#real life little meow meow shes like i hate him hes my best friend i will provide for him i hate him why is he like that

[punkeropercyjackson]

Weirdboygirl Percy headcanons

(But it's almost entierly me just sharing my friends' because i'm a sap who wants them to be appreciated /lh)

When i say 'weirdboygirl',i mean it-Percy is transfem bigender and autistic with no masking ability based off canon subtext that borderlines on straight up text.He's also afrolatina/monoracial black dominican for the same reason and he's mostly femme but has a decent amount of masc thrown in there for gender fuckery and he's crustpunk with pastel/kidcore elements thrown in

He's a huge gamer who's got his own low cost setup and only dosen't do Lets Plays even though he has a vlog channel because with how he is that's setting himself up for getting viral meme'd

He thinks adult only shows and movies are absolute ass due to being too dark so he watches pg ones only including pre-schooler ones(Bluey is his favorite obviously)and he has no shame in it since he's not a freak about it

She listens to obscure podcasts and rambles about them and she's a part time artist thanks to her and Rachel being queerplatonic besties but she dosen't do grand materpieces and just draws weird shit and same for crafts

Her favorite musicians are nostalgic ex-weirdkid ones like My Chemical Romance and All Time Low and The Cheetah Girls and then it's shit like Everybody's Worried about Owen and The Cure and Meet Me @ The Altar and Metallica and a bunch of transfem artists and general genres they love are Lo-Fi Beats,Breakcore and Punk Rock

Her special interests are blue,video games,kidcore,cats and anarchy.Blue is not Percy's lifestyle but Percy's way of life,she plays only free games and uses an emulator for the rest,kidcore is a huge coping mechanism from her extremely brutal childhood,she employs a lot cat based things in their daily life and even naturally acts like a cat sometimes including a meowing vocal stim and she goes full force in Tales of Dead Seas,a Hoo one year later sequel that's about Percy dismantleing the greco-roman mythos world system starting with killing Zeus and things go up hill for everybody who's not a dickbag from there and this includes Percy gaining new powers even pre-deicide but actually having mentors this time and she actively helps out with activism in addition to all her direct action across all 5 books of her last official story

The only sea related things they love are because Sally does so she raised them in them all the time and they've got mixed feelings on them post claiming because of how awful Poseidon is but they very slowly reclaim it for themselves and the process is given big boost when their egg cracks as they use mermaid/seapunk aesthetics for presentation and their personality a little too and it gives them gender euphoria

They refuse to drink energy drinks that aren't blue colored so they have a whole stash of them and junk food too with a threatning note attached to it,their go to store is unironically Claire's and they made sure to beat the Hot Topic allegations by loud and proud announcing how much they hate them for being sellouts and fakeout freaks and they're neither a skater boy nor a surfer dude because ewww but a guitarist and a multitask helper at the Familia Jackson Beach Shack

He's also Nico and Hazel's eldest sibling figure and pseudo-dad that got them away from Hades forever and Sally legally adopted them so they all live together in the mortal world and stick together as a trio too in the mythos world.He's their caregiver but also their best friend and radicalized them and taught them how to be punks,Nico choosing tradgoth and Hazel pastel goth.Their relathionship is extremely intimate and equally silly but that dosen't mean they never had problems to unpack and fix-Siblings aren't perfect but real siblings are the ones who try to be anyway and don't expect eternal forgiveness regardless.That's what makes us siblings,not JUST blood

And they healed his inner child a lot just by hanging out with him and loving him and letting him take full responsibility in their best friendship and on the other end there's nobody who's helped Nico and Hazel heal and be stronger and be themselves like Percy has.They're eachother's whole world and multiverse and rubbed off on eachother significantly(Nico and Percy's love for video games,Percy and Hazel's artistry,Hazel and Nico's taste in food,all three of their love for kiddy things)and Percy helps Hazel with girls

He was Warrior Cats kid and gets back into it as an adult and loves it even more and yes,he roleplayed it his classmates during recess yet they pretended they hadn't and mocked and animalized him for years because how long his hyperfixation it is lasted and that's why he gave it up in his teenage years but returned to it and reclaimed the catlike behavior it gave him as autistic swag

Percy's five love languages:Humor,comfort,justice,unrestrained fun and diy'd gifts.All giving and recieving and none strictly platonic or romantic,Love is stored in the Percy

She knows how to diy so many things it's a running gag and includes things that don't exist,her biggest comfort characters are:Cookie Monster,Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy(she's a huge Flutterdash stan so she refuses to seperate them),Brandy's Cinderella,Shego,Cookie Nessa and Marina from Nintendo,Yang Xiao Long,Katara,Sonic The Hedgehog,Amy Rose and the Adventure Time Cast as a whole and her type is other autistic afrolatinos/afrolatinas who're pastel punk to her crustpunk

He (jokingly) kins Hobbie Brown and Gwen Stacy and looks like she could be Hobie's older brother

She acts and talks in ways people find offputting and strange but by now she's learned to stop being ashamed and happily embraced that she'll never be normal but that that dosen't mean she's not loved dearly and by so many people and realized that's what she truly wanted from the start instead of not being different from everyone else.Because she's the most awesome as all fuck person ever

RIZZ CITYYYYYYYYYY,HE'S FROM MANSHATTAN

[explosionshark]

For Character Game: Faith, obviously.

General opinion/How much I care about them: she IS my poor little meow meow! My favorite character after Buffy herself. A deeply sad gay girl with a rough home life who can't quite tell the difference between love and power and wants them both so badly she ruins her own life about it? Fucks over the girl she's in love with in her rage and desperation? Undergoes a redemption arc underscored by penitent suffering? Fucking catnip for me. Good lord.

A ship I love: YOU ALREADY KNOOWWWW

A non-romantic relationship that I love: Faith and Angel! They're best friends! He's her Murderers Anonymous Sponsor! They give each other pep talks and have a deeply fucked up sense of shame that they can never overcome only mitigate through perpetually atonement! WOOO!

The NOTP: idk. I think the only thing that I really hate the idea of is Wesley/Faith.

My biggest headcanon about them: I feel like there's a fine line between true HC and 'details implied by canon that I have decadently elaborated on in my own mind.' One thing I have no real basis for but like the idea of is that Faith's birth dad is alive, but went to prison very young for something violent. Maybe even a murder charge. In my HC she never really knew him but "you're just like your father" was the exact type of thing her mom would say to make her feel horrible. I like the idea of this weighing down on years later when she's doing time herself. Someday I'll use it in a fic, I'm sure.

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: (if I have none in my WIPs I'll make one up on the spot!) I've got this one premise that doesn't really even have a full story behind it yet (though it DOES have a title) but - I like the idea of Faith getting dosed with a truth spell (probably s4? Could be S3 though or s7). But instead of doing the goofy love confession angle it's a terrifying metaphor for consent, because I think there probably isn't anything in the world scarier for Faith than the idea of being forced into vulnerability she can't control. I think if we're doing S3 or s4 it presents an interesting conflict for Buffy too - she could use the advantage to find out what Faith is up to, but could she live with herself after? Idk. I haven't worked this one all the way out but I've been rolling it around in my head for like two years now.

Something that makes me think of them: (a song, a character in another fandom, an animal, anything) "I Got Punched in the Nose for Sticking My Face in Other People's Business" by Boys Night Out (""Baby the blood's already been spilled / and no amount of crying will wash the red from your guilty hands") makes me go fuckin craaaazyyyy as a Faith track

[crappy-homestuck-confessions]

MY hot take about Vriska that no one asked for is that she's just disappointing. Like she gets So Much Time And Focus and she does So Many Things that are crucial to the plot and the progression of various characters, but it is so disproportionate in comparison to every other troll and even some of the human kids. Therefore the time spent on her had better be justified. You better make us enjoy our time while she's onscreen. Either we're interested in how fucked up she is, we yell raucously about how much we hate her, or we cradle her in our arms like a poor little meow meow, and Vriska Serket inspires None Of This in me.

She gets just enough development and we are given just enough opportunities to sympathize with her that we understand her and we get what her fucking deal is, but the shit she does and says is way too awful for me to ever like her, so it becomes this Net 0 Emotional Investment because I don't enjoy hating her either because she's not some glorious cackling center of villainy and hubris that I wish to see fall, that's Caliborn. I LOVED Caliborn everytime he was on page, he's a phenomenal villain I want to squeeze him until his stupid glass doll eyes pop. I want to write an AU where he and Callie are a silly little cherry limeade duo who somehow fucking Actually Made Things Work fully in spite of their fated animosity. He's AWFUL and I love watching Hussie smack talk him to his face through an arbitrarily frustrating computer modem radio tower thing.

Vriska is an intentionally bad protagonist because That's The Irony; she's a light player and she's shaped her entire personality around being the coolest and the best and the center of everything, but in doing so she's made herself an awful friend and a bad person who's Very Un-Protagonist-Like. But she's a bad *antagonist* because she's never actually framed as An Antagonist, she is simply antagonistic by a cruel stroke of bad luck that her life was set out to be lived on Alternia where she must blah blah blah EVERYONE is on alternia bitch, Get Over Yourself you are SO pretentious and not even in a fun way!!! In an annoyingly realistic way!!!!!

She's written as a real person in contrast to all these cartoonish personalities literally everyone else on the cast has. Everyone but Vriska in Homestuck is SO much more entertaining than her because she's written to be a normal girl in a fucked up situation while John is written to be a riff on The 90's Everykid who's encountering some truly absurd bullshit for the first time in his life. It's no secret Vriska's Hussie's favorite, and because of that, she gets so much focus and fleshing out and narrative weight that she Does Not Need.

Vriska would be better if there was less of her just Point Blank, because then we'd have a lot of potent moments where we see how monumentally messed up this kid who's constantly trying to keep all the randomness and peril in her life under her control is. Vriska being this awful person who everyone agrees is awful but who they keep around 'cause she's not awful ALL of the time and some of the group has unfortunately formed a deep attachment to her meanwhile she's constantly doing her 'All according to keikakku' shit would be WAY less disappointing as a central character. Also give other people who Aren't Her some of her consequential shit, the distribution is WAY too disproportionate.

(did not expect this to go on as long as it has whoops)

.

[juniperhillpatient]

thank you for tagging me @kiki-strike !! <33

10 characters 10 fandoms 10 (ish) tags!

