#really gross anxious atm so!!

[hyperionshipping]

Are you and your f/os celebrating the eclipse this Monday?

[whilomm]

Hey, so this is kinda off the wall, but I need to find a roommate but I'm so anxious about it, did you use a certain website? Or like do you have any roommate finding tips?

oh yeah i was super nervous about it too bc of previous bad experiences (with college apartments that were auto-matched), i guess my tips would be from someone whos only done this manually Once:

worth a shot, straight up ask if any of your friends need a roomie. sometimes things line up! didnt for me atm (aside from one friend who said "oh maybe in like 2 years but maybe not")

try and keep in mind that if it doesnt work out its not Forever if that helps you not freak out as much. like, maybe yall stay to the end of the lease and split, or if yall have to split before than eh youre just starting the matching process over again. getting that thru my head helped me lmao

as for websites, yeah there are a ton of specific roommate matching sites you can use, personally I just used facebook and posted in a couple of local groups with a lil thing about myself and I got some matches p quick. I live in a largerish city tho (austin tx) so if you live somewhere smaller there might not be AS big of a pool. facebook as a whole sucks of course but the groups here and there are useful!

I posted both in a more general group and a queer housing group, and i said a lil more about myself in the queer group, but you can also use your post to explicitly or gently filter out ppl you dont wanna live with. personally i did purposefully mention being autistic offhandedly just to hopefully filter out ppl wholl be cunts about that (made a lil comment about "im autistic and a super picky eater, so i wont eat your food lol"), you can explicitly say you dont wanna roomie who has pets/smokes/etc, stuff like that.

(oh, also, if you have a long abandoned facebook acct/need to make a new one, that can sometimes look a lil sus so maybe straight up say "i dont use facebook but i can give you one of my other socials if you want to snoop")

look around the website/group for examples from other people on what to include (max rent, apartment layout prefs, area, whether you already have a place picked out or not and if you'd be willing to apartment hunt w someone, timeframe, etc)

and of course actually say a lil about yourself in the listing. I know thats nerve wracking and all but eh, people wanna have a vague idea of you beforehand. List some of your hobbies/interests, normal boring stuff like that.

talk about how clean you are. and how clean you want your roomie to be. neat freaks and gross ppl may be Incompatible. "i can keep the common area clean but my rooms gonna be a mess" was my thing, and roomie is sameish, which works out!

make a listing, in multiple places if possible, and both see who contacts you and browse other peoples listings. this is defo a time to get over that fear of being the first to say hi! if someone lists a super sweet set up at a good price tho and gets 20 likes dont be surprised if they dont respond lmao, might have a waitlist going

(OH YEAH and if u havent used facebook in 10 years be aware on mobile theres a separate messaging app and you might miss ppl messaging bc of the stupid "pending" tab or whatever. a lotta ppl in the group specifically also commented "messaged!" on posts ig to just say "HEY CHECK THE OTHER STUPID APP IF IT DIDNT GIVE YOU A NOTIF", i found it REALLY easy to miss messages for a bit)

SCAMS EXIST! be cautious, dont just send ppl a "$500 deposit" off the bat, make sure you meet people IN PERSON and preferably talk to whoever you're gonna be renting from (like the leasing office if its an apt complex, or just the landlord) first before signing whatever someone on facebook sends u

as usual meet ppl in person in public places like coffee shops and tell ppl where you're going espec if you're going to look at the rental etc etc, same safety rules for meeting anyone from the internet

if you got any responsible adults in your life (like parents/family/friends who have more experience renting) just talk shit thru w them. maybe they can literally help u look at any contracts if you're not used to reading them, or maybe just chat w them about how shits going so they can just be like "oh yeah that all sounds normal they sound cool" or "YEAH THATS A RED FLAG".

oh yeah, make sure you READ YOUR LEASE. i know we all just Agree To The Terms And Conditions all the time but yeah contracts should be read. even if you dont read every word at least skim it, make sure u read the big things like the money numbers (and stuff like uh. how much notice the apt requires on move out. recently fucked over by that! 🙃). check for extra fees and numbers that are different than discussed. dont just sign whatevers put in front of you!!

think about how much Stuff you have. are you moving out for the first time and have Jack Shit? well, you probs wont have conflicts like "whos couch do we keep?" which is nice. do you currently live on your own and have p much all your own furniture? might be a lil issue if your roomie is also established! just st you gotta work out with your roommate, and if nothing else you could always get a cheap storage locker to set aside shit you dont wanna get rid of til you know its gonna work out long term. if its st important, maybe say it in your listing. personally i noted in my listing "i got a big ass couch i dont wanna get rid of" and my roommate specifically contacted me like "oh yeah the couch is chill" so all twas fine 👍

and like. try to talk shit out w your roomie when issues arise instead of letting shit boil over. gotta get good at this myself!

sorry for being long and disorganized but those are just a few of the things that popped into my head lol, +anyone else w more roomie searching experience has any advice on the matter feel free to chime in! im not really an expert or nothin but also feel free to ask more questions, i can at least try to answer!

[snowmuttgetsweird]

8/9/24, morning

Roommate comes home today I'm so relieeeeeved

It's boring and lonely without him. Just feels like a massive bleak void in my life when he's not here. I'm bored he's not here, I'm lonely, I'm anxious I can't see him, and I get stir-crazy and lost and don't really know how to conduct myself. I would just be standing around thinking about what I should do and then end up doing push-ups or something just to work out some nervous energy.

In the meantime I picked up a handful of groceries yesterday to make sure I can make a nice brunch for him when he arrives, including a couple 5lb bags of rice. I washed out an empty 30lb bucket of cat litter cause it already has a lid and a handle and it seems to work just fine as a rice bucket- not for food storage but as a workout device.

Gave it a shot- get very much covered in rice starch, and the workout is definitely exhausting. Theoretically, it helps strengthen all the micro muscles in your forearms to help protect you from carpal tunnel, tennis elbow, etc; really good for keyboard warriors, artists, heavy lifters- pretty much anyone that uses their hands and fingers for a lot of strenuous or continuous activity. If nothing else, it sure does a hell of a job exfoliating my hands lol. Maybe this will finally fix my fucked up cuticles. Prolly gonna start wearing a mask while using the bucket though- I dunno how much dust it kicks up but I'd hate to develop a rice allergy this way.

Pretty disappointed I couldn't pick up that Gallantmon stuff the other day, but really I should have tempered my expectations more. I'm not as hung up on it now- I'll get it eventually, I just hate waiting for it to happen.

Dunno if I mentioned already, but I started taking metamucil too. I'm not a big milk drinker, but overnight oats and protein shakes and cottage cheese have me consuming a lot more dairy than I usually do, and diets with a lot of meat and dairy tend to cause GI issues, so I figured the extra fiber would probably be a good idea while on a high protein diet. The first few days suck- not particularly painful or uncomfortable, but really gassy, which is just kinda embarrassing and annoying to deal with. It passes after the first three or four days though, and I DO notice that I seem to have more consistent BMs, feel less bloated, less gassy, and a bit lighter. My appetite means I'm trying to pack as much protein into as little actual food as possible too given how hard it is to eat as much as I'm expected to, so I'm actually overeating a lot less, which also probably helps.

That said, I haven't been particularly strict on myself about food- more for philosophical reasons than anything. The goal is just to get the protein I need, and nothing else really matters atm. There's no point in eating anything I don't enjoy, and any goal that's completely miserable to achieve is phyrric. As long as I'm getting my protein and I'm lifting to the end of my sets every time while steadily increasing the weight I lift, I WILL build muscle, and those muscles will burn more calories, which will result in weight loss. As long as I stay on top of it at least 3 times a week (ideally more, but 3 is my bare minimum atm) and don't eat a GROSS excess of calories, all I need otherwise is trust, time, discipline, and patience- all things my ADHD-addled brain struggles with, lol.

I haven't been to the gym the last three days. Skipped one day cause I got home especially late and I was wiped, skipped the next cause I was depressed, skipped last night cause a bit of time-blindness had me going out to the grocery store pretty late at night, etc, so this week has been pretty bad for gym-going, but I'm gonna get back on it. Maybe not tonight cause I close at work and my roommate is finally back home- which does mean I'll be cooking dinner for both of us when I get back- but tomorrow I'm getting back into it with a vengeance.

Wish me luck.

