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papercorgiworld · 2 months

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I don't need space, I need you

Mattheo and Theodore fluff

Based on this request, please don't hate me for taking 29 days to post this rather average piece, but I had a lot of requests and not a lot of time. I hope you like it!

Finally I had time to write today! Big yey for me, people. I needed it and I'm so happy I wrote something today. 💛 Sending you lots of love and of course: happy readings!

A/N: I got some stuff going on in life so if I don't respond, I'm sorry. Just know that I love you. 💛

Mattheo

“Where’s my princess?” Mattheo sings as he enters the common room in search of you. “Not here, I would check the library.” Blaise states not looking up from his book. Mattheo nods and is about to turn around to head straight for the library, but Draco’s snickering stops him from doing so. “I bet you’re pleased to have a moment of peace.” Mattheo focuses on Draco, not completely getting where the blond's going with this. “I honestly pity you, man, must be so suffocating.” Suddenly all eyes are on Mattheo and not just his friends, the entire slytherin common room is curious to hear what the big bad boy has to say. Mattheo moves a nervous hand through his curls and chuckles. “Yeah, she’s a bit much with her hugs and cuddles, and urgh those constant questions to check on me. I’m lucky she studies so much, so I have a break from time to time.” Mattheo sits down opposite of Draco who grins and nods, fully believing that Mattheo feels saved by your absence. However, Mattheo felt miserable sitting there, knowing that he could be spending time with you.

Just like Mattheo was searching the castle for you, you had been searching for him and ended up checking the common room. With watery eyes you turn around, unnoticed by anyone, and leave the common room. He thinks I’m too much?

***

“Who is it?!” Mattheo yells as he pushes you against the wall of an empty hallway. He rarely raised his voice with you, but now his face was close to yours, his eyes dark and piercing yours. He looks more pained than angry, but you just look confused. To him it was obvious, you had fallen out of love with him and probably found someone else. There was plenty of proof:

A quick kiss on the lips and a wish of good luck before Tuesday's test was all Mattheo got, instead of the tight hug and intense kiss you would normally give him before a test.

When you got your results back on Wednesday you jumped into Luna’s arms and just gave him a happy smile, while he was standing right there next to Luna. His heart ached to hold you and press you against his chest. Worse was when you asked Enzo about his test first and ended up discussing all the answers, barely giving your boyfriend any attention.

Thursday you went to sit next to Pansy in the common room, instead of settling in your boyfriend’s lap. Mattheo was forced to watch you the whole evening without touching you once. When you left for bed, you told him not to walk you to your room and reminded him to spend some much needed time with his friends. The sweet kiss you gave him, didn’t make up for any of it.

Were you trying to get rid of him? To Mattheo the case was obvious.

Friday was the worst. Happy to finally have you next to him as you were both reading, settled close by the fire. With his eyes still on the page of his own book his arm moved behind you to pull you closer and you let your head rest on his shoulder as you continued to read, but still Mattheo frowned. Normally you would sling your legs over his and cuddle up against his chest, wrapping your blanket around the both of you and creating this warm bubble of love. He could barely focus on his book, as his eyes constantly wandered to you reading next to him but not cuddled up against him like you used to.

So by Saturday Mattheo had pretty much had it with you. You rubbed your temple as squeezed your eyes. “I have a headache, I’m gonna head to my room and rest for a bit.” You got up from your seat to leave the library and Mattheo did the same. If you weren’t feeling well then he needed to be by your side. “Oh, don’t Matt. I’ll be fine. I’ll ask Pansy to give me something against the pain and settle next to me until I fall asleep.” Mattheo stood perplexed as you just kissed him and left. Now he wasn’t even good enough to take care of you anymore.

This was the moment he snapped. With stern strides he follows you.

“Who is it?!” You frowned at the question and met Mattheo’s dark eyes. “Obviously, you’re done with me. So who’s better than me, huh?” His voice was filled with anger, but his question sounded so heartbreaking, that you felt no need to get angry with him for pushing you against the wall and snapping at you. You cup his cheeks and softly shake your head. “Matt, I love you. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Your voice is calm and endearing, reminding him of how much he needed your love. You were always so gentle with him and feeling you slip away the past week hurt so much that he felt like falling apart on the spot. He's too hurt and afraid to lose you to act tough and with a whisper he confesses his worries. “You don’t check up on me anymore. You don’t wish me luck before a test like you used to. We don’t cuddle anymore.” You stare at him in silence for a moment, you had never seen Mattheo this soft and vulnerable before.

Your hands still resting on his cheeks move to his neck as you wrap your arms around him and pull him against you. Mattheo snuggles his face in your neck, embarrassed with himself and desperate for your warmth. You rest your head against his and your fingers move through his curls, making him sigh at your touch. “You told Draco I was a bit too much. So I backed off, because I didn’t want to lose you. I know I can get clingy sometimes, I’m sorry.” Mattheo moves away to look at you and his eyes look guilty. “No, no. Don’t apologise. Don’t be sorry. I love you clingy and cuddly. I need you to be around me.” Your eyebrows knit together. “But I heard you say-” Mattheo interrupts you and shakes his head. “I was being stupid. Don’t listen to the things I say. Just stay with me and love me… overwhelm me with everything you have.” You tilt your head in confusion. “No, I mean listen to me, just forget about what I said back then. I- I was trying to act tough so I pretended to- you know.” You chuckle. “You pretended not to like cuddles, because you wanted to be a tough guy?” Embarrassed with himself Mattheo nods. “I’m a softy for you and I need my daily dose of love. I don’t need space.”

You sigh at Mattheo’s pouty face. “My boyfriend’s an idiot.” Mattheo nods and leans in for a kiss. “Please, let me take you to your room and let me take care of you, because I want nothing more than to be around you.” You pull him in for another intense kiss as an answer and as you walk to your dorm, he squeezes your hand the whole time walking.

Theodore

“Where’s my lady?” Theodore frowns as he sits down opposite of Blaise, who raises his shoulders without looking up from his book. Theo shakes his head in annoyance, he needed you like he needed cigarettes. He spent the whole day longing for your love and warm embraces. Merlin, all he wanted right now was for you to entangle your fingers with his hair and ask him about his day. “For once the two of you aren’t attached to the hip.” Mattheo quips and Draco snickers. “Must be refreshing to have a moment to yourself.” Theodore stays silent for a moment and a little further, near the common room entrance you halt in your step. “She’s so mothering, it’s almost toxic. I don’t know how you do it, mate.” Draco wiggles his eyebrows at Theo as Mattheo talks. “You know, if you ever need us to come save you, we could always come up with a code word.” Draco offers and Theodore chuckles, not knowing what to say. “It’s not toxic, but I’m happy to have a moment with you guys, because she can be a bit much. She’s always so… clingy.” You chew your lip and slowly take a step back, leaving the common room as the word ‘clingy’ rings in your head.

***

You didn’t want to lose your boyfriend due to being too clingy. So you decided to keep your distance.

Instead of spending your evening studying cuddled up with your boyfriend you ask Hermione to help you out with potions who of course never passes the opportunity to study. Keeping up his tough act in front of his friends, Theodore can’t protest as you leave the common room to go study with your friend instead of with him. Theo feels himself get cold as he sits by the fireplace with his friends. If you’re not there to keep him warm the room just feels empty and even the conversations are boring. He can’t help but curse himself for letting you go study with Hermione. Having to make peace with an evening without you, Theodore longs for the next day and having you next to him during breakfast while you talk about your plans for the day.

The next morning, at breakfast Theo only gets a small kiss from you before you turn to Pansy gossiping about some third years. Theodore can’t resist but snake an arm around you and you love his touch, but you try not to be too clingy and decide to not fully lean against him. Your boyfriend is happy to have you next to him, but disappointed that you stay engaged with Pansy’s gossip instead of giving him some much needed attention. Why were you not combing his hair with your fingers until it looked the way you preferred it? Why were you not checking if he had done all his homework? What was so bloody interesting about Pansy’s conversation?!! He was getting so annoyed that he was caught by surprise when you kissed him tenderly and headed for class. His mind and body were screaming to have you back by his side and walk you to class, but he just turned to his breakfast and spent the morning sulking.

Finally, after two days, he had you close to him, settled on his bed with a book in your hand. You were all alone in his room and you both enjoyed the peace and quiet. You lay between his legs with his arms around you, while his head rested on yours, reading some of the paragraphs of your book but mostly taking in your warmth and scent. He gives you a soft kiss on your cheek and you smile and lean against his chest. “I love you.” You whisper and his eyes shine even brighter than he smiles. “Love you too.” However, your romantic moment is ruined when Blaise and Mattheo enter. “Astronomy tower?” Mattheo raises his eyebrows at Theo who is about to decline the invitation, but you speak up first. “I was just about to meet up with Luna.” You jump up and Theodore's eyes go furious at the suggestion of you leaving. “No you’re not.” Theo snaps at you, shaking everyone in the room. “Why are you so eager to get away from me?” Theo questions and Blaise and Mattheo’s eyes move from their friend to you. You take a step back at your boyfriend's accusation. “I’m not. I’m just giving you space so you can hang out with your friends.” Theo shoots Blaise and Mattheo a dark glare. “Out! Both of you!”

As soon as the duo closes the door behind them and you and Theodore are left alone in the room Theodore gets up and towers over you. “I don’t want space, I want you. So tell me what’s going on, because I can’t stand it anymore.” His voice is stern, but you feel yourself relax as you no longer have to act differently and you can finally be honest with him. “You think I’m clingy and sometimes I’m too much… and I get that and I don’t want to lose you… so I did my best to give you some space in the hopes of saving our relationship.” Theodore’s heart aches at the soft tone of your voice. How could he make you feel like you were too much when you were all he wanted. “I’m such a shit boyfriend.” Theo sighs as he sits back down on his bed, making you frown and join him. “No, I was too much.” Theo’s head snaps to you. “You are not. I didn’t want those idiots to think I was whipped or soft or- so I said you were clingy, but you're not, if anything I am… I want you around 24/7.” Your eyes widen at his confession. “Soooo, you’re saying that ‘the’ Theodore Nott is so in love with me that he prefers cuddling over hanging with his friends.” Your boyfriend chuckles. “Yeah, so please just go back to reading in my arms and make me the happiest man alive.” You lean towards him and he meets your lips. The sweet kiss quickly turns passionate as you both fall back on the bed.

For the ones who asked to be tagged, here you go lovies: @ho3forfakeguys and @bitchoftoji

#mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #slytherin boys #slytherin #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #pepercorgiworldwritings

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januaryembrs · 2 months

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BLACK CAT GIRLFRIEND | Spencer Reid x reader

request: Hey Congratulations on the 2K! Do you think you could write something with Spencer Reid and a Reader who has lots of tattoos and/or piercings? Like she's the whole "bad girl" stereotype but Spencer and her complement each other so well and have a very sweet and mature relationship. I would love something like that.

description: the team meet Spencer's new girlfriend and she doesn't look quite like they'd imagined

word count: 1.1k

main masterlist

authors note: I officially hit 2k followers this morning!! see my post here for requesting but lets start this milestone off with a bang!! thankyou so much :))))))

Morgan had to admit, you weren’t exactly what he’d envisioned when Pretty Boy had been talking his ear off for months about the girl in his apartment building that had slipped him your number. He wasn’t judgemental, not by a longshot, but Spencer had always seemed like the type to date the preppy, library geek, or even the cutesy geneticist if Maeve had been anything to go off of.

It’s not like you weren’t hot, he could see that you were a mile away, but you looked like you’d sooner break someone’s wrist for so much as talking to you than fall for their resident genius.

You smiled tightly, shaking Derek’s hand with a crushing grip, as Spencer introduced you to his team, the obnoxiously loud bass almost drowning out his words as the six of you stood in the bar.

“Nice to meet you, Spencer talks about you all the time,” You said politely, and no sooner had you let go of the man’s warm hand, two arms were thrown over your shoulders and you were tugged into a hug.

“I’m Penelope- oh you’re so pretty, Morgan isn’t she so pretty? You should marry Spencer then you can be boyfriend girlfriend for, like, life-” The perky voice was all a jumble as the blonde pulled away, cupping your face, rubbing down your arms kindly, sweetly, like you were swallowing a warm spoon of honey.

“Penelope, newbie rules, remember,” Emily chimed in, seeing your eyes widen at the sudden intrusion of personal space. She could see this ending with the pretty pink bows Garcia had plaited her hair in torn to shreds on the sticky floor, right next to her long barbie locks if your intimidating figure was anything to go off, “Not everyone likes hugs,”

“No, no,” You replied, smiling gently at the woman who was softer than cotton candy, “Hugs are nice,”

“We’re going to be very best friends, I can feel it, which is funny because my tarot actually said I’d meet a strong Taurus woman- or are you a Scorpio-” Penny’s smile was dazzling, but she was soon ushered to let go of the bear like grip she had on your shoulders by a chuckling Morgan.

“Let the other kids play with her, babygirl,” He said, and you were pulled in another direction towards Emily who gave a polite handshake.

“Nice ink,” She said with raised brows as she saw the intricate sketches that covered the back of your hands, trailing up your arm and under the band tee you wore. She knew who they were, though they only dragged up memories of her own days of thick eyeliner and rebelling against her mother. “They must have hurt like a bitch, I got one on my hip and could barely sit for one hour,”

You snickered, nodding, seeing her eyes trailing over the ones on your ankles and knees where your ripped jeans flashed them all.

“Bones hurt the most, though the one on my ass is up there for the worst ones,” You replied, and Penny’s brows shot into her hairline, though she giggled like a schoolgirl being told a secret.

“I think we’re gonna need to see the proof on that one,” Morgan teased flirtily, the way he always did, the way he did even with JJ who had a whole child and partner, because it was his natural state of being.

Spencer smiled as his team warmed to you, though he was quick to pull you to him with a gentle arm around the waist. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Derek, that man was practically his brother, he’d taken bullets for the guy, but he liked having you close, even if to just remind himself that you were all his, including said tattoo on your buttcheek that he’d seen plenty of times.

The team didn’t need to know that, but you could tell your words had reminded him of it as he pressed a shy kiss behind your ear.

He was careful to avoid the studs and links that glittered from your ear lobe, wrapping over the cartilage on your helix, though he loved to stare at them on nights where you tied your hair up and he could count every one of them. To him you were a work of art, complex and detailed with every glance he stole. You were an illustration in one of his many books, everything he imagined for himself times a million.

“I’m going to go get a drink, do you want one?” You said, looking up at him with puppy eyes, like a lovestruck teenager, fat adoration in your gaze. It oozed out of every inch of you, and JJ thought for a moment that you looked nothing like the scary doberman woman that Spence had originally brought over to meet them. You looked in love, the saccharine, soft and dazed kind of in love.

“Let me get it for you,” Spencer rooted around his pocket for his wallet, turning to see Morgan’s beer bottle running low, “You having another one?”

