#radiology week

[castletees]

Funny Radiology You Pose We Expose Dabbing Skeleton Radiology Tech Week Pet Blanket

[suinotsuki]

College AU: Behind Closed Doors (And One That Wasn’t)

A/N: I just decided to post my fanfics also here on Tumblr. But, all of these are cross-posted to my AO3 account too along with the other SenHaku Week 2021 fanfics of mine! Fanfic Links: AO3 | FF.net

Other Links: Dr. Stone Masterlist

College AU where Kohaku and Senku deal with being roommates. SenHaku Week 2021 Day 3: Roommates

Stone University was the most prestigious school in the country.

The school with their top-notch classes gave birth to genius professionals. That’s why a lot of famous people from various fields came here. Not only did they have tough entrance exams, but the freshmen year was also hellish. But after the gruesome first year, the students could customize a schedule fit for them. Some would say the school had a complicated system.

However, the dorm was more unpredictable.

The students were required to live in the residence hall after the gruesome first year. The rooms were spacious enough to do anything they want. There was a kitchen, a bathroom, beds, closets, and a vacant space. It seemed perfect, but the administration has a way of matching roommates randomly.

It was random enough that two people were having a hard time figuring out the current arrangement.

"Lioness, do you know why they paired us up?" Senku asked as he set down the last of his boxes.

"I'm not a lioness!" Kohaku huffed. "I don't know. I was supposed to be with Ruri." 

"I never heard siblings in different years being roommates."

"There was one before!"

"They were twins." The scientist stuck a finger in his ear and observed the red-faced blonde.

In the end, she turned back to unpacking the rest of her luggage.

They were definitely off to a good start.

------------------------------------------------

The two roommates were already familiar with each other before they lived in the same room.

They came across each other frequently despite being in different programs and clubs. Ruri and Rei were to thank for that. It was the same for their friends. Still, they weren't able to really interact a lot back then. It was only until they became roommates that they got to know each other. Not just their quirks, but also their different studying habits.

Senku glanced from his tablet when he heard a loud thump. Kohaku was troubled again. He knew from the six months of being together that she'd lightly hit her head on the table when she was frustrated with her studies. Tonight was one of those times. He couldn't blame her. Cramming for the finals have always been ten billion percent a pain.

However, he was wondering why did the girl choose Radiologic Technology as her course out of everything. With how active she was in sports clubs, he almost thought she was in Sports Science. She was very involved in the school. A small smile found its way to his lips. He really admired her ability to juggle her academics and extracurriculars.

"Senku," Kohaku called out. She turned her head to face him. "What's wrong?"

A perceptive lioness, as usual.  The boy adjusted from his seat before asking. "Why did you take your course?"

The girl sat up straight and Senku couldn't help but notice how her blue eyes were full of emotions. "We had to rush Ruri to the hospital before. The radiologist there discovered my sister had pneumonia. If we found out late, she would have died."

"Ruri has been doing well already."

"And, I'm happy about that." Kohaku smiled. "I wanted to be like that radiologist. I wanted to save people like her."

The two settled into silence once she was done speaking. There were no more words to be said. It wasn't awkward. It was... comfortable.

The night continued with a peaceful silence around them.

------------------------------------------------

By the time they hit their junior year, their schedules were different from each other.

Senku's timetable was filled with classes in the morning. By the time it was afternoon, he was either in his club or in their room. Her roommate was mostly spending his time crafting a spacecraft. Whether it was his own choice or because his program demanded it, he was occupied.

Kohaku was busier. She alternated her schedule between classes and clubs. The girl claimed that staying still and listening to all the lectures were going to drive her crazy. It's why she opted to squeeze her clubs in the middle to get some fresh air. She even had to practice for competitions from time to time.

The two developed a routine throughout the time they spent. They always had dinner together despite their busy schedules. If they couldn't, they'd grab a snack at least.

After coming from a long tiring kendo practice, the lioness desperately needed a shower. She opened the door to their room and was greeted by the cold air. Her grip on the box full of mille-feuille tightened as she shivered. She couldn't let the box drop to the floor. It was their snack before Senku leaves for dinner with Byakuya, Lillian, and Rei. 

"Senku, it's too co-" Kohaku stopped upon seeing the Aerospace Engineering student asleep on his desk. The afternoon sun was the only thing illuminating their room, and it created a paradisical image of their space. She would have continued to be in trance at the scene in front of her if it wasn't for the soft rustling sound of the papers on the floor.

Placing the box of sweets on the kitchen counter, she tiptoed to his bed and took the neatly folded blanket. The girl unfolded it with a flourish sending some papers flying. She'd pick that up later. For now, she should make sure her roommate won't be freezing by the time she finishes her bath.

She was fast to clean up the room. She had to. There are two more hours until his family arrives.

As she was about to get into the bath, courage struck her. The blonde glanced back to the sleeping figure by the window. The silly thought in her head pushed her forward to do something uncharacteristic. With steps as light as a fairy, Kohaku hurried to his side and planted a gentle kiss. She practically ran to the bathroom after that.

And if Senku felt her lips on his exposed forehead, he didn't dare to open his eyes and speak of it.

------------------------------------------------

When their senior year started, the roommates already gained an almost perfect understanding of each other.

That included the awful luck one student has.

Days before his thesis defense, Senku just had to be down with a fever. It wasn't the kind that will immediately go away with a good night's sleep. He struck gold with the one that made him incapacitated to move. On the bright side, he didn't have to prepare for the defence.

"I'm sorry, lioness." The engineering student weakly apologized.

From the small kitchen, Kohaku resisted the urge to snap at the nickname. It wouldn't do them good if she did. He needed rest more after 'accidentally' overworking himself. He should conserve his energy more.

The blonde decided to focus on cooking the ramen. No matter how sick he was, he always had the appetite for it. It's one of the reasons why she decided to learn to cook it from him. The taste wasn't like the one they bought in the ramen house an hour away from the university, but it was close enough.

Taking care of Senku was definitely a piece of cake for her. She already did this many times not only to him but also to her sister. When the food was cooked, she made sure he was propped up and the ramen wasn't steaming hot for him to eat. They ate in silence with the lioness having to spoonfeed him.

Once they were done, Kohaku got busy cleaning up. The earlier she could get the boy to rest, the better. She still had to smooth things out for her practicals. He might be almost done with his requirements, but she still had two to fix.

"Kohaku?" Senku called her name as she tucked him in.

The lioness swore her heart skipped a beat. "Yes?"

"Thank you." And with that, the boy placed a tiny kiss on her forehead and he sleepily chuckled. "I remember that too."

No more than a minute did he fall asleep, leaving her shocked from his actions. She held her face as a blush slowly crept to her face. Memories of the stunt she did a year ago rushed to the surface, and she felt more embarrassed than ever.

And if Senku felt her kiss from before, he did dare to speak of it while in a state of a delirious fever.

------------------------------------------------

Stone University always had a graduation party for graduates.

It was an event where alumnae and outsiders were welcomed to wander around the school's residence halls. Some freshmen would take this opportunity to have a sneak peek of their stay. For the seniors, it was their last opportunity to have a feel of their second home.

Kohaku and Senku stood in the middle of their room, taking one last look at everything before they start packing tomorrow. They weren't the type to feel melancholic. It wasn't like they couldn't help it. There were so many memories of their stay here.

Honestly, they still didn't know why the school administration decided to put them in the same room.

"Senku!"

"Kohaku."

The graduates turned their attention to the source of the voice. They found Rei and Ruri smiling at them from the doorway.

"Ruri? Rei?" Kohaku tilted her head to the side.

"We knew you'd be here!" Rei answered as she bounded to Senku with a bouquet of hydrangeas. "After all, we picked out this room for the two of you!"

"We hope you had a lot of good memories here. Congratulations on graduating." Ruri casually said.

For a while, the two roommates weren't sure if they heard Rei correctly. They turned their heads toward each other and looked back at their older sisters. If Ruri and Rei picked out this room for them, then...

"Rei, did you just say..." Senku trailed off.

"We picked out this room for the two of you!" His older sister repeated, but this time with a more cheerful voice.

