#granted I’ve only been actively back into dating since last week

[evansbby]

guys should i go meet this guy?

[emma-ofnormandy]

Gathered up my courage and jumped in on @blind-dates-fest 2024 with a fandom I have not written for before (that’s in a time period I’m slightly terrified to write for)- so yay for getting outside the comfort zone!

I’ve also dropped a tiny morsel of my other OC that I had already created but have yet to introduce to the fandom while I was at it because, well, I can.

Thank you so much @mercurygray for hosting this wonderful event.

Without further ado, please let me introduce Cpl. Winifred “Winnie” Harris for the SAS: Rogue Heroes fandom.

If there was one thing Winnie loved about Cairo, it was that the sun was always shining. Granted, it was hot and sticky, making sweat drip down her back, but it was bright and consistent and that was something to a girl who grew up with a weather pattern that changed by the hour. The sky was always blue too, and it was frequently the backdrop to an array of strange and beautiful birds that fascinated her. She would miss it when she returned home. 

If there is even a home to go back to, she thought miserably.

She knew what the papers reported, heard the gossip through headquarters, connected enough calls, that she inevitably thought of her father and little brother still at home. Though they insisted the bombings were far from them and everything was running as smoothly as ever, with the exception of the poor performing ram her father bought off the neighbor last spring, it was hard to chase the worry completely from her mind. 

The nature of war, she imagined. Everyone was worried about someone or something. All she had to do was look in the faces of those working around her to know that.

The green was bustling with activity; all the benches and a good portion of the grass had been claimed by people like her, taking a moment to enjoy the weather, some relaxing with lunches or a mid day nap, while others rushed across to finish their daily errands. Officers and enlisted personnel came and went from headquarters in a steady pace, most of them clean and fresh faced, their worries of the day involving various forms of paper shuffling, or perhaps the occasional bout of plotting, but she didn’t miss the few that wore the desert and the marks of war on their uniform. The look in their eyes told her all she needed to know. 

Tobruk had been hit again and the hospital had been inundated with the casualties all day. She’d spent much of her shift connecting lines in and out of the upstairs offices, the switchboard alight with demands from across the ocean and pleas for help from those still holding their ground, and it was only now, three hours past noon, that there had been a lull long enough that Winnie had been able to step away and eat the measly lunch that was provided. Not that anything looked appealing at the moment. It never looked particularly appealing, if she was to be honest, and it was a good thing that the Army did not rely on the promise of good food to up their recruitment numbers in the African campaign.

Beside her, a dirt covered mongrel leaned against her, its large brown eyes looking up at her in wonder. “I don’t think this is even fit for you to eat, but I can’t say no to a face like that.”  

The dog offered no complaint and finished the offering in two quick bites before giving her hand a nudge, demanding his customary post lunch pats.

Since she first landed in Cairo, Winnie had taken it upon herself to offer food to a friendly stray if they approached her and this one was just the latest of her wards. The unnamed pooch had joined her for lunch a few weeks back and since then he waited around for her each day to share a meal and receive some pats before they both went their separate ways. It was a bright spot in her day, and she liked to think it was one for him as well. 

Had the circumstances been different, Winnie would have brought him home the first day they’d met, hating the idea of him living on the streets, at the mercy of men who had hardened with war and on more than one occasion, had proven they had little empathy for the strays of Cairo, but the apartment she lived in was small and she didn’t dare push the hospitality of her roommate. 

Felicity wouldn’t have batted an eye, had Winnie brought the dog home, welcoming the four legged friend in with open arms, but Winnie felt like she had already imposed enough on her friend. Not only had Felicity offered up the spare bedroom of her apartment so Winnie didn’t have to stay in army housing, and left a standing invitation to her family’s Sunday dinners, but she was also tolerating a handful of misfit creatures that had already made their way home on various occasions. 

Currently, the apartment was a landing spot for a parrot that had belonged to a sailor, who had offered no promise of a return date, a litter of kittens that Winnie swore she was just feeding until they were big enough to go back to their home in the alley behind the apartment building, a mud colored terrier that had been rescued from a group of drunken enlisted men and was supposed to be going to Felicity’s parent’s house any day now, and a one eyed cat named Miss Fiz that had belonged to an elderly lady in the building who had passed away and had, on her own accord, claimed Winnie’s bed as her new home. 

They were, for better or worse, at full capacity.

“More wounded are expected,” she told the dog, “and General Auchinleck doesn’t seem to have an answer for the troops still holding position. None of the supplies are making it.”

The dog groaned in appreciation when she moved to scratch behind his ears.

“And you know those crates of champagne I told you about a couple weeks ago? Apparently, they were for some well to do for the upper brass. It would seem anyone with a pin on their shoulder in the greater Cairo area were enjoying themselves while men were getting shelled on the coast. What do you think about that?” 

“I imagine he doesn’t approve of it much.”

Startled, Winnie jerked her head up. A tall, lean soldier, his hair neatly parted on one side, stood in front of her. His army issued kaki was just like all the rest, worn but serviceable, and though his sunglasses hid his eyes, his face was clean and he didn’t smell like death, so she surmised he must be posted somewhere near the city rather than a man who came in from Tobruk.

“I would hope so.” Unfazed at being caught talking to a dog, a common occurrence at this point, she smiled up at the stranger. “But he doesn’t say much one way or the other, so for now, we’ll just have to put him on the side of the enlisted men.” 

The corner of the tall man’s mouth tipped up with amusement before he crouched down to the dog’s level and reached out to ruffle his ears. “Does your companion have a name?”

“Not yet.”

His brows drew down in confusion, but when he spoke it was to the dog and not her. “Well no wonder you don’t tell her much. What kind of owner doesn’t name their dog.”

It was Winnie’s turn to frown. “He’s not my dog. He’s a stray,” she said, indignantly. “Besides, I haven’t found a name that suits him yet.”

The man studied the dog’s face for a moment, squishing the skin up around the eyes like one the wrinkle faced pugs Winnie’s aunt used to own before releasing it and scratching his ears once more. “He seems like a Withers to me.”

“Withers? What kind of name is Withers?”

“A good one.”

She scoffed.

“And I suppose you would have preferred what… Scout? Or maybe Champ?”

“Actually, I had been thinking of calling him Milo.” She hadn’t been, he certainly didn’t look like a Milo to her, but she had to think of something. Anything would be better than Withers.

He huffed, his distaste of the name obvious.

“And what,” she searched for any sort of identification on his person, her eyes finally settling on the star on his shoulder, “is wrong with the name Milo, Lieutenant?”

“What’s wrong with the name Withers?” he countered.

“It’s a spot on a horse’s back, not a name for a dog.”

“Well, his shoulders sure stick out enough to look like a horse’s withers.”

He wasn’t wrong. Her lunch rations and the few bits she saved for him from her breakfast was not enough to keep him well fed. But something was better than nothing and he wasn’t running around skin and bones so she figured he was finding food elsewhere.

“Sadly, additional canine rations are not provided in the enlisted personnel’s lunch.”

“No, I imagine they aren’t. But I have a feeling he has eaten his fair share all the same.”

There wasn’t a hint of reprimand in his voice and Winnie found herself charmed by the stranger. “Perhaps, Lieutenant…”

“Fraser.” He rose from his spot beside the dog and extended a hand towards her. “Bill Fraser”

“Corporal Winifred Harris,” she said, ignoring his hand, instead saluting him as she rose. His face seemed to flush under the Egyptian sun and she couldn’t hide her amusement. “First time being saluted by a woman?”

The men at headquarters seemed to live and die by the gesture, if the way they puffed out their chest every time was any indicator, but Lieutenant Fraser was obviously uncomfortable with it. Either the men in the field were not as strict when it came to rank or it was just the fact that she was a woman that flustered him. Her bet was on the latter.

“No, that's not-” He stopped short. “Yes. And the formality isn’t required or wanted.”

She chuckled. “Fair enough.” At least he was honest, and she would never pass up a moment to forgo the formalities. 

“So Corporal Harris, what is it that you do in Cairo?” 

Between them, having been ignored long enough by the newcomer, the dog gave an annoyed huff and returned to his spot beside Winnie, once again leaning against her for a scratch, to which she obliged.

“I man the switchboards out of headquarters.” 

The lieutenant seemed to accept that position as reasonable, or that’s what she gathered from the idle nod he gave.

“Is it all that you thought it would be? Being a switchboard operator.”

Winnie couldn’t hold back her chuckle. While manning the board for a war headquarters offered much more activity than it did in her small village, she wouldn’t consider it particularly adrenaline pumping on the day to day front. But, it was something she knew how to do and the army had been scrambling to fill the positions. 

Besides, it got her off the farm and gave her the opportunity to see someplace new, and she was grateful for that.

“They weren’t hiring for shepherdess positions when I went to the enlistment office, so I had to offer up my next best skill. Not as picturesque, but at least it’s warm here.”

There was a hint of amusement in his voice. “Not a need for sheep herders in Egypt, then?”

“Apparently not,” she lamented. “Too bad for them, I’ve got a lifetime of experience in sheep and only a few years at the switchboard, but I suppose that’s where they needed me the most.” 

“A lifetime huh?” 

Though hidden by glasses, she could feel his gaze roam over her, as if trying to pinpoint just how long a lifetime was. He could just keep trying to pinpoint it, too.

She smiled down at the dog as she spoke again. “And you? Who are you with?”

Bill idly rubbed at his chin, his previous train of thought seemingly forgotten as he gave heavy consideration to a question she thought was fairly straightforward. 

“The SAS.”

Winnie in no way considered herself an expert in all the units based out of Cairo, but the nature of her job meant she was fairly well versed with who was who and their locations and she was confident SAS was not in the area.

“SAS? Never heard of that unit before.”

“Imagine not.”

She arched a brow. He offered no more information and Winnie couldn’t help the curious bug that began to crawl through her. “Are you new to Cairo? I can’t say any unit remotely matching that name has come across my line before.”

The lieutenant scratched his head as he tilted it up to watch as a pair of plovers flew overhead, avoiding her gaze completely.

Pluvianus aegyptius she thought, distractedly. They were one of her favorites.

“You could say that,” he finally muttered.

His evasiveness only made her interest grow. An advantage to being stationed at headquarters was that it was where all the gossip started, official and unofficial, and it would only take a few shifts before she was able to figure out what she wanted to know about this mysterious regiment. 

“So, Lieutenant Fraser, you aren’t stationed at headquarters, and you don’t look, or smell, as if you came in with the wounded from Tobruk earlier, so forgive me for asking, but what brings you and your secret unit to this part of Cairo? Usually, men such as yourself prefer far more… amusing exploits on the other side of town.”

He didn’t seem insulted by her frankness or curiosity, which was a relief since she had never been very good with the delicacy of conversation. No matter how hard she tried, more often than not, she tripped over the line of propriety and straight into tactlessness.

“Had to drop paperwork off. The green is a nice detour back.”

“They sending you out?” There was the line and, again, she stomped right over it.

He chuckled. “Are you always this curious about all the soldiers you meet?”

Her face flushed, slightly embarrassed. “Most of the soldiers I meet are paper pushers. I know what their day consists of so I have no reason to ask them many questions.”

“Surely you meet more than just the ones that walk the halls there.” He gestured towards the main gate where trucks were waiting at the barricade of headquarters.

She didn’t, at least not regularly. Though she went out on occasion with some of the girls after shift and Felicity had drug her to several dinners at the Cairo Museum, she wasn’t what one would consider experienced in large cities, especially alone, and more often than not, she found herself curling up at home with Miss Fiz, sketching those strange yet fascinating birds, rather than going out. 

“Now who’s the curious one.”

That earned her a crooked smile and he raised his hands in surrender. 

She needed to head back inside, her shift at the board wasn’t over quite yet and it was past time that the dog should be headed off to wherever the next stop in his day was.

“I wish you and your unit luck, Lieutenant, wherever you are going next.” Wiping at invisible lint on her skirt, Winnie gave her new acquaintance a friendly smile. “It was nice to meet you, but I must be getting back to my wires.” She turned and began her way back across the green, the dog keeping pace by her side.

“Next time I am in the city, I may stop by,” she heard him yell. “To see how Withers is holding up!”

What do we have here? 

Winnie stooped and glanced at him over her shoulder. He was relaxed, hands crammed into the pockets of his shorts, and his mouth was kicked up in a lazy smile. She wasn’t sure what to make of the offer but decided it was strictly canine related. It had to be strictly canine related; she was going to let herself believe that there was still a soldier or two left in Cairo that had a soft spot for more than just women and rum.

With a casual wave over her shoulder, she kept walking and waited till she was a good distance away, letting her voice carry over the green like one of the strange birds that fascinated her. “I can’t guarantee that Milo will be around at that time, but it never hurts to stop by and check!”

[lcvernat]

In The Stars | Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: The stars almost look as beautiful as your girlfriend, but nothing would ever shine quite as bright as she once did.

Word Count: 1.4k

Content Warnings: heavy angst, mention of alcohol, natasha is dead (sorry ☹️), a lot of grief, just very depressing so please be warned, sort of a bittersweet ending

A/N: i was in an angsty mood, sorry not sorry. although this is my first fully angst fic i’ve wrote here so there’s a first for everything i suppose. also the date is based on the wiki so if it’s wrong don’t come for me pls. love y’all, enjoy (or not).

16th October, 2024

One year. It had been one year since you and Natasha had went to Vormir to retrieve the soul stone, and only you had come back, stone in hand but missing a piece of your heart. Truthfully, it felt like it had been longer. A million years had passed for you. A million years since you last heard her laugh, since you last saw her smile. You question if it was even worth it.

You don’t think it was. She died for a world that would only ever see her as evil, a world that didn’t deserve her. She brought back people who hated on her, and she had left you behind. You didn’t care if people thought you were selfish, because she was the only person on this earth who had made you believe that maybe life wasn’t so bad. You’d give everything up just to touch her again.

Sometimes you felt like you were the only one to mourn her. When it was Tony, everyone grieved for weeks. It was all over the news, everyone in the world knew about it and grieved for him. A funeral was held.

Natasha didn’t get that. Your star, the one person who had made you feel appreciated and loved, didn’t get that. Granted, the rest of the Avengers were sad for a couple of weeks. Clint, he was sad for awhile, considering she was his best friend, but he had got his family back and he had eventually moved on. Everyone had moved on and it was as if she had never even existed.

The rational part of your brain knows that’s not true, all of the Avengers had lost her, and they had all grieved for her, but they eventually moved on. Like everyone says you’re supposed to. You don’t know how to move on. Whoever said it gets easier with time was wrong, it doesn’t. The anger and grief take over your heart, destroying everything that ever made you happy, and it stays there forever. Sometimes it’s only a dull ache, other times it hurts so bad all you can do is scream and cry until your throat is raw and you have no more tears left.

You had nowhere to go after the battle. The compound was destroyed, along with all of yours and Natasha’s belongings. You would never be able to smell her scent on her hoodies again. Clint had kindly allowed you to stay in the guest room of his home as long as you needed, which you were thankful for, but you knew he was only doing it for Natasha. You had never really been close to any of the Avengers except Nat.

You were overstaying your welcome at this point, it had been a year, and you should probably find your own place. Especially because waking up everyday to see Clint happy with his wife and kids filled you with a resentment you wish wasn’t there. He deserved to be happy with his family, Natasha wanted that, you should want that. But nowadays you wanted no one to be happy, you wanted people to feel what you were feeling every day.

Taking a swig of your beer, you stare up at the stars, an activity you and Natasha had loved to do together, from the Barton’s front step.

Natasha would hate to see you like this. Your life a mess, reliant on her best friend and his family, still hurting even though it had been a year. You close your eyes for a second and take a deep breath, before quickly reopening them. Every time you closed them all you were met with was the sight of her lifeless body at the bottom of a cliff.

The tears silently fall down your face as you search for the brightest star. When you find it, your lips tilt up in the slightest hint of a smile. Even though the brightest star in the universe would still never compare to Natasha’s smile, you found solace in looking at it each night, pretending it was her.

“Hey, Natty,” you whisper into the silence of the night, “I miss you. A lot. I hope you’re happy, wherever you are,” your voice cracks, and you bite your lip as you stifle a sob. You don’t want to be too loud, since it’s almost midnight and everyone is asleep, “I hope you aren’t worrying about me. I hope you’re laughing instead at the state I’m in, that’d help a lot, knowing you’re making fun of me,” you chuckle weakly before sighing, “why’d you have to do it? Why do you have to be so stubborn all the time? Why do you always get everything you want? I have all of these questions, and you aren’t here to answer them,” you let your words settle into the air, hoping they’re reaching her wherever she is, as you pick up a stone by your foot and throw it across the grass.

“It should’ve been me. You had people who loved you, who cared for you. I still remember the faces of your parents and Yelena as I told them that you were dead. I still remember Lila’s face when I told her that her auntie was never going to come back. I had no one, Natasha,” you breathed, “no one. I only had you. And now you’re gone. I don’t,” you cut off abruptly as the pain becomes too much. You’re fully sobbing now, all care of being quiet long gone. You lean forward, your hands covering your face as you whisper meekly, “I don’t have anyone anymore.”

“You have me,” Clint’s quiet voice sounds at the doorway. You’re not surprised you woke him up, but you don’t have the effort to turn around as you quietly cry into your hands, your shoulders shaking at the force of it.

You hear him sigh before the creaking of the wood below you tells you that he’s walking towards you. He sits down beside you. No one says anything for a few minutes. He doesn’t look at you and you don’t look at him.

“You know,” Clint sighs, breaking the silence, “she loved you a lot. I think she somehow loved you more than a normal human is capable of loving. Her love for you was bigger than the whole universe,” he still doesn’t look at you as he continues, “I don’t know how but, the night before the time heist, she knew that something was going to go wrong. That we weren’t all going to make it out alive. She told me that if anything happened to her, that I make sure that you’ll be okay. Of course, I thought she was just being overprotective, but I promised her anyway,” he finally looks at you then, “I won’t break my promise. I know we didn’t talk much before, and even now, we still don’t talk all that often. And I get it, I do. I don’t know what you saw that night, but I know losing her wasn’t easy on you. It wasn’t easy on me either, and God does it still hurt. I still cry when I look at old photos of us together, she was the most amazing person ever and she deserved so much better than the shitty life she was given. You made her life better Y/N. Don’t be mad because she died protecting you, because I know you’d do the same for her,”

He was right. You nod but don’t say anything as the tears continue to flow.

“I will help you through this, Y/N. Whatever way you need to, however long it takes, but I will stay by your side throughout it all. Natasha wouldn’t want you to waste your life mourning her. She’d want you to live your life and enjoy every single moment of it. And someday you’ll learn to be able to think about her with a smile on your face, okay?”

You nod again before you feel him wrap his arms around you. You lean into him as you continue to cry, but you notice vaguely that it hurts a tiny bit less. Your eyes stray up again to the star, and you know that Clint is right. Natasha would want you to move on and live your life to the fullest. You would never forget her, but hopefully, as Clint said, one day you’ll be able to think about her and feel a sense of comfort instead of the sharp, stabbing pain you’ve grown accustomed to.

You’d see her again eventually, but for now, she’s the brightest star in the sky, guiding you along a path you once thought was dark, twisted and with no end, but now a small spark of hope has been lit inside of you that maybe there is really a light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ll be okay, you promise her.

tags: @olicity-boo @eonrioromanova @r4nd0mgir1

dm me, send me an ask or reply to be on my taglist!

[fe-fictions]

Do you have anything but really ANYTHING with Saizo ? 😭 I miss my ninja boi so much ;-)

(How about very pregnant corrin needs to be protected from an invasion!!! ;;; A ;;; )

There was such joy in everything Saizo did. Ever since you told him you were with child, he’d  changed every aspect of his life to reflect his happiness.

He went on and on about how the next in a long, proud line of Saizo’s was on the way and he could hardly wait. It made you laugh when he said firstborn, as if suggesting the potential for more along the way...you needed to make sure he didn’t get too far with those family expansion plans.

You were due any day. He became more doting, taking time to accompany you  in lieu of guarding Ryoma.

You guessed it was because Ryoma told him to stick with you, considering you were his heavily pregnant wife. But, you could feel his eyes on you even when he was supposed to be focused on Ryoma.

He was longing to be with you even when ordered not to be. It was cute, seeing how protective Saizo was. 

It made you relieved to know the baby had a wonderful father. But every now and then, you did have to put some limits on his doting privileges.

Such was the topic of conversation you shared with him that afternoon, as he helped you into your seat while Jakob prepared your tea.

“I think we ought to consider giving you more time to work, my love. You seem to be using an awful lot of personal days I don’t think any of us knew you had.”

“Taking care of you and the baby is more than enough, right now.” Saizo assured you, “I’ve worked long enough; right now my time is best spent with you.”

“I know, dear, and it does make me happy to know you’re eager. But you dont’ have to be here with me if you have duties to perform.”

“I already cleared it with Kagero and Lord Ryoma. They’re taking the necessary steps to keep him safe during my absence. Besides, it’s not like it’ll be this way forever. You ought to enjoy it while it lasts.”

“It’s not that I don’t enjoy it,” You told him with a soft smile, and placed your hand over his. “I just want to make sure you’re not feeling cooped up or as if you’re...wasting your time.”

“Making sure you are safe and healthy is the furthest thing from a ‘waste of time’, Corrin.” Saizo told you firmly, “I promise you, there’s nowhere I’d rather be. I’ll stay as long as I can.”

“You really think they’ll be okay without you?” You asked honestly, “I didn’t realize you were capable of putting that much trust in other people.”

“Well...I’ve learned a little bit more about trusting other people, recently.” He replied to you with a tender expression, drawing your hand to his cheek before linking his fingers with yours. “You’ve done more for me than you could ever know, Lady Saizo.”

“Yes, well...the Lady Saizo is feeling a bit hungry, as is Little Saizo.” You told him, resting a hand on your baby bump.

He pressed a chaste kiss to your growing bump before rising up and giving you a more proper one.

“I’ll be back with some breakfast from the kitchens. I’ll have Reina make your favorite.”

“Ooh, yes please.” You hummed happily, catching that grin on Saizo’s lips before he turned and drew his mask back up.

You settled back into your chair, feeling a little foot tap against your skin. You had been dealing with uncomfortable cramps and pains all morning, costing you a good bit of rest.

The baby had been a lot more active than usual, and you weren’t entirely sure why. A small part of you worried that the baby was planning on coming sooner than anticipated; granted it was only a week or so from the suggested delivery date, but still.

There was a lot that went into having a child, and you were nervous about going into it unprepared or at a moment of vulnerability.

If only you realized how grounded and real those fears were, when you dismissed them that morning. If you’d known what was coming, you never would have let the thoughts wander away.

Yet, you did.

The reality of the situation wouldn’t hit until moments later.

Saizo had tasked himself with helping Reina prepare your breakfast, making sure to slip in a few ninja nutritional powders that would help keep you nice and strong and birth a healthy baby. 

Of course Reina didn’t need to know this, since she’d probably scold him for tampering with the food (as if it wasn’t completely safe. Tch).

The two of them had barely gotten through plating the food before the alarm sounded.

Saizo froze when the horns of war blasted through the camp, dropping the food and sprinting out of the kitchen with Reina right behind him.

“An enemy ambush has been spotted! They’re coming for the Castle!” A guard announced, throwing the rest of the place into preparing for battle.

Saizo started for the barracks, then stopped, looking back to your room.

They were close. Too close. You were in danger. The Castle was supposed to be a safe place, but there wasn’t anything he could do if they were encroaching on the safe territory. 

There was nowhere else he could hide you. There wasn’t enough time.

An arrow whistled through the air, catching the shoulder of a soldier up on the castle’s outer walls. His heart dropped. They were already here.

“Saizo, you need to get to Corrin somewhere safe.”

“They’ve already breached the castle,” He forced out, “There’s nowhere to take her. There’s no safe path if they’ve closed in.”

“There must be some place besides that tree, Saizo. She’s in no condition to fight, let alone be in any form of danger.” Reina reminded him, as if it needed to be spoken.

Saizo grit his teeth, scanning for alternative hiding places. Perhaps his old room. It was close, but inaccessible to the general public.

An enemy soldier wouldn’t think to look in a servant’s little corner in the back of a giant compound. Saizo turned on his heel and sprinted for your room, hearing the shouts of the enemy get louder by the second.

This was a nightmare scenario. He couldn’t believe this was happening. All that work he put into keeping you safe and it was already being threatened in a matter of seconds.

He cursed to himself as he launched himself up, climbing up the tree and bursting through the door with no hesitation.

“Corrin, we have to go.”

“S-Saizo? Ah…”

“I’m taking you to my quarters- you’ll be much safer there. I’ll have Oboro stay close until everything’s finished, and then-”

“Saizo, stop!” Jakob’s voice snapped him from his beeline towards you, and he started to realize that something was off. “We can’t move her.”

“Why not?” He demanded, urgently impatient.

“She’s going into labor, you dolt! Can’t you see that?!”

For one full second, Saizo’s brain stopped working. 

He stared at you, seeing how you grasped your side and clung to Jakob for all you were worth. There was a pain in your expression, your entire body tense.

 Your strained whimper drew his thoughts from his shock.

“She’s what?!”

“She started having contractions just after you left- I was going to come for you but there wasn’t time! She’s not in any state to move!!” “She’s a primary target staying here, fool!” Saizo snapped at him, coming to your side and taking you into his arms, “We have to get her out of here before it’s too late!”

“S-Saizo, it’s already too- ugh!!” He instantly had eyes on you the second you cried out, feeling your fingers dig into him as another wave of pain hit. Dread filled him faster when he realized this was serious.

You weren’t going anywhere. You physically couldn’t.

For once, Saizo was powerless.

“What do we do?” Saizo finally asked, looking up at the butler with a reluctant compliance.

“Get her to the bed and remove all the blankets. Flora and Felicia- we’ll need them to help with the delivery! Can you find them?”

“I can.” Saizo grunted, lying you down as if you were made of glass.

Gods damn him.

“Hurry- I’ll take care of her until you return. Go, quickly!” Jakob told him, and with that your husband was out the door, leaping into action.

There were hundreds of soldiers that were flooding into the Castle, despite the best efforts of the royals and the Hoshidan army to keep them back. He swallowed a lump in his throat, forcing the panic back to keep from being completely overwhelmed.

He couldn’t be weak at a time like this. He had to keep it together and fight his way back to you so that you could at least make it through the delivery safely.

He slashed his way through the enemy lines, clearing the path for Felicia and Flora so they could hurry to your aid. He blazed ahead, covering the girls’ backs to prevent the enemy from taking them down.

He was breathing heavily by the time it was done, and he wasn’t sure what had him so out of sorts. It was normal for him to take on entire battalions on his own; he had to protect Ryoma, after all. 

Yet there he was, barely keeping it together as he tried to protect his own wife.

Ah. That’s what was different.

He was panicking over your safety.

Saizo cursed to himself, clearing as much of the field as he could before he pushed it back far enough to let others take over. 

Kaze jumped in without a word, nodding to his brother. He knew what was going on.

He knew where Saizo needed to be.

The red-haired ninja leapt away from the battle and returned up the tree, panting as he tugged his mask away and re-entered the bedroom.

The scene had devolved from panic to utter chaos in the span of an hour.

Saizo stared as the two maids scurried about the room, Felicia at the foot of the bed while Flora prepared cold water and Jakob remained beside you, grasping your hand tightly as you rode out contractions.

You were crying out, practically wailing in pain as another one hit. Everyone was talking loudly and Saizo couldn’t focus on any of it.

“Saizo, come here!!” Jakob called to him, “Take her hand while she tries to deliver- I need to check on the dilation-”

“S-she’s getting close, Jakob! We n-need another healer!”

‘We don’t have time for that! No one can help until this battle is finished. They can’t afford to lose anyone!!” Jakob exclaimed in a flurry. Saizo came to your side, sitting beside you and wrapping his arm around you, giving you his trembling hand to hold.

“Corrin- are...a-are you all right?” He asked you with a choked voice, barely able to form a sentence of his own. 

