#quite a lot so maybe they just pay no heed to em??

[crimescrimson]

Are the gifs you post free to use? I'd love to use some for my edits, but I wasn't sure if you'd be okay with it.

As long as you use them in things that wouldn't be uncomfortable for me to see, I've had people use them on like hard-core smut fics before and because tumblr sends me a notification every time someone uses them I have to see that shit 😭 Another thing I wouldn't recommend is using or reblogging my sets to negatively comment ON the set or game I made a set about in the first place. You can easily just scroll or make your own post for that instead of being disrespectful in my tags like I've had recently experienced. Aside from the aforementioned points you're good to go! I don't mind at all and I actually appreciate being asked for once! No-ones actually asked me before lol

[whatsmyline-pb]

Saw this for the first time today and just about died. Then this happened:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32013415

(Edit: a big thanks to @stevieshelby for a much better quality picture.)

Alfie Solomons does not run. Ever. Men who run, in his opinion, are silly and weak; either running from or to something and either way showing far too much desperation in doing so. Alfie is a firm believer in acting with as little urgency as possible.

He knows, of course, that most people running are doing so for the sake of exercise. But it’s a bloody foolish way to achieve fitness, if you ask him. Likely does more harm than good, slamming your joints together against hard pavement. Swimming is a much more sensible form of exercise.

Point is, Alfie doesn’t run.

—

Leave it to Tommy Shelby to ruin Alfie’s first true holiday in years. It’s summer and it’s Margate and Alfie is altogether content to let work fade into oblivion and get some much-needed rest. But of course, he can’t get one fucking moments peace before the little prick is calling him, demanding that they meet, that it’s urgent, cannot be discussed over the phone, and what’s Alfie’s rental address, he’ll be there first thing in the morning.

And mornings, right, mornings are sacred to Alfie, especially when on holiday. He likes to take his fucking time, stretch languidly while the last remnants of sleep slip away, stay in bed however long he pleases and not leave a moment sooner. And then, when he deems himself ready to rise, make his way to the terrace with coffee and biscuits and a book and cigar. Greet the day with leisurely intent.

And fuck if he’s gonna let Tommy interfere with that pleasure. So the next day he goes about his morning just as he normally would, and when Tommy pulls up in his sleek Royce he’s just opened his book and taken his first sip of coffee.

“Just come on up, for fucks sake,” he hollers down when Tommy knocks on the front door. Moments later Tommy is standing in front of him, looking incredulous. Or really, looking entirely impassive, if you don’t know him. But Alfie does, so, yes, it’s definitely incredulity swimming behind those flat eyes.

Thing is, another part of Alfie’s morning routine is not getting dressed. Dressing really defeats the point of lounging around, doesn’t it? It’s boxers and a loose robe for him, and there’s nothing like the feeling of the warm morning sun on your bare chest, is there?

“You forget I was coming, Alfie?”

“Naw mate, how could I? Been anxious for my groceries, haven’t I?” He’d texted Tommy as soon as they’d hung up last night, Be a dear and stop by Kosher Kingdom before you leave, followed by a rather extensive grocery list. Just to be a prick, really; hadn’t expected any follow-through. But Tommy’s holding a grocery bag.

“Those ‘em?” He asks and grabs it from him. Tommy pays this no heed.

“You didn't think a business meeting warranted, I don’t know, putting some trousers on? Maybe a shirt?”

“Business meeting? Naw. I’m on fucking holiday, ain’t I?” He says it into the bag, busy shuffling through the contents. Only half his requests are in there. “Where are my bourekas?” He asks, looking up.

Tommy glares at him and pulls out a cigarette. His eyes flit unwittingly over Alfie’s bare torso as he lights it. Alfie suppresses a smug grin.

Could be that not wanting to disrupt his normal routine isn't the only reason Alfie declined to dress for Tommy’s visit. Could be, yeah, that they’ve been in business together for seven months and those seven months have felt like a fucking eternity, all of them spent with Alfie not so secretly lusting after Tommy and Tommy, cunt that he is, determinedly ignoring his advances (even though Alfie is damn sure his desires are reciprocated). So yeah, he stayed half-naked to make a point about holidays and respect and all that, but also to taunt Tommy.

Rather transparent. Could be he’s getting a bit desperate.

“So what’s this big emergency, then? You finally set the factory on fire smoking those godforsaken fags? Tear a hole in that favorite suit of yours, hmm? Someone finally snap and off Arthur? Out with it, treacle.”

Tommy sighs as he slides into the seat opposite Alfie. “How’s it you’re even more fucking irritating on holiday, Alfie?”

Alfie just smiles.

“Alright,” Tommy says, pulling some papers from his briefcase and onto the table. He launches into a story, and Alfie immediately forgets to listen. Thing is, there’s a lot going on in Margate in the summer, even this early in the day. Folks are up and about and Alfie can’t help it if he’s an avid people-watcher. Not really in the headspace for business, is he?

Alfie’s somehow getting away with not paying attention to Tommy when the group of runners pound by. They look equally smug and miserable and he can’t help but mutter, “Ridiculous fucking hobby.”

This stops Tommy mid-sentence. “You hear a word I just fucking said, Alfie?”

Alfie nods. “Yeah, mate, sure. Something about a shipment and a fuck up.”

Tommy’s jaw clenches, his eyes narrow. He looks from Alfie to the runners and to Alfie again. It’s a long, heavy silence. Long enough that Alfie grabs the grocery bag again and begins pawing through it. He can practically feel the annoyance radiating off Tommy.

“You remember when you set me up with that cousin of yours?” Tommy asks, an eternity later.

Alfie can’t help it, he breaks into a toothy grin. He remembers it. Often and fondly. It’s not every day Tommy is in need of a last-minute date for an important business dinner and turns to Alfie for help. And really, Tommy should have known better. Of course, Alfie was going to hire an escort to accompany him, paying her extra to pretend to be his cousin. Of course, he was going to relish the opportunity to fuck with the great Tommy Shelby, delight in the knowledge of him prancing proudly around London with a high-end prostitute on his arm.

