#really he misses her a lot and still denies that he could’ve potentially loved her

[pure-penguin-gold]

She’s going to rip his heart out one day.

(Ok technically these drawings don’t exist together (ones just a cute skilene doodle, the other for the traitor Marlene au))

@nightydraws hope you like :)))

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way: Brotherhood

Joel and Tommy

Told in third person.

Part of The Wrong Way series, a bonus chapter I dedicate to @the-fox-den <3 we were chatting about joel and tommy and i expressed regret i never went into their relationship more, and they said 'you still can!'

Summary: Told in two parts. First is a night on the porch at a none descript time between Joel killing Nick and Tommy leaving, and then at 7 months into Little One's pregnancy, Tommy and Joel think about their relationship as brothers, and how Sarah death and Little One's emergence in their lives have shifted dynamics.

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

Usual warnings apply, but add in alcohol consumption.

********************

Tommy sat on the porch in the dim light of the lamp, barely lit by their shitty generator but getting the job done. A cup of moonshine in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and the pack of cigs and moonshine jar at his side. Tommy was glad he had learned how to make it in high school, alcohol was hard to come by these days. Generally, Tommy preferred to be out here when Joel was with the girl; they were loud… but he didn’t want to be far, in case she called for him.

It wasn’t that he was jealous, no, that’s not it at all. He thinks. But when Tommy hears him moaning his name and screaming when she comes, he can’t help but think back to the time they were together. It was awful, really. The poor girl was terrified, shaking, and Tommy wanted to make it easier, make her feel good at least but she refused him. That was her wish of course, but the ego in him… he knew he could make her scream his name louder than Joel’s. He just knew it. Because Tommy cared about her. Not in the way Joel pretended to, not in Joel’s possessive obsession, but Tommy cared for the girl as a person. Joel had certainly been putting on a good show, maybe even fooling himself in the process with the way he brings her little treats and tells her little pieces here and there, the young, naive little girl was falling for it. Between the sex, the gifts, the way Joel bathed her and cared for her after… his violent outbursts were beginning to be lost on her, Tommy knew. She was to fucking young for all of this. 

Tommy tried his best, he really did, and he liked to think he was a friend to her. He made her laugh, he made her smile, he held her as she cried over her brother or missing her friend… he could tell her that her brother was alive… but she was so compliant, things were going well now… he couldn’t take it if she tried to run. She’d simply get caught, and brought back to be tortured and maybe even killed, because Joel didn’t love her for her. Joel's sick version of love was twisted and obsessive and treated her like a possession. When Nick raped her, Joel brutally killed him, a long and slow death, exactly what the fucker deserved. Tommy could’ve killed him, but they needed to send a message to everyone else that the girl was absolutely off limits, and the punishment was worse than death. But Joel didn’t kill him out of justice, it wasn’t for being a rapist. Tommy abhorred that, but he couldn’t deny that Joel and most of the men he worked with were too, save for a handful, like Jack or Logan. Joel didn’t kill him for that. Joel didn’t eve kill him for raping her, neccesarily. Nick was tortured to death because he touched a possession of Joel’s. That’s what mattered. Not that she was a human, but that she was his.

Tommy felt like Joel looked at him that way, sometimes. When Sarah died, his entire life motivations shifted. He was lost for a while, even trying to kill himself… and Tommy was the one left to bandage his head. Tomy wasn’t as kind as he could’ve been, he was selfish, he knew, but as he patched up his big brother, Tommy really railed into him.

‘How could you do this? How could you try to leave me?’

‘I lost Sarah too Joel, I can’t lose you and her!’

‘You were just going to leave me? Alone? I’d have no one, Joel, no one everything we knew is gone!’

Since then, Joel’s focus shifted to keeping Tommy alive. Tommy wasn’t entirely sure how much of Joel was left in there but save for that baseline, that primal instinct to protect blood. That’s how the raiding began. Joel was ruthless, and Tommy, although certainly wouldn’t be described as ruthless, got the job done. He didn’t kill women unless in self defense, and absolutely no children, that was his own rule. Joel wouldn’t kill kids. He’d orphan them, though. Every now and then, however, Joel might come across a family with a little girl. Maybe she had Sarah’s skin or her eyes, maybe so little as curly brown hair… But Tommy could see Joel hesitate. He wouldn’t leave them orphaned or absolutely helpless. 

Joel was still in there, somewhere…

The porch door opened, Joel tentatively walking outside. Joel always looked more human, more real, more vulnerable when it was just them together. He talked like anormal person, smiled sometimes, even laughed a bit on a good day.

“Hey man, can I join?” He spoke softly, the voice he always had after he was done with her… relaxed. It made Tommy uncomfortable.

“Yeah, grab a cup, i got some moonshine made up, tried making peach flavored, tell me how it is.”

Joel popped back inside to grab a cup and in a few moments, he was drinking the homemade alcohol and puffing on a cigarette Tommy gave him.

“You’re getting better at this. Yuh never even tried mak’n ‘em flavored in high school”

Tommy chuckled softly at that. “Yeah, back then it wasn’t for enjoy’n. It was for getting drunk.”

“‘Drunk’ is putt’n it lightly, but fair point.” There was a long, comfortable pause before Joel spoke again. “This is nice. I feel like I never get to see you anymore.”

Suddenly avoidant, Tommy, looked off to the side. “Yeah uh. I suppose you’ve been busy.”

“So are you, it seems” Joel snapped back.

Tommy turned to glare at Joel. “And whose fault is that? I’m not the one that kidnapped her.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Joel rolled his eyes at Tommy. Another pause. “She seems to be doing better now, yeah?”

The softness in Joel’s voice when he talked about her never ceased to amaze Tommy, considering the things he did to her.

He relaxed a bit. “Yeah, she does.” The reply was honest. “Seems happier.”

“Good. Good.”

They sat together on the porch, drinking and smoking before Tommy got up to go to bed, a slight buzz going on. He drank a little more than usual, enjoying Joel’s company, although quiet. That was a thing about family, sometimes comfortable silence just worked when you’ve known each other your whole lives. Plus… Tommy missed his brother. Before he left Joel alone, Tommy turned back, hand on the door handle. 

“I love you, you know that, right?” Tommy looked at Joel, the man who’d spent his life, before and after the outbreak, taking care of him, protecting him, sitting underneath the cloudy moon light. “I know it’s been… things have been different, lately… but it’ll always be you and me, right?”

Joel looked at the floor, dodging Tommy's gaze but smiled gently, nonetheless. “Yeah, you and me. I love you too, Tommy. Don’t get sappy on me now”

*A Several Months Later*

Joel watched in the darkness, waiting for Tommy to appear. He had it on good authority that Tommy was supposed to be patrolling this path tonight; it seemed fucking that cunt Maria didn’t get him out of freezing midnight patrols. 

Tommy’s voice snuck up behind him. “So what, you’re here to kill me 6 months later?”

Casually, Joel turned around to find Tommy pointing his rifle at him. “Put the gun down, Thomas, relax.”

There was no relaxing. “What do you want? You said you’d leave me alone.”

“I said no such thing, actually. Only reason you ain’t dead is because she begged me not to.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “You couldn’t kill me if you wanted to.”

“I did it for her, and for Sarah.” The dark tone of his voice was a warning, a warning not to push on Sarah’s name like he did the last time they spoke… then he was back to casual. “Besides, if you think I couldn’t kill you, what are you so jumpy about?”

“I don’t wanna shoot you.” Tommy confessed. 

“So don’t. I’m not even armed. With a gun, anyway.”

“Bullshit. You ain’t been unarmed since kindergarten.”

“My gun is with my horse, quarter mile up. But right now, it’s just me, you, and several pocket knives, but those are just in case of infected. See, as much as you don’t think I can kill you, I don’t think you can kill me.”

Tommy considers for a moment. “And what’s stopping me from taking you into town, get a good old fashion pose to hang you, ending your reign of fucking terror and freeing the girl?”

“Reign of terror” Joel mumbles, chuckling to himself. “You could. But you won’t”

“Why? Why wouldn’t I? You got Lorenzo up the ready to shoot to kill?”

Joel was still smug, and way too relaxed for his position, but he knew his brother. “No, and even if I did, I don’t think Lorenzo would be much help to me. They’ve grown rather attached to each other.” Joel saw the spark of concern and… what? Jealousy? Something flitted across Tommy’s face. “Relax, Lorenzo’s…” He held out his hand, palm down, and wobbled it, and old fashioned sign for gay. “If you know what I mean. I think he reminds her of her brother, and he had a bunch of sisters, so they seem to have fun. She’s what I wanted to talk to you about, actually.”

The worry was clear and evident on his face now. “What did you do now, Joel? I know she’s pregnant.”

His laughter was one of surprise. “Oh yeah, how’d you hear that? You and Jack still keep up?”

“Word gets around.” Tommy never was a great liar.

“Relax, Tommy, I know Jack swings by. He also knows he’s dead if he uses anything against me. Now, will you put down the gun?”

Hesitantly, Tommy lowered his gun and walked toward Joel. “What do you want? I gotta get on patroll'n.”

“Gimme five minutes.” Joel reaches into his pocket, causing Tommy to raise his gun again and for Joel to mutter Jesus Christ. When Joel pulls out a cigar box, Tommy comes off the defense. “Remember back in the day? Sharing a cigar to celebrate a pregnancy?” The brother had smoked a few after Sarah was born. He hands one to Tommy.

Tentatively, he accepts it, looking worried. “She can’t have given birth already… what is she, 7 months? 8?”

“6. Knocked her up the night you left. And no, she ain’t given birth yet. Had a little scare, but it was braxton-hicks.”

Tommy lit his cigar and took a puff, blowing a ring. “You mean to say you put a baby in her instead of a bullet that night?” Tommy scoffed, shaking his head, a wry smile on his face. “And they say chivalry is dead.”

Joel lit his own cigar, enjoying it despite the clearly old taste. “I know you don’t like how I do things, but I love her, and she loves me.”

Despite his annoyance, hsi anger, Tommy didn’t argue. “Yeah. Yeah okay. You’re a happy little family and she’s trapped with you forever. Great job.”

Joel glared at Tommy. “Hey! Just because mine keeps her mouth shut and is obedient and your bitch got you freezing your ass off inthe middle of the goddamn night don’t mean I trapped her.”

“Can she leave?”

“She doesn’t want to. I know she told you Zach tried to come back-”

“Can she leave, Joel?!”

“No!”

Tommy took a long stride forward, stepping up to Joel in a rare challenge. “Then how can you act like she’s your pretty little wife when she’s still just a kidnapped child, Joel! She should be in college! She should be exploring the world and making friends, drinking cranberry vodka because that’s all she knows how to order! She should be smoking weed for the first time and getting cross faded only to ace a test the next morning-”

“That world doesn’t exist anymore, Tommy!”

“She should be learning, figuring herself out, meeting boy, Joel, BOYS, plural, and her age, not 40 year old men! She shouldn’t be kept locked away as your servant, your sex toy, or your baby machine!”

Joel stepped up to Tommy in one long stride, bringing them face to face. “THEN KILL ME TOMMY, OR TAKE ME TO JACKSON AND HAVE SOMEONE DO IT BECAUSE YOU’RE A FUCKING COWARD! You think I’m so horrible, and the girl is so fucking miserable, DO IT!” Joel grabbed Tommy’s gun, pointing it straight at his chest, with Tommy’s finger on the trigger. They were eye to eye, intense brown swallowed by black pupils, the moon light reflecting off them… But Tommy couldn’t do it. He couldn’t shoot.“That’s what I thought.” Joel shoved him back, and began storming off in the direction of his horse.

“Joel wait!” Tommy called after the older man, and Joel stopped in his tracks, but didn’t turn around. “Just… finish the cigar, please? I’ll stop. I won’t say anything else about her, just, please, one cigar?”

Joel stood still, acting like he was considering, but he was hiding a smirk. He knew exactly how this would go, exactly how Tommy would react… but he also knew that Tommy, at his heart, would always be little Tommy Miller, his baby brother that so desperately wanted Joel to like him. He dropped the smirk and turned around. “Fine. One cigar.‘

One cigar turned to three, and before long the brothers were laughing, sipping on the flask of blackberry moonshine Tommy brought to keep him warm. Joel swore he could see tears forming in Tommy's eyes when Joel told him if they had a son, they would be naming him Caleb Thomas.

When it was time to part, on far more amicable terms this time, they hugged.

“I love you, Tommy. No matter what, you’re my brother, okay?”

Tommy nodded against him. “I know. And I love you too. And if you ever… if you get some intel at where I’m at on a midnight patrol again… Well… I always got moonshine on me if you ever want a taste, okay?”

This time, when Joel smiled, it wasn’t a smirk, it was genuine.

No matter what, Tommy would always be his little brother.

********************

Well guys, does this shift your view of Tommy at all? Seeing as he had the chance to end things for Little One in the woods, and frankly, could've helped her at any point during all this...

Do you think he's a coward? Or is his stuck under Joel and has been manipulated like little one has? Tell me what you think!

Also, i dont wanna be adding a poll bc then i cant edit this and i only like BARELY proofread so I'm sure ill wanna edit later. Anyway.

Comment what you think... is little one having a boy, or a girl?

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy @millerpascal18 @koshkaj-blog

[real-total-drama-takes]

Fans who don’t like Pahkitew deeply exaggerate how “bad” the cast is and are generally overdramatic about the how they feel about the season. Granted there is a good amount of missed potential with some characters and plots (i.e the twins and Scarlett) but the majority of the cast fills the role they have to perfectly well.

Topher’s lack of character interactions is upsetting but I wouldn’t trade his solo arc for it, which was fresh if nothing else and not something that could’ve been done as eloquently as it was with most other characters (he’s also much funnier than people give him credit for).

Ella is more beyond her label than people admit, given her plotline of trying to reconcile with Sugar, which simultaneously made her sympathetic and easy to root for and helped establish Sugar’s role as an antagonist.

Rhodney’s gimmick was actually decently funny, solely because of how melodramatic he’d get over every pseudo-break-up, and even if you don’t find it funny personally you have to admit that he wasn’t on the show for nearly long enough to have a strongly negative impact on the season.

Similarly, for how viscerally negative people act towards Beardo and Leonard, they didn’t really do enough to warrant the hate they receive. Leonard’s two episodes (four counting rr) don’t strongly focus on him enough to make him do anything significantly dislikable and Beardo has a singular episode to his name, which essentially nullifies how poor his concept is. He’s designed to be canon fodder and shouldn’t be held up to the same standard of other characters who the writers actually wanted to give depth.

Sky is somewhat generic of a protagonist, yes, but she was never as staggeringly boring as the designated female protagonist before her (at least in her final season, Zoey was neat if nothing else in roti). She actually has aspirations in having a desire to become an athlete, personal flaws in her competitive nature, and moral ambiguity with how she treated the situation with Dave and Keith, a lot of which are developments and depth even many gen 2 characters didn’t get the luxury of.

Amy and Sammy’s subplot could’ve been expanded on more for the better of the season, I’m not going to deny that. But it still led to sweet interactions between Jasmine and the latter and genuinely shocking elimination, something total drama didn’t have much of due to not trying as hard to nail in the “reality show” aspect since Action.

Sugar works perfectly as villain, even if her presence as one isn’t always felt. It’s clear that the writers didn’t want to take her nearly as seriously as antagonists prior, and it works in a season as inherently goofy as Pahkitew. She feels like an improved version of Scott, sort of like they mixed the best parts of him from both of his seasons and treated him like the dork he always has been instead of trying to make him seem constantly threatening. People tend to over exaggerate the gross-out aspect of her character too, especially since she only had one real episode where she felt like the “diet Owen” Pahkitew haters love to paint her as. Par the aforementioned episode, and she’s actually on the end of funnier characters in the franchise.

Scarlett, again, reeks of missed potential and I’m not going to dance around that. But, even if it was dumb to turn her into a comic book villain that was evil the entire time, her progression of slowly getting closer and closer to the edge because of Max still felt natural and was investing. You’re waiting for the moment Scarlett finally snap, and it’s genuinely tense. Again, the climax was still underwhelming, but the journey to said climax is better than people give it credit for.

Speaking of Max, I admit he isn’t one of the better characters in the franchise, but he isn’t absolutely terrible. He has the occasional funny moment and quotable line. He did overstay his welcome a bit, but it felt deserved if it meant professing Scarlett’s arc.

And finally, Dave is not nearly as irritating as people make him out to be. Sure, he was not enjoyable in the slightest during his elimination episode and the finale, but in every other episode he’s in, he works as a perfectly serviceable straight-man, and without him, the show wouldn’t have the bulk of it’s drama. His relationship with Sky not only fueled some of Sugar’s more antagonistic moments, but was the most developed and elaborate plotline in the entire season, having a good deal of the characters in the season have some sort of interaction with it. Sugar had her aforementioned villainous plans with it, Ella had a one sided crush on Dave that helped fuel Sky coming to terms with her feelings towards him, Leonard and Beardo’s batshit insanity drive Dave closer to Sky due to her just being more normal than them, Jasmine had her talk with Sky the episode after the team swap and Shawn was a mutual friend of both who helped Dave through Sky’s rejection. It’s not nearly the same scale as the World Tour love triangle, but that’s to be expected with a 13 episode season. It’s as good as a centerpiece for the drama as it could’ve been.

I don’t believe Pahkitew’s cast is inherently bastardized and the season definitely isn’t as bad as so many people in the fandom say it is. If it had the full 26 episode luxury, then it could’ve gone down as a borderline classic in the fandom to the same level of Island and World Tour. I don’t feel like it’s objectively nearly as good as either of those seasons are,

Also, to the people who criticize the tdpi cast with the argument of “these characters aren’t even teen stereotypes!” … yeah no shit? The contemporary teens that inspired the gen 1 and revenge cast aren’t going to be different enough form the teens at the time of Pahkitew’s creation, so the writers essentially had to change their character design philosophy or they’d spew out bits and pieces of what we had from seasons prior and struggle to find a way to make them relatable or stand out. I’d rather have them make the cast as campy as they did then ever have what are basically lesser versions of previous characters.

