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keeksandgigz · 14 days ago

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poison in the water

chapter 1 of the shadow of the carrion

pairing: post outbreak! joel miller x reader

carrion: noun A dead body; a corpse or carcass. or Anything vile or corrupt.

summary: September 23, 2013- after a fight with your mom, you come across the strange sight of a twitching man, and that same night, all hell breaks loose. four years later, you begin your journey west with your mother and sister. after an ambush by a pack of hunters, you're saved by the least likely person to want to save you.

content: 18+ mdni always!! this is game joel, canon- compliant violence, pre- canon, hunter!joel & tommy, swearing, a lot of exposition for this chapter, a whole bucketload of angst and my usual penchant for drawn on descriptions [3.5k words]

the carrion masterlist | the carrion playlist

divider by @saradika-graphics

For as long as you could remember, you’d found death everywhere you went. In your tender ages— the garbles of fur, feathers, and blood. Birds, raccoons, possums, cats, marred creatures on the asphalt that you couldn’t seem to peel your eyes off of on the way and back to school. Their organs spilled on the hot pavement, fur swaying with the wind of the passing cars. You’d look at them, with intrigue, disgust, pity, waiting for the animal to become another unidentifiable dark shadow on the road within the span of a week, its meat and bones absorbed by the unforgiving earth.

And then, like a dark curse that seemed to haunt you, it hit your family next. It prepotently infiltrated itself in the ties you had with your grandmother— your last living, anyway, the only one you’d ever known— as her Memphis home engulfed itself in flames, and took her with it. There was no body to see, this time. No bones, or blood to fixate over. Just a gray urn looming over you on the mantle of your family home.

You’d feel her speak to you at times, absentmindedly, behind the background static of the TV, calling your name, slithering in your ears. And you’d turn, of course you did, recognizing your grandmother’s creaky voice, and when you’d told your mother, she’d laugh and brush it off. You’d always been just a kid. A kid with a vivid imagination.

That same galloping imagination had gotten you a full ride scholarship to a prestigious writing program, and it was so close you could almost reach out and it. Your first taste of freedom from your family. Your overbearing mother, the woman who was always supposed to be in your corner, seemed to be on the opposite end of it, with her biting words ready to lash at you. Engulfed by the cowardice of your father, who never seemed to be able to stand up for you against the green-eyed monster that lived inside of your mother, and just stoically stood in a corner. A stifling environment where you most often felt made of glass, ever since your sister was born, if not for the underhanded critiques, without a single kind word ever directed towards you.

Your classes were supposed to start the following week, and all your suitcases were laid neatly next to your door, like a golden ticket to freedom, and your mother couldn’t hold back from being especially venomous to you during that week. So you left, just to clear your mind for a bit. You couldn’t believe those were your last days with your family, and your mother had decided to spend them screaming at you. It was supposed to be a short walk around the neighborhood, just to cool down, just to let your mother’s We’ll all be so much happier once you’re gone bounce around the walls of your mind, warbling her words in repetition, just to let it lose its stinging meaning. A noise interrupted you– a man.

The unnatural movement of his body, his heaving, irregular breaths. His hands and neck twitched with a clicking sound, almost as if it were involuntary. Poor man. Pity almost compelled you to reach out, but then he slowly turned, and the words “are you okay?” died in your throat. The man’s eyes were void, mindlessly looking at the ground as his body bent unnaturally to throw up on the concrete. He hadn’t noticed you, it was a good enough time to head back without attracting his attention, but what gripped yours was the maroon stain on the man’s mouth. Dripping down on the floor along with his bile– blood? Only then you noticed another body, limply laying on the grass, the body of a woman, whose unnatural position allowed you to see the blood oozing from the bite marks on her neck, like the skin had been lacerated. You felt yourself grow sick, hiding behind a wall of vines as you tried to sneak away from the scene in a nearby alley, after which you ran home until your lungs burned, and your eyes were misty with tears. Your own bile on your front lawn, confused and terrified as your chest heaved with difficulty.

“Hope you’re ready to come inside and apologize” you distantly heard your mother’s stern tone from the front door, but there was something gripping you, right by the throat, that compelled you to stay on the grass. Your mother would not have believed you.

That night you went to sleep without eating, then, the same shadow of death that had followed you since you were little, engulfed your whole life.

You were woken up by the sound of alarms, and your mother shaking you awake. Her alarmed tone still haunts you, she called you honey, something she hadn’t done since you were sixteen. We’ve got to go, hurry, honey. Even after everything, that sentence echoed and warbled itself in your nightmares as you were rushed out of bed and out of your home. That’s all you remember doing that night: running.

***

You’d lost your father within the initial pandemonium of the outbreak– ten days after, to be exact. You and your family snuck into a nearby wine cellar, next to a house on the hills. Scavenging food with your father, not straying too far from your hiding place– those things hadn’t cleared out of the city just yet. Your father had managed to find a radio that stayed on at all hours of the day, covering the helpless cries of those twitching bodies outside. Had a couple close calls, as one of them managed to venture out to the hills. You’d heard his sobs as he regretfully threw up, lamented a garbled I don’t want to do this, followed by an unnatural snarl as his bile slithered down the cracks of the wooden beams of the roof. You’d trembled in fear in the opposite corner, held by your mother’s arms, as she hugged your sister, unmoving, wondering if by an insane stroke of misfortune that thing could have been able to open the heavy doors to the cellar.

Then, one day your father went off to gather, by himself, and a gunshot in the distance of the sparse forest up ahead was all you needed to hear to know what had happened.

No limbs flailing in the dark of night as he ran away from a possible horde, no heroic death. Just the hollow boom of his small revolver, and a head full of questions that haunted you for weeks and months, as you waited for the area to clear, and you’d found what was left of his skeleton in the forest where you’d used to go with him to scavenge. Picking up what was left of his skull, you clearly saw the fissure in the muddied bone, right on top of his head. You’d found his revolver right next to his bones, which he briefly taught you how to shoot in those ten days you’d been with him, carefully placing the safe and tucking it into your backpack. Your father had always been a coward, anyway.

Within the span of four years, your resources waned, food became scarce, and the wine cellar became too small a place for your mother and sister, as the former drank away her grief. With each of her heavy sobs, you lived in fear of those ‘infected,’ that was what they had called them over the radio, hearing her from a distance, and having to watch her heaving body get torn apart by a pack of them. Your sister was still young, she couldn’t possibly have been able to contribute, so the responsibility fell on your shoulders.

