#psychological and physical i'd guess

[macgyvermedical]

I encountered a drug called "Dextromethorphan" when looking up things that react with grapefruits for a fic. I found out it's been banned in Sweden since the 90s, so I couldn't use it for this specific story, but if you've got any interesting history I'd be happy so know!

Are you ready for this? Like. Ask yourself. Are you really ready for this?

In 1954, a researcher with the US Public Health Service received $282,215 (1954 dollars) from the US Navy, ostensibly to find a non-addictive alternative to an opiate drug called codeine (used for pain and and as a cough suppressant).

So the researcher found a bunch of people who had substance abuse disorder and tested 800 substances on them, trying to find ones that couldn't cause physical or psychological dependence, even on people who were prone to that sort of thing.

(Now, you might be asking if this experiment was ethical. The USPHS was concurrently doing the infamous Tuskegee Syphilis Study, so while I couldn't find any concrete answer, imma guess no.)

Out of these 800 tested substances, we use 3 today: propoxyphene (used as a painkiller), diphenoxylate (used as a diarrhea medication), and dextromethophan (a cough suppressant (and, as of 2022, part of a fast-acting antidepressant)).

Importantly, it was later noted that all of these are addictive substances and today most of them require a prescription. Though depending on where you are in the world, you might just have to be over 21 and show an ID.

You might think this sounds like a pretty standard story.

You would be wrong.

Because while the US Navy was the one handing the money to the USPHS, the US Navy had come by it via the Central Intelligence Agency.

Yes. The good ol' CIA.

So what stake did the CIA have in a non-addictive codeine replacement? Nothing, it turns out. That's just what they'd told the US Navy. What they really wanted was an incapacitant- a drug that causes incapacitation like unconsciousness or continuous hallucinations- without killing. Incapacitants are also useful for discrediting prominent political figures by making them look like they have severe mental health concerns, which was another reason the CIA wanted them.

This was part of a project called MKPILOT.

And wouldn't you like to know which of the three listed above they liked the most? Dextromethorphan. Because at high doses it causes severe- and incapacitating- hallucinations (this is also why it is banned in Sweden).

The problem with it is that it requires really, really high doses (about 3 grams, which would have to be packaged in some other substrate)- this would make it difficult to slip into a drink or food.

(It should be noted that around the same time, the US Army was doing research into a much more usable incapacitant called 3-Quinuclidinyl Benzilate which required as little as 150mg of the substance to be useful- it was featured in a MacGyver episode and I did a nice little review of it here. While I have no sources that say the CIA was directly involved in funding this, based on their extensive funding of similar DoD projects at the time, they probably did.)

But you wanted to know about how grapefruit interacts with dextromethorphan:

A substance in grapefruit (along with seville oranges, limes, pomelos, and possibly pomegranates) blocks the pathway by which many drugs are metabolized in the liver. This causes the levels of drug in the body to be much higher than expected. In the case of dextromethorphan in particular, it can mean that the drug stays in the body a lot longer- up to 24 hours instead of the usual 3-4 hours. It can also make side effects and toxic effects significantly worse, leading to hallucinations and sedation, even at low doses normally used for coughing.

[fizzie-frog]

Look I've never been much of a shipper but Fizzarolli with Asmodeus really demolishes me I swear to God. Just the way they know each other inside and out (which, obviously, they've known each other for possibly a decade). The way Fizzarolli sleeps without his cute little jester hat on, the way he, in general, trusts Ozzie with his body and his being and just-- Agh.

And the little things too like how he finds comfort in things from Ozzie and helps him calm down (as showed above). The way Fizz can just be bare, scars out front and broken horns and know that Ozzie will continue to think he's the best fucking thing ever. How Ozzie is always so supporting and finds just the right words and brings him up when he is down.

Also I know it tends to be shadowed cause it's not discussed much, but let's remember that Fizzarolli is disabled. And I'd assume he has more issues than just being an amputee (I love fics that approach that subject but I understand why there's not many as you can go wrong with this so easily).

He was in the god damn middle of an explosion as it happened and he survived something that by all means would've killed him, by some miracle (side note: omg just the thought of him being conscious even long enough to see Blitz while burning alive, I don't doubt he'd have preferred to just black out right away). I highly doubt such a thing wouldn't give him some other sorts of physical damage too. The whole speaking and hearing thing (why he probably knows sign language), the pain stuff, so many things.

Not to even go over the mental trauma and probably years of help and sleepless nights he'd have had on a psychological level. So when I say Ozzie has been through thick and thin with him, it's probably an understatement. But he loves him and aaaaghhhh I'm just so happy for Fizz that he has someone who will be by his side no matter what, to bring him up and help him out. Not many people get that, so many turn and run the moment their partner hits even the slightest hard time.

But hey, I guess this is why it's a fictional couple.

Btw, maybe I missed it but I haven't seen anyone mention this: I don't know if I'm overthinking it - I've already seen the whole pointing out of Mammon's mirror being shaped like him, specifically his mouth, but I'd like to also go into the metaphorical senses of the mirrors. With Mammon's mirror, he's looking into Mammon's mouth, like he's eating Fizz alive. But then he turns his attention to Oz's mirror, the heart shaped mirror, and looks in it to calm down. He opens the heart shaped mirror that reads "Oz". He's looking into Ozzie's heart, and Fizzarolli is reflected in his heart.

Could totally be accidental lmao but I think it's such fkin good symbolism I-- Don't even get me started.

[ivyblossom]

That thing where I feel like I'm going to have to write fanfiction again

This is a weird one. I just want to say it somewhere, so that I've said it somewhere, but I realize there's there's one person who actually cares about this and she already knows, so. This is just for me, I guess.

Fifteen years ago, I wrote most of a Narnia fic. It pairs of Edmund Pevensie and Bacchus, aka Dionysus, the ancient Greek god of grapes, wine and uninhibited ecstasy. Also theatre. I know, that's a bit weird. Is Bacchus even in the Narnia stories? (Yes, he is. He even has lines!) Why on earth am I pairing him up with Edmund, who is 10 when we first meet him?

It's all the weird memory tricks, I'm a sucker for those. The Pevensies forget about England because they stay so long in Narnia and stop thinking about England, and they can (and do) forget about Narnia if they stay in England too long and don't think about Narnia enough (poor Susan), and I find that really interesting. It offers up so many nooks and crannies to stick story in. They grow up and become adults in Narnia, but are required to forget most of it in order to return to build children in England.

And come on: is Bacchus not also very obviously the god of Narnian orgies? I mean, yes. Clearly. He's also Aslan's default caterer and water-into-wine head tech. If you need buildings destroyed and bullies turned into trees and/or pigs, Bacchus is your guy. He's not big on wearing clothes, and according to Edmund, he's incredibly beautiful and extremely dangerous. Edmund is only 10 when we first meet him, sure, but he grows up, reverse ages, and then starts to grow up again. Bacchus throws them a G-rated orgy in Prince Caspian. There's love there.