(Also I didn’t write a paragraph for Shawn or Jasmine cos people who don’t like Pahkitew rarely hate them in particular anyways lol)

.

[spookysmujer]

Maraschino pt.2, O. Diaz

Summary: After the rejection from Oscar, things seems to take you on a roller coaster ride. 

warnings: angst, f e e l s, theTEAbeenSPILLED ☕️ daddy issues

word count: 3.5K

a/n: Here is the highly requested part 2 of Maraschino! I had fun writing this though if it is trash it’s because I wanted to hurry and get it out for y’all since I been getting msgs. heh. But Ray? Whew chile, the ghetto! Part 3? Please enjoy and don’t forget: follow the blog, heart/comment/reblog the content as well as turn on the notifs! (Y/S/N: your sister’s name)

(gif belongs to @thesewickedhands​ ✨)

 “Have a wonderful day!”

God, why is the person yelling? You smile weakly and squeeze your eyes nearly shut as the sun is blazing down on you while you say your thanks and exit the uber. The throbbing of your head and the loud lawnmower from one of your neighbors has you internally cursing.

How did you end up like this? Granted this was the plan last night to go out and have a good time, you certainly did not expect to be doing such a thing. You never let yourself get to this point before. But you also never got denied like you did with Spooky last night. A shiver goes through your body as you think of him. You won’t let him infiltrate your mind no more.

“Y/N!” Your sister’s voice sounds frantically as you round the corner of the house.

Well there goes your plan to sneak in through your window to pretend you were in your room all along. She wraps your arms around you, gluing herself to your body causing you to stumble back a bit. “You are a dead woman walking!” She whispers to you as you arch an eyebrow at her. 

As confused as you were, José appears from around the corner taking long strides towards you. His face sports no emotion of missing you but a lot of anger. It causes you to automatically back up the closer his approaches you. Your sister has since removed herself from you as your brother is now in your face.

You blink as you peer up at him, “Where the fuck have you been, hermana? You know how much shit you are in, hm? I get a call from Y/S/N saying you aren’t home. I assure her you would be and when she calls me at 6 in the morning telling me that you still aren’t in? You left a note?”

“José! Calmate, I went out with a friend. And I spent the night. What’s the big deal about that?” You briefly explain yourself. He laughs for a moment before grabbing you by your upper arm and pulling you towards your sister. Now it’s her turn to start backing up, “Ven aqui, her! That’s the big deal. When I ask you to be the sister you need to be, I don’t mean when you feel like it. You know the Santos have been getting into heavy shit lately. I need you here when I’m not!” 

The tension is thick as you pull your arm from his hold and push him, “But when you wanna go and do whatever it’s okay? When you wanna hitch a ride with Spooky to Sin City with dirty ass hynas last week, it’s all good. Business trip, huh? Don’t come for me when you are far from perfect!” 

The two of you are both very stubborn with your brother usually being calm and collected while you’re more expressive with your feelings. Family is important to him especially considering it’s just the three of you. Jose scoffs as you stomp away from him and your now crying sister. 

Oscar suddenly appears in front of you as round the corner and collides with his body. He reaches out to grasp you before you can stumble back, the feelings hitting you all at once, “What are you doing here?” You swallow thickly.

He licks his bottom lip as his eyes rake over your body. Still in your dress from last night, hair unruly and make-up smudged. Anyone can spot a ‘walk of shame’ when they see one. He laughs internally thinking of how you wasted no time after last night’s rejection.

“I offered to drive him when little hermanita called up again worried you weren’t home yet. Seems we know why now.” A small grin painted across his lips, you squint your eyebrows at his words as you hear your brother approaching the two of you. You step back before Spooky migrates his eyes to behind you, “We got business, everything good here?”

José nods and steps beside you, “Don’t be leaving.”

The two guys leave as you stand there a bit dumbfounded. Y/S/N appears next to you and grabs your hand. She apologizes for you getting into trouble with José. You want to yell at her for starting unnecessary drama. But she explains she didn’t want your brother to potentially find out about your little sneaky link with Spooky.

“Well, he and I ended that shit so nothing to worry about. I went out and got wasted. I am done with these guys. No más!” Though even sounding like fake news to yourself, you go and wash off last night’s memories. 

As the day had gone by, you skimmed through your daily journal of all the entries you wrote about Oscar ‘Spooky’ Diaz, ripping them out. All 6 pages. You roll your eyes at your thoughts about him, some sappy and some nasty. How did you believe a man who runs a street gang, that is as mean mugging as Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street, would be into you the way you are him?

It didn’t matter the answer now. Good riddance of him! That’s when the sound of your window opening pulls you from the wandering thoughts. You stand up quickly, reaching for a bat that’s besides your bed. “Get the fuck out!”

“Calmate! It’s me, Oscar.”

You clutch your chest, doubling over to catch your breath. “What is wrong with you? Ever think of flying a pebble at the window or calling first?” You say as he climbs in, adjusting his flannel before closing the window then your room door. You watch him as he starts to look around your room. Though there’s a part of you that wants him out, you haven’t made any advances to get him out.

He sits on your bed and finally looks at you, “Abajo.”

Uncompliant, you cross your arms and shift your weight to make it known you are fine standing there. He smirks and looks away before locking eyes with you. “You don’t think I like you too? You think I fucked with you for this long cause it was just convenient? Girls everywhere around my place but I was only fucking you. Why do you think that?”

“Is this supposed to be your sweet confession that makes me go all heart eyes? You're gonna apologize and I’m supposed to forgive you and then we give us a try and realize all our worries were nothing but fear that our anxiety instilled in our heads? Because that’s not how it’s gonna go.” You say as he gives you a semi-disgusted look.

You chuckle softly and watch him intently.

Oscar analyzes you closely. It’s a front, no doubt he thinks. He doesn’t deny the thought that you are a thick-skinned woman. He knows you have a superior mind and a mouth to go with it but he knows there is no way that you could’ve gotten over him that quick. Though judging by your appearance earlier in the day, you definitely tried.

You laugh a little more as you step in front of him and lean over to get your vision in line with his. “You made it clear to me and now I’m making it clear. Nothing you say will convince me that you give a rat’s ass about me. If you really did? There would be no sneaky link shit. You wouldn’t have a problem with people knowing about me, or my brother knowing but it is a problem so get out.”

This ticks Ocscar off a bit. He stands which makes you straighten up as he gets in your face, stepping towards you. You are stepping back slowly as he creeps more, “You think you can handle this lifestyle? The constant threats, the territories? You can’t. When it comes to this kind of life, something like love can be the bane of your existence. So we don’t get into it. We don’t get involved because the people we fall for end up dead.”

You’re pressed with your back against the wall and your chests against each other. Oscar’s eyebrows are connected and he’s staring at your agape mouth. His breath is fanning against your lips, emotions hitting you all at once. “I-I slept with someone last night. Got it good too.”

The jealous tactic seems to fail immediately as Oscar laughs. And for some reason the look of amusement on his face seems to be familiar for a reason you can’t seem to figure out.

“Sleeping around is simple, falling for someone is something else entirely. I’m not saying that we jump into something. But at least you know now it’s not just one-sided.” He steps out of your room. You follow and watch him walk down the hall as Y/S/N stands there. She is stunned seeing Oscar nonchalantly trek through the house.

You don’t know what to say. As you look at your little sister, you sigh in defeat trying to explain this one. Instead you go back into your room and shut your door. You got what you wanted, right? But you still feel like something is missing. 

The week had slowly crept on.

A few shifts at the bodega, classes at the community college and life at home. Jose had basically converted you back to your teenage ways. Making sure you were doing your part in parenting your little sister. Friday night Y/S/N wanted to have Dwayne’s BBQ for dinner and since your social life is drier than your skin, you agree. 

The thought of a  BBQ bacon cheeseburger lifts your mood which has been dragging throughout the week. Your sister happily skips into the restaurant as you trail behind slowly, when you enter you look for her and see she chatting up with Dwayne. 

“Y/N!” José calls out and your vision unfocuses from them onto your brother and pile of Santos in a booth. They all look your way including Oscar. You exhale a deep breath through your nose as you put on a fake smile and wave before stepping up to place an order. 

 Your brother approaches you as you look past him to the booth of Santos, “Didn’t know you guys would be here.” He sets down a $20 bill on the counter when the cashier tells you the total. “Foos gotta eat too.” José starts talking to you about something but your focus falls back on Spooky again. You watch as he stands and makes his way towards you. A small panic sets in your chest but fades away as he ends up exiting the BBQ joint. 

Unknowingly to yourself, your watch as he walks to his car. He leans against it and pulls out a cigarette, no matter how hard you try to avert your eyes from him, you can’t. All week you had been doing fine. Even with the little things reminding you of him, even with the memories that have been seeped into your bed. You didn’t dwell too much on thinking of him until you see him now. 

“Talk to him.” 

It’s just like the movies where the car tires come to a screeching halt and there’s the obnoxious crashing sound. You move your eyes to your brother’s. Did he just say what you think he said? “Talk to him? Spooky, what for? Why would I need to talk to him?”

Jose chuckles, “Hermana, I had my suspicions about you two. Then he told me bout it, he acts like it doesn’t bother him much but it does so go talk to him. Yeah, I’m not so thrilled that he’s messing around with my baby sister. I know how he is but I know he wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you so I’m cool with it. So go talk to him, figure that shit out because I’m getting over you moping around the house.”

You push him away as you look back to the red impala.  After a moment of contemplating it, you decide to head out and approach Oscar, he had his eyes on you since he settled by his car. You lean on it besides him and cross your arms, “You told my brother?”

He smirks and shrugs his shoulders. You try your best to keep the smug look off your face. He holds out the cigarette, you take it and inhale. Coughing a bit as the smoke burns your throat a little. You hand it back and sigh, turning to look at him.

“I like you, you like me. I’m not saying we jump into something… but why not?” You question as he exhales some smoke, you lock your eyes into his, “You ain’t cut for this lifestyle, you would be a liability. Plus your brother in my line of work? That makes him vulnerable as well. It woul--”

You groan loudly which quiets him mid-rant, “Drugs, alcohol and money do all the same things to him too. You see how he is when he gets wasted. There are so many things that make you all vulnerable. If he can make it work with the hyna he’s with, then you can make it work with me. Plus I know this lifestyle more than you think. I know when and where to be and not to be. I know who to know and who not to know. I know things! So don’t act all big bad Spooky to me.”

Now standing directly in front of him and he’s peering down at you. He dips his face lowers and looks at your lips as you look at his. In no time your lips are connected. Oscar slides his hands over your waist, gripping it and pushing you flush against him. You bring your hands to cup his face, letting your tongue slip into his mouth. A full on make-out session breaks out.

As if you didn’t dream of something like this happening you smile into the kiss, pulling away, “You get into this with me, it’s not gonna be glitter and gold. This shit is tough, I can’t be worrying about the things I already do plus you.” You nod and kiss him again, wringing your arms around his neck, he hugs you and feels calm for the first time in a while.

So you enjoy the night more than you thought you would be. With your siblings and the Santos at Dwayne’s. After a night of chatting, Oscar asks you to come back to his place. And well since it isn’t your first rodeo, you agree and send Y/S/N home with José. 

You don’t keep your hands off him while heading back to his place, you are pressed against him and kissing his neck, he is loving every moment of it. The both of you get out to head into the house but the mood is killed when you walk in to find Cesar and his friends on the couch who get frightened due to the scary movie playing on the TV.

Oscar cursing under his breath, “Can’t you watch movies at some else’s house?” You elbow him as he rolls his eyes. But Cesar didn’t want to start anything with his older brother so he asks Jamal if they can continue watching at his house. Soon after the house is empty and quiet again. The two of you settle on the couch, you straddling him and pulling your top off.

“Yo! There’s someone posted up outside!” Cesar suddenly bursts through the door which causes Oscar to push you off him and reach for his gun. He tells the younger Diaz, his friends and you to stay put as he checks out the fool that runs up on the Santo trap house. You scramble to put your shirt back on and curse when Cesar trails after his brother. You follow in pursuit, trying to tell Cesar that Oscar said to stay inside. “Who is that?” 

“Ray?” You say out loud though you thought you were just thinking it.

Oscar turns to you when you say the name of none other than his estranged father. You look to both Ray and Oscar, looking at the two men and making the connection. You feel the color get sucked out of your face, oh fuck.

“You know him, who is he?” Cesar asks you and he looks at Oscar. The Santo leader has his eyes on you and is still confused as to how the hell you know his father. “He’s our father.” Oscar says, still looking at you.

The confirmation makes you want to be obliterated right in your very spot. This can’t be happening! Is it? You try to speak but nothing comes out of your mouth. You finally look to Ray who has a small smirk on his face and that’s why that look Oscar had on his face that day seemed so familiar. You saw it that night you went out of town to have a good time. 

“Hola de nuevo, pequeña coyote.” Ray says looking at you. 

You grimace as Oscar connects the dots himself. The amount of heat that settles into your face along with the gasps from Cesar’s friends don’t make it any easier to bear.

“Wait Oscar, wait!” He is stepping towards his father, ready to charge. “I didn’t know he was your dad! Listen to me, please!” You step forward quickly and pull his arm back, he yanks it out of your grasp quickly as you plead for him to listen to you.

Oscar begins to snap at you, “Him? This is who you slept with and you want me to listen to explain? Huh?!” The anger booms in his voice as he is mere inches from your face. Cesar appears next to you trying to get between the two of you. You didn’t think Oscar could ever get so mad. And you have seen the Santo leader in moments of rage before. 

“Mijo, listen..” 

Ray’s voice sounds from behind Oscar now. He turns and wastes no time in welcoming him with a right hook. His father stumbles back as you gasp along with the sounds from the teens. “Oscar!”

You take the initiative to stand between the two of them, holding out a hand against Oscar’s chest as he is heaving and exuding anger. Ray is mending to his jaw as he stands up. You notice the lights of the neighbor had turned on and people were beginning to pile outside of their homes to see all the commotion.

“Oscar just stop and listen to me for one fucking second! No, I did not sleep with Ray. We did get together that night, yes but we didn’t do anything that involves other body parts. I started going off about you with him, I vented and we spent the night drinking. I got too wasted and he offered to let me spend the night in his motel room. Nothing happened!” You release in one breath. 

Everyone looks at you, unable to make sense of the situation. 

“That’s why I came, when she mentioned things about you, I had to come see for myself if what niña said is true. That you’re running the Santos.” The two men stare at each other as you stand in the middle. Your heart is racing. 

Oscar doesn’t say anything as he looks back and forth between his father and you. When you step towards him and reach out to grab his hand, he raises his hand up in defense and steps back. You can see the glint of hurt in his eyes as he backs away from you. Your eyes pleading for him to try to understand everything.

You trail behind a fuming Oscar into his house, you are nearly jogging when you catch up with him. But he steps into his room and slams the door in your face. You step back and sigh. “Please talk to me…Oscar. Nothing happened, you have to believe me.” 

He doesn’t respond as you rest your head on his door. You hold your hands on the door silently cursing yourself. What could you say that made the situation sound better? How could you make it look like it really was nothing even with Ray right there?

A few moments have passed by when the door opens, a still very upset Oscar stands there as he flies forwards a bunch of crumbled paper at you. You watch as the papers fall to your feet and he slams the door in your face again. No context of nothing. 

When you pick up the papers, it’s drawings of you. Portraits sketched out from a ballpoint pen. Some dated as far back as a month ago to as recent as a few days ago. Oscar drew you. He did so multiple times and in such craft it takes your breath away. 

You feel the tears begin to well in your eyes. The pain that you have caused him. How do you fix this?

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[justcourttee]

An Akuma shows up at school for a specific target in Mind: Bustier. Revealing the Akuma was an former student and wants retribution for her ‘teachings’ of being a ‘good example’ made a negative impact on their mental and emotional health. Mainly Bustier facing the consequences of her actions, and revealed a lot more have suffered. No class bashing, or salt. Except doing to Lila and Bustier

I like this prompt so much and I couldn’t wait to finish it! Hope it was close to what you imagined! 

Karma

Marinette paced the hallway outside the door of her classroom waiting for Mme. Bustier to meet her there for what she could guess would be yet another lecture on being the bigger person. It was so frustrating.

The sound of the door opening caught her attention as her teacher finally arrived, a small frown gracing her face.

“Now Marinette, I don’t understand what is going on between you and Lila, but you need to be the bigger person here like you always are. You know she has a disease and your outburst in class was unacceptable.”

“But Mme. Bustier! She was spreading lies about my friend! Adrien isn’t here to rebuttal for himself but I know he wouldn’t appreciate her lying about their relationship.”

Marinette crossed her arms in deviance only earning a dissatisfied headshake from her favorite teacher. Her heart sank a little at the idea that Bustier really meant for her to apologize to Lila yet again.

She didn’t even bother waiting for her response as she slunk back towards the door, already giving in before the argument could even begin. Her hand reached toward the handle only pausing when she heard a soft gasp from behind.

Marinette turned just in time to see a woman enveloped in the purple smoke that could only point to one thing. An akumanization.

“Mme. Bustier, let’s go.”

Marinette used all of her strength to pull her teacher out of her daze as they made a beeline down the stairs, away from the emerging victim. Without thinking, Marinette brought her phone to her ear, the number already dialing before her foot hit the ground level.

“Hey girl, what happened with Bustier? Are-”

“No time Alya, akuma outside the classroom, ring the alarm and lock the door, Bustier and I are going to be fine but help everyone else.”