He grimaced when you squeezed his hand particularly hard, another contraction hitting as you slammed your head back into the pillows.

“It h-hurts so...so bad, Saizo...I don’t w-want to do this…!” You whimpered, tears streaming down your face, intermingled with sweat.

He nodded silently, the guilt overtaking his adrenaline for a split second.

“I know, Corrin. I’m sorry. I-I’m so sorry. Just hold on. It’ll be over before-

“Aaah!!”

He jolted when the window shattered across the room, a stray arrow flying through and lodging into the ceiling.

Saizo jumped from your side, anxiety back full force.

“They’re closing in again?!” He swore, “What are they doing, down there?!”

“They need you!” Jakob told him, knowing you needed him just as badly. “They’re already short handed without us- but we can’t abandon Lady Corrin!”

Saizo clenched his hands into tight fists, trying not to scream. He needed to be with you. But he needed to protect you. You needed him.

“Saizo…S-Saizo...!” You groaned, breathing heavy as you reached out, searching for his hand. He returned silently, taking it with a tight squeeze.

“Corrin, I have to go. They’re close.” He told you quietly, brushing back the hair from your face. You cracked an eye open to look at him, begging him to stay. “I’m sorry.”

“J-just...hurry...b-back, okay?” You whispered weakly, making his heart twinge with guilt. He nodded, kissing your forehead before he drew the mask up.

“I’ll be back.”

Saizo intended to make good on that promise. He jumped from the treehouse and found himself surrounded. 

They wanted the throne room, and they were going to destroy whatever they had to in order to get there.

His knives were driven in before they knew what hit them.

They weren’t going any further. Dozens cried out when they saw the blazing ninja blast through lines of men, setting fire to anything in his path.

He would protect you. He would protect his family.

“Saizo!! You’re here!!” He heard Ryoma’s relieved exclamation a few meters away, “Where’s Corrin? Is she all right?”

“She’s in her room-” Saizo informed him, cutting away more men before he united with his liege. “I tried to move her, but we can’t.”

“What?! She’s in the middle of the battlefield!”

“She went into labor before the invasion- it’s too late to move her, now!”

“No! She’s really-?!” He stared at Saizo in shock, driving his blade through another. “Gods, damn this- why now?!”

“It’s out of our control, but these bastards aren’t getting any closer.” “Agreed.” Ryoma glowered, “We’ll take care of this before they have a chance to go near her!”

Saizo had never been more proud to be Ryoma’s retainer than that moment.

They tore through the invaders without any semblance of mercy, gathering together as they thinned their numbers.

It wasn’t long before they had been overwhelmed, those who hadn’t been felled retreating back in a panic. Saizo hit the ground as soon as it ended, utterly drained.

He had used every ounce of strength to keep the enemy at bay, and poured all his anxiety and protectiveness into keeping you safe.

The relief he had felt at the end of the battle was almost immediately evaporated when you crossed his mind, again.

He jumped up from the ground before the healers even got to the man, stumbling into a run as he hurried back to your room. 

He hadn’t seen anyone come close to your quarters, yet he was so worried you hadn’t made it. He pulled himself up and practically fell through the door, dropping his weapons.

“Corrin, are you-?!”

“There he is.”

Saizo paused at the notably calmer tone of voice you held, finding Felicia and Jakob leaning against each other on the floor, looking exactly like Saizo had mere moments ago.

It was Flora who smiled, wiping her hands with a towel before she passed one to him. “You ought to clean up. Your son’s waiting to meet you.”

“My…?” Words died in his throat, looking past the maid to find you lying in bed, clean blankets drawn, and a bundle in you arms.

His heart skipped a beat.

“Y-you...?” He asked in naught but a whisper, pulling the mask away and tugging off his armor. You beamed at him and nodded, nudging your finger into the little bundle. He perked at the soft squeak he heard.

“I...was just telling him about how Papa kept him safe.” You replied, gesturing for him to go to your side.

Saizo wiped down so quickly he was bloody and sweaty in one second, and perfectly clean the next. You couldn’t help but giggle when he rushed over to you.

His expression was that of sheer awe when he peered into the blankets. Sure enough, that was his little baby boy in the blankets. That was his son.

“You’re really...here.” He murmured, running his hand over the blankets. His hand stopped at the baby’s face, lightly grazing the soft, pink skin.

He had never been more proud than in that moment. 

Maybe it was the exhaustion that had him emotional. He drew you into his arms, kissing your cheek and forehead and anywhere else that he could reach.

“S-Saizo, you’re--” You laughed as he showered you in affection, his hand covering yours where it held his son.

“I’m happy. I’m so...glad that you’re all right. That you gave me this little one. Saizo the Sixth...hah, he’s really here…” “I wouldn’t have made it if you weren’t there.” You leaned into his chest as he came onto the bed. “You kept us safe.” “I did what I could. I wish I could’ve got you somewhere safer. When that arrow came, I thought...I was too late to drive them back.”

“But you didn’t let anything happen to us.” You mused, gently settling the baby in Saizo’s open arm. He gasped softly, gripping the bundle tight and secure so that he wouldn’t disturb his son’s rest.

“I wasn’t going to allow it. Not when this little fellow needed us.” He added with a warm grin, “He’s already got the Saizo hair…” “He certainly does. I’ll bet he’ll take after you in many ways.” You added, settling against his chest and nudging your finger into the newborn’s tiny hand.

His heart warmed, watching his son grip you tightly, squeaking and mumbling in his sleep. What a precious child you gave him. His precious family.

He would always protect you...no matter what.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Love Cuts Deep

Chapter 1- She Ran With Wolves

Bucky Barnes x powered (f)reader Series Re-write (Civil War, Infinity War/Endgame, TFATWS)

Summary: You’re a survivor, always have been and always will be. After narrowly escaping the clutches of Hydra years ago, you’ve been keeping to the shadows for as long as time allows. With Hydra suddenly exposed and your secrets in the open, you’re on the hunt for the last part of your past, but is he ready to see you again?

Warning: angst, talk of violence, some fluff mixed in (a little); way more to come

Masterlist

Side note- This is a TFATWS Series Re-write!!! Obviously lol, anyways. Readers powers are heavily inspired by a certain Marvel badass and I just thought her powers would work so well for this. Also they’re cool as fuck.

September, 15th 2013

Location: S.H.I.E.L.D Headquarters, Washington D.C.

This recent project Fury had sent her on was beginning to make itself quit the annoyance for Natasha this past of couple weeks, granted he always gave her the toughest assignments, understanding that no one else can dig up as much dirt as the Black Widow can.

But this? This was different, the target in question was practically a ghost, a legend among the ones lucky, or possibly unlucky enough to have been made aware of this dangerous individual. But no matter how much she asked around from her various secretive resources on the problem in question, this mystery person was simply just rumor to them. Or perhaps too much of a sour subject to seek into any further. Although one thing was always prevalent, people were scared.

But why?

The assassin leans back in her chair, a thoughtful expression crossing over her features as she stares bitterly down at the top secret file gifted to her by Fury himself. Suddenly a door closes, she shuts the file in an instant, only to be greeted with the apologetic face of Steve as he walks past her.

“Sorry. Fury told me you would be in here.” Begins Steve as he takes the nearby couch, something small and metal in his right hand, “Said you were assigned some impossible case. How’s it going so far?”

Letting out a jaded sigh, she shifts her gaze over to the window, “The absolute vagueness of this person is....frustrating to say the least. All I’ve been able to gather is that they’ve been part of some top secret experimentation on pregnant women. Somehow they’re involved with it....I just, gotta figure out how.” She adds with a conflicted expression dancing across her features.

Steve hums in thought, “Sounds complicated.”

“You have no idea.” Mutters Natasha unenthusiastically as her green irises shift back down to the annoying little file.

Steve palms the object in his hand before gaining his friends attention once again, “Here. Fury told me to give this to you.” Her brows furrow in thought as she reaches over and quickly accepts the strange hard drive looking object, “I think this will help. It has the location of the target and who they are. That’s it.....Well, the last reported location.”

“How did he?” She wonders aloud, face suddenly breaking out into an irked grin, “Fury you son of a bitch, about time I found a legitimate lead.”

——

Sitting on her comfortable apartment couch, Natasha sifts through the various encrypted files from the hard drive that’s currently plugged into her laptop. So far she’s spent about two hours breaking through the various encrypted file blockers and now at long last has finally made some real progress.

Studying the brightly glowing screen, she moves her finger, clicking another coded link that reads -V13X11- she’s immediately greeted with a black screen and the slightly blurred picture of a woman’s face who’s looking rather stoic and fearless against the camera flash. Her eyes are set and hard as stone, dark and almost angry behind lips that show the ghost of a forced smile. She’s noticeably an overall attractive woman, in kind of a terrifying and intimidating sort of way, like looking at a fierce lioness standing valiantly against a foe; nonetheless she stares defiantly at the person behind the camera. 

Her eye color, weight, date of birth, and presumably patient number, that's printed in big bold letters 00X13 on the glowing screen, right below her squared portrait. Furrowing her brows, Natasha scrolls down to see about a paragraph long of personal information given about the woman. Including, to the red heads tremendous surprise, a birth name, Y/N Valerious.

Oddly enough, the name indeed sounds a tad bit familiar, though she can’t quit place from where.

The file states that she was raised in a facility on the outskirts of Surinda, Russia; someplace in Siberia, close to the heart of the mammoth country. Trained by the organization Hydra and summitted into inhuman experimentation by the specific facility that held her, however the rest is all encrypted and impossible to translate into something comprehensible much to Natasha’s utter disappointment. 

Huffing in frustration, she slips out the hard drive before shutting down her laptop and slamming it shut. The room is darker by now with the sun gone, and tomorrow it appears that Natasha will be off to Sweden to confront this woman, Y/N, in hopes of gathering valuable intel into the people who created her, and any important information regarding her troubled past. 

If she’s willing to comply.

——

Closing your laptop, you stand and wander over to the opened window to stretch before taking a deep breath of freshly brisk winter air. The land here in Uppsala, Sweden is more beautiful and peaceful then you could have ever imagined since renting an apartment two months ago. In fact, this is probably the longest you’ve ever stayed in one spot since abandoning the life of an assassin many years ago.

Though you know it won’t be much longer until you leave again, but you can’t just yet, there happens to be a certain agent on her way to find you. Fury unknowingly received your encrypted hard drive with opened arms, foolishly under the impression it was sent from an old friend when he reached out for answers into your complicated history. Then when the Black Widow eventually clicked open your link, bam, you could see everything she was nosily sifting through. Everything you wanted her to see. You honestly wouldn’t be surprised if something dramatic happened to the people over in D.C. at this point, idiots, all of them.

For the past couple years S.H.I.E.L.D has become sort of a troubling snooping nuisance for you, constantly delving their way into your relatively uneventful lifestyle every couple of months, meddling around to figure out if you’re still currently active for Hydra and if not, are you willing to pay for your crimes or to join them like she did. Definitely not on your to do list any time soon.

Watching as a small black bird zips by, you quickly shut your window and close the dark colored curtains to block yourself from the rest of the chaotic world. Hastily making your usual rounds about the apartment to be absolutely certain all the possible openings are locked. Soon after you head for bed, ready to face the ex-assassin whenever she arrives in the following days ahead.

-

Seated at your kitchen table, you casually sip at your steaming hot tea while watching security footage from downstairs from when you hacked into their system, the same night you began renting the place. As expected, the notorious red head slips her way into the building and up the four flights of stairs until finally a light knock is heard at your old wooden door.

So she wants to do this cleanly.

Switching off the device, you stuff it in a nearby drawer before calmly walking down the tiny hallway over to the frontdoor and opening it, lock off and all. Her green eyes blink in curious surprise as you show her no indications of aggression; she’s about your height if not maybe slightly smaller, thick scarf and a winters coat about her person as she holds a normal sized black bag in her right hand. No doubt a gun concealed somewhere close, a light precaution in case things go south from here.

Trailing your wary gaze from her travel bag to her pale face, you raise an intrigued brow, “I assume you’re here for me?” You ask with the tinge of a confident Eastern European accent as she slowly nods, eyes calculated and calm as she studies your mellow yet slightly defensive stance.

Pursing plush lips together, she casually shrugs with a light hearted smile, “I only realized you must have sent that hard drive when I arrived in London...”

“Well I’ve gotten rather bored running away from your persistent bastards over in America.” You interrupt before opening up your door even wider, gifting her an open invitation instead of a fight, “Come in. I assume we have much to discuss.”

Following you to the table, she sets her bag on the closest chair as you take another sip from your tea. Cautious eyes trained on her every move as she shifts a bit uncomfortably in her chair, “So, I assume you’re not here to sell me that pretty bag of yours. Not that I’d want it.”

She smirks at your blunt sarcasm, pleased to know you’ve at least got a sense of humor after all you’ve endured, “No. I’m here to learn about who created you and if there are any more. Y/N, I’m well aware of how dangerous you truly are...but given the fact that you’ve had time to adjust, and let me into your home willingly. I came seeking answers. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Folding your hands together, you tilt your head at her thoughtfully, “Well that’s good. I didn’t really want killing the Black Widow on my conscience, though I’d speculate a few would be relieved.” You quip with a playful smirk before your face turns serious again, “I’ll tell you about the fuckers who made me. Then you leave and never bother me again. Understood?” You add in almost a growl.

Handing you a polite smile, she nods in agreement, “Of course. You have my word.” You take another sip of your tea as she reaches into her bag, a beige file suddenly plants itself atop your kitchen table. “This is the only surviving file on you. It’s enough, but there’s too many cracks that need to be filled. I need to know how they conducted the experiments and who else survived them. This is important for the safety of S.H.I.E.L.D and the rest of the world. Y/N, we’re trying to make sure something like this can never happen again. And well, any secrets on Hydra always helps.”

Setting your cup down, you smirk, “This should be filled with liquor if I’m going to be spilling some top secret Hydra business of this velocity.” You muse, setting aside your mug, your face quickly shifts to a more serious expression. “For starters this isn’t a very heartwarming story.”

“Neither is mine.” Begrudgingly admits the ex-assassin.

“Well, at least we have something in common then, Black Widow.” You assert with a pointed look before leaning back against the barred wood of your chair, thinking of where to start first. Your eyes trail over to the window as you begin your story, “This place, where they kept us. The scientists working for Hydra wanted to test out special DNA altering serums on the embryos of willing participants. Well, we weren’t willing....but they targeted the poor, feigning a program that would pay these mothers-to-be thousands if they participated. Plus a comfortable place to stay for awhile.” You reveal before taking another sip of your tea, “You see, I’m not originally from Russia, my home was some nameless village in Eastern Europe that I’ve forgotten the name of by now, it was so long ago. But anyways, I guess fate has a funny way of administering it’s business to the ones seeking safety in times of struggle. So my mother...” You take another sip of your tea to help clear your throat and head a little bit, God you hate talking about this.

Setting it down again, you continue, “Mine accepted. They took her and twenty-two others to this facility deep in the woods. This place was practically a paradise for them...” You chuckle miserably, “soon enough the scientists pumped them full of drugs and began their altering of the embryos DNA, genetic codes, and whatever else they saw fit to mess with. Nine months later we came into this world kicking and screaming.”

“Shit.” Mutters Natasha in astonishment, fully engrossed in your story as she starts to realize maybe her upbringing wasn’t as fucked as yours.

“They monitored us for the first few months, waiting to see if anyone acted strange....nothing, to their utter disappointment. Soon they drew blood samples and as it turned out, we all had altered DNA from the serum. Just as they’d planned.”

Her brows furrow in puzzlement before she asks, “How’d you get your powers then? I don’t think I missed anything.” Insists your guest questionably as you shake your head.

“You didn’t. But you have to understand that as we grew older, all of us basically became tiny super soldiers as fucked as that is, not only did they change our genetic code for meddling with later on when we got older. But this serum was so well developed that it completely fused with the fetuses genetic code, only causing us to grow stronger as we aged from toddlers to three-year-old's and up. Testing even revealed that it slowed down our ageing process just like with Captain America. But it wouldn’t be effective till we reached our mid to late twenties.”

Natasha takes a moment to process your words before she nods in acknowledgment, “Y/N. It’s my understanding that this is a buried secret from the organization for good reason, it’s just....what year did this all take place? It’s not in any of the records I was able to dig up, not even in yours, nothing except for your date of birth.” States Natasha curiously, stopping you before you speak of anything else.

Nodding you lean your arms against the wooden table, leaning in a bit closer now, “1953, after World War ll when people where still recovering from the heavy aftermath while the Cold War was still raging on when well, you know.” Giving her a lopsided shrug, you glance from an old faded picture on the wall then back to her, “Lets just say Russia wasn’t exactly having a stellar time, nor was my mother for that matter.” You Conclude before aimlessly pursuing your lips together, “Which yes, makes me at around 60 years old. Don’t I look pretty.” You add, voice dripping in sarcasm.

Natasha’s eyes concede silent astonishment as she blinks back surprise, “Even after all these years doing what I do, meeting the people that I have. I’m still left speechless every once in awhile. Y/N I can’t even imagine what you’ve seen.” Reveals the red head honestly as her green irises flicker from your file then back up to you, a conflicted expression dancing across her features, “How did they...how did you gain your powers, aside from what the serum gave you in the process?”

An apprehensive sigh escapes freely from your lips while you lean back into the creaky old chair, a troubled look darkening your features as you avoid her intrigued gaze, “They waited until we were twelve before testing us....in the meantime we lived as normal children; learning, playing, and training to survive. You know, the typical stuff.” You add with a small breathy laugh, though no humor finds your eyes, “We had our mothers until a year before they began the experiments. But it wasn’t that terrible of a loss since they trained us to adapt to our environment and never fully depend on anyone but ourselves.....it’s sick. And I’m not even sure what they did to them, I guess I never will.”

She nods as you make a disgusted face, an acidic hatred rising in your chest at the thought of your childhood, “I’m sorry, I can’t even imagine how traumatic that must have been.”

“Oh believe me, it gets better.” You joke bitterly, “In pairs of two they tested us, putting us into rooms where two doctors would strap us down and stick a needle into our skin. After that, they waited until something dramatic happened. Oh, and it sure as fuck did.” You conclude with a sneer.

Biting her lip anxiously, Natasha asks anyway, “How many survivors?”

Scoffing, you shake your head in revulsion for what those doctors did to everyone, an angry expression soon crossing your features, “One.” You sourly mutter, “All my other friends died of the new serum they gave us, either right then and there on the table, or in the following days. You see, it was supposed to blend with our altered DNA to create something powerful out of it, something beyond humans normal capabilities. It just ended up horribly mutating everyone except for me.” You whisper, clear sadness and hatred coating your very words.

Your eyes stare sharply at the peeling table top paint, a frown on your lips as you take in a deep breath before continuing, “What they did to me....no one should have to go through something so goddamn agonizing, I was only a child, just a little girl in a terrible place whether I knew it or not....and you know how it affected me?” She slowly shakes her head no as you smile miserably, your brows furrowed in pain, “I was gifted with bone claws that retracted out of my knuckles and one from each of my feet.” You confirm, eyes suddenly darkening in fury, “And you know what those goddamn bastards did to me afterwards? Like I hadn’t suffered enough from the pain of it all, they pumped me full of liquid Adamantium. Turning my claws to solid metal, the fucking strongest material on earth. Right in the body of an eleven year old child!” You shout furiously as she flinches back at your outburst, blinking hard, you let out a heavy breath before leaning back into your chair in defeat.

Calm down, Y/N. It’s just a memory now.

Strong brows dent her clear skin in thought as you await a response, after a few long moments does she soon gather her racing mind, lacing her fingers together she raises a brow at you, “That doesn’t explain how you’ve survived so long. The years working for Hydra, they turned you into a weapon....yet you’ve escaped and haven’t been killed yet. Not even a scratch to be found.....well, at least that I can see.”

Turning to face the puzzled assassin, you give her a lopsided grin, your chill composure coming back to you quickly enough, “I didn’t just get claws from the enhanced serum that fucked with my genetic make-up, it completely heightened my humanly abilities. Suddenly I was stronger, faster, and all my senses felt like they were on overload. Best of it all, I came to realize I had accelerated healing capabilities. Who would have thought that their shitty inhuman experiments would have gone so horrendously, yet with the one miracle of an exception. Me.”

“I had figured that branch of Hydra was meddling on dangerous ground, I hadn’t realized the extent of what they were doing. Did they try making any more like you?” She wonders.

“I was the last. Since I was the only compatible vessel, they didn’t want to waste anymore time or money on others who could possibly fail.” You explain with a shrug, “I became one of their most treasured assets.”

Pursing her lips together, she gives a slight nod before revealing a different file from her bag, you watch as she pauses for a moment before opening it up, you quickly take notice of the many white papers pinned together. Some with encrypted symbols and words while others are in plain English. Your brows furrow as she flips the first page to reveal...

“I know I came asking for answers about classified information, but this won’t be a complete mission if I don’t ask you about your time with Hydra.” Proposes the red head cautiously while she studies your face for any hostile reactions, not getting anything but skepticism, she continues, “I understand you were very important to them. It’s recorded you’ve completed about three dozen kills over an active period of about thirty-seven years.”

You scoff before muttering, “So it would seem. They gave me my first mission in 1971...when I was 17.”

“Right, but that’s not exactly what I’m seeking.” Her eyes immediately trail down to the files, “I assume you must have seen this man at least once...” She flips another page over and pulls out a playing card sized photograph, she turns it around and slides it closer to you. Instantly you recognize who he is, but how did she?..

“I haven’t seen him in years, nor heard of him for that matter.” You mutter, though your tone shifts to a more aggravated one.

Noticing this difference, Natasha continues, “That’s the look of someone who has met him for less then friendly reasons. What happened to the Winter Soldier?” You take a long moment to study his stoic face of icy blue and white, and black; its when he was in the Cryostacis chamber, the place where they would freeze him to keep their Winter Soldier locked away until he was needed for a new mission. All that you can fully witness is his sleeping face, though you know exactly what he looks like up close and with no ice crystals in his dark hair.

Letting out a heavy sigh, you slide the photograph back over to her folder, “I met him when I was 25 in 1979, Hydra needed us for a duel mission somewhere in South Africa, they needed their best. We were tasked with locating and stealing some precious metal which we later learned was Vibranium, because apparently they had used the last of the Adamantium on me.” You reveal with a casual shrug, “It went relatively well as expected...and well, we worked with each other many times after that, until I escaped and he was sent to kill me in 2009.”

“You knew him for almost twenty-nine years. Do you know where he might be now?”

Scoffing, you almost laugh, “Even if I did, you’d never get him. But if I’d have to assume, he’s probably frozen in some cryo tank somewhere in the middle of Russia. Waiting to be let loose again so he can take out a new enemy of the state.”

“Right.” Nods the Black Widow as she closes up her files, her green irises quickly on you again, “Thank you for your time, and for the heavy material you spoke of.”

“It was a long time ago, someone else should remember what those fuckers did to innocent mothers and their children. No one in this entire world knows except for me, you, and the doctors I haven’t killed yet.” You growl with venom lacing your every word.

Soon you watch as she swiftly rises to her feet, as you do the same, “I wish you well then.” Affirms the Black Widow as you follow her lead to the door, she stands on the other side for a moment before asking, “Is there any way I could find you again?”

Leaning against the door frame, you break out into a knowing smirk as she stands waiting expectantly, “If you’re lucky, you’ll never see me again. Goodbye agent Romanoff.” And with that do you gently close the door, leaving her in the hallway with a plethora of useful information, but still nothing significantly useful on the Winter Soldier, now only time will tell if he ever happens to show up on her radar again. Hopefully not, she thinks doubtfully before turning on her heels and sauntering off down the hallway.

——

Almost two whole years had passed since last you’ve spoken to the assassin, in that time you’ve watched her speak on live television when Hydra had finally been exposed to the world and all their secrets let loose for the prying hungry eyes of the public.

Even some of your own information had been leaked, the world knew who you were now, what atrocities you’ve committed for the organization during your time with them and that you’ve been M.I.A since 2009. Now you’re on an international watchlist. Fantastic. Apparently some very important leaders of the world and other prestige family members alike aren’t very fond of yourself for murdering their adversaries or filthy rich husbands. 

But it’s not like you had a choice, Hydra would always alter your memories when they shocked you into forgetting who you even were; thus you’d complete a mission and a couple days or so later would your mind stitch itself back together again the best it could from the electrical trauma. Only the killing part would be a dark and fuzzy memory, thus revealing itself to you in bits and pieces at a time. Soon everything blurred together and you just complied or face getting electrocuted multiple times a session, until your eyes remained empty and dangerous.

Considering you’ve been on the run since that information was released, in this time, you’ve tracked down past agents and doctors alike who had wronged you, considering you now had full access to their recent history. Hence increasing your body count as you went from one country to the next, making the world a tad bit lighter with their darkness whipped from existence.

Although soon enough you became unsettled with the loads of information expunged from Hydra, your mind inevitably making a one eighty back to a certain broody super soldier from your complicated past. He must be in the world somewhere, living as a secret civilian or whatnot. He has to be. And you’ve decided to find him before someone else does.

Maybe it was curiosity, or the fact that he was like you and shared a bloody history with Hydra, but your instinctual drive to find the Winter Soldier eventually drew you the beautiful city of Bucharest, Romania. Although he didn’t make finding him effortless in the slightest, after endless days hacking into network databases looking for even a snippet of information. You found a lead.

Turns out airport security footage is very useful, even more so, footage from around the city’s grant center; and from there you were able to track him to Romania. Eventually after a couple of days in the city, you were able to catch a glimpse of him at the local market place and thus followed him to his little shitty apartment without him as so much as noticing.

Once he left again, you slipped inside and began your wait for his eventual return. But will he even want to speak with you? Does he even remember you? Your memories hadn’t been continuously whipped like his were, granted you were forced into cryo more then once and electroshocked into forgetting your memories. It eventfully stopped once they realized your mind would just heal itself into remembering again, so instead they threatened you with a tracking device deep into your skin tissue that would blow up if you tried to run.

Clearly you eventually found a way around this, as terrible of a memory it gave you.

——

Looking out the window, your ears suddenly pick up the sound of boots stealthily walking down the hallway, they’re incredibly light against the tiles outside, perhaps he somehow knows you’ve been following him. A moment later the scent of a man fills your nostrils and you know he’s inside the apartment. You could barely hear the door.

He’s silent as a mouse, nothing indicating he’s even there except for his rapidly thudding heartbeat that pounds anxiously against his strong chest; you slowly turn to face him. His hat from earlier is gone, dark blue eyes stare warily on you while soft breaths emit from his slightly parted lips. He’s not afraid, but he is nervous.

Folding your arms over your chest, you take a glance around the room, “Nice place.” You confirm casually, eyes back on the Winter Soldier in a second as the corner of your lips pull into a humored half grin, “I’m not here to complete some personal Vendetta against you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Then why are you here?” His voice is more curious then cold, maybe he can be reasoned with after all.

Taking a step forward, you shrug, “Wanted to make sure you aren’t still on their side.”

He keeps silent for a moment as you watch him watch you, “I’m done with them.” Mutters Bucky, disgust dripping off his words. That’s exactly what you wanted to hear. Progress.

“Good.” You add with the tiniest of smiles before motioning towards his little kitchen table, “Mind if we sit and talk? As, well...I guess civilians now.”

Studying your face for any indication of falseness and hostility, he’s pleasantly surprised when he finds none. Bucky takes off both of his gloves and sits, metal hand shinning in the low lighting. A threat or a precaution? Maybe he just wants it off?

You follow his example, and soon the two of you sit not even three feet away from each other. Both yourself and Bucky hold an awkward silence for a long moment as the tension in the room rises, shifting your gaze from the counter behind him, you don’t really notice as he trails his eyes over your face, “I remember you.” Reveals Bucky to your great surprise, your eyes falling onto him in an instant, “They sent us on missions together, until you left and they woke me up to kill you for it.”

Smiling, you let out a humored breath of air, “Turns out you didn’t miss me after all. I gave you a nice scar for your troubles though, you still have it?”