“I’m good, my man, you just sort yourself and your lady out,” Derek flashed him a thousand watt smile and clapped him on the shoulder as you entwined your fingers with his, pulling him through the cluster of people and towards the bar, “What a stud,”

Penelope giggled again, leaning towards her adonis best friend with honeyglow cheeks, watching their genius get led like a dog on a leash.

“Oh lover boy had got it bad,” She drawled, watching Reid, their Reid, develop an uncharacteristically protective stance as a few men at the bar shot looks up and down your body. She couldn’t blame them either, you were a sight for sore eyes. “Okay, so do I have to be the first one to point out how hot she is or have I maybe had one too many margaritas?”

“She seems nice,” JJ chose her words carefully, still not entirely sure she would have ever put the two of you together but she saw the way Spence’s eyes got round and longing when he looked over you. He’d clearly said something to make you laugh, and an inked hand raised up to brush his chocolate curls out of his face lovingly, “She seems good for him,”

A murmur of agreement ran through the four of them, Emily taking one more sip of her martini as her eyes roved over your figure returning with something fruity and colourful, “Anyone else dying to know what’s on her ass?”

#Spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic

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bluetimeombre · 4 months

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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ And I wouldn't marry me, either.

You were Azriel's mate, but it took losing you three times for him to realise.

[this is long. i'm talking 5k words long so i've split it into two parts. anyway, azriel is the best bat boy and no i won't hear anyone out. i'm so excited to write for him and hope you enjoy. it's very angsty but that's what i love. i hope i can write more for him and maybe other characters if you like. it's been a while since i've actually read the series so if any information is wrong, do let me know. also it was my first time using the term y/n and yes, i cringed NOT PROOF READ... enjoy]

warnings: references to sexual assault and references to suicide. nothing explicit but please don't read if this is sensitive to you.

Part 2 soon…

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The first, was the worst...

You were Rhys's half sister, the bastard daughter of his father. But when your mother had died giving birth to you, Rhysand's mother took you in and raised you with your brother and sister. You were so little and adorable that your sister loved you at once. Rhys did to, at some point of your life, you were sure he actually cared about you.

But when his mother and sister had died, his eyes shifted, he started to look at you with contempt. After all, you were only his half-sister. The worst half. He only kept you around because it's what his mother would have wanted.

And because there was no way Cassian and Azriel would ever let anything happen to you.

Besides, Rhysand knew when to use you.

Although Azriel was his spymaster, you were pretty good at staying swift-footed too. And you were frankly, very terrifying when you wanted to be.

You tread with power through the war camps, all of them looking at you as you went. All of their gazes wrecked with a predatory gaze. They either wanted to have their way with you, or kill you. Or both.

Rhys had said you could handle it, it was only supposed to be a check in. Cassian hadn't liked it, neither had Mor but it was Azriel who had almost- and for the first time- disobeyed his high lord to accompany you. But no, your brother wanted you to do this alone, so alone you would.

Just to show him you could.

'I can come with you,' Azriel had said, standing in your room as you tied your boots up. 'I won't even have to be seen.' At that, his shadows wrapped up your calf.

You smiled at them, as if they were his own pet. 'I'll manage just fine. Besides, i'm sure that's what Rhys wants, me needing a man.'

It had done nothing to calm your friend. The worry was still stuck between his brows, marring his handsome features. You'd held his cheeks, your wings hiding the two of you. His large ones (enough to swallow the both of you) over-lapped yours.

It was the last time you'd feel your wings.

The war camp wasn't as easy as you'd hoped. It was terror and horror in a place. You'd been to the court of nightmares, you'd gone to the slaughter of the spring court after they killed your family. But this, this was hell of another kind.

You had no idea how many days you'd been locked up, wrists bound in chains and hanging from the cell roof above you. Blood rolled down your arms from the force you'd tried to use to get them out. Your eye was swollen shut and your body trembled in pain.

All because they wanted to know your brothers secrets, and you wouldn't budge.

Your check was only supposed to be a day, but you were sure it had been longer. Days of endless pain and torture. Your uniform hung in rags of stripped material, your hair matted with blood and hiding your face.

You'd used the last of your energy to keep your walls up. You weren't anyone's mate, you didn't have anyone on the other end trying to feel what you felt. But should Rhys come looking (though you doubted it) you didn't want him to feel it. You didn't want anyone in your mind.

The gates opened with a sickening clash.

One of the Illyrian's knelt in front of you, his wings hiding those coming in behind you. 'Listen sweetheart. I don't want to make this any harder than it's about to get. All you have to do is tell us your brother's hide outs.'

You grit your teeth, staring down at the ground.

'So loyal, to a man who doesn't care if you live or die.'

Suddenly, your wings twitched as hands grasped them. Brute hands, the sort you wouldn't want touching any part of you.

Fear spiked in you, horror twisting your gut. 'What are you doing?'

'I told you I didn't want to get things messier, darling.'

You whipped your head from side to side, trying and failing to get a look at the assailants behind you. Your wings were being held apart, no matter how hard you tried to bat them away. You knew the sort of people they were, and what they did to girls like you.

That's when the begging started. 'No, no please. Anything. I'll do anything! Beat me, kill me, rape me, not my wings, please!'

'Anything?' the bastard asked, tongue poking out from his lips. 'Then tell me where your lord's hideouts are?'

You should betray him, you thought. He would never lose his wings for you. Perhaps it was stubbornness that kept you from, or maybe you were clinging to the last bit of love you want from him.

The bastard scoffed, 'anything, she says. Your brother has his own bitch wrapped around his finger.'

That's when they started hacking at your wings.

Your screams tore through your throat, blood spitting and dripping down your chin. Tears soon joined when they hacked away at the bone, the membrane, the flesh of it all. The three of them worked through your screams and your tears and your pain, tearing and cutting at it like it was nothing more than paper.

Not your whole life.

Let them hear you. You hoped your brother heard you, you hoped all and every court heard the pain.

Eventually, even you couldn't keep screaming. The only sound was the hacking away at your wings and the drops of blood.

'Now look at these beauties. I've got a perfect spot on my wall for these.'

They left you after that. There wasn't much more damage they could do. It already felt like they'd destroyed your life. You had never really thought about your wings, they were just part of you, as much as your wit or hair was. But they'd took it and now, you felt empty. Never would you fly with Azriel again, or use your wings to smack Cassian over the head.

Rhys, your dear brother, had took that from you.

The days blended in together after that. You were pooled in your own tears and blood, vomiting up anything they forced down your throat. No, they'd made it very clear they didn't want you dead. They just took pride in making it feel like you were.

At some point, you'd stopped reacting to the gate opening. You let them do whatever they wanted with you. Your wrists were still chained, arms still hanging up, your clothes hanging on your thin body in strips of dirt.

'No...' you heard a mumble. 'What have they done to you?'

Suddenly, the chains gave way and you lurched forward, with no strength to catch you. Luckily, you didn't have to, as strong and warm arms pulled you into his chest.

'Hey, wake up, look at me, dammit.'

Azriel.

You'd know the voice in the darkest days, in the pit of your worst nightmare you'd know.

You try to speak but your head's heavy, your lips are stone and your arms can't lift to hold onto him. You're exhausted, you're dying. The only thing you could do use all your strength to try to open your eyes.

'Please, please, look at me. You have to look at me,'

You were trying, you wanted to tell hm, snap at him, but you couldn't.

You felt Azriel shake, or maybe you were. Then, there was wet drops landing on your cheeks- you flinched.

'I'm sorry, i'm sorry. Rhys! Rhys! hurry up, please!' he was screaming. You'd never heard him scream before.

You heard the rush of feet at the cell doors, you knew it was your brother. You knew it from the presence of him, from the shuffling of feet and chocked sob. Your brother didn't cry, least of all for you.

'Her wings, oh mother, her wings,' said Azriel, his voice barley above that of a whisper.

Your wings. You didn't need reminding. They were gone, long and far gone. You were without a part of you, the very part of your soul that loved to be free. Never would you watch the stars up close or fly over everyone. Never race Cassian or make jokes with Az.

No, this would destroy you.

'y/n,' your half-brother called. 'No, y/n. Can you hear me?'

Your lips parted, mumbling. 'Hurts.'

Azriel's grip on you tightened. 'I know, we're gonna get you out of here, just hold on for me.'

You wanted to tell him you would hold on, you'd always need to hold on to him. That, no matter what he asks, you'd do it. To kill, to live, to breathe, to die.

And that's when it clicked. Amongst all the pain and the doubt. In your blood soaked clothes. In the fear you wouldn't make it, there was a tug. Weak and one-sided, but there. You knew you'd be safe with Azriel, knew you would always be with him.

Mate.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The pain subsided to a dull ache, there and beating but not excruciating. You were warm and covered in a soft material. Nothing like the cell you'd been kept in. Your fingertips sunk into something soft- a bed. Your bed. It was familiar in its lavender scent to you and the silk wrapped around you gave you some semblance of warmth.

Your wings.

Even coming to consciousness was difficult. You were exhausted but light, without the weight of wings holding you down. You'd never realised how much you needed to feel that weight, to feel pulled down in order to be free.

Gone, all gone.

Your hand twitches around something cold, a shadow holding your hand, creeping up your side.

'You're awake, thank the couldron.'

It wasn't Azriel, master of the shadows. It wasn't your mate. Mate. The word replayed like a terrible song in your mind.

How dare the mother do this to Az. How dare he- nothing but loyal and kind- get stuck with a person made in darkness, who bled shadows, who's heart was so full of hate there wasn't room for love. They'd cursed Az, with you.

But luckily it wasn't him, it was Rhysand.

'It really happened,' you whispered, voice hurting from the screams.

He sighed. 'I'm sorry, i'm so sorry. We-we thought you weren't going to make it, you'd lost so much blood.'

In spite of the pain in your shoulders, you made a shift, turning from him as he ranted on about your condition.

'y/n... sister, please,' he said. He'd never called you sister before. He'd always been content to treat you just like you worked for him.

'Leave me alone.' you couldn't bare to look at him, couldn't bare to face him. The shadows at your hand grew heavier, as if more were piling on. You stretched your fingers away from them, trying to get them off you.

'Are you in any pain?' asked Rhys.

'Get out,' you mumbled.

The end of your bed dipped where Rhys settled, hand splayed on the covers, begging for your hand. 'y/n.'

'Get out!' you snapped, body tense and straining. You felt your wounds open up, blood wetting the bandage around you. But you didn't care. You'd happily bleed if you couldn't fly. A part of you, sick part of you wanted to be left there. It would be better than false sympathy.

Be better than your mate being disgusted.

'Get out!' you yelled again, voice tearing through an aching throat.

'I just want to help you! please, let me help you!' said Rhys, standing from your bed and walking around, trying to face you.

'I don't want your help!' you screamed. You reached for the closest thing you could, a jug of water and chucked it toward him. You aim was terrible, marred with pain and exhaustion. 'Get out!'

Though hesitant, Rhysand slowly started walking back to your door. He did it all looking at you, his hands out to show he wasn't gonna hurt you, but you didn't care. You went for the glasses next and chucked them but they landed against the door which he disappeared through.

Before it slid close you caught sight of Cassian , Mor and Azriel. All crowded, all waiting to see you.

You'd be happy if you never let them see you again.

'Can we see her?' you hear Mor ask.

'Give her time,' said Rhys.

The shadows at your hand grew heavier, darker, tighter.

'Go away!' you yelled at them. To anyone else, you probably looked crazy, screaming to darkness. But the shadows understood. They departed, slithering away and under the crack of your door where you could see the shadows of feet.

Tumbling from bed, you stumbled over and locked the door, leaning on it to and catching your breath. Your nightgown was starting to get sticky with blood all over again. When you closed your eyes, you pictured the cell, the rough hands holding you down, the chain keeping you up.

And the pain, it all washed over you. The hacking at your back, the sting of a slap. It hit you like a tone of bricks as you slid to the floor.

There was a knock, rattling the door.

'y/n,' Cassian. 'Please let us in.'

Us. You felt him on the other side. Your mate, his presence lingering. His shadows under the door, wanting to come in but keeping their distance.

He didn't know. It hadn't snapped for him, you could tell. It was one tug on your end, a chord in your heart. At least he couldn't feel what you did. At least you could shoulder it alone.

'Please.' his voice was almost your un-doing. He sounded so sad, so desperate. It hurt you just to think you were hurting him.

Tears streamed down your face as your curled your fingers into a tight fist. You assumed Mor had left with Rhys, leaving you there with the males.

Cass was always like a brother to you. Granted- a brother you had slept with once or twice- but he was your best friend. You'd always been close to him. But you'd always been good, a happy person.

You couldn't be that for them now, perhaps ever again.

It lasted like that for hours. Cassian and Az begging to come in, you curling into a ball with tears down your cheeks and blood down your back.

Eventually, they gave up. You couldn't hear them anymore and the shadows of their boots had disappeared.

Except Azriel's shadows that still lingered under your door. Maybe he'd ordered them to be there while they left you.

Eventually, you managed to find your footing on shaking legs. Your room was large, one of the largest. It was just as much a mess as it was when you'd left for you mission, clothes thrown over the place, books propped open on the pages you'd left them on. Everything was the same but could never be again.

It took you longer than you'd care to admit to get to your windows and throw the curtains close. Candles light at your request, the house looking after you as it had since you were a child.

You caught sight of yourself in the full length mirror. It seemed smaller, everything in the room felt too large and you too small, as if you were being swallowed by the expanse of it.

Your frame was small in the mirror, your hair disarrayed. Your eyes were red and shutting of their own accord from the tears that had drained you. The starving in the cells had made you look weak, made you feel weak.

And your back. There was no more looming black figures there, no more fluttering. There was just nothing. In spite of the ache as you lifted your arm, you felt around your back, feeling the hitch there, the lump from where they'd been torn from you.

You cry. You sob. You scream.

The scars were long and the nightdress was sticking to you by the blood you'd shed. All you could do, was hold yourself up as your body wracked with tears.

A breeze came from your windows, shadows tugging at the curtains.

You felt him before you saw him. You wanted to tell him to leave you but you couldn't talk without chocking. Without feeling like you couldn't breath.

Azriel had you in your arms before your knees could hit the ground. He fell with you, softening your body on the floor. His arms held you into his chest, his legs caging you into his body. His head rested on yours as he held you. He didn't try to talk, he didn't try to help. It was just him, you and his shadows.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Azriel remembered dozing off with you, his head on yours. His arms holding you into him, as if it was up to him to keep the sadness away and take it for you.

Afterall, you were his best friend. He should have been there for you, and he'd failed terribly by letting you get hurt and your wings stolen from you. He could hate himself every day for it, for letting you down. But it would never amount to what you felt for yourself and that killed him.

He could see it in the way you cried, in the way you were already keeping everyone out. He'd rather die than let you go through all the pain alone.

