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singingbun · 2 years

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As I hit my late 20s, Eden of the East hits harder now than ever when I first watched it

This is just a bit of a spontaneous post while typing my thoughts aloud.

How does this portrait sound like?

You just got out of high school, not knowing what you want to do in life. So you do the most generic thing that your teachers suggest you to do. Go to university, take an arts degree so that you can figure out what you want for your career. You spend years and years being fed the curriculum that show you no sense of direction, only more misdirects because they want you to think in a certain way; while failing to prepare you to a workforce mindset. When graduation hits, university debts come in, and you find yourself unprepared with whatever high end job that you may have potentially considered. While scouring through job listings, for every interview you sit through, you answer in the most society-acceptable answer in hopes you get a position. But even in that, no employer wants you there. The worst part, they give you trial shifts but never pay you cause its only a ‘trial run’. Then you are left wondering why did everything go so wrong, while you still live with your family, feeling the shame of not being able to live for yourself because of that misstep of not knowing what you wanted to do in life before you entered university.

In contrast, what about this portrait?

You are struggling. You take petty errand jobs just to get enough pay to buy one meal a day. Struggling to make ends meet with no guarantee that you’ll make it out alive before the end of your 20s. Then, a random man comes along, and asks you a question. “If you had a billion in your bank account, what would you do to change the world?” And for whatever answer you gave him, you find yourself unconscious, wake up with a mysterious phone in hand that has a billion with it. Then the phone instructs you that you have been chosen as part of the elite in hopes to save society from their own peril. the game takes the rule that you are granted the opportunity to do so by using that billion currency to bribe, to start a business, to charity, etc.

in retrospect, Eden of the East tell a hauntingly relatable tale of the society’s problem with responsibility while addressing the endless young adults who try to integrate themselves into that society. Now on one hand, Eden of the East tell a variety of themes, though on a cultural level it is indeed a correlation to Japanese society of the roles people must take to survive. The depictions of the struggling protagonist Saki and the growing problem of NEETs became something that struck home with me in the recent years of my struggles. I, who is more than ashamed on my lack of employment, found myself terrified of my future. The same way our main pov protagonist struggled in her seeking for a position within the workforce. I won’t deny that my life is more pathetic, but upon rewatching Eden of the East, it hit home with addressing the expectation of the naive youth while overlooking the true problems that have hindered the ability to properly integrate into the mismatched structures we as a society have built ourselves into.

Much of the idea of being granted 1 billion yen (or dollar) while given that expectation to change the world with it really sounds like a haven to the mind. But when looking into the nuance of the series’ concept, it is actually tragic. Tragic in the sense that humanity’s hubris is the inability to see the consequence of our actions. No matter how virtuous we think ourselves to be, what we do for society will always be chained with consequence. If given the opportunity to be granted 1 billion dollars, would I even be wise enough to know how to start a proper business? Certainly, the first thing I’d do is pay my loved one’s debts, from mortgages, to university debts, etc. But would I be good and capable enough to understand the nuances of people’s struggles? Do I even have what it takes to do the necessary actions, even at the cost or one’s own integrity and morality? In truth, I cannot answer that question, but this series can only give us a hopefulness that cannot easily be achieved within our reach. There’s only a fool’s hope that anyone who is granted such power would use it to the betterment of society.

that is all I can say.

#thoguhts #Eden of the East #I love this series but it hurts sometimes #restrospect #idle thoughts #anime #dystopic fiction #urban fiction

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jellisdraws · 8 months

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Retrospective - Chapter 1 (Destiny 2 Fanfic)

Enkidu materialized into the still quiet of the early morning. The small ghost in his black and gold shell hovered over the curled form of his guardian as the first fingers of dawn pushed their way across the cloud strewn sky of winter. He bobbed gently in the air, turning to peer again through the narrow window of Mira’s cramped and cluttered hideout within the ruins of the old Tower. His robotic eye blinked, watching the thin strip of sky above the flowing lights and skyscrapers of the Last City. That view had long been filled by the Traveller, a small slice of enigmatic divinity. It had hung there, the being that had breathed life into him as it died, so he could breathe life into her. Now there was just the foreboding gray of the winter clouds, nearly smothering the light of dawn, but not completely.

He returned back down to Mira, gently nestling into the cradle of her body where she curled, breathing deep and evenly in sleep. She looked much the same as the first day they met; her dark hair a touch longer, some new scars peeking from beneath the heavy coat she was sleeping under, but there was the same careworn face cast in dusky blue, a slight frown that even rest could not dispel.

