#regulus would make people cry for fun you can’t tell me I’m wrong

[spxllcxstxr]

Being Regulus Black’s Younger Sister (Version 1 - Slytherin) • Headcanon

Warnings: body insecurity and eating mention, forced eating restrictions, canon child abuse and neglect by Walburga Black, Barty Crouch Jr makes an appearance

Request: Hey maybe you could do a regulus x younger sister headcanons or fix really whatever you want to do 💖 — @nicole198205

A.N: I honestly loved writing Black sister reader...this was so fun and if you liked it too and want like a real blurb or something based on any of these bullet points, you should request it. Hope you all enjoy and I love you all ❤️

Being the only girl in 12 Grimmauld Place means that you got treated differently than your brothers

Not nicer, by any means

Different in a way that meant your mother was constantly fussing over your appearance and making sure you acted “ladylike”

When you were little it was nice

You got to spend alone time with your mother in your room, she would brush your hair and pick out frilly and elegant dresses

Sure, sometimes she would purposefully tug a little too hard on your hair causing you to yelp, but it wasn’t a big deal

Eventually, though, your mother got rougher, these mother-daughter times turning into torturous hours where she’d make snippy comments about your weight and how you should appear to certain men

You weren’t even ten years old and she was already arranging your marriage to a man that, according to the Black Family Tapestry in the Drawing Room, was a distant relative

Sure she bought you dresses, and heels, and jewels, but they weren’t for you to enjoy and it wasn’t out of love or kindness

She needed you perfect for marriage

You always ran to Regulus’ room for comfort and he was always happy to listen to you vent

“If Bella, and Cissy, and Andy can deal with it, (Y/n), so can you. You’re just as strong as they are.”

You were always closer to Regulus, maybe because he was closer to you in age or because he wasn’t as rough or brash as Sirius

While Sirius taught you curse words, Regulus taught you prose and poetry

When Sirius went off to Hogwarts, the two of you got even closer

Your mother got worse when she found out that her eldest son was sorted into Gryffindor

She had a fit that day, one that consisted of her throwing pots and pans at the walls, shattering ancient artifacts, and tearing at her own hair

You and Regulus, frightened little children, hid in his closet waiting for your father to come home to calm her down

The two of you clutched each other tight, not daring to even make a noise, scared that you might be the next thing she breaks

You and Regulus weren’t allowed to say your brother’s name and all letters were snatched away and thrown into the fireplace

He was even banned from coming home for Christmas break

The two of you were dragged to even more family gatherings and balls

You particularly were forced to split your time between hanging out and learning from the other girls and presenting yourself to the boys

At night, you would sneak into your brother’s room, seeking comfort

You would talk about Sirius and how you can’t wait to get to Hogwarts

“Hogwarts’ll be different, (Y/n). No more screaming and family obligations...” He would smile, listening to a rogue sneakoscope whir in a drawer

“You’re forgetting something, Reg.” You’d sigh. “I’ll have to be on my own for a whole year before I can join you guys.”

“Well maybe mother will let you read my letters, and I can sneak in some of what Sirius wants to tell you.”

Sirius was different when he came back home for the summer

He wasn’t afraid to push your mother’s buttons a bit harder and he certainly wasn’t afraid to run his mouth a bit more

Sirius talked like the outside world like it was the best thing ever

And while you were curious about Hogwarts and the many different sorts of people that attended, your mother made it pretty clear pretty quick that even associating yourself with your older brother was worthy of some sort of punishment

And as much as you loved Sirius, you loved playing it safe even more

You didn’t outright ignore him, you did talk to him about Bella’s new boyfriend and the new quill your father bought you

But more often than not, you were with Regulus, enjoying the time you had left together

The night before Regulus had to leave for Hogwarts, you came crying into his room

“Don’t cry, sœur, it’ll be quite alright.” He would whisper in your ear, rocking you back and forth in his arm (sœur is sister in French)

But your etiquette lessons got harder and your mother got stricter, trying to make you a Perfect Slytherin Princess

Your mother was overjoyed when she got a letter saying how Regulus was sorted into Slytherin

She gave you a glass of wine (“Because that’s what ladies drink, (Y/n)!”) and told you that Regulus was a perfect role model

Regulus sent letters every week, detailing his classes and the people in his year

He made fast friends with a Bartimus Crouch Jr

He told you how Sirius would barely talk to him in the corridors ever since the sorting

Regulus would say a quick hello and Sirius would always reply, but the older brother never went out of his way to leave his friend group for a chat

Regulus would write paragraphs about why this could be before settling on the fact that it’s because of the house difference

Sirius only sent a few letters home and each time they were burnt to ash in front of you

So Regulus was your only outlet

You would tell him about how mother was starting to restrict your meals and starting to squeeze you into dresses far too small

He would offer you comforting words and distractions by talking about school, as it was far too difficult to actually help your situation through a letter

Regulus didn’t come home for Christmas break, claiming that exams were stressing him out, especially Herbology, so he’d rather continue his studies in a school environment

So that’s how the rest of your year goes

Regulus is...different when he gets back for the summer

It’s a very slight change, you’re pretty sure you’re the only one who notices

But it’s there

A bit more reserved, a bit more secretive

Childish wonder disappearing

He no longer publicly acts afraid of your mother

“It’s Sirius’ fault he’s got grounded, (Y/n). He broke a rule, now he’s facing the consequences.”

“But Reg, he didn’t do anything wrong—“

“(Y/n)! Are you trying to encourage the downfall of the Noble House of Black?!”

And that was it

But finally you were off to Hogwarts

Regulus lets you sit with him and Barty, who wears expensive shoes like you and Reg and had a slight tic with sticking his tongue out

But he was nice nonetheless less

Turns out, they were the outcasts of the outcasts

You were welcome to join when you are sorted into Slytherin

They were sure that you were going to be sorted there already

And you were dreading it

What if you weren’t a Slytherin and ended up like Sirius?

You could barely handle your family now, there’s no way you’d be able to take the extra shit Sirius gets

The hat gives you a choice

The worst choice possible

Gryffindor or Slytherin

You end up with a hatstall of 8 minutes, constantly looking between your brothers

And you beg to be placed in Slytherin

And so you join your brother and Barty at the table of the snakes

Sirius doesn’t look at you across the Great Hall

“Hey, Reg? Did the hat give you a choice too?”

“A choice between what?”

“Slytherin and Gryffindor.”

“Don’t tell anyone you got a choice. Listen, people in this house are brutal to people like you who get choices. Don’t mention it.”

“You didn’t answer my question—“

And he never does

You spend all of your time with Regulus and Barty, the other kids in your year are kinda major assholes

Regulus helps you with your homework, always making time for you

Meet ups in the library

Chess in the common room

Barty was usually with you as well

And that’s how it goes over the next few years

Even when Regulus is busy with his own classes and him being a seeker, he’ll make time for you

You always attend his matches, cheering him on

He’s a great seeker

In your fifth year, you notice how Reg and Barty change drastically

Pulling away from you, secret meetings, dark depictions and phrases hidden in notebooks

You get worried

For the first time ever you push your way through the Marauders to talk to your brother

“Oh, the Slytherin Princess arrives! Want us to bow?” He snarks, his friends laughing

“Piss off, Sirius! It’s about Reg.”

“What about him? Did he finally stop kissing Walburga’s arse?”

“It isn’t a laughing matter!” You’re practically in tears

And he listens to you as you explain all of your concerns and he ends up agreeing that that is worrisome

“What the hell did you tell Sirius?” Regulus shouts at you in the empty common room one night

“I’m worried, Reg! You’re going all dark, like what mother wants! This isn’t you!”

“This is me, believe it or not, (Y/n)! I’m not some puppet!” He shouts at you.

“Just wait, (Y/n), you’re next. Next year, it’ll be you. You can’t escape it.”

“Sirius got out of it.” You mumble

Regulus storms out and that’s the last real conversation you have with him and Barty for a long time

You get a letter from him when you graduate, something you have to hide away from your brother and the rest of the Order

Forgive me, sœur,

RAB

•

All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20 @amourtentiaa @cherie-draco

Regulus Taglist: @lunalovecroft

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 25

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader   CW: Language, implied sexual content, angst 

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 25: Theories of Emotions

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April 30th, 1976

“HAHAHA!” Y/N let out a scream of mirth. She laughed so hard that her knees buckled, meeting the soft grass beneath and wand slipped from her grasp. Her eyes swam with heavy tears, gasping for air as she rocked back and forth, clutching her ribs. Nonplussed and unamused, Regulus gawked at her.

“You wart. You said you wouldn’t laugh!”

It was a passing joke, that she would teach Regulus how to swim but he took it a little too literally. Now, swimming — or attempting to swim in the shallow area of the black lake, wearing bright yellow floaties to keep him afloat, Regulus kept making large splashes; his arms failed around, legs unsynchronized as he kicked to propel his body.

“When you said your swimming skills were horrific, I thought you were being humble!”

Regulus’s face turned a dark pink, but he wore a sheepish grin. He doggy paddled his way out of the lake, which made her laugh even harder and waddled on land. Y/N got up, threw him a towel and ruffled his hair.

Regulus had been looking a little more lively lately, and Y/N was just happy that he seemed to be doing better.

“We can work with this!”

Regulus tossed her a dirty look, “Promise me you’ll never become a professor.”

“Whatever you say, Reggie —” “Hey!”

Once dry, they walked back to the castle and broke off into separate directions. Y/N promised to meet Remus a little earlier than usual at the library, but before then, she stepped into McGonagall’s office and sat in the chair opposite to her. Career meetings have been going on and her scheduled meeting had been weighing her down.

“Hello, Ms. L/N. Biscuit?” McGonagall gestured to the metal tin in front of her.

“No, it’s okay.” “Don’t be absurd.” Y/N was too afraid to reject again, so she took one.

“So, how are you feeling about the upcoming exams?”

“Nervous. Anxious.”

“I can imagine. You did struggle with the change of curriculum at the beginning of the year, but you’ve consistently improved.” McGonagall flipped through her stack of notes; her little glasses perched up high. She cleared her throat again. “You've always excelled in Defense, Potions and Transfigurations — and I’ve talked to Flitwick, he’s said you’ve improved drastically. Although, you struggle with History of Magic.”

Y/N sighed and nodded. Professor Binns wasn’t exactly helpful. “It’s never been a… strong suit of mine.”

“We all have our strengths and weaknesses, no? It doesn’t concern me much. I’ve heard you and Mr. Lupin are quite amicable — you two do study with each other..?”

“Yes, I attend his study sessions.”

McGonagall flashed her a rare smile and Y/N felt immense pride fill her. McGonagall smiling was almost as rare as getting a letter from her mother. “I can proudly say I have faith in you.”

“Thank you.”

“Then, I can assume you’ve given thought to what career you want to pursue?”

This was what she was dreading; thinking about her future. She’d give thought, loads, but it felt like there was such little time to decide the rest of her life. McGonagall waited for an answer as she watched Y/N struggle. “Do you have plans of continuing your education in America or..?”

She tried to make eye contact and her palms suddenly became damp. “I’m having doubts about working in the wizarding world.”

McGonagall pursed her lips.

“It’s not like I don’t want to — I do!” She explained, “I’ve thought about being a Healer. My mother is a Muggle Doctor.”

Professor McGonagall soaked in her words. “Are you struggling because you’re not sure if you want to become one, or do you feel pressured by your mother’s decisions?”

She sat straighter at this. “Er — Yes? No? That’s not my problem — honestly, I think my mom would discourage me from becoming one. It’s just… I mean…” She looked back to McGonagall who nodded encouragingly. “It’s just… the war… I’m not sure if I can…”

“What do you mean?” Her voice shifted, becoming brittle and it took Y/N by surprise. McGonagall wore a look so unlike her. Any trace of her firm, yet strict-kindness facade vanished. It was replaced with deep exhaustion.

“I’m a New — Muggleborn… most people — wizards — aren’t kind to someone like me… and I heard that they’re training them to be medics. I would be in the midst.”

McGonagall took off her spectacles, unveiling her red-rimmed eyes like she’d lost sleep or been crying. She sighed, so sorrowful and heavy that it even affected Y/N. “I won’t lie and say you’re wrong…” Her palms rubbed her tired eyes. “But you can’t let them win. Don’t let go of your dreams to submit to them. I won’t let my students diminish their talents and dreams.”

The professor took a long pause. “I know several institutes that transfer magical credits into Muggle credits if you’re seriously considering disconnecting from Magic. But, I urge you, think about it.”

She nodded gravely. There was already a considerable disconnect from her and the Muggle world that going back seemed impossible, but it was probably the safest.

McGonagall broke the silence, reshuffling her papers.

They continued to talk for some time, jumping from courses and mark requirements for NEWT level courses and Y/N left with a stack of papers and mock schedules. With a heavy heart, she headed towards the library. It seemed like every week when exams neared, the earlier group sessions would be.

Y/N flopped down on one of the couches near the back and let her head loll to rest on the cushion. She wasn’t alone for long before she felt the couch dip beside her. She peeked open one eye; Sirius in all his glory was there. In one hand, he held the Marauder’s map before she snatched it.

“Now you’re stalking me?”

His head made a funny gesture. “You know about the map?”

“... James.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“I haven’t told anyone. I promise!”

He beamed and when Y/N flipped through the papers McGonagall gave her, she felt Sirius place a hand on her thigh, slowly inching up.

Snogging — shagging — it made life a lot more fun. Unresolved anger between each other? Broom closet with heated words between kisses. One of them was stressed? Take it out on the other. Wanted fun? Sneak up to Sirius’s dorm. Sirius being a fucking asshole? Kiss him and he’ll shut up (although, Y/N had a sneaking suspicion that he knew this and was purposely being a dick to get a reaction now). Their anger was slowly dwindling to extinction. Moreover, rather than brooding exchanges across the hall, there were one or two sly smiles.

But, they had four unspoken rules they followed:

Never talk about whatever they were,

Because surely, neither meant anything to the other,

If they were with anyone else, they would have to tell the other,

And most importantly; never, ever, tell anyone.

“You look ravishing.”

Y/N felt her face heat. “I wish I could say the same about you."

Sirius smirked, his fingers trailing dangerously close to her inner thigh.

“Here?" She hissed, "What are you doing?"

“The thrill is the fun part.” He pressed a few sneaky kisses to her jaw, “You spend too much time here with Lupin and not enough time with me.”

“Jealous?” Y/N’s brow rose and she turned to look at him. “Of Lupin?”

Sirius didn’t answer but momentarily pulls away. “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?”

She rolled her eyes. “Slag.”

“You know French?”

“Second official language in Canada.”

Sirius nodded. “Well, I’m a slag… for you.” She teasingly smacked him on the head with her papers.

“I can’t stand you sometimes.”

“Feelings mutual, princess.”

Y/N hid a smirk, resuming to ignore him as she flicked through the stack of papers. There was a dreadful feeling settled deep within. Everything was moving too fast and she felt like she had nowhere to turn. Overwhelmed, she pressed herself into the couch further and groaned out, “Fuck —”

“Maybe we can do that later?”

An involuntary chuckle slipped out which had Sirius grinningly like a fool. There it was again, that Sirius Black grin… it made her heart do wild flips. “You’re a literal dog.”

“And aren’t you a lovely witch?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, flipped him off and went to tug on Sirius’ hair to pull him off before a loud moan ripped from him and echoed throughout the library. Y/N’s eyes grew large, mouth agape. Sirius was unapologetic though; his smile grew bigger.

“I promise I’ll let you slap me, lightly,” he winked and wiggled his brows. “Or hard, whatever you want.”

She shook her head and shoved her things into her bag and pulled Sirius to his feet before he led her up to his dorm. His name spewed from her lips like a prayer and consumed every thought.

At some point, they flopped down on Sirius’ bed as they breathed in deeply, catching their breaths. Y/N was filled with content and went to turn on her side, facing Sirius and cuddling up to him. Gently and mindlessly, pressed a series of light kisses to his forehead while massaging his scalp.

The sun made one last feeble appearance before being engulfed by dusk. Rays of golden glow spilled in as she embraced him. Her hands ran feather-light touches up and down his bare skin and Sirius’ head hugged close to her chest. The soft touches were filled with nothing but her (not so) hidden affection and calm peace. She didn’t think much about her actions.

Something she’d come to learn during their stolen kisses and nights under white satin sheets; Sirius was beautiful in a wild, carefree way. He was wild like how wind sweeps through the branches of willows trees and meadows on a cool summer's eve or carefree in the way waves from the ocean crashed upon rocks. He was hauntingly beautiful in a turbulent, pliable way — wild in not just beauty, but essence too.

And it hurt. What were they doing?

Everything moved so quickly. Not even a month ago, she was supposed to be hating Sirius — now their limbs were tangled together. The ever-present war crept up during the worst times and she and Lily hadn’t spoken since their fight.

Lily…

Y/N tried to be indirect, catching her eyes during class or in their dorms, but nothing. She would always re-direct her gaze. It’d grown awkward in the dorms; Marlene and Dorcas caught in the crossfire.

She really missed Lily. Their late night talks, silly games, Lily keeping her in line and Y/N getting Lily to let loose; everything and more.

Usually, once she and Sirius were done with each other, they would leave, peel off each other but Y/N was so tired of — well, everything.

Trapped in thoughts, she hadn’t noticed Sirius’ body go rigid until his body began to tremble. Sirius made a small strangled noise that she originally mistaken as a laugh or snore until she felt wet droplets fall on her skin.

Y/N pulled back to find Sirius silently crying. She watched him, thinking that she should comfort him but was rooted in place and eyes drifted to the door, thinking of leaving. It felt like an intrusion being there with him and comforting someone was not on her list.

“Er — Sirius?” She whispered, alarmed. Her smile fading and his breath hitched. She awkwardly patted him before going to stiffly stroke his arm, but it only seemed to make him cry harder. She quickly ripped back her hand and put distance between them. Her mind raced a mile a minute as she listened to him. “Sirius? Hey — what’s wrong?”

“Get out.”

She froze and looked back at him. “Do you want me to get someone —”

“GET OUT!” He yelled. It scared her so much that her body jolted and Sirius hid his face with his hands. Sirius crying and screaming at her unprovoked made her panic and recline. He stayed quiet after that, rolling over, pulling his blankets above his head.

She chewed on her bottom lip so hard that a metallic taste flooded her mouth. In a rush, she quickly threw on her clothes and grabbed her bag. She shuffled towards the door but then looked back at Sirius; he looked so small and his cries made her fill with immense sadness. She debated; should she leave and respect his wishes? But the way he was crying, so hysterically and abruptly — she worried he might’ve done something impulsive and stupid.

She decided on leaving and sat right outside the door just in case. She listened to his sobs that managed to seep through the walls.

She waited there for a very, very long time that she almost fell asleep before she heard his muffled voice and swore he said her name.

She knocked twice, “You okay?”

There was a knock back.

“Was I that bad of a kisser?” She tried to joke after some time. Luckily, she heard Sirius choke out a heartbroken giggle. This time there were two knocks. A no, she assumed. 

Silence crept back in and Y/N leaned against the door and looked around the hall. Nobody else was there, but just in case put up a spell for any prying ears.

“Do you still want me to leave?” She asked. “Just say the word.” Communication with him felt weird.

Sirius remained quiet but then she heard him hop off his bed, feet coming closer to the door. She then felt a small nudge against the door as Sirius slid down to sit on the opposite side.  

“You can talk to me,” Y/N said nervously, not wanting him to blow up again. “Did I do something? I promise I didn’t mean it.” She remained still, listening to his quiet sniffling.

Two knocks. 

“Er — I won't push and you don’t need to tell me but — um, I promise I won’t tell a soul. Not even the other Marauders. It’ll be our little secret.”

It takes a long time before Sirius eventually stops sniffling and she listens to his uneven breaths; she's extremely uncomfortable and baffled. He tries to speak several times but ends up cutting himself off.

A sharp exhale came from him, shallow and irregular. In a small, weak voice that made it feel like an invisible weight pressed against her chest, he finally spoke.

“Je suis —” Sirius started before switching to another foreign language. Y/N was able to pick up on a few words: it was Italian.

“Nessuno dei miei amanti mi ha toccato così senza volere qualcosa in cambio. Non mi fai sentire usato e ne ho he terrorizza.”

More silence ensues; Y/N thinks that he might’ve walked away until he speaks again.

“Il modo in cui mi fai sentire mi spaventa e non riesco a gestirlo.” Sirius stops, taking a shaky inhale, “Non sono ancora pronto.”

Then, she hears the door click open and the knob turns. She backs away until it opens and her head peaks in. Sirius is staring at the ground to avoid her eyes, hair acting as a curtain to hide his face. She shuffles in, Sirius leans against the door and shuts it. Y/N shifts to sit in front of him. He’s dressed again, but the sleeves of his shirt were damp with tears.

She inches closer to place an encouraging hand on his but stops, remembering earlier. “Can I touch you?”

He closes his eyes — like the question was a mental battle before he nods. Y/N reaches up, pushing back the strands of fallen hair, revealing his red, puffy eyes. Her thumb strokes over his skin tenderly — intimately, but it causes a broken whimper to escape him, but leans into the touch.

“Whatever you said,” Y/N mutters, “Thank you for telling me.”

Pink floods his cheeks and he hesitantly reaches out, his arms going around her waist to pull her into a hug.

“Mi sbagliavo su di te.” He mumbled to her shoulder and Y/N was left to think.

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They both missed the study group and dinner. Eventually, Sirius fell asleep and Y/N snuck out of his room before the Marauders came in. She didn’t want to go back to her dorm to face Lily and was extremely hungry. She then thought back to Sirius before going to grab food for both of them.

She slipped out into the night, being accompanied by Nearly Headless Nick who had a worried expression on his face. Y/N didn’t think much of it, if anything, she was rather annoyed; after the day she’s had, she wanted to be alone for a while.

The house-elves helped to line a large platter of food before she thanked them, making her way out of the kitchens. Nearly Headless Nick floated close, urging her to speed up.

“Sir Nick, I don’t mean to be rude, but why are you following me?”

“Making sure you get back to Gryffindor’s tower safely.”

That caught her attention. “Safely?”

Sir Nick’s eyes widened. “My poor girl, haven’t you heard?”

She and Sirius missed a lot when they were together. Nobody was quite sure what happened to Mary; she wouldn’t speak a word of it, not even to Marlene. All anyone knew was that Mary was a victim of Dark Magic and was found in a torpid state by Hufflepuff’s Head Girl; used as an initiation for Mulciber for the Death Eater ranks.

Word ran wild around the school of Mulciber’s expulsion and everyone was left on edge. Rumours went around of the Imperius curse. Mary was fine physically, Sir Nick told her, but mentally…

Y/N’s blood ran cold while Nick had a sorrowful smile of reassurance. “You’ll be fine — your friend will be fine but you need to come with me, now.”

But out of the corner of her eye, she’d seen a shadowy figure peek out from the shadows and Y/N drew her wand, Sir Nick floating right behind her.

“Lumos!”

There, tall and unwavering was Snape.

He marched up to her, but Y/N began to quickly walk away until he reached out and yanked her back by her shoulder with bone-crushing strength.

“Lay your hands off!” Sir Nick cut in.

Snape ignored him, “What did you say to her?!” His cheeks were tear-stained; eyes glowing with something dangerous and Y/N wanted to run. “She won’t even talk to me!”

Lily must’ve finally confronted him.

“Let go of her! Let go, let go!” Sir Nick chanted, wisping through Snape until he stumbled back.

Y/N turned around, and heard Snape mutter darkly, running off. A cold wave embalmed her as every hair on the back of her neck rose.

“Come with me now,” the ghost said. She didn’t need to be told twice.

The moment she stepped inside the common room, Y/N felt every bone in her body relax. Her footsteps were quiet and rounded into the main area when she saw everyone there. James and Lily were pacing back and forth. James tugged down on his hair; Peter was by Dorcas and Remus, Marlene looked deathly pale, the two Head Boy and Girls were there. Sirius sat in a chair, his arms cradling Toulouse as he nervously swallowed, face imprinted with distress.

Remus was the first to notice, his head snapping up once he sensed her presence. He stood, “Y/N!”

Everyone’s head snapped towards her. James shouted, running up to her. “Are you okay?” His hands went straight to her face and handled her like a doll. “My Godric! We were so worried — we were about to go and search for you!”

Sirius abruptly stood up; chair screeching, eyes wide but then quickly took a seat as everyone tossed him an odd look.

“I’m fine! I’m fine! I just missed dinner and wanted to get food!”

James tackled her into a hug and she almost dropped the plate of food.

Her eyes then travelled to Lily, who looked like she was on the verge of tears. Lily made a move to go up to her, hand slightly outstretched before stopping and quickly ran up the staircase. Everyone noticed but didn’t mention it. Then the Head Girl and Boy exited wordlessly.

Lily leaving fucking hurt.

“I heard from Headless Nick, how’s Mary?”

There was a collective sigh. Marlene got up, going over to her and pulled her into another hug and pulled back. Her usually smooth skin was now littered with furrowed lines. “She’s with Madam Pomfrey, I’m going to sneak into her room now. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Should any of us come?” Peter interjected.

“No… I don’t think she even wants me there. It might overwhelm her.”

“Be safe,” Dorcas said, her eyes wide with worry. And then she left.

Y/N made her way to sit down, James practically glued himself onto her as she plopped down next to Sirius, but still far enough to avoid suspicion.

“I’m glad you’re alright,” Remus said. “When you didn’t show up for the study sessions and dinner we all… thought the worst.”

“Sorry…” Then her eyes wandered to the staircase, thinking about Lily again.

Dorcas stirred in her seat. “Don’t take Lily’s absence as offence. She was really worried.”

“She suggested we go out to find you,” Peter said. “Also had a nasty row with Snape in the courtyards too. Everyone saw it. What a bell end, Snape.”

“I think, for now, we all ought to start pairing up,” came Remus. A solemn noise of agreement went around. Nobody talked for a while and Y/N placed the large metal tray of food on the table, no longer having the appetite to eat.

James was the one who broke the silence. “Where were you?”

Sirius stopped petting Toulouse and listened carefully. “I was busy talking to McGonagall. Something about careers. Then I just got tired and ended up sleeping through dinner.”

It technically wasn’t a lie and everyone seemed to believe it.

The air was tense and James wouldn’t stop fretting. Ultimately, Dorcas began to talk to Peter, Remus had a pensive look before going to crack open his book but seemed tense. It was only until she felt Sirius nudge her foot. She shifted her head gradually to examine him.

‘You okay?’ He mouthed, searching for any kind of lie or injury. His eyes were still puffy but overall looked better.

She shook her head. ‘I’m okay, you?’

A nod.

His reaction earlier had new questions arising but she saved that for another time. Her eyes darted to the plate of food and then to him. ‘It’s for you.’

But then she peered up and saw Remus watching their interaction. He seemed to be deep in thought and took a large inhale. She swore his eyes flashed a golden glow. Worried he was catching on, she initiated a conversation. “Moony?” She teased.

When he wore a judicious look during times like these, Y/N is reminded just how smart and intimidating he could be. It was like he knew everything before anyone else did.

“Sorry — thinking ‘bout something. Anyway —”

While occupied with Remus, Sirius glanced shyly over to Y/N and bent over to take a treacle tart, biting into it. The gesture was so heartbreakingly touching to him; so unexpected coming from her.

Sirius was left in a transitional phase. A lot of the inner turmoil he held — or thought he had — was released today and he didn’t know how to feel about it. Whatever irritation he held towards Y/N vanished. He looked forward to their bickering, shy forehead kisses and the feeling he got that was the opposite of dread or disgust after being with someone.

It felt nice, doing something he truly wanted for once — not engaging in intimacy out of coping rather than genuine interest.

But then, it unleashed everything else he wasn’t ready to deal with yet. His reaction to touch earlier had set off a bomb buried so deep within him but Merlin — he hadn’t realized it would’ve affected him that much.

Truth be told, now all he wanted to do was ruin her to bits and pieces but he was getting too ahead of himself — becoming attached too quickly and he already felt himself disconnecting. The only thought that lapsed in his mind was: run, boy, run.

It echoed through his head again, love wasn’t — isn’t a magic potion, far from it. So what was he doing? He needed to make a decision; continue doing whatever they were doing, work on himself or run.

Running away is easy. It’s always been easy. But he was tired of it.

And after the intense fear that paralyzed him, that made his mouth go dry and heart pound in his chest when nobody could find her when she left — after knowing what happened to Mary; it almost caused Sirius to spike and go into a panic attack.

Sirius wasn’t afraid of many things. After all, he’d already gone through so much that there wasn’t much to be afraid of anymore. But if he had to choose, and it was at the forefront of his mind, it would’ve been her.

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

Y/N headed to bed early as Dorcas waited for Marlene to return to the common room. It left her alone with Lily.

It was already dark, aside from a small lit candle that seeped through the cracks of Lily’s bed drapes. She did her evening routine before slipping into bed, listening to Lily faintly scribble in her diary. Only when Y/N felt herself relax, she heard Lily get out of bed and drew closer to her.

“Y/N?” Her voice was apprehensive. Y/N’s back faced her. She pretended to be asleep. “Psst… hey?”

Lily sighed before she sat down on the edge of the bed and didn't move for a long time. When they heard footsteps coming to their dorm was when she rose and uttered, “I’m glad you’re alright…Gave me a bit of a fright there… I’m sorry.”

Lily rushed back to her bed, drawing her curtains together when Marlene and Dorcas entered.

Y/N finally exhaled heavily, balling her blankets tightly. A thousand words, questions and thoughts were left unsaid. But, when she knew everyone finally was asleep, she uttered out an inaudible, I’m sorry too, and shut her eyes.

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

Translations

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Do you want to sleep with me?

Nessuno dei miei amanti mi ha toccato così senza volere qualcosa in cambio. Non mi fai sentire usato e ne ho he terrorizza.

None of my lovers have touched me like this without wanting something in return. You don't make me feel used and I'm terrified (of it).

Il modo in cui mi fai sentire mi spaventa e non riesco a gestirlo. / Non sono ancora pronto.

The way you make me feel scares me and I can't handle it. / I'm not ready yet.

Mi sbagliavo su di te.

I was wrong about you.

[multifandomrandomgirl]

An Unexpected Order PT2 - Sirius Black Sister!reader

TW: Cruciatus curse, abuse, violence, cutting, Regulus' death :(

Pt 1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt 4 Pt 5

"So, you're Sirius' sister?" The plump, ginger woman, Molly Weasley as I have been informed, asks uncertainly.

"Yep,  I was born in between Sirius and Regulus." I smile, sipping a mug of hot chocolate which Remus had handed me.

"What house were you in?" Harry asks, I sigh.

"Hufflepuff." I stare into my mug. "Is that a bad thing?" Harry asks. "Harry, when you're a Black, any house other than Slytherin is a bad thing. You get ridiculed for it, hated for it, hurt because you don't fit in with the family." My hand moves over my covered left arm.

"Did you get forced into getting the Dark Mark?" Sirius gasps, eyeing me up as I hover over it debating whether or not I should show them.

"No," I shake my head. "After you left home, things got much worse. Mum thought that I had helped you escape, night after night she came into my room demanding for my to tell her where you were and every time I told her I didn't know, she used the cruciatus on me. My personal favourite was the time she cut 'blood traitor' into my arm where the dark mark goes on Death Eaters." I pull my sleeve up, giving the crowd around the table a good look at my arm.

"She used the cruciatus on you as well?" Sirius' faces morphs into anger, grabbing my forearm gently and running his fingers over the words Blood Traitor which had scarred my arm. "Why?"

"Why what?" I ask confusedly, I swear I had just explained in some detail why she had done it. "Why didn't you join the Death Eaters?"

"Why would have I joined them? I'm not evil by nature, I was a Hufflepuff for Merlin's sake! Why would I join an army of evil pricks who wanted to kill off any muggles, muggle borns and 'blood traitors'? I could never fight for something that isn't right, that's what I told mum when she tried to take me to get the Dark Mark and be inducted into the Death Eaters. I flat out refused." I say, trying to hold back the tears as the memory came flooding into my mind.