So you left Memphis in the Summer of 2017, the only home you’d ever known, to venture East. Your mother had heard about a rebel group, the Fireflies, looking for a cure. It’s been years since they grouped, they sure ‘s hell got a cure by now, your mother muttered as she packed her bag and swaddled your sister, who was four and could barely walk, on her aching back. You took turns carrying her, hearing pained hisses behind you by the hour. You’d try to keep to the forests, as the infected had not traveled there, yet, and as long as you stayed outside the city, things had been relatively safe.

Regardless, your father’s revolver burned against your back, forcing itself to be felt, as a testimony of the duty you had to your family, to keep them alive, despite the cowardice he’d ended his own life with— without explanation.

When the forests began to become sparser and sparser, you’d had no choice but to venture into the cities. You’d reached Cincinnati without so much as a scratch, just debilitating back pains from carrying your sister, and an insatiable hunger for rest. You’d heard that most of the QZ’s had fallen in the hands of the Fireflies, the closest being Pittsburgh, which, according to the fading map you kept in your back pocket, was going to be another day’s travel. For the first time in a while you felt optimistic about your plan working, you’d almost gotten your mother and sister so close to safety, so close to living a decently peaceful life.

If only it hadn’t been for the bullet that perforated your mother’s back and lodged itself in your sister’s stomach.

***

Joel hated the summer. How sticky his clothes felt against his skin, how every sunbeam on his aging skin felt like Sarah again. It reminded him of pools, soccer games, and a lazy beer on his porch as the sun went down– things that had been gone for a long time.

He found respite in the shade of the abandoned building he’d set up camp at with his crew. He exhaustingly got up from his dingy makeshift cot with a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead, he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in almost half a decade. There was a soft breeze treading through the skeletal desolation of what used to be downtown, providing relief from the damp fabric on his back. It was the third or fourth city in the span of five months. Five months of traveling up and down the Midwest– hunter group after hunter group, riding with the same shameful, guilt-ridden monkey on his aching back, while Tommy talked his ear off about quitting all this senseless killing.

“Just a few months more, then we’ll quit. We’ll kick these assholes to the curb and start goin’ East. We’ll go somewhere nice.” Joel said, exactly five months before.

And yet, there he was. Killing more people for a few scraps of extra clothes and food. He couldn’t. Not when he knew leaving meant certain death, and, had they made it out, even sparser meals than what he’d gotten used to.

On a lucky day, where clueless tourists would trek through the ruined remains of what once was the QZ, he was able to rack up enough provisions to keep him and Tommy afloat for a couple weeks. Yet, big groups were sparse, and the greed of his fellow hunters was as devastating as their violence. Gathered around the cadavers like starving vultures, picking apart their backpacks, tearing clothes and shoes off of the still-warm bodies, laughing maniacally at their senseless violence. He hated the sadistical nature of it all.

He’d woken up because of gunshots that morning, which always left him hopeful for some good loot to bring back to Tommy. Only it wasn’t like that this time.

Tommy was already there, wordlessly standing on the curb, staring at the scene ahead. A girl. The side of her head and arms streaked with blood as she held the body of an older woman in her arms, and upon closer inspection there was also a little girl swaddled to her chest. That made Joel’s stomach churn a bit, as he stared at the last girl standing. She was surrounded by his whole crew, laughing and taunting her. Out of his good ear he’d managed to hear the word mom muttered just once. Her eyes went wide, as she stared ahead, taking stock of what animal could have possibly done that to an innocent mother and her little girl. Monsters like him, that’s who. His crew liked to do that— leave the last person standing, look at them cry, keep them alive for a few days to truly let them metabolize that there was no way out of it. Except, many of them tried to put up a fight, brandishing whatever small guns they’d carried with them– they had no chance. But the girl, after the initial shock, just stared straight ahead, holding on to her mother’s body, frozen.

Joel wasn’t a merciful guy, not when the world ripped out his right from his hands, but the way you’d stared straight ahead like a deer in headlights painfully reminded him of how he’d felt the night Sarah died. He often wondered, in the dead of night, as much as he’d hated dwelling on it, where he would’ve ended up had she lived. The two of them and Tommy would’ve escaped to some quiet, small town– one of those that had been completely evacuated the first two weeks after the outbreak– and lived off the land. He enjoyed burying his grief in the bullets and blades he used to harm others, as much as he hated to admit it– he had to keep Tommy alive, after all.

Joel wasn’t a merciful guy, not by a long shot, but something about the way you looked so utterly paralyzed, holding your own mother, made his chest tighten the slightest bit.

“Get Miller to finish the job” one of the men barked, amused. Joel rolled his eyes as the rest of the crew diverted their gazes to him and his brother, and your gaze turned ever so slightly to their direction. He could see your eyes now– two fissures pleading for what could have been two things: to let you survive or to let you join your family. The more he looked at you, the more his throat closed in on itself, so he stepped forward.

“Not you, your pussy brother!” another man laughed, and the rest followed. He could see Tommy blanch under the thunderous laughs of his crew. He couldn’t have done it.

“He won’t do it,” Joel started, trying to buy himself some time. “He’s sweet on girls, aren’t you, Tommy?” he snickered, disgusted at himself for even uttering those words, as he pushed his brother aside, heading to your paralyzed figure.

“He’s gonna do it. Y’know why?” the man who proposed the idea croaked with a slice of a smile. Joel knew why. “Because we’ll kill you both if he doesn’t” the man snickered. He saw your body rise and fall in a quick gasp. You also knew that there was no way out of this.

Joel produced a gun from the back of his ratty jeans and placed it in Tommy’s hand. “Be ready” he muttered, hoping his brother understood the hint, and pushing him closer to you.

You could feel the terrifying anticipation crawling up your bloodied arms still holding your mother’s chilling body.

Please kill me. I’ve got nothing to lose.

The man named Tommy tentatively steps towards you. You can see it in his eyes, he doesn’t want to do it. Your eyes are veiled and misted with tears, tears that you won’t let fall. Not in front of these men.

Don’t kill me just yet– I’ve gotta go East, for my Mama.

Your bones truly feel like ice.

Why can’t I move? Stand up.

