#pysch engine

[lookingjuliaup]

Well well well, if it isn’t lil ole me on tumblr again you know what I’ve realized , that if I would of blogging on YouTube I probably would have been viral cause I used to write all the time and around the same time that YouTube became really famous . There’s a lot I have on the internet . I gotta talk about my regular life though . So I got out the pysch ward probably like a little half over a year and I Gave my life to God he has been the light that has guided me through the tunnel . I let my mom be my guardian and she’s in charge of mostly everything I do and all the decisions I make , I trust God and my mom because I now she would never let anything bad happen to me . Nowadays I spend my free time in cooking classes , guitar classes , mediations classes , I’m going to school currently for audio engineering which I graduate in November and also August I start school for law . I’m truly honored and excited for every step of the way . Whatever challenges I have in the next semester may God guide the way … I’m going through my divorce and the end is coming my last court date is in Aug … we’ll just wanted to say hi to everyone I love you guys have a great day

[freeworldallahexecutivembaclass]

Children with special needs proposal law

Proposal of law for Children's mental health hospitals , clinics and schooling tutoring services and resources needed to level the playing field so children with special needs can compete at an pace with normal society like nurture and teach them to normality in their grades academic achievement scholastic testing and making into advanced courses sort of like catch them up with society's best thinkers scientists , lawyers , doctors , supervisors , engineers , mayoral candidates , governors The reason I propose this law because I was a special needs child myself and my disabilities was auditory hallucinations . This was because I was in elementary school I couldn't focus on the school work so in result I got all poor grades and the teachers tried but could not really reach me , that happened to kids teasing me calling me ugly , fat , dirty and stinkie . The problem is that becomes all you can hear instead of instructions from the teacher it becomes my focus what the other kids was saying about me instead of learning vocabulary words it wasn't until college that I got an A in my vocabulary reading comprehension class but I couldn't learn I was stuck I couldn't learn math and the formulas and basic English forget about it and yeah that is a difficult subject get an English course in school and see what I mean it's even difficult for English speakers but it shows you have to enjoy working hard to learn those subjects . I had hard time learning because the teasing and tearing me apart was more important or more of my audio in my head what was going on my psych all I heard was those names that the other kids called me you know the bad things like ugly , nasty and dirty . What I'm proposing is tutorial services for kids that are hard to reach like I was and mental health counselors being hired in public schools looking after these kids pysch and teaching the kids coping skills and also the parents so they know how to help their children . Special technology give the schools new equipment assisted learning equipments more teachers instructors mental health counselors in the kids school now computers desks and new updated books that helps the kids learn better and faster whether that is audio , visual and extra attention and instructions in classrooms .

Also

The shelter cleansing hygienic act for the people act

To add on this law proposal is the Public mental and Physical Hygiene act where each public institutions offer homeless clients a care package with soap , shampoo 🧴, body washes and toothbrush and tooth pastes to help that client clean themselves thoroughly that creates a contract with fresh scent products and have that house manager and security guards offer those clients to a shower the reason why is because shelters , jails and hospitals are often dangerous environments they are scared of the other clients and drug use and violence in those environments and those clients are neglecting to washing themselves and their clothes it can be as simple as the house manager and security guards putting on some gloves and grabbing the clients belonging and taking them to the laundry facility and washing their clothes for them separating washing and folding that clients clothing thus teaching them structure, order organizational skills and cleanliness this keeps their building clean and it better helps clean their neighborhoods of unwanted problems this in turn can provide more jobs for counselors , security guards and maintenance people male and female workers to work in and help clean up the shelter , prison and hospital environment and any other public buildings in said depressed environments we clean up our neighborhoods together . This will help the more hiring of care takers such as security guards and the house manager on duty they should make it a law to make sure the clients are taking showers eating their fruits and vegetables and are resting in a safe and clean environment security guards and house managers and counselors are put in a professional situation to better take care of their environment institution and neighborhoods presenting a much better fragrance of the clients and their institutions and truly extending beyond their job description to truly care for another human being .Just to add on that law proposal the security guard which is the first point of contact for a client should look at those clients eyes to see if they are intoxicated even with slight intoxication ask that client is he okay and do he or she needs any medical attention this prevents death or a client slipping into a coma due to their heavy drug use not to mention the Narcan training they should detect through slurred speech dilated pupils and swaying of body movements their too many 🦺 emergency room visits due to drug overdose and early deaths because of drug use and alcohol abuse in places like this socially and economically depressed environments causes drug abuse alcohol abuse violence depression social schizophrenia and way too many early deaths because of drug overdose and it is so easy to prevent that by training our staff the security guards , house managers and the counselors and treatment facilities and referrals to Access Vocational rehabilitation counselors for the client after their detoxifying and rehabilitation period in those treatment center .

Like I said I had fun helping I'm retired from political and social commentaries and moved on with my life and new movie and my training Big George Foreman I got for free from my free movie app and shout out to Forrest Whitaker playing the role of Jay Z , thanks I got a lot of work to do and wish me good luck he said if you work hard enough I can get the deal like he tell all of his artists and I want it I do and to be a great American story for all crowds and audiences from all walks of life and backgrounds all I know is learning and training , portion control I do calories count like I try to not eat more calories than I burn off my body walking does it , jogging and cross training machines and the bike use those to help you but light walking does help you just gotta do it almost everyday and lighten your portion of your food you could do your daily walk it helps reverse cancer and other cardiovascular diseases like heart problems and you dying in your sleep because it gets the blood flowing and the blood cleanses the toxics oils and grease stuck in fatty tissue sweat flushes it out , water is good for you and yes to wash your skin with so you smell good drinking it to push toxics out and those books cleanses an hasty spirit especially for mr and sister know it alls you ain't heard nothing until you got those books on cap your brain cabasa and you live it out good luck in life and don't forget to exercise some form of light exercise and strength building to live a long prosperous life , goodbye 🫂 wish me luck . Thank you to 50 Cent the rapper and entrepreneur for sponsoring this page and all the people that take the time to be a better example and role model for people that need that kind of help thank you .

I actually moved on from my prison experience everybody that knows me I was put in a cell and was tortured I moved on from it the prison officials have destroyed the tapes of audio and any video footage of my time spent there in city jail and state penitentiary and I'm asking them to do that now I was a like puppet there so no provide no access to the those tapes plus the songs I was kicking wasn't all that so it is not worth it yeah the industry could back off those old tapes and focus more on who I am today because what those forced situations like the bad of society other people versus me the good fighter good faith and the good faith like that crowd that deal with institutions is not my crowd and it wasn't then I moved on I'm talented tenth now according to Taylor Swift and I run with that I mix with a diverse crowd now that particularly don't do crime and is trying to be good people even I do sympathize with them I myself don't do crime I don't hate in fact I help pass laws to be their lawyer nowadays but I moved on from the rabble rousers crowd definition of rabble if you will I own a building a fifth avenue New York and it's library don't forget to come visit us and bring your family you will enjoy your self

Watch out Donald Trump my movement is doing very good now

I'm on 5th Avenue in the heart of New York City now

My gift 🎁 from Nicki Minaj the female rapper from her Young Money Crew thank you Nicki I got my own library in New York City in the heart of New York City thanks to her thank you Nicki it is the greatest gift somebody has ever given me thank you it is pleasing to me to be able to have a library that host after school programs for the kids and storytelling fun with their teachers and parents with Barney the dinosaur type characters to make the kids laugh and enjoy their selves that is a blessing for me coming from where I come from I had a rough life I grew up in Harlem New York City running the streets but I kept my nose in a book and part of that reason is because my mom was in college she would have tons of books on her bed and I fell love in books because of her she went to Monroe College in the Bronx and got her degree and even worked for the Board of Education for awhile and I got my love of books from her and to see that they give me a library is beautiful to me I know she is proud of me I made something of myself reading books I learned my way in anyway the library have costume animals Barney the dinosaur type costume animals for the kids to make them laugh and enjoy life is a blessing for me and it is in my building thank you I'm honored New York City and yes it is in the same building that I got my GED from in 2003 so I had already been going their for awhile they gave to me in 2022 thank you New York City and it's on 40th street and 5th Avenue right next to Grand Central and Times Square New York City and the same block wow as the Joel Osteen store so go get some Coffee ☕ and bagels and enjoy your day , their programs to help people returning to work , Cafe on the seventh floor outside rooftop so you could watch New York 5th Avenue like the empire state building and their are regular programs special instructors from any career is their to teach and instruct you on how to get where you would want to be in life it is so so clean the water fountains are the new ones where you place your bottle under some kid of water dispenser and it fills your bottles you could stand there and get as much refills as you want self service sanitized napkins to wipe your area where you are going to be reading I own the building so I eat at my seat the security guards is very professional that is their brand professionalism and high quality service with a smile they greet you warmly and treat you like you are at home it's mines so it is your home of course I'm like yeah yeah whatever but you would love it there make it a tourist attraction when you come to New York City I left school early I wish I didn't but the library is to give me a new start to learn all the on the job skills I need to excel in my career and it is there for you to hang out have fun meet some good people all New Yorkers are really good people and watch movies listen to music and to learn anything you want to make it there and enjoy yourselves .

Good book please go get this book this is my partner my friend big brother and a father figure of mines a role model and some one to take off your hat too and model yourself to want to be like him thank you Governor Andrew Cuomo Diamonds is my mood forever video is speaking on me and him the Governor and the program to help the community where we are from and we did a great job together I actually have it now his book no lie I have my own book of his thank you Governor Andrew Cuomo I just got it yesterday and is reading the book in my room with me now like I said me and Cuomo legalized marijuana together in New York City on March 31st , 2021 and remember to say no to drugs if it is not for you and I already spoke to the men and women that is going to be apart of that lifestyle on being more responsible in an earlier post on this page you have to scroll to find it about them more responsible with the use and possession of it around kids and their future like be careful so they do not lose their privilege of the law I put in place on March 31st , 2021 so that law makers don't try to shut them down just be respectful and careful and we boosted the base salary for workers in New York City so we pushed it further their is more money in the New York State economy he gave me my own hospital symbolizing the job I'm doing here on this page right here and left a job skills education program for me to follow apart from my liberal arts education thank you Governor Andrew Cuomo .

[1-dum-bitch]

So you're mildly interested in The 100 but it's garbage and you just want the goods of fanfic?

said no one ever. but here we go

Cheater article

1900s : Mount Weather Emergency Operations center is constructed in the Blue Ridge Mountains in the United States as a military bunker.