---  5th of August, 1976 ---

"Mum, please don't make me do it." I try and pull my arm out of her grasp. "Y/N, you have to get inducted into the Death Eaters if you don't want to carry on being a family disappointment like your older brother." Mum pulls harder.

"What if I want to be like him?" I question, raising my eyebrow.

"Why don't you want to be a Death Eater?" Mother stops still, waiting for my answer impatiently.

"Why should I join an army to fight for something I don't agree with? I don't enjoy the fact that you people are murdering innocent people just because their blood isn't pure. It's disgusting. I cannot fight for something that isn't right. That's not what I do, I don't belong with the Death Eaters." I run a hand through my hair in frustration.

"Y/N, you are a Black, you HAVE to be a Death Eater. Your excuses are rubbish, you're becoming a Death Eater whether or not you like it."

"No."

"Crucio." I fall to the floor, the pain shoots through my body. I begin to writher as it was to much.

"Definitely not cut out to be a Death Eater, are you? Blood traitor." Mother spits at me, grabbing my wrist and using her wand to cut the words she had just mentioned into my arm, I let out a scream, a cry of pain. Mother cackled and continued.

------------------ End of flashback-----------

"Y/N, are you okay?" Sirius shakes me back to reality. "Yeah, sorry, the memory came back to me and I got lost in it." I say, a tear falling down my face.

"I'm sorry that she treated you like this. Why didn't you leave when you had the chance?"

"I couldn't, she'd have found faults in Regulus and hurt her 'oh so perfect' son. I couldn't let the same happen to Regulus, it wasn't fair on him. He didn't deserve it." I mutter.

"You mean, you stayed to protect that idiot brother of ours? The one who went along with everything our parents said? Y/n, that's ridiculous."

"One day you'll understand Sirius. Once I'm allowed to tell you the full truth, I will do." I sigh, I remember the day he died, Kreacher came sobbing into my room in the middle of the night, telling me how my younger brother had really died, swearing me to secrecy until the right moment came.

"What do you mean? Y/n, what are you hiding?" Sirius pushes. "Can't say a word."

"Urgh, fine. Did you stay with mum after Regulus died?" He asks, rolling his eyes.

"Of course. As horrible as she was, I couldn't leave her. Reggie's death broke her completely. I stayed with her, she was somewhat nicer to me in those last few years of her life. I wanted to leave but I couldn't, I'd have felt horrible leaving her alone. Crying every night. I couldn't be a third child that she had lost." I sigh.

"You know, as much as she tried to hide it, I think she genuinely was upset when you left too, she wasn't the same for a few days, other than every night coming to try and torture information out of me. I couldn't walk out on her when she was so upset. Mum cried in secret over you leaving, even though she had been so horrible to you. Then Regulus died - I couldn't do it. She probably wouldn't have cared, but I'd have felt so guilty."

"You're such a Hufflepuff." Sirius snorts, holding back a few tears that were threating to slip down his face. I pull him into a hug. "I missed you." I whisper.

"I shouldn't have left you." Sirius murmurs. "Sirius, it's fine. I'm glad that you got out while you had the chance. I was planning on moving out but then obviously, Regulus died so you know."

------------------------------

"Honestly, being an animagus is so fun." Sirius laughs, chugging down the last of his wine. "It really is." I giggle.

"You're an animagus?" Remus glances at me, taking my glass out my hand as I go to refill it for the eight, maybe ninth time. "Of course. What use would Hogwarts have for a bloody horse that shows up once a month eh? They have thestrals for the carriages." I say.

"Y/n, no." Harry says as I make a grab for my glass which Remus had placed onto the table. I pout.

"You were the horse?" Sirius' eyes widen.

"Yep! Hang on, let me prove it." I stand up, knocking my chair over.

"Y/n, you're drunk. Don't do it." Remus groans, leaning back in his own chair.

I transform into a horse, moving closer to Sirius, nuzzling him to the best of my ability.

"I always wondered where the hell the random horse came from when we entered the Shrieking Shack." Sirius pets my head.

I go to transform back but can't. What's wrong? Why can't I change back?

I gallop around the room in a state of panic. Arthur puts an arm out and slows me down by gently holding my mane.  Remus sits, a look of amusement plastered on his face.

"What did I tell you?" Remus shakes his head, walking over to me. I huff in horse as he leads me over to an emptier part of the kitchen.

"Stay here until you're sober enough to transform."

[sincerlypadfoot]

Tumbling Downhill (7)

~During the time of transfer Harry from 4 Privet Drive to the borrow everyone is stressed out, especially you, losing Mad eye,everything spirals, but a new curse strikes you and changes your life.

Word Count-3.2K

Send Requests Here

“Master Regulus is in this room?” Kreature asked as I finished explaining to him what was going on. “Master Regulus,” Kreature looked around the room.

“Please tell him we will be together soon,” Regulus said standing behind me. “Tell him that I miss him,”

“Regulus misses you Kreature, terribly, he wants me to tell you that you’ll be together soon,” I paused looking at Regulus then back at Kreature. “Will you help us?”

Kreature didn’t say anything but look at me, then he nodded his head. “Kreature will help, he’d do anything for Master Regulus,” 

“We leave in the morning,” Regulus said walking away, he watched him walk to the table and knock down a book, causing Kreature so humm.

“He’s really a ghost now,” Kreature whispered then turned himself, walking out of the room and shutting the door.

“Regulus,” I stood up and looked at Regulus who sat on the table looking at me. “In twenty four hours you’ll be alive,” I smiled walking towards the boy.

“I will be,” We were inches away from each other once again, his hands found their way to mine. “And my hands won’t be cold to touch, they’ll be warm, and free and,” Regulus stopped as I placed my hand on his face.

“What is it about you,” I whispered looking up at the boy. “You’re face will be warm, your eyes will be bright and your smile,” I stopped with a smile, watching Regulus curl his lips.

“You’re really willing to risk your life to save me?” Regulus asked jumping off the table, I backed up a bit, his hands left mine and arched my back, pulling me closer to him.

“I am, because something about you drags me in, and I get to save a life,” My mouth seems dry and I couldn’t look away from Regulus.

“Lia, Kreatures back,” I spun around and looked at Hermione who had a curious look on her face.

“Okay, yeah i’m coming, one second,” Hermione shut the door and I turned back to Regulus who had a frown on his face.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, come on, i’m interested to see who had stolen my locket,” Regulus grabbed my hand and we walked downstairs and saw Kreature standing with Dobby and Mundungus Fletcher who quivered in fear.

“Master Lia,” Dobby said catching my attention. “It’s nice to see you again,”

“It’s nice to see you again too Dobby,” I smiled grabbing his hands, I caught the eye of Mundungus who was being cornered in the room by Ron, Hermione and Harry.

“Where is the real locket Mundungus!” Harry asked pushing the fake locket in his face, I smirked looking at the fake locket, remembering Regulus telling me that he had thought of putting a fake locket and was proud of it.

“Why is it worth something?” Mundungus asked making everything feel disgusted.

“He still has it,” Hermione said.

“No, he just thinks that he hadn’t sold it for enough,” Ron mumbled walking towards Mundungus angry.

I looked down at the newspaper on the table, confused. “Hey guys,” I whispered picking up the paper and looked at Umbridge who had a big grin on her face. “Is this the locket you're looking for?” I asked pointing to Unbridged neck, that swung the locket around.

“Snachers, they took it off of me a couple weeks ago, I didn’t know how valued it was, or,”  Mundungus said making me gaw.

“This is just great!” Regulus cried out sitting down on the table, moving plates, Hermione was the only one to notice.

“Did you see that?” She whispered to me looking at where Regulus was sitting.

“What?” I asked playing dumb, I looked at Regulus who wasn't listening to us but his hands where on his face.

“I thought I saw something move, maybe i’m crazy,” Hermione said looking away, Regulus had his attention on me now.

“Maybe, maybe nothing works out in the end,” Regulus whispered shaking his head. “It’s just not meant to happen,”

“Regulus,” I whispered a bit to loud but no one noticed, I walked over to him and grabbed his hand. “Follow me,” I grabbed his hand and walked out of the room, looking back at everyone who was looking at Mundungus but Hermione, I gave her a sly smile then walked out of the room with Regulus.

“We can’t do it, the locket is with that creature, and I just, don’t know,” Regulus cried out in my room, I shut my door and looked at the boy. 

“We can do it Regulus, that's the point, they go find the locket well Kreature and I save your life, do you want it?” I asked leaning against my door.

“I don’t want you dying for something like me when you don’t even know anything about me!” Regulus screamed clenching his fists.

“Regulus calm down!” I yelled back walking towards him. “If you don’t wanna be saved then fine, I won’t waste a breath on someone who doesn’t wanna be saved!” I turned around facing the door and taking a breath.

“Lia,” Regulus placed his cold hand on my shoulder. “You don’t mean that,”

“No I don’t” I whispered not turning around, fixating my eyes on the door. I walked forward, tossing the door open and slamming it shut, the hallways were quiet but I knew where I was going.

“Hey,” Harry said standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Have you been crying?” He asked as I walked down and stopped before him.

“Just some personal stuff, what are you guys going to do about the locket?” I asked leaning against the wall, Regulus left my mind.

“Hermione thought about a polyjuice potion, we’re going to leave in the morning, what are you going to be doing?” Harry asked leaning against the wall opposite of me.

“I’m not sure, I might stay here, might go out, everything is complicated right now,” I frowned looking down at my feet.

“Wherever you’ll be going you stay safe alright, I don’t wanna hear on the radio that you died, promise,” Harry said making me look up at him.

“I promise I won’t die Harry,” I smiled, my eye caught Regulus who stood at the top of the stairs, with a frown. “I’ll see you later okay, there's some things I have to do,” I planted a kiss on Harry's cheek then walked up the stairs, before I could get a word out to Regulus he grabbed my hand and pushed me into a room.

“What are you doing?” I asked him as I watched as he rummaged around in the room, looking for something. “Regulus,”

“This, you’ll need this,” I watched as Regulus pulled out a wand and walked over towards me. “It’s my wand, and i’ll need it if you save me, if you still want to,”

I looked at Regulus for a second, unsure of what to say, I just looked at him. “I will,” I whispered leaning against the wall, I placed my hand on my forehead and just closed my eyes.

“Whats wrong? Is it the thing?” Regulus asked, I could feel the cold arm coming off of him and hitting me. “Lia,” his hand was placed on top of mine, taking my hands off my face.

“Nothing Regulus, I just needed to think,” I whispered keeping my eyes closed. “I’m gonna go to bed,” I opened my eyes, we were only inches away from each other.

“In twenty four hours i’ll be alive,” Regulus said with a smile. “And I don’t know how to repay you Lia, cause you could die,”  

“I’m going to bed Regulus, we can talk about it in the morning when we leave,” I whispered moving away from Regulus and walking out of his room, I shut the door behind me and apparated to my room, shutting and locking the door. “Locking doors is ussless,” I smiled looking at Regulus who stood infront of me.

“What did I do?” He asked placing his hand in mine again. “Tell me what I did please? He asked leaning his head forward, hitting mine.

“Nothing Regulus, nothing,” His head was cold against mine, actually freezing. “Just, I really think I should go to bed, we have a long day tomorrow, and i’m just not up to the chit chat,”

“Okay, I think you might be right,” Regulus moved his head off mine and moved to lean against my vanity. “We leave in the morning, I guess you’ll need all the sleep you can get,” He placed himself on my dresser, looking over at me.

“Yeah,” I lowly said crawling into my bed and turning to face Regulus. “Twenty four hours,” I whispered causing him to smile.

“And what if you die?” Regulus asked jumping off my dresser, moving himself to the end of my bed. 

“I won’t die, Remus needs me and I promised him that I would come back, so, I can’t die for him,” I hummed a rhythm on my fingers. “Tell me about yourself?” I asked moving against the wall and leaving room for Regulus to lay down beside me.

“Well,” Regulus grinned turning his body so we were facing each other, holding his head up with his elbow. “I’m dead if you didn’t know, bit of a nasty shock when I found out,” He joked making me let out a small giggle. 

“No Regulus,” I smiled looking at his face. “What were you like alive, in Hogwarts, what did you do for fun?” 

“I was in the slug club I guess,” I fell back with a giggle. “Yeah the slug club, cool old me,” Regulus let out a giggle too. “My life wasn’t so interesting, my parents were horrible people, my brother hated me, probably still hates me to this day,” Regulus paused smirking. “Then I died, and now i’m here, with you,”

“Well,” I started saying but yawned. “We have a long and very hard day tomorrow, get some sleep,” I rested my head just inches away from Regulus, we both faced each other, his arms now under the blanket.

“Goodnight Lia,” Regulus yawn as I closed my eyes, I felt his hand fall lightly on my face, moving my hair that tickled my nose. His hand now lightly rested on my face, I knew to enjoy the moment, not knowing how much it would last for.

Soon after Regulus breath became shallow and he had been sleeping, unsure that ghosts could sleep I opened my eyes slowly, my room was completely dark, the only thing lighting the room was the moonlight.

“Can’t sleep?” I turned and looked at Regulus who was laying on his back looking at the roof. “I haven’t slept in nineteen years, tomorrow night i’ll have the best sleep of my life,” He let out a little laugh.

“I can stay up with you, I can’t sleep either,” I let out a low breath falling onto my back and looking up at the roof. “Do you think that everything will ever go back to normal after all this?” 

Regulus stayed silent for a moment, so did I, just looking up at the roof doing the same. “I don’t think anything will ever be normal, different, very different for sure but never normal,” He paused keeping me quiet. “All the people going into this war, they’ll never be the same, we’ll never be the same, not a year or ten in the future, this moment will always stay with us,”

I frowned, knowing he was right, everything he had just said was completely right. “I know,” I whispered closing my eyes, feeling myself drift slowly off. “But it’s wise, to do what we’re doing, just,” I paused keeping my eyes closed. “I’ll fight for the people I love,”

I felt Regulus shift, his curly hair and cold face laying on my shoulder. My hands wrapped around his body and my face turning into his chest, the perfect temperature to sleep in.

~(One Long and Almost Sleepless Night Later)

“We’re leaving,” My head shot up from the pillow and I looked at Harry who stood at the door. “I just want to tell you to be safe, and I hope we see eachother again,”

Still half asleep, I stayed silent for a moment, looking at Regulus, who had fallen surprisingly to sleep beside me. “I hope we see eachother again soon, be safe, tell Hermione and Ron that too,”

Harry gave me a slight smile, something in his smile told me his was nervous but confident. “I will,” Harry walked out shutting the door, as the door shut Regulus wrapped his arms around me with a smile.

“Are you ready for today?” He asked looking over me, he had fallen asleep cause he’s eyes were half shut flinching at the light, and he had lines under his eyes from the way he ha been sleeping.

“I though ghosts couldn’t fall asleep?” I asked smiling at the slight of his face my hands went to my eyes rubbing them away.

“I didn’t think so either, you should get ready, the sooner we leave the sooner it’ll all be over,” Regulus flipping out of the bed, running his hands through his hair.

“You’re right,” I followed his tracks standing up, my hair fell from the mess it was in, almost to the middle of my back. “I’m gonna go find kreature let him know we’re leaving soon,” 

Regulus nodded and I walked out of the room, it was silent, Harry, Hermione and Ron were gone and KReature was alone somewhere in the huge house we were in.

“Kreature we’re leaving soon, where are you!” I shouted walking along the rooms, finally getting to the end of the hall, the junk room. “Kreature,” I whispered opening the door.

The room was full of Walburgas things, all stacked in here since Sirius hadn’t wanted to get ride of it or felt bad since it was his mom.

“Blood traitor in my house,” I jumped at the voice, looking at the painting of Walburga hung up on the wall. “What do you think your doing,”

“I’ve lived here for seventeen years, don’t act surprised,” I rolled my eyes looking at the disquest on Walburgas face as she looked back at me.

“Yeah seventeen years living with the disappointment of my son, get out of here, get out of here!” She sqreeched, I shut the door in angry turning around to Kreature. “We’re leaving, are you ready?” I asked crossing my arms.

“Kreature is ready, but Master Regulus must be saved,” Kreature grumbled. “I will take you there,” He turned around, walking down the hallway and disappearing down the stairs. 

I walked back into my room annoyed, watching Reglus pack things into a bag he had found. “What you doing there?” I asked walking fully into my room and grabbing a sweater from my closet and tossing it on.

“Just packing the bear essentials, just you know, incase anything happens, which i’m sure things will go fine, but you know,” Reglus mumbled on, tossing his wand in the bag.

“Regulus put the bag down and look at me,” I crossed my arms, watching Regulus close up the bag and drop it to the ground, slowly turning to me. “What’s wrong?”

Regulus hand rubbing the back of his head, looking around the room, not making eye contact at all with me. “I don’t want you to die, so you have to promise, if anything goes wrong, you’ll leave and won’t die for me,” He hands met mine, now looking into my eyes.

I stayed silent for a moment, leaning my head forward, letting myself fall on Reglus chest. “I promise,” I whispered closing my eyes.

“Come on then, we should get this over and done with,” Regulus voice went cheerful, picking up my bag from the floor and grabbing my hand. “Where did you say Kreature was?” He asked as we walked out of the room.

“Kreature is ready,” The little house elf walked out of the room that Walburga was in and looked at me, Regulus let go of my hand with a smile, turning to me. “Grab my hand,”

“I’ll follow you there, don’t worry about me,” Regulus planted a kiss on my cheek as I took Kreatures hand. My stomach twisted as were disaperated out of the Black house, for a couple seconds, everything was chaos around me, my feet felt like floating but then landed on the hard ground.

“How was that?” Regulus asked standing infront of me with a smile, I smiled back then faded, looking around the dark place we were in.

“Where are we?” I whispered turning all the way around then making my way back to Regulus and Kreature, still unable to see Regulus.

“In a cave in the middle of Vast lake, come now,” Kreature growed walking forward, I felt nervous but followed him down, Regulus stayed beside me looking around.

“This place makes me sick just being here,” Regulus whispered, I slipped my hand in his as we got to the bottom.

“What now?” I asked looking at Kreature who took a knife out of his pocket.

“Give me your hand, trust me,” I growled, I looked at Regulus who nodded, I placed my left hand out. Kreature gripping my hand, slicing the knife across and smearing my blood, I flinched a bit in pain but trusted Kreature and Regulus.

The entrance opened and we continued walking down, I gripped my hand tight, walking down a chrysalis walkway, mesmerised by the shinning.

Kreature flicking his wrist, causing a light to admit out, lighting up the cave, it was huge, there was a tiny island in the middle of the cave. I watched as Kreature grabbed a rope, handing it to me, I pulled heavily, backing up, Reglus  joined, pulling with me, a boat came up the surface.

“So the plan, you distract well I go diving for his body, that is under the lake, is probably guarded by tons of inferies,” I whispered looking into the water as I got into the boat.

“Kreature will charm you with fire, you won’t burn, but they won’t be able to touch you, it won’t last so long so you’ll have to be quick,” Kreature had already thought about the plan in his head.

“Quick,” I whispered looking into the water, not a sight of anything. “Are you guys sure that there are things in this lake, it looks abandoned,” I was about to stick my hand in the water but Regulus grabbed it.

“They come out once you touch the water, so don’t touch it unless you’d like to join me,” He let go of my wrist as we hit shore. 

Kreature got off first, followed by me, then Regulus.

“I promise you won’t stink horribly after this,” Kreature cackled touching my skin, the colors of fire admitted all over me, not burning me.  “You don’t have much time, we can disapparated as soon as your up,” 

I nodded my head, jumping right into the water, Kreature had placed the bubble headed charm over me, I hadn’t even thought of that which I was grateful. Inferies gathered all over, screeching at the touch of me.

I swam around, looking at all the bodies, then seeing the faint black haired boy, I smiled swimming down to him and grabbing his arm, the inferies screeched more but I ignored it, swimming up with Regulus’ body dragging behind me.

The color of red slowly started to wear off, concerning me but I didn’t stop, almost at the top, I took a breath of air as I got up looking around, Regulus was nowhere in sight but Kreature put his hand out, and I grabbed out, disappearing out of here.

[lovesdarkness]

Star Crossed - Chapter 2

Warnings: Nothing for this one. Pretty safe. Maybe a slight bit of angst near the end, but nothing overly big.

If you would like to be added to the tag list to be notified when new chapters are up, feel free to let me know

Word count: 8355

previous chapter  -  next chapter

Chapter Two

Everything was so blurry and distorted that Lyra had to blink as she looked around. Rubbing her eyes didn’t help and it was frustrating. Looking down the hall she thought she could see the faint figures of Sirius and his brother. Were they talking? She couldn’t tell. Everything sounded like it was under water and she couldn’t make out any words they said. She tried walking towards them but for some reason she couldn’t get close. It was like she was stuck walking in place.

“Bloody hell…” she muttered to herself as she gave up trying to approach them. When she turned to head down the hall she blinked and found herself in the Gryffindor common room. Looking around she saw Lily, James, and Remus sitting by the fire talking. Her ability to walk suddenly restored, she approached them, standing next to Remus. 

“With everything that’s going on in the world and the war looming over us, I’m worried about the well being of the other students. Especially the young ones,” Lily said as she looked around at them. “I found a fifth year girl in the bathroom crying because she’s so stressed about everything.”

“I overheard some of the younger students in the library too. They’re so scared that it’s affecting their ability to focus on their classes.” Remus said with a frown. “They’re still kids, they shouldn’t be worried about things like war. They should be laughing and having fun with their friends. They should be acting like kids.”

James had remained silent, nodding his agreement. Letting out a sigh he reached up to rub his face. “I feel like as Head Boy and Girl we should be able to help them. But what can we do?” he asked, looking around at them all helplessly.

“What if we provide distractions?” Lyra spoke up, everyone looking at her. “Like try and arrange some activities every week. My Muggle friends have dances for almost everything at their schools. They have a Halloween dance and a Christmas dance before the winter holiday. A Valentine's Day dance. We could do an end of the year talent show. Maybe things like that would help distract all the students and cheer them up.”

“Those are all wonderful ideas Lyra!” Lily exclaimed with a grin. “Maybe Dumbledore should have made you Head Girl instead.”

Her face flushing dark Lyra shook her head. “Oh I don’t know about that. James might get upset.” 

Everyone laughed at the comment till they heard the click of the common room door. Looking over they saw Peter scurry in looking rather troubled.

“Hey Pete, what’s up?” James asked.

“Have any of you seen Sirius?” Peter asked as he stopped in front of them. He wrung his hands as he looked among them with anxious eyes. “I heard he got into a horrible row with Regulus earlier, and he hasn’t been seen since. I’ve looked for him everywhere but I can’t find him.”

Everyone shook their heads as they looked around at each other then back to Peter. “No we haven’t seen him,” James said. “Don’t worry though I’m sure he’ll turn up. He might just need some time alone is all.”

“Yeah you know how Sirius gets,” Lily said. “He’s very guarded with his feelings and doesn’t like people seeing when he’s upset or angry. When he’s ready he’ll come to us.”

Lyra nodded as she looked over at Lily. When she turned her head back to Peter the five of them were standing in Dumbledore’s office. They were all lined up in front of his desk while the headmaster looked at them solemnly over his half moon spectacles.  Professor McGonagall stood next to him with a somber expression on her face.

“Thank you all for coming as quickly as you did.” came Dumbledore’s soft voice as his eyes fell upon each of them. “I’m afraid the news that I have to break to you is rather...difficult.”

The five of them all looked around at each other with looks of curiosity and confusion before looking back to the headmaster. Something was wrong, they could tell. They could feel it. Why were the looks in both professors eyes so heartbreaking?

“What exactly is going on Professor?” James asked, voicing what they all were thinking. “And where’s Sirius? Why isn’t he here? We haven’t seen him since yesterday.”

They watched as McGonagall sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. Her hand grasped the desk to steady herself and for a moment they thought that she might collapse. “Tell them, Albus.” she said, her voice broken.

“Tell us what?” Remus asked, an anxious tone to his voice. Anxiety that they all were feeling.

“That is why I have called you all here.” Dumbledore answered, sliding his chair back and getting to his feet. “You are all Mr. Black’s closest friends, which is why I called you here so I could tell you personally before it is announced to the rest of the school.”

All of their voices came out in a chorus as they spoke over each other.

“Tell us what?” 

“Announce what?” 

“What is it?” 

“Where’s Sirius?” 

“Tell us Professor…”

Feeling her heart start pounding in fear Lyra brought her hands up and clutched them to her chest. She suddenly found it hard to breathe as a terrified feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. There was a reason Sirius wasn’t there, and she didn’t know why but it made her feel sick.

The group fell silent as Dumbledore held his hand up. “I’m afraid there has been...an incident.” The headmaster started, looking to each one of them once more. “It seems that sometime last night Mr. Black took a tumble from the balcony of the Astronomy tower. He...his body was found this morning…”

“Wait WHAT? NO!” James screamed. “No you’re lying...it’s not true!”

All the air seemed to be sucked out of Lyra’s lungs, and she couldn’t pull any in. She dropped to her knees feeling like she was suffocating. The voices of everyone in the room faded away to a deafening silence. Sirius? Dead? He couldn’t be. If he was she wanted to die right along with him. As she looked around everything blurred together and faded till there was nothing but darkness and all she could hear was the rush of blood in her ears. Or was it wind?

Lyra’s eyes snapped open as she let out a strangled gasp.

“Sirius!” she cried out, bolting up in her bed. Clutching her hands to her heart as it raced she gasped and panted for breath. Her eyes darted around in fear and confusion before realizing that she was in her dorm, safe in her bed, and it was the middle of the night. Letting out a sigh of relief she lay back on her pillow and closed her eyes, her hand coming to rest on her forehead.

Another one of those damn dreams. It was so bloody vivid she could have sworn it was real. Letting out a groan she rolled over in her bed and reached for the clock on her nightstand. It was 12:30 in the morning. 

“Seriously?” she whined as she flopped back onto her pillow, draping her arm over her eyes. Then like clockwork the ache started. It pressed into the middle of her forehead and quickly spread up to her crown and around to her temples. Just like every other time she had one of those dreams. They’d been happening off and on for the last three years, at first she’d only have one every three or four months. But now they were coming with more frequency, at least 3 a month. And with the increased frequency came the increased intensity of the headaches afterwards. In the beginning she’d get nothing more than a dull ache. Now it felt like her head was splitting open. 

“Hey Lils do you have any aspirin?” she called out. “Lils?” 

Then she remembered that Lily wasn’t there anymore. She was head girl now, which meant that she was living in the Head Dorm with James. Lyra was crushed when she had learned about the change in sleeping arrangements, as Lily was the only person she shared her room with. They had been the only two girls sorted into Gryffindor their year. Best friends from the start, always together. And now she was alone.

Sitting up in her bed she looked around the room and frowned. The view was depressing. It was so dark and cold without Lily there, and she felt so lonely without anyone to talk to. At that moment it was just too much and she had to get out of there.

“If there’s any house elves floating around, something to get rid of this headache would be wonderful.” she muttered as she climbed out of bed to fetch her pale blue housecoat, pulling it on. Grabbing her wand she slipped it into the pocket before heading out of the room and making her way down the stairs to the common room.

The room was infinitely better than her dark and empty dorm. The lights were off but a fire crackled merrily in the fireplace, casting a warm orange glow around the space. As she walked over to the couch an amused smile crept across her lips as she spotted a blanket folded up at the end of the couch with a potion bottle on top of it and a note from one of the house elves. She took a sniff of the potion before drinking it down and sitting on the couch. Grabbing the blanket she wrapped it around herself as she curled up by the warmth of the fire.

“Guess I’ll sleep down here…” she muttered to herself as she lay back on the couch and rested her head against the pillows. The potion worked quickly to ease the splitting pain in her skull but no matter how hard she tried she could not fall asleep. Her mind was just too noisy. Sitting up she leaned against her knees and raked her fingers through her hair. She didn’t see herself getting to sleep any time soon and needed something to distract herself. And there was only one thing that came to mind.

Reaching for her wand she swished it in the air. “Accio ballet slippers.” she muttered. As she waited for the garments to float down the stairs she turned to the couches and the table. “I’m gonna need some space…” she murmured to herself as she swished her wand again, and with a quick charm the couches and tables all moved to the other side of the room and stacked themselves up against the wall. When she turned around the slippers were sitting in front of the fireplace.

Sitting on the floor she grabbed the slippers and bent them back and forth a little before slipping them onto her feet and fastening the ribbons around her ankles. Pointing her wand to the wireless the sound of classical music started floating faintly around the room. Closing her eyes a smile spread across her lips as she started swaying back and forth, letting the notes consume her as she started stretching and warming up. 

When she got to her feet she stretched each leg up above her head before going through the various foot positions. “First position...second position...third position…” she’d murmur to herself as she moved her feet and arms through each position. Once she had gone through the basics she moved on to the more advanced techniques as the music played, pointing her feet and extending her arms. She reached forward and she reached back, going up en pointe a few times. This was the one thing she missed the most when she was away at school. It felt good to put some music on and dance her worries away for a few hours.

A few pieces played as she made up her own steps, pirouetting in the middle of the room. But it was when the main theme for Swan Lake started to play that she felt joy spring into her chest. It was her favourite production, and for some reason she identified with the sad and heartbroken Princess Odette. Closing her eyes she let the music take over her as she danced to it, arms raised as she took graceful pointed steps around the room. She twirled and leapt around, her arms held out gracefully as her feet fluttered across the floor. They seemed to move all of their own accord, arms raising and lowering like feathers as she lost herself to the music.

As the music started to take on a more dramatic pace, and so did her dance. Holding her arms out in a circle in front of her she stepped and twirled across the floor on her toes at a quick pace, her bathrobe fanning out around her. She was still en pointe when she finished her last turn and she leaned forward putting all her weight on one foot, her other leg extending up behind her as she reached an arm forward. When she opened her eyes she was shocked to see Sirius standing in the stairway. Letting out a surprised gasp she lost her balance and tumbled to the floor.

"Ow…" She groaned as she pushed herself up. After choking back a laugh Sirius was instantly at her side. 

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." He whispered. Flashing his wand the furniture all flew back to where it belonged as he easily lifted her up into his arms and walked over to the couch. "Are you ok?" He asked as he set her down on the soft surface, looking her over for any injuries. 

"I think I banged up my knee a bit." Lyra said with a wince. Untying her robe she opened it up to inspect her knee and sure enough there was a bruise and a slight bump forming. "It doesn't seem to be too bad though. It hurts but I think I'll live."

Reaching forward to gently take her leg into his hands, Sirius frowned as he brushed his thumb over the discolouration before casting his eyes to her. "I have just the thing to help." He said, giving her a flirty wink before leaning down and pressing his lips to her knee.

Lyra's eyes went wide and she choked back a gasp, her whole body going warm and flushing from the action. She closed her eyes as she felt a tingle where his lips touched. It took everything she had to not reach out and slip her fingers through his hair. "Sirius…" she whispered, her mind racing with questions. Why was he doing this? Was it just his usual tormenting and teasing? He did like to fluster her, he admitted so himself. But now with the knowledge of how she felt, why was he doing it? Was this just meant to be his normal teasing as if nothing had changed? Or despite his claims that he didn’t want to be involved with anyone, was this something more? 

Confusion whirled through her mind and her heart as she tried to silence the onslaught of intrusive thoughts. Damn her anxiety for making her over think every single small action. When she opened her eyes again he was looking up at her from where he knelt on the floor, gently cradling her leg in his hands.

“Better?” he asked innocently with wide, hopeful eyes. It was clear then that he was still oblivious to the effect his actions had on her.

Swallowing the nervous lump in her throat Lyra smiled and nodded. “Yes, all better.” she assured him as she pulled her leg from his grasp and covered it with her housecoat again. “What are you doing up?” she asked after clearing her throat, trying to put the oddly intimate moment out of her mind. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Sirius chuckled, moving to take a place next to her on the couch. He draped his arm along the back of the couch as he reached for a stray strand of her hair, twirling it around his fingers. “I woke up a while ago and thought I heard music playing down here. I came to investigate and found you down here twirling about.” He raised his other hand and pointed, twirling it in a circle.

Lyra’s eyes widened slightly and she bit her lip. “How long were you watching?”