Hadn’t expected him to ever find out, at least not until a few years later when he’d randomly decide to let his duplicity slip. Hadn’t anticipated that there’d be an adversary present at the dinner who knew just who his ‘cousin’ was, did little to hide it and, in fact, outed Tommy on spot. Alfie can’t quite regret this, though. Would never have gotten to see his cheeks flushed so darkly, red with rage and embarrassment, the next day, would he have? It made the fist to the face and ensuing month of stony silence entirely worth it.

“Course I remember, treacle. One of my finer moments. Really though, you were rather ungrateful, weren’t you? Just trying to give a mate a pleasurable night and all I get in return is a black eye and broken nose.”

Tommy is looking at him with that look of his, the one that means there’s a scheme brewing and you’d best brace yourself.

“Tell you what, Alfie,” Tommy says, leaning forward and stamping out his cigarette. “You make it to the pier and back in under a minute, and I’ll return the favor.”

“What, you’re gonna hire me an escort?” Alfie asks, amused.

“No.” His eyes bore into Alfie, the blues in them much darker than usual. His meaning, suddenly obvious, clicks.

There’s not many things that can stun Alfie into silence. He blinks stupidly at Tommy for a few beats, then leans back, dragging his hand over his beard.

“Let me get this straight. I go for a quick jog and we fuck?”

“Think it’ll have to be more of a sprint, Alfie.”

Tommy knows Alfie’s feelings about running. Knows them because Alfie had told him, can never keep his fucking mouth shut and stop the landslide of damning information that falls out.

A run for a fuck. It’s tempting, for sure. But Alfie has his pride. There’s lots of things he’d do for a fuck, but running definitely ain’t one of them, no matter how desperately he wants it.

“Naw mate. Don’t feel like getting dressed, quite yet.” Tommy quirks an eyebrow.

“Didn’t say anything about getting dressed, did I?”

Alfie laughs at this. Of course, it’s his unkempt appearance that Tommy thinks adds an extra punch of humiliation to this bargain. But Alfie could give a fuck, and Tommy should really know better. He’d meet the Queen in his boxers and robe, head held high, wouldn’t he? But running? No.

“Tommy, sweetie, it’s not going to happen. Now, isn’t there some world-ending urgent reason you are here?”

Tommy shrugs and starts over.

Alfie listens. Or tries to. Tommy himself proves to be the distraction this time. First, he takes off his suit jacket, and fucking well he should, he’s got too many layers for this heat, so that’s just fine.

Then he starts to roll his shirt sleeves upwards. Not in the messy, rushed way that Alfie shoves his own up, but slowly, methodically, one careful fold over another. It takes a tedious amount of time for his forearms to emerge and Alfie tracks the progress hungrily. He’s always had a weakness for those arms, which Tommy, of course, well knows. Another stupid thing he’d let slip. But no matter, they’re just arms, after all.

The lazy recline against his seatback is definitely unexpected. So unlike Tommy, to don a posture of such ease. Yet it suits him, stretches his body out more fully, allows Alfie a more substantial view. And there’s the leg too, that has slid out as result, and is now pressing firmly against Alfie’s own, calf to calf. It’s not moving or anything, so, really, it’s no big deal.

Tommy keeps talking and Alfie keeps listening. Problem is, Tommy’s doing this thing, and it’s definitely the most distracting of all the things. He keeps slipping his eyes from Alfie’s face, raking them over his body, slow and deliberate, licking his lips as he does. And that, well that is just fucking sinful and cruel and underhanded and right up Alfie’s alley.

A run for a fuck. It’s ludicrous, yet…

The leg next to his gives a forceful nudge.

“Asked you a question, Alfie.” There’s a drop of sweat running down Tommy’s throat, spilling onto his clavicle. When had Tommy undone the top two buttons of his shirt?

Maybe, maybe, just one, short run won’t kill him. He clears his throat.

“A minute, you say?” Tommy blinks, then nods, trying and failing to keep his lips from twitching upwards. The hair on his forehead has begun to curl slightly in the humidity. Alfie wants to run his hand through it, brush it away, feel how soft it must be.

“Fuck it. Where are my goddamn trainers, then?”

—

Alfie runs like the wind, or so he’d like to think. It’s not far in that he first considers, with slight panic, that this distance might not be doable in under a minute, not for an avid non-runner, such as himself. But there’s no fucking way he’s not getting his reward for this ridiculous exercise in humiliation.

He picks up his pace, stiffens his hands, pumps his arms with vigor. He runs like the devil’s chasing him and there’s a naked Tommy Shelby jumping and cheering his name at the finish line. He can only imagine what he looks like, face set with anguished determination, robe billowing behind him.

Tommy’s holding in laughter, eyes brimming with tears, when he heaves to a stop beside him, gasping violently, his hands on his knees. He’d silence him with a righteous punch to the dick if he could only catch his breath.

“Well?” He asks, a moment later. Tommy holds out his phone to him.

“Minute three seconds,” he says.

“Fuck off,” Alfie breaths, but the timer indeed reads as Tommy says. Three fucking seconds. “This goddamn robe, too much resistance.”

Tommy laughs. “Nah, I must have hit the start a bit too soon,” he says, and closes the distance between them, wrapping an arm around Alfie’s waist and kissing him vigorously.

—

And so that’s how Alfie finally managed to get Tommy Shelby into his bed. Still fucking hates running. Hates it with unyielding passion and will never partake again. But, he figures, just that once, it had been worth it.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from "Chapter Two: The Kithain" in Changeling: The Dreaming (20th anniversary edition) Part One of Two

"Humans define themselves by more than just species. They identify with certain races and cultures, separate themselves by generation or ideology, and express individuality while simultaneously looking for ways to connect with others like them. How they look, who they love, where they live, what they believe — these are all building blocks of identity."

