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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 1 year

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I Will Find You in the Dark Ch. 3

Series Summary: Dean and Julie's story continues through turbulent times in the Winchester's life. Can Dean and Julie survive through it all? Can their love survive?

Chapter Summary: Can Dean rescue Julie from being imprisoned in her own body?

Pairings: Dean x OFC (Julie) Established Relationship

Series Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Show level violence throughout. Smut throughout. More detailed chapter warnings.

Chapter Warnings: Show level violence, MOC!Dean, Smut, PinV, unprotected sex, slightly rough sex, oral (f receiving), angst, some almost fluff.

Word Count: 3,971

|| Series Masterlist ||

A/N: The third chapter in the sequel to my fic, Green is My Favorite Color. I highly recommend that you read that one first, since there will be references made to it throughout this sequel. Also, I suggest you read the Dean and Julie Mini-Series I wrote as a bridge between that fic and this one. (The Mini-series’ title is a bit of a spoiler for the original series, so I won’t post it here, but it can all be found here.) I had a lot of fun writing that original series, and the mini-series, and certainly hope those who read and enjoyed those, enjoy this sequel. 💓

The beautiful dividers below and at the end were created by @talesmaniac89. 💗 Title card was created by me.

Masterlist || Tag Lists

Dean stood in the abandoned warehouse, listening to the distant dripping of a leaky pipe, and gritted his teeth; he hated this plan. There were just so many things that could go wrong.

When Abaddon showed up, they had to get her into the devil’s trap and then hold her there long enough for Crowley to exit his body and enter Sam, so that they had some extra demon muscle if they needed it. Then they needed the trap to hold her long enough that they could execute the spell to rip her out of Julie’s body and force her into Crowley’s, at which point she would no longer be in a devil’s trap - which meant that Dean would have to move immediately to kill her with the first blade and the mark.

He really hated everything that could go wrong. But he reminded himself that Cas was only a prayer away if they needed him. He’d wanted to be at the warehouse with them, but they were worried that Abaddon would be able to sense him there. So, he was listening for their prayers.

As Sam set up the ingredients for the spell, hiding them behind a turned over desk so that Abaddon wouldn’t see them immediately and get suspicious, Dean had nothing to do but run over the plan again and again in his head. In the end it would all come down to him…and the strange mark he now had on his right forearm. He ran his hand over it; the symbol was hidden beneath his layers of clothing, but he swore sometimes he could feel it get hot on his skin.

The blade was hidden in his left, inside jacket pocket, so that he could quickly pull it out and use it to put an end to the Knight of Hell. When he’d first seen the blade, sitting amongst Magnus’ collection of magical artifacts, he wasn’t sure that the old Men of Letters alumnus knew what he was talking about. It just looked like a worthless bone.

But then he’d held it in his hand, and the mark had come to life, and something had rushed forth, coursing through his veins like a drumbeat, powerful and potent, but dark and spine-tingling. He’d felt exhilarated and horrified in equal measure, and when he’d used it to sever Magnus’ sadistic head from his body, it had felt as though the mark was screaming in victory. For a time, all he’d been able to hear was the rushing sound of blood in his veins, as his body craved violence, wanting to feed upon blood like something starving.

It was Sam’s voice that had brought him back to reality and he’d dropped the blade, dizzy with the fear of himself that followed.

As he felt the blade now, heavy in his pocket, he could feel the mark tingle with anticipation, and the feeling scared the shit out of him. He didn’t want to use it again, while at the same time, he was desperate to put his hand on it, to grip it tight and feel the rush course through him.

But it didn’t matter what he felt, or what he feared. This was their only shot at saving Julie and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to pull her out of the grasp of the demon who claimed her.

Sam approached, exhaling a deep breath. “I think we’re ready, Dean.”

The brothers both looked to where Crowley sat tied up on the floor. “I’m ready when you are, boys. The quicker we get this over with, the quicker I can get back to ruling my kingdom.”

Sam nodded, and Dean pulled out his phone and sent a text to the number Abaddon had given him.

The text read simply, “We’ve got him. 1476 Hennings St. W.”

And within a minute, Julie appeared in front of him. Even though he knew it wasn’t really her, his heart still leapt at the sight of her. It had been over a month since Abaddon had abducted her and he’d been terrified every day, thinking about what she was going through.

Abaddon’s calculating smile appeared on Julie’s face and Dean snapped his mind back to what had to happen.

“Hello boys.” Abaddon greeted them, walking slowly forward.

They’d placed Crowley just on the other side of the devil’s trap they’d painted in blacklight paint on the filthy ground. They knew they couldn’t just hide the trap underneath something because she was too smart and would likely figure that out immediately. But they hoped with the invisible paint and the ground littered with dirt and debris, she wouldn't notice it, and just saunter towards the bait they left for her in the form of a trussed up Crowley.

She was less than two feet away from it, barely ten steps, when she stopped and smiled at them. “How nice it is to see you again.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean said impatiently. “Look, just take Crowley and give Julie back.” He pointed at Crowley, hoping she’d walk the few more steps forward, but she stayed where she was.

She smiled again, this time grinning widely and letting Julie’s one dimple in her right cheek pop out. “You boys are so cute when you try to fool me!” She lifted her hand and a quiet hum sounded as she pulled the shape of the devil’s trap up out of the ground, illuminating the blacklight paint without any trouble at all.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” She scolded. “I don’t appreciate tricks.”

There was a moment’s pause when Dean felt something ominous stir in the air, just before he watched Abaddon snap his wife’s neck with a sickening crack.

“No!” He screamed rushing towards her. What he intended to do, he had no idea, but it didn’t matter anyway, since Abaddon simply flung him back against the wall, as chaos exploded around him. He heard Sam call out for Cas, just before Abaddon threw him across the room to land with a thud on the concrete floor.

Seconds later, the red demon smoke left Crowley’s body and entered Sam, immediately bouncing Sam back up on his feet just as Cas popped into sight.

“Protect Sam!” Dean shouted to Cas from where he was pinned to the wall like a bug. “He’s gotta do the spell.”

Abaddon waved her hand towards Cas, sending out a blast of energy, meant to knock him back, but the angel stood his ground, pushing back against her with a bright white light, his eyes glowing blue like a flame.

Crowley-Sam took the chance to rush forward and toss all the ingredients together. As he began chanting the latin incantation, Abaddon managed to at last knock Cas to the ground. She turned to attack Sam next, but she was too late; the spell was completed and a golden beam of light shot out from the bowl, through the air, and into Julie’s torso.

Abaddon lurched to a stop. She made a motion like she was going to be sick, putting her hands on her stomach, and a tiny puff of demon smoke escaped her mouth, before she pulled it back in and lurched forward again, but the power of the spell was working, and slowly but surely the black demon smoke was leached out through her nose, eyes, and mouth, and seemed to tether itself to Crowley’s prone body.

Dean dropped to the ground as Abaddon’s hold on him evaporated. He wrenched the first blade from his pocket, rushing forward to end her as soon as she was completely out of Julie’s body and in Crowley’s.

The thin, black, smoky chain linked Julie’s and Crowley’s bodies for a moment more before Julie’s body fell to the ground, motionless. Abaddon was now fully inside Crowley, and Dean rushed forward to stab her through the heart. But just as he reached her, he was again flung back, and pinned to the wall, watching helplessly as the first blade flew out of his hand and across the floor.

Abaddon seemed a little wobbly on Crowley’s legs, but as she moved towards Dean, he could feel her phantom grip around his throat, slowly cutting off the air supply. The air around them crackled with power and a sudden rushing wind rattled through the warehouse, smashing the windows and busting light bulbs.

As he tried desperately to get air, Dean looked across the room, to see Cas crouched over Julie’s body, blocking her from his view. The fear and rage welled up in Dean as he thought of Julie and what the monster in front of him had done to her; he could feel the mark get red hot on his arm and he let out a growl, as he reached towards the blade, willing it into his hand.

As though it was suddenly attached to his hand by a rubber band, the blade whipped up off the ground and he caught it easily. He saw Abaddon’s shock on Crowley’s face as he pushed himself off the wall. The intense power she was pushing towards him suddenly felt like nothing more than a stiff breeze and he strode easily towards her, reaching her in only a few strides.

He surged forward, pushing the blade home, straight through her heart. Abaddon screamed in rage, and the orange, fiery light burned through her as she died, crashing to the ground.

For the second time in his life, Dean felt power wash over him, beating hard and fast, pounding through him like an endless drumbeat, and the world went red. He fell to his knees, desperate for more, more blood, more screams of defeat, more death. He raised the blade high in the air before slamming it into Crowley’s body again and again.

He saw nothing before him except the slicing of the bone through skin, blood spurting, bathing him in something warm and welcome. He heard nothing but the pounding of his own heart, the echoes of screaming, the death cries of all those who’d fallen beneath the strength of the blade for centuries, millenia.

He might have stayed there forever, soaking himself in violence, if it wasn’t for a familiar voice calling his name.

“Dean!”

Like a slammed door, something crashed closed in his mind, and the world around him returned, and he blinked up at Sam and Cas standing above him. He felt a soft hand on his shoulder and he turned to see Julie kneeling beside him, a look of fear and worry on her face.

“She’s dead, honey, she’s dead. She can’t hurt us anymore.”

He looked down at the mess he was kneeling in, horror setting in as he dropped the blade and came back to himself.

“Kindly get away from my body so I can try and repair some of the major damage you’ve inflicted on it.” It was Sam’s angry voice that issued Crowley’s demand.

But Dean was paying him no attention for the moment as he realized that Julie was beside him, alive and whole, and herself again.

“Jules?” He asked as he reached out a hand to touch her cheek. Seeing how much blood covered it, he pulled it back, not wanting to contaminate her with it. But Julie grabbed hold of his fist and raised his bloody knuckles to her lips.

Dean pulled her to him then, knowing he had no right, knowing he was covering her in the blood he’d spilled, but unable to stop himself from seeking her warmth and life. To have her back in his arms after so long was incredible, and to have her wrap her arms around his neck, and pull his head down to rest against her shoulder, felt like a sanctuary from the monster that he could still feel stirring in his heart.

***

Hours later, Julie sat alone in their bedroom. Dean was still putting away weapons and supplies. He’d told her it could wait, that he wanted to take care of her first, but she’d just kissed him softly and told him that all she wanted was a shower and sleep. So she sat now, wrapped in a towel, exhausted, but knowing beyond a doubt that she was never going to get to sleep.

Her mind was far too awake, too plagued with waking nightmares that she couldn’t get out of her head. She’d showered, scrubbed herself clean, but she still felt dirty on the inside, like there was still a parasite sucking away at her soul.

She heard soft boot treads coming down the hallway, just before Dean gently pushed open the bedroom door, obviously not wanting to wake her. When he saw her awake and sitting up, he walked through the door and closed it behind him, leaning back against it.

He wore only jeans and a black t-shirt, and he looked so beautiful it made her want to cry. She’d missed him so much while she was sitting as a prisoner in her own mind. Dean offered her a gentle smile, and Julie tried to pull the love and concern in that smile into her body to warm her. She was so cold.

“Hey.” She said quietly.

He walked further into the room and moved to sit beside her on the bed. “Hey, kid.” He responded, making her smile at the old, familiar nickname.

He reached a hand out and tucked a piece of drying hair behind her ear. “You just gonna sit here in a towel all night? You must be freezing.”

Julie shrugged. She was too cold on the inside to notice any chill outside. But she didn’t say that to Dean.

“I’ll put my pajamas on right away.”

Dean nodded and let his hand fall back to his lap. He looked deep in her eyes and Julie closed them, scared of what he might see there.

She felt him pick up her icy fingers and chafe them slightly between his hands. “How are you, Jules?”

A sardonic smile twisted her lips and she opened her eyes, looking down at their joined hands. “Not good, I guess.”

Dean squeezed her hand and she lifted her gaze up to where she could see the strange mark that was now branded on his arm. She reached out to trace her finger across the raised skin.

She felt Dean stiffen, and looked up at him. “Sorry, does it hurt?”

Dean shook his head. “No, it’s fine.”

She bit her bottom lip and thought back to the warehouse and waking up with Cas hovering over her, only to look beyond him and see Dean, furiously murdering Crowley. It had been a very strange moment to say the least. She hadn’t understood exactly what she was seeing, but she could feel that she was herself again, and she could see quite clearly that Dean was not.

The boys had explained on the way home, just how they’d defeated Abaddon. When they told her that Dean now carried the Mark of Cain, her stomach had turned over. She couldn’t imagine all the ramifications that would have, but she didn’t imagine any of them would be good.

She put her palm over the mark now, and frowned up at Dean. “So what happens with it now? How do you get rid of it?”

Dean shrugged and subtly tried to pull away from her, but she wouldn’t let go. “I don’t know. We’re looking into it. But,” he shrugged one shoulder again, “seems like it might come in handy to take down Metatron too. That little bastard has gotten way more powerful than he has any right to be.”