2051 : Scientist Dr. Becca Franco, created an AI A.L.I.E. (Applied Lucent Intelligence Emulator), but turns out the AI is a eugenicist and subscribes to the thought of overpopulation, and that the greatest threats to humans (the mystery she was created to solve) is humans. Franco shuts that shit down. She retreats to her personal space station, Polaris, to continue studying, where she created a new A.I. dubbed A.L.I.E. 2 (and only compatible with a special blood compound she also created, called nightblood)

2052 : A.L.I.E. launches a worldwide nuclear strike to “save the human race” due to its calculation that there were “too many people.” She set out to solve the world’s overpopulation problem by eliminating enough of the human race to save the rest.

2054 : October 1st, the first Unity Day. 13 separate space stations from 12 separate nations (plus Franco’s) are trying to ride out the apocalypse that’s happening on the surface. The 12 stations are way too sus about Franco and how she made ALIE and Alpha Station shoots Polaris down. With her fall, the remaining 12 join as one and create The Ark - the supposed last bastion of human survivors.

PYSCH. Franco didn’t die with the rest of her station, she jettisoned in a little pod, shot up with Nightblood and having shoved ALIE 2.0 into the back of her neck at her brain stem (ALIE 2 being an implanted AI to better understand human emotions, unlike its predecessor who was a stand alone AI). She crashes to earth with the rest of the superhuman blood- i mean, nightblood, and tries to help the ppl who survived on the surface (everyone in space thought everyone else died). Her story becomes the legend of the First Commander and her technology becomes the foundation of the Grounder society, with the Nighblood passing through Grounders. A.L.I.E. 2.0 becomes "The Flame," a chip passed down and implanted through the generations of Grounder leaders called Commanders, which contains the memories of all Commanders before them.

2100-2149 : On the Ark, Abigail Griffin, Marcus Kane, Thelonius Jaha, Charles Pike are born and live in humanity's post-apocalyptic society in space.

The generation below them also grows up on the Ark, including Clarke Griffin, Bellamy and Octavia Blake, Monty Green, Raven Reyes, John Murphy, Jasper Jordan, Harper McIntyre, Finn Collins, Nathan Miller, and Wells Jaha, all of whom will make their way to Earth at the start of the series with the Delinquents.

On Earth, the Grounders become the descendants of Earth's human survivors, developing new languages, faith, and customs foreign to the pre-apocalypse world. 12 Grounder Clans emerge, as well as societies of nomadic grounders.

OK done with the condensed and relevant version of that article, now to the important plot.

Clarke is MC

Mom: Abby, head of medical clinic

Dad: Jake, head of engineering or smn

Chancellor: Thelonius Jaha

Wells: Chancellor’s son, clarke’s bff

Because they’re all part of the Elite Alpha Station, they don’t get a lot of acceptance from the others that are essentially considered lower class by default, so they tend to band together very clichishly 

There are limited resources on the Ark, obvs, so shit like one kid only rule, food rations, recycling of  goods (like clothes), etc. That also means that all “crimes” are super detrimental and get you floated… into space. Death penalty style. Unless you’re a minor, then you get incarcerated until you’re 18 when you go through a revision and maybe you’re let back into populace or maybe they float you anyway

So

Jake finds out the Ark’s oxygen scrubbing system is in catastrophic failure. Like not just a little glitch but full failing. And there’s nowhere to run in space, so he tells Abby and suggests they tell everyone so everyone can be in on the decision of what to do moving forward. Abby is hesitant, and they bring it up to Jaha (Thelonius is Jaha, Wells is Wells) who immediately shoots it down - mass panic and all that. Jake still presses that they should Let The People Know and while that who whatever is going down, Clarke hears her dad talking about it. She stresses over it, confides in Wells about it, and then her father is floated for treason (recording a video he intended to release to the public about the failure). She is 17 and so they toss her in the Skybox (juvy) but gen pop gets visitation with the outside, so they put her in solitary for the rest of her sentence so she can’t blab.

Just before her 18th (revision hearing anticipated), guards bust in and haul her out. She flips, thinking they’re floating her early, probably starting in the Skybox to save on oxygen. But no, she sees her mom for a sec and she explains they’re sending down the kids in a dropship to test if earth is safe. It’s not projected to be for another few generations, but clarke knows there’s a time crunch. she knows the real why. They zap her and she wakes up on the dropship, descent already starting, and there’s… Wells? Goody Two Shoes Chancellor’s Son? the only other person she told about her dad. wtf yanno. He confesses to her he got arrested to get sent down on the Dropship with her. ok but didn’t you sell out her dad? Question Mark?

They have monitoring cuffs to relay their vitals to the Ark to see just how toxic earth is now. There’s supposed to be a radio but it gets fried in the rough landing. They go out and WOW EARTH! But they were supposed to be dropped on Mount Weather, uninhabited maybe, but should still be stocked with pre-war goodies. they’re also horny, stupid, delinquent teens so they just start dicking around and taking off their wristbands (fuck the Ark, they don’t get to know about us, they sent us on a suicide mission) and clarke is like. Hello? The Ark is dying. Pissbaby (Bellamy Blake) is like so what. Whatever the hell we want. And clarke is like uhhhhh do you know farming like the aptly named Farm Station? Do you know medicine? Tell me what you do know. Oh right, you were training to be a guard to keep your sister (a second child *gasp*) safe, you both got caught, she was iced, you got demoted to a janitor, and then the head of the guards was like “shoot jaha and i’ll get you on that dropship” and so you did. What a Big Bad Boy. boring. But he knows how to appeal to the rest of the delinquents, and so he’s effective.

So they try to actually survive (food, water, shelter, under clarke’s direction mostly) because maybe they don’t hate everyone on the Ark. clarke gets some of them to head out towards mount weather, just to see what they could benefit from. but on their way there, one of them gets speared. Holy shit there are people living on the ground! And then the rest of them get their ass in gear and try to actually survive. people start dying, surprise surprise, they get panicked by the threat of people already established on the land they were told was their birthright and by the fact that they’re woefully underprepared. also Super Charming Space Walker Finn is hitting on clarke and she’s kinda into it because wow. hormones. there’s also this acid fog that rolls through sometimes and boils the skin off their bones. 

One time, she’s running from it with Finn and Wells and they find an old, mostly buried car to hide out in.

Canonically, she hops in with them to flirt and brood and drink.

Canonically, she goes with them back to the rest of the delinquents and the Dropship.

Canonically, she is Skaikru (the Grounder word for People Of The Sky) and is treated as such.

But also like. Canon is garbage anyway

And instead, we were gifted with KL Morgan

And KL Morgan gifted us with Destruction 

And then for more canonical aus, we have KL Morgan (again ofc) with The Lay of the Looking Glass Land - it does take up further into canon so this blurb wouldn't be sufficient

[scott1984fp]

Ask How I Get Away Publicly Saying Kill, Arrest, Drag, Take Too Prison Or Pysche Wards Of 197 Powerful Surnames Not The Black 🖤 Sheep Like Elon Musk Trans Daughter Or King Charles, Mosseri, Zuckerberg, Mr. Beast, KSI, Harry & Meghan Their Kids,

Charles Wants Too Be Organic Farmer & Renewable Energy With Bamboo, Hemp, Glass, Tin, Copper, Gold, Silver, Colbalt, Solar Panels 100% Not Capped 1% , 3% , 15% ,No Plastic Wind Farms Yet Bamboo & Hemp & Wildlife Friendly, Salt Batteries Been Possible Since: 1970's Ish,

Micro-Plastics In Lungs, Waters, Livers, Brains, Who Said Smoke 9 Billion Cigarettes Poison The Billionaire Brainwashing Club Predictable Predator Mixed Classes Of Darkness 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑

Most People Can't Read Or Write Or Spell & Why Tv Invented, Took 50+ Years For Science, Soaps, SiFi, With Our Bells 🔔 & Music 🎵🎶 Humming Rhythming Thinking Questioning Anything Everyone Anyone Everything Including Ourselves & Bull Shit All Seeing 🙈🙉🙊 God & Hell 😂😂

Its Mother Universe ♾️➿🔗🖇️ , Father Time, Flesh Organics, Bone ⭐✨ Dust & Hence Bones Never Die & Why Our Ancestors Left Metaphors As ROYALS/Religious Extremism Heads/Dictatorships Always Can Read & We Had ⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️ At Our Throats Too Write 4 Slavery Sheep-People Looping Inside Head Scriptures With Wee, Poo 💩, Bacteria, Viruses, Mud, Germs, Sick 🤢🤕😳🙈🙊🙉👿

Remove D From Devils Jumble It Spells Live 🧬

Liver Removal R It Spells Live & Only Organ 🫀🫁 That Currently Regrowth From Any Strangers Lobes

We Can Find DNA 🧬 Ancestry Rest For All Organs Too Do This, Its Trapped In 9 Billion Human Species Brains Via Trial & Error,

Ask Why No Free Science, Free Engineering, No Free Healthcare, No Free Education, No Recycling, No Free Speech, Ask Why Division & Conquer & Sheep-People Slavery 🤔💬

I Am Intelligent 🤓🧠 & Code Patterns Histories Universe ➿➰🔗🤯😳💥 Breaker Of Humanity & 🧬♾️ Only,Can't Brush Teeth, Do Shoe Laces, Wash Often, Eat, Go Toilet Without Getting Distracted Or Ignoring, Can't Spell Yet Know Words Meanings, Not Great Writer Or Reader & Books Zone Out My #ADHD Autism Brain 🧠 ,I Don't Need Too Know Or Like Any Of 9 Billion Too Live You & Want You Too Truly Live

[libraryofcirclaria]

The Monarin Stylus

Library of Circlaria

Blog Posts

Article Written: 8 October 1456

It is believed that the Monarin Stylus was first produced in the early years of modern Combria, more specifically during the 1090s. Its blueprint is unknown. However, what is known is that it serves a multitude of purposes. Among many things, it can give and obtain information, cast complicated spells, and even go as far as engineering the psyche of the masses. Hence, there is a reason that Monarin Styli are speculated to be deeply involved in oathcrafting; in fact, there is controversy over whether or not the Kontacet family, the believed original producers of these objects, may have gifted a Monarin Stylus to the House of Esary.

Writing

No ink is required to write with a Monarin Stylus, for it makes its mark on parchment via the spellfire-enhanced coloration of the page and its perfectly consistent color contour. The letters and symbols of the Stylus are capable of shaping themselves perfectly without the crafting of handwriting movements. The Stylus is a smart object, recognizing the letter or symbol you are trying to write and commanding the paper to shape it perfectly. At the command of the user, a Monarin Stylus may have its parchment reshape the letters and symbols written in order to translate the written text from one language to another; and the exact mechanics of this between the user and the Stylus are presently unknown.

