#protect our communities

[pseudophan]

nobody knows their audience better than dan and phil

[chick-it-out]

[lunar-years]

If you only listen to Trump you’d think we live in a truly apocalyptic hellscape where people are eating their neighbors’ pets and executing babies upon birth and we must always look for and expect the worst from our communities. yet he doesn’t blink an eye at the women suffering as they travel across state lines seeking an abortion or as schoolchildren are actually executed by their peers in classrooms or as a mob of his making storms the Capitol building. Okay.

[yourlocalguardian]

Yknow I know lot of people think the young therians mainly on tiktok who make masks and do a lot of quadrobics and wear their gear in public are cringe but like. As a bit older kinnie I remember how strong my instincts were when I was that age, how often and how strongly I had mental shifts, and the mental torture I went through my whole young life before I found out that there were other people like me because I felt like I was some sort of freak and didnt understand why I couldn’t just stop feeling the ways I did

Even if you think it’s cringe I know if I had had that community and that ability to engage with my creature-self at that age I would have felt so much better in myself, I wouldn’t have had the deep set self hatred I did for many years, and I think that’s extremely important. It’s extremely important that we don’t let the young members of our community experience that same pain that I and I’m sure others like me have felt

Also friendly reminder too that cringe culture is fucking stupid, if you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else you shouldn’t be shunned for doing what makes you happy. And that means you, person reading this, shouldn’t be the one to make them feel like they should be ashamed. If you feel like it’s cringe keep that to yourself and maybe do some self reflection on why you would think people doing a harmless activity that makes them happy would somehow be wrong. Cringing is a reflex, but that doesn’t mean you have to act upon it.

Additionally if you’re one of those people that’s against them because “they’re making us look bad”/“people won’t take us seriously because of them”. If people won’t accept us in the full extent of who we are then they would never be accepting of us in the first place. Acception when only in a watered down form is not true acception at all. 

[aengelren]

And I eat it up every single time.

[thepoisonroom]

hate when i see a post about lesbianism and i search 'trans' and 'gender' on op's blog and there's no results which could mean nothing. but could also mean what i think it means.

[morningstar-chronicles]

can't believe there's another one. y'all go report @/niadiedlastweek please. it was bad enough that there was one blog, but frankly this not only embarrassing for whoever's trying to stir the pot, but imo a safety concern to not only nia, but to whoever else this dumbass decides to harass next.

@ellis-realityshifting @eddieisashifter @eneablack @romanoffshifting @realitycanbewhateveridesire @themanirealityshifter @urrockstar-xe @urbansloan @indythefandomhoarder @olivesrealities @piss-pumpkin @aftergclw @anemoiashifts @annavatar @shiftingwithleah @sc0rpi0skies @stargazineyes @shiftingwithmars @faeriemarie @stickeykeys @gaiaexploreslife @herashifts @zipperrants @xandershifts @vivian-shiftss @maebyshifting @theshifterbride

[violetsareblue-selfships]

imagine falling asleep on your f/o for the first time (or them falling asleep in your arms for the first time!) it takes a lot of trust to fall asleep on someone else, so it’s really a special moment. are they the type to grin in response and pull you closer? do they get flustered by it? do they pretend they’re unaffected but inside they’re overjoyed? are they unable to process the show of trust? (maybe because they don’t think they deserve the trust or being they’re a villain and not used to it??)

[liminalweirdo]

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

do you think surgical masks are even worth bothering with as covid/general contagious sickness protection, or is wearing a surgical mask and wearing no mask basically the same?

[shr0mwzrd]

I'm convinced by the way y'all are acting about it that these alleged AFAB transfems don't exist outside your brains - like all y'all are just vaguing and pearl clutching without mentioning or linking to a single instance of this alleged atrocity. Even if they did exist, just block them and be normal for fucks sake. I'm so fucking tired of seeing these same bullshit takes over and over, especially from nominally leftist queers...do better

[furiousgoldfish]

I wasn't going to write personal posts on this topic, but this one is for all of the people who insist we are not allowed to call out narcissists for their actions, we are not allowed to call it 'narcissistic abuse', and what we're doing by saying that, is in fact, stigmatizing and marginalizing a group of people with a disorder.

I understand all of you want to be kind, and not accuse someone of being abusive, if they're presumed to be struggling with a disorder. Being accused yourself, that you're creating stigma if you do it, can feel uncomfortable and wrong. And to accuse those who are struggling the worst, of stigmatizing if they speak up about abuse, can be devastating.

