#really packed a punch -- in an 'I'm so touched' kind of way

[daesungindistress]

Hi, me again, a long-time fan, especially of the Carnivores series. I saw you took down Carnivores. I understand why, but I would like to share my thoughts. Please hear me out.

Unlike some of the other stories you took down, Carnivores is all about Daesung. To me, it is about Daesung’s temperament, resilience, and all the little things cute and lovable about him. It is about how he copes with the world around him. It is not about that person at all. How can that very minor, irrelevant part of story, or person, take away something so beautiful. This, sadly, kind of already happened in the real world. I just hope it won’t repeat again here, or ever.

You and many of us probably gave that person too much credit. Do you find him remotely interesting enough to be really worth your time and struggle? Is that person worth you throwing away all the hard work and talent you put into Carnivores? Carnivores seems special to you, like it is to me, and he is not worth it. The world is a complex jungle, we can never overcome all the evil, but at least we can celebrate the light that we found.

Something more practical. In most chapters, except for Bright Like the Sun, that person didn’t really play much of a role. As far as I remember, he didn’t even show up in New Heights, Laying Claim, First of Many. These chapters also feel like they can stand alone. It is a tricky for my favorite chapter Dreams Like Ashes Float, but it is so beautiful that I just want to chop out that person's part. Or perhaps change the name? Just some ideas, not even suggestions. I am just sad that Carnivores is now gone for something so irrelevant and forgettable.

Anyway, if taking down Carnivores brings you peace of mind, please know that I respect and support your decision. I remember you were very happy and tremendously creative when you first came to this fandom. I hope you can get back to that good place, even if BigBang or even Daesung is not there. Just know that your work has inspired and is deeply appreciated by some fans.

Hi, wow, thank you 🥹

I quietly took down the Carnivores series in about October of last year, around the time I realized TOP's moon scene in Still Life was set in the future, not the past, and the music video was BIGBANG's way of telling us they were going to be apart awhile longer as they go their separate ways and pursue solo projects. I decided I should do the same -- focus on projects -- and turned my attention once again to Carnivores.

First of all, I took the series down for reasons only partly related to the former member. You're right; for the most part, his role in the story is relatively insignificant, with a few exceptions, the biggest being Bright Like the Sun, which, uh, is filled with a whole slew of problematic messaging given the state of BIGBANG today -- most notably the Seungri rescue scene toward the end (after a landslide, stuck in the mud under a crumbling bluff) and Daesung's insistence on not leaving him behind. Carnivores goes hard on the theme of family, of a "found" family -- in this case, a found family of five. Because a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away...) that was my absolute favorite thing in this fandom. As it is now, I'm deeply uncomfortable with promoting that subject matter using the names and likenesses of the BIGBANG members, even in my past work.

I'm sorry you're sad about Carnivores being gone. I thought a few people might be when/if they found out, and I still feel a twinge of guilt over snatching it away from the few people who liked it. But my reasons for taking it private aren't all bad or sad. Not to me, anyway. I'm not ready to share in too much detail because it's still in the extreme early stages, but the plain truth is I took Carnivores down because I have plans for the series. Non-fanfiction plans. I want to turn it into original fiction with the goal of publishing it.

But before that... I need to rewrite the whole thing. Overhaul it all. No one will be removed from the story; everyone's names will be changed. Well, they already have been. After some brain retraining (lol) and a brief adjustment period, I don't even think of the guys in terms of their BIGBANG names anymore; I now think, talk, and write about them using their new names. Someone once said to me (once upon a time) that as much as the characters reflect their inspirations (the members), they have lives of their own. Though it's taken some time, in the years since I concluded the series in 2018 (and in a way, the hiatus helped with this) I feel I've finally managed to unlink them from their inspirations. While preserving their personalities, of course, and holding tightly to everything I came to love about them while developing and telling their story all those years ago. They're still familiar and dear to me, and I still want them to be known... just in a new and improved way. And to a wider audience.

On the one hand, I'm really excited about it. On the other, I'm a little overwhelmed. I spent a few weeks in the fall reading through the series slowly and critically, returning to it in a way I hadn't since its initial run in 2016-2018, and I thought, "Well, it's a start." I didn't hate it, but it was so much worse than I remembered haha. Yet, at the same time, it was neat to see my growth as an author from beginning to end, and by the time I reached Innocence and Instinct, there really wasn't much I felt required major revisions. All in all, what I used to view as a finished product I now see as a first draft. To take what I have, 300 thousand words in 8 parts, and reshape it to fit my new vision will be no small task!

You're correct in sensing that Carnivores is special to me. It always has been and I'm sure always will be. Unlike those other stories I took down, removing it from my list of fics is like gutting my body of work. Yes, the events of 2019 did dampen my fond feelings for it. But I've since found a way to love it again, and to even breathe new life into it. It's set to undergo so much change (expansion and enrichment) I didn't want it "out there" anymore in its original form, where anyone can access it and see what it used to be. And I needed to disconnect it from BIGBANG, preferably long before it reaches the publishing stage. If I can be successful with this, I think it will all be worth it.

[theealbatross]

a habit to kick, an age old curse (s.s)

Plot | They're no longer friends unfortunately they're still soulmates.

or, you and Sebastian are now strangers but at your most vulnerable moment he picks up the pieces. Only he knows. Only he can.

Tags | angst, heartbreak, when you're too depressed to confess, sebastian and the bad bitch he pulled by being stupid, sebastian is an academic weapon if he wants to, mentions of fire torture, murder (self-defense), trauma, emotional cheating (if u squint), slight fluff as a treat, panic attack, PTSD, Anne is dead, 3k-ish of angst

[A/N: Stream 'i love you, i'm sorry' by gracie for full immersion.]

Quidditch Season was important for every student in Hogwarts but it was the after-parties that everyone was truly looking forward to, house pride aside. 

Which is what exactly Garreth had been barred from. “I can’t believe I wasn’t given an invitation just cause I’m friends with you! I’m not even a Slytherin! And I make the best punches!”

Sebastian rolled his eyes, sighing. Even he didn’t think those pesky Ravenclaws would take their competition this seriously. It all started when he had finally decided to become an auror, after a peaceful, distraction-free year and careful deliberations from each of his professors, he was given the informal encouragement that he was one of the few students who had the potential to become a trainee to such a prestigious program. With his ever-growing physique and indisputable intellect, it would simply be a question of effort.

He just needed to be at the top of all the classes required of him. This was the tragic news for all those Ravenclaw dreams – once Sebastian had his sights on it, it was as good as his.

He hadn’t expected that their ire of him extended to his friends. Even refusing to invite them to the first party of the year that the Ravenclaw had won against the Hufflepuffs. Sebastian had half the mind to join his own House’s quidditch team even with his packed schedule just so he could wipe the floor with them. It would be worth never sleeping again.

“What do you want me to do Gar –”

“Here.”

A piece of paper hung from above him, the hand it was hanging from was connected to a face he hadn’t seen this closely in a long, long time. Even the whisper of her name in his mouth felt foreign – a tragic circumstance when a lifetime ago she had been a kindred soul.

Before he could say anything else, Garreth had already snatched the paper from in-between his eyes. “Is this – Really?!”

“The password for today’s party, try to sneak in when the ‘guards’ are smashed,” she grinned at the redhead. Then, Sebastian felt a cold blade slice through his chest (a hand suspiciously touching the spot just to check) when she looked back down at him again. “For old time’s sake.”

It took him a moment too long to realize she was talking to him too. But his tongue felt heavy and stuck, the metaphorical rug under his feet getting pulled out when he least expected it.

He nodded.

“See you around.”

He stared as she waltzes gracefully from the bustling crowd, getting roped into a hug by her boyfriend, William Frey, the bloody captain of the Ravenclaws. When he had heard about it, he couldn’t quite point out why he hated his smug, pretty face but then, using his blessed brain he got his bitter answer: they were too damn perfect together.

He was everything she deserved.

Smart, popular, kind, and comes from a good family that will be able to support her in whatever endeavors she might be up to in the future.

Not an orphaned criminal who couldn’t even save her sister.

The state of their friendship – or lack thereof – was pitiful but he knew it was for the better. Without each other in the way she can be loved by all those around her – something he has never been able to offer with his murky history that left a rubble of a man. And without her he can forget about his failures and mistakes, distract himself with as much schoolwork as he can cram in his head and never remember the times he sacrificed their friendship for his own gain only to lose it all anyways.

If he doesn’t see her then he can forget – he failed and his twin sister is dead.

A brilliant witch with a brilliant future didn’t deserve to be associated with failures.

“That was tense,” William whispered in your ears as he led you towards the courtyard. “A friend of yours?”

A flash of the lives you’ve lived with the Slytherin flashed before your eyes. Friends, what a lowly name.

You faked a smile, fighting every urge in your body to look back.

“A long time ago.”

The party was loud, no doubt the quidditch players were milking any taste of victory they have before they deal with whoever wins between the Slytherins and Gryffindor’s next week.

The music was loud, nearly pounding through the silencing charms in the walls of the common room. William at the thick in all of it, celebrating with his teammates, not forgetting to wave at you in your seat with that charming smile that usually makes you swoon.

However, it was the charmed fireworks all over the ceiling that had your heart exploding out of your chest. Flashes of nightmares at every pop.

The dark forest, the ruined castle, the ropes in your stretched out hands as Rookwoods men threw all sort of fiery spells at you as target practice.

You pinched your eyes shut, shaking your head, trying to focus on breathing.

When you were starting to get dizzy you knew it wasn’t working. You tried to push through the crowd, reach your boyfriend somehow and at least let him know what was going on but it was impossible. It was the peak of the party when everyone was too drunk to do anything but drink more and dance more. With a shuddering breath, you instead skirted around the crowd and escaped narrowly through the doors of the Ravenclaw common room.

Not even bothering with a disillusionment spell, knowing damn well all the prefects would be in the party, you ran to the nearest floo to travel to your common room.

However, even the silence and comfort of the top of the common room wasn’t enough to ground you as you stumbled straight down the cold tiles, a yelp escaping your mouth from the sting of your skin.

“Someone there?”

That voice, distant but familiar. Painfully familiar. Your eyes continue to blur as your breath hastened, your limbs too weak, and the cold floor too damn comfortable for your overheating body.

“Are you alright?” He’s closer now, at the bottom of the stairs.

No, no, no.

In your desperation, you swallowed your pride. Forgetting in the moment how humiliated you will be to be seen by the last person in your house you wanted to show this side of you.

He would take care of you.

He always takes care of you.

“Sebastian,” you could barely croak out in between your gasps. Silence followed and you whimpered, crawling down to the edge of the top of the stairs when you heard fast footsteps ascending and there he was.

“Fucking hell, what happened to you?!”

Before you could try to say anything else you were already carried in his arms, Sebastian’s panic at seeing someone that was always so shiny and untouchable on a daily basis gasping and writhing in their common room floor was something he had not prepared himself to see tonight.

He thought the worst would be drunk seniors he would have to haul up their rooms not his … not you.

Carefully, he placed you on the nearest couch, your grip in his arms painful but welcome as it grounded him and prevented him from rattling when he saw your pale face covered with sweat and tears.

“Pet, you gotta help me here, what’s going on?! What do you need?!”

His eyes plotted your face, firm hands frantically running across your body to check for any stain of blood or hints of the source of your pain. It was agonizingly intimate, especially with the knowledge of how much this has happened in the past – one of you writhing in pain, the other doing their darndest to fix it.

A shot of pain pierced your chest when you suddenly breathed in, making you cry out and crawl into his arms.

Your calming medicine – it was in your bedside table. However, it was no use, like blood was not reaching your brain and all you know to do is to just hold on to Sebastian.

“Fuck!”

In a blink, your face was buried in Sebastian’s neck, the entirety of your curled up body tightly held together by him as he sat you in his lap, arms wrapped protectively around your body. “Breathe with me,” he whispers, taking deep slow puffs and caressing your hair. “That’s it, deep breathes. Follow me, darling. Enough with your crying now, listen to my voice.”

In. Out. The clean scent of the common room, faint sweet smell of his favorite tea.

In. Out. The sweat on his skin, the cologne he had worn since the first day you met him.

