you are serious and direct with them, also because of Doc Ock, but you really like rom-coms, chocolate cake and cuddles. A few weeks ago you found a black kitten on the street, it was injured and you brought it here, you took care of it and named it Shadow. " You said as quickly as possible.

Olivia looked at you in surprise. All those things ... The only way you could knew was-

"You’re Shadow" she murmured. You simply nodded "But how-"

"Shapeshifter" you said simply.

The woman looked at you carefully. There was something about the way you stood, the way your eyes looked at her and the way your head was slightly tilted. You were as cute as the cat she had cared for.

"I think ... We have a lot to talk about" she said

#x reader #reader insert #imagine #olivia octavius imagine #olivia octavius x reader #olivia octavius #doc ock imagine #doc ock x reader #doc ock #request

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nooneelsecomesclose17 · 3 years

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Who says I want to go back

This contains spoilers for Friday's ep of Emmerdale, because it enraged me so much I had to write a fix-it. So have a Robert's the one helping with Liv fic. I've borrowed relevant bits of dialogue from the ep (watching that twice was not pleasant btw)

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"Well I need something to forget that I'm here with you. When you're in my face Aaron, I hate you." He can tell himself that she's just mouthing off, that she doesn't mean it but it still hurts, has every time she's said it.

"Yeah I know Liv, you keep telling me. What am I supposed to do, I'm terrified. I can't stop you hurting yourself."

"Please. I'm not in danger. You're just a control freak that can't stand me having fun." He can see Robert, standing just inside the door, trying not to intervene because just lately that makes everything worse, but he knows he's there, that's what's important. He should be on his way to see Seb, he's already late and he nods, tells him to go, he can manage.

"That's not true."

"You want everyone to be as miserable as you, don't ya. Oh poor Aaron. You wouldn't want to be happy if you knew how to. You just want to drag us down cos of what you've been through." He just shakes his head. Is it true, is she right, does he do that? Robert's always teasing him for being grumpy, but is it more than that, does he drag him down too. "What, no shouty comeback?"

"If that's what you think then there's nothing I can say is there." He doesn't wait for an answer, just grabs his coat and leaves. There's no point even trying to talk to her when she's like that.

He heads to the yard, maybe an hour or so of bashing the hell out of metal will help calm him down. He should've gone with Robert like he suggested, but he hadn't wanted to leave Liv alone all that time.

It doesn't work like it always had in the past, and Robert's not answering, even after enough time has passed for him not to be driving.

"You alright kiddo?" He throws the crowbar down as Cain approaches.

"What's she done now?"

"Who? Your demon of a sister? Nowt, but your Mum said you'd had words."

"Something like that." He collapses down on the steps, throwing his gloves on the ground.

"You alright? She said Sugden was off to Liverpool."

"Yeah, to see Seb. Not like we can have him at ours right now is it?"

"You know, it's not a failure to say you can't cope."

"There's no one else is there? Sandra's worse than useless and she doesn't have anyone else. I'll sort it Cain. You'd never leave Mum to fend for herself would ya?"

"I might if she didn't want my help. I'm just saying...it's alright to fail." He nods, because he can't. He's failed her once already, he left her behind. He won't do it again, no matter how hard she pushes him.

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She's not about when he gets home and after making himself a cuppa he tries Robert again, just wants to hear his voice.

"Robert, this is really not a good day for you to do that ignoring calls thing. Just, call me back, please. I need you."

"God that was pathetic. No wonder he's not answering. Maybe he's finally seen the light. He's gone off to Liverpool for a couple of days, who knows what he's getting up to there."

"Why would he Liv?" Her words don't even hurt anymore, he knows Robert better than that, trusts him properly now.

"Wouldn't be the first time with her would it? All he's got here is you leaving whiny messages on his phone."

"You don't have to pick a fight just to cover what you're really after. It's right there."

"Aw what's up, don't want to tell me what to do anymore cos hubby's off with the ex?"

"Enough! Do you know why he's gone there huh? It's cos we daren't have Seb here with you like this. Just go Liv, get out of my sight."

"You just can't face up to the truth can you? He's up there with her and you're here, alone. Face it Aaron, you're the fool."

"Oi! What the hell is going on?" Both of them turn round at the sound of Robert's voice. Aaron smiles when he sees he's got Seb in his arms, immediately reaching out for the little boy who he's sure has grown since the last time he saw him.

"Liv was just telling me what she thought you were getting up to in Liverpool." He can see when Robert realises what he means, and he takes Seb into the kitchen away from the pair of them. "Hey mate, it's alright, we're not mad at you. How about a biccy eh?"

"Oh was she. Why don't you enlighten me?" He sets Seb at the table with a colouring book they keep handy before watching the two of them.

"Well it wouldn't be the first time would it?"

"I think you're winning in the repeating mistakes game right now don't you? So what brought on this latest round of making everyone hate you? Run out of vodka?"

"Of course you're taking his side!"

"You've all but accused me of cheating so why would I take yours? How long are we doing this for Liv, because I'm tired. Aren't you?"

"Get off my back Robert!"

"Fine. Just get out."

"You can't throw me out. It's my house!"

"So you keep saying, except that's not actually true is it? It's half Aaron's and mine too." He stands his ground and Aaron stops himself from getting her to stay. He doesn't have the energy, just wants Robert and Seb, and some peace. Liv stares at him for minute before she grabs her bag and storms out.

"You know she's just going to drink all that at the pavilion don't you?"

"Yeah, probably. I'll go after her in a bit, when you tell me why I have thirty missed calls?"

"I should go. I'm her brother."

"Yeah well you married me. What's yours is mine and all that crap. I think you've taken enough off her for today don't you?" He runs a hand through Seb's hair before hugging Aaron, holding on until he relaxes properly. "Go on, what did she say?"

"Do I control people? Make them miserable?"

"What, no! Did she actually say that?" Aaron nods. "That's ridiculous."

"You're always saying I'm grumpy."

"Yeah cos you are, and I love you anyway don't I? You never make me miserable though, or anyone else. The only one doing that round here is Liv. I know she's suffering Aaron, but this can't go on."

"I don't know what to do anymore. She won't listen."

"Then we ask for help. As much as I love your Gran, her idea isn't going to work and your Mum's idea...well the less said the better. When I've found her, we're going to see Liam, or Manpreet."

"But..."

"No. We need proper advice Aaron. They'll know who to talk to, or how to talk to her. She doesn't have to know, not yet, but I'm not having you upset like this."

"Ok." He sniffs, pulling back from Robert's arms, feeling cold as soon as he does. "How come he's here?"

"When I got to Rebecca's I saw all your calls and guessed something had gone on so I asked if we could change the weekend to here. She didn't mind, her and Ross have some concert thing they want to go to anyway. Besides he missed ya. I don't do cuddles as well as Daddy Aaron apparently."

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"So this is where you're hiding." He sits down on the steps beside her. The bottles beside her are still mostly full so hopefully he can actually get through to her. "Make you feel good does it, hurting Aaron?"

"Does actually."

"Funny...I used to think I could manage all on my own, didn't need anyone else. Without the gallons of vodka obviously, but yeah, I pushed everyone away, said all the right things to make it happen even though inside I was begging someone to stay, to see how much I was hurting, how much I needed them."

"I don't need anyone."

"Except you do, if only to pay the bills so you can afford that." He points to the bottles. "So why don't you talk to me because if I come home again and find you've spoken to Aaron the way you have today you might just find yourself truly alone. Trust me, you don't want that to happen."

"Aaron would never do that."

"Maybe, maybe not. Everyone has their breaking point and I truly don't think he's far from his. So go ahead, if you want to lose your brother forever then I'll give you some tips from when Andy and I hated each other. Or," He picked up one of the bottles, unscrewing the cap and pouring it onto the grass. "You can come home with me now, apologise, and then tomorrow, we'll go to Manpreet or Liam and get some advice."

"And if I don't?"

"I reckon it'll take about an hour to pack the car and then Aaron and I would be gone."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me. I love you Liv, you know I think of you as my sister, but Aaron is my number one priority, him and Seb and I'm not having him putting up with your verbal abuse any longer." He gets up, brushing off the back of his jeans. "I'll leave you to think about it. We'll be at home."

The walk back to Mill calms him down, ready to tell Aaron what he'd said. Liv was likely right, he doesn't think Aaron would ever abandon her, anymore than Robert would Vic, but something had to happen, had to change.

"Do you think it'll work?" Aaron asks him as they watch Seb playing in the garden a while later. There's been no sign of Liv but Robert could only hope she'd listened.

"I don't know, but if it does, then it's a start."

#robron fic #emmerdale spoilers #early ed lb #ok so I don't know if his tactics are good or not #but i figure it's soapy enough #but aaron will always come first for robert #and he wouldn't do a ben of just being on her side against aaron or whatever that is #so anyway it didn't actually go as i thought #but i hope it fixes something

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sugdenlovesdingle · 3 years

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I feel like I would be more excited for Pride if this was happening in 2018/2019 when there LGBT content was pretty decent, Robron/Vanity/Liv/Matty it could of been something special but with how poor it has been in the last year or so with awful stories, plus no m|m or w|w couples it just feels like another disappointment I wont write it off yet its happening the end of June so they might pull something special.

right? I mean sure they have some LGBT+ characters (and a plot device that makes rebecca seem like a well rounded fleshed out character) but as far as couples go? Liv/Vinny - but their relationship has barely been about them and mostly about the paul bullshit. and Matty/Amy - cute but never on screen and him being trans barely gets a mention. And never really in relation to them dating. I’ve ranted about that before but even with covid restrictions they could have done so much more with them when they first got together/started to *like* each other.

