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#pretty sad about this tbh but this is where we are
coolasakuhncumber · 4 months
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The decision has been made. I will not be returning to this job after the surgery.
I deeply love this work and what it stands for and is trying to achieve but the senior leadership is making it impossible to be here.
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ghost-bard · 3 months
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cant wait for the solevellan reunion in veilguard knowing aila (my poor sad oc) will try to kill him on sight
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katierosefun · 8 months
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deranged thought of the day is that each of harvey specter’s exes reflect mike ross somehow. anyways
#caroline talks#i’m only being partially serious.#but like. come on.#season 1? we meet scottie who. we learn can banter easily with Harvey#and is equally pretty and in Harvey’s mind. someone with the smartest head on her shoulders/her beauty comes only second to her brains.#season 1? is also when Harvey takes one look at mike and watches him do his photographic memory thing and IMMEDIATELY decides he needs to#have him.#(he has a thing. for people who are good at reciting the law ig.)#season 2? we meet zoe. who is kind and sweet (I love her most out of all of Harvey’s relationships with women tbh)#but zoe also sees right through harvey and points out where his weaknesses are. (lack of vulnerability.)#season 2 is also I think. where mike becomes MUCH more comfortable with telling Harvey when he’s being wrong#or just straight up arguing with him about. how Harvey CARES but he just doesn’t know how to show it (a la the entire Donna trial arc)#fast forward to season 7 with. uh. paula.#i don’t care what the show tries to say. mike is getting married to Rachel#and Harvey’s instinct is to date his THERAPIST who had sat through his struggles#and also happens to have yellow hair and blue eyes. like Harvey buddy. UH.#(uh who else sat through with Harvey in some of the Worst Days? and who else has yellow hair and blue eyes???? harvey buddy….)#I didn’t watch the entirety of season 8 but like.#i love u Donna but it’s really funny to me that as soon as Harvey loses mike#he’s just sad and pouting and miserable#but here’s someone who hasn’t left. and who HAS seen him through the thick and thin.#and like. idk. most of Harvey’s old friends/associates are gone and ofc this is when he chooses to go to Donna.#which idk. something really depressing about that and I’m punching Harvey in the face for that behavior#people say slow burn? I say that man has been moping around and dragging his feet bc he’s obsessed with mike Ross.#you know. like a loser.#anyways. I’m only being partially serious. back to work.
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rowenabean · 1 year
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#the wedding was lovely and i am so sad#managed to get most of the sad out of the way Friday and Sunday so i could be glad for them on the actual wedding day#but still. i'm going to miss her.#we always talked about living together and we never did and now we probably never will#i've got a model of married folk living together in community but i don't think they do and it has to be something you choose#her family are lovely and i was really glad to meet her friends and cousins that she talks about so often but they don't really get it#they get to have her!!! she's moving somewhere that's more convenient for literally everyone other than me! (this is not hard to do)#really good to get home and hug my dad and my little sister and have people who are my people around#was actually really good at the reception that there were a few other folk from my current town - i wasn't the only person who was#mixed joy and tears#i said something about us giving her over in my speech and they said yes that's exactly how we're feeling#but it wasn't till her husband responded to that in his speech that i started crying#everyone has been so kind to me but it has been SO good to get home#hoping i can get a bit more sleep as well. emotions are bigger when tired even though they're real still#(her cousins invited me to come stay any time and tbh i can see that living in Auckland could be actually really nice if you live where they#do. but i couldn't live where they do and do the work i want to do it is quite far away from the places in Auckland i could imagine working)#rowena adventures#btw no photos of me currently but probably some later??? not that we took many the groom had been sick the previous week and was#still pretty wiped so they got like two photos with the bridal party and ten with just them and that was it
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kerorowhump · 1 year
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keroro is resolute... but he's naive and easily led... you could probably talk him into anything with enough conviction especially if you press on to something he already feels emotionally involved in
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clamorybus · 1 year
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i know it's memed a lot and outside of that a lot more eloquent people than i have discussed it, but it really is fucked up how so many things are seen as inherently bad when it's chinese
#or north korean#or any socialist or communist country really but china and nk get hit with it hardest in the us ive noticed#like i think about so many things that happen here in the us that if they happened in china or nk that#americans would be disgusted by but don't think twice about when they happened here#mickey.txt#sinophobia cw#like any movie about the american military tbh#i literally saw one where an american solider sniped down a local small boy who was holding a molotov cocktail#EVEN THOUGH THE AMERICANS WERE INVADING but its okay because he was sad after ): LIKE??#or on a less heavy sense#that time when my mom and i drove passed a farm that was hanging a huge american flag on the side of the barn#or when it was really early in the morning and the news needed filler#so they played stock footage of pretty scenery while a little girl sang a song about america#or how often times. not matter how small the event is. kids sports games will often play the national anthem at the beginning#or even when cartoon network or 4kids would have channel blocks around 4th of july#or presidents day#and would super impose pokemon with historical figures and presidents#or would edit cartoon clips so cartoon characters would sing the national anthem#and ofc us forcing kids to say the pledge of allegiance (which is a heavy phrase when you break it down)#im rambling but seriously this country does so much nationalistic bullshit and we think its perfectly fine#but if and when any asian/swena country does anything like it we have days of news stories#discussing how brainwashed those citizens are#i feel like that fucking charlie day meme when i explain it to people esp my parents but its really obvious when you step back and look#its maddening
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astrxealis · 2 years
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damn i never thought i'd get into stardew valley this much but here we are !! makes perfect sense tho
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#heyy this adds to my roster of games that actually have Evidence#gotta play more soulsborne legitimately soon so i have more evidence of my range LMFAO ...#i love how my. taste in games is really broad tbh! i'm willing to try anything out but i do uhh am less inclined to the more popular ones?#unless i get into them by way of. personal. or without outside influence#but if there's a certain something that makes me dislike a media yeah ... i do end up more indifferent tho. ultimately#i think sdv is another huge example of how me and lune really go all in when getting into smth#like terraria. but we end up forgetting about it pretty soon after. oops!#it depends tbh on how bored we are? how much we have to do. so yeah#xiv was That for a very long time bcs we didn't really have anything else uhh insert hashtag xiv was there for us when nobody was#aaa so thankful to xiv fr. idk. i think about what it has done for me sometimes and i get really emotional!#also funny how things connect. i got back into tumblr bcs of jjk and then connected w others mostly thru gi. and then twt thru a friend i#met thru a school event wholy thru chance. who got me back into twt where i connected with others thru ff(xiv)#and i find it fascinating how people make friends irl! i think its easy for me to feel that way 1. its just who i am lol its in my nature#2. im more of a bystander so. yeah. ez for me to study people and people-watch. idm that much tbh#it's funny... hmm interesting? a bit sad too. wnvr i want to. Take A Step Further. i end up not caring anymore LMFAOOO but tbh it's really#nice in the long run! my outlook on life is pretty weird tbh like uhh... idk. hard to explain. complex#whenever i face a problem i'm. absolutely confident i'll get over it. and unfortunately i feel like that... sense of confidence is rather ra#rare*? idk. and the fact i've always known (always!) i'd love myself no matter what. even if sometimes i would be really insecure. i never#truly hated myself and i sincerely doubt i ever will. but the fact i often suceed and rise from my failures that sometimes they don't feel#like failures doesn't mean that uhh i'll end up facing my downfall through. naive confidence? i try to be self-aware and do my best for no#regrets and it's fascinating how my values in life are shaped by my past. not just me. everyone. damn. i think the formative years of a#person are so goddamn fascinating and also i'm still unsure what i want for college but it's already fucking march HELP#anyway wow. i dont want to be too harsh on myself if the What If bad scenario/s end up happening but i'll really try my best#my aunts on my dad side both got into up diliman and i'll be damned if i don't. i know i can do it. i just gotta put in a ton of effort.#okay rambles bye bye#also i've been staying up until 3/4 ever since break LMFAOOO SDV HAS RUINED ME dw i'll be good again next week lmfao
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aphel1on · 3 months
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the longer i look at this panel the more deranged i feel about it. this is environmental storytelling at its finest.
the eodio stand-in doll in particular makes me crazy. where did it come from? did thistle just pop into the village like "hey ungrateful wretches, one of you needs to make me a life-sized mannequin, For Reasons". did he make it himself? seems quite unlikely, yet the possibility haunts me. i mean, i guess there could've been one just lying around the dungeon somewhere. it's the act of replacement itself that really gets to me. (edit: it's been pointed out to me that the eodio doll also could have been left behind as part of delgal's escape plan. slightly different kind of madness but tbh, just as funny-sad to me if that happened and thistle went Ok, Guess That's Eodio Now.)
both the wives are there too. we know very little about them, which makes me tend to assume thistle wasn't all that close to them, but they're still included. when did they end up here? did he kick their souls out of their bodies at some point, or were they among those who left their bodies voluntarily to try and escape? when did yaad become an effective orphan, delgal an effective widower? women in the margins of the narrative, tell me your stories!
and the fact that they're surrounded with the living paintings, which thistle habitually wanders through to relive the past. this truly is his inner sanctum, his place of utmost comfort... and it may as well be a tomb.
that panel is so creepy when you first see it. just a sense of "ohh jeez, there's a lot to unpack there".
and actually, yeah, it remains creepy from pretty much any angle, but the more you think about it the more it's also tragic.
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this is where many of thistle's happiest moments took place. everything he had in that picture is now gone. first he lost their warm regard, then one-by-one their bodies became hollow shells. before the end, none of the people here needed or enjoyed food anymore. the dinner table, as a center of both family life and nutrition, became obsolete.
a line from someone else's excellent post about thistle has stuck in my head ever since i read it: "to eat is to live, but to eat together is to be loved". to me, this is the sentiment and symbolism at the core of everything that happens in dungeon meshi.
it makes this bit all the sadder and more disturbing.
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there's several things to note here:
thistle has gone from seated and eating with them as part of the family, to a lonely and ominous figure hovering over delgal's shoulder
eodio is conspicuously absent from view, and his body would have been a husk by now, but yaad says parents, which forces me to assume that they are sitting at the table with eodio's soulless body, hidden under yaad's speech bubble
they're not actually eating anything.
those plates are empty. you could assume that they've already finished eating, maybe, but yaad refers to it as sitting around the dinner table. in fact, he compares it to what he's currently doing; sitting at the dinner table watching the touden party eat, not eating anything himself.
it paints a pretty grim picture. for some time even after the fantasy had fallen apart, even after there was no need or desire to eat, they kept gathering around the dinner table. at that point, i'd guess only so as not to provoke thistle's wrath.
but even that last happened a long, long time ago.
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this is a callback to what senshi said in the golden kingdom: the reason the people keep maintaining their fields and silverware and so forth is that they need to do so in order to stay sane.
paradoxically, the dinner table is the most striking evidence of thistle's insanity, and at the same time, it's the only anchor to sanity he has left.
he kept enforcing the ritual of dinner together long after it lost significance. when even that was impossible- because almost everyone's souls were gone- he kept their bodies at the table anyway. it's fine. it's fine! he's protected them, physically, just like he set out to. they're all still breathing. at a glance it looks like they could wake up and resume dinner at any moment. like this, it's easy to pretend.
isn't that what being a dungeon lord is, at the core of it? rejecting reality, staying in the prison of one's impossible desires. it's just one long game of pretend.
thistle did all this to protect his loved ones. no matter how obsessive and twisted he became in pursuit of that over the years, his core motivation never changed. this is all he has left of that dream: his loved ones' bodies gathered around the locus of their happiest memories together. like this, he can tell himself he's succeeded.
when eodio's body vanished with delgal's soul in it- when he couldn't even have that anymore... well.
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i want to reach through the screen and shake him. no, they're not, thistle. THISTLE, NO, THEY'RE NOT! the doll of eodio is the closest thing to him in this panel, underlining the point. when that final illusion was shattered, he became completely unable to cope with reality.
therefore casually forgetting the creepy eodio doll isn't real.
thistle isn't stupid. eodio's body vanished at the same time as delgal's soul. shortly after, more adventurers came pouring in than ever before. deep down, he knows what happened. if he didn't, being confronted with the truth by mithrun wouldn't have made him panic so hard he summoned chimera falin to the first floor.
yet still...