Spellhandling

A Monarin Stylus, however, can do much more than writing. It can store scripts of any spellscriptor's alphabet, Circlarian or non-Circlarian, and can do so up to a seemingly infinite volume. It can also be activated to discharge such scripts as spells, and may also combine scripts to cast complex spells. Despite bearing the basic traits of storage and discharge, a Monarin Stylus is not considered by the Circlarian Standard to be an actual talisman. With a talisman, the acts of storage and discharge happen at the sole discretion of the user. Unlike a talisman, a Monarin Stylus acts as a sort of "blackbox," utilizing unknown forces to combine spellfire scripts without the knowledge of anyone, even the user, and create the potential to cast truly unique spells. In fact, numerous scholars speculate that every Monarin Stylus seems to have an intelligence of its own.

Pysche of the Masses

If such speculations are true, then a Monarin Stylus is the only known object in mankind making possible the combination of real spellfire scripts into antescripts; although such a method is truly a mysterious, "blackbox" one. The reason this concerns numerous governments and academic institutions is because antescripts are the basic building blocks of the ancient and dangerous practice of oathcrafting, designed to manipulate the collective psyche of the masses.

And it is even speculated as a possibility that a Monarin Stylus is capable of going further, by combining antescripts to engineer crafted influences upon the masses designed in such a way to then conceive counter-influences, in order to make "outsiders" blissfully unaware that such influences are being had.

Legality

The Circlarian School of Spellfire-Crafting (CSSC) considers the Monarin Stylus to be a "dangerously unstable device," and has conditioned its accreditation of certified programs in Universities and institutions to be valid only upon their parent nations or entities maintaining legislation outlawing the Stylus. Such nations and entities recognize the importance of having schools within their jurisdictions maintain such proper accreditation, and have therefore enacted such laws without question. There is one land-bound nation, however, that stands as the exception: Agridbea.

Despite being outlawed in most places, Monarin Styli continue to elude contraband registries, partly because of how impossible they are to turn up during investigations. Furthermore, politicians in numerous nations and entities having secretly possessed Monarin Styli may have been behind secret efforts to create loopholes in enforcement systems. That, however, is mere speculation.

Bounty

Outlaw groups volley for the possession of Monarin Styli because of their high value. A Monarin Stylus is worth a fortune partly because of its origin. Monarus, a Myrian Legionnaire living during the 600s, is the one credited for its design, but the Stylus would not actually be produced for another five centuries. Another reason that a Monarin Stylus is of high value is because, according to numerous written sources, there appear to be only eleven of these devices that have actually been produced. And finally, it is a high crime to be in possession of one of these in almost every Circlarian jurisdiction; although, one has never actually been seized by any law enforcement organization. And people from all walks of life throughout time have gathered in secret factions to frequently carry out assassinations against one another in order to seek out a Monarin Stylus. These objects are never openly traded, not even within the bounds of a black market, because of how coveted they are. And furthermore, the transaction of a Monarin Stylus from one entity to another rarely occurred without the loss of human life.

The location of ten of these Monarin Styli are unknown; however, it is speculated that many businesses, especially in the Kingdom of Gyrosak, may be under sway by a possible secret oligarch possessing one or more of the ten Styli. Numerous Circlarian businesses have, after all, been showing signs in recent decades of being influenced in favor of monopolistic tendencies.

As mentioned before, the eleventh Stylus is speculated to have been involved in a deal that existed between the Kontacet family in Combria and the House of Esary in Notulfa. The Monarin Stylus was initially invented by an unidentified member of the Kontacet family as simply a "useless plaything," while all eleven of them were produced around the same time as part of a set. However, between 1172 and 1173, although this item of speculation is seen as little more than a conspiracy theory, the Kontacet family was supposedly approached by the House of Esary, who appraised the high value of the Monarin Styli. Accordingly, a member of the Sororal Council of the Primeron Class (SCPC), part of the House of Esary, extended an offer to the Kontacet family during this time to purchase one Monarin Stylus for a fortune. It was this deal to which the Kontacet family agreed and the transaction made.

Since then, the SCPC has been involved in some unusual events. In 1187, popular sentiment and a nearly-successful violent uprising in the name of the House of Esary threatened the region of Ereautea. Between 1300 and 1440, strong pro-Esarian sentiment swept across Middle Remikra without explanation. And between 1374 and 1375, similar sentiment had its clout on Recastelaren, who failed to prepare for and sustain an invasion carried out by the SCPC, and would ultimately suffer defeat.

Presently, the status and whereabouts of the SCPC are unknown. However, it is speculated that if Monarin Styli exist and that the theory surrounding the Kontacet family is true, the SCPC may still be in possession of one.

[gooogigi]

may twenty second, two thousand and four

Under the Skin (dir. Johnathan Glazer, D.P. Daniel Landin), 2013

my brain is incapable of many processes. one of which being an ability to share emotions as i feel them. was recently informed by my coworker that this might mean i have a "disorganized" attachement style? to me, it just seems like i learned to move through the world by means of suppression, otherwise known as being an adult.

regardless of my emotional aptitude, i seem to be reaching a simmering point. Not destructive boiling, but my pysche blows steams and softly bubbles, with no real end to the slow accumulation of psyichic heat in sight.

in short, im fucking depressed. not as a feeling but as a state. it's a state ive lived with for a while. I thought it was normal to not want to get up in the morning. i think it is, only for things you don't want to do, not an every day thing. my mind, afraid of what stopping might mean, runs a self-fueling engine of thought and emotional viscera. it is so hard to sleep, and it has been hard for years. my mother, god bless her, haunted by the same phantom-psyche that follows her every waking moment.

im returning to this site for a couple for reasons: one, the nostalgia of sharing with the world in this way, anonymous yet unflinching. without a care of what will happen to these thoughts once i post. it is also an exercise in attempting to put words to feelings as they appear. lastly, this site is pretty dead. My friends never use this. I'm journaling in an internet graveyard, and it feels nice to be back here. to remember the person i was when i was figuring myslef out at 16.

i am sorry to report that, at 28, i am still figuring myself out. i fear i never will. i guess i should explore what figuring myself out means. at times i think i'm engaging in a form of self-stockholm: holding myself hostage to ideas of what life should look like, and falling in love with the fallacy of fulfilling this prophecy. i met adam at my orgy situation, and he said he was a porn producer. he pays his own rent (allegedly) to live in the same neighborhood i was graced by the city of new york to be able to afford. what's stopping me from directing some porn, and maybe doing the same? It's obvious the film and art world do not view me seriously, and would rather wait until i'm one foot in the grave until any contribution is taken seriously. and it's not that i feel as if ive made any major contribution to the aforementioned fields, but just that the side glances, the uninterested smiles, the "yeah lets meet sometimes", the "we're sorry to inform you's" they each hurt a little, and in this short life i have accumulated so much rejection it should be astounding i've found a way to give my life any meaning at all.

so how does my life have any meaning, and in turn, have any reason worth living? well, for starters, the yes's ive received, have been enough, i guess. In the past four years ive lived astounding emotional lows, almost at post-australia levels. i have been able toi come up for air because of the forces outside of myself that make life better, nto worse: i got an apartment i can afford in a nice neighborhood, i have a residency, I have an exhibition here and there, i have a job. i don't have friends in my vicinity, and at times ostracize myself form them, but the times i do manage to be with other people has been nice. but in recent moments these yeses have exhibited precarity: theres ways for my building to remove my stabilized rate, my job has had a slow season and it's clear i am first on the chopping block, i have a studio im too tired to use, and no opportunities to at least force me to work.

also, i miss my emotionally irregulated ex. more on this later im sure.

I could probably live better if i just let go of any idea of what i thought life would be, but my idea of what life could be is what saved me the first time. but i think im running myself into the ground trying to be someone i cant. I can only do the best with the life that has been presented to me. i cant tell if this makes life more or less worth living.

[look-at-the-soul]

Hi! It's gossip girl❤️ omg I'm so sorry this is only getting sent now' I wrote most of it the day after I sent the last one and then the anxiety hit and's now I finally have time to finish it! But I hope you're doing well today❤️❤️ 

And awe!! The puppy🥲🥲🥲 I think all dogs just deserve the biggest hugs🥰🥰 🥰🥰 

And lol 😂😂 You do sound like a mom but like it's totally correct😂 Moms have the best advice (usually)😂 School is very expensive and it doesn't stink when people aren't able to make it though! I have a few friends who've done that and it's not fun!😭 and Omg! That's crazy about the engineer! 

And ohh that's great about part 4 of The Runway!! I a saw it on my dash today but haven't had time to read it yet!! I did see that it's a bit of a cross over though 🤭🤭🤭🥰🥰 Baby Lenny Desreves all the hugs too😂

And omg the snippets😂😂 I think I have like 10 individual ones right now that I have bits and pieces of😂 Just the other day I wrote like 2k words but for about four different stories😂😅Omg you're totally right! We are worse than lawyers😂😂 

🥰🥰🥰 I think you are definitely a safe spot!❤️❤️ And OMG NO! I promise you taking time to reply doesn't trigger my anxiety at all!  You are absolutely perfect! I can't really explain why my anxiety happens on here very well🥲 I know here it happens like I'll post something and be excited to post it and then I'll see a lot of other people will be active at the same time and that'll kinda pysch me out and I'll hide for a few days😅 Or I'll have time to get on and see a lot of stuff on my dashboard and then I'll start feeling bad like if I don't interact with every single post and say something people will thing I don't like them or don't care what they've work hard on. I do it's just sometimes the idea of saying something is scary😅😂 and that's really not a good explanation if it at but it's the general gist! 

