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#probably just wants to hook up
evansbby · 1 year
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guys should i go meet this guy?
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Oh i forgot to post this one. Ahhhh
Went down a rabbit hole reading The Final Indignity 
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whoblewboobear · 4 months
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Jace was totally a Hudol kid right?
He failed wizardry 101 three years in a row, he probably hooked up with your crush, ​he was voted most likely to be arrested on account of all the pranks he pulled around campus. He smokes cigarettes in the parking lot. He’s at the top of his sorcery classes and his name is on everyone’s lips, he’s Jace Stardiamond and if you don’t know him, then maybe you’re just not cool enough to.
By the time he’s a junior, everyone has an idea of who he is but when he’s alone with himself, he has a hard time deciding if he knows who he is. Every moment of his life he’s been told the whos, whats and whys and he feels trapped inside of the labels and high standards so he takes comfort in the unknown.
For once he finally feels in tune with his magic. He doesn’t need to know where it comes from when it comes to him as easy as breathing. He still has such a keen eye for it, though. He approaches sorcery with such a precision and resolve that leaves people in awe of him, the attention doesn’t hurt either.
He always admired that quality in the wizards surrounding him, there’s no reason he can’t borrow that kind of self discipline for himself if it leads to better self discovery.
Still, he can’t take the way his old wizardry textbooks mock him from where they live on his bookshelf. He finds a home for them far at the top of his closet and doesn’t look back.
-
Is2g the way he told Adaine he couldn’t take a level of wizard, “I tried.” And then him saying he always thought wizards were a bit stinky has haunted me since the finale aired. That man has a deep vendetta associated with wizardry, you just know it. That shit haunts him.
#ngl I feel like Jace’s mom was probably a high elf and wanted her kids to go to the most prestigious school in Elmville but his dad was a#human adventurer that just wanted his sons to be happy#they get divorced by the time Jace is 15 and he chooses to stay with his dad bc the thought of going to live in fallinel with his mom makes#him itch#fallinel reminds him of Hudol and he doesn’t /love/ Hudol#his brother does though and his brother is definitely the good boy pragmatist wizard of the family#Jace’s dad tells him if he doesn’t wanna go to Hudol anymore he can transfer to aguefort and he does it. he doesn’t even attempt to try#wizard classes and it’s way too late to find an adventuring party#that final year is kinda a blur but it was fun.#he spent most of his time at parties and hooking up with more people than he could count#also in my head Jace has a brother and then when he’s like starting college his mom remarries and has his sister with his stepdad that he#haaaates#he hates visiting fallinel but he wants to get to know his sister#his dad also dies on an adventure during his college years#he comes back to an empty house because his brother just couldn’t#it’s the first time he’s really left to be the responsible one and he’s not bad at it but he’s so out of depths#he sells the house and starts couch surfing until he sees that Aguefort is hiring for a sorcerer teacher so he takes it#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#d20 fhjy#fhjy#jace stardiamond
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feroluce · 5 months
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Lucid Dreamer (1/2)
part 2
Gepard notices that it's been. Quiet lately. Like weirdly quiet. TOO quiet. He hasn't seen Sampo Koski in almost a week, which is about the longest he's ever been absent. And he is NOT worried. He's not! So what if they've been getting along more lately! So what if Gepard sometimes looks for him in his favorite hiding places! So what if he's been dreaming about blue hair and green eyes! It's nothing!!
But they're….strange, these dreams. Gepard doesn't usually remember what he's dreamt. It's out of his mind seconds within waking up. But these stick with him, they won't leave him be, they feel different somehow.
He dreams of Sampo bringing food to the frontlines and eating breakfast in his tent with him. Sampo always sneaks him extras. He dreams of chasing Sampo through the alleyways, Sampo sometimes letting himself be caught, Gepard sometimes catching him, and trying to ignore how it feels more like a game now more than anything else. He even dreams that Sampo tags along with him on one of his few civilian days. Sampo runs errands with him, prattles about inane bullshit while Gepard picks out groceries for the week, drags Gepard into some bakery he's never been to but he thinks Serval mentioned once.
And sometimes, it feels so close to reality, that Gepard half expects to see Sampo, shamelessly swaggering into the frontlines with all the guards' breakfast like his wanted poster wasn't only recently taken off the walls of Belobog. He's disappointed when it's always someone else instead. He tells himself his disappointment is ridiculous and if Sampo wants to go prowl around the Snow Plains or wherever he is, then fine. It's not any of his business.