She didn’t wait for a response as she slipped her phone back into her pocket. They were mere steps away from the lockers when a figure dropped in front of Marinette causing her to skid to a stop.

“Caline Bustier, I see you are still the same. Coddling the bully’s feelings and dropping all responsibility for their actions on innocent students.”

Bustier tried to shake her head, deny the accusation but she couldn't find her voice. The woman cocked her head at Marinette as if trying to decide if she was worth the trouble to get to the teacher. Deciding she wasn’t, she lowered what looked like a ribbon extending from her sleeve.

“Little girl, please go, be free. I will take care of Bustier, make sure she never hurts you again.”

Marinette shook her in disbelief as she stared at the woman with curiosity.

“She’s never laid a hand on me, I think you have the wrong person.”

Hearing Marinette’s voice snapped Bustier out of her trance as she attempted to push Marinette behind her and out of danger. The akuma’s face softened as she reached out to gingerly cup Marinette’s cheek.

“I too used to think she was an angel too. Someone sent down to protect me from everything bad in this world, but she’s not. She manipulates you into thinking it’s your fault that the Lila’s of this world exists.”

“That’s not true, Stephanie, please. Leave Marinette out of this. You had so much potential, I didn’t want to see you waste it by stooping down to their level-”

“Hush witch, it’s Professor Karma now.” Her voice was cold sending a shiver down Marinette’s back as she turned her attention back to the girl. “It makes you disappointed in not only her but yourself too. You begin to think you’re to blame for everyone incapable of change. Being the bigger person takes a mental toll, let me help ease that for you.”

Marinette hadn’t noticed the relief that had seeped through her body originating from the woman’s touch. It was so soothing, she just wanted to give in and let her take all the weight from her shoulders.

“Stay away from her!”

Marinette’s eyes flew back open as Chat Noir landed a blow onto the akuma in front of her.

“You ruined the process! You dumb hero! I could’ve taken all her pain away for her, but you just had to step in didn’t you.”

Chat Noir took a defensive stance between the akuma and Marinette.

“That’s not what it looked like to me. You were lulling her to sleep, her body was turning blue!”

Marinette looked down at her hands as the blue faded back to her normal pale color. Gods, what had she almost done? The fight needs Ladybug and she was about to give in to the akuma for what? A little bit of relief?

She sidestepped as the akuma slung its ribbons trying to bring Chat Noir down. Marinette wasn’t sure how much longer he could last by himself, but she couldn't leave Bustier by herself. She reached forward gripping Bustier's hand, startling the woman.

“C’mon Mme Bustier, we need to get you out of here.”

The teacher still seemed in a daze, a longing look in her eyes directed toward the akuma.

“Go Marinette, hide, please. I need to be here for Stephanie.”

Marinette wanted to protest, but this was her chance. She had a better chance of helping her as Ladybug than as Marinette. Without looking backward, she made a run for the exit, trying to ignore Chat’s taunting as he continued playing his dangerous game of cat and mouse.

“Tikki, was the akuma right? Am I really taking a toll from just Mme. Bustier’s words?”

“Marinette, you’ve always done so much for your class and for that woman. Eventually, it was going to catch up with you, especially when everyone expects nothing less than perfect. Nobody’s perfect, not even us Gods.”

Marinette called on her transformation, Tikki’s words ringing in her head. She knew Mme. Bustier only meant well, she wanted to push Marinette to be her very best on all levels including her personal life, but Tikki was right, she expected perfect Marinette everyday and she was never allowed to slip up even for a moment.

It was exhausting.

Marinette charged into the scene just in time to catch a limp Chat Noir, his skin completely blue. Her eyes widened as she nudged his cheek, trying to elicit any sort of reaction from him.

“What did you do to him?!”

The akuma’s smile was almost ghastly, nothing like the sweet and caring woman that had held Marinette only minutes earlier.

“I took all his pain from him. Now he will be in a peaceful sleep. You should be grateful, after all, he’ll never be hurt again.”

Marinette felt a heat rushing to her face as she tried to level her emotions. Gently laying him to the ground, Marinette placed a small kiss on her forehead, almost recoiling from how icy he felt.

“Now, it is your turn Caline.”

Before Marinette could move, the akuma's hand had already reached Bustier’s face

“Sleep is too peaceful for you. No, you Caline Bustier will turn on your own methods and finally punish those who deserve it.”

Marinette swung her yo-yo and the woman, trying to pull her teacher away, but it was useless. She watched as Bustier turned a warm shade of orange, her pupils enlarging until all that was left of her eye was a small patch of white in the corner.

“Gods, no.” Marinette raised her hand to her mouth in horror at her former teacher.

With a renewed fury, Marinette swung forward dodging the ribbons that seemed to move on their own.

“C’mon hero, shouldn’t you be for this idea! This woman breaks down the strong and raises the bullies on thrones, she deserves every minute of her punishment.”

Marinette cried out as her yo-yo finally made contact with a small locket sitting on the akuma’s chest. A small purple butterfly quickly flitted out but her yo-yo was quicker snatching it mid-air. As she released the butterfly, she ran back to where her partner laid, the color fading from his skin as he returned to a healthier shade.

Once she was sure he was going to be fine, Marinette walked over to the victim.

“Stephanie? Are you okay?”

She crouched to where the woman was sitting, her locket opened in her hand. Risking a peek, Marinette’s heart melted at the small phrase that it held inside.

“If we wish to change the world, we must all learn to love each other. It’s what she first told me when I entered her class all those years ago.”

Marinette risked a look over to where Bustier stood. The woman’s eyes were wide with concern as she fiddled with her sleeve. Offering a hand to Stephanie, Marinette helped her stand.

“You really hurt me Caline. Do you understand how much of a perfectionist I became? It was unhealthy. I lost jobs for taking too long on projects because I knew I couldn't turn in something that wasn’t example worthy. Do you know how many raises I missed out on because I took the high road and let my coworkers walk all over me, claiming my victories as their own?”

Bustier opened her mouth and closed it as if she was a gaping fish. Marinette slowly became conscious of the gathering crowd, all watching the exchange between the two women.

“Maybe-”

The woman held a hand to Marinette’s face as she marched forward, her own eyes watering in frustration.

“Did you know that I finally got a job on the school board? I was coming to observe your class, confident that you had realized your error by now, but then do you know what I overhear? You scolding another poor young girl like you did to me all those years ago. Do you know how many people you have hurt?”

Marinette took a step backward as she helped Chat Noir to his feet, both unsure how to handle the situation in front of them.

“What do we do my lady?”

“I’m not sure there’s much we can do.”

They watched as the color drained from Bustier’s face as Stephanie took a step forward. Her eyes narrowed in on the woman as she cleared her throat.

“Let’s make one thing clear here. I’ll return at a random date to do this observation and if I feel in the slightest way that the young woman I saw or anyone for that matter is falling victim to your abuse then I will see to it that you never teach again. Understood?”

Bustier simply nodded as the woman turned on her heel, exiting the building as chaos exploded. Marinette shared a look with Chat Noir as they both swung out of the school, trying to keep neutral faces.

It wasn’t the way they would’ve handled it, but maybe a little karma is what they needed to push for a change and neither could deny how ready they were for that.

Permanent Tag List:

@damianette-is-life @ash-amg @rebecarojas07 @heaven428 @long-lost-peace @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss

[sheisbeautyweareworldass]

Better days

Thomas has a nightmare, Alastair is there for him.

Words count: 1.783

TW: death mention

Author note: This is fluffy, very fluffy. I wasn't kidding when I said I was a softie. I know a lot of people love angst stuff so..... just letting you guys know <3

---------X---------

Thomas woke up sweating, gasping – his heartbeat sounding like a drum to his own ears. He rubbed his eyes, trying to shake away any trace of sleep from them. The room was still dark, dim moonlight coming through the window. He looked at the other side of the bed, where Alastair was sleeping peacefully. The last thing Thomas wanted was to wake him up with his ragged breath.

Thomas really wished he could go back to sleep, but he had no idea how. His mother always said that there was nothing that tea couldn’t heal – maybe the tea he’d drunk before going to bed was still warm? Or maybe he should go outside for some fresh air, and walk for a while – clear up his mind. His gaze followed Alastair’s frame next to him – it would be easy for him to calm down if his lover was already awake, but he would not wake Alastair up just because of a bad dream. Last night tea, it is then, he decided.

The taller boy was on mid-step when he heard a noise coming from behind – duvets moving and a sharp breath of someone who didn’t expect to be awake.

“Thomas?” Alastair said, destroying any hopes he had of sneaking out in secret.

“I’m sorry.” He turned to face his boyfriend. “I tried to not make any sound to wake you.”

“It wasn’t your noise who woke me up, hamsar-am, it was your absence.” He said calmly – his hand was resting on the spot of the bed where Thomas was seconds ago. The Lightwood boy felt his heart flip, as it always did when Alastair directed such words to him, warm content spreading all over his body. “Why are you awake?”

There was no point in lying, he knew. “Nightmare,” Thomas told him.

He watched the way Alastair’s eyes got darker in understanding. Thomas’ nightmares didn’t happen as often as they did in the first months after Barbara’s death, but they could always return – especially when he was too tired from the battle of the day before like he was tonight.

Alastair was silent for a couple of seconds, just looking at him, then he sat up, back against the headboard with arms wide open. “Come back to bed, Thomas.”

Thomas went easily, as if answering to Alastair’s call was his second nature. That’s what I needed, what I wanted, he thought, as his face sunk deep into the other man’s neck. Alastair smelled like coffee and wood - everything about him was warm and strong, in a way that made Thomas’ mind travel back to summer days in Paris and lazy nights next to their fireplace. In his honest opinion, everything about Alastair was a reminder of home, like a compass needle finally settling down and finding its place.

“You should’ve woken me up,” Alastair whispered.

Thomas shrugged. “You looked way too handsome sleeping,” He said, resting his chin on the dark-haired boy’s shoulder, hoping to sound flirty and playfully.

“And I would look way too handsome awake, azizam,” Alastair made no effort in hiding his eyes rolling.

Thomas also made no effort in hiding his smile. “I wanted to admire you,” he tried again.

“And I want to admire you too, Thomas. So, next time, just wake me up so we can admire each other simultaneously, alright? Don’t be selfish.” He said but there was no real heat behind his voice.

They stood like that for a few minutes, Thomas hugging Alastair’s mid-section, Alastair playing with Thomas’ hair and caressing his tattoo. It was a quiet night, the wind wasn’t too cold and no sound came from the streets. Peaceful nights were a rare occurrence to Shadowhunters, and Thomas mentally cursed the fact that his nightmares returned in what seemed to be the best night of the month. He heard Alastair’s almost inaudible humming next to him, a familiar melody that it took him a while to recognize as the first song he’d shown to his boyfriend.

For most of his childhood and teenage years, Thomas had been too thin, too sickly, too small to properly fit anywhere. Then, suddenly, he’d gotten too tall, too muscular, too big – and there was still nothing suitable to him. But in moments like these, when he and Alastair were curled up against each other, Thomas knew that he’d never been too small or too big: he’d always been in a perfect size to fit Alastair’s body.

He remembered the nights when he wondered if his curse was to never feel like he belonged to somewhere – if the feeling of lacking and excess would always be there. But when he looked at the shadows of their bodies melting in one, when he listened to their synchronized heartbeats, Thomas knew that his body had been made to fit right into Alastair’s frame, by his side, in his arms.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He heard him ask.

“Not really,” Thomas said. “I barely remember what happened in the dream, you know? Jus-just the pain? The desperation and powerlessness.” He blinked away the tears, refusing to cry.

He’d never been good in talking about losing Barbara. His parents and friends had assured him it would be okay for him to open up, to speak out about the pain, but Thomas didn’t think he could do it. He’d tried to put down in songs, in poems, to describe how it felt to have an empty spot on his chest – the voidness that would always be there from now on – but his words never seemed to capture the reality and the rawness of having a loved one taken away. It was a vulnerability he wasn’t used to and he hated how there was nothing that could’ve prepared him for it. More than anything else, he hated the fact that he couldn’t mend his mother’s heart, hated how the shadow between his father’s eyes would never leave and how Eugenia was now deprived of the company of her dearest confidant. It was like Thomas was 8 again, too fragile to have any power over how things worked – except that now he was older and bigger, but still powerless.

Alastair’s voice brought him back, “Do you want me to play the piano?”

They’d found out, by accident, at the beginning of their restored friendship, that Thomas’ restless mind felt calmer if he listened to Alastair playing the piano. It had been good, back then – but that was before they’d found out that Alastair’s arms could bring him more comfort than any music, and way before they discovered the effect of his lips. Still, it was rare for him to deny an opportunity to listen to the other man.

“No.” Thomas pressed his face deeper into the curve of Alastair’s neck. “We’re in the middle of the night, better not risk to wake the neighbor. Besides,” he grinned, “that requires for you to get up of the bed and let go of me.”

He felt Alastair shaking from silent laughter. “I don’t remember a time where you were clingier than you’re right now”.

That made Thomas look up, his boyfriend was sounding way too satisfied for his liking. “That’s very brave coming from you, Mr. I-Searched-For-Every-Potential-Date-Idea-In-Paris-Because-I-Wanted-To-Stay-With-You-The-Whole-Time.”

Alastair pinched his arm playfully. “I don’t record you saying no to my invitations.”

“How could I?” He could see that small, not-so-rare-anymore smile on Alastair’s lips, the one Thomas wished he could draw and get it tattooed on his other arm, on his eyelids, and on his heart. He leaned closer, “You were paying for everything.”

Alastair let out a surprised laugh, disbelief addressing his features before raising his chin up, using his more dramatic voice. “For someone who doesn’t want me to stop holding you, Lightwood, you sure as hell dedicate lot of time in tempting me to do it.”

Thomas made a hmph sound. They both knew that Alastair’s arms would stay around him as long as Thomas wanted to – but he tangled their legs together anyway. Just for assurance.

“Thank you,” he muttered against the man’s skin. He didn’t need to elaborate; they both knew what Alastair was doing.

His lover was looking at him, his black eyes glittering in a way that made Thomas shiver with adoration - even in the dark of the night, Alastair’s eyes were the brightest spot in his world. “We should go back to sleep now.”

He felt a brief kiss being deposited on his lips and another one on his temple. “We should. Believe me, you want to be at your best for your sister’s wedding.”

Thomas’ eyebrows quirked up, “Speaking from experience?”

“Obviously.” Alastair made a sour face, “but at least Eugenia is marrying a nice man. There’s no need to worry.”

Thomas grinned in response and kissed him one more time.

He would still have bad days, he knew. It would be foolish to believe that Barbara’s death wouldn’t come back to haunt him sometimes. She was his sister, his flesh and blood; he’d known her face before he’d learned to walk, had known her voice before even knowing his own. He would never stop missing her, and if at some nights the pain became unbearable, that was okay. Thomas looked at Alastair, whose eyes were already closed, another person who knew grief and loss. Alastair also had his bad nights, moments when his father’s yelling was too loud and his mother’s death bed became vivid red again.

At least they had each other. Thomas knew it wasn’t enough – wounds like the ones they had weren’t healed by kisses and hand holding – but it helped to have someone to carry your burden with, someone to listen to your words, and to be by your side throughout your journey of recovery.

They had other people too. Cordelia, Alastair’s most fierce defender was always with him, as were his own set of loyal friends. Thomas had his parents, his sister, and the brothers of his heart. They had a very exigent 2-years-old toddler sleeping in the room next to theirs, the neighbor who always made his presence known whenever he heard his brother playing the piano. They had a family, people with whom they were bonded by blood or by heart.

It wasn’t good to have nightmares and Thomas absolutely hated them, but he would always be grateful for the privilege of waking up in a reality where he was surrounded by so much love and companionship, a reality where the people he cherished the most were only a touch away. He entwined his hand with Alastair’s, allowing himself to enjoy the feeling of calmness. Thomas sighed and closed his eyes.

Tomorrow would be a better day.

---------X---------

Azizam: my love

Hamsar-am: my equal head

[sepublic]

King’s Progress

           In all honesty, I feel like King is amongst Luz and Amity as having the most clear-cut, sense of progression and development amongst the cast in Season 1?

           Thinking back on Really Small Problems, I really love its portrayal of King here… And, well, ALL of the episodes centering on King, really! Some might say that it’s repetitive to keep having episodes where he makes a mistake and apologizes, and while I can see that… Personally, I’m not too bothered because said episodes are always entertaining, I always love King content, but also…

           There’s a very clear sense of progression amongst King’s mistakes, as the season goes along? If RSP were Episode 11, King would’ve likely chosen to spray Willow and Gus with ‘Obivioso’s potion and then reaped what he sowed afterwards. But he doesn’t, and King genuinely surprised me with how mature he was in that episode… He was still immature ultimately, but you could tell he was still approaching things in a much more mature fashion than in prior episodes. King actively chooses not to make Willow and Gus disappear, but he DOES still hold onto the potion… And while it was an accident for them to ‘disappear’, King nevertheless takes advantage of the situation now that it’s happened. It’s not entirely his fault, but he still could’ve made amends any time and fixed what happened- Again, even if it wasn’t totally his fault here.

           I guess you could say it’s a lesson on how even if one doesn’t necessarily cause an unfortunate situation… It’s still one’s responsibility to help someone out of it, and/or fix that situation- Even if you benefit from it! Because again, even if you weren’t exactly responsible for what happened, it’s still a little unethical to choose to keep benefitting from that incident. I suppose it hearkens back to that ‘With great power comes great responsibility’ quote from Spiderman… How in some versions of the story, Peter chose to look the other way because the robber offered him something for his silence. Peter wasn’t the one who robbed anyone, he’s just a bystander- But he still chooses to passively benefit from the incident instead of doing the right thing, and calling the cops. And as we infamously know, Peter suffers the consequences when the problem directly affects him, too, and kills Uncle Ben.