Hasn't Edmund suffered enough? Yes, he got addicted to the Turkish Delight that time, but he'd been struggling and was being bullied, he was carrying a lot of self-hatred and shame, give a kid a break. He did get himself heroically killed putting it right, only to be healed physically and psychologically by Santa Claus's magic healing cordial, as one does. Doesn't Edmund deserve a cute immortal boyfriend with quirky friends and a serious green thumb who grows his own grapes, makes his own wine, can manipulate and control the desires of everyone around him like conducting an orchestra, and who will love him until the end of time? There aren't many humans in Narnia, why not hook up with the god of uninhibited ecstasy? I mean, he's right there.

Anyway. It was fifteen years ago.

I wrote 3/4ths of it, I had one part left to go to finish it, I had an idea about what how it would end, but for some reason I never wrote the ending. I don't remember why. So it's been sitting there unfinished since 2009.

And in the last few weeks I started thinking about it again. I had an idea about that ending. I couldn't remember if this idea I was toying with was my original concluding idea or not, it's been that long, but I liked the idea, and I thought, you know, I should write that idea in as the last part and finally finish that thing.

And then I read what I'd written. And a) 15 years is a long time and I have so many criticisms, I was clearly in love with the sound of my own voice (uh...nothing's changed there I guess?), b) I wrote the thing in such a way to exclude my new idea, so apparently that wasn't my original plan, but c) yeah, I should have written this thing properly the first time around. And now I have 104 more ideas and I love them all, so.

I think I have to rewrite it. Or, I suppose, just write another one and replace it? I dunno. Just playing it out now.

I think I'm going to write it. Is this an active fandom? I don't think so. I don't care. This love story needs to be told. Edmund deserves this.

[distort-opia]

It's strange how differently people from different culture react to famous characters. Even outside of batjokes shippers, I have seen a lot of DC fans of my country just straight up telling that joker loves batman and batman's obsessed with joker. Or just thinking that's he's gay, cuz like, you have a hot Blondie but you only thinking of batman? Well buddy I have something to tell ya. But it doesn't have the same reaction from people from USA, at least the one that aren't from batjokes fandom? Like, they seemed to get offended when someone point out joker obsession with batman and how it would be read this thing they two had....

How do you think people from your country read theses two? Because it was a kind of shock to me see a lot o straight man fans of DC just accepting that, welp, Joker definitely not straight and batman is... 🤨 suspicious for not killing him already. I guess its because the film with heath ledger is very famous here, and the line where he said that batman complete him stuck.

This is a really interesting question, trying to look at it from a cultural standpoint... I definitely heard of or encountered people entirely lacking knowledge of comics, readily agreeing that there's something more to Batman and Joker's relationship. As you say, just with tangential contact with Nolan's The Dark Knight or maybe the Arkham games.

However, I think that no matter where we're from, there's a distinction of three groups, with their own relevant factors, which explain their attitudes (at least to me). There's people who aren't into Batman or superheroes, but who obviously heard of them or maybe saw one movie or two. Then there's casual fans: people who like Batman and maybe watched the movies, maybe liked The Batman Animated Series, maybe played the games-- but you won't find them on Reddit or Tumblr or Tiktok as super active in fandom, just because it's not their main thing. And then there's hardcore fans, people who write and read fanfic, people who post on different platforms about Batman characters, the ones who consistently engage in fandom. But I'm putting the rest under the cut since I got long (with unnecessary psychological analysis, lol).

This is of course simply my personal opinion, based on what I've observed over time. A couple of factors might influence how these groups view Batjokes, though the first two I'm mentioning are a bit more likely to be found within non-fans and casual fans. A non-fan homophobic/conservative individual is still likely to reject actual canon of Joker professing romantic love to Batman or of Batman having to deny more than once he's in love with the guy-- although I guess you could hit them with straight Batjokes, hah (Thomas and Martha Wayne of Flashpoint). Leaving this type of person aside though (which you're more likely to find in some countries compared to others), I think non-fans usually easily agree to a romantic side of Batjokes, or at the very least to the existence of obsession. Just based on the tangential knowledge they have, it's obvious these two characters come as a pair and are defined by the other, so it doesn't take much to convince them. But within casual fans and hardcore fans... and here I'd add someone who's male, homophobic or conservative... well, we start to encounter one big thing about Batman that this kind of individual cannot get over-- projection.

For many men, Batman represents the ubermasculine ideal. He's handsome, at the peak of physical fitness, rich, has the coolest car and gadgets, has got women begging to sleep with him. He's cold and controlling and bad at social skills but still somehow beloved by all. Bruce Wayne has got terminal Main Character Syndrome, and it's undeniable a lot of fans consider him the epitome of the Alpha Male. So if you're gonna bring up that he's gay for the Joker... no matter how much proof you throw at them, they'll employ any and all mental gymnastics to shut you down or prove you wrong. That's not even getting into the guys who project on Joker, and who see Joker as this incredibly cool "agent of chaos" and strive to emulate that; trying to get them to admit Joker has been written as queer for decades (with multiple writers admitting to it) is another exercise in futility. They'll tell you Joker only said he loves Batman to scare him! He flirts with men to throw them off! It's all a tactic... because of course, being gay can only be scary to someone as masculine as Batman. It's the decades-old problem of queer-coded villains which I won't get into. But my point here is that fans who project onto either Batman or Joker specifically for how "Alpha" they are, are not likely to be open to Batjokes interpretations, no matter their nationality. But of course, just as with non-fans, there are plenty of casual or hardcore fans who are perfectly fine with shipping or potential homoerotic connotations. Hell, many times you might get them to go down Batjokes rabbit holes by letting them know about comic or game adaptations. They'll easily recognize the classical enemies-to-lovers trope this ship embodies.

But then again, both within casual and hardcore fans (though it's much more often the case of the latter) you'll have people who have no issue with shipping, who follow comics, who read fics etc. But to whom Batjokes is anathema, because they're too invested in a different way: not in the characters, but rather in showing how Good and Moral they are to other fans, and how they ship only the Good ships. It's the hordes of antis you see on Twitter and sometimes here on Tumblr too: the purity police kind of fan. "How can you ship Bruce with the monster who killed his son?" or "Joker paralyzed Barbara, how can you--" but it's entirely hypocritical and mostly rooted in the current trend of hating Joker. There's plenty of DC villains who have done similar things to Joker, or harmed the Family in similar ways to Joker, but he's the scapegoat right now for multiple reasons I talked about before (Joker fatigue and DC writing him like shit, the pushback from seeing all the alpha male dudebro fans latch onto him and hating that, etc.).