“For a while. You were so mesmerizing, I couldn’t tear my eyes away,” Sirius admitted, his voice soft. “Lyra I had no idea you could dance like that, it was so…breathtaking.”

Her face flushing dark at the comment Lyra grinned uncontrollably. “Sirius stop…” she simpered, giggling as she reached up to cover her face.

“Stop hiding Lyra!” Sirius growled in response. Slipping off the couch he moved to kneel in front of her, reaching out to grab her wrists and pull her hands away from her face. He ignored her shocked look as he continued. “Stop hiding yourself. You do it every time I or someone else compliments you. Take the compliment, wear it like a badge of pride. You are unbelievably talented in so many ways. See it in yourself and strut it for all the world to see.”

Lyra stared at him with wide eyes, still shocked at the sudden change of tone he gave her. “O-ok…” she managed to croak out.

Sirius watched her before letting out a sigh. “Lyra, do you love dancing?” he asked, his expression softening. She nodded. “How does dancing make you feel?”

Lowering her head she chewed on her lip as she thought about his question. “Happy. Free,” she answered after a short silence. “For a moment, beautiful.”

“...you don’t think you’re beautiful?” He asked. There was a long silence from her, and when she lowered her face and shook her head his eyebrows rose in surprise before he frowned. “Look at me.” He said. He felt a tightness in his chest when she shook her head again and refused. “Don’t make me go through this again like on the train...look at me.” He felt her arms start to tremble in his grasp as a soft sob reached his ears. 

“I’m just plain.” Came a barely audible whimper.

He felt his heart break. Releasing her wrists from his grasp Sirius reached out to place a hand on either side of her head, forcing her tear stained face to look up at him. “Shut up and listen to me, and I’ll repeat it as many times as necessary,” he said slowly, licking his lips as he gathered his thoughts. “You are beautiful, Lyra. You are the most beautiful person in this entire fucking school. Do you hear me? You honestly think those tarts caked in makeup and short skirts are beautiful? No...they’re not. They’re vapid and shallow with ugly hearts and the only thing they’re good for is a shag. And trust me sometimes they’re not even good for that. Your beauty shines far brighter than they could ever wish.”

Lyra sniffed and sucked in a breath as she listened to him, her bottom lip trembling as more tears slipped down her cheeks. Slowly she reached her hands up to cover his, her fingers wrapping around his wrists.

Sirius swallowed as his eyes wandered over her face, his thumbs gently caressing her tears away as he continued. “You are special, and beautiful. Any man would be lucky to…”

“Sirius stop!” 

He instantly fell silent, realizing then what he was about to say. How could he be so foolish? Here he was trying so hard to support and encourage her, he’d momentarily forgotten about the feelings she harboured for him. He could see the hurt written across her features plain as day. How could he sit there and tell her that any man would be the luckiest to have her, when the one her heart wanted was sitting right in front of her? And he was completely incapable of loving her the way she deserved. 

I really need to be more careful. 

He released his hold on her, pulling his hands away and giving her space. “I’m sorry. I’m a huge fucking idiot...I can’t believe I…” he shook his head as he let out a sigh, leaning back on his legs. “I’m just not used to...I sometimes forget that you…”

“It’s ok.” Lyra said, shaking her head. She swallowed as she reached up to wipe her face with the sleeves of her housecoat. He had assured her that he wouldn’t let her feelings make things awkward between them. But more and more over the few short weeks since that day on the train she was starting to wonder if it truly was possible. Once her face was dry of tears she lowered her hands to look at him, he was watching her anxiously. “Really Sirius...I promise it’s ok.” she assured him, reaching down to pat the spot on the couch next to her.

“Alright.” he answered, moving to sit next to her. “I mean it though...I mean all of it. I swear. You’re beautiful and talented. Don’t hide it. Be bold, proudly flaunt it for everyone to see.”

Lyra just shook her head and smiled, leaning over to rest her head against his shoulder. “Thank you. I’ll try. Promise.” As much as her heart hurt at that moment, the one thing that helped ease the ache in her chest was knowing how much he cared. 

And that he thought she was beautiful.

Turning his head he gently kissed her crown, checking the time on a nearby clock before reaching an arm around to drape over her shoulder. “It’s nearly three am. You still need to tell me what you are doing up at this hour.”

Lyra let out a groan as she raised her head, reaching up to rub at her forehead. She didn’t want to talk about the headache inducing dreams, especially that new one. It would just worry him more. “I just...can’t sleep,” she said with a shrug, looking over to him. “Lily and I didn’t have any other dorm mates, it was just me and her. And now that she’s gone to the head dorm the room is just...too quiet and empty. It’s depressing. There’s no one to talk to. I’m really lonely up there all by myself.” 

Hearing the situation she was in made Sirius frown. “That’s...not good at all,” he said, gently rubbing her arm. “I mean I’d love to go up and keep you company, Remus snores louder than my bike engine and it can be quite annoying. But, boys can’t go up into the girls' dorms.” he said, smiling when Lyra laughed a little.

“Oh so that’s the noise I hear ringing through the stairwell every night?” she asked with a playful grin. “My room is so silent I can hear him perfectly.”

“I’m going to tell him you said that.” he smirked.

“Don’t you dare.”

Sirius just grinned and winked. “You know, you could always come up to our room during the times where you feel a little too lonely,” he continued with the previous train of thought. “With James in the head dorm with Lily, there’s a spare bed now. I’m sure Remus and Peter wouldn’t mind.”

Lyra flushed dark at the suggestion, biting her lip. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that. It’s the boys dorm…” she whispered. 

That was something Sirius hadn’t thought about. It was one thing to go up and visit and sit with them, but sleeping in the same room was an entirely different matter. “Well, think about it at least. But in the meantime, did you want me to stay down here with you tonight?” he asked, reaching up to slip his fingers through her hair. “If you don’t want to go back to your lonely room I mean. We could curl up on the couch together, or you could sleep on the couch and I can sleep on the floor. In the morning I’ll wake you up before everyone comes down so you can go get ready for class.”

“There’s two couches you know.” Lyra pointed out.

“Yeah I know. I just thought you might want me to stay close. We did promise to stay close to each other and protect each other after all.” 

“We did, didn’t we,” Lyra answered softly, biting her lip. Turning her head she looked along the couch. “Well...I don’t think we both would fit on the couch together.” 

“I’m sure we can manage,” Sirius said with a chuckle. Standing up briefly he moved them around a bit so they’d fit on the couch together better. Leaning back against the arm of the couch he reached for the blanket and draped it around her as he situated her between his legs, pulling her forward to lay against his chest. “How’s that? Are you comfy?” he asked, reaching up to stroke the back of her head.

To say Lyra was nervous was an understatement. Her face was flushed dark and her heart raced as she lay her head against his chest. “Yes, this is nice.” she whispered, smiling as she listened to his heart. She closed her eyes and let out a content sigh, cuddling into him as his arms wrapped around her. 

“Good,” he whispered back, twirling a strand of her hair around his fingers. Leaning his head forward he kissed the top of her head. “Get some sleep now love.”

No matter how she tried though sleep wouldn’t come. That dream she had was still replaying in her head. Haunting her. She felt tears well up in her eyes as she remembered the pain she’d felt in her chest.

 “I had a dream that you died...you were dead…” came her soft whisper a short while later, followed by a sniffle.

Sirius’ eyebrows raised in shock as he looked down at her. “What?”

“Yeah, it felt so real. Dumbledore had called us all to his office...except you weren’t there,” she whispered. “He told us you had died. My chest hurt and I couldn’t breathe. I thought that if you were dead I wanted to die too.” 

Sirius closed his eyes as he tightened his arms around her. No wonder she had been down here. If he’d had a dream that one of his friends had died, he wouldn’t have been able to get back to sleep either. Leaning forward he kissed the top of her head once more. “I’m so sorry love,” he whispered, rubbing her back in an effort to comfort her. “It was just a dream. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”

“Promise?” she asked. Her voice was soft and meek, almost like a child's.

He couldn’t help but smile at the question. “Promise,” he assured her, nuzzling into her hair. “Now go to sleep, love. Please? You need to rest.” he insisted. 

“Alright. Goodnight Siri.” she said, letting out a sleepy yawn.

Sirius lay there watching the fire, listening to the soft sound of her breathing as she drifted off to sleep. Letting his head fall back against the couch he closed his eyes, reaching a hand up to cradle the back of her head as she lay against his chest. He may not have been able to love her, not in the way she needed anyway. He didn’t know how. But he damn well would do everything in his power he could to keep her safe. 

*

When he opened his eyes again the fire had long gone out. He looked around blearily to see the faint blue of the sky outside the window starting to lighten as morning came. After letting out a yawn he looked down at the girl that was curled up against him fast asleep. The corner of his mouth turned up slightly as he watched her, reaching up to slip his fingers through her hair as it fanned out over his chest. She looked so peaceful as she slept that he hated the thought of having to wake her, especially when she’d been having such a hard time sleeping.

He gave her a little bit longer to sleep before he felt they were cutting it close. The last thing he wanted was someone coming down and seeing them in this position. He didn’t need rumours floating about that she had slept with him in anything but a purely platonic manner. Reaching his hand up he slipped his fingers through her hair before brushing them down along her cheek. “Lyra,” he whispered, tenderly stroking her cheek before reaching down to squeeze her shoulder. “Come on love it’s time to wake up.”

Lyra let out a soft groan as she shifted in his arms. “Not yet…” she mumbled, pressing her face into his chest. After a brief moment though something clicked in her head. She wasn’t in her room, she wasn’t in her bed. She was with Sirius. Her eyes snapped open and her head shot up as she looked at him with sleep induced confusion. “Huh...what…”

Sirius let out a laugh and shook his head. “Do you not remember anything from last night?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. He watched as her brows furrowed together for a moment but saw the moment her memory slowly came back to her and a small smile formed. “Yeah,” he laughed with a nod, his hand reaching up to brush her long messy hair out of her face. “Did you sleep well?” 

Moving to pull out of his embrace and sit up Lyra nodded as she stretched her arms over her head. “Yeah I did actually. Better than I have in ages.” She let out a yawn and raked her fingers through her hair. “I should sleep with you more often.” As soon as the words left her lips she froze, face flushing dark as she looked at him with wide eyes. “I mean...I...um…” she sputtered.

Throwing his head back and barking out a laugh Sirius shook his head before sitting up and leaning over to her. “I know what you meant,” he said as he leaned in to kiss the side of her head. “Now get upstairs and go get dressed. I have to go talk to James for a minute, but I’ll see you at breakfast.” She blushed and nodded, giving him a smile before getting to her feet and heading up to the girls dorms. Letting out a sigh he watched her go and headed up to his own room.

Remus was just climbing out of bed as he walked in and his friend gave him a confused look. “What are you doing up already?” he asked with a look of bewilderment. In the mornings it usually took much prodding and poking at Sirius before he would finally get out of bed. 

“Long story that I don’t have time to get into right now.” Sirius said with a wave of his hand as he walked over to his trunk to get a fresh uniform and robes. Heading into the bathroom he washed up and got dressed for the day of classes. When he walked back out both Remus and Peter were nearly finished dressing. “Alright, I need to go and talk to James about some Quidditch stuff. I’ll see you guys at breakfast.”

The two of them waved as he grabbed his bag and headed out the door. In truth it wasn’t James he needed to talk to, it was Lily. Walking quickly he made his way through the halls to the head dorm and murmured the password, which James and Lily had instantly given their friends whenever they wanted to visit, to go in. James was standing in the main room when he walked in and looked over with a grin.

“Mornin’ Pads,” he greeted as he pulled his bag over his shoulder. “Are you ready for the Quidditch tryouts after classes are done? There’s some great applicants this year.”

“Yeah that’s great. I’m sure we’ll find some wonderful players.” Sirius responded. Then he went directly to the reason for his visit. “Hey is Lily still here?” he asked, looking around. “I need to talk to her.”

“Oh yeah, she’s just in her room getting ready.” James said, nodding to a door at the other end of the room that had a gold nameplate that read ‘Lily’ across it, next to it was a door that read ‘James’. “I’ll see if she’s nearly done.” he continued, walking over and knocking on the door gently before slipping in. 

Sirius looked around the room as he waited, spotting some of Lily’s books on a table and James’ Quidditch gear strewn across the couch. He couldn’t help but think it was almost like a perfect little flat for the two of them. When the click of the door caught his attention he looked back to see James emerging. 

“She’s just finishing up, but says you can go in.” 

Sirius nodded before walking over and slipping into the room. “Hey,” he said, the door clicking shut behind him.

Lily was standing in front of her mirror brushing her hair as she looked back at him and smiled. “Hey what’s up?” she asked as she effortlessly ran the tool through her fiery locks. “James said you looked kind of intense. Is something wrong?” 

“No, not really,” Sirius answered, biting at his lips. “But I need to talk to you about Lyra.”

Her eyebrows knitting together in concern Lily set the brush down on her dresser and walked over to Sirius. Taking his hand she guided him to her bed so they could sit down. “What is it?”

Sirius looked down at his lap, a slight frown forming as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I’m...worried about her. I think she’s having trouble adjusting to you not being there.” He fell silent a moment, biting his lip before casting his eyes to Lily. “I heard music in the common room at an ungodly hour this morning and went down to find her there. She said she hasn’t been able to sleep well since you’ve been gone. Described the room as depressing, and said she’s lonely every night without anyone to talk to.”

Lily closed her eyes and let out a sigh, reaching up to rub her forehead. “I was worried about this.” 

“I offered to let her stay with me and Remus and Pete once in a while when she gets overly lonely, now that James isn’t there there’s a spare bed. But I don’t think she’d be very comfortable with that. And I...we’re not able to go up to the girls dorms to keep her company.” Sirius continued, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “I stayed with her in the common room last night and she slept ok, but we can’t just keep sleeping down there. The only thing I can think of is...I mean I know you enjoy being here alone with James, but do you think once in a while you could go spend a night or two with her? I loathe knowing that she’s lonely up there…”

Opening her eyes Lily looked over at Sirius with a small smile. It was nice to see him caring about someone so much. She couldn’t help but feel that Lyra was wrong, that her friend was greatly under estimating Sirius. Somewhere deep down she knew that Lyra was exactly what he needed. And now that he knew how their friend felt about him she hoped he would start to see it as well. It might take time, maybe even an immense amount of time, but she knew he’d find his way there sooner or later.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. I should go and stay with her some nights,” she answered with a nod. “And I’ll talk to James about letting her stay here once in a while as well. I hate the thought of her being up there alone too. Why don’t you head down to breakfast now? James and I have a couple quick head duties to take care of and we’ll meet you all in a few minutes.”

Sirius nodded and bid Lily farewell before heading out of her room. 

“Everything ok?” James asked as he watched his friend slip out.

“Yeah it should be. See you at breakfast.” Sirius answered with a wave, heading out of the common room.

James looked over at Lily as she walked out of her room with her bag over her shoulder. “So what was all that about.” he asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

Smiling as she walked over to her boyfriend Lily leaned up to kiss his cheek. “He’s worried about Lyra.” she answered, making James grin. “And with good reason. Apparently she hasn’t been able to sleep, and she’s depressed being by herself. I knew that me leaving the dorm would be hard for her, but I didn’t think she’d struggle this much. I think I’m going to spend a night or two here and there with her to keep her company. And maybe sometimes she could stay here?”

James smiled and nodded, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “That’s perfectly fine.” he murmured against her skin before pulling away. “So how long do you think it’ll take him to figure out that he’s completely into her?”

"Oh, you think he is?" Lily asked, looking up at him. It amused her to see that James knew his best friends feelings better than his friend did. 

“Well yeah. He has been since last year and he’s bloody oblivious to it. Look at the way he is with her,” James said as the two of them headed out of the common room. “She’s the only girl he’s ever been affectionate with. And they’re not even shagging. He hugs her, he holds her hand. He opens up to her in ways that he hasn’t with anyone else. He never acts like that with the girls he’s shagging.”

“And now he knows she has feelings for him. I told her it might work out in her favour but she insists it won’t. She feels that she’s not his type.” 

James rolled his eyes as the two of them made their way towards the Great Hall. “They’re both bloody daft. Not much we can do though. We’ll just have to sit back and let this play out.”

Giving a nod of agreement Lily smiled up at him. “They’ll figure it out. I mean, if we could there has to be hope for them.” 

“Oi! Are you saying that I’m oblivious as Sirius Black?” James asked her, feigning offense as he looked down at her. He laughed as she rolled her eyes and slung his arm over her shoulder. “I love you.” he said, leaning down to kiss the side of her head. 

Lily flushed and smiled as her arm slipped around his waist and she pressed into him. “Love you more.”

“Never.”

She looked up at him with a look of adoration in her green eyes as they entered the Great Hall. Walking over to the Gryffindor table they spotted their friends at their usual seats. As they neared they heard the group burst into laughter at something that Sirius had said. “Hey guys.” they said in unison as Lily took a seat next to Lyra, and James next to Sirius. “What’s so funny?” Lily asked as she reached for the pitcher of orange juice.

“Oh not much, just Sirius acting like an idiot. Nothing out of the ordinary.” Remus said with a smirk, dodging out of the way when Sirius took a swipe at him. 

The group all laughed and talked together as they ate their breakfast. When it looked like they’d had their fill the plates all disappeared from the tables and a moment later the first bell rang. Gathering their things they got to their feet and started heading to class. With James rambling some Quidditch nonsense into his ear Sirius looked over to see Lily fall into step with Lyra a few feet away.

“Hey Lyr, I need to talk,” the red head started as her friend looked over at her. “So I realize with all the Head Girl duties I’ve had lately, I’ve been a horrible best friend and have been neglecting you…”

“Oh no Lily...it’s ok…” Lyra started, only to have Lily interrupt her. 

“No it’s not ok,” Lily insisted with a shake of her head. "You’re my best friend and you’re stuck up in that dorm every night by yourself. I feel horrible for making you feel so lonely. So I propose that this weekend I go and stay with you, and we’ll have a real girls weekend. We’ll do facials and do our nails and our hair...the whole nine yards.” 

Lyra’s face perked up at the suggestion. “Yeah that would be great Lily. I miss having you there, it would be fun.”  she said with a grin.

“Well if you ladies are having a girls weekend, then I absolutely MUST join,” Sirius joked as he stepped in between them, draping his arms over their shoulders. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a good facial my skin is absolutely parched. And I’m in dire need of a manicure. At the end of it we’ll all look fabulous.” he finished, reaching up to flick his hair back in an effeminate manner.

Lily and Lyra both burst into giggles and shook their heads. “No boys in the girls dorms, remember Sirius?” Lily said with a smirk as the group headed into their potions class. 

Letting out another laugh Lyra sighed and looked up at Sirius. He must have talked to Lily about how she was feeling. She smiled a little, bumping into his side. “Thank you.” she murmured as they walked in.

Sirius just smiled and winked at her as they took their seats and class began.

*

“Well that was a nightmare,” James grumbled, reaching up to rub his face. “I think there were like...two people in that whole tryout that were actually decent.” 

Sirius just shrugged as he closed the chest that housed all of the Quidditch balls. The two of them picked up a handle on either side and made their way across to the Quidditch Pitch towards the locker rooms. “It could have been better. But it also could have been worse,” he said as they reached the coaches office that belonged to Madame Hooch. “I’m sure with some practice most of them would make good players.”

“Maybe,” James said. He let out a grunt as the two of them hefted the chest up onto the desk. “I was just hoping there would be a bit more raw natural talent to work with. It’s going to take time to mould them into a perfect team.”

“Don’t worry James it’ll be fine,” Sirius responded. Leaning back against the desk he tossed his bangs out of his face before raking a hand through his hair. “I know it’s our last year and you want to win the Quidditch cup and go out with a bang. But it’s really not the end of the world. Don’t stress and just have fun. We’ll be under enough stress once we get out of here and have to try and find a place to fight in this bloody war.”

James was silent for a few moments, worrying his lip with his teeth as he thought about what Sirius said. “I haven’t told anyone yet, but I’ve decided to go into Auror training after graduation,” he said. Crossing his arms he looked down at his feet. “I haven’t told Lily yet. I’m afraid of what her reaction might be.”

“Can’t imagine it would be a good one. But I like to think she’d understand.”

“I do too,” James shook his head and glanced back up at his friend. “I know we haven’t been together long but I love her more than anything. I can’t stand the thought of losing her over it.” Sucking in a breath he picked at the sleeve of his shirt as he thought of a way to word his next sentence. “If her reaction is...understanding...I think…” he hesitated a moment, his brows furrowing.

“What are you gonna ask her to marry you?” Sirius joked as he cast his friend a wry grin. His smile fell though when James remained silent, his face flushing. “You’re not serious.” 

“No that would be you-”

“Fuck off with that James. You’re not actually thinking of proposing to Evans so soon? Are you mad?” 

James frowned. This certainly wasn’t the reaction he was expecting from his best friend. “Well...not right this second no. I was thinking of waiting till after we’ve graduated. You know I didn’t think this was how you’d respond.”

“How the bloody hell do you expect me to respond?” Sirius boomed, throwing his hands up into the air. “What about our plans for after graduation. Getting a flat together and playing the field, living the bachelor life and having fun. Enjoying our bloody youth. Can’t do anything when you’re strapped to a bloody ball and chain.” he huffed, shaking his head as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Sirius…” James started, but trailed off. He truly was at a loss for words and didn’t know how to respond. “We...things are different now. Life has thrown us some unexpected curveballs. The world is changing and we have to change with it. I mean we can still do many of those things, some of them don’t have to change. But...we were naïve kids when we made those dreams. I’m sorry but it’s time to grow up a little. To be a little more realistic about what's coming in the future.”

Shaking his head Sirius let out a bitter laugh. “Fuck,” he muttered, turning and kicking the desk. “It seems like everyone has got all their bloody shit figured out. The whole lot of you seem to know where life is taking you, you’ve all got all these bloody plans and hopes for the future and where the hell does that leave me? Left in the fucking dust. Utterly useless and fucked up with no bloody future, no home, no clue where the hell I’m going. Gonna end up fucken left behind and forgotten...abandoned…”

“Oi, no one is going to bloody well abandon you,” James spat at him. Reaching out he grabbed Sirius by the arm and turned his friend to face him. He could see Sirius was fighting back tears as he avoided James’ gaze. “No one is leaving you behind. Ever. You’re my best friend, you’re my brother. Do you honestly think I would do that to you after everything we’ve been through together? You think any of us would do that to you? We all care about you.”

There was a long silence before Sirius closed his eyes, letting out a shuddering breath. “I’ve never felt so bloody lost before,” he muttered, shaking his head. “My life has zero direction. I have...no idea what the fuck I’m going to do. Where I’m going. I have no purpose. I feel so bloody empty and alone, I have for ages.”

“Well, you’re not alone,” James insisted, reaching out to place a hand on his best friends shoulder. He gave it a reassuring squeeze before pulling him into a hug. Sirius closed his eyes tight, pressing his face into his friends shoulder. “You’re never alone.” The bespectacled boy continued, tightening his arms around his friend. “You have five friends who love you and care about you. Who will do everything they can to guide you and help you find your way. You have a purpose Sirius. You just have to find what you’re passionate about. Something that makes you happy.”

“I don’t know what that is anymore.”

“And we’ll help you find it.” James assured him. As Sirius pulled away from him he averted his gaze as his friend wiped away the few tears that slipped down his cheeks. “Why don’t you apply to be an Auror with me? I think you’d be brilliant at it. And there’s no one else in the world I’d rather have at my side, who I trust enough to have my back in all of this.”

Sirius fell quiet as he replayed the idea back in his mind. He then looked to James, a small flicker of hope in his eyes. “That...actually sounds like a good idea.” he murmured. After thinking about it a few more moments he nodded. “Yeah.”

James managed a small smile as he reached up to ruffle up Sirius’ hair, making Sirius scowl and swat his hand away. “There see?” he said, slinging his arm around the other boys shoulder as Sirius fixed his hair. “It’ll be ok Sirius. You’ll find your place. I promise.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat Sirius nodded, giving James a weak smile. “We should get back. I have some homework to finish before dinner. Then we have to put the final touches on that prank we’re planning for Filch.”

James laughed and nodded as the two of them headed out of the office. His arm still around Sirius’ shoulders James looked up at the sky as they headed across the field towards the school. He’d had no idea that his friend had been this distraught and suddenly understood then why he’d taken off for days or weeks at a time during the summer. Sirius had been lost and was trying to find himself again. He was upset that he hadn't confided in him, but he understood why. Sirius wasn’t comfortable with talking about his issues, preferring to suffer in silence till he was ready to open up.  James just hoped that his friend remembered that he had people to lean on, and he’d never be alone.

~

[peanut-in-the-goal]

Ouch OUCH that hurt Ya know what would put my heart back together...a part 2 where Coops work it out and end up even more in love than ever before If you have time🥰

@kielemarie @candy--floss--kid here’s part 2, part one can be found here

The wonderful world of Sweater Weather is by @lumosinlove

This isn’t what you asked for sorry but in my defense you did ask an angst writer for fluff

-----------

Remus is tired of all the stolen looks, the awkward glances they share with each other. He hates the tension that’s separating them, pushing each other away when all he’s looking for is some kind of string that will pull Sirius back to him.

He loves him, of course, he loves him. The further apart they grew it felt like his feelings were getting stronger as if that was even possible. He wanted nothing more than to run back to him, to be wrapped in Sirius’ arms again and feel safe.

But he can’t. He’s not allowed to do that anymore, not allowed that comfort Sirius once brought him. It hurts, aches deep in his chest. He thought the pain would have subsided at least a little, faded as time went on. It had been almost a month since the breakup, but apparently, a broken heart doesn’t mend like broken bones do.

Sometimes time can’t fix certain wounds. It can’t fix that empty feeling that you’re left with after something so normal evaporates with nothing to show as if it was ever there. The one thing you were so sure of, and then it’s just… gone. Taken, and he isn’t really sure if it was real, to begin with.

He thinks of the fight, every time he closes his eyes he can see it. 

Every shouted word, Sirius’ cold eyes, not the ones full of love he was so used to seeing. The stony expression that he had when he was staring down Riddle on the ice. He hated the look whenever it crossed Sirius’ face, but when it was aimed at him was surreal.

He wonders if he’s ever felt a pain like this, but then again he’s never loved anyone like this before. 

It probably won’t be this easy to love again.

---

Sirius lays in bed at night, staring at the ceiling. His head is swimming with thoughts and what ifs. 

They shouldn’t have fought, he shouldn’t have left. He wouldn’t, he said he wouldn’t after the first time. What hurt the most was that when he left, the last thing he heard Remus say was, “You promised.”

It was a whisper, quiet, and broken before the sobs came. Like he didn’t want Sirius to hear but he did, and it took everything in him to not turn around and go back to him. To collapse on the ground next to where Remus was left kneeling with his hands over his face. To hold him, and apologize, and beg for forgiveness.

But he had too much pride for that. 

So he left. He turned his back on the one person that ever loved him and left. He drove, considered driving away, just disappearing without saying anything. He almost did as he came to a traffic light. He could turn left, get out of town for at least the night, or, he could go straight. 

Going straight would lead him back to his house, where the walls had pictures of him and Remus, and James and Logan, the team. 

He built a new life here, one away from the snakes, his parents, his family. He got away from all the people who treated him poorly, with their over the top expectations and Toujours Pur.

He built a life here. And he just threw it all away. God, why was he such an idiot?

---

Regulus watches the world around him fall apart. 

The Snakes… Fuck the Snakes. They made him pretend to be someone he wasn’t, trying to mold him to be their puppet. He had to say things about his brother, agree with his parents and their stupid beliefs. He was stuck, trapped, there was no way out. 

He didn’t see a way out, lost hope a long time ago that someone would help him. He couldn’t do it on his own.

Then, he got picked for All Stars. More time to spend with Snape. Oh joy, how fun.

He wasn’t looking forward to it. 

Sirius was playing. He was picked, of course, he got picked, best in the league and all. But Regulus couldn’t wait to see his big brother. Whether Sirius hated him or not, he didn’t know. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know. Either way, he’d take what he could get.

His heart clenched painfully when he saw his brother. His shoulders were tense, eyes steely and cold. Sirius reminded him of Orion, someone he tried so hard to get away from.

It felt like someone stabbed him in the heart, twisting the knife at the hilt when that glare was directed at him. His brother thought he was no better, no better than Snape, or Riddle. 

He was wrong. He had to be, Regulus, he wasn’t like them… Was he? 

That was then, about a year or two ago. It’s been a year since he was free from the Snakes, from his family. He should have gotten out sooner, should have followed Sirius to Gryffindor. When they were younger, before the NHL, they’d talked about staying together. Never be separated by anyone.

He broke that promise, and now he wanted to make things right. Now that he could. 

Remus and Sirius were fighting. Regulus could sense it even if he wasn’t there during it. Remus stopped coming over, every smile and laugh that came from his brother seemed less genuine. More forced like he was trying to cover something but didn’t want to shut down completely.

In some ways, this was worse.  Seeing his brother overwork himself with hockey, his boyfriend, and his social life. Trying to maintain this fake face, and mask all the time was draining him quickly.

Regulus found a life here, his own found family, well Sirius’s found family, but they used to share everything, this was no different. He was accepted here, and while he still felt somewhat like an intruder, he was so much more comfortable than he ever was with the Snakes. 

And if his brother wrecks this with letting the one thing that mattered the most to him slip through his fingers… He’d be damned if he allowed that to happen.

---

Regulus sighed, cornering Sirius in the kitchen. James had gone home once Harry started getting fussy, promising to be back later. Sirius had finally emerged from the rink, in the search of food.

He looked dead on his feet, the bags under his eyes only got darker as the days went on.

“How’s Remus?” Regulus winced at his own insistence, way to be subtle, he thought. Sirius seemed to hesitate for a moment, his eyes going wide from where he was leaning against the counter, a large portion of his sandwich still shoved into his mouth. 

Sirius looked at the former Snake skeptically, chewing slowly to stall for time.

Regulus shifted uneasily on his feet as Sirius finally swallowed.

“He’s fine.”

“Bullshit.” He learned years ago that the only way to get Sirius to talk was to push, and keep pushing until he broke, and the words tumbled out like a damn breaking.

“I said he's fine, kid.” Sirius’s voice was sharp, leaving no room for arguing. Although Regulus had a thing for being where he wasn’t wanted didn’t he?

“Okay, I call bullshit on that.” Regulus kept his voice composed, strong, even though he wanted to shrink away from his brother’s stare. 

God, it reminded him so much of their father.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you kid, or what you want to hear, but he’s fine.” Sirius took another bite of his sandwich.

“I don’t know, maybe the fucking truth Sirius?”

“That is the truth.”

“Fine.” Regulus pushed himself off the counter, taking a step closer to him. “How are you then?”

“I’m fine Regulus, spectacular even.” Sirius dropped the face, opting to shut down rather than fighting back with his fake stupid mask. 

“Tout est putain de fantastique et super ma putain de vie est parfaite,” Sirius rambled off, sighing and putting his sandwich down again. “I’m fine.”

“Sure you are.” Regulus drawled.

“I’m fine,” Sirius said again. His voice wavered, like he was trying to convince himself more than Regulus.

“Sirius…” Regulus took another step forward, and Sirius broke. The words tumbling out of his mouth faster than he could register.

“We broke up. Me and Remus broke up. We fought, it’s over, I fucked it up, I fucked it up. It’s my fault, my fault. He was the best thing to ever happen and I fucked up, I left again. I promised I wouldn’t and I did, I’m such an idiot. Merde, je suis tellemente stupide.” 

“Sirius.” Regulus held his hands up for a moment, trying to get the word vomit to stop for just a moment. They broke up? When, how, why? 

Regulus always thought that they were perfect for each other, the way his brother looked at Remus made that clear. He’d never looked so fondly at someone before, like he’d cross oceans for them, or move mountains just to make them happy.

And somehow that connection, that bond, was broken. 

“I told him I hated him mon étoile.” Sirius’ words shook him back, out of his thoughts. Sirius was probably looking for more answers than he was.

---

Regulus left when James showed up. The two had been better brothers these past few years than Regulus and Sirius had.