He finally succeeded in pulling his arm away from her and covered up the mark with his own big palm. “But none of that matters right now; all that matters is how you’re doing. You say ‘not good’, and well, yeah, I wouldn’t think so.” He paused for a moment. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Julie shook her head vehemently. “No! Absolutely not.” She said, fear clouding her voice. “And I know that makes me a hypocrite, because I’m always after you to talk about things, but I just…”

She shook her head again, and suddenly tears started falling. “I’m sorry.” She said through increasingly choked sobs.

“Hey, hey!” Dean said as he pulled her into the circle of his arms. He placed a kiss to the top of her head, running his hand through her still damp hair and pushing it off her shoulder.

“Jules, sweetheart…” He cooed to her, his lips pressed to her forehead, “You have nothing to be sorry for. If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.”

Trying to get a handle on her frayed emotions, Julie pulled back from him a little, sniffling softly. She shook her head. “I just wanna forget. I don’t want to relive it, I don’t wanna think about the things she did with my hands, I just…”

She leaned back into him, pressing her forehead to his chest. “I just wanna forget.” She repeated.

He was quiet for a moment, running his big hands over her bare shoulders, his chin resting on her head. His voice was almost a whisper when he spoke next.

“That might be possible.”

Julie moved back and looked up at him with a frown. “What do you mean?”

Dean’s jaw was clenched and he ran his fingers gently across her forehead. “We can make you forget.”

When Julie just continued to frown at him, he explained. “Cas.” He gripped both her hands in his again, brushing his thumb across the back of one of them. “Angels can wipe memories.”

Realization dawned in Julie and a part of her heart rejoiced at the idea. She was seconds away from saying yes, from begging Dean to call Cas right then to come and wipe her mind clear of the pictures she couldn’t erase on her own. But a wiser voice came through telling her that it wasn’t the solution.

She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

A deep, double-lined crease appeared between Dean’s brows. “Why not? We’d just take away the bad memories, the things you don’t want to keep.”

But Julie was still shaking her head. “I think we’d probably take the memories away, sure, but the…the dark, the…trauma…I think it would stay. I don’t think that’s as easy to bleep out of existence.”

She closed her eyes. “No, the only way out is through. Just gonna take time.”

When she opened her eyes, Dean was nodding, but his eyes were sad. “Yeah, okay Jules, you’re right.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “But, please, tell me what I can do to help.”

Julie knew what she wanted, but she was slightly shy to ask, it felt like a strange request given the circumstances. But she knew it would help, so she looked into Dean’s mesmerizing, bright green eyes and asked.

“Make love to me?”

She could see the surprise enter Dean’s gaze, followed quickly by simmering heat. She tried to explain.

“I just need something…soft, something pure and…and gentle.” She reached up and pressed her fingertips against his mouth. “Something that will warm me.”

Dean hesitated just a moment and then stood up, slowly shedding his boots, t-shirt, jeans and underwear. When he stood in front of her naked and stunningly beautiful, she felt tears prick the back of her eyes.

He pulled her to her feet, and unwrapped the towel from around her, raising goosebumps across her skin, but the heat in his eyes as he ran his gaze up and down her body warmed her quickly.

His hands were also warm as he turned her and pulled her back against him, letting her feel his hardening cock against her lower back. He pushed her hair to one side and began to press petal soft kisses along the side of her neck and over her shoulder, before pushing her hair back and starting down the other side.

His hands began to massage her shoulders and neck, and when she moaned at the incredible feeling, she felt him harden even more. She tilted her head forward and he took the chance to press his lips to the nape of her neck, his soft, warm breath stirring the little hairs there and causing a full-body shiver.

“Still cold, sweetheart.” Dean asked, a smile in his voice, because he knew full well that wasn’t why she was shivering.

“Mmmm…” Julie groaned. “Getting warmer by the minute.”

“Good.” Dean responded, his voice deep and raspy with desire.

He walked her forward, and then pushed her to lay down on the bed. When she was on her back, sideways across the bed, Dean got down on his knees and pulled her forward so that her ass was at the edge of the bed.

He spread her legs wide, his strong hands holding them in place as he began licking and nibbling on her thighs, sucking bruises into her skin. As he got closer and closer to the very center of her, she could feel slick pooling beneath her as she dripped onto the sheets. She pushed her hands into his hair and tugged, trying to force him to quit his teasing, pulling him towards where she wanted him.

Finally he gave in and licked a wide stripe through her glistening folds and Julie cried out, bracing her heels against the bed frame and raising her hips, pushing herself harder against Dean’s mouth. He grunted and wrapped his arms around her upper thighs, holding her tight to his lips as he pulled her clit between his lips and sucked on it like a candy.

In seconds Julie was coming on his tongue, hands fisting in the sheets, her head pressed back, digging into the memory foam. “Dean!” She cried out, her toes curling and muscles straining.

Just as she was coming down, Dean set her feet on the ground and then flipped her over quickly so that she was bent over the bed, hands pushing against the mattress for stability as Dean slammed into her. She was surprised by the easy way he was manhandling her, crying out in pleasure as his cock hit deep inside her, before pulling out and slamming back, ramming against her cervix with every thrust. He was pounding into her so hard and fast, she would have fallen over if he didn’t have an iron grip on her hips.

There was a part of her mind that was reminding her that she’d asked for gentle, soft. This wasn’t what she’d been looking for, but the voice was quickly drowned out by the raging, keening need Dean was raising in her.

She was screaming in pleasure with every thrust, falling over the edge two more times before he succumbed, spilling hot and thick inside her. His body jerked against hers harshly, his muscles spasming as he spurted every drop deep into her cunt, before falling against her back, breathing broken and raspy.

They soon fell onto the bed together, both too exhausted to speak. Dean pulled the blanket up over their naked, sweating bodies, and pressed his lips to the top of her head, as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pressing her back against him tightly.

As exhaustion took over, the thought entered her mind that she’d wanted soft and tender, but what Dean had given her was sure to knock her out, granting her oblivion, and she was grateful for that. Just one thing worried her as she fell into the abyss of a dreamless sleep.

The sex had been incredible and earth-shattering, but she couldn’t deny that once again, Dean didn’t seem like himself; nor could she deny that, the change scared her a little.

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays.

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#dean winchester fan fic #dean x julie #dean winchester smut #dean winchester angst #spn fan fic series #i will find you in the dark

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mlobsters · 5 months

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supernatural s12e8 lotus (w. eugenie ross-leming, brad buckner)

i wanted to revisit that little lucifer!vince meltdown in 12x07 because i thought maybe i was too high to parse what was happening or something. i definitely misunderstood something, but the emotional content still doesn't make sense to me. anyway, details about partial confusion resolution

i didn't think anything was gonna top the leviathans in most loathed (but more in a boring way) villain but british men of letters are bringing the eye rolling heat.

CROWLEY Lucifer's not content with slutting it from one random vessel to the next. He's moving on to blue chips—celebrities, captains of industry. He just got a lot more dangerous. CASTIEL I agree with Agent Zappa. DEAN Oh, will you stop?

i laughed but like, it'd be more fun if cas was trying to rile him up instead of being in clueless robot mode. feels like we get a different cas every episode

there is something amusing about crossing this trope of the catholic church getting infiltrated by the devil and they try to exorcise him with the spn universe where lucifer and exorcism is all a very different kind of beast.

and now he's in the president, of course. they really have defanged lucifer. now he's getting the cartoon villain treatment too. mark played him on this edge of charisma and creepy and ... actually scary, in a way that he felt like a real, solid threat. who had done awful, awful things to our sam specifically, that left him deeply traumatized. anyway, it's not just switching actors, but this story they're wedging him into.

swift kick to the gut while i'm sitting here musing on a president leading a morning prayer that this aired in december 2016.

LUCIFER It's almost like I've never done that before.

???????

i also had a visceral hate of the rape references/"jokes" lucifer repeatedly made to sam (were they all hallucifer? imagine so) this makes ZERO sense. and also, what the fuck, is this a sitcom? oh the literal devil is feeling offkilter because he's just had sex for the first time teehee aww. WHAT

SAM Crowley, can we just get the damn news without the drama? CROWLEY Can I get you without the flannel? No. Still, I endure.

lol good one, crowley

look at me not overreacting about sam sneaking off to make an aborted phone call and trying to hide it. why the fuck is he calling the bad mol people though...???

having serious dick roman flashbacks with this lucifer plotline.

CASTIEL There's been a massive surge in celestial energy. A Nephilim is come into being. It's the offspring of an angel and a human. DEAN And that's big news? CASTIEL Yes, but the power to produce this is immense. It's much, much greater than a typical angel. SAM Lucifer. DEAN W— Lucifer? I didn't know he was dating.

again, are we in a sitcom? tone of the episode is really not meshing with the jokes they're going for, for me. is this gonna be the nephilim i've heard of?

SAM Do we have a plan? DEAN Impeach LOTUS and find Rosemary's Baby.

oh, silly me. i was thinking lotus the car brand, thought the episode might have some car-slant. lucifer of the united states 🥴

seeing them clearly in the car, outside, makes me realize just how much of the driving shown is at night (for production reasons, obviously)

required hair appreciation note. maybe i had to slog through some truly atrocious haircuts/styles and sideburns to fully appreciate getting here

god. i have such a kneejerk queasy reaction to take five by dave brubeck. my brief stint (during a really Bad Time in my life) at university i would kill time between classes at a place near this cd shop on campus. they played take five over and over and over and over. it's a great piece of music but it still immediately throws me back into this really miserable headspace.

that said, i do think it was used well in this scene. and that was a really good little action sequence, nice tight pacing. sam and dean's reaction to the explosion was really good and it felt like they were right there (and magically baby did not get damaged by the explosion right in her face). cas standing in front of it, unbothered, cliche but still fun. but then fucko had to start talking and i mentally checked out.

coulda had fucko drive up in a lotus but no, bentley 😔 probably harder to obtain a lotus in whatever, vancouver

hurray sam's furtive phone call to bad people already addressed in the same episode.

introducing all sorts of goofy ass weapons. sure, why not

is there a snappy name for this team-up?

CASTIEL The thing inside you, it's unholy. It's an abomination.

great. surely she's gonna want to keep the lucifer!baby then

the magical egg scene went on way too long. i guess it was supposed to be high stakes zapping lucifer back to the cage but god it's just all so not.

i really love how crowley's teleportation is silent, no vfx other than cutting so he's just gone. it's surprisingly effective. anyway, kind of hoping they can work out their problems. good pair

the whole dean being somewhat in awe that they got lucifer felt... i dunno. like ok so is this when we find out he didn't actually end up in the cage?

uh. why are dean and sam there just hanging out with the president? and getting arrested? what. great. my fave.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 12x08 #sam's hair #spn clip #dave brubeck #kinda veered into #spnwhinge

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deancaskiss · 11 months

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Hey Bex, I'm looking for a post of yours from ages ago and I can't find it for the life of me and thought maybe you could help. It was a Destiel drabble where I think Dean wrote down notes to Cas (I don't remember the context, maybe it was in the aftermath of Cas' death) just like all his thoughts and prayers. And I used that concept in a fic I finished today (the one mentioned in today's post for your dreamy drabbles) and I wrote in the notes on Ao3 that the idea came from you, but now I went back and thought it would be so much better to actually link the post instead of just crediting you by name (esp since that changes sometimes lol) so yeah that's why I'm looking for it...

Hope you're having a lovely day!💙💚

Hi my love!

Oh goodness, that’s so so sweet that one of my drabbles inspired you and you used that concept in your fic! Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to credit me in the notes on ao3, that truly means the world to me! <3 thank you for reaching out to me too and for wanting a link to the drabble so you can link the post with my name (also heheh that is true i do switch my names around from time to time hehe)! Thank you again, this message was so so freaking sweet!! 💜🩷

The drabble you’re looking for could be any of my drabbles and I’ve posted so freaking many over the years. I spent over an hour searching my blog today and found these 3 drabbles. I hope one of these is the one you were looking for!

#asked and answered #nayeliq1 #thank you for asking #this made my heart melt #god i love that my writing could inspire you like this

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babesonly · 3 years

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fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS.

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny.

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

An ethics lesson from Hell

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want?

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god.

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #mine

472 notes · View notes

whelvenwings · 3 years

Photo

Up to Date?

Length: ~5k Tags: Canon Divergent, Y yo a ti Cas timeline, Misunderstandings

It's three months after Castiel was brought back from the Empty after confessing his love to Dean, and things are awkward between them. They haven't talked about it. Castiel can feel how much Dean wants to, but he won't let himself, and Castiel can only wait. But one night, with Castiel halfway across the world, he gets a text from Dean that might change everything - even if Dean didn't quite mean it to.

Castiel

It was just awkward. Castiel couldn’t deny it. Things between himself and Dean were definitely awkward.

Three months back on Earth, safe from the Empty with a little help from the Winchesters and from Jack – but Castiel and Dean still hadn’t talked about it. The things that Castiel had said – and what Dean had said in return.

I love you. Me too, Cas.