In. Out. Old books, fresh parchment, thick ink, and the throbbing aroma of the Amortentia you brewed last week.

“Hey,” you could feel the sweat start to cool your skin, his rough hand worked on your cheeks as he continued to cradle you in his arms. His body relaxing with yours until you could take up air on your own. “What hap –”

“What in Merlin’s … did you do this?”

You stared up in wonder, the two of you surrounded by a large bubble, the ones you usually see when you throw a Protego, except this one continued to enclose you. Now that your panic has passed you realize you can’t hear anything else but … the sound of water?

He looked shy, rubbing the back of his neck as he settled you back on the couch. It was only then you realized that you had been in his lap this entire time. You hoped the dim light of the common room hid the embarrassment in your face.  “It’s … something I’ve made. Helps me sleep at night. What you’re hearing is the sounds under the Black Lake. I’m gonna write a paper on it for Ronen, should get me a couple of points.”

Ah, his valiant academic conflict with the Ravenclaws did not escape even you. They’re going to fucking curse him in their sleep when they realize he was a lap ahead of his competition.

Now that your vision wasn’t doubling you could faintly see a golden string that connected from the bubble, straight through the tall glass window of the common room. “Sebastian, this is brilliant.”

A flare of nervousness lodged in your chest when Sebastian suddenly looked at you– the gaze that let you know that he could see right through you. He always saw right through you – you’d grown to hate it.

“We don’t have to talk about it.”

He was a gentleman – always had been. It could be the fact that he had (has? is it too soon?) a sister that he was so well-versed in the heart of a lady. But aside from that – Sebastian, at some point in time, was someone who knew the most. And the gods’ honest truth is you never could hide a secret from him.

It could be the alcohol in your system or the buried instinctive nature to tell him everything back when the two of you spent late nights in the Room of Requirement and talked about everything being unearthed but you felt like being honest. Even if the boy beside you had grown into a stranger.

“I’m … remember when I got kidnapped by … and you …”

And you saved me.

Again. Always.

He was there, charging headfirst, ignoring Professor Fig’s warnings and Ominis’ pleas to wait for the Aurors in Hogsmeade. When he arrived, he saw the burn marks, bruises, and wounds all over your body and just saw red … and left red. 

“The Rookwood incident?”

By the time back up had arrived the two of you were slumped on each other and surrounded by corpses, eyes blank and suspicious, desperately holding on to each other.

“The Rookwood incident,” you nodded. “What I didn’t tell you is that before you had arrived, they had been … they tied me and threw fire spells at me, that’s where I got my wounds. I never told you because –”

He was too angry. And you were too terrified of pushing your closest friend to the darkness he had been tethering on. Not that it mattered, he fell right to that cliff on his own.

“I’m sorry.”

Your eyes widened, hands shaking in front of you. “No, Seb, it’s not like tha –”

“I know you were trying to protect me. You always were,” he shook his head, now it was him who couldn’t look at you. “How many scars did I give you?”

“I healed just fine –”

“Then let me rephrase my question, “ This time, the look in his eyes terrified you. The intensity, the guilt – it was so palpable you almost want to cup his face the way you used to, to ease his cruel burden. “How many of these nightmares have I cursed you with?”

Your silence made his bitter smile grow. You don’t have to say it because he (always) knows – the worst nightmares were the ones with him in it.

“Does … does he know about it?”

You nodded, “He does. William tried to help, sent me to the best mind doctors last summer but … I’m just so tired. I’m tired of the tests, the probing in my brain – he means well, I know he does but there’s nothing those strangers can tell me that I don’t already know.”

With an understanding expression on his face, the two of you sat in silence, staring at the large windows hovering over the two of you as the deep quiet of the lake echoed in the fragile haven he had conjured up. If you close your eyes, if you forget about everything else, you could almost trick you mind that these was one of those good times.

That you’d turn and find him buried in between towers of books you had borrowed from the library and Ominis would be sleeping against the wall of the Undercroft. And then you’d catch his eyes and he would smile – a silent message between two people who didn’t need to speak to communicate – and the silence would stretch, just like this, but you would be together again.

“I could teach you.”

You raised an eyebrow and despite himself he chuckled. He didn’t have the best history with teaching you spells, after all. “This charm, I mean.”

How many cures has been shoved in your throat? How many disappointments you hid in lies that, yes the Calming Elixir cures me of such flaws. Did you need any more help? Would it fix you this time?

“It won’t fix anything but it might ..” he shrugged. “… make tomorrow easier.”

You’re terrified of him, you realize. How can someone know you so deeply without ever even realizing it? Does he know? The power he has over you? How you would’ve burned your life to the ground if he had asked for it?

Ask, you wanted to scream. Ask. Ask. Ask.

“Alright,” He seemed surprised, you smiled at the face he made. “Couldn’t hurt.”

For all his nonchalance it was a complicated charm to cast. “No, it has to be more than half a circle when you swish it –”

This was familiar. A bit more awkward and with a lot more strain but it was familiar – if all had gone well this would have been just an unremarkable day in your life. You can’t help but wonder if your burden would be lighter if he was the one helping you carry it.

You swallowed your thoughts back down, no sense in dreaming of different realities now. Because this was your life and the worst thing that could possibly happen did happen. So, you’ll take all that you can get – even if it’s just one last night pretending everything didn’t slip out of your hands.

“No, here, let me guide you,” When Sebastian was in his ‘professor mode’ as you and Ominis used to tease him for, he gets so focused on teaching that he doesn’t notice anything else, doesn’t even notice your gasp as he wrapped an arm around your back, grasping the hand with your wand and helping you trace the shape needed to cast the spell. “And the word is ‘Salus.”

Salus. Safety. Salvation.

That’s who he was. Your Sebastian. “Salus.”

On cue, a bubble surrounded the two of you once again, the white noise of the castle replaced by the deep lake’s groans. “Perfect.”

Despite the time you spend learning all sorts of complicated magic, it never takes away the quick flutter of your chest in excitement at every spell you master. “I did it!” You turned to be Sebastian but he was already looking at you.

You’ve always told him if you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought Sebastian was the true heir of Slytherin. He just fits here – in the dim lights, and emerald furniture, and the coldness that emphasizes just how warm he is. “… beautiful.”

“What?” He was staring, his hooded gaze, the freckles you had always wanted to trace into constellations, the part on his lips that teases your skin with his breath.

“Your technique is beautiful.” He’s lying, you don’t catch it. Suddenly, your half-pinned hair fell apart, Sebastian having pulled away the clip holding it away from your face. “Now, lay down.”

His arms were gentle and firm as they guided you to lay across the wide couch, Sebastian having scooted down to sit on the floor, face in front of yours. He’s so close. “Sleep.”

You hope he knows, that if your sleep remains dreamless tonight and if your tomorrow is easier, it’s not because of his painfully complicated spell. Your eyes waver, the edges of your sight dimming and blurring. You feel a touch on your cheek, you try to chase it. The last thing you see is his deep brown eyes and the soft smile that had been the biggest curse he had unknowingly laid on you.

He has to know, right?

You have to tell him.

Sebastian, I’ve always – I still – I never stop –

“Hey, wake up.”

Your eyes split open, another ghost of your past in front of you. “Ominis?”

The noise slowly trickled as you became more aware, eyes shifting to you, some out of curiosity why you picked the couch as a resting place instead of your bedroom a few feet away or some that saw you in the party that held some pity, probably thinking you’re suffering the worst hangover of your life.

“William Frey is looking for you by the door,” he muttered sharply. It’s been a while since you and Ominis interacted, his tattered friendship with Sebastian extending to your own as the boy’s most loyal comrade in his pursuit of destruction. You know he lays a blame you and for that you couldn’t blame him. “Honestly, I had thought you had grown out of your foolish habit of sleeping everywhere.”

“I-I’m … sorry?”

He shook his head before turning to leave.

Had … had everything been a dream?

You looked around suspiciously, for what you weren’t quite sure. A sign? A pillow out of place that could be evidence that last night happened?

It wasn’t mere delusion, you were sure. The knowledge of the spell in your head evidence enough of the small moment you shared with an old friend last night but it would be nice to have some sort of proof. A tangible confirmation that you could keep with you as you return to your reality.

With a sigh you let your disappointment fester for a second longer, locking last night in the deepest part of your heart, one that can only be unearthed once again in your loneliest nights.

A practiced smile cements on your face, turning to the chair one last time to allow yourself one more moment of hesitation before going up the stairs.

Back to the beautiful boy who will only see the beautiful parts of you and leaving the one who gets the honor of keeping the shadows.

Inside the boy’s dormitory Sebastian stares at the stolen emerald clip on his bedside table.

[theclaravoyant]

fireworks - bucktommy (T, ~1000wd)

AN ~ now taking prompts! because i can't help myself . in the meantime please enjoy this little hurtcomfort, inspired by the prompts "late night conversations/anxiety" for upcoming @evanbuckleyweek <3 (I couldn't wait that long!)

also on AO3.

-

Can't make it tonight babe :( Not feeling so hot.

Buck is running late, but not so late that he doesn't have time to stop by on his way to the Grant-Nash gathering for a little bit of boyfriending. Tommy had sadly had to pull out of this one, but not to worry, Buck has brought over his favourite meatball sub in case he's feeling like a pick me up.. and a bottle of ginger ale in case he's not.

Either way, as he approaches the front door Buck is surprised to hear music so loud – albeit muffled – that the bass in it shakes the windows.

“Tommy?”

He frowns. He, for one, isn't one to blast his workout mix when he's stuck in bed, or bent over a toilet bowl, or whatever other nastiness supposedly awaits him. The lights are off inside.

Brought dinner, he taps into his phone. All good?

He bounces on the balls of his feet.

Babe, let me in x

There's no response, not even those little bouncing dots. Buck is definitely not thinking about Tommy passed out on the living room floor or kidnapped or something. But he does pull up Athena's number before he reaches for the spare key. Just in case.

“Babe!” he calls, looking around. The house is dark. This still feels like something he shouldn't really be doing. “Tommy!”

He follows the sound toward the basement stairs, where light is coming through. From down below, he hears the grunts and slaps of rigorous exercise... or something else, and it dawns on him that well, he and Tommy haven't technically agreed, haven't really discussed, if they're exclusive or anything and he might be intruding on something and that little voice in the back of his head that tells him nobody's ever all in is getting so loud... He freezes at the bottom of the stairs, just before he can turn the corner and see something. What the hell is he doing. How fast can he back track without Tommy noticing that he's being jealous and weird and-

The music stops.

Well. Here goes.

-

“Evan?”

Tommy can't help it, his face lights up at the sight of him. Which is weird, because Evan looks sort of mortified. Probably because Tommy had bailed on something important to him under the guise of being sick and here he is, very much not throwing up or hiding from the light or anything, slicked with so much sweat his hair has dropped a few shades in colour.

“Tommy. Y- You're feeling better?”

“You brought a sandwich?”

“Botticelli's.”

Damn it. Tommy throws his head back, closes his eyes as a pang of guilt punches through him. The kid went and brought his favourite sandwich. He just wants to make sure he's okay. Damn it, damn it.

“I can explain.”

“Is this because you're not ready to meet Athena? 'Cause she can give one hell of a shovel talk but she's cool, really.”

“I've met Athena,” Tommy assures him. In spite of himself, a smile touches his lips, because that was kind of a significant part of this whole thing. “Evan – I promise, this has nothing to do with us.”

It seems to help a little bit. At least, enough that Evan trails after him into the basement proper while he paces and takes a swig of water and tries to wrangle the courage to say it.

“The fourth of July is just... not my thing,” he manages. “I don't really like fireworks.”

He looks Evan in the eyes as he puts it together. Maybe he knows Eddie doesn't either, maybe he knows it's a common trigger for veterans, maybe he just knows what it's like to try and pack the depths of unspeakable horror into words. Especially when you're meant to be a badass fearless firefighter.

“I'm sorry,” Evan says. The fear and confusion and anguish melts away, his expression painfully earnest and concerned as he closes the distance between them. Part of Tommy wants to bury his face, to freeze like a rabbit or run and hide, but something about Evan, as always, makes him stay.