Oh no! I'm sorry people tired to pressure you in high school/college about that stuff! I'm the same way right now about drinking (nothing against it, it's just not super my thing) But I am lucky enough that the friends I do hangout with more often don't pressure me into doing anything I don't want to! Like the friends I'm closest with now we have a good number of similar interest but on the stuff I'm really into (like Peaky Blinders and Reading and stuff like on here) I haven't met many people offline to talk to about it. So even when I do have the fiends I have, it don't have anyone who I could tell everything too. Also honestly most of the activities I enjoy that aren't like writing fics aren't sports but are like woodwork or building so it's a bit harder to find people around me that are into it under forty😂😂😅😅 Plus being as introverted as I am it can be harder to get out and meet new people to do stuff😅 Buts it's pretty good! I have the friends offline I have and they really are great, and my family is great, and Everyone here (like you🥰) is great too! So even if I'm not super close with one specific person I'm happy knowing everyone I do know🥰🥰

And yes! You have absolutely helped!🥰 interacting off anon has become much easier, even if I still go through spurts of it! And for somethings like requesting I still do use anon and like I'll let the person know how much I liked it on anon, but I'll also try to say something about it off anon too now😂😅 Which may sound weird, but I guess it's a way for my to let the person who I requested it from know I saw it and liked it without having to tell them I'm the one so did it (because for some reason that makes me nervous too) And then I can let them know I liked it off anon too so I'm a little less 👻 like😅 

And yes! I have been on a bit of an inspiration spree! But a at the same time I'm having a hard time finish things now😂😂 I'll jump from idea to idea and have a bunch of little collections now. So I guess I have a bunch of mini back up stories😂 

And you're totally right! Alfie is an absolutely gem! Tom Hardy did a great job!  The world needs more Alfie content of all kinds and Cyril!! 🥰🥰I like to imagine he lived happily ever after and got all the treats he deserves! SK give us the truth!!😂😂!!And thank you! I'm glad you liked that little idea! Alfie's so fun to write! He's honestly the biggest idea kick I've had recently! 😂😂 And OMG yes!! Alfie would absolutely read it aloud and and explain things to Cyril!! He'd probably ask the pup for opinions on what to write back! AND OMG! He'd make Cyril "sign" his paw print at the end of each letter!!🥰🥰 That may be an idea I have to hold on to!

And oh I don't know! I haven't seen the movie with Ripner yet (it's Red Eye) right? Though I've seen like the gifs! But I really can't imagine someone being more coocoo than Crane😅😅 Once you got past that man's iron clad shell he'd definitely be into some kinky stuff (and that's totally ignoring his glaringly obvious fear kink😂😅)  But his is definitely funny at times! He's got that dry humor that just pops out at times😂  But he definitely like changed between those two scenes! I love those gifs😂 And I did see that request and loved it🥰🥰🥰 It was such a good fic!!

OMG OMG OMG!! STEVEN MCGARRETT MY DARLING LOVE😍😍😍 Tell me more😂😂🥰🥰 I actually have had a few fix ideas for that series too, but Hawaii Five O is definitely another one id my comfort shows (Along with NCIS) but I get what you mean about Scott Cann (Danny, Who's also the son of the Dad in Elf?) being in other stuff and Alex O'Loughlin (Steve, who's apparently Australian?😂) not being in much! I think Alex was a producer of Hawaii Five O though so I thing he's done more of that stuff recently! But omg I absolutely adore that show! I feel like Danny and Steve have a similar friendship to Alfie (Steve) and Danny (Tommy) if that makes sense😂😂

And yes! The mail stamping videos make it look so easy!! And lol I've done that before😂 And I agree that the bigger stamps can be easier, even with the polish it can be hard to get some of the super small designs! 

I hope your concert went well (I think you said it was at the end of May?) And OHH YES YES YES! Luke Bryan all the way!! I think one of the first songs I was able to fully memorize was "Play it Again" 🥰🥰 I love his work! And Jason Aldean and Brad Preasly too🥰🥰 

Thanks for the chat! And I'm so so sorry it took me so long to get this back to you😅😅 I promise I'll be quicker next time🥰🥰

I hope you have a great week🥰🥰 XoXo GG🥰🥰

Hello darling!! Please don’t apologize specially if it’s because you went through an anxiety episode, how are you doing now? ❤️‍🩹 I’m doing alright thanks! Well not so well got an ear infection and the meds are making me feel terrible but I’m hoping to get out soon!

Right? 🐾 they have so much love to give us and that’s all they ask in return ♥️♥️

Hahahah now I don’t know to take it as a compliment or feeling old 👵🏻 🤣 just kidding! I’ve always been like that, worrying about people around me thinking of 1,000 they will mess up and me trying to prevent it LOL but I do hope something in my advices works for you ☺️ yeah unfortunately and to think it’s so hard to get a job and make enough money to monthly payments (but don’t you worry about it yet! You have to focus on school ☺️ and that’s enough for now). Right? But I also know people who are very successful in fields completely different to what they originally studied and that’s amazing!

Oh yes!! 🤭 I had the idea to make a crossover between The Runway and The Photoshoot did you read it afterwards? Should I do it again? 📸 aww I love Lenny!!! Need to start working on part 6 tho and I’m thinking about maybe finish it in part 8 to continue working in something else… a new Emmett or Robert Fischer story 🤔🤐🤫

WOW!!! You have a lot of WIP 🚧 love it!!! Have you been able to write some more? -how’s the summer job going btw?- 📖 will the wip list ever end?? (Deep down I don’t want it to end, I just want to write, write, write..) 👏🏻👏🏻 that’s amazing!! It means you let the ideas flow freely 🥰

🥹 this is the best thing I could’ve read! ❤️‍🩹 thank you for that *jumps on the screen and gives you a tight hug*

Don’t worry about it, really (I know it’s easier said than done..), but the thing is tumblr is kind of messed up somehow, one day I logged in and all I could see it was posts from like a week ago, and I refreshed like 5 times, sometimes I don’t see a story being posted right away, but a day or two later and thanks to a reblog (reblogs are magic btw)… other days the tags won’t work 🤷🏻‍♀️ a lot of things can happen in between, but I totally understand how you feel, when I hit the post button I get so nervous and sometimes there are interactions, sometimes there are not, but I think well the story/part is there in my masterlist for anyone who wants to read.

Something I’ve learn is no matter what you do, you will never get it back, but do it anyways. I’m always sharing and reblogging stories because I know how important it is, I’ve noticed it doesn’t work in both ways, but a few days ago I saw a post about if it’s only for one single person that likes your work, keep doing it for that person, or if you only have like 30 people, imagine 30 people in your home right now, that’s a lot! 🥰😍 do what you feel comfortable with, start little by little, a small comment, a thought, whatever makes you feel good, just know it’s natural that you feel that way, but who knows? Maybe your small comments ignites something in the writer and you end up finding a nice friendship? 💖

It’s alright, it’s part of growing up and growing out of people too… keep those friends close! Your close group has a huge impact in the person you become, oh I feel ya! Non of my friends like PB either 🥺 too bad.. and frankly Im terrified of speaking about tumblr in the real world, what if the people I know read what I write?! I’d die from embarrassment 😅 Can you imagine? I haven’t told my best friend scared what she’d think of me, so we better keep company each others on here, we can be anonymous bff 👯‍♂️ … ohhh what kind of woodwork?!

I’d looove to be more DIY, I have my Pinterest invaded with bedroom and living room projects, library, the outdoors decor but I don’t do it 😂 perhaps that’s why I love to add it to my character Yael in the Photoshoot 📸 hahah no but maybe you can find people! The other day I found a woman presenting her work as carpenter 🪑 the pieces I saw were amazing!! Can we make an introverts club please? Noisy people make me feel uncomfortable and when I go to the office I come back home with no energy left 😔 which made me remember I found a book for introverts, I will read it and tell you more about it, maybe you find it interesting, that’s lovely! And so true everyone is amazing with their characteristics 🥰

I started just like that, as anon sending small messages to a couple of writers on here until I was brave enough to say hey it’s me! 😁 and it’s been a lovely community ever since! Oh you’re so right! From the requests I’ve post, I always wonder if the person who sent it actually saw it (because sometimes it takes me so long to write it), so it’s nice if you go back to give a little comment off anon and let the person know 😍 hahah and then you’re no longer a ghost 🤣

Hope you have been using that inspiration spree to the max! I love to read the little snippets you send me, haha but that’s good your mind is working at speed! ☺️ have you been able to finish any of them in the mean time? That’s nice well, at least to me I’ve a few like that so if I feel frustrated at a story I turn around and there are another four little ones screaming at me -I feel like a mom of triplets or something if one starts crying the rest of them as well - 😂😂🤣 the same goes for writing or is it just me?

I simply cannot imagine someone else playing Alfie’s part, his mannerisms are very particular and he’s really funny (Idk if that was SK intention) but he nailed it! Aww yes! Loads of treats for Cyril! (I wonder what happened to him in real life) I try to include him whenever I can in a story, and recently I’ve been reading a couple of Alfie stories. Have you been writing for him? OMG that’s the best idea ever! I can totally picture it 🤩🤩 bet he’d ask Cyril for advice too, but the big question is are you writing it?

Yes it’s Red Eye ( can be confusing with Red Lights too!) 😅😂 you’re so funny but yes Crane is a bit coocoo 🤭 but Ripner wins the award, so creepy that he had been watching the girl and knew all about her… oh my 😈 do you think so? 🤭 but now that you mention it… yes I bet there’s a kinky side to Jonathan 😏 I think my favorite side of him would be his sarcasm god I think all of his answers are oh no this idiot is talking again… *rolls eyes-* haha aww I enjoyed writing for him!

Would you believe me if I say I googled Alex a bit ? 🙈 guilty! Turns out he was so stressed and into his character he had to go to rehab for it for a while, I think he’s missing from half a season or something like that… and he actually lives in Hawaii ♥️ oh I used to watch that show too! Dinozzo made me laugh so hard! And the girl at the lab Abbi was hilarious! What? Scott is related to Elf? Really? *shocked* oh wow!! Guess being a producer is something common then, since Cillian also became a producer of PB and I just heard Margot Robbie was also a producer for Barbie (I guess I should have become a producer instead of my real life job!) definitely!!! That combo sounds similar to Tommy and Alfie! 😂 how great is that you also like them!?!

Side note: I gave up the stamping 😂😂 I wasn’t made for that lol guess I will have to find a new hobby now… there’s a show I used to see “Justified” with Timothy Olyphant (guess the last name is wrong), he was sarcastic as hell and I loved it!! But they took it from the channel and now is back on Hulu (which I don’t have) :(

Oh yes! The show was unbelievably great! It was packed, loads of people from all places but we got some good places, standing, I had the time of my life, I’m planning to go and see them (Westlife) in Boston or Chicago next year, I need more 🍀🇮🇪💚 I’ve been listening to their music and their new album took me by surprise, it has an awesome electric sound, so different from all the previous albums… yeah! Almost, end of June ☺️

Have you been to any concert lately? Oh “play it again” is a great song! Love it! I wanted to see Luke in Las Vegas (he had a residency), but the dates wouldn’t work… those 3 are my favorites for country music, haven’t heard them in a while tho..

And I finished this one! I’m still missing one you sent a while ago I will try to finish that one before you reply to this (sorry about that)

Oh before I go! Have you seen Oppenheimer yet? Did you went to see Barbie too?

And I will leave the answer to your previous message here because I’ve been reblogging a lot of stuff 🤭

Loved this chat so so much! 💖 like always it’s a pleasure to hear from you GG, I hope you’ve been doing fine! And looking forward to hear from you! ♥️🥰

Take care, enjoy your summer! Write some more, have a blast you’re so young, and whatever you do, do it from the heart ♥️ ✨

Talk to you soon, xoxoGG 😘

[tattlestarbeepbop]

So, how about that Whitty Psych Port, eh? Truly ahead of its time. A hood classic, if you will. Truly... truly scarring.