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he absolutely can't admit that to himself. he is clinging to the last scraps of the illusion with everything he has.
this is a dungeon lord at the end of desire. this is a lotus-eater machine left running long after its conclusion. this is mithrun lying listlessly in his bed, his replica lover having given up any pretense of being human. the illusion is all that's left. (an illusion is all it ever was.) thistle and the citizens of the golden kingdom- they're ghosts just as much as the ones who wander the dungeon floors. and if it weren't for thistle sealing the lion away, he would've been eaten by it long ago.
all of this encapsulated by that single panel of the dinner table.
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canisvesperus · 2 years
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:D
#I need to. APPRECIATION POST FOR MY BFF#who I love very much#and doesn’t have tumblr so I’ll gush here lol#I think the root of a lot of my problems with former friends boils down to them not having similar lived experiences as me#no idpol but tbh it does not lend them to having as much of a potential to really empathize with me and understand my individual struggles#to be quite frank it REALLY boils down to white friends with their white fragility and virtue signaling#who just cannot be bothered to do something with their privilege when the time comes for them to make a choice that impacts the rest of us#because suddenly they don’t want to rock the boat or get involved in an argument or ohhh it’s just so complicated and confusing :///#where did your punch a nazi energy go? all of your posturing and self proclaimactions of allyship were ultimately bullshit get over yourself#okay enough venting let’s get to the point: it is so refreshing beyond words to have another Indigiqueer who you can trust#and who can intimately fathom all of this frustration I have had to deal with…#I have always gotten on well with other first gen immigrants but that does not mean we have the same experiences beyond a surface level#we’re both autistic similar interests similar politics even similar experiences with wrestling historical/colonial identity#bff is even vegan and we always talk about cooking our precolonial dishes for one another since they are usually plant based :D#mutual and intense hatred of spain and france as colonial powers is cathartic too and idk just so interesting to see how it has left a mark#on both of our cultures in very similar ways despite being otherwise pretty different and an entire ocean away… sad that many things we have#in common are results of having the same colonizers… okay I said I wouldn’t VENT DAMN!!! anyway I feel understood completely#and it’s super AWESOME and we spend lots of time together every day and broo healthy communication and boundaries for once in my life!!!!#former friends could never holy shit… we can trust each other with anything and it’s so great and conversation is effortless stress free#bff feels the same way and tells me all the time it makes me so :D!!! also my bff is super smart and I’m always learning new things#I think I always missed out on the best friend experience bro let’s not even get into the first and only one prior… but THIS. yep this is it#the fact that we both already agreed on so many things and shared so many interests upon the first few conversations was unbelievable lucky#divine intervention or something because I never go out of my way to make friends and poof. new friend starts talking to me out of nowhere#I love my best friend!!! sorry if you’re a yt who truly puts in the effort but the bar has been drastically raised#I’m no longer settling for mediocre white people who look to me for validation get your ass out of here for REAL I’m SICK of y’all 💀💀💀💀💀#genuinely fuck you get out of my sight I do not have the patience any longer! btw any of my current white friends reading this ur cool dw 👍#if you weren’t cool you’d be gone long before this dissertation lol…#feeling so honored and thankful every day :) really really happy :D I hope everyone like me feeling isolated and alone right now finds#someone like this! mind blowing how I stayed sane in the past having been surrounded by unsavory characters sheesh…#ven talks
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astrobydalia · 8 months
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🪐 Astro Observations!!!✨
Happy 2024 babes! Here’s to another year sharing astrology stuff with all of you 🤩
work by astrobydalia
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Yes water moons have great intuition and could be psychic but I very often notice they tend to allow their personal feelings interfere with their decisions and could tend to not follow their intuition as much. The ones that have a more reliable or unbiased intuition imo are Earth moons and Aquarius moon.
Scorpio Venus really do gravitate to unhealthy relationships… All their connections tend to have unfair or imbalanced dynamics to them where there’s no equal give and take. They believe love means throwing yourself and your life away for another person (or they expect someone to give everything away for them) with little to nothing in return. They may not understand the difference between deep intimacy and unhealthy attachment
Libra placements and their ability to appear likable even when they have the shittiest personality deep down
In my opinion Moon is the most important planet if you really wanna begin to know someone at their core. Ultimately no planet can give you full info without the context of the whole chart tho (#AllPlanetsMatter), but you can really uncarcarve sm about someone just by moon placement/aspects/degree, etc. Moon rules your needs and so it really cements your personality and its an energy that you'll project in so many areas of your life (relationships, career, etc)
Fixed Mars are ARGUMENTATIVE fr fr. They need to have the last word and will die on that hill if they have to💀Honorable mention: Virgo/Gemini Mars due to Mercury influence but they’re more about friendly banter and aren’t as stubborn
80% of Aries Moons I've met were very philosophical/spiritual/religious. They can develop a self-awareness that gives them a lot of wisdom. The other 20% were just adult toddlers and very egotistic...
Capricorn placements and their internalized elitism. They really do believe some people are better than others which is the shadow of Capricorn unfortunately
Aquarius Moons are some of the most traumatized people I know fr fr. Whenever I get to know their life and backstory Im always like bro….😶😶 It makes me so sad cause they always bring such good vibes everywhere (they have a playful aura) when in reality there’s a depth of pain underneath you wouldn’t even fathom through that unbothered persona. The OG misunderstood.
We all know Scorpio is all about depth, intensity and looking beyond the surface but I’ve very often observed the exact opposite in scorpio placements. They could tend to be very superficial, greedy and materialistic, more obsessed with wealth and status than any earth placement (it all comes down to power). In such cases their interest in occult or deep topics could also be superficial or opportunistic, like they only see it as something that could give them a leg up in life or help them avoid unseen threats but that's about it.
Cancer Risings do not come across as sensitive at all. They tend to have a rather sassy personality and are pretty defensive 90% of the time tbh. Think about it, are crabs 🦀 cute and cuddly? No, you actually actually have to be very careful around one cause they sting lol. They do wear their heart on their sleeves and are very sensitive and perceptive but because of this they constantly feel like their vulnerability is out for everyone to see hence the guarded attitude.
^I've also noticed they are VERY opinionated and will hold on very tightly to how they think/feel about something. This results in having a reputation for being kinda bold and sharp (Aries 10th). Pro tip: do NOT question these native's morals or integrity unless you wanna see a very snappy side to them, they respond very very very badly if you even insinuate that they might be hypocritical in their values/what matters to them
The interpretation that Aquarius in the 4th house means you’re an outcasted black sheep in the family low-key doesn’t make sense to me tbh. Aquarius is the sign of camaraderie, friendship, inclusivity and community. All the people that I’ve seen with this placement were actually very bonded to their roots and considered their family (and the people they bonded with during childhood) to be "their people" (they also keep their friends close to heart). These natives do tend to distinct themselves as they grow up but this is due to Leo 10th house. I've noticed their family is in general very supportive of them or at the very least they received some input in their upbringing that made them feel special and/or like their uniqueness was celebrated. Feel free to share your opinion/experience tho
I've noticed Virgo Mars people have a perfect balance between being confident in themselves and fulling trusting their abilities while also staying humble and acknowledge room for improvement. Very mature and self-accountable and they're also great people to work with cause they are highly appreciative of good contribution
Sagittarius placements and their ability to be casually rude in a charming way??? 😭
Moon in the 10th house do not have a reputation for being emotional at all, it's quite the opposite they dislike exposing their feelings like that. A lot of their energy is spent trying to appear put-together and emotionally stable. The ones I've noticed have a reputation for being moody or sensitive are Mars in the 10th house
Venus-Moon aspects probably grew up in an environment that fed up this idea they had to be beautiful and conventionally likable in order to be worthy of love. These natives tend to base their self-worth on the amount of emotional validation they get from others and struggle telling the difference between kindness and love
A couple notes on everyone’s fave topic: 8th house synastry
We all know this overlay deals with power dynamics. On a general basis I’ve noticed it’s the planet person who tends to have the upper hand. Exeption: Moon. When your moon falls in someone’s 8th house you tend to be vulnerable one due to the soft nature of this planet, but the house person secretly feels more intimidated
You will NAWT be able to keep secrets from someone you have 8th house synastry with specially if you’re the house person. Sooner or later they’ll see through you, circumstances might force you to expose yourself or you’ll simply feel drawn to revealing the truth to them. With water synastry in general you will feel drawn to share more deep or hidden parts of yourself/your life but with the 8th house you can’t help it, like there’s almost an accusatory tension between the two that grows the more you try to hide something from them
Something I see no one mentioning about 8th house synastry is the planet person always feels intimidated by the house person's success. The planet person will try to take part in the house person's success by taking some credit and have a sense of control over what belongs to the house person, it's giving Kanye's "I made that bitch famous". At best the planet person would want to help boost the house person's endeavors. Either way, when someone's planets land on your 8th house, you will never feel like something is completely yours anymore, somehow the planet person will "take" something away from you that you can't get back making you feel like you owe them or they owe you something big (8th house=debt), which is why this overlay very often goes south and tends to be very depleting.
If we're talking business (which 8th house deals with that) the house person is likely to take a risk on the planet person, invest on them (can be money, time, resources, trust, etc) in hopes that it'll pay off. The house person is most likely to loose something from their involvement with the planet person, but they can also gain a lot from the planet person if the investment pays off. In either case, one could tend to exploit the other if there’s any ill intent from the individual
Water mars people are very smothering in their affection tbh. Once you’ve been chosen, get ready to be bombarded by their attention a bit more each time. Secret stalker vibes.This doesn’t always mean they love you tho, if underdeveloped they may want to “bond” in order to have emotional control over you and use you. For them it’s easy to get what they want through manipulation so leading people on or fooling around is something they tend to do a lot
Going back to the affection topic, water venus are smothering too but they go about their obsession devotion in a much more soft and non-domineering way where they give a lot of power away to their partner
People with Gemini+Scorpio placements in their chart embody the mischievous trickster archetype fr fr. They’re funny but also a menace. Have an ease to become that type of deceitful manipulator who thrives in chaos
I have a theory that your Moon represents the kind of bond or relationship you have with your mother but Ceres represents how your mother actually is
Capricorn and Scorpio placements are huge tsunderes imo 😭
Chiron in Sagittarius/9th house have become disappointed with religious and/or academic institutions. For them both systems are essentially flawed and don't work or don't make sense
+When it comes to religion I've seen a lot of them being atheist and skeptics. Some others still believed in god/universe/etc. but they did not want to support any stablished religious institution and instead have preferred to craft their own belief system. In both cases, they saw the institutionalization of believe systems as something that hindered their freedom of thought and expansion
+When it comes to academics a very similar thing happens. They felt like collage and the educational system restricted their mind instead of expanding it so they just preferred to walk their own path and find growth elsewhere. A friend of mine with this placement quit collage and the other people I've seen who did finish it all said they had a kinda dreadful and/or unfulfilling collage experience which they low-key regret
If you’ve ever felt powerless in the house where you have your pluto, that’s because you gave your power away to the opposite house. For example, if you have Pluto in the 5th house and you felt powerless when it comes to expression, your creativity, etc that’s because you gave too much power to the public opinion/peer pressure (11th house) and what they may say about you if you express yourself genuinely
Scorpio Moons always battle with that "am I a good person?", "am I a monster deep down?" inner conflict. They are more in touch with darker emotions and experiences than the average person so for them it's particularly easy to channel their shadow. This can often make them doubt their own integrity or think they are doomed to never feel happiness and inner peace. This is moon's debilitation for a reason, their inner emotional world is ruled by chaos and turmoil and they tend to be a bit too comfortable (moon) in toxicity and drama, nothing is ever light-hearted for them. If developed this ability of staying in touch with the shadow side of things can actually give them lots of awareness and resilience for the darker sides of the world as well as a very solid moral compass and compassion
Leo Moons likely had grandiose standards forced on them that inflated their self-importance. It's giving "mommy told me I am the best and most special of all" which is great but now they be carrying that mindset for the rest of their lives and this is where lot of their infamous sensitivity and fragile ego comes from cause not fulfilling these standards deeply hurts their heart. In consequence they tend to be more unprepared to accept humbling experiences that'll make them mature
virgo risings are funny!!!! I haven't seen anyone mention this, but every virgo rising I've met cracked me UP, they are so witty and never misse a chance to throw in a cheeky joke every 2 minutes. I think this is overlooked because they keep a rather awkward demeanor to them which often makes for a rather dry delivery. Best examples of this are Ryan Raynolds, Keanue Reeves, Emma Watson, Cole Sprouse...