"This desperate aversion to moving on does have its own consequences."

"Though the wisdom to temper the idea is sometimes there, the sheer excitement can sweep anyone off their feet quickly enough to disregard it."

"While these impulses aren’t usually much of a problem, it’s easy to forget that not every dream is a sweet one — nightmares can come to life, too."

"Every teddy bear protector is there to fight something,

after all."

"These things can be distracting at any age, especially for someone working in a dreary office or in a highly repetitive job."

"With little care for consequences or thinking through the details, they don’t consider the harm that will come to others, intentionally or unintentionally, in their pursuits."

"While they don’t have an inherently negative outlook, they are more likely to put their personal interests over those of others."

"Becoming jaded and unwilling to take risks is the death of childhood."

"Something may captivate them for a time, but once all the mystery is gone from it, they’ll just as easily drop one pursuit for another that still has questions to answer."

"Wonder lies in the discovery of a new species or an unexplored biome, and beauty in chemical bonds or lines of code."

"Repetition can quickly become a rut, and make even the most wondrous work commonplace and mundane."

"Whether they fight to preserve or subvert the ruling class as it stands, they all long to make their mark in one way or another."

"Even when caught, they are unlikely apologize for their actions, and instead have a dozen ways to justify them."

"Some enjoy collecting art and creating galleries to inspire others, or amass vast libraries of literature or music to the same purpose."

"They have an innate knack of deciphering relationships and picking up “overheard” tidbits of information."

"They explore the world with wonder in their eyes and will talk to anyone who will sit still long enough to listen and put up with the incessant questions."

"Their reputation for being consummate craftspeople is well learned."

"This does not apply to a sworn enemy."

"Rowdy fools, the lot of them."

"Rowdy fools, the lot of them. Still, they can be quite entertaining. . .so long as you keep them from breaking the china."

"They make wonderful guests and tell the most delightful tales, but they never stay for long."

"Pay heed to their stories and you may learn something."

"Their obsessions tend to make them boring conversationalists."

"Never leave them alone in a room if you want to be able to find anything afterward."

"They are quite entertaining at parties, but never stick around to help clean up."

"Foul mouthed and rude beasties, they are."

"Be careful how much wine you offer them. They can become quite. . . err. . .enthusiastic."

"No place on land, no friendship, and not even love can hold them."

"A selkie’s heart belongs to the sea and to the sea they will always return."

"They still understand the old ways but they do not always understand our ways."

"Things have changed and they are going to need to learn to adapt."

"It seems that they value little other than honor and duty."

"They are strong, yes, but they are more than simple brutes."

"They don’t lie outright, but they do love to tell a tall tale, often embellishing the story for the sake of humor or to build excitement."

"A good donnybrook clears the air, breaks the tension, and reveals hidden passions and personality traits."

"Nothing wrong with cutting loose a bit now and then!"

"Don’t leave them alone with your prize possessions; you’ll never know what’ll come up missing."

"They don’t understand limits — their own or anyone else’s."

"What a bunch of bullies!"

"Don’t underestimate them."

"Graceful, beautiful, mysterious, and always just beyond reach."

"They stayed by us and fought. That’s worth something."

"What we do today will live long after us, carried in the stories told by our children and our children’s children."

"Nothing new to learn here."

"Anger and foul language doesn’t make for a very good tale."

"There’s joy to be found in their revels, but take care!"

"They think themselves the kings and queens of this world, but they’ve never walked its many paths."

"How can they rule what they don’t understand and have never really valued?"

" I’ve heard it said that the real hero is the one who stays."

"I know I know. . .I’ve worked on the damned thing all week and it’s still not right."

"Maybe if you stop breathing down my neck, or better yet, just leave me the fuck alone and I’ll get it done."

"When they are forced to have social contact they are eminently sarcastic with everyone around them, and blazingly critical of anyone in charge."

"Artists, builders, crafters, and even writers all know the torment of “knowing” that their work is not good enough, that it will never be understood."

"People are mercurial, have feelings that can be easily hurt, and once broken they cannot be repaired in the same way as a tool or device."

"They are willing to take chances in order to come up with the newest and most fantastic design, often resulting in catastrophic (and sometimes humorous) failures."

"Rather than seeking the newest and most innovative designs, they have a deep desire for perfection — which, much to their chagrin, they can never attain."

"Sometimes all it takes is a kick and a few harsh words to scare a machine into working again."

"They’re fast, so they’re either cheap or good, too. You don’t get all three."

"Drunks and power tools don’t mix."

"Sorry, was that insensitive? Bite me."

"They just don’t know when to shut up."

"Sometimes they have something important to say, but you have to sift through the meandering drivel to find anything useful."

"Unruly and reckless children."

"Useless furballs!"

"Dangerous folk, but sometimes useful, especially if you want to dispose of some unwanted evid. . .err. . .garbage."

"Hedonistic freaks, the lot of ‘em."

"Don’t fall in love with one."

"Damn dusty in here."

"They think they’re hot stuff, but they don’t understand this world and its workings as we do."

"They want to rule, and who are we to say no."

"They pay well and I’ll happily take their commissions."

"Buncha creepy a-holes, if you ask me."

"Skulking around, up to no good, I’m sure of it."

"They are the strongest and toughest of us all, but their hearts can be surprisingly tender."

"I don’t know how it found its way into my pocket. Of course you can have it back. . .unless you don’t need it right now. I’d be happy to hang onto it for you until you do."

"I can’t imagine being tied down like that."

"We’ll wander many paths together, but in the end, they are who they are, and we never really are anything quite that specific."

"What is truth, but something we all agree upon? So, if we all agree upon a lie, isn’t it then truth?"