           King’s dilemma in Really Small Problems is a similar situation. He didn’t make the potion, he didn’t take it from Obvioso, and he didn’t willingly use it- But there was still something he could’ve easily done about the situation, but he chose not to because he benefitted otherwise. And as a result, King still shoulders blame and accountability… Which again, ties back into how circumstances may encourage people to do bad decisions (like Obivioso handing over the potion), but it’s still up to an individual to act on those choices in the end… And King acknowledges this, in another surprising act of genuine maturity!

           And, I like that- As I said, it’s a sense of progression. A few episodes earlier, and King would’ve willingly caused the mess, instead of just knowingly benefitting from it, when otherwise he could end the whole thing right then and there (or at least THOUGHT he could). This gets me onto Sense and Insensitivity, and it’s an interesting parallel to The Intruder… Both are King-centric episodes, that focus and expand upon the seemingly inconsequential B-plot of the previous episode! In Episode 3, King competes with Eda on who’s the better teacher… And then in the next episode, we see that he’s actually serious about wanting to mentor Luz, or at least feel listened by someone! His motives are given more depth!

           Similarly, Escape of the Palisman has King take advantage of Eda’s mental state for his own gain, only to get her into trouble… Then we have Sense and Insensitivity, which focuses on a similar mistake. However, it’s different… Because in the previous episode, King still put Eda into physical danger by taking her outside. Whereas in SaI… Again, what King does IS cold and harsh towards Luz. But in the end, it’s only emotional damage- He’s not jeopardizing Luz herself by getting her into potential trouble with the authorities or anything. I mean, Luz DOES end up getting kidnapped by Piniet and thrown into his Writer’s Block, but that was never part of the agreement King made with Piniet… At least not knowingly. The possibility for this could’ve been in fine print, but in this scenario I feel it’s less the result of King apathetically disregarding others, and more him just being a general dum-dum, so I’m willing to overlook it.

           What’s interesting is that King is upfront about how he hurt Luz, to her face. In the previous episode, he took advantage of Eda’s physical prowess. Here, he takes advantage of Luz’s creative prowess… In the previous episode, King learns not to make others do things for him, nor violate their personal autonomy. In SaI, King then builds upon this lesson, by recognizing that even if he isn’t going to make Luz write for him or anything… He’s still being cold and insensitive and hurting her emotionally. Each time King makes a mistake, it’s still a new lesson in its own way, built upon past lessons… Each mistake of his is less and less egregious, and more understandable and mature. He’s a repeatedly-flawed character and certainly not perfect… But what’s interesting about seeing him continue to make mistakes, is that you can still clearly see how King is at least managing to do better than last time! His mistakes become more and more understandable, with each one he makes.

           Progress isn’t always smooth. It can be messy, and fraught with constant mistakes. But it’s worth noting that while King doesn’t retain the ENTIRE lesson with each mistake… He still clearly learns something in the end, and applies it. King doesn’t perfectly apply what he’s learned and not to its fullest extent, but you get the sense that he’s trying, and that each lesson teaches him that while he technically didn’t make the same mistake as LAST time, King himself is still liable to certain other mistakes. He’s learning, more and more, how to be more responsible and less selfish. Going from outright using someone physically, to using their ideas… To not knowingly causing a mess, but still choosing to benefit from it when King thinks he has the power to end it otherwise.

           Like Lilith, King isn’t perfect. He tries to learn the lesson in a way that’s most convenient to him- Like that time he took advantage of Eda’s cursed state, and when Eda asks him what happened, King denies his guilt! Like Lilith he definitely learned his lesson somewhat and won’t make the same mistake, but he’s going to otherwise pretend he’s innocent to others. King willingly ignores that it’s not just enough that he learned not to cause a mess, but that he needs to also actively improve upon things when he has the power to do so- Ironic, given King’s frustrations with a lack of agency! He tries to retain the lesson in a way where he minimizes the amount of mistakes he made… But even so, King still manages to learn something. He still recognizes that he had to have made a mistake, and so there had to have been something that was learned… And while King can make it easier for himself by trying to minimize the extent of his lesson (and thus the realization of how far his mistakes went), it still says a lot that he keeps on trying and improving, each time.

           Speaking of which, I have to wonder if part of the reason why people don’t really notice King’s development is… Well, aside from OTHER things distracting from his progress (like Eda and Lilith’s relationship or the entirety of Understanding Willow, understandably), in hilariously meta sense? King is lowkey dismissed in real life as just being the fluffy, animal sidekick trope… A lot of people don’t stop to consider that hey, he does have legitimate flaws that he does work upon, that King has a clear sense of progression throughout the season, and in many ways he parallels Lilith, of all people! It’s just like how in-universe, King is overlooked and dismissed as JUST a cute and fluffy pet… In real life, a lot of people do the same and don’t bother considering his potential depth!

           It’s kind of the reverse of Infinity Train’s Book 2… How a lot of people noted at the beginning that Lake was clearly a narrative reflection of Jesse. But then near the end, one of our main antagonists ends up acknowledging this fact, in-universe, in the worst way possible- By noting how the Infinity Train possibly set Lake up to function as a ‘reflection’ of Jesse in the metaphorical sense, there by transplanting what was acknowledged in real life, and bringing it up in-universe! In this scenario, King brings up how he’s often overlooked and dismissed as just the fluffy, cute sidekick… And lo in behold in real life, a lot of people overlook King and see him as JUST that trope, instead of at least that trope and more!

           (Not to cast stones at anyone or imply that someone is less of a fan, or meaner, for not considering King’s potential depth as a character. There’s a LOT this show has to offer, so it’s understandable that some things are missed out upon, because one’s mind can only take in and process so much. I just think it’s an amusing coincidence is all, and I don’t think anyone is actively to blame, or at least not malicious nor terrible for it!)

[wetalkinboutbooks]

New Year, New Review 🤩

A Sky Beyond the Storm by Sabaa Tahir

Summary: The long-imprisoned jinn are on the attack, wreaking bloody havoc in villages and cities alike. But for the Nightbringer, vengeance on his human foes is just the beginning.

At his side, Commandant Keris Veturia declares herself Empress, and calls for the heads of any and all who defy her rule. At the top of the list? The Blood Shrike and her remaining family.

Laia of Serra, now allied with the Blood Shrike, struggles to recover from the loss of the two people most important to her. Determined to stop the approaching apocalypse, she throws herself into the destruction of the Nightbringer. In the process, she awakens an ancient power that could lead her to victory--or to an unimaginable doom.

And deep in the Waiting Place, the Soul Catcher seeks only to forget the life--and love--he left behind. Yet doing so means ignoring the trail of murder left by the Nightbringer and his jinn. To uphold his oath and protect the human world from the supernatural, the Soul Catcher must look beyond the borders of his own land. He must take on a mission that could save--or destroy--all that he knows. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: The final instalment of the Ember Quartet had us crying in the metaphorical club. It’s exciting, terrifying, and probably the horniest book in the series and we loved it!

~Spoiler-full discussion below~

The Good:

→ Elias and Laia

Geena: In the final instalment of the Ember quartet, Sabaa deprives us of an Elias POV and slaps us with the Soulcatcher instead… He’s very much an ‘emotions are bad’ type of dude, the opposite of Elias who always had so many… but both of them are so angsty? The Soulcatcher really likes to beat up trees when his memories from when he was Elias resurface which was so emo to me. Despite being possessed by Mauth he is also such a coward, especially around Laia, because Elias’ feelings for Laia scare him and every single time he is like *running emoji*. We were surprised that Sabaa let him remain the soulcatcher for so long, every chapter I was like ‘Okay, maybe this is where Elias breaks through…’ but no.. Elias remained buried UNTIL their night in the cabin… the Soulcatcher was like ‘k I’m out’ but ONLY for ONE NIGHT and that still makes me scream.. The Soulcatcher was like ‘you kids are too horny for me, I’m gonna take a nap for a bit and let Elias take over bc Jesus.’ 

Despite it all, the Soulcatcher’s chapters were enjoyable albeit painful because this man was so duty bound, like even Elias wasn’t that dedicated when he was a Mask. But near the end, when we finally get the chapter that starts with Elias…. Ngl I cried a little, and immediately wanted to reread the whole series (I feel like Sabaa did this on purpose to torture us). I want to fight Sabaa though, like she did an amazing job showing how Elias’ conscious and the Soulcatcher’s conscious were constantly fighting one another, and how Elias’ memories of the people he loved ultimately fuelled the Soulcatcher’s actions… even though the Soulcatcher was like ‘I’m doing this for the ghosts’ like okay… no ghost told you to keep protecting and kissing Laia but you still did it…  

Kae: Okay, so Geena summed up my boy Ilyaas pretty damn well. Also, we LOVE HIS ETHNIC NAME IN THIS HOUSE. But um, YES. Elias was a sad boy ™ the whole time while fighting his emotions and ultimately losing. It was so PAINFUL as a reader, seeing all of  his chapters except the ONE say ‘Soulcatcher’. But when it finally said ELIAS again, I too, started to cry. Because he was BACK. 

You can all thank the power of Laia’s determination to seduce Elias back to himself, because our girl was NOT giving up. She said ‘you gonna get this coochie, dammit’ and in the cabin, Elias was like ‘well i’ll be damned. I sure as hell am. I am BACK BAYBEEEEE’

Geena: Sabaa Tahir said horny rights like ksjdnfdsjknfsdk

Kae: AUFVAHLHVKJ. BUT YES. In the end, love won. And so did sex because everyone was doin it or TRYING to do it. I guess when the world is ending, you only get one last time to uhh…. Have a good time. So they made sure they did lmao 

Now, let’s get into Laia. 

Laia. My sweet little cupcake. My mug of tea with too much honey. This girl has been through literal hell and back, and yet, she kept going. She NEVER gave up. Laia woke up in book 4 like ‘Today i will commit crimes. Helene and I crave violence’ and they both just started kicking ASS and I LOVED THAT. I was really happy to see the progression of Laia and Helen’s friendship and how they genuinely grew to like one another and see each other as besties. They both deserved a girl friend and I’m glad they found a friendship within each other. 

Laia is the bravest character in this damn book. She went from poor scholar, to slave, to hero and she was brave because she had to be. Laia is strong and took on their entire world. She had help, but she did a lot of it alone and that takes some real guts. She is the most genuine, sweetest, bravest girl and I love her. <3 

Laia also single handedly brought the Ilyaas back from his Soulcatcher shit. During this whole book she was just like ‘You know what? I think I’mma go mess with Elias’ emo ass today to see if I can get him to kiss me or something’ THEN SHE PROCEEDED TO SHOW UP AT THIS MANS HOUSE (realm or whatever) BUTTASS NEKKID. And he saw her and immediately flew the hell out of there it was TOO MUCH and he LIKED IT but couldn’t admit it. 

Geena: You know what I love about that whole scene was like earlier she was like ‘He’s a lost cause idc’ and then Darin was like ‘Elias wouldn’t give up on you if that happened’ and Laia was like ‘you’re right, he would show up stark naked and try to seduce me back to my body’ and she did just that...

Kae: SHE DID. SHE SHOWED UP AND SHOWED OUT! Like, her entire mission was to bring Elias back while also planning on taking down the Nightbringer. But she was straight up like ‘okay but not before i get my man back through SEDUCTION’. Ugh, the mango scene?  Superb. 

Geena: Laia is hands down one of my favourite book characters to exist. Her journey from the first book being a scared girl with a missing brother, to being the face of a revolution… like the GROWTH. Like Kae mentioned, she and Helene end up as BESTIIEESSSS, and I was surprised at how natural they seemed. Because we went from them hating each other to close friends, but despite not seeing their development, it came off so natural? So, I loved that! 

Kae covered Laia’s character pretty thoroughly, she was both a horndog and a bad bitch. Like this girl has pretended to be a Slave for the Commandment to travelling a desert by herself and facing off a squad of Jinn… In retrospect, Laia is a unique case, she’s allowed to be kind and caring and doesn’t have to be a fighter type to be strong. She’s not the chosen one, which this book made clear, it could’ve been anyone to fight the Nightbringer… but only Laia was strong enough to love him AND defy him. And I just love her a lot… she was very much an anime protagonist with the power of love, family, and friendship… anyways I love her and that’s all I have to say

→ Helene 

Geena: The way I ended up liking and rooting for Helene this book? Came out of left field. To be honest, in previous books I didn’t feel much for her other than ‘stop chasing after Elias and Laia pls.’ But this book I wanted her to win, especially with the fight against the germanic-esque invaders. She goes through substantial development, no longer seeing Scholars as slaves and taking their opinions seriously.. Like Laia, Musa, and Darin were all a part of her crew. A stark difference from Book 1 Helene, who thought Scholars only had one role in the world and that was slaves. 

Helene… like Laia… really has the Ember equivalent of hot girl summer with Harper… all the time she spends denying it she is like *jumps on him the chance she gets*. The bath scene… Helene’s power was turning her tortuer into her MAN… But also Sabaa said that ‘yes she has changed, but she has to repent for her sins’ and that’s why Helene is basically left alone at the end (save for Laia, Elias, and Musa). 

Kae: So not gonna lie, I never actually disliked Helene. I saw her as the flawed character she was in the beginning. During her cat and mouse chase with Elias and Laia in the beginning, she would piss me OFF because like, that’s your BEST FRIEEEEEND. JUST STAAAAHP. But also, it was him or her and her family's death, so I get it. But I always saw potential in her to be better. And thank GOODNESS she went through all that character development. Because she was a damn menace in the beginning. 

Also like Geena mentioned; Helly and Harper finally hooking up? I swear the heavens opened up in that moment because EVERYONE could feel their tension. LIKE JUST DO IT ALREADY. You can’t fight love, baybeeee

Watching Helly grow as a person was really rewarding as a reader. Like Geena said, she went from hating scholars to being like ‘hmm, maybe my opinions are shitty?’ and straight up changed.  I also feel for her because she lost her ENTIRE family and like, honestly? I would’ve given up. BUT SHE DIDN’T. She’s a literal fighter, bred for this shit. So she FOUGHT. And I was really scared she was gonna get murked because y’all know Keris’ tiny evil ass doesn’t have a chill button. And when they were fighting? I was like LAWD PLS DON’T  TAKE HELLY. But instead he took Harper *upside down smiley face* SO THAT WAS FUCKED UP AND I WASN’T READY FOR IT. But a piece of me knew it was coming. 

The Bad:   

→ Darin and Harper

Geena: As Kae mentioned… Harper kicked the can in this book :’( His eventual fall came from loving and caring for Helene too much, which left him open and gave Keris the chance to stab him. Harper was basically Helene’s heart outside her body, and when he went down so did Helene. I had had a feeling when Book 3 ended that Harper wouldn’t make it, but I WASN’T HAPPY ABOUT BEING RIGHT FOR ONCE… Harper had finally met his brother (Elias) and hadn’t even had a chance to meet the real Elias and talk to him about their father or other sibling stuff. LIKE OF ALL CHARACTER DEATHS… AND THERE WAS A LOT… The other one that came out of left field was fucking Darin of Serra… DARIN… THE ONE DUDE WE SPENT TWO WHOLE BOOKS SAVING… DEAD WITH A SNAP OF HIS NECK!! I WAS SO MAD

LIKE SABAA HAD US THINKING HE WAS GONNA BE SAFE, SHE GAVE HIM A LIL GIRLFRIEND AND EVERYTHING BUT THEN SHE GOES.. AND KILLS HIM?? JUST LIKE THAT?? Then we had to read the scenes where Elias helps both Darin and Harper pass over into the afterlife and I was just *cries angrily* 

Kae: Well, THAT was sad. Have you ever just like, felt your heart break into a million tiny irreparable pieces? That’s how I felt when Darin and Harper died. Because like, they were both trying to save the women they loved. Darin to Laia, (foolishly so against the Nightbringer) but I would do it for my little sister too. And Harper with Helene against evilass Keris. Dude, that shit just sucked. It hurt to read. It hurt to imagine the girls feeling the pain of their deaths. They were both such good men. And DARIIIN. 

Darin didn’t have to go out like that, man. It was such a harsh death. No last words. It was just over and his body was just gone. I wish Laia would’ve been able to talk with him at The Waiting Place at least one last time. But it is what it is. I hated to see both of them go. Especially since Darin pretty much sparked this whole series. 

Sure, Laia, Helene, and Elias were the main characters. But Darin was the spark that started the fire. And he didn’t even get to see it’s flames extinguished. 

Geena: He was the ember in the ashes… literally like Sabaa uses that for Elias and Laia but it applies to Darin the most

Kae: LITCHRALLY gonna get teary eyed over here. Our boys deserved better :( 

Conclusion 

Geena: This was not at all a disappointing end to the series we’ve followed closely for so long. The different plot points and character arcs were tied up nicely, and Sabaa Tahir showed us once again why she’s one of the best fantasy writers on this side of the Milky Way. We didn’t even bother including a ‘The Ugly’ section because we loved it too much ksfmsd. The only qualm I’d have with the end was the empire remaining, Helene recognized the Scholars as equals but centuries of pain isn’t easily forgotten you know? SO THAT’S WHY I THINK WE DESERVE A SEQUEL SERIES… BUT I DIGRESS… OVERALL, I loved this book and the ending for all the characters ESPECIALLY FOR OUR GIRL LAIA <3

Kae: YES. I AGREE 100% WITH GEENA. It was such a beautiful end to the series. Sabaa is  GENIUS and her storytelling is phenomenal. I loved every little surprise she’s hidden in all of the books. ESPECIALLY WITH COOK BEING ALIVE? I DIDN’T SEE THAT SHIT COMING AT ALL. LIKE HOLY SHIT? So Laia had some remaining family afterall, and I think that’s very sweet. I’m really sad to see the series be over with and Geena and I are both *~HOPIIIING~* for an epilogue or some little crumbs or SOMETHING with the gang and how their lives ended up into middle adulthood or something. 