“I'm sorry,” he breathes. “I didn't mean to lie. I'm just … used to dealing with this by myself. And you- you're so- I mean, you died? You actually, for real died in a thunder storm and you got in a helicopter to fly into a hurricane like it was nothing. I guess I worried you wouldn't get it.”

Evan cups a hand around the back of his neck and it's grounding, it's nice, and Tommy's forehead falls forward against Evan's. He takes a ragged breath. Evan's phone starts ringing.

“You don't have to tell me,” Evan says, “what you've been through. But I'm here for you, okay? If you want me.” He glances at his phone and adds- “It's Maddie. Just checking where I'm at. Want me to tell them I'm not coming?”

Tommy shakes his head. “No. Go. I'll be alright here, have a night in. My boyfriend brought me my favourite sandwich."

-

He smiles. Buck smiles back, and presses forward a gentle, comforting kiss before they part. Tommy shakes it off as he heads back toward the stairs, but there's a long stretch of silence. The muffled whistle and echoing boom of an airbomb sails overhead and he can hear Tommy's breath quietly catch and it's almost as if it pulls out the words from his chest.

“I can't remember the lightning.”

“Hm?”

He turns back. Tommy is watching after him.

“I can't remember the lightning, Tommy. That's probably why I can fly into a hurricane. It's- actually it's pineapple jello for me. It was all I could eat for weeks after they took the tubes out. Pineapple jello and vanilla icecream. The first time I smelt a piña colada after I got out, I thought I was going to die.”

I get it.

Tommy nods. After a beat, he adds-

“And hey, Evan. This is something I kind of like to keep to myself. So if anyone asks-”

“Violent gastro. Got it.”

He rolls his eyes, and huffs, and smiles as he tucks the little foam earplug back in place.

“I love you, too.”

[luveline]

Oh my gosh Zombie!steve holds a special place in my heart. Please write more for this Drabble series

thank you for reading!! steve zombie!au —you and steve reunite after a morning apart. 1k, fem!reader

Steve's sitting by the fire unawares when you drape the spare blanket over his shoulders. His hair, wet from a quick scrub in the stream, has soaked the collar of his shirt. The blanket is a welcome warmth, your doting moreso. 

He puts his makeshift bookmark between the pages of his book and follows your face as you sit with him. The apocalypse and subsequent lack of movies has turned him into a bookworm through necessity. He worries about things too much if he has nothing to do, and lately that's always the case. 

"Hello," you say, crossing your legs. Your knee bumps into his. "Sorry. Hey. What chapter are you on?" 

He flips the pages until he finds the chapter header. "Chapter twenty five." 

"You're getting quick," you say. 

It's weird to him that after so many confessions, days spent in one another's arms, nights laying between each other's thighs, you still hesitate sometimes before touching him. You know how much he loves you, and you waver. 

"We could start reading them together again."

"I go too fast." Your eyes widen in recognition. "But you're quicker now." 

He doesn't mind missing the last few lines of each page if it means you'll lean your head against his arm for a couple of hours every night. Your breath warms his collarbones. Your cheek soft and smushed to his rigid shoulder. 

"Way quicker." 

He thinks you're beautiful. It might be hurtful to say you aren't everyone's type, and it's not that he felt he had to warm to you before you became his type or anything, but you have something about you that he loves. Maybe it's purely the way you smile at him, that silly devotion poorly smothered (that he hopes you'd find reflected by him), or maybe it's your eyes. Maybe it's the way you speak to him, half the time like you're worried he won't talk back, and the other half like you're the same person thinking all the same things. He's hungry for every thought you have. 

Beautiful, and he loves you. Steve couldn't be more sure about it, and everyday it gets worse. He wonders if it'll ever stop, or if one day he's going to wake up next to you and choke on air, astounded by the chances of it all. How did you manage to find him? What luck was it of his to get to keep you despite his bad behaviour? He knows he was never as kind as he should've been to start with.

He looks at you and he thinks, Fuck, she's pretty. 

Steve tosses his book down into the packed dirt and just stares at you. You look back unabashed for a handful of seconds he savours. 

"Do I have something on my face?" you ask. 

"No," he murmurs. "You're just beautiful." 

Your eyebrows thread together at the starts, a wrinkle creasing the skin between them. You don't believe him, your lips puckering into a small frown.

"Why do you say stuff like that?" you ask. 

"I really, really think it's true. That's why. I can't not look at you without thinking about it. Even when we're dirty and starving and smell like hot garbage," he says, shrugging gently. "You're beautiful." 

"You've been reading too many romance books."

"I get that it sounds weird," he says. "Doesn't make it less true. You're beautiful." 

"That's enough," you say with a grin. "Stop. If Eddie hears you saying that he'll make fun of you forever." 

Steve gives you a fake shove. "Sorry, I'm confessing my love and the first thing you bring up is my arch nemesis?" 

You wince though he's only kidding, more than aware of his Eddie Munson related jealousy. You both talk about everything without punches pulled these days, and you've assured him he's the only one for you, but he'd quite like to hear it again. 

"Sorry, that's my bad," you say, shuffling closer to him. You put your arm behind his back and kiss his shoulder, warmth unfurling from the contact despite the shirt and blanket between it. "I think you're handsome, too, but you know that. Beside the fact that I'd never really been naked in front of someone before, those early days were torture for me 'cus I thought you were, like, the handsomest guy I went to school with." 

"Just school?" 

"No," you mumble, crossing your free arm over his stomach, nestling yourself under his arm. "Handsomest guy ever." 

He dips his head to touch his nose to the top of your head. 

"I love you," you say, scrunching his shirt in your hand. 

"Yeah, I love you, too. How was work?" 

"Bah. How was your day off?" 

Steve likes getting time off at camp, but it's pointless when you're not off with him. "Wasted. Missed you stupid, helped out with the kids at lunch anyways, spent the rest of it on that shitty book." 

"It's no good?" you ask. 

He loves your voice. It shoots through him like a spark, your genuine, lilting concern. 

"Shit. I don't think I wanna finish it."

"Skip to the end and go get a new one," you suggest. 

He closes his eyes and breathes in the smoky air of the campsite. You have this effect on him —of many— where you can quieten a hectic place. You sit down next to him and suddenly he's not sitting a ways off from the fire in the middle of the Michigan woodland, he's with you. Plain and simple. 

"I will." 

"Maybe I can help you vet some? Make sure you get one you enjoy this time. Or we can trade some of our credits for a new pack of cards. I'll teach you how to play speed."

"After you tricked me into being bad at gin rummy? Nah, you're okay." 

You force his head up as you lift your own, pinning him with your tender gaze. "You like losing. You do, you always say I have to kiss it better." 

He's a simple man. A kiss from his girl is all he needs. "Maybe we should get a pack of cards," he says smugly. 

You shake your head at him, but you're beaming. 

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fridays

Happy Friday everyone! Hope everyone is keeping safe and looking after themselves and each other in this here creative sandbox we're all playing in. I'm back again with another round of the fic I've been reading so far this month! You can find previous rec lists here.

16 August 2024

like i like my honey by @buick118 is a lovely one shot for some super sweet, romantic and caring domestic henren looking out for each other through the years! Hen's healing touch coming out in force to keep Karen looked after. This just made me feel so warm and happy, I love them and their love for each other so much! Plus the title is a Kehlani reference. YES.

when i see stars, that's all they are by @ithilien-writes was a gorgeous fill for the mixed media prompt of @summerofbuddie in which Eddie finds himself at a loose end and unwilling to go back to an empty home, so impulsively signs up to a community poetry class at the local library, makes some friends, and finds a way to channel his feelings. I really loved the slight fish out of water but giving it a go anyway vibe here, and how Eddie found putting his thoughts into words in poetic forms helped him to actualise his feelings.

an inch away from more than just friends by @littlespoonevan I absolutely adored and previously recommended part one which gave me all the romantic Eddie feels, and was eagerly anticipated part two and it did NOT disappoint!! In which Buck puts two and two together after Eddie shares a little of what he's been working through in therapy, and is determined to give Eddie the romancing he wants and deserves! The only problem is all the things Buck's doing to woo him it turns out he's kind of been doing all along. So so sweet, considerate and romantic. Beautifully written. I could just live here.

instructions on not giving up by @wildehacked this one's a hard hitter. Eddie's not coping and Buck is too worried to leave him alone, so invites him to join he and Tommy on their romantic hike getaway when disaster strikes. When the helicopter goes down after Tommy has a serious seizure, Buck and Eddie are grievously hurt and left to depend on each other to survive. Is rescue on the way? This packs an emotional punch but is well worth it for angst fans. Heed the trigger warnings! (Tommy is treated with respect but there is MCD, and suicidal ideation from Eddie.) Ow! My heart. It hurted so good?!

can't tell where you end (and i begin) by @absolutelybifurious Ravi invites the 118 out to a club, things escalate. Inspired by Ryan Guzman in Step Up (which I admit I've never seen but I HAVE seen behind the scenes rehearsal footage...hello), in which Eddie's got moves and Buck's got a problem about it. With a Lucy Donato cameo (yes thank you) and some very sultry dirty dancing. What more could you want?

the parts we play by @calinaannehart I have been absolutely loving following along with this actor!Buck au as a wip, and with just one more chapter to go now is the perfect time to start reading it! 'Buck isn’t a firefighter, he just plays one on TV, or at least that’s what he’s about to do. He’s offered the chance to shadow the 118 to learn what it’s like to be a firefighter. Eddie is fed up with these Hollywood types turning up and feigning interest in the job that he loves. Buck, however, is nothing like that and everyone can see the connection they have.' This feels really beautifully in character for an au and is expertly weaving in canon and reinterpreting it through the film star lens. So much fun to read.

PS - that's it for this week but as always, I'm on the lookout for henren centric fic, and early days Buck and Tommy (I like it best when it fits neatly into where we've left off in canon).

Feel free to self rec!

[lookatmysillies]

Post Row 1 - Himei POV

"What the fuck is this?"

The contestants were gathered in the cafeteria for breakfast. Nobody seemed interested in talking anymore. Not now that over half of the kids they grew up with were dead or missing and in danger. All was quiet until the shrill voice split through the air.

Daiki, as usual, was sitting by herself. Nobody seemed to want to sit with her, and if they tried to, she gave them a withering enough look to send them packing. When Himei threw two halves of a magazine right in the food in Daiki's tray, she looked up with arched eyebrows like this was nothing but a particularly amusing hiccup.

Himei stood before the table with clenched fists. Rarely was her expression this intense; she was always the friendly girl in Anakt Garden. Never the troublemaker.

Now the light on her collar was as red as her face as she repeated harshly, “What—the fuck—is this?”

If the cafeteria was quiet before, only filled with the sounds of utensils scraping unenthusiastically against trays, now it was dead silent.

Daiki lifted one half of the magazine from her mash with her index finger and thumb, looking over it briefly before dropping it back onto the tray.

“My exclusive interview?” she asked, unimpressed. Himei could’ve thrown something at her stupid, smug face. She knew. She knew damn well what she was referring to.

“Don’t you fucking dare play coy about this, you fucker!” Himei slammed her shaking hands against the table hard enough to rattle it, a loud bang! echoing out across the room. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nyx flinch where he sat with Tov and Lang, his expression growing increasingly wary. Guards posted at the doors were stirring. “You just had to fucking gloat, didn’t you? Gloat all about how fucking great you are because you didn’t get shot. Like you deserve to live, like he doesn’t!”

“Himei,” Daiki cut in, her expression still as infuriatingly uninterested as ever, small smile not even close to reaching her eyes. “I deserve to live because I won. He didn’t. It’s not my fault I’m more appealing to fans.”

”You’re more appealing to fans because you’re a fraud.” Tov’s voice sounded colder than Himei had heard in a long, long time. She’d come to stand next to Himei, her eyes narrowed, mouth set in a grim line. Himei felt her heart do a strange flip. Thank you. Thank you for being on my side. His side.

Daiki huffed out a short, airy laugh. “Oh, you’re part of this now? That’s ironic coming from you. You’re the star of the whole show, aren’t you? I'm sure you could easily get your own interview to repair any damage you think I did on poor Tallis’s reputation, right?"