"Anything they say is likely to be peppered with lies, half-truths, and misinformation."

"Humans have always dreamed of a better, more carefree life."

"Lazy and reckless. And they keep all of the cake to themselves!"

"Drunken reprobates, every last one of them."

"Not exactly the most even tempered folks. Playing pranks on them can be a lot of fun though."

"It must be wonderful to always be at the center of every political intrigue."

"They start the shit that we have to finish."

"Just don’t get them started on how they’re royalty or some crap."

"You want to pound back a drink or wild out on the town, they’re the place to be."

"Mmm, seafood."

"You’d think such pretty folks would be easy to intimidate, but make that mistake and you’ll bite off more than even you can chew."

"Those nearby may experience a brief frisson of pure lust."

"How can such a simple life be a truly satisfying one?"

"A fight’s only as good as the kissing and making up after."

"So sweet and innocent. Cover their eyes before they see something naughty."

"Their passions are too dark and frightening."

"Someone so beautiful should never want for passion."

"I will return. . .one day. . .I promise."

"The sea gives and the sea takes away."

"A person’s secrets should be their own."

"Sharks that walk on two legs. Trust them at your own peril."

"They too are gifted with great beauty, but they wield their allure like a weapon."

"You think nobility a privilege, and you envy and resent us for it, but you cannot see that it is also a burden few would truly wish to bear."

"They must learn that respect must first be given in order to be received."

"Tremendously useful and occasionally even trustworthy, but beware what you allow them to slip into their pockets. You may never see it again."

"Who are these strange creatures?"

"What they know is invaluable, but can you really be certain they are sharing their knowledge with you alone?"

[reddus-sideblog]

Pathfinder Update

We didn’t play last week, we did this week, and here is the tale

After fleeing Hollow Point following their attempt at assassinating the dragon rider Jodd The Butcher the group headed east, and Valka, feeling horrendously out of his depth in regards to confronting dragons, retreated through the twin orb to his office in Bostadt, and had the knights he’d employed fix him up, while Schwartz, his tiefling secretary, looked upon his minor (though bloody) wounds from having his face smashed into the window sill, with less pity. Valka was being a bit “woe is me” and hypochondriac-y to his employees, while Tisiphone and Nik made camp and talked about the unique prospect of killing a dragon, along with their inexperience in fighting such things. Tisi and Nik headed through the Twin Orb as well, looking for Miss Kii who had disappeared to do some research on dragons. They found a self-pitying catboy, and later Kii, who had just returned from Bostadt’s uptown library. I can’t really blame Valka for being so down, the dragon rider had really beat him up, and the dragon was one hell of a sight to behold.

Kii attempted to entice Valka back to her quest with talks about immortalizing oneself through legendary feats (and maybe mentioned mortality a bit too much) and Valka really wasn’t having it. He said something along the lines of “I’m a con man, I know what I am! I am not a dragonslayer!” and went and sat in a huff in his boss chair turning his back to Tisi, Kii, and Nik. His employed knights seemed a bit scandalized by this (they’re not the brightest...), and Scwartz just sighed loudly. Nik and Kii were a bit taken aback, and Tisiphone just walked up to his chair, spun him back around, and dragged him back through the Twin Orb. When on the otherside Tisiohone shut down that Twin Orb (effectively locking it off for the time being) and her and Valka had a bit of shouting to do at each other before she walked off in a bit of a rage to go kick things and shoot her gun off and let off some steam.

In their little spat Tisi and Valka had largely not noticed that there was a new face around the campfire. The stranger wore a dark cloak and a nearly featureless white mask. The group discerned that he was head-to-toe covered in bandages beneath his obscuring clothes. What’s more he was using their cooking equipment to make food! After some initial wariness and hostility he introduces himself as “Ivan Escribano“ and expresses his wishes for him (and his men) to team up with the group to hunt down Jodd and his dragon. We ultimately do not know his motivations, but Tisiphone and him shake on it. Then we played Dixon Hold ‘Em with Valka and Nik, using Valka’s deck. Curiously, Valka won... Only Kii was able to realize what the stew Ivan had cooked was, it was a Pragian stew, using spices and ingredients common to the land.

Come daybreak, the group broke camp, but not before Tisiphone and Nik realized that Ivan had been sitting infront of the fire all night...like he was meditating or something. Tisi talked it over with Valka (who was the one who pieced it together when he pretending to burn his hand on the kettle Tisi was using to brew coffee (she makes it cowboy style, boiling the ground in the kettle) and swearing in Elvish, and with Ivan looking upon him with bemusement and saying “you swear like a child”. They finished packing up and headed to Stormhill.

Not much happened in Stormhill, besides buying provisions and other gear. Kii remarked, though, that she would feel a bit more trustworthy of Ivan and his men if they didn’t always wear masks, and Tisiphone took a fair bit of offense to it, pointing right at her and saying that folks got a right to hide their faces, especially if it’s for other’s sakes if they have messed up faces. Also she got mad at Valka too when he mentioned Ivan’s heavy bandaging, accusingly asking if he had a problem with more cripples joining the group. Poor Tisi’s more self-conscious at times than she really needs to be.

They continued on to Idle Crag, a Southerlands port city on the more Eastern coast. The city itself is a good 2 stories or so above the swamp below, with the “under city” being composed of shanty slums and having an unfortunate amount of ghouls below. The next step of the masked man’s master plan was to get a hold of passage to the island that he somehow knew the dragon rider would be upon. He comped the stable fees as well as our fees at the inn (the Smiling Pearl). Valka, reluctantly, went about looking for leads down by the docks for a captain to bring us all to the island, but little luck was to be found, as a storm was coming soon and no one was looking to leave port in the mean time. He did discover, however, that a pirate captain had pulled in to the harbour not long ago, and had been arrested by the port authority, but he was known for having little heed for the local weather and would sail wheresoever he pleased.

