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#puts up with my daily bullshit
trauma-insence · 1 year
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okay hear me out: as a publicity stunt palmetto state’s recruiting tiktok account does little gimmicks about “a day in the life” of various students. the foxes are approached that one of them needs to make one. the obvious one here is allison, she’s rich and pretty and could make it all seem fabulous. but she got out of public view, things like this is exactly what she left behind. no one else is willing, except a manic andrew. ultimately, they end up not being able to post andrew’s since it’s full of him skipping class, smoking in his dorm, and random close up shots of neil actually doing schoolwork and studying. but for a day andrew has access to a palmetto state social media account and the worst he does is be gay
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calamitys-child · 1 month
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I'm being so serious rn if I ever talk about doing another fringe festival run in the next like 3 years at least send me to fucking therapy. It is a cry for help. This is bad for me.
#im over halfway at least. but fucking christ.#ive barely seen anyone i care about for weeks. im hardly sleeping. im in knee braces and im still in pain.#13 hours a day of people yelling at me. the busiest ive ever seen public transport. eating the most random sporadic shit.#no hobbies. very few friends or family. crying twice a day. i still havent been paid. binding!! binding 7am til midnight!!!! daily!!!!!#my whole body hurts im physically mentally emotionally exhausted im desperately lonely im not doing the things that make me feel fulfilled#when my loved ones are free im either working or passed out in pain and exhaustion#the boss is enabling all sorts of bullshit yet again#im not able to be a person anyone i care about deserves to know#and that makes me not want to know me either#that is at least when i have enough fractions of a spoon left to feel anything at all except upset or numb#i NEED this all to be over#my next free day is my sisters 21st birthday next month my fucking baby sister is turning 21 and i dont know what to get her#i dont have a brain im not being!! a person worth knowing!!!!#my gran fucking fell the other day she's hurt ive not visited her in ages bc of work and finance i want to see my wee gran i want#to buy her ice cream and tell her i love her#i had to clean up an old guy who smashed his face on the pavement today and im just putting That trauma off til at least mid September#my BEST FRIEND gets MARRIED next week#and i can barely think about it because im on empty#im on below empty#they deserve so much better from me#im out. im not doing this again. not like this.
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getvalentined · 5 months
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Thinking about finally throwing all my FF7 meta analysis and lore deep dive stuff onto a sideblog. It'd be reblogged from here, but I'd be able to organize it a little better, have a directory so people could find things more easily, and maybe it'd stop people from regurgitating things I say word-for-word for brownie points when they can just find and reblog the fucking original post(s).
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cartoon-skeleton · 6 months
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I hate school so fucking much lol and I always just thought I was taking too many credits but this semester I finally took a normal amount of credits and it doesn’t matter. It’s not the amount of classes, it’s just having any classes at all. I feel like there was definitely a time where I could handle it but not anymore lmfao… this place was crazy. Sent me into my first real and scary panic attack, broke me out in stress hives, ruined my sleep, turned me into a mega hater…. smh. I know it could be a million times worse so I feel bad for complaining but it was not cool. All I can hope for is that my degree and good grades that I damn near died trying to get for literally no reason do me some good in real society tho I doubt it lmao
#like why did I try so hard lmfao…… I don’t need a 4.0 I’m not going to grad school I’d rather kms#I don’t know. I didn’t realize I was trying that hard I just thought that’s how hard I was supposed to try#IDK!!!!#I have never been good at knowing how much effort to put into things my entire life#I give everything 110 percent when it feels like I’m giving it like. Idk. 80 percent#everyone calls me a perfectionist and IM NOT TRYING TO BE LOL I don’t know how to gauge what I can or can’t be dismissive of!!!#it’s hard for me to discuss this problem I have without it sounding like I’m being like ‘omg I’m so smart that I do everything perfect by#accident’#THATS NOT WHAT I MEEEEAAAN#whatever#some people’s mental health issues make their grades tank but I have never had below an A- in my life and if u ask me that is also#indicative of an issue like LOL. if your child is like that then get them help for fucking real#ugh I love my mom and it’s not her fault but when I was a kid I was literally bawling and having stress headaches and canker sores DAILY#after school and being unable to sleep because I was so afraid of going the next day#and she was just like. ‘I was like that too :) it’s normal. you’re just a perfectionist’#ACTUALLY IM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND FOR NO REASON but okay#ok sorry let me just shout out some gratitude tho to the handful of teachers I had who were epic and had swag#I loved them#they didn’t make up for the rest of this bullshit though LOL
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ankhisms · 2 years
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me being forced into saying im grateful for my father & his daily abuse & him making my life hell because my mom was like lets do a gratitude exercise :) and i was pressured into saying i was grateful for my dad like
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syrups-edit-corner · 2 years
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"U ARE A DANGER TO REAL PEOPLE" WTF LMAO IM LAUGHIMG MY ASS OFF HOW DO YOU PUT UP W THESE COMMENTS ALL THE TIME KOKI
cause trust me when I say I've gotten asks that were MUCH worse than that one lmao. That ask was basically nothing compared to most asks I've gotten. It's just that whenever I get a hate anon my only solution is to go off on them and hope they aren't dumb enough to respond.
Yaknow what I should start doing again? Responding to hate with a cursed image and nothing more. and the more vile the ask the more cursed the image. That tactic seemed very effective at stopping people from sending me hate, I did it on my old account before I got termed, idk why I stopped
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Mod Kokichi
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pibsboots · 8 months
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I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.
Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.
It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.
When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.
Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.
Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.
I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.
But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.
With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.
If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.
Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.
Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.
Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.
It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.
All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.
There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.