I mean we have Aaron the Resident Gay... out and proud... but he’s single (until his husband comes home - HINT Hawley) so there’s not much of a story there... and emmerdale are cowards so i don’t think they’ll give us Aaron/Mack. No matter how much chemistry they have.

Then there’s Ethan - his sexuality was mentioned once or twice when he first appeared but now he’s just a lawyer. Not a hint of a love interest in sight. People aren’t even shipping him with Aaron! Luke - if you can count him... he hooked up with/ dated (?) Ethan’s friend but according to himself he’s not gay or bi... so *shrugs* Charity - she and Vanessa have split up, i don’t think Michelle is coming back any time soon so they’ll probably stay that way for a while. Charity has never labelled herself as far as i know and is busy with the haulage firm and doing dodgy deals (and begging her teenage granddaughter to forgive her)

Mack - at least seems to be Not Straight... but never confirmed.

Liv - back on the booze so i doubt her sexuality will be a big story by June. As far as we know she’s happy with who she is and happy in her relationship with vinny. though that’s probably going to blow up when the paul drama comes out.

Matty - the only one with a hint of a story with his bottom surgery. They could soap opera magic the 2 year waiting list away i suppose.

I’m not including kayak boy because plot devices don’t count.

And then there is that drag queen...

Idk i’ve had a shitty day at work so i kind of hate everything... but i’m not exactly counting down the days just yet.

#Anonymous #emmerdale #emmerdale spoilers #rant #ramblings

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autumn-foxfire · 3 years

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I feel like the reason so many villain stans have such bad interpretations of the story is because they project way to much on it. Like hero society must be destroyed because it must be just as bad as RL cops who they want to be dismantled. Because the heroes are cops that makes the lov right. Killing cops is OK so killing heroes is okay. Because even young people should be able to understand racism and how bad cops are in RL, the ua kids should be the same, so if they get hurt it's their (1)

(2)faut. Because people in RL defend abuse that means that deku is excusing dabis abuse when he yells at him. This makes him unforgivable. Because in RL people can have different reactions to grief that means dabi must be grieving Twice, and actually really care about people deep down. Because in RL corrupt systems generally have to be broken with violence that means the lov are actually fighting for justice. But when u look at the story that's such a stretch. Like so much of their posts are(-)

(3)paper thin. Like they'll look at the panel of dabi off to the side and compare it to how shoto has friends and be like he must be so sad 😢. Dabi must be in pain and suffering but no one cares, meanwhile all these heroes have it easy. Dabis way more burned then his victims. Won't anyone help this poor man? Like write paragraphs on 1 pic on how a Liv member must feel, but then take one look at a ua kid or hero and be like eh, they must just hate villains and be okay with abuse. Like okay guys.

They definitely project onto the story, that much has been made extremely clear recently with people treating the heroes like corrupt cops (which doesn’t even make sense in the context of the story) or trying to apply the “good” and “bad” victim mentality to the story even though Hori has never really done so himself and just showed a wide variety of victims and how they react to their trauma.

Anyone who tries to defend the heroes become “procop” and are treated harshly because of it (which... considering I know some people have harrassed minors because they dared to try and support individual heroes just shows you how far some of these stans are willing to go...) and must support in real-life police brutality and other horrible things.

And look at how people have reacted this chapter with Hawks daring to say he’s going to support the Todofam in their time of need and seems to be recovering! They’re treating him like an abuse apologist even though we don’t know his opinions on abuse (but considering his history, he probably doesn’t think highly of them) or how he feels about what Endeavor did. He legit only had to say one thing that shows he’s going to support Endeavor, a man who is changing and trying to become better for himself and his family, for everyone to hate him.

It seems in this fandom that apparently the only people allowed second chances in the fandom are the villains <.< And Hawks was wrong for trying to do that too because “He was trying to turn Twice against his family” or whatever BS they came up with to hate on Hawks.

Uraraka also got hated by the fandom because she stood up to her her attacker and told her that she was wrong. Again, it seems like only villains are allowed to stand up to the people that hurt them, if a hero does it then they’re just being dirty cops and supporting a corrupt system.

The double standards in the fandom is truly ridiculous at this point and it’s so frustrating.

I really don’t know why they continue to read the manga at this point if they think it supports or tries to justify all these horrible things. You’d think they would have dropped it and stopped supporting Hori if it was really that bad.

#bnha #bnha manga spoilers #bnha manga leaks #thanks for the ask!!#sorry I kind of went on a tangent #but it's just been building up recently #with the return of the fandom idiocy and toxicity #Anonymous

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stephkaylor · 3 years

Text

FAVES and FAILS: The Vampire Diaries

So I have decided that since The Vampire Diaries has a spin off, The Originals, I am going to divide the characters based on where they appeared the most. So on this list I will be talking about the Salvatores, the Petrova/Gilbert line, the Bennets and Caroline, etc. but I will discuss the Mikaelsons, Hayley, etc. on their own list with the other characters that appeared on The Originals mostly. As always, spoilers are abound as I will discuss storylines and character arcs below, so be warned of that. In any case, here’s my FAVES and FAILS for The Vampire Diaries.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: Damon Salvatore

Could it be anyone else? I don’t think so. He’s a delightful little sociopathic shit and I love everything about him. He is 99% id and 1% ego, if that, and even when I hated him, I loved him (god, I sound like Elena…). In any case, love this man, five stars, would recommend, chef’s kiss.

LEAST FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: …I think Matt Donovan…?

Ugh, it’s hard to pick between Matt, Tyler, and Jeremy, but I think it has to be Matt. I never enjoyed his judgey attitude against everything supernatural, he seemed pretty whiney most of the time, and he was just genuinely uninteresting for the majority of the show. Not into it. Pass.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Katherine Pierce (Katarina Petrova)

I thought about giving this post to Caroline by default, but if it comes down to it, Katherine nudges her way into the top spot. Katherine gave no fucks, knew what she wanted and was unapologetic about how she went about getting it, and an all around bad bitch. Was she primarily evil? Yes. But, to be honest, it never really bothered me.

LEAST FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Bonnie Bennet

God, this woman was annoying. She was hypocritical, judgmental, and far too holier than thou for me to swallow her bullshit. She constantly played favorites with Caroline and Elena (I’m sorry, you hold Caroline becoming a vampire against her for like two seasons, but when Elena becomes one, it’s not her fault? Sure.). She hated all supernatural creatures because they “go against nature”, but it’s totally chill for you to perform sacrificial magic to get what you want, unleashing a terrible evil in the process (but it’s not her fault). How she nearly excommunicated Caroline just because she stayed with Stefan after Stefan killed Enzo, as if it was her fault in any way. How everyone treated her like she was a special little unicorn because she’s a Bennet Witch and she’s so magical, like, please, gag me. I could go on, but I honestly cannot be bothered. Hard pass.

THE CHARACTER THAT DESERVED BETTER: Caroline Forbes

She was essentially shunned by all of her friends and family for becoming a vampire, even though she didn’t choose to become one at all. Also, she was basically used as collateral damage for the entire Salvatores and Gilberts versus The Mikaelsons debacle just because Klaus liked her. She was always the second choice no matter what the situation was (unless it’s her being impregnated with magical twins without her consent and then guilted into carrying the babies, but poor Alaric just lost his wife. I’m sorry, unless it’s your uterus, shut the fuck up). I’ll just be over here doing what exactly NO ONE on the show did, and pick Caroline first.

DEADWEIGHT CHARACTER WE SHOULD’VE DUMPED IN 2009: Tyler Lockwood

I couldn’t pick Matt twice, so Tyler, I guess. He was selfish, a terrible boyfriend to both Caroline and also Liv later, and if I have to hear that boy whine about his fucking sire bond one more time I will literally throw my laptop off of a bridge.

UNDERHYPED CHARACTER: Lorenzo “Enzo” St. John

Honestly, he’s one of the one things that made the last few seasons of the show bearable. His delightful British rogue was a lovely way to fill the void that the Mikaelsons left in my heart, his devil-may-care attitude was man-made-manifest of what I was always thinking while watching the show, his BFF relationship with Damon and later Caroline was a joy to watch, and he was way too good for Bonnie.

OVERHYPED CHARACTER: Alaric Saltzman

He is marginally more bearable right now on Legacies, but he annoyed the shit out of me while he was on the first show. Does he hate vampires or is he best friends with them? Does he want to be a hunter or does he want to stay away from anything supernatural of any kind? Also, he (along with nearly everyone else) basically guilted Caroline into carrying his magical siphoner babies, which is a touch too icky for me…

SHIP YOU WOULD SELL YOUR SOUL FOR: Delena (Damon and Elena)

Could it be anyone else? I never shipped Stelena, as I found both Stefan annoying and Elena too woe-is-me while she was with him. She made Damon want to be a better person and he made her embrace who she really was, monster and all. They had a perfect balance between themselves, and it was a joy to watch. He got the girl, guys.