It turns out Ivan had certain things to attend to and was leaving the hiring up to us. And so Tisiphone, Nik, and Kii came with Valka to go hire this pirate captain. We arrived at the port authority (the only all stone building in the city), and the elven lady at the front desk asked if we were family here to see the captured catfolk corsair captain. Valka, up to this point, had been mildly bothered, he doesn’t like the sea, he doesn’t like boats, and he especially doesn’t like pirates. Now, he was positively agitated, and only Tisi and Kii were keeping him from leaving. So the lot of them headed down to the disgusting lower levels of the dungeons, and soon enough Valka was face to face with...Valka (Valka is the family name, the brother being Lora’a Valka and our dear alchemist being Lora’sae Valka, the intricacies of catfolk families will have to wait until some other time).

And so we came to understand that Lora’sae was the classic dweeby younger brother, and Lora’a was ever the overbearing, bullying older brother. Older Valka saw younger Valka as little more than a charlatan that had run the family business into the ground (he had), and younger Valka saw older Valka as little more than a degenerate wastrel who applied murder, braggartry, and thievery quite liberally (he did). In short, the entire Valka family is composed of villains of various varieties. Lora’sae presented his paying off of his brother’s bail as an act of love and goodness (which will surely bite us in the ass later), and so now there are 2 too many cats in the group’s company.

Later, after we had let him clean up, Lora’a also demanded that a few new terms were being added to the deal, one that we would steal back the magical contraband he had attempted to smuggle into Idle Crag, and two, that Lora’sae buy him dinner. The two went out, and while Lora’a is an overbearing ass he did give little Valka some good advice, to cherish his friends, and to not let them fall by the wayside like he had before. It seems that, just maybe, Lora’sae Valka has made some genuine friends, and not just found an opportunity to parasitize some poor marks.

[yridenergyridenergy]

I would like to read your personal analysis about what thoughts raced through your mind while listening to that 5 days that each member shared with us with their individual setlist, how did you feel? Could we open a debate? I love that, and above all I love your page and content. and your point of view about the band ..!

Ah, I appreciate your message, but make sure to season my comments with a lot of salt hahah.

Regarding #Direngrey5Days, I had posted my impressions mostly live during the broadcast, but it was such a flow from everyone that I guess I can gather all of them together here.  I listened to some of them again just to collect my thoughts better, but obviously the thrill of discovering the songs live is gone.

This is also a good occasion to post the following graphs of each member's song selection by album (point in their history), which I thought others would have published by now.

(THE CONSTANT DIP NEAR UNRAVELING AND ARCHE, AGH.)

Kaoru: Very solid, and I found that it showed that he had a heavy hand into what Dir en grey's actual setlists are. There was diversity in it and he was the first to impress with that one switch to a live recording. I had admittedly missed the first few songs because I usually wake up exactly when it starts, and I had underestimated how exciting these livestreamed setlits would be. The beginning is smooth but epic enough to ease you into the show. He had some audacious choices but also a few singles or songs that are popular as well. The transitions made sense too, or maybe it's just me. There were more slow and sad songs than I expected from him though. 

Toshiya: His setlist was highly edgy and sad, it left me wondering if he was doing OK. Ending the setlist with that small cry/whimper at the conclusion of Zakuro, I am not sure that he sought our wellbeing hahah. A real show could not have closed on that note.

Die: It starts very steady, the energy seems like a constant thread that keeps you hooked along the way. But then he adds a few sad songs, at least delivering on ARCHE finally! It seems like he knew that the setlist had to have some low times but he actually just wants the songs with the fast-paced chord-striking. The ending of Ranunculus followed by VANITAS... Surprising for him, but VANITAS has a lot of power and is not solely heavy and sad, at least. He may have just thought of the fact that Japanese fans were supposed to be going to sleep shortly after that livestream, so he had to calm things down a bit hah. But there was undoubtedly a message in this selection, what with the lyrics and him communicating in the YouTube chat that Dir en grey loves us, then. I mean, after all, he is the one who outright confirmed that the band is conscientious of how it leaves its fans at the end of a show.

Shinya: His song selection was also solid, but he chose some old tracks that just make me think: "But you're not even doing splendid drumming in them at all?" I notice drums a lot in songs, and it really shows when the sound and rhythm is so generic that any local drummer could perform them... The nudge to Die with Red... [EM], Aka and I would say even 304 Goushitsu, Hakushi no Sakura was very fun.  The first half was good, energetic, and then it just felt awkward? Almost a succession of one sadder song, one very hyper, one sad, etc. only to also end with INCONVENIENT IDEAL, which sounds like it is filled with hope but is actually quite sad as well? And he pushed the setlist to M20 for those two last heavy-hearted songs too?

Kyo: It was without any surprise whatsoever that he opted for live renditions to try to give a truer feeling than the sanitized impression of studio recordings. The focus on UROBOROS –the proof in the name of living- is peculiar though but it worked very well hah. With some of the song picks, especially AGITATED SCREAMS OF MAGGOTS -unplugged-, I think that this setlist is, in a way, a dream one that couldn't happen anymore unless all of the stars aligned for an optimal throat condition? As for the focus on UROBOROS –with the proof in the name of living-, I have to wonder if he did not just stumble upon that DVD shortly before submitting his list and was into that mood. He is a guy who really obsesses over things for short periods of time, whether his looks, his passions, etc. So, why did only that UROBOROS DVD get so much focus... There was probably no time or desire to try out any other one during that time hah. But for sure, the fact that he selected no old song besides Rasetsukoku (just because technically the old version was the one played in UROBOROS –with the proof in the name of living-) is no surprise at all either.