I got way too long, lol. But basically I think these generalized types of fan behavior can appear no matter the nationality, though there's undoubtedly a higher frequency of one or the other in different countries. Frankly, Romania is intensely religious and conservative, so in my country... even among my younger peers it's likely I'd encounter homophobic stances. And purity policing and that way of thinking is more likely to happen among fans from the US, like you pointed out.

[mightymizora]

Feel free to ignore but: do you feel that gortash is - I guess the word I'd use is "good" - at sex? By whatever metric you'd judge that?

Hey anon I LOVE THIS QUESTION and I can't be normal about it!

So I have to dive into it a bit into sections because there's a lot going on here for me and obviously the caveat here is this is my opinion, this is my opinion from inferences from the text, this is my opinion.

So in order to do this we need to cover a few sections: sexual education, sexual agency, sex as tool and sex as desire.

All of this is going under the cut for discussions of childhood abuse, canon inferences, decisions he makes in game, and some headcanons around agency and dub/non-con that readers may find uncomfortable.

so, let's start at the very beginning with:

Sexual Education

There are two things we know about young Enver Flymm. One is that he was raised in a small cobblers workshop where he shared a single room with his parents. The other is that at some point, he was taken to the literal hells where he suffered an incredibly physically abusive situation.

We don't know for sure the exact age he was taken, but I think it's easy to infer that he was prepubescent when he was taken from the way he is spoken about as a snot, a boy etc. by Nubaldin. Even if he was a little older, it's safe to infer that he didn't have a particularly healthy environment to learn about sex and sexuality either at home or in literal hell.

If we assume Enver was in hell, we know that the sex he would have potential been aware of was largely non-consensual. There's references all over the place about his fellow detainee Hope being sexually and physically assaulted as well as psychologically manipulated. We don't know with Enver if he ages in the hells (I assume he does, and that it is only those who sell their souls and end up there after death that do not age) but if he does, he goes from childhood to early adulthood, ten years, in this space (mirrored in Karlach spending ten years there as well, interestingly.)

We also don't actually know how he escaped the hells, and it is a niche headcanon (which I have also put into my works) that he as a young adult learned about sex and traded with Haarlep to find his route out (in my stories, this directly feeds into Mephistopheles being interested in the potential of this boy, and letting him steal the crown.) There's no text basis for this, it just neatly ties up some thematic threads and I think can be put aside and it still doesn't change the core that:

Enver Gortash had no way of having a healthy understanding of sex as a teenager. There isn't really any way that he could have! Either he's living in a one-bed apartment with abusive parents who hate his existence, or he's learning from Raphael's example in literal hell.

Sexual Agency

This is where a lot of people feel differently, but again, we can look at things as they are and then make some inferences.

Enver Gortash does not have a named spouse, or any named mistresses/side pieces/conquests. Anything. There is no evidence of anything (we will come to Durge later.) Compare this to Sarevok, who has two named partners and is inferred to have had others, and it is an interesting choice to have zero ties. It's particularly interesting because as a Lord, he would be expected to be thinking of siring a house, and as a man in power, the narrative expectation would be to find evidence of sex as a benefit of his position. We don't see any evidence of that.

There is a read that many, including me, bring to the fondness that The Dark Urge and Gortash have for each other, but again, there is no evidence that this is sexual or if it is, that it was ever something than a mutual pining. That's the joy of fanworks, you can grow on what's there, but it's not explicit that it's anything more than mutual admiration.

So for me? I think that there is significant evidence that he doesn't prioritise sexual attraction and fulfilment over other areas of reward.

Sex as a Tool

What we do know though is that he has used his body to get things he wants. The Jannath letter, which I love, makes it clear that he had sex with her for financial favours and clout, and that she indulged him in this. He's also more than happy to trade on his image in every way he can. I think it's easy to infer from this that he is, at least in one setting, able to give people what they want out of sex. Whether that means he's technically good OR he's good at constructing and fulfilling the fantasy, I think that's up to interpretation, but I think he knows what to do when it is a performance, and if there's something he can tangibly get out of it like money, power, the ability to blackmail somebody later, then that is the element that is getting him off, not the sex itself. Sex for gain is just another part of his arsenal, to be refined and researched like anything else, and picked up and put down as useful to him.

Sex as Desire

And this is --and it is completely up to interpretation here, I'm just rolling with the other things I see -- where it can potentially all fall apart for Gortash. If he actually likes somebody, if there is a desire or an affection or anything like that, and if he is able to even feel emotions like that, what does he do with them? It's not useful, it's not contained, it's not part of the punishment he learned in the hells or the seduction he learned in the patriars. If he does find himself genuinely fond of another person, how can that fit in his ideas of sex? Personally, I don't think it can do, and there's lots of ways to play with that. In my own stories, the sexual contact he has with Manva is brief, quite one-sided, and quite regressive. He is no charming seducer, but instead taken back to something much simpler that he likely didn't have space for when he was young. He has other encounters where he can't get it up, or can't climax, because the circumstances aren't quite right, the promise of power is not enough, or the partner is too willing (not like he has learned of in the hells at all.)

I think personally that if he does seek out recreational sex, then it is primarily going to be motivated by power play. And I don't think this is well negotiated kink territory. He plays with the player character constantly, testing them, destroying their reputation in the press quest, always vying for more power even when you are apparently allies. This is a man who always, always needs to know he can change the tide.

I think of the woman whose voice was used in the necrotic laboratory, who was stolen away with a promise of a better life. I think of Fariza Linnacker. There's no evidence either were sexual, but we do know that he took great pleasure in manipulating and destroying their lives.

Gortash has so much going on around sex as a tool, as a weapon even, that when it comes to a genuine connection, there's every possibility that he cannot perform at all.

And would that make him embarrassed? Angry? Would he blame? Lash out? Would he seek out professionals to replay old traumas as a "safe space"? Would he avoid all intimacy because he sees it as weak and disgusting? I think there's a lot of scope within this.

So the short version is... I think he's able to be good at sex when it's FOR something. But I don't know if he's even interested when it's not, and if he is, I think he has a long way to go to actively want to seek it out. And is he good in the way that it is connected, intimate? Probably not.