…But it IS his job to investigate any unusual criminal activity relating to the frontlines. And the frontlines are Sampo's usual haunting grounds, and this is unusual activity, and Sampo IS technically a criminal, so it is absolutely part of his duty to look into this - is what Gepard tells himself the entire tram ride down into the Underground.
Natasha tells him he's gone, and Gepard has to steel himself. He knew Sampo made enemies wherever he went, there are a lot of people who would love his head on a platter, but he didn't think-
Natasha corrects him that she means literally gone. As in off-planet. Sampo always leaves her a note before he goes anywhere, so she knows not to expect any supply runs from him. He should be back in exactly two weeks. Thank the Preservation.
Gepard goes back home. He waits.
The uneasiness doesn't leave him.
"Where did you go?" Sampo stops dead in the middle of some story about Seele, and how you'd think someone with as blunt a mouth as her wouldn't have so much trouble asking a woman out, even if that woman IS the Supreme Guardian, and stares at him. He nearly fumbles his cigarette.
"Ahaha, what do you mean, I'm right here?" Sampo smiles at him the same way he always does. Gepard has no idea why he asked. It just popped out. He can never tell when Sampo is lying, anyway.
"I don't know. I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time." Gepard idly mouths at his own cigarette. He almost never smokes, but he wants to ration their stocks of Blizzard Immunity, and it helps with the cold. It's seemed colder lately, for some reason.
Gepard flicks his lighter once, twice, sighs at the third time because a metal prosthetic and thick gloves make the damn things so difficult. Sampo reaches over and wordlessly kisses the end of his cigarette to Gepard's, lighting it. "Thank you."
Nothing happens for almost a full 30 seconds. Something churns behind Gepard's ribcage. Because Sampo never leaves a "thank you" hanging. This is the part where he gives his spiel about how helpful and kind he is and Gepard either brings up how long his rap sheet was before Bronya helped clear his name, or just stares deadpan because seeing Sampo squirm is weirdly satisfying.
"…I'll be back in one more week."
Gepard jolts awake in his cot, mouth dry and eyes bleary.
The hell.
The next dream he has, Sampo looks tired. Sometimes he seems normal. Sometimes he says strange things, like how he wishes he'd gone to some restaurant in Belobog. Ate his favorite food more recently. Brought something with him. Gepard asks why he can't do that now. Where would he bring something? Sampo only shrugs. His rebuttals have less energy.
Gepard doesn't know if he wants to dream more, or less.
He ticks down the days on his calendar. Natasha hasn't told him any different. She promised she would if she got any kind of message. Sampo returns tomorrow, from whatever vacation or seedy business dealings he's been off having. He is not excited about it. He is not looking forward to it. He's not!!
Gepard falls asleep late that night, unable to settle. He dreams again.
He's alone. There are tons of people everywhere, the frontlines are always crowded. But he's alone. They all pass right by him as though he were a ghost. Gepard starts to walk before he realizes his feet are even moving.
He checks the trashcans in the dead end alley. He checks the supply crates that someone always stacks too high because they don't feel like finding more space for them. He pauses to check the soldiers that march past him, watching their footprints in the snow.
He finally finds Sampo on the rooftop along the northernmost wall, the one that looks out over the plains, towards Everwinter Hill, towards where the Stellaron had once been kept. With a full moon and an entire land of white snow, Gepard can almost see clear out to the horizon.
"Found you." Sampo stiffens, and Gepard is almost prepared for him to sprint off the roof. He doesn't. But he doesn't relax either. Gepard sits down next to him and stares out at the wastelands.
"…I fucked up." It wasn't what Gepard had been expecting. Sampo never 'fucks up,' Sampo just gets into incidents that are entirely, supposedly, not his fault and that he just happens to always be within the vicinity of.
"What did you do now?" It must be really bad if Sampo is coming to the Silvermanes for protection.
Instead, Sampo ignores his question completely. "See out over there? Right on the other side of that mountain. There's a safe house that way. It's hidden under a lot of snow and dead trees, but it's there. And in that safe house is a box full of letters. I need you to deliver those letters for me."
Gepard's brow furrows. It's a weird favor to ask. Sampo would never tell anyone where his hidden safehouses were. It defeated the whole purpose of a hidden safe house.
Something is wrong, something is really really wrong.