Castiel knew he should have expected this, the awkwardness. Hadn’t he known Dean long enough, at this point, to be able to predict him? And there was nothing more predictable than Dean not wanting to talk about something.

Still, it hurt. There had been that shining moment of happiness, if a word as soft as happiness was even the right way to describe the feeling of absolute blazing corrosive joy that Castiel had felt when Dean had told him that his feelings were reciprocated. And now, there was just… silence.

It was awkward.

And Castiel didn’t know what to do. Was Dean waiting for him to say something? But Castiel had already said it all. It was Dean who’d only managed to choke out a few words, Dean who must have more to say. And yet he said nothing. Days were slipping past full of staring and loaded sentences and quietness.

The fact that it was all so familiar didn’t make it any better. Castiel wanted something different. It had been different before they’d said anything out loud, but – but there had been something about hearing Dean say those words, me too, Cas, that had changed everything.

He didn’t need much. Nothing grand or unusual, only something to ease the tension. Even if it was just an expression on Dean’s face that acknowledged what had passed between them, instead of pushing it away.

But Dean… Castiel knew it was different for him. There were things that Dean didn’t allow himself, for a tangle of reasons that Castiel only barely understood. Dean didn’t let himself touch. Dean didn’t let himself speak. Dean didn’t let himself look.

But Dean wanted to.

Castiel knew Dean wanted to. So many aching years that Dean had longed for him, and Castiel had been able to feel it like a prayer – and not some soft and murmured thing, a prayer of an older kind, something raw and wordless and desperate. Something on its knees. Castiel could feel the yearning in Dean. It would have been so simple for Castiel to offer touch, but Dean hadn’t ever really let him. And Dean still wasn’t letting him.

And Castiel could still feel the longing.

When they were together, and when they were several thousand miles apart, too. It was there. Never any quieter or gentler, not even from far away. It always touched the same place in Castiel’s grace that it had done from the start. And the feeling of it was just the same, too, like being doused in oil and dropped into flames that reached and hoped and hungered.

Beautiful fire. A beautiful prayer. Castiel wanted to answer it. Dean behaved as though he didn’t know it was there.

The tension in the bunker had become too much, last night, and Castiel had abruptly left with just a quick text to Dean.

> I’m going to look for the artifact Sam read about in Seoul. It shouldn’t be left unguarded.

The artifact was probably just a trinket, if Castiel was being honest with himself, and its significance paled in comparison to everything they’d been through, but it was a reason to get away from everything and give himself a break. It would have only taken Castiel moments to find the artifact if he’d wanted, but he drew it out. He walked rather than flying, pacing the streets of Seoul, following up on the leads that Sam had found. His grace hummed and sighed against Dean’s prayer.

He hoped that when he returned, something might be different. That he and Dean could talk. Maybe even – as he walked down a side-street with neon lights that glowed through the drizzling rain, Castiel allowed himself a wry little smile. Maybe even do something together. Go somewhere. Go on a date.

A date. To a human the word would probably sound little, and normal, and silly for an angel to be thinking about. But to Castiel, it just sounded like something new.

And it was so easy, somehow, to picture Dean coming into the bunker's kitchen, pointing at Castiel semi-aggressively, and saying, so. You, me, date. Up for it?

Would that be how Dean would phrase it? Castiel tried it a few different ways in his head. Down for it? How about it? You in? Each time, the Dean in Castiel's mind looked almost angry as he waited for an answer. Each time, Dean's face softened when Castiel said, yes.

So easy to imagine. So out of reach. Castiel walked on through Seoul, the rain starting to thrum down harder.

–––––

Dean

It was awkward.

Dean knew it was awkward, and he wasn’t thinking about it – he wasn’t. Except when Cas did stupid shit like ditching the bunker without warning, leaving just some handwritten note like a kid sneaking out of his tent at summer camp, it made it kind of harder to ignore.

Staring down at the note in the bunker’s library, Dean pressed his lips together and read it over again, his eyes scanning the words while his brain paid no attention to them, lost in thought.

There was something so ridiculous about it all. The moment between them, the – whatever it had been, when they’d admitted their crap to each other – it felt so overblown to look back on. Sure, Cas had had to summon the Empty, he’d had to get all deep just to save Dean’s hide. But Dean… what he’d said had just been stupid. No point to it. Dean cringed when he thought about it.

Me too, Cas.

The words were so little like something Dean would ever say that they might as well have been in a foreign language. Me too, Cas? That kind of thing didn’t have to be said. Because obviously, him too. But what were they supposed to do about it? Buy each other flowers? Feed each other chocolates? God forbid – hold hands?

Dean felt a little hot rush in his chest just thinking about it, and an accompanying stab of guilt. What were they, seventeen? They were old. Too old for flowers and chocolates. Too old for holding hands. And too old for this weird tension between them, Jesus. Who got nervous and tongue-tied and awkward around a crush at Dean’s age?

Who called it a crush at Dean’s age?

Dean, sat in the library at the bunker, dropped the note Cas had left and picked up his phone. Practicalities. Just focus on the practicalities. He should at least make sure Sam had kept Cas up to date with the latest research about the artifact that might be hidden in Seoul.

Dean tapped on the screen of his phone for a few seconds, holding it a little further away from his eyes than he used to have to do. He read over what he’d typed once, and then hit send.

–––––

Castiel

Castiel’s phone hummed.

With a little clench in his gut, Castiel stepped under the cover of a dark doorway to get out of the rain, and pulled it out of his pocket. Dean’s name was on the screen, obviously. There was the usual leap of excitement, tinged with a familiar sinking feeling in his chest. Dean would probably be angry with him for leaving.

With a stoic line to his jaw, Castiel opened the text, knowing it couldn’t be anything good.

> So. You up to date?

Castiel stared down at his phone.

No… no. He couldn’t have read that right. He blinked, and tried it again.

It still said the same thing.

You up to date?

Dean had just asked Castiel if he was… up to date? If he… wanted to date?

However many times Castiel reread the text, it said the same thing. Castiel stood absolutely still, his eyes puzzling out the letters of Dean’s message again and again.

It was – it was just the way Castiel had imagined it, if not word perfect. The brusque tone, the question. Castiel, half in shadow in a porch in rainy Seoul, stared down at his phone as if it had just promised him the moon.

Dean had just asked Castiel if he was up for dating.

Via text. Obviously. Maybe all this time, it had just been that trying to talk face-to-face had been too much. Maybe Castiel should have left for halfway across the world months ago.

Castiel could feel his heart pounding. He couldn’t stop himself reading Dean’s question, over and over again.

–––––

Dean

When the text from Cas finally came back, Dean snatched up his phone. It wasn’t that he’d been sitting and staring at it, waiting for a reply – he’d just got a little lost in thought, was all, wondering where Cas was and why he wasn’t answering sooner.

The text, though, when Dean read it, put a frown on his face.

> I’m so glad you asked. Yes, I would love to.

Wait. What? Dean checked over what he’d said himself in his first text, just to be sure he hadn’t made some kind of a typo. Nope, he’d definitely just asked if Cas was up to date with the artifact.

So, Cas would love to… what?

Cas was glad he’d asked about what?

None of it sounded like the answer to a simple question about research on an artifact, at all. Maybe Cas was just in the middle of something, and misread Dean’s text. Not something that had ever happened before, but still. Whatever.

Dean circled his thumbs over the keyboard on his screen, and then typed a reply.

< Love to do what

Keep it simple, he figured.

He sat puzzling over Cas’ first message as he waited for a reply. So glad you asked. What did that even mean? Was Cas ever particularly glad when Dean asked anything?

The reply came back quickly, this time.

> Anything you want to do. :) Maybe just going to a bar?

Dean squinted down at his phone.

Anything he wanted to do about what? A bar?

Was he losing it? Dean reread the text over and then over again, and looked back up their conversation to try to make Cas’ reply make sense. The emoticon was typical enough, even though Dean hadn’t seen a smiley one in a while. The way it made his chest squeeze was ridiculous. It was just a smile. And it just followed the words, anything you want to do.

Before he could let his mind run too far with what exactly that could mean, Dean texted back in confusion,

< You want to go to a bar?

There was something about this conversation that was making his heart beat harder. Come on, he told it. What, you can face down the end of the world more than once and a little text conversation still has you like this?

Ignoring his solid logic, Dean’s heart only raced faster when Cas texted back,

> Yes, of course. Unless you think it’s a bad idea?

So… Cas wanted to go to a bar? With Dean?

That was – well, it wasn’t that strange on Dean’s personal spectrum of strange to not strange these days. Fighting Death and God and God’s sister and all the rest of it kind of put a bunch of other strange crap way down the list. But this was still… weird. Not bad weird, necessarily.

But how had they got here, why were they talking about this? What kind of a bar, why? Dean had just wanted to check up on Cas in a few brief words and suddenly they were making evening plans? Cas was making no sense. Was he doing it on purpose? Dean read the whole conversation over again, and pulled a face of utter and annoyed confusion for the benefit of no one, and shook his head.

He thought about it, and licked his lips, and shook his head again.

And then thought some more, and made a hand gesture, as if asking of no one, what the fuck.

He texted out,

< What do u mean

He stared down at the text for a second, and then deleted it, and tried instead,

< Why are we talking about this

He didn’t even read that one over again before deleting it. He made another face, and then quickly typed and sent,

< But you’re in Seoul

However they’d arrived at the idea of going to a bar, it didn’t particularly matter when Castiel was thousands of miles away. Had deliberately ditched, in fact, which was more of an obstacle to them having a nice evening out tonight than the distance between them, but Dean wasn’t going to say that directly.

> Only for a short while longer. I’ve almost completed the search for the artifact. Then I’ll come back :)

Another damn smiley face, another little lift in Dean’s chest. Look at him. Fully grown, and soft over the idea of his best friend looking forward to spending an evening together. Yikes.

Practicalities. Dean fired off another text.

< Okay... you just wanna talk or what

If Cas was going to try to insist that they talk about stuff, well – the drinks would probably be a good place to start, but Dean would need to psych himself up to the idea of trying to explain anything at all that had happened between them. Me too, Cas. He kept hearing himself say it and wanting to bury his head in his hands. What had he been thinking. What had Cas been thinking, when he’d decided on Dean. That had to earn the award for the worst fucking choice in the history of the world.

Dean’s phone buzzed in his hands.

> I think talking is what people usually do on a date. But we don’t have to if you don’t want to.

Dean’s eyes went wide.

–––––

Castiel

Across the world, in the porch in Seoul, Castiel watched as Dean’s little typing bubble with three dot dot dots appeared, and disappeared, and reappeared.

He tried to quiet the excitement in his chest, tried to remind himself that Dean had just implied fairly heavily that he wouldn’t want to talk on their date – which wasn’t unexpected for Dean, but it did leave Castiel wondering what else Dean might want to do.

A thought occurred to Castiel about something they might be able to do without talking, and he swallowed, and felt his hopes fly higher.

Or perhaps Dean just wanted to sit together in silence. That would be alright, too. Companionship in the quiet. When he thought about it, Castiel knew it would be more than enough just to sit by Dean in a bar and drink together, knowing that they were both choosing to be there. Even if they didn’t say a single word the whole evening, even if Dean didn’t so much as look at him the whole night. They could spend the date speechlessly. But it would be a date. It would be an acknowledgement. Maybe it would ease a little of the longing that Castiel felt and felt and felt from Dean, burning.

Finally, a text from Dean came in.

> Wait what

Wait, what?

Castiel felt his heart sink.

There was something wrong. That tone, just two stark words – something wasn’t right. Castiel scrolled back up their conversation. Had he accidentally said something rude? He couldn’t find it, reading the texts over and then over again. He’d used emoticons to show that he was happy. Had they seemed sarcastic?

Did it seem as though Castiel didn’t really want to go on a date? Or that he wouldn’t really be content for them to not talk on the date? Hurriedly, Castiel began typing again.

< I mean it. We don’t have to say anything. I just want to be there with you.

It was the kind of text that Castiel would ordinarily type out and then delete because it was too forthright, too emotional, too much for Dean – but this time, he just hit send before he could think about it. Worse than Dean being grossed out by Castiel openly having feelings was the idea of Dean not knowing that Castiel really did feel those things.

There was a long silence. Castiel stood still, waiting for Dean.

How many times had he stood, quiet, expectant, wanting Dean to be ready, hoping he would be ready, prepared to wait for an eternity until he was? In the span of Castiel’s own lifetime, he’d waited just a blink of an eye. But somehow this blink had been torturously slow. A torture Castiel would have fought to the death before trading.

Castiel’s phone hummed.

> You really want to go on a date

Castiel stared down at the screen. He couldn’t tell if the tone was judgemental or vulnerable. He blinked, and thought hard – and then, with a little shake of his head and hard press of his lips, he made a choice.

Quite suddenly, the street in Seoul was empty.

–––––

Dean

Dean almost fell out of his chair when Cas appeared opposite him in the bunker.

“Shit!” Dean swore, grabbing the table in front of him with one hand. He watched as Cas tilted his head just slightly sideways at Dean’s other hand, instinctively on the butt of his gun.