[nicistrying]

Mental health update bc I need it off my chest:

So the first 2 weeks taking sertraline I was way way better. Like the difference in my moods, my attitude and my outlook on everything, my ability to cope with stress and actually do everyday stuff was crazy. However, the past few days I've kind of gone downhill and I'm really scared that it's not actually going to work for me in the long term. Or that I'll need a higher dose which I don't particularly want. I HAVE to bear in mind that I just came on and obviously that throws a whole load more hormones around and obviously makes me feel bloated and gross physically and tired, snappy and emotional. Like that is a big thing I need to remember. But it kind of sucks that Matthew has had to go visit his parents without me today which I hoped would be less of a thing now. But I just felt so anxious and insecure and really really didn't want to go so I didn't. But they're probably disappointed and wondering why isn't she getting better, she has her happy pills now she shouldn't be wimping out of coming to see us. I also feel so guilty bc we're putting an offer in on a house tomorrow and if it's accepted they'll be helping us a lot with the deposit, which is so kind of them and I appreciate it so much and I should really be showing my face to discuss the house with them and thank them. But instead I'm still in my pyjamas at 3pm and I haven't done any physical activity at all today or been outside or done anything. So if it's not that I'm depressed then I must just be really lazy? I can't help but come to the conclusion I'm just lazy. Nothing is stopping me really from going upstairs and working out. Really not a fan of myself today. That's the most neutral way I can word it atm 😕

[percussiongay]

yikeyikeyikeyikeyikeyikeyikeyike

[princesstillyenna]

generic question! do you answer all your ask? i wouldnt expect you to answer like the mean/rude ones but like do you answer most of them?

Hi Nonnie...

Yes, and at the same time no.

I try to answer all my asks. Sometimes I even answer the mean/rude ones if I think they're adding something to the discourse or if it's something that I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT. Sometimes the anons which are mean are clearly people without critical reading skills though and I ignore those because like... playing chess with a pigeon y'know?

Sometimes I stop a conversation at my inbox. Like, for example the tk/nolpats cheating/assuming non monogamy discourse ended up with an inbox that was LITERALLY 50% people going "Who the fuck needs to ASK if a relationship is monogomous, OBVIOUSLY IT IS, that is GROSS and Nolpats is just an evil cheating cheater in the gc" and the other 50% were people going "Um, why are there people in your blog saying that everyone assumes monogamy... WHO ASSUMES MONOGAMY????"

And yes, it was literally 50/50. I counted. The only thing I took away from it is the people who were pro "monogamy is the default and you should never have to ask if you're in a monogamous relationship" were a lot more aggressive about their opinions and a lot ruder than the people who were team "nothing is a default in a relationship, discuss everything" BUT that is largely I imagine because it is known what MY stance on the matter is.

BUT the point is, I didn't think that airing all of these on my tumblr was going to do anything except divide people further. It seems to be a cultural thing (purity culture vs not maybe?? idk, purity culture makes me 🤢) and that a bunch of people yelling at each other about their opinions was no longer discourse y'know? And I had expressly invited discourse about the way I'd WRITTEN it, not about people's opinions on whether there are default relationship assumptions.

Also I don't answer asks which are not anonymous. I've talked about why in the past, but basically there are those in hockey fandom who will hunt down anyone associated with me and I want to keep you, my lil meow meows safe. Yes nonnie, you are my blorbo now.

I also think that's the main reason WHY I have so many asks, because it's usual to discuss a fic in the comments on ao3, but like, quite rightly, most people don't want their usernames as comments on MY fic, so they come here instead to chat about it, which is cool :D I love anons just as much as I love comments and I feel more comfortable answering anons, I've got a bit... anxious... about answering comments on my fic atm.

Finally, I do occasionally get burnt out. Right now is the busiest time of year at work for me, which is burning me out HARD because I have to basically work all the hours I possibly can to then save money for the 2 months of the year where I get virtually no work. So I've been bunching together anons that I felt were similar enough? Just to like, try and reduce the load? But honestly, I love answering my tumblr anons. It really feeds into my narcissism (j/k)

So yeah, if you have an anon that hasn't been answered, it's either sitting in my inbox waiting for me to have the brain to answer it, or if it's particularly combative it may have been deleted?

[delusion-of-negation]

hope you get well soon <3

thank youuu 💙💙💜💚 tbh I might as well ask if anybody has any idea what it might be, since that symptom checker was so unhelpful (it can not be carbon monoxide for many reasons, like firstly I'd be dead by now, secondly I have that thing where you can't smell gas well, like loads of people have it, so they make things a bit like smoke alarms but for gas, and so I've got one)

a brief run-down of what's happened:

a couple days before any of this, I was laying in a weird way for alone time, and I slipped and it was only about an inch I moved but it twisted my neck funny and hurt a little, but then it was fine so I didn't think anything of it (still doubt it is related, but it's worth noting since years ago I had whiplash and that makes it easier to fuck up your neck again in the future iirc)

thursday I fell (this time sorting pets, and then got stabbed in a non-piercing way by the cage thing in ribs) and injured my side, I had a bit of trouble breathing and moving but doubt it was bad enough to break anything or whatever

saturday I fell again in the same way and so my side got worse as a result, but not agonising

sunday evening I saw something I have a bad phobia of, and had a panic attack, but not at all the worst panic attack I've ever had, like not in the top ten even, and I gradually calmed down

monday I started getting anxious and irritable, incredibly so, couldn't do anything but listen to angry music while curled up in a ball for most of the day, but there didn't seem to be a focus, like I wasn't anxious about anything specific

monday evening I started getting really dizzy, worsened substantially by moving, but not as bad as the time I had a really bad infection in my kidney or something that spread to my ear and for a week I needed to be escorted since I literally couldn't stand up from the vertigo

tuesday the dizziness continued and I became incredibly nauseous, with only one break long enough to eat a few jaffa cakes (images of any gross things don't usually make me nauseous, but atm I can not look at any), otherwise food is absolutely sickening to think about, but the anxiousness thankfully subsided into just sort of a background depression and malaise, that pain in my head was a very weird sickly numb sort of feeling all over, like a concussion or like a migraine but sound/light didn't affect it at all

tuesday evening I became really dissociated or confused, my memory was choppy and I kept getting my words mixed up, but honestly it felt better than the depression, not sure if that was the result of painkillers and anxiety meds, tbh I described it as feeling like a background npc in somebody else's life but in a good way, calmly, but the pain also eased temporarily overall, but was a much more intense "normal" pain in the back of my head and lesser across the top

since sunday night I think, as I said earlier, I've been having more vivid dreams than normal (I usually get vivid dreams anyway), in these I'll often feel really sick, and I just feel really odd

the dizziness is like I'm leaning off something I could fall from most of the time, sometimes so low I'll barely notice it, but when I move it can either spin wildly or go wobbly and disorienting

my prevailing theory is that it's all just my brain doing a psychosomatic clusterfuck because of the stress I've been under, with an anemia flare up in second, mild ear infection in third (that is an explanation of why I've been falling over so much prior to today, like if that's caused by this not visa versa), a migraine that just wants to be special and different to my normal ones as my fourth guess, fifth that I injured something the times I fell, and sixth I'm not totally ruling out a carbon monoxide theory because that's funny and also my gas meter has been playing up, so if anyone knows any way to rule things out it's chill to let me know (can't go to my gp, they're slimy cunts, and don't wanna go to A&E unless it gets so bad I'd be willing to risk covid for it)

[flamingo-writes]

Here With Me — Bakugo x Reader. Ch 1

Multichapter, Chapter 1: Can I Tell You Something Just Between You And Me?

[Next]

Summary: After hearing endless stories about Kirishima’s sister, the two of them finally meet. And for the first time, Bakugo feels something new in him, something he knows and hates to admit it. 

A/N: I’ve been thinking abut this for almost a month now, but didn’t bring myself to write it. Now, being thinking about this for so long, I guess it was obvious it’d end up as a multi chapter (to my own surprise, can you believe that?). I’ll try to post this constantly, also to force myself to write because I’ve been ridiculously lazy about writing for a while now and I want to break that slump. If you’d like to be tagged, please let me know! Also, one of my favorite songs inspired this title. Here With Me by Marshmello ft Chvrches

Posted: 01.28.2020

Word Count: 1.6K

Warnings: none

Something Bakugo Katsuki found oddly curious at first was how close Kirishima Eijiro was to his sister. Up to this point, he knew you from sight. You picked up Kirishima from school three times a week. He knew your name from the countless times your little brother talked about you. You were quirkless and you were on your last year of high school and were working with a paramedic, as their apprentice, with the intention to become one in the future. 

