#pretty sure thats not womanhood

[imperiuswrecked]

Me checking in on what’s going on in Namor fandom since the mcu fans arrived:

[t0ast-ghost]

S3 EP24 (The Turnabout Intruder) I can’t believe I’m here. At the end. This is the last thought post.

Let’s go already:

- Awww they’re beaming down together

- Leaving Kirk alone with a woman…

- An episode directly calling out sexism? More likely than you think?

- “We would have killed each other.” “Might have been better.” Hot

- Is this set on Friday cause that’s pretty freaky

- I’ll miss you Star Trek opening (I’m going to rewatch this show idk what I’m talking about)

- Obsessed with Kirk talking that way omg

- Something about transitioning or whatever

- They should know it’s not actually Kirk cause he didn’t do his dramatic ass communicator flip

- The actress doing a great job at playing Kirk (just body language at this point but it’s already spot on)

- Kirk’s ass uhmmm

- Woah Bones is going to riot! There’s so much medical malpractice happening here

- Nurse Chapel with brown hair <3

- Lester is fucking up so bad impersonating Kirk. Like she didn’t even cross her leg over the other when she sat in the captains chair and she isn’t properly listening to Spock’s infodump :(

- Bones gets to have his riot. Wait. How does Lester know to call him Bones?

- Bones why would you lean over Kirk like that

- Kirk storming out of his own damn room

- Kirk’s ass analyzing something or other or what-

- She is so good at playing Kirk

- Guys. Listen. She is my queen. I love her. I adore her. And more than that I think she’s the coolest motherfucker alive.

- If I was Kirk I’d have slapped Coleman. No hesitation.

- Kirk’s gotta get in contact with one of his boyfriends

- Kirk is so good at putting on his charm. Like he’s so quick to panic about the ship but the charm is quickly regained

- *smashes the glass and cuts through restraints* bad fucking ass

- The boyfriends are ✨worried✨

- McCoy and Spock look so pretty

- Bones is going to kill Kirk. His blue eyes are murderous

- Spock using his ‘I’m that bitch’ privileges to get past security

- “Don’t get dressed yet.” McCoy out of context 1969

- SHE DID THE PERFECT KIRK SMILE

- A CALL BACK TO A PREVIOUS EPISODE?!? Tholian web mention?!? Woah.

- THATS GAY HOLY SHIT THATS GAY

- “Doctor McCoy may be of help.” Yeah go get your other boyfriend!

- The guard stopping them from exiting and then Spock looks over at Kirk like, ‘the audacity of this bitch. Should I just nerve pinch him, captain?’

- LMAO HE DOES NERVE PINCH HIM AND FAILS THE FIRST TIME WHAT A LOSER

- eugh Lester shaking Bones’ hand is so unnaturally uncomfortable

- Can’t bring Kirk to Bones, bring Bones to Kirk

- WAIT NO SPOCK AND KIRK ARE CANONICALLY HOLDING HANDS OMG

- McCoy’s eyeing Spock like what the fuck is happening to our boyfriend

- “Why…? Captain.” The spite Spock has

- McCoy hates being used against Spock like this

- How can William Shatner make those clicking noises with his mouth so casually

- “But her intense hatred of her own womanhood made life with her impossible.” This is like lady Macbeth

- Spock getting mad oooooooh

- Ohhh my god it’s so fundamentally sexist how Kirk is now ‘more emotional’ which could be a character choice but it feels so over the top and more like a ‘she’s a woman so this is how she acts’ choice

- Lester hates being a woman so much because of prejudices and stereotypes that she now perpetuates those same things onto others

- I love how many episodes have mutiny

- THEY GOT CAUGHT IMMEDIATELY LMAO

- “The penalty: death.” WHAT

- SULU AND CHEKOV CONVERSATION! They’re amazing

- Spock was just like, ‘we gotta be ready to slap a bitch’

- “Kill him!!!” no murder tonight for you Lester

And that’s just how they end the whole fucking show huh

I’m not sure if I’ll ever do something like this again for a show but this was a blast and I enjoyed every second of it. Thank you so much to everyone who has followed along. Every comment, reblog, and like has been appreciated.

However, I will be posting some bonus thoughts so keep a lookout for those :)

And as always Masterpost

Teleplay by Arthur H. Singer

Story by Gene Roddenberry

[fatmaclover]

do you think mac and charlie have ever been sat together getting high looking at the stars or just chilling together or whatever. do you think mac always wants to talk about his queer identity. hes always so desperate to be seen, to be heard, to be understood in his own way.

i think charlie would be hesitant. every time mac wants to talk about how he feels in relation to his identity, charlies always shutting it down. "no, dude, dont press that gay shit on me"

but like. mac wears charlie down eventually. keeps insisting on wanting to speak about it, to use charlie as a wall to bounce feelings and thoughts off of. to find the correct words or mediums or images to understand himself better. to have his friends, his family, those he loves, to understand him better.

not to mention his best friend.

so charlie relents. "fine, fine, whatever. lets just get it over with"

and its a long talk. charlie listens for hours as mac explains his struggles with being a man, his self image, his relationship towards women, womanhood, femininity, masculinity, how confusing it all is. how weird it is to figure out what balance he is of what, how he relates to it all. how its such a struggle to just.... find his place.

and charlies really listening here- and theres some really potent stuff. like, yeah, all this stuff is confusing. whys mac bringing it up like its not supposed to be? is it not supposed to be confusing? are you not supposed to feel utterly baffled when youve been pushed to just sit down and think about why youre attracted to what. why you feel certain ways about certain things. why youre comforted by what youre comforted by. why youre made uncomfortable by so much normal stuff.

