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luke-patterson-owns-my-soul · 4 years

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Hey Jealousy – Part One.

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Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Summary: The reader and Charlie grew up together, were the best of friends. It didn’t work well for her having boyfriends until she goes to college. Is her best friend jealous, or is everyone imagining things?

Requested: Yes / No

TW: Swearing, implies sexual intercourse, swearing, drinking Author’s notes: I had a weird dream (non-sexual) about an ex of mine and trying to make Charlie jealous (as you do), and this idea came from that. Whether it makes any sense at all remains to be seen.

Acknowledgements: The gorgeous @dream-a-little-bigger-x listened to me waffle on about this and read through most of it for me. Thank you my love.

Pairing: Fem Reader x Charlie Gillespie (eventually)

Words: 10,076

I have no idea when I’ll be posting Part Two as I am yet to write it... but I was way too impatient to sit on this.

Growing up being the best friend of Charles Gillespie was equal parts the best and worst thing. The best because he was genuinely the nicest guy, ever. He was outgoing, inclusive of everyone, and so much fun to be around. Charlie never sat still, didn’t do well with being bored, so it meant we made a lot of memories together along with our other friends.

The worst because for some reason, being best friends with a guy was off putting to other guys. Hanging out with Charlie ninety percent of the time seemed to prevent them approaching me. Even when I made it obvious I liked them, they seemed too scared to speak to you beyond a ‘hi’ or a ‘how you doin’?’. Charlie never seemed to notice how frustrated I was.

When Charlie moved to Toronto to follow his dreams of becoming an actor, it felt as if I’d lost a limb. I’d known him my entire life, had been friends for the whole time, had gone through all our firsts together, and with him not around, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Admittedly, I was starting college just over the border in the US so there was that to keep me busy, but it wasn’t the same. Moving away from home, not having him with me, laughing at the other freshmen to help relieve my nerves. But I was alone and had no idea what I was doing.

Once I’d found my dorm room, I sat on the bed, surrounded by bags and boxes, and pulled my phone out of my bag. I needed my best friend right now, despite knowing he was probably out at auditions. I pull up my favorite contacts and tap on Charlie’s name, hoping he’ll be able to answer.

“Hey. I only have five minutes. How did the move go? Is your roommate cool? Any guys took your fancy? Have you had a chance to look around yet?” Eventually he stopped asking questions long enough to take a breath, letting me finally cut in to speak.

“Jesus Christ, Gillespie. I know you don’t have long, but do you really need to pepper me with so many questions? Don’t answer that otherwise I’ll never get to say anything.” I take a shaky breath and slowly start answering his questions. By the time I finish filling him on my day so far, he’s grinning at me.

“Sounds great, Trouble. I’m really pleased for you.” I rolled my eyes at his use of the nickname he gave me when we were seven and I punched a boy in the nose for tripping Charlie over and laughing at him cutting his chin on a small rock. “So, what do you have planned for the rest of the day?”

“I have some orientation thing, then I don’t know. Maybe just chill in my room, get to know my roommate when they finally get here.”

“Hey, listen. I gotta go. But I’ll call you when I get back to the apartment so you can tell me more. Especially if your roommate’s pretty.”

“You’re such a fucking horndog, Gillespie. Love you.”

“Love you too, Trouble.”

My ‘don’t call me that’ died on my lips as the call ended and the photo of Charlie and me camping at the Bay of Fundy a couple years back that had been my wallpaper since his sister took it filled the screen. My happiness of speaking to him faded as I realized I was alone, again.

:: ::

I had been at college for three months, and I was almost at the end of my first semester. Charlie was busy with filming a show he’d booked. I knew nothing about 2nd generation, but he was so excited, I couldn’t help but be so happy for him. We spoke most days and texted so much that all my friends thought we were dating. No matter how much I told them we were only friends, no one ever believed me.

The wall above my desk was covered in photos of the two of us and our other friends, and your roommate, Lena, was obsessed with him.

“Honey, if you ain’t tapping that, if he ever comes to visit, I’m stepping up.” She’d told me the first time she looked at a photo of Charlie. Every time the two of us facetimed, and she was in the room with me, she would butt in and flirt outrageously with him. I would laugh at him flirting back, enjoying the fact my two closest friends, one old and one new, got along.

I’d found it easier to settle into college life than I expected without having him with me. Maybe, if I was honest, him not being around was possibly the reason I was finding it easier. As much as I loved him and having him around, having something that was just for me meant something special.

I’d just finished a class and was walking across the quad when my phone rang in my bag, Charlie’s ringtone blared out. He’d picked En Vogue’s Whatta Man when we were about thirteen because ‘Trouble, it just describes me perfectly’. I’d just never got around to changing it, and now it always made me smile whenever I heard it.

“Hey, Trouble.” A groan and an eyeroll. “Whatcha doin’?”

“I just finished my classes for the day. I’m going for coffee with Lena. How’s things over there?”

“Yeah, we’re going strong.” There was a lot of indistinct background noise I couldn’t identify behind him, and it was hard to hear him. He hadn’t facetimed, which was strange, but it was probably a flyby call while he was waiting for a scene to be set up, or whatever actors did. I had no clue despite him telling me multiple times.

“That’s great.” As I walked beside Lena who was making kissy faces at me as Charlie and I spoke, I couldn’t help but smile at hearing his voice. It wasn’t the same as having him with me in person, but it was the best we’d have until Christmas break.

“Look, give me five and call me back. I just gotta speak to someone real quick.” Before I could answer, he cut the call.

“Well, that was the quickest call I’ve ever seen you two have.” Lena commented, a small smile on her face.

“He wants me to call him back in five.” It was typical Charlie, start something, then expect me to finish it.

“I swear, you speak to him more than your family.” She wasn’t wrong.

“He’s kind of like my security blanket. He talks me off the edge whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed and stuff. He’s never judged me for the way I overthink, and he’s so easy to be with.”

“I swear, if I didn’t know better, I would think you’re in love with him.”

“I do love him. He’s like the brother I never wanted and often get frustrated with, but I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”

“Uh huh…” She didn’t need to elaborate. She’d been saying the same thing since our first day. She was insistent that there was more to mine and Charlie’s relationship than there was. I was used to her by now and was able to ignore it now. “You better phone him back.” She reminded me as we neared the campus coffee shop. With a smile, I hit call on his contact.

Behind me, the sound of P!nk’s Trouble, my ringtone on Charlie’s phone rang out. Confusion washed over me as Lena started laughing. I spun round to see Charlie leaning up against a tree, a wide smile on his face.

I cut the call and ran over to him, throwing myself at him. As always, he caught me, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me in tight against his body.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked when he finally placed my feet back on the ground below me.

“I have the weekend off, so I drove down to see my best girl,” he looked at Lena with a smile, “and you, Trouble.” I punched him in the arm as he pulled my roommate into a hug.

“Remind me why I keep you around?” I asked him as the three of us entered the coffee shop.

“Because you adore this pretty face.” I rolled my eyes as we found a table after making our orders.

“You keep telling yourself that, Gillespie.”

:: ::

For the entire weekend, I showed Charlie around the campus and took him to parties. We got wasted, he enjoyed meeting my friends, but my favorite moment was on the Sunday when it was just the two of us, about a half hour outside of town, walking along a hidden trail.

“Trust you to find this place. I never even knew it was here.”

“You need to take more time for yourself, away from campus. Remember what it’s like to just be.”

“Do you get much of a chance to do that?” I asked as we walked, our arms brushing together the way they always did whenever we spent time together.

“Not as much as I like, but I try to get out at least once a week. It’s not the same though, not without you.” I looked up at him and saw a softness to his face not many people got to see.

“I’ve missed you, you big goof.”

“I’ve missed you too, Trouble.”

“You gotta stop calling me that.” I rolled my eyes, making him laugh and nudge at me with his shoulder.

“Never gonna happen, kiddo.”

“Kiddo? For fuck’s sake, Gillespie. You’re like two months older than me. You’re not exactly drawing your pension just yet.”

“It all counts.” He lifted his wrist and looked at his watch. “I better head back to my car and start heading back. I’ve got an early call in the morning.”

My heart sank at his words. I’d known the entire weekend he couldn’t stay forever and as we turned around to walk back the way we came, I felt a feeling of sadness wash over me.

“Hey, don’t do that.” He scolded me.

“Do what?”

“Fold in on yourself. We’ll both be home for Christmas.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve just enjoyed having your ugly face around.”

“Ugly? You wound me.”

“Whatever.”

Silence fell over us as we continued walking, and the closer we got to the parking lot, the sadder I became at having to say goodbye to him again. He took hold of my hand, interlinking our fingers the way we always did.

Finally, we reached his car and came to a standstill next to it.

“Thank you for coming to see me. I needed this weekend.”

“I’ll always be there when you need me.” I knew he meant it too. He always did.

“I know. It’s one of the main reasons I adore you.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed him tight. I wasn’t ready to let him go, but knew I had to. Knew I had to carry on with this new chapter of my life that didn’t revolve around our friendship, knew he needed to get back to work and forge his way in his chosen career.

“Love you, Trouble.” He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before pulling away from our hug and unlocking his car. “Gonna miss you.”

“Gonna miss you more. Let me know when you’re back, so I don’t worry.”

“I promise.”

Lena walked to stand beside me as I watched Charlie climb into his car and pull away. We stood and watched him drive away until I couldn’t see his car anymore.

“That boy is in love with you.” I ignored her as I turned to walk back to our dorm. “Just as much as you are with him.”

:: ::

Christmas break had been crazy. My large family and the Gillespie family always mixed for the holiday, and it was always loud, full of laughter, and more than a little raucous. It was my favorite time of the year.

This year was no different, but it was over all too soon, and I barely saw Charlie. He got back home on Christmas Eve, and had to leave again the day after Christmas Day thanks to reshoots and stuff I didn’t really understand. Most of my time had been spent with his sister, Megan, but there was a hole in my celebrations. A Charlie-sized hole.

He didn’t even make it back home for New Year, and I saw in midnight on the back porch of my parent’s house alone, a glass of champagne untouched next to me. I’d tried facetiming him, but my calls had gone unanswered.

Arriving back at college was a relief, and the holiday period had made me realize I’d become so co-dependent on my best friend, I was holding myself back from living my life.

“Hey bitch, how was Mr. Tallish, dark, and gorgeous?” Lena asked as we both unpacked from our vacations.

“Busy. I hardly saw or spoke to him.” I could hear the bitterness in my own voice and hated it, but I also kind of didn’t care.

“I’m sorry, babe. How about we head out to a ‘welcome back’ party, get dressed up, and break some hearts?”

After thinking about it for a split second, I grinned and agreed.

“Fuck it. Why not?”

Usually, campus parties were casual affairs; sweats and tank tops, but the flyers about this one was emblazoned with the words ‘dress to impress’, so Lena and I went all out.

Walking across campus in my favorite LBD and a pair of amazing stiletto pumps, I felt like I could conquer the world. I’d made an effort with my hair and makeup, and when Lena was ready, we’d taken a shit ton of selfies, posting them on Instagram. It was amazing what getting dressed up did for a girl’s self-esteem.

“Honey, when Charlie sees those photos on insta, he’s gonna be calling you like crazy.”

“Well, it’s a shame my phone is on silent in my purse, then. Tonight is for me and you to have a great time.”

“And maybe try and get over one guy with another?”

“Lena, I don’t need to get over Charlie. He’s my best friend, and I adore him. But that’s all it is.”

As we entered the party – in a frat house, naturally – I couldn’t help but be impressed with how dressed up everyone was. I followed Lena through the crowd into the kitchen where we managed to grab some drinks.

“Yeah, okay. You keep telling yourself that. I can only go by what my eyes show me, and there is more going on between you two than either of you want to admit.” I opened my mouth to say something, but she cut me off. “I’ll shut up now. Let’s go, Momma’s in the mood for dancin’.”

I didn’t see Lena for three days after the party. She’d met some guy and had spent the entire time in his bed. It had been nice to have the room to myself as I caught up with movies and TV shows on Netflix I had missed over the holiday period. By the time classes started back up, she was back and seriously study mode.

“John was asking after you again today.” She told me two weeks back into classes as we walked in the wintery sunshine to get some lunch.

“Oh.” I had no idea who John was, but I was going along with it.

“You don’t remember him, do you?”

“No clue, sorry.”

After gasping, she proceeded to fill me on John. Apparently, I’d danced with him a lot at the frat party. He was six feet tall, well built, but not huge, and had a hint of red hair. None of it was ringing any bells, but seeing as she was sleeping with his roommate, she saw him regularly.

“How can you not remember him? you were all over him.”

“Lena, I’d almost drank my weight in tequila, I would have been impressed if I’d remembered my own name, never mind someone else’s.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket. After tapping on the screen for a couple of minutes, she turned it so I could see.

The guy on screen was gorgeous. Piercing green eyes that reminded me of the forest near my house, and a wide, friendly smile.

“Judging by that reaction, you’d have no problems coming out with us tonight? Nothing heavy, just a few drinks and some food.”

“I wouldn’t be averse to food and drinks.” Laughing at my answer, she linked our arms and steered me into our favorite sandwich bar.

:: ::

The first meeting turned into a first date, then a second, a third, and before I’d even realized, John and I were dating, and it had been three months since that first meeting that I could remember. He was easy going and fun to be around, plus he loved being outside rather than cooped up in a room with another person. Especially when that person was his roommate who was often making out for hours with my roommate. We spent a lot of time on the hidden trail I’d discovered with Charlie, often taking a blanket so we could have a picnic under the lush canopy of trees.

John was a photography major, and never went anywhere without his camera – unless there was going to be alcohol – and my photo wall in my room was soon full of photos of the two of us, of me and Lena, and random things he saw that made him think of me. I had never been tagged in so many photos of me sober on Instagram in my life, and I loved every minute of our time together, but while I was happy, and living my best life there was still something missing. A 5,8” dark haired something.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spoken to Charlie for longer than five minutes, and never mind an actual facetime call. He’d finished up with 2nd Generation and had gone back home for a few weeks. I’d seen photos of him and his family, mostly his cousin Madi, doing the things I would usually be doing with them. Spring break was coming up, and while most of my friends were planning crazy trips down to Florida or Mexico, all I wanted to do was to go home.

“Hey, what are you doing for Spring Break?” I asked John as we lay tangled together in my bed, a sheen of sweat on both of our skin.

“I haven’t made any plans yet, why?”

“Fancy coming to Canada?”

:: ::

Pulling up in the drive outside my parent’s house, I look over at John in the passenger seat. He looked nervous as hell which made me chuckle. I unclipped my belt and leaned over to give him a quick kiss.

“Stop panicking. It’s going to be fine.” I told him. My parents were looking forward to meeting him. “I should be the nervous one. I’ve never brought a guy home before.”

“What? Never? Not even in high school?” I shook my head. “What about your prom date?”

“Me and Charlie went to prom together. We did everything together, and it stopped guys asking me out and stuff. So yeah…” I drifted off, realizing that this was my first relationship, my first boyfriend.

“That’s cool. Come one, let’s get this over with so we can both calm down.” He gave me another kiss before getting out of the car, retrieving our bags from the trunk. By the time I’d got out, he was standing beside me, holding out his hand. I took hold of it and led him to the house.

“Mom, dad? Anyone?” The house was silent when I let us in, John dropping our bags on the floor in the entry. “Hello? Favorite daughter is home for a week.”

“Only daughter you mean.” My younger brother, Tyler came bounding down the stairs, skidding to a stop when he saw John standing next to me.

“Okay, I wasn’t expecting that.” I glared at him. “I mean, I’ve seen photos and shit, but I didn’t expect you to be so big. Nice to meet you, man.” Tyler held out his hand for John to shake, which he did, chuckling at my brother’s lack of brain to mouth filter.

“Ty, where is everyone?”

“Out in the yard. Dad’s cleaning off the barbecue and mom’s making sure he does it right.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Not that I expected it to, but nothing had changed. Tyler took off through the house out into the back yard where my family were waiting.

“Ready for a trial by fire?” I asked John, looking up at him, smiling.

“Best to get it over and done with.”

Turning my whole body so I was fully facing him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes to give him a kiss.

“They’re gonna love you, I promise.” I murmured against his plump lips. He took a deep breath, gave me another quick kiss, and untangle me from him.

“Let’s do this.”

Once again, with our hands linked, I led the way, this time through the house I’d grown up in and out into the large back yard. Which was full of people, not just my family. Of course, the Gillespies were here too.

As John and I came to a stop on the ack porch, I cast my eyes across the space before me, looking for Charlie. It was a mixture of habit and wanting to see him, but I couldn’t find him.

“He’s not here.” Megan had jogged over and pulled me into a hug so she could whisper into my ear. Her words caused a wave of sadness to wash over me. “And we finally get to meet this guy who is all over your insta?” She grinned at John; her smile achingly similar to that of her brother.

“John, this is Megan, the little sister I never wanted, but got stuck with anyway.” As the two of the chatted, the three of us moved down into the garden so I could introduce my boyfriend to everyone.

:: ::

John had been stolen away by my dad, Tyler, and Charlie’s dad, leaving me to spend time with my mom. We sat on her favorite garden seat, watching everyone in silence for a few minutes before she turned to me.

“He’s nice. I can see why you like him so much.” I looked at her, waiting. Eventually, I realized she wasn’t going to say it.

“But? I know there’s a but in there somewhere.”

“No, no but.” She was lying, I could tell by the way her voice was at least an octave higher than usual.

“Mom. You can be honest with me, I’m not gonna bite your head off.”

“I just worry you’re rushing things. At college everything so… intense, and you’re constantly aware of it ending, that you’ll be leaving that part of your life behind you one day. What then?”

“I-we-I…” I didn’t have a coherent answer for her. She wasn’t wrong, but she’d also always told me that college was supposed to be the best time of my life, so why wouldn’t I spend it with someone I not only enjoyed being with, but who I was attracted too at the same time?

“Honey, I’m not trying to make you question things, I just want you to remember who you are and what you want in life.”

“Well, I want to be with John for now. Isn’t that enough?”

“If it is for you, it is for me.” She pulled me in for a hug. I loved my mom, but she’d confused me with our conversation. “You do realize your dad’s going to pitch a fit when he realizes you’re sharing a room.”

I stared at her. I’d assumed my parents would make him sleep in the spare room.

“Wait, what?”

“Sweetheart, neither of us are stupid. We know how things are at college, and as long as you’re being safe, I can’t tell you what to do anymore.”

Before I could say anything, Megan came over to pull me away. Arm in arm, we walked to the end of the garden, away from the house. Well, she led me, I merely went along with it.

“What’s up?” I asked her. Usually, she was a lot like her brother, constantly moving and talking, but now she was quiet and subdued. “Meg, seriously. You’re making me worried.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to get you on your own so we can talk about that gorgeous hunk you brought home.” Relief flooded through me and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Jesus Christ, you scared me.” We sat down on an old swing my dad had made when I was a kid and talked. She peppered me with questions about college, the guys, the parties, and most of all, about John. She was a senior in high school and couldn’t wait for her own college experience. She’d chosen to stay in Canada to study.

I answered all of her questions, but we were soon interrupted by our being called to finally get some food. I was starving and practically sprinted over to where my dad was piling food on a table laden with salad, fried, and all kinds of family favorites. As I loaded up my plate, John hovered next to me, doing the same.

“Oh, look what the cat dragged in.” Megan’s voice was loud, making me turn my head. Charlie was walking toward us, wearing his hiking gear grinning at us all. I put my plate down and ran at him, our usual greeting.

“Trust you to show when the food’s ready.” I grinned at him as we broke apart and went back to the table to retrieve my plate, pulling it out of Charlie’s reach as he tried to steal a rib. “Get your own, there’s plenty.”

“But we always share, Trouble.” I rolled my eyes.

“Not today, Gillespie. This is all mine, and I may even have seconds.” I stuck my tongue out at him. A throat clearing behind me reminded me John was still with me. “Oh hey, you can finally meet John.”

“Yeah, great to finally meet you, man.” Charlie shook my boyfriend’s hand, his smile still on his face, but I noticed it didn’t completely reach his eyes.

“You too.”

“Well, I’m hungry, catch up later?” As Charlie nodded, I led John away so others could help themselves, over to a table with my parents. Why had that been more awkward than I’d expected? As I sat down, I caught Megan watching me, a strange look on her face.

:: ::

As the sun began to set, and things began to wind down, I decided to take John for a walk around the neighborhood I grew up in. We left the house, hand in hand, and walked along the street, passing Charlie’s house. I averted my eyes from the building, not wanting to make John think my attention wasn’t all on him.

“It’s nice here, very calm.” He commented as we reached the end of the street. “I grew up in the city, and it never got this quiet.” When I looked up at him, he was smiling softly.

“Come on, there’s a great playground just up the road.” I led the way, tugging on his hand as a laugh escaped me.

As we sat on the swings, both of us swaying back and forth as the sun set around us, bathing the sky with a vibrant orange. It was my favorite part of the day, one that made me think back over what had happened and made me realize that a new day was coming, a new chance to experience life. Charlie and I had spent so much time as kids on these very swings at this time, reflecting on choices we’d made throughout the day.

At the thought of my best friend, a slight movement caught my eye. When I looked at the path leading to the gate of the play park, I could see a figure retreating. Despite not being able to see the person’s face, I knew it was him. His shoulders were hunched, and his hands were shoved into the pockets of his shorts. The sound of John’s camera taking photos distracted me and I looked away for a minute. When I looked back, my best friend was nowhere to be seen.

“Stop taking photos of me.” I groaned, knowing he wouldn’t.

“How can I? you’re the most beautiful thing around.” Standing, John walked over to me and took hold of the chains with side of me to still the movement of the swing. He stood between my legs and bent his head and captured my lips in a kiss that started off slow and soft, but soon turned heated.

Letting go of the chains, John managed to lift me off the swing, holding me against him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and my arms around his neck. Slowly, he began to walk across the playground, only stopping when he reached the large wooden playhouse I’d played in as a kid.

Putting me on my feet and letting go, he removed the camera from around his neck and placed it in a safe place before climbing into the playhouse, removing his shirt and placing it on the wooden boards. When he looked over at me, his green eyes which were usually the color of spring grass were now the color of a lush, dark forest.

“What? Here? Are you trying to soil my childhood memories?”

“Totally, now come here before I have to take matters into my own hands.” He palmed the bulge in his shorts, locking eyes with me. With a laugh that was huskier than I’d ever sounded, I climbed in after him and straddled his thighs.

:: ::

Waking up at the crack of dawn, wrapped in John’s strong arms, in my childhood bedroom should have felt weird. But it didn’t. I was warm and content, but as we had a busy day planned, I couldn’t stay in our little cocoon. We had a camping trip to get ready for.

I crawled out of his arms and dived into the bathroom for a quick shower. By the time I emerged wrapped in a towel, John was sat up in my bed, scrolling on his phone.

“Come on you, we’re going camping. Up and at ‘em.” I was excited. It had been far too long since I’d been down to Fundy and I couldn’t wait to get on the road.

“Babe, it’s not even 6a.m.” He groaned.

“Yeah, and? Come on. Need to fuel up with a good breakfast.” I pulled on some clothes and left the room, skipping down the stairs. ‘My dad had always been an early riser, so it was no surprise to find him in the kitchen holding a steaming cup of coffee as he read a book at the breakfast bar.

“Morning daddy.” I kissed his cheek as I passed him to get to the coffee pot.

“Morning, sweetheart. Sleep well?” I could hear the unasked question behind his actual question.

“Yes, like a log. Stop worrying about me, I’m not a little girl anymore.”

“Don’t I know it. Please, just tell-”

“Dad. Nothing happened last night. And even if it had, I would be careful. I’m not an idiot.”

“Could have fooled me.” Tyler interrupted us, grinning when I gave him the finger.

“Stop picking on your sister. And you,” he looked at me, “put that finger down.”

I laughed as I sipped at my coffee before telling them I was going out to grab the camping gear.

“I’ll go and make sure Charlie and Megan are up and ready.” Tyle put his own cup down and left the kitchen. I froze on the spot I stood in

Shit. I didn’t realize he’d invited them.

“Everything okay?” Dad asked.

“Yeah, just trying to work out what we need.” I lied before flashing him a quick smile. I could hear John coming downstairs. “Please, no interrogation.” I hissed at my dad. He drew a cross over his heart as my boyfriend entered the kitchen, his hair damp from the shower.

“Morning, sir.” He greeted my dad.

“Please, John. Sir was my father. Call me Frank like everyone else.”

After giving John a quick kiss, I went out to the shed to gather up everything we’d need for a couple of days down in Fundy.

An hour later, Tyler and I had expertly packed up the trunk of my car and were just about to climb in when Charlie and Megan pulled up in Charlie’s car.

“Ready to rock and roll?” He called out of his window, a wide grin on his face.

“You know it. Last one there buys lunch.” I called out our usual challenge as I jumped into the driver’s seat, Tyler urging John in as Charlie pulled away with a screech. Within minutes, the doors were closed, the engine started, and we were on our way.

“Is she always this competitive?” John turned to face my brother in the back seat as I turned the radio on, looking for something to sing along to.

“Only with Charlie, so yes. Constantly. They can make a contest out of everything.” I rolled my eyes.

“No I don’t.”

“Sis, I love you, but you do. You and Charlie are a fucking nightmare at times.”

“You’re talking bullshit.” I tried to change the subject, but Tyler was on a roll.

“Remember that time you two tried to eat more popping candy than the other and you ended up barfing all over yourself?”

“Really? You bring that up? I was fifteen, Ty. And I’d drank about a gallon of soda. It was the gas.”

“Whatever. What about the time when you-” I cut him off.

“That’s enough. Babe, did you go camping much growing up?” I looked at John who had gone quiet. He was looking out of the window, and it took me tapping him on the knee to get his attention.

“Nah, not really. I’m a city boy, so we didn’t really do the whole ‘great outdoors’ thing.”

“Not even on vacation?” Tyler asked.

“Nah, we did Disney and Universal, stuff like that.”

“Well, you’re in for a treat. This is our favorite place on Earth and your camera’s gonna get a good workout.” I smiled at him as I intertwined our fingers as I drove.

:: ::

Thanks to my brother have the bladder the size of a pea and three cans of soda, we arrived at our usual camping ground over half an hour after Charlie and Megan. They’d already set up their tent and were waiting for us as if they didn’t have a care in the world, music drifting softly from the stereo in his car.

“Tyler potty breaks, again?” Charlie asked, laughing.

“He travels back with you.” I grumbled as I opened the trunk and began to drag our gear out. Instantly, Charlie was on his feet, unfolding the tents to put them up with Tyler’s help.

“What do you need me to do?” John asked me.

“Take those coolers of food and drinks over to Megan. She’s always in charge of that stuff, makes sure we don’t live off candy and chips.”

I couldn’t help but watch the muscles in his back as he lifted the two coolers out of the trunk. He wasn’t overly muscly, but his form was impressive. I stood back and admired him for a minute.

“Hey, Trouble. Give me a hand with this. Your brother’s still useless.” Charlie called out.

By the time the tents were all up, one for Tyler, and one for me and John, we were all starving.

“Hey, losers. You owe us lunch.” Charlie called out, giving his sister a high five.

“Let me just get changed, and we’ll go.” In the middle of the camping ground was a café that served some of the best food. I ducked into the tent and changed my shirt and jeans for a bikini top and denim shorts. As I emerged from the small space, I pulled one of Charlie’s old cut off shirts over my head. “Right, let’s go and introduce John to poutine.

“What?”

“Oh, man. It’s the best.” Tyler slapped him on the back as he led the way. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie watch as John took hold of my hand.

:: ::

The sun was setting and the five of us were sitting around a campfire. Charlie had his guitar and he and Megan were singing some of their favorite songs. As always, I was blown away by their talent and how well their voices blended together. I’d always been a bit jealous of how musical the Gillespie family was. All of them sang, played instruments, and dance – well Charlie didn’t that well, but he always gave his all when his sister dragged him into it.

John sat next to me, his camera lifted up to his face as he took photo after photo, something he’d been doing all day. He’d told me he’d been blown away by the beauty of the place and that gave me a warm feeling, being able to share one of my favorite places with him.

“Hey, Trouble. Your turn.” Charlie handed me the guitar.

“Not tonight, Gillespie.” I was exhausted and it had been far too long since I’d played or sang. I knew I was never going to sound as good as him and Megan; I rarely did.

“Nope, you’re not getting out of it. Come on, you know you wanna.” He was egging me on, and knew I’d give in eventually.

“Come on, it’s tradition.” Megan joined in with the cajoling as Tyler called out his two cents worth. With a sigh, I took the guitar from Charlie and propped it on my knee.

“Any requests?” I asked.

“Under the Bridge.” The Red Hot Chili Peppers song was one of my favorites and I loved singing it.

“I didn’t know you played.” John sounded surprised.

“Yeah, Charlie taught me a few years ago. It’s been a while though and I’m rusty as hell because I never got my own guitar.” I ran my fingers down the strings before making myself a bit more comfortable. “Hey, you got a spare pick?” I asked Charlie. He reached into the pocket on the front of his soft guitar case before leaning over to hand me the small piece of plastic. I couldn’t help but laugh at the poop emoji design on it. I’d ordered him a bunch of them as part of his birthday present the previous year.

I ran through the song in my mind reminding me of the lyrics and chords before I began to play.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner

Sometimes I feel like my only friend

Is the city I live in, the city of angels

Lonely as I am, together we cry

I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion

I walk through her hills 'cause she knows who I am

She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy

Well, I never worry, now that is a lie

As I expected, Charlie joined in on the bridge, harmonizing with me. We’d always sang this song together. It had become a bit of a tradition at gatherings with our families and friends. As always when we sang together, Charlie and I locked eyes, a small smile on his face made me smile back as we sang. There was a connection between us when we sang, one that had been there from the day we became friends.

I don't ever wanna feel

Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love

Take me all the way

I don't ever wanna feel

Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love

Take me all the way

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Finally, the song came to an end and silence filled the air around us. Without saying anything, I handed the guitar and pick back to Charlie without looking at him. I leaned over, picked up my bottle of beer, and drained the last of it. For some reason, a weird feeling had come over me while we’d sung, and I didn’t know how to read it. In the end, I decided to ignore it and escape into my tent.

“I’m tired guys. I’m gonna turn in.” As I faked a yawn, I didn’t bother waiting for a response as I stood up, dropped the bottle in a trash bag, gave John a quick kiss, and crawled into my tent. As I stripped out of my hoodie and sweats and crawled into my sleep bag, Megan stuck her head through the flap.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just tired. It’s been a long day.” It hadn’t really, and she knew it hadn’t. We hadn’t done anything different to what we would normally in Fundy.

“Okay…”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Sure. Night.” With a small smile she disappeared from the opening of the tent, leaving me to settle down and try to get to sleep.

I was still wide awake when John crawled into the tent an hour or so later. He tried not to make too much noise as he stripped down to his boxers before getting into his own sleeping bag. The lamp hanging from the tent roof was turned on low, just about lighting up the space around us.

“Hey.” I kept my voice low, knowing from experience how the sound travelled at night.

“Hey.” He repeated as I turned to face him, propping myself up on one elbow.

“Have you had a good day?”

“It’s been great. I can see why you guys love it out here.

“Yeah, it’s great. We’re lucky having all this pretty much on our doorstep. I couldn’t imagine not being able to get out here. I bet you got some great shots.”

“I did. I can’t wait to get back and start editing them. Some should work well for school too.”

“Hey,” I dropped my voice even lower. “Wanna join the bags together and… snuggle?” I waggled my eyebrows at him in the dim lighting, making him smile softly.