It was stupid how much Kirishima talked about you, thought Bakugo. The admiration was evident, although it kinda made sense to Bakugo, since, despite being quirkless, you were still determined to become someone who helped people.

“Today my sister got her acceptance letter from the college she applied to!” Kirishima cheered as he walked out of the classroom, ready to head back. 

“Congrats” Bakugo said dryly not really caring. 

“We’re going to her favourite restaurant. Wanna come with us?” 

“Why would I want to go to your sister’s dinner?” 

“She told me I could invite you! She knows a thing or two about you from anecdotes, plus she watched the sports festival” 

“Yeah?” Bakugo asked, still uninterested. 

“Yeah! C’mon dude! You’ll like her, she’s cool! Besides, there’s this delicious spicy hot curry you have to try!” Wrapping an arm around his friend’s shoulders, he knew the idea of spicy food would catch his attention.

And despite his best attempts to turn him down, the idea of trying spicy food was appealing. Considering it was free food, Bakugo agreed not as bitterly. 

By the time the two of them walked towards the entrance, Kirishima spotted your small blue car. As usual, Eijiro climbed into the seat next to yours, as Bakugou sat behind you. 

“Bakugo, this is my sis! Sis, Bakugo” Kirishima smiled proudly, as the endless stories finally took a human shape for Bakugo to see up close.

“It’s good to finally meet you, Bakugo-kun” You said looking at him from the rear mirror and smiling warmly. 

“Yeah, same… “ Bakugo hissed in a low voice. “Congrats, by the way” He said lowly more as a polite gesture towards Kirishima, than to yourself. 

“Thank you! How kind of you” you cheered smiling through the mirror once more.

There was something in your kindness that felt repulsive at first to him. He wasn’t used to that sort of gentle kindness. However, seeing you interact with his friend was a whole different story. 

The closeness, and genuine bond the two of you shared. He’d never seen Eijiro so relaxed, and the way you seemed to flow with the same natural chill, talking back and forth as if you two were the closest friends, surprised him. 

It made him painfully aware of his aggressive nature. Growing up as a prodigy, sure made him turn into someone arrogant. He knew this, but wasn’t precisely bothered by it. However, that same arrogance always kept his friends at a considerable distance. He found himself craving a close bond like the one he was seeing before him. What does it feel like, having someone you trust so unconditionally? 

It didn’t come as a surprise to him, that you were so friendly. Your brother, Eijiro, was no different. And it still amazed him how despite his sarcasm and mood swings, Kirishima didn’t seem to mind any of it and stuck by his side. Always with a smile on his face. You were as friendly, and ignored his rudeness with such an ease that he felt both bothered and intrigued. 

*

And that’s how it began. After that celebration dinner something in him happened. There was this faint trace of anxiety that twisted his gut whenever he saw you or heard your name. He wasn’t stupid, and right away could put a name to whatever he was feeling. Even though he refused to admit it, even to himself. 

Since that day, Kirishima was constantly inviting him over for dinner, or you gave him a ride home after school. Bakugo was constantly seeing you. He liked it, but he also hated it. He hated feeling anxious and sweatier than usual when you were around. He hated the beats his heart would skip whenever you smiled at him. He hated even thinking about what was going on with him. He’d never felt anything similar towards anyone, and it annoyed him that he didn’t know how to deal with it

“Oi, Bakugo” Kirishima greeted him walking up to him in the hall. “Hey, can I ask you something real quick?”

“You just did” Katsuki said monotonously. 

“Clever, but no” Kirishima chuckled. “D’you mind if I give your phone number to my sister? She asked me for it on my way here, but I thought I’d ask you first, dude” 

Bakugo’s heart seemed to stop briefly as he suddenly felt dizzy. 

“What?” He growled. 

“She showed me this very funny meme, and told me she’d like to send it to you. You’ll like it” 

“Couldn’t she sent it to you and you show it to me?” Bakugo growled, suddenly nervous that you wanted his number. Was he being obvious? Getting altered this much by just a number? Bakugo suddenly felt paranoid.

“We didn’t think of it. Anyways, can I?” Kirishima chuckled awkwardly, not thinking much of his friend's behaviour. It was just textbook Bakugo.

In an attempt to read Kirishima's body language, for the sake of his consuming nerves and self awareness, Bakugo didn't conclude anything. He sighed deeply, trying to bring himself to relax.

“Do whatever the fuck you want, I don’t care” He said walking inside the classroom, trying his best to "act normal" even though he had been since the beginning. 

“Great!” Kirishima said, hopping to his seat and typing on his phone.

During the class, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. Briefly, a couple of times. His mind, instantly paranoid, he thought that it might be you. Discreetly, he pulled his phone out and looked at the screen, announcing a couple of new messages from an unknown number. 

'Hello Bakugo-kun, it’s me!' He read the notification. 

Unlocking his phone, he opened his messages to the sweet surprise.

'Hello Bakugo-kun, it’s me! Kirishima [Name]! How is it going? Sorry to bother you, can I tell you something just between you and me?  Also! Here, have a meme to brighten up your day!' 

Tch, how dumb...He thought, yet with a gentle smile on his face.

'I told Eiji-chan' — Katsuki began reading

Eiji-chan? I'm gonna use that to tease him, Katsuki thought looking up from his phone and looking at the red head sitting in front of him.

—'I’d give him a gift for entering UA,'- He continued reading your texts —'but I haven’t bought him anything. I am the worst sister, I swear! Then I thought "I could throw him a surprise party" and then it occurred to me, why not invite his UA friends and celebrate that all of you made it in??'

Before answering, he saved your number.

'How corny, jfc' He typed and sent it to you.

You didn't take long to answer his text. And after a few minutes his phone vibrated a few times once more.

'Thank you. I’d like to keep it a secret, though. You think you could help me organize it? Invite his friends, and organize them. I’ll get everything for the party. Will you help me?'

'You seriously are the cheesiest, it's grossing me out' He answered. 'Fine, I’ll do it'

'Yay! Thank you Bakugo-kun! ♡♡ I owe you BIG!!'

'Yeah, sure. I’m in class atm, I’m trying to pay attention'

'Oh right! I’m I'm sorry for distracting you! Have an enriching class, Bakugo-kun! Text ya later!'

As much as he tried to concentrate, it was hard in the beginning. The scene kept replaying in his head a few times before he was able to focus on the class. The set of hearts framing his name puzzled him. A torturous shame made him feel dumb, getting excited over a few texts, how lower could he sink? 

After class, he texted you once or twice throughout the afternoon. Trying his best not to desperately open your text to answer them. He wasn't going to become a desperate idiot like everyone else around him usually did when they had a cru--

"[Name]'s here!" Kirishima's voice distracted him from his thoughts as he looked at your car. "Bye bro! See you tomorrow!" Kirishima hopped like a sheep towards the car, goad that school was over. 

You looked at Bakugo and waved at him as he just raised his hand in response. His heart wild in his chest, he remembered he was about to admit his crush on you. And with every curse word he knew, he cursed at himself.

"Bakugo-kun!" You shouted from the car. "You want a ride home?" 

He looked at you, ans seriously thought about it. Already having a hard time trying to pretend he wasn't developing a crush on you. He looked at his feet, trying to bring himself to reject the ride this time. 

"Nah, I'm good" he said. "I feel like walking today?" 

"You sure?" You insisted. 

For fucks sake, stop! He thought, feeling his body tense up. 

"Yeah" He hissed.

"Okay then. Be careful though! Text us when you get home safe and sound" 

It was very uncomfortable how much you seemed to watch over him. Maybe it was your older-sister instincts kicking in. But not even his mother worried that much about him. 

Bakugo didn't answer. He just stared quietly. Interpreting his silence as a yes, you waved at him once more before driving off.

[diamondlifescenarios]

Boyfriend Vernon

oh this mf kid...

Squishiest bf ever

Very infectious laugh

Everything is super chill w/ this dude

Fav thing to do is just hang out, be lazy and listen to some music

Pls hype this man up, I feel like maybe he doesn’t realize how gr8 he is?? Like he’s aware of his talent and potential but maybe still has some uncertainty/insecurities (totally valid Vernon my dude)

Probably ur #1 fan, this man be simping

Everything is all nice and chill until memesol comes out

Memesol = chaotic but the good kind

Bonus points if you’re also a massive meme bc then y’all can be the dream meme team

Idk why but I can totally see him being like “hey babe, got u a bouquet” and then shows up with a bouquet of like chicken nuggets or of broccoli idk man. You’d just be like “bruh ...” and he’d be like “to be fair... never specified what kind of bouquet”

You still love him tho, even when he’s being a silly boy

Would bring you to a bunch of places where there’s good food (I’m just thinking of that clip where hao, Vernon, and I think mingyu are at a resto and they ordered like 6 dishes n Vernon was just like 🤯🤯🤯 when it came to eating the food lmfao)

Would def want you to get along with his family (esp his sister)

Motherfucker’s heart would melt if you took selfies/hung out with his sister and sent him pics

Pls make jokes abt how you love his sister more than him, he’ll get pouty but he knows it’s all for shits n giggles.

But fr I feel like he’d feel a bit more at ease when leaving for tour or smth knowing that you’d be there for his family if needed

Also goes without saying but pls get along with his members

Would text you as much as possible

I feel like he’d also text you random shit at like 3am??? Stuff like “if I believe in aliens... does that mean that aliens believe in me???”

Also would text you good morning and try to be all cute n shut

So much that the members would make fun of him

He gets a little embarrassed at times but it’s real cute

Def would buy you cute lil trinkets from all the places he’s travelled to

Also catches me as someone who just likes to spent time with his s/o in silence. Like in the same room but doing their own things.

Also a big cuddler & u can’t convince me otherwise. Also probs loves being the small spoon and I’m all for it #smallspoonsol

He’d be really appreciative if you notice his little habits like if he bit on his pen/pencil when he’s super anxious or his jaw clenched up when he’s stress bc if you notice these then you can match what his energy needs n it makes him feel better

I think that he falls in love with more of the little things??? Like the sound of your laugh of the way you look when you wake up. Like obvs he thinks you’re pretty great overall but it’s more of the intimate moments that really hits him hard

Lyrics will be written about you, no he won’t show you until he thinks it’s good bc it’s a lil embarrassing for him atm

Also I just don’t see him as the type of person to let a fight drag on??? Kinda like if you do fight ( which happens in relationships ) I like to think that he’d take the “never go to sleep mad at each other” stance

Also would ask him members n sister on advice n opinions when/if y’all fight

V opened minded and would want his s/o to be too

110% would give you a big ol sweaty hug just cause he knows you think it’s a lil gross

Idk man can u imagine making him laugh n smile n shit?? I’m so soft

Protect him n he will protect you

Bc he’s still really young, I see him as being still a little awkward with the whole dating aspect (that and he’s been training/working since like 2012-2013 I think so that’s most of his teenage years)

I mean he’s a lil awkward in general but we love him anyways

His romantic gestures wouldn’t be like big massive fill your entire room with roses kind of thing (at least in my opinion) it would be a lot of small stuff like getting you some Starbucks on his way over to yours or bringing an extra jacket on a night out bc he knows you’re being stubborn and that you’re gonna he cold later on

Def would let you steal his clothes, might protest a little but he knows that you know that he knows that you look cute af

Overall I see him a a chaotic but wholesome bf and like damn it rly do be Vernon loving hours

[justdyingslowly]

1. Name justdyingslowly obviously come on

2. Nationality Australian

3. Age 22

4. Birthday nnnah dont feel like it

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) Libra/Scorpio cusp

6. Gender wamon

7. Sexuality very very hetero

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) androgenous

9. What do you/did you study? Psychology (focus on sexology) and art.

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I am disabled you think I can work ha sexologist would be awesome. When I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman but Australias always burning

-

11. Your birth order head first

12. How many siblings do you have? 1

13. Do you have good relations with your family? yeah dads finally out of his abusive relationship, nearing age 70 and his emotions and his sexuality are finally opening up for the first time and that makes me SO happy.

14. How many friends do you have? what kind of fucked up question is this.

15. Your relationship status relationshipped. Fiance? got the marriage papers in a drawer somewhere with the car rego but can’t be fucked filling them?

16. What do you look for in a SO? empathetic, mature, calm. Always open to discussion. Prefers to be blunt rather than secretive. Emotional age over 14 (incredibly fucking rare apparently). Puts an importance on context and understanding other views above all else.

17. Do you have a crush? Hellll yeah Crush on my partner and got a crush on a mutual friend of ours who don’t even know hes cute af hehe one day partners gonna accidentally spill the beans and embarrass me coz hes shit with secrets RIP me.

18. When did you have your first kiss? You think I can remember this bullshit? Its not that big a deal

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? One night stand sex almost exclusively sucks. Just. SUCKS. Because neither of you know what the other likes and it ends up being an awkward mix of trying to please yourself while trying to also be considerate.

20. What are your deal breakers? Plugging your ears to anything that feels gross, uncomfortable or disagrees with you. How can you grow as a person without introspection? How can you mold what you think and believe without taking in other arguments and comparing them to your beliefs to see how they stack up? Its pathetic.

-

21. How was your day? cute mutual friend had a fall this morning and were both worried about him. His back is bad and he’s getting a little older, he can’t be getting dizzy and having falls like that. other than that im anxious about seeing my gastro. He’s lovely but... specialists are specialists. Good at knowing what they know but not always great at listening.

22. Favourite food & drink you think im allowed to eat or drink? water and... foods a touchy subject.

23. What position do you sleep in? Usually on my side with a body pillow to grip so I don’t end up choking my partner in his sleep.

24. What was your last dream about? uuhhh...going to italy and being unable to get into this tiny basket boat properly.

25. Your fears does PTSD to medical shit count haha

26. Your dreams ... going to italy and being unable to get into a tiny basket boat thingy?

27. Your goals - get some sort of diagnosis eventually. Its been 3 years of trying and im tired. - get back to studying art part time for my bachelors. - pass JLPT N3. - go back to university for psychology. - do the dishes when I get home.

28. Any pets? two budgies. we also take care of any orphaned or injured birds.

29. What are your hobbies? feeling nauseous drawing writing a little bit im making a little gameboy game in C atm too

30. Any cool places in your area? i live next to a national park with waterfalls and koalas and emus and stuff

31. What was your last awkward situation? mutual friend made a comment on his chest i playfully smacked it (related to the comment) it was surprisingly hard “O-oh wow, thats... I didnt expect that” my partner laughed at me. it was awful.

32. What is your last regret? getting embarrassed at friends pecs stop making me think about it 33. Language/s you can speak english. N4 Japanese.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) of course not what the fuck

35. Have any quirks? Quirkless. I do wiggle when im happy though apparently.

36. Your pet peeves open doors.

37. Ideal vacation spend a months chilling in an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

38. Any scars? internal? yes

39. What does your last text message say? peepee poopoo ustinky

40. Last 5 things from your search history how do i find this

41. What’s your [device] background? Sam Porter Bridges walkin around Sam Porter Bridges cuddling BB-28 Louise while he sleeps my chicken

42. What do you daydream about? all might

43. Describe your dream home an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion its a comforting thought having a parent-figure who cares about you and looks after all the big things you can’t manage yourself, but institutionalizing it runs a severe risk of becoming harmful cults. And it often does.

45. Your personality type me

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done i saw the lost bunny that was on all the posters in the neighbourhood looked thin and patchy so i grabbed him to take him home. im allergic. sent me to hospital and I almost died.

47. Are you happy with your current life? feeling sick sucks and partners having a depressive episode but things are pretty good

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life living

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? blacks, reds, whites and pinks

50. Favourite colour to wear? at the moment pink. Red is always comforting though.

51. How would you describe your style? mix between lazy alternative punk, teenager with band shirts and harajuku peach kawaii uwu

52. Are you happy with your current looks? kinda wish i was a bit shorter but what can you do

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? bit shorter

54. Any tattoos or piercings? lol no PTSD

55. Do you get complimented often? by who? partner constantly, family haha are you kidding im australian so a friend’s version of showing affection is calling you a cunt and slapping your ass in public

56. Favourite aesthetic? all might

57. A popular trend that you dislike blocking because you disagree or find them distasteful. Ignoring all context to opposing thoughts and arguments. taking a personal feeling of disgust to mean something is evil. Blocking your ears to anything that isn’t a circlejerk of what you already think - and trying to isolate anyone who even just listens to something other then the noise of your sloppy dicks to have a thought of their own.

-

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with? The Machine by Low Roar

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like. why wouldnt i admit i like a song

60. Favourite genre? probably enka haha

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? probably enka haha oh and tatsuro yamashita

62. Hated popular songs/artists? why the hell would I hate something like a song? I hate aspects of the music industry as a whole I guess?

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 which playlist they aren’t all together in one place

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? piano, saxophone... uh... partners good at making music and playing shakuhachi

65. Do you like karaoke? no.

66. Own any albums? yes? many?

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? no. but triple J, ABC Jazz and Classical. sometimes they even play final fantasy and JRPG music on classical which is pretty neat. -

68. Favourite movie/series? can i make this about games because then the answer is Metal Gear Solid

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc ...shounen?

70. Your fictional crush/es if they’re over 40yrs old, male and happy and bubbily or grumpy and sad then there’s a big ol fat chance I wanna bone. Solid Snake from MGS4, All Might and pretty much anyone drawn by Tarou Madoromi.

71. Which fictional character is you? uh

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so what does this even mean what language is this

73. Favourite greek god? idk hades seems chill

74. A legend from where you live that you like the story of Tjilbruke is funny and good. all Kaurna stories are good.

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist? im in a big egon schiele mood atm.

76. Can you share your other social media? no i am incapable

77. Favourite youtubers? many

78. Favourite platform? not too high up. actually i like being a little lower than ground level in corners.

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite? look i just want to say that MGS4 is the best one in the series and Death Stranding is phenomenally engaging.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) these are all so goddamn definitive how can I pick? Oh wait the answer is One Piece

82. Do you play board/card games? I play DnD atm and know 15 yr old rules to Yugioh

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? that shit dosn’t happen here

84. Favourite holiday golden week coz its a week also easter because thats when all the glucose based sweets come back

85. Are you into dramas? what kind

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? no. thats called being a murderer.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? chill people out a bit. when people feel unsafe they get really depenfive and territorial and block their ears to everything, making in-and-out groups for themsevles that end up putting them in more harm.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? im disabled with a disabled partner. we arent funny sure we can survive normal everyday life when society is angled so sharply against us.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? id like to be a mimi spirit

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? spooky time

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? toshinori yagi

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? anyone healthy

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo that cursed one with the intense eyes and the hand

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true im me im not me im pee

-

95. Cold or hot? cold.

96. Be a hero or be a villain? both are distasteful ideas in reality

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? i can’t do either partner speak sin bad puns and its hell, these both sound about equal

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting. controlling time is eithe rmanipulative or lonely. shapeshifing is every other superpower at once.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death? both are deeply upsetting ideas

100. ….. or …..? jiji or ossan? generally Jiji, but ossans can be lovely too.

[pacifv]

HE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mik      Age: 26      Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Eden ( in bleach ) -- I have other ocs but that’s another story Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Eden... ? Current Fandom(s): Bleach , so far Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  more fantasy esque ones?  My language(s): spanish , english  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: fantasy , religious

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM since this is pretty much new . just slap me with that and if you have some ideas , better --- if not let just brainstorm with what we have in hand . 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  some minimal idea of the context and eden’s character . some ideas if possible . more than often I have gotten people straight up jump with no clue of what even is going on in my side character wise . 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  depends , most likely really stop trying or let it sink . I’m not much of a person who would pressure for ideas when they don’t even come naturally for me in these kind of situations . 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  First of all , ask what they particularly want and if they read the bio . and of course , have their bio as well ( if oc or any relevant hc on vague canons ) . I am honestly a bit shy on the input but if I found a ground to start letting my imagination loose ( like , something in common between characters or something that clicks well with my muse ) I can suggest several things . but in any case , I’m pretty passive and it’s a lot of gives and takes . 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: depends on the thread , the time and the interest . things that go downtown in the excitement scale are :/  and I can’t blame anyone for dropping a thread . not all the time you will have muse for them , tho , if it was a relevant thread I would ask at least . - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  pretty much free to tell me or not . I’m no one to judge.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  losing muse , interest , time ... pretty much the same . feeling like my muse is going too OOC for the sake of the other muse or smth .  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  I am very old school and having some OOC interaction to at least know how things are going , it’s as much as I can ask here .  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  I mean , I should . it can turn me off a bit but it’s just natural ? there’s no way something can be perfect or be of someone’s taste . plus I am not that smart to be fully aware of all the things around the motif and IRL information I use on my muse . I’m no book , buddy. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  development , exploring the muse , seeing what works and doesn’t work . often new blogs for me are basically prototypes , they are and will  most likely have minor or major modifications as my imagination starts working and getting excited . besides , in the basics , you can hardly manage to cover all ( if anything ) of how one’s muse would react to X situation .

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  a lot of quincy lore , come up with more personal connections with other quincies , fully develop a backstory and a post war scenario . cultural exploration  --- relationships of all kinds . 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  pretty much I am fine with anything as long as we don’t cross the gross line . but I’m not afraid of the dark .

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: absurdly basic and with no context given . not even have an idea of what is the deal between muses . I can squeeze my brain but there is as much as i can do with little information .

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  quirky ones , conflictive ones , most likely muses with specific motifs that spark my interest -- deepness . Aesthetically interesting ones . but overall , those who have out of the normal personalities . 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  personalities that doesn’t work or do not harmonize with the context of their characters . that’s all I can say .

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I am.... creative ? gdi I did this meme already but it’s hard to reply these two ones. I am easily excitable . if we end up in a ship , expect me to be pampering af . I really enjoy the exploration of relations between people , emotions and psychological stuff tied around it . I do like casual and also very deep things . I’m not afraid of dealing with heavy topics . I like horror ???? also I am very into the secondary character role , as in : my muse is here to help your muse to grow or insight . that stuff . not much of a protagonist role in RPs. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I’m .... very.... sporadic . My mood is annoying esp when I’m “new” blog around kind of thing . I’m shy , even if I don’t seem so --- I get pretty anxious over details . I am impatient --- with myself . I want to do so many things at the same time I end up overwhelmed . 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  mmmmmmmmm , both. Depends on mood and context tbh . - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  nothing I can think from the top of my head.

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  again , I’m big mood for interpersonal relationships ( romantic or not ) , the pros and cos of certain traits , ideology clash , personality clash , anything that comes in a relation that could make it come and go .  - What is your smut tag?: unholy.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: all are hella okay for me . pre- est is my jam bc jesus christ the awkward first encounters make me go blue screen .

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  the fact she is basically a “religious fanatic” , with a quirky personality and a questionable morality , considering she has an inner conflict between the wellness of her race and her loyalty towards yhwach . At least pre war . post war , she has a flipped personality were she is mostly bitter and more angsty but will go from fanatic to straight up hater . 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   bland personalities ? not sure myself , Eden is pretty much ready for anything since her personality is pretty laid back . I guess I would say shinigamis in general --- since she basically is stuck inside Silbern . - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Quincies , ofc . and people who are willing to put up with her crap .

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  the prosperity of the quincy , doing a proper duty , order , tea , annoying the fuck out of people . being eerie ....  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  the ideal world as thought by Yhwach --- later on simply for her kind to survive after losing the war and being left to their luck . - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  mmm , appearance  and reactions to her witty or narcisistic comments .  - What do they value in a person?:    loyalty , uniqueness . - What themes do they like talking about?:  most likely about the order of the army , tea stuff , herself (?) , but she is also a lot for debates and insight . - Which themes bore them?:  rebellious , silly thoughts . justice related topics . anything that critics her loyalty/life style . 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  the first war was enough ? most likely losing comrades --- yhwach sacrificing the quincy for power later on .  - What could possibly trigger them?:  the simple sight of anyone laying a finger of the quincy for being against their views .   - What could set them off, enrage them?:  nothing. she cannot literally , physically get angry or enraged . but if we are talking bitter , that would be completely post war and it’s just the mention of yhwach’s name or those who went to god’s palace with him .  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  invasion of silbern , chaos . 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  chaos , rebels , shinigami , anyone against the quincy . - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   her race , her pride , herself .