"isnt... everyone confused by stuff like that?" charlie asks, taking another huff of whatever near-lethal substance the two had gotten their hands on.

"are you?" mac returns.

"well- of course i am. its all so weird."

and theres a long pause between them. they both take a moment to get a couple more huffs in, and mac finally breaks the silence.

"i was always under the impression that people who werent gay never really thought about it."

"well- im not gay, and ive thought about it." of course charlies defensive. this is really vulnerable and sensitive stuff.

"well- sure. you might not be gay, but- i mean- the crossdressing thing man. cmon."

"thats not weird!" charlies hackles are immediately raised. "ive told you- i- i had a single mother, and-"

mac grabs charlies shoulders, looking into the brown eyes in front of him.

"im not saying its weird. i dont think its weird, charlie."

its another long moment of silence. charlie doesnt know how to respond, the world felt like it was crumbling a little.

too high for this.

"i- i guess-" macs voice was like a knife, the way it cut through the nightly city noise. "i just want you to know, that i think its okay, if its complicated for you, too. and that im not gonna be stupid and shame you for it being complicated."

another beat of silence, only broken by a car alarm going off in the far distance.

"i-... yeah. okay man, sure." charlie responds, simply relaxing into macs hold.

its a pretty quiet night, from then on, but it isnt like much needs to be said.

charlie can at least feel a little bit safer in her best friends arms.

[idiotsonlyevent]

One day I'm going to write a fic about half foots and gender on the premise that chilchuck and his wife actually tried very hard to raise their daughters separate from the worst of half foot gender roles while still falling victim to those gender roles themselves, leading to the eventual collapse of their relationship wherein chilchuck is Emotionally Repressed but also due to being the family breadwinner has a fairly full life, which starts especially conflicting with chilwife once the kids are moved out because her life is now notably emptier and she's not really sure how to fill that space. But instead of directly stating this it ends up being articulated as like... extra fussing and worrying about chilchuck (because gender is a bitch and Proper Womanhood is frankly just a different mode of emotional repression), which he brushes off because like, he's fine? Both in the repressed way but also like. Genuinely he's doing pretty alright.

Which is why she leaves after meeting his coworkers. It's like that last straw of "my husband is out here having a Life and I have what? A house thats empty most of the time?" And from her perspective he's rebuffed her attempts to reach out, and she's played this role of wife and mother for so long now she doesn't actually know how to exist and communicate outside of it so she just... leaves.

Anyways. Sorry this is long I have a lot of thoughts on that gender flipped chilchuck image and the implications it has on gender roles for half foots. And also on the narrative framing of chilchuck admitting he doesn't know Why his wife left, implying that its the truth. And also that meijack is, as far as I have seen, the only female half foot not seen wearing a dress. And how we never see a female half foot in the dungeon.

(God fuck I'm still not done, I've gotta be clear that when I say chilchuck and his wife tried to raise the girls outside gender roles, that's not even in some like... chilchuck feminist moment way. It's in a "I think its narratively tasty if chilchuck and his older brother become the household breadwinners after their dad dies, and for chilchuck to not have thoughts about this until he has three daughters and suddenly he's realizing he doesn't want them to be dependent on their husbands or sons or uncles when he dies" kind of way)

YOU!!!!!!!!! YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!!!!!!! this ask...

"[chilchuck's] fine? Both in the repressed way but also like. Genuinely he's doing pretty alright." THISSSSS!!! this is exactly why i've started/scaffolded multiple chilfics, but havent gotten around to actually writing/finishing them; because i think he has so many hangups abt how he's been infantilized and dehumanized and used.... and his wife left him without SAYING ANYTHING and WE KNOW he's torn up as Fuck about it!!!!! there's a very real chance he feels really isolated and lonely, especially because he feels like he can't talk about it, and i dont even think he realizes!

like, i wouldn't be surprised if part of why he hates being 'treated like a kid' is because he doesn't want people 'taking care of him' - maybe because its 'his job' as the 'head of household ('oldest' in the party, in a sense); maybe because his wife used to take care of him and she left him so was it too much? was he too much work? maybe he feels like he doesn't deserve it? i wouldn't be surprised if he drinks not just to loosen up, but because it makes it easier to 'not think about it.'

like i don't think he's 'actually ok' but it's pretty well-concealed under a veneer of competence and stability that i... have no idea how to write that? like, yeah there's the drinking and the pushing people away. but also i think he's the type to drop some shit like 'i don't believe in romance because i'm unlovable' out of nowhere after being provoked/pissed off, and everyone's like '!?!;??!! HUH?!' like it's infiltrated his thinking in ways that he thinks is normal.... he doesn't even realize that his one massive blind spot is himself!

sorry THIS got long 😭 you 🤝 me > forever thinking about how passively important(?) gender is in dungeon meshi.... how, even though its unstated, different cultural expectations and associations w gender and genedered traits affect all of the characters in different ways.... getting a phd in dunmeshi-verse gender studies, brb 🫡

[quillkiller]

what do you think about ludora (lucius x pandora)?

i haven’t really considered them, sorry!! i’ve seen a few of saints posts where they’ve been tagging them and i’m intrigued!! but i don’t know any lore about them other than that, so i dont really have thoughts:/

however. i am very big on lurthur (lucius/arthur) which is genuinely the only thing that’s been on my mind for days now. so let me take this opportunity to talk about my (and @sugarsnappeases ) lucius <3

my lucius is transfemme but doesn’t ever come out. she does present as sort of androgynous, but in a way that she gets away with it. she’s tall and well respected, but she has her long hair and she’s sooooo pretty. she yearns for everything bellatrix despises. they’re absolut polar opposites to me. lucius wants to be a fragile woman, someones wife, more than anything. she’s a coward bad at being a father and worse at being a husband and she’s just bad at being a man. she yearns for womanhood. to me. but will never live as one.