He eased his hold.

“Could’ve killed you,” Dean mumbled. Cas smiled wryly.

“You could have tried,” he said.

Dean swallowed. Right. Angel powers were all the way back up, these days.

“You’re back,” he said blankly, just to say something, because immediately leaving the room didn’t seem like it would be a good idea – however much the nervousness in his brain was insisting that this conversation wasn’t going to go well, and he needed to bail.

“Yes.” Cas lifted his phone up to face Dean, so that Dean could read their conversation on the screen. Dean glanced over it. It was strange seeing his own words on the left side of the screen, almost embarrassing. “What does this mean?” Cas asked.

Dean got to his feet, feeling too low down still in his chair.

“Uh…” He watched Cas warily, while trying to keep his tone light. “You tell me, Cas.”

“No,” Cas said firmly. “You asked me if I really wanted to go on a date.”

“Yeah,” Dean said.

Cas stared at him, clearly expecting more. Dean tried waiting him out for a few seconds in silence, hoping Cas would say something else, but Cas had that determined look in his eye that told Dean he was going to have to be the one to say something.

“What about it?” Dean said.

“What does the question mean?” Cas asked.

“Well, Cas, it’s kind of all right there. In the message.”

“You just asked if I really want to go on a date,” Cas said again.

“Yeah,” Dean said. “So, do you?”

It was all wrong. His tone was all wrong. It was aggressive, and blunt. He sounded outright angry at the idea that Cas might actually want to go on a date, and that tone didn’t even vaguely map over the ridiculous leap in his chest at the idea of a date together.

But somehow, Cas’ shoulders were dropping, and his face was relaxing, as though – as though that was what he’d been expecting to hear. Or even what he’d been hoping to hear.

“Yes,” Cas said.

Dean felt his mouth fall slightly open and his eyes go wide, and he looked away.

He could feel his breath suddenly coming a little short. He tried to stand very still and be very quiet so that Cas wouldn’t see what that one-word answer had meant. How much it had shaken Dean.

It was only when he heard the yes that he realised just how little he’d expected to ever hear it.

Cas wanted to date. The hot rush in Dean’s chest was back, and the accompanying punch of guilt readied itself… but held back. Because Cas had said yes.

He’d said yes.

“Is that a surprise?” Cas said, his tone dry but not unkind. Dean swallowed, and managed a smile when he looked back over.

“Yeah,” he said.

“Oh.” Cas looked confused. “But… I told you…”

“I know.” Dean shrugged. “I didn’t know if you’d wanna do any of that crap, though. Human stuff.”

He saw something clear on Cas’ face, as though something that had been weighing on him had suddenly been lifted.

“Ah,” he said. “Well… I do. Want to.”

Dean nodded, once, a little sharply. God, he had no idea how to do this. And it didn’t help that he could feel things moving inside him, shifting, like walls crumbling, like stuff he’d smothered finally elbowing its way up to be felt – a blazing feeling, a hurting feeling, a wanting. Somehow both familiar and terrifying.

“Okay,” Dean managed aloud.

“As long as you still want to,” Cas said.

Still? Had Dean ever actually told Cas that he wanted to go on a date? Maybe he’d just been that obvious. Or maybe Cas had actually been able to guess what Dean wanted from the way Dean had said me too, Cas, even though Dean hadn’t been able to guess what Cas wanted in spite of literally being told I love you.

“Do you?” Cas asked, when Dean was silent for a second too long.

That wanting feeling, that hot tense ache that almost had Dean’s teeth gritting against it at this point, it was demanding a yes. It was saying go, go over there, what are you waiting for now? But Dean swallowed it. He couldn’t just have that. He couldn’t. Could he?

“Well,” he said. “I dunno. I mean. We are kinda old for it. Aren’t we?”

Dean watched Castiel consider it, his heart thudding.

“I’m fairly old,” Castiel said, “yes. But I think I’m still allowed to try new things.”

“New things,” Dean echoed.

“Yes.”

“Like… dating.”

“Yes,” Castiel said. “If you want to.”

“And like…” Dean went to say something else, and then stipped himself. Too many things all rushing to the front at once. Too many possibilities. Too many things that he’d given up thinking he could ever have. Too many things he’d told himself it was right that he didn’t have, because it’d be embarrassing if he did.

But now, here was Castiel, standing in front of him and saying he wanted to go on a date. Watching Dean quietly, waiting for him to finish what he’d started to say.

“Like…” Dean said, and then stopped again, and shook his head. “I don’t know, Cas. I’m not… you know.”

“You don’t want to?” Castiel said, the question spoken so neutrally that Dean knew it came with effort – Castiel’s muscles had to be heaving with holding that door open for Dean to leave through, if he wanted. But Castiel was still holding the door. Still saying, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to.

“No, I – yeah. I mean, I – yeah, I want to,” Dean said, saying the last part to the floor. His chest felt as though it was going to crack open. He wanted walk around the table between him and Cas, and drop to his knees, and just ask Cas with his eyes to touch him, anywhere, anyhow, gentle or not. “Just… I mean, look at us. Are we really gonna fit with any of that crap?”

He couldn’t imagine them trying to do the usual sweet romantic stuff. Dates and gifts and cards and flowers. So stupid after everything they’d been through, like sticking heart-shaped bows on the muzzles of two rusting guns.

“What kind of crap?” Castiel asked.

“You know. The whole schtick. Lovey-dovey crap.” Dean mumbled it, aware that even in describing it he sounded ridiculous. Lovey-dovey? Christ.

“I thought we could just try things out,” Castiel said. “And see if we can do them our way.”

“But what if it doesn’t work,” Dean said, making an attempt not to sound too wretched. He watched Castiel, waiting for him to give up, to say this was already too much work, that it wasn’t worth it, and they should just carry on going as they had been.

“Then we try something else,” Castiel said.

“Right,” Dean said, with an almost-laugh. “And we just do that over and over, huh.”

“If you’d like.”

“You’d seriously be okay with just keeping on trying forever?” He said it as if it were a joke.

“Yes,” Castiel said. “Of course.”

Dean went quiet. The expanse of the table between them was far, much too far. He stuck his hands in his pockets and nodded, because he didn’t know what else to do.

Cas saying that he’d keep trying forever was absurd. What was even more absurd was that Dean actually believed him. Cas had that look on his face, the one that allowed no argument, not angry or proud, just – sure. Certain.

If nothing they did together felt right, Cas would stick by him and keep trying new things. Forever.

Dean felt a part of himself breathe out, and with it went the last of the wall. Now Dean was immolating, standing still in the library of the bunker, just burning and burning with wanting to be touched by Cas, and –

As Dean watched, Cas’ jaw was tightening, as though he too were holding himself back against what he needed.

They stared at each other over the table. You first, Dean begged him silently. Please, just come here, just come here.

Cas’ blue eyes were locked with his, trying to say something Dean couldn’t hear.

“Cas,” Dean said, into the silence.

Cas watched him, waiting.

Dean’s mind was a blank. He didn’t know how to take this feeling, this all-encompassing burning wanting yearning feeling, and turn it into words. He didn’t know how to ask for what he wanted without accidentally putting it out of his own reach in the asking. He didn’t know how to want in the way that received, only in the way that was hopeless.

And Cas only looked at him and waited.

Dean opened his mouth.

“I don’t know,” he said. Cas’ expression flickered, but he didn’t move. “I – you – Cas, Jesus, I don’t know how to do this.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“No,” Dean said quickly, immediately.

“Do you want me to stay here?”

“Yeah. I mean…” Dean swallowed. “No.”

Now Cas looked confused.

“Do you want me to…” Cas paused, puzzling it out. Dean watched him thinking, if I shouldn’t go, and I shouldn’t stay, then…?

“Cas,” Dean said, “come here.”

Cas blinked, and Dean watched the slope of his shoulders change, watched the way Cas’ eyes lightened with a sudden hope. He watched Cas take a step around the table, and then another, slowly, as though afraid to scare Dean off.

Dean couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak. His hands were too big. He’d just asked Cas to come to him, and Cas was coming to him.

He couldn’t wait any longer. Dean moved, quickly, decisively, making for Cas as Cas came towards him, needing to be close and needing it now, and then – and then they were in front of each other in the bunker library, they were right in front of each other, standing with their hands by their sides and looking at each other. And all Dean could think as he looked at Cas was,

This is so heavy, it’s too much, it means too much.

And all Dean’s furiously thudding heart wanted was touch, anyway, no matter what it meant.

Cas reached up a hand, and gently – so gently – put it against Dean’s cheek.

Dean held his head up for a long moment, trying to keep himself together, keep it all in, be still, be silent. He gritted his teeth against the feeling in his chest, against the blazing of his happiness –

And then, he let go.

He closed his eyes, and breathed out. And leaned into the touch.

“I love you,” he heard Cas say.

“You shouldn’t.”

“I love you,” Cas said again, more determinedly, and Dean felt Cas’ forehead press to his own.

The touch of him was better than absolution. It was beautiful. It was perfect. Dean could feel the love of it running through him, easing the rusted gritty parts of him that had thought all this beyond him, and he wanted to gasp through the feeling of it like he was swimming through cold water. If he’d tried ten minutes ago to imagine Cas saying I love you to him again, Dean would have imagined it so sweet and unlike them. But this, this was happening. Cas’ forehead against Dean’s. Cas’ voice saying those words, I love you. And it felt real.

It felt like him, Dean, and it felt like Cas. This was who they were. This was how they loved each other.

“Me too,” Dean said. “Me too, Cas.”

He leaned forwards, and kissed Cas.

They didn’t go to the bar, in the end. They found they had enough to do without going out.

–––––

Dean

The next morning, in the kitchen, Dean turned to Cas and said casually,

“By the way, you never actually said. Are you up to date with the new research on the artifact? We should probably still try to find the damn thing.”

“Am I up to…”

Dean watched as Cas’ expression changed. It went from slight confusion, to sudden horror – and finally settled on a kind of dry acceptance.

“What?” Dean asked.

Cas came to stand by Dean, and because he could, Dean leaned forwards and kissed him again. His heart raced as he did it. Cas kissed him back, and Dean felt as though gravity probably shouldn’t be holding him down at this point.

“I, um,” Cas said. “When you texted me yesterday… I thought when you asked me that, you were asking me on a date.”

Dean’s brain took a second to catch up – and then he pressed his lips together to hold in a laugh. Cas tilted his head to one side.

“Don’t,” Cas said.

“I wouldn’t,” Dean said.

“Dean…”

“I’ll never mention it again.”

“I thought…” Cas closed his eyes, his head dropping as he smiled again at his own misunderstanding, and Dean let himself laugh. He reached out and put a hand on Cas’ shoulder, still a little tentative, still feeling his heart sing with the ability to touch. Cas leaned in, their bodies swaying together slightly.

“I love you,” Dean said, the words flowing up out of him like water from a spring, so easily, so naturally. He felt the immediate seize of panic afterwards, hearing those three words said in his own voice, out of his own mouth – but he couldn’t regret them, not when he saw Cas’ head lean back again, his blue eyes glowing with happiness.

“I love you,” Cas answered him. “I love you.”

#whelvenwingsfic #spn #destiel #deancas #destiel fic #deancas fic #it's also up on ao3 if anyone prefers! I'll reblog with a link ayo

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luxshine · 3 years

Text

Y yo a ti, Cas -segunda parte. Because of course Mexican Cas pulled us out of despair and can throw us back in.

Ok, so the last 24 hours have been a bit of a rollercoaster and now I have another post to write about how dubbing is made. Because I love Misha a lot, and I respect him but… the whole rouge translator thing just doesn’t jive with reality.

Now, first of all I want to make a disclaimer: I do not believe that there’s a conspiracy to keep Dean closeted and away from Castiel. That makes absolutely no sense, no matter how you slice it. Among other things, conspiracy implies intent, and I really doubt the CW, Warner Bros and everyone involved in the marketing choices cares that much. At most, I think that there was a misunderstanding of marketing/PR and now people are doubling down on trying to pretend it didn’t happen. But a conspiracy? Nope. This isn’t THAT important, and it would require a LOT of people involved to make things work.

Which is precisely why the rouge translator thing doesn’t work. Because you would need a conspiracy to MAKE Destiel canon in order for it to be real.

Second: As I write this, I still don’t have an answer from the voice actors. But rest assured, WHEN they reply (or we can organize a panel so YOU guys can ask directly), I will tell you the absolute truth. If I am wrong with my assumptions, and it WAS a rouge translator, I will let you know, and I will admit I was wrong. And if it was from the audio (say, a Jensen adlib) or the actual script? I will also let you know.

Third: I don’t doubt that Misha REALLY believes the rogue translator thing, if it was told to him by TPTB. There’s no reason to believe he knows how dubbing works in Mexico, nor how many people check the final product. Or that he even watched the episode, instead of believing it was a fan clip. Also, I respect him immensely and I don’t want any hate send his way.

That said, let’s go into how dubbing works, again.