[kotlc-headcanons]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤTW eating and sleeping disorders ⛔ ㅤI don't know if the fandom has already agreed on this and I'm just late to the party, but I feel like it has to be said, especially since we have a separate headcanon blog now. In the process of reading the second book I started to get a feeling like Sophie has some sort of eating and sleeping disorders, most definitely based on stress, and the further I got into the series, the more my suspicions were confirmed. ㅤ1. Eating disorder: I'd guess Sophie has some digestive issues because of the constant stress she's been experiencing. Every book has one too many sentences that start like "Sophie's stomach churned at the thought of..." or "Sophie was glad she skipped breakfast that day as she..." for me to feel comfortable about Sophie's health. And she does like food, she can enjoy eating, but she'd also often pass up on eating in favor of solving yet another conspiracy theory (unless someone forces her to eat first), and that can't be healthy... ㅤ2. Sleeping disorder: I don't think I even have to say anything, we've all seen it. Sophie sometimes does research instead of sleeping like it's a normal thing to pull all-nighters for a middle-schooler, and when she does try to sleep it's several hours of tossing and turning and horrible nightmares for the rest. The only three things that I've seen to help her get to sleep (as of the ending of Lodestar) are sedatives (but she hates those), Silveny's transmissions and reveriebells. Otherwise it's nightmares, nightmares, nightmares. Not surprising for the girl that witnesses The Horrors every week. And sure, maybe the physical effects could be healed with a bottle of Youth or something, but you can't tell me that this doesn't affect her mental health!! Elves really need to get into psychology and find some therapists, or everyone will go crazy by the end of the series

ㅤAnyway, in my mind Sophie is an insomniac with huge eyebags and a weak stomach. The price of being ✨The Legendary Moonlark✨ (among many other sacrifices she makes)

yeah this girl cannot sleep…

[drawinglin]

Hello. Regarding Hellraiser III, I seem to recall you making a comment about how you believed Elliott and Unbound!Pinhead to be physical manifestations of Freud's model of the psyche - super-ego and id respectively. I am in total agreement with you there, and I have believed this same thing for a long time now. This would also make normal 'Bound' Pinhead that we meet in the first two films, and the films following Bloodline, to be the actual Ego itself. I think this makes the third film, and the characterisations so much more interesting, rather than doing what the early 90s HR comics did, which was to have Pinhead be an Aztec 'demon' who possesses Elliott, making them separate people altogether. That's boring and predictable, and just goes against everything that the movies established in the earlier films for Pinhead. By having Unbound and Elliott be one and the same, just different aspects of the same man, which is basically what HR is about - our deepest, darkest desires explored and enhanced, it builds on the HR mythology. This is why I've always loved HR3, and why I don't think it's a bad film, and why I just adore Unbound as a character. This is Pinhead off the leash. I still believe that Unbound would still be very fond of Kirsty, and still would be driven to protect her in some way. Even without his human side. But for the most part, he would be super eager to have her join him. Though he'd treat her much differently than he did the club patrons. I don't think the love/lust for Kirsty comes from just his human side. It comes from all of him.

Anyway, I thought I'd share my thoughts on the matter with you. I found this online regarding id, ego, super-ego, and it reminded me of the boys even more so. Maybe you could draw something out of this? It's an idea. I love your art. Keep up the good work! :)

Your analysis of Unbound and Elliot is exactly what I was thinking. It almost makes me cry. I’ve always found it hard to dislike HR3 for this reason. After watching the HR1 and HR2, I felt that human desires and darkness are what truly terrify us. So when I discovered that HR3 split the Hell Priest into two characters, I was super excited.

The human version of Elliot is relatively mature; after all, he carries the memories and burdens from his time as a human, as well as the PTSD of being a survivor of World War I. He is also someone who adheres strictly to rules. I guess this leadership quality and personality is what attracted Leviathan to him, eventually leading him to become the priest managing hell. In the moment of their separation, the repressed desires, dark sides, and nature of the human were individually extracted, like a newly born child without constraints. They both possess things that the other lacks. I’m really looking forward to their journey of hatred and self-destruction gradually turning into understanding, culminating in a new interpretation of a single person. It’s amazing! But unfortunately, HR3 didn’t delve into their complex psychological relationship in detail. This regret has made me want to doodle their story.

I was shocked to learn that the comic had mentioned the demon's setting before; I had no idea about that. Thank you for sharing! Like you, I’m more inclined towards the idea of the id and superego!

I agree that Elliot and Unbound have an obsession with Kirsty and surely hope that she would join their ranks as a Cenobite.

But to me,I tend to see their relationship as a complex ambiguity; I imagine it as a sense of distance rather than a romantic interaction. Their conflicts would actually bring them closer together.

For Kirsty, the Hell Priest undoubtedly intervened in her life and indirectly destroyed her family. Even if it started because of someone else’s involvement, he still cast a huge shadow over Kirsty. In their contract relationship, the Hell Priest has let her go multiple times, and Elliot himself has said that Kirsty is his friend. Therefore, I believe they share a relationship that is both contradictory and beautiful!

The existence of their relationship is so enchanting, which is probably why so many people like it!

And thank you for the pictures you provided. I love your thoughts every time you share them; they truly inspire me!🥰❤️ ❤️

[perfectlovevn]

Hm... So I really like reading manga and manhua and one of the more popular themes right now is the whole player/dangueon/tower motive/theme. So I was wondering....

- if all 3 Milos were to be siblings (triplets), what would their other potential names be? The thought of Milo's parents using the same name for all their 3 sons makes me giggle. But yeah, pre! Milo would still be Milo but what about the other versions? Or any nicknames to distinguish the Milos?

- What kind of powers would they have? Any elemental powers? Psychological?

- Preferred weapon?

- Impulsive, tactical or too cautious and careful?

- What's their class?

And a very random question:

- What would each Milos' and your head sound like? It could be a song or a sound that is used to describe it. Like my brain switches between calm weaves hitting the shore and alternative metal tbh

Thank you, have a picture of two of my cats!

Waah such cute cats!

Hard to say. I think there was someone who made names for the three of them as headcannons. I think it would be neat if the two of them were named after either someone who is manipulative and violent or named after their animals of choice. The animal nicknames might be more prominent. I'm not good with names I could barely come up with Milo's name lol.

PreMilo I think would have some sort of healing or support powers. He seems like he would be more on the support rather than the offensive. For a weapon I'd imagine he'd have more of a shield or maybe some sort of lesser weapon since I don't think he's the type to fight. Definitely on the careful side since he doesn't want to get hurt or have others get hurt. Some sort of healer or buff class (and sacrifices his own health to help others type deal). Hmm, in terms of sound, I guess something cute but shy. I don't really have a song to it. Maybe something to the tone of Yr the best (though not quite the contents of it).

Manipulation Milo would definitely have some sort of psychic powers either things like mind reading or like delusions or something along those lines. His weapon is probably something simple like a dagger or I think it would be hilarious if he had some sort of gun as well. He is for sure very tactical since he likes to analyze the enemy's weaknesses and play around with them if possible. Class wise maybe some sort of thief or magic user. In terms of song, I can imagine something that starts out slow and becomes more deranged as the song goes on.

Violence Milo has some sort of physical based power whether it be super strength or turning his body into metal or something like that. I can imagine he has some sort of heavy weapon, like a hammer, but he would have some sort of blunt weapon, so a bat might be best. Very impulsive and will attack without warning if you're not careful. Classwise probably like a barbarian or a fighter. Song wise I think some sort of heavy metal or heavy rock.

