#questions: i'm popular today!

[cosmogyros]

I live in constant fear of the question "What kind of music do you like?"

[wemlygust]

@anxiette

[harrysfolklore]

lando norris being down bad for his girlfriend: a compilation

summary: lando norris can’t help but talk about his girlfriend whenever he cans, fans make compilation videos about it

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

Lando Norris could be described as someone who's not scared of saying whatever crossed his mind.

And that's why he never, ever, missed the opportunity to talk about his girlfriend whenever he had the chance.

He mentioned her during interviews, press conferences, social media post and even fan interactions. To the point where fans started making compilation videos with all the moments he publicly obsessed over his girlfriend.

The most popular one gathered millions of views on YouTube, showing multiple occasions Lando couldn't help but be down bad for her.

The video started with a clip from Q&A with fans, someone asked him about his favorite way to relax after a race. Without missing a beat, Lando replied, "Cuddling up with my girlfriend, of course. Nothing beats that."

"You're really whipped man, It's embarrassing," Oscar, his teammate, teased beside him, making the audience laugh.

"It's not, really." Lando shrugged proudly.

The next clip was taken from McLaren's Tiktok account, their content creator tried to do the "Can you watch my ___ for a second" prank on Lando.

"Oh my girlfriend already did this prank to me," Lando said, laughing at the camera, "Baby, If you're watching this, I miss you. Your pranks are way better than McLaren's"

The video moved to show Lando during a post-qualifying interview, his suit hanging by his waist and his fireproofs showing, when asked about his strategy for the race, he cheekily replied, "Well, first I'm going to call my girlfriend for some good luck wishes. Then, I'll focus on getting to the front."

"Zak Brown should hire your girlfriend as your strategist then," the interviewer joked.

"That would be great but I don't think we would be getting any job done. You know what they say about mixing business with pleasure."

The next clip showed Lando with his friend and fellow driver Max Fewtrell, playing a trivia game about how well did they knew each other. Max had to answer what was Lando's worst habit.

"I'm going to say leaving dirty plates around the house," he said, showing his board, "You do mate, admit it."

"My girlfriend would agree on that," he admitted, "She's always complaining about it."

"I don't know how she's still living with you."

"Because she loves me, and I would die if she leaves me."

On the same note, a video of Oscar teasing Lando followed right after.

"Who's most likely to snore?" Lando read the question, and Oscar quickly put ut the cutout with Lando's face, "How are you so sure? You didn't even hesitate."

"Mate, I've heard you, plus your girlfriend literally complained about not being able to sleep properly last night because you kept snoring."

"I did keep her up last night, but it wasn't just because of the snoring," Lando said, a cheeky grin on his face.

"Put the not safe for work disclaimer at the beginning of this video please."

The next segment was from Lando's own Youtube channel, he was doing a little vlog in Miami before the race weekend.

"Hi everyone," he said, filming himself in the mirror with his camera, "Today I'm back with another LandoLog, I'm going to be filming some behind the scenes of this Miami weekend, so without further ado, let's go," he moved the camera around, focusing on his girlfriend who was putting some mascara on her eyelashes, "Here's my beautiful girl, who takes ages to get ready. Say hi baby."

"Hi everyone," his girlfriend waved, laughing, "I'm not taking ages, I'm just making sure I look good."

"You always look good for me," Lando said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before turning the camera back to himself, "See, I told you she's the best."

The next clip showed Lando and Oscar together once again, this time they were giving a tour around the McLaren hub.

"This is my driver's room," Lando said as he opened the door, "It's cleaner than Oscar's, clearly, and looks like I have a bed."

Lando moved to put together the small bed that was behind the door, "This is an upgrade from last year, we didn't have this. I'll be definitely giving it some good use, to nap or with my girlfriend."

"Can we have a video where you're not a horndog please?" Oscar said, putting his hands on his hips.

"You're the horndog, I never said what we were going to use it for, we're just going to cuddle."

The video moved to show one of Lando's post race interviews after winning the Miami GP, he had been asked ho would be the most excited person about this win besides him.

"My girlfriend, definitely. I couldn't have done it without her," Lando said, his voice filled with emotion, "She's been my biggest supporter, my inspiration, and my motivation. This win is as much hers as it is mine."

The video then cut to a scene from Lando's gaming stream with Max Verstappen. The two drivers were deep into a game of Call of Duty, their banter and laughter filling the screen. Lando was focused, his eyes glued to the monitor as he coordinated with Max.

Just then, Lando's phone buzzed on the table beside him. He glanced at the screen and his expression softened, the comment section noticing, "Hey, mate, I need to go. My girl needs me for something," he said, setting down his controller.

"Lando! Are you serious right now?" Max said, his eyes still glued to the screen.

"I am, see ya," he turned to the camera, smiling not so apologetically "Sorry, guys, duty calls. See you next time."

The last scene was a snippet from an interview, Lando had been asked what he saw in his future.

He paused, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Honestly? I see a lot of racing, hopefully some championships," he laughed, "but most importantly, I see her. I can't imagine my life without her."

The screen faded to black, showing a text that read: Get you a man who is as down for you as Lando Norris is for his girlfriend.

[multific]

Gifts and Cake

Emperor Geta x Reader

Summary: Your marriage was arranged but your love for each other was not.

Marrying him was not in your favour.

He took a liking to you at one of your father's parties and now, you were his wife.

Emperor Geta truly showed his other side to you.

While people saw a raging crazy man, he was kind and sweet with you.

An unmerciful ruler, but a kind husband.

He always made sure you had everything you wanted. 

And as your birthday approached, he came to you during the day.

Bursting into the room you currently sat, reading and eating fruit.

"Tomorrow is your birthday, My Darling Wife, I wish to know what it is that your heart desires?" his question was so sudden you froze for a moment.

"I believe I have everything because I have you, My Husband. But I do know you and you mean gifts, I simply wish for cake, you know my love for sweets and if it's not too much a new pet." you ended up saying.

"A pet? What kind? A tiger or lion perhaps?"

"No, nothing like that, I simply wish for a healthy kitten." 

"A kitten. Why a cat if I may I ask?" you watched as his face filled with confusion.

"I adore them, and I wish for a small companion to be with me when you can't." His eyes lit up at your words and a smile spread on his lips.. 

"My Sweet Darling!" he kissed your hand before darting out of the room you smiled at his actions. 

He left just as he arrived.

—-

The next morning came, you woke up to your husband missing from his side of your bed, but soon, he entered with servants.

All carried presents for you.

"My Love! This day is special, we celebrate your birth after all! To show my love for you, these are all presents from me." 

"Thank you!" you smiled as the servants placed all gifts around you and left, leaving you and your husband who eagerly watched you and waited for your reaction.

You began with a smaller box, it had a beautiful new ring inside.

"To match my own." Geta spoke up and you looked at him, seeing his hand you noticed the same ring on his pinky. 

"I really like it. Thank you."

You looked at all the presents which included a lot of different jewellery, dresses and sweet things.

"I really liked everything, Geta. Thank you." you smiled as he waved a finger at you.

"Not everything. Of course, we will hold a party tonight, there will be cake as I promised and I still have one gift for you." 

The entire day went by pretty usual.

During the evening as promised, there was a party held in your honour.

You had so many sweets and enjoyed the songs. Your husband was there as you laughed and enjoyed yourself.

Caracalla was another pleasant surprise with his lovely gift. He arranged for you and Geta a lovely bath in a popular bathhouse.

But most importantly, your husband finally gave you your last gift. 

"As promised, My Empress, your new pet. Name him as you please." a beautiful white kitten sat in Geta's arms. Such a small and gentle being.

You stood up from your seat and your husband handed you the kitten.

"Thank you, My Love. I'm very happy. Today has been the happiest." you said with a smile and a kiss to your husband's lips.

"It is only the beginning, we still have much wine to drink and we will head to our chambers." he whispered the last part into your ears, and you smiled at him once more.

"I truly love you, Geta."

"And I love you, My Empress." 

You sealed your love with a kiss.

Taglist: 

@castellandiangelo @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou 

@mandoloriancookie @deliciousfestsalad @lilliumrorum @asgards-princess-of-mischief 

@fallout-girl219 @dracaryxzs @snowtargaryen 

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE, TO STEAL OR TO REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/

[cheriladycl01]

And … by Uber, I mean texting my boyfriend Franco - Franco Colapinto x Reader

Plot: In which you always seem to use your boyfriend as a convenient Uber and the media start to pick up on it!

You were being interviewed by the media while you were stood in the paddock waiting for your boyfriend to come out of his motorhome.

“Ah there’s Franco Colapinto’s girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N. I’ve never spoken to her before but rumours around the paddock say she’s just as funny as her partner and she’s very sweet. Let’s go haggle her” Martin says into the camera that’s following him through his Grid Walk

“Y/N! Y/N hi hello, Martin Brundle from Sky Sports! Can we chat?” He asks you, your head whipping round at the sound of your name.

“Oh hi! How are you today?” You smile kindly as you reach out to shake his hand.

“I’m good, I’m good! Glad I’ve bumped into you!” He smiles and you nod.

"So Y/N how have you found the paddock!" Martin asks, moving the microphone a little closer to you.

“It’s really welcoming! Everyone here has been so kind to me, and I’ve made tons of new friends with Lily last year when Franco was in Williams and Kika this year! But I’ve also spoken to Oscar’s Lily, Alexandra and a few of the other girls and their all really sweet, it’s nice to have people other than Franco” you explain and he nods a smile on his face.

“Ah that’s brilliant, that’s something we love here. All about family and keeping those close connections right?” He asks and you again nod.

“Mmmm, yes I’ve become very close to Kika! We’re going shopping together after qualifying tomorrow!” You exclaim happily, you’d become incredibly close to Kika. You pretty much hung out with her all the time now.

Originally, you’d been very shy when Franco underwent his first year in F1. He was the hotshot new rookie who came in to replace Logan and he ended up being phenomenal. Which led to him getting pretty popular VERY quickly. Which frightened you as it meant you’d be more in the limelight.

You’d remained towards the back, silently cheering him on whenever you were able to attend a race and kept off camera.

However now that he’d gotten a seat in Alpine, he was begging for you to appear so … in his words he didn’t seem like ‘a lonely flirty man whose desperate for attention’ you’d of course joked back and said take out the lonely and that’s a pretty accurate description of him.

“So we’re happy you’ve settled into paddock life so quickly, but let’s move onto the racing questions?” Martin asks and you nod your head. You actually knew a pretty decent amount about your boyfriend’s sport and once he introduced you to it and his world you became increasingly interested in not just the sport but the engineering behind it.

"So obviously you were here last year when Franco stepped in for Williams, how was that knowing that those last few races for him, could be his last time ever in formula one?" Martin asks and your smile remains despite the question.

"Franco and i have dated for a while now and been friends for even longer. So i've always known he'd make it. Last year was stepping stones and i think everyone could see how promising he was with the way he was pulling points from that Williams and now that he's taken on this role in Alpine i can see him being a stellar driver for years to come!" you explain Martin seeming happy with your answer.

"Well that will mean we get to see much more of you which im sure everyone in the paddock will be incredibly happy about!"

"Yeah, I wasn't into racing at all before i met Franco at school and thats when he asked me to go to one of his races in the lower catergorys. I swore i was going to be so bored but the thrill was insane, looking out for Franco on track became my new fravrioute thing... and it still is!" you grin and Martin laughs, the imagine of a younger you cheering on for Franco now planted in his mind.

"Anyway I'm so sorry Martin but i have to go I gotta go get my Uber. And by Uber ... I mean my boyfriend Franco" you joke and he looks at you in mock shock.

"You don't drive?" he asks and you look down a little embarrased.

"I do, but im not the best. Franco's terrified whenever I'm behind the wheel. He actually refuses me to drive now!" you admit shyly and Martin just laughs.

"And Franco, he doesn't try and teach you?" he asks in shock and you nod.

"He's tried but i genuinely think I'm unteachable. I have no clue how i passed my test, so a passenger princess i will remain" you sing the last note making a crown motion over your head.

"Ah and here he is now Franco Colapinto the Uber!" Martin says before you boyfriend comes up to the both of you.

"Are you okay?" he asks you concerned knowing you get a little camera shy and don't really like being incredibly public.

"Mmmmm yeah" you smile kissing the side of his face before taking a hold of his hand.

“I’m an uber?” He asks with a laugh raising an eyebrow at the interviewer.

“According to Y/N you’re her personal taxi driver” Martin intervenes.

“Oh! Yes! You didn’t know? My day job is a chauffeur for this lovely lady” he says pulling you in for a hug, laughing at you.

“Ah well it was lovely talking to you both, but I think times up as you guys have some Alpine members running to come get you! I think maybe you’re needed Franco. Lovely to see you both!” Martin says before continuing on his grid walk.

“An uber seriously?” He asks holding you at arms length as he looks over you.

“WHAT! Come on I was having fun!” You laugh hitting his shoulder before he wraps and arm around you, walking to meet his team that have been looking for him.

“You’re a menace!”

Taglist:

@littlebitchsposts @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[3verythingiknowaboutlove]

first fall of snow

how spencer guesses you're pregnant before you actually tell him

fluff word count: 1390 warnings & tags & stuff: pregnant reader, slight issues with mother mentioned?, non-graphic vomiting, mentions/allusions to winter holidays being celebrated, kinda spencer's pov but still 2nd pov, reader is scared spencer will leave her lol, anxious!reader in general, mentions of death?, probably medical inaccuracies ive never been pregnant author's note: hiiii i'm forcing myself to post this because if i don't then i'll never post and i'm being BRAVE. i hope it can be a little comforting maybe. i've realllyyyy been struggling with my take on spencer's characterization lately soo this was kinda like a bootcamp/exercise situation into his mind and less an expression of my writing skills, iykwim. let me know your thoughts if u have any! i love you & have a splendid day!!

Spencer is walking—speed walking—toward his car, away from the case he just finished, away from serial killers and guns and geographical profiling and death.

He places his feet carefully on the snow-covered sidewalk with each step, the cold air biting at his face. He barely notices it, absorbed in the path ahead, as the snow provides a satisfying crunch underfoot—a nice background to his perpetually racing mind.

He doesn’t like the winter. It’s always too harsh outdoors, and too stuffy indoors, and he’s trapped in a suffocating haze no matter where he goes. 

His phone starts to vibrate gently in his pocket, interrupting his racing thoughts for a split second. His pace falters as he pulls it free, a quick smile tugging at the corner of his lips when he sees it’s your name on the screen.

“Hi. How are you?” he asks after picking up, watching his breath come out in puffs of vapor in the cold air.

Winters, however, have gotten progressively better each year he spends with you.

“...I’m okay,” you say, though the crack in your voice reveals the all-consuming ache in your bones and mind.