-----------------

Overall, there seems to be an almost conscious effort by most of the members to pick at least one song from each album in their history, but Kyo paid no heed to that at all and followed his own interests, and to a lesser extent Shinya as well. I was expecting more songs from The Insulated World to pay respect to the neverending mantra that “This is the current Dir en grey”, but it has been played for three tours now...

[laylacooke]

Their Fae(te) Is In Your Paws || Lydia & Layla

timing: thursday night (6/18) after the events at took’s & dismantling a moose. parties: @inspirationdivine & @laylacooke summary: layla helps lydia free some of her friends. 

It had been a relatively pretty day in White Crest, but after all the shenanigans Layla had found herself in this week, she knew coming out after dark was probably for the best. And in doing so, she had ventured over to Amity Street. A part of town she hadn’t really been to before. As she moved forward taking in all the sights of the closed shops, she noticed someone just up ahead. Something had seemed to be too interesting to pass up, so as Layla inched forward, she decided to stop and see what was so fascinating, “Is there really something that intriguing that you’d be standing here window shopping this late at night?” She looked to the woman nearby.

Lydia didn’t like to be out so late at night anymore, not when she knew how often a certain vampire was watching her. In the day, a little curiosity had caught her attention, pulling on her chest like tangled chimes. Here, at night, she could see it better. A pair of phobids, trapped in an iron cage, on display. Ready to be sold to the highest bidder. Their tiny white eyes were covered with ductape, impossibly sticky for them to remove themselves. Lydia could have gone in to purchase them, but it wasn’t the only obvious fae product in the window, suggesting a hunter was involved somewhere down the line. Not that she’d be able to hold the cage at all. She turned at the sound of the voice, her eyes dark and searching. “Why are you so curious?”

Her eyes shifting to the window, she leaned forward to get a better look, and that’s when she saw them. The tiny creatures. Things she had never seen before fluttering around in a cage with tape over their eyes. Shifting her line of sight to the woman next to her, Layla spoke up, “It’s the middle of the night. Nothing else is going on, and to be quite honest, I’m bored.” She looked back to the cage holding the phobids, “What are those, and why are their eyes taped up like that?” She clearly had no clue that such things had existed beyond what she had learned from her parents, who dealt in werewolves and other similar creatures.

“Nothing else is going on in this town?” Lydia repeated, amused, although when she looked at Layla, the girl did look young. A teenager at most. “Then again, perhaps you’re too young to enjoy the night’s other offers.” Lydia followed Layla’s gaze. She considered obscuring the truth, but perhaps instead she might elicit some help. “They’re creatures that do not deserve to live in cages, to be sold to someone who will likely grind them up to make an eye cream or something similar.”

Layla knew there were a lot more happenings going on, but it wasn’t anything she had wanted to be a part of. She had already gotten into a bar fight. Wrecked a store and a tractor. Gotten into a physical fight with her former best friend and a countless number of other things that this stranger didn’t need to know about. But somehow, she had found herself here, “Yeah. I just turned nineteen yesterday, so drinking is out of the question for me.” She let a smug grin slip over her face, before turning back to the creatures, “Well no deserves to be made into eye cream. Who would want to be smeared on Paula Deen’s face anyways, when she’s got butter for that.” She paused, an idea coming to mind, “Why don’t we just let ‘em go then?” It wasn’t the best idea, considering Layla didn’t know what they were, but she really didn’t care now.

“Ah, I see,” Lydia replied. Too young, really, for any of the mischief she liked to cause, and she had been about to turn away from Layla altogether when Layla continued. “No, they do not deserve this,” Lydia agreed. Perhaps she could pay someone to purchase them for her. Perhaps she could just kiss the right person and make it all go away. “I think that’s a marvelous idea,” replied Lydia with a soft smile to the girl. “Careful, there’s CCTV behind you, but I don’t think it needs to be a problem, if we don’t let it be.” She tilted her head at the glass. “The problem is, I’m not the strongest around, and nor can I touch that particular cage. Yet if we free them, they will let me remove the blindfolds.”

Layla side-eyed the camera behind her. As long as she didn’t turn around, she was fine right? Besides wasn’t CCTV in black and white anyways? It was the 21st century and the fact that some camera systems on buildings were still poorly made amused her, “So what do you suggest we do about...the camera then?” The glass was the farthest thing from being an issue. It took her a moment, but she sprouted a single sharp claw out of the view of the security camera, before slyly revealing it to Lydia, “Well, I’ve got the glass part covered, but what’s wrong with the cage?” If it was silver, there was no way Layla could touch it and a backup plan would have to be made.

“Just don’t let it see your face, darling,” Lydia replied. “Playthings carefully.” She stared back into the window, touching it briefly. The Phobids looked frightened, if such a thing was even possible. No fae deserved to be in a cage like that. Soon, she promised them in her chest, and meant it. And if she had this… whatever the girl was, if there were consequences down the line, she’d be the one who broke and entered. Lydia glanced down to the claw and smiled. “Well, that is excellent news.” In a pinch, Lydia could have broken the glass herself, but the cage was the real issue. “It wouldn’t be an issue to you,” Lydia replied. “That I can assure you.”

Not waiting any longer, Layla carefully let her claw dig itself deeply into the glass. Drawing out a nice wide circle, her ears perking at the sound of the tip dragging across the glass. Making it back to the start, she took her fist and gave the glass a few firm knocks before the circle fell inwards shattering on the floor and an alarm being tripped, “Whoops. I never said I was a professional.” She looked to Lydia with a cold smile. Turning her attention back to the cage, she reached out and grabbed it from its resting place. Pulling it back through the window, she held it up to the small creatures fluttering around, “They’re all yours.” Holding the cage up, she waited for the woman to do whatever she was going to do.