Geena: I would literally take a single paragraph… Ms. Tahir…. Blease…

Kae: But yes, in conclusion, Laia has a heart of gold and we LOVE HER. She’s brave and strong and smart, and was the only one out of THOUSANDS to stick for herself and defy the Nightbringer, and save the whole world. Helene has come a long way and she developed beautifully as a character. And Elias. Ohhh, Ilyaas. His continued self sacrifice and bravery and love still helped him live in the end and I think that’s beautiful. 

[justasparkwritings]

Codename Cupid: Chapter 20

Previous: Codename Miss Cuttlefish, If Ya Nasty 

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x OFC

Genre: Secret AgentAU, Government AgentAU

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: Codename Black Panther sends a shock wave through one OT7 member as he grapples with what his orders mean to his life outside the organization. 

Codename: Black Panther

Present Day

           Jungkook walks into the offices of OT7, sunglasses on, smile on his face as he sends a text message to Cricket. He can’t deny it, he’s happy, like really truly happy and so deeply in love. It’s been a minute since he’s been in any sort of relationship, let alone with someone so dazzling, electric as her. He didn’t mind the fall because it felt too great, too inviting, too much like home. Returning from his training at headquarters, he’d made a bee line to Cricket before returning to the dorms the next day, alerting the others to his suspicious absences. They didn’t pay it much mind, which put Jungkook on high alert. But not too high, after all, the cloud of love has him soaring.

           “Jungkook,” Namjoon calls, pulling Jungkook’s eyes away from the text he’d just sent and to the conference room. Everyone is seated around the table, tablets and computers strewn about, coffee cups and refills waiting patiently to be consumed. Yoongi growling about something, Jimin trying to reign in the negativity that was so unnecessary this early in the morning. Jungkook, upon glancing up at the screen, stops dead in his tracks, eyes wide, taking in the image in front of him.

           “Why, why is her picture, why is her picture up there?” He stutters.

           “Black Panther?” Hoseok’s voice increase by an octave, confusion evident in the heightened pitch and arched eyebrows he addresses at Jungkook’s change in demeanor.

           “Why is she up there?” He demands, finger still pointing at the screen. “Whose mark is she?”

           “Black Panther?” Hoseok asks again.

           “Sit, I was just about to brief everyone,” Namjoon says, pointing to Jungkook’s chair. He sits next to Jimin, who eyes him suspiciously. Jungkook knows that Jimin knows, the slight eyebrow raise, the words unsaid. He’s absolutely fucked.

           “What’s got you so hot and bothered?” Yoongi asks. He doesn’t look at Jungkook, just listens to the horror lingering in his voice. “You know her?”

           “That’s an understatement,” Taehyung adds, sipping his tea and watching the scene unfold.

           “Kook?” Yoongi asks.

           “She’s, she’s my girlfriend,” Jungkook tells them, eyes still the size of saucers, heart percussing like a high school marching band in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.

           “What?” Hobi’s jaw drops. That was the problem with forgery and documentation, he thought, always the last to know.

           “You’re shitting me,” Yoongi cackles.

           “Is this going to be a Cupid part 2?” Seokjin asks, eyes warily glancing from JK to Joon. “What was that mission called?”

           “Codename: The First Heartbreak,” Hoseok answers.

           “Who told you?” Jungkook requests.

           “Who do you think?” Namjoon responds.

           “You were tailing me?” He seethes.

           “We weren’t tailing you, we were tailing her,” Taehyung corrects him. “There were too many coincidences, and then,”

           Namjoon changes the slide, and there is all the proof OT7 needed. Jungkook and Y/N, holding hands, kissing, arms around each other… Photographic proof from the last eight or so months that they were indeed dating.

           The wind is knocked out of his lungs as he collapses into his chair. One photo and he could’ve downplayed it, but an entire series spanning season changes? How long had they known?

           “How long has this been going on?” Namjoon demands, knowing full well it’s nearly as long as they’ve been tailing Black Panther.

           Jaw locking, Jungkook responds through clenched teeth, “A while.”

           Jaw locking to mimic Jungkook, Namjoon grinds his teeth. “How long is a while?”

           “Shouldn’t you know?” Yoongi interrupts.

“A few months,” Jungkook responds.

           “Months?” Hobi asks.

           “10 months, five days,” Jungkook clarifies.

           “Ten months?” Jimin yells.

           “We’ve only got proof of the last six!” Taehyung answers.

           “You’ve been sitting on this for six months?” Yoongi barks. “You didn’t tell me?”

“Are you in love?” Seokjin questions.

           “Is she in danger if I am?” Jungkook doesn’t look to his hyung, eyes still staring down Namjoon.

           He shakes his head in response. “No more than she is if you aren’t,” Clearing his throat, he changes the graphic on the screen. “For the sake of this mission, we need to begin to isolate work JK from real world JK,” Namjoon instructs. “You can ask him questions about his dating life during off hours.”

           “Black Panther knows about your job?” Yoongi asks.

           “She knows that I work for a government agency, doing a variety of tasks, but that’s it,” Jungkook informs him. “I asked. I asked you if I could tell her-

           “You asked if you could tell the person you’re dating, you never said it was her,” Namjoon snips. The tension has moved through his entire body, clenching his muscles.

           “How was I supposed to know she was the one you were following?” Jungkook bites back. “You didn’t say anything!”

           “I am not obligated to,” Namjoon responds. “And you asked so early on, I didn’t know.”

           “Didn’t know she’d become a pawn in your games?” Jungkook asks.

           “You had been dating a few months, I didn’t know she was going to be a part of this.”

           “But when you found out, you kept it to yourself, so you, Jimin and Taehyungie could plot and plan,” The accusation sits low in his brows, scraping the bottom of his vocal register against the truth he’s desperately seeking.

           “Jungkook,” Namjoon clicks his jaw, his tell, and Jungkook prepares for the battle by cocking his eyebrow, daring Joon to make a move.

           Using his analytical mind to read the room, Seokjin uses his place as the eldest to break the tension. “Does she know you are connected to us?”

           “No, she doesn’t know that we’re connected, but she’s asked about the tattoo,” Jungkook informs them.

           “I told you not to get that stupid-

           “You’re the one who sent her notes on watermarked paper!”

           “That was one note!” Hoseok interjects. “It was one note, and I will not rat out whoever did it, but it was handled.”

           “Focus on what matters,” Seokjin interjects.

           “The intimidation you’ve been sending her for months?”

           “Jeon,” Namjoon’s choice of last name does not go unnoticed, and Jungkook shrinks into himself.

           “I can’t tell how pissed Joon is,” Taehyung says, eyeing their leader. “Is this Yoongi forgets to turn on his recorder during a meeting about an Agust D mark, or Hoseok putting the wrong date on the –

           “Why are you dragging us into this?” Yoongi asks.

           “Say something,” Jungkook whispers.

           “How did you two meet?” Namjoon wants to know.

           “In a bar,” Jungkook answers. The room is silent, everyone negotiating whether to leave it at that, or press on. They know what Namjoon said, but clearly that doesn’t apply today.

           Yoongi just wants the kid to be happy, the youngest of the 7, he’s been indoctrinated with OT7 nonsense since before he had a say, raised to be a top operative in all fields, Jungkook has unwillingly given up the most.

           Hoseok, ray of light that he is, feels similarly to Yoongi, though with less guilt.

           Taehyung and Jimin, however, exude an air of being completely pissed off by the news.

           “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us,” Jimin says.

           Taehyung nods, “Aren’t we brothers?”

           “I didn’t want to spoil it, or for you to go digging. I didn’t want to know anything other than what she’s told me. If I told you, well, you’d do your job a little too well.”

           “If you asked, we wouldn’t have,” Taehyung tells him.

           “You’re mad at me,” Jungkook states.

           “It sucks to find out your brother is dating and potentially in love with someone through your job, not from them,” Jimin answers.

           “You didn’t even hint that you were together,” Taehyung adds.

           “You didn’t tell her about us?” Jimin asks.

           “She, she knows a little, but not your names. I didn’t know, I didn’t know this was her case, or that you’d be watching her.”

           “Some operative,” Yoongi scoffs.

           “Min,” Namjoon warns.

           “Alright, sorry,” Yoongi’s hands are raised in surrender, his smirk tilting his lips.

           “She knows, Jungkook, about us,” Taehyung’s voice is soft. He was always the most delicate with Golden Maknae, something he’d developed when they trained together.

           “I know,” The crown of his head is all that can be seen.

           “How?”

           “You think I don’t know? She’s, I don’t think she’s worried about me being a part of Cupid’s world, but she knows I’m somehow connected to you lot,”

           They sit silently, again, waiting for anyone to speak. Taehyung and Jimin have put some of the pieces together, in their secretive alcove of an office, away from Yoongi’s gaze, they refused to mention that they had potentially fucked up, let alone dragging Namjoon into the errors. As they wait, Yoongi and Hoseok’s nonchalance oozing through the men. Jungkook’s shoulders relax, eyes closing, head resting against the back of his chair. He can’t hold back the tears that are falling, the fear and desolation pulling them down his chin.

           “Jungkook, I am going to ask you to do a few things, and when I ask, you are going to do them in a timely manner, and not argue with me about it, do you understand?” Namjoon always inevitably breaks the silence. His words, a formality they all were expecting.

           “You’re giving me a direct order?” Jungkook clarifies.

           Solemnly nodding, a gesture that surely would tip his entire body into a bow if he was standing, Namjoon replies, “Yes.”

           Mimicking his action, Jungkook nods before speaking, “Can I refuse?”

           “No,” Seokjin answers for him.

           Jungkook looks to Seokjin, whose brown irises are fervent behind his spectacles. He understands the pain that comes with having a girlfriend that OT7 wants to use. He’s been through the heartache of breaking up because work demands it. Staring back at him, Jin knows what he went through with Cupid is nothing like JK and Black Panther, when love is involved, it raises the stakes exponentially.

           “You need to send in photos of her evidence, the ones not transferred to her computer,”

           “The ones she keeps in her surveillance bag,” Jimin answers.

           “You will wear a wire and conform to the set of rules that your predecessors have followed,” Namjoon continues.

           “This is a real relationship, a woman I care about deeply, someone I want a future with. You, I won’t.”

           “You don’t have a choice,”

           “Send me on assignment, send me to headquarters or to Tanzania, send me somewhere but please, don’t make me do this.”

           “Jungkook,” Yoongi, ever soft for his maknae, saunters over to Jungkook. Crouching in front of him, midnight irises into midnight irises, he stares at the teared vessels. “We all have something we have to sacrifice, that we don’t want to put on the line. Seokjin gave up something potentially wonderful, lord knows the danger we put TaeTae in. We all have to, at some point, make that move. Now it’s your turn.”

           “All for one and one for all, right?” Jungkook snorts, the snot dripping from his sinuses pulling back against the pressure.

           “You don’t have to lie to her,” Namjoon’s voice has softened, his sleepless nights giving way to the torturous job of being in charge.

           “You’re asking me to inherently lie to her, to pretend that I’m something I’m not, to sneak around and collect her information! That’s lying,”

           “Yeah, it is,” Yoongi stands, “But what else are you going to do?”

Next: The Final Notice 

[deckerswheeler]

why you shouldn’t ship mileven

**disclaimer** im not gonna be using byler proof or mike’s bi coding as proof against mileven because they are both technically not canon. im only gonna be using canon facts and my opinions on canon situations :)

1. mike is projecting his feelings onto el- in season one, mike is hurt and missing his best friend- will. he is also scared that he may never see will again. because of this, when he meets eleven, he projects those feelings onto her, making her a potential “replacement” for will if turned out to be dead. he is mentally preparing himself for the worst by already building a new friendship with someone else. not to mention, el looks like a boy in the beginning of season one, so it is easier for mike to project those feelings towards will onto her. (again, i’m not referring to byler in a romantic way here, i am solely talking about their friendship). 

2. el attaches herself to anyone who shows her compassion- el has been abused and treated as a science experiment her whole childhood. she doesn’t know what real love feels like, so obviously she is going to emotionally attach herself to anyone who shows a slight interest in her or any type of kindness or platonic love. this can be seen through brenner in season one. despite him being her primary abuser, she still believes that he loves her and she therefore loves him. this can also be seen with terry, when el visits her in the void, she immediately gets attached to her despite not knowing for sure if terry even is her biological mother. as soon as terry disappears, el starts screaming “mama”. and finally in season three, el’s quick attachment to people can be seen with both max and hopper. in season one when el becomes attached to mike, it isn’t in a romantic way. she literally had no idea why it would be weird to take your sister to a school dance (meaning she originally thought of herself as mike’s sister). she has no clue how romantic relationships/feelings work... she barely knows how platonic feelings work.

3. neither are mentally fit for a relationship- continuing with el not knowing how romantic relationships work, she literally does not know what a friend is before lucas tells her. el has the mental capacity of a five year old (besides when using her powers and having survival skills). and i’m not saying that to bash el, i’m saying that because it’s a fact! eleven can barely speak in season one, she doesn’t know basic vocabulary, she has no concept of time, she acts younger than her age, etc. she is stunted mentally and stuck with the education level and maturity level of a young child. obviously she grows as the seasons progress and she is quite better in season three, but even then she is still probably at the educational level of a ten/eleven year old despite being fourteen. there is absolutely nothing about her in season one that makes me believe she was ready for a romantic relationship in any way. no one with her level of abuse and mental stunting should even be in a relationship. as for mike, he is a traumatized boy missing his best friend when he meets el. he barely has any friends to begin with and like lucas said, el is the only girl who isn’t grossed out by him. mike likes getting positive attention from a girl and in his immature twelve-year-old mind that translates to he must have feelings for her. 

4. mileven is not built to last- think about it, in seasons one and two mileven only had like three romantic scenes together in each season. their relationship is built on them both benefiting from one specific thing about the other person. for mike, el is the first girl to show any interest in him and he likes that, he is also looking for an escape from his feelings of stress about will, (seasons one/two). el provides that, whether it be in person, or when he calls her every night, convincing himself he still cares about her in a romantic way. for el, mike is the first person who has treated her as human, doesn’t call her names, or mistreat her, like most of the other people in her life did. in a way, she becomes addicted to the positive feeling of being treated better, and becomes dependent on mike for that. in season three, when max asks if mike is a good kisser, el replies “i don’t know. he’s my first boyfriend.” implying that she sees a future where she isn’t with mike, but with other boys/girls (?). also in season three, in the last episode, mike pretends he doesn’t remember saying “i love her” about el in the cabin when she confronts him about it. when el says she loves him too and kisses him, he literally keeps his eyes open and doesn’t kiss back or move. when el walks away he genuinely looks confused still. a lot of people say this is because he is in shock and excited that she feels the same, but when you think about it, it would make sense for him to be in shock but like... wouldn’t you think that he would at least crack a smile when she said it? and he doesn’t even kiss back or close his eyes, which surely he could’ve done even if he was in shock because if he truly loved her, it would just be natural instinct. and he could’ve smiled after she left if he was embarrassed by her seeing him be excited, but he didn’t. he still looked genuinely confused and not at all happy or excited. no. i truly believe mike had moved on from el by that time. it had been a couple of months since the battle at starcourt, and he and el weren’t even back together. he probably assumed that they would just remain friends, but then she brought up the “i love you” incident, and he was trying to deflect away from it by denying remembering what he said. finally, they were both twelve years old when they developed feelings for each other, (for the wrong reasons), and they probably both feel as though if they break up it will ruin their friendship, which neither of them want. 

that’s all for this one. i might make a part two soon, i just need to think of more points. i’d like to note that all of this is coming from a former mileven stan, so i know what it’s like to ship them. they really do have some cute scenes but when it comes down to it, they are just not a healthy couple. anyway, reblog or like if you want :)

[hopeymchope]

Magia Record: Reflecting on the Anime and the Game’s Story Ending

With Magia Record's story now complete in-game and with the anime "finished" (only the first season, but it took until literally this past weekend for the production team at Shaft to acknowledge that the second season is coming/inevitable), I have like… a ton of thoughts about where the game and the anime landed.

This will probably mostly be gripes, but overall, I'm still pretty happy with both. I've invested my past year into Magia Record during a lot of my free time, and hey – no regrets here. That game was absolutely worth the experience. The anime? Jury's still out somewhat, but it looks good so far.

This is definitely a normal thing to find surrounding a radio tower.

Anime Adaptation Thoughts:

The original Madoka Magica anime made the world feel slightly off-kilter by employing locations that were just a little off the rails from reality. The producers noted Madoka's bathroom as an important example; it's simply too large and has too much wasted space. It's maybe the biggest room in their house for no discernible reason, and that's by design, because it feels wrong. Another one was the music store we see in the first episode, where the technology is noticeably on a level that you just can't find in any real shop. On the flip side, the Magia Record anime creates a world that is deeply bizarre in many ways – much moreso than the original anime or the Magia Record game world. This is probably because the creator of the witch designs in the original was given far more creative control over the series as a whole this time around, and the result was BUGNUTS. Take note of the massive stack of discarded school desks that is arranged in a dangerous, precarious pile atop the school building (helpfully labeled as a waste pile, despite the fact that… well, who is picking up these garbage desks from the goddamn roof?). That's some imagery straight out of a witch's labyrinth, but it is ostensibly "reality." I think that's where Magia Record's anime really goes bugnuts, sometimes to powerful effect in that it makes things feel more unsettling… and sometimes to ridiculous effect. I mean, the field surrounding the radio tower now being replaced with a yard of jagged, cockeyed, towering gravestones and cross-like woodwork dangling with ropes and tridents? That's a LOT. That's… that's too much.