“No. You’re overwhelmed,” he guesses in his matter-of-fact way, voice gentle. You huff out a soft laugh at his ability to read you, never getting old.

“Yeah, I guess. A little. The holiday season, you know. Are you on your way home?” you ask, voice softer now. You’re sitting on the couch of yours and Spencer’s cozy apartment, wrestling with a blanket to cover your lap, and bouncing your leg relentlessly.

“I’m walking to the car now. Hey, have you done the crossword today?” Spencer asks, words a familiar, tender remedy for your nerves. You told him a long time ago that hearing his voice makes you feel better, and there are times, like these, where he just knows it’s what you need. You rest our head on the arm of the couch, curling up.

“No, I didn’t have the time. Why?”

“There was an interesting question about causes of death in Shakespeare plays, but they completely messed up the part of speech. It read, ‘Popular ways to die by the hands of England’s national poet’. I thought it was ‘poisons’ at first, but it was actually ‘stabbed’, even though the correct answer grammatically should’ve been ‘stabs’ or ‘stabbings’,” he says, his car now in sight through the steady sprinkle of snow coming down. “Do you think I should send an email to let them know? I guess stabbing does make more sense, though, versus poison, because throughout his works, thirty characters out of his 74 that died were stabbed compared to only four that were poisoned. Three were stabbed and poisoned. Did you know that two were actually baked into pies, which is a-”

“Oh my god, the pie,” you groan, cutting him off mid-sentence, sitting up hastily, the blanket falling to the floor.

“Pie?”

“Yeah. My mom coerced me into making it to bring tomorrow.” You pad over to the kitchen and crouch down to peek through the hazy glass of the oven, inspecting it. “Oh,” you murmur. “It’s…not pretty.”

He sandwiches the phone in between his ear and shoulder, gently opening the door to his car to sit down as he listens to you. He turns the heat on, exhaling in an exhausted relief, hovering his hand over where the air comes out. 

“Can you tell me what it looks like? Maybe I can help,” he suggests, leaning back against the headrest and letting his eyes close for a second. You put the phone on speaker, setting it on the counter as you bend down to take it out. “Don’t burn yourself,” he adds, hearing what you’re doing.

“I’m not going to burn my-” you cut yourself off with a huff. “Whatever. It’s just really messy. There’s like… liquid overflowing where the lattice should be.”

He hums. “How long has it been cooking for?”

“45 minutes. My mom sent me this one ancient recipe that I had to use written on parchment paper from like 70 years ago, and it does not have a bake time listed, so I’m just eyeballing it.”

“Okay. You could either put it back in the oven in hopes that more of the liquid will evaporate, or you can leave it out to cool down and hopefully thicken,” he says.

“What do you think I should do?”

“I think you sound exhausted and need your sleep.” 

You sigh, staring at your mess of a pie, hopes that you’ll appease your mother this year slipping further and further away, soon to be completely buried by the snow.

“Hey. I’m sure it’ll taste really good. Besides, people still liked Shakespeare, and he wrote about much worse pies than you could ever make.” 

A smile pulls at your lips.

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll just leave it out to cool and head to bed. Will you stay on the phone a little longer?” you ask, padding over to your shared bedroom.

“Of course.”

He doesn’t start driving as you talk, not when nearly 2000 people die per year due to driving on icy roads, and two thirds of them were people who were reported to not be paying close enough attention.

And especially not when 54 hours ago on your last phone call, he noticed a drastic shift in your behavior, and was quickly able to tell that you were pregnant. 

He had too much waiting for him at home to be spinning out on black ice because he was talking to you and not watching the road.

He chooses instead to look outside at the falling snow, blanketing the city, his city, the very first for D.C. to have this winter out of the septillion snowflakes planet earth receives each year.

…

Spencer gets home a little later that night, holding another pint of cherries in his hands. Not for the pie—which he turns to see resting on the stove and winces slightly at—but for you. 

Cherries, with their 342 mg of potassium per cup, help replenish lost electrolytes and can soothe nausea.

He’s expecting it to start any day now.

He quietly steps into the bedroom, setting his bag by the door to be dealt with tomorrow. The soft glow of the lamp that was left on, presumably for him by your endlessly considerate heart, provides just enough light so he can get changed. He then finally clambers into bed next to you, one hand reaching out to lace in your hair, moving his fingers to gently scratch by the nape of your neck. He lifts the other to rest, like you're made of a delicate china, on your lower stomach, sighing in pure relief the second it makes contact.

You turn sleepily, humming when you’re met with the sight of him. “Spence,” you murmur, contented.

“Hi. I really didn’t mean to wake you up. I’m sorry,” he says, so quietly.

“I'm glad you did. I like it when you wake me.” You tuck yourself closer to him. “I love you.” His hand comes to trace gentle patterns all over your back and arm, and he gives you a little kiss, adoringly.

“Go back to sleep. I love you.”

You let your eyes shut once again, this time much easier now that he’s with you. You inhale his scent, which you swear could repair anything broken or lost in this world. You exhale, wondering if he’d still hold you the same way after learning that you’re carrying his child. 

It’s a scary thought, but you’re comforted by his warm touch, pushing you farther out into the deep sea of sleep.

Once your breaths get steady and your mouth parts slightly, he adds, in a whisper, “Both.”

…

The next morning, when you’re hunched over the toilet bowl, Spencer is there with you, rubbing your back and wiping your teary eyes. You look up to him after brushing your teeth, and no words are exchanged. He tugs you into his arms, silently quelling any of the countless anxieties swarming your mind, at least in this moment.

His hand comes up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. He lets it rest there, cupping your jaw.

“Let’s go shopping after breakfast today, okay? You need prenatal vitamins.” He presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

“And a new pie.”

[smutoperator]

A Day With a Superstar

Im YoonA x Male Reader (special guests: YoonA's personal trainer, Choi Sooyoung)

Part of Legends series

Tags: aerial spit roasting, anal, backshots, biggest fan, carry fucking, dirty talk, facesitting, (lots of) facials, floor sex, gym, high intensity sex, insatiable mommy, lingerie, mating press, prone bone, sex on the stairs, squatting, strip teasing, threesomes (MMF and FFM)

Word count: 9887.

Chapter 1 - Morning Workout

YoonA wanted to celebrate her 35th birthday in style. She knew she had to do something special for this milestone, as she remained one of the most popular girls in her country nearly two decades into her career. So she decided to hold a contest.

YoonA sent a message to her fans that she would hold a competition to see who her biggest fan was. Through the lead-up to her birthday, she had them answering questions about the most obscure details of her career until a winner was finally crowned.

"Congratulations," YoonA sent you a message as you won her contest. "For being such an incredible fan, you will get the chance to spend a whole day with me. Come spend your time with your favorite superstar during her birthday. Greetings, Im YoonA," she said in the message sent to you.

You arrived at the place YoonA told you to meet her. At first, you didn't understand why she decided to choose the gym where she does her daily training to stay fit as she ages like a fine wine, but soon you would find out why.

"Good morning," YoonA said as she greeted you with a kiss. "Come inside, it's my birthday, but I'm the one who has a surprise for you," she said. "Sure," you answered her, still starstruck and still pinching yourself trying to check it was just not a dream. You were really with YoonA, the face of the nation's girl group.

YoonA led you inside the gym as she crossed the public area into her VIP room. "So you have a room all by yourself to train? How expensive! You surely are the it girl," you said to her. "Thank you," she answered. "It took me years of hard work, and now I wanted to share it with my biggest fan," she continued.

"That's my personal trainer," YoonA said as a bulky guy entered the room. You were surely a strong dude, but he was no slouch either. "Are you ready to have a training session with us?" she asked. "Of course, anything for my beautiful queen," you replied, showing how much you worshipped her.

YoonA started exercising, sharing kisses with you in between. Her trainer slowly took her jacket off and started massaging her around her tits, YoonA moaning as he ran his hands on her. "I'm gonna need some good training today, if you know what I mean," she said.

The trainer kept touching YoonA, as you just watched, before making your first moves and kissing her while touching her. In one go, the trainer ripped her jacket, YoonA letting out a shocking awe as her long torso popped out right in your sight.

YoonA got on her knees and started showing what she really wanted, massaging both your bulges under your and the trainer's shorts. "Oh shit," she said, pulling your shorts in one go to suck your cock, the trainer pulling yours to get his pole sucked too. YoonA started taking turns between both cocks. "Oh shit, baby, that's what I want to see," the trainer said.

You pushed YoonA's pretty face against her trainer's cock, enjoying her getting stuffed by his massive pole while you waited your turn. YoonA quickly switched the attention to your cock next. "So you're really nasty when the cameras are turned off, aren't you?" you asked her. "Yes, I am," she answered.

YoonA kept taking turns between both cocks. "Swallow that dick," the trainer commanded her. "You like that? Seeing my pretty face covered in spit?" she asked him, increasing the speed of her jerking his cock off and then licking yours. She kept stroking both shafts hard.

"Choke on his fucking dick," you told YoonA as her trainer grabbed her pretty face and made her bob her head on his cock. YoonA made sloppy sounds and then dove to his balls. "Such a sexy baby," you said to her, giving the first spank on her ass as YoonA kept worshipping her trainer's balls.

You popped your cock in and out of YoonA's pretty face, then enjoyed as you watched her give you a no-hands blowjob. "You look so fucking beautiful all stuffed up with that cock," you told her. YoonA also dove to suck your balls before giving you a soul-sucking deepthroat.

"Suck that motherfucking dick, make it wet," YoonA's trainer said, shoving her head against your cock. YoonA kept picking up the pace, gagging hard on your cock and stroking it fast. "Open your mouth and suck that cock," her trainer kept dictating to her.

The more YoonA sucked both cocks, the hungrier she got. Soon, she started taking both in her mouth at the same time, licking both tips like crazy and savoring it. "You like that?" she asked them. "God, my pussy is so wet already," she continued as she stroked both cocks at the same time.

"I want these cocks taking turns in my fucking pussy; you guys better give it to me," YoonA commanded as she got back into a standing position. "Take it off," she commanded to both of you as she got stripped naked in a hurry. Soon, you dove between her long legs, burying your face in YoonA's ass as you started eating one of Korea's most valuable pussies.

"Fucking eat that pussy," YoonA commanded as you savored her juices while her trainer fucked her pretty face and she spat on his cock. "All that nasty fucking spit getting that cock wet," she said, jerking it off just as you started the motion to shove your cock inside her pink pussy, unable to resist the urge as the amazing scent of her fuckhole already turned you into a slave for YoonA's majestic pussy.

You slowly penetrated YoonA from behind, her knowing what was coming and arching her back to get your cock deep in her pussy while she hugged her trainer. "HOLY FUCK, AHHHHH, OH MY GOD, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, OH MY GOD," YoonA started screaming as you fitted your whole nine inches of length and seven inches of girth inside her loose mommy pussy. But little did she know taking that massive cock all the way deep would be the easiest part.

You lifted YoonA's slender, tall body in the air and started pumping her pussy as hard as possible from the get-go, fucking her in an unusual but very hot aerial spit roast, YoonA clinging to your legs as she got manhandled by cocks on both sides of her body, you enjoying as she gagged on her trainer's cock while you used her pussy like a fleshlight.

"OH SHIT, OH MY GOD, UHHHHHh" YoonA moaned as you put her back on her feet but barely gave her any room to breathe, attacking her pussy at full speed in a standing position. She held onto her trainer's shoulder, trying not to lose her balance as you were using her like no guy had done before. "SHIT," she kept moaning, switching sides and letting her trainer give a pounding of her pussy while she choked herself on your cock and tasted her hole from it.

"OH MY GOD, THAT'S SO MUCH COCK, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT," YoonA kept moaning as you grabbed her and started carry-fucking her. Not even five minutes had passed, and all you wanted to do was fuck the shit out of her, making her cheeks clap hard as she moaned and her body bounced. "AH, AH, AH, AH, FUCK," she moaned, you pumping her pussy hard.

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD," YoonA kept moaning as she kept getting passed around like a hot potato, her trainer taking her on a standing doggy as soon as you dropped her back to the floor. "OH FUCK," YoonA screamed, arching her body down. You two kept taking turns on her, spinning YoonA's body from one side to another and penetrating her like crazy. "Is that what you want, you fucking slut?" you asked her.

"YES, YES, THAT'S WHAT I WANT," YoonA answered as you pinned her against one of the gym's pieces of equipment, lifting her long legs. "It's a free-for-all, boys," she said, indicating she wanted to get used like a bitch from both your cocks. "THAT'S GOOD, THAT'S GOOD," she moaned, you putting her leg upwards as she clung onto the equipment and looked at you with sexy eyes. "Get all that fucking dick in that pussy," YoonA begged, licking her chops as she stretched her legs while you two stretched her pussy.

"Get on the floor and ride this cock," you told YoonA, who promptly obliged as she sat on your pole and looked up to her trainer. "Am I riding it good?" she asked him, you spanking her ass as you pumped your cock up her pussy while she sucked her trainer's cock. "Spread that fucking ass," she told you as you did it, pounding her very hard and clapping her cheeks, YoonA answering with crazy squats on your cock, matching your intensity. "OH FUCK," she moaned as you two dueled against each other.

YoonA got herself on all fours, turned her backside towards her trainer as he shoved his cock in her pussy. You stayed on that floor, YoonA sucking and stroking your dick as her trainer slapped her ass. "I'm a bad girl, bad girl, FUCK," she moaned. The trainer grabbed her waist and took her cock further up her pussy. "That dick is so fucking deep, give it to me hard and deep," she commanded.

"Make me take it," YoonA commanded as her trainer grabbed her hair and fucked her even harder. She dropped her head down and dove into your balls. "Lick those fucking balls," you commanded. "FUCK," she screamed, her trainer giving her deep thrusts that hit her cervix nonstop.

You pushed YoonA back in your direction, pumping her pussy hard from down on the floor and reaching to finger her clit. "OH SHITTTTTT!" she screamed as she got ragdolled. YoonA quickly answered, riding your cock before you put up even more heat, destroying her loose pussy with fast thrusts, her trainer muffling her moans with his cock.

"Give it to me," YoonA commanded as you continued to thrust in her pussy. Her trainer grabbed her head, the only sounds coming from the room being her moans and your cock clapping against her pale skin. "OH FUCK THAT'S DEEP," she screamed. "You like that, bitch?" her trainer asks, YoonA nodding positively.

"YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, AH, AH, AH," YoonA continued to moan as she went from riding one cock to another, squatting harder on her trainer. "Bet you like this training," YoonA said to him, bouncing on his cock as you now stuffed her mouth. "Get it, bitch," you said to her, the trainer spreading her ass and pounding her hard.