SHIP YOU JUST WERE’N THAT INTO: Steroline (Stefan and Caroline)

They were just too…meh. I was entirely uninterested in them, whatsoever, and isn’t that even worse than a ship that you hate? I used their scenes for a bathroom break or to get a snack, as I was guaranteed to miss nothing interesting or important while they were on screen.

CHARACTER YOU LOVE TO HATE/FAVORITE VILLAIN: Kai Parker

What does it say about me that all of my favorite characters are violent psychopaths…? I’m just going to leave that to be unpacked with the future therapists I’m bound to hire. Kai was the perfect evil. He was powerful, purposeful, and unapologetically demonic in the very best way. I could watch him terrorize my favorite characters forever and not get bored. Perfection.

FAVORITE STORYLINE: Stefan and Damon’s Brotherhood

If you don’t think this is what the show was about at it’s core, you’re wrong. They loved each other, they hated each other, they died for each other, they killed for each other, and, ultimately, they let nothing and nobody come between them. If you asked me who Damon loved more, Elena or Stefan, I COULD NOT answer you, and isn’t that just the fucking point?!

STORYLINE WE COULD’VE DONE WITHOUT: Magical Babies

I know that a major reason this was even a storyline is because Candice Accola got pregnant, but still…how? Like…she is a vampire..? She is unable to biologically change…? Like can someone grab me a biology textbook and explain how this a thing that can happen BIOLOGICALLY, please? I get that they are mythical creatures, so science doesn’t mean much here, but it just doesn’t make sense in any universe. Also, as I said above, the fact that Caroline was impregnated without her consent and then largely guilted into carrying the babies is a touch too rape-y for me…

BIGGEST PLOTHOLE: Do they go to school, or…?

Like, are they just compelling the teachers to not notice them not attending class like 90% off the time? Also, how do the people in Mystic Falls not know anything about the supernatural? Like, they aren’t subtle AT ALL so how do they keep sliding under the radar? Also, in a lesser way, how are hybrid witch/vampires a thing? Like, I thought if a witch dies (like they would have to if they become a vampire), they lose their magic…?Make it make sense, Julie!

MOST HEARTBREAKING MOMENT: Damon Dies (the first time)

Honestly one of the saddest moments in the entire series was Damon’s ghost watching Elena lose it when he doesn’t make it back from the Other Side. They were finally happy and together and they can only enjoy it for like five minutes before it goes to shit. Why, Julie??!

BIGGEST EYEROLL MOMENT: Magical Babies (again)

I try to not use something twice on this list but COME ON. This was ridiculous and I do not support this in any way. (Also this twin bullshit is still fucking annoying on Legacies, if anyone was wondering).

MOST SHOCKING MOMENT (any spit-takes?): Elena forces Kathrine to take The Cure

This was one of the moments that I literally gasped aloud. Most of the time the foreshadowing on these shows is seen from miles away, but I honestly did not see this coming at all. Also, Kathrine was basically the LAST person who wanted that cure so it’s crazy that she was the one to end up taking it and turning human.

MOST BADASS MOMENT: Kathrine kisses Damon at the end of Season 1

Like I said before, she is the original BAD BITCH of the show (not an actual Original, but you know what I mean…) and this was an amazing entry for the character who would be, largely, the villain of the series. It played on the feelings that Damon is developing for Elena, it finally introduced the person who started it all for the Salvatores, and it showed us exactly who she is at her core, and that she isn’t sorry about it at all.

SERIES FINALE SATISFACTORY LEVEL (use no words, just gifs):

OVERALL MARKS OUT OF TEN (10 being this show has changed your life for the better, you happily rewatch the series over and over, and the show has made your life better in some way. 1 being this show gave you nothing but trust issues, a stomach ulcer, and high blood pressure, and you honestly do not know why you did this to yourself)

7 out of 10.

I look back on The Vampire Diaries with the kind of fondness that only comes from a bizarre mix of nostalgia and incredulity. When scenes from this series show up on my instagram feed or on my Youtube recommended page, an involuntary smile creeps across my face without me realizing. I could do without like half of the characters and some entire seasons were completely unnecessary to watch, but it gave me some of my very favorite characters and ships, and spawned an entire universe that I still enjoy to this day. This magical, crazy, beautiful world was a joy to experience, even when it made me want to beat my head against a wall at least once per season.

If you want to see the other ones I have made, here's the original post with links. x Hope you like these! (I say to probably no one...)

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sitp-recs · 11 months

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Hello Liv! Hope this is okay to ask. Feeling a Weasley/Draco streak. Do you have any Bill/Draco, Charlie/Draco, or Ron/Draco fic recs?

I'm deep into Bill/Draco ideas but there are barely any fics and wasn't sure if you had any more material ^^

Hi anon! In this house we thirst over love and support the Weasley family! I have a Dron list here, so I’m highlighting my top 5 and adding some fics with Bill and Charlie as well. Enjoy 😌

Ron/Draco:

A Soft Spot for Lost Causes by Helenish (E, 13k)

"Remember at school? Weasel? You’re so poor and dirty?" Ron said encouragingly "You hated me." "I did," Draco said.

The Sun, Shining Above You by @oknowkiss (E, 14k) - technically a Dronarry but Dron stole the scene for me

Since joining up with the dragontamers, Draco counts his days in nights. Nights spent drinking in the commune mess, making poor choices he doesn't regret, for once. Nights he doesn't remember, and nights he wishes he could stop remembering.

Dreaming Skies by @sweet-s0rr0w and @tackytigerfic (E, 20k)

Draco's life is going nowhere, so when Charlie Weasley offers him a job out on his reserve, Draco doesn't think twice before booking a Portkey. After all, it's not as if he has many other options. But when he arrives in Romania, he realises that nothing is quite what he expected...

A Fine Foray into Fashionable Fellatio by @wellhalesbells (E, 31k)

First comes tolerating, then comes shagging, then comes unintended consequences.

Is This It series by MillicentMakepeace (E, 52k)

Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy get trapped in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement during an attack drill. HOWEVER WILL THEY PASS THE TIME?

Bill/Draco:

A Room with a View in the Flowering City by @wolfpants (E, 1k)

During Draco's internship at Gringotts, Bill and Draco get to know each other in surprising ways. For Bill, it's fun, but also comforting.

slide by @onbeinganangel (E, 1.5k)

Bill Weasley, who insists on approaching Draco every time, no matter where, on fetching him drinks, on flirting relentlessly, on touching him softly with rough, big hands that leave Draco’s skin prickling. Bill Weasley, with that fang earring dangling enticingly off his ear, moving ever so slightly as he speaks, with his hair pulled up into a messy ponytail Draco desperately wants to pull on.

Charlie/Draco:

love on high by tryslora (E, 1.3k)

Charlie loves to take Draco up on dragon back and fuck him high above the ground.

Wildflower by @wolfpants (E, 1.3k)

Charlie and Draco's relationship grows like the wildflowers on the alpine meadows, and Charlie wonders how many seasons they'll survive.

Dragon Taming by who_la_hoop (T, 2k)

When the Malfoys flee – with dignity, of course – to Romania after the war, Draco finds unexpected kinship with one of those awful red-haired Weasley boys.

Put on a Show by @gracerene (E, 3k)

Charlie's not supposed to have sex with clients while on the clock. Luckily he's found a loophole.

Stay Gold by provocative_envy (M, 4k)

Draco has a favorite brand of caviar, for fuck’s sake.

how to win (despite yourself) by curiouslyfic (M, 4.5k)

Charlie knows he's only got Draco until Harry makes his move. Just, Charlie's gotten attached now and Draco's not easy to give up.

Leap of Faith by Alisanne (E, 5k)

Charlie's always had a way with magical creatures, and Draco is just a fancy name for a dragon.

Four Times Charlie Had Authority Over Draco and One Time He Didn't by Snegurochka (E, 8k)

It started the week after the final battle, in a Ministry holding cell with a fake Auror and a suspect who was used to doing as he was told.

Calling Me Out to the Cliffs by @wellhalesbells (M, 9k)

The war ends but Fenrir Greyback has evaded capture and he’s made no effort to hide his fascination with one Draco Malfoy. For his own protection, the Order decides to shack him up with Charlie Weasley in Middle-of-Nowhere, Romania. Which is just what Charlie wants this Christmas: to spend the hols with his ex.

Dragon's Ink by Leela (E, 9k)

One evening, just before closing, a hooded and cloaked man enters Charlie's studio. Draco Malfoy wants a tattoo. The only problem is that he already has one.

it's brutal out here by @dracoladon and @lazywonderlvnd (E, 25k)

Draco finally meets Charlie Weasley. He's kind of a beast.

Fire on the Mountain (Run, boy, run) by cryptonym (E, 25k)

Charlie is just trying to get on with life post-war with his beloved dragons and forget. Draco just wants to get out of England and somehow manages to wangle his way into a placement on the reserve. Charlie doesn't expect him to last a week, but his dedication, perseverance, and obvious love of dragons are impressive, and it doesn't hurt that he has a damn fine arse. Charlie's just not sure he can trust Draco.

There’s Something About A Malfoy by mindabbles (E, 27k)

Charlie has no room in his drawers for anyone else's skivvies, Harry wallows in moral agony for a bit, Draco wants to rebuild his life, and Scorpius just wants Harry to stop being an idiot. And there's something wicked in the forest. If they're going to stop it, they're all going to have to work together.