For the sake of argument, I will start with the idea that yes, there was a “Rogue translator” who decided that THIS was the perfect moment to make Destiel canon. Not, say, Season 8 when he could have translated an “I need you” from Dean into an “I love you” when the god tablet thing happened, not in season 12, or during the purgatory prayers. No, the best moment was two episodes before the finale, when he had to know that Cas was not coming back.

And yes, the translator knew Cas was not coming back because when we translate series, we get them in packages of 5 episodes or more at the time. So they must have had 15x16 to 15x21 (The interview special) all together. So they knew that this was Cas’s exit from the series.

Now, in my previous post I said how in the old times, we used vhs tapes and paper copies of the shooting scripts (when they were available that was not always). Now a days, we get the video file and a word document (if we’re lucky. If not, we make the word file). Translate everything. Go through it AGAIN to make sure the lip sync matches and that we don’t have huge speeches when there’s a small window of time to say the speech because of the language differences. Check that we didn’t accidentally used a slang word that only Mexico would understand. If the show is not PG-13, make sure our swearwords are not too bad or too localized. THEN we send it to the studio, which prints about four copies of the script and hands it,and the video, to the Dub director.

The dub director then goes and re-watches every episode, while checking the script. Some directors don’t speak the language, so they’re just checking cadence, time, and the damned lip sync. (And if you, as a translator, don’t match the lip sync? You are either back to training or out of a word if you get too many strikes). So sure, you could slip a change of line there, IF the director doesn’t speak German, or Japanese, or Hindi.

But almost every single dub director speaks English. So a change from “Don’t do this, Cas” to “And I, you, Cas” would be noticed then and there, and changed to the right line. Which means that, for the rogue translator thing to work, we’d have to add also a rogue dub director.

And honestly, do you see a professional dub director with more than 15 years of experience (because you don’t give a series to a newbie, and Supernatural had the same dub director for all it’s run) risking his job for ONE line?

Anyway, in the times before the plague dub actors were called in groups to the study to record, in order to save audio tracks. So, for example, all the Inner Senshi would record together when doing Sailor Moon, and I assume in Supernatural, Sam and Dean’s lines would also be recorded together, while Dean and Cas might have been or not. Depending on times and so on. So you’d had at least 3 people in the studio: Dean’s VA, the dub director and the sound technician. ALL of them checking what was being said, what was in the script, and listening to the original audio.

Some actors would also make corrections to the script there, making some lines easier to read, and, again, checking those damn lip letters (Can you tell I HATE the lip letter thing?) . I remember fondly the VA for Sailor Jupiter, Araceli de Leon (RIP), who was known as “The Corrector”, since she would go through ALL the scripts for everyone with a red pen. The day I handed a script she didn’t find any corrections, I was jumping out of joy. So if 15x18 was recorded AT the dubbing studio? Someone who knew English could’ve caught the difference between the “Don’t do this” and the “And I you”, making it harder for our rogue translator to go unnoticed.

But let’s say it was recorded post-quarantine, when voice actors work alone at home, in their own private sound studios. I have no idea if they would have the director at hand through zoom, but I assume so. In any case, the VA would STILL have the original audio to know how the lines were said, and after 4 years of dubbing Dean Winchester, I will assume that the VA knows at the very least a little bit of English so if his script said “And I, you Cas” but he heard Jensen say “Don’t do it, Cas”, he would’ve made a correction there.

That’s now two people who would have to ignore the rouge translator’s actions, and even help them, in order for this theory to work.

And then the audio goes back to the director, who checks it again, makes sure it is lip synced and well acted, and sent to the audio technician who mixes it all, and now we have a THIRD person who could’ve said “Hey… uhm… this line? Is not what it says in the original” and by this time, we’d have to have a conspiracy to keep that “And I, you, Cas” in the final product.

Which brings me to person number four: Once the dubbing is done? It’s reviewed by the client (In this case, WB Latam), who gives the final say and CAN ask for redubs if necessary.

Story time. When I was doing this for a living, I got a series that had the WEIRDEST line ever. A line that made me triple check I was hearing things right (because it was a damn adlib that I couldn’t check with the script)

It was: “I’ve been listening to jazz even since I was a sperm swimming in my father’s testicles”.

So yeah.

I was a pro, so I didn’t censor it or change it and send it as it was to the director. Who OF COURSE called me and asked “Are you 100% sure that’s the line?” (This was in Japanese, and he didn’t speak Japanese. He trusted me). And I said “yeah, but if you need to change it, we can find another way to say “I’ve been a Jazz fan since before I was born”. “ He, Jack bless him, said “Nah. If that’s the original, let’s keep the original”.

The client was NOT amused and we had to change it in the final product.

Now, this was a throw away line by a secondary character that never appeared again in the series, in a small scene that probably only I remember. And the client still said “Nope, change that”. I’d like to believe that a line that changes the relationship between two main characters would have the same, if not more, scrutiny from TPTB.

Which makes now four people who would have had to either ignore the actions of the rogue translator, or actively participate in a conspiracy to make Destiel Latam canon.

Which, I dunno about you, sounds like way too much effort for something that was going to last for exactly one second before Cas got sucked into the Empty.

Someone made a mistake? Probably. But I am more willing to bet it was whoever sent the master video file to the studio than the dub studio, if that line wasn’t supposed to be there.

#Supernatural mexican dubbing #dean winchester is bilingual #dean winchester loves cas #they silenced you #mexican cas is a rogue translator #the character not the va #dubbing #the Winchester hermanos

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poohkeepsee · 3 years

Text

I was going through my AO3 bookmarks, and I wanted to organize them a little bit. These are my Dean/Cas canon-ish fic recs.

season 5

canticles by 2street2car Words: 10,311 Chapters: 1

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

FTBYAM MY BELOVED

post season 6

Someone Who's Feeling For Me by ellispark Words: 45,876 Chapters: 1

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

post bunker

Sun Can't Set Until Nine by LeverDrift Words: 67,939 Chapters: 16

Cas moves into the bunker as his powers start to fail. Dean doesn’t know if the arrangement is as permanent as he wants it to be. He's also not sure why he keeps dreaming about his friend. All he knows is that he wants Cas to stay. Overall warnings: canon-typical miscommunication & Dean having self-hatred issues.

Life Skills by ilovehowyouletmefall Words: 26,052 Chapters: 3

After Metatron steals Castiel's grace, and Cas comes to live in the bunker, Dean spends a lot of time with him, sharing all of his favourite things. Dean can't help it if sharing things with Cas just makes everything better. Besides, it's Dean's job as Cas' friend to introduce him to the joys of human life. To teach him how to be human. And if one of the experiences they end up sharing is sex with women, well... that's just part of Dean's job as Cas' friend too, right? The desire is triangulated, the rituals are intricate.

Sam Stole My Boyfriend by sobsicles Words: 8,445 Chapters: 1

“Dude, you’ve been staring at me a lot lately, like even enough that Sam noticed. More than usual. So, like, what’s up?” Dean pauses, purses his lips and reconsiders. “What did I do?”

Cas knows that would be a perfect time to confess to Dean what exactly happened and what he was thinking. Maybe, Dean had some insight into the situation or even some kind of comfort to offer. But, the longer that he sat there, he realized that he could not tell Dean absolutely anything. So instead, for the first time, Cas fumbled.

“Um,” Cas mutters and abruptly stands. “Freckles?”

Dean blinked up at him as Cas pivoted and left the room. There was only one remaining option he had and unfortunately, it involved Sam.

Aching in the Absence of You by sobsicles Words: 95,090 Chapters: 10

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back.

He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales.

"Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time.

By nightfall, Cas is gone.

'Communication' by JustAnotherSamlicker Words: 11,656

The same story told from two perspectives.

Dean bought a house and he and Cas fix it up.

Is Dean moving out? Is Cas moving in?

Should they just talk to each other already? (Yes they should)

Build a Home by domesticadventures Words: 20,102

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them.

He doesn't

season 10

The Most Important Thing by NorthernSparrow Words: 94,462 Chapters: 14

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

season 12

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord Words: 42,922 Chapters: 7

Canon-divergent from 12.08

season 13

i want to do with you (what spring does with cherry trees) by sobsicles Words: 74,173 Chapters: 8

Dean keeps going back.

When he arrives, it's always to blooming flowers and a windmill in the background, not too far from a brook, the sun painting the plains.

He likes it there. He likes to stand in front of the makeshift urn and check that it's still where he put it, switching out the flowers when they wilt. He likes to listen to the sound of birds chirping, insects singing, the faint sound of water trickling in the distance. He likes to turn his face up and feel the sun on his skin, wondering if Cas would do the same if he were here, somehow knowing that he would.

He likes to talk.

There's never a response, but Dean feels the breeze rustle through his hair and watches the flowers bob when bees come to them and stares as the windmill keeps turning, turning, turning. And he imagines that Cas is replying—the windmill is the tilted head, the bobbing flowers are a gentle smile, the breeze is whatever words Dean wants to hear at the time.

Sometimes, it's almost like he's there.

Trial and Tribulations of Raising a Nephilim by Sickandtiredofyou Words: 14,910 Chapters: 6

Dean has far too much on his plate, losing his mom, his best friend and now being a single parent to a newborn nephilim.

In which Jack is an actual newborn instead of a teenager.

post season 13

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination) by sobsicles Words: 108,427 Chapters: 4

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next.

Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want."

"What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before."

"Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out."

"Easier said than done."

Reasons to read this:

Dean reads a story that ends like despair and his reaction is FUCK THAT

Cas wears Dean's hoodie

Jack is a toddler

The Jack and Claire sibling energy we deserve

Eileen being awesome and pulling pranks with Dean while Sam thinks she's an angel

Sam knows

YOUR HONOR THEY'RE IN LOVE

First Date by aeli_kindara Words: 8,968 Chapters: 1

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

Also known as the Dean Winchester makes the first move fic.

season 14

Broken Road by thegeminisage Words: 109,629 Chapters: 7

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end.

post season 15

fools and pilgrims by lagaudiere Words: 31,904 Chapters: 2

Claire shows up at the bunker a day before Dean was planning to leave, with her hair cut short and a fresh tattoo on her left arm under a bandage. Chuck is dead, Jack has given up his godlike powers, and Cas is back from the Empty, which doesn't make it any easier for Dean to talk to him. Suddenly finding himself in a world without monsters, supernatural forces, or any need for hunters, Dean's solution is to go on a road trip. Claire tags along.

Dean-Claire mirror fic post Despair

what's missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles Words: 27,403

canon(?) au (Hunters and Men of Letters)

Dean Winchester's Secret (Angel) Boyfriend by reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Words: 11,191 Chapters: 1

Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.

But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas...

Shot Through The Heart by peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) Words: 11,191 Chapters: 1

Dean is a hunter.

Castiel is a Man of Letters.

And even though they have to work together on a regular basis, there is not much sympathy between them. Castiel thinks Dean too brash and reckless while Dean in return sees nothing more in the other man than a rude asshole with an obsessive love for books and a truly terrible fashion sense.

But fate clearly has a funny way of throwing those two together over and over again.

And somewhere along the way feelings change into something neither of them would have expected.

#destiel #deancas #fic recs

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destieltropecollection · 3 years

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Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 24: Domestic

16 fics under the cut

Kisses And Breakfast | @vampamber

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,141 Main Tags/Warnings: married Destiel, implied sexual content, fluff Summary: Just another morning in the Winchester-Novak household. Dean trying to be a sweetie by making breakfast for his husband, and Castiel not liking the fact that he decided to do it so damn early in the morning. But it was such a cute gesture, plus there was bacon, so Castiel eventually forgives Dean. Because, you know, bacon. But also because he loves his husband.

Leeches | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: General Word Count: 1,208 Main Tags/Warnings: Bunker fic, Netflix passwords, Flustered Dean Winchester, Embarassed Dean Winchester Summary: Sharing a Netflix makes sense, in hindsight. Dean gets it. But that doesn’t mean he appreciates seeing a bunch of profiles after his that weren’t there last he checked. He’s gonna get to the bottom of this - of when this happened, why, and how they were able to guess his password.

Lady And The Tramp | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 1,501 Main Tags/Warnings: drunk Dean, annoyed Cas, established relationship, Disney references Summary: Castiel loves his boyfriend Dean, even when he’s being an adorable drunken idiot. So when drunk Dean starts talking about the kiss scene with the spaghetti from Lady And The Tramp, what else is there for him to do but go out and buy spaghetti noodles?

Angel Dreams | @envydean

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2,033 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Domestic Dean, Dean’s Birthday, Pie AND Cake, character injury, Pining Summary: When Dean ends up unconscious after a hunt, Castiel finds his way into Dean’s dreams only to find a domestic bliss that they both want and need.