except for! with arthur. they’re secretely dating at hogwarts. arthur was a mix of bill and charlie back at school. he was a soft punk leftist stoner type guy. and they’re just drawn to each other and start having this secret affair behind closed doors. arthur wears his leather jacket and tells lucius that she’s so pretty. such a pretty thing. braids her hair and touches her gently. like lucius has always longed for. however! they dont communicate. lucius never actually tells arthur her deepest desires about being a woman. never tells arthur how badly she wants to be his wife. arthur treats her like this because he knows her better than anyone, but lucius never lets him all the way in. so arthur knows lucius wants to be treated gently, wants to be called pretty, wants to bat her eyelashes at him and wear pretty things. and thats enough for lucius. its as good as its going to get. they’re always doomed because lucius has to marry a woman and produce an heir. its her only duty.

they break up eventually and both of them get married. athur marries molly, which is ALSO lucius’ opposite. everything she’ll never be. she’s funny, happy go lucky, charming, pleasant— and a woman. lucius is tall, bony, lanky, unpleasant, a downright cunt— and not (percieved as) a woman. she hates molly with a passion. she’s resentful and jealous and downright nasty whenever molly visits arthur at work. because arthur and lucius both work at the ministry <3

lucius marries narcissa. narcissa who’s so similar to lucius. according to me and @sugarsnappeases. they’re both quiet, prefers being in the background, scared, timid. lucius is essentially marrying the woman he so desperately wants to be. which is so interesting in contrast to narcissas own self hatred about her position. like yeah there’s probably a small pool of pureblood witches she’s allowed to choose from, but she’s still percieved as a man and has the choice. and she picks narcissa because it’s the version of herself that’s allowed to be a woman. it’s an okay marriage at first. they sort of understand each other. but it turns more and more sour the older lucius gets, the more she pushes down her own womanhood. she resents narcissa just for being allowed to be her wife.

the affair with arthur continues because neither of them can stop. it continues for years! years!!!! and they’re still not really communicating. lucius has this entire one sided version of their affair where she’s arthurs mistress. she makes sure they’re always messing around in arthurs office because lucius wants to feel like the wife/mistress coming to seduce their husband at work. but she never actually outright tells arthur all of thus. again, arthur knows her better than anyone and makes lucius feel like herself in ways no ever has, but never completely. never fully. arthur doesn’t know about how lucius yearns to be his wife. his girl. he asks arthus to tell her she’s prettier than molly. and arthur does. always. lucius asks him to tell her shes prettier than narcissa. and arthur does. tells lucius she’s the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. lucius will dress up for arthur, wear womens underwear, silk anything, do her hair and arthur will treat her gently and worship her

so like. lucius never gets to live as a woman but she gets (almost) everything she wants from this affair with arthur. because she has her own idea about what this affair is. in her head she really is arthurs good girl. she’s made it out in her head where she’s the woman of arthurs dream. AND SHE IS !!!!!! AND ARTHUR WOULD SAY SO !!!! IF THEY TALKED !!!!! BUT THEY DONT !!!!!!!

molly gets pregnant. its fine. arthur has lucy on his lap in some weird wizard motel and tells her it doesnt matter. i’ll never leave you. i cant leave you. i’ll be here. you’re my pretty star. i’m your man. it doesn’t have to change anything.

bill is born. it changes everything. arthur falls in love at firt sight. having a kid changed arthur wholeheartedly. he looks into that baby’s eyes and he decides there and then he’ll clean up his act. hes going to be a good husband and a good role model.

arthur loves his kids more than he loves lucy, but he loves lucy more than he loves molly. he spends his days with his kids (HIS MILLION KIDS) and its enough. it fills his heart and there’s no lucy shaped void. then he goes to bed with molly and that’s when lucy comes running back into his mind again.

so they break ut off. for real this time. and arthur doesn’t come back. he wont let himself. and lucius just. goes off the fucking deep end after this.

she finally produces an heir and hopes maybe she’ll understand. she’ll see her kid and feel what arthur feels. but draco is born and lucy doesn’t feel anything. but narcissa connects with draco immediately. and lucy hates her for it. hates her for her maternal instincts and is so jealous and resentful. arthur is gone and even tho arthur never knew the full truth, it was the closest thing lucy had. the closest thing she had to feeling like a woman (which. unhealthy. and isnt fair on arthur obviously. this is not a wholesome love story). now she’s fully and completely trapped being a well respected pureblood husband, statis, a father, there’s a war at the horizon. etc etc etc .

arthur and lucy almost relapse once. years and years later. after the first war. maybe even after ginny is born. lucy is in arthurs office. and theyve just been talking. and its getting intimate. and arthur knows its dangerous territory. and hes been avoiding this. but he just cant this time. and eventually they’re so close. their lips are only inches apart. and lucy says ’i’d leave it all for you, if you asked.” and that’s. ruins everything. arthur snaps out of it immediately.