"Don't you ever—“ Himei growled, stepping around the side of the table to stand before Daiki. Even when Daiki stood from her chair at her full height, staring Himei down, Himei didn't relent, glaring daggers up at her. "Don't you ever patronize Tallis. Don't you ever disrespect him like that. And don't you ever talk to Tov that way. She's more talented and worthy than you could ever dream to be. Your kind is going out of style. Azure is dead. Ellie is dead. Min is dead and is still a million times the person you will ever be. You will fucking lose and I won't be one bit sad when you do." She gripped the collar of Daiki's shirt to yank her down to her level, snarling, "You deserve everything you have coming."

"Hey." Nyx stepped closer to the three of them, touching Tov's arm to try and get her attention. "Himei, Tov, don't. She's not worth it. Don't do this to yourselves."

Daiki just laughed and taunted in a voice that only betrayed a hint of strain, "Do you really need someone to babysit you so badly? First Tallis, now him? Are you going to blame me when he dies, too? When she dies?" she nodded at Tov.

And Himei just...

Snapped.

With a shriek, and in a surprising show of strength, she slammed Daiki back into the table, forcing her legs to buckle so she was thrown off balance. She threw a punch that didn't quite land, a weak, unpracticed one that barely made any impact. So fucking tired of being the good one. Another punch, this one making good contact with Daiki's cheekbone and splitting the thin skin of Himei's knuckles. So fucking tired.

Hands gripped her arms and yanked her away from Daiki before she could really get going. She half-expected to turn and see Nyx dragging her away, but Nyx was too busy holding Tov back. Instead a guard jabbed a taser against her side when she tried to break free. No. She had the presence of mind to think only that. No, not this again. Please not this again.

A second shock, and the world went dark.

Himei wished solitary confinement was a blur. She wished it passed by like every other day without Tallis did, nothing but hazy, swimming thoughts and perception struggling to take on a concrete shape.

Being alone in that white, padded room with occasional bathroom and food breaks wasn’t like that.

She remembered every moment. She was awake for every moment, too paranoid by the red blink of the camera on the wall and the knowledge that she was under constant surveillance. Her collar felt like lead around her neck. She tried to scratch underneath it; wiggle her fingers in the space between the wretched thing and the skin of her neck. But there was no space between. It was practically a part of her now, it felt. Practically melded with her skin, reminding her of what she’s lost and what she will lose. Everything.

Tov watched her with soft, worried eyes as she tended to her torn knuckles. Himei had never had a physical fight before, so the skin gave way at the sudden contact with Daiki’s cheek immediately and with ease.

“They should’ve washed this before they put you in there,” Tov murmured under her breath, dark eyes refocusing on dabbing at the ugly scabs with disinfectant solution. “It could’ve gotten swollen.”

Himei smiled humorously and exhaled a weary huff through her nose. “As if they cared.”

Tov offered an equally unenthused half-smile. She wasn’t the type to fake smiles, but she tried for Himei, sometimes. She had to get better at it if she was going to last as Alien Stage’s sweetheart.

Once she was satisfied with her work, Tov threw away the cotton balls she’d been using. When she sat back down next to Himei, she ran a gentle (always gentle) hand down the sleeve of the olive green sweater Himei wore over her clothes. The neck was almost high enough to obscure some of the collar. Almost.

Himei inhaled slowly, a swell of emotions flooding her chest, dulled by fatigue and anxiety. “I was thinking you could have the… the one with the white stripes, you know? Do you want it?”

Tov nodded, lips parted in a silent sigh of relief. “I would. Very much. Thank you.”

Himei nodded, wringing her hands in her lap. Tov’s hand fell to her side.

“I could really go for a cigarette right now,” Himei muttered. “I’m all out.” Hayate had been her source, after all.

Tov arched a single perfect eyebrow at her. “You shouldn’t smoke even if you weren’t out.” She tapped her chest and added, “Don’t want to end up like me.”

Himei offered her a small, soft smile. “Not in that way. But star of the show isn’t so shabby.”

The corners of Tov’s lips curved into a frown. “I’ve already told you how I feel about that.”

“I know.” Himei reached for her hand and pulled it into her lap, squeezing it. “I know it’s not what you wanted. I’m still glad it happened. If Daiki was right about one thing—and one thing only, I’d like to add—she was right about you being this competition’s sweetheart, having a voice now.” Her fingers traced over the lines on Tov’s palm. “At least one of us finally has agency in this thing.”

Tov’s mouth hung open, but no words came out for a long moment. Then she whispered, “He deserved to have this more than anyone. He understood music. He loved it like… nobody else here knows how to.”

How hard it was, to try and love something that would either kill or destroy you.

How much worse it must’ve been for Tallis to fall into that love without a second thought.

“It can’t be him anymore.” Himei blinked the wetness from her eyes, but that only served to send more tears rushing to the surface. She thought she’d already expended every bit of energy she had on this grief, but continually, her body found something left of her to give away. “So it should be you.”

Tentatively, Tov lifted the hand that wasn’t held within Himei’s grasp to wipe a tear from the corner of Himei’s eye. “I can’t be him,” she said, her voice holding that terrible pain that Himei felt so alone in amongst all the other contestants. But not Tov. She hurt for him, too. She understood.

So Himei should’ve responded with I know. She should’ve reassured Tov that she didn’t have to be him. That all she had to do was be here and carry one end of Tallis’s memory while Himei held up the other.

But she didn’t. Maybe she didn’t feel like there was a point. She was too tired, too empty, her insides carved right out of her to leave a void that could never be filled. She was still angry, a quiet, dangerous fury that festered inside of her with that emptiness, and it was the only thing that gave her any substance at all. She was too empty for words she didn’t even know if she believed in.

So she squeezed her eyes shut to block out the noise and kissed the only person she had left in this grief.

It was different than kissing Tallis. It was softer than his thin, chapped lips, and yet harder around the edges because after everything they couldn’t help but be.

Tov didn’t push her away. It was Himei who pulled back after a few seconds and put her head in her hands.

This shouldn’t have been the first time they kissed.

It couldn’t have been any other time, either.

“Eddy!”

Eddy had barely set foot through the door and holstered their pistol when an AREPH guard ambushed them. They blinked as they were promptly ushered towards the northwest stairwell.

“You were supposed to be back an hour ago, where were you?”

“Um.” Eddy glanced behind them, searching for an explanation for the frantic atmosphere of the complex, aliens and the few humans in the facility alike swarming about in a panic. They looked back at the guard. “I was walking a patrol route to see if I’m fit for a medical release. And I am not late, I was only just called back twenty minutes a—“

“No matter! Come with me.” Which Eddy already was. “We have a special assignment for you.”

Eddy’s eyebrows scrunched up in concern, mouth twisting underneath its mask. “Is it the new guard unit?”

“What? Oh, no. This is much more important.” Down into the medical ward they went, making Eddy tense. They’d only recently been in intensive care here, and the place still felt wrong. “The patient is awake. And he’s, err, not being very easy. We thought you could take a crack at calming him.”

And in an instant, Eddy brightened. Their friend was awake? “You should have started with that! Let me see him!”

They entered through the door at the end of the hall into a darkened observation room with a one-sided glass panel covering the wall that the patient room shared. Several smaller aliens with lab gear were peering inside with grimaces as the boy inside thrashed and kicked against his binds.

When Eddy put its hand on the doorknob to enter, Yakun, a purple alien with goggles covering his one eye, gave it a nervous look. “Good luck with that.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Eddy chirped. “I’m his friend.”

The second it opened the door, the patient, evidently having wrestled out of one of his wrist ties, sent a decorative vase on the end table soaring at their head.

“Told you,” Yakun sighed as Eddy hit the deck.

Himeitov, Himei and Daiki fight, and Eddy content all in one, we cheer as we hold hands and spin in a circle

Mentioned characters: Daiki belongs to @daiki1k; Nyx belongs to @rockwgooglyeyes; Tov belongs to @ivanttakethis; Lang, Azure, Ellie, and Min belong to @pwippy, @azureitri, @bittersweet-adagio, and @starry-skiez, respectively.

[trulybetty]

Sunday | Week In Review VI

A bit of a slow week this week - nothing much really happened. Got some writing done, announced some things I'm working on and worked on my TBR list. Odd week as my notifications just disappeared and felt a little disconnected. Things seem to be back on track *fingers crossed* - so lets get on with this weeks review...

Truly Betty Updates This Week…

Strings Part V Mood Board

Salt Water Soft Launch

Autumnal Offerings

Fics I Enjoyed This Week…

How Good It Is (Benny Miller) by @wildemaven Fully on the Benny train, this scratched the itch this week with this delightfully wonderful piece of fluff with a delightful touch of spice and I can't wait to get more insights to this couple's relationship.

A Safe Haven Drabble (Joel Miller) by @darkroastjoel You don’t have to have read the series to appreciate the angst in this small little drabble that packs a punch. Explores Joel’s feelings on the impending arrival of Tommy’s child with the grief of missing Sarah and it manages to do it all in less than 600 words beautifully. 

Your Hand In Mine (Joel Miller) by @thelightsandtheroses This is a great opening to a new series and it's such a great opening premise that will have you wanting to find out what happens next and in eager anticipation of what is to come next.

Open Mic Night (Marcus Pike) by @secretelephanttattoo No denying it anymore, I’m ankle-deep in this Pike Puddle and this is an excellent example of what keeps me content with damp *ahem* feet… Are you one of those who forgot it's canon that Marcus was a part of a band? This one-shot is here to remind you with a bang!

Clouds (Joel Miller) by @softlyspector This is incredibly soft with a few hard edges - allusions to events from TLOU2, but no spoilers and no golfing. Highly recommend a read of this.

Little Monsters (Dieter Bravo) by @chronically-ghosted Dad Dieter was not the trope I thought I needed, but here we are and I can’t get enough. This is all what I picture Dieter as a father being like. This is equal parts fluff with equal parts spice which makes for a delightful read! 

For the Night (Agent Ortega) by @ladamedusoif I think the pilot hit the web for all of a couple of hours before we were blessed with this delight. As far as I am concerned this is what the pilot should have been, it’s deliciously raunchy and I may have read it several times. 

Delta Landscaping | Chapter 5 (Triple Frontier Boys) by @rhoorl I don’t know if I still have words for my thots feelings on this update to this series. So please accept this gif and go get caught up, and if you've not read it? What are you waiting for?

Spinning in the Rain (Frankie Morales) by @frenchiereading This is like the best kind of fluff, it's atmospheric, it's indulgent, it's sweet and it's Frankie - what more can you ask for? Oh, and it's based off a song that I already adored and this makes for one to go back to for re-read.

All I Need (Frankie Morales) by @frenchiereading Mel has such a way with these perfect snippets of fluff and romance that make your heart swell and this is another example of this. I can't do it justice, you just need to read it to experience it!

Exposed (Ezra) by @maggiemayhemnj This was a delightful debut and a great read that flowed just as well as Ezra's poetic prose, which Maggie manages to capture perfectly. If you are a fan of Prospect and Ezra, you will not be disappointed!

Personal Day (Marcus Pike) by @sin-djarin If I'm staying in the puddle, I'm going to make sure it's in good company with fanfics like this one! If Marcus Pike is going to ask me to come back to bed for five more minutes, who am I to deny the man?

Shared Breaths | Chapter 9 (Frankie Morales) by @frenchiereading It's a triple header here for @frenchiereading! The slow burn of the first eight chapters pays off with a bang here and, it does not disappoint! If you're late to the game like I am on this excellent story, I very much recommend jumping in because it does not disappoint!

Posts I Enjoyed This Week…

The thots were truly alive and well on this Narcos gifset. I don't think the image of this post is burned into the back of my eyelids. Also, might have prompted some non-Narcos writing somewhere in the WIP pile...

Thoughts on the contents of the Delta Landscaping Yelp page? We got you here!

@goodwithcheese's book recommendations! I'm off this week and hoping to get some reading done between parental activities.

Things I’ve Enjoyed This Week…

I got four episodes deep on Wrestlers, a Netflix original docu-series on OVW, a Wrestling farm out of Florida that was once where the WWE sent its superstars to cut their teeth before making their debut. I once upon a time was a big WWE fan, so this has been an interesting watch. I'd recommend it too even if you're not a wrestling fan as there are some interesting stories from both those who run it and those who live it.