Bucky purses his lips into the tiniest of shadowy grins, although no real joy is shown, “It’s a thin little line across my left rib cage. Just barely reached my bone.” Yeah, and I would have if you didn’t punch me in the eye socket first, you think to yourself from when the Winter Soldier had tracked you down. But that’s a long story.

“Glad it’s healed and they didn’t have you come after me a second time. I don’t think I would have let you live again.”

He thinks hard for a second as he processes your words, “You let me live? The first time?”

“Well,” You serenely admit, “I couldn’t exactly kill you...I guess, well....I don’t really know why I didn’t kill you when I had the chance. Guess I’m not as ruthless as Hydra wanted.” You mumble with a conflicted frown, the two of you keep silent before you break the odd tension, “Doesn’t matter now. I heard about what happened in D.C. just like the rest of the world. Gotta say, I was wondering what everyone over there had been getting themselves into.”

“They leaked everything.” Mumbles Bucky with a knowing flash of insight within his dark restless eyes.

“I know.” You add with a slow nod, “I’ve been traveling more cautiously for the past year and a half now. You’d think they’d let us live in peace, of course not. But I guess it means the world knows what a piece of shit organization Hydra is. So that’s something.”

“Yes.” Agrees Bucky, eyes trailing from your fingerless gloves to your face, of course he remembers what hides beneath, “What happened to you since you left?

Fumbling with your fingers as they lay against his table, you turn you head to the window, the ghost of a smile dancing across your lips, “Surviving. You?”

He shifts his gaze back down to his metal hand as you turn to face him, “About the same I’d say.”

Leaning back against your creaky wooden chair, you hand him a small yet friendly smile, “Well then. What of us now? Two ex-assassins alone in the world. With nothing but our wit and fists to keep us afloat.” You add with a low chuckle, he doesn’t crack.

Losing your smile, the two of you keep silent as ghosts for a long moment before Bucky shifts uncomfortably in his seat, “I got some tea.” Replies the admittedly handsome man now since you have a moment to really look; the briefest hint of a grin revealing itself against his lips for only but a flash of a second. But you still see it.

Fumbling with your fingers you give him a pursed lip grin, “I like tea.”

[wonderlandhatter]

Comfort in you.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x femReader

Summary: You have a cuddly secret that is keeping you up at night, and your solution makes Spencer think you are falling out of love. (sorry that's not a great summary)

Word count:2580

Warnings: I don't think there's any, itsy tinny bit of angst if you squint but just a load of fluff

A/N: To be honest I don't know how I feel about this, I like it but idk. if I missed a warning feel free to tell me and if you have any feedback it is very welcome I am looking to improve my writing. Hope someone enjoys this :).

A/N2: My old account got deleted so I'm just reposting my fics I would appreciate if you could bust this so i could get back to where my account was thank you for your time.

Everyone has a source of comfort, something that makes everything bad disappear even for just a moment. For some it was a hobby and for others it was a person, either way everyone had one, yours just happened to be one most people have had but said people have also left it behind, along with wearing dippers and eating crayons.

You weren’t a child; you weren’t you just found comfort in it. So, what if you were in your twenties and still slept with a plushie who's business is it anyways. You can’t help it you just can’t sleep without it; you've had it since the moment you were born, plus your parents never made a move to take it away when you were younger. So here you are now.

It had never really been an issue, yes, your friends teased you but not in a hurtful way besides you had been friends since primary school, so they didn’t really care, as long as you were happy. Now boyfriends are a whole different story. You hadn't had many so it was never really an issue, you have had 3 in total if one of them even counted I mean it lasted until lunch time and you were 5 and  he wouldn’t  have minded since he also slept with a stuffed animal.

Your second boyfriend was in high school, you were sixteen, you hadn’t even thought about the fact he might find it strange so the first time he came over you didn’t try to hide it, it didn’t go well, he called you a baby and threw it around, and got annoyed at you when you asked him to stop because he was going to damage the plushie, the nerve of the guy. Well that did not last awfully long not just because of the plush but because he was a prick.

And now here you were 23 and dating the wonderful Dr Spencer Reid, you guys have been dating for nearly 8 months, and what amazing 8 months have they been. You owned quite a popular bookshop and that is how you met; he had come in a few times before he was able to muster up the courage to even say hello. He found everything about you wonderful, the way you handled books with such care and how you carried yourself with such grace, (the grace one wavers as in his second visit he witnessed you trip twice, but he just he found it endearing and wonderful). Honestly, he already had a bookshop he had frequented previously but this one had something no other shop could ever have. You, and so he kept coming, and you two kept talking, and talking in the shop lead to talking at the coffee shop, which lead to talking over dinner and then talking for 6 months which may have lead to some activities with some inappropriate talking, and now 8 months later and you have never been happier.

Honestly it’s a miracle you’ve made it 8 months without him finding out about your little secret, it helps that you guys hadn’t started having sex until 2 months ago, neither of you had been in a rush and so took your time, and the first time was wonderful, but that’s a story for another time. Another thing that helped was the fact that he was nearly always on a case, he made time for you, and you understood he had to be away and admired his career choice, it just meant that when you were together most of the time you chose to spend time together, saying that there have been times as soon as Hotch has dismissed him he has gone straight to your apartment and is picking you up and too your room, but what can he say, he is just but a man and you are just but a very hot woman. Thankfully that time he had been so preoccupied with getting his clothes off that you were able to put the plush under your bed without him noticing (you did feel bad about shoving  it under the bed but you had no time he was a man on a mission), you hadn’t been able to sleep that night or any night you had stayed with him, so you stopped staying over even if it was just to sleep..

Now the issue came when Spencer got a couple of weeks off from work around the holidays, so you were off too. And oh boy were you tired it wasn’t that you were doing it like bunnies but you did enjoy time together so you wanted to be together for as long as you could, and you were absolutely loving all the stolen kisses and the reading to each other and arguing who the best doctor is (the sex is very good too), the trouble only came at night when he said you should stay, he  hated you being out by yourself at night, too many cases involving creeps, so you would stay.

But after a few days without sleep you were so exhausted, you started making up excuse to not stay and to stop sex, it worked for a few days until it didn’t.

You had been watching some foreign film Spencer had seemed very excited for, you loved watching these with him, not because you understood what they were saying, it was complete gibberish to you, but you quite enjoying feeling his breath on your neck when he leaned down to whisper the translations for you, he knew there were subtitles and you knew there were subtitles but this turned you on and you both knew it. So, it confused Spencer when after the movie was over and after two hours of whispering and you subtly rubbing your thighs together you yawned and said you should get going.

He would never force you into anything, and would never expect sex from you, but he knew you were turned on and he knew you wanted it, he knew what you looked like when you wanted him, he had seen it enough times, and he loved the sight, but here you were clearly frustrated and about to just leave. Don’t misunderstand Spencer here it isn’t just the leaving clearly horny it’s the not having slept in the same bed for days, he knew you had some trouble sleeping any time you had slept over, he just assumed it was being out of your bed, but you almost always went out of your way to not sleep together in your bed. So, he chose to say something.

“Y/N can we talk”, “oh that seems serious” you replied humorously while tying your laces, until you looked  up and saw his face, “you look upset, did I do something”, you said clearly upset,“ No! no you didn’t do anything, well you did but um ahh, I don’t know how to word this”, this was a first, he always had the words to say, normally he couldn’t stop talking, but right know all he was thinking was how his girlfriend couldn’t stand to be on the same bed as him, and how she was doing what she could to avoid sex, he knew he wasn’t overly experienced but neither was she, but he always made sure she was getting some sort of pleasure, and made it his goal to get you to finish at least twice.

What if you had faked it, what if you were falling out of love, was it all the hours he had to work or was…his thoughts were cut short by you “ Spencer please talk to me, what did I do, I’m sorry if I’ve upset you”, he could see the worry in your face and without thinking he just blurted out “do you not like me anymore”, “ What!!!” you said almost immediately, he could see the confusion in your face but you spoke before he could, “Spencer I love you, why wouldn’t I like you anymore, do you not like me anymore”, he saw the hurt in your eyes as your mind wandered and he couldn’t speak fast enough to stop that train he needed to take that hurt away, “no, no god no I love you too, I love you much it’s just that lately you’ve um, you’re always coming up with reasons to not sleep with me, and I don’t mean sex I mean even just sleep, well you’re also avoiding sex but that’s not the point, I also know you never really sleep when you’re with me and I’m sorry if being that intimate with me makes you uncomfortable, because I can see you were turned on after the movie and you were just going to leave and I just need to know if I make you uncomfortable.”, Spencer spoke so fast you were left there stunned and a little embarrassed at him knowing he turned you on but also you were backed into a corner, you could see the pain in his eyes, he though he made you so uncomfortable you couldn’t sleep in the same bed as him, at the thought of how you hurt him your eyes began to water.

“Spencer I don’t know what”, “please don’t deny it Y/N its been over a week since we slept in the same place” Spencer interrupted before you could get your pathetic attempt of n excuse out, so you were going to come clean, he is going to break up with you was the only thing going through your head but you had to tell him, you hurt him and that was worse.

So you mustered up all the courage you had and looked down because you might cry if you looked at him in the eyes, oh well all your courage could only do so much, “you don’t make me uncomfortable Spencer. You’re wonderful that isn’t why”, spencer interrupted before you could continued, he just needed answers,  “then, why?”, “promise me you won’t laugh at me”, he looked confused how could you ever think he would take your feeling for granted and laugh at them, “of course I won’t” he simply said as he gently pulled your chin up with his hand, he could see your you were nervous and so gave you a kind smile, and did something you two do quite often, he offered up his pinkie, you giggled as you put your pinkies together to make a promise, after your pinkies were separated you looked slightly down again and quickly blurted out “Icantsleepwithoutmyplushieandididntwantyoutoseethatistillneededitandthatswhyicantsleepbesideyouandwhyicantsleepwheniamwithyuo” it was so quickly the flash couldn’t have understood, his confused face was honestly adorable but your adoration was cut off by his very confused “what?”, and so you took a deep breath looked at him, thought over your words for a second and finally said much slower, slightly hesitantly and embarrassed  “ I can’t sleep without a plushie,” you said shyly he smiled softly at this and you continued after a beat “that’ s why I can’t sleep when I’m with you, I didn’t want you to know, I mean I’m in my twenties and still sleep with a toy its pathetic, and after a few days of not sleeping I was exhausted and so I  thought I could just avoid having to sleep without it, I understand if you want to break up or if you want to make fun of me”, you stopped talking when Spencer pulled you in for a quick kiss, “sorry you were spiralling and that’s what you do when I’m spiralling”, he smiled while his face was still only a breath away, you simply nodded and made no move to move.

“So you’re not breaking up with me” you asked shyly, assuming since he had just kissed you, “why on earth would I be breaking up with you”, “because its childish and ridiculous that I can’t sleep without it”, he gently smiled and pulled your chin up to look at him with one hand and held your hand with the other. “it isn’t strange or childish, actually 44% of adults still own a childhood toy and 34% of adults sleep with a stuffed animal, its perfectly normal, and honestly really cute” the last bit made you blush but all together you felt better, “thanks bub”, “what for”, you shrugged an simply said for not making fun of you and with that he pulled you into a hug, and neither made an attempt to move.

And so here you were now in Spencer’s car on your way to your apartment, if you were being honest you were too tired to be as embarrassed as you would have normally been, but he wasn’t  shaming you and all you wanted was to sleep by his side. As you got to your apartment complex you walked hand in hand, made your way inside, and went to your room.

Spencer had been there multiple times before so he had some clothes he could sleep in already there (also you may have stolen a good amount so he could borrow those too), so he put some plaid pyjama bottoms on and a graphic tee and made his way to his side of the bed, you had gone to the bathroom to do your skin care routine and came out in some thin cotton pyjama shorts and one of your (his) old Cal tech sweatshirt, he can’t deny he absolutely loves seeing you in his clothes, to him it is possibly one of the most beautiful things he has and will ever see.

You made your way under the covers and cuddled him, you both shared some lazy kisses and light touches before you stopped so you could sleep, you made an attempt to try an sleep without it but Spencer nudged you and gave you a half amused smiled so you sighed dramatically and stretched over to your bedside table were your plushie was living, as you took it out and made your way back to Spencer’s side you held it close so he couldn’t really see it. He wasn’t really having that though.

What he’s curious he wanted to see it, so with a much more amused smile and looking down at his adorable girlfriends he asked “ can I see it”, “no” you answered almost immediately and in more of a grumble against his chest, “please, you look adorable and it looks really soft, can I please see it”, and so without looking up you not so gently pulled it out from nearly fully under you and pushed it to his chest, and hid your face deeper into him. He gently picked it up and inspected it, you didn’t hear him say anything so you looked up and saw him already looking at you with simply love in his eyes, “what?” you asked slightly confused, he simply kissed you and you understood, no words were needed to explain what he felt.

You picked up the toy and hugged it again and Spencer hugged you, you felt safe, you felt loved and overall, you were happy. Maybe Spencer could be your new comfort source, you would never get rid of your plushie but maybe it wouldn’t be a necessity maybe holding him would be enough. But being honest he already was he was enough; he was more than enough. And with that thought you both drifted off exchanging quiet I love yous.

[cacoetheswriting]

congratulations on your 2K achievement!!! I’ve been binging your Spencer Reid fics all week and can I just say you are the QUEEN of Spencer x pining 🥺🥺🥺 if you’re in the mood to write for him could I request 32 & 37 from the angst prompt list?? I’m ready to cry some more😍😍

thank you so so much 💘 and omg i can't believe you’ve been reading all of them ahh!!! also, jsksjksjssksj to be considered a QUEEN of spencer x pining !?!?!? i’m literally speechless and fucking honoured 🥺😩

Pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!Reader Warnings: a tiny tiny bit of fluff, mainly angst, pining, unrequited / unreciprocated love, jealousy, heartbreak, [spoiler] not a happy ending Word Count: 1.2k Prompts: “I love them and they don’t even know I exist.” & “I can’t just delete my feelings because yours aren’t the same.”

A/N: i listened to falling apart by léon on repeat when writing this little blurb, it doesn't necessarily have anything do with the plot but i recommend playing it while reading for extra ✨pain✨

-

“Kid, just go and say hi.” Derek encouraged, his hands landing at the back of his head as he relaxed in his chair.

The sigh that escaped Spencer’s lips was slow, almost as if his brain needed the time to come up with a rebuttal. A good enough reason as to why he shouldn't do the only thing he truly wanted to do.

“What then?” The young doctor questioned, nervously glancing at you from the safety of his own desk. “What do I say after hi?”

Rolling his eyes at the resident genius, Derek chuckled softly. “After you say hi, you make small talk.” He stated calmly, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

Spencer contemplated his best friend’s answer. Small talk. He could do small talk if he really put his mind to it, right? After all, he’s done it many times before whenever the team travelled for cases. Granted, it was usually a one-sided conversation which often left the other person feeling very confused, but it was still small talk.

God, this was hopeless. He was hopeless.

“I love them and they don’t even know I exist.” Spencer mumbled while fumbling with the hem of his sweater, his gaze still very much glued to your perfect frame.

Derek scoffed. “Okay Reid, now you’re just being overly dramatic. They know you exist because we've all been working together for a little over two months now.” He leaned forward before continuing, “But, they’re never going to get to know you, and your amazing personality, if you don't talk to them.”

Spencer’s nose twitched briefly. Sometimes he really hated when Derek was right - which, when it came to advice on his non-existent relationship with you, was more often than the brunette doctor cared to admit.

“Now, go say hi or I’ll do it for you.” Derek threatened with a sly smirk.

It was the mental kick Spencer needed, because he quickly sprung up on his feet and with one last encouraging smile from Morgan, he ambled through the bullpen towards you.

Reflecting on it now, it was both the best and worst decision of Spencer’s life.

Best, because as soon the second he approached you, you asked him to join you for lunch. The two of you talked nonstop for the whole hour. The flow from topic to topic was so natural, Spencer completely forgot what he was so apprehensive about.

Best, because after that afternoon, lunches together became a daily occurrence and it wasn't long before they also evolved to other activities. Even outside office hours.

Best, because the more time Spencer spent with you, the more his love for you grew. Which, coincidentally, was also the reason why he considered it to be the worst decision of his life.

You were spending every waking moment together. Sharing secrets, watching random documentaries, carpooling to work, strolling through museums and art galleries. Now that your friendship blossomed and the two of you fell into a comfortable rhythm around one another, the young doctor couldn't possibly admit just how strongly he felt about you.

Especially since he knew you didn't feel the same way.

“And then, we shared a dessert. Which I know sounds kind of lame, but I don't know Spence, there was just something so electrifying about the moment. I actually think we might see each other again.” You finished, plopping down next to him on the couch.

A part of your friendship the young doctor didn’t really care for was when you’d show up at his door late at night and ramble on about the latest date you had just come back from. Most dates were luckily a complete disasters, and while you complained, Spencer did his best to fight back a satisfied grin.

Most dates. Not all.

Unfortunately for Spencer, this person you were causally seeing now, seemed to be doing quite well.

“So, if you go out again, it will be your fourth date.” The statement came out more jaundiced than the young doctor intended it to, and he was instantly feeling thankful you didn't seem to notice the odd tone of his voice.

You raised an intrigued brow before letting out a melodic chuckle. “Really? Honestly, I wasn't even counting. I guess when it feels natural, it doesn't matter.” You shrugged your shoulders lightly, ready to move onto another topic.

Spencer however, was fixated on your words - “I guess when it feels natural, it doesn't matter.”.

He chewed on the inside of his cheek. The thought of another person giving you what he could only dream to give you made his stomach churn. Jealousy began to stir inside of him. It made the palms of his hands sweat against his jeans. He was suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

“You okay Spence? You look a little pale?” You asked, slowly brining your hand to his forearm. Before you could touch him however, the doctor flinched and jumped to his feet.

“I-I love you, Y/N. I-I... I’m in love with you.” He blurted out, closing his eyes for a split second because he didn’t want to look at you when you said you didn't love him back. He couldn't take that kind of pain.

“Oh, Spencer...”

There was a clear shift in the surrounding energy. No longer free and homey, instead it felt tense as if the slightest movement would shatter the imaginary glass wall currently built between the two of you.

With teary eyes, you stood up and intertwined your fingers with his. The warmth of his touch brought comfort into this heart-rending moment, but was it enough to ensure the two of you would walk out of here still friends?

“I... Spencer, I don’t know what to say.” You breathed with a heavy heart.

“I-I know... Trust me, I know you don't feel the same about me. I just needed to say it because it was eating me alive.” Spencer continued, slowly opening his eyes. When his hazel gaze locked with yours, the butterflies in his stomach erupted all at one before sinking heavily. “I can’t just delete my feelings because yours aren’t the same.” He muttered, a broken look spread across his features.

Lone tears slowly trailed down your cheeks, each droplet representing a different memory you and him shared together. As you silently sobbed, holding onto him with all your might, you searched your mind for the right words. 

Although, deep down you knew nothing could fix this.

After what felt like forever, Spencer freed himself from your grasp. He wiped away his own tears using the sleeve of his sweater and took a singular step back. He averted his gaze, eyes landing on his feet, and you’ve been friends with him long enough to understand what that meant.

Spencer wanted you to leave.

Sniffling, you slowly grabbed your things. You didn't want to argue with him, beg him to let you stay so the two of you could talk this out. You’ve caused him enough pain already.

He met your gaze one last time, just as you opened the door to his apartment. You tried to smile in hopes he would maybe mimic the expression, but the best you could do was purse your lips into a thin line which didn't give either of you much hope for your future.

As you stepped outside the threshold, you felt cold and empty - as if you were leaving a part of you behind. In a way you were. But unknowingly, you were also taking something with you.

Spencer’s broken heart.

-

masterlist

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no​, @calm-and-doctor​, @idroppedmygourd​​, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel, @elldell1204, @hey-there-angels, @reidabookforonce, @willowrose99

[baepsaesbae]

Heal Me, Kill Me Ch.2

Pairing— Kim Taehyung x reader

Genre— Vampire!Taehyung x Vampire Hunter!reader, ANGST, mild smut +18, comedy (i tried), fluff in this chapter

Warnings— Oral (m receiving), good ol making out

Word Count— 7.5k

Summary— You’re one of the best vampire hunters in the world. That’s to be expected when your parents are the best of the best. Your life had solely revolved around ruthlessly killing vampires. You were essentially a cold blooded machine. However, things take a turn once you meet Kim Taehyung, your latest target.

A/N— Huge shoutout to @dee-ehn for this beautiful banner! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, please let me know what you think! Things are starting to get spicy~

You’ve never looked forward to a day of work more than today. Happily making your way to the shop, you found yourself daydreaming about Taehyung. He seemed to be slowly warming up to you throughout the course of yesterday. Maybe he’ll trust you enough to...to what?

Normally you’d automatically kill your targets as soon as you’d earn their trust (but maybe after indulging in some promiscuous activities). But this time around, your mind didn’t go there. You genuinely wanted him to trust you. Why? You had no clue.

You shook the question away. You’ll deal with that problem when you get there. For now, you’ll just take it one step at a time. The first step is officially gaining Taehyung’s trust. 

Humming as you unlocked the front door, you’re unaware of the clouds looming overhead. You prep the store for customers (which you rarely get). The stack of orders had been cut in half thanks to Taehyung’s help. Maybe you could get through all of them together by the end of the day.

Yoongi was right. This alibi was a lot easier and surprisingly, a lot more fun to use. It was more freeing. It gave you the illusion of a normal life. 

  The door chimed.

“Welcome in!” you greeted.

“Good morning, ___,” Taehyung returned your greeting.

“Taehyung! You came!” you beamed.

“I said I would. I always keep my word,” a small smile cracked onto Taehyung’s usually stoic face.

“You think we can finish all of these today?” you waved the orders in his face.

“If you don’t slow me down, definitely,” Taehyung nodded.

“Excuse me? How dare you!” you feigned being upset.

“Oh, I was trying to joke with you. Did I upset you?” Taehyung’s smile disappeared, his eyebrows furrowing with concern.

“Oh my gosh, I know! I was playing along with you, silly boy,” you laughed. 

“Ah, now I’m embarrassed. Truth be told, I don’t get out much. I’m sure you can tell,” Taehyung took the orders from you.

“Honestly, me too. I don’t have any friends,” you confessed.

Why was it so easy to talk to Taehyung? Never in a million years would you divulge any personal details, and yet here you were. 

“Really?” Taehyung seemed surprised, “You seem like the type of person to befriend anything that breathes.”

“Are you teasing me again?” you asked as you gathered the flowers for the first bouquet of the day.

“No, I meant it as a compliment. After all, you managed to get me out of my house. That’s an impressive feat,” Taehyung took the flowers from you. 

“Is it? I wouldn’t know. Because apparently I ‘don’t know you’. But thanks, I guess?” you watched him expertly arrange the flowers in a decadent vase.

“Let’s change that then. Let’s see how much we can learn about each other in one day,” Taehyung stopped what he’s doing to look at you. 

There it goes. Your heart skips a beat again. The kindness in his eyes did something to you that you couldn’t explain. You know you have to lie. Everything you tell him has to be a lie. You knew that. And yet.

“Sure, let’s do it. I’ll start. I’m a dog person. I love dogs!” you smiled. 

Ok, that’s not a lie, but it’s also not important. No harm done. 

“Me too! Ok, off to a good start. What’s your favorite breed?” Taehyung asked excitedly.

That was the start of a never ending conversation. You haven’t had a genuine conversation in ages. Granted, it was all surface level topics, but that didn’t make it any less special. Time flew by as each bouquet was completed. It was nightfall before you knew it.

“We did it!” you exclaimed.

All of the orders had been completed. Once again, vases were scattered all around the shop. You sank down and sat against the counter. It had been a long day. 

Taehyung followed suit, sinking down beside you. He was only a few inches away, yet part of you wished he had sat closer.

“Indeed. And we did it together,” Taehyung smiled at you. 

“Thanks, Taehyung,” you extend your hand towards him.

Taehyung formally shakes it. You sat in silence for a few moments.

“I guess you don’t need me to come by anymore, huh? Now that all of the orders have been completed?” Taehyung asked quietly.

“You’re always welcome here,” you paused for a brief moment, “Hey, how well do you think we know each other now?” you scoot closer to him.

“I’d say that you probably know me better than anyone else by now. No one else knows that I tried to play the saxophone. Thank god, I was terrible at it,” he chuckled, also scooting closer to you. 

“I’ll carry that to my grave, I swear. No one else knows that I love kpop. And it better stay that way,” you playfully glared at him.

“I wouldn’t dare do anything to anger you. I don’t think I’d be able to handle your bad side,” Taehyung patted your head.

His soft gesture made you smile. He was so close to you, your knees were practically touching. You lean closer to him. He leans in ever so slowly. Instead of meeting you in the middle, he gently kisses your forehead. His cold lips left a lasting impression. 

“You’re too sweet, ___. I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered.

“Why would you hurt me?” you looked at him with doe eyes.

“I can’t really explain. I just...don’t want to see you get hurt,” he stroked your cheek. 

“I don’t think anyone can hurt me while you’re around,” you replied. 

That was a beautiful answer, one that would make any vampire fall prey to your fake innocence. Usually, you’d say anything to make them fall for your clutches. This time, you even had yourself falling for your own lie. You felt safe next to Taehyung, as if you were meant to be by his side.

“Well then, ___, if you’re so sure about that,” he said as he stood up, “Will you go on a date with me?” 

“I would be a fool to say no,” you answered as he helped you up.

You loaded up the cart with the last of the bouquet orders. It was a joyful walk to and from the post office. The night sky was speckled with stars. The air was fresh and crisp. You found yourself skipping alongside Taehyung as he effortlessly pulled the heavy cart.

“May I pick you up for our date tomorrow?” he asked, as you both stood in front of the flower shop. 

“Tomorrow? We’re moving pretty quickly,” you observed.

“I’m sorry, am I being too forward? I can wait, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Taehyung took your hand.

“No! You’re fine, Taehyung. You’re such a sweetheart. I’m joking, silly. Yes, tomorrow is perfect. It’s supposed to still be all rainy and gross right?” you laced your fingers between his.

“Yes, it’s like that practically year round here. That’s why I like this place. Can I have your address?” 

“Of course, I can text it to you.”

“I don’t have a phone.”

“Dude, what? It’s the 21st century.”

“I don’t like technology. I suppose you can call me old fashioned.”

“You must be. Old man,” you chuckled as you wrote down your address on a piece of paper. 

“I’m not that old,” Taehyung said defensively.

“Oh, c’mon. I guess a couple hundred years isn’t that old,” you say. 

“W-what?” Taehyung’s eyes widened.

“Joking! Taehyung, you’re too uptight,” you playfully nudged him. 

“Ah, aha ha yes. Good one,” Taehyung forced a nervous laugh. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight!” you say.

“Goodnight, ___. I’ll see you on the morrow,” Taehyung bowed. 

You’re still ecstatic by the time you get back to the cottage. You’re going on a date! A real life date! I mean, sure, it’s with the person you’re supposed to assassinate, but that part can wait. You haven’t been on a date since...well never. You’d grown accustomed to charming but empty flirtations and one night stands. This time, it actually felt genuine. 

Part of you is beyond excited at the prospect of a real date, but a different part of you is begging you to stop. That part of you wants you to get this over with as soon as possible. Getting too connected with your target will only cause problems later on, you know that. 

‘I can let myself have a little fun. I deserve that much,’ you try to tell yourself. 

A phone call interrupted your thoughts. 

“Hello?” you answered.

“How’d it go? Did you kill him yet? Why haven’t you called?” Yoongi immediately bombarded you with questions. 

“Yoongi, slow down. Today was fine. No, I haven’t killed him yet. I just got back. Also, check in calls are to be made BY the hunter once or twice a week. I’ve talked to you two days in a row this week,” you say, audibly annoyed.

“This mission is different. Your target is extremely dangerous. Do you want me to send in reinforcements?”

“No, I can handle this on my own. I think it’ll take some time to gain Taehyung’s trust.”

“Who?”