“Not tonight. I’m so tired after all the hiking and swimming you guys made me do today.” He turned his head to look at me. “That okay?”

“Of course.” I leaned over and kissed him before getting comfortable again against his solid form. This time, I did fall asleep.

:: ::

When I woke up, the light was bright around me, despite being inside the tent. I was also alone. Sitting up, I wiped the sleep from my eyes and crawled out of the tent. John was sitting on his own, a cup of coffee cradled between his hands.

“Morning.” I press a kiss to his cheek as I sit down.

“Aren’t you cold?” he asks, looking at my bare legs. I’m still only in t-shirt I slept in.

“Not at all. It’s not that cold.” I chuckle as I pour myself a coffee. There’s a slight hint of steam in front of my face as I speak.

“It’s freezing, babe.”

“I’m Canadian, remember. This is a gorgeous spring morning.” I lean over and give him another kiss, this time it’s more than a simple and perfunctory peck. John’s hand cups the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair. When we pull apart, I notice he’s breathing a little heavier than he was before and it makes me grin.

“You’re crazy.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” Tyler’s voice surprises the both of us. When I turn, he’s standing over us, smirking at me.

“Uh… why am I suddenly nervous?” John asks my brother. They seem to have gotten on really well which pleases me. Tyler tipped me out of my seat before making himself comfortable in my place. Glaring at him, I moved around and sat on John’s lap.

“How are you with heights?” Tyler asks.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“How do you feel about deep water?”

I knew where this was going, so I decided to go and grab a shower in the shower block. As I ducked into the tent, I heard John exclaim.

“She does what?”

“Yeah, she and Charlie cliff dive.” I turned to look at John and laughed at the look of horror on his face. “It started out as a dare, of course, and now they do it every time we’re here.”

Leaving the two of them talking, I grab my washbag and take a walk over to the block of showers. Thankfully, there isn’t much of a queue and I’m able to snag one pretty quickly. The water’s not exactly hot, which means I don’t dawdle as I wash. Eventually, I emerge fully dressed, a towel wrapped around my hair and almost bump into Charlie.

“Woah, hey. You’re up late.” He commented, steadying me so I wouldn’t fall over.

“Not really.” It was barely 8 a.m., which to Charlie was practically a lie in. “I was up before you.”

“Nope. I was up at sunrise and went for a walk.” I rolled my eyes.

“Of course you were.”

“Are you heading back?”

“Yeah, I want to get ready for the cliffs.” I grinned at him. He fell into step beside me, and we walked back to the tents together.

“Remember that time you pushed me before I was ready, and I belly flopped so hard?”

“Oh my God, you screamed like a little girl who got a pony for her birthday. It was hilarious.”

“It also hurt like a fucking bitch.”

Charlie and I approached our tents, laughing to find John, Tyler, and Megan watching us as if we’d lost our minds.

“Who’s ready for the cliffs?” I asked, wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes. The memory of Charlie screaming lived in my head, rent free, and I couldn’t not laugh about it.

“Uh…” John looked nervous. After throwing my washbag into the tent, I bounced over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie turn his back and crawl into the tent he shared with his sister.

“No need to be nervous. You don’t have to dive if you don’t want to, just stay near the top, take photos, and enjoy the view. It’s all Megan and Ty do, because they’re both massive chickens.” As I spoke, I looked over at my brother who was flipping me off. “Don’t decide now. See how you feel nearer the time.”

Once we were at the cliffs, Megan spread out a blanket and sat down, a book in her hand. Tyler joined her, scrolling through his phone. John and I stood at the edge of the cliff, looking down into the ocean. We were nowhere near the top, as over the years we’d worked out this was the best place for jumping into the water without it taking an age to get back, but it was high enough to get my blood pumping.

“Yeah… I think I’ll sit this one out.” Moving back, John joined Tyler and Meghan, but remained standing, his camera at the ready. I moved back a little but stayed fairly close to the edge so I could get ready.

“Gillespie?” I called out my challenge as I stripped out of my shorts and tank tops, kicking my sandals off, revealing a mismatched bikini. Behind me, I heard a sharp intake of breath and turned to grin at John, but he had his back to me and was taking photos of the view.

A roar sounded and Charlie ran past me, launching himself off the edge of the cliffs. He ‘battle cry’ could be heard the entire way down until it was broken off by a splash.

With a grin on my face, I followed, dipping myself forward into a dive. I cut through the water, plunging deep before arcing up to break the surface.

“Show off.” Charlie called out as he tread the water.

“Of course. I need to make you look bad at something.” I swam over to him, taking hold of his hand and pulling him back to shore so we could start the climb back to where the others waited. There was a lot of pushing and shoving between the two of us as we made out way, and when we finally reached them, I was out of breath from laughing so much. Charlie’s arm was slung over my shoulder as he struggled to keep himself upright.

“Then you just whipped your top off and jumped.” He was howling with laughter. “That’s why we’ve never given you tequila since.”

I gave him a friendly shove.

“It wasn’t just the tequila, and you know it Gillespie. We hadn’t eaten all day, then you pulled out Jose and it was game over.” He grabbed me around the waits and walked toward the edge, as if he was going to throw me. Admittedly, if he did, it wouldn’t have been the first time. I screamed at him to put me down, hearing my brother and Megan laughing. Eventually, he did as I asked before diving off the edge again, this time executing an almost perfect dive. “Asshole.” I muttered as I grabbed a towel to wrap around my waist.

It wasn’t until I sat down next to him, that I realized John was very quiet and was scrolling through his phone.

:: ::

Arriving back at my house early evening, I was ready for a hot shower and my own bed. Tyler ducked into the house while John and I unloaded the trunk and stored the camping gear back where it belonged. He’d slept for most of the trip back, and I could tell something was bothering him.

After having dinner with my parents, John excused himself to try and get some sleep. It had been a pretty full on couple of days, but not enough to wipe him out. After a few minutes, I decided to go and check on him. I didn’t want him getting sick or something.

When I got to my room, I was surprised to find him packing his stuff into his bag.

“Hey, what’s going on?” He clearly hadn’t expected me to come upstairs and my voice made him jump even though I hadn’t spoken particularly loudly.

“I’m heading back to my dorm.” I moved into my room, closing the door behind me. When I reached up to touch his shoulder, he flinched away from me.

“Woah. Why?”

“Look, I can’t play second best. I really like you, but it’s very clear that your heart lies elsewhere.”

“John, babe. I have no idea what you’re talking about here.” I put my hand on his arm, trying to get him to turn and face me. Eventually he did, sinking onto the edge of my bed.

“Look, we’ve been having fun, right?” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. “Neither of us expected anything serious, and while I thought I might have been falling for you, the past few days have made me realize you could never feel the same way about me.”

“W-w-what?”

When John looked up at me, meeting my eyes with his gorgeous green ones, there was no sadness in them. There was only what I could describe as an acceptance of some sort. It confused the hell out of me.

“I know you tell everyone he’s your best friend, but it’s obvious to everyone who spends any kind of time with the two of you that you’re both head over heels for the other.”

I couldn’t help it, but I burst out laughing.

“Me and Charlie? No way. You’ve got it all wrong, believe me.”

“See, you say that, and I think on the surface that you believe it, but deep down… I’m a photographer. I literally look at details of the things around me all the time, and there’s no mistaking there’s something going on between the two of you. It’s just taking both of you some time to realize it; although, I think Charlie might be there already. He’s crazy jealous of me.” A snort escaped me before I could stop it. “I’m serious. Whenever we were together the past few days, he either turned his back, walked away, or interrupted us. You may see him as your best friend, but he’s in love with you. And I can’t compete with that.”

Standing back up, John finished packing his stuff, telling me he had a train booked in an hour. Knowing I wasn’t going to change his mind, I offered him a ride to the station, but he refused saying he’d book an uber.

Rather than watch him leave, I went out into the garden and sat on the swing. I’d never had a breakup, so I had nothing to compare it to, but I didn’t feel as sad as I expected to. In the movies, girls lay in their beds for days on end with messy hair and mascara running down their faces until their friends ran an intervention. Yeah, I was sad that John had broken up with me, but it felt like I was losing a friend more than a boyfriend. Even if the reasoning was ludicrous. There was no way on Earth Charlie Gillespie, the guy all the girls wanted, was in love with me. Sure, I knew he loved me – we were best friends, but that was it.

As the sun set around me, I finally made my way inside. I could hear the TV playing in the lounge, but didn’t feel like being pitied by my family, so I made my way up to my bedroom. When I was there, it felt empty without John’s big, solid frame. He’d only been here two days, but he’d made an impression on my space.

Not sure what to do with myself, I sat on my bed, hearing a crinkle. There was an envelope on my pillow.

I’m sorry it ended like this, but you need to know and understand that I don’t hate you – just in case you were wondering. Yeah, I’m upset, but I’m a big boy and I’ll get over it, and when I do, I hope we can still be friends. I honestly love spending time with you, and meeting your family was great.

I know you didn’t believe me when I told you about Charlie, but I hope these prove it to you.

See you soon, John.

Inside the envelopes were a couple of polaroid photos. I’d forgotten he’d brought his along with his big one. We’d all taken turns taking silly shots of one another, shaking them as they developed around the campfire we’d had.

The first was me holding Charlie’s guitar. I was clearly singing, looking at him, but there was something in the way I looked at my best friend. A softness to my face that could only be interpreted as affection – unsurprising, considering how much he meant to me, how much we meant to one another.

The second, was after our first jump at the cliffs. We were walking toward the camera, arms wrapped around one another, laughing. If it was anyone else, I would say it was quite an intimate photo, but it was me and Charlie. We were always like that, always touching, always laughing.

Putting the letter and photos on my desk, I lay back on my bed. I was confused as hell and didn’t know what to think or who to talk to.

As if summoned, my phone began to ring, Lena’s name flashing on the screen. When I answered, she didn’t bother with a greeting.

“So, when are you and pretty boy getting it on?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“John text me, told me what happened, said you might need someone to talk to. He finally saw what I saw.”

“And what did you see?”

“You and Charlie boy. All the feels.”

“Lena, there are no feels. We’re friends, best friends.”

“Honey, I know you’re a bit blind to the fact that that boy is crazy in love with you, probably has been for years, and you…”

“I what?”

“You look at him like he hung the moon. I don’t look at my best friend like that. I know it’s a lot to take in, but think about it, logically. Try to look at your relationship the way an outsider would, then tell me you’re not gonna end up ridiculously happy, living in some gorgeous apartment somewhere, surrounded by gorgeous babies.”

“And what if I come to the realization he’s just my friend?”

“Then I would say you’re blind as fuck. Look, I gotta go, my nanna’s lethal at dominoes, so I gotta make sure she doesn’t cheat. I’ll see you in a few days.” Lena ended the call. I was no clearer on the situation I had been before we’d spoken, but I least I had something to do.

Could everyone be right, and I was wrong? I loved Charlie, adored him, but I wasn’t in love with him. We were friends, the best, and that was all. Wasn’t it? I was pretty sure it was for me.

I needed air. I made my way back downstairs, grabbing my car keys from the side unit and went outside. It was late, but maybe a drive would help. As I unlocked my car, I heard my name being called. Turning, I saw Charlie jogging over to me.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“I just need to clear my head.”

“Where’s the big man.” Something flashed in his eyes as he asked about John. I tried not to read too much into it, but if I didn’t know better, it looked like jealousy. I gave myself a mental slap around the back of the head for projecting John and Lena’s words onto myself.

“He left. Went back to campus. We’re over.” Immediately, Charlie’s arms were wrapped around me and I was pulled in tight against his chest. My senses were overwhelmed by the feel of him, the sound of his heartbeat, and the scent of him. It was too much and I pulled away.

“Are you okay? I know you liked him.”

“Yeah, I’m good. It wasn’t that serious.”

“Serious enough to sleep with him.” An undertone of something I couldn’t work out laced his voice.

“Charles. I wasn’t a virgin when I met John. I may not have had any serious relationships, or relationships in any capacity, but I wasn’t innocent. Just the way you’re not, so don’t pull that bullshit with me.”

Boys at high school may have been wary of Charlie, but he wasn’t around at college when I discovered meaningless one night stands weren’t for me.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want to see you hurting.”

“I’m not. Maybe I should be more upset, but I can’t fake it.”

“You sound upset.” I looked up at him, stepping back slightly to move closer to my car. “I don’t like it when you’re upset, even when you don’t think you are, like that time when-”

“Look, I’m not here for a trip down memory lane. I want to go for a drive. Talk tomorrow?”

“Sure.” He turned to walk away an I pulled open the driver’s side door. Before I could sink into the seat, I was spun around. Charlie had hold of my wrist in one hand, but it was a gentle hold. He slammed the door and walked toward me. Nerves took over me and I back away from him, my back hitting the car behind me.

When he let go of my wrist, he placed his hands either side of me, resting against the cool metal of my car. Swallowing, I locked eyes with him, feeling very unsure of myself. I opened my mouth to ask him what was happening but didn’t manage the words before he crashed his lips against mine.

Tagging:

@dream-a-little-bigger-x @calamitykaty @crybabyddl @morganayennefertyrell @lovesanimals @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve @echocharm17618 @kinda-really-lost @n0wornever @all-in-fangirl @kcd15 @charliesmountains @amazinggracy @happinessinthedarkesttimes @xplrreylo @5sosmukefan

#Mich writes fic #charlie x reader #charlie gillespie fic

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phantom-curve · 3 years

Note

Second birthday is such a cool thing to call that! 8 or 35 if you are feeling so inclined.

Thank you! When I was a kid my mom always tried to call it my rebirth-day and I was like no❤️ I went with some Willex whump (with a fluffy end) for this one! Set in the gimme a chance AU, featuring pro-skateboarder Willie and anxious Alex. This is also a bit of a companion piece to the #8 prompt I wrote earlier!

#35: kissing their bruises and scars (Trigger Warning: mentions of injury, mild description of panic attack, and mentions of a car accident. Rated T for language)

Alex generally tried not to think about worst case scenarios when Willie was competing. If he let himself, it was way too easy to imagine all types of situations that ended with Willie broken and bleeding at the base of a halfpipe while Alex stood helplessly on the sidelines. It didn’t help anything for him to obsess over what could happen, especially because at this point, Alex knew skateboarding was as much a part of Willie as drumming was a part of him.

It was just that ever since Willie had gotten his first sponsorship and moved to the pro circuit six months ago, he had started taking bigger risks. More complex tricks and a lot less hesitation to go big when he was representing the brands that were paying his bills. And that meant longer hours practicing and a higher chance of injury on a daily basis. Alex wanted to be a supportive boyfriend, the kind that would show up at the skate park to cheer and not have a panic attack every time that Willie wiped out, but he wasn’t. He was just an anxious guy in love with a dude who seemed determined to break every single bone in his body.

Things only got worse when Willie started traveling for competitions. He was gone almost every weekend, and Luke had finally convinced the manager at the bar he worked at to let Sunset Curve preform regular Saturday shows, and so, more often than not, Willie would be somewhere else in California flinging his body down an insanely tall ramp with nothing but a helmet and some pads to protect him while Alex was trapped in LA losing himself in the familiar pattern of sticks against drums in an attempt to control his raging anxiety. It had about a 68% success rate. That success rate increased dramatically when Willie called Alex the second he knew his set was ending. It plummeted on the nights Alex didn’t hear from him until much later, or worse, heard from a different skater entirely.

Tonight was unfortunately one of those nights.

When their set ended, Reggie called out the same line he had coined after their first performance, a couple audience members chiming in with him because they actually had a bit of a fan following now, and Alex wasted no time in grabbing his phone from the fanny pack he kept behind his kit during shows. Instead of it lighting up with a picture of his boyfriend’s face, he was met with a series of missed calls and text messages from the guys Willie was rooming with for the weekend. He tried not to panic, tried to breathe in deeply to a count of five, holding it for just as long before exhaling again. It kept the anxiety at bay for as long as it took for him to unlock the phone and read the last missed message.

Don’t worry, bro. They’re gonna airlift him back to LA so you can just meet him at the hospital whenever.

Panic hit full force. What the actual fuck had happened to his boyfriend?! Alex’s fingers were shaking too much for him to open the other messages, his vision going blurry and a distant ringing sounding out in his ears. It took him longer than it should to realize Luke was crouched down in front of him, Reggie hovering just beyond the drum kit.

“You have to breathe, Lex. C’mon, follow me.”

Luke inhaled deeply before letting his breath out in a loud woosh. Alex tried to copy him, but his chest felt too tight, his throat closing in the more he tried to open it. Luke kept talking, his voice low and calm.

“Try again, we can do it together. We just have to breathe, nothing else.”

Alex inhaled with Luke that time, not quite as deeply and not quite as steady, but more air than he had managed to get before. It took several long moments before he was able to match Luke completely, the fog starting to clear from his brain, surroundings snapping back into focus.

“Great, good, just keep breathing, okay? I’m gonna go grab the office keys and we’ll take a minute in there to talk, okay?”

Alex nodded, not exactly wanting Luke to leave but knowing whatever his best friend was saying logically made sense. Reggie slipped into the space Luke had been occupying, breathing in the exact same pattern, and Alex refocused on him. When Reggie stood, Alex copied him, reaching out to grip the back of Reggie’s red flannel as he led them both off of the stage and down the hallway to the office in the back of the bar. Alex dropped onto the couch, burying his face in his hands.

“Lex? Can you tell us what’s going on?”

Reggie’s voice was soft and quiet, like a gentle melody. Alex let it wash over him, knew his boys would be able to help if he could just figure out how to get his mouth to form the words it desperately didn’t want to say out loud. He fought to speak for a few moments before finally just thrusting his phone forward. A hush fell over the room as Luke and Reggie scrolled through the texts and Alex was suddenly grateful that he wouldn’t have to read through them himself. After what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few minutes, Luke cleared his throat and spoke.

“Okay, so good news or bad news first?”

“How can there possibly be good news?”

Alex’s throat felt raw and scratchy, the words coming out broken and strangled. Luke and Reggie exchanged a quick glance before Reggie sat next to Alex on the couch. Not touching, but close enough for Alex to feel comforted all the same.

“Willie isn’t dead or dying, so yes, there is good news. Which one do you want first?”

A significant amount of the panic left Alex’s system at the reassurance that his boyfriend was alive and going to stay that way for the time being. It hit him all at once, sending him into Reggie’s side as he let out a cry of relief. Reggie’s hand stroked up and down Alex’s arm, a low hum sounding in the back of his throat. Luke spoke again.

“Okay, so good news is that Willie is probably already back in LA, he’s at the best hospital he can be at, and he’s going to be fine.”

Alex clung to the words like a life raft. Willie was going to be fine. He turned it into a mantra, repeating it over and over again until he felt like he was back in control, no longer on the precipice of drowning. He disentangled himself from Reggie’s arms, took a deep breath, and met Luke’s gaze.

“I’m ready. Gimme the bad news.”

Luke let out a long breath before sitting down on Alex’s other side.

“The guys were in a car accident. They didn’t even make it to the competition. Willie was in the passenger seat and he took the worst hit in the collision. The other guys got taken to a local hospital, but they had to send Willie to Cedars-Sinai because of some special orthopedic department there. Max said they mentioned he would be admitted to the post-trauma floor.”

A car accident. He didn’t even make it to the competition. Alex had considered himself prepared for the worst when it came to Willie and his chosen profession. He had told himself that loving Willie meant accepting the risk that came with skateboarding, especially at the level that Willie did it. He had not once considered the fact that Willie could be hurt in some type of freak accident that had nothing to do with skating. The life raft slipped from his mental fingers, hurtling him back into the sea of despair once again.

“We got this, okay?” Luke was still speaking. “Reg is gonna call an Uber and take you to the hospital, and I’m gonna get Dante and Felix to help pack up stuff here and then come meet you. It’s gonna be okay.”

Luke’s words painted a path for Alex to follow, a way to move forward without having to fight so hard to do so. He nodded, allowed himself to be bundled out of the employee entrance and into the car Reggie had called. Clung to Reggie’s flannel again as they traversed the white hallways of the hospital, eventually making their way to a nurse’s station situated on the post-trauma surgical floor. Alex didn’t even let himself think about what that string of words implied. Not until Reggie nudged him forward to speak with the blonde-haired woman with kind brown eyes sitting behind the welcome desk. He forced himself to clear the lump in his throat and scrape some words together.

“Hi, I’m uh, my name is Alex. Alex Mercer? I’m looking for my boyfriend Willie? William, actually, his name is William Stewart. He was...he was in a car crash.”

The words came out in starts and stops, cracking at the edges as Alex forced them through numb lips. The nurse nodded, her fingers tapping across the keyboard in a sharp staccato.

“He’s out of surgery, but might still be a bit groggy. The limit is one visitor at a time, so your friend will have to wait out here.”

Alex turned to Reggie with a blank stare.

“You got this, Lex. Remember, he’s gonna be fine. I’ll be right here, and Luke is on his way too. Whatever you need, okay? We got you.”

Alex nodded even though the movement itself felt like a lie. The nurse smiled softly at him and for one split moment Alex wished he could call his mom, hear her comforting voice the way he used to when he was a scared little kid. But he had Luke and Reggie now. And Willie, who was alive somewhere in this hospital.

“He’s in room 604, just down the hall.”

Alex forced his feet to move. Forced himself to count the numbers on the wall until he found 604. Forced himself to open the door and enter the room.

Willie looked so small on the bed, his dark hair a mess across the stark white pillowcase, his leg encased in plaster and suspended from some contraption that hung down from the ceiling. He turned his head at the noise of the door opening, eyes half open and soft with sleep or maybe painkillers. The smile on his face was a mere shadow of its normal sunshine.

“Hey, Hotdog.”

Alex wanted to cry. He wanted to scream and curl into a ball and absolutely lose it. But instead, he walked to the side of Willie’s bed and sat down in the chair next to it that seemed to have been waiting just for him.

“Have you been crying? Please tell me you weren’t crying.”

Okay, Willie was definitely on drugs. Because of course, Alex had been crying.

“Yes, I’ve been crying! Are you kidding me?”

Willie winced slightly and Alex was instantly swamped with guilt.

“No, okay, let me try that again.”

He took a deep breath and reached up to brush a few stray hairs away from Willie’s face. There were a number of cuts and bruises marring his skin, a few of them hidden under bandages.

“Hey pretty boy, I’m so glad you’re not dead. I’ve never been more scared than when I saw that text from Max. I thought you cracked your head open on a halfpipe or something, what the hell happened?”

Willie tried to shrug and grimaced, like it hurt. Alex’s hands fluttered uselessly above his boyfriend’s body, unsure where would be safe to touch. He settled for grabbing the hand that Willie offered which was thankfully unmarked, nothing but some leftover scars from catching himself at the skatepark.

“I think our car flipped? There was a lot of crashing and my leg really fuckin hurt. It’s still hurts.”

Willie frowned, clearly addled from the leftover anesthesia and whatever they were giving him for the pain. Alex pulled his hand up to press a series of kisses across Willie’s knuckles, making sure to cover each scar at least once.

“You can’t die on me, Wills. I fucking love you, okay? I know you do insane stunts and regularly let yourself get beat to crap at the skate park, but you can’t fucking die on me in some stupid car accident. I’d lose my goddamn mind without you.”

“You love me?”

Willie’s voice was soft and awed and Alex suddenly realized he hadn’t ever actually said those words out loud before even though they’d been living in his brain for months now. When he looked into Willie’s eyes he saw a hint of wetness there, and his heart melted.

“Yes, I love you, you fucking dork. I’ve been in love with you for months.”

Willie grinned, dopey eyed and pink cheeked.

“Well, I’ve been in love with you for like, ever. So, I win. Gimme a kiss for my prize.”

Alex laughed and rolled his eyes, but obliged, nonetheless. Willie might not remember this interaction, but Alex would never forget it. A look of absolute peace settled onto his boyfriend’s face.

“I knew you’d come. I knew as soon as that car hit us that when I woke up, you’d be here. You’re the best boyfriend ever, that’s why I love you. And you’re so hot. Like, really hot.”

Alex’s cheeks burned, his heart kicking into overdrive.

“C’mere,” Willie nodded his head to the side and tried to shuffle over, like he was inviting Alex to climb in next to him. He made a disgruntled sound when the contraption his leg was in refused to budge, frowning up at the suspension system.

“That’s so lame, what the fuck? I wanna cuddle.”

And Alex, unable to resist even when he knew it would probably be better for Willie if he did, climbed up to wedge his body into the small space between Willie and the guardrails on his bed. He tucked one arm behind Willie’s head, pulling his face into the space between his neck and shoulder. Willie let out a contented sigh, his breath sending shivers down Alex’s spine.

“You smell like you,” Willie whispered, the sound happy and relaxed. “I love you, Lex.”

“I love you, too.” Alex sighed, kissing his way across every single cut and bruise he could reach without moving.

Willie settled into place, his body going lax and soft snores sounding out against Alex’s chest within moments. Alex let his own head fall to rest against the top of Willie’s, finally allowing himself to believe everything would be okay. When the same nurse came to tell him that his other friend had arrived and maybe it would be best to come back in the morning, he accepted it without complaint. She gave him a final moment to say goodnight, Alex taking the time to make sure Willie was tucked in tight before kissing his temple softly.

Willie was going to be okay, and Alex was going to spend the rest of his life making sure he was always the one there to kiss his scrapes and bruises.

Send me prompts for my second birthday!

#mads writes #send me prompts for my birthday!#willex #jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp ficlet #willex ficlet #willex week

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hypnoticwinter · 4 years

Text

Down the Rabbit Hole part 13

“Okay,” Makado says, straightening my lapels. “Your name is Roan Merriweather. You’re in Admin but I pulled you because you know how to work a camera and you’ve always wanted to take a trip down into the Pit. Sounds good?”

“This is my cover story?” I ask, giving her a dubious glance.

“Something like that,” she shrugs. “Just play it cool.”

“You still haven’t told me what I’m doing here,” I tell her, trying not to let her hear a note of panic in my voice. We’ve been waiting outside the door of the barracks for a solid five minutes now, while Makado checks her phone periodically and texts Peter. We’d dropped him off at a different barracks earlier; neither of them would tell me why. Finally Makado rolls her eyes and shoves her phone back into her pocket.

“Don’t worry about it,” she tells me. “Just be cool, and we’ll get you into the Pit.”

I can hear rollicking conversation from within the barracks, sounding like a solid six or seven people all having a decent time. “Showtime,” she murmurs to me, and then Makado knocks briefly and saunters in, leaving me to trail along in her wake, the conversation stilling so suddenly that I imagine I can hear crickets.

Inside there are about seven or eight people, all in various states of undress or relaxation; there’s a dartboard on the wall, cots pressed against the sides, an attached bathroom and a general air of levity. I imagine I can smell it, like walking into what I imagined a field barracks somewhere in Afghanistan or Iraq might have been like, the same lazy air of general superiority, the same sense of cagey, feigned easiness that at the first sign of trouble could evaporate into a coordinated machine, each of its members greasing together like fitted gears.

Makado clears her throat and silence falls, with a last subtle clink as someone nudges a bottle somewhere out of sight with their foot. Eight pairs of eyes swing around to meet ours, gazing with mixed curiosity and indifference. I shift uncomfortably, not knowing where to look.

“Gentlemen,” Makado says, voice colored with what sounds to me like a suppressed grin, “I have a couple of late additions to the team.”

“And lady,” someone calls out from the back in a low-pitched but identifiably female voice, and the silence breaks like an ice sheet and everyone laughs, and even Makado rolled her eye, an expression of tolerant levity rising on her face.

“Alright, Elena,” she sas. “And lady. Ladies, I should say, now,” twisting around to nod at me. I don’t understand what she wants for a moment but then I realize and I take a step forward and peer out at the faces peering out at me then raise my hand in a perfunctory greeting.

“Uh, hi.”

Dead silence. My eyes scan over rugged faces, bearded and beardless, all seemingly male. Whoever Elena is she must be all the way at the back. There are grins and chuckles and nudges but I expected that somehow, it doesn’t surprise me. I’m an intruder; this is a team.

Someone wolf-whistles and even though I nearly burst out laughing, from next to me I hear Makado suck in her breath, I could practically feel her temperature shift from tolerably warm to unbearably frosty, and then the woman who’d called out before, Elena, stands up and grins at me.

“About damn time!” she crows, looking around at the rest of the guys. “Too much of a damn sausage party in this team!”

And then everyone laughs again and I’m smiling in spite of myself, I can’t help it. Elena motions to me and I look over at Makado, feeling a little like I‘m a new kid at a playground asking my mom if I could go play with all of these weird kids I’d never seen before. She grins at me, openly then, and again I think I see what Peter saw four years ago. Something in me aches and I think Makado must have seen it as well because her smile lost a couple of molars; she looks at me cautiously for a moment before clapping her hands to regain the room’s attention.

“Everybody,” she says, “this is Roan, uh, Merriweather. She’s from Admin, she’s going to be accompanying you on your expedition.”

Somebody groans and makes a face at me, and someone else from the back yells out “Admin sucks!”

Back to playing a role, I think to myself. Then, a second later, I shrug. Everybody loves an Uncle Tom.

“Yeah, Admin sucks,” I call back. “That’s why I’m here!”

Cheers and scattered whooping. I nudge Makado, lean in towards her. “Thanks,” I murmur. She gives me a friendly squeeze on the upper arm, and then pushes me away gently.

“Don’t fuck it up,” she tells me.

I make my way through the ranks over to Elena, flash a hesitant smile at her, and she grins and makes a space for me next to her on the bunk. She’s talk and slender and very pretty, a messy shock of bleached-blonde hair over a fine-featured face. “Christ,” she says, “it’s been way too fucking long since we’ve had another girl in this outfit. How many trips you done?”

“Sorry?”

“You know,” she says, giving me a look. “How many times you’ve been down?”

I take my eyes off of Makado, now speaking to a tall, shirtless, blonde-haired man with muscles so rippling his chest looks like the start of an ocean, and glance over at Elena. “Uh, this’ll be my first.”

Over on the other side of the barracks the game of darts is starting back up again, and on the bunk next to us a wiry black man with a goatee is reaching down under the cot and taking out a bottle of liquor surreptitiously, his eyes still on Makado. He sees me watching and grins, then reaches out his hand for me to shake.

“Ellis,” he says. “Ellis Hughes. I’m the resident nerd.”

His palm is very warm but also very dry.

“Roan,” I tell him. “I’m the camerawoman.”

“You want some?”

“Maybe later, I don’t drink much –“

“This is your first trip?” Elena interrupts, her voice serious. Ellis leans over, frowning.

“Say what now?”

“What’s the big deal?” I ask. “I’m just there to –“

“What’s the big deal!” Elena laughs, a rough edge of anger lurking beneath it. “Are you serious? This is going to be your first trip?”

“Well, yeah,” I say, feeling myself flushing. “Is there something wrong - ?”

Elena gets up in a hurry and storms over to Makado, pushing the blonde man out of the way, who rolls his eyes and makes a face at her before sauntering over to the dart game and throwing his arms over the shoulders of the two others who were waiting to play. I look over at Ellis. “Did I say something wrong?”

He licks his lips and thinks about it for a moment, clearly trying to decide how best to put it. “Let’s just say that this isn’t going to be a picnic.”

Something in me bristles at that. “I can assure you I’m more than capable –“

“And I’m sure you are too,” he says quickly, flashing another bright grin at me. “But like I said, this ain’t a picnic. Just being ‘capable’ might not cut it. I mean, do you know how to use a personal stent? Or a laser cutter? Or –“

“Oh, give it a rest, Ellis,” someone groans from the floor on the other side of Elena’s cot, and then the speaker sits up and a shaggy head rises into view. He tosses his head, knocking some of the hair out of his eyes, and looks me up and down. “She’s gonna be fine.”