They had spent nine years together, nine years of adventure turned to unending warfare, of existential threats encountered, opposed, defeated. Gods fell beneath her gun, but friends had fallen along the way too, lost opposing the darkness. The Witness. For all that guardians had the capacity to defy fate, they could not deny death. Mira had been dealing death out with an efficacy that appalled even Enkidu at times. She’d been killing since nearly the moment she had been standing reborn as a guardian of the light. There had been danger of course, threats to their safety that required violence to even allow Mira to survive her first days, let alone get back to the City. Thinking back on it as she shifted around him, something clicked against his shell. He didn't have to glance down to know she was sleeping with her sword tucked between her knees. It was a practice that went back to those early days.

He wished he couldn't count the number of nights they had spent hiding from Fallen and Hive trying to escape old Russia, he could practically fill a calendar with them. Back then she would sleep only when he asked her to, and only if he was present keeping watch. He had told her he was always with her- even when she couldn't see him. It was true: he could act as her comms and see and hear through her eyes and ears. But she liked being able to hold him, or have him bump into her; those little reminders she wasn't alone. Mira was quiet, he supposed it came with what made her a good hunter, but in the beginning she had been almost hollow, machine-like. Not that she was an Exo, she just had a sort of cold flatness to her that shook him from time to time. Given her stoicism in the early days, it had taken Enkidu too long to learn that something was wrong. It had taken him too long to realize she was in pain. Enkidu knew his guardian was hurting still . She had been hurting since the day he had awoken her. It was a wound he didn't know how to fix.

Day: 5

Chapter 1: We Two Are One

The fire snapped, a shower of sparks jumping into the air and Mira tensed, pulling her rifle close, half ready to dodge roll out of the bombed out section of a parking garage she was taking shelter in and begin running again. Her gaze was sharp and haunted as she peered into the darkness through the scope of her weapon, silent and as still as possible. The moment passed into a minute, and still she was peering, watching, looking, finger on the trigger.

Enkidu piped up from his place in her hood, “You can relax- I haven’t heard any Fallen comms chatter for days now, and the hive magic readings have dwindled to nearly nothing since this morning. You can rest.”

“Yeah.” she didn’t move, eyes trained through the scope.

“Mira,” Enkidu said, as gently as he could while remaining firm, “please rest. You’ll need it for tomorrow.”

“I know…” she sat back heavily against the rust pitted metal of a broken down old van, the gun pulled across her chest tightly as she huddled down.

“Tell me about it again,” she said, her gaze lost somewhere in the dwindling flames, “Tell me about the Last City. The… Guardians, and their Tower.”

He was happy to do it, his small synthetic voice cutting away at the silence, telling her of the hope that lay ahead. He told her of the Traveler, a silent god that died in the wake of pushing back an all consuming darkness, and whom simultaneously chose to send the ghosts out to humanity with the vestiges of it's light, to kindle that hope that persisted. He told her of the vanguard. He told her of his many years searching for her. The fire burned down and she curled into the trunk space of the van, a tighter space to sleep in. It made her feel secure he supposed.

“Did you always know it would be me?” She said around a yawn.

“Yes and no,” Enkidu returned gently, “I didn’t know you would be you. But I knew that I would resonate with you. I always knew you’d be like no one else.”

“Mm.” He thought he could hear the smile in her voice.

“I searched for you for such a long time… I was worried. I thought… I thought I wouldn’t find you.”

“Mm”

“Mira?”

“Mmhm”

“I’m with you now.”

She groped blindly behind her, fishing the small angular ghost out of her hood as she leaned against the nearly weathered away seat backs, and promptly fell asleep with him tucked to her chest.

“Mira.”

“Mmph...”

She barely felt as though she’d slept before she was jolted awake by Enkidu’s voice. “Mira, wake up! Wake up right-”

An explosion rocked the garage, sending dust and rust sheeting down on her as she scrambled to wakefulness. Enkidu dematerialized, still speaking into her mind,

“Fallen raiding party,” he said, “Probably chasing you. There's not much out here for them to scavenge.” “Probably didn't appreciate the bullet I put into Karrhis’ skull.” she said as she pulled on her helmet, and drew her hood up and gathered her rifle. “I have mapped a possible exit, can you run?”

She nodded. Fallen chatter and scuttling steps were getting closer, fast.

“They're here, Go!” She exploded from her hiding place in the van to the sound of a shrapnel launcher turning the rusted heap of a vehicle into slag. She fired blindly back towards the source of the shots. Heard a gratifying howl as she pierced shields. She sprinted up the collapsed concrete to the top level of the garage, paused to gauge direction. “West, into the trees! Watch for the skiff!” Enkindu urged