This was the problem with working with children. Lydia hurriedly led them away from the scene of the crime, although there were enough shady figures walking the streets that they didn’t stand out. Many such shady figures wouldn’t be too fussed about one crime or another, but still, Lydia lead them into a darker alley, and something was definitely skittering in the dark at the bottom. “Would you mind unlatching the cage?” Lydia asked, and when Layla did, Lydia called to the phobids in a standard Irish Gaelic. Follow my voice and hoped they might understand just enough in their regional dialect to do so, or that they would follow the bell chimes that called her to them too. They did, cautiously, their little black bodies burned and blistered now that Lydia could see them up close. “Now, you might wish to look away. Their gaze can be quite something.” She offered her hand to the first phobid, who cautiously perched on it. It was a painful, slow effort to peel the ductape off its delicate face. It whimpered, and only smiled once she’d freed those beautiful moonlight eyes. “Now the other,” Lydia said, her tone soft and sweet as she might be to a child. A moment longer, and the second was freed. “You poor things,” Lydia said softly. “Your help is much appreciated, darling,” she added to Layla.

As Lydia led them to an alley, Layla held on tightly to the cage. It probably was safer being shadowed by the darkness, but the redhead was more fascinated by what resided in her hand. Not knowing the power that the small creatures held, Layla opened the cage and listened as Lydia instructed them. No wonder this lady wanted them freed. She seemed to have a connection with them. And as Layla watched them begin to leave, she heeded the woman’s advice and turned away. The whimper caused some heartache to the tiny bit of her conscience that lay deep below the surface from the crack in the fidget spinner. But it wasn’t enough to truly feel remorseful. However, knowing that they would be free from being caged like animals brought a smirk to her features. Now, the little fae could go exact their revenge on whomever they wanted. “Yeah, no problem. But hey, you don’t think they’ll come after me, right? You know, helping them and all.” She glanced towards the woman next to her, avoiding the freed phobid’s gaze as she watched, from her peripheral vision, as they fluttered into the night.

“After you? No, not at all.” Lydia replied. “Slán,” she bid her tiny dark winged friends goodbye, and they replied in kind, before darting off. No problem, the girl said, setting lose any commitments on Lydia’s part to repay any perceived dead. Not so far away, a man screamed, then two women. Such was the cost of interacting with fae, sometimes. She smiled. “I’ll remember this, girl. Have a good evening now.” On the main road, she heard a shriek, and the horrid scrape-crunch of a car crashing into something. Lydia turned, and went on her way. Maybe a drink, to celebrate freeing her own brethren. Felix would be delighted. 

“Good to know.” Layla was relieved at knowing she wouldn’t be attacked by the small winged fae. She had done her one good deed for the week, and she felt like she deserved to treat herself. To what, she wasn’t entirely sure. But between the stuff at Took’s, stealing a tractor, and now this, it had been an eventful Thursday. “Yeah, you too.” And while Layla wasn’t entirely sure if what Lydia had said was a good thing or a bad thing, it wasn’t anything that lingered on her mind and neither was the consequences of her actions that now filled the once silent night air. With a smile on her face, she made sure to leave in the opposite direction, tossing the now empty cage into a nearby dumpster and remembering the camera that sat just across the street from where they once had been. The night was still young, and she was sure there was some other adventure out there waiting for her, and if not, at least it had been a good day.

[littlemonstersau-blog]

The Feels Awaken, Part 3: A New Hope (for Friendship)

Written by @jkl-fff, illustrated by me

PART I - PART II [Interlude] - PART III - PART IV [Interlude] - PART V [FINAL] (you are here)

——————————————————————————————–

A new day dawned then waxed then began to wane, but Ford and Bill hardly noticed. A manic, obsessive energy (plus an unhealthy amount of coffee and sugar) kept them focused throughout their self-appointed task. Such is often the case for the kind of people who feel the need to write to right a wrong in the world. Not all heroes wear capes, after all; some wear turtlenecks and trenchcoats, some wear paper-based clones of teenage boys produced through unholy abominations of SCIENCE!.

… For that matter, not all heroes are particularly heroic; some are morally ambiguous straddlers of the line between antihero and antivillain, some are demonic chaos gods who (quite frankly) still wonder how in the 79 Hells they found themselves in this position.

In the end, though it did take more than the one night, they still finished in just over 16 hours. The plot outline came in at just over 18 pages, which they tidily stacked together on the table and declared to be more than adequate … before passing out on the carpet. Facefirst.

When Bill next regained consciousness, he was in his attic bed and morning light was streaming through the window. His mouth tasted like an abandoned prison for criminally insane chalk and his head felt like the internal turmoil of a buzzsaw having an existential crisis. It was a pain that was anything but hilarious; it was the sugared caffeine hangover equivalent of nuclear fallout … Mouthwash fixed the first problem. The second took an adult dosage of aspirin, a lot of water, and deliberate manipulation of many of the clonesuit’s normally automatic processes for a full eight minutes. And even then, not completely.

“Guess I can’t pilot one of these things through 36+ hours of no sleep on a gallon of coffee … Not if I wanna be able to still maneuver it the next day without crashing every ten feet into a wall or the floor, at least,” he grumbled to himself. “Major design flaw … Can’t believe they got evolutionarily approved for mass production with such weak durability …”

Downstairs in the kitchen, Stan greeted him jovially enough. “Stancakes are up, and so are you, it seems. How you feelin’ today?”

“Honestly, confused,” Bill graveled, his clonesuit throat still raw. “I can get longterm possession of a meatbag leading to me—y’know, the real me—developing emotions and physical cravings and other … gross, brain-mush junk like that. Neurochemistry is basically just an addictive habit, like how people respond to hearing the question ‘What is love?’—”

“Baby, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me no more,” Stan mumbled automatically.

“Exactly. But what I don’t get is why the real me is also feeling this coffee and sugar hangover. No joke: I tried leaving my clonesuit to get away from it, but it followed me. How is that fair? And, yeah, existence isn’t fair,” Bill interjected before Stan automatically could. “But still …”

Like the benevolent and experienced sage he was (more or less), Stan chuckled to himself. Then, laying a companionable arm around Bill’s shoulders, he leaned in and whispered the truth as grimly as Death itself, “You can outrun your sins, but you can never outrun a hangover.”