YoonA kept squatting on her trainer's cock. "OH FUCK," she moaned, spitting on your cock as the trainer hit her deep. "Spin around," the trainer told her, YoonA smiling at you. "Wanna watch that pussy get destroyed just like you did to me?" she asked, her trainer pumping her loose cunt hard.

"Fuck, my pussy is so fucking full, give me all that cock," YoonA said as she started riding her trainer's hard. You kissed her, stroking your cock and eventually shoving it in her mouth as YoonA got destroyed. "Slap that cock in my fucking face," YoonA begged.

Quickly you would want a piece of her too, as you yanked YoonA from her trainer's grasp and grabbed her for another round of carry-fucking. "Destroy that fucking pussy, take me," she begged. You turned her to her trainer, him pounding her in a standing position with YoonA standing on just one leg. "OH MY GOD, OH SHIT, GIVE IT TO ME, THAT DICK IS FUCKING DEEP, I'M SO FUCKING WET," she moaned.

"Just shut up and suck my cock," you said to YoonA as she clung to it not to lose her balance. Her trainer kept grabbing her hair, pushing her body in his direction as he used her hard. YoonA moved her hips, meeting his thrusts as she licked your torso.

"I could do backshots all day on this bitch," the trainer said, but YoonA had different plans, getting on her knees and tasting her incredible pussy, whose scent was all over those two cocks. "That's what I'm talking about, so fucking hot," you said. YoonA bobbed her head all over her trainer's shaft, you groping her tits from behind as she sucked his dick.

"We want more of that pussy," YoonA's trainer said, taking her on all fours in a hot spit roast. "I love that tongue all over my cock," you told her, grabbing YoonA's head and fucking her face. "TAKE IT, MAKE ME FUCKING TAKE IT, FUCK, THAT'S WHAT I FUCKING WANT, FUCKING GIVE IT TO ME," YoonA begs, you two still flipping her around and taking turns fucking her on all fours.

You keep testing new angles to penetrate YoonA's pussy, pounding her in a tilted motion as you stretch her pussy out. "Give it to me, pound that fucking pussy with that big fat cock. You like that shit, don't you?" she says as you take control of her slutty body, her trainer pushing her body against yours as she chokes on his dick and her pussy queefs.

The spit-roasting on all fours keeps going. "OH FUCK, AH YEAH, SHIT," YoonA says as her trainer spanks her ass. "Get in there, slut," she says. "I can't feel my fucking legs; I'm so fucking numb with so much cock," YoonA says. She moves in your direction, squatting on your cock. "Get it, motherfucker," she says. You have different plans, lifting her lower body and diving between her legs to eat her amazing pussy while she lays her head on her floor and sucks her trainer's cock.

YoonA moans as her holes get worshipped on both sides. You give her pussy a little tap before her trainer pins her against the floor. "OH FUCK," she moans, moving her hips against his cock. "Get those big fucking hands in my ass and fuck my pussy," she says. You two take turns giving YoonA a nice round of fucking and spanking. "OH, THAT'S FUCKING DEEP IN MY PUSSY," she screams from time to time.

YoonA puts her ass up and face down as you fuck her. "I love how you fucking spank me," she says as you pick up the intensity and aim to make her ass red. "You like watching that?" she asks her trainer. "Yes," he answers. "Then watch this," she replies.

YoonA drops to the floor, letting you mount on top of her in a prone bone position as her trainer watches. The slippery gym mat gets more and more drenched in sweat as you press her sexy body against it, showing her who owns her pussy. "Give it to me; I want all that fucking cock," she begs. "Stroke for me," she commands to her trainer as he watches you two fucking.

"That dick is so good," YoonA tells you. "You like it deep inside you, pussy?" you ask her. "Yes, take it all the way," she begs. You completely top her like an alpha man. "I AM GONNA FUCKING CUM ALL OVER THAT COCK," she screams, barely able to move as you stuff your cock hard and deep inside her. You two share kisses. "I love the way you fuck me so deep, ahhhhh," she moans.

You pick up the speed, YoonA's cheeks getting clapped hard. "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK," she repeatedly moans. "I take a good dick, don't I?" she asks. "Turn my fucking pussy into your free-use hole," she begs, while still looking at her trainer and commanding him to stroke his dick as she watched you bring YoonA into total submission.

"You like watching him destroy my pussy? It looks so fucking lovely," YoonA asks her trainer. "Come destroy it too," she says, you letting him take his turn as he wraps his arms around her body. "OH GOD, PUSH IT, FUCK," she moans as she looks at you up top, the roles now reversed. "I like that; I like getting fucked like a whore on the floor by those big fucking cocks, oh fuck," YoonA says.

"RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THERE," YoonA commands as she is completely immobilized on the floor. She licks the sweat that falls from her body. "Stroke it for me, watch me be fucking nasty, AH, AH, AH, YES BABY FUCKING TAKE IT," YoonA moans, getting closer and closer to her orgasm. "Did I take it good?" she asks you. "Hell yeah," you answer.

"Keep sharing this fucking pussy," YoonA says as you get back on top of her. YoonA can barely think straight; she just turned into a fleshlight. "Get in that fucking pussy," she says. You attack her pussy hard, pressing her body to the fullest against the floor. "GIVE IT TO ME, GIVE IT TO ME, YES, YES," she begs. She grabs her trainer's legs as your hard thrusts make her cheeks recoil. You hump your body against hers, taking full advantage of your favorite girl.

"I love cumming all over that big fucking cock, SHIT, SHIT," YoonA says. "I'm so spoiled from taking all this fucking cock, I want you to destroy me until I can't walk tomorrow, make me take every fucking inch of it, turn me into your fucking slut," she begs, the whole nine inches of your cock balls deep in her pussy. "Yeah, right there, right there, that's the fucking spot, pound that fucking pussy, shit, shit," she continues to beg.

"Look at that big, fat, fucking cock using my pussy," YoonA says to her trainer, sharing more kisses with you. "TAKE IT, TAKE IT, TAKE IT," she begs, you attacking her pussy harder than ever. "I'M FUCKING COMING," she screams. "FUCK YES, FUCK YES," she continues to scream, both of you closer than ever to orgasming.

"You wanna cum in my face? Cum in my pretty face? I earned it, giving that fucking cum. Give it to me," YoonA begs and promptly gets it, you pulling out and painting her beautiful face white as soon as she says those words. Her trainer follows suit, YoonA taking two huge loads in her face and letting them drip down her body, sucking both cocks one last time, and milking every last drop.

"Thank you for such an amazing morning of hot, sweaty sex," she says, heading towards taking a shower. The day is just starting, and she has much more to offer to you.

Chapter 2 - Anal Dessert

YoonA took you to her ample home, looking as if she was brand new despite a nice session of sweaty sex. As lunchtime was nearing, she started cooking for you and served you a nice meal. "Thank you," you answered. "If you eat it all like a good boy, you'll get a nice dessert," she replied.

You did just as YoonA asked, eating all of her delicious lunch. "Good boy, the dessert will be on the way," she said. But instead of starting to prepare it, YoonA went upstairs, confusing you about what trick she had up her sleeve next. And boy, it was an incredible one.

YoonA descended down the stairs. Her outfit was truly jaw-dropping, her wearing just red lingerie with knee-high black socks and high heels. She started teasing you first, dancing a bit in her amazing outfit, making very seductive moves as she looked at you with her sexy eyes. She moved her ass, shaking it and arching it in your direction, before doing some squats. You weren't aware this was a spoiler of what was about to come.

The stripteasing kept going, YoonA showing you all her sexiness and slowly getting you hard. She pulled her bra to the side, exposing her bare tits and smashing them against each other, before fully taking her bra off and tossing it aside. Next, she started spreading her cheeks, making sexy moves with her butt, and playing with her garters. She walked in your direction, taking off the garter support and leaving herself wearing just her panties, socks, and heels.

YoonA went to the stairs of her house, playing with her panties and touching herself. "You like what you see, baby boy? Does this turn you on? Those pretty red panties?" she asked. "They make me feel so sexy; if you treat me well, you can take them as a trophy," she says.

You are insanely horny and can't resist YoonA's tease as you start touching her ass. "You wanna play?" she asks, hitting your hand just as it grabs her butt. You answer with a couple spanks of your own, grabbing YoonA's panties by her string. "What about these?" she asks, turning around and letting you touch her tits. "Wanna squeeze them? Grope them?" she asks.

You put your thumb in YoonA's mouth, getting it wet as you slowly move down her body. "Good boy, tease my pussy," she says, pulling her panties to the side and letting her touch the hole you had destroyed just a couple of hours ago and that is as wet as ever. You pinch her firm mound. "Come here," she says, you getting close to her and sharing kisses with YoonA, touching her beautiful, firm ass while doing so and hitting it a couple times, making her smile.

You dive to suck YoonA's tits and kiss her neck; the vixen quickly reacts and gets back control. You pull her thong to the side, exposing her tight asshole. She takes your shirt off and starts kissing and licking your torso, slowly getting down as she searches for that bulge under your pants, kissing it while still clothed, before she yanks your belt off, kissing your belly before your cock pops out.

YoonA licks the tip of your already hard cock, teasing it as you take your pants off. She puts it in her mouth, taking it very slow and performing a very sloppy and sensual blowjob. "Oh yeah," she moans, licking your shaft a few times from your balls to the tip. She strokes it, paying extra attention to your sack. "Does it feel good?" she asks. "It feels amazing," you answer her as she takes a bit more of your cock in her mouth.

"Sit down," YoonA commands, and you follow, sitting on the stairs. She gets on all fours, her ass already up as she crawls in your direction for another round of cock-sucking, you opening her legs and stroking your cock as she dives right between them, taking it deep in her throat. "Oh yeah," you moan, YoonA throating and jerking your cock off, getting it very wet and preparing it for that special afternoon, your cock getting bigger and bigger as YoonA works her magic on it, taking it balls deep in her mouth.

"Stay right there," YoonA says as she gets back up. You stretch your arms and pull her panties down, tossing them out as she gets ready to sit on your cock, taking it deep and twerking on it from the get-go before giving it some straight bounces. "Oh yeah," she says.

You push your cock up YoonA's needy mommy cunt and spank her ass while doing so. "Yes, baby, fuck that pussy," she says, taking it like a champion as you pick up right where you left off in the morning. But this time, YoonA is more prepared, retaking control and squatting nicely on your cock while leaving her tits towards your mouth.

You keep hitting YoonA's butt, which only makes her push harder. "Oh shit, fuck me," she moans, pressing her hands against your torso as she bounces perfectly on your cock. You try to counter her, grabbing her ass and pushing your cock upwards. But YoonA shows she can take it well, tilting her body and showing she's gonna come out on top. "Fuck me, fuck me hard, give it to me," she begs, riding you like an Amazon.

"I want you to fuck me right here," YoonA says, getting herself up and putting her right leg on the handrail. Her loose pussy is wide open, and you take advantage of it, quickly putting it back as you grab her hair with one hand and her ass with another, fucking her hard at the handrail.

"YES, RIGHT THERE, AHHHH, AHHH, AHH, OH MY GOD, OH FUCK, OH SHIT, YEAH, YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT, BABY BOY?" YoonA moans as you use her well, just like you did at the gym in the morning. You pick up the speed, spanking her ass and clapping her cheeks nonstop. "LIKE THAT, LIKE THAT, OHHHHH," she moans, putting both her legs back on the ground to cope with the fast thrusts you give to her pussy.

"You're fucking amazing," you tell YoonA. "I know, I've got the best pussy in the whole country," she says, bragging. She moves her hips to meet your thrusts, but you quickly grab her ass and waist and put her in her place. You pull out and spread her cheeks, eating her pussy out. "Yes, baby, worship that pussy and lick that ass," she says, noticing your tongue also sweeping her butthole.

"Get your dick back and spread that ass, oh shit, oh my god," YoonA moans as you pump her pussy hard, groaning as you grope her tits. You kiss her back, grabbing her ass while YoonA arches herself, getting further apart from the handrail. "Yes, fuck it, holy shit," she commands, tilting her body against the handrail.

"AH, AH, YEAH, AHHHHHH," YoonA screams loudly as you keep fucking her pussy nonstop. "Come taste it," you tell her, YoonA turning around and deepthroating your cock nicely. "I taste so sweet on that cock," she says.

"Come upstairs, I have a surprise for you, the dessert you were waiting for," YoonA says. You follow her, amazed by her ass cheeks bouncing up and down as she quickly climbs upstairs despite her high heels. You are ready to do anything this beautiful woman asks, as she gets you to a little room right after the stairs and says the words that would drive you crazy.

"I want you to fuck my ass," YoonA goes straight to the point, stroking your cock as you kiss her. You ramp up the intensity, sucking her tits as she plays with your shaft, paying special attention to the area against the tip.

"Be gentle, baby, my ass is really tight, I'm very selective, only the best boys get to fuck it" YoonA says. "Then I'm gonna fuck that pussy a couple more times before," you say, carrying YoonA and putting your cock back inside her wet cunt, fucking her once again in one of your favorite positions.

"OHHHHHHH," YoonA screams as you clap her cheeks hard. She masterfully bounces on your cock while her body is lifted up. You quickly try to counter, you two dueling like two horny demons. "You're so fucking wet," you tell her. YoonA gets back on the ground, sucking your cock and tasting herself one more time.

"Are you ready? I know I'm ready for you." YoonA teases you. She lies on the couch, spreading her long legs, her pink, used-up pussy contrasting with her very tiny asshole as she fingers herself. You spread her ass, trying to gape it before you put your cock in there.

"Play with my ass, warm it up; that nice pretty ring is all yours now," YoonA says as you stick your tongue out to lick her rectum. "Oh shit, yeah, put your tongue in it," she says, rubbing her clit as she watches you work that tongue all the way deep in her anus.

"That feels fucking great, baby," YoonA says. "You like eating my ass, don't you, baby?" She asks. "Get it ready for that big cock," she keeps commanding, you now extremely focused on eating YoonA's cherry-flavored butthole as best as you can, wiping her ass in your face.

"Put your finger in my ass," YoonA commands as you oblige, sticking your left index finger in her butthole. "Fuck, it feels so soft," you tell her, penetrating it with your finger and thinking of your cock going down that dark tunnel of hers. You switch to your middle finger and tease her. "You wanna take up your asshole?" you ask her. "Yes, give it to me," YoonA answers.

Before you go inside YoonA's backdoor, you push your finger into her mouth and let her taste her anus. She closes her eyes, enjoying as she takes it all, smiling to you as you give a few extra tongueings in her asshole. "Slide your fingers in and out of my ass nice and slow," YoonA commands, letting you tease her for a little bit more. "That feels so good," she says.