Bonus: Bill/Draco/Charlie 😈

He Wants Him by Leela (E, 1.5k)

Bill wants Draco. Charlie wants him, too, especially after Bill's had him.

#asks #anon #Draco & the Weasleys #can you tell I love my rare pairs 😌

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scrapyardboyfriends · 3 years

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Please don't let that anon or anons bother you. How sad to spend your time stalking a blog and sending abusive messages? I can't understand it at all. Anyway, please don't stop posting. I always find your take on what is happening very interesting and engaging. And if I didn't, I would stop following. Simple. Lets see what tonight will bring. I know Liv is not everyones favourite but the poor girl having to endure Chas overnight must have been horrendous. Re Aaron covering for Mack though, surely he is guilty of B&E no matter what the reason. If he dobs in Mack, he (Mack) will just get in trouble as well for thieving or am I missing something?

I’m trying not to let that person drive me away this time. They are very tiring though.

I’m glad to know I’m not annoying everyone with my posts though.

As for Liv, no one deserves to be locked in their own home by Chaddy but maybe she’ll think twice about participating in that next time. Haha. I do hope she finds her way soon though because I want all of this Paul stuff done for good. Although, good for Izzy actually getting some bigger story stuff this year. I do think she’s doing well with it even if it’s not all been my favorite content.

With Aaron, I feel like now that the brooch has been returned and the charges against Eric dropped, normal soap protocol would be to just eventually have the Mack of it all come out and then Eric would be annoyed but it would all get hand waved away. Because honestly, who cares at this point? And maybe that will still happen after Mack confronts Eric next week or whatever. But also this story has lasted longer than it’s had any right to so who knows what they’re trying to do with it.

#current emmerdale #current aaron #emmerdale complaints corner

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rahleeyah · 3 years

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Birthday anon (again!!!) here. I loved you last chapter of Hell of a View, I really like how you write Kathy, like a normal person (I guess) and I cannot wait for Elliot to tell the kids. I mean it was due, if my dad was having a baby with another woman I would definitely want a heads up (at the very least).

Also following up from the religion “issue”, I definitely agree that it is different from person to person (here too obviously) but the vibe I am getting here in Italy is much more like the first friend you described, especially among younger generations (and that’s maybe why I do kind of relate, even if I am an only child - I do have a huge ass family on my dad’s side, even though that’s more due to the fact where I lived has been a very poor area for a long time, where people mainly were agricultural workers) but also the vibe is that private sins matter a lot more if the community knows about them than by themselves.

Also, I will look up in details what Evangelicals are (cause to tell the truth I have no idea). I’m so sorry for your friend who got the marriage annulled, it is not common at all (here at least, I even asked my parents if they knew somebody who did that - because they are from another generation - and they said: no, why? There’s divorce isn’t it?) and from what I know it’s very hard and expensive. I agree that American Catholics (and religion in general I must admit) is a lot louder: I once hosted a kid from probably the Mid-West, who used at least a kg of his luggage for a huge (huge) Latin Bible, asked me if I could read it (sorry kid, Latin and Italian are not exactly the same thing) and then proceeded to ask me if it was true in Italy women go to the beach topless (which sometimes yes, but the French are big on that one). Overall it was very funny, but it really shocked me.

Hoped to get a smile on your face with my blabbering, if you ever want to visit this side of the Atlantic (and if I’m still here) I will de-anonize and be a tourist guide, it’s the minimum I can do for what you’ve done form me! ❤️

Kisses from Rome xx

Thank you so much anon! It was important to me to keep Kathy and Elliot friends in this story bc at this point in canon they are still friends. They're playing nice at mass when the twins get confirmed. They're having drinks, even going so far as to talk about getting back together. I left that bit out of my story but the point is that she didn't cut him off, didn't hate him; she just couldn't live with him anymore and when she doesn't have to they do all right. They care about each other, they want to take care of their kids. So it felt right for the story to keep their relationship friendly. They've been separated like two years at this point, so Kathy's got some distance and isn't trying to get him back, so there's no need for her to be super OTT jealous.

And your story about the exchange student made me lol first up I only know the one person who's gotten an annulment, it's not common here, either, my understanding is it's a long, very involved process with very strict requirements, so that's why it was my example of somebody who takes their faith very, very seriously. If she'd just gotten divorced, she couldn't get remarried in the church, and that mattered a lot to her.

But omg this kid with the latin bible. When I was in high school we hosted a German exchange student for a while - and she was super lovely and we had so much fun and I got to go and stay with her family in Germany and it was like honestly the best experience of my teenage years BUT ANYWAY - and she was really surprised by how big a deal church was in my small town. Everybody went to church. Twice on Sundays, and Wednesday nights, and more if there were special programs or things going on. Growing up it was not uncommon for me to spend all day on Sunday at church; go to Sunday School, go to service, get some lunch, back for choir practice, then Sunday night church things, service for the grownups and programs for the kids. And the exchange student, she was like you live like this? And I was like oh my god I know tell me about it.

A fun thing that I just remembered is there was definitely a night when me and one of my friends were hanging out with the exchange student WATCHING SVU AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO HER THAT LIV AND EL WERE IN LOVE so like. I've always been like this (I have no idea if this is true or not but in my bones I believe it was Fault. It would have been 2006 ish so it feels possible)

Anyway. Especially in rural areas American Christianity, whatever the flavor, tends to be pervasive, and sheltered. America is culturally Christian whether it wants to accept that or not, and when you grow up in an environment where everyone looks and acts just like you it's shocking to step out into the real world and realize that's not true. Everybody goes to church and sex is taboo and the gay abortionists are coming for your guns and that's all you know if that's all you ever see. Hopefully this kid's horizons expanded a little while he was abroad lmao

#anonymous

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lady-divine-writes · 4 years

Text

A Change in the Weather AU (inspired by Cacophonylights's A Change in the Weather) - Chapter 30

Read on AO3.

(Author’s note - the above cover gives hint about this chapter, and chapter 31 :D)

Kurt appreciates drama.

He appreciates it to a degree rivaled only by his dad’s love of NASCAR and Finn’s obsession with grilled cheese sandwiches.

It might even be said, by a select few, that he possesses a flair for the dramatic.

Kurt isn’t, however, a fan of the fact that drama seems to follow him wherever he goes, comes courtesy of big ticket items, and hangs over his head like a sword held aloft by a single thread of red rope licorice.

That he doesn’t appreciate.

The drama Kurt does enjoy happens to be genre-specific, goes hand-in-hand with sweeping, over-the-top, romantic gestures, and maybe a dance number or two.

Like the situation he’s currently in, preparing to perch atop a magnificent red roan mare. Kurt has never been up close and personal with a horse before. The first thing he notices is they’re so much taller - and wider - in real life than they seem on screen. He also didn’t know he’d have to be introduced to his horse before he could mount it (though when you use a word like mount, the need for an introduction makes sense).

Their groom teaches Kurt how to brush his mare’s mane (which he is determined to braid somewhere along the way, get it out of her eyes). Then he earns her favor by feeding her sugar cubes. She plucks them one by one from his outstretched palm, and Kurt falls instantly in love.

If his future as a Broadway phenom ever hits the skids, equestrian sports are beginning to look like an acceptable replacement.

But there is a problem.

Everything about potentially riding this horse terrifies him.

Sebastian rented the horses from a stable nearby, one the Smythe family frequents whenever they’re in town. The horses don’t belong to the Smythes, but according to the man who saddled them, they might as well, as Sebastian’s family reserves the exact same beasts every summer.

Sebastian mounts his own mare with the skill of an accomplished equestrian because of course he does. Kurt, on the other hand, requires the assistance of two bubbly blond stable hands (who remind him enough of Brittany and Sam that he has to do a double take) and a large wooden block. Sebastian watches the calamity go down from his own saddle with intense interest and a twinkle in his eye. Between trying to maintain balance and not roll his ankle, Kurt spots Sebastian sporting his signature smirk and braces for the taunts guaranteed to come, which he plans to volley with comebacks he’s already preparing in his head. But when Kurt finally finds his seat, Sebastian gives him a smile that appears to have nothing devious hiding behind it.

“All set?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Kurt manages, panting from the exertion of pulling himself up and throwing a leg over, doing both so enthusiastically he nearly propelled himself clear over the other side of his horse. “All set.”

“Everyone’s first time goes like that,” Sebastian reassures him with a dismissive wave and only a sliver of innuendo.

“Even Julian’s?” Kurt asks bitterly, his ego stinging. He imagines the older Smythe boy launching himself onto a stallion’s muscular back from the ground using only the saddle horn to boost him up, then galloping off into the sunset, leaving the rest of his family in the dust.

But Sebastian dashes that image with a nod. “Yup. Julian excels at a great many things. But for some reason, horseback riding isn’t one of them.”

“A-ha. Somehow I don’t believe you.”

“I’ve got no reason to lie, babe. And besides - I have videos.” Sebastian bounces his eyebrows, apparently relishing the fact. “Lots of them.”

Kurt’s left eyebrow bobs up. “So you gather blackmail material on your brother, too?”

