#repost from my wordpress

[loveonyourheels]

ELEPHANT, BOXER, CHANGES

When you sit down to play jazz piano, whether to accompany a singer or to start learning a tune on your own, you don’t learn chords, you “play the changes”. There’s all sorts of specific terminology, far too many to include here, but “changes” will suffice for my purposes.

ELEPHANT

I was sitting at a piano yesterday for the first time in a long time. Growing up, there was one in my house, a big, black, scuffed, 100 year-old upright with bright, tinny keys and the lightest action I’ve ever felt on a keyboard. It used to belong to a catholic school and the hammers bent so easily to my frantic, toddlerish desires that it would have felt more wrong not to make its acquaintance, and so I did, on most days from the age of five years-old to twenty-one.

I begged for lessons from my kindergarten teacher. She was a strict woman in some senses, had no sympathy for children who would cry (I was one of these children who are prone to sobbing with little encouragement). Still, she gave me some good strategies. Her and my first university professor, a very different man, had in common the idea that one should learn to play a new song in pieces rather than all at once.

“How do we eat an elephant?” she used to say. I would hiccup between tears.

“Piece by piece,” I would respond.

–

BOXER

I’ve had seven piano teachers in my life and I suspect I’ll never have another. When I think of them, they almost seem like one person, one great big entity that told me what to do even though they were all so different in demeanor, background, shape and size.

When I started going to college for music, my first piano teacher there taught me to play like a boxer, to let gravity help me bend the keyboard to my then-fiery will, my fingers weak from years of playing my childhood piano’s easy keys. He would demonstrate by letting his hands fall as if suspended by marionette strings, one after the other, up and down like pistons.

And so for years, I played like a boxer, and indeed I fought my way through my college education, through changing majors, through a pandemic, through being denied entry into the traditional ensembles and stumbling down the path of free jazz, sonic freedom, tuning meditations. I scraped my way through years of insomnia, lithium-induced tremors and watching all my classmates disappear or fall sick, one by one.

It was the end of my degree when I was referred to an older man the next city over, a retired professor who would take me on and help me with my free improvisation skills, my primary focus at the time. I called him and we arranged a meeting and immediately he was horrified at the way I treated my instrument.

He said, in gentler words, that I had been abusing the keyboard, that I was sending all my sound, all the energy that flowed from my fingertips into the ground where it would be no good for anyone, where no one could hear it, feel its pull. We then engaged in a series of strange exercises for which we traded stories, his centered on fantastical happenings from traveling with free jazz musicians through late 20th century Europe.

I only ever saw him three times, but that was more than enough to understand the way I should actually have been playing. I was made to lean back, uncurl my right foot as I was prone to doing, tap my toes against the pedals so lightly they may as well have been suggestions whispered against the tarnished brass, and play up and out. Up and out, always.

Back then was the best I ever played in my life and everyone around me knew it, too. I wish I’d recorded more. I wish so many things were different.

–

CHANGES

I remember the music stopped. It was June, nine days after my senior recital, the day that only went wrong. I was strong for it, though, too tired not to be. I smiled the whole night long, even at the guitarist when he dropped out the hour before. I’m still proud of myself for that.

I remember sitting in a practice room, days before I would interview for my new, post-undergraduate job that didn’t quite have so much to do with music as my life had before and letting my hands fall to the keys.

It was an exercise my final teacher had given me, closing my eyes and letting my fingers pick their own, tangled shapes, new ones, ones I would have to put in work to analyze, to relate intervals to one another in the nature of Berg while having only the most basic relationship to serialist notions.

With my eyes closed and the notes ringing in my ears, the music soared up the walls, effortlessly rising to form silky clouds at the top of the practice room where I heard less noise every day, most of the others having left for summer vacation. At the same time, my stomach dropped.

I hated it. I realized I loathed playing the piano with my entire being.

My whole life up to that point had been focused on creation, largely musical, the instigation that comes with making something from nothing, pushing sound into empty air, and here I was, with a mysterious chord looming over my head, my fingers starting to cramp and the distinct ache that comes with no longer wanting something that you once wanted more than anything in the world.

That was two and a half years ago and I’m still waiting for the wind to blow me back. For now, I sit at pianos and lean against them as if their benches were only benches, and their frames nothing more than junk hunks of wood.

I’d push them out the window if I was able, watch them hit the ground and let out the only chord I want to hear.

[brawler1993]

I've had a Tumblr account for like 10 years and am only now starting to reblog stuff. This is going to take getting used to.

[currytantou]

[translation] Dear Vocalist Evolve Entry No 6 A’ – Animate track / CV: Kimura Ryohei

also x-posted on my wordpress blog / ko-fi page / commission me! as usual, do not repost or use!! :')

0:03 Hmm, it should be around here… Oh? Oh! Found it~! Extra large sunny side up! Yeah, apparently it’s an artwork slash bench! As you can see, it’s the shape of a freaking huge sunny side up! You don’t always get to sit on a sunny side up, do you? ‘Nuff said, we gotta take some photos!~

0:40 Here goes!~ First off, let’s strike a cool face. (camera snaps) Next, go all out and make a weird face. (camera snaps) Lastly, gimme a big smile! Honey, I love you!!! (camera snaps) Wait, wait!! It’s my duty to check the pictures~

Hmm, hm! These turned out nice! Pfft! Honey, that’s way too much effort on that weird face! But, but! Considering how you still looked cute despite the all-out weird face, I expect nothing less from my miraculous girl. What’s your deal, Honey? A’-tan is getting dizzy over your staggering cuteness attack! So, how’s the last picture look like? Whoa! This is bad!! It’s a problem if anyone approaches you! That’s not true! Your eyes weren’t half closed but you looked right into the camera- whoaa! Well, hmm, that’s true. It turned out nice. Actually, it turned out way too perfect that it captured Honey’s super angelic smile! If everyone sees that, they will fall for you! Therefore, I’m not showing these to anyone! But it’s our precious selfies so I should at least send it to Honey. When you’re at home, you can secretly take a peek and recall your Hakone day-trip memories with Darling all you want!