Also, all Virgo risings I've met tend to come across as huge snobs so it's very common that people don't take their humor or friendliness seriously
Honestly I've noticed this theme with Virgo/6th house inner placements in general where their judgemental nature always makes them unfriendly or snarky to some degree. They can be the kind of people who are never happy with anything and always have a bone to pick.
My main theory as to why Leo risings are the most shy out of all Leo placements is because a lot of them grew up in very problematic and dysfunctional families (Scorpio 4th house) where they were shamed for showing vulnerability or being genuine (Cancer 12th house)
I’ve noticed Aries Suns and Capricorn Suns tend to relate a lot to their fathers, they tend to have very similar character traits as their fathers. For good or for bad their relationship with their father is always very important in their personality.
I find that LEO Suns and Sagittarius Suns always be having daddy issues tho like 😭😭😭😭
One thing about Capricorn is they can be literal billionaires and yet will still refuse to spend a dime on something they think is not worth it
Mutable Moons don’t commit 10000% to things, they’re the type to always have a foot out just in case. They're most likely to commit to things if they don't feel forced or expected to stay permanently
Cardinal energy is very consistent and responsable. People with prominent cardinal placements have a really developed sense of agency, focus and direction (imo this will be more obvious with moon, mars and asc). There's something about them that always gives me this put together "I've got this" kinda vibe, they always seem like they've got it together and always know what to do even when they're lost.
Fixed mercuries and their inability to understand or accept that two different points can be true
Sun/Leo in the 3rd house could want to have a nice car, an expensive or luxurious car from a well-known brand
I’ve seen people saying Venus-Mars conjunction gives it girl vibes. This is also HIGHLY true for Mars-ruled Venus (Aries/Scorpio Venus) or Venus-ruled Mars (Libra/Taurus Mars)
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work by astrobydalia
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stephreynaart · 2 months
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i'm so sad you ship billford.... im not gonna lecture you i just. sighs. i love your art so much this is really upsetting. :(((
We gonna have this conversation again?
At this point go take it up with Alex, cause it’s pretty much canon.
BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS BELOW
It’s REALLY hard to ignore all the language surrounding Bill’s relationship with Ford and how he pursues him, he follows the dating advice he gives in the book to a T
- Leaving dead rats/mice for Ford
- Ford is the only “partner” that Bill is openly vulnerable with and gives him some insight to his past and his experience (also referring to him as a partner)
- The “Love Cage” advice he gives, where he said go trap your date and sing them a song. And if you remember, Bill traps Ford in the Fearamid and sings to him “We’ll Meet Again”, which was a song written for WWII soldiers who were away from their lovers
“I’m Your Puppet” by James & Bobby Purify that Ford gets in his head, a love song, that also places Ford in his role in the relationship.
THE FLIRTING “you can call me anything but late to dinner”, “I think I’m starting to like you” and saying the same thing then saying “jinx”. GET A ROOM
Both got jealous when the other thinks they’re with someone else. Ford thinking Bill’s “inspiring another scientist” when he doesn’t see Bill for a few weeks, and Bill calling Fiddleford a “third wheel”.
Then when they break it off, Bill goes on a sad drunken rampage. Which you don’t do for someone who you don’t at least care about, especially not someone who’s just a friend
Bill gives Ford 3 days to turn the portal on and asks himself “What was I, a saint? And why did I do it- some misplaced sentimentality”
Even Mabel basically said Bill has a thing for Ford “you’re like a super needy ex” “go crush on someone else’s uncle”
They were definitely more than friends, from what I see it was mostly one-sided on Bill’s part.
Maybe Ford did feel something, it was definitely a relationship that made him feel good, more in tune with his brain and body, and gave him a big boost of confidence. He went to Bill for comfort when he was stressed and vented to him about stuff. Bill made Ford happy…while it was good anyway.
Was this a healthy relationship? FUCK NO!
Bill was mentally and physically abusive, manipulative, and possessive (LITERALLY). He spiked Ford’s drink after Ford said no to having one and got him fucked up. Bill took Ford’s body on a joyride and did horrible things to Ford that we see in the pictures and thing we DONT see in the video. All to make him comply and get the portal running. Calling Ford his PROPERTY.
But it’s a good story of overcoming an abusive relationship, which is great representation tbh, Ford is happier and has his family to love him now.
Normally Alex is great at leaving things up to interpretation, but I can’t ignore the intentional and not at all subtle way he depicted Bill and Ford’s relationship. There’s even seeds of it in the interview with Hana and TGFF
Go take it up with Hirsch, cause I’m just using what he gave me
377 notes · View notes
wholoveseggs · 4 months
Note
Yo I’m back. Tbh half of your anon requests are me lol. Can you write something about Elijah and the reader having a family. Kids of any age maybe living in the compound with the rest of the mikaelsons? Still smut ofc but I love that episode where Elijah is with Cami at the safe house and he acts all family man fixing the fence n stuff that was hotttt
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Family Man
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18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
Life at the compound can be chaotic with kids and family running around, but Elijah wouldn't have it any other way.
♡♡ Thanks for the request wonderful @elijahstwink (everyone go check out his fics!) & anon!I Love domestic Elijah sooo much, I truly believe this would be his dream life. ♡♡
4.5k words - Warnings: smut, oral sex, unfortunately I didn't make this as kinky as requested...its just very sappy and sweet, this is just a day in the life of Elijah as a devoted father and husband, pregnant!reader, uncle Klaus being precious, toddlers, hot cocoa, kittens & so much flufffffff
ps, this is pretty much a sequel to devotion...
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In the early hours of the morning you were awoken by a loud snore from your husband. You rolled over to face him, chuckling a little as you watched his peaceful sleeping form. It was the first time in a long time he was finally getting the rest he deserved.
You slowly turned, carefully sliding out of bed. You tiptoed out the room and decided to go down to the kitchen to make some tea.
You loved this time of night, being in the stillness of the house, just enjoying the calmness and being able to take in the beauty of it all.
When you reached the bottom step, you heard some sniffling and cries coming from one of the rooms down the hall. You rushed to the door and opened it, and a small figure ran into your arms, clinging onto you.
"What's wrong, little one?" you asked, scooping her up.
"I had a nightmare. There were these people with sharp teeth and they were chasing me. And then you were there but you were gone. It was scary, mommy," she sobbed, her head buried in your chest.
"It's okay, sweetheart, it was just a dream. Nothing bad will happen to you. You are safe," you said, kissing her head and stroking her hair, soothing her. "Come on, let's go get something warm to drink,"
You carried her down to the kitchen and began to prepare the hot cocoa, which was her favorite. As you stood over the stove, waiting for the milk to boil, you felt her little hands rubbing your stomach.
"Mommy, when is the baby going to come out?" she asked.
"Not for a while, sweetie. It needs to grow inside my belly for a little longer," you chuckled.
"Okay," she said, looking sad. "I can't wait to meet them. Is it a girl or a boy?" she asked, looking up at you with her big, brown eyes.
"We don't know yet," you replied.
"Oh," she replied, disappointed. "I hope it's a girl. I already have a brother, I want a sister," she said.
"We'll just have to wait and see," you smiled, placing the mug of hot cocoa down on the counter. "Here, drink up, before it gets cold," you said.
She hopped off the chair and held the mug with both her hands, sipping away. You sipped on your tea as well, feeling relaxed. You loved these quiet moments with her, and you would cherish every one of them, since she was growing up so fast.
"So, what was this dream about, princess?" you asked, wanting to know more.
"T-there were people with sharp teeth and they were after me," she said.
"And why do you think that was?" you asked, not wanting her to feel afraid, but curious about what caused this dream.
"I think I saw it in a movie or something," she said, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "An-and uncle Nik showed me his sharp teeth, but he promised he would never bite me, only use them to protect me," she said.
"Oh, did he now?" you laughed.
"Yeah, but then he bit my teddy bear," she said, giggling. "he said my teddy was a threat!"
"That sounds like something uncle Nik would do," you chuckled.
"Can I sleep with you and daddy tonight?" she asked, her eyes wide and pleading.
"Of course, sweetheart," you replied.
"Thank you, mommy," she said, smiling and hugging your legs.
"Come on, let's go to bed," you said, picking her up. She wrapped her arms around your neck and laid her head on your shoulder as you walked back up to your bedroom.
You placed her in the middle of the bed, and she quickly snuggled up against Elijah, her head on his chest. She loved having his attention. She was a daddy's girl through and through.
You slid back into bed, lying down on your side and Elijah instantly pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you, holding you both.
"Is my little one alright?" he asked sleepily, his eyes still closed.
"I had a bad dream, daddy," she sniffled, curling up against him.
"It's alright, my love. Everything will be alright," he said, kissing her head and soothing her. "No bad dreams will get you while I'm here," he said, pulling the blanket up and tucking her in.
She smiled at him and kissed his cheek, cuddling him as she drifted off to sleep. He stroked her hair, and her eyes grew heavy. Soon she was sound asleep, and he placed his hand on your stomach, his precious family safe in his arms.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Exhausted. Our littlest one is keeping me up, constantly moving and kicking," you sighed, feeling drained.
"Let's hope it's not like this for the whole pregnancy," he chuckled.
"Don't even joke about that," you groaned.
He gave you a kiss on the head, your daughter snuggled in between the two of you, and you finally managed to get a few more hours of sleep.
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Elijah was woken by the sunlight shining through the curtains, and he smiled at the sight of his beautiful family.
His daughter was still cuddled up to him, her head buried in his chest, she stirred slightly and yawned.
"Do you want breakfast?" he asked, his hand on her back.
"Yes," she mumbled.
"Hmmm what would you and your brother like? Gruel? Porridge?" he asked, teasing her.
"Eww no," she groaned, loudly.
"Alright, alright, pancakes it is, let's go wake your brother and the rest of the family," he said, chuckling.
"Can we get chocolate chips on the pancakes?" she asked as he carried her out the room.
"I don't know, maybe your brother wants blueberries, but we'll ask," he said, tickling her.
His son and his niece were both awake and running around, and Klaus was chasing him, laughing, the children giggling as they hid under the dining table.
"Oh, look who's here. Little Rebekah is up," Klaus teased.
"No! That's not my name!" she pouted, crossing her arms.
"Yes, it is," Elijah chuckled.
"Nooo," she whined. "It's just Bex," she said.
"Alright, alright, Bex it is," Klaus chuckled, patting his head.
"Pancakes for breakfast, anyone?" Elijah asked.
"Yes, yes, yes," the children yelled.
"Chocolate chips?" Klaus asked, grinning.
"Yes!!!" the kids screamed, all jumping up and down in excitement.
"Alright, I'll make them, the last one to the kitchen is a rotten egg," Klaus said, speeding off.
The kids squealed and ran after Klaus, and Elijah chuckled and went back upstairs to check on you.
You were sound asleep, your hair fanned across the pillow. He laid down next to you, placing his hand on the swell of your stomach, smiling and talking to the baby.
"How are you, littlest one? Have you been keeping mommy up all night?" he asked, his dimples on full display.
"Yes, they have," you sighed.
"That's my job," he smirked, leaning in and giving you a kiss. "Would you like some breakfast?" he asked.
"I'll go eat later. I just want to stay here for a little longer," you replied, holding his hand on your stomach.
Elijah hummed softly and pulled you close, kissing your head and rubbing your back. He loved the way you melted into his touch.
"How is Bex?" you asked.
"She's completely forgotten about her nightmare, Klaus is making breakfast for all the kids," he chuckled.
"They have him wrapped around their little fingers," you giggled.
"He has grown soft, it's true," Elijah said.
"Bex told me he bit her teddy bear," you laughed.
"Yes, well, that doesn't surprise me," he chuckled, his lips brushing against yours.
You sighed happily and wrapped your arms around him, feeling complete bliss in his embrace.
"What would you like to do today?" he asked.