"Are you gonna finally stuff that big, fat cock in my ass?" YoonA asks, spreading her cheeks. You struggle at first, but quickly her needy hole swallows your cock up. "Yes, just like that," YoonA says as she enjoys your monster shaft disappearing under her dark hole. "There you go, push all that cock in my ass," she says.

You take it very slow at first, amazed by the extreme tightness of YoonA's ring. "You like that tight little ass all for you?" she asks you. "Work it just like that, nice and slow, push it all the way deep, make me take all that cock," she commands. "HOLY SHIT," she screams as you do so, catching her a bit off guard with your massive size.

"Is that good?" you ask YoonA as she reaches to finger her clit. "Yes, baby, that's good," she answers. "OH MY GOD, OH MY FUCKING GOD, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, YEAH, YEAH," she loudly moans. "Make me take all that fucking dick, give it all to me," she continues, you attacking her ass hard now and making the first clapping sounds.

"You like that, a good fucking ass for you? You like how I spread my long legs for your cock to fuck my tight ass?" YoonA asks as she talks dirty to you. "Keep going, stuff that cock in my fucking ass, oh shit, that feels so good," she moans.

"My ass is all nice and opened up for you," YoonA says as you keep pushing. You bring her legs together, adjusting their position to push your cock even deeper. "YEAH, OH MY GOD, THAT'S FUCKING GOD, AHHHH, OH SHITTTTT," she screams. "OH MY GOD I'M GONNA FUCKING CUM," she continues to scream, her body shaking and bouncing with your hard thrusts, her perky tits jiggling.

"I FUCKING LOVE THAT DICK IN MY ASS," YoonA announces it loudly. You make sure she loves it even more, continuing to push hard as she fingers herself. "You like it too, opening that ass up with your big fucking cock and making me your bitch," she says. She lifts her legs up, offering you her feet for you to taste while you fuck her. "Suck that fucking feet too," she says.

"Lick my fucking toes, they are all for you," YoonA says as you continue to fuck her. She takes her heels off as you start licking her feet. "You like that, dirty boy, don't you?" she asks, shoving her feet in your face. "SHIT," she curses, spreading her cheeks for you. "Such a good fucking cock," she says.

"Take it in your fucking mouth," you say to YoonA, who gets on her knees to suck your cock. "My ass tastes so good," she says, taking a little time to savor it. "You want some more?" you ask her. "Of course," she answers. "Then get to the floor," you reply.

YoonA lies on the floor, you penetrating her backdoor in a spooning position and pounding her hard from the start and making her cheeks clap. "AH, AH, AH, OH MY GOD, YES, SPREAD THAT SHIT, FUCK THAT ASS," she begs. "Are you noticing my goosebumps? It's because it feels so fucking good," she says. You grab her right leg, attacking her ass nonstop. "OH MY FUCKING GOD, YES, THAT'S FUCKING DEEP IN MY ASS, YES, FUCK," she screams.

"THAT'S A LOT OF COCK IN MY FUCKING ASS, OH SHIT," YoonA continues to scream as you fuck her butthole balls deep while groping, pinching, and slapping her tits. "Yes, baby, smack my nipple while you make me take all that dick," she commands. You kiss her boobs and her pretty mouth. "My dirty fucking boy, who loves to stuff his big fucking dick in my ass and make me his dirty bitch," she says, giving you a sexy look.

"Let's go, baby, play with that pussy while you fuck my ass," YoonA says as you finger her cunt and insert a couple of fingers down it. The hard pounding keeps going, YoonA praying to God as she enjoys the hard anal drilling she receives. You spread her cheeks. "You love that fucking ass, don't you?" she asks.

"Oh my God, that fucking big cock is so amazing in my ass," YoonA says, spanking her own cheeks as she gets fucked. "OH YES," she screams. "I wanna ride that big fucking cock," she says. You lie on the floor, YoonA impaling her ass full of your cock in a reverse cowgirl position and smiling as she gets ready to ride.

"Stuff it in there," YoonA says as she takes your cock in her ass. She just spreads her legs and lets you pump upwards as hard as you can. "Yeah, that's good," she says, trying to keep her balance amidst your hard thrusts. "OH MY GOD THAT'S FUCKING GOOD, HOLY SHIT," she moans as her cheeks get clapped hard, you making her body giggle like crazy.

"YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME FUCKING CUM, AREN'T YOU?" YoonA asks loudly. She starts bouncing hard on your cock as you take a little break from your hard thrusting, only to quickly come back with full force. "Look at you, baby boy, you want that fucking asshole so bad you can't stop fucking me hard," she says, taking a massive pounding like a champion.

"TAKE MY LITTLE FUCKING ASSHOLE," YoonA commands as your cock tries as hard as possible to destroy it. YoonA teases you, spinning on your cock for a bit only for you to attack her butthole. "Fucking fill my asshole, spread it open," she begs, you fingering her pussy as you pump her backdoor.

"I'm gonna cum again, FUCK!" YoonA moans as you put a pair of fingers in her cunt. "My pussy is soaking wet because I love dick in my ass," she says, you moving your hand from her pussy straight to her mouth for her to taste. "Keep going, put your fingers in my pussy, I want to feel full," she says. You do just as she wants, finger-fucking her wet cunt. "Let me taste, let me taste it," she begs.

YoonA keeps getting her asshole drilled hard. You now put her under a full nelson and just plow her to loud clapping sounds of your balls into her skin. "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD," she screams as you use her. "You love all my holes, don't you, baby boy? My pussy, my ass, my mouth—you love using them like I'm a good fuck toy," she says.

"Stay there," YoonA says, pulling out as she sits on your face and moves to perform a nice 69 on your fat cock, taking it deep down her throat and tasting the flavor of her ass. "I love stuffing it down my throat balls deep," she says as she does so. She crawls back to the couch, getting on all fours and teasing you, pushing some of her fingers up her asshole.

"I want you to cum all over my pretty face again, but first, I want one more round of you fucking my ass," YoonA says. You promptly oblige, stuffing your cock up her butt in a hurry, grabbing her ass, and fucking it really fast. "Yes, like this," she says.

"Spread that ass open," YoonA says as you tease her asshole going in and out. "Pull my fucking hair," she says, you doing it as she moves her hips against your cock. You spank her butt hard. "That's it, that's what I want, OH FUCK YEAH," she moans. "Take that fucking ass, make me take it like a dirty fucking whore, like the nasty bitch I am," she says, you giving YoonA the best ass-fucking of her life.

"BEG FOR MY FUCKING CUM, BABY BOY," YoonA says as she starts squirting on the couch. "OHHHHHH," she screams loudly, your cock pumping her ass at full speed. "You like when my tight ass squeezes your big fucking cock?" she asks, looking at you. "I can't help myself; that cock is so good. I love cumming all over it, like a fucking nasty girl," she says.

"Push it all the way in, take that cock balls deep in my ass," YoonA says. "I like that, feeling all that cock up my guts," she says. You pull out a bit to look at her beautiful gape. "Admiring your good work, baby boy?" she asks.

"Fuck my ass until you cum in my face, dirty fucking boy," YoonA commands as you get closer and closer. You grab her butt, stuffing her ass full of her cock. You grab her hair, just fucking her with no regard. "USE MY FUCKING ASS TO MAKE YOU NUT, I WANT THAT CUM ALL OVER MY FUCKING FACE, USE THAT FUCKING ASS, MAKE YOURSELF FUCKING CUM, USE IT AS HARD AS YOU WANT, I CAN FUCKING TAKE IT, THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT," she commands, enjoying every second of your hard pounding.

"GIVE ME THAT HOT FUCKING LOAD ALL OVER MY PRETTY FUCKING FACE," YoonA begs as you fuck her so hard you can't take it anymore. You grab her waist hard and pound her at full speed. Her ass finally milks you as you pull out and unload another big load in her face. "Your milk tastes so good," she says as she takes it in her mouth and swallows it all.

"Don't think it's over yet, baby boy; there is still the dinner to go," YoonA says.

Chapter 3 - My Friend for Dinner feat. Sooyoung

YoonA takes her time as she starts to prepare the dinner. You try to kiss and cuddle her, but she rejects your advances. "Don't distract me," she says, not distracted at all, just wanting you to save all the horniness in your hot young body for her dinner surprise.

The doorbell rings just as YoonA has finished making the dinner. "Greet our guest," she tells you as you oblige and open the door for her longtime friend Sooyoung. "Hello, pretty boy, looks like YoonA got a nice gift for her birthday," Sooyoung says as she sees you, greeting you with a couple kisses.

Sooyoung, YoonA, and you have a nice dinner with lots of good food and a couple of glasses of wine and champagne. After all things are done, you three seem to be full, but that can't be further from the truth for YoonA.

"Do you guys want to go to my bedroom?" YoonA asks. "Sure, it's my favorite place in your house, YoonA," Sooyoung says. YoonA kisses you as she opens the door of her bedroom for you to see it for the first time. YoonA opens another bottle of champagne, and you three drink it on her bed. "You know why I invited you here, don't you?" YoonA asks Sooyoung.

"Yes, you can't fool me, YoonA," Sooyoung says. She takes off her shirt and shows you and YoonA her lingerie. "You came well prepared, such a good friend," she says.

YoonA starts massaging your already hard cock, desperate to fuck her in her bed. "I think she likes it," she says with a big smile on her face and looking at Sooyoung. She massages your bulge a little bit, teasing her friend. "Come here," she says, giving the sign to Sooyoung.

Sooyoung and YoonA share some kisses in front of you as a little tease before both of them move to touch your bulging erection. You offer your thumb for Sooyoung to suck, the way she does it already telling you she can suck a dick like a pro. YoonA unveils your massive cock to her friend as it pops out in one go, licking the tip and sucking it a couple times.

"Wanna taste it?" YoonA asks Sooyoung, who takes it deep in her mouth. You thought things couldn't get better, but having two beautiful members of your favorite group with their mouths all over your cock was something you wouldn't expect even in your wildest dreams.

Sooyoung takes your cock deep in her throat masterfully, not using her hands to give you a hot blowjob, smiling at you as she stuffs her mouth full of cock. "Is she good?" YoonA asks as she kisses you. "Well, she's amazing," you answer. "Such a good girl, isn't she?" YoonA asks. "Absolutely," you ask.

"I love that cock; you always manage to find some fine, thick, large cocks, YoonA," Sooyoung says. "Then suck it harder," she tells Sooyoung, pushing her friend's head against your shaft. Sooyoung takes it with ease, choking all over your dick and sending shivers down her spine with her incredible cock-sucking lips.

YoonA takes Sooyoung's lingerie off, stripping her friend naked as she keeps sucking you hard and deep, her face buried between her legs. "If you are loving her mouth this much, wait until you see her pussy," YoonA says as she keeps watching Sooyoung bob her head on your cock. But YoonA wants a piece of it too, taking your cock in her mouth as you get yourself naked in front of both girls.

Sooyoung dives down on your balls as YoonA gives you a perfect no-hands head-bobbing blowjob. "Oh yes," you say as both girls team up on your cock, YoonA licking your tip and then sharing kisses with Sooyoung. "It's been a while since I've seen such a good, big, fat cock, with all due respect to my boyfriend, his is really small compared to this one," Sooyoung says.

"Give me your tongue," YoonA says to Sooyoung as both girls team up to lick your tip together. The girls shove you to the bed, YoonA spitting on your cock as they taste it like ice cream. "I wanna see that tongue going up and down this cock," YoonA says, Sooyoung taking the bottom of your shaft while YoonA takes the top. The two girls then switch. "Suck it," YoonA says, pushing Sooyoung's face against your shaft.

"You like that?" YoonA asks as Sooyoung keeps moving up and down your shaft. "Oh yeah," you answer. "Keep stuffing your mouth on that cock, suck that big fucking dick, you nasty girl," she says to Sooyoung, pushing her face harder down your cock. "Give it to me, let me taste it too," YoonA says, each girl licking one side of your shaft.

"You look so pretty with that cock in your mouth," YoonA says to Sooyoung. "You wanna feel her pussy?" she then asks you, sharing some more kisses. "Get on that fucking cock, ride it," YoonA commands, stripping herself naked too, jerking your cock off and guiding it inside Sooyoung's pussy.

"Ohhhhh my God, it's so big," Sooyoung says, but she starts riding it hard from the get-go, YoonA watching it as she slaps her friend's ass and pushes her to go hard. "That dick is so good in your fucking pussy," YoonA says, letting Sooyoung bounce like a good slut, kissing her friend as she sits in your face.

"Grind on that fucking cock," YoonA tells Sooyoung, who does it just as she asks, moving sensually open and down your cock. "Eat my fucking pussy while she rides you," YoonA commands, her folds all over your mouth.

You feel in heaven, Sooyoung's pussy in your cock and YoonA's in your mouth. "I wanna taste it. Give it to me. Give me that fucking cock; it's mine," YoonA says, pulling your cock out of her friend's pussy to taste the amazing flavor. "Stuff it back in your pussy," she says, spitting on it and making Sooyoung ride it hard as she keeps pushing her body down your shaft. "Take it, take it," she says.

"Ahhh, ahhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhh," YoonA starts moaning as your tongue in her folds makes her feel amazing. You choke Sooyoung while she rides your cock. "Spread that ass," YoonA says, diving to lick her friend's asshole as you start pounding Sooyoung from down low. "That's so fucking sexy, that big fat cock working all over that pussy," she says.

"OH YEAH, THAT'S SO FUCKING AMAZING," Sooyoung screams. She squats hard on your cock, YoonA spanking her ass. "You like that? That big fucking cock in your pink pussy?" YoonA asks her friend. "YES, IT'S SO BIG," Sooyoung answers as she closes her eyes and moans loudly, getting more spanks from YoonA, who now dives to worship your balls.

"Pretty girl, pretty girl, bouncing on that cock," YoonA says as she grinds her pussy in your face and kisses Sooyoung, leaving you the opening to pump up her friend's pussy. "Go sit on his face," she says, the girls swapping positions, YoonA taking your cock in her pussy and grinding hard on it while Sooyoung grinds her ass in her face.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, oh, shit," YoonA moans as she bounces on your cock. "Ride that fucking face," she says to Sooyoung, stretching to spank her ass. You can't resist and pump your cock up her pussy. "That dick is so fucking good, I can't say that enough times," she says, fingering her clit as she takes your pumping. "Oh, fuck, oh God," she moans.

"Cum all over his fucking face, cover him with fucking pussy juice, ah, ah, ah, ah," YoonA commands to Sooyoung as her friend ramps up the intensity of her grinding on your face. YoonA closes her eyes, riding your big fat cock to perfection, her moans driving you insane. "Nice and deep, nice and deep," she repeats. You reach to grab her ass while she reaches to grab Sooyoung's neck.