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iceman-maverick · 7 months
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:(
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kutyaharapas · 1 year
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i miss my dog i miss m doooooooog i miss my FUCKING dooognggnggghgg can i go back to 2019 when he was alive and covid never happened
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year
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No because I genuinely don’t know if I’m being mean and “assuming people know stuff” or if these are actually basic things anyone could infer
#she legit sees me as some sort of genius guru is the thing. and i’m really really not#i just happen to 1) use a combination of my common sense & my observations of the world to understand how basic situations#do and do not work. like for example the court thing. i don’t see news stories about defendants murdering witnesses on a daily basis#therefore i have to assume it happens pretty rarely; and that is probably because witness protection is put in place whenever there is#possibility of a defendant becoming violent#and then 2) if i DIDN’T know that. like if i didn’t read the news at all and knew nothing about court procedure. there is a second thing#i can do. which is called GOOGLE IIIIIT#i’m not a genius. i literally just think about stuff and if i truly don’t know then i find out#i truly don’t get people who dither like ‘what do you think x will be like’ ‘what’s the procedure with x’ FIND OUT#you have a device in your pocket that can connect you with virtually all of human knowledge#they’re trying to hide it from you with ai-generated pages and bullshit seo and paywalls but generally you can google a basic question#and get an answer. ‘what happens in a court room’ ‘what protections are put in place for witnesses’ ‘how is a court room laid out’#‘where does the defendant go after the verdict’ etc etc#like don’t act like i’m so smart when i literally just googled it. which you could also do. we have the same tools at our disposal#i have never been that smart i just refuse to let an issue go without examining it from all angles and finding out more about it first#i am literally academically and intellectually average. i just hate being wrong and underinformed so i look stuff up#personal
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saudadeko · 1 year
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ADHD tips from a girlie who was diagnosed in her late twenties and has had little to no support since and is being so brave about it:
1) Make it easy, make it accessible, and make it appealing. If anything this is the most important thing, all tips going forward are based around this concept.
2) That thing you think would help you but you haven’t bought/done it yet because you’re technically surviving without it? Buy it, you need it. It doesn’t matter if people around you might think it’s wasteful or that you’re lazy, you’re not, just do it, trust me.
3) Expanding on tip #2, if you’re like me and eggs are your main source of protein because they’re quick and easy and feeding yourself is a near insurmountable task- buy yourself an electric egg cooker, make a bunch of hard boiled eggs and keep them in your fridge for quick and easy protein to add to any meal (handful of crackers, a hard boiled egg and a banana? 5 star meal right there. Or mash them up with some mayo for egg salad sandwiches). Other easy proteins include: potstickers (put them in instant ramen), edamame (they have microwaveable snack packs), chickpeas (put in salads!), beans (can of beans microwaved with shredded cheese and some tortilla chips), peanut butter (with crackers, apple and cheese, adult lunchable style), and tofu (cut into cubes, throw them into a ziplock with some seasoning and potato starch, shake that shit up and bake it until crispy).
4) Spend a little extra (if you are able) on daily use items that excite you, it will make you more likely to remember/want to do said daily task. For example: the only reason I remember to use sunscreen is because I bought some fancy japanese sunscreen that smells like roses so I get excited to use it, same for laundry detergent and body wash! there’s a gajillion different body wash scents out there, switch it up!
5) If there’s a task you continuously struggle with take a moment to think about which part of the task is making it difficult, it could be something even as small as “I don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper because my hamper has a lid on it and lifting the lid is one step too many-”, sounds a little stupid huh? But trust your gut, it’s not stupid if it works. See tip #2 and BUY A HAMPER WITHOUT A LID.
6) If you are having trouble starting a task, break the task down further, sometimes the way I start a task is just by going “Ok step 1) stand up-“ and so forth. Don’t worry about the task as a whole just take it one step at a time.
7) If you’re halfway through a task and have to stop, leave it out. All this, “Put things away when you’re done with them.” is bullshit. you will be much more likely to finish the task if restarting it is easier because you left it out plus it’s a visual reminder. You can also create faux deadlines like “I gotta finish this project before my friend comes over on tuesday because after I finish it I can clean off the dinner table.” etc.
8) It’s okay to outsource tasks and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, humans are designed to ask for, and to require help (what do babies do when they’re first born?? cry for help!!) ask for help and receive help without shame, if it makes your life better, you are WINNING.
9) If you have one big overwhelming task that you think you need to get done before anything else, but you feel motivated to do other tasks, do those other tasks first, it’s okay. Otherwise in all likelihood (at least in my case) you’ll put everything off until the last minute and then have to do said overwhelming task and those other tasks won’t get done at all. Doing those smaller tasks also lowers the mental load and you can use them as a motivation launch pad to tackle bigger things.
10) If you notice you tend to not put something away/forget to do something, perhaps consider moving and storing the item closer to where it ultimately ends up or where you are more likely to see it. For example, my makeup, pills, and mail are all stored on my desk because that’s where I tend to do my makeup, take my pills and deal with my mail. I used to store my pills in my bathroom medicine cabinet but all too often I would forget because they weren’t in my line of sight. Now that they’re on my desk, I have multiple chances per day to pass by them, go “oh I gotta take those.” and take them.
11) Open storage, open storage, OPEN STORAGE.
12) Motivation can look like all kinds of things. sometimes the only reason I get out of bed is because I remember I have a fun snack and I get to go eat it if I get up. It’s okay to lean into those simple “animal-brain” type motivators, you’ll eat because then you can use that fun new kitchen gadget you got a daiso? Neat. you’ll shower because then you can paint your nails that fun new color you got? Fantastic. You’ll go to the dmv and do that annoying thing because you’ll take yourself out for boba after? Superb. Lean-IN to those small motivators, they aren’t stupid or childish, they are VITAL.
13) Don’t buy into the cult of “if it’s worth doing, do it properly” it’s guaranteed to set you up for failure. If it’s worth doing, do it in whatever capacity you are able to. I put sunscreen on once a day because that’s fucking better than not doing it at all and I sure as all hell will fail at reapplying it multiple times a day. If it’s worth doing, do it half-assed babieeee.
Go forth and prosper!!! xoxo ✌️🩵
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Gale x Tav Kissing Headcanons
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A/N: The patch 6 announcement has me back on my bullshit. I know I write a lot for Astarion, but this stupid wizard has my heart too. Here’s to hoping we get to make out with him soon.