"Stay right here with you," you replied, running your hand through his hair, making him hum in delight. You were feeling a bit needy this morning, the pregnancy hormones making you want him all the time.
"I think that can be arranged," he smirked.
You grinned and leaned in, kissing him slowly, deepening the kiss. He moaned, and rolled over, pressing you into the mattress, making sure not to put any weight on your stomach.
He loved your pregnant state, the way your skin glowed, your eyes sparkled and the way you moaned his name made him crazy. He couldn't keep his hands off you, he wanted to ravish you day and night.
He thought he knew all of his kinks, but this one took him by surprise. When you were first pregnant with Henry it was like something in his brain clicked. The possessiveness, the lust, the way his cock ached to be inside you, he was lost.
Henry was a miracle, he didn't quite know how the magic worked. You tried to explain it to him once, your witch ancestry, how the moon played a part, but all he could think about was fucking you senseless, filling you up, and breeding you.
You were the perfect partner, and an absolute warrior, but nothing turned him on more than seeing you in this submissive, almost docile state. You were his wife, his goddess, and his greatest treasure, and he wanted nothing more than to please you day and night.
His hands went to your soft, full breasts, squeezing and kneading them, making you whimper and moan. He captured your nipple between his lips, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud, his other hand moving your nightdress up your thighs.
"Elijah," you sighed, his fingers brushing over your wet panties, making you gasp and moan.
"Is my beautiful wife needy this morning?" he smirked, his fingers slipping past the lace.
"Yes," you panted, the pad of his index finger teasing your clit, making your body tremble.
"Good," he hummed, his mouth on your neck, his fingers slowly pumping in and out of your wet heat.
You were both so lost in pleasure that neither of you heard the sound of Bex running up the stairs, Klaus not far behind her.
Luckily the door was locked, Elijah knew better than that with a house full of children.
"Daddy? Mommy?" she asked softly, knocking on the door.
"One minute, my love," Elijah called, his voice strained, trying to keep himself from ravishing you.
"Okay," she said, not leaving, but sitting down outside the door.
"Come back downstairs Bex, your mom and dad are a bit busy at the moment," Klaus chuckled, his voice low.
"Are they playing hide and seek?" she asked.
"Something like that," he replied.
"Can we play after?" she asked.
"Absolutely, sweetheart. Now come on, let's finish our pancakes, you don't want Henry to eat them all," he chuckled, lifting her up and taking her back downstairs.
Elijah looked down at your flushed face, laughing at the situation.
"You are so mean," you groaned, pushing him off you.
"Mean? I was just getting started," he chuckled.
"I think our daughter needs us, and Henry has probably eaten all the pancakes by now," you laughed, getting up and smoothing out your dress.
"I'll finish what I started tonight," he smirked.
"Don't get your hopes up," you chuckled, kissing his cheek and getting dressed.
Elijah watched your every move, the way you walked, the glow on your skin, and how the dress clung to the curve of your stomach. You looked ethereal. He was completely mesmerized, and completely smitten.
You were looking at yourself in the mirror, the dress a little too tight, the buttons straining against your swollen breasts.
"We are going to have to get you new dresses," he chuckled, walking up behind you and wrapping his arms around you.
"This was my favorite," you pouted.
"We'll find you something that fits, don't worry," he said, kissing your shoulder.
"My back is killing me," you groaned, feeling a bit overwhelmed.
"Let me try something," he said, his hands dipping under your belly and lifting the bump, and you immediately felt relief. "Better?" he whispered against your skin.
You let out a happy groan and leaned into him, letting him hold you. His hands were gentle, his touch making the tension and aches melt away.
"Thank you," you sighed.
"You are very welcome," he hummed.
"Let's go eat, I'm absolutely starving," you laughed, kissing him and taking his hand.
"Let's," he smiled.
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When the two of you entered the dining room, Bex squealed and jumped out of her seat, running towards Elijah.
"Daddy I saved you a pancake, see, here it is," she said, holding it up.
"That's very sweet of you, darling," he said, bending down and picking her up.
She fed him the pancake, giggling and laughing, and Klaus was grinning from ear to ear, and he handed you a plate filled with an assortment of fruit, knowing it was your favorite.
"Thank you," you smiled, sitting down at the table, feeling your stomach rumble.
Hope was sitting with Henry, and they were coloring on their plates, syrup and chocolate spread everywhere, their laughter filling the room.
Bex was still cuddled up to Elijah, and his hand was on your stomach, and he was feeding you pieces of fruit, smiling at you.
"Your birthday is coming up little Bekah, what do you want as a present?" Klaus asked, ruffling her hair.
"Hmmm I don't know," she replied, deep in thought.
"Anything you want, sweetheart," Elijah smiled.
"Can we get a puppy?" Henry asked, excitedly.
"Not until you're old enough to take care of it," Elijah replied, ruffling his hair.
"What about a kitten?" Klaus asked, raising his eyebrow.
"I love kitties!" Hope squealed.
"Yes, yes, yes!" the children yelled.
"I'll have to think about it," Elijah chuckled.
"Please dad! It's all I want for my birthday," Bex begged, her big brown eyes looking at him, her little lip pouting.
"Don't let her pull that face, Elijah, it's not fair," Klaus laughed.
"Alright, alright, you can have a kitten," he replied, smiling at his little girl.
She squealed and threw her arms around him, giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
"I promise I'll take care of it, daddy," she smiled.
"I'm sure you will," he replied, smiling and looking at you.
Klaus could see the exhaustion on your face, and the way you rubbed your stomach. You were tired and he could sense it, he knew you needed a break and some alone time with Elijah.
"Why don't we go out and play, little ones," he said, scooping up the children. "Let's all go to the park, we can even invite uncle Kol and aunt Rebekah," he suggested.
"Yay, yay, yay," the kids cheered.
"That sounds like a good idea," you replied, yawning and stretching your arms.
"Let's go, let's go," he said, wrangling the kids out of the compound.
Once they were gone, Elijah got up and started cleaning up the mess everyone had made. The compound was bursting at the seams with his family, and it was never quiet, but he enjoyed it, seeing the children run around and play, their laughter and their love filling the rooms.
You leaned back in your chair, admiring the sight of your husband working, his sleeves rolled up, and his hair falling over his forehead.
"You are gorgeous," you sighed, making him look up from the sink.
"As are you," he smirked.
"I can't believe you agreed to get Bex a kitten," you laughed.
"She can be very persuasive," he chuckled, drying his hands and coming to sit next to you.
"She has you wrapped around her finger," you smiled, cupping his cheek.
"Like I am not the same with her mother," he laughed.
"You have a point there," you grinned, kissing him.
He smiled against your lips, his hand moving down your body, resting on your stomach, letting out a contented sigh.
You mind wandered to all the things that needed to be done for the kids and around the house, you also hadn't even started preparing the nursery. You felt overwhelmed and the hormones weren't helping. On top of all that you had a party coming up.
"Stop thinking out loud," Elijah chuckled, pulling you closer.
"I can't help it, there is just so much to do," you groaned, burying your head in the crook of his neck. "I'm already behind, the baby will be here soon and I still haven't gotten anything ready."
"We still have a few months, everything will be fine, love. We will get the nursery ready, and the party will be wonderful, I'm sure of it," he replied, kissing your forehead.
His reassurances didn't help your worries, and you knew you were being unreasonable, but the stress was starting to take its toll.
"And now we have to go find a kitten, I don't even know where to start," you sighed, shaking your head.
"We can look online, we can go to a shelter, there's plenty of options," he replied, stroking your hair.
He was always so patient, so understanding, and you had no idea how he stayed so calm. You felt like you were going crazy.
"Do you even want a kitten?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I prefer them over dogs, although their hair does get everywhere," he chuckled, cupping your cheek. "They are excellent little predators, great for catching the mice that are running around this old place," he smirked.
"You're not wrong, the mice are awful," you laughed, remembering the time you were down in the wine cellar and one of them ran across your foot.
"Why don't you go rest, my love? I will clean up here and join you upstairs," he suggested.
You nodded and yawned, standing up and heading towards the stairs, Elijah's eyes on you the entire time.
The moment you got to the bed and laid down, your eyes closed and you were fast asleep.
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When you woke up you heard soft hammering coming from the other room, and you went to investigate, finding Elijah, shirtless and sweaty, fixing the nursery.
"I told you not to start without me," you sighed, crossing your arms and leaning against the door.
He looked over his shoulder, smiling at the sight of you, the sunlight coming in through the window and making you glow.
"It needed to be done. I'm almost finished," he replied, standing up and putting the crib together.
"You've been busy," you laughed, walking over and running your hands over the white, wooden furniture. He hand painted the walls and assembled everything, and you felt tears prickle at your eyes.
"It's beautiful," you sighed, looking around.
"Are you crying? Don't cry, darling," he said, pulling you close, your face pressed against his chest.
"I can't help it, these stupid hormones," you sniffled.
"It's alright," he laughed, stroking your hair.
You sighed and pulled away, taking in the nursery. There was a rocking chair and a bookshelf, filled with all the children's books the two of you had collected over the years.
"It looks wonderful," you said, smiling and wiping away your tears.
"Now, what would my lovely wife like to do for the rest of the afternoon? We have the place to ourselves, so I was thinking we could make good use of that large tub in our bathroom," he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"You read my mind," you grinned.
You followed him back into your room, watching him fill up the tub with warm water, pouring in some bubble bath.
"Get undressed, darling," he smiled, taking his pants off and getting in the tub, moaning at the sensation of the water against his skin.
You slowly peeled off your dress, feeling a little self-conscious about your changing body. Here was your husband, eternally chiseled, and there you were, round and swollen.
"Come, let me take care of you," he whispered, seeing your hesitation.
You slipped in next to him, the water and bubbles a nice contrast to the heat of the day.
He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against his chest, placing his hands on the swell of your stomach.
"There, doesn't that feel nice?" he hummed.
"Very nice," you sighed, resting your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes and relaxing.
His hands roamed over your skin, his lips brushing over the curve of your neck.
"I've missed having you all to myself," he whispered, his voice low and seductive.
"Mmm," was all you could say, too relaxed and content to form words.
He gently cupped your breasts, the pads of his thumbs brushing over your nipples, making you whimper and moan.
"Eli," you sighed, his touch sending shivers through your body.
"You're so beautiful," he said, his voice breathy.
You turned your head and looked at him, his gaze filled with lust and desire.
"Do you want to continue this on our bed?" You asked, your voice sultry.
"I'd love to," he replied, the corners of his mouth turning up into a smirk.
He helped you out of the tub, wrapping a towel around your body. Before suddenly scooping you up in his arms, carrying you to the bedroom and laying you down.
"I can't wait until I'm not this enormous," you sighed, looking down at your swollen belly.
"You're not enormous, you're beautiful, and absolutely radiant," he replied, hovering over you, his hand gently resting on your stomach.
You couldn't help but smile, and the tears started rolling down your cheeks.
"Don't cry again, my love," he chuckled.
"I can't help it! Just ignore me," you said, wiping the tears away.
"As if that is possible," he laughed.
He kissed your forehead, moving his way down your body, placing his hands on your hips, his lips pressing soft kisses against the curve of your stomach.
"Elijah, you don't have to do that," you whispered, feeling a little shy.
"But I want to," he replied, kissing his way down, spreading your legs.
"Oh," was all you could say, his tongue swirling over your clit, one hand on your inner thigh, the other resting on your stomach.
He hummed and moaned, the vibrations making you gasp, and arch your back. He could tell you were sensitive, and he was gentle, taking his time.
You ran your fingers through his hair, tugging a little, making him moan and pick up the pace.
" 'lijah," you panted, feeling the pleasure coil in your core.
You couldn't even see him over the swell of your stomach, but you could feel him, and the noises he was making were sending you into overdrive.
"Fuck, don't stop," you gasped, the orgasm hitting you like a ton of bricks, leaving you dizzy and lightheaded.
Elijah was enjoying himself, the taste of you on his tongue, the noises you were making, and the sight of you coming apart, was driving him crazy.
You tugged on his hair, pulling his face away, the sensations becoming too much, and he crawled up your body, kissing your stomach as he moved.
"Did you enjoy that, darling?" He asked, kissing you and tasting yourself on his tongue.
"Mmm yes, very much," you hummed, pushing on his chest so he laid back.