2:29 (phone vibrates) Alrighty! Let’s get going and move to the next place! This place is bigger than I expected and moving around takes so much time. Since we’re here, I wanna briefly check the whole place but they have an outdoor art gallery and indoor exhibition. So if we wanna see both, we gotta be quick. That said, we can’t stay still. Where to go next? Of course, I’m gonna prioritise where Honey wanna go, so don’t hold back and tell me~! Hm? Which is it? Huh? Soap bubble castle? We have no choice but to go! (clears throat) I shall lead the princess to the castle so your hands, please.

3:26 We are here!!~ Hmm? The princess’ castle is being occupied by all those kids? They seem to be having the time of their life, eh? It kinda looks like a damned stylish jungle gym. Now that we’re here, we too should aim for the summit and climb it! (Honey stops him) Huh? R-really?~ Seriously. No way I am stopped by the age limit after all the effort to reach here. But gentleman A’-tan doesn’t mind letting the kids have the castle if that means I can have the princess all to myself. I am way, way more content with this. (kisses)

Nah, this is basically how overseas people say hello. Besides, everyone’s attention is on the castle. So, no problem, no problem! Don’t mind that. You should tell me if there’s any place you wanna check out. Although I said we’re checking all places, of course I’m prioritising Honey’s requests!

4:48 It was long but I sure had fun!~ Makes this whole Hakone trip worth it. Hm? Huh? There’s no presence at the bus stop…Don’t tell me we missed it?! Ahh…Nah, it’s fine. I checked the schedule earlier and there’s no changes. If we get on this bus, we can easily ride the bullet train and go home. That said, let’s sit down. Honey, I’m sure you’re tired. Since we’ve been walking around the whole day.

I know right. We managed to look around but not take our time. Although, well, I came here knowing that. Yeah, let’s come again. How about we stay the night next time and make it a hot spring trip? After all, Hakone is all about hot springs! Doing it right away might be tough but a night stay might be possible after cd release. I know right! I wanna soak in a hot spring! Of course, with Honey~ No way, of course we should! After all this time, Honey?~

Ahh, a hot spring with Honey….Honey out of the bath…yukata…her nape..!! Ahh!! Ahhhh!!! Just imagining it makes me lose it!! That means I’m booking it on the bullet train ride!! Of course, it gotta be a room with a hot spring reserved in it! This will somehow work out if I put all my effort into it! Besides, I still hold a grudge over the jungle training camp the other day. I definitely won’t let ‘em take captive of me suddenly again!

6:43 And that means, Honey, you should tell me when you’re free! But before that..! Bam! (A’ hugs Honey) Don’t worry ‘bout it~ The bus isn’t here yet and there’s no kids around either. I felt excited thinking about the hot spring trip, so I immediately need your lips, Honey~ (kisses) I’m confident I would enjoy myself wherever, as long as you’re with me. But having you all for myself gotta be the best when nobody’s looking. That’s how our next date plan should be. Look forward to it~ (kisses)

ー

tysm for reading <3 ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

[mysimsloveaffair]

I have plans for the Wallace Family, so I'm back to reposting them on my website after being lazy for far too long.

I started writing the Wallace Family in September of 2014. This was a beloved legacy family of mine that I was forced to abruptly end in the middle of Generation 7 because of a hard drive crash. These posts currently only exist on my Tumblr page, so I want to be sure that I have a backup of this family to avoid the risk of losing any of the earlier generations.

I finally devised a plan to get this family to the 10th generation. So, I wanted to offer anyone interested a chance to play catch up with this legacy.

These posts are dated back to when I first posted them on Tumblr so they do not show up on the front page of my website. The best way to access this legacy is to use the links below…

Wallace Family Page (on WordPress)

read from beginning | read most recent post

**Please note that, of course, these posts can also be read here on Tumblr. However, some links are broken, and multiple posts are missing due to Tumblr updates, changes, and overall shenanigans. 

[gloryundimmed]

Get to know the mun ! repost, don’t reblog .

——— BASICS.

NICK NAME : Gray/Grayson

PRONOUNS : He/him

ZODIAC SIGN : Aquarius— fits me, right?

TAKEN OR SINGLE : Single, but a flirt and I'm sorry

ANYTHING ELSE ? : Nah I'm just chillin'

——— THREE SERIOUS FACTS.

I currently make money off of freelancing in web design and graphic design. I've worked for four literary journals now in some capacity, and I usually take the roll of web editor/graphic designer plus a reader. I'm also the web editor for my school's newspaper. My hands are always full, but that's the way I like it. I like commotion and stimulation.

I tend to keep people at an arms length even if I don't mean to, so if I ever feel distant, I apologize. I can just get weird when I'm too attached to someone, and I hate that feeling. Though it comes back to bite me in the ass because sometimes I feel like I have a ton of friends and I'm very social and love people, but I've got no "best friends."