Tommy is in front of you, and his arm is pointing the gun at you.

You’ve got a gun. Shoot ‘em.

He’s so close you can see down the barrel, you can see his finger hug the trigger. The last thing you see before you close your eyes is your murderer’s eyes full of tears, then the gun goes off.

But it’s not at you.

***

There’s a deafening silence for a moment. Then another gunshot, then another, then the crowd of men surrounding you grows rowdy and restless. The man who was with Tommy lifts you up, and your legs feel like there’s a million ants crawling under the soiled flesh of your skin.

“You got a gun?” the man yells through the shots. All you do is nod, everything is too loud. “Can you shoot?” Another nod, then he turns around to deliver two head shots. You count three more men standing. “Grab your shit, we gotta run” he commands, and your legs move faster than your brain does.

“They got a truck out back!” Tommy yells, turning around to shoot at the leg of one of your attackers. You hear the bone crack, and for some reason it deafens you.

There’s a strange feeling clouding your mind. It wants you to stop, it wants you to sit down, it wants you to be taken by the men chasing you, to be shot, to join your mother and sister whose limp bodies were becoming to grow smaller the further you ran. What would they have done with them?

“Faster!” you heard one of the two men yell, but everything felt muffled, even the gunshots and screams of the crowd of the three hunters trailing behind you. “‘S close, right behind here” one of them gruffed, as your lungs burned with exertion and the abysmal portions of food you’ve had for the past few months.

“C’mon girl, up” Tommy’s brother said, grabbing your back with his arm to toss you across his body. There was a blindness to what was going on, like your brain was stuck to a few minutes before everyone else’s. That despite the yells and screams of your chasers and the gunshots, everything seemed to be happening from a distance, to everyone else, but not to you. Only when you reached a rickety brown truck you’d realized the man was carrying you– he had to have seen you struggle, and Joel knew the empty stare in your eyes all too well. He hauled you in without many ceremonies as Tommy climbed into the driver’s seat, and he hopped in right next to you with a string of go, go, go, furiously hitting the back of the passenger seat. There was a thick sheen of sweat on the man’s scarred temple as everything moved in slow motion. The rumble of the truck’s motor right under your body, the stray gunshots from the massacre’s survivors.

“Won’t be long ‘til the others reach us, hurry up, Tommy” the man urged, as the car finally went into motion, and for a second you fell back into your body.

“‘M goin’ as fast as I can, Joel” Tommy retorted, his tone just as alarmed as his brother’s. It had been a while since you’d been in a car, you observed, staring at the dilapidated buildings blurring outside the window.

Once you were out of the city, Joel scooted himself in the middle, and climbed over the console to sit in the passenger seat.

“What’s your name?” he asked, in a stern tone, which, regardless, seemed to be much gentler than how he’d yelled at you to get a move on an hour earlier, but it seemed that as hard as you tried, your mouth couldn’t produce a sound. It physically burned your throat to force it.

His eyebrows contorted in concern, for a brief moment, then, like lightning, his expression hardened. That was the man you’d seen when the hunters killed your mom and sister.

“Joel, leave her alone” Tommy interjected, and you were briefly grateful for his meddling– you didn’t want to talk to anyone. How was it that you were able to get out of what had happened alive, yet your mom and your sister’s bodies laid cold on the dirty concrete in a random city. They wouldn’t have received a proper burial, like your dad. There was no family for you to go back to. Nowhere to go but wherever that damn truck took you. Would they have burned the bodies? What would Joel and Tommy have wanted with you? You saw yourself tossed on the side of the highway, wandering aimlessly, until a pack of infected would have come and ripped you apart. That was the ending you deserved, for being alive instead of a four year old girl.

Your lip began to tremble, and your throat closed up for good, and in the midst of your silenced sobs you heard a muffled She can fuckin’ stay quiet the whole ride. See if I care. This need to save every wounded bird that comes your way is gonna get you killed, Tommy.

See if I care.

If only somebody would have cared.

thanks for reading! feedback, comments & reblogs are so appreciated <3

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #game joel #the last of us fic #the last of us #tlou #tommy miller #{my writing}#joel miller series #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel tlou

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t-the-ring-master · 8 months ago

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This will be made as a male reader mostly because I feel like there isn’t enough with female characters and I just want dad character to Brightbill. However, feel free to imagine it as however you like, they are robots so not much happening in that area, so do what you like. And please make sure to salt your purple next time, gives it flavor.

If anyone wishes to be tagged in any future The wild robot posts or anything else, please comment, ask through ask box or just message me!

Imma try and ask C if she can draw T as a Rozzum one of these days. I also wrote this over like an hour. My face hurts so not as long as I wanted it to be but oh well. Hope you enjoy!

I also just added the last part for fun. Also if someone wants to request a continuation of this.

TW: none? No use of Y/N, I use (Name). Mentions of mates and partners I guess? Everyone ships you with Roz I guess.

Request: circus anon

Requests: open

Taglist: @cs-cabin-and-crew @the-lavender-clown

❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦

Roz x Robot!reader

You had crash landed in the woods. Your metal package and your transmitter to contact your built site had been damaged as well.

So you decided to try and find the person whom had ordered you.

Yeah that didn’t go well.

You had been kicked, attacked, chased and more within just the span of 6 hours before giving up and sitting in learning mode to fix the language barrier you’ve found yourself trapped in.

Due to being in learning mode, you hadn’t been paying enough attention to your surroundings, causing you not to notice the Rozzum unit analyzing you.

Fink: what is it Roz?

Roz: it seems to be a Rozzum unit, but I cannot tell the number nor model.

Yeah you scared them when you came out of your learning mode.

(Name): hello! I am the new and improved (Name) Unit: 0001. I am a one of a kind prototype! Here for any needs or demands!

Fink: I’m getting flashbacks.

Roz lead you to her, Bightbill and Finks home. She hadn’t ever seen your model before, so she excitedly asked you questions.

Roz: I’ve never seen your make or model. What are you designed for?

(Name): I am designed for many things. Cooking, shopping, manual labor, heavy lifting, childcare-

Roz: child care?

(Name): indeed, is this something that interests-

Roz: I have a kid.

(Name):…. Alright.

She proceeded to bombard you with questions on what your childcare program provided, which as per your programming, complied.