He watched you move, a smirk on his face, his pupils blown. You sat on his thighs, stroking him, seeing his abs tense and relax, and he let out a long, deep moan.
"You are such a good father and husband, always going above and beyond for us," you said, leaning down and licking his length. "Let me show you how much I appreciate you,"
You leaned down and teased his head with your tongue, enjoying the string of curses that came tumbling from his mouth.
A soft hum escaped you as you slowly, and carefully, sucked on the head, teasing and tasting.
"Love, you are exquisite," he groaned, burying his fingers in your hair.
You took him deeper, hollowing your cheeks, letting him move at the pace he desired. All you wanted to do was please him, you loved when his voice would crack from pleasure and the way his fingers would tug on your hair.
"Come here," he said, cupping your cheek.
You pulled off of him with a pop, moving to sit on top of him, kissing him and grinding against his length.
"Mmm, I could do this forever," you hummed, biting his bottom lip and tugging.
He ran his hands up and down your back, nibbling at your shoulder, suckling marks into your skin.
Your swell was pressed against his abs, and he could feel every slight movement, enjoying the sight of you rolling your hips.
He guided you down onto his cock, the sheets bunched up around the two of you, and he rolled his hips, his hands gripping your ass.
"You are stunning," he murmured, kissing the valley between your breasts.
His lips brushed over your nipples, sucking, his teeth grazing them, his groans vibrating through your body.
"Eli- stop, they are too sensitive," you panted, running your nails over his skin, leaving bright red scratches.
"Sorry, love," he replied, grinning at the sting of your nails.
He did most of the work, gently rocking you in a steady rhythm, and the two of you moaned, the pleasure coursing through your bodies, his lips brushing your neck.
It was a slow, hot and steamy fuck, you felt like your body was on fire, the sweat and heat radiating off the two of you.
You leaned forward a little, allowing Elijah to get a little more friction, his hips moving faster, the both of you panting and moaning.
"Ah- Elijah, I'm-," you panted against his lips.
You buried your head in the crook of his neck as you came undone, clenching around him.
Elijah followed suit, the sensation of your orgasm bringing him to the edge.
He cupped the back of your neck, bringing you down for a kiss, and the two of you hummed, content and sated, basking in the afterglow.
"I wish we could stay like this," you sighed, nuzzling against him.
He laughed, and gently rolled you onto your side, pulling out of you and tucking you against his chest, both of you smiling like idiots.
"I love you," he said, stroking your hair.
"I love you too," you whispered, resting your head on his arm, letting the world melt away for just a few minutes.
Elijah watched you drift off to sleep, a small smile on his face. He kissed your forehead and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of being next to you.
It was days like these that made him wonder what he did to deserve it. That perhaps there was some sort of higher power that had guided him to you, that brought him such profound peace and happiness after centuries of darkness.
You mumbled and cuddled up against him, he placed his hand on your belly, rubbing it with his thumb, thinking about how lucky he was.
He was living a life he never thought he would have, a family of his own, one he created. He didn't know what was waiting for him after he was done with this life, but he hoped you would be there with him.
In the next life, and all the ones after that.
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I've gotten a few dm's about my tags not working (yay) so let me know if its still a problem, I just re-tagged all of you so hopefully that solved it ♡
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golden-moony · 5 months
Text
king of my heart | pt. 2
pairings: lando norris x fem!reader | pato o'ward x fem!reader
warnings: love triangle? kinda.
author's note: go get some popcorn cause we have some drama here🍿... and it's a long part, so enjoy!!
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, isahernaez, frosenqvist, and 79,121 others!
yourusername Miami GP over and out ✅🏁 No words could ever explain just how grateful I am for all of you and for the opportunity that I get to cover this amazing sport with such incredible people by my side. Thank you for everything Miami, I hope to see you again soon! 🌴💖
user1 the power she holds 🙌
user2 she's really living my dream 🥹
lissiemackintosh so happy to be able to share this with you!! love u❤️
yourusername we really need to do this more often😘 love u too! user3 y/n and lissie hosting track tv together is my new roman empire fr user4 SLAY QUEENS!! user5 the queens are thriving user6 i wanna be friends with them so bad 😫
user7 omg girl you're STUNNING
user8 BEST F1 WAG
user9 facts facts facts user10 she's not even a wag lol it's so obvious lando just keeps this nobody around for when he's bored and horny user11 user10 this "nobody" has done SO much in terms of women representation in motorsport, she's hardworking and a lovely woman. meanwhile, you're just a sad little person who's jealous of her because she's successful and close to your crush, who doesn't even know who you are. so get a life and stop embarrassing yourself. user12 user11 SAY IT LOUDER 👏 user13 user11 PREACH!!!
user14 i don't know if i wanna be her or be with her😩
user15 this is such a mood tbh
landonorris so proud of you, boo😍
yourusername 🥰🧡 user16 YNLANDO NATION WE WON user17 we love a supporting boyfriend 🤩 user18 i want what they have, your honor user19 is this considered a soft launch or what? user20 y'all are delulu😂 it's so obvious they're just friends user21 user20 girl being delulu is the solulu 🙌
user22 so when are we gonna talk about felix liking the post?
user23 i'm lost sorry, who's felix? user24 user23 he's pato's teammate in indycar and one of his besties user25 if felix liked then WHERE'S PATO user26 user25 doing more important things than being focused on this girl.
lilymhe such a pretty girl 💗
alex_albon should i be jealous? yourusername you should indeed. can u fight? user24 the friendship i didn't know i needed 🥹 user25 MY FAV WAGS INTERACTING YAY
user26 f1 is so lucky to have you!!!
user27 LOOOL why would they be lucky to have her?😂😂😂 she's nothing special user28 user27 and yet she's still rising 💅 user29 user27 then why are you even on her post? lol obsessed much?
user30 my role model ❤️‍🩹
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📞 incoming call
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[y/n; normal] [pato; cursive]
"...Hello? Did you butt-dialed me or something?"
"Uhm, hi. It's not a butt-dial. I-I actually just wanted to talk to you. Hear your voice, y'know. I've been kinda missing you."
"Oh really? And here I was thinking that your cold behavior toward me over the past three weeks meant that you didn't want anything to do with me. Silly me, I guess."
"I-I'm... [sighs]. That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. About the way I've been treating you. I'm sorry, y/n. I really am sorry. I know I've been a total jerk-"
"Yeah, you can put it that way."
"...I've been a total jerk and I regret it very much. You didn't deserve it at all. I just- I'm not trying to excuse my awful behavior but I just think I got- Uhm..."
"You got what?"
"Well... I saw Lando's instagram story when you went back to Monaco, as you've probably already figured it out. And I think- Well... I got jealous. And I know it probably sounds stupid now but at the time it felt like a punch in the face."
"Pato..."
"I know I didn't and still have absolutely no business to be jealous about you and Lando, cause you and I are not dating or anything and you don't owe me any kind of explanation about the type of relationship you have with him. But after the great time we spend together in Long Beach... I don't know, it just hurted seeing you with him. But that doesn't excuse anything and I just regret so much the way I've been treating you since then, it hasn't been fair to you at all."
"And it didn't cross your mind that we could have had this conversation way before now? I mean, you waited three weeks to finally talk to me like a decent human being, how-"
"I know and I'm so-"
"Let me finish."
"Sorry, go on."
"However, I do appreciate that you're finally acknowledging all of this and communicating with me like an actual adult. I know it's not always easy to do. And although I don't owe you any kind of explanation, I just want you to know that there's nothing going on between Lando and me."
"So you and him...?"
"We're friends and that's it. We care for each other but there's nothing going on."
"Oh... well, thanks for clarifying that for me."
"Yeah, yeah. You'll have to work harder for my forgiveness, anyway. I appreciate the call but it won't be that easy for you."
"Is that so?"
"You've heard me."
"In that case, what would you say if I invite you for a few days to come here to Punta Mita? Maybe that'll help me a little to earn your forgiveness."
"... I'm sorry, what!?"
"You've heard me."
"You're joking. You have to be joking."
"I'm not joking. You're still in Miami, right?"
"I am..."
"Great! My brother in law is in Miami too and he'll take the jet tomorrow morning. If you want to, you can join him and come here with him! We'd be thrilled to have you here too."
"Oh my God... Pato, I don't know what to say!"
"Say yes and you'd make this birthday boy the happiest man in the world. You'd even make my sister happy, I've been telling her a lot about you and now she's eager to meet you."
"I hope you've been telling her good things about me, then."
"Only the best. She's even on your side, y'know. Said I was being a giant cabrón and needed to make things right. She wasn't wrong tho."
"[giggles] Fine. I'll go, but I'm only doing this for your sister."
"I'll take that anyway! I'll let Brett know you'll join him and I'll send you the details, okay?"
"Okay!"
"Now go and pack your bags for tomorrow."
"Hey! Don't get bosy with me, mister!"
"[Laughs] Fine. Take care, I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you, birthday boy!"
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patriciooward posted to his story!
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[caption 1; 🦈] [caption 2; beautiful views]
yourusername posted to their story!
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[caption 1; para-para-paradise 🌞] [caption 2; in his sharkboy era] [caption 3; 🐶❤️]
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paddockgossips
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liked by magui_corceiro and 84,091 others!
paddockgossips Among the alleged "breakup" between y/n and Lando, the McLaren driver was photographed last night having fun in a Monaco club in the company of Max Fewtrell and other friends. Some sources have said that Lando seemed very cozy with a blonde woman at the party, whom he later left with. However, we cannot verify this information in any way, so it remains a rumor.
user1 I HAVE A CHANCE AGAIN (i'm delulu)
user2 so this confirms ynlando is over?? 😭
user3 girl i'm devastated 😭😭😭 user4 i'm still in denial user5 well they were never together to begin with user6 user5 THIS!! people act like they were a couple when they NEVER confirmed anything 😂
user7 "blonde woman at the party" "it remains a rumor" and magui goes and like the post LOL
user8 she's so desperate for attention🙄 user9 who's magui??? user10 user9 she's kika's friend and she was dating football player João Félix not so long ago (in fact, i thought they were still together lol) user11 user10 and don't forget she's a cheater. user12 user9 she's trouble
user13 yn >>>>>>>> magui
user14 user13 no need to compare them
user15 sorry but single lando it's so hot 🥵
user16 SO TRUE user17 FACTS he looks so good omfg
user18 in his heartbreaker era 😎
user19 in his reputation era 😎 user20 in his idgaf era 😎
user21 i'm a child of divorce fr
user22 i know y'all love y/n for some reason but i'm SO glad lando finally got away from her.
user23 SAME. and if magui makes him happy then great for him user24 stfu i'm mourning here
user25 y/n this magui that but max was, is and will forever be lando's true wag💅
user26 the one and only indeed
elbaoward posted to her story!
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[caption1; off to dinner] [caption2; my love🤍] [caption 3; lovebirds!]
patriciooward
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liked by landonorris, yourusername, brettkimbro, and 86,382 others!
patriciooward BDAY WKND DUMP 📸 thank y'all for all the love❤️‍🔥
user1 THE HARD LAUNCH IT'S HARD LAUNCHING
user2 OMG IT'S HAPPENING EVERYBODY STAY CAAAAALM
user3 he really said i'll give you what you want: thrist traps and y/n... and he's so real for that
user4 he really knows his audience user5 king behavior if u ask me user6 everybody say thank you Pato 🙏
user7 YNPATO NATION HOW ARE WE FEELING??
user8 I'M STILL SPEECHLESS user9 they're so perfect i wanna cry😭 user10 LOVE TO SEE🔥
user11 as a ynlando shipper i have to admit they're cute but ngl this still hurts 😩
user12 MOOD user13 ynlando will always be in our hearts 🥺 user14 ynlando >>>>>>>>>> ynpato user15 user13 girl grow up.
user16 THAT SHOULD BE ME
elbaoward where are my credits for the last pic? cuties🤍
user17 u literally gave us the cutest pic ever user18 elba thank you so much for your service🫡 user19 elba is ynpato's #1 fan and you can't tell me otherwise user20 elba is just like us fr user21 LOVE YOU ELBAAAAA 🩷
user22 MOM AND DAD
user23 can't believe how fast she moved on and got together with this dude lol lando really dodged a bullet with her
user24 how fast she moved on?? girl y/n and lando were never even together so stfu user25 ???? why are you even on pato's ig post? go away user26 user23 y/n is such an attention seeker and yet everyone loves her, i'll never understand it 🥱
user27 not to be that person but i would KILL to be that piñata😏
user28 MOOD
frosenqvist oh to be tanned, young and in love
patriciooward 😜 user29 IN LOVE??? FELIX BESTIE TELL US MORE user30 i don't know about y'all but this is all the confirmation i need about ynpato being real, bye user31 i think i can hear the wedding bells user32 user31 yesss and felix as pato's best man
user33 bestie don't be shy and drop more y/n pics 🫶
user34 i second the motion !!!
user35 NOT LANDO LIKING THE POST LOOOOL
user36 he is so unserious i love him user37 ICONIC BEHAVIOR TBH user38 yeah but i just know he's crying inside user39 user38 for what? lol lando knows he's so much better than this cheaper version of him. user40 user39 i'm so done with people like you who insult pato just because you cannot defend lando with good arguments.
yourusername magical weekend 💖
patriciooward with you there? always user41 STOP THEY'RE SO CUTE OMG user42 this is such an upgrade tbh user43 SO HAPPY FOR THEM 🥹 user44 what a bitch.
yourusername posted to their story!