BECAUSE WHAT LUCY MEANS IS I WANT TO BE YOUR WIFE. I WANT A SECOND CHANCE AND I WANT IT WITH YOU. BUT WHAT ARTHUS HEARS IS I WOULD LEAVE MY FAMILY WITHOUT THINKING TWICE. I’D ABANDON MY CHILD. AND THATS THE THING. THEY HAVENT EVER COMMUNICATED. ARTHUR DOESNT KNOW WHAT LUCIUS THINKS SHES OBVIOUSLY TELLING HIM. all arthur hears is that lucy would abandon her son. and arthur changed when he had children. and what lucy means is i did it all wrong and i regret it and i want to be your wife.

kara had this really interesting point about lucius and narcissa being very similar in that way of not communiacting. and in being hopeless (irrational) romantics. like. lucius thinks that arthur should just know. lucy is convinced that arthur is the love of her life. that they were made for each other. and arthur should just be able to know. be able to read between te lines. lucy thought she was being romantic when she said she’d leave everything behind for arthur. BUT THATS NOT WHAT ARTHUR HEARS .

anyway. yeah. lucius gets to feel like a woman twice in her life and it’s with arthur and bellatrix. you can read about her relationship with bellatrix here and here. which to me takes place during the first war, post arthur breaking it off with lucius. it’s unbelievably unhealthy and self destructive and not dynamics i endorse! but dynamics i find interesring nonetheless <3 also tw for pseudo incest i guss because lucy begs bella to tell her she’s prettier/better than narcissa and bella does <3 because she’s also fucked up !

[steampunkforever]

Postmodernity is dead. Long live whatever is going on right now. It'll be dead before we can figure out what to call it.

I'm a few years removed from an academic context where I'm sure I could be properly corrected on this, but I've been lumping a lot of current post-postmodern of a certain flavor under the title of Vermeulen/van der Akker's definition of "Metamodernity" as the traditional postmodernity of the mid to late 20th century gives way to whatever we're experiencing today. Thats right, despite the harangues of cable newscasters, Postmodernity has been over for decades. Literary and artistic movements are rarely named while they live and breathe (unless they're some astroturfed "[PREFIX]-Punk" genre driven by posers) and so to try and name what's happening today is futile. But for simplicity's sake lets file this one under "Metamodern" so I can actually write this filmpost on the surrealist film "Greener Grass."

The last couple times I've mentioned the concept of metamodernity has been with Quentin Dupieux's surrealist film "Rubber" and-- on the absolute other side of the spectrum --Greta Gerwig's "Barbie." Greener Grass is like if the movies swapped directors, with the mind behind Mr. Oizo taking a crack at what dealing with life and womanhood in a pink-saturated nightmare is really like.

Anyone who grew up in an affluent suburb with a William Sonoma store in their local mall will likely resonate with this film. I think we all remember those , whip thin mothers of classmates who drove Escalades and wore outfits too intentional to not be expensive. Their kitchens were massive and uncooked in. The exercise classes they attended were always feminine, nonthreatening, and adhered to with iron wills usually reserved for Olympic training. One must be pretty like you were in college sorority but a homemaker like his mother in the 70s but "with it" in ways that don't conflict with the new Land Rover financed in your McMansion driveway. The performance of gender and class and perceived societal value is incredible, and that's exactly what Greener Grass is about.

The film talks about something much more complicated than "Barbie Goes To The Gynecologist." It's a film about performance, social hierarchies, and the injustice of artificiality thrust upon us by the manufactured standards of innocuous but deeply "wrong" systems. And it does so by creating a surreal world of skinjob characters pretending that everything is perfect, ignoring the graves their children play over as they conduct monstrous business with a smile and polite posturing. Everything is pink. Everything is perfect. Your son drowning himself and turning into a golden retriever is perfectly normal, even if he does flunk math class. It is dreadfully important you continue to be a good mother.

The fact that Covid killed this movie is a travesty. Go watch it.

[heterophobicdyke]

idk where u got that radfems don't think straight women who throw other women under the bus aren't class traitors. I'm pretty sure radfems either think all women who throw women under the bus for male approval are class traitors or that all women including trans identified ones are helpless victims. and it's weird you're singling out the feminine straight women throwing women under the bus for male approval when trans identified women do that more often than any other woman and THATS why they get so much hate. if they didn't bootlick the worst, most misogynistic and homophobic men solely because they agree with their gender identity politics no radfem would be against them

radical feminism does not theorise that gender-conforming straight women are class traitors for getting botox, dieting, tanning, beating their face with makeup, getting fake nails so long they can't pick up things properly, etc. they're classed as victims who just couldn't help it because it's what's expected by patriarchy. funny thing is though trans-idenfied females were ostracised from womanhood by these women in the first place - it's the bullies at school, it's the feminine straight mother at home, it's the... list goes on.

you can act like trans-identified females and gender-conforming females are perceived the same by radical feminists but you'd be lying to win an argument.

the reason why you find it "weird" that i'm "singling out" gender conforming straight women who betray women for male approval is because you're used to trans-identified females being singled out instead. and any time a lesbian mentions the homophobia among OSA women (as this trans-identified vs. gender-conforming is a homophobia issue at its core) you all gotta act like we are big brutes committing some act of violence against lil fawns. "singling out" is a weird way of putting what i'm actually doing - being a lesbian and outlining how we're treated by straight feminine women for male approval.

[rollercoasterwords]

i agree about gretta gerwigs work, i feel like there are some pieces of femininity and what its like to grow up as a girl that she nails every time, like at least for me personally her portrayals of grieving past versions of yourself and your life always resonate (but maybe thats because thats a pretty universal experience? im not sure), and her interfamilial relationships feel very tangible to me,

but yeah when it comes to her resolutions and her looking forward moments i feel like i dont really follow where her brain goes, it sometimes feels like she just ends up back where she started. and she doesnt play with gender and sexuality much, which is a shame because i feel like she could do it well?? idk maybe its fear, maybe shes cis and straight and those themes just dont resonate with her idk.