Gale’s kisses come in stages
Obviously for a long time he’s very concerned about the orb and getting too excited, as it were
Even after the orb is stabilized and you have your first night together, some part of him thinks he’s getting away with something
The kisses shared between you are fleeting, but tender
While he adores your lips, he’ll just as happily kiss your hand or the top of your head, really any place he can reach
He wants to stay, even if it’s just the barest kiss you can sense it pains him to pull away, but you have other things to do
If he pushes his luck, maybe you’ll be the one to pull away first; he knows he can be a bit…much
The longer your together, the less hesitant he is
All he really needs is for you to pull him back into a deeper kiss a few times in a row for him to get the message
Once he has your permission, it’s nearly impossible for him to keep his hands off you
He still feels like he’s getting away with something, that at any second you’re going to realize he’s not enough or maybe the orb comes back or honestly just the daily dangers you have on your journey are going to tear you away, but instead of bracing for rejection, it just makes him hungry
He starts kissing you like it’s the end of the fucking world, but, in his defense, it kind of is
Even soft kisses come with hands cupping your face as he sharply inhaled your scent
He also can’t help but steal a few more, as if making up for lost time
Kisses after a fight are positively indecent
We already know he gets horny, but knowing he can touch you after makes him practically vibrate
He has enough self control to wait until your properly healed and back at camp, but not enough to wait until after you bath before he’s pulling your some place private and kissing the air right out of your lungs
That’s not to say every kiss leads to something more, only that he’s less reserved in putting all his love and adoration into every touch
He worships you, let him worship you
The feeling can be addicting, but it’s also something you might need to work on with him
Everybody wants to be loved, but being truly in love you need to be a partner, not a goddess on a pedestal
Your mortal and so is he, you don’t need worship, you just need him
And when he finally gets that into his thick skull you find him kissing you in all new ways
Without the threat of the Elder Brain or the crown, Gale finally feels like he has time
He still can’t keep his hands off you, but there is a warm security in it
He’s not afraid your going to pull away
He can kiss you slowly, savor the taste as he smiles against your lips
He can tease you and know you’ll just laugh and pull him back again
His finds he loves kissing your shoulders and the back of your neck as he simply holds you from behind for no other reason than because he can
Even when he finds himself distracted by grading papers or some new discovery, he’ll reach out for your hand, bringing it to his lips to make sure you know he knows your there
He starts to plan his mornings allowing for at least an extra fifteen minutes to get out of bed because how can he be expected to get anything done before he’s properly kissed you awake
Maybe things will teeter off later down the line, his colleagues have teased him more than once about the honeymoon phase
But even years down the line, he can’t see himself slowing down
Honestly the fact that it’s expected for people to be less in love with their spouse after their married is something he can’t find himself ever understanding (skill issue)
He doesn’t kiss you like it’s the end of the world, he kisses you like the world is going to keep on spinning, that time is going to keep moving forward and the best way he knows how to spend it is with you
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prosciuttulipa · 7 months
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Period Pain, Go Away
how the JJK men help you through your period
content: afab reader x jjk men, just fluff this time! brief dirty joke in Toji's one (because he's Toji), but every one of them is a good boi in their own way <33
a/n: on my period and am in much pain v_v i can't decide who i want to comfort me, so i'm writing for all of the men i want
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Gojo Satoru who isn't just your boyfriend during your period, but a "girl's girl". He wants to spoil you with desserts and eat the leftovers that you can't finish, do face masks with those cute cucumber slices over the eyes. You want a bath? He's already drawing one, dunking in bath bombs till the water looks like a small galaxy, putting on your comfort show so you can watch it while you soak.
Dealing with pain through fun and smiles has always been his way of coping. So, yes—maybe he does look a bit silly, gossiping with you while you paint sparkles onto his nails, his hair tied up with a pink scrunchie. But what's a boyfriend for, if not to be your Ken doll during your time of need?
It hurts him more than he likes to admit, to see you wince at a bad cramp, or come out of the bathroom with the colour drained from your cheeks. When you can't manage anything more than lying in your bed, he'll rest his head against your stomach, peppering kisses wherever it hurts. "Be good to my girl," he'll jokingly threaten your uterus, poking your tummy gently, "she deserves the world."
Geto Suguru who knows your period is coming before you do. Your irritable mood and food cravings clue him in, and he takes action without saying a single word.
The day your period starts, you realise that the feminine products you usually use have been fully restocked without your notice. The fridge is filled with your period cravings, enough to last a week. Before you can even say anything, a large hand wraps around your waist and presses a hot water bottle against your abdomen. "Good morning, princess," he greets you like he hasn't just pulled off what can only be described as a small miracle, "is everything to your liking?"
You don't know whether to laugh or cry at how perfectly he's predicted you. He's a step ahead of you throughout your entire period, knowing which snack or act of affection you want just by your expression. Some might call his behaviour unreasonable; frankly, he thinks it's bullshit. "Attention, taken to its highest degree, is the same thing as prayer," is what he quotes, when you ask him why he's so observant. "What makes you think I do not absolutely and utterly worship you?"
Nanami Kento who is obviously written by a woman, and so does not flinch when he sees the blood on the bedsheets when he wakes up earlier than you. Instead, he kisses you good morning till you're giggling, distracting you so you don't get a chance to see the stains. He changes the sheets while you're in the bathroom, throwing them in with the rest of the laundry. When you come back out, worrying you dirtied the bed, he merely shrugs. "I didn't see anything, darling."
He treats you like a queen on the daily, but during your period, you're his empress. Each word is law, each action his cue to immediately come to your aid. He'll cook every meal, and won't let you hold the spoon to feed yourself if he can help it. As far as he can see, your only responsibility this week is to lounge around, and let him spoil you rotten.