Sirius was grateful to see James, but it didn’t make it any easier. Harry wasn’t here this time, Lily had kept him home to let Sirius and James talk by themselves. Harry was a good buffer sometimes, but they didn’t need one right now. They just need them, two brothers to talk.

He was happy for that, as much as he wanted to see a mini version of his best friend, he didn’t want Harry’s uncle Padfoot to break down in front of him. The kid was too young to have to think about everything wrong in the world. He didn’t want to take Harry’s childhood from him like his was taken.

He was feeling somewhat better, the pain was still there. The emptiness engulfed him and made him feel alone, back to step one. He didn’t want to have to start over again, with a new team, in a new place.

He didn’t want to start over with anything or anyone. He wanted Remus, not someone who would be second best. He’d fight, he’ll fight for him. He can’t lose this easily, he won’t give up.

---

Remus has been crying all morning. He’s been staying at the Potters in their guest bedroom. He knows he should leave, he’s imposing on their family. 

But he just can’t find it in him to go back to his apartment. Usually, he’d stay at Sirius’s but lately, he’s found himself here. It’s silent when he walks around. When he curls up on the sofa under the heavy wool blanket he loves so much, it still feels like something is missing.

As much as he tries to pretend everything is normal, it isn’t. It hasn’t been for a while now, and it’s so annoying because he just wants to fix it. But they don’t teach you how to mend a broken heart when they teach you how to heal a broken bone. 

He wants to go back to the apartment, but he just… can’t. He didn’t even want to be there in the first place. It held too many memories.   

In the kitchen, his first real phone call with Sirius. When he was making dinner, Sirius called him, and they talked. Really talked.

His room. Where they woke up together and fell asleep together. They made memories there, the way he laughed when Sirius was trying to brush his teeth and take his shirt off at the same time.

They also made memories doing…  other things there.

Of course, there was also the spot that he called his parents, coming out to them and Sirius held his hand the whole time. Hell, even the porch, the front door, and the entry room meant so much to him. When Sirius came to him after the holiday, he stayed with Remus instead of going back to his house or James’s of Dumo’s. 

Because he trusted him, he loved him. And Remus lost him.

They officially called it off yesterday. Remus told him from the beginning that he wasn’t going to wait forever. And he didn’t. If Sirius wasn’t going to come around and instead try to distance himself without telling Remus, what he did wrong, he wasn’t going to wait. 

He’s waited enough.

---

Remus steps out of the guest room. He didn’t leave very much, opting to curl up on the bed and wallow rather than leave. He came out for meals, normally skipping breakfast. He’s thanked James and Lily numerous times and apologized for staying for so long. They brushed him off with a “stay as long as you want, we care about you, Remus.”

Lily was sitting on the couch in the main room, TV playing some kids show for Harry who was playing with blocks on the ground in front of her.  

“Hey, Re.” Her smile is gentle like Remus is fragile. And if she makes any sudden movements he’ll break. He hates that they see him as breakable, then again he did spend the last few days crying in their guest bedroom, so it was only fair.

“Hi Lils,” he puts up a smile. A fake one, but it’s the best he can muster. “I just wanted to say thanks for, you know, letting me stay.” He gestures vaguely with his hands.

“Of course Re! I’m your best friend.”

Remus’s smile is a little more genuine this time. He loves Lily, not like he loves Sirius but she’s up there.

“Yeah, you are. Um, I just wanted to tell you that I was going to go stay with my parents for a bit.” It came out as a question, his voice going slightly higher at the end.

“Oh.” Remus winced. Lily looked... surprised, but also like she wanted to hug him and not let him leave. “Are you sure? I mean you could stay here, we don’t mind, really.”

Remus shook his head before she even finished talking. 

“It’s okay Lils, I already called. I’m flying out tonight at 8:00. I just wanted to say thank you for letting me stay so long. I’ll be back before the season starts again.”

“Of course, do you need any help packing or anything?” She shifted, moving to stand up. Again, Remus shook his head. He gestured to the small duffle bag he was holding, everything he had with him at the Potters stuffed inside. 

“I’m good I think. I have stuff there.” 

Lily gave him a sad smile, moving forward to hug him. 

“Okay,” she mumbled. “Be safe.”

Remus smiled, wrapping her arms around her. “I will be. I think… I think I’m going to go back to my place before I do.” He bit his lip hard against the rising emotion that was bubbling up. 

Lily looked at him one more time, her eyes flitting over his face, searching for something. “If you’re sure…”

“I am Lils,” Remus sighed, “I have to go back sometime right?” He tried for a laugh, but it didn’t work.

Lily nodded slowly before sighing again. “I’ll walk you out.”

Remus heard Harry asking “Where unc’e moony going?” as the door swung shut behind him with a soft click.

---

The drive home was silent, empty. His heart ached and couldn’t help the tiny bit of hope that Sirius would be there when he got home. He wanted to go back, see what he did wrong and fix things. 

He wanted that security he got when Sirius was there with them. When it was just them, there, together in the moment, without a care in the world. The way how when Sirius smiled like that and the laughter that they shared echoed off the walls 

He wanted the memories to mean something. Not be thrown away because of an argument. They were adults, they could hopefully work past this. He was willing to try.

But he also wanted fresh air. He wanted to be away for a while. Hopefully, he could stay home with his family, catch up with his little brother. He wasn’t looking forward to answering questions from the media when he got back.

His breath caught when he thought about it. This was supposed to be break. Their break to spend together. They should be doing things together like the movies, going on trips, hell they should be at Sid’s getting pizza. And Sirius should be making fun of the way he gets pineapple on it but instead, Remus is alone, again.

He’s tired of putting his heart out there just for someone else to take it and stomp all over it.

---

“How is he?” Sirius asks, his eyes are flitting over James’ face to make sure he doesn’t lie. 

Sirius knows Remus is at the Potters. He’s known since he got the call from James saying that Remus turned up, crying and a mess.

“He’s… He’s not doing so good, can’t be in much better shape than you are.” James winces.

“I’m fine,” his words are harsh. 

“Mhm, and I’m a cactus.” Sirius furrowed his brows, starting to feel annoyed by his chosen brother. “Oh sorry, I thought we were saying things that aren’t true.”

Sirius huffs. “Je vais Bien.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” James leaned forward from where he was sitting, elbows resting on his knees as he fixed Sirius with a hard look.

“Did you want to break up with him?”

“Wow, way to be blunt Potter.” Sirius scoffed, looking away from James. He didn’t want to meet James’ eyes and let him see that he was slowly breaking inside. 

“Answer the question.” His tone was the same, harsh.

“What does it matter? It doesn’t make a difference. Ce n'est plus comme s'il m'aimait plus.” Sirius whispered the last part, James wouldn’t understand anyway.

“I don’t speak French asshole.”

“I’m aware.”

“Rude.”

“Fuck off. And answer the question, because it makes a difference.”

Damn, Sirius was actually starting to feel a little better. The banter was normal between them, an odd thing that made him feel safe. He doesn’t understand why, but there’s a lot of things he doesn’t understand. Like why his parents are the way they are, why Grayback just had to tear apart Remus’ shoulder… Remus…

“No.” He whispered. “Non, I didn’t want to break up with him.” The dam broke.

James was there in a second, tugging Sirius’ hands from his face from where he curled in on himself.

“Then why did you?”

“He wasn’t happy. I had to let him go.” His voice broke, he refused to let the tears fall.

“Were you happy?” James’ voice took a new gentle tone.

“I had him. I had no reason to not be happy.”

James made a sad noise, gripping Sirius’ hand tighter.

“Then fight for him, go after him. Show him how much you love him, Sirius.”

“But what if he doesn’t want me anymore?” Sirius sounded so sad, and yet still refused to look James in the eye.

“Look at me Pads.”  Sirius took a minute to comply. “He still loves you — don’t roll your eyes at me — he does. But you can’t expect him to do all the work.”

“I’m not! I want to fight, I want to put in the work. I just want Remus back.”

“Look.” James sighs and runs a hand through his already untamable hair. “He’s at my house, if you really want to fix it come home with me, go talk to him. Okay?”

Sirius is nodding before he finishes talking, “Oui, yes, I want to see him, please.”

James nods. “Okay.”

---

They were too late.

He remembers Lily opening the door with a sad smile on her face. 

They were too late. Remus already left. His plane would leave in half an hour. He won’t make it in time. He missed his chance.

That doesn’t mean he won’t try.

He was out the door before he could think twice about it. James’ keys in his hand as the engine roared. Everything was a blur, the lights on the cars merging together as he sped by. 

He hovered over the speed limit the entire time, swerving in and out of cars a bit recklessly. It didn’t matter to him, not if it meant he got to Remus on time. 

He parked somewhere by the airport, he doesn’t remember where, it’s not important.

He practically runs into the airport, buying the first ticket he sees and throwing money at the cashier. He doesn’t wait for the change. 

He curses at the long line in security, praying to whatever higher gods out there that he’ll make it in time.

He checks his watch. 19 minutes. He wasn’t going to make it.

Shit shit shit

12 minutes. He’s hardly moved. 

8 minutes, he’s made progress.

3 minutes. He’s not going to make it.

0 minutes. He missed it.

Sirius stares at his watch, no.  He missed his flight, Remus was gone. It was over.

He considers turning around, leaving, and giving up. He’ll go home and train. Shot after shot, trick after trick. He’ll play until he can’t anymore, shoot until the stick is falling out of his numb hands. He’ll—

“Sirius?”

And suddenly time stops. He looks up at the familiar voice, trying to find his face in this crowd full of people.

“Re?” And Remus nearly sobs. He hasn’t heard that voice directed at him in so long. He finds those stormy grey eyes from across the huge lobby and suddenly nothing matters but him. 

He allows himself to hope, hope that Sirius still wants him. 

Sirius spots him, a wide grin stretching over his face, and before he knows it Sirius is trying to get out of line, and he’s running towards Remus, running towards him and doing his best not to run into people but honestly who cares?

Why would he care when Remus is right here and he’s back. He hasn’t left yet. Why hasn’t he left yet?

Sirius finally made it out of the stupid queue line and ran. He ran as fast as he could, almost slamming into Remus when he went to give him a hug.

“Baby, I’m sorry.”

“Mon Loup, I love you.”

They both laughed, their faces close enough to feel each other’s breath. Remus’ little puffs of breaths as he laughed nearly melted Sirius’ heart.

“I love you too,” Remus whispered, his chin tilted up to look at Sirius.

And Sirius could have sobbed in relief, attacking Remus’ face in small bursts of kisses while cupping his face in his hands. It didn’t matter who was around, not when he had Remus.

Things were far from perfect, but they could work through it.

“I thought I missed your flight,” Sirius whispered. Remus smiled a little timidly, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose.

“It got delayed.” Sirius smiled so wide his cheeks hurt.

“It looks like the universe is on my side today then.” Remus laughed, shaking his head.

“You and your crazy superstitions I swear.”

Sirius only pulled him closer.

---

Things were a lot better. It had been a few weeks since they met at the airport. Sirius couldn’t express how happy he was that his flight happened to get delayed that day.

He couldn’t express how happy he was that Remus let him back in. That he didn’t give up on Sirius when Sirius was giving on on himself.

They had talked since then, both apologizing profusely the entire time. They stuck close by each other, not wanting to be pushed apart again. 

They have to send James and Lily a thank you card now don’t they?

---

Remus is falling harder than he did before. He values all the little cute things Sirius does so much more now that he’s lost them once. The way he fidgets with his fingers when nervous, or cuddles up closer to Remus when he thinks he’s asleep. 

He loves the small flecks of brown and blue in Sirius’ eyes. He loves the way Sirius hugs him after a win, holding on as tight as he can whispering, I love you, we did it, in his ear.

He’s definitely falling hard, and he’s okay with that. He doesn’t think he could love Sirius more than he does right now. 

But then again, when he wakes up every day he’s proven wrong isn’t he?

[straykidsnerd255]

Hello, I don't know if this counts as a request but… can you make the golden saints motivate and comfort me? I just lost someone important in my life and ... I really need some words of comfort ... if you don't want to, that's fine, anyway, thank you.

nadeshikoiraependragon I am so sorry to hear that! I hope that you can soon find peace and I hope that these will help you. I made it so you were dating the gold saints in each of the scenarios. And if you need to talk to someone, my door is always open. Come and talk with me. (I just did the lost canvas saint because they don’t get enough screen time. I hope that’s ok with you.)

Words of Comfort and Motivation from the Gold saints

Aries Shion- Shion wandered the training ground looking for you. He raised an eyebrow and scratched the back of his head. “Where did you go?” He mumbled to himself. He continued to look around before he remembered your attitude from the day before. His eyes widened and he raced back towards the Aries house. He walked through the opening and found you, curled up on his bed. Tears stained your cheeks and your blood shot eyes hurt him. He crossed the room and sat down on the bed. He ran his fingers through your hair before laying down next to you. “Why did they leave me Shion? I didn’t want them to leave. Not yet.” You whimper out. Shion felt his heart drop. He pulled you into a hug and held you close to his chest. “Y/n, You have to believe me when I say that they are in a better place now.” He whispered. 

“I know it's hard when you lose someone so close to you but they will always remain in your heart. They watch over you even though you can’t see them. They guard you and protect you when you don’t know it. But you must carry on. It will be hard for the first little bit, but you have to continue moving forward. There will be a day where you can meet them again. Promise me, you will keep fighting. Promise me you will look at this and remember that they are not gone forever.” He whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. You smiled softly. A few stray tears slipped down your cheek before you closed your head and a small chuckle left you lips. “I promise.” You whispered back.

Taurus Rasgado-  He was a bit confused when you ran up to him and hid your face in your back but when the sound of sniffling and a choked breath of air left your person, he grew worried. He would end training there and lift you up and carry you back to the Taurus house. He would be extremely gentle around you making sure that when you were ready to tell him what was wrong, that you were comfortable.  “I’m sorry Rasgado.” You whispered, wiping your tears away from your eyes. He walked over to your side and sat down next to you. “Tell me, why are you crying?” He asked. 

You took a deep breath and told him everything. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest. His chest tightened in pain as he listened to you. He didn’t want you to ever have to go through that but he knew that you needed comfort. You leaned your head against his chest and closed your eyes. “I know it will be hard for a little bit. But don’t let it consume you.” Rasgado said. You opened your eyes and looked up at him. He looked down at you and smiled gently. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I am here when you need me. Just ask. I don’t want to see you hurting. Alright?” He said. You smiled and nodded your head. 

Gemini Defteros-  After a long mission, he just wanted to come home to you and sleep. However, when he made it back to the Gemini house, the sound of sniffling and crying filled his ears. His tired state forgotten, he made his way towards the sound and found you curled up on his bed. Tears fell down your face as you cried. He shrugged off his armor and made a bee-line towards you. He knelt down on the floor on the side you were laying on. “Sweetheart? What’s wrong?” He whispered, lifting his hand and pressing it to your head. He ran his hand down your hair in a comforting manner.

“I-I lost someone very close and important to me. I don’t….” You couldn’t finish your sentence as you were pulled into Defteros’s chest. His heartbeat calmed you down to where you were just sniffing. “Everything will be ok. I know that losing someone close isn’t fun, but something just happened. I wish that they never did. I’ve lost so many people that were close to me. It hurt me so badly. I just don’t want to see you become distant. I don’t want to be pushed away from you. So please, let me stay by your side while you recover.” He whispered, pulling you closer to his body.  You smiled softly and wrapped your arms around him. “Let’s heal together then.” You whispered.

Cancer Manigold- Manigold was currently in his house with you curled up in his lap. His hand swirling around on your back in a comforting manner. His heart ached as your sobbed against his chest. You had come running to him with tears in your eyes. You told him that you had lost someone close to you and he immediately pulled you into a hug before taking you back to the Cancer house so you could lay down and relax. He soon lifted his hand and ran his fingers through your hair. Tears filled his eyes as he watched you cover your face and cry. 

“Y/n, I want you to know that you can see them again. They are not gone forever. They are watching over you. Making sure that you are living life to the best that you can. They will never leave you alone. Not only do they protect you, they are forever with you in your heart. Your heart will always remember them.” He said. He shifted causing you to kneel on the bed and look at him. His hands moved towards your face. He pulled your face towards his and pressed his forehead against yours. “Don’t hold this in for too long. I don’t want you to get hurt.” he whispered. You smiled at him before pulling back and pressing your lips against his. “Thank you Manigold. That means a lot to me.” You whispered.

Leo Regulus- He is always happy. It doesn’t matter what is happening around him. However, when it comes to you, he will hold back his happiness in hopes that he can help you in any way. The day that he returns from a mission to see you curled up on the bed with tears running down your face, he immediately thinks of the worst thing. When he moves and lays down by you, he presses his forehead against yours and smiles softly. “What’s wrong hon?” he asked. You looked up at him before burying your face in his chest. You told him everything that happened. His eyes widened and he pulled you against his chest.

“Everything will be ok. I know that this is tough and you shouldn’t have to go through it, but they are watching over you as we speak. They are making sure that you are doing everything that you need to. They don’t want you to be hung up over their death. They would rather see you smiling and having the time of your life. It will be hard, I know. But they will always be with you. They will be looking over you while you have memories and cherished moments tucked away in your heart. That way, you can never forget them.” He said. You smiled and buried your face in his chest and took a deep breath. “Thank you Regulus.” You whispered before falling asleep. Regulus never left your side. He eventually fell asleep with your pressed close to his chest.

Virgo Asmita- Asmita was never one to talk. He very rarely talked even when he was asked things. He was still silent even around you, but he knew how to convey his feelings and thoughts.  After a particular fight with Hades and his followers, Asmita came back to his house rubbing his face and sighing. He looked around and noticed that the lantern’s had not been lit like they normally are. He noticed that everything was different and that you were not making dinner. He walked towards his room before stopping dead in his tracks. He could hear crying and sniffling on the other side of the door. He opened the doors softly and quietly before making his way over to your side. 

He sat next to you and pulled you into his chest. His arms wrapped around you and his chin sat on top of your head. He waited for you to release all of your built of tears before he looked down at you. He opened his eyes and looked over your shaking figure. “What happened?” He asked softly. You looked up at him before you told him everything. How someone so close and important to you died. His heart tightened painfully in his chest before he pulled you into a hug. He buried his face in your hair before pulling back. “I’m not good with motivational words but, can we just cuddle for the rest of the night?” He asked, hoping that cuddling would be enough. You smiled and nodded your head. “Yeah, I would love that very much.” You said. 

Libra Dohko- Dohko had heard about the passing of the person that had been so close to you and it broke his heart to see you this way. When you both had the day off, Dohko did nothing but cuddle you. He would hold you and just let you cry as long as you needed to. He knew how you felt. He had experienced losing someone close to him and he wasn’t going to let you go through it alone. The day, the both of you just laid on the bed and he would just talk to you. Help you relax. He told you all about the battles that he had been in and how he had to get stronger every time the battles finished. He looked down to see you tracing small patterns against his shirt with a smile on your lips.

“How are you feeling love?” He asked, lifting his hand from your back and running his fingers through your hair. You smiled and nodded your head. “I’m still sad that I lost them, but I feel better now.” You said. Dohko smiled. He leaned down and pressed his lips against your forehead and gently kissed your forehead. You closed your eyes and smiled. You loved it when he was gentle and kind. Not that he never was gentle to begin with, but you loved it when he was extra gentle when you were sad or not in your right mind. “Thank you Dohko.” you whispered moving closer to him.

Scorpio Kardia- Kardia was never one to calm someone down or be gentle around others. However, when it comes to you, Kardia is the most gentle and caring person around. He will hold you close to his chest and run his hand through your hair. He would do everything in his powers to calm your sobs down. However, today was different. No matter what he tried, he couldn’t get you to stop crying. “Baby, I know this is tough but please don’t cry. I can’t handle it when you cry. I know I have a tough guy attitude around others and I can act like a total asshole but, I want to see you smile again. I miss that beautiful smile.” Kardia said, pulling you into a hug.

You wiped the tears from your eyes and looked up at the male. You buried your face in  his chest and let out a sad, choked laugh. “I’m sorry Kardia. I don’t mean to cry this much but I lost someone so important to me. I just can’t stop my tears from falling.” You whispered. Kardia’s eyes widened a bit before pulling you against his chest and hugging you tightly. “I’m so sorry. I should have realized sooner.” He said. You shook your head. “I just want my baby to be happy. Just know that they will stay with you as long as you remember the fun times you had together. Now, come here. You deserve some hugs and kisses.” Kardia said lifting you up and carrying you back to the Scorpio house.

Sagittarius Sisyphos- This poor man. He would be so damn worried about you. When he returned from his mission, he would see you laying on his bed with tears falling down your face like a waterfall. He would take his armor off in an instant before fast walking over to your side and climbing on the bed. He wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you close against his chest. You instantly grabbed his shirt tightly in your hands. “Why are you crying sweetheart. Did something happen to you?” He asked, rubbing his hand on your back. You looked up at him with red, teary eyes. “I just lost someone special to me. I don’t-” Sisyphos pulled you against his chest and ran his fingers through your hair.

“Shh. Everything is going to be alright. I promise you, they are watching over you as we speak. I don’t think they would want you spending your days crying though. They want you to be happy. To keep smiling. They will always be in your heart. They were a special part of you and that means your heart will always remember them.” He whispered, pressing a small kiss to your forehead and holding you close to him. He didn’t like seeing you cry. He wanted to see you smile. See you laugh at the dumb shit the Gold saints always do.

Capricorn El-Cid- He would be very worried. He would be trying everything he could to make you smile again. He would tell you not to cry and would wipe your tears away. When you had calmed down enough, he would ask you to tell him everything. What made you so sad in the first place. You told him everything that had happened and he immediately pulled you into a hug. “It’s going to be ok. They are in a better place now. They don’t have to feel pain anymore. Besides, they are a part of your heart now. They will be close to you no matter what happens.” He said, pulling you close to him. His arms wrapped around you and he closed his eyes. He kept you close to him.

You smiled softly and wrapped your arms around his neck. You buried your face in his shoulder and closed your eyes. You felt peace whenever you were around him. He had so much love for you that it amazed you. He was even gentle and considerate when you told him things. With something as heartbreaking as the death of someone so close to you, he still made sure that he respected everything about it. Holding you and allowing you to just cry or tell him about it. You loved El-Cid beyond compare. You lifted your head up and looked at El-Cid. “Thank you. Everything you said helped me out a lot.” You said.

Aquarius Degel- Though he likes to read books and stay out of people's business, he couldn’t help but feel the need to be with you. He could sense that something was wrong and he wanted to know what was making you cry like you were. You two had been laying on the bed while he read through a book and you slept next to him and before he knew it, you were sobbing quietly on your side. He placed the book down and looked over at you. “Y/n? What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?” He asked, placing a hand on your shoulder and gently shaking you awake. Your eyes shot open and you looked around wildly. The nightmare is still fresh in your mind. Degel watched for a few seconds before he went into action. He knew what he had to do to calm you down enough to get you to talk to him.

He pulled you against his chest and began petting your hair. “Shh. It was just a dream. You are going to be ok.” He whispered. When you had calmed down, he pulled away and looked at you. “Now, what happened in your dream to make you start crying like that?” He asked running his fingers over your face to wipe away the last of the tears on your face. You looked down before looking up at him. You told him everything. About how you lost someone so close to you and that the dream that you had was just a nightmare but it reminded you about that someone. Degel pulled you into a hug and laid back down. Your head laying against his chest closest to his heart. “They are watching over you. All the memories that you have with them; they are a part of your heart now. Your heart will always remember them. Now rest. You need it.” He said.

Pisces Albafica- He hated seeing you cry. He absolutely despised it. He wanted you to smile. He wanted to hear your laughter again. It always brought him peace when he could hear your laugh or even see your smile. Even though he believed that he was ‘poisoned’ he knew that he had to do something to make you happy. After a long battle he had been on, he made his way back to the Pisces house and found you laying on the bed holding a pillow and silently sobbing. His heart pounded painfully against his chest as he walked towards you. He took his armor off and changed into something more comfortable before laying down behind you. He pulled you against his chest and buried his face into your back. 

You looked behind you as best as you could but the familiar light blue hair appeared in your vision making your heart slowly calm down. Your tears began to stop and dry. You turned so that you were facing the saint before burying your face in his chest. His eyes widened but he didn’t say anything. He just hugged you tighter against his body. “Princess, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He asked, lifting his hand up to pet your hair in a soothing manner. “I lost someone close to me and I don’t know how to feel about it.” You whispered. Albafica felt his heart sink. You had mentioned this person a few times and he grew to see that person as a close friend or sibling or someone in your family. “I’m sorry baby. I know it's tough right now, but they're living a better life. They don’t have to be in pain anymore. They can live a painless life. Besides, their memory will always live with you. Don’t forget that.” He said dipping his head down and pressing his lips against yours. 

 @ nadeshikoiraependragon 

[writesowhatnext]

say you were made to be mine // sirius black

Summary: With the reader’s world turned upside down, what next? Do you follow your heart or your soul?

Request: part 2 of what if we rewrite the stars?

A/N: I wasn’t sure where to go with this (I decided on a hang the dj vibe) but I’m very grateful for people wanting a part 2 :)

Reader: unspecified

Warnings: none I think? I mean kinda sad

part 1 // part 2 

“Lil, I don’t know what to do,” you said, rubbing your eyes with your fingers. “Transfiguration is bloody difficult.”

You were sat on the floor of Lily’s room while she lay across her bed, barely paying attention to her parchment in front of her. You were both fawning over your Transfiguration revision, trying not to dwell on NEWTs. She looked at you out the corner of her eye before frowning as her lip twitched unhappily. You knew what she wanted to talk about but that was a kettle of fish you were not willing to open; not with her, not today.

“Y/N,” she began, her tone of voice making you sigh. “You can’t just ignore-“

“I don’t want to talk about this, Lil.”

“You have to do something; talk to someone.”

“It’s none of your business, Lil.”

“What about Sirius? Don’t you care about him at all?”

“Lily,” you insisted, your tone much darker than it had been. She was pushing it too far.

“You can’t just not do anything.”

“I’ll revise somewhere else,” you huffed, grabbing your parchment and leaving before she could say anything else and before you could say something you regretted like how Regulus was your soulmate or how you hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours a night the past few weeks thinking about Sirius. Tears filled your eyes, but you blinked them away; it felt like you’d cried enough in the last month to fill the Pacific twiceover. No more tears, you’d promised yourself. Another promise that couldn’t be kept.

It had been four weeks after Sirius’ birthday, and three days after your spat with Lily, and you’d finally made a decision. Regrettably, Lily was right, you couldn’t just do nothing. And so you decided that it was high time to tell Regulus. You knew he would be at quidditch practice and you were determined to face him. The whole walk there, you’d been rehearsing in your head trying to figure out the words you would say.

“Hi, Regulus. You know me, I’m dating your brother; well I was until I found out you’re my soulmate. The fun thing is I might not be yours! Because soulmates hurt like that.”

Perhaps that wasn’t the best option. 

You considered just showing him; he was a pure-blood afterall, he knew what soulmates were. Was that fair? Was any of this fair? You were so caught up in your thoughts you barely recognised the quidditch pitch, almost tripping where the stone floor met the grass.

Looking over at the field, it was easy to find Regulus because he looked almost exactly like Sirius and your heart ached a little at the resemblance. All of your determination and planning went out the window as you watched him and your feet wouldn’t carry you any further. So, you stood there on the Quidditch field, just staring at him. He was laughing and joking with his friends and for a moment he just looked so young. You could hear his laughter, despite him being so far away, and your breath caught in your throat at the musical sound. It was just like Sirius’. Your mind wandered a little, thinking about why you hadn’t noticed how similar they were before. Maybe it’s because you had Sirius then. Now all you had were memories and a horrible pain in your chest.

You bit your lip as you watched him push and shove and play with his teammates and although he was only a couple years younger, at that moment, you felt older than you ever had. You couldn’t destroy his life; you couldn’t take away the years he had left without being burdened by the reality of a soulmate. You needed him to have more time to romanticise and dream. With a sigh, you pressed your hand to your forehead. He waved at you, finally seeing you across the pitch. His face lit up and his cheeks stretched with the weight of his boyish smile and you couldn’t help the guilt that came over you. You realised, with a reluctance and relief you only felt guiltier for, you could never love him like you loved Sirius. Still, with a heavy hand and heavier heart, you waved back. He turned around to face his friends then, people you recognised from Slytherin as pure-blood supremacists and supporters of Voldemort, and more than anything you wanted to protect him from that, but it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough – you could never love him like you should.

With your vision blurring with unshed tears, you tore back to your room and cleaned off your desk with a single swooping motion, your inkpots toppling to the floor. You couldn’t question the morality of what you were doing as you began to write, your quill scratching against parchment, because if you did, you’d end up doing nothing. You already knew how awful that felt, Lily’s voice in your head reminded you.

You read and reread the letter about a thousand times. From the ‘Dear Regulus’ to the ‘Please forgive me’, it wasn’t right but you figured that it would never be completely. And so, with a shaking hand, you addressed the letter to Kreacher, the Black family’s house-elf whom Sirius held a firm mistrust for, with a note begging him to give the letter to Regulus on his eighteenth birthday. It didn’t take long to get to the owlery and once you’d sent the letter, a strange calmness came over you. With a new, strangely light feeling in your chest, you walked to the Gryffindor common room, a place you’d avoided completely for weeks.

You didn’t even reach the room itself before you found what, or rather who, you were searching for. Climbing from the portrait hole like a man deflated was Sirius. He didn’t see you as he walked the other way, his shoulders sunken.

“Sirius!” you shouted with your voice far too loud for such a small corridor. After so long on auto-pilot, it felt like your body was unprepared for whatever strong emotions talking to Sirius again would stir. He turned quickly. He didn’t speak as you sped down the hallway to meet him, his eyes wet as you stopped in frotn of him.

“I want to be us again,” you said. Your stomach flopped as you looked at his face. It felt like forever since you’d seen him and you were struck by how much you’d missed his dark eyes and high cheekbones. He shook his head.

“You know we can’t do that-“

“We can; we don’t have to be defined by what’s written on our skin. We could just be us - like muggles do. They never know who their soulmate is, they’re never sure, but they love anyway.”

“We are sure, Y/N.”

“I’m not.”

You were breathing slightly heavier now, your emotions getting the better of you as you stared up at Sirius. How could someone be so familiar yet so unfamiliar?

“Just because some stupid universal force says something’s true, doesn’t mean I believe it,” you frowned, surprised and hurt by his reaction. “Since when have you cared about authority?”

“This is different. My brother-“

“Your brother will be fine,” you lowered your head, the guilt returning. “I’ve made sure of it.”

“Y/N-“

“Sirius, please. I want you. I want to choose you every day of our lives, just like muggles.”

He bit his lip, turning away slightly.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Sirius, you promised.” you insisted as he began to back away. “Us against the world. Soulmates be dammed. You said that, and you swore.”

He turned to walk away as tears began to roll down your cheeks. “You swore on the stars.”

After he walked away that day, your shoulders felt heavy with the overwhelming feeling that you would never truly be loved. You’d pre-emptively turned away your soulmate, sure he could never be truly happy with you, and you’d lost the one person you wanted more than anything. And now there was nothing left. You were grateful, though, that it was the weekend so you could stay in bed, curled up and alone, praying for the world to go away. You didn’t have any more tears left to cry and you were tired of being tired. 

That’s why when someone knocked at your door, you made no effort to answer it. When they knocked again, you hid your head under your pillow. The third knock made you huff, annoyed that someone would be looking for your roommates so urgently when they weren’t even there, annoyed that someone had interrupted your pity party for no reason. The last person you expected to see when you opened the door was Sirius.

He was dishevelled, noticeably so, with messy hair and a strange determination in his eyes. You frowned, hand tightening around the doorknob as he pushed past you, into your room.

“I was wrong,” he said, exhaling sharply as he paced back and forth. “I was so wrong.”

You swallowed, eyes widening as he came closer. His large palms reached up to cup either side of your face and for a second, you couldn’t breathe his gaze was so intense.

“It was always supposed to be us against the world, I’m so sorry.”