i also feel like shes almost choses stories where she wouldnt be forced to confront those topics? like little women has always had the same conclusion, she certainly did add her own artistry to the story but its not like she would have been expected to explore queer experiences there. and the same is true for barbie, barbie isnt exactly known for being a space that plays much with gender, and i highly doubt mattel would have approved a story that included too much queerness bc theyre trying to tell toys to conservative moms right? idk sorry this got long, your comments on gerwig just got me thinking

yeahhhhh exactly like. i am not a huge gerwig fan (not that i dislike her or anything; i'm just pretty neutral towards her as a director) + i only watched ladybird back when it first came out + barbie now. have never seen little women but based on what i know of the book yeah i imagine it's not like a movie where you'd expect lesbians lol nor was i expecting any particularly insightful exploration of queerness from barbie (although i do think it's nice that many people have been able to find meaningful aroace readings of the film)--and like i don't think it's gerwig's responsibility to explore such themes if they are not things she relates to or has an interest in exploring!

i feel like this is moreso just a problem with reception when any certain artist or work of art gets venerated as like....the pinnacle of representation for 'womanhood' or 'girlhood,' which is a category much of gerwig's critical reception seems to fall into. bc there is no single monolithic experience of 'womanhood,' the cultural consensus about what representations set the standard for such experiences always tend to privilege certain experiences (white, straight, cis, etc), oftentimes at the expense of erasing others. and this has been a particular aspect of some of the barbie praise that's grated on me; i've seen a lot of people talk about how it so perfectly encapsulates 'the female experience' and as a gnc lesbian i'm just like. alright then lol. think the treatment of queerness by the film as a whole was also just like....odd. generally speaking. honestly still parsing thru my thoughts on it but sometimes the framing of the movie made it a little difficult to tell whether i was being laughed at or laughed with tbh

[genderfluid-bat]

Batfam gender HC

I have only watched like various animated batfam related stories. this is simply osmosis before i try reading the comics.

Bruce Wayne/Batman- Demi man. personally from what I understand is that the various traumas made it hard to connect to "Normal" manhood so its a disconnect thing. Jason told him about it.

Kate Kane/ Batwoman-Genderqueer. Ok so its more like I think she saw butch lesbians and Femme lesbians and was like this shit rocks. And it just queered her gender. Also again trauma and the disconnect from "Normal" womanhood. Again Jason.

Dick Grayson/ Nightwing- Trans fem/ G♡rl. Dick realized because Jason was telling him about trans history. I think a xenogender would work for him as well but thats later and duke was the one who introduce her to them.

Jason Todd/Red Hood- Bigender/gender queer/Libragender. I think he just hung around many queer people when he was younger and then he died and as an adult he stills hangs around. He figuered genderqueer young but bigender and libragender was after his death.

Tim Drake- Agender/agender girl. Duke old him about Agender and Tim just went that fits and just never thought about it again. Steph told him about agender girl and he did the same thing.

Stephanie Brown/Spoiler- Genderfaunet/Nonbinary. I'm like 90% sure she was going thru various gender wikis found this and proceed to have a crisis. She told Cass first and then Jason. They took her to a trans support group.

Cassandra Cain/Black Bat- Trans masc. Just has all the masc genders. I think she found it out because of Bruce. I think he was trying to do a pride thing for Wayne enterprises and was hearing from the union and Cass was there and came out at the same time.

Duke Thomas- Boyflux/Sungender/Autigender. Pretty sure he learned this while trying to not die by the riddler. His parents dint get it much but they supported. Although hes well aware they had no idea what they were doing. He still appreciates how they tried.

Damian Wayne/Robin-Genderfluid/genderhorder. He remembers the first time he said something not cis and how Talia told him he could be anything. She was the first person she told about her being genderfluid. Damian told Dick 2nd. Damian told everyone eventually. Their first pride they attended was one full of love.

@supermansbisexualson @loveless-angel

[chanchanchanko]

barbie thoughts!

my friend said this in the best way: barbie is for anyone who has a complicated relationship with girlhood. its restorative

and that rings so true for me -- the movie honored girlhood and play! greta gerwig said lets play dolls and then i went into the theater and i did!! it took this very specific and intimate form of storytelling (playing dolls) and treated it with the utmost care and importance.

there were so many fun little tropes of doll play, like the car to the boat to the rocket to the tandem bike and then in reverse. its something i did a lot as a kid. the sudden creation of stakes that dont actually make a lot of sense plotwise, but make a lot of sense emotionally (im thinking of when they were like omg we have to change the constitution lol)

thats why i think the ostentatious dialogue works -- its not trying to show you a human story through realism, its trying to play out a human story with dolls. its also why america's speech worked so well for me even if it was feminism 101 -- for me as a little kid, i often would speak through my toys with unmediated speeches to express how I felt. womanhood (and those adjacent to womenhood in some way) is so unfair. and the idea of wanting fairness sometimes feels so childish. so its cathartic to hear it in plain terms. even if it's obvious, or you've heard it before, that doesnt change how frustrating it is to have these conflicting standards. even i, nonbinary and versed in a good deal of gender theory, still engage and feel constrained by the limits of womanhood. I still feign ignorance or smile to obfuscate any power I have in male spaces. and just because im aware of it doesnt make it go away

i hated barbie growing up. she didnt look like me or want the same things i wanted. but at the same time, she got to be a vehicle for stories that i wanted to tell and a vehicle for the things i thought were fun: sleepovers every night! forever! it was a really pure expression of joy. and barbie, very importantly, wasnt a baby doll that I had to take care of (which i already did enough of for my younger siblings and family)

as i see it, dolls are so sexualized all the time. they are objects onto which you can place desire. they are innocent and perfect and pliable. they are idealized, plastic, cold, unfeeling. you can fuck them or keep them behind glass. you can ogle their bodies freely and for your pleasure. but the barbie movie treated the idea of dolls and play so preciously. it said, you used to play like this, right? this was really important to you.