He thinks it's a crime that you still have to go to work, when you have to pop painkillers with your breakfast just to make it through the day. "I can take care of you, you know," he'll inevitably murmur, kissing the shell of your ear, "I make enough money to support us both. Take the day off, dearest. They don't need you more than I do."
Toji Fushiguro who manages to piss you off on the first day of your period. "What size pussy you wear?" he calls to ask, when he's picking up your feminine products at the corner store, "gotta make sure I take care of that kitty for all the squeezin' she does on me."
When he gets back home and finishes getting an earful on how you're more than just his pocket pussy, he apologises by scooping you up in his arms. "You know you're more than just a good fuck, doll," his words carry a rare sort of honesty, coming from him. "You're a good woman. My woman. Gun's in the second drawer, sweetheart—shoot me if I ever do wrong by you."
His touches turn softer, the smack to your ass replaced with a squeeze on the hip, kisses on your shoulders. He's got a hand on you at all times, just rubbing idle circles against your stomach or lower back to soothe your cramps. When bedtime comes, he makes you lay on your tummy, massaging away the tension in your muscles until you're all nice and pliant. He may not always know what to say, but he'll be damned if his actions make you feel like he doesn't love you.
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cvntluver444 · 1 month
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i’m your girl - ellie williams
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ellie 📸 creds - s9ession on pinterest (and tiktok)
ellie williams x reader, slight!abby x reader
₊* summary : after catching your girlfriend cheating on you, your best friend ellie offers a little more than some much needed quality time together.
₊* warnings : smut minors dni, language, cheating, dom!ellie 🤭 sub!reader, light spanking, abby and ellie tensionnnn, slight ellie x cat, reader uses she/her pronouns, intended lowercase, bad writing, not proof read. if i miss any please let me know!! 🤍
₊* a/n : EEEEK hi everyone! this is my FIRST EVER FIC! don’t be fooled though, i’ve been apart of this lovely community for years and have loved reading all of your lovely works!! i really wanted to try and give this a shot because im a hoe and i have some crazy thoughts that i think need to be shared (this one really isn’t crazy this is like the third thing i’ve written so we are going to ease into it 🫡)
anyways i am so excited to share my first fic! it would mean the world if you guys left some positive feedback or constructive criticism so i know how to grow!! i’m also looking for new friends since i don’t post on here so if you want to be friends hmu 😋 i love you all!! again i hope beauties enjoy!!
🇵🇸 as always, please keep spreading information and support for Palestine! 🇵🇸
▹ daily click
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
walking back from a study sesh, your bubbly laugh fills the halls of dorm as your best friend her story of a disastrous hookup.
“oh my god, ellie. that would happen to you,” you huff out, trying hard to calm yourself down. ellie chuckles while smiling down at you. “i can’t believe cat said a different name!” you couldn’t stop you laughter as ellie explained the awkward interacting with cat. your laugh was her favorite sound in the whole world, which is why she always loved to tweak her stories just a bit. she knew just about everything about you, so of course she knew what made you come undone in a fit a laughter. so maybe cat didn’t actually say someone else’s name. maybe ellie said someone else’s name. maybe she said your name. but you don’t have to know that.
“yeah ya know” she shrugs a bit and pauses. “maybe she just isn’t right for me,” ellie shrugs nonchalantly. “anyways, is abby gonna be in the room?” ellie questions.
“yeah hope that’s okay with you, i didn’t tell her we were coming back so early so she will probably just be in our room and out somewhere,” you explain, as you reached for your dorm room keys. living with your girlfriend in the same dorm room would have some calling you a bit risky, but you never had any doubts with your relationship with abby. you’ve been together for a year now, you trusted her, she treated you good, and you were even kind of starting to picture your life together. however; that daydream becomes a distant afterthought as soon as you open the door of your dorm room. in front of you is your, now ex-girlfriend, naked and on top of none other than the infamous cat who ellie has talked your ear off about.
“what the fuck” you whisper out, your voice coming out raspy as your eyes quickly start swelling up with tears and your throat swells up. abby and cats giggles soon turn into gasps and their heads fly towards your direction. you feel ellie come to your side and put her arm on your back. “why don’t we just step outside quick, baby,” ellie sadly begs you, her voice full of sympathy, but also anger. how could anyone take advantage of such a beautiful girl. her gaze lands right on a worries looking abby who is rushing to put her clothes back on.
“baby no wait look please just give me a sec let me explain it’s not what it looks like,” abby rambles out a bullshit story but you can’t hear anything around you. your tears now rapidly falling.
“what- what- what the fu-fuck abby!” at this point, you can’t control any emotions. it’s impossible to try and stop any tears now. you’re defeated, hurt, and feeling betrayed. you quickly spew out a few choice words at the two girls rushing to get dressed, but slowly relax and fall into the tall body next to you. she gently grabs your arm and drags you out the door, whispering apologizes and begging for you to focus on her as you still throw some daggers at abby. finally clothed, abby forgets all about the girl she was just fingers deep in and rushes out the door towards you.
“hey hey hey please just wait please” abby calls your name as ellie continues to guide you towards her dorm. you can’t even look at her as you continue to cuddle into ellie, who’s arm is gently placed around your figure, shielding you from your panicking ex.
“just fuck off abby you’ve done enough give her some space” ellie turns to yell towards the blonde who’s still right on your tail.
“you can shut the fuck up and stay out of this williams” abby barks back. “this is between me and her, and the last time i checked, she wasn’t your girlfriend.” ellie’s hearts cracks a little at the sentence, wanting none other to call you hers.
“well after the way you just cheated on her, i don’t think she will be yours very soon either,” ellie smirks. abby and ellie get pretty angry pretty fast, spewing out nasty things about each other and who can treat you the best. you were going to go insane. all you wanted to do in this moment was cry.