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[caption 1; back to reality✈️] [caption 2; I'm a high performance athlete. Athletes sweat. Sweat, baby] [caption 3; cutest model🧡]
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paddockgossips
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liked by magui_corceiro and 53,237 other people!
paddockgossips NEW WAG ALERT? 🚨 Magui Corceiro, the Portuguese model and actress, attended the Monaco GP after being seen a few days ago having lunch with Lando. It has been rumored that they could be in a relationship, especially since Lando and y/n apparently went different ways, and Corceiro's presence in the paddock has not gone unnoticed by anyone. Still, neither Lando nor Magui have confirmed or denied these rumors.
user1 A TRIGGER WARNING WOULD BE NICE NEXT TIME
user2 um let's hope there isn't a next time user3 user2 let's pray girl, let's pray 🙏
user4 "neither lando nor magui have confirmed or denied these rumors" well that's bs cause she just liked the post
user5 istg she's trying so hard to get attention user6 lando was asked about magui and he said she was just a friend... and then she goes and does this lol what a clout chaser user7 and people used to say that y/n was after lando's fame and yet she NEVER did anything like this user8 she's such a pick me girl
user9 everything i know of this girl has been against my will istg
user10 SAME
user11 oh good luck lando
user12 oh be prepared for the y/n fans and little girls that'll come attack magui when she hasn't even done anything wrong
user13 literally they're just mad at magui cause she's dating their fav driver loool user14 they're only jealous cause magui is a gorgeous woman user15 user14 she's gorgeous but she's still a snake
user16 i'd ask why lando would be with someone like her, but then i remember he's an adult and if he wants someone like her by his side then that's up to him. let's not treat him like a baby please
user17 say👏 it👏 louder👏
user18 weeeeell if this is the kind of people lando likes to have around then i guess y/n really dodged a bullet with him
user19 FACTS user20 i mean at the end of the day he's just another privileged white boy, so🤷‍♀️ user21 i really don't get all the hate that she's getting, is she really that problematic? user22 user21 girl google it yourself but yeah, she is
user23 I MISS MY GIRL Y/N WHERE IS SHEEEEEEEE??
user24 what is she even doing there?
user25 must be cause lando wanted her to be there user26 why y'all never asked the same thing about y/n? y'all are such hypocrites istg user27 user26 cause y/n was actually doing her job????? user28 user26 oh you're stupid 😂😂
user29 magui in the paddock, pato not being able to finish Indy 500... it really is a shitty day huh
user30 DON'T EVEN REMIND ME WHAT HAPPENED WITH PATO OMFG user31 I'M STILL SO MAD ABOUT PATO user32 the only good part is that y/n and his family were there for him ❤️‍🩹
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see y'all in part 3!
taglist: @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @evie-119 @evans-dejong @minkyungseokie @noneofyourfbusinessworld @bernelflo @eiaaasamantha @ijustgomessitupx @honethatty12 @daemyratwst @f1fan65
(if you'd like to be tagged in the next part, just let me know in the comments!🧡)
602 notes · View notes
thefanficmonster · 7 months
Note
Not sure if ur accepting requests for the bear.. but could we maybe get a Mikey x reader where she finds out she's pregnant after he died (big angst tbh) and she comes to the restaurant a mess and tells everyone and it's sad but everyone's shocked or something idk if that makes sense lol, thanks
Ahhh the angst! My favorite genre to write 🙈 Thank you so much for the request, darling! I hope you enjoy the fic 💌
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Too Much, Too Late
Michael 'Mikey' Berzatto x Reader (Female) [The Bear]
Warnings: Mentioned Suicide, Mentioned Past Drug Abuse (dealing and consuming), Pregnancy, Swearing, SPOILERS for The Bear
Genre: ANGST, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Angst with a happy ending
Summary: see request above
It was a job like any other. It was supposed to be one of those briskly-in-swiftly-out deals. All you had to do was keep it on the down low, distribute your products, get your pay and leave.
However, that didn't happen exactly as planned.
"Why are you in such a rush, sweetheart?" You found yourself accosted by a man who was very clearly three sheets to the wind already. The redness of his eyes, the dilated pupils and the alcohol on his breath suggested he was under several influences. Still, none of that was any justification for his borderline sleazy behavior. "Why don't you accompany me in blowing through this, huh?" He held up the baggie he'd just bought off you, causing you to roll your eyes.
In another setting, preferably under vastly different circumstances you would've probably found him attractive and would even like to uphold a conversation with him. Then again, in those ideal circumstances you imagine he wouldn't have been nearly as obnoxious as he was being in that moment.
Besides, you had a strict rule against participating in drugs with your clients. Or just drugs, period. Anything stronger than weed, that is.
You wanted to get him off your back as soon as possible so, instead of shutting him down in your typical cut-throat manner, you decided to let him down slowly and vanish before his object permanence kicked in. "Another time, pal. I have a busy night ahead."
It worked like a charm anytime someone tried to sweep you off your feet.
However, none of those other occasions had any follow-up. This one, on the other hand....
"Hey."
You had been caught up in your thoughts, making a mental itinerary for the next few days worth of deliveries when a voice startled you out of your tranquility.
It was the following morning and you were headed to the dumpster that was your plug's house - if you could even call it that.
Looking up, you couldn't help but frown at the sight of the 'flirt' from last night standing on the porch of your plug's house, leanings against the fence, smoking a cigarette.
"Hi?" The word came out automatically, a notation of confusion to it which made him smile.
"I don't know if you not remembering me is for better or for worse. I understand I came off a bit....gross last night." His unoccupied hand clasped around the back of his neck, an apologetic half-smile on his lips.
Despite being puzzled by the predicament, you found yourself chuckling, "No, no, I remember you. And don't worry about it, you were pretty tame compared to other shitbags I've had to deal with."
Your wording made him let out a laugh, "Yeah, 'shitbag' sums me up nicely."
Realizing how your words were poorly transmitted, you hurried to correct yourself, "No! That's not what I..."
He laughed yet again, amused by the blush that had crept onto your cheeks, "I know, I'm just fucking with you." He flashed you a charming smile as he tossed his cigarette and offered you his hand, "I'm Michael, by the way, but everyone calls me Mikey."
You were surprised by your own lack of hesitation as you took it, "Y/N, nice to meet you, Mikey."
What did surprise you was his smooth gesture - bringing the back of your hand to his lips, pressing a quick kiss to your knuckles. You could see relief flood his features when you only scoffed in amusement. "Hope you don't mind, I asked around about you at the party last night. You're quite the phantom, you know. Nobody knew anything except your plug and it was a whole other hassle having to track him down."
You would've been lying if you said you didn't find his effort flattering. "Why go through all that trouble?"
There was that charming smile once more, now accompanied by a wink, "Cause that ain't a face you simply forget, darling."
That's how it all started, three years ago. But you can hardly remember any of it now. Everything has quickly been overshadowed by the tragedy that rocked your world.
Losing the love of your life. No one and nothing can ever prepare you for such a thing. No one can take away or aid the pain it brings on. No one can tell you how to move on, if you ever will. No two grieving processes are the same and yours has been very quiet. Too quiet. You can't even remember if you've cried since you found out a week ago. You can't remember having spoken to anyone since that dreadful phone call.
It's all been building up, piling on - the calm before the storm.
And the storm has just crashed down on you, tears finally spilling over past the barrier you're able to hold them at. Sobs scratch up your throat, racking your ribcage, echoing back at you off the bathroom walls. All the agony, all the pain, the regret, the guilt the grief - it all spills out in those harrowing sobs as tears stream down your face, falling onto the sink counter and pregnancy test on it.
The positive pregnancy test.
"No, no, no...." You mumble to yourself in despair, unsure of what exactly you're saying no to.
You don't even have time to process how you feel about it, if you want it, whether you're happy about it or not. All that's plaguing your mind is the gnawing thought of what if?
What if you'd found out two weeks earlier? What if you told him? What if that changed his mind? Would you still have him by your side if he knew he'd be a dad? Would this be a reason for joy and excitement for the two of you? Having your own little family, fucked up in its own way but miles better than your individual families.
You never met his, he never met your. Unlike him, though, you haven't seen your folks in years, five to be exact. He put up with his, you had cut off yours.
You're well versed into his family and their dynamics though, thanks to all the stories Mikey told you throughout the years. You specifically remember him talking about his siblings with such adoration. Natalie and Carmen. The only supposedly sane ones of the bunch.
Wiping the tears off your burning red cheeks, you regain control of your breathing, effectively calming yourself down as you take a long look at yourself in the mirror. You will yourself to put a hand over your belly, taking a moment to let the realization of there being a living thing inside you sink in.
Your and Mikey's baby.
A baby that'll never know the wonderful man that is their dad.
"Don't worry, baby. If they don't want us, we'll always have each other."
* * * * *
After a sleepless night, you find yourself struggling not to nod off on the train.
You thought you'd feel a lot more....well, something more as you approach the inevitable meeting with Mikey's brother. Instead, you're quite numb, immune to whatever you might be faced with once you arrive at the restaurant. Nothing he might say or do can faze you, not after the week you've had. Though you're pretty sure his hasn't been any better. He lost his brother after all. It could be a point of mutual understanding for the two of you or a point of collision and apperhension.
Only one way to find out.
You're surprised by the sheer boldness with which you enter the sandwich shop. Again, you thought you might exhibit at least mild hesitation but you have never been prone to such reservations. You still do things like you used to back in your dealer days - briskly-in-swiftly-out.
This is no different.
Upon entry, the interior feels familiar. You've been here only twice before, always after closing, snuck in by Mikey as a date night. He'd cook for you while you DJed with the restaurant sound system in the office. It was the peak of romance in your relationship.
Never once did you think one day you'd be coming in alone, during work hours, the memories bringing tears to your eyes.
You push the pain to the backburner when a waiter approaches you. "Welcome, what can I get ya?"
You force the closest thing to a smile you can manage, "Carmen Berzatto, if possible."
Just then, as if on cue, sounds of chaos flood out from the kitchen into the seating area. It doesn't really seem to bother any of the three tables enjoying their meal, but you are certainly a little shocked. You remember Mikey mentioning shit would get chaotic in back of house, but you'd never imagined it'd be this bad.
The waiter casually peers over his shoulder, pressing his lips in a thin line, "I can't promise you anything but I'll go ask. Who's asking for him?" He inquires, already uneasy at the thought of what he'll be met with in the kitchen.
"Mikey's girlfriend." You watch, in real time, as the poor guy's eyes hollow out in shock, his eyebrows raising impossibly high.
Despite being rattled by your response, he manages to clear his throat and murmur a quick, "Please wait here" before disappearing out of view.
Less than a minute later, the door to the kitchen swung open again, the man emerging from the kitchen shocking you with his lack of resemblance to Michael. Fair hair, bright blue eyes, overall soft features whereas Mikey was all sharp edges, dark brown hair and chocolate eyes.
He too, quite like his brother, is doing a poor job masking his confusion as he offers you a tattooed hand as a greeting, "Hi."