She took off, arc bolts flying by her as the Dregs made the roof. She spun, squeezed the trigger twice, two bodies fell in an explosion of ether one after the other. Still others were coming, filing behind cover to take pot shots, she could feel the impacts sizzling in her shields, draining the energy cells. The edge of the rooftop loomed; beyond it, naught but the tops of the pine forest that had overtaken this town; cover, an escape. She lept, and poured solar light into her hands, focusing her fury into the hand-cannon, into bolts of pure concentrated star fire. She illuminated the early morning in a blaze of light, blasting off shot after shot as she spun to face her attackers mid air. They burst into columns of super heated ash, igniting and burning each other away. As the assault party burned into wayward dust, her solar light faded. As she began to fall, she concentrated on landing without breaking an ankle. It would take time until she could gather her light that strongly again, and she couldn't afford to be slowed by anything, least of all-

A glint through the trees. “NO!” yelled Enkidu The bolt from the wire rifle took her through the neck moments before her feet met the ground with bone shattering force. She was dead before her head impacted the ground, yards from where her body lay. But death couldn't stop a Guardian.

Enkidu materialized, and expanded, his shell emanating the restorative light of the Traveler. “I’m with you now,” he said again, “ I'm not letting you go.”

Day 3,321

“You’ve been awfully quiet this morning,”Mira said, glancing up at Enkidu over the dust mask she wore as she repainted her new set of armor. Again. “Something on your mind?” She asked, when he didn't answer right away.

She had taken the morning to tidy her living quarters, dismantling some old weapons and armor into usable components, and had reassembled some of her usual gear into new configurations, testing efficacy, chatting with him about the potential synergies of certain applications of her abilities and the modifications she was testing in her armor. “Not much,” he started, spinning his shell playfully to disguise his low mood. She cocked an eyebrow at him, watching him carefully.

“Just thinking,” he admitted, “ that you've changed.” “Mm?” She glanced at him and sat back, pulling the mask down around her neck and skewing her legs into a tight pretzel, holding her ankles as she looked up at him with faintly glowing golden eyes, “how so?”

Enkidu floated to eye level, and bobbled up and down, separating from his shell slightly- his version of a shrug, “I'm not sure I guess. I was considering it…You're warmer?” “Warmer?” The brow raised again, but her lips quirked too. The shoulders she’d drawn in around her ears relaxed. “I don't know!”

She laughed and gently poked him, “Well tell me when you figure it out, alright?”

“Of course,” He said, floating up as she started shaking paint cans again, eyeing the white and gold chest armor she’d been working on. There it was again, he noticed, as her smile fell and the mask returned to cover her nose and mouth. The tightness around her eyes, something she couldn't shake.

“That's right!” he said. “You figured it out that fast?”

“What- no. Actually, Han and Dusty are back in town,”Enkidu continued, “Ches contacted me. They want to see you.” “No way, really?” She perked up, “It's been ages! Once I finish this we should go find them.”

“You got it, I’ll let them know we’ll see them soon.” He settled into the little nest she had made him on a shelf nearby and watched as she put up her hair, a purposeful gleam in her eyes as she began to paint again.

* * *

“Yo!”

Most of the day had passed by the time Mira had finished reorganizing and crafting her new looks. Still, she chose her familiar red and black armor and cloak and grabbed the rifle that had scarcely left her hands since she’d pulled it from the Egregore aboard the Glykon.

The clouds above the wall had taken on an brilliant orange color, as the light of the setting sun painted them in fiery hue, and Mira sauntered up the stairs past the hanger and rounded the corner into the main plaza and transmat hub. Here, Guardians and ghosts hurried about on errands: interacting with frames, collecting packages from the postmaster or checking Eva’s stock. Rahool was lecturing a gaggle of New Lights on the intricacies of decryption, Banshee was fiddling with Telesto, again. Mira slid past it all like a shadow accented in crimson, head swiveling, until a familiar tinny voice pulled her gaze and she hustled through the crowd toward it. She burst from the throng and lept, laughing, into the arms of a massive Exo clad in highly worn green and orange armor. “Dusty! Holy shit man, I thought you beefed it a long time ago!” She said “I could say the same for you, bird brain,” he laughed, setting her down and tugging at the beak of her helmet’s faceplate, “Still sporting this old thing?”

“ You're the one who said ‘If it ain't broke…,’” her grin was audible through the mask.

A hand clapped her shoulder, and she turned to see the horned helm of Dullahan-12 looming over her, with Chester floating along behind the huge Titan. “Yo!” she said. “Yo,” he said before folding her into a tight hug.

“My… ribs” She gasped in jest but she wrapped her arms round him too and lifted him nearly off his feet.

“It's good to see you, Mira, Kidu,” Dullahan said as she set him down

“You too Han, and I see you back there Ches, You keeping these guys out of trouble?” Mira said, peering past Han’s pauldrons.

“Unsuccessfully, but I soldier on.” came the prim voice of Dullahan’s ghost.

“Keep at it, they may even listen one day.” She laughed, and returned to the two titans, “Well fuck guys, it's been a minute.” “It certainly has,” said Dusty, “Drinks? Rumor out in the wilds is Drifter set up a bar on the HELM?” “You aint seen it? Either of you?”