You nodding, biting your lip, unable to trust your voice. He looked out the window, blinking away tears before sitting on your bed. His hands trailed down your face to reach your own. He held them tightly, your fingers gripping onto him as he pulled you to sit too.

“Y/N, I want to love you every day. And it’ll be my choice - nothing to do with the universe. Sod the universe.”

His face softened slightly.

“You’ve always been the stars in my sky.”

You discovered then that you were wrong. You did, in fact, have more tears left to cry. As droplets began to roll down your cheeks, Sirius pulled you into his chest and you realised how much you’d missed his arms around you, how safe you felt there. You didn’t know what to say when you pulled back. His eyes were red and shining and his hands were on your waist and for the first time in a long time, you felt as if you’d made the right choice.

“Like muggles, yeah?” you asked, looking up at him.

“Like muggles.”

He moved his hand away from you and you watched with confused eyes as he pulled a sharpie from his robes.

“Lily gave me this,” he began, showing you. “It’s a pen.”

You couldn’t help the amused, borderline incredulous, exhale that rushed from your lips at his words.

“I know what a pen is.”

“Oh,” he blinked, frowning, tone flippant. “Of course, you do.”

Slowly, he pulled up his sleeve, exposing the bare skin where his soulmate tattoo should’ve been. Your chest tightened at how distraught he’d been on his birthday so many weeks ago and your frown deepened as he uncapped the pen with his mouth, bringing the tip to his skin. You reached over to place your hand on his, stilling his movement.

“No,” you said, taking the pen off him and rolling up your own sleeve. You looked at the name ‘Regulus Black’ for a second before the sharpie touched your skin and, with Sirius watching you, you crossed out the cursive letters with a solid black line.

“Now we both don’t have soulmates,” you smiled up at him, his eyes shining with happiness you hadn’t seen in a while. Happiness you’d missed seeing on his handsome features. He watched as you gently took the pen lid from his mouth, his eyes full of emotion.

“Y/N,” he said, swallowing a lump in his throat. “I meant it when I said it would always be us against the world. You know that?”

His mouth twitched nervously and his dark eyebrows drew down ever so slightly and you realised in that moment that you could never love anyone in the same way you loved him. Reaching over, your sleeve still scrunched at your elbow, you squeezed his hand and smiled. And that was enough for him.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Pure Blood 36 (Sirius Black x F!Oc)

Words: 2,560

Masterlist:

Chapter 35

"I don't even know if I'll be able to walk without the crutch," I lean against the wall, watching the others choose a dress for prom.

"That is no excuse for not wearing a nice dress,” says Marlene.

“You don’t need to walk on it, just wear it," Lily adds.

"Better just wear normal clothes and use my crutch to trip others–“

“Don't be grumpy. It’ll be fun. It’s our last party at Hogwarts!” says Jenna.

"Won't you choose a dress?" Marlene asks.

“Jenna already chose it for me.”

"You say it as if I control you.”

"Because you do," I joke. She rolls her eyes.

"At least I know that Black will thank me for it, because you’re ungrateful.”

I laugh.

“Don't overreact. I agreed with the dress. It’s not that important. The real gossip is that it’ll be the first dance in which the two dungheads will finally be together without trying to kill each other,” I point out to Lily.

The others squeal with excitement making Lily blush.

“That's beautiful! We’ll finally be with Lily without her bickering about James!”adds Marlene.

“I never did that!” Lily exclaims.

“Yes you did!” We all say.

"Even Jenna and I knew it," I comment. I move my crutch a little, but it’s a big mistake, I hit one of the boxes next to me causing it to fall and the clothes that were inside are left disorderly on the floor, also, I lose my balance and end up hitting my knee.

"Ok, P. Why don't you wait outside?"

I frown. “You're talking to me like I’m a little girl.”

"Here, go by some sweets,” She says handing me money.

I make a face.

“Fine.”

I leave the store and walk to the nearby bench. I'll rest first, my knee still hurts.

For a few minutes I only see people passing from one place to another. Some girls also look for their prom dresses, makeup, accessories. They squeal while discussing their ideas with their friends. I laugh at their excitement, at least some get to enjoy this.

"Oh hello, Persephone,” I turn to my right to meet Peter.

"Hey, Pete,” He sits next to me.

"How long have you been sitting here?" He asks.

"Uh, just a few minutes, why?”

"Oh, no nothing. You, uh- haven't you seen anything strange?”

"Not yet, but it's still early. " I joke. "Why do you say that?”

“No reason,” He responds quickly.

"Are you okay, Peter? You're sweating a lot,” I point to his wet hair.

"Yes! Yes, I'm okay. Just, uh, a little nervous. It’s almost graduation and there are many things to do…”

"Really? I thought you just had to get a tux, you already have a date, what else do you have planned?”

"Uh, you know, I want that night to be special for the- the girl, my date, yeah,” He looks away.

"If you say so… Need help?”

"What?" He turns back to me. “No, no thanks. I'm fine, everything’s fine,” He looks to his right again. Rosier, Regulus and some other Slytherin boys stare back at us.

"Peter? Sure you're okay? Are they bothering you?”

"I should go. Goodbye, Persephone,” He doesn’t wait for my answer and runs in the opposite direction from the others.

That was very strange.

My gaze returns to Regulus. I sigh when he continues on his way with his friends.

How did he take the news about Alphard? Or maybe he already knew. I wish I could talk to him like I used to.

***

After a month, our student life finally ends. Very strange weeks, from my physical therapy with Madame Pomfrey, the other therapy with McGonagall and Dumbledore, although this was not planned, but it helped a lot to talk to the real adults about everything that I went through.

They didn't provide any solutions to my questions, but I still appreciate the help and advice. Dumbledore had a lot of muggle metaphors and references. I hope that one day they serve me and it’s not just a sign that the Headmaster has already gone crazy.

The time with my friends and boyfriend was quite relaxing. Talking about the future with them no longer sounded so overwhelming. We all panic about what might happen, but at least we are together.

The graduation ceremony was quite emotional. Apollo, Jane and Atlas congratulated me. My friends met my family and the little boy loved the attention, although he’s still a bit upset with Sirius. He was expecting another small gift and when he received nothing, his approval disappeared.

Only until the day of the big party where everyone wore their best clothes, did I realize that it was all over. Next year we won’t return to Hogwarts.

No more jokes in the hallways, late-night meetings with Remus, we no longer have to try to calm Lily before exams. We’ll no longer be able to see the gardens, go to the kitchens. One more minute trying to remember my entire experience in a magic school and I’ll cry.

"Several people are upset because they continue to trip near our table,” says Sirius handing me a glass of punch. “Do you have any idea what it could be? Because, it can't be you. You don't have the cane anymore,” He smiles raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe it's their long dresses. They must watch that,” I smile innocently and he shakes his head.

Oh, boy. Sirius looks like a real star. His long hair is slicked back, his tux fits him perfectly, and that beautiful smile lights up the entire room. Since when did I become such a cheesy girl? I don't know, but I blame him. Him and his perfect face.

"Admiring me again, darling?”

"I can't help it," I say without regret. Why should I?

"You flatter me, but you’re not the only one in front of someone dazzling.”

I laugh out loud.

"Are we really flirting that bad?" He laughs too.

“I don't think we ever tried. It's fun,” He drags his chair closer to me and puts his arm on the back of my chair. "This party is not so bad, is it?”

"I'm sorry I can't dance any longer. I feel like I will sound like an old woman, but my knees can't take it anymore.”

“Don't worry. I like to be here. Only with you,” He kisses my temple. I lean on his shoulder.

The others must be having fun. They laugh, dance and sing to the rhythm of the music. I think this is the first time I've seen Lily and Remus so relaxed. I'm even beginning to doubt if they didn’t get drunk prior the party, but I don’t judge, we are all of legal age.

Sirius and I listen to the music changing from afar to a slow, romantic song. James and Lily don't hesitate to be the first to share it. Some people are still a bit shocked by their official relationship, but I think it doesn't matter at this point. Jenna and Marlene dance near them. They all look so cute, and even Remus got his last dance, although it didn’t last long.

“Percy," Sirius calls after a while. I turn to see him. "Uh, there’s something I should talk to you about.”

"Are you pregnant?”

He laughs. "Not yet.”

"What's going on?”

“I know that after all this, you’ll continue to live with Apollo, but I wanted to ask you something. You don't have to answer me now, not even this week. I just want to give you the idea and you have time to think about it,” He says nervously.

“Okay?" I say confused.

"I wanted to know… Okay, the other day I got to know how much money my uncle Alphard left me and I was thinking about maybe using that money to buy an apartment. Not that is not cool with the Potters or anything. It's just that, I think it would be a good idea.”

"That's great, Sirius.”

Sirius living alone in an apartment, could be fun, watching him solve all the domestic problems alone and stuff.

“Yeah, that's what Euphemia and Fleamont said, even James, but I also thought– Maybe you… Uh, well, do you want to move in with me?”

“What?"

His nerves increase.

“Only if you want, you know. There is no pressure and it's not because we have to do something else, I don't want you to misunderstand things,” He speaks quickly. "I thought it’d be great to be with you and it’s also safer, we would protect each other. As usual.”

"Sirius, I don't know.”

“Think about it, love. I'll see some places with the Potters, everything will be fine no matter what you decide. When you’re ready you can tell me.”

Live with Sirius? Just the two? I'm not going to lie, it sounds good. But I still feel like I'm not physically ready yet and I'd be better off with Jane and Apollo. Just for a while.

But, moving in with my boyfriend. Not in a million years would I have thought of that possibility.

***

I didn't think I would cry on my last day. Right now I have to leave the room that I shared for seven years with Jenna. But what surprises me the most is that I’m not crying about leaving school, but because of the little letter that I found on my pillow.

Dear Persephone,

Despite all the problems we've had, I always considered you a sister. Part of my family, with or without my parents.

Hopefully one day you can forgive me for my past and future actions.

I can only tell you that I will always think of you in any and it is never my intention to hurt you in any way. I hope your life is better than mine. Take care of my older brother and your future together.

Since I met you, I discovered that my family motto is wrong. Family does not always have to be pure.

I will always love you, Persephone.

Do not worry about me. I will take care of you from afar.

Reggie x

I fold the letter, hold it to my chest, and squeeze it against me. In an ideal world, Regulus would be with us celebrating a new era. I’d be holding him so tight that he would complain. In an ideal world, I would protect one of my best friends forever.

***

"And I thought you wouldn't buy any nonsense with the inheritance money," I say crossing my arms.

"What are you talking about, Singh?" James says squealing like a little kid. "This is the coolest thing I've ever seen!”

"Your child is overexciting mine, Persephone,” says Lily to my side.

“It's not like he can help it. He thinks he can do things by himself,” I wince.

"You don’t like it?" Sirius pouts. He is seated on the new bike that he just bought.

"If I thought before that you could kill yourself with a broom, now I think you will kill yourself with that, darling,” I smile sarcastically.

"But do you like it?”

I roll my eyes.

"Yes, Sirius. It's pretty.”

James and Sirius keep talking about… things I don't understand. They both laugh and point to each part.

"I didn't think they would really do it,” Remus says from my left side. Lily and I look at him in surprise.

"You knew?”

“I thought they were joking,” he sighs. “Seven years and I keep falling for this. My bad.”

"Sirius, do you know how we could make this bike even cooler?”

"I hear you.”

"How about we use a little magic?”

"You, my friend. You’re a genious!" Sirius points out.

"This just keeps getting worse," says Lily.

“I don't want to see more. I have therapy,” I say and enter Apollo's house leaving Lily in mom mode with the two children and their new toy.

"Auntie, Phoney!" Atlas greets me from the chair that he shares with his mother, who is preparing some things for my therapy.

"Nephew, Atlas! I just saw you five minutes ago, but it's nice that you continue to get excited when you see me!” I sit next to him and tickle his little head. He laughs, but then he looks behind me. “Remooh." He points it out.

Remus smiles at the little boy and sits in a single chair.

"Don't you want to be with your friends?" I ask teasingly.

“They are very close to drooling on the bike. Atlas behaves better than them.”

"Yes?" The boy asks and we laugh.

"That's right, my love.”

"Ready?" says Jane. Then the torture begins.

At first it was very difficult, I couldn't help screaming, but now it's better. I do my best to relax or at least endure the pain.

"Just a couple more weeks and you'll be better,” reports my sister-in-law. She smiles. “And now, talking about the two children outside. You better get used to it. You’re lucky that Sirius chose a motorcycle. Your brother gets like this every time he gets an old coin. Ever since he knew it was a muggle hobby, he was interested in it. He has a huge collection.”

“No wonder my brother is so weird. Since we were little, he got excited about very boring things all the time…”

“Actually, collecting coins is more interesting than you think,” Remus adds and I look at him with a raised eyebrow. "Ok, I get it.”

"It hurt?" Atlas asks pointing at my leg.

“Not so much anymore.”

"I'll help you,” He leans towards me and with my help he gets up a little and kisses my cheek.

"Thanks, Atlas," I laugh.

"Will you hit me if I say you look nice with a baby?" Remus says with a mischievous smile.

“Hit you? Persephone!” Jane scolds me.

“Don't believe him, Janie. It is an exaggeration.”

“When she had the cane, she tripped me and I told her that if she kept complaining about the pain, no one would want to help her. I still have the bruise.”

"You have such a weak skin,” I pout.

Jane laughs shaking her head.

"But I still think you should have a baby.”

I roll my eyes.

"I already have one and he bought a motorcycle when I wasn't looking at him.”

"Wouldn't you like to have children, Persephone?" asks Jane.

"I don’t know. Maybe. I like children, I just don't know if I want to have one. They’re better when I can return them to their parents,” They both laugh. “What about you, Wolfie?”

"First I need a girlfriend.”

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot!” I roll my eyes. “Answer me.”

“Maybe," Remus replies.

"Well, for now I'll just be the favorite aunt of two children," I kiss Atlas's cheek.

Jane gets up when she finishes healing me.

"Yes, speaking of which…”

"What's going on?”

She smiles nervously.

"You will be an aunt to three babies.”

"What?" I screech.

“They're twins,” She announces.

"You and my brother need another hobby,” I grimace.

"Wow, three children!” Remus says surprised. "And so fast! Percy, can you imagine your children being friends with James and Lily's? It would be total chaos!”

"Oh, don't go to that dark place, Remus. You would be the official babysitter of that chaos,” I joke.

“Oh, no…”

Taglist:

@avipshamitra​   @auroraawrites​ @findzelda​  @lizlil​​ @siriusmuch​​   @chloe-geoghegan1​​ @reverse-hxlland​​  @may-rapp​​ @the-specific-oceans​​ @eveft​​  @secret-obsessions​​​  @theeicedamericano​​ @xkonpinkx​​​​    @inkandpen22​​​​

@littledeadgirlwalking​

@yunloyal

@bloodorangemoonlight​

[blaiddlleuad]

We'll meet again soon - wolfstar

Part 2

Sirius is eleven when he comes back.

This time it’s a Wednesday morning. Its late September and the trees are just starting to lose their green. Sirius couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned, flipped his pillow and changed pajamas. But he still was wide awake. He flips on the lamp that wobbled on his bed side table and sat back to staring at the mirror.

He can see himself inside. He's got his mother's grey eyes and his father's sharp cheek bones. He let his hair grow at the beginning of the year and now reaches at his shoulders. It's the same dark black as the rest of his family, one day he thinks he'd like to dye it like those men do in the magazine's he steals from the shops when he sneaks out.

He's been doing that a lot lately. Sneaking about like he's up to no good. He supposes he is really. Leaving his house in search for something fun to do. Ignoring his governess's words of wisdom to stay in line and his brother’s pleas to just be good for once. It's not the he's doing anything wrong, it's more like he's doing what his mother doesn't approve off (His father thinks it's funny, like how he was as a boy) and Sirius will do anything to piss her off.

The boy walks past just at that time. Between a blink and the light flickering. Sirius nearly misses him but he still sees the boy, taller again now.

"Hello?" He calls out.

Sirius wonders why he's doing this. Why he thinks it would be a good idea. But it was spur of the moment and the flash of something magic. A bubble that popped and a fairytale opening. A wisp of blue and purple and a flurry of dust. He couldn't miss it. The excitement coming alive. Or whatever it may be. He was being pulled towards something different, something that tickled the back of his throat.

"Hello?" He called out once more.

Then a head popped round the mirrors edge. His eyes amber, strong and mystery circled and swirled, a hint of confusion and curiosity. His tawny hair ending in curls and flopping across his head. Three great big scars ran across his face but freckles over populated and hid the scars behind them. Sirius thought he was beautiful.

"Why are you in my mirror?" The boy asked. It sounded like he was from Wales. (How is a welsh boy in an Italian mirror?)

"I'm not in your mirror. You're in mine." Sirius said. Well now that’s just odd he thinks.

"I'm sure I'm not in a mirror." The boy replied, he was now sitting down. Legs crossed and arms folded in a jumble, pointing which way and everywhere.

"Well, I'm sure I'm not either. What's your name?" Sirius asked.

"Remus. I’m Remus."

It's not until a couple of weeks later that Sirius and Remus have any sort of conversation. They smile and nod if they see one another and Sirius makes sure to say good morning and good night, even if Remus isn't there to hear him.

It's been a long day. With having a new tutor and the responsibility of being the eldest son is more tiring than Sirius expected. (He's only eleven for crying out loud!)

He changes out of stiff uniformed suit, ugly green and satin black, into his more comfortable loose jeans and blue shirt. He puts on his radio and listens to the buzz that fills the room as if it's empty and he's all alone. Like the room has expanded and grown larger in the time he took to switch it on. It makes everything echo, every breath he takes, every rustle he makes. But it's not a terrifying echo that would reach him and rid Sirius of safety, instead it gives it to him. Handing it over as a gift that should be looked after.

Sirius sits on the floor with his back against the bed. He's more stable when feeling the ground beneath him, more in control and he likes that. Regulus has found it funny. It was then that Remus came into view.

"Hello Sirius. You look tired." Remus said a matter of factly. He was wearing a too big jumper and joggers, Sirius wished he could go up to Remus and hug him, he did look soft and cuddly.

"Hi. And thanks."

"No, I didn't mean it like that. Is everything okay?"

"Ugh yes, just my tutor is so annoying. He's so old and, and old."

"Tutor?"

"You don't have one? Well I got a new one start of September, apparently I'm too old to be working with the governess. I actually liked her. She gave me sweets."

"Governess?"

Sirius faltered for a moment. Just a moment where he stopped, and everything around him did so too. It was late and of course his parents were in the parlor and his brother in the library but it seemed to him that even them had stopped. The radio still blared out music though it was all a jumble of words and sounds. Remus was different to him. Not a bad different but definitely different. Whether that be his clothes or his interest in books or the fact that he was from Wales. He was different.

Sirius however, couldn’t get it out of his head. He liked Remus, so him being any different wasn’t going to change that. He likes his smile and how his eyes light up when he does so, he likes his large cotton jumpers and his fluffy socks usually mismatched, he liked his array of freckles that resembled the stars and how they too were beautiful and that they kept distracting Sirius. He was always pulled away when Remus was in his head. But he didn’t mind. He rather liked it. At least he wasn’t constantly thinking about his mother.

“Do you go to school?” Remus asked, as Sirius came back from his momentary thinking.

“Yes, of course.”

“Like to a school. Not at home.”

“Well no. I mean, what’s it like?”

“Massive. Much larger than the local comp. Bigger library too, more books to choose from. The teachers are stricter and we have homework every week. I, I don’t really have friends, everyone is nice enough, some bitchy people but you can’t have everything, I guess. I like it, its nice. Chaotic but good.”

Sirius listened intently and imagined him and Remus sitting next to each other, passing notes and whispering about a teacher while their back is turned. Walking around, eating lunch, cracking jokes and bunking off boring lessons, hiding in the bathrooms. He imagined Remus with his head down, writing furiously, sticking his hand up and answering questions right first time, carrying around his books and reading it whenever he had a spare moment. He imagined himself pulling faces and winking at the girls, legs up relaxed and pen dangling from his teeth, tie wrapped around his head and jumper tied around his waist, sleeved rolled up to his elbows and cartoons drawn in black ink on his skin. Sirius wanted to hang out with Remus, wanted to wave him goodbye and hug with tight after a long holiday apart.

After that, they talked every night before bed. Sirius asking for more stories for Remus to tell, from his books or his life, Sirius didn’t mind, he just laid back and listened. Remus even asked his own set of questions, like what his favourite colour is to his deepest secrets. And, Sirius answered every one.

He is thirteen when he made a discovery.

It was while on one of his excursions, Sirius came about a bunch of boys around his age, maybe older he couldn’t tell. While he was wearing steam ironed shirts and smart trousers, they worse baggy jeans and jackets. Casual, Sirius thought. One of them was even wearing leather with patches and badges. They stood by the side of the road, by an alleyway that reached a rather run-down park. Sirius caught their attention as he tried to walk past.

“Oi posho!” One of them shouted. The boy with the leather. The boy with the brown eyes and perfectly straight teeth.

“Yes?” Sirius said and turned. Even though he could stare at them all day long, he really should be getting back.

“Should you be walkin’ bout these parts by yourself?”

“Why? Am I going to be in trouble?”

“Nah, jus’ gotta be safe ya know. Don’t want someone like you gettin’ in bad business.”

“Someone like me?”

“mph defiantly someone like you. Come on guys, mum said we havin’ bacon sarnies.”

The group of boys left, some more in a hurry than others but all leaving Sirius confused and alone in the middle of the path. He brushed it off and rushed home without raising suspicion from his parents. Sirius didn’t tell Remus about his little encounter and he certainly didn’t tell him about his feelings about it.

It was odd but not uncomfortable, slightly unnerving yet not something he would try and make go away. A soft and prickly feeling deep in his belly. A dizzying fermented bloom that sits peacefully within. A huge rounding urge that moves up and down, sideways and which ways. It flutters in his head and sinks in the pits. And he has these dreams. Fantasies that seem to real to be all in his mind. The touches and the looks. The flushed faces and cheeky winks. Sirius wakes up flustered and dazed, confused and shy of his own body, running to the bathroom before he can end up back asleep.

And it wasn't like he thought it would be. Sirius those he would be tripping up and dropping his things and walking into walls over girls. With the plump lips with perfect red lipstick, the dresses that flow when they spin in the wind, hair put in a bun effortlessly so even if pieces come out it looks like it was meant to be. That's what he sees when he goes out, when he sneaks glances over his shoulder or out of his window as a gaggle of girls squeal past. But that wasn't what he saw.

Sirius sees boys with boystorus laughs and rough shoulders, a bobbing Adams apple and the picked nails. The carless clothes and the forgotten hair that ruffles in the morning. The side looks filled with recognition and a silent talking that speaks too loud and too distant. Voices with envy and jealousy, tones with calm and gratitude. Sirius sees what he doesn't understand, what others don't notice. What they might deem inappropriate and juvenile.

Sirius couldn't make himself feel the same way for the girls. They didn't make him blush and turn away to hide it, they'd didn't make him dream about those pillow talks, they'd didn't make him fall head over heals. Sirius secretly enjoyed his difference. Though when it occurred to him who exactly made him feel that way; he didn't like it as much as he thought.

He liked Remus. More than just friends. He wished for things to happen and then didn't when he realised who it was. He had him in his dreams and let him come closer until he remembered and pushed away. He couldn't. No, he couldn't be falling for the boy in his mirror.

Sirius is fifteen when Remus told him his secret.

The years had gone by like lightning flashing after thunder. Quick but the rumble still goes one and is rarely forgotten. Sirius told himself to never forget the times he watches Remus talk; when he grows tall and when he gets excited, where he flashes him the smile that send him sky rocketing, even the times where they are both silent. He captivates everything. Storing it in his head and keeping it safe.

Sirius had hoped that maybe his falling would stop and he would be caught be another. But it never happened. He was stuck in a sticky pulsing red that captured him and held him tight. As Sirius watched Remus grow through the mirror, he fell faster and faster.

Its a warm August evening. His fan ran circles to cool him down and stop the sweat from bubbling up. His windows were strechted open a soft breeze coming through though not in aid to the heat that gathered. Sirius changed into shorts and a tank vest top. It was either that or being naked. And Sirius didn't think neither he or Remus would find any delight in that sight.

"Hey Sirius. I see you are getting the heat wave."

"Oh yeah it's just so great. Hang on! How are you in a jumper?"

"It's not hot. Cool breeze we have here."

"So unfair. I'm telling you. You should see Regulus, he cant handle the heat and has been taking ice baths to cool down! I think you would get along with him."

"Sirius."

"Yeah."

"I need to tell you something."

Remus whispered that. It was quiet and barely audible but Sirius caught and couldn't help but stare. For the first time that night he really got a look at Remus. Instead of the casual boy that always chose to sit cross legged with a smile, he was anxiously running his hands through another and Sirius noticed his eyes cast away, down at the floor like his carpet had changed patterns and was now interesting.

"Are, are you okay Remus?"

"I have to tell you something."

"Okay."

"I, I'm, god this is hard. Well basically, I am, I am gay."

He has tears in his eyes. Sirius can't talk. His throat is dry. Sirius just plumetted to the hard ground in which he had started falling towards. He smiles.

They are nineteen when ready at the train station.

They run and run, breathing is hard but they don't care. Bags thumping against backs and shoes squeak as they dodge past other people. They lose eachother other for only a moment though it is too long of a second for then to shrug it on. It has claws that scratch and teeth that bite. The second passes and they both stop. Staring at eachother in the flesh. They stop and just stare. Its too unreal, too much and too heart aching.

But it doesn't matter. The throbbing pain that threatens to tear them apart subdues as the platform grows quiet. They slowly take steps forward, engulfing the space between before it's nothing more than a mere inches. Remus makes the first move. He wraps his arms around Sirius and sqeazes tight. They both do. It's been too long to not let go.

"You are even better in person." Sirius whispers into Remus's chest.

They pull away just the much needed to reach and hold onto each others faces. With no one around and no one to disturb them, they kiss. Gentle and soft. Lips press together, fitting around awkward and fitting snug. A bliss that shines bright, a pleasure that rushes red, a joy that filtered around the edges.

"You've always been in the middle of my mirror."

"You've always been in the middle of my mind."

[remywrites5]

For @hannieschaftlover who had a difficult day with a test! Hope this makes you feel better! 

***

           James was in the locker room getting out of his disgusting and sweaty Quidditch gear. The Gryffindor team had just finished their practice and the Slytherin team had the pitch next. James had almost run his training long just to be obnoxious but he figured it wasn’t worth it. He was too tired to get into a duel with the Slytherins after he worked his team for hours.

           Everyone else had already showered and gone but James had stayed behind to lecture Gideon and Fabian about being reckless with their bats up there and not paying enough attention because they were mucking about. They claimed James was overacting but James wanted to win the bloody Quidditch cup this year. He wasn’t going to let anything stand in his way.

           He had just pulled his shirt off when Regulus came in, tugging his hand through his hair angrily. He kicked at one of the open lockers, letting it fly back and bang against the others over and over.

           “Reg!” James said, jumping to his feet and putting his hand on Regulus’ arm. “What it is? What’s wrong?”

           Regulus blinked slowly a few times and it seemed like he was just registering that James was even there. He lifted his chin up, his eyes red rimmed as if he’d been crying earlier. “James?” Regulus choked out, taking a step back. “What are you doing here?”

           “Uh, this is the Gryffindor locker room, mate,” he said gently, still holding onto Reg’s arm. He didn’t really trust him to stand up on his own since he was clearly upset.

           “Oh,” Regulus said, glancing around. “Sorry.”

           “Nothing to be sorry for,” James responded, giving Reg a small, reassuring smile. “Honest mistake.”

           “I should go.”

           James released Regulus’ arm only to have Reg stumble a bit, uneasy on his own two feet. James rushed forward and caught him. “I’m not sure that’s the best idea, Reg. Why don’t you just wait a moment until you feel a bit better?”

           Regulus took another step back but James still didn’t release him. He wasn’t about to let Reg go arse over tea kettle just because he was a stubborn git. “I’m not going to feel better.”

           James scoffed and pulled Reg into a hug. “Tell me what’s wrong.” Regulus thrashed against him weakly, his movements to put some space between them hardly doing anything at all. “Look, I’ve got all bloody day and I’m just as stubborn as you are so you might as well quit it and talk to me!” James tightened his arms around Regulus, leaving him not quarter to escape. Reg choked back a sob and buried his face in James’ neck, sniffling slightly.

           “I failed my Defense Against the Dark Arts exam,” Regulus said bitterly, his voice muffled against James’ skin. “Couldn’t conjure a Patronus.”

           James laughed. “Is that all?”

           Regulus must have gotten some of his strength back because he shoved at James’ chest. “What would you know about it? You don’t care about school! You don’t care about anything! All you want to do is muck about with Sirius.”

           “That’s not true.”

           Regulus finally broke out of James’ hold and began to pace in front of him. “It was a practice exam for my O.W.Ls that are coming up in just a few months.”

           “Reg, you’re going to do great on them,” James said, tracking Reg with his eyes to make sure he didn’t collapse again. “Besides, it’s mostly about counter-jinxes and the lot. Plus there’s the questions portion. You’ll do fine on that. Who cares if you can’t do a Patronus?”

           “Can you?” Regulus spat out, glaring at James.

           “Well yeah,” James said with a noncommittal shrug. “But who cares? Maybe you just weren’t using a good enough memory for it. What were you thinking about anyway?”

           Regulus’ scowl turned nearly murderous. “That’s none of your business, Potter.”

           James smirked. “Was it me?”

           Regulus rolled his eyes. “You know it’s amazing you get your head from room to room with how inflated it’s gotten. One of these days you’re just going to float off and no one will ever get you to come back down.”

           James crossed his arms over his chest. “I was going to offer to help you but if you’re going to be a little shite about it then I won’t bother.”

           Regulus chewed his bottom lip as if debating if it was worse to spend time with James or fail one of his Owls. James tried to not take it personally that Reg seemed to be struggling to make a decision. “Fine, you can help me,” he said finally.

           “Awfully kind of you,” James answered dryly. “We’ll start tomorrow. Meet me in the Astronomy Tower after classes. We’ll work until dinner.”

           “Fine,” Regulus said, eyeing James for a moment and then slipping out of the locker room. James stared after him and shook his head, wondering just what he was getting himself into this time.

                                                           ***

           Regulus was making his way up to the Astronomy Tower, wondering just what in the hell he’d been thinking agreeing to this. He and James Potter were not friends. They weren’t anything. Regulus couldn’t trust Potter for a moment even if his stupid brother seemed to. There was no saying that James wouldn’t hex him and leave him in the tower to suffer.

           Regulus stopped when he heard voices. He slowed his footsteps down, tiptoeing up the steps and keeping out of sight. Once he got close enough to hear, he remained crouched in the shadows.

           “You think he’s going to show?” Regulus recognized the voice of his brother. Why the fuck was Sirius there?

           “I don’t see why not,” James Potter spoke up.

           “You two better be nice to him when he comes or he’ll turn around and leave,” came a third voice, surprisingly deep for a sixteen-year-old boy. Just how many people had Potter told about this?

           “I’m always nice.”

           “Yeah right, Prongs, everyone knows I’m the nice one!”

           “The only reason people tolerate you is because of how nice I am, Pads!”

           “If he doesn’t show up soon I’m going to go back to the common room. I’ve got my own homework to work on. Potions essays don’t write themselves no matter how much magic I learn.”

           “Oh come on, Moony, don’t be a grump. What are you going to do that’s more fun than being here with us?”

           “Exactly! And don’t you want to see Prongs absolutely embarrass himself when he tries to chat Reg up?”

           Regulus’ jaw dropped in surprise. He could hear Potter sputtering. “I don’t do that!”

           “I thought you liked Lily.”

           “I do but she still won’t give me the time of day! Padfoot if you don’t stop laughing at me I swear to Godric – “

           “You should have heard him last night, Moony! Started talking poetic about Reg and how he just wants to take care of him.”

           “I think that’s very sweet of you, Prongs.”

           “Hey, no fair! I’m sweet too! Don’t call Prongs sweet over me, Moony! I won’t have it!”