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  just .... come to her and say hi . she is literally wandering around silbern all the time ( quincy speaking tho ) . for others , eh ... good luck . and wait post war (?) - Where are they usually to find?:  Silbern ... then Siberia . 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  She is no saint , clearly . She has a questionable sense of things like loyalty and preservation of her race . she is honestly all over the place

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  honestly stole from @skyvar​  Tagging:  no one in particular.

[hanabiira]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Bunny   AGE: 26      CONTACT: IM & Discord

CHARACTER(S): OCs, and technically Kensei but I have neglected him as of late. 

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach 

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR:  None that I’ve actually written yet but I have an Avatar LOK AU for Miki.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English, no other languages I can fluently write in. I can read hiragana and katakana and very basic elementary kanji. 

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sports / Music / Science / Fight / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc.

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS (for OOC questions only) / PERSONALS (for OOC questions only) / ANONS. (for OOC/IC questions)

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES (please do!) / NO    only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: crack / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK.

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY I

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS (if I know the fandom) / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING:  Tumblr IM or if you know me, discord. Once you have my discord there’s no reason to IM me really. I’m more likely to notice a message from discord than tumblr since I have discord on my phone and laptop. 

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: I mean, if we’re actively plotting something I at least expect some back and forth?? But if it’s just general spewing of shit about stuff our characters might do I don’t necessarily expect it to become a thread or anything. Sometimes I just like to scream and think about stuff with other people lmao.I don’t even really expect plotting all the time, unless you have a really good idea then I’m all for it!! totally!! I love a good plotted thread but I am also cool just going with the punches. 

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: If the person doesn’t seem into it I’ll probably just drop it? I’m not going to pressure anyone into any sort of rp they’re not vibing with, it’s fine. 

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  I love that this meme assumes I plot a lot lmfao. Uhh...I find it quite difficult to come up with a lot of different active scenarios or stories but I do frequently like to discuss what ifs between my characters and whoever I’m talking to and that often can evolve into an idea for a thread which I am all for taking places. I wouldn’t necessarily call it plotting because it doesn’t always have to turn into something, but its just fun little banter about our characters and their reactions. If I am trying to buckle down and plot I will do my best to contribute to whatever we’re trying to plan? 

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: I won’t be mad, just be like ‘hey can we drop this?’ and I’ll be like “cool”. I get that sometimes you just can’t find the words to reply to something and that’s ok. But just let me know so I’m not sitting there waiting for a reply I’m never going to get. 

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?:  Either an natural ending of the thread or I just....can’t think of any juice to keep it going and get stuck behind a wall. I am MORE than happy to start something fresh and new when threads are ended or dropped! 

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: I think a lot of misunderstanding stems from a lack of communication. Do I talk OOC with ALL the people I rp with? No, but If I have concerns or questions about a thread or something we’re doing I am 100% going to talk to them about it to make sure nothing gets misconstrued. I get people get anxious but like...if you have the balls to write a character on the internet with a stranger you can send them an IM if you have a questions/concerns. None of us are mind readers, so don’t leave your partner in the dark about your thoughts and feelings. Obviously if they are writing with you they don’t hate you. 90% of us don’t bite and are just lame nerds behind a computer screen, so.... 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: I mean, I’m not going to LOVE hearing something negative but if its a valid point or concern I’m absolutely going to listen to it and try to rectify it? Problem is a lot of people thinly spew hate or baseless negativity and then thinly veil it as “criticism” that stems their personal feelings about a character than it really is anything constructive, which is a no go for me.  Will I 100% always agree with how everyone else plays their characters? No, but if its not hurting anyone and they’re having fun I’m not going to say anything to them. I 100% welcome constructive criticism or tough questions! It’s one way to improve. 

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: My goal is really just to have fun and enjoy myself. The longer I am here the less I am worried about doing big deep threads or having amazing fancy graphics for that RPC clout. I’m here to have fun with my friends and play my OC that I love. Again, I don’t profess myself to be much of a writer so I’m not technically here to really further and deepen my writing skills. That sounds bad, I don’t mean to say I am adverse to improvement and I am always looking for ways or feedback that could make my storytelling better, but it is not my main goal or reason for why I rp, if that makes sense. Telling a narrative has always been something that’s been difficult for me (I HATED having to write stories in school and avoided creative writing like the plague) but I really welcome ways that could help me be better, because it hasn’t always been something natural to me. 

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  I YEARN for a good thread with a Shunsui about Miki taking over the 8th division and how she changes it since his time there. She really worries about still holding onto his legacy while also making a name for herself and differentiating herself from him and how he ran things and would really want his feedback and approval. I would also really love if there were some characters that really took an interest in the kinds of stuff she does with the things she grows in her garden and greenhouse. It is more than just “ooh, look at the pretty flowers” and it is not really something I’ve gotten to explore despite my time here. 

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: Anything gross. Rape/noncon/underage/furry or weird extreme fetish shit. I 100% do not vibe with racism, transphobia, homophobia, etc. I do not mind some darker themes but I don’t really have any interest on writing any threads where Miki is deeply deeply hurt or tortured or anything like that, which kind of falls under the gore category. Will I write her injured and do I welcome some kinds of sparring/fighting threads? Yes. But I won’t subject her to gross violence and having the shit being beat out of her. Miki is not infallible but I don’t want to write it. 

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?:  Starters that are too open ended, start with a general with a question and/or little scenario building. You know like the “why are you here”, “what are you doing”, “who are you” sorts of starters. They’re boring and I will most likely run out of ways to keep going with them. Set a scene for me and I will have a much easier time! 

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  That’s a good question...Miki tends to like friendly people (obviously) but also gets a kick out of interacting with cold or difficult to talk to characters (think Soi fon, Kensei, Byakuya etc) because she sees it as something of a challenge. She wants to see if she can befriend them. I also like characters that have an interesting theme or shitck . 

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: Characters that are not really in her age group (think the karakura kids). I have the most difficult time thinking about how they might even interact in a way that is not on the most superficial level. Also characters that I can’t realistically see her meeting or running into. 

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I am pretty easy to reach OOC, and once I’m in I’m in. I love talking about our characters interactions and will spam you with asks and shit if that’s what you want. I will talk all day about our characters if you let me. I will send you stupid memes. Even if I am not posting on tumblr I’m easily reached through discord. And Idk my oc is good??? maybe??? 

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I would say I’m inconsistent? I know its covid times right now but I do work a full time job that takes a lot of my time and energy usually and I absolutely can’t write when I’m mentally exhausted. It won’t happen. So there may be times where you just won’t see any posting from me and it may take a long time for me to answer a thread or ask. As much as I also don’t like to label myself this way...I guess I technically do suffer from chronic pain (I have a hip malformation), and sitting is one of the things that really can exacerbate my hip and back pain meaning sometimes I just can’t tolerate sitting at my desk for very long or even sitting up in my bed which really prevents me from writing sometimes even when I want to. I wish mobile draft writing was better lol 

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO/ DEPENDS.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: Too much smut is boring, obviously, and I’m not really a fan of smut really just for the sake of smut and threads like that tend to die for me.  And I also don’t rp smut with just anyone, there has to be an established relationship between the characters. But if it flows with the story and it makes sense for the scenario then yeah, I’m down for a good smut thread. 

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: I’m pretty vanilla and I didn’t really give Miki anything that’s really nonstandard. I’m not going to shame anyone for what they’re into or their characters but there’s just kinks I couldn’t convincing write, would be ooc, or I just would be too embarrassed. So far I have not run into anything weird though. 

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?:   YES / NO 

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES?? / NO. Though I mean ship not in a strictly romantic ship sense. I value all ships as in friendships and other relationships, mentor mentee, etc. and it really helps drive story for both characters I think. Miki CRAVES FRIENDSHIPS!! SHE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND!! LET HER!! Even negative relationships have value.  

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF (ooc stuff).

ARE YOU:  Multi-ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse.

- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - As long as its discussed before hand or is easily implied (say like, an 8th lieutenant). 

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?:  Miki is unique, I’d like to think. She is a blend of soft and gentle, but also stubborn, opinionated and desperate to prove that she shouldn’t be messed with. I basically wanted a character that just seemed like a living and breathing springtime breeze. I’m not saying necessarily that some of the tropes she holds are entirely unique to the series, but I think its the blend of all her aspects that make her different compared to other canon characters. Plus if you love that plant and flower aesthetique™ you have come to the right place. Plus she takes it further than just an aesthetic or a surface level “I like flowers” aspect of her personality. It runs so deep and she is so passionate about it in so many different ways. 