Over near the door Makado’s eyes flick over to mine and then back to Elena, still speaking to her animatedly, talking, I now feel sure, about how unsuited I was for whatever expedition they’re going on. I feel a hard little knot writhing in my stomach but I do my best to quash it; instead I look over at the man on the floor. “So what’s your thing?” I ask him.

“Eh?” he grunts.

“You know,” I shrug, cutting my eyes over at Ellis. “He says he’s the nerd. What do you do?”

“Fumi does maps,” Ellis says. “We get lost, it’s his fault.”

“It isn’t my fault if you lot don’t understand how to read a three-d projection,” Fumi says. “When we got lost in the Village two months ago –“

“See,” Ellis says to me, “Fumi talks a lot of shit, but –“

The door creaked open again and we all quiet, staring over to see who it is, and then Peter walks in and the barracks explode. Even Fumi, who I had initially taken to be the reserved, laid-back type, bursts out a quiet profanity and bolts to his feet to join the crowd gathering around Peter, shaking his hand and clapping him on the back and asking him where the hell he’s been, man, we all thought he was dead!

Mixed feelings. On one hand, good to have attention taken off me, especially if I’m going to have to pretend to be someone else.

I cast a weather eye over at the crowd. Peter’s smiling harder than I’d ever seen him smile before and I feel happy for him. I’d had no idea that he was so loved here. He must have really made friends during the period he worked for the company, after the disaster. And then there’s Makado, standing then, moving closely to Peter’s side and grinning broadly, unable to even pretend to be reserved. They stand side to side there for a long while and while I can’t see through the crowd surrounding them I would like to believe that they’re holding hands.

Eventually everybody crowds out; I think there was some talk of a trip to a pub or bar or something. Either way, I’m left alone in the barracks. I feel distinctly forgotten. I pick out one of the unused cots and lay on it for a long while thinking, until finally sleep comes to me. Later on, when everyone comes back in, loud and drunk and merry, I wake but pretend not to. I watch through slitted eyes as Elena, smelling a little of alcohol, comes and crawls into the cot next to mine.

She watches me for a long while, laying there on her side, staring, her pretty little face knotted in a frown, but just as soon as I decide to open my eyes fully and ask her what she’s staring at, she rolls over and lets out a little huffing sigh and falls asleep.

* * *

The next punch whips out low and fast and I just barely twist out of the way in time. I purse my lips, glare at Elena. “You know,” I tell her, “I thought we were supposed to be boxing.”

“We are boxing,” she says, tossing her head to flick an errant curl of bleached-blonde hair out of her slate eyes, waggling one gloved fist at me.

“You don’t sucker-punch in boxing.”

“Yeah, well,” she says, trailing off. I can see a shift in her movement, see her eyes flick downwards at me, and I know instinctively that she’s going to try something. I let myself roll onto the balls of my feet, let my knees bend slightly. “I’ve never been good at following the rules,” she grunts, snapping out another punch right at my gut. This time I’m ready for it.

The four years of Karate I took in college had never really served me very well, but there was one advantage I’d had that I think Elena wasn’t expecting from me – I went to a hardcore dojo, not a belt factory. Sparring three days a week, stretches and warmups intense enough that I barely was able to stumble my way through the material afterwards…but I adapted after enough time pushing myself and then it wasn’t so bad, once I was able to rely on my body’s newfound strength.

I’d hated it at the time. I don’t know why I bothered to keep up with it once I’d completed that first-year PE credit, but something kept bringing me back. Maybe it was the way one of the instructors, a tall, swarthy man named Ali, would grin at me after he’d cajoled me into dipping down a couple of inches deeper into a straddle split, or raising my leg a couple of inches higher in a kick hold, maybe it was the way that I went from not being able to break a single board, even if I really tried, to being able to break three with a punch and not even feel it afterwards. Something about the tangible improvement tickled some sort of progress-happy funny bone in my psyche and from then on I was hooked.

I made it halfway to a blue belt before I’d graduated and had to move away from Oklahoma. In Karate terms that’s still a little baby, really, but if Elena thinks I’ve never learned to dance she’s going to have another think coming.

I push my arm down and block the blow, deflecting it downwards. Her fist skids off the flat of my thigh and I barely feel it. Then I take a step to the side and spin, whipping out a roundhouse and halting it just next to the side of her head. To her credit she barely flinches, just flicks her eyes over and considers my foot as though it’s something mildly repulsive. The tendon in my groin down the inner base of my thigh is throbbing a little and I know I’ll regret the maneuver later but for the moment I’m alright.

“Didn’t realize you knew MMA,” she snarls, clamping onto my leg before I can react, twisting it and sending us both to the ground. I fall awkwardly and feel the sting as the hard foam mat slaps me in the palms and the chest. Then she clambers over me before I can roll back up onto my hands and knees, getting me into an impromptu sleeper choke. I know how to get out of one while I’m standing but from the ground is a different matter entirely. I squirm a little, trying to work my hands back around behind her, but she tightens her forearm around my neck and I stop.

“You gonna tap?” she purrs into my ear, sounding angry. She smells hot and spicy and aggressive, sweat mingled with a vaguely floral underlying arona. I struggle a little, try and find the weakness in her grip, but there isn’t one, she has me dead to rights.

I reach out slowly ahead of me and tap the mat three times. Elena squeezes a little harder for a moment and then slowly disengages from me and rolls away. I flop onto my back and glance over at her. “You realize I’m just here to work a camera, right? You guys are going to handle all the fighting.”

“I’m not even going to tell you why that’s a fucking stupid sentiment,” she says. “What if something grabs you down there and nobody else is around to help?”

“What, I’m supposed to get it in a sleeper choke?”

“No,” she says slowly, as though I’m stupid, “you’re supposed to fight back however you can.”

“I don’t think I –“

She offers me her hand, the glove hanging loosely from the strap, and pulls me up. “Take initiative,” she suggests. “Be proactive,” she says, and then before I can react she reaches up with the other hand, still gloved, and pops me lightly in the face. It’s clearly not designed to injure, she hits about as lightly as she can, but something about the physics of it tweaks something in my nose and I feel a twinge and then a trickle of fluid down the front of my face. She stares, incredulous, at the blood on her glove, and then shakes her head and gives me a helpless, resigned grin.

“Look at you,” she says. “I didn’t even mean to do that. I’m so sorry, here, let me -“

And then she reaches up and wipes the blood from my lip with the back of her hand. I see it staining her skin red. My heart is pounding in my throat. What if she doesn’t wash her hands before she eats something? What if she rubs her eye, or scratches herself, or -

When I act it feels like time compresses and it seems as though I’m moving a million miles an hour. I step forward and grab her by the wrist and tug her along towards me, or at least I intend to. I was going to drag her off to the bathroom and make sure she scrubbed every last speck of blood off of her skin, make sure that she was safe, but instead she jerks her hand away from me and stands there staring, her fingers half-curled into a fist.

“What the hell is your problem?” she barks at me, and I realize that everyone in the training room is staring at us, squared off again across the mat, my hand trembling slightly. I look down at the bloodstain on her palm and then, not knowing what else to do, I wipe my nose hurriedly, contaminating my own hands. My eyes sweep the floor frantically but I can’t see any telltale carmine drops anywhere.

“Elena, please, please -“ I start, but she spins on her heel and stalks away to the showers, giving me a withering look over her shoulder.

“Fuck off,” she tells me. “Don’t you ever grab me like that –“

Then she’s gone. I can feel my cheeks burning. I avoid a forest of stares and scramble after her, trying not to feel like I’m scurrying off with my tail between my legs.

As I round the corner, trailing my fingers along the inlaid tile, the faint coarse griminess gathering reassuringly at my touch, I realize that the shower isn’t running and I have a brief moment of despair, guessing that Elena’s already been and left, before I turn the corner and I’m staring at her naked back, long and muscular, a curving v-taper nudging downward into the swell of her hips and a whole heap of emotions flutter around me. Before I can tear my eyes away she looks back at me and our eyes meet for just a moment, her sharp-eyed predator’s gaze boring into me, and then I snap mine away and hurry over to my locker and start to change. I can feel her looking at me but I keep my face forwards, don’t meet her gaze.

“You bitch,” she hisses, and I jump, I cringe.

“Elena,” I mutter, cutting my gaze sideways at her, “don’t.”

I can see her hands, the red of my blood deepening as it dries. She hasn’t washed her hands yet.

She gets up, pads past me, the force of her anger practically slamming me into my locker as she passes. She’s naked, heading for the showers, a towel thrown over her shoulder. She doesn’t spare even a glance at me.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt, just before she turns the corner. “I didn’t want to - I didn’t mean to - I’m sorry.”

She stops, looks back at me. Her eyes are very hard but they soften gradually, and she heaves out a sigh, leans her long lithe body against the corner of the tiled wall.

“Is your nose okay?” she asks. I haven’t even thought about it. I reach up and pat at it gently.

“Yeah, it’s still there,” I tell her, and I can see her crack an unwilling smile before she hides it, glances down.

“I’m sorry I gave you a bloody nose,” she tells me. “I didn’t mean to. I was just going to bop you.”

I swallow hard. “Elena, you have to wash your hand. Like, scrub it, I mean.”

She frowns at me. “What’s eating you?” she asks. “It’s just blood. It isn’t like I’m licking it up,” she laughs, miming it, but her eyes sharpen as she sees me practically jump out of my skin. I make it a few steps towards her before I stop myself and try to turn it into some casual gesture or movement, but there’s no way to disguise it. I can see her eyes narrow with the same intensity as my cheeks flush.

“Roan,” she says, “what’s going on? Why are you acting like this?”

“I can’t - look, just make sure you scrub your hand, okay?” I ask her. She shakes her head.

“Tell me why,” she says. “Why’s it so important?”

I stare at her and hope the anguish writ large in my expression is enough to convince her. And perhaps it works, for she shakes her head and pads around the corner. I listen as she takes a shower, while I dab at my face and clean myself off, and she looks mildly surprised to see me when she comes back out again. Her hair is fluffy and unkempt and she has the towel wrapped around her waist and something about the way her messy curls fall over her face makes me want to smile. She holds the hand out to me, turns it over for my inspection.

“Clean enough for you?” she asks, and I nod. We stand there in silence for a while, effectively side by side, rummaging in our lockers, while Elena gets dressed and I change back into my regular clothes.

“Cat got your tongue?” Elena asks me and I grunt, look over at her, then shut my locker.

“Sorry,” I say. “I was just thinking.”

“What if you didn’t come with?” Elena says, and I process that for a moment, and I shake my head.

“I don’t understand you,” I tell her. “First you’re happy to see me cause there’ll be another woman in the group, and I can understand that. Then you’re concerned because I’m not a crack special ops Green Beret motherfucker –“

“That isn’t –“

“And now when I’m justifiably worried about goddam blood-borne –“

“Jesus Christ,” she groans. “I wasn’t going to actually lick my hand. I didn’t even mean to give you a nosebleed! I just…” she trails off. “Look,” she says. “You should back out. Reconsider coming on this damn-fool errand we’re stuck with. You can tell Veret no, you know that, right? She’s Sec, you’re Admin, she has zero jurisdiction over you. You can tell her where to fucking stick it and she can’t say shit.”

It takes me a moment to realize that she’s talking about Makado. “What if I want to go?” I ask.

Elena looks me dead in the eyes. Hers are very grey, the same color as a cloudy day. “You’re going to die down there,” she assures me.

I blow an exasperated breath out. “You care that much?” I ask her. “Seriously? You’ve barely spoken a word to me since the day we met. It’s like you’re mad at me for – for just having the misfortune to be here. You think I have control over this? They need someone to run the camera, I’ve got the experience. Between, well, everyone gradually realizing how useless I’m going to be down there and my pathetic performance the other day at the range –“ I wince to myself at the memory of it - “I’ve had a goddam miserable time here and I don’t want this entire expedition to be like that. Do you have a problem with me?”

“No,” Elena says firmly.

“Then what the hell are you treating me like this for?”

She thinks about it for a moment then shrugs. “Trying to scare you off, I guess,” she explains. “If nothing else you’ve got guts. I just don’t want you to get killed because of overconfidence –“

“Oh, trust me, I’m far from overconfident.”

“No,” Elena says, “I suppose you aren’t. There’s some sort of angle you’re working, isn’t there? Did Miller put you up to something? Spying on Veret, or on –“

“Who’s – “ I start, and then stop myself. Clearly this Miller is someone I ought to know. “No,” I tell her. “There’s no angle. I just want to go down there, see what it’s like. I’ve seen videos,” I say, thinking quickly, “I’ve seen footage, but that’s not even close to what it’s really like. Isn’t it?”

“You’re right,” Elena laughs, “it isn’t.”

And then she turns away, sits down on the bench to do up her shoes and I stand there staring at her for a moment before I shake my head and gather my things and turn to leave. I almost make it to the door before she calls after me.

“I don’t hate you,” she says, and I turn and look at her, meet the gaze she’s flinging at me with what I hope is stoniness, trying not to feel like a lonely puppy. I’m tired, I’m fatigued, part of me wants to go the hell back home and get out of Gumption but another part of me wants to see what the hell is down there in the Pit. I’ve barely seen Peter since that first day and I haven’t seen Makado at all, and I haven’t had the guts to pull out my phone and call anybody from work, or any of my friends. I can feel my heart practically flipping over onto its back and begging for belly-rubs no matter how hard I try to stomp down on it.

And then, of course, there’s the little voice in the back of my mind that keeps whispering about whether or not I might be able to get my hands on some ballast…

No, it’s stupid. It isn’t an option. They’ve probably got it locked down so tightly –

Focus, Roan. One thing at a time. Don’t be such a goddam nitrogen queen.

“I know you don’t hate me,” I tell her, taking a step back towards the door. “But you’ve sure been doing your best to make it seem like you do.”

She offers me a slow smile, and as she rises I once again take the chance to admire the wiry strength of her arms, the sloping incline of her thighs, the taper of her stomach. She’s very pretty, after all; I don’t know what it is but I was expecting something more like Vasquez from Aliens, a wiry woman constantly on-edge, not willing to take any shit at all, but Elena is much more –

“You checking me out, Merriweather?”

I blush instantly and reluctantly drag my eyes back up to meet hers. She looks smug. “No,” I tell her, but even to my own ears it sounds like a lie. Was I checking her out? Of course I wasn’t. That’d be ridiculous.

“Riiight,” she says, nodding at me. I think she is looking at me a little differently afterwards, but I can’t tell whether it’s in a good way or a bad way. Then Elena tells me she wants to show me something and we leave the gym together, and she takes me not towards the barracks but out the other way, into the scrub grass and clear wind.

* * *

“What about…” I squint. “Eleanor Kovacs?”

“It’s pronounced Kovacs.”

“Oh. What happened to her?”

“Cratered when a BFR she thought was bomb-proof wasn’t so bomb-proof after all.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?”

Elena laughs. “A BFR is a Big Fucking Rock. Down in the Pit it’s mostly calcium deposits that that refers to, so they’re not really rocks. It’s just old caving slang left-over from the guys in the 70s that explored the place for the first time. ‘Bomb-proof’ means that it’s secure, if you tie a line to it and let yourself down it won’t drop you.”

“And ‘cratered?’”

“I’m sure you can guess what that one means.”

“Christ.”

“Yeah. I liked Eleanor, she was nice, but you never trust a BFR.”

Down here, around the bend and down a ways, over the tiny trickle of a stream that bubbles over dusty rocks and down into a drainage ditch and from there beyond the fence, past another thicket of brush, there is a small cemetery with about eight headstones in it, and green grass, and a few still fairly intact wreaths that look like they’re only a couple of days old.

“How long ago did that happen?”

Elena thinks for a moment. “About a year ago. So probably a little before or after you got hired, right? I think you said you’d been here for a year.”

I did say that. I’d debating going a little shorter, maybe six months or so, but I felt like if I pretended I’d been here for much shorter than a year it’d be suspicious as to why Makado had picked me out specifically instead of someone with more seniority.

“That’s right,” I said. “I think I might have heard something about it? I think it was like a month before I joined.”

“You said you were a photographer before this?”

“Um,” I grunt. I want rather much to get away from talking about my fake history, especially because it’d be fairly easy for me to give away that I don’t actually work here and not even know it. “That’s not entirely accurate, but close enough.”

She looks at me for a moment then shrugs. “Alright, miss mysterious, be that way.”

“What about this one?” I ask, pointing to one of the more weathered headstones. Elena peers at it then shakes her head.

“I don’t know, that was before my time.”

“When did you join?”

“Three years ago. Got out of the Coast Guard and didn’t really know what else to do, somebody here had heard about me and sent an offer my way and I said ‘what the hell’ and signed on.”

“You were in the Coast Guard?”

“Yeah, I was a cave diver.”

I look at Elena, really look at her, thoughtfully this time. She’s staring at the headstone, she hasn’t drawn the long aquiline arch of her neck back up. She’s thinking about something, some inward private musing that, even if I asked her and even if she wanted to tell me, I would never be able to know the length and breadth and depth of.

A sudden crazy impulse makes me want to reach out and touch her hand and hold it in mine but I restrain myself. Her eyes flick over to me and she frowns. “What?” she asks.

“I was just thinking.”

“You do a lot of thinking while you’re just staring at people?”

I shrug diffidently. “It’s a bad habit of mine.”

I can see her trying not to smile.

The radio clipped to Elena’s belt bleeps at her and the moment is instantly shattered. She tugs it out, muttering a muffled curse, and clicks it on. “Yeah?”

“Elena, it’s Fumi. We’re finally getting briefed in ten, where are you?”

“At the gym,” she says quickly. “Just leaving now.”

“You are? I’m at the gym.”

Elena closes her eyes and makes a face at me; I clap a hand over my mouth so I don’t laugh. “Must have just missed you,” she tells him.

“Have you seen that girl from Admin, too? They told me to call everybody but I can’t get ahold of her.”

“She probably left her radio with her stuff,” Elena says, flashing me a little smirk. “Fucking Admin.”

I feign affront. Over the radio Fumi laughs.

“Fucking Admin,” he agrees. “Still, though, Admin or not, have you seen her body? I wouldn’t mind –“

“Oh, shut up,” she snaps. “Keep it in your pants,” she tells him. “Out.”

“Out,” he laughs.

I laugh but it sounds wrong, I sound nervous. Or maybe just awkward.

“Don’t let it get to you,” Elena tells me. “Just guy talk.”

“Mm,” I grunt, then look down at myself. “Not sure what he meant, to be honest.”

“Eh?”

“Well, if he likes skinny little skeletons, I guess…”

Elena laughs again. She has a low, slow laugh, like waves, like granite. “I don’t think that’s how I’d put it.”

“Oh yeah?” I say. I use the upcoming prospect of having to leave for the briefing as a pretense to pat myself down, make sure I have all of my effects (none of which I took out, of course, but even so). I see Elena’s eyes narrow fractionally but in an even-tempered way. “How would you put it?” I ask her.

She looms over me and something about the weight of her presence makes my breath catch.

We’re very close now. I can smell her, something vague and salty and fresh-smelling, like how I imagine a particularly clean crocodile might smell. I can hear her lips draw back in a smile.

“How I would put it?”

“Yeah,” I breathe. I swallow hard and try to think, but the way she smells is making it hard to.

The radio squawks again and I jump slightly. Elena sighs and then turns around and walks away, very deliberately not looking back at me. I stare after her, and then pretend I wasn’t when she turns, radio near her chin. “Yeah,” she says into it, “I found her. Tell them we’ll be there in five.”

“Ack,” the radio crackles, and then falls silent.

“Ack?” I ask.

“Acknowledged.”

“Oh.”

Then there is nothing more to say and we walk back together and I use the time to wonder what the hell I’m doing and how deep a hole I’m digging myself into.

* * *

“This is what we’re after,” Makado says, clicking to the next slide. I frown.

“What the hell is that?” someone asks from up near the front row – I think it might be Crookshank, the heavy-set, bear-faced man that Ellis had introduced to me as the team’s resident medic.

“That, Mr. Crookshank,” Makado says, her eye flashing, “is a resonating pressure crystal.”

“What the hell is a resonating pressure crystal?” he asks, and I hear a few chuckles from the middle rows. Makado grins at him.

“Don’t worry about it,” she says. “It’s need to know, and…”

“And we don’t need to know,” a half-dozen voices intone simultaneously, prompting more titters afterwards. Some sort of in-joke.

“How big is this thing?” Ellis asks.

“The team that initially discovered it down near Blue Matter reported that it was roughly two hundred kilograms or so. Dimensions are…I don’t know, a dresser? Chest of drawers? Something like that.”

“Are those bits sharp?” someone asks.

“I don’t know,” Makado says, a thin whisper of impatience lurking in the back of her voice. “Probably.”

“Where is this crystal now?” Fumi asks. Next to me Elena uncrosses and recrosses her legs.

“This is the part you probably aren’t going to like,” Makado says. “The team that had found it called for help retrieving it, and one of the cargo IAVs was dispatched down to assist. We lost radio contact with the team halfway down, and when the IAV got there, the team and the crystal were gone.”

“Whose team was it?” Elena asks. Whatever levity might have been fluttering around the room before is long gone by now.

“It was a science team,” Makado says. “Nobody you all would know, most likely. I believe the leader was Nguyen, he’s a researcher.”

“And this crystal is important enough to send us down after it, even if we don’t know what the hell happened or where it is?”

“Yes,” Peter says, squinting against the light of the projector as he looks over from the computer desk up at the front. “It’s that important.”

“But you can’t tell us why?” I call out. I don’t know what makes me do it. Just wanting to be part of the team. Makado gives me a look but a very subdued one.

“No,” she says, “I can’t. You all know me,” she says, her eye lingering on me. “You know if I could I would, if I could bend the rules, even, and tell you, but I can’t. And, the point I was going to make before we got sidetracked, we actually do know exactly where the crystal is. The science team managed to fit it with a tracker before whatever happened happened.”

She takes a breath, blows it out. “We found copepod castings at the site, and the tracker shows the crystal is currently in the barrows.”

It’s Greek to me but everybody else reacts hard. Elena leans forward and puts her head in her hands and half of the rest of them get to their feet, gesticulating, Ellis and Fumi among them.

“Hell no,” Ellis says.

“That’s a goddam suicide mission,” Fumi tells Makado, and when I flick my eyes over to her to judge her reaction I can see that she thinks so too; it’s there in the cast of her face, just for a moment, before she composes herself.

“Everybody relax,” Peter says, and, miraculously, almost everyone does.

“Look,” Crookshank says, still on his feet, pointing at the crystal still on the screen, “even if this thing is so goddam important that we die getting it back, even if we manage to beat off the hundreds of fucking copepods down there in the barrows, how the hell are we going to get it up here? Another IAV? They can’t fit into the barrows, the passages are too tight and twisting. We can’t carry 200 kilograms up here, we can’t –“

“Crookshank,” Makado says, voice icy, “sit down.”

He wavers for a moment but sits. Makado clears her throat.

“You aren’t going to carry it.”

I frown. The crystal on the screen looks damn near impossible to carry anyway. A wicked constellation of dagger-sharp jade barbs and spikes and serrations surrounding a gnarled, crenellated core. Even if it were smaller and lighter I don’t know how you could pick it up without hurting either it, yourself, or both. Elena looks over at me frowning and I shrug; I don’t know where the hell Makado is going with this.

“He is,” she says, pointing over at the door.

As we all turn, it opens softly, and with careful, hissing, precise steps, a machine walking upright on two pistoning, powerful, articulated legs steps inside, one of its immense blocky arms reaching backward and catching the door by the handle and shutting it very softly behind it. Its head is a cube with a few careful angled shavings taking out of it, and in the recesses they create lights blink, but there is nothing so crude as a camera lens to show that it looks at us as it swings its face back and forth, like a lizard tasting the air.

The room has gone so silent that the only sound I can hear is the whine of servos as it steps further in, and a clenching fist of terror closes around my heart and squeezes, the ancient timbre of fight-or-flight peaking in my brain as this animate, impossible thing stomps towards us.

Continue with Part 14

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#mystery flesh pit #alt lit #thriller #Michael Crichton #disaster #caving #Novel #writing #fiction

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omi-ohmyimagination · 5 years

Text

Undercover (1/3)

Part: 1 (of 3)

Themes: Mature, CEO AU, Spy, Mafia, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Romance, Mention of suicide, Sexual harassment, Violence, Optional Bias x Female Reader

Word count: 31,636

Description: Your whole life is full of lies, secrets and shady people. Only one thing is sure - when money is involved, nothing else matters. Anything goes. But when you meet your new target - unreachable, cold and damaged man, so painfully similar to you, things start to look a little bit different. What if you don’t want to live undercover anymore?

OMI’s note: Woah, here it is - first part of Undercover. Fixed and obviously in new form. Some parts stayed the same, some are changed in a very slight way, some more. Overall, it looks better in my opinion and I hope you guys will enjoy it. Before I leave you with this long text, I just want to say that writing second part might take a bit of time, so I will probably upload something else in the meantime. So yeah, I hope you will like this “new” Undercover.

Before you entered a building hidden in a dark alley, you looked around to make sure that no one saw you. You pushed heavy metal door and immediately blinked because of a bright light.

“Geez, Sam, change these fucking bulbs. How do you even work here,” you said, protecting your eyes with the hand. You came closer to a huge desk in the corner of a room and sat on it. Sam looked up from papers that he was reading and flashed charming smile at you. His black hair fell on his glasses and you lazily pushed them up. He was handsome, you couldn't deny it, handsome nerd who didn't really know anything other than his work, and who should have probably chill sometimes. However, it was too weird to get involve in any type of relationship other than the one you already had. You liked him as a friend, and ruining it with one-time sex wasn't something you wanted to do.

“I got used to it. Besides, you come here once or twice in a month so you can handle them,” he laughed, nudging your thigh with his elbow. “I got something for you.”

“I'm sure you do, you wouldn't call me if there was no new work.”

“True. Here, this is a full file about your new target and his company,” he said, handing you pretty thick folder.

“Damn, there's a lot.”

“He's quite... famous,” he paused for a moment and looked at papers in your hand. His voice was laced with hesitation and, in some weird way, it made you anxious. “Well, go into boss' office. He wants to tell you all the details about his plan. He should be here in ten minutes.”

“You're throwing me out already? I thought you missed me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I did, but I also have a lot of things to do and, knowing you, you won't shut up.”

“Rude,” you whined, hitting his shoulder. He chased you out with a smile on his lips, so you got up lazily and headed to the other room.

When you entered it, suffocating smell of lilies hit your nose instantly. You shuddered in disgust. Whenever you came here, you always wondered why Kyo liked it so much. You asked him about it a few times, but he never gave you a clear answer. For you, it wasn't even close to being pleasant, it reminded you of funerals, and that was something you hated more than anything.

You fell on a chair and hid your nose in a t-shirt. Uh, Kyo, you better move your ass before I suffocate here.

You looked around bored but there was nothing interesting - white walls, closets full of papers and big mahogany desk at the center. Empty as always. Kyo loved to keep his surrounding clean, at least that was what he told you once. You sighed and decided to open the file that Sam gave you a few minutes ago. You gasped shocked when you saw the name written at the first page.

“Fucking B/N B/L/N,” you half screamed, sitting straight. You flipped through the pages in disbelief. “What the fuck? Are you in your right state of mind, you bastard?”

That must have been a joke. Kyo wanted you to spy on one of the richest businessmen in the whole country, which was more than unbelievable for you. You couldn't even imagine how you were supposed to do this, that guy was probably with bodyguards all the time. You hoped that it was some kind of mistake.

The door suddenly opened and you lifted your gaze. Kyo smiled, which made wrinkles around his eyes deepened, “Long time no see, Y/N.”

“What is this,” you said, raising the file in the air.

“So you already know who is your next target.” Kyo sat on his leather chair and smiled even more.

“My target? I will be their fucking target, if they find out that I'm spying on him!”

“They won't, Y/N. I prepared perfect plan and I can guarantee that you will be safe. Don't worry.” You looked at him suspiciously. You didn't doubt him, he always did great job but... you were a bit uneasy. No matter what, this case seemed harder than everything you did combined. “I kept an eye on him for some time now. I was waiting for a perfect timing to finally make a move and an opportunity came two days ago. He's desperately looking for a personal assistant and you, my dear, have the best qualifications for this job.”

You chuckled amused, “Me?”

“Of course. Why? Didn't you work for the richest man in Japan a year ago?” Kyo looked at you surprised.

“What are you... oh no, you didn't.” You sat there with opened mouth, utterly shocked. In the past he faked your identity a few times, but it was always something minor like name or date of birth, he never did anything more than this. Especially not something involving outsiders. “What if they contact him?”

“He will tell them, and I'm quoting, oh yes, she was excellent in her job, I've never worked with someone this competent; such a shame that she came back to her homeland. Believe me, it wasn't hard to convince him to cooperate.”

“You threatened him?” Your eyes widened in shock.

“You shouldn't worry about it. The point is that he will say what I want him to say.”

You ran hand through your hair in frustration. “Okay fine, but what if it doesn't work out? What if they choose someone else?”

“It will work out. I checked every girl that applied, and they are nowhere near your achievements. In two days you will be B/N's assistant and you will begin to spy on him. I don't know, you can gain his trust somehow, become his friend or some shit, and then he will tell you all his secrets. From what I've heard, he only acts tough, but actually he's easy to manipulate. And you're the champ of manipulation, my dear.”

“It's risky as fuck, Kyo. If he finds out, he will kill me, let's be honest.”

“Don't be so dramatic. How many times did you escape the death already?”

You looked at him with squinted eyes. “Many. Too many for my age. But this situation is different.”

“It just another job, Y/N,” he said, shaking his head in annoyance.

You sighed, knowing that there was no point in arguing with him. If Kyo wanted something, he got it. Whatever the cost. “And what are we looking for exactly?”

“I can't really tell you.”

“What,” you gasped. Kyo never hid anything from you, especially if it was about the case you were working on. That was something new, and you didn't like it.

“All you need to know is that we have information that he's making illegal transactions. And we need to put an end to this. I'm counting on you, Y/N.”

Every time you stopped your car at the traffic lights, your gaze wandered to the folder placed on the passenger seat. It was obviously only your imagination but you could have sworn that it was surrounded by a black smoke. Almost like a bad omen.

You laughed. There was probably no reason to worry so much about it, but so far life taught you to doubt everything and everyone. Especially when they tried to hide something from you. And Kyo was definitely doing this.

When you parked outside your apartment complex, you grabbed the folder and almost ran to your flat. You were curious what information Kyo was able to gather, and how your new life looked like.

It was a long process. Every new case took a lot of time to learn about, and this one wasn't different. However, there was less about B/N himself than you expected. Pages and pages about the company's history, its purpose, and stuff that bored the hell out of you.

Information about B/N were mostly general, and you were almost a hundred percent sure that you could have found them online. Doesn't keep people around – even his own family, doesn't engage in relationships, cold, harsh, determined. The most typical characteristics of a CEO. But there was also a note left by Kyo, the one he mentioned during your meeting: acts tough but is easy to manipulate; even the slightest trace of challenge keeps him interested.

And that was all you needed.

You stepped out of your car in front of a huge glass building. You looked up and gasped amazed. From a far it didn't look so massive, but up close it was enormous, you couldn't even see the highest floor. You took a deep breath, straightened up your gray pencil skirt and moved to the entrance. You tried to recall once again every achievement and information about your life before you reached a reception.

