#posted by a rat btw

[arlo-has-descended-to-dirt]

Nothing to see here just Spencer admiring the ass of the worlds dilfiest dilf

[wazzi2ya]

Alastor: *Starts coughing uncontrollably*

Charlie: Oh gosh, Al! Are you alright? Do you need CPR?! Oh shit, oh shit, what do I do—

Alastor: *Chokes, then spits out a huge white feather*

Charlie: ...

Alastor: ...

Charlie: ...Is that—

Alastor, panicking: I ATE A SEAGULL.

*Later at the bar*

Husk, who saw everything: So, you like the beach?

Lucifer: Oh, yeah. Why?

Husk: No reason in particular.

[adobe-outdesign]

imagine being some poor dude in Alola making breakfast and you turn around to see a 2ft 60 lb electric rat making off with one of your pancakes

[beatcroc]

the real joke here is that i'm pretty sure fake pep is like totally average person height, it's just that the rest of this cast are fuckin pipsqueaks

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette]<-u are here [peppino] [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]

[bongwateriero]

frank dying in a glue trap

[cerebralabyss]

not a damn thought behind those eyes

- 🥀

[nyawrler]

whaddup bellthinker nation. have some slop on the house ^_^

[theminecraftbee]

can i request three somehow forced into a fake dating situation

Three stares directly into Martyn’s eyes. They are blue and of an average size. It feels as though maybe this should be against the rules, but according to the book it had read, this was… normal. A normal thing to do on a date. Look deeply into someone’s eyes. It would not be suspicious at all, even though Three isn’t really sure how to look more or less deeply into anyone’s eyes at all. Eyes are not flat, but even when Three Looks, it isn’t as though there is anything interesting in there.

Martyn is sweating somewhat. He looks away first.

Three’s pretty sure this counts as a victory, especially given Martyn can’t see Three’s face behind the mask anyway. It is good Three has now won the game of ‘staring lovingly into its date’s eyes’, because that had been a strange, threatening mortal ritual. It would rather not do that again.

“Haha, thanks again for agreeing to this date,” Martyn says, very suspiciously looking around the small cafe in a bustling semi-private Origins server. “It’s been so long since we’ve gotten to hang out like this. Gods, do I sound stupid.”

“You do,” Three says.

“You don’t have to answer those,” Martyn says.

“Will comply,” Three says.

“Oh, for the love of—we’re on a date. A date!” Here, Martyn winks obnoxiously. “It’s not a mission.” He winks obnoxiously again. “Besides, you should lighten up!”

“Will comply,” Three says.

“You know, I had forgotten how obnoxious that was,” Martyn says cheerfully. “Anyway, I should order us some drinks! Have some conversation! Keep an eye out around us, yeah, for our waiter?”

“You are not very subtle,” Three says.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Martyn says. “Besides, honestly? I am really glad to just hang out with you. Because we’re dating! On this server for fancy couples. Yep.”

The problem is, of course, that a fancy origins server is a great place for the strangest of people to hide.

When Martyn had asked a favor, Three had been… uncertain. This was not because Three doesn’t care for Martyn—it does, greatly—or because Three didn’t want to see Martyn—they’d met up a few times before now, tentative and quiet and frustrated and all the things that were hard to explain, and then in all the ways they were okay again—but because Martyn, for all Three cares for him, is still an idiot.

Three is its own handler, now. It does not have to follow handlers that are morons. It had told Martyn this. When Martyn had stopped wheezing, he’d explained that it’d be fun. Not Listener business, he promised; he still hadn’t quite gotten out, but he wouldn’t drag Three in, Scout’s honor.

(Three believes him. It’s never been that Three doesn’t trust him.)

It was a friend of Martyn’s that had gone missing. Apparently, on some fancy modded server? And now, Martyn wanted Three to come help him do some recon because, quote, “Jimmy laughed at me until he cried and that hurt me a little bit, not going to lie, and I’ve used up the favors Ren owes me, and Oli was busy. Have you met Oli? You’d like Oli.”

(Three did not like Oli.)

Three agreed, despite its better judgement. The reason it thought this may be a poor plan was because—

“Ah, the lovely Valentines,” the waiter says. He gives them a plate of lovely heart-shaped calamari. Three wonders if they had belonged to heart-shaped squid. “It’s a lovely evening, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s wonderful here with my beloved!” Martyn says.

The waiter and Martyn both look at Three. Three doesn’t say anything and sits perfectly still.

“Um,” the waiter says.

“It’s for a health condition,” Martyn says, which technically isn’t a lie.

“Very well, sirs, although it may get in the way of the kissing competition!”

Martyn, who had just started sipping some wine, chokes on it.

“I will win the kissing competition,” Three says.

Martyn chokes harder.

“I will see you to it!” the waiter says. “And of course, our patented species comparability exam is the highlight of the evening.”

“Oh. I am not sure I can produce viable offspring,” Three says.

The waiter stares at Three. Three stares back, although not into the waiter’s eyes, as to not cause any confusion. The mask somewhat prevents that from working, though.

“Very well then,” the waiter says. “I suppose just—do you need help?”

“It knows what it’s doing,” Martyn hisses.

“I did do research before coming here,” Three says.

“I’ll just head on,” the waiter says, in a tone that suggests to Three that maybe it did not do enough research before agreeing to help Martyn.

Oh well.