“I don’t see why you’d assume he’d be immune.” Sebastian’s horse, itching to get on the trail, shifts her weight underneath him. He strokes her neck, shushing her to keep her still. It’s such an endearing gesture, so unlike the Sebastian Kurt once despised … but so much like the Sebastian he’s grown to love. “It’s tit for tat, really. Lord knows he’s got tons of stuff on me. I’ve got stuff on Liv, too, but I’m smarter than to use it.”

“Why’s that?”

Sebastian barks out a laugh that, underneath the surface, is laced with genuine fear. “Are you kidding? She’d murder me in my sleep!”

“Then why have it?”

“As leverage against Julian.”

“And that works how exactly?”

“If I let something I have on Livvie slip but I can convince her that Julian is responsible …” Sebastian sucks a breath in through his teeth, his eyes going distant, like he’s imagining the outcome of such an act, the gruesome devastation that would ensue. “But I’d only do that as a last resort. Julian would have to do something particularly heinous for me to go that far.”

Kurt shakes his head disapprovingly. Poor Olivia. Kurt wonders if she knows that she’s Sebastian’s nuclear option. Sebastian and Julian must be rubbing off on Kurt more than he knows because he also wonders how much that information might be worth. “Oh what a twisted life you lead. You are truly a criminal mastermind.”

“You know it,” Sebastian says, throwing Kurt a wink. He clicks his tongue and leads his horse away, Kurt’s mare following behind as if she knew that was the plan all along.

Sebastian takes them to a rise overlooking the beach, the trail to get there narrower than Kurt likes. He’s sure his horse knows what she’s doing. This isn’t her first time walking this trail, after all. But again, Kurt’s mare is a big animal, and she lists from side to side. This trail, flush up against the cliff side, is one Kurt would think twice about taking on foot before calling it quits, doing an about face, and going off in search of the nearest coffee shop. Since there are no seat belts, the only thing keeping him from sliding off and falling to his death is the strength of his thighs.

Kurt thought his thighs were strong. Only now does he see that cutting the 30 Minute Buns and Thighs video he used to do religiously from his cardio rotation was a huge mistake.

Fear for his life aside, the view from the overlook is spectacular, but the height vomit inducing. Kurt leans forward, barely budging in his saddle to peek over the edge, and his stomach lurches up into his throat.

He has to trust his horse. She wouldn’t go running off this cliff for no reason. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt herself. But what about him? Would she buck him off? What motivation would she have to do so? Horses, like dogs, can sense the good in people, can’t they? Not just the shallow good like, “I put a dollar in a Salvation Army bucket once,” but the deep down, selfless good. Kurt isn’t a bad person, but he can be a bit inconsiderate at times, especially with wait staff.

If this horse decides to judge him, his inability to stop snapping at waiters will be the hill he ends up dying on, he just knows it.

The path takes his mare nauseatingly close to the edge for a brief second, and Kurt bites his tongue to keep from screaming.

“Whoa, Nellie,” he says in a wobbly voice, pulling up beside Sebastian’s mare, stopped on a ledge wide enough to accommodate both animals … and the two of them should Kurt decide to crawl off his horse, lay flat on his stomach, and hug the ground.

Sebastian, watching Kurt’s silent crisis run its course, points out, “You do know your horse’s name is Desiree, right?”

“I do. And by the way, I have questions about that. But whoa, Desiree doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

Sebastian shrugs. “You’re not wrong.”

“So,” Kurt starts, swallowing half a dozen times to stop his voice from shaking, “does your exceptional riding proclivity qualify you as a ‘horse boy’ then?”

Sebastian chuckles. “No. No, Livvie is the horse person in our family. Always has been”

“That’s right,” Kurt says, wrapping the reins around his hand for security so tightly he’s afraid his fingers might turn purple. “She got the pony.”

“Mm-hmm. Pony, private riding lessons, the whole bit. The trails around the beach are perfect for horseback riding. So when we’d come out here, my dad and mom would take her, and Julian and I were forced to tag along. To teach us important life lessons, they said. I think they just didn’t want to leave us alone, afraid of the trouble we’d get into unsupervised. Needless to say, Molly here and I have a special relationship.”

Kurt eyes Sebastian coyly through lowered lashes. “Should I be jealous?”

Sebastian eyes him back, wearing a way-too-suggestive smile considering the subject matter. “Tremendously.”

“I’ve always wanted to learn to ride a horse,” Kurt admits. “I think a lot of kids do.”

“Did you picture yourself as Liz Taylor in National Velvet? Or Robert Redford in The Electric Horseman?”

“More like Viggo Mortensen in Hidalgo.”

Sebastian gives that some thought before commenting, green eyes aimed at the sky, peering at strings of clouds overhead. “I can see that. I think you’d look rather distinguished in a Stetson Diamante.”

“I’ve always thought so,” Kurt says, pulling himself up in his stirrups, a proud expression on his face.

Sebastian’s eyes, tracing the clouds, find the ocean, stare off into the sunset as the tide rolls up the sand. “Julian teased her endlessly for it.”

“Julian did?” Kurt asks with a dubious tilt of his head.

“Yup. Just Jules. I didn’t.”

“Why not?” It sounds like an odd question after Kurt asks it, grilling his boyfriend to find out why he didn’t cut down his older sister over one of her favorite hobbies.

“I envied her her love of riding,” Sebastian replies without turning to look Kurt’s way, the way Kurt had expected. “You know, when kids ask their parents for a pony, it’s usually because they think it’s going to be fun and exciting, make them look cool, turn them into a superhero or something. Not her. She loved riding for the sake of riding and for no other reason. She loved horses simply because she wanted to take care of a horse, even before she ever sat on one … or so my parents tell me.” He looks at the reins pooled in his hands, the horse’s mane beneath them chocolate brown, close to the shade of his own hair. Sebastian sniffs … or Kurt thinks he does. He only sees the subtle movement, doesn’t hear from where he and his horse are standing. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything that way.”

Kurt nudges his horse closer, feeling too far away with the few feet of space between them. “Not even your car?”

“Oh, well, cut me to the quick, I guess.” Sebastian throws his head back and laughs. This time Kurt definitely hears him sniffle, sees him wipe a tear from his cheek with the back of his hand. But there must only be the one because when he turns to look at Kurt, his cheeks are dry. “No, Olivia is special. When you take riding lessons, the first thing your instructor tells you is that riding is less about getting on a horse’s back and flying down the straightaway and more about taking care of something other than yourself. You put your horse first at all times. Its comfort is paramount.” Sebastian looks back at the ocean, clears a catch from his throat. “To ride a horse is to put your trust in someone else, and have someone else trust you back. Whatever you do, you do to bring out the best in the animal you choose to ride. If you hate horses, you’re going to be a lousy horse person. Olivia doesn’t see things the way they are,” he says after a pause. “She sees things the way they could be. People, too. Always finding the best in everyone. She’s not a cynic like me and my brother. She inherited the lion’s share of my parents’ optimism and goodwill. She didn’t leave any for the rest of us. And she knows what she wants, has since she was little. She launches into life with both feet. So does Julian, though, in his case, he doesn’t always land on them.”

“What about you?”

A hint of the cynicism Sebastian mentioned comes to rest in the corners of his mouth, pushing it into a half-grin. “I’m not quite as brave as they are.”

“I think you are.”

“Reckless isn’t the same as brave, babe.”

“I think it depends on how you look at it, on how you define reckless. But you have so many opportunities available to you. And a built in safety net. You can afford to be reckless.”

Sebastian chews his lower lip, seems to contemplate his next words carefully. “Because I have money, right?”

“Right,” Kurt answers quickly, then suddenly feels like he’s taken a wrong turn down a one-way street.

“Money doesn’t help when you don’t have a path.”

“Yes it does!” Kurt says, wondering why it is that Sebastian doesn’t see his wealth as a boon when it’s as clear as day to Kurt. Enjoy all the things his wealth can buy him. Sebastian had repeated that sentiment last night when they were talking about Kurt going to NYADA, and taking that $10,000 check so he could get there. Which proves that wealth can definitely buy a future. A good one, even if Sebastian might be on the fence about which way to go. “It can help you build your own path. It can build you a dozen paths!”

“But where would they lead?” It’s a rhetorical question, but one that sounds like he’s pleading with Kurt to give him an answer. Not in general terms, but a specific destination. “If I don’t know which direction I want to go, what good does a path do me?”

“It gets you started going somewhere! Anywhere!”

“And what’s wrong with staying where you are when you don’t know where to go?” Sebastian asks, his voice so thick under the weight of his emotions, it cracks. This isn’t just a friendly discussion they’re having anymore, Kurt realizes. This is something else. Something Kurt doesn’t fully understand. “Isn’t that what they teach you in wilderness survival? Stay where you are until someone finds you? Hug a tree and shit?”

That remark strikes Kurt as so absurd considering the context of their conversation, he almost bursts out laughing. “Do I look like I would know the answer to a wilderness survival question?” But then that context becomes clearer, and Sebastian’s remark even more absurd. Wait … is he thinking about … staying in Ohio!?!?

“Do you think money solves everything, Kurt? Do you think those rich people on the Titanic could buy their way off that sinking ship?”

“They kinda did,” Kurt says sheepishly, face scrunching apologetically knowing that’s not the answer Sebastian wants to hear. “They were the only ones allowed on the lifeboats, so …

“Yeah. Right. Okay,” Sebastian says, each word clipped within an inch of its life. He turns away in frustration, focusing on the sunset as if he has to watch every last minute of it or suffer dire consequences.