Gepard turns back to look at him again and startles, all of his questions dying in his throat, because the entire left side of Sampo's head is suddenly matted down, dark and sticky, his skin is dyed red red red-
"In three more months, there's gonna be something big happening." Gepard grabs Sampo's hand and it feels slick and warm against his palm. "I won't be here. So I need you to do my end of things for me." Gepard tries to keep hold, but something is fading, something is slowing, the sun is coming up but the colors are all wrong, everything feels like encroaching fog, Sampo's hand slides right through his. "I was gonna come back with my mask to finish setting the stage, but…" Gepard makes a frantic grab for Sampo's wrist, the air twists, he comes back empty-handed. "They have you. And you're the Iron Wall of Belobog. So it'll be ok."
Gepard finally manages to find his grip, snatches the front of Sampo's dark wet jacket and yanks him forward to hold onto him, and this close up, he can see it better, his colors are bleaching out, leaking outside the lines as if Sampo will become part of the background, as if he's fading into the strange fog that's been closing in on them. His fingers are already starting to feel empty again.
"Wake up."
Gepard jolts awake, uncurls his hands from where they're fisted in the blanket, scrubs the dampness off his face. Breathes. Breathes. Breathes. Today is supposed to be the day.
He throws on his civilian clothes, and he goes down to the shipyard the IPC had built. He finds a spot where he can see every person that returns to Belobog, and he waits.
And he waits and he waits and he waits.
No one he recognizes appears.
#sampard#gepo#hsr gepard#hsr sampo#gepard landau#sampo koski#honkai star rail#hsr#blood#my fics#lucid dreamer#there was more to this but it didn't feel right included here so part 2 tomorrow maybe?#I just think Penacony being the land of dreams presents some FASCINATING possibilities like showing up in other people's dreams#the end of masquerade duet killed me just beat me dead#Sampo going through all this trouble just to protect Belobog...#poor Ray got such an earful that night haha#In the Penacony dreamscape someone can change their appearance however they want but I think in this case where one of the dreamers AREN'T-#-on Penacony it would take more concentration to keep that illusion up#and if someone were say. hurt and badly bleeding. it would start to fall apart eventually as they lost their concentration.#but oh my heart#Sampo being away and missing Belobog so badly he shows up in his friends' dreams just to do the same mundane shit they always do...#He probably showed up to everyone#he sat around and kept Natasha company in her clinic. he pestered Seele until he provoked her into asking Bronya on a date.#he played one last song with Pela and Serval. he told them he'd always kept his old bass guitar.#he took Hook out on one last joyride on his scooter and he even let her sit up front and steer like she'd always wanted.#and he stood around to shoot the shit with Gepard#he got to go do things like run domestic errands together with him. as if they could have been something more than what they were at the en#it was nice to get the chance to do all that#it was nice
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nohoney · 1 year
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sometimes i like to think abt accidentally getting knocked up by touya and he immediately expresses distain for having a child and you understand, but you’ve always wanted a child. so you part ways without a grudge and have the baby and then you bump into touya at the market with his baby on your hip and he can’t help how his heart picks up at the sight of you holding his kid
imagine that you and him were just a random tinder match with one another, both with the agreement to have just some no strings attached fun. while there wasn’t a relationship per se, you and him get close enough to know what you want in the future; you want a family and he doesn’t.
and you didn’t plan to have that family for a while of course, but next thing you know there’s two positive pregnancy tests sitting in your bathroom. touya notices that you kinda withdraw for a bit, occasionally checking in but doesn’t necessarily go out of his way since you’re not his girlfriend. after some time mulling it over, you decide to break the news. he’s not happy and well… you’re uncomfortable.
you decided to keep it.
to be honest you weren’t going to expect him to take responsibility because in the end, you and touya do not know each other well enough to rely on one another. even discussing an attempt at the possibility of co-parenting with him ends in this stalemate. you don’t want to be locked in baby daddy drama either so you decide for him; you’re having this baby without him.
it’s not a guilt trip or anything to make him concede to you, no chasing after for child support from him or expecting anything else. touya does not want to be a father but you are already a mother.
in front of one another, the two of you delete each other’s information from your phones along with any evidence of the two of you together which really only consisted of your text chain and the occasional nude. he tells you good luck and you bid him goodbye.
you have a healthy baby boy, taking more after you in his looks but he has his father’s eyes. after delivering, you can’t help but let your mind wander to touya and wonder what he’s up to. you don’t get to dwell long though because your baby starts crying in his crib and now motherhood truly begins for you.