"But, how?" The younger blonde exclaimed.

"As part of the student council, we had privileges." Ruri glanced at Rei. "Since Rei and I were friends, we thought the two of you might get along well too."

Silence.

The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. It was a needed silence though. Whatever theory Senku and Kohaku had before, it was proven wrong in an instant by their sisters. 

"All this time, we believed ten billion percent that the administration was behind it." Senku chuckled. "I didn't consider the student council. That explains why the school got crazier when Ryusui became president."

"Ruri, why didn't you tell me?" Kohaku asked her sister.

Ruri made an apologetic face. "Sorry. It was supposed to be a surprise."

"Anyway, you're missing such a great party downstairs!" Rei pulled on Senku's hands. "Let's go."

"Rei, can you give us a minute?" Ruri and Rei glanced at each other until the older blonde smiled knowingly. 

Kohaku smiled when their older sisters left. It would probably be a long time before she and Senku would be able to meet again. They already have promising futures ahead of them. They would be busy with their lives.

Before any of them could say a word, the two closed the distance and tightly hugged each other. Three years. It took them three years to have this kind of hug.

It wasn't the end, but they might as well start with one hug.

[meatexe]

day um 29 of bleeding. am i allowed to kill myself yet

[thewomanwithmissingfingers]

The way tht i could get a train to another country for the same price as getting a train to visit home which i do on a fairly regular basis… life is so idiotic

[fungits]

QUITTING SMOKING ROUND TWO LETSGO!!

[wickerthoughts]

Another rejection today

[virtuosicstudyblr]

Radiology exam coming up next week!

[five-rivers]

radiology

for @dekalko-mania and @dragonsdomain

Danny looked down at his arm and leg, then up at the ER desk, then over to his mother, sitting next to him, who had witnessed the car ‘clipping’ him.  Unknown to her, it had done quite a bit more than clip him.  Anyone else, and the driver’d have a vehicular homicide charge on his hands, not just a hit and run.  

If she hadn’t been watching– If he’d seen the car– 

Well, then he wouldn’t be in this mess, would he?  He would’ve dodged, or gone intangible, or just hidden the injuries he did get until they cleared up.  Just like he’d hidden all the other injuries he’d gotten that week. 

Although, he could admit that these were pretty bad, all things considered.  Worse than he usually got, which was incredible, considering he’d gotten it from something as banal as a car accident. 

Less banal were the other injuries he was sporting.  Like, new broken bones and bruises?  That’s what he was supposed to have.  That’s what was normal to have after a car accident.

Old broken bones and bruises… He definitely still had the ones from being hit by the car, but they just as definitely had started healing already, faster than a normal human’s ever could.  So had the broken bones and bruises he’d gotten earlier in the week after a particularly nasty fight with Aragon, the bites from the ghost bear, the stab wound from an anti-ghost knife (thanks Valerie)...  But they were still there.  Those would be harder to explain.  If he even could explain them.  

He needed to figure out how to hide all of this.  Like, obviously, he couldn’t hide everything.  He had been hit by a car, and, more importantly, he’d been seen getting hit by a car.  But the weirder stuff?  He could do that.  

“Fentons?” called the receptionist.  “They’re ready with the x-ray.”

“He’s going to need a wheelchair,” said Maddie.  

They got him a wheelchair, despite his protests that he could still walk, and wheeled him over to radiology.  He eyed the x-ray machine with trepidation and distaste.  It didn’t look like much, not compared to some of the machines he’d been in, but that didn’t mean it didn’t have the power to destroy his life.  Metaphorically.  Probably couldn’t do it literally.  Probably.  

A woman leaned into the room.  “Mrs. Fenton, we have a question about your insurance.”

“Right, okay, I’ll be right back, sweetie.”

“Don’t worry,” said the radiologist, who was adjusting something on her computer.  “We’d actually ask you to leave the room while we did this anyway.  No reason to irradiate you today.”

“My jumpsuit would–”

“Mrs. Fenton, the insurance.”

“Yes, yes,” said Maddie, she walked out, leaving Danny behind with the radiologist and the nurse that had helped them back here.  

The nurse helped the doctor make sure he was arranged properly for the x-ray, each limb in place, while the radiologist took a series of images.  Then he got him back into the wheelchair.  

“Thanks David, I think we’ll be okay here for now, if you need to get back to the ER.  I’ll call Molly when Mr. Fenton’s ready to get his bones set.”

“Alright,” said the nurse, nodding.  “You’ll be in good hands, kid, Molly’s great.”

That left Danny alone with the radiologist, who was clicking through Danny’s x-rays on her computer and rapidly paling.  With a flash, he went ghost and phased into the radiologist.  

He didn’t like overshadowing people very much anymore.  It had been fun at first, getting to be someone else.  Like playing a part.  But being the part, being puppeted… That was a lot less fun, and once Danny realized that, he stopped, except for when it was going to save a life.  Or his secret.  Which was pretty much his life.  

He stared at the computer screen.  Overshadowing someone didn’t mean that he knew what they knew.  Not really.  But he did get echoes.  Impressions.  Bits of emotion.  Sometimes, he even got a snippet of something they knew so well that it was basically muscle memory.  So, he knew his x-rays were screwed up, but not in what way, except–

Oh, yeah.  That would do it.  That was probably it, anyway.  He’d forgotten that he’d phased the thermos into his stomach to hide it, earlier.  Along with a couple pencils, a spoon, and various other small objects.  That was probably also related to why his liver felt so bruised…  He hadn’t realized it’d show up in x-ray even though it was intangible, but then, Danny was still visible while intangible, unless he went invisible at the same time, so…  Yeah…  Huh, the physics behind that had to be wild. 

But that wasn’t relevant right now.  He was hurt enough that he didn’t think he could hold onto the radiologist for more than a few minutes longer.  She wasn’t really fighting him, but she had a strong sense of self.  

However… he deleted all his x-rays.  That was step one.  Now, she had to have, like, spares or something.  Something he could substitute in for the images he’d just deleted.  He minimized the window and started looking through the radiologist’s files.  The spares might not have bones broken in the same places… or even broken bones at all, but that was fine.  People got lucky in accidents all the time.  He could play it off as the car not hitting him that hard.  Or something.  

Panic and aching pain may have disrupted his thought processes just a little bit.  

Finally, he found something labeled EXAMPLE 20XX.  That’d work.  That was over ten years ago, for all that it looked like the right file type for the x-ray program, so hopefully the radiologist wouldn’t recognize it.  

He loaded the pictures up and fled the radiologist’s body.  Just in time, too.  As the radiologist was orienting herself, Maddie came back in, a scowl on her face.  However, the scowl quickly turned into naked worry when she saw Danny.  

“Were you able to take his pictures already?”

“Yes, we have a new fast imager.  But these are…”  She trailed off, examining the screen intensely.  

“Is something wrong?” asked Maddie.

“Well,” said the radiologist, “come look.”

Maddie crossed the distance between Danny and the radiologist.  “Oh, thank goodness, I don’t see any breaks.”

“And that would be good, if these were his bones.”

“They’re not?”

“Not unless he’s a thirty-five year old woman,” she said.  “Sorry, this is my sample set.  It shouldn’t be connected to his– Nothing like this has happened before.  I didn’t even have my samples open.”

“Could the undo button help?” asked Maddie.  

“I mean, if they were in here at all, maybe,” said the radiologist.  

Tucker was going to kill him for not restarting that program.  And the computer.  And emptying the ‘trash’ bin.  And probably a dozen other things that would have prevented from the radiologist and his mother being able to restore everything with a few clicks of an ‘undo’ button.  

“Oh, here they are, they’re…”  She started losing color again.  “Mrs. Fenton, do you have any idea what this… what these things are?  Or how he could have…  Dear lord, I think these are more break than bone.”  

Maddie turned to Danny.  Her stance looked casual, but Danny knew she could whip out a gun faster than you could blink.  

“Danny,” she said, “can you explain any of this?”

[ohtobeleah]

Whump Concept: Ex!wife reader of Bradley Bradshaw is the sonographer at I-med Radiology. You don't know it until you have the clipboard of your next client in your hand. Its marked Bradshaw….for a 12 week pregnancy scan.

