#rip Nat I will miss you every day

[mapis-putellas]

Emotional support bunny

Pairing: Nat x you

Words: 1362

Warnings: none

Summary: you gift a stuffed bunny to Natasha on your one year anniversary. She adores it, names it, and promptly sleeps with it every single night. Well, that was until disaster strikes and bunny goes missing.

Notes: It’s been months. I have no explanation other than I’ve had some major writers block. I am, so sorry. And I hope this makes up for it.

It was on your one year anniversary that you’d gifted it to her. A small, grey bunny adorned in a cute black t-shirt with the phrase, this is my emotional support bear written on the front. It was meant as a joke. At least, that’s how you intended it to be at first. She was Natasha Romanoff. The black widow. Why would the black widow want anything to do it’s something so childish?

But surprisingly, she’d been delighted, and she’d quickly given it a name. Tiny. Tiny the bunny. For the first few days, tiny had sat on her dresser next to a photograph of you and her together. Natasha would give it soft smile and fond touch as she passes, and that was that.

But then, tiny would appear in your bed. Just during that day at first, propped up against the pillows when neither of you were there. But then one night, after returning home from a mission with Yelena and Clint, you noticed tiny was neither on her dresser or propped up against the pillows.

Upon closer inspection, as you’d crawled into the bed next to her, you realised that the reason tiny wasn’t in either of his usual spaces was because he was held clutched to Natasha’s chest. Your heart immediately melts at the sight, and after pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, you’d laid down and pulled her close to your chest before too drifting off to sleep.

From that moment forward -with the occasional exception of course ;) - tiny was in your bed every single night. Sometimes Natasha cuddled him, and sometimes you would because Natasha liked him to smell of you. Natasha had never been too settled when it came to sleep. Insomnia, nightmares. You helped of course, but there was something about tiny that would settle her immediately. You guessed it had something to do with healing her inner child.

Tiny would soon start coming on missions too. Of course he remained safely hidden in her bag, out of sight and out of mind from everyone else, but knowing he was there often helped. A reminder of sorts that she always had a piece of you with her no matter where she went.

Everything was great. Until it wasn’t.

You see, Natasha had misplaced tiny before. Whether it be he’d slipped out of bed during one of her restless nights of sleep or he’d fallen to the bottom of her bag after forgetting he was there and unpacking everything but him. But she’d never completely lost him before. Or well, she hadn’t until now. And her reaction to losing him wasn’t anything like you expected.

You’d walked into the bedroom to see her clad in nothing but a shirt and underwear determinedly ripping the blankets off of your shared bed. The rest of the room was a mess too, and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion as you pocket your phone and make your way over to her.

“Nat?” You question, reaching out to touch her arm.

She startles at the touch as she whips herself round to face you, and you hold up your arms to show her you meant no harm as you take a small step backwards. “Baby, what’s going on?” You slowly lower your arms as you sit on the now bare mattress and give the shirt burying her small frame a gentle tug, coaxing her closer.

She steps in between your open legs, and you wrap one of your arms just beneath her rear end as the other one comes up to brush a messy strand of hair out of her face. Her eyes, you realise now, are bloodshot, bottom lip quivering as if she was doing everything possible to stop herself from crying.

You frown in concern as you give her thigh a gentle tug, coaxing it over your lap and against your hip. She complies, and you wrap an arm around her waist to keep her supported as she brings the other leg up so she was effectively straddling your lap.

She burrows her face into your neck, and your heart breaks when you feel hot tears beginning to stain your neck. “What’s going on my love?” You murmur, bringing one hand up to settle on the back of her neck.

Natasha shakes her head with a soft sniffle, and you frown as you give her a soft squeeze, not really understanding why she didn’t want to confide to you but happy to sit here and hold her for as long as she needed. It takes a while, but she does eventually sit herself up in your arms. Your arms move from resting against her shoulder blades to just above her behind, fingers slipping beneath her oversized shirt and grazing across soft skin.

“I can’t find tiny.” She whispers, one of her hands rising to cling to the front of your shirt as her face scrunches up and another soft sob escapes her lips. Your heart breaks, your hand rising up the bare skin of her her back and coaxing her back to your chest. She seems to allow herself to cry freely now, her body trembling as she clutches fiercely to the back of your shirt.

Some may think this was an overreaction to losing a measly stuffed animal, and maybe they were right. But this wasn’t just any stuffed animal. It was her comfort. Her safe place. And whilst that may seem childish to some, for Natasha, someone who had denied herself the most simplest of comforts because she was under the impression she didn’t deserve them; someone who didn’t have any ounce of a childhood, tiny was her everything and you thanked god she trusted you enough to let down her walls and allow you to comfort her.

“Is he in your bag?” You question as you begin the motion of gently rocking her back and forth in your arms.

Natasha shakes her head. “N-no. I looked there.” She manages to choke out, and you nod in understanding as you look around the room to see if there were any spaces tiny could have hidden himself in. When you come up empty, you attempt to wrack your mind for any more ideas.

“You looked under the bed?”

Natasha nods again as she sits herself up in your arms, hands rising to roughly wipe away the tears. You shake your head slightly as you gently knock her hands away, replacing them with your own and tenderly wiping off her cheeks.

You’re about to suggest looking elsewhere in the house for the beloved bunny until a familiar fluffy hand appears in your peripheral vision. You gently pat Natasha’s back to get her attention, waiting for her teary eyes to meet your own before pointing to the corner the room where a pile of clean laundry sat in its basket.

“Did you by chance change our bedding today?” You ask, rising to your feet before easing her down onto her own. Natasha doesn’t acknowledge your question as she all but sprints to the corner of the room, knocking that large pile of laundry to the floor in her haste to grab tiny from here he was hidden at the bottom of it before clutching him to her chest.

She lets out a quiet breath of relief, and you realise, as you make your way over to her and tug her into a hug, that she must have tossed him out of the way whilst changing your sheets this morning and had forgotten to put him back. Natasha’s arms rise to settle around your neck, tiny clutched in her hand, and you immediately bend to lift her up into your arms. Her legs loop tightly around your waist, and you place a single arm beneath her behind whilst your hand rises to rest against her back.

“He was hiding from you.” You laugh slightly, and you feel the way Natasha smiles against the skin of your neck as she moves tiny to settle against her chest.

As you stand there, holding your favourite girl in your arms, you thank your lucky stars that you’d found him before disaster totally struck.

**

@goldenempyrean - finally got something written 😭 @alotofpockets @natashasnoodle @widowsistersandfriends @widowbitessting

[brunchable]

BIG DICK is back in town | Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Pairings: Boyfriend Bucky Barnes x f!reader Themes: Funny? Just Bucky being a menace to his girlfriend. Summary: Bucky came back from being away for a weeks, now that he's back you can finally play your revenge on him after he pulled a prank on you before he left. A/N: I can't stop laughing while writing this, then again i have a shallow sense of humour. . .

Bucky had just gotten back into town after a mission that kept him away for weeks. He was expecting a quiet lunch with his girlfriend, and maybe a couple of friends. What he didn’t expect was the t-shirt you handed him that morning.

“Put this on,” you said sweetly, too sweetly, as you tossed the shirt at him.

Bucky raised an eyebrow as he unfolded the shirt. His face immediately twisted in shock and horror when he read the massive, bold black text: “BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN.”

He blinked, his mouth slightly open, and then let out a strangled laugh. “No. No way. There’s no way I’m wearing this.”

“Yes way,” you batted your eyelashes, doing your best to look innocent. “You have no choice.”

Bucky glanced at you, then did a double take at the walk-in closet, which was suspiciously empty. All his shirts—gone. Vanished. Not even a single plain tee left hanging. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

You just crossed your arms, smirking. “Actions have consequences, babe.”

He ran a hand through his hair, still half in disbelief. “This is because of the doll heads, isn’t it?”

“Hm, that was a good one. . .” You look narrowed your eyes at the memory.

Bucky thought it would be funny to buy a bunch of creepy, old-fashioned doll heads from a thrift store. Then, he strategically placed them around the apartment—under your pillow, in the fridge, behind the shower curtain, even in your bag. The final straw had been when you found one staring at you from inside a cereal box.

You had screamed. A lot. Bucky had laughed. A lot.

“But no, this is not about the doll heads.”

Bucky breathily laughed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “It's the arm. It's because of the arm isn't it?”

Your smirk widened. Oh, it was definitely because of the arm. A few days before his mission, Bucky had pulled the ultimate prank on you. He’d convinced you that he had lost his arm—like, the entire vibranium arm—by hiding it in the dishwasher. When you came home and found Bucky lying on the couch, dramatically holding his shoulder and claiming, “I just...I don’t know where I left it,” you freaked out. You tore the place apart looking for it, almost hyperventilating at the thought of your boyfriend wandering around missing a whole limb.

Then Bucky had pointed to the dishwasher after it finished its cycle with the most innocent face in the world. “Oops,” he had said with a wink.

You had not spoken to him for the rest of the day.

So, now, here he was, standing in the bedroom, staring at the most embarrassing t-shirt he had ever seen. And you weren’t done yet.

“So now, you get to wear that and face the public. Including Steve, Sam, and Nat.” you said, your tone dripping with vengeance.

“Oh you didn't,” Bucky muttered with a groan, staring at the shirt like it might burn a hole through his hand. “You invited them, too?”

“Of course. What’s revenge without an audience?”

There was no way out of it. Bucky knew when he was defeated. “I’m never going to live this down.”

You beamed, utterly delighted. “That’s the point, babe.”

With a resigned sigh, Bucky knew he had no choice. This was payback, and you had every right to exact your revenge. Besides, if there was one thing Bucky Barnes wasn’t, it was a coward.

Bucky peeled his old shirt off, revealing his ripped torso, and tossed it casually in your direction. He caught you glancing at him, your eyes momentarily lingering on the sharp definition of his muscles, but you quickly masked your ogling with a smirk. 

He paused for effect, stretching a little more than necessary, emphasising every ripple in his abs and arms before picking up the dreaded t-shirt. 

"Enjoying the view?" he teased, his lips twitching into a playful grin.

You raised an eyebrow, feigning indifference. "I mean, it's not bad," you said, your voice light with sarcasm. But your eyes betrayed you. 

Bucky, now fully aware of the attention, dramatically sighed as he pulled the embarrassing t-shirt over his head. 

"Let's just get this over with." 

As the bold lettering stretched across his chest, he shot you a look. "You know, this whole revenge thing? It won't save you from what's coming next." 

You just chuckled, stepping closer and placing a hand on his chest, right over the words "BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN." You looked up at him, a devilish glint in your eyes.

“I'm looking forward to it, Big Dick.”

× × × × 

When Bucky and you arrived at the restaurant, he walked in with his head held high, trying to act like he wasn’t wearing the most humiliating piece of clothing in existence. You, of course, were grinning ear to ear, savouring every second of his discomfort.

As soon as Sam spotted Bucky from across the room, he burst into uncontrollable laughter. “Oh no! Oh no, man, this is too good!”

Steve, grinning like he was trying out a new stand-up routine, shook his head. “You know, Buck, I always figured you had a lot of baggage, but I didn’t think you’d advertise it so boldly.”

Steve continued and gestured to the shirt with a broad smirk. “You sure you want the world to know what we’ve all been suspecting?”

Natasha, biting her lip to suppress a laugh, finally cracked. “I have so many questions. But also, no questions at all,” she said, covering her mouth as she tried and failed to hold in her giggles, while Sam was practically in tears beside her.

“I lost a bet,” Bucky mumbled, sliding into his seat and trying to cover the text with his arms. But every time he moved, the words on his chest seemed to scream louder: “BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN.”

You sat next to him, clearly enjoying the show. “He didn’t lose a bet,” you corrected, your grin growing wider. “He’s just paying for his crimes.”

Steve raised an eyebrow, clearly curious. “Crimes?”

Your eyes sparkled as you turned to the table. “He made me think he lost his arm. Like, completely gone. I nearly had a heart attack tearing the house apart trying to find it, and it was in the dishwasher the whole time.”

Sam almost fell off his chair laughing. “That’s—oh man—that’s genius! I mean, that’s terrible, but genius.”

Bucky shot you a side-eye, his lips twitching into a grin despite himself. “She’s out for blood now.”

“And you deserve it,” you said with a wink, sipping your drink.

As lunch kicked off, the group quickly slipped into the usual dynamic, a comfortable mix of teasing, banter, and catching up. Sam was the first to start piling his plate with food. “I don’t know how you survived without my cooking, Buck. These missions must be torture.”

Bucky, still trying to cover up his shirt as much as possible, raised an eyebrow. “You mean burning toast? Yeah, real hardship.”

“Hey, that’s gourmet burnt toast to you, pal,” Sam shot back, pretending to look offended.

Natasha smirked as she picked at her salad. “I’m more curious how you managed to avoid getting your arm stuck in the dishwasher, considering that’s apparently where it lives now.”

Steve, biting into his sandwich, was trying not to laugh with his mouth full. “Can’t believe you actually managed to hide your arm. That’s dedication.”

You snorted, leaning in. “You know what’s worse? He didn’t even try to help me find it. He was just sitting there watching me panic!”

Bucky gave an innocent shrug. “You’re resourceful. I figured you’d find it… eventually.”

Steve shook his head, grinning. “Buck, sometimes I wonder how you survived all those years without us babysitting you.”

Sam nearly choked on his drink. “I’m starting to think Hydra trained him just to prank the people closest to him. That’s some next-level psychological warfare.”

You pointed your fork at Sam. “Exactly! He’s weaponized his own arm, guys. I’m living with a literal menace.”

Bucky looked around the table, a smirk playing on his lips. “Well, you’re all still alive, so I must not be that dangerous.”

“Yet,” Natasha muttered. “Give him another day.”

You glanced at Bucky and laughed. “You know, I did think about ‘accidentally’ sending his arm to Tony’s lab as a prank in return.”

Steve perked up, “Oh, please. Can you imagine the look on Tony’s face when a random metal arm shows up?”

Sam leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. “Man, Stark would never let him live that down. Every time he’d walk into a room, it’d be ‘Need a hand, Buck?’”

Everyone burst out laughing at that, even Bucky, who threw up his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. Maybe I took it a little far.”

You raised an eyebrow. “A little?”

Natasha, with a mischievous grin, leaned over toward Bucky, “So, what’s the next prank in your arsenal, Barnes? Or are you too scared to top the arm stunt?”

Bucky grinned back. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m always planning something.”

“Not if I get you first,” you chimed in, narrowing your eyes at him.

Sam shook his head, chuckling. “I’m staying out of this. You two are gonna end up blowing up your apartment.”

As everyone finished their meals, Bucky was finally starting to relax, the embarrassment of the shirt fading slightly under the barrage of jokes and laughter. But that didn’t stop Sam from leaning in with a sly grin.

“So, Buck,” Sam said, his tone dripping with mischief. “How’s it feel to be back in town?”

Bucky deadpanned, “Empowering. Really, really empowering.”

Natasha snorted into her drink, and Steve, usually the composed one, was struggling not to burst out laughing. “Well, Buck, you’ve definitely made a statement today.”

Just then, a random passerby glanced at Bucky’s shirt, gave him an approving nod, and a thumbs up as they passed, causing the entire table to burst into another round of laughter. Even Bucky couldn’t help but crack a smile at the absurdity of it all.

By the end of lunch, Bucky had to admit, the prank war was far from over. As they stood to leave, he shot you a playful glance. “You know this means war, right?”

You shrugged nonchalantly, still grinning like the cat that got the cream. “Bring it on, Barnes.”

With that, Bucky wrapped an arm around your shoulders, tugging you close as you walked out of the restaurant. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your temple, causing you to smile up at him. Even with the world’s most embarrassing t-shirt on, Bucky Barnes was never one to back down from a challenge — and he was pretty sure you were the best kind of challenge.

As you both approached the car, Bucky opened the door for you, his hand resting on the top of the doorframe like the perfect gentleman. Just as you were about to slide in, a stranger walking by shouted, “Nice shirt, man!”

Bucky paused, shaking his head with a resigned smile, while you burst into laughter from the passenger seat. “Told you it’d be a hit,” you teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky muttered, closing the door behind you before turning to wave at the stranger, who was still grinning at him.

Bucky got into the driver’s seat and glanced over at you, his smile growing as he shook his head. “You know payback’s gonna be hell for you, right?”

[wandanatrules]

Hi there!! I saw that you were taking request so I thought I’d put one in! I’m obsessed with a rich/Silver fox Nat x innocent reader. Silver fox Nat is definitely manipulative and possessive and is obsessed with R. Maybe for the fic nat just had a really stressful day and gets home late and needs to take her anger out on R? Maybe g!p too? Up to you!  definitely super kinky

Try To Keep Me

hey idk if this does your request justice, but I hope you enjoy!! not proofread

word count: 1.5k

pairing: CEO silver fox beefy g!p Nat x housewife fem reader

warnings: smut, nat has a penis, cnc, angst, cursing, slapping, arguing, name calling, breeding kink, lactation kink, (let me know if I miss any )

You were done waiting on her. She told you that she was done with the broken promises, and the worst part was that you believed her. When you agreed to be her housewife you thought it would be less cooking, cleaning, housework and more wife.

It seems as though all you do is cook the meals that she demands, yet she never actually eats, do her laundry, clean her house, and be used as her personal fucktoy. She was never like this when you guys were dating. You used to have fun together, she used to look at you with that special twinkle in her eyes, while she held your hands and showered you with praises. You couldn’t remember the last time she even complimented you on something other than your body.

Yet you stayed, it’s not like she didn’t love you, I mean she paid the bills, you never wanted for anything. And the sex. The sex was incredible. She would take you whenever she wanted and it was always hot and passionate. You just wished she would bring romance back into the relationship and make you feel wanted.

You figured Natasha didn’t try anymore because she got too confident that you would never leave. She’s every woman’s dream being a millionaire CEO, who is exceptionally sexy, with her long red hair and the muscular body that she spends hours upholding everyday in the gym. But that didn’t matter to you, you missed the Natasha she was when you were dating, your gentle Natty who would pursue you each and every day, take you on thoughtful dates and cuddle you to sleep every night. You were going to teach her that she needs to put in effort in order to keep you.

”Babe, i’m home.” she says, walking through the front door throwing her stuff to the side, expecting you to pick it up later. “Where are you?” she wondered why you weren’t in the kitchen cooking or cleaning up like you normally were. 

Walking through the house to look for you, she noticed the light was on in the closet of the master bedroom. “What are you doing, babe?” She asked with a furrowed brow as she saw you haphazardly throwing clothes into bags.

”Packing!” You said with a tight lip, pacing around the room trying to get your stuff together.

”Baby, stop! What’s going on? Where do you think you are going?” She said with an amused smirk. 

“What the hell do you think is so funny! Everyday you come in here and treat me like i’m your fucking sex slave that’s just here to please you and be your maid! I am packing my bags and staying with my sister.”, You said while trying to push past her before she grabbed you by your wrist to stop you and turn you to face her. 

“You’re not gonna leave me baby, you know I love you. Daddy is just so stressed out from work, that it’s hard for me to do all the romantic things you love to do.” She says while holding you by the waist. 

“It’s just that I want you to try, there are tons of women that would beg to take me out and buy me flowers, so I think I am going to go find one of them.” You said trying to break away before feeling a harsh sting on your cheek. 

“You are such a slut, any excuse to whore yourself out to everyone. I bet this bag is filled with skimpy thongs and tight dresses for you to escapade around the town in.” She says as she rips the bag out of your hands and grabs both of your hands behind your back and leads you to the bed. 

Pushing you face down on the bed, she rips your house dress down as you try to wriggle from her hold and smiles when she sees that you are without underwear. 

“Look at how pretty you are baby, I can’t believe you thought you were gonna leave me. You are mine, all the panties in that bag are only for me to see. Do you understand!” She says as she harshly slaps your ass. “You know maybe if I fill you up and make you pregnant you’ll be happier with my long hours, having someone to keep you company. 

“Come here.”, She says pulling you up into all fours, before swiping her fingers through your pussy. “You’re so wet for me baby. Is the thought of me getting you pregnant turning you on?” 

“Yes daddy. Please fuck me, i’m sorry.”, You said while humping back into her trying to reach back and unbutton her dress slacks. 

She swats your hands and moves to unbutton her pants and pull them along with her underwear down and tosses them across the room. Her 9 inch length pops out and hits your cunt and starts to harden, she then begins to jerk herself off in order to fully harden. 

Before slipping in she spreads your ass with hands on both cheeks and licks all throughout your cunt, up and down taking your clit between her teeth. “My goodness baby, I can never get over how good you taste.”, She says after pulling away and planting kisses all over your ass and cunt, licking and sucking on the skin of your cheeks in order to leave bruises. 