Look, if you were a die-hard fan of Kaede in the game, I am deeply sorry, because your girl got done DIRTY by the anime. Anyone who played the game who then sees where she winds up at the end of episode 12 is likely on a train straight to Double-You Tee Eff Station. I can't deny that it makes sense for the limited story she's given to develop across, but it was still disappointing to see. I suppose we don't really have the time to develop up all of the other characters from the game, so somebody had to sub in for this role… but oof.

Sana's backstory with her family is not nearly explained or explored enough in the show. I honestly think it comes off as confusingly unclear why they treated her like this or why they didn't notice her vanish at all. The game justifies this devastatingly well, but it feels like it's not clear at all here.

I think they could've had Kyubey run around Kamihama for part of the first season before he got ousted/blocked, and I think it would've been beneficial to do so. Now, that's not just because I love his character and find him fascinating, although that's definitely true, but it's also because there's so much exposition that I wish he could deliver to the characters about what's happened before we got here. Like, the tragic truth about Felicia's backstory is wonderfully awful, and I wish there was some way to deliver that into the anime, but I don't think it's possible without a ton of flashbacks. (And to be fair, players of the game may never know it without playing her particular Magical Girl Story.)

The change to not having Mami attack Yachiyo when they first meet was something I felt was a positive move. I loved that Mami got to have a moment she never had in the game during the Radio Tower arc, too. In generally, I enjoyed the slower, more piecemeal involvement of the original Holy Quintet, which has served as nice slow tease compared to having them be more upfront in the game. I did kind of miss the Madoka/Homura involvement in the radio tower case, but I ultimately came away feeling like it was better to save those two for later in the story because they're probably the best-known characters from the original series.

The combat soundtrack is exquisite - maybe better than ever before, honestly. The Magia Record anime has the best fight music in the series outside of, say, Rebellion.

Game's Ending Thoughts: (Spoilers Within)

The anime cutscenes in the final chapter are delightful.

Puella Magi has never shied away from having its characters die in the original anime or in the many manga stories. I'd argue that those deaths are at least part of what makes it such a successful subversion of the Magical Girl formula; the threat of death (often via witchiness) establishes the idea of there being permanent consequences that simple hope and faith and love can't overcome in spite of what those other anime may have told you. On the other hand, Magia Record turns out to have very close to zero consequences. Aside from established deaths from flashbacks that have occurred before the game even begins, by the end of the game, literally no one dies. Not even the most blatantly psychotic character is allowed to shuffle off her mortal coil; she just "disappears" and escapes. I particularly like (please note the sarcasm) how three different characters do some kind of "super-move" during the final two chapters that is said to most likely kill them, and yet they all survive them! At least ONE character winds up with some paralysis, but jeez, the others walk away completely unscathed. I can only hope the anime doesn't go quite so weak in the knees about any of the characters suffering actual consequences from the potentially-world-ending-level battles that occur.

I previously griped that I actually expected the psychos responsible for the entire storyline to get off scot-free, and although they don't get off 100% free and clear by the time the credits role, they come extremely close to doing so. However, I was really happy with the "Cherry Blossom Dreams" epilogue event, because there is dialogue in there that has the Magius admit that whatever guilt they have now, they are still capable of being complete sociopaths who want to dominate the Earth. That one person's presence (Ui) shouldn't be (and isn't) enough to keep them from being incredibly dangerous. Ultimately, the solution/punishment they receive is probably the best one available in light of their overall survival. Well done.

Speaking of the Magius, I mean… is it really possible that so many feathers never questioned that they were following a couple of 11/12-year-olds and one blatantly obvious psychotic? I guess having face time with the Magius was pretty rare, but there was still enough that some of the feathers declared their allegiance was primarily to those three above all else. And most magical girls range closer to 16 than to 11, I mean, y'know? Which is practically an eternity in terms of maturity. So I guess MIfuyu did a lot of heavy lifting on NOT making them seem like absolutely the worst possible choices for leadership, huh? (And for that reason: Mifuyu got off fucking LIGHT.)

Aaaand speaking of "one obvious psychotic," I find it funny how almost nobody knows Alina outside of her Magius role except for Karin. Because, just… it's so perfect. Karin (who is not a "Karen") happens to be the most insanely tolerant person when it comes to Alina. She seems to shrug off Alina's entire everything as amusing, forgivable quirks. Perhaps because so many people believe Karin's own obsession with Halloween is a weirdly morbid quirk, Karin doesn't even question Alina's obsession with making art about death using actual human remains. Which is… funny? No, seriously. I think it's legitimately comedic in a good way. But it should probably be much more alarming to me that she doesn't care. I'd like to think that Karen feels it's just delightfully Halloween-y for Alina to paint her canvas with legit blood, and I do believe Karin isn't really the kind of person who would ask where the blood came from because whatever, it's probably fine, better get back to planning my pageant or something. She probably even thinks Alina's skulls are plastic Halloween decorations. :P

We need to talk about Mami: Mami in "Another Story Chapter 9" felt so off and out-of-character compared to how she was written in things like Rebellion or A Different Story or Wraith Arc, and furthermore, despite that chapter being entirely about Mami wanting to just be a simple peer with no superiority over the rest of the Holy Quintet, Another Story Chapter 10 has her immediately revert back to being the smart senpai character, further cementing how weirdly "off" Chapter 9 felt. I realize they had something difficult to write, here, though. It's painful how Sayaka has to run middlewoman between Kyoko and Mami in Chapter 10 of AS. I feel like I could write a whole screed about Kyoko's behavior across the franchise and how difficult a character she is for me to like even though I "get it" and don't think she's necessarily a bad person; she's just living on the edge of being almost a total hypocrite basically ALL THE TIME. The conclusion where Kyoko acknowledges that she's going to continue to work with Mami and the others semi-regularly in spite of everything is really the best closure you can hope for with her. She's too antagonistic to give us much else, and she prefers it that way. It would take years to see her mellow.

At this point, it seems safe to assume that there isn't going to be any "season 2" of the game like what happened with Fate/Grand Order after its finale. The main narrative is well and truly done, and it's just going to be various events from here on out. Is that enough to keep me around? Um. I don't know. Probably not? Hard to say. I don't really know what other mobile game to throw my heart into. I've considered Attack on Titan Tactics, but like… Attack on Titan hasn't been kind to me lately so uhhhhh.

[reluctantly-plus-ultra]

Rei

Totally random thought here, but can we consider how absolutely crazy the LOV plot could’ve been if they’d taken in Rei? Like, total crack theory, but there are so many fun ways that could’ve been spun.

-It all just starts off with them trying to take out the new number one hero, and nobody’s really sure who mentioned that Endeavor’s wife had been hospitalized (not exactly common knowledge), but it seems like a pretty easy way to take a hostage and lure him in

-Dabi’s kinda pushing against it, but that’s not super shocking as he’s always been a pretty grey-area villain, and if any one of them are likely to have doubts about kidnapping mentally unstable women and putting them in potentially life-threatening situations, of course it’s this crispy dude

-So they take some time planning this whole thing out, and when the time comes around to actually pull it off, it works without a hitch. In and out, nobody notices a thing- particularly not Rei’s caretakers who can’t tell the difference between the real Rei Todoroki and one of Twice’s clones (which is saddening in and of itself)

-They all get back to the base and are putting on this whole evil production, trying to really play up their front and frighten their captive a little bit, but part-way through Shigaraki’s speech about how she’s going to be the bait that helps bring down Endeavor, Rei just...Cuts him off?

-Everyone’s kind of a little taken aback, because nobody does that unless they have a death wish, but here’s this frail wraith of a woman looking completely undaunted while literally tied to a chair, helpless and surrounded by villains

- And she looks their leader dead in the eye and tells him that if they’re looking to take down Enji, there are better ways of doing it 

-LITTLE DID THEY KNOW they kidnapped a literal powerbank of info on their number one target, yes, but they also kidnapped a broken woman who has a story to tell, an army of skeletons in her closet, and more than a few grudges to settle.

-And so, this is how the League of Villains become the first group to hear the truth of what went on behind closed doors in the prestigious Todoroki household, and the facts churn more than one stomach. After all, they might be villains, but for the most part they’re not total monsters, and not a single one of them present can deny that the whole situation is ten variants of fucked up.

-If Dabi had to leave for a cigarette or two when Rei started talking about her children, well, that was his own business.

-When the whole tale is said and done, it doesn’t take long for the league to come to the consensus that hell, if Rei wants to join their cause and crush her husband’s career, they’re not in any position to stop her. They were on the hunt for new recruits anyway, this is really just a win-win situation.

-Things are different with her around; Rei might be part of the cause, but she’s not a true villain like the rest of them. She sets the ground-rules pretty early on; what she doesn’t and doesn’t agree with, what she will and won’t help accomplish. None of them really argue it, because it’s not like they can truly force her to become an evil-doer, and in some ways, it’s nice having a motherly figure around and knowing she wasn’t cleaning blood off the knives in the kitchen earlier.

-And with time, she does gradually become the den mother of sorts, in an odd, peculiar way. It was to be expected, as many of the LOV lacked parental figures, and Rei had a hole in her heart where her children had been stripped. That doesn’t make it any less strange to walk in on Rei patiently braiding Toga’s hair while the teen chatters on about boys and blood like the two subjects were interchangeable, but Rei missed the opportunity to have bonding time like this with Fuyumi, and she’ll be damned if she passes it up again.

-Eventually, this compassion spreads throughout the other members of the league, though, and it’s evident in all kinds of little ways. Compress is meticulous about finding her pretty objects and flowers every time they go out, something to brighten the woman’s day, especially after years of staring at the same four walls. Twice is particularly good at finding new rom-coms for him and Rei to binge when time allows for it. She and Kurogiri know how to make everyone’s individual favourite kinds of tea (and stronger drinks as well, with the exception of Toga)

-She sews Shigaraki a pair of gauntlets that cover one finger and leave the rest of his hand exposed so he can touch things and not have to worry about destroying them, and ooh boy, emotions are high that day.

-They often give her “progress reports” about how Shouto’s doing too, tell her about how strong he’s getting and what new tricks he’s learned from whenever they encounter her son in combat situations. Nothing will ever top the time that Twice came back with three missing teeth and a broken nose, and proudly told Rei Todoroki about how well Shouto could roundhouse kick

-Is it weird to be keeping a special eye on up-and-coming heroes, and be proud when they kick your ass? Probably. Most of them don’t care though, because that’s Rei’s son, look at the little squirt go-

-Poor Todoroki becomes doubly confused when a few of the LOV visibly perk up whenever he uses his ice, which makes no fucking sense, and you can guarantee that he and Midoriya theorize the hell out of it like the true conspiracy theorists they are.

-Dabi’s relationship with Rei is oddly strained, and nobody seems to understand how the typically mild woman manages to put their sarcastic edgelord into extreme defense mode. It’s remarkable to him that none of them have made the connections between Rei’s son Touya and the fire-wielder who they see every damned day, but he can’t tell if it’s worse or better that Rei herself hasn’t seemed to pick up on it either.

-and hAWKS, DEAR LORD HAVE MERCY HAWKS

-Of course, upon doing his undercover work in the league, he’d expected to come across a few surprises, but finally convincing Dabi to let him meet the league and immediately running straight into Endeavor’s wife was not anywhere on the list. It’s something he knows he should be reporting to the Commission as soon as he’s clear, but there’s just... Something not right about how this is sitting, and it causes him to wait things out a little bit.

-And then, upon getting to know her, and finding Rei to be surprisingly sweet and kind for the people she was affiliated with, some red flags were bound to go up. Like, he was confused as hell to begin with even seeing her in the League, but seeing her there and knowing that she’s helping take down Endeavor without being a complete nutcase? Not a good sign.

-So when he too finally gets the whole story, it completely rattles the entire world he stands on. Everything he’s thought of this man he’s looked up to his whole life, everything he thought he was surefooted in putting his faith in, has been completely shattered. It’s devastating and horrible, and a really hard pill to swallow.

-But beyond that, and despite whatever airs he puts on, Hawks is one smart chickadee and it takes him all of 2.36 seconds to figure out that the brooding 20-something-year-old with a vendetta against this same man and a fire quirk too powerful for his own good is none other than Rei’s son Touya without a doubt. He doesn’t blame himself for missing it before, but knowing Dabi and knowing the whole story of what went down suddenly brings things into a whole new perspective, and it unfortunately makes a lot of sense.

-Eventually, after about a month or so and neither Dabi nor Rei seeming to make any move to reconnect, Hawks intervenes a little, pulling Rei aside to nudge her towards the struggling young man. It’s a surprise to find out that she’s known all along, has known since the day they took her from the hospital, and she first laid eyes on him. “He’s different, older,” She says with a small smile, patting the winged hero’s arm, “But I’d recognize my son anywhere.”

-Hawks chooses not to mention how Endeavor had faced Touya in person and not even come close to the same conclusion, but the knowledge of the thing still simmers in his gut.

-She says she’s waiting for him to come to her and tell her himself, but Dabi’s a stubborn little shit, so when things get a bit too overwhelming for the fire-user one night and Hawks has to bring an absolutely drunk-off-his-rocker Touya Todoroki back to the league or risk him passing out in a gutter somewhere, he takes him straight to Rei. He’s a mess, has been for the last three hours since he first broke into Hawks’ apartment just after midnight and began info-dumping his story to him then and there, scuffed knuckles and bleeding scars indicating that he’s already had some trouble earlier in the night.

-Of course, Dabi isn’t in the mood to chat and takes one look at Rei before trying to walk right back out the door. But the strain is becoming too much for Hawks too, and it’s time to lay some old demons to rest.

-It’s a little uncomfortable, being a bystander to their reunion, but Hawks can’t honestly trust that Dabi won’t flee if he’s not blocking the way and tracking him down again would be an absolute pain in the ass. So instead, he tries his best to be a mute fly on the wall as Rei approaches her rigid prodigal son, and gently raises one hand up to his cheek, using the sleeve of her sweater to carefully wipe away the blood trails.

-”I knew a boy just like you once.”

-Hawks can’t deny that his heart breaks a little as Rei tells this unmoving statue of a man about her Touya, how kind and gentle and loving he was, how he played so well with his younger siblings, and always put them first. How much she loved him, how much they all did, how she’d treasured his crayon drawings and cried in secret when he burned, and the slowly crumbling look on Dabi’s face is something he never wants to see again.

-”What happened to him?” Dabi asks, voice wavering, and it’s devastating that he’s still trying so hard to keep that mask on, to hide behind a scarred face and dyed hair like he doesn’t already know who he is, like he wasn’t admitting it all in Hawk’s living room an hour beforehand, pacing a hole through the carpet.

-“Nothing that was his fault,” Rei answers quietly, finally letting the unshed tears roll down her cheeks, even as she smiles, “I’m just glad to see he’s still alive.”

-It takes half a second for both of them to be embracing in a crumpled heap on the floor of the warehouse, and damn it, even Hawks is crying when he hears Dabi call Rei “Mom” for the first time in twelve fucking years, both of them sobbing, though the tears aren’t all sad. There’s a relieved look on Rei’s face as she combs through Dabi’s hair soothingly, saying his name over and over again until it finally doesn’t feel strange to associate it with the broken man Hawks has come to know.

-Things are better from then on. Explaining this revelation to the rest of the league the next morning was… Something, but Dabi’s smiles come easier after that night, and Hawks is learning to appreciate how simple it can be to make him laugh. There’s a light in his eyes that wasn’t there before, and while Hawks knows he shouldn’t be making these kinds of promises, not with the orders he’s under, he swears he won’t let it flicker out again. Damned hero instincts and all that.

Honestly, I have a lot more ideas to run with this prompt, but I don’t want to make this unbearably long- let me know if y’all are interested in a part two!

[doof-doofblog]

"Will You Marry Me?"

Tuesday 8th December 2020

Hello again folks! I'm back with another blog post following this week's drama. I wanted to do a blog yesterday but with the news of Dame Barbara Windsor's passing, it felt only right that I wrote a blog about her instead. However, I'm now back to review on this weeks episodes, there is so much to talk about.

There seemed to be a lot happening, the police are still searching high and low for Ian's attacker. There are about 4 or 5 main things I want to mention. Firstly, Tina - After not being able to sleep the night before, her day only gets worse by getting arrested for suspicion of attempted murder. As she's being arrested, she calls out her innocence to Shirley and Kathy. As being put into the police car, Kathy sees from across the Square and runs over to question why she did it, as she thought they were friends, why would Tina attempt to ruin their friendship by attacking her son?! While she's at the police station giving her statement, she informs them that she and Ian did have an altercation, but it was at the Beale household and not the pub. But the interesting thing she then happens to mention, that possibly the only person who would be able to give her alibi would be a pizza boy. She explains that when she returned to Gray's house, she was in the house alone, but a pizza boy called but he was delivering to the wrong house. If Tina or the police would be able to find this unknown pizza boy, that would potentially put a stop to her being a suspect. Personally, I don't think Tina was Ian's attacker, as a viewer I completely believe her story, it sounds reasonable, I believe she was no where near the Vic, yes she and Ian did have a row and a bit of punch up at the house, but Ian was alive and breathing when she left the household. I feel I can simply scratch Tina off the suspect list, it wasn't her.

The second thing I'd like to mention is Stuart. On the Square, he watches as Tina is arrested, but you can clearly see the fear in his eyes. I do feel he's hiding something, but what? What was he burning at the allotment? Blood-stained clothing maybe?! We know since Ian's attack, Rainie has gone missing. Stuart is completely worried sick about his wife. Where on Earth could she have gone? Stuart almost desperately seeking help, approaches Callum and informs him that he's going out of his mind as he can't get in touch with his wife. I feel for Stuart and Rainie, right now. I really do. Do I think that he or Rainie attacked Ian? Honestly, I do think Rainie is a person of interest - as the way she must be feeling, emotionally and mentally - initially, blaming Ian for ruining their chances of having a baby. She's basically grieving for the child that she may never have, and grief makes people do things without thinking. What if that grief turned to anger and she felt she just had to lash out to that one person who lost her the one thing she's always longed for. It's most definitely a motive. We saw her walking speedily through the Square on the night of the attack, what if she had left the Vic and was briskly walking to make her escape - what if she's gone on the run. She has gone missing and it would make sense, I think. Until we know where Rainie disappeared to, I feel she could be the one who attacked Ian.