Rooster is having a baby after years of telling you point blank he never wanted kids. Turns out he just didn't want kids with you.

[write-or-run]

Jack and Maddy as Justice League consultants

As the world's foremost experts on ectobiology the Fentons are an invaluable resource, and their activities probably count as vigilantism, but The JL never invited the couple as official JL members. 

Officially this is due to the Fentons being so specialized in ghosts and ectobiology. The Fentons are brilliant scientists, that much is indisputable. With their skills in biology, radiology, and engineering they managed to quantify a form of magic and pioneer a whole new field of study. 

It's just that they can get a little… absentminded. 

This ends up a moot point when Fentons (believing that the JL was about to invite them to join) state that they intend to focus on studying ghosts. But don't worry they would be happy to help out with any ghost problems!

…

edit: got rid of the duplicated paragraphs, Super embarrassing!!!

The League first became entangled with the Fentons when a young sorcerer named Nicolas Edgar Nolan, more commonly known as Nick Necro, launched an attack on the members of the Justice League. He sought revenge on Giovanni Zatara for rejecting him as a student when the stage magician discovered that Nick had become involved with a dark cult. 

Nick had managed to get his hands on a gauntlet that allowed him to create gremlin-like servants by sacrificing the lifeforce of other creatures. (Unbeknownst to him, the artifact's original owner, known only as the Overlord, was locked away within the gauntlet. With each additional minion the Overlord gains more influence over the user) The dark sorcerer had sent these creatures to attack the Justice League, thereby leaving Zatara without his allies. 

The artifact is eventually identified by Zatara as the Gauntlet of Tyranny, one of many curios that could be found in the Infinity Realm. Due to the gauntlet’s nature, its creations had the same properties as those of the Infinity Realm’s denizens, making them very hard to defeat. 

At least they were, until a couple of crackpot graduates from the University of Wisconsin-Madison came blasting onto the scene. 

Like everyone else in the world, the recently married Fentons were paying close attention to broadcasts about the latest alien invasion. Of course the couple were able to recognize the ghostly origin of the minion’s powers, and the pair immediately packed up their home-made ghostbusting equipment and set out on the most important cross-country trip of their life! (Unfortunately there was no way for them to fly out as the airport security refused to let them bring their blasters onboard)

Since Zatara’s main place of residence was in Gotham, that's where Nick Necro focused his attacks. It's also the direction that Jack and Maddy’s prototype Fenton Finder points them towards.

The Fentons make their way to Gotham with a trail of defeated minions and property damage behind them. Along the way they encounter Flash, Hawkwoman, and Captain Atom. The Fentons supply the heroes with their prototype ecto-based weaponry. Unfortunately the scientists don't wait to explain anything so the heroes are left to figure out who that couple was and how the gadgets work.

Flash is given a glowing baton that pops the minions on contact. Unfortunately it’s battery cant hold a charge and Flash has to keep repowering it with his lightning. 

Hawkwoman is frustrated when the hard light ecto-blade keeps fritzing out, but discovers the nth-metal of her mace stabilizes it. 

Captain Atom gets a giant tuning fork to his confusion. Eventually he figures out that by channeling his power through it the nearby minions are forcibly gathered at the fork’s end, and he can take them all out with one blast.

Upon arriving at Gotham the Fentons make their way to the city’s last operating clinic, arriving just in time to save doctor Leslie Thompkins. Together they fortify the clinic and set up a shield that keeps out all ghostly beings. 

Poor Batman hasn't gotten a break all week. A mystery enemy had been ambushing members of the League. By the time they identified the culprit as Nick Necro the man had been able to gather enough forces to launch a siege against America's largest cities, with a special focus on Gotham due to it being the home of Nick’s target, Giovanni Zatara. Now some unknown vigilanties were setting up base in his godmother's clinic. Sure the couple claim to want to help, but Batman didn't get this far by trusting people at face value. He interrogates them about everything,  why are you here, how do you know so much about the attackers, what are your devices, etc…

The Fentons are thrilled that this bat-themed fellow is so interested in their work and are happy to gush about it in between shooting minions. Batman is immediately given full access to their makeshift lab and equipment without so much as a thought to security or safety.

Baman begrudgingly teams up with the Fentons but will definitely do a more thorough (re: invasive) investigation on the Fentons later. But for now they cooperate to make a device that neutralizes the Gauntlet of Tyranny.

…

And that’s how it all started.

On one hand Jack and Maddie now have a support system of fellow scientists and vigilantes. On the other hand they are now heroes in the DCU.

Occasionally Jack and Maddie end up on comic book flavored adventures (I'm watching clips of Batman the Brave and the Bold while coming up with this). When they're gone the Fenton kids are usually looked after by their parents' work friends. Mr Terrific, Atom, Swamp Thing, Barry Allen, etc. At some point 12 yr old Dick ends up babysitting 6 yr old Jazz and 4 yr old Danny.

[elumish]

As a new story for my ongoing saga of "people don't write medical stuff absurdly enough," I have a doctor where I need to get tests done before I meet with them so they look at the results, and sometimes I have multiple tests between appointments if my appointment are far enough apart. All fairly normal, in terms of medical stuff.

The doctor and the radiology department for that doctor are both part of the same health system, and they are not only in the same building but on the same floor as each other. They share a waiting room. They are literally within shouting distance.

They will not talk to each other.

They have, on more than one occasion, not communicated results from the tests to the doctor. They have also, on more than one occasion, not communicated the need for tests to the testing people.

Currently, the testing people recommended follow-up tests. They need a referral from the doctor. The doctor that is 15 feet away from them. They need me to get that referral. From the doctor. The doctor that is 15 feet away from them.

To make it all worse, the doctor's office returns calls any time between one week and infinity weeks after you leave a message. They also do not pick up their phone. At one point, the only way I got them to answer me was by faxing them a question.

I am currently trying the process of "send a message through their online system" to see if they check that more frequently than they check their voicemail system.

Somehow, they still aren't even my worst "communicating with a doctor's office" experience.

[castletees]

Funny Radiology You Pose We Expose Dabbing Skeleton Radiology Tech Week Spiral Notebook

[wheelie-sick]

Nervous System Effects of Systemic Lupus Erythematosus

AKA I spent hours suffering trying to find all this information and I want you to not have to do that!

Cerebrovascular

1. Stroke

"...studies have shown that stroke occurs more frequently in people with SLE than in the general population, with ischemic stroke developing in up to 20% of lupus patients..." link

2. Cerebral Small Vessel Disease

"CSVD is an umbrella term for a variety of conditions resulting from damage to small blood vessels in the brain. In most cases, CSVD is caused by the narrowing or obstruction of small blood vessels in the brain due to inflammation and/or a buildup of misfolded proteins called plaques. This chronic damage can starve brain cells of oxygen and cause internal bleeding, which in turn can damage other nearby brain cells." link

Diagnosed via a brain MRI to look for bleeding of the small blood vessels, damage to white matter, and small strokes - link

Occasionally is confused for Multiple Sclerosis - link

"Quantified MRI brain studies of individuals with lupus show significantly accelerated cerebral SVD, suggesting that this is the most frequently observed radiological–pathological brain abnormality in lupus...." link

CSVD is a large cause of dementia in the general population but the significance of these findings in SLE patients is unknown - link

Central Nervous System

1. Transverse Myelitis

"Transverse myelitis is a neurological condition that happens when both sides of the same section of the spinal cord become inflamed. This inflammation can damage myelin, the fatty substance that covers your nerves. Loss of myelin often leads to spinal cord scarring that blocks nerve impulses and results in physical problems." link

Symptoms can develop quickly or over the span of several weeks. Symptoms include back pain, neck pain, paresthesia, loss of bowel and/or bladder control, and heightened sensitivity to touch - link

Diagnosed via CT, MRI, or myelography - link

Differential diagnosis of comorbid Neuromyelitis Optica Spectrum Disorder - link

Transverse myelitis occurs in approximately 1% of lupus patients - link

2. Autoimmune Aseptic Meningitis

"...an inflammatory condition affecting the meninges, the protective membranes surrounding the brain and spinal cord..." - link

"Given that many individuals with lupus are immunosuppressed, a critical differential diagnosis is one of infectious meningitis caused by typical or opportunistic pathogens." - link

May cause nausea, fever, and neck stiffness among other symptoms - link

Diagnosed with a lumbar puncture and/or CT in part to rule out other causes of symptoms - link

3. Chorea

Chorea is a movement disorder causing involuntary, irregular, and unpredictable muscle movements. It affects arms, legs, and facial muscles - link

4. Parkinsonism

Causes slowed movements, tremor, and stiffness - link

Not the same as Parkinson's Disease!