Seriously, what WAS that thing?

And why is it that when you turn a file called victim1 into a PNG, you get THIS?! (CW: CENSORED GORE)

[thesaintelectric]

new hires are introduced to gears in the hope that they imprint on him like a duckling & take after him in following the foundation without question

[elibeeline]

What if i actually went to university next year?? I need irl friends and I need to get out of my parents house and to get some form of a career plan

[incorrectagsquotes]

Marlow, in the Steely Dan shirt: How do I look?

Charlie: Like an idiot.

Marlow: Sweet.

[evieismol]

BIG Bend: Chapter Six

Word Count: 2866

Warnings: language, implications of potential violence towards humans/giants being rumored to eat people (nothing happens)

Dave arrived at the bonfire with Angie, the pair having walked over from the dorms together. John, Gus, and of course, Easton were already there when they got there. The trio sat around the fire. Well, more, Gus and John sat around the fire. Easton sat back away. Despite the roar of the flames, Dave didn’t think the bonfire could have been much larger than a candle for Easton.

“Well, howdy,” Gus greeted, smiling at the two younger rangers. “Easton here was just telling us about Aphiria.”

“Cool,” Dave said, giving a polite smile as he sat down. Angie, meanwhile, looked genuinely curious.

“Ooh, what about it?” She asked. She sat closest to Easton, other than John, and had to practically lay back to meet his gaze.

“The park service there,” John said. “Easton worked for them for a few seasons.”

Dave was a little surprised to hear that. He’d known Easton had a outdoors relevant degree - botany, apparently - but he’d suspected their own park service had hired him mostly for PR purposes. Possibly political ones as well. That was probably still true. It did make sense that they’d pick someone with some experience in a similar job.

“They have a pretty similar set-up, I guess. You said you were the equivalent of an interpretive ranger?” Gus continued, looking over to Easton. The giant nodded.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’d be cut out for law enforcement,” Easton said.

“Why not?” Dave found himself asking.

“I’m scared of confrontation, I’m scared of guns, and I’m like 99% sure I wouldn’t pass the pysch eval.” Easton said.

“Fair enough,” Gus said with a chuckle. Gus chuckled a lot, Dave thought. It fit with his whole friendly old mountain man image. “They’ve got you set up in a pretty nice house back there.”

Easton looked in the direction of his lodging nodding. “Yeah, it’s really nice. I was kind of thinking I’d be sleeping outside or something. But I guess my government and yours got together and came up with this solution.”

“Was it built in Aphiria then?”

Easton nodded. “Yeah.”

“Makes sense. I was thinking that was really some feat for human engineers,” Gus replied. “Truth be told, I’ve been awful curious of the logistics of this whole thing.”

“Oh-well, I’m happy to answer any questions. That I can- if that’s okay with John.” Easton finished awkwardly.

“Go for it,” John said. “You’ll need any practice you can get, since you’ll be working with the public soon.”

“Oh, yeah, I saw the announcement,” Angie cut in, sidetracking the conversation.

“Which one?” John asked with a laugh. “I think it’s on every news channel.”

“Official Instagram one,” Angie replied. “But, yeah, people were kind of going crazy over it.”

Easton laughed awkwardly, looking at the ground.

“I mean, in a good way mostly! I heard the lodges were even more booked than usual, which is really saying something,” Angie said. “Sorry, what about the house?” She looked over at Gus.

“How exactly did you - and that - get here from Aphiria?” Gus asked. “Aren’t most portals human sized?”

“Most established portals,” Easton said. “But there’s still a few ‘natural’ portals in both our worlds.”

“Makes sense,” Gus replied. “Would I be off in assuming you also get supplies from Aphirial? Those apples I saw the other day were pretty non earth sized.”

John laughed, answering that question himself. “Yes. Governments decided it would be less hassle to transport things over here then trying to provide anything that would be filling here.”

“Suppose that makes sense. A whole cow probably wouldn’t even be a snack, huh?” Gus said. Dave felt refreshed unease creep down his spine at the statement. He dared a look up at Easton.

“It wouldn’t anyways, I’m a vegetarian,” Easton said. Another surprise. All Dave really knew of Aphirials was the other dimensional predator bit - he’d actually thought they were probably obligate carnivores or something.

Angie and Gus looked equally surprised. He was glad to be on the same page as them for once.

“How does that work?” Gus asked.

“Um, we can technically survive without eating meat. It’s just difficult, especially because of the whole instincts thing-“ Easton stopped midsentence as he saw the looks on the three ranger’s faces. If Dave had to guess, he would have gone with Easton hadn’t realized the last bit was news to them.

“…Instincts?” He heard himself asking. John jumped in.

“Even though their world is fairly similar to ours, Aphirials still have something of a prey drive. Hunting is a very popular sport there, I hear. Of course, like Easton said - there’s aphirials that don’t eat meat. It’s just a matter of anlot of discipline and figuring out alternately adequate nutrition.” John said it like it was a fun fact. It felt like anything but to Dave. He tried to keep the incredulous look off his face. Sure, hire an otherworldly being who could tear apart a building with his bare hands, and, oh, has ‘something’ of a prey drive. Perfect choice for giving tourists maps. This has got to be the worst idea since the whole ‘build a park on top of a supervolcano’ one, Dave thought.

Dave was apparently doing a poor job of hiding the look on his face, as John continued. “To alleviate any concerns, contrary to rumors humans are generally too small to even be on Aphirials radar. And, of course, Easton went through rigorous testing before we hired him. He’s no danger to humans.”

Dave couldn’t help but wonder exactly how rigorous that really was, given Easton’s earlier comment about probably not being able to pass a psych eval. That thought was the final straw. He felt his heart rate quicken.

“Well, this has been fun, but I think I’m going to call it an early night,” Dave said. He stood up. John got up too, looking like he was going to protest. “Goodnight, John. Angie. Gus. Easton.”

He tried to keep his breath steady as he walked away from the group. He could practically feel eyes boring into his back. He made his way back to his room, closing the door before he slid down it. Why the fuck did I agree to this? What was I thinking? God, you know damn well what they’re capable of Dave. Did you really think some cushy paycheck and single room was going to make this worth it? Did you really think you were going to be fine with this?

His breath was ragged. He wasn’t sure how long he sat against the door before he heard a knock on it.

“Who is it?” Dave called tenatively.

“…it’s Angie, can I come in?”

He took a steadying breath, trying to pull himself together. He hurriedly stood up.

“Uh, yeah,” Dave said, pulling open the door. Angie took one look at his disheveled appearance and a sympathetic frown formed on her face.

“So…What was that all about?” Angie asked.

“I just wanted some space,” Dave said. She gave him a look that said he didn’t believe that for a moment.

“Fine. Easton doesn’t…I don’t know, freak you out?” Dave asked.

Angie shrugged. “I don’t know, he’s really nice.”

“Lots of people are really nice,” Dave grumbled. “Ted Bundy. Homelander.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you really comparing Easton to a serial killer and evil superman?”

“See? This is why I didn’t want to say anything,” Dave said. Angie sighed.

“I’m sorry. I just mean, we barely know him, and he’s been nothing but kind and considerate so far. I feel like we should give him a chance, y’know? It’s not like he chose to be what he is.”

“I think this whole thing is a stupid idea.” Dave countered.

“Why’d you agree, then?” Angie asked, genuinely curious. It was Dave’s turn to shrug.

“I don’t know. I didn’t really think it through, I guess.” Dave said. Angie was silent for a moment.

“Is there something else going on?” She asked finally. Dave stared at her, unsure how to answer. Yes, there is, he thought. He felt like he couldn’t will the words to leave his lips, though.

Dave shook his head. “Am I the only one seeing the obvious here? This is some poorly thought out political stunt, and it’s going to end badly.”

“Why are you still here, then?” Angie asked.

Dave didn’t know how to answer.

Next Chapter

[soren1830]

So a couple weeks ago I went to uni doc to talk about anxiety and came out with a suggestion to screen for ADD.

I have just taken my first dose of ADD meds today, and I am waiting for it to kick it. I admit to being rather nervous so imma type out my experience/ thoughts as I wait.

So a little background. I am in my third year of college/university in the US. That is actually a key reason why no one ever suspended anything, not even myself. I got into a major engineering university! There can't be anything... Wrong (not the best word but IDK) with me. I was the girl who got through all my education with A's and B's. Sure, a couple of those B's could have been As if I hadn't forgotten some homework, but I was doing good!

Everytime an ADd or ADHD post came across my dash, I would laugh at the similarities to myself. "ah! That sounds like me! But I was a good AP Psychology student! I know you don't self diagnose ever!"

Since starting uni just over 3 years ago, my grades slipped. I just could make myself study. Homework and labs, I could focus on just enough to finish most if not all of it. Albiet done in one sitting just before the deadline. But studying? I just could not do it.

At first I thought it was the transition to college. Then I thought it was the pandemic and online learning making it hard. And then, I thought it was just me.

My mom would call often, asking if I had done my work or gone to class or how my grades were. More often than not I lied or fudged the truth. I was the oldest kid. I didn't rock the boat. I was just... Not working right.

After talking with my parents, we knew there was something wrong in my head. I needed to be focused. So we came up with a plan. I would drive home on the weekend so mom could keep me focused as she always had done. And I would get help on campus for the anxiety I had been feeling. After all, I would ignore work in order to help the anxiety to go away, so that must have been a factor.

The counciling clinic was entirely booked, but I found a place that didn't the more 'meds' side of pysch, so we made an appointment to go.

My mom and I have a habit of trying to kill to birds with one stone, so we came up with a list of things I did or was really bad at to bring up to the doctor, cause why not? I would be there anyway for anxiety.

The appointment went fine, he made some suggestions, so as I was nearing the end of our time, I pulled out the list mom and I had made and told him some of the other things.

Halfway through he looked at me and asked " have you been screened for ADD." Well I bluescreened right there, and he gave me a symptom checklist and I walked home.

On the walk I thought back on my life, then something clicked and I called my mom, excitedly telling her the doc's suggestion.

She paused before asking, "but you did well in school?"

"how much did you have to re focus me?"

She went silent and we talked over our options.

We made an appointment with my doctor back at home who we had been going to since before I could remember. The list we had put together initially, now much longer.

I am going to continue this in a reblog because I think the meds are kicking in. Also, do not not hate on my parents for their reaction. There is a lot more to it which I will be writing out.