on a summer day when your son is just a little over a year old, you carry him on your hip as you walk through a market. you were just passing on through to buy a birthday card and then needing to drop off your son at your mother’s house before heading over to your friend’s birthday party. you talk to your son, acting like he’s apart of the card decision making, picking one up to present to him and laughing when he smacks it away.
you don’t notice touya at the very end of aisle, having recognized your voice as he passed by and doing a double take when he realizes it’s you. he hides himself a little, peeking his eye around the corner. you still rock a summer dress very well, even after having a baby, after having his baby. he observes quietly, wondering at all if it was appropriate to make himself known to you. from afar, touya sees that your son resembles more you than him but he wonder if that kid will grow up to be a little stinker like he was when he was a brat.
your son holds tightly to a card you hand him and you praise him for choosing the right one for his auntie. you adjust him on your hip and start to walk towards the self checkout aisle. touya sees his son’s face, gets a glimpse of turquoise blue that he inherited from his father and is passed down to your kid. and really he should keep his distance, let you go on about your day and he should go on with his.
and yet he follows in your direction, leaving behind his basket, and he’s tapping your shoulder before he can even think twice about it. “hey (name)…”
“oh… touya?”
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maxaroniiiii · 10 months
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it's them!!
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energysynergymatrix · 4 months
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Ok I bit the bullet and made an Ososan OC and his full name is Len Kanemaru.
He's the so-called perfect guy, pretty boy barista type turned up to 11, who might as well have manifested from thin air, who has genuine fanboys and fangirls, and most of the Matsunos want him fucking dead. He's oblivious to both of these aspects of the public opinion and seems kind of empty headed for the most part. He is also struggling just as badly as them but literally no one would believe him if he told them.
He also wants to kiss the oldest DESPITE the fact that his brothers are so jealous of him for being so perfect. Shenanigans ensue.
If you want a more detailed write up about him read the cut.
OK SO . Len is a guy trying his best to pretend to be an adult despite wanting to be anything but it. Unlike the Matsunos who dont pretend to be an adult and are anything but it, Len is trying to push through adult life while wanting to return to childhood when things were easier.
Sure he has a job as barista, but he's poor with money, spending it like he's still a teenager, struggles to maintain contact with people he’s befriended outside of work, DESPITE thinking people hating him is the end of the world, and surprisingly, still lives with his parents.
The thing is that he's REALLY good at pretending to have it all together. He has quite a few fanboys and fangirls and is often described as a prince. (It’s because of his charmingly good customer service skills that is his only real social experience post highschool.) But, despite being in his mid twenties, hes kind of poorly equipped socially and is unable to pick this up, despite it being clear to literally everyone.
(Like he thinks he’s being bad at pretending to be a well put together adult, and then turns around and can handle rush pretty well understaffed, not make any mistakes, and still keep a pleasant demeanor that his admirers swoon over. Anytime someone does act like a fan trying to get his love it’s met with confusion and just. “Huh.” more than anything. He doesn’t even reject them because he doesn’t realize so many people are in love with him)
This includes quite a few Matsunos who are jealous of him for being so popular (and admittedly kind of cool), find his princely yet oblivious attitude almost annoying, and somewhat creepy because of how much he knows about them from highschool. And those who aren't irritated by him are relatively apathetic towards him.
The only reason theyre so aware of him is the fact that he and Todomatsu worked at the same cafe before the latter quit. It was after he quit that Len properly met the sextuplets, having a chance encounter with the boys sometime after. Todomatsu was already irritated by him, by again, seeing above, but also because he already seemed intimately familiar with Totty during his highschool years.
It's like they had a whole classmate just manifest into being while skipping the "actually go to class together" part.
(They did actually go to school together but literally no one knew he existed during then. Not to their fault though, Len was basically that one vine that's like "I can't I have so much to do tomorrow" *fucks around on the keyboard. Because of that Len ended up being bad with people by the time he graduated and was ushered into the work force by his parents. As a result he can't really keep friends, often times contact dying off on accident. A lot of the time spent working is him TRYING his best to maintain relationships as an adult but it never really works out. Deep down Len wishes he could redo highschool, so he could not only get this skills but also find some memories that he so clearly missed out on. Because he willingly opted out of making those therefore other people don’t remember him. As far as he knows he hasn’t really had a friend since middle school.)