I've got ADHD, which in my case means that I say yes to anything new and shiny despite how busy I may be. Sometimes I can be bad at gauging how much I can do at once, which leads to things slipping off my plate. Plus, the executive dysfunction is real af and I sometimes need a kick in the ass to get things done. Sorryyyy but you love me, right?

——— THREE RANDOM FACTS.

I have a dog named Romeo and I love him soooooo much

Death and knowing I'll die one day doesn't really scare me. Not that I want to die or anything, but letting people down scares me much, much more. It's my worst fear yet I feel like it happens all the time.

I love attending concerts, and music is a big inspiration for my writing. I'm always listening to something!

——— EXPERIENCE.

I've been into creative writing since I was at least 12, and at that age I began rp on a website called wetpaint.com with an elf OC because I was so into LOTR back then. Shortly after, I made an OC named Jake who I wrote with a lot. Wetpaint was like wordpress, a service where you could create little privately owned websites that could be made for any purpose with a forum/comment-like setup on most pages, and I would write with my in-person friends. I took a bit of a break from rp in my first three years of high school, but still wrote short stories. During my senior year, I got back into the rp scene, but that time here on tumblr. I've been writing here on and off ever since, with the creation of Kai in July 2014. Currently, I'm getting my bachelors in creative writing, so I guess that might count as experience, too. Sometimes I even write fanfiction lmao.

——— MUSE PREFERENCE.

Gosh, idk. I tend to go for a lot of different types of muses as long as they are written well and don't feel empty. I do lean toward more action/fantasy/romance than regular slice of life or platonic stuff, though. The muses I find most interesting have a lot of depth. I tend to find people with 20+ muses on their blog a little intimidating because I can't imagine having so many and it's hard to choose between them all. Also, it may not be true, but sometimes I can't help but think if they have so many, they can't possibly be at the depth that I'm looking for, but I'm probably just wrong on that. I barely have my 6 guys and write Kai the most of all, so it's hard for me to understand.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT.

FLUFF : I think I like cute stuff as much as the next guy. Sometimes I can find it a little boring, though. LMAO

ANGST : I LOVE angst. I love two characters who don't get along or have some sort of friction between them. It's my lifeblood, and that's probably obvious to see since I have a muse like Kai as my main. Conflict, heartbreak, violence, despair— I love it all.

SMUT : Can you guess? Again, with a muse like Kai, I think its clear that writing sex and sexuality is a big part of my journey as a writer. It's not a must-have for me in any rp, but it certainly spices things up and goes hand in hand with angst. Anything you catch me writing solo is bound to have smut in it somewhere, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Sex is such a huge part of life for a lot of people, and I think the Puritan guilt of society has caused many to shy away from it. I strive to be a sex-positive writer. If it's not your bag, though, I can certainly understand that as well.

——— PLOT / MEMES : They don't call me the idea guy for nothing! I love plotting, even if it doesn't always come to fruition or never comes to fruition. Plotting sustains me. It has the thrill of imagining scenes without having to go through the slog of writing them. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy writing, but I don't always have the energy to roll up my sleeves and get to it. I also love memes! Any meme someone sends feels like a love letter to me and my muses. They're great because they can start things off with no plotting required. I send them in as often as I can, but sometimes I'm not around and don't see them.

TAGGED BY : @shishitoren-vc tyvm!! love u

TAGGING: @lured-into-wonderland @incandescentia @eraba-reta-unmei and anyone else who wants to. I chose some people I don't know as well but would like to!

[sirianasims]

TRUTH: What's something you had planned for your legacy but it turned out completely different?

Oooooh, you’ve opened a can of worms now! 🐛

The short answer is: The rest of the legacy.

Originally, I had 12 generations mapped out, but I got tired of rushing through each one, so I have now decided that we’re staying with Julia for a long time and then she will be the last heir. I wanted to take my time and really flesh out her story and try new things with my storytelling instead of sticking to my usual 10 short chapters per generation.

Here is an 🌟 exclusive 🌟 original look at what was supposed to happen. If you read my story back when it was on Wordpress, there was a bit more emphasis on the vampires, but I’ve since toned this down when I started reposting everything to Tumblr because none of this will be happening now.

Very long post under the cut:

🦙 Generation 5 is Julia, and she was supposed to have a single child, a son named Marcus. What actually happens in Julia’s life remains to be seen as I have completely rewritten her entire story.

🎤 Generation 6: Marcus wants to become a stand-up comedian but he’s not actually very good at it. He’s a bit of a hippie and finally decides to just move to the woods and start a commune. He has a daughter. He grows his own weed, but ends up infected by a weird, purple plant that starts growing in his fields. He becomes more and more strange until he is tragically killed by Lilith Vatore, who herself dies after biting him.

🦇 Generation 7: Marcus daughter, Nadia, grows up with her grandparents after witnessing her father’s death. She doesn’t remember how he died but is plagued by nightmares about vampires and becomes obsessed with them. As an adult, she becomes an author of steamy vampire romance novels, writing under a pseudonym. She ends up coming into contact with Vlad and her childhood trauma is triggered by meeting Caleb again. She later works with Caleb and Vlad in their attempt to solve the mystery of why Lilith died from biting her father and they discover the purple plants. She falls in love with Vlad and they have twins, Oliver and Paulina.