When you arrived to the home of the Rozzum, she led you inside and began showing you baby pictures of her “kid”

(Name): this is your child?

Roz: yes, he is called Brightbill.

(Name):…. He has your eyes.

You ended up staying with Roz, Fink, and eventually Brightbill when we returned for the spring.

It took a lot of getting used to the fact that you could no longer follow protocol here. But at least some of your programming helped you and the others a bit.

Such as you being more stronger than the Rozzum, as well as having better and hardier equipment than the other models. Fink definitely appreciated your heating mode (which is often used in your caregiver function to help a baby fall asleep) during the harsh winter…. And so did many of the other animals.

Pink tail likes you, since you watch her kids when she needs a break.

Pink tail: you found a good mate Roz. Possums aren’t so lucky when it comes to that.

Roz: what do you mean?

Pink tail: some of us don’t have life mates. (Name) seems to be a pretty good parent though.

Roz: Mate?

Que Roz studying “mate’ and “partner” which rabbit holed her down into “Spouse” and so on.

Fink ships it.

Brightbill ships it.

Pink tail…. You guessed it. Ships it.

Que all the animals trying to keep you two together.

Pink tail: Hey, Roz. (Name) is looking for you!

Fink: hey (Name) I think Roz wants to ask you more questions about your programs. I think she’s at the beach.

Brightbill: hey mom, (Name) wanted me to tell you he’s at the beach.

And so on.

Yeah you both confused by it all.

Eventually you two do end up spending some time together. Actually it was where Roz first met Pink Tail. You were busy analyzing some of the plants around you (as per your programming to search plants in case they have useful properties or are dangerous) while Roz sat there observing.

You two had a good time…. Ignoring the fact that a certain Fox and goose were stalking the two of you.

A couple weeks later, Brightbill let it slip and called you dad. You didn’t mind.

At this point you’ve become just as much as a wild robot as Roz has. And we’re very useful to your new family as you were able to repair minor things for yourself and Roz, which made it easier during winter.

You now also have your own picture with the rest of the family.

The other animals like you, you just kinda have a reputation of being more aloof and less soft compared to Roz.

Unless it’s the young… you are shockingly good with young. (As if you weren’t programmed to take care of them-)

The next winter, you had found an egg and brought it home.

Roz: here we go again.

Brightbill:…. Well I was upset at not having siblings-

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musingsofahistorymajor · 3 months ago

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As of yesterday I have officially been at my job for a whole year!! Woo!!

In honor of this milestone I thought I'd share some fun things from my job at the natural history museum that I've encountered:

Singing the Oscar Meyer jingle for a large group of people because the astronomer has a song about Isaac Newton that goes to that tune but they couldn't remember how the original went. So I ended up singing it myself for them. Twice. From across the hall.

New job title: Dinosaur Handler. We have an puppet/animatronic Dinosaur that we have use during special events and I was trained on how to be a handler for it. AKA make sure the person inside the puppet doesn't walk into a wall and that the public doesn't punch it in the butt.

Met so many fun animal ambassadors from the Wildlife Center like the albino raccoon and the porcupine who both paints and dances and cute turtles and a pack of coyotes and a possum named Tumble

The coyotes all start to howl whenever sirens pass by the museum

I learn so much fun space things from our astronomers just by eavesdropping on their programs. I'm starting to get pretty good at recognizing constellations! Did you know there is a dachshund constellation?

Got yelled at by a guy who said he worked on the skeletal structures of some of our taxidermy animals and he wanted to see them but those are currently being placed inside our new galleries which were still a construction zone at the time and not open to the public yet. He had no appointment. He got furious when we told him he couldn't go in. We had to call the cops on him.

Total Solar Eclipse party in the square. Was SUCH a blast. I had so much fun and the eclipse was INSANE. Won't forget that any time soon.

Giving directions is never boring when you get to say things like "make a right at the sauropod" and "head towards the gems case" and "the bathrooms are near the moon rock".

Having to tell a guest that came in dressed like he just walked out of Game of Thrones, cloak and all, that he couldn't bring his sword in the building, he'd have to leave it in his car.

Being able to take time to sketch the skulls in the display cases around me when it's slow at work is wonderful

I'm already tired of answering the question "is that (insert specimen here) real?" When the plaque next to it says if it is a cast or replica or not

Got asked if that staircase went upstairs.....Where else would it go?

The phone call asking me if he can talk to a paleontologist about "the new species of dinosaur" he found in his backyard. Guys he found a deer skeleton.

The cheeseburger scavenger hunt!

We were given pride lanyards and pins by upper management for pride month and nothing made me feel more safe and happy about where I've chosen to work. The whole staff is full of lbgtq+ people and I love that this museum recognizes it. I had many patrons during Pride Month recognize my lanyard and the line and either flat out say that love it or give me a very knowing smile and visibly relax. Yes, you are safe here!

During the eclipse week I had a lady tell me she was worried because she thought the occultists would use the eclipse to open a portal and unleash hell. Looking at the state of the country now, maybe she was onto something 🤔

Watching creationists in the evolutionary exhibits is....something else.

Little kids and dinosaurs. I love it. They're so cute when they walk in and see the giant haplocanthosaurus greeting them.

One kid called it a "broccli-saurus" 🥦 🦕

The one kid who walked around to each specimen and went "WHOA!" at each one.

The little boy who came up to me and shyly asked if things come to life at night. His mom behind him look like she's trying not to laugh. I leaned down to his height and said in a very conspiratorially voice told him that actually yes and we all play fetch with Balto after work and Happy tells us all goodbye when we leave for the day. He was so excited he ran to his sister and told her "THEY ALL COME TO LIFE AT NIGHT!" It was so adorable.

The little girl who made a kitty cat (her words) at our origami activity station and then went around the whole museum showing every. Started with me, then the stranger behind me, then the taxidermy bald eagle on display, then the giant dinosaur, then my coworker down the hall. It was adorable.

People asking me where a certain specimen is and they are standing right in front of it.

My coworkers are releasing a paper in the next couple of months and I know what it's on and I'm very very excited to read it because even though I know the subject matter they can't tell me the conclusions but I want to know! IT'S VERY EXCITING! I'm excited about their conclusions and I'm excited that they are getting to publish a paper on it!! It's awesome!