“W-wha?”

“Some say if you never stop drinkin’, it’ll never catch up with you. But they are fools. Sooner or later, all things must sleep—sooner or later, all who drink must suffer.”

“Uh … K-kinda freakin’ me out here.” Bill tried to lean away, but Stan’s hold was inescapable. “And, just sayin’, I’m kinda responsible for making most of the 79 Hells as freaky as they are.”

“Heed my warning, child.”

“I’m heeding! I’m heeding! Elder Gods, Stan, the only one who’s supposed to give people nightmares around here is me …”

Straightening up, Stan went back to the stove to continue what passed for cooking with him. “Once you’re done eatin’, by the way, I gotta plate for you to take down to Ford. He prob’ly needs some food and water more ‘n you do.”

Between mouthfuls of food, Bill said, “Yeah, sure … You seen what we wrote, by the way?”

“Yeah. It’s not bad at all. I’d def’nitely go see movies like that. Might even pay my own money for it, too. Heh … Even Soos admitted the storylines are better. Haven’t seen him that downcast ‘bout anything in a while, either. Looked as painful for him as cutting out his own kidney. Might have to do something nice for him soon just to make up for it,” Stan added to himself.

“Huh … Yeah, maybe …” Bill chewed on his breakfast, almost starting to maybe feel guilty. Then, when he finished, he put his dishes in the sink, picked up what was meant for Ford, and took it down to the lab.

Ford, as usual, was at his desk. He was hunched over with a pen, which was also fairly usual. However, and this was very unusual, all his notes and Journals had been pushed into a corner—neatly stacked, but well out of the way. Close to hand, as if for quick reference, was actually their Cosmos Conflicts storyline.

Bill cleared his throat. “Brought some breakfast for ya from Stan.” He set it on the desk, but away from any of the papers (just in case). “How you feeling? I woke up with a caffeine hangover I couldn’t escape even when I left my body. Er, clonsuit. Whatever. Same dif.”

“… I didn’t really sleep very deeply,” Ford eventually replied, his voice as hoarse as Bill’s. “Ergo, I can’t really say I woke up with such a hangover, but I’m suffering one all the same.”

“Yeesh, that sucks. Taken anything? Had some water and some food? That helped me.”

“Some water and aspirin, yes, though I’m not sure I could keep much food down … I suppose I ought to try, anyway.”

“If you feel more rotten than a two-week-old apple core, why are you working?” Bill asked, sliding the plate closer.

“I’m not really working, per se,” Ford answered guiltily. “Just … sketching. Some stuff. For what we came up with.”

Bill’s eyes lit up with interest. “Ooo! Really? Can I see? Please?”

For a moment, Ford’s jaw worked. As though trying to control himself.

“It’s okay,” Bill said hurriedly, though unable to fully contain his disappointment. “I get it. I’ll leave you al—”

A couple pages’ worth of images (some rough sketches, some little more than absent doodles, and some rather intricate and detailed) were thrust at the Demon. “Here. Can’t see any harm in you looking at them, anyway, so …” Ford mumbled. Without looking up, he cut in to his food. “Was just doing this since I’m too awake and restless to just not do anything, but too … wooly in the head, I suppose you could say, to do any productive work.”

Bill poured over them, delighting in the imaginative whimsy of them. Most were of characters from the prequels, though with distinctive touches—touches reflecting their own collaboration (such as Otherkin in a stained pilot’s attire, Imdolledupa aiming ruthlessly with a blaster, and Jelived Knights wearing a different style of clothing from Jelived Sentinels or Jelived Healers). But some were very different, especially among the doodles. “Ha! You made a Soos Wookie!”

Ford couldn’t resist smiling. “Soosbacca. Co-pilot to Stan Solo.”

“In their spaceship, the Mystery Falcon, right? Is Melody a Wookie, too?”

“Huh … That’s not a bad idea, actually. I was having a hard time seeing how to fit her in, since she isn’t really the Princess Leia type.”

“But Mabel and—pff!—Dipper are?” Bill snorted, pointing to where they were both sketched with the iconic braids wrapping around their ears. “Both of them together?”

“Well, they’re also both Luke, since I couldn’t really pick who fit which roll better.”

“Two sets of the twins running around, huh?” Bill murmured, though he was really thinking about two Dippers (and they weren’t running around, either—they were very much not running). “… And Wendy’s Lando, I see. Am I Yoda, since I’m the most triangular or everybody, and the right size?”

“Uh …” Ford hesitated.

“Pff, it’s alright, I can already see 3PO and R2 are both me.”

Lamely, the Weirdologist explained, “Because you’re shiny. That’s the extent of the logic.”

“You gonna do any more sketches?”

“Assuming I can keep breakfast down, probably,” Ford said around a mouthful. “It’s … distracting. And fun. And relaxing, too. Helps to pass the time on a down day like this.”

“Um … M-mind if I stay and watch? Please?” Bill almost begged. “Y’know how much I love watching you meatbags make art.”

“… Oh, fine,” Ford relented. Because what was the harm in being nice to the Demon? Ford didn’t have to trust him for that. “Just don’t make any noise. My head aches enough as it is.”

Bill mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key before pulling up a chair and settling himself comfortably beside Ford. The only time he broke his silence after that was to ask Ford if he wanted more water, and to assert that the others would get a kick out of seeing these sketches (“especially Soos … the Twins, too, though we’d have to text ‘em a photo of ‘em, or mail the whole project to ‘em to see …”).

All in all, it turned out to be a rather nice day for both of them together.

[batterymonster2021]

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/a-christmassy-ted-christmas-special-father-ted-dead-parrot/

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .