#rex has ocs and they exist | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clonemedickix · 8 months

Text

Rating: E

Word count: 5.7K

Pairing: Captain Rex x OC General Lara Lin x Arc Trooper Fives

Warnings: clone SMUT - Under 18 DNI, foreplay and banter, P in V sex, P in A sex, threesome, oral sex NOT SAFE FOR COSTCO

Excerpt Summary - Lara has a very interesting dream one day…

If you’d like to receive tags for new fic posts, click here.

If you’d like to read more on AO3, click here and here

See Master list for individual chapters

@anxiouspineapple99 @blueink-bluesoul @523rdrebel @mandos-mind-trick @jediknightjana @moonlightwarriorqueen @wizardofrozz @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @dystopicjumpsuit @villanousace

Lara was sitting on her hill, peacefully watching the gulls skim over the waves fishing for their dinner. It was a perfect day. The weather was a pleasant temperature, not too humid, with a seaward breeze that came from behind over the land and made the air feel more crisp and clean. She took a deep breath and sighed, lying back on the grass in pure enjoyment. Nobody was looking for her at the moment, she had no jobs outstanding, Rex wasn’t due in for a few more hours from his latest mission. She could just lay here and peacefully exist, watching the waves and sea birds. It didn’t take long for her to dose off, the lulling sound of the ocean dragging her down to sleep beneath the dull roar of the waves.

She dreamed she was back home on Earth. Walking up the stairs to her bedroom, she sensed someone was there in her house, and she was curious who would be waiting for her in her own room. Stepping over the threshold, she spotted the familiar form of Fives. Her heart swelled to see him again; she’d missed him so very much since his death. He was standing in his blacks, no armor in sight, and Lara took a moment to appreciate the smooth, broad shoulders stacked with muscle, the strong back tapering to his rather narrow waist, to the beautifully rounded, firm buttocks. His thick, strong thighs made her fingers tingle at the thought of gliding over their hard surfaces, feeling the edges of the defined muscles beneath the springy hair of his legs.

Fives turned at her approach, smiling lovingly to see her there. He reached out his hands to pull Lara to him, crushing her to his chest in a tight hug. The smell of him; Lara took a deep breath in appreciation of his warm scent. He still smelled like Dr Squatch’s pine tar; it only added to his rugged charm. Fives buried his face in Lara’s neck, taking in the smell of her conditioner that was so singularly hers. It had been a spicy, flowery note to her aura that had always announced her presence; the scent would linger in the room like a ghost when she left, and Fives would always know she’d been there. It was a comforting detail to the clone.

Lara nuzzled her face into the crook of Fives’ neck, her arms around him tightly. “I’ve missed you so much Fives. Every day. Everything about you.” He pulled back a bit so he could look into her eyes.

“Everything?” Fives gave her his little rakish smirk that always made her laugh.

Lara laughed. “Every. Single. Thing.” She stared back into his deep brown eyes, a rising feeling of challenge and need starting to burn within her. Could he sense it?

Fives studied her quietly, the smile never leaving his lips. “I think I could do a little something about your missing me, if you wanted,” he said with a low murmur near her ear.

Lara’s eyes sharpened with focus, desire shining brightly in her luminous blue irises. “Could you?,” she breathed softly.

Fives leaned in and pressed his lips to hers gently, feeling the softness of her mouth, reminding himself of the feel of her after so long. He started to press a little harder, feeling her mouth open to him, her own pressure increasing as she pressed her body more tightly to his. Fives lightly brushed the tip of his tongue over her top lip, a tentative ask, to which Lara responded by meeting his tongue with hers fully. Their kiss suddenly leapt over the edge of gentle to passionate and eager like a brumby leaping over the edge of a cliff to gallop down a mountain. The two were clutching at each other like they had an appointment with the gallows, trying to make every second touching count.

Fives broke away from kissing Lara’s mouth to make a trail of kisses to her jawline, then down her neck. He felt her back arch at the sensation, and she dug her fingertips into the muscles of his back, her gasps almost a wheeze of overstimulation. Fives started to guide her back toward her bed, carefully paying attention that she didn’t trip in the blind walk - her eyes were closed and she was clinging to him like a life rope. At the edge of the large bed, he paused, his hands roaming the curves of her body, then digging into her mass of heavy curls, while she did the same - reacquainting themselves with the planes and curves of each other, both about to start tearing the restraining clothes off the other.

“What… um… what are you two up to here?” A voice spoke from the doorway, causing both Fives and Lara to have small coronaries. Fives was already a ghost; Lara was pretty sure she felt her soul leave her body for a brief moment at the sound of Rex’s voice behind her. Turning to face him, a little shamefacedly, she was about to speak, when Fives beat her to it.

“Lara was taking me to church, Rex. Just a little daily worship of my goddess. Don’t you feel the need to kneel and pray to her?” His tone was half joking, but his eyes snapped with something of desire and eagerness. Lara looked between them surprised - was Fives making a veiled suggestion like she thought he was?

Rex studied them for a moment, and then quietly walked over to the pair. He stepped up behind Lara and pressed himself closely to her, leaning in to kiss her cheek and then her neck. Looking up into her wide blue eyes, filled with shock and curiosity, he smiled a little cheekily and said, “I love kneeling before my goddess.” Rex sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Lara into his lap. Lara looked up at Fives with truly amazed, wide eyes - a situation of this nature had not arisen in her life in thousands of years. She’d never seen it coming from her clones. Rex reached forward and untucked the hem of her shirt, running his hands up beneath it to cup her breasts. Fives reached down and grasped the edge of the garment and lifted it over her head, dropping it to the floor beside him. He pulled his own shirt off as well, revealing his beautifully muscled torso.

Rex unclasped Lara’s bra and let it fall to the floor, his hands returning to form a shelf for her soft, full breasts. Fives leaned down and kissed a trail along her collarbones, then down to the top of her breasts, then gently took her right nipple into his mouth, sucking it lightly, grazing it with the edge of his teeth carefully. Lara moaned at the sensation. She had a moment of panic, unsure what to do with her hands. Reaching back she ran her hands over Rex’s hardening bulge; he widened his legs a bit to give her access, and she massaged his balls lightly through his pants. Leaning her head back on his shoulder, Fives suddenly stood a bit and dove into kissing and sucking on her neck and shoulders, dragging a groan from Lara and a shiver of need. He pulled Lara up to stand for a moment, so Rex could work her tights down over her hips, burying his face in the top of her backside for a moment, kissing her and running a hand over her abdomen sensually. Lara kicked off her shoes and the pants quickly, and Fives reached behind her to pull the blankets and sheets down on the bed. Directing her gently, he pushed Lara to lay back on the bed, shucking his own pants and briefs off, freeing his hard cock from its confinement.

Rex stood quickly and pulled his shirt over his head, watching Lara as he did so, wanting to see her appreciation of his body as he revealed it. Her eyes were fixed on him, watching him hungrily. He undid his belt purposefully, slowly, almost in a teasing manner, then worked to unbutton the fly of his BDUs, one button at a time. Kicking his boots off next, he slowly worked his pants down over his hips, his hard cock popping free of his briefs, a testament to how badly he wanted her. Rex crawled onto the bed and made his way to sit behind her, while Fives laid down next to Lara. Fives pulled her onto his lap, clear of his shaft, pulling her down for a kiss. Her hair drifted around his face, surrounding him in the scent of cedar wood and orange, spice and flowers.

Lara felt Rex place his hands on her hips, pulling at her lightly to get her to raise them up, spreading her in front of him deliciously. Fives gently pushed her back, seeing understanding light her eyes. Lara leaned down and licked the tip of Fives’ hard cock, then took the spongy head into her mouth, gently sucking at it and hearing him moan. Before she could do more though, she felt Rex’s warm breath mist over her sex from behind, just as he ghosted the tip of his tongue over her swollen nub, nipping at it lightly and then pulling it in for a soft suck.

Lara’s eyes flew open and she couldn’t stop the primal groan from rolling out of her. Fives laughed lightly, seeing her face, meeting her eyes with his own darkly dilated. Lara raised her head a little, feeling Rex’s caresses behind her, sighed deeply and then leaned back down to take Fives in her mouth again, this time curling her tongue around his shaft, working him deeper with a careful bob. It was almost too overwhelming to do this, with Rex behind her, and Fives before her; she was afraid Rex would do something that would distract her from being careful. She felt him run his tongue over her folds, then felt him enter her as deeply as he could get himself with his hot tongue, and she moaned again as she worked to give Fives the attention he needed. She pulled at him with alternating light and deeper suction, working her hand at the base of his shaft and to massage his balls. She curled her tongue around his head lovingly and could taste his salty slick in her mouth, as he panted beneath her, working to hold himself back.

Rex moved back to suckling Lara’s sensitive, swollen clit, inserting a finger carefully into her warm, dripping wet pussy. He reached for the slightly rough, spongy nub within her that he knew was the center of her most sensitive nerve bundle, and pressed and rubbed against it carefully, applying gentle and then firmer pressure, feeling her body clench around him greedily. She was so wet and ready, he struggled to have patience. He heard Fives’ moan and knew he was getting close as well, and pulling away from her sex, Rex leaned over her back and asked huskily, “Can you take us both?”

Lara was breathing heavily, her eyes dark with arousal, the smell of both these men filling the room sharp as the tang of something burning. And really, all three of them were on fire, needing release. She nodded a little jerkily, somewhat off balance from her lust and excitement. Rex knew how she would want them without asking. He lay down on his back next to her, reaching for her with soft hands, as she straddled his lap. Fives moved to kneel behind her, his hands on her waist, gently holding her and waiting for her signal.

Rex gasped like a man burned when Lara eased his cock into her slick pussy, taking him all the way in one slow motion, like sheathing a sword. She leaned down and kissed his mouth deeply, their tongues sliding over each other in a slow ballet. She felt Fives pressing against her from behind, and she held her kiss with Rex as she felt Fives gently insert one finger to stretch her, then another, waiting until the muscles relaxed, before withdrawing. He raised her butt a little, pressing the tip of his cock against her tight opening, then slowly, carefully entered her, purring deeply as he felt the tightness of her with Rex inside her as well. Lara moaned deeply, the erotic sensation of the two of them inside of her nearly sending her over the edge, and she felt Rex squeeze her shoulders to steady her. “Not yet, hang on,” he said softly.

The two men started to move in tandem, alternating slow, gentle thrusts. Fives leaned forward some and cupped her breasts, running the tips of his fingers over the nipples and feeling their hard edges snap back in passing. He held them up slightly, seeing Rex lean up to take one in his mouth, suckling her, pulling at her steadily and hard. Lara bucked slightly, thrusting Rex more deeply into her center, feeling the stretch of both men inside of her, filling her up to an impossible degree. Over her shoulder, Fives made eye contact with Rex - he couldn’t hold on much longer.

Fives thrust into her gently but firmly, feeling the tightness of her squeeze and the sensation of Rex’s cock slide past his, divided only by the thin walls of Lara’s body. His fingers dug into her hips, and he closed his eyes tightly, taking a deep steadying breath. Rex looked up at Lara and stared deeply into her eyes - she pitched forward to kiss him, passionately, sucking on his bottom lip and even raking it with her teeth. Rex kissed her back, hard, feeling his own climax rising. He squeezed her shoulders and then reached one hand back to her butt and another he placed over her breast, kneading the soft flesh there, feeling her take her in deeply even as Fives drew back and thrust in. The friction finally sent Rex over the edge and he gasped, kissing her deeply and groaning as he spilled himself inside of her, the spasms driving Fives to his own orgasm as well. As they both came inside of her, the feel of their cocks spurting within her sent Lara into orbit. Her climax hit like a tsunami, rocking through her so that she suddenly thrust down on Rex, crying out as she bottomed him out within her, squeezing him of every last drop of his cum. She felt Fives holding on to her to support her from behind; he didn’t want her to hurt herself in the grip of her orgasm, so he rode with her, hearing her cries and feeling the contractions of her body around him. He coudln’t help himself, he leaned over Lara’s back as she shivered and moaned. Leaning down, Fives placed gentle kisses on her shoulder, carefully withdrawing from her, as she in turn kissed Rex slowly, lovingly. The aftershocks of her orgasm still squeezed Rex’s cock within her, and he reveled in the feel of her tightening on him, his seed starting to drip around him, making her even wetter than before.

“I could keep going, my goddess. Do you want me to keep fucking you?” His voice was rough and scratchy after crying out with his climax. He was so turned on by her, so in love that he coudln’t believe he was still hard, not even feeling the effects of having come once. Lara nodded drowsily. Rex rolled her onto her back and moved to stand beside the beside the bed, pulling her towards him and raising her ankles to his shoulders. He thrust into her smoothly and firmly, as Fives moved to be closer to her head from behind. As Rex thrust into her, Fives leaned over and kissed Lara deeply, his hand reaching over to caress her breasts, flicking the nipples gently, then wandering softly down to her swollen, sensitive clit. Lara moaned deeply, feeling him make gently soft circles around it as Rex fucked her, his thighs slapping against hers. There was no noise she could identify other than a rushing of blood in her ears, the assertive smack of Rex’s flesh against hers, and Fives’ soft breath near her ear.

She felt the wave of her climax approaching again, as Fives leaned over to suckle her breast, alternating between her nipple and her mouth. He gave her his tongue, running it over her hard palate, exploring her, tasting her, gently taking her bottom lip and pulling at it. Meanwhile he kept up the pressure on her nub, circling and applying pressure, feeling her muscles starting to tighten up for her finale. Rex started to thrust harder, pushing himself as deeply as he could get, feeling her walls start to close in around him again, and he saw Lara suddenly arch her back and let out a choked scream. Her tight pussy suddenly clamped down on him in rhythmic spasms and Rex lost himself in her, spilling over into her depths again, even as her contractions squeezed at him, massaging his cock deliciously. He moved within her for a few more moments, more lazily, wanting to savor the feel of her aftershocks and warmth. Finally, not wanting to overstimulate her, he leaned down and kissed her mouth softly.

“That was so good, my love. You did so good for me and Fives.” Lara heard Fives murmur agreement next to her, as he softly caressed her belly with his hand.

“I think we owe her a nice shower, don’t we, Rex?” Fives asked quietly.

Rex smiled down into her eyes, answering, “Of course we do.” He stood up, watching Fives dismount the bed and head to the bathroom to get the water on and warming. Rex leaned down and scooped Lara up into his arms, carrying her gently to the bathroom. Once he stepped into the large shower, he set her on her feet carefully, making sure she didn’t slip. Fives stepped into the shower with them, picking up her loofah and dropping some of her soap on it. The scent of lavender and vanilla swirled with the steam of the large tiled stall, and Fives moved to stand behind Lara, while Rex took some soap on his hand and started to rub it onto the soft skin of her front, still supporting her with one hand around her waist. Lara relaxed into his grasp, feeling them tenderly lather her , gently washing her body. They cleaned up all evidence of their lovemaking, while planting soft kisses on her wet skin, making her tingle with the sensation of their touch.

Rex ran his hands over her curves again, relishing the feel of the planes of her bones beneath the muscle. His fingers trailed down her abs to her mound, gently cupping it and applying pressure to her there, feeling her sigh in contentment and want. His fingers advanced gently, and he slipped one inside of her, feeling her spread her legs a bit to give him room, as Fives leaned down and kissed her neck and shoulders, tracing back up to kiss beneath her ear. He gently took her lobe into his mouth, biting it lightly and hearing her gasp. Lara felt her legs weaken a bit at the feel of Rex’s fingers applying pressure to her G spot firmly, almost tapping it or dragging softly across it, eliciting a groan from her lips. Fives turned her head to himself and kissed her mouth as Rex leaned forward to kiss her neck and shoulder, the pressure of his fingers getting more insistent, the palm of his hand pressing against her clit in just the right amount. Rex’s kisses trailed down to her breast, his left hand cupping her right, raising it so he could take the nipple into his mouth. He licked it, flicking it with the tip of his tongue, lapping at it slowly and then sucking at it slowly.

His fingers dove into her more insistently, and he knew he was on the right track as Lara’s ability to stand started to waver. Fives grasped her at the waist, helping to support her and hold her up so that Rex could continue his ministration, even as Fives worked to kiss and bite her on the neck, raking his teeth over the sensitive skin. Suddenly Lara fell off the edge, her orgasm rocketing through her body like an earthquake. Shaking, Fives took her weight and held her, as her body spasmed around Rex’s finders, and she cried out, tears dropping from her eyes at the intensity.

Rex looked deep into her eyes and said, his voice deep and sultry, “Did you like that, my goddess? Coming on my fingers? Feeling me fuck you like that?” Lara opened her eyes to gaze into his, the liquid brown pools shot through with golden flecks that always mesmerized her. She nodded languidly, still coming down from her high, resting in Fives’ arms. “What do you want us to do now, General? How else can we show you we worship you?” He saw her look change to something of exhausted defiance for a moment - his question struck her as slightly demanding, but damn they were making her feel so good. Seeing her hesitation and fight, Rex said a little more sternly, “Come on goddess, use your words. Tell us what you want me and Fives to do to your body.”

Taking a deep breath, Lara stood with Fives’ help and steadied herself. “I want to sit on Fives’ lap while you take me from behind, Rex. I want you to fill me up again, until I scream or cry or both, and we can’t function after.” She felt Fives laugh softly, his breath ghosting next to her cheek.

“You’re gonna let me in that tight pussy this time?,” he asked her, turning her head so he could get to her mouth. Fives kissed her slowly, a simmering lust on the edge of their action.

When he released her she breathed, “Yes. I want you to in my pussy, Fives. Who knows when I’ll see you again, get to touch you again? I want to make this last.”

Fives glanced over her shoulder at Rex and nodded. Reaching back he turned off the water of the shower and Rex stepped outside to grab towels. They dried Lara off carefully, gently, wrapping her up in its soft fluffy length, then both hurriedly dried themselves. Fives stepped over to her and swept her up in his arms, carrying her back to the bed still wrapped in her towel. He sat on the edge of the bed and scooted back to lean back against the pillows and headboard, pulling Lara onto his lap. She straddled his hips carefully, leaning forward to kiss his mouth softly at first, then more deeply. Fives opened his mouth under hers, his tongue searching for her own. They glided over each other, making out heatedly, her hands around his neck, her fingers spreading out to cruise through his short, thick hair.

She felt Rex settle on the bed behind her, on his knees. He leaned forward and kissed her shoulder, her neck, alternating soft sucks and little grazing bites with his incisors. At one point he nipped her a little harder, as if to get her attention, and she straightened, turning her head to kiss him, leaning back into his chest as Fives reached forward and undid her towel, pulling it off of her and letting it pool on the bed next to them. Lara could feel Fives’ cock hardening beneath her, and when Rex pressed himself against her back, she felt the tip of his own shaft stab into her, letting her know he was ready as well. Reaching below her with her right hand, she grasped Fives’ hard cock and rubbed the tip along her wet, hot cleft, seeing his eyes close in bliss at the sensation. She adjusted her seat and slid him home, hearing his moaning sigh at her tight squeeze, taking him deeply within.

Behind her she felt Rex press the tip of his cock against her other opening, letting it gently stretch the muscle there, waiting for her to relax, then slowly thrusting himself into her. She was so tight, he wanted to lose himself immediately, riding her until she bucked and he came in something near an explosion, but instead he took a deep, calming breath and rested his forehead against her shoulder. They all took a moment to get used to the feel of each other, breathing quietly simply together for a moment.

Lara looked into Fives’ eyes and nodded, feeling him slowly start to move within her, working in tandem with Rex. Again, the push/pull of them inside of her, their cocks brushing each other with only the thin wall of her vagina to separate their actions stirred the men to their climaxes quickly. Rex reached around Lara’s body to gently stimulate her clit, moving in small circles and giving pressure as he knew she liked. Fives held her body to himself closely, watching her face as they fucked her gently, lovingly. They wanted to give her pleasure, they wanted to worship her with their bodies. She was their goddess, the love of their lives, and they would do anything for her. Fives could tell she was getting close as she started to draw deeper pulls of air, started to arch her back into Rex. Rex wrapped his arms around her as she rested her head back into the crook of his shoulder, relishing the feel of them filling her up with their cocks. Fives leaned forward to caress her breasts, again suckling at her deliciously and tasting the salt of her skin, the residual of her soap on his tongue. He started to thrust a little harder, wanting to get as deeply in her as he could, hearing her moan as her finish came ever nearer.

Rex was being gentle from behind. He could see Fives’ eagerness to fuck Lara, to pound her a little from below, and he didn’t want to turn their pleasure into pain for her. So he kept a slow and steady movement, feeling her body squeeze around him, glorying in the feel of her smooth skin, the curve of her hips. His finger still made small circles on her swollen, tight clit, and he felt it start to spasm the tiniest bit, knowing she was about to finish. Looking at Fives he said, “Now Fives, cum in her now. Give it to her.”

Lara’s eyes opened like a cat’s eyes, small slits of pleasure that showed the glowing blue beneath. As she saw Fives let go, releasing himself within her, she felt her own orgasm hit her as Rex continued to stimulate her nub. Even as her climax hit and she bucked, Rex held her, kept his fingertip over her, applying pressure in a button pressing fashion, feeling her lose control as the contractions rolled through her. She pitched forward into Fives’ arms as Rex began to finish himself, thrusting into her harder now that Fives was done, the last vestiges of her orgasm vibrating against his cock in her ass. With one final thrust, Rex came, spurting thick, hot ropes of cum inside of her, feeling his own delicious spasms squeeze the last of his white gold into her. Rex bent over, placing kisses on her shoulder, then pulled out, laying beside her on the bed. Reaching over he pulled Lara off of Fives’ lap and snugged her body to his, while Fives took the damp towel and gently placed it between her legs to keep her clean from their endeavors. He lay on his side to face her, both men snuggling into her body, sated, feeling safe and at home with the goddess. Lara felt herself drifting off to sleep, secure in their arms, a pleasant fullness in her body, satisfied and tired.

Lara woke with a start, her eyes a little confused and wild wondering where the hell she was. The sun was bright over her head and she covered her eyes with her forearm quickly to give herself shade. A shadow stepped into the bright light of the sun; when her retinas recovered from their shock at the blinding light, she was able to focus on Rex. He wore a very bemused expression, his eyebrows raised and his eyes full of question.

“What uh… whatcha been doing up here, Lara?,” he asked carefully.

“Pretty sure I was sleeping,” she said a little evasively.

“And do you feel rested, after that ‘sleep’ you just had?” Rex quirked one eyebrow up and studied her with a mischievous little smirk.

Lara looked at him gaugingly for a moment. “Okay what was I doing?” She was waiting for the shoe to drop now. Had she been up here writhing and moaning? How embarrassed should she be. Who might have seen her? Oh god. Who might have seen her? Her face took on a comically horrified expression as the questions started to tumble around in her brain. “Please god tell me whatever I did, only you saw.”

Rex laughed softly and looked up, glancing back down the hill toward the town. “Far as I know, nobody saw you. But you were up here moaning a bit, and I distinctly heard you call both Fives and my name. So again I ask - what have you been up to in that mind of yours?” He knew in her pregnant state she often got quite demanding about her needs, but she’d never done this before. He was very curious what had been going on in her head.

Lara sat up, as Rex crouched down next to her, watching her patiently. He could see the wheels turning behind her eyes as she groped with the lingering heat of the dream, while she tried to come up with words that might explain herself to him. “It’s a good thing for you Fives isn’t here.”

“Because?,” he said slowly.

“Because in my debauched state, I may have enticed the two of you to take me together …” Rex’s eyebrows shot toward the sky. “… More than once.” His mouth opened a little in shock. Intrigued shock.

Rex sat back a bit on his haunches, grappling with that mental image. “So what you’re saying is, I shared you with Fives?” He had the most interesting smile playing at the corner of his mouth, like he wasn’t sure if he liked the idea, or simply didn’t know what to do.

Lara cleared her throat, feeling a dull creeping flood of embarrassment hit her. She knew she was blushing, and she brought her hands up to her face for a moment to hide her errant grin and giggles. Rex was old fashioned; she doubted she ever had to worry about him sharing her in the bedroom with anyone in this life. But she could tell the mental images of her dream intrigued him, quite against his will. “Um, yes, Rex, that’s what I’m saying. As I said it’s a good thing Fives isn’t here.”

Rex watched her face for another moment then stood and reached a hand down for her. Lara took the help and stood, falling into his arms when he pulled her to his body, wrapping his arms around her waist tightly. Rex murmured into her ear, “I guess I could always go see what Primer was doing…”

Lara gasped, scandalized and smacked his arm in surprise. “You would not!”

Rex laughed, surprised at her vehement reaction. “I could call Echo, I guess, too - at least he would remember what you liked… But Primer definitely has wanted into the club, you know.” Laughing. He was laughing behind his eyes, and was barely keeping in a real fit of chuckles. Lara knew he was joking - the man would never share her in real life at the same time as another. He wanted her all to himself when they were alone. But he was entertained by her embarrassment at the moment and was really digging the hooks in. “Hang on I have my comm here, let me just get Primer called up.”

Lara turned on her heel to stomp off. Over her shoulder he heard her words float back, “Do that Rex, and I’ll fuck him and make you sit there and watch.”

“Ooohhh, exhibitionist now are we? What if I like that idea?!” He saw two snapping bright blue eyes flash back at him as her pace got more choppy and angry. He laughed out loud at that point. Running to catch up to her, Rex grabbed her by the shoulders and turned to trot backwards for a couple of steps until she stopped. He quickly took the chance to kiss her, passionately, snogging her thoroughly for a moment, before pulling away and smiling into her eyes. “I can’t provide Fives for you, Lara, but I can do my best to remind you of how much I love you, if you’ll give me a chance.” He saw her expression soften, and added, “But if you call me Fives I’m gonna be forced to bend you over my knee and smack that butt of yours.”

Lara’s face broke up into a laugh, and she let Rex hug her to his chest. She kissed him back, feeling her desire for him rise, knowing the dream might never be a reality, but Rex was real and present and here, willing to give her everything he had for a moment of shared bliss. She ran her hands over his tight butt cheeks, grasping them and pulling his body to hers tightly, feeling the slight bulge of his hardening cock against her. As a last gesture, she ran her hand over his package, grasping his length firmly and handling his balls like a soft coin purse. He moaned softly in the back of his throat, his kiss deepening dreamily. Lara pulled away, and he could almost see the snarky reply before it formed and bubbled to the surface. “Okay. I’ll call you Primer.” She gave him a wink moved briskly past his body and reached back a firm smack on his ass, then broke into a sprint, laughing as she ran from him like a thoroughbred from the gate.

She heard Rex’s bemused, half laughing yell from behind her, “You’re so gonna get it, Lara! I know where you live!!!”

#worksbyclonemedickix #clone smut #clone thirsting #the clone wars #star wars #starwars fandom #starwars the clone wars #the clone wars fan #the clone wars fanfiction #captain rex #arc trooper fives #original female character #OC General Lara Lin #clone wars fan fiction #the clone wars smut #the clone wars fic #the clone wars fan fiction #my fic #my fanfiction

33 notes · View notes

just-prime · 8 months

Text

Why does Ahsoka care?

That's the question that I keep coming back to. Why does she care about Thrawn? Why is she afraid of him? I mean, she clearly is, and it makes no sense. Ahsoka never interacted with him. She was off being Schrödinger's OC before Filoni invented time travel to save her.

So why does she care enough to hunt down Morgan Elsbeth in the first place???

Now we follow this up, with a sentiment that I know I am not alone on...

Why would Thrawn care?

There's no reason he would. He's had six books of character development since his appearance in Rebels, all of which point towards him wanting to go home, to his people, and his boyfriend. The man was actively committing treason against the Empire left and right by the end, and was probably on his way to getting executed by Palps had he not been purrgil-ed, so I ask again? Why is everyone so convinced that he is the "heir to the empire" other than the fact that Filoni is dragging everyone out of their previous characterizations to set the pieces in place for his HTTE fan film. Filoni doesn't care about the canon Thrawn, just like he doesn't care about keeping continuities consistant between his other recent shows. As seen by the fact that he's introducing a bunch of Thrawn allies who've never shown up before in any medium, and therefore feel rather hallow.

So why should we care?

I mean, I'm watching so my friends don't have to...So that my friends don't have to witness Sabine's helmet fly off like it's three sizes too big...So my friends are not subjected to Marrok's death where he explodes into green screaming gas (which makes me fear the "Thrawn has a nightsister magic corpse army" rumor is more than a rumor)...So that my friends aren't dealing with plastic de-aged Anakin showing up in the world between worlds...

And honestly, I think we should care. We should care about consistency, and continuity, and not just letting Filoni run wild now that he has the keys to the castle. We should care about the fact that characters we love are being butchered, be it Ahsoka, Sabine, Hera, or inevitably Thrawn.

If this continues to be the precedent, which I would argue it has been since TBoBF and Kenobi, then none of these characters are ever going to act the same across the universe of shows. It will become the norm that every time someone shows up, they will be new, or they will look different because Disney is apparently skimping on practical effects, or they're mere existence will be anachronistic. All because Dave Filoni thought it would be cool.

Also the obligatory...

Where the fuck is Zeb? Where the fuck is Kallus? Where the fuck is Rex? If Hera is going rogue against orders to SAVE EZRA, why is the only backup she's bringing her 7? (6? I can't do math, I am too angry) year old son???? I get being too chickenshit to bring the Skywalker twins into this or apparently even mentioning Kanan, even if I resent it, but YOU PEOPLE BUILD A MODEL FOR ZEB. YOU SHOWED IF OFF IN MANDALORIAN. WHY HAS HE NOT BEEN HERE FROM DAY ONE?

#ahsoka critical #dave filoni critical #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka series #rambles #star wars #where the fuck is everbody?#anti filoni

28 notes · View notes

66sharkteeth · 8 months

Note

You might not be able to answer this without going into spoiler territory, but has the story or characters of City of Blank changed in any major or minor way since you started writing it? You obviously know how the story will end, but I'm just curious to know if you've stuck to your initial vision 100% from beginning to end, or if anything has influenced you to change certain things? If you have, it might be interesting to see a "What Could Have Been" section once the story has concluded.

The original plot is 100% and it's still ending exactly where I always originally planned, but we did end up taking a lot of different roads than the comic I wrote out in like...high school.

Things got rearranged, new characters got added (Christoph wasn't even thought of until around the end of s2), some characters were taken off the chopping block while others were added (obviously can't say who).

It also definitely got way more uh...personal? To me, and like not in a "these OCs are my babies" way I mean in...I started to use it a lot more as an outlet to get out some deep rooted feelings that came out the past few years. In addition to Rex's anxiety and depression that I...started to be able to write from much more firsthand experience lol, the past 5 years or so have brought out the worst in so many people and it really hurt to see how much a huge chunk of our world hates people like me and my friends just for wanting to exist. Rex was always going to be written to have a struggle between balancing his human and blank half, but in high school, it was much more of a like...just fun anime, kingdom hearts-ish type struggle haha. But as the years went on and I started to question my own identity and saw the struggles of certain groups in a system that actively just doesn't want them to exist...the themes in CoB became a LOT more than just haha fun anime blank monsters go brrr (I won't specify which groups to be clear, because I know many relate to it, but I do write it from my own perspective)

Episode 114 really says it all. That's my favorite episode in the entire series and probably will be even by the time it finishes. It's definitely the piece of media I've ever poured my entire heart into and just reading through the comments, I can tell a lot of people got exactly what I was saying in it.

Tbh, I kind of feel like that's a big part of what's missing in season 1 and why I kind of hate it? Because back then, it absolutely was written to just be fun anime adventure with no deeper meaning. I even remember telling people way back when "nah there's no deeper meaning." Which...it's fine for those exist to be clear... but I do think it's a key ingredient that I didn't start to sprinkle in until around s2 and fully include until s3.

So uhhh yeah. TLDR: Certain characters would be dead, plot points would have been different and probably equated to worse pacing, and it would have been a lot more probably lighthearted like s1 without ever getting into many deeper topics.

#city of blank

21 notes · View notes

mamuzzy-creates-stuff · 4 months

Text

"Go and raise hell" - Alpha-17 to Deadshot on his ARC graduation The ARC Trooper with armor clean as if he was a shiny, but his face is weary from battle scars, wrinkles screaming about years of experience, and there was certain sadness in his eyes only those had who faced the horrors of war before… only Deadshot didn't remember any of it. All he needed to know that he suffered amnesia due to an explosion and no one came for him after his rehabilitation. That's how he ended up the 501st after Alpha-17's ARC training program. All Deadshot knew that whatever the fucking galaxy is about throw at him, he will ENDURE. ENDURE. ENDURE. It's his mantra, sometimes whispered in his dreams, whispered when injured, whispered when Rex avert his eyes. Be strong and endure because if you fall behind once again, no one will be there to help you get on your feet. Endure and survive.

He is my everything. My precious babyboy. My miserable meowmeow. My emotional punchbag. If you have questions about this pretty little blorbo, don't hesitate to ask! He will try to answer as best as he can...

MASTERLIST TO DEADSHOT RELATED POSTS

「501 shenanigans」 [ART]

「Deadshot gets the love he deserves」 [ART]

03/08/2023 | OC: Deadshot | Sketchbook | He is a miserable blushy mess |

「Comfort a character: Deadshot」 [ART]

「Shattered」 [ART]

「Fives x Shots」 [ART]

CLONESHIP 23/10/2023 | OC: Deadshot, ARC Trooper Fives | They are in love, you honour |

「Mlem.」 [COMIC]

09/11/2023| OC: Deadshot, Clone Trooper Hardcase, Clone Trooper Tup, Clone Trooper Dogma, ARC Trooper Fives, ARC Trooper Jesse | Torrent barrack shenanigans | Boys being boys | Hardcase is a kind of friend who randomly licks your face |

「Stargazing」 [ART]

12/11/2023| OC: Deadshot | Deadshot loves watching the stars | Space art thingy |

「I've got a birthday gift from Corey!」 [ART]

「The captain isn’t entirely satisfied with the new ARC trooper」 [Comic]

「Deadshot has one of those days」 [ART]

12/12/2023| OC: Deadshot, Clone Trooper Tup | Sketchbook | Breaking down in 3…2…1… |

「Bruiser isn’t entirely satisfied with the 501st new ARC trooper either」 [ART] + Part 2 [ART]

「Deadshot has one of those days」 [ART]

12/12/2023| OC: Deadshot, Clone Trooper Tup | Sketchbook | Breaking down in 3…2…1… |

Skrunkly Shots[ART]

Skrunkle trooper!shots made by nuclearteabag |OC: Deadshot | Gift for me <3 |

「Deadshot has one of those days again」 [ART]

05/01/2024| OC: Deadshot | Character reacts to post | ith, you managed to get him feel something :DD |

「Deadshot has one of those days yet again」 [ART]

16/01/2024|OC: Deadshot | Deadshot has one of those days but this time he is pretty

「Deadshot reacts to Fives portrait」 [ART]

Fives x Deadshot (OC) CLONESHIP 16/01/2024 | Arc Trooper Fives, OC: Deadshot | Fives exists and Shots is melting |

「Sketchdump」[ART]

FIVES x DEADSHOT ECHO x TECH MAZE x BOOKS CLONESHIP 02/02/2024| ARC Trooper Fives, OC: Deadshot, ARC Trooper Echo, TBB Tech, Alpha-26 Maze | sketchbook | Various sketches about cloneboys + JungleSkirmish!AU lore |

「One of those days」 [ART]

「He was supposed to be dead to begin with」 [AO3]

FIVES x DEADSHOT (OC) CLONESHIP 20/04/2024| OC: Deadshot, Captain Rex, ARC Trooper Fives | Fanfic | Wordcount: 2446 | Mature | Talking about a dead person and grief | Captain Rex had enough with Deadshot's digging into the past and decided it's time to have a conversation neither of them wished to have. | If you perhaps read the older version, this one went through a little editing. |

#original clone character: deadshot #original clone character: kissar #arc trooper fives #captain rex #clone trooper tup #cloneship #fivesshots #clone trooper hardcase #clone trooper dogma #arc trooper echo

18 notes · View notes

emilnikos · 7 months

Text

half-werewolf vampire hunter and his friend who was recently bit by a werewolf and isn't handling it all too well

#rex has ocs and they exist #been in a werewolf mood recently. made some werewolves #well wulf cant turn completely during a full moon he just enters a sort of halfway stage. even more halfway than he is normally anyway.#🧪evil art

10 notes · View notes

rexxdjarin · 1 year

Text

Unwritten

The Captain's Log Prequel

A Captain Rex x OC: Mari Vontas Origin Story

Chapter 2: A Beautiful Distraction

Series Summary: Mari Vontas has spent nearly twenty years of her life rising to the surface of the bustling ecumenopolis of the Republic Capital planet of Coruscant. Now, about a year into the conflict known galaxy-wide as the Clone Wars, Mari finds herself on a Civilian Rights Committee serving closely under none other than Senator Padmé Amidala. Though her passion for justice fuels her professionally, her personal life has yet to catch up. That is, until a night at the clone bar 79s changes her passion for her job, her historically rocky love life and the trajectory of her destiny forever.

Series Tags/Warnings: Rated E (18+ Only MINORS DNI), canon compliant, canon typical violence, political themes, war references, battle trauma and loss, human rights discussions and most importantly lots and lots of smut and heartstopping relationship drama and fluff.

[previous] [next] [series masterlist] [post on ao3]

Pairing: Captain Rex x OC Mari Vontas Word Count: 9.5k Series Rating: Explicit (18+ only, Minors DO NOT INTERACT) Chapter Summary: The Captain speaks but his mind is in a scramble because there is no strategy for the kind of situation he's found himself in... Chapter Warnings: 18+ as usual but SFW, No Smut this time, Mature Themes, Suggestive Situations, Language, Political References, References to Canon Plot, References to Canon, Mentions of the Ethics of War, Masturbation (if you squint)

The clone barracks could be a cold and lonely place, but there were ways around that. The smart clones always found company in bars or restaurants on the many different levels of Coruscant, and they frequently ventured out when they needed a taste of the minor comfort humans should be afforded. That comfort wasn’t always explicit in nature, but with everything he heard from the solitude of his captain’s quarters, it certainly seemed like it was.

For someone so widely regarded as tactful, agile, and–by his own admission at times–brilliant, Rex felt it was pointless to crave the kind of attention he always let his men indulge in. Perhaps he was too sensible for his own good, but he didn’t see the point of getting close to someone he would inevitably disappoint in some way or another. He was a soldier, a commanding officer of an entire battalion of his brothers, whose sole duty was to lead the Republic to victory. Wanting more was something he regularly forced himself to believe he couldn’t have. It was never in the cards for him, so why waste precious time needed for rest on dreams of a life he’d never see?

But now he wanted more.

More than a life with no future. More than an existence where duty was his only option. For so long he had buried it as deep in his soul as he could–swallowed it whole and let it sit like a heavy weight in his gut that he could pretend was just growing pains or battle wounds. Yet, when his head hit the sorry excuse for a pillow on his standard-issue bed, the desire was still there gnawing at him.

For a while, living like that was fine. He could handle physical pain without complaint, and he did what he could to endure the mental fatigue and trauma that came with fighting a war. He had been prepared for that as soon as he learned to walk.

He had occasionally given into the need for carnal release, but he never felt truly connected to any of the women before. It had always just been another form of physical stress relief. Sex was easy, but emotions were the hard part. The Kaminoans, as a whole, didn’t seem to have them at all. Their blank expressions and monotone voices took the place of where any semblance of humanoid emotion would be, so none of the clones learned anything about feelings from them.

The Mandalorian-adjacent men and women who trained the earliest batches of clones weren’t exactly in tune with their emotions either. It wasn’t like they had time to go over things like that when they were teaching a thousand-plus cadets how to aim a blaster correctly.

Most of what clones knew of love, affection, and care came from the bond they had with each other. They had shared experiences and brotherly camaraderie that no other lifeforms in the galaxy would ever truly know. It was absolutely sacred to all of them, and they lived their entire lives by two shared truths: for their duty to victory for the Republic and for the respect and honor of their fellow brothers.

For the first eleven years of his life, that was all Rex ever knew and that had been enough. The only desire he felt was to become the leader he knew he could be–the leader he eventually proved he was in a very short time. His drive to become truly great got him through the Battle of Geonosis, where thousands of his brothers were not nearly as lucky as he was. It helped him survive dozens of battles on pure determination and grit alone. He saw promotion after promotion until he was made a captain and granted the privilege to serve alongside the boldest and most insane Jedi he’d ever seen.

All the accolades, the valor, and the glory in the galaxy couldn’t make that little feeling in his gut go away, though. He didn’t know what more he wanted or what else he could reasonably expect to have in what he could only assume would be his short life. He didn’t know what that flutter he felt deep down inside even fucking meant.

Until that night in the bar.

That night, everything he’d kept himself from feeling sat down in his lap and offered him a kiss that tasted like the life he’d make in an alternate universe where his choice mattered. She was everything he kept himself from dreaming about night after night—a reality he craved where all the galaxy’s endless possibilities were afforded to him and life was about more than the number of battles it took for death to claim him. Rex found himself yearning for it so desperately that it made the ache in his chest bloom.

Now he knew what his gut was trying to tell him. He wanted her. Gods he wanted her. He wanted her and whatever his life might look like if she was in it, even if it was just for a rotation. If only his current reality hadn’t crept up on him in the blink of an eye and fucked everything up with the click of his comm.

He had silently cursed being called away for another battle–another insane mission of chasing a murderous, raving lunatic named Grievous around hyperspace. The look in her big, brown eyes as he left her on the platform went from curious, seductive, and clever to disappointed, hurt, and offended. If it was anyone other than himself making her feel like that, he’d probably have flattened the guy in short order.

Yet, he had to live with the fact that upsetting her for even a second was his fault. He had plenty of time to think about the disappointed look on her face as he’d spent the last week recovering from a nearly fatal shot in the chest on Saleucami. He’d been nursed back to health by a deserter named Cut, and the family he’d made for himself, which did nothing to curb Rex’s desire for a different life with someone who truly cared about him.

Even though he had tried to put off thinking about Mari, Rex was forced to confront the convictions he’d lived his life by for the last decade in various conversations with Cut.

Now that he was back planetside, he still couldn’t bring himself to comm her. It wasn’t his fault that he was nearly killed and unable to contact anyone for a few rotations, but if he commed her now, she probably wouldn’t even entertain answering him. Sure, she might understand if he explained everything, but he’d be surprised if she even gave him that chance. A girl like that would have plenty of other options and wouldn’t wait around her whole life for a guy that couldn’t even find time to comm her like he promised.

Someone like her deserved better than a clone. That was true regardless of if she cared or not. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, hoping that by the time he opened them again, he’d stop seeing her face in the darkness.

As he lay there in his barracks bunk, he somehow managed to convince himself that maybe it was all in his head. Maybe it didn’t even happen at all and he was hallucinating on medicinal herbs in the Lawquane’s barn the whole time.

It was 0300 hours and he’d done nothing but toss and turn since he got in bed. In part because the wound still stung, but also because he felt guilty. Even if he wanted to know her better, to be in her life, it was still going to be selfish. He would be asking a nat-born to care about someone they could lose every time he was deployed. He knew how much it hurt to constantly carry that kind of loss, and he’d never want another person to feel that weight because of him.

He sat up in frustration and reached for his comm, her frequency channel queued up for hours now. Cut would tell him he owed it to himself to at least try to have something good, someone special who cared about him for more than just his service to the galaxy.

He stared at the device in the darkness, waiting for the words to come to him, but before long, he was leaning back in bed, thoughts of what could’ve been that night swirling in his mind. His commlink sat forgotten on his sheets as his hands became too preoccupied imagining her touch on him to type anything.

He tugged at himself fueled by the echoes of hauntingly seductive filth she’d whispered in his ear that night. The memory of her soft hands made him feel alive, and he spilled all over his fingers picturing her gorgeous face. He’d cum so fast it was embarrassing, like an inexperienced shiny. As the haze of his high dissolved through his pulsing veins, he finally found the remedy to quiet his mind and send him to sleep in peace with the promise that tomorrow he’d comm her. Tomorrow, he’d find a way to see her again.

–

“Hey, Rex–”

The sound of his name jolted him awake again, blinking away the sleep in his eyes to make out the silhouette of his general leaning up against the door frame. Skywalker’s habit of showing up unannounced normally wouldn’t bother him, but after the events of the last mission, he was probably the last person Rex wanted to see.

He cleared his throat, trying to shake the exhaustion from his body enough to speak. “...General… sir...” Rex silently thanked himself for remembering to clean up before he fell asleep last night.

“I knocked, but you sleep pretty deep when you’re injured.” He took Rex’s acknowledgment of him as permission to enter and sat down casually at the desk in the corner of the room. Slowly, he lifted the memory module from a broken battle droid Rex had recovered from Grievous’ Saleucami wreckage and turned it over in his hand. The general was exceedingly gifted at everything, but especially at fixing broken things. Rex had planned on bringing the clanker’s tiny excuse for a brain to him to look over at some point anyway. “How ya feelin’, buddy? Better, I hope?”

“I’m alive. Been better, but I’ll survive,” Rex replied, reaching over to grab his datapad off his bunkside table. The notifications were flooded with a new mission log and endless messages from the Torrent boys detailing their plans. As he typed in his passcode, his half-formed message to Mari from last night was on the screen still waiting to be finished. With a sigh, he swiped it away to read through the announcement of the mission he was just assigned to. A pang of guilt knotted in his stomach all over again knowing full well he would have to push back comming her… again.

“Well, good because I’ve got us a new mission.”

Great. Rex thought, trying to resist the urge to roll his eyes in protest. The general knew him too well and laughed, clearly sensing his captain’s hesitation as he twisted a few loose wires back into place.

“Nothing too crazy. Senator Amidala is having a gala tonight and needs us on security detail. Shouldn’t be anything to worry about, but you know the extra muscle can’t hurt.” He grinned, a hint of mischief twinkling in his blue eyes as he succeeded in getting exactly the mission he wanted.

Anything happening with Senator Amidala practically guaranteed Skywalker would find a way to get involved, which meant Rex and the 501st boys were brought along, too. It wasn’t the worst possible mission after nearly being shot to death, but enduring the couple's antics was a more stressful task than it seemed.

Stressful because Rex knew what others could only speculate at or, more appropriately, outright refuse to admit. His Jedi General was married. He and the very high-profile senator had been together for quite some time, and although he wasn’t entirely sure how long, he figured it was long enough to warrant the utmost discretion–something that was most definitely not Skywalker’s strong suit.

Rex had always been taught that it was against the Jedi Code to be married or in a relationship with anyone. Yet, knowing who his general was, it wasn’t a total surprise that he chose to actively ignore that rule. Rex didn’t care about their rules–or his general’s penchant for breaking them–so long as it didn’t get in the way of them completing their missions. To his credit, Skywalker tried very hard to keep things concealed, and Rex had sworn to help him keep that secret.

His general had cared about his men in a way that he never expected from a Jedi, and his wife was no different. The pair saw the 501st as an extension of their family and treated them all like the individual men they were. There weren’t accurate enough words to express how much that meant to Rex, so he figured the best thanks he could offer them was to keep their happy relationship a secret.

“Alright. Doesn’t sound too bad. Where are we headed?” Rex questioned, assuming the gala would be held on some kind of luxury liner or retreat somewhere.

Skywalker chuckled, snapping a few pieces of metal into place and setting the now-repaired memory module onto Rex’s desk. “That’s the best part. The gala’s at the Senate Building. We don’t even have to leave town, and you boys can have a calm night to yourselves as soon as the party ends.”

“Easy enough. I’ll go tell the boys the good news. Though, from the 500 messages I have, it seems like they already know,” he raised his datapad and scrolled through the long thread of plans Torrent Company had seemingly already solidified.

The general shrugged and stood up, heading back toward the door. “I know. I had Ahsoka brief them all while you slept. Her idea. She figured you could use the extra rest.”

Ah, the commander spread the word already. Rex thought. His snippy, brash, and clever little sister–even if she was technically she was older than him and would be quick to remind him of that–was as in tune with the general’s plans as one could be. Rex greatly appreciated the camaraderie that had quickly developed between them, and her involvement always made the boys behave a little better. Plus, smaller missions like this one were a great way for her to take the lead while still in training.

“I’ll make sure to thank her then,” Rex nodded affirmatively. “What time do you need us ready by, sir?”

“Let’s meet at the Senate Building at 1600 hours. That’ll give you some time to get the guys together. Ahsoka and I are heading out to meet Senator Amidala now. Comm me if you need anything… but try not to need me,” Anakin smirked. With a quick salute, he walked back out into the hallway.

“Don’t worry, General. I won’t,” Rex quipped, throwing his blanket off himself and setting his feet on the floor.

“That’s why I trust you,” Anakin shouted from somewhere down the hall, already in a rush to meet up with his wife.

Rex shook his head and gathered his things, desperate for a hot shower before he had to start another day of protecting lofty senators who never saw the kind of real danger he did. His datapad sat on his bunkside table, mocking him with the reminder of the message he needed to send. Begrudgingly, he shrugged it aside and set off toward the refreshers.

Letting the steamy water roll down his back allowed him ample time to think about what he might want to say to her or how he could possibly explain himself after this long. Sending her a casual message after a week and a half would not cut it. Talking to her and hoping she would understand that he didn’t avoid her on purpose was strategically his best shot.

However, he knew next to nothing about her. He knew her first name and what she looked like–stars, he’d never forget that face as long as he lived–but her last name, her job, where she lived, and who she hung out with were all a fucking mystery. He remembered her being at 79s with some other women, but he couldn’t pick them out of a crowd even if he tried. Suddenly, it dawned on him that she had spent a decent amount of time talking to Fives. Maybe he knew something.

He groaned in frustration, not at all excited by the prospect of having to ask Fives about women. The ARC trooper would never let him live that down. Besides, he didn’t seem thrilled that Mari had gone for his captain over him in the first place.

It would be worth it for her. he thought, scrubbing the last bits of shampoo from his buzzed blonde hair and turning off the water.

Rex scrambled to fit himself into his armor kit and started toward the barracks mess hall, knowing where he would find his men at this hour. The pit in his stomach was starting to growl with a hunger he’d been dealing with since his time in the medbay. All Rex had consumed for several rotations had been soup, and he’d do just about anything for a measly ration stick to change things up a bit.

The smell of what he assumed was nuna nuggets hit him as he rounded the corner, and his mouth watered. If this was how his day was going to start, he had a good feeling. Men filtered in and out of the blast doors as the lunch rush started to ramp up, and he easily spotted Kix and Jesse’s tattooed heads at a table just a few meters away. He counted five men in total and didn’t have to look to guess who they were.

“Hey, Boss!” a loud voice called across the hall. “Saved ya a seat if you want it!”

Hardcase. He knew his hyperactive brother's voice anywhere. Hardcase waved at him, quickly being elbowed to quiet down by Echo.

Rex shook his head in amusement, heading toward them and noticing that the delicious scent of nuna was steaming off a loaded silver tray at the center of the table. He was greeted by Hardcase, Echo, Fives, Jesse, and Kix as soon as he slid into the empty spot on the bench. “Thanks, boys,” Rex said, reaching for a handful of food. “Do you mind? I haven’t eaten real food in a while.”

“What? They don’t do high-class dinners in the medbay?” Jesse joked, arching an eyebrow at him and laughing, knowing damn well that Kix was too focused on saving lives to worry about cooking them 5-star meals.

“No, because if I did, you would never leave my office,” Kix quipped, taking a sip of his electrolyte-loaded beverage and chastising his gluttonous brother.

“Hey… gotta feed these muscles,” Jesse shrugged, flexing a bicep obnoxiously.

Echo snorted and rolled his eyes, shoveling in a final spoonful of his own meal. “Between you and Fives, I can’t decide who’s the bigger fucking show off,” he remarked, looking at the rest of the men at the table for agreement.

Fives sat up and folded his hands, setting them on the table and glancing around knowingly. “Actually, Echo, after the events of a week ago, I’d say someone else here has earned that title.” He raised his brows and motioned toward Rex chomping away at the head of the table. “Was one hell of a night out for you, huh Rex?”

Rex froze, a focused scowl growing as he worked his jaw in annoyance. “Actually, no. It wasn’t,” he responded, setting his food down and folding his arms. “Nothing happened. We got called away right before we could do anything.”

The boys all sighed and shook their heads in disdain. Chasing Grievous around the galaxy only to have him get away again and almost have their captain killed was not their idea of a worthwhile mission. Fives tucked one knee to his chest and scratched at his growing goatee with thoughtfulness. “You at least got her comm frequency, right? I know we were gone awhile. She was probably worried.”

Rex closed his eyes, feeling the guilt punch him in the stomach again, and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “Uh yeah. I have her info and everything, but uhm, I never got around to comming her.”

A look of pure indignation crossed Fives’ face, and he raised his voice, slamming his fist on the table. “You… had… the hottest girl in 79s… in your fucking lap… and you. Didn’t. Comm. Her?!”

Rex grinned sheepishly, feeling the embarrassment darken his cheeks. “I know… I know… but I did get shot and was out of commission for a while.”

Jesse coughed, unconvincingly covering his words, “Bantha shit.”

Rex shot him a look, but he knew Jesse was right. He could’ve reached out to her at any time, but he was too paralyzed by indecision to even try. His retort died on his tongue as Fives interrupted.

“You know, for such a brilliant captain, you can be a real fucking di’kut sometimes.” He took several deep breaths to settle himself, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, and shaking his head. “I can’t believe you probably just let that fucking gorgeous woman get away. I’m so mad at you right now.”

Rex groaned and set his datapad on the table. ��I still have time. I just… I want to find a way to talk to her in person and explain myself. But you talked to her, too, so… I was hoping you might actually know where to find her.”

Fives’ eyes narrowed, “Yeah go ahead, twist the vibroblade a little deeper. You wound me, you know that?” He shoved three nuggets into his mouth and chewed away his irritation, muttering his usual excuse to himself that Rex’s blonde hair was the root cause of all his troubles.

The rest of the guys at the table snickered as they watched Rex subtly point out to their most flirtatious brother that he’d won the attention of a person even Fives wanted–without trying. They all knew that bruise on Fives’ ego would take some time to heal because there was nothing he loved more than being the object of everyone’s affection.

“All I know is her name. Mari.” Rex resisted the urge to swoon, as her name rolled off his tongue. “I don’t know anything more than that. I didn’t get the chance to ask.” All Rex could do was picture her. Every freckle on her face, every curve of her body, every blink of her eyes focused on him.

“Cap, I don’t know what to tell you. I know less than you do. Besides, she was too focused on you to tell me anything,” Fives admitted, sipping his drink and swirling it in his cup when his signature mischievous smile flashed brightly again. “Think she might’ve known that Mikkian bartender, though. Bright green and very cheery. Made killer Phattro cocktails. Think I had like four of ‘em that night. If we go back there, I’m definitely talking to her again.”

“Her name’s Siviee, Brother. You’d remember that if you weren’t so drunk. You asked her like a hundred times,” Echo scolded, looking at Rex apologetically. “We were all kinda wasted that night, sir. I can’t remember much either and I only talked to your girl briefly.”

Rex sighed, realizing that any more research into his dream girl’s backstory would probably have to come after their mission. “Well, I guess after tonight we could head back to 79s and ask her.”

“Way ahead of you, Boss. The boys and I were already coordinating a meet-up tonight with the 212th. You can stalk her whole entire life then,” Hardcase needled, clapping Rex on the shoulder and laughing.

“I’d still comm her or something, though. You know better than to ghost, sir,” Kix pointed out, reaching around the table to gather everyone’s dirty trays. “And from what I can recall, which isn’t much, you’d be insane to miss out on her. She was a real stunner.”

Jesse scoffed and let out a weighted, lofty exhale. “Oh, you have no idea, Kix. Fives and I were biting our fists whenever she spoke two words to either of us. Every guy there would’ve worked garbage detail for a year just to have a chance with her.”

Rex sat back and smirked, quite satisfied with himself, even if he was on the verge of blowing it. She’d still chosen him, for some unknown reason. Although he was oblivious to it at the time, he had the girl everyone wanted. Coupled with the incredible kiss they shared, he felt more special than he had in a very long time. Kix was right. He had to say something.

“You could invite her out with us tonight?” Echo offered, handing Kix a tray that managed to make even garbage look neat and orderly. “Not that we know what time that will end up being.”

“Right… I guess I’ll find a way to string words together and I will definitely let you all know as soon as the general dismisses us for the night.” Standing and sighing, Rex shifted from socially anxious to his more comfortable leadership role. He straightened his shoulders and lifted his bucket off the table to tuck it under his left arm. “For now, let’s hustle up. We’re meeting the general and commander in a few hours. We’ve got details to discuss.” He motioned for them to follow and set off toward the strategy room to prepare for a mission that should be easier than most.

–

Mood lighting in an already dimly lit and unnecessarily confusing maze of a building made for terrible surveillance on a security detail. The crimson-carpeted floors and amber halogen sconces bathed the hallways in the flattering flicker of mock candlelight. Vain senators and diplomats were always paranoid about how they looked, especially for transmissions sent out on the holonet. It was almost always smoke and mirrors, and Rex was beginning to see why Fox complained about it all the time.

Battles and strategy were simpler and the objectives were clear; defeat the Separatists by whatever means necessary. Ulterior motives and personal gain were never factored in. Everything was put on the line to help ensure a Republic victory. The Republic Senate claimed that’s what they were doing, too, but after a year of fighting this war, Rex quickly realized things seemed to get more complicated on a daily basis. He didn’t understand a lot of the political jargon or in-fighting, but sometimes it seemed like they did more to work against the best interests of the galaxy as a whole.

Rex sighed, breathing out the disdain he had for politics he was starting to pick up on from serving alongside General Kenobi. He focused his mind elsewhere, watching the guests beginning to arrive up the red carpet on the grand steps from his post inside Senator Amidala’s office.

Ornately well-dressed politicians and their entourage filed in slowly, the crowd diverging where the senators were directed toward the office and their plus-ones were ushered to a cavernous dining hall, taking their time in showing face to their equally self-important colleagues. Tall, intricate hairstyles, glittering crowns and jewelry, and the billowing fabric of larger-than-life gowns were worn by both women and men. Plastoid might not have been the most comfortable material, but somehow what these lifeforms were arriving in seemed ten times worse. Rex was thankful he could keep watch over the front entrance from the comfort of the transparisteel window.

General Skywalker sat casually on top of Senator Amidala’s desk, watching her chat with a few of her close friends. Commander Tano stood behind it with her arms behind her back and hands clasped together to retain focus. Though they looked serious and intimidating, they’d both been keeping count of the number of hideous outfits they could find, relaying to each other who to look out for on their comms. The whole squad was in on it, and their repressed giggles filled the Torrent company frequency and echoed in his helmet.

It was silly, but it got them all through the mission. If Skywalker wasn’t worried, he wasn’t either. Not really. Since they all arrived at the Senate Building, Rex had done nothing but sweat over the message he’d finally managed to send out to Mari’s comm channel.

Hey. I know it’s been a while… but I’d like to invite you out tonight to explain myself. 79s at midnight. Hope I see you there.

That was an hour ago, and he had received nothing but radio silence.

Rex stood with his hands on the window sill, kicking himself for sending what was probably the worst message he could have ever composed. On some level, he deserved this. He should have sent her something a week ago, right before they left the atmosphere for their mission. He should have sent her something when he got back to the ship after being rescued on Saleucami. He was laid up in the medbay with Kix for three days; he should have sent her something while he was out of commission with nothing else to do. So why didn’t he? Why couldn’t he bring himself to do something he clearly wanted?

“General? Captain?” Rex’s comm lit up with Jesse’s voice.

“I’m listening,” Rex responded, turning away from his daydreaming out the window and walking over to where Ahsoka stood.

“Yeah, we’ve got a situation down here.” A loud groan and shouting in the background rang out over the channel. “...Representative Binks, sir, calm down! Oh for the love of–Captain, Binks set his robe on fire,” Jesse grumbled, trying to hold back his laughter.

The general turned and rolled his eyes, “Alright Jess, keep it together. I’m sending Rex and Ahsoka down.” He motioned for the both of them to head down and Ahsoka groaned.

“At this point, Jar Jar’s probably the biggest security risk for us tonight,” she scoffed, elbowing Rex for his approval as they started off down the hallway together.

“He’s the biggest security risk every time he’s invited anywhere,” Rex snickered, remaining on alert as he and Ahsoka walked through crowds of glitzy gala attendees who were probably just as flammable.

“Klutz,” Ahsoka remarked, stopping at the lift and pressing the button for the ground floor. “But hey, dealing with him is still better than getting shot at, right?” She smirked at him, lightly teasing him for the ordeal he’d gone through in the last week.

“Very funny, Commander, but trust me, I think we’d fare better with the droids.” He patted both DC-17s on his hips as the lift doors opened and followed after her. Ahsoka giggled and shrugged in exasperation. “By the way, thank you for getting the boys together this morning. You can be pretty thoughtful, kid.”

“You’re welcome. Figured you could use the extra rest. Plus, I think they like it better when I’m in charge.” She nudged him with her shoulder playfully. She had been watching him all afternoon, probably sensing all his apprehension. He had a lot on his mind and he couldn’t hide anything from a Jedi Padawan so keen on honing her intuitive senses. The constant needling and back and forth with his little sister was likely because she could tell something was bothering him. “How are you feeling anyways?” she asked, her eyes narrowing as she waited for an answer that fit her suspicions.

“Fine. The wound is healing ok. Kix is good with bacta,” Rex replied, the lift slowing to a halt as it approached the ground floor.

Ahsoka hummed, turning toward him and cocking her head. From everything Rex read about Togrutas when Commander Tano joined their squad, he knew her montrals were hypersensitive to emotional changes and she could sense there was more to what he was feeling.

“Rex… you know that’s not what I meant–” The doors opened to the ground floor and a rush of gray smoke filling the air interrupted their conversation.

They ran out of the lift toward where Jesse and Hardcase were attempting to subdue a panicking Jar Jar Binks. By now his robe was doused in fire-extinguishing foam and soaked in pond water from a large, splashing fountain in the center of the courtyard.

The boys, both equally drenched, were unsuccessfully wrestling the frazzled Gungan out of the soggy red cloth and were attracting the unwanted attention of the incoming guests.

“Oh, my god,” Rex groaned, removing his bucket and scrubbing his fingers over his eyes. “Commander, calm the Gungan down, will ya?”

“Happy to,” she replied, jumping between the two brothers and resting her hands on Jar Jar’s shoulders. She used the Force to subdue his panic, and Rex bent down to pull both his men off the ground.

“Fire’s out, Boss,” Hardcase panted, cracking his neck on both sides as he settled himself on his own two feet again. Jesse stretched, resting his hand on Rex’s shoulder and catching his breath.

“Are you all done playing around now?” Rex chided, raising his hand to beckon over an attendant droid serving up drinks to arriving gala attendees. “Hey, can we get a few of those napkins over here?” The attendant droid glided over and handed all three of them a tiny, square cloth napkin to dry themselves off with.

Jesse scowled at him. “Oh, yeah this’ll work,” he grumbled sarcastically, grabbing another fistful of napkins from the droid and sopping up the water droplets collecting around his waistband. “This mission cannot end fast enough. I’m in desperate need of a drink… or three.”

“Couldn’t agree more, Jesse. I want to be two shots deep on the dance floor so bad… and I know you’re itching to find your girlfriend, Boss,” Hardcase joked, loud enough for even Ahsoka to hear.

Rex surveyed the mess and dispatched a maintenance droid to mop up the floor with a few taps on his commlink, noticing that Ahsoka had looked up curiously–her sharp blue eyes darting between the three brothers trying to figure out what part of the conversation she was missing.“ Not in front of the kid, trooper,” he hissed, glaring at Hardcase with a look sharp enough to kill.

Ahsoka stood up, helping Representative Binks to his unsteady feet and smoothing the wrinkles out of her own clothes. She eyed them all suspiciously with that inquisitive ‘you’re going to tell me about this’ look that only she and Skywalker ever could use successfully on them.

“Kid? She’s older than all three of us, Captain,” Jesse argued playfully.

“By about a year I’d say,” she giggled, approaching the group of them and revealing that she’d heard their entire conversation. “Look. Let’s all head upstairs and you and Hardcase can take up the post in the dining room. Go relieve Echo and Fives. I’ll tell them they can take hallway duty. Got it?” Ahsoka offered, pointing Representative Binks away to the helpful hands of Senator Amidala’s handmaidens.

“Yes, Commander. Thank you.” Jesse and Hardcase straightened up and saluted, marching off toward the stairwell closest to their next post.

Rex groaned, ready to kill both his brothers for giving Ahsoka the ammo to pester him even more about personal problems. “Let’s hope that’s the worst of it,” Rex commented. “The sooner we can be done with this place tonight the better. I hate dealing with missions like this.”

“Not a big fan of politicians, huh? You sound like Master Kenobi. My Master doesn’t seem to mind. He’s really good friends with a couple politicians. He took this mission as a favor to Senator Amidala. They’ve been friends for a decade,” she explained matter-of-factly.

How blissfully unaware a child could be. Especially a young Jedi Padawan like her. If she couldn’t even tell what was going on between the general and Senator Amidala, then there was no way she’d understand what he was going through presently.

“Mhm. The General takes on a lot of missions for her if you haven’t noticed,” Rex muttered, heading back to the turbolift with Ahsoka in tow. “I’m sorry, Commander. I shouldn’t be complaining. This is an easy mission–I’ve just had a tough few days.”

She rested her hand on his shoulder pauldron. “Thought something was up. Figured it was best not to pry. Maybe getting back into the swing of things will just take getting used to, that’s all.” She smiled weakly, fishing around in her pocket for something quickly before pulling out a fresh ration stick. “Here. It’s supposed to be for later, but the senator gave me a couple snacks before you got here, so you can have this.”

“‘S alright, Commander. I couldn’t eat right now even if I wanted to.” Rex shrugged, refusing her offer and looking off down the hallway at the hundreds of people filling up the usually cavernous space.

“You got a hot date or something?” she joked, crossing her arms and freezing in place when Rex whipped around to scowl at her. She raised her hands in surrender, “Woah, sorry. Guess I hit a nerve. You’re awfully on edge. Are you sure you’re okay? Did something happen that I should know about?”

Even if he wanted to tell her, he couldn’t. How was he supposed to explain the concept of romantic desire to his Jedi Padawan little sister? It was way too embarrassing. He couldn’t admit to her that a woman was what had been tripping him up for a week. A really, really fucking hot woman. No, not just any woman. Mari.

He shook his discontent away when he saw the concerned look crossing her features. It wasn’t Ahsoka’s fault that she was so perceptive. It made him rethink the idea that she might just know something about Skywalker and Amidala after all, and she was just keeping it under wraps like he was. Whatever the case, he was comforted by the fact that she knew him well enough to sense that something was bothering him.

“No, no it’s fine. I’m okay. Just have a lot on my mind. We should head back toward Senator Amidala’s office. The general will probably want us on guard outside the doors once the party starts.”

She squinted her big, blue eyes at him like she didn’t believe a word he said, but nodded her agreement. “Alright… if you say so, Blondie. I’m surprised Skyguy hasn’t commed us for an update already.” They approached the lift and she pressed the button to open the doors. “Oh, and about 79s later… when do I get invited to that?”

“When you’re an adult. Trust me, you don’t wanna go. Scraping drunken brothers off the floor is sort of an internal thing for us clones,” Rex explained, neglecting to mention all the debauchery that frequently occurred in the bar.

Their time off was their business. Whatever the clones needed to do to blow off steam was fine by the Jedi, so long as they didn’t need to step in for any reason. It was absolutely not a place for a Jedi Padawan, and General Skywalker would probably lose it if he found out she set foot inside such an establishment.

The lift doors slid open and they both walked inside, Ahsoka slamming the button for Senator Amidala’s floor aggressively. “Ugh… I knew you’d say that,” she groaned, folding her arms and pouting slightly. “Being a kid sucks.”

Rex smiled softly, knowing she was mostly joking, watching her roll her eyes and huff the same way his general always did when he was annoyed. They were already more alike than they realized. He wished more than anything that she wasn’t forced to grow up so fast. The clones knew that pain far better than any other lifeforms in the galaxy. If he could help it, he’d do anything he could to let her be a kid the way he and his brothers were never allowed to.

He sighed, giving her shoulder a light squeeze, “Hey, at least you get to be one.” He felt her relax and a sympathetic smile grew on her face, too.

The men of the 501st had grown very fond of their young surrogate Togruta sister in a very short amount of time. While Rex didn’t necessarily feel like he was obligated to protect her or that he was responsible for her, she was truly one of his own. He secretly hoped that someday he and the Torrent boys could be the ones to buy her, her first drink on a night out. Maker knew she worked hard enough on the battlefield to deserve her own shore leave sometimes.

“Sorry,” she apologized, understanding that childhood could be a sensitive topic for a clone.

“Nah, it’s alright, Commander. Just don’t try to grow up too fast.” They approached their floor again, the lift doors opening mid-sentence, and Rex motioned her forward. “C’mon let’s head back to our post. We’ll have an even better view of all the ugly dresses up there anyways.” Ahsoka laughed as they made their way back down the hall.

The floor had started to fill up and they could barely make it three steps down the hall before they were shoulder-to-shoulder with Republic senators. Drinks were flowing and conversations were so loud Rex had no choice but to put his helmet back on just to keep up communication with his squad.

“Senator Amidala sure has a lot of supporters and friends,” Ahsoka noted, keeping in stride with the captain as they pushed through the crowd and finally found their way to the office door again. The sea of people filtering in and out to mingle with other party guests was overwhelming and, logically, splitting up was their best strategy for monitoring the situation.

“Yeah, too many. I’ll take the entryway, watching people coming in from outside. You stand inside and monitor people within the room. The general will appreciate you having his back in there.” He nodded, moving into position just outside the entryway and standing rigidly to survey the area.

Ahsoka took off inside the senator’s office and checked in with him as soon as she took up her post inside, making sure they all took note of the representative from Sector 12 wearing what could only be described as the lifeless corpse of a nightswan.

In truth, Rex was relieved to be back in his own head again. His duty gave him focus and he could mindlessly watch over the crowd while checking his datapad to see if his illustrious dream girl had even read his message to her yet. To Rex’s dismay, she hadn’t. He sighed, letting his helmet clank back into the wall. He was going to have to do this the old-fashioned way; using what he already knew about her, which wasn’t much, to investigate further.

The swell of the crowd heightened as the time approached for Senator Amidala to give a toast before they all made their way down to the banquet hall, and more and more varying species from all over the Galactic Republic made their way inside.

Even having seen so much of the galaxy, Rex felt odd and out of place in this crowd. He hardly knew anything about the world outside of being a soldier, and it made him question whether or not he would ever amount to anything else.

For all that existed in this big wide universe, Rex’s role in it felt both so important and so small at the same time. Without them fighting in this war, there might not be a Republic like this for much longer. However, these people in this lavish setting made it seem like there wasn’t a warfront at all, that the clones themselves were merely props in some elaborate story being woven through rumors every day.

It made him feel about as human as all the droids serving the crowd tonight–like a very expensive security feature that worked so well no one had to give it a second thought. He and his brothers weren’t seen or heard unless there was a problem, and on nights like tonight, there were no real risks for them to be called on to tackle. Maybe Cut was right to find his calling. At least he wouldn’t have to be surrounded by millions of people and still feel like a faceless object.

Mari hadn’t made him feel like that. She didn’t bark orders at him or act like a helpless damsel from a cushy position of power. She looked at him as a whole person, not just a copy of one. She had spoken to him like she truly cared what he had to say and made him feel like he was worthy of more. He’d give anything to feel that valued again.

For a long time, he would’ve said it was a stupid waste of time to feel much of anything. Victory was what mattered and everything else wasn’t in the cards for him in his lifetime. The last few days felt like an emotional shockwave he was just now starting to recover from. Discussing free will and choice with Cut, meeting his family, and a beautiful, incredible woman falling into his lap; all of a sudden, things Rex never thought twice about were all around him. It was hazing his resolve and clouding his focus with the tentative promise of possibilities for a life beyond war. Maybe there was more to him than he ever thought there could be. Maybe now it was safe to think about what might come next for him and all his brothers.

Just as he started to daydream about a place of his own and every last detail surrounding what and who would be in it, his comm lit up again. “Rex, you all good out there, buddy?” Skywalker’s voice echoed inside his helmet.

He pushed the fantasy from his mind and did a once over of the vast hallway, the crowd now filing into Senator Amidala’s office. “All clear, General. Just a few stragglers. Want me to head in and watch your six?” Rex questioned, already heading in.

“Yeah get in here. Keep an eye on Snips while I’m busy,” Skywalker ordered. Rex already spotted his general leaning against the window to watch his wife’s back as she prepared her toast.

“Understood, sir. I’ll keep the Commander in line,” Rex chuckled, shaking his head at Skywalker’s blatantly obvious attachment to his wife. It was noticeable as all Sith Hells if anyone bothered to really pay attention.

“Oh, because I was doing such a bantha shit job of standing here at the back of the room,” Ahsoka drawled sarcastically, grabbing Rex’s shoulder and yanking him back from walking directly into a serving droid.

“You’re doing just fine, kid. Just consider me moral support.” Rex fell in line beside his Commander and began a half-serious scan of the room. Nothing was out of place. He couldn’t blame his general for wanting to take this mission, even if it was only so he could stare at his wife in her very revealing purple cocktail gown all evening.

Most clones revered Senator Amidala and she was a common choice of pinup girl-style poster found adorning the barracks walls in many different battalions. Not among his 501st men, though–Skywalker had put a stop to that immediately. The senator from Naboo was beautiful, compassionate, and fierce, but Rex found his stray thoughts wandering back to Mari. She was every bit as stunning as Senator Amidala was, and he couldn’t help but imagine how beautiful she would have looked in that purple gown instead.

Rex imagined her plump, rosy lips, how soft they felt as they had enclosed around his, and how they quirked up at the corners in a suggestive, sultry smirk whenever she looked at him; her dark hair cascading in long, thick waves down her back like the blanketing depth of a midnight sky; the gentle swell of her breasts as she breathed; the dip of her tiny waist as it curved into the plush of her full thighs while she had straddled him in that booth. She was short, nearly a whole head shorter than him, but what she lacked in height she made up for in spirit. Fiery, bold, and intense like a tantalizing little vixen.

He could see her as clear as day, even now with his eyes closed as he recalled her from memory. Rex never thought he had a type, but he certainly couldn’t deny that he did now– voluptuous and beautifully soft in every place he touched, but also wickedly daring and ambitious.

He had to be more careful with that train of thought because it led to one very unbearable consequence that was making his codpiece extremely uncomfortable. He let out a heavy sigh and forced his eyes open, hoping that he could find something off-putting in this room full of people that could calm him down.

His eyes darted around the room from one ugly outfit to the next, focusing on one overly bloated Twi’lek male senator who wore a robe the most hideous shade of green Rex had ever seen. It made his stomach turn as it reminded him of the green Geonosian guts he had plastered all over his brand-new helmet by the end of the Battle of Geonosis, but it had the intended effect. His body was so revolted by the sight and his traumatic memory that every ounce of arousal rapidly receded.

Ahsoka stood beside him, scanning the left side of the room, which gave Rex the entrance and the right half of the space as Senator Amidala began her speech. While she thanked the crowd for their generous donations and for taking the time out of their busy lives to show up tonight, he only picked up on every fourth word or so, instead focusing on the office’s outer perimeter. He didn’t have to listen to the humdrum of political conversation to stay on task, content to just ignore it until he heard the one sound he never expected in a million lightyears.

Her name.

“I want to thank my incredible junior senate assistant, Miss Mariella Vontas, for helping organize this wonderful event tonight. Mari, we couldn’t have done this without you.” Senator Amidala raised her hand to gesture to someone beside her, just out of Rex’s line of sight.

He whipped off his helmet and stepped in front of Ahsoka, moving until he found a gap in the crowd that allowed him a perfect visual. He froze in place, every limb stiffening and jaw dropping open in utter shock he couldn’t contain. The sight before him simultaneously stopped his heart and made every drop of blood in his veins drain down to fill the space now swelling between his legs.

Mari stood just a few feet to the left of Senator Amidala, raising her champagne flute and bowing her head graciously at the recognition. Tight, satin fabric in a brilliant cobalt blue hugged the curves of her body perfectly down to her mid-thigh and then flared out to leave a train of blue fabric in her wake. It was barely held up by delicate straps and a plunging neckline that caged in her breasts. Long, dark curls pooled on her bronzed shoulders and swayed behind her back as she turned to smile at her team around her, but the gaze of her brown eyes–his favorite thing about her–seemed to cut through the crowd like a dangerously sharp, seductive weapon only to meet his shocked stare.

She ripped the very breath from his lungs and he stood there, staring in hopeless longing and tuning out everything else around him. She was here. When all Rex wanted was to see her again, here she appeared before him like a gift from the Force itself. She fucking worked for his general’s secret wife, the irony of which was not lost on him.

He’d just gotten shot in the chest a week prior, but her being here now felt more like a heart attack than that. He was so lost in his waking daydream that he didn’t even feel Ahsoka shaking him.

“Rex! Psst… Rex! Do you see something? Are you alright?” Ahsoka whispered, moving around him to follow his line of sight directly to where Mari stood.

“Hmm? What? OH! No, yeah, I’m–I’m, uh–I’m fine,” Rex stammered in a pathetic attempt to string words together. “So… so fine.” He trailed off as Senator Amidala’s speech ended, watching Mari turn around and saunter out of the door at the far end of the room. He was probably drooling, but he could not be bothered by anything in the universe enough to care.

Ahsoka looked between him and the woman a few times before the realization seemed to dawn on her. “Oh,” she said softly, covering her gasp with her hands. All the inner turmoil she had been sensing off him in waves made sense to her now. She gave him a knowing glare and smirked mischievously. “So that’s why you’ve been so off today.”

Rex just stood there gawking at the only person he’d been thinking about all day, realizing that now was his only chance. After the second raging bulge behind his codpiece died down, of course. He couldn’t embarrass himself further in front of this many people. Unless of course, she asked him to. Whatever she wanted, he’d do it. He’d do embarrassing, unspeakable, definitely unsanctioned things with, for, and to her any time she asked.

After the crowd of Senator Amidala’s colleagues had filtered out of the room, Rex let his feet mindlessly carry him to the banquet hall to take up his next post. He gripped his bucket in one hand and balled his other into a fist to keep himself from shaking as he spotted the shocking blue satin of Mari’s dress again across the room.

“Oh, Sith Hells… Commander, that’s her,” he breathed, rooted to the spot as the crowd around him dissipated to their tables. He watched as Mari enjoyed her drink, the bubbling golden liquid slipping through the lips he could still taste on his tongue. Luckily for him, Ahsoka was quick on her feet and guided him to a less conspicuous corner of the room.

“The girl from the bar that Hardcase was talking about?” Ahsoka pieced together, sneaking a glance at her over Rex’s shoulder.

“Yeah. We met at the bar before Saleucami, and I… I forgot to comm her. And now she’s fucking here. Commander, I’m awake, right?” Rex laughed nervously, now suddenly aware that he had no plan whatsoever.

Ahsoka snapped two fingers in front of his eyes. “Relax, Captain. Calm down,” she giggled. “This is funny. It's like I found your panic button.”

Rex’s jaw clenched in apprehension. He needed guidance right now and actually found himself wishing Fives were here to help him instead. “Commander, what do I do? I wasn’t expecting to find her here.”

“Rex. You’ve fought side-by-side with me through dozens of battles, faced impossible odds, survived being shot in the chest six rotations ago, and you’re falling apart because of a girl you barely know?” she teased, punching his shoulder pauldron. “C’mon, you’re better than that. Get it together and just go talk to her.”

Ahsoka was right. He could handle this. He’d gotten her attention once before, he could do it again. “Cover for me?”

“Yes, of course,” she smiled, urging him forward with a shove. Rex headed toward the table hearing his little sister grumble, “Ugh… boys,” under her breath as he left his post beside her.

When he went to sleep last night thinking of seeing Mari in person again, this was not the environment he had in mind. He was at a gross strategic disadvantage with no leverage whatsoever. He wasn’t even supposed to be leaving his post for anything short of a massive security breach. But hell, if Skywalker could bring an entire battalion to a low-risk mission at a Republic fundraising gala just to hang out with his wife, then Rex could take this chance to go after the girl of his dreams.

Luckily, the table reserved for Senator Amidala’s aides was tucked against a wall, so he could slip up to her without drawing too much attention. However, as he made his way over, all the confidence he possessed seemed to evaporate away all at once. By the time he got there and made eye contact with her, his tongue was stuck to the roof of his dry mouth and his peripheral vision had gone blurry. She was staring at him with a mixture of shock and inquisition, and only then did he realize he had nothing to say.

You kriffing di’kut. he thought to himself. What made you think this was a good idea?

notes: hehehe I love writing Rex's POV more than anything on earth I think. :) also keep watch over my unwritten references, oc: mari vontas and rex and mari🥺 tags for extra little bonuses and brain rot about these two and my various fics about them.

taglist coming soon. im working on a google form for it. ill let yall know when thats ready so you won't miss any updates :)

#wip unwritten #wip unwritten chapter 2 #captain rex x oc: mari vontas #captain rex x oc mari vontas #oc: mari vontas #captain rex x oc #captain rex fanfic #captain rex fanfiction #rex and mari🥺#the clone wars fanfiction #the clone wars fic writers

67 notes · View notes

multi-fan-dom-madness · 7 months

Note

For the OC ship game, may I humbly ask for thoughts and/or thots on Ilani x Rex? 💕

Or! Ilani x Hunter? Whichever you're vibing with more 👀

deeja! love the way your mind works, friend. I couldn't choose (typical bi behavior, woops), so have HCs for both! everything below the cut.

Ilani x Rex

How they met:

Through Anakin, as fate would have it. As the former Padawan of her best friend, Anakin considers Ilani like a big sister or an aunt and can’t wait to introduce her to his captain. “One of my best men,” he boasts, a proud smile on his face as Rex offers his hand for Ilani to shake. “One of the best men I’ve ever met, really.”

Ilani raises an eyebrow at that. Not in surprise, but in interest. Anyone who earns the praise of Anakin Skywalker must be worth their salt.

It’s not long after being introduced that they have a chance to fight together on the battlefield. Ilani immediately understands why Anakin praises Rex so highly; his strategy and care for his men is unparalleled among the GAR, and she respects him for it right off the bat.

She honestly kind of fumbles the first battle, though. It’s still early enough in the war that she hasn’t yet adjusted to a bellicose existence, still preferring a negotiation over a firefight, and because of this she really only defends herself and the men. In this particular battle, she remains on the defensive until it is clear she must go on the offensive, and even then, it’s only after Rex has a close call that she is spurred into action.

General HCs:

Rex doesn’t begrudge Ilani for her actions in that battle, recognizing that the Jedi Order she was raised under instilled very different values from the soldier’s training he received on Kamino, but she’s not felt quite so embarrassed or inadequate in a long time as he tells her this. It makes her feel like a Padawan, and that more than anything forces her to reevaluate.

In general, the two of them get along amicably. Partly this is because they spend most of their time together either strategizing, or in the heat of battle. Ilani initially shares some of Anakin’s wholly-positive praise of Rex. It’s only once Rex convinces her to spend time with him not thinking about the war that she realizes that she’s pedastalized him. Like the rest of the clones, he’s a whole human, with strengths, yes, but also deep flaws.

Loyal to a dangerous fault, encouraged to think for himself but threatened with doing things by the book, the Rex that Ilani comes to know off the battlefield is frustrated, disillusioned, and short. She knows it’s not aimed at her; she’s not perfect, either, but together they work on themselves.

They’re honestly platonic soulmates. They vibe well, they understand one another, and they help the other grow. Neither of them have had much romantic experience, so at some point Ilani confessed to him feeling something for him. They kissed, and immediately both decided, nope! This is weird, like kissing a family member.

They’ve been close friends for years now, though.

Ilani x Hunter

How they met:

Through Cody. The Batch gets an assignment that requires a Jedi, and Cody can think of no one better than his general’s best friend. Cody rightly assumes that Ilani’s fierce loyalty and steadfast compassion will be exactly what the boys of Clone Force 99 need.

This is, of course, the Bad Batch’s frat-era, and Hunter is as cocky as Ilani is stubborn. They butt heads nearly immediately.

The tension between them nearly bungles the mission. Thankfully, some quick thinking by Tech and some truly impressive theatrics by Crosshair save the day. Ilani and Hunter spend the flight back to base in frustrated silence, sitting at opposite ends of the ship. But by the time they drop out of hyperspace, Ilani, having meditated on it, requests that Hunter remain so they can talk. The others dutifully file out and, once the ship is otherwise empty and the hatch shut, Ilani apologizes.

Hunter is taken aback, but seems to believe her, and offers an apology of his own. “Truce?” “Truce.” In all honesty, they both realize that they disagreed so strongly because they’re highly similar: both are strong and competent leaders, both believe they know what’s best, and both want what’s best for their men. They just had very different ideas of how to fulfill all of those traits.

General HCs:

From then on, whenever CF99 needs a Jedi, they (and by “they” I mean Hunter) request Ilani. She almost always obliges. The others aren’t stupid, they know that these two idiots have feelings for one another, but Crosshair makes sure that Tech and Wrecker don’t kark things up for their big brother. Hunter needs to come to the conclusion on his own.

They’re constantly touching one another. Ilani rests her hand on Hunter’s back as she scoots past him in the Marauder; he bumps her with his elbow when he cracks a joke that she deadpans at. She casually brushes hair out of his eyes once and he nearly short-circuits.

Hunter appreciates that Ilani doesn’t feel the need to fill every silence with chatter, unlike some Jedi (Skywalker). He often finds himself sitting near her when she meditates before and after missions. Studying her features, wondering what she’s meditating on, wondering if she can sense the way his heart leaps when he imagines just leaning over and— He gets up quickly, retreating before he does something stupid.

They still argue, tempers flaring when they disagree on how best to complete a mission; these spats typically end with both of their chests heaving and funny feelings in their stomachs, like...butterflies?

NSFW HCs:

It’s actually after one such argument, about something pointless, that everything comes to a head. Hunter had gotten in her face, the pair of them nearly the same height, anger etched into every line on his face. Ilani had her teeth bared, but Hunter is closer to her than he’s ever been, and her eyes inadvertently drop to his lips for just a moment—but Hunter saw. And decided enough is enough.

They are the most intensely passionate lovers on their own, and together every moment of intimacy is incredibly sensuous. Between his enhanced senses and her own (thanks to her montrals), they both learn the other’s body, reactions, and tells quickly. At some point, all it takes for her to work him up is a series of featherlight touches and one very pointed look, and then he can’t wait to pin her to the wall and fuck her senseless.

Their sexual relationship, like their emotional one, is rather give-and-take. More often than not, Ilani ends up on top, riding Hunter for all she’s worth—but when he feels like it, he can easily grab her hips and change the pace. It infuriates her as much as it makes her lose her mind, falling apart for him with little effort.

It’s also not uncommon for their dalliances to oscillate between feverish, rushed fucking to slow and tender lovemaking, complete with eye contact and soft caresses of one another’s faces.

Ye Olde Ragu Liste: @the-hexfiles @thorsterstrudle @dystopicjumpsuit @clonemedickix @freesia-writes @littlemissmanga @wolffegirlsunite @anxiouspineapple99 @wings-and-beskar @sinfulsalutations @523rdrebel @sunshinesdaydream @moonlightwarriorqueen @sev-on-kamino @starrylothcat @deejadabbles @starqueensthings @mandos-mind-trick @idontgetanysleep @eyeluvmusic21 @wizardofrozz @mythical-illustrator @sleepycreativewriter @dreamie411 @bobaprint @imarvelatthestars @originalcollectionartistry @droids-you-are-looking-for @goblininawig @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @9902sgirl if your name has a strikethrough, I can't tag you so check your settings! (if you'd like to be added or removed, click here!)

#my ocs #star wars oc #hunter x oc #rex x oc #oc: jedi master ilani taryn #rhiwrites #rhiplies

11 notes · View notes

felixcosm · 6 months

Note

I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT REX TOWNSEND

Oh boy, he's. He's the worst. He's lame! I'm publically Anti-Rex, I hate him, I think he deserves NOTHING.

He started out as a virus (who everyone just calls Vir) that went around terrorizing the tsp roleplay community until I thought 'hm what if this guy used to be human'.

So I drew up the idea of Rex, a vile, nasty man who was created to showcase the worst of the worst, a man no one could love, a guy whose existence made the world around him a worse place to be in.

And as soon as I did, everyone started simping for him (which is one of the reasons I hate him /hj) and he ended up getting a lot of love and attention.

Both Vir and Rex took turns terrorizing Cas, except Rex actually ended up getting feelings for him.

Rex has a bunch of partners, including Raphael (who is @/carmenbathwater's oc), Mary Belle (who is @/sunnysynergy's oc), Cas (@/networksupported), and Austin (@/theyashirocommission). He also has three kids Coda and Seven (@/darkandlightsides) and Malachi (@/carmenbathwater).

He ended up getting his arm ripped off by darkandlightside's virus oc Loveletter, who is inspired by the ILOVEYOU virus, given a prosthetic arm which is now possessed by Eric (@/veracosmic's 432 oc).

Sometimes I like to send my other OCs to terrorize Rex, and he's had a nice peaceful run but he's probably going to return to his murder-spree ways soon and only part of that is inspired by the fact that he lost the title of Tumblr Sexyman to Cas.

His blog is @clickonmedotexe!

#ltacryptid #asks #my ocs #rex townsend #horrible man!!#clickonmedotexe #i hate him and i wish him a very Die #tho no one tends to agree with me 🙄 /j

8 notes · View notes

jessepinwheel · 5 months

Note

🤯😅⛔ for the emoji questions!

sorry for the delay on this one I literally forgot it was in my inbox

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

at the risk of sounding like an arrogant prick I don't feel like I struggle that much with most writing. writing stories are all pretty similar from a methodological standpoint I think, whether it's romance or action or horror, it's just a question of what kind of messages/emotion you want to get across through what strategies.

but that's not a super helpful answer. I guess things I don't really write a lot are romance? (although I'm not sure I'd say that either because relationships are a huge part of my stories, just not ones that involve kissing) and I guess also smut because I mostly find it boring and have no desire to write it

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

well there's like 6k of a Supernatural casefic in one of my folders featuring one of my OCs does that count?

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

well probably the most prominent one is transistor, that one obi-wan time loop story that I wrote like 30k for and then decided to stop writing because making it the way I wanted it was either going to require deleting like 10k words or to go on for way too long

there's also an a companion piece to dielectric breakdown (called corona discharge) which was going to pretty much be a rex point of view story covering parts of the main story and how he dealt with cody leaving, but I decided that I was not adding anything useful enough to really follow through all the way

but besides that I have a lot of unfinished works in my writing folder that I'm not entirely sure I'll come back to but which I also haven't officially axed. to name a few:

jamais vu: the ace attorney fic where phoenix goes back in time and ends up pretending to be his own uncle

houndstooth: a blackwell series fic where after the events of the last game rosa has amnesia and now joey has to deal with both having a body and also that

entrainment: a bleach fic that's kind of a pokespe fusion where ichigo gets pokemon and also accidentally makes a contract with pokemon satan (giratina)

event horizon: the kirby fic in which meta knight deals with ptsd after being stuck in the mirror from amazing mirror

memento: a pokemon sun/moon fic in which nanu gets fucking owned and washes up on the shore amnesiac because unbeknownst to him he just got eaten by a dimensional wormhole and he appears to be in a world where he died or disappeared a long time ago

eutectic: a naruto fic where kakashi gets sent back in time to an alternate dimension where kannabi bridge went fine and alternate world kakashi grew up to be an asshole so our kakashi decides to solve the plot of naruto by causing problems on purpose (committing lots of murder) and making life really annoying for alternate world asshole kakashi and also becoming haku's murder dad

I have a lot of stories that will probably never see the light of day, y'all just don't see them since I don't post anything unless they're done or there's a really solid plan to finish them

send me fanfic writer emoji asks

#ask jesse

7 notes · View notes

ailani-reillata · 3 months

Text

The Acolyte - Chapter Nineteen: The Padawan

Oc Centric - Multichapter - 13.5k - Rated T

Summary: The Separatist Crisis has reached its peak. War looms throughout the galaxy, casting a dark, bloody shadow over the thinning ranks of the Jedi Order. The end of civilization has already started. This is the story of Jedi Acolyte Ailani Réillata. Her end has just begun.

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen, Chapter Sixteen, Chapter Seventeen, Chapter Eighteen,

AO3 Version

(Please see the AO3 version for the full list of tags and warnings BEFORE reading.)

———

“Without humility, courage is a dangerous game.”

Time passed strangely after that.

The death of Even Piell left an odd hole in Ailani's heart, one she didn't quite understand. She hadn't even known him well, nor had he played a significant role in raising her. Yet his death stained her like spilled wine, tainting everything in red.

When High Council Master Trebor died in the first battle of Geonosis, Ailani selfishly and cruelly never thought of his absence. He was never around much, and perhaps part of her simply wished to pretend he was on another long journey. Yet something about Master Piell's death had demanded Ailani's acknowledgment. Maybe it was her closeness with Ahsoka or her own involvement in the incident, but his absence gnawed at her, picking away at fragments of her mind.

He was swiftly replaced by Depa Billaba, who had stepped down a few months into the war. But now she was back, filling a seat that should have never been emptied. Life felt exactly the same, and yet completely different.

Ailani's dreams became stranger in his absence. The glowing eyes of the Council and bloodied hands of soldiers fought for her attention, prying restful nights from her already loose grip. The long-dead buried her under blood-soaked dirt, red lightsabers melted her face, and blurry droids tortured her endlessly without ever asking questions. She dreamed of the Citadel, too, drowning in the lava, losing Echo in a crowd, or killing Master Piell herself. It was hard to even think of those dreams, for the gore of it all was too much.

Life continued, but the galaxy seemed unsteady.

To her credit, Ailani did try to move on. She welcomed Depa back, took attentive notes, asked the right questions, and, most importantly, kept silent unless spoken to. Everyone pretended Ailani's breakdown never happened, and she merely returned the favor and did whatever she was told. If she simply tried harder, perhaps she could fix whatever had been broken.

Friendships returned to a tense normal. Ailani dropped by the 501st barracks, training with Rex or merely chatting with Ahsoka. The Padawan was much quieter these days, lost somewhere in her own head. Still, Ailani grasped at the straws of their former friendship, calling frequently and offering meals or training sessions. Often, Ahsoka just sat there while Rex and Ailani talked over breakfast. Whatever they had seen in the Citadel had shaken them all greatly. But at least Ahsoka was alive. That was good enough.

Most people didn't even have life. Echo's bunk remained empty. Everyone pretended not to notice when Fives cried over breakfast. Sometimes, Ailani swore she heard Master Piell's voice. At least Ahsoka was alive.

Even Ailani's original friendships returned. Boost helped her fix R3, Wildfire taught her makeshift remedies and treated her headaches, and Comet brought her contraband from far-off worlds. Wolffe laughed at her jokes. He laughed. He lit up. He looked at her with glimmering eyes. Tension existed, but it did not define them. They were walking on shattered glass, but no one seemed to mind. Ailani certainly didn't. She wanted every laugh his lungs contained. She wanted every second of ruin.

The endless distraction and trembling game of touch-and-go only worked for so long.

So when the Felucia support team requested volunteers, Ailani's hand shot up first. She needed a change of scenery before all the temple hallways blurred together, and fresh air would grant clarity where dreams had not. Besides, the 104th was going to, and Ailani needed Wolffe's company just as much as she needed the clear sky. She needed him just as much as she needed the wilting flowers that haunted her bedroom.

By the time the 104th arrived on Felucia, Anakin, and Ahsoka had been on the planet for weeks already, pushing the boundaries of their endless clash with the Separatists. There was hard work ahead, but the air was clean, and Wolffe talked to her. Nothing else mattered.

Ailani took a deep breath, delirium soaking all thoughts. She had been walking for at least three hours, yet the planet's majesty was brighter than any ache in her legs. The forest was alive with endless plants she had never heard of, much less seen, and every organism was alight with a gentle glow. It was even more stunning at night with the sun gone and the foliage shimmering against the darkened sky.

Despite the circumstances, the war, the pain of the past few months, and the walking and the exhaustion, Ailani was suddenly very thankful that the Council had let her accompany the support team, if only so she could see the wonder of this planet up close.

The past two days had been precisely what Ailani had needed, as long as she could block out the sound of distant blaster fire. The instant meals were terrible; sleeping on the ground made all her joints ache, but Ahsoka laughed, and people smiled, and battlefield games were better than dying. Yesterday, Ailani had even been allowed to join the troopers for target practice, and Wolffe had been standing so close to her, his breathing so steady and sure. All Ailani's shots had missed, and every time Wolffe laughed, her aim got worse. It was delightful.

"So, fancy new jetpack, huh?" Ailani asked, breaking the silence and looking at Wolffe.

He was walking beside her, helmet under his arm, all sternness and seriousness fading the second the scouting information had been gathered and their walk back to camp had begun. It was hours of silence and endless memorization, but finally, after so many half-hearted jokes, he smiled at her. It was unusual for him to ease up so easily and fall into casual conversation, but then again, everything about their relationship had been unusual lately. The dance of it all made her head spin. They seemed to be friends again, at least, almost friends.

Though the very core of his ease was this: something had shifted in the hot air of Lola Sayu. Some longing had been admitted, some need laid bare, some shame revealed and acknowledged, and it had been enough to bring them back together. But it had not been enough to return them to their normal closeness.

Up until now, they had even avoided being alone together, though Ailani found she desired nothing more. She felt almost fearful of being caught in his company, but dreamed of nothing else. They talked, but not about anything super personal. They already knew everything about each other, yet he felt so strangely far away. Ailani knew nothing and yet everything. She didn't understand him but felt as if she could crawl between his ribs.

With his acceptance and comfort, Ailani found that her guilt had morphed into something much more dangerous. The longing glances yet curt conversations. That strange aching in her gut she knew could be silenced with a kiss. A kiss that he hadn't seemed to regret, and she wasn't sure she regretted anymore, either. The act had eaten her alive for months, and all it had taken was reassurance from him to change her entire perspective. A hand on hers, a stare that lasted a little too long. Brown eyes that made her legs shake. Warmth and blaster oil. Wolffe made her weak and vulnerable, and maybe Ailani liked it. The Jedi Order was against attachment anyway, not kissing.

But Ailani wasn't supposed to be thinking about any of that. So she didn't.

"Yeah." Wolffe said, his eyes still lazily scanning the terrain, "The General says we're gonna need it for the assault."

Ailani hummed. The droid outpost they would be attacking later that week had walls higher than most buildings, and with their ambush coming from three separate fronts, one would need the Force or flight even to attempt an attack. Wolffe’s jetpack shone in the light, glimmering with power and strength. Everything about him sang a song of authority and perfectly manicured ability. Ailani loved it. She loved it so much.

"You ever had one?" Wolffe asked, causing Ailani to bark out a humorless laugh. She was a mess compared to him, her uncertain edges and unworthy bones. His loyalty and integrity made her feel small. She loved that too.

"When I was a kid," Ailani offered, "My Father tried to train me, but I don't remember it going well."

In truth, Ailani never remembered any of her training going well, but jetpacks had certainly gone awry if memory served her right. Then again, it hardly ever did. Ailani only remembered her Father in shadow and shade—vague forms that were almost memories. Nevertheless, it felt good to mention her parents to someone casually. Since the appearance of Duchess Satine, Wolffe had become the only person in the galaxy Ailani spoke of her parents with, even if she never desired to talk in depth. He knew her heritage now, and weighing the mystery of her chest felt so good. It felt good to be herself. Every aspect of herself. Even if there is some tension between them now.

Wolffe smiled, a devious, sarcastic look, "Yeah, you don't have a great track record with heights."

Ailani scoffed, shoving him playfully, even as her hands burned the second they touched his shoulder, "Did you ask to come with so that you could mock me?"

"Maybe. Only a little," Wolffe replied, regaining his balance and moving back to walk beside her, letting their fingers linger close enough to brush every few paces.

They lapsed back into silence, walking between the trees as daylight began to die and glimmers of light danced across the forest floor. Rainbows caught between branches, sunlight broke across multicolored plants, and suddenly, the entire forest reminded Ailani of the neon lights of Coruscant. The bright colors mixing and matching, oranges, and pinks casting strange shadows on Wolffe's face, and suddenly she was back outside the medical center, watching him breathe under neon lights, tangerine light in his eyes, and aquamarine shadows on his face.

Perhaps it was the exhaustion and ache in her muscles speaking, but the thought would not leave. That first brush with warmth, that first glimmer of sun. That night, Ailani had fallen to her lowest point, and even there Wolffe had brought strength. Beautiful, merciful, wonderful strength. She had needed him so desperately, and he had found her under glowing lights.

As daylight abandoned them and the light of Felucia filled her head, all Ailani could think about was how wonderfully beautiful Wolffe was. It felt strange to think about someone who repeatedly reminded her that there was nothing individual about his appearance, yet Ailani kept finding the thought in her mind anyway. He didn't look like everyone else to her, no matter how many beings in the galaxy shared his face. As far as she was concerned, no one in existence looked like him. No one's smile was quite as warm, no one's frown quite as deep. No one's eyes were as endless and as knowing as he were, and no shade of brown or gray eyes as complimentary on anyone else's face. He was so individual, unique, and utterly known to her. The evening light only drove these feelings deeper into her skull, forcing the thoughts to the front of her mind as lights adored his face. There was no one like him in the entire universe. Not to her anyway.

Wolffe was unlike anyone Ailani had ever known. He wore titles like masks, his true heart ever elusive and lost. The mask he wore around strangers was cold and controlled. He remained silent yet scathing, his eyes speaking of disapproval and disinterest. The edges of this mask were harsh, and Ailani found herself grateful that she had never known that mask despite everything. She had only known the second face. The second skin. The mask he wore around her was sarcastic and secretive. Witty but not scathing. Sharp but not cutting. He was like glass, cool yet sharp. So few saw this mask—the glimmer of mischief in his eyes before a cutting remark. The gears of his mind turned in endless intensity. The teasing laughter. The knowing. He was so incredible and yet so hidden.

When they had first met, hope still seemed bright, and the ignorance of youth covered everything. Both of them had been softer. Even though Wolffe had gotten sharp with her, he had never gotten cruel. Both of them still clung to the innocence of their first meeting. They both clung to lives that were long gone. Neither of them were those people on Kamino anymore. Those beings had been slain long ago. But the relationship between them paid honor to the dead. The two of them had been many things during this war, but they had never been strangers. Ailani felt as if they just met, and yet felt like she had known him forever.

These thoughts danced in Ailani’s head, and suddenly, Wolffe was staring at her. They must have stopped walking at some point because her feet were firmly planted on the ground, the rest of the world still and silent with her, including him.

"You okay?" Wolffe asked, but it didn't sound like a question. His words were so low, and there was an edge to his tone, something dangerous and oh-so compelling. Could he read her mind? Was he lost too? Was he just as tired?

Suddenly, Ailani remembered how desperately lonely she had been since his departure, the ache of isolation so known in her stomach eating away at her flesh. Those eyes she kept seeing in dreams would not leave her face, and Ailani suddenly remembered why they avoided being alone because, despite her best efforts, gravity pulled her closer, and the truth she didn't want to speak spilled from her like blood.

"Back on Christophis…" Ailani breathed, unable to restrain the words, "Did you mean that?" It was a dangerous line of questioning, but she couldn't stop. Where had that come from? Where had any of this come from? Why couldn’t she stop?

Wolffe tilted his head, inclining it just slightly to hers. Ailani's head began reeling, spinning circles around her senses. Her chest was so tight, and her breath so quietly ragged. He was staring at her so intensely, knowing and wonderful. Sometimes, it felt like she could get lost in his gaze and never resurface. Willfully sink until there was nothing left. The pull was undeniable, and even now, Ailani found herself leaning into him so close that if she breathed wrong, their lips might brush, and something about it was delightfully terrifying. Despite the beautiful way her heart was fluttering, something in the back of her mind ached. This was wrong. This was so wrong—

"Did you mean it?" He murmured, and Ailani caught her breath as his words brushed against her lips.

The ground was spinning, or maybe it was just the tremble in her legs. Wolffe's voice was so low, so delicately uncertain. How strange for him. Something else is written behind his senses, hidden behind his dark eyes, something Ailani couldn't quite find. Perhaps it was the trick of the glowing trees, but it almost looked like something Ailani was too fearful to name.

The galaxy shifted as soon as the words fell from her lips, and her world gravitated a little closer to his. And that was all it took for them to fall back into place.

Unlike their first kiss, the moment now did not taste like blood and tears. Instead, the world was suddenly filled with a sickly sweet aroma, strong and complexly warm, swimming in Ailani's head as each breath she stumbled through only seemed to drown her in his heavy bittersweetness. He was so soft and warm, lips slightly chapped and yet easy and soft as summertime on Naboo. It made her head spin and her legs shake, and distantly, the part of Ailani that could still hold complex thoughts prayed that Wolffe didn't notice.

Memories of blood and tears lingered at the corner of her mind, thoughts of her first and last kiss, and yet its memory was not strong enough to sway her. This was different from last time. The very air felt different. She felt different. The scent of the battlefield was gone in the comfort of the forest, and Ailani felt neither rushed nor desperate. Instead, the painful dizziness that followed their first kiss was replaced with something just as intense yet not agonizing. The pit of her stomach that had been filled to the brim with guilt before was now empty of all emotions, and it desperately searched for fulfillment.

Each gentle movement, every shift of his lips against hers, made Ailani all the more aware of the hollow feeling in her gut. The pull was almost uncontrollable, and every soft gasp and touch made it worse until Ailani distantly decided that the sensation was like a certain kind of hunger, and she had spent all her life starved.

One of his hands was still on her face, warm and dizzying as his thumb ran circles onto her jawline, yet that was hard to focus on because his other hand had found her hip and pulled her tighter and closer against him. Her arms were around his neck, and she was holding him so tightly now her arms shook, or perhaps she was trembling from the feeling of the kisses he seemed to be suffocating her in. Yet Ailani could hardly register her movements because even his slightest touch sent her head so far into space she swore she would never come back down.

Then, as if her mere thoughts had jinxed them, a buzzing sound activated near Ailani's face, and even with her eyes closed, she caught the flicker of light that accompanied the sound. She almost jumped, yet the noise did not seem to move Wolffe; if anything, he seemed to pull her closer. And Ailani forgot about the sound entirely.

But it rang again. But Wolffe's hand on her waist made dizzying circles around the soft scar tissue, and it was hard to hear anything.

And it rang again.

On the third ring, Ailani's eyes fluttered open, the sound much louder than before, and just out of the corner of her vision, she saw Wolffe's comm flashing red. Vaguely, somewhere distant in her mind, Ailani knew the red light was probably bad. But her eyes refused to stay open, her vision falling in and out of focus as her eyelids fluttered uselessly.

Wolffe didn't seem concerned, leaving his hand tangled in her hair and letting the light blink red as he pressed smaller kisses along the corner of her mouth and trailing them down her jaw…

Ailani's legs buckled against her will, giving away beneath her, and she suddenly felt his grip on her tighten, holding her upright. He was laughing softly, his face pressed against her neck. The noise made her even dizzier.

"You should remember to breathe." He whispered against her skin, lips brushing at her pulse, and for a split second, Ailani swore the movement would make her faint. Had she really been holding her breath that long?

She wanted to say something back, something smart and at ease, but her mind was still scrambling for instructions on how to breathe. How was Wolffe so calm? She felt like she was—

Ailani suddenly had the horrible thought that this probably wasn't his second kiss, and their last kiss hadn't been his first. He was calm because he had done this before. She had never even considered kissing someone before meeting him, but Wolffe probably had experience. He knew more people than her, went out on leave often, left Coruscant more times than she had even dreamed of leaving, and probably met thousands of excellent, reasonable, and kissable beings. And he was charming, strange, intense, intelligent, and kissable. And other beings were so much braver, better, bolder than Ailani, and less argumentative and less antithetical, and they probably didn't waste so much time in their head imagining what kissing would be like; they probably just kissed like real people would.

Ailani's mind suddenly raced, but not from wonderful intoxication, but with listless nausea. Had he made someone else's hands shake the way hers trembled now? Had he held someone else tighter than he was holding her? Had someone else been closer to him? Had he made someone else's legs buckle like hers had?

That realization sobered Ailani up enough for a returning remark. "I think you need to get that," She said, and her voice came out cracked and breathy like she had just woken up, but the tightness she had woven in her chest was present in her tone, cutting the edge of her words like glass.

Maker, she was pathetic.

Wolffe paused, and the device went off again in the silence. He was still close to her, breath warming the skin below her jawline. She felt frozen, trapped in the sound in the moment and her own head.

The comm rang again.

His hand tightened around her hair momentarily, searching and clinging, almost as if he was making sure she was still real. Wolffe pulled his face away from hers, and the cold air that replaced him felt almost like drowning.

Ailani trapped a gasp of surprise in her throat, all jealousy and doubt replaced by the horrid fear that if he left, even for a moment, she would freeze to death, lost in the void of her heart. She felt so suddenly panicked that her dreamy, breathless gasps now sounded closer to a bubbling panic attack. Her eyes were wide and locked on his face as his eyes scanned hers.

Yet Wolffe's gaze was not panicked but slightly distant, glassy-eyed, yet still alert, searching, scanning, placing her panic, and pulling at threads in her expression. Yet there was something else there, too. A different sort of curiosity and inquiry. Even his cybernetic eye seemed impossibly dark and strange, filled with an emotion she could not place. He didn't look dazed or dizzy like she felt. Instead, he appeared…

What was that word she had used earlier?

Hungry.

"Right." He said, and his voice was impossibly low and distant. He was still staring at her, and then her Wolffe blinked once, twice, and when his eyes opened again, he was Commander Wolffe. The change happened so impossibly fast that the horrible thought from earlier returned just as quickly. Ailani felt as if she could never forget the invisible imprint he had stamped on her skin, yet he had blinked it all away in mere moments. He had fundamentally rewritten her life, and suddenly, Ailani worried that she was only a footnote in his.

But his arms were still wrapped around her, and despite her distressed mind, Ailani could not will her arms to move away from him either. She wanted him closer. She wanted him to leave. She wasn't exactly sure what she wanted at all. She wanted to be needed.

Wolffe answered the communication in a sharp and steady voice as if he had been merely standing around or filling reports when he had been interrupted. However, he did turn the camera on his device off.

"Wolffe." He said plainly, eyes focused on the small device with a slightly furrowed brow.

The airwaves crackled silently for a second, and then Sinker's voice rang through the transmitter, "The General wants you back for the official debrief."

"Acknowledged." Wolffe replied, "See you in five."

The dread was back in Ailani's heart, the fear of being left alone with her void. Five minutes? Is that all the time they had left together? Five minutes? Despite herself, Ailani felt her grip tighten. She must have suddenly grown pale because Wolffe pulled his attention back to her, all while still wearing the face of Commander. Yet after a moment, after he scanned her face two or three more times, his eyes softened.

"You okay?" Wolffe whispered, but it felt less like a question and more like a strange twist between playful banter and an accusation.

Ailani nodded slowly, not trusting her voice. She was being ridiculous, and yet the unease refused to leave her body. The creeping memory of their first kiss pulled at the corners of Ailani's mind, flickers of doubt and guilt seeping back into her soul. Guilt. Maybe that's what this was really about. Did she feel guilty? Wasn't she supposed to?

Wolffe didn't seem convinced, the lines in his face deepening. He slinked his hand up her neck and held her face, studying her carefully. He was looking at her with the same expression Ailani had seen the bomb battalions wear when defusing an explosive.

"You could tell me if something was wrong." Wolffe said, leaning into her space. He was using that same delicate voice that had gotten them into this mess, and the way he hovered near her made Ailani wonder if he thought that she would be more honest if he first made her delirious. Was he playing her? Was this a game? Did she really care?

Ailani nodded in response, not trusting her voice. She didn’t know anything.

Wolffe's comm chimed again, this time with a message, and he sighed, resting his forehead on hers, "Let's go."

Ailani didn't want to leave. The anonymity of the forest had granted her such peace, with no rules or code or prying eyes. She wasn't ready to be back yet. She needed to think. Everything kept spinning. She needed to be alone.

"You go ahead," Ailani said, her voice cracking, "I'll finish the route."

For a long moment, Wolffe's hand did not move from her face, his fingers still wrapped around strands of her hair. "Are you sure?" He asked, fanning warm breath across her face with his question that felt more like a longing for reassurance.

She didn't want to leave the woods, and he didn't want to leave her. Didn't he realize that back at camp, everything would be different? Back at camp, she was a Jedi. Here in the forest, she was just Ailani. Jedi had a code against this kind of thing. Ailani didn't. She wanted to lean forward and kiss him again, reminding him of why they couldn't go back and needed to stay out here, but she didn't trust her ability to stop. And the way he blinked away all closeness and affection in his eyes proved that he had a job. They both had jobs to do.

"If they wanted me there, they would have called," Ailani said, and her voice came out slightly bitter. Her comm had not made a single sound in hours. But she probably should have been thankful for that.

Wolffe sighed and stepped back, watching her closely, carefully, deliberately, "Alright." He confirmed, backing away and picking his helmet off the ground.

Oh, Maker, her chest felt tight. Please, please don't leave me.

He looked at her for a moment, studying her. His face was blank, yet Ailani could practically see the gears turning in his mind. He was thinking through every scenario and every invisible procedure the two of them had made over the years. Wolffe was analyzing her. Was he trying to make sure she didn't break down again? Was he trying to hold her together?

Everything was so confusing.

Then Wolffe stepped forward and fell back into her breath before pressing a burning kiss to the corner of her jaw, just below her ear. A rush of heat filled her head again, and for a moment, Ailani blinked away spots of light in her vision and fought against trembling legs.

"I'll see you later," He said against her skin, voice so low and breath so warm against her face. He didn’t pull away, and the silence dragged on for a long moment before Ailani could pull an answer from her throat.

"I'll see you later." She repeated.

Ailani had taken the long way back despite her muscles wishing for relief. Her legs had not stopped trembling since their kiss, and combined with the day's exhaustion and her constant ache from the Virus, Ailani wasn't sure how much more her body could take. Or her heart. It hadn't stopped pounding in her chest at Wolffe's absence, wishing to leap from her ribcage and pathetically chase after him.

How much more desperate could she get? Hadn't she made a big enough fool of herself already? Her head kept swimming, getting lost in half-finished ideas and thoughts, negative talk, and deliriously hopeless dreams getting mixed up in her mind and heart.

Ailani felt like she had crossed some threshold, but she neither felt accomplished nor heartbroken. After their first kiss, she had fallen into what could only be described as complete madness, but now she didn't feel the need to crumble or break. She didn't exactly feel the need to jump for joy, either.Isn't this what she had wanted? What she kept dreaming of? She wanted to talk to him and kiss away every worry with his constant reassurance. And she had. Yet, Ailani did not feel victorious. The Jedi Code kept gnawing at the back of her heart, preventing any accomplishment or joy. And the back of her mind kept thinking about all the other people Wolffe might have kissed. Why would he want her if other people existed?

All the reasoning Ailani had fooled herself with felt so hollow now. Of course, kissing wasn't forbidden, but that needy feeling in her gut was. Ailani knew she needed him, the closeness, the kisses, and the attention. She was attached to him. But was he attached to her? It was all so utterly forbidden. Still, the breaking of her core didn't seem to bother her anymore; frankly, that bothered Ailani more. She liked herself better when she was guilty and bleeding. Indifferent and empty was hard to hate.

By the time she had arrived at their base, the sun had long set, but light flooded the space courtesy of the bioluminescent wildlife. A group had formed in the middle of the camp, absent of the other Jedi and only composed of command clones, with food and items scattered about as the crew chuckled.

The group comprised Rex, Fives, Jesse, Kix, Comet, Boost, Sinker, and, most of all, Wolffe. Instant meals were in everyone's hands, and the mood seemed strangely light. Ailani couldn't pull her eyes away from Wolffe. He seemed so…normal. As if nothing had happened in the woods, as if life hadn't shifted and changed, as if they hadn't crossed into some unreachable point, some unforgivable place. What was wrong with the two of them? Ailani knew everything she had done wrong, and the guilt had nearly killed her the first time, but now she felt resigned and empty. Wolffe had stared at her with horror on Christophis, and now he was rolling his eyes at Fives' jokes and fighting off smiles.

Whatever place they had found together, whatever wound they had opened in the woods, it was a secret place, a quiet bleeding. They had both decided to keep it. Ailani didn't doubt that they would now make this a horrible, addictive habit. She had never known moderation, and that hungry feeling in her gut was too alluring. She prayed that he felt the same. She didn’t like sharing. She didn’t want to think of all those other, better beings.

Fives noticed Ailani’s approach first, pointing across the way to the command tent. "The other Jedi are in a strategy meeting," His face had a strange smirk gracing it, but his expression seemed to say he was, at least, attempting to be helpful.

"If they wanted me there, they would have called," Ailani said, tossing her hands in her pockets and deliberately refusing to face Wolffe. For some reason, Ailani found it so hard to look at him. The feeling was almost like the shame that had consumed her after their first kiss, yet it also felt entirely different. Her face felt hot, and all she wanted to do was stare at him, but her body would not let her, lest her cheeks burst into flames. "If I can get out of another boring meeting, I'll do it."

The group laughed, but the sound was oddly loose and unhinged, almost slurred. Then Ailani saw the alcohol Comet had snuck from Coruscant, and everything made sense.

"I should go," Ailani said, rocking her weight on her heels. She didn't exactly want to leave, but at the same time, she desired to flee. She could feel Wolffe staring at her, and as much as she liked it, as much as the burning warmed her, she also felt seconds away from exposing their entire secret. "Long day tomorrow." In truth, she didn't have anything at all to do tomorrow, but it was as good of an excuse as any. She was so dizzy.

"Why don't you sit?" Rex asked, patting the ground beside him. Now, it was even worse. If she did stay, she would have to sit next to Rex, and he was four people away from Wolffe. Ailani didn't know if she could stand being that far. Or that close.

"I don't wish to interfere." She tried.