When his hands had been scarred by his brothers, you'd help heal him, tell him about everything he still was and all the power he still held in his hands. In the worst days, when he didn't let anyone touch him, he let you.

It was always you.

Azriel wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, or how deep. He was sure he was still with you, still in your bed.

His shadows crept up on him, engulfing him slowly and whispering to him. Your name, just your name on repeat. It was enough to lull him back into sleep, to keep him calm.

Gone. Missing. y'n. Roof.

He shot up and ran fastest than he ever had in his life. It was as if he'd never been asleep but had been fighting a battle with the way he raced over.

He burst through the doors, the cold hight air hitting him.

You stood facing the stars, your bloody back to him. It wasn't as much blood as when he'd found you, but it was still enough to put a lump in his throat.

Immediately his shadows fell to you, cascading down your body and wrapping around your waist. There was a breeze in the air, pushing your hair back and exposing more signs of the pain and torture you must have gone through.

'I'm not gonna jump, if that's what you're thinking,' you said. You didn't even have to turn to him. The shadows probably told you enough.

'Why are you up here?' he asked, walking to you slowly and with careful steps. As if every step closer could you push you away from him.

'I'll never feel the win properly again,' you answered.

Azriel gulped down his own pain. You’d never sounded so small. ‘Can you get away from the ledge?’

'I'm not on the ledge.'

'You're too close for my liking.'

'Leave if you don't like it.'

'Don't do this,' he said.

'Do what?' you asked, folding your arms over your chest. You were cold, out in the hight but you wanted to see the stars. Needed to see them.

'Make me leave. Make everyone leave you. I know that's what you're doing. It's what you do every time,' you could feel him dawning closer. His shadows were all around you, almost drowning you.

‘Every time,’ you scoff, stepping down and turning on him. ‘It’s not every day you lose your wings Azriel! But don’t let me stop you from leaving, flap them and go!’ You yelled, unable to stop yourself, no matter how hard you tried. You didn’t want to hurt him, you just wanted to be alone.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

'You jump and I’ll catch you,' he said. He was a step away, he could just reach out and touch, just a gentle caress. 'I swear it, whatever you do, I’ll follow. I’m not letting you get away.’

He watched your back shudder as he reached out, brushing knuckles against your shoulder blade. He heard your sharp inhale follow.

'Don’t think I won’t follow, y/n.'

Finally, you turned around in his shadows. You couldn’t meet his eyes but at least you could face his chest.

His hands were gentle on your shoulder as he rubbed it gently. 'Can I get Madja to clean you up?' He asked.

You nodded as he led you away. You truly did not deserve your mate.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Fifty-two years later...

When Amarantha had trapped the high lords of Prythian under the mountain, it hadn't be a conscious choice to follow your half-brother down. How Amarantha had allowed it, you weren't sure, but perhaps she wanted to use you just like her brother, or she thought it would bring more pain for him to see you suffer under there too.

You and Rhysand had barley spoke the last two years.

It had took you almost two months to heal fully enough to leave your room, another few months to face your family again. But even then, everyone knew something had changed in you. You didn't laugh as loud or smile as wide.

Rhysand was careful to ever let you out on a mission. Mor tried to take you out every night. Cassian spent all day every day with you and Azriel- he'd healed you better than any nurse.

Still, you had not told him he was your mate.

Still, you thought he wouldn't want it.

Still, you cared for your brother enough to not want him to go alone.

But being under the mountain, you could avoid your mate. At a painful price.

Until her. Rhys's mate. He hadn't shut up about her since he first met her, much to your dismay as you had to sit around and listen- having absolutely nothing better to do. And it only got worse when she turned up under the mountain. She was declaring her love for Tamlin- again, annoying your brother, and throwing Lucien into danger- which rather angered you. You had nothing against the ginger.

Rhysand had once sent you to find the girl to summon her as part of a bargain he'd made. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to look too forceful. You'd been lucky enough to find the two tangled up in each other against a cold wall, clothes ripped and hips moving together.

'Well, well well,' you'd intterupted.

Tamlin all but growled at you, but feyre was looking over you- evidently confused. She had no idea who you were. You, in your skimpy outfit that Amarantha kept you in (they all dipped low at your back, showing off your scars) and your eyes that were like a night sky.

'Amarantha's looking for her pet and Rhysand is looking for his. Honestly, i'd be a bit more worried if I were you. You know, considering Lucien still has an eye to lose.'

The two parted with your words as you sent Tamlin back to his master, the high lord glaring at you as you went. While Feyre tried to fix herself.

'Rhysand is over there, better not keep him waiting.' That was the first time you met her, having no idea how much trouble she'd be worth. The family that she'd become.

But Rhysand made sure you knew it all. From when the bond snapped in him and he'd stumbled. He ranted and ranted as they climbed out.

If only you were so talkative about Azriel. If only you could talk about him with your brother. But you'd tried not to painfully think about him. Climbing out of the mountain. It was all you could think of.

Maybe he'd have forgotten you? it had been fifty years. He'd probably realised how happy he could be without having to take care of you.

Rhys was allowed out of the mountain, he'd felt the breeze in his hair but you hadn't in fifty long years. You stood there a moment, bathing in the warmth as everyone left, as everyone ran off for their families and courts and the war that was inevitable. Eventually, Rhys offered you his arm. 'Shall we go home?'

He winnowed you there, on the balcony of your home. In a cloud of black smoke, the two of you appeared.

He went first, slipping through the doors slowly- like it could all be taken from them any minute.

You were hesitant, taking a moment to glance at the landscape behind you. It hadn't changed, not at all. The mountains were still there, everyone was still alive. Your home. In the last years it hadn't felt like home, but how could anywhere ever feel so close in your heart.

When you could find your feat again, you managed to slip through the doors. You were suddenly aware of how little clothing you were wearing, just enough to cover your chest and run down your legs. A chill settled down your back, your scars would be on show. What a way to great them all after fifty years.

Mor had her arms around Rhys's shoulders, crying into his shoulder.

Behind them you caught Amren, with something like tears in her eyes. You were just about to tease her before a body barrelled into yours in a blur of red syphons and your feet were lifted from the ground.

'Cassian.'

His arms tightened around you. You shoulder started to dampen with tears, his tears. The last time you'd seen him cry around you was when he'd seen a dog with only three legs. 'I'm keeping you on a leash from now on, stupid idiot.'

Your arms wrap around his shoulders, a smile gracing your lips. 'Is that a promise?'

He held you longer, tighter, not daring to let you go but at least settling you on the ground. He sighed against your head, controlling himself. 'He's missed you, you know,' he said. He was the only one you'd told, about your mate. 'Now that you're back, tell him. He deserves to know.'

Cassian slowly pulled away, holding you at arms length and smiling at you. He kissed your cheeks and then your forehead before parting to Rhysand.

Mor approached you next, slapping you in the arm.

'Ow!'

'Why would you follow him?' she snapped.

You blinked at her before she took you by the arm she'd slapped and embraced you, like a sister would. You dared not looking over her shoulder to find the one who hadn't come to you. Maybe Cass had got it wrong...

Mor pulled away, wiping at her eyes.

Azriel was as beautiful as the day you left him. His hair was the same length, he was the same height. He was just as you left him. It was hard to tell fifty years had passed on him.

And inside of you, tugging in your soul and heart you felt the familiar string of gold throbbing. But you still didn't feel that tug. You'd hoped it would have faded from you after half a year separated. Or at least have snapped for him. But no such relief.

He approached you, slowly. As if he was scared of scaring you away. But you just stood there.

His arms were delicate and soft around you as he brought you into his chest. He still smelled the same, cedar wood and shadows. Shadows that wrapped around you, shielding you from the rest of the room. They caressed you, head to two.

You held onto each other for what could have been another fifty years, but this time, it wasn't so painful.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Although nobody wanted to part after yours and Rhysand's return, you were exhausted. A trip to Rita's could wait another night or two. The only thing you wanted to do was hide in your room.

Strangely, your room looked lived in. As if somebody had moved in since you'd left. A moment of anger replaced grief. Had they brought someone else and given them your room? but then you smelt it, Az.

Lying in bed that night, exhausted, you couldn't find sleep. You closed your eyes and pictured Amarantha. You'd never been afraid of her, you weren't afraid of anything. But you re-played the horrors. Watching servants beat Feyre, watching Amarantha use your brother and on the occasion, even you. How she flaunted. How the most powerful lords were weak.

Under your door, shadows seeped in, rushing across the room to you. You smiled, watching your hand disappear in their darkness.

'Azriel?' you called.

There was shifting on the other side of the door before he slipped in, clicking it shut behind him.

You sat up in bed, shadows moving with you. 'Couldn't sleep?'

He wondered in, looking around your room. 'Sleeping's been... hard.'

You rolled over, opening the blanket and nodding your head. You couldn't think about the bond, not yet. Not while he looked so.... ruined. Beautiful- the most beautiful person in the world, but sad. As he climbed in next to you, you could see the dark circles under his eyes, his shoulders slumped and his wings too.

His eyes scanned over you. You were in a thin and silk night dress that only brushed your knees, but the way he looked at you, mother you could've been naked. 'Fifty years,' his voice sounded barley controlled. 'Fifty years. You followed your brother down for fifty years? Why would you do that?'

You gulp. 'I would've done it for any of you. Except maybe Amren, she'd probably enjoy the peace for fifty years.'

You go to brush your hair back but Azriel seizes your wrist. He was angry. That's why his voice was rough and his chest rising and falling with barley controlled emotions. Could he feel it? your nerves, your lying?

'You left. You should've stayed, y/n, you know Rhysand didn't want you under there with him,' he said. 'For fifty years I haven't been able to sleep through a night thinking about the pain you must have been going through. After I swore to keep you safe, after I promised to catch you every time!'

'You couldn't have stopped me. You didn't promise, Az.'

His grip grew tighter. 'It went without saying.'

You looked around his eyes, seeing the pain and grief there also. Slowly, you brought your other hand up. He flinched as you took his cheek but eventually settled as your thumb ran over his cheekbone. 'I won't leave again, ok? I promise.'

He gulped, letting go of your wrist and looking down. 'I slept here,' he mumbled, but just loud enough to hear you. 'I couldn't sleep in my room. This was the only place I could rest.'

Your heart stuttered. Your hand dropped from his cheek. This man was your mate. Your mate. Your only love, whether or not the cauldron deemed it.

Azriel took your hesitation. 'I-i'm sorry, you probably didn't want to hear that. I've probably ruined your one place of peace-'

'Stay,' you said, before you could think of what you were asking. 'Sleeping wasn't exactly easy under the mountain either. I just trust I won't have to put a wall of cushions between us.' as if you wanted that. As if you haven't thought about his calloused hands all over you.

Azriel smiled and stayed the night.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The third time he almost lost you, broke him...

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

#acotar #azriel #cassian #rhysand #rhys acotar #feyre archeron #tamlin #lucien vanserra #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x female!reader #cassian x reader #books and reading #booktok #angst #azriel x cassian x reader

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reiderwriter · 5 months

Text

Please Accept My Apology

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: After three days spent trying to convince the BAU that they had made a mistake, Spencer Reid shows up at your door to offer his apology.

Warnings: enemies to lovers, smut 18+ minors dni, slight age gap, penetrative sex, squirting, fingering, dirty talk, name calling, degradation, hints of bdsm, implied creampie etc.

You can find my masterlist here and my 2024 song fic challenge here (don't forget to send song recommendations to my inbox!)

You never thought you'd ever see the inside of an interrogation room before this week. Now you didn't think you'd ever see the outside of it.

“Y/N, you're brother ran from law enforcement multiple times, if you know where he is you need to tell us or you'll be charged with accessory to murder and kidnapping after the fact. Is that what you want?”

“Of course it isn't what I want, but I already told you I can't fucking help you!”

You paced in the boxed room, feeling closed in and hot.

Your brother - your innocent brother - was the key suspect in a series of child abductions and murders, and as he'd ran from law enforcement multiple times, they'd dragged you into the police precinct to try to track him down.

For the last three days, you'd been stuck sitting at that table across from Doctor Spencer Reid, waiting for the worst news of your life, because you knew it was coming.

“He's not a murderer. He's mentally ill, but he wouldn't hurt anyone. I keep telling you that, why won't you believe me?”

“A lot of loved ones protest a suspect's innocence, right down to the last second.” You couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up from the depth of your chest.

“My brother is schizophrenic. He was violent before, sure, he had outbursts. But he has been monitoring his meds for the last three years perfectly. He has a job, he has a son. He would not hurt those kids.”

You had always looked up to your elder brother, even through the tough years.

He'd inherited both your fathers drinking problem and your mother's mental illness, each demon feeding the other until he had a breakdown at age 19.

You were only 17 yourself, but with no one else to hold him accountable, you'd been there. You'd checked him into a facility, you drove him to each of his doctor's appointments when he was clean. You'd been around for each sober anniversary, for each birthday and holiday and celebration that he'd made it one more year without falling into himself.

He'd reciprocated by being the most reliable man you knew. He helped put you through college when he was stable enough, he'd managed to work his way up in the ranks at his construction job. He had a beautiful wife (currently in another interrogation room with another agent) and the cutest little boy.

He'd promised you that your family struggles would end with the two of you. You'd promised each other to take care of each others families if anything happened to them in the future, and while you currently had no family to speak of, you sure as hell were going to make sure that your nephew never wanted for anything in his life.

Your brother wasn't a murderer, and you had proof enough.

“You know, you haven't asked me yet why I think he's innocent.” You took your seat again, and gathered your hands together on the table, leaning in closer to the agent in front of you.

You watched him think for a second, then mirror your pose, leaning in just as close, eyes locked with yours.

You'd talked about a lot of things these past three days, and you got the idea that he was a bit of a jackass. If not a jackass, then at least big-headed; he'd practically shouted his title of Doctor at you as he'd walked in, and made sure to correct you every time you'd called him agent or sir.

You kept doing it just to piss him off eventually.

“It's denial, Miss Y/L/N. You don't want to see the signs you'd ignored for that lingered, so you beg and protest and plead, hoping that eventually you'll turn out to be correct.” His voice was low, but you caught every word.

“While I am sure you know what you're talking about Agent Reid, that is not why I'm here still. I'm not being charged with a crime, and I've been here much longer than 24 hours. I'm free to go at any point, but I'm sticking around here, lawyer free, because I want to watch your face when you realise you'd been wrong this entire time.”

He shifted uncomfortably and you smiled, happy to get under his skin once again.

“Okay, Miss Y/L/N. What makes you so sure your brother is innocent?”

“Your profile.” His eyes slightly widened at that, and you basked in it, leaning back and waiting for him to take the bait as the tide turned in your conversation.

“We profiled that our unsub would be late 20s to early 30s, probably a family man who'd likely been abused as a child. The profile also suggested he may have had a psychotic break recently, likely as a result of coming off his meds. Your brother fits the profile, Y/N.”