“God baby you make me so hard I just have to fuck you.”, She says after pulling away from your ass and lining her cock up with your entrance. With one strong thrust she bottoms out causing you to yelp. Picking up the pace, she grips your hips and with a steady speed she continues to ram into you from behind.

“Oh Natty, please it feels so good. You fuck me so well, I can’t take it i’m gonna cum.”, You say humping back onto her trying to match her pace. 

“Oh not yet baby, you better hold it until I fill you up with my kids.” She husked into your ear, while reaching down to play with your clit. That combined with the unmatched stamina she has from her daily workouts, is making it impossible to hold out.

”Please, please, please, Nat please I’m gonna cum!” 

“Okay baby, don’t worry I got you. I’m right there with you, so cum when you’re ready.” She grunts out in your ear while violently ramming into you trying to catch her high. “Uhh, there you go. Take it all, baby take all my cum.” She releases her load into your cunt, causing you to come right after her. Pulling out she flips you over and pushes you onto your back, fingering the oozing cum back into you to make sure it sticks. 

Pulling her fingers out of your cunt, she licks them and then kisses up your body. Starting between your thighs, she kisses a trail up your stomach, stopping when reaching your chest. “You’re gonna look so sexy as the mother of my children.”, She says while pulling your nipple into her hot mouth, sucking and taking the other one between her skilled fingers, pulling and twisting. “I can’t wait for these tits to be filled with your sweet milk, for me to drink.”

“You know you can’t just fuck me and expect me to forget what i’m upset about!”, You say in between moans as she continues her assault on your boobs.

”Okay, yeah you’re right baby. Tell me, what were you upset about?”, She says, lifting her head from your breasts, looking face to face, with a smirk. 

“No, i’m being serious. Of course I want us to have kids, but I don’t want to feel like a single mother. I want a wife that cares about her kids and spends family time with them and her wife. Please, Nat, I hate that I have to beg you to romance me and make me feel like I mean something to you!” You sit up and cover yourself with the blanket, while you wait for her to reply.

“Yes I understand baby, come here.” She says while pulling you into her lap. “I know i’m not the most present with you, and it seems like I only care about your body when I am stressed out from work, but I don’t. You are the love of my life, and I couldn’t live without you. I am so sorry that I have been so lousy at showing you that. I promise that I will try everyday to show you how much you mean to me and how much I need you. I don’t even know what I was thinking, not treating you like the goddess you are.” She said, grabbing you by the face and placing a kiss on your mouth. 

You move to straddle her hips and grind down on her length, “Okay, baby if that’s how you feel I think we should keep going if we are gonna start trying to have a family.”, You say, leaning in to kiss her again.

[mellowsaturns]

someone’s calling my name (and it sounds like you)

BUCKY BARNES X FEM!READER

summary: after a mission gone wrong, bucky finds himself on the brink of unconsciousness and then you show up which causes him to reveal his true feelings

warnings: hurt!bucky, sad!reader, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, description of injuries, whump-ish, pining, confessions, typical self-deprecating bucky behaviour

wc: 2.1k

- - - 

“Why isn’t the serum working!?” you scream, pressing onto Bucky’s wound as hard as you can.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

It was Bucky’s last day on his week-long mission. He was supposed to enter the abandoned bunker to scope for any remaining files on biohazardous weapons that the enemy might still have laying around to make sure they don’t fall into the wrong hands.

But when you and Nat went to pick him up at the rendezvous spot, he was perched against a tree—bloodied and limp. He couldn’t even make it into the cabin that was only a few feet away.

And when you ran over, the sight of him made your stomach drop.

“The wounds are too deep. The serum can’t heal the tissues in time,” Nat yells from the cockpit of the Quinjet. “He needs medical attention. I’ve already contacted Tony to have the team ready.”

Bucky squirms underneath you, eyes still closed as painful grunts escape his lips.

You curse and fight back tears, hands turning more and more crimson each minute. “Nat,” you whimper, “please fly faster.”

“I’m trying my best,” she replies.

You rip a piece of cloth nearby and try your best to bandage his abdomen as tight as possible to slow the bleeding. He lets out a loud agonizing noise this time, one that raises every single hair on your body.

“It’s going to be alright, okay? We’re almost at the Compound,” you assure.

“Got ambushed,” he manages to say through the pain.

You had a feeling he did. “I know.” You bring one of your hands to squeeze his, “How are you feeling?”

There’s a nasty bruise forming around his eye, a busted lip, ghastly cuts splitting the leather of his stealth suit and most notably, the bullet wound in his abdomen that’s causing most of the blood loss. You can already tell by the look on his face that he’s in so much pain—which says a lot since he’s enhanced—so it’s a redundant question, really. But anything to keep his stream of consciousness going.

“Hurts,” he groans. “How bad is it?”

“Nothing that can’t be fixed,” you say, being as optimistic as possible. “Can you open your eyes for me?”

The slow and gentle fluttering of his lashes reminds you of the first snow.

You take a deep breath before mustering a smile. “Hey Bucky.”

Bucky stares for a while. Then your name comes out as a quiet whisper, so delicate that you almost miss it due to your loud distressed heartbeat.

“Yes,” you nod, “it’s me. I’m here.”

“How?”

In truth, you weren’t supposed to be here. Nat was the one assigned to pick Bucky up but ever since you woke up today, an eerie bad feeling surrounded and loomed over you like a dark cloud. It just felt like something wasn’t right—an anxious feeling growing stronger and stronger each passing minute. And when you saw Nat at breakfast, the words, “Let me come with you,” came out of your mouth before you could even stop it.

“I came with Nat,” you answer, voice quivering when you’re reminded of your intuition. I knew it.

“No. You can’t be her,” he says, “you can’t.”

“What do you mean?” you question while pushing the hairs from his forehead. You turn his head to check for any signs of a concussion. “I’m right here.”

“You can’t…” he continues to persist. “She wouldn’t come all the way for me.”

What?

“Bucky, what are you saying? What do you mean she wouldn’t come all the way for you?”

“I’m not worth her time,” he mumbles.

You freeze, finally understanding the situation. He doesn’t believe you’re actually here. He thinks you aren’t real, that you are someone else. “Bucky, I— ”

He cuts you off, “There’s nothing I can offer her. Why would she care for me?”

After Hydra and all the shit he’s been through, he never thought he would be able to feel the normal emotions an average person would feel ever again. Then he got formally introduced to the team after deciding he was finally ready to join the Avengers and his heart skipped a beat at the sight of you—a feeling he hadn’t experienced since what felt like forever. And when he finally got to know you, Bucky never felt so alive. The interactions during team missions and exchanges around the Tower had Bucky falling hopelessly in love with you.

He clears his throat and a tender smile appears. “She’s so special. Has this amazing smile and cutest laugh. She also has the kindest heart but always kicks ass when she needs to,” he says.

Bucky never thought he would love again until you. But he knows the feeling will never be reciprocated. Friendship was one thing, but devoting yourself to someone was something else entirely. And who would want to be with someone as messed up as him?

His smile slowly turns into a frown. “But I’m just… me and there’s nothing I could offer her. There’s nothing to love.”

Your lips tremble at his words, too distraught to even notice the tear sliding down your face.

How can he talk about himself like this? Doesn’t he know that there is so much to admire and cherish? Sometimes, you even think you need a bigger heart, perhaps even two, in order to fit all the love you have for him.

That amazing smile he mentioned was only evident because of him. The smile that only appears when he’s around. Like when he offers to stay with you to clean up the training room. Or when he chooses the spot next to you during movie night.

That cute laugh he mentioned was most of his doing—like whenever he tells dad jokes that don't really make any sense until he explains it, only for you to laugh harder when you finally do. Or when Tony gets angry at you winning ‘Avengers Game Night’ three times in a row and you laugh because Bucky helped you cheat, again.

And that kind heart he mentioned was because Bucky made you want to become a better person. But like he said, you could kick ass too, and you promise you would find and hunt down every single person that laid a hand on him.

You and Bucky never got past anything but the occasional teasing. And you never tried anything further, fearing rejection. But you were okay with just him being there. It didn’t matter if he was beside you, next to you or in front of you—if he was there, you were happy.

So how can he say he had nothing to offer you when his mere presence was enough?

You meet his eyes, both yours and his glistening with each other’s reflection. “You’re wrong.”

Bucky repeats your words in his head. You’re wrong.

Maybe he is wrong. Maybe he’s more than just an ex-brainwashed-assassin. Maybe he’s actually worthy of your love. And maybe you really are in front of him. It’s hard to tell. It feels like he’s in the Austrian Alps again—on the brink between life and death. But unlike the last time, there’s someone with him who’s holding his hand and guiding him through everything. Someone who looks breathtakingly like you. Must be an angel, he thinks.

“Bucky, you’re wrong,” you repeat. “There’s so much to love about you.” There’s so much I love about you.

“What does she think?”

He keeps referring to you in third-person, still not believing you're actually here and it breaks your heart a little.

You sniffle. “I think she feels the same. I’m sure she can go on and on about what she likes about you.”

“When I was escaping, all I could think about was her.”

You let out a shaky breath at his comment because all you could think about was him on the way here.

“I was… I was scared that I might not ever see her again. There’s still something I have to tell her, but whenever I try, it can’t come out.”

“And what is it that you want to tell her?”

He gulps. “That I love her.”

You let out a small cry and hold onto his hand even tighter, hoping he’ll understand.

He recoils and takes a sharp inhale as another shot of pain runs through him. It’s getting hard to talk but there’s still one question he needs to ask who he assumes is his guardian angel. “Do you think she could’ve loved me?”

His words finally break you. “I think…” you choke out, struggling to wipe the tears running relentlessly down your face, “I think she could’ve loved you.”

His eyes are slowly starting to flutter shut from exhaustion. “You think so?”

You nod and try your best to hold back your half smothered sobs. “In fact, she does love you. But she’s just too scared to tell you and it’s been gnawing at her forever,” you cry out, cradling his face with your free hand.

Your hand is caked with his blood and right there and then, you notice how human he looks. Despite having the super soldier serum flowing through his veins, he’s not invincible. He’s human. He can get hurt. He had fears. He could succumb to injuries. For a moment, you think about a life without someone like Bucky Barnes in it. You don’t think you would be able to smile again.

“She loves you too, Bucky. So don’t talk like you’re never going to see her again. Because you need to survive this so the both of you can tell each other everything.”

Survive this. He can do that, he thinks. His lovely angel is telling him that you love him. He needs to survive this and get back—back to you.

He closes his eyes and gives a weak smile, trying his best to fight off the unconsciousness that’s threatening to take over.

“Landing in two minutes!” Nat shouts.

When the Quinjet hits the ground, numerous medics come and place Bucky onto a stretcher. And as they push him to the medical bay, you hold his hand the whole way.

When you reach the entrance to the surgery room, Dr. Cho stops you for a second. “I’m sorry but you can’t enter beyond this point,” she tells you with apologetic eyes.

You nod, but before you go, “Hey, Bucky,” you quip, hoping somehow he’ll hear you. “You’re almost there. Don’t give up, okay?”

You take one last look at him before lifting his hand. “She’ll be there when you wake up,” you mutter, pressing your lips against his bruised knuckles.

And in the silence, a small whisper of “You promise?” escapes his lips and you hook your pinky with his before they wheel him into the surgery room.

Hours later, Dr. Cho finally comes out and you let out the loudest breath of relief when she says he’s stable, giving you the thumbs up to visit him.

The rest of the team joins, but you’re the one who opts to stay. Nat gives you a comforting pat on the back before you are finally left alone on the couch, the beeping of the monitor joining your saturnine sighs.

When he finally wakes, he squeezes your hand that was intertwined with his all night. You’re here, Bucky whispers to himself.

Your eyes flutter open, face brightening at the sight of him. “You’re awake.”

Bucky looks at you and panic arises at the sight of your blood-soaked shirt. But he slowly starts to remember what happened. He realizes that it was real after all. You really were there. You came for him and you stayed. And perhaps, maybe somewhere deep within him, he knew it was real all along, real enough to get him through.

“I have to tell you something,” the both of you blurt out in unison, wasting no time because life’s too precious to wait.

You both let out a small chuckle. You already know what he’s going to say—his confession is still clear in your mind. And he knows what you’re going to say, he vaguely remembers you saying the words he always wanted to hear.

“You need to rest,” you insist. “Let me… let me go first,” you say nervously.

You start from the beginning, from the moment you woke up to when he got wheeled into the operation room. And you weren’t joking when you said you could go on and on about what you like about him—you think you spent an entire hour telling him. Somewhere in-between, he wipes your tears away. You tell him your feelings and he blushes and beams at you as if he didn’t just go through a near-death experience hours ago.

“… Next time, I’m going with you on every single mission.”

“You’re not going to get sick of me?”

“I think I should be the one asking you that.”

“Impossible,” he says in certainty.

Bucky could never get sick of you. Bucky wants you there, every moment, everyday. Just like how you stayed with him through everything not once letting go of his hand, he’s going to stick by you too, no matter what happens.

[yelenasdiary]

For flufftober could you please use prompt8 for a natasha x reader (romantic) with y/n looking after natasha when shes sick with a cold for the first time in years?

Oh, How The Tables Have Turned

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: On the super rare occasion that your girlfriend falls ill, you take care of her.

Warnings: None, all Fluff! | 0.9K

Translations: Dorogoy (sweetheart), Detka (baby),

AC: I wasn’t sure if you meant prompt #8 from my prompt list so I just went without a prompt. I hope you enjoy! x

October Special Masterlist

The harsh coughing coming from the bathroom alerted you that Natasha was home from her mission, waking you up with every cough that she couldn't control. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and looked over at your phone to read the time, "8:43am". "Natty?" you questioned as you slipped out of bed, sliding your feet into your fluffy slippers to keep them from getting cold on the tiles in the bathroom. You walked down the hall and saw Nat with her hair wrapped in a towel, she turned to you and smiled, "Hey dorogoy"

"Are you okay?" you asked with a raised brow. Natasha's nose was as red as Rudolph the red nose reindeer and her tone was stuffy. "I'm fine" she replied before another cough ripped through her chest. "Yeah, you sound it" you shook your head as you walked into the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed the jar of vaporub, "here, rub this on your chest and on the bridge of your nose" you handed it to the red head. 

"Oh, no, love, I don't need that" Natasha placed the jar on the sink's countertop, ignoring the fact she was in fact under the weather with the common cold. You shrugged at her stubbornness, "okay baby, if you say so" you playfully rolled your eyes before leaving the bathroom to make some tea. 

Natasha spent the day in bed to catch up on the sleep she had missed while away, every now and then you could hear her sneezing, coughing and groaning at her blocked nose. It was only a matter of time before the tough assassin would call out your name. You were doing some work from home in your home office, sipping tea while you worked through the pile of paperwork that was emailed to you over the weekend. You had just finished typing out an email when you heard Nat calling out for you. 

"Yes Natty?" you smiled softly at your partner who was losing the fight with the bug. 

"Could you please make me one of them teas you drink when you're sick?" she asked, sitting up to blow her nose. She broke and you couldn't help but tell her so, "Does my big, tough assassin have the cold? My poor baby" you jokingly teased, "I'll make you some tea, do you want the VapoRub now?" you added. Natasha nodded, "yes please" she replied as she sent you a playful glare. 

You grabbed the VapoRub and made Natasha a hot mug of lemon and honey tea before returning to the shared bedroom to give them to her. "I'm going to run to the store and get some things to make you soup" you placed a kiss on her forehead, she groaned and pulled you onto her lap making you giggle, "please don't go, stay" she begged, "we could cuddle and I'm sure I'll be fine by the morning" she added. 

"Baby, when was the last time you were sick?" You asked her. She shrugged, "I don't know, like 5 years ago or so" she replied while racking her brain to remember. "And when I get sick, am I usually okay by the next day?" you asked the following question, Natasha shook her head, "no, you're usually worse"

"Exactly" you sat up, sliding off her lap, "get comfy and put on your favourite movie, I'll be back in no time" you placed another kiss on her forehead before handing her the remote to the bedroom TV. 

When you returned from the store, you placed the groceries on the kitchen island and went to check on Nat who was fast asleep with a used tissue still in the palm of her hand. Gently, you took the used tissue and threw it into the small bin that Nat had beside the bed and made sure to tuck her in before taking her temperature with the back of your hand. She stirred slightly, "detka?" she mumbled. 

"Shh baby, go back to sleep" you replied before turning the TV off and leaving the room to make a large pot of chicken and corn noodle soup. 

You knew when Natasha was awake again, her coughing was her giveaway. Lucky for her, you brought everything she needed to help fight the nasty bug. You dished up two bowls of soup, made Nat a fresh lemon and honey tea and grabbed the box of cold & flu tablets you brought, placing it all on a large tray to take to her in bed. 

"Hi sleepy head" you smiled softly as you entered the bedroom, Natasha quickly sat up, her eyes a reddish color and her nose still as red as it was this morning. "You're enjoying this too much" Nath shook her head as you placed the tray over her lap, "maybe just a little" you replied before taking your bowl of soup and walked around to your side of the bed. 

"You should probably sleep in the guest room detka, I don't want you getting what I have" Natasha looked over at you and watched as you got into bed, "are you kidding me? I'm usually the one who gets sick! If you think I am going to miss the chance to take care of you, you're dreaming" you replied with a chuckle. Natasha just shook her head at your stubbornness and filled her mouth with the goodness of homemade soup. 

After dinner, Natasha snuggled up to you as you both watched a movie, your fingers rang through her hair as she began to drift into another slumber. You didn't care if you would catch her bug, you just wanted her to know that you would always look after her and not just when she was sick. She might be the world's famous Black Widow but to you, she's Natasha Romanoff, the woman you love.

Taglist: @red1culous | @sayah13 | @charl-lally | @when-wolves-howl | @bentleywolf29 | @fxckmiup | @natasha-belova | @blackwidow-3 | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @observeowl | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @apollo2907 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @ahintofchaos | @fluffyblanketgecko | @puta1 | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @tintedrose12 | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @donnietarantino | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @natashamaximoff69 | @hehehehannahthings | @pandaemonium111 | @imnotslouching | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @marvel-madnessx | @scarsw1fe | @toldthatdevil | @itsmv3 | @natashaswife4125 | @katiemay-025 | @aphrcdtes | @romanoffs-widow | @natsxwife | @maria-403 | @boredandneedfanfics | @wandamaximoffspuppup | @xox-little-troublemaker-xox | @shibugs | @music-4ever | 

[natashaslesbian]

We Saved Each Other (Part Nine)

Summary: your mom lets her walls down after a nightmare

Word Count: 828

Warnings: Red Room

A/N- a slightly shorter part today but some vulnerable Natasha to lead us into the finale

————

The wheels were rough against the floor, they made for a bumpy ride down the hall. Natasha laid still atop the gurney, watching the ceiling lights pass by. She glanced at two young girls from the corner of her eyeline, both standing to attention with braids falling pass their shoulders. They watched as Natasha was wheeled by, silenced from the world with their mouths sown shut. Two large grey doors swung open as the redhead was taken into the surgical suite. The bright white lights came blinding into Natasha’s vision taking over her senses as she struggled to take a deep breath. Her limbs felt as heavy as concrete, she struggled to lift her own body. Using all her strength she rolled onto one side, pulling herself to the edge of the gurney before she fell straight towards the floor.

Natasha gasped as she hit the carpet, scrambling to sit up and scan her surroundings. Realising she was safe in Clint’s barn house, the redhead pushed herself to sit against the bed. Tears escaped her as she relived the events of her nightmare. “Mommy?” A small voice called from the doorway. “Y/n baby” Natasha said as she looked up to find you fiddling with your fingers “mommy’s okay sweetie, I just- ugh fell off the bed” Nat stuttered “what are you doing up?” She asked “I heard a bang” you mumbled. Your mom was mortified, not only had she woken you up but she’d probably scared you. You were still getting used to sleeping in your bedroom, it had taken weeks for you to even spend an entire night there. “I’m sorry sweetie I didn’t mean to wake you” Natasha said as she pulled herself up off the floor.

You wandered into your mom’s bedroom as she took a seat on her bed “why are you crying mama? Are you sad?” You quietly asked. Natasha looked down at your little brown eyes, her guilt eating her up. “Yeah, yeah I am a bit baby” she said, knowing that deep down she needed your comfort this time round. “Why?” You innocently asked. “Well I had a nightmare” your mom said as she pulled you onto her lap “like me?” You questioned. Natasha nodded slowly as she quickly wiped away her stray tears. “I didn’t know grown ups had scary dreams” you said sadly, upset that your mommy felt the same way you did after a nightmare. “Yeah they do baby, grown ups get scared and upset just like you little ones do” Natasha explained “what makes you feel better mama?” You asked. “You do sweetie, you always make me feel better. After a bad day or if I’m scared or sad it’s always you that makes me feel better” your mom smiled.