“Taehyung. My target’s name.”

“You know that probably a fake name, right?”

“I know, I know. I’m just giving you a heads up that I may be here a while,” you sighed.

Honestly, you felt certain that his real name was Kim Taehyung. You felt certain that everything he’s told you so far is the truth. You’d acquired the useful skill of correctly sensing when someone was lying (many many years of training), but you saw no such signs with Taehyung.

“I appreciate that, I guess. Call me with every update. When are you seeing the target again? Why didn’t you kill him today?” Yoongi pressed more questions.

“I don’t know when I’m seeing him next. We finished all of the orders today, but I told him he’s always welcome in the shop. I’ll be waiting on him to pop by,” you lied, “I couldn’t kill him today because he still never let his guard down,” another lie.

“This guy sounds tricky as hell. I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to seduce you yet. Or is there something you’re not telling me?” Yoongi’s voice raised with suspicion.

“No, this guy is incredibly aloof for a vampire. It’s gonna be a challenge to get him to trust me, but I can do it,” you reassured him.

“Alright. I’ll believe you for now. Don’t hesitate to call. Bye,” Yoongi hung up.

He must really be worried. He never says ‘bye’. He usually just abruptly hangs up. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to tell Yoongi the truth. He would have admonished you for not finishing the job quickly. Suddenly, you began to second guess yourself. Should you go on a date with him? Maybe you should just surprise attack him as soon as he knocks on your door. 

You shook your head. This was stupid. Yoongi was stupid for making you worry. You have everything under control. You might as well enjoy the job while you can. The most important thing to remember is to NOT catch feelings, and you know that. You won’t. You can’t afford to.

You slept in the next morning. Since all the orders had been completed, there was no need to visit the shop. You naturally woke up when the sunlight shone through the blinds, slightly illuminating the room. 

Sitting at your breakfast table with a coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other, you realized that Taehyung never told you when he’d come pick you up. You’d normally assume that he’d pick you up in the evening, but you never know with Taehyung.

You hop into the shower after eating. Getting ready early never hurt anyone. You skim through your closet after you finish showering. You’ve never worn anything cute for a date before. Technically, you could call all your clubbing and partying outfits ‘cute’, but that’s more of a promiscuous cute, not a first date cute.

You try out a style that you’ve always wanted to wear, but never had the opportunity to. You pair an oversized sweater with a simple but flowy skirt. After applying some light makeup, you genuinely felt cute. You twirled in front of your mirror. 

It was early afternoon by the time you finished getting ready. As if by magic, there was a knock on the door as soon as you put on your last accessory. 

‘Hi Taehyung!” you greeted him.

“Good day, ___,” he politely greeted back.

The early morning sun retreated behind dark clouds by the time the afternoon came by. Taehyung held an umbrella over his head as he stood on your doorstep.

“Come in! I just finished getting ready. I actually had no idea what time you’d arrive,” you ushered him in.

“I realized I never told you by the time I got back to my house. I felt so foolish,” Taehyung blushed, “But it seems like I had the perfect timing.”

“Mhm, we must be connected by fate or something,” you giggled. 

“Do you believe in fate?” Taehyung asked, awkwardly standing just inside the threshold of your cottage. 

“Sure, I guess. Life is more fun when you believe in things like that,” you replied, taking his hand to lead him into the living room, “Make yourself at home.”

“Thank you. What do you mean by ‘things like that’?” Taehyung asked after sitting down. 

“Things like fate? Uh, I guess other supernatural things? Would that fall in the supernatural category?” you didn’t know how to answer.

“Most people think of demons or ghosts when they hear the word ‘supernatural’,” Taehyung answered.

“Ok, then maybe it’s some sort of omnipresent power. Who knows. Either way, life is easier if you believe in more things than the shit you can see,” you shrugged.

“Do you believe in supernatural things too?” he asked quietly.

“Like demons or ghosts?” you sat down beside him.

“Sure. Maybe even monsters too. Like werewolves or vampires,” he cast his gaze to the floor. 

“Werewolves or vampires? I don’t think those exist, silly. Or if they do, I’ve never met one,” you laugh.

What was he trying to do? Vampires never expose their true identities until their prey is on death’s doorstep. Is he about to attack?

Your body clenches up. You’re unarmed at the moment. The closest weapon to you is in your room, which is more than 15 feet away. If he attacks you right now, you’re dead. How could you be so stupid? You can’t believe that you let your guard down. 

“Hopefully you never meet one then, if they do exist. I’m sure they’re quite scary,” Taehyung nodded, interrupting your thoughts, “I wanted to take you on a picnic, but the storm outside says otherwise. I brought the food too. Would you like to eat it here?”

“A picnic? Aw, that would have been so cute. Sure, we can eat here. Do you wanna watch a movie while we eat?”

“We can watch a movie after we eat, if that’s okay with you. Again, I’m kind of old school, I guess. I apologize for not being able to take you on a proper date,” he frowned.

You set up your breakfast table as Taehyung retrieved the food. He came back with a stereotypical wicker basket. God, a picnic date would have put you over the moon.

“I made hamburgers. I brought the add ons since I don’t know what you like on them,” he brought out the food, “I also brought fruit and a bottle of wine. Do you drink?”

“I drink occasionally. This all looks incredible. You cook?” you gawked at all the food.

“Occasionally. I grew these fruits myself,” Taehyung looked rather proud of himself as he showed off his strawberries.

He picked one and brought it up to your face to let you examine it. It was a rather small strawberry, but it was as red as a cardinal. You reach forward to bite it, your lips grazing Taehyung’s fingers.

Taehyung let out a small gasp of surprise at your intimate gesture. Whether you were flirting or just being adorable, he couldn’t decipher. He hasn’t felt anything for anyone in centuries. Of every human he has encountered, you were by far the most intriguing.

“This is the sweetest strawberry I’ve ever had!” you cheered as your face contorted when the sugariness set in.

Taehyung laughed at you as he ate one himself, “I’m happy you like them. Please, help yourself to as many as you’d like. Eating them all by myself has been quite lonely.”

The table was finally set, and the meal was laid out beautifully. Taehyung reached out for hamburger buns when you smacked his hand away.

“Did I forget something--” he started to question.

“Phone eats first,” you explained, whipping out your phone to take pictures.

Once you were satisfied with your food photoshoot, you gestured for Taehyung to take his food. He shook his head disapprovingly at you but silently began making his burger. 

The medium rare patty was juicy (just the way you like it), and the vegetables tasted as if they had just been picked that morning. Taehyung watched you as you ate, hoping his food was enough to please you.

“How is it? Is everything to your liking? Is the meat too raw?” he asked in a rapid fire succession when he could no longer contain himself.

“Taehyung, this is honestly the best meal I’ve ever had. Everything seems so fresh! And the meat???” you pantomimed a chef’s kiss.

“Thank goodness,” Taehyung let out a long exhale as a wave of relief washed over him, “Would you like a glass of wine?”

“Maybe later,” you replied as you made your second burger.

“Okay. Just know that this pairs exquisitely with the burgers,” Taehyung said, already making his fourth one.

“Wine and burgers? That’s an odd pairing,” you raise an eyebrow at him.

“How would you know? You haven’t even tried it yet,” Taehyung scoffed.

Was he teasing you? Joking around with him felt so natural. You could get used to every meal being like this.

‘Wait. No. Don’t be so naive’, you scolded yourself.

“Ok fine! Pour me a glass so I can see for myself,” you rolled your eyes.

“I really only asked because I wanted to open the bottle already,” Taehyung grinned. 

With a now empty bottle and full stomachs, the two of you happily conversed across the table. Your laughs were genuine whenever Taehyung said something outlandish (which he often did). His gaze on you was nothing but fond as he examined your delicate features. Everything about you was alluring, and he could not figure out why.

“Let’s watch a movie,” you suggested, already getting out of your seat.

“We can watch whatever you want,” Taehyung smiled as you took him by the hand to lead him to the couch.

“We can scroll through Netflix to see what they have. You cold?” you asked.

“Technically I’m always cold,” Taehyung answers quickly, but then rushes to add, “Because it’s always a little chilly here.”

“Sure, okay. Well, I’m cold so I’m gonna use this blanket,” you dropped down beside him.

Taehyung awkwardly shifted to give you more room. You scooted even closer to him. Again, he tried to scoot away to give you some space.

“Taehyung.”

“Yes?”

“Would you like to cuddle with me under the blanket? Body warmth goes a long way,” you offered bluntly.

“I...would that be okay with you?” Taehyung shyly glanced at you.

“I asked, so yes of course it would be okay, silly,” you threw the blanket over him.

You snuggled up beside him as you scrolled through Netflix. At first, Taehyung was extremely tense. Over time, you felt him begin to relax, and he even began to lean into you. Eventually, you got him to wrap his arm around you. You could feel the coolness of his skin even through his sweater, but that’s to be expected. In all honesty, you forgot what he was for a little bit. 

Now would be the perfect time to end it all. He has let his guard down, his eyes glued to the TV screen. You glanced at him, admiring his side profile. There was no way a mere human could look that handsome. His lips moved slightly as he read the movie titles to himself. He realized you were watching him, and returned your gaze.

“Can I help you, ___?” he asked quietly.

“Possibly, if you’d like,” you whispered back.

“I would help you with anything, my dear ___,” Taehyung replied.

“Kiss me?” you say just inches away from his lips.

Taehyung obliged, bringing his hand to your cheek to guide you to him. His icy thumb trailed along your cheek down to your lips. You hesitated, looking at him with doe eyes. Not once have you ever felt nervous about kissing someone. It never mattered. But here, with him, everything was different. 

Taehyung leaned in, pressing his plush lips against yours. You embraced the coolness of his lips as it somehow felt refreshing. You finally dove in headfirst, greeting his gentle kiss with your own. Soon, the gentleness became harsher as you kissed him deeper.

Now straddling his lap, the prospect of movie watching had been forgotten. The blanket was tossed aside as Taehyung’s hands began to roam across your back. 

Your tongues intertwined wherever they met, be it in his mouth or yours. You pulled back slightly so you could remove your shirt before Taehyung stopped you.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“There will be plenty of time for that later. For now, will you let me kiss those lips that I have foolishly been missing for all my life?” Taehyung softly requested, running his hand through your hair.

There was nothing you could say to express what you felt in that moment. Never before has anyone wooed you like this. You granted his request by pulling him into you. Every act of intimacy felt so personal. Almost as if there was a real connection.

After more kissing, you sank back to lay beside Taehyung. This time, you sprawled out on the couch and rested your head on his lap. Taehyung smiled down at you as he stroked your hair. 

“On a scale of 1-10, how was this date?” he asked.

“Solid 9.”

“Why not a 10?”

“You didn’t want to see me with my shirt off.”

“What! It’s not like I don’t want to! Pardon my vulgarity, but I want to see you with everything off.”

“Then why didn’t you let me strip?” you were genuinely curious.

“I don’t want to rush you. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do,” he started twirling your hair between his fingers. 

“I was obviously wanting to take my shirt off,” you giggled. He starts to open his mouth to reply but you cut him off, “But thank you. I really appreciate that, Taehyung. You really are such a gentleman.”

“I try to be, anyway,” he said.

“What do you want to do for our next date?” you inquire.

“Next date? Don’t you think we’re moving too fast?” Taehyung teased you, “Would you like to take a walk around my estate?”

“You’re taking me on a walk? Am I a dog to you?” you feign being offended, but now Taehyung understands when you’re being playful.

“If you were a dog you’d be a cute little pomeranian. Adorable and tiny. All bark and no bite,” Taehyung boops your nose.

“If you were a dog you’d be a chihuahua. Annoying,” you quickly retorted.

“Not true. I feel like I’m more dignified, like a Great Dane or a Doberman,” Taehyung shook his head.

“Sure thing, silly. A walk actually sounds relaxing. As long as you can promise me that it won’t be raining, I’d love to go on a walk with you,” you finally answered him. 

“The storm should clear up in three days. Can I come pick you up then?”

“I can drive myself.”

“But I want to pick you up.”

“Why?”

“To be chivalrous. But also so that I can see you sooner,” Taehyung looked away in embarrassment.

“Aw, are you gonna miss me?” you teased.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Taehyung teased back.

You repositioned yourself back to straddling his lap. You hugged him, wrapping your arms around him like a koala. He chuckled and hugged you back as he thought about how adorable you were.

This seemingly innocent gesture had not so innocent motives. You began to rub yourself against his groin. Your panties were beginning to soak under your skirt. Taehyung didn’t protest. Instead, you heard him breathing in deeply as you rubbed against him harder.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked in a tone you haven’t heard before.

“Giving you a reason to miss me,” you answered.

Your hand snaked between your thighs to tease his clothed erection. He sighed as you took hold of him. You felt him up through his pants, and you pleasantly figured out that he’s well endowed. Just the thought of him fucking you with his huge cock made your mouth water. 

“Can I make you feel good?” you seductively whispered into his ear.

“You can do whatever you want with me, I’m all yours,” he replied.

You get off, and kneel before him. You asked him to remove his pants and underwear as you tied up your hair. He obediently followed your request. 

Your eyes widened as his cock was revealed. Just like you thought, its impressive length was matched by its delectable girth. It even curved down slightly, which for some reason turned you on even more. 

You pumped him slowly as you admired his dick. Soon, you began to tease him by swirling your tongue around his tip. Taehyung groaned and clutched your ponytail. You looked up at him to see that his eyes were shut and his mouth was wide open.

You licked up his length while you fondled his balls. Taehyung tightened his grip on your ponytail, urging you to stop teasing him. Finally, you wrapped your lips around him as you began to suck him off. The wet sounds echoed around the room. You started your pace off slowly, but gradually picked up. Your hands followed your lips as you bounced up and down. You gagged every time he hit the back of your throat. Feeling the walls of your throat spasm around him caused Taehyung to moan even louder. Tears welled in your eyes as he held himself inside your mouth longer.

In an attempt to let yourself breathe, you went back to swirling around his tip. His dick was now covered in your saliva, so you firmly pumped him while you worked on his tip.

“K-keep going. Just like that. I’m gonna--” Taehyung didn’t finish his sentence before cumming in your mouth. 

His cum was surprisingly hot as it exploded into your mouth and dribbled down your chin. 

“How was that?” you asked as you wiped away his cum with the back of your hand.

Taehyung was slouching against the couch, still panting. He pulled you back onto his lap before answering, “I had a reason to miss you before, but now I’ll miss you even more.”

“Oh? What was your reasoning before?” you cooed.

“I believe I have formulated a crush on you,” he kissed the top of your head.

“Damn, that sucks,” you shrugged, “Sucks that I have a crush on you too.”

“___,” Taehyung said softly.

“Yes?” you gazed up at him.

“Will you be my girlfriend? I know we haven’t known each other long but--”

“Yes. I’d be honored to be your girlfriend,” you embraced him, “You still wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure, my darling. Let’s do that,” Taehyung squeezed you, almost a little too tight, but you didn’t mind.

“Moana!” you exclaimed as you stumbled upon it.

“Isn’t this a children’s movie?” Taehyung said in protest.

“Yes. It’s also great. Judging by your reaction, you’ve never seen it before so we’re gonna change that,” you clicked on the movie and instantly threw away the remote.

The rest of the day was spent watching Moana. Taehyung was amused by how you knew each song and sang along with the movie. He wouldn’t admit it, but he enjoyed the movie. It was beautifully animated and he appreciated the deep meanings behind it.

You walked Taehyung to the door after the movie ended. He tenderly kissed your cheek as you hugged him goodbye.

“So, I’ll come pick you up in three days time?” Taehyung wanted to clarify.

“No, I’m driving myself over to your place,” you stood your ground.

“As you like,” Taehyung pouted. He’s never done that before. Seeing his cute little puppy eyes almost made you change your mind. You ushered him out before you could do so.

You watched him drive into the distance as the rain poured. It had been storming all day. You couldn’t contain how giddy Taehyung made you feel. You had a boyfriend! Your very first boyfriend, and he was practically a god.

Well, he was a vampire. That you were sent to exterminate. 

Your heart deflated at the thought. How could you be so stupid? You got so caught up in the act that you actually let yourself get carried away. 

However, this didn’t feel like an act anymore. If anything, Taehyung knows more about you than anyone else in the world. 

What if...you just never went back to the VEC? Maybe you could convince Taehyung to run away with you. 

No, that would be impossible. The VEC had eyes everywhere, and were capable of anything. For the first time in your life, you didn’t want to kill someone. Your perpetual anger at the world dispelled itself whenever you were with Taehyung. 

Instead of calling Yoongi, you decided to text him.

[7:36pm] Still alive. This job is gonna be a long one, but I got it handled. I won’t reach out again until the job is done.

[7:36pm from Yoongles] K

Perfect. That should keep Yoongi off of your ass for a while. At least a month. 

The days that you didn’t see Taehyung felt like an eternity. You went to the shop to keep up appearances, but just watched anime on your laptop the whole time. 

The elderly couple from before showed up at the shop again. You contently watched them admire the flowers as they walked hand in hand. They brought up the same arrangement of flowers as last time. 

“You look different today, dear,” the woman observed.

“Oh yeah? How so, ma’am?” you smiled politely.

“Oh, you’re right dear! She seems happier somehow, the air about her is lighter,” the man nodded in agreement.

“Perhaps now she’s in love. At the very least, there’s someone she’s thinking about right now. Good for you dear! I hope it all works out,” the woman patted your hand as you handed the flowers back over to her. You simply laughed with them as they exited the shop, but your smile dropped as soon as they were out of sight. Their words resonated with you. You’re not in love. That’s absurd. However, you can't deny your fat crush on Taehyung. It’ll subside once you dispose of him. At least, that’s what you think to reassure yourself. 

The day of your second date with Taehyung had arrived. It was weird not being able to text or call him. All your previous assignments that took more time loved sexting you. Taehyung was by far your most peculiar case.

The rainfall had finally subsided as you drove over to Taehyung’s estate. The jewelry you wore was crafted to hold small amounts of holy water, perfect for poisoning a vampire’s food. You dabbled in the art of poison in your free time, and managed to develop a toxin that would instantly immobilize even the strongest of vampires. You kept a vial of that on you at all times. You even equipped your best dagger, hiding it within your clothing.

You took a deep breath as you pulled up to the driveway. Today could be the day. If he gave you an opening, you had to take it. You couldn’t keep lying to yourself. 

‘He doesn’t care about you. He only wants to feed on you,’ You repeated those accusatory thoughts to yourself in the hopes of actually believing in them. 

Taehyung was waiting for you, sitting on the ledge of the rundown fountain. He happily waved at you as you walked up to greet him. 

“___! How are you? How was the drive?” Taehyung kissed your cheeks as soon as you were within reach.

“I’m doing well, how have you been? The drive was uneventful, but I’m sure you’re used to that driving around here,” you giggled at his friendliness.

Taehyung was as stoic as a statue when you first met him. Now, he was a sweet talkative guy with boyish charms. 

“It’s quiet around here. But that’s why I like it. Shall we begin our walk? There are so many things I want to show you!” Taehyung took your hand and tugged you along.

Weaving his icy fingers with yours, you struggled to keep up with his pace. 

“Taehyung! Slow down, we have all day,” you cried out.

“Sorry, my darling. I just haven’t been this excited in a very long time,” Taehyung apologized.

“How long?” you poked.

“Centuries,” he smiled. You knew he wasn’t lying. You giggled to play along with his joke. 

His estate had vast grounds. At first glance, it seemed like the property was overgrown, but you realized you were wrong the further away you ventured. 

Taehyung was following a small trail that looked like it had been worn out through the years. The treeline got thicker as you guys walked along, progressively turning into a forest. Taehyung was talking the whole time. He was spouting facts and stories about the various plants you stumbled across.

‘So it’s not just flowers. He just really loves nature,’ you thought to yourself. 

“Am I boring you? You haven’t said a thing,” Taehyung looked back at you.

“Not at all! I’m learning a lot. I’m intently listening to you, I promise,” you hold out a pinky to him. Taehyung wraps his pinky around yours and continues to lead you down the trail.

“Oh! This is my lake. Do you like to fish?” Taehyung asked as you entered a small clearing.

A dock jutted off of the shoreline of an expansive lake. The lake went on as far as the eye can see. You could barely make out the treeline on the other side. 

“This is your lake? You own the entire thing?” you asked in amazement. 

“It’s all within my property lines, so yes,” Taehyung nodded, “Do you like fishing, dear?”

“Fishing is okay I guess. I prefer to eat the fish,” you answered, “Maybe we could kayak or something here?”

“Noted. I have a small rowboat we can take out to the middle sometime. You can take a nap while I fish,” Taehyung jokes. 

“Sounds like a fine date to me,” you replied.

“Okay! Moving on,” Taehyung (with your pinky still intertwined with his) spun you around and led you back to the trail. 

Next, he led you to his garden. He pointed out his strawberry patch, letting you pick the ripest one. He proudly showed you his vegetables too, ranging from lettuce to cucumbers.

“You have such a great green thumb! Every plant I try to raise dies instantly. Even cacti,” you sighed glumly.

“Aw, it’s okay dear. Perhaps you can help me tend to my garden sometime,” Taehyung pecked your cheek.

“Sounds like another fine date,” you returned his kiss with one of your own.

Taehyung explained that the trail goes around his property in a small loop. He had much more land, however he didn't use it for anything. He explained that he values his privacy, but didn’t expound on it. You already knew the reason why anyway. 

The treeline began to thin out. Soon, you were traversing through a field of tall ferns. Silently walking through the field, you noticed a patch of ferns that had been crushed, almost as if someone sat on them.

Your heart sank. You stopped in your tracks. Your observant eyes saw subtle dark brown spots that littered the patch of squished ferns. This must have been where your parents were found. 

You’d been denying the truth this entire trip. Taehyung really had murdered your parents. The proof was right there. He was nothing more than a vampire. A cold blooded killer with only one motive. It was suddenly getting hard to breathe.

“___? ___?” Taehyung shook your shoulder, snapping you back to reality, “Are you okay? You suddenly stopped walking and spaced out.”

“I’m good! Sorry, I thought I saw something,” you reassured him.

“What did you see?” he asked.

“I thought I saw a rabbit. Then my thoughts wandered to rabbits and I guess I got caught up in it,” you lied. 

“Ah, I understand. I do that all the time,” Taehyung patted your head.

All the warm feelings you had towards him were gone. They were replaced by anger and hatred, the feelings you should have had the whole time. You were going to kill him today. He just needed to put himself in a vulnerable position.

“We’re almost back to the house. Would you like some tea?” Taehyung offered.

“That would be perfect,” you smiled. Perfect indeed. All you had to do was slip in some holy water. His mouth will burn upon impact, giving you the perfect opportunity to swoop in for the kill. 

He led you into his house through the back door. The interior was surprisingly modern with a sleek minimalist style. Despite the exterior looking like it was from the Victorian era, the inside was furnished with simple black furniture to compliment the light grey walls.

“It’s not much,” Taehyung said when he noticed you looking around, “I live alone so there’s no need to make this place feel inviting. Well, at least there was no need.” 

You faked a smile at his comment. 

“Make yourself at home, dear. The dining table is over there. I'll bring the tea when it’s ready,” Taehyung planted a soft kiss against your forehead.

A shiver ran down your spine. The once sweet gesture now felt like a threat. Your leg bounced uncontrollably as you waited for Taehyung to join you. Now is the time. It’s now or never.

He placed an ornate teacup atop a fancy saucer in front of you. You graciously accepted it. 

“This is my favorite flavor, I hope you like it,” Taehyung said as he lifted his cup to you.

You mimicked his action, clinking your cups. Bringing the cup to your lips, you take your first sip. It was sweeter than expected, but the flavor was pleasant overall. 

“Can you guess what flavor it is?” Taehyung asked.

“Something fruity...blackberry?” you answered.

“Close! It’s raspberry. Raspberries tend to be less tart than blackberries,” he explained, “Oh! I have the perfect cake to pair with this too! I’m a bit of a foodie if you hadn’t noticed.”

“All that walking made me hungry so that sounds great,” you replied.

“Wait here, I’ll be right back,” he smiled before departing. 

His drink was left unattended, giving you the opportunity to tamper with it. You debated whether you should put in holy water or your special poison. You decide to go with the holy water, that way you can still talk to him after you restrain him. With a quick push of a hidden button on your ring, a few droplets of holy water fell into Taehyung’s tea. 

Taehyung returned with a small lemon cake, placing it between the saucers. He cut you a slice before serving himself. Eagerly waiting for you to take the first bite, he looked pleased when a smile crept on your face. 

“This is delicious! Where’d you buy it?” you asked.

“I made it myself! I finally perfected it after a bunch of trial and error,” he beamed as he began to eat his slice.

“Let’s toast to this occasion, to celebrate the beginning of a new relationship,” you held out your cup. You’re ready to pounce as soon as he takes a sip. The concealed weapon hidden in your sleeve was prepped and ready to spring out as soon as you attacked.

“A toast to this momentous occasion,” Taehyung held his cup out. It’s nearly time. He paused for a second.

“Can I say something first?” Taehyung lowered his cup.

“Of course, is something wrong?” you tried to conceal the panic in your voice. Had he finally caught on? Your body tensed up as you prepared for a fight.

“Nothing is wrong, dear. I just...I want to get something off my chest,” he took a deep breath, “I had been extremely bored with life for God knows how long. I value my security and seclusion for personal reasons, however I never craved for interactions with anyone. I’ve preferred to be alone for the longest time. Mostly because I don’t want to cause problems for anyone anymore. The last time I interacted with people it ended rather poorly.”

You set your cup down to listen to him, fully engaged in his speech while still being on high alert.

“Everything changed when I met you. I can’t explain it. Normally I would have shooed you away, but something about you made me want to help you. Maybe my interest in flowers got the better of me, who knows? Then, I had the pleasure of getting to know you more when I made the bouquets with you. I can’t tell you the last time I had a genuine conversation with someone. Everything feels so natural with you. I want you to know that I will never hurt you. I will never lie to you. I despise lies above all else. Lastly, I wanted to thank you. Thank you for taking the wrong turn and stumbling into my life. I’m excited to start a new chapter with you, ___.”

You were speechless. Not one word of his was laced with magic. His speech was pure and genuine. How can someone this thoughtful be capable of murdering your parents?

“What happened to the people you last interacted with?” you questioned.

Taehyung flinched at your response. Out of all the things he said, that’s what you chose to respond to? Taehyung shook his apprehension away and chalked it up to your curiosity.

“Many years ago I lost someone I was very fond of. I suppose I never wanted to go through that pain ever again,” he answered solemnly. That’s not what you meant to ask. You were intrigued but needed answers to more pressing matters first.

“So you’ve never interacted with anyone since then?” you pressed the issue.

“Well I had some nuisances bothering me somewhat recently but I don’t think that is important,” Taehyung averted his gaze from you.

“Nuisances? How so?” you expertly concealed your growing rage. 

“They wouldn’t leave me alone after I politely asked them to vacate my property,” he curtly answered.

“Why were they here?” you prodded.

“Does that matter?” Taehyung’s voice rose, causing you to shrink into your chair.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. That doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that we’re together now. We can take on the world together, you and me. I want to give you the world, darling,” Taehyung quickly apologized after seeing that he startled you.

“Thank you, Taehyung. You really are the best gentleman I have ever met. Thanks for loving flowers so much that you ended up talking to me, I guess,” you smiled politely as you lifted your cup.

Now you were conflicted. Surely there was more to the story between him and your parents. You needed answers. Taehyung doesn’t seem to be violent at all. His kindhearted nature made it hard to believe that he was capable of such atrocities. 

“Cheers, darling,” Taehyung clinked your cup.

You watched intently as he brought his cup to his lips. His movements seemed to be happening in slow motion, torturing you. 

“Wait!” you cried out, “Let’s switch cups. For good luck.”

“Huh?” Taehyung lowered his cup in confusion.

“I used to do that with my parents. We’d switch cups at the last minute for good luck,” you lied. Hopefully Taehyung would buy into it.

“Sure. What an interesting notion,” Taehyung observed as he switched cups with you.