He'd dug his own grave, and you were happy to see him getting ready to sleep in it too.

“No, he doesn't, Agent.”

A tense silence passed between you, and you knew his gaze was fixed on you. You let your eyes dart elsewhere, rolling down his body to his hands. They were totally still of course, but you could see how tense he was by the way he pushed them flat against the table, almost as if he were trying to ground himself, finding reassurance in the pressure.

��How does he not fit the profile?” His brows were knitted together, and his expression was one of annoyance now.

No matter how much you had shouted or let out your frustrations these past few days, he'd kept a placid look of sympathy plastered across his features. He hadn't listened, or even suggested he'd wanted to, assuming your brother was guilty.

Now he was annoyed, as if he had the right.

“Despite what your records supposedly tell you, my brother is not off his meds.”

“Miss Y/L/N, we know that your brother did not refill his prescription three months ago, and that he looked into some clinical trials in the metropolitan area and was rejected.”

“Congratulations for having 50% of the facts. My brother wasn't rejected from those trials, he withdrew because they changed the terms. They wanted to study my nephew as well to see if they could predict where hereditary cases of Schizophrenia would manifest.”

You leaned in again now, enjoying watching the thoughts rush through Spencer Reid's head once again.

“His health insurance had some issues after the withdrawal, so his prescription couldn't be filled until next week, but my brother always had six months of pills delivered.”

You watched the realisation come crashing down on the agent in front of you, though he was doing a good job of keeping himself out together.

It was time to end this conversation.

“To take part in the clinical trial, he needed to stop taking his regular medication for two weeks. Meaning he has two more weeks of his regular medication. I watched him take it Monday morning, right about when your second kidnapping occurred. My sister-in-law will confirm.”

He stood from his chair slowly and nodded at you, making his way to the door.

“And Agent Reid?” You said making sure to hold his attention one last time before he could leave. “If anything happens to my brother, I will hold you responsible.”

He slipped from the room without another word, and you relaxed into the chair, letting your eyes fall shut as you waited patiently.

Xxx

It was another week before your brother was totally cleared. He'd turned himself into law enforcement the same day you'd forced the BAU to reevaluate their profile, and both he and his wife had cracked up your story.

With nothing else to distract them, you'd been happily informed that they'd caught the actual perpetrator, and saved another victim.

You were back at home now, trying to relax, to get back on track.

You knew by the knock on the door that you weren't going to get back to your normal routine just yet.

“Agent Reid, I wasn't expecting you.” He was there at your door, and you had to brush off a wave of annoyance, forcing yourself not to slam the thing in his goddamn face.

“It's Doctor Reid. You know that, though.” He mumbled the words, jaw tense as he heaved out a sigh, trying to get to his point but being distracted by your prickly words.

“I came to talk. May I come inside?”

“We talked for three days straight, Doc. What else could we possibly need to discuss?” You made sure to block the door with your body, one arm resting on the doorframe as you leant across it, the other holding the door tightly next to you.

You thought he'd get the idea, tuck his tail between his legs, and swiftly leave you alone, but you were sadly mistaken.

Instead his eyes raked over your body as you put it on display, curiously exploring every inch you put in his eyeline.

“May I come in?” He repeated, eyes still trailing down your body. If it weren't for the heat building inside of you, you'd have slammed the door in his face. A moment's hesitation was all you got instead, as he locked eyes with you again, and you reluctantly moved an inch to the side.

You stayed there in the doorway even as he entered, his body brushing against yours almost intimately for the second, his hand faintly tracing over your hip as he stepped inside, watching you all the time.

Needing desperately to gain your composure back, you jumped into asking questions. “You're in now. What do you want?”

“I wanted to apologise.” He hadn't moved far into the apartment, and you realised aa soon as you turned away from locking the door, overestimating his distance. You spun right into his arms, one of his palms coming to your waist to steady you as the other steadied the two of you against the wall.

“And whatever would the wonderful Doctor Reid need to apologise for?”

Your words were venomous, but the heat in them rose from somewhere deeper than the acid in your stomach, somewhere more fiery than the burning sensation at the back of your throat.

“I'm trying to do the right thing here, Y/N.”

“After a week of doing the wrong thing, Spencer, I'm not sure you're fully capable of that.”

His brows furrowed as he pouted, and you hated his proximity, both too close and too far at the same time. You wanted to run him apart, and then delicately sew him back together.

“I was doing my job.”

“You almost got my brother killed.”

“I'm sorry.” He heaved out an exasperated breath with the words, body relaxing and pushing your back fully against the wall. His eyes widened, and you could tell that he hadn't meant to move you in that way, but you just stared at him still, eyes flicking down to his lips with every intrusive thought.

This was how close you needed him.

“I don't give a shit if you're sorry.” You meant the words to be harsh a warning, but you hadn't realised your heartbeat bursting from your throat, your breathy gasps for air making it sound more erotic than angry.

He blinked once, then twice, slowly as if he was a scientist observing an experiment, not wanting to take his eyes off of it until he was certain something wouldn't happen.

“You're enjoying this.”

“I'm not.”

“Your heart rate is at 127 bpm, your pupils are dilated, your breathing is shallow. You're enjoying this. Why?”

His hands didn't let up, even as he shot out his words, brows furrowing further as you resisted the urge to push him away.

It was more comfortable keeping him close.

“I told you I am not enjoying this. You're just too close.”

“So, you're having a physical reaction to me?” He asked, almost quizzically. You had expected to hear a triumphant smirk or something in his voice, but he seemed genuinely curious.

“For God's sake, Spencer, yes. Yes, you're close and it's making me uncomfortable. You spent three days making me feel uncomfortable, and now you've come back for round two, are you happy now?”

“You're not uncomfortable,” he shot out again, almost as if he couldn't stop the words from spilling out. “You're aroused.”

“Know it all.” He laughed at that, and you could feel the heat in your cheeks. You weren't sure what the hell was going on with your body, because you'd spent the week despising the man in front of you, but now a simple hand on your wrist and a laugh had you blushing like a schoolgirl.

“So what if I am aroused? You're touching me, you have me pinned against the wall, really this is your fault, Agent.”

“It's Doctor, but you can call me Spencer. Or you can go back to another colourful insult if you'd prefer?”

“You're pretty full of yourself, I thought you came to apologise.”

“I did, it's not exactly me that is acting like they want to be filled right now though.”

“Jackass,” you snapped, as he lowered his hand around to cup your ass, finally allowing himself a tiny hint at the smirk you'd predicted earlier.

You gasped as he took a handful of your ass and pulled you flush against him.

“I want to say sorry, I want to make it up to you. I'm being quite charitable here.”

“Charity, my dear Doctor, is where you give something and expect nothing in return. It seems like you want something in return.” You spat the words again but you let your hands press lightly against his chest, waiting for him to make the next move as you played with the buttons of his shirt.

“I'd be more than happy to do that, too.”

You weren't sure who reached for who, or which one of you made the first push, but you were suddenly joined together by your lips, each of you battling furiously for dominance.

Your hands pushed up desperately, clawing into his long, busy strands and pulling him down further into you as you worked against him.

He was still stronger than you though, so when he forced your head back an inch, you moved out of necessity.

“Is that enough, or should I keep apologising?”

“Nowhere near enough, jacka-” he cut you off by pushing the tip of his thumb into your mouth, using one of his legs to spread yours so he could nuzzle himself between them.

“Why so quiet now? We couldn't shut you up in those interrogation rooms, but now you're so polite and obedient.” You moaned around his thumb as he stroked your tongue, encouraging you to suck it.

You didn't need much instruction, desperate now to show off your superior skills to the man in front of you.

“That's it, show me how much you want it, my little whore.”

His hand slipped into your pants quietly, but you twitched as his hands feathered their way along your pelvic bone, twitching at the sensitivity of the connection.

His hands slipped into your panties and you knew immediately it was over for you. You were so wet, and he was going to be able to tell just how much you apparently wanted him.

You moaned as he roughly pushed your pants down, finger teasing your cunt through your panties as you still struggled to suck his thumb so you didn't make any louder noises.

“You're enjoying this.” It was no longer a question, but a confident statement, no curiosity but simple satisfaction at how good he was making you feel.

He pulled his thumb from your mouth, rubbing some saliva across your lips to make them shine before he turned you around and pushed you up against the wall. Your hands barely pushed out in from of you before your chest collided with the wall, and he was close behind you.

As he coaxed your panties down your legs, you closed your eyes and tried to keep your breathing steady, desperately clinging to some high ground where you could find it.

His fingers were hot and long, and they quickly found your clit and got to work as he ground his hard cock against your bare ass.

His pants were still on, but you could feel the outline of his dick against you, hips rutting back into him with each flick of his wrist.

“Now, come on Y/N. You said it's not charity if I receive something in return, right?” He whispered into your ear as you tried to reach behind you to grab his dick.

“We're going to take this nice and slow, and you're going to enjoy all of it.”

His fingers slowed to an aching pace as he finally pushed a first digit inside of you. His hips finished moving and his free hand held you still too, so the only friction was coming from that one hand between your legs, practically edging you.

“Fuck me, just fuck me Spencer.” You moaned in frustration.

“Doctor.” He whispered in your ear, the glee in his voice igniting your hatred of him all over again.

“What?” You spat out.

“Call me Doctor Reid, and I'll give you anything you want. You want to cum, right?”

His fingers kept their slow pace, and you could feel yourself growing more impatient, even as you grit your teeth together.

“Fuck me, Doctor Reid.”

“What about please?”

“Fuck you.” You instantly regretted your words when he pulled his hands off your body completely, retreating further into your house.

“No, shit, wait.-”

You scrambled after him as he took a seat on your couch, removing his jacket and loosening his already dishevelled tie.

“What do you want, Y/N?” He asked, palming himself through his pants as he watched you practically fall at his feet, needing his hands back on you.

“I want you to f-fuck me, please Doctor Reid.” He nodded slightly, pulling your remaining clothing off as he responded.

“That's a good little slut.” He led your hand over his cock and let you undo the buttons and pull him out. You needed no other instructions as he leaned back and pulled your legs into a firmer position.

You gave his cock a few strokes before lifting your hips and sinking back down onto him.

“So fucking wet for me, you were so aroused, baby.”

He didn't let you control the pace, but held your hips still just above him as he began pushing into you from below, lifting his hips to fill you up with each thrust.

You couldn't bite back the screams as his balls slapped against you, Spencer trying his best to fit his entire length into you with each deep thrust. You wanted to kill the man only an hour earlier, and now you were sure you wanted to have him inside you like this forever.

“Oh fuck, just like that, just like that Spencer please!”

Your hand drifted down to your cunt and you're began to rub feverishly, even as you felt the pressure build up from your gut.

The pressure was almost unbearable and before you knew it you were squirting on his cock, fingers splashing wave after wave of your arousal over his cock and clothes.

“Already squirting for me? I thought you didn't want anything to do with me, Y/N. I guess you are just a little whore.”

You twitched, but couldn't respond, as he began thrusting sloppier than ever before, grunting in your ear as he finally joined you in your mess.

His grip on your hip slipped as he finally started cumning, and you moaned feeling him so deep as he gathered you in his arms and pulled you chest to chest.

You sat there panting together for an eternity before you even thought about detangling your limbs from one another.

“You made a mess of my fucking sofa.” You said as you finally rose up slightly, looking down at the mess beneath you.

“No, Y/N, that was you. I simply helped.”

“Jackass.”

“Whore.”

You gasped as he laughed at you again, pulling your hips back down over his so you couldn't slide off his cock again.

“Don't act so scandalised when I can feel just how much that turned you on. You're enjoying this.”

You pouted a little, but let your head fall back against his chest.

“And what if I am, Agent Reid?”

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #spencer reid smut #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic

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k4vehrtz · 6 months

Text

⸻ YOU'RE A CRISIS OF MY FAITH

. ✦ . starring — dom!top! t. fushiguro / m! reader

warnings — porn with some plot, sacrilege, a copious amount of religious themes, priest! reader, virgin reader ergo loss of virginity, allusion to homophobia / internalised homophobia, unprotected sex, blowjob (r receiving), deepthroating, fingering, riding, creampie, toji lowkey has a corruption kink, use of the nickname 'angel', toji refers to the reader as father once but that is entirely in a religious sense . ✦ . wc — 2.1k . ✦ . notes — we'll all pretend that didn't just happen!! anyway!! i'm so so normal about toji...and !! i don't know what exactly falls under dark content but seeing as this contains sacrilege you've been warned nevertheless. not proof read bc t**blr stressed me out

“what does —” he stops himself mid-sentence to motion upwards, “the big man upstairs think about homosexuality?”

you swallow hard, your adam’s apple bobbing. you hadn’t expected the question, naturally. especially from the likes of toji fushiguro of all people. but you answer anyway. “well,” you murmur, averting your gaze so that you’d stare out the window as the first signs of winter begin to settle in for its extended stay instead of being forced to meet toji’s pointed gaze. “we all are subject to desires that may or may not reflect god’s light, but these desires aren’t sinful unless you act or encourage others to act on them.”

he nods almost absentmindedly in response before following up with: “…even you, i imagine, as a man of god, could fall victim to such desires?”

and you pause for a beat, your jaw tightening as an image escapes the dark recesses of your mind; the neat box you’ve forced what you deemed unpleasant thoughts into.

the man in your mind didn’t look quite like anyone you knew at first. he was just a man without a name or a face — similarly to the world before god’s divine intervention, he too was without form. but then, by chance, you met toji fushiguro and his teenage son. then the man who’d haunt your thoughts began to change.

he was older, weathered by life experiences and parenting, and taller, maybe 6’2, with messy black hair that fell over his brows. his hair reminded you of the cloudless, starless night sky. then there was that scar on the corner of his right lip. you’d imagined yourself on more than one occasion leaning toward him, pressing your lips against it before he’d open his mouth and let you explore the wet cavern.

though you shake your head as if that would dismiss your thoughts, fingers curling defensively around the window’s ledge. “everyone encounters temptation in their day-to-day, but, like god’s son, we must resist.” you counter eventually. “you’re not one for idle chatter.”

“i’m not,” he agrees, his voice smooth, something akin to the feeling of silk against your skin. it gives you goosebumps and makes the hairs stand up. he puts his hands up in mock surrender, his gaze intent. you can feel him burning holes into the back of your head. “you know, i think i’m long overdue for a confession.”

“as you wish.”

“our heavenly father has declared the following in the book of james, chapter five, verse sixteen: ‘therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective’. now, in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit, amen.”

silence — and then toji sucks in a breath, his voice thick with an emotion you can’t quite grasp but has you shifting in your seat on the other side of the confessional booth anyway. you’re, on some level, disgusted by your behaviour. it’s unprofessional at best, or perhaps the beginning of your unravelling at worst. you fear it’s the latter.