Ever since Natasha had taken you in, she’d been so focused on making you feel safe that she almost missed what you were doing for her. Your mom did everything possible to help heal your past trauma, but somewhere in the process hers had started to heal too. And it was because of you. Natasha always thought she was beyond saving, she was too broken for anyone to care about her. From the moment she was born, Natasha’s choices where made for her and her childhood was stolen. Every aspect of her life was controlled and the one choice she thought she’d always have was ripped away from her, no amount of freedom could change the forced workings of her body. In her eyes, having a child meant creating a life she had always wanted, she didn’t realise that in that journey she would find her own happiness.

You smiled widely as you cuddled into your mommy thrilled that you were able to make her happy. “You know what makes me feel better mama?” You cutely asked “what?” Natasha asked “Sprinkles! I give him a big cuddle and then I don’t feel scared” you said as you threw your arms in the air to show how much you loved your stuffed companion. “And there’s another thing too!” You beamed “what?” Your mom repeated “you mommy!” You cheered. “I make you feel better?” Natasha asked with a huge grin. “Of course mommy!” You sighed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world “you’re my favourite person in the whole wide world!” You said as you reached out your arms to show the size of the world. “You saved me mama” you said as you stared up at her warmly. “And you saved me baby girl” Natasha said as she pulled you up onto her lap, you pulled yourself into her embrace and she carefully pulled the duvet up above both of you. “I love you y/n” your mom said as she ran her fingers through your hair, soothing the both of you to sleep. “Love you more mommy” you mumbled quietly, eyes already fluttering closed, knowing that the two of you were safe and warm.

————

Taglist<3

@saraaahsstuff / @dannipotatoo / @tobiaslut / @nevaeh-daughterofvalcarol / @marvelnatasha12346 / @yelenasdiary / @mousetheorist / @ashadash0904 / @strange-night-owl / @kkreader78o

[dameronology]

it's cold outside (natasha romanoff)

for @wokeupinawalnut - for the fic giveaway organised by @startrekkingaroundasgard. i apologise for how late this is, but i hope you enjoy & happy holidays🥰

summary: coming home to you is always natasha's favourite thing

Natasha Romanoff hadn't expected your shared apartment to be so fucking arctic when she came home.

New York was cold at the best of times but it seemed bitingly so when the Quintjet came in to land early that morning. It was too cold even for snow and that just felt like insult to injury. Still though, it was hard for Natasha to feel sad about the weather, knowing that this mission was going to be the team's last before their Christmas break. The idea of getting home, switching off her phone and existing just in the plains of your apartment had been the only thing getting her through. So, after exchanging goodbyes with the rest of the Avengers, Nat hung up her uniform and got into a taxi.

Naturally, every would reunite on the day of Christmas at Tony Stark's insistence, but until then, they'd be off to their own homes. Steve and Bucky back to Brooklyn, Clint back to the farm, Thor back to New Asgard and Tony back to wherever it was that Morgan demanded. The journey for Nat wasn't very long - just over the bridge to your loft in Williamsburg. She'd lived there for the better part of three years now, when she'd come to stay the night a few weeks into your relationship and just never left.

The cold air hit her like a knife (and it was safe to say that Natasha might be the only person here who would know that feeling with accuracy). Even though it was early in the morning - just gone 7AM - you were passed out on the couch, a duvet bundled around you and several blankets. The TV was still on Netflix, the classic are you still watching? messaged displayed on the screen. With that, Nat could easily deduce that you'd probably fallen asleep watching it last night.

"Hey," she leant down beside you, gently brushing a hand over your face. A nice, warm hand against your freezing skin. "Hey. I'm back."

You peeled open one eye, a grin spreading across your tired face. "Nat, hey."

"Why's it so cold in here?" she asked.

"The heating broke," you grumbled. "I called the landlord last night but he's gone back to Arizona for Christmas. We still have hot water so that's...something."

"That explains it," she rolled her eyes. "You're freezing-"

"- Nat," you sat up, duvet falling off your shoulders. "You can turn off mum mode, okay? I know you've just spent a week straight with the guys but I am not stupid like them."

Natasha gave you a smile, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "You're right. Sorry."

"How was the mission?"

"Boring," she took a seat on the sofa beside you, laying her legs over yours. "We went in, got the intel we needed, came home. Textbook, really."

"But did you look good doing it?"

"Of course I did," she grinned. Natasha gave your leg a squeeze before standing up and sticking out her hand, head nodding towards the bathroom. "C'mon, a warm shower will help."

Begrudgingly rolling out of your blanket palace, you followed your girlfriend through the apartment and to the bathroom. If you hadn't missed her so much, you wouldn't have moved come hell or high water. Still though, a warm shower didn't seem like the worst idea. Natasha certainly wanted one after days of trekking through Siberia and honestly, she just wanted to hold you close. Seven days apart wasn't even the longest she'd gone without seeing you.

You stood there like a lemon with ease as she did most the work - just bubbles and soft kisses from Natasha.

The run from the shower to the bedroom was jarring. Clothes flew everywhere as you both ripped apart the wardrobe in an attempt to find the warmest clothes - you were more successful in your attempt, finding some thermal bottoms and a thick hoodie. Six pairs of fluffy socks later, you were content.

"Those are mine," Natasha scowled. "I was looking for those-"

"- they were in my side of the wardrobe," you replied, holding up your hands in defence. "Finders, losers, Nat."

"That's not fair! Those are my special warm socks!"

"Now they're my special warm socks."

Before you could even finish your sentence, Natasha had crossed the room and thrown you onto the bed. She pinned your arms above your head, hands wrapped around your wrists and hair dripping little cold drops of water onto you. You let out a shriek as she did, trying to wriggle free.

"Say your sorry!" she demanded. There was no point in arguing, or trying to wriggle your way out of the grip of a highly trained assassin. She was freakishly strong.

"No!"

"Say. Your. Sorry!"

You tried to fight back a laugh, gaze avoiding Natasha's. "No."

"You're so mean," she pouted. Still, she leant down and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, smiling against you.

Natasha rolled off the bed, once again signalling for you to follow after her. She made her way over to the kitchen, hands moving in autopilot to turn on the kettle and pull things out the cabinets.

"Shouldn't I be the one making you breakfast?" you asked. "You just came from a week long mission-"

"- shuddup and sit down," she said. "You're colder than me. Wrap up and I'll be there in two minutes."

Smiling to yourself, you returned to the sofa. It was perfectly indented from where you'd spent the last two days sat there, but you moved some cushions aside to make room for Natasha. As promised, two minutes later she returned with two mugs of coffee and a bagel for you. She'd known since the day you met how you took your coffee; she was trained to be observant but in some way, knowing the intricate details of your life was her love language. There were very few things she didn't know.

Natasha pressed a kiss to your temple, pulling the duvet over herself as she snuggled up next to you. She was perpetually warm - a curse in the summer but a blessing during times like this. You shuffled closer, leaning your head on her shoulder.

"You good there?" she asked.

"Yeah," you smiled. "Just glad you're home."

[8bitscarlet]

If We Said Goodbye

Summary: You were scared of the future, you always saw it's worst possibilities. Being with Wanda, you began to saw the best possibilities. And the moment you began to plan for the best, that's when the worst had it's chance.

Pairing: Wanda x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Angst (mention of alcohol, consumption of alcohol, blood mention, death of a major character)

Word Count: 5.5k

A/N: Italics is a flashback. No writer's block but all my energy is going to angst, so this is the road we find ourselves in. 😂 Happy Reading everyone! 💕

*please do not repost or translate my material or claim as yours. reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated!*

_____________________________

The wind blows comfortably across the wooden deck, making the porch wind chimes sing out a quiet tune. The sun is dipping down closer to the evening, coloring the sky with a darkening orange as you run your finger down your sweating drink.

You purse your lips together, thinking back on the conversation you just had. A terse conversation that started out light hearted. 

A chair scrapes out along the wood and you glance up, watching as Bucky sits down across from you. You sigh out, leaning back against the chair and glance around him.

You can see her. Red hair falling out of her bun as she helps pin down Barton to the grass, his kids sprinting from the side of the house with freshly filled water guns. Their laughs are clear as day and you can hear her’s, sending your stomach twisting. 

“It’s nice to see Barton can have a family and still have time to save the world,” you sip from your ice cold drink, clearing your throat.

“Jealous?” Bucky’s tone suggests a rhetorical question but you answer anyway. 

Clenching your brows, you glance away from the dog pile occurring, “Why would I be jealous?”

“Because that’s exactly what you want,”

You narrow your eyes but can’t stop the sigh that leaves your lips, “Uh huh, right. Besides, I’m missing a few key components.”

“Come on,” Bucky stares at you and without spilling a drop, cracks open another beer, “I overheard that conversation you had with her. There’s feelings there, you’re just denying it.”

“There’s nothing to deny. There’s a mission. And I’m focusing on that,” you reach forward and rip the can from his fingers. Sloshing it against the table as he tries to keep grasp on it. 

Grunting as he pushes away from the table, you hear him muttering to himself as he flips open the cooler, “You’re scared. You don’t want to break her heart. Better yet,” the can hisses, “You don’t want her to break yours. Stop blaming it on the mission.”

You look down at the tab of your beer, rocking it back and forth until it snaps off, “She doesn’t deserve to have her heart broken.”

“Nobody does,” Bucky crosses his foot over the other as he leans next to your arm, “but you’re never going to get this, if you don’t grow a pair.”

Rolling your eyes, you knock your hand against his arm as he chokes slightly on the beer, some of it rolling down his nose. You stand, “You just want to say that I copied you by also dating a red head,”

He shrugs, “True. But if you really care about her, then you need to see all of this through her eyes. She’s probably just as scared as you. Look at her,” he points down towards the side of the house. Wanda is fluffing up Fanny’s face as Nat clips the harness on the dog. Fanny needs never ending walks when Yelena is away on mission and Wanda is always happy to take her. Usually you join her, but she didn’t come searching for you this time. 

“You can’t let her slip away.”

You shake your head, “And what if I die?”

Bucky sighs, crossing his arm over as his chin rests on the top of his beer, “You have got to stop thinking about every possible bad thing. What if I cut my finger on your broken tab and get an infection and I die? See? It’s stupid.”

Rolling your eyes, you toss your empty can into the trash, “Now, that’s just ridiculous,”

“You’re being ridiculous!” Bucky calls after you as you descend down the stairs, swinging your keys on your finger. 

The breeze follows you as you drive with the window of your truck down, the smell of evergreen trees growing the longer you drive. And you don’t drive too long, you spend longer sitting in the bed of the truck. Swinging your legs, you catch the sound of branches snapping and a soft voice talking. You chuckle, it sounds more like a therapy session with the occasional barking response of the therapist. 

Fanny makes it through the brush first and sees you. She takes off in a dead sprint, flinging herself straight into the back of the truck and climbing onto your back. You chuckle, 

“Oh, well now look who it is. Going on a walk without me? You traitor!” you laugh as the dog wiggles through any attempt you make at petting them. 

“You know dogs,” Wanda wraps the leash around her fingers, “They can sense bad energy.”

You hum, “As long as she got a proper walk. You know if you actually ran that whole five mile loop, it’s a decent warmup.”

“Oh really?” Wanda runs her hand down Fanny’s back, “And what if that was my cool down?”

“Pretty weak if I’m honest,” you scoot over slightly on the tailgate, “I do the out and back for my cool down.”

Wanda chuckles as she hauls herself up, Fanny keeping the two of you separated, “You’re so irritating,” Her green eyes glow as they reach yours, working down and seeing you’re still dressed in jeans and your button down, “You aren’t going out for your own warmup?”

You swing your legs, angling your boots that aren’t really made for running. She looks at you as you glance back up, watching how her pupils grow and a reddening in her cheeks as you both brush over the same part of Fanny, “What’s wrong?”

With a sigh, you think back on what Bucky said only a few moments ago, “Look. I need to make a few things clear here.”

Wanda’s face falls slightly as she sits ever so slightly rigid. She doesn’t speak a word, just waits for the bomb you’re about to drop on her lap. 

“I don’t like your weird vegan cardboard food that you make me eat once a week. It tastes like dirt, frankly.” you shiver at the thought of the last one she made you, “I don’t like that you’re seemingly right all the time. I don’t like that I need your help when I thought I was fine alone. And I definitely don’t like that you’re making me do this,”

Wanda grins slightly, “Do what exactly?”

Squeezing your fist and stretching out your fingers to attempt to release the energy inside of you, you look up at her, “Tell you that I like you. Just being completely and totally honest. I really like you.”

Her grin grows and her hand that brushed through Fanny’s fur rests on your cheek as her lips press against yours. You smile, her lips the softest things you’ve ever felt and this, the best kiss you’ve had, even with a handful of fur in your mouth.

“I owe someone a beer,” she whispers against your lips,

You groan, “I can’t believe you made a bet about this.”

“Forgive me?” she whispers, her lips pressing against your nose and watching your eyes open with a grin,

“Only if I get one too,”

________________________________

You sigh, staring into your mug of black liquid. It doesn’t steam but has white foam as you attempt to hide what it is to any passing person. Sipping from it, you grimace. Even though it’s not steaming, it isn’t pleasantly cold. Muttering to yourself, you pull your pant legs over your tied shoes and look into the mirror to finish getting dressed. One of the last things you seem capable of it seems. 

Tucking in your shirt tighter, you run your hand down and along your belt. Ensuring the buckle is centered, you work your eyes back up until they rest on themselves. They’re stained red, puffed and glistening more than usual. Pressing your hand against a small box in the breast pocket of the jacket you’ve slung over the chair, you feel a lump in your throat grow. 

Peering outside the window of the room you’re in, the gathering is an unusual energy. Something you’re certainly not used to. Granted, you aren’t really used to being here anyways. You always thought it was hot and stuffy and now, you know you’ll never be back. The beer is hot, you glance back at your mug, and the folk are cold. The time is young but there’s not a single person trying to rile anything up. If anything, they all want the time to end as quickly as possible. 

Buttoning the jacket as you step out of the room, there’s an unsubtle hush that falls over the room. Everyone is dressed up like you, scattered around the gathering area outside of stained glass with chairs that are somehow more uncomfortable than the pews inside. You feel old as you loiter around the area, giving subtle nods to people you pass as your fingers grip tighter to the mug in your hand. You just want to go home and away from this crowd of people. Their eyes on you because they know exactly why you’re here. Who you’re all waiting on.

A silver haired gentleman breaks through the crowd, his presence bringing whispers instead of hushed silence. As he makes his way towards you, he raises a thermos that should be holding coffee. But as he hands you the second one he holds, you grin  and see you’ve both learned the same trick. Beer looks so much like coffee. 

“You prepare anything?”

Sipping on the lukewarm liquid, you still can’t believe you forgot to put the cans in the fridge, “I was never one to write a speech. Besides, I might not have to.”

Pietro hums, “You’re like me than. Wanda could spew out a speech without a thought. That maid of honor one had everyone crying and the only thing she worked on was saying their names in Russian. Totally unfair,”

You never thought you’d have to make a speech in front of people. The plan was always to do it in private, together. The facts in front of you though, changed all your plans. 

“There’s gotta be something you say. Something that comes to mind when you hear her name.”

Your brows raise slightly, there’s a million things that come to your mind. You don’t know if many of them are appropriate for this moment though. They would be much better off staying inside of your brain. 

“Her eyes are like rarest emeralds and her kisses, they’re like rain. They can calm any ounce of nerves in my body,” you skim your thumb against your lip, wiping the spilled beer, “Always once to dance, always has to pull me up onto the dance floor. That’s the only reason I was dancing at your wedding,” you chuckle and every second feels like torture, “So many nights with that radio singing.”

You run your hand down your jacket, pausing over that box again, “And I can’t remember now what song it was when we… Not that it matters anyway.”

“It’ll always matters.”

Grimacing, you swallow the lump in your throat, “I don’t… I’m scared.”

Pietro slowly takes the thermos from your shaking hands, “We’ll walk in together?”

“Is that allowed?” you whisper, staring past the now empty courtyard to the large wooden doors as a bell tolls out. 

“You’re family.” The crack of his voice practically sends you to the ground in a crying heap, you can see it on his face. Everything about this day keeps him from hiding it all inside.

You wipe your face, feeling your trembling lips let out a trembling voice, “Piet. I never-,”

He pulls you in, arms wrapped too tight for you to even attempt to escape, not that you’d wanted to, “I know you would’ve. That’s all that matters to me.”

______________________________

The place you stepped into was dimly lit and packed to the brim with people waiting to get inside. A couple talked to the host, you caught the sight of money sneakily being passed over, trying to get a table. You nervously squeezed through hordes of people and waiters scrambling to their tables. You’d never been to such a fancy establishment and as you tried to rub the wrinkles from your suit, you hoped to never be back in one. 

“Oh man, I’m sorry for being late,” you leaned over and pressed a kiss against her cheek as you whispered, “Again,”

“Honey, you just came from overseas and you’re only a few minutes late,” her hand tightly wrapped around yours beneath the table, trying to find a sense of calm in this hurricane, “I think you’re okay,”

You grinned and looked up finally at the two pairs of eyes that sized up every move you made. You desperately tried to hide the itch in your throat as you tried not to cough, knowing your eyes were beginning to water. 

Wanda’s father reached forward and tore a piece of bread for himself and Wanda’s mother. They both buttered the pieces, carefully as if it was an egg shell. Her father didn’t eat it but instead just rested it back on his plate as he interlocked his fingers. 

“Where’d you come in from?”

You cleared your throat, quickly putting down your glass of water, “I’m not really allowed to talk about.”

“Well wherever it was,” her mother gave a look to Wanda before glancing down at your fingers, “Looks like they had you playing in the mud.”

You glanced down at the dirt trapped beneath your nails and the streaks of mud along your hand that were partially hidden beneath your shirt. You hid them beneath the table, sliding them slowly across your thighs. That itch was back and you tried to push back the image of Nat gasping for air as you finally broke through the collapsed tunnel. You had been digging nonstop, nearly giving up before a flare was shoved through an opening above you, scorching your neck. 

“Mom,” Wanda said through gritted teeth.

You chuckled, trying to make light of the whole situation, “You could say that, yeah. They did,” you voice quiets at the end, “Do we want some wine?”

Her mother hummed as she looked at the menu and Wanda nodded quickly, “Italian?”

You flagged the waiter down and dug deep into the recesses of your mind, pulling out the quick course you were forced to learn before a mission. You tried to speak with confidence as you ordered the Italian wine, closing the menu you glanced across the table. You were expecting impressed looks. But all you got was a continuation of a blank stare from her father and fake enthusiasm from her mother.

“So, you speak Italian, Y/N?”

Before you could speak, Wanda sat upward sharply, “They speak six languages,”

There were some hums, some nods but it was all a ruse for what the two across from you truly wanted to talk about. Wanda’s mother was the first to broach the subject.

“Regarding this, how does it work between you two? I mean with the amount of time you’re gone. Overseas,”

“Do you have any control of your schedule?” Her father was forthright with his questions, his fingers clenched tighter and you swallowed dryly.

Your thumb skimmed along Wanda’s hand, “Uh no, not really. I just get up and go when my team is called. Wherever we’re needed.”

“Following orders,”

There was hostility in his voice. You caught it right away and your brow cocked without a thought, “It is a government agency, sir.”

Wanda breathed in carefully, crossed her leg and rested her foot on your shin. 

“Doesn’t sound like there’s room for a stable home life. Doesn’t seem fair to ask that of a partner. Fear of worrying, of losing you while you’re out where you’re needed.”

You nodded slowly, not finding a lie in his words.

“Okay dad, I think I told you not-,”

You sat up straighter. She wasn’t going to fight your battles. You were here to win over her parents so you could add to the rings on her fingers. The man in front of you would never respect you if Wanda did all the talking.

“Yeah, I do have to go do things that I don’t exactly agree on. But I do it so people I love, like Wanda, don’t have to see what I see over where I’m needed here, at home. I don’t plan on doing this until I’m dead. I want a stable future with your daughter,” you glanced over at her and saw the glistening in her emerald eyes, “Have kids, find a way to help make this world a little bit better. I love Wanda and that’s not going to change.”

Her smile beamed over at you as she leaned and pressed her lips to your chin. You chuckled under your breath for her to hear, you felt good. You felt that the respect would finally come. You put your foot down and let your morals be known. You told them exactly what they wanted to hear. The truth. Wanda grabbed your hand and your grin fell when you saw the way her dad stared at you,

“Well, that’s good to hear, Y/N. Until you come home in a box. What about Wanda then?”