Perfect Milo must be some sort of super boss...

[hollyhomburg]

Hmmm... those latest chapters had me wondered if in another universe when she haven't met the pack, the m/c ever happened to meet a seriously really good guy, maybe better than the pack at caring and loving her, would Yoongi gave her up or would he selfishly keep her by his side?

OOOOOOH so this....this actually is gonna get visited in the super angsty alternative bily ending if we ever get around to talking about it. but in short- yoongi would fight like hell. ESPECIALLY if he was still like mated to her- and if that was still a factor.

it's touched on a little at the very beginning of bily but beta mating bites can make both parties behave a little irrationally because they're incredibly strong- mating bites already are a soulbond- but a beta mating bite is straight on dependency and addiction. the m/c has skirted by most of the nastier side effects because she's got geumjae's bite- which yoongi's bite softens and weakens greately- diluting it. but rest assured if they where apart for more than a week yoongi would start to feel some seriously negitive health effects- think along the lines of irritability, tremors, insomnia, paranoia, difficulty keeping food down, like...classic withdrawal symptoms.

but yeah- this question does get delt with eventually in the alternative ending for bily and i guess i've never gone into what happens so! i'll go into it now

tw: psychological conditioning, phsyical and psychological abuse, mentioned suicide attempt, serious angst, beware!

basically, in the angsty alternative ending for bily, the m/c ends up going with moonbyul and staying with her for a period of years until...the m/c is no longer 'fun' for her to play with. think what happened with geumjae x10.

i have thought through the angsty plot of bily almost more than i've thought through the begining part of the series. in my mind- i can picture vividly the night that moonbyul returns the m/c to the pack- that she'd take a picture of some random dumpster behind a bar that the family own and send it to yoongi with the message, "i'd get here quick, the trash comes in the morning. have fun with my scraps"

and of course- the pack would hunt it down- the location- jin and jimin using their training to the best of their abilities, and when they find her- i firmly belive that she'd be near death, broken ribs from being stomped on, hair shaved off because moonbyul wanted to take everything from her before she let her go- i can vividly see namjoon sobbing as he picks her up, thinking she's dead but then her crumpled hand coming up to touch his dimples and everyone scattering, maybe they move to take her to the hospital and she tells them not too but...namjoon cannot make her better. she's beyond repair.

i picture very vividly her in the hospital. namjoon and yoongi standing back against the wall while they fight to save her life- taking in everything, the buuises, the healed cuts- more words that she wrote on her- maybe a tattoo or two- a collapsed lung, dangerously skinny and small because of course moonbyul would have fucked with that too.

i think moonbyul would have systematically psychologically dismantled the m/c, would have pulled some sick dependancy shit, would have made her dependant on the approval of her and the other packmates. to the point where the m/c would not think to do things like eat or fall asleep unless someone ordered her to do it. i do think she'd fight the doctors at the hosptial physically- or at least try too- so unused to being around people that wheren't moonbyul at that point that she'd be paniced.

of course the pack would try to rehabilitate her afterwords with very minimal seucess because at that point, she wouldn't be interested in a relationship or even have any interest in being loved- she's not even a ghost after what moonbyul did to her she's basically just existing because dying would kill yoongi and she doesn't want him to die. thats honestly- the only think i think she even thinks about- is keeping yoongi alive. thats the only thought or want or desire she has anymore.

maybe that was all that kept moonbyul from truly breaking her- just telling herself over and over again that yoongi had to live, that he had to live because if the pack looses both of them they'll never recover.

but just wanting him to live does not mean she wants to be apart of his life or love him or be loved by him, she is past the point of that making her comfortable. i think- being back at the house of course the pack would want to be near her but would be very mindful of stifling her.

i picture the first night she gets home and jin and jungkook would be waiting with a nest they made special- it's all clean, everything is clean because they saw- they know what moonbyul did to her and she passes right by the nest with a blank look and goes downstairs and when yoongi tries to get in the bed with her she doesn't even say anything she just moves to the floor. and he picks her up and places her back in the bed and moves to sit outside the room because it's clear- it's clear she can't be around them- and her moving around too much in her state is actually a little dangerous with her collapsed lung and all.

she doesn't want to do anything but sleep and even then sometimes she doesn't want to do that.

it's brutal and bloody- but after a near suicide attempt in my mind, the pack agree that it's best for her to go into inpatient care... permanently. especially because there where signs that they ignored because they wanted her to get better and where convinced that just a few more days and she'd crack.

keeping in mind that yoongi is going to have to see her at some point because of the mating marks and because he litterally will suffer from mate sickness if they are not at least around each other for a few hours every month. so they find a place thats nice and close, close enough for weekly visits, with a star studded staff that jin vetts, and she gets on medication that may not do everything but at least makes her not violent towards herself.

but then, after a little while the m/c just keeps getting worse and worse. (i can picture one night- when namjoon and jin get a call that she's had another attempt, and they go to see her and she's actually trying to ram her head into the wall while several people hold her down. its a room with a one way mirror and she doesn't know that they can see or here her beg to die and just...i don't think they'd have ever heard her sound like that. i think if yoongi was there- he'd be the one going non-verbal.

i think seeing each other wouldn't be good for yoongi and the m/c at that stage. it would just hurt too much- hurt yoongi because he feels like he's failed her so completely that he can hardly look at her and her because every time they come and see that she's still fucked up- she feels like she's failed them and she wants to stop failing them but getting better isn't possible for her. she's too damaged, too broken.

so yoongi decides to see how long he can go without seeing her- to give them both a time to regroup- namjoon and jin still get the reports from the facility where she is about how she's doing- which are very very detailed because jin and namjoon would only get the best for her. jin approves all of her medication changes and reads every report, hinging on every word for some bit of hope.

The symptoms of mate sickness start slow, but yoongi wouldn't let them get too bad before going to see her, he'd maybe last 6 months. only in my mind- when he goes to the facility, the m/c has already left and disappeared, with not even a note in her place.

and then yoongi would get sicker,

it would take the pack a year or two to track her down again- but i think when they find her again, she's still a ghost- but the beta she works with...looks at her a little too fondly and yoongi sees red.

anyway! if you have any questions about the bily alternative ending! please don't hesitate to ask! i've had lots and lots to think about.