This Week’s Song…

On a N'Sync kick this week with the rumours that they're going to be reuniting for more than just the Trolls 3 soundtrack/movie. I will be feral if the rumour of a reunion tour materializes!

Happy Sunday all! Here's to a great week ahead!

B 💕 x

[lover-girl-estxx]

Be Happy For Me

not my gif

"i'm sorry my brothers didn't come to your going away party" Nina said sitting on my bed "its fine" I said doing last minute packing "no its not I mean this wasn't just a some show to get into some fight company. its the show that could make you the first female champ for the UFC" "that doesn't make me nervous at all" I laughed "sorry its just they're assholes" "no they're just old fashion" she shrugged "you ready to fight a bunch of people for days on end?" "you have no idea I can't wait!".

| Nates POV |

what are you watching" I asked my sister and mom sitting on the couch "TUF" Nina said looking at me I slightly looked at her before going back to the TV "Nick!" "mm?" he said coming out of the kitchen "sit" my mom added he did "which episode?" "second" he nodded. She got on to Forrest Griffins team, he was always one of her favorites "what's it what training with the Diaz brothers?" one of the girls I think Chris was her name asking as they sat at the dining table she slightly smiled "its great they're both great fighter help me a lot" "they seem rude" "you seem rude" Y/n said kinda sitting up "well you know I heard through some people that they're not training you anymore after they found out you were coming here doesn't sound very kind to me does it? but low life's act that way right" she shrugged "your gonna find out what a real low life is when I beat you off this show and no one knows your name, your gonna be on my highlight reel and your not gonna have one," y/n said and smiled, I smiled looking at the screen "goodnight!" she took the last sip of her drink.

"I wanted to punch her in the face so bad but I was really tired" she giggled in her interview "I taught her to talk shit like that" I whispered.

"you want to fight?" Forrest asked Y/n "yes please" he nodded "you got it" "thank you!" she smiled. "who are you picking to fight first griffin?" Dana asked "Y/n," she stepped forward "Y/n who do you want to fight?" She pointed to Chris who stepped up Rampage put a hand between them to keep them a bit apart "make sure your hair looks good fight day cause people are gonna wanna watch me knock you out over and over" Y/n said with a smart ass smile on her face making Rampage lightly laugh.

"I'm putting my money on Y/n Y/l/n she's a black belt in BJJ, great striking cardio. She trains with some very tough fighters including season 5 TUF winner Nate Diaz! I think it's gonna be a short fight"

| Ninas POV |

Both my brothers were now on the edge of their seat, me ready to watch through my fingers "come on" Nate said and clapped his hands, Y/n went to the middle and touched gloves they were feeling each other out when Y/n landed a hard leg kick "that was good!" Nick stood up clapping his hands. she got hit good a few times till she hit the other girl with a hard right hook making the girl fall and Y/n hit her again with a hammer fist. A wide smile came to her and she ran around the cage, we all cheered and yelled Nates smile was touching his ears. Forrest picked her up, she showed her mouth guard NDA in big bold letters. "i'm very happy with the fight and the win! but um thank you to my coaches and the fighters back home that helped me leaning up to this fight" she smiled in her one on one "and Nina just cause shes great!" Y/n shrugged.

"yeah me not you two assholes" I said looking to them "thanks Nina' Nick said with tight lips.

We sat down every week and watched Y/n it was now about episode 5, it was towards the end of it when a group of the girls sat in a circle with y/n as well to play a game where they asked questions. Y/n grabbed one of the homemade cards "have you had a crush and not told anyone? Yes" she said setting the card down "you have to tell us how long ago? why didn't you tell him?" Sophia asked her "like month and a half ago" she laughed the girl likely gasped "why not tell him?" "we were friends I didn't want to ruin" "were?" "yes no more questions on top of questions" both the boys looked at each other "who is she talking about?" Nate asked "I don't know" I shrugged. It was Nate ever since we were in highschool.

Y/n 17 years old Nina 15 years old

Me and Y/n drank quite a bit me not so much Y/n and the guys wouldn't let me, "do you want water?" I asked her "no i-m fine" "okay" I slightly laughed "does Nate like me I feel like I annoy him?" "he likes you of course if he didn't he won't hang out with you" she nodded "he's really cute" she smiled "eww that's my brother" I lightly pushed her shoulder "don't tell him please he really won't want to hang out with me" "your secret is safe with me" "promise?" "promise" she smiled "hey you two" Nate said "hi" Y/ns smile grew wider "how much have you drank?" "n-not to much" Nate smiled and put his hand out for her which she took "thank you" he walked her to the friends car who was giving us a ride. He wrapped his arm around her then she laid her head on his shoulder/chest his head on top of hers.

| Y/ns POV |

I laid on my bottom bunking looking up at the top one, I was doing really good I won three fight the first one to get in the next one my KO the third by sub.I did upset me that the boys weren't watching weren't seeing me do good, Nates not sitting in front of the TV like I was for him when he was on the show. He's not gonna be in my corner when I win the title or my coming home party, when I was younger and i'd sit in my room at night and think about this what am doing they were with me.. Now when I walk in my our gym I avoid them when I used to wait for them to come in, its only been a month and a half with out them and out feels like years.

[scarletsaphire]

Phantom is hit. Bad. Really, really bad, and he can hear someone coming and it must be Maddie Fenton, here to make good on her promises to rip him molecule from molecule.

He likes the Fenton it actually is much, much more.

---

Shiptember Oblivious x Obvious Pining This one is getting another chapter I prommy I have plans. Thanks to hannahmander for helping me come up with a title!

Phantom scrambled back further into the alleyway he'd landed in, one hand propelling him backwards through the garbage and refuse left there, the other covering the rapidly bleeding hole in his side. He hadn't expected his day to go like this; everything had started so normal. Floating around Amity Park, checking in on the ghosts who still "lived" there, just hanging out and keeping out of trouble. Skulker's appearance wasn't ideal, but it was normal, expected even. It wasn't quite a friendly fight; any fights in Amity had Phantom at least somewhat annoyed, but it wasn't exactly hostile either, at least not by ghost standards. It had been easy. Simple.

The new weapon the Fenton's were using? Significantly less simple. Maybe if Phantom hadn't been distracted by Skulker, he would've gotten away unscathed. Maybe if he hadn't been favoring his left side because of a fight only a few days ago. Maybe if he didn't spend so many hours hovering just beyond the sensors of Fentonworks, hoping to see more of their cute son, they wouldn't have been able to get such a clean copy of his ecto-signature . But maybe's didn't change the fact that their new, self tracking weapon packed quite a punch, and wasn't even deterred by Jack Fenton's horrible aim.

If the weird glowing blue part that was stuck into his side was any indication, it meant that they were tracking him too. Phantom could have figured that out without the light; he'd been on the run, phasing through buildings, the ground, everything he could, and he could still hear the GAV's distinctive tire squealing chasing after him.

Whatever the ghostly equivalent of adrenaline was ran out five minutes ago. He'd kept flying for those five minutes, before the pain in his side got too strong, his stubbornness only able to carry him so far. He'd continued on foot for as long as he could. It wasn't long, barely a few more seconds. Just enough to get into this alley. Now his side was screaming, burning in pain, and his vision was blurry and his nose was filled with the acrid smell of trash and he couldn't move, but he could still hear the pounding of footsteps running towards him. Phantom closed his eyes. He didn't want his last moments in this or any world to be staring down the barrel of a gun.

The footsteps grew closer. There was only one set, and they were light. Graceful. Maddie, then. Phantom must not warrant both of them. She got closer, moving slower now that she wasn't chasing after him. He could hear the faint pinging of some kind of device. Maybe the tracker? Either way, it was loud, maybe louder than it should've been. Was it because of a headache? It might've been. Phantom had lost a lot of ectoplasm. It'd probably be weirder if he didn't have some kind of headache.

"Oh shit." That wasn't Maddie's voice. That wasn't even a girl's voice. So who...? "Phantom, can you hear me? I'm going to need to touch you, so if you could uh. Not send an ectoblast at my face, I'd appreciate it."

Phantom opened his eyes just a crack. Everything was still blurry, and he only caught a glimpse of dark, black hair before they fell closed again. A warm hand wrapped around his own, still pressed against the bleeding wound. His hand was pried away. Phantom tried to swallow down the whine as the wound was revealed to the air, but it escaped his throat anyway.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," the voice said. It was familiar, but Phantom just couldn't place it... "I need to take off the tracker before they find you, and then I need to see if I can patch this up." The person paused for a moment before continuing. "Well, this will probably hurt, but its to help you. I promise."

Their warm fingers ended up digging into his side, and Phantom yelped, trying to curl up, get away from the pain. Instead, Phantom ended up falling into the chest of whoever it was, their other hand supporting Phantom's shoulder. "Hey, it's ok, it's all gonna be ok, I promise just..." The hand moved down Phantom's shoulder, tracing to his other hand, sliding between his fingers. "If you need to, squeeze my hand, ok? Maybe not with the ghost strength, but it might help."

Phantom managed to nod into the person's shoulder. He wasn't planning on squeezing this person's hand at all, but it was nice. Soft. Warm. The rest of this person was also soft and warm. And smelled good. Much better than the garbage. Phantom turned his nose into the person's neck and inhaled. Whoever this was was nice. Much better to focus on the nice than the pain pulsing in his side, his very essence pooling underneath him.

Yes, much better to focus on the person than their hand digging around his innards, tugging at parts of Phantom he'd never imagined even being possible to be tugged at. Their hair was soft against Phantom's cheek, but slightly damp. Had they been running? Why? Phantom thought he had taken care of the threats to humans. The only threat remaining should be to Phantom himself, and that wasn't any reason to run.

There was the sound of crunching from next to Phantom. "The tracker's gone. I'm going to try and get you good to fly, or at least walk. Filtered ectoplasm should do the trick, right?"

Phantom tried to nod into their neck, but the darkness behind his eyes began to swim.

"Ok, I'm just going to..." there was the sound of a zipper, and the clinking of glass. "This might hurt a bit."

It was a syringe, Phantom realized, as the needle went into his arm. The pinching feeling was drowned out by the pain in his side, and then that was overrun by a sense of electricity running through his veins, of pure, unadulterated power, and his previous statement of not squeezing this person's hand went out the window. Phantom's entire body tightened almost against his will. The breath of a hiss hit the side of Phantom's face, and he wrenched his hand away. He could still feel the bones in the human's hand, so fragile, they would be so easy to break, barely even a thought, and after this person had tried to save him? How could Phantom do something like this? He was supposed to be better, he was supposed to-

The hand he'd just been holding found its way to his back, rubbing gentle circles. "It's ok, it's ok. I think. I don't know if it was supposed to hurt that much, but I think that's a normal response? I hope it was anyway."

The sound of tires squealing a few streets away cut through the comforting voice, and the hand stilled on Phantom's back. "Shit. I was hoping we'd have at least a little more time... um... ok. So, I don't think you're in walking condition yet, but we really need to get moving. Here's hoping that ghosts aren't heavy." 

The hand on Phantom's back wrapped around his chest, tucked under his arms. The other hand moved to Phantom's knees, and now he was in the air, pressed against the person's chest again, with his head resting on their shoulder. Phantom still couldn't quite move, still tensed from the ecto injection, but his mind started to relax. Whoever this was really did smell nice.

"Well, thank you. I think?" 

Had he said that out loud? 

"Yes, yes you did." 

Oh. He didn't mean to. 

"It's ok, you're obviously not in your right mind." 

Yeah, he wasn't. He meant the smelling good thing though. He didn't want them to think he wasn't sincere. 

"I'll believe you that I smell good. I promise." 

Good. That's good.

Slowly, Phantom was able to untense his hands, loosening them from the white knuckled fists that they had been in, and then his arms, and bit by bit, the rest of his body. The pain in his side was still there, but it wasn't quite as pressing. He wouldn't necessarily say he's had worse, but it was manageable, at the very least. 