The shirt in the dispute (and other laundry feuds) | @chaoticdean

Rating: General Word Count: 2,099 Main Tags/Warnings: Domestic Fluff, Domestic Disputes, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Misunderstandings Summary: It all starts off with a sordid affair of mixed laundry, and somehow it’s World War III in the Men of Letter’s bunker (or the one where Castiel mess a batch of laundry up, and Dean’s Led Zeppelin shirt bites the dust)

Happy Plant Parents | @fpwoper

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2,666 Main Tags/Warnings: Marijuana, Sex Pollen, (Mutual) Masturbation, Dean and Cas are Neighbours Summary: Dean and Cas share a hallway between their apartments, and it tends to smell like weed. Cas promises to bring in plants to help filter the air, and Dean asks Cas to come over for dinner to discuss a schedule to co-parent all the plants decorating their hallway.

Summer Days | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: General Word Count: 2,788 Main Tags/Warnings: Summer Vacation, Gen, Team Free Will, Beach Summary: Finally having some time off, Dean decides they need to take some real, nice, summer vacation.

Feline | @castielscarma

Rating: General Word Count: 3,597 Main Tags/Warnings: Light angst, love confessions Summary: Cas finds a stray outside the Bunker and decides to bring it home. Little does he know that the cat will come to be instrumental in bringing him closer to Dean.

Bittersweet | @wynterfiel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 6,000 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Accountant!Castiel, Gardener!Dean, Kid Fic, Baby Jack Kline, Parenthood, Meet-Cute, Fluff, Light Angst, Domestic Dean/Castiel Summary: A successful work transfer later and Castiel finds himself away from stuffy New York with his baby nephew, Jack. Christmas wasn’t a priority until Castiel realised it would be Jack’s first and maybe he should put in the effort. This endeavour leads him straight to Winchester Nursery and Flower Shop.

we’ll find a new home | @holyfirecircle

Rating: General Word Count: 7,860 Main Tags/Warnings: Love confessions, pining, cooking as a love language, Human!Cas, finale never happened, Summary: After Cas comes home, Dean starts cooking like crazy. He thinks he might be compensating for something.

Home | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: General Word Count: 10,039 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Domestic Summary: There are apocalypses and monsters and nightmares. But between all of this Dean and Castiel are just trying to manage their lives together. And that turns out to become surprisingly domestic.

stop the world from turning | iCeDreams (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10,690 Main Tags/Warnings: COVID-19 related, canon, top!Cas/bottom!Dean, Bunker fic Summary: Castiel’s long existence is defined by blocks of time he’s carved out for himself. As an angel, he was part of the Host, but never quite one of them. Now, in the bunker with the Winchesters and Jack, it’s time to fill the empty spaces the Host left with the family he’s chosen. – OR… a look at what Castiel does for 24 hours with stay-at-home orders in the Men of Letters Bunker.

Welcome to Pine Shores! | @andimeantittosting

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 20,901 Main Tags/Warnings: Future Fic, Human Cas, Mutual Pining, Middle-aged Dean and Cas, top!dean/bottom!cas Summary: Thirteen years ago, Dean, with Cas by his side, bought the run-down Pine Shores Motel, and made it into a home and a stopping place for hunters. In those thirteen years, he has never been able to bring himself to admit his feelings to Cas—after all, why rock the boat? But, Dean realizes, doesn’t Cas deserve more than just growing old in a shabby motel with Dean? Surely, as a good friend, it’s Dean’s job to encourage Cas to get out there and live his dreams.

late july | @thanks-tacos

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 26,669 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha Castiel (Supernatural),Top Castiel, Omega Dean, Bottom Dean,Hurt/Comfort,Mute Dean Winchester,Bookstore Owner Castiel,Past Abuse,Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con,Happy Ending,Slow Burn Summary: ‘I would like to take in your most abused one,’ Castiel says, looking at the rows of doors in the yellow corridor. 'Give him a good home.’ After his accident, Castiel needs someone to help him around the small brick house he lives in and the bookstore he owns. So, he adopts Dean; an omega who barely survived being dumped in a ditch and left for dead. Dean doesn’t talk, but that’s fine; they learn to live together in the quaint, rainy city surrounded by a green forest. Castiel just wants to give Dean a peaceful life he deserves, and maybe also - become his mate?

Prayer in G | ValandraEvans (AO3)

Rating: Mature Word Count: 102,870 Main Tags/Warnings: AU - All Human, Top!Castiel, Bottom!Dean, Happy Ending, Openly BiSexual Dean, Conversion Therapy Trauma Summary: Castiel Novak just finished his third year of Seminary School and is about to undertake his fieldwork assignment in Sioux Falls, SD. He’s been assigned to assist Reverent Michael at the evangelical Church of Divine Light in the community outreach program. Dean Winchester lives on the outskirts of Sioux Falls in a log cabin he built himself. He hunts and fishes and other than the occasional trip into town for supplies or visit from his best friend Charlie or brother Sam is happy with his reclusive life. When Castiel shows up at Dean’s door, bags in tow, this wasn’t exactly the favor he thought he was doing for Sherif Jody Mills when she asked if he was up for taking in a border for a few months. Now he was stuck with the nerdy wanna-be minister with eyes so blue, Dean swears he can see heaven in them.

Life is like a Hallmark movie (WIP) | @hallmarkdestiel,

Rating: General Word Count: 124,626 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow burn Firefighter Dean Doctor Castiel PTSD Summary: Castiel Novak is a big city Doctor. Dean Winchester is a small town farmer. The Family farm is being threatened by the Bank. At first, Dean and Castiel hate each other but Can true love save the day in time for Christmas in Cottonwood Falls, Kansas?

#destiel trope collection 2021 #day 24 #domestic #destiel #supernatural #fanfic

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imagineteamfreewill · 3 years

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Here’s to Witches

Title: Here’s to Witches

Pairing: Reader x Sam

Word Count: 1,331

Warnings: None

Summary: Sam and the reader are each gifted something after saving a group of housewives on a hunt, and Sam’s gift is exponentially more... enthusiastic than the reader’s.

A/N: This is completely unedited, so please excuse any mistakes. If you see any glaring ones, please feel free to (politely) send me an ask or a message so I can go in and fix it. The gifs that inspired this fic can be found at the end because I thought they were too cute to not include. Also, feedback makes the world go round and makes my blog a lot more enjoyable for everyone! Please reblog this fic with your thoughts or send me an ask or a message to tell me what you think. Enjoy!

_______________

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this happy,” you said as you leaned against the dresser. The knobs dug into the small of your back and your shoulders but you ignored them as Sam looked up at you with a wide smile.

“I just can’t believe this is real,” he replied.

Bones jumped up on his hind legs, pushing himself slightly off the floor as he tried to regain Sam’s full attention. He succeeded and you couldn’t help but laugh at the way Sam raised the pitch of his voice to talk to his new—or rather, old—furry friend.

“You know, when the witch said she’d brought back someone dear to your heart, I figured we’d come back to the motel to find Bobby or something.”

Sam glanced up at you again, his smile undimmed. “I didn’t think it would be Bones either, but honestly…”

Smiling, you moved away from the dresser to see if your phone had regained some battery. It had died on the way back from the abandoned winery where the coven had been holding its meetings. Thankfully, you hadn’t needed it to call for help. The coven was more domestic than anything you’d ever encountered on a hunt; the witches mostly used their magic to bring dead houseplants back to life, get the smell out of laundry they’d forgotten in the washer, and thaw meat that they’d taken out of the freezer an hour or two too late. You’d been in the midst of trying to figure out how to ask them to stick with what they knew when the real troublemakers had shown up, figurative guns blazing, in an attempt to harm the housewives who were in almost too deep.

You and Sam had eradicated the bad witches with relative ease and the handful of women had been so grateful to you that they’d put their collective energies together to give you each a gift. They’d given you something you’d thought long gone—a box of photos from your childhood—and they’d promised Sam something “dear to his heart”.

After unlocking your phone, you quietly placed an order for a few pizzas, knowing that Sam was probably starving after the busy day you’d had. You were about to press the submit button when something bumped against your leg.

“I think he likes you,” Sam said, and you looked down to find Bones sitting at your feet. He was giving you a heart-warming doggy smile and his tail was going a mile a minute. It was almost comical how hard he was trying to sit despite the fact that his butt was wiggling right along with his tail.

You chuckled and crouched down to run your hand over Bones’ back. “Hey buddy! Are you hungry too? Is that why you came over here?” you cooed. Your voice jumped up an octave, just like Sam’s had, but Bones responded quickly and was up in your face as he tried to get as much of your attention and touch as possible.

Sam laughed too, standing up and stretching his arms above his head while he watched. He was clearly enjoying having Bones around and in the back of your mind, you sent up a silent prayer that this wasn’t a temporary thing. If Bones was ripped away from him, it would be a heartbreaking loss. Sam had already suffered so much and you wanted to ensure as much as you could that when he wasn’t on a hunt, he was happy and comfortable.

“You want some pepperoni, Bones? Huh?”

The dog yipped in response and you grinned, then stood. You quickly placed the order on your phone while Bones tried to get more attention from Sam.

“Pizza should be here in about an hour,” you said, and Sam nodded. “So what do we do now? Think Dean’ll be okay with Bones being at the bunker? And in the Impala, for that matter?”

Sam shrugged. Bones was standing on the bed now so that Sam could pet him without having to sit down or bend over.

“Okay, well maybe we should pick up supplies before we get back,” you suggested. “That way, Dean can’t say it would be easy to get rid of him. And we should probably make an appointment with the vet in town, too…”

You pulled out your phone again, but as you were starting to research the veterinarian offices in Lebanon, you felt Sam’s eyes on you. Slowly, you glanced up from your phone and met his gaze.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Sam answered, shaking his head with a smile. “I’m just happy.”

“Okay… Weirdo.” You went back to the website. After another minute or two, you still felt Sam’s eyes on you and you sighed, dropping your hand down to your side so you could fully look at him. “What? Why are you staring at me, Sam?” The question came out with a laugh and Sam’s smile widened.

“I don’t know. I’m just… happy. I’m happy that you’re okay with this,” he said.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You love him and I think having a dog would be great.”

"Well I knew you liked dogs, but the last time we talked about getting one, you said that you didn’t think it would be a great idea. What changed?”

Shrugging, you tucked your phone in your pocket and went over to them, making sure to start petting Bones immediately so you wouldn’t get licked in the face again. You pointedly avoided making eye contact with Sam, instead focusing on the retriever who was practically vibrating with happiness at all the attention he was getting from the two of you.

“Honestly? I don’t know,” you answered. “I guess it’s because I don’t want you to have to give him up, you know? I like to see you happy, and Bones makes you happy. He makes me happy, too,” you added, knowing that Sam would call you out on it if you didn’t.

Sam hummed in response, and the two of you continued to pet Bones in silence, only occasionally laughing or talking to the dog when it felt right.

An hour later, you were setting up the pizza while Sam took Bones outside for a break. The dog had come with his own collar—thank you, witches!—but he’d had to find a rope in the trunk of the Impala to use as a leash.

“It smells good!” Sam said as he opened the door and stepped inside. You glanced over at him with a smile, then laughed when you saw Bones pulling at the makeshift leash to get nearer to the table. When Sam dropped it, he made a beeline for the pizzas and you had to quickly shove him back down onto all four legs so that your dinner didn’t come with a side of dog hair.

“Whoa, buddy! Easy, calm down! You’ll get your dinner soon enough!”

Sam was grinning from ear to ear and you grinned back, feeling the contagious joy bubble up inside of you.

“Pepperoni?” he asked, and you nodded, grabbing the little container full of slices they’d included and holding it out for him. Bones tracked the movement intently and you laughed again as Sam grabbed it and pulled off the lid.

Instantly, Bones was sitting down, his tail wagging as he stared up at Sam.

“Well, at least he knows to sit,” you laughed. Sam laughed too, and soon the three of you were chowing down on your respective dinners.

We’re like a little family, you thought as you settled down beside Sam against the headboard. You’d both torn the top of the pizza boxes off so that the box was easier to hold in your lap, and he’d turned on a mindless movie while you’d made sure Bones had water.

“Here’s to happy endings,” Sam said, holding out his beer.

You clinked yours against it with a smile, then a quiet chuckle. “And here’s to witches, which is something I’d never thought I’d say!”

(Gifs are by @frodo-sam can be found here. I couldn’t find them in the tumblr gif search or I would have included them that way, sorry!)

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sidecarghost · 3 years

Text

(x)

Proof Castiel is Sam Winchester’s blurry non-gendered spouse.

Y yo at ti, Cas.

And I, you.

Castiel honoring Dean’s wishes. And watches over Sam for the rest of his life.

Spn 11x23 Alpha and Omega

CAS: I could go with you.

DEAN: No, I got to do this alone. Listen, if—when—when this works, Sam—he's gonna be a mess. So look out for him, okay? Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.

CAS: Of course.

DEAN: [places his hand on Cas’s shoulder] Thank you for everything.

I think Sastiel would have fun married couple adventures. And they’d both be amazing dads for their son Dean. Cas probably splits his time between cosmic duties with Jack and time with Sam. So his presence is more in the background and out of focus then attention demanding.

Sam and Cas both miss Dean terribly, but they accept Dean just wasn’t ready to flip that hourglass over one more time for a chance at a normal life. And even though they can’t understand it they respect that it was Dean’s choice to make.