🍳 Generation 8: Oliver, born a vampire, dreams of becoming a chef and eat real food. Against his father’s will, he takes the vampire cure, but he struggles to deal with his new mortality and aging. He meets a younger woman but reject her in favour of his career, feeling that he doesn’t have enough time for both. She marries someone else and he becomes a celebrity chef, but realises that it’s all meaningless without love and goes to win her back. They have a son, Quinn, but Oliver is getting old and dies when Quinn is only 21.

🌴 Generation 9: Quinn is distraught after losing his father and wants to make sure he gets as much out of life as possible. He decides to travel the world and eventually ends up in Selvadorada where he meets the grumpy tour guide, Isadora, who hates his spoiled ass at first. They get lost in the jungle and discover a strange purple plant, but wisely keep their distance. They eventually find their way home but Quinn has fallen in love with Selvadorada (and Isadora) and decides to stay and work in her father’s museum. He and Isadora have 3 kids.

🚓 Generation 10: Their youngest son, Tulio, decides to become a cop. After making a big mistake, he gets reassigned to the sleepy and boring Henford as punishment. However, Henford has become a lot less boring lately, and Tulio and his partner investigate some strange things happening, finally discovering some underground ruins which contain a huge purple plant that seems to affect the minds of the locals. Tulio decides that this seems supernatural and calls in backup from his great-grandfather Vlad, and they get another piece of the puzzle of the purple plants.

⭐️ Generation 11: Tulio’s daughter, Vanessa, decides to become a famous actress but she secretly longs for eternal youth and beauty and is jealous of her vampiric ancestors. She tries to talk Vlad into letting her become a vampire, but he says no, so she instead tries to seduce and convince Caleb. Shenanigans ensue, including Vanessa murdering her husband, the father of her child, for being a bit of a dick.

🌺 Generation 12: Vanessa’s daughter Xena decides to find the truth behind the Duchelli family’s strange past. She ends up in Strangerville and finally solves the Mother Plant mystery, discovering a convoluted plot involving aliens that goes all the way back to her ancestor Eric’s brother, Daniel, the half-alien from Generation 2.

The End.

If you read this far, well done! I’m impressed. Have a cookie 🍪 and a picture of Vlad. He will make his way into another story instead, and so will many other ideas from my original draft.

[zennihilation]

All the Moonlight Left (Complete)

Characters: Juan de Riva; Teia Cantori; Viago de Riva Words: 4147 Summary: Three years into the Occupation, Teia wants to go dancing. Juan is tasked with making this happen.

Notes: This is a repost from when I accidentally deleted my Tumblr. I was on my bs about Teia again and wanted to write something short about Rook taking her dancing. Then realized it's not the man she wanted so I fixed it.

Read on Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 Read on WordPress: Full Text

[talenlee]

Decemberween 2024 — The Porch Raccoons

The past few years has been a sequence of contractions in the context of online social spaces. Whether twitter, tumblr, wordpress, mastodon, bluesky or cohost (RIP), some people who were very entrenched in one place have moved to another place, and there have been periods of orientation in those new spaces. One of my favourite periods of this adjustment was watching redditors adjust to Tumblr, and finding people who were delighted by their new environment, even as people were confused by it.

In this time, someone expressed surprise that tumblr just let you share whatever you wanted, and you could follow anyone. The metaphor was that you just put trash out on your front footpath, and anyone who wanted could just wander by and inspect your trash.

This was codified with the phrase My Trash Now.

There are some friends I have who are in what I think of as my ‘porch trash ecosystem.’ They are people who I contact on Discord, every day I can remember to, to say hello, and then to share things – just any old things – I find as I go about my normal day. This can be things like quotes from work, academic sources I find fun or just because I find the name of the academic funny (Wark, 2016). It can be animal pictures that I think they’ll like, things I find thanks to reddits I’m on. Podcasts I listen to, blog posts I’m working on, game designs and ideas, all that kind of thing, can get processed, introduced, and then shared to these people who are, as I understand it, largely not on the same social media platforms as me.

Once upon a time I actually thought, believe it or not, that this kind of behaviour was cheating: If I was bringing someone something it shouldn’t be a copy-paste of something I shared with someone else and I absolutely shouldn’t be making a conversation to make a blog post. That felt to me like at some point, that person might see the blog post I made and come to me with ‘hey, you made this joke/this point, to me, already,’ and then they’d feel like they ‘missed out’ on the blog post I made that day. This rule even applied to tweets, in case you thought I was ever sensible about this idea.

The practice now, of putting things I find on my ‘porch’ and sharing them and making sure that the people around me see specific things I think they’d like to see is, I think, very important in my attempts to reclaim a smaller kind of internet. It is a behaviour that means instead of the shy, contact-light version of reposting a thing on my twitter or tumblr or cohost and figuring the people who would like it would see it I hope, but instead the much more human-centric position of considering: I think this friend would like this, so I will show it to them.

Consequences ensue!

One of the consequences is that I’m much more picky about what a friend might like to see. After all, I don’t want to spend all day on this. But just like the habit of googling words I don’t recognise or names when I see them being talked about in the news, the habit of ‘oh, X would like that, I should send it to them,’ has built in me a realisation that the best stuff is the stuff worth doing this with and not just treating my friends as an audience slush pipe.

Another thing is that I’m much more likely to talk to them about the things I’m sharing. They’re more likely to appreciate what they see and more likely to talk to me about things that they’re expert in. if I don’t quite get something I can share it and sometimes they’ll help me learn. On social media, when someone shares something that’s mostly but not quite right based on your expertise, you can’t really explain that to them you have to kind of explain it to everyone and that creates a sort of didactic feeling. It comes across as passive-aggressive.