"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me like I'm your pretty bitch," YoonA begs as you attack her pussy, hammering it as hard as possible. "OH FUCK," YoonA screams. "You wanna pound that fucking pussy hard and deep?" she asks you. Sooyoung decides to watch, licking YoonA's pussy as she enjoys her friend getting stuffed full of your cock.

"You want that for you too, don't you, bitch?" YoonA talks dirty to Sooyoung as her friend dives into her pussy. You grab YoonA's legs, pushing her in your direction for a full nelson pounding while Sooyoung takes more of her friend's clit. "Oh, she wants that pussy. I can't blame her; it tastes so fucking good," YoonA says as you lock her long legs with your arms and pound her hard and fast, Sooyoung's tongue all over her clit.

Sooyoung takes your cock out of YoonA's pussy for a little tasting, spitting on it. "Stroke his cock into my pussy, put it back inside, and stroke it, stroke it, stroke it, good girl," YoonA commands as Sooyoung follows her instructions to perfection. "Now give it to me," YoonA says, putting her legs up for another hard pounding, giving Sooyoung the perfect view of your cock pumping her like a piston.

"You know I like the way you fuck me hard, the way you use me like a bitch, OH FUCKKKKKK," YoonA moans. "Make me cum," she begs, sharing kisses with Sooyoung as her friends rub her belly. YoonA lets Sooyoung taste your cock, pushing Sooyoung's head down your shaft using her feet. "I wanna taste it too," YoonA says, both girls fighting hard for every inch of your big dick.

"I want you to bend over like a good girl," YoonA tells Sooyoung, who obliges. "Let's get her," YoonA says, putting Sooyoung's face down and ass up while you grind your cock against Sooyoung's ass crack. YoonA sucks your cock all the way deep, preparing you for more of Sooyoung's pussy, your cock sliding in easy as she watches it. "That's so pretty," YoonA says.

YoonA tongues Sooyoung's asshole as you feed your cock to her between thrusts into Sooyoung's cunt. "You wanna come, bitch?" YoonA asks her friend, Are you enjoying the perfect view of your cock going in and out of Sooyoung's pussy. "She wants to cum all over that cock," YoonA says, you choking her while spanking Sooyoung's ass.

"Make her take it," YoonA commands as she gets on top of Sooyoung. "I'm so close," Sooyoung moans as you increase the pressure, pumping her hard and firmly grabbing her waist. You take turns spanking both girls' asses. "AH, AH, AH, FUCK," Sooyoung screams. "Yes, take that cock, you pretty bitch, take that big dick; that's a good girl," YoonA talks dirty to her.

"Spank it," YoonA tells you as you oblige and hit Sooyoung's pale ass. The spank makes Sooyoung's brain tilt, her moving her hips up and down your shaft as YoonA watches. You continue to spank her. "Stuff it in her fucking pussy," YoonA says. "I'm so fucking close," Sooyoung tells her. "Then spread that fucking ass," YoonA commands, grabbing Sooyoung's cheeks and pushing her against your massive shaft.

"OH MY GOD, AHHHHHH," Sooyoung moans as her ass recoils hard when pressed against your crotch. "Give it to her, make her cum all over that fucking dick," YoonA says, rubbing Sooyoung's tits as you give her friend very hard thrusts. Sooyoung's hair is now very messy, all over her face. "She wants to cum all over that cock, baby boy," YoonA says.

"Bounce on it, bounce on it," YoonA commands as Sooyoung follows, moving her hips hard to take your pole as deep as possible. "Wrap that pussy all over that cock," YoonA continues to command. "Look at how sexy she is bouncing on that dick, oh shit," YoonA says, you sucking her boobs while fucking Sooyoung.

"OH MY GOD, I'M GONNA FUCKING CUM," Sooyoung screams as she coats YoonA's bedsheets. "Look at that juicy pussy. wanna see it?" YoonA asks as she tastes your cock straight from Sooyoung's cunt, spreading her friend's meaty lips for you to see that pink hole you just used very well. "Look at that pink little pussy all spread for you," YoonA says.

"Such a beautiful pussy, I want it on my face. Sit on my fucking face with that pretty pink pussy," YoonA commands, lying on her bed as Sooyoung gets on top of her. "Ahhhh, ohhh," Sooyoung moans as YoonA starts eating her out. You put one of your legs on the bed, taking YoonA into a mating press position as you get ready to fuck her pussy as hard as possible one more time.

"HMMMM, HMMMMM, HMMMM," YoonA moans on Sooyoung's pussy as you start fucking her. "Ah, fuck, ah, fuck," Sooyoung also moans as YoonA eats her out. You use all your strength, attacking YoonA's pussy at the fullest. "OH SHIT, OH SHIT, AHH, AHHH, AHHH," YoonA moans, clinging to Sooyoung's pussy as she grinds her face on her friend.

You and Sooyoung share kisses as YoonA keeps getting pounded hard. "Fill that fucking pussy, baby," YoonA begs as Sooyoung gets out of her face and decides to watch you destroying her friend's hole. YoonA puts her legs up. "OH FUCK YEAH, SHIT," she moans as Sooyoung kisses her.

"THAT'S FUCKING DEEP, I'M GONNA CUM, I'M GONNA FUCKING CUM," YoonA moans as you slap her bouncy tits and make her body swing with your hard thrusts. You get on top of her, sharing some kisses with her. "You wanna watch that pussy spread for that fucking cock?" she asks Sooyoung. "Yes, I love watching you two fuck," her friend answers.

"Your cock is so fucking nice and hard in my pussy," YoonA says. Sooyoung comes in to taste it a bit. "Yes, taste that juicy pussy, such a good girl," YoonA says as Sooyoung spits all over your cock. "Put it back, nasty girl," YoonA commands, spanking Sooyoung's ass as she guides your cock back inside.

"Oh, it feels so big," YoonA moans as you go back to slowly fuck her. Sooyoung stays there, rubbing her friend's pussy as the two share some kisses. "Spread my fucking legs and make me take it," YoonA commands. "OH YES, OH YES, MAKE ME FUCKING CUM ON THAT DICK," YoonA moans, clinging to Sooyoung's body as she gets pounded. "FUCK YES, FUCK YES, OH SHIT, she screams.

"Keep going, work on that pussy, yes, yes, yes," Yoon moans. You bring her body closer to yours. Sooyoung just admires the view as you keep pounding her friend. "OH, OH, OH," YoonA moans, wet sounds coming out of her pussy as her legs tremble in orgasm. You get close to her, giving YoonA passionate kisses as you continue to fuck her good. "Spread my pussy wide open," she begs.

You take a little break to eat YoonA's pussy out. "You like to lick that amazing pussy, don't you, baby boy?" she asks. You put it back inside, Sooyoung. "That's fucking deep, oh god," YoonA moans, clenching her legs as she gets more and more sensitive. You slap your cock against her clit. "OH FUCK," she moans, squirting all over her bedsheets.

"Suck that fucking cock," YoonA commands to Sooyung, who obliges, closing her eyes and bobbing her head on your shaft using no hands as she tastes her friend's wet juices. YoonA comes to the side to watch, pushing your cock deep inside Sooyoung's mouth. "You like it down your throat, don't you, slut?" she asks.

"Give me that pussy," YoonA tells Sooyoung, spreading her friend's legs as both of you team up to eat her out. YoonA gets your cock wet, moving her head sideways as you insert it back inside Sooyoung's pussy. "OH FUCK, IT'S SO BIG," Sooyoung screams. "Right, isn't it?" YoonA asks, teasing her friend and kissing her.

"Are you scared of him getting deep in your pussy?" YoonA asks Sooyoung, fingering her clit. "So big, so deep in your fucking pussy, huh?" YoonA teases her friend. "OH FUCK," Sooyoung screams, closing her eyes as you hit her cervix. "Take it all in your fucking pussy," YoonA commands, enjoying Sooyoung getting pounded into oblivion while she kisses you. "That pussy is tight, isn't it?" she asks you.

"OHHHHHHH," Sooyoung moans as you give her a deep mating press. "Take it like a good girl," YoonA tells her. "IT'S. SO. FUCKING. DEEP." Sooyoung screams, barely able to handle the heat you give into her pussy. YoonA enjoys her friend getting pounded. "TAKE IT ALL, PLEASE, AHHHH," Sooyoung screams. "OH YES, YES, YES, YES," Sooyoung continues to moan. "AHHHH, AHHHH, AHHHH, AHHHHH," more screams come out of her mouth, YoonA just loving it. "You like that?" she asks her friend, Sooyoung, so wasted she can barely breathe. You two kiss each other as you use Sooyoung like a fuck toy, sticking your cock as deep as possible in her pussy.

YoonA puts her butt in Sooyoung's face and offers you to lick her holes as you fuck her friend. But watching her pussy wide open gives you a different idea, as you stick your cock back inside YoonA and mount on top of her while Sooyoung eats her pussy. "OH YEAH," YoonA moans. You fuck Sooyoung's face to help you with some spit. "Fuck her pretty face," YoonA says, enjoying your cock attacking her pussy deep while Sooyoung's tongue does some great work.

"AH, AH, AH, YES, YES, YES, OH SHIT," YoonA moans. You take turns fucking her pussy and Sooyoung's face. "Does it feel good sticking your cock deep in her throat?" YoonA asks. "Obviously, you answer.

"Fuck that little pussy," YoonA commands as you keep pounding her. Sooyoung now uses both her tongue and hands. "THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT, FUCK, FUCK FUCK," YoonA moans. "Give it to me, give it to me," she begs. Sooyoung looks at the view of your cock drilling her friend's pussy, grabbing you for a little more tasting.

"Stuff it back in," YoonA commands as Sooyoung hands your cock back inside her friend's pussy. She closes her eyes and just lets you fuck her hard. You spank her ass. "I love when you spank it," she says. You two share some kisses. Sooyoung worships your balls. "Lick his fucking balls, good girl," YoonA says.

"That's good, that's good. You wanna make me fucking cum, don't you?" YoonA asks, you pounding her harder than ever and pressing her body against her bedsheets. "Oh, fuck yeah," you start groaning, getting closer and closer to your orgasm. "AHH, AHH, AHHH, AHHH," YoonA screams.

"You wanna let him cum in your mouth?" YoonA asks Sooyoung. You pull out of YoonA, sliding your cock between their mouths as you prepare to cum. Sooyoung bobs her head on your cock as YoonA licks your balls. "Come here," you say, stroking your cock and pointing it at Sooyoung's face.

"I wanna see your cum all over her pretty face," YoonA tells you, getting her wish rather quickly as you ejaculate in Sooyoung's mouth as soon as she says those words. "Look at that boy, tasty juicy cum all over your mouth," YoonA says as Sooyoung enjoys it, kissing the tip of your cock to thank you. "Share with me," YoonA commands, Sooyoung dropping your cum into her mouth as the two share kisses and swap it in front of you. "Swallow," YoonA says, Sooyoung obliging. "What a good girl," YoonA continues, taking your cock in her mouth one last time.

The day with YoonA is over, and what a day it was. You take your belongings and leave her house, already missing her as you walk across the street. You are ready to take a taxi back home until a luxurious car stops in front of you.

"Get in there," YoonA says, you taking the backseat as Sooyoung and she are at the front.

"Where are you taking me?" you ask YoonA. "You'll find out soon," she answers.

YoonA stops the car close to a house where you can already hear the loud noises of a party building up. She arrives, and a group of 6 more girls comes to greet her. "You're late, birthday girl," Taeyeon says. "But now the party can truly begin," she continues.

"We have a surprise you're really going to enjoy, YoonA," Yuri says to her. "Hell yeah, Tiffany, can you please make the announcement?" Seohyun says.

"BRING THE BOYS OUT!!!!" Tiffany screams on the microphone. A bunch of dudes appear out of nowhere, one for each girl, as they start to take their clothes off in front of the girls.

"Are you ready for an all night orgy?" Taeyeon asks YoonA.

"You didn't even need to ask, unnie."

[gyubakeries]

𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗯𝗼𝘆 𝘃𝘀. 𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹 | k.mg [TEASER]

a/n: finally! this collab has been cooking since the start of this year, and after six long months, i'm ready to share the teaser for my fic! that's showbiz, baby! is a collab close to my heart, because i've made some amazing friends through it. i'll forever be grateful for tara and kae for the opportunity to join this collab. without any further ado, here's a short sneak peek into loserboy vs. hatergirl!

shout-out to bennie ( @miniseokminnies ) for this cute banner!! bennie ilysm for making it even better than i envisioned <33 major credits for the title and most of the brainstorming that went into this fic goes to rie ( @okiedokrie-main ) ! without rie, this fic would be non-existent.

and lastly, thank you to all the lovely writers who are a part of this collab for welcoming me into the writer community! i love you all, and i know your fics are gonna be BANGERS!

p.s. don't question why the fic isn't formatted in lowercase please ..... i got too lazy to edit it </3

word count (for the teaser): 352 contents (for the teaser): corporate!au , IT specialist!reader , f!reader , social media intern! mingyu , light swearing , clumsy!mingyu

FULL FIC SET TO RELEASE ON - 30/6/25 @ 7 PM PST

check out the masterlist for that's showbiz, baby! -- here! please support all the wonderful writers participating!

summary: When Kim Mingyu, the new addition to the Social Media department of Sebong Corp., shows up at your office, requesting you to feature in one of the 'promotional tiktoks' he's been assigned to film, you tell yourself that it'll be your last interaction with the puppy-faced, hyper-energetic intern. A few months, twenty tiktoks, and a diabetes-inducing amount of sugar, you can't quite remember exactly why you had wanted to stay away from him in the first place.

You like your job, you really do. Sure, you hadn’t envisioned yourself working in the IT department of Sebong Corp, one of South Korea's most popular media companies, but you were satisfied, somewhat, with the way you had put your computer science degree to use.

However, there were a few moments that really made you question your job, life, and entire existence.

One of those moments being this:

It’s 9:05 A.M., and you’re not even close to reaching the office. You just got off the subway and you’re booking it down the street to reach work before your department head launched off into another lecture on how ‘today’s youth is late to everything in life.��

Behind all the cafes, shops, and people on the crowded streets of the commercial hub of the city, the tall, glimmering glass building of Sebong Corp. comes into view. An eager tourist might stop to take a few pictures of the sight, but all you can focus on is entering said building in time for your meeting.

You swiftly avoid bumping into most pedestrians taking a lazy stroll down the street, and only when the doors of the building are in front of you, you let your guard down and reduce your sprint to a brisk walk.

Big mistake.

After you swipe your ID card at the main entrance, thereby triggering the large glass doors to open, you stop in the office lobby to catch your breath. You’re just about to wave at Sunjae, the new receptionist, when all of a sudden, you hear someone curse loudly behind you, get abruptly pushed forward, and feel a strange wetness on your back. It smells a lot like coffee.