At least the mask means it doesn’t have to keep a straight face as it picks Martyn off the ground and, completely flat in tone, says: “Do not die. I would be sad if you died of something as stupid as choking on wine.”

“I asked for this,” Martyn says.

“Yes,” Three says. “You did. That is why I am here.”

(Beneath the table, it grabs Martyn’s hand. Martyn squeezes Three’s hand back. It had missed him, though. For all they do not see each other often—)

(Well. It had missed him, though.)

[arlo-has-descended-to-dirt]

1x7 the fox

MATTHEW WEARING THE WATCH ON THE OUTSIDE OF HIS SHIRT WAS TO PAY HOMAGE TO A FRIEND OF HIS WHO PASSED

[well-dressed-sewer-rat]

bsd is crazy because in literally no other context in the universe would the phrase “i want nikolai gogol to stab me in the throat” be acceptable to say but here it’s just like yeah me too bestie

[myrquez]

rosquez reconciliation is just not going to happen like never in their life ever (except, maybe, in just one case. maybe)

and i’m almost sure of that bc. listen. i have so many thoughts and it’s early in the morning and it’s gonna be so messy and i don’t even know if someone has already said this but.

what i’m really convinced of is, valentino didn’t believe marc sabotaged him. i think the whole sabotage story is bullshit. like, it IS really bullshit even for them. it’s as believable as that polleria osvaldo prank.

ofc uccio didn’t check any telemetry shit. ofc valentino didn’t really think marc was sabotaging him in phillip island. marc had a rough start of the season that year, made many mistakes, but at some point he eventually started to get his shit back together and even tho he wasn’t a contender for the title anymore he could’ve been very much of an obstacle put in the middle of the road of his climb to the 10th. that sabotage conspiracy theory really was nothing but a means to “scare off” little marc, to try to make him take a few steps back and get him off the hook or whatever. he NEEDED marc out of the games bc that was his last chance to get his 10th and he truly wanted it at ALL costs. plus, he really loved his silly little mind games. he pulled that shit with gibernau, biaggi, casey AND jorge himself. but it BIBLICALLY backfired bc marc has always been one tough mf and of course he served vale a little taste of his own medicine (showing him what it would have been like to have him as an actual sabotaging agent on track) and OF COURSE he had to show that he wasn’t scared or anything. OF COURSE he had to show that he would’ve never bent down for anybody. should he have behaved differently? probably. but he literally was 22. and it’s not to babey him or anything, it’s how it is. 22 years of age and FIRE in his veins, headstrong, impulsive, and all of that. of course it didn’t end well, that was the only possible outcome, no variations. vale ended up losing his 10th and marc.. well we know what he had to go through

but that’s it. vale’s own ambition outweighed his talent (for mindgames) (quote) and he lost the championship the exact moment he went and poked the wrong bear. vale never felt betrayed, he STILL does not feel betrayed or anything. it’s not about genuine delusions or hurt feelings, it’s about ego, truly. vale doesn’t need and doesn’t want any apology. vale just doesn’t want anyone to reach HIS greatness. HIS status as a god. which is why he ended up being friendly with all of his past enemies on track, they’re out of the games now, of course! they couldn’t (and won’t now) reach his status as a god not even if they wanted to. except for the one that is still riding despite everything he went through

this is why, or at least i think it is, they will never really fully reconcile, IF not, maybe, in just one case: marc retires before he has reached (or surpassed) vale’s number of championships.

even in that case, i wouldn’t be really sure it could eventually happen. but it’s really the only scenario that seems probable to me.

[ratgrinders]

In light of this latest episode's big reveal, I was a little curious, so I'll ask y'all this:

[giftboxxworld]

Peppino needed a nap, and Brick seems to be the only comfortable napping place available (there were plenty of spaces he just chose Brick because she is a friend <33)

[spikes-got-anger-issues]

My favorite textposts I created in 2023

[bongwateriero]

RAYYYYYY

[plantwriting]

Rolan doesn’t know what else to do but run in the face of danger. He sees bodies in the water, he sees /his own body/ in the water, and he runs. He runs from his friends, from his home, from the truth, he runs somewhere far away and tries so hard to forget he ever had a life in the sleepy town of Galloway.

He sees Rat’s body, melted and disfigured and unnatural, and he runs. He runs to the place he feels safest, he runs from his friends, he shuts himself away and tries to ignore the rest of the world, he tries so hard to run.

He can’t run from Galloway this time, not with the forcefield. But he can still run from what’s happening.

He runs from the truth, the situation at hand, and focuses on something he hopes will distract from it. His parents’ funeral. He can’t run for long, though. Not in a place as small as Galloway.

He runs from his “cousin” at his parents’ home, until he doesn’t feel like he needs to run anymore. He runs from the hive, he leaves his parents behind, he knows they can’t get away. He runs, and he leaves them to die.

He, for once, doesn’t run from his friends. He goes after Rand. He plans to fight. He goes looking for Kian. He does what Rand was too afraid to do.

But he still runs from the real Kian. He refuses to face whatever is behind the tree. He runs from the truth that he on some level already knows. He runs when the Kian he’s with becomes something else, he curses and he runs and he hates himself for it but he doesn’t know what else to do.

He runs to Rand. He looks in the bayou. He finds the reality that he’s tried so long to run from.

He only stops running once he finds out the truth. Once he doesn’t feel the need to keep himself alive anymore. It’s only when he’s already dead that he can finally stop running.