Had a guy and his wife leave the museum after an hour and as he left he shouted at me "Any more blood, sweat or DNA you guys need for me to see the things my tax dollars pay for!?" I thought he was joking cause what a ridiculous statement but he was dead serious and left the building telling everyone on his way out how much we charge for everything.

One of my new coworkers who is in charge of all media in the museum used to work on Blues Clues and STEVE VISITED THE MUSEUM WHILE I WAS WORKING!! We were all more excited about his visit than a very famous local sports player who visited like a month earlier. I watched grown ass adults come running downstairs giggling and asking "did he come by here? Where's Steve?" It was amazing.

Every parent who encourages their littles ones to ask me their questions always make my day. Yes little one I would be so happy to answer your question! I had one little girl who was terrified to ask me but her mom was so great with her and I did my best to be as non threatening as possible and we were patient and the little girl came up and asked me if she could have a second hand stamp. To which I was enthusiastically said yes and she was so happy and her mom was so proud of her. It made my day. I've had lots of other kids after that but she'll always stick in my memory

That time I dropped an entire stack of attached blank tickets and it tumbled to the ground in a heap and several patrons came over to help me gather them up. That was so nice of them.

It's surprisingly hard to explain what a planetarium is to someone who has never heard of a planetarium.

And so much more. I honestly really love this job. It's been a blast so far. It's not perfect and I get frustrated with some problems that the whole museum field has but working in a museum is never boring and this is the first place I've worked where I truly see a future for myself. I have options and hope that I can move up into the collections department some day. Hell, two collections managers heard about my experience and degrees and told me they want me to come downstairs when they are accepting volunteers or hiring again.

#mod post #working gal #museums #museum life #natural history museum #museum work

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oldshowbiz · 7 months ago

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Steve Smith based The Red Green Show and the Possum Lodge on The Red Fisher Show and Scuttlebutt Lodge.

The Canadian fishing program was produced by Glen Warren Productions and ran from approximately 1968 until 1982.

Red Green's sidekick was his idiot nephew Harold. Red Fisher's sidekick was his idiot nephew Greg.

John Candy also parodied Red Fisher as Gil Fisher, the Fishin' Musician. In the SCTV parody, Scuttlebutt Lodge kept its name.

#red fisher #regional television #chch #hamilton #ontario #canada #canadian #red green #steve smith #history of canadian comedy #john candy #sctv

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freddie-77-ao3 · 1 year ago

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an incomplete list of camp antics that lee fletcher put up with during his time as counselor/camp dad

malcolm. that's it. malcolm as a whole. that boy is so fucked up he's his own bullet point.

the fourth of july where cecil, lou ellen, and will raised the dead, and started a plague (that spread through the ones they'd necromanced)

the christmas where cecil, lou ellen, and will set hermes cabin on fire to win extreme cabin decorating

the four times michael climbed him like a tree so that clarisse couldn't reach him

the pair of wolves connor and malcolm brought home (and camp then adopted)

katie selling weed at camp

katie selling weed to gods

katie selling weed to mortals

travis' addiction to caffeine (10 espresso shots a day, plus a caffeine pill, plus four cups of black tea)

travis' caffeine WITHDRAWAL that one time cecil and lou ellen hid it on april fools day

drew tanaka inventing a gene editing program to make a giant fuzzy catapillar (so that she could ride it into battle)

the three week period that connor insisted on wearing four inch heels and a rainbow pride flag as a dress because sherman used gay as an insult

will trying to kick michael out of the cabin so they could have a cat (and michael's subsequent supportance of the action)

lou ellen experimenting with magic and turning katie into a lion

lou ellen experimenting with magic and permanently changing her hair color (on accident)

the time drew turned in a book report on connor's diary and lee, as the head counselor for winter session, had to read and GRADE it

the time annabeth and percy got into a fist fight over the correct definition of hamburger, and whether percy could play it in scrabble

travis eating katie's lip balm and getting sick

travis eating another tube of katie's lip balm and getting sick (again)

every time michael and jake babysat harley

the time cecil tried to learn the lyre

the time lou ellen and will learned how to break lyres (in 18 different ways)

katie pranking travis by making corn mazes grow around him randomly for two months straight (the amount of corn lee then had to eat was infuriating)

the winter sessions where drew, connor, and malcolm were counselors (and subsequently hijacked every counsel meeting with insane bullshit)

the two month period malcolm and drew became new york vigilantes

the following four month period malcolm and drew convinced connor to become a new york vigilante WITH them

lou ellen and will knowing cecil was in prison for three days before bailing him out (has happened at least four times)

michael lighting clarisse on fire

the possum memes cecil spends hours making on the infirmary computer going viral and chiron questioning lee for an hour and a half on whether lee thinks there's a leak at camp because memes in the mortal world are dangerous apparently?

the time malcolm macheted through a bunch of stacks of paperwork because of connor's typo

the time drew convinced connor eggs weren't real when they were six

the time drew convinced connor eggs weren't real when they were twelve

malcolm got hit by a taco truck and drew proceeded to buy tacos from the same truck

cecil drinking shampoo because tsa told him it wasn't allowed on the plane

cecil drinking shampoo because he liked the taste

cecil getting his stomach pumped because he drank four bottles of shampoo in a day

travis and malcolm getting married in vegas during a mission

cecil drinking glowstick juice

cecil learning that drinking glowstick juice is bad and swallowing a glowstick whole

the time lou ellen, cecil, will, connor, and drew left malcolm in chicago for a week before remembering and malcolm just bought himself an apartment and didn't want to leave???

clovis convincing all the campers that every child of hypnos is narcoleptic and he needs to sleep ALL THE TIME (he does not. some do. clovis isn't one of them)

cecil, will, and lou ellen setting the big house on fire for lee's birthday party. it uh. it wasn't even his birthday.

the month where travis decided that jellybeans had a high enough fruit concentrate that he didn't need to eat any actual fruit or vegetables

connor dubbing a depression corner and making malcolm sit in it when malcolm said things about his childhood (or life in general)

malcolm eating scrambled eggs despite being allergic and breaking out into hives every time

drew drowning malcolm (he lived dw)

malcolm lighting the microwave on fire

drew and malcolm convincing connor to snort smarties with them to see if they had different flavors

lou ellen, cecil, and will burning down three cabins with a flamethrower (to see if they could)

cecil eating dirt (multiple times)

every time malcolm dislocates his joints to prove points. it happens a lot.

the tunnel systems that connor and malcolm found and started living out of (actually lee's not too mad at that one because they found actual rooms and now some of the year round campers have like. bedrooms. underground tunnel bedrooms, but bedrooms nonetheless)

malcolm making a game out of is it asthma or a panic attack

drew making a scoreboard out of malcolm's game is it asthma or a panic attack

cecil making cookies until he was happy. it didn't happen. he made 479 cookies before anyone stopped him.