“ellie?” suddenly, ellie stops at the soft voice that just called her name. she saw you, teary-eyed, staring at her with the most heartbroken look on her face. her eyes softened and jaw unclenched. her heart broke at the sight of you, but still could not get over the fact that you still looked angelic. “can we please go?” you didn’t even have to ask ellie twice. she nodded her head and gave you a quiet ‘of course’ with a sympathetic smile on her face, but didn’t leave without staring the girl in front of her down. she then turned towards you and flung her arms over your shoulder. leaning her head on yours, you two walked together back to ellie’s room.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
the usual 5-minute walk back to ellie’s dorm felt like hours as it become harder and harder to hold back your tears. ellie didn’t speak one word to you, she understood that all you wanted in this moment was to be silent, knowing that if you opened your mouth once, you would burst out into tears again.
as you two reached her room, she gave a soft “hold on baby” and slowly released her grip on yours so she could unlock her door. you two entered an empty room thanks to dina, ellie’s roommate, visiting jesse at his campus. as much as you loved dina, you were so thankful you could just be alone with your best friend and cry. as soon as you heard ellie shut the door, it was exactly what you did.
as soon as she heard your heartbreaking sobs, ellie quickly rushed over to your side and engulfing you with her toned arms. she shushed you quickly and rocked back and forth, doing everything in her power to try and somehow make your beautiful face smile again.
“i can’t fucking believe her” you finally speak up after several minutes of silence and sniffles. ellie looks over at you, startled after not hearing your voice in a while. “we were together for over a year, we were literally living together in the same fucking room, like, where does she think i’m gonna go now? i’m not living there anymore i fucking hate her!” your sadness has now turned into rage and your slowly growing louder as your rant goes on.
“hey hey hey,” ellie tried to calm you down. “don’t worry about all that now, okay baby? you’re gonna stay with me, and you me and dina are gonna have a big slumber party and have pillow fights and make cookies and talk about boys.” ellie’s joke works miracles and brings a small smile on your face and a little giggle reaches ellie’s ears.
“there she is,” ellie smiles. “i missed that beautiful laugh.” you can’t help but get a little flustered at her comment. now that you were done with abby, your relationship was quickly forgotten when you remembered just how much you were in love with ellie before. you always thought she was so beautiful, and of course she always treated you like a princess.
when you finally worked up enough courage to speak, a quiet “i’m sorry, ellie” left your lips.
“what are you apologizing for baby?” ellie asks you with a confused look on her face. in the moment of catch your girlfriend fucking another girl, you totally forgot all about your own best friend and her crush, and how she was probably going through the same emotions as you right now.
“i’ve been being so selfish. i’ve only been thinking about me and my relationship that i completely forgot about your obsession with cat” you sadly smile and give her an apologetic look. you remembered all the times that ellie would gush about cat with you
“cats skirt looks so good” ellie seductively says to you while you grab your things out of your locker. you glance over to where cat was talking to two other friends at a locker bay across from the two of you. it is pretty cute you thought to yourself. you frown looking down at yours. just a plain boring white skirt.
or that one time when you two were putting off studying in your deserted dorm room
“wait stop scrolling! there! yes! let’s watch that one.” you questioned her on her choice because it was your favorite movie too and you didn’t think she would ever like it, considering she laughed in your face when you told her about it. “oh um i know yo- um it’s cats favorite movie.” ellie saves herself from almost admitting to you that she may have done a little too much stalking that night and found out a couple of your favorite things.
or the night of the frat party, the night ellie’s compliment to cat broke your heart so much, you’d call it one of the worst nights of your life.
“ok now my turn stop hogging,” you giggle at ellie and she shoves you away from the blunt. she finally hands it over and take a hit. you look around at the view of campus from on top of the frat house. “it’s sooo pretty up here, els.” you giggle as you blow the smoke out. ellie chuckles with you and you two burst into laughing. “oh my god how high are we,” you squeak out “ellie look and tell me how red my eyes are.” you’re suddenly staring straight at ellie, and in her haze she lets out a small ‘woah’.
“i uh i mean uh-“ she stutters out as you question what she meant and furrowed your brows. “i mean i was just looking into your eyes and thinking about cat,” she spews out “you know she just has eyes just like yours,” your small smile falls suddenly and confused brows now turn downwards. “uh yeah cats eyes you know they’re like a beautiful uh” while ellie tries to think, she then stares at you again and describes your eyes. cat has eyes like mine? i could’ve sworn they were different. your cloudy mind is not sober enough to realize what’s actually happening, instead your heart breaks even more, thinking that ellie has probably stared into cats eyes so many times she’s pinpointed every detail about them. once you two tossed out the blunt over the roof, you headed back downstairs together. still hurt with ellie’s rambles, you quickly get away from her as soon as your in the clear, leading you to meet abby. why is the worst time if it led you to meet your girlfriend? well, before the cheating, you would’ve had no idea why.
ellie’s hand in front of your face brings you back to reality, which is not fun. ellie is still sitting next to you on the couch and you have to ask her to repeat what she said.
“i was asking what you were apologizing for, baby. you were the one that got cheated on, not me.” ellie chuckles, but slowly realizes what she said. she see your eyes drop down again and the sadness returns to your face. while she’s quickly trying to come up with something to say to save herself, she stops when you stand upnn
“is it ok if i go use your bathroom real quick?” you sadly ask ellie, and she nods with a small smile on her face. you give her a quiet thanks and walk towards the shared restroom of ellie and dina. ellie brings her hands to her head and scolds herself. if you’re trying to make her feel better and give her a hint, this is NOT the right way to do it. she couldn’t shove down her feeling forever, but she also did not want to confess and risk losing you completely. she tried to clear her mind and think about what dina or jesse would tell her to do in this situation. while trying to focus, she could hear you shuffling around in the bathroom. she knew why you were really in there, she wasn’t stupid. thinking about that just made her feel ten times more guilty. she knew what to do.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
as soon as you go into the bathroom you lock the door and force the tears welling in your eyes to go away. you decided to wash your face with cold water to try and snap yourself out of your emotional roller coaster. you dry your face with the hand towel and turn to look at yourself in the mirror. you were still in so much shock at the events that happened tonight. you take in your messed up appearance and cringe. your bloodshot red eyes were not a pretty sight, and neither was the smudged mascara scattered underneath your eyes. you hope ellie wouldn’t be too grossed out by the way you look right now.
huhhhh?
woah okay the feelings are for sure back. you try to get yourself to look less dead inside by washing your face a couple more times. you opened the bathroom door and slowly walked back out to the couch. you sit back down next to her and put a blanket around yourself, meanwhile she is mindlessly scrollings through netflix trying to find something to watch before she stops on none other than you (and cats) favorite movie.