With the energy more or less gone, and the pain manageable, Phantom became aware of his situation. He was being carried by a stranger who had saved his afterlife. Someone who had access to pure, filtered ectoplasm and had the knowledge to use it. That probably wasn't good. The only humans Phantom knew who had access to that kind of thing were ghost hunters, and ghost hunters weren't about to do...everything this person had done.

For the first time, Phantom peeled his eyes open and saw who had saved him. It was an angle he'd never seen it from, seeing as he was propped against his shoulder, but he'd spent far longer than he cared to admit staring at it. He'd recognize Daniel Fenton's face anywhere. It was, after all, the first face he saw out of the Ghost Zone.

This was better than being kidnapped by the Fenton's, or worse, the Guys In White, but not by much! It was just bad for entirely different reasons. Reasons that were entirely Phantom's fault, ones that he should have gotten over ages ago, but he hadn't, and now he was being carried by Danny Fenton . Maybe it was a good thing he'd lost so much ectoplasm; he didn't have enough to blush bright green like he knew he would be.  And oh, crap, he was leaking ectoplasm all over Danny's clothes and the floor and everything, and had he told Danny he smelled good?

Phantom straightened as much as he could, trying to get out of Danny's grasp, but all he managed to do was wiggle slightly before the pain in his side made it a pointless endeavor. Danny glanced down at him, and Phantom could see the worry etched into his face. "Is the way I'm carrying you hurting? I can try to hold you some other way, you're pretty light. I could probably manage it. I don't know what other ways I could try, but I'll give it my best shot."

"Um, no. This is uh. Fine," Phantom said. He was stumbling over his words. Hopefully, Danny thought it was still entirely because of the ectoplasm loss. 

"If you say so," Danny said. "Just, let me know if it hurts, ok? Or, I suppose it hasn't stopped hurting, but if it hurts more, or in a way that I can stop."

"I will," Phantom said. Part of him patted himself on the back for making it through the sentence without stuttering. The rest of him wished he had stayed in the alleyway to End. It would've been less embarrassing than this. "Where are you uh, taking me?"

Danny stopped mid step. "That. Is a great question! I was going to just take you straight to Fentonworks, so you could go through the portal, but then we might run into my parents and I definitely won't be able to lie my way around that. I can't get anywhere too far, I can't exactly parade you around Amity, and even if I could, I don't think I could carry you for that long anyway... Maybe Sam's house? I think I can get there, and no one actually hangs around there. It's just a whole bunch of cameras."

"Unless they're designed to record ghosts, they won't work with me in the frame," Phantom said. 

Danny sighed and relief, and shot Phantom a small smile that made his core jump in his chest. "That's good. Sam's it is!" Danny started walking in a different direction than he had been originally. "You probably don't know who Sam is, huh? Or me, for that matter." He laughed.

"I know who you are, Danny."

Phantom wished he could take the words back as soon as he said them. Danny opened his mouth in shock, and maybe fear, or disgust, or who knows what else. He'd learned that a ghost had basically been stalking him for who knows how long, and after he'd gone out of his way to save Phantom. Of course he'd be horrified!

"Oh, yea, I guess you've probably seen me around my parents, huh?" 

That was a much more reasonable conclusion, and Phantom pounced on the excuse. "It would be hard to miss you." He was telling the truth. There had been at least a few times Phantom had taken a hit he shouldn't have because Danny had accompanied his parents. "Why are you helping me anyway? There's no way the Fenton's know about this."

Danny was flushed red, and Phantom could almost picture him rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he was worried. "I've been helping you for a while now. Just not as... directly?"

Phantom furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

"I've been uh. Sabotaging their ghost hunting gear in secret basically since the portal opened?" 

Now it was Phantom's turn to be shocked. "You- what?"

"They aren't bad inventors, you know? Once I realized that ghosts were, you know, real and all that, and that they were wrong about the whole 'unfeeling entities of evil' or whatever, well. I couldn't just sit off to the side and do nothing," Danny said. He was distinctively not looking at Phantom. "I couldn't do anything as flashy as you do, but I thought, maybe I could help try and take a threat off the board."

"You decided to help me over your parents?"

"It's obvious that you're trying to help people and, as much as I do love my parents, they aren't exactly the most...helpful of people. They want to be, they just get some serious tunnel vision." 

Phantom stared up at Danny, wide eyed and slack jawed, his core doing jumping jacks in his chest. He'd been aware of his crush on Danny for ages now, and had come to accept it as a silly something he could entertain sometimes. A way to kill time. But it had never been anything serious; Danny was the son of a ghost hunter, likely with their views and definitely with their tech. Phantom had understood that it was more likely that Phantom suddenly get resurrected through dark magic than for his crush to actually go somewhere. But now, still being carried by Danny bridal style down the dark streets of Amity Park, hearing about how Danny had actually been helping him for just as long? Phantom allowed himself to hope, just a little.

Speaking of being carried... "You can put me down now. I should be able to walk," Phantom said.

"Are you sure? It's not too much further, and I don't want you to make your side any worse than it already is," Danny said, not slowing down. "I don't mind. You're really light. Are you always this light?"

"I uh. Maybe? I don't really weigh myself," Phantom said.

"Yea, I guess weight doesn't mean much when you can just fly," Danny said with a laugh. "Do you think that the reason you're so light is because ectoplasm doesn't weigh much, or because gravity doesn't effect you as strongly? Or does gravity not effect ectoplasm as strongly, and that's why its so light?"

Phantom blinked. "I have absolutely no idea."

Danny's face turned red. "Oh. Right. I guess its not all that important to you. Sorry about rambling." 

"You don't need to apologize!" Phantom said quickly. "I don't mind listening, and I can try and answer other questions you have? I just don't know anything about all of that."

If Phantom wasn't quite literally pressed up against Danny's chest, he wouldn't have noticed the sigh of relief he let out. "I'll try to not bombard you with them. Especially when you're. You know. Bleeding out."

"Oh. Right. Forgot about that," Phantom laughed, but cut himself off with a wince. 

"How do you forget that you have a hole in your side?" Danny asked. 

"It happens more often than you would think," Phantom said, trying to force a joking tone into his voice. Based on the tightening of Danny's lips, it didn't work. "The ectoplasm you gave me helped too. And you're questions are good at distracting me."

"Then maybe I should ask you more questions," Danny said, and Phantom swore that there was a teasing tone in his voice. He'd probably imagined it. 

"I'll try my best to answer them."

"Ok, so, what's your favorite food? Do ghosts even eat?"

Phantom was quiet a moment. "That's the question you want to ask?" he said after a minute.

"I mean, yea, why not?" Danny said.

"The few times I've been interviewed by humans, they ask all about why I help Amity, or about how I died, or other questions like that. I assumed you'd be curious about those things as well."

"I mean, I am," Danny replied. "But it seems kind of, I don't know, rude to ask those? It'd be like if I bumped into someone on the street and started quizzing them about their life goals and lowest points and all that."

"You'd be correct about that. It's incredibly rude to ask about most of those things."

"So, favorite food?"

Phantom thought for a moment. "I don't remember ever having human food," he eventually said. "Ghosts can eat, though we don't need to. I know of a few that quite enjoy eating. I've just never had the opportunity to."

Danny gasped. "You've never eaten anything?" At Phantom's head shake, Danny continued. "Oh, we are fixing that right now."

"It may need to wait for my stomach to be enclosed again," Phantom pointed out.

"We are fixing that as soon as you are healed," Danny amended. "My treat."

Phantom swallowed hard. He wasn't exactly an expert in relationships. He hadn't had one after he died, and he didn't remember much of anything from his life, but he did know some things. Just enough to recognize that whatever it was that Danny was proposing sounded a whole lot like a date. Should he say something about it? What if he was wrong, and he scared Danny off some how? Or-

"Here we are!" Danny said, walking up the stairs to the door of a large house. He readjusted Phantom in his arms just enough to knock on the door. 

Before Phantom could say anything, or try and get out of Danny's arms, the door swung open, revealing a rather grumpy looking Sam Manson. Or maybe that was just her normal expression. Either way, it changed quickly to one of shock, than determination, as she took a look at her best friend carrying Phantom. 

"You are so lucky my parents are away on some fancy rich person trip," she said, holding the door open for Danny to walk inside. "Otherwise we would all be in so much hot water."

"Probably!" Danny said, pushing his way into the house. "Sam, Phantom. Phantom, Sam. Now, do you have anywhere I can put him down? He has a hole in his side that needs tending to."

"Yea, I can see that," Sam said. "Follow me. And maybe you can explain what the fuck I missed on the way."

[deadboyfriendd]

hello flea. i hope ur well. i read the new letter of bisbee you released and idk why it made me cry so much. unlike steve, i do consider myself a woman of god, but my faith has evaded me for a while now, and i don't know why but i feel like a like steve does, though obvs i imagine i live a much more comfortable life than him and haven't had the opportunity to shed as much blood as he has. still, i think we all feel a bit like a kicked creature whose only good for biting, and you really got that snapshot in a couple of sentences that packs a lot of punch. i will definitely be re reading this one a lot. i'm sorry of i took too much focus away from your work onto my own feelings, i just wanted you to know that you're writing really touched me deep. so excited for bisbee <3. i think about this steve a lot.

HI

I'm stumbling out of my docs covered in blood to come answer this.

So, here's some flea lore below the cut:

I write about faith a lot, especially in these pieces because I struggle with God and religion very much. Religion was used as a punishment for me, and now I equate it with shame and that feeling of inadequacy. In a way, it made me grieve who I probably should have been or should have ended up. That maybe, maybe, if I hadn't gotten kicked out of school, my life wouldn't have ended up differently, my parents would have loved me another way, the wrongs that happened in my life wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't be as shitty of a person as I turned out to be.

Even now, after three college degrees, a good life, a job that is really good for me. All of the good in my life feels undeserved, like somehow I will never deserve the good things that happened to me because of how I got kicked out of public high school and had to go to catholic school. No matter what good I do or what I accomplish, it still feels like rectifying the embarrassment of that wrong instead of just letting the "right" exist.

It made me really cynical and cold, and really, really learn how to resent people and humanity and morality and God. It honestly kind of ruined who I would have ended up being.

I guess what I'm getting at is PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't apologize for your feelings, because I WANT you to be able to feel those things. Its how //I// felt those things while I was writing it. It's how I can personify and deconstruct these things for myself to be able to understand them, and, if it helps you, then, maybe it'll help me, too.

[katzirra]

Okay, I'm a chapter from the end but I'll finish on my drive to work tomorrow but GOODNESS.

Like I keep saying; love the development of character thoughts and incentives!! It's nice to see that internal desire to be a better man in Thomas and really REALLY realizing how fucked up stuff is. The unhinging of Lucille more so.

The passage of time is done so well and is something that we don't grasp as nicely in the movie. How long this all would have gone on, how long it would have taken McMichael to get to England actually!! I love that a lot, it's very important to me. It's the biggest flaw of the movie for me; as a movie, we cannot grasp time very well. For all we know each cut is a new day, versus how drawn out days and weeks could be.

The ghosts are interesting, not as vivid an image as the movie, but my favorite is the one from under the bed. I forget which one it is right now unfortunately. I love how there's a narrative of "it watched" around the house, ghosts observing the living tenants.... ahhh

The chain of events and dramatization of events is nice, a bit eh to the original sometimes but narratively it flows nicely. I like the added sort of look in from characters who could be present in the scene in a way but not? Like Edith observing Thomas and Finn outside from the window, seeing his machine succeed. NICE TOUCH.

The desperation of her not wanting to believe her love of her life has done or did what he did and the up and down of that is much more emotional and turmoil ridden than the movie which is nice to experience. Makes me sadder. Though the final send off with them didn't hit....as hard? There's a lot to be had in that last exchange visually with the actors involved imo!! So we lose that. Lucille is much crazier and frenzied in the novel for sure - ALSO NICE NOTE OF THOMAS SEEING THE MANUSCRIPT BURNING AND IT BOTHERING HIM.

Also man!!! MAN!!! I LOVE THOMAS THOUGH. His struggle shit is so good. Him like hating that people see him for a handsome bitch and a lord~ and he's like man, I thought my wife's dad was a great dude and she saw me for my brain AND my huge dick unù

I also just... the novel really made me think more about how much I started wanting them to be able to be happy because I forget so much that her dad was an engineer?? She grew up around all that stuff and jargon!! She'd understand so much that Thomas would talk about or refer to. And as a MODERN WOMAN that's neat because it makes her that much different still....