           Regulus figured he might as well make his presence known. It seemed like these three would continue on all day if he didn’t and he wasn’t about to miss dinner. He walked up the last few steps, noticing they all went quiet when he approached. Regulus stood awkwardly in the doorway and waited for someone to break the silence.

           It turned out to be Sirius. “Wotcher, Reg!” he said, waving excitedly at his younger brother.

           “Glad you could make it!” James said, punching Sirius in the arm.

           “Ow! You cretin!” Sirius said, rubbing where James had hit him.

           “Is there a reason why you’re all here?” Regulus asked, shoving his hands in his pockets nervously. “I wasn’t exactly expecting an audience.”

           “Oh well…” James took a step forward and glanced around at Remus and Sirius. “You see, I might have bloody jumped the gun a bit when I offered to help you. I’ve never taught anyone anything before – “

           “ Understatement of the century,” Sirius chipped in.

           James glowered at Sirius for the interruption. “ – And it was actually Remus who taught me to do the Patronus so I thought I better bring him along just in case. This wanker –“ James hitched his thumb at Sirius. “Decided to tag along because Merlin forbid he be on his own for five seconds.”

           “I came to help too!” Sirius said cheerfully. He bounded over to Regulus and threw his arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a sideways hug. “Anything for my little brother!”

           “Gerroff,” Regulus said, ducking out from under Sirius. Sirius just grinned at him pleasantly, unoffended by Regulus moving away from him. “I didn’t even want you here, Potter, what makes you think I wanted them here as well?”

           “Oh, well…”

           Remus Lupin closed the book he’d been reading and stood up to his full height. Regulus had never noticed before but the bloke could be kind of intimidating when he wanted to be. Maybe it was the scars or that he towered over everyone else in the room. Usually he looked lean and lanky in his long body but at the moment he looked sure and strong.

           “If you don’t want my help, that’s fine,” Remus said evenly, staring straight at Regulus and ignoring the other two. “If you don’t want to be here and we don’t want to be here then we can all just go and forget helping you.”

           Regulus wrung his hands together anxiously. “I want your help,” he grumbled out, deciding he’d come all this way and he might as well benefit from the trouble he’d gone to.

           “Excellent,” Remus said, putting his book down. His face suddenly changed and the terrifying figure Remus had cut a moment before was gone. He hunched his shoulders to make himself more level with everyone else but Regulus wasn’t fooled. He decided to keep his guard up for the rest of the lesson.

           Remus walked around the astronomy tower in a circle, talking to Regulus calmly with his hands behind his back. They started with a few defensive spells and Regulus dueled against James. He could tell James was taking it easy on him but then again it wasn’t exactly a fight to the death.

           When they worked their way up to the Patronus, Regulus was feeling a bit more confident in his abilities. He wished everything came to him as easily as Potions did. He’d always been better at practical magic than wand waving. It was just another thing he and Sirius were completely opposite on as he knew Sirius excelled at dueling. He’d seen Sirius fighting some of the Slytherins in the year above Reg, Avery and his lot.

           Regulus closed his eyes and tried to conjure up his happiest memory. He thought about the first time he’d caught the snitch and won the match for Slytherin. When he opened his eyes a few thin wisps of white came out of his wand but nothing more.

           Regulus sat down on the floor and put his head in his hands. “It’s no use. I won’t get it. I’ll never get it.”

           “We’ll keep practicing,” Lupin promised, gathering up his things. “But unfortunately it’s dinnertime so we’d best call it a day for now. You did really well, Regulus. Really well.”

           Regulus looked up and gave Lupin a weak smile. “Thanks,” he said sincerely. He wasn’t sure if Lupin would believe him. “I mean it, thank you.”

           Lupin gave him a small smile in return. “You’re welcome.”

           “Aww, I never thought I’d see the day that my boyfriend and my brother were getting along!” Sirius said, wiping away a fake tear and then clasping his hands together against his chest as if overcome with emotion.

           “Boyfriend?” Regulus echoed, looking between Sirius and Remus. “You’re dating?”

           “Whoops, dog’s out of the bag!” Sirius said, giggling.

           “Sirius – “ Remus said, his tone warning.

           “The expression is cat’s out of the bag,” James admonished him, shaking his head.

           “Who in their right mind would put Minnie in a bag?” Sirius asked, putting his hands on his hips. “She’d scratch her way right out of it!”

            “A dog wouldn’t fit in a bag! It has to be a cat!” Potter reasoned, throwing his hands up in the air. Regulus had no idea what they were going on about and frankly he was still processing the fact that his brother and Remus were dating. Not that he expected Sirius would have said anything about it. It wasn’t as if they were close.

           “That’s why it’s out of the bag, Jamie. Honestly.”

           Lupin shook his head. “Come on, Pads, I’m starving,” he said, taking Sirius’ hand and tugging him towards the door. Sirius whined until Lupin bent down and kissed him. Regulus felt a familiar sense of jealousy curl deep down within him. Not that he wanted to be with Remus, but just the fact that his brother had someone while Reg was so completely alone.

           “Bye Reg, see you later!” Sirius said, ruffling Reg’s hair as he walked by. Regulus batted his hand away and tried to smooth his hair back down. He got to his feet and noticed James was still there.

           “Did you need something, Potter?”

           “What do you think about when you try and conjure the Patronus?” James asked quietly, taking a step towards Reg.

           “Why is that your business?” Reg snapped at him, his hands curling defensively into fists.

           “I mean, maybe I’m out of line but Sirius is my best friend and I know him pretty well. I know what it’s like, at your house, the way your parents treat you.” James took a few more steps towards Reg, his hands up in front of his chest in surrender, placating. “I know Sirius had a hard time conjuring a Patronus too.”

           “Sirius doesn’t struggle with anything,” Regulus said, unable to keep the malice out of his voice. “He never has.”

           James snorted and then glanced down sadly. “It’s a real shame you two don’t talk more,” he said, reaching out and putting his hand on Reg’s shoulder. “He doesn’t have it as easy as you think. It makes me wonder about you.”

           Regulus glanced away. “What about me?”

           James sighed, reaching his other hand out and cupping Reg’s cheek. “Do you even have a good memory to think about? Have you ever felt just completely happy? I can’t even remember if I’ve seen you smile and I’ve known you for years.”

           Regulus frowned. “I’m not my brother,” he said, letting out a shaky breath. “You don’t know me, Potter.”

           “Maybe not,” James said, bringing his thumb down to rest on Reg’s jawline and tilting his face up to meet James’ gaze. “But I still want you to be happy.”

           “Why?” Regulus challenged, his eyes heating up with the threat of tears.

           “Take a wild guess,” James said, not backing down. When one of Reg’s tears broke free despite his best efforts, James gently wiped it away with his finger.

           “I have no idea.”

           James smiled sadly. “I think I could love you if you’d let me.”

           All of the air was punched out of Reg’s chest at the declaration. He’d been unprepared for it, feeling like the whole world had shifted on its axis. “James –“ he gasped out just before James kissed him softly. Regulus reached out and gripped James by the front of his robes, holding onto him with need, afraid of what would happen if he let go for even a moment. James seemed to stiffen slightly as if expecting Regulus to push him away. Instead, Regulus pulled him closer, sliding his hands up James’ collar and then wrapping his arms around his neck. In return James brought his arms around Reg’s waist, his hands clasping together at the small of Reg’s back.

           James pulled away after a while, his breathing ragged as he held onto Regulus, cheek to cheek with each other. “Think that was a good enough memory to get you there or should I try again?” he asked with a soft chuckle.

           “I’m not sure,” Regulus said, turning his head and pressing a kiss to James’ cheek. “You better try again just to be sure.”

           James pulled back enough that they could look at each other, his eyes shining bright behind his glasses. His smile was so vivid and infectious that Regulus couldn’t help smiling in return. When he did, it made James’ smile shine ten times brighter as if he’d just witnessed something amazing. “If you insist.”

[minervahopebeyond]

Blood Petals.

Hi, Everyone! This was so much fun to write!!

I’m not going to update for a few days because I have to do a paper for college. As soon as I finish it I can write again.

I hope you enjoy this chapter!! 😊💕

Ps. I’ve checked but I’m sorry if you find any grammar or vocabulary errors.

Chapter 8: Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

August brought good news to Grimmauld Place: Sirius name was cleared. He still needed to do a trial in a few months but he was granted a permit to get out of the house. It turned out that Mr. Potter was almost done with the test so he could be taken into account to vouch for Sirius.

It seemed as if everything was falling into place. The weird thing was that outside, things were getting pretty ugly. He couldn’t help but to be worried about his mother at Malfoy Manor.

“I just need you to tell her that I’m safe. And watch over her. Please, Severus...” His godfather refused to send information to her, which he didn’t like but after a few fights he understood. He tried to keep Draco informed about how she was doing every week (when the meetings took place).

Severus was still mad with him. The blond boy considered telling him, but he didn’t want to be pitied anymore. And there’s the fact that Severus would know who it is... Because back in fourth year, Draco went to his office (crying) and yelled at him about how utterly barbaric the first task was in that bloody tournament. He also demanded that Potter to be disqualified right there and then, to which his godfather responded:

“I will not let him die. He has to compete, there is no other option. Breathe, Draco.” He made a small pause and looked at him with kind eyes. “You foolish child... how long have you kept this inside?” And Draco started to cry even harder.

At least Mr Potter and Sirius seemed to be blind about the whole thing. They still, occasionally, joke about Weasley being his secret love. How can someone see him around Potter and not know? He even feels embarrassed about how obvious it is. Specially living at Grimmauld, because he could call him all the mean names he wanted but he was in Potter’s house . He couldn’t bully him in there or ignore him because it would be rude and it would hurt Sirius’s and Mr. Potter’s feelings.

Just a couple of weeks and they would be back at school. Not petals yet, even though the coughs were getting worst.

He just needed a distraction, to take a walk, whatever. He had a plan. Next week the twins would open the shop at diagon alley and he was determined to go. And because he knew that te answer was going to be ‘No, kid, it’s too dangerous’ he made a list of precautions that he promised to follow:

1. Mr. Potter and Sirius would come

2. I will change my hair color (black) with cosmetic charms

3. I will use Sirius old muggle clothes (because they will never suspect it)

4. It would be a short visit (an hour and a half)

5. In case something happens and I get caught I will not hold you responsible for that and I highly recommend to be obliviated so they can’t torture me for information.

He put that same list in front of Severus, Sirius and Mr Potter.

“No. Go upstairs, you are interrupting a meeting”

“I hate to agree with him but no, cousin.”

Draco rolled his eyes and groaned. It was just this thing! He never asked for anything. They were so unfair.

“I actually don’t see anything bad with it”

Mr Potter was an angel on earth. Draco smiled brightly at him. The other two men were looking at him, furiously.

“It may have slipped your notice, Potter, but you do not have a good radar for deathly situations.”

It was the wrong thing to say. Mr Potter face changed and looked with a severe face at him.

“I would recommend you to shut your greasy mouth, Snivellus.”

Draco frowned. He never called Severus names, it was a force of habit because of Lily. His godfather really had upset him. And something shifted in the potions professor too, something like pain and guilt. He closed his eyes and sighed before turning to Draco again.

“ONE hour. And you put something on your face that makes them think you are someone else.”

Draco nodded quickly. Pansy had taught him how to do his eyes, she had given him a shadow palet last year. With that, the muggle clothes and the black hair he would be safe for sure. Sirius interrupted them.

“How did I turned out to be the only responsible adult around here? This is a bad idea and I’M saying it!”

Draco 01- Adults 00

——————————

‘This is so bloody weird’ . Draco looked at his reflection on the mirror. The black color of his hair highlighted his skin tone and made the grey of his eyes stand out more. He kind of looked like Regulus.

He put some make up on too, black eyeliner and used a little blue metallic eyeshadow, very soft, to cover his eyes a little more. If someone would say he looked stupid, he could say that Severus made him do this. They didn’t need to know that Draco loved putting make up on.

Sirius had lend him a ‘Bowie t-shirt’ (which he still didn’t understand what it was, apparently some singer that muggles liked), some light-blue jeans that were ripped on the front and a pair of combat boots. He looked good. He thought it would be too weird but the style suited him rather nicely.

“Kid! Come on, everyone is already there.” Mr. Potter screamed from downstairs.He grabbed his wand and left his room.

“Hey, Sirius! I brought your brother back too!”

“IF YOU DID BLOOD MAGIC I’LL-“

And then he stopped talking when he saw Draco. His mouth was open and he had a disbelief look on his eyes. He could see the tears starting to appear on his eyes.

“You look just like him... I mean, not the clothes but-“ He could hear his voice cracking. His cousin reach to touch his face and his hair. “Prongs can you come, please?” Now Sirius was absolutely crying and Draco felt bad about joking about it before. Mr. Potter came running then.

“Padfoot? Why are you crying... Oh”

“He looks just like him, doesn’t he? Like if Regulus was using my clothes.” He said between tears.

Mr. Potter nodded and pulled Sirius into a hug. He kept whispering things to calm him down and at some point his cousin relaxed. It always surprised him how well he knew Sirius. When he was sad, when he was happy, when he was pissed off (and didn’t tell anyone)... James always knew, and he always knew what to do about it.

He would never regret making that deal. Never. How could he? He didn’t know Sirius without James and he didn’t want to.

After Sirius washed his face, they left the house. They apparated to the shop and got in as quickly as possible, the more eyes they avoided the better, but when they got in the place was crowded.

“It’s okay, kid. Just be careful. We will be here if anything happens.” He nodded at Mr. Potter and left to find the Gryffindors. It was bloody difficult with so many people there. Suddenly someone grabbed his arm, he turned to look, it was Potter.

“I though the whole point of you using this stuff was to not attract attention.” He said in a low voice. Draco frown at him.

“The whole point was not to look like me, and I don’t.” He said as pointed to his outfit and make up.

“Of course you look like you! And this is not blending in, Malfoy.” Potter hissed at him. So Potter thought he looked horrible. ‘ Don’t cough. Don’t cough. Don’t cough ’. He pulled his arm away from the boy and crossed his arms, uncomfortable.

“Sweet Merlin, you are on muggle clothes!” He heard Weasley when he appeared beside him, he was jumping on his spot like a bloody child. Draco rolled his eyes. “We should send a picture to Charlie!”

Potter pulled a disgusted face at that. Draco had this theory that Potter was a little disgusted by homosexuality. He wasn’t going to say that being gay was a bad thing, but if someone acted on it or talked about acting on it... He would react like this. Crossing his arms, looking away, making disgusted faces or changing the subject completely.

“ It’s a joke, Potter.” The green eyed boy had an annoyed expression on his face anyway. Draco turned to look at Weasley, maybe he knew why his best friend was so pissed off, but the redhead just shrugged.

They started walking so Draco could take a look around the place. It was so colorful. It seemed as if there was only happiness in the shop. Everyone was laughing, having a good time, and Ron told him that the sales were going pretty well from what he knew.

The three of them were looking at the Pygmy Puff section. Draco couldn’t understand how such a little thing could be so cute and fluffy. Weasley didn’t seemed to understand how fascinated he was with the creature, he kept asking if he was planning on passing the entire hour looking at balls of fur(to which Draco responded that it was a possibility, yes).

“Draco? Is that you?” He froze. He knew that voice. Potter and Weasley were with their wands on their hands already, just in case. He turned to see the boy and casted a muffliato around them so they could not be heard.

“Blaise. Hi.” He said with a small voice. It’s not like Blaise would do anything to him, as far as he knew, his family was neutral in the last war. It shouldn’t be different now.

Blaise was so handsome. Sometimes Draco thought so much about Potter, that he would forget that there were other attractive people on the planet. Looking at Blaise right now, he remembered why he was the first option on his list.

The boy was about the same hight as Draco. His dark skin looked so smooth, inviting to be touched. His deep dark eyes were looking at him as if he was in shock. Then Blaise smiled at him so brightly that it seemed to light up the whole room. He pulled Draco into a bone crushing hug while he was lifting him a little. His feet weren’t touching the ground, Blaise was so strong...

“Thank Merlin you are alive. Pansy will kill you for running away. You know that, right? Months and not even a letter saying that you didn’t die.”

He hugged Blaise back a little tighter, trying to convince him in that same hug that he was safe, that he shouldn’t worry.

“I’m hiding, I can’t send owls. I’m sorry, darling” He always used pet names with Pansy and Blaise. It was an habit that he got from his mother, she would always praise the ones she loved. She said it reminded them that they were importan to us, special.

“You look great, you know? I thought you were a random pretty guy. I was coming here to seduce you with my charms” Draco chuckled at that. Blaise put him down and looked at him with warm eyes. “This suits you, Dragon. I approve.”

Draco smiled at him and did a little twirl. He heard someone groaned behind him and he turned around.

“I haven’t seen my friends in two months, either you are patient and let me talk or you leave.” Weasley had his hands up as if he was saying ‘Not me,mate, I don’t care’ but Potter on the other hand was frowning at him.

“You shouldn’t be talking at all. He could tell someone he saw you with us. I don’t like it.” Draco glared at him.

“First: I don’t think the Zabini family will get involved in all of this. Second of all, Potter: who the hell asked for your opinion?” And that did it, because the green eyed boy looked so pissed off that he turned around and left. Weasley sighed and said that he was going to talk to him, see what the problem was. Draco nodded and said that he’ll be right there, just a few more minutes.

“Well, that was something I’ve never thought I’ll see. Potter being protective of you, I mean.” Draco chuckled and shook his head.

“ I think he’s worried that I’ll get kidnapped and they will know everything I know now.”

Blaised looked at him with an amused expression and shook his head.

“If you say so...”

They talked a little more, Draco promised to sit with him and Pansy on the train as always and asked Blaise to not say a word to anyone that he saw him, not even Pansy. Blaise complained a little but agreed.

“Just be careful.”

Draco nodded and gave him one last hug before he went looking for the Gryffindors.

He found them with Granger and Ginevra by the Amortentia fountain. Potter didn’t even looked at him. The twins were making fun of their sister because of Thomas. Draco being bored grabbed a little vial and opened it.

He knew he would smell Potter in there, he just didn’t know how. He put the vial in front of his nose and breathed in the potion. It was marvelous. Something sweet, like treacle tart. There was also the smell of fresh cut grass mixed with broom polish... like the quidditch pitch at Hogwarts. The last one was Potter’s cologne, which Draco thought it was ridiculous because it was the cheapest thing ever. The things that attracted him the most were all Potter. He sighed, the soft tickles started to act up. Please, not now.

He saw Potter frowning at his vial. Draco was sure he would regret it, but he walked around the fountain to stand next him.

“You look unhappy, Scarhead. What did you smelled there? “

“It’s none of you business, Malfoy.”

Draco rolled his eyes. They stood quietly there, hearing Weasley bickering with Granger about nonsense. A few moments later the dark haired boy spoke.

“This could be wrong, right? Like if it wasn’t brewed properly” Potter kept looking down, cute blush on his face. Draco smirked at him.

“If it wasn’t brewed properly you wouldn’t smell anything, besides, I smelled it too and it works fine. Believe me.”

Apparently it wasn’t what Potter wanted to hear because he blushed even harder and put the vial down.

“Really, Potter, why is it such a big deal?” The boy shrugged.

“If you mock me about it and I will hex you, Malfoy” The tickles on his ribs were even harder.

“Out with it. I promise I’ll keep my mouth shut.” The green eyed boy looked at him and took a step forward so he could lower his voice. He was looking at the rest of the Gryffindors that were on the other side of the fountain, as if he was making sure they weren’t going to be heard.

“One was Treacle tart... the other was the woody scent of a broomstick handle and” Potter looked down and muttered: “something flowery thats from the burrow.”

Draco just stood there. It was Ginevra. Of course it was. And Potter really had feelings for her because otherwise he wouldn’t had smelled her in the stupid vial. The strong tickles started, and they were worst than ever. He shouldn’t had asked. How fucking stupid could he be, Merlin. The first cough came out and he tried to push down the rest, to calm himself down, but it was useless. Draco was having a coughing fit and he just couldn’t stop.

“Malfoy? Do you need water?” Potter had a worried look in his eyes and he reach out to touch Draco’s back. He moved away quickly. If he touched him right then, it would be worst. Suddenly Ron was grabbing his face.

“Ferret, focus. What can we do?”

He couldn’t stop coughing, his lungs where burning. Shit. Not now, just a few more weeks, please . He forced his voice out, it came out very rough and affected.

“Sirius.” And Ron was yelling at Potter to look for him and Mr. Potter and to take them outside of the shop, while he took Draco there too. He was still coughing and making his best effort not to cry from pain. It burned so fucking much.

When they got outside the three of them were already there waiting for him.

“Kid? Do you hear me? We are going to apparate you home, don’t freak out.” He turned to look at Potter who was arguing with Sirius that he should go back with them (his cousin didn’t agreed). “Harry, stay with Ron. Please. We’ll go get you at the burrow later.” and he took Draco’s hand and apparated to Grimmauld place.

The moment Draco put a foot inside the house he ran to the bathroom and locked the door. He kept coughing but now he didn’t have to hide it, so it was a little better.

He looked down at the sink and there it was: a single flower petal covered in blood. He opened the tap and washed it so he could see it better.

It was a little yellow daffodil petal, also known as narcissus. He knew what it meant because of mother: it could be rebirth and new beginnings or it was also a symbol of unrequited love. He clearly new which meaning it had. Draco heard a knock on the door, so he quickly vanished the petal away. Both men entered.

“Are you alright? That was a really bad one...” Asked Mr. Potter.

Draco just nodded and said that he was better now.

“Did you cough any petals yet?”

He should tell them. He knew he should. But he couldn’t risked it. If Severus found out, it would be awful. He would be treated as if he was weak: they wouldn’t let him go to Hogsmeade without supervision, they would kick him out of the team and everyone would look at him with such pity. It wasn’t an option. Draco shook his head.

“No. Don’t worry, it’s still only the coughs”

And then he smiled at them.

[jamsiesir]

Hello! I’ve been checking your prompts list and I don’t know if you’d write something besides romantic relationship but I’ll try my chance. 😅 Would you consider writing something brotherly between Sirius and Regulus? I’d be happy if you write one of this three: 23, 44, or 45💕

Hi, anon. I’ve tried to do all of the quotes because I thought of something that could fit well enough. As I finished it, I’m not actually sure I caught the prompts’ essence or what you were thinking about when you asked for it, but I hope you will like it anyway <3

It’s also pretty long.

TW: Physical abuse, TW: Psychological abuse (Walburga’ and Orion’s A+++ parenting)

This is the order I used for the quotes:

23. We’re so weird. That’s what I like about us, actually.

45. A promise is all I want. A promise that you will never forget me.

44. Tears are words the heart cannot say.

---

Sirius is only a year and a half when Regulus is born: he can’t remember anything of that very moment - all he can say about it is that he has loved him since his very first cry. Years later, Sirius would rather die than admit how much he loves his little brother, but at six years old he doesn't have all that pride, neither does he have all that anger that will tear them apart. 

«Do it again, Siri!» Regulus little voice calls out, giggling as a four year old does, clapping excitedly. 

Father and Mother are at uncle Cygnus' home, so the two of them are all alone (if you don't count Kreacher) - in moments like this, Sirius feels as free as a bird and does whatever he can to make Regulus feel like that too. 

«Okay,» he says, climbing up the stairs again. «Move, go more on the right - you'll get hurt» he advises his little brother as he jumps onto the banister. He waits to see if Regulus moved away and then, he smiles at him. «Ready, Reg?» as his little brother nods, Sirius gives himself a push, letting his body slide down the banister. 

Regulus shrieks happily, then runs towards him and stands there - his little hands pressed on his sides, big eyes twinkling with adoration. 

Sirius beams at him, then climbs down to stand on the floor and reaches out to hug him. «It was funny, wasn't it?»

Regulus hums gladly, arms going around Sirius' body just like he wanted to do before. 

«Do you know what's more funny, Reg?» the older brother asks, biting down a laugh at the confused face Regulus shows. «The tickling monster!» Sirius announces and then moves his fingers to his sides, tickling him. 

«Nooo, Siri, stooop» Regulus begs, giggling and then laughing out loud, trying to get away. 

How unfitting of the heir of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and his brother, Sirius thinks in a good imitation of his mother's sneer. Good thing he will never get tired of having fun. 

---

Regulus hugs himself, hidden in his room, as his parents' voices rumble in the corridor linking Sirius' room to his own. He and his brother were playing their own version of hide and seek, counting together and then running away to hide from Sirius' boring tutor - giggling silently as the man went crazy searching for them. 

Then, Mother and Father came back home and got angry at them. As always, Sirius is taking the blame, getting scolded and - Regulus shudders as the sound of a slap resounds in the silence - and this time isn't even his fault. Regulus has noticed Sirius was bored and - and he has wanted to cheer him up just like his big brother does for him every time. He bites on his bottom lips, feeling his eyes burn at the noises and yells - he swallows the tears down and raises his chin, back straightening up. A Black doesn't cry, it doesn't matter if he is only six years old. 

«Kreacher,» he calls out, voice shaking a little. 

The crack of apparition is too loud. «Master Regulus has called Kreacher?» the house elf asks, looking at him. 

The boy nods, pressing his hands to his eyes in an attempt not to cry. «Kreacher, could you please tell me when Mother and Father go downstairs?» I want to go to Sirius remains unsaid. 

As Kreacher disapparates, Regulus closes his eyes and waits, willing for the time to go quickly. 

After what seems like an eternity, Kreacher apparates again into the room. «Master Orion and Mistress Walburga are in the tapestry room, Master Regulus» he says, bowing until his nose touches the floor. 

Regulus smiles a little at him. «Thank you, Kreacher. You are very nice.»

The house elf looks like he wants to disagree, but doesn't and bows again before disappearing for the second time. 

Regulus climbs down the bed and runs to the door, then tiptoes along the corridor towards Sirius' room. 

As he opens the door, he sees his brother curled up on the bed - his shoulders are shaking and Regulus can see that he is trying to subside the sobs. The boy enters the room slowly, as if trying not to disturb him, then closes the door without making a sound. 

«Sirius» Regulus calls out, going near the bed. 

«Go away, Reg» Sirius replies with a broken voice. 

«I'm sorry, Siri» he keeps on, jumping on the bed. «It’s all my fault, I'm sorry» Regulus tells him, feeling his eyes swell up. «I just wanted to make you smile, Siri - you should have told them, you - » his words are cut off as his brother turns to him, giving him a look that shuts him up. 

«It was my fault, Reg» Sirius says, swallowing some of the sobs that threaten to darken his voice. «Reg, it was my fault. You didn't do anything, okay? It was me. I was the one who suggested it, I was the one pressing you into doing it.»

«You didn't - »

Sirius shakes his head. «I'm your older brother, listen to me» his voice is a bit higher and Regulus presses his lips together, trying hard not to cry. «Whatever happens, whoever initiates it, it will always be my fault, is it clear?» his arms sweep Regulus into a hug. «I'm not going to let them do this to you - it's my job to protect you.»

Regulus nods, then shakes his head, then nods again: family should protect each other, Blacks are supposed to stick together and protect each other - that's what all of their ancestors say. Defending his own brother is Regulus' job too - sometimes he wishes to be as brave as Sirius, so that he can stand up to their parents and keep him safe too. 

---

«Try not to get in trouble» Regulus says, watching as Sirius observes his new wand. «Cissy will be there for two more years, so you could look to her and - »

«I won't spend time with Narcissa, she's always with Malfoy» Sirius replies, frowning. 

«He will graduate this year, so - »

«- I don't even know if I will be sorted in Slytherin.»

Regulus eyes widen as he hears his words - his face as white as Sirius' bedsheets. «Don't say something like this. You are a Black and you will get sorted in Slytherin just like everyone else.»

Sirius shakes his head and looks at him in defiance. «Look, I didn't want to tell you, but I'm pretty sure I will be in Gryffindor, Reg.»

The ten year old can feel his own body go cold at the thought. «No,» he says, breathless. «No, Sirius. No. You can't be in Gryffindor - Mother will kill you if you are» he stutters, looking at his brother in fear. 

Sirius lets his wand fall on the mattress and reaches out to give him a one-armed hug. «Reggie,» he says, mouth pressed against his brother's hair. «Mother will not kill me,» his voice is steady, but Regulus can read the note of uncertainty in it. «She will probably try to send me off to Durmstrang, but she won't kill the Black Heir» and that - that is the only thing that makes their parents bear Sirius' rebel attitude. 

«She will punish you nevertheless.»

«It’s nothing that I haven't already endured, isn't it?»

Regulus bites his bottom lip, shaking his head. «Please, Siri, please. Try to get into Slytherin, please.»

«I don't want to be in Slytherin, Reg.» 

«You have to - »

«No!» Regulus falls on his back as Sirius takes back his wand and stands up. «You can ask me anything, Reg, anything - but I won't give up on trying not to be like them, I won't stop wanting to be my own person» Regulus watches as Sirius keeps on rambling. «I will endure everything they'll do, but I won't bend. I'll be what I want to be.»

This is the moment, Regulus realises, that changes everything.

This is the moment in which Regulus gets a look into their family's future.  

--

On September 1st 1971, Sirius is sorted into Gryffindor. 

Father and Mother are furious and Regulus decides to do what Sirius will never do. 

He gives up and bends. 

--

Sirius' room is red and gold: everything in it screams Gryffindor, Muggle-lover, Blood traitor - Regulus can feel his stomach churn at the sight of it. Sirius has now friends, people who are everything Regulus will never be. People who fight with Regulus' housemates, who sometimes prank him too - laughing at him. 

Sirius doesn't spend that much time with him anymore: in the summer, he makes sure to attend enough family functions so that their parents won't complain, then he goes to the Potters' as soon as he can, leaving Regulus behind. 

Before going to Hogwarts, Regulus has never imagined this would happen: he and Sirius have made different choices (the most important being rebelling against surviving), but he has hoped Sirius wouldn’t treat him like that. Speaking with him is impossible now: they fight every time they are alone in the same place - sometimes they fight even when they’re in the castle grounds, surrounded by students, with James Potter’s arm wrapped around Sirius’ shoulders and Remus Lupin’s hand restraining his older brother’s wand hand. Then, when they try to make amends,  they do it at the wrong times, always getting on the other’s nerves as a result.

Regulus doesn’t know how it feels to laugh with Sirius anymore.

He closes his eyes as he hears a shout coming from downstairs: Sirius is fighting again with their parents - they must have talked to Sirius about their plans for him. 

«Are you bloody mad, you crazy bitch?» Sirius is yelling as he climbs up the stairs. «I'm not going to marry Lucretia Goyle or Penelope Crabbe - and I'm not going to marry Druella's niece!» Regulus has the time to return into his bedroom before Sirius and their parents come into sight. «I'm not going to take part of any more inbreeding, fucking - »

Regulus closes the door as he sees his father gripping Sirius' wrist, making him turn towards them.

He sits on the floor as his brother's screams echo in the hallway, at the same time as their mother is yelling (You will do what I say, you filthy scum. Mudblood lover, shame of the house of my fathers, staining my blood with your putrid mouth) and their father is probably standing there, in his quiet support to their mother's actions. 

«Walburga» Father says making the screaming stop and Mother shut up. «Tomorrow, you will come to the Rosiers with me and your mother and you will behave as you are expected to do. I won't excuse your eccentricities anymore - is it clear?»

Regulus doesn’t need to look to know what kind of face Sirius is making: it's the one they learnt together, to mask their feelings - look into the distance until you lose the focus, keep every muscle of your face relaxed, feigning indifference to what is happening. Keep it up until they're out of sight and earshot: they will think it implies assent and will go away. 

It takes a minute before Regulus can hear their mother's heels and their father's shoes climb down the stairs, and thirty seconds for him to decide to see how Sirius is doing. 

«Sirius, how - »

His breath hitches while he takes in his brother's figure: there is a cut on his right cheek, and a purple stain on his left temple. What worries Regulus the most is that Sirius is shaking: his entire body trembles as the sixteen years old paces around his own room. 

«I have to go away» Sirius says, then opens his school trunk and begins to take as much clothes as he can from the closet. «I have to go away, I have to go away» he repeats and his voice is shaking too. 