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  Again, ones that I can’t find much of a commonality with so those who are not her age or are strictly human. Though it is not impossible to interact with humans, I prefer to develop her story within the scene of the Seireitei. Also characters that are super volatile and aggressive. 

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  Peace, accomplishment, happiness mostly. Miki wants to be recognized for her hard work as well as desires to form positive relationships with others. She wants the Gotei to feel less disjointed. 

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  The way they talk, their facial expressions, their eyes. 

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  Kindness, determination, drive, sense of humor. 

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  Plants, flowers, flower arranging, gardening, poisonous plants and their potential affects and uses, tea, shitty jokes, food, general day to day gossip, handsome men (lol), books, kido and other shinigami arts, human world stuff. 

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: Math, long convoluted talks about history, people who talk too much about themselves. 

- DID THEY EVER GO THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  The thousand year bloodwar. The death of a romantic partner. The death of her mother. 

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  It’s really hard to imagine a scenario where Miki would immediately go in for the kill zero questions asked with no context. Probably only if it’s someone known to be a threat, has done things that are terrible, and is likely to continue being a threat to others or is actively killing/about to kill someone else. 

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  Birds. Hypocrites. Super self important people. 

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  Just roll up on her. She’s easily found in her barracks. 

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: uuuuuh she bean.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @bazzardburner technically but for quincy miki which I will also tweak and post there. 

[fakexface]

Hey! I’m the Anon who asked about Empire of dirt and wanted to take up your offer ;www; can I request Sal x Reader but the Reader is really depressed and suicidal, and he finds them toying with a knife..? Like they believe that they’re worthless and that they don’t deserve anyone. Something like that? I’m having a hard time atm ;^; if that’s too angsty or triggering I understand

Oh, anon, darling, I relate tothis on such a personal level. I won’t tell a sob story here, but this hitsclose to home. But I want you to know that while life may seem bleak and pointlessright now- it isn’t. You are not worthless. Things will get better (as clichéas that saying is); it’s shit right now, but it will get better. Trust me onthat; 4 years ago I was in a v bad place, too. Please, reach out to yourfriends or family or even a teacher that you trust if you need someone to talkto, alright, sweets? You aren’t alone.

I’m leaving this as genderneutral since you didn’t specify a gender.

TRIGGER WARNING for Su*cidalreader and some dark themes.

It started out with the small things. Sal was adetail-oriented person; he knew the habits of his partner like the back of hishand. He knew how they toyed with the edges of their sleeves when they wereanxious, how their nose scrunched up when they laughed, or how they bit theirlip when they zoned out in class. He also noticed when things began to get bad-how they wouldn’t eat much of their food at lunch (“It’s school food- it’s gross,” they’d deflect the worriedcomments), or how they would stare at a page in their book for nearly fiveminutes, not reading a single word that was written.

It happened on a Friday.

They were supposed to come over for movie night with thegang. When they didn’t show up, he began to worry. “Maybe something came up?”Ashley offered, watching as Sal bounced his left leg nervously.

“No, no. Something’s wrong.” He replied, shaking his head.Abruptly, he stood. “I’m… I’ll be back. I’m gonna go check on them.”

Living in the apartments came in handy.

He wasted no time in getting to the elevator, cursing itsslow speed until it finally dinged,signifying that it had landed on their floor. He slipped out, tapping nervousfingers against his leg as he approached their apartment. “Y/N?” He called,knocking twice. No answer.

The door was unlocked.

He let himself in, closing the door quietly behind him.“Y/N?” He called again, brows furrowing as he received no answer. Maybe they were out- gone to the store? His gazeswept across the apartment, pausing at the light that shone beneath thebathroom door.

His heart skipped a beat.

Slowly, he approached the door, trying the door handle.Sobs. They were crying. They were crying.

He opened the door carefully, trying not to startle them.“Y/N?” He asked once more, head poking in. What he saw had his stomachdropping, his heart stopping in his chest. “Y/N, put the knife down.” Hewhispered, watching as their head jerked up.

“Sal?” They asked, eyes red-rimmed from tears. “What’re you…Why are you here?”

“You didn’t show up. I got worried.” He replied, steppinginto the bathroom and closing the door. They were sitting on the toilet lid;the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom gave a harsh coloring to everything.The knife was sharpened, reflecting his face perfectly. “Can you put the knifedown?”

“Why should I?” They asked, shaking their head. “I’mnothing. You’d be better without me.”

“No, I wouldn’t. You’ve made living so much better.” Salcountered calmly, sitting down across from them on the floor. “You make thenightmares disappear.”

“Larry could do that. Or Ash. Or Todd.” They tried.

“No. You do.”

“Liar.”

“Truth.”

“I’m worthless!” They cried, throwing their hands up, theknife swinging in the air. Sal leaned back against the wall. “I’m just-nothing! I’m nothing!”

“You aren’t nothing, nor are you worthless.” Slowly, he roseto his knees, inching closer. “You’re kind, and sweet, and beautiful, and Ilove the way your nose scrunches up when you laugh, and the way you look whenyou’re concentrated- you get this dip between your eyebrows, and you stick yourtongue out a little.” He rambled, watching as the knife slowly lowered.Carefully, he reached out, fingers sliding around their wrist, inching forwarduntil he was able to grip the knife. “And I love when we’re in my roomtogether, just chilling. And how you baby talk Gizmo. And how you look in theearly mornings. And how you sing along to the radio without caring how yousound.”

New tears welled up in their eyes. He dropped the knifebefore wrapping his arms around their waist, pulling them into a hug. Theirhead rested on his shoulder despite the awkward position; he could feel hisshirt getting wet. But he didn’t let go. He held on, and let them cry.

“You know,” Sal began softly, “I know how you feel. And Iknow how dark it seems right now. But you’re not nothing, or worthless. You’re worth so much- a million dollars.Priceless. A rare gem that hasn’t yet been discovered. You aren’t alone, Y/N. You can talk to me about thedark thoughts. I know how they are. Please…” He pulled back, reaching up towipe away the tears from their cheeks. “Please, talk to me. Or your parents.Or… Or Ash. Or Larry. Talk to us. We’re here for you.”

They hiccupped, wiping at their eyes. “’m sorry,” theymumbled.

“Oh, Y/N,” Sal whispered, tugging them back into a newembrace. “You have nothing to apologize for. You’re human. And you have so manyemotions and they can be overwhelming. And that’s okay. You’re gonna be okay. I’ve got you. And I’m not letting go.”

If you or a loved one are struggling, please know that you are not alone. There is help. 1-800-273-8255 is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Please, call them if you need to talk to someone. You are not alone. Your life is worth so much. 

[meanandscary]

21 Things About Me and 21 (or so) People Tagged

I was tagged by @reddieandgoodnight and tbh i was really anxious and feeling gross rn so this is cute and distracting. thank you!

Nicknames: cumrag idfk (sorry im not in a good mood with myself atm)

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

Hogwarts House: I’ve been told I’m Slytherin but I’ve literally never read or watched much of Harry Potter and tbh I hear Slytherin’s are smart and cunning and I’m a fucking idiot who can’t do anything so maybe NOT! you tell me fam

Last Thing I Googled: somers commons opticians (i need more contacts)

Favorite Music: currently i’m really into like anything Milky Chance, Ari’s “Sweetener”album again fsr, Demi Lovato, this band called SWMRS and Foster The People

Song Stuck in My Head: “ME” by Taylor Swift but also “Goodnight n Go” by Ari has been stuck in my head for like a week

What I Follow: I’m mainly here for Reddie bc they fill the void in my heart, but also Shawn Mendes, pretty pop stars, gay content and any other pretty pink aesthetic stuff I may find. 

Followers: lolllll like 10?

Do I get asks?: nope

Amount of Sleep: typically about 4-5 hours unless i over sleep

Lucky Number(s): idk but 8 and 14 are my favorites

What I’m Wearing: A sweaty grey t shirt and grey sweatpants

Dream Job: writer/director, comedian or a drummer in a band 

Dream Trip: tbh i think i’d like to go music festival hopping one day, this includes Coachella but also going to sketchy dive bars in the smaller towns of England and seeing cool indie bands and maybe sucking their dicks i dunno.but also i really wanna go to France 

Favorite Food: SPAGHETTI TACOS

Instruments: drums

Favorite Song(s): “Of Moons, Birds and Monsters” by MGMT, “Cocoon” by Milky Chance those are like my all time favorites but then my current at the moment favorite is “Ego” by Milky Chance and “The Bottom” by Michelle

Favorite Sound(s): stirring spaghetti

Random Fact: i have the same birthday as Jake Paul

Aesthetic: this is something i struggle with and at this point it’s toxic for me to even think about. i’m constantly changing and that’s apart of who i am. 