[some-insomniac-writes]

THE NINTENDOGS BARK IS SO REAL N TRUEEEEEE she just a baybeeee 😞😞

He's taking too much time talking to someone, and she just keeps trying to nudge the ball at his feet, pawing at his leg, and he'll give her a little earscratch and then a gentle lil nudge to 'run along' bc daddy's busy. But she doesn't wanna,, n gets pouty about it bc who the heck is this rando stealing all the attention??? 😭 she's def letting out a few (nintendog) yips to try and get Leon's attention

They go home n she immediately buries herself in her blankets in her little playpen area with a *whimper whimper whine whine* while Leon's trying to coax her out, "Sweetheart, don't be like that. You know how busy things can be for daddy. It's rude to interrupt when he's trying to talk to someone, y'know."

While she continues to pout n won't budge, he's like mmm ok reverse psychology

"Hm, well if you wanna hang out here, that's fine, pup- I guess you won't mind if I step out for a bit though." N he's walking to the door, doesn't even have to open it before she's bursting outta there like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😞😞😞😢😢

Also agreed!! Those 3 def love puppy reader, and puppy reader always asks if he's ever going back to the office bc hint hint, paw paw,, she wants to go, too! :D

Oh! I'd imagine Rebecca also finding her endearing <33 probably has treats on hand in her coat for whenever she runs into the two, again!

- Your Sunshine ☀️🧡

Oh definitely! I’ve seen the videos about Layla the cat being a Velcro pet and it’s so hybrid reader coded!!! Leon puts his phone down to record him leaving the room and it’s just reader setting their cute butt down on the floor with a thud and a swishing tail whining at the door, pawing at it. Like hello, I’m still here!!!! If he ever tries to go ‘hm, well I guess if you’re still mad at me, you won’t mind if I go out for a walk’ and suddenly he’s got a little lady clinging to his leg.

If he ever invests in one of those treat dispensers with a camera in it so he can speak through it she’s got her face right up against it sniffing it all day, pawing at it, trying to sit on it cause it’s obviously daddy cause his voice is IN THERE let him OUT!!!

Becca loves her so much too :3 definitely helps with the physicals, pets your fluffy ears as she’s inspecting your paws and nails, teeth and all that. If there was anyone to teach her how to do little tricks it’d be Becca solely cause she’s super sweet but also has those good treats in her pocket!!

[tempeststhings]

What if Aventurine isn't really a short king (nothing wrong with that honestly, I'd still love him regardless), but is actually still a minor? Hear me out

Feel free to ignore the ramblings of a depressed woman going through med school but during psychiatry classes the prof mentioned something about trauma and forcing some people to mature earlier than most (or sometimes appear more mature than others)

People have been making remarks about his height but rarely do I hear people talk about his age.

Maybe I'm just blowing all of this out of proportion or something 😅 but maybe there's a possibility that he was still pretty much younger than what we all think.

When faced with a stressor, either real or perceived, there is a fight or flight reaction. The brain sends signals, and the body reacts by readying itself to either fight the threat or flee from it.

Some bodily reactions include:

Heart rate and blood pressure increase

Breathing quickens

Pain response dulls

Pupils dilate

Awareness and observation increase

Adrenaline is pumped through your body – giving you additional energy and strength, making you more tired afterwards

The body produces cortisol to help with extended alertness to face a threat.

“The flight or fight response is a psychological reaction when we are experiencing something dangerous or terrifying – mentally or physically, it’s triggered by a release of hormones created to deal with the danger one is facing or fleeing from it. In other words, the flight or fight response is a reaction to an experience or event perceived as stressful, scary, or traumatizing,”

We all know the shit Aventurine had to go through his whole life right? If that's not stressful, scary or traumatizing I don't know what is. Unfortunately he was almost always in a constant fight or flight state due to his life's circumstances. His voice's pitch sounds younger compared to the other males in the game (maybe that's just a character choice though so who knows?) But if I can estimate his age based from the chronological order of the bullshittery that happened in his life, I'd say he's about 16-17 give or take.

Again, these are all just speculations and guesses 😅 no need to get mad at me for sharing them if you happen to disagree.

[dazedloli]

❤︎ Mitte ou Nimi ..꒰🍮` 19 ﹙she && her﹚ demiaroace

quiet bpd, ocd, dpd ૮꒰◌ .๑. ꒱ა‎ 🩷 taken by @cunnywarrior 🩷

🎒.. ❤︎ matchy with @crimsonprayer & @cagedseraph ❤︎

꒰꒰ 🩵 .. TW FOR SELF HARM, MENTAL HEALTH, JIRAI COMMUNITY, PROBLEMATIC TERMINOLOGY (loli and "heavy" jokes such as nsfw and dark topics), OBSESSION, SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR !! if you have a problem with me send an ask I don't bite I promise !! `` , 🍬 ; I ask that you don't send me asks && dms on how to make me be better or get better !! I am in therapy, medical and psychological, and I am aware of what helps me and what doesn't !! .. 🩷 ꒱꒱

Haaaai !! Welcome to my blog.. I reblog about anything that I might enjoy 🩷 mostly a lot of stuff I relate to: mental health problems, characters I ID with, tons of obsessive loveposting, occasionally my own art and hobbies..

I have autism, and I'm heavily messed up identity wise .. ` ꒰🐙꒱ .. this means I latch onto characters and define them as Me Irl, I ask that you respect that hehe.. I'm very very.. possessive of those characters since they're me and and me only .. ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱ა I also heavily ID with the term Loli, due to a lack of physical development and mental age !! Not because I condone lolicon/map type fetishes, as much as I'm neutral on fiction I don't think u should show off ur gross weird fetishes online, keep it to urself u creep !! It's not Age Regression, since I don't Regress, my mind is permanently stuck as Non-Aged !! If I had to guess,, I'd say I'm mentally around 9/10

I'm a lifestyle Jirai, might not wear the fashion but surely I am part of the community, mental illness and with a history of homelessness, I'm a real landmine !! Fashion jirais are not welcome. ‹3 I also would consider myself Pro Fiction or Dark Ship but the terms have been butchered so much by pedophiles and maps that I refuse to use them bleah .. lots of my ships tend to match my rl with bfie, which is very much Con Abuse and Intense/Violent in a .. nice way.

My spinterests include but are not limited to: vampires, naval concepts/piracy, Sanrio, jojifuku and yumekawa and generally cutesy girly childish fashions, Toradora, Hellsing, cuteness (anything that is pink or pastel or cutesy.. it's hard to explain), jirai !! .. I love collecting plushies and eating sweets and snacks :3

Currently I don't have a job nor do I attend school.. I dropped out, you could call me a neet but frankly I don't use the term to refer to myself, I'm just a weird shut in obsessed with her boyfriend 🩷 my hobbies include napping, watching anime, collecting cute things, rotting in bed, gardening (I touch grass daily!!), cooking and chatting w my beloved..