Comet made a snorting noise in the back of his throat and waved her off, "We all know you don't have a bleeding heart. Stop acting like it and sit down."

Suddenly, Ailani found herself wanting to storm off just to prove a point, but Wolffe shot her a look with eyes lit up by the forest around them, and she sat down instantly. She was so weak.

"What are we celebrating?" Ailani said, trying to loosen the conversation back up.

"A day off tomorrow," Kix said, somewhat miserably. The medic seemed overworked, his eyes bloodshot and tired. How long had it been since he slept?

Now that the 104th had brought extra reinforcements, the 501st could finally breathe for a moment. How long had they been trapped on this planet without a single rest day? But with the 104th filling out the ranks, shifts, and assignments could be more evenly distributed.

"And getting off this rock," Fives added. "Now that you're here, we can pack it up sooner."

"Well, I like it here," Ailani said, unable to hold back her adoration for the glowing plant. She sounded almost wistful, and cursed her lovesick heart.

"Spoken like a girl who's never left Coruscant," Sinker mumbled, rolling his eyes. Typically, the action would have some playful sense behind it, but gazing upon his face, Ailani felt nothing but cold. That tension she had felt growing between everyone after Christophsis was so much worse now, and yet sometimes it disappeared as if it never existed. Sinker refused to look at her; occasionally, he laughed at everything she said. Maybe she was going crazy.

"No offense, but I think anything would seem nice compared to…" Fives covered over Sinker's social hiccup easily, trailing off with a playful implication.

"The temple, yeah." Ailani agreed. Even if it was a joke, he had a point. She was so beyond sheltered. She had been rendered immobile by a kiss. What a joke.

"I wasn't gonna say it." He raised his hands defensively, smiling, "But if you will…"

"Fives," Wolffe said warningly. His tone wasn't sarcastic but slightly scolding. Was he trying to stand up for her? Her lips burned.

"It's a bit stuffy," Ailani said. She tried to follow Fives' joke but felt strangely tense, "I get it."

"Here," Jesse handed Ailani the bottle as if he could sense the shift in mood.

Ailani held it for a moment, debating something. Her head already hurt. She had never sipped alcohol before. She was already losing her mind. This was a bad idea waiting to happen. Then Ailani drank it anyway. The liquor burned like fire down her throat and found its way into her stomach, eating away at her insides as a sickly sweet delirium started in her head.

And Ailani found she liked it.

For the place in her chest that was always burning felt quieter now in comparison to the fire that leaked down her throat. It was the same warmth she got from Wolffe and his horribly forbidden yet wonderfully addictive kisses. Burning and aching. Sinking to the pit of her stomach and pooled heat. It felt like the rush of stimulants. The taste wasn't wonderful, but the feeling was enough for her to survive on. Though her face must have said otherwise, because Boost began laughing.

"That bad, huh?" He asked, and everyone around her made strained sounds, muffled laughter perhaps.

"No," Ailani said, but her voice cracked, "I've never had alcohol before."

Sinker made a choked sound in his throat, and someone else was laughing hysterically–perhaps multiple someones–though most of the eyes now on her were wide and shocked, as if they had witnessed Ailani light herself on fire.

"Then that was too much," Wolffe said plainly, watching her face.

"Yeah," Ailani replied, blinking. "Probably."

They all laughed, and the sound was too loud and too echoing, but she didn't care because, for a moment, Ailani Réillata could not feel the black hole inside her chest. Everyone kept laughing and swapping stories that she had only read about in useless, tedious reports, and the way their faces came alive and how the planet was illuminated with them all spun happily in Ailani's head. She had never talked to people like this, warmly and at ease.

And she kept staring at Wolffe. More often than not, she caught him staring back. Glowing lights in his eyes, and his hair tousled by her hands. She could practically rewatch every second of their moment in the woods in the reflection of his gaze, studying every word they had said in the lines on his face. She needed to be closer.

But neither of them moved.

After the first bottle had been emptied, it hadn't taken long for everyone to make their way to their sleeping places slowly. They had a few full days of rest before the actual mission, and to others with a higher tolerance than her, this would cause no problems, but Ailani knew she needed as much sleep as possible to erase the sickness and haze that engulfed her.

But that wasn't in the cards, nor was it what she wanted.

Her tent had been placed out on the outskirts of camp due to her loud nightmares, and the privacy and the alcohol were too tempting. It had only taken Wolffe ten minutes to come to the same conclusion. They fell together again before Ailani could even think about it or register why, and as if on instinct, as if she had done it a million times, she kissed him again.

Her head was spinning from the alcohol, and she kissed him hard, desperate and trembling, ignoring the pain and ache from effort that soaked every millimeter of her skin. That hunger in her gut had only gotten worse, and Ailani found that she needed closeness like air. She felt so dizzy and so confused but so intensely yearning and full of an emotion she couldn't even hope to name. She leaned forward, pushing herself deeper into his space and—

Ailani winced suddenly, the stitches in her stomach pulling unnaturally at her movements. Right. She still had stitches.

Wolffe pulled back, and instinctively, embarrassingly, she followed his movement, her eyes still fluttering and face furrowed, but his expression was suddenly grave and severe, "Are you alright?" He breathed, lightly pressing his thumb against her lip and halting any attempt at another kiss.

"I'm fine," Ailani replied, her voice cracked and hoarse. She sounded so desperately ridiculous and defensive, even to her ears, but she couldn't stop the way gravity pulled her closer. In truth, she probably pulled a stitch, but he didn't need to know that. Besides, what did it matter? She just needed to be close to him. Everything else was secondary. Her head swam.

Wolffe rubbed his thumb against her chapped lips and refused another kiss, "You sound fine."

"I am fine," She insisted, and this time, her voice almost sounded like a pathetic whine, "It's merely my… from Chistophisis." The truth spilled from her lips, brought forth from alcohol and delirium, but even in her dazed state, Ailani instantly knew that the truth had been a mistake.

Wolffe suddenly grew pale, and he pulled away from her, recoiling into himself like she was a cold wind. No. No. No. Panic began to flood Ailani, and instantly, without his warmth, she felt icy fear freeze her blood and halt her heartbeat. She wouldn't be able to stand being cold again. She wasn't strong enough, wasn't brave enough. She wouldn't be able to look at herself. She couldn’t take this.

"It's okay," Ailani said, grasping for his hands and trying to sound reassuring, "It's almost healed, I promise."

Wolffe’s face said he didn't believe her, but he melted into her touch, if only slightly. Maybe he was drunk too. Fear and memory had made him recoil, not her. That was comforting, at least. She needed proof. She needed something to show him that she was alive and real and fine and—

He lifted his hand, palm up, "Show me?"

Ailani nodded instantly and took his hand, and guided it to the slit in her wrapped tunic, searching fingers under the layers of her robe, finding the wounded and raw skin. His fingers grazed her side, and suddenly, the nerves and stitches burned to life under his touch. Ailani withheld a gasp, but the catalyst for it got lost in the dizzying sensation that flooded her head. It was hard to tell pain from the buzz of closeness and the pull of need. It all blurred together.

His eyes were closed like he was trying to imagine the injury in his mind as his thumb lightly traced over every stitch and dip in the skin. Ailani tried not to wince. He was delicate, but even so. He made everything burn, even her blood.

"I never said thank you," Ailani breathed, trying to regain words in her dry mouth, "For getting me out of there."

Wolffe shook his head, and the casual lightness and certainty disappeared from him, replaced by a worry that made Ailani uneasy. He seemed to be thinking hard, barely paying attention to the present as he traced endless circles over her healing wound with his thumb. The motion sent her nerves on fire, but the look on his face made her fall back down to the planet. It was so hard to nail down her thoughts. She didn’t want to think.

"I'm okay," Ailani said, but when the words fell, she knew they landed on deaf ears. Wolffe was somewhere else, somewhere beyond her. Was he back on Christophsis? Had it really been that bad? "I'm okay," She repeated, and finally, he opened his eyes and laid them back into hers, calculating and cold and so far away from her.

"I know," Wolffe replied, and Ailani knew it was time to drop the subject. When his hand left her side, her skin ached.

He didn't move to kiss her again, so they sat, foreheads pressed together, the warmth between them run cold by memories locked in crystal casing. Ailani had the sudden urge to cry. She ruined everything like this, with a doubting mind and stupid excuses. Wolffe was acting like she was fragile now, breakable and untouchable. An icon is placed on a shelf to collect dust. She couldn't stand it. She was real and alive and fine, and she needed him. Couldn't he see that? She didn't need another arms-length relationship, another fool who placed her on a shelf with the other dolls. She was real. She wasn't a title or an idea. She was real. She liked Wolffe so much because he never forgot who she was under all the pretense. But now…

"Can you stay?" Ailani said suddenly.

Wolffe pulled away from her, scanning her face for something unknown. The shock of her question seemed to wipe some of the worry from his face, but not enough.

She thought that idea might help, but his expression said her words did not ease him. She felt that perhaps if he slept beside her, they wouldn't have to move, and she couldn't open more stitches, but she could still remain close to him. Didn't he want to be close to her too?

Ailani's mind wandered back to that night outside the medical center, the first and only time she had had a dreamless sleep. They hadn't even kissed then, and he had still held enough power over her heart to chase away the dreams that plagued her. She would sleep beside him now, but he seemed to have other plans.

Wolffe shook his head, his eyes hiding all thoughts and glinting strangely in the dark. A rueful expression played on his face, but he said nothing.

Ailani felt herself frown, "Why?" She shouldn't have been asking, shouldn't have been prying, but her heart couldn't help itself, and the buzz of intoxication in her head wasn't helping.

Of course, she instantly saw his logic. Wolffe liked to sleep far away from the group, distant enough to observe everyone, but it would raise suspicion if he disappeared entirely for the whole night. But she just wanted him beside her while she slept. Ailani wanted something to ground her to the planet while nightmares tried to send her mind to places without names. She liked warmth next to her and arms around her, and she desperately wanted to hear the sound of his heartbeat just so she could remember that she, too, was still alive.

"You need to sleep." Wolffe said, "You're not yourself."

Ailani frowned even deeper, her brows furrowing. She felt ideally like herself, though with a pounding headache, but that seemed unrelated to whatever he meant. Also, she wanted to sleep. That's why she asked him to stay. If he left, the nightmares would return. She couldn't get proper sleep unless he remained.

"Okay." Ailani simply said, still confused and dazed but too scared to push. Her injuries had tried him enough. Wolffe didn't need her nagging.

But he kissed her three more times before he left.

And that helped.

The next four days passed with dizzying mundanity.

Since Ailani was only a consultant, her battlefield duties were limited. Most of her time was spent around camp, organizing supplies and trying to ignore the sound of distant blaster fire. She caught up on reports, analyzed strategies, updated the senate, and, most importantly, spent every hidden moment with Wolffe.

It was like a dream, the first pleasant dream Ailani had ever experienced.

During the day, both of them were busy with individual assignments and activities, but when the world grew dark, every second belonged to her. The secrecy and excitement of it all made her head spin, caught between heart and mind.

No one had ever held her before, wrapped her in arms that made her feel valued or precious. The attention was almost as dizzying as the kisses. At the same time, she felt grounded in a way that never seemed possible before, head in the clouds yet feet planted firmly on the planet below.

She felt steady. She felt real.

For the first time in her life.

Wolffe only stayed for a few hours, but every second was worth a hundred years. In truth, nothing much had changed. They talked about things they had always discussed, requesting the other's opinions on the day's events and the approaching battle. Only this time, every word was spoken in breathless whispers and the occasional kiss. They simply sat together, close and known. The quiet company seemed to do them both some good, for Wolffe seemed so tired at the end of every day, deep lines in his face and exhaustion written into his eyes. The gears of his mind were constantly turning, control and curiosity bleeding together.

It was strange seeing his mind up close. It occurred to Ailani that perhaps all Wolffe wanted was something to hold onto, or perhaps, something to hold together. He seemed to love unraveling the strands of her mind or picking apart the pieces of her soul. He liked knowing. Ailani wanted to be known.

Or perhaps…perhaps he just wanted a distraction.

She had been drawn to him because he seemed so certain and steady, but sometimes Ailani felt like they were floating together, lost in space and clinging to each other. Wolffe still had all the answers, and his strength never faltered, but something else was woven between those threads: something she didn't quite understand yet but something she greatly desired to know.

Most of all, Ailani didn't want to be alone anymore. She didn't want to be alone ever again. She liked talking about nothing and everything. She liked being listened to.

On the last night before the end, Ailani felt herself drifting off, her eyes blurry and unfocused. They had been writing reports all evening, sharing notes and screens, and speaking little. It was so wonderful. So, so, unbelievably wonderful. Her work was so isolating, so empty. Wolffe made everything worthwhile. She didn't want the night to end. She didn't want to sleep. She didn’t want anything besides this moment.

"Do you want to do something fun?" Ailani asked, forcing sleep into the back of her mind.

Wolffe smiled down at her, slightly puzzled, "I've still got work." His breath smelled like delightfully dizzying spirits.

The strange drink Comet had brought had been such good company, too. It dulled pain like stimulants had, and the tension always seemed to ease after a few sips. Ailani liked seeing Wolffe relaxed. It was so rare.

Ailani smiled, "I saw this massive cave on our first scouting trip. I heard even the gems here glow." Ailani spoke in a hushed, almost wonderstruck tone. She had wanted his closeness, his warmth. She wanted the drinking, dizziness, and gods…she had wanted and wanted her whole life.

Wolffe shook his head, almost sadly but slightly amused, "Too dangerous."

Ailani sat up, taking his amusement as encouragement, "You have three sharpshooting medals, and I have a lightsaber. We can handle dangerous."

Something strange crossed Wolffe's face, something Ailani didn't understand. He suddenly seemed almost angry, "This isn't a game." The words were sharp but unfocused, almost like he wasn't speaking to her.

Ailani faltered, "I know. I wasn't…” She regretted that extra glass now because the world was spinning, and her words seemed childish and stupid.

He was definitely angry now. But at what? What had she done? How could she take it back? Panic rose in Ailani's heart, but the liquor and exhaustion masked it.

Wolffe scanned her face, expression unreadable, "You should go to bed." He powered down his datapad, "You're tired."

He left without another word. Or another kiss.

The galaxy ended when the actual mission arrived.

Dawn came anxiously. Ailani bit her nails and pulled at the cracked skin on her lips. The tension from last night seemed stronger in the daylight, with all liquor-induced haze gone and only a pounding headache remaining. She had done something horribly wrong, or perhaps she had misspoken. Ailani wasn't entirely sure and didn't have the strength to ask Wolffe directly. He had been so curt, so dismissive. Perhaps their relationship didn't exist outside of her tent. Maybe she had been foolish to ask for any secret adventure.

What even was their relationship? Ailani couldn't wrap her head around the kisses and laughter. None of it made sense or seemed real. They were both so exhausted, so overworked, and worn down. Maybe they were just…letting off steam? Is that what other people did? Was kissing relaxing for other people? It certainly wasn't relaxing for Ailani. It made her head so tight she thought it might explode. Yet she craved it. She craved it the same way she had once craved stimulant tablets.

What was she doing? He made her so confused.

Ailani ran a hand over her face, trying to force her mind back to reality. They had such a long walk ahead that she didn't need to waste extra energy on overthinking.

The droid commander center was still several clicks out, and although the path had been cleared, they would all need to stay alert—just in case. Ailani needed all her energy for this assignment. She needed all her wits. She couldn't waste anything on Wolffe.

Ailani mindlessly made conversation with Ahsoka and Rex, asking about their assignments from the last few days and only half listening to their responses. Anakin didn't engage in their discussion but occasionally disparaged Ahsoka, undermining her stories. The two of them fought like siblings, petty and teasing. The connection between them and the warmth of their friendship hurt Ailani's stomach.

Soon, all attempts at conversation died. Ailani didn't even have the strength to fake compassion anymore.

What had she done wrong? How was she supposed to fix it? Was this all just casual? Was she reading too much into it? Had she merely been a distraction for Wolffe? A way to forget the war for an hour or two? Did he like someone else? Someone better than her? Was she merely filling their place until he could find them again?

Ailani kept her eyes locked firmly on the ground. Doubt crept into her heart and swam about her body. Not even the neon plants could ease her mind.

By the time they arrived at the lookout point, Ailani's mind was on overdrive.

And Wolffe stood right beside her.

Trapped.

"Droid reinforcements have just arrived," Master Plo said, staring through his binoculars. "We shall break into three groups to divide their defenses." His words were solid and straightforward, but it all seemed slurred in Ailani's head.

She shouldn't have had so much to drink last night. She was shaking. Everything was shaking. Why would Wolffe take a place near her? Was this forgiveness, or did he merely want to stand near Master Plo? Ailani's head rushed with the smell of blaster oil and lavender.

Lavender. The mantra of her childhood flooded back. The war had killed so much, but somehow, Wolffe brought everything back to life—lavender and orange blossoms, brown eyes, neon plants, and warmth, warmth.

Ailani chewed on her bottom lip.

"I'll take the left flank. Skywalker, attack the front gate." Plo continued, "Ahsoka, you and Ailani scale the back wall. We'll meet in the middle." Ailani nodded slowly, and Ahsoka shot her a toothy smile. All she could manage in return was a tight grimace.

Ailani stood, stretching her stiff legs. She just needed to get through this mission. Everything would make sense after this mission.

"See you on the other side," Wolffe said. His words cut through Ailani's mind, shocking all nerves. Was he really talking to her?

Ailani faced him slowly, her vision blurring, "Yeah…yeah…see…you." Ailani stammered out. Her throat was suddenly dry. What was going on?

Wolffe tilted his head, confused or perhaps…curious. She couldn’t read him through the tension and fear. Had he forgotten all about last night? Had she simply been imagining the tension? Before Wolffe could say anything more, Ailani turned away. She could deal with this after the mission. She was too confused.

"Okay, scouts," Anakin said, pulling Ailani’s attention, "Find me a way down there. Quiet like."

Ahsoka cleared her throat, approaching her Master with a grin, "Going through the front gate won't be easy." Ailani trailed behind the Padawan, her heart pounding.

Anakin played into Ahsoka's game, returning the smile, "Ah, you have it tougher going over that wall." They were a strange pair. They are almost identical in every way and yet wholly opposites. They were anything but traditional. If Ailani had tried to taunt Master Windu like Ahsoka taunted Anakin, she would have been grounded for three months.

"You taught me well," Ahsoka replied, "I can handle anything." She began to walk away, signaling Ailani to follow.

"Don't get cocky," Anakin shouted after them, but Ahsoka merely waved him off as she and Ailani walked away.

"You two…" Ailani mumbled, but she was smiling as she rolled her eyes. She was trying to push Wolffe from her mind, praying friendship and teasing fixed everything.

"What?" Ahsoka said, faking ignorance.

"You're not very traditional," Ailani replied.

Before Ahsoka could retort, Wolffe interrupted them, "Wait," He called, the very sound of his voice enough to set every nerve in Ailani's body alight, "Comet, Boost, Sinker. You keep Ailani and Ahsoka company.”

It took a while for his words to process, the heat of her face so distracting, but once they did, the order made no sense. Ailani and Ahsoka already had a small squad accompanying them, but apparently, that was not enough in Wolffe's eyes. Ailani raised an eyebrow, which he refused to acknowledge. Was he trying to be protective? Was this some sort of apology for his standoffish behavior last night? Ailani didn't know how to navigate friendships, much less whatever this was. Maybe this would all make sense if she merely kissed him again. Wolffe turned away.

"Yes, Sir." Comet said instantly before facing Ailani, "Guess you're stuck with us."

"That's not so bad," Ailani replied, smiling. Her heart felt show again. Last night was just a misunderstanding. Everything was fine. They were fine. "Let's get a move on."

Even as she tried to turn away, Ailani was stopped again, this time by Master Plo, who pulled her away from the group. "Watch yourself, young one." He said, his tone severe and dire. The teasing argument between Anakin and Ahsoka came to mind, and though she appreciated his concern, Ailani wasn't sixteen anymore.