A rare effect of lupus - link

Diagnosed based on brain MRI, single-photon emission computed tomography (SPECT), and response to treatment - link

5. Myoclonus

"Myoclonus is an uncontrollable muscle movement that’s sudden and brief. " link

6. Demyelinating Syndrome

"An association between lupus and MS-like brain changes have been suggested, and sometimes termed “lupoid sclerosis”" link

3.7% of patients have a demyelinating syndrome (though not all have primary SLE demyelination) - link

Demyelinating syndrome may cause vision loss, muscle weakness, muscle stiffness and spasms, loss of coordination, change in sensation, walking problems, and changes in bladder and bowel function - link

7. Lupus headache

"Headache is a highly prevalent disorder in people with SLE, but there is no convincing evidence that this incidence is higher than that seen in the general population. Thus the entity of “lupus headache” is controversial." link

One of the main characteristics of lupus headaches is that they are not remedied by pain medication. lupus headaches require treatment with steroids or immunosuppressants to resolve -- "severe, persistent headache; may be migrainous, but must be nonresponsive to narcotic analgesia" link

8. Posterior reversible encephalopathy syndrome (PRES)

"Posterior reversible encephalopathy syndrome (PRES) is a neurologic disorder in which a person presents with visual disturbance, seizure, headaches, and altered mentation" - source

"Posterior reversible encephalopathy syndrome (PRES) has been increasingly identified in patients with systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE)" - source

8. Seizures

"prevalence of explicit episodes of seizures among SLE patients, varies from 2 to 8%." - link

"SLE patients with recurrent seizures usually have abnormal findings on EEG, consistent with focal aware events, epilepsy with impaired awareness and focal to bilateral tonic-clonic epilepsy, as demonstrated by Appenzeller and colleagues who found that 9.7 % of patients with single epileptic seizure had abnormal EEG findings, compared to 100 % abnormal EEG findings, commonly on temporal lobe, in patients with recurrent seizures" - link

Peripheral Nervous System

1. Cranial Nerve Disorder

"Cranial nerve disorder refers to an impairment of one of the twelve cranial nerves that emerge from the underside of the brain, pass through openings in the skull, and lead to parts of the head, neck, and trunk. These disorders can cause pain, tingling, numbness, weakness, or paralysis of the face including the eyes." - source

"Cranial nerve involvement is also relatively uncommon and usually transient, occurring in 10% of patients with SLE." - source

2. Peripheral Neuropathy

"Peripheral neuropathy happens when the nerves that are located outside of the brain and spinal cord (peripheral nerves) are damaged. This condition often causes weakness, numbness and pain, usually in the hands and feet. It also can affect other areas and body functions including digestion and urination." - source

"Peripheral neuropathy occurs in as many as 18% of patients with SLE" - source

Ocular

1. Optic Neuritis

"The optic nerve itself can sometimes be inflamed in lupus, or it can be affected when the blood vessels supplying the nerve are themselves inflamed (that is, ischemic optic neuropathy). This can lead to a change in vision, or even vision loss." - source

"Optic neuritis is an uncommon neurologic manifestation of systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE) and can be seen in about 1% of lupus patients" - source

"Optic neuritis usually affects one eye. Symptoms might include: Pain, vision loss in one eye, visual field loss, loss of color vision, and flashing lights." - source

Autonomic Nervous System

1. Autonomic Neuropathy

"Autonomic neuropathy occurs when there is damage to the nerves that control automatic body functions. It can affect blood pressure, temperature control, digestion, bladder function and even sexual function." - source

"Autonomic nervous system dysfunction is highly prevalent in SLE patients (up to 54%)" - source

Psychiatric

1. Lupus psychosis

" Psychosis is a serious mental disorder featuring defective thought processes, frequently with delusions or hallucinations." - link

Psychosis is one of the diagnostic criteria for systemic lupus erythematosus

"Differentiation of steroid-induced psychosis from lupus-associated psychosis is particularly challenging" - link

[emgoesmed]

4/11/2024

On interventional radiology this week. It’s cool but my senioritis is extreme by this point and I don’t want to be in the hospital when the weather’s nice. This is my last rotation before graduation. I got my graduation robes in the mail the other day and I’m excited to wear the little hat.

It was my birthday recently and my friends gave me a big bouquet of flowers. My partner got me a new journal and fountain pen. My brother and his girlfriend visited and we showed them our neighborhood, did some touristy things, ate at our favorite restaurants, and watched the eclipse together. It was really fun and really exhausting. Getting back to my usual routine this week has been refreshing and restorative.

[violetsiren90]

All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader

💜 Chapter 3: Part 2 💜

Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)

Pairing: idol!Namjoon/f!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured

Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?

Chapter Word Count: ~7k

Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; depictions of cancer and its treatment; secondhand embarrassment; awkward situations; soulmate skinship; loss of consciousness; dudes dude-broing a bit lol; mentions of minor character death (in past); cursing; chemo therapy and its symptoms; nausea and vomiting; characters eat meals; Reader is starting to grapple with some difficult feelings; Hybe kinda sorta depicted as being collective assholes in responding to this situation (gonna be a theme, guys)

Author's Note: Here comes part two! I know this is months coming (again), but I've finally found my stride with writing and work. I had this mostly done, and then redid some parts and finished editing, and well...I just hope you all enjoy it! My hope is to post part three in two weeks - I really want to get into a groove with plot progression here!

There is a lot of content in this chapter about medical procedures and treatment. I tried my best to represent these as accurately as possible with what information I could acquire, but if there are any misrepresentations, great or small, please don't hesitate to let me know!

Thank you again to all who have stuck with this story! I continue to be blown away by how much love you have all showered upon it, and I'm so excited to walk the path I intend for these two and have you all along for the ride!!

P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or an ask!

P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

"Out of sheer taciturnity the ceiling listens To the fall of ancient leafless rain, To feathers, to whatever the night imprisoned." ~Pablo Neruda

Chapter 3: My Windows Ache

Namjoon's labs had come back with even more promising numbers. A radiology scan had shown no shrinkage in his tumors, but the doctors commented that these were early days, and that the effects of the bond might even be keeping them from inflaming due to the chemo. You had watched him, smiling as the doctor reviewed the result, and couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. Your soulmate was on the road to recovery. 

     Nurse Cha quickly checked both of you over before initiating another skinship session.

     "I saw you out on the grounds earlier, and for the first time in weeks," she said, shooting Namjoon an approving grin. "Keep that up. He needs sunlight and fresh air," she remarked to you, flustering you even as you nodded in agreement.

     Why was she telling you that? Were you his keeper?

     Actually, you supposed, in fact, you were.

     You peeked back up at him and found him regarding you with a small, amused smile, which disconcerted you further. You shook your head, shooting him an eye-roll as you made your way into the bathroom to disrobe.

     After your first few experiences with skinship, you had asked Matt to acquire you some sporty, conservative sports bra and boy-short sets, and you slipped into one, pulling a hospital gown over it. After the way your conversation with Hyung-seo had unfolded you were glad to have them - the practical underwear felt far less intimate and flirty than your typical bras and panties, giving you much more peace of mind. 

     As you left the bathroom and made your way back to Namjoon's half of the suite, you noticed him sitting on top of the covers, long legs stretched out in front of him, in nothing but a black tee and blue boxers. He had a drip attached to a tube that ran under his shirt. When Nurse Cha glanced up from her touchscreen tablet to see you approaching, she waved her hand for you to come around to the other side of the bed, which had been adjusted to accommodate Namjoon's upright position.