You take it, "Hi."
The rowdiness picks up yet again, causing Carmy to motion for you to follow him, "It's a little too loud in here." You nod and follow suit as he leads you out through a back exit to a fenced of area. He shuts the door, drowning out most of the noise before he turns back to face you, "Alright, tell me everything."
It takes all the will you have coupled with all the pride within you not to let yourself shed any tears as you sum up five of the best years of your life in front of this stranger. It gets especially hard when you see his eyes gloss over but you manage to keep it together. Your chest feels somewhat lighter once you bare one of the biggest secrets in your life, knowing there cannot be any repercussions now.
Because...well...he's gone.
"Fuck..." Is all Carmy can say to break the silence after you've concluded your story. His gaze is trained on the ground, his hand cupped around his mouth. He suddenly lifts his head to look at you, making you feel a little too exposed. Those eyes stare right through you. "Why didn't he ever tell us about you?"
You shrug, you have no real answer. You don't know why he would tell them but you're none the wiser as to why he didn't tell them either. So, you just stay quiet.
He nods, pausing for a second to collect his thoughts before speaking up again, "I-I gotta ask...did you suspect anything? Like, did you see any signs?"
You were expecting this. That doesn't mean it hurts any less to actually hear him ask it. You force yourself to inhale a shaky breath before replying, speaking around the knot in your throat, "No. I saw him that morning, he seemed fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. We were talking about the game. He was excited the Sox had won. He made us breakfast. I ironed his shirt for work and I sent him off. And...." You take a moment to maintain your composure, "...that was the last time I saw him."
"Fucking hell..." He sighs out, the curse pouring out from the depths of his soul. He takes a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket, taking one and offering the pack to you, "You smoke?"
You shake your head, "Yeah, but I can't right now." You let out a bitter chuckle as you add on: "Last night...I found out I'm pregnant."
Carmy chokes on the puff he'd just inhaled, coughing out the smoke. He gives you a deer-in-headlights look, trying to gouge your reaction so he can mimic his accordingly. You help him out by giving him a slight smile, allowing him to reflect it back at you ten fold.
"No fucking way." He laughs, prompting you to nod, your eyes filling with tears for the millionth time today. He tosses his cigarette, motioning for you to approach him, "Come here." His arms wrap around you and you damn near break down, finally allowing yourself to shed those tears you've been holding back as you hug him back, squeezing him tightly.
You didn't realize how much you'd needed that hug, that comfort. You had no one to offer it to you. It's funny how quickly people can become important in our lives - in this case, only minutes after entering yours.
You're both startled when the door is thrown open revealing a man you don't recognize initially. His demeanor allows you to connect him to a name soon though.
"Cousin, what the fuck?! We're fighting a war in there...- oh, my bad." He straightens his attitude when he notices you, "Hi there."
Sniffling, Carmy wipes a stray tear before offering Richie a wide smile, "Cousin, we're gonna be uncles."
The confusion on his face provokes a laugh out of you, a genuine one at that. It's refreshing, nostalgic almost. And although you're well aware you'll have to retell your and Mikey's story several more times to catch people up to speed, you know that it'll be a little less dreadful each time.
* * * * *
It's over. The five minutes of utter hell and chaos are over.
You share a look of disbelief with Syd before bursting out in hysterical laughter, enveloping each other in a hug.
"We did it."
"We fucking did it."
Wiping sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand, you beam up at Richie who is equally as high on the feel of accomplishment. His arms wrap around you so tightly, he momentarily lifts you off the ground.
It's finally the calm after the storm. You can finally relax without waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You rush out to the dining are, going straight to Sugar and Pete's table where your one year old son is being entertained by the couple, cackling as Pete tickles his feet.
"Hope he wasn't too much trouble." You say as you approach their side, your voice prompting Sugar to get up and practically tackle you with upmost joy.
"Great job back there, Y/N." She beams at you, holding your hands tightly when she pulls away.
"You too, mama." You smile back, resting a hand over her swollen belly just in time to feel a kick.
Turning back to Calvin, you see him making grabby hands at you, giggling when you pick him up, peppering kisses all over his face, "Hi, baby!" You coo to him, adjusting his surprisingly still clean shirt. A fancy one, curtesy of Richie. Him, Fak and Calvin are in matching suits tonight and it's the most adorable thing. "Wanna go see uncle Carmy?"
It's ridiculous you even asked. The little boy cheers happily, kicking his feet as you carry him back to the kitchen, stopping in front of the freezer door to knock on it.
"What?!" You hear Carmy's rough voice boom from inside.
"Carmy!" Calvin calls out to his uncle, his tiny hands tapping on the freezer door, "Hiiii!"
"Hi Baby Bear." His tone has softened now, raising to an octave higher, "Your mommy is a badass, you know that."
"Oh he knows." You reply, resting your forehead on the cool metal, "We did it, Carm. We took care of it. Everything's handled, don't worry." You take this moment of calmness on his end to reassure him that no matter what anxieties are plaguing him, everything is and will be fine.
"I know you did, Y/N. You're an awesome team. Just wish I was in the fire with you, you know?" He says through a shaky breath, causing your heart to ache.
"Oh this was just the frying pan, dude. You'll be there for the many fires to come." Your words are successful in making him laugh, bringing you relief.
"I cook too!" Calvin proudly proclaims, making you both chuckle.
"You'll cook too, Teddy Bear. You'll be the best fucking chef ever." You gave up a while ago trying to shield Calvin from the sailor mouths of the Berzatto family and the restaurant as a whole. If he has a potty mouth from a very early age, you'll just blame it on his dad and uncles.
You never dreamed you'd find yourself in the cahoots of such a batshit crazy and immensely loving family. It really makes you feel a sense of fulfillment looking back at how far you've come and look forward knowing that you'll never come to a point where you'll be alone.
You'll always have your son, the Berzattos and The Bear by your side.
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oofthwoods · 7 months
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CHAPTER ONE! ── ˙ ̟ bring home the glory !!
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 :: "what is a legacy? it's planting seeds in a garden you never get to see. i wrote some notes at the beginning of a song someone will sing for me". | a victorious journey always begins with a death and an offer.
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 :: funerals, grief and death. if you don't feel comfortable with these themes, go straight to the part after 2023. you won't lose much, i promise! the second part is somehow based on right hand man from hamilton, don't ask about it. this is pretty much a prologue number two tbh, but i still hope you enjoy it.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 :: 3.2k
⭠ previous masterlist next ‭→
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2021
In the solemn setting of the cemetery, the sun hung in the sky, seemingly unaware of the grief below. Its golden rays contrasted sharply with the darkness consuming your soul, each beam of light piercing through the heavy clouds of sorrow. As tears streaked your face, the warmth of the sun felt out of place, a painful reminder of the world's indifference to your shattered heart.
Standing beside the graveside, you looked up to the sky, seeking solace in its vastness. But the heavens offered no comfort, no relief from the ache within. You wondered why the sky remained clear, why it didn't reflect the storm of emotions raging inside you. Its serene blue expanse seemed to mock your devastation, its unwavering indifference amplifying your pain.
Your mother and her siblings stood ahead, their shoulders bowed under the weight of grief, their sobs a haunting melody that echoed through the air. But you stood alone, isolated in your sorrow, drowning in memories that threatened to consume you whole.
Memories of your grandfather flooded your mind like a deluge, each one a bittersweet reminder of the love you had lost. His laughter, once a source of joy and comfort, now felt distant and painful, a cruel reminder of all that had been taken from you. His stories, his wisdom, his gentle touch — they all seemed like distant echoes of a life that was slipping further and further away with each passing moment.
You recalled his final moments, the frailty of his form, the sadness in his eyes as he whispered his last words to you. "Be proud of who you are," he had said, his voice barely a whisper, his breath brushing against your cheek. "And never forget where you come from. Your roots are your strength, my dear." His words had been a lifeline in the storm of your grief, a reminder of the legacy he had left behind, of the love that would endure long after he was gone.
As you stood beside his grave, the words offered little solace. They felt empty, a faint reminder of the warmth once found in his embrace. You longed to reach out to him, to feel the warmth of his touch one last time, to beg for just a moment more in his comforting presence. But he was gone, lost to you forever in a world that seemed infinitely colder and darker without him.
You closed your eyes, allowing the tears to fall freely as you whispered your silent goodbyes to him, each word a prayer for his eternal peace. But even as you spoke, you knew that no amount of tears could ever hope to fill the void he had left behind, that no words could ever hope to capture the depth of your loss.
As you stood there, lost in your grief, the soft sound of footsteps approached from behind. You turned to see your mother returning, her eyes red and swollen from tears, her expression etched with the same pain that weighed heavily on your own heart. For a moment, you simply stood there, sharing a silent understanding born from the depths of your shared sadness.
Without a word, she wrapped you in a gentle hug, her arms providing solace amidst the whirlwind of emotions swirling around you. "I'm not sure I can go on without him, Mom," you murmured, your voice barely audible as you buried your face against her shoulder.
Her embrace tightened, her fingers gently combing through your hair. "I feel the same way, sweetheart. But we have to find strength, for his sake," she whispered softly, her words tinged with a mixture of sadness and determination.
As you leaned into her embrace, the weight of your grief seemed to press down upon you, threatening to crush you beneath its relentless force. Your mother's presence briefly brought comfort, like a delicate lifeline amidst the stormy sea of emotions swirling inside you.
"I miss him so much already," you confessed with your voice trembling. "It feels like a part of me is missing, like I'll never be whole again."
Her arms tightened around you, a silent reassurance that you were not alone. "I know, my love. I do too," she whispered, her voice thick with unshed tears. "He was the heart of our family, the glue that held us together."
A bittersweet silence fell between you, punctuated only by the soft rustle of leaves in the gentle breeze. Memories of your grandfather danced through your mind like flickering candle flames, casting shadows of laughter and love against the walls of your grief-stricken heart.
"Do you think he's watching over us?" you asked quietly, your voice barely a whisper in the stillness of the evening.
Her hand stilled against your hair. "I'd like to think so," she replied, her voice wavering with uncertainty. "I'd like to believe that he's found peace, that he's somewhere out there, looking down on us with love in his heart."
Tears welled in your eyes as you imagined him, a silent guardian in the heavens above, watching over you with a warmth that transcended the boundaries of life and death. "I hope he knows how much we love him," you whispered, your words a fervent prayer whispered into the vast expanse of the sky.
"I'm sure he does, my dear," she murmured, her voice soft with tenderness. "And I know that wherever he is, he'll always be with us, guiding us through the darkness, lighting our way with the love that he left behind."
As your mother's words gently washed over you, a sudden movement caught your eye. In the corner of your vision, a flash of royal blue fluttered amidst the solemn surroundings. You blinked, momentarily startled, before fixing your gaze on the delicate creature that alighted on a nearby branch.
A small gasp escaped your lips as you beheld the bird, its feathers shimmering like fragments of the sky woven into living form. With a heart full of wonder, you watched as it stretched its wings, basking in the fading light of the evening sun.
"We can leave now, if you're ready, sweetheart." her mother murmured, delicately turning her daughter's face to meet her own. 
As your mother looked into your eyes, you could see the sadness reflecting in them, speaking volumes on its own. Although she softly hinted that you could go if you wished, it was evident that she longed for some respite from the weight of your mutual grief. Beneath her calm demeanor, you sensed her vulnerability, a silent plea to escape the overpowering sorrow surrounding you both. With a simple nod, you silently agreed.
With a mix of sadness and resolve, you followed your mother's lead, letting her guide you away from the graveside and back into the world. While you walked together, a quick look back caught your attention, drawing your eyes to the scene you were departing. And there, on top of the gravestone, sat the blue bird, its colorful feathers standing out against the solemn surroundings.
For a moment, time seemed to stand still as you watched the bird, a silent sentinel overlooking the final resting place of your beloved grandfather. He seemed to look at you, and, if birds could smile, you would swear he did.
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2023
You find yourself standing outside a closed door, your hand hesitantly reaching out to lightly tap against the wood. The muffled voices from within only add to your uncertainty, but the urgency of speaking with the team principal before the Abu Dhabi sprint pushes you to take action. Whatever discussion awaits behind that door must be significant enough to pull you away from your pre-race meeting with the mechanics.