__________________________________

You walk inside the church, your eyes talking in everything around you. The pews are slowly filling up with people as they talk amongst each other. Everbloom roses litter the place, covering over the smell of incense that fills all the way up to the high ceilings above. They’re placed at each end of the pews and you gently touch each one on your way down the aisle. The music softly fills the space and hides the words that people are no doubt sharing with each other. You know what they’re saying. You’re all here for the same reason. Still, it puts a knot in the pit of your stomach. 

And then you see her.

A beautiful and perfect portrait made just for this day. You feel your breath push out from your lungs as your knees begin to tremble. The stinging of tears threatens to escape your eyes as you press a fist against your lips. 

“Hey,” a voice whispers from behind you and you turn, gripping tightly onto their arm, “You’re good.”

“Why am I here,” you clench your face as you move your vice like grip to the edge of a front row pew.

“You know why you’re here. Always is love, isn’t it?”

You scoff, glancing up at the red head with her own ring on her finger, “I messed up, Nat. I really messed up.”

Nat pulls you down with her, trying to get comfortable in the wooden seat, “We all do. No fight could ever end what you two shared.”

You grimace, running both hands down the front of your jacket. One hides a flask and the other that small box. She’s right but you didn’t want her to be right. You could never hate each other, none of your fights ever ended that way. Even though sometimes they did. Sometimes you thought you had really ended things forever, made her hate you beyond words. 

_______________________________

You knocked on the door loudly for the umpteenth time, swaying slightly from the alcohol in your system and slightly from nervousness. You stood there, thinking about what to say. The door whipped open before you could think of a proper greeting. Wanda saw you there and gave you a scolding look when she saw that case of beer next to your feet.

“Y/N,” her voice was tight, the arms that crossed in front of her were even tighter,

“Yeah,”

“I have neighbors. What’re you doing? I thought you were supposed to be hitting the town Bucky,” you could hear the tone as she said his name.

You sigh, “Well, you know. A beer with you sounded better.”

She rolled her eyes and pressed the door closer to her back as she saw your eyes try to peek inside. You sighed, “And I lost my house keys,”

“Oh, you don’t know how to breach a door? Or pick a lock?”

You patted your jeans, trying to muffle the sound of jangling metal, “Uh, can’t get there. Lost my car keys.”

Wanda sighed and stepped further into the threshold, trying to keep you from getting closer to the door, “Uber.”

You were running out excuses, “I misplaced my cellphone.”

Her green eyes glowed ever so slightly, her phone had been ringing and buzzing from the moment you left the bar, picked up this case of beer and until you started to slam on her door. 

She smiled softly, “Y/N, these are lies.”

“Okay, okay. You’re right. You got me, you got me.”

Wanda tilted her head, brows raised, “All right. Then tell me the truth,”

You sighed, “I already did. A beer with you sounds better. And… I’m sorry.”

Her eyes widened slightly. It was all you said. You added no words to try and explain anything. Just a pure apology. A pure understanding that you had messed up and you owned it. A step in the right direction for both of you. Wanda knocked her head against the threshold with a groan and kicked open the door with her foot. You leaned down and picked up the case of beer as she watched you carefully from her lean against the threshold. 

“I’m not sure I’ve ever heard you say that,” she admitted as you stepped past her and listened to the door lock. 

You rolled your eyes as she walked to the kitchen and replaced her ice cold beers with the lukewarm ones you brought her. She shook her head, “You need to remember to get cold beers. I won’t be here forever to remind you,”

You scoffed as you cracked open both cans, “When did you become a mother? That’s what my mother says to me,”

“One step at a time, buckaroo. You still need to learn to take care of yourself,” Wanda snatched the can from your hands, “Besides, I have to learn to relax. You can’t control your schedule.”

You nodded and took a sip with her, “I can control who I see when I’m home though,”

“You both were celebrating being alive and-,”

A hand was placed on her cheek as your lips found hers, “Don’t make excuses for me. I’m home. I’m yours.”

__________________________________

You never lied. You were her’s the moment you stepped off the Quinjet to the moment you stepped back on it. But those steps frequented more on than they did off. Something with the world needing more saving meant that you were working more overtime. Your schedule was creating problems and Wanda’s wasn’t any better. And when she was home, she was arguing with her parents about you while you sat and waited as dinner grew cold and colder. 

Efforts were put into trying to convince the team into putting you two on a mission together. Maybe you could fix your problems by kicking ass together. But that was quickly shot down and as much as you wanted to fight it, you knew it was the right decision. The two of you couldn’t work together. It would compromise the mission. You knew how you were when Wanda was injured. How your blood boiled. You’d lose every sense of duty to the mission if you ever saw Wanda get hurt in front of you. 

And as you remember that feeling, of undying devotion, the trembling in your knees grows once more as you reach out for something to hold on to. You have been able to ignore that trembling, just feeling it in your hands as you pressed them beneath your arms. The voice of the priest was nothing more than mumblings as you glanced over at those emerald eyes every few moments. The grin on her face brings back that knot in your stomach all over again, just like the very first time you saw her. 

As you reach out to keep yourself from stumbling, your hand rests on the perfectly shined box in front of you. Made just for an occasion like this, it was exactly what Wanda had wanted. Everything about today was planned far in advance because she knew, she always had to be the one prepared for the future. You barely could remember to put beer in the fridge. 

You glance over to the side once again, wondering how the brushstrokes captured all of her so perfectly. 

__________________________________

You sat at the bar, finishing the glass of caramel colored beer as another sweating glass is placed next to your hand. You raised the glass to the bartender as you started to walk towards the group. A hand grabbed your shoulder roughly and shook you, your beer slightly foaming out of the glass and spilling across your hand. 

Running your hand across the top, you flick the foam at Steve in retaliation, “Go get your own beer, you geyser!”

Steve laughed, “So, what about Wanda? You talk to her?”

You chuckled, picking at the peeling skin on your fingers, “Yeah, yeah, I talked to her. She’s good, man. She’s just, uh… She’s gotten really good at buying things to add to my ‘Honey Do List’,”

He ran his hand down the scruff on his face, “You’re sounding more and more like Buck over there. Except she traded her name for a band.”

“I heard it’s still Romanoff,”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “Only on mission,”

The table erupted into jeers as they chucked peanuts and pretzels at the escaping man but Steve was still staring at you. You chuckled, “I’m surprised she’s still there, honestly. I don’t know how she does it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Life after this. I mean, hero like her, how do you walk away from all this, you know? Work intelligence and tell us where to go.”

Steve scratches at his forehead, “Yeah but she’s still in the team. She works some ops and then makes you brisket for dinner.”

You grinned but shook your head, “Yeah but that’s it. This… this isn’t just a job. This is a, it’s a life. This is ten times the life most people live.”

“Okay. And you remember that she gave that up for you then. Now, go get us some beers, yeah?

You stood, “Listen man, if I ever lose sight of that… you tell me to go get my eyes checked.”

He smiled, “Let’s do that now, how many fingers am I holding up.” You watched as he held up his hand but they were not how you normally held up numbers. He twisted and contorted his hands, putting up three fingers sideways on one hand and another with only half a finger up. 

“What… what the hell is this? Jenga? Don’t worry, I know what she’s done,” you downed the rest of your beer and gently placed it down on the table, “We’re two people but one beating heart. I’m lucky enough to have that, so I’m gonna give it all of me.”

“Good,” he nodded, “Don’t ever forget that. Just give it all you got and fill up that pitcher, will you?” He flicked you with his empty, glass, droplet of beer dropping onto you, “you’ve been baptized, go get more of that holy liquid. Chop, ch-,”

As his hand smacked against your shoulder, the side of the bar slammed in towards you. The pitcher was ripped from your hand as debris blew up all around you. Through the ringing of your ears, you heard Steve talk to you. He asked if you were okay and as you blinked through the dirt in your eyes, you gathered your surroundings through the smoky haze around you, only seeing with the help of the neon lights. 

You climbed slowly up to your feet, wiping away glass in your arms as you started to help the team triage the people who were inside the bar. Bucky came running through the half caved in entrance and met you there, 

“You good man? It’s chaos out there,”

You glanced around you, “Yeah, yeah. We got a lot of people we need to help right now,”

Screams came from outside as people tried to escape the area and as you looked at the damage inside, you knew there had to be damage on the street. Jogging outside, carts of the street market are thrown all over the road. Food, souvenirs and debris littered the area. People called out for each other and there were others who were trying to stop anyone to help them. You stopped for them. 

Grabbing people form the street and carrying them inside for the team to start working on them. You coughed at the smoke that was inside the bar and the dust you inhaled from the blast, but you kept working. You directed people away from the blast zone, telling them to go to the hospital to find anyone missing. 

A younger yell caught your attention as you whipped around and saw a young boy in the middle of the street. Blood poured down his arm, dirt covered him from head to toe. 

“Aysha!”

You jogged over to him, “Hey, Aysha what? What’s Aysha?”

The little boy held up a burnt pink teddy bear and you eyes widened, “My sister, Aysha!”

“Aysha!” You yelled out and held out your hand for the child to stay there, “Hold on, Aysha!”

You started to head down the street, peering into parked trucks and underneath them. Trying to listen out for anything above the wailing sirens and screams. A few paces down the street and you hear the soft sob of a child. You jogged back to a truck and saw a small child had curled up on the floor of truck. As you opened the door, you kneel down and meet their terrified gaze,

“Aysha?”

They nodded and you quickly grabbed them, running them back to their older brother, “My friend Clint is gonna take you two inside, okay? He’s gonna keep you safe.” Clint had exited the bar quickly and takes the child from your arms, guiding the older one inside for refuge. 

“You good, Y/N?” He asked quickly as you wiped blood from your ears, 

“I’m good, go help Steve. I’m going back out.” 

You glanced down the street, watching people take the last of the limping and injured out and away. You walked behind the last of them, ensuring they made it out of the perimeter and clearing the way for the ambulances that were no doubt on the way. As you threw a destroyed cart out of the way, you froze as you heard a phone begin to ring. 

Beside a parked car, you saw a lone backpack hidden behind the back tires. You barely have time to remember the lecture you had taken about bombers. Always check for secondary devices. 

________________________________

You clear your throat as your thumb strokes along the lid of the box. 

There was one thing Wanda didn’t decide. She left it up to you and you wish she hadn’t. It was something you didn’t want to think about. It made all of this real and you couldn’t escape from it. 

Open casket or closed. 

“I hate all of this…” you whisper, your finger following each grain of the wood, “You knew I would. You took care of everything. You took care of me and I…it went to hell. We had one too many long nights away. The dish broke and I can’t remember whose fault it was. Not that it matters anyway.”

Trying to breath through your clogged nose, you take another glance at that portrait that captures her so perfectly in time. The way her hair fell to frame her face, you even notice the small lines of the scrunch of her nose.

Something you saw nearly every night, after a shared kiss. If you tried hard enough, you could convince yourself that you could still smell her, feel the cold touch of her hand on yours. 

“You left me standing in that driveway dust and cranked your car and drove away. Just some time, Piet told me when you dropped your bags off there. Maybe I should’ve gone there. Maybe I should’ve brought you back home. But I signed up for that damn mission.” your lips tremble, “I nearly died. You picked up that mission. You did die.”

Chuckling, you press your hand against your mouth as it nearly turns into a sob, “Guess you did still love me. Revenge, right? That’s what it was? I was still in surgery when you left. Maybe I could’ve convinced you to stay. You shouldn’t have been there. I can take a bullet, you can’t. And I’ll ask why for the rest of my life. And I’ll never come to understand it, even if this god came in front of me and told me why.”

Hot tears run down your face as you grip the small box through your jacket, “I can’t recall if we said goodbye. But,” you take out the small box and carefully pry open the leather, watching how the ruby reflects the candlelight around it.

Gently, you rest it on top of the lid, “I’ll try to remember the beer. And I’ll say goodbye, now that you’re gone.”

__________________________

[romanoffsbish]

Starts With Goodbye.

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

GN!OC—Max x Fem!Reader (Ex)

Hello my sweet anon, here’s a playlist I compiled for you of my favorite songs all about love/moving on/being rightfully angry/finding peace ❤️

Warning: Heartbreak. Drinking. Angsty Lyrics.

Smut: Soft!!, Top!Nat. Oral(R), Fingering(R), Thigh-Riding (R), Nipple Stimulation(R), Marking, ‘Mommy’(N)

A Shot Across the Bow—Mayday Parade

Starts With Goodbye—Carrie Underwood

I Wanna Dance With Somebody—Whitney Houston

Natasha sighs upon entering the compound, it's surprisingly quiet, and she happens to appreciate that fact with the way her head aches, the solo mission she just returned from really did a number on her. However, as she makes her way towards the kitchen she takes note of the men of the compound, all sat around the coffee table with their heads low, and hands conjoined as if they were praying.

Then to her right she hears a soft humming, Wanda's wearing noise canceling headphones and seems to be in her own world as she cooks. It's all incredibly strange, but more so to her curiosity she's wondering where you were, you were usually the first to greet her, always with that adorable little smile on your face as you fill her in on all she'd missed out on. Wanda feels the new presence, looking to the redhead with an immediately relieved expression which only proves to fill her with dread., "Thank God you are home, they're driving me insane!," Wanda shrieks, then pulls her in for a hug, and judging by her hold it seems she desperately needed it.

————————————————————

"We did it boys! Our prayers have been answered!," Tony cheers, his utter relief clearly abundant, and she sees the look spread across every other present parties face., "What is going on here? Tony, aren't you an atheist?," the millionaire deadpans., "After seeing the demon I was faced with today I've been made a partial believer. I prayed, it worked, now I am off to my lab, good luck Romanoff.," and just like that the men disperse—useless as usual.

Wanda snickers at the thoughts of her friend, then she pulls her to the kitchen and serves her up a decent lunch and a mug of tea., "Wands, what was all of that about?," Wanda chuckles., "Oh, the boys are just being dramatic is all, our resident ball of sunshine is in a sour mood.," Natasha's face falls at the thought of you being sad, and Wanda knowingly smirks at the girl. The only thing keeping the two of you apart had been Max—the douche canoe who just broke your heart for a final time; both of your collective thoughts about the other being more than enough evidence for her to know this.

If all things work out as she plans then this game of unrequited love between the two of you could be resolved, and she could collect the bet money from all the guys who claimed "Pfft, no way, Natasha doesn't love her like that, I'm not sure she even knows how to love.," as well. Imagining their fallen faces makes her heart happy, and the Kitchen-aide mixer she's been vying for will likely soon be hers...

"Wh-What happened?," Natasha chokes out over a bite of her sandwich, the witches smile making her a bit uneasy., "Max, they broke up with her a few days ago, and then today when we were out we spotted them out on a date.," Natasha's mind was racing with so many thoughts, but at the center of all her desires all she truly wanted was to make sure you were okay, so she abandoned her sandwich and went off to find you., "Be careful Nat! Approach with extreme caution.," the witch teased, then went back to envisioning all the baked goods she is surely certain to fill the compound with.

"No, it's not supposed to hurt this much, but when someone slowly breaks it off, it tends to leave a bitter taste; a scar, that slowly rips apart!!!" Natasha freezes outside of your bedroom door as she hears you belting out lyrics to what can only be described as an angsty dedication to a former lover., "Can I have one second of your time? Cause if I don't it'll drive me crazy, as I drop to my knees, and scream I hate you more than you could know!"

Natasha opened the door, a smirk enveloped her features when she saw you dancing about, so carefree as you screamed your feelings out., "I hope you fall into the ocean, and the current leaves you helpless swimming around." she couldn't see why anyone would be scared of you, if anything seeing this darker side actually has her more intrigued., “As the waves crash over you until you drown and float away, we'll hold a funeral for nothing, and celebrate how empty love can be broken.," The curious smile falls though when she sees just how much pain you're in, every line etched on your face a reminder., "It takes the sea to put you six feet happily underground..."

The sudden sound of clapping startles you, and before throwing another inanimate object at Tony's big fat head you noticed the redhead. Scrambling you manage to shut the speaker down, and not so subtly wipe away your tears. Though it doesn't help when she looks at you with that soft smile reserved for only you and Wands., "Oh krasivaya devushka, come here.," The space between you two becomes no more as you crash into her open arms, taking the comfort she's offering, and sobbing as you do.

Natasha says nothing else, she instead lifts your weakened form off the floor and carries you off to her bedroom. Holding you close until you calmed down, and then fell right to sleep. Judging by the state of you earlier she knew sleep was what you needed most right now, she also knew how much better her bed was, plus she really wanted out of her dirty mission suit. Once she knew you were deep enough she laid you beneath the duvet, then quietly slipped off into her ensuite to take a clarifying shower.

When she reemerged into her bedroom she is wearing only sleep shorts and a sports bra, a towel in her hand drying her soaking wet hair. The whole time she's admiring your sleeping form, the way you occupy the normally bare side of her mattress leaves her heart stuttering. She can't help but think how good it would be for this to become permanent, but she shakes the thoughts for now, right now you need her love, but without the conditions of her feelings. So she climbs into her usual side of the bed, bones cracking as she settles into the mattress, she watched with a tired smile as you shifted closer to her and the abundant warmth you provided lulled her into an instant slumber.

—

The both of you were sleeping peacefully, limbs entangled like those of soulmates, and Wanda was internally awing at the sight, but with her own ulterior motives at play she jolted the bed., "Rise and shine my beautiful friends, it is time we reclaim our titles as the hottest women in this town, and since we're all single now it'll make it an even better experience!," she shouts, effortlessly avoiding the pillow you threw at her., "Five minutes then I come back with a bucket of water, maybe I'll put an eel in it for extra fun.," you groaned, knowing that her words aren't falsehoods—she will do it.

Natasha's face was beet red when she takes in the way you'd both shifted into each other, Wanda's threats going unheard of while the former assassin finds herself in a gay panic., "Can you believe her? I'm single for two days and she wants to put me back on the market.," you grumble, the words you mutter merge into a threat in her mind, and she fights hard to keep her body from shaking with anger., "No detka, I most certainly can not believe her, and if you want me to I can tell her to fuck off."

Natasha smiles widely when your giggles fill the air around the both of you, it's a sweet sound she knows she'll never tire of hearing. Her arms tighten around you, holding you close, and it's only then that you take in your compromising positions, heat rushes through your whole body, and the sudden urge to jump back is ignored as you nuzzle into her, choosing your own comfort over some perceived dignity. The redhead takes notice of your state, and is eternally grateful that you didn't flinch out of her hold—her heart would likely break...

—

Wanda was relentless, so any attempts to get out of going were futile, outfits were chosen for the group by her, and you were cursing her in every language possible as you were currently stood outside in line for the exclusive club, shivering uncontrollably because apparently a jacket would've ruined the vibe of your outfit. Natasha's brows furrowed in concern when she took notice of how cold you were, she leaned into your ear., "Detka, where's your jacket?," the natural rasp in her tone intensified as she whispers, your body shivers and you're just thankful to use the obvious chill for an excuse.

"Someone...," you say with narrowed eyes., "Deemed my outfit not slutty enough, and quite literally disintegrated it in the car.," Wanda shrugs her shoulders, sending back a wink before moving forward with the line. Natasha gets the meddling witches message, slipping her leather jacket off she smoothly settles it onto your shoulders., "It's okay, she doesn't scare me.," Natasha teases with a sweet kiss settled to your temple before she pulls away, and you nearly forgot how to exist. 

The jacket wasn't even what warmed you up; it was her soft hold of you, arms loosely wrapped around your waist with her chin resting over the leather of her jacket while the club took its sweet ass time with letting all of the patrons in. It was taking everything in you to just continue breathing, made all that much harder when all you smelled was purely Natasha. She'd always been able to leave you beyond flustered, and she doesn't even have to try hard to do it. Being this close to her always sends your body into overdrive, and it's so cruel that she isn't yours, she isn't anyone's and you're not sure she'd ever really want to be...

Once you entered the club the redheads took you to the counter where you ordered a round of drinks, you and Natasha were talking while Wanda surveyed the crowd., "How about her?," you furrowed a brow and looked over to her., "What about her?," you hesitantly asked while sipping on your long island., "For you to fuck silly, we're here to find your perfect rebound."

Natasha's hand was rubbing soothing circles over your back from beneath her jacket while glaring at Wanda for a multitude of reasons. Wanda's known just how long Natasha's been pining for you, so this sudden tactic of hers is nonsensical, and also for making you choke uncontrollably., "Detka, can you please breathe for me?," you followed her lead, and shaky as they may be you were able to alleviate the dizziness in your body with some oxygen., "Wanda was just being a bit overzealous, there's no need to rush into anything tonight."

"No, I get it, if Max can move on why can't I?" Your words were fair, but to Natasha they felt like a punch to the gut, and as someone who actually had been punched she thinks this feels much worse., "So, you're interested in her?," the wavering in her voice threw you off, and truth be told the answer was no, but it's also kinda true what they say—'The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else'., "Well, not her per se, but I'd like to think I could find someone you know?"