1. Azula ATLA - she's a girlboss. she's a pathetic poor little meow meow. she's a manipulative mastermind. she's a socially awkward wreck. she's a child soldier whose mother left her & who's father treated her like a weapon. she's the most formidable villain the heroes have ever faced. i love her

2. Ashley Graves TCOAAL - a controversial pick MAYBE but I love to see a demon-worshipping cannibal queen winning (committing unspeakable acts but it's ok because her mom didn't love her & also she is baby have u considered that?) i think ashley should be allowed to commit all the atrocities she wants as a treat on the grounds that her parents were so awful they left her to starve to death & before that, pretended not to notice when she & her brother accidentally killed a girl in middle school

3. Natalie Scatorcio, Yellowjackets - 2 cannibal queens in a row I must have a type <3 I love a tragic hero who is also a violent, dangerous & unstable individual. forgiveness is a nice idea but my poor doomed antler queen will never live to see it... she was a gentle soul (ignore the atrocities) who never got to see a single moment of peace or gentleness in her life

4. Sam Carpenter, Scream - it was nearly impossible for me to pick between my best girls Sidney, Emma, & Sam for this list but I have to go Sam. she's the daughter of a serial killer. she enjoys stabbing people. she sees visions of her dead dad telling her to kill but she loves her friends & her sister more than anything. i adore my dangerous & violent but also oh so sweet babygirl

5. Faith Lehane Buffy the Vampire Slayer - listen, Buffy is the obvious choice for the best character in Buffy OFC. but have you considered. faith is broken & hurt & a little crazy with jealousy & obsession with buffy. she's the dark slayer. she has a dynamic with the wacky evil demonic town mayor that mirrors buffy's relationship with her wholesome (mostly. sometimes demon rebelly) librarian mentor as the dark side of the coin. she's never had anyone pick her first & it kills her but she pretends she doesn't care. i'd die for her

6. Baby Firefly - this time not a confirmed cannibal but my girl is into corpse desecration & necrophilia so I think this is a great list that proves I have excellent taste in fictional characters. "there is no wrong. if someone needs to be killed you kill 'em! that's the way :)"

7. Beth Salinger, Hostel 2 - fave final girl my bestie had a hot lesbian enemies to almost lovers to beheading you & playing soccer with the head dynamic with an evil secret society member who tried to lure her to her death. she also cut off the penis of the man who dared to fuck with her & fed it to a dog so like what more can you even want from a character <3

8. Dennis Reynolds IASIP - having dennis as my fave is soo embarrassing he's such a basic fave but genuinely he's SO fucking pathetic & sad beneath the layers of fake manipulative suave cool rich kid that he thinks he conveys (he doesn't). he's literally just a sad little girl who falls apart & curls up on he ground crying when things get overwhelming. everyone who doesn't understand him thinks he's a mastermind serial killer but they are FALLING FOR HIS ACT

9. Katherine Pierce TVD - THEY HATE TO SEE A GIRLBOSS WINNINGGGGGGG (I don't know Scarlet Witch but I think it's funny to steal the description for #9 for Katherine from the person who tagged me in this hehe) anyway it's funny for me to pick Katherine when I named my cat damon & I have a ginormous shirtless poster of ian somerhalder literally over my bed I'm looking at it right now BUT hear me out. Katherine is my real fave. unforgivable villain who always chooses herself first & also mirrors the protagonist & also she was just a girl once too, a pregnant, scared young girl. if the writers cared about me specifically at all we would've gotten a spin off of Katherine & her daughter instead of what we got

10. Annie Edison Community - much like with buffy the vampire slayer & buffy summers, there is a correct answer to which community character is objectively the best & it's obviously abed. BUT my subjective fave that I latch onto is annie. she's just so babygirl. she had a nervous breakdown in high school because she was always too perfect. she's just out of rehab for adderall when we meet her but it's mostly only referenced or flashed back to as a joke. we never meet her parents but the quotes she references from them are deeply disturbing if you turn off the laugh track & pay attention. she has a fucked up relationship with her good older male friend because #daddy issues. she is obsessed with true crime. there's a monkey named after her boobs. she's the ONLY member of the study group who could've EVER lived with troy & abed & incorporated herself into their dynamic the way she does in episodes like foosball & nocturnal vigilantism. my girl is so silly & a little crazy <3

anyway

thank u for the tag i love rambling about my fave characters!!

I tag: @missjessefantastico, @theowritesfiction @dont-leafmealone, @peony-pearl, @stalker-among-the-stars @bearsandbeansart @chasingfictions @hello-nichya-here, @lunaintheskyforever, @gathering0gloom, @jctko, @jet-apologistmybadhomies, @745voiceofthepeople, @prodogg, @matchamarshmallow

ok if you wanted to be tagged please just say I tagged you also no pressure to the people I tagged it's just for fun if u want :)

[purplelea]

did anybody give you the obligatory twewy ask yet?

THANK YOU!!! Nope, the only two asks I got were from my kh mutuals, so they didn't ask me that XD

ANYWAY. LET THE FUN BEGIN

Blorbo

Neku 100%. CALL ME BASIC ALL YOU WANT, BUT NEKU FUCKING RULES OKAY?? He's everything to me. He's just a guy. He got shot thrice. He's a fashion disaster. He tried to kill the person who is now his best friend. He's a mom friend. He's so powerful he can one-shot Minamimoto. He's a walking stick. He's friends with the local divine being. I love him.

Neku "best character development ever seen in a video game" Sakuraba. Also he's a bi icon.

Scrunkly

SHIKIIIII

She's. sooooo shaped. The girl ever. Almost gets killed and then goes "whoops my bad it was my fault anyway hehe". Her self-esteem is lower than the Mariana Trench. She's so obsessed with details and clothing that she forces a guy she met 4 days before to strip in the middle of the street. Her stuffed cat will make you eat your words if you talk shit about her. Scolds Neku like a preschool student when he tries to fight the final boss without her and Beat. Calls him a chicken when he runs away too much from fights. Absolute Queen.

and... BEAT!!!

I had to put my boy somewhere. And he's so shaped too so. That works. Fun fact: He's actually the most consistent character alongside Kariya and Uzuki in the twewy franchise. These three really go together, I love them. ANYWAY. I love Beat. If you don't, get out of my house. In this blog we love and support Daisukenojo "Beat" Bito, proud owner of zero (0) braincells because he gave them all to his sister when she was born, and of a heart of pure gold. And a really cool skateboard. Never forget the skateboard.

Beat is just the sweetest guy ever. He also gives the best hugs and that's a canon fact because I said so.

Scrimblo bimbo

SHUTO DAN, AKA SHOOTER, THE BEST SLAMMURAI IN TOWN (DUH DUH DUUUUUH)

Also called "the tin pin guy" by anyone who doesn't even remember his nickname. The number of people who actually know his real name could be counted in one hand I think. Anyway! I love him!! He's so cool!!! He's just there and he wants to play Beyblade with everyone!! He's 10 years old and he can't draw to save his life! He's super dedicated and always looking to improve! He's also a really good and fair player and accepts his defeat without contesting it- which is something super important and really cool to see especially considering his young age.

Glup Shitto

ERI. THE FASHION QUEEN. Do you guys have ANY IDEA how MAD I am because we didn't see her in neo??? "It was to avoid spoilers about Shiki in the first gam-" FUCK YOU. GIVE ME THE GIRL. She's so great. We saw her for like 5 dialogues in the og, 4 scenes in the anime but I will never ever stop talking about her. She envied Shiki just as much as Shiki envied her. She loves Shiki just as much as Shiki loves her. She met Shiki and saw her as the most talented girl she ever met. And then Shiki died, and Eri was ready to give up on her dream because it didn't have any sense now that Shiki was gone. She went to put flowers on Shiki's grave everyday because she didn't want her best friend to be lonely. She probably pushed Shiki to make Mr Mew the face of their brand- and it worked! The bestie ever.

Poor little meow meow

Haha. This is the tricky question. Previous ones were easy to guess, but this one? Man how alone I feel in this fandom... AS A HAZUKI STAN >< yep. Hazuki Mikagi, a well known mass murderer, famous for wearing crocs and for his excessive use of the word "friend" as punctuation in too many sentences and with people that are absolutely not his friend. People hate him for killing people, which, in all honesty, is absolutely fair and understandable, but I love him for his character development. "What character development are you fucking talking about Léa" well dear reader, may I offer you this link that will take you to my little character study of my favourite mass murderer so you may understand more what I meant. Enjoy~

Horse Plinko

Here I will put Joshua, because it's always fun to torture Joshua (the whole fandom can agree on this) and also because I've always been too nice with him in my fics (with one exception hehehe) So yeah. Get in the plinko twink <3

Eeby Deeby

I actually can't remember who I meant to put in here. I think he was a Player? No, a Reaper... Urg, why can't I remember? Oh well, I'm pretty sure you see who I mean.

Ask game: give me any fandom!

[crimsun-n-clover]

i get kin assigned characters constantly

“you remind me of crowley goodomens”

“you’re sooo like eddie strangerthings”

“has anyone ever told you that you remind them of jon magnusarchives?”

“you look like dream sandmancomics haha”

“southpark goth kid”

fuckin etc etc with anyone who’s a gay edgelord loser.

you wanna know who i REALLY relate to??

—zuul / vince clortho ghostbusters - evil demon dog muppet thing that’s really horny for sigourney weaver. breathes like it also has POTS and lives in a fridge sometimes. fucks around and finds out. inconvenienced? turns to stone.

—lego batman - loser but funny and deadpan enough for it to be passable. miserable and likes objectively bad music. fuckin bats. lives in the dark and is nocturnal. will adopt some random sad kid that crosses my path as my own and take them to sketchy places because hey, we’re here for a good fucking time kid.

—luke skywalker - gay hillbilly who befriends insane old people. too much like his father. just wants to drive around in his shitty little car and move out. pretty girl says something and he just goes okay that’s my purpose now. will steal shit if necessary. gets bored and overthrows the empire. will make deals at a bar with some rando criminal and suddenly whoops ride or die bestie

—samwise gamgee - so meow meow. so dyke. so hopelessly devoted. loves plants and some light drinking. holds serious fucking grudges. thinks the weird pretty little brunette is hot, snoops on him a little, suddenly is taking the ring to mordor because he knows too much. yeah sounds about right. not to get into his actual character or anything but DAMN that shit gets too real sometimes.

—daria mtvdaria - bitch with one friend. music nerd and total asshole, but in an autistic way. everyone around her either thinks she’s weird or almost admires her ability to just be so indifferent to social norms. parents push her in the wrong direction in an attempt to better her.

list to be continued.

now let me give some counter arguments.