Characters that are Me Irl : Kanna Kamui, Anzu Futaba, Kisaragi (Azur Lane), Miyu, Ibuki, Mutsuki (Blue Archive), Nemu Sanjou/Nemurin, MyMelody, Charmmy Kitty, and maaaany others :3

[spicybylerpolls]

are the people who are anti-nsfw-byler aware that homosexual males have sexual fantasies and urges, and act on those urges?

are they aware that we're not some pure magical fairies who "represent the cleanest form of love"?

like, no, we still get very horny just like nearly every other male. the difference is that we're horny exclusively for other guys.

even i, who also identify as gray asexual, have periods where i'm very horny, get turned on easily and my libido is all over the place. but i also have periods when i'm not interested in sex at all & just crave romantic affection. so most gay guys are even more sexual than i am.

we're not some "cute wholesome bois", we crave sex. and sex isn't clean whether you like it or not. gay sex is dirty and carnal, deal with it.

maybe it's because a lot of them are girls, but guess what, being horny and sexually aroused feels different for guys than it does for girls.

if you think gay males are dainty fairies who exist only to look cute and be pretty, you're part of the problem.

Delicious points, anon!

When many had a problem with hosegate, you know the problem isn't just with people not wanting to watch literal sex scenes (which is understandable- not everyone wants to see it) but on the characters being sexual beings at all (which is not understandable, since sex is a normal, healthy, and common part of coming-of-age narratives).

It also isn't just because Mike & Will are still underage because as many of my anons have pointed out, people tend to have way fewer qualms about Lucas and Max being sexual beings (the things under Lucas's bed, Max's "happy screams" comment, etc.) or about Dustin being a sexual being (his physical attraction to Phoebe Cates, Steve talking with him about "sexual electricity, etc). And obviously both Jancy and Stancy were still underage when they had sex.

I do think there's often a weird energy here specifically around Byler. People often emphasize how cute and wholesome and pure Byler is while neutering the sex part of their sexuality in the process.

Of course, that's a false dichotomy where Mike and Will somehow can't be both cute/wholesome/pure and normal teenage boys who get boners and think about doing the devil's tango. I mean when some Bylers in the past have tried cancelling fic writers for hinting that Mike and Will get boners sometimes, that's really weird, no?

If anything, this kind of mindset can often be more homophobic than those who are outright against two boys dating. In an effort to not "fetishize," Bylers make the characters sexless and sterile (which to some extent is more of a "fetish," if you really think about it). There's probably not one single specific reason for this. I think there are a lot of psychological elements at play, and there's a lot to unpack. I'd be interested in hearing anyone's further thoughts on this topic!

[voxpraxis]

lately i've been... idk if you can really call it "debating" but i've been interacting with some muslims in the comments of an instagram reel in which a young girl was speaking to a young boy (i want to emphasize that they are both children) and telling him that she wasn't allowed to speak to boys until she was married, because her parents and her religion said so. the boy was sad but replied with something like "oh, alright" and the caption & comments were all talking about how "sweet" the situation was. i commented that i didn't think it was sweet, and actually that's a horrible thing to put in a child's mind. the post never directly mentioned islam and neither did i, but everyone who's been replying to me is proselytizing islam, so. anyway, these are the points that have been thrown at me so far:

it's not wrong because both genders are forced apart from each other

in response to me saying it still enforces an extreme divide between genders and encourages them to see each other as opposites rather than equals: the separation is necessary to prevent rape

there is no rape in islam because of the separation between men and women, rape only occurs in western society because men and women are not separated (...because apparently we cannot expect men to not rape women unless they're physically kept away from them at all times)

rape does not happen between family members, it's just not a real thing, ever (incest doesn't exist?)

if you're interested in a girl you should marry her immediately, because dating leads to cheating

men and women cannot be just friends because "islam and science and psychology says so." one guy said it's because "women can't talk about cars and sports"

(i also got called a simp for saying i have female friends. can't make this shit up)

in response to me pointing out that what the girl is saying implies that she won't have any say in who her husband is: arranged marriages are better because they always work out and unlike western marriages, they never end in divorce! (i'll give you one guess why that is.)

similarly, single parent families and suicide are solely western problems

men and women are NOT equal

i need to shut up and respect it because that's their religion

islam cannot be questioned because islam says islam is true

and that's not including all the personal insults and threats i've received, in just a few days.

i will say this is one of the least challenging "debates" i've ever had, in the sense that almost no point brought against me has any logical foundation and is easily refutable. but it's one of the most frustrating because the problem is that they won't hear me at all, because islam teaches its followers to never consider anything else. it teaches them to accept exactly what they are spoon-fed as the ultimate truth. and this is by no means a problem exclusive to islam, but islam does this kind of control better than any other religion i know. people raised into islam are not taught to think in any logical terms - in fact, they're deliberately taught to avoid thinking logically. logical fallacies are the rule. so not only can they barely form a coherent argument in favour of their beliefs, but they have absolutely no clue how illogical they sound sometimes. when i point out a lapse in logic in something they've said, the response i get is "no, that's true because islam says it's true." no other explanation required. at least, i've sometimes heard people of other religions attempt to use logic or science to prove their beliefs, but with the muslims in these comments, those are unnecessary things to be absolutely avoided - it's like they don't even understand why i'd bother to use them. you can't use logic to get through to them because they've been taught to avoid logic and cling to the mantra of islam-is-true-because-islam-says-so.

[cookinguptales]

frank discussion of gynecological issues and frustrations with OBGYNs (especially re: chronic illness) under the cut, but I guess also potentially useful information for people who want to hear about it

so... some of you might remember when I was going to OGBYNs a little while ago. I have endometriosis and PMDD diagnoses, so going to OBGYNs isn't exactly unusual for me, but I ended up going to see more than I usually do.

this was largely because the hormonal therapy that I was taking for those disorders was starting to fail and I was bleeding a lot. like... for weeks at a time over a period of months. I had to deal with some... frustrating OBGYN advice in this time (such as the rage-inducing "well, women have to bleed") but I also discovered that like... I mean, I think I always knew that I had more vaginal pain than other people I know, but a lot of things hurt me so I just kind of... ignored it?

but they tried to put me on the nuva ring for a little while during this period and my body just... straight-up rejected it. it hurt like a bitch to put in, it kept coming out, I could feel it in there and it hurt, etc.