     "We’re going to try this sitting up today," she explained as she typed. "He's on a chemo drip right now, and the doctor wants to see if the bond will help ease the nausea and some of the other side effects. I heard you just had a nice lunch, so it would be wonderful if Namjoon could hang onto his."

     She shot him a rueful smirk and he let out a chuckle. You smiled in turn and nodded as you slipped off your hospital gown and draped it over the end of the bed. You glanced up at Namjoon who had cast his eyes down at his hands, folded in his lap. The huge apparatus was lower than usual, so you slipped rather easily into it and against Namjoon's side. He raised an arm to drape over your shoulders and you settled against him, pressing your bare leg against his. It was comical how much shorter yours were, but you could only think of that for a fraction of a second as every other thought in your mind melted at the feeling of the man beside you.

     Butter. Warm, melted butter. It was as if every single muscle group in your body had suddenly released every bit of tension it had been holding. So many sensations at once, but this was the one you felt like leaning into at the moment. You felt like collapsing against him.

He sighed deeply through his nose. Yeah, you felt that on a spiritual level. Mmh. 

     Your melty, bond-induced reverie was broken, however, by a dissatisfied noise from Nurse Cha as she stepped toward the bed. You looked up to find her expression matched her tone. 

     "You're not really getting much contact," she said, scanning her eyes over everywhere you touched...and didn't. 

     You raised your arms slightly and a bit uselessly. You felt Namjoon lean forward.

     "Should I...like..." you looked to her for direction, but she was already in motion. 

     She grabbed your arm, guiding you off the bed and motioned for Namjoon to scoot back to the middle. She said something to Namjoon in Korean and suddenly he was tugging his shirt over his head. You felt your cheeks getting hot. Social norms had not prepared you for this amount of casual nudity. You stood there, eyes glued to Nurse Cha, hugging your arms over your middle and hoping that Namjoon was playing his usual blessed game of "look anywhere but soulmate". The nurse took your arm again and guided you back toward your previous perch.

     "Sit between his legs and lean back against his chest," she instructed, nudging you to join him.

You looked up at Namjoon. His face looked like you felt. And then it was just too much. You were standing in a hospital in South Korea in your underwear being asked to sit in a practically naked celebrity's lap so that he wouldn't die.

     You busted out laughing.

     Nurse Cha jumped, surprise clear in her features as she regarded you. 

     "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You gasped, bending over to support yourself against the bed as you continued to chuckle, "This is just..."

     You snorted. Mortified but still attempting to swallow your giggles you clapped a hand over your mouth and looked up at Namjoon whose dimples were out and whose shoulders were shaking with his own silent amusement. Nurse Cha's lips curved up a bit to one side, but her narrowed eyes spoke of far less hilarity felt.

     "Here's the thing," you said, turning to the nurse while still biting back your laughter, "Namjoon is spoken for, and...well...I have a pretty nice ass."

     The nurse's eyes widened.

     You were probably being really impolite. That would have been borderline in the States. You weren't sure about here, but you felt like that might have broken some unspoken rules. Or, maybe spoken ones because there were a lot of formalities, you were learning. But you had reached your limit with all this. The awkwardness levels were at maximum, and you were gonna cope the only way you knew how - with humor.

     When you hazarded a look at your soulmate, he had drawn his knees up, grabbing them with his hands, his head dropped between them and his shoulders shaking as he badly repressed laughter of his own. You could see those dimples again. They were even deeper than before.

     "We need to get maximum skin-to-skin contact during these sessions," Nurse Cha insisted indignantly, clearly a bit flustered. 

     "I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you offered her a contrite smile as you rocked back on your feet. 

     "Ah!" Namjoon drew your attention as he pointed behind you. "Throw me that pillow?" 

     You grabbed the little green cushion from the corner of the couch and tossed it to him. He lowered his legs and placed it over his lap.

     "How's that?" he asked with a closed-lip smirk.

     You gave him a thumbs up and clambered back onto the bed to situate yourself between his legs. You looked back over at Nurse Cha. 

     "Better?" 

     She raised a brow as she handed you a blanket. You thanked her quietly and cleared your throat as you fanned it out over your legs and Namjoon's, tucking it up to your waist. The nurse checked Namjoon's vitals and said that she would return in an hour to take him off the drip.

     You sank back tentatively against your soulmate's chest, careful to avoid the little port below his sternum. There it was again. Butter.

     Somewhere above and behind you, Namjoon chuckled. You smiled knowingly.

     "What?" you asked indignantly.

     "Did you see her face when you said that?"

     You shrugged against him.

     "Hey, it's true!" you insisted.

     "Sorry if this is uncomfortable for you," he murmured.

     You could hear that he was still smiling, but he sounded serious all the same. You let your head fall back.

     "Honestly, I felt bad for you," you huffed in another laugh before sobering. "And, thank you," you turned, casting your eyes up over your shoulder, "For always being so respectful. It's made this a lot easier."

     "Oh," Namjoon responded softly, "Of course." 

     You looked at his arms resting at his sides and thought of what Nurse Cha had said. You slowly picked up his hands in yours, raising them slightly.

     "May I put them around me? For more contact," you asked.

     You asked it boldly, but you felt shy. You wanted the chemo to work. You wanted it to stop hurting him while it did. When Namjoon let out a low hum of assent you drew his forearms around your waist and laid your own over them.

     Your eyes slipped shut. So euphoric but it always made you feel like sleeping. You weren't going to give into the urge, though, not just yet. There were conversations to be had.

     "Tell me about Hyung-seo," you prompted softly, shifting against him to get comfortable. 

     He was quiet for a moment.

     "Well," he responded slowly, "what do you want to know?"

     "How did you meet her?"

     He went quiet again. Then he sighed a small sigh. You wondered what that little breath carried.

     "She debuted in 2019. A buddy of mine - Seo Jungkwon, he goes by Tiger JK in the industry -  had signed her to his agency. Bangtan was just taking off, things were blowing up. I actually collaborated with him which is when I met her."

     He silenced for a moment.

     "We had a lot in common - how we approached life and music."

     "Had?" you asked, gently.

     He heaved another sigh. 

     "The last few years have been really tough on her. I mean, she hasn't had an easy life to begin with, but..."

     He paused, as if deciding whether or not to utter the words he wanted to say next.

     "Anyway," he redirected himself, and you wondered what thought he had dismissed, "Preparing for a tour is grueling, and this is her first one. I think the stress is really getting her."

     You hummed in acknowledgement. You recognized it in his voice - you should after all, as the same sound had echoed so often in your own - the hollow clemency of lying to yourself on someone else's behalf. 

     "Well," you offered, "She's lucky to have you supporting her, especially when you're going through such a difficult time yourself."

     Namjoon scoffed.

     "I mean, yeah, I'm sick, but...I don't know. In a lot of ways my life has been a lot easier these days. A lot simpler."

     "Really? In what way?"

     He huffed out a wry laugh.

     "I have so much time to just do whatever. Read, write...I've been learning a couple of languages. I get to do v-lives with ARMY pretty regularly, as the company allows - Jungkook went kind of crazy with it before enlistment so we have to go through them for access now."

     You had no idea what a v-live was, but from what little you had seen of Jungkook, you could imagine it took very little for him to get up to a significant amount of shenanigans. You smirked.

     "Did you have so little time for those things before?" you queried.

     "No! No way. It was like running non-stop for ten years. During my time in the military, I got a bit of a break and a change, but then I got sick and had to be discharged early, so...well, I didn't even get to experience that like I should have."

     You felt your hands tighten in response around his forearms. His life hadn't been cake-walk either, that was clear. You wondered if he knew that, if he acknowledged it.

     "Well, I'm glad you have more time for those things. You should keep as much time for them as you can, even when you're better."

     He paused for a moment before whispering agreement into your hair. You felt it even though he didn't say it, the caveat - if he got better. He would. You'd never make him a promise you couldn't guarantee, but you could make one to yourself. So you did.

     For the rest of the session you talked about Bangtan, and the recent history of the group's situation.