«Sirius - »

«James,» the name strikes a pang of childish jealousy across Regulus' heart. «I need to go to James - they will take me in while I search for a place to stay.»

«Sirius - »

«They will kill me if I wait until I'm of age to get out of this fucking house» his breathing is laboured. «It was the longest she has crucio-ed me - she will kill me if I don't go away»

«Siri»

The nickname seems to do the trick: Sirius stills his frenetic movements and looks up, right into his eyes. He is still shaking, but his gaze is more focused than a second ago. 

«You're running away from home» it's a statement, not even a question. 

«I have to, Reg» Sirius' voice is hoarse. «Do you understand me? I have to.»

I'm your older brother - it's my job to protect you - Regulus' mind offers the worst memory at the worst time. 

«You'll be fine, Reggie, don't worry - you're their perfect pureblood son» his voice is mocking as he closes the trunk. «Just - don't let them talk you into anything you don't want to do» Regulus knows Sirius is talking about Bellatrix' and Lucius' new friends. «We'll see each other at Hogwarts» if he is trying to reassure him, it doesn't work. 

Don't go, don't leave me alone. 

I know we don't speak that much anymore, but please - please, Siri. 

Sirius brushes past him, dragging his trunk behind him. 

Please, Sirius, don't forget me here. 

--

Two days after that, the Potters' owl brings them a letter. Signed by Euphemia and Fleamont Potter, the letter contains a list of Sirius' items the Blacks are supposed to send them and an implied threat to bring a lawsuit against them for child abuse if they don't comply. 

Mother forbids Regulus to speak to his brother ever again. 

Regulus, now alone for real, bends. 

 ---

 Regulus is dead. 

That's all Sirius hears as the Order meeting goes on - his ears are ringing, his blood pumps furiously in his veins. He tries to listen to Frank Longbottom's report, but his mind doesn't seem to want to do it. So, he stares at a point in front of him until he loses focus and relaxes his face. 

Regulus is dead.

You're running away from home

«Padfoot, how are you?»

Regulus is dead. 

Please, Siri, please. Try to get into Slytherin, please.

«Talk to me, Sirius, please.»

Regulus is dead. 

«James, I think something's wrong with Sirius.»

Regulus is dead. 

I just wanted to make you smile, Siri.

«Sirius, love, will you talk to us?»

Regulus is dead. 

Do it again, Siri!

«Pads, I'm getting worried. Please, say something.»

Regulus is dead. 

«Siri»

Sirius' gaze begins to focus again, taking in first Remus' worried face, then James', and at last Lily's. He swallows, he feels dry and he may have a furry tongue. 

«Is the meeting ended?» he asks, and Lily nods. 

«You were out for most of it» Remus says in a kind voice. «We were worried.»

Sirius lets an easy smile stretch his lips as he shrugs - there are only the four of them in the room. «Lack of sleep - I’m not sleeping well» he knows James and Remus can see past his poor attempt to hide what he actually feels, but he can’t help it. «I’m sure I’ll be feeling better tomorrow.»

James hugs him, carding one of his hands in Sirius’ hair while the other caresses his back. «You can talk to me» he whispers carefully. «Do you know it?»

Sirius nods and feels his eyes burn with tears. He closes his eyes and keeps his eyelid shut, as Lily joins the hug. It’s worse, he thinks, it’s  way worse with his eyes closed. Sirius can see Regulus’ lost face as he runs away from home, he can still hear the pleadings to stay with him hidden in his gaze - he has felt a lot of things about his little brother in the years, most of all, right now, he feels guilty.

James’ hold on him becomes stronger and only now Sirius realises he is shaking, his body is trembling and his throat is full of broken sobs. Every tear that falls on his cheeks is unexpected, just like the pain he feels.

Sirius didn’t expect to cry for Regulus’ death - he didn’t expect to feel the loss of him mixed with the pain of having lost his little brother the day he had decided to run away from home. 

Regulus is dead and, as he cries for him in his other brother’s arm,  Sirius knows he can’t ever tell him how sorry he is anymore.

[once-a-turncoat]

Too Much Information - Character Interview

Thanks @curiousartemis for sharing this questionnaire. 

Filled out for the Dragonborn heroine of my Skyrim fanfic: The Bonds of Civility.

► Name ➔  Cecilia Ameliana Curinwe Varo.

► Are you single ➔ No. I'm engaged to be married to Ulfric Stormcloak, the Jarl of Windhelm.

► Are you happy ➔ It really depends on what time of the day you ask me. I've had such a mix of wonderful and terrible experiences lately. I'd say happier than not, though if you come back in a few hours, you might find me sobbing my heart out.

► Are you angry ➔ More and more every day. Being angry at enemies, like the Thalmor, seems appropriate. But I've lately been struggling with anger at my friends, family and allies. Many of my current problems stem from the fact that when I needed to defeat Alduin, *no one* would just help me with that. Not without getting something out of it for themselves.

They had their reasons - they all do - and now my father has *his* reasons for the way he's ignoring my choices. But it still makes me angry.

I don't like feeling that anger. Mostly, I try not to think about it.  

► Are your parents still married ➔ That's an unfortunate way of putting it. My mother died two years ago. But yes, they were married till her death.

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ My maternal grandparents' estate in the Nibenay. Big delapidated manor in the countryside. I lived there with my mother the first five years of my life.

► Hair Color ➔ Dark brown. The Nords call it black sometimes.

► Eye Color ➔ Pale blue. Just like my mother and grandmother. My grandmother was from Haafingar, and that's the only trace of Nord you'll see in me.

► Birthday ➔ 19 Sun's Dusk.

► Mood ➔ Even-tempered, with a very sunny disposition. Usually. Quietly sarcastic and judgmental.

► Gender ➔ Female

► Summer or winter ➔ Summer. I grew up in warm places. And then the gods stick me in Skyrim. I could cry sometimes.

► Morning or afternoon ➔ Morning. I'm at my freshest then, ready to tackle the day.

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ . . . I don't know.

► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ I believe in it. My father fell in love at first sight with my mother. But no, it's not happened to me.

► Who ended your last relationship ➔ I've never been in a romantic relationship, really. There have been men I've flirted with. Nothing serious.

► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ I hope not! I suppose you're asking about romance. In which case, Regulus Umbranox is going to be fine.

I do worry I've broken my father's heart, though.

► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ No. I think I've proved that lately.

► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ Yes. I hugged Jarl Ulfric when I came back to Windhelm the other night. Surprised me as well as him.

► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ A few. I was very unapproachable back in Cyrodiil. A combination of my family's fame, my father's over-protectiveness, and my disinterest kept admirers at a distance. I've got some pretty strange anonymous love-notes over the years.

There's also my childhood friend, Regulus Umbranox, who is now the Count of Anvil. He *thinks* he's a secret admirer. Regulus is a good friend, so it was very annoying when he started mooning over me. We were about fifteen then. And he kept it up till I left Anvil last year. But he never actually said anything to me. Just to his parents and mine. [rolls eyes] I was never interested in him, but that approach made me very uninterested.

Skyrim is better when it comes to this. People tell me outright that they're in love with me (well, they're in love with the legend of the Dragonborn), and I politely send them on their way. No hard feelings or dancing around the subject forever.

► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ I think I may be doing just that right now. The closer I get to Jarl Ulfric, the more I share his pain.

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ Love. I'm not very hot-blooded. It's not that I hate the idea of passion or haven't experienced any physical attraction. It's just - I've never desperately wanted anyone like that.

► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ Lemonade. In Anvil, there were lemon trees in our back garden. Lemons of course are not widely available in Skyrim. Maybe I can import some.

► Cats or Dogs ➔ Cats. They don't expect very much of you and can look after themselves. I appreciate that.

► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ I would have said a few best friends, but ever since I came to Skyrim, I've been accumulating all sorts of interesting acquaintances. It's a bit overwhelming, but at least half of them are lovely people I want to know better.

► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔  I was going to say romantic night in, then I remembered that party in Dragonsreach after I defeated Alduin. That was the best night of my life. Oh, you mean with a lover? Definitely, romantic night in, then. Get them alone.

► Day or night ➔ Day. You can get more done in the day. Night in the wilderness can be terrifying.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ Out of the College of Winterhold. By an Imperial Legate who is much too good at his job. Fortunately, Legate Fasendil decided to let me go.

On a less serious note, my friend Larissa Umbranox found a secret way out of Anvil Castle when we were kids. So, sometimes when I'd go over to the Castle to play, we'd sneak out together: Larissa, Regulus, and I, and play along the shoreline. We were never supposed to be there on our own; we'd been warned all about kidnappers and pirates and vengeful elves. We had lots of fun until Regulus and Larissa's younger sister, Oriana, told on us.

► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ Yes. I mean, who hasn't? Down the stairs, that is. Maybe I'll fall up the stairs when I'm an addled old mage.

► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ Yes. Very recently. Who? Well . . . you know.

► Wanted to disappear ➔ All the time! Not permanently. I'd come back. I just need to rest and refresh. I can't disappear, though. I have to keep on going.

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ Smile. Eyes come alive when someone smiles.

► Shorter or Taller ➔ It's intimidating how tall these Nords are, Jarl Ulfric included. I won't complain, but if I had my way, I'd even up our heights a bit.

► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ Are those opposites? Oh, you're asking what first sparks my interest. Intelligence, then.

► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ Relationship. Two things I've always wanted in a lover: Friendship and a shared wish to raise children together. 

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ Unfortunately, no. Not at the moment. My father is an Imperial loyalist and he disapproves of my choices. My grandmother and uncle probably would too if I talked to them.

►Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ I might now! But it was messed up by none other than Akatosh, apparently. So it might be ungrateful to call it that. Before discovering I was Dragonborn, my life was very ordinary and placid.

► Have you ever run away from home ➔ No.

► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ No.

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ Hate's a strong word, but there are people I'm friendly with who really rub me the wrong way. I just grin and bear it and never say it out loud. People who are getting on my nerves lately: Njada Stonearm, Viola Giordano, and Steward Jorleif.

► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ No. When you're in my position, you have to be friendly to so many people, and hope that they'll come through for you. But some of them are fairweather friends, no doubt of that.

► Who is your best friend ➔ My housecarl Lydia.

► Who knows everything about you ➔ Lydia. An exaggeration, but what she doesn't know, she's busy finding out. She's probably the only person who'd know all my answers here.

[bookishhufflepunk]

That's Not How Promise Rings Work | Young!Regulus Black x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader is a muggleborn and Reg asks for her help, leading to unintentional love and angst.

Warnings: cursing, death, angst, possibly unedited.

Word Count: uh… roughly twenty pages? Note that I'm writing these on, uh *cough* Notes on my iPod.

A/n: I'm sorry.

Being a muggle born Slytherin is not easy, and only found that out after I was sorted. So… it's just as fun as it sounds to have half of Slytherin completely hate you—the other half doesn't give a fuck because they're not pureblood maniacs, but few are actually muggle borns.

They don't hate me outside of the common room where other houses can see because it makes Slytherin look weaker or some shit. So I spend as much time as I can in the library helping first and second years with homework. Part of that is trying to make Slytherin house look less evil, but most of it is that those kids need help.

"Hey, (y/l/n)," Regulus Black greeted as I walked into the almost empty common room. He was the only one there.

"What do you want?" I asked, not even stopping to look at him and heading towards the girls' dorms.

"I need your help," he said. He's a death eater, what the hell could he possibly need my help for other than planning my murder?

I turned around on the steps to my dorm and bent down so I could see under the doorway. He was sitting on the couch, looking at me over his shoulder and fiddling with something in his hand. His black hair wasn't perfectly brushed like it usually was and was messed up from his hand being ran through it many times. He does that when he's stressed, I noticed almost two years back when he became a death eater—I sent tea and cinnamon rolls up to his room, he never knew it was me; I may not be Voldy's biggest fan, but Regulus Black stopped eating all together, until I started sending him cinnamon rolls.

"With what?" I asked from the safety of the stairway.

"Come'er," he said, waving me over.

"I feel much safer here," I said, shaking my head.

"I won't hurt you," he said.

"It doesn't need to be painful to die," I said.

"I won't harm you," he corrected. There was something like desperation in his voice. I continued staring at him with a blank expression. "I promise."

He's a man of his word. I walked down and sat on the opposite side of the couch, dropping my school bag next to it and pulling my legs to my chest, facing him.

"You're an intelligent person, right?" He asked.

"There are better minds, but I suppose I get good enough grades," I said. "If it's intelligence you're looking for, Ravenclaw might be the better place to look."

"I'd rather work with a Slytherin," he said. Work? He continued to fiddle with whatever was in his hands.

"What's this about?" I asked.

He moved so he was right next to me. I could smell his minty breathe. His gray eyes looked so tired. His skin was deathly pale, but then again, it always is.

"I need you to promise you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you," he said. He held up a simple silver ring, it was what he had been fiddling with. A promise ring. "It's a muggle thing called a promise ring."

"Yeah, I know," I said, not touching the ring. "But they're for relationships."

"Oh…" he said, cheeks turning red with blush. He put the ring in his pocket, "never mind with the ring then, I was just trying do something muggle-ish to gain your trust. But anyway… I really do need you to promise me that you won't tell anyone."

I thought it over for a moment; what's the worst thing that will happen? Mmm, probably someone ending up with a broken nose and I made somewhat of a fool of myself.

"Okay, I swear on my mother's grave I won't tell anyone," I said.

He smiled, something he rarely does. He took my hand and led me out of the common room, I followed him so he didn't drag me by my hand. He led me in an empty class room in a tower, out of the way, no one would just wander into this room.

"Okay, so I believe the Dark Lord has made something called a horcruxes—it's a piece of his soul put in an object for safekeeping. It makes him kind of immortal," he said pacing around. Shit, this is deep. "I want to destroy it and I would like your help."

"You realize what you're saying, right?" I asked. He nodded. I grabbed his left arm and rolled up his sleeve, relieving his Dark Mark. "You are rebelling again Voldy himself."

"Yes," he said. "I just wanted to please my parents; I don't want to kill people, I don't want be a death eater." "Congratulations," I smiled. "Now what do you know about horcruxes?" "Not much yet, that's why I want your help, you're HeadGirl, you can get into the restricted zone in the library," he said. "That and you're a good person, someone I envy."

I just nodded and paced a bit, trying to think of a book that would have the information I needed. I took my wand out of my rob and turned an old chair sitting on top of a desk into a record player. I turned on music. I listen to music in the library and it jogs my memory. I took some paper and a quill out of the desk and wrote book titles so I remembered them when I went looking.

"Where would he put it?" I asked as I wrote.

"What?" He asked.

"Well, if you can choose the object, why not make it a pebble and throw it in the ocean?" I asked, looking up. "What would Voldy do?"

"He's too grand to put his soul in a pebble," he said. "I know where he put it, I just need to know what it is."

We looked through the library for mouths together, but barely found anything. No one really knew we were friends, to them, we were just people with insomnia or some shit, glared and drank a lot off coffee all of a sudden.

"Lest day of Hogwarts," he said as we walked around the lake. "I can't believe I'm leaving after seven years. At least you get to go on to healing school."

"Says who?" I asked. I had applied for healing schools and been accepted, but then I rejected them.

"I saw you with the letters from the schools," he said.

"Coulda been rejection letters," I said. He didn't know I rejected them.

"No way, you've worked as a nurse in the hospital wing for three years, Madam Pomfrey would've given you a good word," he said, nudging me with his elbow.

"Yeah, you're right, but I rejected them," I said. "I sent those applications a while ago, I've changed my mind about life."

"Then what're you gonna be?" He asked. "The minister? An auror? A Quidditch star?"

"A dead girl most likely," I said. "I'm going with you."

"What?" He asked, stopping and staring at me.

I turned around and faced him. "You can't seriously think I'd let you go by yourself, do you?" I asked.

He'd made a plan to get the horcruxe after he got home, and he made it after I sent my application letters. It was a death trap.

"I told you before, you're not going to give your life for this," he said.

"We may not actually die," I said. "And your words were 'I'm not asking you to give your life,' as in I can if that's what I choose, it's not your choice."

"I forbid it," he said.

"You have no power over me," I said, standing my ground.

"This is my mission," he said. "You're not coming."

"Remember where you'd be if I didn't help you," I said. "I've helped so far, I'm seeing it through."

"You could die!" He yelled.

"And you're planning on dying, tell me how this is different!" I yelled.

"I love you, (y/n) (y/m/n) (y/l/n)!" He yelled angrily.

"Well I love you too, Regulus Arcturus Black!" I yelled back. "Your point is invalid!"

"I…! What did you just say?" He asked, anger melting.

"I said I love you," I said much quieter than I had before. He stared at me in disbelief. I covered for myself, "but you're to busy with your head up your arse to notice such things."

I walked past him, back to the castle. I had some packing to do. I walked to the dungeon. Professor Slughorn stopped me before I could get to the common room.

"Miss (y/l/n), I'm throwing a farewell party-" he looked up from his notes and saw I was crying, something I haven't done since my mum died. "My girl, what's wrong?"

"Black was being an obvious arsehole," I said, wiping tears off my cheeks, and forcing a smile. "I'm fine though. As you were saying?"

"Do I need to talk to mister Black about this?" He asked. He was one of my favorite professors because of stuff like that, though I didn't much enjoy being in the Slug-Club.

"No, it's not like when we had the hex fight and I broke his nose," I said with a little laugh. "He just needs to think about it, we'll be fine."

"You haven't broken his nose recently, have you?" He asked.

"No, we got over our problems, well, most of them," I said. "Anyway, I've got to go pack so I can attend that party of yours."

He nodded and I went to the dorms. I didn't want to go to the party, but I'd rather go than talk to Slughorn about Reg and I. I worked on packing and packed away all my Quidditch stuff. Reg had won the place as seeker, so I got to be a chaser. I made a little time capsule and hid it on the under side of the mattress—a record of Slytherins not being evil. I put my unfinished journal in it, I had stopped writing in it when Reg asked for my help. Let the reader imagine the ending to my story. I put my black dress on the bed so I could wear it tonight.

I read until seven thirty. I took a shower and dried my hair. I put on the backless black dress. It had half sleeves that tied together on the top. It stopped at my knees. This is my favorite dress because it's comfortable unlike every other dress I own. I put on black slippers and tied my hair up in a messy bun and held it up with my wand. I put on some makeup to hide any evidence of crying.

I walked down to Slughorn's classroom. Music was playing and every seventh year in the Slug-Club was there. I said hello to Slughorn before standing in my space by the curtains, so I could hide if I wanted—it's always where I stand during these parties.

"Are you okay?" Reg asked behind me. I would recognize that voice anywhere, I've listened to him try to sing while I played guitar and give Quidditch orders and just plain out talk, I know his voice and can read it like a book.

"Still breathing, so I'm fine," I said without looking at him. We haven't been seen together yet, only at Quidditch practice and games, and when we dueled in the common room—I dueled with a lot of people in the common room. "How're you?"

"Alive at the moment like you," he said, then dropping a coin or something and picking it up.

"That's nice," I said.

I felt him take my left hand from behind and put something on my ring finger. He let go of my hand and I looked at it. The promise ring that he had when he asked for my help was on my finger now.

"Promise to go to healing school and live out your dream," he said. "Sorry if my death hurts you."

"First off, that's not how these rings work, and second, I'm still going with you," I said.

"If I can't have you, I will protect you," he said.

"I never said we can't be together," I said.

"But everyone else did," he said, sounding kind of pained.

I took the ring off my finger and held it behind me for him to take. He took my hand and closed my fingers around the ring.

"There's no one I'd rather have it," he said, with defiant pain.

"I've got to go, I'll see you later," I said. He let go of my hand.

I walked of the room for probably the last time. I held the ring in my hand as I walked. I went to the great hall where everyone else was and walked straight up to the professors' table. I stood right in front of Dumbledore.

"I need you to take Regulus Black's wand away," I said. I cannot lose him, he's the first person I've been able to have an emotional attachment to since my mum died and I will kill him if he dies.

"That is a very serious request, why?" He asked.

"To save him," I said. I'll keep my promise but I'll save him.

"From what?" McGonagall asked.

"From death, obviously," I said. "If you take his wand he can't get himself killed."

"We need real reason," she said.

"Damn you! Your job is to protect the students and you are going to let him die!" I yelled. "I hate you!"

"When is he to die?" Dumbledore asked.

"Two weeks or so," I said, waving my hand dismissively.

"He won't be a student by then," he said. "I am sorry, but we cannot meddle with that."

"Fine then!" I yelled, turning around and walking off.

I left the great hall and went back to the common room. I laid on the common room couch and waited for Reg to get back. I put the ring on my finger then took it off over and over again. The common room door opened and Reg walked in.

"Hey, Slughorn wants you in the picture," he said, looking down at me on the couch.

"Would he be terribly mad if you said I was asleep?" I asked but got up anyway because this is for Slughorn.

We walked back to the class room and stood in the back of the group of seventh years. There was a flash of the camera and everyone waved and smiled. Regulus on the other hand kissed me. It wasn't a big kiss, just a long peck on the lips. We were behind a lot of people, so I guess he wasn't worried about it showing up in the picture.

"I don't want you to hate me," he said quietly. I raised my eyebrows at him; why'd he think I was angry? "You seemed kind of grumpy."

"I don't hate you," I said, taking his hand in mine. He looked at my hand and smiled—I was wearing the ring.

We walked away after that, acting like we didn't kiss. I said a proper goodnight to Slughorn.

"Now what's this?" He asked as I shook his hand. "Are you engaged?"

"Ah… no, it's a muggle thing and the ring just fit my ring finger best," I said, blushing at the thought of being engaged. "I'm a bit too young for marriage and all that."

"So has all been worked out with mister Black?" He asked. "I saw you two kiss in the class photo."

I turned absolutely red. I never blush, but that's only because I have no reason to, but now my teach is questioning me about my love life.

"Yes, all's well," I said.

The next morning a ate breakfast and went to the train station. Regulus and I hadn't talked since last nigh, I'm hoping he's okay, but who knows at this point? I sat in an empty compartment and put on headphones. I read.

"Mind if I sit?" Reg asked at the door, in a hoodie and jeans—the most causal thing he's ever worn.

"As long as no death eaters crash the party," I said, taking my headphones off.

He smiled and walked in, closing the door behind him. He sat down and laid his head on my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Is this what it feels like to be a normal teenager?" He asked.

"Define normal," I said.

"Muggle," he said with a goofy smile that made me small. "Muggle teens don't have to deal with being death eaters and being called evil because their house."

"What's gotten into you?" I asked though I was laughing a bit.

"Love," he sang. He sat up with that goofy smile still on his lips. "I love you…"—his smile started fading—"(y/n), I want to protect you, which is why I want you to stay behind, not because I'm underestimating you."

"You don't always get what you want," I said.

"Fine," he sighed and laid his head back on my lap. I smiled down at him and continued reading. "You're such a Hufflepuff."

"I broke your nose twice and other people's countless times," I said, ruffling his silky hair. "Not mention I was a beast on the Quidditch field."

He groaned, his face pinching. "Don't talk about Hogwarts in the past tense yet," he said, holding his abdomen like it physically pained him.

I kissed his forehead. "Best seven years of my life," I said. "Even if half my roommates hated me."

We were silent for a while, until he spoke up. "So my parents will be gone for a week," he said.

"Where is this conversation going?" I asked, closing my book.

He shrugged and played with my hair. "I won't need to sneak around for a week," he said.

"You could stay with my family if you don't mind my five siblings," I said. "Unless you want to stay in your creepy house."

"How do you know it's creepy?" He asked. "Not that you're wrong."

"I guessed it was something like Slytherin common room with all its weird lighting and un-coziness," I said as I opened my book again.

"So you have five siblings?" He asked.

"Yeah, Coll, he's nineteen, Toby and Quinn, they're sixteen, Robby, she's fifteen, Ben as in Benjamin, he's… six I think," I said.

"That's a large age jump," he said.

"He's adopted," I explained.

"Would they mind me staying?" He asked.

"Toby, Coll and Ben might give you the intimidating brother speech and my dad might glare a bit but they'll be fine with it," I said.

"intimidating brother speech?" He asked, giggling. Giggling!

"Yes, they'll say something along the lines of 'hurt her and you're dead'," I said, running my fingers through his hair. If you twisted the meaning of the sentence, it would mean, if he hurt me, that means he'd be dead, which made my stomach twist.

"Tell me about muggles," he said after awhile. "I would like to hear your voice as much as possible before…"

"Well… they have an infuriating game called Monopoly, and you're laying on the (y/l/n) champion," I said.

"Oh, I once played that with Sirius and his friends, he was supposed to be babysitting me," he smiled, eyes lighting up with joy. He has few good memories with his older brother because they never got along and I guess that was one of them. "I love muggle games, tell me about them."

I had a feeling that he knew very little about muggle games but he found a light subject and wanted me to talk.

"Ever hear of truth or dare?" I asked.

I've never seen it played in the common room, so I doubt he did.

He shook his head. "But it sounds pretty self explanatory," he said.

"It is," I laughed. "You either have to do a dare or tell a truth."

"Truth or dare?" He asked with a challenging tone.

"Truth," I said, putting my book down with my bookmark in it.

"Why did you storm away after you told me you loved me?" He asked.

"Mmm, it's kind of complicated, but most of it was fear," I said. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," he said.

"Why'd you choose me to help?" I asked.

"As I said way back when we first talked; I envy your free will and kindheartedness," he said, frowning. "Sorry for dragging you down, it wasn't fair of me to do that."

"I don't like being high as a balloon if I'm not helping anyone," I said. "Don't you dare apologize."

"You were going to be a healer," he said, putting his hand on my cheek.

"If we kill Voldy, how many people do we save from certain death?" I asked, taking his hand in mine.

"I thought it was my turn?" He asked, trying to change the subject. I let it slide because I didn't want to talk about Voldy either. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," I said, taking a chance.

We played truth and dare for most of the train ride, but eventually he fell asleep and I stayed up so nothing happened.

When we pulled into the station, I put my book away and woke up Reg gently, not really wanting to mess up his peaceful sleep—he's admitted that he had a hard time sleeping "Hmm?" He hummed.

"We're at platform nine and three quarters," I said.

He nodded and stood up. We picked up our trunks and walked off the train. I didn't see dad, so I went to a nearby pay phone, Reg following. I would just apparate home, but I don't want to abandon him if he is here. I called home first.

"Yellow?" Quinn asked.

"Hey, Quinn," I said.

"Dad had car trouble," she answered my unasked question.

"Key, be home in a minute," I said.

With that, she hung up. I stepped out of the phone box. I led Reg to an alleyway where we could apparate. I held his hand a disapparated. I landed on my front porch where Quinn was sitting.

"Who's the boy?" She asked, smiling.

"My…" I looked at him. What the hell are we? I liked it better when we didn't need a name.

"Friend," Regulus said after a moment of thinking.

"He'll be staying with us for a week," I said.

She shrugged and helped us carry our trunks inside. Robby was in the living room watching a movie with Ben; Toby and Coll were in the kitchen; dad was no where to be seen and Quinn disappear. Ben jumped off the couch and tried to tackle me in a hug.

"Hey, Benny," I smiled. "I heard you caused a lot of trouble while I was gone."

"Toby is the one that made the trouble!" He said.

"I was just teasing you," I laughed. He went pale as a ghost, looking over my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder at Reg. He was just standing there awkwardly. "What's up, Ben?"

Ben has the weirdest ability to know stuff about people, even strangers walking down the street. I have a feeling it's magic, but there's no way to know for sure until he's older.

"He works for Voldy," he whispered. Yeah, he says Voldy like me, I don't like calling him You-Know-Who.

"Past tense, buddy, worked for Voldy," I said. "He's a good guy now."

"But he has that tattoo thing," he said, poking at his own left arm.

"He can't get rid of it," I said. "Where's dad?"

"In the garage fixing his car," Coll said, walking out of the kitchen, eating a sandwich.

"'Key," I said. "Show Reg to the guest room and don't kill him, that's my job."

"Robby took the guest room because she and Quinn needed more space," he said.

"Then give him the spar bed in your room," I said.

"Ben's room is bigger," he said.

Ben shook his head rapidly. "I don't want him in my room, he's a… (y/n), what do you call them?" He asked.

"Death eater and he isn't," I said, putting him down because he was getting heavy. "Coll, you're not here half of the time."

"Fine," he said. "You own me a chocolate frog."

"No, I don't," I said, walking to the garage. "All my chocolate frogs are for Benny."

I walked into the garage and dad was frustratedly trying to fix his car which was made mostly of duct tape.

"Y'know, I could fix it with magic," I said.

He looked up, grease smudged on his forehead. He smiled. "How was the trip?" He asked.

"Good," I smiled. "Hung out with my friend."

"So you stopped being so antisocial, then?" He asked.

"Not exactly," I said, shuffling my feet. "You know Regulus Black?"

"Yeah, I got a couple letters saying you broke his nose or you got in a fight, Regulus Black was one of the names," he said. "Isn't he a death eater?"

"No, not anymore," I said, holding a screw driver he handed me. "He—and I—want to…. There's something called a horcruxe and he needs to destroy it, and I'm going with him. What I'm really trying to say is, one day I might not come home, and I need you to keep it together when that happens."

"You said when, not if," he said.

I shrugged. "I just don't want you to ghost or whatever," I said.

"Please outlive me," he said.

"I'll try," I lied. He smile sadly and went back to work. "Anyway… Reg will be staying with us for a week, if you need me, I'll be trading chocolate frog cards."

"I thought you hated him, what happened?" He asked as I left.

I stopped at the door way. "Turns out he was only an arsehole because peer-pressure," I said. "He's quite a nice person once you get through the shell, but I do t regret hexing him before."

"Good, never regret defending yourself," he said.

I shook my head and left. I went back inside. I carried my trunk upstairs, stopping dead in my tracks when I see Ben throwing stuff at Reg as he covered his face with his arms, standing in the doorway of Coll's bedroom.

"Benjamin, stop that," I ordered. He put down a toy truck. "What's up?"

"He said the 'Dark Lord,' which means he's a bad guy!" He exclaimed, pointing at Reg.

"He says that like we say 'Voldy,' just out of habit," I said, blankly, not even questioning how he knew that—he's totally a wizard of some sort. "I want you to stop thinking he's evil."

He sighed and walked back downstairs after picking up his toys. I rubbed my eyes then looked at Reg.

"Sorry about him, he's a mind reader or something, certain stuff sets him off," I said, carrying my trunk to the room I shared with Quinn and Robby but now just Quinn.

"It's okay," he said, following me. "Kids don't like me."

"Mmm, yeah, I'll still talk to him about it," I said, unpacking.

He walked over to Quinn and I's desk where we kept our photos. All but two were muggle pictures. Most of them were Quinn and her friends, Quinn and her girlfriend, a couple were me hanging out with Quinn and her friends. The two wizard pictures were Ben and I after we adopted him—I was trying to cheer him up—and the other was a family picture. I picked up two more pictures from my trunk and put them on the desk, one was the class photo Slughorn took and the other was one of Reg while he was reading out by the lake.

"When did you get this?" He asked, pointing at the one of him.

"A month ago," I said, going back to unpacking.

Toby came in and fell on my bed. "Did you know that Ben is having a fit because of him," he said, pointing at Reg.

"I'll talk to him," I said, walking out.

I walked downstairs to the living room where Ben say cross armed on the armchair. I picked him up from behind and carried him outside. We walked through the peach orchard to the hill on the far side and sat down on top. I ignored all his questions until I sat down.

"What's up, Ben?" I asked. That's how I ask him what he sees or reads or whatever.

"You're gonna die because of him," he said. I pulled him onto my lap and rocked him back and forth. "Why? Why not stay home?"

"Because I've got to think about the world your gonna live in, not my future," I said. "I want you to be safe when you go to Hogwarts."

"I'm going to Hogwarts?" He asked.

"Probably," I said, resting my chin on top of his head.

"I don't want you to go," he said, wrapping his little arms around my neck.

"I know," I said. "But if this works, so many people will be safe, and so many people won't live in fear."

"And if it doesn't work?" He asked.

"We're not going to think about that," I said. We sat there in silence for awhile, the sun was setting. "Why do you hate Regulus?"