"I am, Master." Ailani tossed him a half smile, "You don't have to look after me like I'm a Padawan."

The Kel Dor stared at her for a long moment, and the smile faltered on Ailani's face as he spoke again, "That is not what I meant."

The heavy intoxication she had felt the last few days that terrible mixture of liquor and longing, suddenly cleared in her head, and Ailani felt wide awake and laid bare. Her eyes were wide, and her face suddenly felt cold and drained of all blood.

"Yes, Master." She said. Nothing else came to mind. The galaxy was crumbling.

Plo Koon nodded thoughtfully, placing a hand on her shoulder and patting it reassuringly, then turned away. Ailani felt frozen. Her thoughts raced faster than she could comprehend them, all ideas and feelings living into a horrible, haunting symphony.

"You coming?" Ahsoka called, her voice questioning.

"Yes," Ailani replied, shaking herself awake. "Yes, let's go."

They stalked through the glowing woods with light footsteps, but Ailani swore her heart was beating so loud it could be heard from Naboo. What she had done now seemed less thrilling and intriguing and more like a cruel nightmare. Confusion and lovesickness melted into cold blooded fear.

She tried to look for Wolffe after Plo had spoken to her, looking for his certainty and reassurance, but he was already aboard a Walker. Ailani had been left alone with her wandering mind, and she had let it eat at what remained of her heart. What did Master Plo know? What had he seen? What was he going to tell the Council? What would happen to Wolffe? Was this a violation of some military oath or law? Indeed, the order would punish her, but the Jedi were not a military. They would remove her privileges, but they wouldn't expel her.

But Wolffe?

The thoughts and questions made Ailani so nauseous it was hard to walk straight, and more than once, Ahsoka had shot Ailani a puzzled expression after a particularly loud stumble. She probably looked sickly. Maybe Ailani could fend off all questions with lies about the side effects of the Blue Shadow Virus. But that horrible guilt had come back, the guilt that had hindered her before, the guilt that had made her worthy of a slow and painful death. She wanted to lay down and die again, let the glowing plants cover her, and bury her in the dirt. But she couldn't. Not while she was looking after Ashoka.

Ailani closed her eyes momentarily, letting the Force guide her footsteps as she pulled her spirit inward. She needed to get control of Ahsoka. All that mattered was the girl she needed to protect. She needed to guard Ahsoka with her life now, for tomorrow she would die.

Let go of everything else. Let go of the brown eyes and the warmth. Let go of the kisses and gentle hands. Nothing existed now besides her job. Ailani swallowed vomit that trickled up her throat, and with it, she swallowed all memory of Wolffe. There would be time for him later.

"Hold up," Ahsoka said suddenly, raising her hand and ripping Ailani back to reality, "I sense something out there." She got a distant look in her eyes as she scanned the woods.

Ailani tried to focus her senses to align with Ahsoka's, but she still had little clarity. Her head ached, and her thoughts swam even as she tried to sink them. She needed to focus. Get control.

"A droid?" Comet asked.

Ailani's hand trembled on the hilt of her lightsaber. The beskar always felt heavier in times like these. Times when she failed as a Jedi. Oh Maker. She wanted to vomit up every kiss she had savored.

"I don't think so." Ahsoka kept scanning the forest and shook her head to clear it, "Probably just an animal. Come on, we've gotta get to that wall."

Ahsoka moved on, her light footsteps making no sound. Ailani fell into step beside her and swallowed all fear, locking it down into her pit stomach that had grown cold with Wolffe's absence.

Comet nodded, "Stay alert, men. Let's move."

When they reached the wall, Ailani felt so exhausted and feared she might faint. Her mind spun in reckless, dizzying knots, and her body was now paying the price. She kept pace well enough, and she had been able to focus hard enough to move with fake ease, but the cost of masking her emotions was growing too great. She would snap any minute if she didn't get one second alone soon. She needed to throw up her breakfast and scream and cry until she had no voice left. Her entire body trembled with the effort to hold back the storm in her chest.

Focus on Ahsoka. Focus on protecting her. Ailani kept repeating the words, forcing them to have meaning. Wolffe would be a mess she could clean up later. Ahsoka was her job right now.

Plo's voice crackled over comms, "Skywalker, Ahsoka, are you in position?"

The very sound of her Master's voice was enough to make Ailani nauseous again, and she resisted the urge to vomit as her stomach contracted inadvertently. In her mind, Ailani knew that Plo was a good man. He wouldn't say anything. Even if he would, that was a problem for later. Right now, Ahsoka was her problem. Ahsoka was her mission. Her friend.

Ailani thought back to how Wolffe had blinked her away from his eyes. One. Two. Three. And then her Wolffe was gone, and he was a Commander again. It had been easy for him. One. Two. Three.

Ailani blinked once.

"Ready and waiting, Master Plo." Anakin's voice replied, cracking against the comm waves, sharp and alert.

Ailani blinked twice.

"We're in position," Ahsoka said, scanning the wall.

Ailani blinked for a third time, and when she opened her eyes again, she let all thoughts of Wolffe fade with the darkness, and she wore the face of a Jedi Acolyte. Brave and true. Perfect.

The distant sky was illuminated with blue blaster bolts as Anakin's walkers sent flame and smoke raining down on the droid outpost. Ailani's chest felt empty as the night sky and as heavy as the black smoke that followed, but she was no longer tortured by wandering thoughts or trembling legs. She felt separate from her body, like she was watching herself move through the motions, just like when she fell ill after Christophsis.

Untouchable and yet in utter agony.

Ahsoka gestured to Boost, who turned and took out the droid guard in the tower outpost. Instantly, Sinker mirrored his actions and took care of the other. Both machines fell to the ground, their harsh landings muffled by Ailani's use of the Force, catching the bodies right before they slammed into the dirt. She was herself again. At least, she was an Acolyte again. Ailani wasn't sure whether that was 'herself.’

"Comet, Sinker, Boost, get up there." Ahsoka said, activating her lightsabers, "Ailani's leading. I'll take up the rear."

Ailani nodded, summoning the Force to jump over the wall as the Pack equipped their grappling attachments. The wind flew through her hair, whipping stinging air across her cheeks and burning her eyes. But she could hardly feel it. Ailani landed on the wall with a flip and a flourish, the wound in her side pulling and aching, but she ignored it. There were only a few droids on the wall, but it only took three strokes of her lightsaber to reduce them to scrap metal.

Easy.

Her lungs were burning with the effort of her jump, but the second Comet landed beside her, Ailani tried to pass the heaving breaths off as arrogant laughter. "What took you so long?" She smiled, looking over to the boys with fake flamboyance.

"Yeah," Sinker said, detaching his grappling line, "You seem pretty helpless without us."

She faked another laugh. Everything hurt.

"We're all clear, Commander. Come on up." Comet shouted over the edge. Ahsoka said something back, but Ailani couldn't catch it, the sound lost in the ringing of her ears. Comet responded with a thumbs up, then turned back to Ailani. "You wanna join the party down there?" He pointed to the outpost where Plo and Anakin had pooled the main forces, slicing through them effortlessly.

"You read my mind," Ailani replied.

There was hardly any work left to do by the time they reached the center, but still, Ailani swung her lightsaber valiantly, cutting down anything that came in her path. The fear in her heart left her limbs with steady, deadly movements. It was all over in an instant. The ground was littered with broken metal, the remnants of melted droids, and Ailani stared at the pieces with hollow eyes. Her strength was going to leave her any minute now.

"The outpost is secure," Anakin said, standing in the center of the outpost in the command station, "Good job, Corporal."

Ailani drew her attention to Anakin, tossing him an annoyed look. Of course, he would thank Comet before he even acknowledged her. Boys.

Anakin must have read the expression on her face because he opened his mouth to retort and suddenly stopped short. "Where's Commander Tano?"

Ailani straightened instantly, no longer tired. She looked around, eyes suddenly frantic. But there was no Ahsoka. No Ahsoka. No Ahsoka. Where… where was Ahsoka? The galaxy caved in on itself, all confusion and ache and pathetic guilt paling in comparison to the horror that grew with Ahsoka’s absence.

"She was covering our flank when we scaled the wall," Comet said, casually throwing his blaster over his shoulder. He didn't seem worried, and instantly, that worried Ailani more.

"She was right behind us," Ailani added, her voice suddenly strained. She sounded like hell and probably looked like it, too. Fear was twisting inside her stomach, eating her insides.

"Everybody fan out." Anakin said, instantly defensive and anxious, "I want a perimeter sweep now." He loomed over them from the command station, his eyes burning like fires and remnants of fading light casting strange and frightening shadows across his face.

Ailani only found the strength to nod in reply.

She was suddenly, and strangely, so afraid of him.

They combed the woods until the sun began to rise, and the glow of the plants faded into the glow of daylight.

Ahsoka never appeared.

There were no droids left in the area, so Ailani had run her throat raw with screams and shouts, praying Ahsoka would answer. But she never did. Not even wild creatures had responded to Ailani’s call.

The 501st broke away to search for themselves, so Ailani had been paired up with the Wolfpack again, though Wolffe was nowhere to be found. But that was fine enough. Ailani didn't need him to see her like this. Desperate and guilt-ridden. Guilt-ridden. The shame and shake Ailani had felt in her bones earlier, placed there by Master Plo's cryptic warning, had been replaced by wave after wave of horror that spawned from Ahsoka's absence.

Ailani was the one with her. She was supposed to look after her. She was supposed to protect her. Ailani had buried every feeling and worry to focus on keeping Ahsoka safe, yet it had not been enough. Why was it never enough? She had given up all thought and warmth and…

Ailani screamed again, but the noise that left her throat sounded more like an animalistic cry than a name. Her chest heaved with illness and strain, and her head swam. She was getting dizzy from all the yelling, the confusion, and the aching in her chest. She should have been paying more attention. Why did she never pay enough attention? She should have insisted on being the last one up. She should have forced Ahsoka to lead. Ahsoka was a better leader anyway, a better Jedi.

Why couldn't Ailani be the missing one? She deserved to be the missing one after everything she had done the few past days. She deserved to be gone with the breeze and forgotten in the glowing trees. Her sinful acts against the Order and the guilt she kept denying. Ahsoka had a future. She was bright and wonderful and passionate and strong and good. Ahsoka was good.

Ailani's lips still tingled with attachment and need. She had no future at all.

"I'm still not getting anything on heat sensors, sir," Boost said, pulling Ailani's attention to him.

"Look again," Sinker said, his tone authoritative and cold.

None of them had dropped the mask of their roles since they had taken the droid outpost, and so they had wandered the forest not as friends but as cogs in an endless war machine. There was always strength in a mask, strength in concealment, but right now, Ailani was afraid that if she stopped being an Acolyte, she would only be able to crumble. Perhaps everyone else was thinking the same thing.

Boost dutifully nodded and went back to scanning the area, but in her heart, Ailani knew that he would find nothing. They had been out here all night. All night and nothing. Not even an echo in the Force. Ailani closed her eyes, unsure how much longer she would be able to hold back tears. Her lungs burned so much that she could easily pass the weeping off as a pain response, but the hysteria that would be sure to follow might be harder to explain. Ailani harshly pressed her hands to her face as if she could hold back the emotions with the pain of her palms.

What was happening to her? What had these past few months done to her mind? What had the past few days done to her spirit? Who was she kidding? The past few years were the real reason. She couldn't focus anymore. She couldn't think. Everything was too confusing, too complicated. Nothing made any sense. She was supposed to be looking after Ahsoka.

Suddenly, a presence entered her mind. Steady as the tide and bright as a lighthouse above endless crashing waves.

Wolffe.

Ailani instantly pulled her hands away from her face, yearning for his comfort and warmth and certainty and—

Yet instead of the warmth of Wolffe's face, Ailani's gaze settled on the cold indifference of his helmet. He was standing tall, with pristine armor gleaming in the sunlight. But he wasn't warm. He wasn't her Wolffe. The Wolffe who had kissed her and smiled against her skin, the Wolffe who had laughed with her and felt at her wounds. Her Wolffe was wearing his battlefield face, that look that made his eyes colder and calmer than the void of space, that face he wore when shiny new soldiers fell in bloody battles and mindless war games. He was wearing the mask of a Commander. While wearing that face, Ailani could not read him. She did not know him. And suddenly, she felt very alone. Something dark began to linger in Ailani's chest, growing like a weed between her ribs as her senses shifted uncomfortably.

Something was very wrong.

"We're pulling out." Wolffe said, the mechanical voice of his vocalizer confirming her fears, "Pack it up." The words made no sense, they refused to sink in.

Ailani's face filled with confusion, and she let it spill from her lips, "What about Ahsoka and the 501st?"

"The General called us back personally. We're leaving."

"We can't leave them here." Ailani said. Wolffe wasn’t making any sense, “Master Plo—”

"You and I are to meet the General on the landing platform, where we will inform General Skywalker of the departure." Wolffe’s voice was so impossibly cold and removed. Indifferent. The same voice from last night. What was he doing? What was he thinking? What did anything mean?

"What about Ahsoka?" Ailani repeated, yet her heart already knew the answer. They weren't staying. Panic rose, twisting with more, horrid guilt.

"We're leaving," Wolffe repeated, the mechanical hiss of his helmet masking the emptiness in his tone. "Pack it up."

"We can't just—"

Desperation began to flood Ailani's senses, drowning out everything but the ringing in her ears. Wolffe loved Ahsoka as his sister, but he wouldn't even fight. He wouldn't even try to stay and—

"That's an order, Acolyte Réillata," Wolffe spoke, his words hitting Ailani like a wave, slamming her back to reality with a knife to her heart. He was speaking slowly, enunciating every word with deadly calm. He was trying not to get angry.

But Ailani was angry. She was so angry. She needed him to be angry too. She didn't want to be alone in the rage. He was hurt, and so he hurt. And she would hurt in return. Even as she knew it was wrong and hot tears began to burn at her vision, Ailani let herself drown in the red. And that's how it would always be.

"Every time I think—" Ailani stopped herself from finishing the sentence, suddenly aware of the dead quiet that now engulfed them. "Ahsoka is only a child. You can't be suggesting that we just leave her behind."

"You were the one with her!" Wolffe cried, his vocalizer suddenly cracking under the weight of his words.

Ailani could feel her face, pale and drained of blood, eyes wide in horror. Because there it was. What Ailani had always assumed and what she had so foolishly ignored. Wolffe saw her for what she was. Stupid. Reckless. Foolish. Irresponsible. Pathetic. He must have been thinking this last night. He must have been thinking this during every kiss. Wolffe knew better people, he knew better beings. Ailani was nothing. She was worthless. He knew that this was her fault. The truth hurt so much worse than she could have ever imagined. Her heart felt like it was being pulled from her chest, yanking through her ribs, and being shown off to everyone, bloody and unwanted.

Dead silence.

The forest lost its glow, all neon lights fading as the horrible truth spilled from Wolffe's helmet and cut through Ailani's heart. Her legs felt weak again, so impossibly weak.

"You were running point. Commander Tano was your responsibility—" Wolffe cut himself off, rage broken for a moment in the face of something worse: a memory

In the back of her mind, Ailani remembered his officer's uniform and that escape pod, forever drifting in space. Her heart ached with shame and anger. She couldn’t breathe.

"We're leaving." Wolffe repeated, "That's an order."

Orders. He was hiding his disdain for her behind orders. A strange flurry of emotions washed over Ailani, and her heart fluttered. Everything ached.

Ailani mirrored him, throwing blame, "Your orders are to protect your Jedi companions. That means getting Ahsoka back safe," She replied, not caring how deeply she twisted the knife. "That's your only job. Looking after your Jedi companions."

The entire battalion was so quiet that Ailani swore she could hear everyone's heartbeat. The words felt cold and cruel on her lips, yet Ailani found no desire to take them back. Red leaked into the corners of her vision, obscuring all memories of heat and warmth.

How had she tricked herself into thinking any of this would work? What delusion had she been fueling? Wolffe stood mere meters from her, yet Ailani suddenly felt the complete divide between them. Acolyte and Commander. Jedi and Soldier . All pretense faded, and all whispers and warmth whistled away in the wind. He wasn't her friend. He had never been her friend. None of them had ever been friends or anything more. They were all foot soldiers. And Wolffe was in charge. How had Ailani tricked herself into believing anything different?

Wolffe spoke, at last, his words icy cold, "That's not fair."

"I'm not trying to be fair." Ailani said, throwing her binoculars on the ground, "I'm getting a ride back with Rex."

Her blood was rushing in her ears, stirring in her head and making a dizzying dance around her brain. She felt delirious, empty, and so painfully alone. Yet Ailani refused to turn back, even as Wolffe repeatedly called out her name.

The forest was silent.

Ailani trekked across the terrain, her mind and spirit devoid of all feeling. Anger had melted into emptiness, and what once seemed so certain in her rage felt hollow in the sunlight. Ailani was so tired, so endlessly tired. Her legs ached, her cheeks burned, and sadness etched into her heart. Tears refused to fall, but Ailani felt their sting itch at the corner of her eyes. She wasn't even entirely sure what was prompting her to cry. So much weighed on her heart. The devastation of Ahsoka's loss, the argument with Wolffe, the cruel words she had thrown, and the shattering of delusional delight Ailani had foolishly spent days drowning in. She was so stupid. So ridiculously stupid.

She wasn't attentive enough to look after Ahsoka or intelligent enough to hold a friendship or longing with Wolffe. She was so stupid. How had she ruined two things in one day? Oh gods, what was she going to do now? How was she going to make up for this? How would they find Ahsoka? How could they do anything?

The 501st gunship fell into view, and Ailani felt some of her tension ease as she stared upon familiar faces and helmets. They looked just as exhausted as she felt; selfishly, Ailani took solace in that. She didn't want to be alone in her suffering.

The group soundlessly packed up the last of their belongings, silence spawning from places where laughter once grew.

Oh, Ahsoka…

"Got room for one more?" Ailani asked, faking a slight smile as she approached the group.

Rex tensed at her voice but did not start, turning to face Ailani with a slightly strained smile, "Always."

Dark bags lined his face, deepening the strain that battle and bloodshed had carved into his features. It seemed so strange to see Rex like that. Ailani knew that the 501st saw the worst of the war, but she had never seen the impact up close. Or perhaps Ailani had never been paying enough attention.

Had she fallen for the persona of battle? The Wolfpack stacked walls of stone, hiding emotions behind shade and shadow. Ailani knew that a guard had been placed to protect them. But the 501st… Had Ailani fallen for the jokes and the stories? Had masks of laughter tricked her? Was this them at their truest? The exhaustion, the strain, the worry, and the fear. Was this what Ahsoka was, too? Had Ailani missed that? Or at least, had she intentionally avoided the truth?

So many things had been shattered today, so many comforts and lies. It all made Ailani's head spin.

"You get kicked off the other ship?" Fives said, his tone teasing until he met her eyes. His face fell. Ailani saw a hint of hurt lingering behind his eyes.

Ailani smiled sadly, hoping her dismissal would be reassuring, "Something like that."

No one said anything more. There was nothing else to say. Ahsoka was gone, and they were leaving her behind.

A shadow approached Ailani's mind, a pull in the Force, a strain in the galaxy.

Anakin.

Ailani spun on her heels to face the man. He seemed impossibly tall and imposing, unlike the boy she had once known. The prophecy of the chosen one echoed in Ailani's head, but she quickly dismissed it. She didn't need to confuse herself further.

Anakin met Ailani's face, his gaze cold and bitter, "What are you doing here?" He spat out the words like venom, but Ailani let it wash over her. She set her jaw.

"Same as you." Ailani said, forcing forth certainty and strength, "I'm not one to give up easily."

Anakin scanned her face momentarily, then he scoffed, signaling Ailani to board the gunship, "Good."

The word sat like a stone, heavy and ancient. Good.

Good.

What did that even mean anymore?

Good.

Everything was good.

#begged and borrowed time #ailani réillata #writings

4 notes · View notes