My favourite thing about it though is that my friends do it too. They start conversations because they know it’s okay to do that with me. I am not left in the online position of the social media mutual paralysis. ‘Oh no, am I annoying them?’ They’ll tell me! We’re not posters putting up images on adjacent walls, we’re adults talking to one another. By taking the initiative to share with my little ecosystem, I am doing something that reassures them that I want to talk to them and that makes it easier for them to bring things to me to talk about them.

I bring this up on Decemberween because you have this too. You almos certainly have someone you’re talking to online who you’re scared of annoying, who you don’t want to be too concerning about, who you think hey, they might be a friend and I uh, I want to talk to them but I don’t want to annoy them. Bring them things, bring them things to talk about, ask them if they want to talk about things. The first step in building these connections is someone reaching out and there’s nothing wrong with being the person who reaches out and makes contact with people. It is, in fact, good and healthy, and it’s okay if you’re the one doing it most often because some people aren’t that good at it and that’s okay too.

Once upon a time I read and internalised this dumb idea that if you’re the one who initiates conversations online all the time, you’re somehow more of their friend than they are your friend, one of your classic ‘X is bitch behaviour’ kind of stupid ideas. Don’t think like that, don’t be worried about that. This Decemberween, commit to being willing to open your heart and send someone a photograph of a badger buying a pizza.

Incidentally, if you’re reading this, if you’re Blade, Doc, Decay, Ettin, Fox, or Kate, you’re on the porch. And Librus, you are near the porch, I just don’t often find stuff I think you’d like.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[loveonyourheels]

I think about how love is something we’ve been writing about for a very long time, how companionship between men is decried. I think about Barbara Kruger and elaborate rituals you construct to touch other men, how people reinvent these rituals for you.

How horrible that the mask still bears the whorls of his fingers, their fine ridges distinctly his, with a resemblance so pitiful. His lungs seize all at once, overcome with the frigid night air and the thin coating of dust that’s settled in their membrane.

His time is running out. The clay is almost dry, lighter now, steely gray under his hands.

Enkidu never thought he’d die under the light of the stars. He never thought he’d return to the trees and the boars, the tusks he’d once taken and twisted in jest, the wildness that birthed him, a gift, they’d said.

A gift. He’d been Gilgamesh’s gift. He’d taken his companion’s arm, fought and scraped and triumphed over the Gods themselves and that had been their assurance that yes, they were great, they were higher, higher, practically immortal.

But here he is, the skin that lies below the wound over his pelvis stained dark. In the night it looks almost purple, brown, blood already curdled, no longer red. That which once produced vibrance from him now stings his nose, the taste of metal, of battle, his own undoing. And maybe he could have seen it coming. Maybe there is a world where he had the sense not to rush into valor with love under his heels. There is a place where he could have let Gilgamesh go for a God he did not love in turn.

But that place is not here, and he has made himself alone now, with only his frantic fingers to guide him, pulling and thumbing the awkward planes of his face into Earth.

It’s wrong. The slant of the mask’s forehead is too steep, its brows too proud, its chin altogether too round, too child-like. The shape of his beard better resembles the plume of an eagle than the scratchy mess he knows he’s grown.

He’s too magnificent, too young. When he holds up the mask to the sky, moonbeams shining in the masks’ hollow eyes, he sees a person he doesn’t recognize. He holds it aloft despite the piercing pain in his gut, his trembling hands rotating the piece so he can determine exactly what is wrong with it.

But what isn’t wrong with it? He knows just as well as any man that memory is faulty, that this is the only chance he has at reaching that elusive immortality, that diabolical greed that hides behind his ferocious lover’s dark eyes. He’s not doing it for himself. He’s doing it for Gilgamesh’s long life after his. He’s doing it for his own, selfish need to live on forever. Gilgamesh is the only one that’s ever mattered.

It’s his own fault that he never schooled his hands in the art of crafting fine things, that he’s spent his short life seeking the life of the outrageous lion rather than the careful owl, his eyes trained on the target in front of him rather than the great big sky, blue as it ever was.

Blueness turns to black before him as the night drags on. The rush of the wind around him obscures whatever calls may come his way, but no one would dare look for him out here.

He is Enkidu. He was of the wild once and he shall find a way to return, sneak in through the back door, rise up from the spring, claw his way up and out from moist, tight-packed dirt, farmland-rich dirt, reborn as both animal and man, ready not to change a thing but be better, crueler, closer to Gilgamesh’s side.

His legs fail him all at once, a collapse followed by the syrupy drip of blood and flesh onto the dry topsoil. He closes his eyes, the mask clutched in his hands and listens to the insistent splatter of blood, his own life draining in front of him.

If the Gods were to save him, it would have happened by now. If the Gods loved him, they would have offered him the chance to shape his likeness with deft fingers despite his lack of practice.

He startles at a rustling behind a nearby tree. He blinks his eyes open to see a boar across the clearing, its black eyes shining in the moonlight. He looks up at the stars, the familiar shapes he’s traced his entire life, and back down. Slowly, he raises the mask to his face. He settles the unfamiliar nose across his own bridge, aligns his nostrils as best he can, and grunts with all the strength of the divine bull he’d slain hours prior.

With the last of his might, he rocks forward onto his knees, hops up onto his toes, and stalks forward.