—crowley goodomens - i may be a sunglasses indoors, all black wearing queer, who presents as any and all genders whenever, is kinda evil but in a campy disney villain way, raises bitchy kids, is very attached to their car, drives too fast, is a queen / velvet underground superfan, fucking WHATEVER. my polar opposite oldest best friend i was in love with hates my fucking guts. so SUCK IT. i WIN. and also i’m temporarily banned (self imposed, no one controls me but ME) from the velvet underground and queen because that shit gets too real when you’re gay and heartbroken. don’t fucking look at me right now man i can’t do this shit

—eddie strangerthings - really?? the cult of vecna??? temple of elemental evil is where it’s AT. he may have kiddos like me but he doesn’t LOVE THEM LIKE ME. i simply cannot see him taking sweet sweet lucas sinclair (who has done nothing wrong ever. in his entire life.) to waffle house. i do also have a rivalry with the basketball captain and therefore the whole team, but they only tried to hunt me down once and i intimidated them by chugging condiments. i play bass like a REAL sexy metalhead. and megadeth is better than metallica i don’t fucking CARE what you think. my battle jacket is way more kickass and i would love the smack the shit out of him for making dungeons and dragons “ohh!! that’s the stranger things game!!! the eddie game!!!!” and also people assume i’m talking about him when i bring up EVH. no. NO.

—jon magnusarchives - yeah okay maybe. skeptical asshole who’s that way to cope. you can’t explain it? i sure can. there’s something wrong with you. i’d at least like to think that i’m less of a dick and more sympathetic than him. also georgie is SO my type i would NOT be able to live with her as a fugitive like it’s nothing. rough exterior, cat loving and book nerd interior. but at least i’d be a hunt avatar. put fear into people the way i’ve felt it. the eye is kinda lame unless you’re an avatar and can just know shit. and when i find an author i like i immediately eat up everything they’ve ever written i don’t fucking care i love seeing common themes. also i would never talk shit about poetry it’s so fun

—dream sandmancomics - this one is mostly based on appearance and i haven’t finished the comics so like idk man but i feel like i’m better than him. just because.

[your--isgayrights]

Hmm rereading my own fic moment. On ch 4 and hsy and kdj are besties I think.

[hispipsqueak]

Good Little Pet

Satan x F!Reader - NSFW

WC: 2.5K

TW: pet play, anal play, choking, master/pet dynamics, maid outfits, light degradation, unprotected sex

A/N: I’ve been on a huge Satan kick lately. I roast the hell out of him, but would I still die to be his kitten? You bet! Sorry I’ve been MIA for a bit. I have so many fics I’m working on, and not enough time in the day. Thank you for all the support friends. <3 I see your tags and they honestly make my entire life! Also I did proofread this, but I’ve also been staring at it for a week so plz don’t hate me if there’s typos! :D 

All characters are 18+

The House of Lamentation had been unusually relaxed today. Most of the brothers were out, leaving only three home. Surprisingly the room was mostly silent as Levi had his headphones on as he played his game and even Mammon had been quiet, as he fiddled with his D.D.D. 

Satan thumbed through a mystery novel as he sipped his tea. Though he usually preferred to read in his room, the ambience here was relaxed enough for once, that he could focus.

Until the door opened and Asmodeus walked in, dragging you behind him laughing. The two of you had been out shopping and the stack of boxes you held towered above you.

"Ah, Satan could you help me with this?" You asked, giggling about something Asmo had said. Sighing as he placed his bookmark, Satan reached over to help you with the boxes, revealing your smiling face and the cat-ear headband you had on top of your head.

"Satan, isn't MC adorable as a cute cat?! Nya for us MC!" Asmo asked. You rolled your eyes, but put your hand up in a paw shape, letting out a sweet "nya". Satan's eyes widened and he could feel heat rising into his cheeks. He quickly turned around.

"Uh, yes of course. I'll be going back to my room." He placed the boxes on the floor and hurried away as you and Asmo looked at each other confused.

Satan closed his door behind him and pressed his back to the wooden frame. 

Satan often considered himself to be more level headed than most of his brothers, but he couldn't deny his attraction to you. Still, he showed less emotion outwardly than the rest of the brothers and he prided himself in that. However, seeing you in those cat ears, giving cute little meows as your eyes gazed up at him? Satan could feel his growing erection tenting his pants. 

He had seen one of Levi's games a while back that featured a cat girl in a scantily clad maid outfit on the front cover. Now, he pictured you in the same outfit, cat ears atop your head, your skimpy dress leaving little to the imagination as you knelt in front of him, your lips parted waiting for your master's orders.

Fuck. He let out a shaky breath as the image of you bent over his desk, collared and begging for him to fuck you now entered his mind. His hand slid down to his throbbing cock, desperately wanting release. 

A knock at the door interrupted him.

"Satan? You left your book and your tea. I brought it for you." Your voice called out, tentatively.

Shit. Satan looked around wildly. before sitting at his desk to hide his obvious arousal. 

"Come in." He called out hoarsely, hoping you didn't notice the quiver in his voice.

You opened the door, still wearing those damned ears and looked concerningly at him.

"Are you feeling alright? You rushed out of there and your face is really red." You placed his things on the desk as you walked towards him, avoiding the precarious stacks of books around the room. He quickly grabbed a book from the top of a pile and placed it on his lap as you approached him. 

"I'm fine, just got lost in thought." He lied. You raised an eyebrow but didn't press it. The pile of books next to him chose that moment to clatter to the ground and before he could react, you knelt down in front of him to pick up the fallen books. 

He looked down at you and bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. You looked up at him innocently, identical to the naughty visions of you in his mind. 

You placed a hand on his knee and he let out a low groan. Your eyes widened.

"Satan? I-"

"Come down for dinner!" Asmo's voice chirped out from outside the door. You stood up and turned.

"Do you want me to let them know you're not feeling well? I can bring you something back."

Satan nodded. He had to really take care of the very pressing issue at hand and knew he wouldn't be able to sit through an entire agonizing meal.

----

"Pass the salt, Asmo."

"I didn't hear a 'nya', MC." Asmo giggled, poking his tongue out at you. Your hand flew to your hair. 

"I forgot I had these on!" You laughed.

"Let's hope Satan doesn't see those." Levi muttered.

You cocked your head. "What do you mean."

Levi's face flushed. "Uh...no reason, er, nothing!!!"

You narrowed your eyes at the reddening demon.

"Satan's obsession with cats doesn't stop at real cats. Didn't he get obsessed with that stupid cat girl game?" Belphie yawned, sliding his half-finished plate to Beel who dug in happily.

"You mean Neko Magic Maid♡. It wasn't even that good of a game!" Levi said, "It definitely wasn't as good as SuperStar Magic Maid…"

"Yeah. I don't think he was interested in the storyline." Mammon interjected, laughing.

Lucifer scolded the brothers for being crass but your mind wandered. Was that why Satan was acting so weird? After dinner, you headed to Levi's room.

"Hey Levi! I was wondering more about that game you were talking about? The catgirl one?"

Levi didn't even turn from his computer screen. "Yeah it's on that shelf. But if you really like the Magic Maid series you should start with Springtime Magic…AHHH HE'S RESPAWNED!" He yelled, ignoring you again for the game he was currently playing.

You grabbed the game and slipped out of his room quietly. Glancing at the cover you saw a cat girl dressed in a ridiculously short maid costume. Her ears and tail were perked up and she donned a black collar around her neck with a little bell and tag that read 'Master'.

You grinned as you headed to your room. This would be fun.

----

"Satan?" 

"Come in."

Satan turned the page in his book.  Thankfully after that disastrous night, you hadn't worn that headband again, though he'd be lying if he said the image from you that day hadn't been filling his mind as he jerked his cock each night.

He heard you step into the room, but you didn't say anything. Looking up, his jaw dropped.

You were dressed in a maid outfit somehow more revealing than the one from the game. Your breasts were practically popping out of the dress, and the short skirt barely covered your ass. He could see the slight bulge of your thighs over top of your sheer thigh-high socks and he had the urge to bite that spot over and over.

You had the cat ears on again and as you walked towards him, he could hear a jingling noise. Glancing at your neck he saw a simple black collar with his name on the tag and a silver bell. 

"MC what are you doing?" He breathed out shakily. You placed your hand on his chest, gently pushing him into his desk chair.

"Taking care of you…Master." You knelt down on the floor and looked at him expectantly. 

Satan blinked rapidly. He had to be dreaming. 

"Can I please you, Master?" You asked. He nodded, at a loss for words, and you began to unbutton his pants, freeing his rapidly hardening cock. Your hands wrapped around it squeezing, and you slowly moved up and down. Satan let out a groan.

You moved closer, pressing your lips to the tip of his cockhead before lapping at the beads of precum from the slit. You slid his length into your warm, wet mouth and looked into his eyes, swirling your tongue around his cock. This elicited another grunt from the blonde demon.

As you bobbed up and down on his length, he rested his hand on your hair, gently pushing you deeper on his cock. You moaned around him and the vibrations made his heart race. He looked down at you, and noticed the tail that led to under your skirt. 

The realization set a switch off in his brain. He bucked his hips, forcing more of his cock into your mouth.

"Ohhhh fuck. That's it kitten. You like choking on Master's cock?" He asked, his fingers gripping tightly to your hair. You could only gag around him as a response, and the noises you let out were absolutely sinful.

"Such a good little pet. Your throat is squeezing me so well, kitten. But you can go deeper, can't you? Don't you want to please your master?" He asked. 

Frantically you nodded and forced even more of him down your throat, trying your best to breathe out of your nose. As you tried to pull back, his grip tightened, holding you firmly in place. Your eyes watered as you felt his cock throb in your throat and your vision blurred, from tears or lack of oxygen, you weren’t sure. He pulled back and you gasped for air, tear streaked face looking up at him. Satan panicked, apologies already forming in his head before you grinned and pulled him back into your mouth.

“Fuuuuck, such a good kitten. Addicted to master’s cock.” Satan groaned out, his eyes closing as you found your pace on his length. He could feel his release creeping up on him, a fiery feeling in the core of him as your mouth enveloped his cock. The room filled with soft pants and the jingling of the bell around your neck. He met your eyes as you continued to take him deeper. He wouldn’t last much longer if you kept like this. 

“That’s it kitten, that’s it. You want master’s milk? Want your cute belly full of your master’s cum? Tell me, kitten.”

You whined around him, releasing his cock from your lips. 

“Please master. Need to please you. Want your cum.” Your eyes were glassy with tears and drool dripped down the corners of your plump lips. Satan wished he could snap a picture of you looking so lewd.

“Good girl. Milk my cock kitten. Milk my fucking cock.” He gasped as you sped up around him, sloppier and more vigorously than before. Spit coated your chin and spilled onto his thighs as you wrapped your tongue around his cock.