You’re not one for cursing in the workplace. Xu Minghao from HR is slightly terrifying when you see him deal with interns who forget to lower their voice while speaking in language inappropriate for work, and you like to remain in his good books. Now, however, you feel every drop of that restraint leave you as you shout loudly, for even Minghao’s ancestors to hear, “What the fuck?”

fill this form to be added to the taglist <3

head to the masterlist for more!

[miyaz6ki]

can i request sucking off modern streamer kinich while he’s live? ;3

──── ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა if it's not you !﹒⟢﹒

ᯓ★ ── . summ. when you both miss each other so much, you'll show that it's not mualani he's dating.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ pairings. kinich x gn!reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ director's note. hello disciples (sharks), i'm today here vlog with everyone (will be writing a lot today n tomorrw i suppose)

ᯓ★ ── . warnings. nsfw, sucking kinich off, kind of subby!kinich, but he's more of a switch

part 2 here :)

kinich isn't necessarily lively on his streams, but he gets many swoon with his looks, blunt attitude, and sarcastic humor.

often collabing with another streamer; mualani. people often suspect he'd been dating her, their personalities definitely contrasted well.

but the issues only worsened when she came over to his place.

people in his chat always asked "who's the one sitting in the beanbag?!" "is it mualani?!" "oh my gosh he has a partner!!"

he always had ignored them, they didn't really need to know about you yet anyway.

but days pass, and the rumor continues to frequent his chat, especially today's. he couldn't ignore it this time.. the only messages he'd see were asking if him and mualani got together yet.

even the donations were non-stop with the questions. so he decided just to end stream early, the last of us could wait 'till tomorrow anyway.

when he hops into bed with you, he simply buried his head in your chest.

"something wrong, kin'?" you wrap your arms around his back, holding him closer into your warmth. "nothin'. let's sleep."

the next day felt extra lonely, your boyfriend had left for an event, visiting it with none other than mualani. hm.. you couldn't help but be a little jealous, but you did enjoy the silent life, even with your pretty boy being live all the time, you appreciated that he still kept you private, and away from attention.

but at the same time, you wished everyone knew it was you, not mualani. even mualani cheered for you guys! she always denied dating kinich in public eye, but kinich never gave an answer.

so the public took it two different ways; he isn't dating, and he's not confirming it but is dating mualani. they never thought there might be an option outside of it! how damn cruel!!

"so are you dating popular streamer, mualani?!" an interviewer almost shoves the mic up to his mouth. he simply looks around awkwardly, and leaves, he wants to get home as soon as possible. get some rest before the demon hours of streaming begin.

i guess all the missing went elsewhere, down onto his cock of course. it was almost time for him to stream, but he hasn't finished letting you cum for the sixth time yet! fuck..

you offer to suck him off from underneath, so what can he do? he's just a man! (he denied it at first, like a ton of times before reluctantly agreeing.)

he could feel the way your head bobbed down each time, taking his shaft into your throat so well, oh sshit don't gag on him like that, he might cum right in front of the viewers!!

"hnngh- pretty don't choke on it like that.. mmf-" he quickly mutes his mic to take a breather before going on with the next phase of the quest.

bucking his hips into your mouth, he could feel his orgasm build up like blocks. you could feel a grasp of your hair from behind, it was his hand, and he faced his camera away from view.

he bucks his own hips into your throat, oh fuck, don't tease his tip like that while you stroke his cock!! (he wants more)

the more you moaned- it sent vibrations down into the base of his cock, he groaned suddenly arching his back, a blissful hum comes from your mouth once more.

the lustful eye contact you gave him was his last straw, holding on to your other hand that held his he came into your mouth, loudly whining, you show your mouth off to him as you stand up from your original spot underneath the gaming setup; swallowing every last drop of his semen.

his lips eager to reach yours, he kisses you; tasting the saltiness mixed with the taste of your mouth, it was euphoria. everything he could ever ask for. he couldn't wait to show his viewers the ring on your finger after he'll propose tomorrow.

i'll write fluff part 2 of this soon :)

[freepassbound]

11. Dogs or cats? 

28. What turns you off? 

31. Do you have any siblings? 

41. Are looks important in a relationship? 

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? 

61. Do you believe in soul mates?

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? 

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?

77. What is your favorite quote and why? 

87. If you were the president, what would you do? 

11: I have to go dogs - that's all the family ever had, since 3/4ths of us are allergic to cats.

(including me, though it's been literally decades since I've spent any length of time around a cat; other of my allergies have moderated a bit - the hope is that one has too)

28: Conservative politics, smoking, and poor grammar are probably the top three.

31: Yes - a younger sister.

41: I think that certainly at the beginning there has to be some kind of attraction? Though that means something different to every individual person. And I like to think that they get less important as time goes on - that's your person, no what how their appearance may change.

60: Total, full-blown, love? I don't think so - that requires intimate exchange of all sorts. I think there can be a spark of more-than-usual attraction at first sight that can lead to love (and then be read backward as love at first sight).

61: I think there are people who are so incredibly compatible that it may seem fated that they would have ended up together... but getting together takes work and staying together takes work - it's not the work of the gods or what-have-you.

65: Things people here don't know about me? People in 'real life'? Both?

Almost no one in 'real life' knows many of the things I talk about here. Almost no one here knows much about what I do in 'real life'. I guess in some senses I consider that a privilege reserved to very select people.

67: Nope. Not sure I ever really did - at least not conventionally. I believe I had a stuffed bear but he was tucked up at the head of the bed?

77: "I love my country because it is mine." - Stephan Orbelian

There's a rootedness in it that also ties in with a stubbornness and a contrariness that are all strong elements in me. I actually relate to it more powerfully in terms of a more local perspective - thinking about my city, and also to some extent my state: this is a place that has been through very hard times (and is still not exactly in fine fettle). But to me it's the best place in the world: I know it, I love it, and I work for it (in my ways) and I defend it - because it is mine; it is part of me, as I am part of it.

87: Probably a number of politically unwise things having to do with executive orders and smack-talking Supreme Court justices and Congresspeople. The current one actually seems to be doing quite well legislatively, given the political environment, so better him than I.

[ryin-silverfish]

A Guide to the Chinese Underworld (and what it isn't)

As many FSYY and fox posts as there were on my blog, I am actually a huge fan of the Chinese Underworld mythos. Mostly because I was once a morbid little kid that loved reading about the excavations of ancient tombs, and found the statues depicting hellish torture in the Haw Par Villa "super cool".

Apart from the aesthetics, the history of its evolution is also fascinating. Most of us, Chinese or not, only know the most popular version of the Underworld——the "Ten Kings" system, yet that isn't always the case. So today, I'll start off with a short summary of that.

In pre-Qin era, there was already this generic idea of a "Realm of the Dead" called the Yellow Spring, Youdu, or Youming, but we know very little about it.

Then, in the Han dynasty, two ideas start to emerge: 1) the Underworld is a bureaucracy, 2) the God of Mt. Tai ruled over the dead.

This early bureaucracy might not function as an agent of punishment; the main focus was on keeping the dead segregated from the living so they wouldn't bring diseases and misfortune to the latter, as well as using those ghosts to enforce collective punishments upon people for their lineage's wrongdoings while they were still alive.

Post-Han, after Buddhism entered China and took root, its idea of karmic punishments and reincarnation and the figure of King Yama was merged with folk and Daoist ideas of the Underworld bureaucracy, and, came Tang dynasty, resulted in the "Ten Kings" system that first appeared in Dunhuang manuscripts.

It was very rudimentary and far from well-established, as seen in Tang legends, with some adopting the Ten Kings system, some sticking to the Lord of Mt. Tai and some favoring King Yama, and overall little agreements on who's in charge of the Underworld.

But the "Ten Kings" system would become the mainstream version from then onwards, used in Ming vernacular novels and made even more popular by folk religion scrolls like the Jade Records (Yuli Baochao).

As such, most points in the following sections will be based on the fully matured "Ten Kings" system of the Underworld, as seen in the Jade Records and JTTW.

What happens when you die?

(This is a fictionalized walkthrough of the posthumous fate of souls under the "Ten Kings" system. I try to stick to the very broad progression outlined in the Jade Records, but many creative liberties are taken on the details.)

Let's say there's a guy named Xiao Ming, and he had just died of a heart attack. Bummers. What now?

Well, the first thing he saw would be the ghost cops.

There isn't really an unanimous agreement on who these ghost cops are: they may be a pair of ghosts in white and black robes, wearing tall hats (Heibai Wuchang), they may have the heads of farm animals (Ox-Head and Horse-Face), or they can just be generic ghost bureaucrats. For convenience's sake, let's say it was the first scenario.

"Who are you guys and where are you taking me?"

"Glad you asked!" The taller ghost cop, being the cheerful one of the pair, replied. It wasn't very reassuring, considering that his tongue was dangling out of his mouth way further than it should. "I'm the White Impermanence, my sour-looking colleague here is the Black Impermanence, and we are taking you to the City God's office."

This City God, a.k.a. Chenghuang, is just like how it sounds: the divine guardian of a city, who also pulls double duty as the head of the local Dead People Customs Office. They are usually virtuous officials deified posthumously, and in JTTW, they fall under the category of "Ghostly immortals", together with the Earth Gods a.k.a. Tudi.

So Xiao Ming went with the two ghost cops——not like he had much of a choice, made his way through the long queue at the City God's office, and was now standing in front of a gruff old magistrate in traditional robes.

"Name?"

"Wang Xiao Ming."

"Age and birth dates?"

"21, April 16 2003…"

After he was done asking questions, the City God flipped through his ledger, then picked up a brush, ticked off Xiao Ming's name, and told him to go get his pass in the next room. More waiting in a queue. Wonderful.

"I never heard anything about needing a pass to get to the Underworld," the girl in front of Xiao Ming asked the ghost cops, who were standing guard nearby. "Is this a new policy or something?"

"Yeah. In the old days, we'd just drag y'all straight to the Ghost Gate." The ghost cop in black said, then muttered to himself, "Fuckin' paperworks and overpopulation, man…"

(This "Dead People Passport" thing was popularized in the middle-to-late Ming dynasty, as shown by the discovery of such documents inside tombs in southern China. )

(It might have evolved from similar passes to the Western Pure Land in lay Buddhism that recorded their acts of merits. Which, in turn, might be traced back to the "Dead People Belongings List" of Han dynasty, to be shown to Underworld bureaucrats so that no one would take away the dead's private property down there or something.)

Anyways, after he received his pass, Xiao Ming departed together with the rest of the bunch, to be led to the Ghost Gate. It was like the world's most depressing tourist group, where instead of tour guides, you got two ghost cops in funny hats, and the only scenery in sight was the desolation of the Yellow Spring Road.

They weren't the only travellers on the road, though. Xiao Ming noticed other groups moving in the far distance, behind the fog and the flickering ghostfire, led by similar figures in black and white.

It made a lot of sense; realistically, there was no way two ghost cops could fetch hundreds of thousands of dead people all by themselves.

(SEA Tang-ki mediums believed there were multiple Tua Di Ya Peks——Hokkien name for the Black and White Impermanences, working for different Underworld Courts.)

At last, the Ghost Gate stood in front of Xiao Ming, guarded by two towering figures. Normally, they'd be Ox-Head and Horse-Face, like what you see at Haw Par Villa's Underworld entrance.

However, older Han dynasty works like Wang Chong's 论衡·订鬼 also mentioned two gods, Shenshu and Yulei, as guardians of the Ghost Gate, who would use reed ropes to capture malicious ghosts and feed them to tigers, making them possibly the earliest incarnation of "Gate Gods".

So here, they were what Xiao Ming sees, standing side by side like proper doormen, silently watching herds of ghosts being funneled through the entrance.

The place was more crowded than a train station during the CNY Spring Rush; the ghost cops had already said their quick goodbye and left to fetch the next group of dead people, leaving the resident officials of the Underworld proper to maintain order and quell any would-be riots.

Now you started seeing the Ox-Head and Horse-Face guys, poking at unruly ghosts with their pitchforks and dragging away the violent ones in chains. Among their ranks were other monstrous beings, blue-faced yakshas and imps, but also regular dead humans who look 100% done with their jobs, like the lady who stamped Xiao Ming's pass when it was finally his turn.

After this point, Xiao Ming had entered the Underworld proper, and his next destination would be the First Court, led by King Qin'guang. Here, his fate should be decided by what is revealed in the King's magical mirror.

If Xiao Ming was a good guy, or someone who had done an equal amount of good and bad things in life, he'd be sent straight to the Tenth Court for reincarnation. However, if the mirror, while replaying his life events, had displayed more evil deeds than good ones, he'd be sent to one of the 2nd-9th Courts for judgment and then punished inside the Eighteen Hells.

Each of the Ten Kings was also assisted by ghostly judges. Many of them were righteous and just officials in life who had been recruited into the Ten Courts posthumously——Cui Jue from JTTW is one such example, while others were living people working part-time for the Underworld, like how Wei Zheng, Taizong's minister, works part-time for the Celestial Bureaucracy in JTTW.

We decide to be nice to Xiao Ming, so, after reliving some embarrassing childhood incidents and cringy teenage phases in front of a bunch of dead bureaucrats, he was found innocent and sent to the Tenth Court.

The queue here was almost as long as the First Court's, stretching on and on alongside of the banks of the Nai River. King of the Turning Wheel made his judgment without even lifting his head when it was Xiao Ming's turn:

"Path of Humans, male, healthy in body and mind, ordinary family. Next!"

Exiting the Tenth Court building, Xiao Ming saw the Terrace of Forgetfulness, standing tall before six bridges, made of gold, silver, jade, stone, wood, and…some unidentified material. Before he could get a good look at them and the little dots moving across those bridges, he was hurried into the Terrace by the ghostly officials.

Now, both JTTW and the Jade Records mention multiple bridges across the Nai River. In the former, there is 3, and the latter, 6. The bridges made of precious materials are for people who will reincarnate into better lives, as the wealthy, the fortunate, and the divine, while the Naihe Bridge is either the common option or the terribad shitty option.

However, the Naihe Bridge proved to be so iconic, it became THE bridge you walk across to reincarnate in popular legends.

Anyways, back to Xiao Ming. He found himself standing in a giant soup kitchen of sorts, with an old lady at the counter, scooping soup out of her steaming pot and into one cup after another.

This is Mengpo, the amnesia soup granny; according to the Jade Records, she was born in the Western Han era, and a pious cultivator who thought of neither the past nor the future, only knowing that her surname was Meng.

Made into an Underworld god by the Jade Emperor, she cooks a soup of five flavors that will wipe the memory of the dead, making sure they do not remember any of their past lives once they reincarnate.