Austin complaining about how his severe third degree burns from the lava wall meant he couldn't post a youtube video one week

michael doesn't believe in raspberries. nothing lee does convinced him.

malcolm and lou ellen messing around with magic and both getting turned into babies.

babified malcolm almost getting blended because travis didn't know it was the chili dog to be blended, not the kid

will's emo phase where he insists lee sing welcome to the black parade at campfire every night

clarisse thought the tooth fairy stole your teeth. for. a good four years.

connor tried to ask malcolm on a date and just asking ended so badly that athena cabin burned down

michael doesn't think penguins exist

lou ellen, cecil, and will's magic trick that burned percy's eyebrows off for two weeks

instead of making the connection that malcolm has a crush on connor, malcolm thinks connor cursed him???

cecil eats orange peels. he's allergic to oranges.

connor drew and malcolm start several cults in the mortal world. one is about a god of teeth. they have followers.

every time a new camper arrived for a solid two months, drew would say want to hear a gay joke and connor would emerge from a closet (that drew shoved them in)

travis drank vinegar because he didn't want to go get water

travis drank oil because he didn't want to go get water

thalia told someone to not run down the stairs. they jumped out the window instead.

clarisse destroyed 24 ping pong tables while lee was alive. 37 overall.

Miranda bought a parenting book, and then highlighted it and added names according to the issues everyone had

travis used the rim of a gatorade bottle as a monocle for three weeks straight

At camp counsellor meetings, Malcolm sits in Connor’s lap to ‘save space’

cecil tried to teach lou ellen to cook. she blew up three ovens.

#pjo hoo toa #pjo #riordanverse #pjo series #pjo fandom #lee fletcher #chb #camp half blood

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sitting-on-me-bum · 2 months ago

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The mountain pygmy-possum (Burramys parvus) bunkering down for hibernation, was one of the first native Australian mammal to have its hormones investigated, which ultimately sparked the new program.

Image credit: Rick Hammond/Zoos Victoria

#rick hammond #photographer #zoos victoria #mountain pygmy-possum #possum #burramys parvus #australia #australian geographic #animal #mammal #wildlife #nature

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tanukibby · 1 year ago

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Ifit, Zephyr, and Special are in a closed polyamorous relationship.

Ifrit and special somehow find most of the kits that are in the Ghoul ReturnProgram. They often go on long walks and just randomly find them.

Special (being quint and fire) has a pouch and just scoops up the babies and stuff them in there. Ifrit packs them onto his back like a possum.

They get attached and want to keep the babies, but they know that those kits probably have families... and Zephyr won't let them.

Zephyr is the only one of the pack that helps out in the program, special is forbidden, and Ifrit has other responsibilities.

#the band ghost #nameless ghouls #ghost band #ghost bc #ghost #headcanon #nameless ghoul #ifrit ghoul #zephyr ghoul #special ghoul #Ghoul Return Program

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redraven393 · 8 months ago

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watching The Wild Robot Let's gooo

sun is shining and girly is clearly a morning person-love the multilinggual introduction.

someone out there has just wasted what I assume must have been millions of dollars to get this state-of-the-art robot only for it to be stranded in the middle of NO WHERE.

she is every managers ideal sales person omg her Voice acting is soo good!

OPP Gilry NOO (hits by waves) GILRY CLIMB Like a Crab

OH MY GOD SHE CAN MAKE STIKERSS- and she give them to all them.

Rozzem is fukin overwhelmed. her city-girl vibe is not meshing well with the Wild life.

ohhh~ learning mode? guess we doing the talking animal things huh, but from what I see from the day and night cycle it at least took Rozzem 8 days to learn the Animal language.

ROZZEM HONEY NOOO- omg they are all assholes-Rozzem sounded so sad omg honey.

Zeus is being an asshole - the Raccoons are being Assholes!! >:(

OMG NATURE IS JUST BEING AN ASSHOLE TO HER T-T

all of this was just from the first 10 minutes of the movie holly shit.

----------------------

OMG WE KILLED A FAMILY T-T Rozzem is not catching a break

THE BABY!- GET THEM ROZZ-

A BABY!!!!- BABY - A BABBY

no wait Rozz honey you cant just left a new born baby what to heck.

that's what you get for ignoring a toddler Rozz, they break your shit.

I've seen this view a lot.

SHUT UP MOM THEIR ACTING IS ON POINT (also night shade salad?)

helo Pinktail- a mom friend Rozz need- OMG did someone die?- he lived YAY

The possum mom and her Kids are great

________________

Rozz a while ago: I need to go back I no longer have a task I CAN'T FUNCTION WITHOUT A TASK so I must left this newborn

PinkT a tired mom of 7: oh honey being a mom is a full-time task

Rozz immediately committed to be a mom: :D happy to serve my task

___________

Rozz Honey, please be gentle with the newborn. oh shit, it's the FOX, what do you want FINK-local Goose EXPERT?

Rozz please tell your manufacturer to add some self-preservation program in you the next time you see them FINK PLEASE AT LEAST HELP THE CHILD

oh yeah no one has named the newborn yet

"Kindness is not surviving skill" The audience would remember that and judge you when the time comes.

OMG Rozz you cant just admit to murder like that get a lawyer first at least

OMG BABY NOOO- oh yeah Rozz? and launching the Baby into the air like last time is???

NEW HOME Project Let's GOO- omg that is a big hole, man is gonna be a cause to a plot point later I can tell.

BABY FIRST WORDS- love that the baby is learning by mimicking Roz & Fink's banter

Roz no you need to encourage the Baby

Yes-yes name for the baby! BRIGHTBILL

home finish, Fink is living that sugar baby lifestyle

it's not copying its taking inspiration you beaver!