     You learned about conscription and that it applied to idols as well. You learned the members had decided to enlist pretty much around the same time so that they could reunite to tour again after being discharged. Namjoon had been released ahead of schedule when he had fallen ill, and at this point most of the members had followed, save Yoongi who was set to be discharged the following week. He fondly reported that they were all anxious to meet you, and that Jungkook and Jimin hadn't stopped pestering him with all manner of questions in your regard since their visit the previous day.

     Every time you had heard him speak about his members, the deep brotherly affection that permeated his words was incredibly evident. 

You asked him to tell you about each one, and he did.

     You blinked your eyes open as you felt Namjoon shift you in his arms. You slowly pulled yourself forward, struggling to focus.

     "I...I'm sorry," you murmured, "I fell asleep on you again." 

     Namjoon chuckled and assured you it was quite alright. As you wearily slipped off the mattress to stand, you suddenly felt the room tilt and your knees buckle. Namjoon's reflexes were quick enough to catch you in his arms. He stood to pull you up and hold you against him.

     "You okay?" he asked in concern.

     "I...I got dizzy..."

     You attempted to put your weight into your legs, but failed, sagging weakly against his broad frame.

     Nurse Cha was already in motion.

     "Help her to the bed," she ordered, striding across the room. 

     Namjoon wasted no time in scooping you up in a bridal carry to follow her. You gasped despite yourself, the sudden movement and his strength equally surprising. But every thought was fleeting as you found yourself struggling to maintain a grip on consciousness.

     You felt Namjoon lay you gently on the bed as cold, sticky monitors were pressed to your skin; heard him ask the nurse what was the matter, his voice tinged with anxiety. 

You heard him say your name.

     And then you heard nothing.

     You groaned as you came to. Your throat felt like the Sahara and your head was pounding. Pushing yourself to sit up, you became aware of the sound of voices on the other side of the curtain. Carefully drawing your legs to the edge of the bed, you clutched your IV stand as you struggled to your feet.

     Pulling back the hanging divider, you were surprised to see Matt occupying the little couch, a cup of coffee on the low table in front of him. Namjoon sat in the opposing chair, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees in rapt attention as the older man spoke. It was dark out.

     "Matt," you croaked, shuffling forward.

     Namjoon's head whipped around at the sound of your voice and he sprang up, just a moment faster than his guest, striding over to take you by the arm. You faltered just a moment in your steps as his hand cradled your elbow and you felt it - his touch and what it did to you. You wanted to curl into him. You wanted him to hold you.

You gently tugged your arm away.

     "You're awake - let me call the nurse," he said, almost to himself as he moved to press the red call button. 

     You sank down beside Matt.

     "What time is it?" you asked in a husky murmur. Your friend checked his watch.

     "1:33am."

     You frowned, blinking blearily.

     "What the heck are you doing here at the hour?"

     "Well!" Matt laughed before taking a sip of his coffee, "It's nice to see you too."

     "You know what I mean..." you grumbled, rubbing your eyes.

     "He called me," he said, gesturing with his raised mug toward Namjoon, who had returned to the armchair. "Said you'd had a fainting spell."

     Your eyes followed his motion to your soulmate, who was already scanning his over you, brow furrowed and full lips pursed pensively.

     "How are you feeling?" Namjoon asked.

     You huffed out a mirthless chuckle.

     "Like I got hit by a freight train."

     The worry lines on his brow deepened.

     "Hey, look..." you held up a hand to wave it weakly between both men as they regarded you in apparent concern. "I'm probably just adjusting to the bond or something. Cancer isn't contagious, you know," you ribbed, shooting a tiny smirk at Namjoon who attempted to return the expression though the smile didn't reach his eyes.

     The night shift nurse and an aid entered the room to assess you. Namjoon asked to speak with a doctor, and was told that Dr. Na would be checking in first thing in the morning. The nurse had very little else to report other than that your blood work had been sent to the lab and that they would be able to determine more once your results were available. He informed Matt that some charts would likely be available in twenty-four hours, but that your CMP could take up to three days. The aid urged you to try to get some more rest. Before departing, the nurse removed your spent sodium chloride drip and said that a meal would be sent up which you were advised to eat if possible, but to be sure to report any signs of food-rejection should they appear.

     Namjoon stood and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he gazed at your little portion of the suit.

     "They want you to rest, but how the hell are you supposed to sleep with me over here snoring? It's keeping you up, right?"

     You smirked.

     "Well, most of my rest over the last couple of days has been due to a lack of consciousness, but I do have to admit that you woke me up a couple of times last night."

    Namjoon groaned discomfitedly.

     "It really isn't a big deal!" you reassured him, "I'm a pretty sound sleeper."

     "And still I woke you up."

     "Don't worry about it..."

     "It's not just that, though," he insisted, hands in the pockets of his sweats and head cocked to one side as he continued to consider the small space across from his. "You don't even have a window. If you want privacy, you have to sit behind that curtain in the tiny bed -- I hate it. I've hated it since they were first preparing for you to arrive. I'll make some calls tomorrow. You need your own room," he stated decidedly, returning to the chair across from you.

He fished his phone out of his pocket and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he fired off a message.

     Namjoon did have a point, it was a pretty meager space you currently occupied. But they must have had a reason, you thought, for wanting you to share a room with him. And you didn't want to cause any kind of fuss in the name of personal convenience that might detract from his treatment or recovery. 

     "Namjoon, it's fine..."

     He looked up at you, his brown eyes assured and determined.

     "Just let me handle it. I've got you."

     A sudden warmth spread through your chest like the rising sun on the frost of your anxieties, his gaze melting away the familiar worry of burdensomeness. You looked away shyly.

     "Good man," Matt said to him with a nod, and they shared a look as your soulmate nodded in return that seemed to be one of mutual masculine respect. You wanted to roll your eyes a little bit. You also felt pretty damn grateful.

     Matt stood to leave, pressing a kiss on your temple and promised that he'd return in the morning. He paused to shake Namjoon's hand.

     "If there are any further developments, don't hesitate to call me," he said, to which the younger man nodded in agreement.

     "Or I can call you!" you rasped after him as he raised his hand in one last gesture of farewell while shutting the door.

     You huffed.

     "Smart guy," Namjoon remarked, sitting back down in his chair. "You know he's read Toegye exhaustively?"

     You raised a brow at him, your lips quirking with a wry grin.

     "Two peas in a pod. He's probably going to be coming around here nonstop until he leaves just so you two can gab in genius."

     Namjoon smiled and touched his fingers absently to his jaw, his eyes trained on the linoleum.

     "Are you bothered that I called him?" he asked abruptly, glancing up at you.

     "What? No, of course not," you reassured him with a shake of your head. "I just..." You rolled your eyes and smirked. "I'm not used to sitting around while boys decide what's best for me."

     "Aaahhh," Namjoon responded with a nod, interlacing his fingers, "Well, you've been looking out for me since you walked through that door back there, and honestly, I could get used to that..." he leaned forward a bit, "But only if I get to return the favor. You said we don't owe each other, but that doesn't mean you get to be the only one doing the giving."

     You stared at him. The only one to do the giving. The words jarred something loose inside you. You swallowed the strange feeling that threatened to well into your throat.

     Before you could respond, an aid entered with your meal. A tray loaded with dakjuk, rice, and several banchan was placed before you. It smelled fantastic, and you actually felt you could eat. You moved to take the tray to your side of the suite but Namjoon stopped you.

"Hey, wait. I'm hungry. I'll eat with you."

He crossed to the other side of the room to pick up the telephone.

"Go ahead," he said with nod of his head a little grin, "Don't wait on me."

     He didn't have to twist your arm. The chicken porridge was steaming and savory, warming you up within just a few bites. A similar tray soon arrived for Namjoon, and you found it did feel far nicer to eat with someone than alone.

     Between bites he asked you about Matt.

     "He's my dad's best friend. When he died - my dad - Matt and his wife Rebecca helped to take care of us for a while. They've been really good to my family."

     Namjoon's face sombered.

     "I'm sorry about your father."

     You smiled softly at him.

     "It was a long time ago, when I was ten. He was a firefighter."

     He nodded quietly, giving you the opening to continue. You decided to take it.