“The key is doing it last minute, that way luck won’t escape you,” you admonished yourself for such a shitty explanation. 

“That makes sense,” Taehyung nodded thoughtfully. Thank god he’s a bit odd. 

You drank the cup containing the holy water. You could have easily killed Taehyung today, but you needed to know more about your parent’s death. The VEC wasn’t going to tell you jack shit. Perhaps it was time to go a little rogue. 

Published October 9th, 2020. No editing, copying, translating, or reposting allowed. All Rights Reserved © 2020 Baepsaesbae.

[pearl-blue-musings]

Perchance to Meet pt. 4

Hi again! 

Back at it again with anotha one. I didn’t put it on the other ones, my bad, but it is a fem reader. I apologize if that makes anyone uncomfortable!

Warnings: language, suggestive language, angst, you’ll probably hate me at the end but oh well 

  Part 5 

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that night, Aizawa tried his best to do what was best for him and his girlfriend. Regardless of what that enailed, he would do it. By no means did that mean he worked any less, he did what any over zealous workaholic does.

He began to stretch himself too thin.

On top of his teaching, patrolling, and keeping (Y/n) safe, the pro-hero barely had time for himself. He felt it was worth it, so long as work and personal life never interfered with each other or her work life for that matter, things were fine.

He did his best to believe his own façade until an early on staff meeting. He sent his love a quick text letting her know that he’d be late to her store because of a staff meeting. That’s alright, she responded, I’ve had some extra stuff come up at the shop with the café portion. Be safe baby uwu

Aizawa rolled his eyes, if you ever say that again I’m not picking up sweets on the way home.

Uwu uwu??

You’re lucky I love you

Uwu! 

The man chuckled and put his phone down, preparing himself for the meeting. So far the school year had gone pretty smoothly regardless of his attempts to expel students from the first week. The meeting at hand was just a normal staff meeting, going over the upcoming calendar for the whole school and going into smaller details like who would be at the USJ in the upcoming two weeks. He doesn’t show it, but he’s very excited for his kids to begin training at the USJ and with All Might and Thirteen there they are sure going to learn and grow in the right way.

After the meeting ended, everyone was rounding up their belongings and having idle chit chat. Aizawa is so close to tasting the sweet relief of the end of the day when he’s stopped by a couple teachers.

He’s met with whimsical sapphire eyes that match a grin on the ravenette’s face. “So, when am I going to meet the mystery woman that’s clearly stolen your heart.”

“Nemuri,” Aizawa sighs, “it’s not appropriate to talk about personal relationships during school hours.”

Ruby lips frown and pout, “Aw come on Aizawa! You’ve been together for almost a year now! Why haven’t you brought her to any of the staff outings?”

“Maybe because she’s busy too? I don’t wanna get into it.”

“It’s true!” The loud voice interrupting can only belong to one obnoxious blond. “She runs her own bookstore and bartends to make money for said bookstore! She’s a workaholic just like him. A match made in heaven!”

Upon his arrival, Present Mic had wrapped his arm around his friends shoulders to bring the three of them closer as they walk out of the room. As much as he wants to shove the arm off of his body he doesn’t feel the need to.

“Oh,” Midnight surmises, “so that’s why I haven’t met her! Stop hiding her from us Eraser we want to meet her.”

“You will, eventually.”

Nemuri scoffs, “Eventually?! You’ve been saying that for months.”

“Ah but what if he’s keeping her a secret on purpose?”

A new voice shocks the trio as they turn around to see Principal Nezu walking with a frailer looking All Might. All Might shakes his head and points to Nezu. “I mean, Eraserhead is a very busy man who puts his life on the line for his students and community. Who’s to say he’s not doing it for her safety?”

That makes the three teachers stop and think, but Aizawa’s train of thought isn’t exactly the same as his peers. The principal has a point. Up to this point, he hadn’t been able to bring her because of their crazy schedule and diligence to their respective jobs; granted they always made time for each other. But what if that’s a big part of it? Now that the number one hero is at the school he teaches, having a close connection to his class he might add, doesn’t that put a bigger target on his back for villains?

He’s tried not to think too much about the increase in villain activity since All Might’s presence, however it is now unavoidable. There’s always the possibility of an attack, the press made that pretty obvious, but Aizawa wouldn’t put it past any villain to do their research. Has he been safe enough when he’s been out with (Y/n)? Were they being tailed or followed by anyone on their many dates? Shit, has she gotten any new customers that might be a problem?

How could he have been so stupid and blind to not see the potential danger she’s in just by being with him? He had never felt like this before; never been so pulled into one person. He had avoided dating for this reason but how could she make him forget all of those reasons?

“It’s clear to me you love her and that you have a lot to think about Aizawa,” Nezu finishes, “but you always know what to do! I may not know her but I wish the two of you happiness!”

*****************************

(Y/n) tried her best to hold back her anger and frustration, but it was inevitable. Even with the addition of the café and a couple extra workers, she still needed to pull hours at the club. The struggle was indeed real. She desperately wants to slam her head on her desk but she knows that it’ll only upset Aizawa to see her physically hurt. So she keeps her head up with her arm and continues to look through the books for the last month.

No one had been stealing, everyone was working hard, hell even Kona had taken extra hours to help ease her stress over keeping the business running. But it wasn’t enough. No matter what she did, it wasn’t enough to keep working like this. Her tired eyes bore into the calendar knowing she can’t take much time off soon regardless of how much she wants to. Her time off will come in the form of a conference she’s been invited to attend and hold a small lecture. It’ll talk about how running a business you love while using your quirk for good is still considered heroic in its own right. I mean, she and all her friends knew that but there are still so many people in this society who feel less than because their quirks aren’t heroic…

Her mind begins to wander to her friends, Aizawa, one of her older favorite customers…

Ah yes, she hadn’t seen them in the last couple of years. She couldn’t remember the moms name, but her child always came in with another daycare every now and then, Eri. She had the prettiest white hair and red eyes, and the cutest little horn that was on her head. (Y/n) really missed her, but she assumed because of something with her quirk she stopped showing up, or maybe they moved; they would always come around the same time as if on some schedule.

A deep exhale escapes her mouth as she attempts to focus on the task at hand. She was finally making some headway in organizing the schedule and financial books when she hears an abrupt knock on the window. In a daze, (Y/n) leaves her office to walk toward the front, staring at the turned off ‘Open’ sign in frustration. But who is she to deny someone who might need help?

“Sir,” she yawns, “I’m sorry but we’re closed right now.”

The man in front of her has a menacing look that sends a chill down her spine. The mask covering his face makes it hard to distinguish his figures, and she notices the gloves over his hands. “Are you not (Y/f/n)?”

“Uh, yes? And may I ask who wants to know?”

The man chuckles, “I have a request from someone you may know.” He hands her a piece of paper and she hesitantly takes it. All that is on it are a few words that she is able to identify as a particular book in a children’s fantasy, her quirk coming to her aide. “I have the money already if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

Unsteadiness rises in the young woman. She searches his eyes for any kind of familiarity but fails to find any. “Ah, well sir I have the right book in mind. Could you wait right here?”

The man waits for her as he watches her go inside the store. So this is the place that good for nothing woman would go to? Hmm, it has appeal and he can see why his subject enjoyed it. Anything to put his plan into motion and keep it within his reach.

“Here you are, and may I get your name?”

Upon receiving the book, he exchanges the money and politely bows. “Chisaki Kai.

“And Eri says hello.”

********************************

The drive to the airport was filled with content silence, as (Y/n) leans her head onto Aizawa’s in the car they shared. It was early in the morning so the pro-hero was already adjusted to being up at this hour, however his girlfriend wasn’t. He had debated about escorting her to the airport, Nezu’s words still in his head two weeks later, but figured she’d be happier and more at ease having him see her off. It’s not everyday someone he knows and loves gets invited to talk about something they’re very passionate about.

He’s overly ecstatic about it and is upset he can’t be there for her. But he knows that he’ll do his best to stream her talk when it’s available.

This is what he loves, this equal give and take they have for their relationship. He’s met some of her friends and family, albeit on a tight schedule, and vice versa; minus the pro-heroes. They both have a strong respect for what they do and when they do it. Even though this will be the most time they’ll have together, he’s glad he can see her sleep so peacefully on his shoulder. A content grin adorns his face as he does another thing out of character and snaps a picture of her.

Damn, he really is in love with her. Once he sees the airport in sight, he softly nudges her, “Hey, princess. We’re almost there.”

“Unngg, no…”

Aizawa chuckles at her whining and lightly kisses her forehead. “I wanted a couple extra minutes of you awake before you get out and-“

“Sh, sh,” she interrupts. “You act like I don’t get it,” her words are slurred from being too tired. “You do a lot for me, love. We gotta be safe I understand; gossip is so bad.”

He loves how extra snuggly she is when she’s too tired to function. “You know I’d walk you to the gate if I could,” his voice rumbles huskily that ends up making her mewl.

“I hate when you talk like that.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll be sure to call you tonight and talk just like this.”

“Oh sure! Just forget that I’m in the car! Now hurry up your students have a big day coming up!”

The couple giggles at Hizashi’s words, despite their truth. His friend rolls his eyes as he sees where they parked. It’s a bit of a walk to the airport but this gives them privacy from any prying eyes, especially of the villain nature. The two of them step out of the car and gather her overnight luggage from the trunk.

“I’ll only be gone for the night, I’ll be back tomorrow evening.” She leans up to kiss him.

“I know,” he kisses her back, “I just wanted you to finally meet my students and see them in action.”

Her eyes widen at his words, and so did some golden ones at that. “You..? What?”

“Heh, I figured it was way past time I let you into more of my world. I know I’m not the most open person, but I want to keep you safe and where else to do that than at U.A. with other heroes? They’re going to be working on rescues, and since you’ve shared so much of yourself with me, well it’s about time.”

Tears threatened to spill in his girlfriend’s eyes at his words. “Are you sure? I understand we kept our relationship a secret for our safety but, are you sure? I’m content knowing only your family and Yamada and- mmph!”

He silences her with a kiss and chuckles into it. “It’s dangerous yes, but you’re worth it.”

*******************************

The flight back wasn’t as enjoyable as the tired woman had predicted. Since her presentation went well, she was on a high until midway through her flight. Poor (Y/n) got stuck in the middle seat surrounded by the most unbearable people on the planet. She couldn’t wait to get back to Aizawa and just let him ravish her.

Once she had collected her luggage and turned on her phone, she tried to find the raven haired man and his loud blond friend. But after ten minutes of waiting and searching she came up empty handed. “What the hell,” she muttered to herself. She had no missed calls or texts from Shouta so what was up? He promised he’d pick her up but she’s been in the airport for almost an hour now and no such luck.

Getting frustrated she ended up hailing a random taxi and input her address. No matter, he could have had something come up at school which is entirely possible. She wasn’t going to let that get in her way of returning to the man she’s absolutely head over heels for. It might have been just one night away, but it felt like an eternity. Despite all her work, all his work, the world pretty much telling them no they found a way. Sure they had their fair sure of arguments but what couple didn’t? At the end of the day, they loved each other and that’s what was important.

She suddenly began to feel her phone buzz and pouts at the caller I.D. “Yamada, I have half a mind to come to your place and demand you drive me around for the hell of it! I thought you were supposed to pick me up!”

“(Y/n).”

The laugh that was in her throat retreated when she noticed his serious tone. This wasn’t like him. Damn, what happened?

“Hizashi, you’re scaring me,” her voice trembles, “where’s Shouta?”

She can hear him take a deep breath and his voice is not as boisterous as it typically is. “Answer me!” She’s clutching her phone as tears threaten to fall, “where is he?!”

“(Y/n), dear, I’m so sorry. There was an attack yesterday during the training, and he’s injured. Really badly.”

He’s met with silence on the other end and slowly continues. “He’s at the hospital. I’ll send you the address.”

With that he hung up. (Y/n) felt her jaw go slack. Her heart begins to pound faster than before as her breathing increases. The urge to vomit overwhelms her senses as the feeling in her stomach is one she’s never felt. Nothing makes sense. Why? Why didn’t he tell you immediately? Or why didn’t Present Mic tell you earlier? It’s almost 5 pm school ended hours ago, this makes no sense he would’ve told her, he would have he would have-

Her phone lights up with a text from the blond man Here’s the address. I did this for him. Please go to him.

The rest of the ride is a blur after she tells the driver to switch addresses. Her conference didn’t matter, her shitty flight didn’t matter, her new found knowledge didn’t matter… Shouta needed her and fuck why can’t this person drive faster!

She barely recollects paying her driver as she pulls up to the hospital. She runs in with her bags up to the front desk and politely yet frantically asks for her boyfriend. The nurse up front is apprehensive but relaxes upon seeing her stressed out face and Hizashi coming up to vouch for her. He glances into her eyes and gives her a hug in solidarity and apology. The pair of them pass by rooms, quickly going to the elevator to find Aizawa’a room. Along the way, she assumes she passes some of his students as the blond man pushes them out of the way.

Hizashi holds her luggage as she makes her way inside. In the room, she finally sees him and falls to her knees. Her presence is finally announced as an older nurse and a frail looking man turn to her. His face is completely covered in bandages and his arm is clearly broken. It takes everything in her to not wail at the sight.

“Who is it?”

The voice is soft and muffled but she’s able to make out who said it. The elderly looking nurse comes to his side and removes some of the bandages on his face in order for his eyes to be revealed.

It had been a few hours since he had been able to see, but what he was greeted with confirmed his newfound resolve. The sight of his girlfriend’s face covered in tears for him was almost too much.

“Sh-Shouta, why? What happened?”

“Why are you here?”

That sentence alone stunned everyone in the room, including Hizashi who had just walked in.

“What are you talking about? You got attacked! Why else would I be here?”

“You shouldn’t be here,” he coughs out. “This isn’t a place for you.”

Confusion crosses her features at his words. “I don’t? I don’t understand, I thought you wanted me to be part of your life.”

“Present Mic told you I was here didn’t he? I told him not to.” He sighs and tries to lay back down. “Recovery Girl, could you cover me back up?”

“Whoa, whoa wait! I come back from a conference and I find out that you are severely injured and you don’t want me here?! What the hell happened to everything we spoke about literally yesterday? Why didn’t you tell me, or at least have him tell me you were okay or something!

“You’ve been like this for a whole fucking day and if I’m correct, you weren’t planning on telling me?”

He lowers his voice from the yelling and mutters loud enough for her to hear, “this is why pro-heroes don’t date.”

Gasps were heard around the room and Present Mic is most surprised, “Eraserhead come on,” he breathes. “Don’t do this, man. And you need to take a break! You can’t just go back to work like everything is fine!”

“He’s what!?”

Aizawa puts up his in broken hand to silence them, “no she needs to hear this.” He points to the now confused and angry woman in front of him. “You don’t understand that this is my life and I will get hurt.”

(Y/n) shakes her head, “I know that! But you need to rest, I’ve missed you and I’m sure your students would understand. You saved them!”

He interrupts, “I can’t stop being a hero and a teacher because of some injuries. My kids need me.”

“I need you too.”

“But you’re not putting your life on the line every day are you? You just sell books and make drinks, how is that helping people?”

Her heart sank at those words. How could he say something like that? She can slowly but surely feel her heart be torn and repaired by thorny weeds holding it together. She can’t even look at him, knowing that he was aiming to hurt her intentionally with those words. Those words were why she does what she does and he just mocked her. After all this time, it seems his true colors were finally showing. This is why he never let her in, because he’s a coward. A coward too afraid to let anyone come close. It’s a miracle to her now that he has friends.

The silence is deafening after his last questions as all eyes on are on her. (Y/n) straightens her posture and begins to head out of the room. She stops briefly to whip out her keychain. She removes the key to his apartment, struggling to get it off and finally throws it on the ground, the clanking of the metal against the tiles louder than anyone thought. And through her gritted teeth she spat,

“Fuck you Aizawa.”

She grabs her luggage from an unusually quiet Hizashi and storms out, tears cascading down her face.

Once she was out of earshot, Mic turns to his friend and takes a deep breath. “What the hell was that!? That wasn’t what we practiced!”

He’s greeted by silence from his injured and heartbroken friend. Aizawa knew what he was supposed to say, but the attack on his students left him feeling some kind of way. Even though the villains were after All Might, they attacked his students and he couldn’t have that. He told no one of that trip and feared that someone may have overheard him talking to her at the airport. He knew these villains were ruthless and as he said, he would do anything to protect her at all costs.

Aizawa sighs, the weight of his words and actions falling onto him. “It was the right thing. These villains are crazy, attacking students and teachers in broad daylight. Who knows what else they know about us? I can’t get her involved in that.”

The blond shakes his head in disappointment. “No you don’t get it. (Y/n) loves you and would do anything for you. I understand you want to keep her safe but breaking her heart like that…”

Aizawa knows this too well as he speaks to his friend again. “It’s better if she’s not in my life. I don’t want her connected to this and you know she’d throw herself into this to support and be there for me. I can’t have my students and my girlfriend with targets on their backs.

“What kind of hero would I be if I can’t save the ones I care for?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist!: @kiribaku-queen @cupcake-rogue @shinsouskitten @prk-pyo @therealwalmartjesus 

[flatstarcarcosa]

favors and heists

notes: i gave myself brain worms while roping @dadbodsandbots into my mass effect insert shenanigans by using her mans so I had to shake some of them loose. this turned out to be kinda fun, actually, for a change :3

also tags @jackals-ships while making pspspsps noises

summary: what's the point of your best friend dating a galaxy-renown mercenary if not for the favors you can squeeze out of the deal?

or

zaeed takes a charity case.

ship(s): stubborn goddamn jackasses, cat/digs (boomcat? harcat?)

******

The door alarm has been chiming for four minutes. Pressing the override button on his omni-tool shuts it off for a few scarce seconds, only for whoever is outside to activate it again. Finally, Zaeed gives up on ignoring it and wrenches the damn thing open manually. The metal squeals in protest before the hydraulics correct themselves.

"The hell do you want?" he asks, frowning. Cat stands in the door way with barely contained tears in her eyes.

"My final thesis is due next week and the whole argument hinges on this 18th century painting and-"

"Dooooon't care," Zaeed drawls as he goes to manually pull the door shut again. She lunges forward, getting a shoulder and half a leg across before the safety catch feels an obstruction and stops.

"-and it got stolen and if I have to report it to my boss I'm not only gonna fail the program but I'll never work in this industry again!" she blurts. Zaeed has already turned his back towards her and is cussing at his omni-tool's refusal to force the door shut.

"Don't caaaaaaaaare," he says.

"You gotta help me get it back!" she cries, "That fucking asshole Harkness stole it and if he gets too far I'll never see it again!"

Zaeed stops, shoulders sagging. He holds up a finger and turns.

"When you say Harkness-"

"Yeah, Digger," Cat sniffs. "You know, Captain Boom-"

"Will willingly shoot my other eye out before I call him that, thanks," says Zaeed. He goes silent for a moment, and then lets out a frustrated growl and runs a hand over his face. "All right, fine. But only because I've still got a grudge against that jackass I've been meaning to settle."

She looks up, elation flashing across her face.

"Really?! I mean, I can hire you, too, so-"

Zaeed snorts.

"You don't make near enough to hire me," he says. "Especially not if you want him alive, although honestly, that part isn't up to you." He steps out of sight into the other room, and Cat wanders into the kitchen to blow her nose on a wad of paper towels.

"Where was he last?" Zaeed asks.

"I mean, my office," she calls back. He steps back around the corner, the top half of his armor undersuit hanging around his waist.

"I meant where was he before he stole the painting?"

"Oh!" she pauses. "I...dunno, some hotel down on Silversun."

Zaeed hums, and pulls his arm through the sleeve on his suit. He drags a footlocker over to the sofa and plops down, bending over to unlock the lid.

"How'd Harkness get into your office, anyway?" he asks. "It's not exactly publicly accessible."

"Uh- I...I don't know," she stammers, "he's a thief, that's what he does!"

Zaeed quirks an eyebrow at her as he laces his boots.

"Uh-huh," he says. "And he just happened to have decided to specifically case your office for one painting..."

"Yeah."

"Your office, which is in a moderately secured area in the Citadel Tower," he continues. He raises an eyebrow at her. She shifts her weight from one foot to the other.

"Yeah," she says again, voice tight. "Why?"

"No reason," he says. Motorized armor joints lock into place with mechanical whirring, and she watches him strap a pistol and a sniper rifle in place. "Here's the thing, if he's already jumped ship and left the Citadel, I'm not chasing him all over. This lasts until I decide the amusement isn't worth the lack of money. Matter of fact, you knowing Reese is the only reason I didn't tell you to fuck off and throw you out."

"A fact which I am heavily aware of," says Cat.

"Long as we're on the same page," says Zaeed. "Might as well wait here, I doubt this is gonna take too long."

"Hey," says Cat, "wait a second. How do you know him, anyway?"

Zaeed clicks his tongue.

"Got unlucky enough to be on a job with him once," he says. "Stupid little fuck nearly got me killed. Spent four weeks healing from that."

"Oh," she says.

"Granted, wasn't the same as getting half my face blown off," he adds, "but it was still enough that I've had it in for him ever since."

"You're not actually going to kill him, are you?" she asks. Zaeed shrugs as the door slides open.

"That depends on him, love," he says.

"Oh," she says. Before she can get another word out, Zaeed steps into the hall and leaves her alone. She sighs and sits down on the sofa. "Well, that's just fucking great."

******

It takes less than five hours to track Harkness down. After checking out of his hotel earlier that morning, he'd stuck around the Silversun Strip rather than booking a flight off the Citadel.

For some reason that Zaeed can only chock up to the man being an absolute fucking idiot, he didn't consider that wandering around with a medium sized painting under his arm was going to make him stick out to the residents.

Only on the Silversun Strip would one get away with that without C-Sec getting called and dropping down on your ass. Try it up on the Presidium and every rich asshole with a penthouse would be ringing the emergency numbers for 'suspicious activity' while triple locking their doors.

Tucked away in a back alley and away from the main attractions of the Strip is a little pawn shop run by, who Zaeed assumes, are the only Batarians to have a permanent residence on the Citadel. There's an old fashioned bell hanging above the door and it jingles when he walks through. It catches his attention for a moment, and he glances up at it, wondering where the aliens picked up that detail about human stores.

Behind the sales counter, a bored looking Batarian is standing with his arms crossed over his chest and glowering with all four eyes at the man in front of him.

"Come on mate," says the Australian. He's leaning over the painting, so focused on his attempts at hocking it that he either didn't hear the door bell, or isn't interested enough to turn around. Zaeed catches the gaze of the sales clerk, and holds a finger to his lips.

"I said no," the Batarian growls, looking back at the would-be customer.

"All right, fine, screw giving me what it's worth," the man continues, "we'll settle for 60% and then I can be on me way."

"You think I'm so stupid or naive I don't know stolen merch when I see it?" asks the Batarian. "I know enough about you humans and your squabbles to know there's no amount of credits worth getting involved in this kinda shit.

"Harkness, why don't you do something useful and stop pestering this poor Batarian?" Zaeed asks, interjecting only when he's close enough to Digger Harkness that the sound of his voice makes the man jump. "Bad enough the poor bastard has to walk around looking like that every day of his life, he doesn't need you coming in here and cocking everything up for him."

The Batarian sighs and rolls his eyes.

"Is it asshole human day today and no one told me?" he asks. "Oh wait, I suppose that's every day, isn't it?"

"Goddamn right it is," Zaeed says. Harkness turns around, nervousness clear on his face.

"Zaeed," he says, slowly, "well, I'll be...funny running into you out here, eh?" He reaches behind himself, fumbling his hand across the counter as he searches blindly for the painting. Zaeed is faster, and snatches it out from under him.

"Lets go," he says, gesturing towards the door. "You know why I'm here."

"Aw, c'mon-" Harkness' protest is cut short by Zaeed grabbing his wrists and slapping a pair of electrified cuffs on them. He shoves the man forward, and then tosses a credit chit down onto the counter.

"You see a couple of human males today?" he asks the Batarian. The alien grunts, considering him for a moment before reaching down and snapping up the chit.

"Been a slow day, I haven't seen anybody," he says, shrugging. Zaeed nods.

"Good man," he says. He shoves Harkness towards the door again. "Get moving."

The bell above the door rings as the two leave, and Harkness turns, walking backwards with his arms locked in front of him as he addresses Zaeed.

"Well, I'm simply stumped," he says, "can't for the life o' me figure who I pissed off enough to hire you." Zaeed says nothing, and simply motions with his pistol for him to keep walking.

Harkness faces foward and catches sight of the skycar parked at the end of the alley. It's not the best area to try and make a mad dash for freedom, but that doesn't mean he's not gonna give it a go.

"How'd you even get into the Citadel Tower to get a hold of something like this, anyway?" Zaeed asks, holding the painting up to get a good look at it. He's never understood fuck all about art and it's not one of those especially famous pieces that he'd even recognize anyway, so he doesn't bother theorizing on why it's so important to Cat's thesis.

"Oh, you know," says Harkness, "made a friend."

"Find that hard to believe," Zaeed drawls as he tucks the painting back under his arm.

"Oi, I'm quite suave when I want to be!" Harkness stops walking again, turning with a shit-eating grin on his face. "Though, some people are just easier to woo."

"Yeah, that sounds more like you, doesn't it?" Zaeed narrows his eyes. "Making a mark out of some poor girl that always sees the best in people."

Harkness blinks.

"Hang on," he breathes, "how do you know that? Don't tell me she's the one that hired you!"

"Course not," Zaeed snorts, "like I told her, she can't afford to hire me. This is a favor for a friend."

"Well shit mate! In that case, why don't you an' I work out a deal, yeah?" The grin is back, and Zaeed makes a point of ignoring him as he opens the skycar door and lays the painting in the back seat. "You ain't on an official contract, I see no reason why you an' I as two consummate professionals can't come to some sort of arrangement that benefits us both!"

"There's an exhaustive list of reasons why that won't be happening," Zaeed says, crossing his arms. "At the top of which is simply the fact that I can't goddamn stand you."

"Fair enough," says Harkness, "But Zaeed, come on, mate! As it happens right now, you're not making any money on this! That's a problem for you, and I can fix that real easy. You just slip these bracelets off me, let me be on my merry way, and recoup credits for your time. Anyone asks, I was too slippery to get a hold of, we all move on."

"No," Zaeed says. "Get in the goddamn car before I knock you out and shove you in the trunk."

Harkness groans, and bounces on the balls of his feet in frustration.

"Come on," he says again, "we both know at the end of the day lining your pockets is the only thing you really care about, so why don't you-"

Zaeed lunges faster than a half blind old merc has any right to move, and Harkness lets out a strangled yell as he punches him in the kidney with enough force to knock the wind out of him. He's wheezing as Zaeed shoves him into the alley wall, hanging onto him by the collar of his coat and lifting him off the ground.

"Listen to me, you stupid fucking jackass," Zaeed growls, "I'm not remotely young enough or stupid enough to not know exactly how you got access to Cat's office. That girl is the only person Reese knows that isn't a killer or a junkie or some fucked up combination of both, and the last thing she needs is to be caught up with likes of you and I."

Harkness says nothing as he gasps again, and waits on his lungs to remember how to take in air.

"I care about her well-being for my own selfish reasons because of her proximity to Reese, and I recognize that doesn't put me in a position of dictating to her who she spends her time with," Zaeed continues, "but so help me, you cause so much as a minor inconvenience for her and I will carve out your goddamn eyes, sew your mouth shut and sell you to Batarians as discounted slave labor, are we goddamn clear?"

Harkness manages half of a choked, garbled word and gets his head bounced off the wall for his effort.

"That didn't sound like a yes to me," Zaeed growls.

"Y-yes," he says. Zaeed slams him against the wall once more for good measure before dropping him.

"Get in the goddamn car."

******

The rental apartment Reese and Zaeed have been staying in isn't much to come home to. Far from the worst place they've ever holed up, sure, but that's never been a very high bar to begin with.

Regardless, as he pushes Harkness through the doorway and pauses long enough to set the painting down on an end table, he does reflect on the warm lightning in the corners and the smell of a beef roast being pulled out of the oven.