“FUCK! Fuck, just like that!! Oh fuck, cumming!! Take it all, kitten. Fucking take it.” Satan wailed, his muscles tensing as he shot load after load down your throat. You struggled to swallow everything, with some dripping off your lips. Breathing hard, he scooped it with his finger, pushing it back into your mouth.

“Don’t waste a drop kitten.”

You sucked on his finger, a content smile on your face. He reached down, tugging your wrists and pulling you to your feet.

“You didn’t think we were done, did you kitten? Oh no...I want to explore every little bit of you.” He whispered, bending you over his desk. Flipping up your skirt he admired as the tail slid into your ass and gently tugged it, pulling a low moan from you.

“Such a naughty kitten. I can’t wait to fill all your holes with my seed.” He said, his hand palming your ass, before smacking you hard. You jolted forward with a soft whimper. He tugged at your tail again, chuckling as you squeezed your thighs together.

“I’ve barely touched you and you’re already squirming.” His fingers pressed against your drooling cunt. “Already this wet, just from a few tugs on your tail? What a slutty little pet you are.”

You moaned as he pressed his fingers into your cunt, the slick arousal easily letting him into you. He slowly pumped in and out of you as you attempted to grind against his palm, whining when he gripped your hips, stilling you.

“Look at you, kitten. Debasing yourself just to get off. How filthy.” His voice was sadistic and yet your body trembled with desire under his touch. Your brain was hazy with his fingers rhythmically plunging into you and all you wanted was for him to use you for his pleasure. 

“Please Master. Please touch me.” You pleaded, squeezing your thighs together as he pulled his fingers out of you. He pushed you down on the desk, as he pressed his cockhead against your entrance.

“Beg.”

“Please fuck me master. Please let me cum around your cock. I need you so bad, sir – FUCK!”

Satan slammed his cock into you, causing you to cry out. His hand gripped your hip as he fucked himself deeper into you. 

“Scream as loud as you want kitten, no one is going to hear you through the spells in this room. You’re clenching around me so deliciously, pet.” His fingertips bruised your skin and papers and books were knocked off the desk as he slammed into you over and over.

Your body shook and you felt so full with his cock in your pussy and the plug in your ass. You felt stretched to your limit and still he pressed on, fucking you until you saw stars.

“I can feel the pressure of your tail plug through your delicious cunt, kitten. Doesn’t it feel good to be so full? You’re such a lewd little kitten, aren’t you?” As he taunted you with his words, his fingers danced around your clit, causing your legs to feel like they were giving out. Relentless, he continued pounding into you as tears fell from your eyes.

“So, so full. So good, master! Your cock is so perfect, Master.” you babbled, your brain delirious with lust. The fire burning in your core was so overwhelming, your body ached for more and you needed him, needed your master to push you over that peak.

Satan growled, feeling his demon form activate. His tail wrapped itself around your neck, holding you in place as he wrecked you.

“Your lewd little pussy is fluttering around my cock, kitten. Are you going to cum for me? Are you going to cum for your master’s cock?” He panted out. He was close, apparent as his thrusts became harder and faster.

“Yes please Master. Let me cum on your cock!” You choked out, his tail tightening around your throat. Your eyes fluttered as you felt back arch.

“Cum for me, pet.”

That was all it took. You wailed as your cunt clenched around him, creaming around his cock. Your body convulsed and you felt dazed as you gushed around him. 

“Fuck, kitten!” He groaned out. His hand slammed you down as he unloaded into you. He was so deep, you could practically feel his cum in your belly as he shot ropes of his hot seed into your body over and over. After what felt like a lifetime, he slowly slid out of you.

Picking you up he delicately placed you on his bed, wiping aways the traces of cum that dripped onto your thighs. He gently worked your tail plug out and placed it on the desk before covering you with his sheets. 

“You did so good for me, kitten.” He whispered into your skin. Your eyes were too heavy to open, so you just smiled sleepily and curled into his chest. Running his hand through your hair, he undid the cat ear clips and placed them on his nightstand before succumbing to exhaustion, his whispered words barely audible.

“Good little pet.”

[flightfoot]

Digimon

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Ken Ichijouji, obviously. He was the first character I ever got really attached to. I hated him at first in a "he's the villain who literally kicks puppies and torments and enslaves digimon and shoves Wormmon around" way, but then he was defeated, broke through the Dark Spore's conditioning (not that I knew about that at the time), realized that digimon are real and not just a video game, and went into a dissociative episode, trying to piece himself back together, and somehow make up for what he did. The other Digidestined slowly accepting him, him making friends? Just felt GOOD. Especially with that scene in the finale, with his "greatest wish" apparently being seeing himself as the Digimon Emperor being tied to a Control Spire and murdered by the digimon he hurt, and having Sam appear there as well... only to find out that it was all an illusion, and declare that he's paid for his mistakes, he's not going to continue to punish himself, and his friends all appearing to cheer him on. It was a really powerful moment.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Wormmon. That poor digimon, but one who has a lot of faith in his partner - to the point of being badly hurt, unfortunately. But eventually, he realizes that he best thing he can do for Ken, is to fight against him, against who he's become.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Sam. He's a posthumous character, but one with a MAJOR impact on Ken. I love reading fics with him. He was a bit of a jerk to Ken, with the way he yelled at him and slapped his hand away from the Digivice, but he was ALSO an eleven year old kid who was under an insane amount of pressure from his parents, and well... he did something that I'm betting he would've regretted later. Ken recognizes it too, what with following in his shoes as a child prodigy.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Milleniummon. I was SO INCREDIBLY EXCITED that he was the Big Bad in Digimon Adventure 2020, he's the perfect fit for the role! He's really obscure, only appearing on-screen in the show for a grand total of like, 5 seconds in a flashback, and DYING in that flashback, but in those five seconds he shapes the entire story of Digimon Adventure 02. Plus there are the Ryo games which give four games worth of backstory to the guy - sort of, they are only loosely canon - and it means I'm incredibly excited to see him! Unfortunately in Digimon Adventure 2020 he's a pretty generic powerhouse, he doesn't actually have much personality to speak of, which was highly disappointing. Good choice of Big Bad, but not a great execution of one.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

Impmon. Yes, something not related to Ken, I do like other characters - I just have a heavy preference for the boy.

Impmon goes through quite the character arc, from being a petty annoyance of a minor bully, who torments others just so he feels less pathetic, to being a sort-of friend, ish, to the Tamers... and then being beaten so badly in a fight that he picks with someone who FAR outmatches him that he nearly dies, and makes a Deal with the Devil to get power... and then goes a bit mad with it, and agrees to follow through and try to murder all the Tamers, and ends up murdering Leomon, Jeri's partner, right in front of her eyes - and she ALREADY had to cope with her mother dying and her father being an oppressive dick to her ever since, and blaming herself for her mother's death, even when it had nothing to do with her.

And then when Gallantmon prepares to kill him, this girl, who he'd threatened to kill, and whose partner he just murdered in front of her eyes, who's sobbing her eyes out, begs for his life - not because he doesn't deserve it, but because she doesn't want to cause any more deaths, she couldn't bare another one (this poor girl, she's not responsible for any of this).

Which leads him to have a BSOD, barely being able to comprehend that she'd do that, would save him like that, would ask him to be spared. So he limps off, and purposely gets himself attacked until he de-digivolves back down to his original rookie form, the one he was so desperate to escape. The power wasn't worth it.

And STILL, the Tamers go back for him, bring him with them to the Real World.

And then everything happens with Jeri being kidnapped by the D-Reaper so it can feed on her depression, despair, and hopelessness, and Impmon - well, Beezlemon now - doing everything in his power to save her, wanting desperately to do SOMETHING to make up for what he did. He even succeeds at breaking into the bubble where she's being held captive, reaches out his hand to pull her out... and she doesn't take it. She's incredibly out of it and thinks it's Leomon saving her, especially since he used Leomon's attack... the one he acquired because he absorbed Leomon. And when she realizes its Beezlemon, the digimon who murdered her partner, she freezes and shakes, unable to make herself take his hand, too traumatized to do it, all while he's screaming at her to please take it, let him help.

Afterwards his Tamers find him and take care of him, causing them to finally earn their D-ark, and he makes peace with them as a whole. They were the reason he was jealous of the other partner digimon in the first place, since his own partners treated him like a toy to fight over, pulling him in two different directions. To be fair, they are five years old, and may have been even younger than that when they both came across Impmon, so I don't think it was really their fault: they were just too young to really know better.

Anyway, when Jeri gets out she forgives Impmon, because she's forgiving to a fault, and all the digimon, including him, get taken back to the Digital World.

I just find his whole character arc fascinating, especially since we see him BEFORE he went full-on evil, and afterwards as well - we see him at every stage, and can clearly tell he's the same character, but also how he's grown and changed over time.

Also WOW, I think Jeri's the most traumatized character I've ever seen in a kids cartoon. How was Tamers rated Y-7 again?

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Yamaki. I think he's interesting, but it can be fun to make him lose his composure.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Kurata in Data Squad I guess? It's been so long that I barely remember the series, but he was a DICK.

[cosmicpines]

code lyoko for the fandom meme ?

anon i am so happy you have asked me this

blorbo: aelita! she's always been my blorbo, ever since the second grade :) i've appreciated her more as I've gotten older -- her entire concept is such wasted potential on This Show. like, both the idea that she thinks she's an AI who just wants to be human to finding out she's human but her father ripped her life away from her -- that she can still barely remember, that she is displaced so many years from... I love how she grows over the show and finds her personality and place in the world.

scrunkly (my “baby”): I mean... probably also aelita, if I'm gonna be honest, haha. ulrich also gets to be my baby, though. he's so much more than just a little grump but when he's being a little grump i appreciate it so much, haha. i genuinely like how he's written that he just doesn't know what emotional hints are *cough*ace*cough* and is just ??? about his own. angry boy. baby boy. baby.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): jeremie. so many people don't like jeremie and like... i get it, okay? he's the Tech Support to a t. he doesn't get the big personality. he's kind of a jerk to the group. but like... fuck man, can you imagine the pressure this guy is under? like, the show tosses us several episodes about this alone and i find it so interesting how little empathy his friends have for it in the episodes we have. and then you get to the finale and he's so sure they're all going to leave him now that it's all over i just??? there's so much intersting shit there we don't get because you know. it's code lyoko. but. augh. jeremie loves his friends so fucking much but he's so tired from workign so hard and doesn't take time to rest he just doesn't know how to Be Their Friend. (side note: i will never forgive the show for not showing jeremie and yumi being friends after season one :c. also just generally showing the gang hanging out lmao)

glup shitto (obscure fave): okay so there's this one guy named matthias (i think?? why do i still remember this) who in the episode where aelita is opening for the subdigitals sells odd tickets for AeroSmooth and i have no idea why but I always thought this was the funniest fucking joke just. the way he says AeroSmooth! it cracks me up every time. (real answer tho is Theo from that one season one episode where he decides he wants to be Sissi's friend. like i have many thoughts about sissi (see my poor little meow meow) and this is one of the few characters who genuinely wanted to be nice to her and to her friends which I think pretty much none of them have ever really... had. he also wasn't afraid to call ulrich and odd out on their shit. I have literally no idea why the gang decided to make them not be friends after the RTTP other than the season one writers hated lasting consequences)

poor little meow meow (“problematic”): this one goes to sissi, but shout out to everyone out there fixing the writing around laura in evo. Sissi. Honey. She is truly terrible with some of the things she does, don't get me wrong. but fuck this kid is lonely. like, they took the traits of the popular girl and gave them to somebody that literally nobody likes. even her "friends" don't really like her and just follow her around. everyone at the school is mean to sissi, and I just?? sissi suffers so much from "depending on the writer, she's either doing her best or Really Evil" and it drives me nuts. episode THREE gives her more depth than most episodes do!!! it's those episodes where's she's treated like a person that really get me. there's something deeply interesting about a character whose redemption arcs keep getting rewound and forgotten. I wish the show did more with that -- the fact that sissi really can be a better person, but she keeps forgetting.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): herb. i can't believe he didn't want to go on a fantastic and breaktaking experience in the moonlight with nicholas :(

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): johnny. im sorry, johnny, but your "drama" in the ulumi will they wont they is so fucking terrible and poorly written.