Getting married wasn’t planned by Sam and Cas, but they both consoled each other over Dean’s violent passing at a young age. And Sam wanted to hunt but knew better than to hunt on his own so he prayed to Cas, and Cas came to help. When Cas learned Dean Winchester died from getting jabbed by pointy rebar he was devastated. Dean didn’t pray to him, so Cas kept his distance from Heaven. He figured Dean would call when he was ready for him. Or if he was ever ready for him.

Cas knew Dean would want Sam to have a good life, so Cas picked that as his new mission and made sure to carry foam packs to cover pointy metal wherever Sam went. Sam rolled his eyes at Cas’s attempt to baby proof the Earth but he was touched to see the angel pull himself out of his own misery to watch over Sam.

After months of monster hunting Sam told Cas he was quitting. The hunting had been a way to cope with the soul crushing sorrow of losing his brother. But hunting wasn’t who he was anymore. Castiel thought and nodded. He thought the Winchester’s had bled enough for humanity and deserved some peace.

~~ I meant to poke at this idea a little bit, but it got lengthy and remainder is under the cut. And it’s just a happy Sastiel fic pretty much following the finale without much deviation, but is meant to make the whole Sam montage less soulless. I don’t have any resolution for Dean, because Dean’s character is just ruined for me at the moment. His meaningless death in series finale still prevents me from writing anything remotely cheerful for Dean. So I’m just avoiding doing anything more than mentioning him.~~

Sam and Castiel rented a little house, because the bunker was too depressing to live in. Castiel called in a favor with Jack to expunge all the Winchester’s public records. Sam and Dean were now upstanding citizens with a spotless record. Dean’s obituary now stated he died during a construction accident while working on a barn. Castiel had a mausoleum built for the Winchester’s, and even though Dean’s remains had been burned he tracked down every molecule of scattered carbon ash that had been part of Dean and set it in his coffin. He also held a second service for the hunter that was a huge affair exactly as Dean had wished for when he faced off against Amara.

Meanwhile, Sam Winchester had started taking night courses to get his law degree and pass the bar exam. With his spotless record he was able to become a prosecuting attorney and did amazing work bringing criminals to justice within the judicial system.

Castiel ends up being really good at dog training after working with Miracle on obedience and agility training. So he starts a dog training school for pet owners to learn how to train their pets without any harsh methods.

One day around Christmas, Sam and Cas are sitting on the couch watching some lgbt hallmark Christmas movie and drinking eggnog. Cas leans his head on Sam’s chest, and they start kissing and they don’t stop. Maybe they both still missed Dean and were just looking for a distraction or maybe they both had slowly fallen in love with each other over the years. They have a small ceremony and Castiel spends the rest of his immortal life proudly bearing the Winchester last name as his own.

Angel reproduction may grant human vessels hermaphrodite sex organs or maybe Sam finds a spell that lets Cas or himself swap sex. Whatever the case, they decide to have a family and nine months later their son Dean is born. Dean is a nephilim, and he has a good heart and a kind soul just like his dads. And he also has all the selflessness and sensitivity of his deceased uncle enjoying a solitary road trip across Heaven.

Original Charlie was brought back by Jack, (along with everyone else that had sacrificed their lives and wanted to have another chance to live a normal life). Charlie buys baby Dean the most obnoxious toddler overalls ever with the name “Dean” embroidered in bright yellow across the front. Sam takes one look at them and after a fit of laughter gets ready to throw them in the trash, but Castiel starts tearing up over them and traces out the letters. Sam doesn’t have the heart to tell him how ridiculous the pants look, so he just smiles at Cas and places a hand reassuringly on Cas’s waist and hopes Dean isn’t looking down from Heaven and seeing that outfit.

Sam lives a long life, and his death occurs at an old age while in hospice care at their home. Castiel knew Sam’s life was coming to an end, and he had been keeping an eye out for the reaper that would come to collect Sam’s soul. And finally one day he sees a reaper beside the bedside of his beloved. Cas fetched their son Dean to Sam’s bedside. He wants their son to have a chance to say goodbye to Sam while he’s alive, and then Cas will accompany Sam’s soul to Heaven. Castiel watches invisibly next to the quiet reaper standing nearby. He still feels a terrible ache in his heart that Dean had missed out on growing old.

After all this time, Castiel had still never heard a prayer from Dean. Bobby had told Castiel that he mentioned to Dean his rescue by Jack from the Empty. But that Dean had taken off in the Impala after that. It seemed that Bobby couldn’t resist busting Dean’s chops about John Winchester living next door. Maybe that attempt at a joke shook Dean, and he just needed 40 years to collect himself.

Regardless of the reason for Dean’s silence, Castiel thinks about the best way to facilitate the reunion of Sam and Dean without causing Dean any distress. Castiel decides he’ll stay invisible when Sam and Dean get their reunion in Heaven. He’ll let Sam tell Dean when he is ready, or maybe Dean will ask about him and that makes him smile softly to himself.

With that settled Cas lets his attention rest on his son. He is so proud of his and Sam’s son, and he is sure Dean will be proud of his nephew too. Their son will be able to visit freely between Heaven and Earth so this goodbye isn’t the end for them.

Sam and Cas’s son, Dean, leans over the recumbent body of Sam Winchester and kisses him goodbye and tells him it’s okay to go. Sam’s eyes close for the final time. Then, a moment later, Sam’s soul is standing next to Castiel and the reaper. All the years have vanished from Sam’s appearance, and Cas is looking at the same young man he had fallen in love with watching formulaic romcoms some 40 years ago. Their son, Dean, can still see Sam, because his nephilim abilities let him pierce the Veil. He embraces his dad, and Sam tells his son to come visit him in Heaven whenever he wants, and Sam whispers to his son to promise to take good care of Castiel for him. Their son, Dean, nods with sincerity and whispers back to his dad Sam that he’ll keep that promise for the rest of his life.

Sam turns towards Castiel and the lovers share a passionate kiss. All the chronic pain from Sam’s failing health is gone. And Cas feels a rush of excitement from Sam’s rising libido. Cas kind of wishes the reaper and his son weren’t standing right there at this moment. Sam notices Castiel’s discomfort and laughs. He then offers his husband his hand to hold. Castiel gazes at Sam’s face with eyes full of love and takes hold of Sam’s hand.

Castiel locks on to the location of Dean’s soul in Heaven. He unfurls his majestic rainbow wings and flies Sam to a few feet behind his brother on the bridge. After he sets Sam down he sees Dean smile, and he hears the brothers greet each other. Castiel remains invisible and he sees the reaper responsible for Sam nod and teleport away. Castiel feels tears come to his eyes watching the two brothers have the reunion they have deserved for so long. He watches them embrace and smiles to himself.

A moment later Castiel teleports back to his home with his son Dean. The father and son hug, and Castiel begins making plans for a celebration of the life of Sam Winchester. He wants the funeral of Sam to be the biggest ever seen in their state. Sam and Dean had been true heroes and their memory deserved no less. The mausoleum where Sam and Dean’s remains rest will be guarded for eternity by the angel that loved them beyond all logic and reason.

While Castiel makes himself busy planning, his son Dean helps tidy the house and stumbles over a board game. “Hey dad, how do you play Twister?” Dean asks. Castiel can’t resist smiling and begins to explain the rules of the game to his son. “Can we bring some of these games to Heaven when we visit dad Sam and uncle Dean?” Dean asks. “Yes, I think that’s a great idea,” Cas smiles to his son thinking back to playing “Sorry” with Dean and “Connect 4″ with Jack. He feels like those were memories from yesterday and not decades ago. But decades is barely a moment relative to the immortal life of an angel.

“These games are special, Dean, because they give us the most precious thing in the universe,” Castiel tells his son. “They give us time spent enjoying the company of our loved ones. I haven’t spent very long on Earth in the company of humanity, but in my short time here I learned that time is a gift. It’s the most precious gift we can give the people we love. And spending that time on big gestures is never as fulfilling as just all the little things we can do together. The grand gestures seems to get forgotten rather quickly by those closest to use. Big events are important for posterity and the history books, and they are important for shaping the world we live in. I want Sam and Dean to have a big, beautiful funeral so their memory lives on for the people that didn’t know them well. The big funeral isn’t so much about me honoring them, as me keeping their story alive for posterity. But honoring them is even more important to me, and I honor them with every decision I make, for every moment of the day, for the rest of my existence. I choose the selfless and sensitive choice that Dean would have chosen, and I choose the courageous and loyal choice that Sam would have chosen. Humans were never meant to be grand visions set on a pedestal, they were meant to be appreciated on a much smaller scale along with full attention to their strengths and their quirks.

“And our life spent together hurtling through space in orbit around a star is oddly enough defined by the mundane. The simple times spent together are the treasures that we seem ideally equipped to hold close and carry on.”

#sastiel endgame #Spn ending #Sastiel #Sam Winchester #Castiel #spn 15x20 #spn 4x07 #Spn 7x21 #spn 9x11 #spn 10x05 #spn 11x23 #spn 12x09

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whenwordsmakesense · 3 years

Text

Day 5: Asexual

@pridewrite2021

Here you can find my masterlist for this beautiful event <3

You’re Not Broken

Fandom: Supernatural

Ships: Dean Winchester × Castiel | Sam Winchester × Eileen Leeahy

Words: 1.5k

Summary: Dean Winchester has done many things in his life that normal people would find either absurd or completely unbelievable. Which isn't something bad, ‘Ignorance is bliss’ is literally the hunter's motto, and he doesn't mind not being normal most of the time.

‘Most of the time’ also happens to be either hunting mythical creatures or cuddling and snuggling with his partner who is a literal Angel of The Lord with all the capital letters, and not his three-year-old son wearing the face and body of a definitely-older-than-sixteen's of his own asking him as to how he knows if he wants to have sex with someone.

You can read it on AO3 or here.

Warnings: Swearing, (mild) talk of sex.

>> Starts from here onwards.

Dean Winchester has done many things in his life that normal people would find either absurd or completely unbelievable. Which isn't something bad, ‘Ignorance is bliss’ is literally the hunter's motto, and he doesn't mind not being normal most of the time.

Dean chokes on his beer. Sam, the bastard that he is, laughs and then tries to hide it with a cough, which offends him because come on, Sam can do better than that.

Dean glares at him until Sam walks out of the kitchen with his shaggy hair trailing behind him—he loves Eileen, he does, but proclaiming that she loves his little brother with longer hair doesn't put her in his good graces—and his hands up in a placating gesture as Jack looks between the two brothers with his trademark confused look. Being God with the capital G has done nothing to educate the poor kid.

He knows he told Cas to bring back the supplies to make apple pies, but he fervently wishes that they were here so that Dean could chuck their kid at them for this bit. Cas was an Angel and their kid is God, surely Jack can see the prevalent logic?

“Dean?” As it turns out, Jack doesn't, and Dean sighs. He checks how much beer he has left in the bottle—it's half-full—and settles down properly on his seat as he thinks on how to explain that.

“Do you know about the... Uh, details?” He gestures vaguely below the table, and shit, he's so glad he got his own bird and the bees talk from the porn magazines and the amazing thing that is the internet and not from his own dad.

Jack nods. “Yes.” Dean waits for more, but there's no more words. Ever since Jack took up the mantle after his psycho grandpa, the kid's been all ‘mysterious ways’ with his words and actions. It would be annoying if not for Cas' apparent excitement over how well Jack's doing at the job.

Dean is a total simp for his partner and he knows it, but he would never admit it. At least his kid knows the meaning of personal boundaries and doesn't mind fuck with any of them.

“Okay, okay.” He tries to think of an answer besides the cheesy, “You'll know when you are in love,” because frankly, he doesn't believe in that. He might believe, hell, knows that sex with someone you love is far, far better than a random one-night-stand, but he's also fucked around in his younger years and it's not half-bad.

Examples. Those help. Right.

“Alright kid. Anyone you find attractive?”

Jack looks at him with an honestly-to-Jack blush, and Dean cracks a smile.

“Nice. So, imagine your crush, and think of how beautiful they are. Do you feel the need to be closer to them?”

Jack thinks for a moment, and then nods. “I want to hear about Clark's day and stuff,” he says nervously. A lightbulb lights up in the back of Dean's mind, he's heard the name before, but he can't remember. “And I want to share my nougat with him.”

It sounds like his kid is already falling in love. And, Jesus, he's been all omnipresent for what, three, four weeks? And sharing nougat—that's basically sharing rings.

“Uh huh. Did your late night ‘I'm answering a prayer’ calls were false?” Jack blushes and looks down. Dean isn't angry. He isn't. “Cas will be disappointed...” he says. And it's the truth. They were really excited about Jack being a good God.

“Not all of them!” Jack tells him with a panicked look. “I did answer prayers. One of it was his and I... kind of go there every night now?” He says it as if he doesn't want to, and Dean takes pity on him. Doing some work, if not all, is at least progress.

“It's alright kid.” He reassures Jack and the kid literally melts off all his tension. “Sounds like someone might be in love,” he teases. “Do you just creepily watch him as he sleeps or do you talk to him?”