Storytime for the baby!

for a fox that was so ready to kill the kid you sure do worry about their innocence Fink

ahh motherhood~

YOU CANT RUN FROM FATHERHOOD FINK- This is to heal your inner childhood

---------------

TIME SKIPS!!!!

oh-oh no- OH NO BRIGHTBILL NOO why cant you inherit you Fox!dad personality instead T - T

THE ROBOT NOISES!!!

oh but Roz did teach him another language POG

glad you're still here with us Fink- and they're not WEIR they are Special.

aww they are so close to one another thoug- omg she is raising him to be a scientist

hi PinkTail and Kids- are they your new litter Pink?

SWIM TIME!- FINK is fukin savage to our boy

it's a swim alright....- aww Roz your mothering Program is on point now- Roz~ you need to let your teenage son do things on his own for once

hi mr. Beaver- huh i didn't expect to find more of them in this island

it may have because my teen years is not that long time ago but GOD do I feel the secondhand cringe

of course! even in the wild we will find Bullies- OMG BB NOO- GO TO HIM, MOM!

SHUT UP YOU PUSSIES FUCKING RAN AT THE FIRST SIGHT OF ROZ

BB call Roz MOM!!- SHUT UP BEFORE I FUKIN HUNT YOU DOWN FOR DUCK SEASON- Fink you are so the GOAT man- BB that is not how you talk to your PARENTS

omg Mr. Beaver hi??? why are you holding a knife??? Mr.Beaver???

off Roz honey we need to get you back in the factory buddy-

oh no the Back story reveal- ahh the Teen angst moments

EYYO BB THAT IS TO FAR !!

------

Oh we're back at the crash site? ANOTHER ARM?? there were Other Robots in that POD???

HOLLT SHIT

huh so they reall are just mass-produced- so where are they going to anyway???

Hey other Roz! or Rummige? Rumi is what I gonna call you

Roz honey you need a fukin break or else you might just have a meltdown

----------------------

Roz, a tired mom to a teen goose: I have a Kid

Rumi, just being resurrected a minute ago: Girly Excuse me Wtf??

Rumi, flabbergasted by Roz's problem-solving idea: Gurl we were not meant to be a MOM

Roz still a tired goose Mom: I KNOW BUT I MUST

---------------------

OKAY BUT LIKE- shout out to Rumi who didn't even care that she wouldn't survive long, she just saw this fellow robot like her struggling and giving up her own way to be back home and prioritize Roz

Fink is struggling without his bodyguard but is willing to climb a fuk ass mountain to check up on Roz is just AGGAHJYGUIS.

EYY you're in this thing too Fox.

Aww Rozz you're great hon, don't let some teenager make you down like that.

UGH her voice!!! she sounded so longing to be needed!-

"Maybe there is someone small there that needs my help" roughly translated to "maybe there is someone out there that WANTS me to HELP" - IMCRYING OMG

uh oh, winter is coming - Fink really saying that BB has no friends

BB you ungrateful lil shit- tell em Fink.

wait Rozzie Honey if you could have learned the proper way for Geese to fly now why didn't you do the same with the swimming part, Rozzie??

aww i forgot Roz lost a leg :(

OLD MAN MR. PEDDLER YOU ARE THE GOAT

He's UP! - He's down - oh no, yeah Rozz you need that self-preservation program installed soon you either learn em yourself or imma break 4th wall to install it.

THUNDERBOLT! And yeah i love how Rozz is having more friends in the Island

BB gonna be flying like a fukin Predator bird this winter, those fukin bullies won't know what hit em!

hello longneck sir, your group has been terrible to Rozz's son

"we Geese are a cranky lot" sir do you know that your whole species is a fukin menace???

why does he sound like a school principal telling the Protag's mom that she needs to make sure his grade is stable if she want her son to have a shot at the team

Roz honey why do you know the size of your son's heart?

YEAH GET HIS ASS PinkT!

The Forest guys are warming up to the Odds Fam Aww :3

and it's DONE the Boy can FLY! >:D

------------------------

opp it's time everyone- wdym thing between you two is still weird

oh god he's really going away now huh? well at least LongNeck is a good fellow

"this Flight is a gift from Roz to you-" "do you see any others that are as small as you?" - YES! give that kid a lesson in perspective!

noooo Rozzie you don't need to hesitate calling BB your son

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BB: will you be here when i get back? Roz: no me seeing there is still like 40 minutes left: uhhhh -------------------------- Say sorry you lil shit, or like thank you.-ah, and there he goes.

AUYSUGJAVXBXAVXAG FUCK T o T

THE LAST GOODBYE MY HEART FUHCHHKKK

welp, task over yeah Fink now you can go back to your unkind life where everything wants to kill you all the time.

help why do they sound like divorced parents already, the kid literally just left for college not a minute ago

JUST SAY YOU GUYS STILL WANT TO BE FRIENDS OMG

i mean she is clearly running on minimum energy with a deteriorating body because Nature is a bitch so uhhhh

FINK FUKIN COME BACK YOU COWARD

--------------------

oh shit there are actually humans defuq I forgot about them.

checking in with Goose Child they are landing in what seems to be a very futuristic corn farm.

OMG ANOTHER ROZ- OH SHIT ANOTHER ROZ

YES, Grandpa LongNeck you know what's up!- UFF and too think all this is caused by a herd of Geese jeez

THAT'S NOT A ROZZEM - WHY DO THEY HAVE A FUKIN WAR MACHINE IN A FARM!!- YEAH LET'S GO BB!-

wait no Grandpa LongNeck - NO

--------------------------

oh hey! Awww i knew you guys will stick together.- bad storm huh- Rescue MISSION

PINKTAIL!-Lmao Finks no- Thunderstrom!!- MR. PADDLER SIR! (he is still going at it wtf)

ROZ honey you're wasting to much energy love- the BEAR TOO???

ah, shit-this is too much chaos- "the jerk wants to speak" lmao.

YEAH SO DON'T BE A JERK ASSHOLES!

oh no Rozzie please stay safe

The bear's name is THORN

Rozzie you okay hun?- SHE LIVES!!- and to wait for baby- HE'S HERE!!

aw LongNeck- aw Rozzie- ROZZIE STAY AND TALK TO YOUR SON ISTG

uhhh-UHHHHHH- UH?????? - Vontra?- uh?- why she is so touchy???

uh OH , ROZZUM- ISN'T THIS A BIT MORE THEN NECESSARY??