[sage-nebula]

Oohhh, pokeani if you don't mind me sending in another one?

I don't mind at all!

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

ALAN, MY SON, THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE. I love him so much I cannot even begin to explain how much. I still think about him all the time even though I'm not actively writing PokéAni things anymore. He's easily the most interesting human character the PokéAni has produced and had the best story and adventure, and while I miss him terribly, I'm also so nervous about him ever returning because I feel like they'll only bring him back to shit all over him. Nevertheless though, he is my valiant dragon son, my absolute most favorite best boy. ♥

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

LIZARDON (Alan's Charizard) TBH . . . because have you ever seen a sweeter charizard? He just loves getting chin scritches and pets and cuddles and snuggles and just loves his boy so much. Like don't get me wrong, he is expertly trained on all fronts, he loves battling just as much as his trainer and he can be ferocious! But also he just loves sharing snacks and getting snuggled and is just a sweet, sweet boy. I love him so much too ♥

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

I mean, considering I have still seen hate toward Alan for winning the Kalos League as recently as this fucking year, he counts. But in the interest of not picking Alan for every answer, I'm going to say Tracey! Tracey got a lot of flack as well for replacing Brock during the Orange Islands arc, especially due to the reason why that happened (because the Japanese studio was afraid that Americans would perceive Brock as a racist caricature for some reason). But I honestly love Tracey and I wish that he'd gotten to remain with the squad during Johto so that it would have been a four person group. I like the fact that he's an artist and is the only one with a sense of direction, I like how he teased Ash and Misty about their respective crushes on each other, I like how he would drop everything to draw a new pokémon. I just think he's neat.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

MY GIRL CASEY, MY BOY RITCHIE, MY GIRL DUPLICA . . . many characters that recur so they're not a Character of the Day, but that they still haven't appeared in like sixty million years so they can count here. Incidentally both Casey and Ritchie got little cameos in the new promo short that was released recently (to promote an artist's work), and that made me very happy over on twitter, haha.

OH, and as a final one, MY GIRL MOLLY HALE. And heck, while we're at it, my girls Cooltrainer Lisa and Melody, too. They're just movie characters but I loved them so much. Particularly since the Hales are family friends of the Ketchums, I wish we could have seen Molly come back at some point.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

I don't know that I really have an answer for this. Maybe Lawrence III from the second movie? Because he just wanted to do what is arguably the point of the main series games (catch 'em all) but he was also ruining the world while doing so, so it was like "okay we know we say to catch them all but also don't do that" lmao. I don't really know though.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

I mean, despite how much I love him, I do torment Alan an awful lot for hurt/comfort reasons. Though in my defense, so did the actual show.

Aside from him, I have a running gag in my fics where Louis thinks that Alan is his rival, that they have a very real rivalry going on, but Alan never remembers who Louis is because Louis is just . . . not important to him at all lmao. So that can count as an emotional plinko. And Malva also deserves the plinko because while she didn't actually know of Lysandre's plans of genocide in the anime and did do her part to redeem herself, she also stood idly by as he emotionally abused and used Alan and kind of laughed about it, too. (She was like, "Capturing such a pure boy . . . you're terrible" or something like that, but she was smirking the whole time.) So into the plinko she goes.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Lysandre (again), Xerosic (again), Hunter J, Paul, Damian, AJ . . . basically anyone who abuses pokémon or tries to commit mass genocide goes straight into superhell with no remorse.

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

You can find my 2020 cdrama post here: dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/638449659546845184/2020-end-of-year-post-cdrama-edition

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2020; if it originally aired another year, it’s not on this list.

It’s been a pretty lackluster kdrama year. There are probably only 5 kdramas I truly loved and only three of them I was really obsessed over. Better luck in 2021!

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 Born Again - so bad, so incoherent, so insane, I have no idea why the leads signed up for it (and unlike some of the other watchers, I think it was awful from the very start.) There is literally nothing about this drama that makes sense.

41 Love with Flaws - a bunch of people who should be tried under the Geneva Convention.

40 Sweet Munchies - Jung Il Woo proves his inability to pick a functional script.

39 Meow the Secret Boy - if you ever wanted to bang a cat, this drama is for you. Not being a furry, however...

38 Do Do Sol Sol La Sol - I lost braincells just typing out this title.

37 When I Was the Most Beautiful - the only way it’s not the dumbest, most pointless melo of 2020 is because Born Again considerately came out the same year.

36 Woman of 9.9 Billion - if you want to watch an artsy French movie about miserable people, but only badly made, boy do I have a drama for you.

35 Lies after Lies - screams after screams.

34 Backstreet Rookie - people were up in arms about various problematic plots. I am a survivor of many plots much more problematic but even I couldn’t survive how utterly boring and annoying this drama was and how utterly irritating the leads were. This has taken Ji Chang Wook off my top favorites into “should I even check his latest Lovestruck in the City? Probably not” territory almost single-handedly (Melt Me helped, to be fair.)

33 Men Are Men - boring is boring.

32 Dinner Mate - two beautiful boring people eat out a lot.

31 Was It Love - no it wasn’t.

30 Alice - Joo Won in the shower can make up for a multitude of sins but not plot nonsense of such magnitude. When you find yourself thinking it would be better if he hooked up with the alternate universe version of his mother because at least then something entertaining would happen, you know it’s bad.

29 More than Friends - started out OK, then made me hate basically everyone and kept going.

28 Start-Up - honestly, it’s probably more decent than its place here, but the toxic and batshit fandom for it (the worst this year) made me feel like breaking out in hives any time it’s even mentioned.

27 The Spies who Loved Me - how to take a good cast and waste it.

26 Private Lives - it was good but it never took off with its concept and spent more time on the incoherent plot than the OTP which was its one strength. It’s a decent drama but coming after Heartless City and My Beautiful Bride from the same writer, it’s a disappointment.

25 Record of Youth - as high as it is due to Park Bo Gum hard carrying this entire awful drama on his shoulders and doing it so well I finished it. Alas, while he is in one drama (and that drama is great), the rest of the characters and the entirety of the script are a pointless useless mess.

24 Do You Like Brahms - excellent first third, mediocre middle, and terrible last third. I don’t know what musical term applies to this? Diminuendo, I think.

23 I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice - nice and mellow but nothing much happens.

22 Forest - mainly for Park Hae Jin’s excellent and frequently naked bod.

21 The Ballot - I didn’t love it as much as everyone did but it was well-made.

20 Hyena - more romance and less weird law stuff would make it better.

19 365 Repeat the Year - surprisingly solid.

18 The Game Towards Zero - see 365.

17 When My Love Blooms - very old fashioned, very lovely.

16 Chocolate - also very old fashioned and very lovely but also with Yoon Kye Sang performing medical procedures bleeding and shirtless. MMM.

15 (tie) Secret Royal Inspector - a fun if run of the mill sageuk.

15 Find Me In Your Memory - best melo this year.

14 Mystic Pop Up Bar - surprisingly good even though I wasn’t planning to check it out.

13 Where Your Eyes Linger - came out of nowhere but was tender and hopeful and lovely.

12 Itaewon Class - Park Seo Joon hard carries a drama that is already excellent. Love it.

11 Psychopath Diary - Yoon Shi Yoon is such a treat in a hilarious, cynical, dark comedy.

10 Kairos - more like ouroboros.

9 Queen Love and War - in a year where sageuks are very rare, this was solid and surprisingly moving and shippy.

8 The King Eternal Monarch - people didn’t like it but I did. It’s no masterpiece and both the leads and the writers have better dramas, but it was a lovely romantic fairy tale for me.

7 Mr. Queen - sharp, hilarious, and some of my favorite actors.

6 Psycho But It’s OK - healing, sharp cinematography and even sharper chemistry.

5 Crash Landing on You - the last ep pissed me off so much this drama is dead to me but I loved it so much until then I can’t place it lower in good conscience.

4 Train - who knew I would go this hard for an OCN drama or that OCN would do romance so well? But this time-travel mystery romance is just incredible and I shipped the OTP and rooted for the characters and loved every last bit of it.

3 Run On - this is the drama Record of Youth wanted to be but failed. Smart and lived in, you feel like you are peeking at real people, but also even four episodes in, I am so invested in the main characters separately and together, and care for them so much, it’s a little frightening.

1 (tie) Tale of the Nine Tailed - my perfect fantasy romance. I liked it better than Goblin, yeah I said it.

1 Flower of Evil - all the tropes I love in one incredible package. I would rewatch episodes waiting for new ones trying to puzzle the story and to stay withdrawal but it works just as well on rewatch. Lee Jun Ki brings his trademark tortured intensity and for once, both his leading lady and his script back him up and are worthy of that. It’s perfect.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It’s a tie between Tale of the Nine Tailed and Flower of Evil but if I had to pick just one, FoE, because it had me seriously obsessed and guessing about the protagonist and gave me the narrative tropes I love so much and an OTP that statisfied all my hurt/comfort kinks and then some.

WORST DRAMA

Born Again - honestly, this is so bonkers it almost becomes good but alas...