The boar shows no sign of kinship. Enkidu feels none in turn.

He stops. He smiles. He pounces.

At the first rip of flesh, he hopes in death he’ll be unrecognizable.

[dndhistory]

323. TSR - AC5: Player Character Record Sheets (1984)

Today is a big day for this account you are reading. Back in August of this year the Instagram account where I was sharing all of these entries got shut down for a mysterious "violation of terms and conditions" which I was never able to figure out. I wasn't able to restore my account or find out why it was shut down. So, I had to start a new account, and you might be reading this on Instagram or Tumblr, Wordpress, Twitter or BlueSky... they won't catch me with my pants down again. 

Why is today important? I have finally got back to where I was when I lost the account and this is the first new post. From now on I'll do one daily post rather than the several you've been getting and they were reposts from the old account. Now I'm doing this real time again. So, yay! I get to read new DnD material again! If you want to support me there is some kind of link in my bio in whatever platform you are reading this which has a "buy me a coffee" option which is always welcome!

Good thing I didn't have much to write about today as we are just covering this new edition of the Character sheets, this time with some cool Clyde Caldwell art, otherwise there's not much to it, the same usual green character sheets on the inside.  See you tomorrow with some cartoons... probably! 

[strapskinkstories]

wont let me post stories, but it'll let me post this -_- Unofficial Status Update: Looks like there's something *FUCKED* with Cloudflare and Wordpress's CDN. So when I go to pull old posts and repost them, the CDN freaks out and gives me

This bullshit. This could be limiting in how much output I can get this weekend. We might be able to get one story done at this rate. CDN issues aside I also have my own body throwing wrenches because I'm still recovering from my period. While the worst is over I'm still crampy, still hormonal and rather off kilter.

That said Clarpup has put in THREE story commissions which means GUARANTEED 3 red hot stories coming soon with a minimum page count of 5 printed pages of text.

The stories are expected to balloon to over 10 pages each as clarpup is a very patient and kind commissioner who understands how erotic creation works, it's a very ebb and flow workflow, especially when hormones are kicking back and saying "Ugh I don't want to deal with erections right now! I just want to write."

Erections start bothering me, I take a break for a while, I come back crank a bit more out til another one hits me wrong :/

It is what it is folks, this is what you get for choosing a recently transitioned female, I'm still figuring out how to pilotage this vessel XD

[currytantou]

[translation] Dear Vocalist Unlimited Kagaribi SIDE Judah also x-posted on my wordpress here I was commissioned to translate this cd few months ago and I just realised I haven't posted this here! ;u; Only posting translation of the first track as portfolio purposes!

do not repost or use for re-translation to other language!

NIGHT ROAD

0:04 Huh? What the heck is this? Oh? You’re finally here? You’re late. I’m not waiting for you though. But, look at this. Tch. Who bought *Aika strawberries? Were they promoting it? (snaps photo) Who knows? No idea. Anyway, *Tochiotome is the best. I hope it’s not true but don’t tell me every menu in this restaurant uses Aika. Just when I’m here to have some Tochiotome. Don’t call this a strawberry fair and pull this stunt on me ‘cus I’m gonna leave. I see. Then make it quick and ask them. It’s not a strawberry fair without Tochiotome. We’re in Higashi Village though, what the heck.

(*types of strawberries)

01:26 Yum. Well, obviously it is. Huh? Is yours an Aika menu? Not that I care though but I suppose I can tell the difference with just one bite.

It’s not bad but I still don’t like it. It’s close to Tochiotome but way too sweet. In the first place, the name itself is already a big no. *The way it overlaps with Tochiotome. If it’s a new variety, then they should compete with a completely new name.

(*the full name is Tochi-Aika)

2:23 Huh? You still can’t tell the differences? Are you serious? But not that I care. It’s gonna be more annoying if you realize how good Tochiotome is and we end up fighting for it. I’ll stick with Tochiotome so you just eat Aika as you like.

Hm. Sure. New song? That goes without saying. Heck, I have endless songs that I’ve made and saved. I even made songs before the fes anyway. Well, that’s the plan. But I might come up with better songs, so I can’t tell yet. Since my schedule this time is quite free. What kind of song, you asked me? Obviously any song is gonna be the best song. Since I made it. Have I ever made an iffy song so far? No, right? Hm. I assume you know that at least. Well, there’s that so look forward to it.

Yum. No matter how you look at it, Tochiotome is the winner. Huh? You just happened to find out about the fair before me. Why do I have to compliment you for that? Shut it. If I have to compliment, it’s not you but Higashi Village that did not forsake Tochiotome. Plus, I’m the one who pays for this so don’t get carried away.

4:29 Tch. (sighs) Geez, it’s not moving for a while. My house is just over there. Hey, pops. I’m getting off here. It’s obviously faster if I walk. (open door) Come along, you too, get off now. This will do. Just how long the traffic jam continue? Are they doing some kind of construction? Good thing we got off here. Never mind that, hurry up. It’s no time to take it easy.

5:30 (sighs) Huh? Whoa, what’s up? I’m not walking fast though. You’re just slow. Shut it. I don’t care about heels or whatever but you’re the one who chose to wear it, remember? Huh? Are you saying it’s better if we stay unmoved inside that taxi? No complaining at this point. Tch. Annoying. Let me walk at whatever speed I want to. Plus, we don’t have to reach here together at the same time. You have the key to my house too. Just come here at your own pace. (sighs) Fine, I’ll just carry these for you. When did you even buy it? What did you buy- Uh! Tochiotome?!