But like after the two and Totty's brothers encountered each other in public a whole bomb got dropped and nothing was the same.
Despite generally not liking him the Matsunos keep him around, mostly due to Totty's insistence saying they can use him (so they cant kill him yet!) but because Len is kind of bad with people in general outside of having a fandom (that, again, came with his customer service skills), and the Matsunos are the Matsunos, this never ever goes well.
Despite this and how much shenanigans the Matsunos end up dragging him into, he considers them friends since its the closest relationship he's maintained outside of his house. On top of that, he almost admires them for being NEETs. He's kind of ashamed of it, because he knows they have to be an adult, but because he's struggling so much as an adult, he wants nothing more than to be like them. He wants to stop being an adult and return to highschool.
It's why he takes to Osomatsu so much, since he seems most open about how shitty he is and how much he doesnt want to grow up. Like weirdly enough, his man-child behavior is what makes Len likes him so much. Sure he also has a big heart and loves his family, and Len can acknowledge Oso’s best aspects, but it’s the worst parts of him that loves.
And that admiration for having his character laid out flat and embracing his childishness despite his age and situation, how he practically will just grow up when he wants to rather than when he has to (unlike Len), makes the perfect man fall for the loser guy.
The more he hangs around the Matsunos the more they encourage him to tap into his evil side, and may end up making him worse, but for now he's Mr Perfect and most of them hate him for that. He doesn't get the message though so he's just kind of hanging around them for now.
Anyways he and Osomatsu are literally I'm Glad You're Evil Too to me . And also look at these sketches of him .
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#txt#ososan#osomatsu-san#osomatsu san oc#Len Kanemaru (OC)#my ocs#my art#lenoso#oc x canon#when i think more in depth into his individual relationships with the sextuplets i will probably do a better write up on that#i think the sextuplets are ultimately conflicted on him but because of that conflict#especially given their opinions before they learned more about him#it comes out in hostility and jealousy#mainly from Todomatsu#and maybe choromatsu i think#ichimatsu and len actually relate to each other a lot#especially since len is kind of struggling with what ichimatsu was going through in highschool (except as an adult)#but because they dont really communicate well either they cant really have their :handshake: moment until much later#i think osomatsu is the one who bridges their gaps though and helps clear the air on both sides mutual jealousy#with len and oso having a heart to heart over some drinks (that the former paid for by blowing an entire pay check)#(Len being horrible with money moment)#but again thats much later . and i think since ososan is a bit focused show anyways#the inherent bit of Len pining for Oso while he has better suitors trying to get his attention.#all while the brothers are wishing the worst upon him#is very funny#its like nyaachan and just dont except for the part where everyone liked nyaachan because none of them like him#(osomatsu might be a bit more conflicted on him though . something something oso might have actually remembered him then. again ill think)#but theyre all kind of oblivious to everyones exact feelings going on so they just kind of hang out and hope#len will hook them up with someone (he will not)#if u want to hear more about him or have questions send me asks... i would love to share and think more about him.
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thehallstara · 2 years
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actually. actually. gonna get spicy for a hot sec but blaseball fans please learn antisemitic stereotypes so you stop playing into them and giving them to players you design to hate please for the love of g.d
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dreamlogic · 7 months
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going through another round of "what if i got a cane would my life be easier with a cane should i get a cane" hmmmm
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ghostbeam · 3 months
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Fwb with Oliver who expects he’ll have to break things off once you get too attached but it’s worth it for a little fun except u never get too attached in fact ur the one who has to tell him it’s over bc he’s gotten too clingy
#I’m thinking I’m having thoughts#my avoidant attachment comes out soooo full force w bllk men it’s crazy#but anyways…..u meet u hook up once#u think it’ll be a one time thing which ur cool with#but the Oliver proposes u make it a regular thing#it’s too good u get real slutty (and so does he) he’s not satisfied with one time#probably does some cheesy don’t fall in love w me speech#but u know what this is#except at some point lines start blurring#and Oliver starts to come over without even looking to have sex#he just wants ur company watch a movie order food#boyfriend things#except Oliver is not boyfriend material and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be#and while he knows he maybe should stop it#he can’t#cause he likes u#and maybe it has to end but he wants to keep it going as long as he can#until one day ur asking him to meet up#and telling him u don’t think it’s a good idea to keep hooking up#and the truth is ur falling for him#and u know he might be feeling the same way#but u tell him that u think he’s treating u too much like a girlfriend#u lay out the facts#he has no choice but to agree#he knew it was coming he just didn’t expect for u to be the one to break it to him#but now he can’t sleep bc he can’t call u before bed#and every time he hears your favorite song ur all he thinks about#and sometimes he picks up snacks u like when he’s out for when u come over but u don’t come over anymore#he’s never been so torn up about someone in his life#omg I reached the tag limit bye
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atopvisenyashill · 3 days
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do love how this is an asoiaf blog but i did not put either show in my top 10 this is the world we live in