It's temporary and it's barely big enough for the two of them to move without tripping over each other, but it is home.

"You found it!" Cat appears in the archway to the kitchen, and Reese looks up over the counter. Their eyes glance between Zaeed and Harkness and the painting, and they quirk an eyebrow in his direction. Zaeed responds with a subtle shake of his head.

Later, he mouths, reaching up to undo the clasps on his armor.

"Wasn't too much trouble," he says aloud. "Helps when you're being sent after a goddamn moron. I should take more offers like this, actually."

"Caaaaaat," Harkness purrs. He goes to hold out his arms, and stops when he meets the resistance from the cuffs. She bypasses him entirely to scoop up the painting and make sure it hasn't been damaged.

"You know, on a hunch I looked into something on the way to the Strip," Zaeed says casually. "C-Sec has multiple active bounties on him at the moment. Cashing in on just one of them would likely pay more than, well...whatever it is you even do currently."

Harkness lets out a nervous laugh and looks between Zaeed and Cat. She sets the painting down and regards him for a moment.

"Right now I'm more worried with getting this back before anyone notices it was gone," she says, causing Harkness to puff up slightly. He winks at Zaeed, only to stop at the look the other man sends his way. "It's unlucky for me the building is locked down for the day, though..."

"Sounds to me like you could use someone who knows his way 'round security systems," Harkness offers. Zaeed snorts, and Cat frowns. Silence stretches out for a moment, broken only by the sound of Reese turning on an electric carving knife.

"Okay, fine," Cat says when they've turned the knife back off. "But know that if we get caught, I'm telling them you kidnapped me and I can cry on command."

"Well now you're just talkin' dirty to me," Harkness says.

"Really?" Reese barks from the kitchen. "Some of us still gotta eat tonight."

Zaeed remains silent and utterly unreadable as he taps at his omni-tool. The handcuffs beep a few times before popping open and falling off. Harkness massages at one of his wrists, and manages to ignore the bait when Zaeed shoves into him on the way to the kitchen.

"If we leave now we should make it in and out without too much trouble," Cat says. Reese offers a wave.

"Call me when you get in," they say, "mostly so I know if anyone's gotta kill him later."

"Sure!" says Cat. She tucks the painting safely under an arm, and drags Harkness out into the hall by the collar of his coat. The door beeps as the automatic lock powers on, and Reese turns to lean against the kitchen counter.

"What?" Zaeed asks, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of beer.

"Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not."

Reese rolls their eyes and turns their attention back to the roast. "I leave for 20 minutes to get fucking dinner, and I swear to Christ..." they say, trailing off when Zaeed reaches around and snags a slice of beef.

"You do realize she's got absolutely horrid taste in men, right?" he asks. The top of the beer bottle pops with a resounding hssss, and he flicks it across the kitchen into the garbage can.

"Yeah, well, that's just something we got in common, I guess," Reese says.

"Oi," Zaeed protests. He takes a swallow of beer and reaches for another slice of meat, then stops. "Hang on, she can cry on command?"

"Yeah, fucking wild actually," says Reese. They frown. "Why?"

Zaeed is silent for a moment as he takes another sip of beer before answering.

"Goddammit."

[oftenderweapons]

Cold Nights — Taehyung

Pairing: Taehyung x reader (nicknamed Lace)

Wordcount: 4.7k words

Genre: (mild) smut, fluff, romance

Rating: suggested 18+

Hi babes! I’m back with the Cold Nights drabbles, and after what happened in Girls’ Night, I think Taehyung’s was the story I wanted to explore the most, since the chemistry between him and Lace felt so natural and the conclusion naturally called for me to pick up the story from there. Although reading Girls’ Night is not necessary (even though I had lots of fun writing it and I selfishly took the liberty to write that before continuing with next prompt), I would highly recommend to read at least the second part, just to get the vibe of these two (you can find it here, btw.).

While Girls’ Night was written with the girls as OCs, in this case we have a classic readerxTaehyung fic.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: this is not explicitly smutty, though there are a few steamy passages (making out, teasing) and heavy flirting (mentions of masturbation). Also, Lace is a domme, as said in Girls’ Night, and the topic is discussed in this drabble too. Reader has pretty much a lot of experience in BDSM (mentions of lessons and club), and has had only one relationship, with a girl. Sexual orientation is discussed. Also, Taehyung shifts from cool kid to cute kid a lot. There’s a sprinkle of sexy driver Taehyung but also soft cuddlebug fluffy Taehyung. You can’t have one without the other, yk.

Wordcount is around 4,7k (I know, a bit long for a drabble BUT I GOT CARRIED AWAY).

Also, here is my masterlist

Enjoy!!!✨

——————————————————

Watching Taehyung drive was something incredible. He looked like a demigod from Hollywood movies from the Sixties. He was so careless, so undoubtedly timeless, so iconic and unbothered. You wanted a picture.

And his driving was excellent. He was attentive, with a soft driving style, cruising down the half empty streets like a ghost, floating, decelerating with care before coming to a stop. He seemed to stop at yellow traffic lights a lot. He took the pauses to observe you, the way light seemed to shimmer on the silver details of your leather jacket. Rummaging in your handbag, you found your lipstick and mirror, deciding to reapply the cherry tint just because you could.

He stared, mesmerised.

You were so charming.

A diva.

A muse.

He was surprised at how such a small gesture unsettled him so much, making his insides flutter with nerves and arousal. He wondered how many of your ordinary actions could turn him on. He was eager to find out. Write a list. Submit it to your scrutiny. Show you how incredibly sexy you were in his eyes even when simply checking your nails or furrowing your brow in disapproval.

“Do you wanna stay in the car or do you want to take a walk?” He asked as he took a turn.

“Oh, I don’t mind. Your choice.” You said tentatively.

“I think it would sound extremely bad if I told you I know a spot.” He chuckled and you followed.

Looking down, you bit your lip. “I think it would sound extremely bad if I told you I’d like to see your spot.” You looked at him as both your faces tinged with a shy blush and two matching mischievous grins.

“Then we’re heading out, darling.” He said, focusing again on the road.

Apparently his spot was somewhere a bit out of the city, a ten minutes drive away. The winding street led you to a small clearing with a parking lot. You had never visited there, but you noticed an octagonal pavilion. Bukak Skyway, a sign read.

“The sky is a bit clearer here,” He said. “I swear I’m not going to kill you.” He laughed. “Namjoon likes to bike all the way here. It’s a famous spot among cyclists. I have a throw in the backseat. Do you wanna go out, sit on the bonnet?” He asked, trying to break the tension.

You thought about it. Staying in the car meant less chances of being seen. And staying warm. But going out meant Taehyung being way less dangerous; the public situation keeping both of you from doing potentially inappropriate things. “Will people see?”

“Does it bother you, being seen with me?” He asked, frowning, his expression dead serious.

“I don’t want you to get in trouble or people seeing you with a girl, starting rumors.” You shrugged and furrowed your brow.

“There’s maybe six or seven people. It’s dark. I’ll be covered. No one will see, sweetie.” Taehyung reassured you. “But we can stay in the car, if you prefer.”

“Let’s go out.” You said, smiling.

“Great choice.” He pulled out his phone and exited the car, grabbing the blanket he kept in the backseat.

You also exited the car, shivering and hugging yourself at the cold bite of the night air. “Wait.” He called, wrapping the blanket around your shoulders. “We can stay in the car if you prefer.”

“Let’s watch the city lights.” You replied, a bit uncomfortable since you felt your hands reaching out for him, but changing your mind at the last minute.

“Let’s do that.” He walked to the front of his car, propping his hip against the hood. As you walked closer, he held out his hands. “May I help you?” He asked, gesturing at your waist.

You blushed and nodded. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit heavy.”

Still he placed his hands on your waist, over the blanket. “Irrelevant. You’re a lady. Let me treat you like one.” He replied, unfazed before helping you jump and sit on his car. It was low enough that a small jump was all you needed. You fixed the blanket around you before he pushed himself up and sat beside you. The front of the car was right before a short wall, delimiting the parking lot from the street winding a few metres down. The quite steep hill allowed a clear view of the skyline, stretching out in front of you without any obstacle to your sight, Seoul and its towers glimmering in a humanly mirror of the night sky above. “How has it been?” He asked.

“Good. I’ve received a commission for a wedding so I’ve been busy.” You explained. “Plus spring-summer collection has arrived at the store. We’re studying arrangements.”

“Great.” He replied. “I’ve been working a lot too.”

“The girls mentioned your schedules.” You threw in.

“Yes.” He said simply, scrolling on his phone until a soft acoustic song came on. He placed his phone down. He had a playlist for moments like this. He didn’t have one for moments like this with you, but he aspired to build one together. He simply let his favourites play.

“You’ll be leaving for Japan tomorrow.” You said, half a question.

“Yes.” He replied again, looking at the lights of the city below. “The flight is at ten am. We’re leaving the city at eight.”

“And then the tour.” You commented.

He half saw it coming. “Yes.”

You looked at the sky. It felt like an old blanket thrown over your head, so old that bugs had eaten small holes through which light came in. It felt cosy. Domestic. Confidential.

“Is that why you have been running from me?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, placing his palms together and shoving them between his knees to warm his hands.

The blanket was big enough. You scooted closer to him and tucked him in too.

He looked at you, at your small gesture of affection, your eyes meeting. You simply smiled as your arm pressed against his, shoulder to elbow. “I’ll be very honest, Taehyung.”

One more thing about you that turned him on: the way your lips curled around the second syllable of his name.

“I like you.” He said, direct and shameless, spelling the words with such certainty and determination that your heart lost a beat. Seeing it written on screen was nothing similar to hearing him actually say it.

“I like you too.” You replied.

He smiled and looked down, acting like a coy schoolboy. 

“However, I think there is stuff you need to know.” You took a small pause to gather and organise your thoughts. “This tour thing scares me. I want to build something strong, something long term. I can’t do flings, Taehyung.”

“It’s okay. We can get to know each other and see if it works.” He replied, already trying to convince you to give him just one chance.

“We don’t have the luxury of time, though. You’ll be gone for how long? Two months?”

“Seven weeks.” He replied composedly and efficiently.

“And we have what? Four weeks between Japan and the Asian tour?”

“I’ll be in Korea until mid-May, then we actually start travelling.” He said, like a scolded puppy.

“That’s five weeks. And I doubt you’ll have time when you’re working for the concerts.” You objected. “You see how awful the timing is?”

“We can take it slow, see each other and hang out. No need for fancy, big things. We can do this.” He said, gesturing at your current location and activity. “No dating, no stuff. Simply getting to know each other.”

You bit your lip, frowning. “I’ll grow fond of you.” You said.

“Isn’t that the final goal?” He asked cheekily.

Your voice shook a little. “I don’t want to get used to you and see you leave.”

His eyes were wide and sweet when he met your gaze. “Well, I can promise you I’ll text, and call, and I know it’s not like being there, but we can use the distance to see how we handle stuff when we’re apart.”

“Isn’t it too early to be apart, a few weeks into a… an acquaintance?” You said, searching for the word.

“We’ll see if we miss each other like friends or more.” He said, trying to make everything sound sane and reasonable.

You looked at the city. How many people were out there, alone? How many girls were dreaming of being right here, right now, with him? “You’re dangerous for me, Taehyung.” You said, already feeling how easily he could manipulate you. “I would let you do wrong things to me. Because I like you that much.” You murmured.

“I promise I would never do anything to hurt you.” He said, turning to fully look at you. “I’ll make sure we don’t cross the line.” He said, and in that moment all the passion and the excitement and the arousal suffocated, tamed in his chest and stomach. It felt like turning an inferno into a candlelight. He would keep hormones at bay to grant himself a chance. He knew how fast the tour could go by. “We’ll go out. On walks. We could do this again, or we could go out early, watch the sunrise from Bukhansan. Whatever. I just wanna spend time with you. Give you a chance to know me.” He nuzzled into the blanket, but he was secretly looking for your perfume, trying to take in all the small details that made you you.

You let the conversation slip before trying to direct it on the topic that was worrying you the most. Gathering your courage, you spoke. “You aren’t curious about my bag, in the apartment?” You asked.

“If you were comfortable with it, you would tell. No need to ask you about it.” He shrugged. “I have nothing against it. I think everyone has their reasons. And there’s nothing strange or shameful about it. You like it? Good for you.” He smiled, not a pinch of malice in his voice or expression.

“I took lessons of several techniques of domming in a BDSM club here in Seoul.”

“So you’re a dominatrix?” Taehyung asked, his expression warm, as if he were asking about your hobby or the weather.

“Yes, but I’m not active anymore. If I wanted, I could be one.” You tried to explain yourself,

“What do you mean?”

“It means I have the technical and practical preparation but I haven’t participated in a scene in a while.”

“How long.” He asked, still chatting about it neutrally. 

“About… four months.” You counted them. “Yeah.”

“How did you decide to take lessons?”

You laughed at the memory. “A woman recommended I tried after my yoga classes were disappointing. I started learning and I found out I liked that. Back then I was in a very vulnerable moment. I wanted to enter university and study business, so that I could build a firm out of the atelier, you know. Unfortunately, I didn’t pass. I grew desperate, started eating a lot out of stress and gained a lot of weight. Not only I felt like I was losing my dream but also my reality. I was literally one of those skeletrical models before, and then with all the weight I gained…” You gestured at your body.

“But it helped you, the course I mean.” Taehyung ignored your reference to your body.

“Yes. After a year I was even more confident than when I was skinny and full of dreams. I got healthy again. And with the confidence boost and the new attitude I managed to enter an online university, which was more suitable since I was already working both at the shop and at the club.” You smiled. “Plus I liked the sense of control and peace you need when you’re involved in a scene.”

He nodded. “I’m happy it all worked out.” He nodded some more before his mind produced one more question. “Is domination a non-negotiable aspect of your relationships?” He asked.

“No, I think. My first partner was a girl I had met at the club, but after that I didn’t ever mix the two.”

He didn’t even react to the fact, he simply took it in. He would never judge and he himself was not the type to consider gender a determining factor in terms of sexual attraction. Although he was a bit worried you were attracted to women exclusively. What if you would never like him like that?

You continued. “I had a few dates, never anything serious. And of course, I taught and I took part in scenes at the club, but it never led to sex.” You explained. “Sexual attraction is a tricky concept to me, I think.”

“So you’ve had just one relationship?” He asked, his expression neutral, however his slightly raised eyebrows gave away a bit of surprise.

“Yes.” You replied.

“With a girl?” He asked again.

“Yup.” You confirmed, nodding.

“But you’ve slept with men too, right?” He said.

You grinned. “Are you trying to make sure you’re the first?” You teased.

“I’m just asking. I don’t want to—” He shook his head. “I just need to know that you like me. Sexually speaking.”

You shook your head in disbelief. Little do you know. “I do. I think gender has little to do with actual attraction. I don’t think labels are important.”

“I agree on that.” He said, nodding, biting his lip.

“And I’m really attracted to you.” You took a big breath. “I might say something inappropriate, but—” You laughed embarrassedly. “I don’t mind domming. I like it. I’ve been doing it for a while, I’m familiar and it feels comfortable, but I’ve never felt the kind of attraction that makes me want to bend over backward for someone.” You paused. Took a deep breath. Continued. “Having this thing, with you… It’s something I’m not comfortable with. Because I feel you’re so much stronger than me that I don’t even want to put up a fight.”

He looked at the city. 

He looked at you. You were rubbing your hands together out of embarrassment and the night chill. You placed one around the base of your neck, rubbing your wrist with the other in an attempt to warm yourself. You were so unbelievably beautiful. 

He tsked and smiled. “Stop beating around the bush, sweetheart. It doesn’t suit you. What do you really want to say?”

You frowned. “I’m not comfortable saying it.” You murmured.

A chill piano piece started playing from his phone, a warm, tender voice of a woman mixing up with it.

“Okay. I can’t make you do it.” He pouted and nodded, looking away in the distance. “You know I’ve liked you since I first saw you. And there’s little you can say or do to push me away.”

You exhaled and tried to explain yourself. This was exactly the reason why Taehyung was dangerous. He asked, you delivered. “I have rarely felt attraction for someone because I’ve rarely found someone stronger, bolder, smarter than me. But then I started talking to you.” You shook your head in disbelief at your own confession. “You make me want to do things I’ve never craved before. And you being more powerful than me makes me want to let you take control.” You took a pause. “It makes me want to submit to you.”

He turned. “Is that why you need time? You want to get used to this?”

He is so smart. So attuned to people’s feelings and thoughts. He might as well be a mentalist.

“Yes.” You confirmed.

“And you want to get to know me to see if you can trust me?” He asked.

“Yes.” You confirmed again.

“I get it.” He nodded. “It must be something new, to see things from a new perspective. You said you feel uncomfortable. Does it make you feel bad, this thing with me?” He asked gently.

“I’m afraid of people finding out of the club, bringing it up, using it against you.” You admitted.

He shook his head. “What are the chances?”

“I used a nickname, and we have strict non-disclosure agreements. The place is often dark and sometimes we use masks, but I couldn’t use those when teaching. Anyway, there are pretty famous and powerful people in the club. I think it’s in everyone’s interest to keep mouths shut. Still.” You shrugged. “I want to protect you, Tae.”

His eyes turned into sweet, dark pools. “I don’t care.” He stated. “For now it’s not an issue. I’ll talk to our lawyer, see if there are any potential troubles with this. We both have the duty to protect each other.” He stated with certainty. “And once we’re sure and if this becomes more, then we’ll find a way.”

You felt warm in your chest. It felt good to be protected. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for opening up, darling.” He caressed your cheek tenderly, smiling at you.

You smiled back and looked down, away from his intense gaze.

He moved his hand away. “So you want to sleep with me?”

You laughed. “Sleeping is not the word I would use, no.”

“Which one?” He said.

“Which one would I use?” You asked, trying to clear up his request. Sometimes he spoke so cryptically.

He hummed in confirmation.

“I would say…” You thought about it. “I would say ‘spend the night’.”

“We could spend the night here. Talking until we have no secrets left to say. The night is amazing for secrets.” He mused.

“What about your flight tomorrow?” You asked, suddenly serious.

“Let’s go back to secrets and spending the night.” He said, trying to make his incumbent dark thoughts evaporate.

“What about them?” You were both staring at the city lights. Seoul felt so far away. Like a hologram. Or maybe like for a moment you had been subtracted from that world. Like you were stuck into a mirror, where nothing really, truly happens. Where people could see possibilities and daydreams, an alternative reality in which everyone could have a fragment of fictitious life. You felt like a mirage, ready to turn into dust, sand and smoke, a bizarre refraction of light.

Taehyung turned and stared at you. “I’m dreaming you won’t disappear, once morning comes. That this won’t be just a fantasy.”

It all turned even less real when his phone started playing a ballad about lights and stars.

“I won’t disappear.” You whispered back.

He looked at the city. “I need to tell you a secret.”

You turned with an arched eyebrow and an upturned pout.

Adorable, he thought. He leaned in towards your ear. “I’ve been asking myself if you had a fling with Namjoon and Vixen for the whole night. It feels good to hear that you like me.”

You were so close. Apparently being out in the open air, in a very public space had done little to keep things appropriate.

“I have a secret too.” You whispered, so close to his face. To his lips. You leaned in closer to his ear. “I have no fling with them. I’ve had no one for months. Years, if you exclude the scenes at the club — and I never had sex during those — and I’ve never had a man. I can’t wait to feel ready to give in to you. I promise I just need some time. Be patient and I’ll make it worthy. I swear.” You confessed, so raw with emotion.

He looked at you, inscrutable at first; then his face melted with wonder and joy. “All the time you need, darling.”

You smiled.

You both turned to look at the city. And then you turned to look at him. He was so beautiful. Glowing. Happy. Meditative and cool, like an indifferent god. Like Seoul could suddenly switch off with a general black out, and he wouldn’t even notice. He would just smile and cheer for the stars glowing brighter.

“I have another secret, Taehyung.” You murmured. He simply brought his ear to his lips, his gaze still focused away. You licked your lip and whispered, “I feel like if you kissed me now, I would literally glow in happiness.”

He turned to look at you. “Isn’t it going too fast?” He asked before shaking his head. “I mean, I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I’m sure.”

He looked in the distance again. You frowned and took it as a ‘no’.

And then he turned, cupping your cheek, rubbing his thumb against your cheekbone. His hand could cover half of your face. It was enormous. You didn’t let your brain go that way. “I’m going to be sweet. Stop me whenever.” He murmured, before pecking your lips with his.

It was so short and light you almost didn’t feel it. Still, the tingling on your lips was a living trace of it, like stardust had inadvertently brushed over your skin. His body turned into a furnace beside you, or maybe you had suddenly warmed up when he pressed his lips to yours more insistently. “I’m gonna go harder at this.” He spoke on your lips.

Fuck, it was so sweet of him to tell you. He felt so gentle. Even when he started nibbling on your lower lip, encasing it between his lips, sucking it gently before pecking your mouth with his. The moment you held his upper lip between yours, tugging at it gently with your teeth, he lost control and moaned, letting your tongue tease the tip of his. His hand disappeared into your hair, pulling you close. His mouth forced yours to open as your lips crushed together, your tongues intertwining in a sensual and suasive dance made of twirls and small licks. Your hand flew to his hair, caressing his nape, the other one meeting his waist, turning him towards you.

Your whole body was on fire. The night felt so alight, so filled with possibilities now that even this was happening, too. It felt like the most appropriate time to begin something in the quiet and secrecy that the loving, protecting darkness allowed you.

His right hand appeared on your thigh, placed there gently, not gripping, not exploring. Simply staying, existing in that strange, assertive way Taehyung exists, like he is a totem standing in the middle of time and space, piercing them together, one to the other.

Your breath was laboured once you parted. His hand moved up, to your waist. He couldn’t resist from feeling the fleshy, material reality of this late night daydream, its real consistency. He let you breathe, nudging his lips against yours. “Another.” He whispered, diving in again.

And you let him. If this was the way he intended to do things with you, hell yes, you would let him.

His lips were soft, wet and warm, perfect around yours. He started alternating between your lower and upper lip, his hand finally grabbing the flesh of your waist, tugging you into him.

You pulled at the hair on his nape delicately, trying to part from him. It felt atrocious but it was necessary. Your judgement was beginning to get clouded. You should stop. “Tae, baby. Let’s take a moment.”

He nodded, pressing his forehead to yours and parting from you with a small peck on the corner of your mouth. “Sorry.” He murmured.

“Nothing to be sorry about. It feels amazing.” You smiled, caressing him on his neck. “I’m just cold. And I think it’s better if I head home before I do stuff I could regret.”

He looked a bit lost. “Would you regret getting carried away with me?” He asked, worried.

“No.” You replied without hesitation. “And that’s the problem.” You kissed his lips chastely. “But getting carried away is different from trusting you and willingly, consciously giving you everything I have.” You kissed him again, caressing his hair off his forehead, fixing his beanie. “And that’s the way I want it with you.” You bent to his ear. “I want to say ‘yes, sir’ to your every request. I want you to do to me everything you want. I want you to own me so fully that I’ll beg you to use me for your pleasure.” You whispered in his ear, slowly, the words getting tangled up in a net that you hoped would capture him and convince him.

His deep moan made you chuckle lightly, brushing your mouth against his. At this, his tongue lashed out, the tip curling around your lower lip. “I’m so drunk on you.” He growled. “I want you so much.”

You shook your head faintly, touching his face, the light stubble giving you the strange certainty that he was real, there, in front of you. “I know. I promise I’ll repay your patience in kind.” You looked at him intensely, trying to show him just how much you wanted him too. “I’ll repay generously, too.”

His eyes closed, his face nuzzling into your neck. “I don’t want to let you go just yet. I’m afraid this will turn out to be a one time thing.”

As your earring got caught in his beanie, you had a sudden eureka. “Sit up, Tae.” You said gently.

He got wide eyed and pouty for a second before wearing his poker face and obeying your command. Cupping his face, you smiled at him. “Let me.” You caressed his cheeks as you moved your hands away, bringing them to your earlobe and unlatching one of your earrings. It was a simple pearl surrounded by small rhinestones. Carefully you moved it to his naked ear, delicately pushing the needle through the tiny hole, securing it in the back with the clasp.

Looking at him, you smiled, biting your lip. “You’ll give it back on our next date.” You said, blushing softly, looking at him through your lashes.

Slowly his lips curled up, forming the cutest shy smile you had ever seen.

“My pretty boy.” You said, fixing the small lock of hair coming out of his beanie and framing his face. He wrapped his arms around your middle and hid his face in your neck.

“Thank you.” He said, simply.

“It’s okay, tiger cub.” You quipped back playfully.

Still blushing, he parted from you. “We should go, you’re shivering.” He said, jumping off the bonnet. “Come on.” He grinned at you.

God, you had a crush.

You followed him, still wrapped in his blanket, quickly opening the car and sitting, rubbing your hands together to muster some warmth to them.

He entered next to you and started the car, turning the AC on. He reached across the seats, grabbing your hands and rubbing them in his. “We should have stayed in.” He whispered.

“But the view...” You objected.

He smiled, bringing your joined hands to his lips, placing small kisses all over them. His lips were so hot.

“You’re right.” He smiled, placing your hands on his knee as he looked around, backing the car out of the parking lot and starting your drive back home. “You should insert your address on the GPS.” He murmured, his eyes glued on the road ahead.

“You sure? I can take pub—”

“Don’t you even dare. I’ll be sleeping on the plane. I can drive you.” He rumbled.

You raised your eyebrows and did as he told you.

“It’s just ten minutes from the dorms. Fifteen from my apartment.” He commented, noticing your address.

You shrugged and hid into your shoulders. “Thank you for driving me.”

“I’m being selfish.” He grinned, his eyes still on the road. “This way I’ll have you close for longer.”

Grinning, your sank into the seat. The drive was uneventful. Your left hand moved back onto his knee, his hand joining yours every now and then. 

Seeing your building appear brought a bit of disappointment. You had grown used to the warmth of the car, the low background music, the comfort of the fabric of his jeans under your palm.

“This is yours?” He asked, looking at the small five-floor building with a restaurant down below.

You hummed in approval.

“Any parking spot close?” He asked. “I only want to accompany you to your door. No fancy business.” He promised.

“There’s the alley — wait left now!” You announced hurriedly.

He did so quickly. The neighbourhood was quiet and thankfully the sudden turn didn’t cause any inconvenience.

Still, he managed to drive smoothly, finding a row of parked cars and following the order. “Here we go.”

You grabbed your bag and moved the blanket on the seat as you exited the car.

He quickly moved around the car, grabbing your hand. “I don’t think anyone will see us. Or recognise me.” He said, following your lead.

“Here we are.” You said, awkwardly standing in front of the entrance to your building in a slight penumbra which eased your nerves a little.

“When will I see you again?” He asked eagerly.

“After Japan.” You said, smiling.

“We’ll be back Thursday next week, around midday.” He said. “Would you be free in the afternoon? I have a friend in a gallery who could book us a late private tour.” He explained.

You laughed and tried to recall your shift. You could find an agreement with your colleagues anyway. “Then I’ll see you on Thursday.”

“Good.” He said, with his signature serious look.

Just to give him a sweet goodbye, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his, without allowing him to deepen the kiss.

“Oh, come on.” He whispered, chasing your mouth with his, eyes closed. “More.” He whined.

You let him. His mouth met yours again, both his and your lips immediately parting to melt in that same scorching desire. Your arms were already wrapping around his frame.

“Let me go.” You murmured.

“You let me go, miss octopus.” He teased. You stayed in each others arms for a few seconds, your bag abandoned at your feet. You stared in silence before he spoke. “I’ll be thinking about this all night.” He said, cupping your nape and pressing a bunch of small kisses on your mouth.

“Me too.” You moved your lips closer to his ear. “My hands will probably be between my legs while I do so.”

He snarled and groaned against your ear. “You’re a tease.” His hand palmed your hip heavily. His voice was husky when he spoke again. “Am I allowed to think of you when I touch myself?” He asked.