Stigma, however, is not created in small, isolated communities of people who have no public voice, it's not created in the space where people go when they have nowhere else to turn to. The public does not listen to victims, they listen to the framing that makes it the easiest to ignore abuse. Which is, coincidentally, the abuser's narrative.

Hearing that narcissists are to be protected and that to say otherwise is evil, can easily take vigor if the most loud, aggressive and forceful people are yelling it, in a community of mostly scared, vulnerable individuals. So you relent and decide, it's simply kind to just defend whoever has a disorder, no matter what it is, no matter the consequences. You find it easier to not do research, to not look at reality, but pick whatever is the most convenient. If people yelling the loudest are saying 'narcissistic abuse doesn't exist! you're hurting people by saying it does!' then it's the easiest to repeat it and accept that it's right.

So now let's scale back a bit, and look at what is going on specifically in the community of abused and traumatized people on tumblr. You have a group of people who are claiming that the narcissists abused them, who can recount horrific, devastating, destructive, traumatic and severely damaging experiences of abuse by narcissistic parents or partners. People who have developed dissociative disorders, complex trauma, chronic conditions and a whole ordeal of mental disorders due to the extensive, long lasting abuse. Most of these people were children, when exposed to the narcissists. Most of these people have loved those narcissists with all of their hearts. For the most of them, it took half of their lifetime to realize abuse was going on, and that their symptoms were not imagined or without a cause. These people have been tortured, and are looking for a safe space.

You also have children here who are currently being abused, who are telling horror stories of their current reality where they're used, exploited, controlled, violated, their identity and humanity erased, who exist only as a resource to the narcissists. They're looking for a way to recognize what is happening to them, why are they feeling this awful, and how to get out.

And of course, you have people in this community who have been abused in other kinds of circumstances and by other kinds of abusers, and we're all trying to figure out what the truth is, who to blame, how to get out of abuse, how to gain freedom, how to stay safe. So it's a community of heavily traumatized individuals, most of them very vulnerable to future abuse, a lot of them children, a lot of them abused and sensitive to other kinds of grooming and abuse.

Narcissists are infiltrating this specific community and demanding to be promoted as safe and non-dangerous, to these specific people. They're not trying to appeal to general public, to psychologically healthy, to people who have resources and community to protect themselves from abuse, no, they're aiming at this specific, already-abused, already groomed, vulnerable, struggling, traumatized community of people, and threatening to smear-campaign, cancel, expel and banish anyone who doesn't accept to view them as harmless.

Why would they do this? Which safe and harmless person would put themselves in a group of traumatized and vulnerable people to bully and threaten them for the sake of 'public image' and 'erasing the stigma'? Tell me what is humane about this. Tell me what is humane about asking a victim of narcissistic abuse to be narcissist-positive on their trauma-related blog. Tell me what is normal about telling a victim of torture to say positive thing about their torturer, or to be expelled from their community as a punishment.

You are extending our torture. You are now the extension of our trauma.

And when you're out here saying 'not all narcissists', tell me how do you know which ones then? Do you know that if you're saying this to a child, they might then happily accept a narcissist in their life, who then might end up torturing the kid? You don't know which ones are dangerous, and neither do they. Are you okay with that? Can you feel peace in your heart knowing you helped this to happen? Can you look at yourself knowing you went and claimed, to a vulnerable, or already-traumatized child or a vulnerable person, to accept this potentially dangerous individual in their life, who then hurt them? Will you tell them it's their own fault and to 'stop claiming narcissists are abusive' if they confide it to you?

You're not even thinking of what will happen to those kids. I was left with narcissists alone. I was locked up in a basement. I was beaten. I was forced to play games where I would end up inevitably tortured and told it was my fault for 'losing'. I was brainwashed into believing that I'm not a human being. I was denied food if I didn't do as I was told. I was brutalized and almost murdered. I was told I would be dead if I tried to escape. I will never recover.

And I'm not even one of the worst cases. Children have been thru worse. Children are going thru it right now.

If you feel safe recommending to children and the vulnerable, to go and accept narcissists in their life, this is what you're risking. This is what some of them are capable of. You don't know which ones. Are you really going to use children and most vulnerable people in society, to test and see if the narcissists would torture them or not? You're really going to tell them to go and associate themselves with a group that has a high count of predators, just so that the predators in the groups wouldn't be upset or feel excluded? Just so you'd feel safe from being told off by them? So you wouldn't have to deal with them?

If you can put kids at risk and feel like you've done nothing wrong, then I don't care what else you have to say. You can no longer pretend not to know. You can't pretend that defending narcissists is a kind gesture. You can't pretend to be 'inclusive' when you barge into a community of victims and tell them to shut up about the abuse they worked so hard to recognize. You can't pretend you're faultless when you insist that the most vulnerable people in the population should be accepting and positive about the most dangerous group to them, so you'd have it easier, so you wouldn't have to even look at what narcissists have already done to us.