Hmm. For someone like you, you did well. Not bad! I approved this. Two packs, even! Tch, this is Aika, huh? Why..? I see. Well, whatever. Anyway, Tochiotome is mine. Hey! What are you grabbing for?! Let go! (y/n struggles)

(sighs) This is so annoying. I’m walking with you, heading to the same place. Why the complaint, then? What are you unhappy about? We’ve walked this street for ten thousand times or so. What good comes from walking together slowly?

7:40 I wonder. I’ve forgotten what it’s like. Even if there isn’t much, how different could it be if I walk with you? What the heck? The scenery is no different than usual. No matter where I look, all I see are buildings and apartments. Maybe you can see Tokyo Tower if you squint hard enough. Talk? About what?

Hmm. Stars, huh? Pfft, haha! It’s cloudy though! Not a single star spotted! Don’t just come up with stuff! You can’t even give a good example, just how silly are you! I can’t understand what you’re saying. Anyway, let’s go. At this rate, we’ll never make it home. Huh? Whatever makes you happy.

9:03 (open door) Hey, make sure to keep Tochiotome in the fridge. I see. Good then. We still have barley juice, right? Alright, I’ll get in the shower and I’ll have that once I’m done… On second thought, you’re coming with me. What kind of face is that?

You’ll shower later anyway, won’t you? Won’t it be faster if we do it together? Whatever, just come. Gotta be quick and drink barley juice..! (drags y/n) Huh? You pulled me by my clothes as you liked earlier, but you got mad when I did it to you? What even. Scratch that, I’ll take ‘em off here. (undresses y/n) What’s up with your outfit? You know you’re coming to my house, so don’t wear something so hard to take off..! Shut it. Then, are you planning to wear that the whole time here? You’re staying over, aren’t you?

Anyhow, I’ll take them off. It’s just a matter of time. (y/n struggles) Hmph! Stop resisting. Or as you yourself said, “It’s our precious time together.” (kisses) Pfft haha! What a funny face! But I don’t hate that look. How do I put it? You make me feel like messing with you.

Oh? Make me pancakes tomorrow morning. Don’t blame me. I just thought about it now. The ones outside are smaller than yours. Those can’t fill me up. Besides, I have Tochiotome too. Isn’t that just great! Dunno. If there’s no ingredients, then just go and buy ‘em? But that can wait. I said I want it in the morning. That said, just shut up and let me mess with you now. (kisses)

〰 Thank you for reading! 〰 Want to see your favourite drama cd translated? Please consider my translation service :)

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

Do you guys remember how all those clickbait articles announcing the wedding seemed to use Tumblr as their source?

What do you think are the odds of those sites using chatgpt to generate those articles after having already sabotaged and controlled the narrative using the fandom in order to get them to talk about it?

By scanning the fandom discussion as content to use in the chatgpt generator........

Genuine question @ staff, how often have you allowed user content to be scanned and reproduced for the use of driving traffic on the site? Still waiting on a response regarding my question about banning links to x? Haven't had an update on that one

I mean heres the thing, the same people that own Tumblr own WordPress and the users there have constantly been facing having their work scalped and reposted by other ghost accounts owned by the company, much like Spotify does with lo-fi music, which if you weren't aware managing those ghost accounts was the entire reason they fired the people managing the playlists

They are stealing content from their users and using it to generate content owned by the company in order to keep the advertising revenue and to generate traffic

Much like Instagram and Twitter does.......

You may have also noticed this happen on Twitter when you wanted to protest and artists content being used by some company stealing their art on some fucking t-shirts

Like I said before Tumblr is just as bad as all the others

Imagine what's going to happen to this AI technology when it's found to have interfered in an election.........

Personally I'm hoping for a ban or extraordinarily heavy regulation

[tellurian-in-aristasia]

thank you again for all your hard work - I get excited when I see new posts on your blog. Do you have plans to mirror or back up your posts anywhere else, like a personal website or something, just in case? I would hate to see such a centralized collection of research and resources disappear someday!

You're quite welcome! I have been very slowly mirroring this Tumblr over on a wordpress blog: Aristasian History, but I'm far behind because sometimes posting on Tumblr runs away from me a bit! I also try to tag things a bit better over on the wordpress. I would also encourage anyone to mirror any of my own postings for their own research purposes. Please feel free to liberally quote, save, repost, share, any sources I've dug up from the depths of elektraspace history. The Aristasians themselves frequently reposted their own writings in different formats over the decades, from magazines in the 70s to text essays posted in forums in the 2000s, and really, this seems like the only way some of their writings have survived. Simply because there were many different versions of them posted in many different places!

[zennihilation]

Other Masks

Characters: Viago de Riva; Juan de Riva Words: Summary: Juan dresses up the Fifth Talon. (Prev) (Next) (Full Text on WordPress)

Note: This is a repost.

9:48 Dragon – 3 Years into the Occupation 

“I’m going to kill you.” Viago’s chest was heaving. They had gone at that pace for an hour straight with Juan’s constant reminders that there was still two hours left to go. He caught the water skin thrown at him and eyed it suspiciously.

“Drink it. It’s just water.” Juan drank out of their own. They were used to the pace but also knew a night like this was a marathon, not a sprint. “Besides, you can kill me tomorrow. Tonight I’m on a schedule. 

“You’re doing this for a job?” Viago growled, ready to unload on them for an entirely different set of reasons.