An older woman in white dress looked at you and smiled friendly. “Hello, how can I help you, miss?”

“Yes, hello,” you said slightly nervous, “I'm here for a job interview for a position of Mr. B/L/N's assistant.”

“Oh yes, okay. You need to go on the left here and there is a room number fifteen. You will find it easily, there are quite a few girls there already,” she replied. “But firstly, can I get your name?”

“Y/N Y/L/N”

“Thank you so much. I wish you good luck.”

You bowed lightly and moved in given direction. There was, indeed, rather big group of women. All dressed in formal skirts or dresses, some older than you were expecting but all visibly nervous. You, on the other hand, weren't nervous, you were terrified. Your hands were sweating and trembling uncontrollably.

You looked around, taking a better glance at the women's faces. All of them seemed to be from rather wealthy families, dressed in designer clothes, and with perfectly done make-ups. You chuckled mad. They had no reason to be so anxious, the worst that could have happened to them was leaving this place without a job. And even if this happened, their fathers would have probably patted their heads and gave them a position in their own companies. You on the other hand, could end up in jail, in the best scenario, if something went wrong.

The door opened and a girl with shiny eyes left the room.

“How was it? Any better,” other asked.

“No, it was... terrible,” she said. She was trembling and it was obvious that she would start crying soon. “He asked me so many things, some of them rather weird. And he judged my answers so rudely. Even if they want me to work here, I would never accept their offer.” You would have felt sorry for her, if she didn't sound so bossy about it. She was young, probably younger than you, and looking at her reaction, she probably never was in situation like this. In contrast to her, during your whole life you met so many aggressive, vulgar and insolent people that the guy in the room was most likely nothing compared to them. Your only wish was not to be exposed.

It took longer than you've expected. After another hour there was only few women left, others marched out of the building with heads raised high, discouraged by the job interview. You were sitting there amazed because Kyo's plan started to look reasonable now. Somehow he must have known what type of women would be here and how demanding the interview would be.

If only they wouldn't find out that you're a scammer, you have won.

The last girl left the office and tall man appeared behind her. He was dressed in tailored suit, and his black hair was slicked back. He was handsome but also looked cold and strict. He seemed like someone who had no barriers, and would ask you about every intimate detail of your life. And that was probably right, judging from conversations you heard in the past two hours.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” he said in a low voice, looking around.

You got up. “It's me.”

“Come in, please.” He moved inside the room and stand beside the table, extending his arm. “I'm Jiho Park, vice-ceo and person responsible for B/N's personal crew. Please sit.” You sat across him and tried to look professional. “Miss Y/L/N, I checked your qualifications and I must say, they are pretty impressive. I didn't think that someone with such experience will come here today,” he continued impressed. “To be honest, it's actually beyond my expectations.”

All your dark thoughts left you immediately after his words, they didn't suspect anything and it looked like they wanted you to work for them. You noted in your mind to congratulate Kyo for creating your new life.

“I have only a few questions for you. Some of them might be rather personal but I hope you understand.” He waited for your approval, and when you nodded, he asked, “Can you tell me if you're involved in any relationship?”

“No, I'm not and answering your next question, I'm not planning to be in the near future. I want to focus on my career now.”

“Good,” he said and wrote something on a piece of paper he held in his hand. “So I assume that you don't have children, right?”

“That's correct. In fact, I don't want to have them at all.”

“I see. And was there anything you found hard to do while working for Mr. Aki?”

“Besides my fear of not understanding Japanese,” you joked, remembering Kyo's words. “Not really. I learn rather quickly and I know how to adjust to my boss' lifestyle and schedule.”

“And can you tell me why you left that work?” You looked at Jiho with wide eyes. Oh. My. God. Kyo, you dumbass. You forgot the most important thing. Your heart sped. It wasn't happening. How did he come up with useless stories from your life but forgot something so important? You tried to regain your composure and stop your trembling fingers.

“I...,” you stuttered. You had no other choice as to expose the piece of your true life. It wasn't something you liked to talk about, fuck, it was the one thing you wished you would never have to talk about again, but there was no time to come up with something good in this situation. “My mother tried to commit suicide and someone needed to be close to her. I couldn't count for my alcoholic father so there was no other choice for me. I was supposed to come back to Japan but unfortunately, she did it again. Successfully this time. It was really hard for me.” You felt tears in corners of your eyes. You tried to wipe them away secretly but failed. Jiho handed you a tissue which you gladly accepted. “I'm sorry, it's still hurts.”

“No, it's okay. I should be sorry for bringing painful memories,” he said with blank expression. “I think we can finish now. I don't really want to torture you here, miss. Please wait outside, I will inform you about the results in half an hour.”

You left the room with a bow and quickly got out of the building, ignoring looks and questions from women waiting outside. You searched your bag with trembling hands and pulled out pack of cigarettes. You lit up one and inhaled deeply. I will fucking kill you, Kyo. That was the only thing about your life that you hated talking about. Your mother's topic was too painful to bring up. After so many years, it hurt the same. The fact that she decided to end her miserable life with alcoholic and abusive husband and left you - twelve years old child with him made you more than mad. She ran away from pain, constant fighting and poverty and left it all to you to deal with. You were just a child - lonely, hurt, unloved. It was unbelievably hard to survive. You hated your father from the moment you understood what an evil man he was. And then your mother killed herself and even though you understood her, you hated her for what she did, too. You had no one, you were alone on this planet.

You threw the rest of the cigarette in the bin and sprayed perfume all over yourself. You entered the building and stopped in the lobby where you could still see the door you left some time ago. You didn't want to listen to all the questions from the rest of the girls. It was the first and the last time you ever saw them, they didn't matter to you and you didn't want to explain yourself to them. You looked up and spotted Jiho with another man. He was standing with his back to you but you could clearly see that he was more muscular and a bit taller than Jiho. You nodded your head slightly when your eyes met with Jiho's.

And then the other man turned around and you froze. It was him. B/N. He looked at you with piercing eyes, making you shuddered. You were amazed, he looked better than on the photos, almost like a sculpture made by God himself. His facial features seemed so sharp that it was unbelievable, slightly longer hair was a little messy and suit hugged his body perfectly, highlighting its athletic form. He was attractive. Even more - he was damn sexy. You looked into each others eyes for a few seconds, then he said something to Jiho and disappeared in an elevator behind him.

You released a breath that you held and glanced at Jiho again. He smiled softly at you and moved to the stairs. You followed his every move with your eyes and when he stood in front of you, you clenched your teeth in anticipation.

“Congratulation, Miss Y/N. You got this job.”

You were bored. Well, bored was a bit of an understatement. Since you got accepted into the company a week ago you spent all your time with Anna - B/N's secretary, who introduced you to company's structure, your duties and all those not-so-interesting aspects of being a personal assistant. As for you, simple you need to do whatever B/N's wants you to do would be enough, you were not particularly interested in company's history, which you already knew thanks to Kyo, and what B/N liked or didn't like.

B/N. Since that day when you entered his company for the first time, you didn't see him again. It bothered you more than you wished it would. You were wasting your time here, literally risking your life, and he didn't show up even once.

And Kyo wasn't helping at all. He made it even worse. After you pointed out his small mistake, as he called it, he nagged you every single day. He was weirdly demanding, as never before, and when you asked him about the reason behind it, he yelled at you, telling you that you should have focus on your work. With each passing day it felt more and more suspicious but you couldn't figure out why exactly.

"B/N starts his day at 10am and you're obliged to greet him and present him his schedule as soon as you see him. I'm preparing this so you don't need to worry about it. Clear," Anna asked once again, interrupting your thoughts.

You rolled your eyes. "You're telling me this for the fifth time today. Anna, I'm not stupid, I know how it works - I do whatever he wants."

She sighed. "I know, Y/N. I'm just stressed, that's all."

"Why? I should be the stressed one."

"And I don't know why you're not," she snapped, hanging her head low. "Sorry. You know, he's very demanding and you're not the first one to get this position. There were a lot of girls before you and they didn't last longer than a week. And I'm the one who's doing this job after they ran off crying! I can't keep up with everything."

Oh no. Don't open up to me. We will never be friends. I gonna vanish as soon as I get what I want.

"Do I look like those girls to you? I can handle a lot, believe me."

Anna looked at you with hope in her eyes. She smiled softly and stood up suddenly, clapping her hands. "I hope I can trust you, Y/N. For now, we're done with boring stuff. Today's gonna be your first day with B/N. Here," she said, handing you a piece of paper. "This is his schedule for today, read it - especially those additional notes I've left for you, I will be doing this for some time to help you. He will be here in fifteen minutes so go down and wait for him at the reception."

You blinked a few times confused. Just a minute before she was almost crying and now she was sending you off. She seemed convinced that you're not going to betray her and in some way it hurt you. She was nice, maybe even too nice. She was actually the first person in a long time that was kind to you. It felt unfamiliar but pleasantly at the same time. It was hard to admit but deep down you knew that hurting her, would hurt you a bit too.

You took B/N's schedule from her and got into the elevator. Ride down was long, and you took that time to read the plan over and over again. Ten minutes later you had B/N's schedule memorized perfectly. Two hours of preparing, few hours of meeting and lastly dinner with guy called Lee. For a second you were disappointed, nothing in Anna's notes seemed like it could be something suspicious but then you thought of an opportunity to finally look into his office, and smile danced on your lips. For the past week, Anna was constantly around you, and even though B/N wasn't in his office, you had no chance to sneak there.

"So you're here," someone said in a deep, husky voice. You looked up and saw B/N in another perfectly tailored suit. His hair was pushed back, head tilted to the side and arms folded. He was looking at you, trying to appear disinterested but you noticed a gleam of interest in his eyes. It was the first time you saw him from this close and you had to admit – he was indeed hella attractive.

You raised one eyebrow. "I was supposed to be here? I don't know what's so weird about it."

"Well, I thought you will quit after like three days? Too many duties or something." He leaned in your direction so close that you felt his hot breath on your face. He smirked when you didn't flinch, and then reached his arm behind you, pressing the button to call the elevator. He looked you straight in to the eyes as if challenging you.

"Maybe you should stop thinking," you said with a fake smile, moving even closer to him. His smirk disappeared from his face, and he slightly squinted his eyes. He tried so hard to hide his shock but it was useless. He was about to say something when the elevator opened and a group of people got out of it. He stepped aside and greeted them back rather harshly. You walked inside quickly and looked at him. "Are you coming?"

He didn't answer and followed you, closing the door right in front of someone's face.

"You have a meeting at noon and then a dinner with Mr. Lee at 4pm. So, we have something around two hours to prepare for it. Anna left all the documents on your desk. She said you need to read it and decide if you agree with all the statements included there." You looked at B/N and caught him staring at you. "What? Is something unclear?"

"Your attitude," he said, now visibly stunned.

"Well, I'm probably not your typical assistant. Let's say that I'm kind of special."

He was confused. From the moment he saw your face, he was almost a hundred percent sure that you were only a pretty face. Your experience? Probably gained through bed, nothing more. But now you were explaining to him pros and cons of the transaction he was about to sign and you unexpectedly looked like you knew what you were talking about. And that situation in front of the elevator? None of the girls before you were this cheeky and confident. He was amazed and kinda mad. It made him feel smaller. No one ever mocked him like that, no one was brave enough to do it.

And then, there were you. Apparently not just a pretty face.

You put the papers down and stood up to move around a little bit. You were pissed. Almost two hours and nothing out of normal. Simple, legal contract with similar company. You were hoping to get a chance to look into other stuff inside B/N's office while he studied this deal, but apparently he was an idiot. Or maybe he wanted to test you. You didn't know, and didn't really care.

You sighed loudly and looked at the clock. "You should get up and go to the conference room, meeting's gonna start in ten minutes. I noted everything we talked about if you forget something." B/N glanced at you and nodded. You noticed that his tie was a little bit crooked so you moved in his direction and bent down to fix it. He looked at you confused. "Try to look professional," you mumbled, too focused on your task to register another man walking into the room.

You heard someone's clearing their throat. You looked up and saw Jiho with raised eyebrows.

"Am I disturbing you?"

"In what," you asked without thinking.

"I'm not sure, Y/N," he said, looking at you and then at B/N. You turned your head and met B/N's wide eyes just a few centimeters from yours.

"Oh this. I'm trying to fix his tie. Wait..." You let go of the silky material and folded your arms. "What were you thinking?"

"Nothing in particular."

"Jesus Christ, you both should stop thinking." Jiho tilted his head intrigued. "Don't worry about it. As regards the meeting, we looked at every damn point in these documents. I wrote notes beside the points that are questionable and should be discussed. Also, remember that you both have meeting with Mr. Lee at 4pm at restaurant called Rose-something. Doesn't really matter, your driver knows the address. Good luck, I will be with Anna, I guess," you said with a smile and left the room.

"What the fuck," Jiho asked confused.

"I have no idea." B/N was looking at the closed door amazed. He still felt hot where your fingers accidentally touched his skin. He tried to brush it off, but he couldn't deceive his own body. It was just a simple touch, and yet he felt it in his abdomen. "She's pissing me off, man. I thought she's another stupid girl but no. She's too confident, and she's challenging me. Me, for fuck's sake! Can you believe it?"

Jiho laughed. "Sounds familiar to me.”

“Don't fuck with me.”

“I wouldn't dare. But you need to watch out for her, you know that right?”

“Yeah, I do. She's gonna be a pain in the ass. She already irritates me, and I was with her for two hours.”

“I feel like it can be quite funny,” Jiho smirked, dodging a pen that B/N threw at him.

"Shut up. Mark my words Jiho, I'm gonna break her. I'm gonna make her life look like a fucking nightmare."

After B/N left his office with Jiho next to him, smile formed on your lips. And when Anna said she was going for lunch, you were practically jumping from happiness. Finally, you had a chance to sneak into B/N's office. You've waited for this whole week, week full of Kyo's nagging and screams.

Knowing that there were no cameras on this floor, you marched into your desired destination, whistling under your nose. You sat on B/N's chair, sighing deeply.

“What can you possible hide here, loser,” you mumbled, opening one of the drawers. You quickly searched through its content, checking if there was no secret compartment. You did the same with the rest of them, and to your disappointment, you found nothing. Every damn paper was useless, and definitely didn't contain anything illegal.

That was not what you were looking for.

Irritated, you left his office and wrote quick message to Kyo, informing him that you found nothing in B/N's stuff, and asking him if there was a different place to search.

The answer you received was not something you've expected.

His mind.

You lived through hell. Your life was a constant fight, either with memories or people around you. Until now, you thought that there was nothing more that could make you so stressed and tensed. And yet, there you were. Third week in your search and no result. Not even the smallest suspicious thing about B/N. You were done already, done with playing good little assistant, done with listening to Kyo's accusations and weird ideas, done with this whole fucked up situation.

That was why you made plans for the night. For the first time in a long time. You needed some relief, and you needed it fast.

This day seemed to be especially long, longer than usual. You were looking at papers that Anna gave you but you didn't absorb any of the information. You tried to focus, you did, but your mind was somewhere else. You were thinking of your date. You were so excited to leave the office and finally got laid that nothing else mattered. Mere fact that you found someone this fast - someone incredibly hot, by the way - was exciting. Those days you were like a slave: trapped in the company for long hours, following B/N like a shadow, and being at his beck and call. That was nothing like how you've imagined this job - you thought that after almost a month of working for him, you would have enough material to ruin him. Not really. It was almost like there was nothing to find on him. But then why would you be there, spying on him?

You glanced at your phone for the thousandth time to check the hour.

“You're really impatient today,” Anna blurted finally.

“Hm? Oh yeah, that's because I have plans.”

Anna leaned her head on interlocked fingers. “What kind of plans made you this worked up?”

“I might get finally laid tonight,” you answered with a smile.

“Well, that explain a lot,” she laughed. “Is he nice?”

“Nice is a bit of understatement.”

You were about to describe how hot the guy was when B/N stood in front of both of you. You didn't even notice when he left the elevator but as soon as you glanced at him, the grip on the pen you were holding tightened.

“I want you to do reports of my two last meetings, Y/N.”

“Okay, I will do them tomorrow,” you mumbled, not looking at him.

“No,” he hissed. “I want them on my desk tomorrow morning.”

You raised your gaze. “That's not... possible. I can't do this today. I have...”

“Do I look like I care? If I don't have them in the morning, you're fired,” he announced and left you in disbelief.

You hit your head on the desk with a groan.

“This fucker.”

The company was almost dead when you returned from the shop. You were horny, that was a fact but you wouldn't dare to risk your mission just because of this. You smiled sadly to the security guard and headed to your desk. When you plopped down on the chair, you took your phone out and wrote quick apology to the guy you were supposed to meet.

At the back of your head there was a thought that B/N did it on purpose. When you thought about that whole situation you could have sworn that he must have heard you, and decided to ruin your plans. He was that kind of man - he would probably do everything to ruin your mood. And maybe even your life. But was he so different from you? You were doing exactly the same.

You started reading the overview of one of the meetings when your phone rang. Without looking at the screen, you answered it. “Yes?”

“Y/N, nice to finally fucking hear you.”

“What do you want, Kyo,” you asked annoyed.

“And what I might want? Information, for fuck's sake. You didn't report me anything since last week.”

“Because there's nothing to report. Nothing's happening here. Or at least - nothing shady. It's so boring that I might throw up from boredom soon. Right now, I'm stuck with some fucking reports because B/N is a pain in the ass. You know where I was supposed to be? In a bed. With a dick inside me! Not in the office!” You were close to screaming. It was all Kyo's fault. All.

Bitterness welled up in you in a past few days and you couldn't deal with it anymore. You felt similar only once - when your mother killed herself and left you alone. You were lost, confused and lonely. You wandered around the town for days, hungry and cold, without any hope. And then Kyo found you. You ran away from him but eventually came back, he was the only one who offered you help. Oh, if only you knew back then how much his help cost. Sometimes you wished that you never met him. There wouldn't be any problems if you were dead.

But your relationship with him was never this bad. Since the day one he acted in a weird way, yelling at you every time he called you. He wasn't like this before. There was certainly something about this case that made him so mad, and you were ready to find out what was it.

“Oh, so you're doing reports. About what?” He ignored your outburst completely as if he didn't really care about your feelings. Maybe he didn't.

“About nothing. Stupid meetings he had yesterday.”

“And you didn't tell me about them. I send you a message and you ignored it.”

“That's because you're writing to me every day,” you shouted. “If I had anything interesting to tell you, I would call you. But I have nothing. Zero. I'm starting to think that this is some kind of sick game. This guy seems clean, Kyo. I can't find anything.”

“Maybe you fucked up,” he said.

Your grip on the phone tightened. “What the hell does it mean?”

“Exactly what you think. Maybe he knows that you're spying on him, maybe you're not this good.”

“Don't make me laugh, if that's the case, you're the one who should be blamed for this. After all, you were the one who created my life. If there's anything suspicious, that's on you,” you muttered through the clenched teeth. “You're pissing me off right now, so get lost.”

You were mad, bewildered and most importantly, disappointed. It wasn't like you could call Kyo your family, but he was close to you. You were ready to risk your miserable life for him, which you were basically doing, and it seemed that he didn't really care about you. He was nothing more than a burden to you right now. He turned into a completely different person, and that fact scared you.

When B/N entered the company, he was almost entirely sure that you didn't listen to him yesterday. He was ready to fire you. And he would do that with pleasure. He tried so many things, so many dirty tricks to discourage you, and no matter what, you stayed with him. Sometimes he thought that you might have been a masochist, you were okay with pretty much everything.

He got out of the elevator, and to his surprise, he saw you sleeping with your head on the desk.

“What is happening here,” he asked Anna as soon as he approached both of you.

“I found her like that. The security guard told me she spent whole night working.”

B/N looked at you stunned. Your hair was tangled, clothes wrinkled, and you still held pen in your hand. He wasn't prepared for that, he could have expected everything from you but not this. You were always dissatisfied with everything, you hated him, and he could have sworn that you wanted to quit this job. And yet, you obeyed him again, even if that meant interference in your personal life.

“Sent her to me when she wakes up,” he said, still looking at you.

He sat on his chair and closed his eyes. Feeling of annoyance washed over him. You irritated him, that was the truth, but he couldn't deny the fact that you turned him on. You were pretty, always dressed in tight pencil skirts, with cheeky smile on beautiful lips that he wanted to wipe off roughly. Even your attitude toward him was alluring. No other woman in his life made such snappy comments about him, no women resisted his person for so long. You were a true mystery for him, and with each passing day, he wanted to learn more and more about you.

If he thought about it, he was quite similar to you. You were both tied up by work, without a lot of free time to meet your needs. Idea of hooking up with you crossed his mind, but he dismissed it as fast as it appeared. He wasn't that crazy yet. He never slept with his subordinates, he never even thought about it, yet you made him this desperate. And he hated it.

Quiet knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

“Yes?”

“It's me,” you yawned, rubbing your eyes with a hand and smudging your mascara in the process. Somehow, it looked adorable for him. “I have those damn reports you wanted.” You put stack of papers on his desk and yawned once again.

“You were here all night?”

“And how does it look to you? Yep, I was. And I'm sore as hell, those chairs are really uncomfortable.”

“Go home,” he said without thinking. He blinked a few times, shocked at his own words.

You raised your gaze completely dumbfounded. “Are you trying to say that I'm fired? What the heck? I did what you asked, what are you...”

“That's not what I meant,” he stood up rapidly, suddenly scared that you could leave. “I just want you to go home and get some rest. That's all.” His voice became almost inaudible at the end of the sentence. He couldn't believe that he said that, normally he wasn't like this.

You were staring at him in silence, and he didn't know what to do. It was something new for him, he didn't act nicely on daily basis. Honestly, he didn't act nicely at all. Especially towards you.

“You want me to rest today?”

“Yeah, and you better get out of here before I change my mind.”

You leaned in his direction with curiosity in your eyes. “You sure you're not the one that should get some time off?”

“Y/N. Get. Out.”

“Okay, okay. Thanks... I guess.”

He watched you as you were leaving his office, and when the door closed behind you, he dropped down on his chair again.

He was crazy.

You made him crazy.

You weren't sure what happened but you gladly accepted B/N's offer. Not because you were tired - you handled far worse things - but because you needed some time to understand the situation you were in. Maybe if your mind wasn't filled with the memory of conversation with Kyo, you would have thought more about B/N's behavior. But that wasn't important for you now, you didn't care about him that much. He was just a pawn in Kyo's game.

You took your phone out and dialed first number on your contact list.

Almost immediately you heard man's voice. “What's up, sweety?”

“I'm on my way to you, Markus. You need to help me.”

“Sure, I'm waiting.”

When you entered a code to Markus' house, and stepped inside, scent of food filled your nose right away. You moved your body in the direction of his office where you found Markus, sitting in his usual spot - in front of two big computer screens.

“Hey bro,” you began, grabbing a slice of pizza from the table.

“Hey. Wait a moment, okay?”

“Mhm,” you mumbled with mouth full of dough. You dragged a stool from the corner and sat beside the man. He was furiously typing something on the keyboard, looking with squinted eyes at the green text on the screen. You've known him almost your whole life, watched so many times how he worked, yet you still didn't understand a thing. He tried to explain to you, step by step, how he hacks into people's files but it still didn't make any sense to you.

But it didn't really matter. You had your own ways to find information.

“Gotcha,” he laughed and turned to you. “So, what's going on?”

“Well,” you swallowed the last bit of pizza and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, “I need you to hack into Kyo's computer.”

In a flash he became serious. “What?”

You sighed deeply. “You know that I'm spying on B/N but the thing is, there's nothing on this guy. I can't find any proof that he's involved in any kind of illegal stuff. I even feel a bit bad about doing this, and that's something. In addition, Kyo's mad at me for everything. He wants me to report every damn thing about B/N. And I don't see any sense in this! Something's off, bro. I feel it and I want to know what is going on.”

“That's gonna be risky.”

“I know but... I can't... yeah, I feel like I can't trust Kyo anymore.”

You were late, and that made B/N furious. He was spinning in his chair, waiting for you to finally arrive. He gave you a day off, that was true, but it was only one day. He couldn't believe you had the nerve to test his patience like that. Maybe he was nice yesterday but that was a one-time situation. At least that was what he hoped for. He still didn't understand why he has acted like that. He didn't have soft heart, it wasn't the case. It was only a fleeting kindness. That's how he explained it to himself.

The door suddenly opened without a knock.

“Sorry for being late,” you squeaked when you entered his office. You tried to fix your skirt stealthily, but B/N didn't miss that small move.

“Why weren't you on time?”

“I was kinda busy last night,” you answered straight away.

His hand closed into a fist. “You were busy. With what?”

“That's not really your business.”

“Ha,” he scoffed. “Get on with the job already or I will kick you out.”

You blinked a few times, turned around without a word, and bumped into Jiho who was standing behind you. “Sorry,” you murmured and left the room, leaving the two men alone.

“You argued again.” It sounded more like a statement, not a question. Jiho sat on the chair across and took his jacket off. “What happened this time?”

B/N took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I've never met someone this insolent.”

Jiho laughed loudly. “Really? Because I did.”

“Don't push your luck, man. I'm not in the mood. I gave her day off to rest, right? But she came late today because she was “busy” last night. Busy, my ass. She was probably fucking some random dude.”

“You know, this counts as being busy.” B/N shoot him a glare full of rage, his jaw was clenched and hands clutched tightly on the armrests. “Why are you even this mad? It's not like she's yours or anything. She's just your assistant, not your wife, she can do whatever she wants.”

B/N frowned. Jiho was right - you were nothing more than his subordinate, yet the thought of you with another man made his blood boil. He wasn't sure why, it wasn't like he felt anything to you. Besides sexual attraction - he couldn't deny this. Was it because he was possessive? Maybe. Or maybe he just didn't understand his own feelings.

Another sigh left his mouth. “I need to give her a lesson.”

“Geez, B/N, what lesson? Let the girl fuck whoever she wants. It's none of your business. And by the way, maybe you should focus more on today's banquet.” Sly smile appeared on B/N's lips when a wild idea crossed his mind. “What now?”

“That's not a bad advice,” he said, grinning. Jiho looked at him puzzled. “Maybe she should go with me.”

“And why is that?”

“Oh you know, Sheng will be there. If she's so thirsty for a dick, she will love his company.” He wasn't paying attention to Jiho anymore, he was too focused on searching for the most expensive dress shops in the area. He knew where to find clothes for himself, but he had never bought anything for a woman. There was simply no occasion for this and the fact that he needed to do this in that time was ridiculous for him.

Jiho groaned disgusted. “He's a fucking creep man, you really hate her this much?”

“I don't hate her, she annoys the fuck out of me. There's a difference.”

“Don't you think it's a little too much? She's hot, he will be all over her all the time.”

B/N looked up from his phone. Was it too much? He wanted to annoy you, nothing more. In his twisted mind, he was convinced you deserved a lesson.

“Come on, Sheng is not that stupid, he will just spit some gross jokes and that's all.”

“I wouldn't be so sure about this. No matter what, keep an eye on her. Just in case.”

B/N scoffed. “Now you're talking?”

“I may not trust her but I don't wish her anything bad.”

“You're coming with me today,” B/N announced when he entered his office after the meeting.

You turned around and asked confused, “What?”

“I said...”

“I know what you said but I don't understand why you want me to accompany you at that banquet.”

“Well, maybe because you're my assistant?” He sat on his chair and looked at you from head to toe. “We need better clothes for you.”

“Excuse me, but what's wrong with the one I have now?”

He didn't answer you but instead he pushed button on his phone and after one signal he directed Anna to prepare car for him. He stood up and headed to the door.

“Follow me.”

The ride was unpleasantly silent. You sat beside him, nibbling on your nail. Changes in his attitude confused the hell out of you. He was mad, you were sure about this, but the reason why was a mystery for you. It was like a world was laughing at you - you had your own problems, there was no need for another one. And yet it arrived. Your life wasn't easy even once but the events of past weeks tested your patience like nothing ever.

The car stopped in front of a huge building and B/N got out of it, without looking at you. You followed him, and shyly entered the luxurious shop.

There weren't a lot of things that made you uncomfortable, but this was definitely one of them. Quick look at the nearest price tag made you flinch instantly. You've never experienced wealthy life, it was unattainable for you from your first day at this world. And to tell the truth, you despised rich people. You have quite a few encounters with them in the past and all of them were sleazy, full of themselves and thought that if they had money, they had everything. You couldn't really find any bigger joy in money, and you didn't understand how some could.

“Do we really have to be here,” you mumbled finally, rubbing your shoulders.

B/N turned around and looked at you. Confusion in his eyes was too noticeable. You felt bad that you showed him this side of you but you couldn't fight embarrassment that washed over you. You felt out of place, almost like an alien. You lowered your gaze.

“What's wrong with you now,” he asked, coming closer to you.

“I... I just don't like places like this,” you stammered.

He was silent for a few seconds but then your annoying boss came back. “Do I look like I care?”

B/N's head was spinning with excess thoughts. He was looking at all the dresses around him, but he didn't really see them. From time to time, he glanced at you, standing awkwardly in the corner, and he couldn't believe it was you. This cheeky, confident girl was gone just because of some expensive clothes. It was unbelievable for him. Was there a reason behind your embarrassment? Did something happen to you before? Much to his annoyance, those questions didn't want to leave his head. He wanted so badly to know why your attitude changed so drastically.

However, the fact that he thought about canceling his plan was even more unthinkable. When he looked at you, so vulnerable, he almost felt sick of his twisted mind. He didn't know why but at that moment he felt the urge to hug you. He had to stop himself from doing something stupid, so instead he focused his mind on why he brought you here.

Suddenly something caught his gaze. There it was - a perfect dress. He moved closer to the rack and touched red silky material. The dress was backless, with a really thin straps and quite a huge low-cut. Just the thought of you in it made him hot. His hand twitched when he reached for it.

“Try this one,” he said, handing you the beautiful piece. You took it from him with a grimace of dissatisfaction and disappeared in a fitting room. He sat on a sofa across the mirror and fixed the collar of his shirt.

When you stood in front of him again, his breath got stuck in his throat. It was a lot more than he imagined. Thin fabric hugged you perfectly, highlighting all your curves insanely. Your breasts were exposed a little too much, but he was too mesmerized to complain. You looked... gorgeous. And even this description wasn't enough. Red was definitely your color, and he wished there was a possibility to see you in this more often.

“Turn around.” His voice was hoarse, but he didn't care if you noticed. You obeyed him without a word and that only aroused him even more. The cut on your back was so low that he was able to see the hem of your lacy undies. Sweat started to form on his forehead, he felt extremely hot and it bothered him. It never happened to him, he never felt so horny just by looking at a woman in a revealing dress. He put hand on his thigh, discreetly trying to adjust his hardening dick. “We will take this one,” he said, when the worker approached you.

“Isn't it too much,” you asked, averting his gaze.

“No.” It was his only answer. There wasn't other option for him, he wanted you to wear that dress regularly. And preferably, only for him. He didn't know how to persuade you to do this, but he was desperate to make it happen.

Sitting beside you, dressed in that sexy piece, in the car was the hardest thing he ever endured in his whole life. He wanted to touch you, feel your hot skin under his fingertips, made you moan for him. He kept his eyes on you, observing your every little move - how your chest raised and fell with each breath, how your legs moved in an attempt to sit more comfortable, how you brushed your hair out of your sight. He couldn't stop himself. His mind was flooding him with different imagines of how would you look and sound when he dicked you down.

You turned your head slightly and glanced at him annoyed. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“So why are you staring at me all the fucking time? Are you regretting taking me with you?”

“Why would I?”