Natasha hummed, words failing her as she didn't know how to say what she wanted to, she felt it was far too soon to tell you her feelings, and with her back turned to the both of you Wanda rolled her eyes., "You definitely can, the world is your oyster Y/N, go on out there.," and before you could protest the little witch had shoved you onto the dance floor., "Wanda, what the absolute fuck was all of that?"

Wanda stirred her olive around her martini, "Without the fear of losing her you were never going to make a move Natasha, you're an incredibly hopeless case dear.," the Russian scoffed, threw back a shot of whatever you didn't finish, then made her way to the floor., "Yes, soon the compound will smell of fresh baked cinnamon rolls, and they will thank me."

Natasha grabbed your hand, spinning you out of the blonde's hold, and into her own arms. The drunk girls protests died on her lips when she noticed the Black Widow, and Natasha smirked at her from over your shoulders., "Natty...," your whines went ignored, Natasha too focused on moving your bodies to the beat of the music, your drink proving rather strong as she feels the beat pulsing through her veins.

You weren't going to fight it either, her hold on your hips was almost possessive, it filled your chest with a tainted hope, like what she was really offering was just a friendly protection, even if somewhere deep down you knew that it was much to the opposite. You've caught her longing glances over the years, but Max once glanced at you the same way, and look at where that whole relationship got you. Of course you wanted Natasha, but she never gave you a clear enough sign, and then it was too late when Max had whisked you off your feet and into a whirlwind romantic travesty.

It all felt too good to be true—Natasha was too good to be true, your fears of inadequacy were once again getting the better of you. Hot tears began to spill of their own accord, Natasha was none the wiser to your state until the music faded into a much softer beat and she heard your soft sniffling., "Krasivaya, what's wrong?," she coo'd with your wetted face now delicately sat within her calloused hands., "Come on...," she whispered before carting you off towards the single stalled bathroom.

Gently she lifted you onto the counter, and with a damp paper towel she wipes your face., "Detka, tell me what's bothering you please.," Natasha's stomach was in absolute knots when all you did is shake your head, tears fly about with the motion, and your sobs only deepen., "Did I overstep? Fuck, I-I'm so sorry.," you look up to see Natasha backing away from you, and that just makes the weight in your chest heavier., "No... I-I, I'm just scared Natty."

The way you looked at her with such broken eyes gave her the insight she needed, softly she'd approached you again, arms wrapping around your waist while a hand snaked up to pull your head against her shoulder., "Y/N, there's nothing to be scared of with me, but I know you—you're not ready, and that's okay.," she laid her cheek over your head and began to lightly sway you in an attempt to soothe you., "Please, don't give up on me.," your words felt like a dagger to the heart, but she knew it only stemmed from Max's continued torment.

"I haven't yet, and I can promise you I never will Y/N, you're worth waiting a lifetime for.," you tightened your arms around her, and the tears you bled were fading into something a bit less traumatizing, it was as if everything just clicked in your mind—you were safe with her., "Let's get you home now detka, we can watch a movie of your choosing in my room instead."

—

Natasha had carried you out of the club, the witch hot on her tails with nothing short of concern written over her face, the two women sharing a silent conversation while you settled into the backseat of the red stingray corvette., "There's a fresh batch of cookies with your name on it Y/N/N.," Wanda let you know, you giggled at the offered goodies to ease the guilt you knew she was feeling, and you knew it helped when you saw her shoulders relax.

When Nat pulled into the garage she looked back to see you'd dozed off., "I got her.," she softly informed the witch, Wanda nodded in complete understanding., "I know you do.," Wanda placed a loving kiss to your forehead before heading off to do some late night baking, and Natasha then scooped you up to carefully carry you towards the ladies shared floor., "Goodnight moya krasivaya angel.," she whispered as she settled you down in your bed.

"Natty no... Moobie...," you slurred and she softly chuckled., "Tomorrow sweetest one.," she tried but you rolled over with a deep pout., "No, wanna watch it with you right now.," her face hovered over yours, your eyes barely able to make out her smirk—it was all so blurry, and you weren't sure if that's from the residual buzz, your crying, or the sheer exhaustion you felt, but nonetheless you'd remain persistent., "Fine, I will start a movie honey, but I better not hear snoring of any sort.," she teased you, knowing damn well that's all she'd hear if she gave in to your little tantrum.

"That's not fair, I'm tired.," you whined, and she booped your nose., "I know that, but it seemed you might've forgotten.," you tiredly shook your head from side to side as a yawn managed to escape in favor of the obvious., "Nope, I just wanted you to stay with me.," The tired confession made her teasing resolve melt., "All you had to do was ask krasivaya."

Natasha sorted through your drawers for PJs, smirking to herself when she found her favorite hoodie that'd been missing since last Fall, and she threw it on with a pair of your sweats, then she returned to your side to help you change., "Perfect, now it'll smell like you again.," you tiredly murmured as she slipped your cami over your lifted arms, and she snorted., "Oh, so you think I'll just be giving this back to you?"

Your once drooping eyes quickly shot open, you narrowed them at her to show your clear offense, she lowered her face to level yours., "You better not steal my hoodie Romanoff.," your attempt at being intimidating amused the redhead, her eyebrow arched as she chuckled., "Detka, we both know this hoodie is mine, it has my shield badge number on the back.,"

"Finders keepers.," you grumbled against the fabric of the aforementioned hoodie while nuzzling into the woman., "Care to tell me where you found it, hm?," the woman teased from beneath you, chest heaving with laughter when you feigned a snore., "Your closet..." the whispered confession only spurring the bouts of laughter on for another minute until you whined tiredly., "Sorry detka, the hoodie is all yours my little master thief, goodnight..."

"Goodnight Natty, I love you.," she silently beamed., "I love you too angel.," the words you've always said to her held something much deeper this time, even if you weren't ready for it yet, the promise was still there beneath the surface of it all, and that was enough for her. This messy bit of pride fills her chest as she watches you sleep, she thinks about how you were wearing her hoodie all the while dating Max—the tool, as if you'd always been hers, and they were just a three year roadblock.

Sleep came easy to her that night, it always did when you were safely wrapped up in her arms.

—

Waking up in Natasha's arms was always your favorite experience, so waking up to empty sheets fixed you with an immediate frown. Sitting up you saw your—her—hoodie at the end of the bed with a post it note atop of it.

Good morning detka, I let you sleep in, but when you awake get ready for a comfy day then meet me in the garden... <3 💋

The sweet little note made you smile, and after allowing your lazy body a moment to catch up to your eager mind you jumped up to shower. Hot water streaming down your body doing absolute wonders for the previous drunken nights soreness that settled into your muscles.

Getting ready was a breeze, after your hygiene routine you slipped into a pair of shorts, a tee shirt, and you tied the hoodie around your waist just in case it gets cold wherever you're going. Natasha was humming along to the radio when you entered the garden, tending to her little array of succulents and produce., "Good morning detka.," she greets with her back to you, and you groan at your inability to sneak up on her.

"Not fair Natty.," she chuckled., "I could hear you coming down the stairs Y/N/N, no way you actually thought you'd get me walking over the dead leaves.," she clapped her gloved hands together as she turned to face you, taking them off to then envelop you in a hug., "How you doing this morning?," you whined., "Well I woke up alone, 0/10 experience overall Nat..."

"I'll make it up to you, I promise, did you eat?," you shook your head against her chest, then you groaned in pleasure when she slipped a cookie up to greet your lips., "Wands handed them off to me this morning so that the boys didn't get to them."

Natasha picked up a massive duffle bag, then with her arm still around your shoulder she guided you to her car, and silently handed you the aux cord before she drove off., "I guess it's gonna have to hurt, I guess I'm gonna have to cry, and let go of some things I've loved to get to the other side...," you sang along, Natasha's hand slipping into yours when she hears your voice wavering., "I guess it's gonna break me down; Like fallin' when you try to fly, it's sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life... Starts with goodbye.".

Natasha held your hand for the remainder of the drive, your song choices were a bit on the sadder side, but she held no judgements, she knew it was where you were at., "We're here?," she turned to you with a 'well, duh,' stare, you rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue out., "Welp, let's go detka.," she instructed and you followed her up a rocky terrain like an obedient little puppy would its owner.

Without a word Natasha set up an intricate little picnic, there was pasta salad, sandwiches, assorted fruits and veggies, and your cookies. Then she set up two canvases, with a glass plate to accompany it., "We're going to paint what we see, then write all of the bad that we're feeling on the plates to smash." She answers your silent questions, and you sit down besides her with a shy smile as she hands you a marker and a set of paintbrushes with a soft smile.

The view was gorgeous, the sky was bright as can be, and there was no shortage of clouds. Around the area you'd settled upon there were lots of flower bushes, the trees were brimming with different wildlife families, and your art depicted just that. Natasha however took a minimalist approach, only choosing to focus on the flower bushes, but her attention to detail was so pristine that it made up for it.

"Fuck you, you stupid bitch...," you grumbled while writing much faster than you narrated causing Natasha to chuckle while filling her plate out., "Said you felt it was best we moved on to bigger and better things, didn't know that was Lola, your 6' tall model-esque coworker.," you bitterly relayed, and Natasha's blood was near to boiling at the way Max treated you.

"I hope you get a paper cut right before you order those tiny tacos you love, and when you go to squeeze the lemon it burns you just like the STD's will when you start inevitably sleeping around again.," Natasha snorted, this idea of hers seemed to be a massive hit., "Love not, Y/N—the best thing you will never have."

Natasha clapped, and cheered animatedly at the way you concluded your smash plate, curiously you peered at her plate to see it was written in bullet points, she smirked when you quirked your brows, and so she cleared her throat., "Tony's hair, it's too oily; Steve's words, they're too boring; Wanda's meddling; Bruce's flirting; and Thor's love for poptarts.," you beamed when you were left off the list., "Oh, I forgot.," she teases as she brings her sharpie back down to write., "Y/N's thieving."

Natasha stood up first, laying down a lipped tarp so that the mess would be contained., "Time to smash detka.," she extended her hand out to help you up, and you happily accepted., "We have to do our best Hulk impressions.," you decided, and she nodded., "You're on."

The post breakup rage was on your side here, Natasha watched with wide eyes as you put on a show of sorts, working yourself up with long, heavy breaths before stomping over to the tarp, "Y/N SMASH!!!," you roared then threw the plate into the center of the tarp, the shards splitting off into hundreds of pieces feeling somewhat poetic, and as expected you cried. The feeling that this chapter of your life was coming to a close, and knowing that you have to make space for all things new was both terrifying and exhilarating.

Natasha dropped her plate with lackluster, choosing instead to pull you in for a hug, and to sway you before you both settled down to watch the sky as the sun prepared its descent., "Thanks Natty.," you mumbled over your grape as you leaned back into her., "Anytime detka."

——

Natasha was really nervous, like sweaty palms and stomach in knots level of nervous as she was stood outside your door awaiting your answer. A fresh bouquet of white roses and red carnations from the florists shop in her hands. Wanda had helped her to pick them out, she wanted them to be perfect, and the little witch was an expert when it came to these things.

It'd been three months to the day that you'd been dumped by the dumbest person to exist. Natasha was respectful every step of the way as you healed from the pain they had caused you. It even seemed like you were finally to a point where the idea of love was promising again, and not something that had you in hysterics. Natasha held you every time you'd cried over them, offering you an unexacting love when you needed it most, and it was that which made you fall even further for the former assassin.

She knocked again, a new wave of anxiety coursing through her the longer she was left to wait, and she began to think maybe you were gone, or maybe ignoring her in the hopes she'd get the hint that you still weren't ready for this. Then every fear she had melted away when you opened the door, rubbing at your tired eyes so that you could actually see her, and she smiles at the realization that you'd been napping.

"Natty, to what do I owe the pleasure?," you mused while tiredly leaning against the doorframe, an inkling for what's to come at the sight of the flowers leaving you a bit excited.

"Well.," she scratches at her neck nervously, and you melt a bit seeing her in such a state., "It's just... I wanted to see if you would go on a date with me tonight, I got you these flowers.," she nervously states, shoving the bouquet towards you, and you gladly accept them.

"They symbolize new beginnings, and deep love and affection, I want us to start off right. This is really important to me Y/N/N; I don't want to rush or make you uncomfortable, but I actually read somewhere that you should wait a month for every year after a breakup before dating again, and today marks three months, so I just thought—.," her words jumble as your thumb presses into her lips.

"Natty...  Your nervous ramblings cute, but I thought it best I put you out of your misery.," you giggled., "Yes, I'll go out with you tonight.," you giggled even more when she lifted you up and spun you around., "Really?!," you nodded, and she held you tightly against her., "Natty, I can't go out with you if I can't breathe..."

"I'll pick you up outside of the compound at 6PM sharp.," she squeaks while setting you down., "Wait, what should I wear?"

"Whatever you want, I want you comfortable.," she sweetly relayed, you rolled your eyes as she left and resolved to finding out from the little witch instead—she'll know what you're doing.

—

Wanda was more than helpful, she picked out your clothes once again; a pair of black jeans, a sheer black button up, with a red-black plaid flannel to go over it to fit the Fall season, a red pair of boots, and she accessorized it with a red scarf, a black beanie, and a few silver rings., "You look perfect.," she coo'd while spritzing you with a soft, woodsy scent and applying a thin layer of lip balm to your lips with a wink.

Natasha was waiting for you, leaning against a tree to feign a sense of ease, even if all she felt was an unnerving pit forming in her abdomen. This was finally her chance at happiness, she felt that everything was banking on this, but if she'd paid any attention she'd know you were far too in to care how the night actually went. She could take you to an abandoned lot and buy you McDonald's and you'd likely swoon.

When you took your first glance out the door you were honestly stunned, she was always beautiful, but something about her in such a casual fit had you feeling all sort of things. Then as you got even closer to the woman you took notice that the leather jacket she was sporting was in fact yours, the patchwork with your name and symbol on it the clear proof.

"That's my jacket.," you accused the smirking woman, feigned guilt written all over her face., "Mhm, stole it this morning—thought we could maybe even the playing field some.," she teased while slipping a bike helmet over your head,. "Touche Romanoff...," you conceded as you threw your leg over the bike and tightly latched onto her for the ride.

The men watched you and Natasha sharing your sweet moment at the bike with mouths agape, and their wallets in their hands., "Thank you boys, you won't regret this investment.," Wanda cackles as she leaves the room to find her keys, she's thinking the teal mixer would look lovely in the kitchen of your shared floor.

—

Natasha was ridiculously nervous, she had stumbled when pulling your chair out from under the table once you'd arrived to dinner. Then she nearly soaked you with water when trying to wave the waiter down, but instead knocking over the decorative metal vase., "Natty, if you wanted to make me wet there's much easier methods.," you teased to ease the uneasy tension, regretfully so too as she began to choke over the freshly poured merlot.

"Oh gosh, Natty, I'm sorry...," she shook her head at your silly apology., "Don't be detka.," she humorously replied, an easy smirk now painting her features, and your heart settled.

The dinner went so much smoother once Natasha had realized her worries were childish. Conversations flowed like they always did, she told you exaggerated stories, finding anyway to make you laugh, and she hardly ever fell short. You told your own exaggerated stories, holding her attention when you remained passionate about the words you muttered.

When the bill came she was quick to scoop it up from in front of you., "Are you kidding me? They really thought you were the top here?!," she grumbled, you gasped in faux offense before laughing when she stared at you pointedly. The dinner honestly flew by, and you were sad, but then Natasha informed your pouting face that the night was far from over, and you danced around her bike excitedly.

Natasha had taken you to a karaoke spot, she knew how much you loved her voice, and how you loved to belt it out—even if it wasn't good. It was all endearing, she couldn't get enough of your smiling face, the way it reached your eyes, and she even saw the beginning of happy tears.

"You know we're singing Whitney right?!," she groaned but you knew she was equally as in by the glint in her eyes., "Let's do it then angel."

Natasha shook her head when you sprung to life with the music., "Clock strikes upon the hour, and the sun begins to fade...," she watched you having the time of your life, and even accepted your hand when the chorus hit.

"Oh, I wanna dance with somebody.," Natasha belted out her line while pulling you towards her., "I wanna feel the heat with somebody.," you sang as you spun, teasingly grinding your ass back into her pelvis., "Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me...," the both of you harmonized, spinning back to face her with a beaming smile, and your mouth went dry when you could see the love you sung about oozing from her expressive eyes.

Natasha nearly leaned into you as you stared back at her with those innocent orbs of yours, the moment was beyond perfect for a kiss, but she didn't want to rush you, and she'd surely die on that hill; even if you were stood at the bottom shouting at her to just fucking do it., "I've been in love and lost my senses, spinning through the town.," she sings, effortlessly spinning out of your arms, and you do your best not to scream your frustrations—the show must go on you suppose.

—

"Thank you for tonight, I had a great time.," you stood in your doorway smiling at her., "Me too detka, it was nothing short of perfect.," she breathed out while maintaining eye contact, it was the same look you shared earlier, but just like before it seemed she was going to let the moment pass by her., "Well, I guess this is—."

Natasha squealed when you fisted her collar between your hands and pulled her into you. She only flailed for a second before melting into the kiss, her hands took up space on your hips, soft lips moved against yours with vigor, and it only took a few seconds for her tongue to slide over your bottom lip in the hopes of deepening it. You parted them expeditiously for her, moaning languidly when her tongue slid right over yours; the hallway became like a soundboard for your smacking lips.

When she felt like she was on the verge of passing out she pulled away from you, head thrown back as she desperately worked to regain her breath, and more so her composure since your head landed on her shoulder, your hot breaths fanning across her collarbones., "Detka... I-I think it's best we call it a night.," she tried to control her urges, but your growl was the last thing she expected as a response., "Baby, please—just make me yours..."

Natasha groaned when your words reached her., "Y/N, sweetest are you absolutely sure?," you nodded as you looked right into her eyes., "Because I don't want to—.," she nervously tried to double down, but you pecked her lips to calm her worries., "Rush things, I know, but I'm telling you this is what I need, so please..."

Natasha was more than sold, how cruel would she be to ignore your needs...

With her hold on your hips she pushed you further into your room, using her foot she shut your door, then with pure strength she lifted you up, and gently laid you down on the bed. Her heart hammered wildly in her chest while she gazed down at you, the possibilities seemed endless for the former assassin having you in this new position, all those fantasies of hers now at the forefront of her mind.

While undressing you with her eyes she was actually doing it to herself, and watching in amusement as you tried to manage your own removal. She chuckled when she saw you struggling to unravel your scarf from around your neck, falling back against the mattress in a huff, and she slowly moved to hover over you., "Need some help there, lyubov?," she smirked at your little glare, her skilled hands worked the knot right out of the scarf, and just to be a tease—asshole—she used the fabric to lift your head up to meet her lips for a kiss, seamlessly pulling it out from under you and kissing you all the while lowering you back down.

Her lips were soft as they moved against yours; without even looking her fingers moved with precision as they gently unbuttoned your top. Pulling back from your lips, something she's reluctant to do now that's she had a taste of you, she pushed the silky blouse from your shoulders. Her eyes roam your upper body, the softness that you're used to in her sea of green was fading fast., "So fucking beautiful detka."

A hand slid underneath you, cold fingers resting over the clasps on your back, but they didn't so much as move until you caught her inquiring stare., "Please do it.," she smiled while pinching the fabric., "As you wish detka."

Your bra was tossed across the room as if it had offended her, and really it had, having been designed to hide your beautiful breasts from the woman, a pointless invention she thinks. Natasha's hands perfectly fitted around both of your breasts, kneading the malleable flesh while her lips began to trail down your jaw. Softly nibbling, and suckling at the skin, just enough to hear you gasp, but not enough to mark you until your hand held her there., "Mm, I said make me yours...," she smirked against your pulse point before biting down.

Her teeth sunk in as her thumbs rolled over your sensitive nipples, your back arched off the bed at the dizzying sensations, and Natasha relished in the delicious way you whimpered., “Such pretty noises detka, don’t hold back.,” she hummed against your skin, her tongue licking a stripe from the side of your neck, over the column of your throat until she stopped to settle a kiss to the valley of your breasts.

“Waited so long to have you my sweet angel.,” she mumbles against the silky flesh of your breast., “and I’m going to love you so well…” she promises as her lips latch around your perky nipple, sucking the nub in between her teeth, you audibly gasped as the pain rolled into pleasure., “Fuck, baby please touch me…,” your covered hips involuntarily bucking up into her, while a pang of arousal shoots straight to her core at your sheer neediness for her.