I ended up comparing notes with some other people I know and realized that my problems with insertion were probably more severe than I'd thought. like, it is not unusual for me to cry during pap smears and have cramping for days afterward. I cannot use tampons without massive pain. your body is not really supposed to physically expel something like a nuva ring several times a day. tmi I guess but I have not found penetration of any kind pleasant.

so I talked to... I want to say four or five different OBGYNs in this period, and none of them gave me a real reason for this. the prevailing attitude was mostly "oh yeah, that happens sometimes. lmao."

the best I could get was a diagnosis of "vaginismus" on my chart, and when I pressed for more information, they basically told me it was a psychological thing where your body is afraid of penetration so it clenches up and won't unclench. they literally grilled me on my history of sexual abuse to see if they could find the source of my dick phobia.

now... not to get too into it, but I do have a history of CSA -- but my pain problems predate it. I got my period relatively early and I've never been able to use tampons or anything like them. every time I've tried has ended in literal tears. again, cramping pain for days, even after the period itself has stopped.

so I get the dick phobia diagnosis from two different doctors, but one of them says she can do a transvaginal ultrasound if I'm really worried. we do this and it is uh. excruciating, honestly. thank god it was in California and they let me get high as a kite.

in the end, they can't find anything "physically" wrong with why I'm in pain and they send me on my way, dick phobia dx in hand.

today. today. YEARS later. I am googling tips on how to try a menstrual cup if you have vaginismus (prep for the trip abroad; I don't like Japanese pads) and I see someone saying "oh, I'm glad that treatment worked for you, my problems are because of ehlers-danlos syndrome."

you know, one of the chronic illnesses I have and one that I divulged to every OBGYN I saw.

what.

paging Dr. Google!!!

I come to find out that folks that have EDS, because of their connective tissue issues and extremely brittle skin, sometimes deal with extreme gynecological pain. it's partially pelvic floor issues, partially the fact that the skin in your vagina is breaking.

so all those times that I said "it feels like it's cutting me" or "it feels like knives" were probably because it was fucking cutting me. all those times I said I felt scraped raw for days was probably because abrasions take a long time to heal when you have EDS.

I cannot believe. I cannot believe. that I went into so many different OBGYNs who told me that my pain issues were because I had a psychological fear of dicks and when I told them I was a lesbian were like "oh well then problem solved" when actually my body was physically tearing. I had even seen blood sometimes and it had always been dismissed as spotting.

the anger I feel rn is indescribable, tbh. I never bought that my problems were all in my head (probably because doctors used that line on me so often when I was a kid and getting other chronic illnesses diagnosed) but the fact that gynecological health science is still so fucking awful that we shrug off pain that is the symptom of dangerous chronic illnesses as "well that happens sometimes" or "have you considered that maybe you're afraid of sex?"

I JUST

this reminds me of when I had to find out from a fucking tumblr post that vaginal secretions are made from blood rather than glands, so if you have bad blood pressure/flow it'll often cause itchiness/dryness/pain. bad blood flow like... idk... maybe POTS.

so again, it was actually one of my known chronic illnesses causing gynecological issues, not any of the other bullshit reasons doctors were giving me, like age or stress.

I hate that I'm fucking 33 years old and I still have to learn stuff like this from google searches. I still don't know how my shitty body works, and it's largely because of stuff like this. what the fuck. I'm so mad. why do doctors still treat vaginas like a fucking scary mystery?

I'm well aware that Dr. Google doesn't always know what the fuck it's talking about, but apparently neither do my doctors! which is why, yet again, I'm up all night reading medical journals in the vain attempt to figure out how to actually live my life!

ugh!!!

[larvasmoon]

OC Deep Dive : Selene

Thank you @cinnamontails-ff and @davenswitcher for the tags ❤️

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

Selene is full of fears, she is scared of life in general. She has a deep-rooted fear of abandonment, that probably comes from her childhood and the fact that she spent a few years in an orphanage. She always has this fear that the people closest to her will get bored of her, that they will end up seing just how troubled and flawed she is. Apart from that, she is both fascinated and terrified by the dark or the night. If someone locked her in a room, in complete darkness, she would have the worst panic attack. I guess she is also slightly claustrophobic and hates being in big crowds of people.

Do they have any pet peeves?

She hates self-entitled and arrogant people who are very insecure deep down; the type that belittles and degrades others in order to feel better about themselves.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Her bedroom is full of sketchbooks, charcoal sticks, scattered palettes and paintbrushes. You might also find a few books about tarot cards and the art of divination on her nightstand. She also has a small bookcase in her room full of dusty volumes of poetry and romance novels that she used to read at night when she was younger.

What do they notice first in a person?

Selene is an observer so the first thing she might notice about a person will be little details : the color of their eyes in the sun, a small dimple on the side of their mouth, the way they drink their tea or hold their cup.

On a scale from 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Probably 8 or 9. She grew up in an orphanage full of nasty little boys who liked to pick on her, pulling on her hair or heckling her were their favorite things to do when they were bored. She is no stranger to pain, physical and psychological, and will handle it quite well.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

It depends in what stage of the story. In the latest chapters, I'd say 70% fight, 30% flight, but at the beginning of the story she was more of a scaredy cat.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Selene was left in a basket in front of the city's orphanage when she was a baby. She doesn't know who her parents are and why they couldn't keep her, she was tormented by those questions most of her childhood and teenage years. Once she became an adult, she managed to make her peace with the situation. The closest she has to a father is Finn, Damian Fallheel's butler. Amalia, the orphanage's headmistress, is also a motherly figure for her, she often visits her to chat and confide in her.

What animal represents them best?

A pretty garden bird or a black cat.

What is a smell they dislike?

Overly sweet and strong scents.

Have they broken any bones?

She fell off of a tree's branch when she was little and broke her right leg. It took a long time to recover and walk again because the orphanage did not have enough money to pay for a healer.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Very reserved and mysterious, she's often described as "elusive" and unreadable when she meets new people.

Are they a night owl, or morning bird?

Definitely a night owl. She spends most of her nights awake, either painting or thinking about painting. The witching hour is her favorite, she gets so many ideas when the world is silent and asleep.

What’s a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

She hates the sour taste of strong black chocolate. She loves strawberries cakes, anything creamy and soft. She also adores all sorts of vegetables, stews and soups, the comforting taste of something of a warm and rich broth on a cold winter day.

Do they have any hobbies?

Apart from painting, she is very interested in tarot and divination magic. She often reads books about it and buys pretty decks from obscure shops in the Lower City's dangerous neighborhoods.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprise?

Probably blush and get teary-eyed, because she cannot believe someone actually thought about her birthday and planned a party.

Do they like to wear jewellery?

She has a lot of piercings on her ears, she did them during her rebellious teenage phase but loves them very much to this day. She wears a lot of moon earrings because she is obsessed with the night sky and the stars. On her fingers, she only wears the ring that Vespertine gave to her.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Very pretty cursive handwriting that she spent hours perfecting while writing in her sketchbooks and diaries with a quill.

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Sadness and a sort of pretty melancholy, when she contemplating something that inspires her to create art.

Do they have a favourite fabric?

Anything silky or lacy, she likes when it feels soft on the skin.

What kind of accent do they have?

Amalia used to speak elvish to her when she was little so she would stay connected to her ancestry. Her words have a lull to them now because of it, but she mostly doesn't have an accent at all.

Tagging @anacdoce and @roguishcat if they haven't been tagged before 💕