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Hyun Soo/Baek Hee Sung, Flower of Evil - he is so messed up, so on edge, so traumatized. Yet capable of so much warmth and caring even as he himself doesn’t realize his humanity. FoE is basically a story of a man pushed and punished by the world for his entire life who, because of one woman, finds a safe place and peace and slowly comes to life without realizing it, and watching his desperation to keep this small bit of normalcy is so heartbreaking and exciting all at once. Plus, you start the drama thinking he’s a psychopathic serial killer and end it (if you are me) thinking he must be protected at all costs and if anyone even looks at him wrong they must suffer, and that’s quite a change!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Nam Ji Ah, Tale of the Nine Tailed - she is so funny and tough and smart and loving and amazing that I will totally buy that a literal demi-god will do anything and everything for her and love her for literal eternity.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Dad in Record of Youth - yes in a year with serial killers and supernatural demons, I picked a normal character from a mediocre drama. It’s his everyday awfulness to his family that hits so hard and I am sad he never got his comeuppance.

FAVORITE SHIP

Ji Ah x Yeon - a fearless reporter and an immortal demi-god who’s been hoping for his human beloved to reincarnate. A really rare set-up where the OTP is equally ride or die, so compatible and completely BAMF. I got why he waited for her for that long and then fell in love with her all over again. Perfection.

Runner up: Flower of Evil - he is so messed up he literally does not believe he is capable of love or empathy, but he falls in love with her anyway and so utterly she permeates his entire life. She is tough as nails and only believes what she sees and is the sole person who believes in him against the world. She loves him but he needs her. She needs him but he loves her. They are amazing.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Seo Dan x Gu Seung Jun, Crash Landing on You, North Korean x Conman were so good I shipped them harder than the main OTP and the end of that storyline pissed me off so much I dumped the drama and didn’t finish it for months (and it’s still dead to me.)

NOTP

Record of Youth - it started out and they didn’t have much chemistry but the dialogues were interesting and I thought the chemistry would grow. It didn’t and deteriorated, their dialogues became boring and relationship had zero development (about as much as the supposed female lead.) I think we were supposed to feel bad they broke up and they were going for a bittersweet open ending, instead I found myself happy about the break up of two incompatible, chemistry-less people and hoping for the love of God they never get back together.

FAVORITE SCENE

Yeon and the bridge of knives, Tale of the Nine Tailed - Yeon choosing to undergo the creeptastic bridge of knives for a chance to save Ji Ah, who at that point he is not aware is the reincarnation of his Joseon love because, as he says, he doesn’t care if she is or isn’t, it just would be more horrible to have her die than to undergo the horrific torture he is undergoing, and then the sequence with his catching her, her weeping over him and the fact that she is the original Joseon girl revealed and all the bandaging and his watching her sleep and all that loveliness, is everything for yours truly.

Runner up: Hyun Soo having that break-down at the cliff at the end of ep 15 of Flower of Evil as Ji Won desperately tries to convince him she is alive and he finally stumbles to her.

Runner runner up (it’s my list, I will do what I want): Do Won preparing to blow his brains out to give a chance to Seo Kyung to live in Train.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seon-Gyeom, Run On. Yeah, I know. Im Siwan is tiny, delicate featured and has a runner’s build, none of which are things that normally appeal to me. But his character is so odd, so honest, so unflinching in pursuing what he thinks is right, so incapable of self-pity despite plenty of reasons for it, and so ridiculously attractive when he smiles, I don’t even care.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Kim Bum, TotNT - I started out being annoyed by him and ended up looking forward to his scenes and being distraught by his ending.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Honestly, none. I was fine with all the endings. I wouldn’t mind seeing post-end life of Tale of the Nine Tailed characters or the OTP settling into their literal new world in Train, but I am good.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Time jump that solves all the problems off screen or alternatively years pass and everyone is frozen - something that kdramas need to learn and need to learn badly. See Record of Youth, Brahms and Start Up.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men who are ride or die for their OTP - this was a great year for this - the male leads of four of my five dramas were beyond anything on that scale (only exception is Run On because it’s still too early to tell there.) Yes PLEASE.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

This was a banner year for that what with Start Up, Do You Like Brahms, Record of Youth, and Private Lives all starting out well and nosediving off the cliff but winner is Crash Landing on You. I loved it so much for bulk of its run but the last episode pissed me off so much I deleted all my files and called it a day.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Flower of Evil - I had no expectations of this drama and wasn’t even planning on watching it despite liking both the lead actors because yet another “look at evil serial killer be evil” drama with no romance was not my thing. Luckily someone convinced me there might be some romance and I peeked curiously. Honestly, their promo campaign was the most misleading and dumbest thing ever.

Runner up Psycho but it’s OK - I have never liked Kim Soo Hyun in anything before and the drama premise seemed WTF but it was shockingly good and KSH totally blew me away.

Hardest Working Lead

Yoon Shi Yoon - he starred in two (!!!) dramas in 2020 playing three characters and not only were both these dramas awesome in a lackluster year, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it was the same actor and the fact that the characters shared a face, I would have never believed that they were played by the same actor. So good!

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

My Beautiful Bride and Deserving of the Name - I was obsessed with both of them and honestly, they were much better than the bulk of 2020 kdramas I watched.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

The Moon That Rises in the Day, Hong Chun Gi, Joseon Exorcist, Island,  Frightening Cohabitation, Snowdrop.

[fandom-necromancer]

A thing of beauty

I stumbled about this post of @isibakeoven and I just had to write it! I hope you enjoy!

Fandom: Cyberpunk 2077 | Characters: nomad!V, Johnny and more

‘How could this even happen?’ ‘I don’t think I have to tell you of all people how something like this can happen’, V spoke loud for once. They were alone in their apartment, so why bother? V smiled, petting Nibbles laying next to her on the ground while the small kittens tried to clumsily climb on her outstretched legs. ‘No shit, V. I meant that this is now happening on top of everything else! We are supposed to get rid of the chip, save your life. And now we have to look after… kittens?’ ‘They are cute though.’ ‘Damnit, V.’ The construct likely had wanted to sound frustrated, but there was a certain softness in his voice too. ‘They look all wrinkly…’ ‘Don’t listen to him’, V chuckled and lifted up one of the tiny cats that had repeatedly tried and failed to get a good grip on her pants. ‘You are perfect.’ ‘Well, we can’t keep them. They will grow up and need more space. And I doubt some mercenary that could die any given day could take care of them.’ V sat the little one down on her lab and watched amused as it tried to get underneath her jacket. ‘Didn’t know you would care this much.’ ‘Hell, V, what do you think of me? Who doesn’t like cats?’

V couldn’t help but grin as Johnny sat down next to her, watching the kittens mill about with a tiny smile on his lips. He was right, of course. Even Nibbles herself had been a heat of the moment decision and it was better than leaving her out on the streets. They couldn’t keep them all. But what should they do with them? ‘You could sell them to some rich corpos’, Johnny shrugged. ‘I mean, we would make a fortune with real cats and they would have a nice home with everything they could ever need.’ And that was coming from someone who hated these people. It made V think about it, but ultimately their guts told them no. ‘Fine, any other idea then?’ V watched the kittens play and sighed deeply. Who in this rotten world could they trust still? And who could take good care of a cat? Instinctively a few names popped up in their head. ‘Really? Your mercenary friends?’ Johnny asked. ‘Come on, they are as bad as you are. And don’t you dare give one to- You’ve already made up your mind, right?’ V chuckled. ‘Yes. Once they are old enough, it’s time for a roadtrip!’

-

The meows of the kittens in the box on the passenger seat were almost heart wrenching, but they had grown quite a lot already and begun to rearrange what little furniture V had in their apartment. Besides, V knew they would find a loving new home. ‘But that’s not your only reason, is it?’, Johnny asked from the backseat. ‘It isn’t and you know that, you are in my brain’, V sighed and stopped at the red light. ‘So what? You really want me saying it out loud?’ ‘Maybe so you know it’s bullshit. I won’t let you die, V, and that’s final.’ ‘Even if we find a solution for the chip that works – and I highly doubt that – as you said, I could die any other day. Might as well give my friends something to remember me. Something good in a world that doesn’t give a fuck about you.’ ‘Hell, you’re getting my level’s of cynic here…’ ‘So far I haven’t had the urge to blow up a building yet, so I would say I’m good for a few more days.’ ‘Har, har’, the construct laughed sarcastically, but continued to look out of the window the rest of the ride.

‘Hey, V!’, Judy greeted them at the door and frowned as she saw the giant bow in their arms. ‘Woah, what’s that?’ ‘Complications? It’s a gift. Will you let me in?’ ‘Err. Yeah… Gifted complications?’ V just entered her flat and put down the box on the kitchen counter. ‘You know, the cat I told you about? Nibbles? Well, turned out she was pregnant and left me a bunch of kittens I can’t keep. You want one?’ ‘Do I… V, the only animal I ever cared for are fish and- Oh my god, they are so cute!’ She had already leaned on the counter, looking through the bars and watching the little cats stumble about. ‘Aren’t you just the cutest?’ She put a finger through the gaps and promptly pulled it back. ‘Ouch!’ She pressed on the small cut but smiled. ‘Oh, I definitely want one!’ ‘Then pick one’, V laughed and pointed at the box. ‘Who of you was the one to scratch me, hm?’ She pulled out one of the cats and held her up. ‘Gonna call you Limónita!’ V shook her head, but watched, as Judy was already cuddling with the little thing seeming completely enamoured. ‘Do you have someone for the rest of them?’, she asked. ‘I have an idea, yes’, V answered. ‘Gonna drive by a few friends, see if they would like one.’ ‘Alright! Tell me if you can’t find homes for all of them, I could ask a few Mox.’ ‘Thanks. I will come back to that!’

‘One gone, six more to go’, Johnny commented, as V sat back down in the car and drove off. ‘Yep. Next stop: My favourite Ripperdoc.’ ‘Really? You want to give that butcher one?’ ‘That butcher saved my life countless times. And he is one of the few actually decent people out there. He will take good care of a cat. From all of them maybe the best as he actually settled down and has a more or less safe job.’ ‘Whatever you say…’

V stopped as close to the clinic as they could and stepped out with the box, hurrying down the stairs. Misty was the first to greet them, surprised to see them there. ‘V. What brings you here?’ ‘Is Vic free at the moment? I have something. For both of you actually, if you are interested.’ ‘He should be, I can call him. A surprise?’ ‘Yes.’ V put the box down on a near table and nodded towards the ripperdoc that came out of his room. ‘My cat got kittens. I’m searching for people to give them a home. With the way I live, it’s… difficult to take care of even one, don’t mind all of them.’ They didn’t mention the biochip, but both of them knew what they were implying with that. Viktor took one of the kittens out of the box and scratched it behind the ear with his mechanical extensions. Misty took one, too, surprisingly catching the one that liked to ride on shoulders. She laughed as the kitten clawed the way up her arm and watched the other one that was calmly accepting the pets. ‘Any idea for names?’, Viktor asked, eyes not even taken off the cat for a second. ‘Ying and Yang would be fitting. See? Yours even has a little black spot at the ear.’ ‘Isn’t that a little cliché?’, the doc asked and earned an in-depth explanation from Misty why they were the perfect names. V watched them a little, but in the end just took the box and stole themselves away.