“bless me, father, for i have sinned,” the words slide off his tongue with ease, “it has been two months since my last confession.” and your eyes flutter closed, or maybe you forced them closed because you feel no better than a pervert by the way you ache at every sound that comes out of his mouth.

either way, you don’t notice the way the door creaks as toji lets himself out of his side of the confessional booth and opens the door to yours until he’s kneeling in front of you, the pads of his fingers digging into your sides. the skin of his fingers is rough, worn out from the different tasks he takes on to keep himself and megumi afloat, you think. he’s become something of a handyman around town.

“to be honest, father,” he says, now directly addressing you. “i came here fer’ your guidance…you see, i’ve been havin’ thoughts lately that i don’t think align with what god wants.” and you find yourself at a loss, your eyes still closed, though your adam’s apple bobs again as you swallow your suppressed thoughts. “my guidance?” you repeat quietly, “confess your…thoughts…then, and seek forgiveness. it’s not a sin unless you act on those thoughts.”

he lets out a pleased hum at that, leaning forward so that his face is practically buried in your clothed crotch. “so,” he counters, “if my understanding is correct, would it be a sin if i told you to spread your legs f’me?”

you don’t trust yourself to speak right now — not when your thoughts are all muddled. so, you simply nod and toji clicks his tongue. “but sin or not, you’re going to anyway because you and i both know how we feel about each other, right? c’mon, use your big boy words and tell me.”

the smart thing—no, the right thing to do here would be to say no. adamantly deny the lingering touches and glances that the two of you had come to share. affection between two men could only go so far. but then again, you’ve gone so much farther in the safety of your bedroom long after the sun has set. how much longer could you shamelessly show your face to the other members of the church and listen to them confess their deepest secrets to you? you’re parading as a righteous man when you’re anything but.

if it turns out to be as bad of a sin as they say, god will strike you down.

turns out it’s not as bad of a sin as they say — or maybe it is and you’ve yet to receive divine punishment.

“god works in mysterious ways,” you say under your breath but toji hears it anyway. how could he not when you’re in such proximity to each other? you hadn’t meant to say it out loud but it doesn’t matter. and toji (ever the charmer) takes it upon himself to respond, “maybe he brought us together for a reason…or maybe i’m one of lucifer’s lackeys sent to seduce you.”

you make the conscious decision to ignore that which seems to entertain toji even more. he’s ridiculous in ways you can’t fathom. like…the way he’s got your legs spread, back pressed firmly against the wood of the confessional, your thighs trembling as he clicks his tongue, “spread yer’ legs a little wider f’me angel, s’not enough f’me to suck that pretty cock.”

he… he knows what he’s doing. whereas you were clumsy and inexperienced. but, to be fair, you had taken a vow of celibacy when you were twelve.

now, though, you’re experiencing true pleasure for the first time — and with a man, no less. you tilt your head back in what little space the confessional affords you as toji gives your balls tentative touches, maybe light squeezes, as he aligns the head of your leaking cock with his mouth. you’re embarrassed, warmth flooding your cheeks, but you can’t look away. not when this is all you’ve ever wanted.

there’s pre-cum on his lips; your pre-cum. it’s there, as clear as day, and he’s entirely unbothered. all of his attention is on your cock. your cock that’s throbbing as he sucks on it. pre-cum and saliva mixing. it’s all so new to you.

as for him…well isn’t this cute? you’re trying your hardest to stifle those needy moans of yours, he can tell. but no matter how much you bite down on your lower lip or how you press your hands against your mouth those pretty sounds you make always find a way of escaping. part of him, somewhere deep down, feels guilty for corrupting you like this. but perhaps he doesn’t feel guilty enough.

he continues to work on your cock, sucking on it whilst simultaneously fondling with your balls. you’re quivering, rutting your hips forward now and then. occasionally you go too far and it scares you at first — you didn’t mean to push your cock all the way to the back of his throat! ever the unbothered, though, he welcomes it until you’re spurting your load down his throat. and he swallows, utterly content.

then he coos at you, bringing a thumb up to your face, and tracing the outline of your jaw. “don’t worry about me, angel, you’re not going to hurt me. what you’re going to do f’me is let me reposition us so i can see your pretty boy hole, m’kay? my boy can do that f’me, right?”

my boy. the idea of being his. after so long…it only feels right. so, you allow him to readjust your position so that you’re straddling his lap and somewhere in the process you both disregard your clothes.

“you’ve been thinking about my cock? that’s why yer’ hole is winking f’me? all ready to take my cock like a big boy?” he asks and you nod your head eagerly. every word that comes out of his mouth is dirty but your reactions are the icing on the cake. you’re not the quiet, unassuming priest he met by chance all those months back. and to think that he’s the reason why.

well, he doesn’t linger on the thought. you’re impatient, squirming on his thighs in search of friction. but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t get him going and he may be many things but he would not force himself into you without properly preparing you to take him.

so as much as you whine about it, he ultimately takes his time with you. the nearest lubricant happened to be some sort of oil, but he made sure that it was safe to use before coating his fingers in a generous amount. then he oh so carefully drags his finger across your hole. it makes you shudder, but after a few minutes of this, you find yourself unprepared for the stretch of fitting a singular digit in. it hurts and the moment you so much as whimper toji’s pressing his lips against yours. the same lips that were around your cock only moments ago. his lips are gentle, soothing, even.

and he keeps it like that — his lips against yours as he slowly introduces more fingers into your ass. it takes a while but your pained whimpers soon morph into more desperate, filthy little noises as he drags his fingers in and out of your hole before curling them, tips grazing your prostate.

you want it, you decide. his cock, that is. you want his cock in your ass beyond a reasonable doubt. it’s all you need. bouncing on his fingers feels good but you just know that his cock would feel so much better.

“this is a sin, we’re both sinning,” you announce, your words strong but your delivery coming in between laboured gasps as his fingers continue to graze your prostate. “so i expect you to fuck me like you mean it.”

and he doesn’t need to be told twice. with a scoff — one that sounds more amused than annoyed — he pulls his fingers out of you. shaking his head as you whimper at the loss. but it’s soon replaced by something bigger and much thicker. it’s his cock, covered in the same oil, and you almost can’t believe it when he’s aligning it with your entrance, pushing past the tight ring of muscle.

you have to take a few breaks before you fully sink on him with a low groan. he makes you feel so full and he hasn’t even moved yet. and when you take it upon yourself to ride him you revert to the softheaded boy he makes you out to be.

your movements are clumsy — mediocre, you’re sure of it. but toji doesn’t intervene. he simply leans back, big, warm hands on your hips, while you figure out your rhythm. and after a few failed attempts you find one that works for both of you. it feels good, it feels great even. his hard cock filling you to the brim while you all but mindlessly bounce on his cock, your walls clenching around his throbbing length.

you’re going to cum soon, you’re sure of it. and when you do eventually watch through teary eyes as your cock spurts ropes of cum onto his stomach you’re not surprised whatsoever. toji, however, takes a lot longer to cum. you’ve probably cum at least two more times by the time toji takes control, his grip on your hips tightening as he angles you just the right way to hit your prostate with each thrust of his hips upwards. your toes curl, eyes half-lidded, and you just barely acknowledge the warmth of his semen in your ass.

all you can think of, and just barely manage to stutter out is: “you’ve fucked me,” and he stares up at you with a smug smile, chest heaving as he copes with his orgasm that has been a long time coming, “yeah, i’ve fucked yer’ pretty boy hole.”

#x male reader smut #x bottom male reader #toji x male reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #toji x you #toji x y/n #jjk x y/n #x sub male reader #jjk x male reader #toji fushiguro #toji smut

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rboooks · 1 year

Text

DP x DC: Child Support

John Constantine has done a lot in his life. Some good, some bad but most have been dangerous.

He sold his soul to as many powerful beings as he could so that they could fight each other over it and keep him in a safe-ish stalemate. It was a risk, one where he had to sweet talk, maneuver, and sometimes seduce his way through, but he's always come on top.

Waking to his wards broken as easily as someone walking through a still river meant he had finally met his match. John woke to the Time looming over him in its adult form.

Clockwork, the physical concept of Time, smashed into a body and consciousness. It's so rare to see the god outside his tower; to even be in his presence was such a high honor that families would keep proof of the encounter for generations to brag about.

"Hello, Johnny," Clockwork said in his specialized adult form. The nickname curved with fondness. This form is an even rarer sight to behold. Clockwork looked about to be in his late twenties, dressed in a Victorian-era suit with dark black hair, he would look human were it not for his pure red eyes and time staff.

He looks gorgeous.

John smiled nervously. "Clockwork. What do I owe the pleasure?"

The ghost hums. "I have come to make a deal with you."

See, that's not something John would like to hear from the second-strongest being in the multiverse. He was second to the Ghost King. Some would even argue that Clockwork was stronger were it not for his desire to remain neutral in conflicts for the sake of different timelines.

"What kind of deal?" John asks with a lustful grin, running his eyes up and down Clockworks form. It looks like he may have to seduce his way out of this again and hopefully could convince the god of Time that he was a great time in bed instead of dead once more

The Master of Time appears amused but unwilling to climb under the sheets with him. Bollocks, if he wasn't back for another month of pleasure then the deal would likely be unpleasant.

Even if Clockwork could be considered a past fling, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't ask for something harmful. John had less powerful exes who would gladly have him killed just as likely as they would key his car.

To make thinga worst, Clockwork reached into his gentleman jacket to pull out a small jar. John's heart leaped in horror at what was inside.

"I have collected every piece of your soul through challenges, purchases, or even offerings. I own you entirely, John Constantine," Clockwork said, his warm tan skin rippling into blue as the Ghost turned the jar this way and that. "I wish to return it to you, with my added protection, should the old contracts which you swindled will not seek out revenge in exchange, you must take responsibility."

John can barely breath "Responsibility of what?"

Clockwork gestures behind him, and out of the shadows step a human boy. A human boy that looks precisely like human-Clockwork as a teenager but with John's eyes and the shape of John's nose.

No.

He knows that despite how similar they look, Humans and the citizens of the Infinite Realms aren't biologically the same. He just didn't think that meant this.

That he could be so careless it resulted in this.

Clockwork waves a hand between them. "Jonny meet your son, Danny."

John choked as Danny awkwardly waved at him. He even stuffs his hands into his pockets the same way John would stuff his hands into his trench coat.

This can't be happening.

"Our son is half human, and it's unhealthy for humans to remain in the Infinite Releams for long periods. I now require you to raise him on Earth until his core is ready. The day our son is of age, you will have your soul back with my Infinite protection. Danny will take the throne of the Infinite Realms upon his marriage so do help him find a good suitor."

Clockwork considers the rapidly paling human with large amounts of glee. "I trust this would be acceptable? I must warn you, I have raised him outside of time, so he is a bit behind with modern technologies and references. He also has a ghost form he must use for his health. Oh, and, Danny has a peanut allergy, so keep that in mind for his meals. If anything were to happen to Danny while he lives with you, I would erase this entire place and not through time manipulation. I will simply kill everything. Keep you alive so I can kill every version of those you love across the multiverse in front of you. Try not to slip away from your child support to prevent that, yes?"

John faints.

Danny Fenton had to be removed from his dimension to erase Dan from existence. His future self had nearly escaped the Clock tower they couldn't risk a second time. Clockwork had told him removing him from his dimension, his timeline, would never allow Dan to exist. It broke his heart but to save the many lives that Dan took Danny had agree.

His friends and family were devastated even if Clockwork told them Danny would be allowed visits. Just nothing longer than a week and six months between visits. He had moved into Clockwork's haunt, becoming an assistant to the master of time. He helped weave timeliness, and suggested possible choices for various creatures of various situations across the multiverse.

Danny helped Clockwork control fate, if that wasn't ridiculous. He even tried his ghost powers, to the point he felt he could truelt match his mentor in a fight.

He spent two years like this- or two years in his home dimension. Time didn't move in Clockwork's tower so despite the amount of time he lived there Danny didn't look a day over fourteen still. It irked him like nothing else to see Tucker and Sam as sixteen year Olds while he still looked like he was a freshman.

(It also hurt to see them move on without him.)

However, due to his halfa status, his human side was starting to fall apart. He needed sun, food, sleep, and other humans. He would go mad otherwise, and none of this would matter if it resulted in Dan.

Clockwork couldn't put him back home. He couldn't even put Danny in an alternate timeline, for he could not be close to people he knew.

He had to go to one that had no various of anyone Danny knew. Thankfully the Infinite Releams is connected to plenty of places that fit the bill. All Clockwork had to do was twist a few small events, and boom, Danny Fenton would have a perfectly legal background with everything he need for survive.

If only his mentor wasn't such a michivious prankster.

" You want me to pretend to be your love child with some random magic guy?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Trust me Danny, it's going to be hilarious."

(Part 2)

#dc x dp crossover #John Constantine takes on Danny #Clockwork ans John were a fling #John is losing his mind.#Danny went along with it cause his bored #Child Support

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charmedreincarnation · 8 months

Note

When I say that this journey is real, and our struggles are not in vain, I am shouting it from the rooftops. A month ago, I woke up with my dream life. Obsessed with the "void state", I woke up one day being the same person but with an entirely new life. All because I chose it.

Your efforts aren't going unnoticed. The universe is always on your side. You are the universe. It's been a month, and I still feel overwhelmed with joy and wonder every single day.

I was once poor and battling depression, a reality many can relate to. But we found the law because we knew we deserved more. You can be ordinary, flawed, even unkind, but you can choose to transform and have it all. And I did just that. My parents, who were illegal immigrants working underpaid jobs, are now wealthy and respected figures. My last name alone garners recognition, and I am a socialite earning money just by being me.

I used to live in an attic infested with cockroaches. Now, I reside in a four-story mansion, complete with exotic cars, house help, cooks, drivers - all treated and compensated fairly. We also own three other houses across the United States.

I was once insecure, severely underweight, and bullied. Today, not only am I stunningly beautiful, but I am also praised for my fashion sense. I was once a dull person, but now I am radiant with positivity.

I attended an underfunded school where I was bullied, and teachers lacked resources to intervene. Now, I study at a prestigious private school that assures my entry into an Ivy League university. Finally, I am respected and appreciated.

I was lonely and uninteresting. Now, I am vibrant with a close-knit group of friends and a man who seems straight out of a Wattpad story. He's perfect, and he's mine.

This transformation happened overnight. And I've been on this journey since 2020. But how??? I surrendered to my imagination!

The void was overwhelming, but now I can easily navigate it. I was tired of giving my power away. So, I gave in to myself, to my dreams. I knew I deserved it. Even if I didn't believe it at times, I made the choice. If you desire something, it's already yours. It's done.

I didn't have a list or anything of my desires, just a vision of happiness. I didn't know what it looked like, but I knew how it felt. Now, I embody that feeling every day. My life is a series of plot twists. It's not perfect, but my worst days now are what I once prayed for. That old life? POOF It's gone. All I have is now, and I'm living it to the fullest.