You lowered your gaze and raised an eyebrow a little. “I not sure but I guess it will be quite uncomfortable for you to wander around people with an erection, don't you think?” He took a quick peek at his dick and cursed. So it was visible. He felt the tightness in this area, but he didn't think that it was so prominent. He tried to fix his pants but without success. “Maybe I should help you,” you offered, moving closer to him. He tensed instantly, watching how you put your hand on his thigh dangerously close his boner. “Should I?”

He studied your face for a moment. He wasn't sure if you were serious or not, your expression was emotionless. Did he want it? Oh, he did, but he didn't want to give in to your seduction. He wanted to show you that he was stronger than he appeared at that moment, even though it wasn't true.

He was about to decline your offer when your fingers brushed his clothed dick. He hissed unintentionally.

You burst into laughter. “You wish.”

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you so close that he felt your breath on his face. “You're gonna regret this. Don't fucking play with me, kitten.” Your eyes winded in shock but you didn't move. You stayed like this for a few seconds before he pushed you and got out of the car. He furiously tugged at his pants and covered his crotch area with jacket. “Come,” he snapped through clenched teeth when you joined him. He put his hand on your lower back and guided you inside the luxury restaurant.

He was done playing your little game, it was time for his plan. He couldn't take your presence any longer. You challenged him once again, but this time it was too much for him. He was boiling with anger when he scanned the crowd, looking for Sheng. When he noticed him, he nodded and moved in his direction.

As soon as the man spotted you, his eyes filled with lust. “Hello B/N. And hello to you, gorgeous. Who is it?”

“This is Y/N, my assistant,” he answered with a fake smile.

“Nice choice, man. I bet she's quite useful.” B/N wanted to throw up. He hated this guy to the core. He loathed every aspect of Sheng's being, he was disgusted by his every word. But there was one thing he hated even more at this moment, and it was your attitude.

“Can you keep her company for a second? I need to talk to someone real quick.” B/N didn't wait for any response. He moved his body as far away from you as possible. Fend for yourself, you little bitch.

He lost sight of you long ago but it didn't bother him that much. Somewhere at the back of his head he was hearing Jiho's voice over and over again, but he tried to ignore it. He took a small sip of his champagne, pleased with the company of a girl, whose name he already forgot. She wasn't as pretty as you, but at least she was simpler. A few sweet words, and he had her wrapped around his finger. It was so easy - she was obedient, horny and willing to fuck. That was all he really needed. And that was exactly how it should have been.

She touched his arm and whispered something, but he didn't hear her. His attention switched from her to the conversation of two men behind him.

“This guy's disgusting. You saw how much he drooled over that poor girl? I hope she escaped from him.”

“I don't think she did, I saw him following her with that creepy smile.”

B/N instantly pushed the girl and shoved through the crowd. He was sure they were talking about you and he felt rage spreading all over his body. He was furious - not only at Sheng but also at himself. Why was he so stubborn? He knowingly left you in creep's hands just because you made him mad. He was so stupid... After all, it wasn't only your fault.

If anything happened to you, he would have blamed himself for this for the rest of his life.

When he was close to the restroom area he heard your voice - mix of annoyance and a bit of fear.

“I told you to leave me alone, for fuck's sake.”

B/N's moves became faster, he was ready to rip Sheng's head off.

“Oh come on, sweetheart. Let's play a little bit.”

His hand closed into a fist.

“Get your fucking dirty hands off of me!”

His fist met the side of Sheng's head with so much power that he himself hissed from pain. Sheng flew on the floor with a groan.

B/N glanced at you with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah... I... I'm fine,” you assured, stunned.

B/N looked at the motionless body on the ground. “Geez, this piece of shit pisses me off. Come, I'm gonna drop you home.”

You followed B/N to his car absolutely confused. Firstly, he left you with some fucked up idiot, and then he appeared out of nowhere and knocked the guy down. Changes of his character were so drastic that you started to question his sanity. Was he normally like that? You tried to remember how he acted when you met him for the first time. He was distant, extremely cold and harsh. But something definitely changed. He became... more protective, in a twisted way.

But the thing that shocked you the most was the fact that he didn't try to hide that you turned him on anymore. You noticed a few times that he had a hard-on when you were around but today he didn't even try to brush it off, like he always did. Maybe he was even willing to take your offer seriously. He always seemed like he had full control of himself, yet he lost his composure a few times because of you.

Maybe Kyo was right, maybe B/N wasn't as tough as he wished to be seen as.

“We arrived already, you know,” he laughed suddenly. You turned your head rapidly. It was the first time you heard his laugh and you must have admitted - it was a beautiful sound. You wished he would do that more often.

You studied his face for a second, when you noticed a bit of blood on his cheek. You looked down. “You've injured yourself,” you said, grabbing his hand. He took a sharp breath when you touched his knuckles. “Come upstairs, I will clean this.”

“There's no need.” He tried to free himself but you pushed your fingers onto his wound. He hissed from pain.

“Upstairs, I said.”

He was sitting on the edge of your bathtub with rolled sleeves, while you were looking for something to disinfect his hand with. It was like he was in some kind of trance, admiring your every move with squinted eyes. He felt things he never felt and couldn't even name.

“Ha, found you, you fucker,” you squeaked, grabbing a little bottle from the drawer. He laughed. You looked like a small child after they unwrapped a present. So innocent. You looked at him amazed. “I... it will hurt a bit.”

He nodded, his eyes still on you. You came closer and knelt down, taking his hand in yours. He stopped breathing, not because of the pain, but because of your position. His mind got flooded with inappropriate images, and his mouth became dry suddenly.

Your gaze was focused on his fingers, skin hotter than he had imagined. He felt completely defeated. “Done. I can't put a band aid on it so...” you started but stopped in the middle of the sentence when your eyes met his. He noticed how your cheeks reddened, and how you bit on your lower lip. He wanted nothing more than to lower his head and kiss you. He wanted to be the one to abuse your lips. He moved slightly, but you stood up before he even had a chance to feel your breath on his face. “You should go now, B/N.”

Your mind was one big mess. Memory of yesterday's situation inside your bathroom was as fresh as if it happened minutes ago. You remembered very clearly the look in his eyes, and you were sure yours was the same, you remembered the heat of his skin on yours, his breath fanning your face. You couldn't deny it anymore, you desired him. And it was more than clear that he wanted you, too. And that was a huge problem.

However, the biggest problem was that you invited B/N into your house in the first place. His injury wasn't even close to things you saw before, shit, it was almost non-existent, and yet you couldn't leave him like that. Maybe you had a soft heart after all.

Now you were sitting on the bed with your phone in the hand, hesitant about what you were planning to do.

You started this job to ruin him, to turn his luxurious life into a horror, and probably close him behind the bars, not to actually fell for his charms. You were supposed to be his nightmare. Nothing more. But he made you feel things you didn't feel for a long time. For the first time in years, or maybe even in your whole life, you started to desire not only man's body but also his attention and... heart.

The worst thing was that you didn't understand why you wanted him so badly. He did quite a few things that would probably scare any sane person away. But he had something in him that pulled you so hard that you were ready to let those words and actions slide away. He was almost impossible to resist. He was constantly in your head, your mind provided you scenarios that were rather scary. You couldn't allow yourself to fall in love with him, that was not an option, and you needed to remember that.

With that in mind, you dialed Anna's number. That was the best thing to do for now. “Hey Anna, um- I... I need a day off. Can you pass it to B/N,” you said when she answered finally. You felt bad giving her that task. She would definitely get yelled at, but you couldn't do it yourself. The sound of B/N's voice would change your mind, you were painfully aware of that.

“Something happened? You don't sound good.”

“Well no... I mean, yes... kind of?”

“What's going on, Y/N?”

“I just... I don't feel well, you know? Please, just tell him I won't come today.”

“He won't be pleased with it. Since the early morning, he was nagging me to sent you to him as soon as you come to the office. He wanted to talk about something important or... I don't know. He was pretty weird. But I can't, and I don't want to force you to anything.”

“Thank you. I will see you tomorrow?” It wasn't really a statement. You weren't sure if you would come or not. You needed space and time to think about everything, and his presence wasn't helping at all.

Even though, you didn't trust Kyo anymore, it wasn't like you were going to ditch your mission. You wanted to know what B/N possibly hid and why Kyo so desperately wanted those information. Or, if there was really nothing on B/N, you wanted to find out who and why was trying to end him. You just needed to come up with different, smarter plan. Maybe getting closer to him wasn't the worst idea, you would get to know not only his secrets but his body and time would be at your disposal.

And that, wouldn't be too bad.

But what would happen later? You would disappear into thin air, without any explanation, without anything really, but all feelings and memories would stay with you for the rest of your life. Were few weeks or months with him worth remembering them till your last days? Were you ready for such sacrifice?

Your phone suddenly started buzzing, interrupting your thoughts. Without looking at the screen, you picked it up.

“Yes?”

“Y/N, what's going on?” B/N's voice was laced with worry.

Your grip on the phone tightened. “I'm not in the best state. I need to rest a bit,” you answered quietly. His call was the last thing you needed right now. You could have imagined him, sitting in his chair with slightly messy hair and raised eyebrows. He was probably in another perfectly tailored suit that made him look so tempting. You shook your head, trying to focus on something else. To focus on anything beside him.

“Is it because of what happened yesterday?” Now he sounded even gentler. He was obviously worried, making your heart skip a beat. You wanted to feel his arms around you so badly now.

“No, absolutely not,” you answered. No matter what you couldn't let him know that that situation affected you in any way. He shouldn't know how much power he had over you.

He sighed. “I'm sorry that I left you alone at that damn party. It was stupid. If you want, if it will make you feel better, I can turn Sheng's life into a real hell.”

“What? No, I already forgot about that. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time that something like this happened to me.” You bit your tongue immediately after the last sentence left your mouth. You said that without thinking, without even realizing what you just did. Opening up to him was the worst thing you could have done. “Forget I said that. I don't know why I did it.”

“What do you mean forget it? You were sexually assaulted before? What the fuck,” he raised his voice shocked. “Why are you so chill about it?” You could almost see how he straightened in his chair, how his muscle tensed.

“B/N, it was long ago and... well, I don't need to explain it to you.”

“Are you kidding me? You know how much power I have, I can make anyone pay for what they did, I can...”

“Stop it. I don't even remember who those people were. Plus, why would you do this? Why do you care?”

“Because...fuck.” He sounded annoyed and angry. It was kind of... sweet that he cared about you so much, even if he didn't want to admit to it. “If you don't want, then okay. But if it's not because of Sheng, why can't you come today? Is it about what happened later?”

Your heart sped up. “No. Why are you so stubborn? I want to rest, that's it. Can't you understand that? Just go with your day and leave me alone for some time.” You ended the call angrily, throwing the phone on the bed.

Why? Why the fuck he started to care about you? He was making everything so hard. Something changed... he changed. You didn't give him any reason to like you, let alone to be so concerned about you. You were a pain in the ass, to say the least. So why he suddenly became so worried about you?

You sneaked into Markus' house and took your shoes off. “Bro, are you here?”

“Yeah. Take a bottle of water from kitchen with you.”

You entered the small room and stopped in your track. The inside was so messy that you couldn't put your foot anywhere. Markus was always busy but that couldn't be excused. Empty bottles of water, dirty paper plates and pizza boxes were scattered around everywhere. How could he live like that?

“Hey, can you be a little bit cleaner? It's not that hard to take out the trash, you know,” you yelled, kicking your way to the other side of kitchen.

“I'm kinda busy, Y/N. And that's your fault, by the way. If you want, you can clean it up.”

“Sure and what else,” you mocked, annoyed. The truth was that you would probably do it anyway. It wouldn't be the first time. Besides, he had a point. He was doing research for you without anything in return and you could do at least that for him. In fact, cleaning his house was like a currency in your friendship – he was looking for things for you, and in return you were making his place fit for living.

You took a full bottle from the floor and headed to Markus' office. “Here.”

“Thanks.”

You sat on a stool and looked at one of the screens. “How's work?”

He sighed, leaning in the chair. “Not as good as I would like to. Kyo is not stupid, I knew that, but it seems that his little pet Sammy is actually a lot smarter than I thought. He did pretty good job, Kyo's files are strongly secured and I need a lot more time to break those algorithms.”

“Can I help you somehow?”

“Not with this, we both know you have no idea what I'm doing here,” he laughed. “But you can cook something. I haven't eaten anything besides pizza for... a week?”

“Jesus, didn't I tell you to stop with all this unhealthy food?”

“Quit nagging, you're not my mother,” he said with a cheeky smile. You hit his head playfully and got up.

Cooking with what Markus had in his fridge wasn't an easy task but you finally managed to do something edible. You also cleaned his whole house and pleased with results, you came back to him. He quickly digged into the food with content sigh.

You took a better look at him. He was slimmer than before, and dark circles reached nearly to half of his cheeks. He was spending definitely too much time on this. You felt terrible because of this. He was ready to do anything to help you, even if that meant not taking care of himself.

Markus glanced at you, and opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by your ringing phone. You looked at the screen and declined the call immediately.

“Who was that?”

“B/N. I really don't want to talk to him right now.”

“Anything happened?”

“Actually, yes. You could say that we had a moment yesterday.” Markus choked and looked at you suspiciously. “Not in a way that you think. In short, he took me to a business party where some dude stuck to me for the whole night. Mind you, he was disgusting, and B/N left me with him all alone. But then he hit him, injured his hand because of it, I invited him to my house to take care of it and... I don't know, the atmosphere... It was pretty intense. And today he's calling me nonstop because I took day off.”

“You didn't want to be around him.”

“Yeah. I'm fucked, man. I'm so confused, I don't know what I'm feeling. On the one hand, I want to be close to him but on the other, I want to avoid him as much as I can. What am I suppose to do?”

Your phone buzzed again. Annoyed, you looked at the screen and rolled your eyes. Wasn't he tired of calling? What did he even want from you at this point?

“Answer it, maybe it's something important,” Markus said with troubled expression.

You hesitated for a moment but finally picked it up. “B/N, can you stop already?” The other end of the line was silent. You could only heard his fast, erratic breath and some weird slow music. “B/N?”

“What are you doing to me, Y/N? Why am I doing things I wouldn't normally do?”

You looked at Markus with confusion written all over your face. “Are you drunk?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

“Where are you?” You stood up, ready to pick him up. He definitely had too much alcohol. You knew he could drink a lot, he was good at it. But if he brought himself to such state, it meant that he crossed his limit.

And it seemed like it was your fault.

He laughed loudly. “What? Are you gonna come and save me? Why should I explain myself to you if you didn't want to do the same?”

“B/N, where the fuck are you?”

“Find me.”

And with that he ended the call. You tried to reach him a few more times, but he ignored you. You groaned. “Markus, can you track him?”

Half hour later you entered richly looking bar. It was full of man in suits and girls with few or none clothes on. You were in places like this before, and every time was like a torture for you. They were all the same, the same pits of despair for wealthy, horny men.

You searched the inside with a glance, wanting nothing more than to leave as quickly as possible, and noticed B/N at the corner. On the table, he was sitting by, stood around four empty bottles and girl in dress shorter than you ever saw, was kissing B/N's neck. He wasn't even looking at her, visibly unsatisfied with her company.

But you merely noticed it. You clenched your hands in to fists, ready to hit someone. Anyone really. The fact that she had her arms wrapped around him made you boil with anger.

You moved into his direction, and as soon as you reached him, you dragged the girl from him. “Out,” you commanded with anger in voice. B/N looked at you puzzled. His eyes were glossy, and skin pinkish. He was drunker than you expected.

“Find yourself someone else, girl,” she said, trying to push you away.

You grabbed her wrist and spun her around. “I said, get the fuck out of here. Your pretty little face won't be this pretty anymore if you don't listen to me. I won't repeat myself,” you gritted through clenched teeth. She broke out of your grip and with mad expression on her face, she left. You turned around and crossed your arms. B/N was looking at you amazed. “Get up, we are leaving.”

“How did you find me,” he stammered.

“You want me to drag you from here? Because I definitely can. Move your ass, you drunkard.” Without looking behind you, you headed to the door.

When you sat in your car, your hands gripped the wheel madly. What was he even doing? Was he really this upset with you? He was acting like a teenager, not like a well-known CEO, and it made you question everything you learned about him up to now.

He joined you second later and obediently fastened his seat belt. You glanced at him and noticed how carefully he was watching you. He probably didn't expect you to come this fast. Hell, he probably didn't expect you to come at all.

During the whole way to his apartment neither of you said anything. Few times he opened his mouth as if to say something, but he closed them as soon as he looked at you. You wanted to scream at him, to make him understand how dumb were his actions. He couldn't be this stupid. Drinking almost till he lost consciousness, fooling around with a random girl. It wasn't what prosperous businessman should do on weekdays.

You stopped your car in the parking lot of his apartment's complex and turned the engine off. You looked at him with daggers in your eyes.

“Get out and sleep it off,” you gritted through your teeth, but he didn't even flinch.

“Can you come with me?”

You blinked a few times, amused with his bluntness. “What?”

“I... I don't think I can make it alone. The whole world is spinning.”

You sighed, exhausted. Going into his house wasn't your dream right now. You were extremely mad at him, but still some part of you cared for him too much to leave him alone now. Again...

You knew it was a bad idea however, you got out of your car and help him stand on his feet. He staggered and your arm instinctively wrapped around him. He was close, too close. You felt his hot, stinking of alcohol breath on your cheek. Your whole body tensed.

You dragged him to an elevator and pushed him inside. He stumbled, losing the last bits of balance he had in him. He leaned forward, crushing you between him and a cold metal surface. His hands grabbed your hips in an attempt to steady himself. You sucked the breath harshly. Your skin burnt like crazy and your head was spinning with the feeling of B/N's proximity.

You put your hands on his torso and pushed him lightly. “B/N move, I need to select the floor.” His grip on you tightened. Without looking at a panel, he pushed one of the buttons with his elbow and put his head on your shoulder. You held your breath startled. His lips were dangerously close to your neck, and you stupidly wished he would put them on you. “What are you doing?”

“I'm not sure,” he laughed. His breath tickled your skin, sending shivers down your spine. “I just want you closer.”

“You're drunk, you're talking crazy.”

“Maybe. But it feels nice.” Your heart was racing. It felt nice, but it was so wrong at the same time.

When his mouth touched your sensitive skin, the door opened and you left the lift as fast as you could. B/N lurched forward and groaned dissatisfied.

“Keys,” you ordered, extending your arm.

He smirked, coming closer to you. “I have them in the pocket of my jeans. I can't pull them out.”

You looked at him annoyed and grabbed him by the belt. You pushed your hand into his front pocket and mentally slap yourself in an attempt to slow your heart down. His pants were extremely tight and you had problems with moving your fingers. You felt B/N's eyes on you, observing your every move with heavy breath. When you finally grabbed the keys and pulled your hand out, you accidentally brushed against B/N's hardening dick. He moaned shamelessly. Your whole body tensed again, and you needed to take a deep breath to calm yourself. With reddening cheeks you turned around and opened the door to his apartment, trying to ignore how much you wanted to jump him.

His apartment was bigger than you expected. It was filled with modern and richly looking furniture, everything was neat and clean, and it smelled like a mix of B/N's perfume and the man himself. Now, even breathing was hard.

You glanced over your shoulder. “You're inside, so I will go now.”

B/N blocked your way. “Can you stay a little longer,” he pleaded.

“For what?”

“Just stay for ten fucking minutes, can't you do this? Is someone waiting for you?”

You sighed and headed to the kitchen. You grabbed a glass, filled it with water and went to his bedroom, expecting him to follow you. You set the glass on the table beside the huge bed, leaned against it and looked at B/N. He was struggling with buttons of his suit, and with roll of your eyes, you came closer to him. You pushed his hands away and helped him took it off. You hesitated for a moment but finally removed his shirt too. His body was deliciously fit and lightly tanned. Every muscle was highly visible and tempting. You wanted to trace your hands over his skin, find every mark on it, and kiss every centimeter of him. But you needed to be the responsible one.

B/N's fingers closed around your wrist. “I kinda like it.”

“Stop it. Take your pants off and go to the bed.”

“Oh and it's getting better.”

You shook your head and stepped aside. You took a look around his bedroom. It was frighteningly empty, no photos, no decorations, nothing. It looked exactly like your room. From what you've heard, he wasn't close with his family, so the reason behind this emptiness was also similar. Maybe he resembled you more than you initially thought.

You heard the squeak of his bed, so you turned to him.

“Can I go now?”

“Jesus Christ, why are you in such a hurry?”

“Okay, okay, fine,” you groaned and sat on the floor beside the nightstand. B/N rolled on his side and set his eyes on you. “If you don't want me to go, maybe instead you want to tell me why did you drink so much?”

He was silent for a few minutes before he answered slowly, “You pissed me off this morning and... I don't know, I was mad at you... at me, and it kinda just happened.”

“And why would you be mad at me? I wanted one day off. One day.”

“You didn't want to tell me what was going on, and I was... worried. Don't look at me like that, I know it sounds weird, but I can't really explain it.”

You traced your fingers on his arm without thinking. His words pulled at the strings in your heart that you didn't even know existed. He could act as if he had no emotions, but his drunk self was brutally honest, telling you things you were scared to hear. The truth was that even if he didn't want to admit it, or maybe he didn't understand it yet, he was falling for you.

And that scared the hell out of you because you started to feel the same.

You never really experienced something like this. It was so new to you. Caring about someone that way, wanting to be with them and receiving the same from that person was nice. But deep down you couldn't convince yourself that love was something for you. No one ever loved you, and until now, you were sure that that was how it should have been. Was it even useful to change it now?

You opened your mouth to say that you really need to leave but you closed them when you noticed that B/N fell asleep already. His breath was slow and rhythmic, lips slightly parted, hair covered his closed eyes and fingers laced together with yours. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful.

You moved closer and traced your digits over his face. “What are we going to do now, B/N?”

You took his keys, hoping he would think he left them somewhere and headed to the security guard situated by the entrance of the building.

“Hey, I'm Y/N. I'm B/N's assistant. Can you please do something for me?”

The old man looked at you with a friendly smile. “How can I help you, miss?”

“Can you check on B/N tomorrow morning? He drank too much and I'm kind of scared that something may happen to him in sleep. I know I shouldn't leave him alone but I can't really stay here. I would be so grateful.”

“It's gonna be weird, but sure. What should I say to him?”

“Whatever you want. But don't mention I was here, please.”

You got in the car and leaned your head on the steering wheel, defeated.

Annoying sound of doorbell woke B/N up. He opened his eyes carefully but closed them as soon as the sunlight blinded him. His head was heavy and it throbbed with pain. Everything was too bright and too loud. He wasn't sure where he was but quick check of his surroundings told him he was in his own bed.

How the hell he ended up here?

He couldn't remember single thing from yesterday. All he knew was that he got mad at you and went to drink. Everything that happened later was a mystery for him. Did he do anything weird? Did he hook up with someone? Who brought him here?

The doorbell rang again. He stood up with a groan and noticed a glass of water on the bedside. Did he put it here? He downed it and headed to the door.

He was confused. No one ever visited him... besides girls he invited himself. Was it one of them? “Coming,” he yelled when the sound of bell filled his ears one more time. He wanted to throw up because of it. Every step required a lot more strength than normally.

“Good morning, sir. Sorry for interrupting you so early but I wanted to tell you that there's been a suspicious man who sniffed around our building, so you should be careful,” said the older man. From what B/N remembered he was one of the security guards. He had no idea what was his name, not that it was important for him.

“Okay, I will remember this.” He was about to close the door, when he thought about something. “Hey, you were here all night?”

“Yes, why are you asking?”

“Do you perhaps know how I got here,” he asked with hope.

The man tensed and scratched his head, averting B/N's gaze. “Well...”

“Yes,” B/N insisted, looking at the man suspiciously.

“Well... some girl brought you here.”

“And what did she look like?”

“I don't remember clearly, sorry.”

B/N sighed. “That's fine, thanks.” He closed the door and leaned on them. So he was with a girl yesterday. Who was it? Why didn't she stayed with him? He had some bits of memories, memories of someone undressing him, but it was so faint that he couldn't tell if those were real or if it was just a dream.

What really happened last night?

And why, for fuck's sake, he was this horny from the early morning?

He came back to his room and grabbed his phone. The thing he was about to do... he wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but he needed some relief. And he needed it as fast as possible.

With a weird feeling, something too similar to betrayal, he called Anna.

You entered the office extremely late. You didn't know what to expect. Was B/N already there? Was he okay? Did he remember anything from yesterday? You yourself couldn't sleep at all. Your mind was full of thoughts about him and the situation you were in. You were scared of your own feelings, and didn't know what to do with all of this anymore.

You said hello to Anna and headed to B/N's office.

“He's not there,” Anna informed you.

You turned around to look at her, suddenly worried. “Something happened?”

“I don't think so. He called me earlier and said that he will be out today because he has a remarkably important thing to do. For me, it was bullshit. Yesterday he was worse than normally, and he got out of the office pretty quickly, so I assume that he drank too much. Nothing to worry about.”

He was fine and that was the only thing that mattered to you.

You looked at the clock on your phone. Fifteen more minutes and you would be free. It was so boring without B/N, the only thing you did was stroll around the company aimlessly and talked with people about nothing important. You tried to keep your mind occupied with things other than B/N but it was hard. What was he doing? What was that thing he needed to do? You thought whether you should call him or not but finally decided not to. There wasn't really a need and you didn't want to look like you were worried about him.

You slowly got up from your chair and gathered all your belongings.

“I'm gonna go, Anna. I'm bored and there is no reason for me to be here any longer,” you said.

“Okay. I will see you tomorrow,” she answered without looking at you. You were about to step into the elevator when she yelled, “Y/N! You picked up B/N's suit from tailor, right?”

You spun on your heel with fear in your eyes, “Holy shit. He's gonna kill me.”

“He probably will. Here,” Anna threw a key in your direction. You caught it with confusion written all over your face. “It's a spare key to his apartment. Just in case.”

You thanked her, even though you didn't really need it, and rushed into the elevator. You hit the button with fist and leaned your head on the cold surface of the huge mirror inside. After all the things that happened you actually forgot about your duties as the assistant. Maybe he was nicer to you, but he definitely still cared about his job and appearance. He never showed up at meetings in the same clothes. The change in his feelings towards you wouldn't really matter in that case.

The ride was rather short and you were extremely glad for it. You parked on the pavement, jumped out of your car and sped to the luxury store. Middle-aged woman behind a counter looked at you suspiciously. You tried to catch your breath before standing straight.

“Hello, I'm here to pick Mr. B/L/N suit.”

“Oh, right.” Her voice was moderately calm but you picked trace of irritation in it. “I was waiting the whole day, miss.”

“I'm so sorry, it was such a busy day at work. I couldn't make it earlier,” you lied.

Woman eyed you up and down and her eyes softened a little bit. “It's okay, I understand. It's probably hard to work for such demanding young man,” she laughed.

“Only sometimes,” you smiled softly, taking a bag with suit from her. “Thank you so much and once again, I'm really sorry for the inconvenience. Goodbye.”

You left the store and rolled eyes. Hard? That's a huge understatement.

You hanged the suit over your arm and moved towards B/N's apartment. It wasn't far from the shop and some walk seemed like a good idea to clear your head a bit. You prayed under your nose that the thing he needed to do involved going out, and he wouldn't be at home because that would probably mean scolding.

You sighed. You weren't sure if you were ready to meet him after previous night. You were scared but on the other hand, you wished he would be at home. It was still hard to admit it but you really missed his face, his voice, the way he looked at you.

You approached his building complex and said hello to a different security guard this time. He bowed his head and let you in after you introduced yourself. You pulled out keys and slowly opened the door. The inside was peaceful and quiet. You exhaled. He was out. You kicked your shoes off, put your bag on the table in the kitchen and headed into his bedroom.

You definitely weren't ready for what you saw.

B/N was lying in his bed... with a girl between his legs. She was sucking him off with the most unpleasant sound you ever heard. You were sure she didn't know what she was doing. And his face confirmed your assumptions - he covered his eyes with hand but you saw his bored expression.

You were shocked, to say the least. So, that was the thing he needed to take care off. Remarkably important thing. Fucking jerk. And you were worried about him all day. For no reason. You should have known better. All those changes in him? Those sincere words from yesterday? It was a bullshit. He didn't change at all, he didn't care about you. And you fell for that.

Feeling of betrayal clamped around your heart. If anything started to bloom between the two of you, now it was gone. Like everything else in your life.

You pulled yourself together and cleared your throat, “B/N?”

His eyes snapped open and he looked directly at you. The girl raised her head with drool all over her chin unmoved. You chuckled, scanning his body slowly and staring a little too long at his thick half hard cock. It was pathetic. She was terrible, and she didn't even care. The thought of you on her place crossed your mind and you blinked shocked. It wasn't the time for thoughts like this.

“What are you doing here?” B/N asked with guilt in his eyes. Quit acting, you fucker.

You glanced at him with fake smile, “I brought you your suit. Sorry for the delay.”

“That's okay. Hang it in the wardrobe.”

“Sure thing.”

As soon as you stepped into the closet, you heard his moans. You stopped abruptly and took a sharp breath. What the fuck, B/N? Just a few seconds ago you were bored and now she suddenly knows how to make you feel this good? Sounds he was producing made you clenched your shaky thighs together, your core burned more and more with every moan that left his lips. You shut your eyes and tried to calm your racing heart and erratic breath. Oh god, you're doing this on purpose. You hung the suit with shaky hands and leaned against a dresser. Calm down, Y/N, calm down. It's not like you never heard man moan. Heck, you were the reason they made those sounds in the first place! He's doing this just to make fun of you, just to make you aware that you're stupidly naive.

You couldn't control your feelings. You were angry, disappointed and wronged but no matter what sounds that were escaping his lips aroused you, and you hated yourself for this. You felt the wetness gathering on the fabric of your underwear and it was becoming uncomfortable. There was no point in staying there any longer. You took deep breath and left the wardrobe, trying to appear more confident than you were.

You stopped with a hand on the door. “I put the suit on the left. I want to remind you that you have a meeting at eight tomorrow so please, don't play for too long... boss,” you said with blank expression, staring directly into his eyes. Before you closed the door, you heard him swear.

“Are you crazy,” the girl screamed, coughing hysterically.

You laughed, feeling almost dead inside.

She was useless. He didn't feel anything even though she had her lips around his cock for what seemed like an hour now. He didn't go to work today and invited her to his house to finally relieve some pressure that built in him but it was no use. He felt even worse than before. She didn't know what she was doing, and he started to think that he should throw her out. It wasn't a good idea after all. She wasn't you...

He was about to stop her and throw her out when he heard your voice. “B/N?”

His eyes opened so fast that his vision got blurred. It wasn't his imagination, you were standing there, looking at his body. His cock twitched a little, and he swore in his head. Your eyes ignited the flame in his body that the girl between his legs couldn't do for such a long time. He just needed you around to get hard.

“What are you doing here?” The first thing he noticed when he regained his composure was the harsh look in your eyes. You were mad, it was obvious to him. He felt the guilt building up in him even more.

“I brought you your suit. Sorry for the delay.”

“That's okay. Hang it in the wardrobe.” Wild idea crossed his mind. Maybe it wasn't that bad that you came here. He needed you to get rid of this annoying feeling of dissatisfaction. And if he couldn't have you directly, your presence would be enough. It wouldn't be the same, but he couldn't count on more.

“Sure thing.” He focused on the way your hips sway from side to side when you moved to the wardrobe, and he pushed the girl back onto his dick. She started to suck him again with the same slow pace but this time it felt different. Now his eyes were on your back. He was imagining your plump lips around him instead, he tried to picture you in her position with your hair all over your redden face and drool dripping from your chin.