Thirdly, after Stuart approaches Callum for asking help of finding his wife, interestingly he drops the bomb that Ben could've been the who attacked Ian. Of course, Callum is quick to defend his boyfriend. But I guess you could say that Stuart is doing the same thing for Rainie, they both want their partners to be the innocent party. Later on in the episode, it's clear that what Stuart said to Callum is playing on his mind. Ben is at home when Callum comes home and instantly he wants to know why Ben has been avoiding him over the past 2 days. Since Ian's attack, Callum informs Ben that he hasn't responded to any of his calls or texts and he keeps leaving the room when Callum walks in. Ben claims that he's had a lot on his mind as his brother has just been attacked, which is understandable. But deep down, Callum can't help but wonder whether his boyfriend had something to do with it, he asks him out straight. But Ben denies his involvement in the attack, he acknowledges that he was raging with his brother after finding out that he was the one who grassed him up to the police, he admits he wanted to hurt his brother, but never acted upon it. But however we did see Ben leaving the pub on the night in question, so the big question is - What was he doing there? Maybe having a confrontation with Ian? I do think that Ben could also be a suspect, until we know for sure what he was doing in the pub. I think he could also be the one who attacked Ian. Interestingly, before Callum even speaks to Stuart or Ben, his first visit is to question the Panesar family. He appears to be asking Suki of her movements of the night of Ian's attack. She informs Callum that she was at Ruby's club the whole night, but when she left and walked past the pub, she reveals she saw nothing and no one. However, was she at the pub whilst Kheerat went to the pub and help his Mum plan an attack on Ian? Who knows? Suki and Kheerat are both looking pretty shifty, even if he states that he was at a business meeting. I'm unsure about these two, what about you guys? Do you have an opinion on Suki and Kheerat?!

Fourth, the return of Kat and Kush. After a couple of days on the run, they return to the Square to grab a few belongings and finally get their money they're owed from Phil. Whilst Kat goes off to visit Phil, Kush looks after the children. Phil is alone in the house, it looks as if he's getting himself ready to go court regarding his divorce with Sharon. He's stunned to see Kat walk into his house, regardless of there being police dotted about the Square. Kat demands that enough is enough and he pays them their share of the money, Phil finally sees to reason and hands over a wad of cash from his safe, it's enough to get them away from the Square and start a new life. Meanwhile, back at the Slater household, Kush is looking after the children, after catching them unwrapping Arthur's birthday presents, he decides to give Tommy a very important job. Unfortunately we're not too sure what that job may be? Look after everybody maybe? As later on in the episode, we see Kush is hovering around the police station, as discreetly as possible. From a distance he sees Jack and calls him over, Jack is surprised to see him. Kush asks if he voluntarily gives himself up to the police, could there be a chance that he'll be released on bail? His only concern is being able to see his son, Arthur for his birthday and for Christmas. Jack urges Kush to do the right thing, and if he gives himself up, they might be able to sort something out for him. I'm surprised that Kush actually chose to go to the police, this may ruin Kat's plan of starting a new life together with the children in France. She's going to be devastated when she finds out what Kush has done! I do hope that he will be let off on bail and will be able to see Arthur.

Finally, during the police search, Bobby and Peter are at home. Bobby seems to be reliving the moment he found the blood on the living room floor, he feels as if he's slowly going back to the night Lucy passed away. He explains to his brother that he can't bare going back to the dark place he once was. Peter tries his absolute best to console his young brother, but suddenly the police turn up at the household, informing them and Kathy that they want to search the house, as due to Tina's statement, there could be traces of blood at the house. The brothers look surprised, however with Bobby scrubbing the blood he found, could he done for tampering with evidence? Or because he cleaned the blood, could the police look to him and question why he was so frantic to get rid of his Father's blood? Whilst all this is happening at home, Ian is lying in his hospital bed with Sharon sat by his side. He's convinced himself that due to the pain he's feeling, this will be the end for him, he claims he has nothing now his sons hate him. Sharon tries her absolute best to console her friend and inform him that what he's saying is absolute nonsense. She tells him that the boys do love him and would be lost without their Dad, but Ian can't seem to believe the words she's saying. As she leaves him to get some rest, Ash approaches Ian and he wants to know exactly what's happening to him, he wants to know whether he'll pull through or not - it's then that Ash informs him that CT scan showed that he has a bleed on the brain, which will be the cause of his head pains. However, they do need to do some more tests to see whether there's any lasting damage. This seems to really distraught Ian, he knows that it's not looking good. When Sharon finally returns, he informs her that he wants to make sure that she's looked after and provided for, he speaks about their friendship they've had through-out the years and how they've always been there for each other. Sharon states that her friend is talking stupid but he seems completely and utterly convinced that this will be the end for him. He then informs her that deep down, he has always loved her, regardless of her not feeling the same way about him. He states that he's going to give her the full ownership of the Vic and - here's the big bombshell, he wants to make sure that she and Albie are looked after and provided for, with that he asks the big question and asks for her hand in marriage!

I am a little surprised, but I can kind of understand why he'd ask her that. BUT can I just mention, is he allowed to marry Sharon? Did he ever properly divorce Jane? I simply cannot remember, can you guys?! Even though Jane hasn't been in the soap for a couple of years now, but did she and Ian ever have a divorce? Maybe it was done off-screen or something?! Something is telling me that Sharon is just as surprised as us. I'm really intrigued to find out what happens next! There appears to be so many twists and turns in this current storyline, some people are acting shifty and yet some are claiming their innocence. What do you guys think? Do you have a hunch as to who Ian's attacker could be? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please feel free to leave me a comment or a message, leaving your thoughts and opinions, I'll always write back! Thanks again everyone! xXx

[nastybuckybarnes]

A Broken Fairytale  -  Five

Pairing: Prince!Bucky x Reader AU

Summary: Sold by your mother, you work as a servant for the King and Queen of Acadia. The Prince, much to his initial dismay, takes a liking to you. When a wicked woman intervenes, your life is nothing more than a prison sentence. With a war on the horizon and a betrothal to a missing Princess that he can’t escape, Bucky is forced to be the Prince -and King- that his father wants. A pawn in a bigger game than the two of you realize.

Warnings: Language (Maybe), Fluff, minor character death, lil angst

Word Count: 3.4K

A/N: okay boys. It’s been five months. Omg im so sorry!!

SERIES MASTERLIST MASTERLIST edited poorly but oh well :)

~*~

“Do you know who (Y/n) is?”

Brock looks at the woman then scoffs. “Yeah, new servant girl. Decent enough. Why?”

The woman walks towards the Knight. “I want her gone. She’s been nothing but a thorn in my side since the day I got her. Get rid of her.” Brock raises his eyebrows, “What like, kill her?”

The woman groans and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Ideally, yes, I’d like her dead. But if you haven’t the stomach for that, then get her out of the picture in a different way. Kidnap her, ship her away, lock her up. I really don’t care. But my sister almost saw her daughter tonight. All these years of hard work… could’ve been wasted.”

Brock looks at the woman for a moment then shrugs, “what’s in it for me?” He asks. The woman smiles a yellow-toothed smile and pulls something from her pocket.

“This is what’s in it for you.” She drops a heavy coin purse into his hand and he smiles, opening it and inspecting the pieces of silver and gold in the light of the full moon.

“You want her gone? She’s gone.”

As he turns to leave, the woman grabs his shoulder.

“I want her gone before the new moon. And I’ll need proof. Or else it’ll be you being hunted. I’m a wicked woman and I always get my way.” She lets him go and he scoffs, brushing off his shoulder and shaking off the slight fear he feels.

“Like I said,” he turns on his heel to leave the property, “she’s gone.”

The woman smiles wickedly, content with herself and the way she’s taken care of her problem.

~

“(Y/n)! Hurry up! We won’t make it to Ben’s before sundown if you don’t move your be-hind!” Wanda calls, sending you a playful smirk as you finish paying for some flowers.

“Alright! I’m on my way!” She giggles as you catch up to her, linking her arm through yours.

“So, I saw Prince James leaving our room the other night. What was that about?” You sigh and shake your head. “He wanted something that couldn’t be.”

She purses her lips and nods, “well I hate to be a bearer of potentially bad news, but he’s joining his cousin and my brother today.” You glance over your shoulder, stomach tightening as you see the dark-haired prince. His eyes are already on you, a guilty look in them and a shy smile on his face.

“Come on. We’re almost there. You can pout and sulk later.” You elbow Wanda in the ribs gently but follow her towards the bakery.

A hand is suddenly on your wrist, gripping it tightly but not tight enough to hurt.

“Ladies. A lovely day we have, isn’t it?” You look up at the prince then over at Wanda. “Yes. Indeed it is a beautiful day, Prince James. I am... surprised that you joined us.” He smiles softly and nods. “I figured it would do me some good to spend time with the people who keep my Palace in one piece.” She smiles then looks down at her feet.

The silence is awkward and tense, and you want to run straight at the horses trotting past.

“Well, I’d better go see how much money Pietro has wasted. I want to give Ben a gift of some sort. He’s always so kind to us.” You make a mental note to get her back as she leaves you alone with the Prince. “(Y/n)... I’d like to apologize for my actions the other night. They were inappropriate and uncalled for, and you deserve better. That’s no way for a prince to behave and no way for a potential suitor to behave. I’m offering you my deepest and sincerest apologies.” You’re surprised, and you’re sure your face displays that clear as day. “Um... you’re forgiven, your Highness. Although I am still curious as to why you wish to court me.” He shrugs, running a hand through his hair. “I find everything you do... mystical. You are different than the other maidens in the country, and you’re gentle. I think that’s what drew me in first. You’re gentle despite what you grew up with. And before you go defend Lady Griffon, know that Steve informed me of her actions.” You don’t look up, almost ashamed of yourself for what she did.

“You’re strong. And smart. And I wish to know you better.” You find yourself smiling, despite your earlier hesitation.

“Well... I suppose there’s no harm in just speaking to you, is there?” He smiles triumphantly and shakes his head. “No, there isn’t. Now, I want to know anything and everything about yourself.”

Steve watches with a smile as you and Bucky talk and laugh together without a care in the world.

However, Steve’s not the only one watching.

From a few feet back, a set of grey eyes stare at the pair, almost taking notes of their behaviour.

A plan formulates in the mind of the staring man, a disgusting and dangerous plan, but a plan that will get him recognized and filthy rich.

~

“Why do you buy such strange things?” The prince asks, having insisted upon holding your few items.

“I pick the carts that have the least amount of people near them. Those are the people who need the money the most.” He’s absolutely awestruck by your response, falling harder for you by the second.

“And every time we go see Ben, I try and leave some coins in a discreet place for him to find later. I’m not sure if it works, but I know he seems happier every time I see him.”

“How? How are you the kindest person in the kingdom?” You giggle softly and shake your head, handing him a piece of banana bread.

“I’m not. However, I know what it’s like to be mistreated. And I’d never wish that upon anyone. No one deserves to be treated badly.” He frowns, looking at you in confusion, “even those who mistreated you? Do they not deserve to be punished?”

You sigh and shrug, “that’s not for me to decide. If punishment is what is meant to happen to them, then it will happen in due time.” He’s silent for a moment, pondering your words while chewing the baked good.

You’ve given him a lot to think about during your conversations, and he couldn’t be more grateful.

“So there is no part of you that holds resentment towards the people who’ve treated you poorly?” He asks after a few moments of silence. You shake your head and sigh, “what good would it do now? There’s really no point in hating people whom I may never see again.” The back of his hand brushes against yours as you walk and you can’t help but smile softly.

“You shall never cease to amaze me. Every time you speak I find myself even more entranced than before.” You look down and shake your head, ignoring the way your heart races at his statement.

“You’re far too kind, your highness.” He shakes his head, fingers snaking around yours for a moment.

“Please, no more formalities. I wish to know you for you and you to know me for me. That is... if that’s what you’d like.” You stop walking to look up into his nervous but oh so beautiful blue eyes.

“I’d love nothing more, James.” He smiles brightly, so brightly you’d think he’s looking at the creator of all good in the world.

“Very well, what do you want to know?” He asks nervously, his fingers taping nervous patterns against his palm. You smile and gently take his hand in yours.

“I’d like to know about the real James Barnes. Not the prince. Can you tell me about that?” He nods with a smile.

“I can.”

~

“So... you and Prince James seem to be getting closer with each passing day,” Wanda remarks when you, her, and May are getting ready for bed.

You roll your eyes playfully and shake your head. “We are simply learning about each other. I figured it would be rude to deny the Prince of anything he wants.” May raises her eyebrows.

“Is that why you’re sneaking out of our chambers and walking through the gardens with him nearly every night?” You whip around to stare at her and May who are staring at you with identical smirks.

“Y-you noticed that?” She giggles and nods. “Of course! It’s the talk of the Palace. Only good talk though, I promise.” You sigh then smile widely. “Wanda he’s wonderful. He’s sweet and caring and so charming. He gave me his cloak to wear last night because I was cold. And he kisses my hand and he whispers the sweetest nothings into my ear.”

May smiles at you, a knowing look in her eyes. “You fancy him.” You shrug, smiling bashfully. You turn away from her, your eyes catching on something in the sky.

“Is that... smoke?” You ask softly, walking to the window and peering out. Sure enough, one of the larger houses in the village is on fire.

Just as you’re turning to ask May and Wanda where it’s coming from, the door bursts open and Peter runs in, panting hard with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Peter! What’s wrong?” May asks, jumping off her bed and gathering her nephew in her arms.

“I-I tried to s-save him!” You step forward and frown, placing your hand gently on his shoulder.

May gently rocks him side to side, trying to calm him down.

“Slow down Peter,” Wanda says, “start from the beginning.” He shakes his head then swallows hard. “There was a f-fire. At the bakery. U-Uncle Ben... h-he’s... I couldn’t...” He hiccups a sob and May gasps, arms dropping away from her Nephew to cover her face.

“No. Please dear lord no.” You take Peter by the elbow and guide him towards you, pulling him into a tight hug when he starts sobbing again.

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, stroking his hair as he cries against your shoulder. You blink back tears of your own as Wanda coaxes May to sit back down, shushing the sobbing woman.

“B-but he's gone... h-he’s g-g-gone!” You hug him tighter and kiss the crown of his head. The four of you sit in partial silence for a while, May sobbing softly against Wanda while Peter gradually stops crying.

“It’s not fair,” he whispers. You nod, sighing heavily. “I know. And it’ll be hard. But I don’t think Ben would want you to be so... distraught over his passing.” He coughs a sob and clings to you.

Sighing, you wrap your arms around him and start humming.

When his sobs become less intense, you start singing softly to him.

“Hush now my Storeen Close your eyes and sleep Waltzing the waves Diving the deep Stars are shining bright The wind is on the rise Whispering words of long lost lullabies.”

Wanda helps May to bed, gently brushing her hair as you sing the lullaby to them.

“Oh won't you come with me Where the moon is made of gold And in the morning sun, We'll be sailing Oh won't you come with me Where the ocean meets the sky And as the clouds roll by We'll sing the song of the sea.”

~*~

You sing and hum to Peter for the next few hours, ignoring the way your eyelids grow heavy.

When he’s finally asleep the moon is high in the sky and the village is dark, the fire having been put out long ago.

“I’m going to go make some tea and maybe start on May’s tasks for tomorrow,” you whisper to Wanda as you pass her. May is sleeping restlessly, tears still dripping down her cheeks.

“Oh (Y/n). You don’t need to do that.” You wave off her protests and start down the stairs, the lullaby stuck in your head.

You hum it to yourself as you heat up some water and clean up the kitchen, trying to get ahead for her schedule tomorrow.

You’re so focused on cleaning that you forget about the tea entirely. More important, perhaps, is the fact that you don’t notice the man watching you. Well, until you crash right into him.

His arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you up against his chest. “Careful,” he murmurs.

You stare up into his eyes, your lips parting for a moment before you push away from him slightly.

You offer him a shy smile before resuming cleaning.

“I heard about what happened,” he whispers, walking over to you and stopping you from continuing.

“Poor May and Peter,” you whisper, closing your eyes and trying to block out the memories of the two of them sobbing.

“If there is anything I can do to help you, please tell me.” You shake your head and offer him a tight smile. “I’m alright. I just want to get ahead in May’s chores for tomorrow.” He stops you again, taking your hand in his.

“You always focus on everyone else. Never yourself. I want to help you with anything you may need. Because I care about you. And I know you might just be trying to make me happy by allowing me to court you but... I do truly and deeply care about you.”

You take a deep breath and look over at him. “That’s the thing, I truly care about you too. I... I find that the feelings I have for you... they’re terrifying. I know that the product of these feelings will be nothing but pain.” He turns you to face him, waiting for you to look up at him.

“(Y/n). Please look at me.” You don’t, far too ashamed of your feelings and embarrassed at admitting them out loud.

“(Y/n).” The way he says your name almost makes you look up. Almost.

He cups your cheeks and bends down a bit, looking up into your eyes. “What’s wrong, doll?” He asks, gently wiping a tear off of your cheek. You sniffle and wet your lips before speaking.

“I’m scared. Of... of this being a hoax. Some kind of terrible joke. I’m so scared.” You squeeze your eyes shut, expecting a laugh or a reprimand. Instead, slightly chapped lips are pressed against your forehead.

“I understand. I really do. I’m scared too. But I’m willing to face the consequences if it means I can be with you. Even if it’s only for a short period of time. You’re worth it. So worth it to me, (Y/n).” You look up into his eyes and cover his hands with your own.