My advice?

Stop seeking proof. If you're looking for proof, you'll never manifest your dreams because the only thing that needs to change is self. Doubt is a reflection of your disbelief in yourself. When I surrendered to my imagination, it didn't matter who was lying or telling the truth, because I had my truth. The burden of proof lies within you. It's called the law of assumption. You might harbor some doubt, but you must have faith like the devout. They believe without proof. You can too! We all can! Believe in yourself, and the universe will conspire in your favor!!!!

I agree! Your words resonated with me a lot. Faith, particularly self-faith, is such an important tool in shaping our realities. The ability to trust ourselves, our desires, and our potential is essential in manifesting our dream life, and it’s only so beautiful to slowly see yourself give yourself all your trust when you’ve never even liked yourself.

You're spot on about the issue of seeking confirmation from others. It's an unnecessary hurdle that we give ourselves but it’s human nature. Our truths and dreams should not be validated by anyone else but us. As you said, why should it matter if someone lied or told the truth? We are the creators of our own lives and thus, the only validation we need comes from within.

And I wholeheartedly agree with your point about deservingness. We don't have to earn our desires or prove ourselves worthy of them. If we want something, that desire alone makes us deserving of it.

More importantly I am very proud and happy for you !!!! You’re a testament of what our own imagination can do for us and I hope you only keep getting happier and happier <3!!!!

#sucess story #manifestation #law of assumption #dream life

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cooki3face · 10 months

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your first time alone with your spouse 🖤

I finally sorted out a content schedule for my tarot readings, Instagram page, and TikTok account so I’ll be posting large tarot readings every other day, and in the days in between I’ll be posting things like channeled messages from your person and three card pulls over on my Instagram and TikTok. If you don’t follow me on my Instagram account already go check it out, @cookiefacetarot where I post channeled messages from your person, divine masculine and divine feminine channeled messages, divine masculine and divine feminine energy updates and affirmations for those of you who are in high-level soul mate connections or twin flame connections. I’ll also be doing mini-channeled messages from Spirit as well as horoscope forecasts on Mondays. I love you so much, thanks for reading this little blurb before I get into the reading! 🖤

***

I'm so excited about these readings, I can feel the love and the energy entering the room. 🥹

This person is going to spend a lot of money to make this night extra special, they may go the extra mile to figure out where you're going to go, where you’re going to honeymoon, they’re going to be thinking about the food, the music, it’ll be a whole production. I’m also hearing spirit telling me that you’re not going to want to make a spectacle of your marriage or your wedding night right away. There’s something specific coming through for a handful of you about the things you’re going to achieve with this person or the moments you’re gonna share together that you’ll want to wait to share with the world because you never want to take something that’s developing or is meant to be protected and give everyone access to it right away. Your first pregnancy you’ll probably want to wait a while to announce. Your engagement you’ll probably want to keep a secret for a while or at least until you guys are married, you guys may marry very quickly because you guys just can’t wait. I’m hearing “private until it’s permanent”

I see this person not making quick moves or even having any particular intentions toward you or expectations for this wedding night. We all know what goes on between a couple on the night of the wedding but I see this person really wanting to slow down and enjoy your energy and enjoy the energy that comes with being married. The sun card in reverse talks about one’s inner child. You may have known this person for a long time here or had a very long process of coming into union with this person once and for all and this is such a wish fulfillment for them and they could’ve dreamed of the day you were married a long time. This person values you, they want to spend time with you. I’m hearing “Life isn’t near long enough a sentence to be with you.” If this person could they would ask for more time when it was their time to pass on so they could spend it with you. This person adores you, this person wants to go where you go.

I see this person going out of their way to use their connections and resources to make this night as special as they envisioned it to be. They’ve been manifesting a long-term commitment with you for a long time and then getting it is proof they're meant for something in this life or that the universe loves them I’m hearing. This person fully intends to sit with you and enjoy you all night long. I hear you guys staying up all night together and talking about your memories, laughing, genuinely enjoying your time together, and shifting into the energy that will be there and be shared within your life together. There’s genuine love here, genuine affection, and support. This person couldn’t be happier and they may tell you this that night. You guys could share a lot of intimate embraces this night as well. Feeling each other's skin, feeling each other's touch in deep profound ways because you know that the worst is over and your time to be together and spend the rest of your lives together has finally arrived. I’m hearing “At Last” by Etta James but particularly Beyoncé’s version because I prefer it. When you’re really in love you listen to Beyoncé’s version. When it’s bittersweet and you want to cry a little you listen to Etta’s version.

This night will give the two of you the space and the time to finally be done with any heartbreak and really truly put the past behind you and rejoice now that your connection is harmonious and has reached the point the two of you’d been wishing for and working towards all along. This connection will be so harmonious and you guys will compliment one another so well and empower one another that this single connection will birth an entirely new reality for the two of you. Enlightening the both of you spiritually, giving the two of you the power to join forces and go after life as a unit and bring prosperity and abundance most people could not even dream of. You and this person will be a power couple or may even grow to do something that will help many people. Individually and together. There couldn’t be a better match.

This Union will bring about such powerful change and enlightenment and alignment for the two of you. Bringing about the release of any self-limiting beliefs and fears. I’m hearing once the two of you are open, you’ll remain that way. Your higher selves belong to one another, you’ll feed off of each other's energies, ideas, courage, and love.

You’ll be rich together. In love and in finances.

The months of August and September as well as the fall and winter months and those seasons may be significant to you or connection. 🍂

***

ii.

This person wants to love you down pile two. I see this person planning a really intimate and romantic wedding night with you. They know they want to make love to you. I’m also getting you’re going to look so good on your wedding day that this person is going to want to get hot and heavy as soon as you guys get in the door. This person is so passionate about you. And not in a negative way like that’s all they see you as but they’re so passionate about you, nobody turns them on like you do and they’ll instantly be ready to show you just how much. With the fool card in reverse they could’ve been holding back all day or for a really long time, the two of you could’ve waited till marriage to be intimate or could’ve abstained from sex for a little while while you were waiting to be married.

This person has very romance novel esc fantasies about you lol they may enjoy romance novels or enjoy romance as a genre as a whole. And I think this person feels as though they’d be taking a risk by coming towards you in this way or revealing how much they desire you to you pile two. You may not have ever seen this person in this light or seen how passionate they can be or what the other side of them is like. This person could be like night and day. Very sweet on the surface, very passionate and sexual within. You may not have had a lot of sex with this person, your relationship could’ve been really emotionally intimate or really heavily influenced by emotions and just being sweet and gentle with this person but this person desires you in ways you don’t know the real scope of I’m getting. This person craves being one with you and I think that their sexually charged energy is really a deep desire to be extremely close to you and become one.

This person wants to feel deeply connected with you and on your wedding night, they will. You’re this person's ten of cups. You’re this person's true divine love and harmonious connection. This person knows your the one and has known it for a long time and the way they see it, no matter the distance, no matter what happens, you’ll always be their person and they’ll always love you no matter what. The wish fulfillment of being wed to you only makes them wish to be close to you more, which only makes them happier. This person could really like it when you do things for them or really enjoys it when you take care of them, it makes them feel incredibly special and loved. This would be the person who would take care of you for the rest of your days just to return the smallest gesture you did for them like three years ago, January 2nd at 3:30 pm because they love you so much.

This persons feels indebted to you for the rest of their life just because you exist and it’s an honor to be indebted to you in their eyes. The appreciation and devotion this person has with you is truly unmatched. I’m hearing “I wouldn’t rather be any place else or with anybody else.” This person could’ve told you this before or had been telling you this for a long time.

This person has never had to think about if you were the one or not or question their love for you. They’ve always felt safe by you, they’ve always wanted nothing more than to be loved by you.

***

iii.

I see you getting everything you deserve on your wedding night pile three, you could even be nervous or unaware of a surprise or something that's being prepared for you behind the scenes by your partner but it'll be everything you could ever wish for. You could be heavily manifesting a specific outcome but your person really has your back and they’ll come through for you. You may not have met the person you’re going to marry yet but this person is going to invest so much time into really getting to know you and really studying you. This person will be so incredibly romantic and creative. This person knows what you need. You may even be stressed out while planning the wedding or on the day of the wedding and you may even have conflicts with others, guests, a mother-in-law, a father-in-law, or even have some disagreements with your partner about what is that you want to do but I’m hearing that this person knows you beyond your fears and they may even know you better than you know yourself and when they come to the rescue and plan things out for you you always really enjoy what they’ve put together even if you were worried about it in the beginning.

You could be really particular about things and sometimes indecisive but this person knows you so well that they bring your deepest manifestations to fruition without you even having to communicate what you need and what you want. This person completes you, the two of you fit together like puzzle pieces. I’m hearing this person is going to make your wedding night extremely relaxing for you and make your honeymoon extremely relaxing. They may draw you a bath the first night, help you take your shoes off, or help you take down your hair, take the clips out of your hair, and get unready. This person will help you decompress before they help themselves decompress because in this person's mind their purpose is to make sure you’re cared for and happy. No ask is too big for this person.

You may have trouble in your love life or have had bad experiences with relationships and not getting everything you deserve but this person isn’t going to be like that for you and that’s why you’re marrying them because this person will show up and prove to you how worthy you are of care and affection without you having to ask for it or compromise. This person would never let anyone hurt you, and they would never hurt you. I hear they’d do a good job of standing up for you and showing the world and everyone else how much they love and appreciate you. You’re a top priority to this person. There’s nobody better. There’s nobody more worthy. You may cry a lot or be someone who is very emotionally driven and very easily stressed out or moved and this person will be the most perfect support system. I’m hearing you don’t need any more friends and family lol this person IS friends and family.

This person moves mountains and any blockages out of your way. This person is very passionate about you. Whatever they can do to make your life soft and easy they will. I’m hearing “spoiled.” This person is going to spoil you and really make sure you feel overly loved and safe. Especially heard and seen. You may have grown up being ignored or invalidated constantly by parents, family members, or even friends and this person is going to allow your inner child to heal and allow you to shed the limiting idea that you’re really not truly worth being listened to or that other peoples needs are more important than yours. You’re the whole world to this person, you could not ask for a bigger role in this person's life.

This person is going to be very gentle and patient with you. Any time you have a hard time expressing yourself, they’re going to be there to help you and understand what’s going on. Anytime you’re stressed out and can’t handle the weight of something they're going to be there to carry it with you. This person is going to allow you to be able to pause and release things and receive effortlessly. Don't settle. This person will come.

***

Beautiful piles today, these were all very sweet and emit such strong energy of safety and stability and I can’t help but be happy for everyone lol I love you. Thankyou for coming to visit me, make sure you come back soon and bring your loved ones. If you’d like to book a personal reading with me you could find my booking link in my Instagram bio. Thank you. 🖤

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bell4lan · 8 months

Text

Nightclub

Genre: Smut

DNI: NON-MLM/NBLM, fujoshis, mlm/nblm fetishizers, trans fetishizers

CW: Semi-public sex, bathroom sex, feminine words used for privates (cunt, pussy), words like t-dick, dick, and folds are used to describe reader's privates too, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, reader is called "good boy", "baby boy", and "whore", age difference (6 years), alcohol use, they're not too intoxicated to consent I promise

Character(s)/Reader: Top Wriothesley x Bottom Trans Male Reader

You slammed the door as you stormed out of your apartment. Your boyfriend was being a total ass, trying to gaslight and manipulate you into thinking he never cheated on you with one of his friends. Although you didn't explicitly say the words "we're done", you both knew it was over, and he hated that. You still had to get your stuff out of the shared apartment, but you were far too hurt and angry to even see him or anything he owns. Archons, you needed a drink.

You found yourself in a nightclub surrounded by intoxicated college students having the night of their lives. You wish you were in their position. Instead you're a sober college student having the worst night of your life. You scanned the room for the bar and quickly pushed through the crowd once you found it.

"3 shots of tequila please." You said tiredly as you sat down. The bartender nodded and quickly grabbed the shot glasses and filled them with the alcohol. You downed one, face contorting as it burned your throat, it was a good burn.

"Bad night?" A man to your right asked as he watched you down the second shot. You nodded, and then downed the third and ordered 3 more. "What's on your mind?" He asked before sipping his drink. You glanced over at the man expecting some desperate and tired looking college student, but no. The man was older, definitely out of college but definitely not 10 years older than you. He was muscular and tall, dressed in a button down that wasn't fully buttoned up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and some slacks. He was sexy as fuck.

"My boyfriend cheated on me." You replied flatly and grabbed a fourth shot. The man shook his head disapprovingly as he sipped his drink again, waiting for you to continue. "At first he tried to deny it and say it was all in my head and that I was overthinking, but once I showed him the proof I had he started blaming me for it." You scoffed before downing the fourth shot. You didn't know why you were telling your dirty laundry to a man you started talking to maybe 5 minutes ago, but you needed to get this anger out of your system somehow.

"What a prick." He said, all you did was nod and stare at him.

"So, why are you here? Waiting for someone?" You asked, not wanting to get any angrier from the topic of your ex boyfriend. The man shook his head and sipped his drink again.

"Just relaxing after a long day at work." He said. That explained the outfit he was wearing. You continued the conversation from there, wanting to get to know the sexy man beside you. You barely understood what exactly he did for a living, but you did know he was a powerful man with a powerful position.

"You're a very interesting man (Name), so far the only interesting one i've met here." He chuckled after you told him more about you, making you smile.

"You know, i've learned so much about you and yet I don't even know your name." You pointed out. The man smiled at you before properly introducing himself.

"My name is Wriothesley." He said. His name was unusual, but it suited him well.

"My name is (Name). How old are you Wriothesley?" You asked.

"30. You?"

"24." You responded. He nodded, a little shocked from the age difference. He was expecting you to be at least 26. You smiled at his look of shock and decided to tease him.

"What? Too young for you?" You said, playfully nudging him.

"Not at all, it's only 6 years." He chuckled. Fuck his laugh was hot. This man was the sexiest man you had ever seen in your entire life. It wasn't just his looks. His personality, sense of style, voice, they were all enough to make you squeeze your thighs together in an attempt to calm down.

"I don't think you'd be able to keep up with me old man." You teased.

"You'd be surprised as to what I can do." He replied, smirk growing from your words. The sexual tension between you two was so thick it could be cut with a knife. You wanted him, he wanted you, but you both were hesitating to make the first move.

"Oh yeah? And what can you do?" You asked, moving closer to him. His left hand moved to your thigh and gripped it firmly.

"How about I show you?" He smirked. Your breath hitched and you quickly nodded, not wanting to pass up sex with such a fine man. You both got up and he led you to the bathroom, closing the door once you both were in. The moment you heard the door click closed you kissed him, pushing him against the door as you desperately moved your lips against his. His strong hands gripped your waist and pulled you against him, the both of you moving your hips to grind on each other. He started walking you toward the sink, pushing you up against it as he kissed you. His hands unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down along with your underwear, breaking the kiss to get a good look at you. You realized you never told him you were trans and instantly felt insecure.