It tastes awful. Like what you get after pouring corn syrup, coffee, chilli sauce, lemon juice and seawater into the same cup.

Such was Xiao Ming's last thought, as he gulped down the soup, and then he knew no more.

Things you should know about the Chinese Underworld:

1. It's not the Christian Hell.

Rather, the Chinese Underworld functions somewhat like the Purgatory, in that there are a lot of torment, but the torment's not eternal, however long the duration may be. Once you finish your sentence, you get reincarnated as something else, though that "something else" is not a guaranteed good birth.

Other people can also speed up the process via transferring of merits: hiring a priest/monk to chant sutras and perform rituals, for example, or performing good deeds in life in dedication to the dead, or they can pray to a Daoist/Buddhist deity to save their loved ones from a dreadful fate.

Interestingly enough, a thesis paper I read mentions that, whereas Buddhist salvation from the Hells was based on transference of merits——you give monks offerings and pay them to chant sutras, so they can cancel out the sinners' bad karma with good ones, Daoist ideas of salvation tend to involve the priest going down there, sorting it out with the Underworld officials, and taking the dead out of the Hells themselves.

(The paper also stops at the Northern-Southern and Tang dynasties, so the above is likely period-specific.)

2. Nor is it run by evil demons.

Underworld officials are not nice guys and look pretty monstrous and torture the sinful dead, but they are not the embodiment of evil. Rather, the faction as a whole is what I'd call Lawful Neutral, who function on this "An Eye for An Eye" logic, where every harm the sinner caused in life must be returned to them, in order for their karmic debts to be cleansed and move on to their next life.

They can absolutely be corrupt and incompetent and take bribes——Tang dynasty Zhiguai tales and Qing folklore compendiums featured plenty of such cases, but that's a very mundane and human kind of evil, not a cosmic/innate one.

This is just my personal opinion, but if you want to do an "evil" Chinese Underworld? It should be a very bureaucratic evil, whose leaders are bootlickers to the higher-ups, slavedrivers to their rank-and-file workers, and bullies who abuse their power over regular dead people.

Not, y'know, Satan and his infernal legions or conspiring Cthulu cultists.

3. The Ten Kings are not Hades.

Make no mistake, they still have a lot of power over your average dead mortal. But in the grand scheme of things? They are the backwater department of the pantheon, who only show up in JTTW to get pushed around and revive the occasional dead people.

When Taizong made his trip to the Underworld, the Ten Kings greeted him as equals——kings of ghosts to the king of the living. If they see themselves as equal in status to a mortal emperor, then, like any mortal emperors, they are subordinate to the Celestial Host, and the balance of power is not even remotely equal or in their favor.

Also, it isn't said outright, but under the Zhong-Lv classification of immortals JTTW is using, Underworld officials will likely be considered Ghostly immortals, the lowest and weakest of the five types, much like Tudis and Chenghuangs.

Essentially: they are ghosts that are powerful enough to not reincarnate and linger on and on, spirits of pure Yin as opposed to true immortals, who are beings of pure Yang.

It's pretty much the shittiest form of immortality, the result you get when you try to speedrun cultivation (the Zhong-Lv text also made a dig at Buddhist meditation here), and if they don't reincarnate or regain a physical body, there is no chance of progressing any further.

Oh, and fun fact? In the Song dynasty, commoners and literati elites alike believed that virtuous officials in life would get appointed as ghostly officials in death.

However, the latter viewed it as a punishment. Which was strange, considering how they still held the same position and the same amount of authority, just over dead people instead of living ones, so there should be no big losses, right?

Well...it was precisely the "dead people" part that made it a punishment. See, a lot of the power and prestige they had as officials came from the benefits they could bring to their families and kins and native places, as well as the potential wealth and reputation bonuses for themselves.

A job in the Dead People Supreme Court would give them the same workload, but with none of those benefits. Since all the dead people had to reincarnate eventually, they couldn't have a fixed group as their power base, or keep their old familial ties and connections. At most, they could help out an occasional dead relative or two.

Like, working for the Underworld Courts was the kind of deadend (no pun intended) job not even living officials wanted for themselves in the afterlife. That's how hilariously sad and pathetic they are.

4. In JTTW at least, they aren't even the highest authorities of the Underworld.

That would be Bodhisattva Ksitigarbha, who is technically their boss, though he seems to be more of a spiritual leader than someone who is actually involved in running the bureaucracy.

Which makes sense, since he has sworn an oath to not attain Buddhahood until all Hells are empty, and his role is to offer relief and salvation to the suffering souls, not judging and punishing them.

Now, historically...even though Ksitigarbha in early Tang legends was still the savior of the dead, he seemed to be unable to interfere with the judicial process of the Underworld, merely showing up to take people away before they were judged by King Yama.

However, in the mid-Tang apocryphal "Sutra of Bodhisattva Ksitigarbha" (地藏菩萨经), he had evolved into the equal of King Yama, with the power of supervision over his judgements. By the time the Scripture on the Ten Kings came out, in artistic depictions, the Ten Kings had become fully subservient to him.

5. Diyu usually refers to the prison-torture chamber part, not the courthouse, nor is it the entirety of the Underworld.

And for the majority of souls that haven't committed crimes, they'll only see the courthouse part before they are sent to reincarnation. That's why I personally don't like, or use the name Diyu for the Chinese Underworld: I prefer the term Difu ("Earth Mansions"), which encompasses the whole realm better.

Also: even though historical sources like the Scripture on the Ten Kings and Jade Records seem to suggest that the dead were just funneled through this Courthouse-Prison-Reincarnation pipeline with no breaks in between, in practice, that isn't the case.

According to popular folk beliefs, after the dead were done with their trials/sentences, they stayed in the Underworld for a period of time and led regular lives, while functioning as ancestor spirits and receiving offerings.

Which would imply that the Underworld had a civilian district of sorts, populated by regular ghosts, making the whole realm even less of a direct Hell/Purgatory equivalent.

6. It is located in a different realm, but still part of the Six Paths and doesn't exist outside of reality.

In Buddhist cosmology, like the Celestial Realm, the Underworld is part of the Realm of Desires and thus subject to all the woes of samsara.

The pain and misery of the Path of Hell may be the worst and most obvious, but becoming a celestial being isn't the goal of serious Buddhists either: despite all the pleasures and near-infinite lifespan they enjoy, they are not free from samsara and will eventually have to reincarnate.

So if, say, the world is being destroyed at the end of a kalpa, all beings of the Six Paths will perish alongside it, leaving behind a clean slate for the cycle to start anew. The dead won't all end up in the Underworld and face eternal damnation.

7. The Black and White Impermanences would not appear in the Underworld pantheon formally until the Qing dynasty.

The concept that when you die, you get fetched to the Underworld by petty ghost bureaucrats is already well-established in Tang legends, but these were just generic ghost bureaucrats in all sorts of colorful official robes, with yellow being the most common color.

The idea of there being two specific psychopomps in black and white would only become popular in the Qing dynasty. Mengpo is kinda similar: although she existed before the Ming-Qing era as a goddess of wind, venerated by boatmen, her "amnesia soup granny" incarnation came from the Jade Records.

[paisleypens]

idk if youve done something like this, but a you posted that with y/n and spencer and theyre having fun but theres an old tweet about how spencer likes y/n!! hope this makes sense <3

winter break stirred up some writing motivation, sorry to everyone who has expected more lol. this is a GENIUS idea anon, tysm <3