     "A fire broke out at a high-security prison. The situation got really bad with a lot of people still inside - prisoners. They told the team to stop attempting rescues, that it wasn't worth it, for people like that. But my dad kept going. Alone. He saved seventeen more lives before...well, he couldn't make it out."

     When you looked up at Namjoon again his eyes were locked on you, his chopsticks resting idly in his hand.

     "Wow," he murmured after a pause. "And you were ten years old? That must have been so hard."

     You dragged your spoon through your dakjuk.

     "It was. But managing things after he was gone...that was harder, I think."

     Namjoon's brow knit in question but he didn't press you further. For the second time that night, you were grateful. Death was easy to explain, other things were much more difficult.

     You finished the rest of your meal chatting about Matt, Neo-Confucianism, and unequivocal humanism between mouthfuls of rice and porridge.

      The next day, you were moved into your new suite a few doors down. Namjoon had received no resistance from the hospital in procuring you the space, as apparently Hybe's representatives had been the ones to originate the request that you be at the idol's immediate disposal.

     Your room mirrored the setup of your soulmate's, being on the same floor but across the hall, and Kang Dae had dropped in with a catalog stating that you could select whatever you wished to make the space more comfortable. You had circled a few things and he had departed to procure them. Matt had brought the bulk of your luggage, which meant a good portion of books, your art supplies, and finally more clothes which you would blessedly now have no worries of mixing up with Namjoon's. You changed into jeans and a comfy Nirvana graphic tee.

     You were busy unpacking when a knock came at your door. You called for the person to come in while you continued to stack books onto a small set of shelves. The doctor had cautioned you and Namjoon against further skinship sessions until your blood work had come back, so you were anxious for the results, not wanting him to go through another bout of chemo without the aid of the bond. 

When you glanced up expectantly, however, you found your curiosity would have to wait - at least, concerning your charts - as in the entry stood none other than Kim Hyung-seo.

     She lingered in the entryway at the mouth of the space, her arms wrapped around her middle. She looked much more casual today in a pair of big baggy camouflage cargo pants, a tight black crop top, and chunky white sneakers. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, and she had black mask pulled under her chin. She was bare-faced, save for two small red dots under her right eye.

     You stood from your crouched position, trying your best to keep the surprise from your face.

     "Hi," you greeted her with a small smile, which she returned remorsefully, still hugging herself as she glanced around the room. "Would you like to sit down?" you offered, motioning to the furniture beside you. 

     She nodded, crossing over to take a seat in the little arm chair. You moved to sit across from her. Your first instinct was to offer her something to drink, only to realize you were in a hospital room with no way to deliver, at which you both laughed awkwardly. After a moment of tense silence, she looked up at you, gnawing her bottom lip.

     “I owe you an apology," she sighed. 

You gave her an encouraging smile.

     "Fuck..." she dropped her head in her hands, and you waited for her to collect herself. Finally, she raises her eyes to yours, interlacing her fingers with their long white nails in her lap. 

     "What I did...what I said yesterday...I was cunt. I'm sorry." 

     You let out a little laugh at her choice of words.

     "Well, I do accept your apology...but, don't be too hard on yourself. It was a really bizarre and unprecedented situation for all of us. I'm glad we're moving forward, and in a better direction."

You smiled again at her reassuringly.

     She nodded, her lips pursed and quivering slightly. You could tell she was blinking back tears.

     "Me and Joon...we'd only been engaged for a few weeks before we found out...you know, that he had a match. That it could be his only option to live - bonding. With you. It's just all really fucking scary."

     You nodded sympathetically. She released another sigh as she continued.

     "He had to decide so fast, they pushed him to just make this huge life commitment as fast as they fucking could and now..." She raised her arms, looking around the room in resign, "Here we are. And we have to figure everything out, and I'm about to leave and..."

     "I'm sorry," you murmured sympathetically.

She looked down into her lap, worry still twisting her features.

You wondered why she was leaving, now of all times - when things were the way they were. But that wasn't for you to judge.

"You know," you offered hopefully, "At least he's on the mend. At least you know he'll have someone to look after him."

     She hummed. You wondered if it was an agreement as her eyes flitted over your face searchingly. Anxiety from the previous day's encounter began to seep into your chest as you considered if you had chosen your words poorly. You had said what would have comforted you in under the same circumstances. But maybe you were different - too different.

You softened your heart, determined to reserve judgement. Life had given Hyung-seo had her own shoes, and you would do everything you could to understand what it was like to walk in them.

     "Can I add you on KakaoTalk?" you asked, realizing you were still clutching a book, and setting it onto the low table to pull your phone from your pocket.

     She was chewing on her lip again when you looked up. She stared down at the hardback. 

     "You read a lot, huh?" she asked, though it didn't sound like a question.

     "I do," you answered slowly, wondering where her train of thought was headed.

"All that stuff you said yesterday, you seem, like really in tune with people. And smart. You guys are, like, the same."

She pressed the words out in a strained voice. She looked so small and so sad. Your heart sank for her.

"Namjoon actually said that very thing about you yesterday."

She glanced up at you in surprise and confusion. You smiled.

"He said that when you met he was struck with how much you shared in how you saw the world, and how you approached music."

She regarded you silently as you continued.

"And that's your life right, your great love? Music? What a wonderful thing, to base your life with a partner in a love you share."

She nodded slowly, her eyes watering.

"Thank you," she finally whispered, and you nodded in understanding.

You reached out to take her hand and she squeezed yours. After a few moments of silence, she rose and wiped her eyes.

     "I'm leaving tomorrow and I want to see Joon again before I go," she explained. 

     You nodded.

     "Thank you for coming to talk to me and for sharing about how this has been for you. I really appreciate it."    

     She smiled - perhaps genuinely for the first time since you met. It was a lovely smile.

     You sighed as she left. It wasn't much, but it was progress. Maybe she would let you in. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard after all.

     When several hours had passed with no updates on your lab results, you decided to take a walk down the hall to see how your soulmate was faring. You knocked on his door, but received no answer. 

     "Namjoon!" you called softly with another rap of your knuckles, but were still met with silence.

     Just when you were about to turn and go, the door creaked inward on its hinges, slipping open to reveal your soulmate's tired face.

     "I just came to see how you were doing...are you okay?." 

     You followed him as he slumped back into the suite, but before he could even reach his bed he turned and pushed past you to hurry into the bathroom. It caught you a little off-guard and you stumbled, catching yourself on the opposing wall, but quickly realized the reason for his urgency when sounds of retching followed.

     The bathroom door was cracked open and you could see him hunched over the toilet, breathing heavily as his body wracked with each attempt to expel the contents of his stomach. You hesitated a moment, then pushed the door in slowly, coming to kneel beside him and gingerly place a hand on his back.

     He raised his head, eyes fluttering when you touched him. You gently pulled your palm up and down his spine, feeling the warm surge of the bond even through his shirt. He reached for a piece of toilet paper to wipe his mouth.

     "You don't have to do that..." he murmured, resting his forehead on his arm propped on the porcelain rim.

     "I know," you answered quietly, continuing to slowly rub his back. "Can I put my hand under your shirt?"

     "You're not supposed to be touching me until we know what's going on with you." 

     You slipped your other hand out to curl your fingers around his exposed bicep below the sleeve of his tee. He sighed, shoulders sagging as the comfort and warmth of the contact soothed his aching body.

     "Can I?" you softly persisted, and he nodded his head where it laid against his forearm.

     Slipping your hand beneath the baggy cotton you ran your fingers over his soft, taut skin, heart squeezing at the definition of his spine and the ghosts of his ribs. 

     "Did you do chemo without me?" you asked.

     “I've been doing it before you got here, you know,” he retorted weakly.

     "How are you supposed to gain weight if it makes you this sick? Please don't do it again without me."

     "You passed out, Y/n," he shifted his head to look at you.

     "We'll figure that out," you smiled, "But you need to be as agreeable to these treatments as possible, right?" 

     He nodded.

     "Hyung-seo paid me a visit this morning," you remarked after a moment of silence.

     "She told me."

     "Said she leaves for her tour tomorrow. When does she get back?"

     "February."

     "Of next year?" You paused to temper your shock, "That's a long time."