"Shit- sorry I should've told you. I was too caught up in the moment and-" You were cut off with a passionate kiss. He pulled away again and cupped your cheek with one hand, the other one on your hip.

"It's fine, don't worry. There's no need to apologize." He said calmly. His words were so kind that you didn't know what to say, so you just nodded. His hand moved from your cheek down to your cunt and felt up your folds and t-dick.

"You're so fucking wet for me. How long have you been thinking about this hm? Be a good boy and tell me." He commanded, voice dripping with seduction. His thumb went to your t-dick and stroked it as he waited for a response.

"S-Since I saw you." You breathed out, trying your hardest to not moan as you spoke. He chuckled, and ran his middle and ring finger along your folds to get them lubed up. He ran them down to your hole and pushed his middle finger in. You moaned quietly at the intrusion, not used to such a thick and long finger inside you. He thrusted it in and out a few times before pushing his ring finger in, biting his lip as you squeezed him.

"You're so tight, I think you'll be the one unable to keep up with me." He whispered as he thrusted the two fingers in and out. Your moans got louder as he sped up, your hands gripping onto his shoulders to help you keep your balance.

Before you could cum, he pulled his fingers out and sucked on them, humming at the taste of you. He unbuttoned his pants and pulled out his cock. Your eyes widened at the size, he was thick and long, longer than your ex that's for sure. He chuckled at your reaction and told you to turn around and bend over the sink. Once you did, you felt his tip rub against your pussy and nudge your t-dick before going back to your hole. Slowly, he pushed himself in, hissing slightly at the tightness. You moaned loudly as your pussy stretched around his cock, getting fuller and fuller and he pushed in.

It wasn't long before he started thrusting into you, thick cock destroying your hole. You held onto the sink as tightly as you could as he pounded you, legs shaking as he fucked into the spot that made you see stars.

"Wr-Wriothesley- Wrio- fuck~." You whined, trying to get his attention. He slowed down a bit so you could speak properly.

"What is it baby boy? Everything alright?" He asked gently. Although he treated you roughly and said the filthiest things to you, he was worried about harming you. All he wanted was to make you feel good.

"U-Uncomfortable- ngh." You stuttered as he slowly thrusted into you. You didn't know how much longer you could stand like this, and the sink pushing against you with every thrust was starting to hurt. He pulled out and turned you around, picking you up so your legs would wrap around his waist. He pushed you against the wall and carefully inserted his cock into you again, biting his lip when you moaned out his name. His pace picked up and soon you were screaming out his name again as he fucked you against the wall.

"Wrio-th-thesley i-i'm so cl-ose!" You whimpered, bucking your hips trying to get him to give your dick some attention. He got your hint, and held you in one hand as the other stroked your t-dick, still thrusting into you.

"Yeah? Y-You gonna cum all over my cock baby boy? How does it feel getting- f-fucked like a whore by a man you met two hours ago h-huh?" He stuttered, feeling himself get closer as your pussy clenched around him, faces just inches apart.

"F-Feels so g-good Wriothesley!" You responded, voice breaking from how close you were. Your thighs tensed as he kept thrusting into you and stroking your t-dick. The thing that pushed you over the edge was him whimpering your name into your ear. You came hard all over his cock, squirting a little bit as he kept fucking you.

"Fuck i'm gonna cum." He whispered as he kept fucking you.

"C-Cum inside me." You whined, tears streaming down your face from the overstimulation. He looked at you a bit worried.

"A-Are you sure?" He asked, dick twitching at the thought of finishing inside you. You nodded quickly and squeezed your cunt around him. Soon after, he came with a groan, hot cum spilling inside of you. His thrusts came to a stop as he softened inside you, both of you trying to catch your breath. He kissed you passionately as you both recovered from your orgasms, tongues intertwining and hands gripping onto each other.

"Fuck i've never met a man as sexy as you (Name). You're fucking perfect." He panted as his thumb ran across your bottom lip. Carefully, he pulled out and grabbed you since you couldn't stand on your own. He looked down and saw as his cum dripped down your leg. You heard him whisper "fuck" before he kissed you again. You couldn't believe you had found such a man, one that showed you more love and care in 2 hours than your ex had in 2 years. You didn't know what kind of relationship you wanted with him, but you knew for sure you wanted to fuck him again.

You broke the kiss to catch your breath and tell him you both should clean up. He nodded, but didn't move. He swallowed heavily as he looked into your eyes, seemingly nervous.

"Would you like to spend the night at my place?" He asked politely, his hand cupping your cheek. You smiled at him and nodded, moving your hand up to hold his.

"Of course, but if you don't clean me up soon I'll change my mind." You said, making him laugh. He quickly yet carefully cleaned you up and helped you get dressed. He held onto you as he led you to the exit, but before you got there you stopped.

"Shit I didn't pay for my drinks. We need to go-"

"Don't worry about it." He cut you off. You looked up at him confused.

"What? Wriothesley i'm not going to leave without paying." You said firmly.

"I own the place baby boy, you don't have to pay." He whispered into your ear. Your eyes widened, a smile forming on your face as you looked at him.

"Do you say that to every guy you take home?" You joked.

"Only the ones that really peak my interest." He said smoothly.

"But you said I was the only interesting guy you've met here?"

"I know." He replied, not looking at you as he led you to his car. You could feel butterflies erupt in your stomach as you realized what that meant. You were the only guy he's taken home? Were you really that special?

Maybe you do want something more with this man. You hoped he felt the same, little did you know he's felt that way since he saw you.

---------------------------------------------------

I was not expecting to start and finish a story today but I really hope you guys enjoy it! I really like this story and am quite proud of it ^^

#genshin impact x male reader #genshin x male reader #ftm reader #wriothesley x male reader

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suiana · 11 months

Text

✎ yandere! loser headcanons . . .

✎ warnings . . .

― stalking, manipulation, delusional yandere, mentions of p0rn, slight nsfw, stockholm syndrome (?) etc.

(gn! reader x male yandere! oc)

✎ yandere! loser who's basically a shut in, rarely coming out of his apartment except for compulsory lessons at university. he's a huge loser, shit talking others during games, messy apartment, dark eye bag circles, always ordering delivery for his food... he's practically the embodiment of the word loser! if it weren't for his rich parents he would not survived a day past his 18th birthday.

✎ yandere! loser who sees you as his salvation, the only hope in his dark life. through your streams he found purpose in his life - to be with you. and when he found out you went to the same university as him? he just knew that you were meant to be with him! why else would you speak his username so lovingly every time he donates to you?

✎ yandere! loser who's obviously a big virgin. I mean, what would you expect from a guy who hasn't held a girl's hand since he was 5? plus he doesn't even come out of his apartment! the most experience he has is from the pornography he used to watch. don't worry! he doesn't watch it anymore! because now all he has to do is imagine you sucking him off and he cums instantly. he's a true loser. but he's your loser, yours! :D

✎ yandere! loser who stalks you both online and physically. at this point he knows more about you than all of your friends do, maybe even you yourself! he's also the type of guy to like something you posted 69 weeks ago just because he liked how you looked in it. but does one post from long ago matter when he literally spam likes everything you post?

✎ yandere! loser who tries to rizz you up with tips and tricks he read online from sites like Reddit. he read all those success stories in the Reddit comment section so surely it must work out for him too, right?! wrong. because when he tried to pin you against a wall and call you 'baby', you only snorted in laughter, calling him funny and walking off with your friends. why didn't it work?! it was from user @/masterrizzler3000 on Reddit so it should've worked! he's sad now :(

✎ yandere! loser who isn't actually that bad looking. if he put in some more effort into his appearance he would've been a solid 10/10 in your opinion. but unfortunately he doesn't and that brings him to a 6.5/10. don't worry, there's something about his loser self that makes him cuter :) and that's when you decided to give him a chance and go out with him. best worst mistake of your life.

✎ yandere! loser who's actually a pretty good gaslighter and manipulator, so good that you actually agreed to date him. though he isn't aware that he's actually manipulating you so to him, you're falling for him because you genuinely love him. looks like religiously watching monster and death note worked for him. and that kids, is the story of how I (21m) landed myself a solid 100/10 with my loser self!!! -him, probably.

✎ yandere! loser who believes wholeheartedly that you and him are meant to be. sure, you may be a little more lifeless than you used to be, he's not sure why, but you love him! you tell him that every morning after you wake up in his bed! the soft 'i love you's' and 'im yours' from your sweet mouth are practically proof that you love him too, right?! fret not, for he loves you too ♡

✎ "please! I'll die without you-! you... you won't let that happen, would you? haha... of course you won't. you love me after all ♡"

#tw yandere #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #male yandere #male yandere x reader #reader insert #yandere loser #yandere loser headcanons #yandere loser x reader

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inkskinned · 1 year

Text

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

#writeblr #warm up #i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books #(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild #but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning #and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go #anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct #i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers #i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once #it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because #when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that #a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN #who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends #i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!

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droserapetals · 4 months

Text

Love em’ Toxic

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x (f!)reader

Synopsis: You end the long week of classes with a night out with your best friend, needing a distraction from your busy mind. You’ve been going through a rough and traumatic break up for the last couple weeks, so the break in your schedule is much needed. As you find yourself in a new part of town, you freeze at a familiar face. From that night on you are determined to prove to your ex (and yourself) how “fine” you are without him.

PSA- This is a LONG fic. I’m a whore for plot. You have been warned!

Content: MDNI, DUBCON, fingering, sub!reader, really rough sex, cervix fucking, mentions of pregnancy/impregnating reader, degradation, bondage, name calling (whore/slut), pet names (sweets/love/baby), jealousy, toxic!reader Toji and reader are in their 20’s (reader is in college)… can’t think of any others right now. Sorry if there’s errors! I’m too lazy to proof read this lol

It was a messy break up to say the least

You and Toji were together for two years, and during that time it was nothing short of an emotional roller coaster.

He would yell at you for showing too much skin when you would go out with friends, calling you a slut for attention. Not to mention any sort of male attention directed at you would result in a man wailing on the bar floor with a likely broken nose, and the both of you promptly kicked out of the bar by the owner. Come to think of it, you aren’t sure if there are any bars left that you are not banned from, on behalf of your hot headed ex.

And you would always find girls in his dms, thirsting after him and him letting it happen. When you would bring it up to him, he would dismiss your concerns saying it wasn’t a big deal, but you knew he was the kind of guy that loved the attention of other women, and deemed it okay because he wasn’t actually seeking these women out, therefore it wasn’t wrong in his eyes. Hypocritical if you say so yourself.

You felt yourself going crazy. You feel like you gave him so many chances, so many days where you were patient with him, only for another red flag to spring up, waving directly in your face preventing you from ignoring it.

However, the raw physical attraction between you two was so intense, it kept you reeling into him for more, creating this toxic cycle.

After many nights of crying yourself to sleep, of doubting yourself, you had enough and decided to rip off the band aid, breaking up with him for good.

You can imagine how well that went. It ended with him shouting out your front door that you’ll never find anyone like him and that you are over exaggerating the severity of your guy’s problems. You held firm though and slammed the door in his face, proceeding to block him on every form of social media.

You felt heartbroken, but mostly hopeful after that day. Excited to see what the future will bring for you after this closed chapter in your life.

So why can’t you stop thinking about him?

It’s the worst in the middle of the night, when your tossing and turning trying to feel the warm embrace of sleep take hold of you, when you hear his voice.

“That’s it baby. Say my name louder, I wanna hear it fall from those pretty lips of yours again.”

He’s dragging two of his fingers lazily in and out of you, curling in scissoring in the spots he know will have you mewling in pleasure.

“Yes-haah, Toji. That feels s-so good!” You moan out, bucking your hips into his thick fingers.

He smirks down at you and leans in to lick a stripe up your neck, sucking at the spot in between your jaw and throat, causing you to shiver uncontrollably. Your hands find the back of his head, tugging at the soft strands of hair there.

“Do you like when I have control over you like this? You don’t have to answer that, she’s doing the talking for you.”

He nods down to you pussy, squelching with each thrust of his hand, making the most sinful noises echo off the walls.

Your face flushes at his words, but you feel too good to care. Mind clouded with lust. Instead, you fling your head back into your pillows and let the pleasure consume you whole.

His pace quickens at that, moving at a speed that is making you see stars. Your eyes roll into the back of your head.

Right as you feel your orgasm approaching, you meet the thrusts of his hand quicker. Moaning louder in confirmation.

“You gonna come f’me dirty girl? Make a mess all over my fingers?” He pants out, eyes glazed over at the sight of your beautiful form riding his hand so well.

You furrow your brows and nod frantically, feeling the impending release approaching you at full force.

“Good girl, you just need to do one thing for me.” He whispers in your ear. The low growl in his voice making you whimper.

“I need you to wake up, love.”

You pause for a second and look up at him, confusion etched in your fingers.

“Wha-…”

“WAKE UP Y/N” someone is shaking you, causing your eyes to snap open and sit up from your bed, head spinning from the quick movements. You feel them back away as your vision begins to focus, adjusting to the person in your room.

“You were out like a light, I thought I was going to have to send a marching band in here to wake you up!” Your friend let’s out an obnoxious cackle at that, seeming to note that idea for another day with a hand on their chin.

Shooting dagger her way, you roll your eyes and clear your throat, hoping your face wasn’t too flushed from your quite interesting dream you were having a second ago. After your breakup with Toji you decided to move in with one of your close friends from college. It was perfect actually. She was looking for someone to fill the extra room in her flat, and you were more than eager to fulfill that role. You push yourself on the palms of your hands until the back of you hits your headboard, running your hands through your hair.

“What do you need, Nobara?” You grumble, voice still laced with sleep.

“Well, I didn’t want you to sleep the whole weekend away…” she crosses her arms while arching a brow at you, “and I thought we could maybe do some shopping together for a little… excursion later this evening.” She smirks, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

You’ve taken your breakup overall pretty well, but your friend knows you and how much of a hold Toji had on you, so she’s been a little more attentive than usual with you. Walking with you to your guy’s classes together, having movie nights every Thursday, and even running errands together. She really was a one and a million friend, and you were grateful to have her in your life.

“What did you have in mind?” You fold your arms over your chest, curious but not surprised with her ongoing antics.

“I say we walk around some shops at the outlets for a bit, grab coffee so I can say hi to that tasty barista that is always working there at this time,” you raise an eyebrow at that, but let her continue, “THEN, we can go to that new club that everyone on campus has been talking about tonight!” She’s jumping up and down at that, giddy being an understatement of her actions.

You ponder the idea. you haven’t been out at a club since well before your break up, the thought not even crossing your mind till now.

You friend waits for you to answer, almost vibrating the floor with her excitement.

You can’t help but to giggle at your goofy friend. You get up at that, and start to rummage through your dresser drawer.

“Well let me brush my teeth and get changed first,” you grumble.

You worry that your neighbors might’ve called animal control from how loud Nobara squealed at your answer.

————————————————————————

After an oat milk latte and long shopping spree later, you are in your bathroom touching up your makeup and adjusting your newly purchased outfit in the mirror, getting ready for your girls night out.

Once you finish up you makeup just the way you like it, you give yourself a quick final once over, taking in your look.

Your hair was done in a half up half down look, some strands of hair let out to frame your face. The dress itself, was stunning. It was a deep fig color that shimmered in the right lighting, complimenting your complexion perfectly. Under that were some sheer black tights, and a pair of black kitten heels to tie it all together.

You looked sultry, classy, and sexy all in one.

You would’ve never chose this outfit for yourself if Nobara hadn’t been there hyping you up in the dressing room saying, “this dress fits you in all the right places” and “you better get this if you know what’s good for you”. You chuckle at the flashback. Making a mental note to thank her later. Because looking at yourself now, you can’t even lie. You look tasty as fuck.

————————————————————————

It’s 10p.m. now as you and Nobara exit your Uber to find yourselves in the heart of the city's nightlife, a couple buildings over, a sultry club beckons with its alluring aura.

You have heard of this club from others before, but have never been because of its high status and reputation, and deemed it an unobtainable feat to accomplish securing a reservation this high of caliber.

You both start walking to the front of the long line of the club, it’s entrance bathed in soft red neon lights. You can already hear the pulsating beat of music reverberating through the air, and into your chest. As you both make your way to the front towards the bouncer standing guard at the door, heels clacking on the concrete, you can’t help but notice in your periphery the many annoyed faces and grumbles of frustration from the people waiting in line for who knows how long.

“What are we doing, shouldn’t we get in line-“ you hiss in Nobaras ear as she drags you by you arm to the entrance, having a look of unbridled determination on her features.

“Fuck that, we’re young and hot, let’s use that to our advantage for once.” She smirks over her shoulder at you, causing you to roll your eyes with a hint of a smirk on your features.

Once you make it to the bouncer, you friend does the talking, giving her best clueless expression at the man in front of you two.

“Sorry to bother you, handsome. Our friend is waiting for us inside ordering drinks right now. They said it wouldn’t be a problem if we just met em inside…” she twirls a finger around a strand of hair as she batts her eyelashes up at him, waiting for his response.

He looks at you both up and down amused, but with a tinge of hunger in his eyes, most likely covered up by false professionalism for the sake of his job. You try not to scoff or squirm under his stare as his eyes briefly land on yours for a split second. In that moment you weren’t sure if your friend’s fabricated story worked or not. It was a clumsy one at that. You bite your lip in anticipation.

Not a moment later he gives you both a kurt nod and lifts up the rope, allowing you two to pass through into the main entrance. After getting out of view, you can’t help but to gawk at your friend at the fact that her plan actually worked. She looks back at you with slight surprise gleaming in her eyes as well, but that quickly became replaced with a wide grin on her features as you both make your way to the bar, arms linked together.

“I’m not even sure he believed that,” you laugh as you both sit down on a couple stools, quickly giving your drink orders to the bartender who skillfully begins to make quick work on both of your drinks.

That is when you finally glance around the room.

The air is thick with the faint smell of smoke, and a musk of cologne and perfume as bodies sway and grind to the seductive rhythm of the music, creating a hypnotic dance that mirrors the pulsating beats. Soft, dim lighting casts a sensuous glow, revealing the contours of flushed faces and glistening skin. The dance floor becomes an intimate space where desire and movement entwine, and the bar, adorned with mirrored accents, reflects the seductive energy that permeates the atmosphere. It's a scene drenched in allure, where the music becomes a shared heartbeat, and every glance exchanged carries the promise of untold stories.

You, with a lack of experience in this type of scenery, find yourself oddly at home with this crowd of people. Fitting in like an unknowingly lost puzzle piece. Your lips tug up in a small smile at that.

At that moment the song changes and you are met with one of your favorite songs gracing your eardrums. You and Nobara both make eye contact at the same time, squealing, grabbing each others hand and using you other to snatch your drinks of the counter, and make your way onto the dance floor.

Little do you know, leaning against a particularly dark wall of the building, a pair of predatory green eyes settle on your periphery, gleaming in the dim lighting.

You find yourself getting lost in the music, caressing your body up and down swaying to the rhythm. You were already starting to feel buzzed from your drink, now empty, discarded on an unoccupied table. You have always been a lightweight, but you are also pretty sure that the drinks here were extra strong, adding to your growing confidence.

Before you know it Nobara is being whisked away from you by a good looking man, not before she gives you a look that clearly asks if this is okay. You smirk and wave her off, wanting her to have as much fun tonight as possible.

As you turn back around scanning the area, you freeze a little in place. Over in one of the private seating areas you make eye contact with a familiar face.

There Toji is, legs spread cockily in the booth he resided in, arms resting on the top ledge of the seats as he leers over at you with a smirk playing on his features.

He’s not alone though. Two women in scantily clad attire are on either side of him, rubbing his chest and giggling at something he said. Clearly intoxicated themselves.

You surprisingly don’t feel as distraught as you may have guessed at the sight. Mostly just smoldering anger and disgust.

You then look away, but not before you see his eyes flicker into an expression you don’t recognize as you make your way into the dance floor once again. You scan your surroundings and find a man sitting by himself, already noticing you early in the night when you entered the place. You can tell by the way the man squirms in his chair that he is enamored by you. You let a slight smirk play on your lips as you walk up to him, hips swaying as you do so.

He noticeably gulps and tugs at his collar as you lean over him. Hands resting on either of his armrests caging him in. God you were buzzed.

Toji is seething in rage at the sight before him. Your breath ghosts against the stranger’s ear as you whisper something way out of his earshot. The man fidgets in his seat and nods, causing you to let out a wide grin as he gets up and walks with you back onto the dance floor.

Another one of your favorite songs starts playing, causing you to press up against the man’s back, grinding softly against him to the beat in perfect rhythm.

The man (you quickly find out is named Yuuji) slides his hands down your body, gaining courage himself, grabbing your waist with one and the other ghosting over your rib cage.

You softly keen into his touch as one of your hands reaches up to fist into his hair, bringing his head down to nibble on your neck.

Your eyes glaze over as you stare at Toji, mouth parted open in bliss that quickly turns into a smirk as you see him lean forward, causing the girls by him to jump, as he stares back at you. Gripping the table in front of him enough to snap it in half.

Fueling you further, you break the eye contact to turn around, facing Yuuji now. The movement giving him better access to your neck as his hands travel down to rest on the small of your back, dragging slow circles with his thumbs around the flesh.

You whimper in his ear causing him to groan in reply.

“You are… unreal,” he breathes into your neck. Causing a faint blush to form on your cheeks as he worships your body on the dance floor.

You notice his eagerness escalating when you feel something poke into your lower belly, causing you to snap back to reality slightly. You weren’t ready to hook up with someone else, even though Yuuji seemed like a sweet guy. You still need time to get over your ex (that is currently sitting in a void of darkness while watching your every movement) so you kindly excuse yourself to the bathroom, giving him a polite and shy smile, scurrying away, leaving him with an uncomfortable hard on on the dance floor.

You eventually find the restrooms, opening the door and quickly shutting it behind you as your back rests against the door with a huff. With a quick scan of your surroundings you realize the bathroom is empty, thank god.

What am I doing? You ask yourself, making your way to the sink and staring at your features, casted in a red glow from the light overhead. You don’t know what has came over you. You swear Toji brings out the literal worst in you. No wonder why you two are split up. Your fists clench around the counter, glaring in your reflection as you think back to the scene you saw outside just a second ago.

He was always shaming you for being a slut while you were together and not even two weeks after your separation, you catch him here with two bimbos fawning over him and copping a feel? You scoff and shake your head, reaching into your purse to re apply more of your lip gloss, leaning forward a little to get a better look.

Too focused on the task at hand, you don’t notice someone entering the bathroom until you hear the music getting louder for a moment before the door closes, muffling the sound again.

What does peak your interest is the sound of metal sliding then clicking, indicating someone has locked it.

You pause what you’re doing and look past your reflection at the pair of eyes that have narrowed in on your plump lips, then slowly dragging back over to your face. Realizing who it was, you gasp faintly and stand up straighter, tugging your dress down subconsciously.

“The fuck was that?” Toji growls as he inches closer to you, causing you to tremble slightly in fear.

You reign your emotions in check, and scoff at him, not even bothering to look back at him as you apply your shimmery gloss.

“I don’t know what you mean, I’m just enjoying my night out.” you state matter of factly.

“You think you can just parade around like a common whore in that tight dress of yours and feel up whoever you want now that we’re not together?” He is seething now. Seeming to visualize earlier’s endeavors quite clearly still.

“I’m wearing a lot more than those tramps you had dangling off your shoulders a second ago.” You state coldly. “I see you’re still on your high horse thinking you’re better than everyone else.”

His mouth curls up in a silent snarl as he closes the distance between you two, his hard chest pressing into your back as your hips bite into the counter. You wince slightly at the contact.

“You keep your dirty mouth shut if you know what’s good for you,” he hisses. Leaning down so his hot breath is fanning against the shell of your ear.

“You are mine. No matter what. You can be delusional and convince yourself that we are not right for each other, but I find myself to be quite convincing.”

You shudder as you feel his hand graze up your inner thigh, stopping just before brushing against your clothed cunt.

“Hm. Already wet for me huh? And I barely even touched you,” he smiles harshly at your flushed expression in the mirror, his other hand gripping your hip in a vice. Stilling your movements. You know you couldn’t get away if you even tried.

“That is from the guy on the dance floor earlier-” you gasp.

Quicker than anything you’ve seen before, Toji’s giant hand is around your throat, his body pushing you over the counter as his other hand rips your tights and underwear off in one swift motion and then plunges two fingers into you without warning.

You bite your lip but a squeak escapes your mouth as you start to feel light headed. Partly from the stinging pleasure of your walls being stretched so suddenly and partly from his bruising grip on your jugular.

Toji notices and loosens his grip slightly.

“Nuh-uh. Don’t want you passing out on me. I want you to be awake and aware for what I’m about to do to you.” He chuckles darkly as he thrusts his fingers in and out of you teasingly, pausing every now and then to curl or make a scissoring motion.

Right when the pain molds into heated pleasure, he withdraws his fingers from you, bringing his fingers up to inspect, glistening with your juices.

You wiggle in his grip as he brings his fingers to your mouth.

“Suck,” he orders.

You turn you head to the side but his hand around you neck moves to your jaw to turn it back towards him, forcing your mouth to open and plunging his fingers inside.

“Lick them clean for me, slut. And if you even think of biting I will go a lot less easy on you.” He warns, eyes daring you to even try.

You slowly drag your tongue over his digits and suck on his fingers as you taste yourself, glaring at him through hooded eyes.

“Good girl,” he muses. A feline like grin spreading over his features. He then uses that hand to reach down between you two, and you hear the sound of his belt buckle loosening and his zipper opening up.

“N-no,” you whimper. Trying to gasp out the word over your constricted airways. Even though the thought of him barreling into you right now made you weak just thinking about it, you knew that if you two fucked, you would be roped in to his toxic cycle once again. And you were doing so good, you didn’t want that.

“What’s that sweetness? Can’t hear ya.” He chuckles darkly. Dragging his leaking tip over your drenched folds.

Your thighs quiver at the sensation. Eyes locking with his as he slams himself into you without warning.

You let out a high pitched scream that he quickly silences by wrapping his belt around your mouth, securing it around your head.

You had no choice but to bite into the leather and roll your eyes into the back of your head as he slams into you at a brutal pace. Only able to hear your muffled wails and the sound of skin slapping echoing off the bathroom walls.

“Shit, she feels tighter than before. Need to get this pussy molded to my cock again,” He grunts, putting you in a firm headlock as he holds the strap of his belt around your head, causing you to drool around the leather.

His eyes flicker to yours as his gaze deepens in rage. “You nasty bitch. Trying to make me jealous by feeling up the first guy you saw out there? Well look where that got you now.” He growls in your ear, biting your earlobe.

You could barely hold yourself up, your hands gripping his biceps and digging into the flesh there. He groans at the sensation.

He doesn’t let up. The stinging pain almost fueling him further as his length slams into your walls, nudging your cervix with every stroke.

You start to feel you orgasm barreling at you with full force, your walls starting to clench around his cock causing him to thrust into you shallower, hitting that spot inside you that has you seeing stars.

“Cumming already sweets? How cute. Missed daddy’s cock that much huh?” He leans back to get a better view of your ass, fully exposed from your dress riding up at his menstruations. The hand that is behind your head, fisting the leather belt pushes you down so that your face is smushed onto the counter, smearing your tears and makeup on the surface along with it.

His other hand palms your ass, then gives it a harsh smack, causing you to let out a long moan as your orgasm crashes down on you, sending waves of pleasure over your body.

He uses the belt to yank you up so that he could watch you come undone. Chest pressed against your back as he slides your dress down your torso, exposing your bouncing tits to him in the reflection of the mirror. He slows down his movements slightly to take you in better.

Your tears and drool made a mess of your makeup. Mascara was running down your cheeks as a light sheen of sweat covered your whole body from the exhaustion.

“What a pretty thing. None of these girls compare to you, you know. Not in the slightest.” His hand grazes your cheek almost lovingly, causing your to whimper at the contact. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

His pace quickens once again and you feel his cock throbbing at his impending release. Your eyes widen as you realize that he has no intentions of pulling out of you.

“Gonna fill this pretty pussy up with my cum, yeah? Gon’ put a kid in you so you never leave me again,” he’s babbling to himself. Completely loosing his mind in pleasure. His thrusts become sloppy indicating how close he is. Then he gives out a final sharp thrust as he stills inside you, sheathing himself as deep as he can go, throwing his head back with a groan as his warm seed spills inside of you.

It doesn’t seem to end. You feel your stomach swell slightly as he fills you up, leaning down as he lazily drags his tongue over the length of your neck, the salty sweat coating his tastebuds.

Eventually he pulls out of you with a pop, and drops to his knees, inspecting the damage. Some of his cum begins to trickle out of your quivering hole, but he’s quick to scoop it up with his pointer and middle finger to sheathe it back inside you, not letting any of it go to waste.

You are still panting, cheek resting on the cool counter as he removes the belt from your mouth and tugs his slacks back on, buttoning them up.

“Don’t think you can get rid of me that easily,” he says with a sneer. “I’ll be seeing you very soon.”

At that he unlocks the door and slips out without a word, leaving you in a mess of fluids and sweat. Legs quivering slightly as they try to hold you up.

#jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #tw: dubcon #jjk x reader #smut #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji smut #jjk x you #rough kink

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