“But you’re not on a sinking ship,” Kurt continues, watching his step with every word. “You can literally choose any direction and go. You wouldn’t have to know what’s there or even have a reason why. Just pack a bag and start walking.”

“You make it sound so simple,” Sebastian mutters grimly, followed by something else Kurt doesn’t catch, although he does hear the words know what you want to do.

“It sounds to me like you’re making excuses,” Kurt counters but not unkindly, “and I don’t know what for. To tell you the truth, I feel like I’ve entered an argument already in progress.”

Sebastian bristles, his back going rigid. Kurt holds his breath, unsure what he’s about to do. Would he turn his horse around and leave without a word, abandon Kurt there on the top of this rise in the dark?

No. Kurt is confident he wouldn’t. Sebastian isn’t that person. Not anymore. He wouldn’t do that.

Besides, Kurt’s mare would simply follow his. He’s really in no danger unless Sebastian comes up to him and shoves him off his horse.

Kurt isn’t convinced his thighs would protect him.

Kurt’s words seem to take the steam out of Sebastian. When he turns around to face Kurt, he looks tired. Worn down. “I’m sorry. Kurt. I’m not trying to start a fight. And don’t think I don’t understand where you’re coming from. I do. I really do. Maybe not from first hand experience but I get it. And you’re absolutely right. When you don’t have money, when you have to worry about where your next meal is coming from or how you’re going to pay your rent, it sucks. Money greases so many wheels, can take you to so many places. I’m fortunate. So fucking fortunate. But there’s something to be said about having an identity that doesn’t revolve around money.”

“I don’t … I don’t think I understand.” Kurt says it, but then he realizes that’s not entirely true. On some level, he does. For a good portion of his high school career, he had to contend with being known as the one out-and-proud gay kid. To most people, it was his sole descriptor. But there’s so much more to him.

Just like there’s so much about Sebastian’s situation that Kurt doesn’t understand.

“No matter where I am, if I’ve been there longer than a week and you ask someone about me, ask them to describe who I am, they’ll tell you I’m some rich douche. That’s it. That’s what I am. That’s who I was at Dalton. It doesn’t matter that I was a straight A student, 5.0 GPA, on the lacrosse team, that I was a Warbler, or any of that. I’m an asshole and I have money. That’s it. That’s my identity. But not you,” Sebastian says, his voice becoming hard and soft at the same time. “You’re Kurt Hummel. You’re a trail blazer. You’re compassionate and brave and talented ...”

“Who told you that?” Kurt interjects, squashing uncomfortable laughter with disbelief.

“Blaine for one,” Sebastian admits, though from his expression, he would rather pry up his fingernails than say that name. “The Warblers, your friends at that public school you went to, your teacher Will Schuester, your father, your stepmother, Finn and Puck. You do your own thing no matter what other people say. And even if they knock you down, you stick up for them. You ran for student body president on a platform of stopping bullying. I would never do that!”

“You don’t want to stop bullying?” Kurt asks, appalled enough to overlook the fact that Sebastian knows any of that. But when Sebastian shoots him a You have got to be kidding me! look, Kurt is immediately confronted with the reality of who he’s talking to. Sebastian was a bully! He blackmailed and schemed. He photoshopped vulgar pictures of Kurt’s stepbrother, and tried to steal his boyfriend. He’s only recently redeemed himself for any of that. There are people who would still consider him a bully - Kurt’s friends, people he loves - who haven’t had the opportunity Kurt has to get to know him.

But it’s also an unfair question. From what Kurt has learned, Sebastian wasn’t always that way. The person he was while he was at Dalton - that person was created, and by someone other than himself.

“I would never run for student body president in the first place!” Sebastian yells. “I don’t care about other people’s problems! I can’t be bothered! If I went to your school God forbid and people bullied me, I wouldn’t want to help them! I’d want to watch the place burn to the ground!”

“That … that’s not true!”

Sebastian leans towards him threateningly. But not threatening to hurt him. Threatening to make him see the truth. “Isn’t it!?”

“I …” Kurt puts a hand to his head and closes his eyes. Sebastian’s words pound in his brain. They connect a bunch of dots, but they also leave other sections of the overall picture blank. “I’m sorry, I … I don’t know what’s going on. We’ve gone from horses to your sister to student body president to arson and I … I think … I may have missed the point somewhere.”

“The point I’ve been trying to make,” Sebastian says slowly, bringing his mare closer to Kurt’s, “and very badly is that money is a wonderful thing to have. But it shouldn’t be your identity. You need to be something more. Money will never make you a whole person if you can’t be one without it.”

Kurt nods, relieved to have it summed up so nicely before either one of them accidentally says something they’ll both regret. With his own deadline of NYADA looming, Kurt forgot that Sebastian said he hasn’t chosen a college yet. What if that’s not the entire story?

What if he doesn’t know what he wants to do with the rest of his life? And what if that scares him?

“Okay,” Kurt says, accepting Sebastian’s hand when it finds his. “I … I think I get it. That makes sense.”

“I’m glad. Because believe it or don’t, I didn’t bring you up here to start an argument. I just wanted to watch the sun set. Show you one of my favorite thinking spots. To be honest …” Sebastian shakes his head “… I don’t know where half of that came from.”

Kurt gives Sebastian’s hand a comforting squeeze. He hopes that Sebastian might be willing to bring this subject up again at the beach house when they’re both a little more level-headed, better equipped to handle it. “Where would you say you fall on that spectrum? Between being whole and being not?”

“I’d have to say I’m extensively ventilated …” Sebastian brings Kurt’s hand to his mouth for a kiss, disarming smile locked back in place. “But on the mend.”

Kurt watches Sebastian run his thumb over his knuckles, hesitant to give his hand back, even with the darkness settling in around them. “You know,” Kurt says, “this picture you’re painting of who you are … if I wasn’t here, seeing it for myself, I don’t think I would ever believe any of this about you.”

Sebastian frowns, looks like he’s about to rush to his own defense, but he stops. “I guess I didn’t really give you the chance to find out for yourself.”

“Why isn’t this the foot you put forward all the time?”

“Because … I don’t like being vulnerable with people.”

“You don’t have to be vulnerable. But nice would be …” Kurt searches his head for the perfect word, but only comes up with “… nice. You know what they say - more flies with honey and all that.”

Sebastian sputters. “There you go again with those archaic expressions! Who on earth wants to be surrounded by flies? Being this version of me is too much work for too little pay off most of the time. For what I usually want, my methods get me results quicker.”

“So … what does that say about me?” Kurt asks. “You and I have been at this for months. And it’s not as if I rolled over for you the first chance I got.”

Sebastian tugs Kurt’s hand, brings him close enough to give him the whisper of a kiss against his cheek. “That says you’re worth the effort.”

***

It’s been well over a week since the Smythes descended on the beach house, and as much fun as it is having them there, Kurt is steadily becoming paranoid. He wouldn’t have had Olivia not made that remark about keeping an eye out for her mother. Now he’s convinced that every look Charlotte tosses his way holds significance.

A silent warning.

That she knows about him and Sebastian, and that the two of them are royally screwed - Sebastian more so than he, of course. Only she’s too nice to shred him to pieces in front of the family, so she’s waiting to do it in private.

He won’t know for certain until she corners him and they talk.

So he does the mature thing.

He avoids being alone with her at all costs.

He doesn’t hide behind curtains or vault over furniture when he sees her approach. He simply makes certain he’s never by himself for longer than a few minutes. That amounts to trips to the bathroom and any time he needs to change clothes, which (and he’s not proud of this) he’s done twice as an excuse not to talk to her. With Sebastian’s new found need to be with Kurt every conceivable second, that takes care of every time else. Still, in the confines of the beach house, Kurt knows it’s impossible to dodge Charlotte forever. He just hopes he can figure out what he’s going to say when the time comes, how he’s going to defend his and Sebastian’s actions.

How he’s going to make being a boyfriend-for-hire in order to deceive her in specific sound not so bad.

Sitting on Sebastian’s lap on the porch swing, Kurt’s favorite place in the house to be hands down, he’s finding it difficult to relax. Even though she’s nowhere where she can see them, Kurt feels her eyes on him. Several times he pops his head up and scans the beach to see if she’s walking along the shore, but no. She’s not there.

This is all in his head. He knows it. He’s building it up to something bigger than it needs to be. But if he doesn’t deal with things soon, he’s going to give himself a nervous condition.

“Hey, babe. I have to run to the bathroom,” Sebastian says, sliding his hands underneath Kurt’s rear and relocating him to the far side of the swing.

“O-okay,” Kurt says, a knot starting in his stomach, like a stop watch zeroing out before a tie-breaker race. “Don’t take too long.”

“Yeah, alright. I … won’t,” Sebastian says, giving Kurt an odd look before heading towards the door to his room. Kurt watches him go, crossing every finger on both hands and his toes in his socks, praying Sebastian returns before Charlotte discovers he’s alone and swoops in. Kurt doesn’t see her, hasn’t seen her for most of the day actually. He’d be hard pressed to say whether or not she’s even there.

Kurt and Sebastian ate dinner on the porch, intend on sleeping out there, too, in the tent still set up in the far corner. Did he see her before dinner? Or did Greg take her out to eat? They’d been discussing an Italian place not too far from the beach. They could be there, enjoying a romantic evening alone, with not a single thought to the deceptive practices of her son and his boyfriend. Or did she go shopping with Olivia? Olivia mentioned wanting to hit Yankee Candle for apple pie scented wax melts after stumbling across one of Kurt and Sebastian’s vanilla scented votives. That’s a possibility.

Unfortunately, there’s only one way for him to inconspicuously check. He’d have to go inside and take a peek for himself. If he texts Olivia, he runs the risk of her coming out to ask him what’s up with her mother in tow.

Kurt gets so wrapped up in thinking about where Charlotte could be that he misses her sweeping through the door right as Sebastian leaves, stopping her son to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, Kurt!” she says brightly, striding across the porch toward him, wrapped in the coziest looking, camel-colored, cashmere duster. He’s been looking for one just like it - not super chunky the way knitted dusters tend to be. This one looks soft, and clingy in all the right places. And that color - super complementary. Once she’s done verbally disemboweling him, he’ll have to ask her where she got it. “I was hoping I’d get you alone! You and my son seem to be locked together at the hip lately! I’d need a crowbar to separate you two!”

“That seems to be the consensus,” Kurt says, banishing the image of sweet matriarch Charlotte Smythe wielding a crowbar. He shouldn’t be this nervous around her. She’s never given him reason to be. She treats him like he’s part of the family. Besides, Sebastian and Julian both agree that Olivia is the scary one. Not their mother.

Then again, where do they think Olivia gets it from?

“That’s not a bad thing. I remember being your age, locked at the hip with my boyfriend,” she reveals, a speck of wickedness coloring her smile. “But as much as I adore my son, I was hoping I could talk to you - one on one.”

Kurt’s stomach flip-flops the way it did during his NYADA audition. The only difference is, at his audition, he had a pair of gold pants to give him strength. He loves borrowing Sebastian’s Ralph Lauren lounge pants, but it’s not the same. “Absolutely. What’s on your mind?”

“Well, I feel like you may be avoiding me … just a little,” she says, bringing a hand up, putting her thumb and forefinger together for emphasis.

“Oh, uh … no. No I haven’t. Not … consciously,” he fibs, but she stares him down. Even if she doesn’t know about him and Sebastian pretending to be boyfriends, she knows that Kurt has been lying about something. Charlotte is an intelligent woman. Kurt is not about to disrespect her. “I’m sorry if it seems that way. That wasn’t my intention.”

She stays silent a moment longer, scrutinizing him the same way Carole does him and Finn when her motherly instincts tell her not to trust them. And Carole’s instincts are pretty much consistently on the nose. But Charlotte may not feel comfortable scolding her son’s boyfriend.

She may have decided to let the guilt eat Kurt away for her.

“Sebastian says you have quite a fondness for this old swing,” she says. “But before you came along, he’d never come out here. Ever. You would think he was afraid of heights or something the way he avoided it, and my son is definitely not afraid of heights. In fact, if someone were to ask me what Sebastian is afraid of, I’d have to say there isn’t a thing … except losing you. And your good opinion of him.”

Kurt goes temporarily speechless. He wants to say he knew that, but he can’t. Because he didn’t. “Really?”

“A-ha. So imagine my surprise when I found out that the two of you weren’t actually an item.”

Kurt’s eyes pop open. He hopes he looks stunned, hurt, maybe even a little too scandalized for words. But he knows he’s not that good an actor. Not yet. Give him a couple of semesters, maybe a year abroad …

But right now, he probably looks exactly the way he feels.

Busted.

“That’s … that’s not …” Kurt tries, but he can’t get the rest of the words out. They physically refuse to leave his tongue.

“It’s not what?” Charlotte asks in that stern way mothers do when weeding out the truth.

When they know for a fact that they’re being duped.

“You’re … you’re right.” Those words are a bit harder to say but at least they come out. “We weren’t a couple. B-but we are now,” he adds, praying that makes everything right, that he didn’t inadvertently toss Sebastian under the bus and lose him everything.

“As of …?” she presses.

Oh God, Kurt thinks, losing the feeling in his entire body. Even his tongue goes numb. Nope. He didn’t lose Sebastian everything before. But he may right now. God, he wishes he’d thought to talk to Sebastian about this! Gotten some sort of story straight. “A…after the gala?” More like after they got to North Carolina, but Kurt is not about to split hairs.

Charlotte, who had been sitting with her legs crossed, an elbow resting comfortably on one knee and her chin cradled in the palm of her hand, straightens in surprise.

Oh no! Kurt panics, knowing by the look in her eyes that she’s putting two and two together, time lines readjusting, figuring out just how long they haven’t been a couple.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry for lying to you! It’s … it’s all my fault!” he says, hoping that if he keeps her attention locked on himself, that if he can somehow spin it so he’s the perpetrator here and not Sebastian, she’ll forget that they were going to empty out his bank account and take back his tuition money. They can’t do that! Not after what Sebastian told him today! Not after everything he might be afraid of! “Are you angry? Disappointed? I’ll make it up to you somehow! I swear!”

“Calm down, dear.” She has an exquisite poker face. Kurt has to give her that. He doesn’t have a clue what she’s thinking. But the parts of her expression that aren’t blank are slightly sad. “I’m not disappointed. Or angry.”

“If you don’t mind my asking,” Kurt says, feeling like he’s walking on eggshells made of plate glass and battery acid, “how did you figure us out?”

Charlotte smirks. “Well, whether they like it or not, I know my children. And to be honest, because he’s my youngest, I probably know Sebastian best of all. Which is how I know this arrangement the two of you had …” She wiggles her forefinger between Kurt and an invisible placeholder that represents Sebastian “… whatever it entailed, wasn’t your idea. But I can appreciate you throwing yourself on that grenade, and don’t think I don’t know why.” Kurt is about to launch into a new line of disagreeing, but Charlotte sighs uncomfortably, and that makes him hold back. “Kurt, I’ve walked in on my son mid-coitus more times than any mother should, and what I saw when I walked in on the two of you … that wasn’t Sebastian. Not the one I’ve seen torturing himself with different sexual partners for years. The giggling, the smiling - that was different. It was honest. It’s what I’ve wanted for him for longer than I can tell you. And I was so happy to see it. But in a way, because of that, I knew it wasn’t real.”

“But … why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“Because of all the boys my son knows, he chose you. So he had to have a reason. And aside from that, I like you, Kurt. My husband husband likes you. We think that you’re good for our son. So I thought that, given enough time, what you two were pretending to be might become real.” Charlotte smiles. “As it turns out, it did.”

“Yes, it did,” Kurt agrees shyly.

“And I don’t want you to worry. Sebastian is safe. And that’s not contingent on you or on anything the two of you do. Gregory and I, we both bear some responsibility for Sebastian hatching this little scheme. Ultimatums don’t always work the way you intend them to.” That should sound like she’s admitting defeat, but the wink she gives Kurt admits anything but. “Just make sure you get what he promised you.”

“I did,” Kurt assures her. “It and a lot more.”

“Good,” she says. “Very good. You know, being a parent, you raise your kids the best way you know how, in the hopes that they grow into adults that can make good decisions on their own. I may not agree with all of the decisions my children have made, but they are their decisions to make. I can’t micromanage their lives. I have to trust them.”

“I think my dad would agree with you,” Kurt says, thinking back on all the times his father stressed that Kurt was an adult, that he’d be out of the house soon, and that his decisions were his own. And as much as Kurt appreciated the sentiment, the look in his father’s eye when he said it, one he probably thought he was covering so well, gutted him.

“Your father is a good man,” Charlotte says, giving Kurt’s hand a pat. “And from what I can see, he did a wonderful job raising you.”

“Thank you,” Kurt says, feeling way more at ease now than he did when this conversation started. “For what it’s worth, I think you guys did an amazing job as parents, too.”

Charlotte’s smile dips, wobbles at the corners, and Kurt wonders if he said something wrong. She sits back in the swing, turns her head slightly away. She gazes down the beach, the same way Sebastian does when he thinks about something sad, watching the water rush in to meet the shore, then out to join the waves. “Thank you, Kurt,” she says finally. “That does mean a lot.”

***

Julian’s demeanor has been changing in increments.

Kurt thinks he may be the only one who notices since he’s spent time alone with every member of the Smythe family and no one else has mentioned it. But Julian has become sullen.

Downright sulky.

He hasn’t gotten on Sebastian’s case recently half as much as when he got there, hasn’t flirted with Kurt in the past few days other than to tell him he looks good wearing his clothes (a black Henley Kurt thought was Sebastian’s, which had found itself in Sebastian’s room due to an unfortunate dry cleaning mishap).

The change started about the same time Kurt began to notice that the long phone conversations Julian had been having with Cooper - the ones that started in the family room or in the kitchen after dinner but eventually sent Julian outside searching for privacy - seemed to happen less and less, and with no estimated time of Cooper’s arrival in sight. Kurt reminds himself that Julian and Cooper’s relationship has always been a volatile one, so maybe this is just the way things go between them.

But it’s still heartbreaking.

Julian seemed so happy when he first arrived, first told them about Cooper spending the summer with him, and now ...

Kurt hopes that their flame hasn’t burned out so quickly, the way he feared his with Sebastian would, the thrill of the chase gone, the shine of the taboo beginning to take on a matte finish.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Julian says, catching Kurt off guard and staring as he makes his way up to their towels spread out on the beach. Kurt wasn’t staring at Julian, even though he’d been looking in the man’s direction. He was just staring, lost in his own thoughts. But he’ll never convince Julian of that. “Why don’t you take a picture? It lasts longer. In fact, I have a few I can text you, save you the trouble. They’re organized by various states of undress …”

“That’s a surefire way to end up with a broken screen,” Olivia says while Sebastian scoots his towel over, scoops up his boyfriend.

“Happen to have any of you in a Franciscan robe?” Kurt counters. “Maybe even a kaftan?”

Julian smirks, and even though it makes him look as handsome as ever, it doesn’t brighten his face, doesn’t reach his eyes. “You know, I might.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Olivia snickers, “so be careful what you ask for. Even if he does, nothing says it’ll be PG.”

“Speaking of, what are you two gentlemen doing tomorrow night?” he asks. “I mean, between the sex, sex, and more sex.”

“Have they been having a lot of sex?” Olivia asks offhandedly while she scrolls through her phone.

“As far as I can tell. I don’t know one hundred percent. They haven’t invited me to join in.”

“We don’t have any hard and fast plans,” Sebastian says, diverting the topic of conversation away from his and Kurt’s sex life. “Why do you ask? And before you say anything, threesomes are out.”

“Airiel Down is playing at Red Hat,” Julian says, reaching into the pocket of his shorts for his phone. “I got two tickets. I was going to take Cooper, but he hasn’t …” Julian’s voice waffles, goes minutely hoarse.

Olivia’s eyes dart his way.

No. That didn’t go unnoticed, Kurt thinks when her gaze shifts to Sebastian, and then Sebastian looks at Kurt. All three of them had heard the same thing.

“Anyway, anyway,” Julian says, pushing past it, “no reason for them to go to waste.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you could still go. Scalp the other ticket,” Sebastian suggests, but from the tone of his voice, it sounds like he’s asking another question entirely.

“I’m sure, little bro. No worries.” Julian chuckles, but it’s as dry as the sand they’re sitting on. They watch in silence as Julian types out a text and attaches the electronic tickets. A second later, Sebastian’s phone in his pocket beeps. “Your boyfriend here needs a night out, and exposure to some of our fine North Carolina culture.” Julian grins. For a moment, he’s closer to normal than he’s been in days. “Besides, you two need to give that beautiful ass of his a break.”

#acitw #acitw au #kurtbastian #sekurt

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jacklyn-flynn · 3 years

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This entry is particularly special to me! @charlatron co-authored this as a sequel to the fantastic fic she wrote me called Fire & Blood which you can read here. It involves her sex positive Olivia Trevelyan meeting my lovely, if not naive Warden Briall. They immediately hit it off and once Zevran arrives, all three get to know each other better.

I’ve written the third in the series for her Satinalia present and we’ll be posting that after this week so keep an eye out for more of our OT3, lemony goodness!

Hi Liv!

I so enjoyed spending that week with you! I’ve been talking about you nearly the whole trip home and I’m sure Zevran has had enough of it. I really wish you two could have gotten to know each other. I’m sure you would both get along swimmingly.

He did tell me something that I wanted to address. Honestly, it’s a large part of my decision to write to you before we got home. I have to apologize for my behavior. Zevran informed me that you were, in fact, hitting on me. Or rather, as he put it, you were giving me the “fuck-me eyes.” I truly hope that I never said or did anything to lead you on or make you uncomfortable!

I really enjoyed having another woman to talk to. I wasn’t really comfortable enough with Leliana to discuss relationship things and you were just so easy to talk to!

Again, I’m so sorry for my obliviousness. I’m afraid I’m still not really good at picking up things like that. I suppose I should have guessed when you talked about your experiences with other women. I’d never considered it before so I’m not sure what I would have done differently if I had noticed. Zev has brought up several ideas. I’m pretty sure he likes the idea of someone else joining us. I don’t know how I would feel about sharing my husband's affections with an incredibly beautiful woman who is far more experienced than I am!

But, it is fun to think about, isn’t it?

Curiously,

Briall

P.S. Zev absolutely loved that thing you suggested I do. Thank you!

My dear, sweet Briall,

I was so happy to receive your letter - a fact I had not expected to be true when we parted ways. I have not previously put much effort into maintaining acquaintances, and rarely dwell on the absence of a person’s company, but I feel as though I found a true friend in you. A kindred spirit, perhaps? It fills me with a certain kind of warmth I haven’t felt in an age to know that you speak of our time together with such fondness.

As for that extremely perceptive husband of yours, it seems he was able to deduce more in a few seconds than you did in almost an entire week; for I was, in fact, “hitting” on you. I have to admit, I had forgotten how it felt to have my “fuck-me eyes” fail quite so spectacularly, but for all my failed attempts it did at least mean I was able to cultivate something entirely different with you. Something rare and wonderful.

You are a remarkable woman Briall, inside and out, and I apologize if this admission of my initial intentions makes you feel at all uncomfortable.

There is something I feel I should tell you, however. Upon reading your words “But, it is fun to think about isn’t it” I remembered a dream I had, that last night we spent together.

Oh, who am I trying to fool? I did not just remember... I think of it often. I would say I’m sure you can imagine what kind of dream I am alluding to, but let us be honest, your track record for understanding these things is not the greatest (I am laughing as I write this).

I’m talking about sex, Briall. You, me, and that ridiculously pretty husband of yours doing the most wondrously filthy things to each other, and when I woke up… well, I haven’t been that disappointed in a very long while.

So, in answer to your question: yes; it really is fun to think about.

I do sincerely hope you’ll write me back, though understand if the contents of this letter dissuade you from doing so.

Hopefully,

Olivia

P.S. Empowering, isn’t it?

Dearest Olivia,

Your letter certainly didn’t make me uncomfortable! I was rather expecting something along those lines, now that I have been educated in all of the things that I missed during our time together. Perhaps a bit embarrassed, but not uncomfortable.

I was far more embarrassed when my ridiculously pretty husband saw me furiously blushing over your letter. I didn’t plan on disclosing our private correspondence but as you can imagine Zevran is very persuasive.

Now that I know your erotic intentions I find myself thinking about them and what I might have done differently. A lot. Certainly, nothing would have happened without Zevran's approval but, unsurprisingly he has given permission without even having to ask!

Zevran is a very skilled man (and I mean very) but there is something appealing about being pleasured and pleasuring someone who knows exactly how it feels. Which is to say, I would absolutely need lessons but I'm positive I would have at least two volunteers for tutilage. I am a very quick and motivated learner.

My experience is extremely limited, and I've often wondered what might have happened had I not met or committed myself to my gorgeous Antivan.

Perhaps sometime in the future, I might find out?

Curiously,

Briall

Dearest Briall,

I am glad to hear that my confession did not elicit any negative feelings - and even more so to learn that such delightful curiosity might even be encouraged by your amore. Clearly, he is far more secure with your relationship than most spouses tend to be.

Genuinely I am uncertain if you intended for your last letter to tease me so, but, for the purpose of my reply, I have decided to assume you do in fact know exactly how such words would have been received.

One thing I am certain of however is that you would indeed be a very fast and extremely thorough learner - and I would very much enjoy the opportunity to assist in providing such intimate education.

Amongst other things - namely how sweet your cunt tastes when brought to climax - I do find myself wondering exactly how open-minded this seemingly perfect husband of yours is.

And... on a completely unrelated note, I have had to alter the course of my travels and will soon be arriving in Denerim. I’ll be staying at the gnawed noble for a week or so... should that be of any interest to you?

Patiently yours,

Olivia

Dear Olivia,

I apologize for the delay in the delivery of this letter. It had nothing to do with your previous correspondence though I’m sure you must have thought so! As it turns out, Zevran and I are on our way to Denerim as well to visit our dear friend, Alistair. We happened to get caught in a large storm and I didn’t dare send the poor raven out in it. By the time you get this letter, we should be only a few days from the city.

Zevran is excited to meet you properly and I am ecstatic at being able to see you again! (Assuming you don’t mind his company. We’re rather a package deal.) We will have so much to catch up on and so many new things to discuss.

I would definitely not be interested in staying at the Gnawed Noble. I have less than fond memories of that place. As such, I’ve written ahead to the staff and requested one of the Orlesian suites in the palace. In typical Orlesian fashion, the beds are nearly twice as large as normal in that wing. If you would be interested in spending the latter part of your trip with me and Zevran in our suite at the palace, we would be glad to have you.

Because I can be less than clear I want to state, in writing, that I am inviting you to share said bed with us. Preferably naked most of the time, with very little actual sleep going on. I’m so nervous my hand is shaking as I write this! All of the possibilities running through my head are absolutely thrilling.

Despite my jitters, you can rest assured that I am excited and very sure of this little adventure! Zevran is as well, regardless if he is just an observer or participant. (I can promise that you would very much enjoy and benefit from his participation.)

Until we arrive, you have full use of the suite should you like to use it. Just mention my name and they’ll set you up with the lodging, including all of the palace’s amenities and all of the food and drink you can stand.

Affectionately and excitedly,

Bri

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