“Do you really mean that?” He smiles and rests his forehead against yours, his eyelids dropping. “I do, (Y/n). I know it won’t be easy because we won't be able to tell anyone, but I’d really like to at least try this with you. And if you really don’t like it... don’t like me, I’ll leave you alone.” You nod once, your own eyes falling closed. He breathes a sigh of relief against your mouth before carefully slotting his lips against yours.

You rest your hands on his wrists and lean into the kiss, your lips moving in sync with his. One of his hands trails down to your waist and squeezes gently. He pulls you slightly and you stumble forwards, desperate to keep your lips connected.

He continues backwards then spins you around and pushes you against the wall. Your hands find their way into his hair and you smile against his lips, gasping for air when the two of you finally part.

“Please don’t push me away again,” he whispers, his breath fanning out across your lips.

“I won’t. But... can you kiss me again? Please?” He chuckles lightly and captures your lips in a searing kiss. His right-hand moves from your waist to your thigh, pulling it up until you hook it around his waist. Grabbing your waist with both hands, he hoists you up while pressing you harder into the wall.

Your other leg instinctively wraps around his waist, your work dress hiking up around your middle. You wrap your arms around his neck and buck your hips, gasping slightly as he grinds against you.

He takes advantage of your open mouth and slides his tongue inside. The feeling is foreign, however not unpleasant, and you find yourself absolutely melting into it.

A soft moan leaves your mouth, the sound going straight to the growing tent in his pants. He grinds against you again and you whimper. Grabbing fistfuls of his hair, you tug hard, satisfaction and warmth filling you as he groans against your mouth.

He takes your bottom lip between his teeth and gently nibbles it as you catch your breath.

“Please,” you whisper, your mind not fully aware of what you’re asking for. The Prince, however, seems to know exactly what you want and attacks your mouth with more kisses while his hands start exploring your body over your dress.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” You rip your lips away from his, hitting your head against the wall in the process.

“What the Hell, Steve!” The choice of language the man between your legs uses makes you raise your eyebrows. You take a look over his shoulder then immediately regret it.

Steve stands in the doorway of the kitchen, Wanda, Sam, Nat, Pietro, and Clint all with him.

You press your forehead against James’ chest and catch your breath while trying to muster up the courage to look at your friends.

James takes a half step back, holding your waist tightly as you place your feet back on the ground.

“What do you need?” His voice is rough and deep while his eyes are soft and gentle, gazing at you.

“Wanda was worried because (Y/n) was down here all ‘alone’. I guess she had nothing to worry about, huh?” Sam asks with a grin.

“Y-you guys won’t say anything to anyone... right?” Your voice is a nervous squeak and, upon realizing that you’re genuinely nervous, their eyes soften.

“Of course we won’t. But if you guys choose to pursue something, perhaps you should do it in a more private setting,” Steve says, a gentle smile on his face. You cast your eyes down and bring your hands in front of you, rubbing your thumb on your palm to distract yourself from the embarrassment you feel.

“Peter was waking up when I left. We should get back to him soon,” Wanda says, successfully breaking the awkward silence. You nod, looking up at Bucky for a moment.

“Go on. I’ll... I’ll find time to see you. I will.” You nod again, leaning your head back a bit as he leans down. His lips meet yours in a gentle kiss, different than the ones you shared a few moments prior.

Someone clears their throat and the two of you break apart. “I should... I should go,” you whisper. He rubs your cheek gently with the pad of his thumb and nods. “Yeah. I guess so.”

Shuffling behind you interrupts the moment and you glance over to the source.

“Peter,” you whisper, hurrying over to him. “It’s okay, Peter. I’m here now.”

He hugs you tightly and sniffles, “C-can you sing me the lullaby again please?” You nod and gently comb your fingers through his hair as you start singing, walking him slowly up the stairs.

“Oh won't you come with me Where the moon is made of gold And in the morning sun We'll be sailing”

Your voice trails off as you walk Peter away from the kitchen and upstairs to your room.

Wanda and Pietro follow quickly after, leaving Bucky to face all of his friends.

“You do realize you’re supposed to marry someone who isn’t (Y/n), right?” Natasha asks bluntly.

Bucky shoots her a glare but otherwise ignores the question, walking out of the kitchen without another word.

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Best of 2019

What a year. By the time 2019 ended, I had seen over 130 new movies. It's actually probably closer to 150 but I lost count. There are a few titles I missed, such as The Dead Don’t Die, The Fanatic and Honeyland so obviously, this is not an all-encompassing, definitive list of 2019’s best, but it should give you a good idea of which films you need to check out if you haven’t already.

I usually like to save the #10 spot on my list for a movie that’s just for me. Normally, this would mean a giant monster movie, an off-beat creation nobody else saw, a comic book movie that spoke to my particular tastes or maybe a Canadian movie I know didn’t get the opportunity to shine like it should’ve. This year, that’s not happening. Trimming my list down to 10 was hard enough. I certainly wasn’t going to sacrifice one more to make it just 9. Let's dig in.

10. The Farewell

It’s been weeks since The Farewell and I’m still thinking about it. If I was put in the same position as Billi, I'm not sure what I'd do? Is it better to tell someone that's dying that their days are numbered, or should you spare them from that burden? Is it really them you’d be sparing, or is keeping the secret for your own selfish needs? Writer/director Lulu Wang asks serious questions about culture I had never contemplated before. There’s a lot for you here and even more if your family comes from mixed backgrounds.

9. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I heard some complaints about Fred Rogers (Tom Hanks) not being the main character of this film by Marielle Heller, from writers Micah Fitzerman-Blue and Noah Harpster. It was the right choice. The plot has a cyical reporter meet Rogers and through their relatively brief interaction, learn what we knew going in. It delivers a moving character arc without having to stain its subject with flaws we didn't want to see. The quasi-meta presentation is what elevates it into top-10 status. That extra touch means it does a lot more than simply re-iterate what we saw in the 2018 documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor?.

8. Knives Out

Knives Out is one of the most entertaining films all year. There are no profound moments of meditation, no earth-shattering realizations about yourself, just a mystery to be solved. All the suspects are so intriguing they could be the stars of their own movies. Put together in the same house as a dead body and you’ve got no idea who did it. Its screenplay is excellent. The twists are juicy. Everything ads up in a satisfying manner. Rian Johnson is already working on a sequel. I can’t wait.

7. Apollo 11

There are few holdovers from the list I made halfway through the year, which either says something about the strength of the second half of 2019, or the weakness of the first. Either way, you’ve got to see Apollo 11. It’s the closest thing to going back in time and being there when man landed on the moon. The tension and anticipation are overwhelming. Knowing what happened doesn't matter. The way the footage is assembled is nothing short of incredible. Why this documentary wasn't present at the Academy Awards is beyond me.

6. Uncut Gems

Adam Sandler should’ve been nominated for an Oscar. He wasn’t. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts it's because of his association with all of those brain-dead Happy Madison Production comedies. His history with cinema shouldn't matter. The movie is what matters. The fact is, this was the perfect role for him. It isn’t even that Sandler’s doing something different, it’s that he’s being used to his full potential. If you weren’t glued to the screen, eager to see what’s coming next, this movie would have you jumping out of the window screaming - anything to escape the anxiety the Safdie Brothers serve up with devilish grins.

5. The Lighthouse

Next on my list is The Lighthouse. Right away, the aspect ratio and black-and-white cinematography lets you know you’re in for something different. You have no idea. What I love so much about this film is the way it handles madness. At the end of the day, I’m not sure if I could tell you if Robert Pattinson’s character was crazy, if Willem Dafoe’s character was the nutty one, or if they both were. It shows you just enough to make you doubt your own sanity. It’s also unexpectedly funny, which makes it feel oddly genuine. In one scene, Robert Pattinson's Ephraim Winslow gets a hold of the lighthouse's logs. In it, his boss, Thomas (Willem Dafoe) recommends Ephraim be disciplined for masturbating excessively. Considering Thomas has been cavorting with some kind of tentacle creature up in the lighthouse (at least that's what I think I saw, I'm not so sure anymore), all you can do is laugh. What kind of loony bin is this turning into? One I'm looking forward to revisiting.

4. 1917

Shot in a way that makes it all look like one take, 1917 is a technical marvel. It hooks itself up to your circular system and steadily replaces your blood with pure, undistilled stress. As you're about to flatline, it stops and gives you a breather. A shot of a meadow untouched by the ravages of war; a reminder of what the soldiers are fighting for and of how utterly devastating armed combat is on humanity as a whole. Gorgeous cinematography, powerful emotions, magnificent production values.

3. Joker

Along with Godzilla: King of the Monsters (a movie they basically made for me), this was my most anticipated movie of the year. To get ready, I watched Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy, two Scorsese films Joker director Todd Phillips drew a lot of inspiration from. For some reason, it seems as though many critics took offense to the similarities. Sometimes I understand differing opinions from mine. This time, I don’t. It’s a great film that warns of the dangers of letting people like Arthur Fleck (brilliantly performed by Joaquin Phoenix) fall through the cracks. Left unchecked, he discovers that by doing terrible things, he becomes a “better” version of himself. It’s not a drama. It’s a horror movie that spins the familiar Batman archenemy in a new direction but also stays true to the character. There are several scenes in this movie that are going to be permanently imprinted in my brain. Those stairs. Need I say more?

Runner-ups

Avengers: Endgame

Even if every single Marvel movie going forward is awful, this caps off the whopping 22-chapter saga epically. A couple of aspects bugged me enough that it could only manage to make the runner-up list but it's a terrific film.

Booksmart

The funniest comedy of the year. I think back to Amy and Molly using their hairs as masks and still can't manage to hold back a few chuckles months later.

Toy Story 4

This one was hard to cut. The only flaw I could find was that it isn’t on the same level as 3… even though they’re both 5-star movies.

Midsommar

I’ve heard the extended cut is even better than the original. I wish I’d had the chance to see it in theatres.

Jojo Rabbit

Audacious and heartfelt. I loved those scenes of Scarlett Johanson being a mom. Her agent might've dropped the ball getting her cast in Ghost in the Shell but she sure knew how to pick great work in 2019.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino brings us back to a time when Roman Polanski was simply a good director instead of a convicted rapist, movie stars were untouchable, and the death of someone’s wife under mysterious circumstances was nothing to raise eyebrows about. It’s not a movie that screams “here and now”. If anything, it’s regressive. That said, I cannot deny the experience I had watching it. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing and I doubt even Tarantino could pull it off again. I wonder how many people went in knowing what happened to Sharon Tate like I did.

Marriage story

It’s nothing but raw emotion and powerhouse performances in this drama about two people you love going through a divorce. I always make it my goal to watch movies all the way through without any interruptions. Several times throughout, I was tempted to hit "Pause" so I could catch my breath.

Internet lists are everywhere. You know why, don’t you? They suck you in and when you get down to it, most don’t require all that much effort to put together. Except when I make them, apparently. These bi-annual lists always turn out to be difficult to put together. 2019's proved particularly arduous. I’m fairly sure that my #3 movie belongs there. Out of all the movies on this list, it’s probably the one I’m going to go back to most often. The other two? I’d say that technically, one may be better than the other but I think the other one is “more important” so that gives it the edge. What I’m trying to say is, they’re all winners and on a different day, I might even swap them around.

2. Little Women

I have only seen three of the seven silver screen adaptations of Louisa May Alcott’s novel and I don’t expect any of the others to top this one. The secret ingredient to this one's success is Greta Gerwig. Writing and directing, she does so much more than merely translate the classic to movie form. She re-arranges the story to give the events a greater punch than they would if they were shown chronologically and puts a little more emphasis on a couple of key moments (that tear-jerking Christmas, for example) to crank up the emotion. She also makes it more modern without having to change anything about the setting or characters. Admittedly, the back-and-forth between the past and present is a little jarring at first - makes you wonder what Greta Gerwig could’ve done had she been given the de-aging budget Martin Scorsese was given - but that’s where the performances and costumes come in. It takes mere moments before you get what the movie is doing. I’ve said it already but it made me cry.

1. Parasite

To make this list, I didn’t go through all of my past reviews and check which ones were rated what. I thought back to which movies gave me the most vivid memories, which ones gave me the biggest reactions. I’m still not sure how I feel about the final final moment but there’s so much about Parasite that I admire. This would be a great one to watch with others just to see their reactions to the reveal about the bookcase.

[mysterylover123]

BNHA Rewatch Episode 21 “Battle On Challengers”

mysterylover123

Now let’s get through all the Beta matches in a single swoop. 

Kaminari vs Shiozaki! This starts the trend this episode of male participants either underestimating girls and getting their butt kicked, or fighting all out against them and winning. Setup for a certain famous scene in the next ep maybe?

Kamui Woods is impressed. (Please tell me Ibara interns with him!)

Izuku is muttering and taking notes. I love how his muttering just hits Bakugou in the side of the head and annoys everyone and creeps out Uraraka even a little. 

Deku reveals he’s been stalking Uraraka too. She fangirls over him for a minute, which would be charming if it didn’t remind me of future developments I find irritating. 

Iida vs Hatsume! I love the crap out of this fight. One of my favorite minor Sports Fest matchups. The way in which Hatsume completely subverts everything we think we’re gonna get from this match, turns it into an exhibition match for her items...it’s so perfect. 

Seeing them banter a bit kinda makes me ship Iida/Hatsume, since there is a lot of fun to be had with their contrasting personalities...

Only to be reminded of the One True Iida ship again. An interesting change from the manga here: Manga! Deku notices right away that Uraraka left her drink behind. Anime! Deku doesn’t until two matches later.

Mina vs Aoyama! Like before, the guy underestimating the girl gets him floored. (Iida underestimated Hatsume’s deviousness and it humiliated him; Kaminari underestimated Shiozaki and was instantly beaten). Aoyama assumes he’s more powerful, and drastically underestimates Mina. Hence she wins!

Now the devastating matchup of Momo vs Tokoyami. Basically, this works on 2 levels: One, in the pattern of not underestimating an opponent based on gender. Tokoyami and Bakugou don’t, and they win. 

Two, as a part of Momo’s character arc: Prior to this, Momo has always been the best of the best, the cream of the crop; excepting the Obstacle race, where Mineta slowed her down anyway, she came in first in everything. And this gave her a bit of an ego, and a slightly condescending attitude towards those not as smart as her. But this loss, and its subsequent consequences, humble her (too much, initially) and force her to confront her own flaws. Failure is, after all, the way in which we succeed.

Now to Iida and Uraraka in the prep room! I find them very shippable in this scene, because...well, it’s actually kinda rare to see Uraraka being open, and vulnerable, with anyone besides her parents, and later on her teachers. Around most of her peers, she just tries to keep up this veneer of being happy, chill and confident all the time, and usually avoids vulnerability or admitting to fear. But here, in this room with Iida, she admits to it. She’s scared. 

Here comes Deku to crash the party. I talked about Deku’s motives in this scene during my rather exhausive analysis of Izuocha, and I think Deku wants badly to pay Uraraka back for all the times she’s helped him (one of his core motivations in general). But she turns him down, denying him the chance to support her on even grounds the way she supports him. I think this bothers him a little - he’s noticeably less close to her after this arc ends. 

I have complicated feelings about this choice of Uraraka’s too. First time around, I was absolutely floored by this twist. I was rolling my eyes at her jealousy over Mei, her behavior this ep, and convinced the show was going for a potential romance arc, which I found a little irritating. But then this happened, and Uraraka turned into a surprising character, full of more depth and self-awareness than I expected. I think this was the point where I officially gave up on trying to predict the series, deciding that Horikoshi would just surprise me at every turn.

In hindsight, I think she could’ve still accepted some advice from Deku. After all, Midoriya accepted advice from Ojiro before he fought Shinso. It’s ok - hell, admirable - to learn as much about your opponent as you can. Still, Uraraka’s decision here bugs me a bit from a Romance-with-Deku angle, since she shuts him out of the role of supporter in her life and tries to go it alone, because - as she reveals in the next ep - of her desire to be just like him. Combined with how she frames her choice in the Cavalry battle here as a negative, and I have trouble viewing their relationship in a positive romantic light. It feels like the series is framing Uraraka’s feelings for Midoriya as a bad thing (I’ll touch on this again later) and making her lose herself in her desire to be like him. Which I find worrying from a romance POV. 

Uraraka describing them as “all being rivals” is another interesting “what a twist” moment to me, because its a good way to describe the early part of the series. Everyone is fighting everyone. Things are a little chummier now, and I’ll cop to missing that atmosphere of antagonism a little. (If I may get into some shipping positivity tho, I like how she mentions Iida challenging Deku as something that inspired her.) 

As our two contestants face each other in the ring, preparing for battle, we end on another brutal cliffhanger. 

I like this episode, but it does mostly feel like the waiting rom in between interesting parts. Like the stuff you have to get through to get to the big guns. I do love how it builds into the next ep, though. Every fight is mixed gender (cept Kiri vs Tetsu) and the ep lays out a clear thesis about not underestimating girls. Uraraka’s gonna win it on her own and the buildup to Ep22 is really great. 

BKDK CORNER:

Some progress. Bakugou doesn’t tell him to shut up here. He must be fairly used to Deku’s muttering by now. He’s the only one in the crowd it doesn’t phase. 

“I don’t think Bakugou would give his explosive all against a female opponent.” “No, he would....no one’s holding back here, Kacchan least of all.” Deku knows his Kacchan. (And respects the crap out of him for this tendency, despite how mean it is.) 

 BEST GIRL OF THE EPISODE: Yui Kodai 

For more info on her: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cUHGKLWgfY 

RANKER: Best Sports Fest Matches

5. Iida vs Todoroki 

4. Deku vs Shinso  

3. Todoroki vs Bakugou

2. Uraraka vs Bakugou 

1. Midoriya vs Todoroki