Natasha chuckled., “Detka, I am touching you.,” her fingers trailed down your exposed side on the pathway to your pesky jeans, all the while she continued to use her mouth to work you up, your sounds music to her ears as she pays equal attention to both of your breasts., “Lift up moya lyubov’, she whispers against you as her lips begin to trail down your abdomen.

Natasha slowly pulled your jeans down over the swell of your ass when your hips rose off the mattress. Fingernails lightly digging into the skin of your plush thighs as she peeled the tight fabric from your body while settling onto her knees besides the bed. The sight of your pantie covered pussy had Natasha nearly frothing at the mouth seeing how ready you were., “Fuck, you’re absolutely dripping Y/N.,”

Without wasting another second she pulls the ruined fabric from your body, then she slides her hands under your thighs, moving to wrap her arms around them to pull you down the bed, and her hands settle atop to keep you wide open for her. Your calves now dangle on either side of her as she takes a deep, long breath in, smelling your addicting arousal, the heated air upon release has you squirming under her hold., “You’re going to drive me insane.,” she groans just before moving to lick a stripe up your glistening slit, and moaning at the taste.

Natasha is an expertise with the way she has you on the precipice of your orgasm in less than three minutes, your body in shambles as shivers of pleasure continue to roll on through. It’s nearly unbearable, but you still find your hand wrapped up in her red locks, holding her close, and tugging every time she manages to tempt fate with that beyond talented tongue. Moaning every time you roughly pushed her into your slippery cunt, and you cry out when the subsequent vibrations from her traveled to that tight pit settled within your abdomen.

Wet lips suction around your clit, harshly sucking the swollen bud into her mouth while two of her fingers slip passed your entrance with ease to instantly be strangled by your fluttering walls. Once she pushes passed their resistance, she’s curling them at the perfect angle from within you just as she’s nibbling into your pulsating clit. Your back arches as a set of pornographic moans leaves your body, and she pulls back just to catch you losing it.

The sight of you so fucked out had the woman desperate for more of you; she wanted to know every way to make your body tick, to find the position that would have you crying for her to never stop, and she’d vow she never would. To spend her days buried between your thighs for hours on end, with either her mouth or strap, never giving up until you were a babbling mess. Natasha’s dreamed of this day for as long as she has known you, and she’s positively dying now that she’s got forever to figure you out.

Natasha kisses up your body swiftly, evidence of your arousal dripping onto your skin as she makes her way up to kiss your plump lips. Her milky thigh slots itself between your legs as she sloppily makes out with you, the unrelenting bucking of your hips into her has her mind reeling, slick now coating the entirety of her skin, she’s quick to flip your bodies, and sits up with you perfectly settled atop her thigh.

The strong hands holding tightly to your hips begin to guide you over her thigh, she’s slow with her movements, part of her wanting to make you desperate for the looming release, the other too excited to see you come undone. You whined when she’d stop your attempts to grind down at a quicker pace, to deprive her of the buildup she so desperately wanted to see., “Detka, mommy promises to let you cum, you just have to be patient.,” your face contorted., “Mommy….,” you breathed out, and her cunt clenched around nothing at the hot way in which you murmured her chosen title.

“Yes detka, mommy’s got you.,” her hands move you by your hips at a faster pace, your moans a direct air of approval to her. She even relinquishes a bit of the control over to you, and she gawks at the way you shamelessly move against her on your journey to orgasm., “Mommy, I’m so close…,” your glossy eyes pleaded for more, so her lips pressed to yours as she tensed the muscles in her thigh; your body convulsed wildly as the pleasure overtook your mind, and she continued to slowly grind your cunt against her until you whimpered into her mouth as it became too much for you.

Her arms wrapped around your waist, your face fell into the crook of her neck while you focused solely on breathing in rhythm again. As gently as she could she rotated until you were perfectly beneath her again, and she began to settle kisses over your collarbones until she felt you’d returned to a calmed state., “You’re so beautiful Y/N, look like the perfect little doll to conclude mommy’s collection.”

You tiredly peered up to look at her when you felt her face hovering from above yours, and with a lopsided smile on her face she leans back in to kiss you., “The nights only just begun krasivaya…,” she informs you, catching the sharp gasp you release as her fingers reentered into the safety of your warm cunt, and she sighed at the oh so perfect feeling of you clenching around her.

—

Natasha was always an early riser, but you can see that you tired the poor woman out seeing as how she’s still peacefully asleep beside you. She’s always so adorable in her relaxed state, her short hair a jumbled mess splayed about over your pillows, with her lips parted as soft snores leave her body and a string of drool links her to your now stained pillow.

Natasha stirred under your intense stare., “Mornin’ detka.,” she whispered, peeping open one eye to take you in and smirking when she sees you’re shocked., “Good morning Natty.,” you squealed, your energy a sign to the groggy woman that you’d been up for awhile now., “Let’s go get breakfast, I’m starving.,” you pleaded with the woman, but her smirking with her eyes closed told you that you’re in danger, and so when she looked to you with her eyes blown out you knew it to be true., “No way!”

Natasha fell back into the mattress in a fit of bellyaching laughter as you had jumped onto your feet and face planted within the next step., “Oh shit, detka, that was so funny.,” she mused while hanging off the bed to peer down at you. The pout you wore only made her smile widen., “You really are just the cutest little thing.,” she booped your nose, then gasped when you tried to bite her finger, and you giggled at her shock.

Natasha carried you into the kitchen on her back, both of you giggling over your inability to walk, and completely aloof to the other body. The redhead sets you onto the counter, you gasping once the cold counter touched your exposed thigh, and Natasha slotted herself between your legs and pushed her lips to yours.

“Good morning, I’m sure you two worked up an appetite… Please help yourself to a roll.,” Wanda hummed over her mug of tea, and you jumped back at the startling voice, hitting your head on the hanging light and groaning at the dull ache that spreads., “Oh detka.,” Natasha coos sympathetically and pulls your face into her chest, but a smirk overlays her face when she looks over to Wanda’s laughing form.

“Seriously, enjoy the rolls my dears, they’re all in thanks to your oh so holiest of unifications.,” she teases., “Please, don’t forget my invite next time though, sounded rather pleasurable.,” she laughs when Natasha grips onto you tighter, and then she leaves the kitchen all together when she’s on the receiving end of her glare.

“Don’t worry Natty, I’m all yours.” You mumble over the bite of your cinnamon roll, Natasha turns back to look at you, and her heart melts at the sight of you with icing all over your face and one of the cutest smiles she’s ever seen., “Such a messy little thing you are detka.,” you whined when she used her tongue to lick the frosting from your nose, and so she hushed you by placing her lips to yours.

“All mine…” she confirms, and you melt even further into the moment with your forever, you hum your agreement against her., “All yours…”

————————————————————

8,032 Words

❤️Kaitlyn 🥺

[muddyorbsblr]

secret notes part 8: send me the moon 

Series Masterlist See my full list of works here!

Summary: It's your final live show as The Lonely Avenger and the whole team is there to finally see the one behind the voice. Including Loki.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: 2 curse words; other than that, nothing…this is a fluffy story with a fluffy ending [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: the last scene's a little hot…like 0.5/5 spicy

"Could you two drop me off near Groove instead of at the Tower?" you asked Clint as you were on your way back to New York, the mission going off without much complication, or bloodshed. You left those guards still breathing, after all, so really there were no casualties on this mission, and as far as you were concerned, that was an absolute win.

"Does this have something to do with the invite that was forwarded to me while you were in their base?" he asked you, a smirk playing on his face. "You wanna get the jump on everyone else, finding out who Laufeyson's bird is before we even get there? Vet the girl, make sure that she's good enough for Mr Horns?" 

"Not exactly," you answered with a smirk of your own. "More like I have to do sound checks. For my live show." That made him slam his hand on the Autopilot button and stare at you with eyes as wide as saucers, making Natasha laugh from her co-pilot seat. "Surprise, Hawkeye. It's me. I'm the bird. Caw caw." 

"How did I not see that coming?" He eyed Natasha, who you had no doubt was smirking and snickering to herself. "I'm assuming you already knew about this, Tasha?" 

"I've known for months," she said casually. "Wanda and I watched her first live show. Morgan knows, too."

"Hold on how'd you get Morgan to not tell Tony?!" You mumbled Natasha's promise to the tiny Stark that kept her from spilling your secret. "Sorry, birdy, what was that?" 

"Nat promised her that she'd be the flower girl at the wedding," you enunciated every syllable, making him chuckle. "Oh, and by the way. Thor knows, too." She turned her now wide eyed gaze towards you. "He baited me with a singing meme and I was caught off guard. I suppose by now he knows that I intend to tell everyone anyway so I'm trusting that he's keeping his mouth shut around Mischief." 

"Aww, babes, it's really happening, huh?" She grabbed your hand and lightly swung it. "It's like the end of an era." 

"Yeah. By the end of the day there'll be egg on my face because Loki's finally gonna know how stupid in love I am with him, and that's it. That's the end of me." 

"At the risk of you stabbing me, Y/N, I gotta say it. I think you're an idiot if you actually believe that things would end badly if Horns knows how you feel about him. I saw you two before you boarded the Quinjet; that's a man in love. God. That's a god in love. Whatever happens in the live show, I'd put money on all this ending with you singing a whole new set of notes in his apartment that none of us ever want to hear. I don't think even Tony has the money to cover the therapy we'd need if we hear that." 

You smacked him upside the back of his head. "Dork." He gave you a shrug as if to say eh, you're not wrong, which made you chuckle. "Just drop me off near Groove, please." You placed a hand on Nat's shoulder. "And please make sure that he actually goes to the live show? If I'm going to rip off a bandaid, I'd prefer to rip it all the way off in one move." 

"I'll have Thor drag him out if I have to," she promised, placing her hand over yours. "Don't look so nervous, babes. Everything's gonna be fine. More than fine." She tilted her head to address Clint. "We should probably all stay out of the tower for a few hours once they exit the bar. You know, so we don't have to charge Stark's account for therapy." 

By the time that Natasha and Clint returned to the Tower, the team was already buzzing with bets on who it could be, most of them already gathered around the common area clearly dressed for a party. The Russian spy  made a beeline for Wanda, looking like a Christmas ornament in her sparkly red dress. 

"Anyone on to our girl?" she whispered to the sorceress.

"Just Thor…he's been hinting at it since Tony found the invite." 

"That's because Thor knows. Baited Y/N with a meme the morning before we left. Anyone else?" 

"I think Rhodey knows, too. But he's been suspicious since before the first live show, so I can't be too sure. You two should go get changed, we're just waiting for--"

"Ah, there he is! Brother! Are you excited to finally know the identity of your lark?" 

Natasha looked at the stairs, her eyes widening once she'd seen the effort that Loki put into his look for your show, wearing a form-fitting dress shirt set in his "old faithful" shade of green tucked into tight slacks that had her questioning if he would be able to even sit down without ripping open a seam, and a pair of black Oxfords. It was obvious that he spent a considerable amount of time on his hair, too, styled in a half bun that had a few loose tendrils framing his face, trying to look effortless but anyone who knew how much effort that really took knew that he spent at least 20 minutes trying to get that down right, even with his magic.

He looked over to where she and Clint were standing, his gaze searching for someone clearly absent. "Where's Y/N?" 

Natasha defaulted to her classic excuse for you. "Had to run an errand." He nodded at the answer, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. "Said she'll meet us at Groove instead." 

Another twenty minutes later and they were on their way to the bar, already filled to the brim with people buzzing about your identity as the unmistakable sound of your voice overflowed out of the bar and well into the queue of people hoping to be let inside. 

Once Natasha and Wanda walked up to the door, the guards let them through, along with the rest of the team, and they were all escorted toward the front of the stage, where they waved at the sight of you on stage, wearing an off-shoulder little black dress that fell just short of mid-thigh and strappy gold heels. 

"WOOOO LET'S GO Y/N!!" Sam shouted as he made his way through the crowd, making you chuckle in the middle of your song. "That's my friend right there!" he hollered as he clapped his hands, causing the rest of the crowd to clap along with him.

"I'll wait for the day when we finally say now or never Until then I'll be here wanting more as I settle for atmosphere" 

As you began the final chorus of Send Me the Moon by Sara Bareilles, you noticed that nearly all of the team already sat in the area you had reserved for them, noting some of them trying to covertly pass around the money that they lost when they were placing bets on your identity all those months ago. 

Surprisingly, the money was split between Sam and Bucky. 

You shook your head slightly at their antics and returned your focus to the rest of the crowd, your roaming gaze stopping short at the sight of Loki two feet away from the stage, looking up at you with such a venerational relief in his eyes it nearly made your knees buckle. 

As you finished the song, and you took in the applause, and the standing ovation from your team along with the wolf whistles from your girl friends, a smile began to grace his features as he mouthed, "It's you." 

You could feel a tugging at your heart, as if your world was about to crumble, but you no longer cared. Whatever happened, even if everything were to fall apart at your feet today, you'd be fine. You'd rebuild from whatever you had left. Your experiment was done, the resolution from the beginning of the year a hilarious failure. And yet, you knew in your heart that you could recover from this.

It was that resolve that had you returning his smile with one of your own, a bit more somber, as if you'd come to make peace with an impending loss. "It's me," you mouthed back.

As the applause faded, you looked into the audience once more and spoke into the mic. "Hi. I'm Y/N Y/L/N. And this will be the last song I sing as The Lonely Avenger." 

"What's gonna happen to your channel?" Sam's voice boomed from the crowd.

You shrugged in your team's direction. "I suppose I'm just gonna change it to my name. Can't exactly be anonymous anymore," you answered with a chuckle. "Maybe I'll do some drunk challenges with Nat and Wanda." 

"THAT'S OUR GIRL!!" Wanda chirped up from her seat, making you giggle at her enthusiasm. 

"Anyways…" You raised your iced tea perched on a stool nearby toward the crowd. "To The Lonely Avenger." 

Most of the crowd raised their glasses and repeated your sentiment. You heard Tony shout "to jellybean", while the rest of the team shouted "to Y/N". What had you confused was Thor's sentiment, as his distinct voice rang louder than the buzzing of the audience. "To my sister." 

You turned your gaze to the band and they began to play out your final song: "Tell Me" by He Is We.

"Take a video, Wan. We'll wanna go back to this moment one day," Natasha instructed the sorceress. She quickly took out her phone and began recording you singing your final song as the anonymous Lonely Avenger, switching the camera's focus back and forth between you on the mic and Loki's reactions to your performance.

"Eyes can only see so far Tired of wishing on Northern Stars So I close my eyes and pray Nothing comes to mind so I let my heart say Tell me don't give up…"

As you finished the song, Wanda made a motion to turn off the video but Nat's whispered "not yet" made her keep recording, and she watched with wide eyes and a slacked jaw as Loki walked up to the stage, his hand outstretched up toward you. 

"Take his hand, babes!" Nat hollered, cheering as you walked over to the edge of the stage, placing your hand in his. She and Wanda where all out squealing the second her brought your hand to his lips and kissed your knuckles. 

"For fuck's sake, Bambi, kiss her!" Tony spoke through cupped hands. 

Thor started clapping thunderously as you placed your hands on Loki's shoulders and he placed his hands on your hips and lifted you from the stage, setting you back down in front of him. On a whim, Wanda used her magic to point the mic toward you.

"My lark. My Y/N." Wanda held back her squeals as he brought his hands up to frame your face. "My love." 

The whole bar erupted into cheers as he leaned down and laid his lips on yours, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close to him and causing you to place your arms on his shoulders. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, The Lonely Avenger!!" a new voice announced as a man walked up the stage, encouraging a fresh round of applause from the crowd. "I for one am glad to see this turn of events. Who isn't a sucker for a good happy beginning?"

A murmured voice escorting you backstage to the green room was heard through the speakers, giving Wanda the cue to stop recording. Although she immediately regretted turning the camera off once she saw the unmistakably mischievous grin on the god's face as he wrapped his arm around your waist and lifted you off your feet, walking you both towards the aforementioned room with a little twirl of your dress. 

"Dammit this means I owe Morgan a hundred bucks," Tony muttered, making the sorceress turn an incredulous gaze toward him. 

"Tony, Morgan knows," Natasha told him, making the billionaire's eyes widen in pure disbelief. "Since before Y/N's first show. She's the one who told Wanda."

"Duped by my own daughter," he muttered. "Is it weird that I'm proud of her?" The team shook their heads as he turned to look at the blonde Asgardian. "And why did you forfeit, Point Break? You would've won."

"I found out before Lady Y/N left for her mission with the assassins."

"WHAT?!" the remainder of the team all but yelled in unison, proceeding to ask the god about the hows of it all. 

The moment the door to the green room closed, Loki cradled your head with one hand and had your body trapped between him and the door, his other hand now resting on your side, thumb gently stroking your stomach. "My darling," he said softly, the brilliant smile on his face never fading as he leaned in and pressed his lips to your exposed neck.

He proceeded to trail his lips down to the base of your throat and across your collarbone, humming a sound of contentment against your skin as he kept on murmuring your name between kisses. Your breathing became erratic as you gasped for air, your heaving chest pressing your skin even more against his lips.

You let out a hybrid between a squeak and a moan as he placed his hands on the back of your thighs, adjusting his hold on you and making you wrap your legs around him, giving you a flashback to earlier this year when he did the exact same motion to help you reach your mug at the top shelf. He trailed his kisses up to your lips once more, claiming your mouth with his at a languid, decadent pace. As if you had all the time in the world. You couldn't help but to sigh against him, allowing yourself for just a moment to be content with what was happening.

"I love you," he mumbled against your lips, pressing one more tender kiss upon them before pulling away, his grin one of obvious repletion, before spotting the look of consternation on your face and his expression quickly faded into one of concern. "What's wrong, dear heart?" 

"Do…do you love me or…"

"Oh, my darling mortal," he whispered as he cupped your face and pressed a frantic kiss to your lips. "I love you, Y/N. I've loved you long before you first sang under that moniker. Long before Stark's party." He pressed his lips against yours once more and you could feel your body physically weaken the moment both felt and heard him moan against your mouth. "I will tell you in the plainest words I can find, my love. I am maddeningly in love with you, Y/N. And I wish for you to be mine." 

"I'm yours," you said in a breathy exhale, unable to breathe as you felt his lips latch on to a particularly sensitive spot between your neck and shoulder and proceeded to lightly suck on the skin. "I've--fuck--I've always been yours." He had you arching into his kiss once his lips moved lower, playing at the neckline of your dress, just above your heart. "Please…please, Loki, I need--"

"I know, my darling," he cut you off, pressing his body harder against yours, muffling your moans with another kiss to your lips. "I know. But I do not wish for our first time together to be in the back room of a bar. You deserve more than that." He once again peppered kisses up the column of your neck. "You deserve to be worshipped. Savored. For hours. Days, even." Your breath hitched at the very thought of being at his mercy for hours, let alone days. "Just say the words, my love. Say them and I will make it so. You would be mine to do with as I please, and I yours."

He pulled away from you with a final kiss to your jaw, making you arch toward him again, silently begging him to resume his attentions. He didn't. Instead he simply stroked your cheek with his thumb, causing you to lean in to his touch. 

"I won't kiss you again until you say them, darling," he teased. "So say them and allow us both our rapture."

"I love you," you all but shouted, the evident desperation in your voice making him bite his lip as he smirked at you. You took a breath, trying to calm yourself. "I love you, Loki." He smiled, leaning in until your lips were barely touching. "Make me yours."

"With pleasure, my darling Y/N," he said with a soft kiss to your lips. "You must know, my love. You've never been alone. You have me. You've always had me." His next kiss felt like a promise, as if he was casting a spell that sealed your fates together in that single kiss. "Shall we?"

"Just lemme get my things," you said breathlessly. With a wave of his hand, your bag disappeared from the table in a flash of green. "We should at least tell the team we're leaving."

"I believe they're aware. Or they should have surmised by now that we do not intend to return to their company for a while," he answered with a smirk. "I'm sure by now my brother's told the staff that we've most likely disappeared from this room and it's safe to enter once more, so I believe our next move is to do precisely that." 

"You have to put me down, you know," you said with a giggle. "You can't just lug me around like a weird captive koala."

"I won't lug you around anywhere like a small furry animal. I intend to hold the woman I love in my arms; I will put you down only once there is a bed in our vicinity. Not a moment sooner." He pulled your body closer to his, securing his hold on you before pressing a tender kiss to your cheek. "Close your eyes, my love," he whispered in your ear. You did exactly that.

When he told you to open them you were no longer in the green room; rather you were in an opulent bedroom with a central motif of marble and a faded shade of gold. Looking at the view from the balcony you could tell that you were still within New York, but this was definitely not the Tower. "Mischief? Where are we?" You looked at his face and your breath hitched at the simpering look on his face.