I think the only thing I'm eh on is how DAZED I feel in this battle at the end? I feel very lost in it for some reason. Like since Thomas has been stabbed something about the pacing is throwing my ass??

I'm gonna back up and listen to the last two chapters and epilogue tomorrow :u

ALSO LIKE OKAY SO THE BIG THING WAS UHH THOMAS' FLASHBACK TO THE DAY THEIR FATHER DIED OR LIKE THE FIRST MAJOR TIME LUCILLE GOT BEATEN... The fucking GASLIGHTING AT 8 YEARS OLD BRO..... BROOOO.

Also like she's a little creep showing him foreimages on books?? LIKE DON'T SHOW HIM THE SEXY IMAGES ON THE BOOKS THAT'S WEIRD DUDE.... LIKE I'M SO.....MMMM. augh???

BUT ALSO ALSO I LOVED GETTING AN IMAGE OF THEIR FATHER HIS DISDAIN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY ESPECIALLY THEIR MOTHER AND LIKE SEEING WHERE LUCILLE WOULD DEVELOP THAT FROM... being cruel and it's learned behaviors from both mother AND father... and also more of Thomas' kind heart and inventing. I love the woman of action and man who just... never knows what to do and feels he can't help ever because his whole life he's been made to feel he can't do anything...

The guilt and gaslightis insane to think about. The it's the least you could do being the foundation of that whole incestuous situation and it just... kept going because of that narrative. If I love my sister, this makes her happy and we just can't be separated etc. INSANE. There was a lot of interesting shit with that one chapter - it packed a PUNCH???

Really good shit. Also like as much as I do love Thomas for a multi faceted little bastard, I love that the book very much is struggling to like stress that... IDK there's a lot of feelings on these characters and how they feel towards eachothet.

I do kinda wish the stabbing scene of Alan was done more emotional or weighted because it's a very well done scene and one of my favorite down strikes in the movie?? The book is very Lucille off the SHITS about it versus like HOW ARE THE MARRIED SHARPES DOIN" FELLAS? NOT GREAT. THERE'S A LOT GOING ON AND THERE'S A LOT OF BAD VIBES. Even Alan like... the author is so funny with him but I'd like to have gotten more flavor text with him there too. I did like the kinda Doctor Brain moment about thinking about organs etc.

I also might have not been paying as much attention at that moment abd might just need to go back a dee chapters tbh :0 we'll aee. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow and reflect better.

VERY GOOD THOUGH. GOSH.

[arimakes]

Writer Tag Game

Snagged from @mojowitchcraft

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

257,474

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things (mainly Steddie)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Late Bloomers - Eddie discovers he's bi through a "platonic" kink dynamic with Steve. Co-written with @mojowitchcraft March Madness - Sub Eddie featuring c*ckwarming and edging A Piece of Something (You Think is Gonna Last) - Tommy learns about Steve's new life in a small lake town Dog Days of Summer - Steve's journey of self-discovery over six summers in a small lake town Right Where You Belong - Eddie has a condition that causes him to time travel

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to keep up on AO3, but I am definitely behind right now. I love reading them so much and am slowly trying to catch up!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think Right Where You Belong has the angstiest ending? But it isn't even angsty. It's a happy ending, just emotional!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Late Bloomers with Amy. In general, it was the happiest/fluffiest story I've ever written!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not that I've seen!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh yes! Queer smut, always! I've dabbled in some kinky smut, too. But mostly I like to toss in some dirty talk to pack a punch.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not really. Right Where You Belong is a Time Traveler's Wife AU. But the themes in my fic are very different from the themes in the original source and the ending is very very different (happy).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. But I would if someone wanted to.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah :) Late Bloomers with Amy, linked above!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Steddie all the way

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I have ideas that I've started but haven't left my docs. I intend to write them all eventually.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told scene setting is one of my strengths! And I think I plot things out pretty well.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I notice myself repeating sentence styles/structures. I'd love to develop that more!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I only speak English, so I wouldn't personally be able to do it. If someone has it in their fic, I'd just google translate it!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stranger Things only!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

It's so hard to say. But I think Right Where You Belong and Dog Days of Summer are my top two. RWYB because it's the first thing I ever wrote. I never thought it was something I'd do, but I fell in love with it during that process. There is so much about that story that I am so proud of as well. I think I really stuck the landing (ending) on that one. Dog Days because it's just so special and personal to me. It seems as though it's touched people in a personal way, too, so I feel connected in a very real way with those who have taken the time to comment and message me about it.

If you've made it this far, then tag, you're it!

[the-last-f2p]

Lost & found Beast :Akutagawa x reader

A/N: I just got and finished BSD beast 1 so here is a fic/short series.

TW: Mentions of blood, Assassin brotherhood, Mentions of killing, Gaslighting, swearing, Suicidal thoughts for a line,

Life in the slums was not pleasent to say the least. But atleast you had him.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa The Silent Rabid Dog

Yes he was as emotoinless as a dead body but he was a good friend who saved you too many times to if you could count you felt like you atleast should give him something in return that thing being your friendship. Even if he made it look like he couldn't care less about you.

"Akutagawa-kun do you a sweet potatoe we got a big enough paycheck for everyone!" You smile to him.

"....Sure." He says as blankly as ever he takes the potatoe.

"Here take another and give it to Gin-chan as well!" You give him another potatoe.

"I'm gonna go now see you later Akutagawa-Kun!" You then run off somewhere. That place being your source of money. A brotherhood of assasins. Yes maybe everytime you went into the less than grand building it stank of something blood and everyone looked down on you both literally and figurativley you were still pretty young okay?! But that didn't mean that you couldn't pack a punch. Mostly thanks to your ability How to Kill your family that allowed you to make a small cut on anyone remotly related to your family that if not treated properly would grow until it cut through a vital vein. The only drawback is that it could only be used once a day or else you would collapse from exhastion. Lucky that you consider everyone in the group in the slums your family or your ability wouldn't be nearly as useful.

"Y/N. I have a job for you." My boss said to me looking almost as emotionless as Akutagawa.

"There's a man by the name of Osamu Dazai the boss of the port mafia kill him and your pay will be trippled." The port mafia?! Maybe you weren't the brightest but you're not that dumb.. But what if you did it. Pay trippled. Your pay had been cut tremendously for your age already but trippled would be enough to get a food supply for everyone for atleast a week. You had to go even if you knew it was suicide...

And this is how you ended up trying to find someway to relate Osamu Dazai to one of your familiy members...

"Lets see.. No.. No.. Wait.. SAYAKA she met one of the Port Mafia members last week it was only for a bit but it should be enough..." Ability: How to kill your family

"Osamu Dazai."

Blue rings started to appear around you and images flashed in your head of a messy brown-haired man dressed in black who you assumed to be Osamu Dazai. You then saw a small cut appear on his finger. Yes tripple pay here you come. It then healed as quick as it appeared.

"Nice try Y/N L/N but if you're gonna try kill me please at least do it in person." He smiled a ginger haired boy heard it and asked

"Who are you talking to boss?" "No one, you must be hearing things Chuuya."

The image in your head then dissolved into nothing god fucking dammit does he have some kind of ability well of course he does how else was it supposed to heal without him even touching the cut? If that didn't work you'll just kill him the hard way... This'll be your first up close kill and you don't really know how you'll pull it of....

"Y/N look!" One of your friends brought a small object up to your face that you recognized as a diamond.

"Its real Akutagawa-san checked!" You were about to contiue the conversation but then Akutagawa interupted you.

"Pack up in one minute we need to get out of here." You felt a presence near you and immidetally ducked leading your friend to get shot in the forehead then collapsing on the floor. You were pretty sure the people said something but you were to focused on what your friend said.

"H...H-Help us Aku..Ta Y/...N." He then got shot again your first reaction was for you to run as fast as possible away. You were then met with the sounds of bullets and screaming until you couldn't take it yes you were an assasin but you never had even heard the sound of gunshots before and it scared you. You found the nearest window and jumped out of it running your little legs of until you had exited the slums of Yokohoma and into the nicer side. You stopped at a bridge to catch your breath. By the time you had got to the bridge it was already dusk and there was barely anyone around this was a good enough place to rest......

You woke up to a tall red-head looking down at you and your first reaction was to kick him but he blocked it so easy that it was like he could see the future.

"Quite a way to greet people don't you think?" He tells you.

"Who are you? What do you want? Are you with the Mafia or those guys do you wanna kill me aswell finish the job?" Actually now that you say it maybe it would be a good thing if he came to kill you as long as it was quick.

"Calm down kid I was just worried seeing you collapsed." "Well I am fine there is no need to be worried and if you're not here to kill me then get the hell away!" You try to kick him again but he lands a blow to your stomach and then throws you on his shoulder.

"GET THE HELL OF ME! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I'M APART OF THE YOKOHOMA ASSASINS BROTHERHOOD I'LL KILL YOU!" You start to thrash around but the man doesnt even flinch.

"I'm not gonna abandon a kid who obviously needs help."

"I don't care who the hell even are you!?"

"My name is Oda. Sakunosuke Odasaku member of the armed detective agency." The armed Dective Agency huh-

"-" You were about to say something but exhaustion had hit you again somehow.

The next few weeks had flown before you knew it you were a member of the armed detective agency and to think all you had to was untie a 'hostage' and defuse a fake bomb by throwing yourself over it thanks a lot Oda not.

4 years later

"Y/N." One of your co-workers Kunikda called out your name.

"Yo." You turned around on your chair.

"Theres a guy I want to you to meet." You were about to get up from your chair but you were almost hit by a all to familar ability that messed up your desk beyond repair dammit....

"Akutagawa-Kun?"

"Y-Y/N?!"

Words:1096

A/N: Yo I wanna make a part 2 so take a cliffhanger also happy first fic that had no promt me

-Sybilliya

[thisliminalspacedaydreams]

For the fanfic writer asks let’s do M A and R for our names lmaooo

Hellouuu

M: What’s the weirdest AU scenario you’ve ever come up with?  Did it turn into a story?

I think TISAYCTM. I've always loooooooveeddd a good soulmate AU. The Star Wars fandom was overflowing with them, there were SO MANY I couldn't even read them all, but god knows I tried. So I really wanted to write my own little version of soulmates AU but I wanted it to be original and not like the other girls.

I've seen the Hanahaki disease trope, the tattoo trope, the sparks fly when you touch trope, the A/B/O trope, and they're all fun and games, but and I wanted it weirder.

I was reading Plato's Symposium at the time, and I love aliens, and it kind of started from there, the idea of having monsters/aliens/humans as soulmates and being separated by Gods because of their power, long ago.

And it just...SNOWBALLED into whatever the hell I'm writing now.

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

My fave solo fanfic is Heartless, even though she's full of holes and I'm editing her to all hell as we speak because I see all of her flaws and I want to fix her and make her all pretty.

My non solo fave is currently under works and I hope to god we get to release it at some point because it's been something I've been loving for a year, and we recently started writing it and I think it might become my best duo work, when it's done. I hope so anyway.

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

There are a few fics out there that are written in a way that drive me bananas.

Choices is one. @sophsicle writing was the one to push me into writing fiction again. I think they have such a weird effortless beautiful way with words that cannot be replicated. It's so simple but always somehow packs a punch and I don't know many long stories where all the words are needed and everything matters?

Pledge is another by @ellabesmirched. The writing there is also phenomenal and so different from what I've ever seen. I couldn't believe my eyes as I was reading that fic. I was drawn into the world and the characters and I think there is something about how the intentions are rarely really explained, and it leaves a LOT of room for interpretation for the reader, and I love that stuff. I like not being spoon fed my fics.

Annihilation by had me sobbing because the writing is bonkers???????? and I actually will never recover from this fic. NEVER. The companion fic was just as crazy. This line comes from Apocrypha : The man’s eyes are the sort of incomprehensible color that’s only ever mentioned in descriptions of horrors and God.

I don't know what to say. It's insane writing.