"He's gonna take you away from us and you're gonna die," he said, frowning.

"That's my choice, Benjamin," I said, ruffling his hair. "Is that the only reason?"

"Yes," he said quietly.

"Well could you stop? I don't want to watch you two fight all week," I said.

"Yeah," he said.

"I need you to promise me you won't tell anyone what you know," I said, standing up to walk home.

"Okay, I swear I won't tell," he said. I nodded and we walked back hand in hand.

Ben was the neighbors' kid, and our mothers were friends. I was hanging out with mum when we went over to Ben's mum's house. At that point, we weren't friends. Death eaters decided to drop in. Though I was only thirteen, I carried around my wand and fought the death eaters with pathetic spells. Ben's family died and so did mum, but I got Ben out of the house in time and we hid in the orchard. After that, Ben didn't leave my side for a week and wouldn't talk to anyone else.

We walked inside and I went up to my room, where Reg and Toby were talking. Jeez, it's been like an hour. I fell in bed next to Toby and pushed Toby away.

"What does Ben say?" Toby asked, not moving.

"He says you're a frog, get out of my bed," I said.

He sighed and rolled out of bed onto the floor. "Now what does he say?" He asked.

"He's just being an over protective little brother," I lied, covering my face with my pillow. "He'll stop."

"That's good," he said. "Oh, by the way, Coll went out to get us pizza."

"Oh thank Marlin!" I sang. "I didn't feel like cooking."

"what's pizza?" Reg asked.

"You poor deprived child, how can you not know?" Toby asked.

"I'm older than you," Reg said.

"(Y/n), how can you be friends with someone who doesn't know what pizza is?" Toby asked.

I rolled my eyes. Robby walked in. "Yo, (y/n), can I talk to you?" She asked, nodding her head to the hallway.

"If I can take my bed," I said but got up anyway. I walked to her room and laid on her bed. "What do you want?"

"Who the hell is this Regulus Black?" She asked, falling into bed next to me. "My friend," I said.

"Then who gave you the ring?" She asked smirking.

"You might as well get Quinn," I said. I didn't feel like explaining Reg and I's relationship twice.

"She's snogging Meredith on the front porch," she said.

"Well then you're waiting, 'cause I'm only explaining it once," I said.

"Wait here!" She said and scrambled out of the room.

"You're so rude!" I yelled after her, rolling my eyes. I closed my eyes and opened them when she got back, dragging Quinn and Meredith. "Hey, Mery."

"Hey, (y/n)," she said.

Robby closed the door and sat on her desk with a smile. "Okay, now you can explain your love life," she said.

"You know how friends with benefits works?" I asked.

"Yeah, I thought you had better class than that," Quinn said, sitting at at the end of the bed.

"I do," I said, "our relationship is more like relationship minus the benefits."

"So he's your boyfriend but you don't kiss and whatever?" Meredith asked.

"No, we say we're friends," I said. "But we romantically love each other."

"Then why aren't you together?" Robby asked.

"It's complicated, many reasons, but most of it is his family," I said. "They'd kill me."

Meredith didn't know I was being literal because she didn't know about the wizard world. But Robby and Quinn knew and that's what mattered.

"That's so Romeo and Juliet," Meredith said.

"Eh… I guess," I shrugged.

"Pizza!" I heard Coll yell.

"Lovely talk, girls, but food is more important," I said, getting up.

We walked downstairs and sat around the dining room. Coll's girlfriend was there, along with Toby's best friend. Dad sat next to me before Reg could, so Reg awkwardly took the seat next to dad. I shook my head at my dad and started eating.

"So how was school, (y/n)?" Coll's girlfriend—Allis—asked.

"Good," I said, before taking a bite of pizza. "I missed t-shirts and sunlight though."

Everyone except Toby's friend, Allis, and Meredith cracked up laughing, even Reg. I had explained to my family awhile ago that my dorms are freezing and there wasn't sunlight under the black lake.

"What's so funny?" Toby's friend—Zack—asked.

"Nothing," Toby said after he stopped laughing.

This was just a reminder, I'm doing this for the people who laugh, and have lives, and loves. I just hope Toby is gay so he can make Zack's day one day.

The week flow by, and Reg and I acted like muggle teens the whole week, going to the movies and eating out. But then he went home and we continued planning. Kreacher constantly insulted me and I ignored it all like he ignored Regulus' requests to stop.

I spent my time at home when I should be sleeping, writing a letter to Regulus, but it never looked right, so I patched the letters together.

I pretended everything was okay but I went on walks with Ben through the orchard, talking to him about it. Coll sensed something was wrong but I brushed it off as having a friend whose family hated me.

I sat with Ben on the hill, watching the sun rise in perfect silence. He was crying in my arms.

"I better be going, buddy," I said quietly, holding him tightly.

"Please don't," he sniffled.

"I'm sorry, Benjamin," I said, putting him down and standing up. "I love you, always remember that."

"I love you too," he said.

I smiled and disapparated. I landed in the foyer of Reg's house. Reg and Kreacher were standing in the hallway, Reg was putting on her cloak. I put my wand away and rubbed my right eye.

"Hey, Kreacher, could you show me to the bathroom; I think there's something in my eye," I said.

He grumbled and led me upstairs. He pointed to a door. I didn't go in.

"Kreacher, there's nothing in my eye," I said quietly. I held out the letter, "give this to Regulus when you guys get back, and make sure he gets back safe."

He stared at me then took my letter. I guess I earned his trust by putting Reg's safety before myself. I rubbed my face then we went back downstairs where Regulus was ready.

"You can always back out," he said, worry in his voice.

"No way," I said.

"Okay, take us to the cave, Kreacher," he said, taking my hand.

Kreacher had put the letter who knows where. He took Regulus' other hand and we disapparated. We landed on rocks and had to swim some to get to the cave. We didn't even bother drying off.

"Now you have to put blood on the wall," Kreacher said.

I took the knife from Reg and cut open the palm of my hand before he could protest. I pressed my hand to the salty wall and refused to wince at the salt in the wound and let my blood drip down the wall.

"You should've let me," Reg said behind me.

"Such a gentleman," I said.

A door way reviled itself and we went through to a dark chamber. In the light of my wand, there was murky greenish water and The light didn't reach the other side.

"Don't touch the water," Kreacher warned as he led the way over the small, crumbling path.

"Here," Reg said behind me, handing me a long piece of white cloth.

I wrapped it around my hand as we walked. Kreacher stopped at a small dock with a small boat. We climbed in and it was pulled by some magic force across the water.

We reached a little island and climbed up it. On top was a pool of clear potion—that's what Kreather told us. Reg went to take the shell bowl but I stopped him before he could get very far.

"What's your worst memory?" I asked. Before he could respond, I continued, "it's probably worse than mine, let me do this."

"But you cut your hand to get us in," he said.

"It was barely a scratch," I said.

"(Y/n), let me do this," he said.

"I'm not going to watch you suffer," I said. "Hand me the bowl."

He sighed and handed it over, looking down. This might be the last time I get a chance to say this.

"I love you, Regulus Arcturus Black," I said.

He looked up. "I love you too, (y/n) (y/m/n) (y/l/n)," he said.

I pecked him on the lips before scooping up the first bowl of potion to my lips and downed it. It tasted fowl and hurt my insides. Then the memories started, mum dying, leaving Ben to go back to school, everything painful to the heart looped in my head. And I wanted it to stop, I begged for it to stop. But someone was forcing the evil potion down my throat. Eventually, after hours and hours of pain, it all numbed into a dry throat and a headache. My vision was blurry, but I saw Kreacher switching the locket and Reg by my side.

"I'm so sorry, love," he said.

I pushed myself to sit up. I needed water.

"Lay back down," he said.

"I need water," I choked out, trying to stand up.

"I'll get up some," he said. He tried to get water magically, but it wasn't working.

I was light headed and tried to walk, but stumbled and fell down the sharp island. I felt water around me and my head cleared. Shit.

I felt claws grabbing at me and I took out my wand and fended them off. I tried to swim back to the island but I was being pulled away. I could barely keep my head above the water.

I heard something and saw Regulus reaching out for me, wand in his other hand. He got pulled in by a skeleton hand. I kicked and shoot spells and made my way to him. He lost his wand in the chaos and went under. I went under and kept fighting.

I managed to push him back to the island where Kreather pulled him up. But not in time to help me. I was so tired from fighting in the water, my flesh was being pulled off.

I was too far away, but I fought anyway. Before I was pulled under again, I made eye contact with Kreather and threw my wand at Regulus.

Then I went under, claws pulling my flesh off my bones. My lunges felt like they were going to explode. I was being pulled into unconsciousness, but I managed one last thought.

I saved Regulus, and so I smiled….

-Regulus' POV-

She threw her wand and went under. I was on my hands and knees sobbing. Her wand landed at my hands and I picked it up right before Kreacher disapparated. We landed in my bedroom and I continued sobbing.

Kreacher handed me a letter. "Kreacher will tell Mistress Black you will not be joining her for breakfast," he said.

"Wait, don't," I said. He obeyed. I opened the letter. It was a small letter, in (y/n)'s handwriting. What?

Regulus, my love,

If you're reading this, it means I'm dead, or it's a very depressing letter that you should stop reading. I don't want you to blame yourself for my death, I gave it for you and I won't regret it.

There's a couple things I want you to do; first, stay out of deadly trouble; second, tell my family I'm dead, I'd rather they not find out in a letter, and I've already warned my father I might die; third… find Sirius… and ask his help.

He'll help you, I know that, because he loves you, you just have to ask for his help. If you want to continue rebelling against Voldy, you have to have someone on your side, Sirius would be a good person for that to be. Don't let my death drag you down because I wanted you to live.

I love you.

-(Y/n) (y/l/n).

I reread the small letter over and over, tears from my eyes. I looked up at Kreacher.

"I'm leaving, Kreacher," I said. "Best of luck, my friend."

I magically packed my trunk… with (y/n)'s wand… and disapparated. I landed on the pouch of a mansion that I went to with Sirius one time and where he told me when he ran away I could find him in case I wanted to join him. The Potters'.

I knocked and waited, wiping tears off my face. First I'll find Sirius, then I'll tell (y/n)'s family.

I impatiently fiddle with my hands, though it's only been five seconds. The door opens and there was the woman I saw so many years ago.

"Regulus Black?" She asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Do you know where I might find Sirius?"

"Yes," she said, pulling me inside. "I'll call him over."

I nodded, wiping new tears off my face. She attacked me with a towel and to that point, I hadn't realized I was still soaking wet from trying to save (y/n) in the water.

"What happen to you?" She asked.

"(Y/n) got killed," I said like she'd understand.

"Poor darling," she said, wrapping the towel around my shoulder.

She led me to the kitchen and made me some tea before taking the muggle-phone off the wall and calling someone assumed to be Sirius.

"Hello, Sirius," she said, glancing at me as I stared at my tea. "Regulus is here and would like to talk to you… no, I don't believe he is."

She put the phone back on the wall and made breakfast. Someone came in through the front door and Sirius walked in. Mrs. Potter put two plates of food and walked away with a third and forth.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked as I stared at my food.

"(Y/n), my… friend, died saving me," I said, having trouble finding a wood to describe what we were.

"You hesitated," he said.

"I love her," I said.

He got up and pulled me into a hug. I started crying again. What the hell am I going to do without her?

"She was perfect," I found myself say. "She had a goal to make Slytherin less evil, and she helped me so much though the last year. And- and sh- she gave her life for me—she planned on it!"

"She sounds nice," he said, rocking me back and forth like he would when I very little and our parents were fighting, I'd have anxiety attacks.

"She even wrote me a letter for Kreacher to give me after she died," I said, letting the tears fall. "How could she die, for me?"

"Why'd she die?" He asked after a while.

I spilled everything, everything about the horcruxe, everything she did to help me, everything we did, everything I had planned on doing, everything.

We spent most of the day at the Potters', but then I told Sirius I had to go to (y/n)'s house to break the news to them, Sirius went with me.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Pure Blood 27 (Sirius Black x F!Oc)

A/N: Do we have a Written in the stars crossover??? idk

I don't remember if I had already cast an actor for Alphard, but I decided that Bill Hader is the one.

Also: Sorry if someone doesn't get the notification, sometimes tumblr acts in strange ways :c but stay tuned on the weekends, thanks.

Words: 4,352

Masterlist:

Chapter 26 / Chapter 28

I walk down the hall of my house until I reach the fireplace in the living room, my parents are already waiting for me. My mother adjusts a strand of my loose hair and looks me up and down, then nods in approval.

I sigh and take one last look at my short-sleeved green dress, with a different-hued ribbon under my chest and the rest of it loose almost reaching the floor. My father sees us and takes our hands, we leave to where the big event will be. I feel a knot in my stomach as we apparate just outside the front door, but I compose myself quickly.

"I don't want any stupid games, Persephone," orders Dad in a deep voice, glancing at me. I just nod, while trying to contain the shaking in my hands and legs.

My mother knocks on the door and Abraxas Malfoy opens it. Both men greet each other with a handshake, and then the blond kisses my mother's cheek.

"Persephone, I've heard a lot about you," He says raising an eyebrow.

"Good evening, Mr. Malfoy," I reply politely. He nods.

"Your daughter Juno is here already, I must say, Ares, she reminds me a lot of you."

I shiver at the comment. My older sister did a lot of planning to arrive with the family of one of her friends. I don't know the details, Kles –our house elf– could only tell me the basics. I guess that plan was the best for everyone.

Abraxas lets us in and the next hour is utterly overwhelming, among so many presentations and congratulations on the wedding. There are a lot of people I don't remember and haven't even met before, but they’re basically the same: giggling falsely, earning points for us to invite them to the wedding, compliments, boring jokes, even people my age behaved that way. At some point in the night, I lose my parents and can only turn my head from side to side in search of someone I know.

"You look like a cagged animal..."

I jump in place when I hear his voice, but I thank all the gods that James found me.

"I feel like one," I growl and eye up his outfit. "Who would say you could look good wearing a tux, Potter?"

"Oh, let's not start with the compliments, Singh. I'm sure Sirius won’t take long and we don't want a scene of jealousy so soon."

I roll my eyes, but I can't help smile a little.

“How many times have you avoided puking in the past hour? I almost died of fright a while ago when I spoke with Bellatrix and Narcissa Black," He says, feigning a chill.

I wince, no one has fond memories of Sirius's cousins.

"I have only felt a lot of discomfort with the congratulations and hints about the honeymoon," now I shiver. "I’ve been hanging in there."

"A while ago I saw Jenna talking to the Rosiers," He tells me.

"Oh, that’ll be fun," I frown. "Are you aware of what is happening throughout the whole party?"

He smiles.

"It's not to show off, but when something’s important, I do things right."

"Isn't school important?"

"Trifles," He says, shaking his hand carelessly making me laugh.

We talked about nonsense for a few minutes. The tension that I had with James before is gradually disappearing, which I appreciate, although sometimes he makes fun of me when some lady congratulates me, she asks about Sirius, obviously, I have to answer politely, which is truly funny to him.

"Persephone," says a man and I smile at him.

"Hi, Apollo," His arms briefly surround my body, my older brother is not always very affectionate, but I don’t complain. "How are Jane and Atlas?"

My older brother's baby was born a couple of months ago, I still remember the letter Jane sent me, she was very excited. Unfortunately I haven't been able to meet him, but I can't wait.

"Both are fine. She stayed to take care of him along with her mother so that Jane could also rest, we have not been able to sleep well since he was born,” he laughs.

James clears his throat for attention and I roll my eyes to then introduce him to Apollo.

"Potter, huh? I know your parents."

"It's a pleasure to meet a member of the Singh family who doesn't seem to be crazy," he jokes and I hit his shoulder.

"And Sirius?" Apollo asks me.

"We have no idea, I haven't seen him," I shrug.

"Surely he’s trying not to cry with his parents."

I nod and suddenly, Apollo’s distracted looking at some people in the background. James and I try to see them, but my brother takes my hand.

"Will you excuse us for a minute?" He asks James and he nods. Apollo takes me a bit away from where we were.

"What's going on?"

“I know the situation with our father is delicate, but I need you to stay alert. You and Sirius. Look for him as soon as possible. There are some things planned and they’ll most likely want you as an ally. If someone wants to set him aside for some ‘men's talk’ or ‘business’ make up something so you don’t get too far away or if you can stay with him, stay.” He says nervously.

"Does this have to do with what... happened last summer?"

My brother nods.

"I’d tell you not to do anything to get attention, but that’s impossible for you," he says with a small smile.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"Just be careful, dear girl..." Before I can answer, he walks away.

“Miss, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but haven't you seen my nephew? He’s tall, with long black hair– looks like a girl– he’s clumsy and has a bad character."

I do my best not to laugh loudly when Alphard stands to my side.

“Haven't seen him, but that’s a good description," He laughs.

"My dear Persephone, as always, it's nice to see you,” He hugs me and unlike my brother, his hug is warmer.

“Likewise. I'm sorry I didn't send you many letters while I was at school,” I say with a grimace.

"Don’t worry honey. Sirius has brought me up to speed,” He says winking at me and I can feel my cheeks burning. "Besides coming to greet you, they sent me to let you know that you should be with your family… Almost everyone has arrived and the Malfoys will say some boring words to start with an even more boring dance, but then we'll eat something and–" He looks around to make sure no one hears him. "You don't know this from me, but I think there will be shrimp," He whispers.

I laugh and nod, I say goodbye to him and look for my family, which doesn't take long.

My parents talk to Jenna's family and my siblings are with them. Apollo, Isis with her boring husband, Balder and Juno talking about something serious and they shut up when they see me.

"Oh dear, shouldn't you be with the Blacks?" Isis says with a mocking smile.

“They’re not married yet, Isis. Behave!” My mother scolds her.

“Hi, P,” Jenna greets me and I hug her quickly.

"Do you think it's too late to run away?"

"I already tried," She answers.

After a few minutes of getting everyone settled, I hear my mother greet another family that has just arrived.

"What take you so long?" She asks them. I turn to meet the Black family.

"Some complications, my dear," Walburga answers with a tight smile.

As the adults speak, Sirius walks over to me and I do my best not to ogle when I see him, but he doesn't make it easy for me, especially when the little scratches on his face -almost healed- make him look more attractive.

"Hey," He tells me. "You look beautiful."

How do I breathe?

"Thank you. You look good too,” I say adjusting his black tie in an act of nervousness.

"I promised not to cry when this happened, but I’m crying," says Alphard from behind us.

"Uncle, please," Sirius replies, standing next to me.

"I wish Jane was here," says the man pretending to wipe away a tear.

Behind him, Regulus approaches in a tuxedo of a different color from his brother's.

"Hi Reg," I say smiling, but it doesn't last long when he just greets me with a nod and then joins his parents, I follow him with my eyes.

"What's wrong with the little Black?" asks Alphard.

"We don't know," Sirius replies taking my hand. "Easy, I'll talk to him," he whispers. I nod.

"Are you holding hands?!"

I roll my eyes at the man's comment and he laughs.

"You're just in time, Black," says Jenna putting his hand on Sirius's shoulder. “Between Persephone and Potter they were about to cry when they didn't see you,” She jokes and Sirius raises eyebrow.

"It was just James," I assure him.

After some banter, Abraxas catches everyone's attention and, as Alphard said, his speech is boring, only for him to eventually invite a few couples to dance in the center of the room. My parents go together with Sirius's and Jenna's.

"I don't want to scare you, but you’ll have to go dance when Ares says so," Alphard tells us.

We both nod.

It's not that I’m bad at dancing, my parents forced us to take classes, it's just a waltz, but so much attention makes me nervous. This isn’t like school where I just ignore everyone, here I can feel my father's gaze. After a song, Isis enters with her husband and Balder with a girl that I cannot recognize.

"If I ever have to dance with someone, I'll go to the bathroom," Jenna tells me.

“I don't think you'll save yourself,” Sirius tells her. “I already tried to do that and they’re making sure we don't take too long. You better find James before someone else invites you."

Jenna's eyes widen and she doesn't wait long before running off.

"My dear sister is already scolding me from afar," says Alphard pointing to Walburga, who dances while looking at her brother with cold eyes. Sirius and I laugh when Alphard waves at her. "I'll go get a drink or find a sweet lad- wait," He says, raising his head a little and then laughing in a way that makes some guests uncomfortable. "I can't believe it! Eliot Flint?"

Sirius and I follow his gaze and see a man, roughly Alphard's age, walking towards us with a huge grin.

"If I’d known you’d be here, I wouldn’t have thrown my wife into a tantrum!" says the brown-haired man.

Alphard laughs and they both hug each other.

"I can't believe you're here! Oh!" says Alphard. "Walburga will die if he sees you here!" He claps like a small child.

I laugh at his attitude and that's when both adults realize of our presence.

"Eliot, let me introduce you to my nephew Sirius and..." He sees us with a mischievous smile "His girlfriend, Persephone."

I bite the inside of my cheek to avoid saying anything at his comment and shake the hand Eliot offers me.

"I don't want to be one of those corny gentlemen, but I have to be, Sirius. I haven't seen you since you were a baby, I'm glad you grew up into a healthy young man."

Sirius laughs, while Alphard nudges his friend.

“You’ve always been a lord, Eliot. Since we went to school,” He puts an arm around his shoulders and draws him closer affectionately. "This man and I had lots of adventures at Hogwarts, but what we enjoyed the most were his loony inventions, he always had the need to do something crazy with what we could find!"

Eliot gets a bit red and laughs. It's really fun to see Sirius' uncle so relaxed next to another adult other than my sister-in-law. And seeing them together, I can get an idea of why they have such a great friendship. Eliot wears a light brown suit, but it is not perfectly ironed or groomed like other men at the party and his brown beard gives him a more carefree look, which matches perfectly with Alphard's blue suit, that looks like he simply could not bother himself to make it look neater. His shoes aren’t even matching the rest correctly.

"I can imagine you spent many days in detention," Sirius says with a raised eyebrow.

"Stop there," says Alphard "Maybe some inventions or plans worked, but we didn’t have the record that you have, young man!”

"So you got yourself a troublesome boy?" Eliot asks me and I feel my cheeks burn.

"Something like that," I say. Beside me I feel Sirius's body tense a bit, but I don't dare look at him.

Alphard is distracted looking towards the hall. “Sorry guys, but your time to shine has come. It's your turn.”

We both look towards the living room, I take Sirius's hand slowly and sigh hoping nothing bad happens.

"Good luck, it was a pleasure seeing you," Eliot tells us with a smile that we reciprocate. "I'll see you soon, Black. Adeline must be expecting a dance too.” They both say goodbye and get lost in the crowd.

I feel a knot in my stomach, I take Sirius's hand more securely and he guides me towards the dance floor. We stop in a part a bit away from our parents, Sirius puts one hand on my waist and the other on my hand, while I put my free hand on his shoulder. We both follow the rhythm of the music without rushing.

"Everything is going well and that's not good," I whisper worriedly.

"I wouldn't say that," He says and I look at him confused. "Maybe I had a little fight with my mother before I came."

"That's why you were late," He nods.

"I managed to hear that she was talking to my father about a movement and that they must be alert for me to be someone's right hand."

My body tenses at the memory of Apollo's words. I tell Sirius about the warning.

"This is getting weirder," He says and then smiles. "But don't worry..." He whispers and with his hand on my waist he makes me get closer. "I'll keep you close."

"Who would say that last year you couldn't even stand next to me in the same room?" I say moving away a little.

Since the kiss, my relationship with Sirius has been very strange. We have not had time to speak about it, the exams were before winter break, so I spent it reviewing with Lily and Jenna and when we shared class, we couldn’t speak, we didn’t go beyond sharing looks and smiles.

"Sirius, we need to talk."

"That only means danger,” He says with a grimace.

The song ends and we try to go back to our place when my mother stops us.

“No, you must continue. The engaged couples are the ones that have to shine the most."

"Mom," I complain, but with her eyes she told us everything and we returned to our position to continue the next song.

"At least we can talk," says Sirius and now he looks nervous. "Do you want to talk about the kiss?”

“Not that especially, but yes. What do you want from me, Sirius? Please be honest, no more games."

He thinks for a few seconds.

"I want to be by your side. I know that with everything we’ve been through, it’s unfair that you give me a chance, but I have broken my head thinking about what’s happening now, what we’ve talked about. My friends are sick of me talking about you and what I should do, even I am– but I always get to the same end and you are always there."

My heart races.

"And what about that list of girls waiting for you?"

I won’t deny that it makes me nervous, Sirius's reputation is not a secret to anyone and although I haven’t seen him with any other girl since everything got strange with the wedding announcement, I cannot put that topic aside.

"They will go on," I raise my eyebrows and he quickly denies. "No, no, wait, don't look at me like that, I mean– I guess they'll still be there, but I'm not interested anymore, it was fun, but not anymore... I know, everything is your fault, my brain’s confused because of you,” He complains like a small child making me laugh.

"So it's easy to play with your mind?"

He complains.

"You're lucky I like you," he says without thinking. And it’s obvious that our feelings changed and that the kiss made it clear that we liked each other, but the fact that he said it makes me emotional. “...And what about you? What do you want from me, Persephone? "

"I want you Sirius," He smirks at my words. "It’ll be a disaster, but at least I'm sure of how I feel about you, and now everything’s different, now I can't let you go so easily..."

"Oh, trust me," He says, stopping and putting a hand on my cheek. "That won't be a problem," he leans a little. "You’ll have me for a long time, Percy," He says and then kisses my lips gently.

My hand goes up to his hair, when we part I can't help but smile and he does too. I haven't felt this way in a long time. The applause when the song ends pulls us out of our little bubble and we walk away from the crowd holding hands.

"Padfoot!" James practically throws himself at Sirius in a big hug. "I thought you were dead, but I saw you at one of the most cheesy dances I’ve ever seen in my life, I almost threw up."

"It's always good to see you, Prongs," says Sirius laughing.

"Ugh, no. You're smiling like an idiot in love,” complains the boy in glasses.

"Oh come on," says Jenna next to him. "If Lily were here, you’d be worse."

James sighs dreamily. "I already miss her"

"Stop judging me then," says Sirius hitting his head.

Dinner time arrives soon after. James and Jenna leave with their families and Sirius walks me to mine.

“Listen, I don't know if my mother saw us, but I think it’d be fun to continue the hateful performance between the two of us. I don't want to see her face of satisfaction,” He tells me a few meters from the table that, apparently, we shared.

"Good idea," I smile.

Dinner went by pretty fast, some sneering from Sirius and his mom replying back made me shiver at seeing so many similarities. I tried to talk to Regulus, but he was merely being polite. Isis would not stop criticizing the dresses of those present with Juno, Balder would occasionally look at the girl he danced with and Apolo was talking to my parents. The only pleasant thing was my conversation with Alphard, who keeps mentioning his reunion with his childhood friend.

"And tell me, dear Sirius," says Isis. "Have you already talked about how many children you want to have?"

I feel my face burn and Sirius is not far behind as he uncomfortably fixes his tie.

"Isis, please," I say through my teeth and she laughs.

“Look at you, little sister. So very ashamed,” joins Balder.

"It's nothing to write home about, Persephone. A question that many people will ask you," My sister says, drinking from her glass.

"Let's not overwhelm the kids," says Alphard trying to defuse the situation.

"The engaged kids, Alphie," continues Isis. "I'll give you some advice, as soon as you get pregnant, everyone will leave you alone," She says pointing to her husband who looks at her with annoyance.

"Wait," I look at her. "Are you pregnant?"

"What?" Balder blurts out.

"Surprise," She answers with a tight smile.

"We said this was not the time, honey," her husband tells her tensely.

"Oh shut up, you’re not the one who’ll carry this for nine months."

That baby won’t have an easy life. Not even born and I’m already worried.

"Isis," my father's deep voice stops the talk. My sister rolls her eyes and stays quiet.

"Gentlemen," says Abraxas arriving at our table. "Do you think we have a moment to talk business?"

Ares, Orion, Apollo, Isis's husband, Alphard, and Balder rise up. I turn to see Sirius. His father practically dragged him by grabbing him by his coat, giving him no chance to do anything about it. This isn’t right and I know that if I say something or even try to get up, everyone will get suspicious or my parents will make a fuss.

I only stay with women, who talk about… things– my mind can only think that at least Apollo and Alphard are with Sirius, but obviously it doesn't reassure me at all.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I say and as soon as I see that my mother and sisters are immersed in some gossip. Without waiting for an answer, I walk out the room, but before I can get to the bathroom, I hear an argument between two boys.

“Was your father even required at the meeting? That just adds another embarrassment to your family, Potter."

I follow the sound to one of the corridors of the Malfoy mansion.

"...besides you..." adds the blond boy.

"And what about you, Lucius? Didn't Daddy let you in with the adults?" James snaps

"I have an important mission to attend," He says, raising an eyebrow. "Actually, I have to talk to other people, you’re just a waste of time."

James laughs, fixing his glasses.

“You obviously wanted to show off your not-so-secret mission, Malfoy. I just wanted to go to the bathroom, but your arrogant presence interrupted my basic needs."

Lucius rolls his eyes.

“You're just a little kid, I knew inviting the Potters was a bad idea, but my father knows they can serve as jesters. After all, your father’s only the laughing stock of other families."

That makes James upset, I see him make his hand into a fist, but he tries to control himself.

"Didn't you have a mission to do?" He says through his teeth.

"Oh, does that make you uncomfortable, Potter? You know it's the truth, but I must say that I think that not only your family can put on a show. I look forward to the youngest Singh and your little Black friend doing something. They’re scandals experts, I want to see their faces when they find out that Avery will officiate their wedding."

Wait. What!?

"What did you just said?" James asks and Lucius smiles victoriously.

"I already said too much," He says, but James pushes him against the wall.

"No, pretty boy. Now you’ll tell me exactly what you know..."

Lucius's face turns even paler than usual at James' closeness. All his confidence is gone. Maybe I should stop the boy, but I also want to know what Lucius will say and if I get close I might screw it up.

"L-let go of me, Potter," stutters the blond.

"Start singing, Malfoy."

"I-I just– Everything is settled, my duty was to give him a small gift, my engagement to Narcissa also depends on him," He says quickly and then closes his eyes waiting for a blow that never comes.

Holy shit.

James analyzes the words and walks away from the blonde, who looks at him confused, but quickly adjusts his clothes and returns to his false attitude.

“Be careful what you do, Potter. You’re in my house and I can kick you out if I want to."

"Go away."

I hide between a nearby pillar and after a few minutes I see Lucius Malfoy walk away. When I no longer see him I walk up to James's side, he gives a start when he sees me, but then sighs.

"Did you hear that?" I nod. "I’ve heard that Avery’s not the most pleasant person in the world."

"He’s practiced black magic and killed many wizards when they get in his way," I tell him shakily. "How the hell are we going to stop the wedding if we have a person like him around?"

"I have no idea."

***

The night continued and after a couple more songs from the band, Sirius came back to our table, but this time he sat next to me.

"What happened?" I say nervously

"I'm confused– I thought they would talk about... important things, I don't know, but they only asked me questions about the wedding, where we would live, if I would continue at my father's job, silly things really, but..." He looks up and around a bit. “I saw your father speak with Apollo and other men that I couldn’t recognize, he seemed serious, more than normal, and your brother was seeing me from time to time, very tense. Do you think we should investigate more?"

I shake my head.

"Not tonight, it’s risky. Everyone’s in the same place and I'm sure they took measures so that no one else knows what they are planning."

Sirius purses his lips.

"So, I’ll tell James that there’s no need for him to do any distractions," He looks embarrassed, but he also has a smile. I roll my eyes.

“What were you going to do? No wait, I don't want to know. I can't believe you're so impulsive.”

"Does the excuse that we are Gryffindor work?" That makes me laugh a little.

"Maybe," I look him straight in the eye. "You're lucky to have someone from Slytherin," I say raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, we'll talk about it later," he complains, but then he smiles and takes my hand. "Now tell me, what happened here while I was gone?"

My smile vanishes immediately.

"We have problems."

"What?"

"Do you by any means, recognize Avery's name?" His face turns pale.

"Shit."

Taglist

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