[smegdwarf]

But Who Could Love Me? (Rimmer x Reader) - Chapter 9

A/N: 3 chapters in 3 days holy crapoly!

Warnings: This chapter does get a little tense (Rimmer has a breakdown) and I guess some implied smut 😏

Summary: Basically giving Rimmer the love he deserves :p

"What do you want me to do?" Rimmer shouted after you as he chased you down the corridor.

"Well for a start you need to tell Lister what you've done with Kochanski's disc?" You stood with your arms crossed.

"I can't tell him, he'll flush me out of an airlock" Rimmer  was full of panic about possibly losing you "What about you?"

"Don't worry about me, I understand why you did it but you need to tell him!" You spoke sternly as you walked off, turning back after a few steps "and until you do ...I'm off limits"

Despite telling him not to worry about you he quite clearly was, it also wasn't long before the others picked up on the tension between you two,  hoping that distancing yourself from him would make him act quicker.

"Morning!" You smiled as you walked into Starbug's cockpit, standing next to Rimmer's chair as he looked at you a little upset that you weren't being your usual self, leaning against his chair.

"Krytes found a derelict on the scanner, thought we'd check it out before we head home" Lister smiled, clearly Rimmer hadn't told him yet.

"Sleep well?" Rimmer tried to spark conversation.

"Yeah fine thanks" You didn't even look at him as you sat down in Cat's seat, the feline must've already been on his second nap of the day, after all he has prepare for his main snooze.

"Is everyting ok ma'am?" Kryten asked as you turned to smile at him.

"Ooh trouble in paradise?" Lister smirked as Rimmer squirmed in his seat.

"No we're fine aren't we Arnie?" You smiled at Rimmer who was completely confused by your behaviour.

"Sure" He gave you a half hearted smile.

"Right bring her in Listy, I'll go wake up Cat" You patted Lister on the shoulder.

"Good luck!" Lister laughed.

"I don't need luck Listy!" You smirked as you left.

Before long you were all on the derelict, creeping quietly through the ship as the scanner in your hands lit up.

"Hmm theres life signs" You grumbled, Kryten peering over your shoulder to look at the scanner.

"Suggest we split into two groups" Kryten suggested "We're more of a target together"

"Kryten lets go!" Rimmer turned to leave as you shot your arm out in front of him.

"Krytes take Cat and Lister ...goalpost head is with me" You replied straight faced as the others walked off.

"I don't think the name calling was necessary?" Rimmer grumbled as you walked on.

It didn't take long for Rimmer to get frustrated with the silent treatment as you continued to walk round quietly, consistently monitoring the scanner in your hand.

"I know you're angry that I lied about Kochanski's disc and that you're off limits but you could at least talk to me" Rimmer finally broke the tension.

"You still haven't told him have you?" You asked not taking your eyes away from the scanner.

"I will tell him, but I want you to stop ignoring me" Rimmer replied as you stopped him at the end of the corridor buzzed.

"Can we talk about this later?" You whispered.

"Why can't we talk about it now?" He asked.

"Shh" You shushed him as you brought your finger to your lips.

"Y/N?" With a swift swing of your arm your hand was plastered over Rimmer's mouth.

"Take this and keep that" You whispered as pointed to his mouth and handed him the scanner "quiet!"

Your hand over his mouth was the only touch he had received from you since he confessed about the holo disc and while it wasn't exactly what he wanted ...it was still something and if it weren't for you holding a loaded bazookoid he would've had you against the wall with his lips firmly against yours. Those thoughts were knocked straight out of his mind by the sound of you firing the bazookoid although he was shocked to see the life form you had been tracking frozen in its tracks instead dead in a heap on the floor.

"How did you...? The bazookoids can't..." Rimmer couldn't quite finish a full sentence.

"I'm an engineer and we're 3 million years into deep space ...I get bored alright" You grumbled as you went over to the frozen creature "Niiice"

"I only asked" Rimmer muttered  "What is it?"

"Some sort of transforming mutant" You pondered over it, resisting the urge to poke and prod it. For all you knew it could be poisonous or toxic.

"Polymorph?" Rimmer asked.

"A polymorph transforms into to different objects to blend with its surroundings" You looked at the mutant curiously "This simply turns itself invisible"

"Well what does it do?" Rimmer was growing impatient.

"I think I know" You smiled "But I'll need to Kryten to confirm"

"Meanwhile we're going to stay here with this thing ...how long will it stay frozen for?" Rimmer was starting to panic at the thought of hanging around an unknown mutant.

"Hey Krytes we've found the life form, we're at the end of B deck" You spoke into your watch.

"On our way ma'am" Kryten's voice replied through the watch.

With the derelict not even being a quarter of the size of the dwarf it didn't take long for the other 3 to find you. Rimmer was sat on the floor, leaning against a wall with his legs stretched out sulking while you were completely fascinated by the creature you had frozen.

"Is that it?" Lister asked as he spotted that it was frozen "Have you been modifying things again?"

"So what if i have? shoot me" You smiled as Lister chuckled "What do you think Kryten?

Before Kryten could answer the frozen mutant broke free, transforming into a huge green skinny monster, spitting as it hissed at you all.

"It's a psy-mutant" Kryten could just about be heard over the screeching.

"What the hell is a psy-mutant?"  Lister shouted.

"Much like a psy-moon, a psy-mutant feeds of a persons pysche and transforms into their strongest negative emotion" Kryten explained.

"So who's it feeding of?" Rimmer asked as everyone locked and loaded their bazookoids.

"You  sir!" Kryten answered as everyone sighed and rolled their eyes ...of course it was.

"Arnie ...thats your jealousy!" You looked at Rimmer and you could've sworn that had he been alive and had a heart you would've seen it drop to the floor, he never meant for this, he knew his jealousy was a problem but he never meant for it to become everyone else's problem.

"What have you got to be jealous about?" Lister growled as Rimmer became paralysed by the fear and guilt of being confronted by his jealousy.

"Should we shoot?" Cat asked.

"The bazookoids won't touch it" You sighed "The only way to defeat this thing is if you let it out"

"Let it out?" Rimmer looked at you a little confused but mostly terrified.

"If you keep this all bottled up, that thing will keep munching on it and we wont stand a chance but if you just say whats on your mind, let everything out thats causing your jealousy it wont have anything to feed on and we can kill it" You explained "I know its difficult Arnie but its the only way"

"I c..can't" Rimmer stuttered, the both of you knew it wasn't just his jealousy it was feeding on, it was slurping up his guilt too.

"Rimmer you need to tell him now" You looked at him, your eyes glistening over as you knew that what was about to happen was going to torture him "You'll feel so much better Arnie I promise"

"I'm so sorry" Rimmer looked at you with so much guilt and sorrow in his eyes as tears fell down his cheek.

"Don't worry about me, its Lister you need to talk to" You had almost forgot about the others watching you "Tell him Arnie"

"Tell me what?" Lister grew concerned.

"I..I ...I flushed Kochanski's disc out of an airlock" Rimmer stuttered as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, the jealousy monster letting out a loud screech as it took a hit.

"Ah ...this is awkward" Lister looked at the floor.

"What do you mean?" You asked as you anticipated his answer, he already knew and had already plotted his revenge unbeknown to anyone else.

"I already knew about that ...and in retaliation  ...I might have flushed your revision time tables" Lister replied as a small smile formed on Rimmer's face.

"I suppose thats fair" Rimmer sighed.

"Ok I'm glad thats all sorted but that green gooey thing is still here" Cat reminded them.

"I said everything why is it still here?" Rimmer asked.

"Because thats not everything is it Arnie?" You spoke softly "Maybe it would be easier if you three gave us a moment"

"Are you sure?" Lister asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't worry I'll kick its arse if I need too" You smiled as he nodded and lead the others away "Arnie you can do this"

"I don't want to think about it" Rimmer scrunched his eyes closed.

"Arnie you can do this" You spoke softly and calmly.

"No I can't" He shook his head as he fought back the tears.

"Yes you can" You smiled as you turned him away from the creature,  cupping his face in your hands "I know you can"

"Why are you with me?" Rimmer started to break down.

"Because I love you" You could feel the tears fighting to escape your own eyes.

"I'm out of my mind, I'm a jealous good for nothing waste of space" Rimmer sniffed as you let his forehead rest against yours "If I didn't have such a problem with getting the breaks, if I didn't get jealous every time someone else was happy, if I just shut myself away from the world maybe this wouldn't have happened, I'm not supposed to be happy, things aren't meant to go my way. I don't deserve anything"

"You know thats not true" You sobbed as you heart ached listening to Rimmer completely breakdown.

"Even my own parents didn't like me or my brothers" Rimmer kept his eyes shut tight.

"None of the way you're feeling right now is your fault Arnie" You kept your voice quiet so only he could hear you "It's not your fault you were treated so poorly, you do deserve to be happy ...more than anyone"

"Then why does everyone treat me so badly?" Rimmer sobbed, it felt strangely relieving for him to be so open and vulnerable and not be shot down further, his legs began to give way underneath him as he fell to the floor. Dropping down beside him and wrapping him up in your arms, gently rocking him back and forth as he cried. He hadn't even noticed the mutant had gone.

"Unfortunately some people are just awful" You spoke softly in his ear before placing a much awaited kiss next to the 'h' on his forehead "and those people don't deserve you in their lives"

"Please never leave me" Rimmer looked up at you, his eyes glossy and his cheeks puffy and red.

"That never even crossed my mind Arnie" You smiled as Rimmer's lips started to curl.

"I love you" Rimmer sniffed as his hand found its way to your cheek.

"I love you too Arnie" You smiled as you helped him up off the floor "Lets get you back to Starbug"

"The mutant's gone?" It was only now that Rimmer remembered why they were there.

"You defeated it!" You grinned as he chuckled "Come on lets get out of here"

Once back on Starbug with the others Rimmer opted to go to bed, he was exhausted physically and mentally.

"I'll wake you up when we're back on the dwarf alright" You smiled sweetly as you leant down to kiss him on the cheek before turning off the lights and going back to the rest of crew. 

Thankfully you weren't that far away so it wasn't long before you were back home. You assumed Rimmer had gone to his bunk to go back to sleep as you curled up in yours to read, so when he suddenly appeared in your door way at 3am you were a little surprised.

"I thought you were sleeping" You smiled as he stood in the doorway  with his hands behind his back.

"I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep" Rimmer spoke quietly.

"Lister not up? It's not his bedtime yet?" You asked "Are you coming in?"