THORN!- THE GANG'S ALL HERE

NATURE vs AI LET'S GOOO

TITLE DROP SHE DID THE TITLE DROP

FIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT

the acting school are doing wonders

NOO ROZZIE- VONTRA U BITCH

YES BB SHOW THEM WHY GEESE ARE FUKIN MENACES

also the forest fire...

give it up Vontra you could never defeat God's biggest mistakes

oh- oh kid- oh kiddo i am so sorry- oh honey

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH- fuck

oh?-oh! ROZZIE!

back to the Gang and the forest fire- hope we didn't left anyone behind-

oh MR. PADDLER SIR! we need your tree!

THUNDERBOLT

RIP i guess hope yu went to hell Vontra

Roz?-ROZ?- ROZZIE?!! WHAT'S WITH FLASH BACK ROZZIE??- ROZZUM WHY DID YOU THROW AWAY YOUR HEART?!- ROZ??!!

oh damn, that is a big Tsunami-

Rozzum?- aww you get a 10/10 finally Roz- oh -oh sheesh-

oh Rozzie- oh BB- Oh Fink- oh god YOU GUYS!

OMG THE ART

wtf Roz you can't make me sad like that.-

well, at least the gang is still as strong as ever- ROZ CAN HAVE WINGS???

nah you guys can't just let her be stuck as a farmer bot after ALL THAT!!

glad Fink and Mr. Peddler are friends now

i see what you did there Dreamwork- give us a "nice" ending but not the actually good one

#the wild robot #spoilers #watch along #rozzum unit 7134 #brightbill #fink the fox #good story #GOOD ANIMATION #GOOD ART #like omg #i was consuming every frame like an addict.

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rjzimmerman · 8 months ago

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The agency that carries out this "program" is called the Wildlife Services of the U.S. Department of Agriculture. I hate this agency with all the passion I can generate, and have ever since I learned about it and what it does 15 years ago. It exists to murder wildlife, particularly to benefit farmers and ranchers. Long ago, someone put handle on the agency, calling it the "gopher chokers." The name fits. I have done more than a fair amount of yelling to my dead representatives in Congress and senators to dismantle the agency or change its purpose and mission.

My favorite statistic. I don't remember the year, but let's just say 2014. In that year, Wildlife Services killed about 350,000 red-winged blackbirds. Why? They were eating sunflower seeds in sunflower farms. You'd think that a sunflower farmer should be taking that risk rather than causing us taxpayers to make his profit for him, right?

Other stats. We're starting to believe that beavers need to be returned to the wild to help us with floods and drought resistance. Wildlife Services killed 24,603 beavers in 2023. Other stats for death: 525 cardinals; 68,562 coyotes; 430 black bears; 17,109 mourning doves; 6,952 cattle egrets; 1,292 red foxes; 24,744 Canadian geese (even though they are protected by the Migratory Bird Treaty Act); 1,209 jackrabbits (four species of them); 1,981 possum; 905 robins. I could go on, but I'm going to puke. Here's the link to the chart.

Sorry about the length of this post, but it takes a while to describe pure evil.

Excerpt from this story from NPR:

The United States Department of Agriculture's [USDA’s] Wildlife Services program is a holdover from the 1930s, when Congress gave the federal government broad authority to kill wildlife at the request of private landowners. In that era, government-sponsored extermination programs for native wild animals, like wolves and grizzly bears, were common.

After the Endangered Species Act was passed in 1973, federal agencies were required to change course and start helping some of those wild animal populations recover. But today, Wildlife Services employees still kill hundreds of thousands of noninvasive animals a year, data from the agency shows. Even species considered threatened under the Endangered Species Act, like grizzly bears, are not exempt. So long as livestock or human life are threatened, federal rules allow Wildlife Services to kill those animals, too.

Conservationist groups have long protested the program, saying the government is killing animals at the request of private livestock owners without first presenting enough evidence to show that the management methods aren’t harming the environment, as federal law requires.

“One of the biggest issues that comes up with Wildlife Services, and where we've beaten them in court multiple times in multiple states, is the controversy of the science,” said Lizzy Pennock, an attorney for the nonprofit WildEarth Guardians. “We need to get out of the framework of the 1800s and 1900s where it's like, kill any carnivores that might be inconvenient.”

Wildlife Services officials say that with the exception of invasive species, employees only kill wild animals that attack livestock or cause damage. But data obtained by NPR indicates the program often kills native wildlife that didn’t kill or injure livestock.

NPR obtained and digitized thousands of Wildlife Services work orders from Montana, created from 2019 through 2022, and built a database that shows that the program’s employees frequently kill native wild animals without evidence of livestock loss. The documents reveal that during those three years, employees killed approximately 11,000 wild animals on Montana properties where no wildlife was recorded as responsible for killing or injuring any livestock. In those cases, only a "threat" from those wild animals was logged in the records.

The agency frequently used helicopters and planes to shoot large numbers of wild animals at a time, the documents show, a method activists consider cruel and scientists say can lead to local eradications.

Although some livestock organizations financially support part of Wildlife Services' work, individual livestock owners do not pay a fee when federal employees come to their properties. Employees are allowed to kill wild animals on those private areas as well as on public land, like state forests and parks.

“That’s a bloodbath,” said Collette Adkins, a lawyer who leads the Carnivore Conservation program at the Center for Biological Diversity. “That just seems like yahoos with rifles killing everything they see that moves. It’s horrible to imagine the amount of suffering involved there.”

“Of all wildlife encountered in FY 2023, Wildlife Services lethally removed 5.14%, or approximately 1.45 million, from areas where damage was occurring. Invasive species accounted for 74.2% (1,079,279) of the wildlife lethally removed,” a representative wrote.

An NPR analysis of those reports shows that Wildlife Services killed more than 370,000 noninvasive animals across the country in the 2023 fiscal year. And over the past nine years, Wildlife Services killed 30 threatened grizzly bears and at least 1,500 gray wolves in states where they were otherwise supposed to receive protection under the Endangered Species Act, like in Minnesota and Wisconsin.

But the reports don’t reveal the names of the livestock owners that use Wildlife Services. That’s to protect the privacy of people in the agriculture industry, the agency has said. Wildlife Services also doesn’t disclose in those reports how many wild animals were killed by federal employees on public land.

#Wildlife Services #Department of Agriculture #gopher chokers #wildlife #farmers #ranchers

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