yeah, i posted that... | spencer agnew x reader

gender neutral reader, second person, embarrassed spence, real tweets from the boys!!

~~~

You were all in for another shoot on the Smosh Pit set, and today was no ordinary one. The much-anticipated episode of "You Posted That?" featuring Spencer Agnew, Shayne Topp, and you, Y/N, had been scheduled for months. You’d joined Smosh not too long ago after building a successful career as a standalone YouTuber, and this was your first time competing on the popular show. Ian Hecox, as the host, was already hyping up the event with his usual mix of sarcasm and self-deprecating humor.

“Welcome to another episode of ‘You Posted That?’” Ian announced dramatically. “Today, we’ve got three contestants who are about to question their own digital footprint. Please welcome Shayne Topp, Spencer Agnew, and Y/N L/N!”

The small audience on set cheered, and you waved nervously. Spencer, seated next to you, leaned over. “You’re going down,” he teased, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Big words from someone whose tweets are probably all queerbaiting jokes,” you shot back, earning a laugh from Shayne.

“Let’s get started with Round One: ‘You Posted That?’” Ian said with the same exaggerated cadence. “Here’s how it works: we’ll show you one of your posts with a few keywords blanked out. If you can guess the missing words correctly, you get five points. If not, zero points. Got it?”

The first round began with Spencer. The tweet displayed read: “I've had the _____ ____ ___ stuck in my head all day, but only the part where ___ _________ says "___ _ ___ _ ______".” After laughter rang out and a few moments of squirming, it clicked and he guessed “Naked Mole Rat” "Ron Stoppable" and “can I get a booyah” Ian grinned. “Correct!” he exclaimed, as Spencer let out a celebratory “YES!”

Next up was Shayne, whose post read, “______ _____________ > Everything else” Shayne furrowed his brow. “It doesn't fit but... Raisin' Canes?” he guessed, earning howls of laughter when Ian revealed the actual tweet: “Nature Documentaries” Spencer groaned, “Next time just go outside and scream 'I'm smarter than you.”

Then it was your turn. The screen showed, “Me: 'I’m going to bed early tonight.' Also me at 2 AM: Watching _ _____ ______ _ ____ _____” After some thought, you guessed “a woman eating a live squid,” earning you a solid five points. “Weird, but correct!” Ian cheered, as Spencer gave you a playful side-eye. “Real quirky to watch mukbangs,” he muttered. "Look at the year posted!" You laughed back.

The second round of guesses brought even more chaos. Spencer’s next tweet read: “If you _____ ____ _____ while working from home alone, you are a cop” He confidently guessed “wash your hands,” but Ian burst out laughing as he revealed the true answer: “brush your teeth.” Spencer buried his face in his hands as Shayne and you doubled over.

Shayne’s second tweet was equally absurd: “there's no "I" in ____________” He guessed “Unfunny,” but the actual word, “peamupbubber,” had everyone in stitches at the duality.

When it was your turn again, Ian read out: “Why do my plants thrive but not my ______ ______? Asking for a friend.”

"To be clear, this was cute in 2016," and after some embarrassed sighs, you guessed “social life,” earning another five points. Spencer groaned. “Stop being good at this!” he joked.

Then came the final round of tweets. Spencer’s face turned pale as his last post appeared on screen. It read: “If ______ ever gave me a chance, I’d drop everything. Just saying.” The room went quieter, and all eyes turned to him.

“Oh no,” he muttered under his breath.

“Spencer,” Ian said, barely containing his grin. “Care to fill in the blanks?”

Shayne burst out laughing "Dude, don't die on this show of all of them", and you stared at Spencer, your jaw dropping. “Spencer, what is it?” you demanded, though you couldn’t stop the laughter bubbling up.

“It was a long time ago! Before you joined Smosh! I didn’t think it would ever come up... its Y/N.” Spencer stammered, his face turning bright red.

“Wait, so you had a little crush on me, huh?” you teased, unable to resist.

“Little is an understatement,” Shayne chimed in, wiping away tears of laughter.

“Well,” Ian said, looking at Spencer with a playful smile, “5 points!”

The room erupted into cheers as Spencer laughed it off, but the embarrassment was clear as day. You kept looking at him, trying to give him the hint, but anytime he saw your bright smile, he turned crimson.

The shoot wrapped up fairly quickly after that, with your other posts being just as recognizable to you. Being the rightful winner you walked out happily, nearly skipping back to your desk next to the games pod. You saw Spencer awkwardly approach your desks before you had a chance to sit down.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about that. I had no idea that tweet even existed anymore... it was just- I don't know. I just hope I didn't make you uncomfortable," He apologized.

You quickly rebutted, "No no not at all, Spence. It was really sweet actually. I have never told you this but I felt the same way when I first joined."

"Wait really?" Spencer looked up at you with surprise and unbelievable relief.

"Might still feel that way now. If you do too?"

"Yes! I mean, yes, I do. I never got over it."

"Your crush on me?"

"Yeah, I posted that for a reason."

[shadowsandsunset]

Ok, ok, I know this is pedantic, but in Stranger Things fanfictions when Eddie is selling weed and they give absolutely outlandish prices, not just for the 80s but for today too, it makes me laugh and disengage with the narrative.

Below the cut is some information that will help you write about Eddie selling weed. I've been around stoner culture for over 20 years at this point so feel free to ask questions.

Eddie is NOT charging $25 for a joint in 1986. Eddie would not be charging more than a few dollars at most for a joint in 1986 since you could get an ounce for $100 or less back then. An ounce makes about 56 joints of about half gram size. Now blunts, on the other hand, would be a little more expensive as they contain more weed, and you could get about 28 blunts of about a gram each. There are 28.35g in an ounce but most stoners just say 28g to an ounce.

So, he'd charge $2-3 a joint, and $4-5 a blunt, depending on his own markup.

A joint is rolled in white rolling papers, kinda like the thin sheets of a bible or like those oil blotting papers for makeup. Job or Raw are popular brand options.

A blunt is rolled in brown cigarillo paper, sometimes mixed with tobacco but not always. Think Swisher Sweets or Dutch Masters or Zigzag...you can Google those if you need.

Weed, by itself, is usually sold by quarter or half or full ounces but can also be sold by the gram. Usually, it costs just a bit more to buy by the gram because it's more work for the dealer. So, Eddie would have to be somewhat good at math and doing math on the fly. He'd also have a scale to measure it out with.

Weed is sold in a variety of containers, but the most common is cheap sandwich baggies. The 100 for $1 ones. Usually twisted and tied with a knot. You can also find dealers who use shopping bags, jars, paper towels and more depending on what they have on hand. From what we see in the show, Eddie uses cheap sandwich bags.

Eddie also wouldn't be selling high quality weed. He's probably selling "mid" or mid-grade weed. He might on occasion sell dirt/ditch weed, which is lower quality usually with seeds and stems instead of just bud/flower. He would probably not have access to loud/high tier weed. However, Argyle would, being from California, which was at the time, and remains, a stoner's paradise.

Ok, I'm going to end this here but if you have any questions please ask! Accurate fanfiction scratches my ND brain.

[elbiotipo]

First time I heard about an ancient "race war" between Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens was in an X-men comic, when it was argued that just as they couldn't get along and one of the groups had to be eliminated back then, today humans should do the same to the mutants before mutants do it to them. Which is extra funny because the argument is wrong about the fictional mutants, but it was also wrong about the historical Neanderthals.

but it seems to be a pseudoscience fact weirdly popular in the United States (weirdly, sometimes the Neanderthals are portrayed as victims that were eliminated because of their inferiority, and sometimes they're portrayed as super strong savages that destroyed themselves for being too violent)

I think there's a lot of sensationalization about Neanderthals in particular because they were a different human *species*, but species, especially with ancient humans, is a very fuzzy concept. Neanderthals were highly specialized, one could argue, but the evidence that reaches us is that they had complex tool use just like us, social structures just like us, and so on. There seem to be more similarities than differences. And of course, there's the fact that they interbred with Homo sapiens.

I think that the most "wow" part of Neanderthals, the fact that they interbred with modern humans, is in fact the thing that most desmistifies them. Because think of it this way. If Neanderthals and Homo sapiens had children, and those children also had children such as they actually left traces in our genome, it means that someone must have raised those children so that they reached adulthood and transmitted them the cultural customs to survive and indeed have friends and partners (because try surviving the ice age alone). So certainly neither was so alien to the another that this couldn't happen.

The question is always posited "where Neanderthals human" and my answer is to me is that certainly, for Homo sapiens and Neanderthals, they didn't seem to make much of a difference themselves.

Now, I'm not claiming that there were harmonious equal families of Neanderthal and Sapiens around in a romance story (but they coexisted for thousands of years, it must have happened more than once), it was certainly a brutal time to survive. But somehow, in those times, you had to raise the next generation, and they did. If this happened, it must have mean that those people were part of their societies in one way or the other.

It's also worth thinking about how much of the physical differences between sapiens and neanderthals, and between many archaic human species indeed, are because of diet and the harsh environment. Certainly modern skeletons in an age of agriculture have differences with pre-agriculture humans, as well as differences between populations. Would you really separate a medieval farmer from a neolithic hunter just based on that, though? I doubt it. There's plenty of debate about how significant the differences were between ancient humans, and some are indeed between the range of a population such as modern humanity.

That's the arguing between "lumpers" and "splitters", are we more similar or more different to our ancestors? What would happen if you saw a Neanderthal in modern times? If you saw someone like below in the street, would you say he's a different species, or just a guy with a bony face?

(a model from the Neanderthal museum in Mettman, Germany)

[chuluoyi]

found you

- gojo satoru x reader

in a world in which he isn't the strongest and you're the high school's sweetheart, fate brought you to him once again

genre/warnings: reincarnation au, fluff/comfort

notes: a sequel to everything, but not anything

general masterlist

Everyone knows you. You hold most of the popular guys' hearts in your hand and either break them unknowingly or innocently, and despite that, they still don't have it in them to hate you.

And of course, the school's clown, Gojo Satoru, knows you too. He knows you by name and face, but never had the chance to really talk to you directly.

Why? First, he just simply didn't bother, and second, because there was already another girl plaguing him—the girl of his dreams.

And he didn't mean it figuratively... there's indeed a girl haunting him every once in a while in his dreams. A girl whose face was always obscured from his mind, whom he couldn't picture outside the realm of his slumber. Most of the time it was a happy dream, enough to bring a smile to his face every time he woke up.

But sometimes, it was the most disturbing nightmare.

There would be blood, the girl's empty eyes and still body, and him screaming out at her to not die. But then he couldn't do anything—or even see her open her eyes—as he fell into an abyss and awakened in pure terror.

Satoru was convinced someone held this massive grudge on him for pranking them that they resorted to curse him with voodoo or something. Why else would he keep having these dreams about the very same girl? It was clearly a work of something greater.

You were just not interested in romance. At least not with the guys who were after you up until now.

Or perhaps, because there was this guy in your dreams that captivated you so much that you chose to ditch those real guys for him. This imaginary person.

You were going insane. You were sure of it.

When you explained your affliction to your best friend Riko, she shot you a very bombastic side eye but tried to get you to describe the boy in your dreams regardless.

"He..." you faltered. His face was always blurry in your mind's eye. There were little things that you were sure of. "He has a really cute grin? Crinkling eyes? Like he just likes to smile?"

"Y/N, did you hear yourself?" Riko asked you incredulously. "Are you sure it isn't one of the guys in your anime shows? I'm telling you, watching them too much makes you delusional."

And so your girl talk with her ended up with her pushing you to try this hit dating app that guarantees you to go on at least one date due to its many fascinating features. You tried it on sheer whim and didn't even use your real name. You had been swiping right and left, before suddenly stopped when you saw whose profile popped up in your screen.

Gojo Satoru.

He was in your grade, and he was hard to miss. The school's biggest troublemaker who held the highest record of being sent to the disciplinary room. You never got to talk to him, and before today you were sure you wouldn't even look at him twice. So he plays these things too?

Your type definitely wasn't delinquents or attention-seekers. But why is it that the more you gaze at his profile picture—of him with this widest grin and that funny round glasses—the more you are intrigued?

In the end, you swiped right.

Just because he didn't bother to be in a serious relationship or had a girl who held onto him in his dreams, it didn't mean that he was shying away from real life girls. Satoru, as much of a headbanger as he was, was popular. Some girls were into him and he didn't exactly let his chances to fool around pass.

Girls with questionable virtues though. Suguru, whose popularity was as much as him just in the right way, would always say that his tastes were bad. Shoko would straight up mock him as a wimp, for not having the courage to go after the right girl, such as you.

And so when on one of his boring days that he played with a dating app he found a profile who swiped him right with a picture that was you but a name that wasn't, he was taken by surprise and twice as curious.

For one, he knew it was you. And hey, you were interested in him?

Satoru took up on that offer. Taking advantage of it as now he had the chance.

The two of you exchanged messages in the dating app. He'd tell you his thoughts or crack funny jokes, and you'd reply with these many laughing emojis and stickers.

Until one day, when your conversation went like this...

you: really? but girls must be lining up for you and you could've had your pick from them gojo: nah most of ‘em all boring you: what a red flag. after a while surely you'll find me boring too gojo: you? haha no. boring people don't do things you do you: ...what do you mean?

You and him had this texting thing going on for more than a month already, but you still weren't aware that he knew that it was you.

gojo: you're y/n

And he figured that it was time to go face-to-face. Because he wanted to get to know you beyond this phone screen because who knows what more you faked other than your name?

After he busted you not so gently, he demanded that you'd go on a date with him. You could only lament—you couldn't say that you hadn't seen this coming, with how poor your disguise was. Then again, did you even intend on hiding from him in the first place? Now that you thought about it, no. You were quite alright even when he knew who you were.

On the said day, just right after school ended, he went to the agreed place to take out out to a famous cafe in Shibuya. Only to find a guy from basketball team bowing his head before you.

"I really like you!" the guy declared with sincerity and steadfastly. He was tall, quite famous too. By all means, the two of you would've made a fine pair.

Satoru just frowned. Suddenly he didn't like the sight before him. This wasn't the first time he saw someone confessing their feelings for you—you were famous for that. And anyway, the two of you were just friends even though you've been texting for a long time now. He shouldn’t be upset.

"Ah," you let out a small sigh, your face lit with realization. Your voice was soft to Satoru's ears. Too soft. It resembled something someone had told him a long, long time ago.

"Don't ever leave me, okay?" "Of course."

That voice held the same softness as you did just now.

"I'm sorry," you proceeded to say, giving a look of sympathy to your admirer. "I'm very flattered, and I thank you for that. But I have no room for—"

"Y/N-chan!" Satoru didn't know where this immense impulse came from, he just went with it and it terribly spooked you. You jumped and whipped your head at him, eyes widened in total surprise.

But he merely sauntered towards you, only with his winning grin and nothing else, until he was right next to you, staring down the basketball guy with so much mirth in his blue eyes.

"Hello to you." Satoru addressed him, then put his arms on your shoulder, ignoring how you immediately stiffened. "Too bad, today she is going with me."

You couldn't believe what he just said and before you could rectify anything, the guy who just confessed to you bolted away in humiliation. You immediately untangled yourself from his arms, ready to be cross.

Or at least until you stared straight to his cerulean blue eyes.

And he too, saw his reflections in your orbs.

Suddenly everything didn't matter. You were lost into his eyes as he did yours. As the lines of dream and reality twisted and turned.

Suddenly, Satoru could put a face to the girl he'd been seeing on his nightly wonders. Her smile. Your smile.

And you could see the boy who loved you to death in him. The one who took your heart with him, and agreed to go with you for the second time.

All it took was gazing into these eyes of yours to make the connection. Everything seems right. So right.

As if the two of you are destined for this very moment. As if you’re given everything to understand why you should meet him now.

I found you.

As sudden as it came flowing to your brain—all these images that overlapped with your dreams—it ended. You came back to reality.

“You’re insufferable,” you hissed at Satoru, pushing away the fog in your mind.

“Am I?” a shit-eating grin formed at his glossy lips. “But it’s true, you’re on a date with me today.”

And so you went to your very first date. Satoru was every bit the same as the guy who messaged you on that dating app. He was outspoken, effortlessly funny, but still, a bit annoying here and there.

It was strange how comfortable you got around him, even though it was practically your first interaction.

Soon the number of dates increased. Two, three, four—and so on. Soon, everyone knows. Riko questioned you if you were sure to pick him out of all fishes you could’ve picked. In a way, you weren’t sure. It depends on this question: what are you to him anyway?

Meanwhile, on Satoru’s side, everyone either cheered for or envied him. Suguru patted him on his back, thinking he finally got the right senses. And he found himself to like you very much. He couldn’t go a day without thinking what you were doing or messing with you. You were kind, cute and pretty, and as he said it himself, he likes pretty things.

So it came as a surprise when you blurted out that burning question, sounding so unsure and overall out of your character, whereas you should already know how he put his heart on his sleeves for you to grab.

“Are you messing with me?” he gawked. But when he saw hurt crossed on your face, he was thrown into panic. “No—I mean…”

He exhaled sharply. He wasn’t used to this confessing thing at all because usually he didn’t need it.

“I really like you, okay? You do know that I like you, at the very least?”

With that, your relief was visibly palpable, like a sun that went out of its hiding. The hopeful gleam in your eyes—Gods, Satoru wanted to protect that forever.

“With that being said…” he wanted to look cool, he didn’t want to mess this up. And so he extended his hand to you, opening his palm.

“Would you go out with me?”

It was probably the first time you saw him so sincere. He was playful, flippant and overall just a menace, but when he asked you this, he looked as if he brought out his heart for you to see.

When you breathed out a “Yes”, and intertwined your fingers in his, he was over the moon, smothering you with kisses.

From that point onwards, your romance book was brimming with moments that sparkled, ranging from the sweet to the passionate. Each experience with him felt like a first, yet there was an inexplicable sense of familiarity, as if you had known him somewhere from a long time ago.

Those dreams of you and him from somewhere at another time brought the two of you together once again. With their purpose fulfilled, you no longer had to traverse the realm of dreams to be with the boy who had always provided you comfort with his presence. Likewise, he was no longer haunted by the recurring vision of you fading away before his eyes.

Because now, you and Gojo Satoru have a new life. A life where both of you can find happiness together.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

More Everything Forever

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me at NEW ZEALAND'S UNITY BOOKS in AUCKLAND on May 2, and in WELLINGTON on May 3. More tour dates (Pittsburgh, PDX, London, Manchester) here.

Astrophysicist Adam Becker knows a few things about science and technology – enough to show, in a new book called More Everything Forever that the claims that tech bros make about near-future space colonies, brain uploading, and other skiffy subjects are all nonsense dressed up as prediction:

https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/adam-becker/more-everything-forever/9781541619593/

Becker investigates the personalities, the ideologies, the coalitions, the histories, and crucially, the grifts behind such science fictional pursuits as infinite life-extension, space colonization, automation panic, AI doomerism, longtermism, effective altruism, rationalism, and conciousness uploading.

This is, loosely speaking, the bundle of ideologies that Timnit Gebru and Émile P. Torres dubbed TESCREAL (transhumanism, Extropianism, singularitarianism, (modern) cosmism, Rationalism, Effective Altruism, and longtermism):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TESCREAL

While these are largely associated with modern Silicon Valley esoteric techbros (and the odd Oxfordian like Nick Bostrom), they have very deep roots, which Becker excavates – like Nikolai Fyodorov's 18th century "cosmism," a project to "scientifically" resurrect everyone who ever lived inside of a simulation:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Fyodorov_(philosopher)

In their modern incarnation, these ideas largely originate in science fiction novels. That is to say, they were made up and popularized by people like me, the vast majority of whom made no pretense of being able to predict the future or even realistically describe a path from the present to the future they were presenting. Science fiction is something between a card trick and a consensual con game, where the writer shows you just enough detail to make you think that the rest of it must be lurking somewhere in the wings. No one in sf has ever explained how consciousness uploading could possibly work, and neither have any of the advocates for consciousness uploading – the difference is that (most of) the sf writers know they're just making stuff up.

Becker's central question is how many "smart" people (some of them very smart and accomplished, others merely very certain that they are smart despite all evidence to the contrary) can mistake futuristic allegories made up by pulp writers for prophesy?

In answering this question, he uncovers a corollary of Upton Sinclair's famous maxim that "it is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it," namely, that "it is easy to get a person to believe something when doing so will make them feel good about themselves."

The beliefs that Becker explores in this book sometimes make the believers rich (like the AI grifters who run around shouting about AI taking over the world and turning us all into paperclips). Sometimes, they make their believers feel good about being selfish assholes (like longtermism, which holds that all the misery in the world today is worth it if you can make 24 heptillion hypothetical simulated people just a little happy in 10,000 years). Sometimes, they make their believers feel good about life after death, or eternal life – the same pitch that religions have been roping in followers with since the stone age.

What differentiates these beliefs from other faith-based claims is that their followers claim that they aren't operating on faith, but on science, reason and rationality. This is where the fact that Becker is a bona fide astrophysicist comes in. Not only is he personally qualified to debunk claims about space colonization, but he's also familiar with the rigorous process of scientific inquiry, and capable of consulting experts and listening to them. That's how he concludes, for example, that having your head cut off and frozen when you die is just a form of corpse mutilation, with a zero point zero zero zero zero percent chance of someone recovering your mind from your freezerburned brain.

Like his subjects, Becker has a complicated relationship with science fiction. He, too, enjoys the imaginative flights of the genre, its delightful thought-experiments, its gnarly moral conundra. I love these too. They make for a fascinating and often useful lens for understanding and challenging our own relationship with technology and our very humanity. Ultimately, Becker is exploring the difference between reading sf because it makes you think in new ways, and reading sf as a kind of prophetic text, and – crucially – he's asserting that it's perfectly possible to enjoy this stuff without organizing your moral life around hypothetical heptillions of virtual people living in the year 25,000; or, indeed, having your head cut off and frozen.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/04/22/vinges-bastards/#cyberpunk-is-a-warning-not-a-suggestion