"He's happily munching on a curry I brought up for him" Rimmer looked down at the floor "And I didn't want to over step boundaries"

"Are you ok?" You looked at him a little concerned " Come in I won't bite ...not this time"

"Its nothing, just feeling a little bad about what happened and I know he flushed my timetables but I wanted to do something to say sorry" Rimmer blushed as he walked into your quarters "I mean he is my friend after all"

"Are you sure you're ok?" You laughed as Rimmer chuckled "Don't worry I won't tell him you called him your friend"

"Thanks" Rimmer smiled, revealing the beautiful bouquet of flowers he was hiding behind his back "These are for you"

"Where on io did you get these from?" You grinned as he handed them to you "They're gorgeous!"

"Kryten has been working in the botanical gardens, he let me take some flowers to make you a bouquet ...I should show you some time you'll love it" Rimmer was babbling, pleased to see you smiling.

"Thank you Arnie!" You smiled at him as you filled an empty red plastic cup with water to put the flowers in.

"Thank you for putting up with me" Rimmer mumbled.

"What are you muttering about?" You laughed a little as you raised your eyebrow at him.

"After what I put you through over the last couple of weeks, you're still here" Rimmer had gone back to the nervous, innocent person when you first started dating.

"You don't give up on someone you love" You gently took his hand in yours.

"Even if they're as messed up as me?" Rimmer's eyes finally met yours.

"I love you no matter what, you know that" You smiled as you stared into the chocolate brown eyes staring back at you.

"I really don't deserve you" Rimmer eyes lit up as he smiled.

"Hey no more putting yourself down ok?" You gently squeezed his hand "Promise?"

"Promise!" Rimmer chuckled.

"Now are you going to kiss me or not?" You smirked as Rimmer took off his jacket and threw it to the side of the room, after a little over two weeks of not being able to touch, hold or kiss you he was definitely a little touch starved.

"I thought you'd never ask" Rimmer grinned as he held your face in his hands, feeling his body press against yours as he brought you into the most passionate kiss he had ever given you or anyone for that matter, his arms dropping to your waist, sitting perfectly at the bottom of your back as you let your hands rest on his chest, feeling each other smile between kisses "Can I stay with you tonight?"

"I already assumed you would" You laughed as you brought him into another kiss.

"I love you" Rimmer replied softly as he took your hand in his and walked you over to the bed as you both sat down.

"I love you too Arnold Judas Rimmer" You smiled sweetly, his face lighting up like a child on christmas as you said the words. Delicately tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear with his fingertips he leant in to kiss you again, his arm around your waist as you both slowly fell down onto your bunk.

[comickergirl]

Alright. Let’s give this a shot.

SPOILER-Y DISCUSSION OF CAPTAIN MARVEL, INCOMING:

I figure the best way to do this is chronological; my prior attempts have not been chronological, which might account for their feeling a little...all over the place and unorganized.

This will also be a good test to see how much of the film I remember.

RIGHT THEN: First and foremost, (and we gleaned this from the trailers, obviously) MEMORY-LOSS PLOT. Which is Classic Carol™. She’s lost her memory like. Four times.

(her poor brain D:)

All of this to say: The premise of the movie, a kind of reverse origin story in which Carol figures out who she is, in a very literal but also figurative sense, was a great way to go, IMO.

Love all the moments from Carol’s past. I was admittedly surprised that we didn’t get more of that? But what was there was effective and given the amount of ground the movie had to cover, I think it was sufficient.

So after the dreams** we get the early morning fight with Yon-Rogg (who I was absolutely certain was Yon-Rogg, in spite of all the back and forth speculation and Marvel attempting to ‘hide’ his identity) and there’s exposition, obviously, and the set up of Carol’s struggle with Yon-Rogg’s forced Kree values clashing with Carol’s humanity but MORE importantly...

PHOTON BLASTS.

Love the way they render the energy pulsing just below the surface of her skin. Looks so cool. 

Then: Chit Chat Time with The Great Intelligence!

I thought for sure it was gonna be Helen Cobb.

BOY WAS I MISTAKEN. (More on that in a sec.)

Favorite Visual #1: The slow pan of Starforce and the excellent shot of Carol’s helmet as they swim to shore on Torfa.

The whole rescue mission sequence/Carol’s kidnapping is...Truly a Highlight, in my opinion.

I mean!

She’s running around the enemy ship! Without her boots! Pummeling the Skrulls with unwieldy metal shackles! And growling in their faces!

#BOSSOFSPACE

Also, comic connection alert: Carol was kidnapped and experimented on by the Brood, which resulted in her stint as Binary.

So, back to the movie:

Talos man.

TALOS.

We’ll get to him later.

Okay what month of 1995 does Captain Marvel take place in? Because I was honestly offended that no one, and I mean NO ONE made a Buzz Lightyear joke re: Carol’s outfit and being a member of STARCOMMANDFORCE who checks her wrist communicator to try and make contact.

(Toy Story came out in November so if this takes place in the summer I GUESS I will let it slide.)

But otherwise dug all of the 90s references.

The little Gameboy sound when she calls Yon-Rogg!

(Also, train chase was great but I’m trying to save time though I do feel inclined to mention Kelly Sue DeConnick! Bringing some quality side eye! Very nice.)

Young Fury + Carol = excellent buddy cop combo, 14/10 would take an entire spinoff of their wacky 90s road trip adventures.

‘You look like someone’s disaffected niece’ might be favorite line in the film.

Let’s pause for a moment and appreciate the score, shall we? Pinar Toprak CRUSHES IT; the Captain Marvel theme feels like something out of The Rocketeer but with about 400% more sci-fi synth and I LOVE IT.

**Love the piece of score played when Carol wakes up. (Appropriately titled “Waking Up” I think, on the soundtrack.)

I also like the songs they picked for the movie? This is probably the complaint I’ve seen most often, that they feel obvious and easy, but. I dunno. I was never expecting something like Guardians of the Galaxy? So I wasn’t mad about it. 

(In related news, I’ve been listening to “Connection” on repeat ever since the special look trailer dropped.) 

Anyways.

GOOSE.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE.

MY GOOD FLERKEN GIRL.

(So, yes, breezing past the bar interrogation--though I do like the ghostly images of Carol’s past that crop up--as well as the trip to Pegasus, again in the interest of time.)

(WAIT. NO. THE TAPE JOKE.)

(Okay for real. Moving on.)

So then. THEN.

The Rambeaus. And the feelings.

Unpopular(?) opinion: I love that this big budget action movie focuses on female friendships and platonic relationships instead of romance THERE I SAID IT

ALSO LIEUTENANT TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I spelled Lieutenant right on the first try. Just sayin’.

But in all seriousness, I love the time we spend in Louisiana. We get a lot of good stuff. Carol getting answers from Maria, Talos arriving with his soda (milkshake?) The standoff with Goose.

(Oh, and how could I forget Maria bidding farewell to the neighbor, shutting the front door as Carol continues to glower???)

‘What’s happening?’ ‘It’s loading.’ XD

Favorite Visual #2 (Chronologically, but actually the one I like best in the movie) The Pysche-Magnitron Light Speed Engine explosion.

(Thank you, Marvel, for changing it to ‘light speed engine,’ which is much easier to spell than Psyche-Magnitron)

But yeah, that was the visual that sold me, in the earliest trailer. I wish I had some profound reason for that, but the truth is I just love blue-glow-y stuff.

BUT ALSO

(And, okay, an additional spoiler- warning because this is a big one. Like. Big.)

...................................................................

...................................................................

...................................................................

Seriously, go away if you haven’t seen the movie yet.

................................................................................................................................

MAR-VELL iS A WOMAN

LIKE THIS WHOLE TIME. EVERYONE WAS SO FOCUSED ON JUDE LAW. And then there was that blip, right before the release, when Annette Bening revealed she was the Great Intelligence, again after months of secrecy so we were all like, HA we know the TWIST.

BUT NO. NO WE DID NOT.

Well played, Marvel. Well played.

This was something I was thinking about before the film came out; I just kind of assumed, because of the lack of an apparent ‘Mar-Vell,’ that Carol would be the first and only Captain Marvel in the MCU. And she basically is, b/c we have no indication that Dr. Larson was moonlighting as a superhero, but regardless this is SO COOL. SUCH A GOOD TWIST.

(A quick Google search on how many ‘L’s are in Mar-Vell led to a serendipitous discovery: an article on the gender swap decision, and apparently it came very late in the game. Like. ‘Already looking at guys to play Mar-Vell’ late in the game. *insert themoreyouknow.gif here*) 

Right, okay, back to Feelings:

When Carol’s like: You don’t know who I am! I don’t know who I am!

I was. Emotional.

(Brie Larson is perfectly cast and does a wonderful job.)

Maria’s pep talk? Also caused emotions.

And Maria got to come on the mission! I was pleasantly surprised, and really glad that the visit there wasn’t like. Just a pit stop, you know?

RIP Science Guy, we hardly knew ye.

Again, jumping ahead, but may I just say: It was truly an Experience, watching this movie with folks who had no idea what a ‘Flerken’ was.

Both my friends at the first screening I attended, and then like. Half the theater at the second one. XD

The whole row was like: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT when the tentacles came out.  

So yeah, Talos and the 180 on the REAL villains: Nice. The enduring complaint leveled at the MCU is a lack of compelling villains. (I guess Talos technically doesn’t count as a villain by the end of this, but. We’re going with it.) And Carol’s commitment to helping the Skrull refugees lifts plot elements from my favorite portion of the DeConnick run, so. YEP. LOVED IT.

(I was also trying to determine if Talos’ daughter was perhaps meant to be like. a Tic expy. Did it say ‘Tic’ on the pinball machine? Or ‘Tig’? Or something else entirely?)

Loved the...mind prison? sequence. All of it. “Come as You Are,” the Great Intelligence rockin’ out in the jacket, Carol’s Big Damn Hero moment. Brilliant. Spectacular. Amazing.

“My name is Carol.” 

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS

(Or does she say her full name? I can’t remember.)

And then the subsequent fight scene where Carol’s like. Simultaneously kicking butt but also enjoying all this newfound power/strength? A+++++

Favorite Visual #3: Carol sitting on the railing with the lunchbox.

Sad to see Minn-Erva go, but. Was so cool that Maria gets her own hero moment.

And then this big ol’ fight scene where Carol DESTROYS SPACESHIPS WITH HER BARE HANDS. 

Favorite Visual #4: Carol going Binary in the red, blue, and yellow suit with the helmet FLYING THROUGH SPACE, LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

All of the visuals from this portion are so on point it’s like they’re pulled straight from the comics.

Favorite Visual #5: When Carol’s staring down Ronan and she like. Does that thing, where you hit your palm with your fist? (IDK the technical term there) And there’s this awesome energy burst and AGAIN, BLUE GLOW-Y THINGS. I love.