“A job implies I get paid. It’s supposed to be my night off, remember? Don’t worry. If you fuck up too badly, I suspect I won’t be asked to do it again.”

“And what about me?”

“You’ll probably have bigger problems, but only your pride will be hurt. How much is that worth to you?” Juan smirked and set their water skin down. “Break’s over. Now let’s see how you do without me yelling at you every five seconds. Hermano! Song change!” 

The next hour and a half went fast and without argument. Even for the second half, when Juan began to introduce a light amount of combat and magic into the choreography, Viago kept up, making sure never to be caught on the wrong foot.

For all of the awkwardness of the shift in power dynamic, Viago took to strict instruction fairly well which was more than a bit surprising. The two always argued, but Viago was no Rialto Fledgeling. He only seemed to listen when people were about to die. The focus he had now made Juan’s blood turn to ice, though they were never so stupid as to show it. 

“Good! Good. This is great, actually. Hermano! Guess who gets to get paid.” They went to their hostage and dragged the chair out to the deck outside the door. They cut the musician free and shoved a bag heavy with coin into his arms. “Run.” 

The man didn’t need to be told twice. He shoved the bag into his vest and took off into the night.

Juan turned and headed back into the door, immediately catching a knife in a bubble of magic. “Be serious,” they scowled, lightning arcing up around them. “We’re not done yet.” 

“Explain yourself. Now.” Viago withdrew his blade but kept it in hand.

“If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m not going to bother. Sit down.” They went to their pack and pulled out a small parcel. 

“What is that?”

“A disguise kit. Exactly how long has it been since you’ve been in the field?” they asked dryly and nodded to a crate where Viago could sit. Juan perched on the crate behind him and pulled out a comb, undoing the careful styling of the man’s hair. 

“I never tended to use them.” 

“Right because you never had to do infiltration. Just your special high ranking targets. Well, prepare to get a little dirty tonight.”

“You said you weren’t on a job.”

“I’m not. We’re just going to a different neighborhood. Now hold still.” They bit their lip as they pinned Viago’s hair, sticking on decently realistic looking ear points made of a soft resin.   

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Making you look palatable.” They clipped a couple earrings to one side and made sure everything stuck. They unpinned and styled the hair to look a little less kept. They moved around, pulling out a small canister and began to paint around Viago’s eyes. “Almost there.”

Viago waited until the brush came away from his face. “What else could possibly be left.”

“I dress you,” they said, grinning. 

“How did she put you up to this?”

“Uh, she told me to do it, and she said it in that way that said I had to get it done tonight. You’ve spoken to her before. I feel like that part doesn’t need explanation.” 

“You don’t work for her.”

“Neither do you, and yet.” He pulled out a larger parcel and tossed it to him. “Get changed.”

[coupleofdays]

The Swedish Games

Some of you may have heard that the social media platform Cohost is shutting down soon (it will become read-only at the end of September, and the servers will be shut down sometime at the end of this year). I think this is a real shame, since Cohost was a very interesting alternative to Tumblr, with many features intended to make it a more healthy and open social media experience. Yes, it had some flaws, but I got the impression that the site staff were at least sincere in their attempt to provide a better alternative to the likes of Twitter and Tumblr, and if it had lived longer, it might have improved further. But, sadly, it won’t.

As you may infer from the words above, I myself have an account on Cohost, but I have been hesitant to link to it on here. This is mainly because I have a certain amount of “internet paranoia”, and I try to keep my various online presences separate from each other. But with Cohost shutting down, I have decided that it’s time for me to let my guard down at least a little, being a little more open, taking a (hopefully) small risk in order to be a little more social and perhaps make some new connections with other people. Therefore, I’m going to reveal the following:

I run a Wordpress blog called “The Swedish Games”, on which I write posts in English about obscure games from my home country. Of course, Sweden has had several big international hits when it comes to videogames (such as Minecraft, Candy Crush Saga and Battlefield), but the focus of my blog are games that are far less known outside their home country (usually, but not always, because they were never translated or released internationally). It’s my way to try to make what I hope might be a meaningful and unique contribution to the field of videogame history writing, the only way I can think of to do so. I have already written about several interesting games on the blog, but the posts I think I’m most proud of are:

Kosmopolska, a fascinating artistic CD-ROM multimedia game from the 90s.

Agent 999, the earliest known published Swedish game created by a woman.

Rymdresa, the only game created by a member of the Swedish Academy (the organization that chooses the winner of the Nobel Prize in literature).

A post about how to emulate the Swedish computer ABC 80 on modern machines.

Sociopolitical Ramifications, a furry-themed online text game whose creators were important contributors in several different ways to the furry fandom during the 90s, not only in Sweden, but worldwide.

My previously-mentioned Cohost account is a companion to the Wordpress blog. Aside from using it to post updates about new blog posts, I have also written a number of posts somehow related to the games on the blog, or about things that aren’t strictly related to Swedish games, but are still interesting pieces of Swedish culture. With Cohost shutting down, I think that I will start writing more about those things on here instead, including reposting some of my Cohost posts. Don’t worry, I won’t be posting less about Tron and all that fun stuff, I will just be writing about other things in addition to that. I found a small but wonderful audience for my blog on Cohost, and I hope that it might get some new readers from here as well.

(As a funny aside, I later realized that my first blog post on The Swedish games was made on the release date of the original Tron movie. So even though I hadn’t intended it, there’s a Tron connection there too!)