I feel like what I see of girlhood portrayed is usually an observation or analysis at best. at worst it is a joke or a backdrop for violence. by showing us a movie that operates under the assumption that we are playing dolls, the barbie movie invites us in to girlhood as we are. i missed it so much and i didnt even know it was something i missed.

i have a difficult relationship with girlhood -- strong feelings of not belonging or relating and having crushing expectations placed on me for reasons out of my control and the shame i felt so acutely (which i think is pretty normal fwiw). this movie saw that, honored it, and engaged in the same play we were ridiculed for. and said you can be anything. that's the joy of it. you can take this doll and go farther. there's no wrong way to play. create any world you want.

im not a woman anymore and im not sure if i ever was. but i did experience girlhood and felt shame for it. and the barbie movie help my hand and said it's ok. you're not doing any of it wrong.

[mikarchive2]

what i read in january 2023 📚

[ fanfare ] hello ! this year i want start making monthly recaps of what i read . including little reviews and perhaps reading plans for the following month . im mostly doing this for myself but if any of you want to talk to me about these books / give me recommendations / tell me what you read id be more than delighted ! kiss + lets go

( tagging @chateauofmymind ​and @andromerot here because theyve both recently tagged me in a book tag game ... consider this my contribution 💋)

1. deerskin by robin mckinley - ★★★★★ - i had high expectations for this one because i found it thanks to kaaju leopardheart and i trust her taste but it still somehow exceeded those expectations ... i feel like it broke me into little pieces and then put me back into a creature more whole than i was before . its definitely necessary to be aware of the trigger warnings here but the darkness in this book is worth going through and im saying that as someone who mostly prefers to avoid content thats too heavy . also i think the protagonist might be one of the most well-written female characters ive ever encountered

2. the descent of alette by alice notley - ★★★★ - killing the cop in your head, an epic poem . or something . the whole book is essentially a dream sequence and reading it before going to sleep made me remember my dreams which is honestly one of my favourite things about it . alette occassionally descends to biological determinism but i was okay with it considering how mythological and abstract the narrative is it didnt feel completely out of place . fun, mostly because it gave me Oneiric Visions

3. when women were birds by terry tempest williams - ★★★ - im pretty sure this was on my list because ross gay mentioned it in the book of delights ( not that he said anything else about it, mind you, he just mentioned it and i wrote it down . book rec acquired ! im silly like that ) . the process of reading this was surprisingly pleasant but every time i try to think about it more deeply i find more and more problems with it . the author is obviously very educated, she often quotes other people and i enjoyed those random bits of knowledge and also the descriptions of birds and nature but . some of the takes on womanhood did not resonate at all + sometimes it just got so pretentious . i think i enjoyed the style quite a lot though, even if i was a bit disappointed by the content

up next: well i am already almost done with a short story collection by thomas ligotti ... im not sure what goals to set here since february is such a short month, but right now my plans include the raven and the reindeer by t. kingfisher, the world keeps ending and the world goes on by franny choi and possibly something by jeanette winterson . purposefully delaying the ending of the sandman until march as i am a huge fan of symbolic gestures but i do want to finish the 8th volume this month too, that one should have a suitably liminal vibe

[pandavalkyrie]

no i agree with all that, i just think that the film ending without any meaningful change is in support of its whole position: barbie didnt solve patriarchy in the real world, and she was a symbol of womanhood to a certain generation. (the movie i think does a good job showing how shes a failure as a symbol of womanhood, bc thats not a closed or fixed or monolithic thing)

there were lots of things in the movie that made me uncomfortable, but theyre also things that make me uncomfortable about barbie (and) irl, so i was probably supposed to be uncomfortable. i heard a lot of couples broke up after seeing the movie, thats pretty powerful to me lol

the thing im really frustrated about is that were only allowed to have shared cultural experiences over worship of products and brands, but its not really the movies fault that its about barbie; it doesnt exist if not.

I also just like hate having this convo over text because I'm pretty sure we're like 99.9 if not 100% in agreement. My reading comprehension is in the toilet today over real life stress/anxiety stuff.

[glorified-red]

another episode of Red talks sex Ed ™️

do you think virginity is a social construct?because if the (female)Hymen breaks when having penetrative sex so it’s a biological construct , but you can break your hymen literally riding a bicycle

then there’s many different types of sex (penetrative,oral,etc)

*pulls out whiteboard and uncaps expo marker*

Obvious CW to discuss the topic above.

Virginity is absolutely a social construct, if not one of the most social of social constructs to exist.

But what is it? In olden times, it was depicted as something only a man could take from a woman. So when it existed in Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome, it was something empowering like a devotion to a goddess or to womanhood (cuz technically, same-sex sex doesn't count. This is incredibly funny when talking about marriage in Ancient Greece, bromance was sooooo normalized. That's why Achilles x Patroclus was so normal, it happened all the time. Married men/women fucked married men/women because it just didn't count. iconic truly).

But when early christianity came in, they specified that virginity was "a gift from God" and it must be perserved until marriage when the man could recieve the gift himself. Yucky? I know.

So as christianity shifted, so did the definition. Now its typically something that resembles purity and "seeking a higher spiritual calling." It's seen as a choice to align with God, and again, remain a virgin until marriage and letting the man take it. It can be liberating for a lot of religious members because they feel closer to their God and thats beautiful.

It mostly focuses on woman, there's more pressure put on relgious girls to remain "pure" but we rarely see it with the boys because of the Virgin Mary. There's even ceremonies where girls will devote their virginity to their father. If it works for some, thats wonderful, religion can be a beautiful thing, but you gotta recognize the consequences.

Because unfortunetly, some people think everyone should abide by those religious rites. That's when we start seeing purity culture rise up because so many people are shaming those who choose to have sex. It's annoying.