"I took the liberty of acquiring us some accommodations for the week." The week? Your breathing thinned as he walked over to the bed, gently laying you down upon it. "Did you truly think I would bring you back to my chambers? Where my brother could so easily barge in like the brutish oaf he often is? That I would have my fill of you after one night?" He kissed his way down to your clothed stomach, before lightly grasping one of your legs and pressing a searing kiss to the back of your knee. "My darling, if you did, you've sorely underestimated how desperately I have longed for you." 

You had no words left in you except, "A week?" 

"Only because that is all I could manage without starting a war with our dear Captain over monopolizing your time, and leaving our team short of two resources at once," he answered you simply. "So, my lark…" He kissed the back of your knee once more before slowly crawling up your body. "My darling Y/N…" He kissed the exposed skin of your chest, just above your heart. "My love…" He captured your lips in a slow, sensual kiss that left you breathless. "Shall we begin?" 

A/N: I can't believe the series is already over, but that's it. That's the end of the main story of 'secret notes'! I hope y'all enjoyed going on this ride with me and in true 'me' fashion, this isn't really the end. Outtakes will come…I don't know when but I know they are happening.

But more importantly…it means that I have my schedule all clear for the collab series I've been talking about, and I can finally reveal that my fellow writer for this is none other than @mochie85!!

Taglist:

Everything: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @springdandelixn @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @arch-venus25 @freefrommars @littlemortals @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @peaches1958 @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @iobsessoverfictionalmen @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @avoliax @devilsadvocactus @purplegrrl27 @lokiprompts @sititran @imherefortomhiddleston @ladyjames78 @stupidthoughtsinwriting

Loki: @calumance @severuslovebot

[zari-0115]

Love Drought

Disclaimer: toxic relationship, these are black characters, graphic smut, and violent language

I stand in the window and watch the rain fall from the sky like God was crying over us. My sister was pacing back and forth going on and on about God knows what. The rain is drowning out her voice. I keep thinking about what he said to me over and over again it’s a terrible flashback: “I never wanted you, Natalia you’re nothing and you will never be anything.” Myles says to me looking at me with utter disgust. But I love him and I don’t want to let go. He is everything to me. Six years of my life have been dedicated to loving him and being there for him. Dedicated to being his verbal punching bag.

I yearn for him but instead in an attempt to stand my ground, I’m sitting in my sister’s living room not listening to her and watching the clouds cry. My phone lights up it’s a text from him: “I didn’t mean it baby, come back I love you. You know I will never do you like that.” My eyes begin to water. he’s singing the same old song he’s been singing. I fall for it every time.

“Nat are you even listening, do you realize what it’s like-” Ophelia stops talking or I shut her up I do not recall which. Because my phone rang, Myles called me as if his text wasn’t enough. “Yo Natalia did you get my text? I love you and I miss you. I’m outside of your sister’s place and I need you to come home.” I am inaudible for a second and before I could say anything I catch a glimpse of my sister out the corner of my eye shaking her head at me in mere disappointment mixed with a bit of disgust. I know she hates this for me but outside of her Myles is all I have.

I walk outside with my duffle bag in one hand and my Marc Jacobs tote on my shoulder. I reach the car and catch a glimpse of Myles. My Myles, his locs are dangling over those evil brown irises. He flashes his beautiful sharp smile at me as I enter the car. As we sit in silence I feel my heart sink to my ass. I know what’s going to happen when we reach our apartment, we are about to have the most rough gut-wrenching makeup sex, where it feels like I am apologizing more than he is.

******************************************************************************

Like clockwork, we bust through the door practically tearing each other apart. We are fucking animals. I rip his hoodie off of him, he’s forcing my pants down. We run into the wall... There goes our pictures from Valentine's Day: The frames hit the ground and the glass shatters under my feet. Myles scoops me up by my ass and carries me to our room. He throws me onto our bed and climbs on top of me he ignores his drawer of condoms because of the rules of makeup sex: nothing is off limits as long as the safe word has been established.

He slips himself in me, a gasp escapes my lips. I shiver at his touch. This moment right here is exactly why I stayed. I think to myself as he continues to move in and out of me while also sucking one of my nipples and caressing the other. He stops and then begins to kiss me and he whispers in my ear, “I want you to ride me baby” his whispers send a chill down my back, and I nod and he flips me over without taking himself out of me. I looked down at him and I begin to ride him like my life depended on it, I could feel him pulsing under me but I don’t stop. He squeezes his eyes closed, I take charge and between each huff and puff I manage to say: “Keep your eyes open handsome.” He loves it when I stroke his ego. I feel myself about to finish and I know he’s about to explode but before he releases he flips me over and takes himself out of me and immediately starts licking my clit aggressively causing me to release all over his tongue, he keeps going to clean me up I pull on his locs because I never want to let him up for air but I need to give him his release. As if he could read my mind, Myles, pushed himself in me and began thrusting again and again until finally, he erupted like a volcano.

I get up and head towards the shower to wash off all of our fluids. I slide the glass door of the shower but not before I catch a glimpse of what I look like. My dark face is covered in shame and my body stinks of failure.

I take my time in the shower then I make my way back into the room and I see Myles laying there… lifeless almost. I fell in love all over again just watching him peacefully sleep after we made love to each other… made love? No after we just fucked the absolute shit out of each other. I decide to go check up front to see the damage of our animal-like instincts.

I carefully tip-toed over the glass shards before picking them up. I look at our pictures and somehow a tear escapes my eye, Valentine’s Day last year we had gone a full month without fighting but still, I was never enough. We had hosted a couples party so we wouldn’t have to speak to each other and he wouldn’t have to get me a gift.

I pick up my pants and his hoodie off the floor. After placing the glass in the trash and our clothes in the dirty Bin. I make my way to the kitchen to prepare dinner. The rain finally stopped. So it was now my turn to cry. As I cut my veggies I begin to cry over and over again.

There has to be more to life than living in a loveless relationship. Where we never talk out our problems after a fight we just have sex. A man approached me at work today and I decided to be a good girlfriend and let him know… my mistake.

After all the sex I always remember what came before. How I will never be good enough to leave. Myles is mine and I am his.

I whip up a batch of roasted vegetables paired with caramelized salmon. As if Myles’s body clock was only centered around food and good pussy he awakes and makes his way to the kitchen. I don’t acknowledge his presence at first because I don’t know what type of mood he’s in.

However my curiosity was soon realized because he grabs me by my waist and pulls me close to him and kisses my neck and whispers in my ear: “let’s skip the food and go another round… I’m not done saying sorry yet.”

[lifeontop]

just one more day

idk it's just an idea. Nat leaves after Y/N hurts her.

One day. It’s been one entire day since you last heard her laugh. Since you last saw her smile, although hesitantly. Since you last felt her love coat your entire being.

You spent the night with your eyes closed, hanging on to better times. As the light filters through the blinds you didn’t close, your mind is robbed of its peacefulness and forcefully ripped back to reality.

This is one more day of hell. One more day of drowning in the shame of having hurt and disappointed the person you love most. 24 hours to miss her laugh and patience. 1140 minutes to see her features fade in your mind’s eye. You never thought that could happen. 864’000 seconds to drown in tears as the hurt in her eyes tears your heart apart. Just as many seconds to feel the last remains of hope drain out of your life.

One day turns into a week. Pretending to be okay has never been harder. Does nobody realize that the once bright and beautiful is now dull, gray, lifeless. People laugh, live, age as if nothing ever happened. You know better. You cannot remember what life was like before her and you have quickly learned that it is simply not worth living for.

One week, two week, three weeks. She is better off without you. You are only capable of hurting her, she deserves better. She deserves the entire universe. You are anything but that. You know she is not coming back. Numbness spreads through your limbs, willing them to forget how holding her in your arms felt. You will never feel that safe and unconditionnally loved again. She gave you her world and you burned it down. That’s on you, there is nobody else to blame.

A month. The pictures are still living in your phone. Looking at them is bittersweet. They breathe life into your hollow form and somehow fill you with hate towards yourself. Is that possible at the same time? You don’t know, but apparently it is.

Two months. The messages she left in your phone are the biggest treasure you have. On the days you feel like giving up you scroll through them, reminding yourself that you once promised her to take care of yourself, to live. You will not break another promise. You force yourself to keep going, to wake up every morning to another day without her.

A year. You would recognize that laugh anywhere. Your entire body tenses despite your mind’s protest. Your eyes automatically dart to the person who emitted that beautiful sound. A grin appears on your face. Your hand raises, your fingertips brushing against your lips to check on the weird occurrence. You take her in. She looks different. The once dark brown hair is now an auburn color, the colored contacts gone, but it’s definitely her. It’s different, but she looks as stunning as she ever did. Your vision seems fuzzy around her. As if your eyes were not meant to see the world but only her.

One breath. Two breaths. She is laughing, her arms wrapped around someone. Three breaths. She looks happy. Scratch that, she is happy. You know it. Even after all this time, your brain sees through all her shields and protective wards. Under them, she is glowing. Much like she did with you once. Four breaths. Your legs carry you away from her. Five breaths. She is happy. That’s all you ever wanted for her. The fire that you exstinguished is burning bright in her again. It’s your turn to let her breathe oxygen into it. You can not suffocate her a second time. Six breaths. Your feet hit the pavement again and again, leaving her behind. Seven breaths. The breath catches in your throat, you stumble, hands heavy on your knees. Eight breaths. She is happy. She is happy without you. Nine breaths. Searing pain shoots through your heart, shattering it for a final time. Ten breaths. Eleven breaths. Please treat her well. Never extinguish her. Never hurt her like I did. Show her how loved she is, and make sure she never forgets. One final breath. Twelve months without her. One promise that you managed to keep. A lifetime to go to keep that promise. And it’s one that you will never break. You broke her trust, but that will never happen again. Even if she will never know. You will keep going, you will try and take care of yourself to the best of your abilities. She will never be hurt because of you again.

You owe her that.

[unsleepingtales]

Episode four! I missed the bad kid’s insanity so much <3

Episode four of every season they’re shy!

In space no one can feel you dying 💀

“What’s the drinking age?” “You guys have murdered SO many people”

Kalinaaaaaa

Hiiiii

Oh she’s an actual cat now!

She/they pronouns for Cassandra are back!

Kristen’s middle name is on her character page now!! Kristen Chilis Applebees!

Catchin me on my left foot hereeee gato.

Ooh they’ve got other offers

Why would you SAY that

That definitely circumvents the truth in a cool way……

When your only two followers fight :(

Just stop saying it pleaseeeeee

Say a n y t h i n g other than that

Hot.

Oooh the mall!

Why would you SAY THAT

So many of them have stars in their hats! And I have stars in my body! :D

I love Cassandra so so much

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa Kristen when you’re in the dark she’s there holding your hand. She gives you forehead kisses

KVX BANK????

Oh well that makes it all okay then!

:(

Oh my GOD

What the fuck Bill

CHUNGLEDOWNNNNN

God the fucking. D20 directly reflecting my life experiences.

Simeon du Vayne the new lunch lad. What’s your vibe

Ooh third eye is sick

I love that they’re never gonna say her name right

Scabby!!

Gorthalax! Hi!

On my first day of high school this guy yelled fresh meat at all of us and he continued to be a pain in the ass all fucking year

Fig. Fig no.

It does seem like the rat grinders might be direct foils to the bad kids. Let’s see how this goes!

Kipperlilly did not come at y’all nearly as hard as Kristen went aggro at her

Is it the sack of rats trick?? Is that where they got the name???

IT IS THE SACK OF RATS TRICK. FUCK.

I love how pissed they all are about this

THIS is what riz has never been more mad about ❤️

Girlie!!

The bad guy this season is just xp leveling 😭😭

God how high level are they????

Kindlesnap Whatsherface

Dome!!!!

He’s just a guy!

Please please nat 20

Crushing. That’s crushing

I love ripped jeans gorgug <3

That is SO much

Corsica Jones is HOT

Kristen and Riz dynamic duoooo

Riz Gukgak character of all time

FIG

Archaeologist Siobhan Thompson!!

Really emphasizing the ‘sorry what’ thing that post was talking about

Fig barbarian level!

That energy is more intense than anything fig tried to imply from goldenhoard

If the cig figs break up I’m gonna be fucking devastated

Oh yeah the junior year eggs. Okay.

Can I have some of your girlfriend’s hair? I need it for school.

I love that we all called the kill mum idea

She really should get paid for the elven oracle shit

Inclusive kinggggg

Ooh maybe I’ll wear my owlbears sweatshirt tomorrow. (Best holiday gift I got!

Ah the epic highs and lows of high school bloodrush

Max Durden!! He’s so cute.

Love that for him tbh

THIRTY FIVE

Who is this motherfucker

What the fuck are you doing

(Zac wheezing in excruciating pain)

Don’t align yourself with her Riz

What!

I love that everyone is going so aggro on the buttcrushers. Absolutely demolish their asses.

“You don’t have to call me coach” oh OUCH

Bucky Applebees!!!

Love the paladin repppppp

Oh kiddo

Oh Kiddo :(

I’m not trying to be cool I’m trying to be president

RATGRINDERS CLERIC IS HELIOIC

The BUTTFUCKERS? ALLY.

She’s had a lot of jobs but not that many of them were… legal.

Fabian’s so lonely :(

Bad kids study party!!! Real and confirmed!!!!

Aww I was so excited for Adaine to work at Basrar’s but the mall is fun too

Hmm. Sketchy!

German shepherd mode <3

Emily and Ally are having SO much fun with this

The procrastination is so fucking real

I’ve deeply missed you

WHAT what does that mean why is this the case

Oooh okay I’m really getting the sense that that blue mall battle set is the Synod

Sunglass kiosk. Palm tree. Mall things.

Ooh I just noticed seacaster manor in the background of the dome art

Strudel dimension, don’t put your hand in it. Don’t! Put your hand in it!

We don’t know if the strudel is infinite it just hasn’t ended yet.

I’m obsessed with this guy.

I’m so obsesssed

Mazey Phaedraaaaa

Oh my godddddddd

“I’m from hell” girly I love you to death but you are from downtown elmville

Ooohohohohoh she’s good at this

I love dnd mechanics manifesting as real elements of life within game

Awww

I don’t know as much about warlocks as I should really do this is great

That’s SO SICK I LOVE HER

Ragh!!!

Babe you cannot make student government cool. You just can’t.

Oooooof

What is this energy

Crab kinggggggg

We’re so fucking back

I’m Christian Delnore and I have Children!

OOP

Kristen’s energy is SO wild this year. She said she was trying to move past chaos and then came out the gate with This energy

Tracker’s dating the fucking Princess. Of course.

Messy high school relationships :)

That’s how it goes!

The intense side eye I am giving the whole situation

Kristen do you wanna fuck Kalina

What do you want with the president??? (To say hi)

Hell yeah gsa member Kristen Applebees

Torek with the button press!

I love them SO much I missed the bad kids SO FUCKING MUCH

Ohhhh this is the backstory of that button from the merch drop ok

They’re so unhinged

WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT

Torek Railgrinder Theater Kid!!

Oh noooo

WHAT

Oh fuck

Why would you volunteer ANY information

She was a fucking turncoatttt

The name keeps getting further and further from anything

Stone cold

So excited for the party

HOT

SHE’S SO HOT

Oh god

Zero separation of church and state

Oh FUCK

What oh no oh god please no

AAAAAAAAAAA okay I guess next weeks is the mall fight!

I am so scared and so excited.

It’s our time! It’s our year! It’s all gonna be okay!

[queeenpersephone]

Hello gorgeous!!!!! Just popping by to request your take (headcanon, drabble, anything) on peace, maybe specifically “the devil’s in the details but you got a friend in me” for ironwidow? Hope you have a great day!

hi yourself!! this is a great prompt and i'm so happy to get around to it.

peace

ironwidow || angst, hurt comfort || post-cacw

(natasha defends tony and, in doing so, reveals something that has been haunting her since they got together)

Natasha can tell Tony's nervous. She's nervous too, although she would never show it like her boyfriend currently is.

This is the meeting that will make or break the Avengers. If they can get the backing of T'Challa, have Wakanda on their side, they stand a chance against Ross and the UN with the Accords. Natasha has been meeting with T'Challa alone for weeks now, gaining his respect and that of his inner circle when she helped him handle a coup in his country right after she had reunited with her sister. Her sister who remains in Wakanda, where Shuri is helping her find more Black Widows in thanks for their help.

So, T'Challa likes Natasha. Maybe even considers her an ally. However, Natasha is not sure the King of Wakanda is a big fan of Tony Stark. And, a few minutes into their meeting, she hates to be proven right.

T'Challa watches Tony carefully as he responds to their proposal of reframing the Accords. "I have my reservations," he admits.

Tony shrugs his concerns off. Natasha bites down a grimace. She knows Tony is serious despite his demeanor, but T'Challa doesn't know Tony near as well as she. His use of humor in tense situations is an obvious coping mechanism to her, but to T’Challa, it seems like an irreverence to the seriousness of their meeting. "Name 'em."

T'Challa sighs. "Miss Romanoff - Natasha - is very deliberate and thoughtful. She is the reason I have faith in this venture. You, Mr. Stark, are impulsive and careless. From what I have seen of you over the years, you are not well suited to the diplomacy and compromise required for going up against the UN." He pauses, leaning back as he watches them for a reaction. "This will not be solved with fists or robots."

Tony flinches at the reference to Ultron, but before he can respond, Natasha stands up, leaning over the table.

"We came to the table in good faith, Your Majesty," she retorts. "And instead of looking for a solution to our mutual problem, you insult my partner without provocation."

Tony sighs. "Nat, he has a-"

"No," she cuts him off, glaring at him until he physically sinks down in his seat. "No one gets to talk to you like that, especially someone who doesn't know a thing about things you've done, the sacrifices you've made."

T'Challa holds up his hands. "Miss Romanoff, perhaps I-"

"No, you're going to listen to me, and listen well," she says, knowing every word that she is about to say is important, is the difference between a team and no team. A deeper part of her acknowledges that it's also going to shift her relationship with Tony, but she doesn't care. He deserves the words she's about to say. "Tony Stark is the best man I've ever known. He is selfless, kind, courageous, and wise. I count myself lucky to be his teammate because I know it's certainly more than I deserve. He gives me hope for a better world."

She can't look down at Tony, so instead she stares down T'Challa, who is looking more and more apologetic by the minute. "I am sorry," he says quietly. "Any individual that you speak so highly of must be truly remarkable."

She nods firmly, inhaling at the feel of Tony's hand on her hand on the table. "Excuse me," she says, ripping her hand away and making for the door.

-

It only takes Tony ten minutes to find her. It would be embarrassing if she didn't tell FRIDAY to tell him where she was. It's almost pathetic the way she wants to be around him all the time, but (and she can admit it only to herself, at this point) she's too in love to care how she appears to him. Only to him.

She's sitting against the wall outside the Compound, listening to the sounds of nature around her. She feels more than sees Tony come outside, not saying a word as he slides down next to her.

“T’Challa apologized again,” he says. “He’s ready to begin the strategy meeting as soon as we’re ready.” She doesn’t respond, and he picks at the grass they are sitting on. “It was clever, of course,” he says, a surprisingly vulnerable note in his voice, “to defend me like that. How’d you know that would get him to agree to help us?”

“That wasn’t why I said those things.”

“Oh, come off it, Nat.”

She freezes, then turns to look him directly in the eyes. He sounds confident, but his hands are shaking and he won’t meet her gaze. “Do you think that little of me, Tony,” she says mildly. 

He starts in surprise. “God, no, Nat - I think the world of you. I just - I know who you are. You don’t have to lie to me - I accept every part of you, including the triple agent. Please believe that.” 

She turns, taking his hands in hers and squeezing tightly. “Then believe this. I meant every word. You are - stop it - the best man I know. And I know I can give you happiness sometimes, Tony, but sometimes I wonder if you know what you’re getting into with me.” 

Tony laughs in her face, but when she flinches, he grips her hands tighter. “No - I mean.” He stops, breathes. “Okay. Then tell me what I’m getting into. Tell me, and I’ll tell you why none of it matters because I love you and you’re a hero and I still can’t believe you deign to sleep next to me every night.” 

She exhales, and they both pretend not to see tears escaping from the corners of her eyes. He brings her hands to his mouth, then presses them against his closed eyes, wetness coating her knuckles. “You’re... you’re so brave, and kind, and wonderful, Tony. This whole situation has been... it’s been very hard. I thought we - the team - were stronger than all of this. If you hadn’t kissed me on that plane coming back from Siberia - forced us to forgive each other - helped me find Yelena... I would have become that lonely spy again. You saved me.” 