Loud moan left his parted lips. He wanted you, he wanted you so badly right now. He was ready to throw this girl out of his house if you only said one word. He didn't care about her at all, his mind was occupied with you and it felt so perfect. He saw how your legs trembled and it drove him closer to his climax. He was affecting you the same way you affected him. You could say and do whatever you wanted but you still desired him.

You turned around and he quickly looked away. “I put the suit on the left. I want to remind you that you have a meeting at eight tomorrow so please” you stared into his eyes with blank expression, but your gaze held so much power that he almost lose it, he loved that, “don't play for too long... boss.” He couldn't control himself anymore. As soon as you finished your sentence he came hard, filling the girl's mouth with his seed. Echo of the word “boss” rang inside his head, tormenting him. He never knew that it would arouse him but when it left your pretty lips he lost every bit of control he had. It was a bit embarrassing that he came so fast but it doesn't really matter at that moment. He finally got what he wanted.

“Are you crazy,” the girl screamed, coughing hysterically. He didn't pay any attention to her, trying to catch his breath after long-awaited climax. “I told you that I don't want you to finish inside my mouth! It's gross. Jesus, now you need to do something for me, too,” she smiled sweetly while tracing her fingers on his leg.

“Get out,” he said.

“What?”

“I said, get the fuck out,” he repeated irritated.

“Don't you think I need something in return for the favor?”

“I didn't come thanks to you. You, in fact, were terrible. It was because of her,” he pushed her to the other side of the bed and turned around. “Take your clothes and get out.”

“You son of a bitch,” she yelled, grabbed her belongings and run out of the room.

He closed eyes slowly and imagined you next to him - exhausted, sweaty and his...

You threw yourself on your sofa and groaned loudly. “Fuck you, B/N,” you yelled into the ceiling frustrated. Your whole body, every muscle inside you burnt with anger and desire.

That was why you never engaged yourself in love. Being this vulnerable because of someone, always brought you pain. It made you weak and miserable. You should have learned already that depending on other people was the worst thing to do. They were always only pretending to care. Just as your own parents.

You ran your hand through your hair irritated. You definitely weren't sane. Why the hell you couldn't push his image out of your head? How could you be still attracted to the man that deceived you?

You couldn't concentrate because of the burning feeling in your abdomen. Flustered, you squeezed your thighs together to get some friction. When you moved your hand down, you told yourself over and over again that you were doing this just to get rid of that feeling. Not because of your mind, flashing you image of his sweaty body. Not because of his sweet moans, echoing in your ears.

Your fingers brushed past your wet folds and you pushed them inside you with a low groan. With every move of your hand you were more and more mad. It wasn't enough, it simply didn't feel right.

With heavy feeling of hate, you tried to imagine his lips on your neck, sucking and kissing your hot skin, his long fingers moving inside you, his deep voice saying dirty things right into your ear.

“B/N.” Long moan left your lips shamelessly. You felt dirty. You were nothing to him and yet, there you were, pleasing yourself to the thought of him. How low could you fall?

You digged nails into your thigh hardly, when you finally reached your high.

When a guy from an accounting department, whose name you forgot, told you that the team have planned to go to the party after work and you should join them, you eagerly agreed. Events of recent days became too hard to handle for you and you desperately needed some time to relax and forget, even for a few minutes, about B/N. For the past few days your head was full of extreme thoughts. You weren't sure if you still wanted to continue your task, if you wanted to stay around B/N any longer. You were hurt, and the fact that he acted like nothing happened at first was even more upsetting. He finally noticed the change in your attitude but it seemed that it wasn't something he cared about.

That was why you agreed to join the team that Friday night. That, and because you didn’t even remember when was the last time you went out, not to mention the last time you had sex. And you needed it more than ever. Because of the memory of that night, which you couldn't push out of your head, you were terribly tensed and needy. Even though, you felt terrible about it, that was your reality.

And when you learned that he was probably going too, you felt the need to make him angry, you wanted him to feel what you felt that day you had caught him with another girl. You wished he would really come, see you with someone else and go beyond his limits. You wanted him to boil with anger, to suffer.

“You got this, Y/N. It’s gonna be fine,” you said to yourself. You finished applying red lipstick and took last glance at your image in the mirror. You looked sexy, your black tight mini dress hugged your body in all right places, highlighting the fact that you didn’t wear a bra. Your hair fell back over your shoulders in perfect curls and your makeup was minimal except for bright red lipstick. You smiled to yourself, grabbed a bag from the bed and headed out from your apartment.

When you walked out of a cab right in front of a club, loud sensual music hit your ears. Small groups of drunk people were standing by the entrance, some laughing, some kissing. The inside of the club was extremely hot, smelled like alcohol, weed and sweaty bodies. Dim light and smoke were creating mysterious and arousing atmosphere. People were dancing close to each other, grinding on strangers shamelessly.

You missed such places. There was a time in your life when you spent night after night in clubs like this one, drinking and fooling around with men. It was your way to blow off steam. But since you started your mission that was rare. You spent most of your time at the office with B/N or at Markus’ house, searching for any clues that could help you understand the whole situation you were in. Today was your long-awaited time to relax.

“Y/N,” you heard someone from the left calling your name, so you turned in that direction. You saw a few people from work, sitting on a red couch. You didn’t remember their names except for Anna’s. You smiled at them and sat beside her.

“Beer? Cocktail,” asked guy in a white shirt. You remembered him from somewhere but you weren’t sure where he exactly worked. He was handsome but your plan was to hook up with someone who wouldn’t lose their job because of it.

“Vodka, a lot of vodka,” you said with a grin.

Hour later you lost count of how much you had drunk. You felt dizzy and extremely hot. You didn't have such good time in months. However, there was no sign of B/N and you didn’t really want to wait any longer for him. He probably decided to not come. You started scanning the dance floor, looking for someone suitable for the night. No one really caught your attention until you saw a guy standing by the bar. He was looking at you hungrily, sipping slowly on his whiskey. His tight white button shirt was slightly open, revealing tanned body, his hair were messy and you imagined running your fingers through them. Heat between your legs became unbearable.

You got up with intention to come closer to him but Anna’s hand grabbed your wrist. You turned to her with question on your face.

“You sure you can go anywhere in that state,” she asked. You only nodded your head, scared that she would sense the need in your voice. “Don’t you want to wait for boss?”

You shrugged, yanking your hand from her grip. You looked at the guy again. He was closer now, slowly swaying his body to the rhythm. Wait for boss? For what? Fuck him.

You approached the guy with a smirk on your lips. “Hey,” you said, linking your arms around his neck.

“Hey pretty.” His hands landed on your ass and pulled you close to him. He lowered his head to your neck, kissing and sucking on your skin roughly. You moaned loudly, grinding on his half hard dick, and he squeezed your butt in response. You felt wave of heat in your core, you couldn’t wait any longer, you needed some relief.

You grabbed his hair, pulled his head up and smashed your lips with his. The kiss was rough and needy. One of his hands traveled under the hem of your dress and touched your pussy through panties. You felt him smirk into the kiss when he felt how wet you were.

“Bathroom,” you mumbled between shaky breaths.

He swung you around and guided you to the closed area. His arm around your waist sent shivers down your spine. It didn't feel as good as you wanted, but he was better than nothing.

You kissed him again once the door to the bathroom closed with a quiet click. You run your fingers through his already messy hair, tugging it strongly. He lifted the hem of your dress up to your belly button and shoved his hand into your underwear. You groaned, throwing your head back and giving him access to your neck. He sucked at it again, leaving marks on the sensitive skin. He pushed his erection into your thigh, pinching your swollen pussy at the same time. You screamed in pain and pleasure.

You definitely needed it. You were sure you wouldn't remember his face tomorrow morning but that annoying feeling of dissatisfaction would be gone. And that was what you wanted. Screw B/N for now. Screw him and his fucking game.

The guy was about to push one of his fingers inside you when the door swung open, and he flew into the other side of the room…

He didn’t know why he was doing that exactly. He never went with his employees to party. Moreover, he never visited such filthy and unpleasant places like this bar. He preferred more elegant places with the same amount of horny girls ready to satisfy him. Now he felt disgusted and wanted to leave as soon as the smell of sweat hit his nose. How someone could enjoy something like this?

He looked around and noticed his secretary surrounded by people who he probably should have recognized. He didn’t even bother to recall their names, it was useless for him. He was here just to see you, just to observe how you acted in such environment. Maybe he even hoped that you would change your attitude towards him. After that… incident that happened in his bedroom, you became so cold, so distant, so… practical. You stopped arguing with him, you were doing all your tasks without a word and that made him furious.

He hated it, he hated every second of time spent with you. And it was all his fault. Just when he thought that the things started to look a bit different in his life, that maybe there was a chance and a reason to change his behavior, he fucking ruined it. All because of his stupid mind.

He came closer to the sofa and sat on the edge of it.

“Oh, look who’s here,” shouted a girl with short blond hair. She was clearly drunk as fuck, her eyes were foggy, and she spoke in irritating high-pitched voice. Her comment brought all eyes on him, making him kinda uncomfortable. “Boss, do you want to drink something?”

He looked at them with pity and finally realized that you weren’t there. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Sad,” she giggled and emptied shot of vodka.

B/N looked around, searching for you. He was mad at himself that he agreed to come here. He didn’t like those people, he couldn’t even drink. After the last time, there was no chance he would pour any alcohol in his system for a while.

He sighed and looked at keys in his hands ready to leave. What was the point of being around those people if you weren’t here?

“Boss?” He raised his head and glanced at his secretary. “Are you looking for Y/N?”

He twitched, shocked by her question. Was it that obvious? No, no one seemed to care, they were deep in other conversations, and they didn’t pay any attention to the both of them. Fuck.

“Why would I?”

“I don’t know, it was just a question,” she said while tracing her fingers on the edge of the glass. Something was off, he felt it.

“Just a question? Why did you ask that, huh,” he was mad. He didn’t like the idea of someone knowing that you were on his mind. Especially people who didn’t mean anything to him.

“Well, I thought you would ask about her since we told you she will come. I’m assuming that you agreed just because of this. After all, she’s the closest to you from all of us.” He exhaled slowly. She didn’t suspect anything after all.

He smiled to himself. “That’s true. So” he leaned towards her a little bit, “she didn’t come?”

“Oh no, she came.” He looked at her confused. Corners of her lips twitched. “I guess she’s with that hot guy that was looking at her all night. And I think she will definitely come more than once tonight” she giggled at her own joke.

B/N grabbed her by her shoulders. She whined at his sudden action. “Where the fuck is she?”

“How would I know? I'm not her guardian. Maybe bathroom?” He stood up abruptly and headed in given direction.

He gritted his teeth. Mad wasn’t even close to what he felt at this moment, he wanted to punch someone. Anyone, he didn’t care. He didn’t even understand completely why the thought of you with someone else made him this angry, but it did. He couldn't stand that someone could touch you, make you feel good. Fuck. Did you feel the same when you saw him that night?

He heard your lewd scream when he grabbed bathroom door’s knob. He pushed it quickly and saw you, head thrown back, eyes closed, mouth opened in pleasure and hand of a random guy in your underwear.

Without thinking, B/N punch him in the face, making him fly into the wall. He whined loudly and sank on the floor.

B/N looked at you with fury in his eyes…

Your eyes snapped open and you saw B/N in front of you. He was shaking with anger, his breath was fast and heavy, and his gaze was scarier than you've seen before.

You glanced at the unconscious guy who just seconds ago was about to fuck you. “What are you doing,” you screamed at B/N. You yanked your dress down and tried to come closer to his victim but B/N grabbed your hand and pushed you against the wall. “What?!”

“What,” he growled. “What am I doing? What the fuck are you doing?!”

“That’s non of your business, you jerk! I can do whatever I want! And I wanted to fuck him! Besides, you did the same! Am I not allow to?!”

The whole time you were trying to free yourself from his grip, but he was too strong for you. You attempted to kick him but in one second he grabbed both of your wrists in one hand, pinned them to the wall and caught your leg before you hit him. You cursed under your nose.

That was exactly what you wanted, you made him mad, he probably felt just like you. At least he looked like that. But you didn’t expect him to act this violent. You didn’t know he would take this so seriously.

You were about to scream at him again, but he suddenly kissed you.

You gasped shocked. His lips were much softer and sweeter than the guy’s on the floor, but they were much more greedy. You couldn’t lie, you loved the feeling of his mouth. You closed your eyes and thoughtlessly gave in the kiss. He made you a lot hornier. You felt the dampness inside your underwear more prominent than before. You wanted him, didn’t matter where or what will happen later, even what he did to you before wasn't important now, you just needed him. You moaned when his hand moved higher, touching your butt.

He broke the kiss and stared at you. You knew how you were looking, mouth opened, eyes hooded with desire and full of plea. He didn’t say anything, but he interlocked your fingers and pulled you out of the bathroom, leaving unconscious guy on the floor. He quickly crossed the dance floor and left the bar with you behind him. He opened his car and pushed you inside.

He was driving fast, definitely faster than he should have. He didn’t open his mouth during the ride even once. He looked extremely sexy with his clenched jaw and hands gripping the wheel strongly. But you were unsure, you didn’t know what he was planning. What if he wanted to drop you in your house?

Nah B/N, you’re not leaving me like this now.

Your intoxicated mind took action before you even thought about it carefully. Still looking directly at him, you slid hand down your body and you touched yourself through thin material of your panties. Quiet moan left your lips and brought B/N’s attention to you. He scanned your body, bringing more fire to your core. He clenched the wheel even tighter and sped more.

You knew you won.

When he pulled over to the parking in front of his apartment, you took out hand from your underwear. You wanted to open the door but he stopped you. He brought your fingers between his lips and suck your juices from them. His mouth was hot and his tongue… oh god, you imagined it on your pussy, slightly rough and definitely skilled. You moaned and yanked your hand back. One more minute and you were ready to fuck him in his expensive car.

He was faster than you, he opened door on your side and took you in his arms. You gasped loudly but quickly pushed your shock aside and you put your mouth on his neck, kissing and licking his hot skin. He growled and squeezed you tighter. You didn’t even notice when he entered his apartment. He stormed to his bedroom and threw you on the bed. You sat and took your heels off of your feet. Waiting eagerly for his next move, you moved on all fours and slowly licked your dry lips. He was looking at you and you were sure that after all he still wasn’t able to make up his mind. It was clear to you that he was torn between fucking you and leaving you there untouched.

“B/N,” you said in the most seductive way, “you can’t leave me now. Not when I want you so badly. I want you to fuck me. Rough. Please, boss.”

He was hesitant for a few seconds, but he finally grabbed you by your hair and brought you to his lips, “As you wish, kitten.”

He kissed you even harder than in the club. You felt intoxicated by his touch and smell, you needed him more than air at that moment. Your fingers found buttons of his shirt and you clumsily tried to undo it. He pushed you and ripped his shirt open. Sound of buttons hitting the floor made you gasped. B/N pinned you to the bed and yanked the front of your dress down, revealing your bare breast. Groan left his lips. His eyes on you made you hot, you wanted him to just fuck you, use you, whatever, you needed him inside you.

You were about to say this when his lips attacked your right nipple. You threw your head back, moaning loudly. His tongue swirled around it skillfully and then bit it harshly. Your hand flew into his hair and grabbed it. You felt him smirk into your skin, and then he repeated his action. Your mind was completely blank, there was only him, nothing else mattered. His every touch made you more desperate than you’ve ever been.

He released you and stood up. You looked at him confused. “Take off your clothes. Completely.” You obediently followed, throwing your dress and panties on the floor. “Good. On your knees,” he said while undoing his belt and taking off his jeans and underwear. You finally saw him completely naked in his full glory right in front of you. Your mouth watered at the sight of his cock. You licked your lips and looked up at him. “What are you waiting for? Suck.”

You grabbed his cock in your hand and gave it first lick, collecting precum from its tip. You hummed eagerly and took him fully in your mouth. He was hot, veiny and tasted insanely. You glanced at him when you started bobbing your head on his length, his eyes were closed, and he was breathing through clenched teeth. You couldn’t wait any longer, you needed some type of relief so you touched your wet folds. Shaky breath left your lips.

“Don’t even try,” B/N warned you, “Hands on your thighs.” His voice was deep, angry and filled with arousal. He grabbed your hair, wrap them around his hand and roughly yanked you on his dick. You choked, eyes widening at his violence. He started to fuck your mouth so aggressively that tears started to gather at the corner of your eyes, smearing your mascara all over your face. Saliva mixed with his salty precum dripped from your chin on the floor. You were so close to your high, you felt that tingly sensation build up inside your abdomen, and he wasn't even touching you. But then he stopped and pulled you on your feet. He licked your chin, looking straight into your eyes. “You want me, kitten?”

“Yes, boss.” Your voice was nothing more but a pleading whisper.

“I don’t think so. Try to convince me. What do you want from me?”

You swallowed impatiently. “I want you to fuck me, to use my body however you want to. Mark me, hit me, choke me, whatever, I just want your dick inside me, please,” you whined, touching his firm abs. “Please boss, please I…”

He didn’t let you finish, instead he pushed you on the bed again. “Get on all fours.”

His hand touched your butt and disappeared immediately just to land harshly on one of your cheeks seconds later. You moaned from pain and pleasure. He repeated it a few times, each one stronger than the previous. Your ass hurt as hell and you were sure that you will have problems with sitting tomorrow. But you didn’t care. You also didn’t care that your juices oozed from you down on the silk bed sheets, probably ruining them.

He hit you a few more time, but finally, after what seemed like an eternity, you felt his cock between your folds.

“B/N,” his name left your lips as a long whine and you felt him throb inside you. His moves were quick but steady, he filled you perfectly. Tears rolled down on your face, you were so sensitive, so close to your climax. You were sure that you wouldn’t last long. B/N grabbed your throat, squeezed it and brought you closer so that you were pressed to his chest.

“Are you going to cum for me like a good girl?” You nod slightly, unable to produce any words. His other hand traveled down to your clit and started rubbing it quickly. You couldn’t take it anymore.

Climax hit you so hard that you lost your vision, white spots danced in front of your eyes and you didn’t even hear your own weak scream. You were sure that if he wasn’t holding you, you would collapse. You never experienced something like this, it was the hardest orgasm you’ve ever had. You wanted nothing more than to lay on the soft bed and fall asleep.

But B/N wasn’t finished yet. He slammed into you harder and you screamed again. You were so overstimulated that his every move brought pain. You tried to free yourself and proposed to suck him off, but he only tightened his grip on your neck. You gasped for air and shut your eyes, unable to think anymore. His moves became sloppier, and he finally came with a loud moan. His hot seed filled you, bringing you to another orgasm.

Then there was only darkness…

He finally came. He was more than satisfied but the fact that this was probably the best sex and the hardest orgasm he ever had kinda terrified him. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere at the back of his mind such thought existed, but he didn’t want to admit it. You were intoxicating, that was certain. Your every move, every sound messed with his head, and he wasn’t sure if it was something good or bad. He didn’t really know what to think about it at all.

He loosened the grip on your throat. “Are you okay?”

You didn’t give him any response, so he looked at you with concern. Your head was laid on his shoulder, eyes closed and chest raising slowly. He smiled to himself.

Slowly, he put you on the bed and headed to the bathroom to get a towel. He carefully cleaned you from his cum and put blanket over your naked body. He laid next to you amazed. He had sex so many times but it never happened, no single women lost consciousness because of him. And no other women made him feel so satisfied, so… complete.

He gently touched your face. “You’re more dangerous than I thought, Y/N.”

He brought you to his chest and slowly fell asleep, breathing in your sweet scent...

Terrible headache woke you up in the morning. Sunlight that came through the window made you squeeze your eyes shut. Your throat was extremely sore and when you rolled on your side, sharp pain radiated from your ass. You whined, trying to remember what happened yesterday. Your memories were fogged, some unclear bits that didn't make any sense.

Something moved on your left and you snapped your eyes in this direction.

Then it hit you.

“Oh fuck.” You sat on the bed, blanket fell off of you, revealing your naked body. “Oh shit, shit, shit.” You quickly got up, trying not to wake B/N up, gathered your clothes from the floor and put them on in a hurry. What the fuck, Y/N? What have you done?

It wasn’t suppose to happen. You wanted to get laid but not with him… especially not with him, not after what he did. What were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all? Now being around him, would be even harder. Thought about leaving all this shit crossed your mind, but you didn't have time to think about it. You needed to get out of B/N's house. Fast.

You looked at him before leaving his bedroom. In the sunlight he looked like an angel but his messy hair and slightly opened mouth brought memories of the previous night. He was far from an angel.

You couldn’t stop yourself and before you registered what you were doing, you kissed him delicately. “I hope you won’t remember that, B/N.”

When he woke up, he was ready to brush your hair and inhale your scent. It was hard for him to fully understand that. He just felt the need to do that.

When he turned around to where you were supposed to lie and realized that you’re gone, he sat straight confused. He looked around, there was no trace of you in his room, all your belongings were gone, the side of the bed where you were lying yesterday was cold. He cursed under his breath. What the fuck? Last night you were begging him to fuck you, to use your body however he wanted, and now when you satisfied your needs you were gone? No “thank you”, no “forget about it”, nothing. You just left him naked and alone. It wasn’t going to work with him.

He clenched his jaw and headed into the shower. He needed to think. It wasn’t like he never done something like this, of course he was leaving women’s houses when he was finished with them, it was normal for him. But someone leaving him? It never happened and it made him furious. Did that sex mean nothing to you? You definitely wanted it and you enjoyed it as much as he did. And yet, you left without a word. Was that your plan? Did you want to use him and disappear, so he would feel like every woman he had? Or... maybe you wanted him to feel the same as you felt a few days ago.

He banged his head on the wall, cold water running down his face. His feelings confused him. He didn’t understand your motifs, not to mention your feelings, which he didn’t like. He wanted to know clearly whether you felt something for him or not. He needed to know this. Even though, he was still reluctant to admit it, the thought of you not caring about what happened yesterday upset him.

Because deep down, he cared about it.

B/N entered the company, ignoring people who greeted him. He wasn’t in the mood, he just wanted to ask you if you remember anything from previous night, and if you at least felt good. He opened his office and saw you leaning against his desk and explaining something to Jiho. You were wearing pencil skirt and turtleneck. When you turned to look at him, blush creeped on your cheeks and you lowered your gaze. You definitely remembered.

“B/N, good to finally see you. You know you’re late, right?” Jiho was clearly irritated. B/N sat on his chair and focused his gaze on you. You shifted uncomfortable. “You have meeting in an hour and you didn’t even read what Anna had prepared for you,” he continued. “I asked Y/N to prepare shorter version of the files. Familiarize yourself with them. Y/N will help you.”

“What,” she squeaked. “I think you will do better than me.”

“Oh I know but I have other things to do. I’m counting on you, Y/N,” he said and left the office.

Uncomfortable silence fell over both of you. You took a deep breath and looked up. Your teeth tightened on your lower lip. B/N wanted to grab you and pull your mouth into the kiss, he wanted to be the one to bite your lips.

“So…” he started.

“I’m going to briefly explain to you what your meeting will be about, boss,” you cut him off. He blinked a few times confused. It was the last thing he wanted to do with you right now.

“I think we have something to discus.”

“Yeah and it’s content of your meeting, boss.”

“Y/N.”

“No. As Jiho said, you have a meeting in an hour and you need to be prepared for it. You can’t risk loosing this connection. We can talk about whatever you want after the conference but I think it won’t be necessary.” Your tone made him clenched his fist. So you wanted to forget about yesterday’s night? It really meant nothing to you.

Next half an hour he spent learning useless information just to please you. He was looking at you the whole time, trying to understand what you were thinking. It was difficult for him, it was the best sex he ever had, and he was sure it was the same for you, yet you decided to not talk about this, to forget everything. He refused to let this happen, he wanted to repeat that night again and again.

"Okay, I think that’s all I can tell you. I will escort you to the meeting room and leave these files with you. You will definitely make it work,” you said finally.

He stood up and followed you to the elevator. You didn't talk, you didn't even spare a glance at him, making him more anxious than he already was. When the door closed themselves, he didn't hesitate. Without thinking, he pushed an emergency button. Elevator stopped between floors with a loud scraping sound.

“What the fuck B/N,” you yelled. You tried to push the button again, but he pinned you to the wall with his body.

“We are going to talk about yesterday’s night, whether you like it or not, Y/N,” he groaned into your ear. Your breath stopped in your throat and he noticed it. “Why did you leave without a word?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, really,” he mocked you, shoving his hand under your skirt. You shuddered when his slander fingers touched your core. “I’m sure you perfectly know what I’m talking about. Look how wet you are right now. And I barely touched you. You remember feeling of my cock inside you, right? Come on, Y/N, I know you want me.”

“You know nothing, B/N,” you whispered between moans. His fingers curled inside you, hitting your sensitive spot. You threw your head back. “Oh fuck.” His lips attacked your jaw, kissing it sloppily.

“I don’t think so. I definitely know how to make you feel good, kitten.” He removed his fingers and yanked your panties off of you. He unbuckled his jeans, picked you up and order you to wrap your legs around him. You obeyed and connected your lips together again. He entered you fast with a low groan. You were squeezing him tightly, and he felt like he was in heaven. It was perfect. Why the hell you wanted to forget about it?

Your arms wrapped around his neck and fingers tangled themselves in his hair. Sounds that were leaving your parted lips, brought him so close to his orgasm that he was ashamed of himself. “Come on, kitten, cum for me. I’m sure you want that.”

Your legs squeezed around him, bringing him even closer. You were purring into his ear with content.

“B/N… oh my god,” you moaned right after you came around him, pulling hardly on his hair. Your lewd moans brought him to his release shortly after you. He pushed inside you a few more times and didn’t pull out immediately. He stayed in the same position for a few more minutes, trying to catch his breath. He enjoyed your warmth too much for his liking.

“Don’t even try to ignore what happened yesterday and now, Y/N. I want this to happen regularly. And I know you want that, too,” he said. You nodded slowly, still unable to talk. He put you down, reached for your underwear and helped you put them on. He looked at you, foggy eyes, erratic breath and wrinkled clothes. You definitely looked like you just got fucked. He kissed the top of your head and push the emergency button. Elevator moved again. “Maybe you should cover your face with hair or something cause when someone sees you, they will know what just happened. Besides, I want to be the only one to have the privilege to see you like this.”

He smirked, pleased with the blush that appeared on your cheeks.

After what happened in the elevator, you had no chance to talk with B/N. You waited for him, still too shocked with what happened, but he was at the meeting for so long that Anna finally decided to drag you out of the company. You protested, telling her that you need to talk to him, but she wasn't listening.

That was why the next morning you were running from the parking lot with flushed cheeks, hoping that you would be faster than B/N at the office. You were more than excited to see him again. It was only few hours since you saw him last time but there was something thrilling about approaching meeting. The memories of his hands on your body, his lips on your forehead were as fresh as the morning sun, and they set your expectations for today high.

Every part of your body tingled with anticipation and excitation. No matter how much you wanted to calm yourself down, it was hard. Yes, there was a small voice at the back of your head, trying to convince you that this whole situation is bad and you shouldn't engage yourself into it after all but you were ready to ignore it. For now, at least.

There was still no solid reason for you to stop all of this. All of his words and touches were done unconsciously, he for sure didn't know what he was feeling, and as long as he didn't understand it, it was fine to go along with his... proposition. He seemed too naive to figure it out alone, and you had no intention to help him with that.

“Good morning Anna,” you sang, leaning on her desk. “Is B/N in his office?”

She looked at you with a soft smile. “Hey, no, he's not here yet.” She brought herself closer to you. “I didn't have a chance to ask you earlier. How it went with this guy?”

“What guy?” You squinted your eyes in confusion.

“Come on, the one from the bar.”

“Oh...” You scratched your neck, slightly uncomfortable. Memories of that night flooded your mind, and non of them included the guy she was referring to. You weren't even sure anymore how he looked. “Well, it didn't work out.”

Anna patted your hand placed on her desk. “Was it because of B/N? If yes, then I'm sorry. I told him...”

“Hey, chill,” you interrupted her. “I didn't say I've come back home alone.” You smirked at her.

“So?” You tilted your head in question. “Are you going to tell me more about it,” she asked with curiosity in her eyes.

“About what?” Anna jumped in her chair with a scream, and you turned your head rapidly, meeting B/N's gaze. He was standing so close that you felt his warmth on the side of your body and even hotter breath on your cheek. His eyes scanned your face, and slowly slid down to the low-cut of your dress. His hungry stare lingered there for a few seconds, making you grip the edge of Anna's desk harder, and then he turned to her. “What was so interesting that you didn't even notice me?”

Anna cleared her throat. “I- we...”

“Yes,” he insisted.

You leaned toward him, taking hold of yourself again. “What? Did that hurt your pride,” you asked playfully. He looked at you with squinted eyes and clenched jaw. If you saw him like this a few days ago, you would have said that he wanted to hit you. Now? Maybe he wanted it too but in completely different situation.

“Y/N.” His voice was laced with warning, and you were ready to push him even further. He tilted his head to the side, and then corner of his mouth twitched. He probably sensed what you were doing and it both excited and scared you. Were you really this easy to read? “To my office, now.”

Anna stood up. “Boss, we...”

“It's fine, I can take it,” you said with a shrug, following B/N. The moment she couldn't hear you, you added just for him, “I already did.”

As soon as you stepped into B/N's office and closed the door, he pinned you to them, trapping you between the cold surface and his hot body. His hands squeezed your hips painfully, making you flinch. He smirked, pleased with your reaction.

“Back to being cheeky?” He put his mouth on your neck and sucked harshly on sensitive skin. You bit on your lips, trying to suppress the moan.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” you gasped.

B/N backed away. “Okay then.” He moved to his chair and sat on it with a smirk plastered to his lips. “What is today's schedule?”

You looked at him with wide eyes. Your breath was uneven, and heart pounded furiously in your chest. Ghost of his touch still lingered on your body. You didn't understand what just happened. “I- why did you stop?”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” he mocked you.

With a groan, you approached him, put your hands on the armrests and lowered yourself a bit. “Don't fuck with me.”

“I thought you want me to,” he laughed.

Your jaw dropped in shock, and it wasn't just because of his words. He seemed a bit more... relaxed. Playful. You never saw him joking and that new side of him pulled you even harder to him. When you met him, it didn't cross your mind that he was capable of smiling, not to mention joking. And now he was smiling at you, in a sweet way almost, and it made your heart skip a beat once again. It was dangerous and scary, you knew it, but it was also nice, and you couldn't bring yourself to stop his little game yet.

Without thinking, you traced your fingers from his temple to the jaw. He watched you carefully with half-closed eyes. “Y/N?” You jerked your hand away, frightened by your own actions. You scolded yourself mentally for that moment of weakness. “Are you okay?”

His eyes scanned your face again. His brows were raised in question. He tried to look unmoved, but you knew he was concerned. Somehow, it was easier to read him now, as if he unconsciously decided to open up to you.

“Yeah, why wouldn't I?” You tried to step aside, scared of your emotions, but B/N pulled you closer. You lost your balance and landed on his knees. “Whoa, what?”

B/N moved his head closer to your neck, and placed a kiss on the spot he abused earlier. You hissed in pain. “I'm back to what I was doing.” His tongue slid over your skin, leaving wet trail in the process. He grabbed the hem of your dress, trying to pull it higher.

“Wait, are you serious?”

“You thought that I'm joking,” he asked without looking at you, too focused on leaving kisses all over your neck.