#the only season that really compares to the book is season 1.#the rest even when they’re engaging have changed something that feels so central to the hook that i’m mad aksjd.#getting on my soap box#if iwtv s3 is good it may knock someone out. probably qaf.#bsg is p high up there i just think season 4 really suffered on pacing & the suspicious nature of who dies annoyed me.#veep is also very high up there tbh i need to rewatch it. the thing is. as we know. i am a romantic at heart and amy & jonah have my favorit#sitcom relationship. veep has genuinely one of the best finales to ever exist but i’m a sap.#and amy coming back to tell jonah that he made her realize she doesn’t actually have to expect the worst from life. oh my god.#also superstore >>> parks & rec >>> the office bc superstore never romanticized the hell of their job#amy quitting her corporate job when she realized she would never be able to make the changes she wanted within the system she was always#going to compromise too much and wind up like jeff. glenn reopening his dad’s hardware shop & specifically who goes w him & who stays w gina#at the store? it has what the other two lack which is characters that feel like they keep existing after you stop watching#BECAUSE the way they interacted with the world was so real and so much more realistic. amy can’t fix the system but she can find a job that#she doesn’t feel is so soul sucking. glenn may be choosing a harder path by reopening the hardware store but it’s the one that makes him#most fulfilled. gina just gets to make money and be bossy w people who do what they’re told. that rings so true to me.#i almost out bojack horseman in here too actually but once again i think the last season just needed to be a tad longer just like bsg.#also same issue w pitch as w bly manor - it’s an amazingly written season of tv but it’s ONE season of tv#big brother as always outsells yes i am hoping to tempt some of u into watching by posting dan & ian in the dog costume#i have that gif and the ‘sit’ scene saved on my phone always
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crypt1dcorv1dae · 1 month
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I've literally never understood parents who don't let their like... TODDLER age kids play with kids of the "opposite" gender. Like wtf do you think your 3 year old is gonna get up to????? News flash heteros people aren't literally born sexual beings and you don't need to protect your sweet baby girl from the boy from her preschool class.
Which also makes boy/girl friendships later on actually LESS TABOO meaning, if your kid grew up being friends with OTHER GENDERS, they will be less likely to see others solely as potential romantic/sexual objects and can actually have positive normal friendships with people of any sex or gender. Who fucking knew that if you don't treat something as FORBIDDEN then it stops being so appealing, especially if you have a rebellious streak
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delta-orionis · 2 months
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I crocheted a little too close to the sun and now my hand hurts
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danielnelsen · 1 month
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things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesn’t seem to be too bad now that she’s got pain relief so idk what’s stopping her from sleeping#she won’t even lie down unless i’m sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#that’ll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it won’t be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea what’s wrong with you or why everyone’s doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. there’s no way she has any idea what’s going on rn but she’s clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think she’ll be ok in the long-term but she’s gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping don’t have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesn’t help that there’s so much other shit going on rn#i’m doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer that’s taking a lot of work#but also my sister’s going on a long overseas trip that she’s leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 days—#has the dogs really wound up. so georgie’s been howling at absolutely everything#and it’s rainy so my clothes aren’t trying and they’re hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door can’t close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so they’re waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so that’s ALL THE TIME. i’ve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasn’t very receptive#like ‘im about to go away for 3 months’ sorry i know its a big thing but i can’t just reschedule peach’s medical emergency
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doedipus · 5 months
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a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.
it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.
#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it#and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months#I forget if I posted about that#and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff#the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture#the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked#nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too#probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that#and how I want the thing to be divided up#since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu#and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign#some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii#but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other#and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story#besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc#a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal#and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something#and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with#I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research#which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue#but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check#although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line#with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself#I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively#this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.
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milfygerard · 5 months
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living in the inbetween hell where I dont hate or love ttpd enough to agree with anyone on the dash so im just sort of flinching whenever I see a post about it from any side
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