You chuckled and exhaled seducingly along the crook of his neck. “As long as you tell me what you were thinking about when you cum.”

He exhaled a breathy laugh. “We’re taking this slow, I see.”

“I can’t go any slower with you.” You looked into his eyes, releasing your arms from around him. “Sweet dreams, tiger.” You said, saluting him and picking up your bag before entering your building.

“Goodnight, nymph.” He replied, shaking his head in disappointment and at the same time smiling at your teasing nature.

You both stayed up all night, thinking about the night you’ll be finally staying up together.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #239: Late Night of the Super-Stars!

January, 1984

1984! Can’t wait to make a bunch of Orwell jokes that are poorly thought out and land poorly!

But I guess it’ll have to wait since we’re on Late Night with David Letterman in this issue.

This sure is an interesting turn of events. Although the team we see on the cover doesn’t seem to be the actually active roster. They’re over in the corner box turned away - either from shame or because they’re off doing their own thing.

Because its Assistant Editors’ Month!

A fun-sounding non-event. Although, looking it up, very few books that were considered part of the event actually did anything with it beyond a slightly goofy issue box on the cover.

So we’re going to see some Avengers go on a talk show today.

Superheroes as celebrities! What a novel idea.

Anyway, I learned an interesting detail about the cover that would have totally missed me. The checkerboard strip at the top was a hallmark of DC comics around this time. And the round MC logo in the top right is an obvious spoof of the DC logo from this time.

It’s not much more than a goof for this book but the Captain America book released for Assistant Editors’ Month also had the checkerboard and logo and was a style parody of DC comics.

Last times: Vision went into a robo-coma from walking into an invisible dome created by Annihilus and only recently recovered the ability to talk. New Avenger Starfox hooked Vision up to ISAAC the Titan computer and overclocked Vision’s robot brain so now he can project himself as a hologram and has an even faster computer brain. At the end of Avengers #238, the Avengers got a call from Tigra about some nonsense going on in San Francisco involving Spider-Woman.

Meanwhile, Hawkeye got a whole miniseries all to himself where he met Mockingbird, lost his job at Cross Technological, his girlfriend revealed that she was paid to date him and also hated him, he teamed up with Mockingbird to uncover an evil scheme by Crossfire to kill all superheroes, Hawkeye lost his hearing by putting an ultrasonic arrowhead in his mouth but foiled the scheme plot, and married Mockingbird. He’s had a very busy week or so!

This time: Hawkeye comes back to the Avengers Mansion to show off his cool new wife.

Hawkeye: “Hey, everybody -- your wanderin’ boy Hawkeye has come home... And you’ll never guess what I’ve gone and done!”

I can just imagine Mockingbird replying “Me” with the biggest shit-eating grin. She feels the sort to do that.

When Hawkeye and Mockingbird arrive there’s no one to greet them except the floating disembodied hologram head of the Wizard of Vizh.

Hawkeye has also made the decision, for some reason, to not wear the hearing aid that Mockingbird got him so he can’t hear what Vision is saying when he compliments his new costume.

Mockingbird introduces herself for Hawkeye and Vision tells the two to join him in the medical labs so they can catch up.

When they arrive, Vision raises his volume so Hawkeye can hear and recaps everything that’s happened to lead up to him becoming a robot in a tube who can hologram around.

Vision: “[Starfox] set up a direct link between ISAAC, the world-computer of Titan, to better diagnose my condition. But, instead, my brain became overloaded with ISAAC’s energy-information matrix --!”

Hawkeye: “And you became several with the universe, right?”

Vision: “‘Several with the’ --? Oh -- hah-ha! Very witty!”

Overclocking his brain seems to have done wonders for Vision’s sense of humor.

He even finds Hawkeye funny now.

Vision also explains where the dickens everyone else is (because Hawkeye asks him where the dickens they are. Its so weird for Hawkeye to say dickens).

Jarvis was given the day off to visit his mother, Captain America and Thor are both busy with nonsense in their own books, and the rest of the Avengers are off to San Francisco because of that call from Tigra.

Hawkeye offers to fly out and give them a hand, which Vision declines since they’ll call if they need help.

Instead he asks Hawkeye how he met Mockingbird and Hawkeye recaps the miniseries in only five panels.

He’s better at this than I am...

Hawkeye: “Anyway, Mockingbird and I had made a pretty good team -- so when it was all over, we ran off and got married!”

Mockingbird: “What can I say? The big lug needed somebody to keep him out of trouble!”

That’s the task of a lifetime, Bobbi. But good for you two! Cute couple is what I say.

Vision: “Marvelous! I hope you two will be as happy together as Wanda and I have been!"

Vision and Scarlet Witch probably are the healthiest superhero marriage of this time.

Vision asks if Hawkeye and Mockingbird intend to stay in the mansion, which they do. But it’s cool because Mockingbird has security clearance from working with SHIELD so they won’t need to bother Mr. Sikorsky and agitate his hatred of living in the superhero genre.

After Hawkeye takes Mockingbird off on a tour of the mansion, Vision receives a call from his brain brother, Wonder Man.

Who, very reluctantly, is coming to the Avengers with hat in hand. So to speak.

Wonder Man: “Okay. Here’s the situation -- my acting career hasn’t been going anywhere lately! So my agent, without my approval -- used the fact that I’m a reserve Avenger to get me a booking on David Letterman’s show, and now, they want me to bring other Avengers along with me! My agent really put me in a tight spot on this one. I hate to impose, but -- !”

Vision: “It’s no imposition at all, Simon! I’ll personally call the network and confirm the Avengers’ appearance!”

Wonder Man: “You’re sure it’s no trouble?”

Vision: “None whatsoever! After all, we have many Avengers -- !”

You sure do! Not as many as you’ll have by the No Surrender days. But still.

Also, I love this can-do attitude from you, Vision!

This is a pretty low priority in terms of fighting crime and whatnot but Vision is like THIS IS EXTREMELY DOABLE, I AM THE INTERNET.

Although imagine how sad it is from Wonder Man’s perspective. His agent put him on the spot pulling sorta-rank to get Simon some media attention but the media is like ‘ok but do you have something better?’

This man is trying to improve his career and the David Letterman show looked at him and said ‘ok but what else have you got?’

Oof!

Anyway, Vision uses the superpower of being wired into the phone system to call up some extra Avengers who aren’t very busy right now.

He calls Black Panther, Beast, and Black Widow.

Their varied responses are pretty funny.

But Black Panther’s is probably the best. He interrupts a meeting with his advisers to take the call and then he’s like ‘yeah sure I can drop everything I’m doing to appear on David Letterman!’

T’Challa really would rather be doing anything but kinging.

Beast initially protests that he’s too busy with the Defenders to just jump on some Avengers business but...

Beast: “The Letterman show? Hey, why didn’t you say so?”

And Black Widow is unbusy sunbathing at the Waldorf Towers while between missions. She doesn’t really want to make a television appearance (it’s kinda counterproductive for a spy, I would guess) but Vision mentions something that has Natasha agree to be there.

Based on what happens later, I guess Vision mentions that Hawkeye will be there.

A couple hours later, ELSEWHERE, well if it isn’t our ol’ friend and punchline Fabian Stankowicz!

Remember this goofus? He attacked the Avengers right when everyone was feeling bad about Hank Pym? Iron Man easily beat him up while the rest of the Avengers breezed on by. Or when he attacked Wasp’s cool superheroine brunch? Which was a hilariously terrible idea because he got between She-Hulk and breakfast foods. Also, nobody took him very seriously there either.

I guess the Avengers didn’t bother to press charges either time because he’s not in jail. He’s at his home working on some machines while his dad criticizes how he spends his time.

Dads, amirite?

Granted, what he’s criticizing is Fabian’s tendency to pick fights with superheroes. And... granted. Not a great use of his time.

But apparently Fabian can afford all the robot suits he keeps attacking the Avengers with because he won the lottery.

So he has a pretty good position to shoot down his dad’s protests, really.

Dad Stankowicz: “Fabian, I’m glad your poor mother didn’t live to see what’s become of you... It would’ve broken her heart!”

Fabian Stankowicz: “Aw, gimme a break, old man!”

Dad Stankowicz: “‘Old man’? This is the way you talk to your father?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “What do you want, egg in your beer? Was it you who won the state lottery and got us out of the Bronx? No, it was me! I won the money, and I’ll say how it’s spent! And I’m gonna use it to make a name for myself! Me... Fabian Stankowicz!”

And when Fabian sees an ad saying that the Avengers will be on Late Night with David Letterman, he has an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

Also, who the heck puts egg in beer?

I’ve looked it up and I get that it’s a saying but apparently the saying is based on people actually doing that! Why??

The next afternoon, at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, where the show 30 Rock and this issue of Avengers both happen, this issue of Avengers is happening.

A CBS page shows Black Widow to the green room where the other Avengers are already waiting.

Also: I know that it’s all the Avengers who weren’t busy (even though T’Challa really should have been?) but this is a fun roster.

Hawkeye, Wonder Man, Beast, Black Widow and Panther?

Heck, I could imagine this being the Marvel equivalent of the Justice League International team, one more geared for some light-hearted comedy?

Except we’re in 1984 so this predates that.

But you have Beast and Wonder Man, your comedy duo best buds. You have Black Panther and Widow being varying levels of straight man to the nonsense. And you have Hawkeye who can be very serious or very ridiculous depending on how hot-headed he’s being at the time.

This team could be hilarious!

(Avengers International. Think about it, Marvel.)

Outside the green room, our ol’ buddy ol’ punching bag, Fabian Stankowicz is in disguise as a repairman with a mustache as cover for installing some devices in the studio. Then he puts on a beard to disguise himself as Perfectly Normal Bearded Audience Member.

I appreciate his intiative although I doubt any of the present Avengers are gonna recognize this guy on sight even if he wore a t-shirt that said “I’m Fabian Stankowicz.”

Fabian Stankowicz: Boy, this is gonna be so sweet, especially after the way the Avengers made me look like a chump those last two times! This time, it’s gonna be different! This time, I’m going to have a ringside seat for the defeat of the Avengers!

Or at least the Avengers that were available to show up on the Tonight Show with David Letterman.

Y’know, I like Fabian Stankowicz. He’s just smart enough to be dangerous and dumb enough to be entertaining. I think there’s a place for an ineffectual doofus with delusions of grandeur in the foe Rolodex of any superhero team.

Meanwhile, back with said Whoever Was Availables, Black Widow and Mockingbird are meeting for the first time.

And luckily, they’re both mature adults who don’t act like you’d usually see in media when the missus meets the ex.

So with a fight to the death NOT happening in the green room, Hawkeye gets to asking Mockingbird about the errand he sent her on which was why she wasn’t in the room when Black Widow first showed up.

Presumably using every bit of skill in espionage at her disposal, Mockingbird got a copy of the questions Letterman will be asking during the show.

Because Hawkeye will be fielding the questions and he has made the decision not to wear his hearing aid. And has also made the follow-up decision that not only will he not be hearing anything tonight, he’s also definitely going to be fielding all the questions.

Mockingbird: “Why won’t you wear a hearing aid?”

Hawkeye: “No can do, sweetheart! The fewer people who know I’m half-deaf, the safer it’ll be for all of us!”

(I don’t really get this reasoning but okay, man)

Mockingbird: “Then why not let someone else be spokesman? This is supposed to be Wonder Man’s big night!”

Hawkeye: “Sure... but I’m the only active Avenger here! Give me a kiss for luck!”

Not for nothing does Mockingbird think that he can be impossible sometimes. And she’s only known him a couple weeks! She’s already come to the correct read on him in that short a time.

David Letterman starts the show with an opening monologue.

David Letterman: ��Tonight... What can I say? Tonight is something really special! In fact, it’s probably the most special show we’ve had since our 'camping with Barry White’ program! Yes... hard to believe, isn’t it? But with all due respect to Mr. White -- I think that this show may be our greatest ever. But, as they say, ‘that’s for history to decide!’”

Imagine being a talk show host and getting to introduce the Avengers. Pretty neat.

I like that bandleader Paul Shaffer is wearing a Captain America jersey. Although that makes me wonder once again what merchandising is like for Marvel superheroes. 

Clearly it exists but did Cap sign off on a jersey mimicking his costume? Does he see any money from that? Or at least did he get to say that all profit goes to such and such charity?

Letterman introduces the Avengers for the audience.

(Fun how you can get a sense of their personality just by how they’re sitting. It’s the little touches that make a comic fun.)

Hm, I wonder how well the marvel public follows superhero roster changes.

I know that sometimes new Avengers rosters have gotten attention with press conferences and everything. And sometimes they just swap in and out members as personal business comes up.

Some of the people in the audience may not even recognize Black Widow as an Avenger. Becaaaaause, wait I don’t think she ever was one. She’s assisted on some missions and they were ready to vote her in when she vanished to go do a SHIELD mission.

Okay, better example, does anyone remember that Wonder Man- oh wait, he very publicly burst out of a crate in front of Avengers Mansion during press furor over a roster change. Also, he’s a pre-successful actor.

Black Pan- no, no. He was framed for killing the Avengers his very first day on the team. There was a manhunt.

And of course, everyone knows Beast was on the Avengers. He got around. Romantically.

David Letterman mentions that this group isn’t even all the Avengers because some couldn’t make it (read: were busy with more important things).

Which leads to a funny cut to audience where Beard Fabian is annoyed that this group is who got caught in his revenge scheme.

Fabian Stankowicz: Blast it, where’s Captain America? Where’s that &#%$ She-Hulk?

You better wash your brain out with soap before She-Hulk finds out you thought  that about her. She’s dunked people into the garbage for lesser offenses.

Beast decides that this Late Night interview is the best time to reveal that he’s quitting as a reservist Avenger to focus on his version of the Defenders.

Letterman: “Wow, that was some bombshell the Beast just dropped, Hawkeye! You’re group spokesman... What do you think of that?”

Hawkeye: First question -- ! “Well, David, the Avengers is a non-profit organization, fully sanctioned as a peace-keeping force by just about ever international organization you could think of!”

Letterman: “Eh-heh-heh! You don’t say!”

Oh god, Beast’s bombshell messed up the order of questions and Hawkeye is firmly sticking to script because he can’t hear.

My god, Hawkeye.

Letterman: “You know, I was just about to ask you something along those lines. You wouldn’t be psychic by any chance -- ?”

Hawkeye: “No, of the founding members, only the Wasp and Thor remain as active Avengers.”

Letterman: “You little dickens! You’ve been peeking at my question sheet, haven’t you? All right, I might as well as my next question which is... ‘I hear you were recently married! Is that true?’”

Hawkeye: “Yes, Dave... just a few weeks ago!”

Letterman: “How about that!”

Did Hawkeye just think they were going to blaze through the questions? Even if Beast hadn’t preempted the first question, did Hawkeye think that there would be no follow-up questions? No discussion?

I’ve been on the fence on whether the jokes about Hawkeye not hearing the questions are poking fun at deaf people or at Hawkeye and yeah, Hawkeye is definitely the butt of this joke.

Fabian Stankowicz loses patience for this very dry question and answer session and decides to start his attack nnnnow.

One of the studio cameras is secretly A GIANT LASER. Because. And it blasts the stage.

Mockingbird is watching this on a tiny screen in the Green Room and goes out to help only to run afoul of some kind of mechanized steamrolling dumpster.

Back in the studio, Wonder Man has found his new nemesis.

Move over, Grim Reaper. You’re one-dimensional and everyone especially me hates you. Hello, laser blasting camera.

Wonder Man: “Let me at that thing, Beast! It’s ruining my guest-shot!”

Beast: “You’ll have to wait your turn, Wondy! It just shredded my favorite shirt!”

Priorities!

You know, this was supposed to be about Wonder Man and he only got to say two words during the interview portion.

Dangit, Hawkeye.

Apppppparently, the audience is just assuming that this is all part of the show. A cliche, sure. But it makes sense.

Would you really have the Avengers on a talk show and just have them talk? That’s a waste of perfectly good superheroes.

Also.... apparently? David Letterman used to run things over with a steamroller a lot? So a steamroller looking contraption crashing through the wall to attack the Avengers does seem like something that might happen?

Also, Paul Shaffer decides to just roll with it so as not to panic the audience.

The show must go on, after all.

The steamroller also starts firing missiles at Beast, as ya do.

Beast: “Hunter missiles? I don’t believe this is happening on network tv!”

Wonder Man tries punching the steamroller to no avail but which does give Black Panther a chance to pull out the tried and true “Wonder Man’s fists carry as much bludgeoning power as Thor’s hammer!”

Y’know, originally, that was a flex that set Wonder Man as a threat to the team but after he joined, that never really seemed to actually be the case.

Imagine if Wonder Man always hit as hard as Thor’s hammer? Like, he’s minding his own business and then the Gorr the God Butcher arc happens and Wonder Man is like ‘huh, why do I suddenly feel like my punches could destroy planets light years away? That’s a very specific feeling!’

Fabian Stankowicz takes advantage of the spectacle chaos to walk out of the audience, plunk himself down into one of the interview chairs, remove his entirely convincing beard, and introduce himself to David Letterman as the guy who is definitely to blame for all the action setpieces going on.

Letterman, like Paul Shaffer, just decides to roll with it. Humor the guy. Ask him why he’s doing this.

Fabian Stankowicz: “Why? To prove it could be done! To show what one incredibly gifted individual can accomplish...”

Letterman: “... To get your name in the papers?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “That too! After all, the Avengers have battled Zodiac... the Masters of Evil... Doctor Doom! I want to make as big a name for myself as those guys!”

Letterman: “Seems to me that ‘Stankowicz’ is already a pretty big name!”

Badum pish?

He asks Fabian to explain all of his devices and Fabian is happy too.

I mean, he’s being a supervillain for the notoriety and supervillains already love to hear themselves talk so he’s double dipping into the ‘I will exposit everything at the drop of a hat’ well.

And imagine, Fabian built all this stuff in his garage with lottery winnings.

The steamroller thing isn’t just a steamroller, it’s also got a gravity generator. Which, I guess, makes sense if you’re expecting to go against a She-Hulk or a Thor. A regular steamroller isn’t going to do more than annoy.

Wonder Man fighting so hard against the roller makes it increase gravity so much that Simon and steamroller just fall through the floor.

Hm. I wonder what’s filmed in the studios the floor down. They’re about to have an exciting guest star in that steamroller.

Black Widow (still tangling with the laser camera) points Hawkeye towards Fabian. Although she has to shout and Hawkeye still doesn’t really get it but is happy to shoot an arrow at someone that Black Widow is vigorously gesturing at.

Alas, Fabian is one of those prepared villains we’ve been hearing so much about.

He built a force field too, and the arrow just bounces right off.

(Hey, uh, Hawkeye? What kind of arrow was that? Because it looks technological and you just shot it at this guy’s head)

Truly, can nothing stop this insidious yet not very menacing criminal genius?

Oh, I guess David Letterman can.

Knocks him out with a big knob.

It’s just plain big.

Prop comedy, amirite?

The audience seems to love it anyway. I looked up a clip of the big doorknob and it didn’t meet with this much applause. Maybe its because it was used to do violence this time?

Was the giant door knob a beloved part of Late Show lore?

David Letterman: “I guess that’ll teach you not to mess with David Letterman!”

That’s a line with weird energy to it.

Anyway, it would be a sad day for this random assemblage of backup Avengers if they were upstaged completely by David Letterman and his big knob.

Black Widow and Hawkeye finally manage to blow up the laser camera.

I’m not sure why it took them this long. Sure, the camera could apparently move, based on motion lines in previous panels. But the world’s best marksman couldn’t nail it sooner?

But the important thing is that eventually, they did do it.

The floor starts rumbling as well as Wonder Man flies back up with his belt-jets with the trashed roller and a shit-eating grin.

Wonder Man: “Sorry this took so long -- But I guess I’m a little rusty at tackling big hunks of tin like this!”

Fabian Stankowicz: Rusty? It took me a month to design that, and he totaled it in less than five minutes!

But since everyone’s focus is on Wonder Man (for once), Fabian tries to sneak away.

And runs smack dab into Mockingbird who has a lot of justified anger over almost getting run over by the roller earlier. But she just throws him over to some police that have finally shown up.

Letterman tells the audience not to try any of this at home, just in case any of them have gravity-generator osmium steel steamrollers lying around? And cuts to commercial, presumably so that some basic tidying can happen.

Hours after the filming of the show concludes, the Avengers TV Squad have returned to the mansion, with Vision wishing he could have taken part of this assistant editors month special issue.

Vision: “What became of Stankowicz?”

Black Panther: “Well, with all the charges NBC is leveling against him, the only machinery he’ll be dealing with for some time will be in the New York State Prison library!”

So, he attacked Avengers Mansion. He attacked Wasp’s superheroine brunch at the Van Dyne residence. That’s all well and good. He attacks the Avengers again in the NBC studio and the man is going to jail forever.

I guess the Avengers really haven’t been bothering to press charges on Fabian. But a massive media corporation isn’t so kind.

Since Hawkeye is technically the active Avenger (even though Vision’s hologram head is RIGHT there) he has to follow up on the thing Beast said about quitting the Avengers reservists.

Beast says its not right for him to be an Avengers reservist if he’s also trying to turn “the Defenders into a for-real group!”

Uh, Defenders fans? Wasn’t the appeal of the Defenders them being the not-team team? How did people feel about Beast going ‘ok but what if they were more like other teams instead?’

Meanwhile, Wonder Man is pacing, waiting for the Late Show to come on so he can see how he did when WOMP WOMP the show is interrupted by a special news bulletin.

Wonder Man is aghast that his big break isn’t even airing but when the special news bulletin is about a burning chemical barge, his hero instincts that he has suddenly swell up.

Wonder Man: “This... This is awful! What’re we standing around for? Let’s do something! We’re Avengers, aren’t we?”

Black Panther: “That we are, Simon! Let’s go!”

Beast also decides, hey, one more time won’t hurt and accepts his Avengers ID card back from Hawkeye.

And as they’re headed off to the Quinjet, Beast has a hopeful note for Wonder Man.

Beast: “Hey, Wondy -- remember, there’s a three-hour time difference between the coasts! If we can get this mess cleaned up in time, maybe some folks in California will still see you get your big break!”

Wonder Man: “And if we don’t -- ?”

Beast: “Well, that’s show biz!”

Pretty enjoyable issue! Like, sure, its a good for Assistant Editor’s Month. But if you’re going to do a goof, then you can do worse than bringing back Fabian Stankowicz for a third time’s not the charm.

Speaking of charm, having the Avengers appear on a talk show is a charming concept. Not a whole lot was done with it except the joke about Hawkeye answering the wrong questions but its still a fun idea.

And having the Avengers off busy lets us brush off some Also Avengers that haven’t been in play for a bit. That’s a fun idea that I wouldn’t mind seeing some more.

Have the reservists called in because of a situation happening when the Avengers are already busy.

Heck, I’d like to see a situation where the silliest and least regarded Avengers are the only ones available to respond to an emergency. Have them bounce off each other as a group. Maybe they’re mutually aware of their bad reputations.

Anyway, I expected this issue would be ridiculous but it was also enjoyable. Didn’t mind it at all. And (though by a different writer) the Hawkeye miniseries was very enjoyable too.

This is just feeling like a good era for the Avengers team.

Next time, apparently The Ghost of Jessica Drew. So she’s some kind of ghost spider? Nobody tell Carol Danvers.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because I typed this post partially while a cat was lying on my wrist. That’s dedication. Which you can’t spell without cat. Also, like and reblog if you think its likeable and rebloggable.

[quietmyfearswith]

narcissist {carter baizen x fem!reader} 3/3

status — completed series

warnings — none??? attempt at fluff

word count (without the lyrics) — 994 words

a/n — so this is for @baezen’s the other guys writing challenge and my prompt was alcohol is the only constant in my life; in this final chapter tho there’s ashift in the propmt so yeah. this is based on narcissist by no rome ,, listen to the song here if u want ,if you guys have feedback or jus wanna talk, drop me an ask/message. take care :>

masterlist | series masterlist

345, that's where we stayed

She told me I'm a narcissist doing it again

Took a bunch of acid and she told me, "not again"

Now I've gotta tell her that I'm lovin' her friends

And I've been seeing somebody

But I've not found a way to tell you

That I'm seeing somebody

There's not a nice way for me to say that

I've been seeing somebody

You know I want you to be happy

Since I'm seeing somebody

And then maybe we can get on with it

Being suspended from her work was a lot nicer than what Y/N thought; she didn’t have to wake up 2 hours prior to the office hours so that she could go to her boss’ place and help him get ready for the day. Thinking about it now, she realized how synonymous it was to taking care of a child.

After waking up and drinking a bit of her fruit shake, she dressed up and decided to go for a run while the clouds didn’t litter the sky and instead it was glowing with sunlight. After spending an hour jogging around the nearby park, she was now making her way back to her apartment building.

Once she was near the entrance, she was surprised upon spotting a vintage car that looked all too familiar to her. And as if on cue, her boss came out of the vehicle and smiled at her. Removing one of her earbuds, she inquired the reason for his presence, “Last time I checked the office wasn't anywhere near here.”

Amused with her greeting, Carter chuckled, “Is that how you should be talking to your boss, Ms. Y/N?” Putting a hand on her hip she looked at him pointedly, “I’m suspended, so technically speaking you really aren’t my boss. And my point still stands, you have no business being here.”

Looking down at his hands nervously, Carter looked up at her with sincerity in his eyes, “I just wanted to talk to you, okay?” Having an internal debate with herself, she was looking up at the man who was leaning up against his car as if she was trying to analyze the reason as to why her boss was here. Though she did take note of how more relaxed he seemed, and if that’s the effect of her absence then she would seriously consider leaving her job.

“Don’t need to talk to you, not until for a week at least,” she turned away from him but was suddenly pulled when he grabbed her hand and held it firmly. Looking down on their joint hands, she gave him a pointed look, “What the hell?”

“Please, just for a little while,” Carter bargained to her, hoping to get her to agree, “I’ll buy breakfast, don’t you like the cafe down there?” At the mention of the restaurant, Y/N did see the appeal of having a free and delicious breakfast. “Fine,” she found herself agreeing.

As they placed their orders and sat down there was an uncomfortable silence that was lingering in the atmosphere; Carter initiated a conversation by saying, “What have you been doing this past week?”

Shrugging as she took a sip of her beverage, “Go for runs, binge on shows, meet up with friends; things I wish I could do more often but couldn’t really with how busy I usually am.” Without even processing what she said, she internally yelled at herself since it seemed like he was pinning the blame on her boss how she failed to do any of those activities on a regular basis.

Upon looking at his facial features though, she took note of how he didn’t look angry or offended. Instead an understanding look was what he had, and she was surprised with how calm he has been ever since they started to  speak. “What about you — how are things in the office?”

It was Carter’s turn to shrug, because since her departure he noticed how despite the progress at work he took note of how slow it took. He quickly solved the puzzle and attributed the company’s smooth and quick operations to his assistant.

“Work’s been getting done, as it should,” he started but it wasn’t something he wanted to talk with her about, “But I think you’ll be glad to know that I’ve been seeing someone.”

(Got me like)

(Got me like)

Seeing somebody

(You got me like)

345, that's where we stayed

She told me I'm a narcissist doing it again

Took a bunch of acid and she told me, "not again"

Now I've gotta tell her that I'm lovin' her friends

There was a silence after what Carter had just shared, the waiter came and placed down their orders and Y/N decided not to ask any follow up questions with other ears lingering. After taking a small bite of her meal, she replied on what he had just said, “I honestly don’t know why you’re telling me this, Carter,” the man furrowed his eyebrows but before answering her, she was already explaining further, “You never tell me whoever it was you’re dating. Though, granted, most of the time I just meet them when I have to wake you up.”

Her chuckles were the only sound emitted from both of them, her boss’ silence was something that deeply confused her. Stopping her chuckle, it gave him the cue to explain, “I didn’t mean that I was dating someone,” his seriousness at the matter was something she reciprocated as she listened to what he had to say, “I meant that ever since you booked me with the therapist before I suspended you, I’ve been regularly seeing her.”