I’m pretty sure there’s an interview where Brie Larson talked about watching Indiana Jones? And wanting to be the female equivalent of that.

WELL, that’s the movie I immediately thought of when Carol blasted Yon-Rogg into a boulder, mid-goading.

(Y’know, like the scene in Raiders where Harrison Ford was too sick/tired to do the fight choreography, so he just. Shot the bad guy.)

ALSO, when she drags his sorry butt across the desert? I was IMMEDIATELY reminded of Kara dragging Astra into the DEO.

DANVERS GIIIIRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLS

*ahem*

THE FAMILY DINNER AT THE END?????

LITERAL FOUND FAMILY OF ALIENS AND SOLDIERS AND SUPERHEROES JUST. HAVING DINNER. PLAYING UNO. WASHING DISHES AND SINGING "PLEASE MR. POSTMAN”?

Thank you, Marvel, for this beautiful gen fic material.

 WHOOPS I forgot the costume colors bit. (Admittedly confused it with the ending wherein Monica gives Carol her jacket back. Sans ketchup stain.)

So backtracking ever-so-slightly...

Let’s see if I remember this right: We get

Red and gold (Binary send-up, possibly? Or maybe the original Ms. Marvel costume?)

IDK what to call it....Lite-Brite? (♪ makin’ thi-ings with lii-iii-ight ♫) 

Black and Gold (bathing suit costume?)

White and Green (original Mar-Vel/Kree colors) 

That last one’s the only one that’s like. Obvious and deliberate. I’m just guessing with the others.

BUT CLEARLY I am ABSOLUTELY ONTO SOMETHING with the Lite-Brite.

BACK TO THE ENDING Lt. Trouble gives Carol her jacket and that’s my fav look, out of all the costume variations we see in the movie. I mean. I love the black and green, admittedly, and the helmet looks SO GOOD for being something that should be ridiculous, but my go-to answer for superhero costume design is: add a leather jacket.

Favorite Visual #6: Carol in the suit and flight jacket, floating above Earth, ready to go save the day.

AND THEN SHE’S OFF.

Ooooh, ooooooooh, but we can’t forget the scene. The scene that I’m certain ticked off The Continuity Police. (You know the types.)

See, remember when Marvel was like, ‘Carol’s the first Avenger!’ and haters were like, ‘UH HELLO IT’S STEVE????!????’ 

And then Marvel was like, oh ho ho ho, we meant LITERALLY the ENTIRE INITIATIVE IS NAMED AFTER HER CALL SIGN AND SHIELD STARTS LOOKING FOR SUPERHEROES BECAUSE OF HER ERGO SHE IS THE FIRST die mad about it.

That was so very, very satisfying to see.

(Also I guess she’s a literal Captain in the air force? If the rank on the jet is legit. Pretty sure she’s a Major in the comics, though. But I assume this change is to help sell the ‘Captain Marvel’ name.)

And then, friends. And then.

I was fully prepared to leave the theater, uncertain of when we’d next see Carol.

EVEN AS THE MID CREDITS SCENE PLAYED. I was like. ‘Well, they’re gonna cut it off before we can see anythINOHMaNTHERESHEIS!!!!!!’

‘Where’s Fury.’

*insert aesthetically pleasing keyboard smash here*

BRING ON ENDGAME.

And before we wrap up here, one final note:

The Space Stone, sought after by Trickster Gods and Mad Titans alike, was for a brief time, nothing more than a glorified furball.

FIN

(Nope, wait. One little anecdote before we go: of my core group of buddies, I am the Comics Nerd, and thus I am often consulted after we’ve watched a Marvel movie. So I had to explain that YES, Kara Danvers had the last name Danvers first, but she was adopted, and her GIVEN fake name was Linda Lee, so in all fairness, the same-name thing is a little less plagiarize-y, b/c ‘Linda Lee Danvers’ does not necessarily match up as well as ‘Kara Danvers’--which wasn’t even used until really recently--to ‘Carol Danvers’. ...Honestly, I was just really happy they called out the connection MY WORK HAS NOT BEEN IN VAIN XD )

Also, I sometimes get replies on posts like this which is totally fine BUT, I would ask that folks keep really spoiler-y stuff out of ‘em. At least for a little while.

[recentanimenews]

Satoshi Kon Will Always Be in Our Memories

Today, director and visionary Satoshi Kon would have been 55 years-old. Born October 12th 1963 in Hokkaido, Kon studied at Musashino Art University, and later became one of the most respected Japanese film directors of all time. While Kon is most well-known for his film Paprika (inspired by Yasutaka Tsutsui’s novel) Kon’s early career is just as rich and worthy of reflecting on as his break-out hits. Kon was, without a doubt, a master of depicting the messy inside-outs of psychological trauma and the anxieties of Japanese society. His chosen form, animation, only heightened this sense of unease in an often brutal and unforgiving world. Reflecting on the early works in Kon’s animation career, it only becomes more apparent that, regardless of how you might know his work, Kon has proven himself to constantly redefine our notion of the surreal, ourselves, and what anime can be.

  A First Taste of Blood

  The early career of Satoshi Kon is, in part, owed to the success of Akira author Katsuhiro Otomo. Otomo began his career in anime in 1987, working on the science-fiction anthology film Neo-Tokyo just before the debut of the 1988 adaptation of Akira. In his book, Satoshi Kon: The Illusionist, critic Andrew Osmand writes that Kon was working under Otomo as an assistant on the Akira manga sometime after the movie. This close association with Otomo’s style and stories would later culminate in Kon working as a key animator and art director for the 1991 film Roujin Z, also written by Otomo. 

  Roujin Z is, on the surface, a film about technology for Japan’s growing eldery population superseding its creators. It is tinged with the visual tension, claustrophobia, and strangeness that Kon would capitalize on in his iconic 1997 thriller Perfect Blue. One shot, in particular reminds me of Perfect Blue’s pop idol Mima: the student nurse character, Haruko, cleaning floors with a stained glass backdrop. Both young women are intensely dedicated to their careers until some catastrophic and deeply unworldly event strips them of normalcy. However, it isn’t Haruko’s pysche that acts as the film’s catalyst, but rather that of the old man Kijuro, who is bound to a nuclear-powered smart hospital bed. Haunted by the memory of his late wife, Kijuro is somehow able to transform the bed into a walking mecha that adopts her personality and voice. It’s already surreal and unnerving, but Kon’s unique art direction depicting the urban, yet isolating world Kijuro and Haruko inhabit only enriches the power of Otomo's work.

    While just a stepping stone into the anime industry, Kon was already proving to have a solid grasp of how art can convey a rich, troubled inner-life. Later seen in Perfect Blue and his television series Paranoia Agent, Kon has always employed a powerful pairing of place and psyche—always emphasizing that our awareness of our surroundings are always at the whim of our minds. This thematic hallmark has always been planted deep at the heart of Kon's most powerful work.

  Magnetic Rose and a Promising Future

  Back in the '80s and '90s, anime film anthologies were a hotbed of emerging talent. Maybe unsurprisingly, Satoshi Kon’s first big break as a writer was in the 1995 anthology Memories, where he produced both scripts, backgrounds, and layouts for the short Magnetic Rose—another science-fiction story based off Katsuhiro Otomo’s work. With music by Yoko Kanno, Magnetic Rose is almost like an early Kon-directed episode of Cowboy Bebop (a dream!), accompanied yet again by an unnerving cautionary tale of technology and the human mind. 

    Aboard the space vessel Corona, a crew receives an SOS signal from an unknown source. Two engineers, Heintz and Miguel, discover an abandoned space station on October 12th—Satoshi Kon’s birthday. Kon’s screenplay is powerful, striking the perfect balance of the fantastic and gruesome reality. Heintz and Miguel are entrapped into a shuttle overrun by a wayward AI, the last guardian of an opera singer named Eva who passed away alone and isolated after her lover’s mysterious death. At AI Eva’s whim, Heintz and Miguel both fall victim to their own memories and desires, all for the sake of their own grasp of reality before succumbing to the unforgiving void of space. It is far less sympathetic than Perfect Blue or Paprika for its protagonist's emotional shortcomings—in a way, this is Kon at his unpolished best. Magnetic Rose is one of Kon’s strongest works, and with its unflinching depiction of the human psyche, it no doubt proves that Kon was pioneering long before his directorial debut.

  The House Mima Built

  After the success of Memories, Kon launched his directorial career with Perfect Blue, an adaptation of the novel by author Yoshikazu Takeuchi. For the first time, Kon had near total creative control of his films; unlike his previous projects, Perfect Blue’s art direction needed to be built from the ground-up. Without the blueprint of a preceding manga or character designs, the story of Mima Kirigoe, a pop idol with a split personality and a near-supernatural stalker, was entirely in his capable hands.

  The role of memories in Perfect Blue isn’t unlike that of Magnetic Rose or Roujin Z—Mima in her pursuit to seek a new career as an actress, cannot escape her complicated past. Mima's troubled history joins Kon's dark gallery of thematic conflict: man and machine, man and evil opera singing AI, man and weird internet stalker. Kon’s characters are always moving forward, either it be Mima running away from her phantom pop idol other, or Paprika herself being chased down a dream hallway. Kon’s characters are consistently running away from, if not literally themselves, a surreal entity that is everything they hate or scared of becoming. Kon’s second film, Millennium Actress, solidified his talent as a filmmaker and of course, the rest is well-documented history.

    In the year between Magnetic Rose and Perfect Blue's release, Kon wrote the manga Opus, his final work before fully transitioning to animation. While never completed, Opus tells the story of a manga artist who cannot finish his long-running series after his main characters mysteriously becomes sentient and prolongs the final chapter's release. In a way, Opus is an appropriate predecessor to everything Kon’s directorial career is: art that reflects the artist himself, the audience second. Life imitates art, in that after passing on August 24th 2010 of pancreatic cancer, Kon never finished his final projects. A month after his death, Kon was honored in TIME, where late film critic Richard Corliss wrote: "In his art, in his life and in his grace in leaving it, Satoshi Kon was a hero, first class."

Today, I hope both old and new fans of Kon’s films are able to reflect on his earlier works and appreciate the sensitivity and passion in which he pursued his craft. He was, beyond a talented animator and artist, a man deeply devoted to his colleagues and those who supported his ambitious endeavors. Satoshi Kon will always be in our memories, not only as a director, but as someone who completely transformed our relation to art for the better.

How has Satoshi Kon's work changed your life? Let us know in the comments!

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Blake Planty is a writer who loves his cat. He likes old mecha anime, computer games, books, and black coffee. His twitter is @_dispossessed. His bylines include Fanbyte, Unwinnable, and more. His newsletter is Boy Toy Box.

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