They shook their heads.

“Been a long time since we were back this way,” Dullahan said. “Then let's go, I’ll cover first round.” She said grabbing

“Aw you're not gonna treat us all night?” Dusty pouted. “I know how much you two can drink, absolutely not.” Mira said, bumping him with her shoulder, or rather bouncing off of his. “We can take my ship.” Han said

“Or mine!” said Dusty

“Dusty, If I never climb into that rust bucket you claim to be a ship again, it will still be too soon.” Han said, “we can take my ship.” “Don't insult the Interceptor like that! I've solved the fuel line problem mostly! It wont blow up again!... Probably.” he said defensively

Mira wheezed, “it’s really been too long.” Soon enough they were racing above the skyline in Dullahan's ship, taking in the view of the Last City as they ascended to orbit and shortly thereafter docked with the HELM. They soon found themselves around one end of the bar set up, chatting in the blue light of the aquarium dominating the chamber as Mira pointed out which fish she had caught to add to the collection. There was a gentle buzz of commotion here, Guardians, Awoken, Eliksni and Cabal all stationed on the HELM used this place to unwind, or access the portal to Titan — Though with Ahsa safe and in an extended recovery period, there had been little reason to dive into the methane seas other than for patrols or to study Oryx’s corpse.

“Sounds like a lot has been going on,” Dullahan said, adjusting the umbrella in his glass before sipping through the straw.

“It has been, it just doesn't stop. There's always some new fuckhead that's lived for eons beyond eons I need to put a bullet into! And they’re chipping away at us. I don't know. Things came… too close on Neomuna.” She scrubbed the back of her head and tipped her drink into her mouth. Letting the ice clink against her teeth as she drained a gin and tonic, she emancipated a small chip of ice to chew between her molars contemplatively, before sighing and returning her glass to the coaster on the bar, making sure she placed it precisely back on the ring of condensation left there already.

“ It feels like I used to have a better grasp of who our enemies were.” She continued.

“Alien. Monstrous. Not… people. Not like us. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we’ve found commonality with them, we need allies and it's important to know some enemies can become friends,” Dusty said, gaze drifting to where a small gaggle of Eliksni had dragged Crow through the door and were encouraging him to sit and relax for a moment - a nigh impossible task, “Some of them are even good friends! But I can't deny it makes the battle lines a whole lot messier.”

“Yeah. I mean, remember the days of delving into the Hellmouth? The Pit? I mean it was scary as shit then but it was exciting? And looking back at it, those days of exploring, of seeking new weapons and armor, even heading back to Europa to find where you both came from - that was the first time I really took joy in being a Guardian- and we were disobeying the Vanguard’s directives! I don't know… everything feels different now and the same all at once. And Im-” She caught herself.

“You’re…?”Han prompted

She shook her head, and turned to wave down the Frame tending the bar for a refill. Dusty raised a metallic brow at Han, who shrugged.

“It feels like we’re coming to the end…” She said quietly, more to her glass than either of her companions, “and I'm not sure if we’ll survive what the Witness has planned- but if we do… I’m not sure what I’ll be afterwards. On Neomuna I, well…” The words dried up.

The two of them hadn't talked about it; she didn't know if he knew, or if he would forgive her.

Sacrifice. Sacrifice was part of being a Guardian. Sacrifice meant accepting pain and loss so others did not have to. She had always been okay with that, until the sacrifice was no longer hers to make. She could have stopped the Witness from reaching the Veil, stopped it from breaching the Traveler, albeit temporarily. She would have slowed it down, held it back. Given the Coalition more time to mount a defense. And all she had had to do was kill Enkidu as the Witness piloted him towards the Veil.

The rifle had been in her hands before she knew it, her ghost in her sights. It would be simple to squeeze the trigger. So simple to end the life of her closest friend, her other half, her grace, her soul. The Witness dragged Enkidu higher and higher into the Veil, connected to the Traveler, and she- she couldn't shoot, couldn't speak, couldn't call him back to her.

It was Nimbus who dragged her ghost away, with the same dramatic flair they brought to life. And when he bobbed back into the air, safe and himself, Enkidu looked to her and the gun in her hands burned like sin. She’d looked away, unable to face him, and made the call to Zavala. They’d lost.

Mira didn't know what to say to her ghost. She’d felt him there, watching her quietly for weeks now. She knew he was hurting. She knew it was her fault. She had created a rift between them, and it was something she didn't know how to fix.

#destiny the game #destiny 2 #destiny oc #destiny guardians #oc #my writing #fanfic #Restrospective #awhellstothejoe #joe writes #scifi #messing with canon #destiny fanfiction #destiny 2 fanfiction #d2 #d2 fanfic

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