We're not your shield. We're not here to be scapegoats for your cowardice. We're not sacrificing children because it's so easy and convenient to bow down to bullies. It's been enough of this. Respect our boundaries. We don't want narcissists to have access to us.

[possessed-pack]

Love to all of the tulpa systems or systems with tulpas regardless of their origin. No matter your system origin, you having a tulpa--even if it's just one or if there's many--does not discredit your system. It does not make you fake. Systems of any origin can have tulpas, systems that are disordered or have DID/OSDD/other dissociative disorders can have tulpas--and it does not make you fake. Your origin shouldn't dictate your validity--if you experience it, it's valid and real.

[qsmprambling]

Imagine Egg A1 still has one life left, and it somehow manages to escape the facility... It is being followed by mobs, by Federation employees, being hurt by the poison ivy and other environmental threats, but it keeps running, because what other choice is there? That parkour course was a trick after all, the last block was a fake, it was never meant to pass that test in the first place.

So it keeps running, but the Federation workers are getting closer. It won't be able to avoid them forever...

But then it bursts through some bushes and comes face to face with someone new - and it's Bad, out building or exploring or just wandering alone. A1 is immediately afraid, of course. It is a stranger, a very visually striking stranger, the complete opposite of the pure white and featureless employees of the Federation. But there are people close behind, and it knows what will happen to it if it is caught, so... It has no choice but to try. It has no way to communicate, no signs or books, so it simply rushes to hide behind him and hopes he understands, and that he is willing to help...

And Bad, for his part, well.. he's an extremely cautious and paranoid person, and this is just an incredibly confusing and unexpected situation to be in. An unknown egg appeared out of nowhere and is hiding behind him, he can see Federation employees in the distance that are clearly looking for something... He knows that the code has been disguising itself as eggs, and that the strange egg in front of him with no marks, no distinguishing features, an egg that he has never seen before, could easily be the code monster preparing to attack at any moment...

But there is absolutely no way Bad could ever look at an egg in distress and not try to help it, even knowing it could be a trap.

So he quickly digs a shallow hole and pushes the mysterious egg into it, covering it up just in time, and when the employees throw him a book asking if he had seen anything, he lies effortlessly, he complains about nonsense, he asks them where the Ekea is and is as annoying as he can be, until they leave.

And now they're alone... just Bad an this mystery egg in the middle of the woods, A1 too afraid to leave the hole even when Bad tries to coax it out. He gives it food and tries his best to comfort it, to tell it everything is okay and that the pursuers are gone. He gives it some signs and a book, trying to see if it will write anything to him or answer any of his questions, but he gets no reply. A1 is just too afraid to even attempt to answer, and Bad doesn't even know if it understands him. He tries what few words he does know of the other languages, and still no response.

What should he do? As much as the image of a tiny, terrified egg makes him want to do all he can for it he also needs to be safe. He can't bring it home, because if it is a code there is no way he is bringing it anywhere near Dapper. Should he call someone else for help, or would that draw too much attention? Would it even be safe for him or the egg to let anyone know right now? And was this egg dangerous, or harmless and in need of protection? He wouldn't abandon it regardless but...

What now?

[childrensrightsrehumanrights]

If you're in a fandom of children's show, please note that you're in a children's space.

This show was designed for them and the fans are mostly their age. They're not invading your spaces, you've entered theirs. So try to keep your fanfics age appropriate and if you really can't do that keep it in a space for adults only.

And listen to children's voices, if they don't like how you're portraying children or their shows take that into account. It's always important to listen to an oppressed group about their representation and culture.

For example there's an actual problem where bronies have kind of ruined people's childhoods and exposed children to things they were not ready to see yet through their fanfics and art. Especially if the characters are children and like kids are seeing the characters they relate too, idk, fighting zombies to the death or something.

Taking a children's space and dumping 18+ content into it is not cool, they hardly have anything anyway. So just mind the boundaries, be respectful and enjoy your favorite shows.

[our-trans-youth-experience]

Thank you!

thanks all my brilliant trans youth for all the support you have shown to this blog, and for helping me build an amazing community in this digital safe space. There are now just over 300 of you following my rambling replies and clumsily-worded advice and I couldn't be more thankful.

If any of you have advice for how I could improve @our-trans-youth-experience please feel free to let me know!

I have been blessed with the opportunity to create this community and I can't wait to see how it grows from here <3