Because sex can be liberating, too. It can be about empowerment, self love, and connection. It's not disgusting and impure. In Ancient religions, sex was seen as a devotive act and there were plenty of offerings regarding sex (with & without virgins).

So to shame people who wish to have sex is immature to say the least. If its not harming anyone and all parties are consenting, why do you care??

So yes, virginty is an annoying social construct but early christianity (im prefacing early christianity because there is a difference) needed a way to track it so they could manipulate---control? uh, fear monger? Honestly all of the above---young impressionable girls. Thus came the hymen myth.

Essentially, your hymen can break from anything or literally nothing. Your hymen is pretty close to the vaginal opening (1 - 2cm) compared to the cervix (3 - 6in) so it can break really easily. Your underwear riding up a bit from a bad camal-toe can break that bad boy.

So tampons, biking, sitting on an uncomfy chair, simple pressure can break it. But alternatively, sometimes it just.... breaks on its own. Overtime it thins out and wears thin as you get older and get more active, so it's very likely it could break randomly and you don't even notice (especially considering periods).

Furthermore! Hymens may not even break the first time!! You can have penetrative sex and your hymen is still completely intact, and thats normal.

But again, they needed a way to track purity so they performed pelvic exams to make sure the hymen was fine. And since the hymen breaks randomly, it was the perfect way to emotionally torment unknowing followers, especially since little was known about the hymen at the time anyway.

Plus, there's sooooo many different ways to have sex and most of those ways don't involve penetration at all (don't even get me started on the term "penetrative sex" I will get HEATED).

So when it comes to virginity, I am the first person to say that you get to make your own definition and you get to decide when you lost your virginity (cuz most times, your first time isn't completely consensual, and you shouldn't have to count that as your first if you don't want to).

My definition? Consensually letting someone try or succeed to bring you to climax by any means. Toys? Sure. Hands? Absolutely. Mouth? Go for it. Insertion? Classic. Whatever you want bestie.

The definition of sex is usually "touching sexual organs" but if thats the case, I would've lost and taken virginity with so many different people because boobs are fun, my guy. So I like to specify that to lose the V-Card, there should be the intention to climax. I say "intention" because sometimes you just don't get there, it happens.

This brings in the nuance of bringing yourself to climax. I don't personally count that but some people could if they wanted to, and there'd be nothing wrong with that. Them losing their V-Card to themselves is empowering and I support it, it's just not for me.

This also brings in the nuance of "sex" not always needing to lead to climax, sometimes its just for intimacy and closeness. I don't count that as losing your V-Card personally because i like to seperate intimate touch from touch with the intention of climax. Intimate touch and exploring bodies while they're naked doesn't need to be sex.

It can just be fun and a bonding experience with your significant other. But when the intention comes in, that's when theres a shift (for me) between touch and sex. Now exploration can lead into sex, sex can have exploration, etc etc etc. But when discussing the V-Card specifically, I like to make a hard line for my own reasons.

It also begs the question of bringing someone else to climax but them not doing it in return. Does that count as losing your V-Card? Maybe, depends on who you ask. For me? No. The other person would lose their card but you wouldn't. But again, that's just me.

See how in depth I can make my terms and conditions for losing my virginity? Anyone can do it, too. Losing your card (which agin, terrible phrasing, I hate it, I want to RIOT) shouldn't be something someone decides for you or society decides for you, you should be able to. If you really wanted to, you could just pretend your first time didn't happen.

Because who cares??? It's a social construct anyway, no ones gonna hound you for saying it didn't count for xyz reason. And if some smartass comes in with a "But actually---" I'll smack them for you. It's your body, it's your choice. If they didn't want us to have this much power over it, maybe they should've have made it such a social construct to begin with 😚

[nerves-nebula]

I have this theory about gender cause like up to puberty I didn't feel like a boy or a girl, same with my bro who identified as non-binary until puberty, the only difference between us is that past puberty my bro ended up identifying with their assigned at birth gender while I ended identifying as the opposite gender after puberty

Basically I don't think kids pre puberty are supposed to have a sense of their gender and it makes me wonder why it's not more common not raise your kids without their gender in mind cause idk when I was 6 I didn't think about womanhood and shit, I thought girls were pretty sure but that's just kid crush stuff

Idk my brain is mush i might be completely wrong

well i mean i know that a lot of kids DEFINITELY have a sense of gender from a young age (cause of like, studies and stuff i know thats vague but trust me)

but i am curious about those of us that didn't. thing is, if you asked me my gender as a child i would have said girl because that's what everyone told me to say and i didnt really care that much. so i imagine it'd be kind of hard to really Get In There and figure out how many kids ACTUALLY feel like their gender because I think a lot of us just kind of go with it until puberty.

I personally prefer the model of raising kids without gender up until they voice a preference because I know it would've given me the tools I needed to understand that I didnt really vibe with the idea of being A Girl or A Boy.

but that also leaves the door open for any binary-gendered people to identify themselves as soon as they feel like it.

idk gender is FAKE and also a FUCK and i dont even care. but also i do. whatever.

[littlx-songbxrd]

Heyyy how are you? 😊

So random thought, but I was watching a video of a sims youtuber talk about being autistic and it brought up some memories and thoughts that I thought you might want to use as a reference for your character Nairne (I think that's her name I'm hoping I remembered that right).

If not that's totally fine dw.