“oh hey what about this one” she looks over at you with a little smile on her face. you give her a confused look as to why she suggested this one, knowing it was cats favorite movie too.
“but, ellie, won’t that make you, i don’t know, sad?” you question. now she’s the one giving you confused looks.
“why is it like a sad movie or something? i didn’t think it was. i thought we could watch it because it’s your favorite movie and i thought it would make you feel a little bit better,” she smiles back. now you’re even more confused. for starters, she told you it was cats favorite movie, and also, you don’t even remember telling her it was your favorite.
“how’d you know?” you asked her. she replied with a little huh and you asked again. “how’d you know this was my favorite movie? i don’t think i told you that, and i thought it would make you sad because you told me before it was cats favorite movie.” ellie’s face suddenly turns from confused, to scared almost. she stated stuttering and couldn’t form a single word.
after a couple second of struggling, ellie says your name. “it’s not cats favorite movie. i don’t even know cats favorite movie. in fact, i actually don’t know a lot about cat in general.” she looks at you with an almost scared look. now she just completely lost you. when she realizes you still haven’t caught on, she finally begins to explain what she means after a long pause.
“it was never cat”. the room suddenly gets loud, very loud. your ears start to ring and your breath leaves your throat. you couldn’t believe it, again. the whole time you were pushing away your feelings for ellie, she was trying to do the same with her feelings about you. suddenly, you start thinking back to all the moments when you thought ellie was crushing on cat. slowly, more dots start connecting.
you glance over to where cat was talking to two other friends at a locker bay across from the two of you. it is pretty cute you thought to yourself. you frown looking down at yours. just a plain boring white skirt. you’re not the only one looking though. if you would’ve turned around to face your best friend again, you would’ve seen her also looking at your ‘plain boring white skirt’, grateful that she quickly replaced ‘your skirt’ with ‘cat’.
or that other night, after the blunt, when you were crying your eyes out to abby. ellie kicking herself outside and hoping, praying even, that you wouldn’t know the actual color of cats eyes, and that maybe you were even dumb enough to not know the specific details of your own (you were).
you wish you could go back and slap the old you in face, that way, you and ellie could’ve avoided this whole abby and cat mess and could’ve been together longer than you and abby ever would’ve been. now you’re staring up at, after she just confessed her feelings for you. you didn’t know what to say, well you did, you wanted to say that you felt the exact same was and you have since the day you met her, but you’re too slow so she keeps explaining to you.
“i’m sorry to bring it up, but when we walked in today, my heart broke. it didn’t break because i saw cat with another girl. it broke because i saw her with your girl, and i never knew anyone would ever be that fucking stupid to throw away someone as gorgeous, generous, and as selfless as you,” she pauses and you cry again for the millionth time tonight; however, this time the tears feel good. happy tears. she continues and says your name in the softest tone possible. “so again, it was never cat. it was you.”
“abby is not ‘my girl’” you cringe. ellie looks up at your quick response. “i always kind of hoped it was you.” you break apart your words, still scared to admit how you feel even though she just spilled her heart out. the response you got back though washed all your worries away.
“can i kiss you?” she asked quietly. you couldn’t believe it (x3). it was finally happening. every single event that happened up to this very moment has vanished from your mind. all you could think about was how you couldn’t nod your head yes faster. she gives you a beautiful grin before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and gently gripping our chin to pull you closer. at last, your lips touched and it was everything you imagined and more. after you two slowly made out for a couple minutes, taking a couple paused to breathe in between, the kisses started turning more aggressive. you jump as you felt a soft touch on ur upper thigh. you relaxed once she placed her full hand on you and rubbed it up and down. you let out a soft moan which made ellie groan and trail kisses down your neck. you whined as you suddenly felt her pull back. her eyes looked right into your eyes, and she placed her forehead against yours. you two panted as you stared into each others sinful gazes. silence took over for a while before ellie suddenly interrupted.
“can i take you to bed baby?” you bit you lip and nodded, your innocent eyes locked on hers. fuck, you were perfect. it made ellie’s iris’ turn black, and she slowly guided you to her room, littering your face with teasing kisses on the way there. she sat you down on the edge of the bed and got on her knees, lips never leaving yours. her hands caressed your thighs once more, rubbing outwards so that your legs slowly separate. your lips follow as she pulls away to see your skirt has ridden up and she smirks, staring directly at your wet panties. “oh baby” she groans, her focus fully on your clothed pussy, begging to be touched. you lean back and tilt your head so you’re staring up at the ceiling, eyes squeezing shut and a moan leaving your mouth as soon as you feel small kisses going up you thighs. “love those fucking sounds, baby. you’re so angelic.”
“el’s. t-touch me,” you beg, but she light slaps your thighs and gives you a couple disappointments tsks.
“sweetheart, you gotta ask nicer.” she pouts up at you, malice in her voice.
“please, el’s, i need you to t-touch me please” you drag out, embarrassed that she has you this worked up and she’s barely touching you yet. she smirks up at you and her kisses get more sloppy the higher she goes, and finally, her mouth is hovering above your cunt, her hot breath purposely breathing heavy. she loved watching you whine and jolt under her touch. how crazy she made you go even with just a couple kisses. she loves how much control she has over you, and how well you listen to her.