Jack gives him an unamused bitch face which he's clearly learned from Sam. “We talk. I'm not Cas, and I'm sure there's never going to be a slow-burn as long as your relationship.”

Dean makes the executive decision of ignoring the words he doesn't understand. Ignorance is indeed bliss.

He gives Jack the patented Winchester look of ‘talk now or forever hold your peace because I'm going to kill you to death’ except only the first two words apply here.

“I know,” the kid mumbles, and Dean cocks an eyebrow at him. “I don't feel like... Claire showed me a website before all of this.” He tells Dean, gesturing at himself to completely drive home the point of ‘before I became God’. Dean sighs, because of course. Claire would do that. She's an annoying kid like that.

“Most of the time you shouldn't try to imitate porn.” He tells Jack wryly. The kid visibly turns green and red at the same time. It's impressive.

There's an awkward silence. Dean shuffles in his seat and drinks the entirety of his remaining beer in one go. It burns, but at least it's a distraction.

“I don't feel like that,” Jack finally says. Dean figures the sooner this is over, the better for the both of them.

“Like what?”

Perhaps Jack feels the same, because he doesn't pause, just babbles. Maybe it's more out of nervousness, but it's progress from perpetual embarassment and no way out, so Dean takes it.

“I want to get closer to him, but I don't want to do other things, you know? I don't want his genitals in me or mine in his, I don't even want his tongue in mine and it's confusing because I feel like I love him and he's beautiful and he's so nice but I don't want to have sex with him and I just—I don't know. I don't know,” Jack finishes with a hiccup, and soon he's crying. Dean feels uncomfortable for only a second before he's flying out of his seat and hugging Jack close.

“Aw, hell, kid.” He mumbles into Jack's hair and rocks them both.

They stay like that until Jack's crying has mostly subsided, and when Dean looks up it's to see Cas looking at them with worry from the entrance of the kitchen.

Jack spots him too and hurries to compose himself. He tries to, at least. Dean shakes his head at his partner and mouths, “I'll tell you later.” Then he guides the kid towards the main room where he's kept his laptop, leaving Cas in the kitchen with a chaste kiss and a reassuring smile.

When he'd lost Cas to the Empty, it'd been worse than hell. Worse than purgatory. His heart had felt had empty and he really didn't want to move from the wall, the world be damned. He hadn't known he'd been not straight up until then—that he loved Cas like that. Sure, he'd experimented with Lee once or twice in their youth, but it was experiment. Right?

Wrong.

Turns out there are a lot of people who think like that—who don't know how they feel and why they feel and if they're valid. And as scary as the internet is, it's sometimes useful, too.

The moment Cas had been back he'd hugged the bastard tight, told him he's stupid for having done that, and proceeded to search the shit out of the internet for what he felt.

He's bisexual. He enjoys sex with both men and women. And he's demiromantic—he only loves those he's known and trusted emotionally first. And Cas, he loves them to pieces, from every pore of his own soul, his cells.

There's tons more terms, and if Dean is correct, then Jack is asexual.

The internet helped Dean, so he's hoping it will help Jack, too. He's God, but that doesn't mean he doesn't need a guiding hand—doesn't need support.

And Dean will be that for him. He loves the kid to pieces, too.

It takes Jack just ten-minutes of research to realise he's indeed asexual and another twenty to figure out he's panromantic—he loves the soul, not the body it comes in—but it takes days to accept he's not broken. It's heartbreaking, but when the norm is heterosexual couples and tons and tons of sex, it's not really that surprising.

Cas and Sam both promise to break Clark's kneecaps if he tries anything or forces Jack, and Dean just hugs his kid tighter to himself as Jack nods and laughs for the first time in days.

#supernatural #my fic #pridewrite2021 #day 5 #asexual #castiel/dean winchester #sam winchester/eileen leehay #bisexual dean winchester #non binary Cas #whenwordsmakesense

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icefire149 · 3 years

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An Angel’s Vow

[Dean/Castiel - Season 12 divergence where Cas was the only one with Kelly when she gave birth and he goes on the run/in hiding with baby Jack. He’s trying his hardest to be a good dad.]

Chapter One - (Or Read on AO3)

It was the third car he ditched, and the fourth he’d stolen today. Cas knew that he was being excessive at this point, especially with the erratic out of the way routes and doubling back he’d been doing in case he was being followed. He couldn’t afford a mistake. Not now.

His gaze slid over to the rear-view mirror for probably the thousandth time today. Still, there in his eye line was Jack sleeping in his car seat. The sight unnerved him every time.

Reading books, watching videos, taking online classes were all one thing, but...actually taking care of a child was a completely different experience. Jack wasn’t even twenty-four hours old yet, and Cas had already frozen in panic and broke down crying more times than he’d care to admit.

They crossed over the state line into Washington. Cas’ grip tightened on the steering wheel. What he wanted most was to be going in the opposite direction. To an extent, yes, the Men of Letters Bunker would be safe for Jack, but nowhere was going to offer the protection they needed from Heaven. His body ached to head for Kansas, because after these last several years on Earth, Cas was starting to associate the feeling of home with the Winchesters. And home was something he badly wanted for Jack.

The sun was rising when they drove up to the small cabin in North Cove. Cas parked the car, but he didn’t move from his seat. Guilt was coiling and tightening around his throat for the entire drive, but it was only now with the house looming over him that he desperately felt like clawing for air. It wasn’t fair what happened to Kelly.

The next several weeks were bumpy. Jack was definitely growing faster than human babies his age, but no where near as fast as Amara. Whether any of that was a good or a bad thing, Cas had no idea. The nephilim was an utter mystery to him. At the very least, as far as Cas could tell...Jack was a happy baby.

That was the only thing that kept Cas grounded while he tried to master the finesse of diaper changes, formula, and wrangling wiggling baby limbs. What didn’t help was the disharmonious tune of longing encircling him. Some days it was quiet like a lullaby, but others it was erratic and thunderous. The worse days were the ones where there was nothing at all.

It stung, but he knew that Dean wasn’t intentionally praying to him. He would if he absolutely needed to, but Dean was stubborn. Cas figured that even if Jack was aware of the situation, his reasoning skills were sufficient enough to surmise Dean was angry and that he wanted Cas to return to the bunker just so he could be told exactly so.

Castiel was in no mood to be chastised for doing exactly what Dean would do if the situation was reversed. The man’s double standards were maddening.

Today though was different. Cas was busy at the kitchen sink washing dishes when he heard a whisper. Castiel? Are you there? He dropped the small bowl that was in his hand. It splashed soapy water back up at him. You better be alive.

He stood there waiting for several minutes after that, but there was nothing else to the prayer. That was it. Cas picked up the dish towel on the counter and dried his hands, looking over his shoulder at Jack in his high chair.

Jack’s smile widened when they made eye contact. He started lightly tapping the palms of his hands on the tray part of the chair.

“Is it okay if I make a quick phone call?”

Jack’s head tilted to the side while he babbled.

The soft smile on Cas’ face grew. “I know. I know. We’re supposed to be off the grid hiding.” Cas dug his cell phone out of his coat’s inside pocket. He looked at the black screen before looking back at the baby. “It’ll only be for a minute. And after all this time there’s no way anyone is watching close enough to find us, right?”

Jack continued to babble away while he tried to wave every limb he could. Even his metaphysical wings.

Cas couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight. He knew this was Jack’s way of signaling he would like to be released from the chair’s confinement. “Can you wait until I’m done with my phone call, and then we can sit in the other room? It won’t be long.”

Jack stopped his wiggling and went back to rubbing the palms of his hands all over the chair. Cas took that as a, yes. Sighing, he leaned his back against the edge of the counter and turned his phone on.

It came to life and buzzed erratically for a couple minutes. Cas wasn’t sure what to do other than wait for it to stop. Even Jack was eyeing the phone oddly. Eventually, the buzzing ceased and Cas discovered that he had: over a dozen missed calls, tons of text messages, and a couple voice mails.

He groaned. It was bad enough that he had to keep track of the phone at all times, but what he really hated were the angry, red notification icons. So Cas did what he had to and cleared them out. All the missed calls were from Dean and they were consistent. He never went more than four days without calling. Cas opened the text messages next. The majority were again, from Dean.

Cas opened the ones from Sam first: Hey, I know you’re doing what you think is best but please pick up the phone once in a while.

Hey, is there any chance you can let Dean win the competition for being the most stubborn bastard this time and call him back? He’s driving me insane.

I saw on the news an aerial shot of the blast zone. I hope you and the baby are safe. Send us any kind of sign that you’re okay. Please.

It was too much. Grief battered into him in an unforgiving wave. Cas put the phone down and plucked Jack from his chair. He held the baby close to his chest. “We’re okay,” he whispered. “We’re okay. We’re okay. We’re okay.”

And they were. And so was Sam….and Dean. But not Kelly. It was inevitable. They all knew that, but still….Cas hoped that there would still be something he could try.

For now he was just grateful that he had the foresight to get Kelly far enough away from the cabin before Jack was born. He knew that she wouldn’t survive the birth. He knew that it was likely going to alert every angel, demon, and curious moron in creation, but he still wasn’t prepared for what occurred. The power blast….atomized her and tore apart tons of trees in the wooded area. He couldn’t imagine what the sight was that Sam saw on the news.

The tiny fist pounding into his collarbone finally snapped Cas out of his thoughts. Tilting his head down, he saw Jack’s big blue eyes intently staring into him. “We’re safe,” Cas whispered. He kissed the top of Jack’s head. “Everything’s fine.”

Cas went back to the counter and retrieved his phone. He brought Jack into the living room and they sat in the rocking chair by the window. The moment Jack caught a glimpse of a bird flying by, he was entranced by the window. Cas hung onto him with one hand while he stared at his phone.

There were still messages to read. He opened Dean’s: Where ARE you?

We’re not gonna do anything to the kid, okay? Removing their grace was just an idea.

I DO get it. You know that right?

The ship has sailed stopping the kid from being born. We’re not gonna let anyone go Old Testament on the kid. Besides the bunker has more than enough warding.

We’ll figure something out.

PpiECE o f shit. PICCJ UPP

What did Satan jr do? Tear down the nearest cell tower?

Come on Cas.

Are you even getting any of these?

Call me back NOW.

We’re not dead in case you care.

WHAT HAPPENED?

It looks like a bomb went off. That’s what the news is calling it.

I know you’re not dead. You’re too damn stubborn to die in a blast like that.

Cas.

It took several deep breaths before Cas felt calmer. Knowing Dean, any of that could have been worse. He scrolled back up through the messages again, trying to piece together the timeline of each one. We’re not dead in case you care. That one in particular concerned him most.

Cas ruffled Jack’s sandy brown hair. Jack leaned back and stared up at him making a couple happy noises. He looked back at the phone again. Dean could hate him for the rest of his life and that would be okay, because that meant he was safe enough to live that long. And Castiel could live with that.

He listened to the voice mails next: Cas, buddy, I…...I don’t want to be having this conversation like this. Those British assholes started killing us...the hunters. Everyone we know is fine….as far as I know. But….Cas, I really need to know that they didn’t get you. There was a long pause where Cas assumed the message was over. He held onto Jack tighter. Cas….they trapped Sammy and me in the bunker. Sealed us in...to suffocate. There was another pause, and Cas felt cold. He knew they were fine. They sent messages after this voice mail was made. He felt like he was the one suffocating. I’m sorry.

The next one started on it’s own before Cas could even try to pull himself together. You don’t get to do this. You’re either laying low in hiding right now or you’re in pieces from whatever happened in that blast zone. Did you ever stop to think ho- Cas felt himself lean forward, wondering where the thought was going before Dean cut himself off. He strained to pick up any sound, but there was only silence. Come on, man. Pick up your damn phone. Pick up any phone. And that was it.

Cas felt like he was being held together by one frayed thread. The part of him choking on guilt was begging it to snap, but the baby lightly kicking the heels of his feet into Cas’ thighs gave him enough reason to keep moving forward. He had more responsibilities and worth now than being the Winchester’s bulwark. Castiel hoped that one day they would understand that.

“Okay, Jack.” His voice came out strained while he turned Jack around to look at him easier. He cleared his throat before continuing. “I can’t put off making that phone call anymore. Wish me luck.”

Jack’s big blue eyes stared at him intently.

“Your wish is received. Loud and clear,” Cas said getting up and crossing the room to Jack’s playpen. It was made of rainbow pastel colored panels with star decorations. He placed Jack down in the safety of the pen, and then Jack immediately latched onto the foot of a plush lion doll.

Cas went back into the kitchen. He paced the room, again and again. The whole time his eyes were glued on the name in his contact list. Finally, he tapped the name and the line started ringing. Cas held his breath, worried that he was only going to make things worse.

It rang, and rang, and rang. And then, “Castiel?”

“Hello, Claire.”

#spn #supernatural #castiel #destiel #Jack Kline #baby jack truthing #An Angel's Vow #my writing #this is my dadstiel fic #enjoy

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