Summer or Winter: Winter

im bad at tagging people:

@blushinstanley @kasbprak @eddiecare @wheezyeds @bylerhearts @stainuris @disease-life @howdyhanscom @iwishiwereafairy

[finsterhund]

This con is big but not too nice.

I like the accessible washroom of the building

I like how spaced the artist tables are. But geez.

Artists are upset about the crappy wooden tables, people are talking about the artists who got banned for complaining about getting scammed out of their second table.

The artists here are great though. I wish the con cared more about them. Lots of people I know here. Many I already commissioned. I'm not going to get a second commission from someone if I haven't scanned and uploaded the one I got from them previously. Doesn't seem right.

I commissioned an artist who it was their first con, and I have an artist I want to commission online later.

I had to pay extra money for the sky train to refill my card. Would have been nice if the one lording it over us about having a car would actually have helped us today with said car but I think maybe we need to give those poor cyclists a break (okay, maybe I'm being a bit too petty with this now)

The pain medicine keeps me feeling okay. I love cosplaying as Andy again. Maybe in the winter months I'll get new converse so they're not hurting my legs and back. I need them up one size that's a big reason why cosplaying as Andy hurts.

I wish I wasn't so hot I hate sweating. I wish I was healthy and that I could finally finish my cosplay. Someday. I finally get to see a specialist soon. Hoping that puts me on the road to finally having normalcy and a body that at least tries to work properly.

My friend reminded me that we first made my cosplay when I was still ten pounds underweight so the fact that my shorts are tighter on me than usual shouldn't be too unexpected. My back flaring up definitely contributes to it too. I think a big chunk of me thinking I'm an ugly lump is not because of things like diet and more just my body being the unfortunate way it is. Thanks to bad genetics and scar tissue I'm bottom-heavy and no amount of fixing my diet is going to change that. I'm the Danny Devito of Andys. But admittedly the bad situation of July likely made it more noticable. I hate being a thicc boy. I meme about being the designated "fat kid who dies first" but I'm actually sensitive about it.

For how expensive it is to buy a single pass and a falling apart table here, this con has no internet for artists. But that's consistent. Was that way the last few years too. Funny how the cons that cost less and come with the right number of badges and a clean table also have free internet for the artist alley.

To be honest as much as I love all the artists and attendees here and being more likely to be recognized as Andy I really do not like this con.

The art of Andy I got from the first convention attendee artist is very cute. Crisp black and white inks so it'll scan well and I can't wait to share. But no internet!

There's an artist who does custom buttons but they're unlike any buttons I've ever seen. They are wrapped in an acrylic casing instead of punched around a metal piece. I want to get an Andy button from them. That reminds me I haven't scanned any of my custom Andy buttons.

Someone offered the take a photo of me against a banner but I didn't feel good enough. I probably should have taken them up on the offer but I just felt yuck.

The only video game sellers did not have PS1 games which actually angered me lmao.

Sales aren't good I think.

I'm sweating real bad. So glad I got a bath last night and brought my deodorant. Good god. Where's the AC? It's days like these I wish Andy ran around the Darkland barefoot so I could get out of wearing socks. I expell so much heat through my feet and hands I don't want to eat my chocolate snacks I brought for fear they will melt all over my fingers.

I went outside to bring my friend back a coffee (I can do this all by myself because of how close it is hurray!) But as soon as I went back in I started to sweat again.

I found a friend lined up in front of the ATM. We talked. It was nice to see them again. I found another friend elsewhere and also the first friend came around later. Was fun.

WHY DOES NO ONE KNOW HOW TO USE DEODERANT? I WANT TO DIE. I have had to walk behind people who smell like absolute death and it's made me feel really gross. Here I am concerned about a little sweat and there's people who you'd think are UNDEAD because of how the scent of ?????? trails behind them for like ten feet. You can smell when they pass behind you. I want to throw up.

I got some more art. The Andy button I was interested in, found someone else to commission something digital. The Andy button is AMAZING. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. it's hard to clip it closed but it's so cool and it opens so I can scan the art inside.

I got stickers from my friends I wanted to get, and a secret gift for Fishy made by my friend Sam. I intend to make a care box (is that the word?) cuz I know your birthday is coming up this month.

My stickers already got scuffed on my new folder so I'm sad. I hate being a bumbler who bumps things.

There was an artist who drew dogs but I couldn't find them again :(

I think I made a new friend. He is super cool and does panels at vancoufur. His fursona also wears a bandanna.

I feel a lot better about pain medicine. My friend says I could be able to take it every day and I just need to be careful not to take too much. I know people like me run the risk of becoming immune to them and having a sick liver but he says as long as I don't take too many it's fine.

Is this why I'm so miserable all the damn time!?

Legit what if that's the problem?

So I'm feeling pretty good about that. You guys might see a brand new Finsterhund. I'm so excited to have energy and feel comfy again. I was raised with fear mongering of "only using pain medicine when it was worse than usual. Because it'd kill you." But all that is untrue and I've been suffering needlessly this whole time.

So yeah. Now I'm going to start taking them bi daily. As well as the ones to help me sleep.

Genuinely feeling good about this. Andy cosplaying! Pain relief! It's all here! Things finally looking up for lil ol me.

I'm budgeting this con better too. Half of that is because I'm getting lost and can't find artists i wanted to commission again but that's a side effect of my worsening memory. I want to get a small ocarana but I might not be able to afford it by the end. It'd be nice to play Andy's Mission on. That way it won't annoy my friend like a kazoo would. Even though he said my kazoo is fine and he wouldn't have given it to me if it wasn't.

There's more artists I wish I could commission but I'm trying to be careful.

I was very hungry and they had hotdog rollers right outside the con and I really wanted one and they were SIX DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS. That's awful. But I got one because I was so hungry. It tasted good at least.

There's an hour and a half left of the day. I don't know what we will do after. I don't want to socialize except with my friends and if I go to bed early I'll be up at 4AM again.

There's now a little under an hour left and I'm tired. Wanting to go back to the hotel room and relax. I'm disappointed in myself for buying the expensive hotdog.

Whisky has been shedding since I brushed him and part of me is all AAAAAAAAAA but the other part is all "this would definitely have been canon."

My friend left his table under my care for the last twenty minutes of the day and I'm kinda anxious. I'm scared that ex roommate "took revenge" on my stuff back at the hotel room. He's never done stuff like that before, but he has threatened to. I also have that sense of emptyness inside that I get sometimes. The one where you just feel bad, no reason to, just emotionally hurt.

[sl-c]

Can u do a thoughts things pls I adore them x

{Tuesday 19/3/19 // 11:30am}

don’t feel as gross as I did last week, but still have a little anxiety nausea 

so happy I went in the ocean last night, I’m definitely going to prioritise that more

can’t believe I’m going to start moving again by the end of this week. I’m actually getting pretty anxious about it. What if it doesn’t work out & I have to move out again eep

I’m so overly caring but I hope one day I find the right people in my life who can match that

I think I’m going to buy myself some more makeup today

omg need to buy more glasses again ffs; why do I have to be so damn blind.

when does sleeping alone get easier. I really hope it’s just my apartment & once I have my old bed back I’ll sleep like a baby; I’ll want him to come to the old bed straight away rip

damn I need to go out

kind of want to get a personal trainer

I really need to find a cardio I’m enthusiastic about, I’m really struggling atm

it’s really hitting me that I’m going to miss living in the Eastern suburbs so much but maybe I’ll just spend more money on Ubers over there haha how knows

sort of scared to figure out how much it costs me to actually work in this management role because it’s over $100 a week easy & is that something I should actually be taking into serious consideration about the job 

man I love organising things

did my first filming for YouTube yesterday & I’m really scared I’m going to look at the footage & just think I’m a gross fat fuck 

really looking forward to getting back to the bar actually; hahah I’m actually starting to love having all these different jobs like there’s even part of me that wants to take on more who am I

xx