‘Who’s next?’, Johnny asked, arms crossed behind his head. ‘Goro.’ Wait, what? I thought you were against selling them to some rich fucks!’ ‘I am. Takemura is a friend.’ ‘He’s Arasaka.’ ‘He’s Ex-Arasaka at best. And he will take good care of them.’ ‘Maybe, but… God, you’ve doomed that cat.’ ‘To the nice life of a spoiled kitty?’ ‘To sit through hours of meetings…’ ‘He’s a… You know what, I won’t even try. He’s nice and will love a kitty.’

V was proved correct in the end. She met Goro in a flat in a shady neighbourhood, but he had managed to tidy his temporary home up as if it was the corpo mansions he must be used to. He had been sceptical at first but as soon as he had taken a look into the box, he was almost instantly smitten with them and had sat down on the sofa with the kitten on his lap. He obviously tried to keep up a professional, stiff appearance, but as V left, they could hear the delighted ‘I hereby swear to protect you and care for you, Kitty-sama-‘ before the door fell into the lock.

She was still laughing when she came back to the car and drove off to her next target. ‘A cop. You are giving your cat to a cop?’ ‘I’m giving my cat to a loving family that always will have someone around to play with. I grew up knowing a family and I will always treasure those memories. Whatever kitten they pick, it will have a great life.’

‘V!’ They hadn’t even parked the car yet as the kids had spotted them. ‘V is here!’ ‘Are you staying to play?’ They laughed picking up the box. ‘I don’t think so. I have to speak with your dad, is he home?’ The children ran off to fetch him and V followed them, hoping the kittens would stay silent for a little while longer with the kids around. ‘V! What brings you here?’, River greeted them with a wide grin. ‘I’m looking for a home for my kittens. I can’t keep them. You look more of a dog person to me, but I’m not sure, so I thought I’d try.’ The man looked at them wide-eyed, then looking into the box. ‘You think I should… You would give me one?’ ‘I trust you to take good care of them’, V just nodded. He reached into the box and carefully lifted out a cat as if worried to break something. ‘So small’, he laughed, looking at the kitten fondly. He got to his knees, so the children could get a good look and a few pets, too. When he stood back up, he looked at V. ‘I will. This little kitty will have the best life I can give her.’ ‘Thank you.’

‘Okay, that was nice and all, but I have to stop you right there’, Johnny commented once again, as V was back in the car. ‘Kerry… Hell, he can’t even watch after himself. You… You’ve been to his house, okay? This should be obvious!’ ‘We both know that’s you being jealous he actually got over it and is successful now.’ ‘Yeah, well, because we turned up! Who knows what happens when we are gone.’ ‘I thought you said not to think about that because you won’t let me die?’ ‘I… Listen, you said you wouldn’t let me die either. So, I already know this will go to shit.’ ‘Kerry changed, Johnny. I trust him with a cat.’ Johnny sighed and vanished. ‘Why do I even try?’

At least the house was in less disarray than when V had last visited. The security was less hostile, too, allowing them to pass by and park right in front. ‘Hey, V? What’s up? Come in!’ He didn’t even acknowledge the box, leading them inside and pouring them a drink already. ‘My new song may be the best one I ever made; I’m telling you. I’ve made great progress!’ ‘I’m happy to hear that. Maybe once it’s ready, you could celebrate with a feline friend?’ The Rockstar turned around and only then saw the box, curiously looking into it. ‘Where did you get those cats?’ He had already taken one out to get a closer look. ‘They are worth a fortune, somehow I can’t believe you paid for it. Job gone wrong?’ ‘No, I took in a cat I found and she was pregnant. Now I’m looking for a home for them. Interested?’ ‘Interested?’ Kerry pulled the cat to his chest protectively now that he realised, he might get one. ‘I would love to have a cat! I just always saw the costs and… Well I guess my life style isn’t the most stable one. You would just… give one to me?’ ‘Sure’, V shrugged. ‘I mean you have the money to care for one, a place to live and I know you are a softie underneath that craziness.’ ‘Oh, I will take so good care of you’, Kerry chuckled. ‘I don’t need half the space I have; I will transform this home to your wishes.’ He smirked at V and addressed the cat again: ‘You’ll be the most spoiled cat in the world, and I will call you Johnny, so it fits!’

‘Oh, you won’t, you son of a-‘ V had to will the construct away not to laugh and left Kerry with his cat. Back in the car they felt sorry for the last cat in the box. ‘Don’t worry, you will get a nice home, too. You will like it. Always on the move, seeing the world. You will have a big family and believe me, nothing is better than laying in the sun on a warm dashboard seeing the world pass by.’ V felt Johnny’s eyes on them and sighed. ‘What? Back with the Bakkers we constantly picked up stray dogs and cats. Not that there were a lot. But I remember one that loved riding with us.’ Johnny answered by lifting up his hands in surrender and looking out through the window once again.

The drive to the Aldecaldo Camp took quite a while and the sun was already setting, as they reached the edge of it. It was in the progress of settling down for the night, the few guards on post nodding towards her and greeting her friendly but brief. It wasn’t far to Panam’s tent anyway, so V just passed them. ‘V! What a surprise! How are you?’ ‘Good. And you?’ ‘Can’t complain. What do you have there?’ ‘My cat had a litter. I found homes for all of them except this one. Wanted to keep the ride out here for last, you know how the city can get at night.’ ‘Okay’, Panam said, waiting for more. ‘So you want me to take the kitten?’ ‘If you want it’, V nodded. ‘I think you would take great care of a cat. And the Aldecaldos are there too.’ ‘But we will be on the move constantly, do you really think I should take her instead of someone in the city?’ ‘No one I know has a stable life, Panam. And with you I know the kitty is safe. You can always put a tracker on her collar or something if you fear her getting lost. If you want a cat.’ ‘Oh, I would love to! Thank you!’ She took the last kitten from the box, pulling her close to her chest and already looking for one of the larger trailers to keep it in for the beginning. ‘I will take good care of you kitty, V!’

‘And that was the last one of your kittens, V’, Johnny concluded on their way back. ‘I think your friends will give them a good home.’ ‘I hope it brings them joy. A little bit of good in this world.’ ‘Don’t be so pessimistic. The world may be a disaster, but if you know where to look, there will always be a little bit of good.’ ‘A thing of beauty?’, V teased, maybe not nearly as jokingly as they might had wanted it to be. ‘Who knows? Maybe?’, Johnny sighed. ‘However this might end, they will remember you, V. You won’t be forgotten.’ V lowered her head, gripping the steering wheel of the Porsche a bit harder. ‘And neither will you.’

[haravath0t]

Maybe It’s Time

Pairing: a bit of Steve x Reader, but leaning towards Bucky x Reader in the end

Warning: angst, fluff in the end! Feelings...

A/N: So... another comfort fic... gotta thank @world-of-aus for helping me on this one! Bucket, thank you for literally being a real one and helping me through it all! I owe you so much girl! It’s been a hard one for me as of late folks, so this one kinda feels like a comfort fic to me personally. Kinda out of the blue, but as always, writing seems to be my escape. So for all who are going through something, I hope you know I am here for you and I am willing to lend an ear for you guys! I hope you all seek a bit of comfort through this one shot! Enjoy! 

Bucky’s eyes gently opened, hearing something coming from the other room. Something that has to have become a regular thing for him now for a long while. Your piano playing. 

He recognized this piece more than ever: Debussy’s Clair de Lune.

He sat up gently on the edge of the bed, grunting softly while Alpine softly purred as she stirred herself awake. It was raining; a soft pitter patter of the rain falling against the glass windows accompanied with your soft playing would have been enough to have kept him asleep, his nightmares slowly fading away and going into the wonderful dreams that he had once dreamt of. However, tonight’s playing was different, for the once playful, joyous, and thoughtful tunes coming from those black and white keys have been melancholic for quite a while. Too long of a while. Tonight, something within Bucky Barnes compelled him to do something different from these previous nights. Rather than admire your playing from afar, letting your emotions run wild by yourself, he’ll make his presence known. 

Alpine meowed, watching her owner slowly put on his fuzzy slippers (courtesy of you) before she fell asleep. Bucky smiled sleepily, giving her one more pet before quietly making his way out of his room, and into the dark living room in your guys’ shared floor. The sight in front of him definitely reflected Clair de Lune: beautiful, yet filled with emotion, filled with sorrow. It hurt him even more to know just why you were hurting.

You were restless. You were critical. You tried, you fought, you pushed, you pulled. 

Yet it was never enough.

At the end of the day, you got hurt. You were thrown away, rendered useless to someone who you loved deeply and passionately. Someone who you devoted yourself to, thinking they’d dedicate themselves in the same manner. You remember that day clearly, feelings still fresh from a year ago.

You were still wrapping your head around the fact that you were part of the half who disappeared in the blip. However, thoughts were brushed aside as he smiled softly at you as Bruce got everything ready, coming towards you as you returned the smile on your face. You wrapped your arms around him, your soft eyes looking at him with love and devotion, as it always had. “Be careful,” you whisper into his lips with a smile. “I will, Y/N… don’t you worry.” He says with a smile nuzzling his nose against yours. “I just wanna ensure your safety, for your sake,” You reply with a giggle. “My sake or yours?” He questions with a much bigger smile. “How about we settle with both?” You whisper, your giggles ringing in Steve’s ears. He couldn’t help the long and loving kiss that was shared between the both of you before he went off to the platform. 

You watched your boyfriend, standing in his suit, Mjolnir in one hand and the case of the Infinity Stones in the other, standing in the middle of the platform with a determined look on his face. You smiled even more, for Steve Rogers, being himself, has managed to save the world once again with the Avengers. You smiled alongside Bucky and Sam who were watching him disappear out of sight. “And returning in 5… 4… 3… 2...1…” Bruce counts down, only for you three to see no one back on the platform. You began to worry. Did something go wrong? What happened? Is he okay? 

Your mind was laden with panic and it wasn’t until you saw a figure sitting alongside the lake, shield propped up next to him. Confusion laced your worried features, but the two men knew. Sam talked to him as you looked on in shock, mind still connecting things together. You shook your head in denial as you saw a wedding ring on his finger. At that moment you knew.