“lift up your shirt, pretty girl. wanna see you play with your tits while i eat this pussy.” her words alone make you want to cum, but then it would be over, so you pull yourself together and do as she said. out of no where, you felt a long lick up you pussy, you body tightening suddenly and letting out a humiliatingly loud moan. “that’s right, baby. let me hear you. do i make you feel good? hm?” you shake your head vigorously, staring down into her green eyes staring right back up at you. she now loops her arms around your legs and spreads them further, making you squeak. “fuck, such a pretty fucking pussy,” she moans, and slowly starts licking up and down continuously.
you’re a mess. one hand gripping her hair, trying to push her even more into you, making ellie grunt, her own panties quickly getting wet at how bad you wanna cum. your other hand is placed perfect cupping your left tit, playing with it just like ellie told you to.
“el’s you’re gonna make me cum,” you whine, your eyebrows furrowed and voice raspy. you look so fucking sexy right now, and ellie tries her hardest to take a mental picture for later.
“yeah? you gonna cum baby?” she teasingly asks you and you whimper out a mhm. once again speechless with the way ellie is slopingly eating your pussy.
you suddenly feel a finger teasing your entrance before it slowly slips in. your moans groan louder, and her pace quickens.
“el’s, ca- can i please?” you beg, the knot in your stomach was growing rapidly. she lifted her head up for less than one second, a stern ‘cum’ leaving her lips, before she returns back to where her tongue was. you scream as you do, vision going black as ellie fucks you though your orgasm, fingers now rubbing even faster on your clit, causing you to completely come undone and cum all over her face. she doesn’t stop until you’re shaking and overstimulating under her. when she does, the only sounds in the room are your quick pants, and ellie’s bed as she moves to scoot closer towards you.
“woah,” you say, still trying to catch your breath. “that was..”
“way overdue” ellie chips in. the two of laugh and you move to lean you head on her shoulder. it’s silent again before you finally speak up.
“i don’t think i ever really thanked you for taking care of my today. i don’t think i would’ve been able to have this much fun today if it wasn’t for you,” you tell her and you feel her hands that were once in your hair, come around and lift your chin to give her a kiss m.
“you don’t need to thank me pretty girl, i wanted to take care of you.” her confession made your heart flutter. “plus i knew that maybe i might have a chance to finally fuck you,” she teases you and you hit her arm, jokingly sending her a scoff.
“you’re right by the way,” she finally adds on. you give her a confused look and hope she takes the hint to explain what she meant. “you’re not abby’s girl.”
“i’m not abby’s girl,” you repeat.
“you’re my girl,” she tells you, eyes never leaving yours, a small smile on her face.
“i’m your girl.”
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
₊* a/n : ahhhh i really hope you guys liked it! 🤍 if you did please let me know because it would mean the world!
love you soooooo much MUAH
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anantaru · 9 months
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What do you think about “Mean Bodyguard Blade?” And this is my first send you a ask🥺
cw. mean bodyguard blade, reader wears a dress + bratty reader, fem! reader
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bodyguard blade whose patience was always running thin whenever he had to put up with your sugarcoated "bullshit", as he referred to it— and you're wondering how long it will take tonight until he's losing his cool again.
keep in mind, he was in the right— because you can be such a little brat sometimes, with every intention hoping for an outcome like this, you're doing it on purpose and in your opinion there really was nothing better than seeing blade become terribly frustrated with you trying to see just how far you could push him until he snaps.
granted that he did like it, blade found himself downright mesmerized by the awful playfulness you made him go through on a daily.
bodyguard blade who can very well see the big droplets of tears slowly surface at the corners of your eyes when he presses you against the wall just after you managed to piss him off again— salty globules of crystallines boiling up and threatening to spill over until they'd end up slithering across your cheeks when he traps you against a cold wall, his muscular chest turning it impossible for you to find an escape route.
in all truth, how can he not entertain the lewd fantasy of punishing you for misbehaving?
when all you have done thus far was manage to turn him achingly hard, his dick wishing to just be inside of you that it burns him from the inside. it hurts so much, and blade knows you can take it, if you're doing your best and trying really hard.
would you be a little nicer to him as well? obviously after he forcibly turns you around and flips your dress up to expose your ass before smacking the flesh, feeling it jiggle underneath his palm, next to searching for your hole with his reddened tip so you could shut up for just a little while, yeah?
you're practically waiting for it, and the sudden stinging from his tip breaching through the soft patch of your hole shuts you up, only until he moves his hips forward with one single, deep snap— and you're arching your back and moaning his name unbearably filthy, focusing on the stretch of your tiny cunt.
you do not want to show him that you're enjoying it real good right now, also adore it when he's rendering you speechless with the size of his dick alone— because as natural as it was, you let your stubbornness kick in, "ahh— i don't feel anything.." you mumble under your breath, intentionally smug within your choice of tone.
you remind yourself that next time— you need to piss him off even more, because it's always a borderline delicious feeling when your bodyguard blade makes it his duty to remind you that, yes, he was employed by you and was supposed to be your protector— it still did not mean you were simply allowed to play violin with his nerves, nor turn him desperately hard when you're accidentally nudging your plush ass against his bulge or bite your bottom lip whenever he talks to you.
maybe even wear a skirt that was way too short for you, the fabric always exposing a slight outline of your behind.
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©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify
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brackishkittie · 3 months
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ex-factor, abby anderson
— toxic!abby anderson x black!reader
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synopsis: toxic abby headcanons because I’m having a really bad abby brainrot rn. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 ( I’ll probably make a full fic abt this later. )
c/n: very very nasty hate(?) sex, choking, slapping, strap riding, degradation, overstimulation, mirror sex, abby cussin you out, hair pulling, clit slapping. ( it’s alot I know..) she’s horrible tbh.
a/n: THIS SHIT TOOK SO FUCKING LONGGGG. I’ve been working on this shit for like maybe 6 months because I’ve been putting it off for so long but it was worth it…😞🙏🏾 (edit:) this was supposed to come out in 2023. ( INCONSISTENT ASS !!! )
daily click | ways to help palestine | important tlou post
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idea inspo: @beetlejuice-e ofc I gotta give my creds n inspo!! pls check out niyah’s works especially her toxic abby series!!