He laughs again, but this time it is relieved and breathless and so deeply content that her heart feels like it’s about to burst. “Natasha Romanoff, you are so selfless, empathetic, and brilliant. I wouldn’t have made it out of Siberia without you, coming for me even when I was an unbelievable ass to you after Rhodey’s fall. Everything I’ve done right since Thor’s skinny reindeer brother rained hell down on New York is because I’ve followed your example.” 

Natasha can’t help her watery smile. “God, you’re such a dramatic liar.” 

Tony reaches for her jaw, cupping it and bringing her closer. “Shut up, Natalie, I’m trying to confess my undying love here. I’m allowed to exaggerate a little; they’re gonna make a lot of movies about this moment in mmfh-” 

She kisses him to shut him up and maybe for some other very small reasons that exist only in her heart, climbing into his lap. They kiss for another few minutes before she rests her head on his shoulder. He holds her close, one hand combing through her hair. 

There’s a long silence, then: “I can never give you peace,” she murmurs into his neck. 

His chest vibrates as he lets out a soft chuckle. “Oh yeah? Then what am I feeling right now?”

[darkwaveho]

Birthday Tantrum

Stranger Au

Summary: The first time you and Natasha see each other since your big argument.

Parings: Natasha Romanoff x Black!Reader

Warnings: angst, cursing, brief mention of child loss, verbal abuse, mental abuse, self-harm, blood, manipulation, guilt tripping

Part 2|   |Part 3   |Part 5

“Nat don’t keep standing there staring at her you need to fix this, go talk to her.” Clint says. as he sips his beer. “The longer you wait the longer this is going to fester.” Natasha had been trying for the last few days to talk to you, every advance was ignored text messages, calls, voicemails, she even sent you a shit ton of emails. Natasha sips her beer looking away from your figure for the first time today. No one knew if you would actually show up to Lila’s birthday because of your fight with Nat but she held on hoping that you would. and now that you’re here she doesn’t even have the courage to talk to you how can she fix this mess she made? how can she unsay those words she said to you that day?

“I don’t know if I can Clint. I can tell she’s disgusted by me, that’s a first.” you wouldn’t even look at her you greeted everybody except her. the tension was felt between you two but only Clint and Laura knew the whole details about what happened. “I’m sure that’s not true C’mon this is your chance. After the ignored calls, texts, and voicemails I thought you would have leaped at her when you saw her at the door.” He knows she’s nervous that’s understandable, but he was not going to let her stand here and sulk when she could be fixing the problem. he gives her a small push when he sees you picking up dishes and walking inside the house. “Go, this is your chance Nat. and don’t dig a bigger hole for yourself watch what you say and how you say it.” She scuffs at the ending of his speech. She walks up the stairs and stops when she gets to the door maybe this isn’t the right time its Lila’s birthday for crying out loud. Natasha looks over her shoulder to find Clint giving her encouraging motions to go inside. 

Natasha walks in the kitchen finding you by the sink. With your back turned to her you still know she’s behind you; you feel her presence. You try to prolong washing this last dish. Putting all your effort into it you want it looking spotless, you want anything to take your mind off of her figure behind you. When it’s clear you aren’t turning around any time soon Natasha makes her presence known by clearing her throat and giving you a small greeting. “Hi.” you tense at hearing her voice. hearing her voice this small when a few days ago her tone was drastically different. you greet her in return while still keeping your back towards her. “Hey” Well at least you spoke to her right? Maybe she can just get straight to it and rip the band aid off. She was ready to beg and plead some more. “I miss you.” She speaks cautiously. 

“Yeah, I bet.” You speak as you turn around to finally face her. Okay, ouch that hurt, did you not miss her? “I miss you too” your response gets her to smile instantly as she moves closer to you. You hold your hand up to halt her movements. “I actually have to talk to you about something.” She’s a little worried now this was something separate from the aftermath of the argument. She nods her head not trusting her voice at the moment. “It’s about the Bone marrow results.” you say. Natasha’s eyebrows raise waiting patiently for you to continue. you inhale and release a shaky breath. “After we tried IVF and it failed the last few times, I thought maybe I’m just too damaged to carry a child.” you release a humorless laugh. “Hell, Maybe I’m just too damaged to have a child in general after what happened.” Natasha quickly interrupts you. 

“Look at me please, you’re not damaged, never say that.” She wipes the fallen tears from your face as you continue speaking. “I found out a week ago, but I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure that this was happening that it was real.” You found out a week ago and you’re just no telling her? The whole time during the argument you knew then that you were pregnant. She really feels like shit now. If things turned out differently, if she would’ve just listened to how you were feeling. Most importantly if she never said what she said none of this would be happening right now, she would’ve had the news much sooner than now. “And it’s real this time Nat, I was going to pull you aside after the party but since we’re alone right now.” you reach inside your jacket pocket and hold out the item for Natasha to take. her eyes follow your movements until her eyes land the pregnancy test. her breath hitches and her mind running at a mile a minute as she stands in front of you.

“What?” “Are you- are you sure?” you nod as you show her the positive pregnancy test. “Oh my god,” She grabs your face and pulls you into a heated kiss. her hands start trailing your body. you have to stop her before she gets carried away. “Nat-” you moan as she’s eagerly trying to keep the kiss going. “Natasha, stop.” she whines but pulls away “Why? What’s wrong?” she says curiously. “This doesn’t change anything between us.” You say, looking away from her. She steps back searching for eye contact. “What do you mean this doesn’t change anything? This changes everything, this is what we’ve been waiting on for so long and now you’re just changing the plans because of a stupid argument.”

“For me this doesn’t change anything, not between us, and the fact that you still see it as a petty argument between us is the goddamn problem. We aren't in this situation because of the argument, we are in this situation because of what you said during it. It's silent for a moment. Natasha knows you have more to say so she anxiously nibbles on her bottom lip. “What you said to me-” you take a shaky breath; she reaches out to comfort you, but you back away. “What you said to me was not okay, I can’t even process it and the fact that I’m even talking to you right now without screaming at the top of my lungs and losing my shit is a miracle.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“I don’t want to hear your apology, Natasha; it’s not doing anything.” If anything, each time she said those words made you angrier. A simple sorry was no longer going to work on you, especially in these circumstances. “Well, what will? what will fix this?” you don’t reply to her as fast as she’d hoped for, so she repeats the question more frantically. “Tell me what I need to do to fix this.”

 “I don’t know if we can.” she shakes her head “No I’m not accepting that especially now that our child will be affected by this.” You release a deflated sigh. You were tired of trying, tired of making excuses for her to treat you like someone she picked up on the way home. This was is a marriage, maybe somewhere down the line she lost sight of that.  

“I can’t Nat.”

“You won’t even try? it was one argument out of many that we’ve had before.” You shake your head no while looking down at the floor. “No” You don’t want anything stressing you out. This was stressful and could potentially cause you to lose the baby. Your response took her by surprise. “So, what I’m just not gonna see you until the baby’s born?” Missing appointments, ultrasounds, mommy and me classes. What am I supposed to do, watch through a glass window until you feel like I should see my child?” Natasha was not going to let that happen it’s one thing for her to miss out on things because of work but for you to intentionally ice her out during this life changing moment was fucking cruel.

“You were already missing appointments in the first place! I never complained, not once! maybe about making it home on time or making it to our dinner dates but I never complained about you missing the steps into having our child. now that I think about it, I fucking should’ve. A crucial part of our lives together and you were absent. I let you slide too many times, but I thought maybe she’s beating herself up enough about this one I’ll let it go.” How could she ever think that you would keep her from her child? No matter what happens between you two; you always want her involved. “Clearly I was wrong and don’t put words in my fucking mouth, I never said anything about excluding you from our child’s life! 

You pause to catch your breath trying to push the words off your tongue. you knew once you said them you had to stick to it. No more letting her slide. Natasha waits but she has a feeling whatever you’re going to say right now is going to break her even more than she is already.

“You just won’t be a part of mine anymore.”

“Please.” 

You shake your head and continue on ignoring her pleas. 

“I’ll text you whenever I have an appointment, whether you make it to it or not I’m not gonna stress about it anymore.” 

“Baby.”  

you hold your hand up, trying to stop her from speaking any further

“I’ll inform you about anything pertaining to our child.” 

“Y/n don’t do this.” 

you continue to ignore her as she rounds to the other side of the table

“Anything else not regarding our child is irrelevant to me now.” The way you’re talking to her right now is as if she’s in a courtroom getting a divorce, this is you divorcing her on the same day she finds out that she’s gonna be a mother. “You tell me we’re having a baby and now you don’t want me anymore? This isn’t fair Y/n! You don’t get to do this! you don’t get to give up on us!” she slams her hand on the table

“Why not? you gave up a long time ago, what was it you said?” you pretend to think for a moment. “Ah right I was ‘overly needy’. Is that what drove you away from me? because I needed you to love me? I needed your reassurance? Were my night terrors too much for you? You couldn’t do for me what I did for you. and you never even had to ask me to do any of those things. I did them on my own, out of love.”

She didn’t realize she made you feel this way, now she really feels like a shitty person, a shitty wife. this also feels like you’re punishing her though, punishing her for being busy, if you truly loved her surely the new of bearing a child could overcome something said out of anger in an argument, right?  “Dammit Y/n, why are you doing this to me?”

“There it is again; you play the victim as if I was the one throwing your trauma in your face. I never did that, and I never will because that’s fucked up. and fuck you for not getting that through your brain.” She’d rather not have this conversation here; she didn’t want to have this conversation at all. she came here to win you back thinking what she had planned would work but she was blindsided by the joyous surprise of her unborn child that deterred her plan. She cautiously stalks towards you trying to bring this back to a calm civil conversation. 

“Please can we go home and talk about this?”

“That's not my home anymore Natasha. I’m done talking.” She grabs you, your back hits the wall from the collision of your bodies. She’s trying to kiss you, but you turn your head. “Natasha, No.” A kiss wasn't going to fix this either. It doesn't matter that her lips aren't connecting with yours, she's brushing her lips across your face anyway, hoping that you will give in. eyes closed, lip quivering, head pressed to yours. Natasha was moments away from losing it if you didn't accept her apology and at least try to work things out. This was different from any other fight you two have had. You’re pregnant, you were having her baby. 

“Please, Angel–” Natasha whispers softly as her head finds its home in the crook of your neck. standing there panting Natasha thought the more she pushed trying to solve this the more it pushed you away. Was she making things worse? should she have just given you more time and space? “Don’t call me that!” You shove her away from your body. Sweet nicknames weren’t going to do the trick either. She hasn’t called you that in so long it makes sense that she would pull that card out now in the moment. The desperation was clear.

She drags her hands down her face frustratedly “Can you please stop, stop this. Tell me what I need to do, and I’ll do it. I fucking love you, how can you just leave me like this? This is being blown way out of proportion. I said one thing; one thing and you decide you don’t love me. Did you ever love me? because it sure doesn’t feel like it with the way you’re so easily leaving and giving up!” She yells at the top of her lungs; the last few days have been hell without you. She doesn't know how much longer she can go on staying in that empty house alone that you both designed together. 

“How can you say that? How can you even let those word fall from your goddamn mouth? Did I ever love you? Are you hearing yourself right now? All I ever did was love you!” You yell right back at her even louder. It seems like whatever you just said to Natasha went right in one ear and out the other. “If you love me then why not try fixing this! You were trying to spare this from coming out of your mouth but at the moment you had no control. Your anger was too much to conceal. you move away from the sink finally, rounding to the other side of the wood table. Natasha follows you as she waits for your reply.

“I fucking hate you right now!” You didn’t want to but you did. you could barley look at her without feeling the urge to breakdown. Natasha is dumbfounded right now, she can’t even move. You hated her now? She never thought of those words coming out of your mouth. This is a damn nightmare and Natasha just wants to wake up, she wants to wake up so desperately. She wanted to break down in front of you right now, you hated her. The love of her life, the mother of her unborn child, her guardian angel; her angel face, hated her. 

Natasha’s breathing is shallow that really knocked the wind out of her. you hate her. In the moments of it being quiet that’s all she can think about. You never said that to her before, she’s never said that to you either and hearing you say it sparks a newfound anger in her that you have never been on the receiving end of until now. 

“Don’t fucking say that!” She clinches her teeth and sets her jaw. “You don't hate me, say it!” You stay silent. you won’t sugarcoat things; you won’t lie to her. The only word you could use to describe how you felt was hate. 

“I said fucking say it!” She throws a glass cup against the wall making you flinch at the contact. You're not a stranger to Natasha and her outbursts, whenever something didn't go her way and she couldn't handle the emotions she lashed out. She threw tantrums. You sigh heavily, this was getting nowhere, and you just wanted to be far away from her. For the first time ever, she made you sick. You finally let your tears fall that you surprisingly held in for dear life. Natasha comes down from her episode realizing she could have hurt you, triggered your anxiety, she would have hurt the baby. 

“I’m– sorry” she says as she rushes over to stand in front of you. “Shit! sorry you, okay?” you wipe your tears and void all eye contact with her. She is searching and trying so hard to catch your gaze again. She fucked up; her emotions got the best of her again. “Like I said I'll let you know about everything.” Natasha finally releases a sob as she falls to her knees in front of you. She’s hugging your thighs like her life depended on it.

Clint finally steps in the room hearing the argument and sound of broken glass from the backyard. Maybe he should’ve told Natasha to wait until after the party. He was just trying to help his best friend fix her mistake. Now he thinks this only made it worse and he played a part in it. He kneels pulling Natasha away from you. “Hey Natasha, stop, you have to let y/n go. That’s enough maybe you can talk it out another day but right now you need to–” 

“No!” Natasha turns to point in your direction. “Y/n I’m not letting you leave here until we fix this! Clint won’t be able to hold her much longer so he yells for Steve’s help. “Clint get off of me!” he was gonna need back up he really didn’t want to fight his best friend on his daughters birthday. but the rage Natasha had in her at this moment was slowly changing his mind about it.

Steve enters the room confused but doesn’t question clints request to help restrain his best friend. “Y/n go she’s not in her right mind right now.” Natasha struggles to get out of the super soldier and the archers hold. 

“Baby, wait! Don’t leave, please.” She screams while uncontrollably sobbing in Steve and Clints hold right now but the sight of you inching closer to the door and leaving her once again has her fight or flight senses kicking in. She leans her head on Clint’s dining room table for a moment as she pounds her fist against the table the force behind each pound increases each time. Clint thinks she’s trying to calm down, so he and Steve release their hold on her, which they instantly regret the moment they do it.

“Natasha what the hell!” Clint moves quickly to grab a rag on the counter.

  Natasha slammed her face down on the table. Her nose is broken for sure. You heard it before you could even touch the door handle. You turn back in terror seeing her like this, bloody, breathless and broken. it makes you feel like shit for doing this to her. for making her feel like this, but you keep remembering why you're here in the first place, and how she knows how to pull you back in when she knows you're at your limit. This was a way for her to reel you back in, seeing her hurt; hurt you. It was a low thing to do but she was desperate. Clint noticed the slight loss of confidence you had about walking out that door. He doesn't want you to regret not sticking to your gut. If anything, Natasha's action just showed him you needed to leave. 

“Y/n, we got this, go.” Clint says to you once more. when you finally find your will to move out the door, you hear an earth-shattering scream following behind you. you nearly crumble on your way down the front steps. Laura steps away from the kids when she sees you, the physical and emotional hurt on your face was evident she needed to check on you. “What happened sweetie?” You close your eyes trying to shake the image of your wife’s bloody face from your mind, you knew it would be difficult, but you had no idea things would end up this way. “I’m pregnant.” Well, that was great news Laura thought, so what the hell happened in the kitchen? 

“But that doesn’t change anything for you and Nat?” How did she know everything? Honestly, she was a god scent, the way she knew things before you could even tell her and how she had a solution to fix it. This was very different, there was no solution to this, at least not now. “No.” You finally shake your head to answer her previous question. “Maybe you both just need space and time from each other and possibly revisit everything after the baby’s born.” She rubs your back soothingly.

“Yeah” you say. wiping your tears and leaning away from her embrace “Tell Lila happy birthday for me again and that I’m sorry for leaving early.” you pull away from Laura quickly not giving her time to respond. You make your way to your car frantically grabbing your keys. you need to get out of here, being in the same area as Nat was not doing your body any good right now. especially not after what she did in the kitchen. “Mama what’s wrong with Auntie Nat?” Laura sighs she’s not going to lie to her kids, but she wasn’t going into details either. “Auntie Nat is in pain right now baby.” Lila pouts a bit at the response. “You think a picture will make her feel better?” Laura leans down to kiss Lila’s cheek. “That always seems to make her feel better why don’t you give it a shot and when you’re done, we’ll give it to her tomorrow she’s tired now, I’m sure.” Lila nods her head and runs to her room to get started on the drawings.

“Come on Nat, what happened?” Natasha finally calmed down from her outburst she’s embarrassed with the way you looked at her. the horror she saw on your face, but she couldn’t handle it. she gained a child but lost her marriage and lost you that was never in the plans. “I’m gonna be a mom.” She puts on a small happy smile that quickly replace with sorrow. “And Y/n doesn’t want me anymore.” her voice breaks while trying to get the words out. “I’m sure that’s not true, just give her some time. And with that stunt you pulled in the kitchen, you’re gonna be supervised whenever Y/n has an appointment. That can’t happen again Nat. Y/n can take legal action and then what? You won’t be as involved with your baby unless she decides to make that choice.” Natasha shoots her head up from his shoulder at what he just said, would you really do that? would you really get the government involved? you wouldn’t keep her from her child, would you? No, Natasha shakes the thought from her mind. “She wouldn’t do that.” 

“You don’t know that Nat, look I’m not trying to upset you again I’m just trying to make you understand the consequences of your actions. If y/n decides to take this to court, you could be ruled unfit. She didn’t want to hear this shit, she just wanted you. She just wanted to be at home on the couch with her hand on your belly talking about what color to paint the nursery, baby names, and everything else that comes with the news of a baby being born. “I just want my wife; I want my baby.” Natasha whispers it over and over again until she nods off from all the exhaustion her body has been through today. One thing for sure Natasha did indeed dig herself a bigger hole than she was in before letting her anger and emotions cloud her judgement caused all of this, but she was determined to wait it out. to wait on you to come around and forgive her so you both can be present and parenting under the same roof. she would wait for however long it took.

[wandanatsbaby]

hi mi amor, can u write natasha protective mom meets kate as girlfriend reader pls? tks!

Hi mon chéri.

Protective Mom

Paring: Mom! Natasha Romanoff x Daughter reader, Kate bishop x reader Warnings: Little bit of angst? Fluff, Protective mom Nat

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Kate was visibly shaking as the elevator got closer to your mom's floor. Today you were introducing kate as your girlfriend to your mom. You weren’t worried about it because you knew your mom only wants what was best for you. Kate on the other hand was terrified. She has heard many stories from you about the black widow’s reaction to meeting your past partners.

Upstairs Natasha was pacing the floor. You had told her the other day that you were bringing your new girlfriend to meet her. Now she was thinking of every possible way to scare them off. She couldn’t have anybody hurting her baby.

As the elevator arrived at the floor you and Kate stepped out and were greeted with Nat’s stone-cold face.

“Y/n I thought you said you were bringing your girlfriend?” Your mom said as she looked behind you before frowning.

“Did she hurt you? DId she leave you? What happened?” Just then her eyes wandered down to your and Kate’s hands that were intertwined. Just then Kate a moment of bravery. Wrapping her arm around your waist she looked confidently at Natasha.

“Miss Romanoff, I am dating Y/n. And before you say anything I want you to know that I will never hurt her.” Natasha glared at the girl before walking over to you and pulling you from Kate’s grip.

“No. I won't allow it. You're an avenger, Kate. You'll be putting her in danger. There’s no guarantee you'll come home from a mission. I can't have her going through that pain. She needs a partner who will be with her. ” She said. Kate looked at the ground defeated. You looked at your mom in shock. She had no room to be saying that to kate. She was also an avenger. The only reason you’re not one is that she wouldn’t let you.

“Come on y/n steve wants to train with you.” Ripping your hand away from her you walked back over to Kate.

“NO! I'm tired of you always scaring off my partners. I love Kate! She won’t leave me. Please mom she makes me happy. I love her.” Both of them looked at you in shock. You and Kate had never told each other the L word. Your mom stared at you in sadness.

“Baby, I just don't want you getting hurt.” Your mom said.

“I won't. Kate won’t hurt me.”

“I would never dream of hurting her.” You both said at the same time. Your mom thought for a minute before smiling and nodding.

“Alright. But the second she hurts you I will take her out.” She said before moving towards you both. “Kate? y/n said she loves you. Do you love her?” Kate nodded quickly. “I do. I love her so much.” You smiled at her and she looked over to you with the same smile.

“Welcome to the family. DOn’t mess it up.” With that she hugged you both.