Ok so autistic inertia "is the notion that when autistic people need to stop doing a task it can be difficult to restart and once we have started working on a task or project it can be really difficult to stop." - Kella Gehlert

Basically for me it affected my school work a lot because switching tasks for different subjects or even within a class was really hard for me. It's like being weighed down and needing some time to get up, I need time to pull my brain away from whatever it's doing. I can't do it immediately. I also feel this a lot when I play video games and my moms like "ok you need to set the table now!" Like.... I need time to process that and wind down before I can stop and save! Also adults don't really get that video games take time to save and exit and you can't just stop immediately lol. But that's a different problem. It takes time for me to process transitions. Which us also why I need lots of time to get ready before I leave to go somewhere.

Slow processing speed. I struggle with this A LOT. Basically it's your brain processing things more slowly. I speak pretty slowly be cause it takes me longer to think of words, figure out how to pronounce them and then say them. It also takes me longer to react to things which made my dance teacher hate me. Also if you ask me for the salt it will take like two minutes for me to register that, process it and then move to get it for you. This is also affected by auditory processing disorder which I'm sure you know about.

But if you don't it's basically a delayed auditory response or not being able to hear things clearly if they're too fast. That's why I need to watch things with subtitles. That's also why most fast songs sound like asghsdbbscvb to me so I need to look up the lyrics. It's also a symptom of ADHD.

Interoception is the next one, which is the awareness of your body essentially and what's going on with it. Autistic people often have poor interoception. We often don't realize we're tired, or hungry or that we need to go to the bathroom until it's absolutely dire, or sometimes not at all. There are different levels of this based on the person. But me personally, I'm bad with eating and with sleeping. But my insomnia also stems from my nightmares. This leads to me forgetting to eat or just not eating because I'm not hungry.

Which leads me to my next point. Tw for Eating disorders mention.

EDs are super common amongst autistic ppl especially autistic girls and afabs. For multiple reasons. Sometimes for a need to control things and obsessively monitor something, sometimes it's because of sensory issues with the texture and taste of food. And then sometimes you're like me and between not really feeling hunger and suffering from executive dysfunction I struggle to eat. I've never been diagnosed with an ED but I have gone days without meals so that can't be great.

That's all I can think of for now! Please let me know if you want me to send me any more stuff if you need help. Also, I think you mentioned you use music to write like me and I know you may have already made a playlist for Nairne or at least for your WIP. But there is a playlist I made for Rory full of songs that give autistic womanhood/ woman aligned ish type vibes. If you want me to send u it I totally can.

Some of my favorites include, Nightmare by Halsey, Teen Idol by Mariana and the diamonds and Strange little girl by POSEY.

Hiiiiii. I'm doing ok! Been working on some worldbuilding for a project and im trying to start painting again. Which like am i good at painting? No but. Fhjfjf besides that good good what about you?

OMG DEFINETLY AND YES THATS HER NAME. Thought now that i see you write it I wonder how you pronounce it. Thats really random im sorry. But its interesting for smth i can tell you about later!

Ok I'll be commenting and writting my notes as i go!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS

1. That kind of reminds me of newtons law! Every object in motion remains in motion. So okok I think I can understand what youre saying. Again, object in motion stays in motion unless acted by unbalamces force. In this case you staying in the activity previous would be the motion and being pulled away would kind of be the unbalancing force! Can i describe it as that? Disruption from a task or processing transition needs its transitionary period on ots own.

2. I had actually researched some of this im internally doing a happy dance my research was right. But I will take the note on the speech thing! I always thought Nairne might be slower to express most her thoughts, but for how she feels I feel the best way to describe it. Its like she has a a whole river filled with thoughts and opinion but in order to comunicate she was given a spoon to scoop the water out.

3. you dont have to tell me twice about auditory processing disorder VDJDBBFDN. Most words come into my brain but I dont process them at all. Its made me almost flunk out a economics class cause i legit could not understans half the words my teacher spoke.

4. Ok I've read about the poor introspection thing!! I think i wrote a scene once where nairnes screwed up sleep schedule was explained kind of keeping this in mind. I think i lost it (victim to untitled documents) but

5. I think i get it. Idk if I can do this but sometimes i struggle to keep myself sat through meals and in my desperation to get up and get rid of my energy i just dont eat. Im not sure why that makes me understand this concept but yeah. I'll definetly keep it in mind

Also yep that is definetly not good. I wont say pls eat cause i know its a pain to control thinsg you cant but.

PLEASE SEND MORE I AM BEGGING YOU. ALSO CORRECT ME IF ANYTHING HERE IS WRONG IM SO GLAD YOU SENT THIS. I love knowing and you have a good way of explaining things. Would you mind if i tried writting some drabbles based on these and sent them?

Anyways pls send. Even if it wasnt for my wip its good to get more information on autism. Puerto Rico might be good for a lot of things, but I went my whole life till i found fandom spaces not understanding what autism was and I want to learn.

OH PLEASE SEND !!!!

[albertserra]

a lot of the work ive read thats by ppl who r transgending in ur general direction is engaging p directly with the concept of womanhood so might not be exactly what ur looking for? but torrey peters’ detransition, baby was a rly good novel that i enjoyed. i also recently read paul takes the form of a mortal girl which . cant remember who its by but i cant imagine theyre not some kind of trans? its about a slutty shapeshifter it was recommended to me by a nonbinary transfem friend of mine

i remember both of these books (especially paul) being pretty white so ymmv lol sorry i cant be more help

'transgending in my general direction' ahdsjakdhsjkdfhjgksdfhgjfkdghfdsjkghd

thank you ill add these to the list to look into! honestly, for this i dont *really* mind them coming from a white perspective (as long its not like corny about it. or racist obviously) bc while my experiences are obv very different from a full white person im kind of white passing (ethnically ambiguous maybe) so when it comes to being 'read' my being vietnamese specifcally is never really a part of it. now that im typing it im actually not sure how my race plays into this since my perceived race is something thats varied a lot in my experience. well. thats not something i have the mental capacity to parse rn