In the stillness of the hallway, time seems to stretch endlessly as you wait for a response that never comes. With a mixture of nerves and anticipation coursing through your veins, you finally muster the courage to grasp the doorknob. Its cool metal provides a fleeting sense of reassurance as you turn it slowly, the hinges creaking softly in protest as the door swings open to reveal the dimly lit room beyond.
Inside, seated at a table, is Mr. Vowles, engrossed in conversation. Your presence at the threshold goes unnoticed for a moment until you gather your resolve and speak up, your voice barely above a whisper as you address him.
"Mr. Vowles, did you need to see me?" you venture, your words hanging in the air with a hint of uncertainty.
At the sound of your voice, James looks up, his expression softening into a welcoming smile.
"Williams, come in," he says, his warm tone instantly easing your nerves as he gestures for you to enter. "Have you met Sargeant?" he continues, motioning towards a figure standing nearby, their presence previously hidden in the shadows of the room.
As James mentions Logan, it's like a floodgate of memories bursting open, whisking you back to the time when you and Logan shared an unbreakable bond. You were inseparable, navigating the twists and turns of life at the academy with laughter, support, and a shared vision of the future.
But as the competition for a spot in Formula One heated up, your friendship began to strain. What started as friendly competition slowly morphed into something more complicated. The pressure mounted, and with it came a subtle shift in your relationship. Each race seemed to drive a wedge between you, rather than bringing you closer.
It was at the peak of your rivalry that things started to unravel. Every little disagreement or perceived slight seemed to fester, poisoning the once vibrant atmosphere between you. Despite your efforts to keep up appearances, there was an underlying tension that threatened to fracture your bond.
When Logan secured a seat at Williams while you remained in F2, a whirlwind of emotions swept over you. Of course, you were genuinely happy for him, but there was also a pang of envy and disappointment gnawing at your heart. It felt like a piece of your own dream slipping away, leaving you grappling with a sense of loss you couldn't quite shake.
And then, just when you thought things couldn't get any more complicated, James hinted at the possibility of you stepping into Logan's shoes. The idea of replacing your friend-turned-competitor added another layer of complexity to an already tangled web of emotions. It was a constant battle between your ambition and the fear of losing the one person who had been by your side through it all.
"Yes, sir," you respond, choosing a simple response. Logan's gaze meets yours, seeming to ignite with intensity. "We keep on meeting"
In a deliberate choice of silence, Logan sidestepped any engagement with you, his eyes fixed on the team leader instead. "As I was just saying," he began, his voice brimming with confidence, "I truly believe that with these adjustments, I can improve my control over the car."
James reciprocated Logan's smile, though his gaze hinted at a wandering mind. "Sargeant?" he interrupted, signaling a shift in focus to another pressing matter.
"Yes, sir?" Sergeant replied promptly, ready for further instructions.
"We'll talk about this later. Close the door on your way out," James commanded, his tone decisive, drawing their exchange to a close.
As Logan's footsteps faltered on his way out, a pang of unease settled in your chest. You couldn't shake the guilt that crept in, knowing your success might come at the cost of his dreams.
In the relentless world of Formula One, sentimentality was a luxury few could afford. You grappled with the harsh reality that success often meant sacrificing the dreams of others. It was a something you had grappled with since the beginning of your journey, one that forced you to confront the truth that in this fiercely competitive arena, there would always be someone waiting in the wings to take your place if you faltered.
As you redirected your focus towards James, the man who now held the reins of your family's team, you couldn't help but reflect on the rarity of such a moment. Conversations with him had been few and far between, a testament to the typical hierarchy within Formula One teams where direct interaction between a team leader and a junior driver, especially mere hours before a pivotal race, was uncommon.
“Have I done something wrong, sir?” You ventured, a tinge of uncertainty coloring your tone.
"Not at all, quite the opposite actually," James responded, rising from his seat and leaning casually against the table, his arms folded. "Your stats this season are impressive—seven wins, numerous podium finishes. You've got a bright future ahead of you. But here's the thing, every day I see offers come across my desk to buy out your contract, and frankly, I find it amusing."
"Uh, sorry, I'm not following," you admitted, furrowing your brow in confusion.
"Williams, why is it that no team seems to be able to snag you?" James clarified, a hint of curiosity lacing his words. "You're undeniably talented, but turning down offers from big names like Alpine and Alpha Tauri might not be the smartest move."
"To drive their tractor, or worse, become a reserve driver? I don't think so." you remarked with a disbelieving smirk.
"Think about it, a spot at Alpha Tauri could open doors at Red Bull down the line," James suggested, attempting to sway your perspective.
"Everyone knows they have their sights set on Daniel Ricciardo, or Liam Lawson at best" you countered, a note of frustration creeping into your voice. "I'm a bit lost here. Why are you laying all this out for me?" you questioned, a perplexed furrow creasing your brow. You knew full well the offers on the table and why you were declining them. James likely wasn't in the dark about your reasons either.
"I'm just being honest with you," He replied, his tone carrying a hint of earnestness. His hand reached up to rub his forehead, fingers tracing over the lines etched there as if seeking solace in the familiar. "We're on a tight budget," he explained, a touch of resignation in his voice. "We're short on engineers and mechanics compared to almost everyone else, except maybe Haas and Sauber. While we've made progress since last year, I can't promise our car will match up to the competition next season."
James lifted his gaze, fixing it upon you with a mixture of earnestness and concern. "I'm not one to squander talent. I know you've got your reasons for sticking with us, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to have you on board. But I can't move forward without ensuring you understand exactly what you're signing up for."
"I'm just asking for a shot, James. Just one chance to prove that we've still got what it takes," you implored, your words tinged with determination. Images of past triumphs flickered through your mind, a reminder of the team's glory days.
With a weary smile, James let out a soft sigh. "Seems like sheer tenacity runs in the family, huh?"
"They used to say I took after my grandmother," you remarked casually, a wistful grin playing on your lips.
Turning to the desk, the man retrieved a piece of paper from a drawer, his movements deliberate and measured. "What are the odds?"
You knew precisely what he was referring to. "Iwasa's already out of the running. If I take the sprint, I'll have enough points to clinch the championship."
Extending the contract towards you, James presented it as if unveiling a glimpse of what lay ahead. "Win this championship, and the seat is yours."
The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, mingling with the anticipation that crackled between you. With the contract poised like a tantalizing promise, the room seemed to hold its breath.
You reached out tentatively, fingers hovering over the document that held the potential to shape your future. The paper felt crisp beneath your touch.
"I know it's a risk, trading one rookie for another" James conceded, his voice tinged with a hint of apprehension. "But I believe in you, and I need someone who believes in this team."
A surge of determination coursed through your veins, bolstered by James's unwavering faith. "I won't let you down," you vowed, your voice steady despite the flutter of nerves in her chest.
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"TO TOP OFF AN INCREDIBLE SEASON, Y/N WILLIAMS WINS THE ABU DHABI SPRINT AND HAS ENOUGH POINTS TO CROWN HERSELF A CHAMPION." The narrator's voice reverberated through the sprawling circuit, amplifying the momentous declaration that crowned your achievement.
The roar of victory surged through the airwaves as your race engineer's voice erupted over the radio, a symphony of celebration. "You did it, Williams! Formula 2 champion, with one race to spare!"
Amidst the cacophony of cheers echoing from Rodin Carlin's garage, you felt a surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins, the weight of your accomplishment settling upon your shoulders like a mantle of triumph. Your mind raced with a whirlwind of emotions, a torrent of exclamations, gratitude, and tears that threatened to overwhelm your senses.
As you gradually eased the car to a decelerating pace, you couldn't help but feel the swell of pride and disbelief wash over you. With trembling hands, you lifted them skyward in a gesture of reverence, a silent tribute to the one who had inspired you journey.
"This one's for you, grandpa," you murmured, your voice a whisper against the backdrop of roaring engines and jubilant cheers. "I hope you're proud up there."
Amidst the jubilant chaos enveloping the pit lane, your thoughts swirled like a tempestuous storm, each emotion vying for dominance in the tumult of your mind. As you joined in the exultant cheers of your team, a sense of disbelief mingled with elation, the reality of your victory sinking in with each heartbeat.
In the midst of the celebration, you couldn't help but steal a moment to glance towards the podium, where your destiny awaited. The anticipation pulsed within you, a heady mixture of excitement and nervous energy propelling youforward.
As you ascended to the highest step, each stride felt like a triumph, a testament to the countless hours of dedication and sacrifice that have led you to this pinnacle moment. Your mind hummed with a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, a kaleidoscope of memories and aspirations swirling in the depths of your consciousness.
The thunderous roar of the crowd enveloped you like a tidal wave, the sound of applause echoing in your ears as you stand upon the podium, bathed in the radiant glow of the spotlight. Your chest swells with pride, your heart beating in time with the pulsating energy of the spectators.
Locking eyes with James amidst the sea of faces, you feel a surge of excitement washing over you. There's a silent understanding that passes between you, a shared recognition of the journey you will embark upon together. In that fleeting moment, as your gazes meet, you know with a certainty that transcends words— you'll be signing that contract.
With a triumphant smile, you raise the championship trophy high above your head, the weight of your accomplishment buoyed by the unwavering support of your team and your unyielding belief in yourself.
And in the middle of the bustling paddock, a blue bird chirped happily, swooping towards the girl as she lifted the trophy high. It appeared as though he'd be sticking around a while longer.
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taglist (tell me if you want to be added or removed <3 | italic means i couldn't tag you) :: @formulanni @clownrrari @leilanixx @notyouraveragemochii @alliwantisadonut @oooom4rie @watermelon-sugars-things @glitterquadricorn @minkyungseokie @formulaal @itsjustkhaos @thebearchives @hiireadstuff @laura-naruto-fan1998 @cptg00s3 @welovediaaxx @eugene-emt-roe @cha-hot
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astrxealis · 2 years
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i think it's interesting you can tell how people are like deep down by small things they do
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#like. if they use fonts#like 'aesthetic' fonts! it says they like pretty stuff sure but also that they don't know or don't care that#it isn't accessible for people with reading devices and stuff like that :') bcs those will read out literal math shit#it's a small thing but shows how ignorant some people are and i can't blame them at all bcs for a long time i used to use#aesthetic fonts like that. but for a while now i haven't as well and aurhrubedhej#but yeah perfectly understandable if they don't know but if they do it still even with the knowledge. i would definitely rather not#interact with someone like that. :')#i love to read people and all and tbh i probably know more about some people than they think bcs . yeah#it also shows how scary the internet is. please stay safe.#i have easily found some people's twitter accounts and it is so easy. i just do it out of curiosity and i don't have any malicious intent#at all but someone out there could and god if you overshare there is so much to learn so for the love of god be careful#but yeah! really interesting all of this ... how humans work :'O#the way we all have our different stuff that makes up who we are and how they're shaped by our experiences but also our dna#and how each book or passage or whatever we read leaves a marks on us. everything does#and how our brains differ and neuroscience and neuropsychology is. i don't know much abt it yet but god it is so interesting#- i am a very philosophical person interested in psychology and other related topics ever since i was a little kid - ><#it's interesting bcs . i really was like this ever since i was a kid and i would love to read more into Whyz#bcs i would look at rhe news as the kid and bad news made me so SAD. i still remember vividly sitting on the couch#and where the tv was and my parents. there was a girl who got... yeah#and it really opened my eyes to how fucking shit the world is. i was not even 10 years old by that time i think#and i think about that moment a lot even now whenever i rmbr it bcs it was. really important#in how i'm now hugely concerned about those kinds of things and really want to make the world a better place#honestly it annoys me when others don't care about the world but at least i'm happy with who i am! ><#it's interesting tho fr how i was. probably 'meant' to be like this in a way#and other kids out there just don't give a fuck and... i wonder why. what's different about us. in how we were made and shaped and raised?#ff/x being one of my memorable games in my childhood really shaped me and my outlook of religion and helped me be more open about my views#on family. kh being a really memorable thing abt my childhood despite me never properly playing past the island#but i still remember how i would always pick up that game again and again and years later when i got kh/3 despite not having played any#other games properly. i knew that this was my childhood. and playing thru that game was so amazing despite me literally
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