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✮ ˚ — toxic!abby who will surely text yo ass off a burner account on insta and if you don’t answer that? girl no caller id will definitely be callin you and cussin you out.
“who the fuck do you think you’re blocking?” her voice rings out on the other side of the screen. “abigail don’t play on my phone please..” you sigh loudly due to how sick of her bullshit you were. “oh I’m playin on it. unblock me.” she replies swiftly. “girl you not about to irritate me on MY phone. bye.” and you hang up. abby won’t back down though. she’ll be RELENTLESSSSS over that unblock. she’ll even post ts on her story talkin bout “unblock me.” ( obviously you’ll unblock her..but she annoyin asl!! )
✮ ˚ — toxic!abby who’ll be mad at you for posting you and your friend together. even if she has met said friend or knows them in general. she don’t gaf. she’ll slide up on the story with a “who’s that?” and you be like “that’s so and so” and then here go abby ass.. “why she so fucking close?? tell her move a bit.”
✮ ˚ — toxic!abby who comes to your house mad as hell because you didn’t pickup the phone after you two got into an argument. she’ll bang on your door and she won’t go away until you let her in. when you do let her in though, she’s cussing you out and you two get back to arguing. she’s all in your face and yelling at you for not answering and acting “bitchy”. you manage to push her away from you and walk into your room, but all she does is follow you into your room while still angrily screaming at you. “where the fuck are you going?” abby is absolutely livid and staring you down. “I’m trying to get away from you, abigail.” you respond with an obvious hint of annoyance. abby who doesn’t say a word and pushes you onto the wall, leaving barely any space between you two. “who the fuck are you talking to, y/n?.”
✮ ˚ — toxic!abby who loves it everytime you get surprised when she takes the initiative of grabbing you by your face and pushing her tongue deep into your mouth. her hands groping and smacking your ass. abby throws you onto the bed, already taking off her black t-shirt and signaling for you to take off your clothes. you knew the drill. it was a never ending cycle and you fell for it everytime. abby lifts your legs onto her shoulders and smiles as soon as her eyes fell onto your pretty pussy. “fucking slut. I barely did anything yet.” she said as you felt her fingers brush your clit. “I want you to keep your eyes on me. if you look away, you won’t be able to cum.” you nod and watch her slip two fingers into your wet cunt, watching her tongue putting in work. she sloppily eats you out like she’s been dreaming of it.
you shut your eyes and abby almost instantly slapped your clit, making your eyes fly open. “I said to keep your fucking eyes on me..” her nails dug deeper into your soft skin, she’s eating you out with such aggression and knowing that turned you on even more. you gripped her hair and bucked your hips. you felt yourself reaching your high and your eyes rolled back as your mouth fell open. “holy shittttt!— abby please..” you continued watching her tongue work in and out of you, her thumb rubbing at your sensitive clit, and her eyes shooting up at you making sure you were watching her like she told you to. you thought maybe she was just gonna go easy on you tonight because it was a small fight, right? “face down. ass up.” she said as she glared at you.
✮ ˚ — toxic!abby who loves seeing you take her strap, her eyes almost glued to the mirror as your ass bounced off her. abby fucking the anger out of you so well that you nearly forgot why you were so mad at her. abby taps your face lightly when she sees you basically go blank for a second. “don’t pass out on me now baby. you had all that fuckin mouth for me earlier.” she stuffs two fingers into your mouth and you finally find the energy to let out some form of words. “too fucking muchhh! fuck..!” your mouth agape when you feel abby fucking into you deeper. “so fuckin nasty..” she grins and reaches for your hair, pulling and tugging at it while picking up her pace as she drilled the strap into you. you were too fucked out to even speak at this point. your head was spinning, your thoughts were scrambled, and your heart was racing. abby pulled her fingers out of your mouth and looked at you in the mirror, “look at me in the mirror, pretty. are you ready to apologize?” abby tilted her head. she knew everything was her fault but for her to apologize for it? hell no. “fuck you abigail.” you responded quickly as she miserably pounded into you. her grin was completely wiped off her face in an instant once you said that.
✮ ˚ — toxic!abby who found amusement in you riding her strap. your body clearly tired and about to give out but all she does is plant kisses on your tits and grope them, sucking and licking your tender nipples. “abby please..I’m sorry! no more! I can’t- take it.” you’re losing it at this point. you’ve reached a new point of ‘fucked out’ and abby was gonna use that shit to her advantage. “say it again.” abby stared at you intently — she knew exactly how to make you forget about everything and that was through the movement of her hips. “I love you a lot baby, you gotta stop making me mad..” she purred at you with a subtle smirk on her face. “oh my god.” you pant out, wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling yourself closer to her. you place your chin onto her shoulder and continue to roll your hips, bouncing on her strap needily. you can sense yourself reaching your high once again as you dug your nails into her skin. she snakes her hand around your waist and whispers to you softly, “deep breaths baby, let it out. cmon.” abby coos as she talks you through through your orgasm, rubbing your back ever so gently.
✮ ˚ — toxic!abby whose way of aftercare was to clean you two up, cuddle you, and maybe..subtly gaslight you into believing that you’re the reason she acts the way that she does. she’s treating you as if you were delicate almost like a small bubble. abby knew that you being devoid of energy, her being so gentle with you, and talking to you with the most smoothest and kindest voice she could put on, you would fall for it. you had your head on her chest, basking in her scent and letting her delude your thoughts like it was nothing. abby knew it was wrong. did she feel bad? in another universe maybe. she just wanted you to herself. “you know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, right? I love you so much baby.” she said to you sweetly. all you could to is hum in response while you smiled at the affection that she was showing you. to you and abby, this was just another friday..but to your friends…that’s its own story for another day.
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tags: none cs I’m js clearing drafts out. 🧘🏾 🎀
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