You weren’t enough.

You slowly made your way, deciding to be strong, heart wrenching when you saw this once burly, blond man now with wrinkles, haggard, and with a wedding ring. 

“Y/N,” he says, but you cut him off, forcing a smile on your face, forcing your tears to not fall down. 

“N-no. It’s okay… I.. I get it… I’m.. I’m happy for you, Steve.”

You hated it. You hated having to have your hand held by him one last time, a squeeze of hands quietly speaking of the terms that you both are now on. You were never his. Never. Peggy remained his one and true love that beat time and space. And who were you to argue? She rightfully gained her place. Maybe it was time for you to accept the fact that there was no room for you in Steven Grant Rogers’ life. 

But that didn’t stop the hurt that still clouds your mind and thoughts. The remembrance of the hurt and the deception on your side of the story was still fresh. The repeat of the memory merely adds salt to your still fresh wounds. It’s been inside you since then, the neverending ache courses through you. So you play. You play the grand piano and its keys with your heart out on your sleeve not caring for the sobs that leave your lips, hands gracefully touching the keys of the piano, a slow crescendo coming in as the feelings of hurt slowly grow. Your eyes stay shut as your left hand starts to move more and more, right hand playing chords and the sorrowful melody. By the time the climax of the song arrives, you are sobbing even more than before, body shaking as the pain takes on a more tangible form on your piano. Your head is swirling, your body feeling like it was going to float, you were so clouded in your mind, until a particular man with a metal arm sat quietly next to you, putting you back in your space, where you currently were.  

However, you stopped dead in your tracks, embarrassed that your best friend had caught you in this particular moment, so your eyes try their hardest to remain on the keys. You already knew that his ocean blue ones were staring at you. His metal hand carefully rests upon your right hand, lightly interlocking his fingers with yours. 

“I’m not over it either,” he whispers in your ear.

Again, you cry, turning your body slightly to cling to his figure. Cries slowly turn into sobs. Hugging Bucky for dear life, you said the things that have been in your head for so long. 

“B-Buck.. Why did he leave?! Why?! And when we just came back?! Why Peggy, Buck?! What does she have that I don’t?! What has our time together meant to him?! Is it because I’m not as skinny as her?! Is she smarter than me? Is she funnier? More humorous? Is she kinder? Is she-”

Bucky felt the same way. He knew how you felt. He felt that way about the punk too. He wasn’t thinking of Captain America, but Steve. The little kid from Brooklyn, the same guy who had asthma, who put newspapers in his shoes, who hid an extra key under a brick. He felt like he lost his place too. However, he knew how you felt was just as bad. He understood you. It pained him to see you crying. Admittedly enough, he only hoped that you look beautiful in his eyes despite your sobs and tears. A literal angel, he’d think to himself. Unfortunate that he can’t teach his best friend a thing or two about taking care of his girl. You were in pain for so long.

His hands cupped your wet cheeks and slowly wiped the tears with his thumbs, a tiny smile when he feels you relax to his touch, kissing your forehead to further soothe you. “Steve doesn’t know what was in front of the whole time, sweetheart,” he whispers. 

“He did… apparently I’m only a substitute till there was a way. That’s all I am to anyone. A substitute.”

“I never thought of you that way.” He admits quietly, so quietly, that only you both can hear, causing you to look up at him in surprise. “H-Huh? But…” “I said what I said, Y/N… I mean it. You were, are, and always will be such a sweet, kind, and beautiful dame. There’s no kind like you anywhere here, not even Peggy or anyone for that matter can replicate what you have sweetheart. So who cares who’s skinnier? Who cares if one is more funny? In the end of the day, we knew you did all you could. It hurts. I know. But, you’re gonna have that one guy who is gonna treat ya like no man ever could. I’ll make sure of that.” He whispers, looking at you dead in the eyes with understanding and love in his eyes. A small smile finally kisses your face. Not a fake one, but a small genuine one. One that only someone like James Buchanan Barnes would notice. “That’s my girl.” He whispers and smiles, hugging you once again.

He pulls away, starting to play the first few notes of Clair de Lune, eyes carefully watching yours, an invitation. You shyly joined in, allowing yourself to take your place and playing a part. You and James couldn’t help the smile that goes on your faces as it starts to progress. You watched as both his flesh and metal hand graced the keys effortlessly, nicely paired along with yours as they also graced the keys, completing this song’s melody. What was wreaking of pain and sorrow turned pensive, calming, even providing a form of resolution. You guys smiled as you both played your notes louder and louder the two of you effortlessly mirroring each other, no need to say the dynamic, the mood, the notes to play, it was all unplanned, yet it still sounded beautiful. A giggle leaves your mouth, another genuine one for the first time, which causes Bucky to smile big, happy to see you smiling again. He watches as your guys’ fingers glide through the keys, hands sometimes weaving in and out harmoniously, never causing extra struggle. 

“Thank you, James… I really really feel better after all of that” you say softly, letting yourself nuzzle your face into his torso, hugging the super soldier tightly. “You always know what to say to me. You always know what to do. Always have. Thank you,” You whisper, smiling softly as the man tightens his hold on you. You both chuckled when a yawn now leaves your lips, resulting in Bucky scooping you up bridal style. “Not a problem, sweetheart. I’m always gonna be here. M’not going anywhere I promise.” He says softly, yet in a determined tone. He vowed to himself no matter where he stood in your life, he was gonna make sure you were loved and cared for. He always wanted that for you. Always looked at you in a way he never thought he’d look at a woman. Even today the way he perceived you was the same: a kind, beautiful, giving, and optimistic person who was kind to anyone but herself. “Why don’t we get you to bed, huh? I think you deserve this to say the least.” He says softly, making his way through the hallway into your bedroom. 

“A-Actually. Do you think I can just lay with you tonight?” You ask shyly. You felt comfortable in his arms. He made you feel warm, protected. You didn’t want to let that go. Not now. Of course, Bucky could not say no, so he carried you to his room, where you both met a sleeping Alpine perched on her cute tower. You smiled as he laid you down gently before he laid next to you, an arm wrapped around your waist. “Thank you, Buck…you know I’m grateful for you,” you murmured sleepily, nuzzling into the crook of his neck and relaxing. Bucky only smiled and rubbed your back for comfort. “Never forget I’ll do anythin’ for you sweetheart. Promise.” He whispers, sleep taking over him a bit quicker than a normal night. You smiled as you watched his breathing steady out, knowing he was asleep. You couldn’t help the grin from ear to ear before you slept yourself. It will take a while for this pain of yours to end, but… maybe, just maybe it’s time for you to stop looking at what’s behind and what’s beyond. Maybe it’s time for you to rediscover your worth, who you can love and who can love you.  Maybe it’s time that you trust yourself, for you are worth it all and you alone is a good enough reason to live your life as it should. And maybe, just maybe… you’ll see where the brunette man with a metal arm in front of you will stand in your life. Just one step at a time and one day at a time, you tell yourself as you slowly drift into dreamland. However, you were happy, for this was the first night you felt like you were enough, and felt that hope that used to reside in your heart. For once in a long time, you didn’t feel the weight in your heart anymore, for behind you, Bucky Barnes was right behind you carrying it right with you.

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[redux-iterum]

You should make a side blog about your cats. I wanna see more of them ❤️

Better yet, I'll just ramble about them here! Cat gab under the cut to save you all some space.

This is Moses. Nicknames include Thug Mansion, Straight Outta Compton, Mozambique and Big Bad Mo. He is 18 pounds of pure muscle and the last of the real OGs. I have never met a cat who belongs in a gang more than him (mafia or hood, either works). He looks like this right now since he gets shaved in the summer, and no, it doesn't make him look any smaller.

Cranky old man who will only respect you if you fight back against his bullshit. He will assume power otherwise and there is nothing you can do to stop him.

I adore him. He's great.

This is Puppycat. Nicknames include Puppycat. Her original name was Kelly, but she got renamed after she developed dog-like habits (tail wagging, coming when called, and liking her belly to be rubbed). She used to be incredibly fat, as you can see here.

This fucking creature loves food. That is every facet of her personality. One of those animals that will eat until they vomit and then keep eating. She is also very dumb - beautifully dumb, really -and didn't know how to purr until she was five years old. She just wheezed happily at us.

This is Jupiter. Nicknames include Gremlin, Baby, Drive By, Jupe-Jupe and Squeakums. He is my baby boy and I adore him, and he is the biggest piece of shit. When we first got him, he was horribly ill and way undersized (size of a four week old kitten at twelve weeks of age). He had an upper respiratory infection, worms, fleas, was unable to put weight on, and was just generally sick. I've shown a picture of him before, but it bears repeating.

He got the nickname Gremlin from his appearance, and he was initially very sweet and cuddly and just wanted to be warm. Then he got better and turned into a psycho. He got another nickname, Drive By, for his fondness of running past you, smacking or biting you, and then pealing off before you could react. He loves going into our vents and biting people before disappearing into the darkness.

Fun fact on him, he's ended up stuck in our neighborhood sewers twice from exploring or busting out of the house at 2 AM. He's learned to not go in the tunnels since then, thank god.

Also I do not have a picture, but he is shaved as well and he's a toothpick. He is so little. I love him.

This is Moonshine. Nicknames include Goblin, Croakums, Squint Cat, Little Girl, and Munchin. I brought her home to be Jupiter's playmate and she got the entire house infected with ringworm. She also had a URI and a goopy left eye that is always squinted, as you can see here. So that was fun.

We had a friend for Jupiter before her, Ophelia, but she unfortunately disappeared one night and we never saw her again. It's a bit of a downer blessing, because Ophelia was not interested in playing with Jupiter at all, mostly because he's a feral vicious creature who doesn't know how to play gently. Meanwhile, Moonshine gets the dog tar beaten out of her, jumps up and charges him again. She adores wrestling with him.

Also she is a doof who likes to climb things, especially people. It's not as cute now that she's almost fully grown (and a good deal larger than Jupiter, even though he's about a year older). Her favorite thing is to leap onto you without warning and army crawl up to your shoulders and just sit there. It's more difficult to deal with in the summer, where you don't have an extra layer of clothes to protect you from her claws.

Still, she is a very charming little creature. The best part is that she overreacts like a cartoon - if something drapes across her back or startles her, she leaps three feet into the air (I'm not shitting you, three feet) and runs around in circles in terror. She also likes to eat bugs and meow like she's smoked all her little life.

Bonus Geno the dog, who hates all of my cats.

I'm sorry you have to share the attention, Geno. You're a good boy too. When you're not being a dick. Please stop picking fights with Moses. He kicks your ass every time.