This shocked Y/N as she didn’t expect him to seek further help from the therapist — I mean her setting him up an appointment was the reason why he prohibited her from for a little while right? But she let him ramble more, “We’ve only had two sessions so far, and another one later in the week, but as much I dread to admit it, therapy really has helped. And I haven’t drank any alcohol or did drugs since.” 

A warm smile coupled with a proud expression graced her face as one of her hands grabbed his and gently caressed the back of his palm, “I’m glad to hear that, Carter, and I’m really proud of you.”

Lifting her hand to his lips, he placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles and pressed her palm to his cheek as he spoke sincerely, “Thank you for not giving up on me; I wouldn’t be here without you. I don’t want to continue on without you.”

Nodding her head she reassured him, “You won’t have to go through it alone, Carter. You’ll always have me.”

[suituuup]

Could you do a follow up to the amputee Beca story where she and Chloe talk about Beca’s time in the military and Beca opens up about how she really feels about being a double amputee? And how Chloe felt seeing Beca’s residual limbs for the first time. Love what you did with the prompt.

Thank you! Here you go :)

home is wherever I’m with you

rating: T

word count: 2k

ao3 link

*

The knock on the door jolts Beca out of her thoughts, her heart doing a happy flutter. 

 Chloe’s here. 

 After graduation, Chloe moved to California to attend Davis’ vet school, and Beca’s dad finally agreed with Beca’s plan to go to LA and to support her financially until she found herself a job in the music industry. 

 Fast forward to after the summer, Beca’s now an intern in one of the country’s most praised labels. Sure, she’s not making any money yet, but at least she’s got a foot in the door. 

 (well, figuratively speaking.)

She and Chloe have been doing long distance for four months now, and they were able to see each other twice, Chloe flying down to LA every eight weeks or so. Past the fact that it’s easier for Chloe to travel, she lives in a dorm while Beca has her own studio, which grants them more privacy. 

 Rolling away from her desk, Beca heads to the door, unlatching it and pulling it open. Chloe is straddling her a second later, Beca’s squeak swallowed by the searing kiss she’s pulled in. 

 “Jesus,” she croaks out when they part, her hands drifting down to Chloe’s ass as she rests her forehead against hers. “Miss me?” 

 Chloe answers by kissing her again, and Beca can only respond in kind, her own body throbbing with want. She’s thankful Chloe chose to wear sweatpants as she slides her hand down them minutes later to give Chloe what she needs. 

 “Wanna order a pizza?” Beca asks as they lie in bed an hour later, spent and hungry from their earlier activity. 

 “You mean you didn’t whip up a romantic dinner for your girlfriend?” Chloe teases, knowing damn well Beca can’t cook to save her life. She pushes a kiss to Beca’s lips. “Pizza sounds great, babe.” 

 Beca reaches for her phone off the bedside table, wincing as another pang of pain shoots through her leg. A leg that’s no longer there. She’s been experiencing those a lot lately, and upon visiting a physical therapist, was told they’re called phantom pains. 

 “What’s wrong?” Chloe asks as Beca dials the number of the pizza place on her phone. 

 “Nothing.” She hasn’t told Chloe about it, finding it difficult still to address anything related to her amputation. But the look Chloe gives her tells Beca she won’t let it rest, and Beca heaves a sigh. “I-I sometimes have pain like-- it feels as though my legs are still there and they’re burning.” 

 “Phantom pains?” 

 Beca blinks, putting her phone aside. “You’ve heard of it?” 

 Chloe nods. “When we started dating, I… did some research about all of it.” 

 Beca’s heart does a funny thing at that. “Oh, right.” 

 “What did the doctor say?”

 “He suggested the mirror therapy where I should stand in front of one so my brain can integrate the fact that I no longer have legs, and also massaging my residual limbs.” 

 “I can do that,” Chloe murmurs. “Give you massages, if-- if you’re comfortable with that.” 

 “You really don’t have to.” 

 “I know I don’t.” Chloe’s hand drifts to cover hers. “I want to help, if I can.” 

 Beca purses her lips, hesitantly glancing at her girlfriend. “Are you sure?”

 “I’m sure. Let’s have dinner and then do that?” 

 “Yeah, okay.” 

 After dinner, Beca tells Chloe where she keeps her oil and settles back on the bed, over a towel to protect the sheets. “You’ll tell me if you feel uncomfortable, right?” She asks just to make sure as Chloe settles down beside her. 

 “Yes,” Chloe says with a smile, brushing a kiss to Beca’s lips. “And likewise for you.” 

 “Yeah.” 

 Chloe rubs some oil between her palms and starts kneading Beca’s left thigh, a groan flitting past Beca’s lips as the relief is near instant. She closes her eyes and tilts her head back against the headboard, exhaling deeply. 

 “That helps a lot,” she murmurs, brushing her fingers over Chloe’s upper arm in an affectionate gesture as she looks at her. “Thank you. I’ve always… been self conscious about how I look, ever since the procedure, and I was convinced you’d find it gross or something.” 

 “Seeing it for the first time at your PT appointment was a bit unsettling, yeah, because I couldn’t help but think about the trauma that triggered it. But did I think it was gross?” Chloe shakes her head. “Never. I promise. I know it’s easier said than done and your feelings are entirely valid, but your body is beautiful the way it is, baby. I hope you learn to accept it someday.”

 Beca is silent for a little while, letting Chloe’s words wash over her and settle the anxiety swirling in her guts. “We drove over a landmine in Afghanistan,” she croaks out after a minute or two, the memory still fresh in her brain even though it’s been two years. She feels Chloe’s movements pause but doesn’t look up. She can still smell it. The tires burning, the oil leaking, the  blood.  “The back of the truck blew up. It’s still blurry and I’m not sure what happened next but I got stuck under the side of it and my legs got crushed,” she takes a pause, emotions rising as she’s never told the story aloud except to her therapist. “Help arrived pretty quickly and they managed to free me. I was choppered to the nearest trauma center.” Beca inhales sharply as tears burn behind her eyes. She can still hear the whines and cries of her comrades before they drew their last breath. “My two best friends… they didn’t make it.”

 Chloe shuffles up to sit by Beca’s side, draping an arm around her waist as she rests her forehead against the side of Beca’s head. Beca leans against her, her hand resting on Chloe’s forearm. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

 Beca swallows, licking her lips. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you what happened. It’s still… hard to talk about.”

 “Thank you for trusting me,” Chloe murmurs and presses a kiss to Beca’s jaw. 

 “Thank you for being you,” Beca replies, twisting her head to look at Chloe. Her hand drifts up to cradle her cheek. She’s still in awe of how lucky she is to have found such a beautiful person who loves her as much as Chloe does despite everything; being a double amputee, the nightmares, the PTSD episodes. “I love you so much.” 

 Chloe nuzzles Beca’s nose, then brushes a kiss to her lips. “I love you, too.” 

 They experience some ups and downs over the next two years as sometimes long distance is hard to handle, but their relationship only comes out of it stronger. Beca lands a job as assistant producer in the same label. Chloe finds a job in LA after graduating, and they move in together in a cute one bedroom apartment in Pasadena. 

 “What do you mean that last scene was ridiculous?” Chloe asks, seemingly affronted. They’ve just come out of the theater after watching a romcom Chloe dragged Beca to. “I thought it was cute.”

 Beca rolls her eyes as she walks beside her girlfriend. “It was cheesy as f—” 

 A loud  BANG! cuts Beca off and she visibly shrinks, her mind and body going into shock so quickly she can’t stop it. She leans against the nearby street post, her legs feeling like jelly.

 “Babe?” Chloe’s hand comes to rest on her shoulder but Beca recoils from it as her breathing turns labored. “It was a car backfiring, Becs. We’re safe.”

 Beca shakes her head, panic having already gripped her insides and shut out any kind of rationality. Flashbacks jump her mind and sounds that still haunt her in her dreams weave themselves in a continuous loop. 

 “You’re okay baby,” Chloe soothes. “You’re okay. You’re in LA, with me, not at war. You’re  safe. ”

 Beca hears Chloe’s words without really registering them; they get lost in the cloud surrounding her brain and keeping her from going back to reality. 

 She doesn’t know how long it takes, but she eventually snaps back into the present. Street chatter replaces the cries of her friends, cars passing by are quieter than the crawlers of tanks crunching the dry ground, and Chloe is here.

 Beca leans against her, clutching on for dear life as she tries to bring her heart rate back to normal. 

 “It’s okay,” she soothes, brushing a kiss to Beca’s temple. “You’re home.”

 A year later, Beca proposes. There’s no big speech or romantic meal planned; she asks Chloe as they lie in bed one lazy Sunday morning after making love. The sun is shining over them through the window, and Chloe is pressed snugly against her, laughing at one of her lame jokes, and it’s just… perfect. 

 They get married six months later at a resort in Northern California, surrounded by their close friends and families. The next few years are a blur of domestic bliss, before their lives get a whole new meaning with the arrival of their baby.

 Beca’s not quite used to being woken up in the middle of the night, and she jolts at the shrill cry coming through the baby monitor.

 “I’ve got her,” she rasps when she feels Chloe shift next to her, and uses her arms’ strength to transfer herself in the wheelchair set next to her side of the bed. 

 They moved into a larger place when Chloe found out she was pregnant, a house with a garden on the outskirts of LA. It has no stairs and large rooms, ideal for Beca to manœuvre her chair around as she tends not to wear her prosthetics at home. They got a custom made crib which slides open on the side so Beca can easily pick their baby up from her chair, and their changing table can also be lowered to her height. 

 “What’s up, sweet pea?” She coos as she undoes the latch and slides the side of the crib open, leaning forward to lift the three month old. She knows it’s her hungry cry, and with Emma on her lap, rolls towards the kitchen to heat up a pouch of breast milk. Much like the stroller, the wheelchair movements momentarily sooth Emma. 

 “Here we are,” Beca murmurs minutes later, cradling Emma in the crook of her elbow and presenting her with the bottle. She’s still completely in awe of this tiny human being who’s captured her heart the moment Beca held her in her arms for the first time. It’s like she felt her heart double in size to be able to accomodate all the love she held for her wife and daughter. Yeah. Motherhood has turned her into a real softie. She smiles as Emma’s big blue eyes lock on her while she feeds. “You had to have your mommy’s eyes, huh? How am I going to be able to ever say no to you?” 

 Once Emma finishes, Beca heads back to the nursery to change her and sings her back to sleep, carefully setting her in her crib. 

 “Mama loves you, my sweet girl.”

 She rolls back to the master and parks her wheelchair next to her side of the bed, locking the brakes before transferring herself back into bed. After years of practice, it doesn’t take Beca as long as it used to. 

 Chloe snuggles into her side as soon as Beca’s settled down. “All good?”

 “Mhm,” Beca hums, brushing a kiss to her wife’s hair. “Everything’s perfect.”

[kpoptart216]

Can’t Do This Anymore

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Angst with a hint of fluff if you squint.

Summary: You both notice your relationship falling apart, the love fading. The only difference between you two is that you actually tried. 

A/N: This is a oneshot based on a request from anon. Please don’t send more requests to me, I just wanted to do one to get my motivation and inspiration back. This oneshot felt too real for me. 

What makes a relationship last? Make a relationship the relationship? Was it not as simple as forming a strong bond with your partner, choosing them every time, committing to them? 

If only that was enough. 

They say someone in a relationship will always love more than the other person, and for all the relationships in your life, you were that person. You gave 110% to everyone in your life, and maybe that’s where you failed. 

When you first started dating Yoongi, it finally felt like you found someone who was meant for you. Someone who adored you and treated you the way you knew you deserved. Someone who put in just as much as effort as you did. 

You met him when you got hired as BTS’ new choreographer. You worked extensively with the boys and thats when the love between you and Yoongi had bloomed. 

The first 6 or so months were amazing. Despite the both of you having busy schedules, you both made the time for each other and constantly talked over text or phone calls. You both knew everything about each other and the whole time you felt like you were on cloud nine. 

But when did things start to change? Maybe you only noticed when it was too late. Maybe you both got too comfortable? Or was it just him?

The time you spent together became less and less, the texts and phone calls became less meaningful, and the affection just seemed...forced on his part. You now just felt like you were an obligation for him.

But you were anything but a quitter and your relationship with him meant too much for you to just give up on. So you swallowed your pride and you put in the effort for him. 

You gave it your all, and he seemed to just absorb that and take it for granted. You scheduled your time together, you cooked for him, you were his emotional tampon, his friend, his lover, and everything in between. 

But you gave so much of yourself away that you failed to see that you didn’t get any fulfillment in return. 

At one point, you felt like friends with benefits at best, but you still loved him. And he surely felt the same right? Because you gave it you all. 

But sometimes, even that isn’t enough. 

One day, you again made plans to hang out. You hadn’t seen him a while and he had to cancel the last few times you made plans since he had something come up, though he didn’t really explain what. 

You had dressed up and got all excited as you drove over to his place. You knocked on the door, and you could hear Yeontan barking on the other end of the door, which immediately put a smile on your face. 

Yoongi opened the door with a small smile, and you noticed that the dorm seemed rather empty but you didn’t think much of it and went straight to Yoongi’s room. Yoongi sat on his bed as you played with Yeontan for a bit before also sitting down on the bed. 

And that’s when he said it. 

“I’ve been doing some thinking and I think we should break up”

You just looked at him in shock. 

“W-what? w...why?” you asked. 

“I think right now, I really just need to focus on my career. I feel like I don’t really have time for anything else. I barely even get to see my friends and I just don’t want us to resent each other in the future. I can’t give you what you want, Y/n” he said. 

“Have I ever come in the way of your job? Or your future?” you asked, sadly. 

“No, no Y/n don’t think that. This is all on me, ok? This has nothing to do with you” he says calmly. “I hate that I’m doing this to you”

“Then why are you doing it? Why are you breaking up before things even get bad?” you ask.

“I just have a gut feeling, Y/n. And I want us to keep each other in our lives. I hope we can be friends, I hope that we can still share our accomplishments, I’d hate to hear about you from someone else other than you” he says. 

You spent the two hours trying to reason with him, but if there’s one thing you can’t be in a break-up, it’s logical. 

He had made up his mind. He mentioned he also didn’t believe in people getting back together, so this was it. This was the end. 

“Sometimes, I think I’m just meant to be alone. I feel like I’m hardwired to be alone. And I’m a piece of shit and I truly hope you find better” he says. “I know you’re strong, and confident, and resilient. You’re an amazing person, and I hope you find someone better tan me” he says, as you stood to leave, teary eyed. “I understand if you hate me. If you want to yell and scream at me go ahead” he says, getting ready to face you. 

“I could never hate you. You may think that you deserve to be alone, but I hope you find that someone Yoongi. The person you can depend on and love, you deserve the world. I don’t hate you” you say again. “I want to be friends, but not right now. I need time apart. Goodbye Yoongi”

You opened the door, only to find the rest of the members in the living room. You hadn’t noticed when they came back, and they all greeted you cheerfully as they saw you emerge from the room, only to be quiet when they noticed your teary and red eyes. They stayed quiet as they watched you leave, the only sound in the dorm was Yeontan whining when you didn’t pay him any attention and just left. 

“Hyung, what happened? Is everything ok?” Jimin asked.

“We broke up” Yoongi says, bluntly. No emotion on his face. 

“WHAT?” some of the boys say in unison. 

Yoongi doesn’t explain as he retreats back into his room. 

The following week after the break-up was hell. You cried everyday and cried yourself to sleep. You didn’t have an appetite what so ever and your heart just felt so heavy, starting the second you woke up. You felt, empty. 

It took you passing out during the middle of dance practice that you finally had enough of your own pity party. Your coworker had taken you to see the doctor and your doctor had mentioned how concerned he was with the lack of sleep in food. 

From that day on, you decided that you were going to put yourself first. For the first time in a long time, you put yourself up on a pedestal instead of someone or something else. 

You started to eat better, exercise more, meet more friends, and just simply do all the things you loved doing. You were slowly getting back on your feet. 

It didn’t really help that you worked together with your now ex, but fortunately you were just working on new choreo and didn’t have to interact with the boys for another few weeks. As far as you have come in the weeks following the doctors visit, you simply weren’t ready to face Yoongi again. 

Yoongi on the other hand felt a little free after the breakup. The boys had grilled him about it and he finally told them why he broke up with you, and he could see the disappointment in their eyes. They were all fond of you, and they all thought you were the one for him.

At first, he felt a weight off of his shoulder. He no longer had the burden of a relationship. He didn’t want to keep you waiting and have you resent him in the future and he found some comfort knowing you still wanted to be friends.

But as each day passed, he felt that become more and more uncertain. 

It had now been over a month since the break-up and you hadn’t reached out to him. He didn’t see you at BigHit anymore, and he was itching to see you, which was ironic since he couldn’t even be bothered to make plans when he still had you. 

He wasn’t active on social media and though he followed you on various platforms, he didn’t want you to know that he was still following up on you, though he was dying to know what you had posted on your story. 

The boys still kept in touch with you and they’d mention your name around the dorm sometimes, but Yoongi just pretended like he didn’t care. His friends had joked before that you were too good for him, and now those words sometimes haunted him at night, 

One day at the studio, Yoongi drowned in own thoughts. He thought he was getting over you, but his thoughts just naturally wondered over to you. How were you doing? Were you eating, sleeping properly? Did you move on? 

He reached for his phone and pulled up your contact. Should he call you? what was he going to say anyways? A tear slipped past his eyes without even him realizing. 

It was then he realized he fucked up. He gave up on some one truly fucking amazing. He missed you, and he wanted you back. No, he needed you back. 

It was another few weeks before he saw you though. You had actually texted him first. when he saw your notification on his phone, his eyes almost popped out of his head, and he felt his heart race for the first time in over a month. 

“I just a little kitten by my apartment like the one we fostered a year ago! It made me think of you. Hope you’ve been well, Yoongi!” your text read cheerfully. It immediately put a smile on his face, and one that wasn’t forced like all the ones he put on for over a month. 

He had sent you a reply, and just like when you both first started talking you both had spent hours talking after. 

It just came naturally, and Yoongi just felt happy. 

He then asked if you could meet him for some bubble tea the following day for which you agreed. 

You both then spent hours talking and walking around the small park near your apartment after getting boba. He hadn’t felt this light and happy in so long, and it warmed his heart. Not to mention, you looked amazing. You had that “post break-up glow up”. Yoongi had a hard time looking away from you. 

“I should probably get going, I have some work I need to get done” you say, glancing at your watch. “It was nice seeing you again, Yoongi. Good Night!” You smiled as you turned but you felt him grab your arm and turn you around. 

He pulled you into a hug. 

“I’m so sorry. For what I did, to you. To us” he said. 

“Yoongi...” you started. 

“I missed you. I miss you still. I miss the way you call me Yoongs. Do you have any idea how many times I had to stop myself from calling you? I thought I made the right decision at the time, but I’m not so sure anymore, Y/n”

“What are you trying to say, Yoongi?” you asked, confused. 

“Give us a second chance”

A/N: this one hit kinda close to home. I’m sorry, this is kinda trash LOL but It feels good to write again. Hope you look forward to the other parts of my series!

[pope-mayward]

Mayward Week Day 3 - “How much of that did you hear?” + angst

JJ grows up with his father at more than an arm's length away and without his mother at all. It's been like this all his life, so he is used to it by now, but nonetheless it has been known to sting his heart on occasion. His father has never been one to meddle in JJ's problems- no matter how big or small- and the only time he interfered with JJ's activities was when an opportunity to punish him arose. Which is why it's so ironic when his father suddenly corners him about who he's dating. 

A long time ago- what truly feels like ages ago- when he was still sorting through the files in his brain, JJ would, from time to time, bring a girl home with him, and maybe once or twice they would even have sex. Luke never said a word about it, except for the sly little smirk that he would toss JJ's way the morning after when JJ would stumble out of his room with a rat's nest atop his head and irritated red marks running down his back as if to say Good job, son, I'm proud of you because he just couldn't bring himself to actually say it aloud.

But when JJ comes home after spending the weekend at Pope's house, shirt on backwards and an unshakeable smile on his face, his father does not give him a proud look. Instead, it's a scary, degrading expression, as if he can smell the sex without JJ even having to utter a word. However, he could squirm his way out of this one because technically speaking he and Pope didn't... In fact, they never have.

"I thought you went to your friend's house," Luke says when JJ is looking in the fridge for something to eat. "The one whose daddy works at the seafood place."

"Pope's," JJ reminds him, not entirely picking up on Luke's passive aggressive tone. He shuts the refrigerator door when he finds nothing that suits his taste; slimy iceberg lettuce and mustard doesn't make for a very good snack. "I was."

There's a moment where Luke wonders if he should just drop it. Since when has he cared about his son's mischievous happenings? It's not like he should start giving a shit now. He balls his fist and rolls his knuckles while he watches from the kitchen doorway as JJ bops his head to a song only he can hear.  

"What's that on your neck then?" he blurts out anyway, gesturing to the wine-colored marks near JJ's collarbone that had not been there when he left. Immediately, JJ's heart sinks and he tries not to let it show. Just keeps his composure, tucks his chin, and tries to shimmy past his father to get to his bedroom- far, far away from this conversation- because he's suddenly not very hungry.

"I got hit by a kid at school the other day," JJ answers in a steady, lying voice. It's not the first time he's had to make up a scenario to divert the attention away from his neck. He awkwardly reaches a hand up to rub at the marks there.

"You think I'm stupid, boy?"

"No, sir," JJ immediately responds, purely out of instinct, because if he were being more honest, his answer would be yes, a thousand times yes, and a million other terrible names too. He lowers his hand and stands up straight as a pin, preparing for the worst.

Luke makes a face like maybe he knows that JJ thinks he's stupid. Whatever. It doesn't matter.

"Then quit lyin' to me," he says lowly, "I know what you and that kid've been doing."

A surge of fear fills JJ up to the very brim. He tries to keep it tied down in the pit of his stomach where it belongs. I'm not afraid of you anymore. "I don't know what you're talking about-"

"Oh, cut the bullshit, JJ," it's the first time he has said JJ's name in weeks and he spits it out like it burned his tongue, "Last week, on the back porch."

JJ furrows his eyebrows in confusion and tries to remember what it is exactly that his father is referring to. It takes him a moment but he does remember: a black sky spotted with shiny stars, a warm hand against his own, a soft kiss goodnight when he was sure his father wasn't around, a longing gaze minutes after the boy of his affections had gone.

"Wha-" JJ says suddenly, feeling both flustered and cornered. Suddenly he knows exactly what it's like to be a deer caught in the headlights. "How much of that did you hear?"  He sounds exasperated but he can't help it, nor can he be bothered by denying this anymore. 

"I heard enough."

"You can't just spy on me," JJ says, trying to spin the story so that they are no longer talking about him. "That's so fucked up. Don't I deserve at least some privacy around here?"

"Don't you tell me what you deserve, boy, after what you've done," Luke spits, voice accusatory in a way JJ has heard only him speak. 

"What I've done," JJ mutters, scoffing and shaking his head. He looks away from his father, down at the floor where the mud on the bottoms of his shoes has imprinted footprints on the kitchen tile. He isn't sure that he has it in him to hold his head up and look at his father again.

Luke doesn't say another word, but he doesn't move from his authoritative stance- arms crossed over his chest and chin tilted up, legs apart like he's ready to jump into action. He doesn't need to say anything else for JJ to know exactly what he is thinking.

"Look, I've gotta go," JJ says suddenly in a quiet voice. He takes a step forward, head bowed, and waits for his father to move out of the way and grant him permission to leave.

"You're not going to Heyward's, are you?" he asks pointedly, as if that's the only thing JJ does anymore.

"No, I'm not-" JJ sighs, annoyed, and pushes past his father. On the way out the door, he says, "I'm not going to Pope's."

He goes straight to Pope's house.

His bike rumbles beneath his feet, and he twists the handlebars to let everyone know just how upset he is.

When he gets there, Pope is already outside, a garbage bag in each hand as he walks over to the trash bin at the end of the driveway. He has changed his shirts since JJ last saw him half an hour ago; now, a faded grey button-down hangs off his shoulders. One of JJ's baseball caps is sitting backwards on Pope's head.

"Hey," Pope greets him with a smile as he drops the garbage bags inside and lets the lid slap closed. "Long time no see." He laughs at his stupid joke and waits for JJ to laugh too, or at least crack a smile, but he doesn't.

"Hey," JJ replies, putting down the kickstand on his bike and standing up. His voice sounds a little off-putting, a little downbeat, and it's strange because he never misses an opportunity to rile Pope up with compliments and boasts.

Pope hides his frown, and instead bumps his shoulder easily against JJ's as he walks closer. "What're you doing here?" he asks, trying to read JJ's face for any clues that might let him know what's going on, "Not that I don't love to have you around, because I do. But you were, like, just here."

JJ glances at Pope through the shaggy strands of hair that fall in front of his face. The sky is a palette of afternoon pinks and purples and oranges, and he suddenly realizes that it's sunset. If there's one thing that he likes about the Outer Banks other than his friends, it's how beautiful the sky is there. But no matter how pretty the sky is, it will never compete with the way Pope looks at any given time.

"JJ?" Pope says, giving him an odd look. 

"Yeah, sorry," JJ tells him, shakes his head. His cheeks burn after realizing he must have been staring. "I was at my dad's," JJ continues, shoving his hands into the pockets of his cargo shorts and kicking his feet around like he wants Pope to ask what his problem is.

"Oh?"

"Yeah," JJ says, and then, "Um, so, he kind of... knows. About us."

Pope's smile drops, and his heart takes a dive into his stomach. This is the stuff his nightmares are made of: JJ's dad finding out about the little relationship they have struck up and taking his inevitable anger out on JJ in more violent ways than Pope cares to think about. He wonders if it's already too late, and Luke has already laid his fists on JJ.

"Oh," Pope says quietly after a moment. He can't deny that he's thought of this before. What's the next step after JJ's dad finds out? He was just hoping that the day wouldn't come until they were old enough to move out.

He reaches out for JJ, lets his fingers run over his arm and up to his shoulder because he knows that during tricky situations like this, JJ can be kind of flighty. But now, he shakes his head like he can't believe Pope would ever think he wouldn't want his arms around him and pulls Pope in.

JJ hides his nose in Pope's shoulder and suddenly things don't seem so bad. "You're okay?" Pope asks him in a soft voice, "He didn't... y'know..."

"No, no," he assures Pope, voice muffled by the fabric of Pope's shirt. "He actually wasn't as pissed as I thought he'd be."

Pope doesn't say anything, just hugs JJ a little bit tighter and wishes that they were already older. Maybe then they wouldn't have to deal with all this bullshit.

When they finally find it in each other to let go, JJ's eyes are kind of red and Pope notices that the shoulder of his shirt is a little damp. His heart hurts. They don't move; they just stand close to one another as the streetlights start to come on.

"JJ.”

"Yeah?"

Pope sighs. "I think that, um- Well since, y'know, your dad... He... He's kind of a violent guy," he says, in a hushed voice because he really doesn't want to do this, "So maybe we should-"

"Take a break? Chill out for a while?" JJ interrupts, bright eyes staring right at him. When Pope reluctantly nods, JJ's stomach suddenly feels like lead. "I knew you were gonna say that. Always thinking ahead, aren't you?"

Pope laughs sarcastically like he doesn't believe what JJ's saying, even though he most definitely is always thinking ahead. He does it for his own good though, and for his friends' goods too so that they all may be safe and happy. And perhaps that's why JJ isn't so upset about it, because he knows that Pope is doing this out of the goodness of his heart, doing it to protect him-- even though it's typically the other way around. 

"That's okay," JJ continues, rubbing at his eye. "Damn. Allergies, you know?" He laughs dryly, and he isn't quite sure why he's crying.

Pope hugs him again because he looks like he needs it.

"We're still friends," Pope tells him, "You can still flirt with me, I promise."

"Like I wouldn't have done that anyway," JJ replies, and he isn't joking at all. "After high school, though?"

"Yeah. After high school."