“No- well, maybe... hold on, we can't do it here.” You tried to stand up, but he held you in place, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“We can, and we will. I wanted to fuck you in my office from the first time I've seen you. The image of you bend over my desk haunted me for days, kitten. You're not going to run now.” His hand moved down under your dress, and he dragged one of his fingers on your clothed clit. You shuddered under his touch, leaning your head back on his shoulder. “You can't tell me you don't want it. Your actually wetter than I thought.”

“I've never said I don't want it,” you whined. “I simply don't want anyone to see us.”

His mouth was back at your neck, and he moved your undies to the side, sliding his fingers through your folds painfully slow. Your back arched, and shaky breath left your parted lips.

“Why do you care?”

“Can you shut u-,” loud moan cut you in the middle, when B/N pushed his fingers into you. You grabbed his forearm, not entirely sure for what reason. You wanted him to stop, but at the same time to go faster. He pumped his digits into you, curling them at the most perfect angle. You rolled your hips, earning a low groan from B/N. Just then you realized he was already hard and it hit you that he probably wanted it even before he entered the building.

You weren't sure how and when that happened but in one swift move he brought you to your feet, pushed you over his desk and leaned on your body. His hard dick brushed over your ass, and he hissed again. Your face was laying flat on the cold wood, cooling your feverish body a bit. You glanced around just in time to notice how B/N hastily undid his zipper and pulled out his reddened cock. He lifted his eyes and met your hungry gaze. With a smirk, he started sliding his hand up and down his length.

Although the view was mesmerizing, you wanted to feel him, to touch him, to have him inside you. And preferably, you wanted it as soon as possible. You turned to him, wrapped your fingers around his and tightened his grip. He took a sharp breath, leaning toward you.

“I want you, boss,” you purred in his ear.

His eyes snapped open. He wrapped his other arm around you and pulled you up, sitting you on the desk. He shook your hand off and stood between your legs eagerly. Your eyes didn't leave his, when he pushed your undies aside and slid in you. Your head flew backward, and long moan escaped your lips.

“Eyes on me,” he gritted through clenched teeth. His hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing it. Your breath got stuck in your lungs, and your vision got blurry. B/N groaned loudly. “Fuck, if only you could see yourself now, kitten.”

You gasped for air. You couldn't make any sound, you couldn't move, you were at his mercy, and it brought you even closer to the climax. The fact that he could do whatever he wanted with you made your head spin. With desire, but also with fear.

B/N loosened the grip on your throat and leaned closer. His lips were inches away from yours, when the door behind you flew open.

“B/N, do you rememb-,” Jiho said but cut himself as soon as he noticed the scene in front of his eyes. B/N looked at him angrily, not stopping his movements. You tried to free yourself, but he tightened his fingers on your neck once again, making you whine pathetically. Your whole face burned with embarrassment but you couldn't do anything. The burning feeling in your abdomen was dangerously close to spread through your body and you weakly patted B/N's hand to let him know. You didn't want to come while Jiho was watching.

B/N glanced at you, and without breaking eye-contact with you, he growled, “I'm busy now.”

“I can see.”

“Jiho, get the fuck out of here. Now.” It was hard for him to talk, his voice was strained and his moves became erratic. He was as close as you, and even though, he didn't care about Jiho seeing him in this state, he couldn't let his friend to see you like this.

You didn't hear Jiho's answer but as soon as the door clicked, your whole body trembled in ecstasy. Your vision darkened and you slapped B/N's hand a few times, scared that you could pass out. His arm fell on the desk, and he moaned a little too loud, reaching his high, too. He pressed his forehead on your shoulder, breathing hardly.

You dragged your fingers through his hair and yanked them hardly, lifting his head. “What was that, B/N,” you hissed.

“Hm,” he murmured dreamily.

“Why didn't you stop when Jiho...”

“There was no need.”

“No need?” You pushed him away, flinching at the loss of contact. “You fucking jerk.”

B/N grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you closer. You gasped, shocked. “Watch your mouth, kitten. Jiho is my friend. Besides, he saw me like this already.”

“But he didn't see me,” you mumbled. “Fuck.”

“Hey,” he lowered his gaze, “he saw nothing, only your back. I wouldn't let him enjoy this view.”

You took a deep breath. “It's embarrassing.”

B/N smiled sweetly and placed a kiss on your temple. “It's okay. Don't worry that pretty head of yours.” He dragged his fingers down your spine. “I would love to stay like this longer, but he's probably behind those damn door.”

“Yeah.” You took a step back and glanced at him. You bit your lips, trying to suppress the smile. “Maybe you should dress up first?”

B/N insisted that you should stay during his conversation with Jiho but you refused more times than it was necessary. He walked with you to the door, and before he opened them, he connected his lips with yours in a quick kiss. His hand slowly ran down your waist, smoothing your dress in the process.

“Prepare the documents for today's meeting. I will meet you at the conference room, okay?”

“Sure,” you said, and with rosy cheeks you left his office, averting Jiho's gaze.

B/N looked at his friend, annoyed. Without a word he moved back to his desk and sat on it with folded arms. Jiho followed him, smirk plastered to his mouth. He dropped down onto the chair, and nudged B/N's foot. “What?”

“I thought you wanted to ruin her life.”

“I still want to do it, man, but maybe... in a different way.”

Jiho laughed. “That's kinda funny, you know? You were all about how she's annoying, and she drives you crazy, and now you fuck her on your own desk. What's the difference now, huh?”

B/N stood up and turned to the big window. That was a good question. Something changed, and he still wasn't sure what exactly. “Honestly?”

“And how do you think?”

“I don't know,” he groaned. “It's just... yeah, she annoys me and stuff, but she pulls me to her in a weird way. And,” he brushed fingers through his hair, “fuck man, after I got a taste of her body, I can't forget about it. I dream about her, I want to touch her, wreck her... I just want her around me all the time. And I know what I've said earlier but... I'm not sure if this wasn't what I wanted from the beginning.”

Jiho was silent for some time but when he spoke up again, B/N froze in place. “Everything's cool but what about her past? She lied to us, and we still don't know why. Yes, she didn't do anything suspicious yet, but we can't be sure.”

“I do remember this,” he gritted through clenched teeth.

He felt like idiot because of this whole situation. Even though, he was aware that you were hiding something from him, he hired you. He knew, and yet he still wanted you around all the time. He tried to convince Jiho, and maybe even himself, that it was because he wanted to find out what were your motifs, but the truth was, he was simply interested in you. Even before the job interview, they found missing pieces in the background information you've provided them. There was something odd about it but no matter how hard they tried to look for any clue, they couldn't find anything other than what you've given them. It was almost like someone cleverly hid everything about you for some reason.

What made B/N even more anxious was the fact that he did and said a lot of terrible things to you, and you still stayed. He was sure that you had some hidden agenda in being his assistant, but he couldn't figure out what it could be.

And the fact that you were okay with every fucked up thing he did, scared the hell out of him. What have happened to you before you came to his company that you even were fine with Sheng's behavior?

“You remember, and yet you're falling for her,” Jiho said out of nowhere, interrupting his thoughts.

B/N turned rapidly. “Are you fucking kidding me? Me? Falling for someone?”

“That's how it looks to me, B/N, and it worries me. No matter what you think, I want you to find someone who will put up with your shit and will love you unconditionally, but I'm not sure if she's the best candidate.”

“I don't go in for love and relationships, Jiho. It's the same with her, I'm all in for her body and that's it,” he groaned annoyed, not sure if he himself believed that anymore.

“I hope you mean it.”

Silence fell over both of them and he winced. “What did you come here for in the first place,” he asked, trying to change the topic. In a very long time he didn't feel like this, judged and uncomfortable under someone's gaze, and he definitely didn't miss it. He wanted this feeling to pass as quickly as possible. Of course, he didn't blame Jiho for this, he was just worried about him and B/N appreciated it. But the thought of other people noticing some kind of change in him, irritated the hell out of him.

“Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask you if you remember that you're supposed to meet your family on Saturday.”

B/N groaned again. “No, I didn't but you just fucking reminded me of this.”

“You haven't seen them in a long time, man, you should go.”

“And I was perfectly okay with this,” he sighed, sitting in his chair.

It wasn't like he didn't like them... he hated them. Especially his stepmother and her fucked up son. They've made his life a living hell for so many years. There was no chance he would ever forgive them for what they did to him, for how their words and actions shaped him in to a person he was now. Even mention of them made him clenched his hands into fists.

“Then do it for your father.”

“I will think about it.”

After Jiho left his office, B/N had to force himself to do the same with all the strength he had in him. His head was full of thoughts, confusing him more than anything ever. Out of nowhere everything became complicated. And he was... scared. Scared that, in fact, something had changed. Scared that he couldn't understand why it happened exactly.

As soon as he left the elevator, he saw you and the guy he was having the meeting with, chatting casually. You were smiling and you looked like you enjoyed the conversation. Much to B/N's dissatisfaction. However hard he tried to remember, he never saw you so relaxed and comfortable around him. With him you always seemed careful and maybe even tensed, and the realization of this made him angrier than he already was.

“I must say, miss, that I'm kind of jealous of your boss.”

“And why is that,” you asked, laughing.

“Well, I hope you won't be mad at me for saying this, but I would love to have such a beauty as my assistant. It probably would make my day a lot better.”

You opened your mouth but before any sound left them, B/N put his hand on the small of your back, pressing it hardly into you. You turned your head, trying not to show any sign of pain on your face. B/N looked at you shortly with cold gaze and switched his attention to the man. “Oh it sure does make my day better, Kim.”

“You're pretty lucky. You know,” he said, glancing at you with a playful smile, “if you ever got tired of him, I would definitely find a place for you in my company.”

B/N pulled you closer to him. His jaw was clenched, and eyes deadly serious. He never liked Kim but at that moment he wanted to rip his head off. “Don't make me laugh. Even in your wildest dreams she won't spread her legs for you.”

You gasped shocked, jumping away from him. It seemed like you wanted to say something but eventually you stayed silent. They didn't even pay attention to you anymore.

“Are you sure about it?”

“You bet. Only I can have this pleasure,” B/N said with a smirk.

Kim glanced at you. “I stand by what I said, miss.”

“How about we talk on another day, Kim? If you stay here any longer, I don't know what I will do.”

“Like the old days, huh? Send me an email regarding new date.” He moved past B/N and stopped near you. “Remember what I said,” he winked at you with a smile.

B/N exhaled slowly, hanging his head low. Anger boiled inside him, making his heart speed. Why the fuck all the people around him wanted you for themselves? He finally found something... someone who made his days better and everyone wanted to steal you from him.

He raised his eyes, meeting your angry gaze.

You stormed in to the conference room, pulling confused B/N with you. You pushed him towards the wall, and with rage in your eyes you pointed the finger at the door. “What the fuck did you do just now? Is today a day to embarrass me or are you just stupid?”

“Y/N,” he warned, taking step forward.

“No, shut up.” You massaged your temple, trying to gather your thoughts. You weren't even that mad about what he said, or even what he did earlier in his office. The fact that he was clearly jealous made your blood boiled. It wasn't supposed to be like that. You thought that the chance of him seriously falling for you was small, but with each action he proved you wrong. He was already too deep with his feelings. And that was dangerous. “Why did you do it?”

“What exactly?”

“Don't play dumb, B/N. You were marking your territory as if we were in a relationship. News flesh, we are not, and don't forget that.”

He gritted his teeth. “I know this.”

“So why are you so jealous,” you shouted. “You did the same at the club. I'm not your damn property, we are just fucking, nothing more.” You ran your hand through hair annoyed to the core. You wanted him to get closer to you, to open up but not exactly this way, you didn't want him to fall in love with you. Not when you knew how it all would end. Sooner or later you would disappear from his life and you both would be left hurt if those feelings got any stronger.

“I'm not jealous, Y/N, I just don't like to share.”

You took a better look at him, he was extremely tensed, and his hands were clenched into fists. Even if he wanted to hide it, you saw how they tremble lightly, and you weren't sure if it was because he was this angry or if he was confused and overwhelmed with his own emotions. Either way there was no point in talking to him any longer. You were certain that he would try to calm you down or say something sweet that would melt your stupid heart, and you couldn't let that happen.

You sighed deeply. “Sure. You know what? Let's keep it professional for some time because it looks like too much sex gets you all confused.”

“Are you serious,” he asked, blinking in shock.

“Dead serious, boss,” you said, and hastily left the room, not giving him a chance to change your mind.

Ignoring B/N and focusing only on your work as his assistant wasn't an easy thing to do from the very beginning, and now... it was even harder. You tried to be as professional as possible, only do what was required from you, but B/N constantly reminded you of the uncertain status of your relationship. He was looking at you, and only you, whenever you were around, his hands reached for you even if it was just for the smallest touch, and he couldn't stop talking about how much you and this situation annoyed him. He reminded you at least once an hour how badly he wanted to go back to your deal.

You tried your hardest to resist him. It was both irritating and saddening. As much as you wanted to go back to how your relationship looked before, it wasn't possible. Deep down, even if you didn't want to admit it, you knew that you both were already too deep into each other and there was no really turning back now. You wished that you could stop it from developing even more but you weren't sure if it was still possible.

Dread was looming over you all the time. There was definitely no happy ending to it, you felt it in your bones.

As soon as you entered the office after the weekend, you knew, you just knew, that something would happen. The atmosphere was heavier than usual, even Anna seemed to be more uncomfortable than you've ever seen her. You sat on your chair and glanced at her suspiciously. She ignored you, too focused on the files in front of her.

“Anna,” you spoke up confused.

She glanced at you, surprised. “Oh, Y/N, hey. I didn't see you.”

“Yeah, I know. Something happened?”

“I'm sure it did,” she sighed, leaning in her chair. “You definitely noticed that B/N is acting... strangely for a few days now. Fuck, it's not possible not to notice, you'd have to be blind not to see it. But today... I- I'm kind of worried about him. He came into the company, looking so fucking depressed, he didn't want anything from me, said basically nothing beside cancel my meeting today and locked himself in his office. He seems so down, I've never seen him like this, it's not like him at all.”

You looked at the door to B/N's office sadly.

It wasn't suppose to happen. None of it. You thought that after so much time, you would be out of this place already. You were sure you would leave this whole mess behind you, without regrets and, most importantly, without such strong feelings towards B/N. You had no plan to fall in love with him, and you were definitely on such track. Hatred was the only thing you were supposed to feel. And it should have been the same for him.

“Y/N, can you... you know, talk to him,” Anna asked with hope in her voice.

“I don't think it's a good idea.”

“Just try. You're closer to him than any other person in this company.” You opened your mouth to protest but Anna shushed you. “If not for him, then do it for me. I can't take this anymore.”

You took a deep breath. If only it was as easy as you think.

“Please, Y/N,” she begged.

“Fuck... okay, I can try but I can't guarantee anything,” you said, standing up. With heavy heart and trembling hands you approached his office. You knocked on the door but you didn't hear any answer. Hesitantly, you came inside and frozen instantly. Papers were scattered all around the room and among them, on the floor, B/N was sitting with head hidden in his hands. You came closer to him and knelt. “Hey, B/N, are you okay?”

He raised his head slowly and looked at you with sad eyes. Dark circles on his face were bigger than you've ever saw on him, his clothes were wrinkled and it looked like he didn't shave for, at least, three days. It wasn't like him. He seemed fragile and broken, and that hurt you more than anything. “What are you doing to me, Y/N,” he said weakly.

You sat across him and took a deep breath. “I'm not doing anything to you. It's all in your head.”

“Sure,” he laughed. “I knew you would say something like this. What else could I expect from you, huh?”

“What?”

“Come on, I'm sure you feel the same as me, but for some fucking reason you deny it all the time.”

You rolled your eyes annoyed. “Like you? That means what exactly?”

“I don't know, I can't describe it, but I'm sure that there is something. Something that pulls me closer to you. Something that I can't resist.” He extended his hand, trying to reach you but you moved back. He laughed again. “See?”

Your heart was racing furiously. He was right. He was so damn right, but you couldn't tell him this. You weren't doing this just for your peace of mind but also for him. You didn't want him to suffer later on. Actually, that was the last thing you wanted. “B/N, it's all...”

“In my head, right,” he interrupted you. “Quit the bullshit already. We both know you're trying to convince yourself, not me.”

You stood up abruptly. Your hands were trembling in frustration. “B/N... for fuck's sake, get your shit together. I don't need to convince myself because I know that the only thing between us is sex. Nothing more. You should finally see this too, you're only making yourself look more pathetic.”

“So it's my fault now,” he hissed, getting on his feet, too.

“After all, it was you who proposed this deal.”

“Yeah, right. But you eagerly agreed to it. Oh, and don't forget that you begged me to fuck you that night when we left the club.”

“I was fucking drunk and horny,” you yelled. “It didn't matter. Should I remind you that I was ready to sleep with someone else? No, wait, it won't fit in your narrative, right?”

You could have sworn that you saw like all his strength left his body. He leaned against his desk, turning his head the other way. “Why are you doing this,” he asked quietly. Cold hand of pain squeezed your heart painfully. Seeing him like this was hard, and you were sure that any more minute spent there would end up in your defeat.

“B/N, listen to yourself. Stop overthinking it and just listen to what you're saying,” you sighed, turned around without second glance at him and left his office before tears rolled down your cheeks.

He watched as you were leaving his office and, as much as he wanted to go after you, he stopped himself. His head was spinning with too many thoughts. Was he wrong about your relationship? Did you really feel nothing? That's how it looked like. That was the only logical answer to your coldness during this conversation that he could come up with. You seemed not affected at all by this situation, you were still as beautiful and lively as always.

And he was the opposite. For the past few days he couldn't sleep, eat, and there was no room in his head for caring about his looks. He just didn't care. The only thing that he was constantly thinking about was you, and only you.

There was no point in denying it anymore, he fell for you. He was terrified by that thought but that was the truth. For the first time in his life he finally felt alive, even if that lasted only two days. There was something in you that made him feel things he didn't know he could experience. He always thought that love wasn't for him, after all even his family wasn't capable of loving him. He never experienced it, or simply didn't remember. But that wasn't the point.

The point was that he didn't know that he was able to love anyone.

And now that he miraculously found someone who woke up those feelings in him, he was left alone with all of this. Left in fear and confusion.

You leaned against the door with closed eyes and heavy breath. It was too late to save him from pain now. It was okay for you, you got used to feeling broken and alone but the thought of him feeling the same hurt you more than anything. You really tried to prevent this but B/N was probably in love with you long before he'd proposed that deal. And now there was nothing you could do. You could avoid him, ignore him, tell him every awful thing you could come up with, but there was no use in doing this.

There was only one thing you could do but you didn't have the strength to do it yet. Leaving him, leaving all this mess behind you, was probably the best thing you could do, but you wanted to be selfish for once. You wanted to spend some more time with him, even if that meant just looking at him from afar. Even if that meant that you would need to disappear from, not only his life, but lives of other people around you... Markus, Anna, and especially Kyo.

Just few more days and you would leave. As far as possible.

You wiped the tears from your face and approached Anna. She looked up at you and when she noticed your reddened eyes, she sighed. “It didn't work out?”

“No. I would even say that I made it worse.”

“Oh fuck. What happened to him?”

“I- I don't know.” You glanced at the door to his office with guilt. You knew all to well what happened, after all it was your fault.

Before you had a chance to turn around, the door opened and B/N came out of the room. He looked even worse than just a few minutes before. He seemed smaller... weaker. It was as if all the hope he had in him before your conversation was gone now. Your heart stopped at the sight and the only thing you wanted was to take him in your embrace and tell him that it would be alright. But that would be a lie, and you didn't want to deceive him even more.

He looked at you sadly and passed by you without a word. Anxious, you grabbed his arm, making him turn around. His eyes landed on your hand tightly wrapped around his and you could see on his face how hard it was for him to not react.

“Where are you going,” you asked.

“Home, or bar, I don't know. I can't be here any longer.”

“Boss,” Anna started. “Is everything all right? Are you okay?”

B/N laughed sadly. “Do I look like I'm okay? Shit, I'm far from being okay.”

“Can we talk once more,” you proposed, ready to give in. You couldn't look at him in this state anymore. It was too hard.

“No, we can't. There's nothing to talk about, Y/N.”

You tried to stop him, you really did, but he yanked his arm away and disappeared in the elevator, leaving you with heart shattered into pieces.

You felt like this once, and you prayed to all gods that you would not feel it ever again. It was too similar to what you experienced in your childhood, being left alone with no hope, no positive emotions. The only thing existing in your broken heart was sadness and loneliness. Fuck, maybe what you felt right now was even worse. Back then, there was no guilt in you, but now it filled every part of your body in the most painful way.

You called B/N many times during that day, but he never picked up. At some point he finally turned his phone off, leaving you without any way to track him. You were more than worried. Seeing how badly he was dealing with this, you feared that he would do something stupid. And you couldn't stop thinking about what would happen later... when you leave. If he was so depressed with you still around him, how would he react to the situation where he couldn't see you anymore?

When you finally left the company and got to your apartment, you couldn't deal with your thoughts and emotions any longer. Rain that was falling on you heavily, was mixing with your bitter tears, and making you even colder than you were.

You got on your floor and frozen immediately. Your breath got stuck in your throat and the bag you held in your hand fell on the floor. “B/N?”

He looked at you with slightly reddened eyes and leant against the door more. “Hey.” His voice was hoarse and filled with so much pain that you couldn't bear it.

“What are you doing here?”

He sighed deeply. “You know, I wanted to drink, to get wasted until I lost consciousness but I had no strength to deal with people. I never really had, but... it's harder today. Every time I got caught in my thoughts, I saw your face, I could fucking smell your fragrance. So I came here. I don't even know how it happened,” he laughed. “I was thinking about you and suddenly I was here. That's fucked up, right?”

You came closer to him, and just then you noticed how much he trembled. His clothes were wet, sticking to every part of his body. “You shouldn't be here.”

“Yeah, I know but I couldn't help myself. I can't deal with this anymore. Is it so wrong that I want you close? Is it, Y/N?”

You extended your hand and slowly brushed through his wet hair. He closed his eyes, leaning in your touch. You were weak, maybe weaker than him actually. Of course, there was a part of you that wanted to push him away from you but it was small. Definitely too small, taking into consideration what you were going to do.

“B/N, get up.”

“I don't want to leave. Don't make me, please,” he begged. He grabbed your hand in his and squeezed it harder than necessary.

“I want you to move out of the way, so we can go into my apartment.”

In no time he was on his feet, standing so close to you that you could feel how his chest was raising and falling with each breath. “You really mean it?”

“Yeah, I do. I can't look at you in this state,” you said, opening the door for both of you. You got inside and headed straight to the bathroom to get two towels. When you came back, B/N was standing in your living room, looking strangely at every empty shelve. You threw one of the towels at him. “Here, dry yourself a bit. I'm gonna look for something for you to wear. Even though it's going to be hard.”

You didn't even notice that he followed you to your bedroom. Only when you turned around with pair of too big sweatpants in hands, you saw him. He was standing at the entrance with hope in his eyes, making your insides burnt.

“Why can't you look at me,” he asked.

“What?”

“You said you can't look at me in this state, why?”

You handed him the pants. “Change into this, and we will talk, okay?” He nodded but didn't move. “B/N, really. You will get sick if you stay in those wet clothes. I promise you, we will talk.”

He smiled. “You don't have any shirt for me, do you?”

“Not really, I will give a blanket or some shit, sorry.” You quickly grabbed something for you to change into and headed to the bathroom, leaving B/N in your room.

You weren't sure what you were doing, your only plan was to invite him to your house and let him warm up a bit. The rest was up to the fate, whatever was about to happen... you were ready to take it. You were scared, yes, but there was no return now.

“Are you okay with black tea,” you yelled, taking two cups from the shelf.

“Yeah,” he answered, and you almost dropped the cups, startled by the proximity of B/N's voice. You turned your head and saw him standing by the table with only sweatpants on. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw his beautiful body again. He was still as perfect as you remembered him. Your cheeks started to burn, so you moved back to your previous position, trying to hide it.

“There's... um- there's a blanket on the sofa. And... well, you can stay there, I will join you in a few minutes.” There was something about that situation that made you weirdly embarrassed. You saw B/N naked already, not only without a shirt, he was at your house before, and yet you were feeling more nervous than ever. Was it because now you were aware of the feelings between the two of you?

With cups in trembling hands you came to the livingroom and sat next to B/N on the sofa. He was wrapped tightly in the blanket, and as soon as you put the cups down, he grabbed one and took small sip of the tea. “Thanks.”

It was awkward. The silence that surrounded you, was suffocating you, but you didn't know what to say. You weren't sure were to start that conversation, but on the other hand, you couldn't sit like this any longer. You were more than uncomfortable.

“So,” B/N started finally. “Can you answer my previous question?”

You glanced at him, gnawing on your bottom lip. “I... well, you looked terribly, and you had wet clothes on. You know, I didn't want you to get sick.”

“That's all?”

“And what else did you expect?”

B/N put his cup down and turned in his place so that he was facing you. His knee was touching your thigh, spreading heat all over your skin. “Can we be... honest with each other, Y/N?”

You tightened your fingers around the mug. Honest? I wish I could be honest. “But that's what I felt like. I was just worried you would get sick.”

“So you were worried about me,” he said, smiling softly.

“That's what you wanted to hear?”

“Yeah.”

It was so weird to see him so relaxed and happy. He acted as if he was completely different person now. It was a nice change, you couldn't deny it, but it would probably be better for both of you, if he was still the same cold man from before.

“Do you...,” he mumbled, looking at your hands, “do you really believe in what you said to me at my office? You know, do you think that what I feel is just my imagination?”

You sighed. “I don't know. I- I'm too confused with all of this. For a long time you acted as if you hated me, and suddenly... suddenly, you started to be nicer and stuff. I didn't expect you to be like this, I didn't expect any change. I heard that you have no feelings... no heart even, that you don't care about people, so your behavior now messes with my head.”

“It's not like you're the only one who's confused. I don't really understand my emotions. I've never felt like this. You know, worrying about someone, wanting to be close to them... it's new to me and I'm not sure what does it mean.”

You glanced at him, he was averting your gaze, too focused on his own hands. He did look extremely disoriented and bothered by this whole situation. He was acting like a small child, learning about new emotions, and trying to understand them. You wanted to tell him what it meant but... there was still part of you that was too terrified of what would come after this. It was better that he didn't realize he was in love with you. Maybe he would never figure this out and when you finally leave, he would forget about you.

But you didn't have the strength to end it yet. For now, even if it was just for few more days, you wanted him around... you wanted to feel loved for the first time in your life.

You placed your hand on his neck and leant towards him. His eyes scanned your face in confusion. “I'm not sure about any of this, B/N, but I can't push you away anymore. You were so depressed for the past few days that I couldn't even look at you. I don't want that.”

He locked his eyes with yours for a second, and then he kissed you.

You wrapped your arms around B/N's neck automatically. You missed him, you missed the touch and warmth of his body on you. It was something you definitely craved more than anything else. His hands squeezed your hips lightly, and he pulled you closer, sitting you on his lap. Your bodies were pressed together, and the only thing separating you from his skin was your thin t-shirt. You wanted to get rid of it, to finally feel him properly.

You moved back a bit, breathing heavily. Your hands were shaking when you grabbed your shirt and took it off. Just as quickly you removed your bra and clung to B/N, throwing your hands around his neck again. Feeling of his hot skin on yours was probably one of the best feelings you've ever experienced. It made your whole body tingle in a really wonderful way, and you were sure you would miss it later on.

B/N's hand slid over your back in a gentle way, and his fingers got tangled in your hair. He pulled you closer and kissed your forehead. “You're so damn beautiful.” Your eyes widened at his words and you tried to hide your face in the crook of his neck, too embarrassed and scared, but he kept you in place. “Nuh-uh, I want to see your face, kitten. I really missed this view.”

“You saw me every day,” you mumbled.

“Yeah, but not like this,” he said with a smile and kissed you. His lips weren't as persistent as usually. Hell, he was so gentle that it shocked you to the core. His touch was light as a feather, almost as if he was scared he could have hurt you.

His hands traveled down your waist, landing on your hips. He massaged the skin just above where your sweatpants ended, making you shiver in his arms. His mouth left yours, and he put them on your neck, leaving delicate kisses all over it. He wasn't rushing anything. It seemed like he wanted to savor every second of it, to extend it as much as possible.

It felt amazing, yes, but you were too impatient. You missed him more than you've expected. You rolled your hips against him, gaining a low moan from him. His head dropped down on your shoulder and his breath got uneven. He tried to stop you but he didn't have enough strength to do it. He only squeezed your hips tighter and enjoyed your movements. When the hardness of his dick got more prominent, you couldn't take it any longer. You stood up, confusing B/N.

“What...” he started but shut up when you took your pants off. His eyes darkened and he licked his lips. You came back at your previous spot and rolled your hips again. This time moan left your lips.

You wanted him, you wanted him more than ever. Your hand reached into his pants and wrapped around his length, giving it a few slow strokes and collecting precum from its tip. B/N's head flew back in ecstasy. His moans were the only thing you could hear, and you loved it. You loved every little sound that was leaving his lips. You pulled his dick out of the pants and then slowly licked your fingers, looking directly into B/N's eyes. He hardly swallowed at the sight.

You put your lips on his ear, moving your whole body closer to his. His length brushed over your core and you shuddered. “B/N,” you whispered, dragging your tongue on his earlobe, “can you fuck me already?”

He looked at you. His eyes were filled with hunger and something else, something you couldn't really name. He wrapped his arm around your waist and lifted you a bit. “I'm not gonna fuck you this time, kitten.”

“You...” you began, but he lowered you on his dick, shutting you up. Your head hit his chest and your fingers tighten around his bicep. Your mind went blank automatically, the only thing you could have focus on was the feeling of him inside you. That heavenly feeling of his closeness you missed so much.

But there was something different now. It all felt differently. B/N's thrusts were slow and careful, his hand stroked your hair softly, and his lips were pressed to the side of your head. There was no sign of his previous roughness. This time he was handling your body with affection, care and... love. No one ever touched you like this, no one ever was as gentle as him. It felt new, breathtakingly even, filling your heart with emotions so strong that it almost hurt.

You raised your head and locked your eyes with his. He was looking at you as if you were the prettiest woman on the planet, as if you were the only one he ever wanted. Unable to handle all of this, you kissed him.

B/N pushed the hair out of your face, and traced his fingers on your temple. You looked so peacefully like this, your lips were parted lightly and eyelashes cast a delicate shadow on your cheeks. It was the first time he saw you deep in sleep this close, and he loved it. He didn't mind seeing you like this often. Hell, he wished he could do it every day.

He lowered himself and kissed your forehead carefully. “Stay with me, Y/N.”

#nct scenarios #bts scenarios #exo scenarios #seventeen scenarios #monsta x scenarios #angst #smut #romance #nct smut #nct angst #bts smut #bts angst #exo smut #exo angst #bias x reader #optional bias #nct fluff

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okashiras · 6 years

Text

Notes: Supplementary reading and a sequel of sorts. Enjoy.

KPOP AU PART 1

ao3 link

30 March 2014

If you had told me 4 years ago that Sasuke and Sakura would never officially confirm that they’re dating but would instead, out of nowhere, announce their engagement, I would have laughed my fucking ass off.

Anyway, I’m briefly back from my hiatus. Cheers to all of us! We did it. :’) (Or rather, they did it?)

tags: #CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!??!!, #I CAN’T BELIEVE ITT, #text post

cherry-shadow asked: you are a fandom high priestess!! ur blog is like my sasuke x sakura bible. i missed ur blog, thank u for bringing it back. bless you!!! have a nice day!! :-*

You’re very kind! Thank you!

tags: #cherry-shadow, #ask

sumuwu asked: sandy here, i’m not even that big on kage or kunoichi but i’m so glad for them and for you guys!! i support their mutual hotness. i’m sure they’ll have beautiful and talented babies in the future!!