Living in border lines and every work by inthesquare @aboutnavi is so criminally underrated. There's an effortless poetry about her writing that strikes me just the right way.

There are SO. MANY. amazing writers everywhere. In all the fandom spaces I've ever been in, there are at least ten or twenty writers who I think are absolute game-changers. These are just off the top of my mind, but that doesn't diminish other writers' worth.

I think the beauty of fanfic writing is that it's so obviously un-edited and so much less palatable than "mainstream" fiction, which makes finding writers that are original and weird and wonderful much more easy than through mainstream books where books are edited to all hell and (imo) all end up looking the same.

I like the rawness of fanfic.

Yes. Give me your brain movies. That you thought up in your mind. While pretending to care about your 9/5 job.

This ask game

[rendangnana]

In Between

Pairing: BTS x Reader 

Genre: Fantasy| Spirit AU

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: TBA (For now none)

Join tag list !(pm/send in an ask/reply/reblog)

Next

BEGINNING

Magic,— something you won’t believe if you haven’t see it by your own eyes and it would also be the same with ghost, spirit and supernatural things or even believing in a life after death. Something you won’t believe if you haven’t experience it by yourself. Theres a lot of doubt in human if you didn’t feel it, it won’t be something real for you. 

And I once personally didn’t believe in these things. I saw death everyday and I never experienced anything related from the ‘other’ side. I worked as a mortuary make up artist, I basically live among the death. And even though I don't believe in ghost and their friends I like to watch something horror or scary, sometimes also read some creepy pasta works, because it makes my adrenaline go crazy. Love that feeling.

"Hey! We got new corpse in. Murder victim, badly wounded on torso and multiple scars all around the body, also broken hand. Male, 23. A John Doe by the way." A man came with the corpse cover with a white cloth over his body on the bed. "Okay, thank you.”

I open the cover, it reveal a man with pale skin.

'Yeah,He is dead. Everyone came dead here'

'What a waste his face is like a sculpture. Totally my type.’

I examined his scar and everything, where to fix the part that is broken or open. So he will look good as he is alive, presentable at least.

Dead men tell no story, but their dead body tell.  

'He got a nice body'

I touched that nice soon fade line of eight pack rectus abdominis that he have. 'What kind of workout he did ? He could be a body builder or a fighter. He really took care of his body.’ I examined his body more and found a lot of old scars. ‘Maybe a fighter’

I wrote all the parts that need to be FIX and started to do my job. I resew the scars he got from his murderer and autopsy. Then I put my best skill to cover any damage and discolor skin, fill any holes and did natural make up and hairstyle too. He already looks good without any makeup even when he is dead but just to make his face doesn't look too dead.

I applied my brush and drew on his face, while admiring some of his facial features. He have a mole under his mouth and couples on his cheeks. His lips are small there’s a cut,—maybe from a punch. He have a lot of piercing holes and also the things that really catch my attention was his sleeve tattoos.

'Is he some kind of gang member ? Maybe that's why he died this way'

'Seriously, what a waste’

All done, just need to put a good suits on him. But since he is a John Doe he have no family nor relatives, so he won’t need a clothes for a time. He won't be buried until someone claim to know him and take him, and if no one come for him within one month he will be just buried and no ceremony.

'Poor him’

The clock on the wall tell the time, '12 o'clock' .

Right on schedule, I clean all the tools and get ready to go home. Turning off the lights and lock the door.

The road was empty, wind blowing making my body chill. I wish I could buy a car, it would be easier to go home at night.

Sleep. I need sleep. Already arrived at my condo, washed my self and ready to go to sleep. HEAVEN. My bed, soft and full of pillows and fluffies. I jump to the pool of softness and fell a sleep soon.

————————————————————————————————————————

A loud sound woke me up from my slumber, 'What's that sound ?'

Someone is lurking in the kitchen, is it a burglar ? I'm kinda confused, my room is on 10th floor, what kind of burglar went to 10th floor. A lunatic?

I took the room broom thats lying next to my bedroom door.

'I hope theres only one person'

'Should I call the police?'

'Let's check it first' Maybe this was a stupid decision, if it's really a burglar who have weapon with them, definitely I will die with broom in my hand.

I sneaked to the kitchen finding my refrigerator door open. And theres someone looking for something inside it. I cannot see him properly since he was behind the refrigerator door.

'Is he only here for food?'

'Why bother to went up here, to 10th floor???'

'Should I knock him out ?'

'Maybe, here's goes nothing'

I screamed while putting my broom up to hit him. But the broom went through him.

"What the hell?!" He said.

THE BROOM WENT THROUGH?

“W-what the hell are you??" I said still looking at my broom confused. ‘Is this broom broke ?’

"Well... you can see me ?" He asked.

Why was he asking such a weird question? Of course I can see him clearly even with only the moon light shining through him.

Through

Through

Through….

"What the hell in seagull name are you??? Why everything goes through you ???" I started to panic. All of these horror and thriller movies watching experience weren’t helping at all when I see something as real as this. Am I still dreaming ? But the pinched from my finger now felt real.

"Are you a GHOST??"

He click his tongue and wink. "That's right!" Then he gulped the milk he took from my refrigerator. "Ah I miss this taste.”

Wait, he looks familiar. That face, the face that I just saw today.

He is the John Doe that I just fixed.

"Aren't you the one at my mortuary? The murder victim? Aren’t you dead?"

"Yeah thats right, still dead last time I checked. And thank you for fixing my handsome face by the way." He cheers his milk carton.

"Uhmm.. your case. How did you died?” Curiosity bite you as you wondered of his body state at the morgue.

"Ah thats right, that fucker. Argh I fucking hate this." He ruffled his long hair with a blue highlight at the end of it.

"Are by any chance you were a gang member?"

"Almost right.” He chuckled “I am actually an assassins. And my fucking trusted friend killed me on the action because someone from the rival of someone who hired me paid him to do so. Piece of shit, shouldn't had take him with me." He crushed the empty milk carton.

“Okay…. And why are you here? Are you going to haunt me? Posses me? ” I asked still can't believe I saw a ghost in front of me.

"Nah, I saw you fix me and because I cannot go to heaven nor hell, I thought why not I live with her. And this is a nice place you got here." He walk to the sitting area and took his place.

He saw me fix him. Then he must have saw all of those touching and admiring everything about him. Oh gosh this is embarrassing. I never thought I will see the ghost of someone I fix. I hope the others didn't saw what I did to them, nothing bad I did though just embarrassing.

"Aren't you supposed to be scared of me? Or are you those ghost hunter freak or you see ghost everyday because you work at the death peoples home ?”

"Well I was a bit scared when that broom went through you.” The hold on the broom getting closer to me. “And I never saw a ghost before, you are the first one.”

'Why did I talk with a ghost?'

'Why you just realize this??’

"I see. What's your name darling?”

'Darling? Gosh this ghost is something’

"Uhm, its y/n. Yours ?”

"Ah yes you only know me as the John Doe, it's Jungkook. And can you tell your boyfriend to stop glaring me.”

'Boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend.'

'Did he mean theres another ghost here ?’

"I don't have..”

"You should fucking go from here you heaven trash." Suddenly a sound came from behind me. A low voice, a man.

'What is happening ?'

Could you guess who is it ? 😌

[mimisempai]

Something worth fighting for

Summary

Greg comes home with a black eye and Mycroft is not happy at all. Maybe he'll soften when he hears the reasons for his lover's condition.

Notes

Mystrade Monday 2.0 #73 "Who did this?"

@mystradepromptsandscenarios

On Ao3

Rating 7 - 1014 words

"Who did this?"

That was the first thing Mycroft said when he saw Greg arrive at the apartment. He pointed to the black eye that adorned his lover's left eye. Greg winced and replied sheepishly, "You should see the other one..."

Mycroft stepped forward and took his chin, "Greg, I'm serious... how did you get that bruise?"

Greg knew that, knowing his lover, he would have to tell him the truth either way. He sighed and replied, "It's that guy from the archives, he said something about you, or rather us and I..."

He saw Mycroft's expression change and quickly continued to reassure him, "It's all right Mycroft, when I say you should see the other man, I'm not lying. I've already taken care of him. But honestly I'm beat so can we go sit on the couch while I tell you what happened?"

As he passed the mirror in the hallway, he stopped and studied his face, then chuckled, "Wow, that makes me look badass."

He saw in the reflection that Mycroft was rolling his eyes as his lover muttered, "It mostly looks painful."

Probing his eye with his fingertip, Greg couldn't hold back a grimace and replied as he made his way back to the living room, "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it's not. Right now I feel like my heart is just beating in my eye."

Mycroft replied, "Go sit down, I'll be right there."

Greg obeyed and was joined a few minutes later by Mycroft, who sat down beside him and gently applied an ice pack to his swollen eye. Greg could hardly hold back a sigh of relief at the sensation of the cold on his inflamed skin.

"Tell me about it..." Mycroft said quietly as he continued to hold the ice pack against Greg's eye and cheek.

"I noticed right away when I met this guy that he had a very hostile attitude, but I had no idea why. Anyway, when he couldn't find the documents I asked him for, I insisted anyway, because they couldn't be anywhere else. He replied that I just had to ask my fancy lover, that since I liked to play the whore for the government, I should have no trouble getting paid in kind for the information I needed. I'll skip the rest of his even more flowery speech. You can imagine I couldn't let that go, so let's just say my fists were faster than my thoughts and he responded in kind. Then Donovan held me back and calmed me down. Since she was a witness, she came with me to the Chief and we filed a report. The guy from the archives was fired, apparently it wasn't the first time he'd made homophobic remarks, there had been two complaints, but since there were no witnesses, no action was taken. I got a little admonishment that I had reacted with my fist, but that it was acceptable under the circumstances."

He raised his eyes to Mycroft and continued, looking stubborn, "I have no regrets and I will not apologize for defending my honor and that of the man I love."

Mycroft's expression softened and he leaned in for a light kiss, careful not to touch the places on his face where Greg was bruised. Then he said softly: "Well, the next time you feel like defending me, just remember that I don't like to see the man I love get punched in the face. It's a hell of a black eye."

Greg lifted his hand slightly and touched his fingertip to the bruise that ran along his cheekbone and around his swollen eye. "It's really impressive, isn't it?"

"Could you not look so proud of yourself?"

Greg shook his head and immediately winced because the gesture brought back his pain. "Oh yes, I'm proud. I've always run from confrontation like the plague because most of the time it ends badly for me. But this wasn't just about me. So yes, I'm proud I didn't run."

Mycroft kissed him again, longer this time and whispered, "It hurts me a little to say it, because you ended up injured, but I'm proud of you."

Greg rested his head on Mycroft's shoulder, "It hurt like hell, but I don't regret standing up to that guy and I don't regret fighting for us."

Mycroft rested his head on Greg's and replied, "Then I won't regret it either."

Inwardly, he promised himself that the next day, he would investigate the man who had hurt Greg and make sure he was never in Greg's path again. That was the least he could do to protect his lover.

He felt Greg's head grow heavy on his shoulder and said quietly, "Come on, let's go to bed. We'll be more comfortable."

"We?" asked Greg, "but it's still early. You don't have to come to bed right away."

Mycroft replied as he helped Greg up, "Yes, we. There's no way you're going to be out of my sight for more than ten seconds tonight."

Greg chuckled, "My, my, I have a very protective boyfriend."

They had reached the bedroom and as Mycroft helped Greg under the covers, he replied, "You have no idea."

He slid in next to Greg and wrapped his arms around him as Greg pressed his back against Mycroft's chest.

Greg whispered, "I don't mind, you know."

Mycroft chuckled, "Good, because I have no intention of changing where you're concerned."

Greg, feeling sleepy, murmured, "I love that."

Mycroft planted a kiss on his hair and replied, "Is that all you love?"

Greg whispered, "Idiot, I love you." 

"And so do I. Sleep now," Mycroft whispered. Then, when he was sure Greg was asleep, he added, "I'll protect you."

As if he had heard him in his sleep, Greg snuggled even tighter against him and let out a contented sigh.

Mycroft stayed awake for a few more moments, watching over his lover's sleep. It was only when he was sure that Greg was sleeping soundly and peacefully that he let himself fall asleep.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

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