     "It's a world tour. That's how it goes."

     "Wow."

     You realized for the hundredth time in as many hours that there was so much about their lifestyle to which you were ignorant. You had so much to learn, but one thing you did know: he needed you right now, so you stayed by his side until the sickness had subsided.

     Nurse Cha arrived shortly after to conduct routine checks on Namjoon, and you sat by, thumbing through the latest issue of Batman and Robin which Matt had been kind enough to drop off with your things.

     "Your initial blood work came back with some concerns," she said, turning to you and picking up her tablet to access the results. "There are signs that your body's nutrients are being depleted. Since your fainting spells have been occuring during skinship, we ask that you refrain from touching until your CMP comes back."

     Namjoon glanced over at you, a chiding expression on his features. You flatly ignored him.

     "I need to be able to touch him, especially if he feels ill. He needs to keep down his food, right?"

     Nurse Cha hummed, pursing her lips.

     "Well, I'm going to run this by Dr. Na, but if absolutely necessary, keep it light and brief. And please be sure to document even the smallest instances of skinship so that we can track the effects."

     You agreed readily, and she left to continue her rounds. 

Glancing out the window, you noted that the evening was mild, and the gardens were aflutter with birds and awash in soft late-afternoon light. You thought about what the nurse had said before about the fresh air.

     "Hey," you remarked, still looking out the window, "We should take a walk - it looks so nice out. You up for it?" 

     "Great idea," he replied, joining you to look out across the greenery. "I'm definitely feeling up for it." He huffed out a little chuckle.

     "What?" you asked suspiciously. You were beginning to recognize his different laughs - this particular chuckle was always at your expense.

     "Gonna keep pushing it with the poor nurse, huh?"

     You scoffed.

     "Well, if I hadn't would you be feeling well enough to go out right now?"

     "No."

     When you glanced up you found that he was gazing raptly at you, his face filled with unchecked thanksgiving. Your witty response faltered on your tongue. 

     His touch, you were pretty damn sure that for the rest of his natural life you would never grow used to it...but his eyes? It was almost the same. Was this part of the bond? Or was it just...him? Did everyone feel this way when he held them in those eyes? When he looked at them, really looked...

You couldn't tear your eyes away. You couldn't find words.

     When Namjoon's phone suddenly buzzed you thanked almighty Samsung and sagged against the window pane. 

     "Damn," he muttered. 

     You looked at him questioningly.

     "I have a consultation with my radiation oncologist in ten minutes. Go ahead! I'll meet you down there right after."

     He pulled a sweatshirt over his head and changed his slippers out for his shoes.

     You returned to your room to grab outerwear as well. The evening was temperate enough to go without, but you were feeling chillier than usual. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

     Mom flashed across the screen.

     Your chest tightened and you silenced the ringer. You'd call her tomorrow, you told yourself. Besides, she had already spoken to Matt. 

     When you reached the garden, you decided there was someone you should call while you waited. Ambling down a gravel path, you held the phone up to your ear, stuffing your other hand into the pocket of your jean jacket.

     "Matt told mom that you passed out - are you okay?" Diana's voice on the other end registered genuine distress.

     You rolled your eyes and sighed. 

     "I'm fine. My body is just adjusting to the bond and probably jet lag and whatnot."

     "You better fucking be fine or I'm coming out there to make sure you are."

     You laughed. 

     "To South Korea? On a Wednesday?"

     "You know what I mean, god! You're so - hey! How did the fiancee thing go?"

     "I knew you'd want an update."

     "Spill."

     You sighed.

     "Uh-oh," she hummed, "That was your, things-are-an-effing-disaster sigh."

     "It was no- why do you keep trying to divine my air flow like they're casting-runes or something? Will you just let me tell you?"

     "You don't always say."

     You huff in exasperation.

     "Okay, well, I won't tell you what that sigh is," she mumbles in trepidation, "But I will tell you that I know enough to shut up and let you continue. Go on."

     "It didn't go swimmingly."

     "Fuck."

     "Yeah,” You lifted your fingers to absently stroke at the petal of a rose. “She seemed very frightened by the whole situation, which is completely understandable. But then...she also kind of came at me. She started asking pretty intimate stuff about the bond right off the bat. When I tried to redirect by suggesting we get to know each other better she started saying all this stuff she already knew about me. About Dad and Mom."

     "What?!" Diana gasped incredulously.

     "It was almost as if...I don't know, I could have been reading her incorrectly, but it was almost seemed as if she was trying to bring things up that might knock me off my footing. Make me...insecure." 

     You suddenly remembered your conversation with Namjoon the previous night. He hadn’t let on that he had already known your father passed when you were a child...but he had known. Passing out during skinship had gotten in the way of the conversation you had intended to broach with him about knowledge of the other. You had done research before meeting him, but only the basics. You had felt that as much should come from him as possible. Clearly you hadn’t been given that opportunity.

     "That bitch," Diana seethed, pulling your mind back into the moment.

     "Hey, hey, hey," you cautioned her, "She's in a extremely difficult situation. And that was just my biased impression of her intentions. Don't be too quick to judge her, Di."

     Diana hummed discontentedly.

     "Also, she came to apologize to me today before she leaves on tour. We made progress, I think."

     "Apologizing? Bare minimum," Diana said with an air of dismissal. "What did you say her name was?"

     "Kim Hyung-seo. Her stage name is Bibi."

     Diana was silent for a moment. 

     "Found her," she declared. 

     You smiled to yourself - of course she had found her, the woman was famous. It wasn't as if stalking measures were necessary (though you had no doubt of Diana's abilities should that have been the case).

Diana clicked her tongue in disappointment.

     "She's hot."

     "She is very pretty," you agreed.

     "Yeah, but you're hot too. And, y'kow, you're you. Bet you're smarter..."

     "Di," you said, stopping to pinch your brow, "We're not in some kind of competition. We're both just human beings navigating pretty uncharted waters, okay? We both have our strengths and weaknesses. She's going to be part of my life as Namjoon's wife, so not only is building a good relationship with her important to me, I have a responsibility to her as well. We all do. To each other."

     Your sister paused on the other end before relenting sullenly.

     "Yeah, yeah. I guess you're right - you do need to make nice with her...as long as they're married, that is..."

     "DIANA."

     "Okay! Geez!" Diana cleared her throat. "How is the soulmate doing?"

     "He's getting stronger every day," you answered, happily moving the topic away from Hyung-seo.

     "That's great!" she crooned. 

     "It is."

     "Are you smiling? You sound like you're smiling."

     "How are you doing, Di? Classes are starting soon."

     You smirked as your sister's attention surged in a new direction, and for the next half an hour she regaled you with tales of her new housemates, and the smarmy and unseemly Johnnie (who had come crawling back, as predicted, upon returning to the States). 

     Upon hanging up with Diana, you checked the time, and discovered that it had been nearly an hour since you left Namjoon. You were starting to feel weak, and a bit cold - hunger, you told yourself - so you decided to return indoors for dinner.

     You called Namjoon on the way up to the fifth floor to inform him if your change in plans. He apologized profusely, saying that the doctor had been detained, and asked you to join him for dinner.

Letting yourself into his suite, you shrugged your jacket off as you headed for your usual spot on the couch when, suddenly, you froze.

    A man was rising to stand from where he had been seated on the sofa. He was clad in a dark blue button-down with a golden emblem on the shoulder and black slacks. He wore a black cap which bore a similar insignia to the one on his shirt and fit snugly over his short dark hair. He wasn’t as tall as Namjoon, though his shoulders were nearly as wide. His features were soft but arresting, and his deep brown irises, you thought, seemed to hold a bit of everything a pair of eyes could. Your comic book was in his hand.

You crossed the room toward him.

     "Hi, I’m sorry, Namjoon will be here soon - oh, I'm his soulmate, Y/n," you stammered, before catching yourself.

     The young man's sharp eyes widened, his lips parting as you bowed.

     "Je ireum-eun Y/n imnida," you started over in Korean.

     He bowed in return, raising his dark brown eyes to you again as he responded in a soft deep voice.

     "Annyeonghaseyo, je ireum-eun Min Yoongi imnida."