Thank you so much for your support for our favorite couple!

PS: I love SuMu sibs, too. I just haven’t posted about them (because I’m always on a SS high). Looking forward to their comeback.

tags: #sumuwu, #ask

Anonymous asked: OH MY GOD YOU’RE BACK!!!!!1 will ur inbox be open for info/translation/general questions?? Asking for a friend. Lol ok bye!!! I love u ;A;

Haha, yes! For now. I just needed an outlet for all this excess energy and excitement. Thanks for still having me! I’ll try to reply as much as I can. But no promises that I can answer them all. ;;

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

Anonymous asked: now that they’re confirmed to have been dating for years (!!!!), i couldn’t help but want to review their interactions. do u recall moments in shows and such where it looks like their members are teasing them??

The members of Kage and Kunoichi have been kind of friends in varying capacities since before they even debuted so they’d always greet and bow to each other during shows and events. Nothing really special there. Unless we reach. Which, as you know, is exactly what this blog is for.

Since Anon specifically mentioned members (plural), I will only address moments where multiple members do the teasing.

(2007) Kiba and Naruto are rowdy hype men while the three members are more reserved, except when Sai does weird dances at select performances. Which is why when Kunoichi did their first performance ever at the KChart Music Awards, we can see Sasuke in this fancam (link) looking like he’s reprimanding Kiba, Naruto, and Sai because it distracts him from watching the girls (or just one girl?) perform.

(2010) This Kunoichi fancam from Konoha Music Awards in November (link) shows the girls standing while Rock Lee performs on stage. On Sakura’s side, you can see members of a boy group who keep moving and shuffling around. Another fancam (link) revealed that it was actually Kage members trying to switch places with each other.

So the member order was as follows: Tenten, Hinata, Ino, Sakura, Kiba, Sai, Sasuke, Naruto, Neji. When Kiba realized who he was next to, he walked away and tried to get in between Sasuke and Naruto. The two finally budged after a while, but Kiba was still unsatisfied because Sai was still between Sasuke and Sakura. So he went back and whispered something to Sai who promptly moved away and followed Kiba to stand between Naruto and Sasuke. Sasuke is now beside Sakura. Mission accomplished, guys.

(2011) In this Kunoichi fancam reaction to Kage’s stage on the KChart Music Awards (link), everyone was standing up. Unfortunately, the members were situated at the back, and Sakura, wearing combat boots, was at a height disadvantage. But the members came to her rescue when it was Sasuke’s turn in the spotlight. Ino who was the tallest member of the night thanks to her sky-high platforms, and Tenten the actual tallest member were whispering to Sakura, and looked like they were reporting and giving her a blow-by-blow account of what was happening on stage.

(2013) In this fancam of Kage’s reaction (link) to Sakura accepting the Best Female Solo for Courage at the Golden Leaf Awards, we see Naruto and Kiba who are smirking as they turn to a decidedly blank-faced Sasuke. Neji turns to their direction too, looking mildly exasperated.

tags: #masterpost, #Anonymous, #ask, #all of naruto’s teasing warrants a post of its own tbh

Anonymous asked: “#all of naruto’s teasing warrants a post of its own tbh” DUDE??!! please make that post a reality!! please!!!! i’ll give u my first born!! :)))

Haha! Okay, since there’s a bunch of you asking in my inbox: yes, the Naruto masterpost is underway. It’s gonna take a while but please look out for it if not by the end of this week then next week. Kinda swamped with work at the moment.

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

Anonymous asked: love you’re blog! :) Just wondering, who’s you’re bias in Kage??

Thanks! My bias is Neji because he’s the most fabulous.

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

Anonymous asked: hi!! do u have a link to the interview where they talk abt that line from shadows?? thanks

There were different articles with varying quotes from that interview (during SAGE album promotion, the one held in Konoha Mountain Villa back in March 2012) so I’m translating by combining the info from these articles: (x,x)

Q: Naruto, was the line “You are the sunshine in spring” from “Shadows” written for someone in particular?

Naruto: Uh, that’s— It’s not my place to say, sorry. Sasuke?

Sasuke: No comment.

Q: Is it perhaps about Hinata? She has the ‘sun’ character in her name.

Naruto: She does?

Sasuke: I wrote that line.

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

SS movie date in Wave Country (2012)

I just needed to update this post in light of new information.

In the Kage Konoha Mountain Villa interview 2012 (the one I linked in the previous post), Sasuke was recorded saying: “I like classic action movies. The most recent one I saw was In a Grove (藪の中 Yabu no Naka).”

Two months prior, Sakura uploaded a video of the instrumental ‘Prologue’ originally from the soundtrack of a film Rokurota. Both In a Grove and Rokurota are films by the director Makino Chikao which led people to speculate if the connection ends there or if there’s more. So I did a little investigating.

Sakura posted the video on the evening of 31 January 2012. During that time, Sakura was in Wave Country where she was a guest performer for Kage’s show in Sector D District. I searched the cinemas around that area and found one that at the time was having a director Makino Chikao retrospective. (You can check out their site here: link) I wasn’t able to see the list of films exhibited to confirm but I have no doubts that both In a Grove and Rokurota were screened there, especially since both films are critically-acclaimed and universally loved. And it’s likely that Sakura and Sasuke went to these screenings together.

Furthermore, you know what’s in front of Kaiza Theatre? An Owson grocery mart, aka the same one where those pictures of Sasuke and Sakura were taken the same year (link). See the side by side comparison (link) and note the same shelves and wall paint. And of course, those photos led to Danzo’s damage control denial of the dating rumors, and then Sasuke’s infamous “[KGE] is just a workplace” statement. Y’all know the rest.

tags: #text post

Anonymous: any opinions on danzo? lol

None. Hope he enjoys retirement.

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

yrzra asked: Hi! What’s your favorite Sakura era/hairstyle?

All Sakura is good Sakura to me! But if I have to pick one, I’d say when she came out with chin-length hair on her solo debut. It signified a new era, a new sound, and I was honestly blown away when I first saw it. That’s why it holds a special place in my heart.

tags: #yrzra, #ask, #little known fact: i prefer sakura’s solo songs, #but i still love kunoichi very much, #ino can step on my neck anytime

Anonymous asked: Wasn’t there an analysis of Heaven and Earth mv about Sakura’s romantic relationships? Or do you know the post I’m referring to?

Hm, sorry, I don’t remember that.

tags: #Anonymous, ask, #i personally don’t think it’s about her relationships at all?, #just about striving for self-improvement?, #which is a common theme in her lyrics

Masterpost of notable moments of Naruto being the SS fan club president

Note: As promised, here it is. If you have anything else to add, please don’t hesitate to reply/message me.

Let me preface this with a little background on Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto and Sasuke are the closest to each other in Kage not only because they are the two youngest members of the group, but also because they started training in KGE in the same year. The other trainee who started the same year they did was none other than Haruno Sakura. The three of them were said to be friendly even after they debuted in their respective groups. And it’s because of this that I believe they are privy to each other’s lives and relationships, and would, like any regular friends, every now and then tease the crap out of each other.

(2007) [VIDEO STAR] - Naruto talks about Kage members + colors 20070728

Naruto’s first solo guesting in Video Star variety talk show. There was a part where he was asked to describe the members of Kage via color association. (@ 2:11)

Izumu K: So black for Sai-kun, red for Kiba-kun, white for Neji-kun—

Naruto U: Yeah— Oh, no, not white. Ivory. Neji is very specific about this, you see.

Kotetsu H: Right, right.

Izumu K: What about Sasuke-kun?

Naruto U: Sasuke is... pink. Yeah. Pink. Pretty and memorable color. Lots of energy. (laughs)

Kotetsu H: Pink? For Uchiha Sasuke-kun? Really? Isn’t that a bit— (laughs)

Naruto U: Oh, you know what, scratch that. He’s gonna send me angry texts if he sees this. Okay, I’ll change it. Let’s see...

Kotetsu H: (laughs) Why would he?

Naruto U: Got it! Green. Nice, refreshing green.

Izumu K: Konoha green.

Naruto U: Yeah, yeah. Sure, green. (turns to the camera) I changed it, Sasuke! If you’re watching this, don’t be mad at me. (laughs)

Kotetsu H: Sasuke-kun, please take it easy on Naruto-kun.

Izumu K: Okay, what about you?

Naruto U: Orange, of course!

Pink is too obviously referring to Sakura/her signature hair color which is especially obvious since Kunoichi just debuted around the time of this interview, so Naruto changed it to green to prevent Sasuke’s wrath. But you know what else is green? Sakura’s eye color. Thanks, Naruto! Your subtlety is unparalleled.

(2007) KAGE reaction to KUNOICHI performance - MINDBLOWER + BLOOM @ Konoha Music Awards

Sasuke is a famously stoic cold city guy at award shows, especially when sat beside Naruto who dances exuberantly to every other performance. That is, until Kunoichi debuted. Sasuke would begin showing signs of life whenever Kunoichi performed, like foot tapping, some head bobbing here and there, and some stray finger flicking actions during the Mindblower chorus.

Anyway, in this particular performance, Naruto elbow nudges Sasuke on his side (pretty hardly, if Sasuke’s annoyed expression is anything to go by) just as Sakura’s verse is about to come on. (@ 1:32)

(2008) [FULL/ENG SUB] [HD] 080805 Idols Weekly EP 56 - KAGE Part 1

KAGE’s appearance in Idols Weekly where Naruto said he would join Kunoichi because his group kept betraying him, and then he said he would drag Sasuke along with him. He didn’t get to elaborate on why exactly because he was cut off by Sasuke’s glare.

Okay, this is kind of a reach but they were all just previously nailing the Bloom choreography, and then Naruto was dragging Sasuke specifically to join Kunoichi. Why just Sasuke? All of Kage are on friendly terms with Kunoichi members. That’s why I’m inclined to believe Naruto was teasing him because Sasuke has eyes on someone in Kunoichi. And we all know who.

(2009) [Music Bank K-Chart] 2nd Week of January - SN, Sound5

Sakura had the opportunity to host Music Bank for January. At the time, Sasuke and Naruto were promoting their subunit single “The Valley.” On the one episode that month where they performed, during the K-Chart announcement part, you can see Naruto subtly (not really) pushing Sasuke to his right. When the camera switches to wide shot, it appears that Sakura was on standby from hosting duties a few feet away over at Sasuke’s right side the whole time. (@9:42)

(2010) Sasuke was in Snow Country on a personal schedule and posted a rare picture of himself. Well, kind of. It was him looking like a hypebeast cryptid wearing multiple layers of winter clothes and scarves, against the backdrop of flower trees in Land of Spring (Snow Country’s capital). Captioned: ”wish you were here.” (My god he is so basic sometimes, I can’t.)

Anyway, on the said post, Naruto left a comment of around 15 cherry blossom emojis.

Cherry blossom = Sakura. King of subtlety…

Sasuke deletes this post five minutes later (which would have been suspect if he wasn’t such a serial post deleter). But luckily, we still have a screenshot which includes Naruto’s comment.

[IMAGE: @sasuke_deleted]

(Also note that a month prior to the announcement of their engagement, Sasuke and Sakura were reported to have had a rendezvous in Snow country. That place must be significant to them and Naruto being in their inner circle probably knows why this early on.)

(2010) [20102310] Naruto’s KLIVE Chat

Naruto was promoting his solo mini album and did a KLive broadcast where he called some Kage members. During his phone call with Sasuke, out of nowhere, Naruto mentioned Sakura. (@ 40:07)

N: Anyway, Sasuke, aren’t you preparing for your final show this week?

S: Mm.

N: All Kage members are supporting you. Not me, though. But the rest of them do, apparently.

S: Make yourself useful and promote my show.

N: I’ll do you one better. I’ll call Kunoichi and ask them to come to your concert.

S: What?

N: Yeah, I’ll personally pick Sakura-chan up and make sure she’s there.

S: [unintelligible]

N: Sasuke, what?

S: I said you’re an idiot.

(2011) Sakura was reported to have fainted from exhaustion after the last set at Kunoichi’s concert late October 2011. (This was the third time it had happened [that we know of!!!] and it honestly says a lot about what little regard KGE had for their artists.)

Meanwhile, Kage was doing their second to the last fanmeet scheduled in Earth Country. But on that night, Sasuke and Naruto took a red-eye from Iwa to Konoha. There are no pictures, only some K-netizens reports of Sasuke and Naruto entering Konoha General at around 8 am. (Some eyewitness accounts said that Sasuke appeared to be bringing a pillow.) At 10 am the same day, Naruto was spotted in his orange BMW convertible hanging around the KGE building, while Sasuke was nowhere in sight.

It can be surmised that Naruto, being a good friend, accompanied Sasuke so he can visit Sakura. But there’s more.

Konoha General to KGE building is a one-hour drive, but seeing how Naruto got his car and a new set of clothes, he most likely headed to his apartment first, which would add more or less 30 minutes to his journey. If he arrived at 8 am in Konoha General, but was already in KGE building by 10, that would mean he only stayed in the hospital for about 15 to 30 minutes at most.

I imagine what happened was: Naruto accompanied Sasuke from Iwa to Konoha, probably said hi to Sakura for a bit (if she was already conscious by then), and then promptly left them alone to have their moment. :’)

(2011) 30 October. Sasuke’s K-D Magazine photoshoot previews were released. Sakura liked one of the posts from the K-D account. Later, she posted a cute video selfie with heart eyes filter with ねぇ聞こえますか？(Can You Hear Me?) an old love song, playing in the background. Her timeline was probably filled with Sasuke’s pictures that she just had to post some kind of lovey-dovey reaction to it. A few hours later, Naruto commented with a (very knowing) smirking face emoji.

[IMAGE: @narukage_likes]

(2013) 8 August. Naruto posted a picture of two mochi (pink and blue) from Amaguriama, with the caption, “Look how sweet my friends are.” He tagged Sasuke in the blue one. Who else could the pink one be?

[IMAGE: @narukage]

That’s all I know for now. Naruto hasn’t updated his account with anything SS-related since the engagement was announced, which is really odd for him. (Maybe he’s still busy partying because his OTP is canon?) When he posts something, I’ll update this accordingly.

tags: #masterpost, #text post

bl00m asked: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT MASTERPOST!! My life is significantly better because of it! But just wondering, since Sakura and Ino refer to themselves as best friends, do we have an Ino-teasing-Sakura-about-Sasuke moment, too?

Seems to me like Ino is much too professional to tease so I only found a couple. Hope that’s okay.

(2007) K-D Kunoichi Feature (magazine issue published around the time after Kunoichi’s debut):

Q: Out of the four of you, Ino and Sakura were the first ones to sign under KG and become trainees. What were your first impressions of each other? Has it changed now?

Sakura: I thought Ino was full of confidence and charisma and that hasn’t changed until now.

Ino: Sakura used to be really shy and quiet but clearly she has bloomed since then.

Sakura: Having someone my own age really helped, I think. We pushed each other to work and get better. It was kind of a friendly rivalry.

Ino: Yeah, rivalry, not just in terms of work, though. I used to have a crush on another trainee at that time, and then one day, Sakura announced that she—

Sakura: Oh my god! Can we not?

They didn’t outright say that it was Sasuke whom Sakura and Ino were crushing on, but it’s kind of general knowledge that Sasuke was quite popular with the KGE trainees not only because he was the younger brother of Akatsuki’s Uchiha Itachi but because he is good-looking and talented, so it’s not a stretch to assume Ino was talking about Sasuke and was teasing Sakura about it.

(2009) [VIDEO STAR] - Kunoichi (FULL EP) (@14:23):

Izumu: Any music you’re currently listening to?

Tenten: Believe it or not, I’ve been listening to a lot of trot music recently, like Might Guy, and stuff. I like the joy in it and I would like to also bring that kind of energy on stage someday.

Sakura: Creation , the album by Tsunade. I’m interested in albums that have some sort of narrative or a theme that makes everything cohesive, as opposed to trying to make hits after hits and then just compiling them all in the end. She’s certainly not the first to do something like it, but I thought it was groundbreaking for a pop artist, so…

Ino: We like Kage, too, don’t we, Sakura?

Tenten: (laughs)

Sakura: I— Well, everyone likes Kage for sure.

Kotetsu: Right, you did collaborate with them on a song in their album last year.

Sakura: Yeah.

Ino: (quietly) Is that what the kids call it these days?

Tenten: (laughs)

That innuendo, though.

tags: #bl00m, #ask

Anonymous asked: it’s funny reading your posts now and realizing how much it all makes sense like how did no one else (but us) seE THIS COMING??? we’ve endured being called DELUSIONAL for years!!!! i feel so vindicated now so i’m literally never gonna shut up about this LMAO

RIGHT?! I’m sure I’m not the only one who has remained quiet and kept to myself when I’m with other fans because I’m in the minority for shipping Sasuke and Sakura while most of them shipped the boys with each other. I don’t really mind it, but, you know, when it’s real, IT’S REAL.

And it feels so good to be right.

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

Anonymous asked: how’s life for a grown ass adult still projecting on other people’s relationships like ur 13 lmfao

How’s life for someone who has to type with only 2 brain cells?

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

kageyah asked: gawd, what a rude anon that was. don’t let those lowlifes bother you. i’ve been enjoying your recent posts a lot and it’s so fun to see you back again on my dashboard. i missed you sm. ^_^

Kags!! Thank you! I missed you, too! Nah, don’t worry. Sasuke and Sakura are getting married so I’m unfazed and unbothered by virtually anything. Haha!

tags: #kageyah, #ask

lildonut: i love your blog!!!! that masterpost gave me life!!! i was wondering if you have any fic recs?? Thanks <3

Thank you! I don’t really read fics, sorry. I have a very little scope of imagination so reality is enough to keep me interested. But maybe someone here can help you? Anyone?

edit: Thanks, @darliang!!

These, our bodies, possessed by light by RikkudoS — “‘Tell me we’ll never get used to it.’ Sasuke and Sakura through the years. Canon.”

Cherry Bombs by xXxFullMoonxXx — “Double dates are easy enough. That is, until you end up falling for the wrong person. High School AU.”

Of Demos and First Kisses by sugimura — "5 times Sasuke and Sakura wrote songs together and the 1 time they didn’t. Canon."

Under the Same Sky by msshkshmt — “Uchiha Sasuke expects to die in battle. But seeing this pink-haired girl cry for him (again and again), makes him wish that wasn’t the case. Ninjas AU.”

tags: #lildonut, #ask, #fic recs

Anonymous asked: Do you have any idea as to when and how exactly Sasuke and Sakura started dating? Other than the 5 years that Sasuke mentioned in his fan page message? Thanks! Love your blog!

Thanks!

By the way, I love how Sasuke is known to be very private with his personal life and relationships but would, intentionally or not, obliquely reveal details like how they’ve been dating for 5 years already.

Anyway. Well, I can’t really say anything with certainty but if I were to extrapolate and make an *educated guess*, I’d say they probably started dating officially mid to late 2009. As far as I can recall, that’s also when dating gossips about them started popping up. Also the fact that they started wearing matching white gold bands late ‘09-early ‘10 (I’ll make a separate post about this later) just solidified to me that they really did start dating in 2009.

Prior to my projected time, their collaborations have been frequent, starting with Sakura helping to write a song for Kage, and then both of them being featured on each other’s solo projects. And even before that, it’s kind of general knowledge that they’ve been fairly close as trainees (not to mention, Sakura has allegedly been crushing on him before), so they already had that foundation. There’s that mutual respect for each other and each other’s talents that, over the course of their collaborations, probably grew into something more.

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

Anonymous: re: how sasuke and sakura started dating, i would also like to add that since they are the most hardworking out of the members of their respective groups, they are probably the trainees who used to work overtime the most and got close because of it, probably helped and looked out for each other too. sakura used to say dancing wasn’t her strongest suit while it came naturally for sasuke so maybe he helped her with that. conversely, since sakura is reportedly an A+ student, she must’ve helped him with studies as well. they probs already have a mutual understanding but couldn’t be official cuz of the dating ban. ^_^

Ah, I’m actually not entirely sure if the dating ban is real, but what you’ve said is possible. Can’t say anything conclusively, though.

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

Anonymous asked: wher do sassuke and saura have sex???

How tf would I know lol

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

List of alleged Sasuke x Sakura couple items

These are only the more important, more unique items. So don’t bother sending me pictures of them holding identical paper bags from Sannin. They aren’t the only idols who shop from that brand.

***

(2009-2010) White gold band

Sasuke is not that big on accessories. If we do see him fully accessorized, it’s because he is styled for promotional materials, and stage or music video looks. Otherwise, he doesn’t wear much accessories other than a standard watch, etc. That’s why it was so glaringly obvious when he started wearing a white gold band on his left pinky finger (note: pinky = pink = Sakura, lol!) in December 2009, which led fans to speculate if he is in a relationship. Everyone was suddenly on the lookout for a similar ring worn by idols and celebrities. Especially Sakura whom Sasuke was rumored to be dating that year.

Sakura accessorizes quite a bit but has never been seen wearing the said band. That is, until she had a fan meet in March of 2010. Sakura fansite First Love took HQ pictures of her in the event. In one of them, she leaned over while signing an autograph for a fan and consequently revealed the necklace she’s wearing inside her blouse, and behold, the white gold band hanging on it. It took quite a lot zooming in and adjusting the photograph which is why the legitimacy was contentious among fans, but you can see it for yourself here.

[IMAGE: White gold band]

[IMAGE: Sasuke Konoha airport pic white gold band]

[IMAGE: Sakura necklace zoom in]

***

(2011) Chair

Sakura posts a picture of her succulents by the window of her house, the chair from Sasuke’s Heavenly Hand music video is seen in the corner. It’s a one-of-a-kind modern chair by Konoha master carpenter Kanna, so it couldn’t have been a duplicate.

[IMAGE: MV screenshot]

[IMAGE: @sakurah]

***

(2012-2013) Ceramic vase

Sasuke posted a picture of a Hanasaki-style ceramic vase by Masho’s protégé ceramist, Kanyu, which was exhibited and auctioned at Leaf Gallery, and captioned it (now deleted) “Mine.”

[IMAGE: @sasuke_deleted]

The following year, Sakura posted a photo of her bed after a concert tour with the caption “Home Sweet Home.” On the bookshelf on the right side, the same vase is seen. Note the pure white color and cracks on the surface that resemble intertwining flowers.

[IMAGE: @sakurah]

Did he give it to her or was she able to procure an identical one? I’m inclined to believe in the former, but either way, cute.

***

(2013) Chambray shirt

Sakura was photographed at Konoha airport wearing a chambray shirt, which is similar to a shirt that Sasuke was wearing in the behind-the-scenes photo of his album back in 2009. The shirts have an identical tear at the left collar.

According to fashion fansite SakuraCloset, this shirt is from Sannin Men’s chambray shirt. This is how it originally looked on the runway. No tear.

[IMAGE: Sannin RTW F/W 2006]

So it’s either a huge coincidence that Sasuke and Sakura have identical tears on the same brand of shirt, or it’s just the same shirt that they share for some reason*.

*They were dating.

tags: #masterpost, #text post

Anonymous asked: you forgot the beanie that often sasuke wears at airports which was spotted worn by sakura.

You mean in the Road of Life webisode from last year? No, it’s the same color but they’re different. Sakura was wearing a fisherman beanie, while Sasuke usually wears a slouchy one.

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

mindbl0wn: do you know what the strong 100 will be about? Love ur blog ^_^

Sorry, it took a while to answer this. According to these articles (x,x), it’s gonna be a heist film with an all-female cast. Sakura’s appearance will be brief (a cameo maybe?) but apparently she does her own stunts.

tags: #that’s my girl, #mindbl0wn, #ask

Anonymous asked: lol i still keep seeing antis tryna say sakura might be doing it for attention and sasuke is just pity marrying her or using her as a beard to cover up another relationship or sth man i can’t with them anymore

I really worry about people who spread stuff like this. Like, please give your faves the credit they deserve!

Sasuke “ I-take-relationships-very-seriously” Uchiha marrying someone for shits? They can’t even make him forego his IG feed aesthetic to promote his group/members’ stuff, let alone force him to marry someone out of pity or publicity or whatever.

And Sakura. Why would she marry for publicity? She’s already famous and influential on her own, and not to mention, rich from all the songwriting royalties among other things. She doesn’t need clout. Least of all from Sasuke or the Uchiha. Like 90% of the hate directed towards her come from ugly Sasuke/Hoekage stans and weirdos who have conglomerate boners. She need not subject herself to all that.

They are also, by the way, at the height of their respective careers. If they cared all that much about their image, wouldn’t they wait until they’re in their early 30s to marry like most idols? They could potentially be throwing away endorsement deals from brands who prefer celebrities who are single to appease the fans who feel like they have some sort of ownership towards idols.

And yet! And yet despite everything, they chose to make their relationship public in their own terms.

(Also, note the timing of their announcement. It’s a few months after Hatake Kakashi became the new CEO. It’s like the management up until then has been the main reason that has kept them from coming out with their relationship, which is why the ‘secrecy’ of it felt kinda half-hearted and they’ve been [knowingly or not] dropping hints.)

Clearly, they just didn’t care and they couldn’t wait to spend the rest of their lives married to each other. It’s not that deep. You don’t have to like it. But if you love them as you claim, then respect their decision and stop spreading rumors like that.

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

WAIT WHAT

tags: #text post

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

tags: #IS THIS REAL, #AM I DREAMING, #GUYS!!!!!!!!!!, #text post

THEY REALL YDID IT OH MY GODD!!!!11 ;;;

tags: #text post

Un-Follow Me Now, This Is Gonna Be the Only Thing I Post About For The Next Week. Ive Wanted This For Years Fuck. What The Fuck.

tags: #text post

Anonymous: Lol theres still a few months before the wedding date so they might still cancel it and break up lmfao xD

I delayed answering this to avoid jinxing it but guess what, babe:

BREAKING: UCHIHA SASUKE AND HARUNO SAKURA OFFICIALLY GET MARRIED

July 17, 2014

Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura have made it official!

Yesterday, the two were reportedly spotted at the Konoha offices to file for their marriage registration. On July 17, the two officially got married in a private ceremony.

The couple initially announced their engagement last March, with the wedding that was supposed to be held November 5 later this year.

Representatives say that the newlywed couple “opted for a small and private wedding along with their loved ones, in favor of donating the expenses that was supposed to be for their ceremony to the pediatric ward of Konoha General Hospital.”

Uchiha Sasuke is best known as a member and the primary lyricist of boy group Kage under KG Entertainment. Haruno Sakura is known as a member of girl group Kunoichi under the same company. Both have gone on to have successful solo careers.

Congratulations to the happy couple!

source: knewsdaily

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

Sasuke and Sakura: We will get married on November 5 this year.

Also, Sasuke and Sakura: sothatwasafuckinglie.jpg

tags: #WHEN WILL THEY LET ME LIVE!!!!!, #text post

I’M SHAKINGG;;

tags: #REFRESHING EVERY 30 SECS FOR UPDATES, #text post

SAKURA IS SO BEAUTIFUL

tags: #THAT’S IT, #THAT’S THE POST, #text post

Attendees’ social media posts (so far)

Kakashi: posted a photo of the still empty venue, but everything is prepared already. The flower ceiling is especially striking. (There appears to be not more than 30 chairs for the guests. I guess it really is a small wedding.)

“I’m on time for once. #SasuSakuCouple #AmIDoingThisRight #lol”

[IMAGE: @kh_tactics]

Ino: posted picture of Sakura holding a bouquet of Baby’s Breath flowers, smiling contently.

“My baby girl is married! I’m so emotional right now and can’t even form a proper message. I’m proud to have seen you blossom right before my eyes, and I feel lucky to get to call you my best friend. I wish you all the happiness in the world. I love you!”

[IMAGE: @xxinoxx]

Sai: posted a video of Naruto and Kiba having a dance showdown at the reception.

“#lit”

[IMAGE: @sai_00]

Hinata: posted a picture of the flower arrangement at the table.

“Congrats”

[IMAGE: @hinata_hyuuga_official]

Kiba: posted a group selfie of the Kage boys being rowdy, Sasuke and Neji looking unimpressed in the back.

[IMAGE: @kibakage]

Tenten: posted a group selfie of Kunoichi being cute.

[IMAGE: @10ten]

Neji: posted a photoset of miscellaneous aesthetics of the wedding (floral ceiling, the food, the lights, details of Sakura’s veil), and a selfie.

“S/S 2014”

[IMAGE: @neji_]

Itachi : posted (1) a photoset of the groom’s and bride’s parents—first photo is a formal one, on the second one, they’re doing finger hearts.

“#familyphoto”

(2) a picture of the silhouettes of Sasuke and Sakura facing each other, seemingly in a happy conversation.

[IMAGE: @itachiuchiha]

tags: #no update from naruto yet, #king of being late, #masterpost, #text post

I know it’s a private affair and I respect that but...

But would it seriously be too much to ask for a proper picture of the newlyweds??

tags: #i love you itachi-nii but what the heck was that??, #do you need your eyes checked perhaps?, #or am i too pedestrian to appreciate the high art-ness of it, #probably that, #in any case: i need the pics PLEASE, #i’ve been a good person, #i deserve this, #text post

Anonymous: do think it’s possibel that sakura is pregnant that’s why they were so quick to marry. Pls reply

Highly unlikely. She would’ve been showing by now and looking at the photos we’ve seen, her stomach is very much flat. Moreover, she was just shooting an action movie where she does her own stunts. You think they’d allow a pregnant woman to do that?

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

Anonymous: YO DID YOU SEE SAKURA’S UPDATE JUST NOW?!?!??!!111

YES!!!! I’m translating it but I’m trying to wait if Sasuke posts something so I can translate that too and (rightfully) post them together.

tags: #Anonymous, #ask

SASUKE

tags: #text post

Sakura and Sasuke post-wedding social media updates

Sakura posted a pic of their hands with the rings, a bouquet of flowers visible on the side, with the caption:

“Today we got married.

We had deviated from our original plan because we wanted to do something meaningful and more like us. As a result, we have decided to just keep the ceremony quiet but, rest assured, full of love.

I’ve never felt so loved as I do at this moment and that’s in huge part because of all of you who have been congratulating us warmly, and have been so patient and understanding of our decisions every step of the way.

Please continue to look kindly upon us as husband and wife. Thank you.

- Sakura“

[IMAGE: @sakurah]

Sasuke, of course, never does what you expect so he didn’t post a message. Instead, he cleared out three rows of his feed with plain white tiles to have a single picture of Sakura looking beautiful in her wedding dress in the middle. The colored picture especially stands out in his generally grayscale feed.

Moreover, he is now following 1 account: @sakurah.

[IMAGE: @sasuke]

tags: #text post

Masterpost of notable moments of Naruto being the SS fan club president

Note: As promised, here it is. If you have anything else to add, please don’t hesitate to reply/message me.

EDIT: Naruto posted a photoset: (1) the newlyweds smiling arm in arm, Sasuke gazing warmly at Sakura, (2) same as the first but they’re looking at each other and smiling, (3) Naruto gets in the picture to pose with the two.

“Why I believe in love”

[IMAGE: @narukage]

Tags: #MY JOB HERE IS DONE, #update, #masterpost, #text post

END

#apparently u can't underline on tumbl......#so maybe reading on ao3 is cuter but do whatever u please #fic poop #kpop au #this is uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #sasusaku

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